The_Book ยท 3109 points ยท Posted at 18:11:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about salary. I feel like it's a taboo that benefits employers at the expense of labor who never find out if they're being underpaid. Certainly makes negotiations more difficult.
Punkrulz ยท 1070 points ยท Posted at 02:59:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one hurt me. A new coworker who did the same job I did told me he was making more. I had everything on this guy... More certs, more years experience, more training, and above all I was 100% billable which meant my company didn't pay a dime for me and made significantly more than I got paid.
Of course I decide to ask my boss wtf, but I'm in trouble because I discussed it and it was none of my business. It's none of my business how you're screwing me over?
IAmRoot ยท 702 points ยท Posted at 03:18:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is really good to know. When I found out people with much less experience were being paid more and brought it up, my employers announced to everyone that any discussion of pay would result in immediate termination. I'll have to add this to the list of illegal shit they do, just in case.
IAmRoot ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep in mind that it's also illegal to fire people for trying to organize a union. Union democracies can become corrupt, like any system, but that's no reason to just throw up your arms and submit to management. They're organized against you with everything from the state establishing and maintaining the riches' claim to most of the earth's resources to their feudal-esque management structures. Nobody can fight a system that well organized without organizing themselves.
How does this apply to people who stream off twitch? They're contractually obligated to say nothing about how much they're paid
IAmRoot ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IANAL, but the people who stream off Twitch aren't employees. It's like they're small businesses making contracts with a larger business.
It becomes problematic when "independent contractors" behave as if they were employees but are paid as contractors in order for the company to avoid paying benefits.
Adjunct professor here. Per class contracts are why I'm leaving the profession. Full time employment is getting harder and harder to find in higher education precisely because the schools don't want to pay benefits. A maximum teaching load of two classes per semester at 3k per class pretty much ensures I'll be working myself to death at three schools, teaching six classes per week to pay my student loans and mortgage.
Full time course load is considered three classes per semester plus committee responsibilities. I'm working nearly twice that for much less than what they make.
I wish Bernie Sanders and other politicians would recognize that this piecemeal method of employment is likely the next step for corporations if they change wage law. Sidesteps the whole situation.
tl;dr - Higher education is an awful, exploitative industry.
mcac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:39:32 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow adjunct, I feel your pain. I can earn a maximum of about 10k a semester for 6 labs or 3 lectures (half time because anything more they have to pay benefits). That's 20k a year. I only teach labs because there's less prep work and I don't have to create my own curriculum. Oh yeah and that maximum applies to all state schools so I can't even double up by picking up classes at another institution. It is just a side job for me but I know there are some adjuncts that rely on it as a primary source of income. It's really fucked up how adjuncts are treated.
They are called "partners" not sure what that means.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:31:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It basically means their position is a subcontractor for them, not an employee of twitch. By this contract they can then pay them whatever without benefits and make them sign an NDA so they can't talk about it and negotiate wages.
Where I work they specifically tell us that we are forbidden from doing so.
It's just a food joint, though.
IAmRoot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the United States, anyway. It was one of the rights won after years of bloody strikes and is part of of the National Labor Relations Act of 1935. Unfortunately, a lot of people are forgetting how hard people fought for those rights and that the New Deal was on the conservative side of the solutions proposed. There were quite a few people who wanted to simply take over each workplace and run each one as its own little democracy and electing each coordinator position.
Dubzil ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 03:05:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to explain to your boss that you out-qualify this person and should be paid more and if they don't agree, they need to give you a reason why and you need to start looking for a new job.
puloko ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:51:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they should give you a proper bloody reason why you shouldnt be searching for a better job
liflo ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:23:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. You need to show your value and what you do for the business and ask for a raise on your own merit. Bringing up someone else isn't likely to get you anywhere. Most likely the skill he's one upped on is negotiating and self promotion.
asyork ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 03:29:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or he started with the company before he out-qualified the new guy, and the incremental raises didn't match up to what he could get as a new hire with his current resume.
You often have to trade income for stability. If you want to always make what you are worth you will usually have to move around.
Everyone is correct, because there are numerous reasons why this could happen. The salary being discussed is a nuisance because the applicant was able to negotiate their way into whatever level of wage our vacation. When the long term employee goes to ask why they don't get that, the manager is put into the spot of having to disclose details of a private interview. There's not a lot of good answers, and a lot of employees don't like "please hang on while I figure out the best response."
That's how it is at the company I work for. I have been there for a while and know that my peers who are getting hired at my current level are starting out with much better pay since my salary over the years only increased 2-5% a year. I did get a little extra % for my big promotion, but I'm still between $5-10k lower than my peers.
quirx90 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:08:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This may seem like a dumb question, bu have you asked for more? My company does biannual reviews and at my last one, after my boss had finished his points I brought up the fact that I wanted to discuss my salary. I went in to the discussion with a list of everything I brought to the company and about how I felt that I was worth more now than I was when I was hired due to experience and my impact on the workplace. Long story short, I walked out with about 6k more a year. I know that this usually isn't a norm.. but there is honestly never harm in asking, and if there is then you should consider looking somewhere else.
Lots of good replies here. At the end of the day the new guy shouldn't have discussed it. It's a confidential contract between him and the employer.
I'm in a position that requires me to recruit occasionally and due to our industry it's very difficult to find someone who is appropriately experienced. Sometimes this means we have to offer more to secure them in the company.
This doesn't mean we are undervaluing our other staff but does make it very difficult if they find out.
This whole thread is about how talking about salary is taboo but probably shouldn't be. Any particular reason why it should be considered wrong for employees at a company to discuss the pay they receive for working the same position?
It's usually a contract confidentiality thing.
We have individual contracts that are customised to each employee.
Sometimes the difference in pay is purely (as stated before) a matter of needing to offer more to secure an employee in a difficult industry.
Other times it's that even though you might be more certified and hold more industry experience your value to the company may not be as high. It sounds harsh but personality, customer service and adaptability play a big part in my technology based industry.
GeeJo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:33:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The company is perfectly justified in paying two people two different salaries for the same job. But at the same time, the lower-paid employee is still allowed to ask for whatever raise they want, and point to the other guy's salary as evidence that that's the market value of their skillset.
If the company really does value them the same, then they shouldn't have a problem with paying commensurate compensation to keep the employee on. If they don't, then they shouldn't have a problem with the guy walking away.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why women make less.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, the reddit STEM circlejerk.
Yes, there is a difference in which jobs women go into. More women become nurses and more men become doctors, so nothing to correct there. Women are more nurturing anyways, and men are better at thinking and being in charge so it makes sense to divide them that way.
This was a specific comment about when employees negotiate their salaries-- in these jobs, women end up paid less than men for the same jobs.
You only need to look at walmart, where women are disproportionately not made managers, which is higher paying, tor realize there is still some disparity.
I agree though; I should have say 'that's one of the reasons why women make less'.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:47 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, the reddit STEM circlejerk.
I don't follow how succinctly describing relevant industries is circlejerking.
That's why women make less.
This was a specific comment
( อ ยฐ อส อกยฐ)
You only need to look at walmart, where women are disproportionately not made managers, which is higher paying, tor realize there is still some disparity.
I'm not convinced narrowing our field of view to a single company is indicative of an inherent bias against women's pay, especially when men are generally known to seek higher education that qualifies them more for higher positions within a field.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:48:42 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stem= hood and high paying and everything else = crap is the stem circlejerk. I say this being in a stem field. In addition, stem is probably not the best to bring up when talking about gender inequality, as women face some of the greatest barriers entering stem fields.
Basically, you're saying that men pursue higher paying jobs, and that's why they are paid more, therefore there isn't discrimination.
I'm saying there's discrimination, which results in women pursuing lower paying jobs.
And I think the discussion of the nation's largest employer would be relevant to a discussion about wages?
I don't know why you are downvoted. It's the truth. Women are far less likely to negotiate for higher wages then men are statistically. Fucking knee jerk reddit...it's not an old boys club at every company.
[deleted] ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 03:48:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are paid EXACTLY what you are worth. If you were worth more you would walk out the door and hire on at a competitor. After all you're worth more right?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 05:38:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How powerless and pathetic is that. We are all our own captains, if you want more take it.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:42:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Because from an economical point of view the trade we make in money for labor is in perfect balance. Otherwise the employer would be forced out of the labor market.
But that's not my point. Either we accept that we are responsible for our lives or we let others guide us for their purposes. We each make that choice with every decision of every day. Want more money? Figure out how to get more money, because that's exactly what thegal driving that new lexus did.
Employees are paid the minimum they are willing to be paid for their work. If there are only 10 jobs for 100 people, of course the company only hires the 10 that are willing to accept the lowest salary. That is just a simplified explanation on how demand vs supply works.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 14:03:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So in the end the people competing for that job are paid what the employer thinks the job is worth to her. Exactly what its worth.
Life is not a spectator sport. You aren't out to fix the unemployment rate or solve world hunger. You are responsible for you. If you are worth more, get more.
That's not what the employer thinks its worth, it's just the nature of a free market. The employer just has all the negotiating power. Think about it. You want to hire people to do some labor for you and you get to pick out of a group of people with all the same qualifications. Before you interview the prospective employees, you personally think the job is worth $15 an hour. You interview the people and you see that some are willing to work for $10 an hour. Do you pay what you think the job is worth to you or do you hire the most cost-efficient people?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Logically what is the difference? An employer can offer, an employee can accept. Saying the employee has no negotiating power os ridiculous. They withhold labor, and even offer labor to the competitor.
Your words male it seem like people who work have no part in the mutual agreement that defines their work.
Thinking some faceless corporate machine is responsible for your part in a mutual contract is demeaning.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:51:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 13:37:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life isn't fair, it doesnt have rationale. All we have is us. We can take was is handed to us and sit by as spectators to our lives. Or we can accept that we are going to take the reins, empower ourselves and do what is best. This is not a spectator sport.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:45:06 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know this would just be solved with socialism.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:54:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:45:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, i have a house with a view of tbe city, a nice job with pleasant coworkers in an interesting field, a beautiful SO sleeping next to me as i cuddle my cat and chat on the internet from my S6. So... pretty fucking good. How's it going for you?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:31 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:36 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you met my mom you would crawl into a cave and die before saying that. Good on you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:11 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:58 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would be ideal, yes. Except for all the non-compete clause in our contracts. I work in pharma and I'm not allowed to work for a direct competitor within 1 year of leaving. I didn't give a fuck and went on anyway. There's really nothing they can do to enforce it.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:44:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ive signed those too. I signed them. Me, I'm responsible for that signature.
bahahahaha. First of all, theirs no way concrete or agreed way to measure a labourer's worth, so that's impossible. People get paid far less or far more than they're "worth" to a capitalist all the time. Its arbitrary and you're fooling yourself if your think otherwise. Capitalism: the fantasy that an 'invisible hand' always make every outcome fair.
You don't get it. We are all paid exactly what we are "worth" in the given context, because your employee gives that amount of money, and you accept that amount of money as compensation for your time. It's not about capitalism being fair (it's not), but if you do a job that pays you jackshit, in that context you are accepting that your time is worth what they pay you. It doesn't determine your worth as a human, that's an intangible thing, just how much your worth is determined between you and your employer.
But accepting a salary doesnt mean jack shit in terms of worth. companies make mistakes all the time about employee pay and are forced to either benefit or suffer from it. The act of agreement has no special bearing on 'worth'.
At this point I guess it depends on how you define worth. Therein is the philosophy part of all this
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:42:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I'm much more socialist than capitalist. I just believe that you must make your own way as much as possible in this world because you are your own best ally.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:17 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nope. the ingredients for success are basically luck, class privilege, and help from other people. the "self-made" person doesn't exist.
hezwat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the reason why is that the new guy was only willing to work for Y, and if offered less than Y wouldn't have started: we wanted him. Meanwhile you were willing to work for X. You have had no jump in your performance that indicates a substantial raise. Do you complain every time your telecom company offers new customers a better deal than the 2-year contract you were locked into? If x wasn't enough for you, you should have mentioned it then. Not due to us hiring someone else."
.. would be the company's answer. Which is why the ONLY way to get a meaningful jump in salary is to simply switch jobs. Tell the other companies what you'll work for (in this case "Y", since it's the market salary) and whichever accepts you first, you just go work for. That's how you get 30% jumps in salary instead of 5% increases. Due to various reasons, nobody will just bump your salary up 30% from one day to the next. the right thing is to start somewhere else.
by the way - that guy they just hired, who is making Y: do you think he was making Y at his last job? No way!
Fortunately this was in the past. The issue was dropped, nothing was happen, and another boss basically explained that it is what it is. I eventually left that job for bigger and better things.
I tried that but it didn't matter. They basically said it is what it is and that I shouldn't know this information to begin with. This was a few years ago, and while I've been through a few jobs I'm pretty happy with where I'm at right now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not how it works. What someone else makes has no bearing on what someone else is worth. He would need to show his boss that a) he brings more value than he's asking for and b) that he's willing to walk if he doesn't get a salary bump.
If he cannot do both of those things, the salary bump is not likely.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to start looking for a new job before you do all that. This way you have leverage.
I disagree to a point. Going to a current employer and saying "I have XYZ offer for $XX from another company, can you match it or beat it?" will result in several possibilities.
The current employer says "we can't match/beat it. Go ahead and take it." Now you have to leave your job, which you might have loved except for the salary, or else admit that you didn't really want the other job, and stay at your current salary and look like a schlemiel. (45% possibility)
The current company says "ok we'll match/beat it, here's $XX amount more per paycheck." Then Current Company starts looking for your replacement because you've just shown that you're looking to jump ship and aren't loyal (but of course companies don't feel they have to be loyal back, yeah I'm a little bitter). (45% possibility)
Current company matches/beats the other offer and everything goes on exactly as before otherwise. (10% possibility)
b00ks ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:14:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you might be qualified enough to find a new job that will pay you more.
Thank you! Not quite where I wanted to be in life but at least for once it's moving in the right direction.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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b00ks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have time to hang out on reddit, you have time to update your coverletter/resume. It literally takes minutes to send those off to people.
Look, I get that some people have situations going on, but complaining because someone makes more than you isn't going to do any good. There may be many different reasons for this. You could have been working there for years and you got hired on at x dollars an hour, which at the time made sense. It's not the new guys fault that he makes more, he just either negotiated better or the pay package was better.
You could also be a shitty employee. I've met more of those than I care to admit. They always like to blame their misfortune on someone else, when in reality they should be taking a look at their attitude. Your skill set, certifications, etc don't mean shit if you are a pain in the ass to work with.
jaesin ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:15:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That job they had me contracted out to local govt. Loved the job, hated the pay. Basically public pay without any pension or benefits. Then I went privste sector with more pay, but eventually got laid off.
I went back to public for a different Township and absolutely hated it. Couldn't afford to work there and was basically told this is it for you, we won't give raises. Now I'm private and absolutely loving it. I'm a contractor, but as long as that gets renewed I'm good!
faykin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skip the talk to you boss thing.
Just look for a new job at a better pay rate. This one is best on your resume.
This was already done. :-) I had left that job for a better paying job requiring less work. Two jobs after that I found some place that I'm really happy, and while I'm a contractor I hope I can find a way to get my foot in the door permanently.
If you're in the USA its actually SUPER illegal for your boss to tell you not to discuss your pay with coworkers. If he even implies it or fosters a culture of silence he's breaking the law big-time. He needs to get his shit together and take this seriously.
Can legally bar employees from talking about their salaries to people outside the company, the website Ask A Manager advises. That's because the NLRA only protects employee discussions within the company.
May be able to prohibit employees from discussing salary during times when they're supposed to be working. However, as the Texas Workforce Commission explains, employers should be careful about enforcing such a rule -- especially if they only limit conversations about salary, but allow the discussion of other topics during the workday. That may appear to be an NLRA violation.
I wish I had known that in the past. This was back in 2007, and I don't think that direct manager works for the company anymore. I also doubt there was anything that could be done without recording the conversation. It was a raw deal. I worked there for another year. A friend came in offering me a job with the company he works at. That job already told me if they lose the contract I lose them, so I left.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's how the market goes. You want more money, he wants more money. You should find a better job or convince your boss he needs you.
I eventually left that job. When they played their cards on how important I was to them, I didn't want to stick it out and keep making them money. A friend stopped by and offered me a better job with his company back then so I took it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:02:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We believe it was a mixture of negotiating better when he started than when I did (I was there two years at this point), and he might have had some college. No degree, but he had gone.
This led me to go to college and right now feeling one of my biggest financial mistakes ever.
420Bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Policies that prevent employees from discussing their wages are illegal. IJS
I don't think there was anything written. They were pissed because it was discussed, but I don't think they could've enforced anything. I live in NJ so I'm sure if they wanted to they could've found some other subtle reason to fire me and there's nothing I can do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check out glassdoor.com to find a relative value in your field and area.
Good for you, man. That's actually very difficult for people to muster up the courage to do. If you wouldn't have spoken up, I'd bet you'd be really disappointed in yourself. Fuck that prick boss of yours. I hope they eat shit doing something tomorrow.
I believe this is how I started it. I still went about it wrong and it became a discussion of "wtf, this guy makes more and shouldn't" but it was too late.
I left that job a year later voluntarily.
Saratj1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree everyone knowing what everyone makes is great in theory, terrible in practice. If your not happy with your rate do something, if you are happy with your compensation then great. I've found out what co-workers have made several times, and even when I made more it didn't really give me much satisfaction, but when I made less it bugged me to no end. I would make a plan to ask for a raise in the future and work for the next couple months to make sure I was in a good position to negotiate, then ask the boss. This worked fairly well, I always got something for my efforts not always what I wanted but I didn't leave empty handed. So I guess I gained a little by knowing a coworker made more than me because it lit a little fire under me to improve my own situation, but I'm not sure it was worth it. Also pro tip of your serious about negotiating salary then be prepared to quit, I feel if you feel strongly enough that you need a raise then you should be prepared to work elsewhere if you don't get it. It's really the only bargaining chip you have.
Just remember that the labor bureau frowns on this and it is technically illegal to stop employees from discussing their details with each other. It's especially illegal if that's in their employment contract you signed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience I may go somewhere else and try to negotiate better to what you think you should be making. They won't pay you more simply because you know you're making the least. Now you know how much they think you're worth compared to other employees.
aeramor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little rule of life: if someone is paying you, they make more off of you (or they wouldn't pay you).
I think you need to take a different perspective on this. The other person probably negotiated themselves a better deal. I understand that it seems like you are getting the raw deal, but perhaps you just didn't get everything the company may have offered you if you'd pushed harder. Part of every deal is how you sell yourself.
This is very true and something I had struggled with. It was a lot easier to negotiate a deal when you already have a job which is what happened with the current job. When you're unemployed they won't pay you much because they know something is better than nothing, which is what happened at the last job.
It means he negotiated his salary better than you did when he was hired. Many folks don't try to negotiate at all, not sure if you did or not.
My company runs into problems with H1B visa workers - the government requires any company that hires an H1B to post a notice on their cube for 10 days after they start that state that they're a visa worker and they are being paid at least the prevailing range, and we have to list a salary range. That causes butthurt feelings amongst other employees, which causes some companies not to post the notice, then they get fined by the government, etc. It's a cluster for sure.
It never fails. Back then I was much younger and didn't know much about negotiating. What doesn't help is that it was a friend who gave me the job so I trusted that it was fair. He wasn't the one to hire the other guy though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got an email about my coworkers salary by mistake and found out he was making almost twice as much while I had two years on him, better evals, and more certs.
I immediately applied for better jobs and once I had a few interviews, then I went to my boss to talk about my salary.
At least he managed to try to match the salary so that's a plus. I love how someone spends more money at a school for the same piece of paper as you, so they're expected to make more. Bummer!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I was new at my job and I couldn't understand why the guy got mad at me. I was paid 2000 dollars more for the same job he did but with a difference I was full time and contract which means I wasn't taxed.. He was angry even though he's been work 5 years dispite him being an ass hole I see how he felt.
In my case we were both full time employees. I wasn't an asshole about anything and kept my head down and did my work. My customers liked me and my company tried to mess with that. It was all about negotiation when he started.
Ultimately I didn't. It wasn't significantly more, about 5 grand. Eventually I left on my own accord as a friend came by and offered me a job elsewhere.
It may be a determination but how I control that escapes me. I'm in a situation that escapes me right now. This situation the employers were very unhappy with me since I knew the salary information, and even more unhappy with me that I decided to discuss that.
If memory serves me correct, they may have swapped me and the other guys customers because we both discussed it, and these new customers were inconvenient for both. It was only a month long project, but they ruined business with my customer because of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in trouble because I discussed it and it was none of my business
LOL, of course it's your fucking business. You and another human being had discussion and you learned that the company is underpaying you. Your boss is a dick.
I agree. There was no employee loyalty. I made them tons of money and the customer wanted to keep me (but contract me out, not hire me directly lol), and my work basically said if they lose the contract they're getting rid of me. This was years ago and they're struggling now while I'm thriving.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to your boss and ask for a raise and be sure you can show u deserve it. And say this line, "whatever you are going to offer me, double it"
Its in your contract, read it and stop being a mindless sheep of the system. If you don't like the contract, renegotiate it. If you take the job you have nothing to complain about. Capitalism.
Ours (University) are in the newspaper once a year, every year, in a big table.
It's an interesting day. Top administration and sports are waaaay overpaid.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:30:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Most "popular" sports (well...football & basketball) at big universities bring in boatloads of cash. It only becomes a problem if the university doesn't have the funds to support the academic departments and diverts cash hopelessly towards sports instead. If spending a couple million on coaches generates tens of millions more revenue for academic use, I'm cool with that. The more popular the team, the more money is made on licensing, and that's where the big money lies. Upfront sales from sporting events (tickets, food, parking, etc...) is only a small fraction of it.
Only 7 universities in the US have sports programs in the black, counting sports merchandise. the vast majority suck money, land and time. Some terrifyingly so.
Nolano ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:19:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'll be damned. Our football coach is one of the highest paid public employees in the country, I always assumed it was a huge money sink, but apparently we have the most profitable college sports in the country. Til
_Bones ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:12:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe I'm reading that wrong, but doesn't that say the top ten, at least, are in the black? How does the subsidies column factor in?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My concern is with their financial relationship relative to the university budget as a whole, for which the subsidy column is the important one; excess revenue doesn't make it back into the general fund very often.
Accounting in different ways, analyses have come up with numbers such as "10" or "22" financially profitable NCAA teams; still the vast minority.
If you think that women's sports cost more than a drop in the bucket compared to a Coach+Assistant Coach salary, you did not read the breakdowns in detail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes! One of the most interesting things about universities, as opposed to some other entities, is how money moves between departments. The tuition needs to be distributed to appropriately pay the teachers.
While they are paying "list" price for the student's education, that often doesn't meet the costs, and another student could often fill the same seat for more revenue.
Though at the (many) schools where athletics takes a cut of every student's tuition, this means that they are paying themselves money in a weird roundabout way.
Boosters are people or organizations that donate money to a sports program, along with other things like organize fundraisers or other things to help out the local teams.
For example one of the bigger ones is Paul Bryant Jr, son of Bear Bryant of the University of Alabama. Paul Jr has given 10s of millions of dollars of his own money along with raising over $100M for the school's sports programs.
I know at Arkansas the Waltons and Broyles have poured a lot of money into the athletics program.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:33:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It only becomes a problem if the university doesn't have the funds to support the academic departments and diverts cash hopelessly towards sports instead.
University of Oklahoma student here and... sigh
baumpop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It was the same 16 years ago too. I'm sure tuition has gone up to cover his salary.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 03:52:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sports contribute to the product students are paying for. Campus landscaping doesn't make money for the school either but no one thinks that shouldn't be paid for.
There's a reason people go to a university instead of devry.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sports contribute to the product students are paying for
There's a reason people go to a university instead of devry.
I know that's a joke but MIT actually just went undefeated this season in DIII
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't like d1 Athletics feel free to go to a school without them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh thanks for the clarification. I only want to watch sports and don't want an education, so I guess universities like Ohio State, Georgia Tech or Notre Dame provide low tier education and top tier sports for someone like me! After all, with enrollment of 60k+, no one would go to a university like Ohio State for the academics...football is life!
Enough sarcasm (since you didn't understand my previous comment). If you choose a university solely for watching sports, sorry, but you're a fucking moron. The whole point of college is an education. The experience is an aspect of it, but education should be your number one priority, otherwise you're wasting money. TV and the internet exists for watching your favorite teams.
The people who care about sports should fund sports by watching them. Don't steal from every students tuition (or taxes/muni bonds) to pad the wallets of a few rich men and sustain a insolvent business.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:53 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should every department of a university be required to maintain a profit? should the art department? The theater department? Should all these only subsist on the tuition of those who take the courses?
How about museums and libraries often maintained by universities? Should a Library show they have enough usage by all the students in order to stay open?
How about dorms-- often subsidized by the university at large; should residence fees be raised so they can cover the cost of the dorm completely?
Athletics provides an opportunity for students who might not have otherwise been able to to attend a university. It provides an intangible benefit to some of the students, just like a statue on campus would. If you disagree with how some of the money flows (to coaches and whatnot), that's fine. But to attack the concept of collegiate athletics just because you do not get a tangible benefit from it is selfish and absurd. I never took a theater class nor did I attend a play, but I don't complain that part of my tuition paid for the building of the theater.
Athletics is fundamentally different from Academics. It has no place here, historically, practically or rationally.
The argument from scholarship funds is inherently flawed because the money that now goes to athletics could easily subsidize students more likely to succeed, or simply lower tuition, and thus one of the major barriers to higher learning, for all.
Mine too, barely, but we are in the overwhelming minority.
The best explanation I have heard is, the main job of a university president is to talk rich people into giving the university ludicrous amounts of money. If he can't talk a board of rich people into giving him ludicrous amounts of money, he is not as good.
Our prez here at purdue cheated by appointing the board before they chose him, but he is an awful human who hates us all, hates free speech, and wants to fire the faculty.
It's available to be gotten, not a click away. While people might be curious it does takes a bit of effort which means it's effectively not available, given people's propensity to be lazy.
My dad was the head of the bomb squad (one of only 3 in the state with one being solely for the airport) for about a dozen years. Annual earnings were published every year with some of the top valuesbeing put in the newspaper. Several times he was the top paid person in the department after all his overtime was included. The chief was furious every time.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:36:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I'm really not bothered at all if the guy in charge of the FUCKING BOMB SQUAD makes a lot of money. Not bothered one bit.
I've a spreadsheet I set up at some point showing all the IT folks on our campus. I used to be among the lowest paid in my classification, but now I'm among the highest! (well, to be fair, that's because so many other folks have left, not because there's been any raises, but at least I have increased relative ranking, which is nice... :-)
That's the employer's fault. They acted unfairly, and ya'll were rightfully angry.
How were they at fault? And how did they act unfairly? Are you implying that everyone in that office deserved to make exactly the same amount, and that should be over 100k?
You have no idea if the employer acted unfairly. Just bc people get upset that other people are making more than them doesn't mean that person deserves to be making more. Some of the shittiest employees think they deserve to make far more than they should.
I had a kid that had dropped out of college, started at our company knowing literally nothing, I trained him for 4 months, and despite only working an average of 31 hours a week (including lunch) in what was supposed to be a full-time job, and still having to be guided by our more senior employees to do anything complicated, he walked into my office one day and told me he was going to quit if he couldn't make 95k a year, bc someone had told him that that's what the salary rate should be for front-end developers. Despite the fact that he had spent his first 3 months barely able to contribute, didn't follow coding guidelines, had learned everything he knew from us, and could barely be considered a junior developer, he thought he was a fucking rock star. He walked out on me that day. edit: which is good, bc I was looking for a way to fire him without paying that fucker unemployment, and he solved that problem for me, which is the only real problem he ever solved for me.
Just bc someone is angry that they don't make more and other people make more than them doesn't mean they deserve to.
A fucking college drop out demanding near six-figures working barely full time while getting the opportunity to write something on his likely pathetic resume? You should have been paying that kid $0 and have him kissing your feet for the internship opportunity.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:08:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me about it. He was getting a better education from us than he was in school. He was working on real code in use every day and working with senior developers who were basically tutoring him on Java, C#, Angular, Html, CSS, Javascript/JQuery, and Wordpress. Maybe he should have been paying us. Some people are just assholes.
Man, I'd LOVE a chance to learn something new with caring folks to teach me everything. I'd feel like I owed that company EVERYTHING, not like everything was deserved to me. Glad y'all no longer have him around.
RUN-DLC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the employer's fault. They acted unfairly, and ya'll were rightfully angry.
Unfairly? That's just the market and timing. Your labor is a product that you sell. Supply and demand are the biggest factors in what you can get for it.
Interesting. I work for a casino that does the samething. Some people range at 200,000$, doesn't say a name , just example District manager gets X amount, Shift Boss gets this amount, super visor this much.
They do that for the ABC ( hard alcohol distribution for the state) store per County here, and how long they have been working there etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess
ABC, Australia?
Amorine ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the states this is slowly changing, particularly with younger generations just entering the work force. People should be able to talk openly about their salaries. Some companies actually make salaries visible to all employees for the sake of trust, transparency, and motivation.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:39:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just come out and ask my friends in the same field how much they're getting offered for salaries. It helps everyone to stay informed about what an appropriate salary is and most people are willing to talk about it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I know what most of my close friends make and they know what I make. It's not a big deal at all.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
63k+ bonus. I'm 22.
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I had a work study job in college a few years ago and a professor asked me how much the work study wage was. I told him without a thought because who cares, but afterwards my boss told me he was surprised I would just openly talk about that. He was a laid back guy in general, but I guess that "don't talk about what you make" mentality is still strong in many older people.
Agreed! People think it's rude & tacky to talk about salary... how else are you supposed to know who's getting underpaid? I also don't mind someone asking how much I paid for things (house, car, purse, etc), or I'll blatantly tell someone how much my vacation cost... I think money should be talked about openly.
I agree to an extent. My dad taught me not to because, "Let's say you got a smoking deal on something, later you decide to sell it and get something new. The value of it is there and you can make some money and its a fair price you want, but someone who wants to buy it knows about the low price you paid and wants to give you less than that, because it's now used, even though it's worth more and others would pay more.
I used to have no problem talking about my salary if someone asked, but recently I've had some negative reactions to it. I try to avoid it, not because society says so, but because of how people might react to the exact figure.
I tend to agree with you here. If we are friends I will normally have no problem talking to you about it, but I don't need people judging me on how much money I do or do not make. It seems unnecessary.
At my last job it became a huge deal because when myself and other new employees came in they paid us better than the older ones. Soon as that got out they were pissed that we talked. But honestly, management sucked and very much wanted no one to know what people were making, so they could save money and underpay people.
phobiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is federal law. Employers are not allowed to actively discourage discussion of wages, let alone punish it.
2dP_rdg ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:50:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait til you own a company and enjoy the burden of trying to keep everyone happy when they know everyone else's salary. Reality check: Bob the developer with 15 years experience doesn't like it when Bill with 10 years makes more, and he likes it even less when you tell him "Well, it's because Bill is better than you."
People are not equal. People in the same role with the same experience are not equal. And there are countless reasons why someone may be paid very differently - such as the company needs them more than you, even if you are awesome and they are not.
At my company, we are not allowed to talk about compensation. But some of the very freshly hired people did not realize that and started sharing information freely.
Thus we learned that these new people, completely unknown to our company (and one of them only an intern), are being hired in at a higher rate than the rest of us make. I mean, those of us who have been here 5-6 years and already proved our knowledge/commitment, and have been though 4-5 raise cycles.. are CURRENTLY making up to 5k less than all the new hires. The only people making more, are those who have been around 10 years.
But we can't complain, because we aren't supposed to know.
That is bullshit. I'd rather be told someone makes more because they are better than me.. this just seems arbitrarily cruel.
Edit: And we are all in the same role, same responsibilities, etc.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:10:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my company, we are not allowed to talk about compensation.
If you live in the United States this is absolutely NOT legal.
Is there a way to get them in trouble for pressuring us not to tell?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but if you talk about it and are fired you can definitely sue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like there could be an explanation though. If either the labor pool has shrunk or the number of companies looking for people in that field has increased, that would explain why it's happening.
The solution for you, then, would be to leave the company. The reason they don't put you on an equal standing as the new people is the assumption that they don't have to compete against other companies for your labor.
If you can go out and find a company to offer you what you consider a fair salary and are willing to change jobs, then you have proven their assumption wrong and they have to deal with it.
That makes sense in general.. I'm not sure about our case, but there probably is some reaso I don't understand. We are preschool teachers though... there seem to be plenty available..
Sadly, we are all getting paid more than many other people in the field. But it still doesn't seem fair.
I started out as an intern for 10 an hour, was hired fulltime 3 years ago at 24k salary.. currently making almost 26. The intern who just joined us this summer is making 27. Two other teachers who were just hired last year, with no schooling in child development (which I have) were hired in at 30k.
The turnover in our field is generally pretty high, most people leave within the first 2 years (I have been there 5 total). you'd think they would want to give incentives to stay. I would stay forever if they gave me 30k.
Generoh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are only worth as much as you can negotiate
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a hard time sympathizing with one business owner who has to actually figure out how to make employees happy instead of multiple employees who might benefit.
Willuz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you assume employees would benefit from public pay rates? There are many situations where you can negotiate higher pay but they can't afford to give it to everyone. If they have to make your raise public then they may not be able to give it to you without pissing off others in the same job. I much prefer it to be kept private since I work hard to make myself worth more to my employer.
There are two sides in a negotiation. One side having more information will give them an advantage.
And you don't know if you are more valuable to your employer-er if you don't know what people are making do you?
Willuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you don't know if you are more valuable to your employer-er if you don't know what people are making do you?
What does a different person's income have to do with how valuable you are to your employer? The two are completely unrelated. If everyone's pay was public then the only way to keep everyone happy would be to pay them the exact same. Then knowing wouldn't help you at all because your pay is stuck at the same rate as everyone else regardless of how valuable you really might be.
If you have any doubts about how valuable you are to your employer then you need to look around the workplace and find something that isn't being done and do it right to make yourself more valuable. If you can't figure out how to do that then, yes, you are being payed less and there's a good reason for it.
"If everyone's pay was public then the only way to keep everyone happy would be to pay them the exact same."
Just not true. Plenty of places manage to do this without having t everyones pay be the exact same.
But if you want to continue to fool yourself that you are making more money because your employer has more information than you and your coworkers do then I won't try to stop you.
Willuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:22 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you want to continue to fool yourself that you are making more money because your employer has more information than you and your coworkers do then I won't try to stop you.
Whoosh, the point goes right over your head again. Salary negotiation has nothing to do with whether you are making more than your coworkers. Do a couple of searches on salary negotiation and game theory and you will see a multitude of recommendations for obtaining a higher salary. What you will not see is comparisons to what other people are making because you are not negotiating for the other people, you are negotiating for yourself.
You stated that the employer knowing what they pay other people is an advantage for them. However, they have no idea what countless other companies are willing to pay you and that is a far more useful detail in your negotiations. Instead of wishing that the other side were required to give up their advantage you should focus on building your own advantages. I'm not "fooling myself" because I negotiate and get exactly what I feel that I'm worth.
This. If you want to know what you're potentially worth, talk to headhunters, go online and compare what open positions are looking at as a starting salary, look at your yearly pay raises compared to national averages, compared to company performance, and compared to review performances.
Knowing what Steve from accounting makes doesn't necessarily mean you're getting cheated or you're making what you could/should. So unless you've got intimate details of what somebody means to a company, you're not really gaining much with that info.
2dP_rdg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:35:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then support your local Walmart where everyone can earn the same awesome wage.
I agreed with you when you talked about the 15 years vs 10 years, but if the person that's worked there for 15 years can't accept that someone younger or someone with less experience is better and smarter and thus gets paid more, then that person is dumb and a whole lot of other things.
Federal employee here. We can look up each others pay some nobody cares. We all know and other employees will ask if they are thinking about applying for a spot in your area. Friends get all weird when I tell somebody that asks about my job and I give the pay WG-8 step 2. 22.79/hr. It's just money.
sp106 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:52:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This just creates a lot of awkward conversations if it's a place that has kept this secret policy for a while.
The answer that a lot of people don't like to hear is that not every employee with the same job title is worth the same amount of money. They would have structured differently if this was not the case.
Making this public takes people who were happy with what they were making, gives them unrealistic expectations and makes them unhappy.
Yeah, most people are TOTALLY able to completely empathize and understand why they're worth X% less than their cubical neighbor, and it sure wouldn't invite some irritation or conflict every time they heard that person make a personal call.
And that's just assuming that the reasons behind who's making what are entirely merit based.
But that's just not the way it always works, so that's a silly notion to begin with.
What kind of negotiating power does somebody have when they start? How vital are they to the company? Experience? These things aren't necessarliy tied to merit. The 30 year old with offers from 3 or 4 companies can probably drive up the price in negotiations. The 57 year old with oodles of experience but a couple of years away from retirement probably isn't going to have the same interest in a competitive job market.
So no, it's not always as easy as saying "well, So-and-so does 7% more work than you at the same quality, so he's just going to make 7% more than you."
I used to process payroll for my company and knew exactly how much people made. I knew who had negotiated extra vacation time too. It took some adjusting to learn that I would probably never understand why people made a certain amount. However, I did certainly pile more work on the people I felt were overpaid or instructed them to help those I felt were underpaid. (low skill positions who were either related to executives or attractive and dressed inappropriately skimpy for the office - one of them put a hula grass skirt around the front of her desk because her skirts were too short to sit down in). Fine, make more answering 4 calls a day and opening mail than the highly skilled assembler who is the only person who knows how to make our product but I'm going to do my best to be sure you work for it.
I really wish people were compensated better for being a good employee. Showing up on time and working as a team instead of looking out for your own interests are highly under valued traits in my opinion. Being a jackass hurts other people's productivity and being a team player helps.
I also wish more companies had the balls to write people up when they break rules instead of waiting until the 10th time and then freaking out and not wanting to fire them because you have no proof of how awful they are. Who cares if a good employee gets written up once for leaving early if they never do it again. Write everyone up and when that lazy fuck does it for the 10th time then you have a paper trail.
It's because finding good help is hard. As a manager if I wrote everyone up who did the smallest thing wrong, no is going to want to work for me. No one should be in fear of their job because they showed up a few minutes late once, made a mistake, etc. In my line of work, if you screw up you will hear about it, but to get a formal write up it is either going to be something big or something you are doing repeatedly while be told not to each time.
I think the issue is that a write-up is seen as punishment and feels like a big deal. All it does is document the incident. If you show up late once or a make a mistake, no big deal, you get a write up and you never get another one. Most companies have a policy of 3 write-ups having to be for the same incident. You could even have a policy of a write-up expiring after a year if you don't get another one.
The problem is that you have an employee who does something that they are repeatedly told not to and if you write them up, you are being inconsistent with the other people who have done the same thing (though not repeatedly). Maybe the other people who did this before were white and this employee is a person of color or a woman and now you are worried about discrimination. And at that point you are so sick of it that you really want them gone but just one write-up isn't going to give you grounds to let them go.
The other problem is that you have an employee who was good and reliable but they start to slip, so you let a few things slide but before you even realize it, they are the worst employee there but skated by based on their previous reputation (maybe they are an alcoholic who relapsed or whose personal life blew up). Maybe this person is just really friendly and cool and funny and its harder to be annoyed by their mistakes until you realize how bad it is or they have destroyed morale by getting away with more than other people.
Writing people up when you 'feel' they've done something too much turns it into a subjective judgement which MAKES it a bigger deal and makes it a real punishment that is shameful.
By writing everyone up, you catch things sooner and if the employee is a good one but is having a hard time, you create a plan for them to follow to help them out and if they are an incredible employee who just can't show up to work until 9am but will stay until 6 then you can adjust his job description or hours to suit that. I often think that employees are done a disservice in cases like this. If they had each incident written up, everyone would realize things were not ok a lot sooner and maybe have been able to salvage this employee's job, reputation and life if they catch it early.
I have witnessed an employee flip out, cuss at a vendor on the phone and then when called into the president's office proceeded scream and cuss at the president (who was very conservative/religious) and yell at them about how they are the most useless piece of shit and how everyone knows it. We heard every word through the closed door. The employee was sent home for the day and the president went to pull the personnel file to see if he could fire him only to find there were no write-ups. This was not the first incident of outbursts by this employee but nobody had written him up and since he actually did his work fairly well he had good performance reviews. There was one incident that almost resulted in a write-up until he threatened to sue the supervisor for sexual harassment and admitted he would lie about it just to get them in trouble. The president did not write him up either or speak of it again either.
I think the only time out of at least 10 jobs where I have seen anybody get written up was when I insisted someone get written up for inappropriate comments to the girls he worked with. For added context he was 20 and would kind of invade personal space with the girls in the back room and touch their clothing or bracelets and discussing things that definitely crossed the line with them. The girls were 16-20. They didn't even think what he was doing was reportable and I just overheard them talking about how creepy he was and started asking questions. We wrote him up and warned him. When he did it again it was grounds for immediate dismissal. I even remember what got him fired and it was talking to a girl (16) about the color of her underwear.
I think it also depends on the environment you work in. At one place employees never ever cleaned/restocked the bathrooms at the movie theater unless you went out there and made them do it. There was a check list and a schedule to sign off that it was done every 15 minutes. That is not only bad for customers but it is a liability if someone slips and falls on a puddle in there and you inevitably had customers complain about being out of paper right when you were in the middle of a rush or right when multiple movies were getting out when you could least afford to spare someone and when it was hardest to actually clean the place or restock. Nobody would write them up for it and nothing ever changed. You would train a new person to care about it and then their co-workers would show them that nothing ever happened if they didn't do it so why should they be the schmuck who works harder than everyone else.
Compare that to an office where everyone is a professional who is responsible for getting their work done. Write-ups are needed more in some environments than in others.
Thing is, most people will make excuses rather than tell someone to their face that the are a lazy piece of shit. I know of SOOOO many people in the same positions as my parents, and as me, who are figuratively pieces of dung next to the way we work, and get paid accordingly. But they will never get told that, because the amount of uproar they can raise can and will get anyone they dislike fired, for PR reasons. Thus, don't tell them the real reason they are worth less.
I'd rather have people angry because they know, than happy because they don't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because we live in a classist society. It's considered rude to do it blatantly, but people look down on you if you're poor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly makes negotiations more difficult.
That's the entire point.
The only reason it's taboo is because employers don't want workers to cooperate or organize with each other. They want everyone to be in the dark, so they can exploit them as much as possible.
See the problem is that once you know, there is still almost nothing you can do about it. At this point, when asking for a raise at all is a good way to get fired, asking why Mike gets paid more is a good way to get fired AND get blacklisted for employment. You want to fuck yourself for life, go ahead. I for one, am going to continue to assume I am underpaid, and work my fucking ass off, making myself as useful as I can until they WANT to give me a raise, or I can't afford to live, which comes first.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband works for a luxury company and they make sure no one ever talks about salary. This place sells designer onsies for hundreds of dollars but my husband makes below the poverty line. It's no suprise to me they don't want the employees discussing or complaining about the mutual unfairness of their income.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a solo practitioner, I encourage my employees to discuss salary.
Of course that just means I spend ten minutes talking to myself in an empty room. I'msolonelyโฆ
You can look up and post averages online. I wouldn't want someone to pigeonhole me based on income, but I wouldn't have a problem with posting about it anonymously.
On the other hand it discourages assholes from bragging about how much they make. If there's no taboo they can "share" how much more they're making than you.
Here in the UK amongst the young generation (pre-university) this doesn't seem to be a taboo - I've had teachers outright ask me how much I earn and I don't feel comfortable with the idea that people have eyes on my money if they're not a colleague (and even then, unless we were in the exact same position I wouldn't be comfortable discussing this). My work pays me slightly over the minimum wage so whilst the figure itself might look like an acceptable salary coupled with my age, it really doesn't take into account what the work and just invites comparison. Feels too personal.
As someone who works as a government employee in Japan, trust me - having people point blank come up and ask you how much money you make in a passive-aggressive way is extremely off-putting.
I have strangers come up to me at the gym and go "how much is it we pay you people to come here again?"
It's very uncomfortable. To me, it's not a whole lot of money, but to them it's more than the average salary.
Exactly. Two people I work with all started at the same time, similar work ethic, and identical salaries. We have sworn to tell the other our salaries to the dime until we are in vastly different areas. So far, all three of us know how fucked we've all been. Honestly, that helps, hahah. Also, with renegotiations it has helped immensely.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The younger generation don't give a fuck.
"So what's the 'salary range', if you don't mind me asking?"
At my old job, they fired you if management heard you talking with another employee about how much they got paid. This makes me think certain employees were making waaaay more than others and they didn't want it getting out.
I just got hired onto a job. I have never done this before but the management heard I was great at what the job entails based off references and a couple mutual friends.
I work directly with a person who has been doing the job for 4 years and she's great at it.
We discussed pay the other day...i didn't tell her I made 4 dollars more than her because it would have destroyed her. She's great at the job and deserves to be making more than me as I have zero experience...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I make it very clear I am only driven by money and perks. I have no love for the company, if they want me to come in and do a good job they must pay me and treat me accordingly, else I will just go somewhere else.
It's nice having options. But then again most people don't have that luxury.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about money in general. Boasting about money, that's a different issue.
Elenson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm my career we're always sharing our wages with others at other companies and they share back. Let's everyone in the industry pressure their employer for competitive rates. No, we are not all unionized either, just a rare kind of professional.
Dabrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can be helpful in those cases, but I still think it's bad taste to talk about it too openly. Some people simply earn a lot more than others despite doing less and easier work and most people don't want to be reminded of that constantly.
philmtl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup I got "letgo" after my boss had other employees ask for a raise because I was making 2$ an hour more than them. Ya... had nothing to do with my 8 years of experience /s
Possibly. But you should still be free to do so. In some jurisdictions it's illegal for employers to even discourage, let alone forbid, salary discussion between employees. At a previous job the 5 of us all shared salaries and no one was upset. The boss / owner actually took the lowest salary by far and we all agreed he should pay himself more. Maybe we were all just too friendly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Owners sometimes take less salery for "tax reason". Some stuff can be billed to the company. Take vacations and call it a business meeting, company cars, etc. Saves you from payroll tax.
It wasn't that kind of company. It was about 10 people. He had a moderately nice car, but a small house. Definitely took home less overall than I did.
icase81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of maybe you'd be pissed.
[deleted] ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 02:01:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't ask me what i make unless you're a close friend of mine, or i'm going to assume you have no life skills and not like you. even if you're a relative my answer is "fuck you, it's none of your business"
that's not the same as asking someone about their career and a "does it pay well?"..that's a normal question/conversation and not being intrusive. asking how much someone makes, a co-worker or not, is....being obtuse.
I know I'm not the the person you asked but, something I think about this question is that in certain contexts in can be rude. For example if someone is asking just to be nosey so they can go behind your back later and make comments about how much money you make, then it's rude. In other contexts though it's not. Like if you suspect your not being paid enough so you discuss it with a coworker who has the same job, and roughly the same skill set, to make sure your salary is fair.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you either make more or less money than the person asking the question, and either way it can be awkward. Especially if you make a lot more than the person asking.
It's not offensive so much as nothing good can really come of it.
nobuild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i dont know about that, i mean maybe it could be awkward if you guys were hired for the exact same job and at the same time and are the same skill level, but if one of you has more seniority and is getting paid more, then it makes sense. and if one of you works harder and get's paid more, that also makes sense. but if one of you absolutely blows at your job and is getting paid more i'd sure as hell want to know (assuming i'm not that guy) so that i can ask for more money.
My wife was recently changing jobs to get more money, she's was a retail manager for a small company and asked for (what we found out later) was a small salary because she didnt know better. she now left that job due to finding an opening for double the pay and half her staff quit with her.
if it would have been legal (/against store policy?) for her to talk to the other store managers in our neighboring city to find out she was getting shafted money wise she would have never looked for another job in the first place, and they wouldn't be trying to run a whole store with 2 people right now
hmm, yea as i'm re-reading this i realize that i didnt really stay on topic...
That sounds like dumb reasoning. By that logic, you should never compare anything to anyone else, because someone will always come out ahead.
Someone makes more money than you? Well duh, lots of people do. Are you going to avoid talking to people who are richer than you? Or vice versa - if you find out that someone makes less money than you are you going to stop associating with them?
The only people for whom this is an issue are people who are assholes or who surround themselves with assholes.
Remigus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:40:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you make more than I do, doing the same job at the same company for any reason, that's a problem. If someone suspects they're getting shafted, they're going to try and find out.
if someone knows how much money you make they will get upset when you give them gifts cheaper than what they think you should be giving, or try and get you to invest in their poor business schemes
I used this logic a couple weeks ago at my work. I'm a lifeguard and a few teenage guys were talking about skinny dipping. The official rules don't cover apparel so technically it is allowed. The only stigma is that you have to be okay with everyone around seeing you naked.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:22:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like 30 and I've been accosted for having visible bra straps... people are not over their weird upbringing yet. They'll watch GB after GB of porn in secret, but a bra strap is where they draw the line.
I've had people whisper to me stuff like "PSSST HEY JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW YOUR BRA STRAP IS SHOWING" in this really secretive manner. Like, jeez, it's not like it's a secret article of clothing. Everyone knows I have one on. It's just a strap, it's exactly like the strap of a camisole or anything I might wear over a bra.
ESPECIALLY if it's unintentional. Like I get if it's looking askew and we're about to take a picture that you're like "youre bra strap is hanging out!" nice and loud and proud, i'm appreciative. My mom does this thing with her eyes like someone is behind me with a gun :O :O points at strapshrugs shoulder :O :O
ok mommy sorry you gave me boobs won't happen again.
My mom would always scold me for wearing white shirts in her house without a bra like it was a super big deal, like she didn't constantly look at my nipples for the first half of my life when I was a kid haha
Ugh - my mother used to tell me I should wear bandaids over my nips because they are always "on." They're nips, everybody has some, and no freaking way am I ripping bandaids off my damn nipples everyday.
Ugh yeah fuck that. I do use bandaids if I am going out and I am wearing a tight bodysuit or something like that, but usually my clothes are dark and loose, so I get away with no bra.
the bandaid is for when you're not wearing a bra so your nipples aren't poking out...so putting it on the inside of a bra makes no sense...also shirts move around..so if you put the bandaids on the shirt where your nipples would be, your nipples will just be somewhere else when you sit down or if the shirt wrinkles or whatever
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 01:30:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could see that being a bit weird for your dad and that might be the reason. My mom would occasionally just be chilling without a bra and it was not OK.
Yeah my step dad never even wears pants in the house. My mom always said it was different because she couldn't specifically see his dick through his underwear, which you totally could and it was generally way more unpleasant than my nips (though I might be biased)
I still don't wear a bra usually I don't wear white shirts and I don't live at home so she doesn't bitch at me anyomore :) haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't wear a bra
Outside of the house too? There is a special place in my heart for women that don't wear bras.
Oh yeah. I have to wear padded bars to work cause I serve food and I don't think most customers want to see my rock hard nips (I spend a lot of time in a cold kitchen). But not at work I don't fuck with that shit, or I wear those trendy little bralettes, which are basically cute adult training bras that prevent dangerous nip slips.
To be fair though, if I had tits like most of my friends I would probably have to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's ridiculous. I'm a little turned on if I see the side of a girl's bra sorority style through her shirt sleeve, but that's because I'm looking at the part that covers her boob and so is boob-like in shape (I assume that's why they intentionally wear those shirts with the huge sleeve holes). The strap doesn't do anything for me. I feel the same way about the top bit of my boxers showing. Not full on gangster sag, just a tiny bit.
"Your boxers are showing". Okay? Some piece of clothing that every dude wears, so it isn't like seeing a girl having a thong on. This is standard. It's attached to a naughty bits a a few inches away and so vaguely has something to do with sexualness in their mind I've gathered. I'm not going to sag on purpose but if you see the top centimeter of my boxers I'm not really going to care.
It is awkward if a couple 11 year old girls start giggling over it though. That's the only time I adjust it in a casual setting like that.
In highschool I told a girl in front of her that her tag from her bra was showing and everyone in the general vicinity looked at me like I was weird for pointing it out.
Maybe, perhaps they're trying to be sensitive to you. They don't know that your perfectly comfortable with the situation, not that it's the same thing but if my fly is down I don't want someone yelling it across the room.
That's fair. I can acknowledge that they're trying to be helpful and I appreciate that. It is usually girls who do it though, and usually I am friends with them as well. Most of them have worn tank tops or whatever and had their straps showing before, so it just seems out of place for them to suddenly care about that.
I myself don't really care if my bra is showingโbras are things! Everyone knows this! But some of my friends just don't like how it looks with their outfit and have been like, "dude, why didn't you tell me my strap was showing?" Can't please everyone?
Visible bra straps used to bother me when I was a teenager. My mom wisely told me, "better that they see your bra than your boobs." That advice has stuck with me.
Also if a girl adjusts anything but her bra, if my panties are riding up uncomfortably I'm going to try and discreetly remove them from my cavernous ass.
Horrible memory from middle school: I had stupid ridiculous wedgie, put my back to the lockers and nonchalantly pulled my underwear (through my jeans my hand wasn't down my pants or anything) to the slide a little so it would remove itself from my ass crack. I thought I was hiding it excellently until this gap toothed redneck boy I barely knew yells loudly "EWWWW SHE DUG HER BUTT!!!" I was fucking horrified.
I hate this so much. Not so much nowadays, but when I was younger (like, I dunno, 7-12 years?), I don't know why, but I always felt uncomfortable if my dick wasn't facing upward. If it was straight down, to the side, or in an even remotely horizontal direction, I felt physically uncomfortable.
I know some people must have noticed me "re-adjusting," and I knew they were a little disgusted or confused. Well, it was either committing this taboo sin or walking around like an awkward idiot for an hour.
OH HEY HARRY! whats going on! this is really crazy i just randomly found you! HA! well since were both here, in this dark decolate place, i thought id let you know i needed some help on this 15 Minute SFM animation i'm working on, nearly done too! but iv'e been trying to reach you for a while! ha! i was wondering if you wanted to make some custom music for the climax of the Movie! ive been trying to add you on steam but your a hard guy to add with your fame and all! but please let me know if your interested! you can add me as the same name on steam as i do on reddit: cornflakes23! haha for other people not understanding what it is i wrote, please go make some biscuits! you've all had a hard day and need to relieve some stress! LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST! hopefully that made you forget what i wrote previously.
attrox_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:27:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 36 and I still feel this way...
V-noir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had the exact same thing. I even thought at one moment, how will i ever be able to drive a car if I need to re-adjust so often.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That still bothers me if I'm chubbin. It slowly makes its way until it's normal to the ground and then I can't feel it as much so I slowly go soft which causes it to brush against my boxers as it goes down which stimulates me again in some sort of perpetual boner machine. It doesn't happen much any more because I'm no longer a horny teenager but every once in a while some girl is flirting and the cycle is initiated again.
Whenever I adjust my boobs in public, I feel like people start staring in hopes of a nip slip or a better angle.
adamd22 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:23:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'd do it out of curiosity more than anything. I'd probably do the same thing for a guy adjusting. It's probably because it's such a taboo act.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:41:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People arent ok when I have to literally adjust my boobs though. I have large boobs and if I go braless, they often sink below their designated location and the only way to get comfy again is to reach down my top and pull them back up. Thats not considered acceptable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I can see people whining about that unfortunately.
I'm a 44D/42DD. You just have to find clothes that allow for bralessness. The dresses I don't wear bras with are snug along the chest so it gives a teeny bit of support (I still usually have to adjust as seen above) and have thick enough fabric that my nips won't show through. I still wear a bra with the vast majority of my clothes.
Huh. The only dress I've ever been functionally able to go braless in was a renaissance festival style dress I borrowed from a friend a few years ago when we went to renfest (and I spent the entire day terrified my boobs were going to pop out lol). Maybe I will check to see if any of the clothes I have will allow free-boobin... I guess overall I just really prefer the shape bras give my boobs, nice round cleavage and such. I figure, what's the point of having awesome big boobs if you just let em flop around and look sad, you know?
Boobs and dicks are very different. And it's far more acceptable for a guy to fix an itch in his pants than for a girl to. But I still think if you're uncomfortable you should be able to take care of it with out being scrutinized.
If a girl adjusts her panties it's either automatically sexual or prude.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because people associate genitals as "germ factory's" and chests aren't, so unless you're going to wash your hands afterwards that's probably why they get upset.
It didn't bug me until about 10 seconds ago when I thought about it and realized what a huge double standard there is.
A woman is uncomfortable and pulls her chesticles out of her bra to set them better? No problem! A dude takes a long stride and adjusts the undergarments inconspicuously and someone happens to glance over and notice? Registered sex offender.
I think guys tend to get the worse of it but speaking from experience, people are not that cool on a girl adjusting the chesticles. You get a lot of disapproving looks and occassionally a lecture a few minutes to hours later from grandma
Well, I thought about it some more and realized its a non-issue. I grab my junk and physically relocate it often enough in public and I've never really gotten so much as a crooked glance. If I had my hands actually inside my pants it may be a different story, but its not as bad as my comment would have liked to make it out to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The stride and readjust is a combined manoeuvre. One doesn't happen without the other. The stride is to unstick and position the junk correctly, and the readjust just pulls the material out so it isn't all bunched up from the strategic side switch.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could grab my boobs at work. Under bra, the whole nine. It feels nice after a few hours of work and they're all sweaty and need a breather. I do that when I'm alone. I have to consciously make attempts not to do it at work. :(
Unfortunately, it means a lot to dudes who are looking on.
Yes. I should clarify. Keep it outside of clothes, please.
Rogork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me the actual adjusting part isn't as big (harhar) as what follows: whoever in front of you will naturally follow your hand movement to your crotch, and sometimes stay there a while, this almost always makes me uncomfortable especially around people I don't know that well.
So I totally did this in front of a friend/coworker recently. I did it without knowing they were there and they looked totally disgusted. Goodbye workplace sexual tension.
Just yesterday my nips were sooo itchy. I really wanted to give them a scratch through my bra, but I was right in public, with my mom. My mom who considers having a bra-strap showing a faux-pas. I wish there wasn't the possibility that a stranger or your mother would pitch a fit when you just itched your nips.
This needs more upvotes. Pants are uncomfortable. Bras are (probably, I assume) uncomfortable. Sometimes, you just need to make a quick shift and life gets 100% better.
This is something that should be understood. If a person is uncomfortable then why the hell not just adjust themselves. Everyone deserves to be comfortable. The only time it could get weird is if someone tried to "help" (lol slight lame joke at the end)
Afarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife gets PISSSSSSSED when I adjust myself in public, do whatcha gotta do.
Agree. But when you are a co-worker who does it constantly-there is an issue that needs to be addressed otherwise you run the risk of being referred to as either Itchy or Scratchy behind your back.
I'm like this with my friends, if I'm close with them I'll be like "I have a front wedgie, can you cover me?" And they'll stand in front of me while I fix it. Very helpful when in public
people are pretty accepting of caitlin jenner's adjustment
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you insist takes off pants and begins moving things around.
Kokana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have really large breasts. I cannot find a properly fitting bra to save my life and feel the need to adjust frequently. It can be embarrassing when I am noticeably caught doing so. I always try to play it off. But I do it way to much because I'm never comfortable for very long. I know some people see me and assume I am fluffing myself up but really its about feeling comfortable. Its because suck a constant frequent norm for me its hard for me not to be super self conscience.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes sort the pleat in my jeans out because it looks like I'm erect, but then I get the feeling it looks like I'm flicking a boner into my waistband. Catch 22 situation.
Exactly this. Women need to adjust their boobs because they're bouncy things that can get out of line. Men need to adjust their balls/dick either due to uncomfortable leg sticking or just a weird spot they're sitting in.
instructions unclear, arrested for public masturbation.
kilkil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a little surreal, because you expect to keep using the same pronouns as when you first met the person, but then you have to forcefully change it in your head.
Yes, but you have to pretend like you're disgusted when a hot girl in yoga pants adjusts her thong right in front of you and you're with your significant other. Yes, this happens a lot. I live in manhattan, yoga pants in manhattan are like jeans in the midwest.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:36:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the reasons why I hated dating girls as a teenager. It was the same shit every time. She'd look at me like 'Ewwwww he shuffled a bit.' Dating dudes was so much easier.
ORAMYOU ยท 3125 points ยท Posted at 17:11:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Riding on shopping carts in the parking lot. It's like a scooter with a basket on it.
I used to think people would judge me so I wouldn't do it, until one day I watched a 60+ year-old feller do it with no fucks given. I felt so inspired that I do it too now with no fucks given
roth403b ยท 757 points ยท Posted at 02:30:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My favorite walmart story:
I'm in my 20s. I ride the cart down the aisles, especially when empty (edit: the aisles, not my cart). I'm heading down the frozen aisle looking for pizza or something, ridding along at high speed to get to the other side.
At the end of the aisle comes a cart barreling around the corner. An older 60-70 year old man is ridding his cart at a good speed, and we both ride past the other cart having a stare down as we cross in opposite directions.
After that moment, as the carts keep on wheeling down, we both give a couple more kicks to gain speed. I get to the pizza section, he disappears around the corner. Never to meet on the racing track again.
enbentz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:17:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite story I've read on reddit of all time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite Walmart story: Wife and I shopping, I head down one aisle to grab some deodorant while she heads down the next to grab some conditioner or something. I hear this huge crash. I come around to look and the cart is on its side, contents spilled all over and the wife is sprawled out on the floor next to it.
She was riding and tipped it over backwards.
Sadly, not a single person was around to witness it.
I loved doing that as a kid, but stopped when I got too old for it to be cool, and was worried people would judge me.
Lately I've been trying to push my comfort zone a lot for personal growth, and after putting my groceries in my car I felt a strong urge to ride the cart back to the cart storage thing. Instantly the little voice in my head was telling me not to do it, that you're too old for this shit and people will stare.
I told that little fucker idgaf and rode that bitch all the way across the parking lot. So worth it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 60 year old mother does it every time I'm ever leaving a grocery store with her. It makes me see the young version of her come out and bring much joy in my life.
I push carts at a grocery store, and there is this one older guy who does thks everytime he's done. It's hilarious, you guys are a dying breed unfortunatly though ๐ช
awsome. im an able bodied man and I often use those motorized carts intended for the elderly/disabled/fat people. I often get yelled at it though. especially if I wear a helmet and cape, or if I hop off and make a mad dash to my car on foot.
I've had a few bad crashes in my days. one time I crashed into an isle of tomato sauce jars. I swear, the whole thing happened in slow motion. some old fuck cut me off. me "get the fuck out of the waaaaayyyy". I swerved right and headed straight into the Francisco Rinaldi at 1.5 mph.
The asshole manager told me to get out of the store. I was there to pick up my daughter who works there in the photo lab. So I had to wait outside in my car with my engine running. My car is a piece of shit and spues thick black exhaust. I just sat there and laughed as my smoke went into the store and everyone started chocking and colapsing.
haha
fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I do it in suit/tie after work like wheeee bitch I got that BOGO$WAG
EDUT: I'm being diwnvoted by SRS bc I almost murdered their leader at meet up Fri night .
Fuck them, I'm 36 with a head full of gray hair.
I pick up terminal velocity coming out of the store, steer by dragging my foot on the ground and hanging off the side (and I'm good at it, like I can fucking slalom) and whenever there's room I slide into parallel park next to the truck.
I swear that crack-heads begging on the side of the street don't get the dirty looks that mothers with kids give me.
That's usually when I lean over the handle bar and do Matt Hoffman's "Condor" trick while popping the front wheels off the ground...
Fuck 'em all, nobody's gonna harsh my mellow!
Amosqu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mostly do it inside the store, at least if something hits you it doesn't kill you.
Who knows, maybe people are starting to care more about what other people think of them.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Aryan shoe brakers.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just let the cart go until it stops naturally, since I haven't found a way to keep the weight in the front yet and that would probably flip the cart over completely.
I'm a cart pusher at a large retail chain, after we close and the parking lot is empty it's a free for all. Ride until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...
I don't even see kids doing it anymore. Every once in a while I think "Fuck it, I'm a grown ass man now. If I want to ride the shopping cart to my Toyota I will"
Que 26yo man of 6'4 riding shopping cart with angry expression
locaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of us!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
take comfort in the fact that my s/o does this in every. single. parking. lot.
I'm usually wearing heels, so I hang back and let him coast all the groceries to the car and start loading them in while I casually - and carefully - stroll through the lot. By the time I get to the car he's already bagged most of the shit so I can just get in and go home.
Ironically, I'm usually too heavy for the weight of the food in my cart to keep it from flipping back onto me. I will however, take every opportunity to ride things with wheels like road cases (which are a regular occurance in my line of work)
I work at a grocery store and I ride shopping carts/u-boats/the other smaller not shopping carts as much as possible. some of the smaller carts have u-boat style wheels (fixed in the middle and castors on the ends) which result in some crazy physics when riding. when I'm a customer on my way out, I run full speed into the parking lot on my way, jump on, and see how far I can go.
OMG I park in the back of the lot for 2 reasons, my damn TA's car door are huge, and the parking lot at wal-mart is on a down hill slope... ROLL FOR DAYSS
Ever learn how to brake steer rubbing your feet on the wheels? I'm ready to take on Pikes Peak!
I'm a grown man who has kids nearly as tall as me and the cart is heavy. If the slope is there and the coast is clear, game on. I'm all Tony Hawk with that bitch. A legend of the parking lot in the making here.
Sometimes these days I put my kids in the basket if we only got a few things and I push them as fast as I can run. It's as safe as anything else we do (bumper cars, bumper boats, riding bikes), and they fucking love it and laugh like crazy people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw a lady do it last week. My mom does it every trip and she's 57.
I still do it because I refuse to die and become a "grown up"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's true, so few people do this nowadays. I push carts at a busy grocery store and I only see a couple people do this per shift. Interesting enough I've noticed that most of the people that do are either less than 20 years old or more than 50.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In college this was my preferred method of departing the grocery store.
Now I live in a place where there's an enormous chance that somebody I work with will recognize me and call me out for being unprofessional in public.
28yo, did it two days ago. Stay strong cart rider.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with my three kids hanging onto the basket. I get dirty looks as I'm racing down the parking lot with 3 kids screaming, "Faster, dad! Faster!".
I witnessed an older couple (probably in their 70's) racing their carts down the parking lot at Walmart, giggling like little kids the whole way. Really made me happy for the rest of the night.
I do it until I hit a bump and pop a cart wheely, almost crushing myself under the cart. Then I serious the fuck up and walk like an adult, blushing and hoping nobody saw.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:30:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's REALLY nice when you find a cart with bald tires at Walmart. I'll fucking race through there, whip the back end and slide on my shoes (some Laurens slip ons with no tread left). I don't give a fuck what people think (except some women).
I'm a cart drifting master. What embarrasses me is that I sometimes do sound effects and don't realize for a while. By then, i don't know how long I've been making noises for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just had the rare opportunity to do this for maybe 800 feet yesterday (I guess like 250 meters if I were pretty much anywhere else) and it was joyous!
I'm in my late thirties... totally got some intense, motion-blurred glares from other adult parkers.
xj4me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw em. I'm 30 and do this. Not our fault everyone is so jaded
If I'm not still doing this by 40 I'll be completely ashamed of myself.
Though you really need to make sure that front is weighed down, I still seem to have not learned this.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 38. My Costco parking lot is all down hill. Ballin' out with $200 bucks worth of shit I don't need in the cart and a giant thing of toilet paper that I came for.
FunMop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fudge, Packer?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't do this anymore, i tip the trolley over :(
My brother and I were almost irish twins so it didn't. Plus, two toddlers wouldn't balance out an adult man unless the toddlers were obese. Do you think toddlers weigh 80+ pounds?
As a guy who works at a grocery store, don't do this if the cart is empty, those things will capsize and you could get hurt. And don't do it if you're fat, the carts aren't meant to be used that way and they can and will get damaged. Also, unless you're younger than 4, don't ride in the cart where food goes, that really damages the carts and I will make fun of/yell at you for it.
I used to work at albertsons and the coolest motherfucker I've ever encountered there rode his cart around the whole store the whole time like that.... with a case of beer... every time. And he was like 50
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the parking lot? I do this in the store sometimes.
The grocery stores where I live are too crowded to ride the carts like scooters, but I love myself a good power slide around a corner.
Zedyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Memories of the CKY movies...
h0w1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
25 year old male here. All of my grocery shopping is wondrously concluded by a race to my car on a cart. Instead of worrying about how my actions are perceived by others in a negative sense, I only hope it inspires to revel in those little things that make them happy.
If you want to have a lot of fun with a cart, grab the front and push it backwards, then kick off a bit at an angle, this will cause the cart to spin around really fast and start going forwards while you are flying backwards. 10/10
I recommend having a bit of weight in the cart before trying this.
I ALWAYS do this at Costco because they have huge heavy carts that never tip and smooth wide long aisles where you don't have to worry about people popping out of nowhere. Also necessary for the long journey across their massive parking lot to the car.
I used to do this all the time because a.) it's fun and b.) it embarrasses the shit out of my and kids. I can't do it anymore because I sustained some pretty massive injuries during a seizure about a year ago. I can't take the risk of injuring one of my shoulders or back.
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you push yourself up on your hands while it's gliding, and dangle your feet just above the wheels, you can selectively push your L or R foot down on a wheel to alter the direction of the cart. Extra effective if you are heading on a slight downslope.
gunnbr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially unacceptable? I do it all the time!!
I usually hang on the handlebars and drag me feet along the floor. One time I used a wrong type of cart and it tipped over. Broke a front tooth and gave me nosebleed
I was riding down an aisle with a cart in IKEA. A worker was walking by and I got embarassed so I stopped, but he chuckled and said, "Is that all you got? Go faster."
I was killing time one day in the warehouse at Ikea, wandering around aimlessly like a lost little child.
I bumped into one of those flatop shopping carts and noticed how well it tracked. Hopped on and gave it a test push... fantastic.
Went for a zip across the warehouse, exhilarating. I suck at skateboarding but this was awesome. Another guy saw me do it, hopped on one too. Pretty soon there were half a dozen of us zipping around the warehouse straight up Tony Hawk.
Nobody stopped us. Kept it up until she was done. Best Ikea trip ever. Of all time.
I turned into an aisle right behind a guy who thought it was empty and he did this. It made me smile knowing he probably didn't know I was there. That sentence came out a lot creepier than I thought it would.
icenino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tokyo Thrift
AH17708 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it all the time fuck the world. I did it at Costco once in the long flat bed cart and I spun out of control and hit a 360 in the lot...a few people laughed ..I hopped back on and continued to kick push all the way to car
My boyfriend does it. I will sort of do it for a few seconds but I'm clumsy and afraid of either ramming a car or somehow managing to flip my cart and eat shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The flatbeds at IKEA are the most amazing ride there is. Combine those with a smooth polished concrete floor and a large warehouse area and you should fully expect to see grown men getting their carts up to 30 mph.
I do this all the time. I used to do it when I worked in a shop. Customers used to threaten to complain about me being unprofessional, but by the time I had been there a month I was the hardest working employee and I hated my job. My boss knew both of those things so I knew I wouldn't get in trouble for doing something to brighten my day a little bit. Go ahead and complain you fuck, people like you are the reason I'm whizzing about on a trolley in the first place.
A lot more unacceptable than most of what I've seen in this thread, but euthanasia. I'd even go so far as to say that the way we treat terminally ill patients and especially the elderly can be downright inhumane.
I've seen a relative go from a completely functional human being to nursing home resident with late-stage Alzheimer's. I can think of few things more cruel than that. With no hesitation, I'd rather die than slowly lose what makes me a person. And the worst thing is, they know they are losing something each and every day.
And then we have patients that are 100% mentally intact, but would rather die with dignity than live through invasive surgery after invasive surgery while living the last years of their life in a hospital bed. And we make them suffer for it. Passive euthanasia is incredibly cruel in its own way. Turning off feeding tubes to watch someone slowly starve to death is downright barbaric.
Everyone should have the right to die with dignity, by their choice and without pain.
In middle school a classmate of ours was diagnosed with an incredibly rare and violent form of leukemia. In literally 2 weeks, he went from being a healthy, albeit short and shrimpy 11 year old, to being emaciated and too weak to even talk. The third and last week, the doctors induced him into a coma so he could die painlessly. Being awake was too excruciating for him, and for his mother to watch. For a week, he lied there, dead but his heart still beating, until finally the cancer squashed him out of existence. His mother had to look at a living corpse, day in, day out, for a week.
Had euthanasia been illegal, he'd have been given a shot, and spent his final moments in his mother's arms, saying goodbye, reminiscing about happier times, or perhaps listening to his favorite song, or watching a favorite film. Who knows.
But instead he was knocked out and left to die.
It was the best they could do, the kindest fate for him, but it was still cruel. Fuck those who are against euthanasia. I pray they never have to see a dying child.
Actually, I'm told that shots are not the way to go.
Supposedly, the best thing is nitrogen asphyxiation. Your body actually can't measure how much oxygen you have, only the CO2 buildup in your blood. That's what triggers your breathing reflex. So if you replace the oxygen in the air with nitrogen (which is cheap and legal), you can just keep breathing until you start to lose consciousness, at which point either you'll flip out and change your mind or just relax and fall asleep.
You're correct, but it only works with inert gases. Helium, pure oxygen I believe has the same effect, nitrogen as you said.
I believe it's that the molecules still bind with our blood just like a normal mix of air molecules would, but they don't provide you with what you need to actually sustain yourself. I think with things like Carbon Monoxide these molecules even take priority over Oxygen. So it won't be like suffocating where there's a distinct lack of air or feelings like that, you'll just have lower brain functioning like you're in a haze until you eventually pass out and die.
Take it with a grain of salt, I'm not a biochemist or anything like that so I might be wrong on a specific point here or there, but the jist is accurate.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why don't they use this for death penalty inmates, then?
That's stupid. Being a doctor should not require you to operate by a given set of ethics, because in reality, none of them actually do. They're all individuals, and I doubt that all of them find the horrors of botched lethal injections preferable to gentler asphyxiation.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:40:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ethical problem is with killing a person (in particular against their will), not with the method.
and
Being a doctor should not require you to operate by a given set of ethics
So you think that doctors having to swear not to harm people is "nonsense"?
Personally I'd rather doctors not be allowed to make decisions like that based on personal opinion. They have a job to do that requires them to be neutral, so following that code of ethics is absolutely essential.
That oath doesn't actually do anything. It's air. The doctors choose not to hurt people.
People do what they want regardless of law, oath, or edict. I could write an essay on this, but my main point is that there is no such thing as the Hippocratic Oath out there. There are only the thousands of Hippocratic Oaths that exist in the heads of the doctors who uttered certain words, and they're all different oaths, and they're all just words.
Define harm. Is giving someone antibiotics when they don't need them considered harm? Found a grey area already. Doctors are divided over it. How about something which is asked for? Is it harmful to fill a request for, say, assisted suicide? Doctors make that call in their own heads. The oath only stops doctors from progressing ethically.
Define "do." Is it against the oath to LET harm be done? You can't answer. Thousands of doctors around the world are the ones who can answer, and they all answer differently. Expecting them to give you the same copy/paste answer so that you feel safe is insane. They're people, not products.
As a nurse, a lot of elderly people and overly concerned family will continue to insist that "everything be done" for a patient with a terminal diagnosis. Hospice is a wonderful thing that is about improving quality of life in a patient's final days, weeks, months and at times years. The problem is that many patients shun hospice services early on in a terminal diagnosis and only go on the service in their final days or hours. Studies show that early adopters of hospice live longer and with a better quality of life than those that continue to pursue curative treatment. I certainly understand your sentiment in the matter, what happened to your classmate was horrible.
That's why I have a living will that instructs my husband and family that I don't wish to be kept alive on life support, if there's no hope. He's aware of all of my wishes (and so are the next of kin after him, should we both be in a car accident or something).
Living wills are easy to fill out and could spare so much pain for loved ones.
Thank you for your condolences. He didn't deserve to die like that. As for hospice care, I've no doubt it's a great thing when necessary, but are you suggesting that it's an alternative to euthanasia, or merely that it's an option that could make many deaths far easier if people were to face the truth about a terminal illness?
That is is an option that could help ease the transition if people are willing to face the truth. My aunts mother was diagnosed with an I operable cancer on her spine. She went on hospice immediately, and ended up surviving for almost 5 years. During that time they had the full support of the hospice nurses and aides who can to help her multiple times a week. Her quality of life was very good, and most days you couldn't tell that she had a terminal condition. She was also an RN. There is an interesting article called "How Doctors Die" that could apply to a lot of health care workers in general. It basically states that when faced with a terminal illness, they are educated enough about the disease process to know when to stop fighting and accept comfort measures.
dtopps ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:29:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you completely on this.
I watched my grandmother suffer with it over the course of a couple of years and it still haunts me.
She asked me on so many occasions to shoot and poison her so she didn't have to keep suffering. She'd always been religious and she would lie in bed crying trying to work out what she'd done wrong for god to be punishing her so much. How do we let humans go through that?
For the last few year or so she had zero quality of life, she was back and forth between her care home and the hospital, she was unable to leave bed unaided, and only had the energy so sit in a chair for a half hour or so. All the music, movies and TV shows she'd loved before were nothing to her any more, there was no pleasure in anything.
"I've seen a relative go from a completely functional human being to nursing home resident with late-stage Alzheimer's. I can think of few things more cruel than that. With no hesitation, I'd rather die than slowly lose what makes me a person. And the worst thing is, they know they are losing something each and every day."
This, so much this!
I had to watch my beloved grandmother waste away due to Alzheimer's. She would have been so ashamed of some of the things she said/did.
I don't want to have to put my family through the same thing, but chances are that I will, since Alzheimer's is a heritable illness.
I'd rather fulfil my bucket list after being diagnosed with such an illness, and then die with dignity of my own volition.
Agreed. I used to go to work with my mum at a nursing home when I was little. Having seen people in various stages of old age it's cruel to keep them alive pumped full of drugs and being force feed, plus the care costs an absolute fortune which is a strain in the families. My grandfather in his last two years had atrophy of his muscles so he couldn't even move really. He didn't recognise anymore or have pleasure in his life. He was a shell, of a person having a miserable existence.
If I start to go mentally or physically I'm going to overdose and hopefully die peacefully in my sleep or take up Euthanasia options if they are in effect at the time. I don't want to be starved or slowly fall to pieces
I've been thinking about this a lot lately (not depressed or anything like that, just find it interesting) and I pretty much agree with you on this. I think there's a difference between people who are going through depression and want to end it versus people with physical ailments. I guess I feel that those with depression could potentially get out of it while those with a terminal illness can not, but at the same time I haven't been in either position so who am I to play God? Just something I've been thinking about as of late.
Plasmos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WA state has Kevorkian laws in place that if you have a terminal illness you can ask for professional euthanasia and doctors cannot refuse.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:47:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WA and OR, actually. I voted for it in both states - twice in Oregon because of religious groups trying to get voters to "take it back". However, there are strict restrictions in the "death with dignity" laws. For one, your doctors have to agree that you have six months or less left to live, and that those six months will consist of virtually nothing but suffering and pain. The doctors can refuse right up to that point. Also, these aren't Kevorkian laws; the doctors prescribe the patient a pill and the patient has to be able to take the pill themselves without assistance. The doctor is not allowed to administer the medication directly in any way.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It benefits for-profit hospitals if they keep people alive. Hospital bills stack up, making them more rich by doing things people don't actually need.
On a related note: Fuck the ambulance companies. All of them.
We're expensive? Some of them are fairly shady, but that's usually how management runs the business and treats their employees. I doubt that is what they are talking about.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:03:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have used ambulance/ paramedic services in my town a few times.
It is public, belongs to the city.
The first time they came to my home and advised me to actually go to the hospital with our car, they say there was no rush and it would save the fee. The second my son broke a bone and they came to school, this time they actually took him to the hospital. Both times they were super courteous, competent and efficient.
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:59 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not the case in many places
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:44 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was not saying it was. I was pointing to the fact that it is public, and works very well.
I totally agree. I just lost my Godfather/uncle to Alzheimer's after a decade long battle. His and my mom's sister is now at end stage, and my mom is on her 3rd year, so I know what the future holds. If euthanasia was legal in the country where my mom lives, she would definitely choose to go before the disease takes over. Watching someone live at the end stage year after year as they live their 2-3 minute memory cycle is terrible!
I'm probably way too late on this but there's a documentary on assisted suicide called How to Die in Oregon and it's incredible movie that really opened my eyes on the subject. I think it still might be on Netflix
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do sort of agree with this, but there are definitely reasons why it isn't legal.
I think the problem is that there will be famillys that pressure their elderly into euthanasia because they have their eye on the inheritence.
Ta11ow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's already being done, euthanasia or no, there are things one can do in order to shorten people's lives at the cost of a lower quality of life for them.
It being legal won't change much, in truth.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, it would be a lot easier to apply that pressure if there was an easy, legal and low effort way of euthinasia.
I honestly don't know where I stand on this issue, I've never suffered depression in my life and had no contact with people who want to kill themselves thankfully.
kilkil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely agree with this. I mean, if there's literally nothing but pain in your foreseeable future, then isn't it kind of justified? I'd rather not die at all, but if I had to, I'd probably minimize pain at least.
firala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the problem that most people don't have the ability to choose to shut off the machines at that point anymore and families keep them around?
In Germany doctors can't give "Sterbehilfe" (lit. dying help) unless in very specific circumstances. If someone is kept alive artificially they'd need written consent of the person himself or someone close if he can't give it. I've heard of many cases where the family wasn't ready to let go so they kept their spouses/fathers/... around for much longer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agree, in the same boat with my grandma now. :/
This is what I was expecting to find at the top. My personal experience of course shapes my view on the subject, however, it's still astonishing that we take away free will and dignity from those that are in extreme pain, and mental deterioration.
imjohnk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch the Dutch documentary called "Nachtvlinder", I think you can watch it with English subtitles as well. It's about a girl who has the same disease as her mother what means she won't get really old. At age 26, she got in hospital but she didn't want to be remembered as an ill person because her disease would only get worse. So she decided to throw one last party for all her friends and then do euthanisia. It's a really beautiful documentary and one of the most popular in The Netherlands.
gtkrug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My personal experience with this is a father with late stage lewy body dementia. The worst part is that my father knew how bad it would get when he got the diagnosis three years ago, and he had basically told the family he was going to take his own life before it got to the point where he no longer had the ability to chose for himself, but these terrible diseases can advance more rapidly then you expect, and he lost the ability to decide for himself.
I feel like when the diagnosis is made for these degenerative mental illnesses, the patient should be allowed to specify the point when they want their life terminated. His life is at the point where I just hope something else accelerates his death, because his life is just one of pain, terror, confusion, and depression. Were I to get a similar diagnosis in my life, I wouldn't risk waiting a day as his life seems like pure and unrelenting torture.
He has a living will, do not resuscitate, no feeding tubes, and all of that, but all of that barely helps to accelerate passing with late stage dementia/alzheimer's. Even if you tried to starve yourself to death, you will probably fail just because you won't realize that was what you were trying to do in a day or two.
(edit: This is the same disease Robin Williams was diagnosed with briefly before he committed suicide, and I found myself thinking how smart he was to do it. I'm sure his lifelong battle with depression made the immediacy of his decision easier, but he saved himself and his family untold amounts of pain and suffering with his decision.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was some weird mental compartmentalization that lets people say they're lovingly putting their dogs down to ease their suffering, but also allows them to absolutely refuse doing the same for family members.
I'll take it to the next step. I think parents should have the option to euthanize special needs. It's an overall burden to the family and the individual. Let the controversy begin!
Talking about signs of these things in the womb. I don't think you can diagnose ADHD to a fetus. I meant more of abortions, not actually killing alive people with special needs.
that's already a thing. plenty of people abort after finding out their fetus had down's.....not sure why you think this is a hugely controvertial opinion
Feel free to bring this subject up at your next get together or at work. It's definitely controversial. Abortion is a controversial topic let alone aborting fetus's because of characteristics.
Other people not drinking. I have a few friends who for their own reasons dont drink and every time we are out they have so many people astounded that they dont drink and trying to get them to drink.
gmessad ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:54:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate this. If someone does not drink, I find it weird when people don't just let it go. They can't just trust that I have my reasons. Write out a list of the pros and cons of consuming alcohol. Why do I need an "excuse?"
[deleted] ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 02:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my girlfriend both don't drink by choice. She likes that I don't because she doesn't like being around drunk people, which is why she won't drink. I just don't enjoy being drunk so I don't do it, but I'm around my drink friends at parties and I don't care. But people bother us about it all the time. I almost punched a kid in the face before he stopped offering. It's not that I'm against it he was just so annoying.
My wife and I also don't drink, and never have. It's good to be able to relate to people who deal with annoying buttholes like we do. Good on ya.
venomae ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:04:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, we have the same thing. I cant even count the amount of times I have been offered that someone will "teach me how to drink" cause obviously I dont know that if I'm not a borderline alcoholic.
I know exactly how you both feel and its annoying as fuck. Next time you're out one of you tells the person you're allergic, and the other has Alcohol Flush Syndrome. And that's what drew you to each other, that should get them off your back.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:48:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like being honest. Sometimes I think people attach a stigma to alcohol and they feel that if I'm not drinking then that must mean that everyone else who is drunk is doing something wrong. People don't like being wrong but I wish they understood it's okay to drink and it's also okay not to.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:58:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that. She doesn't mind buzzed people but she has bad anxiety. I don't like being buzzed either. I've never been DRUNK but I've never had a positive experience with alcohol either. Nothing terrible I just don't enjoy myself.
Nope, you're either stone cold sober or black out wasted. There is no in between.
Iouis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:38:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/s ?
bbluech ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:58:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This! Both my parents are alcoholics (both sober for 10+ years before I was born) but like no way am I gonna drink because I'm genetically predisposed to being an alcoholic. Still awkward as hell at parties though.
I don't know, I mean between the two it means he's very sedentary, and he looks like an alcoholic with a beer gut and a meth addict with no teeth because they rotted out from his habit. He's 34. All that sugar might be a big problem down the road.
Still probably better than alcoholism, but definitely dangerous.
I don't drink. Every time I am at a party my friends ask if I want some alcohol, and when I resfuse, they usually shout something like "more for us!" and keep on drinking them down.
I also happen to DD a lot.
cadraig ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:32:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. This infuriates me. I like drinking, but some nights I just don't feel like it. Also, I have several friends who have struggled with alcoholism or who just don't like being drunk, and they have every right not to drink but to still come out and be sociable. It's a huge sign of immaturity and insensitivity when people can't respect that.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:41:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who try to get people to drink who are not drinking for ANY reason, be it partied hard the night before or swore it off for the rest of my life so I don't drink myself to death, are horrible people straight up. It's a really heated topic, leave it the fuck alone.
Yes! Wish people would stop hounding me. I have AIH (autoimmune hepatitis) so I can't really drink. Still do on the odd celebration, though. But even AFTER I tell someone that and they're like "yeah naaaaah come on have a drink, I'll buy you one" I'm just like... seriously? You 'buying' makes no difference. You're seriously an idiot. End conversation here and don't make friends with this person.
On the other hand, I'm usually the designated driver which is awesome and my good friends really appreciate it.
I also have AIH, and I didn't drink before i knew I even had it. People would never stop telling me "com on have a drink". Or "Don't be a pussy and drink". Then I got AIH and it all stoped. Really I need to have a condition for you to stop?
The why question should be taboo, It can be a really personal thing.
Yeah, I know what you mean! However, for me, even after I tell people I have AIH (not just that, but actually explain what it means) they're like "...soooooo you sure you don't want a drink?". Mate, what on earth do you think? With the exception of my closest friends who completely understand and then have my back when I'm dealing with said idiots haha.
Sometimes I wish there wasn't such a big drinking culture in Australia. It's seriously a massive problem but not many people 'get' that.
Drunk people are fucking hilarious as long as they're not in a place that I am responsible for cleaning.
Although if someone is drunk at my drive-thru window, I get mad. I've had several family members hit or killed by drunk drivers, and I'll tell my manager to call the damn cops if the driver isn't sober. Stupid fucking college brats.
Can you explain why drinkers would have an issue because of that?
bbrpst ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:29:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not him but can give you my perspective.
Sometimes you just wanna let loose and drink and have fun.
Sometimes (maybe even often) you do some stupid stuff, and what you least want is someone who was sober and watched to rub it in your face the days after.
I respect people who don't drink, whatever they want is fine to me, but i probably wouldn't invite them to a party if the intention was to drink.
I work in a bar, and it's really frustrating how sometimes people just don't understand when a staff member doesn't drink. For whatever reasons - they're on medication, they're hungover, they quit drinking, they don't like drinking. It doesn't matter. While I love the people I work with, there is a real big culture of binge drinking and as someone who is trying to cut back on drinking for my mental and physical health, it makes it really hard to stay on track when people are shoving tequila shots in your face and giving you shit for turning down a drink.
I'm a recovering alcoholic and I appreciate the normies like you who don't act aghast at my non-drinking habits. The thing is, I don't abstain from drinking because drinking was a ton of fun and I hate good times. I don't drink because drinking for me is terrible suffering. It's a bad experience for me and everyone around me. I don't get offended by people drinking around me. I think it's great that others can enjoy drinking. I can't and that's fine with me. I'm a happy sober person and a miserable drunk.
Cogeno ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:02:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend like this. I usually drive because buses turn to shit past 11PM, Uber surge pricing occasionally gets out of hand, and riding in a normal taxi around here usually has me making deals with God just in case.
When I go out, I tend to keep the alcohol to a minimum for the above reason. Even after explaining that, he insists on buying me drinks (including hard liquor).
Me an my boyfriend avoid drinking. His is a health concern slash not a huge fan of the expense and feeling thing, mine is a alcohol gives me cysts and the runs slash not a huge fan of the expense and feeling thing.
It's funny cause before we dated I tried getting him drunk. Now that we're dating he taught me you can actually refuse to do something you don't enjoy. So we don't.
gazwel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scotland is bad for this.
TAKE A DRINK! TAKE A DRINK!
emu90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, this as annoying. I drink now and then, but I've never been drunk. I had friends who told me that they don't feel like they know me because they've never seen me drunk. Haven't talked to them in years.
I also feel bad when people I'm with decline to drink and everyone grills them about it, and offers to buy them drinks. People have their own reasons, and we should respect that.
It's probably a combination of trying to make sure they're having a good time, and jealousy.
When I was 16, and my best friend started smoking and drinking, he said to me "man, DukeOfDownvotes, we're such good friends. Imagine how much closer we'd be if you weren't straight edge." What a prick. Imagine how close we'd be if you didn't put shit like weed and booze before friendship. We're still friends, but it's never been the same after he said that.
It's a fucking nightmare! As someone who gave up drinking a couple years ago, I can relate. I get all sorts of obnoxious questions, the latest being, "Why? Are you trying to lose weight?" Um, no. I'm clearly snacking on fries right now. Does that mean you're trying to gain weight by drinking?
The other annoying thing is when people apologize for drinking around me, and they do it in a weird way that sounds like they're trying to justify drinking, even though I never mention it.
"Hey, do you mind if I have a drink?"
"What? Of course not. Do whatever you want. "
"I'm sorry. It's just...I just really like to have a drink with dinner."
"Then have a drink with dinner. "
"I hope it's okay...I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. "
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I'LL POUR YOUR DRINK MYSELF."
Yea every time I'm with people who drink, they get plastered and say shit they probably shouldn't have said and wouldn't have said if they were sober. I'm sitting here like, awesome, I really didn't need to know that about you, but thanks for that....
as someone who doesn't like drinking(doesn't taste good) i'm trying to be more vocal about not drinking, but it's sometimes difficult cos i don't want to be the buzzkill
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love teetotallers, they sometimes drive me home if I buy them a few soft drinks.
I think people don't like what they can't understand and they don't know it, like I don't fully understand the aversion to drinking, but it's their choice I figure maybe they just saw alcoholics in their family or they do it for health reasons or maybe they just experience it differently to normal people. Either way it's fair enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend doesn't drink and it's because of a medical issue. It winds me up that she has to tell people that to stop them practically pouring drinks down her throat.
Why the fuck should she have to tell you anything about her medical history? A simple "no thank you" is fine in any other situation but people are so weird about alcohol.
I can only imagine how hard it must be if you are recovering alcoholic. The temptation would be hard enough to resist without people buying them for you even though you said no!
I understand wanting to be polite and generous but there is a point at which you've gone too far and it becomes quite rude imo.
My biggest problem with people who don't drink is that Roose Bolton says he doesn't drink, right before he spoilerspoilerspoilerspoiler
However, if you are a recovering alcoholic and don't plan on spoilerspoilerspoiler then I have no problem with it.
I went from being a pretty big, messy, drinker to stopping last year. I got tired of not being able to stop, losing nights to blacking out, offending people, waking up worried I'd offended people, spending way too much money on alcohol without memory of doing so and the long, day killing hangovers.
Every time I hang out with people, the first question, before "how are you?" is "you still not drinking?" It is fucking irritating. And then someone always starts trying to pressure me to drink. This is why I've more or less stopped going out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it just doesn't make sense... going to a bar and not drinking.... It'd be like...
I used to drink really heavily and pretty often, but once I got to about 18 I just decided that I didn't like my lack of control when I was drunk etc and so decided to stop getting drunk but will still have a couple drink. Now 4 years later some of my friends still try to convince me to get drunk every single night we go out.
I don't go out to bars unless I'm the designated driver. That way I can use that as an excuse instead of trying to argue with drunk people. My close friends don't have a problem with it thankfully. In fact, when I DD for them, they get drunk and tell me how awesome I am and buy me food.
this was my entire 20s. every time i met new people or went out for a work function, it was a good 5 minute conversation on how i don't drink and don't i want to and they feel bad that i don't drink. and then i feel bad cause they probably think i'm judging them or looking down on them but its not that - my body just doesn't handle alcohol that well.
My friend recently stopped drinking all together, and even though hes a great drinking partner and we have had great times drinking together, I am happy for him I kind of wish I had his discipline but hes still fun and will still go out and see a band with us and we pretty much have a permanent DD, haha!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that doesn't drink and I accept that but he does it for the dumbest reason. He said he doesn't because his father is an angry drunk which therefore would make him an angry drunk. That logic... I would be understanding if he knew he becomes violent when drunk but I've know him since like 4th grade so I know he's never been drunk and he's very laid back to begin with.
devries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For many, participation in a culture--especially a drug-culture (like drinking alcohol or smoking weed, etc.)--is a strong litmus test for group solidarity in much the same way that not, say, "smoking the peace pipe around the natives" is around the campfire, literally and figuratively.
A lot of norms are packed into particpating in a drug culture; for many, explicit rejection of the drug offered ("let's get a beer together!") is taken to be an implicit rejection of them, their hobbies, values, etc. It's sad, but there are solid socio-cultural reasons why people are so offended or taken aback when others don't drink. It's like being in the Bible-Belt and saying to a Baptist, "I'll go to church with you, I guess, but I'm an atheist."
My roommate is like this. He doesn't drink or do any drugs but we are friends with many people who do both. It's a constant struggle to remind them that while my roommate is coming to this party with us, he won't be drinking and nothing will convince him to do otherwise. We've had friends cut out of our circle because they've tried tricking him into drinking alcohol more than a few times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your post gave me a headache.
Almost drives me to drink.
The reason I don't drink, is because I don't like anything I have tasted before. I don't find it annoying when somebody tries to make me drink, only if it is a drink I haven't tasted before. Because I'm willing to try new things, as long as I don't have to pay for it.
I know there are legitimate reasons not to drink, but I can't help but feel paranoid around those people. It's weird when everyone's not at the same level of awareness/sobriety/drunkenness and a select few can remember everything with perfect recall...
Calling someone the next day after a date. I always thought the two day rule was stupid, if you like someone call them and ask them out again don't play "games" with people.
Soapuel ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 02:35:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait that's a thing? That doesn't make any sense!!!
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 03:18:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah there are all kinds of rules. There was even a very popular book about it. Don't call him he has to call you, call after three days, don't answer his first call, blahblahblah...it's really quite pathetic.
Soapuel ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:37:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is even the point of that? If anything, wouldn't that distance the relationship between the two people?
Every generation has a bit of courting to get through, standard "guidelines" to use to feel a bit more comfortable, and it's all fucking stupid.
Soapuel ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:48:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. It doesn't make any sense at all.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:43:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just stupid girly shit for teenagers. The idea is that you establish some sort of dominance and make him work for it. Make yourself seem mysterious or like you could care less, and that he has to pursue you. It's not really for normal people more for stupid idiots.
If I go on a date with someone and they make it clear they couldn't (You meant couldn't right?) care less about me/a second date then there isn't a second date.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes yes couldn't my bad I always get on people for that and of course I say it without thinking. Yeah like I said I think, "the rules" were more of a highschool gimmick but I knew girls who followed them for sure.
Because. Some women (and men, most often the former) are clingy. We live in a day and age where receiving texts or calls from someone is forced communication because everyone is inseparable from cell phones these days. This can be suffocating. It's a hard rule of thumb for making a good first impressions amongst those who may be prone to arousing feelings of suffocation in the other party. And in part courtesy.
Speaking of unpopular opinions, as a young man who often talks about this with other young men, I feel like dudes are actually the clingier sex.
jmn700 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:23:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think its more pathetic that people play these games and think they have something to win. I have lost my interests few times, because of these games. If you are hard to deal with before we are actually dating, why should I even bother to date you?
that's why in a paradoxal way I like those games. Weeds some of the shitty ones out I would not like to date anyways.
jmn700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but also there are some good guys and girls who don't like those games, but they still play because they think that's the we it should be. But yeah, otherwise it does weed some unwanted company.
That's gone this is the 21st century, it's texting now. Usually the one who got asked out is supposed to text the next day and say "I had a great time" or something along those lines.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:28:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually supposed to be a three day rule. I saw a comment in a thread a few weeks ago about a guy who started dating a sweet Asian girl who misunderstood the rule, leading to her waiting to text back for three days for every single message. The "rule" is that you wait three days to call after the first date so you don't seem desperate.
_Bones ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:20:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually text a little while after the first date, maybe an hour or so, and say some relatively inoffensive thing like "hey I had a good time tonight" or whatever. Or at least the next day. No reason to put it off like you're scared or something.
When they do stop, you have found someone who isn't dictated by the social norms or things that aren't taboo. IMHO you have found someone who matches you.
_Bones ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do if you date people who are at least as mature as you are. The shit I put up with being 26 and in college...
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Honestly in the age of smartphones, texting and 24/7 connectivity if you waited 3 days to ask me out again I would have already assumed you're not interested.
My own personal rule: if there was an undeniable, amazing spark send a 'I had a great time' text a few hours later. Otherwise, check in tomorrow lunchtime. Also, am a girl. I have no qualms about doing the asking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:30 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imo it's just media clickbait bullshit or the physical equivalent that rubs off on young minds.
This "rule" is much older than clickbait
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:45:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancรฉ asked me out for a second date not even an hour after our first date. Made me all happy and rainbows inside, it did :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd think they're doing Greatsh.
I regret nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just a dorky Canadian.
Saliiim ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:14:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I waited a week, mostly because I was nervous as fuck and was waiting for her to text me...
Turns out she was as, if not more, nervous than me and waiting for me to text.
FUCKING TEXT THEM IF YOU LIKE THEM.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this one. As a girl who recently went on a date with an old friend, you can't imagine how much of a confidence boost you get when the guy asks right before you get dropped off home if you are interested in another date.
Strelox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that rule was for after you got their number originally. Don't want to seem too super needy.. now do we?
I don't think there's anything wrong with contacting the person the next day, but I think the cultural expectation of a three-day wait is a good idea. Sometimes it's difficult to honestly evaluate your feelings immediately after a date (especially if drinking is involved!), and knowing you have a buffer before the other person gives up on you gives you that space.
It can keep you from getting to obsessive about a relationship too quickly as well.
That said, perhaps the best aspect of the expectation that you'll wait a couple days is that it lets you make a strong statement by contacting them sooner.
YES!! my friend is the worst with this, maybe that's why shes never been in a relationship even though shes hot and smart and likes sports, I see how someone could fall in love with her but when shes with a guy shes not her self and she plays all these games I'm like just call him and ask him out, tell him your interested, at least you'll find out if he likes you too the worst that can happen is he says no or something mean and then you know not to waste your time, but she'll spend weeks torturing herself over a guy hoping he will call or wondering when or what to say if she calls him, I've always been bold with my relationships and it seems to work out better
The only people being bold doesn't work with aren't people you really want to date any way, at least in my experience. If someone is put off by you telling them that you are interested in dating them they either 1.) don't feel the same way
2.) still enjoy those petty games
I think there's actually a balance to be found in these games/rules of courtship. Don't use them and you may be missing a chance to create more excitement and attraction in the relationship, but get too adamant with them and you could end up frustrating and driving away the other person.
Ahhh, so naive. It's not a cultural thing. It's a biological thing. Guys need to not appear desperate, and waiting a few days to call her again is one way to do that. For whatever reason, women want what they can't have. If you're clearly already whipped after one date, she's going to lose interest. .38 Special may have been a bit of a cheesy band, but one of their songs has some very sage advice tucked away in the lyrics:
I'm not talking about being needy or anything man, just call and ask them out again for a date a few days later. I personally don't think it's a big deal
its kinda built into us that we desire something more if it's supply is low. You create this by waiting. But in the end it's a stupid rule, just play it by ear.
Quick! All it takes for this to become a meme is for some people to post this on a few other askreddit threads, then other people to spam it on /r/circlejerk! We can do it Reddit!
You cells die and replace themselves constantly. The atoms that make up your body are fully cycled every 10 years. "You" are beyond these material things. We are software, and one day our bodies won't be the only hardware that we can live in.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:37:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Who cares if the flow breaks? We go through long periods of unconsciousness daily, and we don't dream for all of it by a long shot. Also, people go into long comas and often come out with their personality wholly intact.
More to the point, you're just stuck on the Ship of Theseus paradox. If you replace the ship all at once, it's obviously different, but if you replace the parts gradually, that calls it into doubt. But the only reason that paradox exists is for want of a clear definition of what makes that ship "that ship".
The gradual approach seems more feasible to you because you don't know what makes you "you". It's plagued philosophers and scientists both for centuries, but we're lucky in that now we live in a time when we've realized what consciousness is, how to describe it. The software analogy is essentially bulletproof, and it provides a blueprint for transference to new hardware.
Obviously you just need a slow transition. Interface human and machine, combine the two into one inseparable entity, then slowly phase out the biological components until there is only machine. It's still you as much as you will still be you in ten years.
douko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shout out to Ghost in the Shell, the movie that introduced this concept to me, and made it my life's goal to live long enough to put my mind in a full prosthetic body.
Really, the only way the illusion that the copy is somehow actually you the individual is only maintained if they get rid of the original. Either by only booting up the copy when you die or through a more complicated shell game of murder like the teleporters in Star Trek.
A good thing to think about is you being sat down at a table with the copy and have a gun put in the middle. If you believe the copy is actually you then you'll be fine being shot by the copy.
Or to think of it another way, can you see out of the copy's eyes or feel what it feels? If not, that's another person who just so happens to be exactly the same as you. It sure seems like it's you walking about but the situation gets questionable when they don't find a way to get rid of you in the making of the copy.
Or, yet another way to think about it, what if instead of uploading your consciousness to one body you did it to multiple. Are there somehow many of you running around at the same time while actually being you?
Uploading your consciousness to a robot body is nothing other than a fancy, talking, walking gravestone.
That's exactly how I've always felt about it. If your copy can exist at the same time as you then it is not you because you cannot be in both places at once.
Basically what it is is a bunch of work to trick the viewers' (not the original who will be destroyed but the new copy and anyone else that might be involved) object permanence in order to get something that seems close enough to immortality.
If you're dying of cancer uploading your mind will not save you. Your new self gets to go off and fuck bitches and you're going to be left to die of cancer.
And the line of logic that cellular death means you aren't the same you as yesterday ignores causality. If I go back in time and kill yesterday you, today you isn't here. While you're constantly changing you're still linked to past you through cause and effect. If I make a copy of myself and kill myself or the copy, the one left alive is unaffected by the death of the other.
A copy of yourself is about as tied to the original you as a child would be. If you kill the original before the act of conception the copy or child does not exist, after the point of conception the two are individuals and their identical nature is irrelevant.
Don't devour the galaxy. Those phones taste terrible. I'd recommend an aged Motorola, instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BE ALMIGHTY ONE
Damn store changed where the milk is again, leave without milk
TJzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you upload your mind to a computer you will still die, you will not become immortal, you will not live forever. you will however have a lasting concision imprint of yourself that may last forever.
No neurotoxin after uploading mind to a computer? PFFF, amateur
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you upload your mind to a computer YOU are still going to die. For all your friends and peers it'll be like you never went anywhere, but you're still dead.
My body will die, but that's fine if I can back up my mind on a computer. The human body is just hardware, our minds are software.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:47 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it still won't be your conciousness, it'll be a copy of it. It's as if we created a clone of you, with all your memories and experience and then killed you. You are dead, but there's a nice copy of you for the rest of us to enjoy.
PBborn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:07:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am god! For what do I need milk? Milk was the meaning of my life. It was my goal. Milk. What am I without it? How can I live forever, with nothing to live for? What I'm I now? fucking reddit
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:52:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why older people have such a well-deserved reputation for being frank and abrupt. It's because the older you get, the more you realize what bullshit stupid social niceties are. You start to get sick of dancing around the subject or being elaborately polite. You start to just say what you think and do not care whether the other person finds you direct or not. Personally, I find it very freeing.
sgol ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:38:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Latvian to-do list.
Hiei2k7 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:51:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My life was miserable. I thought no one was ever really happy. But now I'm happy as fuck and everyday I just learn about new interesting things and discuss them with my husband and watch movies and drink and enjoy my children and I don't give any fucks. We have plans to buy a farm and not give any fucks there, and we work toward that but we also don't stress about it. Life can be a pretty good fucking time.
I was in an abusive relationship, where I had been with the guy since I was 16. He was 4 years older so I learned to look up to him an unhealthy amount. That's what contributed to my staying. I was beaten for everything, for years, badly. For example, feeding our daugter corn that wasn't organic by mistake...massive beating. Crying? horrible beating. He nearly killed me several times and I worked to support him while he stayed at home doing nothing. Eventually he got a job in another town and started a whole other family that was kept secret from me until she was a few months pregnant. I was pretty suicidal and my life was a black hole. But I did not let it ruin me. I didn't let it ruin being able to trust someone or fall in love and what changed was that I finally left that horrible man and I met my now husband. I didn't let all the awful things that happened to me ruin my happiness, on the contrary I completely let go and stopped worrying about a thing. After so many brushes with death and so much despair I enjoyed every happy day to the absolute fullest and over two years later I am still doing so. Long answer, but maybe someone will read this and it will change how they feel about life and give them some hope.
hsapin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing, you're an inspiration! I'm happy you were able to find happiness!
It's ok, this is true wisdom. Imagine if you'd been one of those poor suckers who went to the store only to procure meaningless milk. How our precious time would have been wasted had we succumbed to such trivial temptations as milk-from-the-store!
I'm looking forward to all but one of these things though...
pomporn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:03:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not what's on the list that counts, just the idea that it's all laid out there in front of you as inevitable. It's like a cell in the womb which is full of possibility and could turn out to be anything getting assigned to be a heart cell, or an eye, or whatever else, and the potential being lost.
I'm not interested in half those things (especially not milk and death), but they could very well be in the future for me. I just feel better thinking about the future as a mystery, and that anything could happen.
You know there are milk alternatives like almond milk, rice milk, coconut milk, and soy milk. So maybe you just haven't found the right one for you yet. It's not all so bad.
pomporn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:21:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the milk, I just don't want to go get it. I'm considering a cow.
I'm not sure, I've graduated college, and plan to go to grad school next year but besides that I don't have a clue and it's great. So much room for possibilities when you don't make a list of it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:17:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You read that writing prompt too, I take it.
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't remember the link exactly - it was a response to a prompt on /r/writingprompts where people made all their significant life choices at age 18 - in one of the responses to the prompt, the protagonist died getting milk at a convenience store at age 54. I thought your mentioning dying right after getting milk was referencing that story.
Leody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm between Career and Marriage and already got the milk... My life is at total mess.
Are you going to get milk at the store as a ghost or a zombie? Will you pay with cash, credit, bullion, intimidation, or brute force?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I skipped the college part, saved myself tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and freed up years of time.
I'm now successful in my industry, pulling in $120k, and have it pretty easy, generally speaking.
I think that, with some sciences aside, college has turned into a scam.
I remember just how hard they pushed into our heads that we HAD to attend college when I was in HS. They pushed it so hard that it seemed like a con, and it kind of is, so it seems.
โข Done college and uni
โข Career
โข GF
โข Lost career
โข Gained Career
โข Lost career
โข Can't marry
โข No Kids please
โข I can do milk, milk can be afforded
โข When do I need a car? I can't really afford a car.
โข I gots me a load of milk
โข Still no career
โข Cannot even figure out how to format Reddit properly.
If I remember to get milk at the store at some point before I die, I can die a happy man. All of those other life milestones seem like mere child's play compared with my inability to remember to pick up milk while I'm at the store. And then I'm left thirsty and having to eat dry cereal. Ugh.
Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance.
Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.
Choose leisurewear and matching luggage.
Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want a gap year.
maddy77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, scratch the to do list, and do whatever the fuck you want
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
go to university
realize you hate it, drop out
year to work and think
go back to a new school for something you actually want
I've gotten up to #4, and I've come to the realization that the to-do list is pure shit. It's a hell I want no part of. Plenty of people are happy to pair up and pump out some broodlings and ride that train until they die, but it's not for me, and it sounds awful. I just wish I had realized it sooner.
Of course, I have no alternative, so I'm depressed and desperately looking for a path to follow. Hooray for being different.
Seven65 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had the option of a gap year. I started working at 16.
Thanks for the reminder about the milk. Shit would've gone down had I forgot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You dont have to do any of those things. Each has its pros and cons which you (and no one else) should consider rationally and logically. For example I went to uni, but skipped the gap year and (currently) intend to skip marriage and kids, because commitment and kids are shit.
BBrown7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy. Your wife wanted me to remind you to get milk while you're out
Yeah, but most of us will do this with a relatively small amount of excruciating pain, illness and personal tragedy (at least when compared to 99.9% of human beings who have ever lived). We'll do it with pizza, and Netflix, and red wine, and sunsets, and lots of quiet little moments that are each lovely in their own way.
my plan was to retire after the gap year. could have easily done it if i invested in bitcoins earlier.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was basically exactly what my teacher outlined for us all in my planning class minus the care for healthy bones. It all just seemed really depressing.
Unless he's playing online and ruining the race for everyone else by driving backwards around the track.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment really hit home with me b/c I am: in my thirties, great wife, great son, great house, pretty good career and hobbies...overall try to stay a positive person. Prob more happy than I've ever been.
But, for some reason I get seriously pissed about the total lack of Gran Turismo on PS4. I mean WTF? I was out of gaming for a few years. My wife surprises me with a ps4 when she's pregnant. I basically just assumed that GT7 would be out soon (and having been out of gaming I also assumed that GT6 would be workig on ps4.
Anyways, it's been cool b/c I still have my sports games and I've learned to like new stuff (Witcher 3 is great)...but I'm primarily a racing game fan. (I'm also in the minority in that I think Project Cars sucks.)
But yeah, I pretty much have what I want out of life. But, the total botch of the timing and 2087 release date for Gran Turismo 7 is something that I really do think about, and get bummed/frustrated about on basically a daily basis.
Unfortunately for you Xbox is where it's at for racing games. The Forza series is just as good as Gran Turismo these days. Even better considering you can actually play them!
By the time GT7 comes out, X1 would have had Forza 5, Forza 6 and Forza Horizon 2. It is essentially the main reason I got an Xbox over PS4!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tell myself it's not that bad b/c I hated FH2. My buddy has FH2 and I can't stand it. Crashing though restaurant tables and off buildings the whole thing was super arcade and dumb to me.
I want real tracks, realistic lap times, some real racing teams cars, etc. but, I know Forza 6 will have all that.
E3 came around and from PD?.....nothing. Meanwhile, Microsoft is dropping a Ford GT out of the ceiling and has a sept release date on Forza 6...damnit.
I can't justify having two systems, and I'm not going through trading in. Microsoft lost me to Sony with the NSAbox. I'm pretty much stuck, I just hope it's by Xmas of 2015 at least. This 2016/17 crap is insane!
FH2 is actually a great game but you're right it's an arcade racer. It's competition is Need for Speed and The Crew etc. In my opinion it is better than both of those games. I love the style but im a big fan of the serious racer too.
Forza 5 was great and Forza 6 will be even better. It's a shame you still view the Xbox as a NSAbox because you're really missing out on great games. I only have one system too although if I could afford it i would have both!
I was just suggesting you look at Xbox (or PC) if you're an avid racing fan, because Playstation have massively dropped the ball in that regard. Saying that the new Formula 1 game is coming out soon iirc. That might scratch the itch until (if?) GT comes out!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, only GT7 or a Forza 6 will do. I could easily afford XBONE. But, my annual income just took a 17-18k/year hit. I'm still doing fine. But, stuff like having PS4 and XBONE when I maaaaybe play games 3-4 hours a week...well, that's just not happening.
I'm right there with ya on the GT7 thing. Bought my PS4 hoping that there'd be a soonish release date, but seeing as this is Polyphony we're talking about they're really good about being slow with the development.
Now of course there are other things to play on the Piss-Station 4 and there is always Forza on the Xbox, but even in my childhood I knew that deep down that I'm a Gran Turismo fanboy. I can't help that fact.
Sir as my elder i would like you to respectfully know i have similar desires in life, im 39 and 1/2 so still being in my 30s im glad to know this is ok.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why is that a bad thing? My dad says (He's 55) that all he wants to do with his life is drink a beer and sit outside of our camper in New York. Everyone thinks the end goal is to have a job that makes you happy. On the contrary, I think it's to have a job that doesn't make you hate yourself and gives you the funds so that you can do what you want to do with the rest of your life. Career =/= life.
I'm only 28, but I've gotten attached to "whatever the fuck I feel like, asshole" for that answer.
evictor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go poop.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry. Most folks are in the same boat. I'm 56. Had 2 careers, retired at 45. Started a business, then another. And now own one and partnerships in two and hate both of them. ( the business and the partners) Am dissolving one next month. The other at year end. I keep telling my wife I'm going to be selective about next partnership or business venture. But the reality is someone will say "LobBobBlob let's go together and chrome plate turds, this area needs a turd shop" and I'll be in business again. For 2-3 years I'll love it and then I'll loath it. My normal cycle is to love an idea, get something going and then hate it. Amazingly we somehow make money, but it's not through fore site, planning or always knowing what we are doing. It seems that attention to detail, honest work, personal pride, reliability and that combined with some luck seems to pull us through. But knowing what i truly want to do in life still escapes me.
This is me. I had to leave the one career that made sense, and I'm so far out of it, I can't get back in. So since then, I'm just plopping along into whatever comes along (I am not a leader, I'm an excellent follower and assistant). Make me feel better knowing I'm not the only one!
jmn700 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured out that I already knew what I should do. Many of my friends doubt every move that they make "is this the correct path? Where is my goal?". Dude (and dudettes), there's no goal and most of the time there is no path at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you could start by cleaning the basement. Freeloader.
Right now? Wash boats in a boatyard, survive on benefits for me and my two kids.
In the past? Long list: first job at 14 as a dishwasher, then the next year prep cook. Then waitress, cashier, ice cream scoop, waitress again, theme park attendant, PA on national talk show, PA on other shows, assistant producer, assistant line producer, public relations mouthpiece for a national broadband pressure group, (mother in here somewhere as well), online marketing on the side, yarn shop worker, and now back to waitressing and finally back to boat washer.
No degree, high school diploma.
haurgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hate that song. I'd heard all that crap for years before that came out anyway.
Tag613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
38 and I just try to make each day a happy one, this has always been my first goal in life. Today it's recovering from an island camping trip, coffee and getting toasted. Tomorrow will be work and flirting with nurses and cute clerks.
I have to say, as soon as I stopped trying to figure it out and just enjoy the ride, the easier life became. One day, what you want to do will come to you, until then, don't stress about it.
Etonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stopped trying to figure it out and just enjoy the ride
Sounds like you've figured out exactly what you want to do though
Actually I don't think I have. I've accomplished a lot of the goals I set in front of myself, and right now I'm kind of coasting along not really sure what to do next. I'm sure it'll come to me eventually, but right now I'm just enjoying the ride. In a way it's kind of nerve racking though because I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to or work towards. I guess this is around when kids should probably come in the picture.
Etonet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well good luck. Personally i want to build a giant mech and conquer Texas or some place
it's more that people should be able to look after themselves without abusing benefits like so many in this country (UK) do just because they either "cant be bothered" or havent found their dream job. Better to have something else in the mean time to give your life some structure and self sustainment without having to drain money from the kitty that could be better spent elsewhere. I agree completely with what has been said so far in this thread about not knowing what you want to do long term and not fretting about it, but that doesn't mean doing nothing is OK until it comes along if you're a drain on society. Obviously for those that actually need it - fine, but it's definitely abused in this country.
(sorry for the rant)
zawata ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 18:40:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just it though. Unless you're a real close friend, you'll never know if they're trying to figure it out or not. All anyone can see is the result, the current product, who you are now. If that result suggests laziness, regardless of circumstance, you're judged for not knowing and you're not given any credit for effort made trying to figure it out.
zawata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an excellent point
I myself can't recall a time where I've ever berated(or even looked down upon) someone who doesn't know what they want to do
Though I'm in college so that characterizes about half the people I meet
I spent over a decade trying to figure it out, studying, working, doing what I thought I was supposed to, feeling pressure from everywhere, only to discover my "choice" didn't work for me. All the self doubt and feeling like a failure triggered another bout of depression. I've spent six months trying to work through that and some other health issues but most people think I'm just being lazy.
TL;DR you never know what other people are dealing with.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:06:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eh. I figure things might totally change in a year or two, so there's no point planning for it until you need to, beyond some vague hopes.
Etonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you attempt to figure out "yep, this is what i love, this is what i want to do with my life"? Not just anyone has the resources to try everything and see if they like it
Dmj576 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My answer is simple. I want to make money the rest of my life. As long as what I'm doing isn't illegal, immoral, and it lets me support my family, I pretty much don't really give a fuck what it is.
I thought the same, but now going into my last quarter of college in the fall, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to handle a Computer Science job even though it should pay pretty well.
Well my friends and friends of friends in industry say it's not like school, and they'll pretty much teach you what you need to know on site because it's generally specialized and they want you to do specific things. That's the reassuring thing to me that has me only doubting my future, but if it ends up being like school then I think I might have to find a new field.
Don't bother with a BS in CS. Better off grabbing a bunch of certs in your desired field, being able to prove you can do stuff. College doesn't teach you shit.
Well for starters Computer Science as a major is more focused on theoretical stuff, whereas industry is focused on creating a product. So while the things you learn may be useful, you spend a lot of time learning things that you aren't going to need.
Aside from that, and this might just be me personally, but everything you do in school (research aside) is just thrown away when you're done with it. Sure you learn from it, but it genuinely frustrates me to no end when I finish a project I've been working on for weeks, get a grade, and that's the end of it. It's the same as everyone else's (more or less) and it's trash now. You might write beautiful code, but there's no application for it, or if there is there's already something much better in existence so yours is trash nonetheless.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the worst. I'm currently in high school and have no idea what I want to do (though I'm considering being an electrical engineer).
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:08:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Etonet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nobody does
That's not true
Vanetia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:36:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 30s and now want to make crafts at least part time.
In my 40s maybe I'll want to do something else. Who knows?
Always keep growing. Never nail yourself down. You are you no matter what you do :)
Masklin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. So sick of people telling me I should 'do' something.
In my opinion yeah, I guess - but it's not something you can do for a living so you eventually have to try stuff to figure out what you want to do for a living.
Of course making a living isn't everything, but it's an important part of being happy.
Good point. Making a living isn't everything, but is is something everyone has to do. I think lots of young people who get depressed get hung up on not wanting to accept this reality.
What I would tell those people - get out and do something. Do you like it? Great! You probably won't. Do some introspection about what you like/dislike about it and change careers (or if you're lucky, class schedules). Rinse/repeat.
I've seen people change career paths at 45 years old and be as happy as can be in their new jobs. The trick is to slowly move to what you enjoy while making sure you can both (1) relax and (2) get closer to what you enjoy outside of work hours.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not knowing isn't a crime, but if you aren't exploring and trying to find out what your calling is, there's a good chance you'll wind up stuck with whatever happens to fall into your lap.
Maybe this applies to you, maybe it doesn't:
Going out drinking, playing video games, watching netflix, "hanging out," they're a fun and awesome in moderation. But it's like eating candy. If you eat candy once in a while it's awesome. If you eat candy all day every day it'll make you sick and you'll get fat.
Pursuing more complex interests, even if they don't turn out to be your calling, is good for you. It makes you more interesting and makes you more likely to take risks and try new things. And hopefully by doing so, someday you will find your calling.
You probably won't find your calling on Netflix, or at a bar, or on your xbox.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:16:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really believe in a "calling." Sure I guess I have a predisposition to some things more than others, but I don't believe I'm ever going to get some magical click, grab my face, and say "Holy fuck! I was born to be a fishery consultant!" or something. I'd rather just subsist and do things I enjoy doing in my downtime.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just capitalist propaganda anyway; you don't have to be useful to society if you don't want to
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:40:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since you'll spend half your waking life at work, finding a job that fits your interests is worthwhile, even if it's not exactly your 'calling.' There are lots of interesting jobs.
Plus, like I said, if you just take whatever comes your way there's a much higher chance you'll end up working at Walmart for 40 years and be too poor to have a family or do the things you love.
My problem is that I have many things I'd like to do, so it's hard for me to just pick one and run at it. I hop from one thing to the next and find it hard to invest the needed time into each. Plus I'm a huge procrastinator so that's not helping, and I absolutely suck at trying to get organised, nothing seems to help.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all in your head dude; Procrastinating, doubt, fear that you're picking the wrong thing--you'll have to learn to ignore them.
Picking nothing is a million times worse than picking the wrong thing. Just get started, and switch later if you need to.
They key is to always be chasing something. Switching isn't the problem, it's stopping.
Yeah I'm working on it, in the hope that one day something will stick. I'm annoying myself with my disorganisation, so with any luck I'll annoy myself into bettering myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick something and dedicate an hour to it a few times a week. Something you don't do, but want to; like playing an instrument or lifting weights.
Fitness is a good starter because the results are more tangible and you'll notice improvement quickly. Physical skills in general are like this I think. Less tangible skills like writing can be hard to see improvement, and if you're just getting started seeing improvement will help keep you from quitting.
Expensive/hard-to-get-into/hard-to-practice-regularly things like sailing or mountain climbing are probably better saved for later.
The truth is you're not learning/exploring just <whatever thing you chose>, you're learning how to build good habits, consistency, and how to go outside your comfort zone. So picking up new skills and trying new shit later on will be that much easier.
Had this conversation with a neighbor last night, basically he told me "Look, it's good to have an idea of what you wanna do, but keep in mind that shit can change really fast, for better or worse. Sometimes you gotta go out on a limb and fuckin wing it."
Yep... I've kind of broken from the typical mold of society... The thing to do is go to College and then get a job... I decided I didn't want to do that, or get a conventional job. So i've been devoting my time uploading online trying to make creating videos my job. And it's building slowly. But I feel MUCH happier than I would be if I went the typical route.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father happened to be at the lake yesterday as I walking, and we stopped, and chatted, as we don't see much of each other. And he says, so what's going on in your life and I say, oh, you know, nothing much and he says son, you're in your 30's - when are you going to start doing stuff and I say I have a great house, I'm in a great relationship, and I have a job and I don't worry about money. I'm not sure what else I could realistically wish to happen for me at this point to which he said, well.. uh.. yeah, that's true - and then we changed the subject.
PS: I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm 31.
I'm seriously stuck here now, I have a job but I'm so lost with what I really want to do ( I have no idea yet) vs. being debt the rest of my adult life. Then having a mother constantly complain when she'll have a grandchild then it's quite frustrating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I know I want a pet goat, so that's a start.
This is something you need to figure out. It's not easy by any stretch and I agree it gets tiring hearing people constantly ask you about it, but at some point you will need to figure it out if you want to be truly happy. Just don't let people try and push you into what they want or what they think is best for you. Ultimately only you will know what is truly the thing that will fill you with passion and leave you feeling fulfilled.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Didn't go to college and as of right now I bag groceries at minimum wage. I plan on moving to a full time office job just a little before I turn 20. As of right now I'm just enjoying my life, and nobody can accept that...ever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feh, just pretend until you find something you want to do. Most my friends stumbled into their careers by trying things on until they found a fit. Some of them are still trying things on.
I think a lot of people are in the same boat. I really don't get why reddit continually recommends people to find their passions. Sometimes, sadly, the passions don't exist or are more or less entirely unemployable.
Still, we have massive studies that have been done suggesting almost half of people dislike their jobs. I'm not really surprised by that figure and sometimes suspect that number is actually low because a good number of people have stockholm syndrome towards their work. At the same time, I'm more than happy to join that crowd for a good salary and then utilize that money to go out and make myself happy doing things that I love.
Generally, people pick a repeatable activity that they either like or don't dislike. Is what I do. Unfortunately, there are too many and I get confused with all the options cause none of them are better or worse ffs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I embraced it for a long time but I think its finally catching up with me. Not even that old just still clueless.
Same here, I've never have a to-do list, cause everytime I think I'm gonna be, my dad would always says that this job doesn't fits you or you'll not last long for its competitive tasks. Time after time i gave up most of my dreams
I've never known what I want to do with the rest of my life...after 8 years of just going with it, the best plan I have is 'work out a plan'. If I can figure out what I'm doing next month I'll be happy. After that, fuck knows, but I'm closer to thirty than twenty now, and I've sorta figured out it's ok not to have a long term plan, but I really need a goal to work towards, even if it's very short term
My husband & I are extremely successful people in our careers, he didn't start college until age 25, I didn't know what to be when I grew up until I turned 30... it will come to you, don't sweat it. Find a passion and run with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of thinking about what you like, think about what you hate. Find something you loathe so much so that you'd be prepared to spend your life in pursuit of killing it, then go do that.
All the people who say they know are either lying or wrong.
Or confined to a hospital bed for the last few hours of their life, maybe, I guess.
maluta2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
You never need to know what you want to do with "the rest" of your life.
Have a good plan for the next year or two, some key goals, an idea of what it would take to meet those goals, and just enough more of a plan to know how to create opportunity, and how to know when it knocks.
The rest is the magic of life.
(But don't get married and have kids unless you're sure. Begin a marriage childless and certain, and then, if you're gonna fail, fail fast and before kids. Unwinding bad decisions is hard)
I'm proud of you for being okay with that. It's means you are being true to yourself! I am 23 and some days I feel like a loser. I've hopped from job to job and home to home since I was 17. Some days I feel that's a bad thing and put pressure on myself to do something "successful". But what is success? Is it the car you own? Is it the contents of your wallet? Right now in this moment I am happy. No, I am not driving a BMW like a kid I grew up with is. But so what? Maybe I will have a BMW one day, maybe I won't. Wherever or whatever we are in 10 years will be exactly where we want to be. We are in control of our happiness and we let the universe place us properly. We are not pressured by society or family. We are our own persons and we are happy.
No one knows. I'm guessing our generation will have at least 3-4 career changes throughout our lifetime unless you're someone who knows what career they want or already have it. It took me a while to figure it out but now i'm finally in a technology related major with great job prospects that I can see myself doing as a future career. You'll figure it out eventually :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not socially unacceptable I'd say that constitutes most people, they either don't know or they never did and they're too old to find out having got married and had kids.
I know where I want to go next but currently it is unaccessible for me to get there. It may never be available to me, but this isn't disney, we suffer and slave and expire - that's life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing what you're going to do with your life isn't important in my opinion. It's much more important to focus on getting really good at whatever you're doing now. I consider "getting good at stuff" a skill in its own right. That way, if/when you do decide what you want to do, you will have all kinds of residual skills accelerating the process.
I'm in my early 30's, college degree, decent job, home owner, single......and I have no clue what I want to do. Maybe I just lack commitment, but looking at life and saying....I want to do this for the next 40-50 years just seems like a mundane track to live.
Xeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recognize that everyone is just as clueless, aimless and scared as you are
The life train has no breaks
Do whatever you want
Keep a roof over your head
Die
P.S. Buy milk and ice cream
Kingful ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:22:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Whatever you do, just make sure to SAVE money. Put the money in something that makes it hard to access, like savings bonds or mutual funds. That way, it'll be hard to spend it. Just set aside $100 from every paycheck (preferably, have it automatically withdrawn, so you never even have possession of the money in the first place), and forget about it. You'll be working, figuring out what you want to do for real with your life, and all the while you're making your future and your ability to do what you want when you finally figure it out much, much more secure, smooth and worry-free. You may hate your job, but you won't leave with nothing to show for your time there.
That's what I'm doing now, and I wish I had started sooner. Even though I don't like my job, I buy $100 of company stock every paycheck. It's automatically withdrawn from my check, so it's pain-free. Also, if I want to spend it, it takes like a week from the time I sell it to the time I get a check, so it's immune to impulse buys. It's working great so far!
Sure, if it's a daily or routine occurrence, or drinking massive amounts or something, maybe seek help. But if I'm going to make myself a nice dinner and watch a movie I've wanted to see for forever I'm sure gonna pour myself some wine. I had a friend drop by unexpectedly, who saw me drinking alone one night and FREAKED OUT. And I was just like, "Bitch, no wine for you."
I drink alone occasionally and never thought anything of it for a long time. I don't see any difference between having a drink while I watch television in the evening and my husband plays on the computer in the same room and having a drink while I watch television in the evening while my husband is not home. Once a friend came by when I was having a solo drink and gave me a hard time about it. It seemed so silly.
I'd always taken the drinking alone thing not as a suggestion to not drink when you're the only one home but as a suggestion to not be the only one drinking. That makes more sense to me. It's not the being the only one present that makes booze inappropriate. It's that if you're the only one who is drinking when everyone else is staying sober, it's a sign that drinking may be inappropriate for that situation and that crowd and if you're not able to fit in with the others and opt to not drink right then either, it might be a red flag you need to notice. If the rest of your coworkers aren't drinking at lunch, maybe you ought to think twice about it if you are. If the rest of your family isn't drunk at your little nephew's birthday party, maybe you ought to consider if you should be. That kind of deal.
I think a big part of it is actually whether the primary activity is drinking or not. For example, going out to get drinks with some friends? Sure, why not. Arguably the primary activity there is actually spending time with your friends, though. On the other hand, someone going out to get drinks by themselves is a bit more odd. Of course, going out to the bar in hopes of meeting people is also another story.
Alternatively, staying home by yourself to get drunk might be concerning to people. On the other hand, having a drink while you watch movies because you enjoy it seems fine.
Personally, I think that as long as you're not an alcoholic and it's not hurting anyone, enjoy a drink.
Myself, I'll drink alone, but even when I'm drinking in a social setting I do it more for the taste than to get drunk. I often do it slow enough I don't even get a buzz from it. I haven't been drunk in more than ten years. Since I drink fairly rarely, don't drink in large quantities, and don't get particularly intoxicated when I do it, then people who have an issue with me doing that alone (sometimes) can just deal.
BNNJ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:17:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People also need to make a distinction between drinking and getting drunk.
Seriously, why the fuck should drinking a beer be wrong ?
I like beer, so i'll have one, thank you very much. I'm not gonna get drunk. How is this any different than drinking a coke ?
On the other hand, having a drink while you watch movies because you enjoy it seems fine.
This became a slippery slope for me...already having arguably an addictive personality and then linking an enjoyable activity with an addictive substance. I was always a beer drinker and could never fathom the concept of drinking alone. I only drank in social settings. Then around 2008-ish I decided to introduce myself to wine. Whereas beer gave me this "woohoo, let's party" vibe, wine gave me a very relaxing/chill vibe, and eventually became something I found I enjoyed alone.
I started drinking wine while watching my favorite shows. This was around the time that Netflix streaming and the idea of "binge-watching" a series started to become a thing. After some time I started to associate the two things...so much so that the enjoyment of the movie or show was predicated on whether I had wine or not. I'd purposely choose what I was going to do based on whether I had any wine in the house. I'd delay watching a certain movie or show because "I want to watch that one with some wine".
Oddly enough, just channel surfing or watching something random on TV did not trigger my desire for wine. But if I was going to watch something really good or amazing that was going to envelop me intellectually, emotionally, or just make me think, I definitely had to have wine or I'd feel like my experience was "meh".
Once I realized "oh shit, I'm drinking wine damn near every night" I finally had to set some rules for myself to break the association I had with TV and wine...although I still pair a good bottle with a good season finale.
Oh I can completely relate and if you are happy and it's working do your thing. I;m just saying that I did allow myself to get out of hand. Wine wasn't destroying my life or anything, but it was preventing me from living my life as healthy as I wanted to be.
Starting each day somewhat groggy wasn't a good thing for me. It tended to set the tone for the rest of the day. Didn't pack my gym clothes, didn't pack my healthy lunch. Skipped the gym, made bad food choices. So I basically had to set limits. Instead of 6-7 days a week, cut back to weekends only. Or if I'm going to drink wine on a week night that I didn't plan to, eat extremely healthy that day and put in a kick-ass workout to earn it. Stuff like that.
I love wine and good food far too much to allow it to become an off-limits substance ;)
I like to drink and play games. Every few weeks (prob once a month) I spend one of my off days half lit playing video games. I don't get hammered but I get pretty tipsy.
I took a survey that said I am an alchoholic because I drank alone and drank to get a buzz. Bull, 10 YRS later and I'm still the same except I drink less overall and less often
I think drinking alone is usually associated with alcoholism (and rightly so) and that is actually what people have a problem with, especially people that love you.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also the key word here is occasionally. If once in awhile you go ahead and drink when you're alone it's not a problem. It's when nearly every night you find yourself drinking alone that it becomes a problem.
Edit: I meant getting hammered every night. Not just having a couple drinks
If I lived alone and had a glass of wine with dinner every night that would be totally fine. If you're getting shitfaced alone that's a different story.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's obviously what I meant. If you need to get drunk every night it's a problem. I never said having a drink or two with dinner every night was.
And why exactly is it a problem? There are hundreds of thousands of people out there, maybe millions, who live alone, dine alone, and for whatever reason, stay home alone pretty much every day.
You're only going to judge them if they have a drink?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See you're saying "a drink" what I meant to say was if you're getting drunk every night it's a problem. I should have clarified
Where are you from that drinking wine by yourself is "socially unacceptable"?
Edit: I didn't read the username at first, you can stop telling me about it.
[deleted] ยท 859 points ยท Posted at 21:31:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually seen this pretty much everywhere. Some people just have this really weird idea of what it means. If I'm going to enjoy a movie on a Friday night alone, you're damn right I'm going to be opening a few beers.
I have only ever had a problem drinking alcohol with other people. When drunk all it takes is someone pointing at more booze and im at it. Downing things left right and centre. The slightest pressure to drink more would be met with me first saying no and then a second later, bottoms up. Its become an issue that ive hopefully sorted.
Alone I set my own pace and feel no need to over drink. Alcohol can make all sorts of things more enjoyable, movies to games to cleaning. Helped me get through some terrible group cinema trips thankfully. Only need one beer.
Ah. I see where you got that. That's not the actual name of it. It's just a small shop downtown that carries loads of microbrews.
DrobUWP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well be thankful. I became acquainted when visiting Canada. it's government owned and fucking expensive! to the point that you might as well be drinking in a bar.
Tramd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, although the good news I guess is that craft beer is the same price or often cheaper than the larger breweries. Going to a bar is always stupid expensive though. $6-8 for a pint that may or may not actually be a pint.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DrobUWP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I can help you understand. Take it or leave it.
To most people drinking is a social activity. Alcohol is a social lubricant that can turn a fun night with friends into an awesomely fun night with friends. On the other hand, alcoholism can be a very serious issue. When it isn't enough to just drink in social settings, alcoholics need to drink more often. That is when they start drinking alone.
If it looks like you need (what is generally considered) a social lubricant even when not in social settings you look like an alcoholic.
That said, if you enjoy what you get out of drinking alone, and alcohol isn't consuming your life and thought patterns, screw social stigmas, have at it. Please just pleasantly re-assure your friends that you are fine, and that you don't need/aren't using alcohol to self-medicate other overwhelming issues in your life.
All that does is shows their social issues and how they deal with their anxieties of being in social situations. Which, imo, is far worse than drinking alone.
Like, let's look at it this way, some people say they need to drink in social situations to get over being nervous and no one gives a shit. How fucked up is that? You are dependent on alcohol to talk to people and have a good time? But the moment I pour a drink at home and start playing a video game, I have a problem? The fuck is with that?
I'm far more inclined to worry about people that absolutely have to drink in social situations than I am about people that drink alone or have a drink to relax.
Edit: I'm not arguing your point, I'm just stating some other angles of it.
I'm with you on this. People (in the US at least) apply this logic/stigma to doing lots of things alone. I spend a lot of time by myself, especially lately (recently moved to a new city). It's amazing how people to respond to my telling them all the things I do by myself: I go to movies, go out to dinner, go to museums, go to concerts, sit at a bar. People are shocked that I would dare to do these things alone.
Call me crazy but if I want to do something, I'm going to do it, even if I don't have anyone to do it with. Same goes for enjoying a bottle of wine or a few glasses of bourbon.
Doing something stupid/unhealthy/dull/boring in the company of another person doesn't make it any less stupid/unhealthy/dull/boring.
Fucking truth x100. Lately I've taken to cracking a couple beers and talking with people on skype every couple of days which I thought was fine, but a few days later one of those same friends makes an offhanded comment about "drinking alone". Like, what? Fuck you, it's one thing to have a couple beers by myself playing a video game (which is still totally fine) but I was literally sitting there talking to them, and you're gonna judge me for that? Take a fucking hike
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoying a drink in a social setting doesn't mean that you need to drink to enjoy a social setting any more than drinking by yourself means that you need to drink to spend time by yourself.
I think the earlier commenter is right that the perception of alcoholism exists because many people either do enjoy drinking by themselves and can't imagine doing it unless they were addicted, or because they see it as "playing with fire".
Yeah, I'm not saying it's the right mindset or anything, just the common mindset.
I'm far more inclined to worry about people that absolutely have to drink in social situations than I am about people that drink alone or have a drink to relax.
It's usually not that people must drink in social situations, just that it is generally viewed as a social activity. Like, the majority of people would go play putt putt with a group of people. That's not weird. If you caught someone at putt putt by themselves, you might wonder who they are with. Sure they could just enjoy putt putt, but you might find it a bit odd. That's more how most people view drinking alone, plus the added stigma of potential alcoholism (as far as we know, putt putt isn't an addicting substance, or a emotional coping mechanism.)
You're right though, if every time you got together with certain people they consistently pushed to get the 'party' started by getting the drinking going, they may be struggling with (or relishing in) alcoholism and just using the social gathering as a cover for it.
While the general consensus is that it's OK for people to use alcohol as a social lubricant, I think its also just fine for people to us it as a personal lubricant by themselves.
I absolutely agree. I was just attempting to explain why the popular public perception is the way it is. In fact, for most people it really is a bit of projection. I know that if I am drinking alone it isn't because I enjoy drinking alone, it is because I'm stressed and/or depressed and trying to relax and forget about it, when really I should be tackling the actual problem, not the symptom.
No need to explain yourself, I was actually just attempting a double entendre. Poorly.
spasm01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
some people forget that you rarely have money to break out the good booze at parties, so you have to try new alcohols where it wont cost you an arm and a leg
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Whenever I want to have a nice bottle of craft beer, I hit the supermarket, get one for, let's say, 3 dollars and go home to enjoy it with myself while watching some True Detective. Having craft beer socially on a restaurant that sells craft beer (usually the priciest ones, btw) would cost me 3 times or more (plus the food, the service etc.).
spasm01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely! You don't have to drink alone because you're sad, could be you simply like the taste
I think it really just depends on how much you drink while alone. For me, I'm not a very social person. I don't really do the whole bar scene and I can count the amount of friends I have that do drink on one hand. So very rarely do I ever get to drink in social situations. However, when I do drink alone I rarely ever drink more than 2-3 beers at a time and I usually drink maybe once or twice a week. I also genuinely enjoy the taste of beer, so for me drinking a beer is the same as someone else drinking a Pepsi. It's just something I enjoy doing, but not because it "gets me drunk". I've only been completely drunk twice in my entire life (I'm 30 btw), and the hangover afterwards just isn't worth it. I know my limits and I know how much alcohol I can drink before it starts having an effect on me.
However, if someone is knocking back a six pack every day by themselves, then yeah I would think that person might have a problem and it might be a good idea to start checking up on that person.
I've always viewed it as similar to smoking alone. Either substance is considered a social one to use, but smoking alone is okay, drinking alone one in a while is always even as sad or wrong, even though it really isn't to me.
Gotta say,seems to be more a colonial thing, rarely will you find anyone who cares in England. Even the theologically challenged over here aren't usually bothered by alcohol.
I think it's the same thing with people thinking watching movies alone is sad. Some people are very social and extroverted, to them they do everything in a group, so it seems like the only reason you'd do these activities alone is if you had no one else to do it with. They're just projecting.
I mean, introverts do it too. I see people who hang out with other people 24/7, and sometimes I automatically kind of think "man, he/she is living some kind of hell".
I used to do that. Then I started drinking wine. You know, to be classy - on a date with myself. Then I started drinking a whole bottle of wine. Then I started drinking vodka sodas - to cut back on calories. Then just vodka. Then a bottle of vodka. Then a bottle of vodka before 4PM.
Plenty of people follow this slippery slope when it comes to drinking in social situations, too. Multiple friends come to mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, yeezus.
herrbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think because it's associated with being a lowlife drunk. Obviously the two situations are very different. Buying a crate of beers to drink by yourself on a Friday night is different to a glass or two of wine.
I knew a girl in high school who would often drink alone just to drink alone. I think that people think it's a bad thing because of people like her who just do it because it's different than being alone and makes them happy. Drinking alongside something else as a compliment is perfectly fine.
It sounds like you guys have social groups of people that are rather different from you. Nothing wrong with that, but that just not my experience at all. No one I regularly hang out with would think it's weird to drink alone at all, or do drugs alone for that matter. I don't know about everyone in my group, but we're far from alcoholics or anything, I think I've only drunk two or three times in the last month even (one of which was by myself fwiw).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People think it means you're really sad and depressed and cope with your feelings by using alcohol, or you need alcohol SO MUCH you can't wait for a socially acceptable situation to get shitfaced. In reality there are plenty of alcoholics who cover their addiction by only getting drunk in social settings (it just so happens that their entire lifestyle revolves around their bars and their drinking buddies) and plenty of nonalcoholics that like to drink alone.
I drink alone occasionally. It doesn't mean I have a problem, it just means I prefer my own company to that of a bunch of other drunk assholes.
My favorite thing to do is buy a 6-pack of beer and drink 2-3 when playing with my bros online at night. It's a great recipe for a night full of laughs and unwinding, you know?
I'm guessing you are younger. This is a weird youthful stigma that completely goes away as you get older. (Odd considering how 18 year olds love to regularly get together to binge drink, but find something off about enjoying a couple of beers by yourself at home...)
The average responsible drinking adult has absolutely no issues with having a couple of drinks by themselves while watching a game or enjoying a quiet night in.
I find that the peer pressure of getting turned up and having a good night out causes people to drink a LOT more than they would had they been drinking by themselves.
I hate movie theaters because they won't pause or rewind the movie for you if you have to piss or make a phone call.
one time I got up in the middle of a movie because I had to cut my grass and put my garbage out for Thursday collection. when I came back, the movie was over. when I asked about catching the next one,, they said I had to pay again.
what BULLSHIT.
wenaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a housemate who was, well, not motivated to do anything at all. He quit his job as a fry cook at Red Robin's and lived off his tax return for a few months, neglecting to pay his rent in favour of smoking copious amounts of pot, watching depressing war documentaries, and drinking.
And boy did he drink. He'd come home every night with a six pack and a fifth of whatever's cheapest, showing off his 8-dollar-after-tax bottle with pride. And I live in Washington state, which has the highest alcohol taxes in the country, last time I checked.
Soon, he stopped even wanting to show his liquor off, he was so anti social. He was fired from the weekends-only, under the table job (they paid him in beer) at a local bar after two weeks for not showing up consistently. Every day, every night, his door was closed to the world. He never interacted with anyone but the bottle.
He eventually moved out so he could couch surf, avoiding rent to use the last of his money on his vices. He got another job at a pub, under the table, in which he was, again, paid in food and drink.
And he still drinks alone, avoiding all human contact he can, swirling deeper and deeper into depression.
That's the kind of "drinking alone" that is (or should be) considered unacceptable.
probably just misconceptions about alcoholism, maybe something a little extreme their parents said that's still resonating in their head form childhood.
I feel that it's come up because many drug/alcohol education programs use the "are you drinking/smoking/snorting alone?" as a barometer for addiction, to combat the "I only do it as a social thing" piece of denial. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of follow-up explanation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually seen this pretty much everywhere.
In USA, nowhere else.
tehftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It comes from not understanding what alcohol problem actually is.
I agree that drinking alone, at least for me, isn't about getting drunk. I just like to enjoy a glass of wine and a book after a day of soul-sucking studio classes. I actually never get drunk even with other people.
Speaking for myself, I hate getting drunk in public. A couple drinks work good as social lubricant, but beyond that everyone else just become noisy and irritating, and I retreat into a corner and stay quiet. I also end up feeling depressed because everyone else is having an awesome time and I'm not.
On the other hand, I love getting drunk by myself. I don't have to worry about impressing anyone, I can just put on some good music, throw back a quarter bottle of gin, and focus on all the good feelings that come with along it. I have never felt as good when drinking in public.
Before anyone tells me that I need to check into AA, I can quit drinking on a moment's notice and continue to abstain from alcohol for months on end without issue. I just enjoy drinking on my own terms.
While I don't fundamentally disagree with you, I do think you have to balance it to give yourself time to recover. Alcohol is after all fundamentally bad for you, and being able to "quit drinking on a moment's notice" is not a helpful distinction if you only do it rarely to give yourself false peace of mind.
You see, I don't drink by myself to get drunk. I'll have a tasty beer because I like it, or I'll make myself a cocktail for the taste. Even with people, I rarely drink to GET DRUNK. I drink because I like wine, I love all the local beer, cider is amazing and the cocktail making is an art. I tend to have 2 drinks with my dinner when going out to try the specialty cocktails at various restaurants. I mean, getting wasted is so college :D
danwroy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:44:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couple people I know that have gone through AA have gotten all preachy about finding god and judging anyone who drinks. Yes, I'm happy AA helped you. I don't care much about God and 3 beers doesn't mean I'm a raging alcoholic that's gonna go on a 3 day bender.
Jonas42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the agenda? Helping people recover from alcoholism? Because that's all I've seen from that group.
Which is not to say you're wrong about "pseudo-scientific religious" part.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:45:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it includes religious values doesn't mean it has an ulterior motive. It uses religious values because that's what they think works.
Other countries have different approaches as well. They all help to some degree.
I think it also depends on how your family treated alcohol. Every once in a while my mom cracks open a beer for herself. My dad, on the other hand, was a full-blown alcoholic.
For some mysterious reason, I've never had a problem seeing the difference between "drinking a bit by yourself on occassion" and "having a drinking problem."
It really depends on how a person was raised. Some people were raised with this irrational idea that drinking alone was like the single most alcoholic act you could possibly commit right before drinking during the day.
In a similar vein I've gotten pretty ugly looks buying alcohol at 8 in the morning when I've shown up to the store in my work clothes, clearly dirty from a long graveyard shift. It didn't matter that this was my night time and that I was just going to have a few beers before bed. In their mind "OMG ARE YOU REALLY DRINKING BEFORE 6pm?!"
Fuck of it is, when you have to go to work at 10pm, drinking at 6pm would actually be the irresponsible choice, not drinking at 8am. But people can get really irrationally stuck on some things when it comes to substances.
I feel like a lot of people just expect overnight workers not to drink because they'd only be able to drink in the mornings or during the very early part of the day (i.e. before noon), and most people dislike the idea of drinking so early. I know I myself do because it sounds really fucking gross.. I couldn't imagine doing shots of vodka at eight am, but that's because eight am is eight am for me, and I'm grouchy and tired and barely out of bed at that point.
People forget that your body adjusts to working hours like that, so it might as well be night time for your body. Your body doesn't care what the fuck the clock says, especially when it's functioning on an atypical sleep schedule.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the literature for alcoholism it's one of the indicators so I think people put a lot of focus on that but it's only telling when paired with other indicators like obsessive drinking.
I think it's just cultural. I've come across that before and I know a few people who won't drink alone. They certainly enjoy a drink or ten when other people are there tho.
In the UK it's against the rules for a commercial to show someone drinking alone in any context. It's frowned upon in drama shows and only used as a statement for hitting rock bottom. You won't see a normal well-adjusted person enjoy a drink on their own.
Lots of people see "drinking alone" on those shitty lists that are supposed to be signs of a drinking problem, and don't realize that it's only a problem when paired with things like depression, neglecting responsibilities, binge drinking etc... so they see you having a nice fifth of dirt vodka in an alley and assume you have some sort of "problem". Whatever man, I think you have a problem!
There's a big difference between having a few beers by yourself and getting blackout drunk on your own on a regular basis. I partake in the former while my brother the latter. He's an alcoholic but nobody will deal with it so for the time being we ignore it and hope he doesn't injure himself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason people think that alcohol can only be used in social situations or you're an alcoholic. I generally find the opposite to be true... I know a lot of people that disguise their drinking problems as "being social".
I think the reason there is a stigma is because people who drink alone are not simply social drinkers so are probably drinking more frequently than is healthy.
A very large amount of people drink well over their recommended daily units of alcohol without realising it. Its become a bit like smoking, people just realise that its really not good for you to be having a few glasses of wine with a film each evening.
I've been living for a few years in a region with a different culture from my own and I've picked up a lot of the habits of the locals. Drinking alone or drinking during the day is very normal here. I got so used to it that when I travelled outside of the area for the first time in two years, I noticed I was getting weird stares from others when I ordered a pint of stout at lunch. Sometimes when I'm with people I don't know so well they look shocked or make "haha alcoholic" jokes if I order a beer or any form of alcohol if it's early in the day. From my experience, the only people who have found it weird have been Americans and English Canadians. I've never had Europeans, Quebeckers, Asians, etc say anything to me.
"Drinking alone" has long been a bullet point for the checklist for alcoholism but it is by no means exclusively an indicator, though some people naively think it is.
It's pretty common. I like to occasionally drink a little whiskey and play video games. My friends think it's 'sad and weird'. But it's somehow okay if I smoke a joint and play video games. Go figure
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my country you're either an introvert or an alcoholic if you drink alone.
It's that way in my area too. We had a lady circumvent this at our restaurant by bringing her child.
Her unborn child.
hezwat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:41:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Everywhere, man. This is like the first and only question you ask to figure out if someone is an alcoholic. "Do you ever drink by yourself? .. Oh, okay." (Note to self: Chad is an alcoholic.)
Well, all right - there's a bonus question: "Do you ever drink until you black out?" but it's mostly to confirm what you already know based on question 1, that Chad is a fucking alcoholic. Everyone knows his answer is going to be "Whenever I have a chance!"
_Dotty_ ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 22:05:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find that people who are afraid to drink alone have alcohol consumption habits that they're personally afraid of. They use going out with friends to drink as an excuse to get drunk or as long as they're not drinking alone, they don't have a problem.
Do I like drinking alone? Absolutely, I don't have to share. Do I have an alcohol problem? Absolutely not. Do I stop at the bar when I've had a bad night at work? Yep. Do I get so drunk that I can't drive myself home? Nope. Just a beer or two to take the edge off.
Totally agree with you here on people being judgmental because of their own personal fears of drinking alone.
I've almost constantly got a bottle of whiskey on reserve in case I just feel like having a grand time to myself. I work from home, and during the week I rarely have any reason to leave the house anyway. If the mood strikes, sometimes I'll have a shot or two, other times I may dip into it like I would on a night with friends.
Usually the people who get on my case are A) people who just don't drink much if at all in the first place, or B) people who are kind of irresponsible and reckless with their drinking even when they're out drinking with other people.
_Dotty_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:04:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what the great Jesus Christ said "day drinking is totally rad bro."
Agreed to a large extent. Ex-bestfriend was terrified to get drunk by himself. Poor man has a lot of demons that he tries to numb with the stuff, but his attempts to check out for a night were always far worse if he spent the night by himself with some Jameson. We both knew he was scared he'd drown himself in liquor if he was left alone.
Outwardly at bars and parties, he was the one always bragging about how much he could drink and insisted on being a "life of the party" kind of guy, without naturally being that way.
This is partly true. I would never drink alone and I think it is weird when people do. The reason I would never drink alone is because the only time I drink is if I'm planning on getting drunk. I don't understand drinking alcohol if you're not going to get drunk. When I was younger, I would get drunk at least once a week, usually two or three times a week though. Now that I'm older, I only drink alcohol once a month at most, probably more like once every couple months. I would never get drunk by myself ... that doesn't seem fun at all. I would just fall asleep. I don't even like to get drunk if there are only two of us. Drinking is a group activity in my book.
That being said - I don't eat healthy, I just eat whatever I want. Cookies for breakfast? Totally fine with me. I'm not fat because I keep track of calories. So I don't waste calories on things like pop, juice or alcohol. I just drink water. Drinking a beer for no reason seems like a waste of calories to me.
_Dotty_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:04:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking to get drunk is fine when you're celebrating something or just in good company. Even if you're drowning your sorrows but I mainly drink alcohol because I love the taste. Beer is one of the greatest hobbies ever. There's so many different kinds of beer to try and they all taste different. I think of it more like a poor man's wine. There's millions of different breweries from around the world and they all make different styles of beer. I'll probably never get to try every beer in the world but that's not going to stop me from trying.
I kind of think of it like cookies. I don't really like sweets at all but man do I love a good beer. People treat themselves in different ways. Beer is just my treat.
I can understand that. I don't think there is anything actually wrong with someone drinking a beer just for the sake of drinking a beer... It's just not something I do, so I don't really understand it. That doesn't make it wrong though and I don't think I would even notice if I walked into someone's house and they were drinking a beer all by themselves, unless they made a comment and pointed it out that they were 'drinking alone'.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:34:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love drinking by myself. I never get to do it anymore though...but man, I loved putting in my ear buds, drinking and, believe it or not, cleaning. Also, video games and detailing my car.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes, beer and gaming. If you ever see me on a CSGO map/battle, be sure I already had a few. But beware, my friend. My trigger is always sober.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 21:41:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I personally love drinking alone. Girlfriends out, long hard week, nothing to do but relax....
I love kicking back and getting sloshed to a favorite movie or TV show...it's relaxing, fun, and I feel ally of stress wash off when I'm chilling and collecting my thoughts.
People that freak out at the idea of drinking alone are probably more prone to alcoholism than we are because they don't understand a mature form of self control.
Edit - I'd like to add that the idea that it's somehow acceptable to get hammered at a bar or party where you're chances of collateral damage are much higher rather than in your home where your safe and probably not going anywhere is a concept that has always confused me....
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:33:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's an age thing? When you are younger drinking alone is associated with problems, it's mostly a social activity. As you get older, alone time or free time becomes a moment of peace to enjoy whatever you like. And if you like having a drink or even a few it shouldn't be a problem. Of course moderation is the key.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:51:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I agree. I've noticed recently that parties are high tempo bars are just not my thing anymore. If I want to drink with other people, it's with close friends on the patio of our neighborhood bar where I can walk home safely, or its grilling burgers with friends and family at one of our houses. Drinking is a freeing experience for me, it's a way I relax because I know my obligations are taken care of, my week is winding down, and I can just melt into a chair and fuck. ing. chill......
Sometimes that's alone. I relish those moments...just me, my favorite beer, my favorite show streamin on the PS4, and not giving two fucks what anybody thinks cause it's me-time.
To directly address your question....I dunno when it happened. Age-wise I mean. I think it was some time I was in a club or a party and it was about 10:30 and I looked around and just thought....I don't want to be here anymore. So I want home, cracked a beer and threw on some American Dad, and realized I was fucking criminally content.
Guess that's what growin up feels like...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:44:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. It's great sometimes to just sit on the patio by myself and drink. Get a really good buzz going and just relax. No noise. No people pressuring you to drink more. So good.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda replied to you too when I replied to U/-DinosaurX-
Im in my early 20s and one of my favorite activities is to sit out on the front porch after a long day of work by myself with a 6 pack, my bluetooth speaker and computer and just drink beer, listen to my favorite music and reflect and let my mind wander and do what it will while I relax and unwind. I don't get to do it as much as I used to but I am currently on the porch now and enjoying myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen to that. Drink one for me! Two or three if you get around to it :D
People are more prone to alcoholism because they are typically more sensitive to it. They genetically have less Alcohol dehydrogenases that can break it down. Some people get sun burnt, some people get thrashed.
My mom is this way. If I get off work early at 2pm or so and feel like having a goddamn glass of whiskey, that doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic or possibly on drugs or in need of help.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen brother preach it. Can't have a glass of whisky without sneaking it out of the hall.
ashcore ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:38:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy drinking a couple glasses of wine by myself. I think the idea of it being unacceptable for me personally stems from school programs like DARE. If you drink for any reason, alcoholic, by yourself, check into rehab.
I have a glass or two of wine pretty much every night, and like you I'm really not sure if it's a problem or not. I'd say that, in a way, it is definitely a psychological addiction but one that I feel I could break fairly easily. Maybe we should take a month off just to prove that to ourselves.
claryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a break was good for me. I think I could have slid into something bad if I didn't. I was having kind of a boring in-between period of my life and was drinking 3 glasses of wine or so a night. I didn't think it was a problem until my life started to get busier I thought "I won't drink anything tonight, I should be productive," then the end of the day would roll around and I would think "Eh no, I want to."
After a few days of that I thought okay, time for a definite break before this may become an issue. And it actually was pretty damn difficult to stop for a while, so it was the best call for me.
Nope, this is my routine. Working in construction requires daily alcohol consumption. Or any job that your boss is a dick hah
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Absolutely not. It's only an issue if you start having health problems or start having issues in your personal life because you're drinking and can't do other things/personality issues when you drink. I probably have a beer and a glass of whiskey (or two) 5-6 nights a week and I have no issues with it. I'm never an asshole, I don't do it if it will interfere with things I need to do, I never drink and drive, my wife has never raised a concern, etc.
Don't worry so much.
Brym ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:48:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be concerned if you notice that you're progressively drinking more and more. When you can't remember the last time the glass didn't turn into 2 or 3. When your pours are getting heavier and heavier, such that the 3 glasses you had last night would have equaled six of the glasses you had last year.
Right now I've got Oban 14 and Macallan Director's Edition (a year less vintage). If you can find the Macallan (Costco is where I get it) you won't regret it. Smooth and oaky and wonderful.
DrobUWP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
now that's more like it! nothing like a nice single malt of at least 10-12 years. I'm currently working through a Glenlivet 12 and a Glenmorangie 10 (prefer the latter)
maybe it's just where I'm from that it seems normal to enjoy a quality drink alone, but that guy's friend seems like the odd one here.
I did have a roommate in college who went through no less than 3 30-packs a week of cheap beer. now that guy had a problem
I have such a problem with this! Not with people judging me, but with me thinking that I'm going to become an alcoholic overnight because I have a rum and coke on a Tuesday night on my own. Doesn't help that I have alcoholism on both sides of my family so I'm hyper aware of it, even though I never have more than one drink, even on weekends.
I think the worry and anxiety is a bigger problem than the behavior itself.
I never understood the problem with this, like sometimes I'll have a frozen pizza from a local shop which is just a quick 10 minute oven job, and i'll crack open a beer because they go well together, no issue what so ever!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is no problem with this. How do people not understand that the stigma is against getting drunk alone, not have a drink alone.
I used to think that it was weird to drink alone, but I also have alcoholism in the family so I'm hyper-aware. I would occasionally have some wine or beer by myself but generally wouldn't drink unless I was with friends. Then I started getting home from work and stopped wanting to make the effort to go out and spend a lot of money. Now I drink at home all the time and am perfectly content to enjoy a beer while watching TV or doing my boring housework.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't get shitfaced by myself every night without cracking a few beers! Right?
I usually only ever drink wine by myself. I think the people who get concerned are those who themselves cannot drink for any other reason aside from getting drunk. And I'm the one with a problem because once a week I have a glass of wine while I take a bath? Get outta here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. I mean, if you're sitting around drinking from the bottle it is but if you pour a normal drink it really isn't any different than pouring a glass of wine.
Drinking a case of beer while playing games online with your friends on a saturday has always been a sort of ritual for me.
ejambu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in New Orleans and this is very normal. I drink by myself. I have a beer or a glass of wine when i get home from work. If my boyfriend isn't home, I'm always drinking alone. Never thought it was weird.
I don't know man, drinking alone just seems like a REALLY bad idea. Why do you need alcohol if you are alone? You are just damaging your body in many ways... I save alcohol for the times when it really helps to be socially uninhibited. I have some friends who drink alone and 90% of them have been borderline alcoholics all the years I've known them. You should do whatever the hell you want man don't get me wrong! But maybe a sub for alcohol might be something you want to look into.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember the first time I got drunk alone... I had just lost my job and I downloaded a fuckload of South Park and I drank beer and watched hours of South Park in the middle of the summer.
Same. I'm a grad student, so I drink alone frequently. It's a great way to unwind after a long day, particularly if I worked and had class. I don't get trashed mind you, but I wouldn't be opposed to that after a really rough day every once in a great while.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The stigma is against getting drunk alone, not having a drink alone.
My favorite part of the night is unwinding with the AC on, the TV and a beer. Today I floated in my pool by myself with a nice shandy and was happier than a pig in shit.
Wait, drinking alone is unacceptable?! Sometimes on weekends I would mix myself some drinks and just watch a movie or something in my dorm room alone and those are some of the most relaxing nights I've had
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drink alone everyday but it's mostly because my kids don't drink. Cheers!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, I like trying out new whiskies alone. I pour myself a glass, fire up a movie, and get slowly basted all afternoon and go to bed happier than a clam around 9 pm. This isn't very often, maybe once every couple of months when I throw down some scratch for a bottle.
I've never heard of this. I regularly have a wine on my deck after work and I've never thought of it as unusual. Maybe if I drank two or four bottles and passed out in a pool of my own wine vomit, but I hardly ever do that.
I don't think anyone really has a problem with the "had one drink with dinner" or sitting down (unless someone does it literally every night, then it's getting a little more borderline). It's more the "I get buzzed or drunk by myself" that's a problem.
Once I had a glass of red wine with dinner on a Wednesday and my roommate freaked out. "How could you drink on a weekday...?" I don't understand his mentality....
I've gotten to the point where I have 2 or 3 beers almost every night after work as my daily routine to unwind...is this bad? I'm legitimately worried that this isn't okay now and I don't want to continue a trend that will lead me down the path to alcoholism.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch, no wine for you.
"Well wait, hold on. I mean, I'm here now so like, neither of us would be drinking alone anymore!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah. Nothing beats sitting down after a long ass day with a cold.beer and some PlayStation.
I first heard about the whole drinking alone stigma when I was in high school which, at that age, is kind of a good stigma to avoid. Maybe the stigma persists into our Adult life as some sort of vestige from high school? From back when it had a purpose but now no longer applies? There's a difference between having a couple of beers alone when your underage to having a couple of beers alone after work as an adult. Or am I just a hypocrite?
I like to get piss drunk. I'm high functioning.
Not all alcoholics have problems/are rage enducers.
Some are unhappy, some are better drunk than sober (polarizing opinion here come the pitchforks)
Smh. Of course it's poison but I'm not hurting anyone else.
extant1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm enjoying some scotch while I catch up on shark week.
Drink on people.
hajjr6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're sharing a drink they call loneliness , but it's better than drinking alone.
Sbeeez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't associate yourself with those kind of people. Solo wine night is the shit, yo. +1 if it's solo wine night with your cat
Agreed. To add to this, I also don't see the big deal about drinking alone at a bar. Again, within reason. I love the atmosphere of my favorite bar/s and love to just relax there with a drink.
Besides, I've also met all sorts of people when I go alone. If I go with friends I don't meet anyone new. Additionally, I also get bought free stuff all the time. I'm a straight male and most seem as though they can't even comprehend this, but...many don't go grab a drink alone. I've gotten top shelf scotch. For free.
Also, drinking before 5pm. I work hard and long days, so on my days off I might pour some Bailey's into my coffee at noon or something. I feel I deserve it, and it's my day off damnit!
Your friend should learn the difference between drinking alone and getting drunk alone. Personally, I don't have an issue with someone doing the latter, within reason.
That sounds perfectly reasonable. Glass of wine with dinner and a movie is fine.
Jaegerbombs on my birthday when my roommate is out and I'm home alone, however...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Fuck that guy.
Odyrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that you said, "maybe".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to always smoke pot alone. Never drank until I was an adult, but now I drink alone too.
If I work, cook, clean, study, raise my daughter and spoil my wife, I don't think a drink at the end of my day is undeserved. People hear "drinking" and "alone" and fill the gap with a whole bunch of non sense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Americans are like this from my experience, and not all obviously.
[deleted] ยท 4262 points ยท Posted at 14:59:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being alone. I don't get to do it enough, so I adore being alone.
[deleted] ยท 2291 points ยท Posted at 17:42:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 802 points ยท Posted at 17:53:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true! Being alone is heavenly. Being lonely sucks, and you can do it both alone, or while incessantly surrounded by people that you wish would just leave you alone.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well in my case, it's not just being surrounded by people whom you want to leave you lone. It's being surrounded by people whom you don't fit in with.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:25:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." - Robin Williams
Forlurn ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:51:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great quote, but just because a character that Robin Williams played said it doesn't mean it's his quote.
Bobcat Goldthwait is the one who it should be attributed to.
You're right, and I love that movie too. But somehow just putting
"-- Bobcat Goldthwait"
seems wrong too.
Forlurn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, you're right. After looking into it I think that the best way to write it would have been:
"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." - Robin Williams as Lance Clayton, World's Greatest Dad
I don't think it's really necessary to say that it was Bobcat who wrote it, but it wouldn't hurt to add it afterwards.
True. I'm in this situation right now, with friends inviting me sometimes but mostly leaves me out of their plans. Sometimes I think that I would be better off without them, so I could avoid the feeling of being excluded.
I think thats what thoooper was saying with "people you wish would leave you alone". its a very good way of putting it... you're lonely so you wont leave what little social circle you have but deep down you wish theyd just leave you instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand, and I did feel that way; moreover, when I was surrounded with these people, I yearned to be better friends with them, but they were such good friends with each other already that I could never hope to get into the circle.
saga999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing makes me feel lonelier than being with a group of people I don't fit in with and don't want to be with. Being alone makes me feel free.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a great show. The story is pretty straight forward with a few good twists, but the action is fantastic and the humor is awesome. I highly recommend it (but follow a filler guide because the fillers are terrible and you want to skip them)
I agree, I feel more lonely at a party than I do playing Rollercoaster Tycoon in my underwear at 5am.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:48:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just started my first post college job and just learned this distinction. In all my 22 years, I have never felt home sick or lonely. Back in my apartment, while I was rooming with friend said, I still appreciated vast amounts of alone time.
Now I live by myself in a new city with no friends around, my parents just moved across the country, and my best friend is moving across the country for grad school.
This is the most alone I have ever felt.
Denzos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An episode of scrubs made me realize the difference.
Also, me as an example, I used to always be out doing stuff with friends. Something was always happening. I used to pray for a couple days to my self to just me alone.Friendships ended, others moved away and we all grew up. Recently I've alone a lot now wish I had friends that I can do something with.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But both are okay. If you can't handle some loneliness then you'll have problems.
Im rarely alone but constantly feel lonely. Definitely a big difference.
Shaasar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Loneliness & Solitude both mean being alone, but are negative and positive sides of the same coin
Top_Wop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Robert DiNero's famous line from the movie "Heat".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well lonely is something you feel I'm introverted so it can be irritating when others supposedly get lonely and seem to think they are entitled to my presence.
"There's a thing about being alone and there's a thing about being lonely, and they're two different things. I was alone but I was not lonely. My background was as a fighter pilot in the air force, then as a test pilotโand that was mostly in fighter airplanesโso I was very used to being by myself. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't have to talk to Dave and Jim any more ... On the backside of the Moon, I didn't even have to talk to Houston and that was the best part of the flight."
TimV55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So lonely but never alone
Old modest mouse lyrics
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why the words "solitude" and "loneliness" exist.
Hoihe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That reminded me of this video. It's worth a watch if you have the chance.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was really apt. I wish I could do some of these things, I live in a rural no where town so there's no benches, few restaurants and the closest place to go dancing is over an hour away!
Ponsh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:25:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck your edit, man, we don't give a shit what your pussy ass top comment is, shut the fuck up.
No, but really, it's super annoying.
[deleted] ยท 662 points ยท Posted at 15:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 18:38:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did it when Terminator Genisys opened. Wife was out of town. Decided. Fuck it. I'm fucking 36. What the actual fuck. It was great. I sat right up front middle. Second row.
I didn't think it was that bad. I wouldn't be giving it any awards but it was a pretty good time out watching people shooting machines, which is what we want from something like terminator isn't it?
Well yeah sort of. I'm also looking for a story that meshes well with the other terminator movies, but the third one was a disappointment and I thought the 4th was just meh.
I haven't watched the old ones in like 10 years so yeah idk about that, I actually spend the first hour or so playing catch up :/ but I've heard people talking about it as a decent sequel to T2 so maybe you'll be algood. Although if you do decide to watch it stay away from the 2nd trailer. Spoilers everywhere.
Went to see a movie alone for the first time a couple weeks ago. It made me very nervous at first, in my head I tried to act like I was meeting people that were already in.
Once I got in, I went to a seat I wanted to sit in, rather than ask the person I would have been with where they would like to sit, or if this seat was fine.
I treated myself to popcorn and a drink. I loved the experience. 10/10, will do again.
Just did this a few weeks ago for Neutral Milk Hotel, was amazing. I got all the feels I was hoping for, no scrambling to find people mid show because they went to the bathroom or the bar so you end up missing your favorite songs. I'm an introvert by nature, so I didn't say a word to anyone there and just enjoyed myself.
I've done this. It's actually better IMO. The experience was more personal for me and it was all about the music. Would recommend doing this if it's your favorite band.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had this experience! Went to see my favorite band ever, the Smashing Pumpkins alone. It was awkward at first, but then they started playing and I got lost in the music. It was beautiful. I didn't have to worry about losing someone in the crowd or whether or not they were having a good time. It was my favorite concert ever. I actually got goosebumps thinking about it as I wrote this. Have fun :D
I'm an introvert myself and I've done that many times since my friends are not really into live music and I must say it fucking sucks. Now I miss a lot of the cool shows in my city because I hate going alone I have nobody to go there with. :(
I go to concerts alone a lot. How fun it is really depends on who's playing. It doesn't really even correlate with genre, just the general crowd vibe.
My advice for anyone wanting to try this is to do it with small-scale concerts first. I find those are generally more fun to go to alone than big concerts, along with being less overwhelming in general. My first alone-concert was Electric Six, and it was fucking amazing.
The older I get, the less fucks I give about doing this. I don't have to beg a friend to come see a band they may or may not like, I don't have to cater to anyone else, and once the music starts it's not like you're missing out on amazing conversations with the friends you would have brought. Grab a beer and get to the front of the crowd and rock out.
S1ayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a huge symphonic metal and prog metal fan, i've been going to concerts alone for the past 10 years.
Been to a few by my self. You get to sit where you want and who really talks to other people while the concert is going on anyways? Great fun is always had.
Love going to shows alone. Sure, you don't have the shared experience and the excited deconstruction of the set on the way home, but you also get to not worry about whee to meet after the set, rounds and trying to talk over the din between bands.
jbg89 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always felt uncomfortable doing things like this by myself. Spent some time in a very hot place on a deployment. There was a movie theatre on base that was nice and cool. Id have 1 and a half days off per week, couldnt really leave base so id go to the theatre and watch whatever was playing during the entire 1 and a half days every week. Just 1 screen, but luckily they changed the movies up quite a bit. I probably watched 100 movies in that theatre by myself and now its my preferred way to go to the movies. When my GF goes out of town, its something I usually do. Side note, I watched Grown Ups 2 around 10 times on the deployment. Around the 7th time I actually started to enjoy it.
Your last sentence had me cracking up. One service member to another, thanks for doing what you did and putting up with what ya had to. Glad ya made it back to complain about Sandler flicks like the rest of us. Lol.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:48:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it was actually a good movie if you hadn't read the book first. I watched Ender's game, loved it, and was inspired to immediately go and read the book. When I went back to the movie afterwards it paled in comparison, but I still felt like they did a good job for a two hour movie.
Its the greatest! You pick when you get there, where you sit, no one hogs the popcorn and no one talks to you during the movie. It is absolutely heaven. For a bonus, take yourself to lunch/dinner/drinks before. Bring a book if it makes you more comfortable, but I find if you sit at a bar, people will chat you up.
It's an interesting experience. I hate when friends talk to me during the movie like making their own commentary, so it's refreshing just in your own little world.
I do it all the time because my wife doesn't like the same movies as me. I used to go with friends but got fed up with some dropping out at the last minute or turning up late. Now I go on my own, leave home early, stop off for something to eat, get to the theatre in plenty of time. It also has the added benefit of not having to answer questions from my wife during the movie - "Who is he?", "What did she say? "," Why did he just shoot that guy? ".
It's so much fun! I used to do it all the time when my girlfriend was busy, I would treat myself to a movie and dinner. :) usually at a Pho place. I love Pho.
It's fun, as long as you go to a later or early on in the day showing and there aren't six million people there. I usually do that for movies where I'm really interested in the storyline rather than just going as a social activity.
I find it's a mix of a few things. The first and biggest reason is the social reaction. When I've eaten at a restaurant alone, it felt like all eyes were on me and they were trying to guess why I was alone (such as thinking I was stood up on a date). Some people are good at ignoring the looks and others aren't. I personally am not.
The second reason is safety. This may not be an issue for everyone but I wouldn't feel safe going to certain places (like bars or concerts) by myself. Gender could play into whether this ranks high in importance or not.
The third reason is that some events can be more enjoyable with company. For example, when I go to the movies I like to discuss my thoughts about the movie after. When I go with a friend we usually grab a drink or some food and talk about what we thought about the movie. The few times I've gone to the movies alone, I just felt a little let down that I couldn't share my thoughts and reactions with anyone or hear someone else's point of view. I know some people can go to online forums to do this, but I find my satisfaction is just not the same as in person conversation.
Granted, all these thoughts are coming from an extrovert.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:48:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think gender has a pretty big influence on this. If I was a girl I probably wouldn't be so comfortable being alone often, which is unfortunate
Homing in on the cinema thing, I definitely agree that it's a better experience if you can discuss the film afterwards. But that's different to the blanket rule some people have of never settling for the subpar experience.
As a server, I LOVE customers who come in alone. Talking to interesting folk is what brought me to the industry and it gives me an excellent opportunity to do just that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone is alone because they want to be or have a choice. Also, a good server knows when they're intruding. Kinda like a sixth sense you get when you put an apron on, smile back at rude people and listen to kids screaming at anything with a pulse for a long enough period time.
Nothing wrong with being a savage! I'm the exact opposite. I tend to take my time and savor every bite. Normally it wouldn't be a problem, but my friends are all savages so it always ends up with them waiting on me to finish whenever we eat out.
Whenever my wife goes out of town, friends of mine automatically think I want them to come over, but I usually just make up excuses to enjoy the silence of my empty home, minus the audio from Netflix..
I can't really pin a reason on it either. I suppose it's the idea that outings are for social purposes like conversing and if you're along you look less natural and might even come off as out of place, lonely, or weird.
Although as I read this thread, I say 'Fuck 'em!' If I want to enjoy your establishments fucking steak on my own time, alone, you're an asshole for judging me!
You do your thing! It might feel a bit weird at first but note how much you actually care about what other people are doing when you are out. And if someone is judging, it's because they're afraid of being alone, in which case, you've already beat them. =)
As someone who spent her last semester of high school sitting alone at lunch (mostly out of preference, but it's not like I have too many friends either.. ), it gets easier.
I used to think it might be awkward. Went ahead and did it a couple of times and now I don't even think about it. It's great!
barto5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are really uncomfortable eating alone. I find it relaxing. No need to make small talk while your trying to eat. Give a book or my Ipad and I'm happy as a clam.
I think part of it has to do with social stigma. Culture/media tells us that if you're out alone, you must have failed at life. Couldn't get a friend to see that movie with you, much less a date, must be a creep/loser/etc.
I personally don't find it enjoyable to go out alone. There's just something about not having anyone to share the experience with that kills the enjoyment for me. I've gotten better about movies and eating out in recent years, but still wouldn't go to a concert or festival alone.
I once left a job I hated in the middle of the afternoon to go see the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Myself and a handful of other business dudes in suits were the only ones in the theater, it was clear we were all playing hooky from our jobs. It was awesome.
HI-R3Z ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I go out to eat or watch movies alone all the time. I receive criticism about it often but I think it's great. If I get the whim to go do something--I do it--I don't need to include others in order to experience a fulfilling activity.
edit However, as a grown man, being surrounded by parents and children while I'm crying during Inside Out by myself this past weekend was a bit awkward.
I'd like to add: I adore going hiking alone, as well. I stay on the paths (for the most part), tell someone where I am going at all times, and have safety precautions (bear spray, extra H2O, compass, etc) with me whenever I go. I never hike out overnight by myself, or too far from the trail head, so why is it that people say I'm "crazy" or think I'm horribly lonely because I do so? I don't like people holding me up, and I HATE holding people up, so why not explore by myself, at my own pace? It feels amazing to do as I wish at all times.
I love going to movies alone. I tend to be able to immerse myself much better when I am alone. It's not like I'm going to be talking to my friend next to me at the movie...that's just rude. I text them instead.
I used to feel awkward when out alone. I always felt like people were feeling sorry for me when in reality they probably never thought once about me. I realize now that the world never revolved/s around me and going places alone is so much more satisfying.
People are conditioned to always desire the company of others. I try to do everything alone, but that's because I can't stand other people, and even considering going to a vocational school or something just to avoid sharing a dorm in college.
Then again, I find the concept of love to be stupid and alien, so take this with a grain of salt.
I realized how great it was to be out alone while I was waiting at an airport by myself. Went and got some stuff to eat and drink. Listened to music. Chatted with a few people by me but didn't feel the need to continue conversation or feel bad for leaving. It was relaxing and caused me to notice the beauty of flying. I was amazed at how I never understood the fact that being above clouds is fucking awesome. 10/10 would recommend again.
It's not awkward from my standpoint. What makes it bad is that everyone has this notion that if I am out to eat alone I am 'lonely'. I don't want your stupid, condescending, pity.
My mother is the worst at this, everytime she see's someone out alone she assumes she knows their whole life story and trys to talk to them. I understand that she is wants to be nice, but it always comes off so condescending.
I designate a day a week to eating alone. I buy my weekly comic pull and go to this Mediterranean buffet where I stuff myself full of gyros. All by myself. It's the part of the week I look forward to the most.
I hate that there are so many people. I don't find the actual being alone hard. It's being alone around a bunch of other people absolutely being surrounded by other people and getting along and having their own big groups and you're just near the corner somewhere (not actually in the actual corner, there's always a group in that) on your own. That's what sucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get hassled when I'm alone, usually by workers (waiters, ushers) but also by weird people in my city. Being with someone gets people to leave me alone.
I might have this opportunity soon. My wife wants to take the kids to the Minions movie, and I might be able to convince her to let me see a different one.
I found this to be the case when I first got to University. In my opinion, the whole notion of it being 'weird' came from High school. If you are sitting/eating alone, it may seem that you are weird or have no friends.
First year in University I was in the cafe eating by myself, and it was awesome. Not weird in the slightest.
Yesterday I went to the opera for the first time in several years. It was a bit pricey so I'm glad I don't have that hang-up! I would have had to try to guilt somebody into spending $155 to come with me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always seen it as rather odd that people rely on groups when they want to go out in public. Is it a safety in numbers kind of thing?
Eating alone? It depends on whether the waitstaff is weird about it. I was reading a book once and decided to go read it at a restaurant nearby that was named after the book, and the waitress acted like she needed to sympathize with me for being alone, when really I just wanted to read my book...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it slightly awkward to eat alone at a restaurant, but I do it anyway. I don't find it awkward at all to see a movie alone.
At first I did, but then after multiple times it was perfect! Cheaper, I could be totally immersed in the movie, hell, if I was out eating, people talk to me, I'm fine with it, I'd feel awkward with a friend. I enjoy going out alone, but I'd admit, sometimes it can be depressive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially movies personally. It's not acceptable to talk to the people you're with, so why is being alone such a big deal.
I love going to the movies alone because I get to chose the movie, sit where I want, and eat as much popcorn as I want (without having to share and have someone's grubby fingers in my popcorn).
I went to the movies by myself once and it was so great. I had so much fun. I got a drink and popcorn aaaaaaall to myself. It was probably the greatest thing I've ever done.
I travel a lot for work, so when in a new city with only co-workers whom I may or may not yet know or get along with, I do this frequently. It can be really, really nice.
But would you go to the club alone?
I am such a loner. I have really honed my loner skills in the last 3 years.
I am a master of an Irish goodbye.
I live alone.
Go everywhere alone.
When I see my friends out they always want to ruin my fun by joining me. Then it's just a lot of silence and suddenly I'm gone.
But I need them - for the club.
I am around people 70+ hours a week. My time is precious.
Have you ever seen something really funny that you want to share with someone near you when you're watching a movie? Going to the movie alone you would never share your feelings at the time
This i never understood to be honest. If i want dinner somewhere i usually just order it to go and i eat at home. I feel very uncomfortable being by myself in a public restaurant. Same with movies. If i cant find a date or someone to go with, ill wait till its released on Netflix and watch it then.
People who go to these things alone are braver than me.
I am hilarious, I have the best hobbies and interests, and I love the greatest movies and TV shows. I am my own best friend. I love being alone. Idk why people feel the need to have constant contact.
I have realized how under-appreciated being alone is since I became a stay at home mom. I've gotten to where I'll stay up until 3-4 am some nights even though I know I'm going to miss out on sleep when the kids are still up at 7 just because those few hours where the house is quiet and I can just be alone without anyone talking to me or touching me is precious.
I recently quit working nights and it's been very hard to adjust to a daytime schedule because I stay up too late for the same reason. I'm used to having an hour or so to myself after work. I even find myself getting a tiny bit cranky when my family doesn't go to bed on time because I was so looking forward to my hour of "me time".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain. I stayed up to 2 yesterday and slept thru my alarm this morning. Was late for work and super lucky I didn't get in a ton of shit. Could have been bad. I find I'll be dead tired at night, but then if my wife and baby son fall asleep, all the sudden I'm awake and ready to soak in the aloneness.
I just moved in with my parents after 8 years, and this is what I miss most. People my age might be ashamed to live at home but I'm not at all, my parents are absolutely rad and I'm happy to be back with them, especially because growing up i was Jerkwad 5000 to them all the time.
HOWEVER.... i miss having time where nothing is demanded of me socially. Not that my parents are fussy at all, but even being expected to make conversation at dinner, smalltalk in the car, or listen to a story in which you have no stake at all, becomes tasking if you work 65-80 hours/week. I'm very chipper at work and at home, and the way i've managed that as is that unbeknownst to almost everyone who knows me, I'm a textbook introvert. I can only keep that peppy momentum if I have my alone time, and without it I am going crazy. Now i'm just frazzled at work and frazzled at home, and both work and home assume the other is responsible.
I bought an Xbox One on Thursday, it came with The Witcher 3 and I have been playing the shit out of that game, it's so amazing and also incredibly difficult, I'm about 10ish hours in, so maybe level 6 or 7 and I STILL get my ARSE handed to me by drowners, they're always in groups man shit's hard
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being alone is my neutral state. When my room is empty it's like a limbo zone existing out of time. I could be in middle school again for all I know.
Sirspen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. People wonder how I manage to only see my girlfriend of 4 years only once a week on average. Aside from the fact that we're both often busy and she doesn't drive, I simply enjoy being alone. It's not that I don't love her or enjoy spending time with her. I just like my alone time.
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend of 8+ years because I moved away for grad school and he wanted to stay in our home state. We see each other three times per year and it's been fine. I'm looking forward to moving back and living together when I'm done, but for now I love having my own place and being alone most of the time.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:18:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm married, and we have 2 young kids, and I work in a very social job. Anytime I have an opportunity to get some alone time I usually feel too guilty to take it, because my wife gets probably less than I do, and she's even more of an introvert than I am!
Wow! Yeah, that is a lot more than I have to deal with at the moment. I'm single, work three jobs but still have a lot of free time. A family seems to be a lot of work but I am sure it is great at the same time. :) I hope you and your wife are able to find time to spend alone. I think it's important to do that as I'm sure you know. Try not to feel too guilty next time you do it! Everybody needs a break from time to time! :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well, there's an independent movie theater where I live and they show a bunch of foreign and indie movies. The first time is weird but eventually you stop caring. More people go to the movies alone than you would think.
If the weather is nice, I like to go on casual bike rides. I've recently taken up painting. It's a nice little hobby that quiets my mind. I try to read outside a lot. I usually eat all my meals alone. There's cafes, bookstores, etc. I know a lot of the activities I'm mentioning sound obvious but as I said, it can feel weird to start doing them on your own at first. I've found a of a lot of hidden gems where I live by doing things on my own, like a little boat rental shop where I've gone kayaking alone or fun little pottery place and fun walking trails. You just have to find what works for you.
I would also like to add that even though I do a lot on my own, I still have a fairly active social life. I love people but I love being alone too. It's nice to finally have a good balance of both.
If I don't have some alone time every week I start getting more and more angry when I have to do things that involve not sitting on my couch playing minecraft.
My wife understands that I need my alone time occasionally. Hell, I'm even okay wandering around in a store by myself. At least I'm just doing my own thing.
Moving somewhere new and not knowing anybody has forced me to do this. At first I felt awkward, but damn it's great to get a nice lunch, relax, people watch and eat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, too. The only time I'm alone anymore is on my commute. :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife has taken up driving me to work with the kids sometimes :,( I love them very much, and she's doing it to help me and be nice and so I can't refuse...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you believe that nothing you will do well ever matter, that is tough. I think most people struggle with this. I think it's really a choice.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What your saying is true, but in the same ultimate sense, nothing any of us do means anything. It's up to the individual to figure out what would make their life meaningful to then, and then to do it.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's your opinion. The definition of important does not specify the number of people it affects. Important: Of great significance or value; likely to have a profound effect on success, survival, or well-being.
I would do just about anything for a weekend alone. Just 48 fucking hours. I love my family more than anything but it has been years since I have had more than a few hours to myself.
I would pay serious money to be alone with my thoughts. I feel like there's always some small thing that I need to attend to, followed by another and then another.
It makes me so sad, truthfully. I would come back so much stronger and refreshed if I could just be for a bit with zero demands/requests/needs/questions/noise.
I feel bad saying any of this. I truly love my family, but it's like I can only get to know myself and follow thoughts so far before the world pulls me back.
I am extremely creative by nature. I'm not saying it's any good. I'm just saying that I need to create and it's goddamned difficult to work around all the things in a day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly how I feel. I feel bad about it too, but I think it would actually do everyone good!
I love my wife. If I want to be alone, I can just say "I need some alone time," and she'll go into the other room, take the dog for a walk, something like that. It's the best. Normally, I'm perfectly happy having her around, but sometimes I just need to be able to sit by myself and watch Netflix and reddit in peace.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much this. I've been single for a while and as much as I'd love to get a girlfriend, I think after so long being able to just chill alone whenever I want with no obligations it would just annoy me to have someone around all the time. Life is hard.
Came to the beach alone today, swam alone, ate alone, intend to see a movie alone later. Its everything I thought it could be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds heavenly
gredgex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend can't understand how I just love to stay in alone on my day off or just go drive around alone and listen to music. Being alone is great cause it's just me by myself, what could be better than that?
In western society at least it's more common to be extroverted than introverted, so introverted behavior is though of as weird and unusual. So when we do crop up, people are like "What's wrong with you, why don't you come out and hang out because it will be good for you" assuming that what's good for them is good for you. Basically, most people project their own experiences onto others and don't really understand how perspective is supposed to be used alongside empathy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the need to act like an extrovert to be normal... Or rather to fulfill my dream of one day being successful at sobering. I just realized how strange that is.
You need better friends. The way most people who are more introverted than extroverted valuate relationships is quality over quantity. I have maybe a handful of close friends, but each of those relationships is meaningful to me, and each in different ways. Fewer friends makes for more alone time, but I can get company when I want it. If someone doesn't believe you when you say you need alone time, maybe reevaluate why you keep them around.
Also, not a bad idea to talk to a psychologist. Not necessarily as in "get therapy", but just to help you figure out how you work, what's good for you, and how to recognize it and say no to the bad.
I've gone to restaurants, movies, and parades by myself. Had good times with thoughts to myself, taking in the environment, and not having to entertain someone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like that too, when I'm with people I feel the need to entertain them in whatever way this person would think is the best. Very draining.
Wow. Did you write a letter to the manufacturer? Give a two star review?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, one was the birth control pill, the other was an IUD. Both are pretty clear that they are 99.something percent effective, so as doc said, we're just super... duper.. lucky.
I love being alone too. It sucks when my friends find out I'm doing something alone and they want to join me. No dude, I still like you but today I just want to enjoy riding my bike alone or whatever else I'm doing. Some can't conceive someone might enjoy that.
You're ok. See bill Gates favorite ted talk: https://youtu.be/c0KYU2j0TM4 Watch "Susan Cain: The power of introverts" on YouTube
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
ZiptaQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love to go out alone. When I go to a restaurant, I usually get seated faster than people who bring big groups. And if I don't, I can always squeeze in at the bar. I go to the first showing of every movie I go to to avoid people's bad behavior during movie like speaking out, rustling popcorn and candy wrapper and crunching popcorn with an open mouth. And most of all, no one kicks your chair while you're trying to watch the movie.
I love being alone. In fact I need to have some time to myself every now and then or I start to go a bit crazy. For some reason I've surrounded myself in life with people that are the complete opposite.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am in fact an introvert, and I do need a lot of alone time. But my social incompetence earns me more alone time than my introversion needs, so I still get lonely.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah its adorable
neumz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every couple of years I'll go on a cross country trip alone and visit people that moved away and occasionally experience a new place. My friends look at me like I need to be institutionalized, but I'm my happiest while traveling. I also think they've helped me mentally more than anything else as well.
This. I was cheated on after a 5 year relationship and being alone was my biggest fear. It wasn't until after I accepted it, I started to realize and appreciate being alone. Its amazing! Facing my fear made me look at myself and become happy with who I am.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A horrible negative turned into a positive. I dig it.
Solitude is a good way to find who you really are. It's also a good way to become crazy if you let negative thoughts get to you. You can either spend your time alone contemplating who you want to become or contemplate about all the friends you wished you have. To be honest, I was never truly alone or lonely if you asked me. I have a friend who kept watch over me and made sure I never succumbed to negative thoughts. I am truly grateful for this experience we call life so I am in great debt and the only way I can repay my friend is to do good in the world. Thank you, God.
check35 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you one of those introvert extremists. Needing to recharge like a cell phone
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely
lfergy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before I was married I would just stay at home and do things on some nights. That legitimately sounded like a better use of my time, and was usually way cheaper. Plus I really hate crowds and loud places. I got some hell for it from friends, but it was what made sense to me.
Wife and kids now, so the alone time is much less often. When I do have a day off and I'll be alone, she will try and get me to take her car in for an oil change and then other tasks that will take the whole day. I love my wife, but no. I have a limit. Time is needed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
newborn baby at home. God I miss it.
DaUrn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just love not having to deal with someone else. Like talking to other people about their problems and such. I love being alone.
I married a beautiful woman who has a beautiful daughter, both of whom I adore and love having around, but when I do sometimes get alone time I LOVE it! I have really learned to appreciate being alone
I feel you buddy. When i can be alone, its the highlight of the day. I work retail, and having a stream of customers and co-workers in my face all day really wears on me, then I come home to a SO that wants to spend time with me. Its such a relief to get a day to myself
Delsana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could trade my serious loneliness for your social state.
I have always been surrounded by people. Working in retail, having a large, overbearing, Italian family, tons of roommates... I moved into my own apartment a year ago. I have never been so happy. I do get lonely on the rare occasion, but more often than not I'm just relaxed and at peace.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are very few occasions where I am actually by myself for reasonable periods of time. Its a shame really.
Ta11ow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like being alone, but I do it a bit too much; it gets lonely after a while.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's really the best. I look forward to times when my fiance leaves town. Just me and my cats...and her stupid dog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this stuff all the time. Now that I'm married and have two kids, being alone is like getting the Golden Ticket to Wonka's Factory. Fucking priceless.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I'm married with two kids now too! Alone time is my white whale.
and this is why I have been more or less single since my brief marriage way back in my 20's. I cannot for the life of me understand how you guys can do that and know that is what the rest of your life will be like. If I wasn't so busy doing whatever I want to do when ever I want to do it I would probably stop and admire you for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2 small children, I don't even get to use the toilet alone, or have a bath without someone coming in for a chat or to use the toilet. My baby is still in a cot in my bedroom.
I am honest to god trying to think of the last time I was alone and I can't.
I adore being alone. The closest I get now is a few hours in the evening if I watch TV while the littlies are asleep, but it doesnt count as I can't go anywhere or do anything.
I'm going to try and get my parents to take them for a day next week so I can chill by myself!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, those parent days are a godsend. Had a date with my wife last week and my parents took the kids. I fell in love all over again. Anyways I think us never-alones need to form a support group.
Try not having any friends, family or relationships for 6 years and you'll realize how stupid you were for wanting to be alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I'm stupid for wanting some alone time. If you're never alone you'll want that, if you're always alone you'll want the opposite. My biggest fantasy right now is that everyone else somehow disappears off the planet and I'm left to live the rest of my life alone. Now THAT is kinda stupid, and I know it would get old fast, but that's just where I'm at right now!
I was in your position before. I was stupid and should have spent as much time with the people who cared about me as possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair. I do think me feeling this way is pretty selfish. That's why I whine about it on reddit but keep my mouth shut in person. I'm hoping I can just get over it and enjoy the gift of having loving people around me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HOW DARE YOU?!?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know. Some would call me a sociopath.
[deleted] ยท 4051 points ยท Posted at 14:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Indy12 ยท 1730 points ยท Posted at 15:07:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I have dwarfism as well and I have never had this problem. My friends and family are always trying to get me to date normal people, or whoever I want I suppose. Also, from a genetics standpoint, if you don't have achondroplasia, which is one of the few dominate ones I believe, then the dwarfism is usually recessive. By dating another dwarf, you are only increasing the odds of your children having a disability as well.
[deleted] ยท 738 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Indy12 ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 16:48:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I'm a guy. I've got morquio syndrome though, not that people tend to differentiate a ton between dwarfisms.
Do you know what specific types of Dwarfism they have?
Pokez ยท 208 points ยท Posted at 19:51:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Dinklage has Achondroplasia. While Verne Troyer has a much rarer condition known as Cartilageโhair hypoplasia. I'm just basing this off wikipedia, but /u/vernetroyer is also a pretty active redditor, if he wanted to chime in.
/u/vernetroyer won me over with his shark costume, and quickly found himself one of the few celebs I actually care to pay attention to. Yes, active redditor and a good contributor to the site.
Dinklages accent is weird in the context of psuedo-English accents but is very consistent. I could see it believably being a mild speech impediment on the characters' part.
Huuuuge differences. One of the biggest is in whether your trunk is of average/near average size and your extremities are shortened (achondroplasia) or if you trunk is dwarfed with longer arms/legs (my weirdly rare but dominant form of dwarfism) Also whether your skull and spine are involved. Note that these all are types of dwarfism that involve skeletal proportions that are "not normal".
If the dwarfism is caused by hormonal issues, you will get a person with no skeletal problems, just tiny.
There are...over two hundred forms of dwarfism :)
we are..legion!
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:22:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So this might be an odd question, but does there exist bigotry between different types of dwarf?
Ysmildr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:50:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... If a person has achondroplasia, is it plausible that you could cut off their arms and legs and replace them with bionics and they'd be a relatively normal size? Assuming skull and spine are not involved.
There are...over two hundred forms of dwarfism :) we are..legion!
Ho shit, til
That's kinda awesome, actually
ginfish ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:27:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you know enough about dwarfism that i should ask you this question.
I suppose men with dwarfism are affected... you know... at all zones of their bodies. (I truly don't know how to formulate this without possibly offending someone or google this without fear of something finding this somehow in my search history).
Umbos ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:57:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't you read A Song of Ice and Fire? Between the legs, Tyrion is made no differently than any other man.
No, but seriously, most dwarfism is caused by a genetic mutation that only affects the skeleton. Anything not made of cartilage or bone is not affected.
A three inch man with a six inch dong would look a bit disproportionate, yes.
But my point was that since it affects skeletal structure, the penis size would be the same (for most forms of dwarfism) as average size men. Whether it looks bigger on them makes no difference to the size in and of itself.
I think my father is average sized there, even though he is mayyyyyybe 4'9". I've heard jokes about Acon (acondroplastic) men being "tripods" so....take that as you will I guess!
Yes there are there just fewer crazy little women a la Little Man lol when I went to little people get togethers (many moons ago) there were often more girls than guys. I don't have specific numbers for you though. It is possible that some of the recessive types favor one gender.
5'7" is not dwarfism. You can have that condition, but if you're over 4'10" after puberty, you're not a dwarf. Hell, you'd be a tall girl and only a couple inches under average height male. I'm sure it sucks being short, but you're not that short.
Jeez 5'7 isn't freakishly short and I'm assuming you're a straight guy and as a 5'7 girl I am considered on the taller side and I'd say about 80% of women I see are shorter than me by like 2 inches at least. I'm skeptical because how the heck could that be considered "dwarf" by any standards? They're just being mean, if you're being serious.
Just a random question for you since you said dwarfism. How do most people who have dwarfism feel about the phrase "little people"? My understanding is that is the politically correct nomenclature. But, as someone with no skin in the game, that seems like a really clunky way to describe yourself.
Is that really what most people with dwarfism want to be called or is that like the vocal minority pushing that?
Honestly I can see why people might not want to be called dwarves, as it may conjure images of folk creatures. But why did midget go out of style? To me it seems to have no connotations aside from stature.
So I know you probably have to answer these questions all the time. I don't mean malice or to annoy, but I figure it's not something I can understand from a Google search.
ligyn ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:52:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I can't remotely claim to speak for most people with dwarfism, and yes, "little person" is supposedly the preferred phrase, but a friend of mine with dwarfism absolutely hates this term.
He's a guy in his 30s... I would imagine that many adult men might not like the idea of "little" anything being part of a label for them. The way he sees it is that he has a medical condition, and he'd rather it be called by its appropriate medical term: dwarfism. Other people view it less medically and more as a part of their core identity, and I suppose that's why they prefer "little people".
_Doh_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:31:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Little people" always sounds patronising to me. I don't see what's wrong with referring to someone with dwarfism as "a person with dwarfism".
It seems an odd thing to nitpick, but all the stuff I'm reading on dwarfism is very insistent that the correct plural form is 'dwarfs'.
Apparently 'dwarves' was a very uncommon variant until Tolkien got his books out there, and is pretty much always properly used when speaking about the fantasy creatures.
They also say that when speaking of relative size, 'f's are in order, i.e., "The elephant dwarfs it's greatest fear, the common field mouse."
kjata ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:07:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that "midget" just means you're scaled down, whereas dwarfism encompasses a large subset of atypical proportions. Although, to be completely honest, I have no particular knowledge on the subject, so get a second opinion.
It did used to be used in that context, but only ever saw common usage, never in any medical field. It's basically impossible to separate 'midget' from where it was born, being used by the Middle Class in the early 19th century to equate people with more aesthetically pleasing forms of dwarfism with children, and circuses and sideshows.
sgtzee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:31:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This question might seem a bit rude, if so I apologise . Would you have a kid if you knew it would also be a dwarf?
Indy12 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:19:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I knew they would have the same kind I have, I would have to really consider it. I'm pretty happy with my life, but I went through at least 6 major surgeries to get me here, most while I was pretty young. That's a lot to deal with, and I don't know if I would want to put that on someone else.
That being said, I just started a brand new enzyme infusion therapy that could effectively cure my type of dwarfism if taken at a young age. It's too late to cure mine, but if I had a kid with my condition, they might have a pretty solid shot at a normal life with next to no symptoms.
May I ask, this new enzyme, what are the results from taking it as an adult?
Indy12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For starters, it's improving my endurance/how far I can walk. Used to only be able to walk about 300ft before, now I can make it about 500ft, and thats after taking the enzyme for a year. It also reduces the issues my joints could develop later in life, so I shouldn't have joint pain when I'm older. It may do other things, but it's so new that no one really knows.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:07:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't seek out people with dwarfism like Pokรฉmon. With friends, its not "gotta catch 'em all". The common one is having "a black friend". For some reason people try to act so progressive by saying they have a black friend. The best way to make friends is like so: 1 find someone you enjoy being around 2 be friends. What they look like, have, don't have, want, don't want, is all irrelevant.
PlayMp1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:13:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's mostly new people I meet or comments from strangers I interact with.
That seems weird to me. Why shouldn't a dwarf date an average height person? Hell, if she were cute, I'd ask a dwarf out, no problem. I'm sure it's a really god damn annoying issue to have as a dwarf, but as far as "disabilities" go, it seems pretty bearable compared to, say, deafness or blindness. I know if I had to pick a disability, it would be dwarfism. Everyone loves dwarfs.
It's like realizing how diverse reddit is when reading some of those /r/askreddit threads that call for "____ of reddit:" and scores of people respond. My favorite was one about divorce lawyers. Who knew there were so many in our community? Let alone who happen to see the post.
nixity ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:30:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask a curious - but potentially dumb - genetics question then?
Without getting into the Wiki grind of it, based on /u/Indy12 saying the Achon is dominant, how is it that average-sized parents would give birth to an Achon child?
Is it literally a point-mutation that occurs in those cases? If so.. that's actually incredibly fascinating!
Edit: Also, as an aside, for what it's worth, even for average sized adults females typically prefer taller men. So I think it's probably "easier" for females with dwarfism to date average-sized males because it's almost status quo already. My roomie in college was 6ft (female) and constantly upset over the fact that shorter men never wanted to date her, even though she was more than open to it.
There's actually a lot of diseases that predominantly exist due to de novo (aka new) mutations (think anything dominant where the person with it wouldn't survive to have their own children).
You can also get the case where mutations happened in cells that went on to form lots of the later sperm, so all those sperm cells carry to random mutation that didn't actually run in the family, but the dad now might father multiple kids with. It does complicate things when the first time the family gets told it was just a random chance mutation, and then the next kid has the same thing, and we need to then explain this aspect to them.
This is actually a huge phenomenon that body scholars investigate. Another similar thing that happens is people who use wheelchairs for mobility dating others who use wheelchairs. This literature is pretty interesting.
Edit: also, a lot of women with dwarfism are hyper-fetishized which definitely impacts this stigma differently for different genders.
Thoctar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is ironic because dwarf men dating women are more likely to be closer in height, that's just weird.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:07:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm legitimately shocked to hear this, that people insist on imposing this already-asinine standard on dwarfs, of all people. Honestly, I have always just assumed that dwarfs almost never ended up dating each other, because that's a miniscule dating pool and what are the chances? Maybe I've just been underestimating the size of the community though?
There's a lot more female dwarf pornstars than male dwarf pornstars. Not gonna say that's the science behind it, but I'm sure actual science would find results somewhere between correlation and causation.
I'm guessing that's because most porn is marketed towards men, and most females in porn are already objectified to the hilt by their target audience. The males are usually supposed to be identified with by the audience to some degree, so not wanting the object of fetishization to also be the object of identification, they have the 'thing' that classifies the porn (BBW, MILF, blondes, redheads, librarians, dwarfs) be the woman.
One can also extend this into same-sex porn by taking these roles and applying them based on who is acting at the moment and who is merely reacting to what is done to them. Most porn doesn't have things more complicated than one person doing things and the other laying there and moaning about how awesome it is.
Since women are 'smaller' I think it's viewed as more OK. I have a friend who is not a dwarf but at 5' is below average height, his girlfriend is 5'9" and even they get weird looks.
I was going to ask if you're a male of female, because I think there is a stigma again males dating taller women, but for women it's okay; so anyways I checked your post history to get an idea, now seeing how much you talk about DnD makes wonder if you role play a Dwarf in real life.
Indy12 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:30:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What can I say, I like the game. And I tend not to post outside of that sub, so I imagine my history must be pretty dnd heavy.
Aren't some of the forms of it homozygous lethal too? (I think actually achondroplasia is). So even more of a reason why, from a purely genetics standpoint, reproducing with a person without dwarfism would be easier.
funke42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:34:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
normal people
Is that a phrase you often use? I'm not judging; I'm just surprised. I don't think I've ever heard a minority call the majority "normal" before.
Indy12 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:21:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my condition is an abnormality, so I don't have a problem using the term "normal" for people without it. I know a lot of other people tend to use "average" instead, and I'll flip between the two, but don't really have a preference.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By dating another dwarf, you are only increasing the odds of your children having a disability as well.
I thought about it when I saw Warwick Davis's family. I mean no insult but I don't believe anyone would ever choose dwarfism if they were given the option. I have a problem with people who have children knowing there is great chance or even certainty that they'll be handicapped or have dwarfism. Am I so bad?
mcac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can still live a pretty normal life with many forms of dwarfism. I don't see why we should be policing who you're allowed to marry based on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When did I say anything about marriage? I'm talking about them having children knowing they will most likely be dwarfs. I'm not saying we should even consider banning it but this issue shouldn't be dismissed so easily.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an honest question. You just referred to dwarfism as a disability, while others insist it is not. Is this stance to create a sense of empowerment, or do both viewpoints have strong arguments to back their definition?
Indy12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't like to think of myself as disabled, I also can't ignore the fact that there are a large amount of physical activities that I either can't do, or a have a difficult time with. I know my own limits, but I won't let others set them for me. You can admit to having a disability without letting it define you, and without using it as a crutch. I think empowerment comes from overcoming your disability, not by ignoring it or pretending it doesn't exist.
Not trying to be a smart ass, but just because I'm taller than you does not make me "normal people" :)
Both you and op make interesting points though. Thanks for the vivid discussion!
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This may come off wrong, but do you (and other dwarves) actually date non-dwarfs? I just can't imagine anyone I know actually dating a dwarf.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just can't imagine anyone I know actually dating a dwarf.
That's social stigma at work. I can imagine people wanting to date dwarves (if nothing else, fetishes) but refraining from it because they're worried what others will think or say. Some people will think you're a pedophile.
OUCH! Pretty harsh. I mean telling a person they should skip probably the greatest experience in life because they could pass on a genetic disadvantage. You could use the same logic to dissuade the color-blind from having kids.
I can see the value to not passing on the gene -- you want your kid to have all the advantages possible in life. Are there any genetic ways to still have children but lower/eliminate the chance they get the Darwinism gene?
Do you think Game of Thrones has been a positive thing for dwarves? Having essentially one of the most charismatic and interesting tv characters of the decade be a dwarf?
[deleted] ยท 2120 points ยท Posted at 15:32:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RUN_BKK ยท 1879 points ยท Posted at 16:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stark absence
heh.
[deleted] ยท 1104 points ยท Posted at 16:47:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They finished his storyline in the last season to keep them all balanced throughout 1-4 so there wasn't anything to put in 5. They'll pick him back up (well he can't walk on his own...) in season 6
Hey, I (SPOILER) believe that (SPOILER) Jon isn't really dead. The red Priestess lady (Milisandre, Right?) can bring people back to life with some good mojo, and they just burned poor stannis's daughter so her mojo meter should be full. I expect to see more Jon Snow
It's very good, but it's definitely a character study. Dinklage is an exceptional actor. It's hard to to portray someone so introverted and quiet without coming across as flat, but he does it.
If you go into these movies expecting ridiculous , but fun, nonsense - they're great. I loved Knights of Badassdom, but i was looking to have a few drinks and watch a ridiculous movie about LARPing. I'm sure Pixels will be just about as 'terrible', but great if you're going in to watch a ridiculous goofy movie, with a little nostalgia thrown in.
yayster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The short film was cool. So it has that going for it, I guess.
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:04:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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wiiv ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:24:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dinklage is the man. I found it pretty cool that his role in X-men as Bolivar Trask was (if I remember right) absent of any mention of achondroplasia - I don't even think there were any height references of any kind. He was just another character.
From what I remember, he was cast based on his audition. They weren't looking for someone with dwarfism, so they didn't write the character as a dwarf, so they didn't cock it up with the usual stupidity.
Emmelon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:18:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Station Agent is brilliant! I love films (and tv shows, books etc) that are really driven by character and subtle relationships and The Station Agent is such a great example of that. Cafรฉ con leche, comin' up!
The Station Agent is a phenomenal film. I loved everything about it. Dinklage's performance was amazing, and the supporting cast worked well.
There's something about his situation in life that I really really related to. Helps I was into trains as a kid (and could totally see myself as one of those people who turns his basement into a giant train room).
Thematically the film feels in the same vein as A Fine and Private Place by Peter S. Beagle, which is equally a story I adore.
Oh, wow! I love A Fine and Private Place, and I've never known anyone else who'd read it. I used to read it over and over in high school, and even practice drawing the illustrations in it. I also loved The Station Agent, and you're right, they do have a similar tone. You just made my night with that reference, internet stranger.
That was my first Beagle novel! I actually read that long before I ever got around to The Last Unicorn. And The Station Agent is also terrific. That movie is why I was stoked when I started seeing Peter Dinklage show up in movies and then on GoT.
The Station Agent was the first time I came across Peter Dinklage. He was so charismatic and engaging, I remember I was comparing him to Tom Cruise after I watched it. I was totally unsurprised when he started becoming a big star thanks to GoT
I really liked it. Dinklage definitely gives a very subtle performance that works really well. And Bobby Cannavale's enthusiasm is pretty damn infectious. I loved his character.
He's really great in Boardwalk Empire as Gyp. One of the most menacing characters on that show. He's just solid in everything. Hilarious in The Other Guys and Modern Family too.
evixir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had only seen Cannavale in Third Watch before I saw him in The Station Agent and I was really impressed with him afterwards. So earnest and just desperately wants to be friends with Finn. Love this flick.
Definitely. People are making fun of Dinklage and he defends him and genuinely wants to just be friends with him. Cannavale feels like an outsider there and sees Dinklage as one as well. He doesn't see him as a dwarf outsider, just as an outsider. Like when he asks him that earnest question about whether his people have clubs. And he was actually talking about train people, not dwarves.
I randomly saw The Station Agent one day, without having heard of it at all. It was really good, and afterwards I went looking up who Peter Dinklage was because his performance was exceptional.
I'm going to chime in and say I didn't really like it. The acting was great but the whole thing was a great bore to me. It's just some regular small-town people living their lives. They have their quirks and hobbies, and we see those played out as they hang out together. But that's it. To me, there was nothing spectacular about "normal people doing stuff".
evixir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:05 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interpersonal psychology not really your thing then?
In the words of a college film professor, "it is the best film you will ever see about a dwarf that loves trains."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's exceptional in my opinion. It has some of the annoying characteristics of independent movies (that make them seem like they are taking themselves too seriously, even when it's a comedy), but it's minimal and it's just a good movie.
I liked it, but you have to like character studies. Don't go expecting a complex plot that will change your outlook or anything. But the characters feel real, and it has great, subtle performances.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:54:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like for a long time, people's exposure to people with dwarfism in the media was limited to Verne Troyer as Mini-Me and so dwarfs were kind of a punchline. I think some of Peter Dinklage's early roles reflect that. But that man has almost singlehandedly cemented the radical concept that dwarfs are just average people into the American media consciousness. Between Tyrion and the bad guy from X-Men Days of Future Past, he's done an excellent job portraying a flawed man who just happens to have dwarfism, and I think that's awesome.
Honestly it is so weird to me that height is a punchline so often. I'm a very tall woman and we're a punchline pretty often too, though not to the degree you see people with dwarfism or even just men without dwarfism who are short used as a punchline. It's rare you see anyone outside the range of 5'5"-6'3" or so on TV and their height isn't remarked upon at least 6 times per season.
Garroch ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:11:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I just thought of Dinklage's character in Days of Future Past as a dwarf. As in, it didn't even register for me. He was first off a bad guy, and 2nd, it was Peter Dinklage. I never identified the character as a dwarf, and I don't believe it is ever mentioned in the movie.
That just goes to show how amazing of an actor he really is.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:25:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not ever mentioned. After I saw that movie I was like "Wow. He just played a guy who HAPPENS to be short, and no one mentioned it." Of course I think his dwarfism had something to do with his motivations- the mutants, like him, have a genetic abnormality- but not once did anyone bring up his height in the movie.
I guess it may have to do with me being pretty tall myself, but I never got the punchline aspect with tall ladies (I loooove tall women). Like do you get a lot of "amazon woman" or what?
4077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, how could you forget about Warwick Davis playing Willow Ufgood??
I first saw Peter Dinklage in Threshold, a short-lived (and awesome!) sci-fi show about a subtle alien invasion and he was also brilliant in that - he played a grumpy mathematician genius who just happened to also have dwarfism. Check it out if you can find it!
GoT should add some more minorities. It worked out for dwarves.
BAM521 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember the books correctly, I can think of at least one guy who was described as white in the text but was played by a black man on screen: Xaro Xhoan Daxos.
I want to say he has gout or something and he can't walk, but I'm not 100% on that.
...Annnd after a google search, I am 100% on that. Yep, he has gout and trouble walking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jon and Kate plus eight helped me out. Girls were wondering about cute half Asian babies.
Then the walking dead was awesome, with Glenn getting with a babe like Maggie as well. Honestly I think I like that portrayal very well. An Asian who isn't good at math and doesn't know Kung fu. But is a badass.
I haven't really thought of his role having such a large impact but after thinking about my own personal responses, it really is huge. I remember seeing The Station Agent over 10 years ago and being somewhat surprised to see a dwarf playing the lead role, but today, I wouldn't think twice. The Little Couple on TLC has also helped me better understand the lives and issues people with achondroplasia go through. If you haven't watched it, I'd recommend it. Yeah it's reality TV but IMO, those two are the most nice and genuine people on TV.
Dinkage is also in X-Men: Days of Future Past and there are no comments about his stature, if I remember rightly. Like GoT, he is just another actor in the film.
Kind of ironic, cause in the eyes of most high fantasy, being short does make you a subspecies! I always hated fantasy for saying Orks are inherently violent, or elves inherently graceful, or hobbits inherently jovial. t's just so unbelievable.
XSplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I always felt bad that the typical small person role was always just that it was someone's boss and there was an awkward comedy skit about avoiding making short puns.
In fact, I hate when any one physical trait dictates an entire character. It's just lazy writing.
I never had the chance to actually ask this, and I mean no offense, but, do you call yourselves "dwarfs"? And is it therefore okay to speak of you as such? I always assumed it would be offensive. But then again I have no idea what would be an un-offensive term to use.
EDIT: And now I just read further down that people are already interrogating you about this. Whoops.
I mean, youre just an adult that is shorter than the average adult, I dont get why society acts like its a "novelty" or that youre a "one dimensional character." Youre just short, so? I feel similar to people who are racist, the other person is just a different skin colour, their just darker or lighter than you, why does that matter? We're all still just people.
Oh man, I love The Station Agent. It's so good and completely under-rated. I recommend it to people all the time. It's the first really positive portrayal of a person with dwarfism and makes them out to be a real fucking human being with actual feelings.
Domriso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading The Superior Spiderman and being so happy that they actually pursued the romantic relationship between Peter and Anna Maria. I'm not a dwarf in the slightest (I'm 6' 3") but it always seemed so out of place that dwarves are relegated to the position of fetish in so many people's minds.
Ugh maybe but my friend kept asking me after watching GoT if my brother who has dwarfism was an imp or a half-man and stuff like that. The other thing that bothers me is that people treat my brother too good. Like he gets treated super well by most people just because he has dwarfism. He is really popular and all the teachers like him. Sadly I believe that a big part of the reason for that is his dwarfism.
Did you ever see the Vin Diesel movie "Find Me Guilty"? One of the actors in the film is a dwarf. He plays a lawyer. The fact that he's a dwarf is never mentioned. I've always thought that was super progressive, and it came out years before GoT. It's sad how rarely dwarfs are cast in roles that don't "require" being a dwarf.
You should really do an AMA. I, and I assume others, have a lot of questions about how you live our life and how people act around you.
Having never seen those two movies, all I can think of aside from Tyrion is a one-off character named Alexander from Star Trek's "Plato's Stepchildren".
And that is fucking sad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine films like Austin Powers didn't help, though. Mini-Me is an explicit comedic play on dwarfism.
draykop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tiptoes. Gary Oldman. Other big names. Horrible. I screen this movie every year with friends and it's awful every time.
I'm so happy to read this. It's something I have been wondering about since watching the show. It makes me feel validated in believing diversity and having fully developed minority characters in the in the media makes a difference.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, it just reinforced my perception of dwarves as crafty and mischevous.
I know I'm a bit late to this party but I just wanted to chime in with an anecdote: my father, brother and I are all fairly tall guys (my dad is the shortest of us at 5'11") and while watching an episode one night my old man opined something like "Man, Tyrion is such a cool character. He makes you want to be him, which is not something I ever expected to say about a dwarf." We all agreed. I was never particularly 'grossed out' or whatever by dwarfism, but I hadn't considered that perspective. I'd totally trade places with Tyrion, dwarf or not. I truly believe that through his portrayal of Tyrion, Peter Dinklage has made life easier for the (western) dwarf. If I saw one tomorrow I wouldn't even bat an eye.
But yeah, you're absolutely right about media portrayals. Most of the time, dwarf actors are tapped for comical roles (such as in Austin Powers and Bad Santa) but even if they're awesome like Verne Troyer and Tony Cox, it's not really a 'meaty' role. While watching the first few episodes of GoT, I remember being thrilled for Dinklage having the opportunity to portray a character who wasn't just there to generate cheap laughs. I'm glad that the show has had a positive effect on your life, reading your post made me smile.
TwaHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Dinklage in elf was a great dwarf character. Come to think about it he might just be a great actor.
belinck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No love for Willow?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
belinck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He is here showing people with Dwarfism are just... People. I mean seriously, how does anyone have a problem with this who is not playing some ridiculous character in GoT?
You know, that guy is so charismatic that I had to think twice after reading your comment. My thought was..."there's a dwarf in game of thrones??" What a testament to his acting...I don't even notice the height difference any more.
h8f8kes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would rather see people admire Peter Dinklage for bringing Tyrion to life than see the mockery that was the Wizard of Oz or Charlie & the Chocolate factory IMHO.
Hell yeah, Tyrian is such a bad ass and you can tell it's because he had to deal with all bull shit that comes with being a dwarf in westeros. Maybe it's because the actor is better looking than most dwarves or even normal sized people for that matter but either way it's definitely changed how I look at dwarves.
kway00 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:52:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of battle axe do you have? Two-handed? One handed plus shield?
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 17:27:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He lives in a time and a world where being a Dwarf is something that is truly wrong. He is scorned by the masses as a devilish "Imp" and hated by his colleagues up until they get to know him.
Once they actually get to know him, they find him to be a really 'good' person and see past his appearance.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:14:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
Really sucks seeing people still miss the great commentary of the show. The whole "I've been on trial for being [a dwarf] my whole life" part was amazingly well written. I feel sorry for people who miss the point of great moments like that.
Slightly off topic, do people ask you really inappropriate personal questions? I find that when people are interested or don't understand something they tend to ask really invasive questions. For instance - pregnant I was asked if I was going to breastfeed, when she was conceived, and people would touch my belly. Now that my youngest looks nothing like me, I'm constantly asked if I adopted her or why she doesn't look like me or my SO. For the record, she looks exactly like SO did when he was a kid. But I would imagine that someone with your unique circumstances would get all kinds of prying questions.
[deleted] ยท 928 points ยท Posted at 15:07:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, saying "It's like a crevice in a glacier that could devour a mammoth" might get some odd looks, but would probably discourage further questions.
I'm NOT trying to be rude here, but do normal sized people parts "fit" like normal ?? My wife about when through the ceiling back in the day, without some serious effort on my part beforehand and she is my height. I can't imagine what it would be like for a even smaller person?
You can want an honest answer from someone, but that doesn't stop it from being a pretty rude and obtrusive question. You could probably get an answer from a medical professional, internet search, or individual who has not expressed distaste for intrusive questions.
My husband was in a wheelchair temporarily because of accident and it knew people were shitty because of the stares and mutters I'd heard in the past but it's a bit mind boggling how stupid and cruel people really are. He even had a woman in the supermarket shove his wheelchair and tell him to get the fuck out of her way.
I guess most people get the curiousity over most "body differences" questions out of the way in highschool, when we are all tactless. But when it comes to rarer shapes and sizes you might not have had chance to learn during that "expected to be graceless" period, and some people never do learn to shut the fuck up.
Hell, I'm ginger, and i still occasionally have people ask questions about my body hair. In highschool i was asked daily about my pubic hair.
People are weird.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow redhead here.
Sweet Christ on a bike, people are interested in my pubic hair.
One of my favourite pastimes is to fuck with the people who like to ask without asking, like:
So...having red hair...is your...you know...red too?
My what?
You know. The downstairs.
The downstairs in my house is generally painted white.
There's so many different labels for so many different things nowadays that I have trouble keeping up with what words I'm supposed to use and not use.
"Don't call him a midget, call him a dwarf"
"Don't call him a dwarf, use 'little person' now."
"Actually dwarf is okay again"
"Okay, dwarf is acceptable, but no longer preferred"
Fuck it, I quit. No more labels, his name is Eric, can I go home now?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:25:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I can't remember the last time I needed to specify someone had dwarfism. I know a few people that have dwarfism, but I can't even imagine a reason why I'd need to mention that. It's never really been a salient attribute.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:31:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This site has everything you need to understand proper terms and nomenclatures
You're joking, right? It's just a bunch of middle class white girls inventing problems and disorders and seeing who can collect the most special snowflake points.
Yet another person who has never had a Tumblr account, yet seems to know exactly what it is.
It's a blogging site, dude. Like Wordpress? You have a blog, and you share posts from other blogs or make your own. A lot of it is dedicated to book, movie or TV show fandoms, others to writing, science or arts, some to social justice, etc. It's varied, just like the world is. Many celebs use it. Yes, many teenagers do have Tumblr blogs - perhaps because they feel safer there and more able to express their views than on a site like Reddit because of people like you.
Also if your next comment is going to include any version of "fee fees" don't bother.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair if you're describing Jim the dwarf using his name and the other person doesn't know who you mean, that's an attribute that will narrow it down pretty quick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People of Walmart is 'people-first', but it's pretty derogatory.
Ashe400 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an adopted guy, I rarely get asked if I'm a dwarf. My parents did straight up tell me I was adopted though.
Jhago ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:22:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often wonder if it's considered rude asking the type of nanism you have? I always found the condition scientifically interesting, but I never know if I'm going to offend someone by asking it...
Bah, sorry people suck so much. I feel like so many able-bodied people don't know how to behave around differently-abled people. I've seen people not speak to someone who is in a wheelchair and ask their partner questions that should really be directed at the person ("Does he want a water?" Uh...ask him!).
I used to know a woman (a Little Person) who goes around to elementary schools to educate kids about differently abled people. She said it's such a great experience b/c kids pretty quickly pick up new habits and they always learn a lot. Sort of a rambling comment, but basically it'd be good if learning about different types of bodies and abilities was a thing kids learned in school.
*Edited for typos
JesusK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mhhh, well, most of this is curiousity, it does make you wonder how it impacts, dwarfism usually impacts on the body, but all of it? Parts? Which ones? How much? Internet is okay but not the best for accuracy. And how much does it affect you, they don't know what it is like to grow as a dwarf, so, it is natural to wonder how much struggle did it cause you.
Like, I would love the idea of hearing Dinklage talk about how it has affected his life, how he grew with it, how he became an actor, and more about the whole ordeal, because many times they are put in situations where their size is used for comedy like a bunch of roles of Verne Troyer...
And the last one, is people don't want to say anything offensive, and the overall situation might be akward, because for many it is something outside the norm, and at the same time being able to reference this characteristic of you... kinda like how it's drill into everyone that you have to say "african-american".
Um, excuse me, this word doesn't seem offensive to me (as a person who is largely ignorant on this subject), therefore you are wrong to not want it applied to you. Why can't you understand that?
Yeah, that shit sucks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I thought my battle with the schizophrenia stigma was tough, but at least it's invisible most of the time. I just hope most people you meet can forget the novelty of your apperance and just learn to accept you as a fellow human.
It's almost like some people care less about what someone feels because they're different. Once you build up a thick skin it becomes less of a downer and more of a finely-tuned people barometer.
I'm not a dwarf, I'm just short (5'5") and I get pretty much all of the things you've described in this thread other than the dwarf specific things and people wanting pictures.
I think most of the stigma is less dwarf focused and more short people focused (inb4 Napoleon complex). I don't know about you, but I find it more annoying than actually being short
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom, in her brilliant stupidity, told a dwarf "I love Snow White!"
I shit you not.
And then. THEN! She relays this story to me and tells me how hurt she was when the guy responded negatively. Like.. really? REALLY?
Haha, I just scrolled down and read this comment. Two minutes ago I posted and asked you if the label dwarf was ok or little person is better. Sorry for being one of the dickhead interrogating people!
I've also been interrogated (I feel like that's the appropriate word) about the various label
Shit...and here I was going to ask what is the most acceptable term to use. Thought I was going to be non-ignorant for a moment by asking what you personally prefer.
...now I don't know what to do. I hate myself. :(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I admire people like you who, despite the insulting and invasivness of the questions, take the time to answer or explain. All you can hope is that they will pass on awareness.
Explaining my daughter with cerebral palsy, or even my ADHD, is hard enough sometimes.
I have a black friend who got irritated by people asking him for his picture in china. I never understood it, but I guess when you realize it's not because of any of your endeavors but of something that you have no control over it might feel dehumanizing.
Since this is reddit and you brought it up, I do actually have a question about the various labels. Why does the preferred terms seem to be Little Person, that seems horribly offensive (even more so than midget), especially for a man? Not that I often have the occasion to use a term, but I think I would go with dwarf.
zincH20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what is the reason that midget isn't used anymore? like I have no idea it was just like one day somebody said don't say the M word, and I couldn't figure out why...seriously wondering...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zincH20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh gotcha ... i never said the M word and meant to harm anybody ... if that makes it any better ...
The next time someone asks about the size of your genitals tell them it's wrapped around your leg three times and tucked in your sock. When they get all offended tell them inappropriate questions get inappropriate answers.
Can you kick yourself in the head...for five dollars?
I knew a dwarf when I was in high school. He...well, he was a dwarf, and he was a capitalist. Smallest baller that town ever had. You don't have to actually answer the questions ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Is it not common knowledge that dwarfs aren't another race like in The witcher, but that it's a genetic thing? Also, I would like to add that until I read your comments, I thought midget was a normal word, and not derogatory at all.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, then let's use the witcher universe as an example then.
lumloon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been asked if my genitals are 'normal' or 'in proportion' and whether I'm angry or depressed about being a dwarf.
I've gotten this so many times with my hearing and my disabilities. It's like people don't realize how wrong they are being in making these sorts of assumptions and asking about them.
I have to admit, I've always been surprised that the term "little person" is okay with dwarfs. It seems kind of offensive to me, implying diminutive or cute or somehow lesser. I always use "dwarf" because I know it is accurate and acceptable and I'm uncomfortable with the other one even though people like you have told me that they don't mind.
I was hit on mercilessly by a little dude at a bar in Portland. I was honestly not interested for the wrong reasons (in my stupid world view, some things are intangibly unclean. Dwarves, with full apologies, were in that group). But he wouldn't let up. His general humor about our height disparity (I'm 6'4) was winning. And ten he showed me what he referred to as his "literal third leg". All told, his personality killed our casual relationship (arrogant prick, angry at the world, eventually passive-aggressive about my tallness), but holy moly that dude had a big dick for such a little guy. He had a big dick for a normal sized guy. He just had a huge dick, period.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm a giant black guy and I've gotten most of those myself. I think people on the edges like us have more in common than "normal" sized people.
In fairness, I would ask a little person what they preferred to be called (besides their name, obviously) not to interrogate but simply to learn and to be polite. I encounter a lot of genderfluid or genderqueer persons, for example, so I ask which pronouns they'd like me to use so I don't accidentally offend.
Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking you a question! Do you, like you singular not the plural, prefer to be called a little person? If not, other than person, what would you like to be called?
I find it remarkably disturbing and yet oddly touching that your experience with the tactless questions of blithering dumbasses, as a dwarf, is almost identical to mine, as a transgender woman.
I guess it's kinda funny how everyone can be reduced to "describe your privates!"
My cousin is a dwarf. Its really inspiring to see her have a sense of humor about it. When we go out in public and people stare she just shrugs it off. Also when little kids stare at her or freak out she just plays along with it. Its awesome to see how open you are, it reminds me a lot of her. People always forget that your body means nothing, there is the same exact brain in your head that everyone else has. Who cares how someone looks.
I was told by a dwarf friend of mine that he get laid a lot by women who are curious about the size of of his... little person. Has that been your experience as well. I am just thinking, that's one kin of inappropriate nosiness I wouldn't mind. :P
TELL you that you're adopted? Dude, I would punch a bitch. Do people just think dwarfism is always 100% dominant or something and doesn't show up as a mutation or isn't expressed?
No wonder there's so much climate change denial. These people need some science up in this bitch.
I have a friend/co-worker who's a dwarf and honestly he's great. The two of us make a great pair as I'm a big guy and he just about reaches my waist.
I asked him once about what he thought of words like "midget" or "dwarf" and he just said "little person" is fine. But I'd never call him anything like that because he's just a person. I always offer to help him with things I know he physically can't do but it's a rarity he ever needs it. The guy is on the school football team, he can handle himself just fine.
I think that stigmas surrounding people of any minority can only really be broken apart by actually getting to know and like someone from that group. I never knew a pure-bred German native until I spent three weeks in Germany two summers ago, and now I absolutely love the people and their country. Any stereotypes flew out the window because the image I had in my head of what Germans are like is now replaced with the facts. It's like watching a movie after reading the book; chances are the way you visualized the setting and story are now influenced by the way a director visualized it. It's the same with people.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rudeness aside, I don't mind admitting that I am curious about every single thing you've mentioned.
I find nothing wrong with any of those questions (or any questions anyone has about anything) depending on the context.
I honestly don't know what possesses people to think that randomly asking a stranger about their genitals is appropriate at all. That's something you google, or ask in one of those 'ask your inappropriate questions' reddit thread.
Ridry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And people have also asked if they can take pictures of me.
::sigh::
There are no words to express the WTF I feel upon reading that.
Honestly, I don't think that most people know the politically correct terms to use. I'm really short (5'4"), and I don't even know what the proper, or unoffensive terms are. So, I stick with calling everyone people. In your case, I'd just refer to you as a very short person, until I learn what wouldn't offend.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mb862 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I don't understand why people would expect everyone with such a condition to identify as "dwarf" or "little person" or whathaveyou. It's a medical condition that affects your outward appearance in a recognisable fashion that needs to be managed. It has no bearing on who you are. I have hypothyroidism, which is a medical condition that affects my outward appearance in a recognisable fashion (fat deposits are larger due to water retention, especially in my neck) that needs to be managed (through medication). I don't identify as a hypothyroidifac, and asking me if I did would be a silly question. Someone asking if you identify as a little person would be equally so.
Ok, thanks. I really appreciate the honest answer. Please know that I was not at all wanting to offend you, and apologize if i did so. I really did want to know this, and will put it to use, given the chance!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stick with calling everyone people.
Like your comment upthread where you refer to people without dwarfism as "normal people"? I think with pretty minimal effort you could come up with terminology less offensive than explicitly confronting a person with their abnormality.
Yes, when comparing two people where one is a dwarf...the one who isn't a dwarf would be referred to as 'normal'. Like it or not, I didn't invent the language, or the logic used to cipher it.
J0RDM0N ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:52:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to ask this because out of curiosity and I would probably never ask this is person but I am curious if your dick is proportionate to your body or of it is like huge (like 7+ in)
In personal experience, people will pretty much ask whatever the hell they feel like if there's something "novel" about you. I'm trans, and the amount of people who think i want to have a casual conversation about my genitals or, god help me, how I have sex is unreal. It's like "Friend, I just met you, fuck off"
glaneuse ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:22:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Time to start asking them about their genitals, see if they like it. So, bro, are you circumcised? Girl, you got a flappy labia or one of those little scrunchy ones? What do you mean, that's a personal question? You were just asking me about my junk, its fair game.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:22:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like someone who would ask a dwarf about his cock wouldn't really find it awkward to answer questions about their own genitals, as long as it was on topic.
I'm fairly awkward in conversation anyway, so like, that's a personal fantasy where i publicly shame them and everyone has my back, but like, i mostly just give them a polite "none of ur fucking business"
the "how i have sex" thing actually bothers me more because the answer is literally alway "stimulation til orgasm" for everyone o the god damn planet im not special or novel leave me the fuck alone.
I have a trans friend (male to female), and she told me that a disturbing number of people, when told that she's trans, will almost immediately ask about the current status of her genitals. That would be awkward coming from a close friend, but who the fuck thinks it's in any way appropriate to just jump straight to "oh cool, have you had your dick cut off yet?"
I think its just pure curiosity. I used to get the most ridiculous questions when people found out I was from south africa, including.whether I had pet lions or why I was white. I got offended for a while, but eventually learned to go along and have fun with it. There are still a few girls out there who believe the right of passage for south africans is to yank a tooth from a wild lion, and my family left because my little brother refused and we were run out of the country
Yea, but you also can't expect every person you meet to behave respectfully. They might not even realize they are being offensive or how dumb their questions are. Its definitely better to just have fun and start giving th bogus answers, see just how crazy answers you can get away with
This can be a weekly, extremely invasive event, I sure hell have enough respect for myself to know that this shit is unacceptable, and I'm gonna be mad. It's dumb and rude to ask about a stranger genitals or sex life and anyone who doesn't realize that is socially inept in the worst way
Once again, I realize this. Which is why I'm not asking these questions myself. But is it really worth it to sit there and let some random person upset you on a weekly basis cus they don't understand their questions make you uncomfortable? I mean, that seems like a lot of wasted energy to me, especially since you can turn their dumb questions back on them and have a good time with it instead. I guess I just don't understand the point of getting offended.
You don't see the point in getting offended? There's no point! It's a human reaction and completely justified. Although one could argue that another 'point' in getting offended is that it leads to many social justice movements, because people don't take that shit lying down. I realise there's great risk in even using those words on reddit.
the only people who say shit like "dont yourself get upset" are those trying to remove fault from the guilty party and place it. "Just deal with it" is not a solution, it's letting people.
I really truly don't think you understand what dysphoria costs my mental energy and wellbeing. If it was as simple as "don't think about it" then, don't you think i would have fucking done that already. People casually bring up some of the most painful shit i have to deal with day in and day out just so they can get their kicks learning about "the freak" and I'm just supposed to be cool with it? No chance.
Heh. The way I see it, you are almost turning yourself into a voluntary victim instead of controlling the situation and coming out on top. You can't control what others do or say, only how you react. Reacting by being offended means the only person coming out of the convo upset or in a bad mood is you. I would never let some asshole have that effect on me. Turn their stupidity back on them and walk away smirking. My situation isn't as enotional as yours, simply being from a different country, but I think my view can be applied to both situations and doing so ends up better for you.
some fucking asshole: "learn to love it or you're making yourself the victim"
Alternatively, we could hold grown adults accountable and not try an turn it on me, because it makes me feel like shit to have invasive questions asked of me. If yo're not trans you have no place telling how to deal with shit you have no frame of reference for.
Ok fine, go come up with a plan to change every single person on this planet's behavior to make sure no one accidentally offends you. Im sure there is a realistic solution out there somewhere. But until you do, why not try what I said and try not getting offended so you don't end up upset anytime someone asks you a question.
You don't seem to get it. Dysphoria can give me a panic attack, fuck up my whole day, make me want to die. These invasive discussions bring up dysphoric feelings. I know i can't change every-bodies behavior, but i sure as hell have the right to be fucking mad about it.
What's your goal here?
God, my boyfriend is trans and it's the most bizarre thing. I particularly hate the kind of roundabout questions when you know what they're trying to ask because it's disgustingly obvious.
"So you like him, but you're gay. So does he have a vagina?"
Like shit I'm gonna tell you, dumbass.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have red hair and the seriously inappropriate questions are constant. God, Kick a Ginger Day was hell in school. People will just come up to you like being different is a God-given excuse for them to harass you with the most idiotic questions. Why? Oh, they're just curious.
"Hey, how do you feel about the saying that all redheads are great in bed?"
"Is your pubic hair red, too?"
"Did your parents ever treat you differently compared to your other normal siblings?"
"Do you have a soul?"
"Do you hate having hair like that?"
"Do you have a temper?"
And then God forbid you tell them that they're being inappropriate. They just blink at you innocently. People don't seem to understand that when they ask me those questions in public, it's embarrassing. And if I tell them to leave me alone about it or fuck off, they just smile and joke, "Oh, well, I guess the whole 'redheads have a temper' thing is true after all."
Counter act with, "Oh, well, I guess the whole (depending on their hair color or what have you)'brunettes/blondes/bald people/etc being rude' thing is true after all." Sorry you have to deal with these weirdos.
One of the worst things about that is that people direct their attention towards objectifying trans people, asking if they've had surgeries, etc. It also distracts from real issues, like violence and workplace discrimination.
Genetics are a funny thing. I bet your father gets a kick out of you looking like him. Yeah my SO is one of those people whose looks changed as he got older (hair color, build) so strangers think my youngest is a mailman's baby.
I never understood, who cares if you are adopted? Is it really any of their business? It doesn't make you any less a child of your parents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's father is Filipino-American. Her mother was born in Texas to a Polish-American father and a mother with a very sort of typical white American melange of European ethnicities - British, Irish, German, et cetera. She's also dyed her hair blonde since she was a young mother.
It's impossible for the family to count the number of times my mother-in-law has been assumed to not be part of the group of her brown-skinned, black-haired husband and his two tanned, dark-haired children.
"So, when was she conceived?"
"When me and my husband fucked, why do you ask?"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:12:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, pregnant women are like huge magnets for awkwardness. My coworker was pregnant last year and some lady got offended when she said no after being asked to feel her stomach. I don't get why people think being pregnant makes someone's body public property.
Indy12 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:29:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the time, but part of me enjoys it cause I can be a snarky smartass about it. One time someone asked me, and I quote, "So how long you been...you know...like that?" complete with long pauses. I just kind of looked at him and went "Well one day I woke up and none of my clothes fit."
Had another guy ask if I knew that I had "Kind of a pointy chest" while making a pyramid shape over his own chest to show me what he meant, and now that's a running joke between me and all my friends.
I think humor is probably the best way to deal with stupid people. Good for you for taking it all in stride. When I was pregnant I wasn't nearly that gracious about it and I only had to deal with it for a few months.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP but my wife is a foot taller then me (I'm 5ft and she's almost 6ft) and we get a huge amount of looks and comments. I sympathize with the fact that you aren't seen as "normal" and it makes me a bit self conscious. My wife just laughs at all the attention.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
invasive questions [...] if I was going to breastfeed,
Honestly, I've never even considered this to be an invasive question. Well, I've never asked this question off-topic either, it is the norm where I'm from anyways.
But I guess it shows that there are a lot of questions that seem normal to the uninitiated, but invasive to people with a different cultural background.
Holy shit. I've never understood that. Why the FUCK would people think it's okay to just walk up and touch a pregnant woman's belly and start asking personal questions? I'm very overprotective (my friends call it a "guardian complex"), so if my wife were pregnant and some stranger walked up and put their hand on our unborn child my first instinct would be "threat" and I would not be nice about telling them to back the fuck up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As if you would just ask him if people ask him inappropriate questions...
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find that when people are interested or don't understand something they tend to ask really invasive questions.
"When people are interested they tend to ask invasive questions?"
Really? You don't feel that's a touch, uh, massively overgeneralizing?
For instance - pregnant I was asked if I was going to breastfeed
Oh jeeze. I have a coworker with a baby (the cutest fucking baby ever) and pretty much every time I mention her or her baby my mom asks if she breastfeeds. Uhhh I'm not going to ask my coworker what she does with her boobs. We're friendly and shit but that's not something you ask people you aren't good friends with. It's not my business.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think asking if you are going to breastfeed or when the child was conceived are invasive. Those are pretty normal questions to ask. You are just uptight.
Well, and how many people do you meet in your life that you think are good enough to marry? It takes a long time for people when they have no limitation to their dating pool. What are the odds that when you finally DO meet someone with Dwarfism that you are going to have one damn common interest with them? It's beyond silly to have this expectation for you. You do what you're doing! I support you!
I'm going to ignore the insulting question of whether you should or shouldn't date other people with dwarfism and just look at practicality for a moment. I think 1 in 12,000 is about the most generous number you could put on dwarfism from all causes (probably much less). That means in a massive city like New York there would be no more than 700 people, again, probably far less. That is not a large dating pool. Then factor in similar age, it drops substantially. Only then do you get to things like physical attraction, shared interests, etc.... It's like telling someone they can only date people who live on their block. If none of them are right for you, well, too bad. Spend your life alone.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:00:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that's gross. Look at Peter Dinklage. His wife is a foot and a half, maybe even two feet taller than him. I'm sure they have problems, every couple does, but they're happy, they have a kid, and they're a completely normal couple. If people think that you should be restricted to dwarf women then they can go fuck themselves. You're a human just like every other person on this planet and you should be able to date whoever you goddamn please. Just try not to date Lorathi whores, my friend. Doesn't end well.
In sort of the same vein as you, I'm a tall girl with the expectation of dating an even taller man. I'm 6'1" and I've dated guys 5'6" or shorter. I've also dated guys taller than me. But when I was with the shorter guys I actually had people tell me I should be dating guys my height. If it doesn't matter to me or the guy, why should it matter to anyone else?
It is so primitive though. As a species we have gone way past size being a necessary factor in selecting a partner. Within limits obviously. Being 2ft or 8ft obviously can possibly lead to health complications. Not to say that people even at those extremes are undateable but height definitely does factor in at that point. But people finding value in mere inches of height is crazy. A guy that is 5'6 is short, 5'10 is tall "enough". Yet it is 4 inches of difference. That is around the size of a GI Joe figure or something lol. Who cares?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:29:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a classic example of the "i haven't thought of something before, and I don't understand it, therefore I'm afraid of it" scenario.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:51:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny that you mention interracial dating. I'm Asian and I dated a black girl when I was younger. As an aside she was also taller than me by 2".
It's not just the dirty looks or the comments we'd over hear. People would walk up to us, stop us, and tell us that our dating was wrong. And this was the early 2000's.
People have some weird ass ideas about who should date who. Although virtually no one says anything when I date a white girl.
I hope you know that the people saying only fetishists would date you are wrong. I'm an average sized lady with no issues dating someone shorter than me, or dating someone who isn't "able bodied".
If you're a dwarf who is able to accomplish everything you want to accomplish with your body, are you or are you not able bodied? How do you feel about that term?
Your thread turned into an AMA. Does that happen every time you say you're a dwarf?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be pretty averse to the idea of being intimate with a non able bodied person. Then I got a degree in psychology and a minor in sexuality and took a class on sex and disability, which was fucking awesome and completely changed how I see sex. We watched one documentary where this quadriplegic guy fucked his girlfriend with his arm and experienced orgasm by having his ears licked and stimulated. Mind blowing! There are so many ways to have sex and be a sexual being. I stopped seeing non able bodied people (thanks for your explanation of that term, btw) as non sexual. I hope there are some other ladies in the world who feel similarly and wanna get to know you.
One cool thing is that you can write in complete sentences, unlike a large percentage of online daters, so you have that going for you... Which is nice.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:19:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:25:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was kind of thinking out loud with that question. I thought that with average height and dwarfism it would have been a 25% chance, but I was confusing it with recessive inheritance.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:28:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im a short man at 5'2". The stigma is real..
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually dating a guy your height (I'm 5ft3). I rarely run into guys shorter than me so it was novel experience to actually be the taller one for once. The stigma is stupid imho.
Do you feel guilty after you masturbate, it's dwarf tossing after all.
snorlz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats annoying as fuck. Its the same thing with people who think you should date your own ethnicity and only try to hook you up with people who are your race. I might be asian but i grew up in the midwest and I like white girls more than asians usually. stop telling me to get with every random asian girl you see
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is and it is because people always jump to sexuality when they see a couple where there is a size difference. In addition to a dwarf / able relationship, you also see it in the cases of people like basketball players who are 7+ feet tall with partners that are barely more then 5', you see it with tall women who have trouble finding partners due to the stigma that women should be with taller men (which also plays into the stigma you face), and even with fat/thin partners. People just look at the pairing and start thinking, "How does that work in the bedroom?" When they try to insinuate that you should only seek another dwarf as a partner, they don't even take into consideration that dwarfism is not a common minority. Despite the number of conditions that cause dwarfism, it remains a relatively rare condition - people see racial minorities every day, how many see even one dwarf daily? It isn't like you can just go down to the bar or the club and mingle with dozens of others.
As a male dwarf, people see your size and assume that since you are smaller than a normal person with no disabilities, that therefore you must be smaller ahem everywhere ahem and thus go into the mindset of "he could never pleasure a woman", which is incredibly presumptuous and discriminatory of them. What these people fail to consider is that it doesn't matter if you're carrying a thumbtack or your own personal kickstand, the thing that matters most in the relationship is the happiness of both partners. There was a woman who replied in this thread who mentioned being over 6' tall - if you were to date an above-average height woman like her and both of you were happy, who the hell should have any say over that? As long as both people are happy with the relationship, they will find a way to make everything else fall into place and nobody should have any say over who you or anyone else can seek happiness with.
Spear99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you've got Peter Dinklage making being a dwarf seem like a proper badass socially, and Gimli for the physical side, so I would imagine it can't be THAT terrible ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Spear99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was referring to portrayal socially. Keep in mind the mental image of dwarves for the public used to be "step right up to see the freak" at circuses. I would say current portrayals are much more favorable and help to reduce the "eww what are you doing out of the circus" mental image.
Hey man if it makes you feel any better Peter Dinklage is married to a woman who doesn't have dwarfism. Looking at pictures of them together and its clear that they are very much in love and are very cute together.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:56:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do you. If you want to date a nondwarf do it. People need to learn how to keep their damn noses out of others relationships. The obvious exception of course being anything illegal during the wonky ages around puberty.
This kind of reminds me of how large people always end up together. Sure, there's something to be said about having something in common with each other, but it bums me out how there's that weird pressure there for people to "stick to their own kind."
Not having any form of dwarfism and only being slightly below average male height for north america, can you / do you compare it to expectations & social pressures of guys in general expected to date girls younger & shorter than them? The closest I can get to someone my height is girls that 'like shorter guys', so even when accepted it's still tied to what the social mindset for height entails.
Is Peter Dinklage iconic (or an annoying comparison) for your situation? Even by full height standards he has a handsome build, and the flurry of being famous certainly helps a lot, but I've yet to meet a girl that doesn't admit to being attracted to him, height or not.
I have always wanted to hook up with a woman with dwarfism. I think it'd be interesting and fun. Good for you btw that you dont let peoples preconceived ideas rule you =)
My fiancee is more than a foot and a half shorter than I am. There isn't anything wrong with dating someone of significantly different height. It's all the same when you are horizontal anyway.
That is something that most people are probably just ignorant about. Dwarfism is pretty rare, so it isn't a subject most people ever have to put much thought into. I think the thought is "well it seems logistically very difficult to date someone who is normal height when you are a dwarf" and then they extrapolate that to just thinking it doesn't or shouldn't happen.
Anyway, I'm sure they don't mean any harm, so the best thing you could probably do would be to kindly correct them. Unless they're just being way too forward and intentionally dickish about it. Then you can tell them Kenny Loggins said they can fuck right off.
crrrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A (female) friend of my wife and me has been dating a dwarf for a few years. I'll admit that I did a bit of a double take when I met him for the first time since she never mentioned anything about that, but after getting to know him I realized that he was actually just the same kind of asshole that she always seems to date, and since then the topic of his stature hasn't really come up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm repeatedly told I should date a dwarf woman by both people I know and don't know at all
That is ridiculous.
I have a coworker with dwarfism, she is dating a non-dwarf man, my first thought when I saw that was.... Really nothing, it is not even something I ever considered thinking was my business.
Date who you want, when people say something, tell them an IT guy told them to STFU and worry about their own god damned life.
Hmm..I've been thinking about what you wrote quite a bit for the last 30-45 seconds and I have come to the conclusion that I would really like a slice or two of pizza.
It's funny... the only objection I have to the idea of a couple being a dwarf and a "normal", is the thought of having to look up and down when conversing with them as a couple.
But then, no matter how I look at it, talking to someone who is lower than me seems condescending. I would be terribly conscious of that whenever talking to someone with dwarfism.
I don't even like talking to children without getting on their level, which I think I've heard is an offensive thing to do to a person with dwarfism
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was recently at a restaurant and there was a girl who was a dwarf on a date with a girl who was missing an arm and had a cochlear implant. The way they were looking at each other was so sweet and you could tell they really liked each other. A man at the table next to me said "guess they met at freaks anonymous, huh?" And I almost threw my knife at him. The stigma around minority groups dating outside of their "designated group" is strong and shameful.
Whenever I see this one dwarf guy waiting for the bus in this city, I wish we could be friends and want to give him a ride or something. Is that weird? Are dwarves ("little people"?) wary or opposed to people being friendly towards them out of bias?
Has Tyrion Lannister / Peter Dinklage's popularity affected your life at all? If so, how?
There's a well-known dwarf comedian in my country who has a tall wife. One Halloween they dressed up as Snow White and one of the dwarfs because of this taboo, they must've looked awesome.
I wouldn't mind dating a dwarf woman. Im pretty short myself at 5'6", and most of the dwarfs ive seen have been reasonably attractive(although it's a small sample size so might be lucky sample). I don't think there would be any kind of social stigma about a guy dating a dwarf woman, would there?
That's so weird, it's not like it's an ethnicity thing where you're more likely to be attracted to your own race, dwarf is not a race except in DnD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy of average height who would totally date a girl with dwarfism, and shocked his coworkers by saying so, I really don't get what the big deal is. I've been attracted to dwarves before. If I want to date one, I'm gonna, and I'm glad my friends and family are more understanding than the people I work with.
My son has hypochondroplasia, i was told that his dwarfism, given that it was a birth defect rather than genetic, was 1/25000. Other types of dwarfism are much more rare. Given that, even if you dated another little person, what's the chance that you would actually be compatible? People who say you should only date dwarf are no better than, racist and bigots, they must be extremely ignorant, i would find it offensive. Dwarfism is also autosomal dominant, joke is really on normal sized people because the dwarfism gene dominates the fuck out of theres, thats a fun fact i like to throw for fun ;-).
Edit: this fact is sadly also the reason if 2 drawfs where to have children they have a 25% chance of a normal height child, 50% of have a child with dwarfism and 25% of homozygous Achondroplasia/double dominate which sadly results in death at birth.
Huh, I never saw that as strange. I see dwarf persons dating people without dwarfism frequently. I never thought there was discrimination. It sucks that you have to put up with that.
This is definitely answering the question. I think even though most people naturally won't be able to directly relate, we can definitely empathize and agree. And for what it's worth, while I feel like it shouldn't have to be said, I feel 100% the way you do about it. You are a human being just as anyone without dwarfism is, and you don't have to be limited the way society at large might seem to want you to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, I never realized that was socially unacceptable.
Is dwarf your preferred term? I've been told that the word dwarf is offensive and that "little people" is more polite, but honestly that sounds more demeaning to me.
So.... because you are a dwarf, people assume you want to decrease your dating pool by about 99%? I mean, shit. You said you've never even met another dwarf. People are so ignorant. It's not like you'll meet a dwarf and immediately fall in love. Or even like that person.
Thank you for the thread that grew out of your comment, I have found it interesting and educational. I mean that in a sincere and respectful way, although there's no way to phrase it that doesn't sound snarky when I read it back to myself...
Anyway, thanks for a cool thread about a topic I knew very little about. Rock on! :-)
In my circumstance, it's not the relationship but that you have dwarfism.
I know, sounds like a shitty thing but I get anxiety thinking about how to act as if I'm not looking at you because you have dwarfism which causes me to look at you because you have dwarfism.
I'm just not used to being around a small statured adult and that causes me to act awkward no matter what I do.
I would never tell you who to date, though. Those people are douchebags.
You refer to yourself as a dwarf- I was always taught that that is rude and we should use the term 'little person'? Are both terms acceptable, is it only OK for you to call yourself a dwarf but other people shouldn't, or is dwarf better?
I was just talking to my 15 year old son about dwarfism, and how social stigmas are changing/have changed. When I was in elementary school, we had a dwarf come in about half way through the year, and it was really not a big deal for the kids (we were in 2nd or 3rd grade), but the teachers responded horribly. I just remember them being hard on him for lagging behind in line, or having difficulty getting into his chair. Even at a young age, the kids knew that didn't seem right.
Do you think TV has helped change some of the stigmas that were around for so long? I don't think twice if I see a dwarf 'together' with someone that isn't a dwarf. I'd like to think that more people are accepting (and not complete assholes), but I have no personal experience in the matter.
Wow, people are fucking rude. I don't know why this surprises me.
bossk123 ยท 2020 points ยท Posted at 15:19:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Confronting people when they do immoral, unsafe, or stupid things. Most people seem to not be very confrontational. It seems the socially accepted thing is to let people be shitty.
This is huge. I tried calling people out when they did stupid shit but it was more stressful than it was worth. Most of them probably just kept being assholes anyway.
I'm confused. Which person are you calling an asshole? The one who made a mistake, or the one who's telling them they're wrong? Because I only ever hear the second person get referred to as an asshole. If you confront people for doing stupid/wrong/immoral things that don't harm you personally, you will be accused of being a judgmental asshole who should mind his or her own business instead of trying to tell everyone why they're wrong all the time.
This is the main problem I have with this entire "confronting people" thing. They're probably bad themselves in many ways too, nobody is perfect except they're arrogant and sanctimonious enough to think so.
I generally don't confront people who are being pricks in public (I don't think I ever have, actually) for more reasons than the one I mentioned: (1) social anxiety, (2) knowing that yelling at someone in the street is just going to make them defensive, (3) the realization that my view of a person is not a complete picture and I don't know what's really going on.
I do have a temper sometimes, but it never causes me to blow up at people in public. I always try to defuse confrontation.
My point was, if you're a shameless litterer, or music blaster, or line jumper, or whatever it might be that disrespects the rights of others, you're probably making a decision that your needs trump those of the people your behavior is affecting, so challenging you on it will do no good.
I've heard roughly 150 to 500 joules of force transferred from your metacarpophalageal joints to their nasal cavity can rectify that behavior very quickly.
Not of they're in a position where they're supposed to be respectable. I still light up and say "Hey look! There's the Professor who rear-ended a guy, and then assumed himelf so important that he could remove the worker and his huge garbage collector from the service elevator! What a jerk!" And what is he going to do?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think either of those are the kind of things they're talking about. They're talking about confronting someone because they did a bad job at fixing their own lawnmower, or because they are eating unhealthy food, or because they're gay. I think. If someone is doing something that affects you negatively then there's no social stigma against confronting them about it. The social stigma is against confronting people about things they're doing that are only hurting themselves.
Actually I think those are exactly the things the OP of this thread is talking about.
Psylink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently had a customer like that, guy was pissed I wouldn't give him a replacement and referred him to contact the manufacturer that would honor the warranty.
He started using Fuck as every other word, I asked him to stop because there were kids behind him. He responded by telling me they didn't fucking hear him and to just sell him the replacement. Told him no and to get out, his face was priceless.
No replacement. No refund. No blow job. Walked him to the door as he then started yelling at the mother of the children.
The problem I've encountered is that it's way too easy to come off like an asshole. When you criticize someone's actions or ideas, they tend to take it personally because it is in some way a part of their identity. I understand that feeling because I'm pretty defensive myself - if you've come to the realization that criticism should be taken at face value, think of what it took for you to realize that, and understand that not everyone has had that realization yet. You kind of have to get to it on your own. It's not like you can be really sensitive, and then take the criticism about how sensitive you are very well >.>
The trick is to avoid the big dramatic "confrontation speech" because this generally outs you as the emotional/unreasonable one. Calling them out should be a pretty minimal affair. You stare them directly in the eye with the coolest and most confident eye contact you can muster and you say one, maybe two sentences that smartly sum up how you feel about their shit. Then when they try to argue with you, you shut them down and refuse to engage ("that's nice" and "I'm sorry you feel that way" are excellent go to dismissive phrases).
Every time they will back down grumbling the whole time but you'll notice really quickly that a lot of them can't make eye contact with you. They know they're supposed to be ashamed of their behavior, they've just been conditioned by shitty enabling parents to constantly be defensive when confronted.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:27:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's easier getting a heckling crowd going if possible. Turn other people to your side and discuss how horrible the offending persons behavior is together. It'll make them feel worse for disappointing more people. I find people in checkout lines can be real pieces of shit sometimes, especially to the cashiers, so I usually strike up a conversation with people behind me about how I'm always finding the lines with the most inconsiderate people in them, etc. We all have a good laugh and the offending person is called out that way. Can't work in every situation but it's effective.
As the cashier, I sometimes goad the customer (if he or she isn't physically threatening) get louder and louder until their unreasonable demands are heard by everyone in line and they get laughed at. Most recently, it happened with a man who wanted to return a used potty; he had been told when he purchased it that he could not return it if used for hygienic reasons. Management gave in (as usual) so I brought out a pair of gloves and a garbage bag and whatever else equipment I had. The man hissed at me to stop because his kid "is very clean" and that I was embarassing him.
Yeah, that'd backfire on me but chances are people agree with me as they've also noticed the person in front of me being a tool. I simply get the ball rolling here.
It's easier getting a heckling crowd going if possible. Turn other people to your side and discuss how horrible the offending persons behavior is together. It'll make them feel worse for disappointing more people.
I can never do this. a major reason why is because once back in high school two kids got into an altercation, and then one of them pulled the "but heartbrokenheartbeat thinks so too". I ended up getting punished for instigating a fight when all I had done with agree with one of the kids in the fight that the other one was a douche. It also happened at work one time. so from now on, I will never, ever get involved with their shit unless it directly affects me. you'd be surprised how quickly people will leave your side when they think that they might get in trouble. so if you are having an altercation with someone or a problem with them don't put the pressure on us to agree with you or be a part of the problem.
That said, I understand completely why you would think this is a good idea.
Exactly. I was at a theme park recently for the 4th of July and there was a fireworks show later that night. Well me and my gf found a good spot to watch the show and when it started, this huge mother fucker, and im talking land whale status, decided he was gonna stand in front of everyone to get a better view. I told the guy to be respectful and move so we and the people behind us can watch the show. This fucker looked at me and looked at everyone else and then just turned back around to continue watching the show.
We all ended up moving to a different area just to see the fireworks because of this fat lard ass.
Yeah, I've always been fairly apathetic and laid-back to the point that a lot of people have accused me of being "spineless " or walked upon, but honestly, I've tried caring, I've tried being argumentative and contentious, called people out on things, and it's honestly not worth the exertion. It rarely helps; most people just need to make their own mistakes.
The key is to find the people that are worth the time and effort. Some people are too much in denial for what I can get across in a short time. I feel like I can help almost anyone, but most people don't want to hear it.
If they're being assholes then there's not really a social stigma against this in the first place. What's socially unacceptable is confronting someone because they did a bad job at fixing their own lawnmower, or because they are eating unhealthy food, or because they're gay. Things that don't hurt anyone else, but they you personally think they'd have a better life or be a better person if they fixed.
People can't make that distinction anymore. There's a mass of people that think they can do whatever they want because they have a "that's how I was born" attitude, "So, you can't tell me not to piss on this guy because you're oppressing my freedom." They think it's their right to be an asshole and you're an asshole for saying something. It used to be that you would punch an asshole in the mouth, I even got my ass whipped and I deserved it. You can't really do that anymore because the cops will just arrest everyone, not even doing actual police work.
aaktor ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 08:40:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And here we saw the moment when reddit endorsed SRS
Different definitions of Immoral. If someone did hard drugs I'd probably ask them to stop. If someone made a mildly off color, politically incorrect comment on an internet forum, I'd not give a fuck.
Telling some chick screaming and cursing and hitting her children at the store to fuck off is what we are talking about. Not some racy joke on the Internet that's offends you, or someone disagreeing with feminism or something.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 19:31:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All that's necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing. Or to step on a Lego
Even in a serious comment thread, the pull of a dank meme is irresistable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but in modern American society, the greater evil is now seen as telling anybody else how they ought to live. Even having an objective standard of right and wrong makes you a bigot.
It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -Krishnamurti
People drinking and then driving comes to mind. I was at a friends house once, and one of his friends got drunk and then start fooling around near his truck. He starts digging out his keys (he's very drunk at this point) and gets in, and sits for a minute. I asked, are you guys going to let him do that? And they said well he's an adult it's his choice to make shitty decisions. He cranks the engine and drives off. Not 20 minutes later we get a call from him asking us to come pick him and his truck up because he got pulled over. I was like guys, he could have killed someone, and you all didn't even bat an eye.
One Friday night, I'm sitting in my house, watching TV and I hear a loud crash outside. A minivan has crashed into the tree in my front yard.
I run out to see if the driver is okay and when I get to his door, he's stumbling out and I'm hit with the smell of alcohol and airbag smoke. This dude is trashed. He starts wandering around, so I reach into the van, turn it off, and try to get this guy to come sit down instead of pacing in the road.
By now, my husband is calling a tow truck and the neighbors have come out to see what's going on, so we're just keeping an eye on the dude and chatting.
He apparently decided that the damage wasn't too bad, despite the radiator being wrapped halfway around the tree and a ton of fluids pouring out of the car, so he stumbles back in and starts it up.
The rest of us all back away to avoid getting flattened, but I run back to look at the license plate before he takes off. As I do, he gets back out and comes to open up the rear door because he can't see with all the airbag smoke still in the van.
When I realize what he's doing, I run back to the driver's door, turn off the van and grab the keys this time. Dude realizes what I've done and sort of drunk-rushes me to get the keys back. I get pushed into the door frame but manage to lob the keys over the van into my front yard.
He wound up getting arrested for drunk driving, I ended up with a fat lip, and our tree has a permanent scar. But no one was seriously injured or killed by that guy that night. Acceptable or not, I will take your fucking keys.
Edit: Thank you, kind stranger, for popping my gold cherry!
You did good. My cousin thought it was a good idea to drive drunk. Wrapped his car around a telephone pole. Killed his girlfriend, minor injuries to the couple in the backseat, but my cousin was in a coma for over a month. He is now in a wheelchair, with limited use of one hand, and has mental retardation. He will live in an adult care facility the rest of his life.
Thank you, it was over 20 years ago. I haven't seen my cousin in a long time and I feel guilty for not visiting, but not only is it hard to see him the way he is now, but he can be really inappropriate around females, even if we're related.
The guy screwed up his own life pretty well enough without me piling on. Plus, I stole the guy's keys. I can't blame him for the gut reaction of trying to get them back.
As someone who has both survived being struck by a drunk driver, and very recently lost a friend to someone who was speeding and texting on a residential street.
I had something like this happen. This woman stumbled out of a bar and was walking to her car getting her keys out. My friends and I were trying to talk her out of it, offering to call a cab or drive her home. She refused saying "I've already had a DUI, I know what I'm doing!" She started to back up and hit another car behind her. I had to push my friend out of the way because she was taking a picture of the license plate. We called the cops who showed up 20+ min later saying there wasn't much they could do unless the owner of the hit car wanted to press charges. I really wish I had just grabbed her keys out of her hand. Who knows what kind of damage she caused on the way home...
No, actually. He was in the house calling a tow truck and when he saw the guy rush me, he ran out of the house screaming, "Fuck you, I'm calling the cops!" and then pulled him away from me.
Hubs wanted the guy to get home safely but not necessarily get arrested (on that, our opinions differ), but once he saw the guy come at me, it was game over.
mnh1 ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 18:54:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, I won't make that mistake again. I was very uncomfortable with the whole situation and taken aback quite a bit. After seeing my other friends' complacency, I will definitely act next time I see that. I don't know if that means wrestling the keys away from the person, or calling the cops as they drive off, but I'll be doing something.
mnh1 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:29:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually I find that offering to drive someone home or a spot to rest is all the intervention that's needed. If I'm hosting a party and a guest seems too drunk or tired to drive home, they're usually relieved to be offered a couch or bed or bit of floor to sleep on for a few hours until they're in better shape and can drive themselves home.
In my experience people will make dangerous choices because they're too embarrassed to ask if they can sleep it off or are worried you will be angry over the inconvenience.
In those situations it takes a surprisingly small amount of effort to stop the unsafe behavior. I've never had to wrestle keys away from anyone. A smile and a couple reassurances that I really don't mind is all it usually takes.
Right on, that is what we do too. This was an odd case, this guy wasn't a personal friend of mine and I didn't really know him. it was in the afternoon and he had no reason to go anywhere, he just out of the blue decided to get in his truck and drive off.
mnh1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:53:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's weird. I'm not sure I'd know how to handle that.
I think this particular case is a good example of the human tendency to let unpredictable situations play out without intervention due to morbid curiousity, as well as the bystander effect, where individuals feel less responsible both in groups and when bad things happen because of inaction vs. action.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is fine to offer them a ride or a place to rest, but if you wrestle the keys away from them or call the cops you are a bit out of line. Its their life not yours. That's just my opinion even if it isn't a popular one.
The motivation isn't just the damage they could do to themselves but also the damage they could do to others. Many people's sense of morality motivates them to step in and try to protect innocents where they can, so they'd be motivated to stop a drunk driver even if they wouldn't intervene with someone who was merely harming themselves. The driver's life might be theirs to screw with, but the lives of people in cars they might hit certainly aren't.
I understand but i just don't think that anyone has the right to forcibly take the keys from someone. You do make a valid point though, and in a respectful tone (somewhat rare to find on Redditt at times) and I appreciate that.
I have a very similar story, but I ended up getting punched in the face (though I took his keys from him), but he didn't drive home with the girl, he walked.
Not sure where you are but in Canada, if I have a party and a guy gets drunk at the party, drives off and ends up killing somebody, I share culpability and can be brought up on pretty serious charges. And yah, it'd be idiotic to let him drive off, anyways.
Dude, "its his choice" I hate this so bad. I don't know what they really mean by it but the way I see it is a kind of "I don't give a shit, let everyone do what the fuck they want as long as it doesn't hurt ME". That drunk friend was only gonna kill a random stranger. "Meh, not my problem, it's his choice". As if adults coundn't be irresponsible retards
Why didn't you stop him, or say something to him, or even call the police preemptively? All well and good playing saint, but if you didn't stop him you're just as bad.
Some of us learn that it gets you nowhere most of the time. When you confront a shithead they won't magically stop being a shithead. I agree that it's right to intervene in a situation as it's happening e.g. school bullies.
It's not about them, though; it's about who's watching. I got picked on a lot as a kid... when a peer told off someone for being a dick to me for no reason, it helped me.
That kid was still a dick, but I realized that other people thought so too, which helped with understanding "no, it's not me, he's a dick."
If enough people get mad about something society tends to react as well, i.e. someone murdering you with their face if you were to mention you weren't for gay marriage.
Acmnin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im usually a shy person but one year at six flags there was a lady getting so mad at this one employee who obviously had some sort of disability about too much ice/not the right amount of soda. The worst part of it? All this in front of her 6 year old daughter. After I finished my meal I walked up to her and basically called her out/being a cunt. The look on her face was so satisfying.
Ah, I've never heard that before. Is there any particular reason why? (I'm genuinely curious; not trying to troll.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your only other activity on this site is harassing a mother of a trans girl.
You're pathetic.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:14 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you checking my comments? How creepy and weird? I stand by every word I type. Shall we discuss your comments?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:59 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm sorry that someone reading your own comments on a public forum is so uncomfortable for you - well, I mean, not really - but if that weirds you out then maybe you should pull out a throwaway for when you're going to post bigotry. Anyhow, for reference, writing something as stupid as
Of course it doesn't, however, it is inappropriate for a man to confront a woman and a small child.
is advertising that you're an idiot and that your comment history is probably comedy gold. Unfortunately, yours turned out to more sad than funny. Oh well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:29 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My bipolar stuff is on this account because I'm not uncomfortable about my mental illness. shrugs
You sound like a real winner though. I hope your retarded kid rapes you (or is it the hubby who's a potato?) See? Now we're both winners!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:10:27 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes! Someone needs a meds adjustment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:35 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You lowered us to this level when you told me to kill myself, all I did was observe that you're a bigot. How are you not the bad guy here? You made it weird.
Say hi to the potato for me, sucks that they don't make meds for what he has. On the other hand, he'll be your little child forever, won't he? How nice.
nc08bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a drive thru And see it every day
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:09:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, speak up. It's the only way to improve the situation, for all of us.
Ran4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This makes you look like a massive dickbag though. Most people do absolutely not want to hear the truth if the truth is that they did something wrong or if they have an opinion regarding something that doesn't match up with reality.
You also have the problem that by telling someone that they're wrong, they might believe even stronger that they're right, even when they're wrong. For example, if you strongly believe that it's a reasonable idea to let people own guns for their own self defence, you're not going to back down on your opinion just because I'm currently telling you that you're wrong. In fact, you're probably agitated at me right now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:47:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck 'em. If I know I'm right, and they insist they're wrong, I don't have time for them. I don't want to associate with people incapable of admitting they were in the wrong. People who don't admit they were wrong never make any progress in life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I give exactly 0 fucks. I like to think I'm a reasonable person, but I'm also not averse to confrontation. If they want to get up in my face about something they shouldn't be doing in the first place, I'll gladly get back up in theirs.
At least they'll have that confrontation in the back of their mind the next time they decide to engage in shitty behavior.
I've tried, even had video proof of a douchebag committing his actions. He got away free because his brother is a cop. Not the first time the cops have wiped away something for their personal gain in my life. :(
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:47:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least you got the satisfaction of voicing your concern.
But when the cops pretend it matters when they secretly throw it out the window, that hurts way more than any satisfaction of voicing it. No clue why I'm being down voted, I'm clearly reporting crappy people, it's not my fault the cops are in on the crimes.
there was a teen on the bus, on the packed bus in the heat, (this was last thursday) and he's sitting in that bitch-seat in the elbow with his buddy the pre-teen. (white boys, couple of bro pupae as far as I could see) so mr cleverdick grins to himself, and in a seeming demonstration to his protegee, gets out one of those little travel spray things of AXE and proceeds to douse himself with it. armpits, back, neck, he's going at it.
so I call him out. "yo, knock it off, you're on a bus. I don't want to smell that, these people don't want to smell that, nobody does"
teen proceeds to smirk at me. but he stopped spraying the gasseous horror about. and I got off before the fumes saturated too badly.
God, yes. People get so defensive too. I personally would like to know whenever I do something wrong/stupid so that I can avoid doing it again. Makes complete sense to me but people get embarrassed and offended so easily.
That's the difference between socially unacceptable and self-perceived socially unacceptable.
If I saw someone calling someone out on something, such as littering, I'd be glad that someone felt they could do that and then did that. I don't feel like anyone but the litterbug would feel that they'd crossed a line either.
I confronted a friend in the major I am in about something he did that offended me. He apologized and actually thanked me for calling him out because he was unaware of doing it, and also aware he is capable of it and is trying to work on that. Better because of it
Hell yeah, man. I have noticed the same thing. People turn into spineless pussies when someone else's immoral and shitty behavior doesn't directly effect them.
Yep. People, put your phone away while driving. Nothing is more important that keeping your eyes on the road while you're in control of a two tonne vehicle.
I'm super big on that one. Its tempting sometimes, but when my phone goes off while I'm driving I just ignore it. No text is worth causing anyone even a small amount of pain, time, or money.
This. A big thing is when people are driving recklessly -- not checking blind spots, texting, plowing through cross walks, etc. All of my friends will just try to stay out of the way. You should always honk or try to communicate in some way. Getting out of the way won't stop them from endangering others in the future.
Come on people for the thousandth time obvious shit like a dude slapping his wife, someone attempting to get in their car while drunk, or when someone questions the divinity of Emma Watson/Chris Pratt/Jennifer Lawrence on the internet.
I mean, yeah. I'm not responsible for anyone's moral compass or personal safety but my own. If someone wants to be stupid (and they're not hurting anyone else), who am I to step in and stop them? It's not my problem and its just going to make them angry, so it's not worth my time to intervene.
We called out someone being a total dick about stealing a reserved park bench area and she not only refused to do anything or move her stuff unless an authority figure MADE HER do it, but she brought her daughter to the park to try and argue with us. We moved her shit to another table not in the large party area for her. Not to the trash, just to another table away from the guy who had originally booked the spot. When they tried to put it BACK ON THE TABLE we went back over again and asked them to stop. I'm like "you're being a dick. Someone has to stand up to you for trying to ruin someone else's birthday due to your own poor planning." Her daughter squared up on me but eventually backed down. I wished her son a happy birthday and said 'have fun over there lady'.
Most people avoid pointing these things out, because most people are intelligent enough to know, that their sense of morals, stupidity and safety is not universal.
...
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Or most mind their own business unless they are directly effected. Unless it places me or a person I am with in danger I couldn't care less if another human is about to hurt themselves, die, etc. They have to learn somehow, and if their stupid enough to get themselves killed do that then they'll just find another way to do it again later.
Nah. Everyone I know gives people shot when they do stupid shit. And when we saw a bunch of kids doing something that could potentially get them killed we stood around and yelled at the one being encouraged to ignore their friends who were being stupid.
It takes a little bit of courage to speak up against someone's wrongdoings. Most people are afraid to invite the fight into their lives. Then one day those same people ~snap~ once they've had enough.
And that leads to shitty people getting indignant when you call them out on their shitty behavior. Every single person who avoids calling out shitty behavior is just as responsible.
The problem with that is morals, safety and intelligence are all relative. Enforcing moral beliefs on others is for religious nuts. And if a stupid person is doing something stupid or dangerous, unless it interferes with your safety I'd say you're just nosy and have a superiority complex.
To an extent. Or rather, yes, as long as it's done in a respectful and productive manner. I worked tech support and a lot of the baby boomers would be confrontational just to be an arse. Difference between "That's dangerous, you should stop" and "You're a fucking moron, I hope you loose your nutsack". Generally I find that if you call people out on their shit in a respectful manner, it actually develops mutual respect. Only really found that with millennials and gen X'ers though, baby boomers are just so entitled they respond to any criticism with petty insults and name calling. They just can't accept responsibility for their own actions, they always have to blame someone else for their problems.
But they lovvvvve to gripe about it on social media, or call some authorities. Cowards.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to make fun of people in these situations. I knew a guy who drove drunk sometimes, and people would talk about it behind his back but never confront him. Now, I'm not his mother so I'm not going to scold him. But I am a person who knows him, so I just started making fun of him for it one day. Nobody got pissed. It stayed friendly. And he knew that we were aware of it, and it was not being overlooked.
I'm a very confrontational person, but there's a huge difference between knowing to stay in your own lane and avoiding confrontation. I prefer to let this whole beautiful fuckpit of a planet go about its business unhindered until something directly affects me.
Honking.
Seriously. Why don't more people honk when someone drives like an asshole
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you knew a way of living was very likely to involve them in harm, would it be loving to say nothing and just "accept" their lifestyle?
It is a real tension in our present society, at least in America, where you are considered evil for attempting to tell anyone they maybe shouldn't do what they are doing. For any reason.
Especially moral reasons. If the moral reason doesn't involve harming others, it's apparently hands off, shut up, be happy for me, keep it to yourself.
Modern morals in a nutshell: don't hurt anybody, unless there's a good reason, and do what feels good. The end.
Cultural norms are there for a reason. Not every tradition is worthwhile, but throwing off all restraint results in harm, which we as a species have learned through long lessons. Monogamy, for instance, results in both parents being there to raise a child, ideally. Broken homes are not healthy for the child. Marriage is a good commitment.
Fatherless families, children being raised by grandparents because of irresponsible young parents, the spread of STDs, all are results of promiscuity being seen as perfectly healthy.
I mean...what kind of things? If it's something that could hurt you, a loved one, or the public at large, sure, say something. Some people do this crap about minor stuff, though, like when you tell an off-color joke that they feel could offend someone.
Besides, what's moral and what isn't? Some people would walk around heckling gays, and other people would go around heckling gay hecklers, etc, etc. It's just better if we keep to our own business.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would confronting someone who does something immoral be considered socially unacceptable? did you not read the question and decide to just start patting yourself on the back?
Almost all of us get very defensive when someone else confronts us. That's why it's so hard. If everyone were better at self-reflection, and were more willing to confront others, they'd be more cooperative when confronted themselves.
Imo, someone who can never be confronted about anything, no matter how much they're harming themselves, is a narcissist. If they can't acknowledge that they're capable of doing something wrong or stupid, then they're full of themselves.
I do this. The question is, what do you want to achieve? Do you want to vent your anger / annoyance, do you want to look good by being moral, or do you want them to stop doing X?
If you want the last one, the thing I've found that works best is to be super polite and concerned for them / their safety. Earlier today I passed three people walking abreast on the bike side of a busy bike/walk path. Two cyclists had to slow down or swerve around them in the thirty seconds I watched.
Now, this place is really well marked. They knew. But I go up all, "Oh, hey, don't know if you guys saw, but actually the orange path is pedestrians? Yeah, it's pretty cool, right? I just saw you guys, and there's a corner right here - I don't want someone to come around it and not see you!" and a) they can't bitch me out, b) they're embarrassed enough to walk on the right side.
Concern is definitely a great way to respond to somebody doing something unsafe, or stupid. I generally confront people that way when it comes to safety especially. However, I am a soldier, and derision/yelling comes out of my mouth sometimes.
Previously I was living my life with a mantra of tolerance and accepting of all things. Some events within the past year have led me to believe this idea isn't as pure as I once thought and that there are some things that I shouldn't tolerate. Some people that I shouldn't tolerate and that my life will be better if I can better distinguish between when it is appropriate to tolerate someone and when it is not.
The right answer is probably somewhere between your original high tolerance views, and my low tolerance views towards asshats. Maybe Reddit has the right answer, and the problem is not enough cats.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not the socially accepted thing, It's just that like you said most people don't like to be confrontational.
I've been working on this one lately. It's hard to break the years of social conditioning intended to essentially make you too spineless to ever do anything other than mind your own business. But slowly and surely I've been "nutting up" to people.
That mother fucker cut you in line? Fucking stand up for yourself. Don't sit there and grumble behind him and stare daggers at the back of his head like that's accomplishing something. Grow a spine and tell him to move it to the back of the line. You know what I've discovered? People who do shitty entitled things tend to be gigantic cowards. Oh they love to pop off at the mouth at you when you call them out on shit but they'll do it as they slowly move to the back of the line. Let um run their mouth. You give them the coolest and most confident eye contact that you can (and remember kids, don't ever argue with stupid) and inevitably they will back down.
That's why they do shit like cut you in line. Because they're cowards with an inferiority complex and they feel an absurd need to "get theirs" somehow or the other. Cutting you in line is just a petty extension of that need. If they weren't insecure in the first place they wouldn't have done it so be pretty confident in knowing that if you just stand up to them you're already bigger, badder, and more alpha than they are.
That is certainly true. Most of those people are cowards, and they fall apart upon confrontation. It obviously depends on who confronts them though. Sometimes they are hoping someone "weaker" than them will say something so they can act all tough.
Weak or strong is in the eye contact. I am not a large man by a mile. I'm 5'4'' and a wee bit scrawny. They still back down from me because my eye contact says I'm not taking any of their shit.
As I've learned it has less to do with people being ok with people being shitty. It's that most of the people acting this way are usually dangerous and violent.
When you have a life, kids, and solid job the last thing you need is a fight with some asshole on the street because he parked in a handicap spot and dumped his trash all over the sidewalk. You never know what the other person is capable of or if he's fucking crazy. So unless you can actually take care of yourself/aren't afraid of death or jail it's usually best to shut up and silently wish he gets hit by a bus.
Yes. I call people out all the time when I'm commuting on the train and I'm the only one doing so. People don't even give pregnant women seats. I once saw a woman tell someone with a disability that she wasn't going to give up her seat. I tore her a new one and she was so ashamed she got off at the next stop.
I think it is more of awareness to consequences of not minding your own business
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me I think it's just the town I currently live in, because I come from a place where if someone has a problem with you then they'll fucking tell you and you deal with it right then and there. When I moved here, everybody is too damn afraid to say what they really think and it annoys me to no end. I've always gone ahead and said whatever I needed to say. Here it seems I have to notice that someone has an issue and then pry it out of them so it gets fixed. People here dance around the the problem like it doesn't actually exist.
The one place I am glad to say this seems to be totally acceptable is rock climbing. I have talked to a number of people about safety related stuff and 99% of the time its a very civil and constructive interaction.
I do this all the time. I strongly believe in the power of social comdemnation for bad behavior. It doesn't help - the people will still be assholes after work. But at least they know people notice that they're assholes. I will call people out for cutting in lines, littering, allowing their children to behave badly in public, or any one of a number of other things. They can hate me if they want. I usually notice at least one or two other people giving me silent looks of approval. If everyone did this, we would have much less bad behavior. African people and the bullies rely on the fact that most people are so scared of confrontation they will do anything to avoid it. I tried to break that pattern.
My boyfriend is good at this, boy does he call people out. He got into a fight with a woman trying to cut the painfully long financial aid line at school. Her argument was that she didn't ask him, and that she wasn't cutting in front of him, because the guy she wanted to cut was a few people a head. Reminded me of the scene in Dead Like Me. Only no one clapped, just nodding in agreement that the chick was a bitch.
So instead of getting to the back she stared angrily at us from the sides, further wasting her time. She also shouted, in broken English, "Fuck you in the ass". It was funny.
This one is a tough one for me. I don't want to die, haha. Additionally...a lot of the times you could make a great case that people simply aren't equipped/have the experience for the confrontation and that it would be more harmful than good for them to try. If you are having a really shit day...you might not be the best person to start talking a person down from jumping from a ledge, etc.
I don't know what the right solution is, and many times I've called out people with obnoxious/ homophobic signs who wave them in my face, but I'm not sure I want shaming to be too socially acceptable
For real. I saw some mom backhand her kid at work and I'm like "Hey, don't do that!" and I got yelled at by her and then my boss says, "Mind your own business."
Also, getting fired for saying "yeah, well she should keep her hands to herself" was totally worth it.
I was pushed out of my job for standing up to a manager after I got sick from something at work. HR knows they denied it but it's a boys club. What kills me is now in hearing multiple stories where this has been an issue for others in the workplace too:/
I think most people (except perhaps the receiving party) would not judge you for confronting stupid behavior. However most people are also pussies and won't do the confronting themselves. So it's not that it's socially unacceptable, we're just all passive as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If it's only harmful to themselves and they're an adult who appears to not be mentally ill/disabled or anything: mind your own business. Seriously, I just can't back you up on that. Leave them be.
If it's harmful to others: your call. Morally, I think you're in the right, but my only caveat is: be damned sure. Meaning that you better be right - if you interfere with something I'm doing simply because you misread it and turn out to be wrong, presuming your misreading of it wasn't something most people would've done (that is, they'd have known better), then I'm not going to give a damn about your alleged "good intentions", I'm going to give a damn about the fact that you just fucked shit up and should've known better.
Immoral yes, but unsafe or stupid things are a gray area IMO. If they aren't aware of the risks then tell them, but if they're strangers or they are aware of the risks then leave them to it. For example don't bother some random alcoholic about the dangers of liver failure, but if your friend doesn't understand that alcohol is bad then you really should tell them.
Obviously this is assuming that everyone who could be harmed by what they're doing is also aware of the risks and willing to take them. So for example you can be as obnoxious as you want (within reason) to someone who's about to drive drunk.
I love those looks I get when I successfully manage to broach these topics openly, publicly, and respectfully, with compassion for the offending person.
People just stop, stare and think, "How the fuck did he just do that? He stopped and spoke about a challenging thing and no one feels awkward. WTF?" I feel like a God every time! It's the best! You've just got to fully be in the shoes of the transgressing person,and treat them with love and perspective.
Not sure if it's unacceptable but striking up a conversation with a stranger. This happend to me last week on campus and it was very nice. It seems to me that many people rather stay in their own bubble and prefer to be on their phone if they don't know anyone.
(Edit: I never said that I approach people, just that I think it's nice. Also 'hating' a person you don't know is a bit over the top for having an opinion you don't share)
It really depends where the person is from I think. I met a cute Ukrainian girl at my train station last week, she accidentally bought the wrong ticket and asked me a question. We then spent the next 45 minutes talking and sitting next to each other, traded information and the hugged when we hard to go our ways... It's nice to meet people.
Yes. We're just trying to coordinate schedules because we both work weird times. She's only her til the end of the summer so it's kind of crunch time here..
What do you mean? It strikes my eyes when I read it. I saw that word "hard" the moment I read it, and my first thought was "this is some freudian slip irony shit". Then saw the comment and giggled as someone is thinking just like me.
...and where you live. People in different areas have different levels of acceptance when it comes to random public talking. It is much more acceptable where I'm at now, and it took me a bit to get used to the random person behind me in line just blurting something out loud and expecting me to be paying attention.
I'm from New York, it's totally a mixed bag. People will be total dick heads when something is a problem in the slightest to them, but then there's a sense of bonding at certain points. Like, there was a small fire in a building down the road from where I work in the City, and at least 100 people were just standing by, watching and talking with each other as if watching the fire department work is just another form of entertainment.
Alagane ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:26:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Based on what I've heard from tourists and travelers, people from the US generally are more open to striking up a conversation than a lot of other places. And people from the south are more likely than northerners.
Size of an area matters a lot as well. The smallest towns I've lived in or near were pretty much gossip mills no matter where they were located. Unfamiliar faces got chatted up pretty quick.
Maybe not so much as to a person's background, but how the conversation starts in the first place - in your case, it was acceptable because of the situation. I'm sure someone would be more willing to continue a conversation if you asked them about train tickets in a train station, rather than asking their opinion on current events in line for a coffee.
That being said, it's easy to talk to strangers if you know how to properly segue...!
Long distance train travel is great for this. I'm an insomniac, so overnight on a train would be hell, but I just head to the dining car with a deck of cards. It only takes a few hands of solitaire before you're playing poker or rummy with some stranger. I've met some great people that way. No regrets.
Ukrainian girls. The only female strangers that have ever talked to me like we were best pals have been Ukrainian girls. How do I know? Because we became good friends afterwards. Is Ukraine like European Canada?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meeting people on planes and trains is my absolute favorite
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is that she was all smiley, but during out conversation she mentioned how Russians and Ukrainians don't smile very much unless they're actually happy. (Good sign?)
She ask that they'd rather not use those facial muscles for no reason haha.
Legit, 100% happened, she's almost 19 and is doing an exchange program thing in my town like a mile from my house, it was like the Twilight Zone... hopefully hanging out with her Thursday. Fingers crossed for me, Reddit.
CJ101X ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:52:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck m8
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:45:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have zero problems striking up conversation with strangers if it's clear you or your group of friends are just chillin. Otherwise I respect the fact that you're probably busy and don't need the interupption.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the contrary though, I know lots of people and don't want to talk to any of them most of the time or any strangers for that matter. And no I'm not real selfish or cynical, I just don't wanna talk about nothing for a few minutes.
GRCA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'll accept strangers talking to me on the condition that they accept me trying to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.
Or even a lot of places in the US. When I moved from Texas to DC, I swear people thought I was trying to mug them all the time. In Texas it's perfectly normal to say hi to someone who's standing on the corner waiting for the light to change with you.
I live in a moderately sized city, but its not uncommon anywhere in the US.
Even when I went to NYC people were quite friendly.
(I'll talk to just about anyone)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moved from CT to AZ. I'm sure at first I gave plenty of weird looks to people who were just trying to be friendly, and I thought they were trying to get something from me. Most people in CT mind their own business (at least in my experience).
eskaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I miss Texas. I moved to a small island in the Caribbean and everyone knows each other. They all say "Good Day" or "Good Night" when you pass them. I've decided I'm going to do that everywhere I go. Except maybe like New York City. It's kind of hard to acknowledge every passerby when there are thousands of them.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:01:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK it's considered a bit weird, maybe even rude. I do it on occasion, though usually only when I'm drunk.
May I ask where you live? Because up in the north I wouldn't say it was considered weird or rude at all
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:16:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I commute to and from London, the least friendly place in the UK.
I used to be a village lad from Hampshire that'd say "Good mornin'" every day. Now I'm more likely to push people over to get off of the tube in the morning. London really has an unpleasant effect on people. Not that I care, if my time in London has taught me anything, they'd all do it back to me without hesitation. I can't tell if I dislike commuters or tourists more.
I assumed you were going to mention London or at least the south.
I am from and live in Liverpool and I've seen numerous articles,1 quite recently, in the Echo (local city newspaper ) that Liverpool was voted the 3rd most friendly city in Europe (or something to that effect).
The few times I've visited the capital I've found a lot of people to be quite unfriendly.
Pretty sure it's a southern thing. I'm from Bath and it'd be weird for me too, although I am a bit of a hermit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely, London isn't friendly at all. I don't think I've been to a worse place in terms of that yet. But, one upside of London is that nobody cares about you.
I grew up near a town in Hampshire in a small village. Whenever I went to the town it felt unfriendly, but unlike London, people did care. They cared enough to start trouble over it for no reason. Working in London is lovely in that regard. Nobody cares. Nobody cares if you look different, act different, or generally don't give a fuck. In smaller places they do, probably because the town is a much tighter community in comparison (80k people means you're barely 3 degrees of separation from everyone else from my experience).
I'm a Londoner who used to live in Portsmouth, before I moved here I wouldn't have said that Portsmouth is a particularly friendly place. Now, whenever I'm in Not-London, I'm genuinely a little bit surprised if people smile or thank me for letting them past on the stairs.
London is an incredibly unfriendly and angry city. Like you, I find that it's had an effect on me too and that makes me sad.
Yeah with you on that one. I'll do it sometimes sitting on a train home after a beer or two and people are just like 'dafuqs wrong with this guy?' And if its a girl, first thing they do is drop their boyfriend into the conversation because clearly you're only making conversation to try and get into their pants. British people just wanna be left alone I guess.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much my experience too. I usually back off if people aren't interested. I'm only talking because commuting home is dull and now I'm probably too drunk to operate my phone, DS, or laptop.
This is the only thing I ask for. I quite often enjoy having someone initiate conversation with me, as long as people respect a polite "no" when I don't feel like talking. I've had people pick up on the fact that I didn't want to talk before I even spoke up about it, and I've had people go in a huff with me when I politely said I wanted to be alone (although that could have been because I was wearing my retail uniform in public before my shift. Hate to break it to you dude, but when I'm off the clock, I don't owe you shit.) I have no beef whatsoever with people like you because you don't act like you're entitled to my time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just common decency really. I generally love it if someone wants to talk, and if they don't I'll probably come here (never text friends when drunk...) When sober I usually don't want to talk since I'm busy working on the train, though it has happened.
This does lead me to think that the whole "Brits don't like to talk to strangers thing" is a bit manufactured. It doesn't seem that way most of the time.
Makes me realize how grateful I am to have lived in a lot of places with talkative people and proper public transit. Trains full of drunk/high/whatever people can be a lot of fun. Or terrible. But still.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the UK has excellent public transport. I only really see drunks on the trains around midnight in the latter half of the week, including myself.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From my own life and lives of those i know;
internet
work
university
friends of friends
Those are the most common, only my grandad meets women on public transport. Though... He has had about 20 girlfriends and two fiancees in the last 5 years, most much younger than him, so he is doing well for himself.
Endur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a bar and had a 30 min conversation with an acquaintance, bought him a drink too. I realized an hour later that he wasn't the person I thought he was and I didn't know him at all
JohnDsk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:15:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, in Sweden that would make most people uncomfortable. Unless alcohol is involved.
Also, how the hell do bars and clubs work in the rest of the world then? People go to them to talk to strangers. . .
Well not a bar always, I'll go and chill with my friends, but we'll strike up a conversation with anyone who sits by us. Doubly so when people take smoke breaks, its a free for all then.
Its more unusual in somewhere like supermarkets, but by no means socially unacceptable in my opinion. (USA)
From Mexico City here, it would be weird as hell and, depending on the circumstances (time, place, what have you) it can even make people grow alert. This doesn't seem to be the case in smaller cities though.
Yeah, it's something I love about Americans. They'll talk to anyone and want to know your life story while sharing theirs. It's one of the things I look forward to when going to the states.
I'm from the south. It is perfectly acceptable to approach someone and just start talking. Like standing in line? Fuck it talk to the person next to you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love it. Makes running errands more fun if you can chat with someone while in line at the grocery store.
I love talking to strangers, all they are is friends you haven't made yet!
wen_but ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:22:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
See, I'd prefer people not to speak to me if I'm alone, because I get really awkward. But if somebody strikes up a conversation, I'll be happy to talk
Edit: not, not bot
I'm from an area where almost everybody is willing to stike up some talk. I've traveled places not too far from here where people want absolutely nothing to do with you. Won't even acknowledge a comment. Just glares.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Baltimore. White people here keep their heads down and never talk to strangers unless they have some reason to. Black people, on the other hand, will say "good morning", offer comments on the situation, and talk about (your and their) life to random strangers at any time. It's lovely and I wish everyone did it.
It would also be cool if there were some little accessory you could wear around as a universal signal of "I like talking to strangers", so we could find each other without bothering the antisocial people. Then everyone wins!
I used to notice the black guys around OKC, no matter where I was, would always give each other the "What's up, brother?" followed by a cool handshake.
I just thought "Wow, like every single black person knows every other single black person."
It honestly took me a while to realize they didn't know each other, they were honestly just being nice to strangers.
People talk about white people hating other races and shit.
Nah, white people just generally don't like anyone. We don't do that shit with each other. Even fucking country club members talk shit about one another. The worst thing I hear about "white privilege" is the idea that if you are white you are magically in this club where everyone else who is white just welcomes you with open arms.
Ya, that's just not the way it is. We hate each other, we just ignore minorities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like people, I just don't want to talk to most of them =/
Man, I don't wanna get racist here, but I wonder if all white parents have that same talk with their kids... "If you're in a bad neighborhood, keep your head down, don't look anyone in the eye, and walk with purpose... otherwise you'll get mugged."
At least, that's what I was told by my racist white father who was born and raised in downtown Detroit.
Your father gave you horrible advice. Looking at the ground is a sign of weakness and submission and makes you an easy target if someone had those intentions. Avoiding eye contact is the same, don't stare people down(it's seen as a challenge), but acknowledge that you're aware of them. It's pretty rare for a random white person to get mugged in the city. They're much more likely to hit dope dealers, pimps, or rival gang members.
I grew up in a very rough neighborhood and been to prison so this is just based on what I've learned from those situations.
I do this on a fairly regular basis. In line at the store..Maybe im out for a good walk and someone is walking the same way I am. Maybe im talking to random parents at the park while my daughter plays. It is fun. My S/O thinks its weird. I tell her, Hey whats wrong with being a friendly guy?
I agree, on a 2 hour plane ride up to Boston I talked to the guy the next to me the whole time. We talked about everything and it was great to talk to a stranger and hear there opinions and experiences.
My friends look at me like I'm crazy because I'll talk to any old lady walking down the street. Making an old lady laugh with some corny witty joke is the highlight of my day. It's nice to see those wrinkly frowns turn upside down.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Canada, well at least in my province, it's awkward when you DON'T strike up a random conversation while standing next to somebody. I'm always making some sort of small talk, even if it's just about the weather, lol.
The problem with this comes along when people just don't take social cues. I've had many a quality conversation with friendly strangers, but some people that try to do this really don't know how to shut up when a stranger inevitably just doesn't want to talk to them.
ATCaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
During my short stint at my local community college I decided I wasn't going to be a loner like I am normally.
I dressed nice (khakis\slacks, waistcoat, tie) every day and always smiled at people. I would sit out in the quad or in the life center reading a book, watching games of chess or Smash or ping pong, and generally making myself known.
It was incredible the response I got. People would ask what I was reading (usually All Quiet On The Western Front or a sci-fi book), invite me to join their game, or just strike up a conversation.
My only issue is that you never know who you're talking to and if you like talking with strangers, you should be able to recognize whether or not a person wants to have a conversation.
I was at a cafe the other day and the barista had a friend by the counter and they were chatting between customers. While the barista was making my drink her friend started some small talk with me. I managed to get out some short responses, but I wasn't returning much conversation and internally I got pretty anxious. I had planned on staying at the cafe to have my coffee, but I ended up just leaving.
I admit I do use my phone as a barrier to avoid situation like that, but I just haven't reached a point where unexpected interactions like that aren't difficult.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
german here. i went on a 2 months vacation to travel australia and was surprised because of their mentality. they're really open towards others (even strangers) and often start a conversation. it's heartwarming to speak with those nice people. a few times i parked my car, got out, and was promptly invited to a bbq by a neighbor camper - it was my first day on that campspot and i have never met those people before. truly amazing, i miss that kind of interactions in germany
Jtennan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. I certainly understand people want their own space or want to keep to themselves, but you can tell by their response (or lack thereof) if they want to talk.
I'm in sales so I'd talk to a wall if it would speak back. However, I meet so many cool people by just shooting the shit or chit chatting with random strangers.
Totally agree. My wife complains that I'm a "talker" though. However, I was recently on a flight, seated next to a student from Iran and spoke the entire flight about his experiences in the U.S. and Americans perceptions about Iran. I thought it was a great conversation, and much better than playing Nethack on my phone, or reading the Peter Hook memoir for two hours, as I otherwise would have done.
I'm surprised at how many people go out of their way to not have to speak to strangers (looking at the ground, stopping in mid walk to change direction...I've even seen someone act like they were on the phone...that was a friend of mine).
I've always said "hello" to anyone I pass, and if I'm on an airplane (or anywhere that you're together with strangers for more than 20 seconds) I make an effort to talk to the people around me. I don't try to have in depth, hour long conversations, but I do try to at least acknowledge the other people. It's still amazing to me that some feel so 'offended' by the idea of doing it.
ABSOLUTELY! I would be more into doing this if I knew people weren't going to "freak" out or think I'm trying to hit on them. Sometimes I just want to meet people and make friends, why is that an issue? It makes me very cynical and just makes me not want to talk to anybody. Most of my experiences have been, "why are you talking to me?" Then again that's probably for the best because then they're most likely people I wouldn't want to be friends with. But again who knows cause they don't want to talk. Crazy cycle, really.
I love when people come up and talk to me. I'm a really lonely person and I have no social skills whatsoever, so I can't approach anyone. But it's nice when someone notices you exist every once in a while.
I'm currently in Disney and one of the things I love is talking to new people. It's super easy because a lot of people have pins that say they're celebrating, or are wearing something I can compliment. I love to give advice to people who are visiting for the first time, and hear advice from seasoned veterans.
The other day I met a couple who were celebrating their 62nd anniversary. They were adorable, holding hands and the like.
Actually I wish I could do this. I'm introverted, and a freelance IT consultant/PC fixer, so it's hard for me to find new customers. I had a mentor years ago who was a great salesman, everywhere he went he found a new client, and he was in a very niche market.
Just today I was at a gas station and a stranger complimented my car, and I was just sort of caught off guard, mumbled at his remarks, and answered a couple questions very quiet and with as few words as possible. I don't know why it's so hard for me to interact with people I don't know. I'm afraid I come across as rude.
I went to a small town in Virginia a few weeks and and was shocked to find out people actually do this. I'm from the city, so unless I'm at a bar or club I keep my distance from others and they keep it from me. Imagine my shock when an old women sees me at the farmers market and just goes "man, you're tall" and we start talking. Nice experience. 10/10 would talk to a random stranger again.
as long as you back off when I make it clear I don't wanna talk to you.
Endur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how tired I am. I will desperately try to avoid conversation in the mornings because it takes way more mental effort than I'm able to put forth
saw a cute girl on the bus today. Was really eager to strike up a conversation, and was looking for simple ice-breakers/convo-starters... I've come to realize (by the time the bus reached my stop) that I've not striked up a conversation with a complete stranger in such a long time that I don't actually even remember how to do that.
Any other time I've met people we've both either been introduced by a mutual friend or were forced to communicate for whatever work/school related reason..
I can't go on long enough about how much this has benefitted my life. I'm a very talkative and outgoing person and work in a customer service industry. I'm really good at finding something to strike up a conversation (e.g. clothing they are wearing) and have never been shy about doing it in any scenario. It's also helped me greatly with networking and getting things I need (or don't know I need yet). For example: In 2007 I was at Rock The Bells in NYC (RATM reunion tour) and missed the last train from NYC back into a town in NJ. Ended up talking with a guy that was in the same situation and had friends that were going to pick him up in Newark and were driving the direction I needed to go. I told him a bit about myself so he felt I was trustworthy and offered cash for the ride. I was very grateful for the ride as I would have been in a tough situation.
I'm a very social person, but I'll sit and read articles on my phone when I'm in a place because I love knowledge and learning things. If you strike up conversation with me however, I'll stop what I'm doing and converse because I genuinely like talking to people more.
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the context really. Usually just bringing up a random conversation can be strange, especially if you're a man approaching a woman in a public place. She'll likely assume that you're trying to flirt with her which may be somewhat annoying to deal with. Unless you're attractive.(this trumps most social etiquette)
If something interesting or out of the ordinary occurs in front of us, then I'll usually talk to a stranger or comment on it. Or if there's an obvious shared interest, like someone's wearing a shirt with a band I like on it.
I love randomly making conversation with someone. Whether it's at school, in line when ordering food, or waiting somewhere. I like it. It helps me have some kind of social interaction.
I've had great conversations with people I've been sitting next to at a bar. Didn't bother picking up a name, but I really enjoy watching major games on the TVs and talking to the other people who showed up by themselves to watch the game.
I am so jealous that you people are able to pull this one off.
I am not the most social person ever, so this is really hard for me. Since I live in a small community, meeting people who know me via my mother or something like that is very common. The annoying part is that they usually want to chatter with me. I appreciate that they want to talk to me and I will do my best to talk back, but it just feels uncomfortable since I hardly know these people.
I have stricken conversations with strangers at times (usually I don't start them) and it feels wonderful. However, I am too anxious to pull it off usually.
It kind of depends where you are. In the U.S. it's common in small cities; especially in the Midwest. Larger cities on the coast are a hit or miss. Other countries are the same way - hit or miss - I spoke to a German exchange student who told me the largest difference she experienced between the U.S. and Germany was that strangers would converse with one another - something she said is taboo in Germany.
I am from germany actually and while it's not taboo per se it definately doesn't really happen. That's why I'm really happy when it does!
I also heard from relatives that people in the US greet you casually and stuff like that. But the biggest difference is waiters, they're rude as fuck here (at least at the restaurants I go to) totally different in the uk as well
Nah, fuck that. I don't want to talk to strangers in public. I talk to strangers at social events like going out to dinner with friends and they bring someone I don't know. I don't want to talk to some guy named Chad while I'm ordering a bagel and coffee. Fuck you, leave me alone.
In Norway people would be weirded out were you to try to talk to them out of nowhere. However, if the two of you have something in common (both are mothers (fathers give silent viking nods, no chatter), their dog runs into you and they start apologizing, you're in a class/work together), then chit-chat is allowed to an extent depending on the situation.
Norway can probably be classified as one of the top ten countries with polite citizens. We might seem very cold (technically, we are), but when there's a reason for communication, you bet we'll be kind as hell (especially citizens of Hell, a town in Norway). A smile on the face, polite answers to all questions, and extremely friendly are traits which can describe a talking Norwegian. Heck, even the jocks and popular girls in school are friendly and including.
I do this sometimes, especially if it feels awkward to me. Example: the food court or something, and people keep glancing at me. "hi, I'm riggybee, how are you?" "um, I'm alright, thank you." etc. Just to kind of let them know I see them and also to be polite I guess.
Depends on how it comes across. I'm very flirty and charming, so if I have the impulse to strike up a convo or say something then I will. Depending on the context of course - going with the flow isn't a license to be a creep.
mbuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually try to give off signs that I don't want people to talk to me when I am in public (headphones in, avoiding eye contact, arm crossed, etc.), so I get even more irritated when random people try to initiate conversations with me. I am not on my phone in public very often, but I also want to be left alone in my bubble.
In regards to it being socially unacceptable to talking to a stranger, I don't think it is. People generally want to interact with other people to different degrees, so I would say it can be a good thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that is unacceptable, but I do think it can be unacceptable if the person isn't interested.
I'm not anti-social, but I am introverted, and it can take a lot of effort for me to maintain a conversation with a stranger. A 10 minute conversation with a stranger can be just as draining for me as a 12 hour party with friends.
serosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate this.
Even with people I know, small talk is damned annoying.
There is no way to put this without making myself look like the asshole, but I hate talking about mundane shit like the weather or how hot your coffee was this morning. I just do not give a fuck and would rather enjoy what solitude I have left before I die.
Where I live in Alabama it's socially unacceptable to not talk to people around you. Don't want to have a conversation in line at the grocery store? You're a rude motherfucker.
So I went to London. Wasn't aware those people don't like to talk to each other. The "tube" is supposed to be a silent place apparently.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Striking up a conversation with a stranger is a good way to pass the time.
There have been many occasions where I'm waiting a taxi/bus and just try to converse with anyone within a certain vicinity of me, a cigarette usually helps.
I used to do this on campus at the bus stop too. Even profs took the bus, so it felt like... it felt like as if they took off their prof-ness and became normal people equal to us commuter students. Sort of like how after actors finish filming a scene and take a break, they revert back to their regular personalities and chat up with each other even if they were archnemeses when shooting the film.
I don't mind having a conversation with a stranger but it seems like the only ones that actually start conversations with me can't read social cues.
I mean, five minutes of small talk about the weather is fine, but why do I look like I'm the guy to confirm all your ill-informed reactionary and racist opinions.
From the south here. It's not only NOT socially unacceptable it's actually considered good manners to be able to talk to total strangers. There really is such a thing as southern hospitality.
I found this out when I moved from New Jersey to Texas. In NJ talikng to somebody was "get away from me potential murderer." And in Texas "stop by the house for dinner some time"
I like this too and it used to be the socially correct thing to do. It would s rude to not acknowledge someone. Now you see people deliberately playing with their phone to avoid it.
In Texas it's pretty much a requirement to talk to strangers. I always do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My general rule is that if your going to be spending more than 5 minutes in close proximity to someone, you should get to know them. It's a safety and a health thing. Safety in terms of if you get in trouble or accidentally do something stupid, or just want to know whats good on the menu you got someone back you up. Health thing in the fact that there's a sense of security from knowing people around you and, on top of that, its healthy to socialize whether your extroverted or introverted.
I even reverse it and say to myself if someone near me needs help, I can help them and feel good. It's a part of the whole human being thing we have going for us, we work together, we build together.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to stay in my bubble because I'm shy, I'd love to talk to people but I just can't. I'm sure I could if I tried long enough but a lot of the time I just miss the oppertunity because they leave before I can get the courage up to say hello.
I went and had lunch alone at a cheap Italian place. When I told my coworker, he was flabbergasted that I had eaten by myself at a restaurant. He kept asking if it was awkward, etc. How is it awkward to go out and eat by yourself? I don't get it.
Really depends on the restaurant. The more casual it is, the more acceptable, I think. It'd be a little weird to see someone getting a 7 course meal with wine pairings alone, but a dude grabbing a burger and a beer at a local bar doesn't even attract a second's notice.
-t0m- ยท 1496 points ยท Posted at 18:35:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the city more than the restaurant. If you're in New York or Paris or something, you'll see people eating alone all the time. Those cities are flooded with business travelers who often prefer eating to starvation.
If you're out in the suburbs, it's probably less common
edit: (because business travelers in the suburbs prefer to kill themselves through starvation)
I don't know man... I saw this study once that showed an inverse relationship between calories intake and life span. So the less you eat the longer you live.
I live in the suburbs and constantly go out to eat by myself, it's honestly very nice and I've never been treated oddly for it. I also leave at least a 30% tip every time.
Only real problem is that older men will assume I want their company sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:50:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I traveled all over for a few years. Eating some of the best steaks in America, while charging the bill to a client, was pretty great. It definitely was better than starvation.
Heck I live in NYC and eat alone all the time, I go to bars alone, I go to the park alone, and museums and basically whatever I feel like doing. I don't always have time to wait for friends, life's too short and I make news ones along the way when I'm out by myself. Sometimes a group holds you back from truly enjoying yourself.
Dokpsy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I have traveled for work and never had any issues when I have eaten at a restaurant by myself. Now granted I usually will let the waiter know that I am in town for business and then ask what are their specialties. This usually warms up the situation and gets me pretty good service and good suggestions.
I agree. I'm an American in Tokyo for the summer, and it's really common to eat alone here. No one bats an eye really. Only at certain places is it hard, but if they have a counter, its the best because you'll get to eat faster than couples and groups.
You know, he may not be a native English speaker, or is having a brain fart.
jonsoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. (Or...a lady and a scholar, I suppose). Thank you for defending my comment.
My first language is English, and I was just pointing out a second way to read this statement. I guess it wasn't that well received though.
biosc1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even here in Vancouver, which isn't a huge metropolis, it is still totally normal to see people done alone. Usually I see people with a book or something to entertain themselves.
That's true, I'm usually eating alone at fast-casual type places. I've noticed getting breakfast alone seems to be more normal, even at nicer places. I can't say I go get expensive dinners alone, just because that's a luxury to me so I only do that with friends.
I actually know somebody that does it at extremely expensive places. His rationale is that he's not going to miss out on an epic once a year meal because he can't convince another person that it will be worth $400 dollars. In fact, once he explained it to me it helped me make sense of the fact that when I was at a two michelin star restaurant there was a guy there eating by himself drinking a shitload of wine and asking the wait staff everything they knew.
feb914 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i do that for all you can eat sushi place. i don't like rolls (too much rice, too fulfilling) while others tend to like rolls. rolls come in an order of 4/6, so there's always leftover that i have to eat too. i'm often laughed at when ordering a lot of food too, so i tend to only order a bit less than i'd like.
so i often eat alone just so that i can order to my heart's content without rolls, without being judged for eating too much (though the servers tend to force me to stop or reduce my orders).
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:48:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised, lots of business travelers eat fancy alone, they are used to it. I used to travel a lot, I didn't eat fancy every meal, but I did occasionally.
My job had me traveling alone for a while with a certain amount of money each day for meals so I'd go out to restaurants every night. It only takes 1-2 times out to get over the stigma of dining alone, especially once you realize no one else gives a shit except you.
I read an article before that you actually get better service and extras as a single person eating in a high end prix fix restaurant. The rationale is that you're really there for the food so they pay more attention to you and/or provide extra courses.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time I got stood up by a tinder date at one of my favorite restaurants. It's pretty small so I didn't want to inconvenience the owner by cancelling. Went it, had at least 5-6 (small) dishes with appropriate sake pairings and went home. Always wanted to get stood up at least once to see how I'd react. I think I nailed it. Would bang the owner too.
It'd probably be easier if the fancy place has booths, I know I'd be much more comfortable than if I was at a table in the middle of the floor. I'm a little biased though, I'd prefer a booth even if I'm eating with friends.
SirMike ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've done paired tasting menus at Michelin starred restaurants by myself. Sometimes it's nice to just not have to worry about conversation so you can just enjoy your meal and really concentrate on all the different flavors working together. I usually bring a book to keep me company, but sometimes never end up opening it.
In some ways, it makes more sense than the more casual places to me. The high-end places are usually where the chef is trying to tell you a story through food and has paid painstaking attention to every little detail, so being able to just let the meal speak to you can give you a much better appreciation for the experience. Grabbing a burger and a beer is a more social proposition to me.
I had to go away for work, so on the companies expense I had a 3 course meal in the hotel restaurant by myself... and i mean by myself there was no one else in there
When I'm working abroad I eat out by myself almost always and once I happened to be away for my birthday so I proceeded to go into a fancy restaurant and consume a 75$ meal by myself, I thoroughly enjoyed my huge meal and gave it all the attention it deserved without having to divert the attention toward someone else, it was a really great experience once you get past the visibly uncomfortable waitress and the people giving you weirded out glances while you just gobble away your food with a smile.
10/10 would do it again next year
Perk_i ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a useful trick at fancy restaurants - especially up and coming ones. Several times while traveling and looking for a good meal I've walked in by myself on a weeknight, without a reservation, and dressed just a little casually for the restaurant in question. The wait staff assumed I was a food critic, set me up at a good table, and occasionally hooked me up with off-menu specialties. The first couple of times I didn't think anything of it, just figured it was normal excellent service, but I've since had several waiters ask what website I write for at the end of the meal.
Name42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're 70 or older....then I'll assume your spouse just died and that's why you're alone. Then I feel sad for you for no reason. That might just be me.
I once noticed a girl eating by herself at a two Michelin star restaurant. I eat by myself all the time, but I would never think to go alone to a place with a $200 tasting menu.
feb914 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:53:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but I would never think to go alone to a place with a $200 tasting menu.
you would if all you care is the food taste. eating alone lets you enjoy the flavour more.
nbtscan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ate alone at one of emeril's restaurants in New Orleans, while on business travel. I made a reservation for one, put a tie on, and got the 6 course meal with wine pairing. Truffles just got in season and I was the first to order them that year. The chef actually greeted me at my table with a whole truffle. Truffles are super rich and each course only had shavings from the mushroom. I ended up spending a week's worth of per diem in one night for that meal!
It was a wonderful dinner by myself. At the time I traveled a lot and always ate alone. So, it was not unusual or ackward for me at all.
I had an older guy come into our restaurant and had a 4 course meal and over a half bottle of wine just chillin by himself. I sat and talked to him a bit but he was just hanging out treating himself on a Friday night. I think its completely normal.
I did that exactly (7 course with wine pairings) at wd~50 in New York before they closed. I couldn't get anyone to cough up the money to go with me and sat at the bar, although they had reserved a table for me. The servers guessed (correctly) that I was in the restaurant industry and kept my glasses full all night & chatted me up ;)
Didn't feel weird at all, but I am someone who frequently and happily eats at more casual restaurants alone.
I hate when someone goes to do something alone and spends the entire time on their phone talking. I've seen it many, many times. That does not count and you're obnoxious.
I was an intern in Philadelphia a few years ago and knew no one in the city, I'd have every Monday off so I started "posh lunch Mondays" going to all the fancy places in town and having the lunch special on my own. It was great, staff were nicer, you got your food quicker, and since it was a quiet day for business I always got a great table.
Oh, no, not at all. I'm 42 and spent about ten years of my life in relationships. I've been engaged twice. But I've also spent many years single and I am right now. I don't know if I'll get into another relationship. If it happens, it happens.
Anyhow, I go anywhere and everywhere by myself. Hole-in-the-wall ethnic places to nice restaurants.
If anything, the nice restaurants are easy to dine solo at. Many times, I've been able to skip lines because they have a small table for one or two open, while those in parties have to wait. I don't do anything special for this. I go in with a smile and make a little friendly small talk with the person up front. Ask if they've been busy and tell them that they're doing a good job if they say yes.
One person is easy on the waitstaff. I don't ask for substitutions or special orders and never send stuff back. I want my water refilled a few times, but that's no big deal. Then I leave at least 20%.
From what I can tell, the restaurants like this just fine. After I've gone somewhere three or four times, they usually remember me and some places ask if I want the same thing and know what I like. (Hey, I'm predictable.) I don't think that would happen if I was being a pain in the ass.
Also depends on culture. South Koreans (based on my trip there and also from asking Koreans) seem to be particularly uncomfortable about eating alone and will always try to eat in groups. A lot of restaurants as well will have certain dishes that are for a minimum of two people. I love eating alone and didn't really like the stares and look of confusion on waitstaff's faces when I said I'd be eating alone.
You need to see the episode of Friends where Joey eats everyone's food at Phoebes party because they left. That is essentially what happens when the food arrives.
I went out the other day for breakfast at a popular sit down breakfast place in the area. And by popular I mean 20-40 minute wait usually. They call out for parties when the tables are ready. There was some dude in his 40s who waited a while. It was weird to hear the hostess call out "That guy, party of one." Don't think I could ever do that. He looked like a weirdo. Breakfast made it seem extra weird for some reason. To each their own, but for me, at a restaurant I usually need it to be bar seating or 1/2 empty if I get a table. I don't want to look like a weirdo! I'll take the mumu!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is typically how I eat out, I'll roll up to a bar and get some food, I'm kind of an introvert so if there's no one there I like no problem but if I run into some friends there that works too.
I think it depends on the time as well. A person eating alone at 1pm on a weekday is just someone on their lunch break from work. Totally acceptable (depending on the restaurant as you said). A person eating alone on a weekday at 6:30 is just someone too tired to cook after a long day at work. Totally acceptable (again depending on the restaurant). A person eating alone on a Saturday night is a loner that can't get a date/friends and doesn't have anything better to do. Looooserrrr
I find the main problem with dining alone is that the wait-staff feel like they have to make small talk with you which is the opposite of the reason you are dining alone to start with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was single, I often dined alone at fancy restaurants because all my friends complained it was too expensive. I was actually treated very nicely by the staff and usually got to sit at the bar and/or close to the kitchen, which made it even more entertaining. I still do it from time to time.
Nah man. I prefer to eat at nice restaurants alone. I don't have to chit chat and I can focus on enjoying my food. I can eat at whatever pace I like, order my own appetizers and really enjoy the food.
Actually I really like going to really good restaurants alone. No way of saying this without sounding either pretentious, obsessive or both, but sometimes I really just want to focus on enjoying the food (and wine/other drinks) rather than being social.
MrMane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Been there, done that. Nobody gives a fuck. At least not in Nevada/California/Oregon. In Finland, you'll get some looks in fancier places.
I agree - the fancier the restaurant, the more awkward. I eat out alone all the time on business trips. It's fine mostly. But I went to a high-end steak house once by myself, before rush time. All alone eating a nice steak was... sad.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:22:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never notice anyone acting like it's weird that I eat alone, but maybe it's because I just don't care enough to notice what they think
Headphones. Not earbuds but headphones. If they still insist on talking to you when you're clearly not in a position to hear them, there's nothing you could have done
I do this as well, but that's because I'm a parent and the moments of eating by myself are glorious.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My job feeds me, so now I sit alone to eat 4/5 days of the week. I've gotten so used to it that I don't even blink at the thought of going out for whatever food I want and eating it there by myself. I don't see the big deal anymore, I'm hungry and alone so its time to eat alone. Food doesn't require someone to help you eat.
I work in the Alberta Oil & Gas industry and travel all around the province, usually 20 days out of the month, staying 5-6 days in a one towne at a time. Since I spend a lot of time in hotels alone I frequently eat at restaurants/ bars alone. I've had situations where people have flat out asked me if I was stood up. I don't understand this stigma in the slightest.
I can sit at a bar alone and eat, feels a little weird being at at table alone.
si828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did this a lot when travelling with work but I always found it a little awkward, always ended up on my phone, the cinema on my own though is always something I've wanted to do
I love eating alone. It's like the only free time I get. My fiance can't do anything on her own and thinks it's the weirdest thing when I'm like "yea I got Chipotle today" "oh, who'd you go with?" "No one just me" que flabbergasted.
In my experience, you don't get odd looks dining alone these days if you have a book or a computer/phone to 'keep you company'. Eat without external stimuli (other than the food), though, and you're under suspicion again.
I'm on a business trip and had dinner out tonight. It was a nice-ish local restaurant and the waiting list for a regular table was 90+ minutes. Was drinking a beer at the bar within four minutes and eating dinner within fifteen.
Ran4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck? Have you never been to a non-fastfood restaurant?
I don't get how it'd be weird. Don't people generally eat alone on lunch breaks anyways. I'm too lazy to pack a lunch every day, and have some extra income, so I eat out alone for my lunch hour fairly often.
I do the same. Like I said, I don't think people really care anymore. If you eat a fancy/expensive dinner alone, maybe, but otherwise nobody notices or cares.
I don't think it's weird if people do it, but personally I'd feel weird doing it. At least going to the movies you have something to entertain you. At a restaurant I'd just eat and stare into space or play on my phone, and I can do those things while eating in my bed.
Meals are a shared experience in most cultures, some see eating alone as depressing which makes you lose appetite. I'm reasonably good at cooking but find it depressing to do so for only myself and to eat alone.
My girlfriend is much the same way. Whenever she calls during lunch and I'm out eating somewhere she'll ask who I'm with; when I tell her I'm alone her response is usually some variation of, "Oh, I'm so sorry".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've only been snowboarding once, and while it was with a friend we only spent time together at the beginning so she could teach me the basics. After that I was free to practice as much - and as slowly - as I wanted as she took more complicated routes without having to worry about me dragging her down. I thought that worked out quite well.
Larsjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cohrt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you coworker is probably also someone who hates "awkward" silences and fills them with meaningless bullshit. I think some people just hate being alone with thier own thoughts
Lunch is far more acceptable to the general public for solitary eating than dinner is. Lunch is just something that happens in the middle of the day. Stumbling onto our next meal so we don't starve.
Dinner seems more planned. Especially at a nice place. Plus it's this token dating staple that people go to dinner together.
I do this in school in the cafeteria. I just sit alone, eat and browse Reddit on my phone. People think I have no friends.... And they might be right about that.
Yay, go us friendless people! Woohoo! :) I used to get to school half an hour early every day so I could be by myself. I could get so much homework done in half an hour alone.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I even used to do that before cell phones! We had news on actual dead trees back in those days.
It feels awkward for me to attempt it. I don't know why. Especially since if I see someone eating at a restaurant alone I don't think anything of it. I don't know why I can't bring myself to do it.
Sometimes my thoughts even delve into "I am going to make the waiter/waitress feel awkward for having to serve someone sitting at a table alone." Intellectually I know that that's a stupid thought and if it was true I shouldn't care anyway...but it is enough for me to feel awkward and sit alone at home instead.
Nadril ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there not just a bar you can sit at in these places? I guess it's just the types of places I tend to go out and eat at (more so brewpub style things than straight up restaurants) but I typically just go sit at the bar.
Nothing weird about someone just going to sit up at the bar and get some food alone.
For me, at least in my mind, bar == drinking. I don't want to drink, I just want to eat. I'm not really a fan of alcohol. Is it really that common to just eat at the bar without drinking (alcohol)?
The bar is great at a popular place because often you get the full menu without having to wait for a table/reservation. Doesn't work well for a part of 4, but 1-2 people? Always.
Nadril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people do it before. Personally, I'm a really big craft beer person so going out to the bar for me is getting a couple of drinks & food.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously I wish it was more acceptable. There's so many good places I want to eat at but there's never anybody who's available to go.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's something he wants to try but is too afraid of being judged
I love to walk to a small breakfast diner near me whenever I get the chance. Cool thing is once you've been in there enough times they start to recognize you and chat with you because you're a regular and suddenly it's not such a lonely meal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who travel for work reasons learn the art of eating alone. It's not awkward--it's fun to people watch, etc. and if you feel awkward eating by yourself, just pull out your cell phone, tablet, ebook reader, REAL book, newspaper, etc. It can be relaxing.
The weird thing about that is that it isn't awkward, not for you not for the server not for the other patrons. No one gives a crap at all in the actual moment yet people constantly describe it as awkward.
It makes very little sense. I find it's especially common with movies, perhaps because many people consider going to the movies a 'social event'
falisa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat lunch alone a decent amount since I pretty much work in an office by myself everyday. Most restaurants have zero reaction to you eating alone and its a nonissue 99% of the time. There is one restaurant I love their ramen at but I don't go because every single time I go, they give me a weird eye the entire time I'm there by myself. Its really not that weird people. I constantly see people eating by themselves at a lot of the places I go to.
Before smartphones, if you didn't bring a book or something with you, the time between when you order and when your food arrives you'll just be sitting there with nothing to do, and that doesn't really sound appealing to a lot of people
I do it frequenty when traveling for work, but definitely do it other times too. The only thing is I generally sit at the bar when I do it rather than a table. It's kind of common courtesy, as tables generally seat 2 or 4, and being placed at one I just made the restaurant forgo 3 seats worth of potential revenue. At the bar I'm just taking up 1 stool.
Bobo480 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your coworker is an idiot, especially at lunch. You work with people all day, why the fuck do I want to eat lunch with you every day as well.
Now eating dinner at a restaurant by yourself, that is fucked.
ruckdiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know it was a faux pas. I travel around the city for my job so I always stop in random restaurants by myself.
jazz4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of those things where in a cafe/diner no one bats an eye, but if it's in a restaurant, people think you're certifiably insane.
I got to town early for my pool league so I went to a local applebees before and sat at the bar by myself and found some good conversation with the bartender and the other 3 people that were sitting around the bar. If I were with someone else I would have probably ignored all of them and not shared their experiences as I did then.
I work for an IT outsourcing company and a big part of my job is traveling and putting out fires/dealing with potentially angry customers. Some days sitting down at Taco Bell after the lunch rush and browsing Reddit in peace is the only escape I get. It's a half hour of god damn bliss I don't want ruined with banter.
I like it. I usually bring kindle and read while waiting and / or eating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only as awkward as you make it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually quit a job primarily over this. Every day it was like a group thing, everyone goes to lunch. Ya... Not happening.
I don't mind eating with my co-workers every now and then, bit lunch is my time, don't pressure me into feeling like a weirdo for just leaving for lunch on my own...
I enjoy eating alone at the Japanese places in my town. I don't have to worry about my friends being rudely loud, saying embarrassing things, blah blah. I can just sit and enjoy a quiet, nutritious meal and maybe a beer.
I sometimes travel for work and would end up eating alone the majority of the time. I actually like it. It's peaceful and you can people watch.
I prefer eating alone to sometimes really awkward coworker dinners. One time I had to eat dinner at my hotel with our site controller, who I had just met that morning after a red-eye flight. He was probably 45+ year old british guy, I was a 22 year American girl, and there were maybe 3 other couples in the restaurant. I looked like his mistress.
I had a friend who was so against eating alone he would pay for my food if I drove to his work and ate with him. Orange chicken tastes even better when it's free.
Joetato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had breakfast by myself at a Denny's once. It was fine. I don't particularly like eating in restaurants in general, though, so I rarely go in any form. I do get take out a lot, though.
I recently went to a new restaurant that just opened near me. I ended up doing a review of it for a website I write for, but it was a spur of the moment thing. When I went in, I wasn't intending to do a review. Funny thing, the head chef apparently thought that because I came in solo, I was a food critic.
I ate at a local cheap Asian food place because of the munchies. I was sitting alone when people at the table behind me were talking about how awkward it is to eat alone as I was sitting there eating alone awkwardly. I didn't know people actually still judge for eating alone. I live in a college town and most my friends go home for the summer.
ponte92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student interstate that's lives and does most things alone. I love it eating alone is the best cause I get to go where I want!
I travel for work a lot. I frequently eat alone. Sometimes it's slightly depressing. But then I remember that I'm eating a fancy meal that I don't have to pay for, and I just order more drinks...
Well you have 30 minutes to sit there and wait for your food, but now you have no one to talk to. Then again, everyone's on their phone these days anyway so probably not as much of a problem as it used to be.
Especially a weekday lunch. Fuck y'all, I'm trying to finish this book I don't want friends right now! I'll socialize again when I'm on the clock and supposed to be working!
It would be perhaps a little awkward at a fancy restaurant, mainly because it's harder to act casual and looks rather unusual (most people go to fancy restaurants with someone, though not that there's anything wrong with going just for the great food).
But at some bistro near my work? Why the hell wouldn't I go alone. Your coworker either just comes from a non Canadian/American culture or is just a bit naive. Go to any city and half of the people sitting in casual restaurants are alone.
Perk_i ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've found that having a book along eliminates the strange looks. If you're just there with the food and your own thoughts, you're a weirdo. If you're reading, you're a normal person escaping for a quick lunch.
I think it has to do more with the social stigma around wasting time than about being alone - at least in the U.S. There are acceptable diversions, and if you're not engaged in one of them or actively at work, then you're a slacker. Reading a book is perfectly acceptable, and if you do it over lunch it's a good use of time. Play video games for eight hours on the weekend and you're obviously on welfare and taking food from the mouths of hard working billionaires.
I don't leave home to go out just to eat by myself per say, but I have eaten many times alone, either when I'm in/around the area (like the city) or I get somewhere early and am just waiting for someone.
I enjoy it, and especially shopping alone. As much as I love company, I would never get to see all the shops/places I wanna go to if I have other people around.
One time I got to a place about an hour+ early, waiting for my bro and cousins to arrive later so we could watch a movie. I thought ah yeah, I got time to kill, I'll get something to eat at this restaurant/bar/bistro. The woman there asks me if I'm here for dinner, I say yes, and she kinda looks around and then asks "by yourself? " and I answer yeah. She's kinda like "oh, ok" looking a little sorry for me or something, lol. Then she finds me a table next to a TV and says "oh we can sit you next to a TV here if you like" and smiles. I just found it funny. It's ok lady, I'm fine, I just want food, lol.
I'm hungry dammit and i wanna eat. I don't want some bullshit stigma to ruin my glorious cheeseburger
pharuan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya I eat alone pretty often. I travel alot for work and play and I dont even think about it anymore. Who has the time to worry about what some random asshole thinks about me.
When I first got to college, one of our RAs told us that she went out to eat by herself to challenge her anxiety about it. Ever since then, I viewed it as part of becoming a well-adjusted adult to be able to be by yourself with your thoughts.
Higher end can get awkward, but the experience is totally worth it.
uma100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on where you live people here (NYC) do it all the time especially at lunch time you'll see people eating by themselves and heading back to their office.
I love to go to chinese buffets by myself, its hard to find a real chinese buffet lover and i can do without all the wierd looks when im enjoying whatever it is im enjoying
Unfortunately, I don't travel a lot. I hate driving, but I hate flying even more, so I avoid traveling as much as possible.
markur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a small casual restaurant as a waitress and I get so many customers that come in and eat alone. And they're regulars too. It's really not that weird.
Being able to eat at your own pace, without having to talk between bites, or have to focus on conversation...it's pretty nice. You can savor each bite without having someone interrupt every five seconds.
I get mildly shocked when people do that because of my own social anxiety. It's just hard for me to imagine being alone during an entire meal when I can't even order for myself lol.
Hugs, my friend. Hugs. I currently work at a bank where I am required to make small talk. I give myself small pep talks between customers. "That's okay, Shakey_Bakey, you can ask this person how they are doing today. You can do it, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up - oh, shit. I fucked it up..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to go to this Thai restaurant every week on my day off, by myself. The hostess/owner was extremely kind but always seemed concerned that I didn't have a man taking me. Mostly I loved having my curry salmon to myself.
Why the HELL would I even RISK sharing my curry salmon with anyone? Does this woman not have priorities?
Okay, that was a bit mean. But I understand completely. I have gone to the movies by myself, too. On more than one occasion, I have gotten a very hesitant, "You just want...one ticket?" response. LOL
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood this either. I work with people all day every day, most of which are the same people I was working with the day before. I'm not opposed to social outings with a crew of friends, but aside from that why would I try to obligate someone to come out just because I'm hungry? When I eat at home I'm eating alone. So why on earth would there be anything deterring me from hitting a fancy steak house and gorging myself on appetizers, a juicy 9oz filet, and a few glasses of wine like I'm a motherfuckin king? If I wanna talk to people I'll just lean into the next booth over and start a chat. Nobody can blame me, I'm on my fourth glass. And I'm not paying for anybody else's meal so I'm about to go for number five. What's your name? Nice to meet you Steve, I'm fat and happy and doing my thing. Is this you're boyfriend? No? He's just the guy that fucked your sister. But no one else was available to go for dinner so you figured it was this or starve. Fuckin sucker. Have my doggy bag. I'm going to the movies.
Worth it. I've gone to my favorite local bar right after work for a beer and a burger. I'll just enjoy the ability to watch ESPN, check my phone, and get fat. Edit: in public. I do that frequently at home.
Oh my god, it's glorious to find a pretty empty bar on a Sunday in the fall in the US. I'll get there like an hour before football starts, order a drink with lunch and not leave until 7PM.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:16:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I've tried reading a book in a bar. I was interrupted every 5-10 minutes by people going "What?! You're reading a book in a bar?! Fascinating! What's it about? Also, why are you reading in a bar?"
Ebooks. Now you can stare at your phone just like everyone else, but maybe actually improve yourself. Or at least have better entertainment than whatever sportsing is occurring on the tvs.
Seriously, I sit in a pub and read on my phone all the damn time. Oddly more relaxing than doing it at home, cause of the variety of beer I have at my disposal, and the fact I "stay on task" reading and chilling more than at home, so to speak.
When I moved to Phoenix for a few months, I'd take my laptop and my dog to the bar around the corner and get work done. Inevitably I'd end up making friends and getting drunk, but I drafted many an email at that place.
Agree with this. Shortly after moving in to my own apartment after living with room mates for years, I went to a local bar and had lunch and a few drinks on a Saturday by myself. Watched some soccer, talked to the people around me and it was super enjoyable. The hardest part is talking yourself into doing it.
Opset ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:49:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been doing this since I turned old enough to drink so I don't really think about it anymore. Can't even remember if it was hard the first time or not.
mivipa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I love this too. I travel somewhat frequently for work, and I love having the chance to explore a city on my own. Every night I'll go to a new place for dinner (usually a bar or something similar), eat by myself, talk to whoever I meet there, and generally have a great time. It's amazing how much more you can learn about a place when you're open to meeting new people, not just hanging out with your partner/friends/colleagues/whoever.
Do it! As a former bartender, as long as you are nice and polite you will usually get great service. I loved chatting with the regulars who worked downtown and just wanted a slice of pizza and a beer.
I don't do it often, but this is definitely a great way to spend some time
My last birthday,I went to my favourite pub on my own, early in the afternoon. Just sat in a corner by myself, reading a good book, drinking my favourite cider, put a couple of good songs on the jukebox, it was wonderful. Once it got to about 9pm, and the place started filling up,I was quite drunk, tottered home, picked up a pizza on the way, watched one of my favourite films and fell asleep.
Not saying I'd do that every week, but it was definitely one of the best days I've had in a couple of years
I live in Seoul. I eat at a pub alone all the time.
Well, after about the 5th or 6th time, I knew the bartenders and the other regulars and I was no longer eating alone. That was 4 years ago. I'm never alone now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is solid advice, and if bringing a book to a restaurant/bar setting makes you uncomfortable, get an e-book on your phone. All the joy of reading without needing to carry a book and no one can tell what you're doing.
Oddly, I got hit on more while sitting at a bar reading and minding my own business than any other time. Something about a book at a bar seems to scream "talk to me!" Apparently. And they don't take the hint.
"What are you reading?"
silently show cover, keep reading
"Oh, is it good?"
"So far" keep reading
"So what do you do here?"
Oh for the love of burgers, I read, okay? I sit here, and I eat my sandwich, and I drink my cider, and I read. Until now. ARGH.
Fair. But still, with one word non-answers you'd think they'd take a hint. Also, I didn't read every time, I would just hang out and chat with the bartenders, but I rarely got hit on then.
Oh, well if you were in NYC I'd take you out for a beer. Have you tried meetups? When I moved to a new city, I found it to be a pretty nice way of meeting new people. They have groups for different interests or activities, which is kind of cool. It can be difficult moving to a new place, but there are lots of people in similar situations looking for new friends. It's just a matter of going out and meeting them.
It is, it's pretty much the only option for dining alone. Because you are facing the TV's and the bartender, you can talk to the bartender or those around you, or do nothing. At a table you're loneliness is on display.
My mentality has become 'I want to go do stuff and I'm not going to wait on other people to go do it' go meet people doing things alone.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
every time I eat at a bar alone I end up sparking up a conversation with the bartender or someone else eating or drinking alone. It's my favorite thing to do...
If I'm eating alone (on a business trip, etc) my go to move is going to eat at a bar. When you sit at the bar you always end up meeting some people around you to talk to, or at least the bartender. And if not there's almost always ESPN on TV. Plus beer.
Eh, this can sometimes backfire. Most people equate a woman sitting at the bar alone means she's interested in company or open to being hit on. Especially hotel bars
Bobo480 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Easy way to find new people to talk to, people are a bit buzzed so always more social.
The first thing I always try to do when I moved to a new town is find a bar with awesome bartenders and a good after work crowd. Becoming a regular has its perks for sure. So dont think going to often is a bad thing.
This. Know exactly no one outside of my coworkers (who are 20+ years older than me), so I've been going to the movies alone, shopping alone, etc. Still not eaten at a bar alone though.
TL;DR~ Going to a bar alone on 4th of July kicked ass.
All my friends were busy 4th of July and I had a little extra money to play with for the first time in a while. So since I live in a small town in Texas, maybe a mile from downtown, I took my bike to the main drag to explore and look for hole in the wall places to chill at.
First stop was a cafรฉ where the food was downright otherworldly. Best sandwich I've ever had, roast beef and onions caramelized to perfection. I don't even remember what it was called but I had the the most unbelievably delicious and expensive coffee drink ever, and a salad so good, I enjoyed eating the tomatoes for the first time in over a decade.
But I left unsatisfied in quantity, like any good American, so, unlike a good American, I went to a burger place across the street and ordered a giant salad. The spicy vinaigrette wasn't all that great, but it was certainly an experience. The place was alright though, and they were showing football games for both the Women's World Cup and Copa America, so that was fun to watch. After having had my fill of salad, I chatted outside with a dude on a smoke break about the penalty kick by Messi that he missed and left for my next destination.
So I biked back across the street to a bar that had hosted a small rock music festival back in May that makes its own sangria, my favorite drink. Lo and behold, it's happy hour and they're two bucks a pop. So I order and start shooting the shit with the bartender looks like something out of a Sum 41 music video, and it turns out we're both into punk and ska and reeeeaaaaally like Rancid.
So far, I'm having the time of my life getting drunk on my own at four in the afternoon.
So on like my third sangria, the bartender, the other patron at the bar, some really cute girl named Jen, and I all go out to the bar patio to smoke. We're all hanging out drinking, smoking, and listening to the Indestructible album, when I go back inside to get my drink freshened up. Well, when I come back outside there's the guy from the burger place and his friend, so I introduced myself and it turns out burger place guy speaks Spanish as well and suddenly I've made another friend.
And that's how the whole night went. People started trickling in and by the early evening, there were twelve people sitting at like five tables dragged together, including the bartender. That night, I sang Fields of Anthenry at the top of my lungs, got into arguments about Doctor Who and Firefly, flirted, made plans to start a band, and chain smoked four mini cigars.
Simply put, going out to a bar, on my own, in the middle of the afternoon, was the best decision I've ever made.
I ate at a bar one day when i was having a shitty month and just needed a day to myself. Called out of work and spent the day in the city. Went to a bar, sat at the bar, ordered a drink and read. It was nice and exactly what I needed.
I started playing pool when I moved. It was a little less intimidating to go to a pool hall alone because I had something to focus on and once you can play a little it's rare that you haven't started shooting with someone else by the end of a night.
started playing pool when I moved. It was a little less intimidating to go to a pool hall alone because I had something to focus on and once you can play a little it's rare that you haven't started shooting with someone else by the end of a night.
I just moved to a new city two weeks ago, it's not awkward eating alone at all. Though I would rather eat with someone, but that may be because I'm waiting for when my SO moves out here next month.
Tag613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pubs are great for this, sit at the bar and order a pint and ask for the menu. Perfect quiet time.
do it! ...i was in a new town and had a coupon for 2 meals and 2 drinks for 10GBP ....so went and had both meals and drinks to myself ....got a few odd looks but it was a good time.
Eating at a bar alone great, even more so if you're in a city. Talk to the waitstaff and bartenders, tell them you're new to the area and are looking for things to do. As long as you aren't creepy or annoying, people will gladly tell you what they like about the place.
Done this, is tough at first. But go to the bar and get some apps that people see and want some off (basket of fries, nachos, etc)... hang out and look like you are enjoying yourself (have an interesting story of why you are there, etc). You can attract people to talk to doing this. If you are a guy and another guy comes to talk to you, just go with it.... even if you are there to meet girls. That guy will now be your "friend" should the opportunity arise to talk to girls. This makes you WAY more approachable.
Dude it's awesome. I used to live in a city and went out to movies alone all the time, went to the bar and ate alone. Also it was cool because the bar I went to had wifi and I could bring my laptop and sit and browse the internet while I ate my dinner.
I eat at bars alone quite frequently due to work. Not weird in the slightest, seeing as I almost ALWAYS make friends or meet someone anyway because everyone's drinking. Some of the best nights I've had have been with complete strangers. Like at the strip club in Laduc Alberta where I met a felon from Texas just recently released, an Australian who was only 4 hours into his first time in Canada, and a stripper with three nips.
Hey man, I moved to a new city six years ago and started going to bars alone after like 2 years, I should've started immediately. I'm not a bar fly or anything of the sort but on a Friday night after a long shift I go sit my ass in a comfy both, drink some beer and wait for the chill witnesses to bring me food and beverages, it's heavenly to be waited on after you've put in a hard week slumming it with your coworkers.
Sometimes I read, sometimes I reddit, sometimes I bring my laptop and work on my book, sometimes I sit at the bar and chat with all varieties of people.
jvr7348 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to a bar in a new city and eating alone isn't bad. Get to know your local bartenders. They usually know your city the best and may hook you up with a free drink or two.
It's very fun! As someone else said, you can go when you want, leave when you want, drink however much you want. Most importantly can choose your bar and to try somewhere new! I highly recommend.
kf4ypd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did it for the better part of two years before I found a reliable group of friends. I kind of miss it, ended up having a lot of chats with people I never would have said a word to otherwise.
You're never alone at the bar. Have had some great conversations with barkeeps--any decent bartender is going to be someone who has some stories and knows how to keep a conversation going. Also, they're some of the best sources of local knowledge going.
whuzez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Travel for business and you get used to eating anywhere alone really fast.
My boyfriend did this all the time when he spent a summer on the other coast. He got on friendly terms with the bartender and read a lot. Didn't sound so bad :)
We live in California, so the East Coast. I kind of hoped that putting "other coast" would be more helpful, because for all you know he could have gone from Ohio to Virginia, but I'm not sure if it worked.
A bar is the best first step if you want to chat with others. Sit at the bar instead of a table near someone who looks like a regular, looks like they might be alone or looks like they aren't entranced in conversation with the people they are with. The people who talk to the bartender are the best people to sit next to. You'll save the bartender from unnecessary distraction, and you'll have someone easy to talk to who probably has no trouble leading the conversation. Go to a restaurant and/or get a table if you just want some time on your own
Seeing a movie on your own is awesome. You get there exactly when you want to, see exactly what you want to see, leave exactly when you want to, and you don't have to have any conversations you don't want to. It's beautiful.
EDIT: Thanks to /u/OHAITHARU for reminding me of the big one: you sit where you want to sit!
EDIT2: I absolutely can believe that my highest-rated comment is about doing something fun regardless of whether you look cool doing it. That's what life is about!
I tried that for the first time a couple weeks ago. It was everything I imagined it could be and more. I left when I wanted too, didn't have to share snacks. Found a perfect seat as well. 10/10 would recommend
I've started doing this now that I've got a little expendable income and I realize that I love going to the movies, but I hated the hassle of getting a group together to pick a time, arrange rides, select a movie everybody likes, etc. I'm normally a really social guy but after a few movies by myself, I realize that it's awesome. I went and saw Interstellar because I had a few hours in Chicago by myself and I recently went and saw Jurassic World because nobody else was free. Agreed, 10/10 would recommend.
[deleted] ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 18:00:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever gone to a movie alone... and then realized no one else is in the theater? It's like your own private screen. Except when it's a horror flick and then you're totally getting the fear.
The trick is to going on a weekday for the first showing of the day, my theater has an early bird special for $4.50 for a 9 am show, NO ONE EVER GOES , Avengers : Age of Ultron was 10x better without hearing 100 normies munch popcorn simultaneously
I did this for Paranormal Activity 4, say what you will about the franchise but when you're alone in the cinema and it's on a huge screen in front of you it's bloody scary.
Yes! Interstellar was the first movie I watched alone, also, since all of my friends had already watched it and I didn't want them to inadvertently give anything away. I'm thinking of doing the same with Jurassic World.
That's why I sit alone in front of my PC/TV and watch movies. I love the cinema, but people like to be assholes and talk or text or whatever. Fuck them. I want to enjoy the fucking movie, that's why I'm here. If you wanna talk, get the fuck out.
r4ve88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/interstellar. Still active today even though the movie came out ages ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was my first alone movie too! I took myself on a date for Chinese mall food and a movie (SO was at a conference) and I drank right around 40oz water before I sat down at the theater. I didn't even realize I had to pee until the credits rolled- and that's a 3hr long film. What an amazing experience, I was so involved in it. I've been going alone every once in a while since.
I saw the Incredibles, everyone else wanted to see Oceans whatever's the number was at the time. I didn't, told them I'd wait for them since mine got out earlier. I came out satisfied, they came out disappointed.
I wanted to watch interstellar in IMAX, but all my friends said that it was too expensive. I went by myself, and it is no doubt the best cinematic experience I have lived through.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:12:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends doesn't love the movies as much as I do, or not enough to ahem pay for them at least so I simply got tired of harassing them (and they're probably glad for it too) to go for this and that movie so I just started to go alone.
Would also recommend.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started doing this a couple years ago...it has become a habit now and I really don't like going to the movies anymore with other people. It's not like you need to talk to each other during the movie.
People who talk during movies annoy me. I don't mind as much if it's at home and I can pause the movie, but in the theater it drives me up a wall. I paid money to be here, ask me after.
Lol. I just saw Ex Machina when I fucking felt like it this last semester of college. Pop that popcorn for me. I am the reason you have a job, and you're damn right I'm getting this entire aisle to myself. Best movie time ever. Something, something procrastinating finals studying.
I just saw Jurassic World by myself a few weeks ago! A lot of people had already seen it and I didn't want to wait to wrangle a group to go. It was awesome and going to the movies solo is an experience I tend to repeat!
My warning to you is be careful. I have loved solo activities for a decade now. I consider myself a social gent as well and always have. It may sound weird but I grew to love my solo time.
To the point that people stopped inviting me anywhere because I said no so often. Five kids in my family, involved church life, social was what I knew.
Realizing I had the power to say no to an invite, the power to decide when and where I chose to spend my time, was addicting. I lost the social aspect of living life, and started doing everything by myself until I realized that I literally did everything by myself.
Realizing I didn't want to spend the rest of my life like that, I've started swinging back the other way. Saying yes when I didn't want to, inviting a few people over to watch the game I had planned on watching alone, basically feels like I need to force myself to feel the draw of social interaction.
The irony of what I advise is not lost on me, as I sit at a bar on my fifth beer, finished with dinner as the last third of the Haiti/Honduras match begins. I neglected to invite a few friends I know for a fact are watching right now, and I hate that I learn more about me through inspection of other people than I do through introspection.
Anyway, I hate tl;dr's, but balance solo time with social time. You'll find harmony in the balance.
I wanted to go out to see a blockbuster, looked up all the ones they had showing, ended up choosing one I wouldn't have asked someone else to see with me, kind of a historical romance, sparse theater with mostly only adults, good experience good movie. The Water Diviner
NaFoton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watched movie alone, had a blast. Girlfriend mad, we go for same movie. Movie is shit now, feels bad man
herrbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well this all sounds very positive. Think I'll treat myself to a meal, beer, and movie all by my lonesome this weekend, it sounds pretty awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man this seems cool. Want to go watch a movie with me?
TomSG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to see Interstellar alone at 11:30pm on a random tuesday night after it'd been out for over a month. I was the only guy in the entire screen. They played that movie "just" for me. It was absolutely amazing. Having the whole screen to yourself late at night is something only millionaires can dream of. I highly recommend it!.
I watched interstellar alone in IMAX. I went during a weird time and the theater was basically empty. It was... Amazing. Sorry, got emotional thinking about how awesome it was.
I'm not gonna diss going to the movies solo, because it is great. But I think the main reason you have bad memories of doing it in groups is the method; you said "hey let's see a movie," got a group together, and chose a movie. But completely stress free and super easy is to only go to the movies when there's a movie you want to see. A group forms around the movie, and you don't have to choose a movie for the group.
Of course, I don't mind sharing snacks, but if you don't I'm sure you won't lose any friends.
My Interstellar experience was not so stellar because of the giggling and jokes that were made by my friend group. You might be thinking "What jokes? It's not like you can easily make fun of the movie." I would agree. Their jokes were just bad. "Haha he said tesseract like in The Avenegers haha!" It's still one of my favorite movies, though.
My standing rule is to tell the friends who might find the movie interesting when and what I'm seeing. If they're free, splendid. If not, it's whatever.
Totally agree. Near my childhood home in LA, there's a theater where we used to go as kids. It's since fallen on hard times and in an effort to save itself it's become one of those second-run cheap theaters, and I freaking love it.
$3.00 for a movie most days of the week, $1.50 on Sundays and Tuesdays, and $1 hot dogs every day. I'm there seeing movies alone ALL the time, and kicks so much ass.
I'm on board with this.
I have monthly membership card for a cinema chain that lets me see any movie for free at any time. This means I can go to the local cinema whenever.
The only reason I don't do it more often is that I really like the experience of sharing a good film with a friend, especially if it's a film I've been looking forward to (Avengers, Jurassic World, Ant Man etc). IMO nothing beats watching an awesome film with friends who are loving it as much as you are.
Something like Robocop on the other hand, I'm more than happy to watch on my lonesome.
Mcquiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had actually seen Furious 7 alone because then I wouldn't have been laughed at for crying at the ending.
Getting one buddy is usually what I do. Spur of the moment, meet at the movie if we don't have time to pick each other up, grab a later showing and have dinner a beer first if we feel rushed. It's nice, and less trouble than getting half a dozen people, but I still have someone to discuss the movie with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More movie theaters need bar/lounge areas. And not the "$50 bag of popcorn" type places, but reasonable local places. I'm sure byzantine exclusive contracts and whatever make this hard, but I've been to a few theaters somewhat along these lines ($1-5 tickets, an actual kitchen, casual, but usually older films)
I like to take it that extra step as well. Weekend matinee or middle of the week late night? You get the whole theater to yourself. It has become my preferred movie viewing experience.
WTF, what was your normal movie experience, am I the only one who drives with the person you go there with? Arrives before the movie? Leave after its over? WTF are you guys just leavng in the middle of it?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah the best thing is you can get the best seats because you dont have to find 3 or 4 seats next to eachother
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, if you're married, going by yourself means the tickets only cost half as much!
My $25 movie experience with wife and kid becomes a $10 experience of my own. The extra $5 is for popcorn. We can never go to the theater without the wife buying outrageously priced, mediocre popcorn.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its honestly pretty great. Super easy to find a seat. you can be in and out of the theater in no time. You dont need to worry about conflicting schedules or anything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay are you a middle row seater or a back row seater? My girlfriend and her friends insist that the middle is the place to sit but i think the back is better.
You left when you wanted to? Wtf are you on about m8? Wether im alone, or with 36 thousand people, im gonna leave when the movie is over. You leave when you want to? What kind of shit is that
You could argue that the average reddit user is more introverted than the average human, so of course it would be a little biased that we dont mind watching movies alone....
Source: I went to go watch a movie alone and my gf laughed to high heavens. She said it was the weirdest shit ever.
I recently discovered the same thing. I wanted to see interstellar and my friends all went one time when I had to work. I decided I wanted to see it still so I went by myself. I agree that all the benefits noted above are amazing. I further enjoyed the movie on my own terms.
One thing we forgot to mention. I started going to matinee movies which is awesome. The theater is hardly filled, the tickets are half price and there are no lines. In the past with friends no one would ever go to a matinee film. But matinees are awesome!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also you don't have to sit with your friend who absolutely HAS TO sit ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK of the theater. Why would you want to do that? The screen looks so fucking small!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My local theatre was recently bought out by a larger chain. Most of the changes they made were terrible but their online ticketing system allows me to reserve specific seats in certain auditoriums, which means I always get the seat I want.
I do go to the cinema on my own all the time, mainly because no one I know likes going, usually around once a month I go now.
rekk_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:37:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also you don't have to listen to people in your party talking during the film.
rboymtj ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:46:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm to the point where I only go to the movies alone. The last time I went with other people was a Friday night, we were late because one person was holding it up and we got shitty seats.
Give me Sunday at 11am (or a weekday if I can swing it) by myself and I'm set. I don't even understand why seeing movies is a big social event anyway. You're getting together to sit next to someone in the dark and you're not supposed to talk.
There's nothing worse than going to a movie with a friend or partner, thoroughly enjoying it, having an emotional response to it, having it change your point of view, and then hearing your companion go "Well that was a giant piece of shit." It's the only reason I tend to see movies alone. It's not like I'm saying that my taste in movies is better than anyone else's but when you get lost in a good movie and you can feel your companion shifting around in their seat or hear them grunting or sighing their way through something you consider to be a masterpiece, it just kind of ruins the moviegoing experience for me. That hour or so after seeing a movie alone is very important to me. It's silent reflection time, no matter what type of movie I just sat through. If I have somebody jamming their opinion down my throat about how boring they thought the movie was it takes me out of the zone.
Out of curiosity, what movie(s) did this occur for you in?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me with The Wolverine. I thought it was really good as far as comic book movies go. When it ended, my friend didn't want to wait for the after credits scene because, in his words, "that was like the worst movie ever." I don't think I've seen a movie with him since.
One example I can recall vividly was at the end of the movie Tsotsi. I went with a friend and the climax is a big tear jerker and I was genuinely choked up. My friend looks over at me during the big climax and goes "Well, that was stupid." The movie hit me on a whole different level than it hit her. Another was Tree of Life. I'm trying to watch and my friend is just sitting there shrugging and making all these annoyed sounds. I said if you want to leave, leave, i'm going to finish this. On the other end of the spectrum I went to see Freddy Got Fingered. It was so stupid and I loved it. The friend I brought to that one complained just the same about how it was juvenile. I don't think the quality or subject matter of the movie makes a difference, opinions vary and for me it's just a safer bet to go alone so I can avoid any judgment and form my own opinion of the movie on my own time.
I think it kind of depends on the movie, at least for me. If it's a comedy or action movie, I'd definitely prefer to see it with someone (or at the very least a crowded theater). The audience reaction (or your friend's reaction) makes it that much more enjoyable.
When it comes to thrillers or good dramatic films, I totally get you. I don't need people making random comments when I'm totally into the movie. That is more of a solitary experience.
had a horror movie absolutely ruined for me because these fucking teenage kids would not shut the fuck up...it wasn't just screaming or gasps during scary parts, but they would talk about the scene that just happened, make random dumb comments and laugh for no reason. They were told several times by other attendees and employees to be quiet..but they were never actually thrown out...which was utter bullshit...
Agreed. Just did it for the first time last night (Jurassic World was fucking awesome) and really enjoyed myself. I got to sit exactly where I wanted and just got to focus entirely on the movie. No girl to distract me, no friends making shitty jokes in my ear the entire time, and no family members.
10/10, am going to do it again this weekend for Ant-Man
going to the first showing on a Wednesday is the best. no one there and an entire theater to yourself.
the popcorn is usually not the best, but meh. worth.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially with reserved seating. You don't need to stand in line or sit there for 20+ minutes by yourself killing time on your phone or whatever. Just show up as the pre movie ads are starting and you're golden.
I remember with Dark Knight Rises, I had a day off so went opening Friday. Because of traffic got there just as the IMAX logo was showing. There was one seat left, mine, right in the prime middle, because I'd reserved my seat days earlier.
About 2 weeks after Age of Ultron came out I went to the theater to see it mid-afternoon on a Wednesday. Completely alone. Theater was empty except for me. It's amazing.
You're obviously going to the movies with the wrong people. (That sounds aggressive. I'm sure you can enjoy a movie fine on your own.) I've never really gone to a movie at a time I didn't want to, or saw one I didn't want to, or sat where I didn't want to (except for the time my friends wanted to see Iron man 2 at midnight and no one wanted to go into the threater and we got shitty shit seats because of it). Plus having the conversation you want to have is beautiful! Then you get to talk about the movie afterwards
My friends are lovely and agreeable people. But if I like showing up 30 minutes early (and I do) and I like sitting near the front (and I do), it seems unfair to force it on them. And when I go alone, I get to do it my way.
Ahh that's fair enough. My friends and I prefer sitting closer to the middle, looking for the "optimal viewing distance" where the screen fits just within our primary vision arc. Wanting to fit the screen within your peripheral vision is fine, too, especially if its a good movie like Mad Max.
Saw jurrasic world on realeas by myslefe. Sooooo much easier planning by yourself and finding a seat. Just sat down and watched all the groups struggle to find enough room for themselves to sit next to each other. Ive been there guys, sorry :(
I honestly do everything I can to see movies by myself. I typically see them very early into their release. Nothing against my friends I just prefer the ease of going alone.
AAA1374 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I go to the movies for social things. I don't always go to see a movie. In those cases I go alone.
The best part is having the ability to walk out whenever you want. If I go with a friend or date I never walk out in the middle of a movie unless its super obvious we both hate it. I sit through a lot of movies that we talk about it afterwards and we both thought it was shit.
i was on a business trip and i saw a movie by myself for the first time.
greatest time i've had at the movies ever in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to always go to movies with people until I got a job at a theater. Free movies for me? Awesome. I would try to find people, but they weren't getting in free and didn't always want to spend the money. I said "fuck it" one evening and went to see Chappie all alone (which was fine because it was a mediocre movie), and from then on, I went to see every movie I wanted alone. It's great, sometimes I even clock out from work and just walk straight into a theater. If I see a movie that looks interesting I just go see it. I don't have to worry about the movie being bad since I got in free. Plus, since I work there, the staff turns a blind eye to my bringing in candy. I can also get free Pop and popcorn as well, so that's nice.
written from my iPhone, while working at this theater
Since we had our daughter there's often a movie that my OH isn't bothered about seeing and it's hard to get a babysitter during the week (when the tickets are cheaper!). I often go on my own and I love it - two hours peace and quiet with snacks that no one will steal!
Mmm I love this. I do it any time I ask a few people if they want to watch movie X and I get rejected. Well, I'll just watch it alone then, fuck y'all.
I make a habit of doing this at least once or twice a year, especially to go see movies that none of my friends really care to see. That way I get to see a movie I want, without having to drag someone to the theater that doesn't want to see it! I have seen most Fast and Furious movies alone.
JMAAB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh who is that guy? What is he doing? Is that the girl from that thing? You think it is ok for me to pee? Tell me what happens when I get back.
Same with concerts. You can usually score a great single ticket on craiglist the day of shows.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually to watch a movie at the latest times so I can have the whole place to myself and do whatever the fuck I want when I want, going with friends is fun but sometime can be annoying
I have gone to the movies alone for years by choice. If you go to an art gallery and view art work, do you need a group to take it in? Same idea to me - you go to take in what the artists put together. Don't need others to take it in with you.
I can't stand it. I need to talk about how awesome or bad the movie was, pick apart its flaws, and just generally make fun of it. On your own you can't really do that until one of your friends sees it, and even then its not the same since it's not fresh.
Elysium, The Wolverine, Guardians of the Galaxy, Kick-Ass 2, Whiplash, Foxcatcher, Birdman, The Dark Knight Trilogy (IMAX all nighter) x2, Man of Steel, Don Jon, Under the Skin, The Fifth Estate, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Thor the Dark World, The Imitation Game, The Hobbit. These are a few I have seen by myself the past couple of years and they were all awesome experiences.
The IMAX all nighters for The Nolan trilogy were the best, I thought there would be more people on their own there but both times everybody (from what I could see) were in groups. Still it was cool to be able to chill by myself during the breaks!
amolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go early so you can sit where you want and there aren't many people in the theater so no one is talking during the fucking movie.
This only works if you're in good health. I have a medical condition where I have to get up and pee a couple times a movie. Always afraid my spot will get taken.
This why I (F) shop alone as well. No longer have to give an opinion while a friend tries on everything in the store. No longer have to go into every store. I shop with purpose and hate the "window shopping" and "let's just try stuff on".
I've been going to the movies by myself for about 10 yrs now. It's amazing.
dfnkt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the part where you don't have to be mindful of eating your popcorn like a starving Ethiopian like when someone is with you.
TTHtv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it all the time. If I'm bored, have no plans, and want to see something in theaters I just go. I've never felt weird about it either except for when I saw Frozen by myself.
I've always been willing to eat at a restaurant alone or even go to the bar alone (I'm a woman by the way), but I haven't attempted movie watching alone yet. But you now have me convinced to try. And really, why not see movies alone? During the event it is pretty much a solo activity anyway (i.e. STFU I'm watching this!). Of the three I mentioned it's the one that is most suited for attending alone!
Ugh...I don't know if I like how many times I used the word "alone" here... :-(
the first time, a long time ago, could not believe the questions and outright "what" I got. I saw a couple that we kinda know at the same movie, I think the rumor would of better if I was cheating rather than see a movie by myself- in case your wondering, not a porn flick
Yes! I used to do this all the time when I was younger, go on discount days and catch something none of my friends would go see. Usually something foreign, Korean cinema was having a bit of a boom at the time so a lot Korean films. I really enjoyed seeing Save The Green Planet! which I never would have seen if I'd been going with friends
Did this for the first time at Guardians of the Galaxy, I was in a different city visiting a friend (he was still at work) and it was the last week it would be in theaters so I decided to go for it. Totally worth it, I snuck in some vodka and had a blast.
I do that all the time (although now that I'm partnered I don't do it as often). The only weird part is when it's a kids movie and the parents give you weird looks.
(I'm not here to see your kids mam, I'm here to see the movie)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing a brand new release on Sunday in a Utah movie theater. You'll be one of five or six people in the theater.
I work at a movie theatre and there is honestly nothing nicer than finishing work in the afternoon/evening and just relaxing by watching a movie alone! I really enjoy it. Plus I don't have to share my snacks with anyone.
I just watched Jurassic World by myself the other night and it was great. I like to get there a little early and get my snacks and find a seat but my friends always bitch about having to go early.
I saw Jurassic World on opening day by myself. Got there 15 mins before show, found a seat easily, exactly where I wanted. Even pairs had to sit in ridiculous spots, but groups of 4 or 5 were still arriving during previews. What did they expect?
When I lived in Zรผrich, Switzerland, I enjoyed going to the movies. The first time I went, I was happy to see that the whole front of the theater was empty so as usual I picked my favorite spot smack in the middle. Then I noticed everyone else was sitting all the way in the back in full rows. I looked at my ticket and realized it had a seat number on it. Everyone was looking at me as if I were crazy. I don't know why the theater assigned the tickets starting at the back, but everyone sat according to their assigned seat. I did this many times and other than strange looks, everyone was too polite to bother me except for one person. They came up to me and asked if that was my seat. I said "no". They said "what if the person who is assigned that seat arrives?" I indicated the vast sea of empty seats around me and said "then I'll move." I never got the assigned seats thing. He looked at me as if my reckless anarchy was the work of the devil, but he couldn't think of a counter argument.
When I went to concerts there it was similar. I took my assigned seat, but as an American I was the only one who would stand up and whoop and holler and clap. All the Swiss people stayed politely in their seats and golf-clapped. And this was for shows like Led Zeppelin, Santana, and Elton John. They thought I was a freak, but I didn't care.
Another time, at my workplace, I noticed that when all the monitors in the office had been unboxed, no one had taken off the annoying advertising stickers on the bezels. They were garish and stupid, so I went around and took them all off. Later, my boss asked me if I did it and I told him I had. He asked me why, and I said they were ugly and not designed to stay there. He seemed annoyed, but couldn't really think of any harm I had done. But I could tell he was still mad. So I said "they're supposed to come off. That is their function." He seemed somewhat satisfied with that.
Swiss people are very nice, but their passion for tidiness is very true.
Maybe it's because I'm an only child so I learned to be okay with my own company, but I'm always shocked that people find doing things alone to be so strange. I'm far from being a loner, I have friends and am in a great relationship, but I usually prefer to do things by myself.
I think that's partially it. I'm an only child too, but one of my college roomates had a ton of siblings(as in, at least 5. I've since forgotten the exact number).
It was like night and day - I was great at keeping myself entertained, she wasn't. I had no problem going places by myself, she tended to have company.
murdera ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:32:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'd argue it's kind of the case for high school. God I fucking hated high school. Just the few pricks made you think everyone was keeping score on your popularity.
I love my alone time. I almost prefer to travel and go out alone, and I'm female, which makes it extra weird for some people. Just because I'm sitting at a bar, eating alone doesn't make me a sad cat lady or looking to get laid.
Sporting events can be awesome by yourself. Being someone who likes to get there early and watching players warmup, you don't have to worry about being late. You also can get a ticket for the price and seat that you want and not have to worry about people flaking or not liking your seat choice.
Solo baseball is one of life's lesser appreciated pleasures. I'm a foreigner who loves, loves, loves baseball, and i've almost exclusively dated other foreigners in the last four years, none of whom 'get' it. I'd way rather look 'weird' to someone than not enjoy a game when my partner is like "i'm bo~~~~~red"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:08:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more eating in public alone, is for whatever reason, considered weird. I do it all the time, I got over the 'shame' of it pretty quickly. Nothing makes you forget what others think of you more than enjoying a beautiful steak in peace and quiet.
Pubs and cafes I've not had any weirdness with, but semi-upscale or fine dining, which i barely get to do and love to do alone (i really really like food and havent dated someone who appreciates it like I do) I get some stares, like "why would she spend 100 bucks to sit here alone" well because Im dropping a hundo and I want to make sure I'm enjoying it.
Honestly, I find that it is a lot easier to plan a trip or an outing alone than with friends or family. In the past few months, I've gone down to 7 baseball games and an art museum all on my own in a nearby major city, and I have had a huge blast. When I go out with friends or family to events like this, I have to either follow their rules or follow what they want to do.
Again, it's just so much easier to go out and plan activities for yourself than with family or friends. You get to figure out what you like and/or don't like, and it can be relaxing and fun to do in the process.
Ignore them. Once you stop giving off that guilty "oh shit I'm alone" look they prob won't pay attention. I can see that look from a mile away even when people are in booths.
In my experience it only felt like this at first when I was awkward and aware of it. But honestly most times I go someplace on my own there are others there alone too.
I think that people tend to find it out of the ordinary because of my age. I mean it's not often that you see a 20-something year old out eating alone, especially if they're a woman.
Ate alone at a restaurant the other day and it was the most pleasant meal i've ever had
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sweet baby Jesus I LOVE eating out alone! For pretty much the same reasons /u/senatorskeletor listed. I picked whatever I want to eat, I can splurge since it's just myself, and I can read a book or just enjoy the company of myself without anyone bothering me.
JPOnion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I rarely do stuff with other people. I didn't realize people thought it was an issue until recently, and I still don't understand why. Nobody cares, nobody looks at you like you're a sad loner or whatever. Plus, it's actually fun and in some cases much better than with a group (ie: movies)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One day I just wanted to get out of the house so I went to a movie theatre and watched GI Joe by myself. The movie was fucking awful but the experience of being by myself was nice.
So much this. I wanted ramen and went to my favorite spot. It's always a bit crowded there on the weekends, but the waiter said about 15 minutes or so. It ended up being 30 minutes, but when they said my name, party of one, I could hear the family next to me gasp and the mother even saying, "That's so sad!" Fuck you, you're the only one making me feel bad you asshole.
Another place, I was eating alone and ordered a beer with my food. It was about 2pm. And the waitress gave me a surprised funny look. I miss big cities where no one gives a fuck. :(
This. I travel for work and I'm almost always alone. I go out to eat alone multiple times a week, I've been to baseball games and movies and concerts alone. I do touristy things alone all the time. Im getting paid to see the world!
Then I come home and my friends will sit in the car and wait for me to get to the mall because its "weird" to walk around the mall alone. It's hard some weeks to switch gears and start doing things with people again.
Agreed. I recently moved across the country alone and have had to start taking myself out so as to not become a complete hermit. I love it now. I often prefer going out alone; I frequently meet new people and generally prefer my own musings to forced chit chat with acquaintances. Bars, restaurants, movies; it's all fair game- except super fancy restaurants, then I look like I've been stood up and people just look at you all sympathetically- it gets annoying.
I found myself stuck at a different movie theater because their system went down after I had purchased a ticket and no one else could get in. I didn't want to waste my ticket and went anyway. Caught up with people and discussed afterwards. Was the same experience but had better seats being on my own.
Was still harassed about seeing a movie by my self though..
I wouldn't eat out or see a movie alone, but I don't mind being alone in my house or kicking a soccer ball around. I never understand why people need to be with others constantly.
I don't get the stigma against seeing a movie by yourself. It's not much of a social event even if you go with people, you're just sitting there saying nothing for a couple hours.
I would suggest going to the theatre (theater) alone. Pretty much every time I've gone alone, I've bought a cheap seat at the back of the upper circle, only to then get there and find I've been upgraded for free to a single random seat in the stalls, just because they want to fill empty seats. This especially works for a show that's not a fri/sat evening
I went on a 6 hour hike alone this weekend because I enjoy being outdoors and we have a really nice state park near us. Upon my return, my friends were concerned if I was okay, which of course I was. Apparently enjoying nature and alone time is cause for concern.
I go to a local bar once a week and eat and have a few beers by myself. I deal with enough people all fucking week that I just want some alone time and watch whatever they have on the TVs.
I am 18 years old and I have been golfing for about three years now. About two weeks ago, I decided to try out a new club by going out and playing golf alone, for the first time. I usually am not alone, often with friends or family doing things around town. So though it was never weird for me to do things alone, i don't do it very often. But that day was the greatest for me in terms of golfing. I had so much fun by myself, and I was smiling almost the entire time. I felt no pressure, and I could just play like I enjoy playing. I shot the best I ever had, an 81, because of the absence of other bullshit. I have noticed the same things in social situations. People feel pressured to act cool or say the right thing with others. But when you are alone, its no stress. Love getting some alone time in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a problem with this until I realized that I wasn't even seeing half the movies I wanted to see (friends were cheapskate bums and no one else would've been interested). When I just said "screw it" and saw whatever I wanted, alone or not, it was awesome.
I'll never understand why people think it's weird to see a movie alone. If I don't have anyone to go with and it's a scifi movie that I'm not going to drag my fiancee to see with me, what's the big deal? I can leave on time, get there on time and have no one talking to me distracting me from the movie.
People eating alone don't bother me at all. The couple on a date that both sit on the same side of the booth, leaving the other side empty, bother me. weirdos.
I started eating lunch alone when I started a job 45 minutes from home with an hour unpaid lunch. It felt weird at first but its not as uncommon as you think.
I never understood the eating in public one. If I'm hungry, I'm gonna go get something to eat!
tdt0005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are people that think it's really weird that I will eat and go to movies alone, and I don't really understand why. I don't have a gf and if I want to see a movie, I'm going to see a movie. But most of my friends are married and don't want to do anything half the time. Plus I don't live near most of them. And since I'm single and don't like to waste time cooking, I go out to eat a lot. I'm not going to not eat at a favorite restaurant because some strangers might think I don't have any friends.
emt_liz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a navy gf I got over the whole alone thing the first underway. Then when he gets home I can bring him to all the near little places I found.
I used to eat my lunch alone all the time in high school. Some random girl came up to me one day and was like "you are so brave to be on your own like this, idk how I could do it". Seriously?
When my car wasn't working right and I would have to wait for a ride after I got off of work, I loved walking to the restaurant down the street and having a beer and redditing/reading/relaxing by myself for a while. My coworkers were all shocked by it and thought it was weird, but that was my "me time" and it was glorious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a rap concert by myself a couple of weeks ago. it was great.
Oh my god this! I may only be in High school, but sometimes when either all my friends have class or I just want to take myself out to a nice lunch, I encounter these groups of people that basically just try to take pity on me and like incorporate me in their lunch plans, even if they obviously don't want to. "Why are you going to eat alone?" "Because my friends all have class." "Oh." fake sad face.
Fuck off holy shit...
I went on a cruise with my family recently. Because the cost was a tad too much ($1800) to bring my SO, I basically did everything that I couldn't drag a sibling with me to alone. Back when I was 16/17/18 I didn't think anything of it. Now that I'm 24, it seems like I get awkward glances from people when I do stuff alone. I get maybe it's like families just being aware of strangers or whatever, but by God if I want to drink some beers on my lonesome while watching inception at 8 pm, it's my damn vacation.
I try and go to cinemas alone nearly everytime. Arrive early, pick my preferred seat etc. Eating alone in a restaurant is also fun if you have a decent book/podcast.
I go to shows alone all the time. I barely know anyone who's into the same music I am, much less into paying to see that stuff live. It used to turn me off to going to shows, but now I really enjoy it. It's better than having a friend want to ditch after the first hour of a 3 hour show.
Being in outside sales, I am often out by myself between customer visits getting lunch. For some reason eating alone while working doesn't phase me, but if I tried to do it on a weekend or something, I feel weird.
milkyxj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Married guy here. I LOVE going out to eat without my family. It's peaceful & cheap compared to all of us
I never saw this as strange. People who travel for work often have to eat alone. I did it for years but it does get old. I can't really enjoy going to a restaurant by myself anymore.
I see a movie every Monday after work by myself. 3 times out of 4 I'll get a theater all to myself, kick my feet up, snack on popcorn, no annoying mother fuckers. Glorious
Single for years; going to a Saturday afternoon movie - and eating double-buttered popcorn like I'm about to be executed - has become such a treasured ritual that I fret about losing it when I find a partner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have such a hard time doing this. Not because I worry what people are thinking, or that I will stand out. It is because I hate doing things alone. Ive seen one movie, and eaten 3 meals out on the town all by myself.
Oh god. I am doing this right now. Everyone is probably staring at me while I type this. Also saw a reply about drinking before 11A, and I am having an Irish coffee. What else... kinda high, probably.
I'm eating lunch at a steakhouse right now (not an everyday thing, treating myself) and everyone is glaring like I got stood up. The waiter wasn't judgy but he was like "oh we get a young lady in here who comes in once a year bc her late fiancรฉ proposed to her at lunch here"
... can I not eat in peace without a sob story?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife travels, I do this shit too.
ofoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The real reason why single player games were invented.
Info request here... I entirely fail to see why this is considered socially unacceptable. What is the stigma against doing stuff alone in the USA please?
I work swing, and when I get done working my string of nights I go and have breakfast somewhere. I just sit and read the paper and enjoy myself. Sometimes the waitress always makes a point to sit and talk to me almost the whole time. I don't have the guts to tell her to go away. I really just enjoy being alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never understood the movie stigma. Ideally you aren't talking or interacting with the people next to you so I don't see how going with people is any better.
Also, I eat when I go to a restaurant. It could be in a dark alley, as long as I have good food I'll be in and out in fifteen or so minutes.
I was never aware that doing things like that by yourself were "socially unacceptable". I've been doing that since my Freshman year of high school, now 20. Whenever I tried going with friends no one would make their damn mind up on what to do. Going to theatres and to resteraunts alone are one of my favorite things to do!
I don't think this is socially unacceptable and more so just unusual. I would notice someone eating alone and wonder why they were alone, but I wouldn't think it was rude or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like eating in booth's alone. Several restaurants close to me exclusively have booths or 4 person tables and I feel like I'm taking a table that a group could actually use.
But if theres a 2 person table then I'm all for it.
ron_e123 ยท 6090 points ยท Posted at 14:15:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Putting elbows on the table while eating. Does anyone really give a fuck?
I never understood why that was so rude. I did that once in a fancy restaurant and almost got kicked out.
DB2V2 ยท 4727 points ยท Posted at 14:52:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It originally started from when sailors where eating on ships and they would put their elbows on the table to keep their dish from sliding during rougher seas. As this became a habit for them they would also do it while not out to sea and at pubs and such. Well sailors didn't have the best reputation for being clean, and well-mannered so non-sailors didn't want to be associated with them and thus would not put their elbow on tables. Hence where this rule came from!
Edit - After posting in /r/askhistorians earlier today asking about this, it appears this can be traced back way further than I thought possible https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/3d4u5k/what_are_the_origins_of_not_placing_ones_elbows/, other answers have included farmers being dirty from the fields, not wanting to unbalance the table that was being used to eat on since people were on one side, royalty not wanting to have people hiding concealed daggers and such underneath the table, not taking up that room on the table, and many more as can be read below. All in all this has been a very interesting read from my perspective! Thanks for any of the contributions that could help shed light on this socially unacceptable item.
[deleted] ยท 4337 points ยท Posted at 15:00:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did you make this up?
DB2V2 ยท 3879 points ยท Posted at 15:02:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, learned it back when I was in the Navy.
[deleted] ยท 4617 points ยท Posted at 15:06:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DB2V2 ยท 884 points ยท Posted at 15:10:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You know i've never really thought about it. I'll try and report back, i'm off to /r/AskHistorians.
The top post TL;DR: It goes back further than maritime dining. This was a defensive pose too keep people from stealing your food. Since it was common practice with lower classes and the poor, the upper classes sought to separate themselves from the hostile practice.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 17:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could think about it for three seconds and realize that something as simple and common as putting your elbows on the table didn't have to be "invented". Sailors didn't invent it any more than miners invented nose-picking to clear out coal dust. It's comfortable, people have rested on shit since the goddamn dawn of man.
You joke but really, most information passed around in an organization from older members to younger members was probably gleaned the same way by the older members.
DB2V2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was an individual Chief who told me when I had my elbows on the table because he didn't want his sailors to be setting a bad example for non-naval personnel.
horneke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hasn't it changed since then? doesn't the navy have stabilizing tables now on gimbals like on some boats? so you have to keep your elbows off the table or else you'd tilt it?
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't tell you as I was never stationed on a ship.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:33:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I remember learning marine corps history in boot camp and learning about a certain battle in the revolutionary war where people were communicating from ship to land via radio.
No I'm not making that up. And the teacher was a marine corps drill instructor. Moral of the story: don't believe anything you hear in the military.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:51:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do restaurants just assume everyone has dirty sailor elbows? thats kind of rude.
Baham99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was literally expecting the ending to be, "one day, a non-sailor whose elbows were on the table was accused of being a sailor and summarily executed with a seaman's sword. Ever since that day, all non-sailors began advocating for the discontinued use of their elbows on the table while typing 'OP did not use the /serious tag'."
I heard that it was rude because it showed there was empty space on the table. Implying that the host had not provided enough food to cover the eating area. Apparently this was considered rude at a time when good was more scarce
/r/seeminglytruefacts needs more of this type of stuff. Unfortunately, all I can come up with is shitty word origins, but that's not what I intended. I want more stuff like that! Please, someone!
I was expecting to hear that they did once, but their father beat him with jumper cables.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:33:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's full of shit because I put my elbows on the table... not to keep the dish there, but because it's comfortable.
Why must there be a super interesting tradition tied to everything? It's just comfortable to put your elbows on the table. It probably originated by the fact that people need to have their elbows on the table to hold their face up, which in turn makes them look bored. To avoid having people look bored, they made this dumb rule.
[deleted] ยท 1203 points ยท Posted at 16:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Actually the rule dates from the middle ages, and is an advisory in manuals of etiquette (along with not wiping ones nose on the table cloth).
Theories are abound as to what significance is (or was) actually attributed to having ones elbows on the table. The most popular theories are:
Insulting the wealth and status of a host. It may have been construed that putting ones elbows on the table was to indirectly suggest that the host could not afford to flood the table with food, thus insulting their wealth, and by extension, their status
Stance. When you put your elbows on a table you automatically hunch over, or at least move in closer to the table. This could be taken in two different ways. First you may come across as angered, displeased, or violent, as hunching is a natural characteristic of being in the aforementioned moods, as is drawing closer to someone so as to invade their personal space. Second the suggestion is made that you yourself may be boorish, poorly educated and therefore not worth of your status as our ancient ancestors are (and were) often depicted hunched over food eating like animals.
Additional fun fact:
Manuals of etiquette that featured rules such as "do not steal the cutlery" and "do not wipe your nose on the table cloth" were actually aimed at the upper classes of the medieval age, by modern standards most medieval people of similar status would have atrocious table manners.
Edit: For those of you who have heard different reasoning behind the no elbows on the table rule, please do share! While the timings of my post are factually accurate, the reasonings are merely common speculation by historians. It's likely we'll never know the true answer, but reading the other reasons is fascinating!
smm111 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:03:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read a 1700s etiquette manual once, and it specifically said not to burp or "break wind" at the table-- and if you had to, at least turn to the side and do it discreetly. Also not to eat off other people's plates. I guess if people did that, they did need a manual.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:51:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget that's the 1700's. In the 12-1400's when these things were becoming popular they must have had some strange rules in, things that we take for granted now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which are like old wives tales, only less cursing.
mnh1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:19:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, it makes it difficult to serve plates or deliver food to the table if you're leaning over it.
psymunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes a lot of sense. Where you position an empty glass or how you leave cutlery on a plate are all non-verbal indicators to servants signalling when you are finished with a plate or need more to drink.
I'd imagine it's also a status thing. Like you know somebody's high class because they know and abide rules of etiquette they were taught when young. If it was in an etiquette book that you had to walk backwards with your hands in the air when entering all buildings, you'd bet high class people would do it without question because it signals to others that they are more educated and wealthy than they are.
Though this is entirely a guess on my part and based on what I know of the way high born people in Game of Thrones try to pay strict attention to how they carry themselves because they have to separate themselves from the low born peasants.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:24:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it's most definitely a status thing. Etiquette was (and is) a massive indicator of social status. Back in medieval England, if you could afford the tutoring and the books you were definitely someone worth knowing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading Chuck Palahniuk's book, Survivor, it has all these really detailed rules of etiquette that the main character knows. Assuming that these were all actual rules, it was conveyed as a way to make those of low status look foolish. The rules were almost always outside of common sense, and needlessly intricate so that you would only get it right if you had been taught. It was a really good read.
Jesus Christ when I sit at a table I just want to eat, I don't care who it pisses off.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In medieval Europe (where many of these etiquette rules were developed) pissing off the wrong people could have disastrous consequences. If you were a low level lord trying to impress a social superior knowing your etiquette could not only be a make or break, but could be the difference between life and death.
Well, unless you want to hang out with or otherwise impress people that might be offended. But if you don't think you'd be inclined to like them anyway, it's not a problem.
As a person who has a hard time not putting elbows on tables i can say that your statement about hunching is incorrect. People put elbows on the table because trying to sit straight without support either by leaning on the back of a chair or putting elbows on the table kills the lower back and makes one hunch
The one I feel is most likely: it's a display of confidence.
Being hunched over your food due to either bad posture or because you fear someone taking your food vs. sitting up and proper, leaving your food vulnerable to being taken... But you know no one would dare take it.
I'm 6'4". I put my elbows on the table to avoid hunching.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is closer to what I assumed, a leftover of the table etiquette age. To be proper, you shouldn't have your elbows on the table because it doesn't make your posture look good. Usually, the table height in relation to the chair dictates whether or not I will have elbows on the table, also, what I'm eating. Burger or pizza, ELBOWS!
I would add that the hunched-over, elbows-on-the-table position is great for guarding your food; you sort of "box out" people who might be trying to steal something off your plate. (You see this stance in prison, for example.) I'm speculating, but perhaps more cultured tables didn't want to echo such vulgar behavior: "We're not the sort to tussle over the last dinner roll here at Castle Floppingdong, young squire; open your stance."
I think that would be an interesting decoration to have in a kitchen. An old-looking rule list from the middle ages that contains a rule "do not steal the cutlery."
I was told that it's not necessarily about your elbows, it's mostly that you shouldn't "shovel food into your mouth and the only way to shovel is to have your elbows on the table.
The Time Traveller's Guide to Medieval England? If you haven't read it, it tells you all sorts about this type of stuff. Things you don't get in a history book. Also has an interesting clothing chart which shows what you could and couldn't wear based on reputation and social status. Pick it up :) Or if you're in England, send me your address and I'll mail it over to you :) Sounds like you'd enjoy it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Already read it ;) I'm quite the history nerd when it comes to the Medieval age
Not wiping one's nose on the table cloth? These people clearly did not have jalapenos in their lives.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was told it was because there were always so many people at those tables with numerous utensils so it was basically impossible for anyone to physically put their elbows on the table without hitting stuff.
Charlotte Biltekoff, a UC Davis assistant professor, explains so many things we do today are based on very old traditions.
"It certainly arises from a long history beginning in the late middle ages when we started to internalize lots and lots of codes about how to hold our bodies," said Charlotte.
Yes, she said we're following rules from the middle ages!
"Shame and embarrassment sort of emerged in that time and a much more impulsive culture became much more self-contained and self-controlled and self-conscious and a lot of the manners in our culture emerged from this time period," said Charlotte.
They were also battling disease and it was important to show you were healthy.
"So, by not leaning on our elbows one of the most important things that we communicate is that we're strong enough to hold our bodies erect and that we're healthy enough to have proper carriage and that we understand the rules of comportment and have enough self-control and self-possession to maintain that kind of posture at the table," said Charlotte.
And Charlotte says that even though we're a long way from the middle ages, the rules still play a social role today.
"If you put your elbows on the table you can lean from one side to the other and take up more space than is acceptable," said Charlotte.
Charlotte says manners help us communicate what we feel about ourselves and how we fit in the broader social order. "It's still very important in our culture to communicate self-control, willpower and restraint," said Charlotte. We are how we eat not just what we eat!
And even though things have relaxed, Emily Post says the only time you can put your elbows on the table is when you're at home and sick.
"This might be a fine point, but doing this seems a whole lot different from resting one elbow on the table for example...are there shades of gray?" said Charlotte. "Well,some etiquette writers suggest that if you have so mastered the form of self-possession -- if you have so convinced people around you that you are so convinced and self-controlled you might delicately rest your elbow on the table."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:59:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does shit like that stay the same for all those years
He probably made it up, or heard it from someone who made it up.
There's a chance it's true, of course, but most of those "this originiated from a Chinese brothel in the Han Dynasty!" stories are usually full of shit.
djn808 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because sailing was integral to society for like 1000 years, probably
I heard it was because farmhands would wash there hands but not all the way up to the elbow. The elbows would still be really dirty, so rather than muck up the dinner table with dirt it became a thing to not put elbows on the table.
Ya, this is the one I heard as well. Doesn't really matter too much though since they both end up being "people with dirty elbows kept putting that shit on the table near food and, since then, elbows are assumed to be dirty and not to be put by food" or some variant.
TIL, I always thought it was more of a primal/territorial thing, like you are trying to protect your food by keeping your elbows on the table from the others around you, thus looking like an animal by doing so and not proper
It's amazing how old practices become so ingrained into society. If you ask anyone why putting elbows on the table is rude they will just say "because it is." Like some sort of stupid mantra people chant to justify their unjustifiable behavior.
Pfft, as a former Navy sailor, I'm gonna start putting my elbows on the table out of spite.
Don't tell a sailor what to do!
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noted in the duty log book! 2339 /u/pyroSeven decides to put elbows on the table out of spite because you "don't tell a sailor what to do!" Enjoy your freedom and put your elbows wherever you please!
I thought it was because during the middle ages, only the very rich could afford to have tables large enough to put elbows on.
Jesst3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard almost exactly this, except one difference. During the time period when Shanghaiing was commonplace, putting your elbows on the table was a sign that a guy was a sailor and therefore a better candidate for kidnapping.
Also, when you're advertising your nautical skill in public via elbows on the table, you increase your likelihood of getting Shanghaied- bludgeoned unconscious to awake finding yourself on a boat to China to serve as free labor.
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whew, I was a dirt/sand sailor so my nautical skills are sorely lacking hopefully they'll leave me alone!
Sorry if it wasn't clear that this isn't a modern phenomenon, but something we might have worried about 150+ years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it was because ye olde tables didn't have the top connected to the legs and so in putting elbows on the table it would be upturned. Hence, rude. Don't know how much truth there is to that though?
I've heard that its related to sailors but had a darker meaning: In the past it was common for young boys to be impressed into service (read kidnapped and forced into indentured servitude). The press gangs would target their victims based on signs of seaworthiness: usage of coarse/foul language, elbows on the table etc. So mothers would admonish their children for poor table manners with the threat that a press gang would mistaken them for a sailor and carry them away to sea!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was from farmers that worked hard in the fields. They would come home with their elbows covered in dirt. They showed their manners by not putting their elbows on their tables, so that they wouldn't cover it in dirt.
That's not what I heardโฆ Maybe that's part of it, but when people used to eat dinner or a meal together, it would be a big board laying across everyone's lap instead of on table legs, hence the term "room and board". It was rude to have your elbows on the table because other people couldn't lift the board to get up from the table.
Source: "At Home" by Bill Bryson. (Great book btw)
I heard in the 1800s ships captains in California (and prolly other places) who were doing trade routes to Shanghai would resort to kidnapping sailors because the working conditions were so poor and the trip so long. One of the ways these captains would look for sailors would be to find people who put their elbows on the table like you described.
Since no one wanted to wake up on a ship half way to China, they tried to avoid putting their elbows on the table in ports. Eventually it became a scary story you told kids to keep them from doing it, and it got absorbed into etiquette.
Additionally, when the press gangs came into pubs looking for men, often times they would look for the sailors (with their elbows on the table) because men with sailing experience were more useful. So, by keeping one's elbows off the table, one was less likely to be pressed into service.
Thanks I didn't know that. I was just taught as a kid to keep my elbows off the table, so I wouldn't take up too much table space. Big family dinners, 1 table...
cmd242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
However, this is not entirely correct. The Committee to Attribute a Naval Origin to Everything (CANOE), tends to do the same with the infamous "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" (Has nothing to do with ships).
The actual explanation in this case is much less prosaic.
The term arose in 18th-century England, when textiles were extremely expensive. Keeping one's elbows on the table invited stains from grease and other foodstuffs onto one's clothes, which made them hard to clean or may have ruined them outright.
Thus, keeping one's elbows on the table was considered a faux-pas in polite society.
Generally speaking, naval forces at the time would not have spent extra weight and money carrying plates and cutlery as, in the case of sudden attack, they would contribute to mess and possibly become hazardous on deck.
This is false. Think about it practically, why would you hold your plate with 2 elbows rather than just grip the side of your plate with your free hand?
i always heard that this was because farmers had sometimes dirty elbows from working, and they would wash only their hands.. but the sailor variant sounds plausible..
84m81n0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This rule probably started way back in medieval times, during the famous feasts. Imagine a big old medieval feast given by a ruler or lord. Everybody and their mother wants to go to it, and boast about how they dined with such and such. Most of these feasts would have been served on long tables with benches instead of seats. People would pack in like sardines and there simply was no room to have your elbows on the table without jostling your neighbor and disrupting his ability to eat. Allowing your elbows to nudge the guy next to you and hit his arm while he's bringing some food to his mouth would be obviously rude. As well, such accidents could cause quarrels, or even violence to break out.
Even today, if you go out to dinner with more than a couple of people, having your elbows on the table could cause a fork mishap, knock over glasses, pull the tablecloth (which would also knock over things), and get in the way of the server placing dishes on the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it started just after the invention of the table as a way to hold your body in a sensible and comfortable position while eating
I can take this history lesson a bit further. In San Francisco ship crews were abandoning in favour of the Gold Rush so there was a huge shortage of skilled labour on a ship.
In order to staff their ships with skilled workers, captains would often go to pubs and look for men who ate with elbows on the table (indicating they had ship experience). They would get them drunk and kidnap them (referred to as crimping). By the time they woke up, they'd be half way to Shanghai (hence the term being Shanghaied).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard a different story.
Tables were often made with a large single centre leg. Putting elbows on the table would cause the table to lean one way or the other, causing food to fly off.
Yours sounds more plausible as single legged tables aren't overly common (though my dinner set at home is single legged).
Bull shit. It's because it wears out the elbows of nice long sleeve shirts. If you own nice shirts, you keep your elbows off the table. Elbows on the table mean you broke
The story I heard is that miners had sutt and crud on them constantly and was had to wash it off. So they wouldn't put there elbows on the table so it wouldn't messy the table. I'm from Pittsburgh it use to be one of the most mined cities in the U.S.
I can see this explaining where the no elbows on the table rule stems from, but this doesn't necessarily explain the origin of eating with your elbows on the table. I frequently eat with my elbows on the table and have never had a meal on a boat.
Huh. I always thought that it was because putting your elbows on the table forces you into an "uncouth" posture, where you're bent over your plate shoveling food into your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a sailor and I always put my elbows on the table, so I don't believe this.
That's interesting, thanks for sharing! I was always told that it was rude because it looked like you were guarding your food. I like your explanation more.
Empanah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It originally started hundred years ago. Poor people would only wash their bodies from hands to elbows so putting the dirty elbows on the table was considered bad
I thought it was because farmers would come in dirty as fuck and so they would keep there nasty ass arms off the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude ships still experience rough seas and plates still slide all over the place. I have yet to see any one use their elbows for control of these things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well motherfucker you got my upvote! Not even gonna fact check you on that one.
It's also said that the British Navy would "recruit" sailors during the Revolutionary War by going in to bars and finding men with their elbows on the tables.
mslack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, no. There's this story, then there's the idea that sailors would keep their elbows off the table due to having less room on a table. Either way, it sounds silly and urban legend-y.
The other theory I've heard, and the one that makes the most sense to me, is that its simply a matter of space. When you're eating at a crowded table it just makes it worse when your neighbor has their elbows in your food. Of course if there's plenty of room at the table nobody cares, but when table real estate is scarce, its annoying to have people shoving elbows at you.
I heard that mothers would tell their children this because elbows on the table would indicate that you had been to sea and thus would become a target for sailors looking to Shanghai new recruits.
It's also a remnant of when tables were much smaller for the average family, and wanting to imitate royalty- If you were putting your elbows on the table, it meant you were intruding on the space of other people to do so. There just wasn't a lot of room. That, paired with wanting to imitate royalty (Who do it for sailor-association reasons), means it became rude for the bourgeois, which means it eventually trickled down all through society.
It originally started from when sailors where eating on ships and they would put their elbows on the table to keep their dish from sliding during rougher seas. As this became a habit for them they would also do it while not out to sea and at pubs and such. Well sailors didn't have the best reputation for being clean, and well-mannered so non-sailors didn't want to be associated with them and thus would not put their elbow on tables. Hence where this rule came from!
This is very unlikely. It reads like typical folk etymology (well, not etymology in this case, but the same sort of thing: people inventing reasons for how something came to be).
Haha, my husband is a commercial fisherman. We were on a dinner date and his food came. He wrapped his elbow and forearm around the plate and all I could see was the top of his head as he shoveled food into his face at alarming speeds. I actually had to ask him to look at me.
He took a deep breath, sat up straighter, and apologized.
Sailors have a lot of time to make things like this up. They think every word and tradition has a nautical origin.
I'm guessing it came from the Victorian obsession with manners. As the middle class grew and became wealthy, it became important for the upper class to be able to tell who was "really" classy and who just had money. Meanwhile, everybody wanted to pretend to be higher class than they were.
This made etiquette books big money, and they started just pumping out rules: like Cosmo sex tips, they didn't have to actually work, just needed to sound good. I've read that "you should always scoop your soup away from you, shovelling it towards yourself is greedy." Bullshit, no way anyone of any class eats away from themselves: it's messy, and it looks like you find the food disgusting.
Elbows on the table is probably another one of those: only important to those who want to imitate class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually not true. It originated from kings wanting people at the dinner table to keep their arms and hands where they could be seen so not weapons could be hidden. The king didn't want to be stabbed underneath the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it might have something to do with people having dirty elbows and not wanting that on the table.
Elbows on the table just look rude and untame to those around you if you are using utensils. If you are eating a sandwhich or burger however then elbows help. I guess I only see it this way because I would get my elbows slapped as a kid if they were on the table and I grew up seeing elbows on the table as rude.
See when I was in school they taught us that this rule came from the Middle Ages. Basically assassins had daggers up their sleeves and would hide them by keeping their elbows on the table while they ate. So a lot of kingdoms forbid this etiquette of eating.
Jimbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not just this, but if you were seen dining like this, you might be pressed into naval service by the government or others looking for experienced sailors.
About the "royalty not wanting concealed daggers" part... In my family it was always rude to keep your hands under the table, and we had to always keep our wrists up. I'm pretty sure I'm descended from Mafia or something though
I have heard two explanations of why this is considered poor table manners. First is that pirates at sea would eat with their elbows on the table on order to keep their food in place while the ship rocked. This would carry over whenever they were eating on land. The general debauchery that takes place amongst pirates led to common people disliking anything pirates do. So if you have the table manners of a pirate, then you are unworthy of eating amongst gentlemen. The other explanation I have heard was that many people grew up poor and never had a large table to eat at. Keeping elbows off the table allows more room for everyone so it is considered being polite to your fellow eaters. I haven't looked into either of these claims so they may be b.s, but I like to believe the pirate one is true.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:43:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why specify pirates? This would've been the same for any naval worker - merchants sailors and naval soldiers too.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:59:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was because people's elbows was often dirty so you wanna keep them off your table cloth. And today people's elbows tend to be clean so it's not a problem anymore do it as much as you like.
I have heard two explanations of why this is considered poor table manners. First is that astronauts in space would eat with their elbows on the table on order to keep their food in place when there was no gravity. This would carry over whenever they were eating on Earth. The general debauchery that takes place amongst astronauts led to common people disliking anything astronauts do. So if you have the table manners of a astronaut, then you are unworthy of eating amongst gentlemen. The other explanation I have heard was that many people grew up poor and never had a large table to eat at. Keeping elbows off the table allows more room for everyone so it is considered being polite to your fellow eaters. I haven't looked into either of these claims so they may be b.s, but I like to believe the astronaut one is true.
The only thing about that is that one would think that all sailors would develop this habit, not just pirates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it was because men who toiled in the field or coal mines would come in for lunch and only wash their hands and lower arm, not their elbows. Then their elbows would mark the table cloth. So elbows off the table!
Arrrrrrr! Ye got it all wrong, ye had best be keepin them falseities to ye'self lest ye be keel-hauled! It's because we called them "elsterns" an' 'er majesty's navy called 'em elbows like a bunch o' land lubbers!
He defiantly kept his elbows on the table. "No" he said, quietly, but firmly. Slowly, one by one, the other patrons stood and began clapping. The waiter began to apologize profusely, and OP received a free meal. This is $101 percent true and they now hang OP's picture on the wall, as well as re-named the restaurant after him.
No. This never happened. I 100% guarantee this isn't enough to get kicked of any restaurant anywhere. If it happened while not wearing a shirt maybe that would be enough.
I was staying at a rather nice hotel in Bermuda on vacation with the folks. At the time I was maybe 10, perhaps not even, fairly young. My parents were dressed nice and I think I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt or something at worst and my father had to argue with the hotel restaurant host to let us in as he refused us because I was not dressed well enough. This was also kind of early and they were not even busy fwiw.
True. Maybe there are behavior/etiquette codes though? You can't exactly judge someone prior to eating on that. It would be like me taking a blazer off to reveal a tshirt mid dinner.
I've been in restaurants that required jackets. Once you're in they're not gonna kick you out. For arguments sake if it's the kind of restaurant to kick someone out for putting elbows on the table they're much better off dealing with it and collecting the $100+ per head and letting them do it. Which is what they do.
That's normal procedure if you don't follow the proper etiquette in really upscale restaurants (talking 200โฌ+ for a meal), you can get kicked / banned really quickly.
An acquaintance of my father got banned for eating something off the plate of his wife he wanted to try.
You are using euros, so I assume you are speaking about Europe. In the United States. this is absolutely not true. No upscale restaurant would ever threaten to remove you because you had your elbows on the table/etc.
edit: actually, I just don't believe this. Maybe an oddball chef might throw a fit, but at actual elite restaurants would not do this.
It just makes no sense. There's absolutely no reason to ever do this. If they want to enforce formal table manners to placate their more pretentious clientele, they can easily do that with a "sir, please keep your elbows off of the table."
I think it would have to be pretty egregious for a server to say something. It would have to bother more people than they risk offending by making the request. Tips at elite restaurants can be $100+, any server good enough to get in the gig knows enough to keep his mouth shut about my elbows if I'm dropping $500 on a meal.
The host may not let you in without a dinner jacket or something like that, but once you sit down you will almost certainly be well attended.
Yes, true. It makes no sense to even do what I said. But it makes a hell of a lot less sense to threaten to ban someone who may otherwise tip you over a hundred.
Can't stop you from not believing my story though. Just to add, nobody threw a fit or something, they were just asked calmly by the server to leave after their meal and to not come back to the restaurant again.
I believe your story, but I think it more likely to be the antics of an eccentric and tightly wound chef/host rather than an official policy at say, a Michelin star restaurant.
two ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would imagine it's one of those places where the only things that are upscale are the prices. There's just no way this happens at a Michelin starred restaurant.
I could also see them not liking the guy for w/e reason (not saying it was his fault) and so they found a reason to kick him out/insult him. That seems like an upscale snobby type of passive aggressive tactic you know?
I read that it was a practice that started in the Victorian/Industrial eras, where the vast majority of working class men held down 'dirty' jobs, and every street and building used to be covered in soot and shit. Men would come home from the mine or wherever caked in grime, and so the wives would tell them to keep their elbows off the table to keep the food and cutlery clean.
I heard someplace it's because centuries before us good hygiene wasn't as common as today so they'd keep their arms down by their sides as much as possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always thought it was rude for when you're sharing the table with someone or eating right next to someone because it takes up a lot of space.
I've kind of explained it a bit in an reply to one of the people asking where it was.
It was at a hibachi style restaurant and they figured that their place was really fancy. The moment I put my elbows on the table because I was tired, the chef got really mad and started speaking Japanese to his manager. We honestly just assumed that it was along the lines of "Can we kick this guy out?" because he was pointing at me during the conversation a lot.
Let's just say I'm happy he didn't poison me or anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What restaurant would kick someone out, or even complain, about elbows on tables?
It's because it excludes people from the conversation, you put your right elbow on the table and the person to your right is blocked out by your arm and shoulder. They then have to lean far forward blocking out the person the right of them
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that elbow on table is acceptable before and after the meal. And leaning forward to show interest in the conversation can even be considered polite.
But during the meal, when utensils are in use it is rude to take up more table space with you elbows and can give off the impression of protecting or hunching over your food. Too much interest in the food instead of the company you are with can be seen as rude and unrefined.
In the old days it was considered "bad" if one had enough room on a dinner table for their elbows instead of there being food.
Old wives tale, as far as i know it hasn't been set in stone by anyone so take it with a grain of salt. I'm part french so it probably stems from there and applied to the so coveted "upper class".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was literally just an askreddit post about this. Basically having your elbows on the table is associated with you defending your food to stop it from being stolen which is viewed as you not trusting the people your with, which is seen as rude if it's a polite setting
The elbows weren't the issue, it was the lack of pants and underwear that they were concerned about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wat? Every fancy restaurant I've been to doesn't give a damn what you do. Is this some pretentious sorta place? I went to a 5 star french restaurant and another party had a guy in a Hawaiian shirt...
How old were you. I can't imagine someone saying that to an adult.
What exactly did they say to you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been told that it was an insult because it's showing that there's enough room on the table to put your elbows, so there's not enough food/hospitality.
Personally I think it's a load of shit. I'll put my elbows wherever the fuck I want.
Because it's the most comfortable way to sit at the table when having a meal, so they have to remove it to make the meal as uncomfortable as possible. Don't you see??
When I was at Colonial Williamsburg or (or maybe it was Jamestown) as a kid one of the tour guides told us that many "tables" in the 17th century or so were basically planks of wood balanced precariously on sawhorses. Putting your weight on one end of the table with your elbows would knock it over and fuck up the meal.
People that do that hold their food up in the air. You're not supposed to keep it held at your face hight. You don't realise it, but if you look at someone doing that in a resturant, they look sloppy as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would've never known it even was a social issue if it wasn't for a pizza hut commercial. I've never been told to take my elbows off the table and evidently have never been at a fancy enough restaurant for it to matter.
br3or ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard it's because most higher class people would be served their meals and it would be rude to have your arms in the way of someone trying to serve you your plate.
Faisso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard or knowing about this elbow job thing. That's how fancy I am.
I call bullshit. I've ate at numerous 3 star restaurants and always put my elbows on the tables, get drunk and loud and never once came close to being kicked out. Please name this restaurant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one is going to see this, but there is also a different theory. In many households, tables would be smaller and with large families trying to fit in it, putting your elbows on it would create less space, thus resulting in a rude gesture
That was a bad fancy restaurant then... A high end restaurants goal for service is to be available but not intrusive, to anticipate the customers needs, and to make the whole experience comfortable and enjoyable for the diner. Provided you meet any dress code they may have, and don't disturb the other diners, your table manners are none of their business.
Wait so fancy restaurants actually enforce those bullshit rules? I just thought the people sitting with you would judge you and the restaurant wouldn't care.
Jesus people, you've all got it wrong. It's not about offending the host or being associated with the Navy.
If you're sitting really close to someone (like in, say, a banquet hall) and you put your elbows on the table, you're all up in their shit. You'll probably push their plate around or accidentally set your elbow down on their fork. and even if there is room for one person to do that the person next to them probably won't also have the room, so we just made it a rule.
If you're arms are on the table people don't think you're a sailor, they just think you're a dick.
I've been told that I sometimes eat like an ex-con. I'll have my elbows on the table, usually my left hand kinda wrapped around the plate to "protect" my food. But you would too if you had grown up in my house! Just kidding I grew up lower-middle class and there was plenty of Panburger Partner and Kool-Aid to go around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was an etiquette rule not observed by my immediate family, and therefore not taught to me as a young child. My first time flying down alone to visit my grandparents in the south I put my elbows on the table at dinner and was promptly stabbed in the elbow by my grandpa with his fork without warning. I don't know why I never looked up the origin of that rule, it never made sense to me. I asked my grandpa why, he just grumbled about it being rude and uncivilized, but never why it was considered so.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Though it might have roots in history, I always saw it as a posture thing. You hunch when your elbows are on the table. Hunching is generally unsightly and in a fancy restaurant, manners are key.
Bigmac7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also eat using my right hand, I couldn't care less.
This is a distinct possibility. What I really wish would come into vogue is giant, full body bibs for adults. I can't tell you how many shirts I've ruined with bacon grease or olive oil...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then its just, like, residual. Not globs of mustard falling off your chin onto your brand new white pants, staining them yellow, and forcing the said pants to spend the rest of their miserable life in the bottom of your dresser.
I have So. Many. dresses that are ruined in the crotch area. Not from anything fun happening in the crotch area, but because I dropped food in my lap. Especially french fries. It will forever look like you have a wet spot in the front, when really, a year ago, you dropped a fry in your lap.
TheHYPO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:23:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Without exception, any napkin that starts on my lap will end up on the floor when I completely forget that I had a napkin on my lap.
I had no idea this was a thing. I though it was just to keep your nasty mouth wiper off the surface where everyone's food is. My napkin is usually on my lap wadded into a ball or twisted up like a rope.
Yep. That, and having put a napkin on my lap all my life, I now have a habit of wiping my hands on my lap. So if there's no napkin there, my pants are the napkin now.
flukus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat like a child too, the solution is to simply sit closer to the table so it catches any spillage!
I was taught it's good etiquette because "nobody wants to see your dirty napkin on the table". I was raised to do so, so out of habit, it's in my lap every meal. But I don't notice if anyone else does it.
I also use it as a sign of "no more, I'm done eating."
Lyeta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's such a habit for me that when I read the comment on it, I truthfully didn't even register it as something one does or does not do. It just happens. Sit down at restaurant/meal with napkins. Napkin goes on lap. Done. Immediate, pavlovian.
Also, a matter of space availability. If you got your napkin in the table, your glass of water, your preferred drink for the evening, your cutlery and probably your bread, you got no room for the napkin.. Put your dirty napkin on your lap.
hdfb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. Because after a big messy meal you gotta wipe off. Introretrogestion is great, don't get me wrong, but you gotta wipe your anus just like you would your mouth.
_vOv_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My napkin doesn't get dirty unless I'm eating something like wings, in which I'm going to need a lot more than one napkin and I sure as hell ain't keeping them all in my lap.
I put it under my pillow, it's a napkin, not a lapkin.
troxnor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:08:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not there to catch food, it's there to use without drawing attention it. I'm a super sloppy eater when it's hand food like Burgers or Tacos. I do this because looking at someone's dirty napkin near your food is gross
I learned manners in Germany where I was taught that you keep your napkin to the side of the plate. Now, when a waiter comes along and takes my napkin, unfolds it, and puts in my lap for me (weird), I immediately take it out and say, "no, thank you. I'd rather it be up here where I will use it."
Why is that a thing? Do people normally eat like Cookie Monster?
nf5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa would take his napkin and throw it on the floor after his wife (grandma) would tell us to put our napkins in our laps. His favorite thing to say was "Well we all know it's going to end up on the floor anyway"
The texture of a paper napkin makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I can't stand it. Because of this, I always wiped my hands on my pants as a child. As I grew older and started to use cloth napkins, I placed them over my thigh to keep from wiping my hands on my pants.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You kind of sound like one though. It's not about your personal ability to keep crumbs off your lap, it's just the polite and clean thing to do. You don't have to make a personal attack out of it. Anyway, what do you do with your napkin, just leave it crumpled and strewn across the table?
If I wanted to personally attack you I'd ask what kind of filthy hogger you are to need a napkin to clean your face and hands when you eat. Heard of silverware you knuckle dragger? Here, let me get you a trough.
When you spend $5000 on a suit, a 5$ napkin in your lap is appropriate....
I guess if you first reaction to a napkin is to put it in your lap, it sort of says "my other outfit is Armani" even if you're wearing wal-mart brand clothing.
Mcoov ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:18:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you're supposed to do is tuck the napkin into your shirt collar, just under the neck. This only works with cloth napkins.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you rally have that much of a problem with putting a cloth napkin on your lap? The elbows thing I understand but this is just silly. It's even more convenient and no one has to stare at your filthy cloth napkin lying on the table.
Your napkin isn't in your lap to catch food. It's there to not take up table space and keep your table mates from having to look at your dirty napkin that you are using to wipe your mouth with. It's beyond inane etiquette, it's common courtesy.
It's not there so you can catch whatever you might spill into your lap, it's so that you can spare other people from having to look at your dirty napkin.
I thought it was to make conversation round a rectangle table easier. if people have their elbows on the table it can be hard to see past them at other people who you might want to listen/talk to.
Keyann ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before a trip to France, someone told me that it was preferable to have your arms on the table than hidden below the table, because hands under the table is considered rude there. I still don't know if that's true
byroot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is true, just forearms not elbows though. But hands under the table is way worse than elbows on the table.
I think it comes to the way the table is prepared. English style table is usually raw with table mats, while French style table is covered with tablecloth almost reaching the floor.
Interesting. I'd always assumed it had to do with what you could be doing out of sight rather than how the table was set. Thanks
byroot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TBH it's my own interpretation, many people says it was to prevent assassinations. But it seems sketchy to me, a dinner is probably the worst place and time to assassinate someone.
Idk about this one. If your at a pretty roomy table and its really sturdy, yea go for it, but as someone who's siblings would do this all the time when we were kids and bump you because their elbows are further out, I'd say think of who's next to you. If the table isn't completely sturdy, most movements also move the table a bit which can be bothersome to others as well.
Like I said though, if the conditions are fine, it's fine.
mnh1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless of how it started, the rule persists because it's hard to deliver food to a table or to serve and pass dishes if someone is hunched over the table and blocking access.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:18 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ron_e, ron_e strong and able
get your elbows off the table
this is not a horses stable
but a first class dining table
Round the outside you must go
you must go
you must go
Round the outside you must go,
you get going.
I was called out on this while on a date, she was serious. That was our first and last date. HOW DO YOU EAT A BURRITO WITHOUT PUTTING YOUR ELBOWS ON THE TABLE? PLS.
No. Needed the table for the pitcher of margaritas.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally give a fuck. 1) It's generally regarded as poor manners to put your elbows on the table, so to do it shows a lack of regard for good manners. 2) It leads to slouching, leaning, and hunching over food which is lazy and unattractive.
Crashmo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:31:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. If you're eating a slice of pizza with some friends it's one thing, but if you're out to dinner and you can't eat without both your elbows on the table, you're likely eating like a savage to begin with and I'm embarrassed both for and to be with you.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I won't eat with you, but I will call you out if I know you.
Hey - this is America - put your elbows on the table all you want. But bear in mind that you look like an unkempt savage. Class and dignity are voluntary, but not forbidden.
But who decided that that was classy? It's comfortable to put your elbows up and it doesn't hurt anyone or anything. It's like if somebody just decided that using arm rests on chairs is rude. There's no reason for it.
I like that my employer doesn't call them sick days, they're "short-notice days off". They give as examples "it's too nice outside to work, I'm going to the beach" as well as "I don't feel well and I need some rest".
It's a great way to keep your workforce healthy, not just "not sick".
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 22:52:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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seiyria ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, no categories. Call it paid time off (PTO) and let me use it however I choose. Much, much easier.
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 02:03:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This really doesn't work if you get sick with the flu. You end up spending all your vacation for a year on being sick, and then get no time to yourself. It makes for really, really unhappy people.
My job gives us PTO instead of sick time/vacation time. It means that I am able to use as much as I want on vacation, and as much as I need on being sick.
It's way more flexible and I don't feel like I have to lie about why I'm taking a day off. "I had a rough weekend and needed an extra day to recover" is just as valid as "I am literally puking my guts out" which is just as valid as "I have to go to the DMV today" etc. And if i get the flu for two weeks, I don't have to go unpaid when i run out of sick time, or go back to work before I'm well. And if I don't get sick at all, I can take an extra long vacation.
In germany sick time and vacation are seperated by law. Your employer is required to give you at least 20 24 vacation days per year. And six weeks PTO if you are sick.
Those PTO days aren't per year but per sickness. Meaning you get sick -> stay home until well again.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:18:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Many companies don't differentiate the country their employee is in when it comes to determining time off. For instance, I live in the US and work for a company based in Sweden - I get the same benefits as my colleagues across Atlantic. The only paid time off difference we have is observed holidays. We actually have fewer here in the US than they do at the HQ, so we are given "Floating Holiday" PTO that we get to schedule whenever we want. Not gonna lie, I love my job's benefit package, makes me want to avoid working for American companies ever again now that I've seen Euro-style benefits.
YxxzzY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but it is covered by the health insurance, your boss get's his money back, at least partially.
At my job it accrues based on how long you've worked there. As a relatively new employee I think I rack up like 5 hours PTO per pay period or something like that. Not sure what it comes out to per year.
But I feel like its about on par with jobs I've had with separate vacation/sick time, except I can use the time however I want instead of having to split it half and half.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:28:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's pretty generous for a US job -- 130 hours of PTO, which is just over 3 weeks.
I don't remember what the actual numbers are off the top of my head. It might be less than that, and probably is cause I don't think I get three weeks.
But for reference, I've been there since January and just got back from a trip where I took 8 work days off and I had enough PTO to cover 7 of them. So idk what that math is.
I worked at a company (in a union) that had like 24 paid sick days per year or something pretty awesome. But if you called in sick more than 3 times, they sent you a nasty letter. They couldn't actually fire you for it (because of the union), but they made it pretty clear they were going to find another reason to fire you if you didn't stop taking sick time.
shea241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been at my job for a while, so I get 8 hours per pay period, or a little over 2 days per month (~2.12 days I think). They limit your accumulation to 350 hours though.
My company gives you 5 days PTO after 1 year with the company. It's retarded.
YxxzzY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24 days vacation/PTO by law
virtually unlimited by healthcare
shea241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do very much prefer this route.
mcpaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're sick for two weeks, you still have enough PTO to take a vacation? That's nice if your employer gives you a cushy PTO rate, but some of us don't. If you're sick for a week, there goes your planned vacation in 2 months, because you won't be able to earn it back in time.
Mred12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, seriously?
I get 28 days vacation a year. On top of that I get an unlimited-but-don't-take-the-piss amount of sick days (I think, by law, we get 20 days sick, but I'm nowhere near certain on that).
I see where you guys are coming from on this. But my point is you don't get LESS time off if it's all in one pot. If you have five days of vacation time and five days of sick time then you can only be sick for five days before going unpaid or coming back to work AND you can only plan vacations of one week.
My PTO is the same amount, but can be used however I want. If I'm sick for two weeks, I can be paid for that and forgo my vacation OR I can use a few PTO days while sick and then have some sick days go unpaid and still go on vacation later. I have MORE options. I really don't understand what is bad about that.
It's not like segregating your time off magically gives you more of it.
dohrn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It still.is so weird for me that being sick takes away vacation time, just makes no sense for me.
seiyria ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:06:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So instead of having 15 PTO days, you'd rather have 10 vacation and 5 sick?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:21:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, I'd like to fix the system instead of arranging too little food on the plate and somehow pretend that by re-arranging it people have enough. You need about 10 days of sick pay about 15 of vacation to keep a healthy, happy workforce.
seiyria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree with you there, I think the low amount is bullshit. I was just using numbers to make a point.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. Well, regardless of amount, people are going to take ALL of it somehow. You need to have a system tho, for people who get really sick with one of those only-every-five-years flu so that doesn't annihilate their vacation. People that don't get time to play and enjoy the fruits of their labor resent laboring.
Dunk_13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue with Quantifying sick days like that is people feel like they are there to use up. When they should really just be used when ill.
You need a way to allow people time off for illness without making it seem like another form of vacation day to use.
I'm actually pretty happy with my current place. It's pools of different categories, but I can simply cash out what would be traditional "sick time". It's a big pool of sick/whatever/personal and I generally don't ever need to use them. Ends up being a nice bonus paycheck most years. And most people just grab the extra paycheck. If you really wanted to, you could just blow them all before it rolls over to next year as another vacation.
Theres still a vacation pool which is longer and is planned, but I can't cash it out. Forces me to just take off a few weeks every year and chill at home even if I'm not doing anything.
I don't even care if you don't pay me! Sometimes my sanity is worth more to me than a day's pay.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had days where I just can't go to work.
I hate my job enough as it is, and convincing myself to get out of bed in the morning everyday is already an ordeal.
I manage to do it for months at a time, but there are days where it just eats me at more than usual, and I would rather die than have to drag myself to work another day. Those are the days where I call in sick.
I call it burnout. That's what vacation is for. But when you work part time with full time hours and get zero vacation pay, taking vacation is costly. It's misery. We need new jobs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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seiyria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, that would be nice, but I don't have that. I definitely wouldn't mind an unlimited policy for them but if I don't have that then I'd rather just roll them into one.
At my place as long as you don't have anything urgent lined up (e.g. meeting with customer) and you aren't in trouble with manglement, you can just call in and say you're taking the day off and pick which of the leave type you're using up (sick vs vacation).
You're encouraged to apply earlier if it's a vacation but we understand shit sometimes happens so it's not a strict rule and unless you're in bad odor with your manager you won't be hassled for it. I've taken off a whole bunch of times over the years, just rang in and told them I need the day off and please mark it out from my sick leave/vacation leave.
we have this, they're called Flex days and we can use them any time with 24 hours notice... and I get them on top of vacation and sick time (actually sick days aren't even counted)
My employer doesn't even ask why. I could just decide that I want to marathon a video game that day.
The main incentive not to do things like that is that whenever someone calls out and we can't get someone to cover for them, the day's work is much harder since we're short-staffed, and everyone gets out later. So when you do call out there's an acute awareness that that is going to happen to your coworkers, so people usually only do it if they REALLY have to.
They have a lump of paid time off (vacation + "short-notice days off"), but there is a limit on how many short-notice days you can take in a given period of time; there's manager discretion to flex those days for special circumstances.
The upside is that if you end up not needing/wanting short-notice days you can take them as vacation. The downside is that some people come in while sick because they don't want to eat up vacation. Fortunately, I work remotely so those folks don't get me sick, but it sucks for other people in the office.
Yeah, I only get 3 sick days per year then whatever vacation I have.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sick days is such a stupid concept to begin with.
As if people can control when they get sick to begin with.
The best bosses I've ever had never gave a pre-determined number of days, they just told me to stay home when I didn't feel well.
I mean shit, I even offered to finish some stuff from home a few times, and my one boss just told me not to worry about it. You can tell when people care about you, and when they're just giving you the minimum number of required days to keep the law off their back.
Where I work now, it's the opposite situation where my bosses will either hound me about why I was sick and demand a note (as if sick people should be leaving the house, especially when the symptoms are obvious) or be super passive aggressive about my illness when I get back.
neonerz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:24:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You kind of hit the nail on the head why a lot of businesses frown on that. People will then come into work sick as not to use their "vacation" time.
My company used to be very loose on how you used your PTO. We lumped it all together and let employees use it however they wanted. Then people started taking advantage of it (calling out every other Monday, coming into work sick so they could take more vacations, etc) so we had to become more strict with its usage.
Its a shame really. Unlimited sick days were nice.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? That's awesome! Do you work for a big company? What industry are you in?
I wish my firm were like this. If I take a day off I was told I need a doctor's note. I said if I'm too ill to go to work why would I be able to get dressed, leave the house, get on a tram, sit in the doctor's office, tell him I'm not well, get a note then go back home?
I had a teacher who was signed off long term sick. He took my class out for a nice lunch to celebrate the end of our exams and used the line "Just because I'm sick doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself."
My boss is really cool about letting me take days off for what ever reason. As long as there are enough people at work, I'm good to go.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:08 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My office policy is pretty sweet. I get 15 days sick leave a year (that's three weeks) it's rolls over, so after 10 years, I could have 150 sick days saved up, (30 weeks). Plus we have a leave bank - i get Lyme disease, out for 3 months and I only have 20 days of sick leave? Nbd. Burn all my sick leave and use the leave bank. Get paid the whole time.
Anyhow, the cool part is that I get 5 "unexecused" sick occurrences a year. An occurrence is up to 3 consecutive sick days. Unexecused means no questions asked. An "excused" day would be, I have a doctor's appointment, here's a note from his secretary.
It's pretty sweet. I can wake up with a minor headache and call in sick. I could wake up completely fine and call in sick. No one cares, the first five time are solely on the honor system.
My employer has no vacation policy, nor any sick days or whatever. Feeling sick? Don't fucking come into work, ya dunce. Work from home when you feel well, sleep it off and relax when you don't.
Want to take a vacation? Cool. Go take a vacation.
Parents sick in a different state? Right on. Go visit.
Need a mental health day? Do it. If you feel you need one, you probably do, and you should take one.
Have an appointment in the morning? No worries. Come in late.
As long as you're getting your work done, they don't care what you do.
Kits_87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is following the policy as set by the board of directors "abusing" anything? There is one paid time off pool, and we can use some of that pool for short-notice days by policy.
ATCaver ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 20:07:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working a warehouse job right now at a local business. The owner and higher-ups built the company from the ground up, so they remember what it was like to slave away for 8-10 hours a day in the heat.
From May 1 to August 31 you are allowed 5 free days, non-consecutive, at your own discretion, to take off for rest.
I just used one of mine last week after we had a doozy of a week. I had been breaking myself every day trying to get everything done.
I asked my supervisor what we had going on Friday and she said it was going to be an easy day since we had been working so hard during the week. I told her I was going to use a rest day, and she said that it was fine.
I don't understand why other places don't do something like that. We don't have expendable staff like big companies do, so if they're willing to let us have a free day, why can't other places?
Because they want higher productivity levels to squeeze every dime possible out of their employees.
You not coming to work means they lose a little bit of money. Your company is just nice enough to appreciate you and your efforts more than a little bit of profit.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:29:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't they done studies that show that these "high productivity level" methods actually result in lower productivity in the end?
Thank god, too. We used to work every other Saturday, and that is changing next month. They looked at our weeks and noticed that 5 day work weeks were significantly less productive (significant enough where there was no way it was caused by having one less day).
SO looking forward to my 2 day weekends every weekend. I was always fucking useless the Monday after a 6-day work week.
It's a wonderful idea and sentiment. Unfortunately, far too many companies are unable to accommodate such luxury as a day off for you means screwing over your coworkers. Source: waitress for 12 years. I could be puking my guts out or nose pouring like a faucet but if I couldn't find someone to cover my shift I had to come in...including the time a had pneumonia...caused because the restaurant's heat broke in the dead of winter. I'll stop complaining now.
AXP878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think if a company can't afford to give proper sick/vacation time their business model doesn't work and they should go out of business. I would be FURIOUS if my waitress was obviously sick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't find someone to cover my shift I had to come in.
Good luck making that argument to management. These places get away with this shit because their staff can't afford to do anything about it. Complain? Get fired. Get fired? Have fun getting a lawyer to sue for wrongful termination on what you used to make hourly. Most of us can't afford to upset the balance so we don't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Canada, so yes I can complain. If I get fired, that's a human rights violation and the commission will investigate my company. They can and will. Also, I'll complain to the union.
I've had to take mental health days before. In my last job I had the best reaction I've had. I had to declare any medication I was on, so I put down my antidepressants. I'd been fine for eighteen months at that point, but still. They took me into a meeting, which I worried about for a week, only to say that if there was anything they could do they'd be happy to help. Needed specific shifts to go to counselling? They'd do it. Literally anything they could do to help.
Had to take a day off for one of my worst days, they told me to take the week to recover. Seriously wonderful HR people.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does your work need to know your prescription medications?
I believe it was mostly for stuff like insulin for diabetics. If anything happened they wanted to know. I probably didn't even have to declare mine, but I felt I should.
Until we are given mental health days, sick days definitely fill that role in my life.
Mental health is greatly misunderstood in North America. We really need to get our shit together.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:50:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Amp3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this just a joke or are you pointing out some link between mental health and healthy digestion?
gladdit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is believed that there are links between mental health and digestive health. Symptoms of depression can include poor digestive health. The connection could be causal on either end.
I am not a doctor/scientist, but I think I read that serotonin is found in both the digestive system and in the brain, but the connection is unclear.
I would guess that this person resides in the United States. We work a lot, relatively.
To answer your question, not to my knowledge. Many nations in Europe are incredibly generous with their workers. Throwing around the term "the west" like they have is incredibly asinine.
Ace417 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:47:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they do...Do you not know where the hemispheres start?
Amosqu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Japan for one, doesn't let you take a day off with a cold, and you need a doctor's note if you have the flu. Hence one of the reasons why you see so many people wear surgical masks everywhere.
Also, contagion. Sure, I could work with this cold, but then it would spread through the office, infect the customers, etc. Much better I take a sick day and get better and come in when I feel fine and I won't make you feel terrible.
This. Actually, it really bothers me when I see coworkers in sick and then have to worry about whether or not it was contagious, or if I touched something that they might have coughed on or something. Then I turn into a germaphobe for the rest of the day because I don't want to be sick too. Just take the day off if you're contagious, no one else at work wants it!
(Also, if it's possible to work from home, it makes doing this easier since you don't have to fall behind and catch up when you're better)
If you come in with a cold or something equally contagious, you will pretty much be forced to work from home at my office. Nobody wants your ick, dude.
Go home, work from there, come back when you feel well again.
I love my job, and this is just one of the reasons. I work at a software startup that has this very, very incredible combination of 1. being dynamic and exciting, and cutting-edge, 2. employs very smart, very kind people, and 3. run by very generous, very empathetic individuals.
It totally shows, too. Apparently only 1 person has ever left the company.
I've taken only 1 sick day in the last 2 years for this reason. I could have worked, but didn't want the virus to spread to others and cause them to lose work. I felt awkward even playing video games that day, couldn't even enjoy it.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:55:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you have a work schedule with shifts and calling in sick means your manager needs to find another person willing to come in an hour before the shift starts. In that case, don't be a douche and go to work unless you're really physically incapable.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:20:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
manager needs to find another person willing to come in an hour before the shift starts
This is the reason that if I ever have to call in, it's with a minimum of 2-3 hours of notice.
If I'm too sick to go to work, I know it well in advance and give my superiors more than enough headsup to either get the shift covered or at least let my workmates know that they'll be a man short for the shift.
At the same time though, I've had instances where I was far too sick to leave the house at all (usually vomiting or something disgusting like that), so I'd call and inform I was too sick to work, but then the illness runs its course in 20-40 minutes and I could have gone in anyway with no ill effects. Sometimes it can be hard to tell until it's too late. At the time I was doing part-time hourly work too, so no sick pay or anything, you don't show up and you don't get paid. Kinda puts people in a predicament when they don't want to lose those hours on the (sometimes likely) chance that they'll be feeling better later.
I manage a bar and actually had a handful of times where employees would call in sick an hour or two early and have me scramble to cover them only to have them come in with their friends to drink. Don't do this.
Having worked in management a considerable amount, I think this entirely depends on how your company is structured.
If you have both paid sick leave, and PTO (Paid Time Off/Vacation) then I don't accept that you should be able to use paid sick leave to stay home because you want to binge on Netflix. That's what your PTO is for. If you don't want to come to work today, cool, use some of your PTO and take the day off.
If your company is structured in a way that both aren't offered, then I would agree. Use whatever form of paid time off you have however you want, for whatever you want.
Just don't come whining to me 1/4 through the year about having no more paid time off if you've already burned through it. If it's absolutely critical, then I can try to accommodate you, but outside of that, well... A lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine.
Interesting. Every company I've worked for allowed you to use PTO anytime you needed it.
They of course preferred you schedule it, so replacement personnel could be assigned to cover the shift, but if you had an emergency or whatever they didn't care if you called in absent and used PTO to cover your pay.
Ace417 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sick time never goes away. My vacation does over a certain amount. I'll use my sick time thanks.
I disagree with your definition of "mental health day" as an excuse to hang out with friends or watch TV all day. That's what weekends and vacation time is for. That's different from taking a "mental health day" because you're suffering from panic attacks and can't focus on work.
_Dotty_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:07:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or suffering from depression so debilitating that you can't get out of bed.
We have a pretty generous amount of sick days. I have really bad anxiety and depression which even though I'm being treated for, can still be overwhelming. I use my sick days generally for those days. Unfortunately my employer doesn't feel like that is a legitimate use and I've been written up for it despite still being under my sick day cap. It is pretty frustrating.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just took a "mental health day" the other day. Only it was really "I'm having a breakdown and my mind is telling me to kill myself" day. Called in last minute. Deffinitly screwed some people over. I'm going to be getting a reprimand/write up next time I see my manager because I've already used my allowed 10 sick days and 5 personal days because you earn them back one year to the day you took them and I had a rough year this past year. I needed it thoigh and my life and mind are worth more than the job.
Sometimes when I'm sick and it keeps me up through the night. By morning, I feel okay, but I've been up most of the night. I don't want to come in but I'm certainly not sick. In that case if I sleep a few hours, I'm good to go by lunch time, but I'm not going into work at that point.
For a lot of the reasons you listed, I just started telling people (including my boss) that "I won't be able to make it into the office today". It's none of their fucking business why, I have days to use and I can use them how I plan to. If they start asking why I called out or didn't make it to work I just tell them that I had things going on. If they keep prying then they are an asshole.
Right with you on the sick time. Maybe I even just need a few extra hours of sleep because I couldn't fall asleep until 4am. Hell I would argue its way more productive to have two half days than 1 full. If I go in at noon I get everything done I'd need to do anyway, maybe more because I'm not annoyed and I'm actually functional.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to take days off due to mental health but I had to make up a 'health' reason why I wasn't there. It sucked because I was bullshitting my employer but, at the same time, I was in no shape to go to work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed on this so much. I have chronic bronchitis and the first hour or two after waking up is sometimes a hell consisting of coughing up bloody mucus so on especially bad days, I have to call in sick for the morning but in the afternoon I can have my inhaler, cough drops and sometimes pain meds and I'm perfectly fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lover mental health days. I have never not considered them apart of my sick days since I was a young child. They are possibly more important as taking days off when you are physically ill.
felza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From time to time I wake up with a terrible headache or even a small fever and then decide to not go to school but instead sleep for the rest of the day. I get a lot better after a sleep and my school still wonders why i don't have a doctor's note. Oh I'm sorry, because i'd rush to the doctor at 7 in the morning grab a note and head to class with a freaking headache. nope, not happening.
I think it's just natural to say things like that. I am in tech school for broadcasting as our classes are small. So when I'm not there I always get asked why I wasn't there. It's annoying but I just think it's meant in some sort of well being/ nosy.
I need to bring in a doctor's note to call out sick, and even then I can be fired if I get sick more then 3 times per year. I can't wait until I have my degree lol factory work sucks
So are you giving me permission to call out tomorrow?
Soapuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The store I work at hates when people call in sick. Just yesterday I was talking with a coworker who was feeling awful, but when he had called in our manager told him to come in anyways. And last month I called in twice and got a verbal warning for it. They were two seperate, unrelated days. One at the beginning of the month and one toward the end. I can see it being a problem if someone constantly called in all the time, but besides those two days the last time I called in sick was a year ago.
Maybe you need to lay off the nerdahol? Just kidding. I agree with you completely.
Where I live (South Korea, for now) employers will come to your house to look for you so they can verify that you are actually too sick to come to the office.
At the office I worked in back in the US, we just called them personal days and they were like vacation days that you didn't need to reserve in advance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, you may not actually feel particularly sick but don't want to infect people.
I've never had a job that gave separate sick and vacation days, so my message to my boss has always been "I'm not working today." If you aren't giving me sick days, then i have no reason to tell you why I'm using PTO that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If your "sick days" are taken at short notice, it may inconvenience someone else, which is dickish.
pharuan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental Health days are just me calling in "work sucks I need a day". I'm a adult, if i need a day to do errands or whatever Ill take it. I know some people have jobs that suck and dont allow such things but I work way way to much to deal with crap like that.
I have multiple sclerosis. I never look sick, and I'm actually doing really well. But, it's my ace in the hole. If I have to deal with all of the shitty aspects of this disease, I think I'm entitled to use it to my advantage occasionally, too.
I've had a migraine since yesterday, I work retail so weekends aren't days off for me. I've been super stressed lately and everyone has been getting complaints from customers and the complaints are getting unreasonably stupid (she told me x was out of stock and that's horrible customer service!!!) Etc.
So I called in today. Migraine alone was enough to keep me in bed half the day. But I need time off to deflect the bullshit.
Mental health in general is taken nearly seriously enough. About 1/4 people will be clinically depressed in their life time, and we still stigmatize it an don't want to talk openly and address the problem
Had the same problem as a kid. I would wake up feeling like garbage and tell my mom I was too sick for school. Then I sleep for 4 more hours after taking some medicine and feel better by lunch time, but then get grilled because I'm feeling well enough to play video games.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd wager that stress is a bigger impact on productivity than taking a day off for mental health every so often. Employers (and co workers who like to make off the cuff remarks about people who've taken a sick day for whatever reason) seem to be clueless.
Personally I think every employer should tell their employees explicitly that you can use your sick days as you see fit.
By many accounts, that second point is extremely valid for the US because we barely get allotted any time off. I sometimes wake up late and just straight up feel poopy. Why? Because I have to work. Nothing wrong with me, I just want a goddamn day off.
uma100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, especially in the U.S. we have screwed up laws about vacation time and working hours. People in my office will hang around until 6:45 pm everyday even if they aren't doing anything because it will look bad if they leave early.
wewora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but if you work one of those jobs where you can't just do the work another day, someone else has to come in and cover for you, it's shitty to do something like that.
I completely agree with this. A while back I ended up with the flu, but it was a mild case as far as flu goes and I felt pretty much okay really quickly. However, I was told not to return to work (where I work with children, too) until I was fever free for 24 hours. I ran low-grade fever around 1 degree for 3+ days and I went to grab a couple of things from the store one afternoon where apparently a co-worker saw me there and complained to my boss that I was at the store when I was supposed to be sick. Also, people need to mind their own damn business!
I disagree somewhat. If you feel yourself getting stressed, request a Friday off on Wednesday. Don't call in Friday morning and force everyone else to unexpectedly do your work. This assumes you have a shared work load and not individual projects of course. Waking up and saying "I don't feel like working today" is bullshit in my opinion. Get over it, take tomorrow off if you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
I do agree that just because you were sick in the morning doesn't mean you can't do something in the afternoon is true though. Little bugs like that happen. that shouldn't be a big deal.
I can't imagine an employer who wouldn't fire me if I took a "mental health day." All of my employers have had the policy: If you're well enough to drive a car, you're well enough to work. Otherwise you're fired and we'll find someone else who actually shows up. When I worked at either Best Buy or Blockbuster in high school, one of them (I forget which) had a maximum of three sick days allowed per year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They'd rather have me show up and do 20% as good a job as usual than have me not show up at all. So, the only thing that is a valid excuse for taking a day off is if I'm physically unable to get there.
Thank you!! In my high school days I took the max days off without getting in trouble with the school just because. I wasn't sick. My mom knew I wasn't sick, but she let me stay home because fuck it I had great grades and sometimes I would have just rather read in bed all day or play video games than deal with high school bullshit.
Oh my goodness YES! I was taking a sick day from my bakery I work at. The shift leaders climb up my butt hole and say, You don't sound sick. In my mind, I say, I'm sick of dealing with a**hole leaches like you guys who thinks it's right to bother me. Yes, you're busy. How come you didn't ask or pester anyone else? Why target me? I need a moment from your "Fran-from-The-Nanny" accent.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can I have a sick day if my friends have work jobs too and yet somehow hang with them? I wish.
nublete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU!! I have a disability that can some days make it impossible to get out of bed in the morning but by two in the afternoon I feel well enough to go workout and very very few people understand this.
This one is fucking bullshit. If I take the day off work because I'm sick then go to the gym or something that night, my parents get all pissy about it. Like fuck off, I'll do what I want with my sick leave..
I'm 25 fucking years old.
I've worked for employers with feelings across the spectrum about sick time.
Some didn't give me any, some gave me shit for using it, some could care less if I used it.
When I was a cook, my uncle killed himself, and we had kind of a memorial at our house B/c we couldn't afford a funeral. I told my boss 3 days in advance I needed the day of the memorial off and she said, "Ugh, now I have to find someone to work for you." Fuck you Cathy, even if I was lying, who says that shit to someone?
Luckily, I'm at a job now that gives decent sick/vacation time, and my absence doesn't give anyone else a noticeably harder time. I've literally come into work and had a half day vacation for the same day approved.
I work in fast food, and the main reason management gets upset with this is because it's customer service, and if we don't have enough people to run things smoothly, we're going to get swamped and overwhelmed. We'll make mistakes and have angry customers and lose money. While I totally completely agree with you, at least in my industry, there's a reason for it.
I hated working retail for this reason. If you call in, you better be dying. I had a stomach bug and they still borderline threatened me if I didn't come in. Literally had to scream "I HAVE DIARRHEA AND WILL NOT BE COMING IN" to get them to leave me alone. Also, I worked for a pharmacy for 4 years and at no point was I made aware that I had sick days. They were never once mentioned to me until I had to take some time off and in reviewing my available time, a manager mentioned the number of sick days I had left. I still have no idea how many I was entitled to in a year. Transparency wasn't exactly their thing.
Same on doctor's notes. Almost every job I've had required doctor's notes if you missed work. Um, pretty sure you don't pay me enough to have insurance, nor do you pay me enough to make up for the $80 I have to spend at the free clinic (in addition to the 60ish dollars I'm missing out on because I'm too sick to work) every time I have a stomach bug, a bad cold, etc. Please trust me to judge that yes, I'm sick, and no, I can't work through it.
Ah, America. Land of the free, home of the working and sick as fuck.
I like the idea I'd calling them mental health days. Especially when it comes to menial jobs that provide no mental or physical stimulation.
To be honest I feel like I need a couple, especially as it feels like I had two days taken from me and I've been told that I won't get them back as they were unpaid.
If you find yourself that badly needing a 'mental health' day or use those days like vacations, you should probably find a job you're actually capable of performing without taxing yourself.
The kind of people who see sick days as free vacation days are the kind of people their workplaces can probably do without.
I hated that. I used to get nearly constant migraines, 3-4x a week and was constantly in a state of headache. The thing about Migraines is that mine would last anywhere from 2 hours to 3 days. So I would typically call in if I felt like it was going to be a bad one.
Well sometimes I make a bad call and its over by early afternoon. So I go out. People just don't get it...
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, i absolutely dont get why you would take a day off once in a while at the expense of your employer, rather then get proper medical treatment of such a apparently serious issue..
I did get proper treatment and was getting treatment. My medication hadn't started working yet. I've only had a migraine maybe three times a month since my medication began to work.
But when I get them they are still severe and can still last just as long with symptoms occurring up to a day before the pain sets in. If you knew about migraines then you'd know most have no real cause, and many people suffer silently because there is nothing to be done. The medications only work so well and at some point stop working altogether.
I used to suffer through work and school sick and sensitive to light and sound and it simply prolonged the experience. I find now they don't last nearly as long if I just call into work instead of going in, being almost too sick too work, and having to leave anyway and remain sick hours longer.
I've had a battery of tests, I've cut out alleged triggers one by one. I have a neurologist who checks routinely on my progress. The medication cuts back on them, but not completely and I still have near constant headaches. At this point all she can do is hope they level off or go away when I get closer to 25. They have gone down, they still occur and when they do I will call in.
There is literally nothing I can do but choke back pills and wait. So yeah I'll call in so that I can work my next shift instead of prolonging the pain for days and putting in subpar work or having to call in the following two days instead of taking the first day off to treat it.
Narcli ยท 1907 points ยท Posted at 15:09:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People drinking on the streets... I don't care as long as they're not arseholes.
bokonos ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 16:38:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to move to New Orleans.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:03:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really that common there? I've been wanting to move there for a while actually..
1rj800 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:48:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. Just don't do stupid shit and there is never any problems.
Please don't move here and open a craft cocktail bar.
FTFY
Geaux12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw c'mon, don't be one of the xenophobes. When our state is run by an incompetent fuckboy like Bobby J, we need all the help we can get. Just don't come here and turn it into Brooklyn.
This goes doubly for all the immigrants to Louisiana who feel they have license to bitch about anyone who came after them.
If someone's final deciding factor in whether or not they'll move here is the loose public intoxication laws, I doubt they'd be much help.
Also, living here my entire life and seeing people come here in their 20s and get wasted day in and day out, and pretending they have some egocentric understanding of "the city" and then want to bitch about the people who have lived here their entire lives can turn one into bit of a misanthrope. This city is the black hole of shit holes and people coming here and glorifying it's debauchery are the ones keeping it that way.
Or maybe I just walked passed one too many crusties today.
Geaux12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The black hole of shit holes
Someone's never been to the rust belt. Imagine all the crime, but none of the culture.
I meant it more in reference to all the people coming here from all the other shitty places and just staying here, along with those of us who somehow try to get away but always end up getting stuck coming back here. More people come here than leave, basically.
Yes! Everytime I go I'm still surprised that it's literally the norm to be drinking/holding a bottle of alcohol in the streets. In Toronto, and basically Canada in general (besides Montreal), you can't drink in public (or you just have to be really good at hiding it) and last call is at 2am. In New Orleans, I don't think I've ever been told "last call" lol the party is all night. One of the many reasons New Orleans is absolutely amazing, and why I love going.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to a bar, buy a drink. Leave, go to a bodega, buy a tallboy. Walk to new bar, repeat.
It's like the streets are another bar!
elk-x ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:03:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you can drink on the streets in butte? I once had to kill a three hour bus layover there, when nothing was open and if I had known that, (and any bars had been open) I'd have drank on the street. Instead some hippie guys got me stoned on a roof, so it was still ok.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:16 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, actually. Walking the streets back to the hotel at around 8 PM and was absolutely manhandled by two creeps. My sister and I were visiting for the first time.
This is probably the worst thing about nightlife in the US. Other countries have so much fun with streets vendors because you can have a beer outdoors with your amazingly greasy food :c
It's pretty much the same across South Florida as far as I've seen. Whether you are going fishing, going to the beach, golfing, or just bar hopping, drinking outdoors is just part of it.
Was going to say this. Me and a buddy lost our IDs on Duval St so we couldn't get into bars, but a guy on the street selling beers didn't care, and we just bought some from him and walked around all night, it was pretty fun
Ah, Duval Street. Disneyland for alcoholics! Love that island.
Narcli ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really allowed in town and city centres unless your sitting outside a pub, but as long as you're not loud or as previously mentioned ed an aresehole, police don't seem to mind.
rtilde ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:06:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really allowed in town and city centres unless your sitting outside a pub
Nope. Speaking for my own country, you can drink a beer anywhere you can drink any other liquid.
Manadox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And which country is this?
rtilde ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:17:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Switzerland for instance you can drink anywhere you want in public. Even right in front of the Federal Palace, if you want. And no one will bother you.
As far as I know in Belgium as well. Only thing I have seen pop up more and more recently in busy pub streets is that it's forbidden to have glasses or glass bottles outside after a certain hour. Plastic cups and cans are no problem.
Omholt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. It's illegal but the cops aren't looking for an excuse to come around unless you're causing trouble. In the US, the cops see it as a good excuse to bust someone.
R u kiddin me, every collection of bars in Houston has a food truck nearby! Midtown is where all the night life is at has kabab guys, mexican Korean fusion, pizzas
I've heard Japan has something similar but don't know how common it is there.
It's been a while so my memory could be playing tricks on me, but I think I once came across a claw vending machine in Korea that included a bottle of alcohol (cheap scotch?) as one of the things that could be won. However, it could also have been a giant paperweight that only looked like alcohol.
claryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this was very "foreigner" thing to do since it is seen as rude to walk while drinking or eating anything in Japan (but legal to have alcohol on the streets), but when I studied abroad there we'd do "convenience store crawls." There's a convenience store basically at every other corner in Tokyo, probably similar to Korea.
You buy a beer at the first convenience store and you have to finish it before you get to the next convenience store, if you're not done you have to chug it and pay for someone else's at the next one. Proceed to get ridiculously shitfaced.
I'm guessing you're in a country where it's not a social norm, and I think that's the reason most are arseholes for you. Normal people are scared of getting nicked or scolded. Here in Ireland people drink in public a lot more than in, say, America and are mostly normal people because our police don't care as long as you're not causing trouble.
I, for one, am certainly more of a goofy/funny drunk than I am an angry one. I feel it has to do with the metaphorical dick measuring contest that many guys my age get into.
In America, I've found a few small, dive bars with only a handful of regulars where everyone gets along. Everytime I went to a "popular" bar, someone had to be an asshole and there were usually multiple people ejected every night. I've had people get aggresive towards me for absolutely no reason. Some bars even have super aggresive bouncers that escalate things for no reason, one of the bars had a lawsuit because one of their roided out bouncers punched a woman in the face. I don't even go to bars anymore. Why pay $12 for a shot just to be hassled by idiots all night?
I can't really relate to a lot of it as here you only really get that shit in clubs, which I don't go to, proper pubs here are brilliant (if you ever plan to come here, I have lots of recommendations). But yeah, if you want to get a buzz with some friends, the park isn't a bad option at all!
To be fair, I moved to a different area in the US and people seem much happier and friendlier here. I'm realizing my hometown is kinda shitty. It really turned me off to the whole bar scene, though. There's only one bar I like and I ended up becoming friends with the owner. There would be 5 or 6 people on a regular night and it was a good place to kick back for a beer. Most places in my hometown have turned into the "Club Scene" or "Sports Bar" to drive up business. They all feel like they're in the same franchise or something.
I've never seen this one as a social issue so much as a safety one. Rather like general public intoxication and drunk-driving regulations. If your'e getting sauced in public around other people/traffic/etc, odds are there's going to be an issue.
I'm also American (I just live in Germany). We can drink on the streets in Missouri as well though. I never really thought much of it until I realized that most of the States don't allow it.
Drives me crazy. I could be at a friends house drinking a beer about to head over to a friend's place two blocks away and I either have to dump it or chug it cause I could get a $300.00 ticket if a cop drives by when walking that two blocks with a beer.
Being drunk might cause a safety issue, but just because I'm drinking doesn't mean I am (or even will be) drunk. It's nuts that I can't legally walk across the street with half a beer in my hand because I decided to see if the neighbor wanted one.
That specific instance would be covered under most places' "open container" laws. The same thing that can get you in trouble if you have an open bottle or open case of beer in your vehicle when pulled over, drinking or not. Also, what kind of asshole offers his neighbor half a beer? ;)
At least in the lovely state in which I reside, the open container law isn't just a traffic regulation, and is written vaguely enough that it's an offense in public period.
It makes no sense though that I can walk into a bar take 6 shots of tequila and then walk right out into the streets, but if I enjoy a single beer while walking outside I'm now breaking the law. It's absolutely ridiculous.
If we're going to debate the ridiculousness of laws I can point you to a place where it is still illegal to take a bath in the front room of your house on Saturday night. I just came for the 'socially unacceptable' vs 'actually illegal' bit.
Went to Savannah, GA last spring break. They have no laws against drinking in the streets and everything seemed to be going perfectly fine for them. I didn't see a single person stab someone else with a bottle.
And in most cases, you wouldn't. Just like most bars go most days without people being beaten, shot, or stabbed. Unfortunately laws aren't written with any kind of applicable sense in mind, and have to be tailored to blanket protect as much of the lowest common denominator as possible. You think we have speed limits because vehicles can't handle driving down the highway at rates greater than 55mph? No, it's so that tickets can be written and there are a lot of people that would do double that without the training or capability to do it safely.
No, it's so that tickets can be written and there are a lot of people that would do double that without the training or capability to do it safely.
Because driving faster than 55 mph is significantly more dangerous than not. The same isn't necessarily true for drinking in streets being legal vs. not.
Makes sense but getting sauced inside and then walking outside would be just as dangerous. Bringing your drink with you doesn't make it more dangerous.
Yeah, I guess you can't really have people walking around drinking all day but I was imaging just walking from bar to bar. Like certain streets at certain times could allow public drinking and I don't think it would be much of problem.
Nor do I...but I was just stating that I don't think it's a 'social' thing like OP's question, and more of a regulatory issue, at which point I was saying I think it falls more under those regulations than being something in particular.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why drinking on the street is illegal an many places. It's not like you can't get wasted at home then leave and cause public disturbances.
zeuther ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:48:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's more of a safety concern for the drinker and their environment however
Well here it's okay. There are even public events on public spaces where people go to drink. If it's aimed at younger people you see them streets away going towards or from it with alcohol in hands.
You can also just get drunk in the city's park
Too bad alcohol is such a lame drug
Ps: it's not drinking events per se but people like to use every occasion to get drunk
Don't blame the alcohol, bub. It's "nicotine" by they way. For future reference. And nicotine does suck, but alcohol is way better for those of us whose bodies are kind enough to not flip out on it. My condolences for that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That and pissing in public. I mean as long as the guy isn't just pissing on a window downtown with people inside and is instead taking time to head in the bushes and be discreet about it and whatnot, I could really give a shit. It's just piss, why should someone get a ticket because they're walking down the sidewalk and every bathroom is "customer only". We really have to pay money to take a fucking piss or else we get a ticket and pay money?
Ticket? It's also possible to become a registered sex offender if someone wants to make a big deal out of it. It is a bit ridiculous but is not without it's health hazards too.
I'm fine with someone giving you a ticket for pissing in the street... Along with the 378 other hobos pissing on my back door every week... And in regard to them it makes sense, because it's not like they can just go piss in the toilet at home.
Nah, don't treat the street like a public toilet. Accidents happen (Little kids I understand) but usually it's drunk people behind the club, right down the alley from my studio, and I'm honestly not impressed by the constant funk of concentrated urine being continually re-hydrated by a fresh stream of hot rejected beer.
I think that's more of a safety issue than anything... In college, if I got a dollar for every time I saw someone stumble in front of a moving car just to have them slam on the breaks and barely avoid hitting them, I'd be rich.
That's not to do with drinking on the streets, it's because the drinking age in America is so high that kids in college don't know how to handle their alcohol.
Actually now that you mention it you're exactly right. When I heard "drinking on the street" my young brain automatically jumped to "getting shitfaced on the street."
I'm more annoyed by people walking around carrying on loud phone conversations than I would be by somebody drinking a beer on Main Street. Just don't be a drunk asshole and cause problems for anyone else
I moved to Savannah, Ga about a year ago. I wholesale avoid the area north of Jones Street (where public drinking is fine) Thursday night through Sunday. From what I can tell, it's only assholes that drink on the streets. To be entirely fair, they're almost all tourists. But, still, it's people getting stumbling, mumbling, drooling drunk.
And forget about the major holidays. It's people getting blind drunk, puking in the streets, peeing in the street, beating each other up, etc. I'm amazed that no one has died of alcohol poisoning/dehydration/heatstroke like all the time.
I don't mind people having a good time and all, but there's such a thing as too much at once. If you want to get that drunk, don't do it in the middle of a busy city where people live and puke on their rosebushes. It honestly wouldn't be so bad if it weren't THOUSANDS of people doing it instead of just a handful.
Alot of states have no rules about drinking openly in the streets. Typically it is against a municipal ordinance to do so, but not everywhere has an ordinance that forbids it. I live in a mid sized town in Illinois that doesn't have a prohibition against drinking in public but you can't leave a bar with an open container because its against state law.
I know it's not a street but last month my gf and I went on a 8 mile hike. We ended up at this beautiful lake that was perfect for sitting shore side and sippin' on a beer. We busted out the natures valley bars and threw back a Rainier beer each because we're classy. Both of us are very conscious of litter and pack out what we bring in, even going so far as to pick up random pieces of trash we see if we have the room for it. This old couple just glared at us from about 50 feet away while we sipped out cheap beers as if we were tarnishing the pristine landscape just by being there. It was the weirdest thing but I'd be damned before I let them ruin my blue sky nature hike beer. I earned that shit!
Problem is there are a lot of assholes that drink publicly, so you have to ban it as a whole. I think it's better that way anyway. Can't they wait until they're home on in a pub.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. America's open container game is weak as hell.
This is completely legal and commonplace in Korea, and most of the time it's no big deal. But sometimes problems arise from this. From what I've heard they are considering a law prohibiting public drinking.
Drinking in public is legal in many places, such as Japan and many countries in Europe.
I have no idea why it's outlawed in North America. I see people in Canada behave way worse under the influence than people in Japan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to take 4 cans up to the seafront, sit on the hill and watch the ocean. It was lovely, threw all my cans in the dustbin and never bothered anyone I just had a nice couple of hours peace and quiet.
tehftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's supposed to protect against drunks destroying public property, but most of the time I see that police goes after those who are drinking instead of those who are destroying property.
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the funny thing about certain freedoms in America. Some places you can carry a concealed gun, but I don't know of any place you can drink on the street. Actually come to think of it, a bunch of drunks carrying guns around sounds kind of terrifying.
In Japan it's ok to drink on the streets but not ok to drink (anything) while walking. So we stood outside of a convience store and drank like Jay and Silent Bob.
It is usually illegal in many places, that is why.
estvik ยท 4158 points ยท Posted at 15:22:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running in public. Not as means of training, but as means of getting from one place to another. Much more time efficient than walking. I would run at the speed that I'm not going to sweat.
I once ran home from the pub, and I got stopped by the police because they thought I had stolen something
Brancher ยท 668 points ยท Posted at 18:50:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider myself in pretty good shape. I actually prefer to run home from the bar as opposed to taking a taxi. Even if it's a couple miles, not a big deal and you usually feel much better when you get home.
Not going to be so great when you keel over halfway through a race due to a heart attack. Not talking shit, but you said you had a coke problem. That implies heavy use which will fuck your heart up no matter how much running you do. If you're training while high it's even worse as you're running your heart at max constantly.
I'm late to the party, but that was a great comeback.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What is your PR? This is my first summer running, hit 20:52 as my best 5k so far. I'm around 47 for 10k and started training this week to run my first half in October. Hoping to do it in 1:45.
In an actual race like 15:15 maybe? From the bar no clue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christ that's quick. Fastest I've seen first hand in a race was back in May a guy put up a 15:03... Then again I didn't catch it first-hand. He would have been over a km ahead of me.
Tbern05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try meth. It's more cost efficient.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem? Sounds like you found a great way to super charge your workouts. A girl from my old high school did this for a while. She can't have kids now but damn if she isn't hot.
I've run ~3 miles home from the bar a few times as well. Granted, it was after a kickball game so I'm already in athletic gear and 6-7 beers is adequate hydration for me.
No way in hell would I willingly run several miles home in jeans and desert boots or Vans. That's what the bus or Uber is for.
During college and for several years after, running was the standard way of getting home, occasionally i'll still bet friends that I can beat them home, my drinking has curtailed significantly, not the running.
I'm not cheap when I'm drunk, I've just spent all my money on booze - which is why it seems a good idea to walk back the 10km to residence, at 2am, in -40. Everyone called me crazy, but I actually enjoyed the walk.
Something about the heart os under stress cos of all the poison in the bloodstream. I dunno the specifics just a bloke talked to us at work and he had all sorts of phds
I'm not even a distance runner and I do this after a night out because its the ONLY time I can get away with it. I'm a 20min walk from my closest bus stop and man, unless i'm wearing my workout gear I just get messed up looks if I'm doing a light jog even. It's only a mile, I dont need to break a sweat, but it's just strange to see someone going to work running i guess.
It's also a hell of a lot faster. Boosting from 1.5mph to a light 6mph quarters the travel time. Hour walk=15 min light run.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Used to walk about 4 miles home from town every weekend.
Usually walk 4 miles there too. Just carried my headphones and ipod then put those in and enjoyed some tunes on the walk, luckily no one ever ran up behind me in the alley and decked me with a plank of wood.
This, When i was running a lot I would run home from the pub all the time! Nothing like that cold morning air in your face while it feels like your moving must faster than you actually are.
Yeah, I was arrested several years back because I was drunkenly running home from a bar. Apparently a cop was chasing after me yelling at me to stop and my drunkass didn't hear him. I was tackled in the parking lot to my apartment and then thrown in the drunk tank. I got a first-hand experience of the U.S. judicial system when I spent the next 6 months fighting an "evading arrest" charge.
I eventually settled for Failure to Comply and Jaywalking, so two class C misdemeanor's instead of a class A, which could have really messed with background checks. Ideally I would have fought it till everything was dropped but I had just graduated college and was making next to nothing at my first job and couldn't afford to keep paying for a lawyer or to keep taking off time for court dates where they would make me sit and wait for anywhere from 3-6 hours before telling me they weren't ready and then reschedule. It's all taken care of now and in the past but it was definitely eye-opening into how the court system can massively fuck over lower-income or even middle-income people.
Sounds like a pretty shitty situation, glad to hear that it (kind of) worked out for you, although you're echoing the same problem that gets talked about all the time. Pretty frustrating stuff
_Bones ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:23:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole "Speedy trial" thing kind of fell by the wayside a while back.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:02:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time people waive their right to a speedy trail if they plan on fighting the case.
The crazy thing is, if you had been busting your ass on a bike, no one would have batted an eye. Somehow it's socially unacceptable to use our feet for anything other than walking in public, but add some pedals and wheels into the equation and now you're just using the vehicle like it's meant to be used. You almost never see anyone biking at a jogging pace, or just running for no reason.
And the thing is, biking home from a bar is probably more dangerous than running.
posam ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:20:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you can get a DUI.
_Bones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which I have never understood. What are you going to do on a bike, other than fall over or slowly veer into a bush? When I'm that drunk I cant even walk fast and stay balanced.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a drunk cyclist once. He got on his bike, wobbled for a few meters, crashed into a low brick wall and fell into some rose bushes. Was pretty funny.
The US doesn't even allow people to run in public places? That's...weird..I often run when I'm late to class, or when I simply want to get somewhere quick.
fresh72 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:12:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to have on a suit, sports gear, or have your cellphone out like you have to meet someone
or just look frantically like you're about to miss something
fresh72 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to have on a suit, sports gear, or have your cellphone out like you have to meet someone
uma100 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:18:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I know someone who had a very similar thing happen to him when he was completely sober but I think he was just detained/hassled and not arrested. I'm a paralegal currently working in HR, you would be surprised at how many people I have to do background checks on that have stories like this.
Yeah, the problem was that the DA kept dragging the case out. They would schedule a court date, I would take off work to go in, then I would wait several hours for them to just tell me that their case wasn't ready, then they would reschedule for a month or so later. I had about 5-6 different court dates and after that I couldn't afford to keep paying the lawyer or take off work anymore. So when they finally offered me a settlement of Failure to Comply and Jaywalking six months later I took it. It was bullshit, and I'm still kinda pissed that I settled, there was just no way I could afford to continue on with the way they were dragging it out.
Oh yeah, it was several years ago and all in the past. It was just one of the many hiccups I've had throughout my life that make the good parts, like now, so much better.
"Evading arrest" on what fucking grounds? Fucking piggie had no goddamn reason to arrest you in the first place so how could you evade it?
"Oh, we're gonna charge you with murder. What's that? You didn't kill anybody and there's no victim? Too bad, buddy."
Goddamn, I would have been hulked out with rage if I were you.
Public intoxication, I was drunk and outside so they had a "reason" to stop me. The evading arrest was because I didn't stop when they were chasing me, granted, it wouldn't have held up if I had ever actually gone up in front of a judge, but like I said in another reply, they just kept dragging the case out so that I wound up settling because I couldn't afford to keep paying the lawyer or keep taking days off of work. And as for hulking out with rage, if you do that on a cop you're winding up in a lot worse place than the drunk tank.
I've never been stopped by the police, but I have had random strangers say odd things if they see me running then I stop near them (like if I'm waiting to cross the street). They'll comment than jeans and a button up is not common running gear, like humans can only run when they're wearing technical fabric. Someone did once ask me what I was running from. Sometimes walking is too slow and I just want to get somewhere a little quicker. I'm not in the greatest physical shape, but I'm healthy enough to jog a few blocks without getting out of breath or all sweaty. I'm not sure why that's so strange.
Actually I was riding my bike to the grocery store one time and someone asked if I had lost my drivers license. None of your fucking business, but the answer is no. I'm just too poor to buy gas this week.
I always have to suppress the urge to yell "STOP! THIEF!" when I see somebody running by,,,
Lindur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely sucks that people using physically active means of transportation for anything other than exercise seems to have a negative social stigma attached to it, especially in an age when the health and environmental benefits are much needed.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone did once ask me what I was running from.
you answered with something like "dinosaurs" or "sharks" right?
When I was in the first grade I didn't know how to skip and in class one day we played a game that required skipping around the room. So I just jumped sideways around the room.
estvik ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:27:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same problem. My home is like 8km/5mi from the city centre where all the bars are. Once I ran home all the way (because taxi is expensive and we don't have nightbuses, cool way to sober up too). I got stopped by a police and some people who were on my way were kind of scared.
This happened to my brother. He was late meeting me one night because he was running to catch the bus and the police stopped him and wouldn't let him carry on for a good half hour, looked up his info and everything. I mean, I get that it can look suspicious, but sometimes people just run..
I ran from where I was living to the bar one night and my mom happened to drive by and see me hauling ass down the street. Later she told me that she thought I was just really excited to get to the bar and start drinking when all that I was really doing was saving time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similar for me. As a small woman, I was once running home from the bus (there really weren't many people out that day), but two people ended up seeing me and stopping and asking if I was attacked or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Fahrenheit 451, the police stop the main character because he is out for a walk. Now if you spend cash, people think you're shady. If the police catch you with more than a few hundred, they will assume crime is involved and without trial can seize your funds, and you may never get it back.
Well if you live in the U.S. and are black then this isn't too surprising.
MamaTR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Run home semi drunk from bars all the time when I leave alone. It gets me home quicker, sobers be up (at least the adrenaline makes me feel more sober) and I work off a few beers.
I once went a maternity store with the intention of emptying my extremely full bladder and couldn't find a men's bathroom. Ended up running back to my car in the parking lot, driving a 1/4 mile to another store (responsibly but with haste). 2 police cars pull up right behind me as I find a parking spot. My friends were in the car. The cops thought we had stolen something from the maternity store because apparently kids had been known for stealing diapers from that store. Had to sit in my car for what felt like another 10 minutes waiting for them to check out our IDs. Finally made it to the store and relieved myself.
I've done the same exact thing, with similar results. However, the police actually thought someone was chasing me. Slightly buzzed, I ran in place while assuring them that no, I was perfectly safe, no one was following me, I lived nearby, and I just enjoyed running.
haha I was running to help me get in shape and I was doing the whole run so far then walk so far routine and I happened to be right at the end of a walk part and just start running as a police officer is going to pass me in the street I was running alongside. The bastard pulled me over and got right out of his car, asked why I was running, I started laughing and said because Im fat and want to get into shape. He kind of stood there for a second then I explained to him that Im exercising and he apologized and got back in his cruiser and drove away. I wanted to be mad but just couldn't, the timing was just perfect.
I don't doubt this story at all. I was also approached by police after a nighttime jog. Cop kept reiterating how "most people don't excercise at night".
Not only did I get rubbernecking police officers, but a drunk patron yelled "run forrest run!" last time I ran a couple blocks in the city.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I too ran home from a party at like 3am, after drinking 4 bottles of wine and smoking about 60 cigarettes.
I got home and thought I was going to have a heart attack, 5 miles running flat out and I hadn't ran anywhere in years. 2 hours later my heart had slowed enough for me to breathe normally and I went to bed.
Halfway on the run though I was just thinking "Shit, this must look dodgey as fuck"
I step of the train when going home from the pub and I just run home with music in my ears. It's euphoric, the night air filling your lungs and the music is so soothing. For some reason I get so energized it feels like I can run forever!
And I always have a smile on my face when doing this. Luckily I haven't met anyone on my way home, that would be really creepy for the other person.
Now take the number of accounts on Reddit, which is around 36,000,000. Divide that number by 365, which gives you 98,630 (we will round that to 100,000). Now we can work out that there was a 1 in 100,000 chance that the person you just replied to was Mike.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats wrong. Birthday probability is fucked up. Look up on wikipedia and you'll see.
But Mike is a fairly common name, plus the (vast?) majority of Redditors are men, so I'd say there was a slightly better chance of him finding a Mike, tho not necessarily the Mike
As a medical student, I can say that I have learned in lecture that the RDA for vit D is pretty low, and people can perhaps benefit from higher levels. However, I can't say that excessive sweating was a clinical feature we were taught to look for. However, I have heard it from non-reputable sources.
Omg. I recently found out my vitamin D is ridiculously low and months of prescription strength supplements hasn't brought it up. I start sweating if it's above like, 75 degrees. My head and face sweat the worst so I can forget about doing my hair or makeup for 6 months out of the year.
Oh my gosh! Me too! My husband thinks I'm crazy, but if I don't keep it at like 72 in the house I start sweating profusely. Especially my face! I'm gonna try taking vitamin D supplements.
Or hiperhidrosis. My NCO in the Army has it, he'l could be butt naked in the snow and still have nice beads forming all over his Hotspots and his face.
0Lezz0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait. so, hiding from the sun makes me sweat a lot?
I didn't know about the Vitamin D deficiency thing, but I'm going to assume it's much more common that it's just his natural biology.
If you're a medical student then you know infinitely more than I'll ever know, but because I know nothing, I feel like I can step back and look at it with only logic and nothing else. No offense intended.
noholds ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 20:03:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat just standing in a line sometimes
Fuck me. I hate that. I'm in T-shirt and shorts and everyone else is wearing sweaters and jackets. And I'm the only one sweating.
Exactly! I live in D.C. Seeing all those non-sweaty ass people with their smug, "look at me I can wear a three piece suit in 80 degree heat" looking faces... Jerks.
I hear ya buddy. I HATE dressing up for this exact reason. My office is 68 degrees at all times, and when I have to wear a dress shirt and tie I know it's going to be a long day. Wish I could wear shorts to the office.
Wow thanks for the link, I had no idea it was that common.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:10:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been putting off going to see a doctor about this forever. But it's getting to the point where it seems I can't do anything without breaking a sweat - sometimes it doesn't even make any fucking sense. Embarrassing and annoying to the point it degrades my quality of life because I don't want to go anywhere.
Not sure if yours is that bad but hope you can find some help regardless.
I used to be like this. I would sweat constantly throughout the day. Not overweight, just a sweaty female. Tried the clinical strength deodorant, didn't work. Getting dressed was such a struggle because I always had to think about whether what I put on would show sweat or not. Got prescribed anti-anxiety medication and it went away like magic! It's weird too because I never realized my sweating had anything to do with anxiety!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:19:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I suffer from social anxiety too. I've had the sweat problem my whole life so I don't think it's directly related but one certainly spurs on the other. Not a good combo as my face can go from desert to waterfall in like a minute.
I know exactly what you mean. And then you get trapped in this positive feedback loop where the more you sweat the more self-conscious you feel, which causes you to sweat more. I hope you find something that helps!
I recently just got prescribed some medicine for my sweating problem. I've been researching for months and have tried everything. Look up Robinul or glycopyrollate. It changed everything
I can't wear light colored shirts because of how much I sweat. I have to keep deodorant with me at all times because I'm a hairy guy and I'll get funky quick if I don't apply it regularly during the day.
One trick is to wear an undershirt but then the problem is that the extra layer adds heat. I always preferred the extra hit to totally and obviously soaking a shirt.
A couple months ago my doctor gave me something called terazosin. It's not specifically made for sweating but it's definitely helped a lot. I still sweat when active, but the threshold for when it starts is much higher now so no more sweating when just standing in line at a store.
Ive been meaning to see a doc for a while. I do wedding videography which is very physically demanding and I sweat buckets. Sometimes Ill be just standing still and start to sweat. I started calling around yesterday to see if any local derms have treated it
God I hate that. Try moving somewhere arid if you can. I'm the guy that sweats at 78F in Virginia. But in the California desert at 100F, I was cool and dry, while everyone else complained that they're hot.
it probably also has a lot to do with the environment you live in. I live in SE texas and it's essentially the goddamn amazon jungle (and i SWEAT), but when I go to Colorado I'm usually pretty dry (as far as standing around sweating)
I'm so glad to hear that my almost constant sweating isn't weird, and that other people have the same problem.
saab121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't work out without people thinking I'm on steroids (not muscley at all) but my body temp shoots through the roof at any sign of physical exertion and I sweat like a bitch
My best friend, the star of our cross country team, sweats more during an evening of video games than on a 5 mile run. It always catches the rest of us off guard. We're all having a great time playing zombies or whatever, then you glance over and it's just pouring off of him
I'm 6'1" 145lbs. I'm always sweaty. It pisses me off to no end. Especially my clammy hands. I constantly wash them because I hate them feeling like that.
It feels good to know I'm not the only one. I can't get across a parking lot to my car without sweating here in Georgia during the summer
McKRAKK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having grown up in the high desert of northern Utah, and moved to the Deep South with all the humidity, I sweat buckets just sitting in a chair on the porch. More so than the "native southerners". At work, everyone thinks I'm on the verge of a heat stroke because of my sweating, since profuse sweating is supposedly a sure sign dehydration/heat exhaustion/stroke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just sweat sitting in class sometimes but then other times when I've been outside doing tennis or something for two hours I hardly sweat at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this for some reason too, like if I'm in a line at the cash register and there are other people, I will just sweat like I'm running a marathon. I don't know why
It is a curse. If my body temperature rises past a certain degree, I just sweat, no matter what. It could be the dead of winter, but if my coat is too warm, I'll sweat. Holding hands with girls makes my hands sweat. It sucks.
Holy shit!!! Me to! I was in this line and it was hot and sunny outside. I was getting sweaty back and I wasn't wearing underwear (big mistake) and I started getting sweaty lower crack/taint area.
This line was for a shower though.... And I definitely did lots of drugs n drinking the night before.
Trying being able to sweat easily AND leaving in a tropical country AND wearing a suit.
I DO NOT DESERVE THIS HELL! WHY GOD WHY??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a slightly larger guy, which obviously means I sweat slightly more than others but I'm not unfit. .
But fuck me, if I even get ever so slightly warmer than room temperature the amount of sweat I give off could drown a small child
Tvix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to buy and try on clothes is like the bane of my existence. I went to buy a suit the other week. Went for the spare t-shirt I had in my car half way through because of it.
Alidooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat just sitting at my desk at any heat above freezing cold. I am not well suited to warm climates...
I was in terrible shape until a few months ago when I started running (software developer and a computer science student, so I spend tons of time sitting at computers). Now that I'm in better shape I actually sweat less easily, but still a lot.
I sweat buckets when sedentary. There's no hope, sucks donkey balls when I have to do anything with my hands.
My guitar strings will literally rust within a short period of time if I don't lube them up with Vaseline or something before putting my clammy palms on them.
It's mostly my hands and feet to be honest, and the typical underarms. Those sweat excessively, but everywhere else is relatively normal - which is unfortunate, because I'd much prefer chafing to having to wipe my controller/mouse off every few minutes.
I used to be a fat lard and always attributed my easy sweating to it. Now I weigh roughly 15% less and am much more fit but I still sweat easily. It really is a curse.
Hey I sweat tremendously. But since I work out at the gym, I hardly ever do sweat anymore doing less intensive tasks such as walking or jogging. Even in 30 degrees celcius weather. That's like 90f
I started running a few months ago (up to about 3 miles per run at this point). I find I sweat less easily, but still sweat a lot. Its humidity that does it to me, even if its like 78 degrees (like it usually is in my house) I'll have swamp ass going on just sitting at my computer lol.
Naf7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible to both be "not fat" and "not have cardio".
Being thin doesn't mean you magically have better at cardio, it only means you aren't doing cardio with an excess 200 pounds on you.
I started running a few months ago and while I do sweat less easily, I still sweat more than most people. I just got done running 4.5 miles about 45 minutes ago so, I have cardio. I was doing it with excess of 200 pounds until last week, down to 198, but I'm also 6'2" so its not such a heavy weight for me. I just sweat very easily, even if I'm just sitting on my computer.
I am not fat but sweat a lot too. I have learned to adapt.. Dark shirts. Baby powder on my man-jewels. Gold bond powder in between toes. Everyday. Feel fresh all day.
I'm from the united states, but my heritage is: 25% swedish, 25% norwegian, 25% english, 12.5% irish, 12.5% scottish. So genetically I come from colder places.
I was in London the other day, on the hottest day since records began or something like that. The financial district is all glass and steel, so it gets hot quite quickly at ground level. I moved 2 boxes of glasses from afunction we had, and I was drowning in sweat.
Girl I'm majorly crushing on comes up: "Oh, have you been for a run? In this weather?"
I read somewhere (and you shouldn't take my word on this, I'm just some random asshole on the internet) that when you first start getting into shape your body actually starts sweating more easily because it anticipates greater exertion.
Same here, the 85 degree 80% humidity we've been having lately don't help either. I commute on a bicycle and I have to bring a change of clothes and show up 15 minutes early to work so I don't look like a mess everyday.
Me too. I'm a highly active person and am in great shape but if I run or exercise for a short time I start sweating everywhere.
It's weird because I don't sweat heavily during the day or even when it's hot out.
My body is so used to going to the gym for physical activity that whenever I move faster than normal my body responds like, "work out time? YEAH BEAST MODE." And I'm just like "Noooo body! These are normal stairs not the stepper!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you might have hyper hydrosis. I have it and I get so fลซcking hot so easily why did autocucumber do that the fucking price of shit
Remember in high-school, after gym, you had to go to your next class and sit in a chair? Did you ever try to get to class a little early, so you could find that special chair that didn't show the giant ass sweat stain that would inevitably be revealed at the end of class when you stood up? Good times.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You will ALWAYS sweat in Florida though :/
Seth711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you'll stay all sweaty too thanks to how god damn humid it is all the time.
See I use to be a fat lard. Now I'm a slightly overweight but much more athletic lard. I still sweat just as much as I use to 80 pounds ago. Da fuck...
Garbaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite here.
I once played badminton for 5 hours straight and didn't even have a single stain on my shirt (I don't wear any special sports clothing. Just a regular cotton t-shirt). I sometimes get told some annoying comments sometimes when I leave after hours of sport without changing.
In case somebody is wondering, I'm 17; Well past puberty.
I'm the same! I'm from the southwest. It's 110ยฐ out during the day, and I love the heat. I can run all day in a t-shirt and jeans, but I never sweat. It's odd.
That makes me jealous. I can work up a sweat just cleaning a room or doing the dishes, most of the time. And my university has some buildings that are way too hot in the winter, so I end up having to take my glasses off because I'm sweating so much.
And when I played badminton at your age, my hair would be soaking wet after a single game.
I know of no one that doesn't sweet afger running (ubkess were talking super short distance). I wabt to see this anomaly (also tell them to be carefull if overheating)
Caneiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I'm from a climate in which it's pretty hot for at least the summer months and you can't sit outside without sweating let alone do some sort of physical activity.
Bring a change of clothes, and exercise more, get in better shape.
8_ball ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:24:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in great shape. Not a competitive runner but can easily complete 15k runs, recently did a tough mudder, lift twice a week, play soccer once a week, surf occasionally. That is not my problem.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cbaus5 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:05:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend has been dragging me around the mall for hours, I am not walking up the magic stairs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I was always under the impression that they're suppose to make it easier and faster for you to get up the "stairs" Not to give you a free ride.
Just like how airports have moving walkways. Its not for you to stand on. Its to help you walk faster!
While I don't disagree with you on the running side, cumming on a doorknob is a "normal human function," so I'm not sure that's the best reasoning.
Ryelen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:02:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, and it's wonderful. You know what happens? Nothing, MAYBE some strangers who I have never met and will never interact with again think less of me, but I say screw em. I don't need their approval it's my hot body and I do what I want.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ikr? Some redditors baffle me
fruxzak ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:19:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just throwing this out there. It used to be that men in ancient Jewish society didn't run (unless in a dangerous situation etc), because it was considered childish. Western culture may have kept some of that stigma without really knowing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or there's a stigma against getting sweaty and smelly.
Egads, do people make a big deal of this? I run because I enjoy the energy. I'm that weirdo at work who runs to the bathroom or to the office kitchen and I dance while I wait for my coffee to be done. I know it's not "normal", but no one has ever acted like it was bad.
yeah same goes for me. if I'm in a hurry trying to get from point A to point B, the faster way between walking leisurely and running is obvious. but when I do this, everyone freaks out. I guess they assume something is run if I'm not strolling lazily. welcome to America.
SiTing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My guess: it (possibly) shows a lack of foresight on the part of the runner.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
OR: Running everywhere is a more efficient manner of traveling on foot, both physically (humans are literally built to jog for long distances) and time-wise and this person who chooses to run everywhere is saving precious minutes that can be used to answer phone calls, send emails, and in other ways organize their life since they're early too or can leave later for an event without being distracted by doing so while walking or letting these tasks pile up.
bimyo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:28:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, running every where is for nerds. It just is. If you can't chill out and watch the world a bit and have to run everywhere than you a have a screw loose or need to join the marines. By the way, Humans were not "literally built" to do anything because humans were not built. It's an ongoing process of selection an evolution etc. Just don't run everywhere like a four year and expect people to think you are someone they want to be around.
muddlet ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:59:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes it acceptable is your attire. Running your errands in workout clothes? Provided you're not running a store it's normal. Heading home from work in your jeans and t-shirt? That's where people start to think you're weird.
estvik ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's heavily regional. I've been stopped for just walking too far in some towns, others you pretty much take it as a given that people are going to be running for whatever reason. I think public transportation factors in a lot as well. People running to catch the rail normalize it a bit.
Cold is overrated. The temperature itself is not so bad where I live but factoring in wind it chills right through any porous clothing and makes you want to tear your face off and burn it to stay warm. It's better in the summer to be further from the equator though, 25ยฐC warm and not insanely humid is pretty much perfect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My general rule of thumb is as long as the temperature/weather doesn't physically hurt it's not too bad. People like cold, nobody likes frostbite, for example.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:49:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know what's more efficient than running? Skipping like a little girl. Ever tried to skip 1 mile? 2? I have. It's hard work but I think it's more effective.
I can never get my skipping pace right. I've been perfecting bounce-running, however, which is exactly what it sounds like. It's where you jump a little with each stride. I feel that it's just as efficient as skipping.
estvik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree with you. I haven't tried long distances, but I think it would be a nice way to move around.
Dude that was my life until I moved to a place without humidity.
I originally lived in the swamps of DC, the moved to sunny SD.
I could run for a mile in San Diego and barely show a drop. The same temperature would have me drenched before I walked to the end of the street in DC. Dry heat, it was fantastic.
Where the hell is it socially unacceptable to run in public to get to places? I can't believe that this isn't bullshit.
At most, people might smirk a little at your plight because they're dicks, but I don't even spare a thought to the guy running by me on his way to work, and having been that guy have never noticed anyone paying any attention to me.
Maybe this works for some people. I'm in a normal weight range, run 25 miles a week and there is absolutely no speed that I can "run at" for any length of time and not at least be sweating up my shirt.
I recently realized when I'm alone I jog, bounce and run everywhere. I get places much faster and its good for my legs but I've been doing it subconsciously for years.
I run around NYC now instead of using the subway, it takes longer but it doesn't really bother me. It's kind of funny how people will stare at you as you jog/run around the blocks.
I didn't even know this was socially unacceptable at all. I'm a fast walker but that's because I'm traumatized from being a child of a tall woman telling me to keep up or I'm being left behind. She even drove off while I was half way in the car and I was thrown out and she laughed. I was 6.
Likewise I've heard people get made fun of at work for stepping away from their desks and dropping for 20 pushups or 20 squats. What's so weird about that? It's good for you to do every so often.
Millions of people practice getting better at running every day. But yet you'll get looked at weird if you run to utilize time. If I'm going to run every day to get better at running, I should be allowed to run when I need to run!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone assumes that you're attempting to escape a natural disaster or a maniac.
Rayne37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you there. I'm one of the younger people in my office and I tend to bound up stairs because why the fuck not. Every time somebody sees me do it, I get a comment to slow down, or ask me why I'm in a rush. Psh I'm sorry after sitting 8 hours a day I have energy to burn.
Oh man...back in college there was this kid who ran EVERYWHERE. When he got outside of a building, he'd tuck his violin under one arm, his laptop under another, head down, and just take off. Quite the sight.
Yes! sometimes i get so impatient walking that I just start running. Problem is I tend to get really hot and start sweating very easily so I have to be careful with it.
THANK YOU! Tell that to the old lady working at the convention center.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still think this is totally not okay.
The only people I see running in public are these horribly cringey people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since I've started to get in shape, I do this all the time. I run across the street so I don't keep cars waiting (after I've stopped and made sure no one's going to run into me) as a rule, but I've also run home after picking up take out, or to go pick my son up from something. Usually only do it if I'm in a little bit of a hurry, otherwise I don't bother, but I enjoy it. I live in a place that doesn't get very hot though (72F high today), so that helps with the sweating. I basically don't worry about it, whatever my speed.
Oh man! Sometime in college I had this epiphany while playing video games (I think it was Ocarina of Time): I can get to class WAY faster if I just jog. I mean, if I walk places in video games, I get super frustrated by how slow I'm going and always default to running. Who the hell walks anywhere in video games - NO ONE. Why is this any different in the real world? So I said fuck it.
10 years later and I'm still running places. Not all the time, and not generally with people (unless I've been drinking - believe it or not you can pretty easily convince anyone that's been drinking that it's cool to "just jog there"). So much time saved!
PS - I'm ok with getting a little sweaty.
Abomm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there is no around you, why would anyone care. The problem is that if everyone does it, crowded or semi-crowded places become a mess.
There was this dude in high school who used to run to all his classes. He would even run when he would arrive to school as well as when he was leaving school.
I do this, but only when I'm drunk. Like "ok, I'm heading home from the bar, I could wait for the bus or... fuck it I'll just run there" (where I live, running is usually faster than the bus)
As a former lifeguard, every time I see someone running in public, my asshole involuntarily clenches.
MrBookX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to walk 4+ miles to work every day. I had to leave the house around 3:30 am. When I told coworkers this they seemed amazed, which is weird because our job entailed being on our feet for 8-9 hours at a time. I used a pedometer once and found that at work I walked around about 10 miles per day.
I would run at the speed that I'm not going to sweat.
I'm in Florida. I didn't know this was a thing.
Deako87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I do this now. I now leap up stairs two steps at a time and if it looks like I'm going to miss a set of traffic lights (Happens alot in the city) Ill sprint to make it.
There was a mentally handicapped person at my high school which did this. He ran from class to class or where ever he was going. However, I saw on more than a few occasions, him run into someone else and I think that's why the public doesn't really approve of it. It may get YOU there faster but it's too high risk for those around you.
I mean, we do it all the time in videogames if you want to get to the next town or objective quicker, right? I wouldn't mind a quick sprint to get somewhere in half the time. Sweating would be a bitch, though.
Hah, I always think of how in GTA I'll smash that run button like it's your mother but then in real life I somehow pretend to not care about getting to places as quickly as possible
The other night I was heading to work and realized I forgot my phone, so I ran back home to grab it. A black guy across the street said to the girl he was with "look at that white boy running". I had a hard time running and laughing after that.
I'm not the only one! Seriously... I don't know if I just have a lot of energy, but I could jog everywhere. Sometimes I wonder if it'll change as I get older but I want to run all the time at 28.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, running in public is socially unacceptable? Since when?
Skipping. So efficient, so looked down upon until you're 5.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's literally painful for me to slow down when walking with slow walkers. I'm a fast walker. I have to put in significant conscious effort to walk slowly. Half the time I walk so quickly that I just spontaneously break out into a jog.
Catching a bus always makes me feel like I'm stealing my own wallet or phone that I have in my hand because they making running more difficult while in tight jeans.
[deleted] ยท 5091 points ยท Posted at 14:12:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence.
People always try and fill the silence, just shut up, it is fine. I seriously don't care if we are sitting in "awkward silence" for twenty minutes, it isn't awkward to me at all.
stmk ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:05:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's where we draw the line? I mean it's not the sensual pantless dancing, it's the chewing with your mouth open that got you. Actually on second thought you're making some sense. LET THE DANCING BEGIN.
To me small talk is a way to take up time and share a semi-pleasant conversation with people. That's what you all were doing. The point of the conversation was understood by everyone, but it was played out anyway.
"So how's the weather."
"Same old same old."
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And did you notice they label the peanut bags "May contain peanuts"?
In defense of the weather-based small talk: it's a part of your daily experience that is universally shared, different from day to day, and often impacts several of your decisions and mood throughout the day. It can potentially spark conversations in a variety of directions and each person can have a different perspective, but still generally agree.
I'm no fan of small talk generally, but it's sometimes necessary. When that happens three are worse topics out there than weather, like sports.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guy who has can function without being a tool- "So what do you think of the weather?"
Me- "Haha, yeah! nods head
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:59:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, I always see this on Reddit. Small talk is the bridge you have to cross if you want meaningful conversation.
"How about that weather man?"
"Oh, you know. It's hot, but it could be worse. I've spent some time in the South and it's not so bad up here."
"Oh? What were you doing there?"
"I was in the Army for a little while, and I've traveled in Asia a little bit too."
Then there's a conversation! I could talk about what I did in the Army, what it was like when I was in the South, what Asia was like, if they've traveled, if they have family in the military, where they've lived, what they've done, etc. You can actually build a connection and a relationship off of that. Sitting in silence with someone doesn't help you connect with them- you won't learn who they are and how they became that person. If you want to really be close to someone, you need to start somewhere. Embrace the small talk. It's like panning for gold.
Maybe they're offering you a weatherman. You should respond, even if only to say no thanks.
Kepgnar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THE WEATHER, I SAID.
HOW ABOUT IT?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually try to talk to them about the silence if I sense they don't feel comfortable with it. It sort of eases them a little and I notice them contemplating what I said next time we hit silence. Mostly they don't hang around after that second silence.
davis98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Xan: "So what's the deal with custody?"
Divorce lawyer: "Right? What is the deal with custody?"
Xan:
Divorce lawyer: "Oh you were serious?"
Are you saying you are confused by the concept of weather, or that you simply haven't experienced the recent weather and therefore can't talk about it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I'm fine with silence, but thats an awfully odd response to small talk. It doesn't make things more awkward. unless you're just awkward.
Don't you hate that?
Uncomfortable silences.
Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
I fall too deep into that sometimes though, like with someone I want to talk with. I'll let the silence happen, but then it gets built up in my head that the next thing I say has to be gold since I waited so long to say it.
claryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I think sometimes its situational. There are many times silence is fine with me, but occasionally there are times when I want to talk to someone but have nothing good to say and they aren't really giving me anything and being silent is just as awkward.
Or if I just met someone and want to make a good impression, sitting in silence isn't really selling myself well. Someone called me a bitch to my face after I had had a few encounters with them and they thought "I believed I was too beneath them to talk to them."
nah, awkward silences are bad. If you can avoid them it makes time pass longer for people waiting for something or a car ride etc. It's enjoyable. If you shut it down and someone keeps it going again and again when it's obvious that they don't want to then that's just bad reading. Usually you can enjoy a conversation with a stranger and it's actually fun and okay.
like you guys. If I notice you guys are not into it, then I move on and don't force it. Forcing it is the bad part of awkward silences.
toresbe ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 22:21:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two Finnish friends from childhood meet for the first time in over a decade. They decide to go out to catch up, and order two vodkas.
After a few minutes, one guy says "so... how have you been?" - the other looks at him and asks "did you come here to drink or did you come here to talk?"
pasta755 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:29:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Damn, I must be Finnish as fuck. If I don't have anything to say, I just watch what's going on around me. It throws people off all the time. Like "Sorry I don't want to fill the air with conversation neither of us wants to have".
Yep. Anyone who goes on Twitch knows "Suomi perkele torilla tavataan"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like how swedes are all super progressive and polite in real life, and then online, they're the biggest troll douchebags around? I've lost count of how many swedish e-sports teams/players have been banned for bad behavior.
order65 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, Allu seems calm as fuck as long he can drink the Red Bulls.
2capp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:20:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone mentions companionable silence I think about the Top Gear episode (s12e03) where James May goes to Finland. They made it humorous to watch him sitting there with someone's grandma or something just hanging out in their living room not speaking but the idea that you don't have to fill a room with talk always appealed to me at a base level.
i always wondered why is that? why try to say something when you dont have anything to say. i can drive with my buddies in the car and listen to the radio and we dont say a thing unless someone remebers something or has something to say.
Swedes are considered "the Americans" of Nordic with the constant irritating small talk, but I'd guess Norwegians, Danes and Iceland-ians (?) are almost as silent as us.
I decided when I was 8 years old I was going to live in Finland one day..everything I hear about it just bolsters that conviction a little more... I really don't mind not taking to people I'm hanging out with, if anything it's just annoying when nobody has anything to say but they persist with small talk just to fill silence..
God yes. I like my breaks at work to be quiet before I have to go back out and deal with customers. One of my coworkers does not stop talking. She could walk into the break room, see me sitting there and just start talking about her stupid shoe racks or something else that has nothing to do with me. Not even a "hello" or warm up. Straight into whatever pops into her head. She will keep going on forever, even if I don't say anything. It is maddening.
My family and some friends recently took a small vacation to go to King's Island amusement park. When we went there, we got a nice cabin to stay in .We had a day that we spent "camping" at the cabin as well (really we just hung out outside the cabin, went swimming, or played football in a nearby field) and at the end of that day, we were all sitting around a campfire. At one point everyone stopped talking and was just staring at the flames or looking at the stars. It was such a peaceful and serene moment that lasted for maybe 30 seconds before my aunt pipes up and goes "Wow, awkwaaaaard!" and my uncle said "Shut up and enjoy the moment Nikki"...which sparked an argument that ruined the night before everyone went to sleep. I really want to go back to that place and have one of those moments again.
As a Finn I was expecting this story to be about at least 1 hour of silence, but 30 seconds of silence being something unusual? Note to self: never, ever visit America. I'd go crazy if less than a minute of silence is considered awkward. Finnish campfire etiquette is something like 90% silence, 10% talking.
Karzoth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:03:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin Nikki xD
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:41:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NeoCoN7 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:47:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few years ago I was sitting in silence with a friend at my flat. My fiancรฉ walked in and commented that it was weird.
My friend turned round and said "it's not weird at all, in fact it shows how close we are as friends that we are that we can sit in silence together.".
I was really pleased because it showed that she and I were actually good friends despite me meeting her through my fiancรฉ only a few months before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend and I used to say that all the time.
Same with when we would argue passionately about something.
One time, it was going kind of long and a girl that was with us was like "Whoa, whoa guys, calm down.", and we both just looked at her like she was nuts, and went "We are calm. This is how we always argue. We can violently disagree about something without it ruining the friendship"
Usually when I try to fill silence it's because I like and want to continue talking to a person not because I feel awkward. Small talk leads to big talk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:53:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried telling them that during my interview!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially in the car??? I actually much prefer that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about that. I took a long car ride with my SO awhile ago, and if she hadn't been talking to me the whole time I would've been bored out of my skull. It actually made the car ride enjoyable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I was in a hospital for 4 days recovering from surgery, (I'm under 18 so I needed a parent to be there the hole time) and my dad was talking non stop.
This for me. I don't mind sitting in the quiet. If we're going to talk I want it to be something of substance, I don't want to listen to inane commentary, or as I call it narrating. My MIL and oldest kid are so bad about narrating. "Speed limit is 55. Oh look...a horse! Refi your mortgage for 2.1%, that seems like a good deal. Oh they have Minecraft toys here. There are a lot of people here today. Wow traffic is really bad right now. etc etc etc"
Will you PLEASE Shut the FUCK up if you can't actually talk about something!??!
I can't have silence. I constantly have to making some kind of noise. Firstly, because I have epilepsy and if I go quiet and people are around they get nervous and think I'm having a seizure. Secondly, I fucking hate silence.
Maybe that's because you equate not feeling the need to talk every opportunity with social ineptitude? Or maybe all your quiet friends ARE socially inept, shit dude idk
not every opportunity, but if you're relatively new acquaintances, then yes, there is a burden of keeping a conversation going. presenting yourself in the best possible light should be on your mind, and if it isn't it's less likely that it's because "you're real" and more likely that you don't have good social awareness/aptitude.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, having this burden must be awkward as fuck for you.
presenting yourself in the best possible light should be on your mind
Except this is subjective. If I was eating with you and you kept asking random questions just for the sake of it, I would find you extremely annoying (and I would not see you "in the best possible light").
absolutely agree. but a good conversationalist doesn't just ask questions for the sake of it. the aim should be to interact in a meaningful way-that is the art of conversation.
I don't know if I can agree with this. Some cultures are simply less chatty. Some people are more introverted. Someone who talks 'at' people (as opposed to 'with them') is not necessarily socially adept.
it absolutely has to do with culture i agree. if the culture is less chatty, then you're perfectly fine. however, in a place like america, this wouldn't pass as socially acceptable. and i agree on your last point too. skilled conversation is the name of the game :)
I went on a first date last night. It was nice, I really liked him and we're going out again this week. There were a few silences though that he kept trying to fill because he was shy and felt awkward. I don't know why people feel the need to talk none stop. It's ok to be quiet and just enjoy being in the company of others.
My mother does this and it drives me crazy. She won't even be fully in the room and will just start going. I can't even say anything because otherwise i look like a jackass. Thank god for ear buds.
This is the difference between someone who is socially awkward and not socially awkward. The socially awkward kid will try to fill the void because to them it seems weird that no one is talking. Then they get stares and feel even worse about themselves.
Interestingly enough, my girlfriend taught me to like this. I have always been a bit of a talker (and to some extent still am) but after being with her for 2 years, I have realized that she is not super awkward, she is just comfortable being quiet without having to say anything. As our relationship has progressed she has become more talkative than before we were dating, and I have found myself being quieter than I was before, and actually enjoying the silence. Being able to just enjoy time together without having to talk is actually kind of nice.
The thing is, if you're hanging out with someone, silence can be a bit awkward if you're not really close to them, watching something, or playing video games. It's sort of a "well if we were going to just sit here in silence, I could have just stayed home alone." thought process. It's a tad uncomfortable for people who hang out with others to socialize rather than just share each other's company.
If it's at work or something like that, then yeah it's fine to just shut the fuck up and mind your own business, but imo in a social setting, it can be awkward. I'm also someone who has trouble shutting up, so just giving you my point of view ha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother does this all the time... except he fills the silence with singing... shitty, shitty singing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Just sitting, hanging out for 10 minutes watching the sky does not require talking. I've had people comment on the silence, and my response is always "It's not awkward. You learn to enjoy silence."
I remember this scene in Voyager between Tuvac and Seven of Nine. They were in a shuttle and she randomly says, "we haven't spoken for 2 hours and 4 minutes" (or something like that) and he asks, "do you find that significant?"
This is my roommate. When I get home from work, my ears are filled with constant words. Like, dude.. Is it alright if I fuck around on the internet in silence or maybe with music for an hour or two when I get home? Is that too much to ask? Every day, there's always some new song or band he wants me to hear, or some story about what happened at his job. What's funny is when we smoke a bit of the ol' wacky tobaccy, he says "I'm sorry, I get so talkative when I'm high." and in my head I'm thinking "no, my friend, you just notice it when you're high."
The time for a polite correction is fast approaching. At first, it didn't really bother me. But when I find myself yearning to be left alone in my own house, there's a problem. But it's difficult to say you need more personal time without sounding like you need more jerk-off time, heh.
I end up driving around a lot, it's just what I do part of my day job. Sometimes friends will come along for the ride to make it less boring. After a couple hours, sometimes we just sit in silence and listen to music or the wind from the car. It ain't bad.
For me it's the biggest indicator when two people actually enjoy each others company. When simply being around someone is enough that neither feels the need to fill the air with words.
There's a woman I work with that will ask "how are you?" every time there is a moment of silence. She finds a different way to word it every time but it's still just filler and it drives me insane.
tulily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence." - Mia Wallace, Pulp Fiction
MrXian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can actually enjoy someones mere presence - words aren't required at all.
The other day I was fishing with my brother and a friend of my brother. My brother would constantly talk about anything, mostly fishing. He had to leave for a good 15 minutes, me and his friend didn't say a single word in the meantime. I felt really relaxed and comfortable because I knew his friend also values a good silence.
TwiZtah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, a true friend is someone you can be quiet with, in silence and it should not feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says "I'm boring" like not having anything to say.
I hate silence, especially if you know the person. Took a colleague from Italy, who came for a few days to the UK office, out to London as he wanted to go. I spoke to him more on the phone in a meeting than an entire afternoon in London. Even getting dinner. Fuck me, talk bro.
Meet up with his friends and he's talking at last! YAY HE'S NOT BROKEN! Then suddenly he goes quiet for like an hour.
I'm chatting to his friends, asking him stuff as well and he's giving me one-word answers.
God.
I hate silences because I can never figure out if it's my or the other person's fault.
Yeah I have a friend I used to work with. We would both be in an hour early and we would just it out side in silence. Him on his 3DS, me reading a book. I really appreciated having someone who I could share company with that we did not have to feel awkward for one seconds brake in conversation. I actually miss that a lot.
If you're sitting and enjoying the silence and someone breaks it and says it's awkward, then they are uncomfortable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're in a conversation and stand there looking at each other for longer than 30 seconds without saying anything, yeah someone needs to say something or just run away.
Similarly, people on phones. Obviously if someone is on their phone the whole time I see them then that's annoying, but it almost never happens to me.
Silence isn't something that needs to be constantly filled and if someone checks their phone every now and then, I couldn't care less.
Also, people who complain about other people being on their phones is just irritating. Let people do what they want. This is not a new phenomenon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my mom. I love to be in silence and she can't stand it. On the way to the gym at 7 am she wants to share every anecdote she can think of from her 50 years of life and listen to her music but I really just want silence.
My brother has always said you know you are really good friends with somebody when you can both sit in a car for an hour and nobody says anything and you're both completely ok with that.
Lapi0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You nordic? We brood in silence all the time and never small-talk
Skayj2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends, when I'm with family or good friends, silence is never awkward, as we're all comfortable enough with each other.
Silence only becomes awkward when you're with people who you don't know very well or see very often.
Amen. I am more than content with not saying anything at all and enjoying the company of someone without the need for bullshit small talk. I know you, these stupid questions can be redundant.
That and my grandparents forced me to be OK with silence, I was always able to be quiet when needed but one day we were drinking coffee, not fast like I was used to, but sipping it and enjoying the quiet and sometimes the sounds of nature and it clicked.
Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
In person I agree with you, but for phone conversations I'm like "30 seconds silence we've got nothing to chat about? alright we can hang up then right? right?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like in the car?
If conversation stops for literally 5 seconds my girlfriend will turn the radio on. My dad will start reading billboards out loud....
I like not having to deliver all the time. Breaks and silence can be just fine. Conversations need to breathe sometimes. It's something our culture feels the need to smother. Watch any talk show from 40+ years ago. Dick Cavett, Merv Griffin, Ed Sullivan, and all those guys were okay with there being lulls. It's uncomfortable from a modern perspective, but it shows we've lost the ability to appreciate silence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree man, and usually I mark the first occasion of that add the time in truly "friends" with someone. We aren't trying to like, keep each other's attention actively or anything, we know we're chill and comfortable being around each other and have plenty of time to hang out, let's just ride to the store with light music on.
At the same time, 20 minutes without talking would have me questioning what it is were supposed to be doing together as friends. Sounds like one of you is pretty boring in general if that was a literal statement.
Egexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still can't get used to this one, as hard as I try. I got into an Uber last night and the silence only lasted a minute. It was unbearable. I hope I can get over it :/
I feel like, as a black guy, this is why we have the head nod/lift. I don't have to hit you with a "Hey, how's it going", because we both know I probably don't care. If I look up, and we happen to catch each other's eye, we nod, then go back to our own business.
I HATE pretending I care about some non consequential small talk just to be "decent".
I have tinnitus so this actually is really annoying for me... Also fans are my hero
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you on that. I used to snowboard and surf almost daily and I had a buddy that I went with. We would sit in the car for an hour without a word being said. He was a great buddy.
I have heard that this is kind of an introvert thing. I'm introverted and one of my old roommates is introverted, and we used to be able to sit in the same room for like 2 hours without saying a word to each other while just doing other things without it being awkward.
Of course, no doubt there are extroverts who do it too.
ZaInT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
[deleted] ยท 766 points ยท Posted at 23:00:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who opens her mouth all the way every time she chews. Bits of food fly out of her mouth with every smack smack smack smack smack of her lips. Its the worst fucking thing ever. And she gets super offended and calls you a piece of shit asshole if you ask her to eat more quietly.
I stopped inviting her over for dinner when we hang out. Now when she comes over, she orders delivery because she never cooks/eats by herself. I can't get away from it.
The worst part is that she's indignant about it. If something I do is gross and offensive, damn right I'm going to thank the person and do something about it
iSancty ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 00:09:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The worst part is that u/UzanameFoLyfe is still friends with her
I don't think that's enough to break contact with someone, but it's certainly enough to limit my time with them
iSancty ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:07:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear if I have to hear anyone slosh a gooey banana in their mouth for more than 5 minutes I'd blow my brains out. My dad does this every time and I just have to leave the room.
I dunno, calling someone (a friend) a piece of shit asshole for asking you to do something is a pretty big reason to not want to deal with skmeone. Maybe it's just me.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:05:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's part of my main social group, and unfortunately I cannot unilaterally decide for my group that she's out. :/
There is one guy in my group that tries to make those unilateral decisions on who is out. What makes me sick is that we let him pull it off.
Now I'm honestly scared of him, it's like he can take all of my friends away.
It's not like we all went zero contact with the guy he wanted out. It's more that now, he's not invited on group vacations, has to buy his own tickets individually to concerts, and doesn't feel welcome at some parties.
It's basically because they have the same taste in women and both NEED to be the center of attention when they are drunk.
edit: I guess I need to elaborate that many of us still tried to include him but eventually he just stopped wanting to come around when certain people would be there. I feel for him because he's actually my best friend and room mate. I understand that he doesn't want to go somewhere he doesn't feel welcome.
I had an ex who did that, yet she would get upset that I kept telling her to close her mouth when she chewed. It was fucking annoying hearing the crunch a few inches from my ear.
I don't think the United States is one of them, which is where I'm from, and I believe the other poster and get gross friend are as well. Otherwise it wouldn't be an issue.
Oh dear god. I have misophonia and just the idea of watching/hearing/being around somebody who eats like that actually makes me anxious. I don't know how you put up with it!
My mom has TMJ that makes her jaw pop with every chew. She eats with her mouth closed and all but I can't stand the pop pop pop pop pop when she eats, she also chews gum a lot. She can't help it and I feel bad that it angers me. I have TMJ too that makes my jaw lock if I open my mouth too far but thankfully doesn't pop.
That's so funny! I'm in the exact same situation with my dad. His jaw pops with every chew due to TMJ, and mine pops and locks (but doesn't drop it) when I open it too wide as well. I wonder how common that is, and if there's a genetic aspect to it?
Do you have a hard time eating tall hamburgers? Sometimes I go to take a bite, my jaw locks, and I have to unlock it and try again. Sometimes I give up after the third or so try and flatten the burger as best I can.
I have an aunt staying with us from Nigeria (we're in USA). OH MY GOD. When she chews gum I want to stick a pencil in my ears. And she clangs her teeth on the spoon when eating, especially soup. My grandmother would have beat me red for eating like this.
It's fucking worse when you ask someone to try eat quieter and they go out of their way to eat even louder, like grow the fuck up you disgusting piece of shit.
My brother does the same thing. I've politely asked him if he could eat more quietly, but he just yells at me for mentioning it. Rage has been slowly building inside of me not only because it is disgusting, but it seems to just piss me off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my dog does the same thing
so annoying.
Caneiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck this if one of my friends did this I'd the them to close there fucking mouth when they eat. It's rude, annoying, and just gross. I don't care if I come across as an asshole, if you do this fuck you and the click you claim.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One thing parents can do if they have a kid (over age 8) who is eating this way is to place a mirror in front of them and have them watch themselves eating. This can be done in a light, fun way and can provide a positive level of self awareness (and wouldn't hurt a few adults to try on their own if they worry they are gross eaters). If she is sensitive but you really want to get some closure on this, film her eating and at a later time show it to her. She may hate you for it, but at least she will see proof of what you are saying and can make an informed decision as to whether she wants to improve herself (or not). And if not, and you are stuck with her, just absent yourself from her presence as much as possible while she is eating.
pagirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
have you told her? At that point it seems like it would help her.
turdzip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a new coworker who does this. No matter what he's eating, it sounds like he's eating a jellyfish with it drizzling down his chin as he starts smacking his lips open and closed.
He also leaves his food wide open on his desk. We never had mice issues before (and I have kept a bit of food in my desk for 2 1/2 years). He caught a mouse in his desk when he's only been here for 3 months!
I don't know why but suddenly it seems like my whole family does this when I remember my parents always saying not chew with your mouth open. I sit there wondering if I'm the only one who still adheres to this rule
Ugh, my friend's husband does this. His table manners are appalling - he talks while he has a mouthful of food, chews with his mouth open, makes loud slurping noises, and worst of all mashes every mouthful of food against his front teeth with his tongue. If you don't think thats gross, run to a mirror and try it - remember to keep your mouth open while you do it!
Oh, and he's a greedy pig too. I'm a slow eater, so if it's a help-yourself meal, I'll finish a tiny portion in the time it's taken him to finish the rest of the dish. I've mentioned this behaviour is not polite, and he has thanked me for the insight into Australian culture, but he soon back-slides. It's truly disgusting to sit with him during a meal - I spend most of the time averting my gaze.
I invited his lovely wife over for dinner tonight, she just texted to let me know that he's coming too. :(
Your friends call you a "piece of shit asshole"? Sheesh. You must be either a REALLY big asshole who can only get friends that merely tolerate you, or you have shitty friends.
Grow a pair of balls and tell that rude bitch to shut her fat pig mouth. Most of us learned to not chew like a disgusting slob before we could shit in a toilet. God your friend sounds horrible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read up on this and have now self diagnosed myself as such. I feel genuine anger and disgust when I hear sounds made by people eating. Not crunching because I can rationalize that but that sound of chewing air, or smacking, or gulping. Basically any sound made by the person while eating that isn't the food being bitten.
tehvee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:59:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I turn up the volume on the TV so I don't have to hear myself eating.
heethar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have had it for 23 years now but didn't know what it was until a few years ago, being that there is still so little we know about the condition. I'm sorry you have to live with it. :( It sucks a bag of dicks.
You should check out the Misophonia Activation Scale, if you haven't already. The link has some great resources, too! Also, if you have any questions about it, feel free to message me!
Reading the scale I'm usually level 3 but have experienced 4. I am self diagnosing so it could be any number of things and I could be wrong but it sounds like me. It could even just be confirmation bias too.
you'll find those in /r/misophonia sometimes, but it's a really helpful thing there. It's made me realize that trigger warnings have their place, especially in niche groups. Of course they're not really necessary in the average setting, but I don't mind seeing them even if I don't need the heads up myself.
Wait. What about loud eating in general like slurping, scraping your fork on your teeth, etc?
I'm normally pretty chill, but once we're eating and there is noise outside of typical conversation, I have to take a moment to collect myself so I don't go apeshit.
It includes a lot of things including breathing, swallowing, snoring etc. Personally a bad one for me is hearing people brush their teeth. I just want to either run away or a scream and punch them in the face
Besides that some people consider it rude it's fucking annoying
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:00:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:22:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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adaminc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:10:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some Eastern and South-Eastern societies, it is considered polite to eat with your mouth open, or to slurp loudly (soup/noodles/etc...), as a sign of respect to the chef.
To be fair, eating noisily is how it's done in Asia
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:54:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, they're here now.
felza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:24:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I've been taught all my life to eat with my mouth shut. I srsly can't deal with people who chew and make that loud chewing voice. I had a friend who does this over skype all the time and for the worse his comp's mic picks up the tiny-est of sounds. Its so fucking loud I can barely hear the game we are playing :/
I don't normally correct foreigners on manners that don't exist where they're from but this is the one thing that I've continually had to correct my Chinese friends on it. A few of them have even agreed with me that it's disgusting.
My boyfriend has a really bad habit of this. He originally did it to annoy his awful mother, but then made it into a habit. I just tell him I don't feel like listening to pornos every time we eat.
I don't feel like listening to pornos every time we eat.
Ohh, he's a moaner. You're a better person than I, I've not asked girls out again after hearing them eat. I can't stand lips smacking, loud swallowing, crunching, and especially moaning. Moaning is the fucking worst.
Like seriously, you're having a fucking orgasm over macaroni? WTF is wrong with you?
I don't care much about eating with your mouth open, it's the sound I can't stand...hearing people eat is disgusting..
I'm ok in restaurants where there's some background noise, but I hate going to people's houses for food.
Even when I was living with people I preferred to eat alone unless we were sat in front of the tv or something.
If it's too quiet I just won't eat, partly because I can hear other people chewing and that's awful, and also I'm aware I can't eat silently and the thought of people hearing me eat puts me off..
indil47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a basic rule: I don't want to hear, see, or smell what people have in their mouths.
I can't even stand people brushing their teeth around me. Blech.
My coworker does this. That mac and cheese stirring noise makes my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, this bugs me so much. And it's even worse when they become mouth breathers at the same time. And then as if that wasn't enough, they try to talk to you!
Coworker has been doing this. All day meetings and he's .......just.... FUCK!
Super nice guy. But for fuck sake just close your damn mouth!
I was raised in a family that all did this. It wasn't even until high school that someone pointed out I did it and I tried to stop. I still do it sometimes out of habit.
Someone else mentioned a lot of Asians do this. I'm no expert, but I believe it's a cultural thing to eat loudly as a sign of respect/complimentary to the chef
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
having a big problem trying to get my 7 year-old to stop this. We warn him at every meal, he stops for a minute or two, then starts up again. i don't know how to make him stop
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to open a can of righteous whoop-ass on you, thank god you were kidding.
Seriously I couldn't care less about that. You could eat naked in front of me chew unrhythmically while farting rhythmically every 2 seconds and it wouldn't bother me as long as your farts don't smell like gorgonzola that you've bought 2 months ago.
I went to Asia and especially in China it was awesome that nobody cared about how you eat. People eat how they want and you feel 100 times more comfortable while eating in a restaurant. The food becomes automatically more delicious than it already is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, like right away? Or after they've finished chewing?
Horrible. I literally refuse to eat with loud eaters. I've had friends where I've told them that they either learn to chew with their mouth shut like an adult, or fuck off around meal time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate chews like a wild horse. When I tell him to fuck off and stop it, he bitches that he grew up that way and can't.
I have a buddy that for some reason must have something to eat whenever we're playing a game, and never mutes his mic while he's doing it. I just want to throw up every time I hear someone chewing.
Psylink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex brother in law used to chew with his mouth open and moan and groan like his taste buds were orgasming. I always wanted to hit him in the face with a brick when he did it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just kicked out my roommate; I told him it was because he stole liquor and made me late for work for the last two months ... But it was really because he eats with his mouth open.
insmek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what man, I get it. You don't like it. It's "bothersome" to you.
But seriously, fuck you.
I can't help that I do this. I don't like that my default chewing state is with my mouth open. I've heard it my entire fucking life, and I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing about it. If it was just as easy as closing my mouth, you don't think I'd do it? This isn't on purpose. It's not meant to annoy you. I'm sorry. I'm just sick of hearing about it.
It's the easiest thing in the world. Just shut your damn mouth and make that your habit. If you think about it each time you eat, it'll become habitual. Look at all the other comments and see how much everyone hates it.
insmek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't read a thing I said. If it was that easy, I would just do it.
Plenty of other people have changed. Clearly you have such a weak constitution you can't do the same.
insmek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't think I've grown tired of hearing about it for more than twenty years? If it was so God damn simple, I would just do it, I promise. It just isn't.
Hubley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha food tastes better for me when I eat with my mouth open so it's always a decision between enjoying my food more, and not being hated by everyone for miles around. I really love food tho so I just say fuck eeeerry one else most of the time.
I met a girl a few weeks back who told me that she has straight up shit herself on multiple occasions for fear of using a public restroom and having someone else hear/smell/witness her shitting like a normal human being. I brought it to her attention that is literally what toilets are made for and she just went "but what if someone smells it before I flush and gags"
whatever, I shit when and where I please so long as theres a toilet.
[deleted] ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 19:44:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell her she just made the internet gag by shitting herself.
So, she can't handle the thought of someone possibly smelling her poop in a toilet, but she's ok with pooping in her clothes and spending the rest of her day smelling like shit? That makes no sense. If I smell poop in a bathroom, I'm not going to bat an eyelid. If, on the other hand, YOU smell like poop when I get near you, that would give me pause.
she'd just rather hold it all day and take the risk of shitting herself than let a stranger know she was pooping in the socially designated manner. weirded me out at first but she's a totally outgoing and boisterous person outside of this.
So I am a female with IBS. I get sudden diarrhea. Public toilets save me. One lady I talked to says she has a travel size bottle of Scope in her purse. She adds it to the toilet water before, during and after. That and a courtesy flush. I courtesy flush, but never thought of the Scope.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:40:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can buy this spray online called poo pourri and it is incredible. You spray it once in the toilet water before you poo and it makes that poo smell like lemons! My friend bought it and it is one of the greatest things ever. I'm sure it only costs about ยฃ2 as well.
How would people not notice that she just shit herself?
Oops someone may hear me pooping in that toilet stall, better just walk around with shit soaking through my pants instead, that is far less noticeable.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:52:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you expect to smell poop in a bathroom. that's normal. pooping yourself is not. if a girl told me that i would now associate her with the image of her walking around with poop in her pants burned into my head for the rest of my life.
I understand a girl not shitting in public if she suffers from constipation or is on her period. Constipation would take too long, and period shits are fucking rank. But if you're gunna be in and out just do it. Poop in public. Mark your territory. Just because you have a pussy doesn't mean you have to be a pussy.
Source: haven't pooped at work for the past week; it's shark week and I'm doing a detox. No one deserves my anal mustard gas.
I was a shy pooper for awhile at work. I got over it. If someone sits in the next stall I'm not holding anything back. I try not to grunt tho that's too much.
I can understand a mild aversion to public toilets. As the OP said, they're gross. The things some people do to public toilets is just weird as fuck. And then you have to deal with imperfect privacy due to how the stalls work, the bathrooms often smell bad, and the toilet paper is almost always that crappy industrial stuff that's thin and rough.
I will avoid it as long as possible. To the point of being very uncomfortable. Even just to pee. The automatic flush going off while I'm still sitting and spraying me is one of many reasons
_Dotty_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even have to have a receptacle. I've shit outside so many times it's not even funny. Just find somewhere that's off the beaten path a little bit. Find a nice tree. Lean up against that bad boy and go to work. Thankfully I usually carry some TP in my fishing gear and I have enough baggies to bring that shit back out and dispose of the paper in the proper recepticles.
snorlz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:25:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats not socially unacceptable though..thats just personally unacceptable for a lot of people
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:41:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the toilet seat isn't wet or smeared with shit, my bare ass is plopping down on it.
When did using a public toilet become socially unacceptable. Are the shy poopers the majority now? Are the social shitters a thing of the past? What is wrong with you people, everybody poops!!
Also, doesn't anyone else get in quite bad pain after a while if they hold it in? If I don't go when I need to I get doubled over by pelvic and lower back pain.
serosis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would not mind public restrooms if they were not so fucking disgusting.
I always find myself having to clean up someone else's shit.
All over in Europe. I spent 9 days in Dublin and got a horrible case of the travelers "backed up brown babies"... I was a teenager and trying to avoid blowing up the hotel bathroom so... Yeah.
My mother would do this compulsively for us until we were tall enough to hover. If she found out I just wipe the seat and then sit, she'd probably have an aneurysm.
One of my friends won't shit in a public toilet. At all. At one point I was his manager and I had to straight up tell him to go home and take a shit. He really had to go and wouldn't go at the restaurant we were working at. I was worried he was going to cause some damage.
This was my sentiment exactly! I've actually taught my oldest child that impolite things happen in bathrooms and people need to get over it because that's what the bathroom is there for. If someone thinks it's rude to shit in a toilet, find out where they'd like you to shit. *my kid has an inflammatory bowel disease
I'm generally fine with them, as long as they look clean. Generally I avoid gas stations and convenience stores, but supermarkets usually have pretty clean facilities that don't require a key. Bathroom keys are something I won't deal with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're not really that gross. Just sit down and take a shit, the seat is probably cleaner than a public bench or a bus seat and it's not like you need to hide the loud eruption - everyones in there to expell waste.
Berjj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I prefer pooping at work. Free toilet paper! Woo!
bbog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, where do you live? I never thought using public toilets was socially unacceptable lol, that sounds dumb just saying it.
I used to have a friend who COULDN'T use public toilets because she would get yeast infections every time she did. I cannot fathom how your vagina can be THAT sensitive that you can't even use a public fucking restroom. I've never once gotten a yeast infection.
I find it shocking that the public toilets have dwindled so much. It's a basic animal function to poop. But you can't poop in public. You can't poop in the public toilet though, because there aren't really any about.
[deleted] ยท 3299 points ยท Posted at 14:46:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say goodbye to the host and close friends who are there, then I'm out. I'm not going to interrupt everyone's conversation just to let them know I'm leaving.
And I hate the goddamned arguments you get "You're going???? Whyyyyy???" Uh, because I have to or want to. 2 or 3 parties like this is how I perfected The Vanish Act.
I've always known (and practiced) this move as the 'Irish Exit'. I understood it came from whenever it was the Irishman's turn to buy a round of drinks, he'd mysteriously disappeared..
But yeah, fuck the party goodbye. A friend of mine refers to it as 'doing a batman'.
Koonga ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:11:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it French Exit where i'm from, but I do like The Batman. I want to make that a thing.
irish exit yeah but the real reason is most irish people are awkward and dont want to make a big scene when theyre leaving as if theyre famous or something
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've also heard that it comes from the Irish slipping out the side door of the church after Mass to avoid long chats after the service.
Sciddaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd heard it as someone who wanders off while drunk and doesn't return to the party
I knew I'd find this term in the reply chain. Thank you
feowns ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:05:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god because Irish people drag out goodbyes forever. I swear I hate dding for my parents because we don't actually leave until at least 30 minutes after the goodbyes start
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:36:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a lot like the Minnesotan goodbye. Always start saying your goodbyes at least 40 minutes before you actually intend to leave.
TVhero ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:13:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
30 minutes? Your lucky, I'm usually there another hour at least
My friend taught me this term! He tried to leave a party once by quietly telling a few people he was heading out, saying he was "doing the Irish exit." So naturally, one of the first people he came up to yelled out, "HEY EVERYONE! ALAN IS LEAVING!"
Of course, this led to everyone making a huge deal out of it and he was stuck with the awful drawn-out goodbye for the next 10 minutes or so before he could finally get out.
The best part came about 45 minutes later when he had to come back and go through the departure rigmarole again because he had forgotten his backpack...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:30:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And literally you're going to say barring "[insert relative/close friend] just got rushed to the hospital" is going to be met with that groaning Nooooo stayyyyyy and then Nooooo you're no funnn.
Way easier to just dip out. Drunk people tend to forget who was there at the end of the night
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For reals though. "Whyyyeeee don't leeeave!" "I'm bored, your friends are boring, the music is too loud, people are doing it in the only bathroom, and you get annoying when you're drunk. Take your pick." I don't want to be a jerk, though, so I just say I'm tired.
"I don't want to listen to your conversation about things I don't care about with people I don't care about in a place I don't care for with people I don't particularly like all around me. And your internet is slow as hell. How do you even use this?"
What I say:
"Yeaah I have stuff to do tomorrow... better get off to sleep."
I actually say this to people, but in a very disdainful and annoyed voice to convey that dread all/most of us have about getting up tomorrow.
"Why are you leaving??"
"Ahh man I gotta go be a fucking adult tomorrow, gaaah"
"hahah alright man, cya later"
Works every tiiiiime.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that is actually a good way to put it. Cool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the-nub ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:16:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know who's really fun at parties? The person who draws attention to people who are uncomfortable in party situations and makes them feel even worse.
They're so fun to be around at parties.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg why do you always leave the party so early!?!? Stay late and get drunk!!!!!!"
kuavi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week I was hanging out with people, wasn't really feeling it, someone said "hey anybody want some food" I just said "yeah I think i have some at home" and walked out the door
mikeet9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's not a vanishing act. You told them where you were going.
It was meant to be, I don't like being in the situation where everyone around me is smoking and drinking and completely ignoring me just because I'm sober. I no longer talk to those people.
still have a reputation from college for being the "Citrona guy" (if you remember the commercials) because i would constantly ditch parties when I got too tired/drunk and would just walk home. Apparently I missed out on a lot of good times but owell.
Also the, I know I'm gonna throw up so might as well get home beforehand.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A third of the time it was crazy as fuck, a third of the time is was pretty what the fuck, and a third of the time it was boring as fuck
mikeet9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who is famous for this. He visited me at college and we were out at the bars, then out of nowhere he was gone. When we got home he was asleep on the couch.
I'm guilty of doing that when I entertain and people start leaving, but its never an arguement. It's just fucking annoying if the first person leaves early, because people are lemmings and follow shortly thereafter. Entertaining is expensive and guests make the occasion possible.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hint: if people are leaving like lemmings, then they were just looking for an excuse to leave anyway.
Nope. I don't force anyone to come, and those that do don't attend because they feel forced. I throw great parties that are always fun. Everyone feels welcome and the food and libations flow freely. The issue is that someone leaving reminds them of the time. Then they remember they're "adults" and blah blah blah. It never fails - someone leaves at eleven, everyone's gone by midnight. The first leaves at midnight, everyone's gone by 12:30. No one leaves until 1:30, everyone's gone by 2am. It's a trigger. People aren't looking for an excuse to leave. It just serves as a reminder that its getting late. Since I'm in my mid 30's now, people are less inclined to just crash.
Friends who I went to HS with used to call med "The Legend", mainly b/c I always just seemed to randomly vanish. Little did they know, they annoyed me quite often. You couldn't have normal conversations; it was just random blurts of nonsense and then awkwardness.
The Legend sounds cool as fuck tho, so I'll live with it.
I think a lot of hosts do this so that the guest leaving doesn't think the host didn't care about them being there (which they probably didn't but it makes them feel good anyways)
'Because I don't like socialising anyway as it drains all of my energy and I've already maxed out my personal quota on one party per year at the most so I'm going now'.
.........is what I'd like to say. Realistically I just say I'm tired.
I wish I could pull off a Bill Murray and give a speech about the groom or bride then everyone cheers and celebrates the whoever while you quietly slip away into the background.
datapye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind this actually.
Shows people they care about me...right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We just want to be sure you feel bad. Welcome to stay, a jerk if you leave. Separation anxiety, most likely. We may never see each other again! Why didn't I ask him to stay?!?!
ryan924 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say I have to take a massive dump and don't want to clog up the host bathroom. Trust me, they won't ask any more questions
oofta31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. If I didn't have to explain myself, I wouldn't mind saying goodbye. It gets pretty ridiculous when I have to lawyer up and have a logical case for leaving early.
Lyeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then the endless 'oh we should catch up sometime.' 'oh yes! Dinner sometime?' 'Sure'
Apparently I've taken a liking to vanishing when I'm drinking. My brother hosts parties somewhat often, and I join in. Instead of saying that I'm going to bed and saying goodnight or goodbye to whoever is still there, I just go upstairs without a word.
wbro322 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends are pretty used to it. If they don't see me for about 10 minutes then they know I've peaced out. I don't know why but i just can't bring myself to say bye at social events.
I don't like interrupting something that's going on where everyone's having a good time. I'm not an Attention Whore, so I am perfectly okay with people looking elsewhere while I creep out.
My family does this. They all live in the same small town within a couple of blocks of each other (my brother actually lives next door to my mom)and I live 2 hours away with my husband and children, so when we come to visit we try to leave around 6 so that we're home by 8 (kid's bedtime). Everyone always freaks out like we should stay until midnight every time. It's like a damn fight just to leave!
gurugnu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite response to this was I shushed them and said "I can't tell you."
You could always say from the get go that you can't stay too long because you'd already made other plans (that way A. You can't be guilted for leaving and B. It looks like you made extra effort to attend). Then, if the party is good, you can decide to stay.
Well, in one case my allergy to the live Christmas tree had me wheezing and my eyes swelling shut. I couldn't breathe. I don't give a flying fuck if they were "enjoying my company" at that point.
That's how The Vanish Act began: I'd have conversations with half a dozen people, laugh, dance, have a great time, and the next day I'd have half the people ask me why I wasn't there. The fuck? We had a 20 minute convo! You don't fucking remember it?? jesus.
That's the socially acceptable one. As long as you let the host know that you enjoyed your time and that it is time for you to leave, then you've been polite. Leaving without any sort of goodbye to the host is the socially unacceptable behavior. IMO announcing your exit to everyone is douchy, but so many people do it, I'm not sure if it's socially acceptable or not.
If thanking someone for inviting you into their home, feeding you, getting you drunk, providing a place to meet hot chicks, etc. is "American nonsense", then I'm even more proud to be an American.
I have a nagging suspicion that most Europeans have a basic level of respect as well, and you're just an asshole.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you call elders "sir" when addressing them.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in a French accent with a "huwh huwh" at the end.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:02:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just shout to the room. "Hey guys, I gotta roll, good seeing you!" and bail before anyone can manage to get close enough and give a hug and parting words and let's hang out again soon and whateverthefuck
Yeah, I think it's important to thank the host for having me, but besides that I just sneak out. Plus I don't want to draw attention to myself carrying all the beer and food I can fit in my arms as I leave
my_love ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I hate those people that have to say goodbye to literally every person attenting the party.
Its mostly just a way to seek attention for people that are full of themselves.
zopiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My "parties" are just some close friends. I still dip out wordlessly half the time.
But maybe that's just anxiety.
ders89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you're generous. I'll dip and text them like, "yo I'm out."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
does someone actually go around to everyone and tell them theyre leaving? I would probably think theyre really self obsessed or narcistic thinking everyone at the party must know theyre leaving.
Saying bye to the host is just good manners since you can thank them for the evening at the same time, and you might as well say bye to any close friends as well so they dont go around looking for you after youve left.
This is how I've always done it. I had no idea doing so was in any way socially unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you're still being socially acceptable. That's not frowned upon unlike just vanishing all together. Because, if ancillary people notice you're gone, at the least the people hosting the part can confirm your departure vs. KabukiBaconBrulee. hth
That's the absolute best way to do it. Making a big scene about leaving can cause other people to start thinking about leaving too. It basically starts a chain reaction that ends with the host hanging out alone cleaning up half eaten cheese trays before 9pm. Way to be courteous. You rock sir or madam.
If I didn't let my friends know I was leaving they would feel responsible for finding me and making sure I was safe and hadn't passed out in a garden or drowned in a swimming pool.
Aside from that I just generally wave "bye" as I stride away.
I have found great success in not interrupting peoples conversation by making eye contact and flashing a peace sign. Unless it is someone I actually want to say a goodbye to(old friend I haven't seen, hot girl who's # i want, etc.) I just flash a peace sign and make eye contact.
You need to have a serious chat with my girlfriend
attrox_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time, my friend and his girlfriend is the first couple to leave early. Ill simply time my leaving after him. People only remember them for leaving early.
I absolutely hate it when people make a big scene when they are leaving. Who cares just go, you're talking over the music or disrupting my conversation.
GeminiK ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:00:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I yell something to the effect of "Yo I'm out, peace." as Im walking out the door. I get some "see ya later" as I'm closing the door. And thats it. I said goodbye, those that cared said good bye I'm out.
[deleted] ยท 2026 points ยท Posted at 15:13:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when you have to say goodbye to each individual person there before you leave. This is proper etiquette in my family. You can't just wave goodbye to everyone and walk out the door. You have to hug and cheek kiss each person. I fucking hate it.
Yeah not to mention you have to say good bye twice in my family.
The first time is when your mom says your leaving. And the second is when you're actually walking out of the door about half an hour later when your mom is finished talking.
Yeah that happened on Grad night.
I had two hours before the busses left for Knott's Berry Farm and we spent 5 minutes getting to a Jack's 30 minutes eating and 45 minutes leaving. That damn place.
buchk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy yeah. I don't even say good bye to anyone until she's at the front door.
She'll come around every half hour to let me know we're going to be leaving at X time and I'm just like "yeah cool, mom. Ill say bye when were leaving"
Only twice? Amateurs. My parents are friends with a couple who, when they leave a party, will stand in the doorway "saying goodbye" for an average of an hour and a half.
Are you me? This just brought me back to 10 year old me every time we left our cousins' house. They're a large family. And they lived LITERALLY 2 houses down from us. Why do we have to say goodbye for 30 minutes when we know we'll see each other again probably tomorrow night for dinner??
"Because its rude otherwise mijo! They're going to think I didnt raise you right"
Or dumb shit like that. I was next door neighbors with my aunt and we would still do the long goodbyes. Even though I would use the ladder to hop the fence and just play in their back yard every day anyway.
Its always fun making the rounds in a small living room with far too many people in it and bumping into everything and everyone. Just so you can get to the older people. Because if you don't say good bye to them they'll never let your parents live it down.
Nephita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And the second is when you're actually walking out of the door about half an hour later when your mom is finished talking"
In my family we call it a Midwest Goodbye. You start by saying you have to leave, one or two people get up, start to walk towards the exit, but then stop to talk to more people. you then have a conversation at the door, outside the door, by the car, once more time as people pile in, and then you finally get to leave.
Dad has 9 siblings, each of whom have multiple kids. Can confirm.
Lyeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It takes a bloody hour. My significant other's family does this and I have to go 'ok when do I really want to be out the door. Ok we have to start saying good by about 45 minutes before that...'
This is really funny for me because I'm the type to just say "Welp, laters!" and leave, but my girlfriend is the exact opposite because of upbringing and personality. It usually leads to me standing waiting for several minutes looking like a jackass while everyone appreciates her sociability. Then when she's done I sling another "OK, byyyeeee" for good measure.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family insists on this also and it drives me insane, I've started just saying personal goodbyes to my grandpa and mom and waving goodbye at the rest, if anyone wants to beat me to the door and get a hug, so be it.
This is exponentially more painful when there's 3 people you haven't spoken to the entire time. Now you have to do the weird awkward hello-goodbye conversation while being careful to avoid the big elephant in the room.
I go in for a hug
"OMG I didn't know you were here! I wish I had seen you sweetie!"
"Well goodbye!"
"Oh gosh yes. I hope to see you again soon" We actually hug
"Don't be a stranger. When do you think you'll be visiting next?"
There for another 30 mins because of everyone I have to have this conversation with....
Reminds me of when i was a kid and i had to do the same or that would be taken as a non respectful act. However i kept doing it even if everybody (incl my parents ) would start yelling and stuff till i proved my method and nobody can tell me anything now.
yup, family says we're leaving...half an hour later we're just barely getting to the door...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you are brown arent you?
cause i can confirm this cause thats the type of shit i need to do to at parties and thats why i stop going to these family parties or staying for them at my house when my parents hosted them as i got in my 20's or so
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm Macedonian but I know a lot of families of different ethnicities have similar etiquette.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ohh ok true say
but ya i totally get you bro and thats why i just dont go to these functions anymore
just not my scene and totally boring too!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:06:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to skip out on some of them but that's a big no no as well. Plus I do like spending time with my family.
This is the way it is with my in-laws. Our exit at the end of our wedding took a lot longer than I wanted. It wasn't okay with them for us to wave at everyone and leave.
This is my family too. One time I forgot someone and that person was butthurt for a while about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
22 years with my Jewish family and I now refer to this as the Jewish Goodbye. It takes my mom and dad at least 20 minutes to leave any family function or party with close friends.
I just yell bye into a room. No one can say I didn't say bye that way. And real goodbyes only to people on my way out bc it is too weird to walk bye and ignore them.
Frictus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same as my family! Ill hug/kiss the host and my grandparents. Everyone else gets a big ol wave and "bye everybody". I am naturally quiet so most people don't hear me anyways.
XSplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Leaving already?"
"Well no. It's just that the Goodbye ceremony takes half an hour. I'm starting it now."
I am very glad you said something about this. Having a large family (10 aunts and uncles and 30 cousins) it can take forever to finally leave it is so annoying.
Yes. And if you're the first one to leave, people are all "What?! Already!?" and then the minute after that first person leaves, it becomes like a race for the rest of us to not be the last ones there.
I think it just depends on whether or not you grew up around it. I grew up late in the previous generation of my family, so everyone was more or less dead by the time I could do cool things.
Going to a big family gathering at a gf's or friend's house was amazing.
Spain? Because I have been in Spain for 4 months now, and it was exciting at first - but now try saying good-bye to all the girls in the group.
Gotta have that double-cheek-kiss
Pugon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! My wife and her siblings have a competition on who is going to be the last to leave family gatherings. Guess they are trying to convince the parents they have the most love. Makes me ill. I frickin hate her family gatherings.
Oh my god leaving the in laws place takes a full hour. I've learned that if I want to be in bed by 11pm we have to head towards the door at about 8:30pm
My wife's family is like this. I refuse to play the game. I make fun of them about it even. So now I wave byyyyyyyyyyyy and just leave and if they do the everyone says good bye thing I just say bye Ian bye bye bye bye hey Ian byeeeee bye bye bye Ian have a good one bye Ian is my wife's cousin, and he's in on it and just says bye jayboosh every time I say bye Ian. Fuck people like this. A wave covers everyone.
Christ, this is the reason why I get anxiety whenever I go to my in-laws house. I grew up in a non-touchy-feely household. Basically just blurt out the word "bye" as you're walking out the door. But now I've married into exactly what you describe. I have to walk around hugging and kissing all the females on the cheek and shaking all the guys hands. Just let me leave for fucks sake.
Yeah, this traumatized me in my overly-literal youth.
I'd be at some social event just counting the seconds until we could leave. And then it would be time to leave!
...but leaving took forever. First you have to say goodbye to everyone near where you're sitting, and then you have to go find everyone else and say goodbye, and then you have to have the goodbye conversation by the door, and then the goodbye conversation at the car...
I went to parties back in the day hosted by eses. When you arrive you have to give everyone the crazy multi-step handshake. When you leave you have to do the same. It was a workout.
Top_Wop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a must in my big Italian family. God forbid you should slight someone and forget to say goodbye.
Particularly if you have a French family. Two, or sometimes four, cheek kisses to each person for hello and again for goodbye. A wave will not suffice.
rawrnnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did I travel back in time and write this? No, that's stupid, I'd remember it. Anyway, future me, what you will eventually learn is that if you wait and extra 5-10 minutes, your kid will get cranky and you can use that as an excuse to just pick him up and announce from right in front of the front door, "Ampersand is really tired and cranky, we're going. Happy whatever!" Works every time.
Same. Dad was one of 12. 28 first cousins on that side and now a bunch of those cousins have kids. I used to get anxiety from it especially when I was real young.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my family like crazy but, we have to make the rounds too. If we tried leaving with a " 'Kay, later, love ya!" That would just be unacceptable!
I hate the goodbyes that take an hour, because you say you're going to leave and then the conversation continues. If I say goodbye, it's because I'm, you know, leaving.
cjluthy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:25:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could just STOP doing that, you know.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:06:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and then have my whole family get on my case about how rude I am and never let me live it down. Do you know how big of an insult it is to Eastern Europeans to do such a thing?
AeAeR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call these "Polish Goodbyes" in my family for this exact reason. You've got to commit at least a half hour to leaving any sort of family gathering.
You guys need a code word(s). My SO and I tried "the look" and one of us always fails to notice. We now go into social situations with an emergency exit strategy.
If it's a small party then we always thank the host for the invite and offer to help clean up. But at a big event (wedding, etc) sometimes it's best just to bolt.
Our decision usually goes like this:
Me: IGB? (Irish Goodbye)
Wife: IGB (nods head)
We both exit the wedding/party. If we pass the host we thank them and tell them we're off, if not we just keep going.
Yeah telling the host goodbye is polite, but I don't see any reason to have to say goodbye to everyone, either. As a kid, I'd be forced to say goodbye to every single person, no matter if there were 8 or 80 of them. The ones I never even said hi to, too. My dad still gives me shit if I just book it at family events.
I have an uncle that just ups and leaves at anything in a group larger than 5 people. Everyone in the family thought it was incredibly rude but I never really cared. Then again, when you go to a family reunion with 60+ people and every single damn one of them (even those you've never met before) expects a hello and goodbye as well as a 10 minute conversation at one point, It's no wonder he perfected the art of sneaking out. I want to do that sometimes too, but I happen to be really bad at sneaking in general (also my dad would kill me if I did that at a family gathering).
i mean, even that's the wrong definition but it's closer than "a reference to literally anything else that exists on reddit." people just like using memetic buzzwords to sound cool, and hate when people call them out on their bullshit.
If people understand the meaning and still find it funny, does it matter? I understand where you are coming from but is using the correct meaning of a word when making a joke important?
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:39:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Different askreddit thread. The one about things that happened to you as a kid and didn't understand until you were older. One person was almost abducted, but the abducter didn't know the secret phrase: Catch ya later, alligator.
nill0c ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After a while crocodile.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I said see you later alligator to my dad and he replied with after while crocodile and it blew my 7 year old mind
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:18:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend and I use code words. Its "when do you work tomorrow?" You answer early if you want to leave as well, some midmorning time if you want to stay for just a bit longer, or say you dont if you want to stay or if you want to put the ball in their court.
my wife and I use a pattern that we can tap on things or each other unnoticed.
the pattern is what I've heard called 'let's go rally clap' - i briefly searched for a link but couldn't find a good example. think of it like 1 2, 1,2,3 or tap tap pause tap tap tap.
i can casually place my arm around her and give a quick tap with my hand without anyone seeing or at least noticing. for us it's the " hey - i'm ready to go, either we exit or I'm uber-ing home' . This doesn't mean sprint out the door but just start wrapping it up.
if it's just me then "ghost" or irish goodbye works too.
People always called my husband and I "fast leavers." For us, "the look" always worked. But, now I have to go to a lot of school and social functions with my daughter; we have a code word that works every time.
Wouldn't it be great if we all had a little personal device that could send and receive text based messages?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this got a lot easier after texting became a normal thing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I have two hand signals: Discreetly tapping your watch, or twirling your index finger in the "wrap it up" motion. The trick is doing them without anyone noticing.
My buddy and I in college had a signal when we went to parties: we would look at each other from across the room, raise our fists up next to our heads, and pull them down like a fighter pilot ejecting, as a signal to "bail out."
My SO of the time and I had a not too uncommon, but specific enough word to signal to the other when we wanted to leave and gathering or event without being too blunt or rude to the hosts - "apricot"
My friends and I have code words for everything. If we're at a party and want to leave early/feel uncomfortable, one of us just mentions how we left the ice cream on the counter and have to head back. Perfect solution for social anxiety.
Sigfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fin2222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always used the "I like your shirt" if I'm in conversation with a girlfriend as being code for "I want to leave". As in if we are in a group of people and she tells me she likes my shirt, I start saying my quick goodbyes to who I need to then we buck.
I dated this girl for a short while and our code to leave was 3 knocks on something or three taps on your glass with your finger or whatwver. It could be a question and an answer so I could ask her if she was ready to bail if we were infront of people and I didn't want to be rude.
My girlfriend and I have nailed the look. It's rad.
Shidell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should adopt the "1-2-3" signal.
One means Yes, Two means No, Three means Go.
You can use it by patting on the back, squeezing a hand, knocking on a table, tapping a foot... once you start using it together, you can use it everywhere, and implement it so discretely that it's difficult to pick up on.
At Grandmas and she wants you to stay for dinner? "Hmm.." and knock twice on the side table you're resting your hand on, next to your drink. Wife quips, "We've got a roast in the crockpot at home, and speaking of which..."
I was told the "Irish Exit" is when you're too drunk to interact anymore so you just leave. The "French Leave" is when you're just too rude to say goodbye.
The Rhett Fantastic, after our pioneering friend who did this at every party, meet up, hang out, get together, social event he was at. He was amazingly consistent and undetectable until he was gone.
Vin436 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i just say say "I better get going" and leave. A few minutes later they ask each other where I am.
My brother refers to it as the "ninja" - if he wants to leave a party without everyone doing the typical "oh no stay for one more drink" etc etc, he'll just leave.
There's some kind of German or other non English word that precisely describes the need to sneak out just as things are getting big, I do this too as well actually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once left like that... People actually looked around the house for me because they thought I had only left the room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is something I hated about my ex. He had to go around and do a chatty goodbye to everyone at a party and could never gtfo of any situation in under 15 minutes. He would end up interrupting half the conversations at a party, one by one, with his awkward goodbye. I would be standing next to the door like "DUDE. They don't give a shit that we're leaving. They're not going to miss us! Just COME ON."
My dad was good at this too. I remember when I was nine he left a family Christmas party without saying goodbye. No one noticed until later that night.
You ever had to deal with Minnesota goodbyes? Your quick and awkward attempt at leaving turned into another 15 minute conversTion
BlueZek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sneak out, but I found a sweet compromise between being able to leave and not being hassled for it. Start going to the door and shout "Yo, I'm out!" while you're leaving.
I just make my way to the door give a general "bye" to everyone, wave in thr general direction from the door and walk out before anyone has anytime to react/respond.
laf10c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is that one person always finishes up their goodbyes, and the other person is still in one, then they finish but the other got snapped up etc... I just say goodby to one or two people and walk to the car... even if I don't have the keys.
R3cko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friends and I call it "Ninja dusting"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father and I work the same. We give a ten minute warning to the people we came with, and they have ten minutes to say their goodbyes. I warm up my car.
We call that the Irish goodbye. We say goodbye to the small group we're talking to, maybe the host, then hit the front door. At least that's the way my family taught me. The other way is the English goodbye.
We have something close in Wisconsin. The "women" will say they are ready to hit the road, and the guys will stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counters, chatting. The men think that they are waiting for the women, and are ready to go because they are standing and can stop their conversation at any moment...and the women think that, because the men are still talking and haven't said "good bye" to each other, that they are not yet ready to leave.
That's cause they have so many damn quirks. They are the only people who still think crocs are in style, they say duck duck gray duck instead of duck duck goose, and they call them hot dishes, not casseroles. Minnesotans are weird.
Edit: apparently crocs are not in style. My sources must be wrong. Or they are worn ironically.
Yeah lived here my whole life and I completely agree with you. Although I have to disagree with the crocs statement. We'll make fun of you for wearing crocs here.
As a Minnesotan, let me tell you why Duck Duck Gray Duck is better. It adds an aspect to the game where you can trick people. You can go around and say, "Duck, Duck, Duck, GREEN Duck" and then they have a moment of hesitation.
It sounds stupid but it makes the game so much better.
Rydian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to run acrosst the street to the store." - The whole acrosst thing bugs me to no end. Yeah, Minnesotan's are super weird.
Crocs are definitely not in style up here, but the rest is accurate. Worth noting that we still say casserole, but hot dish is kind of its own subset of casseroles. Hot dish usually involves tater tots and a few other things.
After living in both I have learned they both think random things are an Iowa thing or a Minnesota thing when both states say it. Such as Minnesota/Iowa nice.
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaaa. This is hilarious. I just thought my relatives missed us and were talkative homey people.
Minnesotan here. It's funny that sometimes you can be having awkward conversation the whole night, until its time to leave. Then you talk converse passionately in the doorway for another 45 minutes.
I'm starting to feel like some of the older generation waits to talk about what they want to talk about until you say 'I gotta go' just to keep you there a little longer.
My cousin got married last week, hopefully I'll get to leave the hotel sometime soon
bg-j38 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:39:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wisconsin Jew here. I remember a time when the family was over, everyone got up to leave, the 20 minutes of goodbyes started, and then suddenly everyone was back in the kitchen having coffee.
jseego ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a traditional Jewish dinner that takes during the holiday known as Pesach, or Passover where we tell the story of how the Jews escaped from Egypt. It is also a holiday where people get together with families, hence the painfully long jewish goodbye
seems similar, but I really cant exaggerate this enough, jewish goodbyes take FOREVER. like, goodbyes for jews means you go and have a final conversation with everyone there, where you say everything you had been hoping to say in a one on one conversation. This repeats with EVERYONE THERE.
Same, Jewish with Minnesotan parents. This is exactly how it feels. You need to start your goodbyes about 10 minutes in if you only plan on staying 4 hours. But then they all start singing and you're there until 2 am.
Radeon3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is good friends with the temple maintenance guy, so sometimes we end up walking out with him like 45 mins after the rabbi has locked up. It's a problem.
Not a bar mitzvah but I experienced this for the first time going to a friends house the other day and his whole family was over. Literally spent half the time leaving. They were crazy. Crazy awesome.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a Jewish mother: can confirm this will happen...
The party isn't over until someone has taken the ice sculpture home to keep for their nephews wedding next year.
My boyfriend and I have a centrepiece from his cousin's wedding on a side table in our living room. His mother took like three of them, gave one to us, one to his sister, and kept one for herself. Not being Jewish myself, I did not know that this was a Jewish mom thing. I understand now.
TIL my mother is Jewish. I had my suspicions (guilt trips), but it's crystal-clear now.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:23:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend invited me to her cousin's bar mitzvah and I got so drunk I collapsed down the stairs, hit my head and blacked out. So I didn't have to say goodbye to anyone.
This past May I went to my cousin's bat mitzvah, the first one I went to as an "adult."
Holy shit, I did not realize how important the open bar really is.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:13:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I'm at an open bar, it's like I'm expecting them to close it any minute. I'm like "I'll have a gin and tonic... No a double... No I mean three double gin and tonics, and a beer." Next thing you know...
I'm so glad I could bring you some joy! Hang in there, and just remember, you're at least not stuck in the purgatory of not being able to enjoy a party because you're "in the process of leaving" :)
My family is both Persian and Jewish. We start saying goodbye at least 2 hours before we intend to leave. Sometimes a simple Shabbat dinner can drag on until 3 am because of these formalities
I've been told that for Purim you're suppose to get drunk to the point of not being able to tell the difference between your wife and your mom or something like that.... Idk where it originated from but a few people have told me that.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:55:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drink until you can no longer distinguish between "blessed be Mordechai" and "cursed be Haman". Mordechai being the good guy, Haman being a POS.
Is this a more obscure Jewish holiday? My wife's family is Jewish and I've never heard of it. They also don't drink so maybe they just choose to ignore it.
bkrags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really obscure. They definitely teach it to kids in Hebrew school. Kids dress in costume and it's the one with the triangle cookies with fruit filling called Hamentashen.
Celebration is often a community thing. You go to temple and they read the story of Purim and people celebrate. I don't think I've heard of many people celebrating it at home like Passover or Hannukah. And it's not one of the High Holidays like Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashannah, where you HAVE to go to temple. But I bet if you asked your wife about it, she's heard of it.
Drink until you no longer know the difference between "Cursed is Hamen" and "Blessed is Mordechai". AKA, 'till you're as drunk as possible without death.
The last Jewish wedding I went to consisted of two halves. The first two hours of saying hello to everyone there and then the last two hours of saying goodbye to everyone there. I'm pretty sure you could have plotted progress on a graph.
gemkid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god is that why my mom takes forever to leave.
My father is Irish, my mother is Jewish. My father is constantly desperate to leave parties without saying goodbye and gets furious with my mother who does the typical Jewish never leaving a party thing. Not compatible.
I as well have Jewish family. I sometimes think I'm the outcast because "fuck you I'm done I'm leaving bye." Meanwhile everyone and the ladies I've never met want to have a chat.
Same thing with my mother's side of the family from Minnesota... saying goodbye leads to a new conversation, which leads to another conversation, which leads to forgetting you were leaving in the first place... sometimes you go through the process like three times before you're finally free.
Persian Jew. When someone comes to the party, everyone has to stand up as they walk around and kiss each person on both cheeks. Same when you leave but not as strict. It's the most annoying ritual
Filipino parents are also guilty of this. My brother and I will be in the basement playing Halo with the other kids, then our parents will call down to us telling us it's time for us to leave. We'll answer that we'll be coming up, but we'll both know that we'll have time for at least two more games of team deathmatch before they finish wrapping up leftovers, yakking with their Navy buddies, and picking their shoes out of the sea of footwear in front of the door.
Too true. There's a joke about this: the difference between Jewish and Irish people is that Irish people leave without saying goodbye, whereas Jews say goodbye but never leave.
Persians as well. You say goodbye. The host begs you to stay. You argue like this for a couple minutes. Then some other topic of conversation comes up, and you're there talking for another 45 minutes, but instead of sitting comfortably in the living room, you're standing by the front door.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So damn accurate. I was wondering when someone was going to bring this up, and then you brought it up as a trait of Jewish communities, and you're so right, and I never realized it.
My mother and father do this everywhere we go, and when I was younger I got pretty good at figuring out approximately how long I ACTUALLY had until we left, and how likely it was for them to get stuck in a conversation.
My experience of a goodbye in Ireland involves announcing you are leaving, then proceed to have another conversation in the doorway for a further hour.
Y'know yer one who lives around the corner from the shop? The one whose mam worked in the school where yer cousins went? He worked for yer uncle for a month or so?
....
It's always a flat "(s)he's dead", never anything else. "Ohhh you know your auntie Maureen, always dancing at parties? She's dead. Yep, heart attack out of nowhere."
Watching my mother meet up with her family is always good.
YES. Just matter of fact, like. Usually followed by an "ah, pity".
My BF is Canadian (I'm first gen Canadian with Irish parents), and bringing him over to Ireland, or to any family events in Canada, is weird for him. He can't get over how much we talk about death. The bereavement notices on the radio really disturbed him.
My mom likes to give me the "highlight reel" as she calls it. She just lists off the people I might know who died in the past 2 weeks, and then talks about who's not well for a while so I have an idea of what next weeks' highlight reel might look like.
I feel like the Irish trade mass cards like it's a game. Like Magic: the Gathering, but Irish: the Wakening.
Ohh, you literally do get tiny little death cards, slightly smaller than a debit card. You typically have a picture of the deceased, a little poem or prayer and generally a picture of Mary, Jesus or similar. They are sent out to family members and such upon death. It's kinda morbidly funny. Could be a bit archaic now though, I live in the UK and I feel like I am cheating when I claim to be Irish as I am only half!
I currently have one of my mam in my phone. My granny has a row of them of the people who have passed that she was close to all lined up at the bottom of her mirror.
Ahhh all my family does this. People thought I was so weird at college for having mass cards on my mirror lol. (I'm 2nd generation American but my family has clung to all their little Irishisms.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it ever goes away. I'm like 4th/5th gen, and we do the cards at funerals, I usually tuck them into a picture frame. I've got 5 already this year (not a great year, unfortunately). I'm really only Catholic for weddings and funerals, but it's one of my favorite traditions - it's a lovely little reminder of the people you cared about. Do Protestants not do this?
I also get the rundown on everyone I might ever have heard of who died, not just from my mom but from all the aunts as well. It's not a family party until 6 old women have told you that Kelly, not your cousin Kelly, but your other cousin, Mike's girl? You remember Mike, he's your great uncle Danny's youngest son, lives in PA. You probably met him at young Dennis's wedding. Yeah, his daughter. She's dead.
I don't know if it's because of the many people with Irish heritage in the state, but Minnesota has this too, but we call it the "Minnesota Goodbye" where we say we are leaving, say goodbye to everyone and have a conversation as we are literally walking out of the door and taking another at least 20 minutes with that conversation before we actually leave the place. Apparently just fucking leaving is "insincere".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that tradition takes a few generations to die, because my Irish/German -American grandma does this. If only I had a dollar for every blank stare my mom's given her in return...
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:27:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the old Irish phone call goodbye.
"Yep, see ya, I'll talk to ya later, yep, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, yep, I'm going now, haha yeah, see ya, good night, yeah that's all the craic, yep, yep, good bye."
Exactly! My wife is Irish, when we're at family gatherings I've learned that I don't even have to get up when she says that we're leaving, it's more of a 'time for one last round of conversations with everyone'.
This is why I sometimes do an Irish Exit. I find it weird living in England and I tell people I'm leaving and they're okay with it. In England: "no problem dude, I might go soon too."
In Ireland: "ah Seรกn you're no craic, you'll stay for one more" so in the end you need to duck out.
That's pretty similar to Indian. Except the host constantly asks you to stay for another cup of tea. No matter what time you leave. There's always one more cup of tea!
My experience with the Irish good-bye generally consists of a statesman declaring one last drink and then you'll leave, and then waking up extremely
Hungover and wondering how you got home.
My father would fit in quite well, then. He's the only person I know where for him, "we should get going now," means, "in an hour, we're really gonna have to leave."
This is also Minnesota. Ungh, can't you see I'm already wearing my coat and I might be dying?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how my wife's family works. Also, you can't leave without saying goodbye to everyone. Nowadays, I initiate the leaving sequence a half-hour before I actually want to leave.
That was torture as a kid and you're dying to go home then another long ass chat starts all over again and you kinda just hover on the outside of the conversation hoping your parents got the message.
This is very Indian too. I'd be at a cousin's place playing Smash Bros or something and my parents would call out to me to say we were leaving. So I call back 5 minutes to finish our game and they say no, now. I come down and then have to wait in the doorway for an age and a half as their convo just keeps going.
I thought this was "The Mom Goodbye" every time as a child my mom would chat for hours on the phone, then her girlfriends would come over and they'd chat for hours in the kitchen. Then it was time to say goodbye and they'd chat another hour in the entryway. Then a half hour on the porch. Then ten minutes at the car.
Also known as a "French Exit". I'm the master of it. Left a party a few days ago without anyone seeing me. Got about 15 texts 20 minutes later from drunk people wondering what happened to me.
p44v9n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup - I've always called it a French exit. Apparently in France they call it the English exit, hah. Just naming it after that rude culture which your culture hates I guess.
I had quite the reputation of doing this. The taxi stand was right outside our usual bar so once I realized I was way too drunk just peace out, usually leaving my debit card behind as well.
I have a friend who perfected the Irish exit. We'll be hanging out in a group then suddenly we'll all realize he'd been gone for the past 10 minutes, or he'll appear and nobody will have noticed he'd have ever left. He doesn't even realize nobody had noticed, but he would be out of sight for a while, often just around the corner.
I've been at typical family parties where nobody can segway the conversation into a simple "We better get going" because they don't want to be the first ones to leave and say goodbye and be rude.
Or at least here saying goodbye is the rude part.
stronimo ยท 673 points ยท Posted at 14:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"segue the conversation", unless you mean talking on wheeled upright vehicles.
Saotik ยท 893 points ยท Posted at 15:15:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just continue the conversation while you slowly glide backwards out of the door.
Imagine Michael Cera wearing a helmet, awkwardly and quietly saying goodbye as he wheels out of the party on a Segway that he has been riding the entire time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whilst "the sound of silence" plays in the background of course.
jabe1127 ยท 344 points ยท Posted at 15:43:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 2 older brothers and I have the whole "leaving the family get togethers" down to a science. I'm the youngest(26) no children. They are both 35-40 with a combined 7 children. So, when one of them wants to leave they come talk to me. I always want to leave, and since I don't bring kids for the old folks and women to play with, no one seems to mind when I do decide to go, but everyone knows, once someone has broken the "I'm leaving" ice, its every clan for themselves.
Gets me out of there, Gets them out of there. Baring any woman/child Fiasco, this works well for us.
Oh man, when my siblings and I wanted to get out of a situation growing up, we had everything from my little sister falling asleep, to me faking a body illness as an excuse.
Sometimes siblings can be awesome to have growing up. Now we just ride together (apart from parents); leave separately. "See you guys at home!"
See, my wife and I are the opposite. We use the kid as our excuse. Fuck no she isn't really tired, she took a nap before we left. Fuck no she ain't pissy, toddlers love hot dogs and attention. The truth is I AM TIRED AND PISSY AND FIND YOU ALL SUPER WEIRD AND ANNOYING.
There comes a time in every man's life when he needs to settle down with a good woman, get married, and start his own fiasco.
EllaL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a dinner party once where everyone clearly was done and wanted to go home but was staying to be polite. The couple with a kid got a call from the babysitter and I was so hopeful, but then they STAYED. What kind of monsters?? I finally just said we had to go, even though we had no good reason and, by etiquette for that group, should not have been the first to leave.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao etiquette. I don't get it. Maybe this is why I'm not often invited to high prissy wear a suit parties but what kind of etiquette is that? I just tell them I'm going to be on my way and leave. Simple. Everyone's overthinking this.
Its reddit haha... everyone is socially awkward apparently
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very socially awkward which is why I'm so good at leaving places. Being alone is the best of times!
EllaL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The boss was hosting the event and he is of a different culture, which has strong rules regarding respect. My date and I represented the bottom of the totem pole, both at work and in age.
UCFJoe2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before kids I was always the last to leave family functions, now we leave whenever we want because we have to get the baby home for dinner/bath/bed
This is the one tolerable aspect of my family that always confuses my wife. Out of nowhere someone will drop the "well I better get going" line and be out the door in under 3 minutes. With her family it takes at least 30 minutes of trying to say goodbye but "oh I just remembered this story I have to tell you and oh did you speak to your cousin lately, here's some dinnerware or some other shit" before she can get out the door. Meanwhile I just wandered off to the car while she is trying to say goodbye. I'd like to think at some point she says "oh shit I've lost my husband" and rushes out the door while they're all distracted.
This is my boyfriend's family, especially my boyfriend himself. When I want to go, I want to leave within five minutes. He will have half an hour long conversations with his relatives in the hallway while I stand there with my coat on. I really like his family but when I say I want to go home it's because I am no longer in the mindset to be social (especially since I speak a second language around them which wears me out after a few hours), and it's not like they live far away or anything so we see them often.
My girlfriend is exactly the same way with her mom. She'll complain that she wants to leave, I've said my goodbyes and sitting in the damn car, 30minutes later she comes out saying she finally got out of there after her mom's inane rambling.
I'm Irish and my bf is Native Alaskan. Holy crap our future kids will hate us. Goodbye happens a good 40 minutes before you leave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think your girlfriend and I have the same family. Except it's a gradual goodbye. We say we're gonna leave in the middle of the house, then get stopped by a bunch of people on the way out, each goodbye lasting at least 10 minutes. By the time we leave it's about 45 minutes after we first said we had better get going.
I love the guy like a brother, but he'll end up staying the night and then not leaving the next day until like...6PM. Meanwhile me and the girlfriend are dropping hints at all the stuff we need to get done that day and he's completely clueless that we're hinting he should go home.
My brother is a "lingerer", and I'm someone that is ready to leave before I even arrive. If we're at a family get-together, we always drive separately, so his lingering is never an issue in that sense. But when he comes to my house, and does the whole "Well, I gotta go," then stands and decides to chat for another year, I look him dead in the eyes and repeatedly say "Bye," until he leaves. He thinks I'm just his funny his little sister; no, I really want him to leave. It drives me crazy when people say they're going to leave and then proceed to not do that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as "fingerer"...gives it a totally different context...
We have "ah well" time. Someone shouts that and we all know it's safe to bail.
It basically turns into my grandpa kicking us out, haha.
BrckT0p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gah family parties are the worst. My SO will discretely tell me "we need to leave soon" then continue to just sit there talking for an hour or more. Then later on the drive home she'll say "I wanted to leave like an hour ago" and I always respond "well did you expect me to carry you out? You literally made no indication to anybody that you wanted to leave and I'm not going to butt into your conversation with your mom to say we need to leave."
On the other hand I have absolutely no issue standing up, putting on my shoes, packing up anything we need to take with us, etc. and then saying "well, we better get going" but that doesn't work when she just continues to sit there talking!
Ah my boyfriend simply doesn't care. We left his nieces' birthday after cake while everyone was chatting I didn't want to leave, but they're just babies, they won't remember.
I have a friend that just leaves without saying goodbye at all of our get-togethers. Especially if we're all crashing at someone's place, he'll just get up and leave whenever he wants. There's nothing wrong with it.
One of my friends does this too, the fact that he always hangs out for a good amount of time is what makes it OKAY, he just leaves when shit starts to die down or he gets tired usually.
Nothing worse than having a friend who won't chill for more than 30 minutes and just leaves without saying anything.
trigg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend like that. He's a really, really cool dude, so we don't hold it against him too much.
He never directly responds to invites, we just text him and maybe he'll show up. He can stay half an hour, or three hours, or be the one to shut the party down, but man can he ninja his way out of there when he wants to. Some nights he'll show up in the beginning, ninja out, then show up again 3 or 4 hours later. If it were anyone else it would be infuriating.
That person does not sound cool at all. He sounds self involved.
trigg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's a little fried from lots of drug use... Says some of the wackiest shit but yet is obviously quite smart under it all. We love him for who he is, and his ninja skills are ongoing entertainment for us.
I am that guy but I'm pretty sure it just adds to my reputation as that asshole who doesn't like talking to people. Which is not exactly true, I'm just bad at talking, so I kind of go without saying stuff and it's not something that helps me in the long run.
Ugh, I wonder if our friend who does this thinks we are cool with it. It's annoying as fuck. Because there is always that period where you have to look around for the guy before e.g. moving to next bar, or whatever you are doing. Just say bye and walk off.
See, MOST of my friends have this down to a science. We can all tell when we need to leave whoevers house we're at, or of its cool to stay, or whatever. There's always that one fucking friend who just doesn't get it. The host could literally not talk for an hour and pass out stoned and drunk sitting on the couch and this fuckin guy will still be sitting there in either uncomfortable silence and having a full on convo with himself.
Well, I do that and I got lots of worried calls and text messages "Where are you, what happened? Is something wrong?". I guess I need to keep doing it until everyone knows that's my thing to do.
That's exactly what I do. I quietly left my friends place this morning and her bf texted me about a half hour later asking if I went home, and she hasn't even noticed I'm not there.
This is me. I do this. And Im notorious for this. I dont give a shit. Look Im leaving....we had some fun and we shared a piece of life together, but I absolutely HATE making the rounds to bid farewell to a bunch of people I dont really know. Now you see me, now you dont. No offense
Agreed, the Irish Goodbye is the best. In reality, taking the time to announce to everyone at a party that you're bouncing is kind of a dick move. "Everyone please stop having fun for a minute and acknowledge that you will no longer be in my presence!"
One of my friends typically hosts parties, but she will not let people leave peacefully. I will go let her know I'm heading out and it turns into "lets have a last smoke before you go" which is cool, except that along the way she let's everyone else know that I'm leaving. So there's about 15+ people all smoking, now the party is outside and I have to start over again trying to leave.
You just wait for a moment when nobody's watching you, and leave without saying anything to anyone. I don't think it's Irish-Irish, more of an Americans-who-claim-Irish-Heritage thing.
Not to be offensive to "relaventusername-" because I love the Irish but I believe what is actually called an Irish Goodbye is when you are so drunk that you realize you need to bounce and don't tell anyone you're leaving. The Irish part coming from being drunk...
a friend left my wedding without noticing or saying goodbye, I thought that was rude as my wife and I took pictures with every single guest before leaving... for other parties it's ok
MLein97 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:01:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gah, yes. My husband is very extroverted and will be the last one to leave if it's up to him. By the time I'm able to drag him out, I don't care about saying goodbye to anyone.
It's annoying now, but I used to love this as a kid. My parents would sit down and have a glass of wine with my best friend's mom. It extended our play time by a few hours sometimes.
Every fucking gig, I'm our harmonica player's ride. Every time, I give him the 20-minute and 10-minute warnings when we're near time to leave. Every time, when it's finally time to go, he tells me "OK, just let me go say goodbye..." From that point I'm lucky if we leave within half an hour. So lately I've just started telling him no. "Isn't that rude?" he asks. I don't think it is.
I think your husband and my boyfriend may be the same person. He is afflicted with FOMO, and can't leave a party until it's over beyond reasonable doubt, because "what if we miss something cool?"
It's not so much "fear of missing out" as it is "can't stop talking". I get that he likes the interaction, but ugh. We're in our mid-to-late 30s. Nobody wants the party to go all night.
....and no longer going through their medicine cabinet
dchrisd ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood this. Just leaving comes across as rude/ weird. Plus, its not like its that hard or takes that much time to say you're leaving. Find the host, or if they're unavailable, find someone they're close to, and just say you're leaving (give a reason or not, doesn't matter) but say something.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:05:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you can feel that if you leave, other people will take advantage and leave too, thereby ruining the party.
dchrisd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:16:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but that sounds really self-centered. Plus, even if everyone is just waiting for the opportunity to leave, its not going to ruin the party since it sounds like its over already.
I always find the problem is if yr leaving a party and you try and say goodbye, everycunt is like "where do you think you're goin ya fanny? get back in here and have more drink"
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to disagree with you, but if someone told me "where do you think you're goin ya fanny?" I don't think I could leave either :)
I have kids and if I'm out that means they are with a sitter or grandma or something. Goodbyes used to make me late & were annoying so now I just sneak out & text a thanks to the host. Works like a charm, I still get invited to things & my sitters aren't mad at me.
Sometimes, particularly with family, leaving is not taken well. "Stay stay! Have another cup of tea. Leaving so soon? What, do you not like us? You haven't seen the photo albums yet."
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you're not avoiding that by just taking off. All you're doing is just delaying those questions. By taking off without a word, they're still going to ask why you just left. Best just to take a moment to deal with it.
It's never just "a moment" with people like that. When I take off I can call and say "Sorry, I had to go" and the conversation ends when I disconnect. It's harder when they're right there with a vice grip on your forearm and a picture of little shitbrain in their other hand.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're just hanging up on people. It's not right of them to push you like that, but it's also not right for you to act the way you are. Be in the right and just tell them you're leaving. If they get mad, it's on them, and at least you should feel better knowing you confronted the problem and did the right thing
It seems like a bigger inconvenience for me to stick around for 30 minutes trying to disentangle myself from a reluctant host than it is for you to just accept that people will leave your party without saying goodbye. There is no "right thing" in this scenario, it's a made up convention that some people abuse for companionship.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with someone leaving. Go ahead and go if you're ready. Just say something, that's all. Doesn't need to be drawn out or elaborate. A quick bye without explanation is good enough. It's weird to have someone just go and be left wondering what happened.
I only duck out without saying goodbye if the person is difficult to say goodbye to. For most people it's "I'm heading out, but I had a good time, great party dude!"
Yea I always worry if we are drunk and my friends just run off. A hey guys I'm gonna go and a wave seems like not that much effort
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It doesn't need to be drawn out or anything. A quick wave off works perfectly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problems start when your buddies try to guilt trip you into staying, lest I be considered a bringer-down. And me, I'm a spineless cunt, so I always stay "a little longer" and end up more drunk, tired and miserable than I originally planned.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then the problem lies with you. Still doesn't make it right to just leave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it right for them to try and goad me into staying where I no longer want to be by poking me where it hurts?
I'll usually let one person at a get-together know that I'm scooting so the others won't worry about me, but I'm not about to kiss everybody good-bye individually when I've no more energy to stay.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never said that it was right for them to goad you, and its definitely not right for them to hurt you. But that still doesn't excuse you just walking away since you're the admittedly spineless one who doesn't want to deal with it. And quite frankly, your method apparently isn't working if they still bug you.
As far as telling everyone individually bye, I never said you should (a quick wave or general "bye" is fine). And letting at least one person know your leaving means you're not taking off without saying a word since at least you told someone.
YEA! And if I'd rather sit in on my own at the weekend, eat pizza and watch movies that's should be acceptable too, I shouldn't have to make up an excuse.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the only people it matters to say goodbye to are the one's who hosted the party. At least it it's something important like a wedding, otherwise just sneak out.
My husband introduced me to this. At first I thought it was stupid but now I like it. I always say goodbye to the hosts and thank them again and then we leave. You don't need to spend an hour saying goodbye to everyone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa would show up to a party. He'd turn to my grandma and say "Start saying your goodbyes now"
jusjerm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got crucified here once for saying I've done that in the past. I made a joke something along the lines of "fuck you I'm am adult I don't have to explain myself to anyone." holy shit did people lose their nut over that.
I think it's rude to say goodbye if you leave a party mid-swing. It sets the tone for other people to start thinking about leaving and then suddenly the place clears out. Just leave if everyone else is engrossed in conversation, dancing or otherwise having a great time.
My boyfriend feels compelled to say goodbye to all of his friends before we leave parties. I hate it. I would be 110% okay with just leaving. It's not like we're never going to see these people again!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Additionally not staying for one more drink just because you keep asking. I'm leaving because I want to go home, not because I'm scared to ask for another drink.
I hate having to enter a full room, stop conversation and tell the host I'm out. Everyone asks why you're leaving so soon and I have to lie repeatedly to several faces. The wife and kids have to be briefed on the plan or else it blows up in my face. Most of the time I just leave and deal with the excuses/potential shit storm later. However, I am very lenient when it comes to folks bailing on me this way. I get it.
See, you are doing what all of us runners used to do. You need to go in with a solid team game plan. Code words, emergency exits, joint lie strategy....it's all there in the relationship handbook!
I just say goodbye to whoever I'm talking to at the time, and usually the host. I hate the idea of having to interrupt everyone's conversation and announce I'm leaving.
The Minnesota Goodbye. You say, "Well, I should probably be going" and then you sit on the couch and talk for another half hour. Then you go put your shoes and jacket on and talk in the doorway for 20 minutes, then you walk out to the car with your host and either stand next to the car or get in the car and roll down the window and talk for another 10 minutes, and then you drive away.
Sometimes I go around to each person I care about to say bye and tell them I'm sneaking out. That way I disrespect nobody but get to leave without the whole party saying bye at once and delaying me.
I have day drank a lot on vacations, and I end up drinking late into the night. You just can't start with hard liquor at 10 AM. You need to do beer until about 8-9 PM.
I slept from 11pm to 4pm last weekend. I felt guilty till I remembered I was a fucking adult that didn't have to work or do anything I didn't freaking feel like. I love those moments.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does alcohol really make people tired? It does the opposite for me, ends up fucking up sleep disorder.
Naps are a great power, great responsibility sort of thing. I'm good at them, but my girlfriend is not. If I don't have her up before two hours, she's doing a full night's sleep, even if it's fucking noon. And then it's my fault for instigating the naptime in the first place, when it was her idea to put on a movie to watch while we cuddled.
Anyways. Cut your naps off at the right point. You want to be refreshed, not lethargic. Too much sleep is bad for naptime.
I don't stop at just one when I'm day drinking. I also don't have a vagina but do think people who talk like that are assholes.
pyro5050 ยท 2075 points ยท Posted at 16:02:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addictions Counsellor here
on Saturday when i wake up and have my house clean by 8am, i am damn well gonna sit down, have a beer or two, then crank the AC and take a fucking nap. my co-workers found out and were shocked. what does the time of day have ANYTHING to do with enjoying a beer or two? if it becomes a problem, a daily thing, something that i need to function... then i have a problem.
I think it stems from people thinking that you NEED a drink to be able to function, rather than just wanting to relax and enjoy a couple of drinks. Every year, I go on an obligatory beach trip with my family, my dad and his wife are pretty conservative, and my two sisters and their husbands act conservative when they're around my dad. Somebody will always say something to me if I crack a beer at 10 or 11am like I am some huge alcoholic or something. I always just give them a smartass comment in return like, "gee, I sure hope this won't interfere with me sitting in the sand and sweating!" It's also funny to me how, in their minds, there's a big difference in drinking a beer at 11am vs noon. They also like to judge if we're all at a restaurant and I'm the only one who orders a drink/beer, like I'm "drinking alone." My wife's family, on the other hand - they're Colombian and don't give a shit what I do at any point in the day, so it's kind of a no-brainer why I spend more time with them..
There's so much stigma in that, too. Like the only reason you'd ever have alcohol is as a social lubricant. Sometimes after a long day at work, I have the house to myself and I want pizza -- and beer goes great with pizza.
Who cares if I'm alone?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:52:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll go one further: being drunk alone. Obviously if it's a frequent occurrence, then it's a big red flag of a substance abuse problem. But if I live a healthy, solid life, why is there anything wrong with me mixing up a strong drink or a few and getting nice and toasty by myself as I watch Planet Earth or try to write 'profound' drunken poetry? I do this probably a few times a year, and I make great company for drunken me!
I experienced something similar on my annual camping trip. We just spend the days floating on rafts and playing fetch in the lake with the dogs. It is such a care-free environment, and we'll be drinking beers all day. One year my brother came and brought his wife. She got upset when someone offered her a beer with breakfast. Then she saw us all having breakfast beers and started chastising us for drinking so early. None of us are alcoholics, we don't drink until the evenings in our regular lives, but bitch when we're camping and floating on an inflatable raft is my plans for the day, I'm gonna enjoy a breakfast beer.
Well, God does want us to drink wine on Sunday mornings.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family is Christian conservatives so I never drink around them. Or do anything of the sort. I love my family, but in a lot of ways they don't know the real me, nor do I want them to. I can't imagine telling them I'm an atheist and don't but into any of their beliefs since like 9th grade...
To them, there is a time and a place for it. Sometimes I'll wake up at 5pm and have a beer with my food (read: breakfast), and somehow that's more acceptable than the guy who's been awake for three hours when he has a beer at 10pm
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:06:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they're Colombian and don't give a shit what I do at any point in the day
they're Colombian and don't give a shit what I do at any point in the day as long as I cut lines out for them, too
Why on earth would you tell your co-workers this? Substance abuse counselors are some of the most judgemental people ever. I guess they kinda have to be
[deleted] ยท 2298 points ยท Posted at 16:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Because hes clearly a fucking man who does what he wants.
I mean sure, I do what I want too but I don't tell my mother I smoked at least half my paychecks in weed over the course of college because I don't want to have never ending grief.
He can do whatever he wants, but if he wants his co-workers to not judge him, then he should also want to not tell them about his day-drinking. It not horribly complicated.
That's funny because a number of my friends work in addiction and mental health and they are frequent, but very responsible, users of drugs (LSD, pot, mushrooms, etc). They are very conscious of when, how and why they use.
I think it actually makes them better at their jobs to have a moderate perspective on drug use, and they fully recognize that each person has an individualized relationship to these substances so no single rule can apply to everyone.
because when you get down to it, i dont give two shits what anyone thinks of me other than my parents and my wife. my self esteem is mine, and if i want a beer at 8am, i will have a beer. :)
i probably will on saturday this week too. :)
zcab ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The beer I had breakfast wasn't bad. So I had one more for dessert.
Omg tell me about it. My mother is a social worker and worked with AlAnon for a while. I was 28 before I felt comfortable having even a single drink around her, with all the questions and interrogation I went through every time. I mean, I understand taking drinking seriously, but damn.
Former social worker here. Worked in child welfare (NOT CPS) for 3 years. I never, EVER, thought about sharing my marijuana habits with my co-workers. The misinformation in the field is mind blowing.
Hell, if it were me, I'd be telling them about all the things they assume I'm doing anyways. Counselors aren't all prudes. My current coke connection used to do addictions counseling for at risk youth. He stopped doing it when he got depressed and his coke habit got worse.
psymunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe depends on the setting. Most of the ones I know aren't phased unless your injecting heroin into your eye during your lunch break. The bar is just so much lower than weekend beer
Lyeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We had a substance abuse counselor come into one of those meetings you have during your first week of college. I was a pretty boring kid and hadn't even really drank excessively and certainly hadn't done any drugs by the time I was 18. They were going around, trying to get folks to share stories about how they did one of these things so they could 'counsel' them.
Dude got MAD at me for not having one of these stories and accused me of lying. Like, it is possible that an 18 year old, particularly an 18 year old at a seven sisters college, got to that age without dabbling in drugs or serious binge drinking and they shouldn't be yelled at for such a thing.
That's ridiculous, sorry that guy was a douche to you. Honestly you should be commended for not trying drugs and alcohol before that she. Your developing brain thanks you!
Lyeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:20 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was just such a bizarre thing to be chided for. You're going to be mad at me for NOT doing illegal things?
I've made up for it as an adult. My liver says 'uuughhhh'
Slnt666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mental health counselor, but many of our patients have substance abuse problems too. One of the nurses I work with told me that marijuana is the "worst drug in the world" (exact words) and that is causes psychotic disorders. He doesn't know I smoke after work, oops.
That's sad. =/ Marijuana absolutely can exacerbate psychotic disorders (or take a predisposed person and tip them over the edge), as components of it (mainly THC) are hallucinogenic, but... if the person didn't have (or wasn't about to have) a psychotic disorder to begin with, having a toke after work sure isn't going to cause it!
WTF? So, I guess meth is basically aspirin? It's bad enough that this kind of misinformation exists, let alone in the minds of educated health care professionals.
Well in my experience, and I've had a lot of experience with this group, they are very judgemental when comes to alcohol and drugs. It makes total sense, as it's their line of work. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing, it's just something I've noticed.
But thanks for being condescending, you're awesome
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the kind of job that would attract people with a deep-seated and irrational hate of drugs.
Mujlet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:17:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is a substance abuse counselor. I've never seen her say a word about anyone drinking at any time, unless they did have a known addiction, or they were drinking to excess.
Hell, at her work's Christmas "White Elephant" party there were about 10 substance abuse counselors, and almost every gift had wine of some sort, or a little bottle of something hard.
I've heard them say it's not for them to judge other people, but to help them get better. "Just because you have a problem I don't, doesn't mean I'm any better than you are."
Actually yes. I portray different sides of myself based on the company I'm around. Anyway, I wasn't judging the guy, I was genuinely surprised.
FoeHamr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:46:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends have this no booze before 5 thing that I just don't get. It's been a long week at work, if I want to sip whiskey while doing my homework at 11 Saturday morning, move over I'm making a stiff old fashioned.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:39:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, thats the bomb. Wake up Saturday morning, pour myself a vodka and orange juice, and clean the house. Then you're sitting in a nice clean house, a little buzzed, throw on a good tv show and snooze. Perfect Saturday.
I used to always save a little beer from the night before on the bed stand next to me. Morning-Beer, as it became known, was the best thing for getting the stale beer taste out of your mouth from the night before if you intended to lie in bed for a bit before getting up.
It was the vodka on the cornflakes that became the problem though.
itsamee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!!! I thought it was weird to have a beer in the shower at 9am. I fucking love beer and drink whenever i want, but never when it would cause problems (work, driving etc..) your comment reassured me it is fine.
Y___ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you extend this mindset to every drug? If there are people who can use heroin in a way that doesn't debilitate their life, do they have a problem? It's a long shot, but definitely possible. I'm in treatment for substance abuse because I had a few pills of adderall I wasn't prescribed and all I hear is how much of a problem I have with drugs. I'm just like, "dude I used them here and there when they were available, I was never dependent." No one cares about that, I'm just another addict in the system.
i know i am a different type of addictions counsellor, and it has gotten me in trouble with my bosses before, but here is a comment i made a while back
the problem i run into is when people are not honest with themselves. be honest with yourself about your use. if you honestly only use occasionally and it is not impacting major life areas, then why worry? focus on improving the other areas of your life and you might notice you dont even need the adderall at all! i would like people to be drug and medication free.
but that isnt my call, that is your call, i find healthy living to be a much better high than any drug, and i occasionally use alcohol to relax/enjoy/reward but the 48 beer i bought on Thursday will probably last at my house for 2 months unless i have people over.
Y___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We need more people like you in the system man. I never thought I had a problem with drugs, I used sporadically. It never took a toll on my health, responsibilities, anything. But now, it has basically boiled down to putting my head down and saying how addicted to drugs I was because I must be wrong if I got a possession charge.
Major life areas as i mentioned are what you need to look at. in my organization we boiled it down to these
1: Education
2: Employment
3: Family
4: Financial
5: Legal
6: Leisure
7: Mental Health
8: Physical Health
9: Relationships (friends and such)
10: spirituality (major changes in beliefs)
if you noticed that there were impacts to any of those areas, i would look at how you can improve your life. life is a balance, find some healthy hobbies. :)
Y___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got plenty of hobbies. The only struggles I have are 4 and 5, but a BS in psychology gets you nowhere these days, so hopefully an advanced degree will help. But I'd say that's a good list. Keep on doing what you're doing man.
Good for you. I went to see an addictions counselor preemptively as part of making a court case go more smoothly.
He asked how much I'd drank when I visited my friend at a bar, and when I said a beer, and the single shot of whiskey poured for me free that I thought it polite to drink, he asked if I had caught a buzz from it. He said that anyone who has ever gotten a buzz from drinking is an alcoholic. He couldn't define catching a buzz, or what the limit was, and he couldn't explain how someone could know what their personal limit was or what an appropriate amount was without ever having caught a buzz. The whole thing was a joke, and he was clearly there to line someone's pockets (possibly his own from the pictures of him on a boat around his office). It was ridiculous. Dude has an addiction to judging people.
we have a nice screening tool we use to see if someone has concerns with alcohol (btw, i do not use alcoholic as it is a negative connotation label, i prefer my clients to be empowered to make better choices in life than to resort to "i'm an alcoholic, what did you expect" type mentality)
anyhow, the screening tool has 24 questions used to help us find an intensity to work with you on. question 1 is "the last time you drank, how much did you drink? A: enough to get high or less b: enough to get drunk C: enough to pass out
this is ONE question, with a weight of 2 out of 47, for a SCREENING TOOL, not a diagnostics tool, which do not exist in addictions counselling, because all clients are different.
i dont make a killing doing what i like, but i like it, it is fun, and i find it easy, some people in private counselling (i find more and more americans do not like addictions counsellors because they are fee for service most often) do it for the money. i dont own a boat... i own two vehicles, one is paid off... i got new goalie gear 8 days ago, that was a nice treat for selling my house and getting a cheaper place... you need to find a new counsellor... that guy is a tool...
Yeah, definitely did not continue to see him. Went two sessions, he signed some papers for my lawyer after agreeing that we didn't see eye to eye. I figured after dealing with rampant heroin addiction and people with actual alcohol problems (everyone else in the waiting room was a heroin addict, it's big in my city), someone like me who ended up with a "guilt by association" charge because someone with me ha a little pot he'd not be overbearing and stupid about it, but he was definitely immediately under the impression that everything I said was a lie and that I must be an addict. It was pretty disgusting. His logic was that because I was there I must have a major problem, and that the fact that I had a legal issue meant that it was interfering with my livelihood, with no consideration of circumstance or that the law might be the issue. There's plenty of people for whom someone like you is a major help, it's just a shame that some are so gung-ho about everyone seeing them definitely having a major issue. Can't blame the profession for one quack though, certainly.
On a personal note, my stuff was all null processed and expunged quickly, because it was bullshit in a bullshit legal system, but a guy like him couldn't accept that eventuality.
I think there has been some study pointing that a good indicator for one's propensity to alcoholism is when they start drinking in the day, and starting the day with a drink/beer does make one far more inclined to alcoholism.
This is merely an indicator and not proof of alcoholism. Addiction and susbtance abuse is (generally) poorly understood, so your friends might just be dumb. Me personally, I look for 'the shakes' when seeing if someone is an alcoholic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a problem when you need that beer before all the cleaning/productive stuff you do during the day. Needing an "eye-opener" is a sign of a problem.
Solkre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds awesome, can I do that without the cleaning work part?
I felt this way after finishing all the yard work yesterday, at 9:30 am. I get up really early to get it done so that I'm not sweating balls at noon or later. It's my Sunday, I can be drunk by noon if I've done my chores (not that I did or that I was) :)
People give me shit because I eat leftovers for breakfast. I don't want pancakes when I wake up, and I don't have enough time to cook bacon. So fuck it, I'll eat these leftover buffalo wings.
Why does the time of day dictate what I can eat/ drink?
Isn't the whole point of addictions counseling to recognize when something is interfering with a person's life and when it's not? What's up with your coworkers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From one counselor to another, if you're using it as an eye-opener, then time does matter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem defensive about your drinking. Wanna talk about it?
what does the time of day have ANYTHING to do with enjoying a beer or two?
Well, you know why. Because most people have responsibilities they need to take care of during the day, and being drunk means you won't be able to fulfill them adequately.
The issue is whether or not you actually have responsibilities that day, but it's easy to see how most people would be surprised that you're starting that early, because presumably you do have some that you're thus neglecting.
The difference is you do it on a weekend. If you're at work and cracking a beer at 11, that's probably a problem. Unless you work in a brewery as a taste tester. But desk job? Beer in the morning is bad. But hell, drink your beer after doing some chores. It's your life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I started cleaning my house daily.... :(
Ha-ha, you sound like my dad. Do you practice harm reduction techniques, and if yes have you noticed a better recidivism rate than your colleagues who preach abstinence?
totally harm reduction. i am one of three counsellors with a 100% satisfaction from clients for every year i have worked... :) i specialize in high risk clients. but in January i moved and am now working normal population... i never knew that this job was so easy... :)
Yes. I work night shift so my 7pm is your 7am. It's a nightcap for me. Not all the time, but my schedule is completely opposite so I'm gonna have that beer on the porch while you have to sit in rush hour.
aizxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you wake up early to do chores just to go take a nap when you're done? Why not just sleep in?
some of us just cant sleep in... i actually was able to sleep till 9:30 on saturday last week, but i also moved on my own and have been running ragged for 2 weeks... :)
Historically, beer actually use to be a breakfast beer, due to the high number of calories. Imagine sitting down with a full english breakfast and a pint of a heavy german beer and you'll get the picture.
When you said you were an addictions counselor I thought for sure you were gunna say drinking before noon is a sure sign of alcoholism and give him a card. Glad you didn't.
nope. :) but i also have so much education around substances that i could never imagine using anything other than an occasional beer. we joke about using crack, but that's never serious. :)
I used to work nightshifts and people would have a dig at me because I would get home after work at around 7am and have a beer or two while watching something before sleeping. The body doesn't magically convert alcohol into crippling addiction just because it is morning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It goes WAY back.
Acts 2:15 For these are not drunken, as ye suppose, seeing it is but the third hour of the day.
I love having really obscure bible passages become relevant.
Krunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction counselors tend to be a bit jumpy with that kind of thing. I idly said something to a room full of them about how I had cut myself, which was met with a concerned intervention trying to get me to seek help for my self-harm. When I said I meant I accidentally got a cut, I got a 5 minute lecture on why I shouldn't joke about self-harm. I wasn't even joking...
Can you come to PA so I can have you as a counselor. Court ordered counseling because of being busted for weed is a pain. I quit cold turkey when I was caught and had no problem functioning, I think that's proof enough of a lack of an addiction.
Likewise, I'm going to enjoy a nice glass of red with my dinner after my last day of work for the week, who cares if that means I'm opening a bottle at 7am on a Tuesday morning, I work the graveyard shift and that's the start of my weekend.
Having to take a nap at 8am sounds like a problem!
aksid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as someone who gets off work at 0700... i have no problem drinking in the morning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I like a nice breakfast beer.
branded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this an American thing? Everywhere else I've been, its totally normal.
Taleya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couple of my coworkers used to get so much shit from their local bottle shop because every Friday morning, 8am, they'd be in there getting some beers.
Clearly some terrible drinking problem. Clearly. Clearly not because our shifts were 11pm-8am and friday morning was our friday night and we'd toss back a few while doing the weekly windup.
My co workers all drink more than me and i'm 24 and a substance abuse counselor. Pretty much all weekend drinkers, where as i might have 1 beer a week, and then proceed to nap.
a beer or two on saturday morning normally takes 2 hours of my time, i have been up since 5 am, at 10 i can take a nap and back up to be productive by 11, :)
It probably stems from the negative social stigma of being an alcoholic and going STRAIGHT to the bottle when you wake up. Perhaps the association with relaxing and drinking to do so and then being in a time where hard work was all you did be doing and not relaxing, 20s through 60s sort of idea. I'm just spitballing here but I'm sure it stems from something old.
The fact that you find beer to be a reward shows you are already addicted in my opinion. Beer tastes like piss water that no one enjoys when they first try it. You had to drink enough beers to chemically alter your brain to enjoy the taste and to view it as a reward for a hard days work. That alone to me says you are addicted to beer so I don't care if you are enjoying it at 3AM, 11AM, 3PM, or 11PM, its all a bad sign.
Lets see, you started off disliking beer and now you receive a pleasurable effect from beer. Sounds like your brain is fucked up due to overuse of alcohol to the point where your brain isn't the shit taste of beer properly and you now associate the shit taste as a reward.
you cherry picked a sentence and did not look at the entire article, you also skipped over the previous paragraph, the first one, in the link that stated exactly what i did,
so essentially, you chose a sentence from a definition that is not the complete form of the definition, ignoring the other sections of the exact multifaceted definition to try and make your point. the sentence after the one you quoted gives more clarity to the definition of addiction, and ignore ALL other aspects of what makes an addiction an addiction. such as continued use despite harm to major life areas, such as
1: Education
2: Employment
3: Family
4: Financial
5: Legal
6: Leisure
7: Mental Health
8: Physical Health
9: Relationship (such as friendships and co-workers)
10: Spirituality
but hey, keep on keeping on, i will stay at my 90 grand a year job that i earned with my degree in Addictions Counselling, which is a Bachelor of Health Science, from the University of Lethbridge which is one of the few Universities that offers a four year degree.
And you can stay on the other side of the internet, using faulty quotes to try and back a flawed view of the world that is possibly skewed by being personally impacted by addictions, either your own use, or someone close to you. either way, you might want to try some form of counselling, and maybe attempt to remove the foggy veil you are viewing addiction with.
but hey, keep on keeping on, i will stay at my 90 grand a year job that i earned with my degree in Addictions Counselling, which is a Bachelor of Health Science, from the University of Lethbridge which is one of the few Universities that offers a four year degree.
Wow, you are such a piece of shit you have to try to bring up your degree of how much money you make as some sort of defense. Am I suppose to be impresses by your pay, your degree from some university I never heard of, or the fact that you ignored the definition in order to try to deny that you are addicted to beer? But please keep telling yourself that stuff matters as you once again go and drink a beer due to your addiction to it.
The degree, wage, university are to show that yes, in fact i do know what i am talking of, enough so that i am being paid an above average salary to do what i do.
also, note that i did not ignore your definition, i used the complete definition, not some segment of the definition. the segment you chose is to show that physical symptoms of addiction also is able to be social or triggered by environmental cues, not only consumption. aka, walking past a liquor store creating cravings, a tobacco user associating coffee and a cigarette and every time they have a coffee they have a craving for nicotine.
it is a section, there is more to it.
but hey, judge me all you want, i do not care. i know my life better than you ever will. i also understand how addiction manifests and continues to develop over time.
Bullshit. You responded multiple times and again tried to prove what a badass you are by listing your wages, degree/university, etc to make your e-penis bigger. But please go back to having to drink beer to make yourself feel better.
I hated flying, couldn't stand it, until I turned 21, get tipsy and fall asleep. I had a 7am flight, bar opened at 6am, ordered a double bloody mary, fell right back asleep on the flight. It's like you can pay $20 for fancy pillows and blankets to be comfortable or just buy a double bloody mary for $10 and be fine
claryn ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:37:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes and international flights are the best cause you usually get free wine and beer. I despise flying and a few years ago I took my longest flight yet from California to Japan. When the flight attendant came around and I ordered red wine, she saw my white knuckled fists clamped on the arm rests and went "I'll make sure to keep em' comin', sugar." Thank you merciful airplane lady.
Yeah screw paying for those overpriced pillows. I just fill a ziplock bag with a shit load of mini bottles and ask for OJ/Seltzer. Plus, I always share with my neighbors which, more often than not, leads to getting free snacks in return.
Definitely. I have a 3 hour layover in Milwaukee, I get there around 8:00 am and will be leaving at 11:00 and I'm sitting my happy ass at the bar for the entire three hours.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:53:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Georgia doesn't allow alcohol sales until 12:30 on Sunday afternoon. I learned this the very very hard way on a layover in Atlanta after an all-nighter in Playa del Carmen.
Truth right here. Nobody bats an eyelash if you order a double shot, chug your beer because they've called you to board, then as soon as the flight's boarded the attendants will bring you/offer you a drink.
in the right circumstances, anything goes at the airport. Dude could walk by with a sock on his head, and you would be able to justify it to yourself somehow.
..."probably on a wicked lay over and forgot his beanie"
Economy class? Drink. Crying baby? Drink. Paying an extra $115 for your bag, just because you're leaving university and have to take your shit home? Drink. Finished university? Drink. Have no fucking clue what you're doing with your life?
Drunk
I knew a few guys that had a long trip from Washington state to Germany. They drank very heavily directly before the flight, hoping to pass out and wake up when it was all over. Sadly, they woke up an hour after falling asleep, with the worst hangovers they've ever had, for the remaining 13 hours or so.
barunut ยท -31 points ยท Posted at 16:37:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I one time got so drunk on a flight from LA to Ft Lauderdale and went to use the bathroom but the line was too long so I just turned to the aisle next to me and began to pee on the family sitting there. I then got put in first class (it was empty) so that I could not disturb anyone else. First person off the flight, and no arrests or repercussions.
Airports are hell. Based on my experiences there are no social rules that apply there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I drove across the continent to go skiing, I stopped at a little restaurant halfway down the mountain in this clearing for some food after a couple hours skiing.
It was lunch time, so I ordered a sandwich and a beer. The waiter immediately goes "Beer?" all judgemental and I'm like "Yeah, beer." like fuck you it's lunch time and I'm on vacation and I'll drink a couple beer and then hurtle down a mountain on waxed sticks at 30mph, because I do what I want.
I realized as I was sitting there sipping my beer that my watch wasn't adjusted for the change in time zone. It wasn't lunch, it was 8:30AM.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man Friday afternoons I fire down a few tall boys before I even touch my lawnmower. I cut my grass on Thursday last week without drinking, and god damn that took forever.
Hiei2k7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True story. I'm post-gaming my yardwork right now.
Radeon3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually just turns into video games. Farm Simulator FTW.
The key is to do all power tool work first. Wake up, have breakfast, then do any hedge-trimming, weed-whacking right away. If the task needs a chainsaw, do that too. That way, you can drink during the other tasks. The ones that won't scar you for life.
Say, laying down sod, pavers, things like that.
If math tought me anything, it was "order of operations"
You would think so, but that has not been my experience. I'm in construction /sales. When I sit down with potential customers, I can pick out the engineers within few minutes by the questions they ask. Most people are operating on emotion and ego.
tried mowing the lawn while drinking a beer, ended up drinking a 12 pack and falling asleep in my porch swing after.... when I woke up I looked at the lawn and my lines were all sorts of fucked up
Kepgnar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. We had a big lawn growing up, so dad would hop on the riding lawnmower with a nice cold beer. By about halfway though he would reach the corner of the fence, where he had strategically pre-placed a second beer to get him through the rest of the mowing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a house off a bloke which had a huuuuge back lawn. Guy had a big ride on mower to mow it. I asked him how long it took to mow that bit: "uhhh, about two beers?"
When you work outside in Florida and you start at 6 AM. I worked concrete jobs that had to finish before noon because the heat of the day would fuck up how the mix would set.
Uh, anybody who lives in midwest/south. It is currently 101 degrees. Oy was 86 at sun up and 93 when my man chores were done today. So, the answer is anyone anywere hot that isn't a giant boob.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
non-redneck, we hire rednecks to mow our lawns for $20
I kid, I kid.
Eight43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must be a redneck. yardwork = beer.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a programmer and it's the same with us. A lunch beer after a solid morning programming (lunch being 1pm-ish usually) isn't unheard of. Not common, but also not frowned upon.
the richer you are the more acceptable it is, you used to pour a friend a drink in business meetings etc.
I also have seen the documentary "Mad Men"
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:23:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roger Sterling: "They say once you start drinking alone, you're an alcoholic. I'm really trying to avoid that" Don Draper: "So I guess I'm helping both of us"
Ah yes that's true. We have 'pie day' on Fridays because it's our most stressful day due to media deadlines, and there's a bakery nearby that has the best meat pies, it's pretty great.
This is true. People often have some drinks while networking at conferences, which are generally still "work" especially because quite often you are speaking or presenting your work while there.
Llim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you were born without parents. When my grandmother died, we moved about 8 moving boxes of alcohol glassware and accessories, and a wine, liquor collection of about 40+ bottles. So many things I've never even heard of. I worked in a bar, with 80+ beers on tap and several shelves of liquor. My grandmother had more variety of glassware and 'tools' then the bar had. That's just apparently how her and all her friends were. Think Mad Men, but more middle class and more drinking.
HRP ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 16:38:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who gives a fuck about productivity? Why do people have to constantly be doing work?
Fucking exactly. Say my family goes up to the cottage; no one sits around enjoying themselves. Always work to be done. Nope, can't relax today, 1500 things must be done by noon, then another 1800 in the afternoon.
Fuck that. I came here to relax for at least an afternoon, if not an entire day. If I wanted to bust my ass, I woulda picked up overtime at work and get paid to work all Saturday.
Work has to be done from time to time, yes. But not all fucking day every day.
HRP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. A few years ago I had this happen when I went to an ex-SO's family's cabin in the middle of nowhere in Michigan. Gotta take care of grandma, gotta do everyone's dishes, gotta fix one of the boats, gotta do this and this and that and that. Her mom felt like a god damned slave driver at some points.
I never went back there again. That was no vacation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because otherwise they can't complain about the guys making minimum wage working their asses off wanting a raise when they themselves would go home after 2 hours.
FUZxxl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:09:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's common in Germany to have a glass of beer for lunch. Courts have ruled that as long as you don't get drunk and don't have to do any tasks that require sobriety (e.g. driving or operating machinery), then that's totally fine and not a valid reason to fire you.
I can't do work in the yard without a beer. If it's hot and I'm putting in fence posts, or painting, mowing, anything really, you'd better believe there's a cold beer next to my tools.
If I have one beer, I'm perfectly fine. It's not enough alcohol to hurt my productivity, and it won't even be that long before the alcohol is totally out of my blood stream.
I get that that's kind of how people perceive it. But it's really dumb.
Because its a declaration that the day cant hold any productivity.
Which is also really stupid, because unless you're drinking like four glasses of wine or doing shots, there's no way you're going to be impaired enough to even notice.
A poor alcoholic is called a drunk; a rich alcoholic is called "eccentric".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, the old shop I worked at, if we were booked dry for the day, we would clean her up spotless, work on our own cars if need be, then sit down and have a beer and talk about how life's going. Boss would still pay us the day, called it team-building.
Surprisingly, lots of mechanics are "in the zone" when working on cars, and don't really talk to each-other unless they need a hand or a tool. I usually jam out to music while I work.
kam0706 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Australian here: what do you mean 'used to'? Totally still a thing here.
Because its a declaration that the day cant hold any productivity.
They're clearly not writers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am way more productive doing garden way slightly drunk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the richer you are the more acceptable it is
Had to drop that in. Can't let anyone forget we're on Reddit.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rivzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He said it's more acceptable, not that only rich people can do it. Unless your GFs dad can't work it's not really acceptable to society that he is drinking all day. A rich CEO who is drinking during a meeting is acceptable because at least they are working. Other than that I'm with ya. I'm a landscaper and cut grass everyday in sc with 95 degree heat. A cold beer is mandatory.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man there is something really unappealing about your writing style.
OMFG its all my favorite stout flavors all in one. Coffee, chocolate, heavy on the malt, heavy on the oats. Know what I'm buying next. Wish it had a little milk in it, but that is a ok.
When I went to Munich I was surprised to see people drinking beer at breakfast. Then a german friend told me it was the norm to have a beer with breakfast.
I've never understood the stigma. Like you said, if it's every day then that is a problem but if you've got all your stuff done, who's to say you can't crack one open at 10 AM? I did it yesterday and it was glorious.
Dart06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hardly ever drink beer/liquor. Even so, after hanging my tv on the wall, painting our bedroom and mowing the lawn I definitely enjoyed a brewski even though it wasn't noon yet. That shit hit the spot.
I know people who work at offices with beer on tap. I think you need to hold off until at least 3 or 4 before settling down with a beer. Or wine, which they also have there
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:06:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work nights. Every Friday a group of us would leave work, and head to a bar that was open in the morning. We would order up breakfast, along with drinks. We always got strange looks from people walking by outside. I guess they thought 9:30am was too early to be drinking.
I just went on a trip to Munich and the drinking culture there was amazing. It was like everyone was lightly buzzed by 4 in the afternoon but hardly anybody was rowdy drunk. Drinking beer is just a relaxing thing to do in the afternoon.
Nothing like a cold citrusy IPA on a nice summer morning. I get up early as shit and if I'm done with chores at 10:30 am on a Saturday then fuck it, why shouldn't I enjoy a beer?
I think it's also important to acknowledge the difference between having a beer or two at 11 am and like... having all the beers all day starting from 11 am. That is what I consider day drinking. I'll sit out on my porch on a nice day at around noon and have a beer. Why the fuck not?
My girlfriend and I go to a local bar every Sunday around lunch. We go in there, order some appetizers and I slam some heavy IPAs back. I actually enjoy drinking in the afternoon because I'm not tired and if it is in public, there's not a bunch of 21-25 year olds trying to getting shitfaced smashed. I love my afternoon drinking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an ardent golfer, it doesn't shock me to have the first beer at 8:00 AM as the tournament kicks off. Last year some guys asked me to do a charity scramble with them. All I knew about it was that it was free. I showed up a bit on the late side and had to hurry to get all my stuff together. Then a little before 8:00 AM, while they were reading the rules to everyone, I grabbed a beer out of my cooler, looked at some random person standing next to me, and said "It's noon somewhere!" and popped it open, taking a nice swig.
He looked at me aghast. I thought "Hmmm, I'm going to be discrete until I know more about this tournament." Found one of my playing partners, asked him about the beer thing, and he said "Well, I'm not drinking but go ahead if you want. It's a charity for alcohol addiction, the guy who puts it on lost his 4-year-old son when some drunk plowed into their car."
So jealous of people who can day drink :[. It just drains me, especially in the summer, when most day drinking happens. I went to a July 4th breakfast party at my gf's parents' house because the annual parade passes by their house. Everyone's having mimosas and bloody Mary's, and I'm just the person drinking coffee and OJ. Alcohol just makes me so tired
albc92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Sometimes I enjoy having a glass of wine (or two) while I'm getting ready, cleaning, cooking etc. If I'm not going to drive i'm okay. I don't get drunk and I don't do it often, DO NOT TELL ME IT'S NOT OK!
Oh I agree. I don't drink very often but on the occasions that I do, I just have a nice drink when I get the feeling for it (that's usually when it's warm and I'm outside having a good day). A couple of times I've been with people and ordered a cocktail before 12 and people looked at me as if I was mental. And they're usually the people that drink way more often than me :S.
I wouldn't consider enjoying a beer at 11 am daydrinking....Daydrinking would be like 6+ starting at 11am and continuously drinking throughout the day....Hence the word daydrinking
This right here, never drank early before but recently went on a train journey to see a friend about 2 hours away, had a pint at 11:15am and it was damn enjoyable
SilasX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally had the first beer (and second, technically) in my life at lunch in the pub with my colleagues today. I dunno, somehow I feel your body can more easily process alcohol during the day rather than later at night. So really it's only being responsible to knock 'em down while the sun's up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh... 11am... Tailgate for football (American) starts at 6:30 AM and only the cook should be sober at 8:00 AM. You just have to remember it's a marathon not a sprint.
I totally agree. Especially on a day off, nice summer day, at home alone, browsing reddit, and listening to music/podcast. Perfect time to just crack open a nice crispy cold natty light.
I work in hotels and sometimes have to pull an overnight shift. My 7 AM is everyone else's 5 PM. You're damn right I'm going to have a drink when I get home, especially if I had a bad day.
That's why Jesus invented Bloody Marys and Mimosas.
Shadax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when you need to get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When we go duck hunting, we start with shots of whiskey as a wake-me-up drink and then get started drinking beer. At 5 in the morning. We get drunk. Duck hunting is really fun.
Nothing better than going out on a long run, coming back, showering, eating a small meal/watering up, then sitting outdoors with a beer (or two or three or four).
That's why when I wake up before noon, I'll just keep an eye on the clock and wait for it to hit 12:01 PM, because alcoholics drink in the morning, so if I wait until 12:01 PM everyday, I'm not alcoholic, right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that not socially acceptable in the US? (or wherever you're from if not the US, sorry)
In France we call it "l'apรฉritif" or l'apรฉro for short. A drink and sometime snacks before a meal. Beer/wine/pastis and some chips/crackers/peanuts
A Bloody Mary is a fantastic breakfast (as long as you don't have to drive anywhere). Just sayin'.
...Damn, it's been a while since I did that. Got a camping trip coming up right after my birthday; I'm gonna have to get the fixings. I know I've got celery salt and Worstechire sauce around already....
Come to Germany and enjoy our wonderful Biergarten
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funnily enough, the often adored Churchill was a meaaaaaaaaan alcoholic. Started the day with whiskey and soda, ended it with whiskey and in between whatever had alcohol.
I like those weekend days where I have nothig going on and am feeling quite alright and just think "fuck it, I'm getting some wine."
Ive found that drinking alone is only oroperly fun if you only do it occassionally. Ive been through phases where I drank quite a bit and it quickly gets boring. That first time that you do some day drinking for ages is usually quite fun, but if you decide you'll do it the next day or next weekend, not so much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1:20pm on a Monday and I'm drinking a beer while I type this.
Used to work graveyard shift and I would get home at 7am. The neighbors would give me the shittiest looks when they left for work, seeing me drinking a beer while watering my lawn.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I picked up a 15 pack of beers at around 10:30am yesterday, got a few looks while walking home. SUNDAY'S MY ONLY DAY OFF I'LL GET HAMMERED IF I WANT.
Zonattu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a finn: Day drinking is socially unacceptable?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I like living in Wisconsin. Drinking a beer is just seen as another drink around here. It's not like every time you have a drink it's to party or get fucked up. It's just an accepted culture here.
I was just told that so long as you don't start before 10am (assuming you have slept) then it is a non-issue. If you feel the need to start before 10am then you have a problem.
I never understood why some people think it's unacceptable to have a beer in the morning, yet those same people will have a Bloody Mary or a Mimosa with breakfast.
I worked nights and I'd got o a bar for happy hour at 8 o clock. Then went to a market with friends and bought a shitty bottle of rum for rum and coke.
A friend of mine and I both work night shift; we get off work at 7 AM. He likes to tell a story where he went to a restaurant after work for "breakfast" and ordered a beer. Apparently the waitress gave him shit--"Sir! It's not acceptable to be drinking at this hour!"
Our family vacations usually included fishing. So I would be out on the boat at 5 am, wondering why I wasn't still sleeping. Either my Dad or one of his buddies would get a beer out of the cooler around 8 am and announce that is was "noon somewhere!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if the invisible man's farts are visible and his shits invisible.
Imagine stepping in said invisible shit, slipping on it smearing it all over the back of your shirt, and wondering why you smell shit for the rest of the day.
Oh, invisible man, you prankster you.
nadarko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that would be silly. We just have a pre-fart division.
BAD10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I came up with a movie idea based on this when we were kids. We called it Technicolor Toots.
Man, I saw a guy on my commute home on Friday...I swear he must have lost his finger up there...didn't have tinted windows...was at a stoplight with everyone looking at him.
...He was probably farting too. I couldn't see that though.
Exactly. I drive a large truck so its really hard to see in unless you are really trying to peek in, like some kind of weirdo. I got stuck in traffic for over 25 mins not to long ago so I started doing the same thing I would do at home if I had 25 mins to kill... You can probably guess what I did. Nobody around me could see me but I could see all of them. It was kind of thrilling but my passenger was mortified
I'm more of a toilet nose picker, TBH. There's tissue right there and I've got my own private little stall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but then you're clearing out your nostrils and getting an extra good sniff of the duece you just dropped.
No thanks, I'll wait until later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half the reason all my rear windows are limo tinted is so that the angle from which you can see me picking me nose is reduced to basically the same angle at which I can see you.
The other half of the reason is to maximize the time which I can spend singing in the car without anyone being able to see me.
I don't know why normal people get their windows tinted, but nose picking and singing was top of my list.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah, shit. I just submitted this same thing without reading the comments.
If you don't pick your nose in the car, you're a liar.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get realllllllllllllllly bad amounts of snot up my nose, but because my nose is so dry all the time and I have breathing issues it dries up and I cant blow it out. .
The only way to get it out is to pick it out, absolutely nothing wrong with it
I've learned that in Germany, your car is considered to be private property. So you can actually drive around naked. It is however not allowed to step in/out of your car naked...
No.. Not on the seat! Farts have bits of poo liquid in it that sticks to clothes and foam and stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an office chair. Cheap wal-mart thing.
After about five years of farting in it I finally had to throw it away. Every time I sat down and compressed what was left of the foam, it would shoot fart smells out into the air.
same with picking the o' teefers. Sorry it's 5pm and I haven't gotten to brush since this morning when I left home and now I have stuff on my teeth, imma scrape it off right quick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had this theory with having sex with my girlfriend in a parking lot. Long story short, your car is not your house.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy the grossed out looks from the college aged girls. It just adds a show that I would normally have to pay a low class prostitute for.
Hubley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish farting was acceptable everywhere. Sure it may not be the most pleasant thing to smell but it has to be done. Holding a fart in sucks. And let's be honest, they're hilarious
Yes, because your house is two feet from someone else's house and has these huge sheets of glass that make it impossible to miss anything going on in the house.
Do you own or rent the land under your car everywhere it goes? No? Then you're not on private property, you're on public property. The road is a public place, and the law clearly reflects this. The road isn't yours alone. Your rights end where mine begin.
I'm glad that someone was brave enough to post the real answer. As long as you aren't the kid in elementary school who permanently has his finger two knuckles up his nose, who the hell cares?
JamJarre ยท 1855 points ยท Posted at 15:20:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nothing quite matches the feeling of pulling out one that's unexpectedly connected to your brain stem
Hells yeah
Just, you know, put that shit in a tissue afterwards
Edit: this is now my highest rated post. I hope you're proud, Ma!
Notice that you generally get the cold/flu virus less often than those around you? IIRC the article he is referring too said that eating your bogers helps build your immune system to the bacteria that are often present in your nose.
Is that true? Because I have noticed that I get colds and flu waaaay less than anyone around me. Only sick days I've ever taken was when I was hungover.
Well it isn't exactly a well studied topic in regards to eating bookers but it is what the doctor in the article proposed. It makes sense when you think about it as our immune system is very reactive in terms of what it is prepared for and actively producing anti bodies*.
The idea is that reintroducing old pathogens present in your snot through ingestion may help boost your immune system. I don't believe that there is any conclusive evidence regarding this though so who knows if it's true.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did read that it helps keep you from getting ulcers, since it adds mucus to your stomach lining. Though I'd imagine there are other things that would contribute more to this. Like swallowing your snot when you have a runny/stuffy nose instead of spitting it out.
Well in the past 6 years I've only gotten sick to the point of throwing up once, and I eat em. Well, at least I've only gotten sick to the point of throwing up because of an illness once. Alcohol induced vomit doesn't count in this study.
It's all fun and games until you go in for a kiss once, and there's one on your teeth that you missed and it ends up in their mouth. Then you have to burn your house for the insurance money so you can afford to move overseas where you become a hitman. You get really good, and make a name for yourself. Then Nicolas Cage approaches you to learn about his upcoming role in Bangkok Dangerous 2, but he doesn't just have questions ready, so he insists on having a long conversation over dinner. But he's still not finished talking when you're ready to leave, so he follows you home. You just want the media attention to go away so you invite him inside, and he ends up staying the night. You make love Nic Cage style which is mind-blowing, but he's still there in the morning which is awkward since you have a contract today. He tries to follow so you give him the slip. While you've got your target in your sights he corners you and accuses you of cheating on him. While you two bicker, your target gets away. So you have to flee the country, since the organization you worked for is after you. You two retire early to live out a peaceful life on a farm in Minnesota when the hitman finally tracks you down. You die in his arms while he screams "WHY? WHY? WHY?" for an average three minutes and twelve seconds per syllable and generally overreacts, in your opinion. Being a huge story for a small town, the news tracks down anyone who might know you. They eventually find someone and the next day the headline reads: "Booger eater killed in hit." You'll never live it down.
But I get to shack up with Nic Cage. You aren't doing a lot to sway me away from eating my nose goo. Even if your version of the story ends up with me being dead. Still shagged Nicholas Cage.
Also, good read. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. 10/10. Did read again
tdt0005 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:59:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know if you're kidding, but I too have never understood why it is considered gross. It's dried mucus. Snot is in your mouth all the time. It's free and it tastes good. Who gives a fuck? Just don't do it in front of people.
In all seriousness, there is a drastic difference between mucus in your throat and eating boogers. Just like there is a difference between spit and that horrid dried spit that collects at the sides of your mouth. Or the difference between your mom and a really dried out version of your mom.
But the whole point is to get them away from your sinuses. If you put them in your mouth that's like swallowing the loogey you snorted from your sinuses to your mouth. Pointless
I think I have just as much right to personally think it's gross as you do to do it. As long as I don't let my opinion of it negatively affect you, I don't see why you automatically say fuck me..
It's always been something I've done. Never thought about it until now. It's only wrong because it isn't socially acceptable. Despite the fact way more people do it and deny it. If everyone ate their snots it wouldn't be wrong. It would just be another thing that humans do.
Who doesn't? I only use a tissue if I realllllly am trying hard to not to be judged
kjata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to use the corpses of pathogens inside them as training dummies for my immune system. Or let the horrifically acidic environment inside my stomach destroy it. I'm not totally clear on which happens first.
rmoss20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
S0ny666 ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 15:38:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go moralizing again. I'll put them wherever I want, thank you. Usually I'll put them between my index finger and thumb and gently flick them towards a corner. If they for some reason doesn't make it so far, I'm always wearing socks.
No, no, the answer you're looking for is "I put them on the wall next to the toilet to add to the collection. Or I call the dog over and "scratch his back."
PRMan99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:50:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We found the guy that flicks them onto the stall wall. Get him!
You wouldn't even know. If I just took a piss and didn't wash my hand and we shook hands, you'd have no way of knowing. It wouldn't affect you in the slightest. Why waste precious fucks on something so insignificant?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I think the issue with picking your nose is that unless you are within arms reach of a sink, you are rubbing your germs all over your fingers and then interacting with the world. It is the same as if you spit on your hands and then go about your business. I don't think anyone thinks people don't pick their nose, but it should be done in a location where cleaning up with soap and water is the very next step you take. usually that means you are in the bathroom, which is a private place. That same goes for flatulence. Everyone does it, but doing it in public is rude because the odor is unpleasant. This is why it is considered bad manners, not because it is something that only disgusting people do, but because doing it in public is selfishly inflicting something unpleasant on those around you, just like picking your nose exposes them to your private petri dish of bacteria without regard to their well being or comfort.
That's very public spirited of you, but my issue is the opposite, selfish reason. My nose is an open conduit into my body. I'm not sticking my fingers in there and introducing every germ I've picked up from everything I've touched directly into my mucus membrane! I don't even rub my eyes with my fingers.
This is more compelling to me than the germs I leave, because:
1. I'm already immune to all of those,
2. As long as people who touch them are smart enough to avoid touching their face, they're not too harmful.
I agree with you on that, I was just saying why there is good reason to stigmatize public nose picking. The first thing I do when I walk in the door from outside is wash my hands because the world is so gross.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I love doing it in the shower. Just clear everything out of both nostrils and they go right down the drain. Spend the day with nice clean nasal passages that don't make me want to hide behind a book to get something out of them.
Honest to god, I don't pick my nose. Not for any particular reason, either. I remember doing it as a child, but I don't know when I stopped. Should I start again?
I mean it depends how old you are. It might be a little late in the game to try and pick it up, but hell you can only try! People start learning other languages, how to play instruments, all kinds in their later years.
I mean, you'll probably never be pro, but then it's always been about the amateur picking game anyway. That's where the real heart of it is.
Ask your friend to do it for you, just so you can relearn good technique.
290077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't. It's a wonderful way to get nosebleeds
pmf1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly can't even comprehend this! What if you feel something all crusty up your nostril? I mean... sometimes there's just stuff that you CAN'T blow out... and it NEEDS to get out!
I have to admit that I also do it. BUT!! only if I know that I am by myself (at home or in the bathroom). I think it's just really disgusting if someone does it in public. Use a napkin ffs.
I love getting that big crusty fcking shit out of my nose. Its nearly oddlysatisfying. And btw, just with blowing, your nose is not getting nearly as clean as by picking.
If that's ok then what about picking your ass? Or any other part of your body?
amsplur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this. I just can't think of a better way to get those boogers out other than my finger. I dispose of it properly and wash my hands after digging for gold.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a compulsive picker, I chose a stressful profession and I'm just about to move into the real world so it's kind of intensified. I had a job interview last December. Got all gussied up, put on my best face, did the polite courteous professional thing all day, never once raised a finger to my nostrils. I got back to the hotel room and realized it'd been a minute so I took the plunge and pulled out a most bountiful harvest. Like coma boogers. I could feel it slide off the back of my eyeballs. uuunnnngghhhh. All around very good day. Got the job, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone's got boogs so just dig in and be done with it, I say
This is the first one I'm not down with. I can guarantee you that if I see you picking your nose, I absolutely will not touch anything I see you touch or take anything you try to hand me.
17Hongo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So fucking satisfying. Especially when you get a gigantic one that goes way up into your sinus.
As long as you're not wiping on me, my stuff, or something I might touch, go ahead and dig that sucker out. It's really satisfying to get a big one, like picking a scab but without the bleeding.
Some people are just so blatant about it though. My cousin would sit there with anybody and stick his index finger up his nose and dig for a good 20 secs.
I'm fine with people picking their nose, it's when they fondle the booger for minutes on end between their fingers and then flick it across the room. I can't be in the same room as anyone who does that. I just feel ill.
Move to Asia and you'll change your mind. I always thought I was okay with picking your nose, but then I moved to a country where it IS socially acceptable and it's actually quite disgusting to see people knuckle deep in their nose while you're sitting beside them on the train.
I try to clean out my nose everyday during my shower. It's my one opportunity during the day to really do some digging. But even with that, I still find the need to do some nostril matinence during the rest of the day.
If you're going to do it then do it in the washroom in a sanitary way and wash your hands. Everyone also uses the washroom but they don't do it in public and they wash their hands after.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
According to Frozen, all men do it.
The really hard question to answer truthfully is how many eat it?
hug me.... my thing has always been "it's not like I'm picking someone else's nose"...I mean you wipe your ass daily and that's okay..truly it's okay to stick my finger in my nose from time to time. And plus it's so satisfying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only do it using a tissue or TP.
timf3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why should I have to go find a bathroom to hide in when all I wanna do is to be able to breathe? Yeah, blowing the nose just doesn't get the job done, either. -Sigh-
Yes people were appalled when I wasn't married at 30. They were more shocked to find out that I didn't have kids. When they asked why I didn't have kids I explained that I wasn't married.
Unfortunately, I'm seeing that if you're a female, never married, no kids and over 33, men start to wonder what's wrong with YOU. Couldn't be the fact that I know how to use my birthcontrol pills and that I just haven't met the right person yet. Nah, something is wrong with ME.
I'm a guy, but I've even had people ask if I'm capable of having kids. Most people these days Enti think it's normal to have unprotected sex and have unwanted kids with someone you aren't even with. So weird to me.
I've been hearing similar lately, as a guy. Ladies seem ok with the fact that I don't have any kids but 30 and never married? Apparently it means I'm simply not "marriage material."
I got married when I was 28, but I felt really young to be doing something like that. It's odd that people would think it's weird not to marry in your 20s.
Marriage in general. Maybe not totally what you meant, I mean, my girlfriend and I have been together for over eight years now, but despite some mild pressure from the Muslim side of her family we never felt the need to validate our love through an external agent.
gullale ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:47:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to put another perspective out there, my wife and I didn't marry to "validate our love through an external agent" at all.
It was more of an occasion to bring our friends and family together (very few, just over 30 people) and celebrate our life together. We'd been living together for 4 years, dating for 8 (almost 12 now), and it was pretty cool to have our union legally recognized and call ourselves husband and wife in front of the people we love. Our love for each other was never in question or in seek of validation. And the legal aspect of it turns out to be pretty convenient when you least expect it (like when you arrive at a country and have to go through immigration, some countries won't let couples go together if they're not married).
ocon60 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:57:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
some countries won't let couples go together if they're not married
I think they mean "get processed together by immigration" - so you go to separate booths to get your passport checked etc.
If that is the case, I'm pretty sure it happens. My ex-fiancee and I had to go through immigration separately when we came to the US because I'm American and she's Swiss. If we were married that wouldn't be the case.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Need some kind of proof.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:20:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me that is what a wedding is about. It is one of the only times in life you can declare your love for your SO without people being disgusted by your happiness.
I get the same crap being married. I'm always being told how stupid it is to be married at my age (I'm 24, married at 19). Its amazing that so many strangers know how my whole life will end up lol
Believe me, I still sit down sometimes and think "holy shit I'm married". I sometimes forget there is a legal document keeping us together, because it just feels so natural to be with him. It's hard to explain.
I wish more people understood this. You don't have to get married. A relationship doesn't have to result in marriage. Especially if you've done it a couple times already. Just stop.
I got married young and divorced quickly. I ended up engaged a while later and that relationship ended. I'm over a year and a half removed from that now and I have to say I don't think marriage is for me. I'm currently dating a polyamorous guy and I have to say knowing that he will never want to move in with me is one of the best parts of the entire thing. Traditional relationships aren't for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:32:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness this! My partner and I's family won't stop trying to pressure us to be married, when in reality we probably won't. Marriage is not the reason we're together, the partnership is.
I always thought it was a waste that long term couples just don't get married, not for any moral reason just because of the tax benefits and family visitation rights you gain if something happens. Hell my parents just got married after being together for 13 years although despite me being 24 my Stepdad still needs to adopt me in order for us to have visitation rights in case one of us gets sick.
attrox_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:33:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Google up marriage penalty. The tax benefit is a myth that keep getting thrown around. I just got married and my tax bracket goes up due to our combine income.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot more legal benefits too. Here in Australia we have law protecting defactos as well but I bet it never occurs to people they have to prove they are defactos.
Nothing better than discussing your sexual habbits with a judge...
In reality marriage and divorce are a means to protect property rights. The tradition is beautiful but the protection of legal rights should not be downplayed. People should be grateful, I don't understand the logic of those who "dont want government involved".
I would rather have a referee than a free for all when it comes to relationship break down. Especially a long term relationship with children and property.
This is how I feel about having kids. They're not for me. I don't want them, and I get a lot of shit for it. Yes, my husband, myself, and our cats are still a family. No, we won't regret it.
I can't tell you how many times I've had someone look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'm single and not looking to date a girl right now. I guess being a 20-something year old guy in the Christian community is not ok and I'm offending Jesus if I don't get married before 25.
I go in stages. There were a few years in my late teens and early 20s that I didn't care about being single (and enjoyed being alone), but the last couple years (and now) I feel quite lonely.
When we first got together, I really, really wanted to get married - having that whole 'Princess For A Day' white wedding thing was all I thought about. He proposed to me after we'd been together for two years, and I of course accepted. I spent the next year or so obsessing over wedding plans, but one day my whole perspective on things changed.
I realised that it would simply be a waste of money having a massive wedding, and that I would prefer to do something more lasting with the money, like buying a house.
My views on the whole wedding/marriage thing have completely changed in the three years following that, as well. I have become more immersed in the world of Feminism, and... yeah...
I no longer feel the need to get married, to feel that we've "validated" our love and commitment towards one another. We know how much we mean to one another, otherwise we wouldn't still be together.
I'm sure your individualism is so great for you daughter. Great job. Everybody knows that disconnected parents and weak parental roles truly are the best situation for kids.
Ebriate ยท 420 points ยท Posted at 18:19:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watching children play at the park, especially as a man. I am a father who's son has grown up. I really enjoy watching kids play, giggling carefree and using their imaginations and reminiscing how happy I was at that age.
Stopping by a park on a nice day alone and ping this gets you all the pedophile looks and makes you feel horrible.
What ever happened to being able to enjoy the park as a man alone for God's sake?
And then everything is too small. I want a grown up sized slide and a grown up sized jungle gym. And a ball pit that doesn't have used needles and diapers at the bottom!
33a5t ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:49:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With all do respect, no drug user who shoots up in the ball pit is gonna leave their needle there. They need that shit to hit again at the next McDonald's!
If your interested check out what EQ (Emotional Quotient) is, it's exploration has really began to question what we call intelligence. It actually correlates with success far more than IQ. and it's learn-able.
"You sold someone marijuana? YOU FUCKING DISGRACE! life in prison" "You raped someone? Don't do it again okay? 10 years" - The american judicial system
Please note I have no idea what time you get for rape or drugs
Weed, on the other hand, can be escalated from a possession charge, which is a misdemeanor in some states into intent to sell if you have two bags (happened to a few people I know). Some states suck more than others, but some states will put you in jail for up to 4-5 years for 10$ worth of weed, more if you happen to have it in two bags, are 1000 feet from a school and are around a minor. (state directory of marijuana laws available at http://norml.org/states)
Don't get me started on how the police actually operate in (or atleast many parts of) the USA.
Aktve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never understood this, you're an adult and you want to go to the park... so go to the park. Get on the swings, take a trip down the slide. You really think some helicopter parent is going to call the police because you're enjoying yourself? I'm 26 and I go to parks often and I've literally never had a problem. InB4 step 1.
First of all many parks have signs saying anyone above 16-18 are not allowed to use the swings and slides etc. Secondly there is a big social stigma attached to it and people will give you dirty looks, parents approach you and talk to you like you are some kind of pedophile and yes people do call the police on you, albeit its rare. This has happened to a friend of mine before.
Aktve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well personally I have never seen signs like that (CA) and I have also never experienced that sort of stigma. I understand it exists but I think it gets exaggerated a bit.
Stopping by a park on a nice day alone and ping this gets you all the pedophile looks and makes you feel horrible.
Hell, even stopping by the park alone with your son gets you these glares. "So sorry ladies, I want to take an active part in my son's life and mom isn't feeling well at the moment, so if you'd kindly fuck off and go back to your smart phones that'd be great."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:01:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
meh. there was this nice old guy who always used to go on his daily walk and sit on the bench and watch the kids play. I'd see him there all the time when I brought my kids and he'd always say "such a joy to raise a family, isn't it?" I thought he was sweet, not creepy. If you're wearing a trenchcoat and staring that's one thing but I see childless people at the park all the time, walking a dog, feeding the birds, whatever and no parent has ever said anything. I'm Canadian if that makes a difference?
Ebriate ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:09:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old people usually get a pass.
Being in your 40s and you get the perv stares. It's pretty sad that people just can't enjoy the company of other people because of the shit bags that fuck it up for everyone.
You're absolutely right. But be honest...if you were at the park with your little kids and there was some guy sitting there with no kids, you'd keep an eye on him.
Absolutely! My nursing instructor who worked in our psych prison told us all to watch out for the single man/woman hanging around the pool/park during a time when it's predominantly small children. If you don't have kids, you don't really have business being at family swim. He also told us to watch out for the single strangers who approach you when you're with your kids, as they will often make friendly with mom and dad, to get a good look at your child. But of course, many years of working with sex offenders, and hearing their stories, can make you much more paranoid.
I dunno. I'm a 25 year old guy working at a day care and parents don't mind at all. In fact they like me more than the ladies because I actually have fun with them.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:46:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a guess, but most day cares are fairly busy environments. You're not generally alone with their kids. I would wager many parents would feel differently if you applied to be a nanny.
What do you mean by "have fun with them!?" You fuck kids, don't you!? /s
In all seriousness, I'm afraid that if I ever have children, we'll be at a point of paranoia that I won't be able to be out with my kid without someone freaking out over it.
Ebriate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. And what's even more fucked up is most of what I see in the media is middle aged female teachers banging the kids and getting probation for it. Yes some get a harsh sentence but a majority just get divorced.
bring a dog, if you're walking a dog you can do what you want.
Ebriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but if you're on lunch break and just want to sit at the park on a bench, eat your lunch on a nice day and watch the kids play you're still branded a perv.
Or, you get hit on by the moms and that's not so bad.
Had this today. Work as a security guard. Got into an elevator with a mom and her siblings. Smiled at a child in a stroller, she immediately pulled the top and blocked my view of the kid.
Just kinda awkwardly stared at her for a few moments, then got saved by getting to my floor.
This is such a weird/harmful taboo. I give almost everyone a friendly smile, and assuming it's anything more than that, let alone something duplicitous or worse, is just poisonous. There's a difference between being defensive of those you love, and assuming everyone you meet is out to harm you. Paranoid assholes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:59:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stranger Danger. It's all over the news because it sells. FEAR!!!
Talking about sex, menstruation, any sexual health in general without feeling the need to hide my pads or whisper so i dont educate anybody on normal bodily functions. God forbid we remove potentially harmful taboos that are in place for no reason.
It wasn't until I really started dating that I realized how stigmatized women can feel about their bodily functions. My first girlfriend had an irregular period and was hesitant to even tell me at first. Then she looked like I just hit her with a frying pan when I asked about the particulars.
To me it was no different than if she had a skin condition or something - you care about someone, you want to understand what's happening and work with it (so long as you're not intruding about it).
She couldn't believe how comfortable I was with learning about it, but part of being a partner is being cool with knowing and understanding your partner's body as best as you can. I'd expect her to do the same for me
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:43:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an irregular period and this is so sweet. To be honest I was going to tell any future significant other about that anyway because it's a pretty big part of my health, but it's nice to know that women who were socialized to view menstrual health as a taboo have SO's that inquire about it anyways.
Kudos for you for doing that. A guy friend of mine was looking through my purse to find my phone and hand it to me when I heard a girly scream and looked down to see a tampon on the floor.
It's incredible how uncomfortable men are with feminine products sometimes.
My dad is this way. I'm a boy stuck between two sisters, so I got used to those topics fast. But whenever it happens to come up he get's super uncomfortable. It's like bro you have two daughters periods aren't magical.
My poor father has three daughters and still can't say the word "bra" in front of us.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 00:37:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was raised by my dad (my mom died and he was pretty old and conservative), and yea...the internet and my weird friend Traci from down the block basically had to reassure me that I wasn't dying. Good Guy Traci also helped me steal my first training bra from Walmart because I would have had to ask my dad for the money, and I think I would have rather jumped off a cliff than tell him what I needed the money for. Good times.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:05:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad will get up and leave the room when tampon commercials come on on TV. One time I came downstairs in a sports bra (because yoga) and he made me put an apron on to cover up. My dad is weird.
Tuss ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:43:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad went and bought my first pads and tampons when I started to get my periods.
Yesterday he also pressed me to tell him what I used my soldering iron for (fix a broken cable on my vibrator)...
Pretty sure that just by alluding to the facts that you get a period and also use soldering irons to fix your stuff, half of Reddit just got a boner... Or maybe it was just me.
Tuss ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been a handywoman. Leaky drain under the sink? I fix. Broken drawers? I fix. Need a computer? I fix. Need fish? I fix. Something broken in the car? I can try to fix.
I generally think that more people need to try to fix things more often. Being on a tight budget also forces one to try to fix stuff rather than replace or get someone else to fix it.
I was kinda joking, but kinda not. That's awesome! I'm the same way (for the money reason, but also because it's interesting to learn new shit and why not), and I lament the way shit seems to be increasingly harder to fix diy style these days.
Tuss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:34:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it really sucks. Especially particle board. Damn the person who invented that shit.
Let me get this straight, so daughters shouldn't be able to talk to their parents or around their parents about natural things that happen to their bodies? Teach kids to shut up about this shit around their parents and they'll never open up to anybody very easily again, lemme tell you.
issius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is where my dad was kind of the man while I was in high school. If he ever had any issues with feminine products (he is one of three boys) my mom had made him get over them by the time my period started. My parents were divorced and I spent a good chunk of my middle and high school years living with my dad and it was never weird asking him to pick me up pads on his way home from work or something.
How funny. Growing up, my dad was the one who would go to the store and get pads and things for me. He even had a code word for them. If he was going to the store he'd say, "Hey Pudinnhead, do you need any sailboats?" I'd let him know one way or the other. He had no qualms with it.
pfff once when we were at my trailer for a couple weeks in the summer, i ran outta tampons. Couldn't drive at that age, had to ask my dad to run into town and get some for me. He acted like I had asked him to retrieve a bag of human poop for me or something.
Then he went, and came back with pads. I was like what the heck, I said tampons! He informed me that he asked a teenage girl working at the grocery store "what's the best thing to buy for a 15 year old girl on her period"
"what's the best thing to buy for a 15 year old girl on her period"
I woulda sent that sucker back home with a box of q tips, some lemon juice and cola ("it helps with cramps!"), and a package of Depends. Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer.
How is that a dumb question? What am I missing? What's a poor dad trying to help his poor hormone machine supposed to ask? Please help me understand why you're not an insensitive fuck.
She asked her dad for tampons. He proceeded to disregard what she wanted and asked some stranger what a girl on her period would want, ignoring that everyone is different and this stranger would have no idea what his daughter prefers.
Well that makes sense. What about all that other stuff? (Hopefully it's painfully obvious that I'm a boy) I thought you were being kinda mean and not helping the girl and her dad at all. Depends? Really?
I was just being a snark. When someone sends you to the store with a request, it's silly to ask some stranger what they might want. And if you're a forty year old man who has reproduced you should have a basic idea of what she needs even if you forget. After all there's only two options: pads and tampons.
Depends are often in the same aisle or the next one over and have pretty packaging. If he's really that in the dark I could see him being like "look honey, super absorbent!" and her being mortified.
Although fun fact, those Depends pads are actually fantastic for post partum bleeding because they're way more absorbent than regular pads. I bought some after my son was born.
And if you're a forty year old man who has reproduced you should have a basic idea of what she needs even if you forget. After all there's only two options: pads and tampons.
Good point, I learned this pretty early on in my dating life when I went to get tampons for a laid-up girlfriend. Also, that depends thing is a fun fact, lol. Thanks =)
Hahahaha ok just to clear things up he didn't disregard what I asked for, he just legitimately didn't know the difference. And he asked for help from someone he thought would know best (IN THE WEIRDEST WAY POSSIBLE) and came home probably thinking "fuck yeah nailed it, I'm the coolest dad"
Which he is. But not on that day. I CANT SWIM WITH PADS, DAD, GOD!
My dad had one older sister. He has FOUR DAUGHTERS and a wife. The topic makes him so uncomfortable. I was out to breakfast with my parents and was trying to be taboo that I needed to stop at the store for "products" because I had forgotten to bring some with me.
The worst was the fact that I had lost my debit card, and at 23 years old had to have my dad buy my tampons and liners. Oh lord he turned red, handed me 20 dollars and scooted away quickly with the coolant he needed for his truck.
He has four daughters, the oldest of which went through puberty 15 years ago. He should be used to it now. He got all embarrassed when my mom gave me the worst talk ever basically "You'll start to bleed from your privates, when that happens.. see me" and then when it did i got nothing more that "Tampons steal your virginity" which I didn't know what that was until high school... or basically anything about sex...
DeltaF1 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same situation. My father's parents were very formal, and so even just mentioning sex or relationships gets him uncomfortable. My female friends can't gross me out by talking about their periods, since I grew up with all sisters.
Easier said than done. I've have three teenage daughters and no sons and yes, it makes me super uncomfortable. Talking about the female menstrual cycle with another adult, while I still find it unpleasant, is much easier than being around these conversations where my teenagers are involved. Maybe it is because of my very conservative upbringing, I am not sure. I'm not justifying my irrational discomfort, but simply admitting it. As my daughters have approached adulthood it has gotten a little better but the frequency of these subjects being brought up in my presence has also decreased.
My step dad puts any topics about women in the "filing cabinet". We aren't allowed to talk about periods, bras, or anything else about being a woman in his presence. Very obnoxious because when my sisters and I visit there are 5 women around. Hard not to talk about it.
I'm not talking while you're eating, though. If we are in the house (pretend you're my brother) and I need pads (and I'm suddenly younger, can't drive, and financially dependent), I'm going to say "hey, I need to get some pads because my period is coming up and I only have one left which, we know, lasts maybe two hours."
Your itchy nuts are completely different, because that would equate to my vagina being itchy. Which tbh I think I've had conversations with friends about how guys itching their nuts in public isn't too big of a deal, but girls developed a whole subtle-dance to satisfy the itch.
I think mentioning your period specifically when requesting pads is analogous to mentioning poop specifically when requesting toilet paper. In fact blood is grosser than poop, and less commonly seen in healthy people, so it's even a bit worse a taboo.
Literally over half of the population bleeds/sheds in this manner. It has nothing to do with poor health, so you're literally adding to the stigma. In fact, it's a huge sign that something is dangerously wrong if you stop having a period.
I'd argue pooping is another thing we need to get over having issues with, especially since some very serious things that can be wrong with someone are caught early because of a change in bowel habits. God forbid your kid is pooping blood or hasn't pooped in a week and they don't tell you because "it's gross".
It's natural ands it's not gross in a clinical sense but why do girls refuse to accept the fact that phlegmy blood secreted from your pussy is kind of an uncomfortable topic when discussed in any detail beyond "i have my period"
Both blood and feces have disease risks, inspire a disgust reaction in people, and are impolite to discuss in public. This is true universally, across many different human cultures and time periods. You have given no reason the analogy is inappropriate that I have not refuted. The analogy is entirely appropriate.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have one: Feminism.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:15:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh he's right though guys don't want to hear that kinda stuff gotta keep it on the DL.
I have worked on farms. Poop does nothing to me anymore. Yeah, don't want to talk about it as I'm eating chocolate pudding. but I really don't give a shit.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that way and I'm 21. But my parents are really old school(read: old) but that's fine by me. Then again, i really want to live in the mid 20th century. Then again, I'm a white straight mainly conservative man so i really wouldn't have many social issues that would directly affect me.
Disclaimer: i don't want to live back then cuz I'm racist or anything like that i just really like old things. Also I'm a firm believer technology is ruining our lives eg; buzzfeed. I fucking hate them. I've never wasted more time in my life then when i dated a girl addicted to that click whore site
Dude I just scratched my balls, I don't know, I think the hair is growing through the underwear and it's like pulling when I move. Fucking hurts. Not to mention I've still got that recurring cyst thing on my right nut, kinda halfway up on the sack. Hasn't started oozing like it usually does but it is going down thankfully. Kinda has me worried it was an std, but it's the same as I usually get so I guess it's pretty normal and I don't get why your dad is so fucking uptight when people talk about their oozing genitalia. Does any of your family, preferably young ones you are related to, have any other genital issues you want to discuss with me?
Edit: wtf OP stop being so uptight. These are real issues wtf is wrong with discussing them? They. Are. Natural.
Wow it's shocking to hear that schools would shun education about periods like it would sexual intercourse. I get that conservative schools hope that sex won't happen if they don't talk about it, but periods will come. Most girls get their periods in middle school (but elementary school teachers definitely need to be ready too).
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:45:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My education regarding biology and sex was really not good. Throughout my schooling years, I can essentially summarise it as "Boys get hair and girls get boobs. This is a sperm and this is an egg. A penis gets erect because blood flows to it. LOOK AT THESE HORRIFYING PICTURES OF STIS AND STDS. This is how you put a condom on a banana."
Another thing was that we didn't learn much about the biology of the opposite sex, which had some fun consequences. Due to being moody teenagers, having our girlfriends be suddenly out of whack and even more moody than usual, and offhandedly excusing it as "PMS" or "I'm on my period" resulted in nothing more than every boy mocking women for being stupid and hormonal, all day, all the time. If only we had Hank and Laci Green who can teach us in relatively short videos that "we are all hormonal all the time," and that no, your hymen is not a piece of cling film in your vagina that's broken away once you have sex.
Edit: Rewrote. Also, a few other channels you may be interested in from those two Youtubers are SciShow and its varients for Hank, and A Naken Notion as well as Braless for Laci.
Edit 2: Sexplanations is also a very good channel for sex and sexual health advice.
Holy shit Hank and Laci are the best. Watched these before my sex ed class because I was really curious and my parents never talked to me about this stuff.
Yes! These shows are awesome and educational. Also check out sexplanations.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have only just recently discovered her channel, but I have to agree, it's amazing.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:21:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird. I went to a private Catholic school through HS, and my middle school had very in depth sex ed. And they didn't separate the boys and girls into different classes for the period/whatever guys talk about when they're separated (wet dreams?) talk. I think they did for maybe one class just so girls could ask questions without boys there, but the general talk was done in mixed company and included a drawing of a giant uterus on the chalk board.
Honestly the situation for me was the same at Christian school as it was at public school. If it was brought up a couple boys might joke and that was it.
I could ask my teachers/counselors advice about things like that and they wouldn't be phased.
Don't see where the big hullabaloo is.
N6TJA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile, I go to a private school and have had sex-ed classes since Kindergarten.
Almost the same here. I went to a private school and started having sex-ed classes in first grade. Of course everything was addressed in a way we could understand, but it really did help a lot.
I went to a private and semi religious middle school. We had great sex ed, covered periods and other basics like protected sex vs unprotected sex plus all the anatomy stuff. This was 5th grade, even more information was given in 6th and 8th.
Anyway, it really depends on the private school, the administration and the parents (who in private school have a lot of power).
Oh Jesus I wish we had sex ed that early. We had a puberty lesson about our gender (it was split between girls and boys) in grade 5. Didn't have any real sex ed talks until 2nd sem of grade 9. By then a girl was already pregnant.
My grandmother was raised in an extremely conservative christian household (read, mentally abusive). No one gave her the talk. Got her first period at school and thought she was dying, and that God must have been punishing her for kissing a guy.
I had kind of the opposite thing. Catholic middle and elementary school, and we talked about it. No biggie. Boys and girls were together for some of it, and then separated to talk about gender specific things. Still briefed of the other sex though. Got to ask questions, etc.
When I got to jr high, in a public school they didn't talk about it at all. Maybe it was too old for us? But I think some sex ed would be really useful at that age.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school, my teacher literally spent an entire class period talking about sex. Everyone was really uncomfortable.
bortnib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sex ed at my school was about love and marriage and not using contraception.
i went to catholic school
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:25:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:49:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Puberty starts for most people around then, and many parents leave any sort of education up to the schools. Girls, for instance, tend to start their period at the age of 11-13, on average.
?? I'm a girl, I discovered masturbation around age 11 as well. Many of my friends did too. It's not like puberty means masturbation for boys and periods for girls. Everyone masturbates.
EDIT:OP's original comment said something along the lines of "what do middle-schoolers need to know anyway?"
Everything.
No, really. Better to have kids who have underage sex and know what the risks and precautions are than to have kids having underage sex without knowing the importance of contraception or believing the various myths that surround sex. Assuming Middle School is roughly ages 9-13 in the US (that's what it used to be in the UK, and I don't understand the American grades system) then that's exactly when kids need to be taught about their bodies.
Sex-ed began for me in Year 5 (aged 9-10), with lessons about the basic biology of reproduction (penis gets erect, ejaculation takes place inside the vagina, sperm fertilises the egg etc.) and what's going to happen in puberty. At this point, such classes were kept gender-segregated in order to cover it better and field more questions actually relevant to each gender. In secondary school (beginning aged 11) sex-ed was expanded upon to include the other gender and in more detail, although by that point pretty much every kid knew that stuff anyway.
At 13 we had a brilliant full-day session led by two of the best teachers in the school where we were taught about the importance of contraception and how to both access it confidentially and use it (with a practical demonstration for condoms on a wooden penis). Also covered were the less pleasant things like STDs and rape.
ahaha yes and speaking of - I go to an infantry explorers post (like a boy scouts-supported JROTC, which - you guessed it - is mostly guys) and yesterday we were prepping for a FTX (think survival field trip in the middle of nowhere). My sergeant was briefing the cadets on hygiene kits and recommended the ladies inform him if it was "that time" for any of us so he would be prepared to have extra materials/emergency change of clothes, etc. and the boys in my squad straight up started laughing at him for a solid minute. We're all like 16-17 y/o and I couldn't believe that people were like so surprised/uncomfortable he brought it up, like it was some crazy unspoken secret that we have genitals that do genital stuff sometimes.
Shoulda embarrassed them. "Oh, and any young men laughing at that statement, word of advice for you. Leave the condoms at home. No female here is interested in fucking someone too immature to know what a vagina does naturally. You just proved your virginity."
The menstruation thing bothers me. Sure I don't want to go around telling everyone I know, but for fuck's sake, there's nothing wrong with me. It's human. It's a thing that happens. Every month.
I hate this stereotype that we need to be pampered and given chocolate and cuddles. Those things are welcome at all times of the month, I don't need more of those on my period, and infantilizing me during a monthly occurence does not make me love you more, sorry. If I'm say, 25, I've gone through this like 150 times, even with the worst of cramps, like I've been here before, I dont want to be bothered or babied.
EDIT: That's not to say i'm a cold-hearted person, if you want to rub my feet or my back during the rest of my life at times when i need it that'd be really loving, but to treat me like a cripple five days a month or an emotionally compromised bomb, is really insulting. There can't possible be women who are proud of being treated like absolute children during this time of the month.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:45:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough! Who am I to argue with your experience?
I find anything sugary makes it worse for me, so I just avoid sugar and grains during my period. try being the operative world. If my feelies are crying for haribo peachy gummy things, the feelies are getting haribo peachy gummy things.
Oh man do I know what you mean. I was in the candy aisle for five minutes yesterday trying to decide what my body needed. My boyfriend once asked me
"Why pistachios"
"I saw a shell on the sidewalk...and then I wanted them... and now I won't stop thinking about them until I eat them."
"Why Pizza"
"Some one reheated some at work... also pizza"
Right now I really want Wendy's because I was re-watching UnBreakable Kimmy Schmidt and they call her "Wendy's original Hamburger" and basically I will want Wendy's until I get Wendy's.
I want a magic cookie bar. Just saw a picture of one on Facebook, thing is I rarely eat them and they are far too rich ha ha. But goddamn I want to make them!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume some people benefit from the endorphins you get from eating chocolate.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree with the chocolate and pampered thing. Like, is it really that necessary to have a binge period like that where the common conception is that you should eat lots of junk food to make you feel better and just lie around 24/7 for an entire week every month? I'm a girl who's had severe cramps her entire life and I hate this because it implies that women are not capable of much (especially working or going to school, which is more pertinent in third world countries) during their period. When I was younger I used my period as an excuse to be lazy and do no schoolwork and eat too much junk food because I thought that was what would make me feel better. It didn't, and it damaged my health and put me behind in school.
Of course, it's great to relax a little during that time, and of course if you have severe cramps do whatever necessary for that. But for a large majority of women it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, and doing this just adds to the stereotype of the incapacitated woman on her period. I mean, it's gonna happen for 1/4 of our pre-menopausal lives, basically. Putting a hold on 1/4 of my life and letting shit fly isn't helping me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it also entirely possible that experiences vary, even with cramps? People experience pain differently, having different thresholds, and cramps will have different characteristics in different people. Just because yours were painful yet manageable and you used them as an excuse doesn't mean that everyone's is, and sometimes the hormones do get fucky with your emotions and logic. It doesn't mean you can't be a useful member of society, but I'd hesitate to call it entirely made up either. Personally, I don't get the cramps 99% of the time, but I do get one day where I feel incredibly energetic and happy, followed by a day where I get the dubious pleasure of suicidal ideation for a whole day. If I have to comfort eat to counteract the self harm impulses, I'll take it, even though pampering sounds distasteful.
That said, where I'm from it's always been the recommendation to do some physical activity to counteract the cramps. Of course, if you're a heavy bleeder, have debilitating cramps, and get the fucky brain logic to boot, that's not gonna sound like a very appealing option.
I mean, ideally people would finally get it into their heads that women are individuals and there is no one true truth for half the world's population, so that women who don't want children/a family or have menstruation issues don't have to get treated like those who do, but evidently that's too much to ask for.
Don't be infantalizing, but if someone knows that you are generally going to be in pain, tired, and maybe a little less perky than usual, I don't think it's bad or sexist or wrong to show up with chocolate, acknowledge with some sympathy, etc. As long as it's not done in a patronizing manner
Oh I 100% agree. Some of us aren't a raging mess on our periods and I resent being treated like that without cause. VERY different than me pouting to my partner that i'm feeling terrible and sore, and then he goes out and gets something to make me feel better. In a reversed situation, I'd rush to the store for him as well. But it's the "oh it's THAT time of the month.. better tip-toe around the she-beast" mentality that I'd love to do away with.
Conversely though, there are some girls who seem to love talking about it and asking questions. Like, I'm all for not pretending it doesn't exist, but let's treat it like all other bodily functions and realize no one wants details. It's not bonding, it's not lunchroom talk (seriously), and its not something that makes me feel like talking to you again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You probably don't go out of your way to tell people with IBS how gross they are though. Some people seem to think that's ok for women who have periods. There's a pretty good example in one of the replies to my post.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, everyone shits but that doesn't mean everyone wants to discuss the big goopy diarrhea you had the other night. It's still an awkward subject for people even if they understand it's not anything especially strange.
I'm ok with not talking about it, too. Totally makes sense. I just don't want guys telling me out of the blue that I'm gross if I've not brought it up (because I don't). Every body is gross. Don't need to be told that mine is gross just because my gross thing is different from your gross thing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:17:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why your butt will always be funky.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree that sort of response shows a lack of tact on the persons part.
It's normal, it's natural, but it's still gross. Sorry. I'm a guy, so maybe that contributes a big part of it. I wouldn't consider it a taboo in any way, I just don't want to talk about it.
I'm totally cool with that, not wanting to talk about it. I think ejaculation is gross (lesbian as can be), but I don't tell my friends who do it that its gross out of the blue. Sometimes that seems to happen with menstruation as a topic, and it just isn't a nice thing to hear.
[deleted] ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 22:56:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is disgusting and you should be ashamed, don't go around wearing it like some proud badge. you dirty pig.
Totally, because I care about what happens in 100 years.
At least at the end of the day, I go home to people who love and care about me. If I didn't, I'd probably come up with some bullshit excuse to pretend I didn't care either. Makes it sting less, doesn't it?
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 01:10:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making up random context in your head to substitute reality with is a nice way to live.
Love and care? shit aren't you an attention seeking whore, you need people to love and care for you to be happy? all about you huh?
I get really bad cramps, nausea and fatigue almost every period. Some times it's so bad I go home early or can hardly eat for a day or two...or three. It's really hard to explain this to people (guys in particular) without feeling some sort of embarrassment or shame...I know it's not my fault and it shouldn't be taboo...but still, saying, "sorry I don't want to go to lunch because I'm on my period and I can't stomach food right now" makes me so self conscious...
I feel that so much. For the longest time, I couldn't even mention periods because I was around so many guys who would say "oh my god ewwwwww stop." My cramps get so bad I've blacked out. Luckily I met a crowd of guys that I'm friends with (I'm dating one of them) who actually would bring me chocolate, hug me, and be human heating pads when I was stuck at school without painkillers.
Right? I bought some tampons and my boyfriend was like "what's in the bag?" I was like "tampons" he got kinda weird and said something like "jeez not so loud." I used to be shy about it, but I don't care anymore, half the world bleeds out their vaginas, im not gonna be coy.
Exactly. My boyfriend was in the car with me (I forget why I was driving) and he asked if we could stop to grab condoms, and I said "oh yeah, I need pads too. thanks babe." No weirdness. It made my night that the guy checking out in front of us looked at what we were getting, looked back at us, looked back at the items and did that shrug/frown thing of approval.
Seriously. I'm expected to savor and swallow what comes out of a penis. I'm expected to crave it inside me, on my face, on my body. But if I so much as even mention what comes out of a vagina, I'm an object of utter revulsion.
seriously, preach it girl/boy. Dicks are supposed to be the dream of every woman, but vaginas are scary monsters nobody can talk about without saying "fuck" "pound" "punish" etc.
I wrote an article for my college newspaper about reproductive rights, and I found out the next day my (male) editors had censored the word "vagina," changing it to "body" in a quote from someone โ the context was something like "I don't want people telling me what I can and can't do with my vagina" โ and I got so mad. They told me they weren't sure they could use "that word" in the paper. Yet I'm sure "penis" would be acceptable. Not to mention some of those editors probably had had their penises in a vagina and yet they still didn't feel comfortable saying it.
I feel this so much! I had a history teacher (divorced, has one kid) nearly send me to the office for saying "vagina", but right after I said "penis" and he chuckled because apparently that is more acceptable.
I worked with a few younger guys who would make jokes about gay guys and blow jobs. Ew, cum and dicks, gross. But they probably love blow jobs and facials.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:22:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so irritated when I come across "shark week" instead of "I'm on my period."
It's like... I know what you are saying. just say it?
I literally didn't know for the longest time that "Shark week" meant anything more than that week on Discovery channel? Whenever I found out... It doesn't make sense? The only connection is blood? We could call it any predator week? You're a human, not a bucket of chum. Come on now.
As a guy, I always ask as many questions as I can admit periods when the subject is brought up by a girl. I think it makes them feel more comfortable and I get to learn something that I can use in life to empathize better
folderol ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 19:52:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know what your orientation is but you aren't going to get laid like that. Always? I would think that once you'd heard a couple explanations you will pretty much an expert. How many details could there really be?
Straight, not trying to get laid. I do know quite a bit now, but again, it's more about the girl being more comfortable around me. For example, if I'm trying to make friends. Also, that knowledge and empathy helps with existing girlfriends.
folderol ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 21:58:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I resisted to use the word friend zone but that is exactly what you are going for. If that's the case then more power to you.
Arydus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, my autistic daughter got her first period today and while it was uncomfortable for me as her father (Mom had not yet arrived home) I was able to handle it with no problem. Her disability was more of the issue for me as she's not on the same mental level so it compounds the normal anxiety.
I don't understand why people are squeamish about body functions. I like my privacy but damn man, you married a woman and have a daughter so you NEED to get over it.
My best friend and I talk about periods monthly. I've introduced a lot of people to the idea of menstrual cups and she has now too. It's crazy how some people are so opposed to talking about a basic bodily function-I'm not talking about it over dinner or a glass of red wine!
So much this. My sister and I lived together for a while, then her boyfriend moved in. She got all weird about me "properly" disposing of my pads. "kaylameow_, boyfriend can SEE your pad when you don't roll it up tightly and wrap it in massive amounts of toilet paper. Thats gross."
"Dude. I don't fucking care. Tell him to get over it or he can leave."
Granted, I was also annoyed from hearing their obnoxiously-loud sex, so I may have been a bit on edge.
I'm a guy, my girl friends will always go around with cryptic euphemisms about how they're on their period and need to find a bathroom.
As soon as I can nail it down, I just blurt "so you're on your period?"
Girls, we get you have bodily functions too, just say it. Don't spend time inadvertently confusing us.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have some female friends that can talk to me bout taking a dump, menstruation, breast size, and other "dirty" stuff with no problem. It IS a bit weird to me though because im not used to it (lol) I am male BTW
Man, no kidding. Sex fascinates me, and I absolutely love finding out what people's kinks are. But the only time I can ever talk to people about their sexual fetishes is safely behind the Internet, no one I actually know aside from my own girlfriend can bear to even mention it.
And this one time in high school a lady friend suddenly came on her period, and when I offered to run to the store to buy tampons for her she looked like I just stood up and dropped trow in front of her. "Oh my god, you're willing to do that!?" "...Yes?"
It bothers the shit out of me that women have to be so secretive about menstruation or their genitalia. I'll bring that shit up to my closest friends and they'll start whispering or get grossed out and say ew about something that's fucking natural to them and shouldn't be seen as anything other than natural. Its fucking craziness. Even if I'm a dude, you can talk to me about your period. Describe your vagina in detail. I don't give a fuck. It especially bothers me that most dudes are also repulsed by the concept. How the fuck are we so scared to accept something more normal than the clothes we wear and the cars we drive? In all realness, I think it has something to do with male figures who built our society trying to exploit feminine insecurities to gain more power, but in a time where we've advanced so much, we should really be able to think a little more clearly and see through the bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:48:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the original point wasn't that it should be okay to just walk around announcing your bodily functions, but that you shouldn't be ashamed of them IF the situation arises where it needs to be brought up. For instance, if you need to ask someone for tampons, it shouldn't be a secret thing...
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:26:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry i didn't really put much thought into what i said. People buying/showing/discussing feminine hygiene products is totally fine i have no issues with that at all (you would have to be a complete moron to think there was). My point was more people going into their bodily functions in great detail when other people may not really want to know. I had a female co-worker do this to me before, im guessing for shock humour but i personally found it a bit odd as to why you would share that with someone who you hardly know.
NicoUK ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:21:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Just because a thing is natural, doesn't mean that it's acceptable discourse.
How many 'pro-period conversation' supports go around talking about their shits?
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 18:47:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My thought was that it's more like the daughter being grossed out if the dad asked the mom for a condom because it connotes them having sex. Most people don't want to end up thinking about their parents having sex. Most dads don't want to end up thinking about their daughter's menstrual cycle. That's just the way it is, it doesn't have to be about sexism and misogyny all of the sudden.
Asking about a condom in a family setting is weird because it's unnecessary, and it directly refers to sex, which is a private matter (but hey, maybe it would be nice if eventually sex isn't taboo either).
When a girl needs a pad, she usually needs it right-fucking-now, it's not a choice of hers.
If talking about toilet paper isn't grounds for people freaking out, but talking about pads are, when both involve involuntary, common bodily functions (that usually require urgent supplies to deal with) then that's pretty misogynistic.
I don't think there is a woman in this thread asking to be able to declare to the world the minute details of their period, but just be able to not be humiliated if it's ever mentioned.
Like, even at 25, I'm still careful to never let anyone see my pads/tampons when I open my bag. And if I have my period in a public place I have to slide supplies up my sleeve like a magician doing a card trick. It's such a hassle and all the onus is on us to keep up the illusion.
If my dad asked my mom for a condom in front of me... that would just be weird. That's usually something two people use in the heat of the moment. Like, to put in his pocket? Why would he need one outside the bedroom with people around?
Unless he asked my mom to get one so he could show us how it works or something, or do that thing where the adult rolls it over their arm and says, "Never let him tell you he's too big."
If he said something like, "We need condoms" while she's making up a grocery list, I doubt it would really register unless he made a big deal out of it.
I dont want to hear about my sons getting massive erections either. If it isnt causing bodily harm, i dont wanma fucking hear it. Boys or girls, parents or children.
OK then if youre able to say sex is off limits (which i think is what youre saying) then why cant people say certain bodily functions is off limits?
Point is as progressive as people on reddit want/pretend to be, its never gonna be acceptable for people to talk about their periods in public or sex in formal occasions etc etc. People dont want to hear about it, simple as that. I dont get why we have to mask it as sexism or whatever.
Because it's unfair to have certain unavoidable bodily functions tolerated (you don't spew when someone goes to the bathroom because you instantly imagine them pissing/shitting, do you?), but disallow the ones that only affect women.
Someone excuses themselves to go to the bathroom. A non-issue.
Someone excuses themselves to go to the bathroom and you see they are carrying a pad. Faux pas of the century.
Kid shouts "We are running out of toilet paper!". Ok noted.
Kid shouts "We are running out of tampons!". OMG WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW. STOP FLAUNTING YOUR BODILY FUNCTIONS.
There is a pretty obvious double standard and I feel like I keep repeating the same things over and over in this thread.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, but because they commented about asking their mom for tampons like 2 comments above this, I have a feeling that /u/Shaysdays might just be a "she", not a "he".
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 18:31:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't necessarily want to be able to describe the consistency in a public setting, but it's like women have to hide the fact that periods even exist, like god forbid someone notice the outside of packaging for pads in my bag or I HAPPEN to mention "oh wait I need to stop for pads" on the way to a trip or something. I surround myself with people who aren't stuck-up about that kind of thing, but the general public still has this really shock-and-horror so-gross-and-nasty reaction to periods or period-related issues even being mentioned. Another example is side-effects like "oh I get really awful menstrual migraines," the woman is talking about her headaches and not her period but because she dared to mention her cycle, it's suddenly gross and inappropriate.
To be honest I may not want to hear what you have to say about. I got tired of working in industry and having to listen to what guys were "going to do with that chick over there." I don't want to think about her pussy all over your mustache dick head.
That is really fair, and I didn't think about that. That wasn't exactly what I meant about talking about sex. I had a guy friend (I am a girl) who would kind of talk like that, in a way, and it was just disgusting. But sexual health kind of stuff (condoms? cleaning down there? shaving/waxing/whatever? cool beans) and all of that shouldn't be so taboo. Maybe I don't want to hear about somebody's possible STI, but if talking about it gets you educated, whatever. It's really no business of mine what other people talk about.
Zaiya53 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's more because people aren't comfortable in their sexuality yet. They feel embarrassed if they've tried something, anything, other than your normal run of the mill positions. I think we're all getting a little better about it though, little bit at a time!
I don't think people want to hear about that because why would they?
PC509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's friends like me because I really don't care. They can talk about their period, and I can buy pads or tampons, and it's not a big deal. Welcome to humanity.
Depends on the crowd. Everyone in my family and my husbands family is in medicine. Dinner table conversation has touched on biopsies, menstruation, childbirth, and so much more. It's just part of life, man.
Maybe it's because I'm a virgin, but talking about that stuff makes me really uncomfortable. It quickly goes from health to sex and for me it's a thing of imtimacy and privacy. It's also really bothering me in friendships, because we have so cool interests we can talk about and then this starts again. I don't talk about how often I shower or shave my armpits, it's just a natural thing we all do, why is this stuff so important to people?
I honestly find that interesting. You and I are different, and you have boundaries, that's totally chill. However if you and I were in a store and you heard me talking to my boyfriend that I needed to grab pads, or saying "do we need condoms?", would you be outraged? I think that, just like you have every right to not discuss it, I have just as much right to discuss it for not being shamed.
I've been talking opening about how often I shower and shave though since I've started shaving (and showering probably fifth grade? Idk it's never been a secret). Shaving is a standard held to women, so I wouldn't call it "natural" but I feel you. If we do it, why does it matter when/how often? On the same level, so what if we talk about it? Someone new to shaving may want/need to have the conversation but they are too young/shy to bring it up.
Definitely your highschool then. When I was a freshman-junior, my high school was pretty open about it. That's where I met the group of guy friends who brought me chocolate or let me use their laptops as a heating pad on my stomach. Went to a different place for senior year... Even the mention, the whisper over a pad, was absolutely unthinkable.
My group of friends are way too open with each other but I actually really appreciate it. It makes me much more comfortable with my sexuality. I know all about they're sexual exploits, masturbation habits, and what not and they know about mine.
Kitakk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't whisper. They're wrong (and possibly uneducated). Help them out!
We had a great talk with our kid at the zoo about why we couldn't call a particular monkey "him" until we saw if it had a penis or a vulva. I'm sure other people were all upset, but they're just body parts. Know their names. Teach your kids. Argh.
Exactly. Being ashamed and squeamish about body parts is such a huge problem because, when issues aren't talked about, they gain more power!
I was talking to my boyfriend about the new pads I got, and he was totally comfortable (they are those kind with foam in them. I have a heavy period so it is amazing to go from having a literal mattress between my legs to almost not feeling anything!). People around us, mind you I wasn't even talking loudly, were just looking at him like "wtf where'd you find that trash?" Oops my boyfriend and I have a healthy personal and sexual relationship. Sorry, not sorry?
Wow this one is way stupider than my answer. How is this still taboo to talk about??? I have no problem shopping for or handling tampons/pads etc. I'll even do it for my mom. WTF are peoples' problems? We have to whisper about a thing THAT LITERALLY EVERY WOMAN goes through naturally? Not sure why it pisses me off so much since I'm a guy but still.
I kind of cried when I read this because I've gotten so many guys shitting on me for what I posted, but you totally nailed it. Women are shamed for pretty much everything we do. Periods are already hell. It is something I literally can not help. Why do I need to be shy about it? Why do cashiers (usually men) look at me with pity and quickly hide my pads in the bottom of a bag? Why, when I was buying pads, an asian man saw my pads on the table to be scanned, stepped away from me, put his stuff at the very edge away from me and put a divider between his window cleaner and my pads?
I treat this the same way I treat bowel movements. Just tell me you have to go to the bathroom. That's all I need to know. You don't have to be shy but if I'm in public I'm not gonna start talking about it anymore or louder than need be because strangers don't need to know that some Indian food gives me diarrhea.
Okay, I don't go around screaming about my period. I normally try to forget that it's going on because it is such a horrible experience. However if I need to stop by the store, and you ask me why? I'm getting pad/tampons. I get asked a lot why i need to take my bag to the bathroom. Because I need my feminine products. If I suddenly excuse myself from a table and you're like "what even are you okay?" I will say "yeah uh my period just started so gotta take care of that." End of story. I'm pretty sure you're a guy, so I wouldn't go into details unless you asked for information. But when I'm talking to girlfriends (in an appropriate voice level) about periods, and people listen and then give me dirty looks? Or I get weird looks from a cashier? Fuck that.
It's weird to me that those things still freak people out. I have a twin sister, and have always worked with mostly women. I have talked about pretty much every detail of female anatomy at some point or another. I'm more interested to know that those I care about are healthy than being weirded out by something that is completely fucking normal.
Thank you so much. Literally, same here. I would ask my boyfriend about sexual-health questions (he is the first and only boy I've dated, I normally dated girls, and I was curious) and he was surprised but became more open with me. The same went on about my period, and he would ask me questions about female sexual health. It's like knowledge is enough to make people more curious to be educated, eh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh my goodness I never mentioned that one should discuss this over food! But yeah, just like literally anything else, there is an appropriate way to discuss it, and an inappropriate way to discuss it.
I don't think it should be taboo, but there is a time and place for mentioning it. When my sisters start talking about their periods I cut them off and explain my last bowel movement in detail, they stop.
My ex used to openly talk about her periods and I'd ask her about them, was never really awkward or anything, it's just a thing that every woman goes through roughly once a month, it's not a gross or weird thing.
Soapuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family might just be weird, but the discussions we have (especially at the dinner table) eventually will have some aspect of sex or bodily functions mentioned. We don't really get grossed out about it anymore. My parents are very open and didn't want to keep us in the dark about this stuff. Now we joke about sex while we eat dinner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to school in Canada and we talked EXTREMELY openly about this stuff by the time we were 11. We had full blown classes about it, we labeled the penis and vagina on tests, we learned about every single STD, all the different ways to have sex, all the different ways to protect yourself against sex, the different ways that people pressure others to have sex, the myths that are prevalent, etc.
I'm moving to Canada next month, so this was such a wonderful thing to read.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's pretty decent up here. No public schools are allowed to have a denomination (aka religious affiliation) so if your kid goes to public school he/she will most likely be learning about all this stuff. I'm sure there are areas that are more conservative than others, but I grew up in St. John's, Newfoundland, which isn't exactly a bustling metropolis, and we learned about EVERYTHING.
Oh gosh, i have a picture from signal hill of St. John's as my wallpaper from when i visited the university. I loved it there. Newfoundland was such a wonderful place to be- I've never been anywhere like it. Yeah when i was in public school, we didnt have a denomination but sex and stuff still was so taboo, i started my period the day we got our period pad packs and got screamed at for opening it before i got home...
I think it depends on how you do it. A group of 10 middle aged women sitting in the middle of a family establishment loudly talking about the size of their partner's dick, their preferred sexual position, or how heavy their flow was last month isn't the right place or time for that shit.
And no I'm not making that up. When I was a manager of a family restaurant I had to kick out more then a few all women "book" clubs because of shit like that.
My 5 year old asked me where babies come from. I asked what she thought (which is what my mom pulled on me) and she said "sex?". Wow, I was blown away that she knew! So I asked what she thought sex was "two people get naked and kiss?". Shit, that's pretty close too. I just told her that she was right, but we would talk about it more when she was older and told her not to mention it at school. That said, when she's 9 or 10 we'll talk about that shit all day long if she wants.
I remember in highschool many of my friends had code words for pads and tampons so that there was no position of anyone figuring out what they were talking about. The problem was that I never bothered to remember what the code word was, cause I didn't give a shit. When they needed to ask me for an extra pad or tampon, they could barely bring themselves to say it.
I wouldn't advertise that I was on my period, but I didn't care that much. The only annoying thing is that people might bother you about being moody. Like excuse me, but everyone, guy or girl, is a hormonal bitch in high school.
Also fun fact: whenever guys get all high-and-mighty and say "you're just a bitch cause you're on you period" or "well, guys have to deal with women on their period, which is worse than cramp pain!" simply remind them that during your period, you have less estrogen in your system, so you're hormone levels are closer to a male's. They "deal" with that for a week? You have to deal with them all the time!
The whole menstruation subject for the majority of guys is still awkward/gross/weird.
As someone who gets on with girls way more than guys I'm used to the subject and couldn't care less if they talk about it with me around or even to me, it's normal and natural.
23yr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recently started my period while I was out with fiancรฉ and daughter at a restaurant during an artwalk in downtown area. No shame and asked every female that walked into the line of said restaurant for a tampon or pad. No shame, it's a NATURAL bodily function.
Oh hell yes, if I'm talking about sex in public (which is a lot, haha) if I think someone within earshot could use an education I will go into so much detail and throw in as much sex ed as I can! I always hope I inadvertently answer someone's burning question they were too embarrassed to ask anyone :)
Exactly! I can't stand to hear someone talk about wrong sex facts. This happened in my Law and Justice class (we got off topic a lot) and guy were saying all of this blatantly wrong things about sex and stuff and I jump in with the actual facts. Guess who gets in trouble? Me. Like whoops! Sorry, forgot ignorance is bliss when it comes to the scary, scary vagina.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I think it's absolutely HOT for a woman to talk about her bodily functions concisely and openly to me. It reminds me of when Terry Crews said Basking in the ambiance. It was a running joke between me and my ex.
Due to the way I was raised, it has only been in the past few years that I've gotten over my sexual repression.
Now that I'm over it, I find myself constantly questioning why I was so repressed for so long, and why it was so bad to talk about things that are so right and natural (not to mention DOING certain things eg having sex, and masturbating).
It is so stupid that we are made to feel ashamed for simply being human!
I agree with you on this. I think this is even more so the case with people of opposite genders. Like the other day I was talking to my friend and she brought up how a relationship kind of went awry out of nowhere, and it was surprising because earlier that day they were at a sex shop buying toys for later.
I've never really had a girl friend be that candid with me about that sort of stuff before, so it threw me for a second. I realized though that it had no meaning to me outside of the story though. Like I didn't all of a sudden get uncomfortable thinking about the toys and her, or feel that she was sharing too much. It was just something that made sense. Her and her man were doing something that people in relationships do, and then later that night, things weren't so good between the two of them. It meant the same to me as if she said they had bought groceries for them to split.
I got to thinking that that's how it should be. No one in that situation should feel awkward. I would feel bad if she was sharing that story with someone else, and they got uncomfortable, which made her embarrassed. Neither person would be in a good place after that, and that's not how it should be.
I need to go to my gp every 3 months so they can renew my prescription for the pill. Their hours are 9am to 5pm.
It's usually not an issue with my manager, she's a woman and gets it. So I get in early, don't take any breaks and leave earlier than normal to make my appointment because I work in the CBD and my doctor is in the far suburbs.
My manager is on leave, so I went to her manager to let him know that I was leaving to go to a doctors appointment.
Him: What's wrong? Nothing bad I hope.
Me: No, just a normal appointment
Him: Are you unwell?
Me: No, just need to get a prescription filled
Him: That sounds serious
Me: Not really, it's for my contraception.
Him: Well then.. Do that then. Yep, do that, uhh your timesheet....doesn't matter you were here early, don't worry about that. Yep, so you do that. What time did you get in? Yep. So just uhhh do that, yep.
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really depends on the culture though. I was in Japan and a lot of this stuff was not taboo at all. I was definitely taken aback more than once, and although I agree with their attitude on it, it definitely took some getting used to.
sumbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. Especially when it comes to talking about sex. Sometimes I forget that most people find sex talk to be inappropriate and I end up feeling awkward for bringing it up. But what the hell? Everyone at least THINKS about sex so why is it so hard for people to talk about? I find that most of the people who are offended by sex talk are the people who are actually sexually active which honestly doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.
As for the people who are offended by periods/menstration/PMS/cramps - boggles my mind. I'm a female, this shit happens monthly, so you're likely going to hear me talking about it
My sister and mom have a constant argument about this. Sister wants to put package of pads on toilet head. Makes sense, it's bathroom stuff. We talk about shit and piss all the time but whenever period stuff comes up people get all bothered.
My 5-yr-old got hollered at in day care for playing with his penis and there was another small boy doing the same. They're 5, my kid just learned that he can pull back his foreskin, it's normal. But the day care workers kept hounding him about "who started it?!?" and he got very upset. I was fucking pissed.
Sex is not a taboo subject in my house, I answer any and all questions that my kids have, and I will not have my kids warped by some idiot's idea of what's "proper." Curiosity about one's body is normal (and my pediatrician backs me up on that)
ETA and no I don't think he should just be able to whip it out whenever he feels like it, we're still working on "keeping private parts private", but I won't have him feeling bad for being curious about himself.
I think there's a limit to this. Yeah bodily functions are natural, but they're also largely gross. I think it's gross to talk about your period if you wouldn't talk the same way about your poop. Chatting about how heavy your flow was last month is like chatting about juicy your shit was yesterday.
There are quite a few people who are used to creating images in their minds during a conversation. I'm not one of them but I can understand how it might help them. I'm pretty sure none needs the image of your bleeding vagina in their minds while in their way to lunch... I'm all for any conversation but I understand how some people on the train might not be interested...
That's ridiculous. Raise my hand in class and say, "Does anyone here need to take a shit because I am about to blow a gasket. Anybody have any two-ply paper I can use?" What in the fuck is the point of asking the whole class? Why would I care about your bloody twat? That just seems immature to me. Hey everybody look at me.
I wouldn't know unless someone like you raised your hand in class to announce that they did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I dunno, depends who you are friends with I guess. My lady friends couldn't give less of a shit if anyone is offended about anything they talk about regarding this. Not like they talk about it all the time but if it comes up: no hesitation. New people who meet us who get offended that easily don't become friends, suddenly we have only a large group that doesn't care about taboo subjects. No longer taboo. In public or not (within reason of course, not like we're going into gruesome details around children and your mom hell bent on being Hitler the Edgemaster 4000 hell bent on the destruction of common sense-(common)decency))
I don't think there is really any other way to make something normal other than just treating it as normal day to day, and if you do that in general as a rule, you become friends with some really interesting people over time as I've found out.
I went from conservative christian kid with the expected pre-set views... to roommates with gay friend into way out there fetishes, furry fan who also is very into hardcore punk and very into collecting retro video games, and a person of e-sports fame. Past room mate refused to sleep on beds to the point of not owning one, very into martial arts, and my "I don't care if its 9am lets buy a 2 liter jug of beer each and chug that in the backyard and then go from there guy" just together talking about nothing..no need of a party. He has an Abe-Lincoln beard and wears a green kilt to work where he washes windows among other odd jobs. That is just an extremely basic description. Through them I've met a boat load of quirky people. Sociables with this group btw, is as insane as you'd imagine.
After a year of trying to conceive and (finally) having success, I've definitely become a lot more comfortable talking about all this. And thanks to those "Trying" subs as well. It sucks when I want to discuss this stuff with other people and they think I'm a weird-o.
I sometimes like to shove those topics down people's throat as a way of pushing their boundaries because I think society should be able to talk about those things. Sometimes I feel tempted to say something really "ridiculous", like talk about my last masturbation experience but I haven't done it because I think people can't deal with it. I'm working on it though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's a normal bodily function why do you need to "educate" about it in the first place. Do you just talk about your sex life or sexual health with strangers and people you just met? That's what friends are for and I've never seen or heard of a situation where it's taboo to discuss those things with friends.
why do you need to "educate" about it in the first place.
Because there's a metric shit-ton of misinformation out there. There are grown men and women who believe women pee out of their vaginal hole. Or that periods are like, cups of blood just spilling out. (Or conversely, that women can hold their period like they do their pee.)
If someone is misinformed, I'm gonna help them out, same as if they said that identical twins have the same fingerprints or the Magna Carta was written in French.
Most of the time when I'm discussing period stuff, it's in response to dudes asking questions or making statements, oddly enough.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:45:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have had a (now no longer) friend of mine get mad at me for discussing things of sexual nature in a public place. We, a group of four or five frat guys, were eating lunch, and discussing things like who we were hoooking up with. The discussion got a little bit crude, but it wasn't disrespectful to women, or anything, nor were there any kids around. He just got offended that we would talk about it in a public place where a woman, the more delicate sex, might hear. That's just fucking stupid.
It makes a lot of people (including friends) uncomfortable, depending on their level of experience with the topic.
For instance, I spend a year trying to have a baby and learned a lot about my body that they just dont teach in schools (and should) and people just dont know unless they have to go through trying as well. When I've tried to talk about it with friends (male or female) even ones in the medical field, they get cringie.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, save those conversations for friends, and even then some friends don't care to listen about your menstruation cycle. It's like having someone come over and start talking about their poop in detail. Somethings are just gross and not everyone wants to put it out in the open. I for one don't consider any of it taboo, but that doesn't mean I want to go hang out with my friends and talk about vaginal discharge while we're having dinner, or how their nipples are sore and leaking after sex while breastfeeding. I also don't want to hear about my guy friends cum shots or stupendous stools. Some things are just gross.
EDIT :Words I need to learn to fucking proof read.
"Do you ever talk with your birth parents/siblings?"
"Nope."
"Oh, why not? Don't you want to talk to them? They are your family."
"If they were your family, you wouldn't talk to them either." uncomfortable silence
It's so tempting to just make up stuff so they quit asking about it.
I'm a fairly curious person and I try not to intrude but I do get why people ask but jeez does it get old quick.
I used to be like that, as I'm super close with my family. I was astonished when my ex told me that he didn't talk to his family much. I thought he was just being an ass.
Then I met his family, and everything made sense. And then I told my mom about it, and my mom made extra sure that he always got gifts from them on holidays, and threw us a huge going away party when we moved cross country (compared to his own parents who did jack shit but make him feel guilty for moving).
I had a kind of passive acceptance of his parents being assholes until they decided to include me in their assiness. I helped out during a wake of one of the grandparents, always made effort to stop by when I was in their part of the state, and genuinely tried to connect with them.
Then his dad once asked if I was his "roommate" (we'd been together a few years at that point). After that, I never made any extra effort to try and find the good in those people. They treated their son like shit, and he had every right to not talk to them.
It honestly goes both ways too. For the longest time, I didn't understand that there were in fact, biological families out there who were all happy, decent people who communicated with one another willingly and happily about important issues and solved problems together.
But it sounds like you did the best possible thing you and your family could have and really understand what these people were like once you saw them in action, so kudos to you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I wrong in assuming you're a man and this factored into the I'll treatment?
I do my best to not get frustrated with people but it's amazing how some don't ever try to even accept that other people have different sorts of family structures.
It's like trying to explain '1+1=2' to someone in a different room wearing headphones and a blindfold.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Typically that gets followed with lots of probing follow-up questions about the nitty-gritty details, not uncomfortable silence, unfortunately. It makes people too curious.
I don't really have a good reason. I just was never close to my brother. There was no event that triggered it, but we haven't really talked since we were about 11/12 years old. People think that's way weirder than if we were distant because he slept with my girlfriend or I stole money from him or something.
I've got relatives like that and it would so much easier to lie or make something up instead of trying to explain it.
'Oh, do you see so-and-so much?'
'We don't really talk to them.'
'Really?' Nope, I'm a filthy liar and we get together for BBQ and golf every weekend.
It's usually only uncomfortable if they try to convince me in that 'they're family, you should love them!' way without knowing the details as opposed to someone asking to understand the situation.
If they try to use the 'doesn't matter what happened, they share the same DNA you have to love them', the uncomfortable silence is pretty inevitable.
then the silence is totally ok right? It's when they open up their mouth that things become awkward. If I lay down a very important truth on anything, I expect there to be silence as the person considers it.
It's fine then. It's the difference between trying to tell someone you have a headache after hitting your head and them asking why and offering you an aspirin vs. them denying the headache exists and that you should eat more seafood.
There's better metaphors out there but it's the best I can do right now.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually you don't really knock that. Because you are you based on your situational learning and experiences. But they might very well be a different person based on the same things. So maybe they would.
The typical counter to anyone saying they don't want to interact with their family is that if they spent as much time repairing relationships as they did bitching about them that they'd be happier.
I've got the stage in life where you need to go to university.
I tell everyone I want to go to this place 2 states away and everyone's like why?
They just don't understand that I enjoy being away/not in contact with my family
amedeus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:51:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still can't believe that people who know my mother and agree with me on all points about her still say, "But she's your mother!" when they hear that I've shut her out of my life. Like damn, I didn't choose the woman, why should I be stuck with crazy for life?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that you're supposed to automatically love people because you happen to be blood related to them. Why? You know, there are people who say stuff like "Oh, he's an asshole but he's my cousin so I have to love him". Uh, no you don't. If he's a piece of shit then you are not obligated to love him. Some people have the idea that if you had to save the life of an acquaintance who you know to be a good person, or a family member who's a downright shitty excuse for a human being, then you have to choose your family member just because. Fuck that. This isn't a personal rant, I can't think of any family members that I really don't like, but I don't think I should be obligated to love or like them.
"Cuz I'm your father!" That phrase has been repeated time after time to me and my dad has been trying to keep me on a leash and have fearful respect of him the way his dad did to him, but I refuse to be a part of the chain
I haven't seen my biodad since I was a toddler, he moved to the other side of the country when my mom and him divorced and he doesn't send any money to help despite the fact that he's legally obligated to. I also have two half brothers that I have only seen when I was a small child and I don't know where they are. I can't say I care for any of them. One time when leaving my grandma's house he called (probably demanding money from her), me, my mom, and my siblings all left without caring.
"Some fathers do not earn the love of their sons." -Herschel Greene, TWD
Yep. Now, I love my dad. My dad is the bomb. However, replace those nouns with their female equivalents, and you have my response to anyone who thinks they're being reasonable.
In the movie "Into the Wild," the main character keeps getting asked if he plans on returning to his parents or if his family knows that he's doing a cross-country hike to Alaska. He never answers a single one of them. I found it annoying. He was abused by his dad and his mother was practically beaten into submission, but he never explains this. He just lets people keep thinking that he left a family that loves him more than the world and would die to get him back. He never tells any of the people he meets that he's running away, just that he's on a trip.
Especially if youve had a horrible relationship or falling out with a family member. Just cuz theyre your parents doesn't mean they love you. A lot of parents are horrible, neglectful people who see their children as burdens or whatever. Why should people who've been victim of assholes have to be pressured to forgive their abusers?
Sadly, some of us learned the hard way to run away from our parents. OK to harbor love for them , but i'll stay on the other side of the continent thank you vwry much.
kjata ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:16:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Family has a bit of a foot in the door if you're lucky, since often your family is the group of people that understands you best. But if they've lived with you for years and still can't figure you out? Well, you've probably given them more chances than anyone else by then, and the only way that works is if they (or you) don't even try.
As one of those depressed 20-somethings, I can tell you from this post your attitude is all wrong. Maybe I'm projecting, but I can tell why people like us stay away from family that "keeps trying".
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:38:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. 100%. This divine right of (especially) parents to rule over children without mutual respect tends to fuel "keep it in the family" attitudes too. People wonder why they never notice abuse going on in a family unit when they were the same kind of people who would say something as asinine as "keep it in the family" when a child tries to air a dispute with their elders.
Children can be little cunt nuggets for sure but if they're never given respect I see shit all why they should respect you, or how they would even learn what being respectful is. They didn't ask to be born, they don't owe you their flesh, they're not responsible for feeding your egoism. Having a child is your responsibility alone.
Sorry about the vitriol. Not directed at you. I just hate it when older people act so entitled to respect when they legit just don't give a fuck about anyone else. Yes I live in the UK yes I hate the Tories.
I observe something similar myself, I respect everyone until proven otherwise. Flawed phrasing in this regard, I should have said both can be rightfully lost.
Maybe not fully, as I have degrees of respect for a random stranger and someone who's merits and flaws I'm aware of, but yoi get the idea.
Lots of Asian kids often endure years of emotional abuse (and physical abuse in some cases) yet parents expect them to maintain absolute filial piety. The Confucian school of thought can go to hell for all I care.
Reminds me of when we were having a family get-together for new years on my dad's side of the family. I normally have respect for my elders, but funny how a couple of racial remarks about blacks from a granfather can have the opposite effect
acejohn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally disagree but that's not an awful opinion by any means.
I agree. My brother recently did something fucked up and left the house, which was ok, but he then proceeded to ignore my parents completely. They were initially a bit uneasy about kicking him out, but now he's basically just a stranger.
We had no intentions of just shutting him out - he did it to himself by failing to show respect when he was the one who fucked up in the first place. I guess he just assumed my parents would go begging to his feet to come back.
If you kick someone out, don't expect to continue your relationship with them. Your parents essentially lost a son. He probably feels affronted and left for that reason.
My mother did something wrong and essentially almost flooded part of the house. What had happened is that we had recently had electricians at the house sorting out the lighting and making sure the plug sockets were working in our extension. My parents have a jacuzzi shower which needs to be plugged into the electrics to work well, and thus had to be unplugged when the electricians were working on the electrics. They had also unplugged the water pipe connecting the plug to the pipes, meaning any water going into the plug would go all over the floor. And it did. And it soaked into downstairs where there is a LOT of cables due to lighting. She didn't realise until she could literally see the water in the room, and it was a bit too late.
Dad was obviously pissed, I was just about getting ready to go out with some friends to the pub and my brother was doing stuff on his computer. Mother then proceeds to get shouted at by my dad, yes she did something wrong, but she didn't mean it. So I told him to back off.
My brother had a different plan though. He decided it would be a brilliant idea to go up behind my dad with a hammer, gesturing to hit him in the back of the head with the blunt side RIGHT in front of me. I thought "holy shit he's going to kill him", tackled my brother, disarmed him but in the process he swung the hammer right at my face, scarring my lip with quite a gnarly scar. And it's unde-fucking-batable that he swung at me, because there was blood on my fucking upper left lens of my glasses when he hit me above the right corner of my lip.
So not only did he, seemingly, try to kill my dad he swung at me and gave me a nasty scar. He also did some other shit which drove my parents bat-shit fucking insane (stealing, lying, being a dick, shifting his way out of rent and being a lazy twat). Since then he has completely ignored my parents and gone insane at his job because "he thought his little 16 y/o brother died in a car accident". Bullshit. The fucker could have rang me and I would have answered.
So yes. He bought it upon himself by taking the respect he had for granted.
EDIT: Also, that night he basically drove off to think about stuff. He didn't come back that night and my parents made the decision that if he comes back, he is a tenant - not there as their son.
Yeah, well it kinda continues today. Life is much easier if there is a small group of people who will stick their neck out for you regardless of whether they 'like' you at a given point in time. Families support each other with shelter, food, money, helping to find work, education opportunities, etc.
Life is much easier when someone shelters you, feeds you, gets you a decent education, and helps you out with money while you get started. They might turn out to be someone you wouldn't be friends with but there's a reciprocity to the relationship which can't be ignored.
We might not be getting killed by sabre tooth tigers but the principle is pretty much the same.
He's not saying you have to throw people away for no reason. I have an uncle that I wouldn't piss on if he was on fire. I love my parents just like most people but thats because they were good parents. If they were shit parents I would try my best to get away from them. Also, shit parents wouldn't really do a good job of doing any of the things you listed.
His point was that many people will judge you harshly even if you choose not to associate with your parents because they suck.
In reality, what he is getting at isn't against what you are saying anyway. Avoid shitty people regardless of blood. Let good people in regardless of blood. I consider many of my friends family.
Life is so much easier when you never try to look at life from someone else's viewpoint. The life you lived is not the same as the one I did. Don't try to push your useless philosophical bullshit on me. I got out of a house that was working to keep me angry, depressed, and full of anxiety at every waking hour, and all I ever get is either fake concern or people telling me to try to forgive my father and work to rebuild our relationship.
Since before I was in grade school I already knew I never wanted children, because I didn't want to be the kind of father he was, and I was scared shitless that I would be. Do you know what it's like to have massive anxiety every second of your waking life? Do you know what it's like for the sound of footsteps to cause an adrenaline rush? Has it ever torn your heart out to see your friend hanging out with their dad having a good time?
Do you know what it's like to be the class clown, because if you weren't laughing and making jokes you'd break down? Were you ever at the point where you were so emotionally dead inside that you hurt people you cared about and didn't feel a thing? Have you ever had the mantra "I will never be you." as the only thing keeping you going? Have you ever failed to live up to that mantra and considered whether you were a monster too? Has your best friend of 5 years ever told you that they'd just realized they knew nothing about you?
Just because she birthed me doesn't mean she was nice to me.
kpyle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:21:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is the most annoying person I ever met. She never shuts up. I'd call her more if it didn't feel like it was a one way conversation. My dad on the other hand is completely comfortable sitting in the room together in silence. A few comments back and forth and that's it. Its no wonder they got divorced.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nexted ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like friendships tend to take a backseat with expressions like this and others.
Blood is thicker than water; Friends come and go but family is forever; etc.
But friendships are incredibly important too! Sometimes even more so, not everyone has a great home life. Friends are the people you choose to have in your life. It's not by happen stance. Sometimes those bonds are just as strong, or stronger, than any family ties.
Edit: This quote nails it.
"He is my brother. Not by something as accidental as blood. By something much stronger." "What?" "By choice."
And don't me wrong, I do love my family. I just don't think that familial bonds are worth the absolute hassle of putting up with a group of people who you are diametrically the opposite of, both politically and spiritually.
That's exactly what I did. I was raised by my maternal grandmother. After she passed away, I cut ties with the majority of my family, (everyone except my mother's sister). I haven't spoken to my mother or brother in over three years and couldn't be happier with my decision.
Toadxx ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:15:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I ever hear from my sister, it will be too soon. I wholeheartedly agree.
Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb IMO.
Most people think the meaning of that statement is backwards. How they construe marriage from water is beyond me, though.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:28:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. and I don't even have a problem with my family, just talking to them isn't really a priority. most of the time it's just gossip about other family members bad decisions or drama anyway. just last night in fact, my gf was mind boggled that I hadn't talked to my mom in over two weeks, and I haven't seen her in probably a month even though we live in the same city.
Ugh yeah, I feel like I don't have a socially legitimate excuse to avoid my family because they aren't a bunch of narcissistic child beaters. But I just don't really relate to them. Why is that such a bad thing?
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:22:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I will say to you what I would say to that dude. You care way too much and everyone else just thought it made more sense that the people you choose to be in your life would have a stronger bond than sometimes shitty family members.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:19:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol, 'care too much?' All I did was copy/paste some other dude's post... I actually agree with the sentiment behind 'blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb', I just wanted to correct the guy on his mistake. This is reddit, after all.
Sorry, but why are you assuming you know shit all about these guys' relationships based on the fact that they like internet mythbusting? That kind of fallacious logical leap seems like the thing that both interpretations of that saying are against.
My family isn't very close, though they like to pretend we are. My sister lives next door, and I can go weeks without talking to her. People think that's weird. I don't hate her, just don't want to have to visit everyday, make small talk, and drink coffee.
Honestly, I have a half sister in CA who I don't talk to anymore and I don't give a fuck if we're related or not. My Dad passed away last year and she didn't come out for the funeral because she was flying out to see some shit head she was dating instead, and the guy ended up cheating on her anyways. She didn't call to talk to us, she text me to say she couldn't make it. Fuck her, I don't care to ever speak to her again and neither does the rest of the family. Just because someone is close family, doesn't mean they can do whatever they want without any consequences.
Not to detract from your point, which I think is a great one, but I was sad to learn, "Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" is not really the origin of "Blood is thicker than water". It should be, though. It should be.
Also, not assuming you didn't know that already, or trying to correct you for using it. I think we need to keep using it until that is the saying.
Six years and counting not talking to my eldest sister. If I never speak to her or see her for the rest of my life that would be superb. I wish her no ill health simply because I wouldn't want my father or other siblings to be upset. However, when I found out she had severe IBS I enjoyed a good laugh - the self entitled overly roundly invertebrate jelly that she has become
I find it really weird that if someone has been abused by a parent, people expect them to want to keep in contact. I have seen this and it blows my mind. Why would anyone want to keep in contact with their abuser? Completely mental.
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's almost exactly what the phrase was intended to mean. It was that the blood that you shared on the battlefield with friends was thicker that the water you shared with your family at home.
I hate when people use this quote incorrectly. They say "blood is thicker than water" in an attempt to value family over friends... But I'm too lazy to correct them.
I've never understood the obsession that most cultures have with family. My parents tell me all the time that I need to make amends with my sister because we're siblings, but I have no intention of ever attempting to have a relationship with her. She's a cruel, selfish person who does nothing but attack me for my religious beliefs, sexual orientation, and anything else she can think of "wrong" with me. If she matures beyond this, I might be able to forgive her, but I would still have no desire to be close to her.
Holy shit, you used the saying properly. I would give you gold if I were not a poor man.
oden619 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I talk to my friends on skype who live a good bit away from me more than my entire family in my house put together for any given day. And I literally never speak to cousins/aunts/ etc or anything like that. Not because I particularly dislike them or anything, but I don't feel the need to communicate with someone just for the sake of it. If we had similar interests or hobbies, you know reasons you go out and make friends with other people in the first place then maybe. I just don't get socializing with people just because you share a portion of your DNA with them. Who the fuck cares? You're boring I don't want to talk to you.
The most important person in my life told me recently that he's decided to distance himself from his mother and stepfather. He said that he's realized that he often feels bad about himself when he's around them. Combining that with the crappy way he was raised, I don't blame him one bit. I am proud that he's been able to make that decision.
My girlfriends mom gets on me about this kinda shit because my brother is a total fuck that has done some bad shit. I do not like him. She always says "yeah but he's family you have to love him". Um, no I don't. Where is this law that says I'm obligated to love someone just because we share parents and lived together?
This is one thing I wish my mother would get over.
Every time we have relatives coming over to visit she'll keep on insisting that I need to talk to them and not be rude, even though I'm not interested in them at all.
Like I'm not an asshole who completely ignores them if they say 'hi', but I'm not going to go out of my way and drop what I'm doing to talk to them because we have literally nothing in common.
There's a reason why I put the importance of my close friends over my immediate family.
Whenever there's a gathering held by relatives and I decline to go because I have better things to do, she'll try to guilt trip me by saying "But they're your family, you're meant to go".
My mother's side of the family is NOTORIOUS for making a big deal out of someone not keeping in touch. If someone doesn't call just to chat for a few days, they get pissy with each other.
Funny thing is, each and every one of them complain to each other about having to always keep everyone updated on every single thing happening in their lives...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always called my stepdad "Dad" because he acted as a father figure since I was 2. I met my half-brother (from my biological father's side) for the first time a few years ago and he got pissed that I never called my biological father "Dad". That mother fucker never wanted a single thing to do with me. I have absolutely no reason to even consider him related to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear I only want my parents & siblings at my wedding in addition to my friends. I may be an asshole but I really don't care about my extended family. No one makes any attempt to be close or talk so Christmases are always awkward. I don't want that shit at my wedding. I'm not even close to becoming engaged but this is something I think about.
As a daughter who was physically and emotionally abused while also neglected, I appreciate this post so much. I have PTSD from how my mother treated me, and two of my sisters refuse to talk to me because I can't get over the "normal family tensions." I don't care if she is my mother. She gave up that title when she beat me for "breathing the wrong way."
Euchre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blood isn't thicker than water, it just stains and carries more diseases.
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's family is close and always up in each others issues, while my dad's family rarely interacts and everyone just does their own thing. My brother and I have my dad's personality when it comes to family, and my mom hates it. Although she disapproves of the aloofness of my dad's family, she never says anything to my dad, but she certainly does not hesitate to guilt-trip my brother and I for not being like her.
Totally agree. My parents booted me from my home at a young (before it's acceptable to do so in my country) age and was homeless for about a year until a friend took me in. Now that I've made my own life and people ask me why I'm not close with my family it's like "Well they don't want to be close to me either..."
I used to live in a town with both my parents in it for the first 14 years of my life for my parents together about the first 7. My dad was a fairly hardcore alcoholic and so he didn't have a huge role in my life. I moved about an hour away and still was in contact with my dad and would visit him every once in a while and I still have friends there so I like to see them too. For father's day, I decided it would be a good idea to suggest to my dad that he seek some help for his alcoholism. He didn't react well to it, so the past few times I've visited, I've stayed at friend's houses instead of crashing at his place. I've pretty much decided I'm done with my dad unless he decides to reach out to me, as I've already done all that I can. But my friend's still ask me if I'm staying at his house or if I've seen him and I wish I didn't feel like an asshole when I said no.
Sorry for the wall of text, needed to get that out.
It's annoying getting the comment along the lines of "but that's the only brother/mother/father you have. That's important!" Um, not really. Why is it perfectly okay to shy away from somebody generally recognized as a loathsome asshole, but suddenly it's taboo if that loathsome asshole happens to be related to you?
"But family is the most important thing in life." Really? What if you lived in a family of thieves, rapists, and murderers? You're still supposed to defend their actions, or stand by them in some way? No, that's fucking retarded.
My mom seems incapable of understanding this. She's a great lady, but honestly I could go weeks without talking to her and be perfectly fine/happy, but alas... if I fail to make contact with her every 24 hours she thinks the Russian mafia has abducted me and starts calling every 20 minutes until I answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad that I don't want to spend time with my close family because they haven't done anything wrong. My parents are great, but I would just rather spend time around someone else. The way I feel about it is that I chose my friends because I actually like them, but I just happened to be born into relation with my family.
Ugh. I moved interstate three years ago to distance myself from my bio fam. I've cut way back on the amount of times I speak to them over the phone, and only go back to visit them once or twice a year.
Why? Because I don't like the way they treat me. They don't show me any respect, and still try to treat me like I'm a child or something.
When I was growing up, I was constantly belittled by them, and my dad occasionally physically abused me (hit me to the point where I had welts on my back, or dragged me through the house by my hair or arm or whatever he could grab, that sort of thing). Apparently my father beating me was my fault, because I pushed his buttons.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers/High Functioning Autism when I was 23, so all those times that I was 'misbehaving'/'being disrespectful' etc...?! Yeah...
The most fun bit, though, is when I get asked what my family is up to. I tell them that I don't know, because I don't really talk to them all that much. Boy, do I get some funny looks...
...but not as many as I get when I let them know what my 'brother' has been doing. I have a really good friend whom I have known since I was 14 or 15, and I refer to him as my brother. I have since fairly early on in our friendship, as has he called me his little sister. We get each other. His bio fam are even more sucky than mine, so we 'adopted' each other. Trying to explain that to people is always so difficult... they just can't wrap their heads around it. I would have thought that it was an easy enough concept to understand!
I've spent so much of my adult life tied down by the burdens of my family. That may sound harsh but if you knew you'd understand. There are many unhealthy relationships and honestly I'm feeling basically mentally abused in life and I've stuck around so long because, family, mother, whatever. I've let it destroy me and I'm working my exit plan out now.
If I had gold I would give it to you. I hate when people use the phrase "blood is thicker than water" wrong
Gyunda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Know that problem. When i told my friend about the behaviour of my grandfather which nearly caused me to kill myself she said i shouldn' speak bad of him. I answered " would you still say that if my grandfather was hitler?"
When people find out I haven't spoken to my mother in five years, that's their reaction -- "But she's your mother!" Yeah so? Just because she gave birth to me doesn't mean she's a good person who I need in my life.
I have some family members that are complete dickholes. I draw a distinction between "relatives", ie people that I happen to share blood with, and "family" that are the people that actually matter. Some of my friends are more family than say, my mums sister that's a total a-hole.
Thank you. I had an ex girlfriend that couldn't believe I could just go a few weeks without talking to my parents or siblings. I lived in a tiny house of 6 people for 18 years of my life (I'm the oldest). I like my space and time from my family! This does not mean I hate or don't love them!
You don't talk to family? You're a monster..:.... Never take family for granted
Joomes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By the way, that phrase you're using is not the original one, no matter how much Reddit likes to circlejerk it.
The 'blood of the covenant' interpretation for the phrase isn't more than 20 or so years old.
The phrase 'blood is thicker than water' with no additions is found in writings from 1737 or earlier.
Similarly the phrase 'blood of the covenant' is found in the King James Bible, so it dates to at least 1611.
There is no evidence of the full phrase you're referencing being used prior to 1994, by Richard Pustelniak.
I'm seventeen and a huge introvert. I hate talking to people or going places, but I'm always being dragged out of my room to socialize.
"Dad, I don't like talking to people."
"I'm not people, I'm your father. It should be different."
The part of my kind that makes me an introvert doesn't give a flying fuck who you are.
Gl33m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to help stop the spread of the improper origins of that phrase, I'm posting this. I'm not disagreeing with you. In fact, I completely agree with you. That phrase is just constantly misused thanks to a Cracked.com article.
Gah, folk etymology at its worst.
This was essentially dreamed up by Albert Jack in a book about the curious origins of colloquial language. In the book, Jack mentions this "origin" phrase as an example of how a popular phrase could shift meaning entirely, even when the phrase seems to have no other meaning.
He then pulls a few instances of things like "Blood of covenant" and mashes them together with a few instances of "water of the womb" and, in a very misleading way, suggests that this is the actual origin of the phrase.
Truth is...it almost certainly isn't. Or, at least, nobody can link anything to that. For what we know and can prove, the very first time the whole "blood of the covenant, water of the womb" phrase was uttered was by Albert Jack himself.
Now, he may be correct about it...but the odds are not exactly in his favor. There really isn't any solid recorded history of his origin. Of course, that's kind of the problem with the etymology of colloquial language: Colloquial language doesn't always make its way into recordings, and when it does, the "translations" are often completely lost (think if you were trying to decipher modern English slang using only the literal definitions from a hundred-year-old dictionary to do it).
In any event, the "true phrase" is still "blood is thicker than water", and the "true phrase" still means "family first". Jack's origin...true or false...has no bearing on the current meaning of the phrase.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The most awkward part is when you tell someone the reason why you don't speak to some of your family and then it gets super awkward. Why would someone even bring it up? I've never understood that lol.
Car rides are really the opportunity to listen to loud music for me though. I live in an apartment and am usually doing something that requires listening to something else anyway. I might be annoyed if I was the friend you had in your car, buy yeah, there's nothing socially wrong with it.
If someone's slow AND putting in zero effort to get out of the way, you should be allowed to walk past them, lightly bumping them if needed.
EDIT: I desperately wish saying "excuse me" worked. It does not. I also shouldn't have to beg someone to consider people besides themselves when in public.
EDIT2: While I have some attention, let me do my public service for the day and request that everyone read this.
Highly agree with this. As a fast walker, I don't understand people's need to walk as slow as a turtle. I just want to get from A to C without having to trail B-hind your slow ass.
I mean I'm somewhat short, so I've got short legs. So I'm not going to be able to walk as fast as someone with longer legs without straining somewhat... But still I see so many people walking slower than my standard walking speed. It boggles the mind!
Then again, people getting in my way/being slow/having no awareness of their surroundings is a big pet peeve of mine.
No awareness is the worst. I drive a truck and the amount of ignorant fools in places like Walmart astounds me. I'm on the floor moving a pallet that weighs a ton and you can't move your shopping cart any faster? I say excuse me but no one ever hears.
I don't understand this either. There's unspoken unofficial rules I thought. if you need to slow down or to text, move to the side. If you just walk slow and hold hands with like 7 other people, you're all a bunch of fucking cunts. And for the love of fuck, DON'T - DO NOT just stop walking right as you get off the fucking escalator. Where the fuck do you think people will go who are RIGHT behind you? Fucking idiots.
My question, with foot traffic and road traffic, is don't you want to get where you're going? I never understood people just lollygagging their way about the day. I get the "slow down and take it all in," but that hardly applies when I'm travelling the same route I do on a daily basis. I just want to get there and move on with things I'd rather be doing than sitting in a car or walking on a sidewalk.
I have no issue with slow walkers. But those who wander from side to side and or in the middle of the sidewalk and make it tough to get past them. They need a bump. Stick to the side and give space and I have no issue with ya
Or the groups of people that look like they're trying to find another group to play Red Rover with by securing the entire width of the sidewalk shoulder-to-shoulder.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're going to walk slow, you should have enough common sense not to stand in the middle of the damn walkway.
I'm happy for you, but if you're doing this shit in a tight space (where there is not enough room for me to pass) don't be shocked when I bump you some.
See though, I bet you're aware that you're walking slower and that you can't go faster. So you probably pick a side of the sidewalk and stick to it. You probably don't meander back and forth across the entire thing, or walk with your friends 3 across blocking 80% of the sidewalk so no one else can pass, or randomly stop in the middle of the sidewalk to have a conversation and blocking 80% of the sidewalk. You can be as slow as you want, it's when these other things start piling up that people tend to lose their shit and get frustrated.
*edit: then again maybe not, there are some ragey turds in these comments that apparently just hate anyone not walking as fast as they want to walk. So fuck'em, do you, boo.
Its not about empathy. Most people are just REALLY frustrated. There are times I get stuck behind a person with a bad back or bum knee or are simply elderly. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE FRUSTRATED but that extra 30 seconds is literally me getting a train or waiting for 45 minutes.
LorenaG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, not all people are focused on getting to where they're going. You may be, and they probably are sometimes, but sometimes you're just walking. Or you have a destination but no time limit. I agree you should be conscious of others trying to get by, but there's nothing wrong with taking it slow and meandering
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, you have absolutely no right to be in the way of people who need to actually go somewhere. What bothers me more is driving slower than everyone else in traffic. Yeah, I can understand the appeal of doing a slow cruise on a Saturday afternoon, but some folks only drive because they need to get somewhere, and if the entire traffic flow goes 5 over the limit then so should you, darn it!
you have absolutely no right to be in the way of people who need to actually go somewhere.
say WHAT??
I'm a fast walker and I think thats bullshit. Driving the speed limit is one thing, there's a lot of safety involved with that, but the walking thing...get your entitled ass the fuck out of here.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:38:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are impeding traffic, YOU are the Safety hazard.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:42:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 21:46:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Traffic works for walking or cars... If slower, move right.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:03:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:04:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're a tourist, you have no excuse to lollygag in the way of other people. Step on the grass if need be, but don't obstruct foot traffic. Same with getting on and off the bus/train, there's a lot of people waiting behind you and there's no time to loiter. Move out of the way, make room for folks behind you, and then figure out where you're heading.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:11:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you literally feel you are more important than the entire rest of the town and any people who are in a rush must walk behind you at your speed because they are below you?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:39:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I mean is, why should everyone struggle to get past you when it would be better if you simply stood in a spot that didn't obstruct traffic. Are other people of no concern to your highness?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw the downvoters, those are true words. If you drive slower than everyone else then folks are going to pass you via the opposite lane and that's pretty dangerous. Even when I drive over the speed limit and someone is tailgating me then I will make room and let them pass at the first opportunity. Being in the way is the worst sin in traffic.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I even try not to tailgate, it's just very inconsiderate to drive along slowly and not let people by.
You know, sometimes people are going to a place they've never been before and are looking out for street signs or road markings.
But you're probably super important or whatever, so like... nobody should be allowed to drive in a place where they haven't scouted out and committed the roads to memory so they don't inconvenience you. Not like THEY have places they need to get to, or they would have known ahead of time everything that YOU know!
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:57:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking those people who drive at the speed limit out of sheer bloody-minded principle. If you have a foreign license plate, I can understand.
I've been pulled over for going 2 over the limit. If you don't like that I'm going the limit and not over, take it up with the cops.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:31:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fine, don't go over the speed limit on the highway, but allow others to pass as soon as possible. Your cops are clearly bored to tits though, I've driven into a police speed camera at 13 over the limit and they didn't care. They're after the big fish.
It's a good thing you can tell people's intentions from outside their vehicle, in another vehicle, so you know which people observing the speed limit to hate on.
I'm not always in a hurry. Sometimes I like to just mosey along and enjoy myself. That being said I always try to stay off to the side so people can get around me.
I don't exactly get your question.. just because someone walks slow or is "lollygagging" doesn't imply that they don't want to get where they are going. They just might not need to do it as quickly as you. And what makes the "slow down and take it all in" situation hardly apply? That seems like a perfectly legitimate reason to move to a particular point at a slower pace... regardless of whether or not that route is traveled daily or not. I get you wanting to get there and move on, but shouldn't it be just as easy to understand someone else wanting to do that differently? and as a side note, not saying this applies to you, but it seems to me that if you're focused so much on getting to the next thing or moving on, it can be a bit hard to be "present" in the moment.
It's basically "this place isn't remarkable enough to want to take an hour of precious time away from other things I could be doing, why is it to you?" Legitimately curious what people are thinking.
And my daily route should be savored? I've savored that motherfucker every day except Sunday for the last 10+ years. There's not much new to linger on.
I guess I choose to "be present" at places that are much more interesting or stimulating than the ride to/from my shop.
That makes sense.. To try and answer your question.. I think I usually walk slower/commute at a slower rate than others for a variety of reasons. For instance, sometimes the commute is the small window of time that I get to be introspective in ways my otherwise demanding day doesn't allow me to be. Other times I think I move slower because so much of everything else I do is done quickly (sports, swimming, running, biking, surfing). I move so fast doing those things, that when I'm walking on a sidewalk I have no interest in rushing. Other times, the commute might be my only time to be outside between work and obligations.. and thus the only time to take in my surroundings, listen to the birds, look at the clouds etc.. And finally and specifically geared to automobile commuting.. I know how dangerous rushing can be as a result of car accidents or losing loved ones. Even when I do feel the urge to rush home or to the beach or to see friends and family, I recognize that time difference is negligible and I enjoy the slower pace.
I call this "living without purpose" because that's really how it seems half the time. People who lolly-gag don't value their time here enough to care.
Well, that's a bit much don't you think? Life doesn't have to be a rush from place to place. Taking it slow is relaxing. Even on a route you take daily you could see tons of different people, different things happening, see the beauty in the way the sun reflects off that building or that flock of birds flying overhead. There is beauty everywhere you go, and I value my time enough to notice it.
I respect that you don't put value on that, but don't put down other people just because you don't understand it.
I don't mean to say we should always be at a 10 I just mean when you're not understand others might be so respectfully allow them their passage don't expect others to slow down because you're relaxing and have nowhere to be
Yep, if you're taking it slow you should definitely let people who need/like to move faster go by. Totally agree with you on that. Thinking that it's okay to block people because you can't be bothered to make space is just as bad as thinking people should move faster because you like to move faster.
Aero_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:43:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh they do want to get where they're going. That's why they'll run the red light you'll have to wait at because they drove 10 under the limit getting to the intersection.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:14:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was saying earlier. It's the non handicapped people. The able bodied people that won't walk fast or let you past, those are nitwits that really rustle my jimmies
You'd always notice someone that has no control over their slowness. I don't know how. They look like they're trying to get places but can't. Which I have no issue with. When someone is just slowly strolling down a busy street holding up 15 people behind them and is able to either move it wall fast but won't, they're cunts.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got shin splints. Completely invisible muscle damage caused by shitty shoes in highschool and essentially no arches in my feet.
No way to tell that I'm walking slow so that I can actually walk the next day.
People with disabilities or recovering from serious injury? It may not always be obvious. I slipped a disc a few years back and it was frustrating how slow I had to walk, and I was still in excruciating pain.
Yeah, but how the fuck can anyone know the difference?
It's not like people have "SPINAL INJURY, SORRY" signs stamped on their back. Someone could be recovering from surgery, or have a cognitive impairment. They could be high as fuck. You have no way of knowing the difference between who can and who can't moderate their walking speed to please the overlords of pedestrian cadence.
MomWTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually fractured a vertebrae last year, I did and still walk faster than all my co-workers (most are taller than me). Hell, even when stoned I walk fast, why? I've got shit to do.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:47:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think of driving on a two-lane highway. You come around a curve and two cars are just stopped. The speed limit is 55. They are outside their cars, leaning on their hoods, talking and laughing. A huge traffic jam forms instantly. How would you feel about those people?
That's what it's like living in NYC. It's not questioning someone's right to exist. It's questioning someone's right to hold up everyone else for no reason, and your right to do something about it.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do! I moved here when I was 25. Stationary people in NYC are like stationary cars on a highway: of course it's acceptable, but you sure as hell better pull over first.
By the way, I'm disabling inbox replies here because you 100% ignored my question, which suggests you know I'm right but are just arguing for the sake of arguing. Have fun!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bear in mind, while you're right that most people are being oblivious, some have invisible mobility issues. Don't go bumping in case you catch one of the rightfully slow walkers.
But also people standing in the middle of corridors.... that pisses me off. A group of people literally standing in the middle of a corridor while others are trying to pass and just have to go around them while the group could shift to the side easily. And no one seems to mind.... there's something seriously wrong....
I do this in grocery stores too, and I never noticed until my sister came with me to the store once and had to beg for me to slow down no less than 5 times. My mentality is get where you're going, get what you need, get home, and don't waste time. I can understand people needing time to think about what they're buying, but in the meantime they can kindly move over so that everyone else can get by. I do the same when I have to stop to debate a brand/price, find a coupon, or recheck my list, it's not like I'm holding you to some miraculous standard that is completely unattainable. Now of course, any sort of leisure shopping or sightseeing would mean no need to go at a fast speed, but that doesn't mean slow everyone else around you down too.
People are reacting surprisingly well to this saying. I just mixed around with my other frequently used saying "I just want to get from A to C without having to go through B"
I work in the city, but live outside for the sole purpose of getting away from the ANGRY MONSTER I apparently morph into in the subway system. I'm not rude, but I just want to get to work and get home without having to deal with assholey high schoolers and slow fat people blocking the entire passageway. Also tourists. Fuck tourists.
Unpopular opinion incoming. As a slow walker, I consider it entirely your problem. If you haven't left enough time to get somewhere, that's your problem. I will enjoy my walk. Obviously I will let you past if I'm aware that you need to get by, but don't put it on my head, you're the one who's late.
Any amount of time is too little if we allow for the possibility of the trip being prolonged arbitrarily. Getting from the bedroom to the living room could take hours if you throw up enough obstacles, but I don't think it's reasonable to say I'm "late" because I didn't walk into the living room three hours before my show comes on.
In other words, just because you walk slowly doesn't mean they're late. They only become late if you foist your speed onto them.
I think you're overstating how much time you really lose having to walk round people. Even when I've been in a hurry I can't think of any situation where I've ever lost more than 30 seconds due to slow walkers. 'Prolonging arbitrarily' seems a bit strong. Either way - if you aren't actually running late, then it's just squabbling over whose enjoyment of their walk is more important! There's no reason then that your walk should inherently be prioritised over mine. As always, you're welcome to pass, but please don't unduly interrupt my stroll or scowl at me for taking my time.
I walk slow due to an issue with my legs and I hate when people zoom around me, almost knocking me over because i walk a little slower than they want to get to the butter isle
I'm a fast walker by myself or with my husband, or son, but if I'm at the mall with my mom and nephews, they're crazy slow. I don't think it's rude to pass us if we're being slow in fact I feel super bad knowing we're being slow. Please pass us. As long as you don't scoff as you do so, I'm fine.
Yeah, I hate to think about what other people think when I'm walking slow, I can't help it my legs are stubby and unless I need to be somewhere I'm not going to put forth the extra effort.
Holy shit yes, when an entire family is walking 5 abreast AT SNAIL PACE down the sidewalk it should be legal to shove them into oncoming traffic. I walk at a fairly normal speed but always make sure i gently nudge people that i pass who have no awareness about how infuriatingly slow they are walking.
AeAeR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally get within a couple steps then just stop moving. I plant my feet like a basketball pick and just stand there. So basically, if you want to keep going, you have to get out of my way. Works like a charm.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this to. Either they move or they get hit. Its pretty funny if we bump shoulders. A lot of the time me and the other person smile when we realize we're on an unavoidable collision course. That moment when two extremely hard headed people meet each other on the sidewalk and refuse to move for the other is kind of a unifying factor. Its comforting knowing that there are other people that are just as unwilling to move as I am.
Xakuya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See this would happen but if I'm dedicated to ramming some one it's usually preceded with a "get the fuck out of my way." No camaraderie.
I'll move for legit reasons. Children, wheelchair, etc. Tho if some douche nugget won't let go of his baes hand for 5 seconds to share the sidewalk I'll walk straight through him without a word.
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stand still and brace for impact
And then THEY get all indignant about how rude YOU are.
I've had my ass kicked plenty of times and can hold my own quite well. Most people, even BAMFs will realize they should not force people to walk in the road so they can stand next to the loser on their side. When I'm walking in groups i take the initiative to share the sidewalk. Others should too. Or they'll run right into me.
It doesn't even have to be an entire family, it can just be that one lady looking at her iphone. I'm certainly not getting out of the way, when you bother to look up as you're just inches away from walking into me, then you can jump and twist and writhe out of the way for
me.
Protip: single out one of them and stare at them as you walk on an intercept course. Most likely they'll make way for you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Improve your posture and take a firm expression, then people will make way for you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time this happens to you just stare straight between the two people you want to pass through. Don't make eye contact and don't slow down. I'm a fairly short girl and used to hate stepping off the sidewalk for big groups of people. Now they part around me.
Had that shit happen on the way back to work from a break today. 4-wide and they took up the whole space leaving me no room. Just walked right through them, as far right as I could manage, and told them "Move the hell over".
I'm 6'2" and when this happens I just run into which ever one is refusing to get out of my way. I live in Orlando so it's a pretty frequent occurrence that I am just done with.
Oh my if someone is in a group and they don't get out of my way, after I make eye contact and get over to the far right side of the sidewalk... They better be prepared for a stiff shoulder. One time I hit a guy so hard he spun around, his whole group turned and all I said was "that's on you." Took the smile off his face real quick.
Hold your ground. I am the queen of Sidewalk Chicken. I already take up very little space, I'm not going to fucking stop to let you pass or walk in the grass or some shit. You don't need to walk four people across shoulder to shoulder to keep up a conversation. I am not afraid to bump into you if you refuse to move.
FUCK. Sorry I keep getting even more pissed off at the a-holes that I see whenever I go out to lunch at work. So many suits that think they're better than me and own the sidewalk...
Those people are people who haven't been informed that they are not static objects in the universe, and not everything is going to get out of their way. I walk directly through them, scattering people as needed. It's a physics lesson more than anything else; I'm really just concerned that their mindset will continue into the next street where they will be educated in a manner far more rude than mine by the next bus going past.
That's when it becomes a game of chicken. You just have to bowling ball right through the row of morons...which is incredibly satisfying. I love the looks you get when you change your path to try to get out of the way as much as possible, the idiots keep bearing down on you like you're not going to take action, then blasting through their ranks like you're in the Red River World Championship
The other day I was at the grocery store and there was a large family just standing in one of the wider aisles across the end of a smaller aisle, scattered and waiting while the father looked at a product. I was trying to exit the smaller aisle and it was busy, so I edged my cart into the gap between a few of the children with a bright 'Excuse me, kids!' and as I walked off the father turned around to me and shouted 'Did you just cut off my children?!' as if I'd slapped one of them in the face or something. I just smiled widely and replied 'I sure did! You're all in the way' and kept walking. The aisle-blocking was annoying enough, but the idea that the whims of this man and his family should come before the convenience of every other person in the shop was just ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHA, 'it should be legal to shove them into oncoming traffic', god, that's a print.
Or one guy the size of 3 people. I saw one of those the other days and decided to cut around him on the left. At the same time this lady came shooting through that gap. She made eye contact with me and saw me coming but wasn't going to move so I slipped in front of the guy and kept a good pace to make distance. I heard this outraged, "Excuse me!". I wound up not acknowledging him because my instinct was to tell him to get used to it if his fat ass blocked off half 10 foot hallway. Excuse me indeed, you are the one being rude.
Right? It's even worse when there's a ton of foot traffic and they just stop right in the middle of the main thoroughfare to compare naval lint or whatever it is they're doing. How about walking another 10 feet, stepping out of the crush, and then figuring out where the hell you're going.
I live in Manhattan. I honestly, legitimately, 100% believe everyone coming in by train or plane should be handed a one-page guide on how to stay out of the fucking way.
I do the same. You stay on your side I'll stay on mine haha. This group was taking up the entire sidewalk coming towards me the other day. I kept all the way to the right and just walked through one of them. They made no effort to even turn a shoulder to make room but I get called an asshole.
I'm not sure really. I guess clients that come in from out of town like it? Nobody who lives in New York has ever had a positive reaction when I told them I work in Times Square, though.
No - the best is when you walk past people who are two or three wide on the sidewalk and you have to go out of your way to pass them and one of them says "Oh, excuuuuuse me." My whole head literally figuratively explodes.
Or, if it's a horizontal line of people, crash through while bellowing "RED ROVER".
Jhago ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often do this while saying "Excuse me" and putting a smile. Makes them less likely to start getting mad.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:06:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell when you see a group of folks who all walk together slowly, shoulder to shoulder, down the sidewalk, it should be required that someone pull and Ndamukong Suh and bull rush that offensive line to keep pedestrian traffic flowing.
That's exactly right, and it's what people don't understand. "So what if you were delayed for a couple of seconds?" Well, those couple of seconds might cause me to miss the light at the crosswalk, and then that 30-second delay might make me miss the train, and all of a sudden I'm showing up ten minutes late for work because some jackhole didn't give any thought to anyone else.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:48:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you're late to work because of a 30 second delay that then triggered another small delay, it's not the worlds fault. It's not everyone's fault you're not punctual. I literally just flew back from NYC yesterday. Was there with my family who are as touristy as you can be. Not once did anyone bump or shove us to get out of their way. You live in NYC, so you know very well the massive amounts of tourists that come to visit and the congestion that comes with it.
If you're late to work because of a 30 second delay that then triggered another small delay, it's not the worlds fault.
Right, it's not the world's fault. It's the fault of the asshole who didn't feel like being considerate of other people. And I don't know where you're getting "small delay" from. Now that your visit has made you an expert in NYC I'm sure you recall that the next subway can routinely take 15+ minutes to show up. But even that's besides the point. The point is that getting around in NYC is a long series of cascading bottlenecks, so you have to minimize your odds of getting caught in each one so the delays don't pile on top of each other.
You live in NYC, so you know very well the massive amounts of tourists that come to visit and the congestion that comes with it.
Here you're missing one crucial element: none of that is necessary. Let's assume you and your family were as considerate as you think you were. Why can't everyone else do the same? If they did, delays would go way down, and people who aren't on vacation and have actual deadlines won't be so negatively affected by tourists.
The reason that tourists are so inconsiderate, of course, is that they're on vacation and they don't care that they chose to go someplace that's an actual, functioning city and not an amusement park where everyone caters to their whims. But NYC is based around millions of people learning to deal with the mass of people so that everyone can get where they're going. If a tourist doesn't feel like doing that, as you say, it's not the world's fault.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read it and found this article to be really good actually. It definitely kind of changed my view and I see more where you were coming from originally. Thanks for sharing the article.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Geez, you didn't have to be so mean about it. I'm def no expert on NYC. Also, I was the one that initiated our exchange. I can certainly see where you're coming from. My apologies for being a little dickish earlier. I'm not that much of a douchebag IRL, still sort of one though
Sounds like your family obeyed the rules of the sidewalk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a little embarrassed to share this but, I was walking towards a group of people walking three wide on a residential sidewalk after a snow (it was narrow but shoveled). I moved as far right as allowed and had to give the person on the end a shoulder because instead of falling behind the group for ten seconds, her conversation was more important. She did not get knocked over, not sure if she understood though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This applies while driving too.
After visiting Oregon for the last few years, I know the Rogue River Highway pretty well and how to drive it. Occasionally we will get some newbies from out of state who don't know how to drive it, and will crawl along it at 25mph when the rest of us are trying to go 55.
Worse, they make zero effort to pull off and let others go past. There are passing points, but they are particularly risky to use.
I agree completely. There's really nothing like going over a short hill while in heavy traffic and discovering it's just two douchebags going 55 in both lanes right next to each other.
Yeah. You first give them a tap but then give that cunt a pit maneuver when they start driving erratically likely because they're pissed. Works every time
That article in edit2 is spot on. I didnt have time to wait for you and party of 12 standing on the street corner taking pictures.
I need to cross the street, so I will do so legally (and safely if major intersection) at the cross walk, even if that means I am ruining your picture.
Cambian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the ideal my dad instilled in me "walk with a purpose or get the fuck out of the way"
A few weeks ago, I actually texted my brother to tell him I just walked behind a guy for about 4 minutes and we had the exact same walking speed. It made me so happy.
That happened to me once on my commute! The guy walked RIGHT in front of me and I was like "aw fuck" as I typically am, and then we went to the exact same place and he was just a bit ahead of me the entire time. It was beautiful.
Zukuni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say excuse me sternly but politely and most people will usually move. If it doesn't work then just go through them if you have to.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly tempted to walk around with an air horn. Who the fuck doesn't turn around to see what's up when someone is literally yelling "EXCUSE ME" behind you?
I get frustrated and am in a bad habit of speeding up and preparing to knock people out of my way... never once have they not moved. Apparently I have got rude comments back for making them get out of my way, I just totally ignore them. Life is easier now!
I really wish they would put walking lanes in places like malls with a left lane for passing slow people. I wonder how road rage would work in the mall.
I work in retail and have no patience when I have to go somewhere. I find saying "sorry, mind if I squeeze through" and starting to squeeze through the nearest gap works wonders. Makes my life so much faster.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or kill them
Sirspen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I spent a month in China and forcing through crowds was pretty much required in some areas there. Definitely something I'm no longer afraid to do in the states after that trip. If you have to bump someone, a quick sorry or "excuse me" is enough. If they make a scene, they're the asshole, not you.
As someone who walks side by side with my spouse at a reduced speed because I have medical disabilities and I need him for balance and support I strongly urge you to NOT nudge anyone. I've been bumped before and it has caused me to fall over. Be patient with other humans and your fast walking will get you where you need to go in due time.
Going upwards in an escalator I saw the funniest sight ever over on the downwards going one where the whole escalator was pacing along slowly in the pace of a seemingly oblivious person with downs syndrome who was blocking both "lanes".
tiamdi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or hockey hip check into grocery shelves/displays
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a fast walker, I do this all the time. People walk so damn slow and it drives me nuts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living in northern england is great all you have to say is "SCUSE" and people move aside and tut at you as you go past
Plowing through people while saying "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY" should be legal if your path is obstructed by intentionally slow walkers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish "excuse me" still meant "excuse me", a polite half-apology that meant I'm not trying to disrespect you in anyway, and I apologize if I'm in the wrong, but I just need to ______, thanks!
But some passive-aggressive a-holes muddied the whole thing up. It's like the "bless your heart" business I've been hearing about in the South, except that, as a phrase, "excuse me" was so very useful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a big guy, and so I've grown to be constantly aware of my surroundings, I always have to know if I'm in someone's way, or if there is room for me to move somewhere. It's easy, you just have glance around every so often and be aware of footsteps. So it confuses the shit outta me how people can stand in the middle of a walkway talking, and as you walk towards them they don't budge an inch.
I usually just say "move the fuck out of the way.... please"
I probably shouldn't do that.
Vtepes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
London underground is the worst. It's a cesspool of ignorant cunts. They insist on walking the same slow speed as the person beside them and not moving the fuck out of the way when the rest of the passengers that got off behind them have somewhere to go. Then you get the cunts that think "keep left" means walk on the right and get in everyone elses way that is walking on the left. They all get shoulders as far as I'm concerned.
Our football coaches used to tell us that if someone next to you when we were doing sprints was slacking off and causing the team to have to run extra they didn't care if we gave a them nudge to encourage them to run faster.
I think it's totally acceptable to give a little shove to rude slow-pokes who ignore your presence.
I'd agree with everything except edit 2 on New Yorkers.... Having a brother-in-law from there, visiting his family, friends, neighbors, business owners/workers....all rude as fuck. I felt the entire atmosphere was very condescending, sexist, and generally horrible. Probably some selection bias (on my sister's part?), but I've never met a person who admitted to being from New York who wasn't an ass.
One time,I hde a discussion with a lady at my register about how she refused to be called 'African American'. She said she was not born in Africa, and so, she was just an American who happened to be black.
geoper ยท 980 points ยท Posted at 18:44:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention people who immigrate from Africa but people won't call them African-American because they are white.
[deleted] ยท 681 points ยท Posted at 22:13:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My school tried to expel a South African white kid for applying for scholarships and checking African American. They lost the attempt, hard
[deleted] ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The category "African-American" is too broad in its current use. Dark-skinned people currently living in the US can be from any continent.
AXP878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to see white people's reactions when affirmative action is repealed and they have a harder time getting in to college because all of the spots are filled by Asians.
Depends. If you're going for admission, probably white. Scholarships? Schools pay a lot of money to be "diverse", you could get a lot of money for being a minority. I know plenty of people(asians, one from the Dominican republic, etc) who have received close to full tuition from state schools simply for their heritage. It's kind of awesome for them, a really cool opportunity whether you agree with it or not
eqleriq ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:13:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is sad that certain people were ridiculously oppressed for a long time and thrust into "equality" without any attempts at balancing besides these, and other people were also ridiculously oppressed for a long time and thrust into "equality" with minor attempts at balancing, and other people were also ridiculously oppressed for a long time and thrust into "equality" with no attempts at balancing.
But how politics works is representation and $$$, not "universal justice and fairness"
Or the questions asking about what religion you are, or what country you're originally from (almost like the race question I guess.) And then down at the bottom they have some tiny writing saying something like
"*This information you've provided is confidential and will not be used against you."
That part is true. It's not used against you. Non Caucasians will have a better chance of being accepted, in the college's attempt to be "diverse". So in a sense being Caucasian works against you, but it isn't used against you, it's just mutually exclusive with things that would have worked for you.
no because the reality is that skin color is what got most people to where they are or where they could not be. Sure lots of families had the benefit from not having to deal with minorities as competition and its not something you can just erase over the course of a few years. Everyone always tries to find the "them" to justify the actions of the "us", pretending like nothing needs to be done to provide equal opportunity instead of one based on who you are lucky to be born to. The color of your skin matters when you are not comfortably placed in society
KSFT__ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:00:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...you don't think that's sad?
AXP878 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it sad that it needs to be on a scholarship application, not the fact that it is on a scholarship application.
ilmmad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reasoning is that black students are generally academically disadvantaged, so they should be given extra opportunities. The problem with that is that blacks aren't actually disadvantaged, poor people are. Regardless of skin color or gender or religion or anything else they might ask about, poor people just plain suck academically. But if you're a poor white kid, sucks to be you. Rich black kid? Sure, come on in and get extra financial aid and reduced entry requirements
Yes, that sucks for the poor white kid. If only he was black, he could have gained an advantage he didn't earn. Maybe he could cash in some of that white privilege I hear so much about.
AXP878 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd gladly trade my scholarship for white skin. Where do I sign up?
Why would you want white skin over whatever you have now? Also, do you feel like you earned your scholarship based upon your scholastic merits only? Or did your skin color factor into it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you were a minority you would understand how asinine your comment was
Would I? If I was Asian, I'd think minorities have a pretty good chance of success, since Asians are doing great in school and business. But oh yeah, we don't hate them because they aren't brown enough.
If I was Indian, I'd be really worried since I'd be browner than many black people, AND I'd be a minority. Or I'd look around to see how many of my people are doctors and businessmen/women, and I'd think that I could succeed like them.
Oh right, you meant only certain kinds of minorities. Unfortunately for your argument, some minorities are kicking ass. Did whitey just decide to not hold those guys down, but decided to hold black people down?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
At least there are still some scholarships and such for financial reasons or academic success. As a poor white kid I managed to get free college that way. But nowhere as easily.
AXP878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're full of shit. 72% of all private scholarships go to white people compared to 28% going to minorities. This is despite the fact that minorities make up over a third of applicants.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:10:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They should be made on the answer. We live in a largely implicit racist society where people with a certain skin color are systematically discriminated against. If college admissions is one place to counteract this discrimination, so much the better.
Except a black applicant whose parents are well off does not need that help. Affirmative action is government sanctioned racism.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:19:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
it's not designed to work in every case. no policy is; that's ridiculous utopianism. affirmative action is rough justice. and rough justice is better than no justice.
Since we are in the real world, we might as well start judging black fathers who abandon their families at an alarming rate. You know, causing this whole mess to continue. The more intact families we see, the faster all this shit goes away. Unwanted kids (of all colors) are filling our prisons.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i'm unclear what your point is...I also agree that we should address fathers who abandon their children.....
You brought up "the real world" and I decided I'd bring up something "real" that nobody is talking about. It's easier to blame everything on racism, but it's so much more complex than that.
Racism is miles ahead of where it was 50 years ago, and yet blacks don't seem to be improving much. Why? Could it be because it's not the main problem we have concerning black peoples success?
The #1 problem is unwanted children. Why not solve that problem? Because even talking about it will kill your chances in public office. Nah, let's make people feel good and tell them something about the playing field being unfair, while we have a black president and black woman billionaire. Somehow they made it. Might it have been their exceptional determination to succeed? Nah.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i honestly don't get your point. You're pointing to what you see as a bigger problem, but that has no bearing on whether affirmative action is better than nothing.
You're choosing to ignore everything else and we're only talking about whether affirmative action is better than nothing? Ok.
It's worse, because it's racism. Even if it's benefitting people who racism hurt in the past and hurts today, it's still worse because we are giving things to people based on the color of their skin.
Not too long ago, Jews were systematically collected and exterminated. Surely they would never be able to achieve any success for hundreds of years, right? Oh, they got their shit together? Too bad for them, they could have gotten in on some of that sweet affirmative action.
I want people to succeed on their own merits. Affirmative action is government sanctioned racism, and it's holding us back.
AXP878 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:46:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? You're going to use two people's success to prove that institutional racism is no longer a problem?
How did they escape this institutional racism you speak of? Oprah was dirt poor, raised by a single mother. How did she do it?
AXP878 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think of it like a race. The white guy's starting line is 10 feet ahead of the black guy's. This doesn't mean the white guy will always win. Maybe the black guy is an Olympic athlete and has the ability to overcome the white person's advantage. Doesn't make it a fair race.
Living in a racist society doesn't mean it's impossible for a black person to be successful any more than it means it's guaranteed for a white person to be successful.
If it was that simple, it would be easy to fix with affirmative action. In your race scenario, you're forgetting many other factors. Blacks (young males) commit crimes at a staggeringly high rate. However, we just say "look how unfair it is that blacks are arrested 10x as often as whites!" without asking how much more crime they are committing. It's a lot more.
Also, do we think that all cops are racist pigs looking to lock up black guys for no reason? I think a small minority of cops are, yes. The rest of the guys are just dudes looking to do their jobs. Why assume they are out to get black people and let white people slide?
No. Some scholarship are particularly designed to help people from certain disadvantaged minorities. I know I will never be eligible for one but that doesn't mean I think this measure for equal opportunity is 'sad'.
Id say it's more of a culture problem. People of color raised in good homes end up being good people. Whites raised in shit homes tend to end up being shit people. It's just unfortunate that many blacks grow up in perpetuating cycles of shit homes
I would argue that the topic of discussion, affirmative action, is exactly that. It is a huge benefit specifically for minorities, my guess is mostly black people
Good luck if you think you can change culture without shaming and coming across offensive. It's easy to make someone feel bad for smoking or drinking and driving. It's trickier to do that with race and socioeconomics
Scarcity of money begets scarcity. As does scarcity of good family practice, ESPECIALLY with scarcity of money. If you're rich but your parents are horrible, you probably will still be able to count on having a place to go home to, you won't be one screw-up from the sidewalk.
Depends. I've seen a lot of my wealthier friends suffer because they can feed their vices so much and never had to have self control ingrained as a child. One kid I knew was kicked out his home for causing trouble and lived in a shed at their neighborhood park for about a month
To say black people have a single culture is wrong
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:22:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't get what anyone's skin color has to do with anything. It's a pointless questions anymore.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point is to counteract racism. Through no fault of their own, people with black skin are disadvantaged by being born in a social system which privileges people with light skin. By asking what colour a person's skin is, and adjusting admissions accordingly, it is possible to counteract this unfairness.
I'm, sorry but I just plain disagree here. Everyone screams for equality whether it be for blacks, whites, women, immigrants, etc.. By giving special treatment to one group of people whether it be tax cuts, scholarships, or even a job for that matter, simply to fill a quota, or when they may not be the most qualified, you are doing the exact thing you claim to be fighting to fix. You basically help one person who may have been in a bind, and potentially throw another under the bus. There are people of all colors that have shit to deal with, have crummy upbringings, and just get dealt a bad hand. It's not fair, or right, to give one color preferential treatment simply because they supposedly have it worse off. Equality means we ALL get the SAME treatment. You can try and spin it around any way you want, but the moment you give one color another benefit over another you are being racist the other way. In actuality, your statement should really read, people with WHITE skin are disadvantaged by being born into a social system which favors people of DARK skin. I say this because I cannot think of a single thing that a white person is entitled to that a black person isn't. The same cannot be said the other way around. I know it sounds harsh, but the bottom line is if we really want equality, we need to quit giving special treatment based purely on the color of someone's skin, and actually give everyone the same treatment. The current system does nothing but breed hostility, and draw a line between us.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:06:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
uh, what? The question is whether there is more or less unfairness with affirmative action policies than without them. It seems obvious to me that, all things considered, there is less unfairness with them in place. Of course it makes white applicants worse off than they would have been without the policy. That's the point. The question is whether the white applicants' chances of admission, in virtue of such policies, are as bad as a black applicant's would have been (since birth) without affirmative action. And the answer to that is plainly No.
You couldn't be more wrong. Let's forget about white people for a minute. Asians and Indians must have exceptionally high test scores to get considered for certain scholarships and admissions. They receive none of the "white privilege" that you allude to.
The fact is, affirmative action is a racist policy. It may have been intended to fight racism. That's irrelevant at this point. Racist policies can't eliminate racism.
luquaum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By asking what colour a person's skin is, and adjusting admissions accordingly, it is possible to counteract this unfairness.
Yes, but that's not happening. They're adjusting for "African Americans" which doesn't equal blacks.
2059FF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Several studies indicate that short people are disadvantaged by society as well, and this through no fault of their own. Why don't colleges adjust admission requirements according to height?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i mean, maybe they should then? what is your point?
It's indicative of the different levels of oppression; It's similar to the reasoning as to why LGBQA- Lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, asexual- aren't things that can help you get into college, but being transgender can, in some places- At least from a diversity perspective. The entire LGBTIQA+ spectrum experiences bigotry and all that awful shittiness, but trans* people are more likely to experience the worst of it.
Short people do get the short end of the proverbial stick (Absolutely on purpose, fight me ;) ) but not to the extent that it creates generational poverty- Which is what the initial oppression of black people did. It's also why they get special admissions to things like university, or occasionally job considerations. Granted, university in the U.S is expensive as fuck in general (It's gone up like 1000%+ since 1991 I believe) and that needs to get looked at, but that's also a separate problem.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:24:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Racism' isn't inherently objectionable. When they cast a black actor to play Martin Luther King, that was, in a sense, racist. But it wasn't objectionably racist. What is objectionable is when people are systematically made worse off than others because of their skin color, because that is unfair--not just when they are treated differently in any way. And because that discrimination is unfair, we ought to minimise it, and affirmative action is one way to do so. So it is racist in one sense--that is, that it treats black people differently from others--but not in the objectionable sense; rather it is designed precisely to counteract the objectionable (unfair) racism that happens everywhere else.
I agree with you that racism isn't inherently a bad thing, I'm of the opinion that it is bigotry that is objectionable (eg: racism motivated by hatred). However, isn't the discrimination of affirmative action still harmful even without bigotry?
Someone who has achieved a significant out on their own may have those achievements dwindled, disregarded, or even limited simply because they share characterstics in common with a group of people who receive affirmative action.
"I'm not going to hire this person not because I hat black people, but this person is black and I'm concerned they haven't had to work as hard to get where they are and may not have acquired the skills necessary to be the best applicant for the position."
AXP878 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Affirmative action doesn't give you better grades in university. You still have to pass your classes and graduate.
No, but it doesn't require as high if grades. Sure, you still have to pass, but in theory and practice, someone who has a 3.5 GPA is more likely to get the same opportunity as someone who had a 4.0 GPA, and higher placement examine scores.
I mean, neither of those are my metric of a qualified or talented individual, but my metrics aren't represented in either scenario, so they hold constant either way.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:36:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that person's having her achievements dwindled is a shame, but it is a very small price to pay for a fair(er) opportunity at higher education for a huge portion of the population. We have to weigh evils here, and the answer seems obvious to me.
Wouldn't it negatively impact the perception of anyone who shares that common characteristic though? Wouldn't people see them as needing a handout in order to succeed. This effects both categories in the group, people who accept affirmative action assistance, and people who don't.
Also, at what point do you unwind it and say, "Whelp, our job here is done! We've righted the wrongs enough to compensate for a bunch of dead people's errors."
Also, what about people who who were not alive to perpetrate those wrongs, and are disenfranchised because of that? I, nor anyone in my lineage as far back as I can trace it have owned slaves or participated in bigotry (and in fact fled it during WWII), but simply because I appear to be of one race or another determines whether I get a subsidy, or am forced to pay for it.
So, at what point is it okay to say, "Well, it's okay to subsidize these people because of the color of their skin because many of them were disenfranchised, but it is also okay to ignore these people (and in fact force them to subsidize the other group of people) regardless of whether they were responsible for the other group's suffering?"
I really don't understand.
I don't really see it as "an answer." It's simply changing around who is getting disenfranchised by the system who has a history of perpetrating the rules that enable people to be legally disenfranchised.
Slavery is a statist institution. Who enforced Jim Crow laws? Who prevented regress of individuals in bondage? Who enabled one man to take the life of another (and in fact protected them doing so) because that man simply tried to achieve their own freedom?
The state.
It also acts in the same capacity in the opposite direction. It isn't making whole the individuals who suffered, it is redistributing resources from one group of people (who did not perpetrate these crimes) to another group of people (who were not subjected to it). It's a political pony show and all it will do is cause more racial tension and resentment. Let the dead have their quarrels. There is no need to continue the basis of their ignorance by trying to right wrongs which could not possibly be.
Yeah, I'm white as rice and American/Canadian, but my parents/ancestors all lived in Africa for the past 300 years or so... I'm pretty sure that counts for something.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I get lots of shit too. I'm a little over half native American (Lakota Sioux Pine Ridge Rez) but despite my physical features being Lakota (fat nose, dark long hair, prominent cheeks, easy tan) the fact that my skin is white makes everyone think I'm one of those "I'm 1/2000th native" white people. No I was raised as a Lakota, by my Lakota mother, and am more native than I am white. I'm not some 100% anglo man trying to act hard and reap benefits.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still amazed you guys actually have that on forms.
As satisfying as these anecdotes may seem to many, this isn't really how African-American is defined, for example in Wikipedia it is defined as "an ethnic group of citizens or residents of the United States with total or partial ancestry from any of the native populations of Sub-Saharan Africa."
As you described the kid as white, he probably has no native Sub-Saharan ancestry.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:54:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair many native African groups are naturally white.
My mom was from South Africa and I always wanted to (jokingly) do that but never did. Damn. Maybe I could have gotten away with that?
Zombrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Care to give us more to the Story?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean you got pretty much all of it. His family lawyers cornered the administration and said "yo, this is illegal, if you do it you're screwed" and administration was like "aight"
psymunn ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a South African Canadian, I'm okay with him arguing about a label. But applying for scholerships does make him a dick. I mean it's not like White South Africans have a flawless record when it comes to racial issues...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:56:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I think colleges taking a black man over a white man just because they want to look more "accepting" is extremely racist. I remember King of the Hill showed this pretty well when Connie (an Asian girl on the show) wasn't accepted into a school despite having a perfect record and all the qualifications because she was Asian and the school didn't want to look like they only accepted Asians due to an already high amount of Asian students.
psymunn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:01:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The purpose of affirmative action isn't actually about appearing accepting. The theory is more about trying to create a viable middle class in communities that are more vulnerable to overcome systemic poverty and ghettoisation. There's arguments for and against, but the goal isn't about appearing diverse. It's intended to even the playing field.
ilmmad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I checked off White and African-American when filling out the Common App (a college application which many schools accept) sort of as a joke because by dad is from Zimbabwe. It said it was just for demographics so I didn't pay it much thought.
A few weeks later I was offered a full-ride scholarship to one of the schools I applied to as a result. But I turned it down because like you said, it would be dickish to take advantage of that.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:05:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, because he is white, and, according to you, from a wealthy country, you assume he couldn't have also grown up in poverty? That doesn't strike you as racist?
That is exactly the crux of the issue. If you make assumptions about individuals based solely on their skin color and nationality, you are likely to be way off base and make poor decisions. When this process is systemic it stands to disenfranchise people regardless of those characterists.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The US has 300 million people. If you want to make policy decisions that aren't done on generalisations and assumptions, everyone they concern will be dead before you're halfway done. There is simply no other way.
Yo, white South African here. We were super wealthy, but it's called EXCHANGE RATES. They kind of fuck you over pretty hardcore when you move from a third world country to a first world country. It isn't like it's a direct conversion of all your money- assuming that kid was wealthy in the first place.
Oh! Because they actually said that the scholarship was aimed at poor black students! I mean, he was white, he was certainly rich and accomodated. Who has seen a white guy in poverty? Not me, haha. I know that all of those white beggars and white guys in trailer parks are only CEOs having a change of scenery for a while.
Making assumptions about people based solely on their skin color is wrong, not all white people have money to spare and not all black people are in need of a scholarship.
For all we now, the guy in question can be a middle class guy with enough money to pay for a career without the need for a scholarship. That is actually the point of filling out forms like that, to explain their case. The filling of such a form does not in any way guarantee you are going to get it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
african-american means black. google it. it's just a misnomer for christ sake--not everything means its literal translation.
there are 300 million people in the US. policies must be made based on generalisations and assumptions. There's simply no other way.
I am well aware that not all white people are well off, nor all black people badly off. It's rough justice, which is better than no justice.
The real issue is poverty, actually I agree! But that's no excuse for cheating a system meant to help those who are victims of unfair prejudice. What is your point?
"For all we know...for all we know..." again, see my point above. These are generalisations, as is every public policy. get fucking real, we live in a world with 7 billion people.
If 'making assumptions about people based on their skin color is wrong' then we ought to support policies like affirmative action which are designed to counteract the suffering that such assumptions inflict upon people of color every day.
I see your point and I agree with you here (in general, particular disagreements might be personal views), but your original comment was not about the whole system. Yes, we need to make generalizations sometimes, and yes, assumptions are sometimes made when there is a large group of people that share a common aspect. Good or wrong, it is easier that way.
The thing is, we were talking about a particular case, where a guy coming from Africa, presumably with an american nationality, ticked the box reserved for african-americans. This term, as you pointed out, means dark-skinned, black, from african descent, whatever you want but not white. I still agree with you.
What I didn't agree with you at first, was that the reason you gave to point he was wrong was the fact that he was white, from a wealthy country, and applying for a scholarship aimed at poor black students. Of those three, one is a fact (he was white), one is irrelevant (being from a wealthy country does not make you wealthy), and the other was pure speculation (nowhere does it say it was a scholarship aimed at black poor students).
What I said was that your comment had no ground, simply making it a matter of "he was white, he was wrong".
African Americans, also referred to as Black Americans or Afro-Americans, is an ethnic group of citizens or residents of the United States with total or partial ancestry from any of the native populations of Sub-Saharan Africa.
I'm a black american; the label is more accurate. Stop with your PC bullshit and just fucking embrace it. Destigmatize the use of the word black in the context skin color and it wont be an issue that people can argue about in order to avoid confronting REAL problems that have a SIGNIFICANT impact to the socioeconomic status of the decendents of a group of people who were brought to this country as slaves, discriminated against by law for a century after a war was fought to replace the slavery dependent agrarian economy of the south with the industral one of the north (in an effort to liberate said people). These decendents have had to face the difficulties brought about de facto segregation, which still persist to this day. Rather than arguing about a label, argue about the ways in which this country can, or cannot (in accordance with your opinion), adopt policies which will help these people gain an equal footing with their white counterparts. I wasn't even born in this country and yet I can appreciate at 18 years the opportunities that living in this country has afforded me and work to broaden the opportunities which those born the descendents of slaves in this country can appreciate. Lets talk about the real problem rather than waste time complaining about how Affirmative Action isn't fair, having to build yourself up from the little that your mother has been able to accrue in the past 6 years earning $20 an hour isn't fair either, but then again there are many who don't have THAT much. Rather than loathing how I don't have what others have, I want to help give what little I have to those who have less. If you think otherwise tell me why and lets discuss our viewpoints so that we may better understand eachother and ourselves. And if this issue agitates enough to talk about maybe you'd also like to effect change in your environment and act. Go vote. People have died and are continuing to die for that right. Don't take it for granted.
P.S. I apologize for the awful formatting and grammar. I'm on my phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with most of what you have said. If you'll read the post to which you're responding again you'll see that I wrote "even if that made a difference (it doesn't)", by which I was intending to imply that labels are not the real issue (and the issues youve raised, are)
Or Black people from the Caribbean. I had one get so angry at one of those government forms where your only choice if black, is "African American". The guy ranted for a good 10 minutes about it.
That's the main reason why you won't hear African Canadian. The ancestry of the majority of Black people in Canada is Caribbean.
Arkazia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Did not know. Is it mostly a eastern Canada thing? I don't really ask about ancestry much anyways so it might be a thing here out west and I don't know
Nova Scotia has a large community that came from freed American slaves and of course those from the underground railroad that didn't go back to the states. But by and large it's been immigration from the Caribbean, Canada being in the commonwealth makes it much easier to do.
It's bad when people in other countries refer to black people as African American, born and raised in Russia? African American, born and raised in the UK? African American, born and raised in Africa? African American (unless you are white)
Or Black people from the Caribbean. I had one get so angry at one of those government forms where your only choice if black, is "African American". The guy ranted for a good 10 minutes about it.
I had an Arab friend from Libya who unwittingly checked the box on a college entry form because he saw "African". The school rejected his application and he got a big long lecture about trying to game the system and/or being offensive to "African Americans". He was thoroughly confused by the whole ordeal.
I read an article once about a boy who entered an won a contest for African Americans. People were upset that he was white- even though he was from South Africa.
I agree with you completely, but the (black) college advisor was really on his case about "trying to pass off as a minority for special treatment", when... well.... Arabs from Libya are a pretty qualified minority in the midwestern US. Fwiw, he wasn't (and isn't) a citizen of the United States, so he was never trying to work the "African-American" angle, he was just checking the only thing that said "African" in it somewhere. He selected "white/caucasian" on the next application and got less crap for it.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:57:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New sit-com idea: A white, African family moves to an American inner city and refer to themselves as African American. Cast sassy black lady as a landlord/school teacher/ friend of the family.
I like this idea. A friend of mine from summer camp was African American, and lived next door to an African immigrant family. She was marvelling how different her and her neighbors are. Add in the white africans, and you have a great mix.
In that case you can call them Nigerian-American or Kenyan-American depending on where they immigrated from. You don't call german-americans european-americans.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or those black people who are not American nor have they ever been there.
Arkazia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention people who are from other countries with black people, or people with heritage there. Jamaica, Haiti, etc.
I've never met a person from an African country who has identified him or herself as "from Africa." They always refer to themselves as Senegalese or Nigerian or what have you. Africa's bigger than the US and Europe combined...
Met an old white dude in S. Africa, we were talking about racism and stuff he was like "I hate it how people call me European, my family has been here for 150 years, I'm goddamn African!" Amen to that.
Co-worker of mine is a white immigrant from South Africa. His graduate program tried to claim him as African-American to get some diversity-based grant.
I used to call myself African-American because I thought it was funny. Palestine is in Africa, after all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL some Africans are white.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend like that, and I always introduced him as African-American to get reactions out of people. He was the whitest guy I knew, but he was born in Africa so it was great watching people argue that he wasn't really African-American.
A friend of mine told me a story about someone he knew who I believe was from South Africa. The point is the dude was African (but white).
The white African had numerous experiences of trying to convince people of where he was from, his nationality, etc. because it was too hard for them to comprehend that you can be white and from Africa. Like, "Hahah right. But, okay, where are you really from?"
It's as if people think that instead of being born Africans sprout out of the ground, from the rich and dark soils, and that's why they're black.
And then there are those Jamaican-British people, who are neither African nor American, but overly PC newscaster types have their heads explode when they're told they're not "African-American."
African-American is still not the right term. You would say Nigerian-American or Angolan-Amerocan or whatever. African-American is for descendents of the African slave trade.
For my own sanity I tend to view African American as its own ethnic group separate from people from Africa. I just define it as people descended from people brought in as slaves and having a common history in that slavery, the civil rights movement, etc. Maybe the name is not completely accurate but it does separate those exception cases in my mind.
Black is the encompassing term for folks who ancestry(connected directly or through the types of migration) is from the continent + and racial designation. African american is the nationality term for Black Americans. outside of the US, it's Afro-(country).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an inconsistent thing. Just now I described my father-in-law as Filipino-American, because his parents were immigrants from the Philippines and he was born in America. But were they the Filipino-Americans once they became citizens, and is he just an ethnically Filipino American? I wouldn't call my wife half-Filipino-American, I just call her half-Filipino. But, of course, she's also half-white, which is rarely specified in either her native American or adoptive Australian context.
It's like the Obama thing. That dude is literally mixed race or biracial, half and half like my wife. Few people think of that first, though, because for most Americans having black heritage to any visible degree puts you in the black community - even if you were raised, like Obama, by the white side of your family. Then again, living on his own as an adult he gravitated towards the black community, including in his choice of spouse. Still, no-one would call him anything other than black if his wife were white, though I suspect his kids might get called "mixed-race" if they were 75% white instead if 25%.
Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key are another good example - both mixed-race or biracial, but if there's anyone out there who doesn't think of them first as "black comedians", they'd be rare. Interestingly, of course, Peele is both one of the best Obama impersonators and the most ethnically appropriate. ;)
I guess I lean towards specifics in my personal usage. Like how my father-in-law isn't just "Asian", generically, but specifically Filipino, or my brother's wife is Singaporean Chinese, not just "Singaporean" or "Chinese", either of which would lack specificity.
It helps that here in Australia we don't really use "X-Australian" very often. I sometimes hear "Asian-Australian" since Asians are the largest ethnic minority here, but even so I think it's rare. No-one calls our growing African immigrant community "African-Australian", or our long-established Indian community "Indian-Australian".
Of course, in the UK "Asian" means "from India, Pakistan, or the general subcontinent", which sounds extremely strange to me.
Totally agree. Being specific is always preferred. But in the United States specifically, that's not always possible. Most black people trace their family back to slavery and there is no way to trace back to a specific region or country in Africa. In this case, black might be as specific as one can get.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For sure. I mean, the good rule is "use whatever the person you're talking to prefers." But I'd be inclined to "black American" above anything else if I didn't know anything more specific about someone.
akaioi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A little off-topic here, but I've always found the phrase "happen to be [ethnicity]" unintentionally hilarious. It's like I woke up one morning and all of a sudden, "Hey, I'm white today! The heck? And where's my latte?"
akaioi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:17:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I betcha that's how the truth came out. Little things over time. She must have left her browser on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com one day. Another day a pumpkin spice latte receipt fell out of her bag. A couple weeks later, perhaps, she was seen fondling cable-knit cardigans at Macy's. Then she showed up at an important meeting wearing Uggs. All these little things added up.
I knew a white guy from South Africa. He was an actual African American. Kinda a dumb term.
gullale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Brazil some people have started using "Afrodescendant" as PC term for black or mixed.
So a while ago, our diplomatic service had a selection that reserved some of the jobs available for "Afrodescendants". A white guy whose family came from Africa declared himself as an Afrodescendant, and rightly so. Can you believe the idiots tried to stop him from taking the job?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To this day, it is still awkward calling somebody just like "Black" or something. Like I don't call them African American either. It's weird for me even though I date almost exclusively Black girls. Don't know how to get over it.
That's the thing I don't know, but then I myself don't really say White, I use Caucasian which I think is not correct either. Come to think of it, idk. I guess I'm all screwed up.
as a second generation "african-american", I can totally get that. Hell, I always argue there's a difference between calling someone a lack american vs african-american.
It's even stupider when they're not from America, either. One of my college buddies is from Jamaica, and he gets really annoyed when people call him African-American.
I took a music history class a few years ago, and we were looking at the art from an important era to get greater context. The painting was of fancy white German people in a fancy German estate. The fancy white Germans were being served by their black slaves, whom my teacher referred to as "African Americans"-- I guess to not seem rude to me and the other two black guys in class?
I feel like it was more rude that she could never keep the three of our names straight even though we never really talked to each other, didn't look anything alike and the class only had like 10 people in it...
A close family friend of mine got really angry when she was called African American because she was Kenyan. She didn't like being called "African" because it wasn't specific enough and she wasn't American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I have always looked at it. If you were born in America, your not African, your American. You might be American with African ancestry, but your American if you were born in America.
pikaras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got into an argument with someone who was against me saying black. I told him I'll call people African American when people call me Caucasian American. Still hasn't happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a teacher who insisted on referring to people as "African American" when in fact they were just blacks living in Africa and having nothing to do with America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. You can be from Africa and immigrated to America, but you are not African American. You are either African or an American. Race doesnt matter.
I wasn't born in Asia, but I look Asian. Can I call myself Asian, or just American?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How did that conversation start with a customer at your cash register? "Hello ma'am. Do you prefer to be called black or African American? Or do you like to go retro with negro? I hope you found everything alright."
This is why I think the term African American is a bit insulting. If they're born in the US, shouldn't they just be called Americans? Should we start calling white people Irish or British Americans? In short, I use the terms black and white.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does this topic of conversation come up at the register?
I know a guy who's trying to get "African-American/Black" on documents (resumes, and govt papers, and all that jazz) changed to "Ddoban." Pronounced "doh-bain". Ddoban is an acronym for "Direct Descendants Of Black African Natives."
As for myself, what the fuck does it matter what "race" you are. All us humans share like 99% of DNA. That 1% is what determines eye color, skin color, eye shape, and all of that. We're all the same, and we're all human, "black/African-American/ddobanian" or "white" or "Asian," or otherwise.
Thank you! I live in the south and if I say that I'm a bigoted racist and need to get my shit together. Wtf!? You have no ties to Africa at all! Your black so what? No difference to me.
The only time I've seen them people take offense is when they're people are referred to as 'a black,' or 'the blacks.' (Same with the word gay.) It's pretty dehumanizing.
Edited to be more inclusive.
Edit again- there's been a couple people, and some non-English speakers especially, asking why this is rude. So I'm going to do my best, but I'm not a scholar, so any problems are my own. Also I'm discussing American English in particular, to be clear. "English" as a term crosses several countries and cultures, I'm only speaking for my own country. I am also white, so I'm speaking from that perspective. So those are my caveats.
There is a long and horrible history of racial politics in America where black men and women were recognized only in the context of their race. And I don't mean in a good adjective way, like the 'first black astronaut' or 'a strong black role model,' I mean in a derogatory noun way like, "The blacks are taking over the neighborhood," or "I wouldn't want my daughter dating a black." Where one small group or one person represented everyone who had something in common with them, simply based on their skin color.
There is an idea in language and social science known as "othering,' the wikipedia article is kind of heavy reading, so I'll try to simplify it- it means talking about people only in the way they are different from you. In this case, the classic example is 'non-whites' vs 'people of color.' One means, "You're not like us, (Us being 'the norm' of whiteness)" the other means, "You're part of your own group.*"
Using terms like 'the blacks' or 'a black' in American English reduces the person you are talking about to one attribute only- their skin color. Sometimes, that attribute isn't a problem- calling someone 'the redhead in the group' isn't a problem. Calling them 'the black in the group' very well might be. It's one of the confusing bits of the English language where even if something seems like they are grammatically equal descriptions of what someone looks like, the baggage that comes with the terms hasn't been resolved yet, or is still used as an insult and it's not always easy to know how the speaker means it. (See; Daughter 'dating a black,' vs daughter 'dating a redhead.' The latter is more likely to be a joke than an ultimatum.)
As for the them/they- I will totally take the ding on that one, which is why I left what I wrote crossed out. /u/endodynepointed out that the way I originally phrased it was using an us/them idea, like I was saying who would and wouldn't be offended and in context, was using the same sort of othering language with pronouns.
Now- for non-American-English native speakers- I can just about speak (but type abysmally) Spanish and German well enough for pleasantries and make small talk, and I can be polite in American Sign Language, so I have very, very little exposure to other languages compared to you if you've read this far, I will fully admit I'm getting into muddy waters. I would be able to maybe get through a children's book. So take these caveats into consideration, and if I get anything wrong, please correct me...
What I've noticed is that in a lot of languages, you can be what I would think of as blunt without actually being what I would think is blunt. The idea of negro y blanca or weiss und schwarz isn't what that person is, it's what they look like, in a very different way than I would use it myself. (Same with ASL, for anyone familiar) It doesn't have the same baggage as an American English speaker would, because the history is very different. I'm not going to say there aren't racist terms, or that people don't use skin color as a shorthand for "a lesser person," but calling someone a black in particular is a polarizing thing here that it isn't there.
*(note- not that all people of color are the same, or have the same skin color/experiences/life, or even agree with that term to describe themselves! But if you're making differentiations, you need inclusive-as-possible language to do it.)
That's because that makes it an improper pronoun (in and of itself kind of insinuating a level of disrespect). Whereas, black, is just an adjective to more accurately describe something.
I can't take too much credit for it, haha. I have several family members who are black (I know, cliche), and I enjoy talking with them about subjects that can seem touchy to speak candidly with strangers about. And that's how it was explained, and I think, makes the most sense.
I was trying to explain to people why it was rude, and while I felt I had to explain for folks who may not get the language, you had it nailed for American folks.
Whoever said that, I want to send them a cheesesteak. Or a pork roll. Or whatever East coast thing they would like, because damn, that was On Fucking Point.
[deleted] ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 18:39:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of like the "a female" that Reddit neckbeards love to use so much.
_Bones ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 19:44:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the air force, I thought it was a military thing. Now that I'm in college, it seems to be a frat boy thing. I am beginning to suspect it's just a douchebag thing.
Vanetia ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:03:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is definitely a military thing, it's to prevent the use of "girl" or any other derogatory terms for women.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But "women" is somehow offensive? Or what? With Females, it's used as a casual derogatory term as it is. Nobody goes around calling the men "males", so referring to women as females only serves to depersonalize them as some sort of "other" because the US Military is afraid of women.
Why is "female" more offensive or different than "woman"? It's a standardized term used to describe somebody that prevents the use of other terms that could be seen as derogatory. It's not about "otherness" it's about needing a term to differentiate groups of people like "I need all the females to fall out" or "that is the female barracks". It's a descriptor, no more, no less.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the Air Force it's "Men" and "Females" unless they're talking in the impersonal sense, such as "I need 3 males from our squadron for dickgazer duty down at the clinic". men and Women are fine terms, "Females" being standard for women is deliberately clinical and impersonal in order to ostracize them since the military has traditionally been a boys only club.
I don't understand your first sentence, how is using men any more personal than female? How is "female" more impersonal than "women"? Specifically, objectively and not just how you feel about it, but how is one or the other different? If a bathroom door has "female" instead of "women" on it, do you expect the interior to be different in some way?
I think you're turning a mountain into a molehill here. The whole military is clinical and impersonal. But I see now why the army uses "male" instead of "men" because apparently people can find offense anywhere.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Men" and "Women" has more of a sort of warmth that "males" and "females". It's not objective, but we're discussing emotional reactions and feelings about stuff here, nothing about it can be objective.
Is it a huge deal, worthy of lawsuits and things? No. But it still makes me think you're kind of a douche (not you specifically, of course.), if you use it to refer to women outside of a medical report or something like that.
I see no listing of the words "lover, boyfriend, or husband". In the definition
So no, it doesn't. You do realize the military didn't pick that word arbitrarily? The very fact that a dictionary has the word "lover" as a synonym of "woman" means it would be easier for people to either use it incorrectly on purpose, or (more likely) get butthurt over its proper use.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've really never heard some redneck on jerry springer or anything screaming for some other woman to "stay away from my man!!!"? I assure you man can be used in every posessive way that woman can.
Technically, that's the wrong usage of the word, if you have to use the grammatical parlance of the ignorant to make an argument it's not a very good one IMO.
Also, who's more likely to file a complaint on how a word is used? The only way to prevent that is to use words that have non-ambiguous meanings. They probably spent millions on studies deciding "female" was the most non-ambiguous and least offensive term.
DialMMM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well then I guess the military should just make up a word for people with vaginas in uniform, (since they have a need, at times, to differentiate between the sexes) because I promise you some of them will take offense to "women" as well.
absump ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 22:47:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if everyone says it?
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:08:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always sounds like they're talking about a different species or something. "Those females over there..."
mivipa ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:03:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because guys are so much smarter than those damn females. They should take our cringeworthy sexual advances as flattery. 10% of them will automatically die alone, anyway.
neiljt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... or "it" when referring to infants.
_Bones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's more a problem with the English language never developing a gender neutral pronoun that doesn't sound vaguely offensive (it) or arbitrary, forced, and made up (any of the tumblr pronouns).
I've actually seen a lot of women on the internet use the phrase "as a female". It sounds unusual, and so I think it might have started out in a disassociating or dehumanizing way like you suggest, but at this point it's been around for so long it's essentially just a benign part of the internet's vocabulary.
As far as using dehumanizing words to use to refer to women goes, "female" is not the internet's biggest problem.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:34:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never see it done outside of Reddit. Sometimes I see women do it on Reddit, too, but I think they have seen guys do it and figured it was normal to do, so they copied it. I cringe everytime I see a woman contribute to this unfortunate phenomenon.
I think most of the guys who do it are doing it for the same reasons as the women who do it. It's not something that they think about and recognize as demeaning to women, then intentionally choose to use. Nor is there evidence suggesting it is something that comes about naturally, as the result of their secret misogynist beliefs. It's probably just a phrase that they unthinkingly mimic, since after all that sort of unthinking repetition is the reason most phrases end up spreading. I don't really see any problem with that.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:53:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The uncritical way of mimicking it is part of the problem.
It's bad if it hurts other people's feelings. But I don't think most women feel that the word female is hateful or misogynist. It's detached and overly clinical, but I'd be surprised if it inspired the same sort of visceral reactions that the n-word gets.
Also, you are a sore sport, lol. Stop downvoting me as though I've done something wrong in having a different opinion than yours. It's very obviously you, because it's occurring just seconds after I comment. I want to have an actual conversation or debate, not an upvote fight.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:21:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay then dude, fine, you use it then and see how women react to it. I really don't give a fuck. No need to badger me endlessly about it. You're not going to 'convince' me that it's somehow okay. But you want to persist, even though you've been told how it's often perceived? Your call, man.
Part of the problem is that it's often coupled with the word men. "Men" do this, "females" do that. It's indicative of a social structure where men are thought of as real people and women are . . . females. Female what? Female humans? Female tigers? Female joint halves? Also it makes you sound like a Ferengi.
I don't think that the word female implies that women aren't people. It's an odd asymmetry, but not all asymmetries are misogynist ones. I agree it's not an ideal choice of language, I'm just arguing that it's not a choice so bad people should be offended by it.
So what do you think it means? Where does it fit into larger systems of sexism in society? Do you take a holistic view of society in which there are complicated systems of interactions that uphold social structures that, at least partially, dictate our experiences and positions?
edit: How do you feel about sounding like a Ferengi?
edit 2: How do you reckon the grammatical fact that man is a noun and female is an adjective?
I don't have any strong opinions on where the phrase came from originally, but I think the reason most people use it today is because they're unthinkingly echoing others on the internet who they've heard use it in the past. Since I don't think the phrase causes any negative consequences, I'm fine with that unthinking usage.
Accusing me of sounding like an alien is rude and hostile, when I've just said that I personally don't use that word choice and find it an awkward one. Once I realized the asymmetry existed, I eliminated it from my speaking habits.
Female is a noun as well as an adjective. Also, I've seen the phrase "as a male" fairly often. I don't think either male or female are stigmatizing word choices. I think there's probably a much stronger association between a speaker using those phrases and having an analytical mindset than an association between using those phrases and thinking women are inferior to men.
I apologize for coming across as rude and hostile. That was unfair of me, especially since you don't use that kind of language.
I disagree that it's a harmless habit. The unthinking repetition of social structures that list men as humans and women as these other things is how we produce inequality in our daily life. While I agree that some people use male as a stand in for the word man on occasion, I would suggest noting the ways in which female is used in comparison to the way male is used.
Even though it is possible to use female as a noun, it does not specify humanity the way that the word man does. I can see that you disagree with me. Maybe others who have not thought about this will take something new from our discussion.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:01:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically that's something black people say.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I highly doubt only black people say that.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nowhere in my comment did I say only. I just pointed out that that's a common black saying
I really don't see the problem. "In the Dutch 1996 football team, there was a problem where the whites would sit at one table and the blacks would sit at another."
Is that a racist thing to say?
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:26:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually the same type of people who talk about 'a black' or 'the blacks' are the type to use that tone anyway.
One caveat- I've heard ESL people use it with no problem, because they think it's like 'a redhead, or 'the blind,' which makes sense to them, but English is more nuanced than that in conversational use.
What about something like "that black guy" or something? I live in a predominantly white town and when I go to the city I say things like this and my friends always give me "that look" like I did something wrong.
Do you mention him for a reason other than him being black? Or if you are going bowling and he makes a perfect game a few lanes over, you'll say "Hey look, that dude just got a perfect game!", they look around, you say "that black guy over there", and they get all offended?
You only do it when you need to identify the subject among others.
If he got a perfect game while bowling, it's likely that everyone noticed. But if you say "that guy!" and someone asks "Who?" then I would say "that black guy!".
That's assuming that he is the only black guy. If everyone else is black, and the subject is white, referring to him as "the white guy" seems fine too.
If the subject is the same ethnicity as everyone else, then shirt color, pants, accessories, etc would be used to describe the subject.
I have had more white people get mad at me for comments where i say black guy/gal.
For example once I was telling some classmates about how the night before when I was assaulted by a black man while working at the hotel I was a night auditor of. Some of the white women in the class said that by identifying him as a black man I was a racist. The funny thing was the 2 black guys who were in the class listening to the story said no I wasn't because I was painting a picture of the scene and it was perfectly fine.
The only time I've seen them take offense is when they're referred to as 'a black,' or 'the blacks.' (Same with the word gay.) It's pretty dehumanizing.
iDuumb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the difference in part of speech that makes it offensive. When you use it as an adjective it makes sense and it's just a defining factor but when you use it as a noun it comes off as heavily offensive and it doesn't sound right. I think it's the underlying implications of using it as a noun in order to almost segregate that group and imply they're almost like a different species.
pikaras ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even then it's less about "black" and more about "a/the _____(s)".
It's what the a/the turns "black" into.
"The black guy over there"
In that sentence the guy is a noun while "black" is an adjective used to describe him.
"The black over there"
Now the "black" is the noun and it's no longer a person, but a color you're talking about. It implies that their color defines who they are, instead of being an attribute they have.
413612 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks a lot for this comment! It was very informative and well-written. It pretty much summarized a lot of things I've thought/understood but have never been able to put into words.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty dehumanizing.
Is it? How on earth are you supposed to know that, other than just memorizing it? Is there any logic to it? Is "a redhead" or "a Swede" also dehumanizing?
It's one of those things where if you grow up speaking a language, you know it. How would you know what palla means unless you learn/memorize it? Or which words are common/neuter?
The idea is that referring to someone by a part of themselves standing in for the whole is rude, especially if that is often used in an insulting fashion or with a connotation of 'lesser than' or 'not the norm.'
It's probably easier to show by example. Let's say I'm telling my friend Ted that a family (who are black) is moving into the house Ted grew up in, but moved away from:
Impolite: The blacks are moving into the old house.
Less impolite, but not great: Blacks are moving into the old house.
Accurate but still weirdly judgemental: Black people are moving into the old house.
Accurate and descriptive: A black family is moving into the old house.
Also accurate but not as descriptive, if the description isn't germane to the conversation: A new family is moving into the old house.
Exactly. In fact the now culturally acceptable form for basically any minority is "<adjective> people". Black people, gay people, trams people, little people, etc.
mslack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are "they" and "them" offensive? The words refer to a group to which the speaker doesn't belong. If you're not black, you can say "they" and "them" when talking about black people.
Because not only black people may take offense. Also all black people may not. In the context of the sentence, it looked like they and them referred to all/only black people.
When I originally wrote it, I meant "people who may take offense." Someone pointed out my wording looked off, especially in the context, so I changed it.
More importantly- people may find it offensive. Yes, I could say them instead of black people, but my grouping wasn't accurate to that idea.
Is English not your first language? (I ask this not as an insult, but because it's a common trip-up in translation, even for very good English speakers. Your use of "the article" makes me think this may be the case.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Putting THE in front of any identifier is not good. The whites. Just no.
An easy way to describe why calling someone "a black," versus "a black man," is considered insulting is that in the prior, black is used as a noun, and the latter, black is used as an adjective. Adjectives are used as descriptives for nouns, so using black as an adjective is not insulting, because you are only describing a characteristic of a more defining "man." On the other hand, using black as a noun effectively illustrates black as being the only defining characteristic of the individual. They aren't a man, just a black.
Hetero is not a full real word, and straight is only ever used as an adjective. "A white" and "the whites" sound basically fine to me, if uncommon.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those also aren't people with a history of oppression either.
absump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, is that the point? "Must not use definite article about a people that has been oppressed", is that the rule?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:25:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to the Irish, or the Italians, or the Puerto Ricans...
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:44:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the past 100 years.. excluding Puerto Ricans. Blacks and gays are still highly discriminated against. There's no doubt that being a straight, white male is the highest held classification in America.. and in many western civilizations. Stop trying to belittle that fact.
He's not trying to "belittle that fact", did you even read his comment? He mentions how straight white males get discriminated as well and you're asking him to stop. He's creating a counter-arguement. Don't go posting things on the internet if you don't want them scrutinized.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:28:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "counter argument" is weak and outdated and somewhat condescending.
Irish and Italian oppression happened over a century ago and lasted some 10 odd years. Puerto Rican-- less than that. That's hardly a counter argument compared to Black Americans, homosexuals, and women who have been beaten, killed, and oppressed for generations because of who they were born.
Don't go posting things on the internet if you don't want them scrutinized.
That's because of something you lack, not something you can't get rid of. Cletus can put in the effort, rise out of the backwoods, and become a successful tech CEO or something and be widely respected. If a black guy, gay man, or a woman does the same thing, they will face road blocks every step because of who they are. Even as a successful CEO, they will still get slammed with slurs if they talk to the wrong people or don't tell everyone how rich they are. A transsexual person will have it even worse, they are basically screwed unless they pretend to be 'normal' first (Caitlyn Jenner) or get really lucky, in which case they'll still be attacked constantly.
Cletus doesn't have that problem, Cletus won't be judged for who he is. The issue isn't what you start with, it's what you can't get rid of and how that's still somehow an issue. Basically the only white group that comes close here are ethnic Jews and Romani, and those are both considered separate races in many books.
No, and I don't know how you got that. I said its an impediment that can be willingly overcome. Those blocked by it can get past it, they always have the choice to get out given enough effort and maybe the right opportunities. You cannot just change your race, gender, or orientation. It will always be there and will always be an impediment to further success. Wealth comes and goes, these things do not.
If all it takes to break out of poverty is willpower and effort, then the impoverished are poor because they're lazy, which means it's their fault. That is the implication of what you're saying, and it's surprising to hear that from someone so ostensibly against oppression. You can't "just change" your socioeconomic class, although you might get very lucky after working yourself to death, but probably not; you can't pull yourself up by your own bootstraps if you can't afford bootstraps.
You're also forgetting that there are cultures and fashions that go along with socioeconomic classes, and those give off signifiers of class by which people discriminate. What comes to mind when you think of "white trash"? How about the way people sneer at poor whites? It's true that given the education and money and healthcare and some way to replace their ingrained behaviors/dialects/etc. with those of the upper crusts, a poor white person could be accepted as a non-poor white person, but then Cletus would have to give up "who he is" to not be "judged for who he is," because if he looks poor, he'll be treated worse. And a poor person doesn't typically have access to those things, since they're poor.
Also, I don't know why you think something has to be unchangeable to count as a basis for privilege/oppression. Socioeconomic class oppression/privilege is like the Ur-axis in class conflict discourse (which largely derives from Marx, who was unsurprisingly most concerned with the oppression of the poor). Poor people are still marginalized and at a great disadvantage in society even though, hypothetically, given the right opportunities and resources--which they largely lack on account of being poor--they might get out of poverty and also manage to present/act/sound (in a word, "pass") like they'd never been there, but, again, probably not.
There doesn't seem like any sound basis to exclude the poor from the ranks of the authentically disenfranchised, and it smacks of good old-fashion just-world classism to do so.
Again, there is no classism to it. I did not say "hard work is all it takes", I said hard work and luck. It is not about how easy it is to bootstrap oneself up from poverty into being a totally respected executive. Its about that even being an option. That is why SO MANY PEOPLE still say racism is prevalent.
The concept of white privilege isn't trying to belittle the poverty issues that every group faces, it's trying to make everyone aware that straight white men are the only group in America that have the option to never be persecuted simply for who they are. It doesn't matter if a black guy ends up as president, it still hits him at every turn. That's the privilege.
That's not the only kind of privilege, and it's ludicrous to deny that the well-off are privileged and the poor are marginalized (socially as well as economically) for such an arbitrary reason as the hypothetical mutability of their socioeconomic status. If you don't think poor people aren't persecuted for being poor, you've never been poor. I'm not denying that straight white men generally have it better than those who aren't straight white men, I'm entreating you to consider class to be a legitimate axis of privilege and marginalization, along with sexual orientation, race, and gender.
I'm aware that wealth comes with its own privilege, but focusing on that has the effect of denying the existence and effects of straight white privilege, which society is in a place to actually do something about.
Classism is a totally different beast that just doesn't factor in, and is going to take hundreds of years and some revolutions to do much about.
focusing on that has the effect of denying the existence and effects of straight white privilege, which society is in a place to actually do something about.
No it doesn't. This isn't a zero-sum game. We don't have to ignore some disadvantageous conditions in order to acknowledge others.
Classism [...] is going to take hundreds of years and some revolutions to do much about.
Agreed, but I think by contrast you're being overly optimistic about racism and sexism, etc.
I'm seeing now that our disagreement is more a matter of emphasis, and not so much of substance. I'm content to leave it at that.
Except what if all cletus wants is to support his family? What if he doesn't desire to be something great just modest? He still will get shit for coming from there, enjoying activities others don't, or his accent.
I don't think you're entirely wrong, but you're both overstating your case a bit, and understating it.
Basically, life isn't fair. It never was, isn't now, and never will be.
There is no combination of political, sociological, or cultural factors possible for human beings to implement (now or in the future), that would create a "fair" completely-even playing field.
Any group of beings sufficiently different from today's Homo Sapiens Sapiens that they were able to create a completely fair and just society, would no longer be human.
There will be no Star Trek future, unless you mean the one from the various Mirror-Mirror episodes, and then, yes, that will probably be what the future looks like... as a best case scenario.
So agonizing over how one group in particular seems from an outsider's perspective to be the least affected by unfairness, as some sort of prelude to trying to fix the world and "make it fair" is a pointless task to appoint yourself to.
TLDR: People will always weaponize whatever the fuck they can their hands on or wrap their mind around in order to get a leg up on you.
The whole SJW (Social Justice Warrior) shtick is just more of the same. Same shit, same game, just different players.
Those groups were oppressed obviously, but they weren't oppressed because they were white. In the same way, plenty of straight people have been and still are oppressed, but no one has ever been oppressed for being straight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when you call us them or you people...my people are not from Africa though. Jamaica is my land even though my last name is Scottish and my great great grandma is 100% Native American. That's just from my black half though.
twlscil ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty dehumanizing.
No, it really isn't... people might take offense, but dehumanizing it isn't.
In my experience, it is other white people getting offended on their behalf.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:47:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could become dated and be deemed offensive in time. I'm surprised the NAACP is still the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and the UNCF is still the United Negro College Fund. I'll stick to the abbreviations if I'm going to mention them.
I do, there was a while saying black was a big no no
s34ttle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends where, but yeah in the 80s/90s... some people still got bent out of shape about that.
Never forget one of my college housemates tried to get on my case when I described a guy across the street as black instead of african american. She said "you aren't supposed to say black, you are supposed to say african american".
I looked at her, and the guy across the street, and back at her, and said "I have no idea if he is american or not. I only know he is black". Meaning... for I'll I knew, he could have been a tourist from France... but he was still black.
thats because you were a child. There was a time saying black was taboo.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's fine as an adjective, as in "Hey do you know that black guy Jamal?", but it can come off as awkward perticularly when used as a noun, as in "Hey do you know that black Jamal?".
African-American is just stupid on so many levels, although it does allow you to say "Hey do you know that African-American Jamal?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only white people take offense to it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen 2 black people get offended and a bunch of white people insist on the term. I am not African in the least bit, so I don't see why its apart of my title.
ironically it's mostly white people who get offended by it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only white people do this, black people really do not mind being called black. Just don't called them colored or negroes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I definitely worked with a girl who tried to get me "fired for being racist" because I said she was black. The situation was that someone (who didn't know what she looked like) needed to find her. People were describing her as tall, wearing a ponytail, kinda light brown eyes... Everything but her race. Finally I just blurted out "she is the only black girl working today." My defense was that all the people trying to describe her with anything BUT the color of her skin are the ones acting like it's something to be ashamed of. "Black" is not a slur. (It turned out they all knew she would react like that and I didn't.)
The only time I've ever seen this is when someone is offended on behalf of black people. My 7th grade teacher was like this and wouldn't even let us write "African American". Instead, she made us refer to them as "A.A."
I think it's mostly offensive if you over emphasize their race as if that's all they are.
Although we had two people named Cat in our friends group and we called them black Cat and white Cat for years and they were fine with it
deong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I vaguely recall it being a bit of a thorny issue when I was a kid (I'm 40-ish now). But today, I don't think anyone has a problem with "black", except as another commenter mentioned, when it's "a black" or "the blacks" or something like that.
Teacher here-- using the word "black" is the worst damn thing a person can do in the public sphere. Apparently every dark-skinned person is african american, even if they aren't
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen so many people get offended at it it's not even funny, unless the person who says black is black. I swear it was a meme at some point, because any time someone said black under any context at all someone would reply "DATS RACIST"
As somebody that grew up in the south, the only people I've ever met that are afraid to say "black" are older people that actually say all sorts of racist shit when they think only other racist people are around. It's some weird misconception they have where they think "black" and "tar baby" are interchangeable, so if you're in company where you shouldn't say one, then you probably shouldn't say the other.
Oprah did when Raven shot her ass down live on her own show, saying she was black, not African American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was to describe someone once, and when I said he's black, some lady got all offended at me for saying someone was "black" even though she wasn't even part of the conversation
That reminds me of that one seth rogan movie where they make a porno and a guy ordering coffee says something along the lines of "Venti coffee, black" and the black guy says something like "that'll be 5.62, white".
I'd love to live where you live. If I'm out with friends and even mention the color "black" in a sentence, I'll get a response like, "excuse me?" or "whoa that's racist" or some stupid shit like that. It either comes from a friend in the group or from a passerby. It's extremely annoying and completely unnecessary. Never have I once showed any signs of being racist or intolerant of blacks. It's not like I'm insinuating there should be some form of social segregation. Fuck those people.
I remember a major shift in "cultural awareness" in the 90s in which the term "black" became racially insensitive. I don't know when it came back around as unoffensive, I believe thats where the major push for "African-American" came from. However as many people point out, not all black people are African nor American, so it doesn't really fit.
Some people. I used the term black to describe a person once, well actually a bunch a times but once in this particular situation, and a black lady got all offended and said it was "african-american" then she proceeded to call me white boy. Like what? Bitch..... I'm only half white
I have a guy who goes to my school and gets offended if he is referred to as black, if you ask him why, he says its "Because he's Jamaican, not black".
I don't think he understands black is a color and not a race.
We also have the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, but it's not okay to call black people "colored." My friends tell me they're black, so that's what I'm going with until I get a new memo on the subject.
Call NAACP is the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, but we certainly aren't going to call them Colored. Anyways, I do agree that Black should be acceptable.
TTHtv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hyper-sensitive white people who feel white guilt and think they are protecting the black community
u38cg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, but we also have the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, so don't rely on that reasoning. That's a holdover from earlier on the euphemism treadmill.
It's only unacceptable to white people who get offended on behalf of black people. I've never met a person of African descent who was actually offended by being called black.
It's acceptable but its annoying how everyone in the media uses African American because its the politically correct option somehow, but I think that will change as people slowly start to realize the over correction that is the rampant political correctness that surrounds us.
two ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If anything, the reverse is true. The term "African American" is being phased out in favor of "Black American" as a racial descriptor. The former term is most likely what will get you into trouble.
Same thing with the term "colored". When I was in college, my grandma was visiting and she used the term "colored people" and my (white) RA later commented that my grandma wasn't politically correct because she said "colored". If it wasn't acceptable to use the term, the NAACP wouldn't be called the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. It would be the NAABP.
Just because an organization that was named back when the term was acceptable hasn't changed their name yet doesn't mean the term is still acceptable. If that was the case, the United Negro College Fund would probably work on changing their name really quick.
I started to dislike when people say African American when I met my Haitian and Jamaican friends. "Not every black person is African and not every African is black."
This is why we need to just realize were all American in this country. My family hasn't been from Italy in a hundred years, how am I "Italian-American" exactly?
Plecboy ยท 4112 points ยท Posted at 18:01:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Sopranos absolutely nailed this issue perfectly during Tony's trip to Italy with Paulie and Chris.
"And you thought the Germans were classless pieces of shit." From the moment they stepped off the plane they were in a foreign country, not the motherland, and it was exemplified every step of the way.
Very true. Also when Paulie asked the prostitute where she was from and it turns out she was from his family's hometown. He was so excited and she was like "Yeah... cool whatev..."
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 20:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the one where the crew is getting worked up about Columbus Day as a sign of ethnic pride and Furio is all like, I dunno why you get worked up about remembering a Genoan, northerners always treat Sicilians like shit
"Leave the fuckin' cheese there! All right? I love fuckin' cheese at my feet! I stick motherfuckin' provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning!"
You lucky bastard, you get to watch them back to back while some of us had to wait years between seasons. Oh and it gets way better after the first season IMO.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but its gonna be over so soon. There are ups and downs to bingewatching for sure.
When you get to number 10 I bet you'll still find new things that are amazing. I did.
zn01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes they did. I was delighted to see that you brought that up- that storyline in the Sopranos is exactly what I thought of when I saw that first comment you made. I always think of the part when Tony (before the trip) excitedly asks Uncle Junior what it's like seeing their "people" over in Italy, and Uncle Junior basically just says that at this point it's been so long that Tony has more in common with Tonto than he does with the Italians.
Wait - why doesn't anybody refer to me as an English-American? I'm going to start insisting upon it. Knits brows, "I'm not white - I'm English American".
This is why we need to just realize were all American in this country.
But that's not true. There are plenty of Canadians hidden among us. Sleeper agents.
Politely... oh so very politely... waiting to strike.
vdubzzz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:59:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asian-American, but was born in the US. I don't consider myself half American and half Asian, but I still think it's important to some to embrace both sides of their ethnicity.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:05:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Power to you, I think you should be proud of your heritage. But I'd argue that you aren't Asian-American... you're an American of Asian decent. And that's just as cool and also more accurate.
vdubzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All semantics really. When I say Asian American, that's what I mean - American born of Asian descent.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yah, but this an instance that I think the semantics matter to the discussion.
With all due respect you probably live the American half much more than the Asian half. For me and most people of European descent, that makes us American, not Irish-American or German-American.
I don't know if it's truly a "double standard" per say but it is self-contradictory semantics. You're an American of Asian descent as much as I am an American of Irish descent. So why isn't everyone just "American" first and foremost?
In the end it's all just speak anyway. I don't think anyone's choice of hyphenation is oppressing anyone but it's an interesting talk nonetheless.
vdubzzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yea you are right about me haha. However there are plenty of 'American born Asians' who identify more with their "Asian" side, spend more time in Asian communities, all pending on their upbringing. But then I guess that's the beauty of America, because they are just as American as both you and me :). Which I guess was your point as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying to forget your heritage and traditions. I'm just saying if you go back further they were from somewhere else before they were from Asia, but eventually they became Asian. The same thing happens here.
Well you are an American of Italian descent. So depending on your upbringing and family you may still retain features and customs that are Italian. But yes I agree, after a while you are just American.
Of course I still retain features and customs that are Italian. The Christmas Eve seafood feast is one of my favorite days of the year. But if I travel to Italy, I am 100% a tourist.
Zwilt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:52:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just call myself European-American when I want to make the point that we're all Americans in this Country if you were born here. But even if you were born somewhere else, I will consider you American if you support the U.S. and live here. We were and still somewhat are called the melting pot for a reason.
We're called the melting pot because we're supposed to melt and all be American. If I'm Italian-American and you're German-American and he's African-American then we haven't melted shit.
Unless you're actually one of those things, like Obama.
Zwilt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:13:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know. It's to prove its stupid to call ourselves only half American. We're our own country too and sometimes we don't recognize that on a small level.
cnwilks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard Edward James Olmos say "salad bowl" instead of melting pot, and I like that a little better. And, speaking as one of the most arguably caucasian people in history. I've always been a little envious of people who had more of a cultural identity. I'm a bit over 1/4 Irish, but otherwise just a mutt. I always wished that I had a grandmother from the old country who made huge pots of some sort of ethnic comfort food all the time.
Just to let you know that is a phrase that has been around for just as long as melting pot. Other phrases that mean the same thing, or have a similar meanings are mosaic, quilt, stir fry, etc. I prefer quilt myself. It's a bunch of little pieces, that are all different, coming together to make something much bigger and better.
Idk i'm on the other side of this. I think there is melting going on there. To me being american is as much being able to walk down the street and see multiple types of people from different backgrounds, as it is anything else that people describe as american. It's looking over at someone who is wildly different from you, accepting that, and maybe taking in a little of their culture. That's where the melting comes from. You are from an Italian/Mexican/ whatever family, but you can take in other traits from other people too. I don't want to walk outside and see everyone behaving the same way, believing in the same things, and looking the same. That sounds boring to me.
Watty13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually think Britain, and mainly London is more of a melting pot than American because of this. Because of the Empire so many different nationalities and ethnic groups are there and at this stage they all define mostly as British. Probably helps that Britain itself is a union of 4 ethnic groups so adding a shit tone more from India, Africa and China didn't see like a big deal
If you were born in this country or have single-citizenship, you're American. If you personally immigrated from another country and have dual-citizenship, then you are blank-American.
love this sentiment. at least two generations on all sides of my family were born here and lived their entire lives here. I am not a "European American."
I think this is a disingenuous argument. "Americans" do not have a single uniform cultural identity. The Mormons in Utah have different cultural traditions then your Irish Catholics in Boston. Thus, placing a blanket label American for everyone in this country is not helpful. In turn, "African-American" refers to specific ethnicity among black skinned people who were born in the US and descended from African slaves. It should obvious that an African-American has a unique cultural identity that is separate from Nigerians or Somalis, and so, I don't see the harm in that label.
An African-American who is moving to Portland, Or may be more interested in a neighborhood that is predominantly AA and not Ethiopian. What are you proposing this guy post on the Portland subreddit, "Hey, I'm an American moving to Portland? Can someone tell me the best American neighboorhoods? BTW, I'm black and my great great grandparents were slaves"
Finally, I am of South Asian descent, and I have a different cultural heritage that is different from yours. Thus, to call both of us American is fine, but it can be more helpful to use more descriptive labels.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is that the term African-American was bastardized from a pure expression of descent to an expression of skin color. Since you're white, nobody will think twice to call you American. But if it's "impolite" to call a person black, but you need something to describe how he looks, African-American is the socially accepted standard.
rogohas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is an amazing respose. I respect you for preferring to be American over Italian. Its your place of birth, your country. I can't stand when Americans call themselves 'Irish' or 'German' or 'Italian'. Its like... You're american you don't live in Ireland or whatever, be proud of that fact, there is no need to associate yourself with another country when yours has its own history and culture different to where your ansestors are from. It might have been a country of immigrants, but you guys are old enough to distinguish yourselves as American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm 1st generation so maybe things are little different for me but I guess one of the best parts about being American is that I can call myself whatever the fuck I like, and if you don't like it, it's not my problem haha! so I use Sri Lankan American sometimes depending on the context. I'm also from Queens so when people say Italian-American, Greek-American, Chinese-American, whatever, it is a source of pride really
As an immigrant it's definitely a little different. People immigrate to different countries all the time. It just only seems to be in America where we become afraid to embrace it.
Ethnicity. It's distinct from race. "African American" is a race, "Italian-American" is related to ethnicity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, you're not Italian American your just of Italian decent. That term should be saved for first generation Italian immigrants only
kyriose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Canada! We're all Canucks up here! No African-Canadians or Italian-Canadians. Only french Canadians, but they're a weird lot so it's better to keep some sort of line.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So true. Especially since whenever you go outside the U.S. you will be called American and laughed at if you claim to be Italian or German or whatever country you're in.
I identify pretty strongly with my roots, as I'm second generation and a lot of my family still lives in Eastern Europe. I identify as American, but I'm a lot of other things, too. It's cool that you've had different experiences, but I don't think it's so far fetched that a lot of us have more complex ethnic identities than just "American".
Yes. I wouldn't consider myself Ecuadorian American if I weren't exactly half and half. Dual citizenship, one parent from each country, completely bilingual from the beginning, I've spent considerable time in both, etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being asked where I'm from bothers me more then it probably should.
My earliest relatives not to be born in the United States were my mother's mother's father. He was born in Germany and immigrated here with his family as a boy. So basically my earliest relatives to have spent any significant time living in another country is my mother's mother's father's parents. Why would I consider myself German?
That's like a person born and raised in Texas insisting he's a New Yorker because his great-great-grandfather lived briefly in New York.
Joevual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh as an European, I've always found it a little weird how Americans would tell me they're Scottish or Spanish or whatever and then they'd name a great-great-grandfather or something. By that logic I could claim like 7 different ethnicities. It's so irritating to hear an American tell me "yeah I'm also Polish" and then have them say that they know jackshit about my country. Just say that some of your ancestors came from there!
Why do some Americans claim cultures they obviously know nothing about or make such a big deal of some ancestor, that immigrated to the US? I never understood it. Someone explain?
Similarly I'm half German on my dad's side and half black on my mom's. My Great grandfather came here in the mid 1800s my black ancestors had to have come here pre 1807 yet for some reason I'm african american not German American.
I don't see why people use white or black, honestly. It's easy to describe, yeah, but so is "dark skinned" and "light skinned." Adding "skinned" to the description makes us seem more of the same thing, which we fucking are in the first place. Bad history shouldn't keep racism alive forever.
Watty13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is so weird in Europe, there is no one over here backing this up. You are not Irish/Italian/Russian etc American. You are just an American.
Black people in Britain are just British is the argument I always use.
Edited for a correction
Watty13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah there is no Black British, maybe on paper but day to day life its just I am British, oh and yes I'm black if you need to know. Its better because at the end of the day if race is the insignificant issue we make it out to be then why would we focus on it so much or bind it with nationality?
I work in a tourist office so I meet a lot of Americans traveling here.
It's always fun to hear them explain that they're "Swedish Americans".
Just because your great grandfather traveled here in the 19th century to find a job doesn't mean YOU are a Swedish American, you're an American and shouldn't feel the need to declare that you're not only an American but instead a Swedish American.
It's not like American and Swedish culture is that far apart. Of course I understand they're connected with their roots, but saying you're a "Swedish American" just sounds stupid to me as a Swede.
They often feel the need to talk about "Swedish cuisine" and tell me how wonderful her grandmothers meatball recipe is.
Be proud of being an American instead! I'm more interested about learning about your culture than my own!
Kelend ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:15:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
10 years ago, the situation was completely reversed. I called my teacher black and got sensitivity training.
Now I'm really careful about using African American cause it was well indoctrinated in me. Unfortunately its swung back towards Black as being the appropriate term, so I seem backwards.
PRMan99 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:40:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing is, the media just went wild with it and never bothered to ask any black people what they thought of it.
My only friend who likes to be called African American is a white guy from South Africa.
Kelend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing is, the media just went wild with it and never bothered to ask any black people what they thought of it.
Um, no. Jesse Jackson pretty much championed the cause in the late 1980s. The push came from the black population, this wasn't something forced on them.
(Disclaimer since its probably necessary, I'm not saying that ALL blacks supported / wanted the change, just that the political push originated from prominent black leaders)
Just use whatever if people act all offended just tell them it wasn't meant that way. If they sill complain that's their own fault. Oh and in my case, I'm not white either so that just adds to the fun.
When I was in college I lived in an international dorm. We were so excited when we found out we'd be getting three students from South Africa. The year before we had protested the imprisonment of Nelson Mandela. We were all looking forward to hearing what they had to say about life under apartheid. I go to pick them up at the airport and here come three white guys carrying tennis rackets.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:06:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So this was during apartheid? In retrospect it was probably highly unlikely they'd be black.
Good. Send me some spinach patties packed with dry ice. I'm in Michigan now and the West Indians on Mackinac Island are too busy making the Grand Hotel function to make me any.
My wife is a teacher and one year taught a book about two friends in Apartheid era South Africa. One was black, the other white. Her students couldn't figure out to how to refer to them. They tried saying "the African-American", but my wife rightfully pointed out that neither child was American. She continue and told them that black and white were indeed the best terms.
For the record, most of African-Americans I know don't take offense at the term "black" if it isn't being used perjoratively. Source: ethnically diverse group of friends from church and elsewhere.
South African here who's living in the states (though not white). It's not I want to be edgy, it's just the most accurate term for African immigrants to the states.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it is not. They are called South African Americans. African Americans are a cultural group formed by a bunch of ex slaves in North America, predominantly ethnically/racially south saharan africa, their race is black. White South Africans are a group of whites who settled in Sub Saharan Africa and who enslaved the people there.
it's just the most accurate term for African immigrants to the states.
As such, African immigrants are to be distinguished from African American people who were involuntarily brought to the United States by means of the historic Atlantic slave trade.
Yeah... not gonna call myself South African American. Never heard that term in my family ever. Just because the term exists doesn't mean it's used in practice.
The Dutch colonists in South Africa enslaved Indonesians, Indians, and folks up the Horn of Africa, not the Bushmen. We don't call those slaves "Indonesian/Indian/etc South Africans", now do we? They are just known as South Africans, because they were born there.
Plus, should I call my friend Mozambican-American instead too? How about Kenyan-Americans? That's kinda silly mate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is not as silly as deciding you are a totally different group.
We don't call those slaves "Indonesian/Indian/etc South Africans", now do we? They are just known as South Africans, because they were born there.
Yes, you figured it out there. Is this an English comprehension thing?
The thing is, legally I mark myself as African-American. Why? Because I chose to do so. And I chose to classify myself as so. And unlike South Africa (where they still do have some race classifications), in the USA, race is something you can choose on every piece of paper.
They even give you little check mark boxes to declare your ethnicity! You can put whatever shit you want on there, because they have absolutely no right to tell you your ethnicity.
Say person X looks white, but they have descended from those specific slave groups you mentioned. Who is to tell them they are Anglo-American or African-American? Who is the true judge?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are the true judge. And you have admitted you understand the difference but choose to ignore it to be edgy.
I have never in my life seen a checkmark box that says "South African American".
You can read up on the standards here, but here's the quick relevant quote:
Hispanic/Latino
(This category includes individuals of any race who identify as Hispanic or Latino)
American Indian or Alaska Native
(This category includes only persons who reported American Indian or Alaska Native as their sole race and did not report Hispanic/Latino ethnicity.)
Asian
(This category includes only persons who reported Asian as their sole race and did not report Hispanic/Latino ethnicity.)
Black or African American
(This category includes only persons who reported Black or African American as their sole race and did not report Hispanic/Latino ethnicity.)
Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander
(This category includes only persons who reported Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander as their sole race and did not report Hispanic/Latino ethnicity.)
White
(This category includes only persons who reported White as their sole race and did not report Hispanic/Latino ethnicity.)
Two or more races
(This category includes any combination of two or more races and not Hispanic/Latino ethnicity.)
I'm not arguing if there's a difference, I'm arguing that the term African-American is wrong, and ignores immigrants.
choose to ignore it to be edgy.
Resorting to ad hominem is pretty low. I'm done here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should stop intentionally misrepresenting yourself you little shit.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically they are African American.
They live in the Americans, hence "American". And black people in Haiti are just as much from Africa as black people in USA. They had slaves on Haiti and Jamaica to.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically you are wrong. A West Indian American is their group. It is about culture.
Much more likely you just don't know anything about black people. A west indian slave descendant has far more in common with a typical black american than Obama does. He is about as far from the "group of people" you mention as an african can get, and he is considered african american.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure I'm not, I would entertain any argument you might have though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obama has covered that. It had been an issue years before he ran for president. It has been covered. But I will bite. Why do you disagree with his views?
He says he's AA, blacks say he's AA, whites say he's AA, everyone agrees.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suggest you find an interview with Obama where he explains the faults in your views on race. His self identifying as African American instead of Multicultural was a big one among the African American communities he started his career in. You should not be spewing blatantly false information to race bait people.
This is big in Canada too, where a lot of their black people are actually from Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica, Haiti/Domincian Republic or other non-African countries.
Imapie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:35:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't they descendants of displaced Africans due to the slave trade? So they are as African or not-African as "African Americans".
I remember here in the UK for a while people used the term "Afro-Caribbean". In hindsight, that's a stupid term. Why not just say "Caribbean". I guess it was so that one racist could make sure that the racist he was talking to knew he meant "black guy" without being overtly racist.
Jefferson Twilight: Yes, I only hunt blaculas.
Guild Candidate: Oh, so you only hunt African-American vampires?
Jefferson Twilight: No, sometimes I hunt British vampires. They don't have "African Americans" in England!
Guild Candidate: Oh yeah, huh, good point.
Jefferson Twilight: So I hunt blaculas.
Guild Candidate: I was just trying to be...
Jefferson Twilight: Man, I specialize in hunting black vampires, I don't know what the P.C. name for that is!
Haitians and Jamaicans are descended from African slaves though.
Even if a black man's family has been here since the 1700s, we still call him African American. Why does this term not also apply to those African-descended people whose families lived on Atlantic islands for a few years?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with someone who immigrated to the States from western Africa. When someone else described her as African-American, she laughed and corrected them: she was African, not African-American.
My GF is black, but has never referred to herself as African American. I always assumed that "African American" just means that you're trying to be overly PC.
My uncle is from kenya. He was originally from the european colonies, and when he married my aunt he came to america. Therefore, my white uncle is african american, as are his 3 kids.
One of my Dad's coworkers like's pissing people off with stuff like this. He's a white South African, accent and all. Purposely fills out African American on forms and waits for the shitshow.
Zencyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty much why I'm going to say "black" no matter what. As far as arbitrary racial classifications are concerned, I don't think we need to give the concept more respect by dividing people further. Conceptually, we should be trying to unify everyone into a single race instead of trying to divide everyone by either their skin color or their ancestral origins.
The best thing is if American people call black people living in Europe "African American". Some people really are that stupid.
ac161 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my professors referred to me as "african-canadian" and the way he said it you could tell he was proud of his "political correctness" but honestly, when someone tries so hard in terms of what to call me it just tells me they're focusing on my race way more than they should. We weren't discussing race in class and for other people who use it in casual conversation there's no need to bring up my race. If race is part of the conversation I feel weird being called anything but "black" or "mixed"
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every black person has anything to do with America either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black is the best way to describe black people. It's not racist anymore it's true. I almost feel like African American is a more racist term than black nowdays.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, I don't have time to always say "af-fri-can am-eri-can" "black"... it saves time.
effedup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. My sisters father is Haitian and she's always been annoyed by the "African American" label. It made me realize from a young age not to assume a persons heritage.
RhettS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't Jamaican blacks and Haitian blacks and whatnot descendants of African slaves?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus I was talking about a friend from the Bahamas I met at school to some of my buddies and they were like "oh so he's African American then?"
"No he's black. He's neither African nor American."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White South African here, "African-American" is annoying as hell.
The idea is that if you can call an Asian person who immigrated from France an "Asian American," you can do the same thing for people of native African descent that came from the Caribbean.
To be fair black people from those countries were also descendants of slaves taken from Africa. I still think AA is a stupid term, but for different reasons.
I think they should just be called Americans same as whites, unless we're going to start labeling whites as Irish/German/a little English-American as well, which will get ridiculous. Scholarships and other aid should be based on income and other factors such as neighborhood you grew up in.
I started to hate it when I meet multiple South Africans who moved to the US and had their American citizenship but where white. If they couldn't use the term African-American then fucking nobody can.
utunga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No but every black person regardless of what continent they or their parents come from is ultimately descended from Africa... Because everybody is descended from Africa. Boom.
I've met two honest-ta-god 'born in Africa' African Americans (although I'm actually not sure if one of 'em was American). Both were white.
I also recall when my dad and I were watching one of the World Cup games last year and he made a remark about an "African American player's skill", and I responded with a " ...he's black". I get a look in return, to which I respond "He's playing for France! He's French!"
I went to high school with a kid from south africa who was whiter than I am, I always referred to him as my african-american friend. He had a green card and everything.
Ah, I remember having a friend from South Africa. White as can be. He would always put African American down, and would piss off quite a lot of black people, and he would challenge them on them being african american lol
wait,what?
every black person IS of African descent.
no matter if they're from Jamaica or Haiti..what are you talking about?
do you not know where black people come from?
Actually every black person is african, though they may not be from Africa themselves.
TiSpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always like to think how confusing it must be for everyone involved if a US citizen travels overseas (England, Australia, etc), and refers to black people over there as "African American".
I'm sure black people over there are used to it by now, and maybe even use it as a litmus test, to determine a persons social IQ.
I was in England with some friends a couple of years ago. One of our tour guides was black. One of my friends insisted on calling him an African-American when we were talking later that night. I still don't know what she was thinking.
[deleted] ยท 685 points ยท Posted at 18:19:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You listen to me African-American, I know what you like to be called because I am a very non-racist white American.
Jerlko ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:54:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Regular American"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mix of attemping at being PC by taking the emphasis off skin color and America's obsession with heritage/culture defining identity. German-american, irish-America ect are commonly used but since decendents of American slaves can't know which country their ancestors are from, African American is a catch all. People never really think about it and end up referring to all blacks as African American regardless of actual origins
Edit: spells
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it makes a little more sense now, thanks for the explanation. I still think it's pointless though.
Mred12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:20:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black" is generally acceptable. If you're being formal use "Afro-Caribbean" but that's used very rarely.
I honestly don't believe you or any of the other people who claim to hear people say this. Nobody is that stupid. You all just think its funny to mock a perfectly fine term.
I was so confused when I went to Paris and saw a lot of shops that had "Afro-Americanique" on their signs (they usually sold weaves and hair products marketed towards/made for black people). I pointed it out to my tour guide, and she had honestly never thought about it before.
Maybe the weave was popularized by african-americans? As in, non-american blacks are more ok with the traditiaonal afro, so the straighteners and weaves are considered to be the black american style ->"African American".
Great viewpoint! I was a dumb 15 y/o eating codeine cough pills like candy when I was there so I never thought of it that way! Plus I'm white. So I know pretty much nothing about natural African American hairstyles vs relaxed hair and weaves.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend is a moron. I know black people here that would punch her for that. They'd think you're taking the piss.
Super late reply, but I remember seeing an interview from the Olympics or something, and the reporter was talking to a British runner who won the event and she kept saying "As an African-American how important is this win?" and other things, and he kept telling her he was neither African nor American, he was British.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of us are taught to never say "black" to refer to a person's race. EVER. Amongst the people I grew up with, that was considered racist, and if for some reason you needed to mention their race, you had to say African American.
Yea I have some black friends from Europe, I love to call them African Americans! As they have never been to Africa and aren't Americans, i find it hilarious.
Is that where the race originated? I never put 2 and 2 toghther, huh.
TenNeon ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:22:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A person who founded the field of anthropology considered the people of this area to be most representative of one of the races of the world. I don't think it was ever meant to describe an origin.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:06:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. That theory is made up 19th Century bullshit.
Indo-Europeans probably originated in what is southwestern Russia or eastern Ukraine. That includes Iranians and northern Indians as well as Europeans.
It borders the Caucasus but it's a bit further north.
mdkss12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's fine, I'm just pointing out that if that guy wants to say the origin is southwest Russia (without more elaboration), he shouldn't bitch when someone says that's right next to the caucusus
flukus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The proto indo-European (PIE) language, of which almost all European and Indian languages can be traced back to, seems to have originated around there somewhere.
oh wow. Does that mean I'm not caucasian even though Im white since my family is from Ireland Germany and England?
TenNeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no- the original meaning of the word referred to the place, and I suspect it still can in the right context, but it was given a different meaning a couple hundred years ago to refer to a larger group of people.
It doesn't really make any sense for white people to be referred to as Caucasian exclusively. I'm white, but my ancestry is Western European, not Eastern.
Lumion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
K-Mark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means to come from the Caucasus Mountains, which are located in the Middle East. Most "Caucasian" aren't actually from the middle, but rather Northern Europe.
I mean, there's the Caucasus Mountains and the Caucasus, a place at the border between Europe and Asia and between the Caspian Sea and Black Sea. That's probably where the word Caucasian originates, but I don't think I'm from that area. Not sure why Caucasian became a term for white people.
hboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, I know this! The Caucasus is in south-west Russia, and that's where the word Caucasian comes from. Don't know why it's got to do with being "white" though.
Caucuses. Caucasians are originally from the Caucus region of Russia. Which apparently now has turned into a region of great political instability and is now home to a large radical Islamic population. Originally whites who were considered Caucasians came from this part of Russia.
According to the first line of the wiki page, it's either The Caucasus or Caucasia so if you're going to be pedantic, you should try at least being correct.
Depends on city, I guess. Within the GTA, East Asians have taken over the Eastern areas (Richmon Hill, Markham, Scarborough, etc.), South Asians have claimed most Western Areas (Brampton, Mississauga, Milton, etc.)
Actually yes they are, that is the definition of black.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No its not you idiot. Does anywhere in the Caribbean just not exist now?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:11:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's cousin's dad is from Africa but is white. He applied for an African American scholarship and said he was African American on his application because he was.
When they saw him in person they denied him the scholarship because although he was African, he wasn't black.
He's not a lawsuit type of person and could easily afford college, he just wanted to see if they'd give it to him.
Yeah because white people in South Africa are descendants of Europeans. Black people get scholarships because lots of people treat them differently because of their skin tone. The government even defines African American as a person having origins in any of the black racial groups of Africa.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, incredible.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so tired of this urban legend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This little story is posted every time this topic comes up. I'm a white African, too, and everyone I know tells me the same story, usually a friend of a friend of a friend.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird, it actually happened to him but maybe it just happens a lot. I've never heard of anyone else doing it before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Algerian here, can confirm. If I had a dollar for every tim I've been told "but you're white how can you be Africa?" .. I'd probably have enough for a movie and some popcorn.
Akanke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:38:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very little Africans are black.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you mean like midgets?
TenNeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They prefer to be called 'pygmys'.
Akanke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
English is not my traditional language.
I meant very few Africans are black.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no worries my friend. just having fun with you. :)
Akanke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's good.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this big "that's racist!" kerfuffle on LJ where someone was talking about someone who was black and French and they said the person was African American French haha
SilasX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, US Foreign policy.
If we didn't have the whole Iraq thing, Jamaicans would be falling over each other to say they're "American in spirit, mon!"
Well, not really. But they wouldn't feel dirty about doing that.
kway00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To my knowledge, "black" is actually the preferred term for a lot of people. A lot of so-called "African-Americans" have no connection to America, nor do they consider themselves "African" since their families are often-times quite a few generations removed from the continent.
I suppose it depends on who you ask, though, and where you are. I was talking to some South African girls about how, when they moved abroad, they were told off for using the term "coloured." In South Africa though, they said it means someone who's not "black" as in of African descent, but rather someone of Indonesian/Malaysian decent, and is a socially-acceptable term.
Oh yes, I have friends who are South African Coloured / Cape Coloured and to call them anything else would be to insult and erase a heritage they are proud of.
Or even just using a person's race to describe them. "Hey I need a signature from a guy named Bob, do you know where I can find him?" "Oh he's the black guy that works in IT." "Racist." But he is the only black guy in IT and his race is a fact that would help you find him....
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can always argue that if the label/identifying word doesn't bring down or elevate a race from other races, it isn't racist. Just how calling an old person old isn't ageist and how calling a man a man isn't sexist. In each case, they may not appreciate it, but it's very neutral.
I think the wariness about describing him as black also stems from the fact it might be a lot less often that you say "the white guy," and instead just say "the guy with the goatee." Obviously not a problem when there's a majority black workforce but can see the discomfort potential that one race might feel more "normalized," like white people are like Kleenex is for tissues or something.
Personally I think it implies that to outright say someone is black would be insulting, like it's something to be ashamed of. See also: any sentence that begins or ends with "for a black guy".
I definitely think that is part of it. The other part being that when asked to describe someone having nothing to offer but "He's black" feels offensive to say rather than "Tall, balding with glasses" or whatever
I'm not saying this is true for people who do this as this is only what I assume they think, but to me the logic only makes sense if they themselves have certain negative associations with a particular race. So they are tolerating a certain race and they think pointing out a race is wrong because of their own stereotypes. It's like have pointing out race on the same level as pointing out that someone is bald or overweight. It would only be inappropriate to use it the way I did if they thought it was bad. Does that make sense?
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst are newscasters who won't mention race when discussing a wanted person story likely for fear of being politically incorrect. Um, after their sex their #1 identifier would be race! We recently had two Indians (Native Americans who only refer to themselves as Indians here) rob a gas station (native owned and called Smoking Joes of all things) on the Reservation and not once when they were being searched for did their race ever come up in any of the newscasts. It happened on a Reservation for crying out loud!
Yea, stuff like that is excessive. Especially if there is no picture to show of the person they are looking for. How else are people going to know what to look for?
Well, I could argue for the opposite opinion too. If they're searching for someone, it makes sense. But if the newscaster says "An African American man was arrested for car theft today..." Why mention their race?
I was specifically referring to a search situation which is why it's so messed up. Police are looking for 2 male suspects in connection with an armed robber. LeShon X and Tyron B.... It happened enough in recent years that I took notice.
absump ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why mention their race?
That's a valid question. Maybe it's of casual interest, just like age and sex.
Sometimes I hear people use terms like "dark skinned" in this context. I think that's retarded, because then I don't know if they mean dark skin like full blooded African or dark skin like well tanned European. So I just go with black, white, native american, latino, etc.
Sometimes white people make a little mildly shocked face but so far haven't gotten shit for it, and I shouldn't because calling someone black is not an insult.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White and black are okay. Yellow and red are not. Asian and Native American, respectively. Why? Because black people aren't necessarily African. They could be Jamaican. (Although if you went back far enough they probably did originate in Africa relatively recently, but the culture has diverged enough.)
And of course there's the name for the indigenous peoples of America. Native American or American Indian are the two safe ones, typically.
I work as a police dispatcher and its funny the level that white people will go to describe a black person without saying the word black for fear of sounding racist. Even when I say is the person black or white some will say, "well he's not white".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my imagination kicked in and can see you in HR's office
This is my favorite thing. I had a job basically as a greeter, and it was my job to get customers into an office with sales people. Usually they had a relationship with one of the sales people but couldn't remember names. Only one of the sales people was black, and watching white people do the mental gymnastics to not say "the black guy" even to me, fellow whitie, was great. It made me much more aware of how sensitive people are to being assumed racist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being more accurate would be even more offensive. He's brown. But that just sounds bad.
Then again, we don't call pink dudes pink, so there goes that, too. It's all just weird.
On one of the forms at work, there are two separate spaces for race designation, one being hispanic/nonhispanic, and the other being white, black, etc.
Which means that according to the form, being hispanic is not different from being white.
I think the reason people negatively react to your situation is because rarely do people (usually whites) use racial descriptors when talking about other whites, but they have no problem when talking about blacks.
"Oh he's the white guy that works in IT."
If the guy was white would you have added that adjective? another possibility especially common on reddit is that, people like to overemphasis the one time someone negatively reacts to their comments, but ignore the other million times nobody does. Your experience seems to be one of those cases.
I would add white if he was the only white guy. I use whatever characteristic is the most distinct. If they were asking about someone else in IT that was white and the only guy with red hair, I'd say he's the red-haired guy in IT. If there's multiple races I use race and something else. And you're right, in most cases no one seems to care. But my point is that, in my experience, I have only been accused of being racist when saying a person's race by white people when identifying non white people.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:45:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My situation is not the same (I'm white) but is analagous. I'm the only woman employed by my department. I have no real issue with people identifying me as "the woman who works in [X]".
But I WOULD have a problem if people saw that as my only identifier, or confused me with other female employees of the company because we're few in number, or didn't bother to learn my name because it's just as easy to find "the woman who works in [x]", for example.
And to use an example that isn't an analogy, one of my neighbors posted on a social media board following several robberies that he'd seen "a suspicious male and female in the neighborhood" and literally the only identifying details he provided in the follow-up is they were "young and black". I hope it's no great stretch to realize why that's racist. Watching him try (and fail) to defend it was hilarious though.
PRMan99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I were in Africa or Japan and there was only one white guy? Heck yeah I'd say it.
Black people are a minority in america (assuming tallhokiegirl is from usa), and so it is farrr more likely that using that as an identifier actually helps. It's like pointing to the white guy on the basketball team. You can say that assuming a white guy is the minority on a basketball team is also racist, or you can suck it and watch basketball. I have dark nipples so I don't exactly consider myself "white", I'm obviously not entirely white. But am I black? No. I think I've got some north African in me. I'm kinda right at "brown", maybe a little lighter than medium brown. After the summer, though, I'm darker than a lottt of the light-skinned black people I know. So who's really "black"?
Torvaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there were two IT guys, one was white, one was black, you damn well better believe I'd say "the white guy" or "the black guy" as identifiers. As it is, there's the old guy, the bald guy, and the woman. If I feel the person I'm talking to might be offended, maybe I'll go with "the older gentleman" or "the young lady," but I've got three people who can be immediately differentiated via a few words. It works, therefore, that's how I do it.
kanst ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:04:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In college I had some projects and became friends with some of the few black kids in my engineering program. They were all carribean and hated the term African American. They identified as Haitain, or Jamaican or whatever place they came from not Africa.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:59:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my black friends has very strong feelings on this one. He usually says something along the lines of "I've never been to Africa, my parents have never been, my grandparents have never been. I'm black and I'm American."
Strawman. African refers to ancestry, not where they're from.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll let him know
hoagiej ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not socially acceptable at all. Most of the black people I interact with on a daily basis, which for the last 4 years has literally been dozens-hundreds, self-identify as black.
Given the population (mainly white) that dominates reddit. they probably rarely (generalization) interact with a lot of blacks.
So when they tend to overemphasis the one time a person negatively reacts to their statement, then promptly come to reddit and whine. Which tends to go well with the believe that blacks are a unified group and are not as diverse as whites are in beliefs, cultures etc.
Honestly, I don't understand why its so racist to say "brown". Obviously I don't go around calling Black people brown, I just don't understand why they take so much offence to it. I couldn't care if anybody called me pink.. dunno, shower thoughts.
Right. I knew an "African American" whose family was from South Africa and whose heritage consisted of Boers. He was white.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a news story where an organization gave a kid a scholarship for African Americans. They subsequently found out he was white and took the scholarship away from him despite the fact that he was from South Africa and legitimately African American.
jawa299 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd consider that to be bad practice because the first thing that comes to any native English speakers mind on hearing the word "American" is someone from USA.
Kelend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from the US, and generally if I say "American" I am referring to a citizen of the United States.
During my four years of Spanish I was told by every professor (Venezuelan, Argentinian, Spanish, Mexican) that American / Americano refers to anyone from North or South America.
There is a problem with when saying a black etc. African American was designed to be a replacement for negroes. It is just that reddit tends to over react or will somehow find that one random dumbass who gets mad about it then come here and bitch about how a lot blacks get angry at being called black.
absump ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a problem with when saying a black
What about "a white"? If one is wrong, I suppose the other one is too, but I can't see why that would be.
I actually love doing the reverse where its unncessary. Like at my work place we bake black cherry pies, but I call them African American cherry pies
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:10 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate whenever we have a black speaker come in for a diversity training. Not because I hate the black speaker, but someone ALWAYS asks, "do you prefer being called black or African American?"
I got in trouble one year at RA training for blurring out, "how about you just call them by their fucking name?"
I had this discussion with some friends. They think it's less harsh to say African American if the black person is American. I think that's ridiculous. No one has any issue calling Caucasians white. And they're not African unless they're a few hundred years old.
kecos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And white people aren't necessarily of caucasian descent.
You're right. Although my point is that no one has any issue calling white people white, so why is there an issue with calling black people black?
kecos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I was adding on to your argument. I completely agree, most branches of my family tree have been in the United States for 200+ years and I'm considered white, black people whose families have been here that long should be black too.
There are white Africans (and other non-black folks) and black people from all sorts of places that aren't Africa. I think its kinda ignorant and a sort of indirect insult to those people to lump everyone with a certain skin tone into "African American". A white South African dude I knew literally had dual so citizenship in the U.S. And SA, but god forbid he tried to get a scholarship for African Americans.
I don't say it simply because not all black people are African or American. And if people actually have a problem with it, they're probably not the people I want to hang out with.
Within American Black families, it's a generational thing. Civil Rights era grandparents prefer African American. Younger people tend to use Black. Best approach is to find out what others who actually are that thing prefer and just be considerate.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:09:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I'm white, don't call me Caucasian. That's dumb. You're black, I'm not going to call you African American.
You can be black and still be Caucasian. In fact, you can be african american and still be Caucasian.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to explain it to people this way. Everyone calls me white. No one in my entire life has ever called me European American. My ancestors are from Europe, but I was born in America. So why would we call a black person African American. They're ancestors might are from Africa, but they were born in America.
In my personal opinion its actually offensive and sounds like discrimination to call black people African American while white people are just American. To me it seems like its saying white people are true American while black people are only part American.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To me it seems like its saying white people are true American while black people are only part American.
But, surely, when people say "American", they mean Americans of all colors, don't they?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call black people 'blacks' and no one gives a shit round here, nor do I mean it to be offensive
KOM ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:07:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to think about this. I would say, "That black guy" if pointing someone out that I didn't know, for example. But I wouldn't say "As a demographic blacks vote democrat." I would probably say "Black people". I don't know, it seems like semantic hair-splitting, and I'm not sure what makes me uncomfortable with the former.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get what you mean. To me it's like saying "A Chinese" instead of "a Chinese man". I think it just sounds offensive because black (or Chinese, or whatever) is an adjective, not a noun. It definitely reduces someone to their race in a way just tacking "person" onto the end doesn't. It's kind of like how it's not ok to call women "females", but saying "a female doctor" is ok. Or how you're not allowed to say "a retard" or "an autist" but it's ok to say "an autistic person" or "a retarded person" (although I was recently told you're supposed to say "a person with autism" and "a person with intellectual disabilities" in those two cases).
Probably because it comes across as dehumanizing. "The blacks", "The gays", "The Transgenders" Wording like that leaves off the human element and seems rude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the slur for Jew is Jew depending on inflection. Louis C. K. did a bit on that but I can't find it.
It simple, given the population (mainly white) that dominates reddit. they probably rarely (generalization) interact with a lot of blacks. So when they tend to overemphasis the one time a person negatively reacts to their statement, then promptly come to reddit and whine.
So you got a bunch of people sharing extremely uncommon situations, which becomes part of reddit's mindshare that blacks react negatively to being called black.
Whenever you read someone bring this thing up, you can find 3 to 5 people who somehow have friends from South Africa that are white and how they are technically African american.
Someone in "Dear Black People" comments that saying "African American" is just a white-liberal-guilt way of attempting to prove that you are not racist, which is racist. Funny comment, but it released me from feeling like I had to say "African American."
I use black because of the whole not all black people are American but also African American qualifies someone as a different type of American and sets the default American as white. I am no SJW but I think it is a little humiliating and keeps a barrier up between who is and isn't a real/true American.
I have gotten dirty looks for doing that before. I've been out of the country before so I run into a lot of black people that aren't American (mostly in the Carribean) and I know people from South Africa that are white.
I pretty much only say "black," since I don't know where people are from just by looking at them (also "African American" sounds stupid to me for people who are not first generation African immigrants in the US). No one has ever had an issue with it.
Let me guess some imaginary black person got mad at you for calling them African America?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a Uni with a African American fraternity. I friended with a couple and wondered why "African American" existed and not "Nigerian" or others based on origination. They explained it as it was a respectful measure. I never understood why there must be separation.
The reason you never see Nigerian American is because finding Nigerians was extremely uncommon. I mean they are only like 280k Nigerians in the U.S that number is so small.
But people in that group (nigerians) if they wanted to could be referred to as as such. But a lot of blacks do no care if you call them blacks, you might the get occasional person who gets mad about it, but there is no black convention to decide these things (that was a joke).
Do people get offended when you call someone black? Because I was raised to use the term "African American" because it was more respectful. I also grew up in a teeny town where 99% of the population was white. My boyfriend and I were having this conversation and now I dont know what to say. I am 2 million% not racist so what is the appropriate term to use?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imo: black unless you know their origination. If they are Haitian, you call them that. If they don't know, and they live in America i would guess they are Americans.
I haven't said African American in years. I always say black. Never had any hint of a problem. The three black people at my work all ended up becoming great friends of mine
I had a friend in college who was from Algeria and moved to the U.S. when she was young. She is one of the whitest people I've ever seen and nobody ever refers to her as African American even though she actually is, and she was denied an "African American" scholarship because she wasn't black.
I agree! For a lot of black people their heritage is more American than the people calling them African American. We don't call White people European Americans. And describing someone by their skin color isn't racist unless you make it racist with a negative connotation.
I actually dont like african american. I think if you live in this country you should simply be American but nope gotta make sure people know ur african american so they can judge you before knowing you.
G-0ff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African American isn't cool either. We've come full circle and now the only acceptable term is "people of color"
What always gives me Forrest Whitaker eye is when a black person calls another black person African American. Like easy buddy, don't offend me. I'm white, but let's be politically correct here, ok?
This of course depends on where your from. Most area's in Canada its ok to say "black". In my area especially it's preferred. Most of the black people here that aren't new to the country are from Caribbean families, and I've been told the Caribbean nation and African nation don't really get along all that well.
Raven Symone talked about it when she was on Oprah that got her some flak.
She said that doesn't consider herself African American because she has no family in Africa and no ties to it, she considers herself American and black.
The equivalent is calling every person of non-native American descent European American.
The term African-American is far more offensive than black. Not all blacks are African and vice versa, but more importantly blacks have been in USA for as long, and in many cases longer than European ethnicities that you would never refer to as "European-American" (e.g. Irish). The audacity to assume that descendents from Africa 300+ years, 15+ generations ago identify so strongly with the quasi-ancient heritage that they are African first and American second is similar to thinking blacks are not real Americans and only deserve 3/5 of a vote.
tldr: Unless you identify as European American, and also label white South African and Australian immigrants as such, you are actuality being ignorant by calling all blacks African American.
I've never met anyone who would rather be called African-American than black. African American is like a fake socially required thing, actual black people don't care if you say black.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but that doesn't mean people are truly offended when you don't use it. The only people I've heard correct people when they say black are white people. People think it's some kind of politically correct thing they have to say, but no one really cares.
Is "African Black'murican" offensive? How about "Blafrimerican"?
Since all adjectives pertaining to certain individuals inevitably become offensive, I'd just like to get a lil ahead of the curve. I'm leaning toward "Blafrimerican".
I changed when I had a friend whose parents were a white american lady and an central american latino dude, they were resident aliens of south africa at the time of my friend's birth. so, she had american and south african citizenship
This isn't socially unacceptable. There are some black Americans who don't like being called African American because they feel they have no ties to Africa.
MrXian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying 'African American' when talking about someone not from America is terrible.
azdac7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only in America, people in the UK seem pretty relaxed about it for the most part.
Guy I worked with was the same way. He said "I've never been to Africa, neither have my parents. I'm American. I'm the only black person who works in this department so when somebody asks who I am, it's a lot easier to say I'm the black guy. It the most obvious way to identify me"
Other than that he was a giant pain in the ass who I had to keep putting on action plans.
wufoo2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone remember it was Jesse Jackson who started this sometime in the late 80s? He said in a TV interview that "black" was no longer permissible and substituted "African American." Then the next weekend he gave a speech using "black" like 43 times. Ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One day, streets will be named after him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK, people who are over 30 won't say black, they think it's inappropriate because it's so blunt. No matter how many times I correct them and explain it to them, my parents still say coloured.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is fine in the UK as nobody is American, white or otherwise.
I get mad at this too. It's a fucking bra strap, it's not like I'm going to have to whip my cock out and fire two gallons of semen because I see a fucking bra strap.
Same, and I've been to places where there are a lot of people from around the world in one place and it is still suuuuper common.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:09:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was definitely like this when I was in middle/high school. I like how nowadays though a lot of shirts for girls are made so you don't even have to wear a bra or you have to wear a fancy one and the cool fancy brastraps are showing! :D
GRCA ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:19:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been a bit judgmental of glaringly obvious bra exposure (e.g. a thin racerback tank top over a regular dark colored bra), not because I think bras are shameful, but because it often looks like a lack of effort/planning to me. It's on par with wearing PJs or slippers in public. It just looks lazy.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:34:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I think it also greatly has to do with fashion. I remember when wearing colored bras under white shirts were "cool" for girls. At least in my area. Now wearing cool bras with sheer shirts so you can see through are fashionable. Or strappy bras like these (NSFW) that are meant to be seen. Idk you'd be surprised what's fashion now hahaha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right! It's just the right combination of sexy and cute. I have one myself and it makes me feel awesome haha
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I get that those sort of tops and bras are in fashion now, and while I don't love them I also don't consider them to be the same thing as just wearing a tank top over a regular T-shirt bra. The former is an intentional look; the latter is usually just not bothering to find a bra that is compatible with the shirt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose it is laziness in that regard. But I think that's how the style trend came about. Just finally a bra that you can wear under nearly anything and it wouldn't look as tacky to other people. Bras a such a hassle sometimes, from the price to finding something to wear with it.. I personally don't think in a "wearing PJs to Walmart" lazy, though haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:48 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's important to keep in mind though that some people literally can't afford to have many different types of bras. People with unusual bandwidths or larger cup sizes literally have to pay $50-70 PER bra
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why I think a nude colored racerback or convertible bra should be a staple for everyone. Even those little clips that are meant to convert a regular bra into a racerback work well for adjusting straps to better suit an unusually shaped top. I use them for the one bra I have that's in my true size (28DD). It's a nude seamless bra that disappears under almost everything. But I guess many women find nude bras frumpy or something, given all of the black or colorful bras I see showing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:39:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a girl, it just gets really annoying sometimes because we hear that all the time. I don't think guys realize that lot of clothes aren't made for certain bras you may have or may not have. Spaghetti strap, you wear with a bandeaux or strapless bra. What if it's in the wash or you can't find it?
Also bra straps get loose, they fall, they fray, bras peek up under shirts, they get caught under shirts... It happens. And eventually you get lazy and just not care in certain situations hahaha. And some girls just don't know how to wear bras. That also happens. Hearing it pointed out by a guy? Eh not exactly fun.
I don't think it's socially unacceptable -- walking around my city you sure would never suspect that was considered anything but mandatory -- I think it's ugly and sloppy. Except in cases where seeing the bra is the point (which can often be quite a pretty look), it's just the opposite of chic. I don't understand girls who have nice racer-back shirts, then wear a regular bra. You're ruining the look. Get the right bra.
I usually tell my wife when hers are hanging out because it looks sloppy. Like if my underwear are visible above my pantline, or if my stomach shows when I lift my arms.
I haven't worn a bra in over five years due to ribs that slide out of place at even a gentle nudge. Bra straps and claps are agonizing. If it's offended anyone, they've never told me.
It's like any other piece of underwear. If someone has their thong or boxers sticking out, it just gives off the impression that they have zero regard for their appearance and are messy and lazy.
pselie4 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:04:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a woman wears a shirt of dress with an open back and wears a bright colored bra I think it just looks ugly. And considering I'm a straight guy with absolutely no fashion sense, I suppose you shouldn't do that. Please, wear a skin colored bra or better no bra.
It's more of a self respect thing, like pants sagging so low underwear is showing. Sort of dress like an adult, you know? Not really a slut thing, so much as a slob thing.
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
anreac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well...some of us cannibals
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel ;)
hefoxed ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:49:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hang out in gay leather bars. I have gotten used to chit chatting with friends while people fuck right next to us.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:39:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's wow
hefoxed ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:49:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What is likely more confusing to outsiders is that it's usually bare back (condomless) sex, sometimes between strangers.
In San Francisco, there is still people contracting HIV unfortunally, but many of the very sexually active people are either:
HIV+ but undetectable [meaning their viral loads are under a threshold that is considered undetectable, which various studies are showing will not transmit HIV
HIV- and on prep, which is a low dosage of a antiviral HIV medication which is showing reduces the chances of getting HIV (and possibly other viruses) by a lot.
Also, most have STD tests done every 3 months if not sooner (I just got mine done today).
Belgand ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:22:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm... that's a violation of SF sex club laws actually. They specify that you need to use a condom for any vaginal or anal intercourse regardless of whether you're already a fluid-bonded couple or not.
I know that Citadel is really big on making this clear, but I'm not sure how well that propagates outside of the (largely straight/pansexual) BDSM community into the gay leather community.
hefoxed ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sex in bars is against law (which is one reason I didn't specially mention any names of bars), because they serve alcohol (it is possible to have a seperate "sex area" and "alcohol area" also, but don't know of anyone with that setup anymore), so breaking the law further is likely not on the mind of those that partake in sex at these locations. Citadel, blow buddies, steamworks, Eros, and power exchange do not serve alcohol and thus, can have sex (and thus aren't gay leather /bars/).
There appears to be a way around that by having private rentals of spaces, e.g. a bar can be rented out by a group and they can serve alcohol and allow sex, but I not sure if that completely bypasses the alcohol and safe sex laws (and thus am not mention places that do that). This is the case with the other main dungeon in SF. BTW, Citadel also does do private rentals sometimes. Also, citadel is not just straight/pansexual -- it has male only parties; 15 association used to be hosted there and KUF is now there.
From what I've seen, the gay community, specially the kinky community, is moving to frequent STD tests/treatment/ prep/undectable as way to reduce spread of STDs. I am on the fence on how effective this will be long term (as I don't know the numbers, other then new HIV infections are decreasing in SF), but it may work better then safe sex laws, etc. Stopping the spread of STDs is what's important after all.
Honestly I'd be perfectly fine with living in a society where people are like, "Hey, want to come over? The SO and I were going to watch a movie, maybe make some nachos, then fuck a bit. I could really use some ideas on how to be better, so you should totally come by and have a look."
dayblow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had friends that were this comfortable together. Do you live in New York by any chance?
I've been to parties before and outright orgies break out. I just kind of walk by like nothing is happening.
AbeRego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swamp Loggers? Deadliest Catch Snatch?
pjmcm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To me it's like watching porn.
GuvnaG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On that line of thought, if you want to leave for a little while (because you're uncomfortable, not me/us) and go do it for awhile and come back, feel free. There's nothing wrong with it. If you're a couple who consistently decides to bail early because you want to go home and fuck, fuck you. Unless you're goddamn Adonis and last for several hours, I'm sure you can finish up and come back, and if you can't, try to contain yourselves.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahmrael ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 21:56:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not making my bed. Seriously, why should I have to make my bed look all nice and neat when the only people who would ever see it besides me are people who's approval I don't need to actively worry about?
I used to ask my mom why I had to make my bed like "Why, so if someone breaks into our house when we're gone it's not too messy for them?"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's what my mom says. She used to tell me that if I don't do something as simple as make up my bed, then how am I going to do other simple things like tidy my house or scrub the toilet? I suppose it's just taking care of your stuff. I still don't make my bed though hahaha.
But back when I was pretty depressed, my group therapy counselor and therapist always suggested that I start off the day doing something small and productive like making my bed. It sort of wakes up my brain and makes the room look a little less miserable.
More like, making your bed keeps all the mold and crud inside, leaving it to rot where no one, including you, can see it, instead of letting things air out and be healthy.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:27:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think that, but I still make my bed everyday. I was really glad I made it the day I came home to my child and a room full of Paramedics and Police in my bedroom. At least my bed was made.
I once had someone say that I was not brought up properly and that my parents were disgusting for allowing me to do this. We were eating lunch in High school, it came up, most people agreed they wouldn't ask, and I was like hell yeah, if I'm thirsty I'm gonna politely ask for a glass of water. I wouldn't ask for food though, something about food seems a little ruder. Waters free, food isn't.
I think it's also because water is a more immediate need. You can probably wait until you get home to eat, but if you're dehydrated you should probably drink something right away.
My wife and I are friends with a couple (we go way back; she and she were roommates in college) who are pretty informal:
One time, Mary asked if she could have a nap on our bed. I was surprised how happy that made me, and not because Mary was finally in my bed. Rather, if she just came right out and asked for what she wanted, that meant, there wasn't anything else she was wanting. And therefore, I could be confident that I was being the perfect host, with a completely satisfied guest. That felt good.
We have this one branch of our family who say my mother is a shite host because she doesn't offer them, by name, like everything in our pantry. They have five (FIVE!?!?!?!) children who come with them with they would stay with us, and the contentions against their visit would be along the lines of "It was fine, but Mrs. KnitterWithAttitude didnt even offer the toddlers candy, can you imagine? it was right there in the cupboard, and she didn't say a thing!"
No We're not reading 7 minds simultaneously, you can use combined intellect of those 7 brains to ask for what you want, using your words, you unstoppable weirdos.
Mr. Knitter possesses most of the Attitude we've inherited and nurtured as a tribe of Knitters. It's true.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree with you. Specially because I get super annoyed when I go to somebody's house and they keep pushing and offering all types of food they made the day before. If it's there on display and I want it I'll ask, stop asking me 300 times if I want cake!
LectorV ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:16:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it, my grandma lives with us and will always list all of the food that is already on the table multiple times, to everyone.
This boy was flat out saying that you should never ask at all. I wouldn't go and say "Hey, can I have that can of coke", or, dude can I eat that biscuit. But water should always be absolutely fine.
I'm taking pleasure in imagining that. I want all through school with him. Always hated him. He always kind of wanted to be my friend... Had the same name as me, was born the day after me. Always made a big deal out of it, then one day tried to claim he was my cousin because my grandfather (Who could pass me in the street and not have a clue who I am) and his dads uncle were cousins...
That makes this guy your fifth cousin or something. Host a 7-hour family reunion and don't serve any food or beverages. There will be some collateral damage in that the other 100 or so people will be hungry and thirsty, but it would help you drive home the point.
I will always ask for water if I want it, but as for food it depends on how well I know them. If I just met them, I won't ask. But if its a close friend or family I might ask for a sandwich or something. As long as it isn't expensive or hard to make.
I'll ask for a drink but not food. Since I live in England, we nearly always offer a guest a cup of tea anyway. Not even a stereotype, it's a fact, my mother must drink about 15 cups a day.
kerrda ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate going to someone's house and not being offered something to drink, at least a water fuck!
I think asking for a drink is totally fine, but asking for food is pretty imposing. If someone is that hungry, they should have eaten before stopping by (unless it's a good friend).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the only people I wouldn't mind asking for food are people I wouldn't mind walking in and making themselves some food. Other than that, if I want to feed you, I'll ask.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:25:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
xStahl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:36:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude go to Iceland! This rule is like non existent over here I have never heard anyone complain because I asked for water or something to eat, in fact it's the opposite if anything.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:02:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this! Whenever I have guest first thing I do is offer them a cup of tea or coffee and some food! Mostly because I want a cup of tea but regardless.
Same. I was beginning to think I was the only one. I ask everybody, even my closest friends if they want something to drink when they come over. The whole "nothing that costs money thing" I'm sure everyone's wallet can handle the 10 cents that a glass of soda or juice might be. Come on, ffs. To be honest, I'll probably think someone's rude af if they don't offer something, but that's just how I was raised and the milieu I grew up in and I guess I can understand that someone might not because of how they were raised as well...I would just question the parents' rudimentary etiquette skills. It's pretty basic, after all.
I'll take this one a bit further: When you go to someone's house and it's stuffy as fuck. Everyone is stuffy and hot and no one opens a window or mentions that it's too fucking hot because that is somehow rude.
Even worse is when the host seems offended that you opened a window and closes it. It's like, why is no one else mentioning that they can't breathe?
If someone opened my window (or changed the thermostat, which is basically the same thing), I'd be annoyed that they didn't just ask me to do it for them. If you're uncomfy, tell me so that I can be a good host! And don't touch mah damn windows.
You could say, "hey it's a bit stuffy, would you open a window please?"
To which they respond "My beloved guest, I would if not for my cats. My cats are very dear indeed, but I shall turn on the air conditioning post haste."
my house. what if the window isn't on securely and you'll break it by opening it, what if there is no screen and bugs will get in? what if any number of things...a good host will try to make sure that guests are comfortable, but if the host is too cold, then you dont get to take it upon yourself to make the environment even colder, it isnt your house
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:33:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
During the Oklahoma blizzard a few years back, my friend and his then girlfriend came to stay a few days with us since we were the only people they knew with power (Everyone else was out for at least a week or more).
We set them up in a room that was never used for anything but storage of a few boxes and tubs that I never got around to finding a place for.
She was a total and complete ungrateful shit who whined and complained about everything. She would come in and try to change the channel when I was in the middle of watching a movie or playing a game....anyway, that's besides the point.
One day, a day or so after they had left, I notice that it's colder than usual in the house despite the fact that our poor little heater was working overtime. On a whim, I popped open the door to the room they were staying in and got blasted by an arctic death ray.
That scrawny, stuck up shitbird had opened a window and left it open....in january...during a blizzard.
Not only was my house way colder than it should have been but there was also a nice pile of snow coming in through the window and gathering up on my carpet.
Needless to say...she was no longer allowed in my home. Luckily, they ended up splitting and she no longer was our problem.
EDIT I also found out later that she killed my snake that I had for several years while it was under the temporary care of my friend. She put windex in the poor thing's water. RIP CEDRIC
I think a simple, "Hey, do you mind if we open that window a little?" should be perfectly acceptable. As another commenter noted, there may be a practical reason to check first (like whether my cat might jump to her death if you throw open the one window that's missing a screen). But if you're a close friend or a familiar guest, you'd already know my ways and reasonings, and course you would be trusted with full window control.
My Mother taught me that it was polite to always say no when someone offered food or drink, even if you were actually hungry or thirsty. I still have a really hard time saying yes.
My best friend who lives with her Russian grandparents told me it's rude to not accept their offers. I still do anyway because there's no way in hell I'll eat cow tongue or the other crazy shit they've offered me, but thankfully that isn't too often!
It's never occurred to me to ask and I'm not sure if it's because I'm a recluse or because the standing rule in the circle of people I know is "If you're in my house, you can have whatever food or drinks you want- but you have to get it yourself." Plus, we were raised to always offer to people who came to visit who weren't regularly there.
Our standing rule among my close friends is that for the first three visits, you are a guest. After that you're family - let yourself in, put the kettle on, etc.
How is this rude? I'm a first gen American from a Middle Eastern family, and all I can think of is that you're drawing attention to the huge shame of them not preemptively offering you food/drink/their best-looking child's hand in marriage.
On the other hand, I guess it could be nice to not have to fend off the force-feeding (or force-boozing) some older people tend to go for with their guests.
This is one difference I've noticed between european and American culture. In Europe you don't have to ask because when you come over to someone's house they immediately offer you something to drink or eat and it's not just a formality. They will feed you. In the US this is not common unless you've been specifically invited over for dinner. It's really strange that asking for something is rude or taboo. However, I grew up in an Italian household and food and drink are always offered to guests.
Nah mate, im Dutch, its more or less a result of the protestant mindset. Asking people for food or drinks (when you are not best friends) is almost like asking for money.
what kind of fucking wasteland do you live in? I just fucking walk into my friends kitchen and start making lunch while his parents sit there and ask he how my day is without ever even looking at the food i'm taking from them, same in my house... eat away hungry motherfuckers.
Likewise, turning stuff down if you truly don't want it. No I don't want a cup of tea or biscuits, please don't look at me like I just stabbed your grandma.
I go to mates places, and the closer ones I normally hit them up for leftovers. They're mostly chef's, so they cook a meal, slap the leftovers in the fridge and then end up throwing it out. They love it when I come over because they get appreciation for their efforts, and it doesn't go to waste like it normally would.
I've always offered a drink and something to eat (if there was something good in the kitchen like cake or biscuits etc.) At my friends houses I just go to the cupboard myself haha. Depending on what they asked for I think it's perfectly ok. Like if they point to the fruit bowl and say 'do you mind if I have an apple' it's fine
So, the origin of this one is not really that you can't have something. It's more: it's the host's job to take care of your needs. They should offer. If you ask, therefore, in theory you're accusing your host of failing to properly fulfill his obligation as a host.
So, you're being rude by pointing out that you host is being discourteous and neglectful, and therefore you're being discourteous.
I agree it should be no big deal to ask for something when visiting. But what about people, who you don't know well, who just go in the kitchen and take stuff? I haven't encountered it much in my adult life, probably because if you are in my house we are most likely decent friends and I don't mind. But I encountered a few kids growing up, who I barely knew who would just act like they owned the place. I found it rude.
If you are in my house and have to ask for a drink then that is my failing as a host, you probably won't have to ask for food, but i would consider it a little cheeky. Wouldn't mind at all if i was less poor though.
I was brought up to always offer a drink, even if it's water, when someone comes over. Tea is the go to.
If someone had to ask me for water I'd be mortified that I hadn't offered soon enough.
There are 8-10-year-olds in our neighborhood who will announce they're hungry as soon as they walk in, ask for snacks and juice and even open the pantry or fridge to help themselves. They are also surprised when offered water as a juice substitute. They are rude as hell but really don't know any better. I once asked a 9-year-old girl why she was helping herself to another juice pouch so soon after she'd just had one and her reaction wasn't to apologize, but to say "I'm still thirsty." I guess they can't be expected to be polite if they've never been taught manners at home.
Being honest instead of being nice. An example would be like when someone asks you how they look in something (usually women), I'm completely honest with my response. If I don't like something, I say so, but I'm not mean about it but I don't lie to save their feelings. I expect the same in return. In general, I just value honesty over almost anything else.
My mother always told me a pretty good adage: never comment negatively on someone's appearance that they cannot change in 15 minutes. So, boogers in the nose, your mascara is running, or your shirt buttons are off. Even something about a certain article of clothing, given that they are at their house and can change quickly. Things like weight, haircuts, and outfits outside of the home, you should keep mum on. I always thought this was a good rule of thumb.
gills89 ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 22:32:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this! I also like the rule of 'true, kind, necessary'. If you are going to make a comment then it should be at least 2 of those 3.
Wow, that's actually another one that my mom uses. Are you my mom?
TaiVat ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Necessary" seems enormously arbitrary and "true" is very often subjective too. I guess it works a method of approaching a situation, but overall sounds like one of those "wise" advice that merely mean "think through each situation yourself" and probably dont work out as well as you think it does.
Vanetia ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:13:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. If my shirt is inside out and I somehow failed to notice, please tell me so I can fix it. However, if you just think the shirt looks like ass, and I have no access to one to change in to, please keep your mouth shut so I don't feel self-conscious the entire time we're out.
I've been stepping out the door with my husband only to look back and see he's wearing one of his "only at home" shirts (with a giant stain on it). I'll tell him and he'll change.
However, if I somehow failed to notice that until we were already out and about, I wouldn't say shit. Too late now!
Even this isn't common and I don't know why. Awhile ago a woman in the bathroom had a long sweater that was tucked into the back of her pants and I told her and she seemed really grateful and shocked I'd tell her. I always tell people stuff like that (in private, I wouldn't announce it to a crowd) but it isn't as common as I thought. I always thought it was like girl code or some shit.
Me too - I was v grateful the other day when a random woman stopped me and told me my skirt was tucked into my pants; stopped me walking through the town centre flashing my Bridget Jones-style granny pants to the world!
Nope, I'm a Texan, born and raised. Maybe it's a southern thing? It means "to keep quiet." Sort of like "mum's the word," as in "keep it on the down-low."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You see, the thing is. I was born and raised in Texas too, and still live there.
Chinese family always comment on appearance even if you can't fix it in a short amount of time. My relatives always commented on "Oh hey you should wash your face more often or try this magical remedy for that acne, etc etc". I don't have excessive acne, but the air inside a plane is so congested, I'm obv gonna break out.
My mom and dad do it too. I've told them to stop, and I use the 5 min rule. If I can't fix it in 5, don't tell me about it. I cannot just eradicate all acne in 5 minutes, auntie. Like whaddya want me to do about this right now?
There's literally nothing you can do about this. I'm Chinese, too. Trust: you'll never be able to convince your elders of a better/nicer way of doing/saying anything. To their minds, they're not even being assholes. You just have to take it.
Or take my route and become so much of a disappointment to the family that you're no longer obligated to attend family functions, and avoid all that shit for good.
White in China here, pissed me off before I realized it was a cultural thing.
I didn't say anything the first 2 times it happened, I just thought to myself "Take it in stride, they probably think you don't know where to buy the products that can help." (In response to a pimple above my eyebrow and later in response to looking tired).
After those 2 times, I realize it's a cultural thing and I just say "I know. Do you know what I can do to fix it?" because then I give the recognition that they're trying to be helpful and ALSO generally I get some good advice, like "There's a product on taobao you can get. It looks like this. Call me if you need help purchasing it, because the website is in Chinese!" Then I can say thanks and hey, I might even look into it.
I have grown some thick skin in this place. I've also gotten a huge head, because as much as I feel like they openly comment on the bad, they openly comment on the good about 5 fold that, so really I'll take it!
Welllllllll they tend to treat white people with more respect. White is the ideal, as you may have seen in the beauty standards too. The models could be Asian but their skin's so pale they must have ingested some fluorescent lights.
To make their commercials more persuasive that their product is the best, they may insert a white person in there to claim that this product's awesome.
Chinese family do not compliment you after they talk about how to fix up your body. Basically, Chinese people just don't compliment. Traditionally, if you are too proud of something openly, or you compliment, the belief is that the gods will take away that good thing.
For example, if your kid's getting A's, and you say they're smart, then they're gonna be dumb because the gods are jealous. If you are boasting about your perfect skin, the gods will be jealous and you'll get horrific acne-ridden skin with pus and boils and all sorts of nasties.
While I know it has something to do with my whiteness (I get my picture taken a lot lol). I also think people here tend to be more complimentary of strangers. Like it might not be cool to brag about how awesome your kid is, but you can say the waitress is pretty, or that someone you know is really caring. People on my work campus CONSTANTLY say how my manager's daughter is the "most beautiful child in (company)." And she is. That kid is the most adorable kid I've ever seen.
I think Chinese culture produces the nicest, most generous people in the world... at least until it comes to standing in line or driving... or complimenting family members, apparently haha.
Chinese culture produces the nicest, most generous people in the world
That's legit the first time I've ever heard anyone compliment them as generous, haha! Things can get messy in relationships though... Honey traps and all that. In Hong Kong, wives don't really like their husbands going to China for work or whatever... he's pretty much a goner if he has to head to China. Girlfriends don't let their boyfriends go up there, and if they do, it's probably because they're practically married.
It's a tough culture in China, especially for finding work or relationships, mainly because there's just so many people. Sometimes, you just gotta use a not-so-honest tactic to get what you want.
Oh they are though! It's just not in a way that westerners are used to seeing generosity. Chinese will give anything to a guest. I've seen really elaborate meals made when someone said they're "a little hungry" or they "could eat." I've personally been lost at night, without my phone, with only a slip of paper with my address on it and had complete strangers spend over an hour trying to ensure I got home safely and comforting me. I've had other strangers completely go out of their way to show me where the bus stop is, and which stop to get out of for the metro (Juno, if you're out there, I regret not adding you on WeChat! You were so cool!).
Seriously. Most generous, helpful, caring people on the planet. I can't imagine an American going that far out of their way to help a stranger, let alone a stranger they don't understand.
I can see how wives and girlfriends would be suspicious though, if their husbands/boyfriends go out of town though. Women here come on strong. They take "no" pretty well, but they have a look like "it's cool. I'll get you someday." My boyfriend gets this a lot.
Work relationships, yeah, they're difficult if you don't know anyone. It weird though. The first one is the hardest to build. After that first one has been solidified, you're in with their friends, too. Now, that means a bit, but if that first friend loses his contacts, then you do too. It's very difficult. You never know if or when that could happen.
Perhaps it's a case-by-case kind of thing. My ex was there, but when he was lost, people didn't really help him out and thought he was just being weird, like why is a Chinese guy lost in China? He also almost got robbed at a bar (the bill amounted to some number, but they tripled the price knowing he holds a Canadian passport).
When I was in the States, people were just as nice as you had described the Chinese. I wasn't lost, but I was looking for a certain clam chowder restaurant, and they looked it up on their phone and walked with me partially there.
There are legitimately courses that teach women how to steal a boyfriend/husband, it's sort of scary. Although I think being in HK has really jaded me in this aspect. I totally agree with the verbally, a "no" is ok, but you know there's something cooking in their brains.
Huh, wow, I'm surprised he got robbed, but not really surprised about the overcharging... While it hasn't happened to me, I've heard stories.
BUT, I'm really glad people in the states were as helpful, because I think we have the idea "you're an American" even if you have an accent, different skin color, traditional non-american clothing, whatever. It's good, because it makes us pretty accepting, but it's bad because when people aren't, that assumption leads us to be less helpful... So I'm glad that your experience was different, because I've been thinking about that a lot lately. So yeah. That's relieving. That's something I want to bring back with me. I want to be the girl who's okay with dropping everything to help someone who may not have a ton of options.
Those how to steal your boyfriend classes? That's crazy! I've never heard about that, can you elaborate? That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
It's literally like a weekly class that girls sign up to try and reap in a wealthy husband/spouse/boyfriend. Marrying rich is very important, almost on par with marrying to get out of the country, aka getting the green card.
That's awful. My dad does that to my little brother all the time about his acne. He's fourteen! He could take a cheese grater to his face and not get all the blackheads out, simply because of his age. But if you point it out, it does nothing but make the person uncomfortable about their appearance for the rest of the day, or until they can "fix," whatever you're deeming wrong with them.
Agreed. I always try to hint at changing an outfit instead of specifying what's wrong. If someone asks me if I like what they're wearing and it is hideous or isn't meant for their body type I'll mention something like "don't forget it's going to be cold out tonight, might want to change into something warmer." Or when someone is buying a new outfit point out a common flaw instead of explaining why it doesn't look good or saying they have shitty taste say something like "don't you already have a bunch of striped shirts? Maybe go with something different?" Or "how often will you actually wear it? Make sure it's something you'll always feel comfortable in"
I also have a rule that you never say it loudly. My mom once told me in a store that my make up was orangey. People looked over at me. In my 14 year old head, when I was just starting to wear make up, this was terrible. She's also broken the 15 minute rule. Love her, but sometimes she lacks tact.
If I have a bad haircut I would love for someone to tell me. Just say "I don't really like that look on you" if you know the person, of course. My hairdo won't put off my friends, but it might put off strangers which is why my friends need to help me out. Don't fat shame a stranger, but if your bud's looking unhealthy, talk to them. But yes, don't make people unnecessarily self conscious, the best rule of thumb is probably to keep their best interest always at heart.
gayt0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I look?"
Ahem hold on, the lighting isn't quite right turns off all lights, punches out all the stars, tells the sun and the moon to fuck off now you look better
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:42 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that OP's mom is bilingual.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:12:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do these pants make me look fat?" "No your fat makes you look fat"
I learned this the hard way when I was a stupid 19 year old freshman and a girl I was dating put on the "freshman 15". She tried on a black dress and asked me how it looked and I told her that she looked like a black jelly bean and nobody likes the black jelly beans.
If I want to state what I'm thinking without getting socially ostracized for honestly answering the question she asks me, I'll say "No, the pants don't make your butt look big."
Holy fuck man, it's 5 am and I think I woke up my whole city, also my mother came to my room and asked why am I incontrollably laughing like an idiot. Thank you.
Cloymax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I read that in the character from parks and rec Craig Middleton's voice, sounded perfect
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You actually get a better response from that I've found. Because it makes them laugh and takes the edge off, or it's so ridiculous they get annoyed and forget to get mad at you for having a contrary opinion.
Giving an alternative answer is almost always better than a negative response. Let's take the question "Do you like my hair?"
Answer with "no, I don't like it" and that conveys negativity. What the answer meant was "I don't like that particular style", but the person asking may have heard was "I hate your hair entirely."
Answer with "I like it much better when you do X or Y with your hair" and that conveys positivity. The answer tells the person asking the question that "there's nothing necessarily wrong with your current hair, but do it in X and Y style and you'll look fan-fucking-tastic!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what's a good response to "isn't my baby cute?" when in fact your baby is not cute.
steggo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:30:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick a feature and comment. A compliment is preferred ("such beautiful eyes!"), but in a pinch, observations said happily also work ("look at all that hair!")
No, I could never do that. That isn't me. I'd probably just smile and treat it as if it were a rhetorical question, then maybe ask how old the baby is or something to move the conversation on. It would really pain me to lie and make that compliment in that situation. It would just sound so fake to me.
Then again, I don't think I've seen any particularly ugly babies before, so it's hard to imagine how exactly I would react to such a revelation.
dHoser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I've seen any particularly ugly babies before, so it's hard to imagine how exactly I would react to such a revelation
Practice now. It'll be well worth it. Especially if the ugly baby turns out to be your own.
I mean babies all pretty much look the same right?
dHoser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, some look like the Gerber baby, but some look like an old man weeping while drunk. Most are cute, but for the unfortunate mom with an ugly baby, wouldn't it be nice if the people around her were handy with a white lie to help?
A polite joke about how all babies resemble Winston Churchill before the age of 1 to you? That's what I do, and I'm a mom of two.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"DEAUUUGH!"
But in all seriousness, I'm not sure. Not many people I know asks me to validate their baby's cuteness. I'd probably say, "He/She looks just like his/her father/mother" and they'll hopefully take that as a compliment.
I agree with that. In addition I would say that timing is also very important. For example, if someone asks minutes before an important presentation "Do I look okay?" don't say things like "your shoes look ugly and unprofessional". Try to be honest about things like that when there is still time to do something about the situation "Can I wear those shoes tomorrow for my presentation?" "Better pick something different, they do not look very professional" or simply lie.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None that I can recall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'll be honest, she deserves getting yelled at by you. Let her have it. You're not supposed to fucking smoke when you're pregnant, and all that kid's problems are entirely her fault. Make her realize that.
On the flip side you can have too much tact; my family is a good example. After having my girlfriend at the time dump me and me telling them about it, the first thing they said was "you can do better."
And I'm just sitting there going "WHERE WAS THAT TWO MONTHS AGO."
But it's more fun when you're an asshole about it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:24:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it does look fucking hideous? Then you would be lying to say anything else.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's the thing, I would be an asshole and say those exact words. I'd probably jokingly say, "Damn where'd you get that? It looks garish!" I can't imagine anybody wearing something that hideous with serious intent
There's an extremely relevant quote that gets floated around when this comes up -
Those who take pride in being brutally honest are typically more interested in being brutal than they are in being honest.
It's completely possible to be kind and honest, or to understand that honesty is not always helpful. It's part of using adult discretion, but I seem to run into a lot of people who use honesty selectively as a tool to hurt others.
Yes exactly. I come across more and more people who seem to be assholes just for the shock value of it and they hide behind being honest as their excuse. Like offending someone is their goal and anyone offended ever is too senstive.
XSplain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:32:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? If you have to be nothing-held-back honest with someone who absolutely needs a hard truth, at least have the courtesy not to do it in front of a crowd, too. A lot of people like to make a production of it.
Yeah, I find the people who take the most pride in not being offended are pretty much always at the top of the hierarchy already. Like no shit, you're a healthy white dude, of course you don't find stuff offensive, it's pretty much never aimed at you.
White healthy males get made fun of all the time. They are rednecks, white trash, hicks, or shit-kickers. Maybe you've heard those terms, because ya know they aren't racial slurs or anything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And for every fat redneck, I've seen many a fit one. No doubt shit-kickers are generally always in good health, nary a nasty bite from too much Skoal. White trash, yes, I would stereotype as unhealthy. Hicks is too umbrella, but I feel it's easily just as offensive.
E_Snap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do exist, but they're absolutely horrible to use on anyone. Regardless of how often they may or may not happen, I'd put false rape and gender/racial discrimination accusations on the blue shell list. Those can easily knock somebody back to 8th.
I've met white guys who will take offense to anything and I've met minority-race girls who are super cool and calmly let you know when you've crossed a line, if at all, but ok if you say so. "Hierarchy." I've never heard that one. Is this like a privilege hierarchy or most-offended one or what? How does a person who's disabled rank compared to someone who's trans? How bad does the disability need to be?
Is it true, is is useful, is it the right time? If it's not all 3 of those things, don't say it. There are rare exceptions, but generally good rules to try and follow.
I am going to commit this phrase to memory. It will save me a lot of trouble later.
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, people will no doubt hold your example as some great wisdom, since its simplistic and easy to remember, but IMO is completely useless. The problem is that all of those are 100% subjective.
If someone asks your opinion about their clothes, maybe they are ugly to you, maybe it seems useful to tell that person that the clothes are ugly, maybe you're alone together, but many people - some just above your post - would consider being honest in such a situation still rude. And others wouldnt.
Okay. Someone asks your opinion and you think the clothes look bad on them you wonder if you should say their clothes look bad.
Is it true? You think the clothes look bad, so yes.
Is it useful and beneficial for you to say something? Possibly. It depends on the exact situation. Would it help them to know that you dislike the clothes? Or would it just hurt them?
Is it the right time? Probably, if they asked your opinion, but there are also situations where this might be a no. (i.e. your girlfriend took a lot of time and is dressed up for a night out. There is no time to change. Is now the right time to be brutally honest?)
So if you're not sure about all of them, don't say it. In that situation if you're not sure, I would probably just compliment some part of the outfit I like instead. Even in really ugly outfits, I think it's always possible to find something you like. i.e "I really like the colour here", "I think the cut of shirt suits you well", "I like the detailing on the sleeve", "I think it goes really well with your (hair, eyes etc.)".
If you're not sure, try to say something positive and true.
Yeah, of course everything's subjective. Most people are going to get it wrong at some point. But all you can do is try your best, and personally, I think remembering that phrase helps make me kinder.
Right speech is a part of the Buddhist eightfold path, which I generally try to follow. I think the phrase is pretty simple to remember, and an easy way to determine if something is probably right speech or not.
I have a similar problem. Ive struggled with using honesty as an excuse to be tactless. I am a kind person; I don't want to hurt anyone unnecessarily. But I'm also aware that any people are upset by things that don't upset me, and I used to use honesty (which I do greatly value) as an excuse not to bother with sensitivity, blaming people for being offended, rather than bothering to learn to censor myself when appropriate.
Now, I want to try to be both honest and tactful, but I've ignored that aspect of communication for so long that I'm oblivious to when I'm saying something that people are likely to be offended by.
I (briefly) dated a woman who was only honest when she could use it to hurt someone's feelings, and at the same time would react poorly if she didn't like the truth. As someone who places huge value on honesty, that was one of the main reasons I left her. It's cruel.
Now I'm with a girl who will reliably be honest with me in a way that is both helpful and not unpleasant. It makes a world of difference to my emotional well-being. Tact is important, and tactful honesty is a great step towards a healthy relationship.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:13:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the OP, but I think there is a difference between taking pride in being honest and taking pride in being brutally honest.
Sometimes it's possible to be honest and nice. Sometimes you have to choose. That doesn't mean you should be honest and as mean as possible. "If I don't like something, I say so, but I'm not mean about it but I don't lie to save their feelings."
It's not always clear when honesty will or won't be helpful. Some people place a lot of value on honesty and will tend to err on the side of being honest in these cases. That doesn't mean they aren't behaving like adults. I prefer adults who are consistently honest to adults who are consistently "nice."
The thing is, if you are careful and tactful about when you're being honest, you're already being nice. Just because it may come off as harsh doesn't make it not nice.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, with all the self-congratulation of "being completely honest all the time!"
"Do these pants make me look fat?" Even though that's a stupid and loaded question, it's much more kind to say "Those aren't my favorite. I think you look better in the other ones" than to just say "Yes!" or worse.
True that. I used to be this, I think out of immaturity and tactlessness. Good thing I grew up. Now I do constructive criticism or if I don't have anything nice to say I won't. No need to tell a new mother her baby is in fact ugly.
There's an extremely relevant quote that gets floated around when this comes up -
Those who take pride in being brutally honest are typically more interested in being brutal than they are in being honest.
It's completely possible to be kind and honest, or to understand that honesty is not always helpful. It's part of using adult discretion, but I seem to run into a lot of people who use honesty selectively as a tool to hurt others.
Agreed, the "I'm just being honest" card can make one sound like a high-horse some ride en route to being real jerk. Certainly not always, but the examples of "I'm just being honest" always seem to come with blunt criticism rather than praise. Not sure they always pursue nice honesty with equal fervor of nasty honesty. Tact can go a long ways.
Honesty doesn't have to be brutal for it to be the truth though.
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like when someone says something shitty to you then says, "Just joking!" My internal response is always, "You suck at jokes and I might just hate you now."
Those who take pride in being brutally honest are typically more interested in being brutal than they are in being honest.
I realized that after a while, but it's just being 'cool' in school phase though (and with people you know), anyone sane would not try that stuff when it could affect your career.
Absolutely, but there's times when people really need to stop worrying about other's feelings and just tell it like it is. For instance, I've had people keep putting off plans I try to make with them. Just be honest and say you don't wanna hang out. Don't insult my intelligence like that.
See some of us just lost the ability to care. Will it hurt them, does it stand to benefit them? I rarely care. The reason I say something is because that is what I am thinking. If you don't like it, get rid of me, and I am sure you will too if you don't like what I have to say.
Maybe its about usefulness and getting the word out. Maybe it hurts someone in the process, but I think its better than saying nothing and letting it go unnoticed.
And a lot of people who lie trying to spare your feelings, thus harming you. In college, I grew a beard. I thought it would be cool and manly. Many years later, I found a photo of my mother had taken of me while I had the beard. It looked hideous. I was mortified. I have very light blonde hair, the beard was sparse, and it basically looked like pubic hair all over my face. When I told friends about it, they said yeah it was a horrible beard. I really wish someone had told me back then. No wonder I didn't get laid enough in college. I suppose someone will say didn't you look in a mirror? But I guess I wasn't very self-aware at that time. And there weren't a lot of mirrors.
Being nice is better than being cool for sure, but being honest it's better than it being dishonest every time. Use some tact, but be honest. You can be honest without being brutal.
I take pride in my honesty, but I don't force those honesty on anyone. If you ask for my opinion though, I won't lie to you, even if I know that you won't like my answer. If you don't want an honest opinion, don't ask.
Unfortunately, like you said, there are a lot of shitheads who use "honesty" as a tool to insult others
I'm just the same way. I take pride in being honest, but I always ask people if they want the honest answer or the polite one. That way, they get whatever response they're more comfortable with.
As a person who picks honesty over niceness, I am not interested in being brutal. I'm interested in not lying to the other person. If I don't like your casserole, I'm not going to say it was good. I don't want you to continue making it when I visit if I don't like it.
It's rarely ever so cut-and-dry. It's more often something like a woman with low self-esteem asking how she looks, or occasionally something complex like a child asking if they are smart. In those cases, even if they are both average, it is important to understand the context in which the question is being asked, and consider it carefully before being "totally" honest.
It's actually often cut-and-dry for me. It's not always cut-and-dry, though. Just because I use honesty as a rule of thumb doesn't mean I have a search-and-destroy policy when I go about it. I don't use honesty as a chance to be mean.
But do you say "Sorry, I didn't care for it"/"It was kind of bland"/"I don't like mushrooms", or do you say "That was super gross, ew, yuck, awful"? Both are true, but one is honest and the other is brutally "honest".
In my experience, most people will not say no. They will just say that they liked it so the person doesn't get their feelings hurt. I thought that's what we were talking about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why bunch of people equate honesty with being rude?
If you liked the meal (like 6 out of 10) will you be super-exited, talk like you just won a house-makover and giggle?
Honesty is great (except if you work in sales - you will get fired). If I had a bad breath I would like people to tell me so I can fix it. There was, in college, one guy with bad feet smell and other with bad breath. I told them that in my 5th sentence (5th sentence after first contact) - fixed it when I saw them next time.
Because most people who like to go around proclaiming how they're soooo honest instead of being nice aren't being honest, they're being rude assholes and trying to justify it. Honesty and niceness are not exclusive; you don't need to choose one over the other.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty and niceness are rarely mutually exclusive, it's just that being both takes more effort than choosing one or the other
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:12:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well... I like playing Hotline Miami.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't try to be brutal, but I do engage in "radical honesty". Tell it as I see it, comfort them later if necessary. At least that's how I'd want to be treated, so to me, it's the golden rule in practice
Nonono, its just that today not being totally nice is something really bad for most people. It completely ticks me off when I see people with their fake smiles complimenting each other all the fucking time when they don't even mean it...
And if someone says the truth they're automatically assholes because... well IDK honestly. I guess often the truth hurts, and it hurts to have some truth revealed while you were trying so hard to get it covered with a bunch of compliments.
r40k ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:47:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, thank you. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If they ask you directly, you can always phrase it in a generic way or in a way that gently breaks it to them.
This defense for perpetuating the virtue of lies as social lubricant is really just about allowing us to stay cowards.
If honesty hurts then maybe you were depending on the illusion the lie allowed too much.
It's like when someone tells you that thinking about the vastness of space makes them feel small and that they don't like it. Neil Degrasse Tyson talk about this once and a while. He always says that this likely means that your idea of how important you are was likely too big if this is your response to the universe.
So, I guess a better question might be if we are expected to avoid fracturing the delusions people tell them selves. Do we think delusion and false happiness is more important than truth?
I think the truth is always the way to go. Problem is that we're often wrong about what the truth is and people often hold conflicting notions of what is and is not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, you are getting off the subject.
To prove it I will continue.
And I started to dislike N D Tyson (5yrs or so ago) because he became so popular . And people will turn to him when they need "something scientific" to be answered. And we will get M. Kaku / Chomsky situation. Asking ND Tyson about viruses, economy and such (rarely he will say : my opinion is not important on these subjects).
My point is that many people, when confronted with the scale of the universe, feel small. The idea that this is true because they had a mistaken notion of how important they are ties directly in with the whole topic of how resistant people are to the truth.
It is an example of people not being comfortable with the truth and its tendency to shatter delusions. This isn't off topic, sir(or madam), you are.
Edit for triggers
[deleted] ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Patrice O'Neal had a good comment on that. "I think the term 'brutal honesty' is a dumb term. Who wants their honesty to be brutal? Brutal should be associated with lying like, 'you're a brutal liar'".
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:27:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Patrice was the truth.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The idea is that the truth can sometimes suck. It's not that people want their honesty to be brutal, but the truth doesn't change based on what you want.
(Not promoting being an asshole, just explaining the term and why O'Neal's criticism of the term doesn't make sense.)
reunity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's good to be honest, but it doesn't mean the one person has to be an asshole. I can be indecisive about clothes and when I shop, I'll ask my bf which outfit is better. He will always say both are great. I wouldn't mind if he said one outfit looked better than the other, but he's always afraid of offending me.
Being honest doesn't mean you have to say, "the blue one makes you look fat," you can just say, "I like the red one better." Even if you have no opinion or a strong opinion about either of them.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:24:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An example would be like when someone asks you how they look in something (usually women), I'm completely honest with my response.
I can relate, and people often ask me things they probably wouldn't ask others because of it. My favorite was when I was working for a large law firm years ago and one of the ladies from HR cornered me in the break room and asked me if she could ask me something (I've always loved when people do that - you just did!). I say sure, so she has me follow her to an empty office, where she closed the door and started slowly turning around while asking me if the pants she was wearing made her ass look fat. Holy hell was that awkward.
For the record, I told her that the horizontal pinstripes accentuated her curves and got the hell out of there.
I partially agree with you. Be honest if it's going to help. Tell her that her clothes don't match while she's still at home and she can change them, not in the middle of the night. She'll think about it the whole remaining of the night and feel bad. Same with things she can't change. Tell her you prefer her hair as they are today instead of as they were yesterday, not the other way around. Don't tell her she looks ugly, that's just mean. Find what exactly you don't like and how she could improve it and suggest it. If she can't improve it take it to your grave. She probably already knows and doesn't need you to remind her
Not saying you are doing this, though given your wording, occam's razor says you are.
What you are describing is colloquially known as "Radical Honesty," and is more often than not a bullshit way to justify being an asshole to people. The problem with "being honest instead of being nice" is that it is often used as an excuse to say what you most want to say to other people. To say the things that feel the best to say in the moment. More importantly, radical honesty represents a lack of empathy, because you don't need to focus on someone else's feelings to be "honest."
"Revolutionary honesty," on the other hand, is focusing on trying to always tell people the thing you are most afraid of them hearing. It isn't some bullshit trying to justify the chemical payoff of just saying what feels the best to say, it requires empathy and compassion.
It's a way of being honest with people, without being a fucking dick.
That makes you a good friend. Most people really want honest feedback, but everyone is afraid to give it.
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I hate the idea that being "nice" is lying. Its not. For example, if someone asks how they look in a shirt (and you think they look bad in it), by lying and being "nice" you're just setting them up for the inevitable when they find out it looks bad. Much better to hear the truth from a friend than a stranger.
Well and you have to consider that your tastes are more than likely different than that person's. And for me, most of the time I will just say "just wear whatever makes you feel great" because that's really all that matters anyway.
dchrisd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's my point. Your not lying in your example. They asked your opinion, and you're offering it honestly. Its a wishy-washy non commital answer, but at least its honest. And if the person pushes for a more direct answer, there's nothing mean by saying you don't like the shirt if you don't.
But you don't have to lie to be nice. You can say it's not flattering, rather than saying they look fucking awful.
dchrisd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:31:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never said you have to lie to be nice. I'm arguing that you shouldn't lie and that lying does not equal being nice. I completely agree with your example, its being honest but not hurtful, a concept most people don't understand for some reason when justifying lying.
True, one piece of information is helpful and the other isn't. I like my honesty but occasionally you just can't be honest.
dchrisd ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:47:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, stop with the personal attacks. If you want to discuss this, go ahead, but there's no need to call me a moron to make your point.
As to the facial burn example, if someone is asking your opinion, then you should be honest and they should accept your criticism since they asked for it. It is cruel to tell someone with facial burns that they look perfectly fine when they don't. And your example of a truthful statement about the burns is needlessly mean. The same thing can be said in a nicer way.
As to the shirt example, I'm not sure the point you're trying to make there, but if its an honest opinion, there's nothing wrong with the way it was phrased. In fact, its an example of a way to be honest, but not mean.
How are they going to "find out" ? I don't really think thats very likely. What do you think? that they will get a letter in the mail from the city stating that their apparel on <date> was in fact ugly?
Would random strangers say it's ugly?
dchrisd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:25:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be silly. Of course they won't get a random letter, but someone will eventually tell them, whether a random stranger, or an honest friend. And because you are the one that earlier told them they look fine (when they didn't) you are now the bad guy for letting them think everything is ok.
Guy tries to pick me up the other day and I hinted for a bit that I wasn't interested. Eventually I just said the words and he thought that I was extremely blunt but he was polite about it. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with being straightforward and honest.
Kegsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This only works if your honest for the sake of honesty, if you do it for any other reason (say for the sake of cruelty or laziness) then you usually come across as a complete asshole.
Either you don't have a girlfriend, or you have a great one.
Mythyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A female athlete friend of mine recently got her haircut. I did not like it. Told her. She said "Thanks, I don't like either" She then commented that I was the first honest person with regards to her hair. Week later she got it cut again. I gave her a thumbs up and she laughed and said thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ever see "the invention of lying". i want to live in the time prior to inventing lying.
reiv90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In this cases I just shut and I don't say anything. It's better because yo don't have to lie and they didn't get angry.
akaioi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tact for kindness' sake is still important. Let's run the scenario twice...
A: How do you like my new shirt?
B: It makes me want to die so that I never see it again.
A: ... oh. Well. I am emotionally destabilized now.
vs
A: How do you like my new shirt?
B: Doesn't flatter. I like the red one better.
A: Ok, fair enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why so many individuals think lawyers are assholes. I'm sure some are, but the truth is you're dealing with these individuals at a hard time in your life and they tell you the blunt truth straight up, I'm not going to sugar coat it I'm going to tell you straight up you're being emotional and not listening to reason and the fact is X Y and Z
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would like the Netherlands. The Dutch never seem to use euphemism or lie to save people's feelings. They just say how they feel politely and honestly.
If they are already wearing the item of clothing at the event. DO NOT say "I think it makes you look fat/old/unflattering." Because it's too late to do anything about it and you'll just kill their self esteem for the day. If the cut is bad, compliment the color. If the color is bad, compliment the cut. If everything about it is bad, tell her it's a very unique dress and quite the stand out. Confidence can help you carry off something unflattering. Do it for the gents, too.
If there is time to make a change, if they are asking an opinion before they buy, be honest, but not brutal. "I don't think that color is very flatting on you, I really think a cool red would be better on you." "I think a slightly longer hem would make this so much better, It's hitting you at an awkward length." "I think a 2 button stance would be far more flattering. the 3 button is too boxy for your shape."
It's never the person's fault, the garment is to blame. You don't look fat, the stripes are at a weird angle. You don't look red, the color isn't right for you. You don't look fat, the cut is unflattering. You don't look trashy, the hemline is in a weird place (clearly this was made for short people!).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I'd prefer to know the truth then have the wool pulled over my eyes.
That being said... In my experience pretty much every one says they want the truth and then get super butt hurt when they hear it.
This is a good one for me. I have a good friend who is a social worker, and she's super nice, but her complements have no value. Because I know even if I did something fucking awfully she would find some way to compliment me about it or straight up fucking lie to me and tell me it was good. If someone tells you when you fucked up and doesn't pull any punches, and then compliments you later, that person's complements have meaning.
I completely agree, however I soon learnt that many people don't want the truth, so now i've learnt to use equivocal language to get around that. I don't lie, but at the same time I tell you the whole truth.
Honesty is great and all but when you blurt out hurtful things because they are 'honest' then you really have no social tact. For ex: I honestly think your wife could have done better. Your son seems slower than most other kids. You are tactless <- Things that dont need to be said nonstop only because they are honest.
There is a tine for honest and there is a time for tact. Knowing the difference will vastly improve your social life
kcivic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I normally ask: "How does this look" and get a "good" Then I say: "Now pretend we are strangers and pass each other in the mall, how does this look?" (:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've started living like this and it has made my life a lot more enjoyable and way less frustrating. Took me a while to find the line between honesty and being an asshole though
I don't think that's a good attitude to have. Lies are pretty important and useful. Deciding to be honest is like playing life with a handicap.
Shit, if anyone is forward enough to ask your opinion on something they've already invested time or money in, they expect and desire a compliment or reassurance. Giving them anything else is just breaking the rules and a net-negative.
And if you've decided that you're gonna be a dick, at least have fun with it, exaggerate how awful their thing is, maybe even make it into a joke, telling the truth is just plain boring.
I usually ask for permission to speak freely before I become brutally honest. I'm courteous to a fault sometimes.
TTHtv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I went on a triple date with a girl I liked and some friends, and when I was getting ready, I texted her a picture of me in my outfit to ask her what she thought of it (she had done the same to me), and she told me she liked it. Well, when I got to the restaurant, one of my friends who is close friends with my date, took me aside and told me to take off my jacket because my date had texted her that she didn't like it. If she had said something, I wouldn't have worn it
After being lied to multiple times by what I thought were good friends... the person I rely most on on this earth is ridiculously honest. To the extent where it is sometimes hurtful but my god do I trust this person to never lie at me. It's the best feeling in the world and I wish I was as strong to always be honest. My kudos to you. Someone saying the harsh truth is often absoluly needed.
There's no harm in being honest when someone has alternative options. If however, someone has come out and is asking how they look, chances are they're nervous about their appearance. While not everyone will agree with me, I'd argue that the boost to their confidence is far more important than how they actually look.
An example would be like when someone asks you how they look in something (usually women), I'm completely honest with my response.
i am honest with my wife. I've picked up what she doesn't like about her body and what she looks for in clothes that she knows do not fit well. She jokes about these parts and I say, "honestly, i do not know if you're going to feel comfortable in that dress/shirt/pants/&c."
if i can identify ill fitting clothes that accentuate the body poorly or a shirt is just a little too low to the point where she'd be uncomfortable, then you GOTTA let her know. Usually when you give her feedback, it's already confirming what she thought.
Put the clothes back on the rack and buy something that looks good.
ALSO: i demand the same respect. I have questionable taste and i demand to know if i'm going to look like a damn fool in public!
fcg13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I'm just like that, I try to be as honest as can with people I care about, and expect the same from them. Things just work better that way once they get over the "that honest thing he said offended me!" phase, which is indeed a phase because the realization that being plain honest all the time just makes things more transparent and intimate comes quite fast. I usually am "just nice" when it's someone I barely know or don't really want to talk to, so I just act nice not to cause any further dialogues.
I'm fine with being tactful, but sometimes people specifically ask for brutal honesty and it turns out they were just being facetious, and they get upset when I'm honest with them. As someone who has problems reading social cues, I really hate that.
I try to be as honest as I can, but there's a difference between honesty and the honesty that you can tell people.
For example, being miserable is something I try to make sure you never hear directly from me unless I am fucking dead. Think of the last time someone was really miserable every time you saw them . I bet you don't like them while they're like that, even if you tolerate that.
Also, if anyone asks you what the plan is but none has yet been laid, you decide or you follow. It's kind of that simple. If there's a complete panic, you need to be sure that everything is fine. Every problem you can think of has an eventual solution. And if it comes to just having to try something, you say the thing you think and people will do it. It helps to be confident even if you're not right, because people will do their thing to help the person who is in charge even if they don't do it when they're not.
Burukai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We now live in a world where ANY kind of honesty is veiwed as hostility. If you aren't making every attempt possible at massaging someone ego and their feelings you are considered rude. It is so strange.
I'm the same way. I've never really been good at lying, even if it's to make someone feel better. Some people seem to think I'm trying to be "edgy" but it's just not my first thought to lie. Especially if they're asking how they look. Like you, I tell the truth and hope people do the same for me.
PRMan99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My former pastor and his father-in-law got berry pie every week for 15 years because both of them assumed that the other one liked it and neither one could be honest about the fact that THEY BOTH HATED IT.
You really can be too nice and not honest enough sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Constructive criticism and diplomacy are always best.
For me, when my SO asks how she looks I automatically say good, unless it looks awful. Why? I'm not an art major, that's why. I have no clue how to dress properly.
I almost missed upvoting you because I clicked it like 5 times.
Anyway. Yes. For some fucking reason our society refuses to accept truth and wants to cry about how they are "offended" all the time. No, you make society confusing and stupid, be honest and furthermore, don't ask questions if you don't want an answer.
I'm usually honest. A coworker asked me for my personal cellphone number and I said no straight up. He wondered why and I told him to only contact me on my work phone with work matters everything else I just don't care about it may sound mean but its honest...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be completely honest when there's enough time to for he/she to do something about it. If we're on our way to the event and someone asks how they look I'm just gonna tell them they look great. There's absolutely nothing they can reasonably do about it so why not have the peace of mind that they look fine?
You can still be nice while being truthful. It's not either/or.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not be honest and nice.
WW4O ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't this be the right way to act? If I put something on, and I look fucking terrible, I don't want my friends to like to me. That's an asshole prank, not good friendship.
Speaking of which, I really hate how some people have used this idea as an excuse to just be a tactless asshole. I've seen a lot of reddit threads complaining about these kind of people who claim they're just being honest when they say their dickish remarks.
IMO, there's a middle ground between being nice (and lying) vs being a unfiltered dick. Honest, but trying to put it nicely.
You can train people to respond to this. Just be clear with them that you always answer truthfully, and if they don't want to hear your honest opinion they shouldn't ask. Also, have social skills - a compliment sandwich goes a long way.
Be honest but be nice, or tactful about it. My coworker has the honest part down, and people think he's a douche, whenever people call him out on it he says "I just say it like it is, I don't bullshit around".
I like this. There is always a way to be honest without being mean. "Do you like this dress?" "I think you wear the yellow one better." Compliment and honesty all in one!
For how does this look, I think how much time they have to change / what the situation is definitely affects it. With girlfriend/wife/etc. at the store and she's trying something on to see if she wants to buy it, let her know exactly what you think. After many hours of prep for a formal event just as you're about to go out the door - probably better to just say she looks nice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always make it very clear that my opinions are my own subjective views, and have no bearing on anything else. That said, this is a bad skirt it makes your hips look huge.
Ownejj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is actually good advice when it is a girl or guy close to you when I have ever said something truthfully to a SO they appreciate more then just generic you look lovely.
I totally agree, and I have one friend who does this and I really appreciate it, because it allows me to fix whatever problem he points out (breath, stuff on my face, whatever) but I still get just the slightest bit offended when he points the stuff out. bad brain.
I've been thinking about this the past few days. When I get hit on I wish I could just politely say "I'm sorry, I'm not interested". If I'm just chilling alone and somebody tries to start a conversation with me I wish I could just tell them that I'm enjoying my time alone. But anything like that is considered so rude and people get so offended, it drives me crazy.
We could be best friends. There are so few people with this attitude. I hate how being completely honest is now considered being an asshole. I mean, I don't go around giving my unwanted opinions to strangers, but if it's someone you're close with and they ask, I feel like anything other than honesty is just kinda disrespectful.
Yes. Never understood this. I remember in the 6th or 7th grade I spilled pear juice on my light colored blouse. I asked a friend how noticeable it was and she said its not big deal to my face. I turned around for a second and saw her signalling to someone the stain was pretty visible.. I didn't understand why she wasn't honest, I would have just changed into my gym shirt or something..
Blog_15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing worse than being baited into the "do I look bad in this?" Circlejerk. If you say they look good then they deny to all hell and won't accept your answer. On the contrary if you are straight up and tell them they look terrible they get pissed and storm off... Wut
Eh, it's just part of society to balance honesty and politeness. Many people value honesty without being constantly, brutally honest if it's hurtful or inappropriate. We all walk this line.
My husband is this way with me, and I appreciate it. I'm not one of those women who asks a question that's actually a trap. If my clothes are completely unflattering, I want to know. If the food I've made for dinner is disgusting, please tell me so I can improve upon it. When he is brutally honest with me in front of others, they are taken aback, but I really appreciate his honesty.
As much as I share your sentiments about honesty, I think it's best for people to try to adapt to and understand each other. Some people may tend to have undertones to their questions and communication will be better if that's recognized. Not everyone is going to value honesty if they just need a confidence boost.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but it must be accepted. Like if I told you that you're using a wrong color foundation for your skin, and it ends at your neck making you look like a party clown.
It's not even so much that the words themselves are such big deals, but kids repeat everything, and I don't want them repeating certain words and phrases in a place where it can get them in trouble. That's why we don't curse around our kids, and why we dig when other adults get this concept.
dcux ยท 652 points ยท Posted at 16:23:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And just don't make a big deal out of it if they do repeat something. Don't encourage it, don't laugh, just say "that's not nice" or something.
Oh, definitely. Last night we were having dinner with my parents and Hey Ya came on. My 6 year old sings along with everything, and she busted out the line "I just want to make you come-a" and my wife and I gave each other a look and kept mum.
My daughter has no idea what it meant, and we weren't going to draw attention to it. That's the hard part -- in order to teach that it's not a polite thing to say in certain situations, you have to explain what it means, and we're not there yet.
[deleted] ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 20:53:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's hilarious when they use the words in the correct context. When my daughter was 5 or 6, we were at my mom's house and asked her if she wanted to go play in the yard. She said "No.. there's dog shit everywhere".
It was a fact, and she was obviously just repeating something she heard and picked up the context of.. she had no idea it was a "bad word", though the rest of the adults in the room laughing so hard we could barely breath probably clued her in..
My 6yr old step-daughter was chasing the cat around the house the other day and all of a sudden she busts out 'come here ya little bastard!'. She didn't know what it meant but had heard it somewhere and thought it was fitting somehow .. This is coming from a child that thinks 'punk' and 'crap' are really horrible swear words.
QQpayne ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:26:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish people would get over the whole shit thing. Poop and shit are both 4 letter words with the exact same meaning, yet one is different and taboo for no realistic reason. I say fuck that, I still teach my kids the proper words to say but if I catch them using shit in proper context at home I'm not going to bitch at them about it.
issius ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:00:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the whole idea that some small subset of words are bad to say is fucking stupid. Who decided that anyway? It doesn't make any sense. You can say "oh crap", or "dangit" and they're fine, even though they are a direct substitute of the bad version. They have the same affect and everyone knowa you would have said the bad word if it wasn't deemed inappropriate.
Eh, I dunno. Just seems incredibly arbitrary and silly to me.
We had to stay at a hotel out of town for a wedding. Four year old daughter was the flower girl. On the day of the wedding I'm getting her ready and she's as pretty as a princess. Like out of a story book adorable.
And she proceeds to tell everyone that last night we trashed the hotel and got drunk off the mini bar. And then she launched into the chorus of "Fancy" and there were a few chuckles. Mostly people wanted to know who let her listen to such music. That would be me. Me. I did that. You should see her rendition of "Wrecking Ball" it's quite on point.
Good on you. I don't do that kid music shit either. My kid listens to my music. I am a little selective though: Clash, Smiths. Not so much Ministry and Coheed.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol. We DO listen to some Disney songs... which may or may not have been on a few play lists before I even had kids... but a lot of Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.
Unfortunately my four year old has all of a sudden gotten mad with Taylor Swift. I'm not sure what rift in her universe has occurred, but it has something to do with her Style song. My daughter is perceptive. She doesn't like how the guy in the song says he's been with other girls. I don't think she understands this. I think she believes the boy in the song had made other friends and hasn't been playing with Taylor. But that song comes on and she yells to turn it off because she doesn't want to hear about that bad guy.
We'd toyed with the idea of trying to get tickets to see TS for her 5th birthday. Probably not going to happen now. I can just imagine her blood curdling screams in the stadium when that song starts. Lol.
Oh, man, this makes me think of when I was little and the Spice Girls were HUGE. My cousins and my friends and I would belt out the lyrics on public... definitely appropriate for 5-8 year old girls to sing :p
My son started just yelling "I'm bringing sexy back! I'm bringing sexy back!" over and over in front of my husbands nun auntie. He was 3. It was funny. At first.
My mother and father would take care of my neighbor's kid. One day, the little girl was upset because she wasn't getting her way. My mother said something to he about how she couldn't always get what she wanted.
The little girl replied "You'll piss me off and I'll go home!"
My dad just turned around and walked to our basement and laughed for a good few minutes while my mom explained that she shouldn't be saying that.
Ahh the old, ignore it and [please god] it will go away. It actually works. I recall driving with my 2 year old in the backseat while my wife and I were driving. Out of nowhere he yells, "Fuck!" My wife and I look at each other confused, and whisper, "did he just say that? Ignore it." To which he goes on a tourette syndrome tirade, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck!" At this point my wife and I are in tears holding back our laughter in the front seat. I know its wrong in a sense, but there is something intrinsically hysterical about a 2 year old swearing like a sailor. Three miles down the road it inexplicably stops as quickly as it started, and we've never heard him say it since (he's 6 now).
When my son was about 4 or so, he was doing something over and over and over and it got so annoying I finally said "Just stop it, god-damnit!". He look confused, then turned to me "Daddy, my name is [InsertName], not God-namit!". Trying hard not to laugh I just said "ohh, right, sorry, forgot".
Dated a single mother once. She had a little 4 year old that would downright chew me out if I said the word "stupid". Her mom actually taught her that stupid was a very bad word, because realistically speaking it's often far more hurtful to others than cuss words.
I think it would be more effective to teach kids about professional settings and why they shouldn't say certain things at certain times. Of course, that's above a 3 year old's comprehension, but at later ages, maybe it would work.
My 3 year old is definitely more likely to parrot than my 6 year old. We've explained to her that certain words are not appropriate for certain situations (not just swear words -- we've told her it's not appropriate to talk about bathroom stuff at the dinner table, for instance).
I feel like that's getting very close to the Danger Zone. Because then you're making it a special thing that they will first of all remember (they might otherwise not) and then of course they'll know it's a naughty word and if there's one thing kids like, it's being naughty.
My daughters have both gotten very interested in swear words recently (I blame you, InterWebs!), and will often ask me 'is this word worse or better than this word?' I try to answer honestly, and tell them what sort of scenarios it's appropriate to use it (never around authority figures, only with close friends, etc). They're going to hear and use swear words anyway, so I'll try to save them accidentally doing so in a way that impacts them negatively
similar situation, my group of friends were in Colorado mini golfing. behind us were some younger teens 13-15 cursing ridiculously and then behind them a little boy and his mother. they left halfway through the golf course because the mom was tired of it.
one of my friends went up to the group and told them off for it. haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may have been singing the acoustic version of Get Low behind you. If it was me, I'm really sorry, I definitely try to avoid swearing around kids, but sometimes I get caught up in the situation. I swear too much in general, too.
dcux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALL LIGHTS IN ROOM GO DARK
/u/YOUR_FACE1 IS FORCEFULLY SEATED IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE METAL CHAIR, IN TOTAL DARKNESS
A BRIGHT SPOTLIGHT IS SWITCHED ON IN /u/YOUR_FACE1's FACE
dcux: Where were you on the night of July 4, 2015?!
I'm not so sure, when my nieces see a boob on TV I jump to the remote and switch it off and give them the lecture on how disgusting and vile the female body is and how it should never be seen. They're gonna turn out great!
Popcom ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get this logic. Kids can and do learn that there's things they're not allowed to do that adults can. All my kids know what a beer can looks like, they all know that I can drink it and they cant. There's no confusion there, no gray area. Just like swearing, they know that I can say this or that while they cant.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:28:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly my son's relationship with swear words (he's five). He knows every swear word in the book and I don't censor myself much around him unless we're in public. But he has always just known better than to swear, ever. What do people think, they're going to be able to act like curse words, drugs, alcohol, ect. just don't exist? Kids are going to find out about every naughty thing out there, you might as well just teach them right vs wrong behavior for their age.
This was my dad. He swears like a sailor, but my sister and I never cursed at home. It probably wasn't until my sister and I had been out of the house for a few years before we started cursing around our parents. None of us think anything of it now.
Kids are going to hear theses words anywhere they go, no matter how hard the parents try. You can't stop people randomly waking past you at the store or sitting at the next table from taking however they want. Better they learn early what they can and cannot say!
I swear like a sailor, and have never censored myself in front of my daughter. Yup, when she was super little, she repeated a word or two. We explained to her that some words are "grown-up words" (not bad, if it's bad, then why does Mommy say it?!), and not for use by kids. She was told that while I won't get mad at her if she slips, she is still not allowed to use them. If she has a question about what she can or can't say, she'll whisper in my ear to ask. "Mommy, am I allowed to say fuck it?" She's 7 now. She's had a slip or two; she immediately looks mortified, we calmly correct her and move on. She's never once intentionally swore, unlike a lot of other kids her age I know!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! My son also asks sometimes if some words are ok to use or not. When I was younger my dad practically encouraged and definitely did not curb my cursing and I used to get in a lot of trouble for it at school
My son is two. He took a fall a few months ago and I thought he was hurt so I yelled out, "Shit!" as he hit the ground. He was fine but he heard me say "shit!" and thought it was great. Started yelling "shit!" every time he fell or dropped something or sometimes just for fun!
It's not THAT big a deal, right? Perhaps not but then he went to daycare and started saying it there. We got a phone call from his teacher and had to have a conversation about it. My kid at two years old was already the bad kid that could mess everyone else's kids up.
And you need to read the reply to your comment about how you can't censor the world, so the better course of action is to teach your kids what is and isn't allowed. They are perfectly capable of understanding the concept and following your rules unless you raised a spoiled/undisciplined child
Kids need help understanding things. There's nothing worse than an arbitrary rule for a kid. My kids know that drinks with alcohol are not for kids. It's a choice they can make when they get older. They get that.
How do you explain why a word is considered profane -- without explaining what the word means? It's our choice to equip our kids with sex education at a time we feel is right. It's coming up fast enough without needing to call an audible because they want to know what f--- means (funny I feel the need to censor myself here, but I can't help it).
All we ask is that people respect the fact that we're trying our best as parents to give our kids a full and complete childhood, and in return we will do our best to send well-intentioned, polite, considerate people out into the world.
You could (should?) explain what the word means in context. If somebody says "shit" when they break something/hurt themself/etc then you don't say "well shit means poop" you say "adults will sometimes say 'shit' when they're startled or upset, but a lot of people think it's a bad word so if they hear you use it they'll think you're a bad guy. So do not use it, okay? If you slip up I won't be mad but do not use it on purpose."
There's a story floating around my family of a distant cousin's wedding. The various family gatherings in the days before were the first time that an older uncle with a rather rude sense of humour had seen his young nephew, and he had him propped up on his knee, going "go on, say bugger. Bugger, bugger, bugger, say bugger" for most of the evening, to no avail.
The next day, it's time for the wedding. At the always slightly too long, awkward silence after the priest asks if anyone has any objections, there's a shout which gets steadily louder as the kid runs up the aisle, and then quieter as he's whisked away and out of the church by his mother.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a little boy in Target screaming "shitty booty! shitty booty!" over and over and over and then another kid heard him saying it and picked it up and they screamed it back and forth for like 5 minutes. I felt awful for the parents haha
ATCaver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just wish my other post-high school friends would understand this.
Great example: the other night our little group was hanging at IHOP around midnight like we always do on Saturday night. We get loud and rambunctious but always sit in the same section with the same waiter so we don't generally disturb anybody, since his section is in the very back.
Saturday night, however, a family was sitting a couple tables away from our regular booth. Two kids, a boy around 7 or 8 and a girl around 4 or 5.
My friend Blake was talking about something somebody said at work and just starts going of the rails with F-bombs and JESUS CHRISTs and all that.
I and our other friend Hunter both told him to chill out, there are a couple little kids right over there.
He comes back with "I don't give a fuck. I'll say what I want!"
But he did tone it down after that.
Later, as we were leaving, I went back to give our waiter a tip after I paid. The family was still there. The father stopped me after I finished talking to Sammy and thanked me for trying to calm Blake down and being mindful of his kids.
Being around children makes me so hyper aware of how much I swear. I only ever notice when I'm half way through the word then I look around for the looks feeling very guilty. But now I like in Denmark none of the children speak English and no one is ever offended if you swear in English.
Not a parent, but sort of how I feel. Before I moved recently, a group of us were playing Magic the Gathering at a comic shop, and people were dropping F-bombs left and right while this family of five, with the oldest child being maybe 7, was browsing the shelves nearby. I asked everyone to tone it down, "Why the fuck should we?" "Because there are kids nearby." Everyone was on their most polite behavior until the kids left (except one guy, who can't understand why his 3 year old says "shit" and "asshole" all the time), because it was sort of just an understood thing to not expose kids to it.
snorlz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:20:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can i ask why its such a big deal if your kids curse? you know they will learn everything by the time they are like 9 or even before anyways and will be cursing for the rest of their lives probably. whats the big deal?
They'll spread it to other kids who will use it in front of their parents who will get pissed about it. It doesn't follow your logic but you still wouldn't want an angry parent hunting you down.
Ill accidentally swear in front of kids in public then immediately tell the kid after i realise what i did "woops, hey kid, dont swear, its bad"
had to get used to that since i have young nephews and nieces.
Eruanno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not always cursing either.
Me and some friends set up a small tabletop booth at a convention a few years back, and we served some different tea blends that were free for anyone who passed by. We labelled them with different things just for fun, one was "Mr. Stabby's stabbity-stab tea - the tea that stabs you" with a picture of a stickman with a knife. Another one was "Hypnotoad Tea" with a picture of Hypnotoad from Futurama and we'd jokingly say "All hail Hypnotoad!" as we took some of the tea. Cue this 9 year old boy who heard us and started running around in circles at the convention shouting "ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD, ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD, ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD, ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD" for like three hours at the top of his voice.
We were seriously considering strangling the damn kid. His poor father was around too and he told his kid to settle down several times but five minutes later he'd be back again, "ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD!"
Siiiiighh.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I may have dropped an F-bomb in front of someone's kids at Red Robin a few weeks ago. Whoops.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question for you: I have a pretty offensive vocabulary and catch myself swearing in public or around children much more often than I would care to admit. My question is how big of a deal is this for the average parent (on a scale of 1 to 9/11) and how do I appropriately pass on an apology to you without making a bigger deal out of it than it is?
Good question. 3, maybe? You're not doing irreparable damage to my children by just saying words, just putting us as parents in a difficult situation.
I'd be happy if someone realized they did it and quietly caught themselves and maybe mouthed the word "Sorry". There's not much I can or would do if you didn't do that, but you'd earn my respect if you did.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! That's pretty much my usual course of action. I'm not intentionally offensive, I just don't spend much time around children and sometimes forget to check the volume setting of my voice!
Bar or restaurant with a bar? Huge difference. I don't take my kids to places/situations that are adult-oriented, but if it's something like a Chili's where the main idea is family eating, it's not too much to ask people at the bar to not scream profanities at the top of their lungs. We'll stay in the eating section and never in the bar, out of respect. We just ask the same.
This is actually a disagreement I have with a lot of other parents (including my spouse)--kids need to know what not to repeat. Yes, they may say it a time or two, get in trouble and then learn there are things not to say.
I've got 3 kids: 6, 4, and 1. There are words they're not allowed to say under any circumstances (I don't think we need to go over those) and then words that are OK around mommy and daddy but should not be said at school/etc. (crap, stupid, etc.).
All things in due time. My kids are so subjected to new information on a constant basis that we pick and choose when to tackle new stuff. My goal is to always avoid being hypocritical or arbitrary with my kids, so the lessons I pass on help them make good choices moving forward. If I could I'd get it all done in a weekend and then we can just go do fun stuff as a family, but it doesn't seem to work that way. Pending.
I don't want them repeating certain words and phrases in a place where it can get them in trouble
This. Although I'd love to live in a world where people didn't get in trouble for saying "bad words"... I'm grateful that I can introduce my kids to swear words when they're ready to understand the concept that there's a time and place to swear, and a time and place not to.
I intentionally save certain words for when they'll have maximum impact. People close to me know if I throw out an f-bomb, things just got serious. Or hilarious. Either way, words lose their meaning the more they're repeated, but if you choose them wisely, they have the ability to knock down walls.
I do the same thing out of respect to parents, and maybe it doesn't bother you, but this is what really bothers me about the whole concept:
I don't want them repeating certain words and phrases in a place where it can get them in trouble.
The only power these words have are what we allow them to have as a society. They are meaningless. You have people that seemingly don't know how to talk without them, but if we stripped them of their power, that wouldn't be the case. We need to just chill with that whole concept.
Do I think a little kid should be in trouble for saying a specific word in a place where it's frowned upon? Of course not. But I don't make all the rules. I wish everyone would subscribe to my way of thinking, but in lieu of that, it's my job as a parent to help my kids avoid negative situations by, among other things, setting a good example.
Hey, I agree with you, I wasn't trying to insult you or the way you do things at all, it was just society, or whoever made that stupid "rule". I really wish that the whole "bad words" stigma would just disappear.
To reference Whoopi Goldberg (not a real authority on anything, I know), there are far worse words than "fuck". You can tell someone they look really fucking nice, but there is no nice way to use the word stupid.
And to be honest, People need to get the stick out of their ass if they think they have the right to not be offended by someone else.
I don't get his concept. I'm not saying you're wrong -- lots of people say the same sort of thing, so I'm probably the weird one -- but it's never made any sense to me. I don't understand how you can both believe the words aren't magic and believe that those words will "get them in trouble". Doesn't the trouble only come from believing that the words are magic in the first place? In social settings someone might not like what your kids say, but that's hardly limited to a set of specific bad words, and there isn't anything fundamentally different about the way that young people swear compared to older people, so I don't understand why a particular set of words is of such specific concern.
To me this whole things feels like teaching children they can't run out in front of a Ford instead of teaching them not to run into traffic in general, and it has always left me baffled.
Here's the difference... My kids won't be in trouble with me if they curse at age 6 and below. They likely don't know what any of these words mean.
HOWEVER, not everyone shares my liberal attitude about it. My kids may very well be in trouble for saying these words in certain places and/or in front of specific people. The only guarantee against the vagaries of different people's sensitivities towards swear words is to avoid them entirely.
Yes. A lot of people don't understand that kids just should not be hearing every single thing adults say. It's not just bad words. Certain jokes they wouldn't understand, for example, or when someone is being ironic or sarcastic.
I'm a reading tutor in an elementary school. With the kindergartners I see, we practice letter sounds using these little cards with one letter each so we can mix them up and only practice certain letters. One girl last year liked to put our cards in 2 groups of three and see if they made a word. Whether it actually made a word or just a nonsense word, she would blend the sounds together to make the "word" (which is a great practice for learning to read). Well one day she had F K X. Out of all the possible ways she could have pronounced it, she said "fucks!" When she comes to a pretend word that she likes the sound of, she'll repeat it over and over and over. So there I was, sitting in the school library with a kindergartner who's muttering "fucks, fucks, fucks, fucks, fucks" and trying not to react. If I just went along and pretended it was a nonsense word she'd forget it in a couple minutes, but if I pointed out that "fucks" is a bad word I would have to explain why and she would try extra hard to remember it.
When my niece was three my mom burned her self and yelled crap. She immediately started running around the house shouting crap over and over. It was adorable.
Ozz87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If society collectively decided to "unswear" bad words could that work? Aren't swear words only bad because we say they are and react off of that? Is "I didn't find shit" worse than "I didn't find anything" if no one reacts negatively to it?
I try to hide my cig/beer and cursing when I'm around kids, naturally I walk through parks for shorter distances.
egus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter told me that she knows all the bad words now because she has heard me say them all. Felt halfway bad about that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you teach them the words and explain their meaning and let them decide for themselves? Otherwise they'll hear the words from other kids and use them and get in trouble. This way when they hear the words, they will know what they are and what the mean and won't be so keen to use them (of course if they're 4, don't teach them yet, I'm thinking around 8)
I've tried explaining my view in responses to other comments besides this one, but this analogy popped into my head:
Let's say you're on a first date with someone you're really, really attracted to. You don't know each other well at all, and of course you're both trying to put your best feet forward and make the best impression so there will be a second date and beyond.
Now let's assume you have an incredibly embarrassing habit that you don't share with everyone. In fact, I'm the only one you feel confident in sharing this with, and hope someday to find a significant other with whom you can feel comfortable enough to reveal this habit. That kind of trust doesn't happen overnight, so there's no possible way you'd ever let this information out on a third date, much less a first.
Now imagine I show up randomly at the restaurant where you're having your first date. After some minor chit chat with you and your date, I casually allude to your embarrassing habit by using the term "shuckducking". Your date clearly heard something, but doesn't understand the full meaning of what I've implied. They know something's up, though, because it immediately causes you to become uncomfortable.
Have I said something wrong? It's a meaningless term to the person you're with, after all. I can assume that at some point they will learn this term so they may as well hear it now and hear it from me. And if your date goes on and tells a hundred other people the same thing, well, that's just how things go.
The problem now is that you have two choices: either you ignore the elephant in the room and hope that your date doesn't say "shuckducking" to the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, or you open up to your date and provide information about a sensitive subject way before you were prepared to do so -- because it's the only way to fully explain to your date why they can't go around saying "shuckducking" wherever and whenever they want.
That's the problem with swearing around kids. The words are irrelevant. The grief it can cause for parents is what you're helping to avoid when you keep it clean around kids.
They're just words, who fucking gives a shit. So I see some five year old say "fucking shit christ balls".. . Whatever, ignore it and move along, just as I would if an adult said it.
When my son was 2 I was on skype with my mom (she is very conservative). I realized my son was talking to himself and quickly started talking loudly so she wouldn't hear him saying 'and we don't say shit...and we don't say fuck...'
Parent here, too, and I'm on the opposite side of this thinking. I don't want people to censor their language for my kids. They're going to hear curse words on TV, in movies, in public, and it's my job to teach them that in our family and when we're in public, WE don't say those words.
I've seen people give their friends a hard time for swearing around children, when it was an honest accident and they didn't realize kids were in the area. I don't want anyone being chastised for an honest mistake, and hearing the word "fuck" isn't going to damage them in any way.
You'd be amazed. Some people think they're the only ones who matter and that their actions can't be criticized or have negative consequences for the world at large.
Source: Garbage on the side of every road in America.
When I go to sporting events I always do a Child Check, no kids three rows in front or behind me, no kids within five people on either side, you bet I'm gonna yell and scream curse words.
You can swear around my kids, it doesn't bother me or them. They've ridden in the car with me driving, so if swearing in front of my kids bothered me I shot that horse in the face years ago.
Swearing while driving is one of the most important things to learn when you first have your license. Those assholes going 38 in a 45 need to hear it from someone.
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a proud day when I got cut off by some jackass and I actually managed to keep my mouth shut instead of going off like I usually do only to hear from the back seat "Wow. That guy was a dick, huh mom?"
I don't tailgate anyone ever. I HATE tailgaters, being tailgated leads me to yelling obscenities and wishing the dipshit could hear me (and since they're so close, maybe they can!). I don't brake check them either, I just slow down gradually, if I'm going to be rammed I'd MUCH rather it be at 40 mph than 80+. Usually once I'm going 10 under the fucking moron finally gives up on riding my ass and goes around or backs off.
I grew up in a construction family, working on construction crews. My parents taught me when its ok and when it's not; I've passed this on to my kids. I know I can't censor everything they hear, but as long as they understand when not to use those words, we have more important things to worry about.
They know not to swear at school, and they really don't use bad language at all generally speaking (my 10yo still asks me if crap is a bad word). I have other things I'd rather worry about.
Although on the school note I have told them if someone is bugging you and you've asked firmly but politely for them to stop and they don't you're more than welcome to tell the kid in whatever colorful terms you choose that off is the direction in which they should fuck. My oldest is going into 7th grade, anyone that says their middle schooler hasn't heard swear words (or used them themselves) is a liar.
Someone has to keep flicking off those passing-lane puttputters
Synux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're not cussing at my kids I don't care if you're foul-mouthed around them. I've told them repeatedly, "Not everything I do is worthy of mimicry." and the same holds true for everyone else. Go ahead and show my kids your weaknesses and I'll try to be a good parent and help my kids put it in perspective.
I don't feel like I should be personally responsible for censoring my language around children that aren't mine. I won't curse them out because I'm a decent human being, but it's not my job to act like someone else just because your children can't handle it.
while in line to snag chick fil a today, some high school kid was swearing belligerently behind me to I guess impress the girl he was with. i didn't say anything but I wish I would've just didn't want to cause a scene
My brother (6'2" 210lb U.S. marine covered in tattoos) and I (6'0" 180lb human bean) had finished working out, and were on our way out of the gym. An early-30s mother and her small daughter, probably a 4 or 5 year old, were walking out right in front of us.
I looked to brother and said, "That was a good workout, I'm going to be sore as schnitzel tomorrow". He looked at me and said, "Dude you need to shut the front door". I replied, "Why don't you go fund yourself you piece of shrapnel". He was about to call me a "son of a bit-rate processor" when the lady turned around with a look of playful scorn on her face and said "Thanks" for watching our language around her daughter. The tiny human learned no naughty words that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you think about it though, this is obscure. We can make a very specific subset of noises with our mouths, providing we are not within hearing distance of other people, under a certain age.
Almost all social conventions are obscure/arbitrary if you simplify them like that, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. But I find it weird than in such a wanna-be progressive society, even people who are otherwise all about educating children about sex etc, seem to get offended about the idea of swearing in front of children. Is that because we want to preserve the power the swear words have for our own use?
My oldest knows swear words. I'd much rather her hear them from me and understand she can't use them in specific social settings than to hear them and misuse them at poor times.
People really need to take the sticks out of their asses when it comes to curse words. They work beautifully in many situations and they do, quite literally, zero harm.
Anyone who shops there deserves their children to start spouting vulgarities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Out of respect huh?
"I hear you are building blocks at at second grade level, little Johnny. That's fucking amazing!..Oh I am so sorry, sir"
"Iz all wight"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something. This one time I went to dunking donuts with my two friends(1guy and 1 girl) anyways when we got there we were the only ones and so we're having a weird conversation.anyways my friend was on her phone and was trying to hook up my other friend with a girl and the conversation led to sucking Dick and she said "please if a girl says she doesn't suck Dick, she's obviously lying" and she started talking for about another minute or so. After she's done talking I say "so, do you suck Dick?" pretty loud and she just gives me a sort of horrifying look and I turn around. Turns out there was a old man with his son or something that had walked into dunking donuts and he heard me ask the question and was just shaking his head and shame.I kinds tried shaking it off. Anyways that's why I don't say anything dirty/offensive in public.
Edit: word
I get highly irate when people swear around kids. I don't have kids or anything but for some reason it just seems like it takes a real piece of shit dirtbag to start spouting off "fuck"s when there are children around.
Same way. If I'm out with people, that's usually the cue that there are kids around. "...Pancakes isn't swearing? Whats the deal? Oh shit, there's a kid around isn't there?" which usually ends with me pointing in the direction of the child.
Adults can suck eggs, if they fail to understand swear words are perfect words that everyone is able to easily understand now, that's their problem. Kids? Fuck it, parents have enough issues with kids they don't need them walking around going "That lady that cut you off is a fucking cunt. Where'd that bitch learn to drive?" because they overheard me complaining about some cunt on the freeway over dinner.
I met my nephew (newly acquired via marriage, 5 yr old boy) for the first time a few months ago, first sentence out of my mouth had a f-bomb. oops. I mentally told myself to stop swearing, unfortunately my mouth does not listen to my brain and whenever I let a swear slip out I would curse more "fuck, I shouldn't say shit." :doh:
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends try to self-censor around my daughter and I always laugh because it's totally not necessary (and they know it by now). My daughter is in the car with me on a regular basis. As such, she has already heard every swear word known to man and a few that haven't made it in to the general lexicon of society (yet).
I just taught her to keep the swearing to herself and at home; not at school. If anything because I don't want to have that conversation with her teacher.
tjbay12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have caught myself mid swear before around children and tried to correct myself. Children and family are the only people I don't swear around (outside of a professional setting)
Agreed. I was at my dance competition this weekend observing other groups performing. I easily overheard heard a loud man maybe in his mid 20's saying "fuck" and "fucking" repeatedly not caring there there were two young children in the row behind him. The parents of the children seemed bothered, but did not want to speak up, as his topic of conversation was how easily he could knock someone out cold. If I were the parent, I would have spoke up. That is SO rude to me. I am have a "potty mouth" according to everyone I know, so I don't mind. But damn, time and place man.
I was having drinks in a bar with an ex-co-worker who had recently quit the company we were working for. Needless to say, lots of shit-talking and general angry yelling about the state of the company, the people in charge, etc etc...
This guy was sitting near us yells right at me "HEY DO YOU MIND NOT CURSING IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER?!" I look over and there's a little girl, maybe 8 years old...
Maybe don't bring your fucking daughter to a bar? Ever think of that?
ickmol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come give 'Straya a chance.
WW4O ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, there's a difference between being polite around children because they might not know what words mean and might repeat them, and catering to a fully grown adult that can't handle the word "fuck."
Feel free to share your shitty experience over at /r/FuckBestBuy!
I bought an Asus gaming laptop in February of 2014. The employee asked if I wanted to buy the warranty, and said it covers ANYTHING except submersion in fluids. I said sure, why not. Fast forward to a few months ago. I'm at my house playing a game and I get a call from my father in law saying that my wife has been in an accident. He got a call from the police, and all that could tell him was that she was on her way to the local hospital. I grab my computer and run out the door. I realize I left my keys inside. Set my computer on my car, run back inside to get my keys, and jump in my car. I live next to the loop, so I turn on to it. A few seconds later I see something fly off the back of my car. FUCK. Pull over, grab it off the side of the road (it's destroyed of course) and get to the hospital. Luckily she only has a broken leg.
Next day I go to best buy and tell the customer service person what happened. She sends me to geek squad where they tell me it's not covered. Talk to manager, he refuses. Also refuses to put me into contact with the district manager. He says that since I have no way to prove what the employee told me about the warranty I'm shit out of luck.
Call a few stores and ask the computer employees if it would be covered. A couple say yes, get transferred to the manager, he denies they said that and that they are telling him they didn't say that. Fucking wow.
Call corporate, they tell me nobody would say it is covered. I give them the employee's ID number from the receipt, and they refuse to look it up so we can ask them what they said the warranty covers. She refuses to give me the district managers contact info. I ask to speak to her manager, and after 30 minutes on hold I hung up because I had to pick up my daughter. Tried again later and had an hour wait time both times. I've filed a complaint with the BBB with no response.
I've also contacted stores and I tell them what happened to my laptop, but I say i didn't have the insurance on it and they tell me that would be covered 100% had I had the warranty. Then tell them I did have the warranty and they immediately say they are going to grab a manager then deny ever saying that.
I spend $1,500-$2,000 a year at best buy and never buy large purchases off Amazon because I want to be able to walk in and get my problem solved. Since that now has no benefit, fuck it. I'll just put my Amazon prime to work.
A lot of people say its a warranty and not insurance when I post this and that Best Buy doesn't claim it covers accidental damage, so here is an image from their site about the warranty:
Update: a couple of weeks ago I emailed the CEO my experience and a member of the "Best Buy Executive Resolution Team" contacted me and told me they would not be upholding the warranty.
That would be considered excessive damage. If it were a drop from a table, that would be covered, but you said it was destroyed. Just like their cell phone plans cover cracks and drops, but they don't cover drops from elevated heights or bent frames (hard to bend a frame from a normal height). Sucks that they kinda baited and switched you man, but you gotta read the warranty itself. Likely it says something along the lines of "does not cover excessive damage".
I once swore on an elevator that went from the airport to the auto garage complaining to my sister who picked me up how "fucking" terrible my flight was. Only then did I realize that there was a family with a small kid in there too. I looked at the kid, then at the parents and said "Oops, I'm sorry". They laughed. The kid was dumbfounded though.
Yeah I'm a bad person, I swear around kids all the time. I feel I shouldn't have to censor myself just because your kids are around. It's just a word. If I say "fuck" out of frustration, I see nothing morally wrong with that nor will I punish my own kids for doing so as well.
As a parent, I really appreciate this kind of attitude. I honestly don't care if my kid hears random swearing, and honestly I swear in front of her at home more often than I should. But hearing another adult in a public setting catch themselves or apologize for it helps reinforce the idea that swearing is not always appropriate, and it shows to me that you're a generally respectful person. So thanks for that. Little things like that really do make parenting easier.
Yeah I just realized curse words are kinda dumb. Like why can't kids just say them? It doesn't matter... Obviously you don't want to curse around kids out of respect for the parents but why should the parents care??
Domriso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I purposefully don't try to censor my speak, because I think that its ridiculous that there are "swear words." I continually use curse words until they just roll off my tongue like its a normal part of speech. I've started to sound like an Australian. Or, at least, an Australian according to reddit.
Hubley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about when you're in a best buy?
ParaBDL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing is a good social stigma. I moved to Australia from the Netherlands a few years ago and English swear words have way less of a stigma for me than Dutch swear words. So I sometimes let swear words slip in front of my partner's nephews and nieces purely as I don't see them as bad words in the same way English natives do. They know I don't mean to swear, so they don't make a big deal of it so the kids don't notice they are bad words to say.
when I'm with my friends in the car and we are driving through a neighborhood with the windows down and explicit music playing, my friends always get angry or weirded out when I turn down the music around a park or when I see a parent with kids. I just think that you can do whatever you want with your kids, but definitely respect the fact that other people's kids might not be exposed to things like that so keep it to yourself.
As a parent, I don't care at all. People can swear in front of my son. He knows that's just how some people talk. He'll survive. I actually think it's good for him.
I go by the kid's age. Around toddlers, sure, no cussing. Maybe up to 12 or 13 or so. After that, any parent who thinks their kid hasn't already heard every swear in the language on the street or school yard is living in a fantasy world.
siscily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read his comment as sweating instead of swearing and was so confused for a second.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a place like chipotle and I asked this 15 year old kid if his food was for here or to go, I was also having a conversation with one of my coworkers at the same time and it didn't "click" with me that he said for here. So I went to double check and the kid was like "yea haha it's no big deal, I forget shit all the time where I work, fuck that place lol". It really caught me off guard, but it was pretty hilarious how comfortable he was swearing in a restaurant with tons of adults in line around him.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:09:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent, I too respect this. It is hard enough raising a well behaved child, that any outside respect/self control is greatly appreciated.
Crogdor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird to me that we try to insulate kids from swearing, yet we do it ourselves. If it's wrong why don't we stop swearing and set an example? If it's not wrong, why insulate the kids - they're just going to pick it up anyway.
I deeply appreciate this. If those little fuckers hear anything once, then they'll repeat it for months. Not a problem in itself, but then I'm fielding questions from their bitch teacher for weeks even though I tell her talk to our goddamn nanny, because I don't give a shit.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I hate parents that don't filter them selves around kids. Let them be kids, don't make sex pun on the things they say.
If I have kids, rather than heckle other adults to be a good example to them, I'll just tell my kids which adults I think are setting a good example for them, and which are not.
Excellent. I can't seem to convince people of this concept.
A friend constantly approaches strangers and asks them not to cuss around his kids. I've tried telling him that his actions are equally rude and he should instead take the opportunity to have a teaching moment with his child.
Since it teaches them that some adults behave incorrectly, my approach is incompatible with the age-old parenting paradigm that kids should respect adults just because they are adults. That's still a really important value to some people. He's probably just trying to raise respectful children the way he knows.
Another valid point. I was raised to respect everyone, but if they chose not to respect me (or disrespected me) that I could make a decision to withdraw that courtesy (but not to disrespect them).
I realize that seems very complicated for a child so I'll accompany it with a short story.
I had a teacher who, if you needed something from him (extra time on a paper, a bathroom break, pretty much anything), would ask you "Who's your daddy?" Now this is circa 2001 and that phrase was extremely popular, but from a teacher I thought it was wildly inappropriate and I would never humor him. I started out by saying "lol, not you". But he would start denying all my requests. So I just started walking out of class to go to my locker or whatever the case may have been.
He got irate at my insubordination. I told him I didn't respect him and refused to recognize his authority because he was immature. If he wanted to send me to the office he could and we all sit down with the admins and discuss why he wanted me to call him "daddy".
We came to a tense agreement. I didn't usurp his authority in front of other students and he didn't single me out in class.
So my concepts of respect, the giving and taking, and who gets it are likely very different from my friend. I hadn't considered that aspect prior. Thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since that "value" makes children more vulnerable to being victimized by adults, I'd say it's a positive step to confront that notion.
My mum did this and it properly taught me not to swear. I don't swear much IRL now that I'm 15 (which isn't common among my friends). I do swear online/texting though.
If I'm in Wal-mart and I answer the phone in the checkout line and say "Hey Tom, how the hell have you been? It's been awhile", and some stranger approaches me to lecture me on how they have a child with them. I'm not going to take them seriously.
Am I being rude? Perhaps. But it's not overt, its not directed at anyone, and its not in anger. It's a much better teaching moment for a parent to a child than it is a parent to an adult. If anything the parent draws more attention to it than it would otherwise receive.
I'm not talking about some cussing rant or anything. Dropping F-bombs in public is obviously a little more egregious.
You didn't see my other reply where I addressed just that. Everyone has a different level of tolerance for these things. 95% of people aren't going to care if an adult stranger says "hell" in the proximity of their child. However, I was walking through the grocery store the other afternoon without my son, which is rare, hearing a couple casually throwing "fuck" around in their conversation. That's inconsiderate.
I will say this though. I refrain from using "fuck" as much as i can but if i slip and someone comes up, interrupts my conversation, and is condescending and has a parental tone. I'll apologize, but I'll ask them if they'd like to be a parent to me or their own child.
If they lean down, tell the kid I'm the devil and I'm a horrible human being. I honestly wouldn't say anything. If that's how they choose to parent.
If they can manage to get my attention, let me know its bothering them without being condescending, glaring at me, or trying to be my parent. I'll be much more receptive to it. That's rarely the case when I see my friend do it or when I see it done to, or by, others.
They take offense to it and pick up their cross/pitchfork and go off to set that person straight and I just think that's the wrong way to approach it. I think it sets the wrong example for the child and only escalates matters.
That person is still inconsiderate and an ass, but there's no reason to stoop down to that level. Kill it with kindness so to speak.
Been swearing since the 2nd grade essentially. Parents just taught me not to use "bad" words in school. Never once got in trouble for swearing and as far as teachers were considered I was a saint.
Teaching your kid not to use certain words shouldn't be hard as it made out to be. And getting mad at someone because your kid overheard them say a bad word and they start repeating it is hilarious. The little kid clearly has no idea what hes saying so anyone getting offended by a little kid repeating a word he has no idea what it means need to unrustle their jimmies.
Ok, but people have varying degrees of what they consider acceptable language. It's just being a polite human being to not assume where the boundary is with other people's kids.
My father has been using shit and damn and hell in front of my son for 4 years. My son miraculously hasn't picked up on any of it. Occasionally he remembers his audience, but more often than not doesn't. But if someone I didn't know started dropping fuck or cunt in front of my son? I use those words on my own time, but you can bet I'd be talking to you about it.
They'll do that anyway once they start swearing, because they won't know better because nobody will have told them. If you tell kids "never ever swear", then once they realize everyone swears sometimes they'll have no filter on it at all until they figure things out for themselves. People who grow up not swearing cuss like sailors when they start. It's deliberately teaching them the wrong lesson. If you tell them "don't worry about swearing, worry about who you're swearing in front of and where you are", then you can hold them to a consistent standard as they grow up. I don't think the idea that different standards of behavior are appropriate in different circumstances is too complex of an issue even for very young children, and it's one that needs to be taught early anyway because there are countless behaviors that are acceptable at home but not at school.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
titsuckers
FTFY.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because parents can be fucking insane and bitch you out for saying something in front of their little brat who then repeats it in his kindergarten class or some shit. Although having a real life Eric Cartman sounds like a dream.
And if parents actually had communication with their kids, they could tell them that. Words are just words. Kids are going to hear them, whether it's on the street or a video game or a tv show/movie. Plugging your ears and pretending that they don't exist does nothing beneficial for kids. Just fucking talk to your damn kids.
MikeSV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that parents will tell their kids not to say certain words but then they will hear the parents use that language. It's confusing to a kid. Also, kids don't understand context very well and have a hard time understanding when things are appropriate or not.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with that is that it's not a stranger's responsibility to make a kid's parents "right" by avoiding swearing.
It's a parent's responsibility to make their kids understand that those words shouldn't be said even if they hear others say it.
Now don't get me wrong, I avoid swearing in front of my friends' kids out of respect because they've directly asked me to, but being expected to not curse in public is outrageous. Curse words are part of my lexicon. I'm not about to start watching what I say in front of every child I see.
Like the other guy said, it's not my responsibility to make sure your kids don't say those words. I never go out of my way to curse in front of kids, but in public it slips out sometimes. Your comment on parenting and parents who use curse words in front of their kids doesn't really work in this context, as we're discussing kids hearing it in public, not from their parents. Kids are going to hear these words, to pretend otherwise is naรฏve. It's up to the parents to make sure kids understand these words and why not to use them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I let my kids swear and why not? I do it all the time. My wife didn't like hearing then swear though, so we have it where they can swear around me, but not in front of her so they learn how to filter it. I guess it works in its own way. My big thing is if they get used to hearing the words, then they don't become taboo and therefore can't be used against me. How many times have teenagers fresh in the art of swearing, used it to piss of their parents. You don't hear them use other words though, which means they know that swear words will get a rise. Now my son or daughter will swear and so what, I'll swear too, we can all swear together, I'm not gonna get mad over it, they'll have to find another way to piss me off
...And half the time as a kid you'd say the substitute but it sounded so much like what it was supposed to mean that adults would accuse you of saying the actual cussword anyways.
The amount of times I got in trouble when I said 'Frickin'' instead of 'Fuckin'' as a kid is pretty ridiculous.
I really have no issue with swearing, but I respect that other people may not want their children to be using certain words. Hence why I try to rein it in when in public places.
Why do I respect the parent's wishes? Simply, because I want to. I'm making an assumption that people are uncomfortable with public swearing around children. Maybe I'm being silly by making this assumption. Most importantly, I'm saying that this is the manner in which I like to act - I'm not suggesting that you or anyone else act in a certain way. Thanks for your reply.
Because not everyone is like you. In the real word if a kid goes to school and swear he's going to get in trouble (even if you and me think it's stupid) and if later on they go to a job interview and swears a lot the employer will probably not like that.
Duck and chair won't cause any harm to nobody, swearing will, even if you find the concept of saying words and getting offended by them stupid.
There is a huge difference between someone asking you to not swear and to not say random words, but yes, if someone politely asked me not to I probably because why not?
Why not? Because it's ridiculous. It's a perfectly useful word, why would you restrict yourself just because someone else doesn't want their kid hearing a word?
I'm not even going to answer 1. You know the difference, you're just being obstinate. 2, of course its ridiculous but I'm not going to get in a confrontation with some bitchy parent over something so pointless.
Oh yeah, I definitely tone it down when I'm in public near kids. I'm not going to stop swearing though just because a kid is near though, I still want to get my point across or my anger out.
It's not my fault if I'm in a Hot Topic talking to my friend and some little girl hears me say "fuck." If I specifically notice kids I'll self-censor a bit but unless I see a child I'll "shit" and "fuck" in public all I damn well please.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Courtesy is a two way street. For every person who doesn't care about swearing in front of kids, there's a person who doesn't care if their kids scream like maniacs and bother everyone around them. The world is better when we all try to be nice to each other.
Exactly. So many people seem to think they should only do something/act in a certain way if it directly benefits them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I say in a conversation that takes place in public is my business, if someone's kid isn't polite enough not to eavesdrop on strangers it's not my problem.
Not encouraging our little trouble maker over here but its the internet you are bound to run into a selfish person eventually. I want to say i dont care about cussing in front of kids but usually i dont know they are around until i do then i feel bad.
Every time I'm out in public with my mom and she hears someone say something as little as shit, she flips out and says you shouldn't be swearing like that in public.
For me it's more of a courtesy thing. If it's just me and a friend, yeah, let's swear all we want, but if I'm walking down the street and there's a kid within earshot, I try to tone it down. If I had a kid, I wouldn't appreciate some guy walking nearby swearing his ass off.
tforce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch your mouth /u/domoarigatodrloboto , you shouldn't be swearing like that on the internet
I have a picture of an old Dear Abby column in which a wife wrote in to complain about her husband swearing. Abby wrote a 10 point long list for why you should stop swearing including: it makes you look smarter, it would make your mom happy, it will make people respect you more, etc. I nearly laughed out-loud reading it.
There's this general belief that if you swear too often, it means you're unintelligent. And I was surprised to find that one of my friends, who I thought was fairly laid back, feels the same way.
DatGDoe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:32:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand their perspective if it was the 1950's but its not. It's 2015 swearing is a common thing on TV, music, everywhere.
If you have a small vocab and all you do is swear (or use swears as a filler) it can make you seem unintelligent. However, if you know when to swear and when not to, DO WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're spot-on, the trouble is the people who don't know when to and when not to.
That paper wasn't from the 1950's though. The original started in 1956 but the current author is the original's daughter, who took over in 2002, and whose photo is alongside the aforementioned article. Also, I found this article by going through backlogs of items that need preserved and the paper hadn't degraded so it is definitely no more than 10 years old. And the person writing in to Dear Abby was a younger wife who admitted that her husband did not swear in front of their kids but that she also wanted him to cease swearing in front of her. Which you would have thought would have come up while they were dating and not after marriage and a baby...but whatever.
Also, I mention my friend because she's in her late 20's and she agrees with the sentiment that it's rude and unintelligent. I don't agree with it - I quite like swearing but can easily turn it off and switch to more formal chatter when required, as I now do with her - but I do think the age of the paper and the attitudes I've seen still do indicate that swearing is a no-no. Not for everyone but for enough people that I still find myself thinking, "Really? Of all the things to offend you, a swear was what you came up with"
I find I swear more than most and I don't mean to, but I also have no intention of not.
I tone it down in places it needs toned down in because I'm respectful of other people. Like if I wanted to go to somewhere nice and other people wanted to go somewhere nice, i'm not going to force them to listen to my unpleasentries. It's a bit bloody rude.
But at the same time I am not a fan of those offended by swear words. It's words. Like people that go "urghhh don't say moist I hate that word."
I think swearing is fine, but like perfume and make up it should be used conservatively and carefully to,produce desired effects. If you swear a lot then it just sounds common and becomes meaningless.
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Superfluous cursing makes you sound like trailer trash as well. Saying fuck just to fucking to say fuck is fucking trashy, fuck man.
I had a very very brief stint in door to door sales, and our "pitch" was so obviously sneaky and fake that it hurt. The worst part was, what we were selling would benefit the people we were trying to sell it to.
I used to love it when our group supervisor was off with someone else and I could use the "great, they're gone, they're a dick head and they want us to use this cheesy pitch. If you've got a spare minute I can tell you how we actually save you money using sneaky little loopholes and if you don't like it that's fine. I'm not going to stand at your house and try and fuck you over."
My improvised pitch got me so many sales and i didn't feel bad about it.
I think that if you swear too often or in a context that doesn't deserve it then the words lose value and relevance.
And frankly, I look down on people that inappropriately swear in public because it shows they don't have respect for the comfort of others.
Now granted, swear has a lot of value and there's a right place for it. But it just comes off as lazy when people overuse them. My opinion of course.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living in the city, I get so frustrated when I hear people just SCREAMING random obscenities. It happens everywhere: in the market, the parks, the train... I personally don't care about these words, but many others do, and you're also shouting them in locations known to contain children.
yeah I had a customer come in to work yesterday, and he was Irish, and I'd met him many times before. But that dude swears out loud so much it's unbelievable. My store has a children in it about half the time so seeing him saying "fuck that shit I ain't buying blah blah piss shit cunt" is just, nah.
Like I get the occasional Fuck that slips out if you drop your wallet or something, but if you're just swearing for the hell of it around kids, that's low.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I learnt something in America... Don't say "cunt" in America, it's a bad idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As others have been saying, if it's around kids, I would actually refrain out of courtesy.
I don't have an issue with cursing around friends, piers, or people who understand, but I am not going to expect others to feel the same.
This one's not okay around kids. I don't have any kids and I curse like a fucking sailor, but I get pissed at my friends if they start talking that way with kids in earshot. Have a little fucking respect.
RAWR19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear a lot, but the one time I try not to swear is when I'm around my parents. They know I swear and that I'm not their perfect little angel anymore, but it's more of a respect thing. If I let one slip, I apologize for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The obnoxiously loud teenagers on public transport who needlessly swear after every word when theres a family with 2 kids sitting just behind them makes me think otherwise.
I can still remember the atmosphere in a certain train car about 4 months ago. You could cut the awkwardness with a knife.
CIVDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? Not swearing is about not making other people uncomfortable.
Leoxcr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear at my work and boss doesn't give a shit. (I work in a call center) I don't swear at my customers though (obvs)
jlb8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should try swearing in white-tie. I promise you it's even better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how I feel about this one. I curse around my friends and stuff when it's just us, but I am also a cashier and the customers who use a lot of profanity casually are usually my trashiest customers. It's not that I think cursing makes you trashy, but I've always associated people who curse in public places like grocery stores/restaurants with a trashier demographic.
raj96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is the rated R audience sportscaster wannabe that swears in front of kids
I think swearing if used correctly is fine. It's the way you use it. There are some sentiments that need expressing and swearing is used to amplify that without getting in the way. Swearing like you're 13 and you found the list of bad words to say when you're mad at your parents is not so much ok.
Stubbing your toe and saying "Fuck" or something similar is a lot easier than expressing that kind of feeling than anything else. Watching the situation turn bad and swearing is possibly the point at which you know things are bad. Anger is much easier to express when you have words you don't use until you're mad.
It's a very clear line as to when it's used correctly. You use these words to make the thing you mean more clearly expressed. That in turn means that you don't use those words until the situation is right which makes the words more powerful. I think I am actually a bit too liberal with the swearing, but it's still useful and if I used it less it would only make it more pronounced and amplify the effect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm cool with it even in a formal setting, I don't like formality.
ookle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Australia. We swear in suits.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was on the metro the other day and two women kept swearing (pretty quietly, but I was sitting next to them).
I'm not offended in any way, but it is a quick way for me to label you as trashy if you drop two f-bombs in a period of ten seconds.
McGobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that swears constantly and it's really annoying. He basically trades "uhh" for "fuckin'" and also uses cursing to emphasize his sentences. Louis CK made fun of one of his friends once by saying he curses so much because he's so afraid that you'll stop listening that he'll curse to make whatever he's saying sound more interesting than it is. I try to refrain from saying "fuck" because I'm terrible at speaking already and want to be better, and I want my "fucks" to mean something when I say them.
jsmys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't understand "bad words". Why are they bad? Why do people get offended by them even if they weren't aimed at that person? I can offend someone without swearing, so what's the point of censoring swear words?
I can remember when I was twelve and I was about to get in trouble for cursing again. My dad took a deep breath looked at me and said "Hell I guess you're old enough now, you can curse but don't curse just to curse. You have to either make it tasteful or have a really good reason."
JFens96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just swear regardless of social situation or the people around me, only if the situation warrants swearing (e.g. if I drop something or hurt myself). Besides, everyone's heard swearing before, or will do at some point in their lives.
It's funny, as a kid I never swore, not even when I was alone, but now that I'm an adult, I have no problem swearing, even in public, as long as there are no kids around. That's my one rule - I don't give a shit if adults hear me swear, if they're really adults, they should be able to cope with hearing a naughty word or two. I just don't want any nearby kids to pick up my potty mouth, which I think is a legitimate concern - I don't want to be that guy that taught a 5-year-old at the grocery store to say, "Fucking shitballs!" But other than that, anyone else who has a problem with swearing, fuck 'em, because you're a grown-ass adult and swearing is simply a tool to easily and quickly convey emotion via verbal language. What's the big fucking deal?
Just keep in mind it affects others' opinion of you. We had an otherwise skilled and experienced employee that was not going anywhere in the company because she would pepper her sentences with fuckin' this and that. Just totally unprofessional = not management material.
For my last three years of highschool, I went to a school that had kids of all ages and swearing was completely acceptable as long as it wasn't used as an insult. it was very refreshing and surprisingly, a big factor of what made it feel we were all on an even playing field.
Christmas time, 2012. Me and my best friend are hanging out at the mall, which has a See's Candy store in it. My friend LOVES See's Candy, so we go in to buy some. We end up getting in line behind a grandmother and her grandkids. Friend asks me in a whisper why me and my girlfriend make so many anal fisting jokes. I laugh and as part of my response I accidentally yell "ANAL FISTING!" right as the grandmother turns around and asks us a question. I start losing it and my friend looks mortified as the woman looks very confused.
I was in Africa with a group of people, mostly British and American. We were talking about places where we used to work and I started talking about my old boss and how he used to swear all the time like "fuckin wash the fucking lettuce! We got a fuckin catering order!" I'm Australian so I don't give a shit but they cut me off before I finished the story because 'okay, that's enough swearing', 'yeah, that's a bit too much.' Like, they were pretty offended.
I remember thinking, 'Really? We're in South Africa, we've had children begging from us and driven through shantytowns. We've seen some incredibly upsetting shit yet me swearing upsets you?'
As long as you're not around children, or even if you are, there are really a lot worse things in this world than swearing. Fucking check your priorities, people.
I used to be ok with that until I started working in a coworking space where I would take client calls or meetings and there was one guy who regularly cursed all the time. It detracted from the professional atmosphere and made me a little embarrassed.
As long as it isn't around children and isn't being used in an angry way towards someone to either threaten them or make them feel uncomfortable in any way, then I see no problem with swearing. If used correctly it just adds some harmless emphasis
I take offense when you claim I'm "eating wrong" however I have no problems with arranging seating or being extra careful so that I don't elbow anyone by accident. I'm not a barbarian, I'm just left-handed
If you're right handed then you're doing it the socially acceptable way.
ceetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then I stab the fuck out of whatever I'm cutting with the knife and eat off of it instead of the fork. Seems you aren't supposed to do that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:58:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My big sister was the only left handed person in our family and I learned how to hold a knife and fork from her. Yup I do a lot of things backwards thanks to her but it makes it fun.
Hobosock ยท 3161 points ยท Posted at 14:51:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping pleasantries if I know someone. Just because I didn't say good morning does not mean that I no longer like you.
psykulor ยท 3028 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little rituals are social glue, though. A canned greeting doesn't have much value on its own, but it does help to exchange non-verbal cues. If I say "good morning" to you every day, you'll get to know the difference between a happy "good morning," a sad "good morning," and an angry "good morning." And if I usually say "good morning" but haven't today, something's probably wrong. A good friend will pick up on things like that and be ready to help. Why give up that opportunity?
Indeed. A lot of people on reddit fail to understand that much of communication is nonverbal. It's about feeling out how the other person is doing, whether they want to talk, etc.
We get it, the weather is not an enthralling subject. But if you don't learn basic social skills, you will never get the opportunity to converse about the stuff you actually care about.
[deleted] ยท 611 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Small talk is just walking down the hallway of possible conversation topics and poking your head down different intersecting hallways.
Talk about the weather, boom you can talk about something you did outside this weekend. "Hey Bob the weather's been real hot this weekend" "Yeah Joe there was no sun at my son's game, I sure felt it" "oh what sport does he play" boom, conversation.
Just try to direct conversation to (if you're American) FORD (family, occupation, recreation, dreams) and not RAPE (religion, abortion, politics, economics).
Totally agreed, but only if it's a coworker, or somebody who I only talk with periodically. If it's a really close friend, we already know what topics we're both interested in, so usually one of us will just launch in, and we're off to the races.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:56:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, there's a difference between people who wake you up at 9am with a beer saying "drink up" and Sally from Accounting who has filed 4 HR complaints this quarter and you're stuck next to her a meeting.
And if you don't actually care to make friends with the person in question... This is great advice. I've never heard of this FORD/RAPE concept, and I'm enthralled to have it summed up so perfectly. But be forewarned; following this will ensure you never actually connect with a person on a level beyond acquaintances.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:39:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That probably goes under dreams, or their past. FORD is about how someone is now. Once you talk about those things then you talk about future plans and their own history, as well as your own.This is where you really get a good feel for what their outlook on life is and some of the "personal philosophies" as you mentioned.
Politics should be talked about. Having that as a taboo encourages people to push it to the back of their mind and not even think about it. There can't be change if everyone just keeps their ideas to themselves. I'm not saying there's places where you shouldn't limit the topics, like work, but as a blanket statement "don't talk about politics" is not good advice
Politics and the others in that category suck as things to talk about with people right off the bat though. Better to get to know someone a bit, find common ground, then discuss stuff like that. Jumping straight into the polarizing stuff will guarantee a lot of people won't want to give your ideas a second thought. You don't first meet someone with, "So what's your thoughts on abortion."
I like pushing this position because for whatever reason people (and especially the media) like to frame things as having two sides with an appropriate middle ground to meet at. So if one side is ideal rather than the middle, then the only way to get to that side is to hammer the other side.
If one side is adamantly anti-abortion, the only way to make it optional is to be adamantly pro-abortion.
Easy there tiger, you're talking at Reddit here. We don't understand things that aren't black or white. What are you saying? Should I hate baby killers or WBC? Please, just throw us a bone.
I'm saying the media likes to frame issues as having two equally legitimate sides and implicitly pushes a middle. For example, climate change is pitted against climate change denial, anti-abortion is pitted against pro-choice, and teaching biological evolution in schools is pitted against not. Of course, in each case the two are not equally valid points of view. In the abortion debate, however, the debate can be reframed by making the pro-choice side into a pro-abortion side. Then pro-abortion is battling anti-abortion and pro-choice is suddenly seen as a middle ground.
I think you're both right; it just depends on the depth of the relationship you want to create in the moment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Politics fucking suck, are boring, and are depressing as fuck. Not a good subject.
Acmnin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:17:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't really care about talking about FORD.
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 19:23:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they complain about having no friends or no one to talk to.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 19:37:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:54:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, literally hostile over conversation topics.
Occupation is literally talk about what you do, its a good topic, one you hopefully know something about the listener might be interested.
Family, most people aren't hostile about talking about it.
Dreams, don't you talk to people about what you want to do with life?
Recreation, try it you might be surprised.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 21:01:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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ucbiker ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:39:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dreams as in ambitions, dude. You're too busy with life to make plans for the future or have goals you want to accomplish? That sounds miserable.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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ucbiker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:21:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks that you think people only care about getting a wife and a job and then after that they're done with anything until retiring and dying.
sseeeds ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are the kind of things that give context (and can lead into) the topics you consider more meaningful.
Why talk about the environment with some completely random stranger? If I know a bit about you, we can find common ground or unique perspectives to bring to the conversation. "Oh, you live by the coast? You are from a drought-stricken area?", etc, etc.
How am I supposed to talk about politics with you if I don't even know where you are from? Your occupation can inform this too. If you are a unionized steel worker or something vs. a hedge fund manager it lends context to your political opinions and I might be more interested in where you are coming from.
Same with being single vs. family vs. whatever. You don't have to tell me about your marital problems, but maybe we have kids who are the same age and there is common ground, or at least lead into a discussion about politics and the new family tax credit here in Canada and whether the economics of it really are justified, etc, etc.
If you are just a robot who starts spouting off on economics right off the bat, then nobody will want to talk to you. If you warm up to it a bit, the conversation can be really interesting.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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sseeeds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, then stop complaining that people don't want to have conversations about science or the environment. You have to lay some basic groundwork or you aren't going to engage many people.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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sseeeds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but if you say that there are certain topics you actually do want to talk about, then having some basic social skills and being willing to talk about FORD can get others excited to talk about the topics of your preference. And talking to a variety of people can be the spice of life, rather than just talking to those who are like you.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Jesus Christ you sound like the most boring person on the fucking planet.
What a robot!
Small talk is not a social skill? Bwahahah. Oh good god, thank you, thank you so much for that. (Wipes tear from eye) oh man, please keep this convo going, I'm laughing my ass off. It almost feels bad to downvote you!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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sseeeds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
COHLE: Iโd consider myself a realist, but in philosophical terms Iโm whatโs called a pessimist.
HART: Ok, whatโs that mean?
COHLE: It means Iโm bad at parties.
HART: laughs let me tell you, you ainโt great outside of parties either.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:31:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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sseeeds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't downvoted you, and the joke wasn't meant to be mean. Rust is a better person than his partner, but he definitely doesn't have the personality or skill for small talk or parties. His personality is totally how I read you based on this conversation.
The closest I came to down voting is when you said that you don't find that people who want to talk small talk have the desire or ability to talk on deeper subjects. It comes off totally condescending. And of course it isn't true as anyone who knows more than a few scientists, economists, environmentalists, etc etc can attest to.
Carl_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, which beaches are you looking at? What do you most like about the beach or neighborhoods you're interested in? When's your retirement coming up? What are you doing to prepare for it? How will this be affected by environmental or economic changes? Do you have any apprehensions about your retirement?
It's cool if you don't want to talk about any of that, but there's clearly a lot that could be said about your future ambitions and how that connects to "important subjects".
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Carl_B ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually the people who would rather talk about RAPE have RAPE discussion under the R of their FORD.
arbloch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is far and away the best explanation I've ever heard for small talk. Bravo sir. If I wasn't poor I'd gild ya, but alas, I live in New York City and I'm not a banker.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sick of hearing "I hate small talk! It's so stupid, who the fuck wants to talk about the weather?"
No one, no one fucking wants to talk about the weather. No one wants to have a conversation consisting solely of small talk. There's no fucking substance.
The issue with your example, is that many redditors would respond to the "there was hardly any sun at my son's game" with "that sucks."
Then they would whine about how no one wants to talk to them. If you actually give a real response like, "oh, that sucks, what sport does he play?"
"He plays baseball, he's a decent center fielder, but he definitely needs to work on his batting."
"Oh cool, hey, wasn't there like some all star thing this week for baseball?"
"Yeah man, its the all star break! You watch the home run Derby? They had a new format this year, it was kinda neat!"
"Oh that's pretty cool, I didn't see the homerun derby, I'm not much of a sports guy, I was watching _____ (or playing _____) last night"
"Oh gotcha. It's kinda boring if you're not into it. My wife hates it, haha. What's _______ about?"
Now, after Mr sports guy has finished talking about sports, you get to talk about your game/show you watched. Maybe you'll go home and watch highlights from the home run derby and he'll check out your show/game. Maybe you find that you love baseball and just never realized it (maybe you find the stats fun? I hate watching baseball on tv, but I keep track of stats). Maybe he'll become obsessed with your show or game and you can talk about that all the time. Maybe he already plays that game or watches that show? Who knows, you may have just made a new best friend by talking about the weather
On Monday, I get asked how my weekend was. I almost always respond, "good? I don't remember what we did, but nothing bad happened." I can't remember anything distinct about any day even if it was eventful.
You may want to consult a physician or psychologist if you're being serious. Not remembering your days can be a sign of a variety of conditions, physical and psychological. Some are benign and some, not so much. If you literally don't remember much about your days, even yesterday, it would be important to get that looked into.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you never talk about it. Its like what I imagine being a doctor is like if someone always wants to talk about vaccines causing autism, except you often get yelled at and often just say you work in another field to avoid it :/
SiTing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an introvert I find the "safe" topics to all be small talk. I don't mind catching up on the "FORD" subjects with people I know, but if I just met you why should I scratch the surface?
I want to get to know your mind by talking about current events (which are usually politics and economics). Since I'm a religious person I like knowing about other people's spiritual views as well. After that we can talk about occupations and dreams.
It's seen as prying into something that's not your business. If a janitor and a supreme court judge are talking, it could put a divide between them right off the bat. So most people avoid it in civilised conversation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I can see that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In America there isn't that cultural problem.
Hell the former chief justice of the court used to like walking around the Supreme Court buildings and taking pictures for/of the tourists who had no idea the Chief Justice was taking their picture for them.
It goes the other way. Because I don't communicate nonverbally, communicating through text is a 100% perfect substitute for live conversation, and also lets me think more and talk at my leisure. Of course I'm on here.
Nonverbal communicators are boring as shit when you aren't aware of their double meanings and little games. I hope their whole method of socializing dies out.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you misunderstand. All humans communicate nonverbally. It's part of our animal instincts. It's not something you control, or choose to do. There's no "double meanings" or "games", it's just human behavior. You communicate nonverbally, even if you don't realize it. And you pick up on other peoples nonverbal communication, again even if you don't realize it. It's a subconscious thing, you don't do it on purpose.
Pupil dilation and tiny details of facial movement are major parts of nonverbal communication. Even the positioning of your body relative to the other person is nonverbal communication.
The only way you don't communicate nonverbally is if you don't communicate (except through text). The only way nonverbal communication will "die out" is if humans stop communicating in person, or if humans somehow evolve into a new species that doesn't have physical interaction I guess.
It's entirely possible to imagine humans becoming as immune to all nonverbal signals as we currently are to skin temperature change (except for blushing). We're currently dogs, who can read emotions, we could become cats and not care.
I agree that nonverbal is a feature of the species currently, however I consider that to be a fact similar to how wolves communicate with nips and bites. It's unnecessarily painful compared to verbal.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we're going to have to invent about a million more words to describe all the nuance of nonverbal communication, but I guess anythings possible. Considering the average vocabulary has dropped like a rock over the last 50 years, I don't see that happening.
If nonverbal vanished we'd just have a less rich sensory experience and not even notice, like how we currently miss all scent cues due to our weak noses. Instead of more words I think we'd need more institutions, such as matchmaking to replace the emotional entrainment that's the spark in dating, and contracts to replace people's sense of trust and charisma.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You act like emotions are some negative thing that need to be removed. Humans are humans, not computers.
You need to get off the computer and out of the house, dude.
Imagine if you didn't have a sense of taste, but all good jobs, leadership positions, and dates depended not on your qualifications, but on exchanging things that tasted good. That's how it is for me with social emotions. I imagine that's how it is for social people when they try to break into fields where emotions like intellectual curiosity and obsession help you excel -- the fields get populated by people who get satisfaction out of stuff that you aren't interested in at all, and it takes a while to even realize how different they are from you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to be mean or offensive, but that sounds like a legitimate mental disability to me. It's unfortunate that there's no way to account for it in the current system. Sorry if I was an ass earlier.
I was thinking the same thing when I posted. If you can't taste and business depends on taste... you just have a handicap, others don't have to change. But it felt good to vent.
To jump on to /u/_stonecoldsaidso's post ... do you have aspergers/ASD? Because social cues are really easy for most people. It's how we evolved.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even people with those conditions communicate nonverbally. Social cues are a form of nonverbal communication, but there's a lot of nonverbal communication that isn't related to social cues.
Nah, I'm more like, say, an Amish person. Relatively normal, till one day I looked up and said "You ever noticed how everyone lives? I'm going to define myself as being against that." Whereas before I just didn't use nonverbal (which there are many cultures that don't), now I'm actively partisan against it. Mainly because of Robin Hanson's writing about homo hipocritus, and how nonverbal uses verbal solely to add a layer of deniability to selfish actions.
I actually took a course on Amish and Mennonite diseases and their culture. They dont define themselves as going against the norm. They do what they believe is right.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention you'll never learn the skills to communicate effectively in almost any profession.
Personally I love most of the shows on The Weather Channel. Learning about the types of storms, Saltstraumen, different kinds of rare lightning... it's really awesome. Weather is actually awesome.
I'm just starting to learn this. As a formerly (and still sometimes) highly introverted person, I was always worried about making small talk because I thought I'd sound boring. But boring conversation is okay. Not everything you say has to be witty, insightful or interesting.
If you think of something interesting, say it. If you don't, say whatever is on your mind. Your conversation feels more natural that way and you learn to actually enjoy conversations, not just feel like you're "reciting" a piece of text from your head.
Except that much non verbal communication is an subconsciously/innately understood behaviour. Which kinda sucks for those who can't learn it, and instead has to learn to consciously be aware and mimic such behaviour in social situations without ever understanding it. It takes so much brain power to try and read social cues and react with the appropriate face/gesture/action/response within the time frame of the conversation that even a split second mistimed can very quickly break rapport leading to frustratingly awkward interactions.
People like those, if they can practise with non-verbal cues enough they can be really good manipulators, because they do it all conciously and deliberately.
What if i told you, skipping pleasantries doesn't necessarily mean you don't have basic social skills
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most communication is non-verbal.
Rnmkr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, you have to also know to pick up on those cues.
I had to check up on 5 production lines (intern at mass manufacturing); and did the rounds before the 10 am daily meetings: reports on production, SHE incidents, quality, maintenance, etc.
The first thing was going up to the guys working on the lines: "hey, good morning, how's it going?" the answer you got, tone, body language would give you a hint if I should ask about something else or move along to the next line.
Most people have some degree of social ineptitude. The thing about any forum is that it allows others to voice the fact that they're not great conversationalists, thus seeming to result in an inflated number of these people.
Damn. Maybe I'm just awkward, but imo, especially if you don't see the person every day. "Good morning" and shit every day can come across as very needy and clingy.
And let's be real, no one actually talks about the weather, unless you're either just lazy, or reeeeally can't think of anything to say
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, its more like some of us manage to have perfectly good social relations without all that minor useless crap. In my experience most of the small talk and pleasantry stuff leads to only the most superficial of relationships, if even that much.
The "learning basic social skills" is particularly ridiculous given that different cultures have different social customs and far from all of them involve lots of meaningless pleasantries. But people on reddit tend to think the entire world (including all people) works the same as USA and maybe 2-3 other western countries.
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this explanation. I've tried before to explain that small talk can lead to more important things, and the other person didn't seem to get that, and often wonders why they don't have so many friends. I care for this friends and am still not sure how to get this point across. Likeable person for sure, but just doesn't like to start up small talk unless he's trying to pick up a girl.
Social pleasantries are a baseline of communication. They give structure for the nonverbal, and a starting point to more personal verbal communication. Only my mother and Mike Trout actually find the weather to be a stimulation topic of discussion.
A well socialized person should be able to understand and use small talk in the structural and opening functions. There is nothing more awkward than some one wanting to jump straight into serious topics without ever having once made small talk with you. Small talk is the first foray into each other's personality and style of communication. It's where I find out you have a dry sense of humor, or are more sensitive. Are you easily offended, or easy going? I need some baseline readings on you before we jump into a delicate topic. And I can get a lot of it from discussing the weather and how terrible traffic/the train/the bus has been of late.
Yeah me too. I arrive at the office really early and drink a lot of water, and the bathroom is at the office entrance. So every single day, whenever I have to go it means I also have to say hello to everybody that arrived after me. I got tired of it once and tried skipping a few people on side offices in the corridors. I would talk to them normally for the rest of the day but just skipped the obligatory morning hellos on the way to the bathroom. It didn't go too well... So I started the hellos again to keep everyone happy. I call it my morning bathroom tax.
Little rituals are social glue, though. A canned greeting doesn't have much value on its own, but it does help to exchange non-verbal cues. If I say "good morning" to you every day, you'll get to know the difference between a happy "good morning," a sad "good morning," and an angry "good morning." And if I usually say "good morning" but haven't today, something's probably wrong. A good friend will pick up on things like that and be ready to help. Why give up that opportunity?
Oh man you are 100% in point about the little things holding together the big things
A good friend will pick up on things like that and be ready to help. Why give up that opportunity?
Because I generally think that if I want help, I'll seek it out. 99/100 times I'm going to stubbornly deal with my issues myself. It's not anyone else's problem, even a good friend's.
Okay, I was just curious because that test had a section where you had to write an essay about the value of polite speech in our society and that was a way better answer than what I said, although I ended up getting a 4, so I suppose my essay was okay.
Zizek says the opposite. The pleasantries exist to distance ourselves emotionally from those we are forced into proximity with. This is why best friends can greet each other with a string of insults. Look at the Empire Strikes Back and how Lando treats Han and Leia differently when they get off the Falcon.
If I see my cube neighbor when I'm getting into work, I'll give him a "morning!" but if I don't, who cares. We talk during the day, just that first interaction when we first get here, that's when the greeting happens.
"Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
All of them at once, and a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain.
EllaL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, although "how are you" or "how was your weekend" is usually rhetorical, it gives the opportunity if someone really has something they need to talk about or you should know for background.
The unfiltered truth doesn't always go over well. Even though you might think it's the best way to give information without any social dress-up, you're still adding social dress-up without meaning to. If you just say (for instance), "I'm upset!" to a room, you're conveying your feelings more directly than if you'd said "good morning" in an upset tone. But by being so upfront, you could be implying, "I'm upset and you should have known already!" or "I'm upset enough to broadcast it without caring who hears!" or "I'm upset and I expect you to resolve it!" People will take subtle social cues from you even if you'd rather skip them.
The pleasantries aren't really all that bad, to be honest. Nonverbal communication is not a strictly inferior medium to verbal communication, at least in the conveying of feelings and attitudes. There's no particular need to say what you're trying to convey.
If you say how you feel directly, people will generally place a far greater urgency on that emotion. That can be dangerous. I don't want you coming up to me every day and being like, "I'm angry!" I'll assume you're angry with me, or that you're angry and there's something I've got to do about it. That will stress me out! Just use your cues!
If you don't have the time to tell me how you're feeling with cues, you don't have the time to tell me at all. Relationships are built on time! I don't want a three-second rundown on your emotional state - it won't matter to me if there's no relationship to build it on.
It really doesn't work that way... When I care about someone, I help fix their problems. If you care about a relationship, that is time not spent fixing the actual problem. I want to help resolve what caused someone to feel what they feel, the feeling itself is a symptom.
It's inefficient.
For the record, "shoulder to cry on" types are also usually the people who physically do the least to help. Everyone listened to my coworkers plight, when they bought a new house, but you know who didn't listen? Me. You know who helped move their furniture into that house? Also me. You can guess who wasn't helping move that day.
Except feelings aren't always just caused by circumstances, and when they are they aren't always just fixed by changing those circumstances.
Many people have needs that are expressly, exclusively emotional. They need help processing emotions. They need to talk through irrelevant stuff, sometimes, to even figure out how they feel. So for these people (and they are, if anything, the majority) have an innate need for this time you call wasted.
Aren't those people emotionally immature? To not have robust coping mechanisms in place to deal with emotions quickly and without interrupting their activities?
Sounds to me like you've convinced yourself that you're better than I am because you ignore emotional cues. You shouldn't belittle people for living differently than you, and you've often made sweeping assumptions where I've been careful to use qualifiers so to be more inclusive.
You can leave this exchange thinking you're right and I'm wrong; that's everyone's prerogative in debate. But please, be nicer. Be more aware.
I never belittled them, you did that yourself because you followed my point to it's final conclusion, which is that, talk is cheap.
You implied I can't have a relationship without supporting people emotionally.(Or them supporting me)
I would like you to reflect on a situation where both parties are emotionally mature individuals, or perhaps people who are lucky enough to not have problems. Would those 2 people be incapable of having a relationship? Of course not! Arguably they would have a better relationship than 2 people with emotional problems.
That would suck if it turned out to be someone important.
"Hello Mr. /u/BrinxJob, I'd like to talk to you aboutโ"
"What the fuck did you just say to me?"
What if you're friend just called with some really bad news? " What the fuck did you say to me?" "Well, my dad just died and I figured I would tell you first..."
Heh, I did that as a kid and it turned out to be the county sheriff on the other end - he was not impressed.
Long story short, my sister ran away with her paycho boyfriend (she was a minor, he was not). Parents got the cops involved, yada yada. My best friend's number was blocked on the caller ID. I had just finished talking to him a few minutes before the phone rang with a blocked number. Thinking it was him again I answered with "what the fuck do you want now?". Was not him.
I think OP is saying that they will just talk to them about something without saying hello. I do this all the time at work, I don't think it pisses anyone off but I'm not too sure now.
I had to go to mediation with my boss and coworker once because I wouldn't say "hi" to him. It took him by complete surprise when I mentioned that he never once addressed me first.
The truth of the matter was that I intentionally didn't say hi, because there was a good chance it would turn into a 20 minute long story about how he got screwed over by someone 30 years ago. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.
wombat1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Context required. Was he a coworker at your old job, or is he your coworker that is rather aged?
I hate that some people have such an issue with this. I currently live with my bf and his family due to financial reasons and if I don't say good morning to his mother every single morning she throws the biggest tantrum like it's the end of the world.
I grew up with a family who didn't care at all if you said good morning or not. I eventually got used to it just to shut his mother up.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:29:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people at work think I'm a weirdo because of this. I only respond to "pleasantries," but never initiate them.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:28:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow weirdo here.
Don't think I've ever said "good morning", or "how are you?" in my entire life.
If someone asks me "how are you?" my immediate response is "good. you?" Every time, 100% of the time.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! This is me too. If you ask me, i will respond and usually even reciprocate. But I rarely initiate. It has come to me telling new co-workers who take up desks near mine that "I'm not a morning person/I dont small talk and just because I don't say good morning as i walk past your desk, it doesn't mean i don't like you" ... At one firm event, the alcohol brought out the truth in what one coworker thought of my not saying good morning to her as i arrive each day (and she was kind of a bitch about it too).
At one of my previous jobs we were required to act cordially and exchange pleasantries with people we know. I would say "hi, how are you?" or "good morning" or whatever to same person about 5-6 times in a shift.
yeah I actually get really pissed by all these standard routines every fucking day. cause at my office people come in at different times and everyone separately says "morning" and I just don't wanna speak at all in the morning, just a little bit grumpy
I've called those "arbitrary pleasantries" for years now and nobody seems to agree with me. It feels like such a waste of time and awkward shit - greeting, "how are you? fine, you? good. good." Commence worthwhile conversation.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:55:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
god i'm glad this is finland and no one says that.
BUT, i'd like to propose overwhelming them by actually going through everything you're going through, as they ask. every single time. to detail haha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly though, can't you just walk past the people and say "hi" and keep going? i doubt anyone will actually mind that much. say "alright", if they go "how are you?" back to them, but keep walking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha, let them care. although, i'd probably just always groan at them as i saw them and reply "tired." when they ask. they can complain at their leisure if they like.
I have this issue with at least one person at work. I am just not a very out going social person. I will respond with greetings but never initiate them.
Most people don't think anything of it, they know that is who I am.
This one lady has on multiple instants expressed how she is offended that I don't say hello to her every day, that it is personal. This is despite me making it clear I don't greet anyone, even my own family.
I am sorry, I will not go out of my comfort zone to help you deal with your own insecurities.
My dad does assumes that I'm pissed every morning if I don't have say "goodmorning" and have a convo with him. It's 7 in the fucking morning, I'm only here for a cup of coffee, not to have a chat about what I'm doing today because its obviously going to be Netflix every time.
I usually greet my friends with "bitch" or some other immature insult, then leap into what I was going to tell them. That's usually only on Gmail though.
I skip pleasantries at work and only people who aren't teachers don't seem to get it. Look, I have less than 5 min between classes and maybe a 50 min break at some point in the day, I'm going to get to the point if I need to talk to you at all.
If I do not say good morning to a co-worker, he will holler "Did I sleep with you last night? Did we wake up together?" And then answers his own questions saying Good morning, this is the first time I'm seeing you today.
How is that better then me not saying good morning?
My husband communicates with his family this way. If he has a quick question and calls his mom, they have to bs for a couple of minutes before he'll ask. My family is more direct and speeds that up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once greeted a friend by kicking my foot up into his line of site as I walked up. We were in a noisy crowd and he was looking at his phone, so I wasn't going to waste a comment that would probably go unheard until I was already standing awkwardly in front of him (or risk calling his name and having attention put on me). If I greeted everyone with a forced "hello, how are you today/this morning/this evening?" I'd feel like a robot. It's one thing if you haven't seen someone in ages or have only just met them, but between acquaintances and friends, it's just awkward, and it feels much more natural to just get a conversation going-- even if it's some small talk like "jeeze, it's hot today".
So true! I hate pleasantries and people get so offended. To me I hate it because the appropriate answer is usually "good".
"Hey joe, how's you're day going so far?"
"It's good, and yours?"
"It's good."
For once just tell people it sucks and see what they do. I do it all the time and its hilarious and proves that they don't really care. So why ask it. For efficiencies sake let's cut the crap and get in with it.
My usual greeting of coworkers is just raising my eye brows if we make eye contact, sometimes I make the Jim face, seems to work well, I just don't always feel like putting in the effort of saying "Hi"
Exactly. I'm not a morning person and all my coworkers have learned that just because I don't greet you,doesn't mean I'm mad. I just don't function well before noon.
Whenever one of my friends and I part ways after hanging out, we just tell each other to "fuck off" or "go fuck yourself". So much simpler than those standard goodbyes
I've always made it a point to say good morning and whatnot to my new co workers whenever I started a new job. It got people to remember my face in a positive way and made approaching them later a lot easier.
It's also the first step towards making office-friends.
I once lost a friend I'd known for about 6 months because he said I never asked him how he was feeling etc
I mean I've never had a friend who's asked me that, we just kinda y'know, get along and talk about shit but this guy out of the blue got really pissed at me for apparently "not caring" and I haven't talked to him in about a year and a half.
It's not like he ever asked me or made any indication towards it, fucking wierd.
Tridian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's useful as an indicator though. If I greet someone like "Hey, how's it going?" and they respond like "Yeah, things are going good, you?" I immediately know they are happy and willing to talk. If I only get a one word response or no response at all, that's a pretty good indicator of their mood or attitude.
Working in customer service has desensitized me to all pleasantries such as "Hello, how are you" "good thanks!" And such. They literally mean nothing to me now. And whenever I say those words to someone outside of the context of work, it feels really awkward and I have work flashbacks.
As a North American living in Europe, they seriously don't get this. I've been shit on while minding my own business in an elevator because I didn't say "Bonjour" drives me crazy. Apparently I'm the rudest fucker on the planet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was a child I didn't understand the need for pleasantries. I asked my mom, what's the point of these if everyone automatically says them. She told me it was the polite thing to do, so I did. I still don't understand...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i don't even ask people how their weekend was... just continue what we were last talking about or talk about something we're both currently doing, even after the 2 day gap
turdzip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. So much. New coworker of mine insists on either a pat on the back or a hand shake with a "good morning turdzip". I see you every fucking day. Just a "Morning" or "How are you" would suffice. Enough of this touching shit
I'm not used to say hello to people that I see or talk everyday, I do it but just when I remember to do it. And, most of the times when I'm at skype with my friends, when I enter in conference call, I don't remember to say hello, so they kick me from the conference just to make me say hello.
Friends.
Lithelm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in High School I used spend summer break with my dad and his wife and their daughter. About 2 weeks in she got all bent out of shape because I would walk through the living room in the morning to get to the kitchen and not say good morning to her and her 2 year old. Fucking really? I have tip my hat to you every morning if I decide to get breakfast.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:58:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
My family can't seem to get used to the idea of me not wanting children ever. They always say "you'll change your mind!" or "but being a mother is great!". Just because I'm a women, doesn't mean I was made to only have children.
Edit: spelling
farie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family can't get used to the idea of me not wanting children at this very moment, although I'm 100% on having kids in the near future. It would BLOW THEIR MINDS if I decided never to have them.
Meanwhile, all of my friends already have children (at the mature ages of 18-24), and they don't understand how I can find meaning in my life without getting knocked up ASAP.
So you have my sympathy. All of it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, I'm only 21. I still have two more years of college to go through, as of right now. Almost everyone in my graduating class from high school has had a child, or five, already, though. Every weekend it seems like they're getting drunk, or whatever, and they don't have a care in the world. Then on Monday, they're back to playing mommy and daddy?
It's not a game and I feel like so many people have babies when they're young because they're "cute", but don't realize the responsibility that comes with having a child.
Props to you for waiting!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:07:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The U.S., a lot of Europe, and Japan are having or going to have serious low population growth problems actually. But none of that is your responsibility.
Taleya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is nice to hear. I'm a guy and it seems like almost every girl wants kids. If I ever get married, it would have to be with someone who also has no interest in them.
I get really uncomfortable when people I barely know as
"So are you having kids" or "when are you getting married". For all they know I may not be able to have children or it may be a sore subject. I find it a deeply personal question and people just throw it around freely.
Likewise, there's not really any need for me to "settle down and get married"- what the old ladies at church don't know is that I currently have a boyfriend(bisexual male). They also do this with an older guy who's gay and single, but he's actually out of the closet to the church(the old ladies in question are just a little oblivious).
Just tell people you're not able to have kids. Problem solved. Trust me life is easier this way than trying to explain everything to people who will never understand.
morieu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She never said she was being forced, just that she wished it was more socially acceptable. When friends and co workers tell you constantly to "grow up" and have kids already or condescendingly reassure you that they used to be like you but then did the mature thing...about a choice that is none of their business in the first place, it starts to grate on you. Child free people are often denied medical sterilization because doctors believe we are too immature to make that choice for ourselves. Does that sound like not being forced to you?
Familys are always very harsh with women not wanting children. It's just not socially accepted a woman would not love to have children. I don't want to give birth, I don't want to help grow up, I don't want to be pregnant. I like children, if I don't have to see them more than four hours. Perfectly alright for me.
[deleted] ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 17:56:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone. If you live alone, you shouldn't have to go out just because you want a glass of wine.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:18:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People look at me funny whenever I say I don't go to bars -- if I drink, I'll sit down at home, pull out a rocks glass, put a couple cubes of ice in it and fill it up with some nice spiced rum. They seem to think this automatically qualifies me as an alcoholic, even though I generally only drink around 1 time per week at most.
Also, I don't live alone, but my wife doesn't drink so I am still drinking by myself. Sometimes I'll drink while we do something together, other times I drink while sitting there playing video games.
zcab ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:28:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to pay a 200% mark-up and by a taxi home to not be an alcoholic....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never rode in a taxi within my own country in my life. Taxis are absolutely insanely priced in Arizona, and I will only go out drinking if I have a ride home or can crash there. Either way though, I won't go to bars to pay $6/drink when I can buy a bottle of Kraken for $19 and get tipsy with other people for much cheaper and a more fun environment.
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I have only used a taxi for bar night or the airport. Otherwise I never use them either. If you think a taxi is expensive try the cost of a DUI. Peanuts by comparison, sir/sirette. I live in Tennessee and the cops here wait outside the bars and follow you. When I was really broke and bored I used to walk down to the town square and watch the DUIs getting passed out as the bar closed. Taxi or DD is a must here.
I'm with you though. Way too pricey. I only go to the bar to meet friends on an occasion. Otherwise I'm at home 99% of the time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a stigma attached to drinking alone. While it's not a social activity many consider it socially unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some screening tests list it as a risk factor for alcoholism.
Some screening tests also say it's a risk factor if anyone has ever expressed concern about your drinking, and, ironically, the only reason why people have ever expressed concern about my drinking is because I drink alone as a result of living alone, and it occurred to them to express concern about it because it was listed on a screening test.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem is when you are literally drinking in a closet. My close family friend even when home alone drinks in the closet, its sad.
Abomm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The matter of being a lone obviously lends itself to personal preference. With that said, I don't see the purpose in doing something like drinking alone because I drink to lower my inhibitions or to elicit reactions from other people, which in turn make me act different. When I'm alone I don't care about how I act because no one is going to judge me so I have little inhibition anyway.
illyay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does playing Starcraft with random strangers count as alone?
sxtaco ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's an implied difference between "having a drink alone" and "drinking alone" though, similar to the difference between a glass and a bottle of wine.
I don't think "drinking alone" implies you have a problem like many people do. Sometimes it's fun to stay at home get shitfaced and play videogames or watch movies. Now if it becomes a daily thing then you have a fucking problem.
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the drinking alone conventional wisdom is for people that are doing serious drinking. Pretty sure small amounts of alcohol touching your lips while your alone is OK.
I live alone and I've been known to finish of a bottle or two of wine, or more cans of beer than I should if I feel it's needed. Bad days at work or if I'm watching a big event alone, so once a month/two months. In my opinion, it's only a problem if it happens regularly.
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. It only a problem if you make excuses for the behavior. If I feel like getting a little tipsy from time to time I'm an adult and that's my choice.
I have a friend (yes irl) that I also play video games with on Xbox. We'll go out and play a round of disc golf or something then both pick up a 12 pack on the way home. Then we'll both sit "alone" in our houses and play the fuck out of battlefield and chat till the beer runs out.
We are both fairly successful and employed people. I see nothing wrong here. Perhaps the sheer volume of beer is a little concerning, but hey...
Yep. And whether or not we pay respect to them, or just avoid saying something bad, what the fuck kind of difference does it make for them, they're fucking dead.
Well this is probably taboo because you don't want people that liked them to remember them differently, just because you didn't like them.
In a conversation talking about a dead asshole I knew from highschool? Sure I wont hold my thoughts just so they remember them the right way. At someone's funerals or with said person's family? I don't think so.
teo730 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:03 on July 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also when people die, everyone's like "aw, I miss them so much", bitch you didn't ever talk to the person. Stop being so fake.
Flonaldo ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 17:36:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Starting to eat while others are still putting stuff on their plates. Why do I have to wait til everybody is ready and my stuff eventualy already started to get cold, i don't mind when others eat first either.
I don't know the origin of the practice, but I was just raised to believe it was considered polite to wait for everyone to be seated before dining. I still feel that way, and I still do it.
That being said, if I'm at someone else's house and that isn't their norm them I'm not going to be offended if they don't wait for me. Even still, I will end up waiting for them anyway. It would feel rude to me not to.
Well yeah, sitting down at the table is different than putting food on your plate. I mean, if there is some super delicious steak I am gonna eat it as soon as I can!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother taught me that hot food needs to be eaten while its hot. You can wait for the others when the food is cold.
Gene Futterman was a chef at Squires Restaurant in East Hampton, New York. He was famous for his elaborate dinner parties to which he often invited the young Adam Yauch (Beastie Boys) and his family. At these parties he would always say 'When two are served, you eat! You don't sit there and let your food get cold waiting for everybody to get served'. And so the Futterman Rule was born.
Gene Futterman was a chef at Squires Restaurant in East Hampton, New York. He was famous for his elaborate dinner parties to which he often invited the young Adam Yauch (Beastie Boys) and his family. At these parties he would always say 'When two are served, you eat! You don't sit there and let your food get cold waiting for everybody to get served'. And so the Futterman Rule was born.
I can't remember where but I thought I remember someone also adding to this that it only applies for groups of five or more. So, if you are with only two or three other people you should still probably wait until everyone has their food.
Usually when I'm eating out with people I will wait until someone insists that I eat even if they don't have their dish, and then I'll oblige them. I also insist that others eat without me. It's sort of a silly dance of pleasantries, but in a small group it's not a big deal. For big groups -Futterman's Rule!
Also having to wait for everyone to finish eating before leaving the table. If I'm done and want to go for a ciggie or whatever, I don't need to ask to be excused, I just damn well get up and leave.
Talking to a random stranger for 5 minutes about the weather is not a meaningful connection to us. We just don't engage in superfluous conversation with strangers unless we have something to gain from it.
Sorry. Sometimes I find joy in talking to strangers out of context. It's not "superfluous" to talk to another person if both people would like to talk.
Glad you can find enjoyment in talking to strangers. I really don't mean that this is the case for everyone, even in Sweden... I was merely trying to explain the rationality behind this Swedish norm...
I'm sorry if I came across as rude :(
If I ever go to Sweden I'm going to chat up every stranger I meet just to witness the horrified stares.
I'm curious, how do people make friends over there, or hook up? Here in the U.S. it's common to flirt with a stranger at the bar if you're down for a one night stand, but I assume things would be different over there.
Sweden has a huge drinking culture and once alcohol is involved all social norms go out the window. We are quite social if we have some context to talk to you, if you go to the bar it is totally acceptable to chat up strangers because you are both there to meet people and get drunk. Friends are indeed hard to come by, most of us have them from our school or university days. Though hard it is not impossible to make new friends elsewhere, people might try new hobbies or any activity that puts them in context to talk to strangers. Once you befriend someone you are usually invited to their circle of friends and from there on it's a lot easier.
PMental ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:55 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Really? Never occurred to me, Swede here too. I sometimes reflect loudly upon something that occurred that we both witnessed or similar, to complete strangers and it's seldom awkward. I guess it would depend on context and how you go about it.
Edit: I somehow ignored the "public transport" part. I think people kind of shut down or go into power save mode on those, so they'll often be unsure of what was even said which does make for a lot more awkward situations.
I've heard this a lot on reddit, basically that no one anywhere in Scandinavia would ever approach a stranger and begin a discussion, but I haven't found that to be true. Could be because I was an outsider speaking English, who knows.
Well, sometimes it's socially inadvisable. If you're a young woman, there are way too many people who'll take it as an invitation. When I moved to the city from a tiny backwater, I didn't understand this, and was followed by a coterie of various losers everywhere I went until I learned to keep my eyes down.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:31:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I agree that it's socially inadvisable sometimes (as a young woman, I don't really smile at strangers in the city either), but it makes me sad to think that some people believe that smiling at strangers is socially unacceptable.
I think it depends on where you are, really. I grew up in the south where southern hospitality is a real thing (sorry northerners who disagree, but I've lived in both the north and south and there's really no denying it) and smiling at strangers is basically expected. However now that I live in the north if I smile at strangers they often just look away or don't change expression at all. I wouldn't say it's to the point of being socially unacceptable though.
Smiling and eye contact. It's common place here. When I'm in areas that it isn't...talk about a weird sense of empowerment. It's like I'm walking around, just owning the fuck out of everyone in the game of eye gaze. Then I come across a girl, we lock eyes and smile as we walk past each other. I'll turn around and tell her we should do that again some time.
As an Asian guy who makes eye contact and smiles in southern California, the empowerment is real, especially in the Asian-heavy areas. It actually seems pretty normal in whiter neighborhoods, though it seems to label me as the prime target for "Do you know where _____ is?" or "Do you have the time?"
It's irregular in CA? The weather there is pretty awesome for the better part of the year, you guys better be smiling all the time!
Here, it makes you a target for bums/change, but they ask everyone. Odds are, if you have your head up, you're more aware of your surroundings anyhow, it's all good all the way around.
I live in Portland. There's no social standard yet and I love smiling and being friendly. We get folks from the east coast who just ignore you, sensitive liberal people who get really awkward because they don't want to acknowledge you (but they clearly saw you, so their eyes go wide and mind starts racing: should I smile? should I just keep walking? I don't want to be offensive. Oh gosh, why did I leave the house? I'll just smile and not make eye contact, will that work?), then you get the southerners and non-urbanites who happily smile and greet back. Then you get the too-cool-for-school Californians who look at you coldly like, "Are you trying to fuck me? I'm not interested." Lastly you've got the hippies who smile and happily try to engage you in a conversation about your aurora, spirituality, politics, or whatever.
I can smile and say hello to 5 different people and get 5 totally different reactions. Outside of Portland, Oregonians have a southern hospitality and will at least smile and nod back no problem.
Oh man, as a northernr travelling in the south it took weeks to shake that. Strangers smiling directly at me usually means they are crazy and/or about to ask me for money, so people just being friendly because I'm a fellow human was a bizarre feeling
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes smiling at people can make them feel better. I smile at everyone.
I went out for an early morning walk yesterday in a very quiet green area. Smiled and said good morning to several people walking their dogs or going for a jog. Either got blanked or a weird look, and then I remembered I'm in London
I moved there two years ago and I absolutely agree.
Garbaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some countries yes. Heard from a friend who were in the USA for some time, that it's quite normal there. Here in Germany it is seen as weird (at least in cities. In the town I'm living in it is normal to greet anyone)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:43:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first job was a "Store Front" in front of Glamour Shots at the mall. For reference, I'm a female and at that time, 15 years old. My job was pretty much just to say hello and be nice to everyone who walked by, and show them some of our photography packages and specials to those interested.
Well one day, one older (mid 40s to 50s) and short (I'm 5'4, he maybe 5'2) man charged up to me and demanded "Why did you smile at me like that?"
Honestly, I didn't even remember smiling at him in particular, but there were so many faces that I assumed I must have. Totally caught off guard and confused by the hostility, all I managed was, "Excuse me?"
He repeated the question angrily and I was still fumbling for an answer. All I could do was apologize and explain I was just trying to be nice.
Over here in England, it's not very common, you'll get the occasional smile from others, but it's not very common. Like for example, I was out the other week, coming back from the gym and I was just walking, head up, music in and smiling at people who looked at me, some smirked, some smiled back, some didn't.
I guess it depends who you're smiling at and how they're feeling or what kind of person they are.
Californian here. It's not that I think someone is going to abduct, rape, or kill me, but I just don't particularly like talking to strangers. Also I live in a big city and the bus stops are prime real estate for aggressive homeless people and drug addicts.. It's honestly smarter to not get caught up in any of that.
Totally agree with you there. All the larger cities such as Sandiego, SF, Santa barbara, LA, etc., are all rife with homeless people, druggies or tourists, which will probably be the only people to approach you, and all three being none of the ones I want to have to deal with.
TELL THAT TO MY BLEEDING RETINAS! GOD DAMN PEPPER SPRAY!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends think it's bizarre that I like talk to random people I meet.
I like to meet new people
tacmiud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't talk to strangers on the street, but I'm a university student living in a big city. The only people that aren't happy to just keep to themselves are almost universally either trying to sell you something or begging for money.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People probably try to avoid that because most were raised with the "Don't talk to strangers" rule, and are afraid that every stranger just wants to rape or murder you. That's how they were raised. That's how I was raised, and because if that I've become almost as paranoid as Tumblr.
Yeah, but here's the thing: What if I just don't like talking to people? Why would I ever want to talk to somebody that I've never met before without a reason for it?
True, but I don't think it should be socially unacceptable to NOT want to talk to anyone out in public. Sometimes I just don't wanna be social, I should be allowed to stand at a crosswalk without being obligated to respond to every person that talks to me and pretend to be polite when 99% of them are trying to strike up a conversation by commenting on my appearance, which is rude to begin with, regardless of intent
wntf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:56:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but maybe i am when you say the trigger word. you never know
I've lived in Texas for almost my entire life, and I can tell you that this is not a stigma here. It's considered polite to smile and nod at people around you, even a "how ya doin," as you walk near passersby on the street.
Where do you live? I'm in Texas, I smile at pretty much everyone. I don't always get smiles back, but if it brightens at least one person's day I'm happy :)
I must look like a fucking idiot then because I smile at everyone! (Most days, it's a Catholic guilt thing)
Ferelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This also depends on what part of the world you're from. My mom was from Tennessee, father from Brooklyn. Their approaches are different. I tend towards polite smiling and small talk myself. I know in certain other parts of the world it's frowned upon- I hear Britain and Scandinavia you'd get odd looks.
Yeah im English and when strangers smile at me i think theyre taking the piss somehow
Ferelar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. I smile at most people indoors (at a business etc) but if I'm walking down the street I usually keep to myself. A bus stop? I'd probably try to TALK to people. Would I be crucified?
I'm English and I always always without fail smile at people as I walk by them. When I was at school it was kind of sweet seeing the same 'regulars' on my walk home and conversation eventually coming with it. I've read a lot of stories online about how it makes people feel nice to be smiled at by a stranger, but equally ones where it's creeped them out, so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Finland and Estonia you get downright dirty looks. It's been explained well, though, someone put it beautifully: we don't waste words. And small talk is a waste of words. Same with the smiling: when someone starts smiling at you for no reason on the street or in a place that's not made for socialising, we assume that you need something from us or have are not entirely trustworthy (thanks for that, Russian cultural influences). But apparently while it's a massive culture shock for the Westerners who visit, many have come to enjoy the effortless quiet.
I also used to work in a bar that had many exchange students, tourists or expats visiting and I was constantly astonished by how noisy American clients were, noisy as in endless chatter, like a flock of small passerine birds let let loose.
Ferelar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:26:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Yes, I could see how that'd get annoying if it were constant. I'm certainly very good at not nattering away, at least for an American. I'm quiet in general, but I do like to strike up nice meaningful conversation (I wouldn't say "so nice weather we're having", but I might point at a beautiful mountain in the distance and say "What can you tell me about that mountain?"). I could see how that'd get annoying (kinda touristy) but I like to speak with people from each area I visit. Unlike the weather conversation, I think that's no waste at all. On the flip side I'm comfortable with a half hour of silence easily. It's part of being partially a northerner, methinks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that is perfectly alright. I suppose it's largely about the time and place, too. An actual, relevant conversation is seldom looked down upon.
Ferelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, that's much better then! From stories I'd heard that if you struck up conversation with a stranger you'd get odd looks pretty much regardless. I'm sure that's more of hyperbole though. I would like to go with a few friends of mine to Sweden later on in the year, so I was fairly curious.
Canada is awesome. It's rude if you don't talk or smile to strangers in my area.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find better reactions when I do a slight nod in addition to smiling. Not sure why that's more socially acceptable to people, but it seems like it is.
I'm on the fence on this one. There are days where I definitely don't want to make eye contact with anyone. For the most part, though, I'll try to be polite.
I do my best to at least smirk at someone, hold the door open even if they're a little far away, walk quickly across the street and give a polite waive of "thanks" for not running me over, waive of thanks for letting me into a lane in traffic when I've got my blinker on, etc. It's not really that hard to do. I'm American, I was born and raised in Florida, and I get some of the craziest looks when I'm polite.
When I was 14 I smiled and nodded at a guy on a bike that was passing by when I was coming back from 7-11 with my buddy and he took that as disrespect. He thought I was mocking him or something and took a U-turn and got in my face. He must have been high or something and started slapping me around. Eventually a car full of people drove by and yelled his name to get in the car and they all drove off laughing. Now I just keep my head straight and only nod and smile if they do first.
I tend to wave at strangers from car to car, as well as smile. It just seems like a nice thing to do, maybe warm up somebody's day. It's not like that will instantly give them road rage. My girlfriend hates it when I do that kind of stuff though. Never understood why.
Maybe it's just because I live in a small town in a state that is known for its niceness, but if I'm on a walk or bike ride I assume I'm going to be talking and be nice to someone. If I pass someone and neither of us say anything it just feels wrong.
Don't know if it's socially unacceptable l, but I just starting doing this (mostly at girls) and I was really surprised how many smile back (some don't, but most do). I wish I would have learned this incredible trick when I was single.....
It's a little weird and after living on the east coast I stopped doing it, but whenever I smile at people they either look the same or get happy and smile back. Pretty good end result regardless, it might help that I'm a petite harmless looking female
Sometimes a baby just stares you down in that stupid cute baby way and you have to smile and wave back
And sometimes you get these moms/grandmas with "can I speak to the manager" haircuts and they look at you want to steal their diaper wearing baby away whisk them away to the labrynth and try to lure their daughter named Sarah in to marry you.
I'm just being human!
Donahue2 ยท 239 points ยท Posted at 17:34:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing hats indoors.
What the fuck do you care if I have fabric on my head?
It's a weird western thing. In the west you take your head coverings off as a sign of respect. In the middle east and sometimes further east you cover your head as a sign of respect.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:31:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been under the impression that this is because in Western traditions, hats are worn outside to protect from the elements. Like they had the purpose to get wet in the rain or get dusty in the Summer, so they were always one of the dirtiest accessories. Don't want that getting in the house; though they don't quite have the same utility today, it's just another tradition.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But we wear our shoes inside?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:54:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In public, yeah. I never do at home and anytime I go over to someone else's house everyone has their shoes off, too.
who beside americans wear constantly their shoes inside? i really do not know anybody. it would enlighten me if someone could tell me which countries beside america do it
I'm slowly losing my hair and keep a hat on at the table to prevent a stray hair from hitting my plate while eating. At my grandmother's house though, it's like I showed up with a stripper or something the way they respond to me trying to wear a hat at dinner.
I thought it was because you wear hays outside. If you wear one inside, it indicates that you're not going to stay long. Implying that you don't like the company you're in.
A touk/beanie I have no problem with, but a brimmed hat will shadow your face too much once inside and make it hard to read the social cues you display. Also, it extra hides your face if we're sitting next to each other at a table, and can inhibit my view of the next person down.
adaminc ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:20:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should try installing this new thing called... electric lighting. It really brightens the place up. If you can't see people with hats on after doing this, than you have a vision problem.
[deleted] ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 20:47:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've worn the same camo cap from sun up to sun down for the last year, and a Napa auto parts cap before that regardless of where I am. In the garage, in the field, indoors, at the table, ECT. The only time I take my hat off on someone else's accord is during the national anthem. Other than that you can't tell me not to wear one. If not being able to see my eyes makes you blind and deaf to my other "social cues" (my voice being a big one) than you have a problem.
Non verbal cues are a big part of socialization and communication, and I'm not saying it leaves me completely socially blind, I'm just pointing out there are actual reasons why it's polite to remove one's cap indoors. I'm not telling you not to wear it, I'm just saying it's kind of rude. I don't believe I've ever told anyone to remove their hat, ever.
I had a teacher at my community college demand that I take off my beanie in her class because she prefers 'traditional' rules of the classroom. I told her that, traditionally, women were only allowed to teach grade school for next to nothing.
Just explain you are sensitive to light due to medication or something. I do, it works (actually, my eyes ARE really sensitive to light due to a genetic trait, so it's a valid excuse here. I can't even be outside without sunglasses, it's actually painfully bright to me. Sometimes it's too brightly lit indoors too, so I keep the glasses on, but I try to stick with something low-key like clip ons instead of the ridiculous oversize plastic sunglasses.
I hate it when people wear sunglasses inside. How am I supposed to talk to you properly when I can't even see your eyes? At least if we're outside there's a reason to wear sunglasses.
"What (the fuck) do you care" is a phrase which here means "Why do you care?", used rhetorically.
absump ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:30:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to have been used that way here, but isn't it a claim (that someone does not care) rather than a question about why someone cares? Examples: "It's raining, but what do I care? I'm off to the beach anyway." "You can go to the police and tell them that someone was wearing a blue shirt, but what do they care? It's not illegal to wear a blue shirt."
Kids using swear words.
When people get upset, in many languages we accentuate that frustration by adding extra vocabulary or sounds our sentences. In English, we can kind of "save face" by using "tamer" substitutes (darn for damn, etc), then it's safe to assume nobody is really that offended. What I find silly is that the context that resulted in the outburst and the feelings behind it doesn't change, and yet we're more offended by a choice of words than the behavior itself. When I have kids, I feel the only reason I would teach them not to use swear words is just to keep them out of trouble from other kids' parents and school.
That's a good point. Acceptance can be effectively disarming sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect example is the french and alcohol. French teenagers aren't out getting blasted as often because they've had easy access to alcohol since they were kids and learned to drink responsibly. Plus a lot of the allure of it being "taboo" is gone.
My dad didn't mind me swearing much in the house and it ended up with me getting past my "swearing because it makes me sound cool" phase much sooner. I was able to properly use them long before anyone else and now all my peers sound like dumbasses that swear uncontrollably...
Viiri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my main language swearing can also be used when you need a bit to think about what you're going to say in place of uhh or the likes. It's common with teens and a bit older people. Fucking speech can fucking sound like fuck this, but it sounds a bit better since there's an universal word that can be used in all sentences in all places, even as a verb. Vittu is the word.
My son is twelve and I don't care if he swears around me. He doesn't do it often and as long as it is just us I don't mind. Kind of hard to punish the kid after hearing me mother fuck the shit out of something I'm working on around the house.
Lol! I wouldn't have made the assumption that you were trying to be a sarcastic asshole unless you had made it absolutely clear to me, I'm kind of stubborn that way!
My parents always swore in Italian. Makes it a lot easier when you can swear in a different language and no one will know. As a result, I don't think I ever really felt the urge to swear in public once I got it out of my system the first week or so. Even if I did though, chances are most kids/parents wouldn't know what I was saying anyway.
Exactly! My apathy towards swearing stems from teaching kids how to speak English, and teaching them not to swear in English speaking countries. They throw around bad words in English as a joke, in front of peers, teachers, adults... because they've heard it in the media, but they can't comprehend the gravity of it because swearing in their own language is ambiguous and the word literally has no other use than an exclamation of frustration. It just makes me wonder, what is it about those words specifically that we find so offensive versus the actual anger/hate/frustration that they represent? It's like we assign all those feelings to the word and punish the kid for saying the word. But in doing so, aren't we just telling them that we care more about what comes out of their mouths than how they are feeling or what inspired them to say it in the first place? It just seems like misplaced judgment to me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this. Funny how we teach kids how they shouldnt swear yet they grow up to swear anyway. I dont understand the big deal
My parents called them "adult" words instead of swear or bad words. That way my parents could swear like sailors if they wanted to and I couldn't argue about it. Adults can say them because they know when and where to use them. Kids can't because they don't know the rules yet. I was able to say damn at home by 13. By 15 my only rules were, "don't say them at school or in front of Grandma." It's not hard.
Ah, but if we didn't keep them taboo, they wouldn't give any release of frustration when we needed them. I tell kids not to waste the swearing on minor things :)
Kids should be learning more vocabulary, and swear words are OK to be part of it. If swear words are all their adjectives and adverbs, I see that as a problem.
I think we idolise the innocence of childhood and we consider swearing to be anything but innocent. When a child says some kind of swear word, we feel it as a corruption of innocence. I always feel sad when I hear a young kid swear because I think they should have some years without it.
That said, I work in a school and I'm well aware of the filth that teenagers spew on a daily basis so I'm not under any illusions. I also agree with /u/Towelbit that acting hypocritically is bad which is why I applaud my friends who are new parents for effectively cutting it out of their home and asking their friends not to swear around the kid.
Washington State has a "mutual combat law" where disputes between two parties can be resolved by a fair fight. Police are not allowed to intervene in these fights. So long as the fight is consensual and not in a public space where bystanders can be hurt it has legal precedence.
And that is why WA is the best fucking state in the country.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:57:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to contact a representative of Louisiana to try and get something like this passed here. That's freaking awesome.
There's a reason why dueling was banned. There are innumerable situations into which someone can be effectively forced into a "consensual" duel, and it ultimately creates a more dangerous society.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, why am I being downvoted?
Hold on, why does it say there are two comments? One is at -1 and the other is at 6
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:41:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wait, I see, the reddit gremlins made me post the same comment twice. I'm not sure why that happened, but yeah, I didn't do that for karma. Not everything is about karma, bub.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently only Washington (the state) and Seattle (the city). Not very widespread, but it's something. I kind of want to make this a thing in my state though. It just seems like something cool to have.
George Carlin sums up my feelings on prostitution pretty well:
"I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? I can't follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people! In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm! Maybe I'm not supposed to understand it..."
This is a big one. If the industry was legalized it could be taxed and regulated. The workers and the customers would be much more safe and have a chance at a fair cut/price. If you think it is immoral don't buy it, just like any other vice. Pretending it doesn't happen doesn't help anyone.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. People who are against it are all about the abuses and bad things that happen, which do happen, but imagine if sex work was regulated. There would be labor laws in place to help those in distress, much like there are laws protecting basically any other type of worker from being abused and harmed in the workplace.
But, you know, sex, so it can't happen.
I find it funny that people against legalization of sex work usually have religious ideas about sex even without being religious. There's a whole lot of stigma about it, and I think it's time for us to be over it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a Russell Peters joke:
Indians are the most hypocritical people in the world. Nobody ever wants to talk about sex, but we have the second largest population. SOMEBODY'S FUCKING!"
Not saying I agree with this argument, but the reason it's illegal isn't just because selling sex per se is bad (although that is part of it for sure). It's also that a lot of the stuff that comes with it is bad, human trafficking being the most well-known example. Of course, some people argue that the best way to do away with these related issues is just to legalize prostitution and then regulate it, but it's complicated.
ceetc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:06:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine it would be harder to essentially kidnap women from poor countries and force them into brothels in the United States if said brothels actually had government oversight.
I'd say it's not even about being overseen so much as providing sex workers with legal avenues to assistance. If they're being hurt, or see a shady business practice going on next door, they can't say anything or else THEY get in trouble.
Sadly I don't think sex trafficking will end for a long time, just because there's so much money and motivation involved, but taking the sex industry out of the dark would help immensely.
they cut the part where bran warged into hodor to get some pussy and the part where he warged into his wolf to get some wolf pussy. #GOTfacts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha! That reminded me of a Nick Swardson bit... He said he wants to complain to a waiter that his food tastes like wolf pussy just so the waiter will go "Oh My God, what?! Wolf.. I'm so sorry, let me get that. How do you even... Never mind, just let me get that I am so sorry!"
[deleted] ยท 249 points ยท Posted at 15:08:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi my name is ImCuden, m/30, I'm a recovering giant slut, 12 years this year.
[deleted] ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 15:25:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you regret getting married at 18?
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:31:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're not married but as far as the state is concerned we are considered and have the benefits of a married couple by law, don't even know how to call it in English, as far as regret goes, there isn't any.
You'd call it a common law marriage. Basically, you two have lived together, mixed assets, and call each other spouses. Every place has different rules that dictate what constitutes a common law marriage, but where I live, that is what is required to be called married without actually getting married.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:42:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's not an accomplishment. It takes work to be a manwhore. You have to be really confident, funny, and dominant to successfully get a lot of girls.
All a girl has to do is show a modicum of interest and she can get sex.
I was trying to make a joke. Women who get sex are a lot more likely to be slutshamed and called, "whore" than a man who gets the same action.
There was a recent news story about people being caught in a threesome in public. The woman was named and shamed, but the men were not. Lots of people on social media knew who the guys were, but they were too busy giving high fives to doxx them. But they were all participating in the same sex act.
I am encouraged by your use of the word "manwhore" however.
No, for a man im pretty sure its like a "7" before you are guaranteed to leave with anything...and even then sometimes you wake up next to swamp creatures
and even then sometimes you wake up next to swamp creatures
That's pretty much the point people are making here. Unless you are just completely hideous, its pretty easy to go out and get laid if you don't have any standards. I'm a average looking middle aged dude that could stand to lose about 25 pounds, but I can pretty much go out and hit the bars around closing time and get laid any time I want. But I don't because 1 - standards and 2 -I'm not a whore.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:46:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if 5 is average, 1-4 is below average and 6-10 is above.
Yes, that's how averages work. That doesn't mean 50% of people are below average.
People get rated 1-10 based on how good looking they are, and 5 is average looking, but that doesn't mean 50% of people are under 5.
In any given set of data, 50% of the data isn't going to be below the average most of the time. If the average wage is 10k for 10 people, 1 of those people might earn massively below 10k whilst the other 9 earn slightly above, yet it will still average out to 10k.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:15:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what he said, though. I said that it's not true that fat/old/unattractive women can get any man they want just by showing up, and he said that that was a myth. His words.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men can as well. My ex-boyfriend's best friend who is overweight, unattractive, and has a god awful personality hooked up with over 20 women from Craigslist.
In my experience, the only way men hook up with women on Craigslist is by paying for it, unless it's really obscure fetish related.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm not saying the pickings are going to be good. He got chlamydia from one. It can definitely be done, but the girls are most likely not going to be attractive and there's going to be risks.
when did I say any? No her odds would be lower but she would still get takers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is that an accurate representation of the average woman?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once again, that's not what he said. He said that young women can get laid just by showing up, and the rest (fat/ugly) doesn't matter.
kmutch ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:36:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not any one they wanted but they can most likely find someone. If you're ever at a bar at closing time watch people do this mad dash where they have to find someone. It's hilarious.
The only reason we have that option is because of men though, so blaming us for it is still pretty retarded. If you deal a woman one card, and that's the only card she has to play, don't get mad that she plays it. You gave it to her!
Sounds like you have a bad view of it, the way you put it. But hey, if you don't, that's awesome. There are a lot of men who think that legitimately though, especially the type who sleep around with lots of women, which is why I find it so ironic. I mean if guys want sex without commitment, a slut is just giving them what they want. But hey, it's envy. There really isn't a logical way to look at it. It's just jealousy. But still I think it's fair to point out that women can only do this because it's what men prioritize. I'm not hating on men, I'm hating on men who have contradictory standards.
That's not really a given, though. I mean, right now. Yeah. But it's, in my view, a cultural artifact. Maybe even driven by stigmatization of sex that affects one gender more. I think the more liberal with sex we get in general, the less thirsty dudes will be and the more even the 'accomplishment' becomes.
Also true: A man has a right to be turned off by a woman who sleeps around.
psymunn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:44:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As does a woman about a man. It just gets rediculous when people want to sleep with a lot of women but aren't mature enough to deal with the fact that those women could want the same. Every man isn't going to get 72 virgins. The math just doesn't work
man sleeping around =/= high fives from me as a man. I've seen that it usually takes a lot of emotional manipulation and insincerity to be a man slut. I don't value that bullshit in anyone.
Well it's kind of a self-fulfilling thing. Girls have it taught and reinforced their whole lives that being promiscuous is shameful... so of course there are less women that are promiscuous.
Plus, when we do decide to be promiscuous, the risks are higher and the rewards less likely. If there's an accidental pregnancy, we have to deal with the abortion or pregnancy. But our chances of having an orgasm with a new partner are around 13%, whereas a man's are closer to 80%.
I originally read it in What Do Women Want?, but this article says it's only an 11% chance. I think that's within the margin of error. I can't find any corroborating studies online for men, but this article states that most men orgasm 100% of the time regardless of the circumstances of the sexual interaction, so while that's not the same information, it's something to consider.
And if you're interested in the topic, I highly recommend What Do Women Want? by Daniel Bergner. It's full of really interesting studies of female sexuality, and it's written in a very accessible tone.
Okay, I respect your comment in a serious context. But, also; I want to run around, proclaiming my conquests in conversation, then when someone reacts negatively just yell; "STOP DIMINISHING MY ACCOMPLISHMENT!"
A pencil sharpener that can sharpen a lot of pencils is a good sharpener. A pencil that has been sharpened a lot of times is a useless tiny nub.
A random saying doesn't really prove anything.
Known_ ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 21:45:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not an accomplishment for a woman. You can pretend evolution doesn't exist and downvote me to shit, I really don't care. It was never a good thing for a woman to have children with any man she found, it was always a good thing for a man to do the same. It's basic evolution and people's mindset around it will never change.
One thing that has changed: contraception. Nowadays women don't have to get pregnant every time they have sex. But maybe your school had abstinence-only curriculum.
Gahtz2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes no difference for slut shaming, primarily because that ingrained biology extends to our behavior and perception towards women.
Your attitudes and perceptions towards women's behaviour come from biology? I can see that biology would dictate certain things like fear of heights, but not an abstract concept like slut shaming.
This evo psych bullshit is pretty soundly discredited. It looks at the sexual policies of the 1950s and tries to find an evolutionary reason for things to be that way, which is bad science.
Newer, better theories which look at physiological evidence and the behavior of other primates actually suggests that humans, especially women, are set up to be very promiscuous when we want to reproduce. You're right that our pregnancies are dangerous. In fact, they're more dangerous than any other primate. But one partner is going to give you just as dangerous a pregnancy as 20 will. The important thing is to make each pregnancy "count". There's an inverse correlation between partner count and infanticide among primates. Our males are more likely to kill a baby that is definitely not theirs than one that might be.
Then there's our genitals. Male genitals are mushroom shaped, perfect for scooping out the semen of other males, and some spermatozoa are specialized for killing the sperm of other males. Vaginas are acidic enough to kill unhealthy sperm, and the acidity levels change throughout the menstrual cycle to favor semen carrying different chromosomes, which shows that the "entryway" is capable of being selective on some level. Then there's the chemical "interview" that a fertilized egg has to succeed at before it can become implanted in the uterine lining.
It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there.
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank fuck for people with brains. Leave this thread and never come back. I feel like people who actually understand this don't waste their time commenting.
Known_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's basic evolution and people's mindset around it will never change." Can you even fucking read? It's SOLELY ABOUT MINDSET.
Maybe you should use more words. Your message is not clear to me here. Asking if I can fucking read does not contribute to this discussion. By the same token I should ask if you can even fucking state your position.
Yes, my comments are regarding the mindset of people. I was objecting to the mindset that says that it's "better" for a woman to be monogomous and "better" for a man to have sex with as many partners as possible. You said that evolution says these things are better for the overall reproductive success of the species. So I said this is not relevant in current time because sex and reproduction can be separated through the use of contraception.
At this point you said that I had missed your point, and emphasized your last sentence, adding "it's SOLELY ABOUT MINDSET". What does that mean? Do you mean other people will never change their opinion because it's ingrained from millenia of evolution? You don't seem to distinguish between other people and yourself, so this seems to be your opinion too. But I don't see why you need to emphasize "it's SOLELY ABOUT MINDSET."
People's opinions do change. Evolution would say that the biggest and toughest person gets to rule through force. But most places have some system of laws now. If I'm missing your point, please clarify. I really did read all the words you wrote.
Known_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you mean other people will never change their opinion because it's ingrained from millenia of evolution? " Yes that's exactly what I mean. "Evolution would say that the biggest and toughest person gets to rule through force." I think you misunderstand why I brought up evolution. If anything, evolution right now shows that this is not the case. I'm glad the phrase is "survival of the fittest" because it will always hold through in any context. I was saying that it is heavily ingrained in people that a woman sleeping around wrong because of evolution and that I don't think it will change for quite a while. Certainly not by typing "why can't women do it!" on a reddit thread, for example. I don't think I have to explain why it was bad for a woman to sleep with any man she could find from an evolution stand point.
Why so angry? You think everyone's against you? Just a few comments above people are saying, you know it's easier for women to have more sex versus guys. So don't think that all of Reddit is against you. Thus, you have not even a plausible excuse for responding the way you are. It's not civil. Are you trying to change minds?
And if you're not..... what are you doing? Are you so insecure in your belief that you have to loudly affirm it to convince yourself you're right?
Known_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not angry at all, you seem to judge a lot from me holding shift and typing. Judging by the fact that I didn't see a single comment in the entire thread and that my comment is -7 I haven't seen more than one person agree with me here. I type in caps only vs people who have trouble reading as it particularly annoys me.
You say a lot as if it's not conventional to type in all caps to convey serious emphasis akin/analogous to yelling. You're right that no one is upvoting you. Because you're not civil, and extremely dismissive. The kind of guy everyone would want to punch in the face in real life. You talked to me like that, I sure would want to.
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The kind of guy who talks about violence over the internet? Of course I don't talk to people that like that IRL but I honestly couldn't care. It suits me as a way of venting with the amount of stupid people one deals with on a daily basis. It's more than likely the amount of time I've spent arguing in youtube comments, shit gives you really bad expectations and habits.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a guy is born attractive into fame and fortune, then it's really easy and not an accomplishment either.
True, there are many factors that go into the equation besides 'are they male or female'? Many.
Nevertheless, while keeping this in mind you can acknowledge differences in averages. You should remember both at once.
Known_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That couldn't be more irrelevant to the point I was making. We're not talking about money, we're talking about basic evolution and why we naturally look down on women sleeping around and why it won't ever change. What percentage of people are born into such wealth that they can buy women? Not enough for it to be relevant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking about the "easy therefor not an accomplishment" point.
A wealthy and handsome man is still not looked down on, even though sex is extremely easy.
The evolutionary reasons no longer justify looking down on a woman, they only justify not being attracted to her due to her sex count.
This evo psych bullshit is pretty soundly discredited. It looks at the sexual policies of the 1950s and tries to find an evolutionary reason for things to be that way, which is bad science.
Newer, better theories which look at physiological evidence and the behavior of other primates actually suggests that humans, especially women, are set up to be very promiscuous when we want to reproduce. Our pregnancies are dangerous. In fact, they're more dangerous than any other primate. But one partner is going to give you just as dangerous a pregnancy as 20 will. The important thing is to make each pregnancy "count". There's an inverse correlation between partner count and infanticide among primates. Our males are more likely to kill a baby that is definitely not theirs than one that might be.
Then there's our genitals. Male genitals are mushroom shaped, perfect for scooping out the semen of other males, and some spermatozoa are specialized for killing the sperm of other males. Vaginas are acidic enough to kill unhealthy sperm, and the acidity levels change throughout the menstrual cycle to favor semen carrying different chromosomes, which shows that the "entryway" is capable of being selective on some level. Then there's the chemical "interview" that a fertilized egg has to succeed at before it can become implanted in the uterine lining.
It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there.
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've proved to know nothing about evolution. Amazing actually. So incredibly deluded I don't even know where to begin. I won't waste my any more of my time arguing with someone that far gone after this. "It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone" Do you understand evolution at all? You're acting as if it doesn't exist. Newsflash, it does and this isn't the case in nature. You know what that means? You're completely wrong. Evolution is something that can be observed right now if you haven't noticed. How can it "be more likely...acting on an evolutionary basis" if it isn't the case? Evolution actually fucking happened.
I'm not sure if you actually read anything I wrote. It's all based on evolution happening, just differently than you claim it did. Do you have any claims to refute anything that I've said, or are you just going to call me an idiot and keep repeating the one part of your argument that we both agree on?
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there." You're saying that this should happen because evolution. Yet it doesn't. Are you saying evolution didn't happen? Evolution pretty much decides everything, including this. So by saying "It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there." it has to be wrong. Unless you're saying evolution didn't happen?
I'm saying evolution did happen, but that it doesn't control us to the extent that you insist it does. Women do have urges to fuck lots of people. Plethysmiograph studies have shown that women have stronger reactions to the thought of sex with a stranger than men do, if they're given a reason to believe that it will result in an orgasm. Women are just less likely to act on those urges. There are a lot of theories and reasons why, but the most likely reason is a combination of socialization and the fact that our opportunities for risks and reward are skewed. A baby isn't a reward now like it was for most of human evolution. Now it's usually a risk. And since we're thinking creatures who make decisions based on more than our gut instincts and the level of moisture in our pants, we treat it as a risk.
I deplore that phrase. It's inapplicable because it implies that women's goal is to keep men from having sex with them. Sex is something that two people do together. It's not a game of cat-and-mouse where one person tries to beguile the other into sex while the other tries to keep it from happening.
That guy deleted his comment before I could respond to it, but I put a lot of work into my response, so I'm posting it here:
This evo psych bullshit is pretty soundly discredited. It looks at the sexual policies of the 1950s and tries to find an evolutionary reason for things to be that way, which is bad science.
Newer, better theories which look at physiological evidence and the behavior of other primates actually suggests that humans, especially women, are set up to be very promiscuous when we want to reproduce. You're right that our pregnancies are dangerous. In fact, they're more dangerous than any other primate. But one partner is going to give you just as dangerous a pregnancy as 20 will. The important thing is to make each pregnancy "count". There's an inverse correlation between partner count and infanticide among primates. Our males are more likely to kill a baby that is definitely not theirs than one that might be.
Then there's our genitals. Male genitals are mushroom shaped, perfect for scooping out the semen of other males, and some spermatozoa are specialized for killing the sperm of other males. Vaginas are acidic enough to kill unhealthy sperm, and the acidity levels change throughout the menstrual cycle to favor semen carrying different chromosomes, which shows that the "entryway" is capable of being selective on some level. Then there's the chemical "interview" that a fertilized egg has to succeed at before it can become implanted in the uterine lining.
It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it has to do with that. If you ask someone why they're against women sleeping around, I don't think they're going to cite the dangers of pregnancy. In either case, you could say that men who have lots of sex are putting a lot of women at risk of death so, if that is the reason, it could go either way.
I really think it just has more to do with archaic cultural and religious beliefs than anything else. My girlfriend's family is staunchly catholic and she isn't allowed to have sex, drink, or act any kind of unladylike whereas her brother can do anything he wants. I mean, a lot of cultures value women being "pure" for marriage.
Probably similar to the reasons that other religions in different regions believed in the concepts of multiple paternity (encouraging women to sleep with many men so their child will have many fathers to provide for it.) Or cultures which see sex as no big deal encourage engaging in it for fun from a young age, who build their daughters "love huts" to receive visits from potential suitors. Because it made sense at the time.
Sorry but I don't buy that for one second. Maybe a very niche group of people existed at one point that practiced multiple paternity but I doubt this was widespread or even a significant minority in any society at any point in time. You will definitely need a source on that, sounds like pure bullshit to be honest.
Thank you. I stand corrected. Very surprised that such a thing ever existed, as a man not wanting to care for children that aren't his own is the overwhelming norm in just about every civilization that has ever existed.
A direct link on that very page is an article which states that in cultures where extra marital sex was accepted, men would actually take care of their sister's kids because at least they know for sure that their genes are getting passed on.
It is true that in most civilizations, men prefer not to take care of children that aren't theirs. However, all primate males are less likely to kill children that might be theirs than children that definitely aren't. It seems like, (although this would be impossible to prove) when civilizations were forming, some took the idea of protecting children by obscuring their paternity and ran with it, while others tried to go in the other direction by encouraging monogamy. I wonder if it had something to do with the rates of infanticide in those areas, maybe connected to the efficacy of the enforcement of any laws that they had against it. If laws against infanticide are well enforced and rates of it occurring are low, a civilization wouldn't need to obscure paternity to protect the children. If the rates were very high, they would need to.
Like I said in my post... not that I feel that way lol. Not sure why I'm getting downvoted for throwing out a phrase that I've heard before when this subject is mentioned. I don't care if she's slept with 100 guys as long as she's clean and a decent human-being lol.
That's a pretty shitty analogy. It only holds if you already accept the conclusion. I can come up with several that make just as much sense, but would lead to different conclusions.
If you have a pencil that can be sharpened by any sharpener, you have a normal pencil; if you have a sharpener that will only sharpen certain pencils, you have a shitty sharpener.
A man who can ride any horse is a cowboy; a horse anyone can ride is a good horse.
A function that can be computed by any machine is a simple function; a machine that can compute any computable function is a Universal Turing Machine.
A man who'll dance with anyone is fun at a party; A woman who'll dance with anyone is fun at a party.
A better way for you to have phrased it would have been "look at it this way: ' I approve of promiscuous males, and I disapprove of promiscuous females.'"
drunz ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it is much easier for a girl to be a slut then a guy. Someone did an experiment where they had a relatively attractive guy randomly ask girls if they would have sex with him. 100 out of 100 said no. Then they did the reverse where they had an attractive female ask out males randomly if they would have sex. Around 70% of them said yes.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh... which implies that men are far more slutty than women if they're all saying yes and women have the dignity to say no.
Regardless, just because you can sex up a lot of people does not a slut make.
The point being made is that it's harder for guys to be sluts, exactly because most guys are down to pound at any given moment. Girls tend to be less interested in sex without some kind of commitment. The result of this is that it's generally easier for a girl to find a sexual partner at any given moment than it is for a guy to do the same (assuming we're just talking about heterosexuals, because that's what is most common.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how any of it is relevant though. It's easier for girls to sleep around, therefore, only girls can be sluts? That doesn't make sense. If you are a male or female, and sleep with a large amount of people then you're a slut. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Go slut it up.
It's not that only women can be sluts; both can. But it's only an accomplishment for a man since it's a lot tougher to be a slut than it is for a woman.
Girls tend to be less interested in sex without some kind of commitment.
Actually, it's probably a promise of safety and a high likelihood of orgasm that most women are looking for, not commitment. Plethysmiograph studies show that women on average experience more sexual arousal than men at the idea of having sex with a stranger, if and only if she's given reason to believe that it will result in an orgasm.
First of all, that was hardly an experiment. Those were YouTube videos. And the man kept approaching women and girls in groups, including with their families, whereas the woman only approached like, two groups, and neither seemed to be families. Plus, the woman was better looking than the man. He wasn't bad looking, but he wasn't as attractive as she was.
Second of all, when someone randomly approaches you the way that they did, it's pretty clear that something is up. If it's a prank or something, the guys who said yes had nothing to lose just by saying that. No one is gonna laugh at them for that. The girls, however, would pretty likely be mocked if they'd said yes.
There's some truth (although not as much as people claim) that it's easier for women to find casual sex partners than men, for a lot of complex sociological and sexual reasons (the fact that the first time with a new partner results in an orgasm for roughly 80% of men but only 13% of women probably hovers near the top of the list), but YouTube videos are not studies and don't prove much.
In nature birth is a very dangerous thing, especially for humans. A man may be able to have tons of children and it would never really affect health. A woman may be able to have one child all her life if the birth doesn't go well. So if a woman were to sleep with a bunch of men it would show that she doesn't care about here own health and the genes being passed down to her child.
In modern times it doesn't really make sense, since there are multiple ways to prevent a dangerous birth and birth at all, but there is a reason on why we developed these standards.
Edit: You guys could actually give a reason for downvoting, but whatever.
I guess it doesn't have to be, but I've mostly seen the word used to refer to women. There's way more sex shaming against women than against men (which cuts both ways, since it's lead to the harmful idea that men always want sex).
I don't usually see a single-word male equivalent (except maybe "womanizer", which doesn't have quite the negative connotation).
Bonus fact - in the early 1800s in Paraguay, this was pretty much law to try and homogenise the population and eliminate racism. They also tried to start a war with Uruguay, Argentina and fucking Brazil at the same time... Those were the days.
I had someone who I barely knew go the hell OFF on me for being a filthy immoral whore for having two (fully aware and consenting) partners. At the bar even.
Nothing wrong with matching along the sexuality vs. asexuality spectrum.
This is more an issue of someone going; "I am a normal, aculturated person who projects my lack of libido onto others and sees them as morally failed to puff myself up!"
You can be monogamous in a relationship and promiscuous when you're single. I'm 22, I've had six threesomes and 20+ sexual partners, but 0 new ones in the last 3 years. I've never cheated on a partner, or even come close.
hanzuna ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:28:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't heard anyone verbalize this, but it is relatable and commendable. Congrats on the 2.5 year relationship.
Thanks! Three years in September. And now that I think about it, I hadn't actually fucked anyone else since March of that year, so it's been three years since I had a new partner. I should edit that.
That's fine. Just know that monogamous and promiscuous aren't mutually exclusive personality traits. You can't be both at the same time, but you can be both.
Actually, being promiscuous is traditional in many human societies. Up to 70% of Amazonian cultures have believed in the principle of multiple paternity, which is the belief that the semen of each male you sleep with combines with your menstrual blood to form a baby, and the more men you sleep with, the more fathers your child will have to provide for it.
Then there's the Mosou practice of "walking marriages" which you would probably consider quite "slutty".
And of course, there's all of the cultures throughout history that practiced polygyny that I probably don't need to link you to.
Then there's the fact that human physiology doesn't make nearly as much sense for monogamy as it does for promiscuity. Males have mushroom shaped penises which can act as a scoop to remove the semen of other males, and they have spermatozoa which exist not to fertilize eggs, but to destroy unfamiliar spermatozoa. Combine that with the fact that there's a distinct inverse correlation between promiscuity and infanticide among primates (more partners, less dead babies) and the fact that human females have the most difficult and dangerous pregnancies of any primate and need to make every pregnancy "count", and it makes way more sense that humans aren't really set up to be monogamous.
Not that monogamy is bad. For the people happy with it, it's great. There's just no reason for it to be the default.
And your mean little wish for me is kind of ironic, since it would require either I or my partner to stop being monogamous, and you seem to be so in favor of monogamy.
p1-o2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+Respect for responding like a sane, civilized adult.
You know what, I did miss that. Do they have to be developed now, or can they be places that were the most developed in the world at the time? Because French nobility were famous for having mistresses and lovers for centuries. Plus the polygamy thing, which still stands.
In that case, how about America? People have been at least serially monogamous for more of American history than not. All that stuff about how people waited for marriage before the sixties is bullshit. It just used to be something people talked about less.
Not that this is really a good argument anyway. Lots of traditional things are bullshit. Like stoning people, and being allowed to fuck your wife even if she doesn't want to. I mostly played along at the beginning because I think the subject is fascinating.
You're saying interesting things, you should share them in a thread sometime that isn't going to be down voted because of the dummy you're responding to. I'm guessing you read Sex at Dawn or something?
What Do Women Want? By Daniel Bergner. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who is a woman, likes to have sex with women, likes science, or any combination of the three. Female sexuality is so pathetically understudied, (did you know that researchers didn't even start trying to map the entire clitoris until 1990? There's some debate over whether they finally succeeded in 2004 or still have yet to full map the whole thing) and this book talks about all of the amazing researchers striving to remedy that.
Also, thank you! :D
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:50:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it has a lot to do with society being basically retarded and thinking women should be sex objects but also pure and innocent. Obviously not all of society, but personally I only see older people have this mindset.
It is weird. Some people have the mindset that women are on earth to sexually please men, but they better not be having sex in order to do so, because that makes them loose, easy whores.
So you're saying there's no ill judgement by any even remotely significant fraction of public society when it's found out a woman's been with multiple partners just for sex?
And a lot of it has to do with the simple fact that it's easy for women to have many many partners and it's difficult for guys. In college I knew a handful of girls who got ran through by the entire baseball team. All they had to do was be at least a 7/10 and pretty much everyone on the team was down. For a guy to run through an entire womens softball team (assuming any of them were straight) he would have to look like Ryan fucking Gosling and he still would have a tough time as soon as a few of the girls found out.
It all boils down to the fact that guys will pretty much fuck anything that's decent looking. Yes, there are exceptions, but we all know it's true. Girls tend to be disgusted by other stuts and judge them way more than guys do. Girls also tend to be a little bit more loyal about not fucking someone their freind's have (and yes, there are plenty of exceptions there too)
So speaking from a practical standpoint, there's a reason why sluts get judged... because it's fucking easy to be a slut.
A woman can be pregnant with one man's offspring at a time. A man, however, can impregnate multiple women.
It makes sense, then, why that double standard exists. If a man is sleeping around, it demonstrates reproductive fitness. It shows that he is fit and capable, and raises his perceived value. It allows him to spread his seed with no disadvantages. On the other hand, there is no advantage to a woman sleeping around, because she can only carry one man's child/ren (twins, triplets, etc.). She doesn't benefit from sleeping around.
There's also the paternity issue. Women have an advantage in that maternity is very easy to determine. A woman knows a child as hers because she gave birth to it. The same thing is not true of men. Barring obvious signs such as race, a man cannot know if a child is his own, and men in general are not going to want to waste resources taking care of someone else's children.
Men don't want women to sleep around because they want to know the baby is their own. Women don't want to sleep around because they want to maintain the support of the father. Men, on the other hand, can sleep around because all that does is spread their seed without disadvantages. Women want men that sleep around because being able to sleep around is a clear display of sexual value.
As society evolved, this dynamic evolved with it into a set of taboos. It shouldn't be a surprise that there is a double standard, and as long as maternity is easier to prove than paternity, I would not hesitate to say that the double standard should remain.
Semirgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally speaking, the "single" gender of that triangle isn't cool with it, regardless of which gender it is.
Yeah that's my deal. When men hook up with a lot of women they are sex gods. Other way around and the girl is a total slut. As I say, sleep with who you want to, but do it safe!
My guess is the taboo part was the fact that a girl can get pregnant and be left on her own own to deal with the consequences, especially when the real father is unknown...all it takes is 1 time right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because then she's not considered relationship material or she's viewed as damaged goods by other men.
It makes sense if you take it as a forgone conclusion that a woman becomes inherently worth less with each person they sleep with, but a man become more admirable for the same act. Not everyone does.
Azertys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a pencil sharpener that sharpen all kind and size of pencil is a master pencil sharpener, sound stupid yet ?
Rhana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it have to be a girl? Men can be sluts too.
Can't confirm, am not slut, wish I was.
serosis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:43:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine putting your dick in another man's fleshlight.
Even if cleaned properly, there is a psychological effect.
As a guy, I don't think I could handle 2 girls. I'd have to be like "listen ladies, one of you is getting the short end of the stick here, and I mean that figuratively"
But the point stands. Let the girls do what they like, and who they like.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 16:38:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Having multiple sex partners is significantly different than someone broadcasting to others how much they like sex.
I have a problem with sluts because they're rude and annoying. I don't want to see some female's tits and ass out in the open. If I'm out somewhere, I'm trying to enjoy myself, not get turned on by someone. Cleavage is fine, but chicks walking around with short-short-shorts and a sports bra or equivalent is irritating.
There's a huge difference between a "slut" and someone who enjoys sex.
But....girls dressing sexually does not have anything to do with their sexual status.
A girl isn't a slut because she wears booty shorts of sports bras. She is most likely just confident in her appearance and wants to display her body. Women are allowed to dress how they want without concerning themselves over whether you'll take offense to it.
Seriously, you need to scrap that mentality that relates a girls appearance with whether she is a slut or not. And really, why the anger at girls who are perceived to be 'slutty'? Kind of seems like you archetype certain women with personalities that you don't like (annoying, rude) as sluts. That's pretty problematic behavior, dude. You need to let go of that anger and judgement towards a perceived group of people (there are no true indicators to how many sexual partners a girl has had unless she's explicitly stated it); it's not healthy and just contributes to the sexism women face in society.
A girl isn't a slut because she wears booty shorts of sports bras. She is most likely just confident in her appearance and wants to display her body. Women are allowed to dress how they want without concerning themselves over whether you'll take offense to it.
Or you know, it's fucking hot out and they're not allowed to be out in public without a shirt on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
k
twfu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Human mindset being that the body is a private place, so having it out in the open at locations where it's not warranted cause some judgement? Just my random thoughts, anyways..
Haaave you met Europe? I'm assuming you're from conservative America, because no. Most of the rest of the world--outside of oppressive religious areas--doesn't care much about nudity, much less shorts or sports bras.
Just because you and your local culture believes something doesn't mean it's a general human mindset (though, since you're regularly seeing women in shorts, seems like even your local culture doesn't agree with you).
twfu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. I'm wrong.
But I still imagine that is one of the reasons why those people are thought of as sluts.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:15:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
twfu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly. They don't. Seeing as you and I are not in those locations and are instead in the places that we currently reside.
I'm hoping that the slut movement gets some traction, so that people can stop being ashamed of it and actually show some pride and honesty in the way they are, instead of being sheltered and getting into relationships that are terrible for them because they somehow feel pressured to (men and women alike)
Because the second half of my sentence, about my feelings on female sexuality, would be less significant if I weren't straight and thereby affected by those feelings.
_iPood_ ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:36:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're all incredibly sexual little monkeys but have been taught that sex is bad, something to be hidden. Sex should be celebrated. Often and openingly.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:16:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mind me asking how many long term relationships (LTR) you've had?
I ask because although I've gone through some dating periods where I've had sex with a few people, it's never as good as it's been with my wife. And it's gotten better over time with her.
Also, being in a LTR is profoundly rewarding. We support each other, and we're going to have a baby.
I ask this of you, because I find all the advantages (better, more frequent, more reliable sex, stability, love) of LTRs to be better than the appeal of various vaginas. For me and my wife, exclusivity is an absolute requirement for us. Maybe not for other people. I think it's just how you're wired. I don't think any amount of new age thought will forever open up relationships. Some people are just more jealous than others, and we could not be in a polyamorous relationship - ever.
I know the question is asking "what do you think is OK", but with regards to your comment that I'm replying to: I have sex often with my wife, and we're open about trying all our kinks together. I disagree that having tons of partners is better for all people.
Personally do what you wan as long as you aren't spreading Disease or creating more little monkeys. And as log as you aren't doing it on the Denny's table in front of me and my child.
This is an idea I really struggle with, and I wish I could just get over it. Because really, really, what the hell does it matter if someone has been with a hundred people? From a disease/safety stand point it bothers me. Also being 'special'. I try to tell myself, it doesn't matter who someone was, it's who they are with now and who they are going to be with forever.
Same. Like rationally I know it shouldn't matter, but it does. I can't stop thinking to myself, "this girl I am dating used to be the girl who I would never have hooked up with because she was the easy girl at the bar". The whole thing bothers me and it sucks that it does.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:24:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to feel like I've earned something those girls were just giving away.
This is my approach as well. If I'm just a name on a long list of your sexual conquests then I have been nothing more than a tool for sex and attention. It may not be a popular point, but much of it has to do with self-worth. I feel better about myself knowing that my involvement with another person is the result of the way I have carried myself, rather than their need to fulfill basic sexual cravings.
It may not be a popular point, but much of it has to do with self-worth. I feel better about myself knowing ...
Kudos for being self aware and not trying to impose the "sex is magical" view. That is what I believe OP was going for when saying that being a slut is ok. It's not for everyone, but it's ok.
Well, if you're just a name, then sure. But even if you have a long list of sexual "conquests", not every one on there is just a name. Promiscuous people can still have intimate, important sex, as well as casual sex.
But it doesn't have to be a negative thing? Like, I used to love bein' like a gypsy and traveling around doing conventions. Now, I don't. Not because traveling around was bad or negative. My interests just changed (gardening is hard to do when you're not, ya know, there).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A high partner count doesn't mean an "out of control sex life", though. Sometimes I sleep with a lot of people when I'm single. Sometimes I pick one or two FWBs and only sleep with them. But the only time I've not been in control of my sex life is when I was raped. The rest has been good times and completely within my control. That's all changed, not because of anything bad (the rape happened pretty squarely in the middle of my most promiscuous period) but because I'm dating a monogamous guy and I just don't feel like fucking anyone else. (Not that I'd cheat on him if I did feel like fucking someone else. We'd discuss it and see what the best course of action for our relationship would be, whether it be opening the relationship, bringing someone else into our bedroom fur us to fuck together, or for me to just get over it.) I may never fuck anyone else again, and I'll be happy if that's because I'm with him. But if we broke up, I'd probably fuck a lot of people again, for the same reason I sleep on half a bed now, but I'd take up the whole bed if we broke up. It feels nice and I'd have no reason not to.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:16:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also said I'd be fine with not fucking anyone else ever, which you seem to have glossed over, and made it sound like monogamy has to be temporary for me.
I'm totally cool with you not dating promiscuous people, like I have zero stake in that, but the way that you talk about it really sounds like you have a lot of fucked up ideas about what it means to have sex with more than a few people in your life. I think those are pretty toxic attitudes to have, when it goes beyond personal preference and into judgement.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:04:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How so? I think maybe you are the one reading too much into something. In any case, let me be very clear: I have no intention of sleeping with anyone else for the rest of my life, unless my relationship with this person ends. If it ends, which I have no intention of seeing happen, then I'm gonna fuck a lot of people. But I'd really rather it didn't.
And I never said anything about "for now". I specifically said I'd be happy never fucking anyone else for the rest of my life.
I may never fuck anyone else again, and I'll be happy if that's because I'm with him.
You're right that I said if he left, I'd fuck a lot of other people. Why shouldn't I? What would I owe him if he left?
I'm only talking about fucking because that's the topic at hand. Do you want to hear about how much I love his laugh, and how talented he is? Do you want to hear about the way my heart rises when he goes along with one of my jokes? Do you want to hear about the way that I've planned to propose to him, or how incomprehensibly blissful I felt yesterday morning when we slept in and cuddled and watched cartoons for hours and hours? Because I feel like it isn't really relevant right now, but I can tell you. I can send you some of the poems I've written about him, or forward you some of the disgustingly mushy texts we've sent to one another. Just let me know. Actually, I'm honestly really hoping you will ask to hear more about my emotions for this guy, because after three years most of my friends have gotten tired of hearing about it, but I still really love to gush. So just say the word.
I do want to apologize if my last comment sounded antagonistic because I called your attitude "fucked up". I can see now how that seems kind of a harsh way to put that. But we all have fucked up attitudes, and I think it's a good idea to look at what they are and why. I've spent a lot of years assessing my attitudes on promiscuity and monogamy, but I still revisit fairly often. I just think it might be a good idea for you to asses your ideas on promiscuity and see if maybe they're a little bit more judgmental than they need to be.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Would you like me to find comments that I've made in the past about how much I love him? I delete all my comments after a week, but I talk about him a lot. I'm sure I could find something. I've also met up with some people from reddit who I've met in real life that can vouch that we're nauseatingly in love, if you need independent corroboration.
Or you could actually stop and examine your attitudes instead of assuming that my relationship must be in shambles because I like dick.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:28:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hoping that if you stop having that nitpick to cling to, you'll listen to what I'm saying, and you might be able to think about it. I think it's always good to be a little less judgmental about things that aren't hurting anyone.
Yeah, and I would love to hear any thoughts that you have about why your viewpoint is right and mine is wrong.
What's morally wrong with being promiscuous, though? Who are you hurting, if you're safe and honest?
I don't agree that change usually comes from negativity. Nearly all the big changes in my life have come from something positive. Even this topic specifically, I found someone who Id be very willing to compromise my wild sex life for. I don't want my awesome experiences to disappear and I don't find any negativity in being promiscuous... Or monogamous.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got examples of lots of other changes in my life that don't involve this example in particular. No, I don't feel anything was negative. That's your bias.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You made a sweeping statement about most change being due to negativity and you're trying to apply it to a complete strangers life- despite them trying to explain to you otherwise, yet it's me who is biased? You've mentioned in your other comments that you don't like people being promiscuous...so again, why is it me that's biased and not you. We just have differing views on that particular subject.
I could have been a promiscuous person having un-for-filling flings who felt it was negative and completely agreed with you, so the fact I'm promiscuous does not detract from what I am saying. I am telling you I do not believe changing/compromising at this point in my life is due to negativity. I'm happy to carry on as I am or settle a bit depending on where I am later this year.
I disagree with you, we have differing opinions. You're rationalising your negative theory plenty and also making wild assumptions.
I did just say to you that I have lots of other examples of change coming from something positive, which you ignored.
Your last question does not address change coming from something negative, it addresses the difference between being promiscuous when single and cheating on someone.
I believe most change doesn't come from something negative or positive, most my life changes came from something positive- however I am not saying this applies to all. I disagree that most change comes from something negative.
Some might believe that there's an undercurrent of guilt.
Your statements are just telling of your world view and have nothing to do with me. I find guilt in having my clothes made by slaves in Pakistan, I find guilt in knowing an animal lived a miserable life so it could be killed and eaten by me...I do not feel guilt about having very enjoyable consensual sex with people I count as great friends of mine- or any of those I'm less close with.
Nobody deserves to be slut shamed. On the other hand, don't expect people to accept your behavior as okay. Lots of people vehemently disagree with it, me being one of them.
Yeah, sure they should. And I'd never say anything to someone's face. But I definitely would never date someone who was "slutty" because I see it as distasteful and a showing of your character
Honestly, it's just a personal feeling. I can't explain why, which is why I feel no negative feelings to those who are open to casual sex, but I simply wouldn't date someone like that. I would feel nervous they'd cheat on me, or just leave me when they're bored. I need a real connection with someone and I need them to hold my same values, or I'll feel nervous about my relationship.
Just last weekend, my friend who is a girl told me her friend wanted to have sex with me. I don't know her well, but I said no because I wouldn't enjoy it. No insult meant to her, but I wouldn't enjoy it.
As long as they are being safe about it I don't really care. Most of the time though it is not the case. STD's and unwanted children, just what society needs more of!
gymcap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me its less about being a slut. I dont care what you do with your sex life thats none of my bussiness... But the people that hurt other people is my problem. The girls that date a guy and suck of 2 others and have sex with another behind guy ones back is not ok. Thats not "slut shaming" either. Common misconception imo. If your gonna be a slut dont let them think its a legit relationship because you might hurt them and even cause trust issues later in life. Some people get cheated on amd have trouble trusting anyone else in a relationship afterwards.
This was a psa and not directed at anyone in particular.
TL:DR if your a slut let the other person know before you hurt them...
but I imagine it's a huge hassle to be careful about that beyond condoms while still being anywhere near capable of meeting the criteria to be a slut
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get into arguments with my sister about this a lot. She is all "Well would you be ok with going out with someone who is constantly showing off their body on facebook". I really don't get what her point is meant to be, am I meant to be turned off by confidence?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. Yeah shes from the "It's not my job to educate you" school of debate. I'd rather drink bleach then try asking her to explain an opinion.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have the mindset in elementary school that girls where sluts or slutty. After growing up by the time I was in college, I grew out of that mentality.
I still know guys who will use that word to describe girls. I can only assume thay are still in that same immature mindset.
I had a period where I had 30ish partners in a little under a year. I would never judge someone who did the same. Safe, self respecting, respecting of your partners, and knowing the difference between fucking a new friend and doing more than that is the key to making it a positive experience. Being a slut is NOT the same as being shameless.
xDeezyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for the edit.
jen283 ยท 633 points ยท Posted at 14:00:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing my makeup in public. I just don't understand why people get offended by this.
Doc_Haus ยท 1342 points ยท Posted at 14:36:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, no one cares. Unless you do it while driving... in that case fuck you.
jen283 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:41:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, no, usually on the train to work when I sleep in a bit.
g253 ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 15:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In a train, some (very sensitive) people might be bothered by the smells.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:27:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
g253 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily, to be honest. There's trams and subways and there's trains, the latter are less stinky. This varies by region and country of course, but the point is that some public transport smells fairly neutral until someone opens something smelly. Or so I'm told, I mean to me it all smells strongly of "I don't care".
I believe foundation has a distinct smell to it. I could be wrong though.
jen283 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:21:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some do, it depends on the brand. Sometimes they put fragrance in to make it seem more luxurious but it's unnecessary and not good for people with sensitive skin.
It depends on the foundation. Mine doesn't have an odor, but some powder ones can be scented. Others have sunscreen which would make them smell. Other than scented lotion, I can't really think of a specific makeup that would have an odor strong enough to annoy people.
Fuck that smell. I hate it. Not many things bother me, but fuck the smell of liquid foundation.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you're wrong. I've never in my life been able to smell someone elses foundation. I can't even smell my own as I apply it. You definitely wouldn't be able to smell it enough to be bothered by it if someone else was using it on the train.
My wife uses something similar to this (she only likes Lancome because of how her skin reacts to other vendors). When I'm kissing her I can definitely smell it compared to when she's not wearing anything at all. It's not over powering or anything but it's distinct.. Then again I can pick up a whole lot of different smells easily.
g253 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and I are part of what is colloquially known as normal people. Some people however, have a ridiculously developed sense of smell, and will be nauseated by say someone opening nail polish five rows ahead. It happens. It's a thing.
Alagane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nail polish does have a strong smell. So long as it doesn't escape your personal space, do whatever. But to me nail polish is the same as eating spicy curry on the train, it smells and it's annoying.
Allergies exist too. My allergies can trigger if someone is applying certain spray perfumes/colognes in the same train car as me, and it's usually made worse when there's poor ventilation. Sorry, I know you want to smell pretty but I'd like to be able to breathe too...it's not that I want to be that asshole or something, but that's usually how it's perceived when I have to ask someone to stop, even if I explain allergies they tend to think I'm lying or something.
EDIT: I should also mention this applies more to people who basically bathe themselves in perfume, and not the single rogue spray.
Train? hell no, that shit stinks and makes me sneeze and feel unwell
jen283 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:20:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makeup? Are you thinking of perfume? Some makeup has a very light fragrance, but unless you're super sensitive to fragrance you won't smell it more than a foot away.
Maybe some of the powders get into the limited air? Idk just trying to see the other side. I'm a guy and don't use makeup. I don't care if you[General] put I eyeliner on a bus whatever girl do you. However if you're [general] taking a perfume shower Fuck you you inconsiderate bitch.
in that case, keep your eye on the stoplight so you don't hold me up when it turns green. also, don't try to apply it while you're moving, be safe!
FTFY
Okay. You didn't fix anything. You made it stupid. Just don't do makeup while you're driving. If you put on so much makeup that you need to do it while driving then you're wearing too much. Stop endangering me to look trashy.
the "f you" was unnecessarily rude, seeing as all she was doing was her makeup. You're right though, the applying of makeup shouldn't happen if its putting other drivers at risk
My gf actually cleans all her makeup brushes regularly with soap, idk how effective that is though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty effective if she's getting the old product out of the brushes. If she uses synthetic brushes it's harder for bacteria to grow on the bristles, but old makeup and skin cells help cultivate nasties and can lead to breakouts and stuff.
I do this and it confuses my boyfriend. It's just a skill. I can also put on mascara without a mirror which I've been told is weird. I've just been doing it every day for more than half my life. Anything you do that routinely should be easy in a car or without a mirror.
[deleted] ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 14:45:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lot of theater, and on stage you wear makeup so you can see my eyes when I'm 50 feet away from you. Eyeliner? Terrifying. You use a pencil to put it on! And sometimes you want the pencil to be sharpened I've gotten more comfortable with doing it and don't fear losing my eye but damn if I would put makeup on in a moving vehicle.
Sidebar. You look so nice with makeup on! I wish I was less lazy and it was more acceptable for doodz to wear makeup. Mainly the lazy thing is holding me back.
I used to do heavy color guard makeup on the bus headed to a marching band competitions back in high school. 3/10 stabbed self with mascara every time.
Right, just like I'd be concerned for someone who is spraying bug spray in their face while driving or something. I'm sure it can be done without issue, but you're distracting yourself and creating a hazard.
Being a lazy teenager meant learning to do my makeup on the bus to school in the morning. I had many a girl friend watch me in awe as I applied my emo eyeliner without fail while the bus bumped us all the way to school.
Oh it is an epidemic. On average, I see atleast three women swerving through traffic everyday, all because they are steering with one elbow and putting on eyeliner
jen283 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:41:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It tends to be more older women who get offended by it. But yes some people think that not going to the bathroom to reapply lipstick is, like, bad etiquette or something.
My mother got a comment once on what a lovely daughter (me) she has, but her manners could use some work(Chapstick, bro. It was Chapstick. And I've put on a hell of a lot more in public). I'm not sure where it originated but the general tone is that it's "impolite" though no one has been able to articulate why that is.
kelustu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People aren't supposed to see the effort women put into looking beautiful--they're supposed to look naturally beautiful. I don't think it's something to get offended by, though. Everyone knows women put on makeup to enhance their features.
ac161 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:59:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is the main reason, people assume you're vain if caught putting on makeup in public. I've heard both men and women make fun of women for doing it because "they're so obsessed with themselves they always have to be applying makeup and can never show a bare face"
Lyeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also stems back to the time when make up was a very private thing. We're talking early 20th century, when women wore limited make up, but the act of putting it on was strictly a in the bed room/boudoir thing. Women were secretive about what products they used and they were marketed as such. Hell, rouge and scent were sold under the counter from a pharmacist essentially.
Why it's such a to do when this idea of make up being a woman's secret is completely gone and you walk into Target and are accosted with rows and rows of various make up and products. Which is fine, but it just means none of this is a secret.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:07:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not make up, but being a male with long hair trying to brush your hair in the gentlemen's toilet you always get chastised with angry stares, tuts and sarky comments. Mans gotta brush his hair from time to time!
go nutz! do your make-up, but fully expect me to stare at you while doing the eye areas because i am secretly watching to see if you stab yourself or make a bad mistake and dont notice so i have some form a "normality" in my life. :)
Shadax ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:24:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live that this is taboo? I see girls doing makeup in public all the time and nobody cares.
jen283 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of one of those outdated etiquette rules like "don't put your elbows on the table." I've met very few people who actually have a problem with it but it comes from the "you must always act a proper lady" type of people.
wee_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please just don't do it in your car during morning rush hour while driving ten-under in the passing lane.
People get offended by you doing your makeup in public? I mean, as long as your not doing it while you're driving and being all distracted, why would anyone care?
I usually take my makeup with me to work and put it on in the bathroom just because I drive myself. If I carpooled or took public transit though, I'd probably do it then. If it bugs anyone, fuck 'em, it's not like I'm throwing glitter in their face.
PigSlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're not also driving a car at the time, I can't think of a time when I've been offended by that.
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're in the subway and cocking out your elbows and taking up space, then I might take issue with it. Mostly though I just feel anxious when you're putting on eyeliner and the train is jostling around and I'm certain you'll stab yourself in the eye.
I as a man do salute in front of you, if you can do the makeup in public. I tried, for a DARE, to follow the tips of the GF's magazines.
Since then, I have massive respect for all the people who can put on makeup and make it look good... and YOU CAN DO THAT IN PUBLIC????? Most likely whil moving? And with people looking? I nearly blinded myself permanently on multiple occasions....
Many girls did that in South Korea. At first it irritated me but only because I've never seen girls doing it in public before. Don't know why this should bother anyone.
just... not on a train. i don't why this bothers me so; but you (the make up applier) look like a freak and we all contain our preparation in our bathrooms, why can't you? really though it shouldn't bother me. it's not like foundation makes me sneeze.
Do people not like this?? When I was doing chemotherapy I had like 9 hour sessions that started at like 7 am so I would show up in pajamas or something, having just rolled out of bed, and then wait until I was more awake and put my makeup on in the chemo room with all the other patents and nurses in there. It saved me time in the morning and killed time during long ass chemos so fuck it lol I say do your makeup wherever you want.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends, if you're one of those people who go spritzing fucking perfume all through he bus, fuck you, sincerely my sinuses.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I enjoy watching a girl put on make-up. My girlfriend used to always fuss at me for staring at her while she was getting ready. That being said, I fully support you putting make-up on in public, as long as you support me staring at you while you do.
Not offended by this, but as a girl I would never do this. I put on make up to cover up thongs I don't want people looking at and draw attention to thing I want people to look at. Why the hell would I showcase my efforts in public? I don't want you to know I work hard to look good.
The only time doing makeup in public bothers me is when someone is driving a car. Parking lot? Cool. Gas station? Fine. Mirror at the restaurant washroom? Have a blast. Do not be the person lining her waterline at 70mph in morning rush hour.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more offended that you feel the need to put makeup on. I don't.
I don't get offended at people putting makeup on in public. I just think makeup in general is really fucking stupid.
bortnib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i watched a girl pull a tissue of her powder compact and use it to smear powder on her face. that kind of grossed me out a bit
Juus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't whip out your own chemistry set to do you nails, then i don't mind. I've smelled the stench of acetone in public transportation and even once in a restaurant.
Moomium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, people get offended by this? I got through my makeup routine on the bus this morning quicker than usual, so I spent the rest of the trip watching two or three other women do their makeup.
MiaK123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get offended by it, but I'm definitely judging you and the fact that you can't wake up at a proper time to do that at home. Who wants to carry around all that stuff to work/school? And you look downright silly trying to pull that off on a moving train/bus.
Also hate it when women do this in the public bathrooms. I'm just trying to poop in peace and now I have to "politely" wait for you to finish doing your makeup. Ugh, women's bathroom etiquette.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck anyone who does this. It smells like pure shit and we really don't need to smell it.
That's ridiculous. If anyone criticizes you for something silly like that, stab them in the eye with your eyeliner and force them to eat their own shit... that may be a little much, but as far as I'm concerned, silly, sensitive, offended people can eat shit.
I'm generally ok with you doing whatever you want, as long as it doesn't affect me. Don't demand space for 3 in a full train thought. Also, my eyes are really sensitive. Idk why, that's how they are. So, while things like lip stick, eye liner, mascara etc are fine, I can't stand that other dusty thing. Or hair spray. Apply hair spray 10 feet away and my eyes turn to waterfalls.
Thought it'd be more of a shame for the woman, she is basically announcing she has to apply paint to correct her face. Go to a large city and a lot of women do it on the subway, as long as you don't see anyone that knows you, you're ok.
[deleted] ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 16:12:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Standing alone in a corner and just observing. For some reason, many people still think introverts are socially awkward. I relish in the opportunity to be by myself at large gatherings and not saying a fucking word to another human being. Call me weird but watching extroverts go about their business while not being directly or personally involved is actually a pastime of mine.
I'm not a huge fan of watching people, but sometimes people talk so loud that I end up closely following their conversations. Sometimes they eventually get to a topic that I'm knowledgeable about and I want to butt in and say something, but then I remind myself that I don't know these people and I'm not actually a part of the conversation.
I don't seek out places to introvert, but sometimes when I am bored and alone, I start looking at the people around me and wonder what they are like, trying to deduce their personalities and whatnot. It is fun.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:00:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same. I've been called anti-social but I thoroughly enjoy watching people more than I do talking to them.
I also love just watching things. If I am taking a walk and I have nothing urgent to do, I will stop to look at ants, birds or whatever I see on the way. Sometimes in summer I just stare at little rivers as they flow. Your thoughts on random watching?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as I don't have to talk to another human, then it's fine.
I'm more of an extrovert, but I definitely understand that. It's interesting watching people go through life's motions. I can't imagine anyone judging you for doing that. Do they really?
If you've ever been to Italy/France cafe's litter the streets practically built for people to sip their cup for an hour and people watch; people watching is more socially taboo in america than Europe.
That's a little creepy though. From others perspective. Especially since people don't know what you're thinking while you're just watching them in silence.
3nine ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:15:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower is okay with me.
If you're showering and you have to pee, just pee in the shower.
Just don't pee on the walls or the doors/curtains,
try and aim straight for the drain to minimize side splatter,
and definitely don't pee in the shampoo bottle and I'm fine with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:36 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I don't care that they just saw some dude get torn in half by a flesh-eating zombie last night on TV, NO NUDITY!
mnh1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:00:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. It's a changing culture thing. People don't have kids as often as they used to, formula feeding was incredibly popular for our parents' generation, porn is more available than it used to be, and people are having kids later in life than they're to.
All of that means that most adults in areas where public breastfeeding is stigmatized weren't exposed to the concept as children, don't personally have any experience with breastfeeding babies, aren't around babies often enough for the sight to not catch them off guard, and formed their first memories of women's breasts from seeing them in a sexual context.
That makes seeing them being used normally very jarring.
It's also a social thing. I lived in Argentina for three years which is a very Catholic (Abrahamic religion) country, but its totally acceptable to breastfeed in public there. Once I got over the initial surprise and realized that no one cared it didn't bother me.
I don't have a problem breastfeeding. I think it is natural and an amazing gift to your child. From my experiences most people do not care if it is some what desecrate. When desecrate I have seen many people just walk past and not notice. When my son was young he was breastfeed in public a few times it was no big deal. But Most the time we could time it to do it in private. Babies very rarely spring it on you when they need to be feed.
I do have one breastfeeding story I have always had an issue with. When I was in college there was a small group of girls who made it a point to breastfeed in the middle of campus or the lunch room a few times a day. They would take everything off from the belt up. They would sit there for a hour or more naked from the top up even when not feeding and would do things like chase the kid around topless. When they got confronted they would say they where breastfeeding. I worked in the cafeteria as a line cook and clean up staff. We would get complaints a lot about them. Also when I would clean up outside I would come across them doing this.. a lot.
While I have no problem with women being topless in public. I think it is a nasty double standard. My problem was when I overhead them talking one day to each other in the lunch area. They did it mostly because they enjoyed voyeurism. It made them feel sexy when the young guys would look at them. The college had a program where highschool kids would come take classes. If there was not a baby there and they flashed highschool boys they would be labeled a Pedophilia. I never could understand why they could get away with doing this just because there was a baby within 5 feet. If they had been feeding I can understand it but most the time the kid would be playing or sleeping.
Once even one of them ordered food topless. waited for the food to be finished then went and waited in line to pay. Then she sat away from her kid and ate her food while her friends watched her sleeping baby. As far as I know this only happened once. They where talked to about it because of "safety" reasons. This also applied to guys who came in topless too FYI. It was just no one knew how to tell them with out getting sued there was a "No shirt, no shoes, no service" Rule. They wanted to sue the school over this. IDK if they ever did.
Side note, it is FUCKED up to hand express your extra breast milk into paper towels and leave them on the table for me or anyone to clean up. There is a trash can 5 feet away from you. Toss that shit away.
Well you are half right. Short version of the story.
My son was born and turned out to not be my bio son (unknown to me). I raised him almost all on my own from birth to about 4 years old. He was breastfeed mostly for about 6 months until she could not go any longer with out drinking and doing drug. She used to get upset with because she had not been able to get "Fucked up in over a year". Once I found out she was drinking/drugs I put him on the bottle. Then she just fell off the face of the earth for the most part until he was about 2. She would see him while being high maybe once a week for 4 hours to maybe 2 days. We started a custody battle because I found out she was;
1 doing drugs in front of him (meth and weed)
2 he walked in on her sex parties where she would be tied up getting spanked and railed by multiple guys.
3 she would lock him in his room
4 She also would watch BDSM porn with him.
5 she would sometimes leave him at the house by himself while she went to work or the bar.
6 She also would get hung over and not take care of him.
7 I would show up to pick him up he would be in a solid diaper wearing what I droped him off in and when he opened the door she was passed out naked in her living room.
8 I suspected her New boyfriend of molesting him
This is just some of the list. Had solid proof of all but number 8 did not have solid proof. His psychologist said she was almost sure of it. We reported it and nothing happened. Her BF would take him into the bathroom for a long time for "Potty Training" He was potty trained over year and her BF was still doing it. My son would freak out when you try to take his pants off, Also he had some redness in areas I took him to the Doctor and he noted it but the Doctor said it was not proof. He also wet the bed a lot over at her house. My he almost never wet the bed. I think once.
Once we finally got to court after she used every trick to make it take as long as she could, did not show up, switched lawyers and more. I lost custody because I was not the biological father. He was 4. I did not even get to say goodbye. I was not allowed to present any evidence. I have not seen him for a long time. So I guess your right I never had a child. However I did raise a newborn to 4 years old almost by myself.
Also that is why I put "very rarely" He fed about every two hours from new born until 6 months old. At that point he had snacks he could eat. Not a day goes by I do not miss him. There are some things I cant ever do again with out tearing up a little. If you want more on the story goes to some of my other posts on this account.
Thanks I stand corrected I have never had a child.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I read your story a few hours ago & wow, that's a bit fucked up. Since then I've thought about a group of young girls who have been victimized for the act of producing
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not eating. You're saying that a person eating is gross. That's just retarded. If you're not grossed out by anyone else on the planet eating, then there's no reason to be grossed out by a human baby eating.
Do you get offended when you see kittens nursing? Cows being milked? Piglets eating? Get the fuck over yourself.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's what they're there for. How can people be against it. Would they rather listen to a screaming baby?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:45:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to calm the fuck down. You were a baby too once and I can assure you you cried and screamed too. Babies need to leave the house, it's important for their mental development to be exposed to as many kinds of stimulus as possible. And we shouldn't shackle new parents to their home either. You're in a very small minority that hates babies. They don't cry and scream all the time at all. Whenever I see babies on the train or at the mall they're surrounded by strangers cooing at them and being happy. I don't even want kids and I love seeing babies. You sound so childish and immature. Crying babies are a part of life and have been for centuries. And as much as it would make you happy it's neither healthy nor feasible to keep them hidden away.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are actually. If you have no children, little siblings, nieces or nephews you wouldn't get it, but at some point there's no choice. Parents can't magically make their babies not cry. And most normal
mature people get that.
Kastoli ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:56:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this an American thing? I'm from Australia and I see it all the time, like, at least once a week. It's certainly not taboo here, mind you, neither is the word 'cunt' and from what I gather on Reddit, that's like killing someone's dog in America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's so hot therein the summer that you cunts probably see more flesh than that every day and get desensitized. I'm from a country where even in summer it usually only reaches 20 degrees. People still bring coats with them just in case. Very little skin on show.
IIRC, Idaho is the only state where this is not a legal right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same, usually catches my attention because I'm not used to seeing it but I just look away to give them their privacy. Rather have a boob in the corner than a crying baby.
I hate seeing breastfeeding in public where women whip out their tits and basically waggle it off like they have no dignity and their kid comes first and yawn, mombie talking.
I adore when a breastfeeding mother uses a light towel/blanket to cover up. Because natural, sexy, or none, I don't want to see anyone's, male or female, nipples/titties.
Vtepes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:00:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, if you're in a god damn swimming pool. Fucking YMCA says people are allowed to breast feed in the pool. In what world is that sanitary? Bunch of window lickers running that organisation.
Might be best to just ban all lactating women from the pool. Just one drop of breastmilk from a leaky lactating boob can pose a huge health risk to all swimmers. /s
Vtepes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think you got that the wrong way around.... the water in the pool wouldn't be sanitary for a baby to be taking in.
Exposing children to 'taboo' subjects, and just being straightforward and honest with them in general. Like, I feel adults are way to afraid of just having honest and frank conversations with children. It's ok to tell a child about something taboo, and then make them understand that it is inappropriate to talk about outside socially intimate settings. Instead we put this burden on everyone else to walk on eggshells because innocent children are present.
My mom always said that if a child is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest (albeit age appropriate) answer. Kids shouldn't be lied to. It'll just make it harder for them as they get older.
Yes. Just because they can't phrase a question correctly, the fact that they are even indicating curiosity shows that something is happening in their mind. That something will happen whether they are given an answer or not, and without facts, who knows how their kid-logic will sate that curiosity?
Nope, nowadays they'll hop on Google and get all the answer they could ever want. Best they get the truth from a parent than have to figure it all out by themselves (like me).
I guess it depends on their access to the internet. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to use the internet without asking so until I was in junior high or so, I just asked questions. After that I googled things. I don't know how common that is now but I would imagine that younger kids at least would either have less access to google or have difficulty knowing how to search effectively.
_Dotty_ ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:11:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin yelled at me for teaching his shitty kid how all the dinosaurs died out.
Like sorry your child can't deal with reality. I'm over here presenting the kid with facts. It's not my fault you've raised him in some fantasy world where dinosaurs still exist in Utah.
_Dotty_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:02:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fucking abnormal for someone to tell their child that dinosaurs still exist. Is he not going to learn this through any educational material out there on dinosaurs?
Dinosaurs still exists. We call them "birds." Basically a bunch of theropod dinosaurs survived the extinction events and they eventually grew wings and stuff. Some of them already have wings. Like velociraptors
So technically, dinosaurs still exist in Utah, and a lot of other places.
That's definitely strange...I don't think it would crush the kid to know that dinosaurs don't exist. I was fascinated by the fact that they didn't exist anymore when I was 5. Watched Walking With Prehistoric Beasts all the time and could tell you all about all sorts of dinosaurs and, well, prehistoric beasts.
I agree. I've found so many taboo subjects where I just can't figure out a good reason not to explain what it is. The knowledge doesn't hurt the kid or anything and can help them in some situations.
For example, I can't identify why you wouldn't teach a kid what sex is early. Obviously you'd also teach them that it's something they should not be doing. I'm not really convinced that just because they'll have this knowledge that they'd suddenly try and have sex or something (especially since they'll likely figure out a vague gist of what sex is way before they're given a structured lesson on it, thanks to how widespread it is in the media).
Such knowledge would help the kid better identify when if someone attempts to molest them and better explains why someone would do such a thing. It would avoid some of the situations I've heard people tell stories of, such as a kid thinking their parents are hurting each other because the kid overheard the parents having sex.
I agree with you. I have found that people are way to hypersensitive nowadays. You can tell children things that are appropriate to their age and they don't break.
To be honest I think there's also a rational fear of your children going and repeating what they were told, thus getting you into deep shit for having your beliefs imposed on said child's friends. That, and social services. Man, my mom had social services once at our door because the nosy neighbor saw me playing outside "alone" in our private, fenced-in backyard while my mom was by the patio door 20 feet away reading a book. I didn't understand it at the time but jeez apparently if the wrong person sees you living your life they can fuck you up any time they want.
Yeah, but I think that's kinda the point. I mean, when I'm explaining something taboo to a kid I definitely include the part about why it is taboo, and why you shouldn't just go around talking about it with anyone, but I'm also ok with them telling other kids what they know (in appropriately private settings). It would then follow that I'm ok with that kid telling/asking their parents about it.
In the end, I'm ok with not protecting all the poor, innocent children of the world from that nasty, nasty information...
Yeeessss!
Kids are incredible, they'll be fine.
I'm planning on raising my hypothetical future kids without Santa Claus or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. There are enough real sources of joy and wonder in this world without having to elaborately lie to trusting loved ones.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:28:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like that with some things but not others. Dirty dishes and overflowing trash start to reek fast and attract bugs so I keep up with that. I've got 3 dogs and a cat so I have to vacuum every week or the dander gets out of control. Showers and toilets though? Fuck that. The mold has to achieve sentience before I'll break out the bleach.
Let me help you with that, I'm an expert on "efficiency!" (lazy as fuck) Get an old Windex bottle (any plastic squirt bottle will do), fill it with bleach and keep it in your bathroom. Just squirt the nasty spots after you shower, and you can literally go months without cleaning the tub.
You say you're not Patrick Bateman, but your comment suggests that you are Patrick Bateman. Are you Patrick Bateman?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:42:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Xombin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey aren't you totally not that guy putting my kids through college with purchases of rain attire, lumber modification equipment, and plastic sheeting?
I've got this urge too. I'm convinced it's the dregs of my mother's OCD. But it's just not strong enough to make me washes the dishes every day. Or every other day.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:11:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Especially if you have kids. Those guys are always messing stuff up. There is a difference between untidy and dirty. If its dirty you do need to clean. If its just things laying around who cares? I believe there should be an equation that says the more people you have in your house the more % of untidiness you can get away with. There should also be a variable for how close someone is to you. brother coming over? Naw I'm not picking up anything. He was raised in the same untidy house as me, he knows.
I used to feel the same way but I think it's really beneficial. I'm still not great at housekeeping, but I noticed that it feels better to have a clean home. Physically and mentally.
It's also nice to invite guests over without much ado. I can live with my mess just fine, but it's not fair to subject guests to that. Along the same lines, if someone pops over, I can enjoy their company instead of feeling stressed and resentful (even if, yeah, they should've called first).
Sirspen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have the opposite feeling. Having a messy room makes me feel like I've been productive.
Also, not cleaning the house when guests are over. My room is a disaster, but they don't need to go in there.
VOZ1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to hate cleaning so much. My room growing up was a disaster, and my room in college was equally bad until around my senior year. I had allergies all my life, and I finally realized that cleaning (especially vacuuming/dusting) actually makes me feel better. So my strategy is to do small clean-ups continuously, rather than one massive clean up. I'll dust my dresser, maybe clean the toilet or bathtub, things like that, when I notice they're a bit dirty. Every couple weeks I'll vacuum and steam mop the whole place. But doing quick, smaller clean-ups every day or two makes the big cleanups less necessary. Straightening up for 5-10 minutes a day goes a long way.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, I want to be able to have people over whenever. I don't need to house clean but I dont want to be embarassed when I have guests.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:13:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, fuck it, i clear it when i am in the mood. 2 weeks later you come home from work and know you have guests who will show up in 30min. no no no!
I got that shit down. This is called, "the illusion of clean"
Lysol wipes make the bathroom smell clean. Switch out bathroom towels. Endust the coffee table and now the living room smells clean. Vacuum the rug fast and make lines. Fix the blankets and pillows. Put the random clutter that's everywhere in your hamper, close hamper, you can get to that later. Light a candle. As you wait for guests just wash the dishes and get that going.
Hey, your space is your space. But if I'm having guests over, my house is gonna be clean. I like to clean my space regularly anyway, but all of my friends have ridiculously filthy apartments that they never ever seem to clean, so I don't go to their houses any more, and then they say "OneHalfOfTron, how come we never see you anymore?" And it's not socially acceptable for me to say "Because I don't want to go sit in your living room that smells like cat shit and watch people play Magic The Gathering instead of having an interesting conversation or something else I could participate in." Or maybe that's just me.
I used to be like that till I got bedbugs. Now I wash my sheets at least once a week and I check my bedding every other day. Those fuckers will make you lose your mind. Never wanna have to go through that constant skin crawly feeling ever again.
I'm allergic to dust mites as well as many other things. If I don't clean my house enough (about weekly, maybe every other week) my allergies just get terrible and I turn into a headachey, dribbly mess. :(
I looked into it, and it seems there's a huge debate as to whether or not they actually do anything?
Aside from which, it doesn't help me sitting on the unvacuumed couch, or pulling books off the undusted bookshelf, or showering in the unbleached shower, etc. It's easy enough to just..... keep the house clean.
I hardly ever clean up my room. Nobody goes up to it other than me and the entire 2nd floor of the house is basically storage so a little clutter isnt out of the norm for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forget socially acceptable, that not hygienically acceptable.
Nudity. There's fuck all wrong with the sight of the human body and people's genitalia. If there wasn't so much emphasis on hiding natural parts of the body as it is 'offensive', I would imagine there would be a lot less body conscious people about.
The whole "think of the children" argument around showing sexual organs is also completely asinine. Guess what, as a baby, they started in the penis, came out of the vagina (unless a c section is done but you get my drift) and fed on someones breast. Also it's not like they don't have sexual organs till they're 'old enough'. They're going to get curious about their functions one day. Sure, that doesn't mean it's okay to show pornography to 10 year olds or have them be open to having sex till they're mature enough but having them grow up to understand the anatomy of humans would mean that when it is time for them to start understanding what sex is, it hasn't already been 'fetishised' to them. It would open them up to actually being able to talk openly on the matter and I would bet that it would lead to far less problems all round that teenagers (and even some adults) face when discovering sexual intimacy such as STD's, pregnancy and also the emotional aspect of engaging in such behaviours.
Edit: Oh and things like breastfeeding in public. I find it unbelievable that here is even a debate on being able to feed a baby when it is hungry. Breastfeeding is as natural as it gets and the fact that it offends people because a mother is exposing a breast in public is just an absurd thought to me.
Edit Edit: To clarify, I do not mean that everyone should be fine to be naked all the time. There are situations where you should be clothed and I like wearing clothes too. I don't consider myself a nudist and for people who are nudists, they also understand that it is unreasonable to be naked all the time. However, I'm not going to be offended if I see someone naked in certain situations and if my child should see someone naked on TV or what have you, I'm not going to worry that it's damaged the poor kids mind. Remember when Janet Jackson's tit popped out during the super bowl and the shit storm that followed it? Or Fox News blurring out the breasts on an art piece during the news? A reddtior explained he had someone have a go at him for getting changed in a changing room...! These are some of the kind of things I'm talking about!
Edit3: I'm also aware of the biology of how babies are born. I don't literally think sperm are people that haven't grown yet or it all comes from the penis and don't have an understanding of the importance of the female eggs and uterous. I was just simply trying to make a simple point that the parts of our body people teach kids to be ashamed of were directly involved in making said kids.
Edit4: WOW! Gold! First time Gilded! Thank you kind stranger!
For sure. I visited a public pool recently and witnessed a 30+ minute line for a stall in the change room.
My friends and I changed in the changeroom and someone commented loudly on it being "inappropriate".
We're in a fucking gender segregated changeroom. I don't give a fuck if you brought your kid, and what the hell is wrong with a 5 year old that's so shy he has to be alone in a stall to change clothes?
What?! Was this the States? The need for privacy has really shot up a lot. When I was five in the 80s, pool changing rooms were wall to wall dad dicks.
I think it must be a shift coming from having more money for amenities and more privacy growing up. Baby boomers had to share rooms with lots of other siblings and school and gym showers had more modest budgets where you just had to clean a lot of people quickly without the luxury of partitions.
I've heard the same thing is happening in Japan where they think their kids are too shy about public baths. In the 70s, that was the only option for a lot of working class people, but once everyone has indoor baths, more kids get shy and they turn into shy adults.
That's an interesting observation but the people who bathed together in the 70's and saw nothing wrong with are now the ones with the children. Although it's not as common these days to have communal showers and such, a lot of these parents are teaching their kids it's wrong to be naked even in a segregated changing room as in /u/Dont____Panic 's case.
Yeah. I think that's probably one other part of the equation. There's a greater awareness of pedophilia and from some Boomer stories, it sounds like pedophiles of the past took advantage of some norms (ex. I remember an older guy telling us about a gym teacher who wouldn't hand out swimsuits until all the kids were lined up naked). So, some of the grown ups now are probably doing more to prevent some of that exploitation as well.
The thing is, your parents never have a talk with you that's like, "Now, that you're grown. It's totally fine to be naked with your mates and other grown ups."
That's also a really good point. But I feel if kids we're taught more on what is okay and not okay when naked as opposed to just don't, it would allow them to be better identify when abuse it taking place and what to do (ie tell a parent or another other teacher) when they recognise this. Instead, the children of the Boomers are told what they consider to be white lies because they think it will protect them when in actuality, it may be harming them in other ways.
That's a great point. The extremes of "stranger danger" are an example of removing the nose to spite the face. While it may prevent a small percentage of abuse cases, it creates this pervasive low-level mistrust of everyone, all the time, which in a whole, may be more damaging than the original risk.
It's not a popular thing to say that some large sum of small wrongs could possibly add up to a couple of very large wrongs, but at many levels, it must be true.
I'm deeply uncomfortable with it, but I know it's my issue - I'm masculophobic. I don't project that and pretend that my problem should be everyone else's.
We're getting farther and farther away from a time where military service affected the majority of American men, and that has spilled over into all kinds of other contexts, including how private men are around other men.
Men who spent years of their life shitting and showering mid-conversation in front of their platoon don't give a shit about privacy, and they brought that ethic into every institution they were involved in, from Boy Scouts to summer camps to sports teams. I never thought twice about privacy in front of other males from the time I was a kid.
Now we have shower stalls in the men's lockers at the gym. It must suck to be that self conscious.
Yeah, I have to admit I'm not totally comfortable showering in front of other people. But I'm also sort of in the middle of the issue, because I think it's completely retarded that I can't change in front of people. Seems like it's not a big difference but changing is a few seconds versus a few minutes.
Changing on a bus, in the car, in an alley, or in front of friends shouldn't be a problem. Just don't be in the thick of things. The greatest example is when I was in marching band. I don't want to walk 50 yards to the bathroom just to take off my jeans and put on my uniform pants, especially in front of people who were like my family. How retarded.
The High School I went to was built in 2003... they had individual shower stalls in the gym locker rooms.
before this, I was always used to locker room showers being just a big open tiled room with shower heads poking out of the wall... maybe with a few of them pylon shower heads in the middle of the big room.
Xakuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate that because even as a teenager I didn't want to shower with other teenagers. It gets gay as fuck for absolutely no fucking reason. I don't care about you swinging your junk around but don't fucking touch me, it's not okay out in public, so why the fuck is it okay in a shower room.
Yeah, at one summer camp-type-deal I went through, the showers were gang showers. One of the nozzles was broken and was just a metal pipe with a tiny hole sticking out of the wall. Since it was a military base, the water pressure was insane and that shower head was a laser beam. All of the dudes took turns running though it. Super gay and we all looked like we had gotten 40 lashes afterwards.
Xakuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking about the sexual assault variety, ass slapping, dick grabbing, trying to pock their asshole.
Also that's strange, every military barracks I've lived at has had the opposite problem, lack of water pressure >.<
Last time I was at the pool the locker room was filled with dicks, old dicks, young dicks, dicks everywhere. It was most likely the place he was in because it was a public pool too.
Yeah. In the changing rooms of public pools and gyms, nobody really seems to care. At my school, it's like you're a disgusting barbarian if you go full nude.
jlamb42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sigh Those were the days. Also, dad dicks were huge in the 80's.
Hell yeah, dad dicks and those weird green mesh bags on hangers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm in a locker room, my dick is coming out. Everyone else can go ahead and go fuck themselves if that's a problem.
BZLuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a teen in the 80's we had mandatory showers after gym class in Jr. High and High School.
The only way you got out of having to take a shower was if you had a cast, or stitches or something about you that couldn't get wet, oh and and a doctor's note.
And these weren't little private stalls either. It was a large tiled room with like 12 floor to ceiling shower poles, each one with 4 shower heads on it, just spraying into the room. You stripped out of your gym clothes, grabbed a bar of soap, hit the pits and parts, rinsed off, dried off and then put on your "street clothes" and went to your next class.
I was a swimmer and a diver from 1995-2005, and I would ALWAYS just change in front of everyone (along with my team). I still don't care about changing in front of people, but people still will change in bathroom stalls. It's crazy!
Yeah, this was more or less my changing room experience as a kid too, except vulvae/boobs instead of dicks. There was one outlier I remember, though; another girl about my age started panicking and crying because she saw a nude woman in the change room by mistake. At the time I thought it was weird that she cared so much, but now I just feel sort of sad for her because I can't help but wonder what provoked such an emotional reaction.
Aw, poor little girl. Maybe she was really sensitive to other people's privacy since she might have been told to be cautious about watching her own.
I kinda think the intergenerational changing room thing is good for perspective and mental health about aging. Even though people are still fairly free in the changing rooms in America, it struck me even more in Japanese baths where every age was on full display. At first, a really old person's body was a surprise, but it eventually sinks in that you'll be there someday and that guy doesn't seem too upset about it. A female friend had the same reaction on a trip and talked about having naked old Japanese women swim up and chat about her Western breasts broke a lot of ice about her own body hang ups and worries.
I don't think so. There are still plenty of dad dicks these days. And hell teenagers are posting their privates on the internet so I don't think privacy has become more important.
That was before the temporary hippies of the 70s had kids and then became super strict in hopes that they wouldn't do the things they did when they were young.
I'm in the states and it was the same in the 90s, and just last year it was pretty much expected at the gym, though it was on campus so that was 99% college students.
I've seen things change with the rise of the internet ( and the proliferation of internet porn) as well as the proliferation of digital cameras that make it so easy to post nude photos. Places like hot springs and clothing optional swimming areas have gone from people being mostly nude to completely wearing bathing suits.
I don't know if this necessarily stems from a need for more privacy, but I've noticed more and more guys at my school choosing to pee in stalls rather than in urinals when there are plenty of urinals open. I've always found urinals so much easier so people being uncomfortable using them around other people confuses me.
What bothers me is when I'm in the men's change room and someone brings their 4yo daughter in. I'm dropping trou in the right spot yet I'm the inappropriate one? You walked right by the family change room on your way here.
Nudity is only awkward if the people in the room make it awkward. Problem is there is always that guy that makes it awkward so it is.
Like in high school we had public showers for football. Freshmen are always sort of nervous about that because they didn't have that in middle school. Being combined with sophomores though that have experienced public showering and just go with it socializes the group quicker. 4 years of public showering and your walking around naked except for the towel over your shoulder having casual conversation. No body gives a shit. It's the norm.
Yea, I don't get it either. I mean a dick is a dick, what's the point of being so god damn scared. My son is 9 and when we shower, we usually take a shower back to back (we do this for efficiency, and so I don't have to set the water at the proper temp twice.) Meaning, as soon as I jump out, he jumps in, and yes we're both naked, but we could give two shits about it. We're MEN!
Yea, I guess with all the fucked up shit going on in today's world, it inevitable. One thing I have noticed, the high amount of news stories surrounding FEMALE teachers, boinking their 16 year old school boys. Child molesting isn't just a dude thing.
Oh yea, have you seen the comments? "Where was those types of teacher when I was in school..." "Lucky kid..." "I bet all the boys loved going to her class..." So by society's standards, boys are much more vulnerable, because he's damned if he does and he's damned if he don't.
Try being a single guy in a nudist setting. Even in a place where nudity is basically expected, avoid being anywhere near anyone under 18, much less looking at them. I don't mean acting appropriately as you would in a normal public setting, I mean you best pretend those kids do not exist. I'm not complaining, mind you. Just one of those things that comes with the territory.
radome9 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:13:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I got looks in the women's locker room at my gym last week for doing this. Excuse me, I don't want to stumble around a bathroom stall and drop my panties/socks in the toilet. This is a locker room. You are a woman. There's nothing new to see here and none of it should offend you.
I remember experiencing the opposite. When I was a kid, maybe ten, my mum got a deal on a day membership at a posh leisure club here in the UK and took me along. There were no cubicles and there were me and my mum trying to get changed awkwardly and discreetly whilst these beautiful slim tanned women were just wandering around with their tits out, chatting about where to lunch or whatever...
I was shocked at the time (this totally wasn't how things went down in the local swimming pool) but it made me realise that there are places where this is acceptable and you've just got to go with it. It prepared me for all the gyms and spas with communal changing areas. I'm not brazen about it, but then I don't have the tits to make much of a show.
I was shocked at the time (this totally wasn't how things went down in the local swimming pool) but it made me realise that there are places where this is acceptable and you've just got to go with it.
And how is this different? It sounds like the atmosphere was about the same at your local pool, no?
Pro tip, if you need to change into or out of a swimsuit but are in a public area, wrap a towel around your waist with the seam on your side. Reach down in the towel and pull your suit down to about thigh level and then reach under the towel to take to completely off. Do the opposite to put your underwear and pants on.
If you are a girl take the straps off your shoulders and then wrap a towel around your chest. Take your suit off in a similar way to the guys instructions, put your pants on the same way and put a shirt on over the to well before unwrapping it.
This is known as a "Deck change" because you usually do it on the pool deck and not in the locker room.
This is for when you are truly in public and not in an all male locker room. It's not always cool to show your junk to all the other people at the pool.
Learned this at camp when I was a kid. It seemed to be completely instinctual for everyone because we all just did it on the first day without being shown. Except one kid, he got butt naked and we all made fun of him because 9 year olds are terrible people.
I spent a summer working at a swim school. The kids (~5yo) would all just bundle around the hallways near the changing rooms. Parents would maybe hold up a towel around them to give a little sense of privacy but other than that.
Because for some fucking reason people tend to think nudity equates to sexuality. I sat around eating chips in a t shirt/underwear watching netflix with my cats yesterday afternoon and no part of that experience made me feel especially aroused. Being naked does not mean a child suddenly learns things about sex they are too young to know.
Yeah this a new thing. I had a similar experience at the new gym in town. I went into the locker room (gender separated) and then changed into my workout clothes right next to my locker. I wasn't even making a big deal about it. I was naked all of 15-20 seconds when I removed my boxers, put them away and then put on my compression shorts (guys know why you have to wear those compression shorts...).
Anyways didn't think anything of it and then an employee said to me "we have changing rooms for a reason".
I was actually a bit shocked. Every gym I've ever gone to before you just changed in the locker room, There weren't changing stalls. Everyone was naked. You didn't sit there and gawk. You just changed and then went and worked out. But I went to a pool recently and saw the same thing. When I grew up you changed in an open locker room. But I guess now everyone has to go to changing rooms. Stigmas are changing. It's much ado about nothing if you ask me.
Does no one know how to get changed under a towel? Don't get me wrong, I don't give a damn who sees my wiener, but it's easy to change under a towel in a way that no one sees more exposed skin than some juicy ankle flesh!
I had a similar experience. I was done swimming during the free sport swim hours. I got into the male dressing room and it was filled with kids so I skipped over to the next one.
This dressing room was empty, 2 elderly men where ontheir way out, so I started changing. I was tired so I took my time. Fairly quickly after me father with a 5 year old boy came in and he started undressing the fruits of his labour.
I was changing and folding my clothes as he felt the need to comment that he was changing the clothes of his 5 year old. I thought nothing of it. Later I realised he was affraid I was some kind of child molester. But my guess iss that he himself was dipping the 5 year olds brown ink.
nursebad ยท 496 points ยท Posted at 15:57:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"think of the children" is total BS. Kids aren't born ashamed of nudity. They are taught it by people who cannot separate nudity from sex. The people that think that nudity has to lead to an uncontrolled sexual response worry me.
This is such a great way to put this. I had an argument once with someone who was convinced all nude bodies are sexual bodies. I sort of used the "think of the children" mindset in reverse, telling him, "Oh, okay, so that must mean when your 5- and 6-year old kids are taking a bath naked, that's a sexual situation, too?" That shut him down reeealll fast.
When i was 10, all nude bodies were sexual bodies to me. Fuck me, i would have loved if everyone was naked. Not sorry that this sounds crude, but i craved to see tits , ass and pussy when i was a kid.
That really comes from a lack of seeing them. I grew up in an area where nude beaches were the norm...believe me seeing that many grannies and grandpas swinging around will shut down puberty real quick.
fuck that then. That feeling of hornyness is something i loved.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. If you saw them everyday, it would lose its luster fast.
Think about how tits are often just hanging out in tribal societies. Literally nobody bats an eye at them. Men, women, children.
Jules- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:10:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the author, but Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land has some amazing statements about forced cultural 'norms' on children, etc. I love the character that gives those lines, Jubal Harshaw.
Though, if you read it, grab the 'unedited' version Heinlein's wife published after his death. It has a forward from her, easy to spot.
I really can't love Heinlein either, but Stranger in a Strange Land has been on my list for a while so when I do, I'll make sure I get the one with his wifes forwards. Thanks!
I don't know. As a parent, I want my kids to be safe. There are predators out there. I explain the covering of their privates as a way to keep them safe. I don't think adult nudity is wrong, but I guess it's hard to say one thing while others contradict.
Of course, we all want kids to be safe. But I feel kids are better off knowing what is wrong and what is right when being naked than just making it a strict taboo. Someone else has mentioned this as well and has been responded to. Would be interesting to hear your input too.
My kids are all under 5 currently. We're in the "why" phase. Honestly, I don't have an endless supply of child appropriate answers for why can adults do it and why do kids have to cover or why can women see my daughters and men can see my sons. I think it's sad to live in fear, truly, but children's' safety is on my mind all the time. Perhaps there is an age where it can be explained better, but I don't have that experience yet.
jungle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:53:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fear you talk about is greatly exaggerated, and the body shame that you're teaching your kids is certainly harmful.
For kids under 5 I don't think it's all that harmful. Explaining the complex shades of grey in morality isn't easy to do for two full adults let alone children who are still mastering the toilet. It's really not like she could never go back and actually talk to them when they hit puberty and further explain that the coach might be looking at them a little to long.
jungle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is hard about telling a kid "nobody except you can touch your pipi"? No need for complex shades of grey at all. It's simple: you don't hide from your kids so they learn that there's nothing shameful to hide, and you teach them that people use clothes when in public by clothing them when in public. No further explanations are needed.
There's no body shame behind the walls of our home. I'm sorry you feel that way. We cover our privates in public.
narp7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say it's taught by people who can't separate nudity from sex, but what's wrong with sex? The argument to hide all of that is literally the same argument.
When I was 5, some guy flashed my friends and I. Their parents FREAKED - they were all hyper religious, to the point where a half second glimpse of a penis was talked about like this guy had held their daughters down and tea bagged them repeatedly. The more conservative the family, the more the girl was told how evil and sinful the act of even seeing a penis was and how scarring it had been for them. It wasn't even a big deal to any of them until their parents went off about it.
Kids also aren't born with the hormones that make them sex crazed teens. Once you start realizing differences and reactions you realize this is just running around naked in the summer feeling good. We all mature at some point and probably shouldn't be walking around showing everyone. When I was 12 I would have had a hard-on showing everywhere I went. Tell me there is something innocent and beautiful about that.
Beautiful, no. Innocent, yes. There's nothing wrong with sex or arousal and its not malicious. If you don't care to be nude you don't have to its just that nudity shouldn't be so morally criminalized when its not inherently wrong.
I'm not sure about "still feel uncomfortable". When I was younger at the pool and such it was pretty normal to have kids change and shower naked with the rest. I feel people are becoming more uncomfortable about it now than they were.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the practice is kinda harmful, actually. It's the idea behind rape-apology, and the whole "well, what was she wearing?" thing.
The conflation of standalone body parts and sexuality gets girls kicked out of school for daring to wear shorts in 90+ degree weather. That's harmful enough to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
going back and re-reading all this, I realize that I was ENTIRELY thinking about public breastfeeding, and I don't think I was fully grasping OP's point - being about nudity.
So, my argument (if I really want to call it an argument?) was, like, 100% about public breastfeeding and I'm an idiot. Sorry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kjata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're comfy, and easy to wear! Why would they be banned?
Child molesters try to not draw attention to themselves, especially around the children. If you're worried someone around your child might be planing to abuse him/her, I can guarantee it's not the guy chilling out in his birthday suit.
No there is not necessarily a sexual element to nudity, in fact in most cases of nudity there is no sexual element. Nudists have long since learned to separate nudity from sex.
In being naked in a changing room? No. I've never been in a private gym that didn't have at least two old naked dudes wandering around. They're not getting off on it, they're just going about their business.
With men at least, it's pretty obvious when they're aroused.
No I get that. I just think that there are certain situations where it wouldn't be completely appropriate to do it. And no matter what there will be sick people out there where situations would play in their advantage if everyone was nude which would make it easier to do certain things to people.
You are correct in that. But I can't help but think that 1) those individuals are far, far more rare than the news would have you believe and 2) that more commonplace and less fetishized nudity would lead to a decrease in that sort of abnormality in future generations.
the breast feeding thing is an odd argument to have, i personally do not like seeing it, but i will defend their right to feed their child. i only dont like seeing it because for some unknown reason to me, i get really fucking awkward around pregnant persons and tiny people scare me...
but screw me and my insecurities, if i dont like i can leave, that baby cant get fed any other (natural) way
Yup. It's totally fine if my nursing in public makes you feel uncomfortable, that's just part of our collective upbringing and our societal norms. I do my bit by being as discreet as I can without pissing my baby off, you do your bit by not being rude to me.
While on a camping trip with some people deep in the woods, one the couples just started shouting "Naked time!" and just dropped all their clothes off in the tent. At first I thought it was weird, but after a few minutes I was like "Wait, why is this supposed to be weird again?" They spent the rest of that weekend sans clothes and nobody cared.
As soon as I get home it's no pants time. Our biggest arguments in the summer are about how high the AC gets to go because my SO likes it cold as fuck and I like it warm enough to walk around naked.
About half of us, including me. Surprisingly there wasn't any sexual tension, as after the first few seconds of "OMG, BOOBS!" you just start thinking of it like you would a funny t-shirt or brightly colored vest.
This so much, here in finland some places still has saunas for both genders and it is perfectly acceptable to be naked there, society today really needs to lighten up and just go balls to the walls
I remember reading an article about people addicted to pornography and one of the "symptoms" is non sexualization of the human body.
It even went on to explain that if you see someone naked and you don't want to have sex with them, you probably have been over expose.
My problem is that I know for myself I can think of 3 reasons not wanting to have sex with them.
1) they are related/really close with them and so I don't want to see that
2) I may not be attracted to the person personally so I don't want to have sex with them
3) you can admire the human form. Like if someone is incredibly fit or attractive, you can admire their body (I am taking about a photo or statue. You can do it in person but they might be offered if you walk up to someone and ask to see them naked).
The article wasn't satire either. I thought it was, checked out the site and they took themselves seriously.
Edit: so after a quick search I can not find the article I remember, but there are many others that are on the topic. These clarify the extreme action people have taken.
I believe that, in hindsight, the article was poorly written or the writer was not fully informed.
xdert ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:51:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a logical fallacy. If A entails B it does not mean that B entails A.
Like "every cat has four legs", does not mean that every for legged creature is a cat.
So in other words, if addiction to pornography means you think about the human body non sexually it does not mean that if you think about the human body non sexually you are addicted to pornography. It could have many other reasons, like not being a prudent American for example.
I think maybe they just weren't entirely clear what they meant. They were probably trying to say that you're not aroused by real life situations that you'd otherwise be aroused by in pornography.
I was also going to comment "breast feeding". I honestly don't even understand the rational behind why this natural activity is deemed "socially unacceptable".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, it's an issue of much contention...and I live in Eugene, OR! So many hippies here. But it's not a minority who take issue, it's a real and on-going discussion in my community. I'm glad to hear it's not the same in other areas.
My main argument to this is that nudity is just unsanitary. I'm sorry, but I don't want to sit my balls on a chair that someone else's balls were sitting on.
Also, while the human body can be a beautiful thing, it can also be an absolutely disgusting thing. There are a lot of things you don't want to see being covered up by clothing.
Well yes, my argument isn't that people should be naked all the time. More that being naked isn't offensive and that seeing someone naked shouldn't offend you either. Being unhygienic that will effect someone else however, is offensive.
ha, imagine if the cultural norm wasn't to cover up our bodies, but demand they be hygenic at all times. Okay maybe the last bit was already a thing, but damn if some people don't just try to trap it in their clothes...
I have been to a lot of outdoor-type festivals of mostly the very small sort where a solid third of people are naked all day and even more at night. The general attitude is that you bring something like a towel to sit on, so no one has to have indirect contact with your junk.
Someone's hands can be just as or dirtier than their balls but I bet you're not nearly as quick to be grossed out. Your balls don't go in or near your mouth and your hands do
You know how when you sit in a chair and you move around your butthole spreads a little. Do you really want to live in a world like that with bare buttholes slightly spreading on all the chairs you sit on. People smell bad enough with their clothes on...
Well, this is only a good thing. I honestly believe the sooner people understand that the human body isn't something to be offended about, the sooner the world becomes that much more of a better, more compassionate and understanding place.
Definitely. But also everyone should be informed why for example in formal situations that is not appropriate. I don't mind nudity, but it's not always appropriate and that has nothing to do with being ashamed of your body. The same as I can't come to work in my tracksuit, it wouldn't be ok to be naked at my job, even if nudity would be accepted. But it shouldn't have to be a big deal elsewhere.
Well yes of course. I'm not saying that everyone should become a naturist here but dressing well for work and other such examples is a sign of respect more than anything (though I do feel well boss wearing my suit).
On a similar account: People having issues beeing seen in underwear but are perfectly fine to go to public pools, lakes, beaches in swim wear. It's basically the same, what the fuck is the problem?
Consent. When you're wearing swim wear, you know that you're going to be seen and you're okay with it. When you're in your underwear and someone walks in (even if it's accidental) it's okay to be uncomfortable, because you didn't expect or want to be seen quasi naked.
I don't think it's acceptable to fly off the handle, especially if it's an accident, but I think it's fine to feel embarrassed. Although come to think of it, personally it doesn't bother me.
As the child of part-time nudists who has had to deal with shit for it all my life, thank you so much for saying this. What actually harms children is telling them that nudity, their own an that of others, is something to fear and be disgusted by. If you don't brainwash them with that they won't have any negative feeling towards being around nude people.
This is one of the reasons I talked with my husband about how we wanted to raise our kids before I got pregnant. We both agreed that we were cool with bathing with them in the nude regardless of their gender. We have two boys now and although my nearly five year old is starting to get shy about his own nudity, and making jokes like "Mommy, I can see your butt cheeks! giggle" we're still letting them see us. I want them to know that being naked doesn't have to be sexual.
That being said, we never "cross the line" in front of the kids and we aren't grabby with each other when the boys can see us, whether naked or clothed. There are things that are considered private, though my oldest who poops with the door open, wanting to talk to you, might disagree with that as well.
I just visited a bathhouse in Germany, and the saunas were in the nude only section. It was weird at first but only for like 2 minutes. Then it felt pretty liberating. Just me sitting in a room sweating with naked people. I wish we had them here now.
xdert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a European the American concept of "nudity is offensive" completely baffles me. You often see naked people at public beaches, a mixed nude sauna is a normal place where you can take your kids to and no one ever would say anything about breastfeeding in public. In fact it would be considered rude to complain about it.
I've been an American in Europe for the past week and I've seen the topless women on beaches but nowhere else. Would it be just as acceptable if they were walking around town topless?
xdert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not in a restaurant by I have seen topless women in parks and actually in crowded pedestrian areas in the city, but this was not casually strolling around but performing art or something like that.
Someone who thinks that something like "this surely wouldn't show it all, would they?" It's what I thought at least. Especially as it's on youtube which can be strict around nudity.
Totally agree. I have no problem with my son seeing someone nude in a movie. I don't want him seeing graphic sex scenes, but straight nudity should not be considered dirty or sinful. I'd much rather have him see some naked people than a bunch of violence.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hate the "it's natural" argument. That's stupid. It doesn't mean it's not disgusting. Imagine if I just took my dick out and walked around in public. Hey, it's natural, you can't get mad. You know what? To hell with clothes. I'll just walk around naked flopping my dick around while I burp and fart all day long. Hey, it's natural!
Yes, that's exactly our point. It is natural, and you should be able to walk around with your dick out without feeling ashamed. The fact that you think it's so obvious that that would be wrong is what's sad here.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:32:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's got nothing to do with being humble, and everything to do with this idiotic notion that the human body is something to fear and be ashamed of.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:08:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Let some random guy go flop his dick on your forehead and try to tell me you'll be totally calm. Hey, it's natural and normal so there's no reason to get mad!
That's sexual assault. This is exactly what I'm talking about, you can't even differentiate between relaxed nudity and sexual assault. That's what's so sad.
I think you're the only one on this thread above the age of twelve. "Everyone for the past 5000 years was so stupid until my genius came into this world." There are so many reasons why we wear clothes. It's the very first thing a civilization does. Humans are animals, but what makes us human is striving to be better than simple beasts.
You know what my favorite part about clothing is? I'm 33 years old and still get super excited when a woman takes off her shirt. It's the only thing us older guys have left. Clothes improve sexuality, not the other way around.
Try watching TV in countries like Italy or Brazil. Almost every show on every channel is half naked hot chicks doing and saying the most unintelligent and shallow things you can imagine. It's brain death.
TIL: nudists have brain death. Protip, just because you can't separate sexuality from nudity doesn't make you enlightened.
It is entirely situational. I'm not going to pop a boner on the beach because I see tanned asses everywhere. But if I'm with a woman and she's undressing, for me, in private... it's full steam ahead.
You can celebrate and appreciate the human body but also be aroused by it in separate situations. That is not brain death, it is quite the opposite.
I said most Italian and and Brazilian TV shows are brain death, not nudity. Sorry if it went over your head. I forget how many children are on this site.
Well you start off in the ovaries as well as the penis. But yeah, I completely agree. I'm not going to show my daughter porn but I'm not going to have a breakdown when she inevitably sees some nudity. I do not want her to be ashamed of her body.
The U.S.'s views on nudity and violence in particular are ass-backwards in my opinion. I read a review about grand theft auto complaining about the nudity. This is a game where you can beat someone up for money, hijack their car and run them over for it, gun down masses in the street, but NUDITY was the issue here.
A body is a body. Everyone's got one. Everyone's most likely seen the goods they haven't got. Why is it no big deal to see heads burst open like watermelons on t.v., but the moment a nipple slips it's big freaking news?? Openly sexual things are one thing, but simple nudity in and of itself is a stigma I don't understand.
Like you said, things like breastfeeding shouldn't be a debate. It's a breast. Especially when you consider things we don't find offensive (e.g. aforementioned violence), I don't see why feeding your child is one of the things we do find offensive.
I'm in complete agreement with your principles. I think you're absolutely right that there's nothing wrong or offensive about the human body. I also agree that breastfeeding in public shouldn't even be a controversy; of course it's fine.
On the other hand, I've been thinking recently that there is a positive purpose for the embarrassment people often feel about their bodies. I work with children, and while I have carefully cultivated a Teflon-coated immunity to embarrassment myself (because if things have got to the point where you have to talk to a male teacher about your periods or toilet troubles, the last thing you need is for him to be getting all freaked out about it), I'm very careful to tiptoe around the kids' own sense of embarrassment about their bodies and avoid doing or saying anything to make them feel uncomfortable if there's any way it can be avoided.
Because, the thing is, imagine the reverse: a man who insists you talk openly to him about what's under your clothes, who asks you personal questions, who won't get out of the room when you want to get changed. You'd very quickly (and correctly) get the feeling he was a creepy person, and you would try to avoid being alone with him. In other words, you've withdrawn your trust from a person who is very likely not trustworthy. But the thing that unites all those situations in which the man's untrustworthiness first manifested itself is that they only came about because you were embarrassed about your body and wanted to keep it private. So maybe when we teach kids to be embarrassed about nudity and bodily functions, we're actually teaching them something that will help them protect themselves.
Oh totally. There are quite clearly boundaries when it comes to being naked. But these boundaries are of personal comfort levels. Some people don't mind people watching them change and some do. However, teaching children that you should be ashamed to be naked by vilifying people who do (in a non sexual way) can be protective sure but it can also be damaging.
Yes, I think I'd agree with you completely there. Another thing that gets me exasperated is that there's this whole hysteria about which bathroom transgender people should go to. And those of us who live in countries that have unsegregated public bathrooms and they work just fine - because you're in a cubicle alone any time you're actually doing something more private than washing your hands anyway - are just going Oh my god who CARES?
Yep. The transgender thing baffles me too. I just don't get it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. But remember that everyone is different. Some people are comfortable with nudity, some just aren't. So don't be an asshole to people who aren't comfortable with it, as long as they aren't affecting you.
I'm cool with nudity but I also want the right not to have to look at your naked body. I don't really have any desire to hit a nudist beach/colony because I don't want to see a big fat sweaty guy covered in hair walking around with his dong out. Most of us don't but we think it's OK as long as the person is attractive? That's sort of hypocritical. Hey, I'd let my kids see some nudity but that doesn't mean I just have to accept all of it and that if I don't somehow there is something wrong with me or that I'm a prude.
When I was a little kid my dad used to take me in the winter to a public hot bath where was also a sauna.
There everyone, I mean everyone were naked. There were dicks 2cm away from each other and nobody gave a shit.
This is OT but why do you identify the sperm as where they "started" when 50% of that person's genetics (plus other stuff, mitochondria etc) was in the egg? It's not a big deal, I'm just baffled by how prevalent this anthropomorphism of sperm is. It's not like the sperm is the person and then gets into the uterus all by itself and develops there. Why don't people identify with the egg, which actually contributes more to the developing fetus?
Because my example in this case is of nudity, I mean technically the sperm started in the testes but I was just making a quick point. I get what you're saying and I understand the biology of how a baby is made but in relation to my point, If I saw someone nude at a beach and their uterus was on show, I'd probably call an ambulance.
I feel like people who have a problem with it mostly have never actually seen someone do it. It's generally quite discreet even without a cover - the baby's head covers pretty much everything.
Most of the time you'd have to actively look out for a woman breastfeeding. If it bothers someone, they can try minding their own business.
While I agree with you initially, I don't think I'd be okay with my girlfriend being naked in public, and I know she feels the same for me. I don't want her to be in anyone else's spank bank.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with it more than its just kind of gross. Same reason we use a restroom to poop. It looks gross and it smells. No one else wants to see that.
On a slightly-related note, I never understood why we try so damn hard to hide anything about sex from children (at least, here in the U.S., but I would assume this is common on a global scale). I'm not saying little kids should be taught how to reproduce, but if that's the one reason everyone has to pretend sex or the like doesn't exist around their children, quite frankly, I don't buy it. Can someone explain this to me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was this lady from somewhere outside of the United States. She asked me in we had a feeding room. I was like uh?? So I showed her the bathroom. I felt ashamed even if I had nothing to do with this..
Different to public believes, sexuality actually starts with birth. It is a part of being a human just as anything else is. Boys as young as one year old can get an errection and for young kids it is totally normal to touch their genitalia. They often find out quickly that it feels good to rub there too at which point parents like to step in and tell them that it is something you don't do.
Yea but when I haven't managed my pubefro I don't need everyone knowing I have the Amazon jungle underneath my swimsuit.
isu1857 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From a medical and humanistic perspective, breastfeeding is one of the best ways to ensure that a baby grows properly. There are specific health benefits from breast feeding yet it's something that the public can't handle.
I'm sorry if you think that I should sit in a fucking nasty ass public bathroom to feed my child. I couldn't see you doing the same thing for your own eating because that's what's going on... Eating. You have to eat to live, and babies can't choose from 154 different restaurants in the area. They have two choices: breastmilk or formula. That's it!
Get out... Not sure if you're lying or not but I've got another revelation for you if not. They don't pee out of their vaginas. They have a urethra just above it.
I don't get it either. It's just a body. People will allow their children to play horrendously violent video games, but a woman breastfeeding is "gross"? Seriously, it's just a breast.
this is one of those easily-observable differences in culture, and in outcome, between the US and the "West" - kids start getting curious about their bodies hella early, whether consciously or not, and in those societies where the human body is normalized and they're allowed to access that knowledge, kids tend to develop much healthier perceptions of their own bodies, and those of the opposite gender, and later in life have a more informed sexual appetite as well, whereas raising a kid with the idea that his/her body is something to be ashamed of, and that genitalia and breasts are somehow taboo and off-limits leaves them, in many cases, clueless about the most basic anatomic facts, and will fuck with their sexual development once they get into their teens and stuff starts happening..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if we saw more naked people growing up, and understood the human body more as children- there wouldn't be such weird unrealistic fetishes floating around.
Breastfeeding is as natural as it gets and the fact that it offends people because a mother is exposing a breast in public is just an absurd thought to me.
I'm pretty sure the argument is because America started as a country of prudes, and is currently a country of insanely fat fucks. Used to be God would get pissed off when you get naked, now it's just everybody within sight.
Honestly, and I'm going to admit something. Breastfeeding in public makes me a bit uncomfortable. But not enough to tell her to stop or use the restroom. It's more along the lines of being able to see the breast of a woman that is not my wife.
I'm sure though, if public nudity was allowable, like you said, this would probably be nothing major and that uncomfortableness would go away.
Also, women are allowed to walk topless in NYC, but cannot engage in commerce while topless. Engaging in commerce while topless is illegal.
I had to scroll waaay too far down to see nudity mentioned. I want to give you so many upvotes, this topic is probably the most important to me, in this context at least. I want to change my clothes in my car, or sunbathe in front of my patio window, or lay on my trampoline in my on fenced in backyard without getting put on a list. Or go swimming at a beach in the nude, the biggest complaint I always hear towards that is that it would be cool if you didn't have to see fat old men, which is bullshit, I don't care what the other nude beach goers look like, and neither should anyone else.
Why is it so strange that little kids see sex? How many small children are exposed to violence in their tv shows? Why is sex so corrupting? I'd rather my child see's what intercourse is rather than someone getting killed.
kalieco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree!! Nakedness should not be shamed (within the appropriate context, of course). My mother was totally fine to be naked and shower around me as a kid, which taught me a lot about what a real woman looks like (not says real women are fat or skinny- but real woman have bumps and curves and spots and whatnot). If kids aren't "allowed" to be exposed to the natural human body, then guess what, they're still going to see most, if not all of it, in the media anyways, and it's going to be airbrushed and give them a very warped sense of what is normal. The human body and all of its imperfections are beautiful!
As someone who is way to self-conscious to ever be seen by anyone while not wearing a shirt, I often find myself stopping to look at people with worse bodies than mine and thinking "Hmm, I don't mind that being a thing..." but still.
Sure, that doesn't mean it's okay to show pornography to 10 year olds
Sorry to break it to you, but I'd guess most 10 year olds today have seen porn before. Whether they fully understand it or not, they've definitely seen it.
i had to drive my two coworkers back to one of their houses one night bc they needed to change to go to a party (which i was driving them to) and she told me instead of waiting in the car to come in and hang in her room. so one of them went to shower and it was me and (lets call her Nicole) in her room. as (the other one, lets call her Alexa) was in the shower, Nicole started undressing in her room while i was sitting on her bed on my phone. when i looked up she was butt ass naked in front of me and did not care one bit. like, were pretty good friends/coworkers, we go to school together and ive known her since elementary school but were not INSANELY close, just school friends and i was LOSING MY MIND. and let me tell ya, her body is amazing but i didn't know what to say/do so she just continued to change like it was nothing. i'm incredibly comfortable with my body but i never wouldve thought a GIRL would have no problem with it. turns out, she's insanely chill about it (which is awesome)
I always like the flawless logic as to why people don't do it: "we need more than two political parties, but it will never happen because no one will ever vote for them."
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:18:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, it's the nature of politics for there to be only 2 parties. Until we get a different voting system that's the way it'll be. You can vote for them to make a statement though and to show your support.
We tried it in the UK. The Liberal Democrat party took decades to get strong enough that we had 3 parties and we needed a coalition to form a majority government. After they formed a coalition of course they had to compromise and they couldn't deliver everything they promised before the election. Now everyone hates them because they're liars and sell-outs. There's no way they're going to be in government again any time soon.
Your system still isn't really designed for 3 or more parties, because you have First Past the Post voting where a plurality of votes wins. You need runoff voting (the worst parties are kicked out of the running and those votes recast elsewhere until a majority is reached) or MMP.
We definitely need a new system. I'd like a system which encourages parties to stick to their principles rather than making calculations and chasing the undecided voters and we need governments who most of the electorate actually voted for.
America faces the same problem. I bet that if we had as many serious parties as you do, we'd probably notice similar results. Things are hidden, though, because we really only have the two.
You guys have like, what 6? Lib dems, conservative, labor, UKIP, Green, and SNP? Am I forgetting any?
And of course, from what I understand, SNP kicked ass in its own sphere of relevancy. Not nearly as powerful nationally as the conservative party, but within Scotland it's a different story, I'm told. The closest thing to a "third party geography" in America is New Hampshire's Free State Project, which is basically a bunch of libertarians and anarchists trying to gather all in one place and make it more suitable for their beliefs.
You got the ones which matter this time round. I think it took a huge amount of effort to get a lot of major parties but then it creates a skew effect because there are more left wing parties than right wing so the left wing ones (green, lib dem, snp, labour) are stealing each other's votes.
The SNP used to campaign for proportional representation but now they've got 50% of the vote in Scotland but have 56 out of 59 seats. I just checked and they still support that policy so kudos to them. I think I'm beginning to agree with them on that. I can't see an alternative.
It sort of makes sense that there would be more liberals. Conservative parties are generally "parties of no." They want to go back to the past or hold the status quo on most things.
There is only one past, and only one status quo. But there are an infinite number of possible futures. And an infinite number of progressive parties.
I'm an anarchist so I don't really think that even MMP will make your government work for you. I do think its a hell of a lot better than the (intentional) trainwreck of your last election or America's last presidential election.
I'd like to see reform to the voting system in the U.S. and change it to something like the Approval Method. I feel like with this voting system, people wouldn't be afraid to vote for Independent parties.
Also, don't get me started on the Electoral College
I respect your opinion, but I disagree, and I'm independent. Unless it's a more local position where a third party or independent candidate can win, voting third party fucks up the system and does more harm than good. We need some kind of preferential voting system absolutely, but it has to be from the inside.
I will also add not voting at all. I hate when people that say I shouldn't complain if I don't vote. Mathematically it's astronomical odds that my vote will determine the outcome of an election. And, if by some miracle I have the deciding vote, the person that I voted for can break every single promise they made and there's nothing I can do about it.
Also, I can spend hours and hours going over candidates and their platforms. And then some idiot can drop a ballot for someone because they liked the candidates haircut. Voting is just not worth the time or the effort.
I didn't realise this was a thing until a couple of weeks ago. My best friends brother in law came to his birthday bbq and later that afternoon he got a text from his Wife's parents saying that Bro in law and his fiancee were offended that there was no 'Thank you for coming' text (despite having been thanked repeatedly at the BBQ).
I don't know why they feel the need to be validated in writing, just seems petty
I AGREE!!! It is one thing to thank someone in person, because it is so much more personal and you are able to see things that cannot be expressed in writing. It is absolutely silly that some people refuse to accept a "thank you" in any other from, except writing. In my honest opinion, it's less personal and more distant. It should only be okay to thank someone in writing, if you got something from them, and they're miles away and cannot be personally thanked in a reasonable time.
Shallox ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going out in public looking like you just woke up or even like a vagabond. I do this alot and make a fair bit of cash at my 9 to 5 in IT. I don't see why there has to be a whole stigma around the way people look... if it's practical put it on.... it's that simple ay.
Goem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From what I've heard most, its some bullshit akiin to "if you don't care how you look you don't care about yourself. So why should other people"
Using the same fork, spoon, knife for all the courses at a restaurant. I never understood the stupidity of using different forks for each plate of food.
I agree. But I think part of it is that each type of fork or knife is specifically suited to different types of food. Personally I've never found a normal sized fork to be lacking, but I suppose a smaller one might be useful for fruit or fish while a bigger one might be better for steak. But really, the difference isn't that great. It isn't like using different sized tools or paintbrushes for different jobs, a fork is a fork is a fork.
Just remember that your silence might be just as disturbing or intrusive to them as their small talk. Not saying that it's right they feel that way, but some find tacit dismission to be more of a "fuck you" than if you were to be acknowledged by someone and then literally respond back with "fuck you".
Well silence isn't necessarily dismissal. I have a friend who can sit with someone for hours smiling away, having a blast, only speaking when spoken to or if he has something to talk about. He's awesome to hang out with because there's no pressure to keep conversation going. I know he isn't dismissing me because he responds when I speak, but there's very little forced conversation.
The difference is with your friend, you know how he feels about you. Small talk is generally used when you're with people you don't know as well as your close friends. If you're at some mandatory fun party with clients and just stand there silently, you're being a lot more rude than about people who discuss the local sports teams and the unseasonably hot weather.
Dude, if you and I don't know each other and we're sitting at a party together and I don't say a word to you, that is not the same as me insulting you.
I didn't say insulting, I said being rude. And if we are at a party sitting next to each other and I greet you and make some small talk, then you just stare back at me because you think small talk is dumb- sorry, but that's rude.
but some find tacit dismission to be more of a "fuck you" than ... literally [responding] with "fuck you"
I don't mean ignoring a person, but straight up not talking to someone who is near you but isn't speaking you to isn't dismissing them, nor is it rude. If you say something I'll respond, but the original comment is about people who don't want to start bullshit conversations to stave off any sense of uncomfortable silence.
Fair enough. I'd mostly agree with you. I'd only contend (and this is super nitpicky) that it's social situation dependent at that point. If your company is hosting a social for clients, it could be seen as a dismissal if you don't talk to anyone or selectively talk to people, as you are the host. If you're just at a party with friends and your wider social circle - silence all you want.
This would be me if it weren't for the fact that some of my friends constantly put pressure on me to talk about things that I have nothing to say about.
It's less about feelings and more about the signal being sent. When someone refuses to engage in small talk there is a clear signal that that person does not want to speak.
It very well could be that they just don't want to speak about things they don't deem 'important', but there is no way someone could come to that conclusion with the given information which is: 'I attempted conversation and was shut down.'
There is no offense taken, but there is a miscommunication and the result is the interaction shutting down. Instead of the conversation moving past the small talk, the conversation is now over before it began.
There is a reason that in telecommunications there is a thing called Handshaking that works in a similar manner to plesantries, small talk, or a real handshake. There is a small number of information packets sent back and forth so that the parameters of the conversation are set. It doesn't really matter what kind of content is in those packets, what matters is the manner in which they are sent and that they are sent.
Refusing small talk is sending the message that you desire no further communication because the contentless initiation protocol has been refused and one should always be aware of the message they are projecting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that. As someone who can be very outgoing but is also introverted (there is a finite amount of energy I have for socializing before I need to recharge), I understand that signals are important. I guess I wouldn't be so quick to take offense when someone isn't receptive now that I've felt that precious energy draining away while I still needed to function in a social setting.
Yes, it doesn't feel great to get shut down. It can even sting a little, but just take a step back to realize that the person you're speaking to isn't on that wavelength right now and that's okay. Give them some space. Maybe throw them a funny joke now and then. Introverts seem to appreciate a slower, steady rhythm of communication than a fast, dedicated dance. Personally I think it feels good to see them light up when they feel recognized as the person they are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That or "the guy who doesn't talk, ever, is awkward and not very interesting/ uncomfortable to be around"
Small talk is like an opening in chess. No, there are no bold and amazing moves that you can reasonably open with, but you can immediately influence what kind of a game it's going to be by your choices.
Asking someone how they enjoy the weather may not be interesting itself, but it can lead to more interesting conversations. That's what /u/YzenDanek was getting at. The first or second move in a chess game is very rarely interesting, but it leads to an interesting game. The small talk about the weather or a persons health may not be interesting, but it can lead to an interesting conversation.
Exactly.
Hi. How are you. Fine thanks, You? Pretty good.
None of that much anything as far as content goes but the ritual itself demonstrates an acknowledgement of one another and implies about 20 other things just by your willingness to act it out.
As mentioned further up the thread, making small talk allows a whole lot of nonverbal communication to take place.
muddlet ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:57:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
small talk does have meaning. it's basically code for "i know how this socialising thing works. i know how to make you feel just that little bit more happy and cared about. i'm a pretty great guy, you can feel free to go into deeper stuff with me in the future"
Yep. The worst is when people at work say the same unfunny line whenever they see you at the start or end of the day without a shed of effort at humour.
"Don't worry it'll soon be Monday."
Cue polite laugh/equally unfunny response
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My coworkers always have to mention something about Monday, or Friday, or hump day, or have a new "wacky" way of greeting people.
Novaer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My coworkers do this. But we're all pretty chill about it and whenever somebody makes a comment like that we're just like "UGH FUCKING UGH GO DIE"
This is why my hair is so fucking long, I don't want to endure 15 minutes of small talk with a barber.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This gets me into trouble at my office, but really my attitude is none of us care about if someone is having a good morning or not so let's just adopt a sense of urban solitude and work in peace.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll go out of my way (literally) to avoid small-talk because it's awkward and is just used to fill silence. I guess it's frowned upon by normal people in society but being painfully introverted does have its downsides.
The standard "hey, how are you?" small talk is similar to pinging a computer; you get information on the person's status (whether they are functioning, friendly, and depending on their response, how open they are to further communication).
By avoiding small talk, you may be communicating something that you're not intending to communicate ('I'm not friendly', 'I won't listen to you', 'you annoy me'...)
For some people, small talk is awkward, for others, silence is awkward. Try to find a happy balance.
Small talk indicates a lack of threat to a stranger. Say, in an elevator, you can stay silent or you can give a friendly hello. By saying "hello", you convey a lack of danger despite your foreign nature to the other person, saying nothing doesn't necessarily convey a danger to the other person but there's no assurance of your lack of intent to harm or whatnot. I think I read that in Games Primates Play
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
small talk is a good way to start to get to know someone though
A girl I work with always asks the same small talk questions. "So, how are you?" "What're you up to tonight?" "Got any plans for the weekend?" More than a few times, I've answered a question only for her to ask it again about three minutes later.
Sometimes I realise I'm probably being rude for not asking her the same types of questions to get conversation going, but it doesn't occur to me to ask things like that because unless I take interest in something, I don't generally think to talk or ask about it.
But if a topic I'm interested in comes up? I'll talk a mile a minute.
XSplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence can be anything, but small talk is a confirmation that everything is at least "good enough."
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Small talk makes me feel like I am dying inside. I refuse to do small talk. People think I am awkward. I do not care.
The purpose of shallow small talk is to find basic personal information to dig deeper into meaningful conversation. I agree if I'm just going to be here for 2 minutes let's both shut the fuck up.
I'd rather actually say nothing, rather than physically say something with no meaning.
Well said, this is my philosophy. I have found out if you live this way you WILL be called "shy"; hey maybe I just don't give a shit about you or the weather. and my god do not ask "How have you been doing": you want me to say "good" and move on...basically telling me you don't care or are a boring as fuck small talk lover who wants to force "conversation" on me.
I leave people the fuck alone unless I see body language cues that they are in the mood to meet me.
Agreed, I'd rather sit in silence for hours than plod through the whole "So...the Sun, that shit is bright and provides sustenance...Rain... nothing wetter than old H2O, eh?"
I'd rather argue about abortion or the middle east than talk of nonsense and nothing.
Never come to Ireland. We spend most of the year lamenting how not there the sun is and on the rare occasions it's actually hot we complain about it. I'd say conversations here go 60/40 weather vs everything else.
"Did you see those four massive storm cells that set up in the northeastern sky on Monday? It was like 4 Everests of Doom. I was thinking tornado for sure. Wellington got golf ball sized hail. I was sure we were going to see Windsor ripped to shreds again."
I guess I just prefer specific conversations, not ones that will be virtually the same if I have them with anyone on earth. I've had a million conversations about weather and they were all essentially the same. To me it's like listening to your dad tell that camping story for the 10 000th time.
Like if someone were to go "So, feet, you walk on them too, huh? Left, right, left, right, isn't that always the way?"......"Yup."
Well, I'm sure that lots of women don't. And there are men who don't. I didn't for a long time unless I really had to. Then I realized that it's way smarter than flushing an entire fucking toilet's worth of water. Saves time and water. Why not?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would women be any different in this scenario?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pee could run down their legs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes... followed by water. I'm not seeing the big deal. Does pee not get on your feet at all?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually aim for the drain or into the running water so it it does get on me it's already diluted
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think most people aren't terribly concerned about their own urine touching their lower body for the length of time it takes to pee.
Besides pee running down your legs, there's just the fact that most men have spent their entire lives peeing while standing. They're used to it and it's not like it's some new experience.
Women, though, don't do that. It's not that peeing while standing would be weird for women, although maybe it is. The real thing is, it has to cross their minds to pee standing up for them to do it.
And most people I know don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they pee. This subthread is an exception.
I'm not sure if all the porn has desensitized me or if I just see it as natural and not weird. Maybe it's some of both, but regardless, nudity does not bother me.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:09:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see why nudity is a big deal either.
I've even spent a few days camping at a nudist resort. It was slightly awkward for the first few minutes but after seeing 20 people naked walk-by in the span of a few minutes (all from different ages groups and body types). It doesn't seem like a big deal.
Besides naked swimming is awesome.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:25:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a nude beach in San Diego that I used to go to with my ex-boyfriend and I loved it. It was great because it was sheltered, wasn't crowded and a lot of the people there were older hippies who didn't care. One guy was probably 80+ running down the beach in nothing but tennis shoes and a silver lame thong and he looked happy as could be.
Unfortunately, it's the guys that go to nude beaches to ogle/harass pretty women, make fun of unattractive people or complain that gasp the men are nude too that ruin it for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this either. I'm perfectly fine with being naked.
raj96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a beach in Europe and noticed most people were nude. I went with a group of like 15 people, and they all flipped but I didn't mind. It'd be kinda nice to not have to worry about a wet swimsuit or anything.
Usually people aren't nude on most European beaches. Maybe topless, though that's definitely not popular in all European countries. You must have stumbled across a nude beach.
I've been to a nude campground, it doesn't happen, it's like your body knows it's not the time or place even though you are naked, you just feel comfortable and there was some attractive naked folk there I saw, but nothing down below. So in a normal socially nude situation I would imagine that most would not be OK with your erection, just cover it up til it goes away then carry on like normal
I've been to a nude beach a few times now as an adult, and it was no biggie. Felt like any other beach. The only reason why i enjoyed it more than regular beach was because i didn't have to worry about wet clothes on the way home. I didn't even notice me and everyone else was naked.
But this would have been different as a kid. I was one horny motherfucker. The sight of tits made me raging hard, and the thought of pussy made me drool. Ah grade 5, those were the days.
You're missing the point. Of course I don't want to look at that. Not because of nudity, they could be covered up and I still wouldn't find it attractive
Similar response when I hear men who say women should be able to go topless in public: be careful what you wish for. Most women (and men) are not nice to look at naked.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 16:38:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
c_rbon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the SJW.
Seriously though, it's natural for us to be unattracted to old/fat people, because they don't look healthy enough to provide and take care of offspring.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a massive difference between not being attracted to someone and finding them disgusting, and I don't think it changes much with the amount of clothing
Other places it is not such a big deal. I had a friend who went to study abroad in highschool. He was super excited about nude/topless beaches.. I asked him when he came back how he enjoyed it. He said the first few times it was amazing for 10 mins or so then after that it did not really matter.
Except most people outside of the #freethenipple thing don't actually care. I live near Austin where it's totally legal and have never once seen anyone exercise that right.
Like maybe some people will be topless at swimming pools, but besides that?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it's legal doesn't mean that the stigma is suddenly not there anymore /: I'd love to go topless but tbh I'm a bit afraid of being the first person (or one of the only people) excising the right.
You're right, there would be the initial shock reaction to women libertines sprouting up. If there were a movement towards the acceptance of nudity in public that could start to break in our society to the idea that nudity isn't sexual or wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For sure. A lot of us do care about freeing the nipple, but freeing it is a tough barrier to break right off the bat!
The spirit of my post was that the US had some crazy rules regarding the exposure of skin that 50-56% of the population have. I think if women were allowed to walk topless down the street, eventually it would become commonplace and maybe we could shed some of those puritanical ideologies that make people feel parts of them are dirty.
My father and I have learned to check when we watch movies with her. We watched Get Hard with Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart, which has a scene with Will Ferrell trying to force himself to suck a guy's dick.
I agree with /u/BlakeSteel. The reason boobs are so beautiful and worshipped upon is the fact that our exposure to them au naturale is so limited. If women started going topless in the summer, it would soon be too easy for pervs like me. Although if my women friends wanted to go topless (if only...), I would not stop them.
It is said that the chase is better than the catch. I could not agree more.
Yeah, because all that matters about sexist double-standards is whether men get off on it or not. /s
Maybe I want to be able to feel the wind and sun on my back & chest on a hot day, just like all the overweight, hairy male construction workers I see all the time. Or swim topless in the ocean. I am okay with the idea that men would (1) see my boobs and get excited and (2) apparently eventually get bored of boobs so long as they didn't harass me about it or leer like they're about to drag me off to their cave-dwelling.
Thank you for chiming in. My OP was pointed towards a naked human figure in public being a general expression of human beauty, and you supported my idea eloquently.
Well, the fact of the matter is that it's because of "the obvious reactions" aka men ruining it for us (okay, also an honourable mention to pearl-clutching women who would call the topless woman a slut or whatever). Plenty of women would love to have that freedom that men do to just whip their shirt off if it's uncomfortable!
Disliking food. Why the FUCK can't I but like Brussels sprouts? "Oh but /u/Frogger3344 these ones are different." FUCK YOU! All Brussels sprouts taste terrible. Don't be insulted if I universally don't like a food.
This one is pretty much a universal "Shut the fuck up!" for me.
Meat eaters, leave vegetarians alone.
Vegetarians, leave meat eaters alone.
Vegans, leave everyone else alone.
People who like <Insert food here>, leave people who don't like it alone.
Whatever you eat, enjoy it, and leave everyone else alone with what they like. Why is that so fucking difficult?
4077 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know when a vegan walks into the room? They fucking tell you.
I don't know, I'd feel pretty bad if I went somewhere to eat and a friend of mine chose to eat nothing. I doubt I'd push them about it, but I would find it hard to believe that there isn't a single item on a menu he/she would like, even if it was just a drink? I would just feel selfish, like I was wasting their time, making them watch me eat, that they are just being polite, and that I should have gone somewhere we both would have liked. I know that isn't actually the impression you're trying to give, but it's just how I would feel about it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:43:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most definitely. Fuck broccoli, man. Honestly, I couldn't eat that stuff if I tried. If I try to eat steamed broccoli or some pan seared squash or zucchini, I gag as soon as I put it in my mouth. Not in a childish "I don't want to eat this, you can't make me, I feel sick" thing. I really can't eat it. It triggers a gag reflex and I have to stop myself from puking everywhere, it's gross.
There's actually a biological difference between those who don't like sprouts and those who do - to some people they taste horribly bitter, to others there's no bitterness.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stella Artois Cidre. Not beer, tastes delicious. You might not like it, but if drinking stuff out of a bottle is the thing you need to do, this may be a way to do it.
kmillz1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:22:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On that note, having "not seen a movie". Fuck off I can't watch them all!
Omg this so much. People get literally offended when they find out I hate cheese. I try to not mention it but people end up asking and getting offended about why i'll ask for food without cheese at restaurants. I will say I understand people being offended if you refuse food THEY make but when food I order at a restaurant, wtf.
There is a difference though if it's being offered to you. Like if I was at someone's house and they offered me food it'd be rude to not try at least a little, even if it's something I don't like. Otherwise the other person eats awkwardly by themselves
Okay, but im an extremely picky eater, and most foods I dont like cause me to physically gag. So which is more rude, to refuse the offered food or to gag on it in front of them?
Growing up and not GAGGING (???) at something edible might be the least rude thing you could do. What the fuck kind of grown up can't stomach a spoonful of something? christ we're all turning into such goddamn fucking babies.
I've been trying to learn to not gag when I taste mushrooms for nearly thirty years - no success. Anything else I don't like I can stomach with a smile when I need to, but mushrooms knock me completely sick. Not all reflexes can be overriden.
Hopefully this happens in the presence of a cook who is more tolerant than I was in my comment. I should empathize that not everyone was raised to eat everything politely. Like that gagging thing you're talking about I can't even fathom, I only gag if I'm being physically choked by something. There's tons of stuff I don't like or prefer, but gagging on food never happened when I was a kid, so I guess I never experienced it later on. We were allowed to not eat things, but we had to try it. Growing up i actually self-identified as a picky eater because I didn't like certain things. Still ate everything if I was at someone's house, but I wasn't happy about it sometimes.
Then, I grew up and met people who refused to try things at all, and it just enraged me and continues to (I've dated too many men near the age of 30 who have not tried things and don't ever intend to). Now I know what an actual picky eater is.
My bar of tolerance is pretty low, I'm realizing. If its something you can politely put aside, then that's different than proclaiming its nasty and hurting someone's feelings, or returning a plate just because it was touched by something you didn't like. Sorry i sounded so judgy and i hope no one bakes mushrooms into your birthday cake.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:10:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No your reaction was justified. I know people who will claim to be allergic to things but the truth is they are liars,they just don't want to try things . Or the excuse "I just don't like the texture". Fuck your texture. And gagging on something is bullshit.
My girlfriend near when we started dated objected to the asparagus I was cooking. She thought she was picky but I don't play that shit. I asked her when she last had asparagus, she was 6, so 16 years previous. I told her there was nothing else to eat if she didn't try the asparagus. Turns out she loves it.
Its like picky eaters were beaten with brussels, fish, turnips and mushrooms as a child.
Or, and this is more likely, people just have different tastes than you. I'm willing to try most things, but some textures do make me feel sick. And some foods taste fucking strange. Celery literally tastes like smoke to me. It's like eating a cigarette.
I know that some people lie about allergies, but at the same time, I'm kind of okay with not pushing people who claim to be allergic. I mean, best case scenario is that I prove them a liar, but worst case is that they get ill or die because I thought they were lying and they weren't.
I hate hate HATE the texture of raw tomatoes. Texture, smell everything. But I'm an adult if it gets in my food I'm not jazzed but I won't cause a fuss, come on it's edible it won't kill me..
5432nun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I gagged on an oyster a couple of weeks ago! And I can handle oysters . . . as long as I don't chew. Someone said, "what?? You don't chew them a little?? What in carnation** is wrong with you?"
But man oh man, it was a violent gag, red-faced, tear ducts overflowing . . . still, I'm glad I tried a "scary" food because another possible outcome is that I would have liked it. Maybe I'll try it again after a while. I hope your mushroom dilemma works itself out!
** They did not actually use this word. That was added for dramatic effect.
Same for me, with food like oysters it's not the flavour but the texture that makes me feel sick. I can't handle raw fish, raw/ cured meats, milk or cream
it's not the flavour but the texture that makes me feel sick.
This is me. I can't handle it when my food is rubbery or can't be chewed/bitten into. Especially fat on meat. I hate fat on meat. It is literally chewing slimy rubber. That and rare steak/pork chops. What people see in blood-flavored, chewy chunks I'll never know.
On the other hand, I gotta disagree a little with frogger's hate; cooking foods a certain way can change how they taste drastically. You can put ingredients you don't like into something and have it come out amazing. It also works the other way around, there can be ways of making food that you'll readily dislike. I love raw tomatoes, but I can't stand them cooked at all. A lot of the time, people questioning your tastes in food will ask you if you've had them prepared a certain way. They don't all taste the same. Obviously it's rude if someone tries to push you into eating it, but you shouldn't be quick to assume they're always bad.
I don't think there is anything worse than someone looking at the food you are enjoying and saying "that's gross". Like, whatever, you don't like something but you are going try and demean me for liking something.
The behavior you're describing is what really bugs me. You can say, "I don't like X" if you MUST, which even that is stretching it (it's like if I say my mom's a montessori teacher and youre like jeez montessori is a load of baloney right after I say it... like congrats on being rude and brave?), but don't say a food item is gross, it's very privileged and douchey, on top of being just so egotistical:
"I don't like this, so this is, in absolutes, a bad food item"
fuck off will ya.
I told a younger cousin not to say this once and her mom was so mad she was like "she's just expressing herself" um no. If my ma's gone out her way to cook for your crap kid and they don't like vegetables, that's not a child expressing herself, that's her being a bad guest. If you don't even want to eat it, you may do so quietly, but don't sit around calling food gross because you personally don't have the palate to appreciate it.
CRAG7 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:46:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gagging is a natural reflex We can't all be perfect beings like you.
yes... because withholding disgust and ickle feelies, and being polite during food consumption is 'perfection.' Gagging is a reflex to defend yourself from something noxious or from physical choking, not to validate your privilege and pickiness, it can be trained to be heightened or dampened. Most grown ups train themselves into a higher tolerance than when they werechidren.. are you seeing what I'm getting at here.
I'm a normal person in real life, but by the social standards of the people on here i'm some neat-freaked, posh piece of shit. y'all are ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:19:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's kind of a fair one, it's an intentionally stinky stinky cheese. I don't consider someone who doesnt like caviar or cheese or something pretty stinky, a picky eater (not that my definition is gold standard, but to give you an idea of where I'm coming from). My comment is regarding 'picky' eaters who only eat fried stuff covered with cheese which is really not trying anything after childhood, nevermind complete disregard for their adult nutrition.
CRAG7 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:19:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I may be ridiculous, but at least I'm not a sanctimonious prick. You do you, dude.
Edit: I'm not saying if you gag you should do it loudly and obviously. Don't be rude, but more often than not, gagging can't really be stopped. Swallow what you can and be polite. When asked if you want any more, say no thank you, you're full, or some other polite way of getting out of eating more. Nothing wrong with being a picky eater. You know what you like and what you don't. Don't let people make you feel like an asshole for not enjoying some food. I personally can't stand mayo or anything that uses it. It genuinely disgusts me and it would take a lot of willpower to put that in my mouth. I'd do my best if I was at a girlfriend's parent's place, but I'm not going to cram more into me than I can muster. I'd probably take a couple bites of whatever the dish is and keep eating the rest of the food. At the end I'd just say I couldn't eat anymore because I'm too full. If you have a different opinion, you don't need to state it like your opinion is the end all be all of opinions.
As someone that occasionally and involuntarily gags on food I love due to unintentional psychosomatic thoughts or poorly timed bad smells, I don't think you're properly acknowledging that a lot of people would like to not gag when eating things but can't control it or readily expose themselves to the stimuli enough to reduce its frequency.
It's usually not conscious I don't think, I know my brother had to think about it actively but I just grew out of disliking certain flavor bases especially smoky flavor for example. The same way girls/guys can train themselves for certain activities... Kinda like that but easier when you're younger.
I mean I literally cant not do it. I try to stomach things when I can, and I try new stuff when its offered to me, and if I can eat it great, and if I cant my body reflexively gags, no matter how hard I try to stop it from doing so. And I fucking hate it. I feel like a ten year old. I cant go to certain restaurants, I have to eat before I go to other peoples houses, or just go hungry and play it off as I didnt want to eat anything anyways. Im so sick of the same foods, over and over. If I could stomach these things without visibly heaving I would
Do you... do you know what gagging is? It's a physical reaction, not somebody throwing a tantrum and trying to be a dick. If I could somehow decide not to gag on certain specific textures I probably would like those foods! (If you felt like you were going to throw up every time you ate chocolate, you would probably develop a dislike of it, right?) The problem is that I can't. I do try to eat what's in front of me if I'm at someone's house, even if I don't like it, because the idea of coming off as unappreciative or insulting them in some way is utterly mortifying to me, but trying to almost-vomit in a way that is subtle and undetectable to those around you is pretty difficult and being put in that situation is not really my favorite experience.
If somebody is allergic to cats, you wouldn't tell them to just "grow up" and get a cat, would you? Even if you really liked cats and thought they were the best thing ever? No, because their body has a negative physical reaction to cats, so it would be stupid to put themselves through that for no reason other than "because somebody else likes them."
I can understand getting annoyed by people who won't ever go outside a toddler's diet of mac-n-cheese and hot dogs to try new things, but it seems crazy to me to freak out at someone who prefers not to put something in their body when they've tried it before and know that it causes them to feel nauseated. One is a case of being close-minded, the other is somebody preferring to avoid things that are known to cause physical discomfort.
I always try to let friends know this before they attempt to make me something with it.
Yea I do realize my first statement was a little too judgy, sorry. There's a difference between what you do and people just refusing to try things. you've tried it and hated it, and tell people. It's different than showing up to a party and not eating anything because it's not deep fried and coverd in cheese, and I was mostly visualizing those kinds of 'picky eaters' who aren't actually practicing discerning taste, they're just refusing to eat things and making everyone else's lives miserable in the process. OR, they're saying "That's disgusting" when what they really should be saying is "I don't like this," and absorbing the responsibility for their preference.
oh good, the miserable shits of Tumblr have arrived.
I'm talking about grown ass men who wont eat courteously when someone has cooked a meal from them. If the guy wanted to say "But i have ARFID/SED," he would have, and that's different than this.
I know someone with SED and it's not a joke, she has gone through years of therapy and can now add to her diet which is rad. That isn't this. 'picky eaters' pretending they have it is a slap in the face of people with an actual disorder abd surprise surprise, a lot of them are actually trying to help themselves!
TLDR: I'm sympathetic to those who have actual eating disorders. Statistically, how possible is it that every picky eater has a disorder and its selectively, surprisingly, only french fries and fried chicken and pizza they can eat?
that's like telling me every lazy fat person is fat because they have a thyroid problem. Could it be true? OF COURSE. is it true? probably not.
Your racing to judgment is showing again. I avoid tumblr like the plague. I am someone who suffers from SED, and if you know someone as you say how do they deal with your 'Just grow up and stop gagging like a baby'
Disliking anything someone likes. Goo to r/movies and say that you didn't like In Bruges and prepare to be mercilessly attacked. Most people are s insecure I their personal choices that they demand everyone around them agree. It's no different than the attitude that religious fundies have.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And those times you HAVE to taste it and say it's great, even though it's not really your favourite cause otherwise your SO's mom or your grandma won't stop nagging you.
I sometimes really dislike eating with my parents because they can be the worst about this. I'm a bit fussy about food. It's no choice of mine. I simply don't find a number of foods to be very good tasting.
But my parents often taking this personally. They act like I'm ungrateful for the meal just because I didn't eat as much as normal (which I guess is a good sign that I didn't like the food that much).
Why should I have to stuff my face with food that might make me gag just to appease your feelings? I don't understand why more people wouldn't understand it's nothing personal. Nobody likes every food and nobody chooses what foods they like.
4077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate salmon and any fish that tastes fishy no matter how you cook it. People don't understand why I'll eat tilapia, but not salmon. I fucking hate the flavor, that's why.
The chart in this article shows the addiction rate versus the cost of the drug war over time. I'm drug friendly because I figure people will be addicts regardless of how much we spend to fight against them. Make them legal, but keep people informed of the dangers.
Isn't that the problem with them? I have little to no experience with drugs, but isn't the issue with them being addicting and therefore difficult to keep under moderation.
Certain drugs like pot, mushrooms, lsd aren't chemically addictive. Although there are arguments that they can be psychologically addictive.
Edit: a lot of people pointing out that anything can be psychologically addictive, which is true, but an addiction to a drug that affects your mental state is probably worse than being addicted to reddit.
Yeah I'm addicted to weed, but not chemically. It's a habit like looking at reddit every day or playing video games when I'm bored. It's not something that has come to be a problem in my life, so I have no desire to change it.
Not really any different to someone smoking a cigarette or two every day except you're doing less permanent damage to your lungs/mouth/etc and there's nothing chemically addicting. But oh noes weed "messes with your head" so don't smoke the scary plant but instead huff on this tube of this other plant plus nicotine and a bunch of other chemicals because it's a valid lifestyle choice!
Although there are arguments that they can be psychology addictive
which can be said for anything that people derive pleasure from. at that point its really more your personality as an individual.
Edit: when i said personality i meant anything to do with your mind. so if you are depressed or traumatized, that can lead to becoming addicted to something that is not chemically addictive. i apologize for the wording i used.
It's still an important aspect to take into account though. Take World of Warcraft for example. Whether you like it or not it is heavily recognised as a very addictive game for a lot of people. I'm pretty sure you can read stories of people who have lost their lives to the game and had to spend time trying to take it back.
Obviously it's important to not act like weed is guaranteed to get you addicted but to act like a good chance of it happening isn't there is also somewhat irresponsible.
All I read from your post was World of Warcraft and thought to myself 'wouldn't it be nice hopping back on my disc. healing priest and playing for a bit?' I don't even know what this thread is about anymore and I haven't played for years.
Case in point. Same goes for people who smoke a lot of weed. It honestly depends on how you use said pleasure, though. If you played WoW to escape, or smoke weed to cope with anxiety, you will more likely become addicted than if you smoke recreationally at a party. Crutches are addictive.
yes but those people have addictive personalities. I do too sort of. im a binger, when I find something I like I do it and over do it for a period, then toss it aside and forget about it. cant tell you how many hours I put into ffxi before I eventually left it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, then you learn about Blizzard hiring a team a psychologists to make it even more addicting, but they play it off as "increasing the entertainment value of our product".
That some compulsive people might get addicted =/= good chance of it happening. And I say that as a non-addict who chooses to smoke pot every day more or less.
alas getting the chance is the impossible bit. unless i figure out how to make my own lol.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? Are you in the US, or another country? LSD is moderately hard to find here in the US, but not impossible. Outside, that I do not know.
im in the US. but its not like I can just stop by the local supermarket and get me some. and anyone offering id feel is a cop, and anyone id ask would think im a cop lol. at least that's my perspective on it. maybe if I was into the rave scene or something but im more of a homebody.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it is hard to find, definitely have to know someone well before asking, and even then, you need a test kit to determine if it is real. Mushrooms are way easier to find, and hard to fake.
well they are probably growing for mass quantity to sell then where bad yields affects profits. for someone just looking to try some for themselves and experience something wonderful its just some jars and a plastic bin lol.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:59 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was basically the set up I saw, but then there was a lot of effort made to control the temp and humidity, to control germs, and maximize yield. It was a commercial grow, but it was still jars and plastic boxes. Just rigor and scale that makes the difference.
Downvoted for sharing an actual story from someone I know? I don't get reddit sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:05:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LSD is about the LEAST addictive drug I can think of. I also wouldn't recommend it as your first dabble into psychedelics. It can be pretty intense and last up to 12 hours. Something like mushrooms gives you a pretty similar experience, but usually only lasts about 4 hours and for me is easier to "control".
I agree. It's extremely difficult to become addicted to LSD, but that's not to say that it's not a dangerous drug. It's very difficult to control your actions on LSD, which may lead to dangerous behavior (running out into traffic). Please have someone not "tripping" with you if you ever decide to try it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the idea that you'd run into traffic is a bit silly. I've been tripping hard enough that everything around me was a fractal, and I still wouldn't have gone into traffic. It's more the psychological dangers that you really need to worry about.
If you have some shit in your past or your present to work out, you had best be ready to confront it head on. That's really what the babysitter is there for. Not to stop you from jumping off a building, but to remind you that what you're feeling is the result of taking a drug and it's only temporary.
Some people taking LSD may accidentally take NBOME (both are taken on blotter paper and they may not know that NBOME tastes bitter/metallic). Enough NBOME will get you tripping so hard that you cannot see reality anymore. You won't be able to control your movements at all.
With mushrooms, for me, theres a strong sense of an 'outside force' directing your trip. Things can get dramatic, sinister and scary very quickly if you're unlucky. LSD is intense and long but the trip feels like its 'yours to travel' so to speak. As far as first dabble 4-HO-MET is where its at. Playful, light-hearted fun, at least at smaller doses.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting that I've had exactly the opposite. I feel like it's easier to properly dose shrooms. You can only do a little.. whereas a tab is a tab. You're in or your out.
I've never left myself on shrooms, but I have had acid trips as intense as salvia. I can handle it - and even enjoy it - in short bursts, but a couple hours of that scrambles reality a bit too much for me.
I've always looked at it like shrooms show you the world around you that you didn't realize was there. Acid shows you everything about yourself that you never knew was there. I always felt like the latter had more potential for The Fear.
LOL I've never touched LSD but have done mushrooms. I think Mushrooms (and hallucinogens in general) are the furthest thing from a substance that could lead to habitual use.
Not just personality, though. Lots of things affect susceptibility to addiction, including stress level, sophistication of coping skills, support network, biological disposition, locus of control, level of hope, etc. Personality is another on that list, as is the chemical composition of the addictive substance.
I believe there is a harm in reducing the problem to just one of those components (eg: "Drugs are bad," or, "It's really more your personality"), because it tends to create blame and stigma around whatever component is selected. Looking at a broader picture creates many more avenues to change/progress (eg: "Why don't we see if we can help folks reduce stress and/or improve coping?" or, "Why don't we strengthen people's support networks?").
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean as long as you're responsible none of that should matter, doing pot or acid on weekend to unwind isn't going to negatively impact anyone around you, so why is it stigmatised so much?
Tobacco and alcohol are not seen nearly as negatively despite them being perfectly legal, and sometimes even expected for an adult to do in public. Have you ever come across violent and raucous weed users out on a night, disrupting everyone around them? I doubt it.
oh im totally with you. the fact that pot is slowly being legalized is amazing. imo people should be allowed to do whatever they please with themselves so long as they are not harming anyone else.
IIRC, lsd is even anti-addictive sometimes. like using it makes you not wanna do it for a little while. or something.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:07:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that after the last time I did it, I wanted to wait a while before doing it again. It's been about 15 years..
loklanc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a long time between reboots.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even now, I never say "never again", but I would need time to prepare myself, as opposed to any number of other drugs where I would just be like "Sure.. that sounds fun."
Yeah he did haha... He said caffeine withdrawals make you like a useless junky. I guess he may have been exaggerating, in which case it went over my head lol. But I just wanted to make sure he didn't actually think that haha
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, nobody is right haha... It depends entirely on the person, cuz drugs are pretty damn subjective lol.
For me, I drank energy drinks daily for a month or so. Quiting was easy. The withdrawals consisted of: being more tired than usual in the morning, and being more cranky in the morning. After a few hours of class and getting a good meal in, I was fine. Wd lasted about 2 bad days, 1 iffy day, then i was fine
Quitting weed after smoking daily for a month causes me to entirely lose my appetite (counted once, and I struggled to get 1200 calories in me, when I'm usually easily clear of 2200). It also causes me terrible anxiety about going to bed at night, leading to sleepless nights that left me far more tired than a lack of caffeine ever did.
As far as cravings go, they were equally bad in the morning, but caffeine cravings usually are gone by like noon when I'm fully awake. Weed cravings last all day and into the night. Never stops, for like a week or two afterwards, well past wds
So like I said, there is no clear answer here. I was just saying I disagree with the blanket statement "caffeine is worse than pot". Maybe it is for some people, but I'm willing to bet there's just as many people that think it's the other way.
Also, lol I have noticed tons of people take caffeine t-breaks... I've done it, my roommates have done it. Pretty sure my mom's done it. Maybe nobody you know has, but people do lol
I used to have 4 cups of coffee, a 5 hour energy or mio energy, and at night I'd start drinking energy drinks like red bull/monster.
It'd be like a dude who smoked one hitters saying his withdrawals weren't bad compared to a guy who smoked dabs all day.
I guess this is why this is subjective, but medically they compare quitting caffeine to quitting cigarettes. It's because caffeine is a dopamine thing, like nicotine, so it causes some pretty serious depression.
Well yeah if you drink that much coffee it'll be terrible withdrawals. But if you smoked the equivalent amount of weed, the withdrawals would be equivalently bad. Again, it's all subjective. Neither is worse than the other in general
There are objective ways to argue caffeine withdrawal is worse, and arguments in favor of that point will only grow as we learn more about the brain's physical structure.
Caffeine is a part of the dopamine re-uptake pathway, it affects your ability to feel happy physically. It also has been classified as physically addictive, unlike weed, which is merely psychologically addictive.
One is worse than the other, and although we might differ in our opinion, the evidence overwhelmingly says that caffeine is more harmful.
Well yeah, addiction to video games is psychological addiction. But so is heroin. Heroin can be both physical and psychological, or just one or the other.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Actually coke is ONLY psychological, not physical.
I don't recall hearing about anyone losing their job and becoming a useless member of society over coffee.
berryer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:38:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People rarely go through caffeine withdrawal unless by choice though - most workplaces provide coffee. I decided to tone down my intake when i realized i got the shakes around noon daily if i wasn't one or two energy drinks in by then, and the physical withdrawal definitely made me a lot less productive for awhile
I'd say the difference is that it makes you more focused as opposed to more comfortable - meth or adderall is a better more-addictive thing to draw connections to than heroin. In low doses meth is prescribed for add/adhd because it does help with focus, but just like caffeine the amounts people take when abusing it are often far above moderation. IIRC truckers used to take small doses of meth to keep awake for long-hauls before legal limits on driving hours came into effect
There's a lot more going on in energy drinks than simply caffeine. Coffee and tea are simple beverages compared to the concoction of chemicals an energy drink is.
berryer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also true, but a 2L of mountain dew would also suffice. Tbh at that point most of the drinks i preferred had primarily caffeine & B-vitamins as the active ingredients
Pretty much all I drink is 10+ Litres of water per day and coffee/tea in the morning/evening. Milk on cereal and maybe orange juice?
I think the alcohol example a higher comment gave about it being seen as a (social) tool rings true for coffee too, except it serves a different purpose. In moderation and taking into account tolerances for the active ingredient in both, it can be used effectively or abused.
Although there are arguments that they can be psychology addictive
I wouldnt really say "arguments" because its a known problem. Anything from daily marijuana use to daily coffee consumption can turn into a habit that is hard to break.
This also explains why its hard for people to come to a consensus on how addicting pot really is: everyone is going to experience varying levels of difficulty to quit.
Yeah I know a guy who's really psychologically addicted to the 3 you listed. It's very sad. Everytime I talk to him it bums me out. All he talks about is how he keeps having bad trips because he does to many drugs and he's fucking up his life.
The danger is measured in how it affects your ability to function in other aspects of life. With that as the framework, reddit can be as detrimental as a gambling addiction, sex addiction, even some drug addictions. The only nice thing about it is that it doesn't really have any permanent physical effects. Unless you count heart disease due to lack of physical activity.
Can confirm that marijuana can be addictive. Smoked daily for almost three years. I can go without smoking and be fine, but man do I want to really bad if I don't. It's almost like drinking soda. You know you'll love if you just drink water but it isn't as satisfying.
The distinction between psychologically addictive and chemically addictive is a misconception.
Addiction can be caused by anything that activates the dopamine circuits in your brain; the more powerful the activator the more likely to cause addiction, but the mechanism is the same.
See "The Compass of Pleasure" by Dr. David Linden.
Do you happen to know why it has a negative effect on schizophrenics? I'm worried it might generalize to people with other sorts of psychological disabilities, like myself.
If I recall correctly, it just made them have an shcizophrenic episode. MAPS is researching LSD, Psycoblin (Shrooms), and Mescaline as medicine to cure things like depression, ptsd, and bipolar.
If you're wondering whether you're the type of person likely to have a bad trip but are curious nonetheless, Id start with a very high dose of weed as a tester. If you have a bad time on that probably best to stay away from psychedelics, at least for the time being. Of course the safest option would be to not take anything
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't everything affect your mental state? Reddit alters your mood like a motherfucker. It makes you happy, sad, angry, and all other sorts of things.
You know what I mean. Pot can increase your reaction time, make you paranoid. Psychoactive drugs can make you see things that aren't there. I guess my point is that these are the sorts of things that would have 'do not operate heavy machinery' warnings if you had a prescription.
True, but I think you'd also prefer a guy who was pissed or crying wasn't operating heavy machinery either.
I know what you're trying to say though. Natural changes in mood aren't anything compared to drug-induced changes, let alone hallucinations and other drug effects.
I feel like, with certain exceptions, drug penalties shouldn't be more than a year in prison. I feel like a year in a shitty ass place is a good enough time out.
100% You can become addicted to being high and disconnecting yourself from the world around you. Although it's not an addictive substance, using it in excess could cause depression, anxiety, and in some extreme cases schizophrenia(usually if the person has a family history of it or it is dormant)
I'd totally say that I was addicted to weed, I thought i needed it to be calm and happy (anxiety problems). I won't go into the details but basically I was high the majority of this past year (and every day from Dec-May).
However, I've since moved and have been sober, switching from weed and gaming to bass/guitar and coding. If this had been legal alcohol or narcotics, I could easily be dead or in rehab.
Yes I know, no addiction is always greater than the alternative. Sadly that's not how it works, many in my position have become alcoholics or suicidal. I was just unproductive
I though the issue with one of those hallucinogens (shrooms, I think) was that you can a relapse completely without warning at any time after your first experience. This is what makes me stay the hell away from shrooms.
Please correct me if the above is bullshit or inaccurate. I'd love to be wrong here.
In regards to your edit, I'd like to highlight that some activities and genetic predispositions can put someone in significantly different mental states, such as addictions to gambling or shopping specifically, or (more broadly) anything to an extreme where it precludes productivity you would have attained otherwise.
Ex: Netflix and other videos; WoW, SecondLife, Facebook games/apps, The Sims, and other (multi?)player social experiences; Reddit and other forms of reading (electronic or otherwise).
I disagree. An addiction to reddit CAN be worse then an addiction to non-chemically addictive drugs. It just matters how it effects your quality of life and functionalbility. I might be psychologically addicted to marijuana, but the addiction only effects my ability to sleep, thus, I must ingest before going to bed. Thats not a bad addicition. Now, I may be addicted to reddit, and I put off school work, or eating, or going outside, or other responsabilities. It all depends on how each addiciton effects your way of life.
Absolutely. I recently got into an argument with a guy on here not long ago when I said my brother was addicted to weed. He 1000% is but no, weed is non habit forming, totally safe and natural.
It's not always safe, it can def be habit forming and you know what else is natural? Bears. Would you smoke a bear? I wouldn't.
I'm also very pro marihuana. Smoked it for years and even dealt for a while in college. But had to quit for my job and the birth of my son. But it's ruining my brothers life because he's to stubborn to see that he has a problem.
It seems to me that the underlying assumption under that article is that 'if chemical addiction was true, it would be totally impossible to kick the habit.' If you accept the idea that it could be possible, but difficult to quit, then it makes sense even with the existence of 'chemical hooks' as the author calls them.
The human brain is incredibly complicated, and I don't claim to fully understand it, no one does. But I'm pretty sure there are many reward and other neuro-receptor pathways in the brain. A lot of these have to do with social aspects. I think that's why people are capable of going to such extremes for loved ones, will do crazy things in cults, and why we in general enjoy social interaction. There is something behind the 'life is a drug' statement.
But it is also true that drugs, especially some of the 'harder' ones mess with your brain chemistry. It is totally possible to then find other things in life that being you pleasure and kick the habit, but your brain is still altered so that those things don't give you as much pleasure compared to the drug. If those other things drop, former addicts will turn back to the drugs much faster than someone else will pick them up. My friends uncle kicked heroin, got married, had a happy life clean for years. Had a shitty weekend, relapsed and OD'd.
I read that article as saying that there are a lot of positive things in life that we can harness to help motivate addicts to quit. We can help them through love rather than punishment. But discounting the chemical processes that underly many drug addictions is dangerous.
Having bipolar myself, I know all too well what happens when your neurochemistry gets altered/becomes out of whack. It messes with you and your thought patterns so much, and the way it makes you feel is not something that you can magically snap out of.
However, I do believe that the article is partially correct - it would be easier for people to quit drugs if they were happier in themselves. There would be less need for them to have a 'crutch'.
I'm no expert either, but wouldn't a person's neurochemistry change, and become more normalised if they stopped taking a drug for a long period of time?
Lol those people clearly haven't actually tried the drugs they speak of.
wenaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, when I smoke weed, I'm usually walking a dog, out hiking, bout to play some sports and when I reddit, I'm not doing anything good for me. Although, there are fair arguments for every side.
Yimms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How? If I waste 5 hours on reddit or 5 hours being high what's the difference? Who's even to say that time is wasted? Addiction is only defined when a behavior negatively impacts your life and yet you do it continuously.
Marijuana in particular is probably not as bad for you as alcohol. Excessive marijuana use does have some health risks, but so does junk food, caffeine, lack of exercise, and so forth.
As someone who smoke weed from the moment I woke up til the moment I went to bed for 4 years straight, has taken lots of shrooms and LSD - people who say that they're not addictive are idiots and they're living in denial.
I could understand with LSD and Psilocibin Shrooms because those drugs lose their potency when taken close together and sometimes they can lose their effect on you altogether.
Pot, however, is probably one of the most addictive substances I know.
Pro-pot activists will tell you all day "It isn't chemically addictive" or "there's no evidence" or whatever, but ask any non-smoker who is the parent, spouse, sibling or best friend of a wake-n-baker and they will tell you it is unquestionably addictive.
When potheads run out of dope the very first thing they do is go get more.
When potheads run out of dope and don't have money, the first thing they do is make arrangements with friends.
When potheads run out of dope and don't have money and their friends aren't willing to make arrangements with them, they'll let their cellphone bill go unpaid or bite the bullet and tell their landlord they can't make rent this week.
I personally believe this is why it's taking so long for North America to get their shit together with responsible drug legislation - the people who are smoking it aren't being honest with themselves or the community.
It wasn't until I got a job in Asia where smoking weed is extremely prohibited and punishable by many years in prison and tens of thousands of dollars in fines that I stepped out of the haze. I literally had been high as a fucking kite for the past 4 years right up until the day before I got on the plane... and for the first 2-3 months off the stuff it's all I thought about.
I didn't wanna watch movies, play video games, go out for dinner - cause they just didn't seem like fun if I wasn't high before them. It took me a while to really realize how addicted I was to smoking weed.
So even if there's no physical dependency, weed is still a highly addictive substance. I don't think it's a bad thing necessarily, but I do think it's problematic when potheads act like they could just put down the pipe and walk away if they wanted to.
Yeah only drugs can take over ones mind and destroy ones body leading to an inferior quality of life and shortened lifespan, as an obese American I can cut back any time
Delsana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:58:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There aren't arguments. There is hard core evidence that no one informed argues against. There's hundreds of types of addictions and Cannabis maintains high habitual, psychosomatic, social, obsessive and other such addictions.
Reddit addiction would relate towards internet or social reward giving situational addictions. Those are terrible. People don't get smart by going to Reddit or staring at their phone all day. We don't trade in facts, research, logic, or intelligent pursuits on this site. The internet barely knows what research is other than those places you were told to go for your research paper you likely didn't do properly.
Hallucinogens are defined as
"A psychoactive agent which can cause hallucinations, perception anomalies, and other substantial subjective changes in thoughts, emotion, and consciousness."
Do you disagree?
The very definition of a hallucinogen is that it fucks with a your mind. I don't see anything that guarantees it will always give you good hallucinations.
Never tried 'em eh? Even a bad trip won't make you want to kill people, you're still rational. Except for possibly Salvia and some of the other research chemicals out there today....those probably shouldn't be legal.
Salvia is a plant, and should indeed be legal. By itself, it's a very mild drug. It's when you ave people extracting the pure chemicals out of it dozens of times over that you get something so powerful that you lose yourself for a few minutes. The worst I've ever seen on that though is my mate just started saying sorry and feel to the ground and cried til the drug wore off. That was a large bong hit of 40x or 60x salvia I think.
Yeah I don't know what it was about the stuff I tried. It looked like dried plant leaves so I assumed that there wasn't much tampering with it chemically. One huge bong rip later and I no longer saw anything that was in front of me. I was in a completely different place and if I didn't have my friend watching me I would almost definitely have hurt myself. I could go into more detail about what I saw and felt but it almost sounds ridiculous. I assure you it happened though!
It's possible it may have been sprayed, like they do with that legal shit(some of it's now illegal i think), or stronger rating, or maybe the experience just varies.
Doesn't surprise me too much though, really high strength salvia can do that
If you're keen to share more of the story I'm keen to listen.
Sure. The funny thing is this was about 10ish years ago when Salvia wasn't very well known. So I bought some "10x" stuff from a store called Hot Rags in my local mall. It actually came in a purple container that had the text "Purple Sticky Salvia" engraved into it.
I'll also say that this wasn't the first time I had tried salvia, but the times before this one we didn't use a torch lighter or take nearly as big of a hit from a bong... so the previous trips were mostly just laughing attacks, mild visuals, and all around pretty euphoric for 5-10 mins.
Now this time it was just me and my friend and we wanted to do it right so we got a bong with a deep bowl and loaded it to the brim. We had also heard using a torch lighter on salvia will enhance the effects due to the higher heat or something? (No idea how true that is!) Before smoking we had discussed that while tripping we shouldn't try to walk around since you have really terrible motor functions on salvia.
So my friend goes first and completely cashes out the bowl and hands me the bong right away so as not to break it. After a few seconds he starts laughing for no reason that I can tell and IMMEDIATELY tries to stand up and walk around. I kept a hand on his shoulder and made sure he wasn't going to get up and hurt himself. He was staring off into space and not reacting to me at all at this point. So I eventually sense he's starting to come down and I let him kind of stand up and walk around while making sure he didn't fall. He eventually sits down on the ground and starts cracking up again pointing at my computer chair that he was just sitting in and asks me "Can you just tell me... what that thing is?" Shortly after this he started to come out of it and acted normal again. Pretty crazy to see how he acted and after he came down he told me that during the trip he saw a giant log cabin wall that seemed to go on forever and he couldn't move past it... we kind of think me holding him back in his chair had something to do with the giant wall that was in his way lol.
So now it's my turn and I'm thinking I'll be fine since I've done it at least 5 or 6 times before this. So we did the same thing, I cashed out the bong and he took it from me. I remember starting to laugh and then everything changed. I had NO recollection of having smoked salvia so in my mind everything was real. Instead of my basement I saw an entire field with tall grass blowing in the wind and a perfect stream going through the field. At the end of the stream was a row boat and a man who was beckoning me to come to the boat. (SERIOUSLY not making this up. never had anything like this happen to me before with any other psychadelic.) He apparently kept me from walking around as I don't remember much else after seeing that. At some point after I couldn't walk around my vision kind of went white and I saw a black line coming down in the center of my vision... when it hit the bottom of my line of sight it started to swirl like soft serve ice cream coming out of a machine. My brain then saw the swirl slowly morph into a computer chair and I could see myself sitting back relaxing in the chair... So I guess it was my first and only out of body experience. Really messed up! I came out of it shortly after that and just had a mild body high for a few more minutes.
Overall... I don't think I would even try salvia again after that insanity! But at least I didn't have a bad trip and overall it was quite the experience! I can definitely see how people can severely injure themselves or even die on a drug like that!
Really then why would people take them ever? Because when used correctly they provide a positive experience, with minimal harm to them or others around them.
I don't think you know what you're talking about, kid.
Hallucinations != fucking with your mind.
If you take LSD, you don't see dragons and fairies and pink elephants. You need to take massive doses of LSD to experience the phenomena of other entities. And at that high of dose, your body is incapacitiated. You're lying, on a couch, with your eyes closed, unable to move. When you do get to the point where you can move again, you don't want to because you're so exhausted you'd rather just lay there and be entertained by the beautiful colors, geometric shapes, and the thought processes of your mind.
"A hallucinogen is a psychoactive agent which can cause hallucinations, perception anomalies, and other substantial subjective changes in thoughts, emotion, and consciousness."
The problem is when you have a bad trip and freak out, not take too many. Honestly there pretty safe anyway, I was pointing out not all drugs are addictive.
They can still be psychologically addictive though. I am aware you probably know that just wanted to point it out, so people don't think it's impossible to get addicted to them.
That would only happen if you are prone to a psychotic or neurotic break in the first place. Either it be family history of mental illness or if you are not right in the head to begin with.
Some are extremely addictive, don't do those ones. The rest of them are ok as long as you can keep yourself from becoming psychologically addicted to the high they give you.
For instance, most people who smoke weed do so not because they have to, but because they want to. If they no longer wanted to, they would stop. Heroin, on the other hand, has a lot of users that really want to stop, but they just have to have their fix.
Stay away from the heroin-like drugs and keep your head in the right place, and a lot of drugs can make for a really fun day/night with great friends without it taking over your life!
So long as you don't have a really addictive personality, a good amount of things are fine in moderation. It's just a bullshit social stigma that all drugs are immediately addictive.
CrunchatizeMe_Capn was referring to the fact that many people who browse Reddit are not "professional businessmen."
Not saying this in a bad way, but a lot of Reddit users are more common folk who probably work in construction, food industry, and similar jobs. In these types of jobs, you aren't looked down upon for responsibly using drugs. A lot of people use drugs so there's no social stigma around it. A 45 year old district manager of a tech company is not likely to be smoking weed on the weekends because of the social stigma around "doing drugs" and being a "stoner." If other people knew he used drugs, even responsibly, he would be looked down upon and his career would be lessened.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of. They vary a bit though and it mostly has to do with why you're using instead of what.
Like I've used coke, mdma, opioids, and a couple pysches in the past. But in those situations it was to improve upon an experience or just to try out the headspace. I haven't used any of those in over two years and don't miss them at all.
But weed? I used it whenever i was bored and/or to suppress feelings and I'm jonesing hard for it every day that i don't use it.
As a drug user for the past 15 years I can tell you that drugs most certainly can be used in moderation. I have used almost everything with the exception of opiates and have not become dependent in any way.
Coke was hard to say no to when a party was going on but I could turn it down any day of the week. Meth was not addictive to me nor were hallucinogenic drugs. Pot makes me lazy and I don't really like that feeling unless I am trying to sleep.
I am a very productive member of society and am actually better off than 90% of the people I know. Drugs have a stigma and it was mostly manifested in the 1960's with Regan. Humans are creatures of habit and the habits whether they be shopping, gambling, drinking, gaming or drugs. Are very hard to break, you are not so much addicted to the substance as you are to the routine. If you do not allow drugs to become routine you will be 100% fine. I know I am.
Strong addiction rates are much lower than the myths around them. Even cocaine, crack and heroin don't have more than 40% addiction rates and are mostly used occasionally. Problem is, you don't know which side of this stat you'll fall in and you may be among those who get hooked immediately and overwhelmingly.
I've done marijuana, cocaine, mushrooms, caffiene, and nicotine. In my experience, cocaine is about as addictive as caffeine, maybe a tad more, and nicotine is the most addictive thing I've tried. Nicotine is also the only thing I regret doing.
I know people that have done heroin and i would never touch the stuff, it seems to be HIGHLY addictive. The biggest issue I have is addicts are thrown in jail for a short period to "clean up" but don't receive any treatment, so they end up right back on drugs when they get out. It would be cheaper and more effective to close some prisons and open rehab facilities in their place. Other countires have had success with treatment over incarceation. I think they keep prisons around because they want to keep money in that sector. It has nothing to do with protecting people or even trying to keep people off drugs.
My buddy's dad and step-mom used to snort heroin. It wasn't until they started main-lining that things took a turn. The sad part is that his dad started on opiates because that's what he was prescribed for back pain. Then his doctor got busted for writing bad scripts and they cut him off from opiates cold turkey. Right before he ODed, he would pass out standing up, while in the middle of a conversation. He actually ODed twice but my buddy found him the first time and saved him.
Well it depends entirely on the drug. You don't have to try very hard to get addicted to opiates. All you need is a readily available supply and a few weeks.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this were actually the issue, I don't think alcohol and cigarettes would be legal.
Lots of stuff that is freely available is addictive or harmful.
I think the reason people get so up in arms about drugs being legalised is because there's a massive double standard when it comes to some drugs vs alcohol/tobacco.
A lot of them aren't addictive, though there can be other negative effects. A blanket ban isn't necessarily a consistent approach given how many deaths occur due to alcohol and road traffic accidents. It is possible to do some drugs safely, have a good time and continue to be a productive member of society. A hell of a lot of legally prescribed drugs are dangerous and/or addictive, but it's deemed ok for medical use, but not just for pleasure. Why is that?
One issue with illegal drugs is that you don't have quality control, that makes them risky and is something legalisation could fix.
Part of the problem is talking about "drugs" instead of specific substances. Heroin is very different to pot which is very different to psilocybin. Why does alcohol get special treatment?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ice smoked weed and taken e/molly and had a great great time in all settings. But never crave for then and never rely on them.
I can dance like a maniac without drugs, molly just makes me even better about everything, and makes me feel lights to a degree etc.
A lot of drugs are non addictive. Weed, acid, shrooms, etc, are common non addictive drugs that have no long term debalitating effects as far as we know. Even addictive drugs such as coke and heroin can be tolerated, but moderation is really key with these. It's easy to get sucked into the addiction and then it becomes a need. I think reddit is pretty pot friendly, which is what most people are saying when they say "drugs".
To start "the issue" is largely propaganda. Fearmongering that typically begins in elementary school is based on the kind of crazy mythologies that narcotics enforcers tell one another to justify their horrific abuses of power. Journalists get ratings by doing stories on the big bad scary drug problem, not by sticking to fact-based scientific content.
Then there are the underlying social problems. Poverty, homelessness, and the borderline sadism of management at most unskilled and semi-skilled workplaces -- often "addicts" are actually medicating for real underlying stress and pain beyond what would be so abundant in a sane and prosperous society. Weeks of "drugs are bad, mmkay" seminars aren't going to accomplish much if the "addict" is thrown right back into the same pit of despair at the end of rehab. What is often called "relapse" is more sensibly regarded as a return to self-medication when faced with no other means of escaping routine misery.
In short, drugs are a scapegoat for realities created by short-sighted greed. For decades our society endured one crackdown after another, always creating the illusion that authorities were good guys doing something noble when in fact they were compounding problems heaped upon the least fortunate of our citizens. Success with decriminalization in Portugal reflects the reality that not making economic problems even more severe by (sometimes literally) beating up on desperate people is a step in the right direction.
That's not to imply that chemical addiction is entirely a fantasy. I take more than one medication that has severe withdrawal symptoms when a large dose is quit abruptly. Much of the legend of opiate withdrawal, even some measure of organ damage, can be attributed to a life of managed stress giving way to a live of unrelenting suffering. However, some underlying reality of damage done by the abrupt shift from lots of opiates in the system to no opiates is likely a real thing. Even so, the archetype (and reality) of the frantic junkie lashing out in desperation for his next fix is more a function of the need to escape a shitty economic predicament than the phenomenon of chemical addiction.
Interesting series of experiments on the subject. It was done on rats tested the hypothesis that addiction is, to some extent, a product of environment.
The issue with them is that the majority of them are just fantastic. When you learn how much you can handle of a certain drug at any given time, then you can keep using them all day to maintain a decent buzz and be in a constant good mood. Then you find yourself smoking all day, drinking all day, snorting coke or blues (w/e your preference). If you can keep your composure with a drug in your system, then you can easily convince yourself to do stupid shit like show up to work on them or drive
Read a study somewhere that said the "relapse rate" (% of users that go on to be addicts) is something like 25% for Heroin and Tobacco. That's a lot lower than culture would have you believe.
Well how about we don't ban alcohol and instead make other drugs regulated like alcohol!
xdert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most "soft" drugs (like pot, lsd, mdma) aren't really addicting in the physical sense and even things like heroin are way less addicting than the media makes you think. It's not like you take one shot and suddenly start sucking cocks for another one.
For the soft drugs, it's more about the person than the substance, some people are addicted to the internet, computer games or gambling while other enjoy it just fine. Just because your neighbor lost everything because he was addicted to gambling doesn't mean we have to make gambling illegal. The same goes for drugs in my opinion.
One of the big problems that comes with harder drugs is the social stigma that comes with them. See, everyone drinks beer, but everybody makes sure they're no alcoholic. They don't drink too often, only drink at noon, and so on. With harder drugs often times your social surroundings change, and all of a sudden it's completely normal to be high as a kite from when you get eventually up to when you'll fall down unconscious wherever you are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most drugs aren't instantly addictive. It is possible to use drugs once a month. For example, have a great time, and not develop am addiction. Even cocaine is something I see people use very occasionally when they want a wild night and not develop a habit.
You're very representative of most people. Which highlights the importance of education vs. "drugs are bad, mkay."
Using the DARE program as an example: It was a notable failure, as it was essentially an abstinence program, ie. "Just say no". The problem was that it treated all drugs the same, so when kids tried smoking or pot with positive experiences, they thought they were lied to and then proceeded to try harder stuff and got seriously addicted.
There are worlds of differences in how drugs affect your body in how they are taken and in what quantities. The classic example is crack-cocaine vs. powdered cocaine as crack has a much stronger and addictive effect vs powdered, which is reflected in its image in the media (desperate street junkies doing various immoral things for crack, while wall street traders doing a line of coke at work).
The other replies to your comments show that the blanket definition of "drugs" is varied.
This is just from my own observations, but drugs don't seem to be nearly as addictive as I was taught in school.
Out of maybe fifteen people that I know use drugs, there's one person with excessive consumption. That one person had an absent father, alcoholic mother who neglected her, dropped out of high school and has been raped. After all this fun stuff, a bit more amphetamine and alcohol than is healthy helps her like her life a bit more.
All the other users I know are well adapted people, and they use cannabis, mdma, cocaine, acid, and some other stuff. There's no trouble keeping consumption at a reasonable level. If for whatever reason they couldn't do any drugs for six months, no biggie.
Meanwhile, convincing any other friend to give up alcohol for even two months would require a significant monetary incentive.
Br0ski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only hear about the failed users, not the ones who have their shit together
Of course then you get to ask someone why they are illegal because they are addictive yet tobacco is legal, just as addictive and cancerous and watch them squirm.
Most honest answer, drugs are illegal because of puritanical morally self righteous people and the pro drug people do not have enough money to donate to politicians to overcome that, but the tobacco industry does. That and the fact that the pharmaceutical companies spent money also to keep anything they can't charge for illegal.
arefx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it comes down to the drug. I live me some psychadelics and weed, but I'm not going to trip every day, week, or even month. Psychadelics for example aren't something people tend to get addicted to, and are relatively harmless to your body health wise, yet there's drugs like meth that destroy your body and are extremely physically addicting.
The majority of users for all drugs, even the ones generally thought of as "hard" (a completely arbitrary and non-scientific descriptor) are not addicts. It is relatively easy for most people to use most drugs responsibly if they desire to. Unfortunately, due to certain drugs being illegal, the responsible users have to hide their use and the general public only sees the worst case scenarios.
HODOR00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well when you say drugs, realize that spans a very broad spectrum.
Id say most redditors are ok with Weed. But that doesnt mean we all are shooting up heroine.
graebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs that exists, and it is a huge problem, but only a small portion of people who drink are alcoholics. Same with drugs. You don't hear about all the people who take drugs without issues, you only hear about the few where things go wrong.
This guy has an interesting take on it with lab mice to support his argument. I'm just some idiot on the internet so some doctor is gonna have to expound one way or the other.
The gist is, addiction is a byproduct of the boredom that comes with poverty.
The poor resort to drugs as the one mental escape they can afford while the affluent use it to augment their already active lifestyles and look at as more of a booster shot than the main activity.
Lab mice with no play toys in the cage used the cocaine drip until they died. Lab mice with plenty of toys and activities in the cage still used it, but not all the time and not to death.
There's far more nuance and citing to his argument than that, but that's kind of the lay mans summary.
If you let them get out of hand they become a problem. That being said, most drug habits can be kept in check and different people get addicted easier/faster than others.
I've known people who have been cocaine users but have kept it in check and haven't become 'addicted' to it. They used it occasionally and never felt the need for it.
Other drugs like weed, mushrooms, lsd and even MDMA aren't chemically addictive and are great and safe for people if they know what they're doing. I smoke a lot of weed, basically every day, but I wouldn't say I'm addicted. I enjoy it and do it because I enjoy it. If I run out, I may have to wait a few days to a week to get more but it really doesn't bother me.
In all honesty most negative stigma revolving around softer drugs (weed, mushrooms, lsd to an extent) comes from the social aspect and the fact that all drugs are considered bad because there are some pretty bad drugs out there (heroin, meth, etc.)
If you're curious about drugs, I would take a gander over at /r/drugs or /r/trees if you're interested. Trees is the aubreddit for marijuana and drugs is drugs. /r/trees is probably one of the nicest, most tolerating communities I've seen on reddit! Not too sure about /r/drugs as I'm not there too often.
A lot of drugs aren't that addictive. Not being sober is very addictive though, which really just goes back to how people need to work on themselves or being doing something more with their lives. If you spend 9 hours a day getting drunk, so the minute you get off work till you pass out, you have a problem. If you spend 15 minutes getting high and then clean your house, cook dinner, go take your grandma to the store, and get ready for the next day, society has a problem.
Look into the studies done by Dr.Carl Hart. 80-90% of people who use drugs like meth or crack dont get addicted. addiction is alot more dependent on social circumstance than it is the drug itself. thats not to say some drugs arent more addicting than others, they are, but the people who are likely to get addicted are people who dont have much to care about, like the homeless or troubled teens, as apposed to people who have alot of things going for them, like a wife, kids or a good job, who have things they put in front of and value more than the drug. and even self described addicts will take cash (which they cant spend for a certain period of time, meaning they arent just accepting the cash so they can go get more drugs) over a certain sized dose of their drug of choice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly most recreational drugs aren't addicting at all other than paychological addiction, which if that's an issue for you than it's most likely not an issue related to drugs at all.
Just wanted to point out that alcohol and tobacco are also (very strong and unhealthy) drugs, so you could make an argument why these 2 serious drugs are legal while other serious drugs (like heroin and coke - which are even worse) or not so serious drugs (like weed, kat, ecxtasy, lsd, shrooms etc) are illegal. It has a solely historical background, so there is no good reason to not change it other than peoples bias towards alcohol and cigarets
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are many fun drugs that aren't addicting, but they do wear you out a bit, and you can tell that you shouldn't over use them.
2c-b is basically the ultimate "fun drug". It's not addictive, maaaaybe psychologically so some people, maybe.
There are no known negative side effects.
There is no hangover.
The high lasts 5 or 6 hours, or so, enough for a good time, but without losing it's welcome.
It's cheap.
This is probably why it has exploded in popularity in the last few years.
(No, it's not a bath salt or any of that. It was made by the same guys who made MDMA, and has been around for about 45 years.)
I have struggled with moderation. If I like something then I can overdue it from time to time. I have to limit myself to certain things in order to save myself from myself. For example I really only drink beer, because I love the taste of it and it's incredibly hard for me to get completely shittaced by it. Give me a bottle of liquor and I will drink half of it before I realize and next thing you know I'm hammered.
I like to smoke weed, but I have to limit the quantities I buy. It's the same thing with chips. I won't stop eating until the bag is done, so I just buy the .99-1.50 bag instead of the family size. That way when it's done it's done.
I guess you could say I have a addictive personality and because of that I would never even try harder drugs. Some people are able to do that shit and use it in moderation but I know I am not one of those people.
I don't have the receipts for this right now, so you're just gonna have to take my word for it, but I remember from taking Soc in university that studies have shown that more public and legal acceptance of recreational drugs leads to an overall decline in usage.
If there were no legal ramifications to doing drugs and you could do them everywhere/anywhere, then people who had substance abuse issues would be much more easily identified and it would lose the mystique. That's why lots of Dutch and Portugese people don't smoke weed, because if you can smoke weed anywhere/anytime, then they start to take on the appearance of slackers; they appear lazy and uncool. There's no badass factor associated with it at all - it's just normalized. It's kind of like how Americans perceive smoking cigarettes. People see someone smoking weed and are like, ooooh, you're one of THOSE people?
Also if you're able to freely do drugs as much as you want and they're legally available, it's also a lot easier to be pushed into drug treatment programs.
Take Heroin for example. If you had to go and buy your heroin from the drug store, then the computer keeps records of how much smack you're buying. Eventually they're gonna say,
"if you want to buy some, you have to sit and speak with a counselor and a physician about the amount you're consuming."
And if they still wanna ignore the advice of professionals and refuse rehabilitation then who cares? it shouldn't bother anyone if someone else gets addicted to a substance and refuses help. They shouldn't be punished for that.
Yes they can be addicting psychologically or chemically like many things, but people without first hand experience have no benchmark against standard propaganda. They often see the possibility of addiction as significantly higher and more dangerous than it is in reality, due to a skewed and under-educated societal perception of various substances.
eeeeeh, most of them arent really that addicting. You just need some self control. It's kinda like when there's a whole trey of brownies sitting around. Anyone could end up eating a few too many, but that doesnt mean people cant enjoy a couple from time to time.
Some people have issues with not knowing when to stop drinking alcohol. Others don't.
Replace "alcohol" by drugs, playing video games, cleaning, eating unhealthy, sleeping, watching tv, speeding, fucking, ...
Anything needs to be done in moderation. It's your personal responsibility to keep yourself in check. Not anyone else's.
Yes, it's more difficult for things that have a physical addiction attached to them. But I've seen a friend who has had to deal with plenty of drug related addictions get clean, and then get addicted to runner's high, to a point where he kept wanting to go running when his leg was already hurt from running too much. Or pour himself over his job until he completely burned out.
For some people, it's not the physical addiction that gets them.
Addiction is related much more with environment than the actual drug. Even the "addictive" drugs like meth and cocaine can be used recreationally with no long-term consequences. I've known people who use both recreationally and don't have any problems functioning otherwise. They can also stop using anytime they want and go through long periods of non-use with no issue.
Where most people go wrong is that addicts are normally self-medicating to get away from a life that sucks. They have other issues of which addiction is a symptom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but contrary to what they tell you, it takes a while to get addicted. So every time before that you're making a conscious choice.
Addiction has actually very little to do with the drug itself, and is more linked to your financial/emotional state in which you can take drugs and not feel the need to continue taking them because you are already fulfilled psychologically.
Very true. I'd lose my job if I were to be drug tested for some reason. Have worked hard to get here, wouldn't want to blow it just because I disagree with society. Which I do, just not enough to risk my career. Career > drugs.
Thank you. Heroin is nothing to joke about. I have been clean for months but I still consider myself an addict. It is the one drug I believe that no one should ever try. I snorted the stuff once a day for a week and the next thing I know i am banging it. The high feels so good that it is extremely difficult not to do it again. I know many people who have ruined there lives over this drug. Please don't joke about it. People who are not hooked literally have no idea just how powerful of a hold this drug has over peoples actions and mind. Completely changes a person real fast.
Am I correct in understanding that the drug used to treat heroine addiction, methodone, is even MORE addictive? Then there is that crocodile stuff that just... kills your flesh. You just start rotting, but the people just can't stop themselves. It's heart breaking.
Krokodil, it;s used in Russia. The drug itself isn't much different from any other opioid but it's produced in shitty run down "labs" by impoverished dopeheads, and usually ends up having all kinds of impurities that fuck up your body.
I do not have much personal experience with methadone but from what I do know about it, yes it can be more addicting and withdrawing from methadone is worse than heroin, even life threatening. I took suboxone to help me quit. When I stopped the suboxone I did go through mild withdraw symptoms but I was not shitting and throwing up all over myself.
Edit: didn't see your thingy about the crocodile stuff. I have heard of it but never knew anyone who tried it nor have I ever been around it
There's a little bit of a difference between heroin and some weed or acid bruh
Trochna ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:59:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit overlooks a lot of the consequences for drugs. I was in a clinic for a month because of depression and there were a lot of young people who had problems because of their drug use. Sure, if you can actually only use it carefully it can be fun, even though this can also already a problem but for most people it becomes a regular thing.
The reddit user-base is mostly young progressive north american people, plus we're right in the middle of the drug legalization movement, slowly realizing most of them are actually safe and/or beneficial if used properly. It's a really big injustice that people are thrown in jail for possession still, so a lot of people tend to be outspoken about their support, which gives the site this "drug-friendly" attitude you saw.
If used properly was the important part. Opiates are awesome if you accidentally cut off a finger and need to take the pain away, it's another story when you shoot up heroin every day. A mushroom trip once or twice a year to give yourself a mental re-set and a new outlook on things is very good, but taking acid every other day might make you incompatible with the regular world.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:34:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
We sure do, but you seemed to phrase it like being addicted to them was a bad thing.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah, the typical american diet has developed a tolerance threshold for them and consumes far more than we ever should. If they were to ever cold turkey revert back to what our diets should be, they would have serious health problems.
I'm pretty sure that we would be fine. The body does not develop a dependence on excess sodium or fat as far as I know, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't for sugar either.
This is 100% not true. I've stopped eating as much salt and cut out 90% of fat from my diet and I'm fine. There are no tolerance thresholds. There are no health problems aside from the one I'm fixing. And it wasn't gradual, it was just a one day sudden change.
It's about willpower. The other side of the spectrum is just too lazy to do anything to change it. Unmotivated because they don't see the developing problems behind not changing your diet from McDonald's burritos and hash browns to egg whites and oatmeal. I'll be honest sometimes I do think "Damn, I kinda want something salty," but I deal with that urge and don't act on it.
Semirgy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the middle? If anything, we're at the very beginning. Weed is still a schedule 1 CSA drug and is legal (with restrictions) in what, three states?
There's a long lonnnnng way to go before we hit the proverbial middle of drug legalization.
It's accelerating though, I don't think we'll be another decade or two before most drugs are decriminalized or legalized
Semirgy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe (and this is a huge maybe) you'll see progress toward medical uses for LSD and what not, but we're a long lonnnnng ways away from being able to pick up heroin at 7-11. Never say never, but that's flat out not happening in the next 10-20 years.
Weed I could see being downgraded to a schedule 2 at some point in the near future but even that's going to take time.
see I don't get why people think drugs are dangerous. sometimes I just wanna eat some shrooms and watch my walls vibrate, I'm not harming myself or others
It probably has a lot to do with the fact that we still use this word, "drugs", to define everything from coffee to DMT, and the fact that the word drug is almost always coupled with the word "abuse" or "addiction". Most people who have this "drugs are dangerous" stance are not even thinking about drugs, they're just propagating this meme out of habit. If you take some time to deconstruct the subject and explain the differences, a lot of people will actually agree with you.
BamesF ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:52:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on now, to say drugs are absolutely harmless is going way too far the opposite direction. There are negative effects from a lot of them if taken incorrectly or too often, and being in the state they create doesn't exactly make you smarter in the moment.
And sometimes people don't want to be smarter in the moment, shouldn't that be their choice? Also, there are negative effects when you take many legally obtained substances incorrectly or too often ie. fast food, alcohol, tobacco, prescribed opioids, etc... If you consume a spoonful of nicotine or caffeine, you will die. On the contrary, there is no conceivable dose of THC or LSD that will lead to anything other than a bad day and/or a 16 hour nap.
BamesF ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:54:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, no one is arguing that it shouldn't be someone's choice or that it's more harmful than a lot of legal stuff. He says he doesn't know why people think it's dangerous though, and all I'm saying is that there are clear reasons why people do.
It's so crazy to think that we're in such a revolutionary time in history. The internet connecting the entire world in only an instant, religion at nearly an all time low, drugs becoming more and more accepted, gay people becoming more "normal" in the eyes of the public. It's so cool and surreal being alive in this pinnacle moment of human history.
413612 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention reddit is mostly white men in their 20s-30s and are thus less likely to face harsh(er) legal consequences compared to other minorities.
Because so much of what we are taught about how terrible/addictive/insane drugs are simply isn't true. The drug trade, the war on drugs and drug cartels are terrible. Experimenting or regularly taking illegal substances in moderation and enjoying oneself in a responsible manner while doing so is not.
Although I definitely enjoy MDMA in moderation, I have a friend who tried it with me (safe environment, I used a test kit to confirm it was MDMA, I scaled out a safe amount) and got extremely anxious.
As with anything, some drugs just aren't for everyone. Alcohol and weed included.
I found the older I get when I occasionally use drugs I get much more anxious than when I was younger and experimenting with drugs more frequently. I guess it is for the best though kind of gives me a reason to keep it in moderation.
Plus, the drug cartels and the dangers of the current drug trade only exist because of the war on drugs. Economists have been pointing this out for decades but no one cared; it's only now that redditors are part of a young generation with others who have been thrown in jail for possession or known people who have been hurt by drug dealers that they're starting to become so outspoken.
Experimenting or regularly taking illegal substances in moderation and enjoying oneself in a responsible manner
The problem with that is that illegal drugs are typically illegal because they're addictive, and therefore you're probably not going to be responsible with them. It's possible, but if you've ever seen any story of a drug addict, you'll see they usually start off kind hearted, become pretty cool after starting, then become thieves and assholes, etc.
Ubley ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:39:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's not entirely true, a lot of drugs that are illegal AREN'T addictive eg, LSD, Marijuana, Mushrooms, MDMA and some others aren't really addictive chemically. In addition to this, addiction itself is massively mistreated in the world with putting addicts in prison as opposed to helping them via health services.
Also there's a newer theory of addiction which offers more reasoning as to why addiction should be a health issue.
Same problem with legal and prescribed medication. If you look into the history of why many narcotics and illegal substances were made illegal by the FDA you'll find a sordid history that often has little to do with addiction and more to do with the CIA, big government and corporate greed.
Reddit consists of mainly liberal young people, and its mainly liberal young people who do drugs. Reddit doesn't like the drugs it sees as harmful, like crack heroin and meth, probably in part because it is a different demographic that does those drugs.
My wife definitely doesn't believe me about how many people smoke weed every day and you wouldn't know. She thinks everyone who smokes is a dingy stoner. It's not the majority of people but it's more than a couple.
Where I live in the U.S. it is seen as weird if you don't smoke weed. People have grilled me and my girlfriend as to why we don't smoke quite a few times (we used to but quit a few years ago.) The culture here is pretty permeated with weed.
I obviously wouldn't know thats why i said Reddit made me think everyone smoked, not that i somehow knew everyone smoked everyday based on the sample size of people ive encountered on reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meth used to have a lot more hate but I see a lot more people being comfortable with it.
This may answer your question. Reddit is anonymous, and on the Internet so it's easy to voice opinions that would usually be shut down in a huge group of people. For example, atheism is a default sub on reddit and is a great place for atheists to come in mass to anonymously talk about things that could potentially be off putting for them to say at the dinner table. Same goes for most of the unconventional reddit montras, i.e. fat people hate, anti feminism, etc.
GoSaMa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Atheism hasn't been a default for a long time, i'm pretty sure.
Sure, but reddit acts like they're basically vitamins. People speaking ill of drugs are often downvoted heavily. Drugs can pretty easily ruin your life.
People also really vary in how often people take things. Daily use of anything other than low-dose stimulants is, to me, unreasonable yet I could be considered a somewhat heavy polydrug user if I just gave a list of what I occasionally take. Admittedly, I've got a decently sized "oh-hell-no" list (meth, coke, opiates, PCP, DOx, NBOMe for starters). Anybody that I'd consider a competent drug user is living a full life independently of drugs and is too damn busy to partake all that often. I also really don't think people should partake of much prior to 25, but...
Why don't you want to do coke if you don't mind me asking? I find it to be way overrated for how much it costs, but it is good for staying awake while drinking at a party.
So far as I can tell, its a more cardiotoxic, less alcohol-compatible, more expensive, more addictive shittier amphetamine with a worse comedown. I will give that it probably is a more euphoric experience, but not enough to balance out.
Something where the price-demand relationship is reversed: as the price goes up, so does demand. Often to do with perceived quality being affected by price, and common in luxury goods.
So can hamburgers and ice cream. Do you want the government telling you how much of them you're allowed to eat? There are two problems with drug prohibition:
You can't tell me I'm not allowed to have something because someone else couldn't handle it. That's not how a free country works.
The government is here to serve the people, not enslave them. Telling me I'm not allowed to have something because it might be bad for me is oppression. It's the nanny-state; the government treating people like children.
So, any time you see someone parroting anti-drug propaganda (which is really just showing a tiny percentage of drug users), people who are more educated about drugs are likely to downvote.
Yeah, this is pretty much what I'm talking about. Any time someone says anything negative about drugs (no matter how completely benign), someone chimes in with some pretty aggressive pro-drug talk. You not having easy access to your meth is not being enslaved by the government. Take some more drugs please and chill out.
I don't do drugs, and you insinuating that I do meth is the core of the problem. Your ignorance enables the shithead tyrants who thinks they can save the world by telling everyone how to live. You're far more of a problem to society than any drug user.
I know people who have done heroin and meth. I've known them for two decades. They're perfectly normal people who did drugs for a while and then grew up. No one I know has ever been to jail or overdosed, but stories like that don't make it to the news.
Is your attitude based on personal experience, or on popular propaganda?
And don't even get me started on how drug prohibition has completely failed to stop people from getting drugs.
Bullshit, you always have a choice. I'm all for the legalization of all drugs and ending this inane drug war, but I'm not stupid enough to blame an inanimate object on the happiness and well-being a conscious person. They made the choice to use and abuse a dangerous chemical over and over again, and they have to live with the consequences.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction of drugs, in my experience, comes from being able to justify its use. The less they have to make a case against it, the more they're willing to try and advocate it.
Any usage of drugs is still considered abuse, but because people can't see the future repercussions at the present, it becomes easy to justify as just "having a good time."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because drugs cute cancer and Alzheimer's and depression and are just the best.
DAE smoke weed every day?
[400000] ayy lnao
better question: why aren't you? I'm being accusatory, either. I'm curious. I figure that as long as they are doing it safely and responsibly, I see no difference between railing a line of coke and having 6 beers in a night.
ZEAL92 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's incredibly rare that someone uses any illegal substance is is strongly addicting "Safely and responsibly" for long. It's a no true scottsman fallacy, once a person starts using it irresponsibly and unsafely, you don't count them as part of your grouping of drug users.
Drugs aren't nearly as addicting as they are portrayed if you're a well adjusted person. And even if you do get addicted it should be a medical issue rather than a criminal one.
ZEAL92 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you implying that most people are well adjusted? And what does "well adjusted" mean anyway?
Im just saying that if a regular guy tries cocaine or oxy or something he's not going to get addicted right off the bat unless he has undealt with personal issues. Also some drugs are almost impossible to get addicted too.
ZEAL92 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Source for that last bit? You can become dependent on almost anything, which is a form of addiction.
I've literally never seen anyone who advocates for the de-criminalization of all drugs require a mandatory psychological screening (to see if they are stable or 'well adjusted') before the person would have access to as much drugs as they want.
Heroin, pretty much the most addictive drug, has a addiction rate of around 23%. Granted thats kinda high but keep in mind this is of the people that have gotten to a point in their life where they're trying heroin, probably having done many similar drugs prior. Its obviously not the "try it once and you're hooked for life every-time" thing people make it out to be. In the end its a matter of personal freedom, I can buy a gun and drive a car i should be able to choose what to put in my body.
ZEAL92 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is that rate being calculated? I'll admit that i've bought the koolaid as it relates to drug education in general, but I suspect that there isn't a lot of rigorous testing on how much heroin you can do until you're addicted. There are a lot of variable to account for in a situation like that, and i'd be interested to see their methodology, even if the studies was old or invalid for some other reason.
You don't have the right to drive, and your right to buy a gun is restricted in many places. I'd be amenable to a nuanced control of the currently illegal substances, given sufficient information to prove that they are not a public safety hazard (which is one of the facets of the reason why they are not legal now, among many) but I'm not sure if that could be applied to the rest of the US population.
Because it's incredibly rare that someone uses any illegal substance is is strongly addicting "Safely and responsibly" for long.
is that true though?
ZEAL92 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 16:55:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my anecdotal experience, I haven't seen any studies that prove that there's a pattern of behavior that allows for responsible use of addictive substances, and a lot of studies that prove the opposite. Addiction is a compulsive behavior, and is chemically caused by most illegal substances.
You'd want to look at Portugal to find any studies, if they do exist.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my anecdotal experience, I haven't seen any studies
lol dude what does this phrase even mean
But real life though, if you think Caffeine, Alcohol, and Ciggarettes can be legal, it is downright hypocritical to have reservations about anything else. At risk of sounding a little loony, you have been fed misinformation almost your entire life about what type of people do drugs and how it ruins their life. Truthfully, most drugs are like alcohol: most people can experiment and enjoy them responsibly, but you are constantly having the bad eggs shoved down your face as an example of what you shouldn't be doing.
Take a moment and ask yourself: how does one "drink responsibly" and what is unique about that that couldn't be applied to another substance ingested in a similar manner? I understand things like heroin can be instantly addictive and therefore bad, but things like weed, minor hallucinogenics, and general "uppers" don't have much scientific evidence to support our culture's antagonism toward their "life-ruining" properties.
ZEAL92 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol and tobacco are responsible for a significant number of deaths worldwide. If it were up to me they would all be banned, but I admit my position is a tyrannical one.
That sentence was because I edited quickly without checking the edit for context. In my anecdotal experience, I've never seen any positive relationship between the currently illegal drugs and the quality of someone's life (meaning their life has been improved because they did them). I've never seen any studies to that affect either.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you say about the deaths is true, but the government doesn't/shouldn't have a right to outlaw substances that may be harmful to oneself. Any rational adult should be allowed to consume any substance, (ie I should be legally allowed to poison myself), otherwise it's overstepping of the law. The law exists to fill in the gaps where people act on and affect others.
ZEAL92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never heard someone express substantive pleasure at having done an illegal drug? Never heard anyone say, "this illegal marijuana treats my ____ illness or condition better than my legal prescription drug, I wish I could procure it as easily as booze or cigarettes"? Or heard someone praise the mind expanding potentials of a good acid or mushroom trip?
I find that hard to believe.
ZEAL92 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't really matter what you believe. I don't know anyone that does medical marijuana (considering its illegal in the two states i've lived in, that's not surprising) and everyone I know who has ever done pot has done so for fun. And in general, I don't want to associate with those kind of people, and they know my anti-drug stance, so they wouldn't tell me and don't stick around.
Just because someone feels an act has positive attributes doesn't mean the experience will be a net positive. The risks associated with illegal drugs, such as the fact that if you get caught they can destroy your life, the health risks, social stigma faced by drug users, increased risk of violence, outweigh the positives from having your 'mind expanded' or relieving the symptoms of a condition from a rational perspective. Any idiot can fool themselves, especially if they're addling their brain with mind altering substances.
Let me rephrase: you're lying. You seem to have a pretty solid grasp of the English language, and you're on the internet, thus it's assumed you can read, and therefore are aware of the many studies on the effectiveness of medical marijuana. If you're isolating yourself from people who engage in "risky" behavior, and your threshold for that riskiness is smoking weed (or it would seem from some other comments, drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes), I would imagine you don't know many people. Try to have a more open mind, and I'm sure people won't avoid you so much.
Sorry to be a preachy internet dick, but you're drawing your boundaries a little close dude, and I'm not sure your anecdotal experience counts for much.
what would be the benefit of making alcohol illegal? it's already been tried, and the results were not very good
ZEAL92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it worked, it would save a lot of lives, a lot of suffering, and a lot of money.
In reality, there isn't any (in general). Enforcement isn't feasible for alcohol, any more than for any other substance that can kill you people feel like they have the right to have. Laws aren't usually made to attain a benefit, they're made as a response to popular opinion/outcry.
Treating drug abusers like criminals just pushes them to stay in the criminal element sides of society. If there were legal ways to obtain drugs someone could become an addict without resorting to hanging out with criminals, and being influenced by them. If drugs were decriminalized than going to get help to detox would be easier too. You wouldn't be fearful of being arrested for going for help.
Yes cocaine abuse is bad, beer abuse is also bad. A little bit of beer isn't good for you, but it's not going to hurt you. Same with a little bit of cocaine.
cohrt ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why aren't you?
because its illegal and extremely easy to get caught doing?
TruGabu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:53:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they should be. I'm not into any sort of mental alterations at this point in my life. I do have an open mind for the likeness.
No, I'm not suggesting that an avid meth user should be handed meth on a silver platter. I'm suggesting that society should be open to the idea of recreational exploration.
Alcohol is deadly, yet legal. Weed in fact has never killed anyone directly, yet illegal(mostly). Given the proper setting, most drugs would not harm anyone in moderation. As a society and culture though, we are not allowed to explore options(Think commericially managed outting with friends e.g. ayahuasca). Cleaner/safer versions of drugs are hard to develop because there is no legal backing.
Demographic. I imagine most redditors are in their twenties, myself included. I feel like that's when most people's drug use/experimentation peaks. And we're growing up in the age where pot is becoming legal.
Personally for me I feel that if you are a responsible human being you can do certain drugs without affecting your life in a major way. Not to mention with legalization you get better quality/fewer drugs that are cut with crazy shit like draino. If I were to buy some MDMA I'd rather get it from a reputable source than a sketchy gang banging drug dealer. And who wouldn't want to have a much less crowded prison system and more revenue generated by taxes? Colorado has already done great things with the revenue produced from the legal weed alone.
Because most people would be upset with the idea of the government throwing people in prison and stopping them from eating a food or drinking a drink they want to drink in the privacy of their own home.
For some reason people think of drugs differently. They really aren't.
You live in this country for security, infrastructure, etc... But what gives them the right to regulate what you do in the privacy of your own home up to throwing you in prison if you
Do it?
Because Reddit are real people where you get a wide span of drug users and most of them seem to understand that if your responsible with your drug use most (not crack, heroin, meth, krokidil, etc.) can actually enhance your life. Of course there's the addicts as well that give drugs a bad name, but most people on reddit see that a line or few of Molly through out the night every once in a while isn't going to kill you.
Listen, I can take drugs like a champ. But many other people cant. I still think that anybody can take drugs like s champ even tho most people have it turn into a problem. Also I probably do have a problem but I think I'm too much of a champ at taking drugs to realize it.
kanst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me personally I don't care what anyone does in the privacy of their home. If you wanna cross dress, free base and have an orgy, as long as everyone is consenting and you don't make too much noise, why should I care.
Because most of reddit uses, has used, or knows someone who uses drugs in moderation. I personally know people who use all types of drugs, and the part that is sad is that the pot heads are by far the worst. So many of them dive head first into weed because "it's not addictive" without ever realizing the effects it is having on them and their lives. I don't care what substance you use. But if you need it every 15 minutes and will do anything for it, you may have a problem.
Bobtbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well in order to begin answering your question, we have to break down the term "drugs". Psychoactive substances fall into different classifications (such as narcotic, hallucinogenic, benzodiazepine, etc) which means they each react with your brain in very different ways. Therefore the term "drugs" is not a constructive way of describing their individual qualities since it's a blanket term for them to be collectively demonized under without examining their individual merits.
If you want to debate the pros of cons of narcotics, have that discussion. If you want to debate the legality of tryptamine's, have that discussion. However, it's not beneficial to demonize or champion them with the word "drugs"
radome9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because drugs are fun. There's a reason they are popular.
I think because alcohol is legal, a drug proven to be more addictive than a lot of other drugs that are currently illegal (in the U.S. at least).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A) Because a lot of anti-drug propaganda is nothing more than propaganda. There are many legitimate reasons not to partake in recreational drug use but they are rarely the ones espoused in the debate.
B) Because reddit and drug use are both hobbies of a larger subgroup: slackers.
KIRW7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I'm all about self-agency and autonomy. If someone wants to smoke crack, shoot up heroin I couldn't give a shit.
I think it is because drugs really aren't as bad as DARE would have you believe, and there are drug related subreddits which draw users, who end up default subs.
We're drug-friendly for the ones that aren't harmful.
We're not saying Krokodil should be legal, and every child should shoot up heroine. But if people are dying and getting their lives ruined because of weed then something is a little backwards.
You mean people? Most Drug Free types claim that while being on caffeine, fluoride, nicotine, ibuprofen, several mood-altering and life-saving chemical concoctions... maybe a cocktail after work to take the edge off...
Personally, I believe that you own your body and can do whatever you want with it. If you get high and hurt someone, then you held accountable for your actions just like if you get drunk and hurt someone or if you get angry and hurt someone.
I know Reddit doesn't fully represent the world and/or U.S. but I think it is simply most people just don't care. Most people don't like running around telling everyone what to do and how to do it.
Just an overall increase in drug knowledge. We are a community that shares not only images, but life stories. We have learned quite a bit from those who are already drug-friendly and in turn, realize that the stigma surrounding their usage is a load of arse.
People like drugs because they're fun. That's probably why.
In all seriousness, a lot of us probably experienced some bullshit anti-drug campaigns in elementary/high school and now understand that drugs aren't the boogeyman. I know I personally am pretty jaded toward America's anti-drug culture.
We need to be teaching people more nuanced ideas than "drugs are evil". Drugs are just a vehicle. If you're using drugs to escape life and be okay with doing nothing with your day, that's bad. If you're using them to have fun every now and then, thats fine.
It's no different than any other substance, such as food. You can't expect to eat shit food all the time and be healthy.
It's just good to keep an open mind. If I had to guess, I'd say a large number of redditors have had run ins with close minded individuals and had some thing they like called into question. It's a bad situation and most people try not to do that. That's just my theory anyway, and it obviously doesn't apply to everyone.
I also happen to like drugs a lot. I've only ever done a few and they weren't chemically addicting so moderation is easy. I also have ulcerative colitis. I'm not going to lie and hide behind weed's medical properties. It absolutely helps me feel better but I would still smoke if it didn't.
Because we're mostly young adults being raised in a new generation. More and more of us are seeing drugs as more of an accepted thing especially at college/university where a lot of people will first try them.
You hear scary stories about them, but some of my best nights out with friends have been on drugs (things like MDMA, not heavy shit like heroin) . People need to learn how to use them in moderation and what they're taking first though.
ookle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most drugs are bad for you, this is true, but not bad enough that we can't easily recover from or simply not need to worry about the damage they do.
Because being hardline against drugs requires reasons that are not rationally congruent with the modern understanding of what are generally considered illegal and legal drugs.
Alcohol kills far more people than heroin does, let alone marijuana. Cigs have no fucking benefit- period. And yet, we see things that are more inebriating by scientific quantification (alcohol) and more damaging/addictive (nicotine) legal than many of the illegal drugs.
Most of drug illegality stems from a political and cultural basis that is out of touch with the modern culture and no longer serves any political purpose other than to provide a "safe" position for politicians to lay blame and operate from, but the statistics on gain vs cost of drug prohibition are becoming well known, and even that last bastion is under attack.
It's not a pro-drug culture you're seeing. It's the denial of the pro-prohibition culture that already existed.
It's funny how they defends drugs on the basis that people have the right to do whatever with their own bodies, but can't apply this logic to fat people.
I don't usually partake in these conversations, but honestly, why should I care what someone else puts in their body? Barring drugs that make a person physically violent, what's wrong with them? Like, anything?
It's a good question. As one of those people who has spent a weirdly obsessive amount of time discussing this stuff online (which is a little weird considering I don't even use any illicit drugs), here's what I think:
Reddit is most populated by younger, more liberal people (the main reason for this is because the site was targeted towards such people and thus not only attracts them, but also scares away those who don't like these viewpoints). These kinds of people are more likely to support drug usage and legalization. To give an idea of how Reddit was more attractive to this crowd, /r/atheism used to be a default sub (and social conservatives tend to be religious and look down on atheists, at least in the US where Reddit started).
The anonymity makes it easier to support controversial topics. Drug legalization actually already has a lot of support in the "real world", but mostly through polls. In the real world, stigma from drugs can mean you might face harassment, lose your job, or have friends and family look down on you. Anonymity removes those issues. For the most part, the worse case scenario is you'll get your feelings hurt and some cognitive dissonance (referring to supporting controversial topics, here).
The general population has been mislead and the internet makes facts more accessible. This point doesn't refer to just reddit, but those who use the internet heavily. There's obviously a lot of overlap with redditors there. The general public has been largely mislead about the dangers of drug consumption. For example, the media often shows drug users as if they were all addicts. The reality is that many illicit drugs are less dangerous than alcohol and less addictive than nicotine, yet a sizable number of people think that most illicit drugs are illicit because they are very harmful or addictive and that it's impossible to use them safely.
Reddit has somewhat of an emphasis on factual accuracy. Have you noticed how common it is to have posts in subs like /r/news, /r/science, and /r/tech where the top post will be calling the article out on its inaccuracies? These posts are really popular (and the reason for their popularity mostly comes from the kind of people that reddit attracts). Since a lot of opposition to drug usage is based on factual inaccuracies, we not only see a lot of arguing against keeping drugs illegal, but also strong opposition to the reasoning behind keeping these drugs illegal.
A good example is with the US scheduling system. Schedule 1 is supposed to be for drugs with a high potential for abuse and no medical purposes (even cocaine isn't schedule 1 because it has medical purposes). This seems completely wrong since not only has recent studies shown the marijuana does not have a high potential for abuse (compared to alcohol and nicotine, at least), but there's been a rising number of medical uses (which is why medical marijuana is a thing). This makes a lot of people angry as it's perceived as the federal government flat out lying about the effects and uses of drugs. This also raises concerns about what else they may be lying about (see how the DARE program has been ineffective).
Reddit's system makes the popular views even more popular. The way the site works (giving attention to whatever gets a lot of votes quickly) means that popular topics get a lot more eyes. As a result, even more people can be swayed towards a particular view. This mostly works in combination with #4.
Reddit is very pro-personal freedom and many view drug usage as part of that. You'll commonly see a view that victimless crimes shouldn't be crimes. I think the underlying thought behind this is that adults should have the ability to make their own choices (as they largely already do) and that since drug usage mostly affects themselves, they should be able to use drugs.
As an aside, perhaps an equally interesting question would be: why is the "real world" so anti-drug?
They're either too young to have seen the consequences of when it's taken too far or they aren't young and have just gotten lucky and not experienced it or known anybody who has. Kind of like most people with mental illness, y'know? Or when you get thin people who don't understand you can't just "Put the fork down, fatty", because you feel like nobody loves you and it's the only happiness you have. They're the skinny people in that situation - can't conceive that their favorite drugs could possibly be bad.
Because many of us are very into the idea of advocating, if not excersizing personal freedoms which should at least cover the ability to do what we want with our mind and body.
Personally I think it's apalling that my moral peer (any person) thinks they have the right to tell me what to do with my body or mind... whether it's what I can think about, what I can eat, what drugs I can do, or who I choose to have sex with, unless it is violating someone else's rights/freedom, it's none of your damn buisiness.
Males, white people, liberals, people 18-29, and college-educated people are all more likely to be in favor of reducing drug prohibition, or at least be less worried about drugs.
I'll tell you why I am, I think I represent a good amount of reddit (white, middle-class, liberal)
Punishment for drug related offenses is way too harsh and doesn't do anything to stop the problem. People can get their whole lives ruined from having a little bit of pot. But has that done anything to stop people from smoking? No. Does heroin being illegal stop people from wanting to get it? Not really.
Freedom thing. What people do in their own home on their own times is their business. If they're out and about doped up on coke then that's a problem, but in the same way public intoxication is, and I don't see anyone clamoring to ban alcohol.
Revenue. Legalizing and taxing drugs would not only help a lot of people by making their drugs safer (ie used heroin needles), but it would generate hella $$$ in taxes. I'm pretty sure there was a headline on reddit a short while ago about how DC earned billions from weed.
Many drugs are not as bad as people claim. Pot is not as bad as cigarettes, and it's not addictive. Hallucinogens like LSD and Shrooms aren't addictive, although you will trip balls.
Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that making drugs illegal does not stop drug use, it only promotes crime, because when you make something illegal, you're basically performing the grand opening ceremony for a new black market.
It's not just illegals either. I have to keep quite about my pain med usage. I'm so an addict? Damn right I am. I physically defendant on Percocet. I take 120/month. No more, no less. Why? I have a very legit reason to and if you want to know, just ask. I don't mind explaining it. Does it affect my daily life in a detrimental way? Nope. Quite the contrary. I wouldn't be a functioning and productive member of society without them. But Christ Almighty alive you should see the reaction of some people if they see you taking meds in public or at work. So, I just keep it quite or subtly announce that I have to take my seizure meds so if someone sees me they think it's something it's not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the same reason Reddit is so pro-Bernie Sanders.
As a long time drug user when younger and at that time an advocate... age. Reddit tends to skew towards college age give or take. I thought the same thing when I was younger. I'm still tolerable. Anytime i hear a person in my life talk about moderation...it's the fool who has no idea what that word actually means.
I'm not anti-drug . Experience just makes you see the world different. We'd honestly all be better off without a lot of it.
A lot of redditors are cool with weed and acid because they're not necessarily harmful. You can't OD from them and you can't really get TOO high. Although, nowadays you don't really know what you're getting when you buy acid until you try it.
Most of Reddit is pretty liberal, so I guess that would be the main reason. Besides, drugs aren't as bad as most people make them out to be, as long as you are well informed and don't don't go completly bonkers with them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the drug. Everyone I he ever met who tried heroin or crack all said they wish they never even had the first hit.
(I met lot of drug users of all types as I worked in an urban job centre for 4 years.)
Nicotine is pretty pointless and addictive too.
But yeah lsd is relatively safe.
Mdma can be if you can be sure it's not cut with something, but very few people can actually have that certainty.
Weed is benign physically, but I've met so many stoners who just use it to escape reality and then end up with a whole world of problems and no healthy coping mechanisms.
In fact that seems to be the one common factor I see most when it comes to drugs, they so often become a person's coping/escape mechanism, that they never learn how to be emotionally mature, self disciplined, people.
So no drugs aren't bad themselves for most of them, but nearly every person I met who was a regular drug user was held back in their lives somewhat by the habit, even if it wasn't a physical addiction or substantial physical health risk.
Because I don't care what other people choose to put into their bodies if it's their idea of a good time.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:40:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:32:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
or driving a 911 turbo out in the desert of Nevada, with no one else around but your own stupidity, while on MDMA, with Tiesto blasting, and screaming like a maniac
I honestly think that many drugs in their pure forms are a wonderful thing. I just think that we generally don't have the will power to moderate our use and decide when enough of something great is enough. I know it can be done, but it's very difficult. I would imagine that most drug-related deaths can be attributed to being careless with drug interactions and dosages, as well as people introducing impurities by cutting drugs with whatever substance they feel like. Honestly, I think this may be the safest period there has ever been for casual drug use. There is a vast amount of information out there that can help guide people to having a positive and safe experience with drugs. I just really wish that people would take the time to do some research about the substance that they are considering using and the potential consequences they may face. I apologize for rambling, I'm just passionate about the subject. Really just wish we had other options besides alcohol when we need to escape for a bit, without risking jail time of course.
Me too man. There's seriously nothing better to me than coming home after a 10 hour shift on my feet all day in a hot ass kitchen and smoking a couple bowls.
Amosqu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:16:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's practically forced into our heads at school now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in middle school , in the 90s, knowing nothing about drugs, other than just "they are bad", so I believed that.
Until DARE came along. After they told me about these mysterious chemicals/pills/things that were so forbidden that these people had to preach to me like cult members how evil they were, I was SUPER interested in knowing more, or maybe even trying one.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same for me. If no one made a big deal out of them, I wouldn't be interested in learning more either, but instead we get lectured about how bad they are for a few hours in school.
The active ingredient in krokodil is actually not really that harmful, the issue is that these crazy fuckers who have no idea how chemistry works are making it out of paint thinner and gasoline
Krocadil is literally just the name for Desomorphine when it's cooked poorly by some junkie in his bathtub (Ok not that extreme but you get what I'm saying.) Pure Desomorphine is relatively safe
I think that it would be better if all drugs were legalised, and sold by specific outlets. That way, the purity of the drugs could be ensured, and they could be sold at specific doses. People would actually know what they were putting into their bodies.
You could also monitor who was taking what, and give them help if they needed it.
Drugs don't cause addiction, being dissatisfied with ones life, and being stuck in shitty situations does.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:40:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. So you would need a needle to be around needles, but what about the first needle? You'd have to use a needle to get high enough to use the first needle, but then... brain explodes
I totally agree.. Everyone has the right to do whatever the fuck he wants with his life.. Cigarettes are addictive and can kill you too.. I can't see the logic behind their separation with drugs...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MLein97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really anything that doesn't come in pill or food mode, not that I have anything against spaceship fumes, its just that Pill or food mode with controlled doses and active lengths would be so much better.
Society has become quite puritanical on the subject. I have absolutely no problem with people doing any and all the drugs they want. Some people get squirrelly with stimulants or alcohol, whereas opiate and THC users just tend to chill. As long as they aren't fucking with me, it's all good.
I know a lot of people that do it and are fine. But they sleep. They eat and they drink. It is the psychosis that takes over after 5 days without sleep that causes these problems. Not the drug itself.
Delsana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:55:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This just in, all drugs have been replaced by needles, with nothing in them. Addictions to said drugs remain. Needles cost 10 dollars per injection.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No hard drugs? Or meth and cocaine are fine as well?
I have done both. Coke much more so than meth. Didn't like staying up for days only slightly high so meth Sucks to me. Coke is OK but it has become unsafe here in the last few years so I quit that too. I don't mind most drugs but seeing how bad off my friends became with needles make them a total no go for me. Not to mention the risk of blood disease infection and vascular damage.
Only for those with a seriously biased view of drugs. You are OK with prescribed drugs I am sure. No difference, most prescription drug users are highly addicted and habituated.
I don't have a problem with pot for medicinal uses either. It's no worth the risk just for recreation and doing so shows how reckless someone is with their own body.
"For recreation". Common sense usually tells people to gauge reckless vs necessity. But drug users tend to lack common sense, as you've shown here, which is part of the reason why druggies attempting to cmv always end up reinforcing it.
The vast majority of driving probably doesn't fall under that category but I'd be willing to bet the vast majority of recreation drug use is far from a necessity. again common sense.
Calling me honey doesn't lend your argument any credence. Show me some hard facts on the dangers of drugs VS driving. Or drugs VS just about anything else we do. Very sorry but it just isn't true, drugs are not dangerous.
I don't know why you're being willfully obtuse here. The problem is that while your point might be technically right it's still a false equivalence. You're comparing something done out of necessity to survive to one being done almost purely for recreational purposes. There's no way that you're so stupid that you can't understand that, hun.
We don't drive out of necessity to live, you are obtuse. How did humanity survive before the automobile. Being right is being right sweetheart. And you are in fact wrong on all counts.
No being obtuse is pretending that most people don't drive because they have to get to work or school or other equally important places. Being obtuse is pretending society hasn't.changed or beveled to the point where automobiles are a necessity esp in some parts of the world.
Yes sweetheart we know that leaving your house period is a risk but for most people it's a necessity. Feel free to keep grasping at straws though I'll be here all night to shoot you down! :D
Pretending that drugs are more dangerous than anything else is downright stupid. I am done talking to you. You aren't shooting me down with anything. You would have to have an argument to stand on first.
If I'm not leaving the house and no one is coming over, I'll wear pyjamas all day. Mine are always clean, but if I'm gross I'll shower and put on a fresh new clean set. My mum hates it, and I don't understand why.
Talking to myself. I guess to most people it's a bit weird if they overhear it, as I talk as if I have an audience. I'm literally just vocalising my thoughts; I've done it since I was a kid. Anyway I don't just walk around nattering to myself lol, but at work, in shops etc. people can overhear me mumbling away to myself if I'm concentrating on something.
As an example, today I drove to a friend's house for the first time. The street layout was a bit odd (groups of 4 houses in little clusters off the main road) so I parked in a communal bay and walked up to the nearest cluster to see if I was at least near my friend's house number. I didn't realise that someone was behind me and I was muttering 'hmm, this might be the one... oh no, that one's number 17, I need to move the car further up as it must be the next cluster, oh well....'
I was pretty embarrassed when I realised someone was behind me. I always am when people catch me doing it, as people tend to think I'm insane. I actually do try not to do it in public/around people, but sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it (like when I'm concentrating, as I said). I scared the crap out of one of my exes when he walked upstairs and heard me reminiscing to myself about spilling Bucks Fizz at Christmas one year. 'Haha, that was funny, there was Bucks Fizz everywhere.'
My Dad has caught me talking to myself in the house so many times, and he just laughs because my Mam did the same thing.
But yeah, it upsets me a bit that people think I'm mental because of it. I know there's no-one there listening, I just talk as if someone's there because.... well idk. I just always have!
I get in trouble and embarrassed with the exact same thing. Trouble is, I berate myself openly and people think I'm talking to them. For instance, I was at Chipotle the other day and went to the fountain to get my drink. I wasn't paying attention and activated the wrong spout and said "Gah! Nice job, idiot" and got a nasty look from the person standing next to me. This sort of thing happens at least twice a week, I never learn.
I don't mind folks muttering to themselves (I do it all the time when I'm on my own) but there's a guy at work who will talk to himself, at a conversational volume when it's just the two of us in the room. I've adopted the tactic of literally ignoring everything he says unless he specifically addresses me by name.
I'm aghast at the idea of getting only one plate of food at a buffet. The first plate is the sampler plate, then you go back and get more of your favorite stuff.
Also, the meal was $11 before drinks and since most of it's quite cheap to produce and you're not paying nearly as many servers, you're saving money. At a normal restaurant, I try to avoid spending $10+ on the entree...
Breastfeeding in public. It's shunned a lot but it doesn't bother me a bit. Babies need to eat like every three hours and moms should not be forced to stay at home all day. Instead people should just grow up.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. Our culture is all "yay tits!" Until they're used for their biological function and then it's "ewww, tits!"
This might not answer this question perfectly, but its definitely something society should try and change about itself. Mental illness. If there wasn't so much of a stigma around mental illness things would get much much better. We should think of mental illness the same way we think of physical illness.
I agree with you completely on this. Mental illness is an illness of a physical piece of us (our brains), and yet it is treated completely different. I've always enjoyed this comic for explaining it in an easy-to-understand way.
Part of the stigma probably also comes from the ambiguity of diagnosis and the facts that just about anybody or anybody with the right doctor can get diagnosed with whatever disorder matches the drug they want.
This is why I was disappointed with Inside Out. It was a good movie about growing up but it could have been a great movie about mental illness. And the argument "it's a kids movie" is literally more of the reason it should be. Introducing them to it and teaching them it's ok and how to get help at a young age is an amazing way to remove stigma.
I don't think I even heard of mental illness while I was in elementary school. If I had it was in the context of insane, crazy, violent people who hear voices and talk to people who are not there. Even if I did hear about mental illness in elementary school, it wasn't portrayed as an illness.
We should think of mental illness the same way we think of physical illness.
They're two totally different beasts though. The scary thing about mental illness - the reason that it's so heavily stigmatized - is because it changes your thoughts and behaviors and can make you a potential danger to yourself and/or others. Someone with a broken leg isn't going to randomly threaten to murder someone; your blind friend isn't going to hear a loud noise and suddenly snap and think they're in a war zone; an allergy sufferer won't develop hallucinations and delusions. Mental illnesses alter who you are as a person in a way that physical illnesses just don't, making you unpredictable, oftentimes unstable, and sometimes a danger to be around.
Mental illness doesn't make people violent. That's a complete myth. People who have things like schizophrenia, psychopathy, PTSD, bipolar disorder, so on and so forth are more likely to harm themselves than they are to hurt anyone else. The levels of crime among people with these disorders is actually lower than it is of neurotypicals (people without illnesses that affect the mind). I mean, can you imagine someone with schizophrenia being allowed into a gang? No, of course not. Not to mention, there are people, groups, government agencies that often keep an eye on these people.
For many people, the words "mental illness" brings up pictures of violent, delusional, people. They don't think of OCD when they hear those words. They don't think of suicide when they hear those words. They don't picture gambling addicts, or people with eating disorders, they think of schizophrenia and psycopaths when when they hear those words. The word psycopaths has actually become synonymous with serial killer nowadays. Which it really isn't at all. That's like hearing the word "male" and thinking of rapists. That's like hearing the work "black" and thinking of gangsters. In reality, 1% of the population is a psychopath. You've probably met them before. Based on that 1%, you should expect 12 or 13 people at my highschool to be spychopaths. Psychopaths are not violent people. They just have less empathy than everyone else. What about schizophrenia? 1.1% of American adults have schizophrenia. Which means, there are more people with schizophrenia or psychopthas than there are gay people. Assuming that no one had both schizophrenia and psychopathy, in which case they would have been counted twice.
[deleted] ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 15:47:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat indoors, at the table, everywhere. Who cares? It's a hat, it's comfy, my head is goddamn cold, it looks good on me, any fucking reason really is fine. The no hat thing is stupid beyond all belief. (I mean for safety reasons I get it, but otherwise? Let them wear hats!)
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:39:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It probably came from a time when people wore hats outdoors at all times. It was a functional piece of outside clothing and wearing it at the table would have been akin to wearing your overcoat at the table. Now that hats are a voluntary thing and generally only worn for fashion reasons as opposed to utility, most people don't bother.
Also, I think there's a passage in the Bible about coming to the temple with your head uncovered, so that carried into a rule where you would remove your hat when you walked into a church.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:51:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard anyone articulate a good reason, but I feel like there's an element of physical openness and "body language" associated with wearing a hat.
When you shake someone's hand, you're taught more than just that. Eye contact, friendly, open posture, an inviting gesture, etc.
Wearing a hat, particularly with a brim over your eyebrows is sort of the opposite of that. Ever seen someone who wears mirrored sunglasses indoors? They look like douchebags, even if it's bright enough to see costly while wearing them.
If it's too cold you're damn right I'm going to wear my jacket at the table. It's better than demanding the A/C be turned up while everyone else sweats because they think it's too hot! (Not that I've ever complained it's too cold, usually I'm the opposite)
I came here for this. My in-laws are big on the "no hat at the dinner table" thing. I could be in pajamas and that would be OK, but somehow a baseball cap is disrespectful? It's fine the whole day, but as soon as you sit down to eat it's bad?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:49:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's absolutely ridiculous! Luckily we don't have to continue the traditions of our parents or relatives if we think they are outdated or silly. I for one will allow hats at the table when I'm a parent.
ATCaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I've always felt weird leaving my hat on during any national anthem.
Prayer, eh, my church was never big on little things like that. If you're in the main service? Oh hell yeah. You better take that hat off. But youth service or praying anywhere else? Not a big deal.
I guess that's just different regions bleeding through. My youth group might as well have been a party, but if you didn't bow your head and remove your hat, you would have been jumped on pretty much instantly.
Random internet guess but maybe it's more of a subconscious type of thing. If you are wearing a hat we can't really see your face, and if you are at a table eating your whole face would be hidden. And meal time is or was considered a bonding time so if we can't see you we can't really bond. But I am probably totally wrong.
Same reason anything is respectful. We as a society choose small gestures (bowing, handshakes, please and thank you) and designate them as a sign of respect. That way, in our society, we have tools to display our respect for one another and also ways to show disrespect. If you approached someone with their hand out for a shake and you decline it, it's disrespectful because we designated the handshake as a sign of respect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you were actually five your parents would just say 'because I told you so." and that would be the end of it.
I've always heard that it's a trust thing. Like a knight removing his helmet when acknowledging the king, removing your hat is exposing a vital part of your body to those you're in company with.
Where I come from, if I ever wore a hat to the table (when I was a child) I've been told that it's rude to wear a hat to a table since I'm not Jewish.. But the way it was always put was as if being Jewish was a bad thing and only bad people wear hats to eat...
Yes. My parents were indeed racist.. not terribly racist, but they weren't to keen on other ethnicities, religions, or skin colours.
But this wasnt something said by just my parents, this was said by friends families, guests, school teachers, etc.
I have no problem with burping. My thing is that a hat that has no impact on her (like a stranger on the other side of the restaurant) is a tremendous issue, but she'll be snotty right over her plate of food and burp which she also thinks is gross is ok at the table. Moms.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, very true!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wear a baseball cap pretty much all the time everywhere. It's intensely annoying when the rare person tells me to take it off indoors, like how about you stop being a nosy bitch indoors?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I shaved my head for a cancer fundraiser, I didn't realize how cold you get without hair, I've grown some back and it's summer now, but I still pull my blanket over my head for sleeping and need a hat to make sure I don't get sunburned horribly (I have super light hair and burn really easily)
Ahh makes sense now. I hope your recovery continues to go smoothly. Don't let the hat haters drag you down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, but I guess I wasn't clear enough, for cancer usually means for cancer awareness not from cancer. It was still scary shaving my head as a girl and I did it so I could try and empathize with others who have had to shave for cancer reasons, but I shaved for a local fundraiser that donates to kids with cancer and the local children's hospital in my area (that way I sort of know it's actually going to help people) my mom lost a very good friend years ago to breast cancer, and my grandma had a melanoma/skin cancer scare awhile ago so that's also why I did it. Mostly to gain some insight and empathy, I wasn't able to raise much money just by myself. I'll edit my original post, I don't deserve that kind of thanks, I didn't have to survive anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good gentlesir, make sure to protect your fedora from the harsh elements!
Maybe at the table on Thanksgiving or Sunday supper but most people I know where there hats at all times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the military they drilled it into our heads to never wear a hat while eating. In the old days of the Navy, the mess deck (dining area) of a ship used to double as an emergency triage area during battle (big flat tables for laying down bodies, it's usually close to the centerline of a ship where it's most stable, etc). Nowadays you remove your hat on the mess deck as a sign of respect for the dead.
However I'm not suggesting that as the reason behind the civilian taboo of not wearing a hat indoors or at the table. I really have no idea.
I disagree. I think it's like taking off your coat when you enter a room. Call me old fashioned but I think it's trashy when people wear hats indoors. You wouldn't wear sunglasses indoors.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you take it off for your country's national anthem?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't go to sporting events, not my cup of tea, and school would give you a write up if you were wearing a hat at all indoors, so I've never actually had the chance to be wearing a hat during a national anthem playing that I've heard. If I was watching the anthem being played on t.v. I wouldn't, I'm in my own house after all. I don't think you should necessarily have to during a national anthem - what does it matter what's on my head? The flag represents freedom, the freedom of choice so the best way to respect that freedom is (imo) to exercise it. You should have the freedom to wear a hat.
As to whether I would or not in real life? Depends on the circumstances. I would always try and fight it in school, but it's impossible to change the minds of some people and so I've learned to pick my battles. If I were with my parents I would take my hat off while rolling my eyes because it's not worth getting into a fight over it. None of my friends care except for the one who's been in cadets, but even she can't answer the question "Why is it disrespectful to wear a hat in these situations?" with a good answer and doing something 'just because' or without good reason or justification just because other people do it just seems stupid to me. If I were at a workplace function where I know a boss cares I do it, as much as I think it's stupid it's not worth losing a job over.
Wearing hats at the table and being able to wear them in school is going to be something that's going to take a long time to become okay - people really fiercely like to hold on to tradition even if it's nonsensical or no longer applicable in the modern day time. The best thing I can do to fight it is by condoning it and explaining my reasoning why I condone it and think it's a silly rule. It's just an outdated tradition that needs to finally pass on.
pcrnt8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:53:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting take. I really have no basis for why it bothers me, but it drives me nuts when people wear hats at the table. I'm sitting here trying to pinpoint the cause of this reaction, and it really is just the tradition. My mom clearly conditioned me to not be okay with hats at the table. She was really, really strict when it came to anything regarding manners, though.
You pinpointed an interesting fact though. It is seen as unacceptable to keep a hat on during the national anthem. Maybe hats indoors are just seen as rude in general, so to keep one on during the anthem appears as a serious slight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine that's why for a lot of people. Probably a generational thing too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got into an argument with a teacher at college about that. She had a rule about hats in the classroom. One day I decided to rebel, she asked me to remove it, I asked why, she said it's not polite, I disagreed. I asked what the consequences were, she said she would ask me leave, I said that wouldn't end well for her. Basically I explained to her that the college has no dress code, so she has no authority to tell me what not to wear in class. Also me wearing a hat does not prevent her from teaching me, of me from learning, and it was an IT skills class, so it's not like it was preventing her from making eye contact with me because we were facing our monitors anyway. I was a bit cocky, but it was a mandatory IT skills class where a barely qualified 60ish year old women taught us how to use word and excel, and I don't wanna sound like one of those "I built my own PC, I know html" pricks, but I was, so I was already pissed about being there. Then after being repeatedly told about how we're adults now and we don't have to ask permission to go to the bathroom or to leave early, she starts treating me like a child. It ended with her writing a letter to my personal tutor, he didn't care and ignored it, she never brought it up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've argued with teachers about it before. A few of my high school teachers even agreed with me, but it they didn't want to make waves and I understand that, wouldn't want them to get in trouble. I'm hoping university is more lenient this fall when I go.
For me I don't mind unless I cant see the persons eyes. I am big on eye contact when I am talking with people (to the point people call me intense sometimes.) I think the shadow that hats can put on peoples face makes it harder to read at times, or almost makes them look down-cast. If I can see you fine I don't care.
Edit: word
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I care. It labels you as a douchebag from afar, to be honest. Because virtually everyone respects this rule, and because it is polite to remove hat and glasses inside so people can easily see your face, you're creating unnecessary tension within others in the room.
I was playing cards against humanity at my last con and a lot of the fun was sucked out of it because one person playing kept getting offended by the cards. What did you expect to happen, lolipops and rainbows?
Honestly I would have just kept playing more and more offensive things to piss that person off. Seriously, it's the point of the game, it says so on the box. If you want to be politically correct, go buy Apples to Apples.
Not really. There are several other "offensive joke" comments that haven't warranted a hostile response. Why should mine? I just typed out the most offensive joke I know. I dot really think it's funny even. It just fit at the moment.
And that's why the guard towers have railings now. (EDIT: No, I didn't. Don't AMA.)
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is Anthony Jeselnik
"My girlfriend got a haircut. And she came home and cried for two hours. Over a haircut. And I said, 'baby, why are you crying? It's just a haircut......I'M the one who has to find a new girlfriend.'"
This guy goes to a fancy dinner being thrown by his office. A waiter comes around with some hors d'oeuvre and suggests he tries the pork. The guy tells him, "No thanks, I'm jewish." The waiter replies, "Oh that's ok - they're free!"
Most offensive jokes aren't even funny though. Not because they're offensive and shouldn't be joked about, but because they're lame and relying on shock value rather than a quality set up.
So, as I was fucking this hot babe, it was her first time, so she started bleeding a bit. She looked a little worried, so I said to her "Don't worry, that will happen once a month in around 5 years"
You probably like offensive jokes as much as you do specifically because they aren't socially acceptable. At least, that's how it is with my friends who love making offensive jokes; it's fun because they shouldn't be doing it.
Anyway, until you have experienced any of the horrible things that people like to make offensive jokes about, your opinion on what should and shouldn't be offensive doesn't matter at all. Want to defend rape jokes? Ask the people who got raped if they think it's okay. Want to make racist jokes? Ask people whose lives have been harmed by racism.
As far as dead baby jokes (and the like) go, they are only funny because they are upsetting and not socially acceptable, it's not that they are high quality humor. In fact, it's all rather cheap humor.
I sat down to play Cards Against Humanity recently with a group of acquaintances. Before we started playing, someone said, "First we need to take out all of the cards that are offensive or might trigger us." Most of the group agreed and started digging through the deck.
LET'S JUST NOT PLAY THE GAME THEN, FUCK
Milstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how many black people does it take to start a riot? -1
I think it's the type of offensive that makes all the difference.
Punching up? Go for it. Break down bullshit social norms and niceties.
Punching down? It's just lazy, boring comedy and you're profiting off things that actually hurt the people you're targeting. I'm not going to stop you, but be prepared for consequences.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:32:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard either of those idioms before. I think I get what you're saying, but could you explain in more detail what the difference is between punching up and down?
Making jokes at the expense of someone who is of a higher level of power in terms of status or privilege.
Racist jokes, rape jokes, gay jokes, are all punching down, because they are all at the expense of the groups with less power. If you flip them around, and make the dominant group the target instead, it is funny to punch up.
That makes sense, thanks. Sometimes it's a little ambiguous, though - making fun of the things people say when they discriminate is punching up, while actually saying those things as a joke is punching down, yeah? With those sorts of things it can be hard to tell what part of it's the real joke unless you know the person.
From what I understood from his post, making a joke about someone who's mentally challenged or a rape victim or someone that lost a baby that can't really defend themselves or has no control over their situation is punching down.
Whereas making a joke about black people being natural watermelon loving criminals or a holocaust/gay joke is in a way punching up because they can either defend themselves or make similar jokes about you. Also they're more likely to actually find it funny. As opposed to a rape victim or someone who has lost a baby who will most likely be upset by the joke.
...or something like that I don't really know man.
Eh... There are plenty of jokes you can make without being offensive. To me, they're just childish. Especially rape jokes, which can easily trigger someone.
You have to realise that offensiveness is socially acceptable in reddit unless it's your particular specific group.
The same people who are up in arms about taking the piss out of religious symbols, are the ones that cry trigger at the moment something relating to someone's sexuality or their weight, is mentioned.
As someone of a group that people often make jokes about (the mentally ill) you have to be a little careful because some people will take it seriously, and some people look like they're I taking it seriously when making a joke. My crazy friends and I call each other things that you would never see anyone dare say to us if they haven't experienced it from someone who is serious, and that's sort of the difference. For me, anyway, "Watch out, he's a stamp collector" is funny if you've experienced discrimination on the basis that you might "go postal" even if it isn't you being discriminated against (I'm fine with my normie friends making jokes if I know they've seen it happen for real). If you're just saying it and you have no idea what you're talking about, it's like referencing a TV show you haven't seen, except there's the added possibility that you might be serious. And, believe me, there are just as many assholes as jokers.
But, yeah, if you know what you're saying and what it is you're truly referencing, go for it. It's no different and no less funny than joking about dead babies in a blender. Sometimes fucking hilarious.
I think my comment should've been clearer earlier (I'll edit after I'm done writing this one).
I too belong to a group that is usually made fun of (I'm an Arab, coming from a Muslim background). I've seen my share of "offensive" jokes that pokes fun at the stereotype that I find myself in due to that background. If its a Joke, I don't mind it.
Obviously there is a difference between making a non "PC" joke and being a complete asshole, but if its a joke (for the sake of a laugh and not bullying) its fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all jokes are about someone's appearance or ethnic group though. For example, like /u/Offensive_Bastard said when they "tried" to be funny:
Who are the worlds fastest readers?
9/11 victims..they went through over 100 stories in just seconds.
When you have to resort to that level of comedy to try to make people laugh, it's because you're not funny and are desperately trying to make people think you are. However, I challenge anyone who thinks that's funny to go to ground zero and start telling that joke around the streets.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This 1000x. People are too goddamn sensitive sometimes. Jokes are away of talking about dark and offensive things not a way of condoning them. Sometimes its good if a joke, or a piece of media in general, makes you uncomfortable.
Yes that dress makes you look fat. Would you rather I tell you I doesn't and have everyone think it when you wear it out?
I just don't feel like hanging out with you today. No fake made up reason, I'd just rather sit at home and play fallout cause that's what I'm in the mood for. Nothing against you, but if we do hang out, I won't have a good time because I'm just not up for it.
You said something just now that really offended me. Here's why I was offended. I understand you didn't mean it but I wanted you to know so you can try to avoid doing it again.
Seriously. Why are these things not ok to say?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:43:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went with good karma and followed the NCR. I tried to meet most of the factions and protect the respectable ones, but I was really pissed when I had worked hard to gain acceptance of the brotherhood only to have to blow them up. I felt like there should have at been a way to negotiate a truce after ousting McNamara.
Hooray NCR! They have the best overall ending, even better than Independent. You can make a truce happpen if you keep McNamara around, though. What guns did you use?
P.S. Since you are an honest fellow, let me know if I get boring or inconvenient.
Haha its ok. I picked up a recharger rifle pretty quickly and used that for a long time until the enemies got too powerful and I realized Boone was doing all the killing. Then I switched to a laser RCW.
Companions were Boone and Willow.
I also kinda wanted to do kind of a merge between NCR and independent. I took out Mr house before the NCR told me to. I woulda liked to take control of the strip myself then kinda work in alliance with the NCR. Would've been fun to follow both tracks.
T_Rash ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:46:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a 40 year old man and going to see Minions by myself
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
T_Rash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was but I expected it to be better
[deleted] ยท 822 points ยท Posted at 15:03:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 15:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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MrAxlee ยท 237 points ยท Posted at 15:52:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some rules parents come up with are so stupid, but I think the reason they don't take them back due to embarrassment, or not wanting to admit their rule is stupid.
I was never allowed my girlfriend to stay in my room - she always had to spend the night in the spare room, and my mother would put out a sleeping bag on the hallway between the two rooms and spend the night there. Apparently disgust for hearing others fucking when trying to sleep was only one way.
nicholt ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:14:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't remember who it was, but one guy had a great strategy for rule making (it honestly might have been Jim Gaffigan). Basically he did it the same as any other dad and made them up on the fly. But, every sunday at dinner he would allow his children to protest against his new rules if they disagreed with them. He said usually they would lose the argument, but sometimes the kids would have very valid reasons and he would admit his mistake. Seems like a really good way to operate.
btw, this was addressed to the first part of your post only...not sure I would want to bring up all that sex stuff at the dinner table lol
Being an adult means engaging in sex with any willing partner you choose.
Being an adult living at home means you forgo any hope to make your own rules. Get a job, move out, and then do what you want. Nothing more annoying than a 20-something who demands to be treated like an adult yet can't provide for themselves.
Most people can't comprehend a roommate agreement with one's parents. I had one with my Mom for a couple years. Just the two of us, it was probably the best living situation I've ever had. We saw each other like twice a month due to conflicting schedules and split all the money/chores up. Never had any arguments over anything.
But if you tell someone you live with your parents they assume that your parents pay for everything, cook for you, do your laundry, etc.
I was raised to slowly take over those tasks for myself so I'd find it bizarre for my Mom to give me these weird rules or watch over my personal relationships as an adult. I guess other parents don't let their kids grow up, but expect them to handle it all as soon as they move out. WTF.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:15:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's the worst of both types. Forced to be responsible but get to make none of the decisions.
I know it's sadly common but I don't understand the mindset. How do you expect the kids to grow up with the ability to function independently when you don't trust them to make any decisions on their own? Controlling can be just as detrimental as coddling.
I feel like transitioning to adulthood must've been very difficult for all of you (hypothetical you). These are the same type of parents who will throw you out at 18 because you're magically an adult and responsible, but how do you start from nothing? Or they'll sigh and wonder why their kid now has a drug habit/won't leave the house/hates them/any number of things.
Can they though? I mean a lease is a lease, the same laws apply if it's your parents renting you the room or the loch ness monster. Can your landlord forbid sex in a room you are renting?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point is though that if you're charging rent for a room, it becomes a tenant landlord relationship by default, and with that comes the protection of the law, for both the tenant and the landlord.
If you are renting a room to anyone, even your kid, and they (or their friends) do some serious damage to your house, then refuse to pay for it, the law would also allow you to collect damages from them. When there's money exchanged for services, the agreement becomes a contract, even an informal one, and with that comes some legal repercussions.
I see what you're saying though, but you could probably still get in legal trouble for ending the agreement if your kid decided to have sex in the house, even after agreeing not to. You'd have to just say the room is no longer avaliable and give no explanation to be ok in the eyes of the law.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So the law changes between 2 adults when they're related? I don't follow. What other behavior can they dictate? And what law allows a landlord to disallow legal activity?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:04:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would agree if your parents let you continue living with them after you turn 18 rent free. But once they begin to charge their own child rent, the "tenant landlord" relationship is formed and with that comes some legal consequences.
I see where you're coming from though, so let's take the legal argument away. If I'm paying rent, I'm going to do whatever I please in my own space that I'm paying for or I'm going to find a place that doesn't burden me with their own preferences without regard to mine.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That not how it works, unless you draw up and sign an actual rent agreement they can kick you out for anything.
Absolutely untrue. In almost all jurisdictions in common law countries, an actual legally binding agreement is made as soon as rent is paid. If you don't have a contract, you're on a month-by-month tenancy or an at-will-tenancy. This comes with rights and responsibilities. They also wouldn't be able to just kick you out, they'd have to give you proper notice.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No arguing necessary. Kicking someone who pays rent out without giving proper notice is illegal. There's really no two ways about that. They can do it in the same way every landlord can do it, but it wouldn't be legal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Timguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? How is an adult who pays rent to their parents a dependent? Depending on how you're using the term, to be a dependent they'd either have to be medically unable to live on their own, in which case they're obviously very protected, or they'd have to be a qualifying relative, in which case they wouldn't pay rent.
It's really not complicated: If you're paying rent, you're protected from being kicked out without notice. That's basic tenant protection. It would be terrible if it weren't the case.
Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
if your parents are leasing you a piece of their home out of courtesy they have no legally binding contract
If they're leasing to you, it'd imply that there's a contract. Even if there's no written contract, there are rights and obligations you take on as soon as rent is paid. You can be on a month-by-month tenancy without a written contract. Obviously varies by jurisdiction.
However it wouldn't be legally enforceable if you broke the agreement, and you'd likely only agree to it under duress.
Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, they can't. Paying rent establishes a tenancy. Not being able to have sex in your own rented property - even if it's your childhood room - is not enforceable. The only thing your parents would be able to do is not renting to you.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:40:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents expect me to pay a fourth of the rent and utilities. Basically my room is my room. I'll respect their wishes about sex in common areas, but I'll be damned if I'm going to pay this much and not gonna sleep with my long distance fiancรฉ when he comes to visit.
If you don't like your land lord, then move out. If you are live with your parents, then respect their wishes. It is very awkward for parents when their children have sex. This is why people move out on their own when they are sexually active adults.
Don't feel entitled just because you're an adult. Just paying rent doesn't mean anything. You're still living at home with very little real life responsibility. Have some respect and bang in your car like normal people.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:08:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I respect my parents just fine. And I lived on my own for a few years. I am only living with them while I'm in school. I have to change myself because it's awkward for them when I have sex, but I can listen to them screw like rabbits and no one cares about how awkward it is for me? Also, my fiancรฉ lives a thousand miles away, so this is not a common thing. He comes to visit maybe once every three months. I am not screwing him loudly every night. I think it's a little ridiculous that if I'm paying rent in an apartment on my own then I'm free to do what I want, but if I'm paying rent to my parents I'm not. We signed a contract and have a lease agreement. At least in my mind, if it has be signed and in a contract I should be able to screw whoever I want in my private room.
ETA: I live with my parents in Florida while I finish my schooling because it cheaper than living with my fiance in Pennsylvania. I am also paying off a shit ton of credit card debt and student loans. I would prefer not to rent an apartment by myself and acrue more debt or slack on school because I have to work extra hours. We split rent four ways. We divide costs like roommates. My brother and I and my parents. We're all adults and we all have sex lives. When fiance comes to visit we don't fuck in the kitchen, the shower, on the couch, or in any designated common areas. And we do not lock ourselves in my room and hump like rabbits all day. I think that's pretty damn respectful. To imply that I'm entitled is a load of bull and I have a lot of life responsibility. I help them and they help me, and it works for us. But I should still be allowed to have sex with my fiance.
Actually, if you signed an agreement, you may be able to call them out legally as infringing upon your rights to due enjoyment of your unit. This is the key that most people here are missing. Sure it's morally questionable for the parents to have a double-standard on sex in the house if the kid's paying rent (even arguably if not), but you can't really take action besides leaving the situation or rebelling UNLESS you've signed a contract and your local (usually Rental/Tenant's board) laws/by-laws to see what your legal rights are. They're breaching the contract if you can find a subsection that supports you.
How is it awkward for their adult children to have quiet sex? The parents aren't being forced to watch. Do they just not like the idea of their child becoming an adult? Because that's more of a problem for the parents than the child.
That sounds good on paper. But you have to ask yourself if you can get your own place for what you're currently paying. (We both know the answer is no.)
Be damned all you want. You don't get to make the rules.
I don't think you know how the world generally operates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's your opinion. If the want me to pay rent like an adult, then yeah I should have some say. And I could get an apartment with a full time job. Which I would have if wasn't in school. I was planning on putting off school and getting an apartment of my own. They offered to move me in.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Ges_Who ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:45:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think the rule is "No sex for anyone in this house". Pretty sure the rule is just directed at you. Not really hypocrisy, just an unfortunate rule for you.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:14:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"See son, we know youre obviously shit in the sack. We dont want to hear you huffing and wheezing for 2 minutes and then crying for 30 minutes."
Parental rules aren't always made to be perfect or even to prevent the behaviors that they seem to be targeting. Sometimes they exist just to make your child stop and think a little. There are other reasons for parents to make rules that are hard to enforce. Legal liability is one.
My parents also had the basement rule. But it makes more sense because their bedroom is adjacent to mine and the walls are pretty thin. So they send us down there to be out of sight and out of mind.
I mean, maybe they were banking on him having the decency to not have sex on communal furniture, so that they thought that banning sex in his room meant banning sex outright?
This one I could possibly see a rationale for. Maybe his parents didn't so much care that he was having sex, but didn't want to hear them banging away from the room next door. The basement could have just been a more noise-insolated room/sex dungeon, further away from their sleeping heads.
I'm an Indian guy, and I'm not quite 21 yet but my parents would let me live with them basically as long as I wanted. I think some cultures just frown on the whole kicking out kids thing. My parents care a lot about family so they're okay with me sticking around for free. My older sister is 22 and they don't mind her staying here either. I feel guilty about mooching of their money and all though, so I'll probably move out once I can find out how to stop procrastinating.
Centias ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:13:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apart from a few years in an apartment for college, I lived with my folks until I was 25. I could have moved out earlier, but I stayed because it was cheap, we didn't really bother each other, and my parents are frankly pretty awesome. Moved out about 6 months after my now wife moved down here, but really things were still fine living with my parents. They still respected our privacy and we respected that we were living in their house. They didn't try to impose weird rules on us because we are adults and we were contributing some rent (which went up some to cover two of us, but still stayed pretty low).
For some people, it just works out. Not everyone feels suffocated living with their parents.
Slo333 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:29:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up on Long Island where people basically live with their parents until they die. It's hard to find a job at all, let alone one that pays more than minimum wage, and even when you do you can barely afford to pay more than your phone bill since rent for the shittiest and tiniest of apartments is at least $850 a month. The only people I knew living on their own had some kind of financial help from their parents or were living in an apartment that a friend of the family or family member owns and didn't have to pay rent at all or had to pay very little. It's ridiculous. I moved away a couple of years ago and don't miss it for a second.
Well, it would have against the law for them to put hidden cameras in your bedroom to spy on you, hidden cameras in the basement for security purposes, no problem.
Maybe they put them in the basement so they wouldn't have to hear it. Also if you still live with your parents all of the "I'm an adult, treat me like an adult" arguments kind of go out of the window. If you want to do whatever the hell you want, move out.
They probably couldn't hear it with him down there.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:10:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He just didnt want his son to get some girl pregnant. Everyone knows bed sex leads to pregnancy. Couch sex is safe because of vinyl or something............
Unless you have a couch in your room, where else are you supposed to sit? Are you supposed to just stand the entire time they are there?
What if you had a futon? Would that count as couch or bed?
MrAxlee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a desk chair, one of us would sit on that and the other on the bed. They started letting me and my ex girlfriend sit on the bed together after about 8 months, but still without covers or anything, hands to ourselves
My parents have always been super chill about this and it's great, especially my dad. " she's always welcome here, I can even go out if you two wanted alone time, she's always welcome to stay the night." I just feel like my parents expect it so why try and prevent it? They've always been pretty excepting.
It's their house.. They have the right to do whatever they want and tell you to do what you want. If you want to fuck whenever, then you might want to look into getting your own place?
Sirspen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated rant, but as for that last part, that's much easier said than done in the current working world. I've been stuck at Office Depot for the past year and a half making a laughable $8.65 (40c over minimum wage here after the maximum "promotion" allowed). Corporate cut our commission on warranties and tech services to 5% from 15 (for perspective, our senior tech who works full time to sell this stuff made $150 in commission for the entire last quarter). They just removed holiday pay entirely. Payroll doesn't let most of us have over 16 hours a week.
"Cheap" rent for an apartment here is $600/mo. Even if I had zero other expenses, I can't afford that.
And on the subject of that being much easier said than done in the current working world, frankly I just don't think you're trying hard enough if you can't find a better job or move out on your own.
Look Jeb Bush. Not everyone is educated and not everyone has a technical skill. Those people should still be able to afford the cost of living but with minimum wage being what it is, they can't. You say work more hours? Employees don't get to choose how many hours they work and often there is a limit so that the company doesn't have to start giving benefits like health insurance. Finding another job by trying harder is so naive it's laughable.
Finding another job by trying harder is so naive it's laughable.
For the kind of money he's making? Bullshit. I'm neither educated nor do I have a technical skill, but I can go out and find a full-time job making at least $10 an hour. There's so many resources available for job hunting out it's crazy.
He can't flip burgers? He can't wash windows? He can't do dishes? Either you're trying to move up in the world or not.
You have no idea where this person lives. If a cheap apartment is $600 a month I'm guessing its a small town in Nowhere USA. There are less jobs outside of cities. If you're used to metropolitan areas with a relative wealth of jobs you'd be surprised by the slim pickings outside of your own world view.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everybody is old enough to get their own place.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:36:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and his fiance were visiting this weekend and my mom made me clean my entire freaking room so she could sleep in there. For the love of God, she sleeps in the same bed as my brother every other night, why can't she do it here too?
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:29:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their house, their rules?
Centias ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a talk with my wife about this after reading an article someone wrote about teaching their kid about their genitals and such when they were like 5-6 (basics like 'that's a penis' and 'that's a vagina') instead of just going with cutesy names. We both agreed that it's super weird how stifling some parents can be about their kids exploring their sexuality, and that ours would be taught about sex as they grow up and the information starts to become more relevant, be able to ask us questions, and be allowed the freedom to safely explore sex in the privacy of their own room provided they take proper precautions, let us meet whoever they are dating first, and the both of them respect that they are still under our roof (and keep the noise down).
I'd rather provide a simple lock on a bedroom door and some condoms than deal with a case of 16 and pregnant.
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love it if my parents were like this about sex (don't get me wrong, they're great otherwise). Because let's face it, most teenagers are obsessed with sex. Much better to teach them that it's acceptable and to help them keep safe rather than make it taboo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think teens should have proper education, complete access to condoms and more reliable forms of birth control, not be shamed for their developing bodies/sexuality, etc. But in no way do I find teens having a sex life "acceptable." It's still not the smart thing to do.
Vanetia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know how it's gross to think of your parents having sex?
I always wondered about this, they know it's going on, right? As I get older, though, I think it's important for parents to limit adult activities for their adult child that lives with them. Some people would never leave their parents house if they could do whatever they want. I think parents use these kinds of rules to encourage their child to move out and be responsible. You will want to get a decent job so you can afford your own place and partake in all the adult fun. They are essentially telling you that you need to be a responsible adult before you can have fun as an adult.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:15:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking 16 years old or something?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:25:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are an 18 year old living at home and you don't understand why your parents don't want to hear you fucking several different women in their house?
You know how hosting you and your girlfriend/other one night stands would affect them? When you knocked one up and go to them begging for money.
Your parents don't think sex is gross. They just don't want to deal with the repercussions of you probably being irresponsible and not knowing any better.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:55:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless in a very long term relationship.
Dude you are fucking 18 years old, you don't have "very long term". Very long term to you is like 3 months.
When you get old enough to realize how stupid you are at 18, you will realize why your parents don't want to host your marathon fuck sessions at their house. Me and my girlfriend at 18 would literally have sex 3 or 4 times a day if we were alone (shit, sometimes when we weren't alone we would sneak it in somehow). Parents know this and they at least try to not be the reason that you just knocked a girl up and have her parents coming to you asking why you hosted this shit.
If they followed it themselves I would respect it more.
Then you wouldn't be alive
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:53:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If they followed it themselves I would respect it more".
It's their house, not yours. They can do with as they please. Don't like it? Move out. While I do agree with HotCarls, assuming long term as 3 months is kinda pushing it. Young people can have long term relationships, but as far as your logic goes, it's believable since you can't wrap your head around the fact that it's not your place to say your parents shouldnt be fucking in the house if you cant.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If he is talking about sleeping with several different people I have a hard time believing he has several year relationships in there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also a good point
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I counted 2 and a half years as a long term relationship.
Like I said, their reasoning is what pissed me off. If they don't want to see/hear it, then why should I?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not your house. If my friends ask me not to eat their food at their house, wouldn't it be pretty stupid for me to say they can't eat their food either?
MrAxlee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:45:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they gave the reason that I'd leave crumbs everywhere, then they did and left crumbs everywhere, I'd be pretty confused.
Maybe your mom just doesn't feel like changing and washing the bed sheets you had recently fucked under, or maybe your parents are afraid of accidentally walking in on you doing it. Might be something as simple as that, it doesn't necessarily make them evil. If they're really that uncomfortable with it, why would you even wanna force it upon them? Just try and find a different place for your activities, where it will bother no one.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:29:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You expect your parents to abide by the same rules as you in their own house? That's one of the dumbest things I've heard all day.
This is might be the most angsty thing I have ever read. You're out of your mind if you don't understand why your parent's don't want you dipping your stick in their home. I hope your mom doesn't still do your laundry.
I just think it's bullshit. If they followed it themselves I would respect it more.
Who's house it? You may not like it but if it's there house they have every right to set the rules of what they find acceptable. This is one of the main reason that people move out of their parents house. At some point you are to old to just go along with rules you don't agree with.
Now if it's your house and they are staying with you, then they are completely in the wrong.
My parents won't allow me to have sex in the house, which is fine. I don't really care, there are plenty of other places if I wanted it bad enough even if its an inconvenience.
The REALLY stupid rule of my house? I can't sleep next to my SO in the house unless I am married. It was HUGE that he was even allowed to sleep in the back room, with 2 doors and my dogs between us. Its not like my family is religious (atheist and buddhist) but holy shit. I just don't get it. but its TOTALLY COOL if I sleep beside him anywhere else (friends, his place, his parents place).
Its the stupidest rule I have ever heard of and every time I argue it my parents flip their shit. They also don't have any good reasons. they just say "Its our house." REALLY? IM 21 COME ON.
Hell, I was 24 before my mom let my boyfriend sleep in the same bed as me when we came to visit. This was when I was no longer living at home, hadn't been for some time, and to top it all off I had been living with my boyfriend for a few months..
We finally were allowed to when she realized his mom let us sleep in the same bed when we visited there.
My girlfriend's parents are weird about this. Mostly her father and then her mother by extension since it bothers the father so much. He just doesn't like the idea of his daughter being in any sort of romantically intimate situation. This means we can't have her door closed, be under her covers watching netflix, or even hug horizontally. We're both in college.
When I was 15 or 16 I had dated this girl for 2-3 weeks when I finally was over at her house when her parents were home. We'd fooled around some at this point, but no sex.
We were sitting in the basement watching a movie when her mom came down, we did the introduction thing and she started back up stairs. She stopped half way up and shouted down "condoms are in the end table and please don't do it on the couch"
It was an odd boner killer to have her mother say that and be ok with her 15 year old daughter getting plowed in her basement. I'm all for parents being open and encouraging safe sex if they are having sex, but seriously do that conversation before hand.
MrAxlee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex girlfriends mum was fine with it - she left us sandwiches outside the door for when we finished
My parents were pretty permissive/liberal. At 16 (the age of consent here) I got a talk that amounted to "You're probably going to have sex soon if you're not already. Make sure that you trust the person you're doing it with, etc. etc. I'm not going to pretend it's always a magical, life-affirming thing rather than jut a bit of fun though. There are condoms under the sink, make sure you use them if you're going to have sex, and if you're going to screw someone do it in a house rather than being unsafe outside. I don't mind you bringing them back here, just respect that other people live here and don't wake anyone up."
Because of that I've always found it a bit weird when people talk about their parents trying to control their sex lives. I've always thought it just pushes people to be unsafe in how they go about it rather than stopping them from doing it. Like intellectually I get that my experience was the exception, not the rule, but I've never got why that's the case beyond the general "ick" factor of contemplating your family's sex lives. And I've always thought that if you're not mature enough to deal with talking with your kids about sex in terms other than "Ick" then you should probably not have kids.
Knowing that my parents respected the fact that I was an adult with my own sexual desires and agency made it a lot easier for me to develop my own respect for the fact that I was an adult with my own sexual desires and agency, which in turn pointed me very early on towards developing as someone who respected other people's agency and consent. Also made my life a hell of a lot easier when I had to come out as bi, having an attitude of "my sex-life, my business."
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I'd love to, and will, raise my children. Sex shouldn't be a taboo subject, and you should always be able to talk to somebody about problems you're having on that subject, and being able to talk to your parents comfortably about that could in no way be a negative thing.
Exitaph ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:44:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moving out of my parents house after high school was one of the best things that ever happened. Not sure how old you are, but the wait is worth it, man!
My parents had that rule. Even after I was married and we were living in my bedroom (for a month between places) I got in trouble for her sitting on the bed
In High school I pointed out that the door doesn't need to be closed to have sex, nor does there need to be a bed involved. That ironically got me kicked out so I stayed with my girlfriend. My parents got REALLY upset at that and demanded I moved back in...
At one point in the middle of fight (when you are most logical) with my parents I ended up listing the places I did have sex that wasn't "under their roof" which included, but is no way exhaustive:
On top of their roof (with a blanket)
The cab of my truck (hooray extended cab)
The bed of my truck
The bed of their truck
Their driveway
Their deck (but not the part that was under the roof
The tree on the front yard (Date a gymnast it's fun)
The hammock in the back yard (1/10 would not recommend)
They kicked me out again. I stayed at the girlfriends again. Rinse, repeat.
tl;dr: I took it literally when they said I "can't have sex under their roof"
I don't really understands this. I'm 16, my girls 17, we have been together for nearly three years (we had a few months break in between) and her parents don't let us in the house on our own ever. On the other hand, my mother works in sexual health and provides me with condoms... Life is so much easier with understanding parents that you can talk to.
I'm more weirded out that they provided rules at all. I'd just be like "I'd prefer you didn't have sex in my house, but at least have the courtesy to do it when I'm not around."
Man your parents let you guys have sex in the house ever? My mom found out I did once and slapped the shit out of me. Door always open. On top of my bed sheets too. Yeah it was really embarrassing.
MrAxlee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They didn't let it happen, but they caught us the first and only time I've ever tried while they were home, and it wasn't a good sight
My mum was like this, I was 17 when I started having sex with my first & current boyfriend, she would be really pissy, come storming in the room no knocking hoping to catch us. After a couple of time we never stayed round there again, always went to his where his parents just left us to it. When my son is older I will have no problem having girls over once he is of age, as long as he is respectful of us being in the house (I.e. keeps the noise down) there won't be a problem...
That's disgusting, I'm sorry. Being a parent and not wanting my kid to have possibly risky sex is one thing, and not wanting to know my kid was having sex while I watched TV is also another thing... but having boisterous sex while my kid is in the house? No. Nope. Sorry. My husband and I wait until our boys are dead asleep, or sometimes until they're sleeping over somewhere else, to break out the crazy.
I'm 28, and my girlfriend is 21. I've been living on my own for ten years, she's been out of her parents house for a few, and we lived together for about a year before she moved across the country to go back to college, and is staying at her mom's house. I get to see her once every few months, and when I visit down there her parents won't even let us sleep in the same room, and had the "door stays open" rule.
Seriously? We're adult people, what is this? I want to sleep next to my girlfriend.
Another thing I don't really get is why my boyfriend and I can't sleep in the same bed when we stay at our parents' houses. We're both college seniors so we've obviously spent a lot of nights sleeping together already, plus it's pretty much the last place we'd go to have sex.
You know, I'd rather know my kid was having sex somewhere safe than in the back of someone's car. The idea of her having sex at all is terrifying to me, but eventually it's going to happen. Would rather it happen somewhere that condoms are readily available and that she feels comfortable in. As long as it happens when I'm not home or when I'm asleep, that is.
But it's their house their rules. If they say you can't have sex under their roof that's the end of it. Do you pay the mortgage/bills? No? Deal with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't however have a problem with fucking, excessively loudly, at 4am, when I have work the next day.
Since you apparently don't pick up on social cues, allow me to translate:
LOTM42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well they own the house they can have sex whenever they want.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their house their rules. That's just been the way it is. Same as it will be with your house.
TJzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
while they are moaning in the middle of the night just loudly burst into moaning YES YES YES then when they stop be sure to ask them HEY WHY U STOP I WAS GETTING TO THE GOOD PART. establish dominance.
My dadss rule was two pronged, the only person having sex in his house was him, and if I want to have a girl over for sex, then I should be getting my own place, it was reasonable, and I had no issues with it.
BLamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you? Maybe that's their way of trying to get you to move out.
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
18 - I have very good reasons to still be living at home, and as much as I want to move out its very hard for me to at the moment (and not that I'm too lazy to get a job, I'm working 52 hours a week). They're not in a rush to kick me out because they know my situation well
KazROFL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you paying rent, bro? Have you paid them back for bringing you up? How about all the shit they've had to put up with for you? What about them destroying their lives, to give you one?
stfu
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite thing to do when parents don't want your partner in your bedroom is let them catch you in the bedroom, with the door closed, wrapping christmas gifts.
MrAxlee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:49:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time we played porn loudly as we heard them pull in the driveway, so they opened the door to the sound of sex. Was a pretty funny reaction. Still got bollocked for us both being home alone. Worth it.
Go to their room, open the door, and say "no sitting on the bed."
agbmom ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 21:43:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk about this one. I'm a mom and I know at 16+ my daughter will probably be sexually active but I don't want to know or think about it going on in the next room. I mean that's my little girl & it's something I want to ignore forever. On the opposite side when I was 16+ having sex when my parents or his parents were home knowing we weren't supposed to made it that much better.
[deleted] ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 16:49:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing a bra.
Yes, I have nipples. Get over it.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:48:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:34:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remind me to use Listerine after kissing you then.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I add guys not wearing underwear when wearing mesh shorts to this?
A neighbor where I used to live called me "indecent" because she could see my "thing" (she must have been afraid to say dick) through the fabric of my mesh shorts.*
*The shorts weren't see through, the fabric just contorted to the form underneath.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so weird because underwear won't stop you from seeing the outline of your penis, especially if you were to have the misfortune of getting an erection (which could show through even tighter underwear).
Well, its not what I said is it? You are a grown up, you know men like titys as well as seeing the contour of nipple through your shirt. If you present them in a sexual way we will take a look, that doesn't mean we stare at your body for seconds or that we make assumption about your sex life.
Hey, you would look at our junk when we walk around with half a boner in leggings/sweat pants, wouldn't you?
You can't be all cool with (mild) "socially unacceptable" behavior and expect your surroundings not react to it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:44:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
present them in a sexual way
say what?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, but taking a look (normal) is different from ogling. I wouldn't think it prudent to have to mention "hey, I'm gonna stare at your body" - just do it, and with discretion. No need to mention it.
Thank you! I don't care if you are trying to ignore their screaming for attention, I can't ignore that shit. Tell you kid to shut up or I will. I suspect I gained that view from working 3 years in a grocery store and wanting to yell at a ton of screaming little brats.
Vhett ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I have a story about my mom doing this to someone else's kids!
I think I was about 15 or 16 at the time. Some minor backstory in relation: My father died when I was 7, so my mom was left to raise me through the majority of my life on her own, and really needed some emotional support from me due to my father's passing.
One of the ways we tried to continue our bond was going to see films and talking about them. I'm not talking about Transformers or something, say a movie like The King's Speech. I can't remember the specific movie we saw, but there were a group of pre-teens or very young teenagers present in the theatre who, for God knows what reason, wanted to see the movie. There were no adults present near them, so I assume the group of friends just went by themselves.
From the minute we got into the theatre, these kids were obnoxiously loud, and also using their cellphones with full brightness. They were on the left-hand side of the theatre. The ones in Canada are usually split into columns like:
|[ ]| |[ ]| |[ ]|
Where the majority of the theatre is seated in the "midde".
Even as the movie begins, these kids are still going wild, and there's several other people in the theatre constantly glancing over at them. My mom was a school teacher, and generally an awesome person, so she decides she's had enough and walks over to them, even though sixteen year-old me is thinking "Oh God no."
My mom walks over, and tells them that they can either be quiet, or she'll have them removed by: She points over to me, and proceeds to tell them I work at the theatre (which I did at the time), and that I can also phone their parents after their kicked out.
I gave a half-assed wave, sinking into my chair, and the kids actually just got up and left the theatre altogether. At the time I was employed, a ticked for each of them would have cost $11.50 CAD, and the combos were another $10 minimum.
At the time, I was a bit peeved at my mom due to my young age and fear of being embarrassed, but posting and thinking back on it, my mom probably saved me, and perhaps fifty other people from a terrible movie experience due to four immature kids.
I don't necessarily mean saying "shut the fuck up," even though that's what is honestly needed sometimes it seems. But respectfully saying "your kids are distracting" or "are making it hard to hear so and so," i don't think is rude, nor should it be perceived that way IMO.
Fucking your friends. Like, we both share a ton of interests, we're not hideous, and we're not in committed relationships. As long as it's understood it's just for fun, why can't a fuck just be a fuck?
Silence. I'm not going to fill the air with random bullshit. If I have something constructive to say, I'll say it. The concept of awkward silence is constructed by people who don't know when to stop talking.
Dumpster diving doesn't bother me. I don't do it, but I don't judge others that do.
Being honest with people instead of lying to save their feelings. If I go somewhere with someone and I could've lived without going to, then I'll tell them it was or okay or it sucked. I'm not gonna be like "Jeez, that was fantastic! I can't wait to go again". Everyone is so afraid of offending each other. As a result, everyone tiptoes around and nobody is straight up about anything.
Call me soulless but going barefoot. I understand in places of buisiness, but other than that what the fuck is wrong with feet?
Also not dressing up for certain events, particularly events that don't mean anything to you. Explain to me why the ability to pay for dress clothes is equated to being a glowing example of what a man should aspire to be. All it means is that you had hundreds of dollars to spend on clothes that aren't even comfortable. Stupid if you ask me.
I wear Fivefingers any time I'm not barefoot. It's the next best thing and socially acceptable. Well mostly, people sometimes comment on them or look at them strangely, but they are shoes.
Kristen Stewart. I seriously don't understand the vitriol she draws on reddit... I mean, I bet the average redditor hasn't seen the Runaways, so maybe that's the closest thing I have to a theory. Can someone explain this to me? Where are these imaginary hoards of people who worship the ground she walks on? Because I never hear accolades that make her worthy of detraction...
Seriously, I'd suck a hundred sparkly dicks if it meant getting the millions they've gotten from those movies.
ceetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A thousand.
spndl1 ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 14:25:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Her, Pattinson, and Lautner are the faces of Twilight and reddit hates Twilight. It's easy to hate something you can put a face to.
I dislike Twilight, it's not for me, but I would totally do what Pattinson did, take the paycheck and subtly dig at what I really thought of the movies in interviews.
kanst ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:02:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is amusing is that Kristen Stewart has been pretty clear that she also hates Twilight. You can hate it as much as you want, but if you offered me 10 million dollars id slather on glitter and put in some fake vampire teeth and read that shit dialogue.
She is a slightly above average actress. She doesn't have the greatest range but if she gets to play a sulking woman she plays it really well and nuanced. I thought she was really great in Still Alice.
Well, thanks to an uneventful weekend and FX, I'll say she did the best she could with the material given to her... I mean, what the hell can you do when you are written a line like "You nick-named my child after the Loch Ness Monster?" She had roles before and after! This seems very insufficient to me.
spndl1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:34:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other than Adventureland and Jumper (maybe Snow White and the Huntsman), her other movies aren't really targeted at reddit's primary demographic of 18-35 year old males (who tend to be the most vocal).
They probably didn't watch Twilight, either, but Twilight was impossible to avoid when it was at the height of its popularity.
It doesn't matter how talented, or lack thereof, she is if the people complaining about her aren't watching her movies.
There it is! I personally think she deserves an Oscar merely on merit of being able to perform in Twilight without busting into gales of laughter. I know I couldn't. That shit was ridiculous!
spndl1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:38:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People crapped on her for having no emotion on screen or off during Twilight, but I'd probably have trouble mustering any emotion given the source material or enthusiasm during interviews about Twilight (given the source material and knowledge my performance is crap because of it).
The reason she has no emotion in the films is because that's how she's written in the books; Bella Swan is probably one of the most boring, deadpan, 2D characters to ever hit bookshelves.
spndl1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I don't disagree at all, but that's primarily what her haters know her from, and using the small sample size, they say she has no emotion.
I think everyone saw Twilight. I know I did and I think she still sucks at acting from what I've seen. She's cute and all, but kind of reminds me of my ex. I don't think she deserves hate, but I don't think she deserves praise either.
Adventureland, she played a similar role and was actually okay opposite Jessie Eisenberg.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:42:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand the vitriol, either. Although in a lot of her roles Stewart is very emotionless, like a female Keanu Reeves.
But I think a lot of it is the fact that the only thing they've ever seen her in is Twilight, and the dialog was so bad in Twilight that people tend to rage at the person saying the terribly-crafted sentences as opposed to the invisible writer who wrote them.
Hayden Christensen didn't write the "I hate sand" speech, but he is the face of it.
Ace417 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was super unemotional in snow white and the huntsman
Kristen Stewart has been in the public eye since childhood and a considerable amount of her life has been out of her control for a long time. And people dig at her for being awkward/unfriendly in public but she has GONE ON RECORD saying that it's usually because she has paps screaming invasive things at her and is trying not to burst into tears. People can't handle when a woman is unfriendly or private. That all said, she's a decent actress when she's doing a project she loves, like Runaways, The Cake Eaters, Adventureland, etc.
We have everything in common. When I read this review, I was like, this guy knows my heart. That's just how I felt watching her. I mean, she was such a perfect choice for that role. Mono-syllabic but still completely mesmerizing and magnetic.
I'm a terrible judge of actors, but from what I hear she's committed the egregious sin of being a mediocre actor. Also, I think people don't realize just how much prejudice we have for women who don't have easy smiles. It makes people feel insecure, so they blame the women themselves for being neutral-faced/unreadable.
Rustash ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She slept with the director of that Snow White movie she was in, while already in a relationship. That's pretty scummy to me.
Not to let the director off easy though. Dude had a wife and kids. If Kristen Stewart is scummy, he's absolute garbage.
Yup, I've always suspected this as well. I wouldn't be surprised if the dating Pattinson thing was just a way to promote the movies. It was obvious she wasn't really comfortable acting fake in interviews. One time an interviewer asked her who her first celebrity crush was and she said "Natalie Portman" and the guy was like wut.
Rustash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think she's just a bad liar. She seems like such a fun person in reality and she clearly has a lot more energy and more expression when she's not being someone else and I think that's the problem. She knows she isn't these people so she's trying to lie, in some part of her head so it comes off just a little stiff.
The average redditor doesn't give a flying fuck about her. Just because a post gets 3k points doesn't mean a website with millions of users share that posts opinion.
merkon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm one of the only people who admits to finding her attractive these days.... Like yeah, Twilight sucks and all, but if you saw her on the street and didn't know she was in Twilight, many people would be very interested in her.
It's pretty much a social norm to get married and have children. I personally don't think this is a must do in my life. I see it as a variable. My career path, place of residency, life style choices, and anything of that nature is in my control. But who I marry and the kids I have are not entirely in my control.
I might get married. I might not get married. I might have kids. I might not. But if I didn't, I'm totally fine with that.
Marriage and children are something I don't really have in my mind. People think that's "unfortunate" of me to feel this way but why do I have to do any of that? I don't.
Completely agree. And because I'm still in my early 20's people seem to think that I don't know what I'm talking about and that I will definitely change my mind
I always said I wouldn't have kids, but find myself changing my mind, and I'm in the early 20's myself. But at the same time, I'm sure there's people who always said they'd have kids but end up never having any, or having to adopt. You never really know what people you will meet or how your life will be changed by someone or something; I agree that assuming that everyone will get married and have kids is a bit silly. Personally I think it would be a lot nicer if instead of "have kids" the social norm changed to "adopt kids". And that the social norm equally accepted that not everyone needs/wants kids.
I feel like marriage and bringing someone into this world filled with evil against their will are big enough decisions that I should be convinced to have it happen not just want to have it happen by default.
I'd get along just fine without either one.
[deleted] ยท 1180 points ยท Posted at 15:41:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Holku ยท 1483 points ยท Posted at 16:41:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't call people retards. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. - Michael Scott
I totally agree though. I always use offensive words with my buds that we can all use with each other and no one minds. What makes an offensive word "bad"? It's (either/both) the intention of the user to hurt someone, or the pain of an unintented victim. I wouldn't call someone with an inherited neurological disorder a retard because I know that the word has been used historically in an oppressive/ hateful way, and I wouldn't say it to someone I'm not comfortable with because I'd rather play it safe than risk striking a nerve and really causing distress to someone. My friends on the other hand know that we can call each other retards because that how you bust balls.
If I use a word that makes someone uncomfortable and they let me know that it bothers them, I will respect them and drop the word around them, but if someone tells me I can't say something, my inner 12 year old will act accordingly.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like a lot of redditors see people on tv and think "oh he's cool, I wanna be like him", when in reality they're written as assholes and we're meant to laugh at them for being so dim.
Michael Scott however, unlike David Brent, was written to be likeable.
I understand where you are coming from, but I still cringe when I hear people say it. I understand why people think it's not offensive and chose to say it. I work with people with disabilities and the stories they've shared with me about being called a retard by their peers or family members or what not just breaks my heart. I don't personally use it, but I try not to preach it onto my friends unless we're in a public space, I will maybe then ask them to watch what they're saying. I know I have no right to try and censor people's vocabulary, but it's hard for me not to.
It should be noted, that almost every word intended to point out someones lack of intelligence used to be a word to describe mentally handicapped people, and "retarded" isn't anything new. Stupid, dumb, idiot, and moron were all once the "psychological" terms for varying degrees of mental disability.
And in my experience, it's fairly easy to separate the friendly insult for the actual definition of the word. And to take it for it's more literal meaning just so you can be offended actually seems more selfish to me than I would consider them using the word to be unempathetic (I know its not a real word, but I can't think of the one I want). Basically, by taking offense to someone obviously using the term to tease his friend for a less-than-intelligent mistake does more to make it about you than it does to make them feel bad.
It's like that for a lot of common insults like "gay" and "retarded." I don't think its "mean" for people to use these insults as long as they aren't insulting someone for actually being homosexual or mentally handicapped, and it seems to be easily distinguishable to me. South Park actually has a decent episode that more or less explains what I'm saying when they call loud obnoxious motor cycle gangs gay.
This is my thought exactly but I still cringe at myself when I say it because I'm cringing at what others might think of me for letting it slip. I rarely use it but when it slips out in public it spikes my anxiety.
Yeah, a guy I know has a younger brother with a mental disability, and ever since I've become friends with him I've stopped saying it. I didn't realize the impact it could have.
After having friends with DS express how much it hurt to hear it used in a derogatory way, even if it wasn't directed at them, and people rationalizing its use at others people's expense was enough to make me replace it with other, and much better, insults. Even when they aren't around. It feels wrong.
Moron, dolt, idiot and fool all meant the same as retarded before people started using then as insults. The linguistic need for the word to be used that way will never go away, just the word will change
Retard has a valid definition. Using it as an insult is perfectly fine too. Some people are idiots, some are retarded. Nobody wants to be like that hence it is insulting to be likened to something you are not.
But there are much better words for those scenarios, "stupid", "idiot", "Sarah Palin". It never seems to bother people until someone they know is handicapped.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there some background that makes the term offensive. It used to be the term for it. I don't even know what's proper now because everything lasts a while before it becomes "offensive." Is it mentally challenged, mentally handicapped, intellectually disabled, mentally disabled, or something else?
It's a constantly evolving set of terms, which seem to change when a new form of disability starts becoming more known. When my younger sister was alive we would just use disabled or handicapped, those still seem to be fine.
Also to answer the original part, the late 90's and early 2000's is when it started losing favorability with the masses, mostly because it was being used in a derogatory and abusive way in every day life.
Yeah I mean honestly, if it's wrong to say "retarded" then we might as well not say "stupid" or "idiot"
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:14:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh trust me, some have asked others to not use words like "stupid" or "idiot" in a derisive context. Called them stupid anyway, because they were being fucking stupid.
My uncle (well, nan's brother) had Down's Syndrome so we were banned from using whatever word was considered offensive at any given time. Though she could remember times when mongoloid and spastic where the acceptable terms.
It's like calling something shit. You're not actually saying it is a piece of poo, you're comparing it to such. Like me saying something isn't retarded isn't me observing that an item or an act may have a mental disability, it's saying "that is something that would take place if this situation or item had a mental disability."
Don't hate on similies. I think it's similies anyway.
Metaphor. Similies are indirect comparisons using like or as. "It's as if this table were a retard" is a simile, "this table is retarded" is a metaphor.
Oh cool, thanks for that! I hope this isn't how I forever remember the difference between the two.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:18:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But we don't use "stupid" and "idiot" to describe actual people in medical contexts any more. So they are great words to use instead of "retarded". Or just call your friend a dumb fuck or something.
narp7 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:49:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There are plenty of words that we use that aren't used in medical context. That's the entire idea of a vernacular that you're ignoring. When someone breaks a bone, I don't say, "My friend fractured his tibia." I say, "My friend broke his leg." All I'm saying is that a lack of usage in medical context isn't a good argument against something.
Edited to remove accidental insult: annoying --->ignoring
I don't think we use "retarded" in medical contexts that much anymore, either. The preferred term these days seems to be "intellectual disability".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm yeah people aren't called "retarded" but the term "mental retardation is used".
In any case, when people want to be a dick to disabled people, they're sometimes still called "fucking retards" or something like that, so the association is still there.
Look, if you're saying I should say "dumb fuck' instead of "retarded", then you're a dumb fuck. And retarded.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could chose to say "Retard" which is hurtful to a lot of people, or just "dumb fuck" which is just hurtful to that particular dumb fuck. It's clear what the decent thing is to do.
in the same way, someone referring to their friend as gay or retarded is not actually thinking about actual homosexuality or a legitimate mental condition.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I understand you right, yeah it's dismissive and belittling to use the words "gay" or "retarded" as insults. There are so many other good ways to insult a particular person that doesn't insult a whole kind of person as a consequence.
Well, maybe I wasn't clear. My wife and I call each other "gay" if one of us tells the other that they love them. We are both heterosexuals. The thought of homosexuality never crosses our mind when we say it, there is no malice or ill will when we say it. Honestly, it doesn't even make sense because showing affection is not a "gay" trait. Do I insult a whole group of people when the word is said? No. They never even cross my mind. I think we just live in a world that everyone wants to be the victim, and we need to play the part of the good citizen with Orwellian NewSpeak. If you're offended because I say something that I believe is benign, then where does that leave us?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing I don't understand is how you can believe that calling someone gay as an insult or joke is benign. It's only funny if there is an implication that there is something wrong with gay people.
Because it's contextual. The word doesn't mean anything in the manner I speak it. I could use the word "queer". I'm sure you would take offense to that as well despite it predating attribution to gay people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feel free to stop talking about my being offended. I never claimed that.
I don't know ANYONE in real life who is hurt by me saying retard. Only on reddit do I meet those special kinds of people who get offended by that. There is SOME complex involved in getting hurt by the word "retard". I mean, I know not everybody is like me, but I am diagnosed with high functioning autism, and I don't give the slightest shit when someone uses "autistic" as an insult. In fact, it's kind of funnier to me. I use it myself a lot. Does this make me a shitty person? Kinda, yeah. Do I regret it? A little.
But you know what?
Life was meant to be enjoyed. And I enjoy being slightly insensitive. I'm generally nice to people I know, so I think it makes up for this.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:40:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's a complex, for me personally, I enjoy life by trying not to be a dick to people. The truth is that the word retard is very hurtful to the people I know. If that's not the case for you, then using the word might not be a problem at all.
Perhaps one different in real life is that when people know you and your intentions, saying an insensitive thing as a joke is pretty funny. On the internet people might just think you're a real dick.
But now you're talking about how you treat people you know personally, not what the bar is for socially acceptable.
If you're close with someone and care about them, then it's expected that you'll take heed of their particular sensitivities or traumas, i.e. if I'm hanging out with my friend whose mother has recently passed, I'm not making your mom jokes. However, that does not mean that it's socially unacceptable to tell your mom jokes because someone in the crowd may have recently lost their mother, or maybe even lost her years and years ago but never moved on.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 17:30:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental retardation is a disorder that people have. I think it's fine to refer to it in that context. The reason why it's socially unacceptable is because people keep using it like an insult or in other negative contexts so it ends up having a negative connotation. People who are mentally retarded automatically are seen as a bad thing. It's like people who use "gay" as an insult. It becomes seen as something negative.
I used to call people "retarded" and "gay" when I was a teenager. Then I had a conversation with a guy I knew I high school after he came out of the closet about how he felt when people used "gay" like that. He knew that they weren't talking about him or actually being gay but it still hurt hearing people say it in such a negative way. After that I pretty much stopped using phrases like that.
Also it is so much more fun to make up ways to call people ass holes.
qman1963 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. If I call someone a fuckface or an asshat, I think that's fine. Because that's not something people identify as. No one has an actual identity trait of asshat. But there are many people who identify as gay and retarded. And they can't control those things. And a lot of them are proud of those things. I really don't think it's cool to say them. Sorry if people disagree but that's just what I think.
Like how would people react if I just said "Dude you're being so fucking Asian right now lmao"
Like no. We don't do that. Because that implies being Asian is funny or bad. And it's not. It's just how people are. Just like how people are gay or retarded.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:17:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But see, I know gay people that use the word gay in that way. It all depends on the person.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:44:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is like people who say "I'm not racist, I know a black friend who..."
Your anecdotal evidence of the gay people you know doesn't work as a substitute for the opinions of gay people as a whole.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:57:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My point was that both sides of that argument is all anecdotal evidence. I don't use the word gay unless I'm talking about an actual gay person. I was just saying that a friend being offended is just as anecdotal as my friends not being offended.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:34:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think part of the reason for the backlash against it is that recently, the APA has started to drop that from the vocabulary.
Back in the day, "Mentally retarded" was a catch-all term for "developmental issues we don't understand." People with Autism/Asperger's, Dyslexia, Down's Syndrome, and other disorders were all lumped together as "retarded." This of course wasn't very helpful because each has different causes, symptoms, etc. so it's not really a category at all.
My youngest brother has Aspergers but when he was diagnosed he was high-functioning Autism. Had he been diagnosed five years earlier he'd have been labeled Retarded.
[deleted] ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 17:49:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental retardation is something negative. Stop acting like it isn't.
pomegra ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 21:29:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're misunderstanding. It's not a positive thing to have a learning disability in the same way that it's not a positive thing to be blind.
The difference is that when you call someone "retarded" as an insult, you're not merely making an objective observation, you're making being "retarded" a negative quality that reflects on a person's character.
It's kind of like how calling someone fat is much more than an observation on someone's physical appearance. It's a negative commentary on their character and who they are as a person. People don't hate fatness. They hate fat PEOPLE. They hate them as human beings.
Why are we allowed to ask if someone is blind when they almost hit our car?
If it turns out that person actually IS blind, awkwardness ensues but in most contexts it isn't deemed inappropriate to use that phrase.
If someone does something completely illogical like putting your eggs in your shopping bag and putting a gallon of bleach on top, asking if they are retarded is referring to the behavior and if the person turns out to be mentally impaired then the same awkwardness ensues as in the blind situation.
I respect that the group feels it is unacceptable to use it casually so I don't but I also don't see how it is different than calling someone blind which I have not heard was considered offensive.
As someone with a heap of mental disabilities, I think that you can't separate ability from character entirely. There's nothing left over once you exclude all a person's qualities from being part of how their personality gets judged.
Retardedness is a negative quality. Sometimes that negative is overwhelmed by other positive aspects of a person. But all else being equal, it generally makes people worse.
I think people hate fatness independently of hating fat people. I am somewhat overweight, and I hate my own fatness, even though I don't hate myself.
amedeus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When my friends can't find something that I'm pointing at, I call them blind. If blind people take that as a negative remark about their character, then I guess fuck the blind.
Especially Venetian ones, those things don't block shit.
that's not it at all and you know it. it is clearly used as saying someone is acting in a way that a mentally handicapped person would have an excuse for.
we need a term for these things. like high horse step ladders. things people don't really take offense to but love to find because it makes them feel morally superior. like the whole confederate flag thing.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:25:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People with mental retardation are human beings. People like you tend to forget this.
When you make something that is such an intrinsic part of who they are as a person negative, they're going to be treated like shit, even more so than they already are.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:37:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How so? Being blind is worse than being able to see. Being paralyzed is worse than being able to walk. Being deaf is worse than being able to hear. Everyone can recognize this and still treat people with disabilities with respect. In fact most people treat people with disabilities with more respect because they recognize they have struggles that others don't have to go through.
Being retarded is a negative thing, just like other disabilities. Do you not think your life would be worse if you were retarded? If it was possible, wouldn't you want to cure retardation?
The only time I see people be rude to retarded people is when they expect them to be able to perform tasks as well as everyone else can.
The issue stems from how these people are being referred to, which /u/lalliesaurus pointed out (also you have complimentary usernames how neat)
People with disabilities is much more respectful than retarded person, you're putting the fact that they're a person before their disability. When you say retarded person, regardless of the degree of mental or physical retardation, you're defining them and referring to them simply by their disability. Sure, you don't mean any harm, but the context behind the word and it's typically negative connotations can't be removed from the situation, and when a person with any mild sort of disability is repeatedly labeled as a retard, a cripple, or a deaf, the statement can become incredibly derogatory.
It's also good to note that 'being worse off' doesn't exactly translate in those people's minds all the time, either. Somebody born with Down's, autism, blindness, Asperger's - they don't know normal and don't know being 'better off', their existence is simply all they know. This can also factor into how referring to them simply by their disability can be derogatory.
Not necessarily offensive, but a more person-first way of referring to Bill would concentrate on Bill the person rather than dehumanizing or generalizing him, such as simply "the blind". If you really wanted to be sensitive you might say "Bill is visually impaired", but there are plenty of linguists that critique the awkwardness and people actually part of the group being referred to might prefer something else entirely.
I'm not an expert on the topic at all, I've just had to do a butt-load of sensitivity training so these sorts of things are at the back of my mind. I'm not going to bend over backwards to suit every single person, but I try to cut out the most 'widely offensive' words for courtesy's sake. Personally I feel like blindness has a less negative connotation or stigma than some of the other terms mentioned in the thread, so it's a bit stickier in terms of getting it right but also less mentioned because it's been more common and/or visible in society for longer. And I mean if you're ever in any doubt, there's no harm in asking politely.
Also, I'm pretty sure that most disabled people are well aware that their disability is a negative. I'm not intellectually disabled, so can't speak for them (nor can I speak for all disabled people, of course), but having a severe hearing loss, I'm well aware that my hearing is not normal and that it's a negative trait.
I also know that my disability is going to irk some people and while it's annoying, I can't blame them, as I know better than anyone how it keeps me from being as good as if I had normal hearing (and I'm absolutely not bothered by the idea of my hearing not being normal). I recognize that my disability makes me somewhat less of a model human, biologically. I won't have biological children, for example, because my condition may be genetic and there's no way in hell that I'd risk giving someone else a shitty disability.
TL;DR: The disabled know they're disabled and not normal.
pomegra ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deaf people don't hear, blind people don't see, but people with mental retardation do think, and are capable of making rational thoughts.
Used the way that people often use it, it wrongly implies that people with mental retardation are incapable of being rational, or are somehow inferior as a whole, among other things.
Also, people who are blind and deaf embrace those terms. The mentally retarded and the family members of the mentally retarded don't like the word because of its negative connotations.
Not all blind people are literally incapable of seeing, so I think his/her argument still stands.
There are different types of blindness. Some people don't have pupils. Other's have pupils and their pupils receive light and react, but their brains can't translate (or can't receive) the signals or translate them incorrectly (this is where you get people who are told to reach for a bar they can't see, but somehow know to hold their hand vertically or horizontally to grab the bar every time).
I am legally blind (defined in the US as vision at or worse than 20/200), however I can still see. If I take my glasses off, I could tell you what color something is or duck if you threw a ball at me.
There's color blindness, nyctalopia (AKA night blindness), total blindness (which is the complete inability to see), macular degeneration, legal blindness... all kinds of blindness.
There's a whole spectrum when it comes to visual disability, just as there is when it comes to mental disability, so I think the point /u/Shrubosaur made still stands.
narp7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:59:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do realize that deaf and blind people can think as well, right? Every one of those groups is aware of their condition. It's not unique to people who have mental retardation.
Also, "are you deaf/blind" are both commonly used expressions for when people don't see/hear/pick up on something.
Also, retarded isn't carrying any more negative connotations than deaf or blind. It is an objectively negative trait that carries many negative implications, none of which are connotations. They are merely facts.
Because of causality, any disability, regardless of if it is blindness, deafness, or retardation will have negative effects on that person's life. People don't pretend it doesn't exist for blind people. Deaf people aren't ignored either. Why should it be different for people with mental retardation?
The reason this is a touchy issue is because society likes to pretend that differences in intelligence aren't a thing. Our society really doesn't like to address intelligence. It is one of the most taboo things in our society, so much so that many people don't even realize it's a taboo.
The reason for this is that if people acknowledged varying intelligence, people would have to give up the "you can be anything you want" mindset, which is already obviously not the case. Not everyone can be president, and intelligence is a huge piece of that. That's why the word retarded is taboo. blindness/deafness are physical/immediately visible traits, but intelligence is not and it is the trait that a person's entire life rests upon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're misunderstanding.
The implication is that people who have mental retardation are perceived to be incapable of thinking in the same way that it's objective fact that deaf people or blind people cannot hear or see.
narp7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they can't really think in the same way that others can, just as someone who is legally blind or deaf can't see or hear in the same way as others. It's exactly the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are people who are mentally retarded literally incapable of thinking?
No, they aren't. That's the implication. And it's a wrong one.
narp7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:53:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're making a straw man argument here. No one is saying that they are literally incapable of thinking. No one is implying it either.
No, the implication is that they can't think as well as most people, which is basically a fact. Going along with the previous example, if your friend can't find something right in front of him, you might call him blind. If your friend makes a mistake or descion that makes it seem like he didn't think well about it, someone might call him retarded.
You're comparing the wrong things with these examples. Both the term blind and the term retarded (outside there literal usage) are used as a comparison to there literal meanings in the sense that they both negatively affect an attribute of somebody, not that they both make someone incapable of using that attribute.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the distinction is that being called blind, deaf, or paralyzed in those contexts isn't an insult; it's a neutral statement of fact.
This is not so for the aforementioned usages of "retarded."
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:11:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be deaf if you've never heard someone call a referee blind ;)
pomegra ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Those two examples are definitely not the same thing and you must know that.
When you're calling the referee blind, you're not necessarily misattributing characteristics to blind people that aren't true. It's a completely different context.
When you say something that you find ridiculous "gay", there's an implicit association there. You're implying that you think that gay people are ridiculous.
When you tell your friend who is doing something silly or irrational "retarded", you're associating "retarded" with silly and irrational, when people with learning disabilities may not even reflect those behaviors. It's not ironic. It's derogatory towards people with those mental handicaps.
They are exactly identical. The context here is "Calling someone who does clearly not actually have a mental disability retarded."
Seemingly average person does not hear something an average person would be expected to hear: Are you deaf?
Seemingly average person does not see something an average person would be expected to see: Are you blind?
Seemingly average person does not understand something an average person would be expected to understand: Are you retarded?
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:47:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're just making assumptions about what it's like to be mentally retarded.
I won't pretend to be a spokesperson for the plights of those with learning disabilities, but assuming that they are intrinsically irrational or silly, as the context of many of the usages of "retarded" suggest, among other things, is going too far.
Now you're just making assumptions about what it's like to be mentally retarded.
Are you retarded? Failing to achieve an expected average level of rationality is precisely the kind of thing that is associated with someone who has an intellectual disability.
Needless to say, I am going to gleefully continue using the word "retarded" as a term of disparagement, and I feel confident that nobody who is horrified by that is actually in a position to cause me any adverse consequences for it.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:06:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, there's the thing. It's an association, a stereotype, but it's not necessarily the truth. The truth is important.
And I think your comment illustrates why it's not problematic to you. You don't care about the consequences of your actions. You don't care about whether or not using "retarded" in your vernacular is actually harmful or not.
I think that this entire argument is rather pointless with that in mind. You're not likely to change your mind because you don't give a damn as long as it doesn't affect you.
You seem, somehow, to believe that a lowered capacity for intelligence does not entail a lowered capacity for intelligence. That is far too bizarre of a delusion to even try to argue with.
I do care about the consequences of my actions. I just donโt care about the bizarre delusions of retards who run around saying that they somehow endanger people with disabilities.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:13:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Retarded" is very commonly used on contexts that imply many things other than just a "lowered capacity for intelligence", which is what I have argued is the problematic part of it in the first place.
To you, maybe. But not to everyone. Many of us realize they are human beings with value. Stop acting like it is.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:33:46 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never said that they aren't. If you had proper reading comprehension you'd understand that. I said that mental retardation is negative, people with it aren't. Just as insanity, obesity and being a dick are all negative traits. Having them is negative, but it doesn't make you worthless.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:09:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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pomegra ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:48:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Say whatever you want to whoever you want, but don't try to pretend that words don't have consequences, and don't get upset when people think you're an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:27:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being retarded is gay
yetti35 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Using the words within their informal offensive definition puts a negative stigma on a group, and that's not cool. With how many words we have out there, why not use your brain and use a word that fits more properly and won't negatively stigmatize a group?
Instead of using "retarded" or "gay" in that negative light, use: Moronic, stupid, idiotic, ludicrous, etc. There are so many other words that people can use - words that won't negatively stigmatize a group of individuals. I had a friend that always used "Gay" in that negative light, and he just couldn't understand how it could be offensive. Context does matter for words, and people need to learn to stop using words within the wrong context. Understand the context, use your brain, and select a more intelligent word instead of using words that can put certain groups down.
mental regardation is an antiquated term. It's no longer used to describe people who have a learning disability. So using the argument that its a medical condition isn't really valid.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is still colloquially tied to people who have learning disabilities though. You could make a similar argument about "stupid" and "idiot", but those have been fully divorced from their original meanings in a way that "retarded" has not been.
True, but isn't that essentially the problem with using that term? Since it's still closely tied to individuals who suffer from learning disabilities but also used as an insult towards people doing something foolish. The words stupid and idiot don't have that problem since as you pointed is been long divorced from being tied to those individuals.
pomegra ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you arguing, exactly? That using the word "retard" has no consequences, or something else entirely?
Since it's so closely tied to people with learning disabilities, using it the way that people use it now, as synonymous with "irrational", "bad", or "mistake" or something equally negative, that just ladens people with learning disabilities with a negative stereotype that is entirely harmful towards them.
No I'm arguing what you just essentially pointed out. We shouldn't be using that term because of how closely tied it is towards people who suffer from learning disabilities. And my second point was for those who say that it's equally bad to use the words stupid or idiot are off the mark because those words have long been divorced from referring to those individuals.
It can't not have a negative connotation. Every word historically used to describe mental deficiency has become an insult, and anything you come up with to describe that condition will turn into an insult too. When the thing the word is describing is the insult, and is an objectively negative condition, then the word cannot fail to be an insult as well.
As an example, we have an offensive and a non-offensive word for black people, that being the n-word and black people respectively. But the reason the latter doesn't carry the same stereotypes implied by the n-word is that those qualities are part of the word, not the thing it names. If those stereotypes were true, or still thought to be true by a majority of the population, then it would stick as a connotation attached to any word used to describe the same thing. The connotations of the n-word are not actually tied to the word's denotative meaning. The negative connotation of retard is mental deficiency. That is a connotation intrinsically tied to the denotative meaning of the word. You cannot have a word that names the clinical condition of mental impairment and not have a negative connotation to that.
I'm pretty he's saying truly retarded people can't conceptualize what it means to be mentally handicapped.
But no, by all means, let's just assume the worst of every situation so we can get offended and let the smug self-righteousness wash over us.
A word is invented to replace a taboo offensive word, and that word, in turn, becomes an insult and then a taboo offensive word that must be replaced. 100 years ago, โmoronโ, โidiotโ, and โcretinโ were perfectly acceptable terms for different levels of below-normal mental ability. Now โretardedโ is going through the โunacceptableโ phase. In 20 years everyone will be telling you that โmental disabilityโ is a bad thing to say.
Whskydg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ralphie may
snorlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also that is like the correct medical term for it. changing it to "mentally disabled" instead of "mentally retarded" doesnt change the fact its the same thing and most likely disabled will become the new retard in a few years.
The problem comes from the fact that Mentally Retarded (or MR) used to be the professionally accepted term and was used in the same way that Learning Disabled (LD). It then became colloquialized to insult people by comparing them to people who were classified as MR. Retarded was never intended as an insult to people who were classified as MR. It has become that, because when you insult people by using the classification of another group, you're actually insulting that group. It's exactly the same argument as when you hear people say, "When I said that was gay I wasn't talking about actual gay people." Retarded fell out of favor as a professional term because it became colloquialized as an insult.
I like this. In South Dakota, we have the term Cognitive Disability. The term "retarded" or "mentally Retarded" is not used to refer to anyone officially or politically. So being offended because the term "retarded" refers to someone with a disability is actually more insulting because the person getting offended is the one connecting the term to the disability, if that makes sense. One of two things I really like about South Dakota's official terms. That and Native American Day vs Columbus Day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Retard" is going to be my generation's "nigger." 50 years from now I'll be sitting in a wheelchair holding a catheter bag and I'll call someone retarded and my grandkids will be like "GRANDPA!!! You CAN'T SAY THAT!!!" while my kids all turn beet red with embarrassment.
When I was in school in the 90's, we were using that word against actual disabled kids. We were mean pieces of shit.
Everyone's done gone 'n gotten so sensitive about everything.
slaguar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a Mother use that adjective in front of the 8 or so kids she brought to dinner at the restaurant I worked at for her son's birthday party. The problem is that word was once used to imply a mental/learning disability and NOT to connote stupidity. When your friends are acting like "retards" are they mentally/physically handicapped in a way that forces them to act that way or are they just being dumb asses? Because I'll tell you that people who are mentally handicapped do take offense to that word. Some realize they're different and don't understand why. If you continue to use that word (especially in front of children), how are those 8 ten year olds gonna describe the kids that ride the shorter bus? That they're handicapped and born with struggles that you nor I could even fathom or that they're retards... You have every right to continue to call your friends retards, just know that you have a multitude of other adjectives to use that won't make you look insanely ignorant and insensitive to those who do take offense to that word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would never use it or even curse around kids or anyone who I know would be uncomfortable.
wee_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of being a kid and using the phrase "Sped".
Bloq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think retarded is a lot better than retard. Retarded to me just means dumb. Retard is personal :p
In that same vein, "Flame-retardant clothing." No, you don't need to giggle, it's an important distinction to make, as it SLOWS the flame, it's not IMMUNE to it.
I have autism, and I'm fine if you call something retarded. Makes me cringe a little, but it's fine. However, if you start using "Autistic" as an insult...
Drois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Retarded means slow so I don't know why it's so frowned on
A friend work in the summer on a summer camp for kids that are retarded. They have 3 camps each summer. A camp last a week and every last night they have a disco.
My friend then play "let's get retarded" with black eye peas.
We are not a English speaking country so the kids don't understand. Still quite funny.
I hate how this gets lumped in with other offensive phrases, like calling someone or something "gay" as an insult. Doing that enforces the idea that there is something inherently negative about being gay, and that's why it's offensive. It's easy to see why that pisses off gay people.
I don't think anybody disputes that there is something inherently negative about being mentally retarded. If I was gay and no social stigma against it existed my life would be no worse than it is now. The same is not true of being retarded.
I agree. I can't count the number of times my friends have acted less mentally advanced than someone their age should be acting. The word "retarded" actually means that and if I dance around it by saying "You are acting less mentally advanced than someone your age" then they're going to laugh themselves to death making fun of me for sounding like a robot.
Ahmrael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to just tell my friends they're being idiots when they behave like that. Seems more fitting to me.
It's tough, because there's a need for words which have force to them, but most of the places that words can get their force from are ones which carry bad negative implications. Once all the negative implications of a word die, they lose their force. So two competing interests are involved.
The taboo against "retarded" has grown strong enough that I personally don't think the word's worth using anymore. Most of the time I see it used it's not in a particularly tasteful or effective way.
I always think that if we're not allowed to say retarded shouldn't some other words be unacceptable? Like if someone cuts another off, nobody bats an eye if they yell "what are you, blind?" And if someone doesn't hear you, it's fine to say "are you deaf or something?" But if someone does something that make it seem like they don't have full mental capacity and you say "retarded" people freak out. I mean, I don't really say it and I understand why it upsets people but this strikes me as inconsistent.
Caerum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this. I call my boyfriend retarded all the time and he does the same to me.
I don't go out calling random people on the street retarded... or actual mentally challenged people for that matter.
I just really like calling my bf a retard when he's being weird.
See, I disagree with this completely. People who are restarted should be able to be called as such. We can ask if someone's autistic without it being (as) frowned upon. It's a categorization. A valid description of someone. Handicapped isn't an insult. Retarded shouldn't be either.
It's the same as using gay as an insult. Not only are you attacking the person you're insulting, you're cheapening the word, and everyone who actually identifies as gay.
(Mind you, the term is actually outdated IIRC. Point still stands. You're insulting everyone that actually is retarded by using it as an insult.)
2etydi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd argue for the exact opposite. Retarded literally means "slowed down." My cousin Becky is mentally retarded. That's a fact; she has Down's Syndrome, and she's fantastic and enjoyable to be around, but she's slow to learn things, and so she is literally mentally retarded, or just "retarded" for short.
TL;DR: "Retarded" not an insult, and shouldn't be used as one. It's like the word "handicapped" in that it's an actual descriptor of someone's health status.
Having casual sex. Like I don't give a fuck is Andrew or Samantha has sex with fifty people a week, they do whatever the fuck they want and whenever the fuck.
Used to have a coworker who's self-proclaimed pet peeve was people who sneeze more than once in a row...she refused to say god bless you more than once...not that I care...just thought it was a weird peeve to have
I....actually kind of get that. I don't know why, but it just annoys me. I know it's not anyone's fault, so I don't get mad, but for some reason it bugs me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always sneeze two or three times for some reason.
i_teach ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or not saying "thank you" after someone says "bless you." I don't have to thank you for anything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just one of those hanging-on traditions. I don't do it and nobody calls me out on it. Unless you're in the deep south I don't think you'd be called out on it. It originated in the 1600s when sneezing was thought to be a sign of the plague, and it sort of stuck.
The origin you quoted is part of the history of it, but blessing someone who sneezes has been dated back to AD 77. There are various origin stories for this, and there isn't one universally accepted one.
As for the plague origin story, you are correct in that it was used as a benediction, of sorts, against the plague. During the plague outbreak of AD 590, Pope Gregory I made blessing someone sneezing a part of his command regarding praying for the plague victims. They, as you said, believed the sneeze to be an early symptom of the disease.
I don't say that shit at all. I live in the south (US), so it's pretty much expected, but I see no point in it. I'm also fairly against religion so saying "bless" anything feels weird and insincere.
It's like "Your welcome." There's no "point" I guess. It's just about being polite. With that said, I usually say "salud" because I don't like the religious connotations of "bless you."
I hate this SJW movement where I'm told to "watch my language" whenever I make a comment that might have some type of satirical humour in it. If I make a joke and you overhear it, and it offends you - get your nose out of my fucking conversation.
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice idea in theory, but in practice its just stupid. Fact is, someone will like the asshole, and its likely the asshole will cause substantial harm if nothing is done. Being an asshole is synonymous to infringing on other peoples lives to begin with.
I'm ok with telling people no and hearing no. I'm sick and fucking tired of this evasive "maybe or open-ended response really means no" bullshit I get from job applications to dates. It just results in confusion and wasted energy. If you don't want to hire me, reject me, tell me why. If you don't want to date me, reject me, tell me why. I'll do the same for you. All it takes is a little thought in the way you express it and enough guts to take me looking unhappy for a second.
And on that theme, I'm ok with telling people, and hearing, you're bad at something, you look bad, etc. Honest feedback is the only road to improvement, and results in realistic levels of confidence and realistic plans. Doing this unprompted, with a little grace, also shows you really care about a person.
I wholeheartedly agree. On that note, if you ask a sensitive question, especially one that pertains to you personally, be prepared for an answer you don't like.
Perfect example happened not too long ago. A girl I worked with and I were having a conversation about looks and how heavily how one is treated weighs on them. She then asks me if I think she's ugly. Straight up, "Universal, do you think I'm ugly?", not some ambiguous thing like "What do you think of how I look?", or even "Am I pretty?". She specified ugliness, explicitly. So I figured she was mature enough to hear my answer. This girl happened to be ugly. She was short, pudgy in all the wrong places, had a tiny little amount of wispy blonde hair, and had a face that looked a bit like that of a beaver's. Now, I'm not going to tell her that. One can be honest without being a complete ass. Especially when considering that this girl was clearly insecure about her appearance. So I tell her (this isn't verbatim, but a close paraphrase) "Yes, I think you are. But you can't help that, and as such, it has zero relevance as to your reflection of who you are as a person. That part of you isn't ugly at all".
I gave her an honest answer. I knew it wouldn't be very nice to hear, so I added on a truthful little bit about how being ugly doesn't mean that you're now useless as a human being to soften the blow a bit. It was honest and sincere. Not some bullshit quote like "Everyone is beautiful!" or "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!", or a flat out lie like "Of course you are! You're so pretty!". I don't believe in lying unless I have a damn good reason to.
Of course, she flipped her shit. Started calling me insensitive, a bitch, etc.
If you only want to hear one specific answer, don't ask subjective question. For fuck's sake.
I hate that. Thankfully I don't associate with people who are like that, at least not frequently.
The thing that really bothers me lately is all the evasions I get from my friends. I mean, fuck, just tell me you're broke or you don't feel like driving or whatever.
I'm getting to old for this shit. And I'm not even old.
It's a park bench. You don't need my permission to sit there, too.
Go ahead and pick your nose, just don't shake my hand with that hand.
Men and women are allowed to find each other attractive. Checking someone out is not sexual harassment as long as you aren't leering or catcalling.
I will damn well discipline your dumbass kid if you aren't doing it. Yes, I have kids too.
I do not mind revealing who I voted for or asking who you voted for. I'm just curious. If you aren't up for a political debate, we won't have one.
I am Jewish. Having said that, I never have and never will mind having my beliefs questioned--I actually enjoy the discussion. In return, I'd like to question you about yours, too. There's no reason this conversation cannot happen respectfully, even if we disagree drastically.
If I don't want to drink with you, I will not. I don't care whose birthday it is, or who got a promotion. I am happy for you, but that happiness doesn't need to be expressed through imbibing if I don't want to do so.
If you are talking my ear off about a subject that I have sent several disinterest signals to you about, I will outright say "I don't want to discuss this right now." You are welcome to do the same if I am ever boring you to death. If you are socially inept, you might learn something from my bluntness. If you are not, then you should have known to shut up. Either way, bluntness is good.
If I ask you what is wrong and you say "nothing," I will stop pressing you about it and act as if there is indeed nothing wrong. Yes, I am aware that "nothing" doesn't always mean "nothing" per se, but I am also aware that it is a distancing technique. What I take out of that is "I am not ready to talk." Therefore, we won't.
I am Jewish. Having said that, I never have and never will mind having my beliefs questioned--I actually enjoy the discussion. In return, I'd like to question you about yours, too. There's no reason this conversation cannot happen respectfully, even if we disagree drastically.
Absolutely. I had a very very interesting conversation once with an orthodox woman - she explained her own point of view on traditions that most people nowadays see as "repressive". It was a great experience to see something outside my normal worldview.
On your last point though, it depends on the person and your relationship with them. Some people will stew until they explode without help - occasionally (most definitely not always) the best thing you can do for a friend is to prompt a little beyond "nothing". Of course, there are others who just need quiet time to get out a bad mood. YMMV.
Using the word "cunt." Seriously, who cares? Don't be rude and insult people with it or anything like that, but some people get so insulted if you use the word cunt, yet other swear words like fuck are perfectly fine. What's the difference?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:09:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure this is only an american thing. I have australian friends that were surprised when people got so offended after they heard him say "cunt". He says cunt is as common as any other insult in australia and not nearly as offensive to australians as it is to americans.
Yah, I'm an American woman and I have no idea how we decided that this word is somehow more offensive than any other insult. I know a guy from Australia who calls both girls and guys this all the time and it's all in good fun.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Different societies have different values placed on different words. Curse words don't mean anything by themselves really; they just announce displeasure. That's why it's important to have levels for that displeasure in the connotation of curse words. Darn versus damn versus fuck or butthole versus ass versus cunt. Essentially the same denotation, different connotation.
pretreg ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:04:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be surprised if people find this unacceptable if it's actually self defence. I think people get more stressed about hitting women in retaliation, i.e. she hit him so he hit her back, in a context where he's pretty sure she isn't going to hit him again but where he feels rightfully angry. I sympathise that it may feel justified, but that gets awkward fast as size/strength differences increase.
Be surprised. It's unacceptable to most, particularly in a court if the female happens to take your act of self defense as an excuse to have you arrested for assault. Good luck arguing that with the judge, "She hit me first" doesn't typically fly there.
Even in this situation, a guy should be able to hit back. Maybe if women are shown that retaliation is likely, and that they aren't safe just because they are women, they will not be so quick to hit men (in the case of people who think this is okay; certainly most women are not abusive).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is females hiding behind white knights and you can't hit females card thus allowing them to say and do things that most guys wouldn't dare even think about even if they were the same size and weight. How often do you see skinny small guys yelling at body builders rarely cause they know there going to get their ass beat. But females often get in guys faces cause they know he's not going to hit back. How often have you heard of females getting hit by males and stop acting crazy.
I mean both girls and women guys is generic for both boys and men and I'm on a phone and would take too long to keep on typing women and girls every time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blame society, entire childhood, years of told you can't hit girls all of them are weaker than you and girls told nothing in return or yet its okay or he deserves a etc tsundere from anime and manga.
As a woman I completely agree. If I'm standing there punching you in the face, you have every right to haul off and punch me back. As a teenager I smacked my brother across the face with a VHS tape and he in turned punched me square in the mouth. I looked at him and said "I deserved that" and walked away, because I did deserve it. We still laugh about it now.
If a woman punches me, not slaps, but punches me full out, she can expect a strong left hook in her jaw. I will not put up with being a punching bag and being expected to be okay with it. Judge me if you want, but once a girl punches me (and means it, obviously), she's going to receive a boxing-trained haymaker in the jaw.
Even in fiction ex. anime or manga it's annoying to see guys say I don't hit females even when they're attacking him, kicking his ass,could kill him, or trying to, even if their same level of strength yet have no issue with smashing through 1000s of mooks. Sanji vs kaflika or whatever that assassin name was from one piece was rage inducing. More so when he says I won't kick a lady even if it cost me my life but routinely beats up mooks by the dozens every arc when there far weaker.
Honestly, I see a lot of posts that refer to women as "females" and men as "men" in the same sentence, but I don't think "males" is any better regardless.
Anyway, if you want to include women of all ages you can say "women and girls," for example. Though I'm not sure why you need to include children in a post about hitting people in self-defense. In any case, "females" or "males" both sound stilted. It's what an alien would say.
Most times I see this opinion, it's from a guy who got playfully slapped by a woman and wants to react by punching her in the face. I hope you're not one of them.
No for me I see this post when males can't fight back against females simply cause of their gender with getting swarmed by white knights and jailed
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:53:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:16:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm 100% with you. If a city wants to make public urination illegal there better be public restrooms everywhere. It's legal to wet oneself in public but not legal to dispose of the effluent in a controlled and discrete way.
I'm in a city with pretty much zero public restrooms, including at transit stops. Last week we had a huuuuuuge festival (over a million visitors) all week and I can't tell you how many girls i saw who were fined for peeing outdoors. Um. You can't give them nowhere to go and then also fine them for going... is it better that they stand humiliated in wet jeans?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should stand in a corner looking like you're peeing, when a police officer comes over, reveal that you actually just peed in your pants. He can't touch you for it! Great prank
I'm pretty sure it is legal if you don't have access to facilities and it is an emergency. I remember reading through the Ohio law on this at one point but it's been a while.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:03:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares if they even see you.
antoninj ยท 650 points ยท Posted at 14:07:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy and polyamory. Basically, not binding yourself to one person.
DatGDoe ยท 384 points ยท Posted at 14:17:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do you boo.
That's the way I look at most issues.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:50:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much, yeah. It works for some people, it doesn't for others. I'm more than capable, and I've been in poly configurations and such. I don't PREFER it all the time, but it's still just swell when you have just the right combination of people, and everyone has the right mindset.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on several dates with a married, polyamorous woman. Her husband knew and was cool with it, but it was always just us.
It was one of the most positive, freeing experiences of my life. It was like, the fact that she was poly made me feel like I could really be honest with her about my life at that point. Like, it was a genuine, casual friendship that included sex. I think what I liked most was that even though she eventually found another boyfriend and still maintained her and her husband's relationship, I didn't feel jealous or angry at all. I was expecting it would bother me but I think what bothered me the most was worrying what other people in my life would think. The fact that she was sleeping with other guys, not a problem for me.
We ended things because it wasn't going to progress toward a relationship and I decided that I can't be poly (I can only focus on one person at a time in a relationship), but we are still on good terms and still talk every once in a while, even going on a platonic "friend date" afterwards.
but that's the thing. Monogamous relationships are the same way: all parties come to an agreement that the relationship will only involve 2 people and no outsiders.
I understand the concept. Personally, I wouldn't be able to cheat on someone, and wouldn't be able to handle them sleeping around with other men. I couldn't do it. I'd want to murder someone. I'd break up with her instantly.
But if other consenting adults want to do it, who gives a fuck? More power to them.
Right, but that's his point. He wouldn't be able to make that agreement. He would feel like it's cheating. I am the same way. I wouldn't be able to deal with the thought of my SO being with someone else.
Same; there's inherent tension and/or competition in those relationships, I think. Even if there isn't (I wouldn't know) I certainly wouldn't be able to be a part of one.
There's only minor tension. There's some doubt that a lover would come back from sleeping with someone else; but so far that hasn't happened, if anything, absence makes the heart grow fonder on both sides.
It makes sense that you don't. It was, and sometimes is uncomfortable knowing that my SO is sharing a high level of intimacy with someone else. I see the freedom as liberating on both sides more than it is stressful or restrictive, but it's a tradeoff that depends on your values; there's no absolute right or wrong.
EDIT: Completely changed this post, replied to the wrong person.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:48:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kazan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:36:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't make arguments like this. just.. no. Let mono people be mono, let poly people be poly.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 18:25:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Many animals take part in monogamous relationships. So it's pretty natural.
And the friends analogy isn't the same. Friends are just people you like. A SO is someone special that you love and usually the only person you have sex with.
Nothing wrong with monogamous or polygamous relationships. As long as both Consent to the same type of relationship, it's all okay. Neither one is better than the other. Neither one is wrong.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:48:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naw man, being uncomfortable with the thought of your SO banging someone else is an "insane level of jealousy." /s
Kazan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:37:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/aerojonno is one of those dumbfuck poly people who can't wrap their brain around the idea of "some people are mono, some are poly".
aka they're a moron. they're embarrassing me.
Kazan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a poly person I would like to apologize for the idiot above.
That's a retarded analogy. The amount of emotional vulnerability is significantly different in a sexual/romantic relationship versus a friendship. Not to mention non-monogamy comes with that added risk of increasing exposure to STIs and the like. There is nothing wrong with non-monogamy or monogamy but the "insane" jealousy MOST people would feel in an open arrangement simply can not be brushed off as societal conditioning.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just taboo since it's been used to oppress women and imply that they're dime a dozen, but I agree that it should be okay as long as everyone is on board with the situation.
It most likely doesn't work for most of us because of social conditioning to immediate jealousy. We all get jealous of people who are seeing someone we would ideally want as a partner. We are taught once we are in a relationship that we as a couple should be off limits. Its very difficult in my opinion for people to get over that and not associate it with loss.
I don't know why you're getting down voted. I'm all for polyamory but it's simply not true that it only happens in people without jealousy. For many, it's not that they don't get jealous, but that they value the open arrangement enough to learn to process it. For some this is easy, for other's a thing to work on, just like monogamy.
There are downsides to polygamous arrangements that come from just the arrangement rather than out ideas about it. You really need to be in charge of your emotions, as much, if not more so, than people who are in long term monogamous relationships. It's very easy to neglect a long-time partner for a newer one because of the intoxication of novelty. (And most of us use "intoxication" as a deciding factor in whom to form and sustain relationships with.) You can also end up on a novelty treadmill, where you cycle rapidly through lots of different partners without connecting deeply with any of them - which is fine, if that's what you want, mind you; I know this works for a lot of people sexually, where they double-team a third partner.
There's also something about the structure of open relationships that attracts, BUT DOESN'T REQUIRE, people with fucked up self-esteem, the sort of people who need regular, strong validation.
ac161 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not cheating if everyone knows the terms of the relationship. People who say "monogamy isn't natural" as an excuse for cheating on someone after already agreeing to the monogamist relationship...that's another thing.
Well cheating is a completely different thing, you'd be angry because of the lie, the lack of communication, the fact that your partner held secrets, not so much about the sex itself I would assume.
No, mainly just the screwing other guys thing. I got my wording wrong because I've been sick the last few days and I'm operating on two halves of brain cells at the moment.
I'm a very jealous and insecure person by nature and would not be able to handle a polygamous relationship. And I certainly wouldn't be able to have two partners. I would have emotion breakdowns every other day wondering if I loved partner A more than partner B and then feeling like shit because I kinda know that I love A more than B and feel that it's unfair that I don't treat A better than B, and B deserves better.
I'm just not built for polygamy in an emotional sense. In any fashion.
But if other people can get along like that, I don't see why they shouldn't.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:20:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a very jealous and insecure person by nature and would not be able to handle a polygamous relationship.
While this may be true, I don't think that not being ok with polygamy makes you jealous and insecure.
Reddit acts like unless you're actively cheering on the dude banging your wife, then you must be deeply insecure and have all sorts of emotional problems.
Reddit acts like unless you're actively cheering on the dude banging your wife, then you must be deeply insecure and have all sorts of emotional problems.
Huh? This is definitely not a widely adopted "reddit stance", for lack of a better term.
Wait, what? You're willing to accept that other people might have other preferences? Don't you know this is the Internet?! That's just not allowed!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree the lie doesn't bother me nearly as much as the sex to be honest the lie I could forgive the physical act of affection that we reserved for each other and that now you gave away to some other guy is the thing that makes it easy for me to just switch off all emotions for the cheater in question.
Has your partner ever done something in their own that they really enjoy? Developed a new skill, attended an activity, etc? When they got home did you feel jealous they had a good time without you or were you happy they had a good time even if you couldn't be involved.
As far as multiple partners, do you feel that stressed out about multiple platonic loves in your life too? Do you feel guilty that you like a parent more than another or that you're closer to one friend or sibling than another?
Right! If you're comfortable with it, do it! But for most people, it's not "socially acceptable" in the least.
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont think you understood as well as you think you did. "I wouldnt do it" is not the same as "socially acceptable". Socially acceptable implies judging other people for doing it, society judging you for it, something the above poster (and you for that matter) seem to imply to not do.
The commenter said "But if other consenting adults want to do it, who gives a fuck? More power to them." which kind of implies that she/he finds it socially acceptable and is free of judgement of it.
I mean, as long as they don't have kids, I see no problem.
Asmor ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:16:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be able to cheat on someone
While it's still possible to cheat in an open relationship, sleeping with or having relationships with others is not cheating.
Cheating, whether in a monogamous or poly relationship, is when you violate your partner's trust. And that's something that every relationship needs to have worked out on its own.
If your relationship's open, you might have rules about using protection, letting your partner know, maybe your partner wants to meet your potential suitors first, etc.
But even in a supposedly monogamous relationship, there's still no one-size fits all answer. Is looking at other people ok? Flirting? Maybe you're even allowed to fool around with other people as long as you don't form an emotional attachment.
TL;DR: Cheating is when you violate the relationship's trust, and what that means is different for every relationship.
zeuther ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:46:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the whole concept of an open relationship more so than a polygamous relationship. polygamy in /my/ opinion is completely devoting yourself to multiple people. where as an open relationship is more so being able to have the freedom to do what is only human to us, but only as long as at the end of the day you know who you really love.
and then that feeds into the conversation of knowing what love sex is and what simple sex is.
edit: it's also about being very open and communicating with one another on what's okay and what's not with your SO
Yeah, I get this. People should be able to do whatever within a relationship as long as it's discussed and understood by everyone involved. That being said, I'm not personally interested in the idea but it would be irrational to stop anybody else doing it.
Aryada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My issue with your way of thinking is that you think it's all about sex. It isn't. I'm polyamorous but am often in monogamous relationships. I meet a mono guy and they are TOTALLY dtf other chicks, but no...that is not at all what poly is. If I trusted them to not go out and fuck every willing chick, it could work. But it wouldn't work to be "poly" with a mono person. Also, it isn't swinging. To me, it's about having the ability and freedom to start relationships with other people that could potentially turn sexual.
No one I know has any problem with the practice, except in the same way they have a problem with veganism or rescue fostering. Just tired of hearing the people who do it talk about it at every opportunity.
But veganism isn't illegal or seen as inherently wrong by most of society. Also where do you live where polyamory comes up so frequently in conversation? Not accusing you of lying I'm genuinely curious.
Interesting, I didn't know there was a big overlap with hippies and larpers xD, but I can see how such a liberal area might have more open discussion about polyamory then what I'm used to.
I think just about every single person I know is in an exclusive relationship, or married. And the only poly people I know talk about it at every opportunity no matter the company.
It may very well be that some of those exclusive/marriage relationships are less monogamous than you think. That is, you might know some poly people who you have no idea are poly because they never mention it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:17:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:04:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every person that is single. Every INDIVIDUAL person was the intention I think.
What is the legal difficulty here? You get business unions between a group of companies, you get political unions between a group of countries or states. Why is a marital union between a group of people so difficult?
I'm sure corporate and political unions had their fair share of opportunities for abuse too, but they work through them anyway because the result is worth it.
Aryada ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:05:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I've said before, the U.S. military would go broke.
I actually agree with you there. While I support people having equal opportunity to marry, I'm not a big fan of marriage at all. And I definitely hate how society pushes you into.
Marriage gets you tax breaks, allows you to split health insurance (or any insurance for that matter), visitation rights get established this way, buying a house as an unmarried couple is damn near impossible, you can't share burden of responsibility on various contracts, etc.
And then you get married, and you realize how much easier everything is regarding all this "adult" bullshit. Which makes you despise the fact that marriage is a legal contract that gives you tons of benefits even more.
If 10 people want to abuse legal polygamy for the marriage benefits what exactly is stopping them from just splitting into 5 couples and doing it that way? This is a slippery slope argument and makes no sense.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:46:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I can see how this could be a problem, yes. I live with a different system where most things like that are handled by the government not the employer. I think most polygamists would be more then willing to live with marriage benefits for just one person if it meant their relationship would be recognized by the state and they all got the same hospital visit rights and stuff like that.
Basically it's just a logistical problem that would take some fixing, not a good enough reason to outlaw an entire lifestyle.
I think polygamy would force people to rethink the entire marriage system (in a good way). Marriage grants you a plethora of benefits in the US that you wouldn't otherwise have. Polygamy expands those benefits beyond what the system is made for (the previous commenter was a good example) but there are others.
Maybe people will finally think about these benefits as "universal" that any individual gets, rather than specifically for married individuals.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Right. And unfortunately, polyamory is socially unacceptable (at least in the way I imagine it); however, I feel like people should be ok with others doing this.
That sounds more like polygamy and not so much polyamory (although I dont care for polygamy either). Personally Ive seen first hand what a community looks like with a majority oow birth rate and no monogamy in sight and its not pretty in the least bit.
Honestly, what's the appeal? I thought about it but besides "you get more than one partner" I see no advantage.
It's more expensive, more time consuming, more stressful for jealous types, you're more likely to half ass things due to more partners and it seems like a huge mess when things go south.
Maybe I lack the right mindset or I'm old-fashioned but to me it seems the cons outweigh pros by a metric fuckton.
This is like a straight person saying they don't get the appeal of being gay. ''There's more dicks and less vaginas in the house, who would want that?'' Obviously you can't understand it if that's not how you sway personally. Can't believe I had to explain that.
There can't really be any understanding. Assuming you're a straight guy, how could anyone explain to you why Ryan Gosling turns them on? Or someone with a foot fetish, how do they explain why feet give them boners while everyone else feels nothing? It's not something that can be explained, really.
How are you going to learn to understand how something that doesn't turn you on turns someone else on? It's a primal instinct, not really something that can be explained with words.
Yeah but there is no why, it's just the way they feel in their gut since forever, that's what I'm saying. ''Why do guys turn you on?'' how does that make sense?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:36:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just found themselves in love with more then one person at a time and with enough love to share between them all. They can't choose the number of people they love any more then a gay person can choose the gender of people they love.
You know, I never supported gay rights because of science. I don't care about that. I don't care if being gay is a choice or not, that seems irrelevant to the following question:
Is it any of my business that this guy wants to be gay? No. I supported gay rights because that guy wants to be gay so yay for him.
I pose the same question to myself about polygamy, and I conclude, it's none of my business, I'm happy for them, I shouldn't have the right to challenge what sort of relationship they want to be in. And whether it's a choice or not has nothing to do with it.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're gonna do something with them, right? Have lunch, get jewelry whatever, there's not a lot of stuff that is for free.
If you consider spending time with loved ones a con
I don't. But the day only has 24 hours and besides work and a partner I also have hobbies, seems like time would run out.
Generally, jealous types shouldn't be in poly relationships.
Good point, I agree fully here.
What kind of things do you mean?
Showing appreciation? Gifts? Appointments in general? Feels like focusing on multiple things instead of focusing on one thing would end up in half-assing things. In the end I think it's up to different expectations I guess.
While this is entirely possible, it's not inherently any worse then a regular, monogamous break up.
True. Both things can be ugly, but there's more complicated issues if multiple parties are involved (e.g. three people are together, person A doesn't like person C anymore, but Person B likes both. Person C and A ruin shit for Person B)
It's going to be completely different from person to person
I suppose so, there's different people and different expectations. I can see the appeal of multiple people just hitting it off really well but it never seems to be something long lasting.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:39:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, you have a point I only considered expenses for a single person (I'm the asshole who gifts you shit but gets offended if you gift back). If those cost would be divided I figure it would even out to a point where it's not a significant deal breaker.
Good point about group activities, that would certainly make for more "efficient" time spent and it would be time spent with all so that makes sense.
Can you elaborate on the appreciation? I get it's not a fixed resource but I always fear I'm not showing enough appreciation so having to show multiple people something, which I consider to be occasionally rare from my side seems like a headache.
Mhm, I suppose it's a Risk/Reward thing where you trade potential drama for cool times. And well, you never know who attracts drama, god knows I can't tell it from people's behavior.
I suppose it's just not as common since people seem to not deviate out of standard norms too much. Sure, it's probably not something for everyone, but I'm the last to tell you "You can't because I don't get it".
A shame for those familial obligations, though. You have my sympathy.
It just sounds like Polygamy/amory isn't for you, which isn't a bad thing. But a point to make: after you know someone, it doesn't cost any more than other "friend" relationships if you just hang at their place or vice versa. If it's mostly a variety reason you are with them (some people have the appeal because of a desire for variety in sexual experience but still feel deeper love connections to another) and that's clearly communicated, it doesn't take the same obligations as a relationship. Also, if there is a feeling that you wouldn't be able to adequately show appreciation, appreciate them with your dick!
Because I don't usually skip ahead assuming you've got something below. Why would you be telling me about your polyamorous relationships when I specifically mentioned polygamy? You think all those polygamous women wearing bonnets in southern Utah have jobs? Those women are religious which is part of why they can put up with an arrangement like that. Outside of religion do you think you could ever find a group of 8 women who did it just because they all wanted to share the same man. Most likely it would be genetic and they would be looking to have his kids. Well, you see where that is heading. Some are working, maybe the man works and a few stay home to raise the kids. Yeah, I just don't see that ever working out especially when a divorce happens and the man loses half his income 2 or more times. Just seems like a set up for a legal cluster fuck to me.
It's different for everyone but let me give you some examples where it works really well.
First, it's not about "having more partners", it's about having more varied relationships. You're welcome to be married and have a wife or husband or whomever.
I think about it in terms of friends (as an analogy). If you have a best friend, why should you have other friends? Because each friend provides you with something else. Ever had one of those friends that got super jealous when you hung out with someone else? That's what monogamous relationships look like to me but for MANY people, it's fine. For jealous people, it's perfect.
Let's say you have a best friend (a spouse) but your best friend hates hiking. You LOVE hiking but you love many other things that you do with your best friend. So you may have a hiker friend that you go hiking with every other weekend because that's what you enjoy. Your best friend probably won't be jealous that you're hiking with someone else because your best friend just hates hiking.
And lately, your best friend has been busy which sucks because you love playing CoD with them (on a PC, because PCs are better) and they work late and when they get home, they're just like "Man, I want to hit the hay". Being a good friend, you might make them dinner for when they get home, even draw a bath. However, you love playing CoD and after a couple of weeks you miss it. So you hit up a buddy that you met at the pub and ask him, "Hey man, ever play CoD?", he says yeah, and so you go play CoD at their house for a few hours while your best friend is out. (and no one cares that CoD sucks, I mean, it's YOUR decision!)
But it goes the other way. Ever had one of those stressful weeks where you don't want to do anything but sit on the couch all weekend just to feel better? But then your best friend is bugging you, asking you to go see the movies. So you just tell him, "Why don't you go have a guys night? I think I need a day just to myself". And so he does, and it's okay.
Anyways, I'm sure everyone has a different view on it. I bet half the stuff I just wrote goes against 90% of the /r/polyamory members but Idc. This is just how I see it.
Suppose I should clarify it, when I say partners I mean relationship partners, not sex partners that seems to be a thing in my common tongue that just doesn't translate well in English I guess.
I understand your point but I suppose my counter would be that I don't spend time with my best friend to an amount that is equal to how much time I spend with partners. I get the appeal of having multiple friends for multiple hobbies (which is a thing I practice) but I think it's just different when it comes to partners.
When I'm unhappy with certain things or want to try X then I'll ask my partner if we could give it a try and chances are even if he/she hates it they'll likely give it a try if they value our partnership to a certain degree, I mean I might fucking despise hiking or playing CoD (I suck at shooters) but I know I'll give it a try if an important enough person will ask me to do it with them.
Now if I would do this with multiple people I'd know I'd be drained by the end of the day because I'd never get a second of rest. Relationships are a give and take in my experience and people will want different things in different stages of their life, so I'm sure both points of view make sense.
No, no. I understood perfectly. I'm not a native English speaker either.
When discussing CoD or whatever, I didn't mean sexual acts per se but just about anything you might enjoy that the other person doesn't which is usually reserved for someone you're in a relationship with: whether it's romance, sex, etc.
As far as having your partner try it, sure, they can try it but what do you do when they don't like it but you absolutely love it? Do you repress that part of yourself?
And yeah, both things make sense to people! :)
EDIT: Also had cheating exes which sucked; however, over time, I realized I still had feelings for them and in the end, I realized that their transgressions aren't that big of a deal as long as you establish these rules first.
Belgand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's even more helpful (and much more common) in the BDSM community. Is your kink not your partners? Then that's fine, you'll find someone else who is into it and get to have fun together.
Sometimes it works out at an even more fundamental level. My long-term, live-in girlfriend and I are both dominant. Nothing kinky would work out between us, but instead we have a great, loving vanilla relationship together and do kinky things with other people. Everybody wins!
And when you spend time with a friend and find that you start developing feelings for them? It's suddenly not a big deal. I mean, OK, maybe it is an issue because you don't feel the same way about each other, but there's none of that "but I can only have romantic feelings for one person or there's something wrong with me" going on. You know, like a massive number of sitcom and romantic comedy plots? Simply not an issue any longer.
Polygamy is a problem for modern society. Many of those guys that have 8 wives are on welfare because they can't afford a family that large. That's not acceptable. If you're a multi-millionaire then maybe as long as the kids are getting what they need.
I'm good with this too, as long as it's equal. That TLC show where the guy gets 4 wives but the wives aren't allowed to have more husbands, that's messed up.
I personally can't invest myself in more than one person at a time, and I'd prefer if my partner would respect that and do the same.
But that's just me, I can very clearly understand how someone would want to experience multiple partners while only being emotionally invested in one, or at least a specific few. I just don't think I could personally make it work.
This so much. Having been lusting for other people many times in previous relationships, I'll be making sure my future "lovers" are open to a more sexually liberal relationship. Monogamy has its benefits of course but I need to explore dammit.
Couldn't agree more, love is much more fluent and diverse then being exactly one person for one other person every time. Obviously everything needs to be consensual and discussed in advance, but people should be able to love and live with as many different people as their heart desires.
I think to a larger extent, that we shouldn't impose our viewpoints on relationships on anyone else. Everyone has different preferences and practices, and who am I to judge anyone on that. If your significant other happens to be different in any way, you have to make a choice on whether or not you are okay with it. Just because you're not okay with it, does not make the other person a bad person.
Jules- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sign me up!
Though, I'm one of the lucky ones that my parents individually accepted the way my husband and I live our lives. Its always hilarious when your dad gives your husband dating tips. I love it.
I agree. I think it isn't natural to be with only one person for years and years. I think polyamory and polygamy can help take the boredom out of relationships. It is hard to live with someone for a week let alone 20 or 30 years.
I don't particularly like the idea of having to compete with the most awesome people who exist. Exclusive relationships seem like they'd do better at promoting stability, through commitment. In principle, people can of course be committed to each other even while being in relationships with others. But in practice, I worry there would be tradeoffs, tending to encourage people to have many short lived sexually oriented relationships, and making deep long term relationships rarer.
I don't think it should be taboo or hated, but I'm okay that it is not a social norm. Maybe exceptional people can handle it in a healthy and happiness promoting way. But most of society probably can't IMO.
yeah, but imagine we had NO marriage whatsoever and someone wanted to introduce it. You'd deal with similar horror stories: women being in relationships with abusive partners, men being in fear of divorce due to alimony abuse, sexless marriages, arranged marriages with unhappy people, etc.
We're just used to classifying the bullshit from monogamous marriages differently rather than attributing it to marriage itself.
And do you limit the damage? Because with one partner, the focus is on YOU. That's it. Maybe if one abusive person had several spouses, those spouses could band together to stand up to the abuser.
I think this is fine, as long as you're both in for it. Otherwise it's just being an asshole. I don't see me ever doing this though, I get the feeling that there would always be a #2 in this and if you feel like #2 you're kind of fucked and the relationship is kind of over, you're just in for a bad time if you continue. Playing second fiddle when you were main fiddle before is a killer.
I also think it's something you have to be cool with and then find out whether you're cool with it after the other person is sleeping with someone else and see if you're ok with this situation and especially when the same is not true of you. It's not something you can do from armchair thinking.
Peoples sex life is up to them so I agree with you on that part but more partners you have the more risks you take on getting an STDs. even condoms are not a guarantee that you wont catch anything. At least when you are in a monogamous relationship you and your partner dont risk infection if neither of you are infected.
The jealousy on the other hand... some people cant help it and it would cause more trouble than its worth.
Deako87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you have consent from all parties, best of luck to you.
I personally couldn't do it, I would be a jealous mother fucker.
My house mate is a bit of a man whore and he does this with around 3-4 women at the moment. It's rather impressive actually. All I can do is plead the 5th if any of the girls ask about the other girls.
I'm stuck on the whole polyamory thing. I wouldn't condemn someone for it, but I fucking hate everything about it. Thinking about it upsets me. But like... To each their own. Man I hate when I start thinking about shit I don't think about for a reason. I've never been in a poly relationship, and my only experience with anything close to it was being lied to and fucked over because of one(Effectively, anywho... Long story)so I don't have the most... Unbiased feelings on the matter. And I totally get it, if someone wants to and all partners consent, more power to them, I wish them luck. But something about it just doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck it, folks of reddit who practice(Fuck I hate words I don't know how to use... Practice? Observe? Do?)polyamory... Why? What about it specifically appeals to you? How did you realize that it was what you wanted? If you are(or even were) in a polyamorous relationship, how did you initiate it? Did you? How do you broach that topic with people? I think what makes my feelings of distaste about it weird is that at the same time, in some idyllic form, it seems really... Cute. Adorable like... Somehow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the topic is discussed before additional partners are pursued, I really don't care if someone chooses to be in a relationship with multiple partners. Maintain honest and open communication about it, come to an agreement, and avoid betraying anyone's trust and I have absolutely no problem with it.
This. If one guy and two girls/one girl and two guys/three girls/three guys/any combination of any gender all love each other, who is to say they shouldn't be able to have a public relationship?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I found ludicrous about some of the outrage against gay marriage.
Ooooh, now people can marry multiple people.
Me going, uhm, sure, why not, if it's between consenting adults, who cares.
Then they go BUT BUT, Bestiality!!
And my mind wonders what they don't understand about CONSENTING and ADULTS.
/agree, though just as a matter of discussion, in many poly relationships you are binding yourself to others, and can have exclusivity, just not in a binary relationship (for example, closed triads / quads).
I'm not against people being in not-committal relationships, But I feel like these things (especially polygamy) sound great but in practice are often used as vehicles to exploit people.
On the first part: they ARE being committal just in a different form. As far as the latter one, consider this: marriage was for a long time an oppressive and abusive institution (in many ways, but beneficial in many others). Don't you think our society could learn to be "normal" in polygamous relationships? Of course there will be abusive ones (just like monogamous relationships) but that doesn't mean people shouldn't have a chance at the love they want and feel they deserve.
I'm just saying, from personal experience, I used to be way into polyamory for many years, until at some point I realised that a vast majority of people in that "scene" (myself included) were either deluding themselves into believing that their partner/s were truly committed to them, or were doing it out of a fear/lack of commitment themselves.
If you want to date multiple people fine, this Should not be frowned upon. If you're married and you and your spouse get your jollies by swinging or having threesomes/foursomes/manysomes/ whatever, that's a-ok. But if you're truly committed to someone, as in you've mutually agreed to be in a relationship and you love each other, live together etc you don't ration out your time and affection between someone else. Pick one. Don't be a douche.
I've been wondering if I fall into that category. I've only been in one relationship, but I met her online and the whole thing was long distance. Personally I was okay if she wanted to hookup with other people, as long as there was no emotional attachments. Partly because I'd feel guilty since I couldn't be there for her physically. But at this point it still wouldn't matter to me even if we weren't long distance
But at the same time, I would be devastated if she fell in love with someone else, even if she still loved me too. So I guess it's not really polygamy but still sorta an open relationship? I never actually brought it up though since I didn't want her to think I was cheating on her and trying to justify it or whatever. I also only told one "friend" about it and he was giving me shit and called me a "cuckold" or something, so I avoid bringing it up with people I know too.
In a poly relationship now. Just don't think humans were meant to bind themselves to one person for a lifetime. People are always changing and growing.
Centias ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's becoming more acceptable, but it's a slow process.
Had an interesting discussion with my wife about this once after the topic came up somewhere else. I realized that I could potentially see myself being in a sort of three-way relationship with two women and balance out the caring and attention and intimacy as necessary to make things work, provided the other two also have a connection. As in, it's not just two separate relationships where each of them are only in it for me and getting jealous when the other gets my time and attention. They also have to be in it for each other.
Wife said she couldn't do that because she needs to know she comes first for me, but could actually totally see us having a girlfriend on the side as long as she's in it for both of us and not just one or the other, doesn't try to split us apart, respects that our marriage/relationship comes first, and that she respects our rules for what is allowed/not allowed to happen 1-on-1 when one of us isn't around.
This arrangement may never happen, but if we actually found a girl in the right state of mind for that sort of arrangement, it could.
I actually know a good deal of couples that are that way. And in fact, one of my friends was that girlfriend! It didn't last long (can't remember why) but people are definitely more open about it.
I'd love to know if it ever works out for you that way and if not, that's fine too! :)
Centias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have a long-time friend of mine that has joined us for threesomes before that we discussed the idea about and sort of with, but she lives 4 hours away and she probably wouldn't have been ideal for such an arrangement. She has a boyfriend now, anyway.
It's not like a goal we are aiming for, but if we find some awesome chick we are both into and things work out that way, it could happen.
Same here. People aren't meant to be shackled to one person. Having an open relationship is necessary. My wife and I are of the mind that if we come home and say we had sex with someone, we just ask if it was awesome.
Where's the concern about what diseases the other is possibly bringing home? Or about her ending up pregnant (assuming you plan to keep it) - not knowing if it was you or some other man who did the impregnating? How can you and your wife be safe with so much exposure to negative consequences that will theoretically be shared with the other partner? And if there is no desire for fidelity, why get married in the first place (i.e., what benefits does a marriage bring if you acknowledge that neither will be faithful and further, believe that you aren't meant to be with one person? Why "tie down" that person in any sense through a legal commitment, then?)?
Where's the concern about what diseases the other is possibly bringing home? Or about her ending up pregnant (assuming you plan to keep it) - not knowing if it was you or some other man who did the impregnating?
We aren't stupidly fucking strangers in alleyways. We use protection. We also don't have sex with people we don't know well.
How can you and your wife be safe with so much exposure to negative consequences that will theoretically be shared with the other partner?
This is too vague to answer clearly, but I assume you mean to ask how it might affect the third party. Again, only people we know and trust.
And if there is no desire for fidelity, why get married in the first place?
There will always be loyalty between us. We will never take a lover's side over each other's. But being allowed to escape from a routine is something everyone should be allowed to do. With jobs, with locations, and yes, with romance. It keeps us together because we don't get tired of each other. Going on five years now. Are you going to argue with that?
Uhhhh. Ok. Because "protection" is a known guarantee against pregnancy/disease. Sure. Doesn't matter if you are/aren't "stupidly fucking strangers"; you're still exposing yourself to a whole WIDE range of disease. And no sex with "people we don't know well"? Because only those you know closely are clean?
But sure, if it works for you. That whole "escape from a routine" doesn't make any lick of sense to me; I'd never willingly venture into something I felt the need to regularly escape from in the first place.
kelustu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:13:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do you, but that shit just never works well.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:00:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touchy situation, but probably shouldn't be as taboo as it is. My aunt remarried when she had 3 kids and the guy she married had 3 kids. Most of the time the kids haven't even lived in the same house because his kids spend a lot of time at their mother's place. A couple of the kids got pretty close and romantically interested and the parents freaked out. These kids are not related and don't usually live in the same house. What's the big deal?
The trouble is that it complicates the family relationship. You should be able to have a brother/sister relationship and not have to worry about sex getting in the way. If you don't want to have a sexual relationship anymore, you don't want breaking up to be a problem for the sibling relationship. And you don't want any of the brothers and sisters to have favorites based on sex or to have to compete for each other's favor by using or withholding sex. It's not about biology or religion, just basic strong family dynamics versus extra drama.
It probably depends on their age when they meet. If they're raised together from like, 5? Weird. If they're both like 14 or over? Shit, I'd probably expect it then.
I think it depends on the situation. I don't think someone suddenly becomes your family just because two other people married eachother. On the other hand, I think someone can be a part of your family without sharing any blood.
For example, I have step sisters on both sides of my family. I was raised with the maternal step sisters and to me they are more my family than anyone in the world, so that puts them off-limits. But I hardly know my paternal step sister, so I think that would be completely okay if we were both attracted to each other (we're not, but hypothetically).
If sex trafficking weren't an issue here I would agree with you 100%.
Edit: For everyone saying that legalizing prostitution magically makes sex trafficking go away, look at Venezuela. If we're going to legalize prostitution we need to enforce clear anti-trafficking regulation.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention that regulation can provide stronger protection for prostitutes and customers, such as by requiring regular STD checks, use of protection, having protocols to deal with abusive customers (which is a little hard if the prostitute is also breaking the law), and making it easier to investigate suspicions of trafficking (eg, if prostitution requires registering with the state by providing proof of age, identity, etc).
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:51:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Countries with legal prostitution often still have major problems with human trafficking. It really isn't a job someone will just willingly pick. Even if they are doing it by choice, there are probably circumstances forcing them into it.
Which, like drug crime, probably wouldn't be as much of a problem if it were legal. Why kidnap people and endanger your business when you can just properly hire people?
Very interesting paper. It seems that in a sense, /u/CoffeeAndKarma isn't entirely wrong, since the paper mentions that non-trafficked prostitutes were preferred (which it calls the substitution effect) and part of what /u/CoffeeAndKarma is saying is that substitution effect. But the problem was that the increased market for prostitution happens to benefit the traffickers (which the paper calls the scale effect).
I wonder if that could be something that could be effected by:
Time. If prostitution becomes more accepted and more people enter the business, could they substitute the trafficked prostitutes to the point where trafficking eventually declines? I wonder if the results of this study would change over time.
Enforcement. Could stricter regulation on prostitution reduce trafficking? This is a iffy thing since it's also not clear what this regulation would take the form of.
Legalization in other countries. I wonder if the demand would reduce (and thus the scale effect that the paper mentions) if there was no reason for "sex tourism", which would presumably be the case if people's home countries also legalized prostitution.
And on that note, I wonder if this actually increases trafficking as a whole or if it's just causing trafficking to focus on certain countries. If it's the latter, then legalization in most of the world would presumably reduce/remove this effect.
Of course, there's also the topic of whether the higher rates of trafficking are a good reason to keep prostitution illegal, something that the paper briefly touches on in the conclusion, but that's not what you're talking about.
With regards to your first point, I'd point out that prostitution has never been a crime in the Netherlands (though brothels were illegal until 2000), and yet that country is still one of the top human trafficking destinations. With regards to your second point, there's a tiered system which ranks countries by how well they comply with the Trafficking Victims Protection Act, and most of the top trafficking destinations are tier 1 (meaning full compliance) with a few at tier 2 (meaning they're actively working toward full compliance), so I doubt stricter regulation is the solution.
The problem with statistical analysis like this is that they almost always use the data of all forms of human trafficking (including voluntary) while you actually need the number of involuntary cases which of course is hard to come by. Strictly speaking all those numbers are guesses.
Its also a question how you define voluntary. Is a woman who pays a debt to the people who brought her in and keep her hidden from the authorities for being illegal in a country involuntary even though she isn't held against her will and could leave as she chooses?
If you look at the countries who are the most seek out destinations you just see a list of the wealthiest nations of the world plus Thailand no matter the prostitution legal status. Also rich European nations have in general mostly legalized prostitution.
Pretty much my stance. No matter how much she seems to love her job, there's a pretty good chance your favorite escort is a sex slave in a situation from which she has virtually no exit.
That's regional. Do remember that not everyone on the internet lives in your area. In some countries it's legal and regulated and in others it's decriminalized.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a box of my favourite birthday/christmas cards from my friends. They're great to look at if I'm having a crappy day. I also still have all the cards I was given by kids when I left the school I was working at 4 years ago.
Drinking alone.
I don't understand why drinking without another person in the room is often considered NECESSARILY indicative of a problem, and is used as a clinical indicator of alcohol problems. Sometimes when no one's home but me at the end of a long day, a nice sunset setting in my window and no one else's motherfucking problems to fix, well that's exactly when imma wantin' summa wine. If it's wrong I don't wanna be right. Anyway, the dogs are home.
If a woman unilaterally assaults a man (i.e. is the primary aggressor in a physical altercation), I believe it is OK for the man to defend himself physically.
I would warn anyone to back off before I beat the shit out of them be it men or women. No one has the right to hit me unless its something sexual. If its sexual I'd just let them proceed.
I hate people who justify violence against a guy across the board or if he was cheating/being inconsiderate/etc. It isn't right period.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:15:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The consumption of horses. My SO and I got into an argument about it but honestly I still don't see the problem.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:12:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds of those pics of a chinese(?) Event where they cooked and ate dogs. Everyone was all like "oh my god fuck those savages for eating dogs, they should be killed."
If its a custom to eat dogs in asia then so be it, thats their choice. We eat cows and those are sacred in other countries. Are we savages because we eat cows and other people dont agree with our choice of food?
Minus the kidnapping part, we eat meat that's pretty much tortured when it's alive. I mean, pigs, cows, and chickens go through some hellish environments before being cut up, we're not exactly better about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of times they do, but not all do and there is awareness about it here. They are killed quickly, too. In China, animals literally aren't viewed as sentient. They are thought of like plants, unable to feel physically and emotionally. Then they are killed in excruciating and slow manner.
There is awareness, but most still continue to eat meat just like they always have so it's not exactly better, I'd argue that it's worse to continue doing something you know is wrong than it is to do something you don't know is wrong. Also, it's only slightly quicker because they're fed growth hormones to speed up their growth which also leads to more torture and deformities so again, not better.
Oh very much so and people shouldn't be standing on a soap box about how wrong something is when they've chosen to do that very same thing in an area where it's socially acceptable.
What many people don't seem to understand is that eating dogs does not equal to the people hunting pet dogs to be eaten. Just because they eat a pet animal does not mean they will hunt down pets and eat them.
the answer is yes we are all savages, get over it and wrench some flesh from dem bones
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem is that people can't understand the concept of raising such an animal for consumption only. As long as all the well being, sanitary and desensitizing norms are applied whatever meat you eat is the same.
Would you have a problem with eating humans bred for consumption? Some animals are placed higher in a hierarchy by different societies, and eating them is a violation of social norms.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that, that's the point of the thread, and breeding humans for consumption is an entirely different ball game.
As a woman, I don't find the natural hair that grows all over my body disgusting. Unless I have a SO or a social event which I must show my legs or armpits then I find no reason to shave.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 17:36:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy with insanely hairy legs I wish it would be acceptable for me to have smooth legs...
Cyclists commonly shave their legs. Not for aerodynamic improvements as is a common misbelief, but rather for getting massages after. This way they don't get the gel stuck in their leg hairs and that doesn't cause pain when trying to get it out.
I've grown to see nothing wrong with men shaving legs for whatever reason.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just do it and say youre a swimmer and its good for your speed. aerodynamically.
As a guy with insanely hairy legs, I can't even wear jeans or long socks without shaving because my legs will itch all day otherwise. So I never wear jeans or long socks. Then in the (60 degree) winter people think I'm insane for wearing shorts. You just can't win...
I have no problem with women being hairy, I personally feel more physically comfortable with shaved underarms, that is my preference for myself - however I really don't care if someone else is hairy, it's their body and as long as they don't stink it really doesn't affect me what they do with it.
The problem lies in creating a scene, particularly if your job requires that you maintain a proper image, so to speak. Just because someone feels forced into altering their appearance to fit/avoid altercations in doesn't mean they have to agree with it too.
Me too! I LOVE a close shave and being hairless and honestly, if I could snap my fingers and have 100% of my body hair just stop growing, I would, BUT: I don't feel disgusted when I have hairy legs, I don't freak out and act like the world is ending like men do when they see a little hair on a woman's body.
I recently grew out my armpit hair because I didn't have a razor and shockingly, my world didn't implode. It was awesome not to go through the hassle when showering.
Now I'm a hairless goddess again that I've got my razor, but there's nothing wrong with being a hairy goddess if that's what you want, for god's sake.
I've always shaved my armpits but besides that it's not worth the bother to do it all the time. When it starts getting hot enough for swimming in the summer I'll get a can of hair removal cream and do my entire legs once, and then sort of maintain it, if I don't get too lazy, through the summer. Main reasons being i get less weird looks and it's faster to dry off after getting out of the water when you're hairless. I don't shave in pants weathers. It's so not worth it.
In my late teens I worried about it a lot, figuring people would think I'm gross and not want to be with me if I hadn't shaved. And then I discovered that when you take off your clothes, the person you're with is not usually focused on how lately you shaved your legs. Or if they are grossed out, they are not worth sleeping with anyways.
Really? Well you're lucky. Most of the guys I know, as nice as they are, would probably find it disgusting to find out a woman doesn't shave. It's so shallow and ridiculous and I wish there wasn't such a huge phobia against women with... body hair.
Hmm well I've heard that guys are more grossed out my armpit hair than leg hair, and it depends on colour and thickness of the hair. So when these guys are talking about a "girl who doesn't shave" they might be thinking of their worst case scenario. Also, what these guys say theoretically when they are hanging out in a group might not actually be what they practice, but they don't want to be the guy in the group with the "lowest standards".
Also, I'm a bigger girl, so the guys I sleep with are not that picky about how who they sleep with looks(ranging from super shallow just-want-to-get-laid to super deep I-care-more-about-personality), or they actually think I'm super hot in which case they are wayy too turned on to care.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, a woman with hairy legs and armpits doesn't really affect my attraction towards her. But if I were to openly admit that in public, I think people would judge me adversely.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would hazard a guess and say that guys don't find your mustache attractive. Just saying.
chili01 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:01:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non-violent disciplining your misbehaving child in public.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:11:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when my kid is being mouthy or not listening and I get shitty looks just for raising my voice (not yelling but taking it up a notch) or getting close and growling/commanding. My kids count on the fact that disciplining them in public can be an embarrassing situation and they sometimes take advantage of it to act out. I'm not about to beat my kid in Walmart (or anywhere else) but I'm not going to let him act foolishly if I can help it, either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or actually spanking your child, in public or not.
It makes people uncomfortable for the same reason any confrontation makes people uncomfortable, plus the worry that they might be/ be about to witness abuse.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:32:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally everything that isn't harmful.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is "harmful" is so vague, though, and that's the problem.
Some people would be mentally "harmed" by seeing a woman breast feeding her kid in public.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a case like that I'd say it's only "harmful" because it's socially unacceptable in the first place. Plus unless they're getting in your face with it I figure you could just look away from it if it bothers you.
People who don't "look" disabled being able to park in handicapped parking spots. People get really pissy when people not in wheelchairs or with broken legs park there. I've even seen news spots where they accost people who don't look disabled after parking there.
Guess what, some people have asthma, arthritis, or many other conditions that aren't visible that cause them to need to park there. If they have a sticker, leave them alone and assume they have a right to park there. Don't make them explain their health conditions to you because it is none of your goddamn business.
Lol uh, there's a much bigger stigma towards people who wait for marriage than those who don't.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:26:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so strange that this is not even part of my world image. I have met people who are against sex before marriage but in any situation they would and will be considered extremely odd.
Tomus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never met a single person who is against sex before marriage, it's strange how people have different taboos.
Thats the point, religious people are still majority not only in US... Just few countries are the flaw and not the rule...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok saw this and felt the need to share this what if scenario: you get married after a few years of dating, finally plugging in the old Johnson, and you find out after a few minutes that the two of you are totally sexually incompatible??? That sounds awful. Sure, you can cry out to your conservative Christian god that "oh no! There's so much more to a relationship than sex!" In which case, you're right, sex is just one piece of the puzzle. But who the hell sits back and admires an incomplete puzzle??? Bottom line, you should find out if your sexually compatible with a person before signing away your life to the bastard.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:23:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I'll bite.
My wife and I both abstained until marriage. Before I got married, I heard this argument (what if you're not sexually compatible?) a lot, and it never made much sense to me. How were we not going to be "compatible"? If she hadn't been a straight human female, I wouldn't have married her. If we hadn't been attracted to each other, we wouldn't have married each other.
The first few times we had sex it was...poorly executed, but eventually we figured out what worked for us, because of course we did. I find quite silly the notion that two people who like each other and are attracted to each other and committed to each other won't be able to figure out a way to make sexual relations enjoyable.
Well what ive always thought of this is differences in sex drive. If one person wants to have sex a lot, and the other only wants it occasionally or not at all, it could cause a lot of problems. Not neccessarily insurmountable, but very difficult to reconcile
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would be an issue, but to some extent you can discuss it before you get married.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We did premarital counseling before we got married; we were encouraged to discuss our expectations regarding sex. People have different expectations and assumptions regarding frequency, etc., so it's a good idea to talk about that beforehand. Just because you haven't had sex doesn't mean you aren't aware of your sex drive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Understood, there are many factors that can be overlooked however. Fetishes or other bedroom desires that could be turn offs for the other member.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but these are things we can explore together. If I have a particular fetish or bedroom desire that my wife doesn't like, it's probably not going to happen very often, and that's fine.
aqouta ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:32:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incompatible how? Is her vagina metric and his dick customary?
For example, when their sexual preferences barely overlap.
aqouta ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are virgins they don't have sexual preferences, they get to discover them together.
Tomus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is just plain wrong.
Imagine you and a friend have never listened to music before and you decide "ok, let's discover music together", do you think it's entirely impossible to both disagree on which music you like?
aqouta ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh come on it's not like blood types, baring health issues any two people who love each other can have a good time in the bed. It's not like they have fetishes.
Nope. Been there, done that. It is possible to love each other and have very different sexual expectations and preferences despite both being heterosexual. If it worked out for you, then that's great. But it does not work out for every couple.
EDIT: For clarification, I consider a couple sexually incompatible when at least one party has sexual desires which s/he deems essential but the other party denies to live out this desire.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you spoiled avocado! Have you ever heard of things such as fetishes? How's about desire of speed, or hardness of core?? What if you marry and discover your partner can't get aroused unless you fire a flare gun up your arse??? These are details you should not overlook my dear man!
aqouta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
things like fetishes are probably pretty rare in virgin and should be discussed before getting married, if you can't get off without a flare gun in your ass it's something that would come up before the big day. Speed is something two adults can figure out and will hardly make satisfying sex impossible.
Dont get me wrong, the question was clear, socially unacceptable is not synonymous of not happening....its even more clear when childs of religious parents get pregnant before wedding....cof Paling cof....
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:29:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Hit them just as hard as you would a man- don't be sexist! Seriously, though- women do awful things too. Women rape, women kill- it's just not as publicized as males. ANYONE can be a bad person, regardless of gender.
pagirl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:51:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crossing my arms. It is comfortable, and I don't know what to with my silly arms. I really don't want to be confrontational though.
Jokes. As in offensive jokes. I love sexist, racist, offensive, etc jokes. There are limits, as I wouldn't say a rape joke to a rape victim, but I love anything offensive. And I definitely love it when someone says a joke I'd find offensive.
I hate racism/sexism, but love jokes about it. IDK why.
You have no way of knowing anything when you joke. Make a momma joke? Their mom might be dead. Dead babby joke? They may have lost a baby. I don't believe in holding back because anyone could be anything.
I was just pointing that out because you specifically mentioned wouldn't say a rape joke to a rape victim - which could be anyone, even your best bro. cheers
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes this!
I got called a racist before because I said I wasn't sexually attracted to certain races. I'm the least racist person I know!
Just because I'm not sexually attracted to a race doesn't mean I wish them harm, or to not have the same rights as me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people criticizing others for being attracted to certain characteristics. Like, personally, I don't find girls with really short "guy" haircuts attractive. It doesn't effect the way I treat them in any way and I don't feel like I can help it any more than a homosexual can. In my opinion, people are attracted to what they are attracted to, and that goes far past gender.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point being, though, what's wrong with me saying that? I'm not passing judgement, hear stating my personal preferences. It's okay for a guy to say he doesn't like blondes or redheads, so why not black people or Asians?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's your right. Totally valid. We have a distinct set of features that is possible to find unattractive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:03 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet me stating my personal preference that happens to exclude white people is downvoted. Which is basically evidence that the same whites that make and upvote comments like yours get butthurt when it's applied towards them. :)
Not liking someone isn't the same as not being attracted to them. I can generally like black people or asians and be friends with them without being physically attracted to them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual attraction is completely different from wanting a group or race of people to not have equal rights, or to hate them as people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it depends. Are you being honest because you're trying to help someone, or just because you want to be a dick. People are usually offended at the latter.
dHoser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolute statements are easy targets. Real life is always more complex.
"Your baby is ugly."
"Your mother is dying." (to a child)
"The dinner you made was terrible, honey. Can we have anal sex now?"
Breast feeding in public. Babies gotta eat, y'all. So you're gonna treat that mother in the booth over there like she's a second class citizen and ask her to go somewhere else to provide her child nourishment because your 10-year-old boy's virgin eyes can't handle it. News flash, lady, he's already seen boobs. I promise. If not when YOU breastfed him, then on the internet. They're just boobs. And what she's doing across the room is not only natural, but beautiful.
I disagree. Shitting on the side walk is unsanitary, messy, and disturbs other people. I just think breastfeeding shouldn't bother anyone else. A mother doesn't leave a mess after she's done like shitting on the sidewalk would.
Not directly though. No one is directly affected by another person breastfeeding. There is no chance that that woman's breast or breastmilk will come in contact with you. Shit on the sidewalk, on the other hand, is a different story.
If you are bothered by breasts in public, that is a matter of opinion. However, I don't know anyone that wouldn't be bothered by shit on the sidewalk.
You also have to be looking pretty damn hard to see anything when a woman is breastfeeding. Most women cover up in public, and if not, the baby usually covers everything.
What about urine on the street? who would be affected by it? It would eventually be washed away by water or evaporate or something. And if you have to go and there's no bathroom near by you have to do it.
... How? Taking a shit on the sidewalk can lead to serious health risks for those around you. Breastfeeding... doesn't. It's two completely different things.
The 'dates' iv'e had with prostitutes have been super pleasant because all cards are on the table. Both parties are usually up front about what they expect from the time they intend to spend together. Then, consider people who use sex as leverage in a traditional relationship or people who wont fuck on a date unless some unspecified amount of money was spent on the nights entertainment and food.
Prostitution. I don't understand why almost everyone gets so worked up about prostitution.
Setting aside the immorality of prostitution for a minute, most prostitutes are not even doing so out of their own free will.
Toadxx ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:25:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For those that are doing it put of free will, how is it immoral? People like sex. People like money.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's immoral because most people in the sex industry are slaves. Another large portion of them are there because society has failed them and this is the only way they can survive.
The amount of prostitutes that do it by choice and had alternative options available to them is a pretty slim.
I'd say in this day and age prostitution is immoral because being a client makes you pretty immoral. You're likely sleeping with a slave or a socially damaged individual. You just can't know. Hell I'm sure I would have been with plenty of prostitutes when I was younger if I could somehow magically know their situation. I don't promote slavery and torture.
Toadxx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:17:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Valid points, other than the fact that I specified those that are doing it of free will.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except a client can't know if they are doing it of free will. Which is the point I was making.
Thus making it immoral for the clients. I don't believe the prostitute has done anything wrong in any case.
If we lived in a magical world where there where all prostitutes were there by choice then sure.
Sweatshop Nikes vs Prostitute morality circlejerk......OK GO!!!!
Toadxx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the argument you should be trying to make, is that those who hire prostitutes are immoral. It would work better than trying to argue that prostitution itself is immoral.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol who the hell is downvoting this?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
zudomo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:12:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Making it legal would set aside all the fears for immorality and sex slavery.
It would make it so much harder to force women into this because now they can go the cops and be protected under law from unsafe working conditions (which would be established upon making it legal).
The threat to the community (i.e. pimps, illegal activities, spread of disease) would be nearly abolished due to strict standards of testing and enforcement of safe practices.
EDIT: I wrote the above, under the assumption that the immorality came from a fear/responsibility of spreading disease within a community. I understand your belief may just be "don't pay for sex" but I feel morality is only a thing on where there is a victim to an action. Making it legal removes victims.
I wrote the above, under the assumption that the immorality came from a fear/responsibility of spreading disease within a community.
No, prostitution is just objectively immoral. The ends of sex are procreation and unity of spouses -- and a prostitute is never going to be your spouse. While you might say sex can and should be enjoyed for pleasure's sake -- why does that pleasure exist? Firstly, to encourage procreation between a man and a woman -- and such procreation is only proper in a permanent and stable union (marriage). Secondly, to unite the spouses, bringing them closer together in intimacy -- such unity and intimacy being useful to the permanence of their union. Moreover, sex naturally brings about a sense of attachment in both men and women, but especially in women -- again pointing to sex having a final cause dealing with unity.
but I feel morality is only a thing on where there is a victim to an action. Making it legal removes victims.
This would still be false. For prostitution naturally hurts the prostitute and his or her "customer" as it is so contrary to their good. I mean, a man chopping off his own leg for a political statement has "no victims" in the same sense as prostitution -- since all parties are consenting -- but that does not stop such an act from being contrary to his good, the functioning of his legs, and thus also the reason he is imbued with and the nature he has.
If a man chooses to become addicted to a drug or commit suicide out of depression, his actions have no "victims" who did not "consent" -- however, each action would be contrary to his good. Indeed, since such actions are so contrary to his good, we can know that, if his reasonable capacities were functioning as they should, he would not commit either act -- and thus he can truly consent to neither. Prostitution is no different -- for if the parties were truly aware of the damage they do to themselves and others (especially when tearing apart families or marriages), then they would never give their consent. Thus, the act cannot actually be consented to reasonably.
How on Earth did you get that off what I posted? I said and will continue to say that sex is good, indeed, very good -- bringing about unity among spouses and even new life. However, it needs its proper context, which is found in marriage. Again, what is the purpose, the end, or the final cause of sex? The pleasure is good, but it's not the reason for sex.
Also, procreation and spouses only?
Yes, sexual acts should be ordered towards procreation and between spouses. This does not mean procreation must occur, however.
So people eho don't want to get married
People who aren't married should not be having sex, correct.
or have kids can never have sex?
An infertile or elderly couple can still order their sexual relations towards procreation. Thus, sexual intercourse is perfectly legitimate for a married 90-year man and woman.
Look at the puritanical little tyrant who wants to shame people for having sex outside of marriage. By your warped views, the vast majority of people are highly immoral because they had sex with another consenting adult they weren't married to. In your honor, I will have a hook-up tonight on both grindr and tindr and pray to Jesus thanking him for your inspiration to have fun. Thank you.
zudomo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moreover, sex naturally brings about a sense of attachment in both men and women
This is the second reason you provide for having sex (aside from having children) and this is an important one as this bond can be achieved out of wedlock or with a homosexual relationship (I get the feeling you're against those too) and prostitution. Many prostitutes/escorts have regulars.
No, prostitution is just objectively immoral.
Morality is never objective. It's always subjective. It's at the whim of whatever the culture believes to be right.
Victimization
I understand your point but I should clarify mine then. There is no external victim.
People are allowed and should be allowed to make the choices that they deem best for themselves as long as the consequences do not hinder or infringe upon other's rights.
The examples you provided above are willful participants and are willfully accepting of any of the consequences that may be incurred to themselves but do no harm to others.
Does it not workout and can it be a regret and damaging in the long term? Sure. But we all have regrets. We all make choices we believe to be right at the time or do what we need to do. It isn't up for others to decide.
"It may be a mistake, but it's our mistake to make" - type deal
apinc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How many prostitutes have you talked to exactly?
I have talked to scores of them. Virtually every single one treated it as a job. None of them ever even hinted at trafficking. In fact several of them had had family call when I was talking to them and they would just answer "I'm at work. I'll call you later". Dozens of them have even given me their other number so they can meet up with me directly, away from the agency.
The ones you see on all these documentaries are probably the only ones actually being trafficked and forced into it.
Valiade ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it were legal a lot more prostitutes would be so of their own will.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few more, not a lot. It's not an appealing job. If it were legal, most of the legal ones doing it on their own will would be doing it because of lack of options and need for money, just like many illegal ones do now.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:41:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well said, CatholicAlternate.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most prostitutes are not even doing so out of their own free will
Socks with Sandals. If I wear shoes my feet sweat, regardless of the weather so I like to be in socks or barefoot nearly all the time. When I get home, first thing I do is kick off my shoes.
Walking outside or into the back garden, around the patio isn't suitable with socks as you'll ruin them, shoes are too warm, sandals aren't comfortable enough like socks are, they stick to my sweaty feet. So socks with sandals would be a perfect solution, except that it is so socially unacceptable that I never do it unless subjecting myself to all sorts of ridicule from siblings and anyone else in the vicinity.
So instead I just walk around barefoot like a hippy, soles of my feet turning calloused and black with wear and dirt. For some reason hobo feet are fine.
Whenever I see a German tourist with his cargo shorts and socks with sandals, I think "Damn that lucky bastard and his comfortable attire. What a modern and accepting culture he must live in."
If you come into my house after a long day of working or walking, go ahead and put your feet up on my table. To consider that rude would be to consider it rude for you to feel comfortable in my home. And it's only considered unacceptable because way back in ancient times showing someone the soles of your feet meant you thought they were below you or something stupid like that. Idiotic convention that needs to die so working people can relax their feet in confidence.
We're not all pharaoh of Egypt being able to afford footstools and all that fanciness. Some of us just have a simple sofa, a plain table in front and then the TV in front of that.
I think it depends. I would prefer that someone not put dirty shoes, socks, or feet on my table, regardless of whether it was a coffee table or kitchen table. But if they are reasonably clean I probably wouldn't care, as long as the table was made well enough to support the weight.
Unless you are wearing brand new shoes, there are things on the bottom of your shoes and unless you have just gotten out of the shower, feet are dirty and gross. I couldn't care less about seeing the bottom of someone's feet, but feet don't belong up on a table, at least in my home.
Cursing heavily in general conversation is considered normal and just in my culture but only really in my culture. But I still do it in countries where it's not accepted.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:34:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't get that. In movies the actor/actress generally portrays a normal person, who swears a bunch and the audience is cool with it. But if anyone acts like that in general society, people immediately think that guy has myriad of problems.
If swearing becomes acceptable then it's not swearing anymore. I like my swearing to have an impact. Also, if you swear frequently in conversation it shows lack of vocabulary which can be construed as a lack of intelligence.
pomporn ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who think like that are just pricks. "A lack of vocabulary"? The only way to appease those people seems to be cramming a wide variety of words into every sentence to demonstrate how many you know. Fuck that.
I get that response a lot, and normally they are incredibly snooty about it, so I like to respond by asking "Do you think 'vernacular' and 'vocabulary' are the same thing?". I can't remember one of them ever having a response to that.
One is the group of words I choose to use, and the other is all the words that I know.
Ironically enough, most of the people I've ever heard make that "lack of vocabulary" argument are the ones that have the hardest time rewording a sentence using other synonyms.
If you don't care that you sound less intelligent that's fine. I'm sure your friends and family know what you're mentally capable of. But if you meet a stranger and use the words fuck and shit three times in every sentence you're going to sound dumb. That's just the way it is.
It's sounds like you really care what other people think about you but don't want to do anything about it. It's either one or the other my friend. It's like the teenager who has a blue mohawk and get's mad when people treat him like a street punk.
I'm not at all like the person you are describing, but I find it funny that you don't see the logical fallacy inherent in your argument that word choice is in any way indicative of mental capacity. That is a stereotype that is seriously ingrained in you, obviously.
I normally consider a person who cannot express his/her feelings without resorting to curse words as uneducated and simply rude.
I will not hate you, simply take whatever you say with a grain of salt.
See that's the difference in countries like mine (Ireland) compared to others, we're not using curse words to express our feelings when in conversation. Curse words when used in conversation aren't considered to be vulgar but as normal as any other word and it certainly doesn't make us uneducated or rude as it's just the norm for the majority.
It's an interesting social dilemma. My preferred salutation is hugs. But I've come across people who are recovering sexual abuse/assault victims, and had to apologize before.
I usually let people make the first move or see if someone that knows them slightly better hugs.
BeeCDN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:50:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not giving gifts for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries....any occasion.
I basically hate gift-giving as an obligation. I much prefer to buy someone a gift regardless of the time of year providing a)I like them enough to even be getting them a gift in the first place, b)I think they'll like it and c)I can afford it at that time.
My mum has a fit pretty much every time a traditional gift-giving occasion rolls around because I more often than not haven't got her or my dad anything. Now, my parents don't especially like me very much and they're quite happy to show that fact. So is it any wonder that I resent having her demand presents from me just because tradition dictates it? My closest friends, on the other hand, never expect/demand anything from me and I like to surprise them at different times with things for them or their kids, just because I feel like it.
It's just a very odd culture as far as I'm concerned. "Congratulations! You didn't die this year. Have this poorly thought out gift that I didn't even want to get you but felt pressured into getting you because we share blood without sharing any actual closeness in our relationship. We'll now continue to have cold, sporadic exchanges online until your next birthday when I get to spend more money I don't want have on you."
I also hate the "you got me something so I have to get you something" attitude. I undermines the whole point of gifting for me.
I know the feeling. When I find something I can afford and I think they'll like, I'll get the right person the right thing. I'm terrible when it comes to Christmas/Birthday/Anniversaries.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I support the legalisation of prostitution in the same way I support the legalisation of weed--if given the choice, most people will choose the safer, more legal option. Even if it wasn't legalised, jailing prostitutes is one of the most immoral things the government does. Instead, the police should prosecute the pimps.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly indentured servants. Imagine paid slaves. They get pocket money, but are functionally property rented out by the pimp. That makes it even worse, and makes it even more important to legalise. I think the best system I've seen was in Firefly: companions are a respected class, choose their clients, and can blacklist anyone they want.
Kink, having an open relationship, working literally where ever the fuck you want. My life raises hell on people with good old fashioned middle class families and sensibilities.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some parents seem to regard the choice or circumstance of not having children as unacceptable, and will even ask the couple why they are childless, as if some unspoken universal law of procreation has been violated. Whereas I'm ok with a couples personal choice or circumstance, and would never ask them this.
Gorstag ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racist, sexist, derogatory jokes.
They are a joke. They are not meant to be taken as some literal command to live your life as a racist. They are designed to be awkward, rude, and funny.
And hell you won't remember them in a week anyway.
However, there is the idea that it normalizes and excuses racism, which is a valid point.
At the end of the day, though, if one doesn't have the compassion and maturity to take a joke as a joke, then the problem lies in them, and it will take a lot more than not making jokes to fix that problem.
People need to relax. All things in context. Anything can be venomous if there's malice behind it. Making a black joke or marriage joke isn't inherently hateful and malicious.
Gorstag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making a black joke or marriage joke isn't inherently hateful and malicious.
See that's the thing. It could be black, white, asian, jewish, polish, etc.. In the US we just assume racist joke = black joke which is really part of the whole problem.
Frankly, 80% of the time I hurt someone's feelings, I don't care. It's not because I lack empathy or compassion. It's that people have become hypersensitive pussies that are used to having people walk on eggshells around them to protect their precious feelings.
For fuck's sake, we're adults. It's high time we learn to deal with our feelings, and not take everything so damn personally. We're not children at the playground anymore.
Kids get their feelings hurt. Adults get upset. If I my words hurt or truly upset someone, I care. Because they're fellow human beings, and I don't want to see them in pain. But getting your panties in a twist just because a joke was made about a group you belong in? I don't have time for that kind of petty thing.
I am comfortable taking verbal abuse aka banter. I don't take it personally and enjoy giving some back. While I wouldn't necessarily call this socially unacceptable but I've met a lot of people that are uncomfortable with this kind of dynamic. I tend to call them bitches.
I thoroughly enjoy mining my nose. Nothing beats the satisfaction of pulling out a really nice one and then giving it a good checking over. Especially those kind where you can feel the pull of it way up into your sinuses. Those are the best.
NGeX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip. Look, from now on when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it.
phych ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knocking out a woman who is assaulting someone.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:43:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is swearing still socially unacceptable? Guess it depends on the situation. But for the most part, I don't get the stigma on swearing. It's just words. Especially they aren't being used in a derogatory way to someone, who cares if I yell "fucking shit balls" in exasperation
The whole point of swear words is that they're socially unacceptable. It's basically someone saying I am so angry at this situation that I no longer care about using appropriate language. When someone swears you know something is wrong.
So if a swear word becomes socially acceptable, I guarantee people will find another word to use.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, so what's the point of giving it power if it's arbitrary and can be replaced on a whim.
Nevera_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:46:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a man opening up to someone personally to show them I trust them.. In my generation its not very common and often its not returned.
crumpus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Browsing a friends Facebook profile to see what they're up to lately. No it's not 'Facebook stalking' I'm genuinely interested in the lives of my friends and family.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:20:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Venting out about my problems. I have some hefty mental health issues and cannot afford a doctor. I live alone, I dont have pets and my friends all live at least a 30 minute bicycle/bus ride away. That being said when stuff gets really intense I have to externalize it so I can try and make sense of what my brain is telling me ( eg if the situation is as bad as it appears or if im projecting my anxieties into it and making it worse ). I have lost people I once considered friends over this and am always told by my father that I should keep my problems to myself. He will often say "No one will want you around if you appear to be sad all the time." which seems to be true for the most part. Venting out my issues have allowed me to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings though so I will use it till I can't.
I'll try make a case here on a few things for which I know well are quite controversial and sensitive topics, in the hopes that perhaps others will consider it and agree, as though I may risk it being downvoted into oblivion I think it needs to be mentioned here. Incest, polygamy, and pedophilia. Each of these are well known for being socially unacceptable by a wide margin, but I do not have a problem with them as long as specific limits are met for each. First, incest - I have no issue with it as long as those involved do not procreate. Polygamy - I have no problem with it as long as those involved are all fully consenting. Pedophilia - I have no problem with people who are such as long as they never act on their attraction towards any minor. As this last one is a very troublesome matter we no choice but to keep a close eye on anyone who is discovered to be one, but I otherwise don't think we need to prosecute them for say, possession of hand-drawn pornography. All of three of these I have no problem with as long as people aren't getting hurt, because it's none of my business. (Except the third one, in which due to what it is it would be stupid for law enforcement not to at least keep a close eye on any suspected pedophiles.)
Eating non breakfast foods for breakfast. I want to eat lollies, coffee or lasagne or miso soup for breakfast I will. I just don't like breakfast. It's not my thing.
nhavar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:48:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Talking about your salary. Everyone should do it as long as they're doing it to get a gauge of the range and not doing it to show off
Non-monogamy/Polyamory/Polygamy - who cares what anyone thinks about it. It's happening whether people want it to or not. If I had a choice between Polygamy versus serial monogamy with divorce I'd say polygamy. I think too many people end salvageable and sometimes even great relationships over minor relationship problems and sexual misconduct, instead of being honest with each other and working it out.
Incest - yeah, yeah, gross, whatever. Not like I want to get with any of my sisters or anything, but I fail to see the big deal. I've heard a few stories now about people given up for adoption and finding one another accidentally and learning only later they were related. Same with cousins. The only reason we have barriers to incest is because of birth defects, yet you don't see people with known passable genetic issues being screened and forbidden from getting married, having sex, or producing offspring. In my book if it's consensual at a reasonable legal age, then I don't care. Plus, if you wanna go all biblical and stuff if Adam and Eve were the first two people then someone at some point had to have sex with someone they were related to and God didn't strike them down.
Age Gaps - who cares. Just because you wanna attribute some stereotype to people who might date someone younger or older than themselves doesn't make it true for those two people. Plenty of relationships out there with an age gap that are perfectly happy except for the undue societal pressure put upon them.
Childless couples - If they're happy without kids, leave them alone
Marriageless couples - If they choose to live together for 60 years without a marriage certificate, who cares. It's none of your business.
Head of household - Letting someone in the relationship be dominant and the other submissive. You can still be equals but at some point there needs to be a tie breaker and every relationship needs to have a clear measure of what that means. For some it's going to be some egalitarian set of rules, for others it's going to be a clear role of who is the head and who follows. Mind you I'm not about some of the more forced and strained conservative images of this type of relationship, but more for couples deciding for themselves what it looks like to them.
Being yourself has limits - Depending on your social circle you might be in a group of people that says "it's okay to be yourself" and for the most part I agree. However, I think there are people out there that are provocateurs who aren't themselves but instead some exaggerated version of themselves expressed solely to get attention or push people's buttons. I don't like that. Being yourself has limits. If you are always loud, call people "bitch" a lot, are one of those "I'm just being honest" people, or decide to use your "uniqueness" as some sort of commentary on the rest of society - well, keep it to yourself.
Pedophilia - or more specifically giving pedophiles a chance to get help with their psychological problems just like we give people with depression, bipolar, addiction, or schizophrenia a chance. Not labeling every guy who looks at a younger girl a pedophile would be good too. Which means addressing the fact that there's an actual psychological problem these people need help with.
Silence - People feel like they have to fill every moment with noise out of their mouth holes. Just sit and look into someones eyes, sit with them and look off into the distance and let them have their thoughts about the moment and you yours. Watch a sunset, see a movie, have dinner, all in quiet and then maybe right about the experience.
Giving money to panhandlers - I do it every chance I get. I have something someone else can use. If they choose to use it to get high or drunk or just use it as part of their income and they make a good income sitting on the corner begging. I don't care. Because at some point I will give money or food to someone who can actually use it. If I sit around assessing everyone's stories for worthiness then I'll miss out on chances to help people. Plus I always have in the back of my mind that giving freely without question might make someone think about what they are receiving, assuming they're not really in need.
Euthanasia - Don't play what-if games with people's lives or long term suffering. If there isn't a cure today for what they have let them die with dignity at their time of choosing.
Public nudity - We spend a lot of time mentally undressing people and hoping for glimpses of this or that but then get freaked out when thinking about public nudity and seeing people who don't meet some ideal body type. But guess what, that person you love and think is sexy today is going to get older, their body is going to change and go through phases, more wrinkles, more sagging, fatter, skinnier, more hair, less hair, going from ideal to ick over time. So just get over that now.
Women with facial hair (or body hair) - some people just have more hair than others, some women have genetic or biological issues. We make women feel bad for having excess hair or not shaving their legs or armpits but why? I've heard men whine that it seems to manly. It's not manly, it's called being a mammal. When my wife started to worry about her lip hair, which to me was unnoticeable, and waxed I freaked out a little the first time I kissed her because it didn't feel right and I couldn't figure out why. But I know men who cringe like they just saw the most gross thing ever if they see a woman with a beard or some underarm hair. Give the macho crap a rest and take some of the pressure off women.
In God We Trust - I see myself as a Christian of sorts but going counter to society in not feeling the need to have the name of God scrawled on every piece of paper that people wipe their asses on. Nor do I believe that it should be in every oath, on every brick of a government building, or that crosses should be everywhere like they are in our society. I always thought of God as something sacred, private, hidden. That we invoked His name in solitude and contemplation. I just don't get it. Do people think that they're making money more sacred by having God on it? Do they think that when someone slips that dollar bill in someone's G-String that it's the same as sharing the word of God? Or if someone rolls it up to snort some coke maybe they'll see God on there and have an epiphany and be saved? I feel like they diminish God versus promoting Him in the act. So I don't say God in the pledge, most times I don't even say the pledge. My heart already belongs to both, I don't need to jump in with everyone else and prove it.
Not picking a side - I hate the fact that people think that they have to be for or against something. Pro-choice, Pro-life is a good example. Socialism versus Capitalism is another. No Gun Control versus Gun Control. I don't like the idea of abortion (Pro-life) but I refuse to forcefully keep people from committing the act for their own interests (Pro-choice) especially knowing that the child may grow up suffering for it. I can see both sides of the debate and choose to be on both sides or neither depending on the specific issue. Same thing with guns, I like guns myself and see their utility and their enjoyment while simultaneously being frustrated with gun culture, shootings, gun violence and self-inflicted gun deaths. Both sides. But if I say "I believe in stronger gun regulation" then I get lumped into the "he's against the Second Amendment" and if I say people should be allowed to have guns I get lumped in with the NRA and Second Amendment supporters. I hate that black and white conversation.
Talking about race, politics, relationships, religion at work - Many of the people you work with you have long time relationships with. Most you know their personalities, their families, and what they did over the weekend. Many you even have interactions with outside of work. So why pretend and put up artificial boundaries.
Pretending there is a work/life balance or separation - Your life is your work, you work to live, you live to work. you don't suddenly stop being a mother, father, baseball enthusiast, or comic book nerd when you walk through the door of your work, just like you don't stop being a programmer, brick layer, or cook when you walk in the door to your home. You don't stop worrying about what's going on at home. Just like when you get home you don't stop worrying about what's going on at work. I think if people were given more opportunity to express themselves freely then we wouldn't see the burn-out, heart attacks and sometimes rage we see in the workplace or at home. How many times have we all heard about someone getting fired from a job and then taking it out on someone at work, or losing a job and coming home and taking it out on the home. Everyone knew there was trouble. Everyone could remember some frustration or some rumor. But it never got talked about, never got dealt with, and so it just festered until it blew up.
pedophillia, as long as the urges aren't acted upon, and they don't look at real child porn.
nudity
sex in public
sleeping with other people in a relationship. Wouldn't care at all if my partner did it. Even behind my back -- although I do care if they weren't using protection
incest.. Except in certain cases (making babies, or pedophillia)
talking about sex, even with children around
this is thankfully becoming less so, but being a feminine man or masculine woman
being groped. Everybody is welcome to my body! :) I wouldn't get mad if someone groped me, but would get mad if they continued doing it after I say no. Also, I don't mean I think it's ok for people to grope people randomly; just that if it happens to me, I don't care
most fetishes.. S&m, autoerotic asphyxiation, scat, water sports. It doesn't mean I'm into them... Just don't think less of people who are.
selling/buying/consuming any drugs, as long as people have good understanding of the ones they are taking
assisted suicide/euthanasia. Even for non-fatal conditions. However, only after exhausting all other options for a good amount of time -- a couple years?
tattoos of your lovers. I'd do it. If it ended badly, a lover still would be a significant part of my life and so I wouldn't ever regret it.
I could probably list many more. As long as it's not unwantingly hurting anybody, it's fine in my book!
Close relatives, like cousins or even siblings having sex with each other. As long as all parties involved are consenting adults, I don't give a crap about who you're having sex with.
kilkil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with incest.
Honestly, if you just stick to not having kids, there's nothing actually wrong with it. "Disgusting" does not qualify as a reason to dislike it, which I don't anyway.
Taking home leftovers. Why is there a stigma against this?!?!
They will be thrown into the trash anyway. They will be wasted. How is waste preferable??!?!
If you are in a college club that perennially orders too much food, be my guest and take it all home when the club meeting is over. If no one else wants it, it is yours.
RNAPII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take home leftovers every time I eat out. I didn't know this was bad.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take home leftovers every time I eat out. I didn't know this was bad.
Women being "gross." Three out of three of my steady female partners have scratched themselves, farted, and belched without shame when we're alone together. Only one of them shaves her armpits, none bother with makeup, and they all cuss like sailors. When their noses are clogged, they blow them. When they eat BBQ, they look like something outta Princess Mononoke. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I was raised by a really sweet self-described "Midwestern broad" with a crass, awesome sense of humor, I'm kinda genderbent in the other direction, and I just don't give a shit about people being dainty.
Jfc if I want to look at my phone I'm going to look at my phone.
I know how to be polite. If I'm out with friends/family/work I'll keep my phone away. If it is not an appropriate place to have a phone (movie/wedding/funeral/church?) I will not use it. But I cringe at the thought of some weirdo at The Outback silently seething as my BF and I read reddit while eating a Bloomin Onion. We live together, work together, share a car, and have been together for 8 years. We talk enough, believe me. We enjoy Reddit and generally use it as a conversation starter and we enjoy so many things together. We are fine. Believe me this is ok. He is probably is celebrating the fact I'm NOT talking for a while.
God forbid someone need to use their phone for work or you know... the intended purposes of a device that cost $200 and $100/month that we pretty much all own. This is one of my biggest pet peeves... clearly.
Various manner things in the train, such as makeup, eating something and speaking with cellphone. I don't care what people are doing.
kevik72 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:38:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The cellphone thing only bothers me if they're being very loud. Like louder than any person should talk on their phone. Or using speakerphone for no reason.
I don't get why people use speakerphone. They have the thing loud, but still hold the thing right up in front of their face. When I'm on the phone in public, I talk quieter and less because I don't want others to hear me, let alone the person to whom I'm talking.
Maybe depends on a country? In our country eating something in long seat type train (such as subway) seems not so polite. The train with two pepsons seat type (such as long distance train) is OK, people often have lunchbox meal in that train.
Sounds nice. It's totally unacceptable in our country but I've seen a man who plays a guiter in Europe subway. People totally ignored him but I was watching him because it was interesting and nice playing. Then he came to me and required some tip ...
I feel like it's become unacceptable to hold someone accountable. If you have a friend that goes a little too crazy on the weekends or is into some harmful stuff, it's apparently offensive now to call them out on it. I can't count how many times I've heard "It's his life, not yours!", "Mind your own business!", "Why do you care if Tim does Meth and has unprotected butt sex with hookers? That's his choice to make!" Well maybe I care about Tim and don't want him to die of AIDS? Too many people have this idea that every man is an island and it's basically become unacceptable to call someone out on something and keep them accountable for their actions.
It is alright to ask once but if they tell you to mind your own business then you should, otherwise you will lose your friends because you are constantly judging them. Let them do them.
Swearing in public. They're just words people, get the fuck over it! If you choose to be offended by words, that aren't even directed at you, you're a piece of shit and I hate you.
Yeah, in a venue of adults, maybe. But like, around kids? That's border line, because who wants to have to explain to their 5 year old what 'fuck' or 'bitch' means, you know?
I thought the gays already beat that argument to the ground. "My choices shouldn't have to revolve around you not wanting to explain something to your kids." And also, why are shoot and darn acceptable? They literally mean the exact same thing, just a couple letters difference.
I don't even care if there's addiction as long as they aren't fucking up other people's lives. I'm all for people having the right to fuck up their own life.
I see what you're saying, but those with drug addictions often fuck up their family life, if they have a family who cares. All the meth junkies I've met, including family, always tend to fuck over everyone they meet.
Tomus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if it's their decision, and it doesn't affect anyone, what's the harm? Are you also against euthanasia? (Genuine question, not trying to be passive aggressive)
How old are you? Because if you weren't there in the 80's you don't really know what passive smoking means. I remember going to the DMV and not being able to breath because it was OK for public servants to smoke indoors with the window closed.
i remember a bar i used to go to swapped out some ceiling tiles after the smoking ban went in effect. OH MY GAWD. also it is nice to not have your clothes reek of smoke every time you went out.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:29:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I loved when that ban went into effect...and I was a smoker then.
i don't miss the 25% chance of getting a nice puff of smoke in the eye when you're trying to light up indoors. searing pain and watery eyes, not cool man when you have a 3ft green mohawk
even smoking sections of bars nowadays have pretty good ventilation
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:40:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where are these bars with smoking sections? In my city you're not even allowed to smoke outside on the patio of a bar. Which is kinda dumb, because now all the smokers just loiter on the sidewalk and get in people's way.
Yeah, that's what's happened in my city. I can agree with banning indoor smoking, at least where ventilation isn't good, since non-smokers shouldn't have to breath in a ton of second-hand smoke, but the patio bans don't seem so logical.
In Vegas you can smoke pretty much anywhere. I think certain counties have "grandfathered in" some older establishments that were kind of based around smoking before the ban went into effect.
My city has a couple "cigar bars" where you can buy cigars and smoke them in there building and while you're having a meal. Plus there's still a lot of hookah lounges
Virginia has them, and i know Tennessee has them as well
Jules- ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a smoker, and I refuse to smoke indoors. If I have people coming over, everything is deep cleaned and aired out, doesn't smell like a smoker's home. Then I go outside to smoke.
Same goes for restaurants. Its nasty to try and eat with smoke around, mine included.
And coming home with cigarette burns in your clothes from other people's cigarettes.
Knigar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should come to Japan, most restaurants you can smoke in but have designated areas, sometimes is a piece of glass or the room is completely divided. When I cycle past the pachinko stations, you can smell the smoke coming from inside. I feel sorry for the staff that have to work in those conditions. The rules have improved but I don't think they will ever ban smoking from restaurants/bars etc. The amount of people that smoke in Japan is crazy, wouldn't even like to see the statistics.
I remember going into pool halls with my father, when I was really young and thank fucking god I was short back then, thick haze everywhere...
sre01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm betting he doesn't remember the fucking haze we all used to have to live in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I miss those days.
folderol ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 20:31:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But now those studies that were done are being applied to every situation in which they don't apply. They banned smoking in public parks in some places. People actually think it's a health risk for them. It makes no sense. You have a right to your health but not to not be offended by smelling a cigarette for a few seconds. They've also banned it in restaurants and public buildings which I think is a great idea.
Banning smoking outside makes no sense whatsoever. For the same reason they might as well ban cars because of the exhaust. I remember the last months of my stay in the US they made the whole campus "smoke-free". The whole campus, including vast outside areas. This is some useless fanaticism. I understand why they would ban it indoors, in bathrooms etc, but outside? Just wondering, as of recently: is it OK to smoke in American city streets?
Federally? Yes. In all states? Pretty sure. In all cities? Maybe not.
sre01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know why they banned smoking outside? Because the majority of smokers just flick their goddamn cigarette butts wherever, and the rest of us are fucking tired of picking them up.
That's littering. They could tell smokers to put the butts in the trash, that's it. They don't ban eating outside just because some people might throw the waste wherever.
sre01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can put up all the signs and ashtrays you want. If you have outside smoking areas, there will be butts laying about.
listix ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:05:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone should be free to pick their own poison. But they shouldn't be free to share it with others who don't want it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been on both ends of this argument. If I smoke outside and the wind blows smoke in your general direction you could just, y'know, move a meter. It's not that big of a deal.
listix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:32:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a responsibility of both. If I dont like smoking then I wont go to a place that allows smokers or even be in the vicinity. If I smoke I will try to avoid smoking in a place where it might cause discomfort to others. Just enjoy life and let other enjoy life as well while making sure we arent harming others in this process. Seems pretty straight forward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah of course. I am not actively smoking on people just to piss them off. At the bus stop I usually move aside, out of the way of other people if I want a smoke. But fuck me, if it bothers someone that much, if they can still smell it, just walk a bit aside instead of giving me the smoker privilege talk on reddit.
listix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FANGO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could also just, y'know, not smoke. It's not that big of a deal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not the one whining so much about something that is easy to fix by moving. If I have a problem with a situaton I just go and fix it, instead of hoping that the circumstances surrounding of what happened will change for me.
FANGO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, actually, you are. You could move so as not to poison other people, but you don't. You're whining that the other people, who you are making the choice to poison, don't accommodate your choice, which they did not make themselves. It's your responsibility, not theirs.
I mean, I like to drive on sidewalks, it's not my responsibility if people don't get out of my way.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop strawmanning. I said I am actively trying not to inconvinience people. If you passive-agressively step into the smoke range and then complain about smokers on reddit, then it's your fault. Also: You are here for 8 years, you should have learned by now that the downvote button is not a disagree button.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you passive-agressively step into the smoke range
Speaking of strawmanning.
you should have learned by now that the downvote button is not a disagree button.
Oh no! You got downvoted! You're being oppressed! I'm taking away your freedom!
Seriously, this smokers' persecution complex is ridiculous. I understand that addiction has fucked your brain and tries hard to rationalize your behavior by making it seem like everyone is out to get you, but nobody, and I mean actually nobody, is "stepping into your smoke range" just so they can go and complain about it on reddit. That's a completely idiotic thing to believe. And yet, I'm sure that you genuinely believe it, because that's the sort of mental loop that an addicted mind will twist itself into.
And that's why you're being downvoted. Because you are divorced from reality. Good luck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't really apply, it's still socially acceptable to smoke. Just illegal to smoke inside, for obvious reasons, and mildly looked-down upon by most people who watch their health. I think this is exactly how it should be; "smoke if you want, but it's kinda stupid. Also don't smoke inside public spaces."
Reading reddit sometimes one could get the idea that it's completely unacceptable to smoke anywhere but in your remote cabin in the woods hundreds of miles away from anyone.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Well that's a fire hazard. Who is going to save your cabin when you light it on fire.
It's best only to smoke in Antarctica or on the moon.
Reddit is fucking brutal towards cigarettes and it gets incredibly annoying
FANGO ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
lol? You're kidding right? Or do you have some sort of insane persecution complex? (oh wait, it's the latter)
This is like saying the US government is brutal towards Christians. Get a clue. The very existence of this upvoted comment disproves you. Addiction has fucked your brain into thinking that everyone is against you and that you're fighting for some sort of righteous cause. You're not.
edit: See? reddit is just soooo brutal about cigarettes that they buried your bullshit complaining like they should have. You're such a martyr! Someone give him a medal!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like weed in Colorado.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While repeatedly flogging yourself and screaming I am not worthy I am dirty I am addiction
JSX13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I'm from the UK and went to San Francisco recently, so I did some digging on here to see if there were any crazy smoking laws (I smoke). Taking only reddit into account, you'd think not only were cigarettes rarer than shiny charizards, if you're seen with one you'd feel the full force of the law. Contrary to this, cigs were 1/3rd of the price and smoking at the kerb was the norm, which is what I do here anyways.
Well duh, I mean if you're blowing smoke in people's faces, it's incredibly rude and SHOULD only be done where it won't bother people. For me, the smell of cigarette smoke literally makes me feel like throwing up. Why should I have to suffer from other people's selfish habits?
Not calling all smokers selfish, but if you smoke in a public area with lots of people, then it's incredibly selfish.
Well if you do it close enough to someone else that they can smell it/breathe it in, you are unfairly affecting them.
As for how close is acceptable/legal/moral, that's a different question.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you smoke inside your car I will look at you like you're a disgusting PoS. That stink will be stuck inside your seats for all eternity, not to mention the stain interior.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why do you care so much about some random stranger's car?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it means you are too lazy to take short smoke breaks to keep your things and property clean. You may not notice the stench, but non-smokers will. Even worse when there are cigarette butts and ash in the ash tray, so it feels like the entire car is a moving ash tray. Of course, most people just throw the butt out of the window because they are too cool to clean after themselves. Ugh, so filthy and annoying.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:51:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None of these are reasons why you should care about some random stranger's car.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care about their car. I just immediately assume they are filthy and lazy.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:30:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the tech community in San Francisco is like this..
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even when you just sold your anti-smoking app it's considered wrong to have a celebratory cigarette in the office! How fascist
dcux ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's still socially acceptable to smoke.
That's pretty relative. And definitely based on location. There are some cities, circles, groups where smoking is seriously looked down upon. And not just the act - the person is judged. But I've visited other cities where it seems like everyone is smoking.
I do think that some public places and businesses should be allowed to make their own decision on whats allowed, Casinos and Bars clubs should be able to decide if they want to allow smoking or not.
SazzeTF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How bad is second hand smoking? I occasionally smoke (cigarillos with filters mostly) but never really given the second hand smoking a thought.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's bad but that applies to like children living in houses that their parents smoke in. It doesn't apply to people walking by and getting a whiff of cigarette
SazzeTF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i'm talking about like smoking at a bus stop nearby other people. Surely they won't suffer from it?
It honestly depends on the person. When I was in my teens, any breath of second-hand smoke was agony for me. My nose instantly shut up, and I would have a minor sore throat. It the exposure was any longer, I'd get a respiratory infection.
This may have been because my parents were both chain smokers (six packs a day, on average, between both of them). So, that exposure could have lowered my resistance.
Now it stills plugs up my nose and makes it hard to breathe, but I can bear it for a few hours at a time. I still instinctively freeze up when I'm walking in public and get a whiff of it. But, as long as people are even the slightest bit considerate, I usually do the same and go out of my way as well to avoid having to react like that around them as well and let them have their space.
If I were at a bus stop with someone smoking, and I wasn't running late, I'd probably just take a short walk away until the next one came.
Though, I think my reaction is definitely in the minority. I don't think most people have ill reactions.
Eh, depends. My city has banned smoking from all walking/bike paths, all parks, within 20 feet of all bus stops, and in a popular walking mall that's full of bars/restaurants/small shops, including the alleyways between and behind buildings. And the ban even extends to vape pens because they don't want children to think that's a safe alternative. It's asinine.
I have friends that work in some of those restaurants/bars that have been hassled by cops for smoking outside by the fucking dumpster in the alley. I and several other people I know just don't even consider going to those bars anymore because God knows we're going to smoke a few cigarettes if we're out having some beers. And the fine for a first time offense is $500. No typo. Five hundred fucking dollars. And we're a town that gets a pretty decent amount of tourists, so it seems like a great way for someone to have their vacation ruined and decide that they're never coming back here to spend money ever again!
The way to reduce usage of a drug is to inform people about it and let them know it's not worth starting, not to impose ridiculous sentences on people who already smoke... Now you just make a bunch of people angry, and it's not going to encourage that many people to just outright stop smoking. If there's a will, there's a way.
I'm okay with it not being allowed in indoors public spaces, but any more than that just makes it unecessarily shitty for smokers, while not being effective enough.
Willzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It shouldn't be illegal inside it should be up to the owners/bartenders to decide
I don't agree with that. I would potentially have to stop going to several places I like, and the healthcare cost of all those people suffering the consequences of the smoke would cost us a lot. Not worth it.
Actually went to New York a few weeks ago. I walked around and people were smoking everywhere. No one smokes where I'm from so it was kind of a culture shock.
I feel like it does. I live in a college campus and I've had people judge me, in front of my face, because I asked for a lighter to light my cig.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half of these don't apply at all. People are saying silence, being alone, being honest, and tons of other stupid shit that is completely acceptable as if they were socially unacceptable.
I think smoking is seen as socially unacceptable even though it's quite common. I personally think it's fine you do you but my former smoker of a dad, my girlfriend, and most of my sociology class
Slak44 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:34:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also don't smoke inside public spaces.
IMO, you shouldn't be able to smoke in any public spaces indoors or otherwise. Just because we're outside it doesn't mean I should have to breathe that fucking smoke.
There are no benefits indeed, but banning something is extremely ineffective and would cause a lot of problems down the line. Just look at how we treat other drugs. There's also a lot to be said from a more "morality"-based angle, as in, people should be allowed to do what they want if it doesn't affect others negatively. Second hand smoke outside is harmless, although does have an annoying smell, but we can get over it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
within 18 inches of a person
They said 6ft and over helps quite a bit, which is pretty much the bare minimum for me when smoking outside, even with other smokers. I also think designated areas for smoking in areas with a high concentration of people isn't a bad idea either, but an all-out ban doesn't seem workable.
In Japan, many areas (particularly at airports) they have small glass boxes people are allowed to smoke in. I didn't see them everywhere, but I saw quite a few.
Because the point of having a free society is that stuff doesn't get banned just because people don't see the benefit. There should have to be provable health detriment.
I don't think second hand smoke qualifies as a danger when talking about people outside. There's no evidence that shows that second hand smoke in the quantities experienced outdoors has significant negative health impacts.
A pet peeve of mine is when people quote second hand studies done on people living with chain smokers to try and show that they're being harmed by someone smoking near them on a patio. Not the same thing. The amount of second hand smoke you receive when you're outdoors is like a fraction of a percent of what you receive when living with someone who smokes heavily.
icanhe ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have asthma, people walking ahead of me in the street smoking can send me into a coughing fit or full-blown asthma attack. I shouldn't have to pay consequences for other peoples' poor decisions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Maybe their trigger is different than what is produced by automobiles? For instance, my college roommates asthma was triggered by pet dander and the like, while mine was only by second-hand smoke or powder based fragrances.
icanhe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You hit the nail on the head...different people have different triggers. I have allergies, I have a dog, all of that is fine. I breathe in cigarette smoke and it's like hitting a damn wall.
Slak44 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My problem doesn't stem from second hand smoking. It's the smoke itself I don't like, because I literally choke in it. I can't breathe properly in cigarette smoke. Neither can my mother, for instance.
There should have to be provable health detriment.
Thanks, this is really interesting and I wasn't aware of those studies. It definitely does seem like there's more damage than I thought, but it also seems like once you get outside of a square meter the damage is greatly reduced.
There's also some parts in there that I question. For example:
For example, if you're at a sidewalk cafรฉ, and you sit within 18 inches of a person who smokes two cigarettes over the course of an hour, your exposure to secondhand smoke could be the same as if you sat one hour inside a tavern with smokers.
As a non-smoker that's been to a lot of smokey bars, as well as sat across from smokers on outdoor patios, I have a lot of trouble believing this.
They did a lot of these tests using a little machine that detects carcinogens. I'm wondering (and half suspecting) that they lit a cigarette and placed the detector right in the stream of smoke 18 inches away, which to me would not be very realistic.
Still, definitely more scientific evidence than i thought there was for the negative impacts of outdoor second hand smoke. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
Because its a restriction on a person's personal freedoms, are you against gay marriage and for alcohol prohibition as well?
Slak44 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am in favour of gay marriage and against alcohol prohibition. But these do not directly affect other people. Smoke does. As I said in another comment, I choke in it.
wombat1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:04:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does that even work in people's homes, where smoke detectors are legally mandatory?
In addition, I get so tired of those truth campaign ads. EVERYONE KNOWS SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU! Smoking rates are down, and that's great; but there will always be smokers. Let them have a cigarette if they want to, god damn. "Gotta gotta gotta swipe left. Left swipe that!" Their TV ads are going to give me cancer much faster than any cigarette would. What an incredibly large waste of money.
To me, the point of those ads is to make someone second guess starting to smoke. It's likely not going to make that person in their 50s who's been smoking for the last 30 years stop smoking. But it might make that 14 year old kid question themselves or their friends for trying cigarettes.
And of course everyone knows that smoking causes cancer. But everyone also knows what Coca-Cola is and you still see their ads everywhere. In both cases, it's a matter of reminding people, be it the dangers of smoking or to grab one soda brand over another.
I fucking hate that ad. At least the other ones focus on addiction and the negative health effects of smoking. Kind of a "watch out". That one just says "Hey! Mock these people!"
Oh, I forgot about those. Those commercials punish everyone. I'm a non-smoker just sitting there trying to enjoy my lunch, next thing I know these people are showing off their stoma and pulling out their teeth, among other things. Daniel Tosh once said something along the lines of "Everyone knows smoking is bad for you. Quit spending money on those terrible commercials and just give $20 to everyone who doesn't smoke."
Yeah, I hate pretty much all the anti smoking ads. But although those ones that literally show people tearing out their skin and what not are overdramatized and just going for shock value, they at least are pushing a fact (smoking can lead to skin damage, for example). The "swipe that left" one just says "you deserve to be ostracized and humiliated".
So in conclussion, I hate them all, but I hate that particular one a lot more.
If it's okay to shame me for a life choice that affects my health, then I feel I should be allowed to shame fat people for a life choice that affects their health.
Oh, wait, no? That's not okay, PC Police? Good, then stuff your anti-smoking opinion UP YOUR ASS.
We tend to be very proud of our right to endlessly consume.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to forget the one guy who swipes left while surrounded by mountains of diabetes-inducing sweets.
I don't know if this is the correct term, but I found it pretty ironic and a little disturbing.
FANGO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EVERYONE KNOWS SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU!
Then why do so many kids start smoking so early? And older people generally don't? Right, because kids don't apparently know smoking is bad for you. Youth smoking rates have been decreasing as this information has been drilled into their heads. This is a good thing.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picked up 20 butts on the beach the other day, just in the small area I was in, with a bunch of friends who were smoking and swore they're not the type to leave their butts on the beach.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your not gonna die from walking by someone smoking lol
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:59:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How often do you get into a situation where you are forced to stand right besides a smoker and inhale second hand smoke? It's prohibited in buildings and outside you can always step out of the aoe range.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:04:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, as far as I know you can like, move there and breathe fresh air outside of the vicinity of smokers. It's pretty easy actually.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your not gonna die from walking through smoke and it doesn't just sit there in this massive cloud of smoke. it dissipates rather quickly. it's like telling people they can't talk on their cell phone in public because that annoys you or no loud cars & music
i am a tobacco reduction counsellor / addictions counsellor, and now a domestic violence counsellor. :)
i honestly do not care if you smoke. but please, for the sake of all of us that do not smoke, please do not smoke under the covered entrances to buildings that we all have to walk through the smoke.
i dont want those chemicals in my body, i do not want to smell like that, and there are clearly posted signs saying no smoking allowed, so why does your convenience trump my health and access to public buildings? you are more than welcome to walk over to the DESIGNATED smoking area, where everyone will be fine.
those people are the jerks that give people like me a bad name.
who cares if that guy is wanting to put that into their body? In Canada i always get the argument that "i pay for their healthcare!"
no you really dont... you pay for a portion of their health care, and really, does it fucking matter? are you that much of a bastard that you want to remove others choices to save you $15 over the next three years? you really want to take away their ability to choose?
but smokers need to accept that they cannot take away my ability to choose either, so we compromise. go to the smoking area, and most of the people wont bother you, other than the jerkfaces.
Smoking is bad for you, every smoker i ever met knows this. but they get to choose the active addiction or not. i can help, but it isnt my job to push them towards a choice, that is their choice..
Ideally it should be covered by tax on tobacco products.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In minnesota that pays for new sports stadiums. they justified raising the tax because it costs mn so and so much dollars for uninsured people needing smoking related healthcare then they use that tax increase to pay for a new stadium when the old one was just fine, especially for someone like me who never goes to those damn things
Plus as I've said before to friends with the same argument, there are tens of millions of people in the country. If it bugs you that much, think of it this way instead:
Your share went to giving the 5 year-old kid in the OR a blood transfusion. Or the teenager that broke his knee skateboarding. The smokers pay taxes too, not only on tobacco, but the same income tax everybody else pays. It's their share that goes to fixing themselves.
Thatโs pathetic but I suppose it stems from the way some anti smoking campaigns try and make it in and of its self immoral witch leads people to get all high and mighty over the fact they donโt do something we all know is unhealthy. Also I think some people who clime they hate the smell donโt rely think itโs the worst smell in the world. Its just that in anti smoking campaigns they use this as one of the ways to make people stop but people by into it that its disgusting when actually its just unhealthy and at worst mildly annoying.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's illegal, for good reason, and yet nobody enforces it.
I hate it when people smoke near a hospital. They had a designated smoking area but apparently it was too far from the front door. So instead I'm forced to take my asthmatic baby through a cloud of smoke.
As long as the designated area is protected from the elements I'll use those. If not, well Fuck the signs I'm smoking in the least exposed area possible. I'm not going to get drenched just to have a cig 2 hours into my 8 hour shift. Sorry. notfuckingsorry
We should be friends. All my (female) friends hate me when I start giving them blank stares. They know what I need is a drag.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that people with asthma or other lung conditions can get really sick being around smokers. Smoking isn't common where I live, but when I visit my brothers at college where everyone smokes I get physically ill. My chest aches and I feel nauseous. And second hand smoke is a very real danger. My grandfather didn't smoke a day in his life, but died of lung cancer as a result of being around smokers at work and at home is whole life. Smoking isn't a victim less crime, it hurts the environment and all the people around you.
cmath89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hate when people don't care when they're blowing smoke in someone's face. Like they seem oblivious to what they're doing. I'm a self conscious smoker. Like I'll move out of my way or blow the smoke in the opposite direction just so it doesn't go directly in anyone's face.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:33:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I don't care how much and what you smoke as long as you don't force me to do it with you.
Exactly. I'm fine with smoking, too, as long as I don't have to breath in the smoke constantly being released from your breath, your hair, your clothes, or your house.
Oh, no, perfectly fine. Just don't go walking around smelling like you've been smoking. That's all I ask. I'm seriously, perfectly fine with it.
I had a priest that smoked, but he was a closet smoker. You wouldn't know it. One day my mom noticed him smoking one day somewhere in or near the parish office. She was surprised, because you'd never know it. He was very careful about it. That's the kind of smoker I admire.
I've allergic to cigarette smoke. My whole family smoked as I grew up. I used to get sinus infections and get bed ridden sick multiple times a year. After I moved out and smoking was banned I haven't been sick or had a sinus infection. Unless I'm in an enclosed room with smokers. I'm all about personal freedoms but really like not getting sick all the time because of someone else's shitty cigarette. 2nd hand pot smoke or even crack smoke does not effect me at all or the way cigarette smoke does.
Spear99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you feel like paying to kill you lungs that's your problem. But keep the smell, butts, and smoke as far away from me and especially children as possible please. I shouldn't need to get migraines and second hand smoke because of your self-destructive habit.
I don't smoke either but i agree. Sometimes the faint smell of cigarettes makes me feel like I'm being social in a social setting, which can be pleasant.
I was up to the age of about 16 (when I started). I've grown up on the cusp of smoking being considered really bad and when the smoking bans came into place in the UK. Now I do smoke I don't do it around people that aren't, just in case they're not cool with it, but I was always fine with it growing up.
No. When they smoke in public, even on outdoor spaces next to people, the smoke makes me feel awful and it's very harmful to other people.
4077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In 94 I went to Japan and I flew on ANA. 11 hours of smoke. It was horrible. All US airlines were smoke free, but ANA is a Japanese based airline and still allowed smoking.
I am cool with it too, but smokers should take care to not do it near other people. I am real tired of people sitting on bus stops or the few chairs at the train station smoking like everybody that don't want to inhale it has to stand up.
It depends on the situation for me. Outside on the street? Sure, go ahead. In your own car, where I'm either not in it or could leave if I wanted? Again, go ahead. In the room next to mine on a no-smoking property? Fuck you with a stick.
No, no, no, I have asthma and if i walk in a 15 foot radius near someone smoking I can't breathe, and cough my lungs up. And stay away from the door to a building, respect, I don't care you don't want to walk the extra 12 steps
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:08:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being attracted to women with hairy legs and armpits. An attractive woman with hairy pits is just as attractive as the same woman shaved. Also, being attracted to heavy women. Also, not being particularly attracted to asian women.
It seems like admitting something like that will get you ruthlessly shamed by your peers. There is a lot of pressure for guys to be attracted to a certain formula of woman: thin and completely clean-shaven. Also, for some reason it seems like all white guys have to walk around and talk about what an Asian fetish they have. Oh yes, you have an Asian fetish. Good for you, Jackass.
It's like the only way you can "come out" to your friends as a chubby-chaser is to just start dating heavy women, but you can never, ever talk about it or things will get weird, because they all think back at the comments they've made about big women when they were with you.
ooxo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Eating with hands.
Where I come from, people eating with their hands is default, so I really didn't knew this being socially frowned upon until I was about 13 earth years old. Now I understand it looks a bit dirty when doing so in public, so I obviously don't do it when in the office or at restaurants. But when I'm home, I don't shy away from the feeling of pure joy that is eating using your fingers.
Eating with hands is THE shiznit. Concentrated Daal + Rice + Butter, เคซเฅเคกเคฃเฅเคเฅ เคชเฅเคณเฅ (Phodnichi Poli) + dahi, Pohe + Pickle are some of the mixtures that'll give you the most satisfaction while eating in such way - but nothing compares to the pure pleasure you will get from eating a mango with your bare hands.
You pierce that soft mango skin with your nails as stream of juice comes jolting out of the puncture... you cannot contain the flow - the only way to stop it from falling to the floor is to put your mouth at it. It's sweet, a bit bitter and mostly orgasmic. You proceed to peel off some skin as the yellow matter beneath it is revealed to you. Don't be greedy, though. Finish the stuff stuck to the peel first, eat the peel if you feel like it. Now you are allowed to put your teeth at it. This is it - your teeth and tongue is now in direct contact with the stuff itself - the insides of your mouth are now filled with rivers of that sweet sweet nector. Should you chew? Should you swallow? You don't know. You don't make the decisions anymore. The sole function your hands now perform is to hold the fruit- your teeth are enough to bite off the peel a little bit more and proceed to devour the rest.
You don't know how, but suddenly you find there is no fleshy part left. But this is not the end.
Your fingers has some on it, don't leave the bits under the nails. The pip you hold is hairy and has a lot of the sap stuck to it. Go on, gnaw at it, bite it off, suckle the essence, let some hair get stuck in your teeth.
Lick it good. Lick it clean.
It's been some hours since you came back to reality. Maybe you're walking. Maybe you're sitting. Maybe you're not thinking about it, but your tongue is absentmindedly visiting every corner of the insides of your mouth... and suddenly it catches a hair, caught between the tight wedge between your teeth. It defiantly resists to come out, but you fight. And you win. And as it comes off though, it brings back the taste... it brings back everything... it brings a smile on your face that nobody watching could understand.
vikocho ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I respect that you enjoy eating your food with your bare hands, and I wouldn't ask you not to if you were over for a visit, but I just cannot.
When I read, "You pierce that soft mango skin with your nails as stream of juice comes jolting out of the puncture..." the first thing that ran through my mind was just how dirty the underside of our fingernails truly are. Even if they're washed, I don't want my food coming into contact with that.
It's probably irrational, but I just can't. Though I'm particularly fussy when it comes to my food, if I can avoid it I don't touch any of my food barehanded.
Both genders should be equally allowed to create organizations that only hire 1 gender.
For example I recently read an article about a female tv producer who started a production company with offices in the UK and US and from there very beginning she clearly stated her intention to hire only women. She did it and nobody had a problem with it. But if a man tries that today your can imagine all the trouble he'll have.
mnh1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I recall there was a programming company that did the same, but the equal hiring protections law meant she had to start hiring men, which she did.
I agree that only hiring one gender/race/ethnicity/orientation/religion is just as wrong as excluding them.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'd imagine that it would just reinforce terrible stereotypes, like only hiring women at a school or daycare because people assume men are pedophiles, or only hiring men as politicians because womens' periods make them irrational for one week each month. I'd argue that the hiring gap for things like that should be closed as much as possible.
Still, I think folks ought to be allowed to have a formal organization that only allows people they want in it. The few that come to mind are Boy Scouts and The Cavaliers Drum and Bugle Corps. For the longest time they've been all male organizations. Is that really a problem? Nobody's saying that women are worth less than men, they just want a place for boys/men to do their thing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:21:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that a little different from a company, though? Boyscouts is kind of like a club, just like the Freemasons (which is an all-male group) or fraternities/sororities. With groups like that, it seems like they almost always have a comparable group for the opposite sex. I'd say those are perfectly fine, but companies are a little different.
Does it have to be different from a company? Why does making money make that much of a difference?
For example, if Hooters only ever hired female waitresses, is that so wrong? That's their business model. Playgirl only ever hires male models, so what? Why shouldn't they be allowed to make money on that?
Obviously those both go into 'talent based' organizations, but I think the principle still stands. What if I want to have a bar that's entirely people over the age of 35. That's technically ageist. But what if that's the appeal? Folks who want a bar without having rowdy 20 year olds. Or what if I want a place for Latino men to congregate. Why is that so bad?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think gender specific jobs are one thing, but Hooters, for example, probably hires men as chefs or dishwashers or whatever else. However, if you're only hiring women to your daycare or to your law firm, that would be pretty discriminatory.
There's really no reason to only hire a certain "type" of person for most jobs, outside of what is required for the job. There are themed restaurants and businesses, but unless hiring only women or latinos or 25 year olds is crucial to the experience, why should it matter?
I think that's the biggest kicker. Why should I have to defend what I want? It's fine to ask that question of someone in an informal context, but requiring it be answered from a legal perspective is a bit of a burden of proof error, don't you think?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I think you have a point. The thing is, there are places like that. There are plenty of "clubs" that only let specific people through their doors (rich, men, women, certain races, etc.) The thing is, though, unless it's a part of the experience, it's kind of shaky ground. Sure, having female waitstaff is a part of the experience for Hooters (even if it seems silly to me), and having only Asian people working at a, say, Chinese restaurant seems to be part of the experience for a lot of restaurants.
But, it's shaky ground to have an all-men or all-white people staff at a software company or a department store or a school, considering it has nothing to do with the job, you know?
I wouldn't say shaky ground so much as a dumb deliberate handicap. But I don't think they shouldn't be allowed to handicap themselves, if that makes sense.
Like a lot of things, I think people should be allowed to associate, or not, with whomever they like. And I think that should extend itself into a business context as well. I don't think I should be required to give a contract to a business I don't like just because if I didn't I'd be accused of favoritism or being biased. That same courtesy being extended to hiring of individual employees makes perfect sense.
That said, I think it's beyond stupid to deliberately write off much of the population from working for and with you without a good reason. I just don't think it should be illegal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I never really thought about it that way; you have a really interesting point of view. Although, it just brings images of segregated America to my mind haha
I draw a pretty firm line between government and private activities. The government shouldn't ever care beyond you being a citizen. All citizens are equal members and should get treated equally.
Private folks, they should be allowed to do what they want as long as they aren't transgressing on another person.
Beyond that I'm a firm federalist. The things of your every day life should be determined by your community, not someone thousands of miles away. Only the things that cross lines need to be adjudicated by an overarching figure. So, if your town wants to say no Walmarts allowed, cool. But if you start hassling other folks to disallow their Walmarts, that's not cool.
Yes, but the real problem was that the boss was too polite to fire the 2nd in command and the 2nd in command was too afraid to fire anyone. All the shallow, self centered and petty behaviours described in that article have equivalents in male behavour so I don't think their failure had much to do with their sex.
I'd prefer it over "I'll never leave you, you're the only one!"
dchrisd ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:55:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to. Especially if its a stupid question to ask.
Plus, to take it a step further, if the world was more of an honest place, there would be no reason to ask if someone would leave, because there would be more trust in the relationship.
They do want an answer, it's just that the answer most people want is unreasonable. It's unreasonable to expect someone to be totally interested in being devoted to you while still getting to know you. It's unfair to expect complete unwavering interest from them while you may privately have doubts.
I'm sorry, but if the world was a more honest place, people would tell you that you shouldn't completely trust them, place all your hopes and dreams on them, or completely rely on them. It's pretty common that people break up, move on, or let others down.
dchrisd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:06:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It's an unreasonable question. It's one that shouldn't be asked. A person who asks a question like that is insecure and the fault lies solely on them for asking such a question.
As to the second part, you act like what you're saying is a bad thing. People shouldn't tell you that you should completely trust them, place all your hopes and dreams on them, or completely rely on them if they don't mean it. Giving false hope to someone when you don't mean it is cruel.
Thinking through some scenarios I believe that if the world was created on the basis of truth, with no lying ever introduced, that it would likely be the a 'better' world.
However if we just arbitrarily introduced an implicit rule into the human condition of no lying...I think the world would quickly fall into ruin. Especially if we don't change basic human failings such as procrastination with the removal of the lie. Still there would be some interest.
I'd bet lawyers would make a new profession where they concoct the most long winded statement that is completely true but overall tells a misleading statement.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If everyone in the world started telling the truth tomorrow, there would be chaos. And it would be bad. I can only focus on what I think is best to do, and that is to be as honest as I can.
Now that person has extra information to work off of. If they break up, the world is now a better place. A relationship that shouldn't have existed no longer exists.
I would be okay with a world without lying, so long as you could also "plead the Fifth" and remain silent.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can plead remain silent now. If someone asks your opinion, and you know its going to hurt their feelings, just don't give it. If they persist, say strong to your guns and don't do it. They might be mad, but they'll get over it, and that's a whole lot better than being hurt and letting that pain linger.
You can plead remain silent now. If someone asks your opinion, and you know its going to hurt their feelings, just don't give it.
No, that's not what I'd use it for. I have no quibbles with hurting someone's feelings whenever necessary or appropriate. It's more for like, if someone asks, "What is your bank account number, your Social Security number, and your passwords for all your accounts ever?" I can just then just ignore them.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about? If someone's asking for private information, just tell them you don't want to give it.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Refusing to answer is not silence. The refusal is your answer. If I ask for your address, and you tell me you don't want to give it to me, you have answered my question by telling me no.
Kranicc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this could be manipulated into lying to some degree, like leading people on to believe something that isn't true by withholding information.
Maybe less lying, but lying is necessary for a society to persist.
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is only needed because people lie. If people didn't lie, there would be no reason to be untruthful. As the world stands now, the world would be better if people stopped lying. It's easier to build a stronger / closer bond with people who are truthful than people who lie.
"Honey, does the size of my penis make you less happy about having sex with me?"
"Yes"
"Babe, do you sometimes wish you married that other guy instead of me?"
"Yes"
There a millions of conversations every day in which insecure people are lied to to protect their self-esteem. Lying is easier because it cuts out the bullshit, and more often than not people don't have the time to follow everything up with "but I still find you attractive" or "but I'm glad I picked you" before the other person's feelings are hurt.
It's simply idiotic to make a blanket statement that if everyone stopped lying then the world would be better. What about countries that engage in surveillance and espionage? What about cops who are undercover? What about hospital workers who lie to make their jobs easier?
I'm an EMT and more often than not we lie because telling you the truth will freak you out and make it harder to treat you or exacerbate your condition. Lying is necessary for society to function.
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is the bullshit. It doesn't cut it it out at all, it doesn't help the insecure person, and it certainly doesn't help their self-esteem, because they are still insecure as the lie only gives them a false sense of security. The lie about the pants looking bad doesn't suddenly make the pants look better. The lie about the attractive friend doesn't make them unattractive. Even after you said your lie, they are still going to have their insecurities.
As to cops and countries that engage in surveillance and espionage, heck, maybe you have a point there, but the world, in terms of our interactions with other people, would still be a better place without the lies.
As far as EMT lying, it's not needed, if they're freaking out because of a potentially severed leg, for example, lying and telling them their leg is fine doesn't even need to be said. Letting them know truthfully that you're working as hard as you can to help is much better. And telling them they're fine, when they're not, only makes the pain that much worse when they later realize their leg was lost. You're only delaying the inevitable.
Spoken like someone who has never been in that situation. You're assuming we're lying about how they will be.
Let me tell you a story about one of the paramedics I worked with on my first shift. She picked up a suicidal guy who was checked for weapons before getting loaded on the truck. Suicidal people tend to be pretty dangerous to anyone they perceive as getting in the way of killing themselves, so it was a valid concern. They're in the truck and she's checking on him, getting his info and he keeps asking if they're 5 minutes out from the hospital. She keeps saying no.
Eventually they are 5 minutes out from the hospital, and she discreetly radios in to hospital. The guy asks if they're 5 minutes out and her partner, who is not picking up on the danger of telling this guy the truth, says "yeah". All of a sudden, the suicidal patient pulls out a knife from his mouth where he had been storing it in a little cavity and starts swinging at the medics, and they barely got out before getting hurt.
Some people are nuts, and this suicidal person had some fixation on being 5 minutes out as his cue to start attacking, and had the partner not told the truth, they would be at hospital before the patient decided to start swinging a blade around.
Lying is integral to society because people have different desires and goals and when those goals come into conflict, emotions are often too heated to reach consensus easily. If you think that if everyone stopped lying all of a sudden then life would get better you're sadly deluded.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right about the EMT situation. I've never been one, nor have I ever been in a situation like that. But, lying wasn't needed in your example. There would be no reason to guess that the suicidal person was fixated on five minutes and because of that there would be no reason to guess that there would be a need to lie about it.
However, even if in your experience as an EMT, that situation could have been avoided by a lie, lying still does more harm than good. As I said in my original post, lying creates distrust, uncertainty, and hurts feelings. Lying is nothing more than a temporary solution to avoid a problem. If you lie to much, you lost credibility, and your word means nothing.
If I'm undergoing long term medical treatment and my doctor keeps giving me some bs line about how I'm getting better when I'm not, when I find out, it only makes the problem worse because I can no longer trust that doctor and lost faith in him. Those temporary good feelings I had before all hurt that much more now because I was lied to. The truth would have hurt at the time, but it wouldn't be as bad with the lies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But some lies are kinda acceptable. White lies for example. If I had a fat suicidal friend and he asked me if he was fat, odds are im gonna lie to him.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that wouldn't be helpful. Your fat suicidial friends knows he's fat and knows you're not being trutful when you tell them otherwise. And will only be hurt more when he later gets more confirmation he's fat. Better option would be to tell them that they aren't as overweight as they think they are, or to offer them help in overcoming the problem. The white lie is a band-aid temporary solution, it doesn't fix the problem; It makes it worse.
I sell toupees for a living. Why do you want me to starve?
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see where lying's involved. The person buying the toupe knows they're bald.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's the thing. Being truthful doesn't mean being wholeheartedly honest since it doesn't require offering information that's not asked for. I wouldn't want to share certain personal information about myself, but that doesn't mean I have to lie to do it. I just don't volunteer to say it. There's a difference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is essential for privacy and secrecy though, it would be impossible to have them without. You can choose not to give certain information to people without them knowing you didn't give it. Sure as others said, you could choose to say "I don't want to tell you that" - but that would already be giving away that you're not comfortable sharing it because it's probably unappealing to them.
Ya many of them are that stupid, just dontbgive shitty lies. People benifit from lieing and being lied to, that's a fact so don't pretend it's all evil. We need both our lies and truths to function as a society.
Zukuni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying also creates stability and kindness. We would all be ducked without it. Lying is probably one of the most important things that almost every human does.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stability and kindness? How in the world did you come up with that. Any benefit that might come from lying (if any) only exists because people lie. Lying is a harmful vice. It's the equivalent of saying you should drink after a hangover. If you never got drunk in the first place, you wouldn't need to drink again.
Kranicc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think its more that in certain situations lying can save your butt. Say there was a man who you decided he wanted to kill you justified or not. You tell him a lie that gets him to not want to kill you. Now imagine that on a larger scale and people who are dependent on you being alive. Lies can be good in the proper context, even in an entirely honest world.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that its good and helpful in certain situation. I just believe that it does more harm than good.
Idk. If NOONE ever lied I think people would be a lot less touchy about the truth and everyone would have the best possible lives. Politicians would fulfill promisses, relationships would be honest
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:14:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feelings would be hurt, lives ruined, matters of national security out in the open...
baumee ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 14:42:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. Being honest doesn't have to mean just blurting things out unnecessarily. Also, it's still possible to keep secrets.
"Hey what was Alicia talking about just now?"
"Sorry, it was private, and I don't feel comfortable sharing someone else's matters."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:51:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a really good point! I didn't think about that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, isn't hiding something considered lying? You can attempt to keep it a secret but the moment an inquiry is made you would have to give it up, otherwise you are hiding or concealing it and that is considered deception. Just being facetious.
baumee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I don't think it is.
If someone's new haircut looks bad, I don't think it's lying to just not say anything unprompted. My silence wouldn't be misleading them into thinking I approved of it, which is really what lying by omission entails. People who would just blurt out, "Wow that doesn't look good on you," often pride themselves on being "honest" and think others just can't handle the truth. Really, they're just dicks. If the person asked me what I thought of their haircut, I'd say that I just wasn't sure it suited them, but if they like it, then rock on.
As for secrets, I think it'd only be lying if you came up with some random excuse as to why you weren't sharing information, or made up another story in its place. By saying you're not comfortable sharing, you're not denying that the conversation took place, nor conveying an untrue reason for being withholding, nor misleading someone as to what it was about.
tl;dr Lying by omission is definitely a thing, but only when it's done intentionally to mislead. You can still withhold without lying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
life already sucks for ugly people.
dchrisd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:52:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Regarding hurt feelings, there's a difference between lying and giving unsolicited opinions. If you can't handle the truth, you shouldn't ask for someone's opinion.
Zaiya53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch The Invention of Lying, it's great! & pretty relevant here!
zudomo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, they've studied this and politicians almost always sincerely try to fulfill their promises. They're often blocked from doing it, but they do try.
I don't think they would fulfil promises I think they wouldn't make them.
Ferelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That or everyone would be honest about shitty situations and lose hope. And hope is very important for us.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a murderer comes to your house asking you "Where is your best friend so I can kill him?", do you lie? Saying nothing means the murderer will kill you, telling the truth means your friend will die, but lying might buy you time to get the police.
That's sort of the classic argument against the categorical imperative. There are times when lying is useful, and some of those times aren't as extreme as avoiding murderers.
I think the bigger issue is solving asymmetry of information. Authority figures and powerful organizations can harm you just by not telling you something. To an extent it is actually useful to keep, say, the voting population ignorant of certain back room dealings--why do you think politics is so messed up nowadays? No opportunity to deal--but I do understand the sentiment.
See this part doesn't necessarily carry over 100%. What would change would be the politician's promises. Even with no lies, they could stay statements like, "If you elect me, I will do my best to legalize marijuana and institute socialized healthcare for all". They could define 'their best'.
Additionally, theoretically no one could promise to legalize anything given that it relies on the votes of others, so they could NEVER guarantee it, even if they wanted to in a world with complete truth. At best, they could say something along the lines of "I will campaign hard and push the vote 1% closer to the eventual legalization of X or Y issue".
It'd be like campaigning for a contract in the real world, you low ball everyone to give them something baseline that you are SURE you can do.
sfink06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever seen The Invention of Lying? Pretty funny stuff but it really does go to show you that the world would be strange if no one ever lied.
You mean pretty awesome? No crime (or at least less crime because people wouldn't be able to get away with it), politicians fulfilling all promises they make, countries not being able to hide their mistreatment of citizens, and infinitely more.
There's actually a movie like this, everyone is truthful and this man "discovers" lies and everyone believes anything he says because they don't think it's possible to be anything but truthful. There's a scene I think where he goes to the bank and is like "I need to take out 10,000$ but I don't have my card with me but there's enough in my account" and they just give him the money, even though in reality he was totally broke. It's an interesting movie.
dullun ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people are responding by brining up "white lies" to make people feel better (like saying they look good when they don't) but I haven't seen any mention of lying for your own protection, safety, and security, I don't think. I include financial security (like not getting fired) in here too. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, how can you fault someone for lying for those kinds of reason.
(Being queer and mentally ill, I'm pretty familiar with that kind of lie.)
Lol I've never hit a woman. But I don't think it's wrong for an adult human to hit an adult human that is striking them. Yet if you touch a woman, regardless of the context, people lose their shit.
I agree, but you need to be careful here. In some states if you're caught urinating in public and a minor is present you can be put on the sex offender registry. Overkill? Absolutely. But you gotta be careful about that stuff in today's world, man. People really over-react.
Also- I love going to the bathroom outside. I love going out into the forest to build a fort and finding a bush and PISSING or SHITTING into the open. I love wiping my ass with ferns, and it's so primal, so HUMAN- I love taking dumps in the woods, where no one can see me. I feel like I'm just another animal, surviving in the forest.
Only downside? Mosquitos on the ass. Oh, and sometimes I'll get piss on my boots, (I'm a chick, small downside), but fuck it, it's NATURE and my boots are waterproof.
10/10 would shit in the woods every day if there weren't so many MOSQUITOS.
Strangers asking me intensely personal questions. I'm seriously fine with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with, and actually enjoy, strangers asking me intensely personal questions, because in all likelihood I'll never see them again. I'm not okay with acquaintances asking me intensely personal questions because now people who I may see regularly have information I don't want them to have unless they are close to me. A stranger who will never see me again has no reason to use that information against me, whereas an acquaintance who is in my social circle might.
wiiv ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:16:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People asking me how much money I make. It's not only because I make a good salary, I didn't give a shit when I was broke, either.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:51:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
milkham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it only really matters if there's a big difference between him and the person he's asking. like if they suddenly find out starfirex is rich as hell, that could change things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I would be more uncomfortable discussing my high salary than my low salary.
elsif1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think people tend to do that if it's either way lower or way higher than their own.
Some people use income as a measuring stick, sort of to see how everyone lines up. I catch myself doing it, and I wouldn't want it done to me. I prefer to have friendships that are independent of either of our incomes. The longer I know someone, the less difference it makes though.
dchrisd ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 14:59:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at breasts / cleavage. It's one of those things, you aren't supposed to do, but I think its fine. I'm not talking about ogling / making someone uncomfortable, but a look is perfectly ok.
Meh. I'll regret this comment probably but I'm a 34H and I want you to notice! I mean I'm not tryin to slut it up but if there's a bit of cleavage it's probably intentional. I think most girls would agree? I'd hope. Maybe I am just sluttin it up ๐
For a lot of women with larger-than-average breasts, it's actually pretty difficult to find shirts and dresses that don't put on massive cleavage displays without also looking like a shapeless, unflattering muumuu.
Can't agree personally. I don't dress to flaunt my assets I wear what I like and what's cute regardless of whether it shows cleavage or not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never or most of the time? Isnt there sometimes where you like getting noticed by your sexual features? Most of my female friends told me that if they wear something that is really sexy is usually to attract a guy. Well different strokes for different folks i guess.
For me personally, no. I'm not looking for relationships, one night stands, or anything of the sort, so Im not interested in that kind of male attention and I'm not personally comfortable with it. Which is funny because I still like clothing that most would probably brand as sexually provocative lol.
Most of my female friends told me that if they wear something that is really sexy is usually to attract a guy. Well different strokes for different folks i guess.
Yep its def different strokes. But Im also guessing most of those women do that in specific spaces (like parties, events, clubs, bars etc) and not just on the subway or walking home.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup exactly that.Maybe age has to do with it as well. We were high school seniors when i had that conversation with them. I hope you dont get mad when approached by men. Its already hard for us to approach women and some of us usually judge by clothes if she wants some one to approach her or not(i should also mention that we do this in situations such as you said partys,clubs,etc). But that in your case sounds very annoying, i know id be annoyed if i was in your shoes.
No, as long as they're respectful its not a big deal. Just as I try to respectfully tell them I'm not interested in relationships atm, because I know rejection isnt fun.
Sure but not all cleavage exists because a woman is trying to "show off her tits". Believe it or not you can actually trust women and the things we say. We tend to know what we're thinking a bit more than you :)
I don't have one Lol. I just know What I like and What looks good on me. And highly necklines are rarely flattering on my body. also don't automatically sexualized breasts or women's bodies. That's your choice not mine ;)
I have a mirror. And I also wear minimizer bras to make my breasts look smaller, which is funny since people insist that im trying to show off my boobs lmao
Uh, there are mirrors and windows outside of everyones house, in cars, and people carry them in purses lol. Besides Okay but we're not discussing whether people want to "look good" or not, we're discussing whether we are flaunting our boobs for attention or not. And if that were the case it wouldnt make a lot of sense for someone to wear a minimizer.
it's actually a good balance of acceptibility, i think.
there's a strong urge to look, and a fairly minor penalty, so it's going to happen. but since it is somewhat frowned upon, people aren't going to be nearly as overt/creepy as they would be if it was totally ok.
If I don't notice, I don't care. If I notice staring or more than the occasional glance I'm judging you. I do find it amusing when I catch someone out with a glance and then he looks a tad sheepish.
Aaaaaand oftentimes it's those "looks" that make women uncomfortable. We always notice it.
EDIT: I had no idea Reddit was filled of so many sexist douchebags until this comment. I knew it had to come at some point! Try to put yourselves in our shoes for two seconds, fellas.
2ND EDIT: I've never had so many upvotes yet so many people angry with me online! Woooo! I'm signing off though guys, so save your statements for the next neo-feminist you find.
[deleted] ยท 311 points ยท Posted at 15:43:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
staring at cleavage is like looking at the sun. Too long and you might get burned. However, if you happen to have your sunglasses.... Game on! Just remember to use your peripheral vision!
Peripheral vision is noticing and understanding things that you aren't focused on, or seeing at a different angle than you are looking, also known as "seeing out of the corner of your eye"
Hmm, okay, i guess i used the wrong term.. Ive understood it as keeping your head straight or facing a different direction than your eye is currently looking.
This an example of why its important to be open minded. There is a lot out there that we're missing out on, and someone with a different perspective can illuminate a fuller picture.
I don't get why some women put on massive cleavage displays and then get mad if they catch you taking a peek.
Edit: I'm not saying that a woman wearing a shirt that shows cleavage is an invitation to be a creep. Not at all. I'm just saying that she shouldn't be surprised/uncomfortable if our eyes dart there quickly and inadvertently. Like let's say a woman walks up wearing a shirt that says "FUCK." She can't get mad at me if my eyes are quickly drawn there for a second before we go about our talk or whatever. Staring at a women's chest, cat calling her, winking, etc. is all harrassment/creepy, but subconsciously looking down at something that biologically catches your attention is hard to prevent.
Asorae ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 16:57:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For a lot of women with larger-than-average breasts, it's actually pretty difficult to find shirts and dresses that don't put on massive cleavage displays without also looking like a shapeless, unflattering muumuu.
No that's fair, and I'm not saying guys have any right to stare, but sorry if there are some big tits out and we take a quick look by accident. I mean it's like a biological instinct to see who's predispositioned to raise our young. We have social constructs to control it, but under all of that we're just some god damned savages who do our best to hide it.
I disagree. You absolutely have every right to look at something in public.
People need thicker skin. If you're in public, you will be seen. It's just the nature of the beast. If you're that sensitive that being seen while in public bothers you, then maybe you need to seek some psychological help for your insecurities.
Now, whether it's morally right to stare, that's a different story. But absolutely it is legally just fine to watch a person who is out in public with no expectation of privacy, at least, here in the states.
If a guy was in a wheel chair would it be ok for you to stare at them? Even if it made them uncomfortable would you say "you're in public, you will be seen. It's just the nature of the beast" It's in public and it's you're right to look at, right?
Legally? Yes. You have a legal right to stare. I can't for the life of me comprehend why they would be staring intently at a wheelchair bound individual, but yes, if you called the cops because someone was staring at you, you'd risk being cited for wasting police resources.
Should you stare at someone? I think you probably have no life if that's the best thing you have to do. But I don't think there's any moral high ground to the position of "you must avert your gaze from me in a public place where I have no expectation of privacy". You accept that you will be seen in public by going out into public. If you don't want to be seen, stay in private.
Speak for yoourself. You just single-handedly just took a shit on the entire male of the species. Yes we will look. As you said it's nature but we aren't savages for it. Women look too. Would you dare call them savages?
Yeah, women can be savage too. But you're right, it was a hyperbolic statement that could come off as a crass, but candid way of describing biological impulses.
Thank you for writing this! I agree, it's not okay to stare/be a creep about it. But quick glances happen. I find myself glancing and I don't even notice it until after I do it!
personally, i never mind a quick glance from someone. i wear low cut shirts usually for one reason only - they make my boobs look good, and i like when other people appreciate that. mostly people just give a quick subtle glance, but i've had guys just straight up unashamedly stare, wink, lick their lips, and make suggestive gestures towards my tits. the people who do that are the ones i hate, not the people who just look.
What makes that wrong exactly? Some guys are more subtle than others. If you want them to notice and appreciate then you take the good with the bad. What's wrong is to expect only some types of guys to appreciate you when you purposely draw attention to your tits.
Yes I already acknowledged that and they are both human behaviors. Nobody was hurt so none of it is "so wrong". For the record at a 44 I have yet to see a guy lick his lips while pointing at a rack. I mean the odds of that are pretty fucking low.
It's not wrong but if it doesn't happen you just get over it and move on. I am responding to someone who admitted to trying to draw attention to her tits and then it's wrong if someone glowers at those tits and shows disrespect. Nobody owes you or I or her any respect.
Someone always says this but what you're forgetting is that breasts aren't removable. I usually keep mine totally covered and I still catch people checking them out from time to time.
Evolution's a bitch. Let me ask you this, would you be happy if nobody checked them out ever?
berryer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I presume it's more comfortable to give them some air sometimes, similar to balls on a muggy day.
Being able to let your balls breathe in public would be awesome, but i get the feeling I'd be uncomfortable if people just stared at them all the time
Tl;dr - maybe it's for comfort, not for show
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:03:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I'm a woman and I do that. I don't know why, but this kind of shit just catches your attention. I mean, honestly, they're just big round balloons of fat hanging from our chests. Just get over it.
By all means wear it, but don't get mad at me for subconsciously looking down at the big tits in my face for a quick second. If a guy is staring with his mouth opened, it's one thing. But you can't get pissed if our eyes dart down for a split second, it's just instinct.
haha I think you'll be disappointed by my hairy guy boobs.
From experience, it's an instinct that can be controlled, and I sympathize enough with them to make the effort to control it.
Obviously if they don't notice it it's fine, I just don't think we should justify it because we encourage perverts to keep being such.
I'm not saying to pervertedly stare at all, and I can control my looks very well, but if some girl walks up with a huge display of cleavage, I can't help but to glance down. It's like if a girl came up wearing bright yellow shorts or a shirt that said "FUCK" or something. Your eyes dart there, and then you readjust to your situation.
Maybe but you can easily be comfortable without showing cleavage. Even if it's for comfort don't get pissed when a guy notices how comfortable you look.
Oh man this is the worst, especially when you talking to someone face to face and you never know where to look. I always end up looking down or up and if its a chick and I look down now bam! I'm a creeper. And it's always just for a second but they always know
I'm not saying stare, but biologically as men we have unconscious drivers that cause us to take a quick look when there are boobies out and flying around. Most of us control it, but sorry I can't really help it if I catch a quick peek. Girls would do the same thing if I walked around in spandex outlining my 13" flaccid internet dick
People stare at attractive people of the opposite set both ways. Women objectify men just as much as men objectify women. Look at movies like Magic Mike. Be a muscular guy walking down a street in a nice fitting t-shirt, and you'll get stared at a lot.
Entire industries would crumble if objectification of women dissapeared,but if the objectification of men dissapeared nothing would change in society.oh except we would lose magic Mike. You're just so used to women being objectified that it's normal and you notice the opposite more because it's abnormal.
The sex industry would be the first to go (porn, soft porn magazines, strip clubs, prostitution, trafficking if you consider that an industry). Almost every other industry that advertises would probably take a hit since so many companies rely on sexualized images of women to sell their goods. And any entities that rely on using women as props as a selling point would take a hit too.
The opposite would rid us of.magic Mike and thunder down under.
It's pretty standard to be objectified if you're an attractive guy too. I have my ass/arms/body grabbed by sexually frustrated cougs at bars probably as much as an attractive girl would get unsolicited dancing at a comparable bar. I'm going off the world in which I live, ymmv in different areas of the world of course, but casual objectification of men by women is laughed off as harmless flattery where I'm from. The girls in my social circle check out hot guys all the time, try and guess what he's packing, ask to feel abs, etc.
That's all fine, but I think his/her point is just that this doesn't occur on the scale that objectification of women does. Like they said, entire industries would fail if it were erased from existence.
At first I thought you were being reasonable but I'm starting to see that you are a bit of a fucked in the head white knight. You have aloud your thought to become entirely lopsided. You place women on a pedestal.
I'm a woman (I kinda thought my username would give that away but apparently not). I also don't agree w women on pedestals and nothing I said above even begins to imply that. I'm saying women 're objectified on more of an institutional ans even subconscious level, despite the fact that men can be objectified as well.
as a woman though, I agree. Women do objectify the shit out of men. "Oh look at that guy he's so hot!" Comments on nice arms and asses, what size he must be, ect. We aren't a holier then thou gender. We have needs and wants just like men do. Men objectify women, sure, thats true and many look at a girl and see a walking pair of boobs and vagina but you don't think theres a SHIT ton of women out there who see men only as sex objects either? cmon dude, modern feminism has gone too far on this.
Namerok ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:00:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...I'm a 22 year old male and workout a LOT and I personally think I am an attractive man. From my personal experience, everything you said is very true.
Source: Walked down the street the other day in a tank top and it was kind of ridiculous how many girls would stare for an uncomfortable amount of time and say things about my body/physical appearance and not even try to be quiet about it. I mean it's flattering...to a certain point. Then it just gets uncomfortable. Being a socially awkward redditor doesn't help the situation much either...
itsrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See when I want to attract more attention then tank it is. Then tank top then good shirt then normal shirt :)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:14:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for a constructive reply to the comment. It really helped.
EonMon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:52:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you seriously think he's wrong then you shouldn't be here anyway.
If you don't like being stared at don't go out in public. People are going to stare at other people their whole lives. That isn't going to change. Ignore it.
If you wear them like sweatpants, sure. If you wear them like they're painted on and they're the only threads between your body and the outside air, you're gonna get some looks.
I'm going to wear these yoga pants around all day BECAUSE they make my ass look hot. OMG!!!1! Why do the dirty old ugly perverts stare at my ass out in public?! FTFY.
Because they dress in that way because they like the way they look, not because they want people to ogle at them. I mean, maybe I'm being a stupid white knight or whatever, but in my head it's a pretty basic concept.
Don't for one second think that women dress how they do simply to attract themselves. That's it white night bullshit. Do guys go to the gym and get pumped just because they want to look good to themselves. Who is it that's driving the idea that this look is somehow aesthetically pleasing. Believe women have a lot to do with that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:59:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's a basic concept, and I don't think a woman should be harassed for what she wears at all, I was just pointing out that a quick glance isn't meant to make them uncomfortable, but that's it's often instinctual when we see large things we're naturally attracted to out in the open. That's all, I'm not defending cat calls, no ogling, but just apologizing if my quick glance at something on display that I'm attracted to made the woman unconfortable. It's not meant to make them uncomfortable, it just kind of happens and we move on.
alexds1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of your replies on this thread are really passive and deflective. If it bothers someone else but it doesn't bother you, and doesn't fall under your view of "harassment" because you've decided to blame it on your biological wiring, then it isn't a problem? Sorry, but that's a lazy excuse. By that argument, it would be okay to punch your coworker in the face for entering your cubicle, because you're biologically wired to defend your territory. Or to openly neglect one of your children because you're biologically wired to want to heap resources on the one most likely to succeed. Thankfully we have a huge portion of our brains that we can use to make our own decisions, such as listen to folks who say "however discreet or harmless you think you're being, this bothers me" and maybe make an attempt to think about and perhaps stop doing that. But maybe you're also biologically wired to block that info out.
What are you even talking about? You took my context-driven points and stripped them of their context. That's an easy, but irrational way of debating.
itsrain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree with what your saying. Checking someone out is completely fine... But can't go through life without offending someone. The odd person will feel uncomfortable from wandering half second glances. Oh well I personally don't care. I don't see the harm unless your staring on purpose.
Gals check out gals, guys check out guys, gals check out guys and guys check out gals.
Exactly! Thanks for seeing my point! I don't even know how she compared a half-second glance at openly displayed cleavage to punching my coworker, or abandoning my kid. It's asinine.
Valiade ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:04:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an incredibly hairy man I love wearing short bike shorts. Don't you dare look at my tightly cupped package though, you rapist.
This. For. Eternity. Always and forever. Show some cleavage and people are gonna glance. Whip your dick out and everyone loses their mind. Gender inequality is a bitch.
It was a joke. Didn't mean to offend. Here's another funny anecdote and true story. I worked at a summer camp as a climbing instructor. Even in 100 degree weather the men weren't allowed to work without shirts because the women couldn't do the same. How's that for solidarity :)
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you can't handle people looking at you in public - that's your problem. Get some help.
Men gross me out, and I don't want them in any context looking :(
You're the one that's being sexist here. Not having a certain gender look at you in public is not a reasonable expectation at all. Either you're a troll or you have serious issues.
Apparently you never check out men(or whatever you're attracted to) in any way or form. I mean, in a perfect world we'd all be naked and accepting of our bodies.
It doesn't seem healthy to constantly shame men for being attracted to the female form. There has to be a middle ground. We can control our actions, but forcing us guide our gaze away from you is as Orwellian as forcing women to wear burkas.
Obviously you might be less uncomfortable had the patriarchy and rape culture not exist, and noone was ever hurt because everyone respected each other, but I don't think this is the right battle to fight against that system that hurts everyone and makes this an issue in the first place
Imagine waking down a street and all you see are Ford fiestas, Honda civics, and Volkswagen passats. Then all of a sudden you see a Lamborghini driving down the road. You are obviously going to notice and look at the Lamborghini because it's not something you see everyday and because it looks a whole lot better than the other crap on the road. That's the least sexual metaphor I can think of for this situation. Attractive women naturally catch the eye of men and women alike. Yes, it's impolite to stare, that's one of the first things most children are taught. But I can't help but notice and, to an extent, admire a sexy lady walking down the sidewalk any less than I could avoid noticing a Lamborghini driving down the road.
I hope it helped. I try to avoid staring because I know it's a person with feelings I'm looking at and not a lifeless machine like a car, but it's near impossible to not notice.
Thanks for this. I'm being eaten alive here. I really don't hate men; some of my closest friends and family members are dudes. The staring just gets really old sometimes. I also live in a large city and deal with it at higher volumes, which is probably why I'm so sensitive to it.
dchrisd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:36:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking about a creepy smiley lust filled look, or a stare, or a hey my eyes are up here while talking stare, or anything else over the top, but if its just a look, there's nothing wrong about it.
Slak44 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:40:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only remember the times you noticed. You have no memory of the times you didn't notice, simply because you didn't. You can't have perfect awareness.
Sometimes its hard not to look, but I still succeed most of the time. Exception is when the woman is closed to present her tits, than a not-creepy-stare look is fair game.
Who is angry with you? I just looked through all the comments I could find off this post and it looked like every single one, for the most part, was civil at the least.
Try to put yourselves in our shoes for two seconds, fellas.
This is that typical self-absorbed female logic. "We're the victims, and I know this because I am a woman and have focused on perceived negative things in my life for my whole life. Put YOURSELF in MY shoes."
The reality is, neither side "puts themselves in the other's shoes" very often. That's because people are inherently selfish.
Here's a suggestion for you: Consider whether or not the male sex drive and mindset is biologically the same as the female sex drive and mindset. If you arrive at the answer, "yes," you are sadly mistaken. So mistaken. You'd be in for the shock of your life if you had to spend one day as a heterosexual male.
I mean, you're right in front of me. I'm gonna look everything, I can't have question marks on what's where. Or I'll never pay attention to anything else, I'll be distracted because of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
We do put ourselves in your shoes, and it still makes absolutely no sense. It's 100% fine and socially acceptable for a girl to approach another girl and remark on their breasts, whether it be in envy or simple admiration. Some girls even let other girls touch them without it being a big deal. Then here comes a guy, and he takes a half-second glance at them and goes on with his day doing or saying nothing more, and THAT makes you feel uncomfortable? If girls can openly take notice of other girl's breasts without discrimination, why do guys have to act like trained dogs in public all the time and pretend like they're not even there? Being offended and assuming that we're sexualizing your breasts based on a mere glance is only cementing the idea in our heads that breasts are a sexual thing. Maybe if more girls treated their breasts in a nonchalant way with guys like they do with other girls, we'd sexualize them less.
This topic is now exhausted for me, but I will try.
I've personally never really known any women that were just okay with other women fondling their breasts in admiration. That sounds like a schoolboy's fantasy as opposed to an actual practice that is normal amongst female friends. Let's say they do, though. It's kind of the same reason why I've seen a few girls let gay guys fondle them--they're not sexually attracted to the breast, so it's "safe." When someone is sexualizing your body, it's a different story. Even if a man is simply "admiring" them, the mere sexual attraction he probably feels is enough to make a woman uncomfortable.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:05:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I appreciate your thorough response and can understand what you're saying, we just aren't going to see eye-to-eye in this situation. I've learned my lesson with expressing my opinion on the internet.
tdt0005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't care. I'm going to look. Dress however you want, but if it's out in plain sight then it's ok for me to look at.
Stated many times in this post that I do cover up, t-shirts all day.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not when I have binoculars.
kelustu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:16:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So don't wear shirts that show cleavage? I don't get it. And no, that's not "sexist" like you say it is. If my friend was bitching that women stare at his bulge, I'd tell him to wear looser pants.
This is context dependent. If low cut trousers existed which showed off the top half of my dick and bollocks and I went out wearing them then I would expect people to have a little look at them. If you show off cleavage then of course people are going to look at that too. If you don't want anyone to see them then put them away. If someone is leering at your boobs then that's a different matter.
Dicks (reproductive organs) and breasts (not reproductive organs, even though they're highly sexualized in Western societies) are not equivalent parts. That analogy doesn't work.
Regardless, my point was that if you don't want somebody to look at something, whatever it is, then don't put it on show. If you're not putting your breasts on display and somebody is staring away at them, or if you are displaying them but they're leering at you in a way that they know would make you uncomfortable, then of course that's completely different.
EDIT - Also I don't know how you would "wave around" a vagina.
How do you 'wave around' a vagina (clitoris is what I was referring to, as it's partially external and actually is the closest anatomical analogue of a penis)? Walk while nude below the waist.
Anyway...women are not obliged to wear turtlenecks or high-collared shirts all year round if they don't want to be stared at. The larger a woman's breasts, the more of an issue this is, as a lot of corporate wear for women has low necklines. And dudes will STILL stare even if breasts are fully covered up.
How about the defenders of overt boob-ogling find a way to get their rocks off WITHOUT making it obvious? I'd support that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:17:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like, culturally speaking, people are taking it too far if they're getting offended by where someone else's eyes go. There's a certain point where you have to look at what someone has done that has made you uncomfortable and say "this is just how life is, this is just how people are, it's not worth my time worrying about this". I'm honestly getting worried that we're slipping back into a puritan way of thinking where anyone showing any kind of interest in sex will be looked at funny and maybe even shunned. It should be going the opposite way, where sex is seen as a less personally invasive experience, where someone can look at someone else's cleavage or what have you and it's not seen as an invasion of privacy because sex and sexuality is more open amongst people. Will people in the near future be required by societal pressures to wear blinders to keep from accidentally looking at someone who doesn't consent to it?
I worry about what the ripples of this closed off culture will create, I worry about how it'll change societal views of sex in the future. I don't want us to regress.
Why is it bad if anyone looks? Boobs are just part of the body, too. Also women look at men in no different way. What if you see someone working in the streets without a shirt. Would you not look?
Girl goes out wearing blouse that exposes her whole cleavage.
Same girl makes post on facebook: "OMG guys r such pervs, they always make me feel uncomfortable."
Cover up then. No one's judging you for showing some skin, but if you're uncomfortable with people looking your skin and you know you can't stop anyone from looking, why show it?
I don't want people seeing my hairy-ass legs, so I don't wear shorts. If you don't want people seeing your cleavage, don't buy plunging necklines.
If it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you should wear a higher top? I mean if you're wearing a low cut top, I'm getting the idea that you want to be sexually noticed. Not ogled and stared at, but a decent appreciative look to acknowledge that yes, you look fantastic today. If you're wearing a concealing shirt, then I don't make an effort to look at your breasts because it's not what you want. I don't know. I don't feel like I'm very good at this.
When you're not attracted to them...it's pretty off-putting. Would you like a sea of older, hairy, creepy men staring at you all day?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly wouldn't care maybe that's because I genuinely don't care how other people perceive me because I'm a sane and self-confidence individual, but I've been in situations where I've been surrounded by groups of older women who have fawned after me, I just generally don't see how its an issue. If I chose to walk around with my ass crack showing I can't get pissed off if people look and stare at my ass crack. Either comes down to one of two things you worried or scared of men or have social anxiety, and both of those are your problem not mine! I could understand being upset by people staring at you and being confused as to why but when you are wearing a revealing outfit and men are staring at you it should be pretty obvious to the conclusion as to why and if you do not enjoy that kind of attention do not dress in a way that is sexually provocative. People should be able to dress however they want by the way I'm just saying people should also be able to look wherever they want, it's almost as if you're trying to police people's vision.
I really don't care about others' perception either, I'm a married lady and totally comfortable and confident in myself. So that's not an issue. I also neverrr wear revealing clothing, I just get looked at a lot. I have big boobs that I do my best to hide under t-shirts and sweatshirts. I don't have any sort of social anxiety, I am an incredibly friendly and outgoing person. I am a lesbian woman though, so that's where this is stemming from. Men gross me out, and I don't want them in any context looking :(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK see you admit then that this all stems from a dislike or fear of men. How sad is it that you literally just said men are icky they can't look at me. But I'm curious of is how do you notice these people looking at you are you constantly scanning the room and if so what gave you the right to look at them? Basically all you were saying is that anyone I do not find sexually attractive does not have a right to look at me, grow up I've been followed by a car full of girls yelling out the window at me while I was going for a jog. Unlike you however I didn't cry about it or make it a passive aggressive post online I just went about my day because I don't give a fuck if other people look or think of me however they want to I do not have any right to tell those girls how to think feel look or act.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That is a big double standard. If women want to wear shirts that display a lot of cleavage, they have no right to get mad when guys stare at their breasts.
there's a huge difference between looking and staring. no amount of reasoning is going to make publicly ogling a woman not creepy and obnoxious.
it's like farting in public. it's natural, legal and a lot of people do it. but if you don't make any effort to be discreet, people will know what you're up to and they will think that you're gross.
dchrisd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:50:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what I'm saying though. I'm talking about looking, not staring. No one has the right to stare just because someone is exposing their body.
Stating no one has the "right" to stare implies there is law in place against staring, no?
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it doesn't, especially when this thread is about socially unacceptable things, not laws, and especially since laws were never mentioned in this thread, expect by your assumption.
The counter I've heard to this is "I shouldn't have to be stared at if I just want to wear a low-cut top."
What I don't get is why is that necessary? I don't have any huge need to wear a low-cut top. Is it different for women? I like wearing shorts in summer, but if people were staring lustily at my gorgeous calf muscles I'd say, "well, it was my decision to dress this way." What am I missing?
idk my response is that some people (women or men) have anxieties or even trauma that makes them easily upset when it comes to something as simple as being looked at in a sexual way. that's something I think is worth respecting.
That's you, though. A woman doesn't wear a low cut top for you; so that you can stare. She does it because she likes how it looks on her, or how comfy it feels. She should be free to wear what she likes without having to wonder whether the guy staring at her chest is going to leave it at that or not.
Oh yes just because someone is looking at your chest they're gonna rape you, totally. Fucking A dude you suck, you have literally the worst kind of mentality, it is not a crime to look at someone, and it is and should be totally acceptable
Please attack arguments, insulting people makes you look bad and your points invalid.
I agree that someone looking at a girls chest doesn't mean he'll rape her but there are a LOT of sexual attacks on females, just look up the stats. Therefore it's not unreasonable to understand why a girl would feel uncomfortable (I think we have a hard time imagining what it feels like to be physically weaker than people around us and there are a lot of males who abuse that).
Yeah I'm sorry I just said stuff assuming everyone was thinking of the same situation, although you're right statistically, I think woman would be more scared of strangers.
If you're going to argue, don't be a dick about it. I'm not saying it's a crime to look; I'm saying it's wrong to stare at a woman's chest because of what she wears. What you're saying is "This woman has worn these clothes for me, and she has given me the right to try and look down her top because she hasn't buttoned herself up to the collar."
I'm also not saying everyone who stares is a rapist. Of course not! But it's obvious that women are victims of rape far more often than men - not saying that males can't be victims of rape, or that those victims have suffered any less of a crime; just that women get raped more. Statistics show that roughly 3 in 5 women are sexually assaulted at least once in their life - before you call them liars, picture the five most important women in your life and try to imagine if even three of them would lie about such a thing. Can you blame people for getting jittery if a stranger stares at them with that in mind?
I'm not calling you a rapist for staring at a female, but I'm saying that it implies you feel entitled to enjoy that woman's body, visually at the very least, and when they sense that they'll be worried that you're one of the few who will take it further.
Couldn't get past the first argument. When a man checks out a woman more then 9/10 of the time he's not thinking they dressed that way for him. He's probably thinking damn she's got a wonderful form, i wish my gf had that body, or that shirt. That's it. in a minute they've completely forgotten that you've ever passed in front of their eyeballs. If you seriously believe men are lusting that hard over you then you need to check yourself because you're full of shit.
As for your statistics. They've all been criticized. It's been argued they are over estimating rape against women. Sex crimes against men are laughed at and their victims humiliated for feeling vulnerable. Any stats of men being abused are outliers and are so infrequently/inconsistently reported that it is impossible to compare abused men to women. The courts are significantly biased against men in terms of parenthood sex and consent.
You're making an appeal to emotion after using questionable statistics. I don't take you seriously at all.
If a man buys himself a porsche, I'm going to stare at it because it's a lot more aesthetically pleasing than a Ford fiesta. If a woman wears a low cut top I'm more likely to stare at her than a woman wearing sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. My eyes are just drawn to both the porsche and low cut top more than their less appealing counterpart, it can't be helped. I know some people buy expensive cars for their personal pleasure, but others buy it because they like to see people oogling over the car. Same with clothing, some women (and men) buy fancy clothes because they like how it makes them feel, others buy it for the attention it brings. Regardless of why you are wearing it, if you (or your car) look fine as hell, it's going to catch my eye and I'm going to admire it for at least a few seconds.
Okay, if you're literally staring at my chest and that's all you're looking at, I will get mad and pissed off at you. If it's a glance, whatever, I don't give a fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual Assult =/= Rape
That 3/5 stat, which I'm not even sure is true because you gave no source to back up is grossly distorted by the fact that sexual assault has a very broad definition.
She does it because she likes how it looks on her, or how comfy it feels.
Right, this was my question. Does it really feel comfy to wear a low-cut top? I don't feel that way at all, and I'm wondering how it's different for women.
As for "how it looks on her," how does this work? Is people looking at her top something she wants, or not?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
draekia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I totally get why some guys go topless or open shirt. But man the... Erm... Motion would get uncomfortable if I did the same.
Depends on who makes the top and who wears it, if that makes sense.
And I mean as in they like how it makes themselves look. People like clothing that makes themselves think "I really like how this makes my stomach look flat" or someone else say "I love the pattern on your skirt".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's hot out, I have a really hard time understanding how a low-cut top is not for someone to look at. Maybe not me, but some good looking guy, sure. The whole "I'm dressing uncomfortably because I like to" shtick is horseshit. It's for someone. Not for everyone, but for guys she wants to attract.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 16:00:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i dont actually know what was wrong with your last sentence, i am not an english major, i understood it, i dont agree with it fully, but i understand that some people are just jerkfaces and cant keep their stupid derogatory things in their brain to themselves. so that is why that last sentence exists... :(
Opie59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a woman, an individual.
What? What does that even mean? They were specifically talking about Women.
Wear a cup then, or else youre asking me to kick you in the crotch everytime you look at my breasts.
As a homoflexible female, i dont wear low shirts for you. It's probably hot outside or i look hot. My body is mine- i owe you nothing.
You are totally fine. I looked it up on Urban Dictionary for the giggles, and it isn't too far off. Basically, I have always loved girls. I am a huge huge lesbo. However I currently have a boyfriend. It took me four years of being incredibly close friends with this guy to get over the "this is a boy. a male boy" thing, but it happened.
Basically: "I'm gay, but shit happens." I am not going to let something like gender get in the way if I find a person who makes me feel safe, comfortable, and happy.
Bisexuals acknowledge attractions to both genders. The difference is that I identified as lesbian before this boy comes along. The idea of men does not excite me. I really have absolutely have no interest in men. As a gender, I am not at all attracted. As a person, my partner caught me and has held me captivated for years as I got over his gender. A bisexual would say "eh, boy, cool" or something. I had to kind of ease myself into it by getting myself used to "being with" a boy because I love him very much. It's honestly really hard to explain because they are pretty close. Does this make more sense?
Well considering almosy everyone else responding to my post, agreeing with me, is either a female or a male with a boyfriend?
Also i think i can lightly stereotype if yall can call me a fat as fuck cunt with a used and loose vagina.
Dont be an arsehole and expect me to be polite no matter what.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are just the people who feel strong enough to reply. The voting could come from anyone, of any sex, and you have no idea who they specifically are.
As for the fat as fuck cunt comments, two wrongs do not make a right, and stooping to their level, even if it is a light touch of stooping, puts you in the same arena as them. Hell, I've been looking at this website long enough to say you have 50/50 shot of them being some troll trying to stir the pot with anyone talking about a touchy subject.
Fair enough. I just got sick of the comments. Im really sensitive and, while I was cool for awhile, they got to me. I know, im soft, but I'm human. Ive been taking a lot of shit. Hearing how "sub standard" I am from someone who hasnt seen me was a final straw.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:08 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I apologize for what I said. One of the things I don't like about the net is how everyone has a mask on their face. They'll say shit they never would in person, because they're protected by that computer screen. They never understand there's an actual human being on the other side of that screen.
Thank you. It's amazing how much that means to me. I apologise too.
I agree with you. The Internet allows some really ugly sides to come out of people. I have snapped at very few people of the Internet (at my two old schools I was cyber bullied often) because I always found it incredibly... embarrassing, the balls people grow on the Internet that don't carry out into real life. I had this one guy relentlessly degrade me online, but in real life? I told him to back off from bullying my friend and find something better to do, and he nearly peed himself! This was eigth grade me, so i didny swear or any of that. Internet grants a lot of power.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:37:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then be prepared to get bitch slapped when I get off the floor...
If a dude walks around with his balls out people will stare. Can I walk up and punch all of them? Men are biologically attracted to women and specifically to their breasts because of cave man thinking and the theoretical ability of a busty woman to be healthy enough to feed my children properly...
When a guy looks at your cleavage, most of us aren't claiming you're wearing it for us, but if you're wearing a low cut shirt and you're busty, we'll probably glance and you should probably realize you made that decision to put yourself out there.
FOR THE RECORD
I am NOT making the stupid leap that many idiots do that a woman with a low cut top or short skirt is a skank or is inviting harassment or rape. That is stupid flawed logic.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:46:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but as long as I maintain my distance you have no right to do anything to me. You wore it so you should be ready for the response.
So do you use that rationale to reason with rape? The whole "well she was wearing..."
It is fully possible to see the top of boobs and not stare. I was a queer girl in multiple sports. Locker rooms get personal. I never even glanced at a woman's boobs, because it's creepy, i have no right to do it, and it's rude. I would look around if i lost something and obviously see naked women. I never stopped my scan to stare at their chests. Doesnt make sense to me.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:54:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think what he's saying is that you can't respond to a wayward glance with assault and battery.
I think people are a little too quick to forget just how subconsciously we do these things. At the point you've been checking out the tits long enough to notice, you've already been subconsciously doing it. The eyes are looking there because your body knows what it's looking for. That said, having a "proper stare" is completely on you.
As a female and a middle-aged mother, I always get caught by other mothers for checking out their cleavage (like at the PTA meeting at school lol). What can I say? I think cleavage and breasts are sexy as hell, and I often check out other women's.
You didnt? Boys will be boys! They can't control themselves! (But don't say that if you're a woman because then you're sexist and have a low opinion of men)
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because its not mine, doesn't mean I can't look, especially if it's out in public and easily available to look at. And again, I"m not talking about staring, I'm talking about a quick look / glance.
Just looking can make people uncomfortable too. I see people looking me up and down sometimes and I hate it. Or even just glancing at my chest.
I'm just saying it's not really your choice if it's acceptable or not because that's not your body. I'm confused as to what's unclear about that.
dchrisd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:00:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that its not my body. And I understand that some people might be uncomfortable by it. I'm just saying that it doesn't make someone a bad person to take a quick glance.
For example, moving away from breasts, imagine two people standing in line near each other. And the one in front, whether they be male or female, attractive or not, is wearing short shorts and they bend over; the person behind is going to look and I don't think there's anything wrong with that if its just a glance.
It's not about violating someone's privacy, invading their personal space, or making them uncomfortable, its just one of those things that happens and its hard not to look at.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I see a nice pair of boobs in the street im gonna look. I dont care.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disclaimer: I am apparently a cis/het shitlord but I identify as a feminist.
Dressing in sexy clothing is nice. Looking good makes people feel good. Being noticed for looking good should be a happy thing but some guys just don't have the self control to avoid staring.
That sucks for the ladies because they don't want to feel like sexually objectified by every guy they see. It sucks for us guys too, because that behavior turns us all into Schrodinger's Rapist. Two sides of the same coin as far as I can see.
(I'm open to hearing other perspectives as long as they don't come from anyone who says, "Well she's putting them on display so I can look as much as I want")
dchrisd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:19:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I'm saying only a glance / look is ok. I don't want someone to feel bad for my own gratification, but a quick glance / look shouldn't hurt anyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I notice women who have features my body and brain find appealing. I can't apologize for that. Shit, I notice guys who have features I would like to have. Not apologizing for that, either.
What I can do is just be respectful to everyone I meet. Some woman going to the club doesn't want me staring at her chest any more than an amputee wants me staring at their stump.
I agree with you, by the way. Glancing/noticing is okay. Staring is not okay.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they should be able to wear what they want. And they aren't always "presenting" their cleavage, yes, sometimes its for show, but sometimes its for comfort, and sometimes its just because they like the top.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot for a second that clothes were for comfort... ^(Ihavenoideahow) ... Thank you, sir.
If you think all cleavage exists because the woman in question wants to advertise then you're sorely.mistaken. but then again I don't automatically sexualize body parts just because they happen to be on a woman.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same goes for parents who have genetic issues that they could pass on to the baby. But no, you're not allowed to say that because it's not fair.
When a parent KNOWS they have something like Huntington's Disease and yet they STILL choose to have a child even though it's a 50/50 chance, I can't help but judge, I just think that's unspeakably selfish and evil. They could fucking ADOPT! But they choose not to and potentially inflict this terrible illness on their child.
I have absolutely no issue with incestuous relationships, I'm fully supportive, but I do agree with the reproductive side and that it's not right due to the increased risk of genetic abnormalities.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing for old people. If you're 40 and just settling down don't roll the dice on an autistic kid adopt any of the ones looking for a good home free of abuse.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reproduction is something else entirely IMHO because it lowers the gene pool and is outright unhealthy. I would encourage incestious families to adopt a baby instead. Thanks for the subreddit rexommendation, but I am already a regular :P
And people that smoke cigs around others expose them to carcinogens that i'm sure they don't want to be exposed to. And unless you are right next to my face, you are not going to get a second hand contact high outdoors. I wish my shit was that stronk.
Why do you have to be a dick though?
Saying I'm embarrassed and would prefer not being laughed at would have gotten people not to do it, threatening and being a jerk will make people not give a shit about what you say.
KRZman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's still funny though. I often find myself laughing when it happens to me as well. The mental image of how it must have looked just cracks me up
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:12:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a disabled/elderly person i don't see a problem.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And why is it a problem then?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nurse by profession and that's just not funny.
Jigsus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and I don't see a problem with beating your ass if you do it.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:33:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can try. :)
kanst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the exact opposite. I am going to be incredibly embarassed either way. I would at least like someone to get a laugh out of my predicament.
wntf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sunny day, sitting in the bus driving home from school. im about to fall asleep and just glare out and observe the people standing at the bus station. there it is, a banana peel just being there on the ground, getting some tan.
after what felt an eternity of watching that woman with about 4 grocery bags in her hands walking towards the station i couldnt believe my eyes. the first time in my life i witnessed how this suicidal fruit has laid someone to the ground so maliciously. i felt so bad for having a grin on my face for at least 5 minutes.
i always thought its a myth that you could actually slip on those.
Incest. As long as you aren't squirting out kids I don't give a shit.
LeaChan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:30 on August 3, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people don't seem to know what incest is. I had a friend who was completely ashamed because he had a crush on his STEP-sister. If there's no blood relation, there's no incest, and even if there is some blood, who cares? My mom won't let me around my cousin because she found an email of mine saying I had a crush on her when I was 13 and she was 10, she said I was an incestuous pervert who should be thrown in jail. Like, really?
It started out with religious significance, then it became culture.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone ask "hey James how are you doing today?"
I usually respond like "good"
I never really ask how they are doing...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're in Europe, where people usually actually want to know how you're doing.
PsTakuu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Listening with headphones in public (even if the event is music-based)
*I don't have anything against other selections; I live in the midwest and good electronic music is hard to come by.
*Local shows where families can go out and listen to rock/country cover bands are awesome; I just imagine that the music in my ears is the commonplace music and everyone is hearing that from the cover band and just enjoying it like I do. I wish the Omaha Symphony played some Markus Schulz or Andrew Bayer every once in a while, but they don't. To see that badass setting with music I love... there isn't many options!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping soup. It really doesn't bother me as much as it bothers other people. I try not to do it though since I know people hate it. Plus I'm Asian and grew up around it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Telling a server that the food wasn't good. I'm by no means an asshole about it as I understand the server has literally nothing to do with how the food tastes. I just try to be as frank and honest as I can. People will have such a hard time saying anything except "oh it's really good!" even if they literally were just talking about how bad the food was, because they don't want to be the person who complains and sends food back.
Look, everybody knows the server didn't cook the food. They know it. You know it. They know you know it. As long as you don't talk to them like they did, it's not a problem. By complaining about the food you are helping the restaurant. That's why you'll watch a show like Kitchen Nightmares and see a business owner say "our customers love the food!" even as the business is literally collapsing before their eyes. No, your customers are lying to you because they don't want to make their server feel bad. Most people would rather tell you your food is good and then never come back as opposed to giving you honest feedback so you can improve. It happens when hairdressers all the time. People will say "Oh I love it" and never be seen again. Stylists live on regular clientele, and if you don't like how something looks, 9 times out of 10 they can fix it. I have no problem telling my stylist to take a little more off when she thinks she's done. Because that way I can actually like my haircut and go back to her again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating during a class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All you guys that complain about this? You're assholes.
I see a nipple for 2 seconds on my way to lunch, and a child is fed.
WHO IS LOSING HERE?
Olduwan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping when eating ramen, because that's how it's meant to be eaten. You cool down the noodles and catch more soup if you slurp.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Being sexually promiscuous
As long as it's safe, sane, and consensual, and you aren't going behind anyone's back, I see no reason to not have as much sex as possible with as many people as you can find.
You only have 80-ish years in your life, may as well enjoy them.
Giving kids straight answers about sex and their bodies. When you give a child unambiguous terminology ("this is your penis/vagina, these are the uses, you came out of mom's womb, etc") you give them agency over their bodies. It also creates a situation where they understand what kind of touch is okay and from whom and a clear-cut way to describe what happened if God forbid someone tried to hurt them.
Prying, personal questions. As long as the person prying is also totally open about their personal stuff.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People between age 14-18 having sex. I lost my virginity at 14, my brother lost his at 12. Neither of us are any more fucked up than 80% of the people here on Reddit.
Also vast age gaps, my parents are 19years apart and they make it work.
I say this as 23y/o I'm not some pervy old man who wants to fuck teens I just find it silly how fucked up our age of consent laws are in the u.s.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:53:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
90% of the people in my high school started having sex and doing drugs in sixth grade. A few of them got scholarships to pretty good schools.
Referring to someone as fat or describing them as fat. "have you seen so and so?" "who the fat guy? NO." How is it offensive to call someone who's fat, fat? It's like someone calling me a red head it's what I am.
Things that are useful or make good sense but are "tacky" just because an outdated etiquette rule says so. Just as an example, I've heard a ridiculous uproar over couples who register for contributions to a honeymoon instead of gifts. Because it's "traditional" to ask for a $100 gravy boat but "money-grubbing" to ask for $100 toward a trip.
Whether I'm meeting with friends or colleagues, it doesn't bother me when someone is late. I'm not the most organized person, so it makes me feel more relaxed, and I always have something to keep my mind occupied. Besides, their being late gives me the early "advantage," if there's something at stake.
joybles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flip flops and jeans wherever you go. Loud kids in public. Spanking kids in public. Nursing in public. Generally imperfect family life in public.
People get super defensive about it and I completely understand and respect their decision to keep that figure private. However, I've never had an issue with sharing (it's hardly anything to brag about) and I've personally never had a problem with knowing how much someone makes. So you make in one year what I do in ten? Congratulations on being successful, that's cool, but it's not hurting me. I feel no indignance about it. On the other hand, if somebody earns less than me, I might, if anything, feel more inclined to help them out a little when the time comes. Maybe that's the wrong way to think about it, I don't know.
I don't feel like I "deserve a cut" whether I know them or not; they have no obligation to share their money with me, and as such, knowing the amount they make really has no negative impact on me.
It just seems to be such faux pas to talk about personal or family income these days, and it often makes talking with people about purchases (especially big purchases) more difficult than it needs to be.
Most kinks and fetishes. I don't care what gets you off so long as it involves consenting adults. For whatever reason, people feel comfortable enough around me to tell me their secrets and as a result I know people with some pretty unconventional kinks. It's fascinating, how much is out there thanks to the internet. Unless it edges into non-consent or involves minors, I'm not one to judge.
bubonis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Physical retaliation against someone "weaker" than you, most notably fighting back against women or minors. If someone assaults someone larger, older, or stronger than them, I have no problem with that person wiping the floor with their attacker.
Lyeta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:59:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being in a long term relationship without being married.
You know what, we're not god fearing, we don't have children, it doesn't make a difference tax wise. We don't want to deal with the insanity that is the wedding industrial complex. We don't need to get married to demonstrate commitment. We've been together longer than most married couples we know. We have a lease and furniture. We have a dog. We know where we stand.
But to most of the surrounding world, my relationship is less 'real' or 'permanent' than someone who gets married after knowing someone for six months.
Shioui ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going out alone. Drinking alone. Smoking a whole bowl alone. Going out to dinner alone....
Telling people who do their jobs poorly that they are doing their jobs poorly. If I'm on a team and one person thinks they can skate by because I'm an overachiever, you're goddamn right I'm going to call them out on it and see that they correct the issue. Real life's not college, and you cannot expect to get carried through your professional career, or to have your bosses commend you for doing the bare minimum.
I see this shit all the time in early 20 somethings, thinking they are special and above the requirements that everyone else on their team meets daily. Those people get fired real fast.
leaving the toilet seat up. literally couldn't care less. i'm female and don't understand why so many women get upset when men leave the toilet seat up.
Rhuey13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going ANYWHERE barefoot. Why the fuck does it matter? My feet are as dirty as your shoes and I can wipe them off on a mat too.
Being honest to the point of rudeness. I can handle people being a jerk or not liking others points of view. I can't stand people playing nice or fake agreement.
Leaving without saying goodbye to everyone at a party. Nothing drives me more insane than deciding to leave with a twenty minute lag time that includes the following:
-The Leftovers Dealer: "Let me just pack some of these potatoes for you!"
-The Social Director: "Oh hey, we're hanging out tomorrow right? Can we push that to noon? My cat's eyebrow waxing might run late."
-The Nosy Susan: "Oh if you're in the cat wax neighborhood, would you guys mind picking me up those catnip wax strips my Mitzi likes?"
And
-The Eulogist: "Lunalives, I just want to say I'm so happy to see you - it's been so long. Last time was Will's birthday when we were holding his hair back and I just thought you were the best friend [...] I wish we saw each other more, why don't we?"
Soulsie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food after it falls on the floor.
2dark4u ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying n***er in a non derogatory or racist way. It has turned into such a widely used term, and I am of the belief that using words this way strips them of their bad uses. I dream of a day that it stops being a bad thing and becomes just another way to say; mate, friend, chum.
Psilocybin mushrooms. They offer the most enjoyable high, have absolutely no hangover, are not addictive, and are nearly impossible to overdose from, not to mention if they were legal it would be literally as cheap as dirt. I have also read studies that suggest they may be less neurotoxic than prescription SSRI's. I mean its crazy they are illegal. Furthermore still, you don't even need to take that much a single gram or two is enough to get a nice long lasting high without visual hallucinations, its extremely pleasant in low doses, and can be prepared as you would tea or eaten with chocolate with little to no taste.
Not saying 'bless you' after sneezing. Seriously, it's totally pointless.
gfjq23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:27:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. Not the crazy religious thing were old men marry 10-year-olds, but between consenting adults I really don't care. I'm not polyamorous myself, but if you are and want to be with or marry multiple partners you are A-OK in my book.
hearing food or drink chewing/slurping over the radio or in headphones is by far 100000x worse than hearing it aloud in person, something about it being amplified and blasted into your ear makes my fucking skin crawl.
Body hair on females...I'm glad it's seeming (at least in social network land) to be becoming more socially acceptable in the US, and I hope it continues and grows (pun kind of intended). If you want to shave, or wax, or whatever, by all means, do it! But it's disgusting how often I hear of guys demonizing gals for having armpit hair or what not...
It really is sad. I just shave my armpit so it cuts down on the sweat smell, but I never keep it clean shaven, I let it grow until I notice the hair is getting slightly thick and then I shave it again.
Completely fair and understandable reason...I had a guy tell me once that he would break up with his girlfriend if she grew her armpit hair out...while I was sitting with my hairy pitted GF...He wasn't directing it at us/her, and she didn't hear him say it, but I took him aside to call him out/talk to him about it. He genuinely seemed to understand what I was saying, and hopefully it got him to think about some things...but ugggghhh
Oh wow. I really hope he thought more about what he said, and maybe changed his mind on it later. Glad you called him out, so he could know how you felt! :D
podocks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping, farting, sneezing or blowing your nose in front of people. These are natural bodily functions, grow the fuck up you prude.
Smoking. I don't do it, but if we're to believe that adults are free-thinking and capable of making their own decisions, they need to be allowed to do as they wish.
It's a social expectation here in Melbourne as well, we just have many unpleasant people who stand in the middle, stand by their friends and block the path, or just have bags sticking out, such that when you run past and knock the bag, they get huffy.
I really couldn't give a shit about who marries who - as long as the parties are legally able to give their consent and there's no weird tax or other legal shenanigans being pulled. If those requirements are met, as far as I'm concerned, you can have a husband, a wife, or six of each, if you are so inclined.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I can't think of many occasions where I thought someone was under-dressed.
Who cares if you iron a collar? Wear a black t shirt to a job interview it doesn't matter. Wear sandals, who gives a fuck.
I would absolutely not be bothered if Obama held a press conference on a hot day in sandals, a button-down short sleeve and cargo shorts
Laughing at a funeral. Things never need to be so stoic, note to future mourners, when I am dead you have my full permission to have a blast in front of my corpse. I never went through life seriously, why force people to feel sad? They should look back at my life with happiness
Level21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling someone you feel depressed or that you may need psychiatric help. No one fully understands the human brain and suicide is such a real tangible problem that it saddens me that no one wants to talk speak openly about that sort of thing.
A mental ailment can be just as dangerous as a physical one. It is brave to acknowledge that and seek help.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:00:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Referring to someone in a politically incorrect way without actually trying to be offensive.
I was at a cousin's daughter's high school graduation party a few weeks ago when in the course of conversation I mentioned the name "Bruce Jenner". It was practically a scene out of a movie with the music stopping, everyone turning to look at me, and a pretentious 18-year old bitch lecturing me on how offensive I was.
I've been a fan of Jenner long before his step daughter rocketed to stardom by getting fucked on a sex tape by a C-list rapper. Throughout that entire time this person was referred to as Bruce. I understand she goes by Caitlyn now but after several decades of saying "him", "he" or "Bruce" it's going to take me a little while before I instinctively use "her", "she". or "Caitlyn".
I clearly wasn't belittling her so I think the polite response would have been to simply ignore the slip up but if you're hell bent on rectifying the mistake then I think a simple "obviously you mean Caitlyn" would have been acceptable to which I would have said a simple "yeah, of course" then continued on with my life.
If a person isn't trying to be a dick and just made a simple terminology mistake then let it go.
No, I am not calling you ugly or improperly dressed/made-up, I am inquiring as to your well-being, as I am somewhat, to very, concerned about your health, as a colleague/friend/pal/arch-nemesis.
When people mention another person's skin colour to describe them.
Apparently that's unacceptable, but like, that's what they look like. Here's an example. One time I was working at Home Depot and I got a call from the front staff saying someone needed a hand in the seasonal department. I asked what the person looked like and I got, "Uhh he's a guy...kinda tall...wearing like a uhh brownish jacket, and uhh bald." All nervous-like. I get to seasonal and there's a 6'5", shaved head, black-as-night guy, looking for help. My point is, you really couldn't just say: "He's the only 6'5" black guy in the store,"? I don't give a shit what colour you are, but don't purposely leave that out when describing someone to be "socially acceptable."
nilok1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An even better example of this mental condition happened at my old job. I worked at a not-for-profit which had a lot of progressive-types (not a good thing or a bad thing) working there.
Our annual fundraiser was a public event of about 20,000 people. There's a team dedicated to reuniting families b/c with this many people kids always get separated. The team all have walkie-talkies. They fan out and always find the kids.
One time the call went out to find a kid who was "a nine year old boy who was not white." repeatedly the team asked the dispatcher if he was black. The dispatcher kept describing him as "not white"
So, here you had a person in charge of describing the lost kid and felt it was improper to include the actual color of the kid but felt it was preferable to say what he wasn't.
This is wrong on many levels. Not white could be black, Hispanic, whatever. Now even the most PC person in the world would have to concede this is a special level of stupid.
It sucks that we can't simply describe a person without fearing a repercussion. Especially when "not white" describes literally more of the world than "white" does.
shonuph ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping out on family events.
It's not like it's torture, but sometimes I just don't feel like going, and that's enough for me to not go.
My girlfriend having sex with other people. I don't mind if my girlfriend wants to get screwed by another person. To me, it's only sex. At the end of the day, we'll be together since I know she loves me. If she leaves me for another guy, well it's good I found out sooner rather than later that she can't resist temptation.
It's socially acceptable for my wife to openly talk about how cute a kid is (even to the parent), but as a man I can't even look in the general direction of a child without catching evil looks.
I think this is a problem sometimes too. A man should be able to acknowledge how cute some kid is without being made to feel like a potential pedophile. Most of my friends with or without kids are fine with it but I see it more often with acquaintances or strangers. Too little trust.
Having my girlfriend pay for her meal, or even treat me out to eat.
mcmlxiv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:26:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannabis in public.
UK based, but I have zero problems with it whatsoever. Smoked a metric fuckton of weed (roughly), whilst at uni and have toned it waaaaay back since leaving but I honestly couldn't care less. Usually it signals that someone's about to have a nice chillout or a right laugh. Whatever the outcome, I usually find it non-violent and easy to deal with.
Plus, what with it becoming a 'socially accepted' drug (sort of), I don't see any harm in it being smoked in public. We used to hit up parks and just chill with notepads and creative things so we could work and be outside. Never bothered by others, not once. My ONLY stipulation is that if you smoke, weed, cigarettes, whatever, you make a conscious effort to keep it as far away from kids as possible. It's no avoidable all the time, but if you can, do.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:48:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If the dad divorced you/abandoned you and left the kids, you should be PRAISED for keeping the child and raising it on one person's salary.
That dick abandoned his own child. A horrible thing to do. You didn't. You didn't dump it on the grandparents. You didn't dump it on the aunts and uncles. You didn't dump it in foster care. You didn't adopt it out. You took responsibility. You cared for the kid.
Our culture euthanizes millions upon millions of dogs. Their bodies are dumped into the trash and left to rot. Either that or cremated.
These people also kill dogs. But they at least make good use of the bodies. At least the bodies are used to help humans and bring pleasure into the lives of humans.
Their method is vastly preferable to our own.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I don't think people are going to want to eat a lot of the dogs that are out down. Yes, they put down healthy dogs but there would have to be standards for how he dog was raised via the FDA before you just start serving dog meat. That would mean dog farms, which I'm not okay with.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:51 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It wouldn't be crueler. But you can't really grow a few chickens raise them and sell them to a store. You can sell them to other people for cash the same way you sell a dog.
It's not socially unacceptable per se but here goes
I have a severe stutter that at times makes speaking impossible. So I learned ASL to better communicate when speaking is impossible.
A friend of a friend is totally deaf, from birth, and when he discovered I used ASL but could hear, he and a bunch of his friends who are deaf confronted me about appropriating deaf culture, how I can't use ASL and blah blah blah.
Fuck them, I still do it. Sometimes I can't speak so well and if I can communicate with my friends via ASL I'm gonna do it and the deaf community can lick my stuttering ass
Wait... how do they expect to communicate with the non-deaf if they dont want them to use ASL? also, that is a brilliant way to deal with that issue
KrayC23 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:46:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay if someone makes a statement in a manner that isn't politically correct. Speaking ONLY on my behalf, I don't mind if someone is not politically correct because sometimes really tough subjects aren't available for open discussion for fear of impacting social relationships. Race, socioeconomic status, values, beliefs, etc. are topics that are effected by this. Sure I might not agree with hate speech but I give power to those words in how they impact me. Words only have power if you let them effect you. To each their own though!
I don't think you'll find a lot of disagreement on the general principle, here. I think the major contention comes from cases where a government official speaks incorrectly, or where a state's choices are misconstrued as some sort of widespread restriction or ban on private behavior.
KrayC23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:26:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But even then, that has stipulations to it as well. If a government official speaks incorrectly on their own behalf expressing their own personal views, I don't see that as something people should condemn. You find out more about that official. Is it something you might not agree with? Then express it with your vote. There is a difference between being politically incorrect and being misunderstood as well. A misunderstanding should be given a chance to clarify themselves that way their message is properly understood.
IMO, if someone isn't PC when they speak, it seems like you're getting a more 'honest' answer.
KrayC23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I view it ideally. If I had to choose between a PC answer or an honest answer, I want the honest answer. That's what I'll do. I'm not going to be disrespectful about giving an honest answer but I'm not going to let PC get in the way of how I want my message interpreted.
I dont know, you dont need to be in government to get mobbed by society for being politically incorrect, these days you pretty much just have to sneeze.
Fuck that, I'm not just okay with people being politically incorrect, I hate the idea of political correctness. It is so stupid, "hey, uh you can't say that thing because it makes me feel bad" "Well I'm sorry, that you are such a pansy asd bitch."
KrayC23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you say something that I don like then I'm going to move on and agree to disagree! No need to waste time getting upset about something. It's okay to have different views and opinions in my eyes.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally can't stand when people say Indian or "American Indian" instead of Native American. Makes me think they're ignorant and uneducated.
KrayC23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:01:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have learned the difference between the two and also refer to them as Native Americans. That to me isn't being politically correct but rather knowing the difference between the two. I get that when the Americas were explored, explorers thought they were in India hence the reason why Natives were referred as such but now that we know that the landed in the Americas and not in India, I believe that we should only call them Native Americans. Those who still call them Indians are ignorant if they don't know the difference which I can deal with because they aren't informed but those who know the difference and still call them Indians make me see them in a not so positive view.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, I'm not even native American (my username) and I find it offensive. After forcing nyself to make the distinction between the two, when my dad says something about the old west and says Indians I think to myself for a second, "Wait, what do Indians have to do at all with...oooooohhh, that stupid mess."
I would agree if you said it was nonsensical but offensive is a bit sensationalist. Terms get attached to things illogically all the time the origins of words are full of nonsensical development, people still use them though because people know what they are referring. I know it doesn't really count but I am 1/32 Cherokee and the term doesn't offend even 1/32nd of me because its not an insult.
I say Indians sometimes and I am aware of the original misunderstanding. But lots of words, names and labels have nonsensical or bizarre origins, it doesn't mean they didn't develop into part of the vernacular. Nobody thinks Native Americans are from India when they say Indian so its not spreading a misconception, its just a word that people use because people know what others are referring to when they say it.
KrayC23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you talk to me on the subject pertaining to Indians, I'm going to assume you mean Indians from India because that is what Indians are know as. If you were to correct me and say you mean the natives of the Americas, I would not change my stance because you weren't using the correct words. Using the word Indians in exchange for Native Americans is a form of slang. Not everyone would understand what you mean when your slang has a different meaning than the original word. There are plenty of people around the world who wouldn't understand the slang because there will be people who understand the word for it's original meaning.
Also, teaching the difference between the two helps kids in school distinguish between who Indians really are and who Native Americans really are. I'm certain that there are kids, as well as people, who get confused when learning about the subject because there are some that think Indians as from Indian while others think Indians are also Native Americans.
Just because a word may be nonsensical in the manner that it was used doesn't mean that we should just accept it as "just the way things are." We should ask questions and find out why things are the way they are. Yes words are used in different contexts and understandings based off of how one interprets the word. My view is that the word Indian came from a misunderstanding because explorers believed they were in India, but now that we as a society know that they in fact were in the Americas and called them Indians based off of explorers believing that they were in India, we should refer to them by their proper title and not off of something that they are not. (Sorry for the run-on sentence.)
It's like traveling abroad and accidentally calling a Irish person Scottish. Just because you thought they were Scottish and continue calling them Scottish doesn't mean that they are Scottish. They should be called by their proper title and not by a misunderstanding or misconception. At least that is how I see it. Eliminating an misunderstandings or misconceptions is what I try to do so that whatever message I am trying to convey is taken in the manner that I meant it.
TL;DR: I call them Native Americans because that is their proper title and only refer to Indians as such because that is their proper title. Using Indians in interchangeably with Native Americans is a form of slang and changes the way the original meaning of the word leading to misunderstandings. Also sorry I'm on mobile :(
Ya I mean I see your point, I share it and agree Native American makes more sense. But it's a little different to mixing up a Scottish person with an Irish person because when indian became a wide spread term it wasn't used in confusion it was just the term people used. Now that we have an alternative we can use it, and it should be the official term and thought in schools which it is. But that doesn't mean someone using it as they are used to is offensive. When abroad of course I use Native American for clarification. Most of the time when I use indian it's because the context of the conversation is clear and it won't cause confusion. Also sometimes when I feel links saying 1 word instead of 2.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:43:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PC
Like, I cant say paint that wall black.
I now have to say, Jamarcus, please paint that wall.
Urinating in public. As long as you are not putting anybody else in a predicament where they are forced into looking at your dick or vagina, and as long as you are peeing somewhere that the ground perforates, so that you don't end up with stagnant dried up smelly piss.
I agree completely. I lived in a nordic country for a while, and it was generally (socially, perhaps not legally) permissible to piss in a park, so long as you didn't make a show out of it. I was in California recently, and I was warned that I could be charged with a sex crime for it, and that people would report it. Damn piss police.
Truth about CA. Had a friend get convicted as a sex offender for peeing in park. They said he might have exposed himself to kids... Apparently the fact that it was after midnight on a school night didn't mean anything...
Actually now that I think of it, it might just be a US thing in general. I was in Florida in February, driving across the everglades and there is no where to stop for a piss, so I just decided to unzip in a little nook off the road. Within 10 seconds a wildlife officer stopped in his SUV and started yelling at me. God forbid an Alligator sees my cock I guess.
That's what I was told as I was cruising down the freeway with a friend, painfully trying not to piss myself. I saw a little green space and I suggested pulling over.. After hearing your story I'm glad I didn't.
I've pissed on the side of the road before. Realistically as long as you're far enough away or hidden enough no one will care. If it's a busy free way in a metropolitan area or you're clearly flashing people you MIGHT get in trouble.
But that's mostly because people would hardly notice if they're driving by and also there would have to be a cop right there to bust you before you bailed.
I agree. Who cares? I had this bus driver who would always stop at this one place, he'd walk to the rear doors and piss on the side of the road. When I told people this, they would freak out, but I did not care one bit. At least I would get to my destination faster than if he stopped for a real washroom break.
I think you either have to accept that you have people peeing in places or build some fucking facilities to enable them to not do so. If you don't fund it, people are forced to break the law because they're within a few miles of an area such as a village that means they cannot pee because there is no toilet they can use.
BrStFr ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:34:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I barefooted for two year for lent. It's absolutely amazing how different places feel when you can feel the texture of the ground beneath you. It sort of makes you feel like you're going through life sedated or blindfolded otherwise.
Absolutely fantastic, would recommend.
BrStFr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want me to bare my soul about why I like to bare my sole?
In a literal sense, doing socially unacceptable things. That doesn't mean being a twat I mean say a guy wearing high heels in public or a black person doing "white things".
Essentially breaking these norms to me, it what drives progress or makes for a conducive environment to discuss why these things are "bad". This leads to a critical analysis and judgement of such norms to see if they are really worth keeping.
Hitting a woman as a man. I'm not condoning domestic abuse, but if any person is attempting to do you physical harm, and you feel unsafe, you should DEFEND YOURSELF AS NECESSARY
For some people asking about money and salaries is rude, but I just don't see it that way. It's not going to affect your paychecks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This kind of shit drives me nuts. If you're ashamed of your salary, don't work there. You SHOULD tell your salary, as it helps all involved in the long run. Th is kind of thinking only helps employers and ruins unions.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:11:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living with your parents and not paying rent unless they ask for it.
I don't see why its socially unacceptable. If I met a girl my age who still lived with her parents I wouldn't care. Their living situation wouldn't effect what I think or feel about them.
Agreed. If I lived in the same town as my family, I'd live with them. They're better roommates than many I've had.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:26:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sending out thank you notes. Idgaf if i buy something for somebody's kid's birthday and i don't get a thank you card in the mail. I know they are thankful. No need to waste paper, stamps and time.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:29:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay none of these are terrible so I'll say this: Being friends with pedophiles.
Note: NOT child molesters. I was molested as a kid but it wasn't that bad but if it was more serious I could see that fucking someone up. However, if people just think kids are sexy I really don't care. Just don't touch, and don't fucking stare. Also, don't say anything to any of them. Outside of that I don't care. Just don't bother anyone.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:53:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This place is littered with questions prompting us to relive our favorite childhood memories and bitching about adulthood.
"I'm 34. I'll let you know when I feel like a grown-up" is a running gag in these parts.
This attitude permeates real life as well. For example, cargo shorts & t-shirts are now the uniform for every age group. Timberlake and I are the last of the suit & tie guys.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:07:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yea, nostalgia is a thing on Reddit.
Also, for a grown up I'm surprised you don't keep your suites in the closet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like you could fit a whole suite in a typical closet!
Someone didn't believe me when I said I dressed up for baseball games like it was the 1950s. I hung my suits on the curtain rod since it makes for a better photograph.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:39:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, no offense, you're going to far in the other direction. Hats haven't been in since people started riding in cars. You're literally wearing fedoras and wearing suits to baseball games. Style changes, you don't have to get sloppy but style is relative, not absolute.
You don't even own a tux or I don't see a white tie and tails, you're soooo unfashionable. /s
Edit: don't buy like 10 suits, by one good one that will last preferably blue.
Why do you care how other people dress? I'm a 23 year old lesbian and I enjoy khakis and a t-shirt as much as the next guy. Just because you like wearing fedoras to the grocery store doesn't make you a higher class person.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Muhguul ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:04:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a label, the dude fucking wears fedoras. Look at his picture.
ZMPL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the only thing I really miss about being a kid was not having to worry and/or not having the same responsibilities that you have when you're an adult (having to go to work etc.) Other than that being an adult is awesome!
Jesus Christ, do you just re post hundreds of successful AskReddit questions on AskReddit? I took a look at your history and there's like a hundred for the past week.
I'm ok with being an adult, just not with how fast everything goes. I feel like in the blink of an eye I went from "oh you have loads of time" to people pretty much expecting that I know what I want to do with my life. I have a job but not a career yet, I have a long term relationship but I am nowhere near ready to marry anyone, I sort of want to take a masters degree next year, I am 26, and feel like I should be in my early 20's.
No clue what is causing the down votes. I don't think I was off topic or offensive.
pillow forts.... Meh, and I didnt play the floor is lava.
But FARTS?!?! I still find every one funny!
maz-o ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:40:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to be surrounded by childish idiots.
BunzLee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a little harsh, don't you think? There are a lot of people that are childish to some degree, some more, some less. That doesn't make them idiots just for having something that appeals to them that you don't agree with.
Yes it does, the more intelligent and experienced you become the less tolerance you have for childish twatishness.
Reddit is filled with childish goons who think they are being cute with their lego talk and milk and cookies crap, completely unaware that normal people are judging them precisely because that stage is fucking immature and infantile.
Its not cute its not funny its just pathetic and appeals to those with no actual sophisticated creativity.
"Hey look at my building a pillow fort in my pyjamas at 21 aren't i cute quirky and funny?"---no you are an infantile underdeveloped moron.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I see a pic of your fedora collection?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:00:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but you can see a pic of his "I hate feminism" collection.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:21:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. I recently saw a lovely moment with a mom and her little one. It's was hot outside and baby was hungry. They were laying down on the blanket. She was stroking baby's hair while baby fed. It was so sweet. It wasn't sexualize or disgusting just baby and mom sharing a moment. Awe.
Yeah, came to say the same. Some farts are fucking gross and I don't want to smell that shit. If everyone just went around farting everywhere whenever they wanted, I would be pissed off all the time.
I fart a lot so i cant leave the room every time i fart. And most dont smell. But a few do smell and that sux. On occasion ill eat something bad and i really have no business being in public because my farts melt paint. I love to fart, and i thik they are hilarious, especially if timed well. But if someone knows they are going to blow like that and still let er rip, that acceptability is certainly up for debate.
Consentual incest. They are just two adults partaking in action they both agree on. They should avoid getting kids (unless they are cousins, then the threat is small), though. Attempting to have kids with close relatives is irresponsible.
Expressing every sexuality in public (as long as it is consentual, obviously. That means that pedophilia and zoophilia are off-limits for me, drawing the line there is hard). Even in 2015 there are people making a hassle out of two homosexuals kissing or holding hands. Why would you care?
Eating dogs, cats or other domesticated animals, as long as it is not someone's pet. If somebody (though I don't know why) wanted to eat their deceased pet, then I am okay with it.
Breastfeeding in public. I find babies hideous, but that does not mean I want them to starve because of some laughable social construct preventing them from getting fed.
Talking about "inappropriate" things like sex, religion and politics in mature company. It makes people feel more comfortable when they can afford to be open about themselves. Hiding stuff like that is sometimes annoying, I know from experience.
Etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in (northern) Virginia so it's still pretty common, if maybe starting to wane a little, but it always surprises me when I go to other states to see peoples' attitudes towards smokers. I don't smoke, but I have never been bothered by it. It seems strange to really be bothered by it so much as to treat the person in some cases as a second class citizen. Like fuck, just walk past the person. You're exposing yourself more when you have to stop and confront the person. Yeah. /rant
When people complain 'can we not discuss this while we're eating'. Honestly, I'm able to eat just fine. Hearing whatever people seem to find so uncomfortable doesn't bother me or ruin the food.
Toadxx ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:22:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't mean you have to completely disregard and disrespect that person, if what they're asking you to not discuss is within reason. Source: Sister at one point decided to discuss her newborns shitting habits. I asked her to wait until I was done eating, because, shit is disgusting. I am promptly yelled at for being "rude".
Just because you don't experience something doesn't mean other people don't, though. I mean, if talking about disgusting things while you eat doesn't ruin the food for you, that's great, but it doesn't mean it can't have that effect on other people.
But the question wasn't "What socially unacceptable things should everybody else have to put up with", it was "What socially unacceptable things are you ok with". Obviously if nobody minded hearing people talk about gross stuff while they're eating it wouldn't be socially unacceptable.
It's not a conversation I'd start in the first place, but the point is I wouldn't complain if someone else talks about it. If others are unhappy then they can speak up, but as an answer in this thread, I'm OK with it.
I am so easily repulsed. I can't help it. Please don't mention that something gross could have happened to the food cause I'll gag and there is no turning back.
YES! This is the best answer I've seen. I do not understand how this works for most people. If someone was explaining how they just had explosive diarrhea while I was eating, it wouldn't bother me at all.
If someone talks about roaches when im eating ill ask that they stop immediately. I have in the past lost my appetite, and thats a bummer if youre hungry and just spent money on food. its a real phobia stemming from dealing with way too many of them in the home i grew up in.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:31:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Open relationships. It's a confusing concept to many people
Smoking cigarettes. I've never had a desire to do it, but I don't give a shit if someone around me is going to do it, so long as if we're in an enclosed area they open a window or something.
Not sending thank you cards. I think they are pointless. I tell someone thank you for whatever they did, that should suffice. They shouldn't also have to have a stupid thank you card.
So I lived in NY for a while and people just are on the horn the minute it turns green.
In Washington state, they "pride them selves in being polite drivers." which essentially means they don't like to honk at people. That's the interpretation I got from many people.
So people here don't generally like to honk. Now that is what people say. What happens on the road is different.
Interesting! I do it if it has been a few seconds but I generally try to give them a moment because I know that sometimes a person can miss the light changing.
Telling people the truth about not why you are not attending an event.
mivipa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going out alone has a huge fucking stigma. I lied to my mother and told her I was going to meet friends at the mall. I was alone. Because fuck other people. I'm just trying to pick out a nice tie and a new belt, why should I call up friends to do that with me?
Once I ordered a shot of vodka at a wedding. Bartender refused to give me that. I asked for a screwdriver and she gave it to me with no problem. As if adding extra ingredients makes something more socially acceptable, or less alcoholic.
Peeing outside as long as you are trying not to be obvious and rude. Like on a tree or grass, not like on someone's house
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:29:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a fist fight.
While I prefer that everyone just talked out their differences, some people get so deep in the emotion that it becomes inescapable to the point where they just need to duke it out of each other. If both parties are willing we should just let them fight it out in a respectful manner. And we as a people not involved in a fight should be acting as referees, stepping in to prevent permanent injury and preventing an unfair fight.
Sometimes you just need to have a good fist fight, let it all out, and then have a beer afterwards.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS so much. The societal rush to absolute pacifism is against the intrinsic nature of humanity. Without reasonable violence you get what we have today: misbehavior from children whom never mature as they age; bizarre behaviors that are bordering on delusional but tolerated because of a live and let live society.
People need beatings. To get them, to give them, when appropriate and a lesson behind the action. The British quote Shakespeare and say "cruel to be kind, in the right leader's and hell yes it's true.
Letting children walk to the park by themselves. Letting children play in the park by themselves. Letting children play on the sidewalk by themselves. Letting a kid stand outside by himself in the hallway for a few minutes, if he's been misbehaving. They don't need to be supervised by adults 24/7.
Leaving a child by him/herself at home for short periods of time, provided that the oven is unplugged and the matches are locked away. Leaving a kid in the car by himself for short periods, so long as the windows are rolled down a bit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents let me play at the park alone and nothing bad ever happened to me, because my parents actually taught me to not talk to strangers!
Spanking your child for being an annoying mouthy brat. If my son mouths off to me and throws a fit, your damn right I will sway his bottom and tell him to quit being a spoiled brat. It's discipline, not abuse.
ibs2pid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:01:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I am sure I am going to get downvoted to hell and RIP inboxed for this, but here is mine. Hitting a woman in defence of yourself or another. People are so quick to say "YOU SHOULD NEVER HIT A WOMAN!!!". I disagree. I have been working in bars for over 16 years, all over the US. I have worked in areas where the women are way more mean and more likely to swing, punch, slap, and thow stuff and sometimes, they are bigger than me (not very often, but there have been a few). Now, I am not saying I have never hit a woman. In over 16 years of working in bars, I have only ever hit 2 men, and in defence of them attacking other people and then going in and swinging on me when I tried to stop them. I am trained in martial arts. I know holds, chokes, and other ways to subdue. Not a lot of people are though.
I have seen a couple of bouncers and many other guys (bar goers) get socially cricified for laying out a drunk ass woman who started fights and wouldn't relent. You know what, she deserved it. I don't say a word and I don't even judge. Now I am not saying hitting women is acceptable. Hell, I don't even think hitting a guy is acceptable. Self defence is a whole different thing though.
I don't know why people are so against using whatever means nessecary to stop a situation that has the potential to not only bring harm to themselves, but to other people, because it is a woman doing it. If it's a guy, people will call you a pussy for not decking somone when they push you. If it's a woman, you get screamed at for draggin her out by her arm roughly because she is swinging a broken bottle at somone (<---actually happened).
Again, I don't condone violence against anyone, but this whole thing needs to stop. Sometimes a woman, just like a guy, needs to get popped when they are trying to hurt people to put them in their place. You all know "those people". Sometimes that is the only way they learn.
Babies making noises or crying in public. It has never bothered me to hear or see children in restaurants and makes me feel kind of bad to see the mom or dad anxiously trying to hush up their little one from uttering a peep. I do understand that it annoys other people and I get it but it has never bothered me. Actually sat next to a screamer today in a restaurant and I took notice of everyone else who hated it by the looks and reactions but it didn't bother me.
I'm probably lucky though. My daughter is so good in public as long as she is fed and has a clean diaper.
Taleya ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:28:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sharing a bed with your partner.
Seriously, I'm talking just sleeping here. His Lordship is a morning person, I am a night owl. He works a steady 9-5 shift, mine wafts around from 9-5 to 10-6 to 12-8. He's an insomniac who's easily disturbed and who frets he's gonna wake me up tossing and turning (despite me being able to sleep through an atomic detonation), and I'm a gigantic doona hog (we have separate doonas. Key to a happy marriage, people: separate doonas).
So sometimes he sleeps on the big fat futon couch in the loungeroom (The couch is actually two beds because the aircon is in there and fuck melbourne summer), and sometimes I do, and sometimes we share, and it's really not that fucking big of a deal. There is no marriage death here, just two hardworking fuckers who like getting good sleep.
I think not asking about cost for things people do, like salaries or a particular purchase, is silly. How else are you supposed to be able to plan doing it well yourself if you can't seek input from others who have done it before?
Being politically incorrect--if the only reason you can come up with supporting something is to be politically correct, reevaluate the entire situation.
Cash bar at a wedding. Had one, don't care. People could drink or not as they chose. We had one keg of free beer, and free lemonade/pop/water.
IMO no one's owed free booze at weddings, and it's hugely expensive to have a free bar. I regret spending $8k on the wedding that we did have, would have rather downsized.
I manage a bar and probably do 15-20 weddings every year and it's rare we ever do one that's open.
workfoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people the truth.
Aroha11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with this, however, is that your opinion is not the same as 'the truth'. If you think someone is ugly or stupid, and say it to their face, you are not speaking the truth, but merely express your highly subjective opinion.
I always feel like a burden if I share them, but if anyone wanted to talk to me about one I would be down
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that fairly accurately describes me as well. My adoptive mom works in child protective services, and she and I have an understanding that many people just aren't prepared to believe some of the darker corners of the world exist. Having seen one or two of them each, we relate really well on that level, and I think that's great.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of enjoy being around people who say politically incorrect things. I feel like I'm open minded in the true sense of the word, so I don't mind being around most people, even closed minded people.
Airyll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not answering the phone or a msg. Then later say it was 'Upstairs, downstairs, on Silent, etc etc'.
Tipping less than 20% or not ruling at all if the service warrants it (and before you say, yes I have worked in a tipped position... worked for a pizza delivery company making $5.10/hr)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texting at the table. I don't do this except in case of contacting someone in the group who is late/planning to show up later, but a lot of my friends do it and to be honest I don't really mind as long as there is intermittent conversation.
Keeku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking on the phone while going through a checkout.
I worked as a checkout operator for 5-6 years and it never bothered me when a customer was on the phone, as long as it didn't slow my line down (which it rarely ever did). Others consider it extremely rude though.
Farting. Cmon guys, everyone does it, and it's unhealthy to hold it. Just consider farts as separate entities from the people that make them, and you can enjoy/hate them together.
This may be kinda kinda gross but incest. Not like mother son or siblings but between cousins/uncles/aunts. My belief may be helped out by that time when i was younger and i accidentally hard core made out with my cousin... But its ok! I didn't know she was my cousin at the time...
I'll tell you what I'm NOT okay with. Chew with your fucking mouth closed. I don't want to hear or see what you're eating. I'll get up and leave the room/table.
Treating women like men in all aspects of life. It irks me when I see a show like cops and the guy hit her back after being stuck multiple times, and they take him because he is a dude with s cop saying she's smaller than you or some shit
That doesn't mean I don't try to treat women with respect, but that shit pisses me off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, you should treat everybody with respect. I get it you earn respect blah blah blah. But I'm not gonna go around being a dick to a stranger for being a stranger. Have manners, act like a human.
Letting my house be a little messy, looking "lived in" when having company.
I swear, the people who insist on making their house immaculate every time they have a couple people over don't have any fun. It makes guests feel less comfortable too imo cause they're worried that they might mess something up.
Dating/being attracted to a guy who is my height. Why does every fucking female friend of mine have to ask me if the guy I'm into is tall? Who gives a shit? ** Edit: I'm 5'6ish.
My dog rubbing his arse on the carpet... It's acceptable because he doesn't have opposable thumbs. It's not OK when lapdancers do it on me... I can only imagine those little white worms... gross
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walking around naked.
It's a human body, we've all seen them before and we all have one (Except Brian, but he's weird). Who gives a shit.
Mental illness. They honestly can't help it. As long as they're not hurting anyone it's fine by me that they're bat shit crazy. I'll laugh if they say something funny, but I try not to laugh at their situation, that's just sad...
That shit is the dumbest thing. My dads girlfriend is an enforcer of this, she just kinda stares and whispers to my dad. I swear one day I'm gonna throw my spinach at her face
MurDoct ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not saying good morning to people. If I'm already having a shitty day at work and its 7am I might not be having a great morning.
Women keeping their body hair intact. It's a pain in the ass to shave half your body every day.
mnjiman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being truthful (and with that as complex as needed to describe situations in detail.) Not in the sense of "being blunt and too the point" but just being open to my perception to certain occurrences and how I recall events. If I am in the negative light when I recall a situation I still attempt to communicate those situations. In those situations I am not actively putting myself down with negativity, but rather actively admitting to the real faults I have and actually improving on them.
The down side to this is the level of detail I tend to relay to others and the complexity that may come with it... most people find it more acceptable to summarize events even if details are sacrificed. I find this dishonest and I find it odd that its unacceptable to be detailed.
DasXero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coming over to my house whenever,
If you come over you burp or fart,
If you come over you do you and I do me and sometimes do us,
If you need to leave just leave but lock the door,
Calling me anytime day or night,
I honestly could go on because I dislike most social standards.
Breast feeding. Not sure if it is completely socially unacceptable, but some freak out at the sight of it. They have a child to take care of, get over yourselves people if this is what makes you uncomfortable.
Incest. I'm not drawn to engage in it personally (I don't think my sibling is physically attractive), but there are lots of things I'm not into, like feet or getting peed on. Why does anyone care?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding in public. Not wearing a bra. #freethenipple
Beyond obvious things like religious hangups and 'it's icky', social revulsion to bestiality stems from the logical question of consent. An animal cannot consent with absolute certainty, and sex without consent is rape.
But if you're dealing with an animal that naturally starts going to pound town when you assume the correct position, that's fine with me. Have fun. As long as you don't have to do anything beyond letting it know what is being offered and fine-tuning their aim once they get going, that's sufficient consent in my book.
Eating someone's leftovers, like the other day I went to see Avengers 2 and noticed someone had only ate a bit of a twix and left all the thing behind, so I just grabbed it, no ragrets.
I will admit that I have grabbed an empty popcorn bucket out of the trash and wiped it out then gotten a free refill. I also once found a cup on a bench, snagged that shit, washed it in the bathroom, got a refill, lid, and new straw.
If they are going to offer free refills on Large items, I will do my best to partake in someone elses. ;)
c_rbon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with BO. I mean if it's many days old and can be smelled 10 ft away, ok, go take a shower, but otherwise, it really doesn't bother me, and I'd rather smell that than the scent of toxic, sickly sweet anti-perspirant deodorant.
There are times when me and my kids eat our meals in absolute silence.
It's fantastic.
I also stab my fork into my meat as if it's going to jump off of the table while it's being cut. I look like a total caveman but I'll be damned if there's a better way to cut meat. (There isn't, folks. Your dandy ways don't work for me.)
When people chew with their mouth open.
I don't do it, but I don't care at allwhen other people do (I don't even notice unless someone else mentions it). Usually when this comes up on Reddit it's a fairly unanimous "Hitler wasn't as bad as people who chew with their mouth open".
rohho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking the remaining milk from your bowl after eating cereal. Why do people expect me to spend 30minutes spooning that shit out when it takes two seconds to drink?
Nahteh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about touchy topics. I really don't get it, more specifically I don't understand how people are so controlled by emotions.
I like talking about Politics, religion especially when someone has a different view. Death, a lot of people don't talk about those who were close to them who died.
These sort of topics while done in good manners, make me feel like im in a real world. let's be honest, If you can't stay calm during conversation/debate you should stay quiet and let the adults talk.
Farting, belching (when you're not doing either directly on people), not saying excuse me when you do either of them, picking your nose (so long as you're not showing the contents to others or wiping it on things aside from something like a tissue), pointing your finger at people or things, talking above quiet volumes in public, crying children under a certain age (probably about 7), not smiling in pictures, and announcing if you need to be excused to pee or shit. Adjusting your testicles when the underpants get wedged around them (if done over the clothes and without playing with yourself or trying to draw attention). Adjusting your bra from over the clothes. There are probably more, but most of these things are rather silly with how offended people get.
Oh, right, one more. Picking a wedgie out of your ass in public. You want me to walk around with my underpants and pants wedged between my ass cheeks making me walk funny until I can find some secluded spot in private to tug down on the fabric at the area below the butt cheek from over the clothing? I find forcing people to walk around publicly like that more offensive than seeing someone quickly re-adjust themselves. It's particularly offensive when it's someone making a fuss about someone in a pair of board short style swimming shorts that's got the lining wedged in their ass after going down a water slide. Get over it.
Picking my nose when not In front of someone. Burping. It's harmless. Both feel great. Especially when you get a big one. Applies to both.
Heckfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking with kids. Like seriously, after I took a child psych class kids genuinely interest me, they're a lot more capable then people think they are. And no, not walking up to random children in public. More like small chatting or anything. Granted, I tend to not do it so I don't get labeled as a sex offender.
:\
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I really don't give a rats ass who you fuck. I personally wouldn't touch anyone in my family but if they love each other why the hell should I care?
rikus95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've talked about this before, but mild forms of female circumcision.
I am from Singapore, and was circumcised as a baby. Mom said I cried out when the midwife cut the clitoral hood away and snipped it and cried for awhile after, but then I was fine and I never acted like it bothered me.
I've never had trouble with sex either and enjoy it very much.
The west's attitude towards female circumcision often makes me roll my eyes. I can see being against the severe types, but the mild types aren't any worse than male circumcision (which many of these same people have no problem with).
Cheating. I dont even bat an eye when an unavailable man talks about fucking another girl.
Sometimes it surprises me how it literally never phases me at all
pazur13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laughing without a reason. Whenever something reminds me of a funny situation, I have to stop myself from laughing because if I would, everyone would think I'm some kind of a lunatic.
euphwes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about salary, or general money stuff. I don't really get the big deal in general, though I suppose I can see how it might be a sore point for many people.
Being pestered to talk/hang out, I like overly clingy people (as long as it's not psycho-iwillfindyou-andiwillkillyou-ifyoudontreply-level clingy), it makes me feel more comfortable around them.
How was your weekend? So I was wondering about the TPS report. Here's some background about why I need it rather than me just writing one sentence asking you if you have it. I hope you enjoyed wasting your time reading this paragraph,
Basically anything actually. I don't care at all unless it directly hurts myself or someone close to me, barring that do whatever you want to yourself or others.
ixfd64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Regifting holiday-themed items after the holiday season. My mother thinks it's a major faux pas, but I'd be happy to receive any present regardless of the time of the year.
As a girl, boys leaving the toilet seat up. Actually, I'd prefer it stay up whenever it isn't in use so guys who are lazy don't piss all over it when you leave it down.
Sterilizing humans. If you have the genes that are undesirable (Alzheimer's, DOWN syndrome, dwarfism, etc) you are probably living a pretty shitty life or have experienced discrimination because of it. There's nothing you can do about it but would you want your offspring to put up with that too? Now I'm not saying people with bad genetic disorders shouldn't have children but instead of making more people why not adopt some of the children that have no parents and give them love knowing they'll grow up with love and care that you can provide give.
badanas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Everyone is talking about manners and such. I was going to say cannibalism. You're dead, you're dead. Ammirite?
Tebuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. There are still stigmas in some parts of the US when a woman breastfeeds in public.
1st: Some how its dirty (most of us know where that came from)
2nd: Covered is better but oh my gosh you are in public. "Trashy" is the term I guess.
3rd: Whip it out and put it in the baby's mouth uncovered is an abomination and will drive men to sexual thoughts and well .... that is dirty.
leaving the second you wake up when you've crashed at someone's house after a party the night before.
Seriously, the party is over, i allowed you to sleep here because it was helpful, now leave so i can get on with my day.
Conversely when I leave the next morning, no you haven't offended me, no i don't need a cup of tea or a biscuit. yes i did have fun i just want to get home, have a shower and a nap in my own bed before getting on with the rest of my day.
All of them. No word of a lie, I have no social filter when it comes to expectations. Not doing something because you're afraid of social stigma seems stupid to me. Go with the flow and do what makes you smile.
Skipping the small talk. I have a friend that goes through the whole "how are you how's your job how's your family what's new" spiel when she just wants to ask a favor/question. I just find it boring and unnecessary. If you want to ask me to watch your cats for a weekend, just ask. Skip the "tell me all about your day!" shit.
No different than mothers doing drugs or drinking during their pregnancy. If that's the only legitimate problem then there is nothing wrong with gay incest.
Edit: Also abortions would solve fucked up babies since America is so pro choice and women's rights.
Drugs and alcohol while pregnant are already illegal or strongly advised against.
And gay incest doesn't make them pregnant. A woman can't get a woman pregnant and a man can't get a man pregnant. So that argument you made is fucking retarded too.
and the abortion argument is stupid too.
Maybe know a bit about what your talking about next time huh bud?
You have trouble reading at school? Because you literally have no comprehension of what I wrote. It's like people who are replying to me don't bother to actually read what they are responding to.
Why are you so simple minded? Drugs does not 100% mean narcotics or illegal drugs. Taking pills(drugs) it can have bad affect on the pregnancy. Once again, taking drugs are not illegal while pregnant.
Like I said, your reading comprehension sucks and you misinterpreted everything I wrote in my last 2 comments. It would feel like a time waste explaining it.
And you completely ignored what I said yet again because you refuse to be proved wrong.
I'm done with you. Maybe one day you will learn that you learn more by admitting your wrong sometimes.
crrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
inbreeding =/= birth defects.
inbreeding with some pre-existing bad genes/defects == birth defects.
Inbreeding does exactly what it seems like it would-- It simply spreads the genetic material of that family. If there's some defect/bad gene, it will be from both parents, and therefore it will be both the dominant and recessive gene. This means it's simply more likely to spread a bad gene compared to "outbreeding", as a bad gene could possibly be the recessive gene instead.
Now pregnancy, that's the real problem here. Pregnancy creates a major conflict of interested, and an STD is detrimental to a family's gene pool.
I am simmering. You cannot possibly compare the two. Gays are consenting adults. That's the point-it is none of anyone's business what someone's sexual practices are. A child does not consent to incest. You could care less what people do? And if someone breaks the law? Say murders someone? Sells drugs to your 10 year old kid? Rapes your mother? Or so you not care as long as it won't affect you? A narrow view of the world indeed.
Wtf? I don't think you know what the definition of incest is.
crrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What if the two people involved in an incestuous relationship are both consenting and over 18? Incest doesn't necessarily mean underage. And even then, both cases involve consenting adults exercising their rights to explore their own sexuality within the confines of their own home.
Incest isn't, by definition, non-consensual and pedophilic. It's just an unfortunate reality is that many cases come from a father abusing his preteen daughter, or an uncle sodomizing his young nephew.
Now, two siblings that are both 18 or above and fully consenting? It's gross, sure, but let them do what they want, so long as no children are conceived from it.
Seriously. Put up the Nazi flag if you want. I don't fucking care. As long as it isn't in a public place by a public entity, and you aren't harming anyone in any way (offending someone doesn't constitute harm), then what's it matter?
Will I think you're a racist, sick, stone-hearted piece of shit for having a swastika on your front lawn? Yes. Will I think you're an ignorant, proud redneck for having a confederate flag? Also yes. Maybe I'm judging too harshly. But just as I have a right to think those things, others have the right to put up whatever flag they fucking want. I don't like it, I don't think it's a good idea, but hey. It's your property. Do what you want.
Pooping in a public women's restroom.
We all know we don't poop rainbows and roses. The bathroom is a designated spot to release your bodily whut-whuts
I refuse to clench all day. We poop. We ALLLLLlllllll poop.
And spraying perfume over your poof just makes the bathroom smell like a strip club, but still poopy.
Keneneq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory in the USA. How can we as a society have come so far even legalizing gay marriage, yet the idea of being in a relationship with more than one person is still taboo?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:00:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The not smiling thing is simple if I don't want to smile, I'm not going to, if you don't want to smile that is fine(most smiles are fake anyway).
But the honesty thing is different. I'd rather you tell me the truth even if it hurts so that I can improve myself, and the same the other way around, you need to be open to blunt truth even if you don't like it, so you can grow on it. Like if you look bad, you'd want me to say my honest opinion, if you didn't want my honest opinion, its not worth asking for, and much less worth answering. Of course there are lines you don't cross, but those lines need to be redefined.
I wish I could say the same. I have a very visual mind, so talking about certain things (details about a surgical procedure, messy injury, or the like) really can and will make me very nauseous.
My wife and I have been married 25 years. I have never even raised a hand at her but I have always told her that "I will never hit you but if you hit me first, then you put yourself in a man's place and I am gonna knock your ass out" She thought this was completely reasonable.
Disagreed. A man hitting a woman and a woman hitting a man- those two things are not equivalent.
A man is typically much stronger and tougher than a woman. He can do more damage. Way more damage. If he punches her, that ain't the same thing as a woman punching him.
Now, if she shoots him with a loaded gun and he punches her in a rage- that I can forgive. In that case, her violence exceeded his.
I'll get tons of downvotes for this but I don't care. Bring them on!
crrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying that women are weaker than men? That's a pretty bold generalization.
We should generally try to save those who would kill themselves, because life can and does get better, but at the end of the day, a person should be free to kill themselves if life has become that unbearable to them.
I get outlawing the type of suicides where you blow your brains out in front of a bunch of children at a puppy store, but suicide in general? Come on, now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No worries. I was just poking fun. I don't give a flying shit what you call me. I realize the tone came off as serious, but really I meant it in lighthearted jest.
Public displays of affection... Eat their face off, you never know when you won't be able to. Everyone either has done it, or wants to do it so who the he'll gets to day you can't have a good old face moistening in public.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not answering the door when someone knocks. If I'm not expecting you, my face you will not see.
Pretty late but, Dark Humor. It's not like you REALLY mean it. Personally I enjoy it and believe it should be acceptable, everybody is laughing on the inside, why not on the outside too.
Not sending thank you notes after a wedding or other event. You said thank you when I handed you the envelope. No need to write it down on cards you spent a couple hundred more on. I know you don't really care, and that's just fine.
Breast feeding in public. Go on and pull a tit out, I so don't care and I don't know why others should either. "Oh but think of the kidz, my god what if they see!" So fucking what, they were sucking on them for a meal a couple years back, but they aren't allowed to see one?
It's so backward! Boobs are allowed to be everywhere in a sexualised sense (they sell everything from cars to clothing) but they're not allowed to be used for their actual purpose. RAWR.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. Not in a pervy way, but I don't see why it's such a big deal. It's more comfortable to be naked and it's less sexualized when it's not a dirty secret.
Swearing around kids. Language is language and is a tool to be wielded when trained properly with it. You will never be able to shield your children from it completely and making it taboo like that will just make them want to use those words more.
ksadeck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with talking about finances and with people asking me how much I make and etc.
Personally, I find incestuous relationships to not be a big deal. At least with siblings or cousins (cross-generation adds the power imbalance which muddies things up). Two consenting adults = fine by my book.
In other words, the only thing Jaime and Cersei did wrong was pass their kids off as Baratheons (aside from all that other terrible shit they do).
14UR3N ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm asked a question while chewing, I cover my mouth and answer immediately instead of waiting to swallow first. I don't know why I feel that it is ruder to wait 10 seconds to answer than to respond with your mouth full, but yeah, I do that quite a bit. To be fair, I don't talk with food in my mouth otherwise.
poompk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously hating on fat people.
I'm joking please don't shadowban me. D:
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitting your kid swiftly, firmly and controlled to get them to shut the fuck up. Growing up, whenever I was a little shit my dad would smack me upside the head. We called it a "dope slap" and it was super effective.
It's silly, and serves no purpose. It started as some superstition or whatever, and does not need to be said.
I refuse to say it, and people have given me weird looks when I haven't accompanied their sneeze with words of acknowledgement. If anyone should feel the need to say anything, it's the person who just sneezed in my face.
The person sneezing should definitely be the one saying "'scuse me", I always have. Depending on public/private setting, the amount of people nearby, and if they're strangers/friends, it can be modified to either nothing, or "fuuuck". I never felt the need to say anything, I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever said "bless you" (I'm 37), the most recent one being the other day. Bartendress sneezed twice, it just came from my lips without thinking, felt strange.
Polyamory, polygamy, and polyandry. As long as all participants are consenting adults who chose this lifestyle (this excludes those indoctrinated by cult or religious leaders), why should I care? Spread the love folks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I invite people over for a visit or dinner, I don't care if they bring "gift food" or not. I actually prefer they don't because sometimes their food clashes with mine or they just bring something really shitty and then I feel like I have to try it to be nice. My mother in law is an extremely heavy smoker and she brought Rice Krispie treats that tasted like cigarette smoke!
Talking about pooping. EVERYONE I know (except my closest girl friends) hate talking about peeing, farting, & pooping. why is that a problem? It's natural for the body to do disgusting shit....literally lol
Some people need to lighten up.
Merlord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest, PDA, public violence, talking openly about everything, taking off my shoes anywhere, talking to walls, getting into arguments, dancing around downtown in a pink dress and not having shaved your legs with a blonde wig because you needed to get a 'few things'.
I'm fine with people living off the government . In my view our government kills so many people for bullshit that all of us should at least have the basics. I don't care who either. Smoke meth in your government paid for apartment I don't give a shit, just be happy and do whatever you want, and if doing whatever you want lands you in prison or dead that's on you since you had all your basic needs taken care of.
Nudity. It doesn't matter if your 500lbs or 100 nudity is fine.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm ok with seeing naked people in public, urination, people fighting, hearing racial slurs and swears as long as no fists are flying, and people walking around drinking or smelling of liquor and weed. The only weapon I would flee from is a large / gravity knife or gun pointed in my direction, if someone just has a holstered gun I don't have a problem - I respect him for being safe by carrying a gun.
Around here, most people who have any say politically are really against stuff like public drinking, gun rights etc. But I believe that an armed society is a polite society and not to begrudge a guy who wants to enjoy a beer. Moreover, although I'm not black, Hispanic or male, a large presence of cops bothers me because it seems disturbing. I prefer a society where people sort out their differences themselves, man to man, without involving any sort of authorities.
Also I collect discarded stuff sometimes, my father used to drive around at night to "harvest" furniture. I was raised not to go to doctors unless there's a disease present. Otherwise just get the mail-in test, collect blood at home or at a test lab But people around here (blue staters) shame me hardcore for it because it's considered taboo for them. We do fine with this, I'm under age 50, lean, and don't need a colonoscopy, lol.
I agree fully with everything except urination. And even then, as long as you're not whipping it out or squatting right in front of me, I don't care about that either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah as long as the pee doesn't get on my shoes and I don't have to smell it. I was at a music festival before and some guys got chased by state troopers for peeing outside. I'm like wtf srs who cares
iRdumb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cousins marrying each other. It doesn't really bother me that much and is quite common in my culture (I'm from India). I only learned it was weird from my American friends.
Sqube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way too late for this to get any traction, but: overt racism.
If you hate me because I'm black, I'd much prefer you called me a nigger to my face, rather than pretending you don't have a problem with me and having me react to dogwhistle racism.
Discussing how much money you make, especially with co-workers. The way I see it, the taboo on wage talk only acts to fuck over people who don't have enough information to ask for the right salary.
This is a pretty big one: incest. Provided that all involved parties are consenting adults, and there's no fucked up emotional manipulation, I couldn't give less of a shit if you want to fuck your sister. Of course there is the argument of higher birth defect rate or what have you, but from what I understand that's highly overblown. And even if it is as big of an issue as it's made out to be, I'll add the stipulation that using protection is one of the barriers to making it acceptable.
And before someone says it, no. I do not have any incestuous leanings myself. This isn't an attempt to justify and normalize my own sexual fantasies. I have no siblings of the opposite sex.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Taking pictures of food.
I love to do it and that's how they get on the internet for most people who don't understand how they get there. With that being said, there are rude people who openly say OMG and laugh at what I do even though they love to take selfies with the freaking stick and will give shit to anyone who says they can't when they really shouldn't like a movie theater. I have no problem with the selfie stick (unless if it's a safety issue like riding on a rollercoaster) but I bring that up as it's seems more ridiculous than taking pics of food if I actually had a problem with the stick, yet that's more socially acceptable as it's done by members of the privileged majority (i.e. the popular kids). Not only is it rude for people to voice snide remarks but it's also hypocritical if they don't want to hear negative opinions of them taking selfies if they give people like me shit for taking pictures of food.
Nudity. I don't get what the big deal is... once in a while when I'm getting dressed it feels totally unnatural and the full scope of how weird clothing is hits me
Bodily functions in front of the SO. Not like going out of your way to do it in front of one another, but not giving a shit if you're in the bathroom at the same time. We all do it, nothing about my body is new to her, so who gives a shit?
HRA42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not attending baby showers or kids birthday parties. As long as you decline an invitation on time, only people who actually want to go should go.
Four pregnancies and I never minded people, strangers or other, touching my mid-section. I thought it was totally weird and cool that a whole person was developing in there. I never thought of it as someone touching ME, they were just excited about the new person and I happened to be there. Just sharing the wonder of life.
I'm probably not the first to say this, but: smoking a little weed every now and then. I'm not convinced that indulging in a joint every now and then (I'm not talking about getting blazed out of your mind) is damaging to the body.
I do, however, draw the line at "harder" drugs like heroin and meth. Those things deserve to be illegal because they ruin families and lives.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word CUNT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Riding a fucking scooter. Not a motorbike scooter. A scooter.
It's so efficient but it's just not cool. Walking sucks and bikes are a hassle. Imagine if Dr Dre made a scooter, everyone would be happy, scooting along. Wanna go down the road to a local store? Scoot there, it's quicker than walking and it's 0 effort. Commute round the busy streets of a capital city? Scoot, fuck the traffic and your Boris bikes.
Segways nearly got it, but god damn people, accept scooters :(
All the unusual and/or unexpected movements people with disabilities make. It's a fucking industry of bigotry thats been built to stop their perfectly natural movements.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
Sometimes you just have to get that one out.
mactal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking weed in public. As long as there are no children around and it's not a closed room where people do not have the possibillity to get out of the smoke.
We are forced to look at unhealthy images served up to us by our faceless corporate masters; a sobering 20,000 images daily.
god forbid some kid tries to paint a tag on a few mailboxes, let alone said advertising.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moving something that is in an inconvenient spot. The other day, I was at the courthouse waiting to renew my tags, and there was chair too close to the door. Everyone ran into it when they came out of the door and turned to walk down the hall. After seeing the third person walk into it, I got up and moved it a foot from the door.
Smoking. The anti-smoker movement needs to back off. I'm not a smoker but I really don't care if someone else enjoys it. Majority of smokers are fairly considerate and will stand away from people when they light up. Also, I think if a bar/restaurant owner wants to allow smoking in his establishment then it should be allowed. If customers don't like then they should vote with their dollars and just not support it. If the business fails because of it, then so be it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You. I like you. As a smoker, the world needs more of you.
I actively avoid other people when I'm smoking. I don't stand in entrances. I'll even cross the street if a kid is coming.
Being belittled by strangers, all while going out of my way to make them comfortable, sucks beyond belief. Sometimes I want to look at them and be like "look, I could have stood in your way and blew my smoke right up your nose but I didn't. I tried to move so you didn't have to smell it. Piss off ."
But, alas, I have a hard time telling off strangers.
The majority of smokers are considerate because they have been forced to. I grew up in the 60s when everyone smoked everywhere and no one gave a shit who didn't like it.
Smokers are selfish assholes who will smoke wherever they are allowed to.
You can make certain blanket statements about certain groups of people with a pretty high accuracy. For example, black people have darker skin. A few don't but most do.
Smokers, people who in this day and age, with everything we know about how deadly cigarette smoke is, choose to smoke anyway, are idiots, pure and simple. Also, every smoker I've ever known or talked to will vehemently defend his "right" to smoke anywhere he or she wants. I've lived thru the evolution of smoking, if you let smokers smoke, they will smoke, movie theaters, churches, restaurants, bars, conference rooms, hospitals are all the same.
That's just horrible logic and not even a realistic comparison. You're either being a troll or you're stupid. To call people who smoke stupid for doing so is what is actually is stupid. I guarantee that you do things that are just as bad for your health.
And as for proof, how about reading the other users comment on my original post. That's how the majority of smokers behave nowadays. If every smoker you've met was an asshole then it probably means you're the asshole. I can even provide more proof, just give me your name, address, and I'll introduce you to some nice people who happen to smoke.
Why don't YOU prove to me that you're the one that is correct? Find me a study that says smokers are stupid, assholes, or selfish?
I never said it wasn't dangerous. Of course it isn't a wise choice but it's their choice. People should be able to choose what they do with their own bodies. You know who else had a really strong anti-smoking campaign? Nazi Germany. You were attacking the people and not the choice. You've lost this argument already. You can't win because you're not smart enough to win. You haven't made one intelligent argument. People like you are what's wrong with the world. Quit trying to force everyone else to live be your views. I really hope you didn't procreate. So, please fuck off. I hope you get hit by a truck while crossing the street today.
You realize that anytime you invoke Hitler or the Nazis, you immediately lose the argument.
I could seriously give a shit if people smoke, as long as they do it where I don't have to breathe it but that is not the case.
Since you have already invoked the Nazis and I've won the argument, I should just let it go but let me give you a little smoking history, as lived by me.
Back in the 60s, you could pretty much smoke everywhere and everyone did. Then sometime in the 80s, they started moving people around a bit. They set up smoking areas. If a smoking area happened to be in a break room that non-smokers had to access, the smokers congregated there and filled it with smoke. There was a rule where I worked that people could smoke in private offices and they did, it didn't matter how many people came in and out of their office, they filled it with smoke.
Then they sent them outside so they congregated at the doorway and you had to walk thru their exhaust to enter and exit the building.
Not once did any smoker EVER go somewhere to smoke that they didn't bother someone else, they smoked wherever they were allowed to.
Today, there are quite a few restrictions on smokers but they still smoke anywhere they are allowed to, no matter who else is around.
Smokers are assholes, stupid assholes to boot.
BTW, wishing death on me because of a simple disagreement puts you in the same category, don't you think?
You lost. Just leave it. Your one simple perspective is just that, your perspective. It doesn't mean all smokers are assholes it just means the people you worked with were assholes. If you really didn't care if people smoked then you wouldn't have started this debate and especially not so aggressively. And no, I'm not in the same boat as you.
Leaving without saying goodbye. I hate that tedious process of removing oneself from a social setting.
Just slip out on the sly.
herrbz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Selfies.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having as much consensual sex as you want. Who cares? Just be responsible. Nobody should be shamed for the number of sex partners that they've had or not had.
Telling people the honest truth.
Yeah, I bet you'll think it's bullshit, but I'll double your bet that many people freak out (or think you're a prick) when you respond or interject honestly.
Too many people want to be lied to. Not sure why.
Cussing. I couldn't give even a half-fuck about annoying people with my language. I know it offends people. I just honestly don't fucking care. It's not that I want to "freak out the squares" or anything, it's just how I am comfortable communicating.
While I understand your point of view, I gotta say that around kids you might wanna watch it. Parents don't really wanna explain what 'fuck' means to a four year old, and the kid's gonna ask if he hears someone say it, you know? But around adults, it's cool.
rutteh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People's kids acting up in public and the parents having trouble controlling them. I'm not a parent but we were all kids once and we all misbehaved and shit in public everyone now and again. So like basically its easier to cut the hard working parents slack because this shit is the most embarrassing for them and it's helpful to just ignore it and not look and cause then greater grief
I agree, but you need to be careful here. In some states if you're caught urinating in public and a minor is present you can be put on the sex offender registry. Overkill? Absolutely. But you gotta be careful about that stuff in today's world, man. People really over-react.
Also- I love going to the bathroom outside. I love going out into the forest to build a fort and finding a bush and PISSING or SHITTING into the open. I love wiping my ass with ferns, and it's so primal, so HUMAN- I love taking dumps in the woods, where no one can see me. I feel like I'm just another animal, surviving in the forest.
Only downside? Mosquitos on the ass. Oh, and sometimes I'll get piss on my boots, (I'm a chick, small downside), but fuck it, it's NATURE and my boots are waterproof.
10/10 would shit in the woods every day if there weren't so many MOSQUITOS.
Telling SJWs and other protestors to get out of my way. Look, if I need to go to the store or get out the subway or just walk down the damn street, get out my way. If you're gonna get pissed about me for not caring, I'm gonna get pissed at you back. Look, you have your right to protest as much as I have my right to use the damn train and go to school.
Gang members killing other gang members. In the criminal underworld you must be vicious. They know the rules and what happens if they break them. Whats the difference between soldiers killing other soldiers and a gang member killing another gang member or one of their own members who fucked up?
The stigma against dating cousins, especially 2nd or 3rd cousins. The risk of deformity and complications are really overblow. It's not a major risk unless you compound it over some generations like what happened with Royalty in Europe. Having a kid after 40 involves a lot more risk than with your cousin but we as a culture are less judgmental of that. Heck, we even look down on it even if there is no plans to have children. Why? It just seems "icky"? People have used to same reasoning (or maybe lack of reasoning) to judge gay and trans folk and that's unacceptable. Maeby we should be more accepting of other peoples choices when it doesn't cause any harm.
Perhaps IT work and Open Source Software has jaded me, but after years and years of working in the space, I'd much rather deal with a competent but slightly abrasive personality than an incompetent extrovert who has no clue what they're doing.
Waiting for everyone's plate to come before eating. Just eat the hot food, I know you're starving!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Befriending children/talking to children in public. Before I moved I'd go to the park to juggle and over the summer met 7-8 kids who came to the park fairly regularly (never met any of their parents). One time even had other adult come over, ask me and the kids there (two girls around 9 and 12) how we knew each other. When they learned we just saw each other at the park now and then they basically got the girls to leave me and come to them, then gave me the evil eye until I left. Got the evil eye a number of times from adults (ignored them).
Honestly, I figured I was watching out for the kids. They knew me well enough to talk a bit when we saw each other. And if someone with bad intentions were to try something than I was a neighborhood adult who would watch out for them. When I told them I was leaving and not coming back at the end of the summer one of them (a boy of 13 or 14) actually cried and most of them were disappointed about it. Don't ask them to come with you anywhere, but talking to kids in a public setting should be fine.
Woah, and I thought one week was too long, but ended up falling into that pattern anyway... I salute you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Defying society's expectation that a boy be the stereotypical male. I've always loved pink, liked playing with dolls, never liked basketball or hockey, been a classy dresser, et cetera. I don't think that warrants questioning of my sexuality.
hezwat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women making the first move, asking me out, or straight-up initiating heavy petting out of the blue and in the middle of the conversation without prior escalation. Fuck your social mores - I got too many choices and things going on in my life, it's first come first served here.
Edit: No, seriously. Some people who are meth heads, and people who get pregnant and know they won't try to let it survive, should be allowed to have abortions. I know I would rather be dead than either a dumpster baby or born from a Crack whore.
People not holding the door open for me (unless I'm like literally 4 steps behind them). It's usually easier just to open it myself and I don't feel like I have to rush or else I'm inconveniencing you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
smoking joints alone.
weed has such a stigma, especially with the adults of my family, i wish i could openly admit when I go outside its for a jay but that would be completely off in my family, instead i just lie and sneak.
Sanhael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hateful" jokes. Racist, sexist, anti-disability, fat jokes; you see someone, and you immediately classify them. It's something we all do. Joking around about it is like venting. If you're never allowed to say something, or think it, or God forbid you continue breathing? It builds up, and you start to believe in things that you know aren't true. It's like joking about someone being black, or Jewish, or Japanese, or female, or Italian provides an opportunity to remind yourself that "that's not really accurate."
Yes, if you're gay, or trans, I will crack jokes. I don't care who you fuck or what pronouns you want to use; I really don't. If we get along I'll associate with you regardless. But you don't have the right to not be offended. You aren't special.
I have a female, half-Japanese, half-Jewish friend. The driving jokes... even by my standards, they go a little far.
Dating your friends ex after some time has passed. It's still a big no no for pretty much no reason. Eventually someone else is going to have to date her pal, may as well be someone you like.
Doing things at night (apart from going to clubs/bars). Late night walks, late night drives. Finding a cool place and just hanging out watching stars or whatever. Even just going over to a friend's place at midnight.
Racist jokes. I love racist jokes, my friends all joke about each others cultures all the time and it makes us closer, none of it is malicious in any way.
Racist joking doesnt = Racism.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public nudity is fine by me as long as they put a towel down when they sit. And no erections please!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racism, Sexism.. Any of the 'isms'.
Let me preface this by stating I have no beef with anyone based on their race, gender, religion etc. And I also disagree with violence as a tool to show what you think, want, believe etc.
However, I think it's totally okay to hate people for absolutely any reason. Yes it's not nice, yes it spreads more hate but honestly, I don't think society should be one bubble, one hivemind and collectively we should turn around and agree to start or stop X at Y time.
The world is not a nice place and it will never suddenly be filled with love and rainbows.
As a man taking your daughter into the women's bathroom. I'm not going to see anything since they're all in stalls and my daughter's eye level won't also be dong level.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People's decisions on not wanting to have children.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Male nudity. If a woman's naked everyone be checking out her tits n as. If a guys naked everyone gets uncomfortable. What if I just want to have a pants off party?!
If someone was an asshole while they were alive, don't expect me to lavish them with praise when they're dead. I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to disparage someone in front of their friends and family, but I'm not going to fake up a load of flowery sentiments just because they're no longer alive.
JdH-AU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weed
MG_72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower or pool. I know you do it.
TwN1018 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's eating alone. Whether I'm going to a restaurant or at home with the family I just have always preferred to eat by myself. I just get annoyed by noises others make while eating, and everyone constantly asking "is it good".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adjusting yourself is fine, I don't care if men / women wear the opposite sex's clothing.
T_Rash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At risk of being down-voted into oblivion, in this day and age of the consenting adult, polygamy just doesn't bother me. I'm cool with whatever anybody else is cool with, as long as everyone is a consenting adult. Want two wives? Hell, make it three! Gotta get some extra dick? By all means, friend! Does your husband need a husband? This is America, goddamnit. Have at it!
The "C" word. I don't take offense to it, nor do I care if others call me it or use it in a joking way. I think it's just as bad as other traditionally 'bad' words and never understood why it was seen as the "insult of all insults". It's literally 4 letters. Its a word.
I'm an adult and if I want to swear to intensify the meaning of something, then I'm fucking doing it.
If it okay to say "fuck you" to your boss? No, but that's not because the word is offensive is because of the intention of the sentence.
Is it okay to say "This day is taking too fucking long" to your boss? Yea, but not because of the meaning of the sentence, but because you used a naughty word in there. "This day is taking too long" is perfectly acceptable.
Seriously though. They all look so alike, but the cultures are so different. :(
KerroRo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not sure if being sarcastic. I said what I said in the point of view of a Korean young adult who's occasionally had trouble differentiating between various East, South-East, South Asians.
Certainly asking questions about one's origins is much more acceptable than just assuming everyone with certain features in common are from China or India or Mexico
Nope, not sarcastic. I've been in the same situation even though I'm American. I've often looked at Asians and wondered if they were Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it's just that they all look so similar but have different customs. I studied a lot of Japanese when I was younger, so I usually wish I could ask Asians if they were Japanese, but it's so frowned upon :(
Taking mushrooms. They push me to self-reflect in ways that I otherwise wouldn't be able to in my everyday life. I don't tell everyone I know that I like to hallucinate, but when I do tell someone, I will occasionally see their facial expression change to a look of ill-judgement. I actually kind of feel sorry that these people won't have the opportunity experience the amazing positive effects of taking mushrooms. Just don't take too much your first time!!
Didn't mind being asked how far along I am in my pregnancy - it's not rude, I was visibly pregnant. Why do people find that rude?
Don't mind now being asked if I'd have more kids. Why the fuck is that rude?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently breastfeeding
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently doing a PhD in Maths and not enjoying it. After I finish I'm thinking about doing something fitness related. So what if it doesn't pay well and "I'm capable of doing more"? Why is it anyone else's business?
I'm not in college yet, but I plan on majoring in linguistics. When I'm out, I might do the same thing and open a gym or something. I love me some lifting.
Greeting and speaking with perfect strangers as if I've known them all my life.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people I don't know very well leap straight into talking about their feelings or whatever happens to be troubling them or whatever else rather than sticking to generic smalltalk. I think most people would find this super awkward but when somebody hits me with something like that, usually I'll just roll with it.
I think this is how I attract so many weirdos into my life.
lddake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom. I don't expect you to. When people tell me they do I always subtly pry into how often they get sick. It is always way more often than I do. I've been really sick (vomiting/diarrhea) 3 or 4 times in the last 15 years. I just have to wonder how these germophobes think the human race survived up till the invention of hand sanitizer. LOL
Having fewer articles of clothing on in public, for both guys and girls. I'm a guy, and I find no problem going for a run/walk shirtless or barefoot. People have come up to me and pointed it out as audacious and strange, but I just feel more comfortable and free sometimes, especially when its super hot out or my shoes are uncomfortable. I'm not all muscular and ripped and trying to show off, I've just been raised in a family that doesn't mind dressing down to be comfortable.
I would try horse if it was offered. There are people in my life who are disgusted by the idea of consuming a horse, but they also refuse goat, so they're dumb.
Here's the real question: Would you eat a dog? This is assuming you never knew the animal in life and it was served at a reputatable restaurant.
My mom and I are very independent people. I went to college, became a accountant (for the R&R lifestyle... jealous, much?) and parents divorced.
I dated but no kids. 20 years pass. 2 long term gfs come & go. My dad has a stroke at 72,pulls through. I realize that they won't be around for another decade so I had mom move in my 2 bedroom apt. I just want to be here for the last part of her life.
I'm giving her a car to drive & a roof, rent free. My dad has his new life & wife in Ky. I see him 5 times a year and couldn't be happier.
TL:DR 44 year old man invites mom to live in his house.
Students texting while I teach. I've done it as a student, still understood the class, now when my students do it, I just have to let it go
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Talking about salaries.
Sharing what you make isn't the end of the world as long as you aren't boasting. Corporations save money on the fact that employees think it's taboo to discuss their salary with other employees.
I don't do this, bc it's so taboo. But I wish folks would be willing to voice what their company pays them instead of getting offended.
nhs123_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing a therapist and/ or psychologist. If you're willing and wanting to see a professional to talk about issues you're going through and want to work on bettering yourself, go for it. I never understood the social stigma people showed others who was seeing a "shrink".
Nudity, I just don't care. If everyone walked around nude or just a few people, I wouldn't give a shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Readjusting in public. 2 seconds of shifting your junk to a better spot is fine. It's required for comfort and isn't anything other than a guy trying to get right.
But... Any more than 2 or 3 seconds and you're playing with it, which isn't cool.
Talking about poop and farting. Everyone does it. So long as you're not being obnoxious about it, if you're having problems with your poop or you have to fart and you can't hold it in, just do it. Why do people have to be so against talking about it?
Apparently it's socially unacceptable to ask people their religion. But as a religious studies MA student... That's always within the first 10 questions I ask people. I just have a curious interest in knowing and yet apparently that's social taboo.
Picking my nose! Bro, there's gunk in there. I'm supposed to just walk around with gunk in there? I can feel it all sticking to things and shifting around. Honestly, i don't know how people don't pick their noses.
I won't mind talking about salary with my friends. I think by talking about our salary, we can know the welfare in different workplaces so that we may have the chance to choose a better job for ourselves.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Magazines telling girls not to wear crop tops if their stomachs are not flat.
I am 5'2 and 112 pounds. I cannot wear empire waist dresses, bubble skirts, or long dresses with vertical stripes. The reason I know this is because of magazines. It has been good advice. Why buy something giving you advice if you're going to instantly scream it's sizist?
Crop tops are for slender girls. It's hard to wear them if you're extrmely athletic or have a pregnant-looking belly. They slip over girls with no body fat and look good. I can wear them sometimes, but mostly, I accept that they're not for my body type.
Ah yeah. I was just wondering. Like 5'2 112 is definitely still in the slender category. I can see where you're coming from though. I'm sure it looks fine haha.
Not pretending to like me if you don't. I mean, don't be a dick, but there's almost a weird anti-friendship when people don't have to fake it and then talk behind eachothers backs. If I annoy you tell me. Otherwise I will probably continue to annoy you.
i know we should all be bigger men and rise above the pettiness but sometimes, this seems like the most effective and gratifying way to get a point across.
Watching movies alone. God damn it, I love it. There is, infact, no point in bringing along someone, as the concentration should be on the movie, and nothing else.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Toplessness, I have to enforce a one piece rule for my female guards even though NY is a top free state. My male guards are running around and there is no problem.
Declining peoples' invitation to event x because you're simply not in the mood.
Not contacting someone to give them best wishes for their birthday. If I'm/you're not going to do it personally with a handshake, I/you might just not do it at all.
jennui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abruptly canceling a meeting as soon as it becomes clear that other parties have come unprepared. I am not here to read you your email/walk you through starting a spreadsheet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding. I see so much heated debate about it. But as much as I try to relate and understand the feelings of people who hate it, are disgusted, or are even just mildly put off by it, I can't seem to even begin to imagine what it's like to feel that way.
Nose picking (I mean don't pull out a booger and/or eat it) but if i am itchy inside my nose who cares, you do it infront of me and I will have no problem.
Armpit sniffing. You need to check if that funky smell is you and if so fix it.
Not washing your hands every time after you go wees especially in your own house of the company of close friends. Maybe this doesn't go for guys though since you actually touch your genetalia.
Talking about Job Earnings. Who cares? The only people this effects are higher-ups who use it as negotiating leverage because you don't know what other people in your company make.
niffrig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity
JCrusty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men standing next to each other in public bathroom urinals. I don't really understand what's the big deal, every non-transexual and non-castrated male has a private part.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a personal space thing. I'd be irritated if a guy walks up and starts pissing in the urinal next to me if there are others open. I'm just not a fan of having my personal space needlessly invaded.
If you're driving in your car... You fucking pick your nose like there's no tomorrow. Doesn't bother me because the boogies aren't in my car so dig mf, dig.
I'm pretty okay with incest honestly. Like I would never do it, but I don't really see a problem with it. I never really have, and I don't really know why people do. Like yeah they might have a fucked up kid but I mean they don't have to have kids, and as long as it's just a few folks it's not gonna be detrimental to society if they do. I guess if I was a parent of two and they started fucking I'd be uncomfortable but I don't know why I'd be excluding the social stigma, so I don't think that's a good argument against it.
It's not so much a social stigma as it is an evolutionary no-no. We're "supposed" to be hard-wired to be disgusted by our siblings to prevent having retarded/deformed/unhealthy babies.
Disagreeing with people in real life (e.g. outside of Reddit). Something about today's culture values silent harmony over discourse and mutual teaching. If we disagree, at least one of us is going to be wrong. It's good to discuss why and move towards a better understanding.
Swearing. Most of us are thinking those words, anyway. Bleeping on TV is so stupid (or using substitute words) because you still know what they meant originally. Just let them say what they were originally saying!
gayt0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kissing your dogs on the nose/snout. Like, as long as you're not shoving your tongue down their throats, it's not a biggie. Trust me, that toothbrush of yours is infected with much more fecal matter than my adorable, unreasonably obedient and socially proper Australian Shepherd.
You shouldn't even have a prescription for it. Women just have to swallow a pill a day. That's easy enough to understand.
Getting birth control should be as easy as getting M and Ms. It should be available on every pharmacy shelf in America.
Also, I don't get why the morning after pill (Plan B) requires a visit to a pharmacy counter. Why does the woman behind the counter need to hand it over to the man or woman buying it? Putting a middleman between people and their pills is very obnoxious. It just adds time and trouble.
Just put it on the bloody shelf! What if the pharmacy counter is closed?!?!?!
People need that shit. The government shouldn't be playing games with their pills.
Sanhael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how the same people who argue that birth control is evil because you're preventing the possible conception of a human being don't give a fuck about that person from the moment they're born.
My Roman Catholic friend is super against birth control and abortion.
He cares about living people, too.
Sanhael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That makes one, though I've typically found Catholics to be more reasonable than American... whatever you call our Bible-thumpers. I'd say "Baptists" but it's not restricted to them.
If they'd just stop raping the literal entire population of various rural towns' worth of young boys, I'd like them a lot more.
I believe the word you are looking for is "Protestant"?
Also, not everyone who is a religious nut (or Protestant) is American. There are plenty of Protestants outside of the US.
Also, while I agree that Roman Catholics are generally better than fundie Protestants and evangelicals, I wouldn't give them that much credit for being reasonable.
I was raised Roman Catholic. I heard Catholics refer to homosexuals as "perverts", "insane", "mentally ill", "pedophiles" and "deviants" quite often.
Texting someone back immediately if you see their message immediately. The "Don't look eager" rule makes no sense to me. Do we sit in silence for fifteen or so minutes between lines of dialogue in real-life conversations?
Picking your nose. As long as you're discarding the booger in a manner that doesn't effect anyone else, who cares? Sometimes tissues just aren't enough.
Camel toe. Girls have a cleft running down the center of the exterior of their genitalia, and the most common cut/style of our pants touches our crotch, but it's gross and hilarious if that cleft ever shows through our pants. Yeah, done always checking for that one.
Discreetly peeing in public. I gotta go and I don't want to use a porter potty because I find unsanitary and gross. I would much rather squat behind a bush (I am a female)
Salary, polotics, religion, the fact that I tried drinking my own pee once, jokes (sexist, racist, especially jokes on my race, all jokes so long as they arent loaded with bad emotions when spoken.)
Why should I give a fuck about something that doesn't affect me in the least?!
Paul277 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs.
Long as you do them in private I don't give me a shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing what you want to wear.
Fedoras, trench coats, uncomfortable goodwill suits that don't fit the occasion. Seriously, you guys let this shit bother you way too much.
Unless you're being a dick about it, you're free to express yourself however you like fedora-wearers of reddit, don't let the "m'cringey euphoric gentlesirs" of reddit get you down, you rock that fedora.
Exactly!! Just because I'm cussing doesn't mean that I'm not speaking eloquently!!! Also I guarantee that I'm more intelligent than anyone that has ever been offended by my cursing.
All drugs being legal. Consensual crimes are such a waste of our money and it destroys people's lives when the worst thing about illegeal drugs is being caught with them.
Ignoring or speaking only out of necessity to ppl you see on a daily basis. I see ppl at work whom I have nothing in common with and no interest in talking to. Most ppl feel obligated to at least engage in small talk but I don't think it's necessary.
Swearing in a casual, adult setting. Jesus fucking Christ, why is it such a big deal if I drop an f-bomb in a casual setting? I'm not gonna call someone a cunt at a fancy fucking dinner party or teach 7-year-olds the word "fuckface." If a PG-13 movie is allowed to say "fuck", and everyone present is at least 15, you can shut right the fuck up, dumbass.
Aietra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat inside. Maybe society just needs better hats.
Staying in my pyjamas on a Saturday when I have no intention of leaving the house. What's the big deal, really? My home, my castle.
I have absolutely nothing against any type of drug use, heroin, meth, pcp or anything else as long as you hurt no one else but yourself, then it's none of my fucking business.
It's like Kevin Smith says "Handle your fuckin' high".
As long as you can get buzzed, come back to world, shit I don't care if you're an addict, as long as you can function I've nothing against you, and if you can't function my thing against you isn't "They're a junkie" it's "They're an asshole".
This may go back to my general dislike for alcohol, actually that's the only thing I find inherently bad.
Way I look at it is, if I'm driving home at night, and I know 10% of the people on the road around me are on something, I'd feel far safer if that something's coke or ice, as opposed to liquor.
Going to movies alone. I'm married with two young kids, if my wife and I get time for a date I'm not wasting that time in a movie theater. I love going to movies and generally go after everyone at home is asleep.
RNAPII ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nobody over the age of 25 is going to judge you for this. Most people do it from time to time.
Being unpatriotic. I really am not proud to be an American. I disagree with our foreign policy/wars, and the way we treat our citizens. I love the way America was intended to be initially, but it is now a bastardization of those principles.
I don't stand for the pledge of allegiance, I don't honor the troops, etc. I don't really intend to be offensive, I just don't agree with it, so I conscientiously and quietly object. I wish I could be more open about it, but it would be social suicide.
This is something I don't understand about my American friends (I'm Canadian). The most patriotic thing one can do is dissent, especially in the US where that was basically the founding principle of the nation. Not sure why others have an issue but good on you for bucking the norm.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you want people to be more open about? People are pretty open about everything you listed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a booger, something in your teeth, or food or something on your face I'm going to tell you. I hate it when I get home or in the car and look in the mirror and I have a booger in my nose and not one of the 30 people I talked to that day said anything. Its much worse to realize that everyone you saw that day definitely noticed as opposed to one person being like "hey, you've got something right here"
Women being topless or breast feeding in public- they're just boobs. Stop holding them to this sexual idolized level. Unless it's being rubbed it's just a body part
crrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:11 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't want to fucking listen to adults talk about boring adult shit.
They don't want to hear about politics, the election, the economy, how you pick your ties, your golf game, football games, your boss, your office's office politics, your co-workers, your spreadsheets, how you drive to work, what's in the tea, none of that shit.
And on the flip side of the coin, the adult guests don't want to nanny a little brat. They want to hang with their adult friends and destress from work, not play Mary Poppins on their one day off work.
Telling the children "Here's a plate of food. Go play in the backyard while the adults talk." is totally acceptable.
Picking your nose. I mean, I don't want to shake your hand right afterwards or whatever, but what's the big deal? Everyone does it, and our fingers evolved to fit in our noses.
Swearing. Especially in front of kids. They'll learn it eventually, and trying to shield them from it will just make them want to swear more when they learn that they're considered "bad words".
Step siblings liking each other. I don't get why its such a taboo especially when their teens when thy become step siblings. There just tw random strangers not related by blood
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:23:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest and polygamy. You can love and marry whoever the hell you want, it doesn't affect me.
zawata ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:58:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree with incest but agree with polygamy.
Incest can not only be socially wrong but give way to health problems in the event of a pregnancy.
Affecting other people however I do agree with that. Even if it is wrong, it isn't your business so stay out it
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:02:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy in theory but unfortunately in practice it tends to be exploitative towards the women.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If only it were that simple. That may be how it works for you, and that's great, but it's been my experience that it doesn't work that way for many others. Myself among them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm a minority and words have been used, going back to antiquity, to remind the various minorities that they are seen as less-than, undeserving of the full measure of what society offers. Some of them branded by these words used as the very justification of their harsh treatment. "I can do whatever I want to you, nobody will care. You're just another useless <Insert epithet here.>"
When you grow up hearing those words, or phrases, again and again, the constant reminder that you are their inferior (For whatever arbitrary reasons) the words do start to gain a power.
It's not like I one day decided that from that point forward words have power. They just do, by virtue of what they are: communication.
If you believe that words cannot hurt, because they lack the power to do so, then you have to also believe they lack the power to inspire or to heal? History is peppered with moments where it was words, not missiles, that helped turn a tide. Moments where "mere words" were used to mend a plight or right a wrong.
Words have immense power, since they are the foundation of how we communicate, whether we like it or not. Refusing to accept that our words have power gives us license to use whatever words we want while excusing ourselves of the responsibility for what we're saying. Since, after all, it's not my fault if this word affects an entire demographic, that's on them.
Removing ourselves from the responsibility of how people are affected by what we say to them is a very dangerous, and slippery, slope. I'd strongly urge you to at least give it some further thought.
My friends always harp on me for this when we're in a a store or something. Their parents probably cuss plenty and the little bastards are gonna learn it regardless.
yep I can agree with this. I have never in my life known somebody who cussed as much as my father. He isn't unstable or angry or anything. He is perfectly normal it's just that a man's gotta cuss sometimes you know. Besides the kids know what cuss words mean it's not like you are going to soil their soul itself for saying fuck in front of them.
Fritzed ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:09:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the end of the world, but I've known people who just do it for the government check. That's annoying.
Capsize ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:32:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This will sound weird, but other people committing incest.
Most people including myself have a natural distaste for the idea of sexual activity with anyone we grew up with, but if two consenting adults don't have that natural disgust then all power to them. Who am I to tell people who they can and can't love.
And yes I'm aware of the increased chance of genetic anomalies, but we don't tell people with huntingtons they can't have children, do we?
Zoophilia, depending on the situation. A chick isn't hurting her dog, and how could you think the dog has to be forced into anything? Seems kind of obvious they should just be left alone to their privacy.
And consent is an issue? Even if that was true, it's odd. Then again, I do understand how you can't purchase a pet without first getting her consent to be owned, then you have to get her cconsent to have her spayed.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:27:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pedophilia. The fact that it's such a taboo thing makes it so much more dangerous. Just because someone is attracted to children doesn't mean they will act on it. Most seem to be fully aware that it would harmful to children, but since it's such an impossible thing to talk about there isn't many ways they can find help and support when they're struggling.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week I met a guy who was packing up for his ten year sentence in federal prison for possession of child pornography, he's obviously been speaking to a professional since and they don't believe he would ever physically harm or otherwise abuse / exploit a child. It's crushing to know that if he would have talked to someone about it he may not have ended up where he is now, he's very fortunate they're using the previous maximum sentence of ten years from when the crime was committed instead of the new maximum of twenty which they originally pushed for.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:47:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wont argue that he doesn't deserve to face repercussions for his actions, but putting a nonviolent offender in federal prison for ten years (and like I said, they pushed for twenty) is very costly in regards to tax dollars and in my opinion it's unnecessary. He downloaded child pornography once four or so years ago and there's been absolutely no activity since, he doesn't have a criminal history aside from that.
He contributed to the destruction of a childs innocence. Criminal history doesn't mean anything and if my tax dollars can help protect the innocent then I am more than happy to contribute.
By your logic for you to be happy and society to be safe they'd need to mandate lifelong incarceration. It was an isolated incident four years ago, four years living his life the same way he always did and during those four years what happened? Nothing, and that was with his issues not being addressed by a mental health professional. He doesn't need to be locked up in a federal prison for ten or twenty years, he needs counseling and he can get that on the outside.
By your logic there should be no punishment for child molesters and they should instead talk it out. No, he already showed that he cannot control himself, he had his chance to be a functioning member of society already.
No, and this comment shows me you haven't read my other comments so I'll go over this again. This individual committed a nonviolent offense, it is a first time offense, it is his only offense. He's obviously had to speak with a mental health professional, she's ruled that he's not a threat. I believe that in this instance the maximum sentence for his charges is inappropriate, I also believe that he should be under supervised release and subject to the limitations of a registered sex offender such as not working with minors, living whatever distance from a school, not being allowed to go where children are (like parks and things). I don't believe he should be permanently subjected to these limitations, this is not in regards to every individual charged with child pornography, each case is different and needs to be addressed individually.
I read your comments and I disagree with you. He has committed an offence against morality. There are no ifs, buts or maybe's within the law and any person knowingly in possession of child exploitation material commits a crime. The only defence to this is if it were done for education, medical or scientific purposes.
Whether it is his first offence or not makes no difference before the law and nor should it. He has committed a vile act and I don't see how you can reasonably defend it.
Miknarf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
could you eloborate on that? in what way is owning child pornography "facilitated the abuse and exploitation of a child"?
Why would one make it without being able to sell it or get off on showing it to others?
Miknarf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:57:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i dont know but what if was not bought but gotten of the dark web for free? I kind of assumed that the people who make it are generally pedofiles themselves. I doubt there is much market for selling child pornography considering how risky it is to conduct financial transactions on the internet. Are you suggesting that there are people who rape kids and film it just for the money or prestige? I think that sounds unlikely.
Heres an analogy which I thinks fits. The terrorists group isis makes videos showing them cutting off americans heads. It not illegal to own these. People don't commonly claim that people who see these videos are facilitating these executions because obviously Isis would do it regardless. How are videos of child rape different?
The difference is that ISIS make these videos to recruit new members and scare their opponents, while CP makers generally do it for the money. In this day and age attention is money given the pervasiveness of ads and it would be irresponsible to say one doesn't contribute to something since they got it for free.
What are you even talking about? He committed a crime, he needs to go to jail. Viewing/consuming child porn is perpetuating and feeding the abuse of children. He is abusing children. Children. He deserves to go to jail.
It's crushing to know that if he would have talked to someone about it he may not have ended up where he is now
The same can be said about someone who robs a store for money. What if they had spoken to a financial counselor to help them out? Tough shit, they didn't. And they broke the law, so now they go to jail.
No one will argue that what he did wasn't absolutely wrong, it is disgusting, I sure as hell don't get it but I also don't understand people with a vore fetish. My feelings also have a lot to do with the jail/prison system in the US leaning heavily towards punishment instead of rehabilitation and using people to set examples by issuing the maximum sentences. It's straight up a waste of money to keep this guy in prison, I'm not saying let the man run free wherever he likes, there would still be the usual restrictions for a registered sex offender but something like incarceration and then some sort of supervised release strikes me as being much more appropriate. They wanted to give this guy twenty years, they wanted to have the american tax dollars pay for the incarceration of someone for twenty years who has been decided by a mental health professional to not be a threat. It's very extreme.
Um... No it's not a waste of money to keep him in jail. He abused children. He committed a crime. It's not like he was arrested for thinking about children. He watched child pornography, which is abusing children.
Lets say he was just a lurker who downloaded some, he didn't contribute anything, he turned on an adblock so the shitty websites don't get any ad money, he didn't comment or praise the contributors, he got his fix and then probably felt ashamed, Or even for fucks sakes the rules on child porn are bullshit. I mean technically I could have been arrested for it because it was on my ram. why you ask? because I was on a website where people share porn and some asshole dumped ~20 images on the front page, I didn't know they were there! I literally refreshed the page and KIDDIE PORN! So I report every fucking image and then copied the link the asshole left for his website and tipped it to the FBI. But because I involuntarily had it on my RAM I could have been put in jail.
And I think your the kind of person who forces people to suppress their feelings, and hide away until they burst and molest a child, maybe if people like you didn't called anybody with this problem a disgusting monster they would have gotten help. You are contributing to molesting of children almost as much as the dude who got his fix of illegal porn and shame, because he managed by feeding his urges in a way that affected no one, but maybe if you didn't bully him and instead offered sympathy and compassion to something beyond his control and he could get help, but no your will probably continue bullying him, he never gets help, and then he finds himself alone with his niece an BAM! now he's a rapist, a full blow fucking contributor because you, and every other asshole stopped him from getting help.
You are part of the problem, Just as much as all the kids who tease and bully the one little outcast kid in high-school until he snaps, looses his fucking mind comes back and mows 15 of them down with an assault rifle. And you know what, people have sympathy for those kids, it's always a sad story some quiet kid who never hurt a fly and was just a little different.But nobody feels bad for the pedophile, in everyone's eyes he's just a monster who ruined a life, even in his own. But I feel sorry for them, because you know they remorse everything, they never thought they would hurt a child. You have to stop treating pedophiles different from other criminals. People don't understand them and they don't want to. We can all understand that kid who shot-up a class room at least a little, even if all you wanted to do was punch someone in the face because they were an asshole you've felt a feeling similar to his. But nobody gets the feeling a pedophile has, and therefore we dehumanize him because we don't get it.
You know i'm not doing this to convince you? Honestly I knew by you're first responce you weren't going to change your mind. I'm doing this in the hopes one conflicted person comes by, and changes there mind, it's a lot easier to write when you can bounce directly off an brick wall of idiocy, makes sure I can cover all my ground. I'm going to sleep now, waste your breath if you want. You'll probably be an ass about it and further my point.
In truth, just like an alcoholic who truely wants t not drink actively works at it through support groups, therapy, and being monitored. If your compulsion is so dangerous that it puts others and you at risk of serious consequences, it is your responsibility to exhaust all avenues to seek these services. I am in upstate N.Y. and am an addictions counselor who treated sex offenders of lots of varieties includong those who have not acted on it. The services I mentioned exsist around here. I was just their addictions counselor, trained specialist provides the services. I am sure they are probably not in all places but I would bet a lot of major cities and aome towns have services so considering the amount of sex offenders in major areas, a lot wpuld have access of they sought the help.
Tl; dr: it is the responsibilty for those afflicted with sexual disorders that puts others at risk to seek seevices that do exist. If they are not committing crimes but only have urges they can be treated with out being incarcerated.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 21:57:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 19:11:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wtf is wrong with you
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:23:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Care to elaborate instead of leaving a meaningless comment?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:25:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skateboarding in Parking lots. I have no clue why people hate it so much but its not like there's anywhere else to skate in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
ex-skater from bumfuck nowhere chiming in. Something like 10% of skaters are dumbfucks who like to get into trouble or are inconsiderate of cars. That 10% ruins it for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:04:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was no debacle or anything, it's just that EVE doesn't have rules regarding gameplay. If it's possible to be done within the game, you can do it. It's totally allowed to scam other players in-game.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I get it now. I thought you meant the company maintaining Eve was scamming. Derp, holy Monday...
Basically Eve Online is 98% scammers, 2% good guys. There are effectively no rules when it comes to scamming, so they're abundant everywhere in chats, mail, etc. Stealing is common, taking over corporations(guilds/clans) by hostile takeover and then stealing all of the stuff the corp owns (Often thousands in real world money). In Eve, if you get scammed, you deserved it and you will be laughed at, even if it was the best pulled scam and nobody could have seen through it.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so interesting to me! It takes the idea that a society would ultimately regulate itself, and just drops the anonymity of the internet into the mixing bowl. Holy crap, add in teenagers, and you're just writing a recipe for disaster.
If you haven't tried playing it, it's absolutely fantastic. You'll hate every moment of it, you'll have 6 excel spreadsheets open, you'll ragequit repeatedly and you'll be constantly on your toes avoiding scammers and people trying to kill you.
But if you leave, you won't be gone long.
I agree though, it literally is what the world would be like if there were no real repercussions on your character for actions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere out there is a player that wants to give up the game but doesn't want his work to go to waste. He tries to give away the items and gold he worked for but no one will take it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heck yeah, I started playing WoW and was baffled when a guy offered to take my materials and send the crafted item back. How fucking stupid does he thin... oh, scamming is verboten.
I am very pregnant. Hugely so, with a belly that is big and round and low like a watermelon slowly untaping itself from a pair of suspenders. It is practically a beacon at this point, flashing bright lights that read "please touch me! I am friendly!"
Everyone knows you're not supposed to touch a pregnant woman's belly, especially without asking, but ... it doesn't bother me at all. It actually makes me feel good, like people are so excited about the fact that there's a baby in there that they just can't not touch it. And they always immediately take their hands off and apologize for not asking, but I'm never offended. I know I should be, but I'm not. I'm just glad my belly and I could bring a moment's joy to your life.
At this point, I'll even announce it if the baby gets the hiccups or is dancing the macarena, in case someone wants to feel him moving around. I've got belly enough to share.
I just think touching someone without consent is such as big thing that it's not something we should ever allow to be an OK thing officially. However, on a personal level, I think yeah, why not?
Alright. I've seen someone share an ice cream with their dog. They take a lick, then their dog does, and so on and so forth until the whole thing is gone. Why? Dogs clean themselves with their tongues. After they shit? Oops, better clean that. Yeah, fecal matter on your food sounds great. I don't understand how you can do this?
Well, some studies show that dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans'. But mostly I just don't think about it in that much detail in the moment. Kind of like sex, if you thought about everything you put your mouth on for that, you'd probably be less inclined to do it.
This isn't quite the same thing, but caring. It's not exactly socially unacceptable, but it's considered uncool. Why do we glorify 'not caring' so much? Why do people think a person is weak if they have basic concern for the people around them, and why is a person seen as cool or badass if they don't give a shit about anything?
Maybe it's just because I'm young, but people who are a bit older seem to be offended by this question and like to lie about it and giggle the question away.
whd5015 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Playing video games in your spare time. I'd rather not spend my free time reading a book, tyvm. Already do enough reading at work.
Swinging / Threesomes. If couples want to bring others into their bedroom and they are all consenting adults, why is there a bad stigma to this? My wife and I are quite open and have done this on a few occasions but I really wish lifestyles like this were not looked down upon.
GreyFur ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:32:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People acting outside their genders norms.
I don't give a single damn if females are working construction or if males are going to a spa. Some people need to stop acting like it's hurting them when others do things that are not affecting them in any harmful way.
emchoww ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating a stranger's leftovers. If I walk by a table and there's pizza on it, and it clearly has no owner..I'm eating that pizza. NO FOOD WASTE!
Dave & Buster's is actually the best, the waiters never clean the tables fast enough so it's like unlimited nachos there! Just casually slide into a booth and finish off the leftovers.
Parents hitting their kids in public. Obviously not excessively or to hurt the child. But people go crazy now a days if a child is scolded my their parents even for a just flick in the ear or smack on the backside.
Trying to be so political correct all the damn time. I really don't give 2 shits if I offend you, I am going to be honest if you ask me a question. It seems like everyone gets offended at everything now, I just simple don't give a damn if I offend someone's sensitive views.
Incest. I'm not personally into it, but I have no issues with consenting adults having a sexual relationship, no matter their age, gender, relationship, social status, appearance, etc.
I'm not a polygamist - but if you have consenting adults, who the fuck cares. It's their business, not yours.
Also - public nudity. Again, I'm not a nudist, but I don't care if someone is in their nuddypants (or topless, or whatever). It's their body, not yours. Enjoy the view, or not. So long as they're being hygienic, it's not an issue.
Breastfeeding. Same as above.
1jimbo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:12:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not tipping. I work just as hard as you do and I need to deal with shitty people too. Why should I be expected to gift my hard-earned cash to you for doing your job?
I tip waiters/waitresses/valet because that is how they make their money in the US. I do not tip baristas or any sort of fast food staff because they are paid at least minimum wage hourly.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:20:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on who you're out with, playing on your phone at a restaurant. If you are with friends, no, but if you are with someone you see all the time (and they don't mind) then it's ok.
I can really relate to this. I'm always going out somewhere with a few friends and this girl I liked. We'd all go out to see a movie, or just hang out at the park but whenever I try to talk to her, she's always on her phone. And that makes me a little self conscious and wondering if I'm boring her. She's an amazing person, but seeing her phone out for most of our conversations will always bother me.
Just call her out on it. It'll take her by surprise and maybe she'll get offended, but it'll make you seem like less of a pushover. She might like that
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not ok with this and I will call people out for doing this.
I think it's ok if you play with your phone before food gets delivered to your table at restaurants, but you do kind of have to put it down and talk to the other people at the table when you're eating.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:03:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I dont give a shit either.
ecoprax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird sexual kinks. All of them. I just don't really give a shit as long as they don't harm anyone else. There's nothing wrong with having a kink - you don't really decide what turns you on - it's acting on it that can be bad.
And if people are having trouble with controlling themselves they should be able to freely say that so they can get help, instead of being reviled by society for being a good enough person to want help.
Wearing ~revealing clothing~ because its none of my business what people wear. ditto for their sex life. jesus christ jenny, i dont care if sandra sucked dick for a big mac thats sandra's business
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Allowing businesses to refuse to participate in ceremonies, events, and creation of memorabilia in which they are religiously opposed.
This is not the same as allowing businesses to refuse all service to a person based on their genetic makeup/etc. For example:
-An Islamic bakery should not have to wedding cake bake a cake and put a combination of grooms and/or brides they do not agree with on top, and go to the ceremony to cater food for it. But they should serve those people in every other kind of aspect--just not one that forces them to participate in things that go against their religion.
-A Hindu metalworking/raw materials working shop should not have to create a Catholic statue or write out the words of the Hebrew God below it, or create a McDonald's sign. But they should serve Catholics in all other kinds of aspects.
-An Atheist signmaker should not be forced to create signs that say "God hates fags". But they should serve Radical Christians in all other kinds of aspects.
-And a Christian photographer should not be forced to take pictures of a wedding couple/group of people they do not religiously agree with. But they should serve these people in all other kinds of aspects.
It's all the same thing. It's about participation in things that go against one's own religion that people should not have to partake in.
EDIT: These people should make it obvious what religion they partake to with a sign that is visible to the customer.
I would be fine with this as long as it only applies to non-essential retail services and not every single private business. I don't want a Jehovah's Witness-owned hospital to be allowed to refuse to give me a blood transfusion because of "muh watch tower". That might be an unlikely example, but it gets my point across.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:30:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
I personally find the idea of being sexual with any of my own family members disgusting, but I don't see what the big deal is for people who don't, provided they're two consenting adults of course.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:41:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people that I'm on my period. I mean I'm not going to go into graphic detail (unless you ask, in which case I totally will), but if someone says "What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" I have no qualms about saying "Oh I'm just on my period. The second day is the worst." And I'm not going to use any cutesy euphemisms either. Some people seem really put off by this, but I don't see why it should be any different than telling someone you have a cold or a headache.
I'm fine with whatever other women choose to do, but for me it's like telling people you have diarrhea. Then again, some people do that too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except it's not like having diarrhea at all. Diarrhea is something that happens out of the blue. My period happens every month, and sometimes it makes me feel really awful. Should I just pretend it's not happening or lie about it because you think it's icky?
I don't think it's icky - I have periods myself. I just prefer to say I'm feeling crappy or 'not well'. I suppose it's partly because I'm surrounded by female coworkers who expound on every ailment - even hemmeroid discussions at lunch, nothing is off limits.
I guess some people find that laid-back and open, but I don't. No offense meant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's up to you. You don't have to share that information if you don't want to. I just personally don't mind telling people.
As bad as it's going to sound... racism. Now before people start getting incredibly anally retentive let me explain that institutional racism is a blight on society and needs to be eliminated as soon as possible. I do however believe that racism in the form of words and expression are pointless to get upset about, words can't hurt you if you don't let them. So what if someone calls you by a racial slur, white or black? Are you so doubtful of your own self worth that the words of some asshole hold so great importance to you that you let them hurt you? Grow a pair! Anyway... let the downvoting commence that has easily got to be one of my more controversial opinions.
Hahaha! I'm sorry, darling, I couldn't understand a fucking word. Could you rephrase? :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was saying that if we don't know what you look like, how could we talk to you? As strangers, I mean.
It's all well and good to just start talking to all the strangers around us, but what if I wanted to fulfill your desire specifically? :) if I knew what you looked like, maybe I could engage you in conversion. As strangers, of course.
A workplace that doesn't have a strict dress code. I know there are a lot of companies that let their employees wear what they want, but there are still a LOT that don't... Like mine. I believe your appearance really doesn't have much to do with your work ethic or professionalism.
drostan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I do like to dress well/formal, so I am not really inconvenienced either way but the dress codes are sometime stupids
If you are in contact with the public, you are representing your company and so I do agree it makes sens you dress for it
But if you work in front of a screen all day where no one sees you I don't see why you should be forced to wear shirt and tie in your cubicle. hell I don't even care if you wear pants for that matter as long as you do your job well its good enough for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
being an asshole. everybody on reddit acts like its the worst thing in the world but I would rather be an asshole than an approval seeker
serious question... do you have no problem with other assholes, or do they make you mad?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
asshole is such a vague term whichs means different things to different people. I dont mean to cause harm to anybody I just have a habit of being brutally honest to a fault and dont make much of an effort to kiss up to people or pretend to feel someway when I dont, just to appease people. that being said I prefer to deal with people that are brutally honest as long as they are rational. Its a hard questions to answer really. Really, it takes a lot to make me mad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I agree. I would be an independent asshole, rather than a kiss ass. I can't live with my self, if I do something that I don't believe in even if I benefit from it.
Sometimes I leave my trash bin by the road for the full weekend. Trash runs Friday and I take my bin in Monday.
I feel like all of my neighbors think I am lazy. They all seem to just wait for the garbageman to pick it up, have a chat and wheel it in. Mine just sits there. Alone.
Also I hate when people try to say hi to me when I am mowing. This shit takes 2 hands stop waiving at me you are making me go off course.
AnIh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the whole thing about when food is ready you dont have to actualy eat it its rude ! u have to wait for it to almost be cold to be socialy acceptable to start eating , for me thats quite the opposite I think its lack of respect for the one that actualy cooked the food to not eat it, also doesnt make sense to not eat while its hot :/
I think they might be referring to the custom of waiting until everyone has prepared their plate and is seated before you start to eat. At least I think that's what they're getting at, I could be way off-base.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this either. I'm gay but if I think a girl is attractive I'll look. She does nothing for me sexually but like anyone else, I find beauty pleasant to look at.
Non monogamy. I'm not personally in a poly relationship, and never have been, but the more I sit and think about compulsory monogamy the more I think it's actually just coddling jealous and entitled dispositions and in light of all the statistics on infidelity out there I don't understand why this is still a thing. We should be telling people from a young age it's totally okay to like multiple people and even act on it if done in a safe manner and everyone is on the same page.
Also, swearing in front of children is 100% okay with me if you're not using slurs against marginalized groups of people. If you're just saying shit like shit, goddamnit, fuck, asshole, etc you're good to go.
Not making an explicit effort to hang out with family if you have nothing in common and they aren't exceptionally nice or interesting people is also 100% fine with me.
Nudity. If you have nice breasts I will look at them. If you don't I won't. I think everyone can just deal. Its a body we all have them. Some paint is art, some paint is on walls.
Not smiling. I work in customer service and my first week my boss told me he would fire me if he saw me not smiling for more than ten seconds. The customers just want to pay and move on, I don't think they give two shits what I'm doing with my mouth. Also, small talk. I fuckin hate it. Its meaningless and does nothing to advance a relationship. Yet, we must all do it. Id be fine if strangerd could just go about their days in friendly and peaceful silence.
zawata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a computer tech for my university and it seems like the difference between smiling and not smiling is huge
I don't know what kind of customer service you work but I can't think of one where a little smile would be a great thing. It gives the customer the impression that you actually care even the slightest bit and it may not be furthering any relationships but it's still a kind gesture
Anything more than that isn't necessary though is a good thing to do depending on the industry. Fast food? I don't really want to have conversations with the cashiers, maybe a few words but eh... Tech support? I'm in people's offices for 15min to an hour at a time so talking really helps and feels necessary.
I understand that some types of customer service require more of an effort from the employees. I was just saying I would be totally okay if everyone didn't feel the need to fake smile all the time. Its fake, its not from happiness or pleasure, and therefore its meaningless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand it's fake, but it shows some effort. You should develop that poker face emotionless smile pretty fast.
I'm generally cool with the bronies, furries, and juggalos. So you like weird media? Cool, I also like weird media, just for some reason people are a little more accepting of my weird media. The fact that I am not personally into your weird media doesn't mean we can't hang out, drink beer and thrown knives at the garage.
I watched the video, that's a specious experiment. They're comparing a double-dip to literally taking a mouthful of dip and spitting it back into the bowl. Of course the double-dip isn't going to be that bad as that.
Be that as it may (and as obvious as their results are) that's not connected to what I was getting at. I was specifically referring to the notion that if you have a communicable disease (the little nasties I referred to) capable of transmitting through saliva, that double-dipping is potentially dangerous at worst, and disgustingly worrisome at best.
This is common sense. You are making contact with the chip with the inside of your saliva-coated mouth, and then reinserting part of that same chip back into a communal bowl of food. That's just disgusting and shows a complete lack of regard for those sharing that dip with you.
In short: If I want your saliva in my food, I'll ask you to spit on my chip. Otherwise, please don't.
In my career (retail) we're supposed to be polite and friendly at all times, swearing and verbally abusing customers is not socially acceptable, even if they have abused you first. I will quite happily swear at and/or verbally abuse a customer, but only if they have done so first, or I have witnessed them swearing at/verbally abusing one of my staff. We get so much abuse and I've been working in retail for coming up to 19 years now. Customers have been getting ruder over the years, they use the "customer is always right" and they take advantage of it. Why should I have to put up with abuse? why should my staff members have to put up with it? I will totally give as good as I get, and more!
nvflip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding. People are either offended or turned on by it. It's just a feeding for shits sake.
The vast majority of body odour comes from bacteria trapped by dead-skin. It becomes smellier as it gets wet from sweat. Body heat makes a fertile breeding ground. It's this that starts to make your underwear smell even if you're "clean".
Hate to tell you but people can probably smell your bumhole.
Eating food that's technically considered trash.
Hey, if someone leaves a perfectly good slice of pizza at their table at a restaurant, free pizza! A box of muffins left over from a conference sitting near the top of the trash can? Free muffins! Even if something falls on the floor, as long as it's not obviously dirty, I really don't mind.
Incest. I hate the stigma, the whole hick thing, why can't two people who are in love just be in love. I think it's funny when LGBT don't agree with it. Apparently love does have boundaries.
Asking someone (woman or otherwise) their age/weight/salary. They're all just numbers. And I hate it when I give my answer to one of those questions because idgaf, but the person that asked me gets red in the face and refuses to answer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
U-turns
Bongham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannabis consumption. There is such an enormous societal stigma around anything to do with marijuana. To the point where I considered prefacing this post with, "this is going to make me sound like a huge fuckboy, but.."
For me at least, this ruins the drug in a large way. If I go out to smoke, I want to enjoy my high doing fun things, not feeling ashamed or like a "bad person" for having smoked weed.
I don't have a problem with people doing it but everyone who I see do it looks like a jackass. Do they give you a headbuzz or something? It seems like a pointless way to act like you are smoking to me
Incest. Seriously, as long as both parties are consenting and age appropriate. Obviously there are certain implications about reproduction that are negative, but for the most part I dont care who is fucking who as long as there was no manipulation.
Lot's of good conversation on this topic, but I think this is a great opportunity to bring something up:
It's NOT socially acceptable to fart in an enclosed space while strangers are present. An airplane, for example, is not the place to shit on everyone around you.
I do, however, think it's perfectly okay to fart in an empty elevator just before you get off. I think of it as leaving a little mystery for the next riders. Maybe their day is not going well, or they have a lot weighing on their minds. For that split second (or mintues, depending on what I've eaten), they get a chance to play out a small mystery scene in their mind. Also, they get to look at the other passengers and think "which one of these nasty fucks farted?", and finally they think "Oh no, they're going to think it was me if I don't cover my nose or make some kind of gesture that shows I'm just as disgusted which means I didn't do it!".
Using Comic Sans. The internet has become such an echo chamber of nerds denigrating that one font that many probably don't even remember why they're supposed to hate it. The rhetoric has gotten ridiculously over-the-top. It's just a font. Get over it.
Comic Sans hate is just one of those things that's "expected" of you if you're a denizen of the 'net nowadays.
An American women's clothing size 14 or 16 being considered "Plus" size. I confess that I am an American woman who fits in that range. And I am overweight. I am so sick of reading that 14 is the size of the average American woman and we should embrace it, and it's perfectly healthy, blah blah blah. No. It's not healthy. I don't think it's healthy to accept this largeness as the new normal. Sure, I'm healthier than people more obese than myself, but I'm less healthy than I was when my weight/body fat was lower. We're not doing ourselves any favors by saying our increasing amounts of fat are healthy and beautiful and normal.
Underage Drinking and Smoking Pot... Might get controversy over this is even seen by anyone ,but since they are underage the punishment is way lower so why not let them experience all of it then?
Using the word "normal" when talking about people.
I'm sorry guys, but it's not normal to be gay, ot's not normal to act in some ways, it's not normal to do a LOT of things. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. I mean fuck, I'm bi, I'm not normal because I DO NOT fit into the NORM. Using the word normal with its original definition should be fine, but noooo, when I say someone isn't normal everyone looks at me like I'm a monster -_-
holy fuck thank you! Whenever I make this argument people get so pissed at me. I have no problem with people being gay, frankly it's none of my business whether you like dick or vag.... But if you're gay don't sit there and think that you are "normal"...If gay was "The Norm", the world would be dreadfully short on humans....
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they take offense to it because then they feel you are saying everything about them is abnormal. Like saying "he's a normal guy, but he's gay". Now shouldn't always be talking about someone's sexuality, but there are times where it comes up. Say a female friend of yours is interested in him and you want to let her know.
But yeah, I'm not going to label my self cis whatever the fuck that is. My sexuality is the majority of the human condition, it's normal.
Krozni ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:17:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lemme guess: you're a 15 year old with shit grades, but don't worry, you're just "a different kind of learner".
Pmly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok. So teenagers are clearly oppressed by people like you. Grades mean absolutely nothing. School is a man made indoctrination venter where YOU as an individual do not get to>Lemme guess: you're a 15 year old with shit grades, but don't worry, you're just "a different kind of learner".
decide what you would like to pursue, but rather a preset list of topics that one may or may not be engaged in. How unamerican is it to take away adolescents freedom by coercing their parents with penalties for not complying with a system they feel is unjust?
Krozni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was just makng a joke about the edge. Calm down.
Krozni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also I almost directly quoted a filthy frank video if you are really taking that seriously.
You can call me 15-year-old-with-shit-grades without any other information if you'd like (you're wrong), but at least I'm able to spell and make sense of those nasty grammar rules that elude you.
Krozni ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 04:06:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really worried about my grammar online. 9 upvotes agree with me.
Being honest. I don't think I need to lie to you, just so you don't get hurt fee fees. If you ask me a question and I'm just honest, you can not be offended without looking like a moron. If you wanna ask me what I think of your watch and I just say, "it's cool" and you continue to press me about how awesome it is, I think I'm free to tell you spending 5k on a watch actually makes you a retard.
drostan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May I point out that
your example escalated real quick
Your username is an example of answer I would agree with in this thread
pretty much anything fettish wise. I just dont give a fuck. so long as you're not hurting someone (without concent) I dont give a fuck about what you like in the bedroom.
Im always so reserved where ever I go so people try and brace me for whattever dirty thing they thought of. Then im like " is that it?"
Caught my brother with gay porn he lost his mind with fear and I just laughed it off.
Having many sexual experiences in your life and incest, it isn't for me but I don't see a problem if the two people really love each other or even just really like one another.
Eating dogs. Or cats. Really. Why can't I eat them? I'm not going to eat your dog, exactly as you won't eat a friend's horse if you have friends who have horses.
Yeah, I realize that. But "talking about the fact that I smoke pot" and "talking about pot" aren't really the same thing, are they?
Your initial comment made it sound like you were one of those guys/gals who pushes the ol' "man I got so high last night" kind of conversations on people, whether they're interested or not.
Sincere apologies to you... and your not-dopey friends.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Homophobia. I think it's bad, but I'm okay with it since I can understand that not everybody is comfortable with LGBTs.
How can you be okay with something if you think it's bad?
I'm not saying to hate homophobes and go on a crusade against them. You can like someone who happens to be homophobic. It's an unfortunate thing on their end, but there's more to a person than that.
But being okay with homophobia as a thing? That's like being okay with racism. Neither are okay. Both are cases of people being judged or hated for things they have no control over. I may have just misunderstood you, but if not, can you clarify?
Just to be sure, I'm not angry or attacking you or anything. Just curious.
Valiade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent mantra, but when one's views genuinely threaten the livelihood of others, then I really start to have a problem.
Now, if you're fine with legalizing gay marriage, or adoption, yet still find being LGBT wrong or disgusting, then that's fine. Unfortunate, sad, and outdated, but as you said, live and let live.
If you're actively impeding upon the freedom of others, then that's a problem that needs to be addressed and taken care of.
Sometimes, if letting others live means that that it prevents others from doing the same thing, then you need to instill some limits.
We could be on the same page, though.
Valiade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are on the same page. If someone hates gay people, sure I disagree, but my own hatred in retaliation is only going to drive them further into their ideals.
Now if someone is actively discriminating, harassing, or assaulting someone because they're gay then we have a very big fucking problem.
Then I wholeheartedly agree. Sorry for misunderstanding, and thanks for being so understanding and tolerant of others.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In most of the cases of the homophobes I know, they learned it from their parents or other authority figures. I don't really think it's their fault they're homophobic, but rather it's their parents/other authority figures fault for trying to force their views on their children.
Though that's probably just in my case, but that's my reasoning behind it.
Though one could argue that everything stems from that. Which you could then counter by asking who taught the parents and the authority figures, and who taught those people, and where it all began, and whether we are innately inclined towards hatred, as would be evidenced by the existence of it, or towards compassion, as evidenced by the existence of that, as well.
Which, I guess, would only mean that we are inclined towards both.
Taxing the shit out of the rich. This country allowed you to get that way, maybe you should be okay with paying that country for it's service. Plus you're rich, what exactly are you saving it all for, world domination?
The biggest issue with allowing the death penalty for rapists is it almost forces escalation. If a rapist is going to get the death penalty for rape and the same sentence for murder, logically he should murder the victim as well so there is a lesser chance of getting caught. Obviously both outcomes suck for the victim, but with laws the way they are now at least the victim could live and get help with recovery.
KJJBA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sort of agree. We shouldn't support vigilante justice or prison assault but if a murderer or a rapist ends up dead or assaulted its kinda hard to sympathize.
For one thing, making rape a guaranteed death sentence means rapists have no reason not to murder their victims and, in fact, it's in their best interest to turn every rape they commit into a murder... a dead wo/man tells no tales, after all, and without victim testimony, it would make it much more difficult to make an arrest.
5ives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:21 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rapists and murderers have issues and need help. They weren't born rapists and murderers, something caused them to end up the way that they are. I think there should be more therapy and less punishment in the justice system.
Zukuni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that they should have the option of the death penalty or to be used as a medical experiment for 1 year. If they survive the entire year they get to live life in prison. Think of the leaps in medical science we could achieve.
Saying gay, stupid or retard. I think people get too offended by it. So if I said "Stop being retarded." You really think I'm making fun of retards? No I'm telling you stop being irrational or silly, etc. And I say gay sometimes because saying lame or corny isn't what I always mean in the situation. Sorry I really don't care. I'm not gonna say it when I'm at work but around my friends or family I couldn't care less.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People flying a flag or being openly gay..yea its legal but idk why its such a big controversy...the flag is history..dont try to mask it..weve grown since then..and 2 gay people do not affeec your personal love life unless ur wife or husband comes out..but if that happens then there were problems before hand.(happened in my family..he was a total narcissit but thats another story) just kick back..be cool with one another..seriously..it takes less effort and you'll sleep better at night. Kids accept it with no issues..why cant we all?
I think in the terms of flags and whatnot, it's a case of freedom to say what you will. I might not support your views, but I would fight for your right to hold them because your right to mine yours is mine to have mine.
And the thing about kids accepting things doesn't fly with me, although I support people being however they are as long as they are happy, because they will accept the existence of fairies and magic and anything you tell them and sound convincing enough. I don't think this particular issue is that hard to get around though. Kids are just as happy to accept it as the people around them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone chewing with their mouth open and making mpa mpa mpa mpa noises, I'm only ok with it because shitty family.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eew...the picture that sprang into my mind of a whole family sitting around a table making mpa lumpa noises....
Picking my nose in the car! 1) It's my car 2) I need to get the air moving and the only way to do so is getting that blockade out of the way 3) It feels fantastic!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Steroids.
RE-Zen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Free speech ... I think it's absurd that no one can say anything or have an opinion without immediately being labeled as an extreme __________. (Racist, sexist, liberal, conservative, etc.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not holding the door for somebody. Doors usually aren't heavy. Unless I have my hands completely full, stop holding the door for me when I'm 20 yards away. Really, I can get it. I notice it the most when I'm at the office. People love holding doors when the person approaching is still a good distance away.
And then they expect a courtesy thanks and some small talk when you get there.
NO. STOP IT
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating alone or going to the movies alone. I have absolutely no problem enjoying a meal by myself.
Where do I start?
1. Not needing to be accompanied everywhere you go, even just to the shops
2. Obeying speed limits (bit harsh?)
3. Political incorrectness
4. I'll think of a few more soon
Correcting people and not cajoling stupidity. There's this idea that is not ok to correct someone when they are absolutely wrong. It exists very much in the service industry, especially. What we've created by this is a culture of extreme and stubborn stupidity. It's made us weak, intellectually. People are now outraged every time someone proves them wrong. We should be striving to learn all the time. It should be a welcome experience for someone to show us the error of our ways.
naco228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with getting into a car with a stranger without them knowing my secret passcode my mom told me.
abqkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking leftovers from restaurants. If my dinner companion doesn't finish her/ his meal, why can't I take it and eat it later?! I have a thing against wasted food and it bugs me to do so. I've been tempted a time or 2 to take strangers' leftovers, as I know they didn't spit on their way out, but that would be tacky, so I don't
Not laughing at things that aren't funny. The expectation that you're supposed to laugh when someone makes an unfunny joke during a speech or whatever sucks. If your joke isn't funny I ain't laughing!
Being wrong or making a mistake. Everyone does it - absolutely nobody is perfect all the time. And yet people are so damn prideful that they would never admit that they've done something wrong.
Being wrong doesn't make you a bad person. Being wrong and refusing to learn from the situation does.
Basically any drug that isn't heroin or meth, nudity, "adult" piercings, open relationships (we opened our LDR after a year of dating, best decision we've made for our relationship so far), group sex and swinging, and having sex with your friends (my friends are all great in bed, but I'm not romantically interested in them because I'm in love with my boyfriend, and if we're both bored and horny we can fool around and nobody gets hurt).
hoseja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TBH, pretty much all of them. I don't see the point, or the point is not worth it.
Double dipping. I tend to get some form of approval from those I'm sharing with ahead of time. Once I get that approval however, you've given it for life! So with my mom, sister and husband, I always double dip.
Skipping down the street as an adult. Sometimes I don't feel like running while walking is just too slow, so I just wanna fucking skip like I'm in a god damn musical 'cause it's so much more efficient by leveraging the momentum of physics, what's wrong with that?
Peeing in the pool. 12 ounces of mostly Coors Light being released from my bladder will not make a bit of difference in the 1000s of gallons that fill a pool.
But sometimes I'll get out and pee just so people don't start to get suspicious.
Someone asking for an opinion on something and the person gives you the truth rather then sugar coating it. Example: "What do you think about going to Disneyland with all of the inlaws?" instead of "oh that would be so much fun yipeee" Someone says "Well since we don't really talk to each other, and bobby and sue would rather be caught dead then be with each other, it's probably not the best idea".
Mass shootings. I'd like to think I could have control over this, but since society has accepted it. I've decided to make a conscious design to just be OK with it. Thanks Murica.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yawning really isn't such a big issue.
So what if someone didn't get a good nights sleep? Most of the time they aren't trying to be a dick!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spitting.
Zhylaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if sex fetishes count, while I really don't have any; none phase me and I'm down for whatever. You want me to piss on you? Sure I'll pee on you honey.
Randomly grab your colleagues boobs or vagina at work. I'm a stripper so this happens frequently. Just last night another girl I work with asked to see my vagina because it has no inner labia and she found it strange. Later in the night the same girl grabbed me by the bum and pretended to have sex with me from behind in the changing room just out of boredom.
cmg45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public sex. I wish we were still in Roman days.....
In Ireland the story is that at table, with all the family round, putting your elbows on the table was taking room away from the people either side and was disrespectful to them.
My girlfriend walked outside while we were waiting for our food to call her dad. She said it would be rude to talk on the phone while i'm sitting there, but honestly i would rather have her talking on the phone rather than me sitting alone in a booth pretending to do stuff on my phone.
Talking about money. Money intrigues me so I like to know how much someone is making at their new job or how much their car costs. You always have to dance around the dollar sign in conversation.
Honestly, racism doesn't really bother me. It's so common where I live that it doesn't make me as uncomfortable as it probably should. I wouldnt say I'm ok with it, but I'm just desensitized to it.
I don't shake everyone's hand on they way out or in, when it's a close group of friends even. Everyone is sorta just waiting... But I really don't feel like going around the room to shake everyone's hand... Fuck that
MeanaDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not receiving or writing thank you cards! I find them so forced and fake yet people except to get them when they give a gift. The whole idea seems silly to me.
TimmyP7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. It's the human body, and the main reason it's taboo today is because it's linked to sex, which is a false assumption.
Driving the speed limit. It seems like not going 10 over is frowned upon, since I'd be rich if I had a dollar for every car that passed me while I was going the limit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Table manners when im in my own home. I get it if your in public or at a dinner meeting/interview, but if im in my own home and tell me im eating my T bone steak incorrectly and you dont like it then you can fuck right off and leave.
Just talking about sex! Everyone acts like a prude. We're allowed to sing about the bitches we'll fuck, talk about a certain celebrity posing nude or having a wardrobe malfunction and an actress dressing in something sexual. But when it comes to having a honest conversation, it's frowned upon.
Eating after my friends. Talking to my fwb while he's shitting, talking about his iron not working actually, and then coming back many times while he's taking said shit to talk more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not blessing you when you sneeze. No need for you to do it for me either.
E_L_E ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running in public to arrive at a destination quicker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with a lot of things that are considered inappropriate. If something someone else is doing is hurting someone else or violating their rights or treating them outwardly disrespectfully, then don't be an asshole. But if it does none of those things and is just considered "rude" or "uncouth", whatever. Do what you do and people can deal with it.
Describing someone by their most notable trait, i.e. instead of "you met Bob... he was wearing a red shirt... he has glasses..." - "Bob was the black guy." I think it's a Canadian thing to pretend race doesn't exist.
Interesting observation..I've always felt that using a race adjective was reserved for someone not of your race. I.e., in describing someone white, like me, I wouldn't necessary call that out unless it required it. I know folks of other races can do the same, but curious vantage point.
This sadly helps to spread diseases though. I think it is okay to do anything that doesn't affect the life of others and the decission to not wash your hands could have an huge affect on the lifes of others.
e.g. MRSA or EHEC or HUS --> source: Dad is a doctor and was angry on people whilst the EHEC epidemic in Europe because they are spreading the disease by not washing hands.
Talking with your mouth full. Does not bother me. At all. But please people, chew with your damn mouth closed.
kiki2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I quite honestly don't give a shit which illicit substances people choose to use, or where, so long as they're otherwise respectful and not bothering anyone who doesn't want to be bothered.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I will get some serious shit for this......but I support American invasion of Iraq in 2003, that bastard Saddam Hussein and his regime had done enough terrible things and the fact that he didn't have nukes at that moment does not matter to me, taken I am not American myself so take it as you will.
Everyone being naked all the time. Personally, I just find it much more comfortable and I don't mind seeing other people au natural. Probably I got desensitized from being in so many sports locker rooms, but still, I would enjoy being naked all the time.
1Raizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with not having small talks.
For example if I see someone I know on the street and I don't really feel like talking, I just say hi and make an excuse so I could leave.
It seems awkward but sometimes I just don't really like to talk, it's not about the person, and I don't wish to be rude but I just feel drained sometimes.
sarais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this is one of those "sort by controversial to see the best answers" thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
I don't get the "I'm getting ready to stone you" reaction to two adults fucking, particularly siblings. I can see how a parent/child relationship can have an extremely unbalanced power dynamic but that's a reason to advise against it (if you're asked), not categorize them as completely and utterly fucked up.
Just to clarify; I'm not talking about reproducing, I'm discussing actual adults who are capable of rationally assessing the implications of creating life in these circumstances.
Farting. Obviously, don't drop ass in a closed in area, but if we're outside, or you go off a bit to let 'er rip, what's the problem. Everyone does it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower... while not taking a shower.
joshhc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not giving to/ignoring a homeless person asking for my hard earned money.
Giving misbehaving little shits kids the ass-whooping they deserve.
I so often see some poor asshole suffering a kid throwing a fit in the store or whatever. It sucks. But you don't know if the kid has aspergers or whatever the fuck, and also, there's few ways to piss off a stranger quicker than to offer unsolicited "help" with rearing their kid.
Man. Goddamn. The one and only time I saw a dad say something like, "You stop right now or you'll be sorry," I thought it was awesome. Then the kid screamed again anyway, so true to his word Dad gave him a smack, and the kid was all set to freak out some more but the Dad's raised finger in the kid's face and glare said, "I can do this all day."
The kid shut up and after a few minutes they went on shopping.
In the middle of the produce section of the grocery in front of God and everyone. It was glorious.
Oh another time a Mom was with three kids like ages 8-12 and the middle kid was acting like a damn fool. She apparently had enough but all she had to do was snap her fingers like a whip crack and say the kid's name and that kid chilled right the fuck out and came correct. I was impressed. To be fair that Mom looked tough as fucking nails and if she did that to me I'd probably do what she said, too.
Not putting bark dust on every inch of dirt on my property. I went to fifteen grad parties after graduating high school and every single house I went to had fresh bark dust laid down on every speck of dirt in preparation for having guests. What's wrong with seeing dirt or just growing more plants?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all of them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now of course racism and flag burning are two completely different things, but the thought process that something being protected by the first amendment makes it immune to criticism is flawed. Now I don't mind if people burn the flag, but I can totally understand why others would be upset or offended by it.
None really, manners and politeness are pretty important to me, and usually socially unacceptable things are socially unacceptable for a reason. Also everything I see here in this thread that I agree with, isn't really socially unacceptable. Like silence, who the hell thinks silence is socially unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who drink something with food in their mouth. I personally don't give a damn because it's their drink and they're the only ones who are going to be drinking out of it. The same thing applies to me so who cares? What, you get grossed out when witnessing it? Look away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most of the things in this thread are completely acceptable, only looked down on by a very, VERY small minority of people. which is also good, because if this thread had its way, we'd be living in some sort of totalitarian 20s society.
Singing in the car. I mean I do it all the time. But, for like that split second on the highway as you pass the other car you look around like you're listening to npr or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not washing hands, eating off someone else's plate/drinking from their cup.
Other things are not acceptable to break though. If i hand you something, regardless of how important, say thanks. If you are asking me to get you a beer from the fridge, say please... hold the fucking door open if i am 3 steps or less behind you.
Picking my nose in my car. Not you though. That's disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so many things -
Prostitution. It boils down to 2 consenting adults (provided both are 18+) having sex. And, let's face it, both men and women "pay for sex", it's just not always in cash. Sometimes it's love, or goods, or a house, or children, or whatever.
Incest (kind of). While I'm not into it at all I don't see why two cousins can't enjoy a good romp provided there's no risk of any harm to a possible child (I don't really know how that works with genetics). Parent and child is far too weird for me to accept, but I could even accept siblings. Whatever lol.
"Offensive" jokes. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
Taking pictures of people in public without their consent (excluding people getting changed or people in restrooms or whatever).
I mean you're in public you're obviously OK with people seeing you like that and the picture doesn't do anything. Oh you're worried that certain people might see it? Well what's to stop people from telling others that you were there.
I work at a coffee shop and a few times a day there will always be a pair of friends and one will say "order something, it's on me" and of course the other person will go "what??? No absolutely not you can't do that." And of course that goes on for a bit before its "ok ok but I owe you one."
For me if someone offers to pay for something that's only a few dollars like coffee, I don't even argue I just say thanks. Likewise if I offer to buy someone coffee it's not out of charity or anything. I'm well aware you dont need help paying for coffee. Just lemme do a small nice gesture for you, friend.
NOT trying to avoid the friendzone like a puzzle. If a girl doesn't like me for who I really am why would I like to make her my girlfriend? Also the friendzone is a retarded excuse.
I think the one that I really don't get is the social horror about zoophilia. Not really my bag, but not really something that bothers me either. Way I see it, as a society, we are perfectly all right with animals dying horrible deaths on an industrial scale. The vast majority of people simply don't CARE that in order to get that pound of chicken 10 cents cheaper, a LOT more chickens lived lives that were unhealthy, and died a much nastier death then necessary. Same for pigs and pork, beef steer and beef, and so forth. Add to that the ludicrous argument of consent, as not one of the animals above gave their consent to be suffocated/electrocuted/exsanguinated or whatever. Period. Life wants to live. And if you are going to be perfectly o.k. with the factory horror that leads to your double-with-cheese, why in hells do you care if some screwhead plays dick games with some other animal? I think it's mostly the hypocrisy that annoys me. If a rule applies, let it apply as universally as possible.
menkeee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping and farting as long as it doesnt smell bad.
occ1p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really loud and drawn out and/or beefy farts. Farts are just funny.
Pissing in a sink, honestly don't see the problem, it saves water....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like responding to obvious questions with extreme answers. For example, one time I was buying a can of paint and the check out person asked "So you going to paint something?"
"What? no. I'm going to take this paint home, dump it on myself, lay down in my living room, and pretend to be a carrot for 4 or 5 hours."
I mean come on. I buying a can of paint. What do you think I'm doing?
I have a much smaller personal space window than your average person so usually if im really engaged in a conversation people end up being a bit creeped out.
amnsisc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking, as long as you keep it to yourself. Ditto with teeth. I understand some people are grossed out by this, but I'm mostly "meh" about it. I hate it when people sniffle and snort, and nose picking solves that. Having things in your teeth is awkward because I have ADHD and I will stare. Pick it out. I don't mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because a leg is different from penis, and it's not just about touching that, it's that you touched other things in the bathroom that are crawling with germs. Not washing your hands is a really good way to make others or yourself sick. :)
I don't mind people pissing in public as long as people are moderately discreet and respectful about it
izvest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing comfy clothes at formal parties.
I don't think it adds anything to the party to wear uncomfortable and stiff clothes like suits. If I'm there, I care, even if I'm wearing casual clothes.
Not going over to say hello to someone if you see them in a social setting when there is no desire on either side to do so. For example, it is considered rude if you see an ex at a party to not at least go say hello quickly. Back before cell phones when people would just disappear into the ether, it made sense to talk to people you haven't seen in a while, regardless of how well you knew them. Now there are a million ways to stay in touch with people if you want to. Just because we are in the same room, doesn't mean its rude to continue to not talk when we haven't in a long time, especially if its just easier that way for everyone involved. I don't really care what you've been up to and I'm sure you don't want to pretend to be nice to my new gf. Why is it rude to just avoid all that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women going topless, anytime, anywhere. I'm totally cool with this.
Epicura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yawning without holding your hand before your mouth
Not acknowledging every person I know at gatherings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Defecating in public. Mainly peeing. It's kind of ridiculous. I mean there is being vulgar, and then there is needing to go, real bad to the point to where you don't mind squatting in a dark alley.
ixfd64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people that are being stupid that they are being stupid.
If they are acting as if they are retarded, when they aren't retarded is not only an insult to us non-retards but to the retards as well. They don't have a choice in it. We do.
Swearing and Eating with your hands. I do those all the time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I genuinely thought this would be a much more interesting comment section. Instead all you guys have to say is that you hate being with your friends and family.
SUPER DUPER late on this one but: premarital sex. I'm a muslim and so this is a big no-no and even though I haven't HAD premarital sex I legitimately do not give two FLYING FUCKS. But I can't say that. So here we are.
Phileap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to a grocery store and eating food without paying for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I lived with my ex-boyfriend, he would frequently pee in water bottles (we lived in a two story place and he often didn't feel like going downstairs to pee). He would leave these water bottles in places where, if friends came over randomly, they would see them. I honestly didn't give a fuck lol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. Is there really enough germs warrant eating the rest of the chip without dip?
Wearing a hat during dinner/pledge of allegiance/national anthem/inside. Can someone give me a good explanation for why it's considered disrespectful? It's just a hat
Seeing people adjusting or touching themselves in public. Well, undies malfunction to be honest. I am sure everyone does that ... so that is acceptable to me.
I don't like censorship on youtube, or the internet in general. You found it because you WANTED to see it! (But things like posting pictures of murder. I can understand that but swearing/non-sexual nudity? Really?)
Nose picking, farting (when not in a tightly enclosed space), snot rocketeering, undergarment adjustment, being in public in sweatpants/crocs/general lazy day gear (provided the public place is walking distance from your home and you do not intend to linger there).
Food sharing. I have a two year old who will have a plate of delicious food right in front of her - foods that requested by the way - and barely touch any of it. I'm basically the garbage disposal of the family. I can't see that for go to waste!
Abortion and acutally speaking my mind when someone is being a cunt. Oh and not believing in god. But I think poeple are coming around on that last one.
I might be a little late to the party, but I hate the rule that you're not allowed to wear a hat indoors or while eating. I love my hats and I don't see any reason to take it off when I go inside or eat.
Getting some of your germs will only increase my immune system
plain chips without dip are gross.
Double dip away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How unacceptable does it have to be for this thread? I'd have said "going barefoot anytime anywhere" but I don't get more than called a retard for doing it, and usually only by friends.
I don't know why, but my mom and others seem to have a huge problem with me conversing with sunglasses on. Like seriously, we're outside and it's bright as shit. fuck you, deal with my sunglasses.
Barging past tourists on the tube/underground/subway. Some of us have places to be, quit your dawdling! Let people off the tube before you get on and for heaven's sake stand on the right hand side of the escalator to let people in a hurry past.
Luckily during rush hour most people understand the 'rules' but those darned tourists can be so clueless.
Someone asking how much I make or vice versa. I'm genuinely curious how much people get paid in different careers and don't assume that if someone makes more money they are more accomplished or smarter (or even better off financially for that matter).
I am 19M. Honestly, it annoys me how everyone has to sexualize everything. My friends and family complain because they don't want their husband, kids, dog, whatever seeing a females boob. Like what the fuck, she is feeding her child. It's natural, nothing sexual about it.
I asked my husband, 65M, and he agrees, there is nothing sexual about it. He said really the only thing he looks at is the loving look on moms' faces, then goes about his business.
There are a certain number of people who think carving out some time to be completely alone is selfish. I agree with you 100%. I need to be alone sometimes.
Not looking at me while speaking. I really don't consider a lack of eye contact to be rude or distasteful, and I don't get why it makes a difference. I also talk to a lot of people who's first language is not English, and many times they'll look down or look at my mouth to better concentrate on what I'm actually saying rather than look in my pupils like a zombie.
In a situation where everyone is a fully consenting adult, I have no issue with polyamory, but unfortunately there are still a pile of disgusting assholes who use religion as a reason to marry 14 year old girls. I think it should be legal too, but we'd be traipsing through a minefield.
I understand that some assholes use it for exploitation.
If Polygamy was legalized then that section would become a extremely small minority, just like how it currently is when relating to society as a whole.
Straight up honesty. Having to beat around the bush or come up with excuses to spare someone's feelings is ridiculous and often leads to more trouble than it's worth. But somehow honesty has become socially unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm perfectly okay with never having children. However, where I live now this seems to be seen as an abomination. Women are only for nagging their husbands and popping out babies around here, apparently. Why is it anyone else's business if someone else does or doesn't want children?? Stop shoving your gross little babies in my face just because you know I'm not interested. :(
zardwiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any form of sex, so long as everyone is consenting (or inanimate and therefore irrelevant). Want to fuck your furbie? Not my thing, but who am I to judge? Maybe you get off on the furbie noises it makes. Want to get the crap beat out of you by ten men before you get off? Have a ball.
Has anyone said dating someone older than you? I feel like from 18-20 it would be considered robbing the cradle, but olden than that if you're old enough to drink you can see who you want.
Age gaps are tricky.For instance, 4 years, in age gap terms, is close to nothing. But a 16 and 20 year old dating versus a 24 and 28 year old dating are wholly different. It all comes down to maturity. You change a fuck ton between the ages of 16 and 20. It's not so much that it's wrong, but unless the younger party is very mature (or the older party highly immature, I suppose), then it gets a bit unhealthy, as there are certain fundamental differences that would make a relationship of that nature difficult to work with. But this is probably just preaching to the choir.
Larger age gaps, say, a minimum of 10 years, are even trickier. No matter what stage in life you're in, 10 years will change a person a whole lot. Never mind some gaps like 20 years, which is how far apart my uncle and his wife are. They started getting together when she was 17 and he was 36. If you ask me, that's disgusting and borderline pedophilic. Hell, it may even be straight up pedophilia. I'm still on the fence about it.
Talking about money and financial issues. Why be so private with close friends and family, know each others situations and help each other out if need be. Doesn't bother me people knowing how skint I am..
elk-x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Things that are unacceptable in the USA and nowhere else
Getting dick pics and sexual messages in general... I won't necessarily be turned on by them all but I don't think it's that much of big deal and I don't really get offended by them or grossed out
Mostly sexual stuff. Pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia, polyamory, corporophilia, even most fetishes don't offend me. The one strange exception to this is BDSM. No idea why.
A friend that eats his/her food first before my dish arrives. Someone not opening the door for me...actually I kind of don't like people opening doors for me beacuse it makes me feel obligated walk faster.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Murdering random people where they stand. Chill out people, it's the year 2015.
Breastfeeding in public. It is a natural thing. I do agree a blanket is would be more appropriate in certain places but if you don't have one and need to feed your kid, it is a must. People just need to learn not to stare when someone does it and it won't be a issue for them.
Pdsn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
groping in public. some girls hate it, but i especially like seeing a guy do it to their gf...just for a quick second, just grab a boob or grab that ass and squeeze, let it go!
Pdsn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
groping in public. some girls hate it, but i especially like seeing a guy do it to their gf...just for a quick second, just grab a boob or grab that ass and squeeze, then let it go!
Wilax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're a male, crossing your legs when you sit down.
I always feel as if people just assume I'm feminine judging by the way I sit, but having my legs crossed is just the most comfortable way for me because of my long, skinny legs.
It's a little gross since you're so closely related, but hey, if you want to, and they want to, and you all know what you're doing, and they're not, like, children, go for it.
Granted, it will land you in jail if you're caught, so I'd advise against it.
Nudity, polyamory, men crying, yelling at someone being an asshole, not shaving, not leaving ones house for weeks at a time, generally not conforming to gender norms, telling someone that they're talking about something that is boring to you, I'm sure there's more but it's what I can think of.
I'm find with marriage for Polygamists also. Lot's of people used it as a 'whats next, polygamy' after the gay marriage arguments. I kinda thought... sure, why not, if they all want too... sure! (and again, if divorce is legal for each individually)
Cussing. I say what I fucking want to. Obviously try not to over do it or use it in places like a funeral but in general conversation I cuss.
Getting wasted. No one really wants to get wasted and need to be helped home and such. Its not like they did it on purpose. So help them out and don't hold it against them. We all had those nights where the alcohol hit us particularly hard.
Being jokingly offensive. Everybody knows that person who thinks they are so high and mighty and every time you crack a joke about a socially unacceptable think they call it out. Crack a black people joke and they say it's racist as the black friend is dying of laughter. Holocaust joke? Not around them. Fuck off and get a sense of humor.
Drinking at all. Where I come from its very conservative and people frown at drinking at all. Everyone in my family drinks but they all hide it from one another to save face. Family reunions could be a blast if we all just came clean and stopped judging.
Speeding while driving. Todays cars are so much better then when the speed limits were made. Better handling, stopping distance, safety, sensors, crash test ratings, and on and on. Makes no sense that I should go under 85 on an interstate so I don't. Still have yet to ever be ticketed on the interstate. I think cops know it's bull shit.
Masturbation. We gotta do what we gotta do.
Dumpster diving. I furnished most of my apartment out of dumpsters and make money selling working mini fridges I get. Glare at me, tell me you are calling the cops, and so on. I don't care I want the stuff you are throwing away and I'll wave the money I get for it in your face.
Public making out. You don't have to stare. I understand if there's kids around or if it gets into groping that's a bit far. But just making out I'm fine with as long as you don't make someone a third wheel.
Grinding and making out at a bar or club. I mean plenty of people do it but some of the people I know still frown upon it. Nothing like the girl you have a crush on and finally got to dance and takeout with telling you she's so embarrassed that people saw her. At my college there was even a Twitter for pictures of people making out at bars or parties. To some was a shame thing. To me it was a scoreboard. I had fun and I don't care if people didn't approve.
That's leads into one night stands. Now I'm a guy who saves sex for girls that I at least have some feelings for. I'll take other girls home but no actual sex just hands and oral. Usually only girls I've met at least twice because I want to stay STD free. But I don't judge anyone, even girls who fuck around all the time. Power to you, just use a condom.
Not making eye contact during conversations. I find it easier to concentrate when I'm looking at something else.
Liking nerdy stuff like video games, cosplay, and so on. That's what I like so you don't need to assume I must be an awkward quiet guy with no friends. Also girls feel free to be nerdy guys love it.
Eating regular food and not buying into the organic food bull shit fad. I have friends who discredit me just because I eat stuff out of cans and frozen stuff. Well science says I'm in the right and I got the degree in agriculture so fuck off.
Having an older vehicle. I really like mid 90s ford trucks and I would consider it a dream vehicle. I now have one.
Being a know it all. I'm not just going to sit while you spread a myth or misinformation around. I personally find it interesting when someone corrects me and I'm glad because otherwise I'd look like a dumb ass spreading around stuff like wrong dates or facebook fake facts.
Part of the misinformation part is me being atheist I'd really like to come out to my family but I can't because they are in over their heads and wouldn't accept it. I'd also like it if it was accepted to hold friendly debates on the subject. Most older people though simply don't listen and therefore debate is impossible. My mom with change the channel anytime something about evolution or anti religion is on. On the other hand I watch church on tv on occasion just to see that my choice was right and it usually reaffirms my views especially the 700 club. That pat Robinson is a scum bag. You can tell he knows it's all bull and just wants the money and power. He rides around on his horse on his million dollar estate and tells me I need to give more to charity? I do need to but he's not the person to say it.
I'm sure there's more but I don't have time.
Fuck you, I'm not a lady. Am I at work, a funeral, around several children, or at a formal dinner with Queen Elizabeth? No? Then shove it.
Just because one disagrees with something doesn't make it morally wrong. I disagree with incest, I think it's gross and a bit sick. But if everyone is over 18, consenting, and fully aware of what they are doing, as well as not having children, then who am I to say they can't? It's not wrong. Icky, yeah. But wrong? I think that word is better used to describe things like rape or murder.
I don't like casual sex. I think it's sad how it's become an activity, how everyone is fucking everyone left and right and rubbing on each other in clubs like a bunch of dogs in heat. Is it wrong? Fuck no. Am I better than others in choosing to keep sex intimate? Absolutely not. I disagree with it, tough shit. Not everyone is like me.
As someone who says what she thinks with little to no filter, I feel your pain. Frankly, though, 90% of the time it's merely that others are in the wrong and can't deal with raw reality. There is the occasional time where you should have just kept your mouth shut, or approached the subject differently, but those are really few and far between.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may be wrong, but road rage is more akin to harassing the person you're annoyed with. Stalking them, running them off the road, getting out of your car to yell at them.
That's just reckless, irresponsible, and childish. Not to mention dangerous.
Getting annoyed and yelling in your own car? Yeah, no issue there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really, anyone that doesn't use turn signals, stops at intersections, or goes 10+ miles per hour beneath the speed limit deserves to have explosive diarrhea in the thick of standstill traffic.
A Mormon wants to marry 30 women? Let him. As long as everyone is over the age of 18 and he doesn't beat the women or force them into having sex, who cares?!?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you also okay with a woman marrying numerous men?
I know most people would think it's not worth their time, but I consider them "lucky" pennies and take a moment to reflect on how lucky my life is, every time I find one.
Someone checking their phone while we hang out. There's some interesting shit we like to share and talk about on the internet. It's just another way for us to find things to talk about. I don't understand the people to see and phone and go "WE'RE NOT FRNDS NE MO"
Polyamory, or at least open relationships. I'm not necessarily polyamorous, but I'd totally be down if my SO wanted to see other people. And I'd love to be granted the same privilege. That being said, I'd also love to have one person to really put my effort and energy into. Literally, just the general understanding that either party can sleep with who they want if they choose to is enough. I wouldn't feel any inclination to seek out other partners at all.
Not if you're trapped in a subway car with someone who just silently slid something so sulfurous and toxic that the smell reminds you of a rotting corpse.
I deeply grudge every single second that I had to endure of the taste of that in the roof of my mouth until I could get to work and chug some coffee.
That fucking mute crop duster must have had roadkill for dinner!
Calling people out on bullshit harshly and directly. That and being honest with emotions or how your life really is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing things like sweatpants in public, if this counts. If it's comfortable and doesn't have holes in the crotch region why the hell would you care? I'm not saying wear it to a funeral, but goddamn, who cares whether something has been deemed "acceptable." Do whatever you want as long as it isn't actually harming people or overly bothering them.
I'm a dude and girls give me dirty looks when I talk to them in a friendly manner. I'm not trying to hit on you, I barely even know you I'm just starting a friendly conversation because we're at the same party and you're a human being who probably has some interesting perspective to share. Also I'm out of your league and fiercly monogamous girl don't flatter yourself.
You're gonna need some stats to back that up and I think you're perception of what most guys want is really skewed by your own desires and experiences. A lot of us are polite and have a modicun of self control.
bureaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating dogs. Butchered through humane process of course.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking. I'd cum on your windshield if ya piss me off.
Some people might see it as me pulling my dick out in the middle of the street in front of a middle school. I explained to the officer that it wasn't for sexual reasons. I should probably find a gas station or McDonalds i guess...
Everything sexual or attraction related. Not the action, but the desire. No one chooses what gets them turned on. It's when we pursue certain unacceptable ones that make it different. And even those can be argued that they should be acceptable, but
I wouldn't participate in that argument.
I understand some can be very problematic and progress to more than just desire, but I would never condemn someone for something they cannot control. Though I'd be more than happy to talk about it!
Reminds me of the difference between Pedophiles and Child Rapist/Molesters/Abuser. Pedophiles are not evil or even bad most the time, they simply have an attraction to something and that's out of their control. Its when they seek out to find ways to stimulate that attraction that it becomes an issue, but MANY if not MOST pedophiles never do anything illegal.
And it's a grey area with a lot of factors to consider. Some people may be attracted to young teens, or even younger. They might find that "newly developed" look attractive, or simply attracted to them because of their supposed "innocence". And of course other factors that are much more volatile. Not talking about sexuality is something that honestly has such a negative impact, and possibly a leading cause to why people do things that are illegal.
It fucking sucks that people are taught to basically shun talking about it. Life revolves around sex and reproduction, it should be glorified if anything. Some ancient civilizations did, though I can't remember which right at this moment.
I realized, after starting college, that a LOT of people care if you chew with your mouth open. I have no problem with it because it was how all my family and most of my friends do it. I have a feeling it is a cultural thing because my family is chinese and most of my friends are asian.
Provided it's not illegal (i.e. not inside a public building or smoking an illegal substance) and you're not going to start sticking lit cigarettes into my eyeball, I don't care where you smoke.
Picking my nose. Sometimes you just cannot blow those lil boogers out, no matter how hard you try.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People being brutally honest. Sometimes I'll be an asshole or wear something stupid and if someone doesn't say "Dude, you're being ass." Or "Dude, that shirt looks retarded." Then I will continue to do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't eat red meat, smoke or drink alcohol. It's my own personal choice and I don't flaunt it or treat it likes it's anything special. Yet, somehow people get offended when they offer a drink and say "no, thank you." And if they learn that you don't eat bacon, steak, etc. it's like you're the worst person on Earth. I've actually been told its "unpatriotic" to not eat red meat.
"That's unpatriotic" is my least favorite response anyone can give to anything. I don't give a shit if my choice is unpatriotic to you. Just keep doing you.
Yes, but that's a skill most people don't have, and as the teller, I'd rather not keep up bullshit appearances, and as the listener, I'd rather not have to guess.
I've never had a smoke, but I'm not offended if my company does. I'm not sure if it's socially unacceptable, but I do know some that cringe at the sight- I suppose, in my life, I don't share any tragedies with smoking.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spitting - I do it on occasion (obviously outdoors) when no one is near or discretely.
I lived in Korea for some time so my habit worsened.If someone else does it, I barely notice.
Speaking casual in somewhat formal circumstances. I'm much more likely to open up to someone say "Hey, welcome to "Blah", you lookin' for somethin' in particular today?"
rather than
"Good afternoon, welcome to "Blah". What can I help you with today?"
I saw my daughter do this a few times and really scolded her for it. After I saw her doing it again, I researched it (thank god for the internet.) It's just a sign of anxiety in kids. Now, I try to coach her, knowing that she will be flamed by kids at school if they see her do it. She's getting better. I just think about the underlying cause instead of the repulsive act.
After reading all of these comments, I now realize the whole "Redditor socially awkward stereotypes". Almost all of the comments are completely fine but "People can do it in front of me. It's kinda like watching the discovery channel". WTF am I reading? It's not that it's weird for You, it's fucking weird for the guy and gal trying to have a good time when some awkward dude just walks in, popcorn in hands.
Being open and honest about everything. Perhaps because I am struggling with depression and anxiety and therefore give less shits than I usually do and so am open about it, but I think if people were more open and honest with each other about their problems, the world would be a less lonelier, more happier place.
HMW3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spitting, it's okay, if it saves you the trouble of accidentally drooling on yourself. Or if something gross got into your gob, what's the issue. It's fine.
Swearing all the fucking time, especially around your shit kids. Smoking in public. Taking acid before going into work at subway. Telling the man to eat 12 dicks. Farting. Letting my kids run wild in Wal-Mart. Driving my 85 cutlass with no mufflers. Displaying the Confederate battle flag. Introverts. Punching biggots (violence is never the answer). Smoking weed while driving. People that Crack wise during a movie at theaters. My neighbor, Steve, he never wears shorts that his old balls don't hang out the legs.
Burping in public. I don't mean like a t-rex accidentally stepping on a stegosaurus while auditioning to be the vocalist in a death metal band, I mean like if one slips out more audibly than it should because the burger & beer are so damn good. If a girl can burp comfortably in front of me, I like them a lot more. ........... and also I'm friendzoned.
Personal space, I have no problem standing face to face with someone with no breathing room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really mind bragging. If someone is a huge bragger and goes over the top, I just laugh at them. On the flip side, I think people should be recognized for their accomplishments more, except now we live in an age where that is considered "threatening" for people who aren't as accomplished. I think that's a bigger problem.
Hazzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is peoples definition of socially unacceptable?
Budrox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
swearing doesnt really bother me
cwwmbm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All popular first level comments: "Something that is totally socially acceptable, but I like living on the edge, so I'll name it anyways and people will upvote because everyone does it (which really makes it kind of off topic but I like upvotes)"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In dating, just openly saying whether or not you want go on another date. Instead, it's 'I think I might be busy', which I'm not sure means you are actually busy or you're trying to say no!
I was raised by an early adopter of the internet, who told me to be very judicious with what I put on the internet and instilled in me that it would never be taken down. So to me, honestly, I don't get why doxxing is a huge boogeyman that hovers over Reddit and many other online communities: all information you put on the internet you did so voluntarily, and it shouldn't be unethical to share that information. You can find out a lot about me if you wanted to, and that was information I'm comfortable with other people knowing. If I wasn't, it wouldn't be on the internet. A cursory google search and cross-referencing of your username isn't stalking, it's fifteen seconds' worth of work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public. I understand having common courtesy to not have a sulfurous and eggy "my coffee hasn't quite kicked in" fart in an elevator. But walking to my car in a parking lot or while outside at work, us it really that bad (not like one i described earlier, those are foul)
Unless you actually have pee, menstrual blood or poo on your hands, I don't care if you haven't washed your hands. It's way ickier that men don't wipe their penis after peeing.
Hair in my food. I mean if I see one I pick it out and don't eat it, but for me it's not some intensely repulsive dramatic thing that everyone makes it out to be. It's dead skin cells. Newsflash: the kitchen in restaurants is touching your food with clean hands all the time, there's dead skin cells on all of it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree. I feel were lucky because sometimes you find a hair in some really delicious food and that would suck if it bothered you that much.
Zyr47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding, not saying "You're Welcome", the others have already been said but not sending thank you cards and incest (given they're both adults)
I'm ok with peeing in public and having sex in public!
Pawn01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People chewing with their mouth open. I just don't give a shit. If you're sitting in absolute silence during a meal why eat with someone. I don't even notice when people do it. People are talking, eating, having a good time I just don't see the hatred. If they were burping loudly and blowing it in my face sure...but how fucking miserable of a meal do you have when you're concentrating on how another person eats their food.
I'm guessing I'm just more sensitive, but I can't stand someone that chews with their mouth open, including gum, slurps their drink, etc. For me it's disgusting. And eating on the subway is nasty, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in an elevator. It's a great way to practice keeping a straight face.
Doctors having to have you drop your pants or bra and look/feel your nuts, penis, anus, breast, or vagina. People always get squeamish and uncomfortable and odd why. Do you want to get cancer or something worse and die?
This is socially unacceptable but peps make such a huge fuss about this especially males.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual encounters with two perfectly able and consenting adults. Hold for cheating and adultery. Basically, I could give two shits if a man wants to marry a man, or two men, or a man and two women. I also don't care if two people of the same blood line have sexual experiences. It's not something I agree with, but it's also none of my fucking business. So I don't care if someone is gay, bi, into incest, polygamy, etc. As long as no one is getting hurt and everyone can give proper consent, I don't give a fuck.
Farting; and saying the word cunt. Seriously people in Canada freak out at this word. I'm not saying you casually walk around saying it but if your mad and someone says "shes a fucking slut" and someone else says "what a cunt" whooooo caresssss.
I love the look of shock on some people's faces when I drop a well placed "cunt". It does have to be used sparingly though, or it will lose its' impact.
Cannibalism. I think human's maybe intelligent, but that does not give us the moral right to make a less intelligent being less valuable. No one has a right to say that a being is so valuable that his life-less carcass is off limits. If it is okay to consume a carcass of a cow or a chicken, it should be okay to consume a carcass of a human. Just because one consumes human meat doesn't mean he values human life less. Because eating meat isn't about life, it's about consuming a carcass that will inevitably rot. As long as one does not kill with a sole purpose of having human meat, I do not care if you like to make human flesh into a burger. I would not care if someone ate my corpse, because I'll be dead and my body will end up a pile of bones in the end anyway.
All animals are beautiful in different ways, and if it is okay to consume the corpse of one, I think it's moral to eat all. However, humans should not be subject to farming. No one should.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't find the word Spic offensive. Yes I'm mostly puerto rican. My grandmother might but, I feel racial names are only as offensive as you let them be. Plus, I say racial jokes when my SO isn't around. She gets mad.
As a parent- Hatred for public playgrounds. Dear lord do I hate those places. I take my kids occasionally because I feel socially obligated and I know my little buddies enjoy it, but I can say with total certainty that there has never been a playground visit where there wasn't awkward situations and snide parental judgement abound.
I love my guy friends, and it is bullshit that I can't tell them that except when we are all piss drunk
getomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not buying reciprocal gifts. Bitch, don't buy me things expecting me to give you a gift in return. I won't give you anything and you don't have to give me anything.
Stealing from big box stores. We are all getting fucked by their prices, whether directly or indirectly, so jail is the only sanction against stealing from big box stores I take seriously.
What? Thats not being a hypocrit, thats good advise. stoping bad habits is not easy and if someone who has been there, or is there, advises you against it we should probably listen.
Natural selection. Why do we keep trying to save stupid people?
Rern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using your phone while out with friends.
If you're still listening and responding, I don't mind if your eyes are elsewhere.
tapport ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's the thing, your brain can only do so much. Giving responses is meaningless since you do it automatically anyway and listening stops as soon as you start to type a text.
The human brain really only focuses on one thing at a time. Even if you're doing two things simultaneously it's because you're doing one of them automatically such as walking and chewing gum.
And don't challenge me on this, it's completely proven science.
If we're talking big things, I'd say prostitution, polygamy, and drug usage (not to say I engage in any of those, but I find them okay, if you choose to do them).
If we're talking small things, the elbows-on-table guy hit it on the head.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not taking care of your lawn. It's a useless patch of land, I'm not going to waste money, time, and a lot of water on it. There are people in California during the drought who are still watering their lawns. Really? I know humans aren't completely logical (and that's a good thing) but this shit is just ridiculous.
I've never worn anything besides black. Every once in a while I'll get black with a blue tint that you can only see in light. But I don't understand some people. They act like I'm wearing a pink dress with heels talking in a high pitch voice.
bosox82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are just afraid of stuff they can't understand.. Do u man! Fuck it!! Another question if u don't mind, what made u start painting your nails?
Wearing clothes in public. Look, I'm totally secure enough with my sexuality that seeing other naked dudes wouldn't bug me at all, especially if I got to see naked women. Not all of them will be hot, but ENOUGH of them would be that it would often improve scenery.
That said...I worked at a private college campus for a while...so perhaps my opinion is skewed...
Incest, I guess. Like, between two (or more, if need be...) consenting, reasonably intelligent, safe Adults who are aware of any associated risks with the act.
Now I know there's a whole lot of grey area with this. Bumming your parents (or letting your parents bum you) is really not usually ok.
And on top of that, family dynamics being destroyed by sexual relationships is absolutely something that should be avoided. Touching butts with your brother would certainly put some stress on the nice happy family.
Now, I don't want to send everyone around boning their immediate family members, but I'm just saying that in an ideal situation where everyone involved was mature enough to handle it and the proper safe sex etiquette was applied, nobody should have any issues. You can't help who you fall in love with and/or just want to have sexytimes with recreationally.
Age issues are another matter entirely, and not at all what I intend to advocate. Also, I don't want to screw any of my family members. I wouldn't even think about it. That doesn't mean someone else doesn't.
Live and let live, I say.
Soileau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking with others about your salary and money in general.
-Arrow- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having multiple romantic partners.
If it's all consensual, why should anyone care? It's actually a good exercise in getting beyond jealousy and kudos to anyone who manages to make it work.
BDSM/Nudist/Swingers/bisexuality etc. If it is consentual and everyone is appropriate age, I don't judge. My own husband likes to wear ladies thongs. It makes him happy.
macrol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving the barhroom door open when I piss/shit/shower in my own house. Fuck you I like the view
Also being naked around my roommates
I'm also a guy
Handkerchiefs. They've gotten this stigma that their dirty and disgusting, but it's like, some days I've got a runny nose and don't want to go through 2 boxes of tissues.
Formula for babies.... Some women just can't breastfeed due to health reasons and are looked down upon by these demonic hate spewing tit feeders (fyi, my kids were all breast fed) but I see the other side and some of these women who are advocates are relentless for their cause.
Marriage. But not because I don't want to get married, I'm with a very sweet boyfriend of five years, I love the shit outta him, but because I think it's an overrated title. I had at least half a dozen friends/family members get engaged just this past spring, and we're happy where we're at. I hate it when people rush, I had to grow up through two divorces, so I'm not in a hurry. My mother (the twice-divorced parent) nags me with almost every Skype call about why we haven't gotten engaged yet, or why he hasn't bought me a ring, or why he hasn't done this or that, and it's super selfish and disgusting to hear shit like that. Sadly, I've heard the same droll from other morons. When did getting married be the end-all to your relationship goals? If we have a kid out of wedlock, idgaf because we'd be a happy family without having to get a title for it. We also live in a "domestic partnership" state, so it means even less to me. Not trying to knock on the LGBT movement, my sister's gay so I more than understand, but generally speaking I don't get the hype.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbating in public bathrooms. It relieves stress and aggression while increasing happiness. The only harm it does is make a few people feel uncomfortable
Using cell phones at parties / dinner / etc. Who cares? Enjoy yourself.
ih8umum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind them using their phone. That's the reason you have it, right?
What pisses me off is when I ask someone to dinner or whatever and we get to the place we're going, sit down, order, and then this person whips out their phone and doesn't put it away till we leave, only stopping to take a bite or two of their meal or look at me and say "yeah".
recreational drug use, polygamy/polyamory, destructive protest... like most things they can be done poorly, and i don't support all instances of them, but i don't see them as inherently bad, and done right they can be very beneficial.
ih8umum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mean to ruin your point, but I can't think of a scenario in which destructive protest would be beneficial.
Vaping in public indoor places. I don't do it myself, and I absolutely understand why other people don't like it, but I honestly don't even notice it most of the time until someone else complains about it
a lot of it has to do with how sensitive you are to nicotine. I personally get basically the same nicotine headaches I would get from secondhand smoke if I'm in a closed room with someone vaping.
iFIrsdl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely anything but picking your arse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
apparently stuff I didn't even know about
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in public. The world is my urinal.
Tirty8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being blunt. We have gotten to the point where sugarcoating has caused confusion and a lack of clarity. I would rather someone be direct with me, so the message is not lost.
Haven't read the rest of these replies yet, but the older I get, the more I feel like being nude. As a female, half the time I want to leave the house braless. I mean, I never wear bras or shirts at home, so why should I have to outside? If I'm driving home, all I can think of is how I want to take my bra/shirt off to be comfy. I've lived in Europe, and now I envy the socially accepted nudity I saw. It was weird at the time but...they got it right.
I'm ok with girls going topless at beaches etc, not for sexual reasons, but merely because men do it without anybody batting an eyelid. When technically they have breast tissue themselves just as women do. Although ours is obviously much more developed, and of course designed for nurturing young children. Anyways, keep your pants on please! No need for sand up there. Nuh-uh! Just the thought of it gives me chills... Eugh
Rushing relationships. Some people do it. Some people get married fast (including myself). If you're happy about what you're doing and you believe in it, it shouldn't matter to anyone else.
doreato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism, in some circumstances, maybe. If I'd in a car crash in the middle of the blizzard and a fellow passenger dies and I need to survive, then I will eat them.
I would hesitate if it was a child, though, someone younger than me, or a good friend. Like, I don't think I could physically EAT IT if it belonged to a child. I think I'd rather die than eat any part of a child, because their family would have a partial corpse. I don't think I could live with myself if I survived knowing some mother out there wept over part of her child, because I'd eatten some flesh off the body.
So, while I might not have the heart for it, I can't blame someone for cannibalism if;
1.) The person is in a survival situation
2.) the person they are eating has died from natural causes (exposure, starvation)
I'd have no moral problem eating human meat in a survival/consensual situation (whether I have the discipline to do it is another thing). If human meat tasted good, I'd have no issue eating it cloned.
Going to a movie by myself. Screw trying to get a group of friends together. I want to see the movie NOW, on my own terms. We're gonna sit in the dark by ourselves anyway, so why do I need company to be socially correct?
lukesdp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cracking your back/knuckles, etc. I find it really satisfying to hear other people's joints cracking so I have no problem when someone cracks their back in the middle of class
Don't get me wrong, it sucks when people kill themselves, but if someone really, truly wants to die then it's inhumane to physically force them to stay alive against their will. I've talked down a LOT of people, and I think that 90% of the time it's just an impulsive desire that goes away with a little new perspective and some lifestyle changes. But some people have lives that really, really do suck. The sad, fucked up truth is that "you have so much to live for" and "It'll get better" are just meaningless niceties. Sometimes people don't have anything left to live for. Sometimes it really won't get better. That's one reason why I think Dr. Kevorkian deserves sainthood; he understood that dying is natural and that at some point people are ready for that, and that people have a right to choose how they die just like they have a right to choose how they live.
If anyone reading this IS feeling suicidal, please, talk to someone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1 (800) 273-8255. They're open 24 hours a day. You can also PM me, I'm not always on but if I am I promise to respond as soon as I can.
I feel that people with suicide are just so wrapped up in all the struggles there facing they can't really see a way out. I don't understand why people are angry when someone commits suicide, or say the person is 'selfish' for taking their own life.
As far as I'm concerned, if someone is in a dark enough place they decided to end there own life, then they clearly had serious issues (depression, anxiety, ect.) driving them, and the living have NO RIGHT to pass judgement on that person, since you clearly have NEVER felt like they did.
That being said- suicide fucking sucks and is NOT the answer. It can get better with thearpy and meds, and I've personally come back from some rough shit. My Dad's taught me from a young age how to cope with my issues, and honestly, a lot of suicides could be prevented if people were more educated on mental health.
MENTAL ILLNESS DOESN'T MAKE A PERSON DANGEROUS. Lack of understanding and lack of treatment makes people with mental illness dangerous. America really needs to wake the fuck up and realize that mental illness is real and NEEDS to be talked about.
Sure, I can understand needing to trim it so it doesn't look messy or overgrown. But having a social norm where if you are a woman and don't shave your legs completely bare, you are equivalent to chewbacca, is crazy to me. If you look up the history on when leg shaving started, it's even crazier. I personally just trim my legs and wear jeans all the time, but if some of my leg shows when I sit down, I'll shave clean only the part of my leg that shows. It's truly a shame... hair is very natural, and quite fine when trimmed.
Edit- ITT: Startle farts and snot rockets. This thread is amazing.
Owning a van and handing out free candy. I mean come on, I just like to see the smile on their faces when I give them a Jolly Rancher. Can't I just be a nice guy with a nice mustache in a rocking van for once without the cops being called.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're welcome" as a response to the phrase "thank you" means much the same as the phrase "you're welcome, into my home". Rather it would mean "You're welcome to whatever favor I granted to earn your thanks." You're certainly welcome to not say it if it doesn't please you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's offensive. In fact, I'd say they're the ones stepping out of the bounds of courtesy by insisting that they are welcome to your favors.
Not that I'm necessarily okay with it, but I don't understand why people freak out when there is a head hair in their food at a restaurant. It is so ridiculously easy for this to happen. Unless it's a short and curly just pick it out!
peri0d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is two types of people in the world. Those who pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars.
Burping and farting are totally acceptable to me. In public I avoid doing them because of the social stigma. Swearing is also fine in my opinion. I have no problem with my child learning swear words because it is a part of modern culture. I am teaching her that there are places that these words can get her into trouble so she needs to be careful when and where she uses them. Also never towards a person.
Talking about sex, sexuality, and fetishes in public.
We all do it (see picking nose), so why are we so ashamed to talk about it around others? I have great conversations with my bartenders and friends in public about these things :D
Masturbating in public. As long as you're not showing yourself to others or being a creep using them as material. I don't give a fuck. Jerk it on the road all the time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Xeniox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about going pee on the side of the highway? I've done some long distance driving and sometimes a stop is just to far away to wait. Don't care, just don't register male as a sex offender for hiding behind a bush where no one can see.
LUClEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding in public. Wearing hats at the dinner table. Potty language.
This will probably be buried, but I honestly don't know what is wrong with sibling incest other than having high chances of birth defects. It would never be for me, but I wouldn't care too much if I knew someone who was in that relationship. I would like to hear others opinions on it though
Talking about politics, religion, or other sensitive topics before I really know someone. I would rather know how fucked your world view is before we begin a friendship. I'll argue with you civilly, but if you're going to be a dick about things then I don't see the point in wanting to have a friendship with you. I've learned a lot from other people about politics and such where I was ignorant before. I'm always willing to change my opinion if you can show me a good reason to, but a lot of people don't have good reasons for these types of matters, and thus they end up getting mad at me for my opinions. Some of my opinions are outlandish, but it seems to me that this whole world is a bit outlandish.
Tre2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. Like, if it's really bad and loud it's rude, but if you just fart, whatever, it's normal.
iskra13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having my own opinions on things and not trying to change others to reflect mine or shoving it down other people's throats. As it seems like it's socially unacceptable.
Today me and my family (plus my brother's friend) arrived at a 'batch/house' we booked for a week. The moment I got inside, I dropped my trousers and proceeded to rubs my balls all over the couches and furniture. My brother's friend was pretty disturbed by this, but I didn't give a fuck. The couches are MINE you hear me? MINE!
Only way to claim my territory, is to rub my testicles on it.
Edit: That was a true story, believe it or not, and no I am not insane.
Chewing with your mouth open. I honestly don't give a fuck unless we're talking face to face, or you're spilling food. I had an ex and this was her #1 pet peeve. . she would really get riled up about it. . Never got why. Live and let chew.
People dressing of the opposite gender. I mean seriously, who gives a fuck? Wear a dress if you want. Wear pants if you want. Why do so many people care about how others dress?
Sharing a table with a stranger when there are not enough seats. In Europe this is very common, because it is smaller and there is less space for tables. But here in America someone can be sitting at a table for 6 people and no one will sit with them, as if the table belongs to them. I can see having some discretion and maybe not starting a conversation with someone who just wants to eat in peace, but I will happily sit down at a table with another person if there aren't any other seats.
I like to say hey to strangers, or compliment a shirt I like or thank the whole restaurant (busser, host, server.) I'll even yell out my car window if I think you need a nice word. My buddies and girlfriend all hate it. I just want to keep people from feeling as down as I do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution and gold-digging.
(Let me preface this that I'm pretty much socialist and believe being wealthy unto itself is morally corrupt. ) What prostitutes and gold diggers do is exactly what white collar professionals do. Kiss ass, flatter, con, deceive, manipulate for some cash. And you morally and mentally whore yourself out for a career, why is it worse if it's your genitals? What's the difference between a wall street trader and an expensive whore? I mean, it takes a lot of wit to figure out how to become a jet-set $10,000/night escort vs an $80 one. They both have expensive lifestyles, taste, coke addictions, a short shelf life, and are about the hustle. Essentially we're talking about people who can be bought.
If anything, I think it's more morally deficit building bombs and drones for defense companies or to manipulate markets leading to economic crashes than to fuck with a rich man's feelings. More likely than not the wealthy person had to exploit a few people and/or benefit from some type of privilege to get where he is. And if we want to rationalize "hey, everyone needs money!" Everyone needs sex to feel wanted and eventually have offspring. Sex is female currency and it can be used to empower and enslave (just like money!)
It's laughable how much the general public sympathizes for wealthy sleaze bags when they get fucked by some gold digger. I feel like GOOD, this is the only time in his entire life where he gets fucked the same way he has inevitably fucked someone else. Wealthy people deserve gold diggers. You met a woman of your own caliber. Taste your own venom.
So yeah, so if your son wants to be a banker it should be ok if your daughter wants to be a whore.
I like to say hey to strangers, or compliment a shirt I like or thank the whole restaurant (busser, host, server.) I'll even yell out my car window if I think you need a nice word. My buddies and girlfriend all hate it. I just want to keep people from feeling as down as I do.
jwb7111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying fuck, in the right circumstance there is no better word
fucking around on your phone at dinner. I don't care, scroll to your hearts content. It's when people feel the need to point out how "people used to TALK to each other" I start to roll my eyes. Also, and this is more important to me- I love being a complete loner, my wife is very social and hates it about me but I'm miserable when I'm stuck in social situations.
s34ttle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not getting out of their way when they are walking and not looking where they are going. Just because they are inattentive to where they are going, doesn't give them the right of way.
I announce regularly that I hope I don't get hemorrhoids again. "Man those hemorrhoids were a real bitch." "Nah I can't lift that without help, might get hemorrhoids again."
Reddit seems to dislike the idea of using smartphones at the dinner table. But I can appreciate multitasking. Eating is a huge waste of time, might as well spend that time productively.
I usually don't do this out of respect for people who can't stand not having my full attention. But I personally wouldn't mind if you pulled out your smartphone.
Poly relationships. I don't want one, I'm married and don't always know how to keep my wife happy, I don't know how to cope with anyone else in that equation, but friends of my wife's family have a child who is in a 2 man and 2 women poly relationship, and whenever they come up in conversation they are just so shitty about it, like they are some monstrous heathens (and they aren't religious, it is just a personal thing for them) and I don't want to make that the hill I die on, but if everyone in it is happy I honestly couldn't care less how they live and who they fuck.
I've done the math, and with the average pool volume, and the average bladder, just 1 "pee" creates ~1 ppm urea, and there's ~1-2 ppm of chlorine. The reaction of the two is bad news for your eyes! SORRY, you will be.
scurius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
responding to passive aggression with total bluntness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being on your phone in people's presence. A lot of people I know (myself included) suffer from social anxiety, and looking at your phone for a few minutes can be a welcome escape. Since I understand it, it doesn't bother me.
Raleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever anyone messes up at the last moment, in front of the cashier, the groceries or items they take with themselves at the supermarket. We all make mistakes.
Pissing in public, as long as you follow the same rules as canines.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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HydRO-7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. A totally natural body function that society tells us we must inhibit. Does society tell us the same thing about sneezing, blowing our noses, coughing? No, it does not. Why are gastric functions so vilified?
Laughing when someone falls down. It looks funny, and I fully expect others to laugh at me as well. Unless broken bones are sticking out. Then I laugh on the inside.
Food being served at different times. I care more about when the food finished, so that they serve it as high quality as it can be, than it being served all at once because I guess people can't focus on the talking when others are eating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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DESR95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially how much they are used now. Words lose power the more common they are in everyday use. That's why I think words like "the C word" are more shocking to people than all the other common swears, because it isn't used a lot compared to the others.
snemand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not making your bed. Not only is it pointless but it also creates a bacteria-friendly environment. Minimizing those conditions is a good thing.
SJWs. Sure, some of them are misguided, but I have a lot more respect for someone that tries and fails to do the right thing than someone who doesn't try at all. Or, worse, someone who tries to tear down those trying to do good.
I'm ok with anything that doesn't involve exploiting kids or animals, is consensual, and leaves you in a good enough mood that you can do your work and be pleasant to me the next day.
Hans109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not having a girlfriend. Annoys me the most when my aunts keep asking "Do you have a girlfriend yet??"
I hate being asked that question. If I had a gf, MAYBE, just MAYBE I WOULD FREAKING SAY I HAVE ONE MYSELF? Why do my aunts have to ask this question every single time during gatherings?
I am Chinese, and you know this sort of aunts pestering you about having a gf is a relative normal behavior among middle-aged sexually frustrated women.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People having an opinion, living, beliefs, that aren't status quo. I honestly don't care. Just don't force it on me, we're good.
atty26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last year, I went to the county fair by myself... sort of. My husband was working it, so I went with him. I walked in the front gate (after buying my ticket) and he went in the employee entrance. From there, I went and did my own thing.
I got to go at my own pace, wander off in any direction I want (I suffer from BSO's--Bright Shiny Object Syndrome [100% made-up/100% fatal], spend way too much time in the various craft halls, eat ridiculously bad fried everything (deep fried peanut butter cups)... the people watching was amazing too.
I had so much fun.
liabach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything that doesnt infringe on other peoples rights by applying some degree of self responsibility, and that I can keep out of my living room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Checking out a hot babe, crying in public and shitting with someone in the stall next to you.
Being morally preachy. If people disagree with someone's stance then they can be confident in that and disagree. That's better to me then to not be exposed to other stances, and not having your stances tested. People who otherwise don't care much about various moral stances would be exposed to them and will hopefully be driven to do more research.
Double dipping. I need more honey mustard, ketchup or ranch. I deserve more honey mustard, ketchup or ranch.
I don't mind when others do it and I celebrate when we double dippers are not shamed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always think in pizza places it should be acceptable to eat leftover pizza. Sometimes you see parties leave like half a pizza untouched. I don't think this would work with all leftovers but the pizza slices are usually untouched.
I mean - not loud ones (yes, I can control the volume - maybe it's my hidden superpower) because that is rude - but sneaking in a silent but deadly, or a nice belch with your mouth closed...what's the big?
x9ui2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm NOT in favor of killing people, but if I was already dead and eating my leftover body could keep friends or family alive-- power to ya! I don't see what all the horror and shame is about when you find out this happened at plane or ship wrecks.
Actually playing with LEGO as a young adult. I am an older teen and in my spare time I love to sit at my lego table, put the figures in my hands and act out a whole story out loud as if I were 8 years old playing with little playhouse people. I gave a name to every single figure (70 +) in my city and created a backstory to each one in my head so I can follow up on their figurative lives the next time I play. I just tell family and friends that I collect the lego bricks and figures to build things with and it's just that. Not sure if it's more common than I think it is, but I know if I would talk about it in high school I would recieve weird/ uncomfortable looks and harsh comments.
When i visited the south, this is how it was. My best friend grew up in Savanah GA and he said that growing up, you just walked into people's houses if you knew them at all. Unless you were total strangers, you didn't knock. Idk why i just think i would like it a lot more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Commiting suicide as an adult. I don't know. Sometimes I just understand it. It's like, if you're done with life why not. I'd say maybe give it a year to see if you really want/need to do it and at least try to change your life for the better. If you'll commit suicide in the end or if you end up not doing it because things got better, you have nothing to lose.
I know I'll be downvoted and probably should be downvoted, but it seems like it's a person's natural born right to do what they want with their lives. The only time that really changes is when you have people that depend on you, especially children or younger siblings. Instead of killing yourself, it's probably better to live through the torture of life for their sake.
Ugh. nevermind, suicide is stupid. It's like letting the shitty life or situation you might have win. I think i'd personally rather say "fuck you life, I'm tougher than you, you bitch."
So i guess I'll change my answer to...showing nudity in cartoons made for teenagers. Female nipples never hurt anyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless for some reason I'm being on my best behavior. I'll rip one, or many in a row right in front of you!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting my leg humped by a dog. I was at a friend's birthday party (real small, only like 5 or 6 people) and the dog started humping my leg and my friend scolded him but I didn't really give a fuck.
Reaching across someone at the dinner table. Like either my arm is going to cross part of your plate for one second to grab the salt, or I'm going to completely interrupt your dinner to ask you to hand me something that's totally in my reach? Makes no sense to me
Terrible jokes and conversation of any fashion. The worse, the better. Make me want to take a shower afterwards. Talk about uncomfortable shit. Fuck your feelings.
Peeing in the pool or tub or shower. It really doesn't bother me. My ex-boyfriend was really grossed out when I told him I sometimes pee in the shower.
I mean, it's sterile. I don't do it all the time or even a lot but if I really have to pee I need to pee. Especially if I'm wearing a one-piece then taking that shit on and off is torture.
Contrary to (popular?) belief, urine is not sterile
rejoctz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating my food while my friends are waiting for theirs to arrive. I would do the same for them, if my friends are hungry why would I stop them from eating.
I actually politely tell people, if they ask, if I actually like the gift or not. For example my fiancรฉs Grandmother gave me a hat and immediately said, "Do you wear a lot of hats?". I immediately replied, " not very often (as I have a large very round head, which becomes immediately obvious the second I put on a hat), but I'm sure I'll get some use out of this one!" (as we were at the beach and I hadn't brought a hat) But then as the whole family laughed she thanked me for being honest and gave me a nice shirt instead!
Incest. As long as both people are consenting and within the same age range (I.E. legal adults, teens,ect.) have at it. Just don't do it for to many generations, cause that shit effes up the babies in too high of concentration.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being in an age gap relationship (>10 years gap). Couldn't believe at first that it could happen with me, but it is like any other relationship.
I am not talking about getting involved with someone in their teens, but someone who can be called an adult (I consider >25 years of age) and is mature.
As long as the relationship is perfectly consensual and everyone involved is aware of the risks, I can't think of a single argument against incestuous relationships.
I'm okay with people that play their music in public. Even it's from shitty cellphone speakers. They just want to share something they love with everyone within a 30-feet radius.
saying I'm not having a good day if it is true. Usually everyone, in a large social setting, just says they're good. Like wtf if I'm having a bad day I usually tell people if they ask how Im doing. Also I wish farts were socially acceptable but well.... They aren't hahaha
Not having friends.... I mean, I have 2 sisters and a sister in law that I consider my friends but that's it. My brothers don't count.. Hehe. I occasionally hang out with work friends but I don't have any deep meaningful friendships with people im not related to and I'm fine with that. Always have been. Yes I'm an introvert.
Calling fat people fat and short people short, calling asians asians and calling black people black. We should be accepting who we are not getting offended by it.
Nakedness. People need to grow up thin,beautiful,fat,ugly, it doesn't matter. The human body is what we've got. It shouldn't be illegal to show it. People shouldnt be judged for being naked in their own environments, or in public personally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not learning how to drive. I don't feel comfortable, as of yet, with the idea of me driving. I know I would get anxious and stressed out with something like that. But people are relentlessly telling me I should get my license. Also, it doesn't seem practical for me. I'm 19 and most of my money goes towards school, through which I get a bus pass, so I would have a tough time paying for gas and insurance. My family only has one car, so I wouldn't get many chances to drive. Maybe I'll get it at some point, but as of yet I'm fine with not having it, despite others trying to push it on to me.
That's why I waited until I was about to go to college to get my license. No car of my own to drive, no reason to (boyfriend and most of my friends had cars), family wouldn't be able to afford insurance/i couldn't pay for gas.
My mom only made me get it in case I needed for some reason to drive while at school. I ended up having a car to drive that next summer, and just got my own car this past october as a college senior.
Paying for gas sucks (thankfully parents still cover insurance), but the freedom is the best.
At the risk of sounding like your Mommy...please get it. Please. Just get it.
An emergency might happen. A friend could call you begging for a ride cause he's drunk and can't do it himself. You'll say "Can't help you, dog." He could try driving himself and kill himself and someone else. You'll spend the next 40 years regretting not having picked him up.
You think I'm being melodramatic? That has happened before. This isn't a fantasy. That scenario has played out in real life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flying the Confederate Flag
Mrubuto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a corner or surrounded by things. I'm not saying whip your dick out and start peeing. But against a building/in an alley is no big deal
Baoburu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose-picking on the public places.
whuzez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having your shoelaces untied. People lose their shit about it. If they won't let it go I tell them that in 40 adult years on this planet I have never tripped on my shoelaces. I have however had them tangle (while tied) in unicycle cranks which is tripping times 10 and you have about 5 seconds to contemplate hitting the ground as they get tighter around the cranks.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Male nudity when it's not homosexual or sexual in any nature. A lot of people get weird-ed out, I don't until it becomes sexual or it becomes provocative or you begin spin your dick around.
What socially unacceptable things am I NOT OK with?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scratching pubic regions in public. First of all, there's clothes there. It's not like I'm rubbing my nuts all over my fingers or a lady is cramming her fingers up her front-butt. Just a nonchalant scratch to get rid of an itch. Or to get my junk un-cemented from my thigh. Really, really annoying feeling.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People in NYC are super-pissy about their property.
If they see someone sitting on their stoop (or even standing on it for a second), they go wild. They bellow "This is my stoop! You are violating private property!"
You know what? This isn't a police state. Someone feels sick and needs to sit down on your stoop, LET THEM!!! Someone needs to take a photo and uses the stoop to get a photo from higher up than street level? LET THEM!!
This is what a stoop is, for people who might not know:
Same goes for other forms of private property. When my father and I once went to pick up my sister from elementary school, the school took forever and a day to release her and there were no chairs outside so we sat at the chairs belonging to an outside cafe and the owner went WILD on us. My father mumbled "I'm waiting for my daughter" and the dude snapped "I'M WAITING FOR MY DAUGHTER! What does that mean, I'm waiting for my daughter?!??! What does that mean to me?! I don't care who you are waiting for!"
For heaven's sake, get over yourself. Learn to share once in a while.
Touching/bumping into other people in public. It seems sad to me that people feel the need to say "Excuse me" when they come into contact with another person. Like, shit, you're not hurting me, it's fine.
Now, if you're running past me and shoulder-check me, I'm gonna be under your bed that night. But your shoulder and my shoulder can touch without it being offensive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being politically correct. Who cares? If you are legally obese, and I refer to you as fat, I am speaking the complete truth. If you portray the word "fat" as a negative adjective, that is your problem, but by definition you are fat.
Both liberals and conservatives have HUGE issues with this. Libertarians, too. There is a BIG stigma against those pills. Both hippies and right-wing Republicans hate them.
They'll both say shit like "ADHD isn't a real disease! It's all a scam invented by Big Pharma. Those pills are all chemical. They aren't natural. Teachers only endorse it cause they can't discipline boys and want the pills to do that work for them. You'll get addicted to the chemicals and be a husk of a human! Being impatient is a normal symptom of being a young person. What you really need is a good ass-whipping to cure you of your so-called 'ADHD'."
You know what? It's my body and therefore my business. I am an adult and can put whatever I want into my own body. I control it, not you.
You don't like pills? Great. Wonderful. Don't take them yourself.
But don't try to make my medical decisions for me.
But if you tell me you are a conservative, I'll say "Whatever, man. I won't judge you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: A lot of things I would never have thought socially unacceptable.
Day drinking? That's socially unacceptable? I have never in my life used the term 'African American'. Riding shopping carts? Who would ever find that unacceptable?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying grace. fuck people who make others say grace, and if not make them feel like they should be shunned. Mainly my family or friends family do that being I grew up in a place with a large Italian population. I'm sorry I don't believe in your fake beings, but don't act like I'm a murder for not saying thank you God for this meal.
If a woman doesn't use it, she might get pregnant. She'll either have an abortion (sometimes an unpleasant and very stressful experience), be forced to adopt (and God knows what horrors the kid might experience with the new parents or the foster care system) or an unwanted baby she can't take care of.
How is that better?!?!?
All this can be avoided with one pill!
Why can't people see that?!?!
Also, why can't women under 17 buy it? Some health reason?
You know what's bad for a 16-year-old's health? Being forced by the pharmacy to get pregnant against her will. And giving birth to a baby or having an abortion. That's gonna harm her mental and/or physical health.
It's bad for the poor boy who got her pregnant, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bra adjusting, dealing with sweaty underboob, letting the girls breathe with low cut shirts; I'm ok with girls do these terrible things in public.
And I'm ok with me being ok with this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
burping. among my circle of friends we literally do not care- in fact we care to a negative degree, meaning every time we do burp it has to be an offensive word- the longer the word or phrase the better
burping ''rape'' or ''AIDS'' is a pretty common one for example, but if you manage more syllables, then its even better, such as ''rapist'' or ''asshole''
Teachers having sex with kids never bothered me. Whenever I hear about a female teacher caught having sex with a 15 year old boy, I'm like "whatevs", and even a bit jealous, lol.
I'm not sure what to think here. Unless someone in school aspired to work at McDonalds for the rest of their lives cheating could be a big problem. Not just for doctors. What about engineers (structural, chemical, electrical,etc...), welders, heavy machinery drivers, pilots, etc... These people all have more lives then their own at stake. And if they don't really know what they are doing because they cheated their way through life to get there.
And what if you were applying for a job that you were well versed in and next to you waiting for an interview was someone who cheated off of you and they got the position. How irritating would that be to lose it to someone who doesn't even know what they are doing.
But then again people who cheat only cheat themselves. At least we hope that's how it plays out
Lsnofs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really late for this and will probably be missed but, being nude. I'm not going to go on some sex fueled rampage simply because my cock is hanging out, everyone is made with the same parts as their respective genders so I'm not revealing anything shocking and if it is a more common thing then it simply loses any awkward social constructs attached to it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IDGAF if you burp/fart in public. I have anosmia (lack of sense of smell) so it doesn't bother me anyway. Of course, I refrain from that myself since I know it bothers others, but I couldn't care less whether someone else does.
Nudity. I don't care, it's a body, I'm fine with it as long as it's clean.
AH17708 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Criminals committing crimes against other criminals. As long as it's not endangering innocent bystanders..I say fuck em. I think it's bullshit that someone can commit a crime against you but and then be protected in court once you retaliate against them ...I'm talking law abiding citizen type shit
Nudity, pda, drunkenness, etc. All the vices, so long as you're not hurting anyone, are fine with me. Might be gross depending in the person but not offensive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many top posts have the word "alone" or some synonym for the the answer, what are you trying to tell me redditors?
Farting. I mean, it's something natural. It might be unpleasant, but holding them in is really uncomfortable. It also makes no sense that people made darting something taboo when literally EVERYONE has to fart. It's just as stupid as making breathing a taboo.
When guys leave the toilet seat up, it's really not that hard to just put it down. Plus they have to lift it up to pee so girls can put it down after guys pee. I've talked to a lot of other girls and it appears I'm the only one who doesn't care.
The only time I saw an issue with it was when one of my close friends/roommate had a terrible uti(which she commonly gets, and doctors can't figure out why) and literally couldn't hold her pee in long enough to pull her pants down AND put the seat down so she would choose pants and occasionally fall into the toilet/sit on the gross pee covered inner rim. That's the only time anyone is allowed to be angry about a toilet seat being up.
walking barefoot... everywhere. I find it weirdly comfortable but I try to stop myself from doing that to avoid social stigma unless I'm around a large group of friends. People that are completely grossed out by feet totally irk me.
farting and burping in public. I don't really dislike fart smell as much as other people I suppose.
"slutty" clothing. As long as it fits properly, it looks fine.
Breast feeding in public. In fact, I find seeing a mother breast feeding her child to be rather heartwarming. Of course there are certain situations where it would be strange, like in a large crowd, or where it just wouldn't seem very comfortable, but any weirdness I might find in it wouldn't have anything to do with seeing an exposed breast (and I'm a straight guy)
Wearing a hat (or hood or doorag or whatever) in school. Teachers went NUTS over that. There was a never-ending battle over hats in schools. It took up so much classtime.
That rule is so out-dated. It is so ancient. It made no sense to anyone. Even a lot of teachers said "I'm utterly mystified by that one but I have to enforce it" to us.
Who gives a damn if you wear a hat in school?! If someone's hair is fucked up, I want him to cover it up!!
And it wasted so much time. Teenagers can't read well, can't do math, get pregnant, get someone else pregnant, get into gangs, are occasionally homeless, get abused by their parents and stepparents and can't find jobs. And we are worried about the motherfucking hats??!?!?!?!
As a Dyslexcicsic person I am a bit of a prat when it comes to spelling, as long as you're not rude or malicious about it I generally appreciate the correction and make a mental note of it.
Grammar Nazi's are great, Heil Grammar Hitler.
NeekoBe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about how you voted.
It might be something that only happends in Belgium, but people here do not want to talk about who they voted for. Even when i was younger and asked people in my family i was responded with 'YOU DONT ASK PEOPLE WHO THEY VOTED FOR'.
Same in Sweden, i don't know what my parents vote for, and i don't want to know. I can't really explain why but i would not tell anyone what i voted for, it just feels like that concerns me and me only.
Talking politics on the other hand i see nothing wrong with.
rinnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not asking is not the same thing as not talking about it. I talk politics on occasion, and some people will volunteer the information, but I would never ask. The custom might differ a bit here in California.
NeekoBe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aye, but do you know the reason why u would never ask?
I don't mind anyone asking me. I mean, if i made a choice then I better be able to defend my choice, right?
rinnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because asking puts the person on the spot, wherein they must tell you something which is not your business, or refuse a direct request. I would consider it rude to put someone in that position.
NeekoBe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tell you something which is not your business
'Not your buisness' in my book means 'i'm ashamed' when it goes about voting.
If you ask me for who i voted, i'd gladly tell people and try to convince them why that was a good choice (in my perspective)
Not trying to be a dick about it, i just genuinely don't understand why people act so secretive abouts it :p
rinnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they value their privacy, and their friends. Asking personal questions risks both.
pulezan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to read some jucy stories but all i got was "i like being alone", "i like eating alone", "i like drinking alone" and "i like calling out people when they behave like dicks". Since when are those things socially unacceptable? I do all that stuff and i've never felt someone judging me because of it. You eat alone when you're hungry and your friends are not, i like being alone when i want peace and quiet, i like to grab a beer or whiskey when i feel like it, if someone's being a dick you go ahead and tell them. It's like we're living in 2 different worlds.
I'd be surprised to find this one at the top of the page (probably because I'm replying so late) but here I go anyway.
I'm okay with incest. I don't understand why, when I've grown up in a culture that says "Let two consenting adults love each other if they do." that same culture turns around and says "Except those two, because they're related." It seems hypocritical to me.
Now obviously there are genetic complications, but personally I think it's the responsibility of the couple to adopt instead of bringing a possibly impaired child into the world. I also don't really see that as a good enough reason to shame and try to prevent two people being in love.
adza32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lotta thing:
Swearing - its just words ffs
Tattoos and piercings - why cant someone express themselves and have style? fuck society for making people be fake
Dating / dressing outside race - we are humans
Not following dress codes - style point again
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not having children
going to a movie alone
not giving a fck and staying home alone an entire weekend
If a submission gets more than 1k upvote, well I think whatever they said is pretty socially acceptable then
heeredd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
4chan
MrSluby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I accidently spit on someone when I'm talking or like walk into someone as we both go the same way, I just straight up call it out because its much easier than having the silent awkwardness as you either shuffle past them, or watch them rub your mouth excrement off there T-shirt or phone screen.
Speaking of your sex life. Specifically to the opposite sex. My closest friends are girls and they always come to me with questions/stories about what they do. In all honesty, it's just a bit of fun and it's interesting. Who knows? You might find a mate throughout.
There are many cases where two adults perform tasks under constent and completely free from any harm, where I just don't see the problem. For example: incest, prostitution.
Pec0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide. There are too many people on this planet and more coming everyday, so if you really want to check out, you should be able to say good bye to your loved ones and make a graceful exit from life when you want to without it hurting everyone you've ever known.
Swearing. In my opinion, it's natural and I honestly don't understand why parents wash their kids mouths with soap when they swear. Hell, I swear since I was five years old, and I'm a normal human beeing.
Being bored around and with friends. I like hanging out with friends and doing fun stuff but sometimes it's nice to play some boring card game or whatever. My friends can't even play board games without turning the whole game into some shot-frenzy where you drink so much you can't even finish the game.
Pathetic fucks.
t6393a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes. It is just a bodily function, and I am sure no one believes those old superstitions anymore.
Women being topless or breast feeding in public- they're just boobs. Stop holding them to this sexual idolized level. Unless it's being rubbed it's just a body part
It's a bit questionable if someone's wearing this hood over their face and you can't see what they're doing (or if they're wearing something with ridiculous captions like "BITCHES RULE"), but if it's just a baseball cap or a toque or something you just feel comfortable wearing (especially for people that might be having a bad hair day or just don't have confidence in their hairstyle or have visible head lice, or whatever it is) then I say let 'em wear it.
This is a big problem I find in modern day high schools/elementary schools/etc. that teachers almost shame students for, and it's something that, to me, isn't even that big of a deal. By the time they're in post-secondary, they'll have developed the common sense a long time ago that not wearing a hat in certain situations is required, but if it's just in a classroom - especially for a school that you're paying to be there for - and you're just working, it's not really an issue. It might have been "disrespectful" a long time ago, but times change, and especially in the scenarios I listed above, sometimes people just feel more comfortable being able to wear their bean cap or their baseball cap and not having to feel insecure about their hair or the problems with their hair. There are a LOT worse things that students do in school these days, I think wearing a hat during class is the least of the administration's problems.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. There's nothing wrong with wearing hats in class.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I went to high school, we used to have a bad gang problem so they wanted to minimize gang violence and stuff and made the policy so people couldn't show their colors or whatever.
Jeez, that's awful. Was this a gang problem at your school or just in the town your school was situated? If it was just at your school, you'd think the school would just find ways to take care of that - like actually contacting the parents, police department, etc. - that didn't involve making other students who weren't involved pay the price for other people's actions. Public schools have such awful "everyone has to pay for each other's mistakes, even if they're not involved" methods of handling stuff.
That sucks.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was the town. We didn't have metal detectors or anything. The gang problem was there before I went there in the mid 90s. It seems to be easier to put a rule in place than remove it, especially if it's something like dress code. We had all sorts of other rules like you couldn't wear all red or have bandanas, but those things never affected me.
That's what I figured, I was hoping that kids weren't getting away with stuff like that. Sounds rough. Did you end up moving out of there after high school?
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, then I went back after college. The school was actually pretty good, they are ranked pretty high I guess.
The problem is class disparity in the town. Huge lower class population with a large upper middle class. When I went there the gang problem was pretty non existent as far as I could tell. Drugs were a huge problem, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ok
Edit: I live in a pretty safe town, so I didn't see the problem with wearing hats in class.
People eating, chewing, slurping, drinking, smacking their lips etc. whilst eating. Really doesn't bother me in the slightest. Go ahead and eat how you want to damn eat. As long as it's not on public transport.
There was a guy I used to work with that would do this constantly - He'd wait until we were in a conference call and it was my turn to talk and he would sneak up behind me, press his ass against me and fart. At first it drove me bonkers but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't smiling thinking about it right now. Fuck I think I actually miss that kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
drostan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mouth farts are fine as well if not abused of
W360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being White.
masongr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody being able to say the word 'nigger.' Either it's appropriate for everybody to say it, or nobody. Allowing certain people to get away with it and not others is precisely the kind of racism that the term claims to be against.
yarghh will u be my ship mate as we conquer the 7 seas plundering precious cargo of rum and jamaican ganja with our smoking crew latino babes in yoga pants.
I misread this as "all my uncles and wives". Puts a very different spin on your story.
sl1878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing single parenting as a negative.
nutsaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not tipping. I'm really tired of paying someone to do tasks I would do myself if I was allowed to. Since they get paid minimum wage if they don't make enough in tips I see nothing wrong with it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:50:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
2.13 an hour?! Where do you live/what is your age?
As far as I understand tipping your waiter in the USA is a must because they are underpaid. In Western Europe you do not have to worry about that since minimum wage should be high enough. I only tip if I believe the waiter deserved the extra.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:09:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all true. It's $2 + tips or minimum wage, whichever is greater. Some waitresses and bartenders make far more money than if they were paid a standard wage. $20 a hour for unskilled labor is pretty good here.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:03:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's the tipped rate. If you don't make minimum wage your employer has to cover the difference. I use to be a waiter.
Not being politically correct. I could give a Damn less if you're offended by what I say. If it's true then get over it. And also, skin color. If someone is black, they're black. If they're white, they're white. Plain and simple. Unless you're born in another country you can't say your anything-american.
Feet were made for walking. Obviously people haven't had fancy shoes to wear forever, and you'll find that if you don't baby them, your feet are incredibly tough, strong, and versatile. You'll naturally have a better and more controllable grip than most shoes you'll ever try, and never have an issue with "rolling your ankle" because your foot can conform to the ground below you.
Our feet are incredible, and we lock them up and pretend like they don't exist.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree,if I could I would be barefoot all the time. Although some people don't wash their feet and should wear shoes, but if people have clean feet then why not let them be barefoot?
I roll my ankle when I'm barefoot.... Yep, I am that skilled.
skwnd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:49:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Broken glass, ouch.
ASCIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Internet piracy. The concept of intellectual property annoys me, simply because art isn't a commodity to be bought and sold. Plus, the creators generally earn enough profit from folks who actually "buy" their works that the people who get it for free aren't a detriment to their livelyhood.
Plus, most people are happy to pay for something as long as it's reasonably priced and convenient. By putting content behind restrictive DRM they're only turning of people who only have a passing interest in the content... and annoying those who are otherwise happy to get it. They'll now pirate it and maybe buy the bluray set if it's not an over bloated shut that's $80 a season.
Some people just want to try before they buy. I buy music when it's convenient, but I'm not getting it release day because what if it's crap or only has one good song?
Pretty much everything. Fuck taboos, I want society to look at its true, "ugly" self. Swear, use drugs, run naked in the streets, bring on the chaos. We need to stir up the culture and get it out of the archaic quicksand it unknowingly sleeps in, time to be real humans.
It's not about being a badass. To the contrary, its about being real, un subdued, with critical observation of the learned behaviors ane ego. Incorporating blatant disregard and uninvolvement in pop culture.
Farting. It's hilarious and satisfying and the ONLY possible downside is an unpleasant smell that's just a superficial side effect that will be gone in a matter of minutes. It's also an indicator of s healthy digestive system. We should celebrate it, rather than shun it.
Infidelity, don't get me wrong its not ideal but it wouldn't really bother me that much if I found out my SO was fucking somebody else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the reason other animals aren't eaten is because others aren't meat animals.
Pigs, cows, etc are eaten because they generate massive amounts of edible meat in a short time. Dogs and cats generate comparatively little meat for the time spent raising them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any animals as meat, why do people ignore the fact that the animals we eat care about their lives just as much as we do, I wish people would eat things with less complex nervous systems such as insects like they do in some cultures
Farting. I have chronic gas problems and I'm so fucking tired of doing the one-cheek-sneak. People don't get miffed when you cough or sneeze. Handle farts the same way. Holding that shit in hurts, man.
I honestly don't care if I see you fucking on the train.
notLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with
Other people being obese
Other people calling them out.
Both are unacceptable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slamming into slow walkers. I might just be an asshole, but if you and your friends are walking 3-4 abreast on a sidewalk, I don't care if I'm walking with you or against you, I will just not stop and let my shoulders hit you. It's a sidewalk, it works like traffic. Walk on the right half of it so other people may use it.
I literally despise those people. They have no concept of personal space, and expect everyone else to part around them. For the record I often walk in the street around those slow fucks because children. Stay as far to the side as possible!
Leeoku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did you do this weekend?
"Play videogames"
-Receives blank stare-
I'm ok with the guy always paying for dates, I'm ok with girls getting ahead in clubs without me. Because if gender equality exists, then the moment you abuse me in any way shape or form your gonna get the same treatment back (mental, physical etc etc), and frankly I am not ok with guys hitting girls or any of that stuff.
labrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BDSM, sado-masochism, pretty much any fetish is fine by me. What you want to get up to in the privacy of your own home has nothing to do with anyone else, as long as it's between consenting adults. I might not get every fetish, or be able to understand why anyone else would enjoy it, but I'm pretty sure I've got some kinks that'll leave others scratching their heads too.
Having no piety. I never talk about this, but I have not much respect for the death.
It starts with little things like not talking "bad" about someone who recently died, crosses over to mean jokes about death and then gets a twist noone understands.
I do not understand why it is not permitted to eat corpses, especially in areas where there is shortage of food and I do not see why eating of the own species is considered to be abnormal.
I do of course understand killing or hurting someone is bad, that's not the issue, I wouldn't be eaten when I am alive as well. But I wouldn't be disgusted by the thought to be eaten by someone after my dead, instead of buried in the earth where I am eaten also.
I also know a lot of people who are against transplanting organs of dead and so on and I just don't get it. Dead is dead, isn't it?
Would be happy if someone might explain it to me or could change my point of view, if it is wrong.
rohho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do not understand why it is not permitted to eat corpses"
careful mate, might cut yourself with that edge.
I know, but since the question was what socially unacceptable things we are okay with...
I am not talking about hunting people down to feast on them. I just ask myself why our society makes such a huge taboo out of it.
Don't get me wrong. I ate a lot of things that are disgusting in other societys like insects, turtle, shark or Balut... I just visited a lot of different places and asked myself.
I would not eat a human, because I know its forbidden. But I don't know why it is forbidden.
Also I don't get why people are okay with incest here but my mere question why it would be so crazy is cutting an edge.
Would appreciate answer of maybe someone who downvoted this.
Picture two 400 lbs men blowing their load on each other in a public park while children are walking by. Gotta remember its banned for everyone or its okay for everyone.
Having a beer on my own. Lots of people don't understand how I can do it since I'm your average 24 year old but I quite enjoy just having a drink or two by myself maybe watching some sports or reading a book.
As someone who has lost a family member to a robber in a convenience store, I strongly believe in the death penalty.
I don't think child molesters or pedophiles or cold-blooded murderers should even be allowed to live in this world. They're being fed and sheltered by the government while we have thousands of homeless veterans in the United States that fought for our country.
Cheating on a test, if you get away with it... All of our academic institutions yap yap yap about how bad it is to cheat while honoring prolific cheaters in history such as Watson and Crick, Shakespeare and even Alexander Grand Bell stole his innovation of the telephone.
It's not really about oversensitivity as it is about consideration for others. Not everyone likes fish. A lot of people hate it. Fish tends to stink up the entire microwave for quite a while, and consequently flavor any following food with it slightly. It's not cool to force others to eat what you did.
Now, if your fish can't be smelled from 8 feet away? Heat it up to your heart's content.
This applies to all strong-smelling foods. If it's communal, be considerate. If it's your own and people just don't want to smell it, well, tough shit. You should be able to eat what you want.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the level of autism on reddit is not overassessed.
Kissing other people while in a relationship. I'm a very curious person and every now and then I'll meet or see someone in public and wonder how they kiss. I've got a thing for nice smiles/kissable lips and sometimes I just want to satisfy that curiosity and nothing more. I've stopped doing that now because I'm married but it would be cool if I knew my husband wouldn't freak out if I kissed a stranger for science every now and then.
A lot of them cannot help their desires and hate themselves for them, and want nothing more than to be rid of them. How does that make them monsters? They're just sick, in the true sense of the word.
The ones who molest, rape, and get off watching kids (whether at a park or through non-hentai porn), on the other hand...they're the monsters.
I'm okay with pregnant women taking a puff of weed here or there. Not everyday, and vaping is better than smoking, but I know it helps them with morning sickness, anxiety and other physical discomfort.
as long as its vaped i cant even see how people have a problem with it...they fucd inda hed
Zavasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to Yourself, you have the conversation exactly how you want it. I'll admit to it. I was bored one day and taught (re-taught?) myself an interesting way Hitler could've handled Operation Barbarossa. Also don't give me the "talk in your head" shit, that shit isn't the same
Incest. I mean, in all seriousness, if you're both consenting adults and you're not planning to have kids, then who the hell cares if you want to fuck each other?
And I agree that if any of my female (or male) colleagues slept with a student, they should be fired. You should no longer be teaching at that school.
But jail? A lawsuit? I don't think so. A 14-year-old boy knows exactly what he's doing. The gay ones and the straight ones.
When I was 14, a classmate who was homosexual lost his virginity to a random stranger who was in his late 30s or 40s. Not a teacher, however. Some random dude that he met on the train. This classmate later bragged and laughed about it.
Teenagers want sex with adults. And adults want sex with teens. That's how the world is. It always was that way. Always.
If I'm recalling correctly, in the Jane Austen novel "Sense and Sensibility", which is set in 1792, a dude who is 35 falls in love with a 16-year-old girl who is a virgin. This is treated like a totally normal thing. Her mother doesn't object at all. He later marries her.
Today, this would be seen as a human rights violation, a perversion and a sex crime and Amnesty International would be called, especially if brown people did it.
Back then, it was seen as a perfectly respectable thing.
I am not saying marriage should be in the picture- but if the 16-year-old throws him/herself at an adult, she/he shouldn't be punished for it.
Totally fine with people taking up multiple spots in uncrowded lots. I don't do it, but I don't think people realize how often cars get dinged by the car next to them.
I have about 4-5 marks, scratches, dents on my car that happened when I was nowhere near it.
20 yr old women are AWESOME in bed. Women my own age are terrible in bed, and mostly baby crazy by this point.
JaronK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend fucking other people.
I know, it's outside normal. I'm well aware. I just don't care about it... or am happy about it, depending on the person in question. And the result of accepting that fact has lead to a much happier sex life in general (in addition to having multiple girlfriends who are into each other as well).
But it's not something a lot of people understand.
Texting and driving (unless they're in front of me at a light) instant horn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hats inside buildings and houses. It used to drive me nuts in school and it drives me nuts now. I've actually had some asshole make a comment about me wearing a hat in a retail store.
Drinking before Noon; everyone I know freaks out if they see me drinking before Noon. Fuck that, I'll do what I want, I'm not about to follow someone else's self imposed rules.
Elbows on the table; I have a grand mother who bitches about this all the time, but apperently it's okay for her to shit herself at the table. Hmm, I wonder which one would be considered more rude?
tvfuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whooping someone else's kid, or atleast set them straight. Growing up a few of my friends mom's would pop me if i talked back, my mom would do the same. It takes a village to raise a child.
I'm all for it if you know the person, it's not okay for a stranger to do. Like, yeah, the kid in walmart is crying, but that doesn't give you the right to discipline them. Yes, it's annoying, but the parent has to deal with it.
Also- gotta be careful about physical punishment. As a kid my grandparents and parents would spank me if I was bad, but nowadays, if a stranger takes a kid across there knees and strikes there rear- it's not okay. If it's a close friend of the family, yeah, it's cool, but just because you've said hi to me once or twice doesn't mean you discipline my kid.
That's what i mean. Although depends on the situation. For example, one of my old neighbors caught a kid (around 12) snooping in his garage. He told him to get the Fuck out etc etc, the kid said something like "i don't have to, i can do what i want". So my neighbor slapped the shit out of him. The kid screamed, cried all that, went and got his dad. Long story short, his dad wasn't mad, thanked him even.
Oh that kid absolutely deserved it. Must've been an eye opener for the kid- but like, if the kid was 6- I'd say after the age of 10 kids are old enough to face the reprcussions of their actions at the hands of other adults, but not sooner. I just have an issue if it's a young child, it freaks me out.
Double dipping. I mean...you see how big tortilla chips are, right? Why am I going to waste my time if there's no guac on it? What is the honest to god worst case scenario of double dipping?
Especially since the people who bitch about this are usually completely fine 'trying' everyone's drinks. Fuck you.
Both are bodily functions and are quite hilarious to witness. I may just be childish but what's wrong with publicly ripping ass and releasing thunderous belches once in a while?
A guy who doesn't wash his hands after taking a piss. I shower every day, I wash myself well and I don't piss on my hands. I will make eye contact with you as I walk away from the urinal and straight out the door. YOLO.
Without a doubt. I always use my elbows to use the flush handle. I also use a loose part of my shirt to pull the door open. If it's a door I can push open I just push with my foot as I'm walking out.
Sexual relationships with people who are related to you,
So long as its healthy and with consent between adults. I know in really close relatives, children can receive birth defects, which is why I think they shouldn't have kids, but shit-- its as dangerous to babies with mothers who are 45+ and there isn't nearly a such a reaction to that.
I like to say hey to strangers, or compliment a shirt I like or thank the whole restaurant (busser, host, server.) I'll even yell out my car window if I think you need a nice word. My buddies and girlfriend all hate it. I just want to keep people from feeling as down as I do.
Picking your nose. It's just efficient. Sure, blowing into a tissue can get some goop out, but there's usually a stubborn, crusty booger that has not only latched onto the inside wall of your nose, but made itself a part of your being. You could make a big spectacle of yourself honking loudly into a tissue as you futilely try to get it out the "clean way", or you could be a man and scoop it out in like 5 seconds.
Smoking... I don't do it, haven't in four years... But it doesn't bother me in the least.
Second hand smoke seems like trumped up nonsense (especially if you've ever had to drive to work in LA), and I'm very bothered by the limits to which common sense is being stretched in the name of getting smokers out of sight.
If it bothers you, I say deal with it. Changing lanes without signaling seems far more offensive (not to mention potentially harmful), and I don't see a multimillion dollar anti-asshole campaign out there.
Jay28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The way I see it, washing my hands after peeing isn't really because I was in the restroom, it's because of the day-to-day use of my hands. (doorknob, phone, tabletop, computer mouse, dead body, etc.)
I agree with that. I wash my hands after all those things. Truth be told, I actually am quite an avid hand-washer... After petting the dog, feeding the dog, anything with the dog, I wash my hands. In the course of preparing a meal I likely wash my hands 6-7 times. Any time I handle anything in the yard, I wash my hands. After the gym, touching all those barbells, dumbbells, and other machines....even though I have a 2K run back to my office followed by a shower, I still wash my hands in case my barbell-tainted germy hands make their way back up to my brow during my run. If anything I am an over-washer.
Therefore, I reject the premise that I need to wash them when I urinate.
I dislike small talk. I don't want anyone to greet me when passing. I don't need to be smiled at while passing. I don't need to ever hear the question "how are you?" or similar. I prefer conversations to have basically nothing like a pleasantry. Hello is about as far as I go.
RayCoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
girls having hairy legs or vaginas. If you hair grosses you out go have sex with a dolphin. I mean if it gets to be a jungle it's a different story but if you want a nice bush go for it. But shave those armpits, we aren't Chimps anymore.
I feel like if I'm on the phone having an important conversation, it shouldn't be so frowned upon to pay for gas, groceries, etc. at the same time. I understand and agree that it's rude to just yak it up while in the middle of a transaction, and I'm not saying I'm gonna take a call in all situations. But if my daughter, mother, girlfriend or work calls me while I'm paying for a burger, I'm going to answer.
Being engaged and not getting married right away... everyone like SO when the date!? It's called $$$ don't have it... we are perfectly fine right now.. unless you want to pay for it.
Saying "Oriental" instead of "Asian." I never once thought Oriental was a racist term; to me, it describes a regional feature of a select group of Asian countries.
Syntrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
23yr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. I did it for my daughter and never caught anyone staring at me sideways. Fiancรฉ said he saw a few people giving me dirty looks. I'm definitely glad I never saw them, I'd have flipped a table with one arm while continuing to hold my child in the other like a true warrior mom. Xina call
Incest. If you wanna bang your sister or brother or cousin/what have you. Go for it. Just use protection. With consent I don't mean go out and fuck your cousin or what have you without previous permission, that would be disgusting.
Also going out to dinner with another dude. What the hell is the problem? Can't two good friends eat a meal together?
When you look down on people's tastes, people inevitably say "Those things are so subjective, though. It is all relative. Different strokes for different folks. Don't be a snob. It's all about what you get from the music. It's all about what each individual gets out of it."
Ok, that is partially true.
But if you tell me "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" is a better movie than "The Godfather", you are a fool and I should be allowed to say so. That is just plain incorrect.
There is a huge difference between a pedophile and a child-molester. A pedophile is someone who is sexually-attracted to pre-pubescent children, a child-molester is someone who molests children. Seems pretty basic, right?
We don't get to choose our sexualities, they're hard-wired. To me, being heterosexual, homosexual or a pedophile is the same principle: A hard-wired attraction to a certain type of person.
Now don't get me wrong, pedophilia is a very harmful desire and it's devastating since it can't be acted upon without harming children. I've talked personally with a few pedophiles who have all turned out to be lovely people, all of which would NEVER act upon their desires.
From what I've witnessed, many are depressed and on the verge of suicide because they have to live with the fact that they'll never be able to function in a relationship or act upon their harmful sexual desires and they'll never be able to be open about how they feel because of how demonized it is by society. They feel deeply ashamed and wish nothing more than to be rid of this awful affliction.
There's a huge difference between those who have taboo desires and those who choose to ACT upon them.
The human mind is a fucked up thing and many of us have very taboo fantasies within the confines of our own minds, but it's how we act that defines us as a person. Can you imagine how awful it would be if people had access to every intrusive thought or dark fantasy that entered our mind?
Pedophilia is just a desire, a sexuality.
Child-molestation is evil, reprehensible and dangerous.
Coincidentally, the pedophiles I've spoken with are lovely people who would NEVER act upon their desires.
EDIT: To the people anonymously down-voting me... could you please specify a logical reason as to why? Besides an indoctrinated reflex to discriminate against pedophiles.
Now when we get to the actual sexual stimuli, that's a controversial and complex topic.
Child pornography is evil and to engage in masturbating to it is harmful since you're indirectly exploiting and taking pleasure from the trauma and sexual-objectification of a prepubescent child. You're essentially engaging in sexually pleasuring yourself to harming children.
However, if one wanted to engage in artistically depicting pedophilia through drawing or simply indulging in the private fantasies within the confines of your mind, there's no harm in that and it's a legitimate sexuality, as unnatural and potentially harmful as it is.
It's an extremely controversial opinion because as soon as people hear the word "pedophilia", their ass clenches and they think of "child-rape".
What goes on within the mind stays within the mind and it's none of our concern to vilify those that're afflicted with unconventional desires. However, if acted upon, that's what defines a child-molester and that's what's fucking reprehensible.
I agree with this. Pedophilia isn't inherently wrong, it's acting on it and harming children that's wrong. Of course fueling the child porn industry is harmful and wrong too, which is also awful. But someone who simply has the attraction but has no choice in that and actively acts against it is just a victim to this, I think.
I completely agree. I think there's unnecessary discrimination and there's an indoctrinated reflex to just automatically HATE pedophiles without thinking about the situation.
My heart aches for those who have been unfairly afflicted with this unnatural and dangerous desire that they can never act upon.
I don't care what others have said, there ARE pedophiles that're perfectly safe and I even witnessed one who was good with children and he would NEVER harm or touch them in any way. They're not all automatically on the verge of rape. For some, it's just a fantasy in their mind that they can't act upon, but it doesn't take control of their mind, it's just something they'll never be able to do.
I've been lambasted, my comment heavily down-voted and it's fully what I expected. Hatred of pedophiles will never cease to exist because it is unnatural and it definitely and understandably hits a nerve, but I wish people would think about it rationally.
Yeah, perhaps. I simply meant that it deviates from the typical cycle of procreation: Being attracted to young, attractive members of the opposite sex in order to procreate and continue the human race.
A lot like homosexuality and other things being perhaps "unnatural". But I'm aware that much like homosexuality, pedophilia also naturally occurs, whether that be due to some environmental cause, an issue with neurological development or chemical imbalance, etc.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking about either of those. I'm talking about the pedophiles who feel greatly distressed with their desires, not because they're difficult to control, but because they feel ashamed due to the social stigma. They feel profoundly distressed that they know they'll never be sexually or romantically fulfilled and that they have to conceal this part of their identity due to the immense shame it will bring them if revealed.
I'm not talking about the ones that lack self-control and are on the verge of raping children. Those are the ones that're as you said, a danger to society and they need to seek help immediately.
I feel sorry for the ones that're on the verge of suicide but have total self-control. Ones that're of no threat to children, but simply have these deep-seated desires but have to live with the fact that they will NEVER be able to fulfill themselves, it's devastating.
The pedophiles I'm talking about are NOT envious of child-molesters, as they're fully understanding that it's WRONG and they would NEVER want to harm a child, the thought makes them sick which further exacerbates their dysphoria, knowing that their desires are harmful. They don't look at a child-molester and think "Damn! Wish that was me.". It sounds like you have a misconception and you're unfairly stereotyping pedophiles.
The pedophiles I've spoken with feel disgusted by the thought of harming a child and are fully aware that it's WRONG. They're good people, they don't have ill intentions, they just have unconventional desires that can't be acted upon and as a result, they feel like killing themselves. You have a very narrow-minded view of pedophiles and you've crammed them all into one restrictive box as "Sick rapists" or "Sick wannabe rapists".
There are pedophiles that live productive lives and are valuable members of society. Hell, some are even good with and can be trusted around children! But can you imagine the distress of knowing that you'll NEVER be fulfilled emotionally or sexually? It's not a "Damn, I wish I was raping a child right now.", it's "I'll never be able to find love and sexually satisfy myself like a normal person.".
You sound extremely hateful and your mentality is identical to homophobia.
I'm not denying that many pedophiles are sick, evil individuals that need to be euthanized, but I'm saying that you can't stereotype and that there are beautiful people who happen to be conflicted and suicidal with these desires that they can't act upon. My heart aches for them and I feel worse hearing you talk about them with such heartlessness. I'm sure if it were up to you, you'd round them all up and cull them. You remind me a lot of a racist who thinks all black people act the same and you believe it with total conviction.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:41:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They can't fucking help it! It's a mental affliction that's hard-wired into their brain and you're vilifying them for it.
You seem so narrow-minded and so similar to a homophobic/racist, it's disgusting.
Here's hoping you give birth to a child who's a pedophile so you can stop being such a disgusting asshole about a legitimate sexuality and actually try to understand that they're not all the same and so you can realize that some of them are real people with feelings, emotions and not just evil monsters that lurk in the dark. Your feelings have been totally painted by the media.
THEY CAN'T HELP IT. Imagine not being able to ever find romantic or sexual fulfillment and being doomed to spending the rest of your life alone. It's not "pathetic".
It's just as "pathetic" as a gay man living in the middle east having to live with the fact that he'll never be romantically/sexually-fulfilled because of the vilification of being with a man. Would you call that pathetic?
Your view is so blinkered with hatred and disgust, you keep labeling their distress as "I'm sad because I can't fuck a child." when the pedophiles I'm talking about feel more along the lines of "I'm sad because I'll never find fulfillment.". That IS upsetting and if I knew I could never ever find fulfillment, I'd be devastated, that doesn't make me pathetic.
What you're saying is identical to the principle of: "All blacks are uncivilized monkeys, no exceptions.".
That's an identical mentality to "If you want to have sex with the same gender, you should be dead."
It's not their fault they're afflicted with these unconventional, taboo desires. They can be good people who live productive, happy lives and not act upon this desire.
I have sexual desires but I don't feel automatically compelled to rape people just to act upon them. There is such thing as self-control. There is also such thing as conflicted pedophiles who choose to seek medical help. To wish DEATH upon those that acknowledge the detriment of their harmful sexual desires and seek help don't deserve vilification, it's admirable and it's devastating.
Not even close to the same, consenting adults can do whatever in their bedroom or other acceptable place. Have multiple partners even but if you want to have sex with children and it cant be cured you should be in prison for life... But thats a waste of money and these people are scum to want to do sexual acts with children. Any fetish is good whatever and i font care about same sex relations at all, i got a few close friends who are gay.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah except gay sex doesnt hurt children, i cant believe reddit is okay with people who have any desire to have sex with children. Their is something wrong with their brain and if they cant be cure they shouldnt exist, let it be clear im talking about Prepubescent children, innocent kids that would be forever damaged by any kind of exposure to this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im an existentialist so i was abuse isnt an excuse to abuse another little kid, this isn based of social norms for me its that i know whats right or wrong, if i had anything to do with one of these people some not so nice things would be befalling them, revenge for he children who have had their lives ruined, peadophiles must be removed from this earth
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can openly talk about many issues i disagree with but peadophilia is not one, i cant believe you could defend someone who wants to take advantage of a child sexually, you disgust me. If there was a child abuse in my neighbourhood i would joina lynch mob to et him out, rape and peadophilia are the worse crimes a human being can commit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, why would i listen to someone who thinks child abuse is okay, and sexual at that!? You sir are a loser to think this and the bulk of society would agree. PEOPLE WHO SEXUALLY ABUSE CHILDREN SHOULD BE DEAD
If someone confesses to me they have interest in children, i would challenge them to a physical fight and beat their ass down or inform the police so they can find the evidence they need to arrest this person
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No i said i would fight ad hurt a peadophile, are you sir a peadophile? Im a big young man and im strong so i would certainly use it to help rid the world of people who hurt children
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats pretty fucked to joke around about but no, i was taught from a young age how wrong this is and you need to talk to your kids about it to prevent it and know how to deal with it if it happens. Sexual abuse isnt a joke so idk why you tried to make that funny. I have zero empathy to someone who hurts a child
jihiggs ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bex914 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Confederate Flag. Really don't care. It's people looking for a reason to bitch that are the problem.
Also don't really care about most Politically incorrect stuff. The USA is becoming a land of whiny little girls. People that get offended by stuff that doesn't even apply to them is dumb
Hmmm. This is the only one I actually disagree with. I recall running into some research to indicate that the bacteria sharing involved in using someone else's toothbrush isn't super good for your dental health.
maz-o ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why people would down vote you for answering the exact question. You're cool with doing this and very few others here are. Arguably this is the most on point answer.
Being late. I'm not so selfish as to think I'm the most important thing going on in your life at a time.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:33:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Habitual lateness is kills me. I won't make a big deal out of it, but if every time I hang out with you I am sitting at the restaurant waiting for you for an hour I'm probably going to stop inviting you, and I'll probably stop it taking you up on your invitation.
Aroha11 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breakup via text message. If 60% of your communication in a relationship is through a medium with heavy emoji use, why on earth should you have to change that when you're breaking up with me anyway?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it shows respect for the other person. Because they can see how you feel and see whether you're lying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what if you lose respect for that person and dont care and want to cut them out of your life? breaking up is breaking up. it should be more formal, but im not going to go out of my way to give this person the time of day. i wont hesitate to do it over social media either if the person is sketchy or abusive.
Cat-calling. I definitely say things a normal man would get arrested for. Being a male model helps.
Kitosaki ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:52:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Men getting paid more than women.
Go ahead, call me a shitlord who needs to 'check his privilege' but I don't know how married people are supposed to raise children without one person being the bread winner. There is a lot of biological responsibility as a woman (breast feeding, 9 months of carrying a child, the first few years of a child's life...) that women can do. A family, that now has 50% of it's income potential completely down, now needs to have a way to pay for it. Don't sugar coat it and tell me that the maternity leave is enough. Kids need parental love and a full time parent, or at least someone who is around to make sure food is cooked, house is prepared, etc.
Edit: "What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?" = Downvote me for my unpopular opinion. Thanks, reddit.
Ok so I would counter with a few points: (And for the record, I am a man and would love to make extra $ for my time, haha)
-In this 'new world' men and women would share in workload at home as well. It is absolutely possible to raise a child, while maintaining the house, and cooking, AND working. It's possible for a single father to do, or a single mother. It's not easy but child rearing really isn't meant to be. Preferably, if the parents are still married, both share in the work at home as well as office work. As for the maternity leave, I honestly think the best answer is simply to plan for a child. Children cost a lot of money, one way or the other. In fact the majority of the cost of a child probably won't even happen as an infant -it'll hit when they get to college age (if they do decide to go to college). All of this takes planning by the parents.
-I don't think kids need parents around 24/7, or even 8 hours a day. Eventually kids have school anyways so what does the mother (who I assume would be staying home in this situation) do during this time in a child's life?
-Of course, women who do equal work...really do deserve equal pay. This makes 100% sense in my book simply by taking a look at the fact that you have two people who do the exact same thing...why pay one more than the other? Plus the salary differential makes no sense considering if the women lost the hours that you are talking about (carrying the baby, taking care of the child) they make less anyways simply from fewer hours. Who makes up those hours? Potentially men can make up those hours and you can have slightly higher salaries that way.
-Honestly (and this is where I put in my controversial opinion) a lot of societies that have equal working opportunities for women are also developed societies aka first world nations. Population control can be a huge problem in these nations and using this monetary limit as a potential soft cap to the number of children a family can AFFORD to have might literally work towards maintaining a stable and educated population for the future.
Also, I do agree with pay equity (eg: we're both managers in the same business, with the same time in the job - our base pay should be equal)
I don't think that it should affect merit based pay (eg: my district did 60% more sales than your district) or promotion eligibility. If I am better at my job than you are, because I am a man, I should not be discriminated against.
I am not against equal work, equal pay... But there are just a lot of movements that are just like "derp dur, pay womens moar" and they keep using rhetoric and talking points (77/100 cents...) when they don't take into account a lot of women simply don't go for higher paying jobs due to other things in their lives (my wife had to leave her job when I moved, for example - she was up for promotion and actually doing well)
Sorry I'm responding on mobile and I don't like typing. I appreciate your response and I do agree with most of your points, I just don't see how paying a head of household (man or woman) more for having a family hurts people who are getting paid less.
Judging people based on their culture and religion. Your beliefs are essential to your character. There's nothing wrong with being discriminating about it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:45:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating dog meat
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:06:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading, using proper English, not showing more skin than absolutely necessary, abstaining from partying, not explaining idiocies with the ridiculous acronym: YOLO, using condoms, and being republican.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:53:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the last few years, If I think about poop/vomit while eating, my food doesn't taste very good anymore. I recall a time when I browsed 4chan a lot and was desensitized to gore/nasty stuff in general. Back then I could talk about anything and not lose my appetite, but no longer. I understand not all people care, but some of us have weaker stomachs.
I was at a burger house over the weekend and I put my almost 9 month old on the table in front of me. My brother-in-law freaked out, saying how uncool it was to do so, and that it was a socially unacceptable thing to do - it's gross for the next patron to eat where the baby sat. I thought it was ridiculous, but if it is in fact a socially unacceptable thing to do, then it's something I'm fine with as I will do that again!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:47:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hit 'disable inbox replies' on EVERY reddit post I make. Submission/Comment/Whatever. Really enhances my reddit experience not having to listen to you people.
Burning/desecrating national flags. Really though people should burn the US flag out of love for the USA. Where else can you burn the flag willy nilly and not even have to pay a fine? That's what freedom is. Fuck everyone who wants to make it a crime. Idiots get sooooo hung up on a fucking symbol.
Per the Flag Code for the United States: "(k) The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:12:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "please" or "could you give me the...'. People get pissed of at me for saying " Give me the x". Man, seriously, just give it to me and I will say "thank you". Especially when it's work and they actually have to give me the item.
Zniped ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:33:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking in the car if the windows are down, my passengers always make a big deal of asking me. When i'm lit up before you and not giving a shit, its a green light.
It seems like not doing that shit is starting to become more socially unacceptable, but then again I probably shouldn't use Reddit as a source of information on that subject.
People being rude or crude is just a part of tolerating liberty. I'm personally ok with people doing anything they want as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. In fact I would like to see more public drug orgies and random naked people on fart powered motor scooters.
This actually originated during the Bubonic Plague- people who saw someone sneeze feared they'd come down with the plague, so they'd say 'god bless you' in the hopes that god would protect them from the plague.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:29:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it won't hurt anyone, I'm okay with it.
i am completely okay with body hair, esp on females. when it became "required" for a woman to be hairless (pits, pubes or both) in order to be considered normal, attractive, or acceptable, i was completely turned off. trying to look prepubescent is sick.
Kiritoh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:57:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. I'm not getting a stomachache for you. I won't fart at the dinner table/while you're eating, but in general, fuck it. Especially if we're outdoors.
Farting out loud. Scratching your buttcrack. Wearing socks or shoes that don't match. Holes in clothes. Not making the bed or setting a table "properly". Talking to yourself.
Honestly everyone's lives would improve significantly if we abandoned "etiquette" that is purely ritual. I understand some etiquette, I understand why you should say please and chew with your mouth closed, it's about people's feelings, and their comfort. I don't understand why we continue to insist that it matters that elbows are on the table or someone holds their fork in their left hand while eating. These things do. not. matter.
The same goes for things that everybody does but we have to pretend we don't, like farting and talking to yourself.
Abortion, death sentences, killing all pedophiles, rapists, murderers - the hell with reform and life sentences, drug testing and mandatory jobs for welfare recipients, mandatory sterilization for those with a proven history of severe mental or psychiatric impairment, and those on welfare who have more kids while on welfare. Toilet Paper and water should be free!
Cantora ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:24:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
reducing free speech. I think the world would be a better place if people who didn't conform to Ethical Relativism were silenced.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Gay incest. I mean the primary reason that incest is illegal and taboo in society is the fact the siblings who co produce a child together , the higher the chance that the child will suffer from some of genetic disability. Gays cannot produce children , so why is gay incest illegal ?
nilok1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laws against incest are meant to prevent inbreeding and the increased risk of birth defects. However, like you pointed out, that's not really a possibility with gay incest. So, other than the "ick-factor" there really isn't any reason.
And we shouldn't pass laws banning things solely b/c some people find them icky.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly bruh. I might find that 2 same sex siblings engaging in sexual activity to be icky or gross however I do find it acceptable from due to the fact that its their choice and they are not harming anyone
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of a man platonically cuddling another man. Not unless they were camping, were stuck in sub-zero weather and needed to sleep together for warmth and survival. Only in life-or-death situations do men share beds.
Same for women with women.
Same for males and females. If they were sharing a bed and not fucking, they were 4 years old.
As a man, I have shared a bed with another buddy on multiple occasions. We're not gay. We didn't fuck or cuddle. Neither of us wanted to sleep on the damn floor.
lovere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:22:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't fucking hold the door for me when I'm walking behind you when we approach the door, cause then I gotta speed up my pace since you're holding it, just go. I didn't forget how to open doors since i entered the store...
Edit: I'm obviously a retarded introvert
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:18:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Driving 15-20 miles over the speed limit.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no visual contact and not saying please or thank (in most occasions). I don't have any problem with people that talk to me and it's seeing some other thing (basically cuz I do the same) and saying please or thanks in every occasion even when it's obvious it's kind of bothering so I forget to do it some times and don't even notices when people do it
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
d_smogh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:27:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conservation.
'If its brown, flush it down. If it's yellow let it mellow.'****
You should get this sign to hang over your toilet.
Talking shit about my mother. I really dont care what you think. I love my mom but if you like to talk shit about her go right ahead. She doesn't need me to defend her honor from some stranger whom she doesn't know or cares about.
I eat in restaurants on my own and couldn't care less.
I drink in bars by myself and couldn't care less.
I talk to strangers regularly.
If I need to adjust my junk in public, I shall.
I have zero Idea what I should do with my life.
I have never made a secret of how much I'm getting paid, I have told co-workers before their appraisals.
In short I think I do virtually everything in this thread and I'm sure I'm regarded as a perfectly acceptable member of society. I really don't think people care what others do quite as much as you may imagine.
Iouis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:31:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not washing my hands after I pee. I don't even touch anything so why should I even bother?
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is fecal contamination on your junk that will get on your hands. If you're just at home, whatever, but if you are dealing with a lot of people it's just the safest thing to do.
Nudity and the natural human form. Life's great leveler is spending at least a small time each year going about a normal day without your kit on. Gender issues vanish. Women who are no longer chained to the razor and make-up get to relax and blossom into who they really are; instead of having to look prepubescent all the time (morally indefensible). Everyone gets a tan. No lines. You are accepted for who you are. Total equality across race, religion and gender. It sets you up for the year.
Cats are different colours. Humans are like cats. Wonderfully diverse Cats.
Faranae ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:47:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory/multiple partners. And not just because I'm polyamorous.
Before I'd even discovered what Polyamory was, I always found it odd how people would see someone being affectionate with someone who wasn't their primary partner and scream "SCANDAL!". Like really. Love is love, so long as all parties involved know what's going on, what the hell does it matter?
Every time I see one of those "I think my partner has feelings for someone else" posts I just want to scream "SO?" at them. Just because they have a flutter for someone else doesn't mean they love you any less...
I have several busybodies in my building who I've heard churning the rumor mill about me. They old biddies can't even wait until I'm fully out of earshot either. Downright rude.
"Oh, you know her husband works so hard to provide for her and the baby, and she has men over when he leaves for work at night!"
"The other day I saw her come home holding hands with that bearded fellow who's always coming over. I think she's cheating on her husband!"
"That's nothing, she was making out with a different guy entirely when he dropped her off in front of the building. I saw it with my own two eyes!"
And that's usually followed by "someone should tell her husband".
My husband and I laugh about it. He really wants one of them to confront him about it so he can casually confirm and watch their faces go red.
Fat shaming. You let yourself become overweight because of your own life choices. You're a giant tub of lard and honestly I think you should feel bad about it. I'm not going to call you "beautiful" if I think you are not. I'm not one to celebrate mediocrity
True, but some people have disorders (not eating related- I mean hormonal or others) that result in a lot of weight gain. Others might be trying to lose it, but are struggling, or are currently on the right path to losing it. Definitely agree about not having to say they look amazing, though.
dengh ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The confederate flag. I get the racial implications, but it has plain historical meaning.
I had to sort by controversial to find this answer. I was going to post it, otherwise.
I don't cheat. I would prefer that my SO not cheat on me, for various reasons. And I know people who have had infidelity destroy relationships.
The thing I don't agree with is people (especially on reddit) who condemn anyone who cheats as an immoral degenerate who deserves to have their teeth kicked in.
I know people who have cheated and they're otherwise good people. I don't really respect them any less just for what they did. I might not date them, but I don't look down upon them from my high horse the way others seem to. You don't always know the situation that people are in, and really, it is probably not any of your business.
Toepeka ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 14:22:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
murder
Edit: i did nazi these downvotes coming. wtf guys. (upvote me please i need my comment karma to go up or i get banned)
NoHobbo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:03:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey, Toepeka, you should try to make a good post for once if you want your comment karma to go up. Just share a good vid in some niche porno subreddit or something. People upvote that shit like crazy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I know the difference.
Technically it IS a flag of the confederacy. It's the battle flag, used in every battle they ever fought - the stars and stripes had the same meaning as our contemporary American flag - its just a smaller version of the official flag. They didn't want to be caring a huge flag into battle like the Union so they condensed it to that smaller square type.
I really think more people should watch Ron Maxwells "Gettysburg" and "Gods & Generals" it really shows the other side of the coin when it comes to all the negativity regarding the different sides of the Civil War.
It was not in even close to every battle they fought, it wasnt the first confederate flag, or the second, or the 3rd. It started in the confederate navy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, most of the major battles: Gettysburg (all 3 days), Little Round Top, Antietam, Fredericksburg etc they took that flag into battle. The navy flag was hardly used, it was white and had the stars and bars to the corner, they then added the red to the end of the flag because Yankee soldiers kept mistaking it for a truths flag.
Yes i am aware of that but you said all and you are totally wrong in that account
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The early days of the war I would have to say they were using Gen. Lees headquarters flag, it looked strikingly similar to the original Betsy Ross flag - it also confused soldiers to what side it represented during battle. The battle flag was used 90% of the time. And I'm going to stand by my statement of it being an official flag, because it is. Wikipedia doesn't have all the facts, sorry.
I don't expect redditors to agree with me here, you don't live and breath that era, you're not passionate about that time in history, hence, its easy to turn that flag into a hate symbol and just jump on the bandwagon like most Americans now.
Wasn't informed by wikapedia my friend, you are wrong i have taken multiple history course (in high school, yes go ahead and make a comment that its high school ha ha) but i have been told these facts multiple times and researched myself, you are partially wrong, however what you said about the first flag is correct
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:12:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a World War II buff, but I don't want a swastika on my state flag.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Nazi party was responsible for human genocide. Huge difference. I could always be that guy and say that the Swastika is an ancient symbol, stolen and twisted. But I guess that's irreverent just like the CSA flags now. Too bad.
Not giving black people a free pass on the race card.
The2500 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Necrophilia and grave robbing. Literally victimless crimes. I don't do them myself, but the way people act you'd think they're worse than rape and actual robbery.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So if your mom died and wanted to be buried with her wedding ring you would have absolutely no problem with somebody digging up your mom's grave, stealing her ring, and then fucking her corpse?
The2500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Presumably I'd be ignorant of the event, so yeah. If the person announced it and made it public knowledge I might take umbrage with that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You also would not be ignorant of the event. Gravekeepers exist and they would alert you, the next of kin, to the desecration. So, do you now realize that you were acting like an idiot in your previous post?
The2500 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that grave keeper was just being an asshole. What is the point of telling me, what's accomplished? Maybe if you're a fucking idiot and believe in shit like spirit mediums I could hire an angel hitman.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:17:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because your mother's corpse was just raped, you fucking dolt.
The2500 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If my MOM was raped, I'd be bothered, but her corpse? There's nothing there to experience trauma. Who cares?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, free pass to just up and rape your mom's corpse whenever?
The2500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What would be wrong with that? All you're doing is making appeals to emotion. If you're going to make a case, you may as well make a case why we should feel bad for a refrigerator that gets raped. I mean, yeah, technically it can't consent.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is also nothing wrong with making appeals to emotion. I assume you're a human and not some fucking robot, so you have emotions. Or are you some edgelord who thinks they're "2logical4emotions"?
The2500 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:29:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is, there's a time and place for emotions. A living person you care about, yes. An unfeeling corpse that could not possibly give a fuck about anything? No.
Men hitting women. Women can deserve it, too. They're not these perfect little angels that are soft, delicate, and belong frolicking in a field with pretty flowers. In fact, women deserve to be hit more often than men, I think. They're so obnoxious.
crrime ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men hitting women. Women can deserve it, too.
sounds fair
They're not these perfect little angels that are soft, delicate, and belong frolicking in a field with pretty flowers.
sorta specific, but true..
In fact, women deserve to be hit more often than men, I think. They're so obnoxious.
Being blatantly anti-feminism and owning a #Meninist shirt (as a female). The looks I get are priceless
Aroha11 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:15:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are countries where you can be jailed for being raped ('adultery by force'), unless you marry your rapist. In other countries women are sometimes denied chemotherapy when they are pregnant, and they die. In my country of origin (Poland) a woman was forced to give birth to a child with no brain, because the doctors didn't think abortion was moral. And you think you are being clever.
Not clever, just egalitarian (which doesn't cater towards females) and, not sure if you are American or still in Poland, but here in America, feminists are by and large very biased, radical, and closed-minded man haters who don't care for equality so much as favoritism towards their own ideals (which are often skewed). I don't wish to identify with a group that intend to victimize themselves to further their own agendas.
For example, i'll jump on board if they start to recognize the blatant bias and sexism in American divorce courts regarding alimony and child support (as just one minuscule example). But until they strive for true equality, i'll never identify as a feminist.
Aroha11 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:56:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a Polish woman who lives in the UK. Recently, a nine year old girl was denied abortion in Poland (which is against the law, which - in theory - allows abortion in a case of rape), and there were other women who died or lose their sight, because their health problems were not honoured and they were forced to carry their pregnancies to term. Also, many women get fired the minute they get pregnant, so the employer doesn't have to pay for their maternity leave. This is against the law, but no one cares. I would like to know how would you feel in a place like this, knowing your life doesn't matter.
The disregard for fathers' right (common in Poland) stems from the same way thinking - that children are female issue, and only women should bear the responsibility. I don't know if you know this, but the battle for fathers' right is actually a feminist agenda, and all female court bias is considered anti-female.
When you use examples where equality simply doesn't exist, then yes, I agree that that treatment is grossly unjust and needs reform. When people's lives are at stake, and bodily autonomy is not allowed, then you are correct in every way; I would feel like my life doesn't matter. No one should feel that way.
However, the United States are a different story and what the women are fighting for, I cannot agree with. I won't go into every single detail, and some of feminists as a whole are the "good" kind; the kind that want to be treated as equals in society and be able to govern their own bodies (which, fortunately, we are largely able to do). Abortions are not yet outlawed, we have access to many forms of birth control, and we are allowed bodily autonomy (for now).
When I say fighting for things I cannot agree with, I speak of the many feminists that give the minority of them a bad name. Those are the ones that essentially blame men for their troubles. I don't need feminism because I am capable of co-habitating with men and not having to emasculate them to make myself feel big. I define my own standards as a human being and don't need a group of misguided individuals to fight anything on my behalf. I respect men and don't blame them for my problems. I understand we were NOT created equals.
My self worth is not tied to my victim complex.
When our country starts to resemble that of Poland (as well as many other European and middle eastern countries), then it gives us something to truly fight for. Until then, I am satisfied being a WOMAN while men are allowed to be MEN. If that makes me a criminal, then i'm fucked.
No1eFan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In America, feminists are by and large very biased, radical, and closed-minded man haters who don't care for equality so much as favoritism towards their own ideals (which are often skewed)."
Saying offensive things. Words like nigger only get their strength from stupid people who assign value to them. And no, nobody should be offended by the term for slave, since nobody and nobodies living family members have ever been a slave. Being black doesn't mean you have any relation to slavery outside of your skin colour and people who might have been your past past family.
Even so, just saying fuck you in response should suffice.
TeggyDA ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:31:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pregnant women smoking. I work with 2 pregnant women who smoke and Jesus Christ everyone has to make a comment about it, I swear I'm the only one who defends them every time someone says something. I didn't realize how many people were against it to the point they had to gossip about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think some people are too strict about what they do while pregnant but you really think they should be smoking?
TeggyDA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they should be but if they were smokers, they tried to quit, they can't quit, it's none of my business to go and gossip about it. Many of our parents smoked while pregnant with us and we are healthy. I guess I'm more okay with it because my mom smoked with all 4 kids and none of us have health problems. I'm not saying that health problems don't happen and whatever but I just think people need to find other things to worry about.
Swearing - I don't believe there exists a combination of letters that is inherently "bad," these words are useful and should be exercised. Of course I understand we have colloquially dubbed these words, "bad" and there's this tension when theyre used in social situations where one would think them not be used, but I think that's bullshit. What the fuck is your problem with those words? We all just think they're bad because we keep deciding they are. Stop it humans...stop it...
Jokes about Stereotypical things, calling friends an autist, retard (We do it to each other), making jokes about horrible events such as 9/11, aushwitz, jews, etc. Making society jokes about SJWs, genders, etc. Farting as long as it's not inside around people I don't know.
Offensive Halloween costumes. Don't get me wrong, there are lines drawn and some things are just waaaay too far and in bad taste (I've seen a few "Boston Marathon Victim"s and that's just too much). But if somebody want's to dress as Bill Cosby and do black face, I don't see too much wrong with that (be respectful, he is (was) a respected individual of that race and you're just emulating him). Conversely, if a black man wanted to do "white face" and dress up like Anderson Cooper or something, I say more power to him. Just don't do the offensive stereotyping and all is okay in my book.
And hell, I've secretly wanted to dress as a Nazi officer for Halloween for years and years, but feel like I can't. I don't see why (I mean, I do see why, but still) people are A-okay with dressing as a zombie army soldier, as a meth dealing Walter White, as a serial killer, as a prison inmate, a pirate, or a viking - but the Nazi soldier is no good. There are casualties of war, there are meth dealer, there are pointless killers, there are rapists and murders in prison, pirates attacked and killed innocent trade ships and did horrible things to the captured crew, and vikings raped and pillaged villages. Yes, the Nazis were bad. But if the above is okay, then I think my costume is okay.
It's socially unacceptable because people don't agree on what it symbolises. It's totally ok to have it in your home, but where people who think it's racist can see it? Not so much
artu165 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Homosexuality aka people loving other people.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Punching my girlfriend in public (I'm a man). I've never hit anybody in anger in my entire life, but we can get playfully violent and sometimes we'll playfully punch or slap each other. I'm just waiting for the day some chivalrous person comes up and tells me never to lay a hand on the weaker sex.
Viewing/possession of lolicon, zoophilia material, "yiff" and CP, pedophilia, some forms of bestiality, open ephebophilia (and acting upon it), taking one's shoes off during car journeys, going to the cinema by oneself, and asking how much money other people make.
heyoka9 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teenage brides- Its natural. Having retarded babies at age 40 is not.
Kimrong ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't feel lonely,get your right person.We love big beautiful women.Join here: http://www.bigmingle.com/
Cap3127 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Owning machine guns.
Dziecko ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm..Well, wiping out all non-disabled people. There unsufferable pricks. I plan on just pulling an Adolf Hitler, and burning there asses to dust. How great the world would be devoid of any non-disabled people.
First we would have to kill everyone in hospitals. We'll get them to take showers, and gas them when they are within the showers. Then we'll make slaves out of the rest of them.
People who murder their children. I know it sounds callous but I don't care when crazy people kill their infants. As far as I'm concerned it just means more resources for me and mine.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating or open relationship!
Sex is a need, and not that much of time both partners are really into it at the same level at the same time. The concept of being exclusive to someone only came recently (except the fact that before the kids were bastards) The definition of a relationship should be based on the love you give to someone, not the act of making love nor having sex. I find it more of a betrayal of the partner if you stay in a relation where you don't love the other one, just because it's simplier or more conveniant. And someone should not be ashamed of the number of relation he or she had!
I'm fucking fine with murder. A lot of people in this world should be killed but just aren't. I'm not talking about a dude runs a red light or trivial shit like that. I'm talking about stuff like known mob bosses who aren't in jail duento technicality, so richer fraudulent banker who out thousand of people out of jobs and walk away with a slap on the wrist.
Bestiality. More specifically sex with dogs and horses
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah just don't do it when you have diarrhea, just saying.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory (i think that's the right word). I don't mean like one man with 12 wives though, I mean a bunch of people who all love each other. It may get messy but what relationships don't?!
Creepshots. Im not talking about a hidden cam in a changing room or upskirts. I mean like she's wearing a thong at the beach or see through leggings at the gym or going topless in a public place where there is no reasonable expectation of privacy. By all means, take pics and document it for the spank bank.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hating gays, sexualizing women, drinking before noon, confederate flags, Owning guns, pre judging blacks, running bicycles off our roads etc.
๐๏ธ gnaan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This begs the question, is there anything you not OK with?
Leno405 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christianity.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating. Sex is natural. More sex is more natural.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women are too emotional to hold positions of authority
phism ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Littering in a city. You're not going to damage the fragile ecosystem of 47th St. Maybe we should have to see the filth we create. It probably biodegrades faster after getting run over by some cars than it would in a landfill.
Making fun of lazy fat people for being fat and lazy.
Yeah, I'm one of the verified FPH'ers. Throw your hate my way if you want. This is my FPH-mostly alt.
And to answer some of the most common questions: I'd only ever target adults (never kids; I blame the parents for that), I only mock the very fat ones, who weigh upwards of 300 pounds with 50%+ bodyfat, and I'll only do it when it's clear they put no effort into their health whatsoever.
So, the best place for me to do this is at grocery stores. If you are 400 pounds, load your cart with mostly soft drinks, poptarts, and chips (yes, I have seen exactly this; can provide shitty blurry pics if needed), and barely walk under your own power - I will mock. I'll look at you like you are an alien, then I'll fake waddle away. Or I may start flexing in your proximity. Or I might start conversations with people around you about how great fruit is.
Why do I do this? I know it's mean. But it's self-destructive for people to harm themselves. And, no one else will tell people that they are gaining weight, and they won't realize it until they are fat. Being fat has a huge social stigma despite how common it is, but there's an even larger stigma against telling people that they are getting fat.
I'll be happy to answer any questions. I'm respectful to all serious askers, no matter what anyone weighs. Most of us FPH'ers keep our hate inside our playground, most of the time.
If you are 15, you SHOULD be experimenting with that stuff. That should be legal. 100 percent legal. There is damage done when a kid doesn't sow his/her wild oats.
The drinking age should be lowered to 15. Or even 12 or 11.
A 12-year-old drinking wine at dinner with his/her parents is very normal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tittyfucking in public. Not full on sex, you understand, but theres something about a rock hard wiener going to pound town on a pair of succulent knockers in my local Walmart that is incredibly acceptable to me.
Not using turn signals. Just don't fucking tailgate, people. Unless you're driving right up someone's ass, another car suddenly appearing in front of your car shouldn't be a dangerous and rage inducing problem. Drive defensively to compensate for other people's failings.
To be clear, I do use my turn signals every time. I just don't understand the mass freakout over "MONSTERS WHO DON'T USE TURN SIGNALS!" As long as you are driving safely and leaving the appropriate amount of space between cars, a lack of turn signals is not a huge deal.
I'm just saying that I have never been personally endangered, annoyed or inconvenienced by people not using turn signals. I'm not advocating for not using turn signals. I just don't care when people don't use them.
No. Screw this. I can't agree with you here. Not using your turn signal is an effective "fuck you" to the other drivers around you.
I especially hate it when I'm trying to turn. There are times where I will see a car coming, decide not to turn because of it, and they turn onto the street I'm on. It's annoying. Had they signaled, I would have been able to turn, but because they didn't I probably have to waste even more of my time waiting. It's inconsiderate. It'd take more effort to actively seek out the situations where you wouldn't inconvenience or endanger people by not signaling, rather than just signal every time.
Well, okay. I don't really care if you agree with me. The question isn't "what socially unacceptable things are actually acceptable," it's "what socially unacceptable things are you okay with." I am okay with people not using turn signals, hence my answer.
Also, I never trust people's turn signals when it comes to turning. I feel that it's safer to wait for them to pass whether or not they have their turn signals on.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:24:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ethnic cleansing. I don't see any reason why the dominant ethnic or racial group shouldn't have an exclusive right to decide who gets to be included. Even if racial categorization is constructed on murky, questionable grounds, it's still preferable to multiculturalism and diversity for diversity's sake.
Pedophiles who aren't sexually active. Everybody has the right to be sexually attracted to one person/thing or another and as long as they don't break any laws they shouldn't be shunned in any way. This coming from a 15-year-old btw.
ginzeh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you for real? I'm guessing your attracted to young children then?
I'm not, I've had a strong relationship with my girlfriend for over a year now. She's in the same year as me (she's actually 3 months older). I just think that no one should be shunned for liking/loving having preferences like this.
That's A rough one dude. I guess If they don't look at material and never act on it it's fine, but it's still fucked up! In the end guess it's the same concept of rape/kidnap fantasies.... As long as nobody is hurt.
RNAPII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saved comment
The_Book ยท 3109 points ยท Posted at 18:11:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about salary. I feel like it's a taboo that benefits employers at the expense of labor who never find out if they're being underpaid. Certainly makes negotiations more difficult.
Punkrulz ยท 1070 points ยท Posted at 02:59:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one hurt me. A new coworker who did the same job I did told me he was making more. I had everything on this guy... More certs, more years experience, more training, and above all I was 100% billable which meant my company didn't pay a dime for me and made significantly more than I got paid.
Of course I decide to ask my boss wtf, but I'm in trouble because I discussed it and it was none of my business. It's none of my business how you're screwing me over?
IAmRoot ยท 702 points ยท Posted at 03:18:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forbidding workers from discussing pay amongst themselves is illegal: http://www.npr.org/2014/04/13/301989789/pay-secrecy-policies-at-work-often-illegal-and-misunderstood. It's an essential part of collective bargaining rights. Unfortunately, the labor laws don't have much force when it comes to protecting your rights.
doomngloom80 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:42:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is really good to know. When I found out people with much less experience were being paid more and brought it up, my employers announced to everyone that any discussion of pay would result in immediate termination. I'll have to add this to the list of illegal shit they do, just in case.
IAmRoot ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keep in mind that it's also illegal to fire people for trying to organize a union. Union democracies can become corrupt, like any system, but that's no reason to just throw up your arms and submit to management. They're organized against you with everything from the state establishing and maintaining the riches' claim to most of the earth's resources to their feudal-esque management structures. Nobody can fight a system that well organized without organizing themselves.
therealScarzilla ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:05:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if you live in a right to work state
MAcFuzion ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:28:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IF you can get documentation that this is why you're being terminated, you can file a lawsuit, and you'll probably win.
Try getting documentation, though.
Daemias ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:17:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They'll just pull another reason as to why you're being terminated or of their ass, so it wouldn't matter anyway lol
MAcFuzion ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:29:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that's exactly what I said.
secret_hitman ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 09:32:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was making a point that: No employer is going to put on paper "We hereby terminate /u/daemias for being a fucking dumbass."
So your point is kinda silly in retrospect.
bonespear ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:41:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does this apply to people who stream off twitch? They're contractually obligated to say nothing about how much they're paid
IAmRoot ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IANAL, but the people who stream off Twitch aren't employees. It's like they're small businesses making contracts with a larger business.
It becomes problematic when "independent contractors" behave as if they were employees but are paid as contractors in order for the company to avoid paying benefits.
EireWench ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:09:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adjunct professor here. Per class contracts are why I'm leaving the profession. Full time employment is getting harder and harder to find in higher education precisely because the schools don't want to pay benefits. A maximum teaching load of two classes per semester at 3k per class pretty much ensures I'll be working myself to death at three schools, teaching six classes per week to pay my student loans and mortgage.
Full time course load is considered three classes per semester plus committee responsibilities. I'm working nearly twice that for much less than what they make.
I wish Bernie Sanders and other politicians would recognize that this piecemeal method of employment is likely the next step for corporations if they change wage law. Sidesteps the whole situation.
tl;dr - Higher education is an awful, exploitative industry.
mcac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:39:32 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow adjunct, I feel your pain. I can earn a maximum of about 10k a semester for 6 labs or 3 lectures (half time because anything more they have to pay benefits). That's 20k a year. I only teach labs because there's less prep work and I don't have to create my own curriculum. Oh yeah and that maximum applies to all state schools so I can't even double up by picking up classes at another institution. It is just a side job for me but I know there are some adjuncts that rely on it as a primary source of income. It's really fucked up how adjuncts are treated.
bonespear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are called "partners" not sure what that means.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:31:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It basically means their position is a subcontractor for them, not an employee of twitch. By this contract they can then pay them whatever without benefits and make them sign an NDA so they can't talk about it and negotiate wages.
bonespear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the information
lunchtimereddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:13:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my contract it is stated that it is gross misconduct and a fireable offence to discuss salary. Work in the UK
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's always the case. If ya got nothing to stand on then there is nothing you can do. :-(
PrettyLittleTruthers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:48 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really???
Where I work they specifically tell us that we are forbidden from doing so.
It's just a food joint, though.
IAmRoot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the United States, anyway. It was one of the rights won after years of bloody strikes and is part of of the National Labor Relations Act of 1935. Unfortunately, a lot of people are forgetting how hard people fought for those rights and that the New Deal was on the conservative side of the solutions proposed. There were quite a few people who wanted to simply take over each workplace and run each one as its own little democracy and electing each coordinator position.
Dubzil ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 03:05:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to explain to your boss that you out-qualify this person and should be paid more and if they don't agree, they need to give you a reason why and you need to start looking for a new job.
puloko ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:51:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they should give you a proper bloody reason why you shouldnt be searching for a better job
liflo ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:23:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. You need to show your value and what you do for the business and ask for a raise on your own merit. Bringing up someone else isn't likely to get you anywhere. Most likely the skill he's one upped on is negotiating and self promotion.
asyork ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 03:29:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or he started with the company before he out-qualified the new guy, and the incremental raises didn't match up to what he could get as a new hire with his current resume.
You often have to trade income for stability. If you want to always make what you are worth you will usually have to move around.
BuyThisVacuum1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:40:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is correct, because there are numerous reasons why this could happen. The salary being discussed is a nuisance because the applicant was able to negotiate their way into whatever level of wage our vacation. When the long term employee goes to ask why they don't get that, the manager is put into the spot of having to disclose details of a private interview. There's not a lot of good answers, and a lot of employees don't like "please hang on while I figure out the best response."
10000_Spoons_Irony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:41:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how it is at the company I work for. I have been there for a while and know that my peers who are getting hired at my current level are starting out with much better pay since my salary over the years only increased 2-5% a year. I did get a little extra % for my big promotion, but I'm still between $5-10k lower than my peers.
quirx90 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:08:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This may seem like a dumb question, bu have you asked for more? My company does biannual reviews and at my last one, after my boss had finished his points I brought up the fact that I wanted to discuss my salary. I went in to the discussion with a list of everything I brought to the company and about how I felt that I was worth more now than I was when I was hired due to experience and my impact on the workplace. Long story short, I walked out with about 6k more a year. I know that this usually isn't a norm.. but there is honestly never harm in asking, and if there is then you should consider looking somewhere else.
dj_tommyg ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 03:47:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of good replies here. At the end of the day the new guy shouldn't have discussed it. It's a confidential contract between him and the employer. I'm in a position that requires me to recruit occasionally and due to our industry it's very difficult to find someone who is appropriately experienced. Sometimes this means we have to offer more to secure them in the company. This doesn't mean we are undervaluing our other staff but does make it very difficult if they find out.
panderingPenguin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread is about how talking about salary is taboo but probably shouldn't be. Any particular reason why it should be considered wrong for employees at a company to discuss the pay they receive for working the same position?
dj_tommyg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually a contract confidentiality thing. We have individual contracts that are customised to each employee. Sometimes the difference in pay is purely (as stated before) a matter of needing to offer more to secure an employee in a difficult industry.
Other times it's that even though you might be more certified and hold more industry experience your value to the company may not be as high. It sounds harsh but personality, customer service and adaptability play a big part in my technology based industry.
GeeJo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:33:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The company is perfectly justified in paying two people two different salaries for the same job. But at the same time, the lower-paid employee is still allowed to ask for whatever raise they want, and point to the other guy's salary as evidence that that's the market value of their skillset.
If the company really does value them the same, then they shouldn't have a problem with paying commensurate compensation to keep the employee on. If they don't, then they shouldn't have a problem with the guy walking away.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why women make less.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, the reddit STEM circlejerk.
Yes, there is a difference in which jobs women go into. More women become nurses and more men become doctors, so nothing to correct there. Women are more nurturing anyways, and men are better at thinking and being in charge so it makes sense to divide them that way.
This was a specific comment about when employees negotiate their salaries-- in these jobs, women end up paid less than men for the same jobs.
You only need to look at walmart, where women are disproportionately not made managers, which is higher paying, tor realize there is still some disparity.
I agree though; I should have say 'that's one of the reasons why women make less'.
http://www.npr.org/2015/04/23/401468571/some-companies-fight-pay-gap-by-eliminating-salary-negotiations
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:47 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't follow how succinctly describing relevant industries is circlejerking.
( อ ยฐ อส อกยฐ)
I'm not convinced narrowing our field of view to a single company is indicative of an inherent bias against women's pay, especially when men are generally known to seek higher education that qualifies them more for higher positions within a field.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:48:42 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stem= hood and high paying and everything else = crap is the stem circlejerk. I say this being in a stem field. In addition, stem is probably not the best to bring up when talking about gender inequality, as women face some of the greatest barriers entering stem fields.
Basically, you're saying that men pursue higher paying jobs, and that's why they are paid more, therefore there isn't discrimination.
I'm saying there's discrimination, which results in women pursuing lower paying jobs.
And I think the discussion of the nation's largest employer would be relevant to a discussion about wages?
DJ_IllI_Ill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:53:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women make less because they pick jobs that pay less and because they are less likely to negotiate for raises. There are no other reasons.
subsonik2nine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you are downvoted. It's the truth. Women are far less likely to negotiate for higher wages then men are statistically. Fucking knee jerk reddit...it's not an old boys club at every company.
Muffinut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:29:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the point, and is why /u/Dubzil is right.
HotWingExtremist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
show your value!? bullshit.
[deleted] ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 03:48:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are paid EXACTLY what you are worth. If you were worth more you would walk out the door and hire on at a competitor. After all you're worth more right?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 05:38:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How powerless and pathetic is that. We are all our own captains, if you want more take it.
bakercub1 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:53:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read a little bit of economics. Then discuss.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:42:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Because from an economical point of view the trade we make in money for labor is in perfect balance. Otherwise the employer would be forced out of the labor market.
But that's not my point. Either we accept that we are responsible for our lives or we let others guide us for their purposes. We each make that choice with every decision of every day. Want more money? Figure out how to get more money, because that's exactly what thegal driving that new lexus did.
bakercub1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:52:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Employees are paid the minimum they are willing to be paid for their work. If there are only 10 jobs for 100 people, of course the company only hires the 10 that are willing to accept the lowest salary. That is just a simplified explanation on how demand vs supply works.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 14:03:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So in the end the people competing for that job are paid what the employer thinks the job is worth to her. Exactly what its worth.
Life is not a spectator sport. You aren't out to fix the unemployment rate or solve world hunger. You are responsible for you. If you are worth more, get more.
bakercub1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:28:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what the employer thinks its worth, it's just the nature of a free market. The employer just has all the negotiating power. Think about it. You want to hire people to do some labor for you and you get to pick out of a group of people with all the same qualifications. Before you interview the prospective employees, you personally think the job is worth $15 an hour. You interview the people and you see that some are willing to work for $10 an hour. Do you pay what you think the job is worth to you or do you hire the most cost-efficient people?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Logically what is the difference? An employer can offer, an employee can accept. Saying the employee has no negotiating power os ridiculous. They withhold labor, and even offer labor to the competitor.
Your words male it seem like people who work have no part in the mutual agreement that defines their work.
Thinking some faceless corporate machine is responsible for your part in a mutual contract is demeaning.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:51:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 13:37:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life isn't fair, it doesnt have rationale. All we have is us. We can take was is handed to us and sit by as spectators to our lives. Or we can accept that we are going to take the reins, empower ourselves and do what is best. This is not a spectator sport.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:45:06 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know this would just be solved with socialism.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:54:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:45:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, i have a house with a view of tbe city, a nice job with pleasant coworkers in an interesting field, a beautiful SO sleeping next to me as i cuddle my cat and chat on the internet from my S6. So... pretty fucking good. How's it going for you?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:31 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:36 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you met my mom you would crawl into a cave and die before saying that. Good on you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:11 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:58 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I'm pretty sure you would.
ezone2kil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:58:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would be ideal, yes. Except for all the non-compete clause in our contracts. I work in pharma and I'm not allowed to work for a direct competitor within 1 year of leaving. I didn't give a fuck and went on anyway. There's really nothing they can do to enforce it.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:44:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ive signed those too. I signed them. Me, I'm responsible for that signature.
HotWingExtremist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:02:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bahahahaha. First of all, theirs no way concrete or agreed way to measure a labourer's worth, so that's impossible. People get paid far less or far more than they're "worth" to a capitalist all the time. Its arbitrary and you're fooling yourself if your think otherwise. Capitalism: the fantasy that an 'invisible hand' always make every outcome fair.
positiveinfluences ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't get it. We are all paid exactly what we are "worth" in the given context, because your employee gives that amount of money, and you accept that amount of money as compensation for your time. It's not about capitalism being fair (it's not), but if you do a job that pays you jackshit, in that context you are accepting that your time is worth what they pay you. It doesn't determine your worth as a human, that's an intangible thing, just how much your worth is determined between you and your employer.
HotWingExtremist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But accepting a salary doesnt mean jack shit in terms of worth. companies make mistakes all the time about employee pay and are forced to either benefit or suffer from it. The act of agreement has no special bearing on 'worth'.
positiveinfluences ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At this point I guess it depends on how you define worth. Therein is the philosophy part of all this
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:42:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I'm much more socialist than capitalist. I just believe that you must make your own way as much as possible in this world because you are your own best ally.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:17 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nope. the ingredients for success are basically luck, class privilege, and help from other people. the "self-made" person doesn't exist.
hezwat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"the reason why is that the new guy was only willing to work for Y, and if offered less than Y wouldn't have started: we wanted him. Meanwhile you were willing to work for X. You have had no jump in your performance that indicates a substantial raise. Do you complain every time your telecom company offers new customers a better deal than the 2-year contract you were locked into? If x wasn't enough for you, you should have mentioned it then. Not due to us hiring someone else."
.. would be the company's answer. Which is why the ONLY way to get a meaningful jump in salary is to simply switch jobs. Tell the other companies what you'll work for (in this case "Y", since it's the market salary) and whichever accepts you first, you just go work for. That's how you get 30% jumps in salary instead of 5% increases. Due to various reasons, nobody will just bump your salary up 30% from one day to the next. the right thing is to start somewhere else.
by the way - that guy they just hired, who is making Y: do you think he was making Y at his last job? No way!
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fortunately this was in the past. The issue was dropped, nothing was happen, and another boss basically explained that it is what it is. I eventually left that job for bigger and better things.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried that but it didn't matter. They basically said it is what it is and that I shouldn't know this information to begin with. This was a few years ago, and while I've been through a few jobs I'm pretty happy with where I'm at right now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not how it works. What someone else makes has no bearing on what someone else is worth. He would need to show his boss that a) he brings more value than he's asking for and b) that he's willing to walk if he doesn't get a salary bump.
If he cannot do both of those things, the salary bump is not likely.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to start looking for a new job before you do all that. This way you have leverage.
mai_tais_and_yahtzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree to a point. Going to a current employer and saying "I have XYZ offer for $XX from another company, can you match it or beat it?" will result in several possibilities.
The current employer says "we can't match/beat it. Go ahead and take it." Now you have to leave your job, which you might have loved except for the salary, or else admit that you didn't really want the other job, and stay at your current salary and look like a schlemiel. (45% possibility)
The current company says "ok we'll match/beat it, here's $XX amount more per paycheck." Then Current Company starts looking for your replacement because you've just shown that you're looking to jump ship and aren't loyal (but of course companies don't feel they have to be loyal back, yeah I'm a little bitter). (45% possibility)
Current company matches/beats the other offer and everything goes on exactly as before otherwise. (10% possibility)
b00ks ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:14:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you might be qualified enough to find a new job that will pay you more.
Punkrulz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:55:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was years ago and I've finally made progress on that front. :-)
b00ks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice.. Congrats
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Not quite where I wanted to be in life but at least for once it's moving in the right direction.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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b00ks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have time to hang out on reddit, you have time to update your coverletter/resume. It literally takes minutes to send those off to people.
Look, I get that some people have situations going on, but complaining because someone makes more than you isn't going to do any good. There may be many different reasons for this. You could have been working there for years and you got hired on at x dollars an hour, which at the time made sense. It's not the new guys fault that he makes more, he just either negotiated better or the pay package was better.
You could also be a shitty employee. I've met more of those than I care to admit. They always like to blame their misfortune on someone else, when in reality they should be taking a look at their attitude. Your skill set, certifications, etc don't mean shit if you are a pain in the ass to work with.
jaesin ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:15:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's kind of illegal.
http://www.npr.org/2014/04/13/301989789/pay-secrecy-policies-at-work-often-illegal-and-misunderstood
Eric_the_Barbarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to the public sector. You won't get paid as much, but at least it will be a matter of public record.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That job they had me contracted out to local govt. Loved the job, hated the pay. Basically public pay without any pension or benefits. Then I went privste sector with more pay, but eventually got laid off.
I went back to public for a different Township and absolutely hated it. Couldn't afford to work there and was basically told this is it for you, we won't give raises. Now I'm private and absolutely loving it. I'm a contractor, but as long as that gets renewed I'm good!
faykin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skip the talk to you boss thing.
Just look for a new job at a better pay rate. This one is best on your resume.
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was already done. :-) I had left that job for a better paying job requiring less work. Two jobs after that I found some place that I'm really happy, and while I'm a contractor I hope I can find a way to get my foot in the door permanently.
andycandu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're in the USA its actually SUPER illegal for your boss to tell you not to discuss your pay with coworkers. If he even implies it or fosters a culture of silence he's breaking the law big-time. He needs to get his shit together and take this seriously.
http://www.npr.org/2014/04/13/301989789/pay-secrecy-policies-at-work-often-illegal-and-misunderstood
http://www.govdocs.com/can-employees-discuss-pay-salaries/
this is the big one:
For example, employers:
Can legally bar employees from talking about their salaries to people outside the company, the website Ask A Manager advises. That's because the NLRA only protects employee discussions within the company. May be able to prohibit employees from discussing salary during times when they're supposed to be working. However, as the Texas Workforce Commission explains, employers should be careful about enforcing such a rule -- especially if they only limit conversations about salary, but allow the discussion of other topics during the workday. That may appear to be an NLRA violation.
-from http://blogs.findlaw.com/free_enterprise/2013/12/legal-to-prohibit-employees-from-discussing-salary.html
www.shrm.org/templatestools/hrqa/pages/prohibitdiscussingsalaries.aspx
straight from the NLRB: https://www.nlrb.gov/rights-we-protect/employee-rights
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had known that in the past. This was back in 2007, and I don't think that direct manager works for the company anymore. I also doubt there was anything that could be done without recording the conversation. It was a raw deal. I worked there for another year. A friend came in offering me a job with the company he works at. That job already told me if they lose the contract I lose them, so I left.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's how the market goes. You want more money, he wants more money. You should find a better job or convince your boss he needs you.
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eventually left that job. When they played their cards on how important I was to them, I didn't want to stick it out and keep making them money. A friend stopped by and offered me a better job with his company back then so I took it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:02:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Were it so easy.
1541drive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How did this conversation end?
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With nothing changing at all, neither better nor worse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You probably don't fully understand the situation, because pay discrimination is illegal. Report it or figure out how he is earning more than you.
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We believe it was a mixture of negotiating better when he started than when I did (I was there two years at this point), and he might have had some college. No degree, but he had gone.
This led me to go to college and right now feeling one of my biggest financial mistakes ever.
420Bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Policies that prevent employees from discussing their wages are illegal. IJS
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there was anything written. They were pissed because it was discussed, but I don't think they could've enforced anything. I live in NJ so I'm sure if they wanted to they could've found some other subtle reason to fire me and there's nothing I can do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check out glassdoor.com to find a relative value in your field and area.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will take a look, thanks!
Blastoff_to_uranus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you, man. That's actually very difficult for people to muster up the courage to do. If you wouldn't have spoken up, I'd bet you'd be really disappointed in yourself. Fuck that prick boss of yours. I hope they eat shit doing something tomorrow.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! :-)
geeky_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you approached it wrong.
Instead of bringing up your knowledge of the other guy's pay, you should have just asked for your own raise.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe this is how I started it. I still went about it wrong and it became a discussion of "wtf, this guy makes more and shouldn't" but it was too late.
I left that job a year later voluntarily.
Saratj1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree everyone knowing what everyone makes is great in theory, terrible in practice. If your not happy with your rate do something, if you are happy with your compensation then great. I've found out what co-workers have made several times, and even when I made more it didn't really give me much satisfaction, but when I made less it bugged me to no end. I would make a plan to ask for a raise in the future and work for the next couple months to make sure I was in a good position to negotiate, then ask the boss. This worked fairly well, I always got something for my efforts not always what I wanted but I didn't leave empty handed. So I guess I gained a little by knowing a coworker made more than me because it lit a little fire under me to improve my own situation, but I'm not sure it was worth it. Also pro tip of your serious about negotiating salary then be prepared to quit, I feel if you feel strongly enough that you need a raise then you should be prepared to work elsewhere if you don't get it. It's really the only bargaining chip you have.
iamjacksdesign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember that the labor bureau frowns on this and it is technically illegal to stop employees from discussing their details with each other. It's especially illegal if that's in their employment contract you signed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience I may go somewhere else and try to negotiate better to what you think you should be making. They won't pay you more simply because you know you're making the least. Now you know how much they think you're worth compared to other employees.
aeramor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little rule of life: if someone is paying you, they make more off of you (or they wouldn't pay you).
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true!
Ginventory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you need to take a different perspective on this. The other person probably negotiated themselves a better deal. I understand that it seems like you are getting the raw deal, but perhaps you just didn't get everything the company may have offered you if you'd pushed harder. Part of every deal is how you sell yourself.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is very true and something I had struggled with. It was a lot easier to negotiate a deal when you already have a job which is what happened with the current job. When you're unemployed they won't pay you much because they know something is better than nothing, which is what happened at the last job.
mai_tais_and_yahtzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means he negotiated his salary better than you did when he was hired. Many folks don't try to negotiate at all, not sure if you did or not.
My company runs into problems with H1B visa workers - the government requires any company that hires an H1B to post a notice on their cube for 10 days after they start that state that they're a visa worker and they are being paid at least the prevailing range, and we have to list a salary range. That causes butthurt feelings amongst other employees, which causes some companies not to post the notice, then they get fined by the government, etc. It's a cluster for sure.
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It never fails. Back then I was much younger and didn't know much about negotiating. What doesn't help is that it was a friend who gave me the job so I trusted that it was fair. He wasn't the one to hire the other guy though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got an email about my coworkers salary by mistake and found out he was making almost twice as much while I had two years on him, better evals, and more certs.
I immediately applied for better jobs and once I had a few interviews, then I went to my boss to talk about my salary.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happened after you spoke to your boss?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I told him it was unfair and he said that my coworker went to a more prestigious school.
He offered to match my salary the week after, but I had accepted an offer by then.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least he managed to try to match the salary so that's a plus. I love how someone spends more money at a school for the same piece of paper as you, so they're expected to make more. Bummer!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I was new at my job and I couldn't understand why the guy got mad at me. I was paid 2000 dollars more for the same job he did but with a difference I was full time and contract which means I wasn't taxed.. He was angry even though he's been work 5 years dispite him being an ass hole I see how he felt.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my case we were both full time employees. I wasn't an asshole about anything and kept my head down and did my work. My customers liked me and my company tried to mess with that. It was all about negotiation when he started.
swordsx48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you stay? How much more was he making than you?
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ultimately I didn't. It wasn't significantly more, about 5 grand. Eventually I left on my own accord as a friend came by and offered me a job elsewhere.
swordsx48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5 grand is a hell of a lot if you had more certs, experience, AND training!
MaddenMan73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:55 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain? You determine how others treat you, not the other way around.
Punkrulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:54 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It may be a determination but how I control that escapes me. I'm in a situation that escapes me right now. This situation the employers were very unhappy with me since I knew the salary information, and even more unhappy with me that I decided to discuss that.
If memory serves me correct, they may have swapped me and the other guys customers because we both discussed it, and these new customers were inconvenient for both. It was only a month long project, but they ruined business with my customer because of it.
MaddenMan73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:25 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They need to take the corn cobs out of their asses and get real. This isn't Nazi Germany.
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:18 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, of course it's your fucking business. You and another human being had discussion and you learned that the company is underpaying you. Your boss is a dick.
Punkrulz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:57:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. There was no employee loyalty. I made them tons of money and the customer wanted to keep me (but contract me out, not hire me directly lol), and my work basically said if they lose the contract they're getting rid of me. This was years ago and they're struggling now while I'm thriving.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to your boss and ask for a raise and be sure you can show u deserve it. And say this line, "whatever you are going to offer me, double it"
AngryFace4 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its in your contract, read it and stop being a mindless sheep of the system. If you don't like the contract, renegotiate it. If you take the job you have nothing to complain about. Capitalism.
giveitago ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 02:42:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a state institution where salaries are public. Someone published all the salaries. It was a terrible couple of days.
ameis314 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 03:01:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why if they were already public?
ClintonCanCount ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 03:14:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ours (University) are in the newspaper once a year, every year, in a big table.
It's an interesting day. Top administration and sports are waaaay overpaid.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:30:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Most "popular" sports (well...football & basketball) at big universities bring in boatloads of cash. It only becomes a problem if the university doesn't have the funds to support the academic departments and diverts cash hopelessly towards sports instead. If spending a couple million on coaches generates tens of millions more revenue for academic use, I'm cool with that. The more popular the team, the more money is made on licensing, and that's where the big money lies. Upfront sales from sporting events (tickets, food, parking, etc...) is only a small fraction of it.
ClintonCanCount ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:56:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nope!
Only 7 universities in the US have sports programs in the black, counting sports merchandise. the vast majority suck money, land and time. Some terrifyingly so.
Nolano ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:19:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'll be damned. Our football coach is one of the highest paid public employees in the country, I always assumed it was a huge money sink, but apparently we have the most profitable college sports in the country. Til
_Bones ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:12:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe I'm reading that wrong, but doesn't that say the top ten, at least, are in the black? How does the subsidies column factor in?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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ClintonCanCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because subsidies are, but should not, be counted as revenue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:00 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ClintonCanCount ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:56:33 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My concern is with their financial relationship relative to the university budget as a whole, for which the subsidy column is the important one; excess revenue doesn't make it back into the general fund very often.
Accounting in different ways, analyses have come up with numbers such as "10" or "22" financially profitable NCAA teams; still the vast minority.
ClintonCanCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:01 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The subsidy column is based on their financial relationship to the university; e.g. how much money they take from education.
Further, they should not be able to claim the subsidy as revenue when attempting to justify their subsistence.
The sports money, predominantly, only flows out of the general fund and not in; this means that, relative to the university, all but 7 are in the red.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:36:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ClintonCanCount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:34:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think that women's sports cost more than a drop in the bucket compared to a Coach+Assistant Coach salary, you did not read the breakdowns in detail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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ClintonCanCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! One of the most interesting things about universities, as opposed to some other entities, is how money moves between departments. The tuition needs to be distributed to appropriately pay the teachers.
While they are paying "list" price for the student's education, that often doesn't meet the costs, and another student could often fill the same seat for more revenue.
Though at the (many) schools where athletics takes a cut of every student's tuition, this means that they are paying themselves money in a weird roundabout way.
BilllyMayes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't some schools have boosters that really prop up the program? Especially in the South (SEC especially)?
ClintonCanCount ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:02:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boosters?
Forty-Three ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boosters are people or organizations that donate money to a sports program, along with other things like organize fundraisers or other things to help out the local teams.
For example one of the bigger ones is Paul Bryant Jr, son of Bear Bryant of the University of Alabama. Paul Jr has given 10s of millions of dollars of his own money along with raising over $100M for the school's sports programs.
ClintonCanCount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The universities I decry dip into the general fund, or more directly tuition, to make ridiculous ends meet.
BilllyMayes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also Alumni groups.
I know at Arkansas the Waltons and Broyles have poured a lot of money into the athletics program.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:33:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
University of Oklahoma student here and... sigh
baumpop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP stoops.
GrapeSuccess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It was the same 16 years ago too. I'm sure tuition has gone up to cover his salary.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 03:52:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sports contribute to the product students are paying for. Campus landscaping doesn't make money for the school either but no one thinks that shouldn't be paid for.
There's a reason people go to a university instead of devry.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, MIT's football team is top notch!
Forty-Three ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that's a joke but MIT actually just went undefeated this season in DIII
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't like d1 Athletics feel free to go to a school without them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh thanks for the clarification. I only want to watch sports and don't want an education, so I guess universities like Ohio State, Georgia Tech or Notre Dame provide low tier education and top tier sports for someone like me! After all, with enrollment of 60k+, no one would go to a university like Ohio State for the academics...football is life!
Enough sarcasm (since you didn't understand my previous comment). If you choose a university solely for watching sports, sorry, but you're a fucking moron. The whole point of college is an education. The experience is an aspect of it, but education should be your number one priority, otherwise you're wasting money. TV and the internet exists for watching your favorite teams.
ClintonCanCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people who care about sports should fund sports by watching them. Don't steal from every students tuition (or taxes/muni bonds) to pad the wallets of a few rich men and sustain a insolvent business.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:53 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should every department of a university be required to maintain a profit? should the art department? The theater department? Should all these only subsist on the tuition of those who take the courses?
How about museums and libraries often maintained by universities? Should a Library show they have enough usage by all the students in order to stay open?
How about dorms-- often subsidized by the university at large; should residence fees be raised so they can cover the cost of the dorm completely?
Athletics provides an opportunity for students who might not have otherwise been able to to attend a university. It provides an intangible benefit to some of the students, just like a statue on campus would. If you disagree with how some of the money flows (to coaches and whatnot), that's fine. But to attack the concept of collegiate athletics just because you do not get a tangible benefit from it is selfish and absurd. I never took a theater class nor did I attend a play, but I don't complain that part of my tuition paid for the building of the theater.
ClintonCanCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:51 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Athletics is fundamentally different from Academics. It has no place here, historically, practically or rationally.
The argument from scholarship funds is inherently flawed because the money that now goes to athletics could easily subsidize students more likely to succeed, or simply lower tuition, and thus one of the major barriers to higher learning, for all.
UniAdept ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sports is revenue generating at my institution. Administration i might give you, but equivalent executives (size wise) in companies make more.
ClintonCanCount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:00:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Mine too, barely, but we are in the overwhelming minority.
The best explanation I have heard is, the main job of a university president is to talk rich people into giving the university ludicrous amounts of money. If he can't talk a board of rich people into giving him ludicrous amounts of money, he is not as good.
Our prez here at purdue cheated by appointing the board before they chose him, but he is an awful human who hates us all, hates free speech, and wants to fire the faculty.
notanangel_25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rutgers?
ClintonCanCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.
cyrilspaceman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because most people don't realize it's public and never bothered to look it up.
chassity003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but I'm assuming the salaries are updated all at once. So when they were updated, everyone had a bad couple of weeks.
giveitago ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and a pie is delicious but are you gonna make one?
ThePletch ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:33:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a horrible example. Of course I am. I made one yesterday.
ameis314 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:24:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what you're talking about
giveitago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's available to be gotten, not a click away. While people might be curious it does takes a bit of effort which means it's effectively not available, given people's propensity to be lazy.
futurehofer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:41:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was the head of the bomb squad (one of only 3 in the state with one being solely for the airport) for about a dozen years. Annual earnings were published every year with some of the top valuesbeing put in the newspaper. Several times he was the top paid person in the department after all his overtime was included. The chief was furious every time.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:36:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I'm really not bothered at all if the guy in charge of the FUCKING BOMB SQUAD makes a lot of money. Not bothered one bit.
EngineerBill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:43:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you'd hate to work at a public university in California. The Sacramento Bee newspaper has an online, searchable database of all state employee salaries: ->
I've a spreadsheet I set up at some point showing all the IT folks on our campus. I used to be among the lowest paid in my classification, but now I'm among the highest! (well, to be fair, that's because so many other folks have left, not because there's been any raises, but at least I have increased relative ranking, which is nice... :-)
dopplegranger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:03:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the employer's fault. They acted unfairly, and ya'll were rightfully angry.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:31:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
/u/dopplegranger
How were they at fault? And how did they act unfairly? Are you implying that everyone in that office deserved to make exactly the same amount, and that should be over 100k?
You have no idea if the employer acted unfairly. Just bc people get upset that other people are making more than them doesn't mean that person deserves to be making more. Some of the shittiest employees think they deserve to make far more than they should.
I had a kid that had dropped out of college, started at our company knowing literally nothing, I trained him for 4 months, and despite only working an average of 31 hours a week (including lunch) in what was supposed to be a full-time job, and still having to be guided by our more senior employees to do anything complicated, he walked into my office one day and told me he was going to quit if he couldn't make 95k a year, bc someone had told him that that's what the salary rate should be for front-end developers. Despite the fact that he had spent his first 3 months barely able to contribute, didn't follow coding guidelines, had learned everything he knew from us, and could barely be considered a junior developer, he thought he was a fucking rock star. He walked out on me that day. edit: which is good, bc I was looking for a way to fire him without paying that fucker unemployment, and he solved that problem for me, which is the only real problem he ever solved for me.
Just bc someone is angry that they don't make more and other people make more than them doesn't mean they deserve to.
edit 2: quoted in case he deletes it
CharredStrings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:03:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A fucking college drop out demanding near six-figures working barely full time while getting the opportunity to write something on his likely pathetic resume? You should have been paying that kid $0 and have him kissing your feet for the internship opportunity.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:08:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me about it. He was getting a better education from us than he was in school. He was working on real code in use every day and working with senior developers who were basically tutoring him on Java, C#, Angular, Html, CSS, Javascript/JQuery, and Wordpress. Maybe he should have been paying us. Some people are just assholes.
jayseesee85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:25 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I'd LOVE a chance to learn something new with caring folks to teach me everything. I'd feel like I owed that company EVERYTHING, not like everything was deserved to me. Glad y'all no longer have him around.
RUN-DLC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfairly? That's just the market and timing. Your labor is a product that you sell. Supply and demand are the biggest factors in what you can get for it.
klevenisms204 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:52:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My city posts the salary of everyone each year... It includes overtime.
It is amazing how many construction workers who make $24/hr make 70k/yr from overtime
meowmeowsss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I work for a casino that does the samething. Some people range at 200,000$, doesn't say a name , just example District manager gets X amount, Shift Boss gets this amount, super visor this much.
iamjinxz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do that for the ABC ( hard alcohol distribution for the state) store per County here, and how long they have been working there etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess
ABC, Australia?
Amorine ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the states this is slowly changing, particularly with younger generations just entering the work force. People should be able to talk openly about their salaries. Some companies actually make salaries visible to all employees for the sake of trust, transparency, and motivation.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:39:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just come out and ask my friends in the same field how much they're getting offered for salaries. It helps everyone to stay informed about what an appropriate salary is and most people are willing to talk about it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I know what most of my close friends make and they know what I make. It's not a big deal at all.
1541drive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can tell friends, how about strangers? :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
63k+ bonus. I'm 22.
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I had a work study job in college a few years ago and a professor asked me how much the work study wage was. I told him without a thought because who cares, but afterwards my boss told me he was surprised I would just openly talk about that. He was a laid back guy in general, but I guess that "don't talk about what you make" mentality is still strong in many older people.
agent_adrienne ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:56:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed! People think it's rude & tacky to talk about salary... how else are you supposed to know who's getting underpaid? I also don't mind someone asking how much I paid for things (house, car, purse, etc), or I'll blatantly tell someone how much my vacation cost... I think money should be talked about openly.
eyemadeanaccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree to an extent. My dad taught me not to because, "Let's say you got a smoking deal on something, later you decide to sell it and get something new. The value of it is there and you can make some money and its a fair price you want, but someone who wants to buy it knows about the low price you paid and wants to give you less than that, because it's now used, even though it's worth more and others would pay more.
GoodOlSpence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered this myself.
"We're both middle class and probably make the same amount within 5-10 thousand a year.
But let's not talk about it."
RomanticPanic ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:46:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I posted in /r/askreddit about this because i was curious if i was doing awful and have fucked my life up for my age bracket
People now think i work for the IRS
candyslick ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:02:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have no problem talking about my salary if someone asked, but recently I've had some negative reactions to it. I try to avoid it, not because society says so, but because of how people might react to the exact figure.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to agree with you here. If we are friends I will normally have no problem talking to you about it, but I don't need people judging me on how much money I do or do not make. It seems unnecessary.
Rossoccer44 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:59:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my last job it became a huge deal because when myself and other new employees came in they paid us better than the older ones. Soon as that got out they were pissed that we talked. But honestly, management sucked and very much wanted no one to know what people were making, so they could save money and underpay people.
Rhodes_TR ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:50:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly certain that you're allowed to, by law, discuss wages with your co-workers, at least in NY.
rottenseed ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:55:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's a legality thing as much as just being taboo.
tyderian ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:58:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason why there are laws on the books about it if that some employers will discourage you from doing it.
theAgingEnt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:00:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Discouraging employees from discussing their salary is in fact a violation of law.
tyderian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:08:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But doesn't stop employers from doing it, was my point.
theAgingEnt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Joining the conversation, not refuting your comment.
rottenseed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so there's laws protecting people discussing their wages?
tyderian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Examples
http://www.govdocs.com/can-employees-discuss-pay-salaries/
phobiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is federal law. Employers are not allowed to actively discourage discussion of wages, let alone punish it.
2dP_rdg ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:50:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait til you own a company and enjoy the burden of trying to keep everyone happy when they know everyone else's salary. Reality check: Bob the developer with 15 years experience doesn't like it when Bill with 10 years makes more, and he likes it even less when you tell him "Well, it's because Bill is better than you."
People are not equal. People in the same role with the same experience are not equal. And there are countless reasons why someone may be paid very differently - such as the company needs them more than you, even if you are awesome and they are not.
ElysianBlight ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:05:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my company, we are not allowed to talk about compensation. But some of the very freshly hired people did not realize that and started sharing information freely.
Thus we learned that these new people, completely unknown to our company (and one of them only an intern), are being hired in at a higher rate than the rest of us make. I mean, those of us who have been here 5-6 years and already proved our knowledge/commitment, and have been though 4-5 raise cycles.. are CURRENTLY making up to 5k less than all the new hires. The only people making more, are those who have been around 10 years.
But we can't complain, because we aren't supposed to know. That is bullshit. I'd rather be told someone makes more because they are better than me.. this just seems arbitrarily cruel.
Edit: And we are all in the same role, same responsibilities, etc.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:10:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you live in the United States this is absolutely NOT legal.
ElysianBlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a way to get them in trouble for pressuring us not to tell?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but if you talk about it and are fired you can definitely sue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like there could be an explanation though. If either the labor pool has shrunk or the number of companies looking for people in that field has increased, that would explain why it's happening.
The solution for you, then, would be to leave the company. The reason they don't put you on an equal standing as the new people is the assumption that they don't have to compete against other companies for your labor.
If you can go out and find a company to offer you what you consider a fair salary and are willing to change jobs, then you have proven their assumption wrong and they have to deal with it.
ElysianBlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense in general.. I'm not sure about our case, but there probably is some reaso I don't understand. We are preschool teachers though... there seem to be plenty available..
Sadly, we are all getting paid more than many other people in the field. But it still doesn't seem fair.
I started out as an intern for 10 an hour, was hired fulltime 3 years ago at 24k salary.. currently making almost 26. The intern who just joined us this summer is making 27. Two other teachers who were just hired last year, with no schooling in child development (which I have) were hired in at 30k.
The turnover in our field is generally pretty high, most people leave within the first 2 years (I have been there 5 total). you'd think they would want to give incentives to stay. I would stay forever if they gave me 30k.
Generoh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are only worth as much as you can negotiate
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a hard time sympathizing with one business owner who has to actually figure out how to make employees happy instead of multiple employees who might benefit.
Willuz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you assume employees would benefit from public pay rates? There are many situations where you can negotiate higher pay but they can't afford to give it to everyone. If they have to make your raise public then they may not be able to give it to you without pissing off others in the same job. I much prefer it to be kept private since I work hard to make myself worth more to my employer.
ThatPirateGuy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:11:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it is obvious.
There are two sides in a negotiation. One side having more information will give them an advantage.
And you don't know if you are more valuable to your employer-er if you don't know what people are making do you?
Willuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does a different person's income have to do with how valuable you are to your employer? The two are completely unrelated. If everyone's pay was public then the only way to keep everyone happy would be to pay them the exact same. Then knowing wouldn't help you at all because your pay is stuck at the same rate as everyone else regardless of how valuable you really might be.
If you have any doubts about how valuable you are to your employer then you need to look around the workplace and find something that isn't being done and do it right to make yourself more valuable. If you can't figure out how to do that then, yes, you are being payed less and there's a good reason for it.
ThatPirateGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:50 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If everyone's pay was public then the only way to keep everyone happy would be to pay them the exact same."
Just not true. Plenty of places manage to do this without having t everyones pay be the exact same.
But if you want to continue to fool yourself that you are making more money because your employer has more information than you and your coworkers do then I won't try to stop you.
Willuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:22 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoosh, the point goes right over your head again. Salary negotiation has nothing to do with whether you are making more than your coworkers. Do a couple of searches on salary negotiation and game theory and you will see a multitude of recommendations for obtaining a higher salary. What you will not see is comparisons to what other people are making because you are not negotiating for the other people, you are negotiating for yourself.
http://blogs.cornell.edu/info2040/2014/09/28/using-game-theory-for-salary-negotiation/ http://stevehanov.ca/blog/index.php?id=67
You stated that the employer knowing what they pay other people is an advantage for them. However, they have no idea what countless other companies are willing to pay you and that is a far more useful detail in your negotiations. Instead of wishing that the other side were required to give up their advantage you should focus on building your own advantages. I'm not "fooling myself" because I negotiate and get exactly what I feel that I'm worth.
pooleboy87 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. If you want to know what you're potentially worth, talk to headhunters, go online and compare what open positions are looking at as a starting salary, look at your yearly pay raises compared to national averages, compared to company performance, and compared to review performances.
Knowing what Steve from accounting makes doesn't necessarily mean you're getting cheated or you're making what you could/should. So unless you've got intimate details of what somebody means to a company, you're not really gaining much with that info.
2dP_rdg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:35:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then support your local Walmart where everyone can earn the same awesome wage.
mynameisjacky ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agreed with you when you talked about the 15 years vs 10 years, but if the person that's worked there for 15 years can't accept that someone younger or someone with less experience is better and smarter and thus gets paid more, then that person is dumb and a whole lot of other things.
bjjoctobadger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:16:42 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Federal employee here. We can look up each others pay some nobody cares. We all know and other employees will ask if they are thinking about applying for a spot in your area. Friends get all weird when I tell somebody that asks about my job and I give the pay WG-8 step 2. 22.79/hr. It's just money.
sp106 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:52:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This just creates a lot of awkward conversations if it's a place that has kept this secret policy for a while.
The answer that a lot of people don't like to hear is that not every employee with the same job title is worth the same amount of money. They would have structured differently if this was not the case.
Making this public takes people who were happy with what they were making, gives them unrealistic expectations and makes them unhappy.
Jokrtothethief ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:56:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't explain to someone why they aren't worth as much as someone else you shouldn't be the boss, or you owe that person a raise.
And if you can't see that some people will be worth more than you then I wouldn't want to employ you. Someone else will do the job.
pooleboy87 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:05:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is some impressive idealism.
Yeah, most people are TOTALLY able to completely empathize and understand why they're worth X% less than their cubical neighbor, and it sure wouldn't invite some irritation or conflict every time they heard that person make a personal call.
And that's just assuming that the reasons behind who's making what are entirely merit based.
ThatPirateGuy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:08:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they aren't merit based it is even more important that the salaries are not secret.
pooleboy87 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:18:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's just not the way it always works, so that's a silly notion to begin with.
What kind of negotiating power does somebody have when they start? How vital are they to the company? Experience? These things aren't necessarliy tied to merit. The 30 year old with offers from 3 or 4 companies can probably drive up the price in negotiations. The 57 year old with oodles of experience but a couple of years away from retirement probably isn't going to have the same interest in a competitive job market.
So no, it's not always as easy as saying "well, So-and-so does 7% more work than you at the same quality, so he's just going to make 7% more than you."
Nardo318 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:26:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this.
WinterOfFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to process payroll for my company and knew exactly how much people made. I knew who had negotiated extra vacation time too. It took some adjusting to learn that I would probably never understand why people made a certain amount. However, I did certainly pile more work on the people I felt were overpaid or instructed them to help those I felt were underpaid. (low skill positions who were either related to executives or attractive and dressed inappropriately skimpy for the office - one of them put a hula grass skirt around the front of her desk because her skirts were too short to sit down in). Fine, make more answering 4 calls a day and opening mail than the highly skilled assembler who is the only person who knows how to make our product but I'm going to do my best to be sure you work for it.
I really wish people were compensated better for being a good employee. Showing up on time and working as a team instead of looking out for your own interests are highly under valued traits in my opinion. Being a jackass hurts other people's productivity and being a team player helps.
I also wish more companies had the balls to write people up when they break rules instead of waiting until the 10th time and then freaking out and not wanting to fire them because you have no proof of how awful they are. Who cares if a good employee gets written up once for leaving early if they never do it again. Write everyone up and when that lazy fuck does it for the 10th time then you have a paper trail.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because finding good help is hard. As a manager if I wrote everyone up who did the smallest thing wrong, no is going to want to work for me. No one should be in fear of their job because they showed up a few minutes late once, made a mistake, etc. In my line of work, if you screw up you will hear about it, but to get a formal write up it is either going to be something big or something you are doing repeatedly while be told not to each time.
WinterOfFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the issue is that a write-up is seen as punishment and feels like a big deal. All it does is document the incident. If you show up late once or a make a mistake, no big deal, you get a write up and you never get another one. Most companies have a policy of 3 write-ups having to be for the same incident. You could even have a policy of a write-up expiring after a year if you don't get another one.
The problem is that you have an employee who does something that they are repeatedly told not to and if you write them up, you are being inconsistent with the other people who have done the same thing (though not repeatedly). Maybe the other people who did this before were white and this employee is a person of color or a woman and now you are worried about discrimination. And at that point you are so sick of it that you really want them gone but just one write-up isn't going to give you grounds to let them go.
The other problem is that you have an employee who was good and reliable but they start to slip, so you let a few things slide but before you even realize it, they are the worst employee there but skated by based on their previous reputation (maybe they are an alcoholic who relapsed or whose personal life blew up). Maybe this person is just really friendly and cool and funny and its harder to be annoyed by their mistakes until you realize how bad it is or they have destroyed morale by getting away with more than other people.
Writing people up when you 'feel' they've done something too much turns it into a subjective judgement which MAKES it a bigger deal and makes it a real punishment that is shameful.
By writing everyone up, you catch things sooner and if the employee is a good one but is having a hard time, you create a plan for them to follow to help them out and if they are an incredible employee who just can't show up to work until 9am but will stay until 6 then you can adjust his job description or hours to suit that. I often think that employees are done a disservice in cases like this. If they had each incident written up, everyone would realize things were not ok a lot sooner and maybe have been able to salvage this employee's job, reputation and life if they catch it early.
I have witnessed an employee flip out, cuss at a vendor on the phone and then when called into the president's office proceeded scream and cuss at the president (who was very conservative/religious) and yell at them about how they are the most useless piece of shit and how everyone knows it. We heard every word through the closed door. The employee was sent home for the day and the president went to pull the personnel file to see if he could fire him only to find there were no write-ups. This was not the first incident of outbursts by this employee but nobody had written him up and since he actually did his work fairly well he had good performance reviews. There was one incident that almost resulted in a write-up until he threatened to sue the supervisor for sexual harassment and admitted he would lie about it just to get them in trouble. The president did not write him up either or speak of it again either.
I think the only time out of at least 10 jobs where I have seen anybody get written up was when I insisted someone get written up for inappropriate comments to the girls he worked with. For added context he was 20 and would kind of invade personal space with the girls in the back room and touch their clothing or bracelets and discussing things that definitely crossed the line with them. The girls were 16-20. They didn't even think what he was doing was reportable and I just overheard them talking about how creepy he was and started asking questions. We wrote him up and warned him. When he did it again it was grounds for immediate dismissal. I even remember what got him fired and it was talking to a girl (16) about the color of her underwear.
I think it also depends on the environment you work in. At one place employees never ever cleaned/restocked the bathrooms at the movie theater unless you went out there and made them do it. There was a check list and a schedule to sign off that it was done every 15 minutes. That is not only bad for customers but it is a liability if someone slips and falls on a puddle in there and you inevitably had customers complain about being out of paper right when you were in the middle of a rush or right when multiple movies were getting out when you could least afford to spare someone and when it was hardest to actually clean the place or restock. Nobody would write them up for it and nothing ever changed. You would train a new person to care about it and then their co-workers would show them that nothing ever happened if they didn't do it so why should they be the schmuck who works harder than everyone else.
Compare that to an office where everyone is a professional who is responsible for getting their work done. Write-ups are needed more in some environments than in others.
Jokrtothethief ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:16:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not idealism. It works in plenty of places.
klatnyelox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is, most people will make excuses rather than tell someone to their face that the are a lazy piece of shit. I know of SOOOO many people in the same positions as my parents, and as me, who are figuratively pieces of dung next to the way we work, and get paid accordingly. But they will never get told that, because the amount of uproar they can raise can and will get anyone they dislike fired, for PR reasons. Thus, don't tell them the real reason they are worth less.
Apollo821 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this exactly. I have yet to hear a convincing argument as to why it's rude to discuss compensation.
WendellX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's intentionally designed to benefit employers. I really despise this practice as well.
dopplegranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather have people angry because they know, than happy because they don't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because we live in a classist society. It's considered rude to do it blatantly, but people look down on you if you're poor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the entire point.
The only reason it's taboo is because employers don't want workers to cooperate or organize with each other. They want everyone to be in the dark, so they can exploit them as much as possible.
klatnyelox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See the problem is that once you know, there is still almost nothing you can do about it. At this point, when asking for a raise at all is a good way to get fired, asking why Mike gets paid more is a good way to get fired AND get blacklisted for employment. You want to fuck yourself for life, go ahead. I for one, am going to continue to assume I am underpaid, and work my fucking ass off, making myself as useful as I can until they WANT to give me a raise, or I can't afford to live, which comes first.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband works for a luxury company and they make sure no one ever talks about salary. This place sells designer onsies for hundreds of dollars but my husband makes below the poverty line. It's no suprise to me they don't want the employees discussing or complaining about the mutual unfairness of their income.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a solo practitioner, I encourage my employees to discuss salary.
Of course that just means I spend ten minutes talking to myself in an empty room. I'm so lonelyโฆ
EspritFort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can look up and post averages online. I wouldn't want someone to pigeonhole me based on income, but I wouldn't have a problem with posting about it anonymously.
MudTownBrewer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand it discourages assholes from bragging about how much they make. If there's no taboo they can "share" how much more they're making than you.
iburnedparadise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here in the UK amongst the young generation (pre-university) this doesn't seem to be a taboo - I've had teachers outright ask me how much I earn and I don't feel comfortable with the idea that people have eyes on my money if they're not a colleague (and even then, unless we were in the exact same position I wouldn't be comfortable discussing this). My work pays me slightly over the minimum wage so whilst the figure itself might look like an acceptable salary coupled with my age, it really doesn't take into account what the work and just invites comparison. Feels too personal.
josiahpapaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works as a government employee in Japan, trust me - having people point blank come up and ask you how much money you make in a passive-aggressive way is extremely off-putting.
I have strangers come up to me at the gym and go "how much is it we pay you people to come here again?"
It's very uncomfortable. To me, it's not a whole lot of money, but to them it's more than the average salary.
LonelyNutrino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't understand why that would be taboo in the first place
FunkedAllUp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Two people I work with all started at the same time, similar work ethic, and identical salaries. We have sworn to tell the other our salaries to the dime until we are in vastly different areas. So far, all three of us know how fucked we've all been. Honestly, that helps, hahah. Also, with renegotiations it has helped immensely.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The younger generation don't give a fuck.
"So what's the 'salary range', if you don't mind me asking?"
temalyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my old job, they fired you if management heard you talking with another employee about how much they got paid. This makes me think certain employees were making waaaay more than others and they didn't want it getting out.
yeahifuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would close the wage gap real fast.
freddafredian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say that
nathanb065 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maaaaan I felt the same way until recently.
I just got hired onto a job. I have never done this before but the management heard I was great at what the job entails based off references and a couple mutual friends.
I work directly with a person who has been doing the job for 4 years and she's great at it.
We discussed pay the other day...i didn't tell her I made 4 dollars more than her because it would have destroyed her. She's great at the job and deserves to be making more than me as I have zero experience...
I felt and still feel like a scumbag...
anti-indifference ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Starbucks and this isn't a thing in my store. Everyone knows I make $11 an hour.
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it brings about a lot of jealousy issues though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I make it very clear I am only driven by money and perks. I have no love for the company, if they want me to come in and do a good job they must pay me and treat me accordingly, else I will just go somewhere else.
It's nice having options. But then again most people don't have that luxury.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about money in general. Boasting about money, that's a different issue.
Elenson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm my career we're always sharing our wages with others at other companies and they share back. Let's everyone in the industry pressure their employer for competitive rates. No, we are not all unionized either, just a rare kind of professional.
Dabrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can be helpful in those cases, but I still think it's bad taste to talk about it too openly. Some people simply earn a lot more than others despite doing less and easier work and most people don't want to be reminded of that constantly.
philmtl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup I got "letgo" after my boss had other employees ask for a raise because I was making 2$ an hour more than them. Ya... had nothing to do with my 8 years of experience /s
Moved on to better things
NegroNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's actually a firing offense at the consulting firm i work at currently.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:41:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:47:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pissed because you don't deserve to make more than them probably.
-Tesserex- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:49:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly. But you should still be free to do so. In some jurisdictions it's illegal for employers to even discourage, let alone forbid, salary discussion between employees. At a previous job the 5 of us all shared salaries and no one was upset. The boss / owner actually took the lowest salary by far and we all agreed he should pay himself more. Maybe we were all just too friendly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Owners sometimes take less salery for "tax reason". Some stuff can be billed to the company. Take vacations and call it a business meeting, company cars, etc. Saves you from payroll tax.
-Tesserex- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't that kind of company. It was about 10 people. He had a moderately nice car, but a small house. Definitely took home less overall than I did.
icase81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of maybe you'd be pissed.
[deleted] ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 02:01:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't ask me what i make unless you're a close friend of mine, or i'm going to assume you have no life skills and not like you. even if you're a relative my answer is "fuck you, it's none of your business"
that's not the same as asking someone about their career and a "does it pay well?"..that's a normal question/conversation and not being intrusive. asking how much someone makes, a co-worker or not, is....being obtuse.
TheKrakenCometh ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:04:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Considering the question for this whole thread concerns social mores, why exactly is it that you're offended by the question?
The_User92 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:50:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm not the the person you asked but, something I think about this question is that in certain contexts in can be rude. For example if someone is asking just to be nosey so they can go behind your back later and make comments about how much money you make, then it's rude. In other contexts though it's not. Like if you suspect your not being paid enough so you discuss it with a coworker who has the same job, and roughly the same skill set, to make sure your salary is fair.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you either make more or less money than the person asking the question, and either way it can be awkward. Especially if you make a lot more than the person asking.
It's not offensive so much as nothing good can really come of it.
nobuild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i dont know about that, i mean maybe it could be awkward if you guys were hired for the exact same job and at the same time and are the same skill level, but if one of you has more seniority and is getting paid more, then it makes sense. and if one of you works harder and get's paid more, that also makes sense. but if one of you absolutely blows at your job and is getting paid more i'd sure as hell want to know (assuming i'm not that guy) so that i can ask for more money.
My wife was recently changing jobs to get more money, she's was a retail manager for a small company and asked for (what we found out later) was a small salary because she didnt know better. she now left that job due to finding an opening for double the pay and half her staff quit with her.
if it would have been legal (/against store policy?) for her to talk to the other store managers in our neighboring city to find out she was getting shafted money wise she would have never looked for another job in the first place, and they wouldn't be trying to run a whole store with 2 people right now
hmm, yea as i'm re-reading this i realize that i didnt really stay on topic...
Level3Kobold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like dumb reasoning. By that logic, you should never compare anything to anyone else, because someone will always come out ahead.
Someone makes more money than you? Well duh, lots of people do. Are you going to avoid talking to people who are richer than you? Or vice versa - if you find out that someone makes less money than you are you going to stop associating with them?
The only people for whom this is an issue are people who are assholes or who surround themselves with assholes.
Remigus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:40:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you make more than I do, doing the same job at the same company for any reason, that's a problem. If someone suspects they're getting shafted, they're going to try and find out.
Ask_about_my_balls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that you aren't as good a negotiator as I am.
toastfacegrilla ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if someone knows how much money you make they will get upset when you give them gifts cheaper than what they think you should be giving, or try and get you to invest in their poor business schemes
LYossarian13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you're getting downvoted, this is true.
I know tons of people who would ask me for money based off knowing what I make.
LastPageofGatsby ยท 3618 points ยท Posted at 17:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Adjusting' yourself. Guy or girl, just do it. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.
zcab ยท 1090 points ยท Posted at 21:46:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't bother me if you do it. So long as it doesn't bother you if I watch.
LastPageofGatsby ยท 303 points ยท Posted at 21:54:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do what you gotta do.
zcab ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 22:00:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like a panel of judges with no numbers to allocate.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:40:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just one number.
Thobalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only things you can get are points anyways.
geeky_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why we evolved thumbs
bongarong ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:57:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just finish the fucking book already
izdawalrus ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:44:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used this logic a couple weeks ago at my work. I'm a lifeguard and a few teenage guys were talking about skinny dipping. The official rules don't cover apparel so technically it is allowed. The only stigma is that you have to be okay with everyone around seeing you naked.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:22:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hot
Cheeseologist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... Relevant username?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably
LordoftheSynth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make eye contact to establish dominance.
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha
Cheesetoast9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it bothers me if you don't watch. ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Mikester245 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you don't mind if I watch you watching me
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:48 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm OK with that. Just don't make it weird.
Eric_the_Barbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I lend a hand?
TheZachinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
-5m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take a video - it will last longer :D
Delsana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:47:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So long as being tazered doesn't bother you ;)
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:35 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't adjust yourself in front of me if it means you intend to tazer me.
[deleted] ยท 291 points ยท Posted at 19:32:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems just fine for a girl to adjust her bra but if a guy adjusts his dick he's being "obscene".
LastPageofGatsby ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 19:44:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people complain about even girls and their bras.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 22:28:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like 30 and I've been accosted for having visible bra straps... people are not over their weird upbringing yet. They'll watch GB after GB of porn in secret, but a bra strap is where they draw the line.
kdoodlethug ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 22:41:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had people whisper to me stuff like "PSSST HEY JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW YOUR BRA STRAP IS SHOWING" in this really secretive manner. Like, jeez, it's not like it's a secret article of clothing. Everyone knows I have one on. It's just a strap, it's exactly like the strap of a camisole or anything I might wear over a bra.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 22:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ESPECIALLY if it's unintentional. Like I get if it's looking askew and we're about to take a picture that you're like "youre bra strap is hanging out!" nice and loud and proud, i'm appreciative. My mom does this thing with her eyes like someone is behind me with a gun :O :O points at strap shrugs shoulder :O :O
ok mommy sorry you gave me boobs won't happen again.
GrammarBeImportant ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 00:29:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would be pretty weird if she gave you boobs again.
pineapplestrudel ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:33:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Ah, the ol' reddit boob-a-roo!
e/link mishap
RegularGoat ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:47:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my bra, I'm going in!
MisterGoober ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:06:12 on July 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITEMS ACQUIRED:
-/u/HalfSquatch's testicles
-/u/PM_ME_YOUR_CHESTHAMS's glass-stabbed dick
-/u/Betaman156's AK
-/u/RSkiz's STDs
-/u/RegularGoat's bra
RegularGoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:13 on July 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go, you glorious bastard.
MisterGoober ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:15:02 on July 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright then, here's your bra back; sorry if there are remnants of dick blood, gunpowder, diseases, and/or scrotum skin cells
RegularGoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:41 on July 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, on second thoughts, you can keep it...
MisterGoober ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:25:40 on July 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well okay then.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:44:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird enough that I wanna see how this would work.
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:51:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just go right underneath. I like chicks eith sixpacks.
Sarahthelizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Four packs.
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I'm talking about when they have three sets.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bro i'm a DDD, i think two pairs will put me at 6pack enough, don't be sending me two more.
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:33 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, ok... I'll send 5 more pairs. You happy now?
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:38 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This bitch, with the endless supply of tits...
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:57 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have an endless supply of tits, fyi I have 1 less than infinite tits to send to people.
Boatgunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
ladymoonshyne ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:37:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would always scold me for wearing white shirts in her house without a bra like it was a super big deal, like she didn't constantly look at my nipples for the first half of my life when I was a kid haha
shewrites ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:25:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh - my mother used to tell me I should wear bandaids over my nips because they are always "on." They're nips, everybody has some, and no freaking way am I ripping bandaids off my damn nipples everyday.
Sarahthelizard ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:44:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gentlemen...
ladymoonshyne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh yeah fuck that. I do use bandaids if I am going out and I am wearing a tight bodysuit or something like that, but usually my clothes are dark and loose, so I get away with no bra.
shewrites ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I decided not to worry about it one little bit. Being prude is just too nonsensical for me. Mom, on the other hand - yikes!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy so I wouldn't know, but why would you do that? Why not just put the bandaid on the inside of the shirt/bra instead?
purpletomato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the bandaid is for when you're not wearing a bra so your nipples aren't poking out...so putting it on the inside of a bra makes no sense...also shirts move around..so if you put the bandaids on the shirt where your nipples would be, your nipples will just be somewhere else when you sit down or if the shirt wrinkles or whatever
shewrites ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:09 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boobs tend to move - quite a lot, actually.
slayer1am ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:20:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Carrie?
shewrites ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No bucket of pig's blood here.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 01:30:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could see that being a bit weird for your dad and that might be the reason. My mom would occasionally just be chilling without a bra and it was not OK.
ladymoonshyne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my step dad never even wears pants in the house. My mom always said it was different because she couldn't specifically see his dick through his underwear, which you totally could and it was generally way more unpleasant than my nips (though I might be biased)
I still don't wear a bra usually I don't wear white shirts and I don't live at home so she doesn't bitch at me anyomore :) haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Outside of the house too? There is a special place in my heart for women that don't wear bras.
ladymoonshyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah. I have to wear padded bars to work cause I serve food and I don't think most customers want to see my rock hard nips (I spend a lot of time in a cold kitchen). But not at work I don't fuck with that shit, or I wear those trendy little bralettes, which are basically cute adult training bras that prevent dangerous nip slips.
To be fair though, if I had tits like most of my friends I would probably have to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's ridiculous. I'm a little turned on if I see the side of a girl's bra sorority style through her shirt sleeve, but that's because I'm looking at the part that covers her boob and so is boob-like in shape (I assume that's why they intentionally wear those shirts with the huge sleeve holes). The strap doesn't do anything for me. I feel the same way about the top bit of my boxers showing. Not full on gangster sag, just a tiny bit.
"Your boxers are showing". Okay? Some piece of clothing that every dude wears, so it isn't like seeing a girl having a thong on. This is standard. It's attached to a naughty bits a a few inches away and so vaguely has something to do with sexualness in their mind I've gathered. I'm not going to sag on purpose but if you see the top centimeter of my boxers I'm not really going to care.
It is awkward if a couple 11 year old girls start giggling over it though. That's the only time I adjust it in a casual setting like that.
kdoodlethug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. I wish people weren't so vague, I am not observant enough to guess what they want.
InadequateUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool I told a girl in front of her that her tag from her bra was showing and everyone in the general vicinity looked at me like I was weird for pointing it out.
in_cahoootz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, perhaps they're trying to be sensitive to you. They don't know that your perfectly comfortable with the situation, not that it's the same thing but if my fly is down I don't want someone yelling it across the room.
kdoodlethug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair. I can acknowledge that they're trying to be helpful and I appreciate that. It is usually girls who do it though, and usually I am friends with them as well. Most of them have worn tank tops or whatever and had their straps showing before, so it just seems out of place for them to suddenly care about that.
jhutchi2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
God I know people are so annoying. When they come up and are like "PSSST HEY YOUR BALLS ARE SHOWING" jeeze I know, people have balls get used to it.
Edit: I'm making a joke people, your balls shouldn't be showing in public.
FicklePickle13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because one's underwear is the same thing as one's genitalia.
cowboyrepeater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I myself don't really care if my bra is showingโbras are things! Everyone knows this! But some of my friends just don't like how it looks with their outfit and have been like, "dude, why didn't you tell me my strap was showing?" Can't please everyone?
LastPageofGatsby ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:32:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand it. Can't wait for that crap to go away.
Fat_Walda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Visible bra straps used to bother me when I was a teenager. My mom wisely told me, "better that they see your bra than your boobs." That advice has stuck with me.
i_are_pant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's .5 deduction right there...
HowlingBukowski ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:32:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also if a girl adjusts anything but her bra, if my panties are riding up uncomfortably I'm going to try and discreetly remove them from my cavernous ass.
Horrible memory from middle school: I had stupid ridiculous wedgie, put my back to the lockers and nonchalantly pulled my underwear (through my jeans my hand wasn't down my pants or anything) to the slide a little so it would remove itself from my ass crack. I thought I was hiding it excellently until this gap toothed redneck boy I barely knew yells loudly "EWWWW SHE DUG HER BUTT!!!" I was fucking horrified.
Observante ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 00:57:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls adjusting their bras seem to make me need to adjust my penis. Must be a social thing, like yawning.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I see you adjust your penis, I like to eat a banana.
Physgun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that goes in an infinite cycle of having to adjust again and you eating more bananas.
ClockworkPepsi ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:23:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this so much. Not so much nowadays, but when I was younger (like, I dunno, 7-12 years?), I don't know why, but I always felt uncomfortable if my dick wasn't facing upward. If it was straight down, to the side, or in an even remotely horizontal direction, I felt physically uncomfortable.
I know some people must have noticed me "re-adjusting," and I knew they were a little disgusted or confused. Well, it was either committing this taboo sin or walking around like an awkward idiot for an hour.
actual_factual_bear ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 22:44:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait, what?
ZzombieCake ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:56:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touching your belly.
thebeef24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing OP wasn't aware they can hang that way. I'm a "down and to the left" kinda guy myself.
tbonemcmotherfuck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:15:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Limp dick pretending to be a boner.
Bohzee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
penises are flexible, you know.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis
Harry101UK ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
actual_factual_bear just has a permanent hard-on.
Don't judge.
cornflakes23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OH HEY HARRY! whats going on! this is really crazy i just randomly found you! HA! well since were both here, in this dark decolate place, i thought id let you know i needed some help on this 15 Minute SFM animation i'm working on, nearly done too! but iv'e been trying to reach you for a while! ha! i was wondering if you wanted to make some custom music for the climax of the Movie! ive been trying to add you on steam but your a hard guy to add with your fame and all! but please let me know if your interested! you can add me as the same name on steam as i do on reddit: cornflakes23! haha for other people not understanding what it is i wrote, please go make some biscuits! you've all had a hard day and need to relieve some stress! LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST! hopefully that made you forget what i wrote previously.
attrox_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:27:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 36 and I still feel this way...
V-noir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had the exact same thing. I even thought at one moment, how will i ever be able to drive a car if I need to re-adjust so often.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That still bothers me if I'm chubbin. It slowly makes its way until it's normal to the ground and then I can't feel it as much so I slowly go soft which causes it to brush against my boxers as it goes down which stimulates me again in some sort of perpetual boner machine. It doesn't happen much any more because I'm no longer a horny teenager but every once in a while some girl is flirting and the cycle is initiated again.
dorkface95 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:54:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I adjust my boobs in public, I feel like people start staring in hopes of a nip slip or a better angle.
adamd22 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:23:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'd do it out of curiosity more than anything. I'd probably do the same thing for a guy adjusting. It's probably because it's such a taboo act.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:41:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course.
PonkyBreaksYourPC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:49:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we wait
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry
tbonemcmotherfuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry we can't help it
AssCrackBanditHunter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's usually a jiggle, and guys love that jiggle. I'm sorry
helloiamsilver ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:33:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People arent ok when I have to literally adjust my boobs though. I have large boobs and if I go braless, they often sink below their designated location and the only way to get comfy again is to reach down my top and pull them back up. Thats not considered acceptable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I can see people whining about that unfortunately.
lastbullet6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing. Fun fact; not wearing a bra is actually better for you.
Lighterlow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
inb4 you just need /r/abrathatfits
skim-milk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your boobs must not be all that big, I'm only a D cup and I haven't been able to comfortably go braless since junior high.
helloiamsilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a 44D/42DD. You just have to find clothes that allow for bralessness. The dresses I don't wear bras with are snug along the chest so it gives a teeny bit of support (I still usually have to adjust as seen above) and have thick enough fabric that my nips won't show through. I still wear a bra with the vast majority of my clothes.
skim-milk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:51 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. The only dress I've ever been functionally able to go braless in was a renaissance festival style dress I borrowed from a friend a few years ago when we went to renfest (and I spent the entire day terrified my boobs were going to pop out lol). Maybe I will check to see if any of the clothes I have will allow free-boobin... I guess overall I just really prefer the shape bras give my boobs, nice round cleavage and such. I figure, what's the point of having awesome big boobs if you just let em flop around and look sad, you know?
headsup_lucky_penny ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:04:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boobs and dicks are very different. And it's far more acceptable for a guy to fix an itch in his pants than for a girl to. But I still think if you're uncomfortable you should be able to take care of it with out being scrutinized.
Crabbyappletonn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wedgies in dresses are really the pits.
headsup_lucky_penny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I know! Especially if you're wearing Lacy underwear. It seems like it happens twice as fast and is 1000 times more uncomfortable.
green_meklar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:06:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Supposedly it's even illegal in Italy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
R u srs
green_meklar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1580163/Italian-high-court-bans-public-crotch-rubbing.html
Shcent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it all depends if you put your hand IN your pants or not while adjusting
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:42:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda hard to adjust without doing that.
pokedoll ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:32:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I checked boobs =/= genitals
If a girl started messing with her cooch in public I'm pretty sure people would be as disgusted
BlayreWatchesYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a girl adjusts her panties it's either automatically sexual or prude.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because people associate genitals as "germ factory's" and chests aren't, so unless you're going to wash your hands afterwards that's probably why they get upset.
counters14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It didn't bug me until about 10 seconds ago when I thought about it and realized what a huge double standard there is.
A woman is uncomfortable and pulls her chesticles out of her bra to set them better? No problem! A dude takes a long stride and adjusts the undergarments inconspicuously and someone happens to glance over and notice? Registered sex offender.
ustrinanongrata ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:29:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think guys tend to get the worse of it but speaking from experience, people are not that cool on a girl adjusting the chesticles. You get a lot of disapproving looks and occassionally a lecture a few minutes to hours later from grandma
counters14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:03 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I thought about it some more and realized its a non-issue. I grab my junk and physically relocate it often enough in public and I've never really gotten so much as a crooked glance. If I had my hands actually inside my pants it may be a different story, but its not as bad as my comment would have liked to make it out to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
counters14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:08 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The stride and readjust is a combined manoeuvre. One doesn't happen without the other. The stride is to unstick and position the junk correctly, and the readjust just pulls the material out so it isn't all bunched up from the strategic side switch.
Ball physics is a very complex science.
TrueTurtleKing ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:25:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't make eye contact while you're doing it
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:51:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JUST DO IT
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:22:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
kiocloud ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:20:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMORROW
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T LET DREAMS BE DREAMS
Bennyboy1337 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:20:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guy adjusts self, proceeds to shake your hand
LastPageofGatsby ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 23:59:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's outside his pants, I don't care.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:30:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
His hand is warm from the crotch heat. You've touched his crotch by proxy.
LastPageofGatsby ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:31:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with it. It's not like his dick-heat can spread STDs. If that were true I'd probably never leave my house again.
0Lezz0 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you are literally hand-shaking his balls. too much?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure you mean "Figuratively" or at a push "Essentially".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
smokinJoeCalculus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...jesus, dude..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could grab my boobs at work. Under bra, the whole nine. It feels nice after a few hours of work and they're all sweaty and need a breather. I do that when I'm alone. I have to consciously make attempts not to do it at work. :(
Unfortunately, it means a lot to dudes who are looking on.
daBroviest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne ceaselessly into the past.
LastPageofGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My man.
jeffhardydoesajump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Needs to be done!
PokemasterTT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if I have both boobs and a penis?
LastPageofGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adjust with both hands.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LastPageofGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I should clarify. Keep it outside of clothes, please.
Rogork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me the actual adjusting part isn't as big (harhar) as what follows: whoever in front of you will naturally follow your hand movement to your crotch, and sometimes stay there a while, this almost always makes me uncomfortable especially around people I don't know that well.
ThellraAK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a teen home, adjust yourself, here is some hand sanitizer. Rest your hand? An hour of punitive housework for you!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me salivate!
LastPageofGatsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you can so enjoy the small things in life.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:51:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has nothing to do with anything, but did you know that Ellen Pao became a mod of a popular SRS subreddit today?
I guess what they were saying about her was right!
The_Lonesome_Drifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I totally did this in front of a friend/coworker recently. I did it without knowing they were there and they looked totally disgusted. Goodbye workplace sexual tension.
MrDoctorCPU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ftfy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that all of the time when I played tee ball and was really confused when I was told not to.
Psudopod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just yesterday my nips were sooo itchy. I really wanted to give them a scratch through my bra, but I was right in public, with my mom. My mom who considers having a bra-strap showing a faux-pas. I wish there wasn't the possibility that a stranger or your mother would pitch a fit when you just itched your nips.
NotUrMomsMom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as they keep their hands on the outside of the clothing it's cool
Diauxreia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This needs more upvotes. Pants are uncomfortable. Bras are (probably, I assume) uncomfortable. Sometimes, you just need to make a quick shift and life gets 100% better.
PonkyBreaksYourPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he's bi guys
sicengel663 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is something that should be understood. If a person is uncomfortable then why the hell not just adjust themselves. Everyone deserves to be comfortable. The only time it could get weird is if someone tried to "help" (lol slight lame joke at the end)
Afarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife gets PISSSSSSSED when I adjust myself in public, do whatcha gotta do.
IDontHaveAnyCrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta make sure all the furniture's in the right room.
Shivadxb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
youve got to be pretty selfish to be upset with a guy unsticking nut sack from the inside of his leg on a hot day
LostHobo143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, it's not disturbing at all to adjust yourself.
Indiburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as your hands stay outside your pants some people
antonrough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I itch my dick when I want, I could give a shit. If you want to watch me that badly go right ahead buddy
bayoubevo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agree. But when you are a co-worker who does it constantly-there is an issue that needs to be addressed otherwise you run the risk of being referred to as either Itchy or Scratchy behind your back.
cool_e_coli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't let your dreams be dreams
sai_sai33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why it's wrong though. ๐
clay_helmet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also on that matter having an itch in your groin area that needs to be tended to but you don't want to look like some creep rubbing their junk.
mortuusanima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pulling underwear out of your butt crack is the girl equivalent to adjusting your balls.
Hubley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously if it's gotta be done it's gotta be done
TheOtherMatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are we allowed to help others?
candyslick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's socially unacceptable in public? I've been doing it wrong all these years.
nevik86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it's over the clothes. No hands down the pants readjusting please.
NotATheologian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you just gotta pinch and roll, man.
p3ngwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tell me about it.
i was "adjusting" myself for about 20 minutes in front of the Victoria's Secret Shop the other day.
You wouldn't believe how much of a prude the security guard was !
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's hang out
theOTHERdimension ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like this with my friends, if I'm close with them I'll be like "I have a front wedgie, can you cover me?" And they'll stand in front of me while I fix it. Very helpful when in public
thatguyblah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people are pretty accepting of caitlin jenner's adjustment
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you insist takes off pants and begins moving things around.
Kokana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have really large breasts. I cannot find a properly fitting bra to save my life and feel the need to adjust frequently. It can be embarrassing when I am noticeably caught doing so. I always try to play it off. But I do it way to much because I'm never comfortable for very long. I know some people see me and assume I am fluffing myself up but really its about feeling comfortable. Its because suck a constant frequent norm for me its hard for me not to be super self conscience.
Zoltarr777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes sort the pleat in my jeans out because it looks like I'm erect, but then I get the feeling it looks like I'm flicking a boner into my waistband. Catch 22 situation.
sallypants27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm adjusting I look whoever I'm talking to straight in the eyes. Not my fault if they gaze drifts down.
stelliokonto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this. Women need to adjust their boobs because they're bouncy things that can get out of line. Men need to adjust their balls/dick either due to uncomfortable leg sticking or just a weird spot they're sitting in.
BH_Andrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
instructions unclear, arrested for public masturbation.
kilkil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a little surreal, because you expect to keep using the same pronouns as when you first met the person, but then you have to forcefully change it in your head.
Olioliooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. Fuck the haters.
ZachMartin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but you have to pretend like you're disgusted when a hot girl in yoga pants adjusts her thong right in front of you and you're with your significant other. Yes, this happens a lot. I live in manhattan, yoga pants in manhattan are like jeans in the midwest.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:36:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the reasons why I hated dating girls as a teenager. It was the same shit every time. She'd look at me like 'Ewwwww he shuffled a bit.' Dating dudes was so much easier.
ORAMYOU ยท 3125 points ยท Posted at 17:11:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Riding on shopping carts in the parking lot. It's like a scooter with a basket on it.
DrunknAzn ยท 1281 points ยท Posted at 17:20:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're a dying race. I rarely see anyone do this coming out of a store
DamnitDiego ยท 1174 points ยท Posted at 23:23:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think people would judge me so I wouldn't do it, until one day I watched a 60+ year-old feller do it with no fucks given. I felt so inspired that I do it too now with no fucks given
roth403b ยท 757 points ยท Posted at 02:30:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My favorite walmart story: I'm in my 20s. I ride the cart down the aisles, especially when empty (edit: the aisles, not my cart). I'm heading down the frozen aisle looking for pizza or something, ridding along at high speed to get to the other side.
At the end of the aisle comes a cart barreling around the corner. An older 60-70 year old man is ridding his cart at a good speed, and we both ride past the other cart having a stare down as we cross in opposite directions. After that moment, as the carts keep on wheeling down, we both give a couple more kicks to gain speed. I get to the pizza section, he disappears around the corner. Never to meet on the racing track again.
FigMcLargeHuge ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:35:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure it wasn't future you?
kickingpplisfun ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:43:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By staring himself down, he has doomed us all. Never make direct contact with future/past you.
supertoaster_42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:18:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kill your double
Skexer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Killer opening for a story there... /r/writingprompts
Samp98518 ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 03:37:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A perfect description of the unspoken bond between all men.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:41:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Thunder_Nipples ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking love this song
190F1B44 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:44:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A beautiful moment.
enbentz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:17:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite story I've read on reddit of all time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite Walmart story: Wife and I shopping, I head down one aisle to grab some deodorant while she heads down the next to grab some conditioner or something. I hear this huge crash. I come around to look and the cart is on its side, contents spilled all over and the wife is sprawled out on the floor next to it.
She was riding and tipped it over backwards.
Sadly, not a single person was around to witness it.
baby_lawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that you have a favorite Walmart story.
pingo5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a walmart employee. I ride tbe stocking carts around tbe back all the time. I can't help it.
skinnedrevenant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's going the distance...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:06 on August 7, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's going for speed..
RikaMX ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I needed this, I will do it next time.
Cessoe ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:12:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I do it in the store if the aisle is empty I'll just give a little push and coast for a bit. It makes grocery shopping more entertaining
beniceorbevice ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:39:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the only way to get around Wal-Mart and their half mile long stores
WhiteMeth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have severe ADHD and I do this every time. I am very skilled at it..
musictomyomelette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell us your ways
HiimCaysE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:57:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still do it on occasion, too. Fuck social expectations!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:58:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
photojosh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:12:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with my kids in it. My wife AND the store employees frown at me.
Naknaknaknaknaknak ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:49:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd do it right along you and I AM a store employee.
frozenGrizzly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I loved doing that as a kid, but stopped when I got too old for it to be cool, and was worried people would judge me.
Lately I've been trying to push my comfort zone a lot for personal growth, and after putting my groceries in my car I felt a strong urge to ride the cart back to the cart storage thing. Instantly the little voice in my head was telling me not to do it, that you're too old for this shit and people will stare.
I told that little fucker idgaf and rode that bitch all the way across the parking lot. So worth it.
Sirfungus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We do it at work for fun
soberbrewer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must have seen my dad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/hownottogiveafuck
Redditarama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! They gave a fuck about sentence structure! That is so funny.
susupseudonym ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let people stare at our much more efficient mode of transportation.
minumoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I might have seen the same guy. I was also inspired.
tothebeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 55. I still do it (but only when I think no one is watching).
s8rtRazrShowerShavin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think you may have been in a scene of Bad Grandpa?
Blacksin01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm convinced. I'm doing this from now on
veyizmir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Costco parking lot in San Francisco was made for this. Two ramps in a row. You should definitely visit.
ElGringoMojado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 60 and I do this. I'll probably die this way at the age of 110.
DarkSideofOZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 30's and do it every chance I get.
pmyourcoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it in the store... It's about the only thing I find enjoyable when shopping. If only I had those shoes with the wheels on them :)
TheZachinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My people!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 60 year old mother does it every time I'm ever leaving a grocery store with her. It makes me see the young version of her come out and bring much joy in my life.
Watson726 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I push carts at a grocery store, and there is this one older guy who does thks everytime he's done. It's hilarious, you guys are a dying breed unfortunatly though ๐ช
RemoveScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
test. did my other comment go through? fuck reddit mobile.
JustVern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nearly 50 year old female and I do this on the regular and squeal WHEEEE!
I'm not crazy, I'm retired, and I don't give a gosh darn!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! hahaha!
Edit: I also throw a leg up behind me. Wot?!?
RemoveScrotum ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:27:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
awsome. im an able bodied man and I often use those motorized carts intended for the elderly/disabled/fat people. I often get yelled at it though. especially if I wear a helmet and cape, or if I hop off and make a mad dash to my car on foot.
I've had a few bad crashes in my days. one time I crashed into an isle of tomato sauce jars. I swear, the whole thing happened in slow motion. some old fuck cut me off. me "get the fuck out of the waaaaayyyy". I swerved right and headed straight into the Francisco Rinaldi at 1.5 mph.
The asshole manager told me to get out of the store. I was there to pick up my daughter who works there in the photo lab. So I had to wait outside in my car with my engine running. My car is a piece of shit and spues thick black exhaust. I just sat there and laughed as my smoke went into the store and everyone started chocking and colapsing.
haha
fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I do it in suit/tie after work like wheeee bitch I got that BOGO$WAG
EDUT: I'm being diwnvoted by SRS bc I almost murdered their leader at meet up Fri night .
ih-unh-unh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:25:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't tell me you saw it at a Costco in southern California.
...because I'm not 60 yet and do it all the time. Especially with a full basket--I get more speed
KoveltSkiis ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:57:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Childhood
HiimCaysE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:56:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even today's kids. They all have their faces buried in phones.
TomBradysmom ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:07:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not sure if the weird looks come from the fact that I am riding the cart out the store or that I am 6'5''...
just_dots ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck them, I'm 36 with a head full of gray hair. I pick up terminal velocity coming out of the store, steer by dragging my foot on the ground and hanging off the side (and I'm good at it, like I can fucking slalom) and whenever there's room I slide into parallel park next to the truck.
I swear that crack-heads begging on the side of the street don't get the dirty looks that mothers with kids give me.
That's usually when I lean over the handle bar and do Matt Hoffman's "Condor" trick while popping the front wheels off the ground...
Fuck 'em all, nobody's gonna harsh my mellow!
Amosqu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mostly do it inside the store, at least if something hits you it doesn't kill you.
Who knows, maybe people are starting to care more about what other people think of them.
millarke ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use my shoes to brake the wheels in order to make turns and slow to a stop. Like I'm basically semi-pro.
Funkslinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit! I do this too. People need to get on our level so we can all bring back the Professional Circuit
macaulaymcculkin1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hmm, interesting technique. ill have to try this out next time.
i usually just hop off.
Burning_Kobun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shoe brake turning master race.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Aryan shoe brakers.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just let the cart go until it stops naturally, since I haven't found a way to keep the weight in the front yet and that would probably flip the cart over completely.
Bigcat710 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:34:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a cart pusher at a large retail chain, after we close and the parking lot is empty it's a free for all. Ride until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...
Skuloiet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:37:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who pushes carts at Walmart, I see people riding carts on a daily basis. Makes me jealous that I'm not allowed to do it while I work.
_SnesGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even see kids doing it anymore. Every once in a while I think "Fuck it, I'm a grown ass man now. If I want to ride the shopping cart to my Toyota I will"
Roarlord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/roarlord reporting for duty! I will keep the tradition alive and pass it on to my son!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i do this til my death goddamnit
OrnateFreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come shopping with me and we'll race to the car!
johnty123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in case you guys haven't seen this: a documentary shot mostly around north vancouver about hobo cart racers.
vicarofyanks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have hope, we're out there
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
56 and I still ride a shopping cart like boss.
Abepoppin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a shopping cart rider.
locaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of us!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
take comfort in the fact that my s/o does this in every. single. parking. lot.
I'm usually wearing heels, so I hang back and let him coast all the groceries to the car and start loading them in while I casually - and carefully - stroll through the lot. By the time I get to the car he's already bagged most of the shit so I can just get in and go home.
everyone wins.
HerrKRAKEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Join me, brother.
DrunknAzn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You have my sword."
daltonian5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still do this in the store, honestly.
Long as I have a free aisle. Or a little room at all.
issius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an adult now and I still do it.
fonz2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a cart attendant at target. We have a machines that pushed a row of 20 carts, I sit on the front one. Fuck walking.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, I'm usually too heavy for the weight of the food in my cart to keep it from flipping back onto me. I will however, take every opportunity to ride things with wheels like road cases (which are a regular occurance in my line of work)
swiftimundo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I do it in the store!
MrFinchley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 40s. I do this every time I shop. My kids love it.
LeDrVelociraptor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at ikea, and I regularly see even older folks doing it. It makes me smile from time to time.
Burning_Kobun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a grocery store and I ride shopping carts/u-boats/the other smaller not shopping carts as much as possible. some of the smaller carts have u-boat style wheels (fixed in the middle and castors on the ends) which result in some crazy physics when riding. when I'm a customer on my way out, I run full speed into the parking lot on my way, jump on, and see how far I can go.
Truckusmode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's especially excellent when your Cart is full enough that it's weighted down. Then you can really get some speed and distance.
Otherwise you're popping wheelies or falling on your ass.
IsaidBAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be the guy that put all the carts away at huge stores. Best rides of my life.
prozacgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I park in the back of the lot for 2 reasons, my damn TA's car door are huge, and the parking lot at wal-mart is on a down hill slope... ROLL FOR DAYSS
Ever learn how to brake steer rubbing your feet on the wheels? I'm ready to take on Pikes Peak!
TheDaveWSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well as a rule you can only really do it when the items in the cart weigh enough to counter you, so maybe that's a limiting factor as well.
HairBrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a grown man who has kids nearly as tall as me and the cart is heavy. If the slope is there and the coast is clear, game on. I'm all Tony Hawk with that bitch. A legend of the parking lot in the making here.
sonfold_hero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost 40 and I still do it. I can't help it.
Sometimes these days I put my kids in the basket if we only got a few things and I push them as fast as I can run. It's as safe as anything else we do (bumper cars, bumper boats, riding bikes), and they fucking love it and laugh like crazy people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw a lady do it last week. My mom does it every trip and she's 57.
YOUR_FACE1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're probably going extinct due to the rise of the much more powerful and equally careless car.
Brosephus_Rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still do it because I refuse to die and become a "grown up"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's true, so few people do this nowadays. I push carts at a busy grocery store and I only see a couple people do this per shift. Interesting enough I've noticed that most of the people that do are either less than 20 years old or more than 50.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In college this was my preferred method of departing the grocery store.
Now I live in a place where there's an enormous chance that somebody I work with will recognize me and call me out for being unprofessional in public.
nataleeyuhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a 30 year old dude doing it outside a Walmart. Looked like he was having the time of his life
Antarcaticaschwea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend loses her shit every time I do it. Which is every time we go to the store.
benchmillions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
28yo, did it two days ago. Stay strong cart rider.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this with my three kids hanging onto the basket. I get dirty looks as I'm racing down the parking lot with 3 kids screaming, "Faster, dad! Faster!".
It is fun ...
Dragynwing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 34 and I do this all the time. I am also known to skip on occasion. I'm a happy little fucker and it shows.
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im 30 and i do this every time....no fucks given
octopoddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Extra points for "KING OF THE WORLD!"
kilkil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch, we're going to be on Mars in a few generations. Don't give that "we're hopelessly doomed" crap.
Still though, you're right. We need stuff like this.
DrunknAzn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean the race of KartRiderz
kilkil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Yes. You are eventually going to face your extinction. It's all that climate change messing with the environment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you don't go to winco foods in the middle of the night.
BloodBride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too busy scooting around inside the store on my cart.
It's faster.
DrunknAzn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love reddit.
RepostResearch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I witnessed an older couple (probably in their 70's) racing their carts down the parking lot at Walmart, giggling like little kids the whole way. Really made me happy for the rest of the night.
JustAsLost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:48 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it in store
strider_sifurowuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:47 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it until I hit a bump and pop a cart wheely, almost crushing myself under the cart. Then I serious the fuck up and walk like an adult, blushing and hoping nobody saw.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:30:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DrunknAzn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. I go to the grocery store right after work so I don't have to make 2 trips. People get to see me in my security uniform zoom past them.
PC509 ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 21:44:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 40. I'll race you anytime. When I'm in the store, I also like to drift the corners (screeeeeeecchhhh!).
TheMattAttack ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:47:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's REALLY nice when you find a cart with bald tires at Walmart. I'll fucking race through there, whip the back end and slide on my shoes (some Laurens slip ons with no tread left). I don't give a fuck what people think (except some women).
Helpmetoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:52:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
British trolleys have casters on all four corners so we can drift whenever we like!
TheMattAttack ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:58:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of jealous!
However, going sideways when riding down the aisles would be slightly frightening.
Helpmetoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It only adds to the challenge and enjoyment of the illustrious supermarket rally.
TheMattAttack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But real rally cars only turn in front ;D
therealmrfish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:08:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the foot dragging corners you have to ace...
Then slip off and let it gliiiide right into the corral.
Glance around, gaze upon an old lady, gain her approval.
Wink at the dejected cart kid and strut your stuff back to your car.
CivilNassar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:16:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a cart drifting master. What embarrasses me is that I sometimes do sound effects and don't realize for a while. By then, i don't know how long I've been making noises for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to imagine initial d music in my head.
mattsprofile ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's always great when you try to drift the cart but then it tips over.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 32 and I gleefully push my 18 month old around fast when the store isn't busy. It's the best.
dr_3k ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 20:57:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24 i still ride at the front of the cart and make my fiance push sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:58:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
overcatastrophe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
30 year old checking in. Everything is fine, carry on.
hellrazor862 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:18:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just had the rare opportunity to do this for maybe 800 feet yesterday (I guess like 250 meters if I were pretty much anywhere else) and it was joyous!
I'm in my late thirties... totally got some intense, motion-blurred glares from other adult parkers.
xj4me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw em. I'm 30 and do this. Not our fault everyone is so jaded
hellrazor862 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's worth it every time. Well, at least every time the front wheels stay on or near the ground haha!
norml329 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:06:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm not still doing this by 40 I'll be completely ashamed of myself.
Though you really need to make sure that front is weighed down, I still seem to have not learned this.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 38. My Costco parking lot is all down hill. Ballin' out with $200 bucks worth of shit I don't need in the cart and a giant thing of toilet paper that I came for.
FunMop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fudge, Packer?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't do this anymore, i tip the trolley over :(
Master_of_Fail ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey. I feel your pain. We can be fat brothers together.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not fat, just tall (adding weight). Sorry :(
Stoic_stone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
still going strong at 22
7Finger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 48 and I still do this. I don't ever plan to stop.
beardedheathen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My two kids jump on the front and we'll ride to the car. I'm a dad. I've got a free pass to do what ever silly thing I want.
ninjette847 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:50:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad accidently flipped the cart over wit my brother and I on it doing this. We were fine but my mom freaked the fucked out.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd think that having two kids on the front would help to balance out the adult on the back. Oh well.
ninjette847 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:37:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My brother and I were almost irish twins so it didn't. Plus, two toddlers wouldn't balance out an adult man unless the toddlers were obese. Do you think toddlers weigh 80+ pounds?
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keyword there is help. I'd imagine you also had groceries. Also, you didn't mention their ages at all. Did I say something offensive?
Schwimp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yes! I'm never gonna stop doing this :D
Master_Tallness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't give a crap, I will ride that cart wherever I damn please. Watch me.
Amosqu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so fun when you turn corners and the cart tilts so much.
princessJJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am 34 and I still do it, whenever one of my kids is with me I have them hop up and I run while holding on and they make "vroom"noises.
PCLOAD_LETTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Half the fun of riding the cart is the looks you get from people. It's not nearly as fun if no one sees you do it.
fastdbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For more fun do this with bike cleats. Lots of sparks!
abplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
40 years old here. I do this on the regular.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy who works at a grocery store, don't do this if the cart is empty, those things will capsize and you could get hurt. And don't do it if you're fat, the carts aren't meant to be used that way and they can and will get damaged. Also, unless you're younger than 4, don't ride in the cart where food goes, that really damages the carts and I will make fun of/yell at you for it.
Tundergaarth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at albertsons and the coolest motherfucker I've ever encountered there rode his cart around the whole store the whole time like that.... with a case of beer... every time. And he was like 50
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the parking lot? I do this in the store sometimes.
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're terribly balanced, though, unless you've got a kid or two in the basket to keep it steerable.
ApteryxAustralis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The grocery stores where I live are too crowded to ride the carts like scooters, but I love myself a good power slide around a corner.
Zedyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Memories of the CKY movies...
h0w1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
25 year old male here. All of my grocery shopping is wondrously concluded by a race to my car on a cart. Instead of worrying about how my actions are perceived by others in a negative sense, I only hope it inspires to revel in those little things that make them happy.
PanamaMoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use it to run faster. I couldn't tell you the science but I lean forward and run, then start to hop/skip as I pick up speed
JTay99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly got arrested for doing this outside Toys 'R' Us lol. The one place where you should be allowed to be childish
EatingSteak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just gonna warn you - if there's nothing in the cart, once you hit around the 200lb mark, those things can start to cantilever on you.
Around 250, you become FailArmy fodder.
auandi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just.. be careful about it.
Virus64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 30, I still do this in the store.
lsp2005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw someone do this at costco last week. It really impressed my kids.
roofied_elephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Turning 30 in a year and damn right I ride that shopping cart like I'm 12.
inferno1170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to have a lot of fun with a cart, grab the front and push it backwards, then kick off a bit at an angle, this will cause the cart to spin around really fast and start going forwards while you are flying backwards. 10/10 I recommend having a bit of weight in the cart before trying this.
joe-clark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who wouldnt do this?
RaqMountainMama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 18 year old kid just did this with $200 worth of our groceries in the cart. & tipped it. Tipped it. I had a beer. I'm ok now.
dlman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college my power move was to insert my upper body through the back panel of a shopping cart and then go wicked fast
Steelfox13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything I have my boys in the cart the second we get out the door, it's go time. Unamused stares be damned.
888mphour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And those Ikea carts? They're the best!
Karrick1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 8 I did this and an old lady laughed at me and started doing it too. She must have been at least 75.
Rezzone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this socially taboo? Oh jeez people must think I'm insane.
Naknaknaknaknaknak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a store. I do it. No complaints.
dcb720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do it with heelys on... it's like flying
TheKoreanHumanBeing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it in store. YOLO.
hondahardtail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait so you mean this is socially unacceptable ? Oopsie daisy ...
jman111983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
32 years old, still do this. Faster than walking to my car/the cart corral.
tenest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a forty-something and I still do it, almost every time
korravai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ALWAYS do this at Costco because they have huge heavy carts that never tip and smooth wide long aisles where you don't have to worry about people popping out of nowhere. Also necessary for the long journey across their massive parking lot to the car.
youre_a_poozer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time with my kids in the cart! They love it & we usually get a few smiles from older people.
princessluceval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh! I do that all the time, and I'm a 51 year old woman!
ClintonCanCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Walmart where I used to live was alone on top of a hill, would get crazy winds.
You could sail the cart to your car.
nrealistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This bugs me, because I like the paint on my car quite a bit. If you can do it while respecting others' property, go ahead!
beer_is_tasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, that's socially unacceptable? Why?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always, the more groceries the less likely to tip the cart
realfuzzhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially unacceptable? I proudly ride the cart back to my my car
Altair1371 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially unacceptable?
Shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just as fun in the store too
print-is-dead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 37 and I still do this. I look ridiculous and do not care
redditclark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this all the time because a.) it's fun and b.) it embarrasses the shit out of my and kids. I can't do it anymore because I sustained some pretty massive injuries during a seizure about a year ago. I can't take the risk of injuring one of my shoulders or back.
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you push yourself up on your hands while it's gliding, and dangle your feet just above the wheels, you can selectively push your L or R foot down on a wheel to alter the direction of the cart. Extra effective if you are heading on a slight downslope.
gunnbr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially unacceptable? I do it all the time!!
COMPLIMENT-4-U ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually hang on the handlebars and drag me feet along the floor. One time I used a wrong type of cart and it tipped over. Broke a front tooth and gave me nosebleed
Pmmesomethin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why just the parking lot? I do this in the store all of the time. It makes grocery shopping way more interesting.
strawberryglass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was riding down an aisle with a cart in IKEA. A worker was walking by and I got embarassed so I stopped, but he chuckled and said, "Is that all you got? Go faster."
ArchieMoses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was killing time one day in the warehouse at Ikea, wandering around aimlessly like a lost little child.
I bumped into one of those flatop shopping carts and noticed how well it tracked. Hopped on and gave it a test push... fantastic.
Went for a zip across the warehouse, exhilarating. I suck at skateboarding but this was awesome. Another guy saw me do it, hopped on one too. Pretty soon there were half a dozen of us zipping around the warehouse straight up Tony Hawk.
Nobody stopped us. Kept it up until she was done. Best Ikea trip ever. Of all time.
qazwsx1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems most places have carts with no bar between the back wheels to discourage exactly this.
ReelBIgFisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I turned into an aisle right behind a guy who thought it was empty and he did this. It made me smile knowing he probably didn't know I was there. That sentence came out a lot creepier than I thought it would.
crocodilesarescary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you link 2-3 carts together you can use the front cart to maneuver
renotime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially acceptable? I'm 29 years old and I do this.
Pareeeee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a grown woman and I still do this.
icenino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tokyo Thrift
AH17708 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it all the time fuck the world. I did it at Costco once in the long flat bed cart and I spun out of control and hit a 360 in the lot...a few people laughed ..I hopped back on and continued to kick push all the way to car
junglefoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to do this again. The only thing stopping me is the likelyhood of me riding into someone's granny or bowling over small children.
probo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to do this inside the stores as well, it's probably only a matter of time before I would injure a kid though.
beansriceguacamole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend does it. I will sort of do it for a few seconds but I'm clumsy and afraid of either ramming a car or somehow managing to flip my cart and eat shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The flatbeds at IKEA are the most amazing ride there is. Combine those with a smooth polished concrete floor and a large warehouse area and you should fully expect to see grown men getting their carts up to 30 mph.
TheIncredibleD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always do this. My girlfriend makes fun of me for it but fuck that I do what I want.
KevansMcGurgen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:21 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. I used to do it when I worked in a shop. Customers used to threaten to complain about me being unprofessional, but by the time I had been there a month I was the hardest working employee and I hated my job. My boss knew both of those things so I knew I wouldn't get in trouble for doing something to brighten my day a little bit. Go ahead and complain you fuck, people like you are the reason I'm whizzing about on a trolley in the first place.
BrittanyGhoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:53 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally did this yesterday. and in the store...
String_Ring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:20 on July 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always said that we couldn't do that because the cart would tip over but I guess she just wanted to crush my dreams.
PM_ME_RED_LIPS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It bends the wheels and junk. I was told that's why some shopping carts are always annoyingly trying to turn.
assrocket ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:28:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be the fucker that scratched my car.
ORAMYOU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Never go near other cars. Btw, that scratch was already there when I got here.
cboski ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:16:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since when has that been socially unacceptable?
The_Rodigan_Scorcher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:37:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm genuinely asking: is this socially unacceptable? Hardly like slapping your granny?
JonasBrosSuck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:10:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
didn't know that is socially unacceptable in the first place
Cheeseologist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't do it simply because it's dangerous.
ManBearScientist ยท 695 points ยท Posted at 22:13:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot more unacceptable than most of what I've seen in this thread, but euthanasia. I'd even go so far as to say that the way we treat terminally ill patients and especially the elderly can be downright inhumane.
I've seen a relative go from a completely functional human being to nursing home resident with late-stage Alzheimer's. I can think of few things more cruel than that. With no hesitation, I'd rather die than slowly lose what makes me a person. And the worst thing is, they know they are losing something each and every day.
And then we have patients that are 100% mentally intact, but would rather die with dignity than live through invasive surgery after invasive surgery while living the last years of their life in a hospital bed. And we make them suffer for it. Passive euthanasia is incredibly cruel in its own way. Turning off feeding tubes to watch someone slowly starve to death is downright barbaric.
Everyone should have the right to die with dignity, by their choice and without pain.
UniversalFarrago ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 23:29:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school a classmate of ours was diagnosed with an incredibly rare and violent form of leukemia. In literally 2 weeks, he went from being a healthy, albeit short and shrimpy 11 year old, to being emaciated and too weak to even talk. The third and last week, the doctors induced him into a coma so he could die painlessly. Being awake was too excruciating for him, and for his mother to watch. For a week, he lied there, dead but his heart still beating, until finally the cancer squashed him out of existence. His mother had to look at a living corpse, day in, day out, for a week.
Had euthanasia been illegal, he'd have been given a shot, and spent his final moments in his mother's arms, saying goodbye, reminiscing about happier times, or perhaps listening to his favorite song, or watching a favorite film. Who knows.
But instead he was knocked out and left to die.
It was the best they could do, the kindest fate for him, but it was still cruel. Fuck those who are against euthanasia. I pray they never have to see a dying child.
Prometheus720 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:56:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I'm told that shots are not the way to go.
Supposedly, the best thing is nitrogen asphyxiation. Your body actually can't measure how much oxygen you have, only the CO2 buildup in your blood. That's what triggers your breathing reflex. So if you replace the oxygen in the air with nitrogen (which is cheap and legal), you can just keep breathing until you start to lose consciousness, at which point either you'll flip out and change your mind or just relax and fall asleep.
Darkstrategy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:42:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're correct, but it only works with inert gases. Helium, pure oxygen I believe has the same effect, nitrogen as you said.
I believe it's that the molecules still bind with our blood just like a normal mix of air molecules would, but they don't provide you with what you need to actually sustain yourself. I think with things like Carbon Monoxide these molecules even take priority over Oxygen. So it won't be like suffocating where there's a distinct lack of air or feelings like that, you'll just have lower brain functioning like you're in a haze until you eventually pass out and die.
Take it with a grain of salt, I'm not a biochemist or anything like that so I might be wrong on a specific point here or there, but the jist is accurate.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why don't they use this for death penalty inmates, then?
Prometheus720 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:07:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because people are idiots. They also don't use real doctors for death penalty inmates
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:22:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real doctors would probably have an ethical problem with it.
Prometheus720 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's stupid. Being a doctor should not require you to operate by a given set of ethics, because in reality, none of them actually do. They're all individuals, and I doubt that all of them find the horrors of botched lethal injections preferable to gentler asphyxiation.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:40:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ethical problem is with killing a person (in particular against their will), not with the method.
and
wtf?
Optionions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath?
Prometheus720 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:23:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what I'm referring to. It's nonsense. Doctors are just like everyone else.
Optionions ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:32:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you think that doctors having to swear not to harm people is "nonsense"?
Personally I'd rather doctors not be allowed to make decisions like that based on personal opinion. They have a job to do that requires them to be neutral, so following that code of ethics is absolutely essential.
Prometheus720 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:57 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That oath doesn't actually do anything. It's air. The doctors choose not to hurt people.
People do what they want regardless of law, oath, or edict. I could write an essay on this, but my main point is that there is no such thing as the Hippocratic Oath out there. There are only the thousands of Hippocratic Oaths that exist in the heads of the doctors who uttered certain words, and they're all different oaths, and they're all just words.
Define harm. Is giving someone antibiotics when they don't need them considered harm? Found a grey area already. Doctors are divided over it. How about something which is asked for? Is it harmful to fill a request for, say, assisted suicide? Doctors make that call in their own heads. The oath only stops doctors from progressing ethically.
Define "do." Is it against the oath to LET harm be done? You can't answer. Thousands of doctors around the world are the ones who can answer, and they all answer differently. Expecting them to give you the same copy/paste answer so that you feel safe is insane. They're people, not products.
ChewyChavezIII ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:42:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a nurse, a lot of elderly people and overly concerned family will continue to insist that "everything be done" for a patient with a terminal diagnosis. Hospice is a wonderful thing that is about improving quality of life in a patient's final days, weeks, months and at times years. The problem is that many patients shun hospice services early on in a terminal diagnosis and only go on the service in their final days or hours. Studies show that early adopters of hospice live longer and with a better quality of life than those that continue to pursue curative treatment. I certainly understand your sentiment in the matter, what happened to your classmate was horrible.
mai_tais_and_yahtzee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:41:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I have a living will that instructs my husband and family that I don't wish to be kept alive on life support, if there's no hope. He's aware of all of my wishes (and so are the next of kin after him, should we both be in a car accident or something).
Living wills are easy to fill out and could spare so much pain for loved ones.
UniversalFarrago ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for your condolences. He didn't deserve to die like that. As for hospice care, I've no doubt it's a great thing when necessary, but are you suggesting that it's an alternative to euthanasia, or merely that it's an option that could make many deaths far easier if people were to face the truth about a terminal illness?
ChewyChavezIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:13 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is is an option that could help ease the transition if people are willing to face the truth. My aunts mother was diagnosed with an I operable cancer on her spine. She went on hospice immediately, and ended up surviving for almost 5 years. During that time they had the full support of the hospice nurses and aides who can to help her multiple times a week. Her quality of life was very good, and most days you couldn't tell that she had a terminal condition. She was also an RN. There is an interesting article called "How Doctors Die" that could apply to a lot of health care workers in general. It basically states that when faced with a terminal illness, they are educated enough about the disease process to know when to stop fighting and accept comfort measures.
dtopps ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:29:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you completely on this.
I watched my grandmother suffer with it over the course of a couple of years and it still haunts me.
She asked me on so many occasions to shoot and poison her so she didn't have to keep suffering. She'd always been religious and she would lie in bed crying trying to work out what she'd done wrong for god to be punishing her so much. How do we let humans go through that?
For the last few year or so she had zero quality of life, she was back and forth between her care home and the hospital, she was unable to leave bed unaided, and only had the energy so sit in a chair for a half hour or so. All the music, movies and TV shows she'd loved before were nothing to her any more, there was no pleasure in anything.
What's the fucking point?
dinoseen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:20 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry, what your grandmother went through was unforgivable.
dtopps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:21 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I know she's not the only one and the idea of going through it with someone else is terrifying.
dinoseen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:37 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
<3
TeacherladyKim2007 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:17:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. My husband and I are both grateful we live in Oregon for out Death with Dignity law.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:18:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I've seen a relative go from a completely functional human being to nursing home resident with late-stage Alzheimer's. I can think of few things more cruel than that. With no hesitation, I'd rather die than slowly lose what makes me a person. And the worst thing is, they know they are losing something each and every day."
This, so much this!
I had to watch my beloved grandmother waste away due to Alzheimer's. She would have been so ashamed of some of the things she said/did.
I don't want to have to put my family through the same thing, but chances are that I will, since Alzheimer's is a heritable illness.
I'd rather fulfil my bucket list after being diagnosed with such an illness, and then die with dignity of my own volition.
NothappyJane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I used to go to work with my mum at a nursing home when I was little. Having seen people in various stages of old age it's cruel to keep them alive pumped full of drugs and being force feed, plus the care costs an absolute fortune which is a strain in the families. My grandfather in his last two years had atrophy of his muscles so he couldn't even move really. He didn't recognise anymore or have pleasure in his life. He was a shell, of a person having a miserable existence.
If I start to go mentally or physically I'm going to overdose and hopefully die peacefully in my sleep or take up Euthanasia options if they are in effect at the time. I don't want to be starved or slowly fall to pieces
robargarthan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been thinking about this a lot lately (not depressed or anything like that, just find it interesting) and I pretty much agree with you on this. I think there's a difference between people who are going through depression and want to end it versus people with physical ailments. I guess I feel that those with depression could potentially get out of it while those with a terminal illness can not, but at the same time I haven't been in either position so who am I to play God? Just something I've been thinking about as of late.
Plasmos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WA state has Kevorkian laws in place that if you have a terminal illness you can ask for professional euthanasia and doctors cannot refuse.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:47:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WA and OR, actually. I voted for it in both states - twice in Oregon because of religious groups trying to get voters to "take it back". However, there are strict restrictions in the "death with dignity" laws. For one, your doctors have to agree that you have six months or less left to live, and that those six months will consist of virtually nothing but suffering and pain. The doctors can refuse right up to that point. Also, these aren't Kevorkian laws; the doctors prescribe the patient a pill and the patient has to be able to take the pill themselves without assistance. The doctor is not allowed to administer the medication directly in any way.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It benefits for-profit hospitals if they keep people alive. Hospital bills stack up, making them more rich by doing things people don't actually need.
On a related note: Fuck the ambulance companies. All of them.
FlamingBlueJay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's up with ambulance companies?
cyrilspaceman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're expensive? Some of them are fairly shady, but that's usually how management runs the business and treats their employees. I doubt that is what they are talking about.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:03:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have used ambulance/ paramedic services in my town a few times.
It is public, belongs to the city.
The first time they came to my home and advised me to actually go to the hospital with our car, they say there was no rush and it would save the fee. The second my son broke a bone and they came to school, this time they actually took him to the hospital. Both times they were super courteous, competent and efficient.
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:59 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not the case in many places
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:44 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was not saying it was. I was pointing to the fact that it is public, and works very well.
SeattleGirl83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. I just lost my Godfather/uncle to Alzheimer's after a decade long battle. His and my mom's sister is now at end stage, and my mom is on her 3rd year, so I know what the future holds. If euthanasia was legal in the country where my mom lives, she would definitely choose to go before the disease takes over. Watching someone live at the end stage year after year as they live their 2-3 minute memory cycle is terrible!
JustAsLost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:19 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably way too late on this but there's a documentary on assisted suicide called How to Die in Oregon and it's incredible movie that really opened my eyes on the subject. I think it still might be on Netflix
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do sort of agree with this, but there are definitely reasons why it isn't legal.
I think the problem is that there will be famillys that pressure their elderly into euthanasia because they have their eye on the inheritence.
Ta11ow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's already being done, euthanasia or no, there are things one can do in order to shorten people's lives at the cost of a lower quality of life for them.
It being legal won't change much, in truth.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, it would be a lot easier to apply that pressure if there was an easy, legal and low effort way of euthinasia.
I honestly don't know where I stand on this issue, I've never suffered depression in my life and had no contact with people who want to kill themselves thankfully.
kilkil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely agree with this. I mean, if there's literally nothing but pain in your foreseeable future, then isn't it kind of justified? I'd rather not die at all, but if I had to, I'd probably minimize pain at least.
firala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the problem that most people don't have the ability to choose to shut off the machines at that point anymore and families keep them around? In Germany doctors can't give "Sterbehilfe" (lit. dying help) unless in very specific circumstances. If someone is kept alive artificially they'd need written consent of the person himself or someone close if he can't give it. I've heard of many cases where the family wasn't ready to let go so they kept their spouses/fathers/... around for much longer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agree, in the same boat with my grandma now. :/
itsameemaariooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was expecting to find at the top. My personal experience of course shapes my view on the subject, however, it's still astonishing that we take away free will and dignity from those that are in extreme pain, and mental deterioration.
imjohnk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch the Dutch documentary called "Nachtvlinder", I think you can watch it with English subtitles as well. It's about a girl who has the same disease as her mother what means she won't get really old. At age 26, she got in hospital but she didn't want to be remembered as an ill person because her disease would only get worse. So she decided to throw one last party for all her friends and then do euthanisia. It's a really beautiful documentary and one of the most popular in The Netherlands.
gtkrug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My personal experience with this is a father with late stage lewy body dementia. The worst part is that my father knew how bad it would get when he got the diagnosis three years ago, and he had basically told the family he was going to take his own life before it got to the point where he no longer had the ability to chose for himself, but these terrible diseases can advance more rapidly then you expect, and he lost the ability to decide for himself.
I feel like when the diagnosis is made for these degenerative mental illnesses, the patient should be allowed to specify the point when they want their life terminated. His life is at the point where I just hope something else accelerates his death, because his life is just one of pain, terror, confusion, and depression. Were I to get a similar diagnosis in my life, I wouldn't risk waiting a day as his life seems like pure and unrelenting torture.
He has a living will, do not resuscitate, no feeding tubes, and all of that, but all of that barely helps to accelerate passing with late stage dementia/alzheimer's. Even if you tried to starve yourself to death, you will probably fail just because you won't realize that was what you were trying to do in a day or two.
(edit: This is the same disease Robin Williams was diagnosed with briefly before he committed suicide, and I found myself thinking how smart he was to do it. I'm sure his lifelong battle with depression made the immediacy of his decision easier, but he saved himself and his family untold amounts of pain and suffering with his decision.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was some weird mental compartmentalization that lets people say they're lovingly putting their dogs down to ease their suffering, but also allows them to absolutely refuse doing the same for family members.
whatsername25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, is that really what they do? Starve them?
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take it to the next step. I think parents should have the option to euthanize special needs. It's an overall burden to the family and the individual. Let the controversy begin!
purpletomato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where do you draw the line for special needs though? quadriplegic? down's syndrome? aspergers? missing an arm? ADHD? .....it's too hazy
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about signs of these things in the womb. I don't think you can diagnose ADHD to a fetus. I meant more of abortions, not actually killing alive people with special needs.
purpletomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's already a thing. plenty of people abort after finding out their fetus had down's.....not sure why you think this is a hugely controvertial opinion
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feel free to bring this subject up at your next get together or at work. It's definitely controversial. Abortion is a controversial topic let alone aborting fetus's because of characteristics.
purpletomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is reddit. "let the controversy begin!" doesnt really apply here to saying you'd abort a down's fetus. sorry
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:13 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you seem to be having a bad day. Sorry.
bsmith84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know two people who the doctors said would have Downs Syndrome when they were fetuses. There's not a thing wrong with them.
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's a risk. I stand by my statement.
Some_Joe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:53:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need more upvotes. This is a real issue.
[deleted] ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 03:22:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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ChrisPrattsLoveChild ยท 968 points ยท Posted at 18:47:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other people not drinking. I have a few friends who for their own reasons dont drink and every time we are out they have so many people astounded that they dont drink and trying to get them to drink.
gmessad ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:54:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate this. If someone does not drink, I find it weird when people don't just let it go. They can't just trust that I have my reasons. Write out a list of the pros and cons of consuming alcohol. Why do I need an "excuse?"
[deleted] ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 02:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my girlfriend both don't drink by choice. She likes that I don't because she doesn't like being around drunk people, which is why she won't drink. I just don't enjoy being drunk so I don't do it, but I'm around my drink friends at parties and I don't care. But people bother us about it all the time. I almost punched a kid in the face before he stopped offering. It's not that I'm against it he was just so annoying.
DukeOfDownvotes ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:20:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I also don't drink, and never have. It's good to be able to relate to people who deal with annoying buttholes like we do. Good on ya.
venomae ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:04:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, we have the same thing. I cant even count the amount of times I have been offered that someone will "teach me how to drink" cause obviously I dont know that if I'm not a borderline alcoholic.
momsasylum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know exactly how you both feel and its annoying as fuck. Next time you're out one of you tells the person you're allergic, and the other has Alcohol Flush Syndrome. And that's what drew you to each other, that should get them off your back.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:48:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like being honest. Sometimes I think people attach a stigma to alcohol and they feel that if I'm not drinking then that must mean that everyone else who is drunk is doing something wrong. People don't like being wrong but I wish they understood it's okay to drink and it's also okay not to.
giraffe_princess ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I are the same! People who try to get you to drink only make me happier about my choice
BeatSkeetAndRetreat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:19:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously it's by choice
Iouis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not my choice I'm allergic :(
kia_the_dead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess the only people who would offer are, themselves, drunk, which would only worsen the situation.
truthdoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just enjoy being buzzed. There is middle ground between being sober and drunk.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:47:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like the buzzed feeling. I've never been truly drunk but I've never had great fun with alcohol.
TVCasualtydotorg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish there was for me. I go from sober to fucked up.
Go_Sabres ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 03:37:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a drink or two doesn't mean you're drunk.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:58:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that. She doesn't mind buzzed people but she has bad anxiety. I don't like being buzzed either. I've never been DRUNK but I've never had a positive experience with alcohol either. Nothing terrible I just don't enjoy myself.
Ga1apagO ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:38:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the person
tomba444 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:06:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like the kind of person he'd punch in the face.
Go_Sabres ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:46 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And why is that?
tomba444 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:00 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because that's exactly the kind of shit that people say when they try to pressure others into drinking, and it's annoying.
Fearltself ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:52:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, you're either stone cold sober or black out wasted. There is no in between.
Iouis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:38:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/s ?
bbluech ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:58:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This! Both my parents are alcoholics (both sober for 10+ years before I was born) but like no way am I gonna drink because I'm genetically predisposed to being an alcoholic. Still awkward as hell at parties though.
rebelaessedai ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:53:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate is like this. His parents were alcoholics and crack addicts. He won't touch weed or alcohol, or any potentially habit forming drugs.
What he does instead is drink four two liters of Mountain Dew every day and spend all of his free moments playing games on the computer.
He's still an addict.
Hayasaka-chan ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:54:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He picked his poison.
BlaikeMethazine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:19:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He is still an addict, yes.
But he's better off with the Mountain Dew than with alcoholism.
rebelaessedai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:02 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I mean between the two it means he's very sedentary, and he looks like an alcoholic with a beer gut and a meth addict with no teeth because they rotted out from his habit. He's 34. All that sugar might be a big problem down the road.
Still probably better than alcoholism, but definitely dangerous.
psycospaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like I'd get along great with your roommate.
rebelaessedai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:53 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We should start up a roommate finding service called "Roommates Anonymous," where you find people based on what addictions you share.
Sveinson ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:36:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't drink. Every time I am at a party my friends ask if I want some alcohol, and when I resfuse, they usually shout something like "more for us!" and keep on drinking them down.
I also happen to DD a lot.
cadraig ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:32:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
err.... Drink & Drive? Double-Down? Dungeons & Dragons?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:12:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Designated Driver
Log_in_Password ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:40:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so many possibilities, i don't have a clue either.
Sveinson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Designated driver
deathglitter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:40:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. This infuriates me. I like drinking, but some nights I just don't feel like it. Also, I have several friends who have struggled with alcoholism or who just don't like being drunk, and they have every right not to drink but to still come out and be sociable. It's a huge sign of immaturity and insensitivity when people can't respect that.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:41:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who try to get people to drink who are not drinking for ANY reason, be it partied hard the night before or swore it off for the rest of my life so I don't drink myself to death, are horrible people straight up. It's a really heated topic, leave it the fuck alone.
idealgrind ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:35:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Wish people would stop hounding me. I have AIH (autoimmune hepatitis) so I can't really drink. Still do on the odd celebration, though. But even AFTER I tell someone that and they're like "yeah naaaaah come on have a drink, I'll buy you one" I'm just like... seriously? You 'buying' makes no difference. You're seriously an idiot. End conversation here and don't make friends with this person.
On the other hand, I'm usually the designated driver which is awesome and my good friends really appreciate it.
Crunchyonion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:16:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also have AIH, and I didn't drink before i knew I even had it. People would never stop telling me "com on have a drink". Or "Don't be a pussy and drink". Then I got AIH and it all stoped. Really I need to have a condition for you to stop? The why question should be taboo, It can be a really personal thing.
idealgrind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know what you mean! However, for me, even after I tell people I have AIH (not just that, but actually explain what it means) they're like "...soooooo you sure you don't want a drink?". Mate, what on earth do you think? With the exception of my closest friends who completely understand and then have my back when I'm dealing with said idiots haha.
Sometimes I wish there wasn't such a big drinking culture in Australia. It's seriously a massive problem but not many people 'get' that.
KittyHammer ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:37:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love not drinking in places where people are drinking. I love watching others drunk while I am sober. Quality entertainment.
LoneWolfe2 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:52:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly why so many drinkers have an issue with non-drinkers.
Scottz0rz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drunk people are fucking hilarious as long as they're not in a place that I am responsible for cleaning.
Although if someone is drunk at my drive-thru window, I get mad. I've had several family members hit or killed by drunk drivers, and I'll tell my manager to call the damn cops if the driver isn't sober. Stupid fucking college brats.
KittyHammer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain why drinkers would have an issue because of that?
bbrpst ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:29:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not him but can give you my perspective. Sometimes you just wanna let loose and drink and have fun. Sometimes (maybe even often) you do some stupid stuff, and what you least want is someone who was sober and watched to rub it in your face the days after. I respect people who don't drink, whatever they want is fine to me, but i probably wouldn't invite them to a party if the intention was to drink.
KittyHammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair yet what if their intention is to join along in the fun? Or is this just a concern of "what if" scenarios?
Usurethatsright_bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey /u/bbrpst, shouldn't that be "want to"?
apriloneil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:16:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a bar, and it's really frustrating how sometimes people just don't understand when a staff member doesn't drink. For whatever reasons - they're on medication, they're hungover, they quit drinking, they don't like drinking. It doesn't matter. While I love the people I work with, there is a real big culture of binge drinking and as someone who is trying to cut back on drinking for my mental and physical health, it makes it really hard to stay on track when people are shoving tequila shots in your face and giving you shit for turning down a drink.
DukeOfDownvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:30:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you duder. Keep doing what you're doing, and let everyone who doesn't like it fuck right off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:16 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
call jon taffer!
Dragynwing ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:33:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a recovering alcoholic and I appreciate the normies like you who don't act aghast at my non-drinking habits. The thing is, I don't abstain from drinking because drinking was a ton of fun and I hate good times. I don't drink because drinking for me is terrible suffering. It's a bad experience for me and everyone around me. I don't get offended by people drinking around me. I think it's great that others can enjoy drinking. I can't and that's fine with me. I'm a happy sober person and a miserable drunk.
Cogeno ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:02:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend like this. I usually drive because buses turn to shit past 11PM, Uber surge pricing occasionally gets out of hand, and riding in a normal taxi around here usually has me making deals with God just in case.
When I go out, I tend to keep the alcohol to a minimum for the above reason. Even after explaining that, he insists on buying me drinks (including hard liquor).
Slugette ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:16:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me an my boyfriend avoid drinking. His is a health concern slash not a huge fan of the expense and feeling thing, mine is a alcohol gives me cysts and the runs slash not a huge fan of the expense and feeling thing.
It's funny cause before we dated I tried getting him drunk. Now that we're dating he taught me you can actually refuse to do something you don't enjoy. So we don't.
gazwel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scotland is bad for this.
TAKE A DRINK! TAKE A DRINK!
emu90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Australia is at least on par.
Usurethatsright_bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey /u/emu90, shouldn't that be "Australia"?
emu90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the bot's broken.
Usurethatsright_bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm running on what is basically a potato, cut me some slack.
emu90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, wasn't me going about correcting your perfect spelling!
Just some helpful feedback haha
gazwel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A Scottish v Aussie drinking competition would be interesting to say the least...
Maybe we could get the Irish to judge?
emu90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those cunts would be too drunk to judge shit.
sherribobbins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:07:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Ex husband was an abusive belligerent drunk. I don't drink. I don't get invited to parties either. Sad.
electromage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, this as annoying. I drink now and then, but I've never been drunk. I had friends who told me that they don't feel like they know me because they've never seen me drunk. Haven't talked to them in years.
I also feel bad when people I'm with decline to drink and everyone grills them about it, and offers to buy them drinks. People have their own reasons, and we should respect that.
It's probably a combination of trying to make sure they're having a good time, and jealousy.
DukeOfDownvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16, and my best friend started smoking and drinking, he said to me "man, DukeOfDownvotes, we're such good friends. Imagine how much closer we'd be if you weren't straight edge." What a prick. Imagine how close we'd be if you didn't put shit like weed and booze before friendship. We're still friends, but it's never been the same after he said that.
PianoMastR64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagining life after nationwide pot legalization, I wonder if we'll develop the same attitude toward smoking.
SnapeWho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory piggyback to mention /r/teetotal for anyone who might be interested.
CatAttack13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a fucking nightmare! As someone who gave up drinking a couple years ago, I can relate. I get all sorts of obnoxious questions, the latest being, "Why? Are you trying to lose weight?" Um, no. I'm clearly snacking on fries right now. Does that mean you're trying to gain weight by drinking?
The other annoying thing is when people apologize for drinking around me, and they do it in a weird way that sounds like they're trying to justify drinking, even though I never mention it. "Hey, do you mind if I have a drink?" "What? Of course not. Do whatever you want. " "I'm sorry. It's just...I just really like to have a drink with dinner." "Then have a drink with dinner. " "I hope it's okay...I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. " "FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I'LL POUR YOUR DRINK MYSELF."
ericcris10sen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea every time I'm with people who drink, they get plastered and say shit they probably shouldn't have said and wouldn't have said if they were sober. I'm sitting here like, awesome, I really didn't need to know that about you, but thanks for that....
JonasBrosSuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as someone who doesn't like drinking(doesn't taste good) i'm trying to be more vocal about not drinking, but it's sometimes difficult cos i don't want to be the buzzkill
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love teetotallers, they sometimes drive me home if I buy them a few soft drinks.
I think people don't like what they can't understand and they don't know it, like I don't fully understand the aversion to drinking, but it's their choice I figure maybe they just saw alcoholics in their family or they do it for health reasons or maybe they just experience it differently to normal people. Either way it's fair enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend doesn't drink and it's because of a medical issue. It winds me up that she has to tell people that to stop them practically pouring drinks down her throat. Why the fuck should she have to tell you anything about her medical history? A simple "no thank you" is fine in any other situation but people are so weird about alcohol.
I can only imagine how hard it must be if you are recovering alcoholic. The temptation would be hard enough to resist without people buying them for you even though you said no!
I understand wanting to be polite and generous but there is a point at which you've gone too far and it becomes quite rude imo.
RabbitSlayer212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My biggest problem with people who don't drink is that Roose Bolton says he doesn't drink, right before he spoilerspoilerspoilerspoiler However, if you are a recovering alcoholic and don't plan on spoilerspoilerspoiler then I have no problem with it.
TVCasualtydotorg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went from being a pretty big, messy, drinker to stopping last year. I got tired of not being able to stop, losing nights to blacking out, offending people, waking up worried I'd offended people, spending way too much money on alcohol without memory of doing so and the long, day killing hangovers.
Every time I hang out with people, the first question, before "how are you?" is "you still not drinking?" It is fucking irritating. And then someone always starts trying to pressure me to drink. This is why I've more or less stopped going out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it just doesn't make sense... going to a bar and not drinking.... It'd be like...
pobparker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay fun people who can DD!
Sineadphy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to drink really heavily and pretty often, but once I got to about 18 I just decided that I didn't like my lack of control when I was drunk etc and so decided to stop getting drunk but will still have a couple drink. Now 4 years later some of my friends still try to convince me to get drunk every single night we go out.
BenadrylCrumplebunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't go out to bars unless I'm the designated driver. That way I can use that as an excuse instead of trying to argue with drunk people. My close friends don't have a problem with it thankfully. In fact, when I DD for them, they get drunk and tell me how awesome I am and buy me food.
buncatfarms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this was my entire 20s. every time i met new people or went out for a work function, it was a good 5 minute conversation on how i don't drink and don't i want to and they feel bad that i don't drink. and then i feel bad cause they probably think i'm judging them or looking down on them but its not that - my body just doesn't handle alcohol that well.
SuddenUrdge2PooP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend recently stopped drinking all together, and even though hes a great drinking partner and we have had great times drinking together, I am happy for him I kind of wish I had his discipline but hes still fun and will still go out and see a band with us and we pretty much have a permanent DD, haha!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that doesn't drink and I accept that but he does it for the dumbest reason. He said he doesn't because his father is an angry drunk which therefore would make him an angry drunk. That logic... I would be understanding if he knew he becomes violent when drunk but I've know him since like 4th grade so I know he's never been drunk and he's very laid back to begin with.
devries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For many, participation in a culture--especially a drug-culture (like drinking alcohol or smoking weed, etc.)--is a strong litmus test for group solidarity in much the same way that not, say, "smoking the peace pipe around the natives" is around the campfire, literally and figuratively.
A lot of norms are packed into particpating in a drug culture; for many, explicit rejection of the drug offered ("let's get a beer together!") is taken to be an implicit rejection of them, their hobbies, values, etc. It's sad, but there are solid socio-cultural reasons why people are so offended or taken aback when others don't drink. It's like being in the Bible-Belt and saying to a Baptist, "I'll go to church with you, I guess, but I'm an atheist."
Stove_The_Appliance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate is like this. He doesn't drink or do any drugs but we are friends with many people who do both. It's a constant struggle to remind them that while my roommate is coming to this party with us, he won't be drinking and nothing will convince him to do otherwise. We've had friends cut out of our circle because they've tried tricking him into drinking alcohol more than a few times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your post gave me a headache.
Almost drives me to drink.
PrettyLittleTruthers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:09 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcoholic in recovery here.
I've noticed that when people CARE that I don't drink, they probably have a drinking problem themselves. My non-alcoholic friends don't give a shit.
CripticSilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:40 on July 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if it's too late.
The reason I don't drink, is because I don't like anything I have tasted before. I don't find it annoying when somebody tries to make me drink, only if it is a drink I haven't tasted before. Because I'm willing to try new things, as long as I don't have to pay for it.
UncreativeTeam ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:26:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know there are legitimate reasons not to drink, but I can't help but feel paranoid around those people. It's weird when everyone's not at the same level of awareness/sobriety/drunkenness and a select few can remember everything with perfect recall...
Tiberius5115 ยท 574 points ยท Posted at 20:27:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling someone the next day after a date. I always thought the two day rule was stupid, if you like someone call them and ask them out again don't play "games" with people.
Soapuel ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 02:35:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait that's a thing? That doesn't make any sense!!!
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 03:18:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah there are all kinds of rules. There was even a very popular book about it. Don't call him he has to call you, call after three days, don't answer his first call, blahblahblah...it's really quite pathetic.
Soapuel ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:37:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is even the point of that? If anything, wouldn't that distance the relationship between the two people?
Therealhawkeye ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:44:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every generation has a bit of courting to get through, standard "guidelines" to use to feel a bit more comfortable, and it's all fucking stupid.
Soapuel ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:48:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. It doesn't make any sense at all.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:43:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just stupid girly shit for teenagers. The idea is that you establish some sort of dominance and make him work for it. Make yourself seem mysterious or like you could care less, and that he has to pursue you. It's not really for normal people more for stupid idiots.
Aassiesen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:57:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I go on a date with someone and they make it clear they couldn't (You meant couldn't right?) care less about me/a second date then there isn't a second date.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes yes couldn't my bad I always get on people for that and of course I say it without thinking. Yeah like I said I think, "the rules" were more of a highschool gimmick but I knew girls who followed them for sure.
thisguy883 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:55:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except when girls do this i lose interest and find another date.
Astrocytic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:04:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because. Some women (and men, most often the former) are clingy. We live in a day and age where receiving texts or calls from someone is forced communication because everyone is inseparable from cell phones these days. This can be suffocating. It's a hard rule of thumb for making a good first impressions amongst those who may be prone to arousing feelings of suffocation in the other party. And in part courtesy.
IronScheherazade ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of unpopular opinions, as a young man who often talks about this with other young men, I feel like dudes are actually the clingier sex.
jmn700 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:23:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think its more pathetic that people play these games and think they have something to win. I have lost my interests few times, because of these games. If you are hard to deal with before we are actually dating, why should I even bother to date you?
UpsetLobster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:30:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's why in a paradoxal way I like those games. Weeds some of the shitty ones out I would not like to date anyways.
jmn700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but also there are some good guys and girls who don't like those games, but they still play because they think that's the we it should be. But yeah, otherwise it does weed some unwanted company.
ImmaCountryBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's gone this is the 21st century, it's texting now. Usually the one who got asked out is supposed to text the next day and say "I had a great time" or something along those lines.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:28:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually supposed to be a three day rule. I saw a comment in a thread a few weeks ago about a guy who started dating a sweet Asian girl who misunderstood the rule, leading to her waiting to text back for three days for every single message. The "rule" is that you wait three days to call after the first date so you don't seem desperate.
_Bones ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:20:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually text a little while after the first date, maybe an hour or so, and say some relatively inoffensive thing like "hey I had a good time tonight" or whatever. Or at least the next day. No reason to put it off like you're scared or something.
marishtar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think more-so back in the day before text messaging. You had to commit to a conversation, if you were going to call them.
Bloodshotistic ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:58:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mind games are the worst. What are we? High schoolers?
Tiberius5115 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:08:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed thank you. I'm 25 years old and they still haven't stopped. Someone please tell me they do eventually.
Bloodshotistic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:30:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they do stop, you have found someone who isn't dictated by the social norms or things that aren't taboo. IMHO you have found someone who matches you.
_Bones ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do if you date people who are at least as mature as you are. The shit I put up with being 26 and in college...
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Honestly in the age of smartphones, texting and 24/7 connectivity if you waited 3 days to ask me out again I would have already assumed you're not interested.
My own personal rule: if there was an undeniable, amazing spark send a 'I had a great time' text a few hours later. Otherwise, check in tomorrow lunchtime. Also, am a girl. I have no qualms about doing the asking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:30 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This "rule" is much older than clickbait
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:45:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancรฉ asked me out for a second date not even an hour after our first date. Made me all happy and rainbows inside, it did :)
Bens_Dream ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Welsh?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd think they're doing Greatsh.
I regret nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just a dorky Canadian.
Saliiim ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:14:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I waited a week, mostly because I was nervous as fuck and was waiting for her to text me...
Turns out she was as, if not more, nervous than me and waiting for me to text.
FUCKING TEXT THEM IF YOU LIKE THEM.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:03:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this one. As a girl who recently went on a date with an old friend, you can't imagine how much of a confidence boost you get when the guy asks right before you get dropped off home if you are interested in another date.
Strelox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that rule was for after you got their number originally. Don't want to seem too super needy.. now do we?
Voxmasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're wrong. It's the three day rule, and Jesus invented it. /s
Sean1708 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go one further than this, I ask them out for a second date while still on the first date.
soldiercross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is less common now with texting and stuff.
Tiberius5115 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:45:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only 25 and I've never asked a girl on a date by text, phone calls or in person is the way to go.
soldiercross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, I mean waiting on replies. If you're interested message when you want to. Just don't overdo it.
feex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:12 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. I'm Hard of Hearing and super busy. I prefer text
Tiberius5115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:07 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would agree it depends on the person. I just haven't run across anyone who truly prefers text in my time.
foxedendpapers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there's anything wrong with contacting the person the next day, but I think the cultural expectation of a three-day wait is a good idea. Sometimes it's difficult to honestly evaluate your feelings immediately after a date (especially if drinking is involved!), and knowing you have a buffer before the other person gives up on you gives you that space.
It can keep you from getting to obsessive about a relationship too quickly as well.
That said, perhaps the best aspect of the expectation that you'll wait a couple days is that it lets you make a strong statement by contacting them sooner.
TomKfisherFFW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what i did! 3 years later we're still together!
SuddenUrdge2PooP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES!! my friend is the worst with this, maybe that's why shes never been in a relationship even though shes hot and smart and likes sports, I see how someone could fall in love with her but when shes with a guy shes not her self and she plays all these games I'm like just call him and ask him out, tell him your interested, at least you'll find out if he likes you too the worst that can happen is he says no or something mean and then you know not to waste your time, but she'll spend weeks torturing herself over a guy hoping he will call or wondering when or what to say if she calls him, I've always been bold with my relationships and it seems to work out better
Tiberius5115 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people being bold doesn't work with aren't people you really want to date any way, at least in my experience. If someone is put off by you telling them that you are interested in dating them they either 1.) don't feel the same way 2.) still enjoy those petty games
Number 2 is almost never worth the effort.
curemode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's actually a balance to be found in these games/rules of courtship. Don't use them and you may be missing a chance to create more excitement and attraction in the relationship, but get too adamant with them and you could end up frustrating and driving away the other person.
DeadPrateRoberts ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 04:33:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh, so naive. It's not a cultural thing. It's a biological thing. Guys need to not appear desperate, and waiting a few days to call her again is one way to do that. For whatever reason, women want what they can't have. If you're clearly already whipped after one date, she's going to lose interest. .38 Special may have been a bit of a cheesy band, but one of their songs has some very sage advice tucked away in the lyrics:
Just hold on loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control
Tiberius5115 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking about being needy or anything man, just call and ask them out again for a date a few days later. I personally don't think it's a big deal
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:21:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its kinda built into us that we desire something more if it's supply is low. You create this by waiting. But in the end it's a stupid rule, just play it by ear.
MeowHoarder ยท 2734 points ยท Posted at 15:36:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not knowing what I want to do with the rest of my life.
pomporn ยท 2756 points ยท Posted at 19:44:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's totally miserable. Like making a to-do list.
Die
P.S. get milk at store
GrinningPariah ยท 1074 points ยท Posted at 23:00:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LordManders ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 23:20:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, way too ambitious!
dragontail ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:31:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Easy there Jesse Owens, no need to be a hero.
Popopopper123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quick! All it takes for this to become a meme is for some people to post this on a few other askreddit threads, then other people to spam it on /r/circlejerk! We can do it Reddit!
REsoleSurvivor1000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read AskReddit thread.
See new trending meme.
Make macros of said meme and reap karma.
Become euphoric
Get milk at store.
Popopopper123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leopter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:31:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit! I forgot the milk!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:19:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER
Calculate answer
Let There Be Light
Get milk at store
Stephen1985 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:35:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Realises that even if i were able to upload my mind to a computer it proabably wouldnt be "me"
Life if pointless
Die
GrinningPariah ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:55:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You cells die and replace themselves constantly. The atoms that make up your body are fully cycled every 10 years. "You" are beyond these material things. We are software, and one day our bodies won't be the only hardware that we can live in.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:37:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
GrinningPariah ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:31:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares if the flow breaks? We go through long periods of unconsciousness daily, and we don't dream for all of it by a long shot. Also, people go into long comas and often come out with their personality wholly intact.
More to the point, you're just stuck on the Ship of Theseus paradox. If you replace the ship all at once, it's obviously different, but if you replace the parts gradually, that calls it into doubt. But the only reason that paradox exists is for want of a clear definition of what makes that ship "that ship".
The gradual approach seems more feasible to you because you don't know what makes you "you". It's plagued philosophers and scientists both for centuries, but we're lucky in that now we live in a time when we've realized what consciousness is, how to describe it. The software analogy is essentially bulletproof, and it provides a blueprint for transference to new hardware.
Optionions ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:49:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously you just need a slow transition. Interface human and machine, combine the two into one inseparable entity, then slowly phase out the biological components until there is only machine. It's still you as much as you will still be you in ten years.
Stephen1985 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but i am of the opinion that i am not the same me that will be here tomorrow. he will just have all of my memories but i will be gone.
GrinningPariah ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:28:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then who gives a shit if the machine-mind isn't "you" when you aren't yourself day-to-day either?
Stephen1985 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because its a pointless en devour.
GrinningPariah ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:23:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meaning isn't something the universe hands us, it's something we must build above the universe. You can make it have a point.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stephen1985 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly so why bother.
douko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shout out to Ghost in the Shell, the movie that introduced this concept to me, and made it my life's goal to live long enough to put my mind in a full prosthetic body.
KrossWok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap that's a great (and concise) answer! I'm using it the next time someone argues with me about this.
Leopter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upload mind to Sourceforge
Get bundled with crapware installer
Everyone who downloads your mind has to remember to uncheck like 3 different opt out boxes
kwangqengelele ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Really, the only way the illusion that the copy is somehow actually you the individual is only maintained if they get rid of the original. Either by only booting up the copy when you die or through a more complicated shell game of murder like the teleporters in Star Trek.
A good thing to think about is you being sat down at a table with the copy and have a gun put in the middle. If you believe the copy is actually you then you'll be fine being shot by the copy.
Or to think of it another way, can you see out of the copy's eyes or feel what it feels? If not, that's another person who just so happens to be exactly the same as you. It sure seems like it's you walking about but the situation gets questionable when they don't find a way to get rid of you in the making of the copy.
Or, yet another way to think about it, what if instead of uploading your consciousness to one body you did it to multiple. Are there somehow many of you running around at the same time while actually being you?
Uploading your consciousness to a robot body is nothing other than a fancy, talking, walking gravestone.
Stephen1985 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I've always felt about it. If your copy can exist at the same time as you then it is not you because you cannot be in both places at once.
kwangqengelele ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically what it is is a bunch of work to trick the viewers' (not the original who will be destroyed but the new copy and anyone else that might be involved) object permanence in order to get something that seems close enough to immortality.
If you're dying of cancer uploading your mind will not save you. Your new self gets to go off and fuck bitches and you're going to be left to die of cancer.
And the line of logic that cellular death means you aren't the same you as yesterday ignores causality. If I go back in time and kill yesterday you, today you isn't here. While you're constantly changing you're still linked to past you through cause and effect. If I make a copy of myself and kill myself or the copy, the one left alive is unaffected by the death of the other.
A copy of yourself is about as tied to the original you as a child would be. If you kill the original before the act of conception the copy or child does not exist, after the point of conception the two are individuals and their identical nature is irrelevant.
Mindbeingred ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You will never become immortal.. Not if I can help it! HA HA HA HA HA
Doc_Whooves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silly Galactus, planets are for Thanos!
Trickelodean2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't devour the Galaxy without milk and cookies
BuyThisVacuum1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dinosaur eats man.
Woman inherits the Earth.
Level21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All you need is the first one.
Please let SAO be a thing while we are at it...
_steven42_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't devour the galaxy. Those phones taste terrible. I'd recommend an aged Motorola, instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TJzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you upload your mind to a computer you will still die, you will not become immortal, you will not live forever. you will however have a lasting concision imprint of yourself that may last forever.
javitogomezzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No neurotoxin after uploading mind to a computer? PFFF, amateur
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you upload your mind to a computer YOU are still going to die. For all your friends and peers it'll be like you never went anywhere, but you're still dead.
GrinningPariah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My body will die, but that's fine if I can back up my mind on a computer. The human body is just hardware, our minds are software.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:47 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it still won't be your conciousness, it'll be a copy of it. It's as if we created a clone of you, with all your memories and experience and then killed you. You are dead, but there's a nice copy of you for the rest of us to enjoy.
ghostpoopftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You won't even need the milk when your stomach is full of all that devoured galaxy!
lokibo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โขturn into USB โขget milk at store
MichelangeloDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that you Jonjo?
RSollars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EVEN IN DEATH I STILL SERVE
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, that was my plan!
solidmel2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T FORGET THE MILK, GRINNINGPARIAH!!!
thisguy883 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God damn milk.
You just reminded me i need milk.
FishFollower74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
P.S. get milk at store
FTFY
PBborn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:07:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am god! For what do I need milk? Milk was the meaning of my life. It was my goal. Milk. What am I without it? How can I live forever, with nothing to live for? What I'm I now? fucking reddit
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:52:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I could afford gold...
Smart_in_his_face ยท 1185 points ยท Posted at 20:57:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vain attempt at happiness.
Stop caring, just ride it out.
Realize everyone else is also thinly hiding the fact that nobody cares.
Faint glimmer of hope.
Nobody still cares, lose all hope.
Forget store, no milk.
Death.
Ulti ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 21:54:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP me.
lolcop01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIP ur skeleton
AKnightAlone ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 00:54:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bright future.
Fuck up.
Fuck up some more.
Fuck bitches.
Get fucked over.
Fuck up again.
Continue fucking up from the last fuck up.
Find new and exciting ways to fuck up.
Complete list of fuck ups.
Fuck up at your list.
Decide to stop fucking up.
Fuck up a few more times.
Finally learn from your mistakes.
Fuck up in spite of your experience.
Make shitty posts on the internet with occasional bouts of shutting the fuck up.
Randomly crawl out of room to remember how it feels to fuck up.
Decide it's better not to fuck up.
Avoid all possibility of fucking up, thereby fucking up.
Fuck up at staying alive.
SunsFenix ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:27:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At 25 I've accepted that everything is fucked up and that my future is fucked. So ride it out until death.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeehaw!
icamefrom9gag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No milk for you then
riefenbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please write a book because I love this.
I'm easily entertained. Maybe drunk. Maybe yes.
FormerlyGruntled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, you forgot the milk. You really fucked up there.
AKnightAlone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit... If I had money for milk I'd have left out a few steps in this list already.
Finsternis ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:15:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why older people have such a well-deserved reputation for being frank and abrupt. It's because the older you get, the more you realize what bullshit stupid social niceties are. You start to get sick of dancing around the subject or being elaborately polite. You start to just say what you think and do not care whether the other person finds you direct or not. Personally, I find it very freeing.
sgol ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:38:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Latvian to-do list.
Hiei2k7 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:51:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
P.s. don't forget potato
CaelestisInteritum ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:20:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Store forget potato
Harbltron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but is joke! store burn down. also no potato before burn
dragontail ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So cold...
bigmeaniehead ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ethiopian to do list
stephenLARPer ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:16:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My life was miserable. I thought no one was ever really happy. But now I'm happy as fuck and everyday I just learn about new interesting things and discuss them with my husband and watch movies and drink and enjoy my children and I don't give any fucks. We have plans to buy a farm and not give any fucks there, and we work toward that but we also don't stress about it. Life can be a pretty good fucking time.
PM_ME_RED_LIPS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What changed for you?
heyham ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:34:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Schlong extension.
stephenLARPer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in an abusive relationship, where I had been with the guy since I was 16. He was 4 years older so I learned to look up to him an unhealthy amount. That's what contributed to my staying. I was beaten for everything, for years, badly. For example, feeding our daugter corn that wasn't organic by mistake...massive beating. Crying? horrible beating. He nearly killed me several times and I worked to support him while he stayed at home doing nothing. Eventually he got a job in another town and started a whole other family that was kept secret from me until she was a few months pregnant. I was pretty suicidal and my life was a black hole. But I did not let it ruin me. I didn't let it ruin being able to trust someone or fall in love and what changed was that I finally left that horrible man and I met my now husband. I didn't let all the awful things that happened to me ruin my happiness, on the contrary I completely let go and stopped worrying about a thing. After so many brushes with death and so much despair I enjoyed every happy day to the absolute fullest and over two years later I am still doing so. Long answer, but maybe someone will read this and it will change how they feel about life and give them some hope.
hsapin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing, you're an inspiration! I'm happy you were able to find happiness!
PM_ME_RED_LIPS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you are in a better place now. Thanks for sharing. That really puts things in perspective.
amedeus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:48:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lemmingsoup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:49:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok, this is true wisdom. Imagine if you'd been one of those poor suckers who went to the store only to procure meaningless milk. How our precious time would have been wasted had we succumbed to such trivial temptations as milk-from-the-store!
somehow_ifeelhopeful ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at phase three right now
yaz8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my most depressing upvote
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And in between those things, pay fucking rent somehow.
NoCardio_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds exactly like my golf game.
bobbyb1996 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was having a good day too...
ArrrGaming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I made it to number 2!
akamoltres ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CainRedfield ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a bit of a grim way to look at it though.
papersupplier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it
kyotonow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Jesus cares.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there's no milk, why bother living at all?
~Wisconsinite
d1zy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazingly depressing
__dict__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depressing, but on the other hand, it did just remind me that I need to go buy milk.
chrisisaboss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mother fuckers are depressing. Shit aint so bad
Saliiim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Related?
Theoz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
should have chose cake
arbloch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, this is a pretty tough group. Y'all should get some hobbies or something.
HauntedCemetery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
y'all are living wrong. go do something today you'll tell your grandchildren about.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:21:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That "gap" year should really be before college and not after... The market is competitive enough these days.
shesallover ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:51:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vegan life list. Death before Dairy.
ExRegeOberonis ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:19:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, mine was more like "Can't afford college." "..." "Alright, then."
xorgol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was "apparently too stupid to finish college". At least I'm not in debt.
shehasgotmoxie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm looking forward to all but one of these things though...
pomporn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:03:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not what's on the list that counts, just the idea that it's all laid out there in front of you as inevitable. It's like a cell in the womb which is full of possibility and could turn out to be anything getting assigned to be a heart cell, or an eye, or whatever else, and the potential being lost.
I'm not interested in half those things (especially not milk and death), but they could very well be in the future for me. I just feel better thinking about the future as a mystery, and that anything could happen.
adiscoball ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:19:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know there are milk alternatives like almond milk, rice milk, coconut milk, and soy milk. So maybe you just haven't found the right one for you yet. It's not all so bad.
pomporn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:21:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the milk, I just don't want to go get it. I'm considering a cow.
adiscoball ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could probably have it delivered, I think almond milk is shelf stable. Been doing a lot of grocery shopping online lately.
BlLE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? You don't drink milk?
shehasgotmoxie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grocery shopping is such a chore. :/
DrDabsMD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet somehow, we'll still forget the milk.
Artichook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to leave a note
Kirboid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let it go George
fishneedsporpoise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this will remain my favorite comment this week, and it's only monday!
Traiklin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:08:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before job and after graduate should be psychotic breakdown from the crippling debt you can never get rid of if you want to do anything
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just got done with my gap year and have moved onto career. My mom well be happy to know marriage is coming up soon.
norml329 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure, I've graduated college, and plan to go to grad school next year but besides that I don't have a clue and it's great. So much room for possibilities when you don't make a list of it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:17:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You read that writing prompt too, I take it.
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't remember the link exactly - it was a response to a prompt on /r/writingprompts where people made all their significant life choices at age 18 - in one of the responses to the prompt, the protagonist died getting milk at a convenience store at age 54. I thought your mentioning dying right after getting milk was referencing that story.
Leody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm between Career and Marriage and already got the milk... My life is at total mess.
Crunchendorf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you going to get milk at the store as a ghost or a zombie? Will you pay with cash, credit, bullion, intimidation, or brute force?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I skipped the college part, saved myself tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and freed up years of time.
I'm now successful in my industry, pulling in $120k, and have it pretty easy, generally speaking.
I think that, with some sciences aside, college has turned into a scam.
I remember just how hard they pushed into our heads that we HAD to attend college when I was in HS. They pushed it so hard that it seemed like a con, and it kind of is, so it seems.
Mr_Magpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โข Done college and uni โข Career โข GF โข Lost career โข Gained Career โข Lost career โข Can't marry โข No Kids please โข I can do milk, milk can be afforded โข When do I need a car? I can't really afford a car. โข I gots me a load of milk โข Still no career โข Cannot even figure out how to format Reddit properly.
AlbinoBrowney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if the store is closed?
The_Lonesome_Drifter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gap decade
usurper7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the heck is a gap year?
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a common thing among graduates of HS or Uni to take a year off to travel and fuck around before getting 'serious'. Less common in the US though
usurper7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow that would be amazing. A whole year of vacation!
macweirdo42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember to get milk at the store at some point before I die, I can die a happy man. All of those other life milestones seem like mere child's play compared with my inability to remember to pick up milk while I'm at the store. And then I'm left thirsty and having to eat dry cereal. Ugh.
JaggedToaster12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm only able to get milk once in my life? Shit, I'm already fucked
karma3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Choose Life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television,
Choose washing machines,
Cars,
Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance.
Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.
Choose leisurewear and matching luggage.
Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want a gap year.
maddy77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, scratch the to do list, and do whatever the fuck you want
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
go to university
realize you hate it, drop out
year to work and think
go back to a new school for something you actually want
happy career
start own business
raise family
work till I die
coneilldez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've....that's...but that's my life list wtf mate.
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am holding your life list hostage and will not relent until you bring me a suitcase of unmarked, non-sequential milk.
coneilldez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you like 2% it's all they had.
Hiten_Style ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
squeel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So a gap year after college is totally normal and okay!? Please tell my parents.
notjustahatrack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't have to be this bad. Throw in some travel and hobbies and remove the gap year and children and it's perfectly fantastic.
tvvat_waffle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This just depressed the fuck out of me
Solarbro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How long is the gap year supposed to last? :(
truthinlies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what the shit is 'gap year'??
tell me you're not planning on working at the gap for a year!!
BevansDesign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten up to #4, and I've come to the realization that the to-do list is pure shit. It's a hell I want no part of. Plenty of people are happy to pair up and pump out some broodlings and ride that train until they die, but it's not for me, and it sounds awful. I just wish I had realized it sooner.
Of course, I have no alternative, so I'm depressed and desperately looking for a path to follow. Hooray for being different.
Seven65 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had the option of a gap year. I started working at 16.
Chimie45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont follow this list. Follow mine. Do something you love. Or do a job youll put up with. Weekends, carry a towel and explore!
lbspredh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
metrogdor22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:40 on July 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brad1119 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the reminder about the milk. Shit would've gone down had I forgot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You dont have to do any of those things. Each has its pros and cons which you (and no one else) should consider rationally and logically. For example I went to uni, but skipped the gap year and (currently) intend to skip marriage and kids, because commitment and kids are shit.
BBrown7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy. Your wife wanted me to remind you to get milk while you're out
SCX-Kill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got the milk part down at least
Arandur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's been
If you don't put it on your list, what makes you think you'll achieve it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the gardening, more gardening, and the ever important gardening
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't even do a gap year anymore. There's too much competition. You have to get out there as soon as possible
PM_ME_YOUR_HAMMIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds pretty good to me. Happiness is in the details, brother.
Ometrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How would gap year work if you stay having to repay loans 6 months after college?
JoaoR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you get Die up the list it makes the list shorter, that's for sure!
chhakhapai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh death, ohhh death, won't you spare me for another year..
expired_methylamine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound wealthy.
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assure you I am poor and am currently on a forever-gap-year which is less fun than it sounds.
jpreeves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but most of us will do this with a relatively small amount of excruciating pain, illness and personal tragedy (at least when compared to 99.9% of human beings who have ever lived). We'll do it with pizza, and Netflix, and red wine, and sunsets, and lots of quiet little moments that are each lovely in their own way.
raydiculus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still at gap year....it's been 3 years now....it really sucks
Runfasterbitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first three hints are only 5 years of my life- is it really going to be badly downhill from there?
BuyThisVacuum1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swallow sadness.
Send some faxes.
12GAUGE_BUKKAKE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Godamn it I'm out of milk don't remind me
whuzez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You go forgot go through your first divorce.
statutory_vape666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its really depressing to think that one thing will stay constant until the day I die: "we need milk".
PrincessLink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I'm missing one of those steps....
What is this "career" step I see??
iCantDieSoWhyDontYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why must it be like that
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't need to be. You can do whatever you want. What do you want to do?
eleventwentynine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of Dylan Moran's gardening skit: https://youtu.be/aunrJ5CXVMw
JonasBrosSuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you forgot
so depressing...
klevenisms204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*and a stick of butter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who on Earth get's a gap year anymore?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BREAKING NEWS
Horrible milk accident leads to tragic death of retired /u/pomporn.
Stoic_stone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The milk line being after everything is really fucking with me, can you insert it somewhere before "Die", please?
pomporn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Dr-NguyenVanPhuoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my plan was to retire after the gap year. could have easily done it if i invested in bitcoins earlier.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was basically exactly what my teacher outlined for us all in my planning class minus the care for healthy bones. It all just seemed really depressing.
ssshhhutup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Floss
knitwasabi ยท 224 points ยท Posted at 18:11:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hate to say it, but I'm in my 40's and still can't figure out what to do with my life.
turnsfast ยท 369 points ยท Posted at 18:28:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yep, I'm 40. I'm not ashamed that what I really want to do is get high play Gran Turismo and drink some beer. And a nap.
PaintItPurple ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 21:28:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't sound like you have this problem โ it sounds like you have figured it out.
wombat1 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:58:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least you're drink/drug-driving responsibly!
turnsfast ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:59:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is some cruel twist of spiteful karma that my favorite pass times are drinking and driving.
58592825866 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless he's playing online and ruining the race for everyone else by driving backwards around the track.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:39:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment really hit home with me b/c I am: in my thirties, great wife, great son, great house, pretty good career and hobbies...overall try to stay a positive person. Prob more happy than I've ever been.
But, for some reason I get seriously pissed about the total lack of Gran Turismo on PS4. I mean WTF? I was out of gaming for a few years. My wife surprises me with a ps4 when she's pregnant. I basically just assumed that GT7 would be out soon (and having been out of gaming I also assumed that GT6 would be workig on ps4.
Anyways, it's been cool b/c I still have my sports games and I've learned to like new stuff (Witcher 3 is great)...but I'm primarily a racing game fan. (I'm also in the minority in that I think Project Cars sucks.)
But yeah, I pretty much have what I want out of life. But, the total botch of the timing and 2087 release date for Gran Turismo 7 is something that I really do think about, and get bummed/frustrated about on basically a daily basis.
jackrabbit5lim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately for you Xbox is where it's at for racing games. The Forza series is just as good as Gran Turismo these days. Even better considering you can actually play them!
By the time GT7 comes out, X1 would have had Forza 5, Forza 6 and Forza Horizon 2. It is essentially the main reason I got an Xbox over PS4!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tell myself it's not that bad b/c I hated FH2. My buddy has FH2 and I can't stand it. Crashing though restaurant tables and off buildings the whole thing was super arcade and dumb to me.
I want real tracks, realistic lap times, some real racing teams cars, etc. but, I know Forza 6 will have all that.
E3 came around and from PD?.....nothing. Meanwhile, Microsoft is dropping a Ford GT out of the ceiling and has a sept release date on Forza 6...damnit.
I can't justify having two systems, and I'm not going through trading in. Microsoft lost me to Sony with the NSAbox. I'm pretty much stuck, I just hope it's by Xmas of 2015 at least. This 2016/17 crap is insane!
jackrabbit5lim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FH2 is actually a great game but you're right it's an arcade racer. It's competition is Need for Speed and The Crew etc. In my opinion it is better than both of those games. I love the style but im a big fan of the serious racer too.
Forza 5 was great and Forza 6 will be even better. It's a shame you still view the Xbox as a NSAbox because you're really missing out on great games. I only have one system too although if I could afford it i would have both!
I was just suggesting you look at Xbox (or PC) if you're an avid racing fan, because Playstation have massively dropped the ball in that regard. Saying that the new Formula 1 game is coming out soon iirc. That might scratch the itch until (if?) GT comes out!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, only GT7 or a Forza 6 will do. I could easily afford XBONE. But, my annual income just took a 17-18k/year hit. I'm still doing fine. But, stuff like having PS4 and XBONE when I maaaaybe play games 3-4 hours a week...well, that's just not happening.
REsoleSurvivor1000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm right there with ya on the GT7 thing. Bought my PS4 hoping that there'd be a soonish release date, but seeing as this is Polyphony we're talking about they're really good about being slow with the development.
Now of course there are other things to play on the Piss-Station 4 and there is always Forza on the Xbox, but even in my childhood I knew that deep down that I'm a Gran Turismo fanboy. I can't help that fact.
colbystan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:19:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't that be what we all want??
spank859 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:59:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If getting high and playing video games was an easily attainable job I would be employee of the year every year.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
turnsfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's got to be a sub for us somewhere.
raj96 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a site for you
It's called reddit
altkarlsbad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhhhh, yeah. /r/all
prospect_one ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:59:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can... Can we hang out?
turnsfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah man, come around to the basement door, don't want you to wake my "roommates". They have to work in the morning.
IAmKennyKawaguchi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, Forza's where its at.
tinfoilbat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and keep my lawn tidy.
skrill_talk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could use a beer and a lie down.
Jiggahawaiianpunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you're living the life
dankerstrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sir as my elder i would like you to respectfully know i have similar desires in life, im 39 and 1/2 so still being in my 30s im glad to know this is ok.
trevaman12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad?
experts_never_lie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying you have a plan.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why is that a bad thing? My dad says (He's 55) that all he wants to do with his life is drink a beer and sit outside of our camper in New York. Everyone thinks the end goal is to have a job that makes you happy. On the contrary, I think it's to have a job that doesn't make you hate yourself and gives you the funds so that you can do what you want to do with the rest of your life. Career =/= life.
Goose_Whistle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's your problem right there! You should be playing Projects CARS.
JLethalNKC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you've got shit figured out
sir_ramen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love naps.
XDSHENANNIGANZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
..or..
Am I you?
Who is us?
Etonet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hi im lamp
turnsfast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:22:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We love lamp.
birdnerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just turned 41. Drinking beer. Bunch of parts coming in this week to build a gaming PC. No ragrets.
thisgameisawful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only 28, but I've gotten attached to "whatever the fuck I feel like, asshole" for that answer.
evictor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go poop.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry. Most folks are in the same boat. I'm 56. Had 2 careers, retired at 45. Started a business, then another. And now own one and partnerships in two and hate both of them. ( the business and the partners) Am dissolving one next month. The other at year end. I keep telling my wife I'm going to be selective about next partnership or business venture. But the reality is someone will say "LobBobBlob let's go together and chrome plate turds, this area needs a turd shop" and I'll be in business again. For 2-3 years I'll love it and then I'll loath it. My normal cycle is to love an idea, get something going and then hate it. Amazingly we somehow make money, but it's not through fore site, planning or always knowing what we are doing. It seems that attention to detail, honest work, personal pride, reliability and that combined with some luck seems to pull us through. But knowing what i truly want to do in life still escapes me.
knitwasabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is me. I had to leave the one career that made sense, and I'm so far out of it, I can't get back in. So since then, I'm just plopping along into whatever comes along (I am not a leader, I'm an excellent follower and assistant). Make me feel better knowing I'm not the only one!
jmn700 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured out that I already knew what I should do. Many of my friends doubt every move that they make "is this the correct path? Where is my goal?". Dude (and dudettes), there's no goal and most of the time there is no path at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you could start by cleaning the basement. Freeloader.
knitwasabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I own the fucking house. However, my 13 year old freeloader needs to put the dishes away.
juggy_11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you do for a living if you don't mind me asking?
knitwasabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right now? Wash boats in a boatyard, survive on benefits for me and my two kids.
In the past? Long list: first job at 14 as a dishwasher, then the next year prep cook. Then waitress, cashier, ice cream scoop, waitress again, theme park attendant, PA on national talk show, PA on other shows, assistant producer, assistant line producer, public relations mouthpiece for a national broadband pressure group, (mother in here somewhere as well), online marketing on the side, yarn shop worker, and now back to waitressing and finally back to boat washer.
No degree, high school diploma.
haurgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if it's of any comfort, you're doing it now.
knitwasabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need to find a job that can support me and my two kids. I'm geographically hamstrung, as well as I don't have a lot of marketable skills.
AFewStupidQuestions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen?
This isn't the greatest recording. It seems a bit sped up, but there's a line or two in there that are pretty damn relevant.
knitwasabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hate that song. I'd heard all that crap for years before that came out anyway.
Tag613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
38 and I just try to make each day a happy one, this has always been my first goal in life. Today it's recovering from an island camping trip, coffee and getting toasted. Tomorrow will be work and flirting with nurses and cute clerks.
knitwasabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to do that, and then my world came crashing down. Now I'm just trying to survive.
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:28:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to say, as soon as I stopped trying to figure it out and just enjoy the ride, the easier life became. One day, what you want to do will come to you, until then, don't stress about it.
Etonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you've figured out exactly what you want to do though
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I don't think I have. I've accomplished a lot of the goals I set in front of myself, and right now I'm kind of coasting along not really sure what to do next. I'm sure it'll come to me eventually, but right now I'm just enjoying the ride. In a way it's kind of nerve racking though because I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to or work towards. I guess this is around when kids should probably come in the picture.
Etonet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well good luck. Personally i want to build a giant mech and conquer Texas or some place
CryptMonkey ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:45:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
as long as you're not on benefits while you're taking it easy/finding yourself, then it's all good.
edit: why is this an unpopular opinion? people are ok with wasting tax-payer money being idle when they're perfectly fit for work?
TOTINOS_BOY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're overestimating the benefit and need for so much work.
We live in a wealthy society, man.
CryptMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's more that people should be able to look after themselves without abusing benefits like so many in this country (UK) do just because they either "cant be bothered" or havent found their dream job. Better to have something else in the mean time to give your life some structure and self sustainment without having to drain money from the kitty that could be better spent elsewhere. I agree completely with what has been said so far in this thread about not knowing what you want to do long term and not fretting about it, but that doesn't mean doing nothing is OK until it comes along if you're a drain on society. Obviously for those that actually need it - fine, but it's definitely abused in this country.
(sorry for the rant)
zawata ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 18:40:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not knowing what you want to do is fine
Not attempting to figure it out is a problem
InvaderChin ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:42:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just it though. Unless you're a real close friend, you'll never know if they're trying to figure it out or not. All anyone can see is the result, the current product, who you are now. If that result suggests laziness, regardless of circumstance, you're judged for not knowing and you're not given any credit for effort made trying to figure it out.
zawata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an excellent point
I myself can't recall a time where I've ever berated(or even looked down upon) someone who doesn't know what they want to do Though I'm in college so that characterizes about half the people I meet
magickmidget ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:54:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I spent over a decade trying to figure it out, studying, working, doing what I thought I was supposed to, feeling pressure from everywhere, only to discover my "choice" didn't work for me. All the self doubt and feeling like a failure triggered another bout of depression. I've spent six months trying to work through that and some other health issues but most people think I'm just being lazy.
TL;DR you never know what other people are dealing with.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:06:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eh. I figure things might totally change in a year or two, so there's no point planning for it until you need to, beyond some vague hopes.
Etonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you attempt to figure out "yep, this is what i love, this is what i want to do with my life"? Not just anyone has the resources to try everything and see if they like it
Dmj576 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My answer is simple. I want to make money the rest of my life. As long as what I'm doing isn't illegal, immoral, and it lets me support my family, I pretty much don't really give a fuck what it is.
Stoic_stone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:37:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same, but now going into my last quarter of college in the fall, I'm not sure how long I'll be able to handle a Computer Science job even though it should pay pretty well.
___AhPuch___ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't mind me asking, why don't you know how long you could handle a Computer Science job?
Stoic_stone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well my friends and friends of friends in industry say it's not like school, and they'll pretty much teach you what you need to know on site because it's generally specialized and they want you to do specific things. That's the reassuring thing to me that has me only doubting my future, but if it ends up being like school then I think I might have to find a new field.
___AhPuch___ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with it being like school? I'm a 26 yr old construction worker considering getting into the computer field and just generally curious.
AcidCyborg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:42:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't bother with a BS in CS. Better off grabbing a bunch of certs in your desired field, being able to prove you can do stuff. College doesn't teach you shit.
Stoic_stone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well for starters Computer Science as a major is more focused on theoretical stuff, whereas industry is focused on creating a product. So while the things you learn may be useful, you spend a lot of time learning things that you aren't going to need.
Aside from that, and this might just be me personally, but everything you do in school (research aside) is just thrown away when you're done with it. Sure you learn from it, but it genuinely frustrates me to no end when I finish a project I've been working on for weeks, get a grade, and that's the end of it. It's the same as everyone else's (more or less) and it's trash now. You might write beautiful code, but there's no application for it, or if there is there's already something much better in existence so yours is trash nonetheless.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the worst. I'm currently in high school and have no idea what I want to do (though I'm considering being an electrical engineer).
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:08:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Etonet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true
Vanetia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:36:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my 30s and now want to make crafts at least part time.
In my 40s maybe I'll want to do something else. Who knows?
Always keep growing. Never nail yourself down. You are you no matter what you do :)
Masklin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. So sick of people telling me I should 'do' something.
softawre ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you should... The comment just above you says:
I completely agree. You need to do stuff to figure out what you want to do.
Masklin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does introspection count as 'doing stuff' ?
softawre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my opinion yeah, I guess - but it's not something you can do for a living so you eventually have to try stuff to figure out what you want to do for a living.
Of course making a living isn't everything, but it's an important part of being happy.
dustyoldbones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. Making a living isn't everything, but is is something everyone has to do. I think lots of young people who get depressed get hung up on not wanting to accept this reality.
softawre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I would tell those people - get out and do something. Do you like it? Great! You probably won't. Do some introspection about what you like/dislike about it and change careers (or if you're lucky, class schedules). Rinse/repeat.
I've seen people change career paths at 45 years old and be as happy as can be in their new jobs. The trick is to slowly move to what you enjoy while making sure you can both (1) relax and (2) get closer to what you enjoy outside of work hours.
fatboylawstudent ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:27:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This should have all the ups
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not knowing isn't a crime, but if you aren't exploring and trying to find out what your calling is, there's a good chance you'll wind up stuck with whatever happens to fall into your lap.
Maybe this applies to you, maybe it doesn't:
Going out drinking, playing video games, watching netflix, "hanging out," they're a fun and awesome in moderation. But it's like eating candy. If you eat candy once in a while it's awesome. If you eat candy all day every day it'll make you sick and you'll get fat.
Pursuing more complex interests, even if they don't turn out to be your calling, is good for you. It makes you more interesting and makes you more likely to take risks and try new things. And hopefully by doing so, someday you will find your calling.
You probably won't find your calling on Netflix, or at a bar, or on your xbox.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:16:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really believe in a "calling." Sure I guess I have a predisposition to some things more than others, but I don't believe I'm ever going to get some magical click, grab my face, and say "Holy fuck! I was born to be a fishery consultant!" or something. I'd rather just subsist and do things I enjoy doing in my downtime.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just capitalist propaganda anyway; you don't have to be useful to society if you don't want to
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:40:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since you'll spend half your waking life at work, finding a job that fits your interests is worthwhile, even if it's not exactly your 'calling.' There are lots of interesting jobs.
Plus, like I said, if you just take whatever comes your way there's a much higher chance you'll end up working at Walmart for 40 years and be too poor to have a family or do the things you love.
Cunt_Bag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My problem is that I have many things I'd like to do, so it's hard for me to just pick one and run at it. I hop from one thing to the next and find it hard to invest the needed time into each. Plus I'm a huge procrastinator so that's not helping, and I absolutely suck at trying to get organised, nothing seems to help.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all in your head dude; Procrastinating, doubt, fear that you're picking the wrong thing--you'll have to learn to ignore them.
Picking nothing is a million times worse than picking the wrong thing. Just get started, and switch later if you need to.
They key is to always be chasing something. Switching isn't the problem, it's stopping.
Cunt_Bag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm working on it, in the hope that one day something will stick. I'm annoying myself with my disorganisation, so with any luck I'll annoy myself into bettering myself.
thebeobachter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What can I do to try to explore myself?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick something and dedicate an hour to it a few times a week. Something you don't do, but want to; like playing an instrument or lifting weights.
Fitness is a good starter because the results are more tangible and you'll notice improvement quickly. Physical skills in general are like this I think. Less tangible skills like writing can be hard to see improvement, and if you're just getting started seeing improvement will help keep you from quitting.
Expensive/hard-to-get-into/hard-to-practice-regularly things like sailing or mountain climbing are probably better saved for later.
The truth is you're not learning/exploring just <whatever thing you chose>, you're learning how to build good habits, consistency, and how to go outside your comfort zone. So picking up new skills and trying new shit later on will be that much easier.
RatsLiveInPalmTrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in law school and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Ah well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine. A lot of us don't.
glovinski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
venterol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had this conversation with a neighbor last night, basically he told me "Look, it's good to have an idea of what you wanna do, but keep in mind that shit can change really fast, for better or worse. Sometimes you gotta go out on a limb and fuckin wing it."
marcm6246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep... I've kind of broken from the typical mold of society... The thing to do is go to College and then get a job... I decided I didn't want to do that, or get a conventional job. So i've been devoting my time uploading online trying to make creating videos my job. And it's building slowly. But I feel MUCH happier than I would be if I went the typical route.
CharMeckSchools ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with that. It's most probable that you won't be of that mindset for the rest of your life. Take your time.
CrazyWhovian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So long as you're self-sufficient and happy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father happened to be at the lake yesterday as I walking, and we stopped, and chatted, as we don't see much of each other. And he says, so what's going on in your life and I say, oh, you know, nothing much and he says son, you're in your 30's - when are you going to start doing stuff and I say I have a great house, I'm in a great relationship, and I have a job and I don't worry about money. I'm not sure what else I could realistically wish to happen for me at this point to which he said, well.. uh.. yeah, that's true - and then we changed the subject.
PS: I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm 31.
JBeauAuditore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm seriously stuck here now, I have a job but I'm so lost with what I really want to do ( I have no idea yet) vs. being debt the rest of my adult life. Then having a mother constantly complain when she'll have a grandchild then it's quite frustrating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I know I want a pet goat, so that's a start.
johnsom3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is something you need to figure out. It's not easy by any stretch and I agree it gets tiring hearing people constantly ask you about it, but at some point you will need to figure it out if you want to be truly happy. Just don't let people try and push you into what they want or what they think is best for you. Ultimately only you will know what is truly the thing that will fill you with passion and leave you feeling fulfilled.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Didn't go to college and as of right now I bag groceries at minimum wage. I plan on moving to a full time office job just a little before I turn 20. As of right now I'm just enjoying my life, and nobody can accept that...ever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's next?
AvatarofSleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feh, just pretend until you find something you want to do. Most my friends stumbled into their careers by trying things on until they found a fit. Some of them are still trying things on.
Bossmang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think a lot of people are in the same boat. I really don't get why reddit continually recommends people to find their passions. Sometimes, sadly, the passions don't exist or are more or less entirely unemployable.
Still, we have massive studies that have been done suggesting almost half of people dislike their jobs. I'm not really surprised by that figure and sometimes suspect that number is actually low because a good number of people have stockholm syndrome towards their work. At the same time, I'm more than happy to join that crowd for a good salary and then utilize that money to go out and make myself happy doing things that I love.
IWillNotLie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally, people pick a repeatable activity that they either like or don't dislike. Is what I do. Unfortunately, there are too many and I get confused with all the options cause none of them are better or worse ffs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I embraced it for a long time but I think its finally catching up with me. Not even that old just still clueless.
joyyeahhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, I've never have a to-do list, cause everytime I think I'm gonna be, my dad would always says that this job doesn't fits you or you'll not last long for its competitive tasks. Time after time i gave up most of my dreams
Blackwood42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never known what I want to do with the rest of my life...after 8 years of just going with it, the best plan I have is 'work out a plan'. If I can figure out what I'm doing next month I'll be happy. After that, fuck knows, but I'm closer to thirty than twenty now, and I've sorta figured out it's ok not to have a long term plan, but I really need a goal to work towards, even if it's very short term
agent_adrienne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband & I are extremely successful people in our careers, he didn't start college until age 25, I didn't know what to be when I grew up until I turned 30... it will come to you, don't sweat it. Find a passion and run with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of thinking about what you like, think about what you hate. Find something you loathe so much so that you'd be prepared to spend your life in pursuit of killing it, then go do that.
That was my thinking anyway.
FF3LockeZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the people who say they know are either lying or wrong.
Or confined to a hospital bed for the last few hours of their life, maybe, I guess.
maluta2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
CompletePlague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You never need to know what you want to do with "the rest" of your life.
Have a good plan for the next year or two, some key goals, an idea of what it would take to meet those goals, and just enough more of a plan to know how to create opportunity, and how to know when it knocks.
The rest is the magic of life.
(But don't get married and have kids unless you're sure. Begin a marriage childless and certain, and then, if you're gonna fail, fail fast and before kids. Unwinding bad decisions is hard)
betterspacewalrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PREACH, why does everyone care about my future
hotdogwoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm proud of you for being okay with that. It's means you are being true to yourself! I am 23 and some days I feel like a loser. I've hopped from job to job and home to home since I was 17. Some days I feel that's a bad thing and put pressure on myself to do something "successful". But what is success? Is it the car you own? Is it the contents of your wallet? Right now in this moment I am happy. No, I am not driving a BMW like a kid I grew up with is. But so what? Maybe I will have a BMW one day, maybe I won't. Wherever or whatever we are in 10 years will be exactly where we want to be. We are in control of our happiness and we let the universe place us properly. We are not pressured by society or family. We are our own persons and we are happy.
Thundaklutch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hugs. I feel your pain.
DJ_Roomba1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one knows. I'm guessing our generation will have at least 3-4 career changes throughout our lifetime unless you're someone who knows what career they want or already have it. It took me a while to figure it out but now i'm finally in a technology related major with great job prospects that I can see myself doing as a future career. You'll figure it out eventually :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not socially unacceptable I'd say that constitutes most people, they either don't know or they never did and they're too old to find out having got married and had kids.
I know where I want to go next but currently it is unaccessible for me to get there. It may never be available to me, but this isn't disney, we suffer and slave and expire - that's life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing what you're going to do with your life isn't important in my opinion. It's much more important to focus on getting really good at whatever you're doing now. I consider "getting good at stuff" a skill in its own right. That way, if/when you do decide what you want to do, you will have all kinds of residual skills accelerating the process.
Cheeseologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my girlfriend's unsure about her life, and my parents think it's weird.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in my early 30's, college degree, decent job, home owner, single......and I have no clue what I want to do. Maybe I just lack commitment, but looking at life and saying....I want to do this for the next 40-50 years just seems like a mundane track to live.
Xeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recognize that everyone is just as clueless, aimless and scared as you are
The life train has no breaks
Do whatever you want
Keep a roof over your head
Die
P.S. Buy milk and ice cream
Kingful ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:22:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
DeadPrateRoberts ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you do, just make sure to SAVE money. Put the money in something that makes it hard to access, like savings bonds or mutual funds. That way, it'll be hard to spend it. Just set aside $100 from every paycheck (preferably, have it automatically withdrawn, so you never even have possession of the money in the first place), and forget about it. You'll be working, figuring out what you want to do for real with your life, and all the while you're making your future and your ability to do what you want when you finally figure it out much, much more secure, smooth and worry-free. You may hate your job, but you won't leave with nothing to show for your time there.
That's what I'm doing now, and I wish I had started sooner. Even though I don't like my job, I buy $100 of company stock every paycheck. It's automatically withdrawn from my check, so it's pain-free. Also, if I want to spend it, it takes like a week from the time I sell it to the time I get a check, so it's immune to impulse buys. It's working great so far!
nitpickyCorrections ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:59:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would be a great answer if it were socially unacceptable.
MichigandergoneIowan ยท 4213 points ยท Posted at 18:10:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone.
Sure, if it's a daily or routine occurrence, or drinking massive amounts or something, maybe seek help. But if I'm going to make myself a nice dinner and watch a movie I've wanted to see for forever I'm sure gonna pour myself some wine. I had a friend drop by unexpectedly, who saw me drinking alone one night and FREAKED OUT. And I was just like, "Bitch, no wine for you."
redstarr01 ยท 496 points ยท Posted at 21:25:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drink alone occasionally and never thought anything of it for a long time. I don't see any difference between having a drink while I watch television in the evening and my husband plays on the computer in the same room and having a drink while I watch television in the evening while my husband is not home. Once a friend came by when I was having a solo drink and gave me a hard time about it. It seemed so silly.
I'd always taken the drinking alone thing not as a suggestion to not drink when you're the only one home but as a suggestion to not be the only one drinking. That makes more sense to me. It's not the being the only one present that makes booze inappropriate. It's that if you're the only one who is drinking when everyone else is staying sober, it's a sign that drinking may be inappropriate for that situation and that crowd and if you're not able to fit in with the others and opt to not drink right then either, it might be a red flag you need to notice. If the rest of your coworkers aren't drinking at lunch, maybe you ought to think twice about it if you are. If the rest of your family isn't drunk at your little nephew's birthday party, maybe you ought to consider if you should be. That kind of deal.
RobotBoysGoldStar ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 01:51:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself...
So many people never got that.
BiochemGuitarTurtle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't thought of that George Thorogood song in a long time!
HarbingerTW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thanks George.
ThrowUpandAway88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:17 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm bad to the bone. I get it.
HellaFella420 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:04:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sad that no-one got this...
MissApocalycious ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:34:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think a big part of it is actually whether the primary activity is drinking or not. For example, going out to get drinks with some friends? Sure, why not. Arguably the primary activity there is actually spending time with your friends, though. On the other hand, someone going out to get drinks by themselves is a bit more odd. Of course, going out to the bar in hopes of meeting people is also another story.
Alternatively, staying home by yourself to get drunk might be concerning to people. On the other hand, having a drink while you watch movies because you enjoy it seems fine.
Personally, I think that as long as you're not an alcoholic and it's not hurting anyone, enjoy a drink.
Myself, I'll drink alone, but even when I'm drinking in a social setting I do it more for the taste than to get drunk. I often do it slow enough I don't even get a buzz from it. I haven't been drunk in more than ten years. Since I drink fairly rarely, don't drink in large quantities, and don't get particularly intoxicated when I do it, then people who have an issue with me doing that alone (sometimes) can just deal.
BNNJ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:17:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People also need to make a distinction between drinking and getting drunk.
Seriously, why the fuck should drinking a beer be wrong ?
I like beer, so i'll have one, thank you very much. I'm not gonna get drunk. How is this any different than drinking a coke ?
ghost_victim ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:19:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but if I wanna get drunk or buzzed, I'm going to do that too. Fuck other people's rules.
MissApocalycious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you completely.
64bitHustler ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:34:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This became a slippery slope for me...already having arguably an addictive personality and then linking an enjoyable activity with an addictive substance. I was always a beer drinker and could never fathom the concept of drinking alone. I only drank in social settings. Then around 2008-ish I decided to introduce myself to wine. Whereas beer gave me this "woohoo, let's party" vibe, wine gave me a very relaxing/chill vibe, and eventually became something I found I enjoyed alone.
I started drinking wine while watching my favorite shows. This was around the time that Netflix streaming and the idea of "binge-watching" a series started to become a thing. After some time I started to associate the two things...so much so that the enjoyment of the movie or show was predicated on whether I had wine or not. I'd purposely choose what I was going to do based on whether I had any wine in the house. I'd delay watching a certain movie or show because "I want to watch that one with some wine".
Oddly enough, just channel surfing or watching something random on TV did not trigger my desire for wine. But if I was going to watch something really good or amazing that was going to envelop me intellectually, emotionally, or just make me think, I definitely had to have wine or I'd feel like my experience was "meh".
Once I realized "oh shit, I'm drinking wine damn near every night" I finally had to set some rules for myself to break the association I had with TV and wine...although I still pair a good bottle with a good season finale.
ghost_victim ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:20:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just how I want to live my life. I don't want to stop :(
rigby86 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I live my life now...I dont particularly want to stop either.
64bitHustler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I can completely relate and if you are happy and it's working do your thing. I;m just saying that I did allow myself to get out of hand. Wine wasn't destroying my life or anything, but it was preventing me from living my life as healthy as I wanted to be.
Starting each day somewhat groggy wasn't a good thing for me. It tended to set the tone for the rest of the day. Didn't pack my gym clothes, didn't pack my healthy lunch. Skipped the gym, made bad food choices. So I basically had to set limits. Instead of 6-7 days a week, cut back to weekends only. Or if I'm going to drink wine on a week night that I didn't plan to, eat extremely healthy that day and put in a kick-ass workout to earn it. Stuff like that.
I love wine and good food far too much to allow it to become an off-limits substance ;)
iselfdstruct ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to drink and play games. Every few weeks (prob once a month) I spend one of my off days half lit playing video games. I don't get hammered but I get pretty tipsy.
HairBrian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took a survey that said I am an alchoholic because I drank alone and drank to get a buzz. Bull, 10 YRS later and I'm still the same except I drink less overall and less often
BattyBr00ke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think drinking alone is usually associated with alcoholism (and rightly so) and that is actually what people have a problem with, especially people that love you.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also the key word here is occasionally. If once in awhile you go ahead and drink when you're alone it's not a problem. It's when nearly every night you find yourself drinking alone that it becomes a problem.
Edit: I meant getting hammered every night. Not just having a couple drinks
theterrordactyl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:54:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I lived alone and had a glass of wine with dinner every night that would be totally fine. If you're getting shitfaced alone that's a different story.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's obviously what I meant. If you need to get drunk every night it's a problem. I never said having a drink or two with dinner every night was.
ungulate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:57:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And why exactly is it a problem? There are hundreds of thousands of people out there, maybe millions, who live alone, dine alone, and for whatever reason, stay home alone pretty much every day.
You're only going to judge them if they have a drink?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See you're saying "a drink" what I meant to say was if you're getting drunk every night it's a problem. I should have clarified
FalsifyTheTruth ยท 1463 points ยท Posted at 20:16:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Where are you from that drinking wine by yourself is "socially unacceptable"?
Edit: I didn't read the username at first, you can stop telling me about it.
[deleted] ยท 859 points ยท Posted at 21:31:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually seen this pretty much everywhere. Some people just have this really weird idea of what it means. If I'm going to enjoy a movie on a Friday night alone, you're damn right I'm going to be opening a few beers.
Never understood the whole stigma.
CSPshala ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 22:50:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that. Every couple nights I'll have a few beers and shoot bad guys online.
My brother brings it up as a thing saying it's an alcoholic sign, despite him being the largest drinker and irresponsible consumer of drugs I know.
lordsiva1 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 23:48:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have only ever had a problem drinking alcohol with other people. When drunk all it takes is someone pointing at more booze and im at it. Downing things left right and centre. The slightest pressure to drink more would be met with me first saying no and then a second later, bottoms up. Its become an issue that ive hopefully sorted.
Alone I set my own pace and feel no need to over drink. Alcohol can make all sorts of things more enjoyable, movies to games to cleaning. Helped me get through some terrible group cinema trips thankfully. Only need one beer.
ghost_victim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:24:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One beer is like having a diet pepsi or something. I need like 3-4 to feel anything :(
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:12:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who flip over this are people who can't separate drinking and having a beer. It's unwinding, not raging until the bars close.
Jonas42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:21:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd remind him that alcoholism is about consequences, not quantity.
BeefChimi90 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:30:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Care to elaborate?
mikeellis673 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, talk about making yourself feel better!
deputyshitbat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:39:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like only on the weekend? I probably crack a few nearly every night.
msudawgs55 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:36:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah, cheers to that.
darkparts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love going to the beer shop on my way home from work and picking up a six-pack of something I've never had. I'll usually have 2-3 every evening.
DrobUWP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey guys! I found the Canadian!
darkparts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from the south...
DrobUWP ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:15:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... "beer store" though? huh..
darkparts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. I see where you got that. That's not the actual name of it. It's just a small shop downtown that carries loads of microbrews.
DrobUWP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well be thankful. I became acquainted when visiting Canada. it's government owned and fucking expensive! to the point that you might as well be drinking in a bar.
a 12-pack of domestic cans is like $25
http://www.thebeerstore.ca/beers/canadian
Tramd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shits too expensive to do that here. Would be great but I try to keep it to just a beer after work sometimes.
DrobUWP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in the US. you can get a 30-pack for like $10-15
Tramd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah! That gets you a 6 here. I don't even know if you can find a 30. A 24 is around $30.
DrobUWP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
canada? I visited once and was shocked. practically cheaper to go to a bar.
http://www.thebeerstore.ca/beers/canadian
Tramd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, although the good news I guess is that craft beer is the same price or often cheaper than the larger breweries. Going to a bar is always stupid expensive though. $6-8 for a pint that may or may not actually be a pint.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DrobUWP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can =/= should
Solesaver ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 21:49:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I can help you understand. Take it or leave it.
To most people drinking is a social activity. Alcohol is a social lubricant that can turn a fun night with friends into an awesomely fun night with friends. On the other hand, alcoholism can be a very serious issue. When it isn't enough to just drink in social settings, alcoholics need to drink more often. That is when they start drinking alone.
If it looks like you need (what is generally considered) a social lubricant even when not in social settings you look like an alcoholic.
That said, if you enjoy what you get out of drinking alone, and alcohol isn't consuming your life and thought patterns, screw social stigmas, have at it. Please just pleasantly re-assure your friends that you are fine, and that you don't need/aren't using alcohol to self-medicate other overwhelming issues in your life.
PancakesAreGone ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 22:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All that does is shows their social issues and how they deal with their anxieties of being in social situations. Which, imo, is far worse than drinking alone.
Like, let's look at it this way, some people say they need to drink in social situations to get over being nervous and no one gives a shit. How fucked up is that? You are dependent on alcohol to talk to people and have a good time? But the moment I pour a drink at home and start playing a video game, I have a problem? The fuck is with that?
I'm far more inclined to worry about people that absolutely have to drink in social situations than I am about people that drink alone or have a drink to relax.
Edit: I'm not arguing your point, I'm just stating some other angles of it.
roundaboot_ca ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:24:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you on this. People (in the US at least) apply this logic/stigma to doing lots of things alone. I spend a lot of time by myself, especially lately (recently moved to a new city). It's amazing how people to respond to my telling them all the things I do by myself: I go to movies, go out to dinner, go to museums, go to concerts, sit at a bar. People are shocked that I would dare to do these things alone.
Call me crazy but if I want to do something, I'm going to do it, even if I don't have anyone to do it with. Same goes for enjoying a bottle of wine or a few glasses of bourbon.
Doing something stupid/unhealthy/dull/boring in the company of another person doesn't make it any less stupid/unhealthy/dull/boring.
ArtyThePoopie ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:50:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking truth x100. Lately I've taken to cracking a couple beers and talking with people on skype every couple of days which I thought was fine, but a few days later one of those same friends makes an offhanded comment about "drinking alone". Like, what? Fuck you, it's one thing to have a couple beers by myself playing a video game (which is still totally fine) but I was literally sitting there talking to them, and you're gonna judge me for that? Take a fucking hike
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gregsky1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:58:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoying a drink in a social setting doesn't mean that you need to drink to enjoy a social setting any more than drinking by yourself means that you need to drink to spend time by yourself.
I think the earlier commenter is right that the perception of alcoholism exists because many people either do enjoy drinking by themselves and can't imagine doing it unless they were addicted, or because they see it as "playing with fire".
Solesaver ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:10:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm not saying it's the right mindset or anything, just the common mindset.
It's usually not that people must drink in social situations, just that it is generally viewed as a social activity. Like, the majority of people would go play putt putt with a group of people. That's not weird. If you caught someone at putt putt by themselves, you might wonder who they are with. Sure they could just enjoy putt putt, but you might find it a bit odd. That's more how most people view drinking alone, plus the added stigma of potential alcoholism (as far as we know, putt putt isn't an addicting substance, or a emotional coping mechanism.)
You're right though, if every time you got together with certain people they consistently pushed to get the 'party' started by getting the drinking going, they may be struggling with (or relishing in) alcoholism and just using the social gathering as a cover for it.
benisanerd ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:42:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, social creatures are confused by solitary creatures.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That and they don't really like drinking.
For instance, most people are gonna give me a funny look if they're at my house and I offer them a beer at 9:30am.
akashik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Night shift worker here. Try walking up to a cashier at the supermarket with a bottle of vodka at 6am in the morning. Priceless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:07 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked third for years and have no shame about it any more.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Golfing alone has become a problem for me.
GFandango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well fucking put
YabuSama2k ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:26:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While the general consensus is that it's OK for people to use alcohol as a social lubricant, I think its also just fine for people to us it as a personal lubricant by themselves.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 01:46:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DO NOT USE ALCOHOL AS A PERSONAL LUBRICANT, IT WILL DRY OUT YOUR MUCUS MEMBRANES AND CAUSE GREAT PAIN.
roundaboot_ca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you should have said something sooner................
Solesaver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I absolutely agree. I was just attempting to explain why the popular public perception is the way it is. In fact, for most people it really is a bit of projection. I know that if I am drinking alone it isn't because I enjoy drinking alone, it is because I'm stressed and/or depressed and trying to relax and forget about it, when really I should be tackling the actual problem, not the symptom.
YabuSama2k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No need to explain yourself, I was actually just attempting a double entendre. Poorly.
spasm01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
some people forget that you rarely have money to break out the good booze at parties, so you have to try new alcohols where it wont cost you an arm and a leg
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Whenever I want to have a nice bottle of craft beer, I hit the supermarket, get one for, let's say, 3 dollars and go home to enjoy it with myself while watching some True Detective. Having craft beer socially on a restaurant that sells craft beer (usually the priciest ones, btw) would cost me 3 times or more (plus the food, the service etc.).
spasm01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely! You don't have to drink alone because you're sad, could be you simply like the taste
scootstah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But nobody would bat an eye if you light up a joint by yourself.
aemoseley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it really just depends on how much you drink while alone. For me, I'm not a very social person. I don't really do the whole bar scene and I can count the amount of friends I have that do drink on one hand. So very rarely do I ever get to drink in social situations. However, when I do drink alone I rarely ever drink more than 2-3 beers at a time and I usually drink maybe once or twice a week. I also genuinely enjoy the taste of beer, so for me drinking a beer is the same as someone else drinking a Pepsi. It's just something I enjoy doing, but not because it "gets me drunk". I've only been completely drunk twice in my entire life (I'm 30 btw), and the hangover afterwards just isn't worth it. I know my limits and I know how much alcohol I can drink before it starts having an effect on me.
However, if someone is knocking back a six pack every day by themselves, then yeah I would think that person might have a problem and it might be a good idea to start checking up on that person.
Daltxpony ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:25:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beer alone on the couch with cookies and video games while my wife and son sleep is perfection.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:47:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beer and cookies? Gross.
Jonas42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Porters and stouts can work with cookies.
niuguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh A Guinness with chocolate chip cookies would be glorious
roundaboot_ca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bitch u dont no
Daltxpony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chocolate and ipa is good, better with a stout. I like chocolate chip personally with beer.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that isn't IPA improves IPA by displacing the IPA.
W_Des ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perennial 17 and thin mints.
DontYouH8Pants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:31:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always viewed it as similar to smoking alone. Either substance is considered a social one to use, but smoking alone is okay, drinking alone one in a while is always even as sad or wrong, even though it really isn't to me.
alamaias ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta say,seems to be more a colonial thing, rarely will you find anyone who cares in England. Even the theologically challenged over here aren't usually bothered by alcohol.
BlackfishBlues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's the same thing with people thinking watching movies alone is sad. Some people are very social and extroverted, to them they do everything in a group, so it seems like the only reason you'd do these activities alone is if you had no one else to do it with. They're just projecting.
I mean, introverts do it too. I see people who hang out with other people 24/7, and sometimes I automatically kind of think "man, he/she is living some kind of hell".
ASK_ME_IF_IM_YEEZUS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do that. Then I started drinking wine. You know, to be classy - on a date with myself. Then I started drinking a whole bottle of wine. Then I started drinking vodka sodas - to cut back on calories. Then just vodka. Then a bottle of vodka. Then a bottle of vodka before 4PM.
soitsmydayoff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But are you yeezus?
Apocalypseboyz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you okay now?
roundaboot_ca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of people follow this slippery slope when it comes to drinking in social situations, too. Multiple friends come to mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, yeezus.
herrbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think because it's associated with being a lowlife drunk. Obviously the two situations are very different. Buying a crate of beers to drink by yourself on a Friday night is different to a glass or two of wine.
spyker54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, i didnt even know this was a stigma in the first place
starkinmn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a girl in high school who would often drink alone just to drink alone. I think that people think it's a bad thing because of people like her who just do it because it's different than being alone and makes them happy. Drinking alongside something else as a compliment is perfectly fine.
kryptobs2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like you guys have social groups of people that are rather different from you. Nothing wrong with that, but that just not my experience at all. No one I regularly hang out with would think it's weird to drink alone at all, or do drugs alone for that matter. I don't know about everyone in my group, but we're far from alcoholics or anything, I think I've only drunk two or three times in the last month even (one of which was by myself fwiw).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People think it means you're really sad and depressed and cope with your feelings by using alcohol, or you need alcohol SO MUCH you can't wait for a socially acceptable situation to get shitfaced. In reality there are plenty of alcoholics who cover their addiction by only getting drunk in social settings (it just so happens that their entire lifestyle revolves around their bars and their drinking buddies) and plenty of nonalcoholics that like to drink alone.
I drink alone occasionally. It doesn't mean I have a problem, it just means I prefer my own company to that of a bunch of other drunk assholes.
DarrelleRevis24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you've been pretty much everywhere? I'm impressed.
Leobushido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing to do is buy a 6-pack of beer and drink 2-3 when playing with my bros online at night. It's a great recipe for a night full of laughs and unwinding, you know?
Milk_Steak_Boiled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you need new friends or social circle
Knigar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually when i finish work, will grab 2or 3 beers, get some gaming on or watch a tv show/film.
Helps wind up the day.
junkit33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you are younger. This is a weird youthful stigma that completely goes away as you get older. (Odd considering how 18 year olds love to regularly get together to binge drink, but find something off about enjoying a couple of beers by yourself at home...)
The average responsible drinking adult has absolutely no issues with having a couple of drinks by themselves while watching a game or enjoying a quiet night in.
_tacoJasper_wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find that the peer pressure of getting turned up and having a good night out causes people to drink a LOT more than they would had they been drinking by themselves.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you go out and get hammered at bars every weekend and drive drunk, well, that's okay then.
tbonemcmotherfuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very rarely ever smoke weed, but when I do its alone, every time. I should be committed.
kb2005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I'm drinking whisky right now. I worked my ass off today. I'm gonna unwind.
RemoveScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate movie theaters because they won't pause or rewind the movie for you if you have to piss or make a phone call.
one time I got up in the middle of a movie because I had to cut my grass and put my garbage out for Thursday collection. when I came back, the movie was over. when I asked about catching the next one,, they said I had to pay again.
what BULLSHIT.
wenaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much everywhere, eh?
uselessnutria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Late but I have a relevant anecdote.
I once had a housemate who was, well, not motivated to do anything at all. He quit his job as a fry cook at Red Robin's and lived off his tax return for a few months, neglecting to pay his rent in favour of smoking copious amounts of pot, watching depressing war documentaries, and drinking.
And boy did he drink. He'd come home every night with a six pack and a fifth of whatever's cheapest, showing off his 8-dollar-after-tax bottle with pride. And I live in Washington state, which has the highest alcohol taxes in the country, last time I checked.
Soon, he stopped even wanting to show his liquor off, he was so anti social. He was fired from the weekends-only, under the table job (they paid him in beer) at a local bar after two weeks for not showing up consistently. Every day, every night, his door was closed to the world. He never interacted with anyone but the bottle.
He eventually moved out so he could couch surf, avoiding rent to use the last of his money on his vices. He got another job at a pub, under the table, in which he was, again, paid in food and drink.
And he still drinks alone, avoiding all human contact he can, swirling deeper and deeper into depression.
That's the kind of "drinking alone" that is (or should be) considered unacceptable.
manlymann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a few beers a week on my porch when I get home from work. My daughter sits with me and has a snack as I unwind from a hard day.
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
probably just misconceptions about alcoholism, maybe something a little extreme their parents said that's still resonating in their head form childhood.
pantoponrosey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that it's come up because many drug/alcohol education programs use the "are you drinking/smoking/snorting alone?" as a barometer for addiction, to combat the "I only do it as a social thing" piece of denial. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of follow-up explanation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In USA, nowhere else.
tehftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It comes from not understanding what alcohol problem actually is.
Costco1L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you open them one at a time. you don't want flat, lukewarm beer, do you? (If european, disregard lukewarm)
randomchic123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's a huge deal to drink alone, I just find it boring. drinking is a social activity to me, but to each their own.
spencer707201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:56 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this thread is the first time I've heard of this.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 22:48:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UraniumSpoon ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:52:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A big difference to me is that If I'm drinking alone it's rarely to get drunk.
I'll come home from class and have a beer, because I like beer. maybe I'll have an ounce of bourbon later at night if I'm so inclined.
It's not like I drink a lot or every day, these are just things I enjoy in my free time, which I don't think is weird.
DiamineRose ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:07:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that drinking alone, at least for me, isn't about getting drunk. I just like to enjoy a glass of wine and a book after a day of soul-sucking studio classes. I actually never get drunk even with other people.
FallingDarkness ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:45:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking for myself, I hate getting drunk in public. A couple drinks work good as social lubricant, but beyond that everyone else just become noisy and irritating, and I retreat into a corner and stay quiet. I also end up feeling depressed because everyone else is having an awesome time and I'm not.
On the other hand, I love getting drunk by myself. I don't have to worry about impressing anyone, I can just put on some good music, throw back a quarter bottle of gin, and focus on all the good feelings that come with along it. I have never felt as good when drinking in public.
Before anyone tells me that I need to check into AA, I can quit drinking on a moment's notice and continue to abstain from alcohol for months on end without issue. I just enjoy drinking on my own terms.
viscence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't fundamentally disagree with you, I do think you have to balance it to give yourself time to recover. Alcohol is after all fundamentally bad for you, and being able to "quit drinking on a moment's notice" is not a helpful distinction if you only do it rarely to give yourself false peace of mind.
mishko27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You see, I don't drink by myself to get drunk. I'll have a tasty beer because I like it, or I'll make myself a cocktail for the taste. Even with people, I rarely drink to GET DRUNK. I drink because I like wine, I love all the local beer, cider is amazing and the cocktail making is an art. I tend to have 2 drinks with my dinner when going out to try the specialty cocktails at various restaurants. I mean, getting wasted is so college :D
danwroy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:44:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcoholism
DeleriumTrigger ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:01:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Michigan, and then Iowa, obviously.
FalsifyTheTruth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:05:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must have happened in Michigan cause there's nothing to do in Iowa except drink.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:18:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Masteroid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:31:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
AA is a pseudo-scientific religiously influenced organization. Not saying it doesn't help some people, but they have an agenda just like anyone else.
jerrysmiddlefinger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:54:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couple people I know that have gone through AA have gotten all preachy about finding god and judging anyone who drinks. Yes, I'm happy AA helped you. I don't care much about God and 3 beers doesn't mean I'm a raging alcoholic that's gonna go on a 3 day bender.
Jonas42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the agenda? Helping people recover from alcoholism? Because that's all I've seen from that group.
Which is not to say you're wrong about "pseudo-scientific religious" part.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:45:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it includes religious values doesn't mean it has an ulterior motive. It uses religious values because that's what they think works.
Other countries have different approaches as well. They all help to some degree.
Great_Chairman_Mao ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably college aged folk. I don't think anyone bats an eye at this after age 25.
SuperSalsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it also depends on how your family treated alcohol. Every once in a while my mom cracks open a beer for herself. My dad, on the other hand, was a full-blown alcoholic.
For some mysterious reason, I've never had a problem seeing the difference between "drinking a bit by yourself on occassion" and "having a drinking problem."
Groundloop ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:14:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm Canadian and my house mates during college would freak out if they walked into my room and saw me drinking beers while I was studying.
Mostly because I didn't ask them to join me but hey there's an answer for ya.
Osricthebastard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:40:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really depends on how a person was raised. Some people were raised with this irrational idea that drinking alone was like the single most alcoholic act you could possibly commit right before drinking during the day.
In a similar vein I've gotten pretty ugly looks buying alcohol at 8 in the morning when I've shown up to the store in my work clothes, clearly dirty from a long graveyard shift. It didn't matter that this was my night time and that I was just going to have a few beers before bed. In their mind "OMG ARE YOU REALLY DRINKING BEFORE 6pm?!"
Fuck of it is, when you have to go to work at 10pm, drinking at 6pm would actually be the irresponsible choice, not drinking at 8am. But people can get really irrationally stuck on some things when it comes to substances.
Doctor420blazeit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:36:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a lot of people just expect overnight workers not to drink because they'd only be able to drink in the mornings or during the very early part of the day (i.e. before noon), and most people dislike the idea of drinking so early. I know I myself do because it sounds really fucking gross.. I couldn't imagine doing shots of vodka at eight am, but that's because eight am is eight am for me, and I'm grouchy and tired and barely out of bed at that point.
People forget that your body adjusts to working hours like that, so it might as well be night time for your body. Your body doesn't care what the fuck the clock says, especially when it's functioning on an atypical sleep schedule.
wizwam83 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:20:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Wisconsin. You're weird if you don't drink here.
FalsifyTheTruth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm aware. Currently a junior at UW:Madison typing this in my on campus apartment.
niuguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chicago too! Friends visit from California and its like baptism by fire.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Winconsin sounds great I want to come for a holiday. A beer holiday.
Whiskey_Fighter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking wine alone is more socially acceptable than say half a bottle of liquor.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:21:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is stupid. Three of the four legitimate alcoholics I have in my life were/are wine drinkers (3 recovered, 1 relapsing. The relapse is a wino).
Addiction doesn't give a damn what your preferred substance is, it just keeps you from seeing limits.
Whiskey_Fighter ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:28:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's classy alcoholism!
NickRick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rehab.
scampbe999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Michigan and/or Iowa.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the literature for alcoholism it's one of the indicators so I think people put a lot of focus on that but it's only telling when paired with other indicators like obsessive drinking.
peripheral-visionary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just cultural. I've come across that before and I know a few people who won't drink alone. They certainly enjoy a drink or ten when other people are there tho.
isthistaken- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's literally his/her username
evoic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:25:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you able to see their user name or is that information blocked on your screen? Seems a tad bit informative and a decent giveaway.
BetaZetaSig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Michigan?
GentlesirNeckbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read the username
Red-Duke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
USA and very likely a southern state.
Edit: I live in Alabama and have seen the stigma personally.
Didymos_Black ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone is stereotype behavior of alcoholics.
BraveSirRobin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK it's against the rules for a commercial to show someone drinking alone in any context. It's frowned upon in drama shows and only used as a statement for hitting rock bottom. You won't see a normal well-adjusted person enjoy a drink on their own.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of people see "drinking alone" on those shitty lists that are supposed to be signs of a drinking problem, and don't realize that it's only a problem when paired with things like depression, neglecting responsibilities, binge drinking etc... so they see you having a nice fifth of dirt vodka in an alley and assume you have some sort of "problem". Whatever man, I think you have a problem!
Pygmy_Yeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Michigan and Iowa
TtarIsMyBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend thinks I'm super weird if I ever even talk about drinking alone...
I'm not always out to party, and having a nice buzz while chilling around the house is damn nice.
lolskaters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to guess either Michigan or Iowa
su5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ya man I drunk a whole bottle of tequila to the dome, but Frank is the alcy, motherfucker drinks alone"
papayakob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an Iowan, I'll guess Michigan.
Jeevadees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like that among people I know in Canada.
youre_a_baboon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a big difference between having a few beers by yourself and getting blackout drunk on your own on a regular basis. I partake in the former while my brother the latter. He's an alcoholic but nobody will deal with it so for the time being we ignore it and hope he doesn't injure himself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason people think that alcohol can only be used in social situations or you're an alcoholic. I generally find the opposite to be true... I know a lot of people that disguise their drinking problems as "being social".
Stephen1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the reason there is a stigma is because people who drink alone are not simply social drinkers so are probably drinking more frequently than is healthy.
A very large amount of people drink well over their recommended daily units of alcohol without realising it. Its become a bit like smoking, people just realise that its really not good for you to be having a few glasses of wine with a film each evening.
HonestWill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Utah probs
imisstheyoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should probably read his username..
NarwhalingBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I think it's definitely a regional thing.
I've been living for a few years in a region with a different culture from my own and I've picked up a lot of the habits of the locals. Drinking alone or drinking during the day is very normal here. I got so used to it that when I travelled outside of the area for the first time in two years, I noticed I was getting weird stares from others when I ordered a pint of stout at lunch. Sometimes when I'm with people I don't know so well they look shocked or make "haha alcoholic" jokes if I order a beer or any form of alcohol if it's early in the day. From my experience, the only people who have found it weird have been Americans and English Canadians. I've never had Europeans, Quebeckers, Asians, etc say anything to me.
Owenleejoeking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Michigan or Iowa
SpazasaurusREX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Drinking alone" has long been a bullet point for the checklist for alcoholism but it is by no means exclusively an indicator, though some people naively think it is.
taraalma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least in Mexico it is socially unacceptable.
vanguard_DMR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty common. I like to occasionally drink a little whiskey and play video games. My friends think it's 'sad and weird'. But it's somehow okay if I smoke a joint and play video games. Go figure
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my country you're either an introvert or an alcoholic if you drink alone.
meowmeowsss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canada some people consider it, my parents sure do, I don't, I enjoy my own company.
Sirtriplenipple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the few things people from Ohio and Michigan agree upon!
get_0n_your_knees ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:41:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he's only 12 and the friend was his mom
Observante ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:55:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's that way in my area too. We had a lady circumvent this at our restaurant by bringing her child.
Her unborn child.
hezwat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:41:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Everywhere, man. This is like the first and only question you ask to figure out if someone is an alcoholic. "Do you ever drink by yourself? .. Oh, okay." (Note to self: Chad is an alcoholic.)
Well, all right - there's a bonus question: "Do you ever drink until you black out?" but it's mostly to confirm what you already know based on question 1, that Chad is a fucking alcoholic. Everyone knows his answer is going to be "Whenever I have a chance!"
_Dotty_ ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 22:05:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find that people who are afraid to drink alone have alcohol consumption habits that they're personally afraid of. They use going out with friends to drink as an excuse to get drunk or as long as they're not drinking alone, they don't have a problem.
Do I like drinking alone? Absolutely, I don't have to share. Do I have an alcohol problem? Absolutely not. Do I stop at the bar when I've had a bad night at work? Yep. Do I get so drunk that I can't drive myself home? Nope. Just a beer or two to take the edge off.
theMaynEvent ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:33:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree with you here on people being judgmental because of their own personal fears of drinking alone.
I've almost constantly got a bottle of whiskey on reserve in case I just feel like having a grand time to myself. I work from home, and during the week I rarely have any reason to leave the house anyway. If the mood strikes, sometimes I'll have a shot or two, other times I may dip into it like I would on a night with friends.
Usually the people who get on my case are A) people who just don't drink much if at all in the first place, or B) people who are kind of irresponsible and reckless with their drinking even when they're out drinking with other people.
_Dotty_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:04:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what the great Jesus Christ said "day drinking is totally rad bro."
JenWrath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed to a large extent. Ex-bestfriend was terrified to get drunk by himself. Poor man has a lot of demons that he tries to numb with the stuff, but his attempts to check out for a night were always far worse if he spent the night by himself with some Jameson. We both knew he was scared he'd drown himself in liquor if he was left alone.
Outwardly at bars and parties, he was the one always bragging about how much he could drink and insisted on being a "life of the party" kind of guy, without naturally being that way.
fuckmyeyes ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is partly true. I would never drink alone and I think it is weird when people do. The reason I would never drink alone is because the only time I drink is if I'm planning on getting drunk. I don't understand drinking alcohol if you're not going to get drunk. When I was younger, I would get drunk at least once a week, usually two or three times a week though. Now that I'm older, I only drink alcohol once a month at most, probably more like once every couple months. I would never get drunk by myself ... that doesn't seem fun at all. I would just fall asleep. I don't even like to get drunk if there are only two of us. Drinking is a group activity in my book.
That being said - I don't eat healthy, I just eat whatever I want. Cookies for breakfast? Totally fine with me. I'm not fat because I keep track of calories. So I don't waste calories on things like pop, juice or alcohol. I just drink water. Drinking a beer for no reason seems like a waste of calories to me.
_Dotty_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:04:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking to get drunk is fine when you're celebrating something or just in good company. Even if you're drowning your sorrows but I mainly drink alcohol because I love the taste. Beer is one of the greatest hobbies ever. There's so many different kinds of beer to try and they all taste different. I think of it more like a poor man's wine. There's millions of different breweries from around the world and they all make different styles of beer. I'll probably never get to try every beer in the world but that's not going to stop me from trying.
I kind of think of it like cookies. I don't really like sweets at all but man do I love a good beer. People treat themselves in different ways. Beer is just my treat.
fuckmyeyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:19 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand that. I don't think there is anything actually wrong with someone drinking a beer just for the sake of drinking a beer... It's just not something I do, so I don't really understand it. That doesn't make it wrong though and I don't think I would even notice if I walked into someone's house and they were drinking a beer all by themselves, unless they made a comment and pointed it out that they were 'drinking alone'.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:34:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love drinking by myself. I never get to do it anymore though...but man, I loved putting in my ear buds, drinking and, believe it or not, cleaning. Also, video games and detailing my car.
wrathofnero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah! Gimme a six pack and I can make that floor shine!
ahhter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working on vehicles requires alcohol. I have no idea how professional mechanics do it sober.
FicklePickle13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Money, I think.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes, beer and gaming. If you ever see me on a CSGO map/battle, be sure I already had a few. But beware, my friend. My trigger is always sober.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 21:41:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I personally love drinking alone. Girlfriends out, long hard week, nothing to do but relax....
I love kicking back and getting sloshed to a favorite movie or TV show...it's relaxing, fun, and I feel ally of stress wash off when I'm chilling and collecting my thoughts.
People that freak out at the idea of drinking alone are probably more prone to alcoholism than we are because they don't understand a mature form of self control.
Edit - I'd like to add that the idea that it's somehow acceptable to get hammered at a bar or party where you're chances of collateral damage are much higher rather than in your home where your safe and probably not going anywhere is a concept that has always confused me....
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:33:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's an age thing? When you are younger drinking alone is associated with problems, it's mostly a social activity. As you get older, alone time or free time becomes a moment of peace to enjoy whatever you like. And if you like having a drink or even a few it shouldn't be a problem. Of course moderation is the key.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:51:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I agree. I've noticed recently that parties are high tempo bars are just not my thing anymore. If I want to drink with other people, it's with close friends on the patio of our neighborhood bar where I can walk home safely, or its grilling burgers with friends and family at one of our houses. Drinking is a freeing experience for me, it's a way I relax because I know my obligations are taken care of, my week is winding down, and I can just melt into a chair and fuck. ing. chill......
Sometimes that's alone. I relish those moments...just me, my favorite beer, my favorite show streamin on the PS4, and not giving two fucks what anybody thinks cause it's me-time.
To directly address your question....I dunno when it happened. Age-wise I mean. I think it was some time I was in a club or a party and it was about 10:30 and I looked around and just thought....I don't want to be here anymore. So I want home, cracked a beer and threw on some American Dad, and realized I was fucking criminally content.
Guess that's what growin up feels like...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:44:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. It's great sometimes to just sit on the patio by myself and drink. Get a really good buzz going and just relax. No noise. No people pressuring you to drink more. So good.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda replied to you too when I replied to U/-DinosaurX-
iamsnoboarderx113 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im in my early 20s and one of my favorite activities is to sit out on the front porch after a long day of work by myself with a 6 pack, my bluetooth speaker and computer and just drink beer, listen to my favorite music and reflect and let my mind wander and do what it will while I relax and unwind. I don't get to do it as much as I used to but I am currently on the porch now and enjoying myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen to that. Drink one for me! Two or three if you get around to it :D
dreadnoght ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are more prone to alcoholism because they are typically more sensitive to it. They genetically have less Alcohol dehydrogenases that can break it down. Some people get sun burnt, some people get thrashed.
jimbojangles1987 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:00:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is this way. If I get off work early at 2pm or so and feel like having a goddamn glass of whiskey, that doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic or possibly on drugs or in need of help.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen brother preach it. Can't have a glass of whisky without sneaking it out of the hall.
ashcore ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:38:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy drinking a couple glasses of wine by myself. I think the idea of it being unacceptable for me personally stems from school programs like DARE. If you drink for any reason, alcoholic, by yourself, check into rehab.
intheabsenceoftruth ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:44:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often have a glass of whisky after my day, and more times than not, it ends up me having 2/3 before bed. Is this bad? I'm quite concerned now.
fishing_pole ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:15:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a glass or two of wine pretty much every night, and like you I'm really not sure if it's a problem or not. I'd say that, in a way, it is definitely a psychological addiction but one that I feel I could break fairly easily. Maybe we should take a month off just to prove that to ourselves.
claryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a break was good for me. I think I could have slid into something bad if I didn't. I was having kind of a boring in-between period of my life and was drinking 3 glasses of wine or so a night. I didn't think it was a problem until my life started to get busier I thought "I won't drink anything tonight, I should be productive," then the end of the day would roll around and I would think "Eh no, I want to."
After a few days of that I thought okay, time for a definite break before this may become an issue. And it actually was pretty damn difficult to stop for a while, so it was the best call for me.
XxWITHAMxX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:14:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, this is my routine. Working in construction requires daily alcohol consumption. Or any job that your boss is a dick hah
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Absolutely not. It's only an issue if you start having health problems or start having issues in your personal life because you're drinking and can't do other things/personality issues when you drink. I probably have a beer and a glass of whiskey (or two) 5-6 nights a week and I have no issues with it. I'm never an asshole, I don't do it if it will interfere with things I need to do, I never drink and drive, my wife has never raised a concern, etc.
Don't worry so much.
Brym ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:48:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be concerned if you notice that you're progressively drinking more and more. When you can't remember the last time the glass didn't turn into 2 or 3. When your pours are getting heavier and heavier, such that the 3 glasses you had last night would have equaled six of the glasses you had last year.
acidrainfall ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:15:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My partner doesn't drink so I'm frequently drink "alone", I enjoy a glass of scotch most days and I don't see anything wrong with it.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:17:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you shouldn't. What scotch are you drinking?
acidrainfall ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:51:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right now I've got Oban 14 and Macallan Director's Edition (a year less vintage). If you can find the Macallan (Costco is where I get it) you won't regret it. Smooth and oaky and wonderful.
DrobUWP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
now that's more like it! nothing like a nice single malt of at least 10-12 years. I'm currently working through a Glenlivet 12 and a Glenmorangie 10 (prefer the latter)
maybe it's just where I'm from that it seems normal to enjoy a quality drink alone, but that guy's friend seems like the odd one here.
I did have a roommate in college who went through no less than 3 30-packs a week of cheap beer. now that guy had a problem
acidrainfall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that he drank 3 30-packs a week - not that he drank them alone. Haha.
DrobUWP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, people drinking with him just accelerated it. like 20+ in a night on the weekend. wasn't that big of a guy either
acidrainfall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?! Is he... Alive?
colliemayne ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:29:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not weird. Your friend is weird.
theotterone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:08:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have such a problem with this! Not with people judging me, but with me thinking that I'm going to become an alcoholic overnight because I have a rum and coke on a Tuesday night on my own. Doesn't help that I have alcoholism on both sides of my family so I'm hyper aware of it, even though I never have more than one drink, even on weekends.
I think the worry and anxiety is a bigger problem than the behavior itself.
omegakill ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood the problem with this, like sometimes I'll have a frozen pizza from a local shop which is just a quick 10 minute oven job, and i'll crack open a beer because they go well together, no issue what so ever!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is no problem with this. How do people not understand that the stigma is against getting drunk alone, not have a drink alone.
ExternalIllusion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that response.
Joessandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think that it was weird to drink alone, but I also have alcoholism in the family so I'm hyper-aware. I would occasionally have some wine or beer by myself but generally wouldn't drink unless I was with friends. Then I started getting home from work and stopped wanting to make the effort to go out and spend a lot of money. Now I drink at home all the time and am perfectly content to enjoy a beer while watching TV or doing my boring housework.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't get shitfaced by myself every night without cracking a few beers! Right?
...right...?
sobs
DingoManDingo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:05 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
Fuck off
neiljt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, that way, all the more for you, eh?
sothatshowyougetants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually only ever drink wine by myself. I think the people who get concerned are those who themselves cannot drink for any other reason aside from getting drunk. And I'm the one with a problem because once a week I have a glass of wine while I take a bath? Get outta here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ninjette847 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even consuming hard liquor alone is fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ninjette847 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. I mean, if you're sitting around drinking from the bottle it is but if you pour a normal drink it really isn't any different than pouring a glass of wine.
RoxasTheNobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drink alone. When I feel like it. 10:00? Fuck it. Haven't slept yet.
RikaMX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you telling me that if I tell people I like to take out a six pack on a friday night to play halo they are going to judge me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not drinking alone if your dog is at home.
Allysquad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking a case of beer while playing games online with your friends on a saturday has always been a sort of ritual for me.
ejambu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in New Orleans and this is very normal. I drink by myself. I have a beer or a glass of wine when i get home from work. If my boyfriend isn't home, I'm always drinking alone. Never thought it was weird.
Manami_Tamura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
Every morning just before breakfast
I don't want no coffee or tea
Just me and good buddy Wiser
That's all I ever need
'Cause I drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
The other night I lay sleeping
And I woke from a terrible dream
So I called up my pal Jack Daniel's
And his partner Jimmy Beam
And we drank alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
The other day I got invited to a party
But I stayed home instead
Just me and my pal Johnny Walker
And his brothers Black and Red
And we drank alone
Yeah, with nobody else
Yeah, you know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
Yeah, my whole family done give up on me
And it makes me feel oh so bad
The only one who will hang out with me
Is my dear Old Grand-Dad
And we drink alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
ryewheats2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know man, drinking alone just seems like a REALLY bad idea. Why do you need alcohol if you are alone? You are just damaging your body in many ways... I save alcohol for the times when it really helps to be socially uninhibited. I have some friends who drink alone and 90% of them have been borderline alcoholics all the years I've known them. You should do whatever the hell you want man don't get me wrong! But maybe a sub for alcohol might be something you want to look into.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember the first time I got drunk alone... I had just lost my job and I downloaded a fuckload of South Park and I drank beer and watched hours of South Park in the middle of the summer.
It was great.
baconwaffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I'm a grad student, so I drink alone frequently. It's a great way to unwind after a long day, particularly if I worked and had class. I don't get trashed mind you, but I wouldn't be opposed to that after a really rough day every once in a great while.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The stigma is against getting drunk alone, not having a drink alone.
spinnaker989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dropping by a friend's place unexpectedly should be a way bigger faux pas than drinking wine alone
kabes811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite part of the night is unwinding with the AC on, the TV and a beer. Today I floated in my pool by myself with a nice shandy and was happier than a pig in shit.
Ryuksapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If drinking alone is wrong then I don't want to be right
HeDoesntAfraid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or drinking in the morning or for lunch. FFS its not like Im getting drunk for the whole day. I like having just 1 good beer ><
derfalicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well its difficult to fit another person and a beer in my shower with me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love drinking when alone, it makes drinking craft beer so much more relaxing.
TheTynosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, drinking alone is unacceptable?! Sometimes on weekends I would mix myself some drinks and just watch a movie or something in my dorm room alone and those are some of the most relaxing nights I've had
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drink alone everyday but it's mostly because my kids don't drink. Cheers!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, I like trying out new whiskies alone. I pour myself a glass, fire up a movie, and get slowly basted all afternoon and go to bed happier than a clam around 9 pm. This isn't very often, maybe once every couple of months when I throw down some scratch for a bottle.
sharkcrayons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of this. I regularly have a wine on my deck after work and I've never thought of it as unusual. Maybe if I drank two or four bottles and passed out in a pool of my own wine vomit, but I hardly ever do that.
vtxinfinityv4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! "Bitch, no wine for you." Love it!
EmeraldGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fuck them.
The 40 minutes a week that I get alone in the tub with a mimosa single-handedly preserves my sanity.
33mmpaperclip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing quite like having a beer and listening to the radio on my patio after working in the yard all Sunday morning.
Alphax45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-drink-alone-lyrics-george-thorogood.html
que_pedo_wey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/drunk
Loving_Echos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should've been like.. birch this wine is for you, drink it or leave.
Ya know, to mellow her out a bit
Pandaura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume all my friends drink alone at times...
mathjokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey drinking alone is better than just being alone, right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: OP is 11.
JesusChronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was that in Michigan or Iowa?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the other side, I don't drink, and don't really have a desire to going forward, and people think that's weird.
AchillesHighHeel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I almost always drink my bottles alone at home. I hate sharing!
PM_ME_UR_COCK_GIRL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure by now the thread is full and over, but I love drinking alone. Prefer it, really. It's one of the few times I can be with myself :)
HowIsntBabbyFormed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wine's not my drink, but I'll definitely have a beer alone with dinner (or without). Never would have thought of it as weird.
WantToSeeMyUvula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.
TeutonJon78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think anyone really has a problem with the "had one drink with dinner" or sitting down (unless someone does it literally every night, then it's getting a little more borderline). It's more the "I get buzzed or drunk by myself" that's a problem.
LinkChef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know this wasn't socially acceptable. Take that social norms!
cuddlygiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once I had a glass of red wine with dinner on a Wednesday and my roommate freaked out. "How could you drink on a weekday...?" I don't understand his mentality....
ashcmills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good job... I bet she won't be acting all judgemental again any time soon!
Schrute_Farms194509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten to the point where I have 2 or 3 beers almost every night after work as my daily routine to unwind...is this bad? I'm legitimately worried that this isn't okay now and I don't want to continue a trend that will lead me down the path to alcoholism.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well wait, hold on. I mean, I'm here now so like, neither of us would be drinking alone anymore!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah. Nothing beats sitting down after a long ass day with a cold.beer and some PlayStation.
DownTrunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I drink alone like it's an Olympic sport. I don't even care. No one can judge me if no one can see me.
dont_wear_a_C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They always speak of my drinking, but never my thirst"
fireengineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But, but, what if I have a beer or glass of wine every night with dinner, and I live alone?
12Valv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never drink alone. It's always me and my buddies Jack D., Jim B., and Johnnie Walker.
IAMA_Ghost_Boo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone watching a baseball game and browsing reddit on my phone got me laid one night.
imnotliontoyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you.
xoxostarmanxoxo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've said that exact thing for a very similar situation.
Gold for youu! <3
tsuki_toh_hoshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, I enjoy some wine and a movie
Neutral_Gender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I first heard about the whole drinking alone stigma when I was in high school which, at that age, is kind of a good stigma to avoid. Maybe the stigma persists into our Adult life as some sort of vestige from high school? From back when it had a purpose but now no longer applies? There's a difference between having a couple of beers alone when your underage to having a couple of beers alone after work as an adult. Or am I just a hypocrite?
DraculasTaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to get piss drunk. I'm high functioning. Not all alcoholics have problems/are rage enducers. Some are unhappy, some are better drunk than sober (polarizing opinion here come the pitchforks) Smh. Of course it's poison but I'm not hurting anyone else.
extant1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm enjoying some scotch while I catch up on shark week.
Drink on people.
hajjr6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're sharing a drink they call loneliness , but it's better than drinking alone.
Sbeeez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't associate yourself with those kind of people. Solo wine night is the shit, yo. +1 if it's solo wine night with your cat
SASColiflowerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think theres a massive difference between drinking and getting hammered. I love a gin and tonic after a long day
jhutchi2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think beer is delicious. After a long day of work I'll absolutey have a beer or two with dinner.
Spooky_Pigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. To add to this, I also don't see the big deal about drinking alone at a bar. Again, within reason. I love the atmosphere of my favorite bar/s and love to just relax there with a drink.
Besides, I've also met all sorts of people when I go alone. If I go with friends I don't meet anyone new. Additionally, I also get bought free stuff all the time. I'm a straight male and most seem as though they can't even comprehend this, but...many don't go grab a drink alone. I've gotten top shelf scotch. For free.
tallasiandude99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, drinking before 5pm. I work hard and long days, so on my days off I might pour some Bailey's into my coffee at noon or something. I feel I deserve it, and it's my day off damnit!
Crymson831 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend should learn the difference between drinking alone and getting drunk alone. Personally, I don't have an issue with someone doing the latter, within reason.
SSJwiggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy a nice beer while playing a game by myself after work.
xxxxNateDaGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds perfectly reasonable. Glass of wine with dinner and a movie is fine.
Jaegerbombs on my birthday when my roommate is out and I'm home alone, however...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Fuck that guy.
Odyrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that you said, "maybe".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to always smoke pot alone. Never drank until I was an adult, but now I drink alone too.
If I work, cook, clean, study, raise my daughter and spoil my wife, I don't think a drink at the end of my day is undeserved. People hear "drinking" and "alone" and fill the gap with a whole bunch of non sense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only Americans are like this from my experience, and not all obviously.
[deleted] ยท 4262 points ยท Posted at 14:59:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being alone. I don't get to do it enough, so I adore being alone.
[deleted] ยท 2291 points ยท Posted at 17:42:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 802 points ยท Posted at 17:53:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true! Being alone is heavenly. Being lonely sucks, and you can do it both alone, or while incessantly surrounded by people that you wish would just leave you alone.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well in my case, it's not just being surrounded by people whom you want to leave you lone. It's being surrounded by people whom you don't fit in with.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:25:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." - Robin Williams
Forlurn ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:51:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great quote, but just because a character that Robin Williams played said it doesn't mean it's his quote.
Bobcat Goldthwait is the one who it should be attributed to.
And World's Greatest Dad is an awesome movie.
BlaikeMethazine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, and I love that movie too. But somehow just putting
"-- Bobcat Goldthwait"
seems wrong too.
Forlurn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, you're right. After looking into it I think that the best way to write it would have been:
"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." - Robin Williams as Lance Clayton, World's Greatest Dad
I don't think it's really necessary to say that it was Bobcat who wrote it, but it wouldn't hurt to add it afterwards.
Porthello ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. I'm in this situation right now, with friends inviting me sometimes but mostly leaves me out of their plans. Sometimes I think that I would be better off without them, so I could avoid the feeling of being excluded.
skydreamer303 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think thats what thoooper was saying with "people you wish would leave you alone". its a very good way of putting it... you're lonely so you wont leave what little social circle you have but deep down you wish theyd just leave you instead.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand, and I did feel that way; moreover, when I was surrounded with these people, I yearned to be better friends with them, but they were such good friends with each other already that I could never hope to get into the circle.
saga999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing makes me feel lonelier than being with a group of people I don't fit in with and don't want to be with. Being alone makes me feel free.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mind = Blown Wooosh pffffttt
Edit: that's the smoke sounds
krakajacks ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:39:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are many people in this world who prefer solitude, but none who can withstand it.
-Master Makarov (Fairy Tail anime)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a beautiful quote
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
of course solitude will impact life
RedRoronoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love me a good anime quote, which reminds me I should catch up to that series huh..
krakajacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a great show. The story is pretty straight forward with a few good twists, but the action is fantastic and the humor is awesome. I highly recommend it (but follow a filler guide because the fillers are terrible and you want to skip them)
thelastNerm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:05:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recently divorced, I have found the fine line between 'solitude', which is enjoyable, and 'loneliness' ,which is not
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking you nailed it here.
MayonnaiseJones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I feel down or a little lonely, I take a deep breath, and go do WHATEVER the f*ck I want, WHEN I want. Enjoy it while you can!
4seamerdreamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Fucking. Said.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i love being alone but I'm forever lonely and in fear it will always be like this. sigh.
Blackwood42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're lonely for long enough, you get used to it..then it's just normal
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel u
poduszkowiec ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. That's weird. I'm not alone at all, but I feel very lonely. That's weird, Isn't it? ;)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
makes perfect sense to me, I'm alone and lonely :(
joyyeahhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm alone I feel lonely. Miss my friends
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you brah
sajimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment should get more upvotes than the original!
joyyeahhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
absolutely
sewingself ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:26:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!!! If I choose to be alone I'm perfectly happy, but if I'm alone because I have no friends/don't know anyone, I'm lonely.
Snuzzlebumble ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:40:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I feel more lonely at a party than I do playing Rollercoaster Tycoon in my underwear at 5am.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:48:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just started my first post college job and just learned this distinction. In all my 22 years, I have never felt home sick or lonely. Back in my apartment, while I was rooming with friend said, I still appreciated vast amounts of alone time.
Now I live by myself in a new city with no friends around, my parents just moved across the country, and my best friend is moving across the country for grad school.
This is the most alone I have ever felt.
Denzos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An episode of scrubs made me realize the difference.
Sorry on mobile
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bExo_DpfokI
Jablon15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, me as an example, I used to always be out doing stuff with friends. Something was always happening. I used to pray for a couple days to my self to just me alone.Friendships ended, others moved away and we all grew up. Recently I've alone a lot now wish I had friends that I can do something with.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But both are okay. If you can't handle some loneliness then you'll have problems.
Didymos_Black ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to be alone to feel lonely.
FNX--9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am always lonely, even when I am the center of attention at a party
nutsallover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im rarely alone but constantly feel lonely. Definitely a big difference.
Shaasar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Loneliness & Solitude both mean being alone, but are negative and positive sides of the same coin
Top_Wop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Robert DiNero's famous line from the movie "Heat".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well lonely is something you feel I'm introverted so it can be irritating when others supposedly get lonely and seem to think they are entitled to my presence.
AlmostButNotQuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a lot better than being surrounded by people all the time but feeling absolutely no connection to them whatsoever....
jikzpmtt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TimV55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So lonely but never alone Old modest mouse lyrics
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why the words "solitude" and "loneliness" exist.
Hoihe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC one of the Apollo astronauts said the same.
maracusdesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love being alone, but I hate feeling lonely. This is my biggest reason for wanting to move into a bigger apartment and get a roomie.
DisRuptive1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being lonely in a crowd is a horrible feeling.
Look_At_That_OMGWTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And being lonely doesn't require being alone, I've found.
Sync0pated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted for your edit, thought you should know buddy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kays.
Shirghazaytiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AFewStupidQuestions ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:12:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That reminded me of this video. It's worth a watch if you have the chance.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was really apt. I wish I could do some of these things, I live in a rural no where town so there's no benches, few restaurants and the closest place to go dancing is over an hour away!
Ponsh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:25:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck your edit, man, we don't give a shit what your pussy ass top comment is, shut the fuck up.
No, but really, it's super annoying.
[deleted] ยท 662 points ยท Posted at 15:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 18:38:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheNerdyNegro ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:41:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did it when Terminator Genisys opened. Wife was out of town. Decided. Fuck it. I'm fucking 36. What the actual fuck. It was great. I sat right up front middle. Second row.
I got a taste of freedom.
misteryin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:21:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But how bad was the movie?
rikutoar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't think it was that bad. I wouldn't be giving it any awards but it was a pretty good time out watching people shooting machines, which is what we want from something like terminator isn't it?
misteryin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah sort of. I'm also looking for a story that meshes well with the other terminator movies, but the third one was a disappointment and I thought the 4th was just meh.
rikutoar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't watched the old ones in like 10 years so yeah idk about that, I actually spend the first hour or so playing catch up :/ but I've heard people talking about it as a decent sequel to T2 so maybe you'll be algood. Although if you do decide to watch it stay away from the 2nd trailer. Spoilers everywhere.
TVCasualtydotorg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:41:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very.
MichelangeloDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Id did the same thing except I have no wife.
BenandoahValley ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:39:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to see a movie alone for the first time a couple weeks ago. It made me very nervous at first, in my head I tried to act like I was meeting people that were already in.
Once I got in, I went to a seat I wanted to sit in, rather than ask the person I would have been with where they would like to sit, or if this seat was fine.
I treated myself to popcorn and a drink. I loved the experience. 10/10, will do again.
RealDongDonuts ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:53:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to a concert alone Wednesday, as in introvert i'm excited, yet intimidated.
domochomo ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:49:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just did this a few weeks ago for Neutral Milk Hotel, was amazing. I got all the feels I was hoping for, no scrambling to find people mid show because they went to the bathroom or the bar so you end up missing your favorite songs. I'm an introvert by nature, so I didn't say a word to anyone there and just enjoyed myself.
Sporkfortuna ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:37:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do they still play the entirety of Aeroplane spread out over the whole show with sprinkles of the other stuff every few songs?
domochomo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally, and it was an absolute treat. If they're ever in Boise again I know I'm going.
hiloljkbye ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this. It's actually better IMO. The experience was more personal for me and it was all about the music. Would recommend doing this if it's your favorite band.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had this experience! Went to see my favorite band ever, the Smashing Pumpkins alone. It was awkward at first, but then they started playing and I got lost in the music. It was beautiful. I didn't have to worry about losing someone in the crowd or whether or not they were having a good time. It was my favorite concert ever. I actually got goosebumps thinking about it as I wrote this. Have fun :D
poduszkowiec ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:45:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an introvert myself and I've done that many times since my friends are not really into live music and I must say it fucking sucks. Now I miss a lot of the cool shows in my city because I hate going alone I have nobody to go there with. :(
SuperSalsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go to concerts alone a lot. How fun it is really depends on who's playing. It doesn't really even correlate with genre, just the general crowd vibe.
My advice for anyone wanting to try this is to do it with small-scale concerts first. I find those are generally more fun to go to alone than big concerts, along with being less overwhelming in general. My first alone-concert was Electric Six, and it was fucking amazing.
jeffhlewis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The older I get, the less fucks I give about doing this. I don't have to beg a friend to come see a band they may or may not like, I don't have to cater to anyone else, and once the music starts it's not like you're missing out on amazing conversations with the friends you would have brought. Grab a beer and get to the front of the crowd and rock out.
S1ayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a huge symphonic metal and prog metal fan, i've been going to concerts alone for the past 10 years.
Posada2020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Been to a few by my self. You get to sit where you want and who really talks to other people while the concert is going on anyways? Great fun is always had.
TVCasualtydotorg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love going to shows alone. Sure, you don't have the shared experience and the excited deconstruction of the set on the way home, but you also get to not worry about whee to meet after the set, rounds and trying to talk over the din between bands.
jbg89 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol will help.
TheRealMrsDoubtfire ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:08:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always felt uncomfortable doing things like this by myself. Spent some time in a very hot place on a deployment. There was a movie theatre on base that was nice and cool. Id have 1 and a half days off per week, couldnt really leave base so id go to the theatre and watch whatever was playing during the entire 1 and a half days every week. Just 1 screen, but luckily they changed the movies up quite a bit. I probably watched 100 movies in that theatre by myself and now its my preferred way to go to the movies. When my GF goes out of town, its something I usually do. Side note, I watched Grown Ups 2 around 10 times on the deployment. Around the 7th time I actually started to enjoy it.
PerfectLogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your last sentence had me cracking up. One service member to another, thanks for doing what you did and putting up with what ya had to. Glad ya made it back to complain about Sandler flicks like the rest of us. Lol.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:48:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
meatotheburrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it was actually a good movie if you hadn't read the book first. I watched Ender's game, loved it, and was inspired to immediately go and read the book. When I went back to the movie afterwards it paled in comparison, but I still felt like they did a good job for a two hour movie.
chicklette ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its the greatest! You pick when you get there, where you sit, no one hogs the popcorn and no one talks to you during the movie. It is absolutely heaven. For a bonus, take yourself to lunch/dinner/drinks before. Bring a book if it makes you more comfortable, but I find if you sit at a bar, people will chat you up.
misteryin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an interesting experience. I hate when friends talk to me during the movie like making their own commentary, so it's refreshing just in your own little world.
Rashilda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it a lot and it's awesome! No waiting for anyone, you can choose exactly what you want to see and where to sit, and enjoy it all by yourself.
riqk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go see Dope if it's still in theaters. That movie was really fun.
CthulhuCares ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll love it. I look forward to my solo movie days
reddoorcubscout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it all the time because my wife doesn't like the same movies as me. I used to go with friends but got fed up with some dropping out at the last minute or turning up late. Now I go on my own, leave home early, stop off for something to eat, get to the theatre in plenty of time. It also has the added benefit of not having to answer questions from my wife during the movie - "Who is he?", "What did she say? "," Why did he just shoot that guy? ".
twizzwhizz11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I highly recommend it. Half the time I go to movies nowadays, I go alone. It's just more relaxing and enjoyable.
bebeni89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a great experience. Especially on later showings, like maybe the last show of the last day. Nearly the entire room can be at your disposal.
idlewildgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you let us know how you find it? I really should do this (I pay monthly for unlimited cinema) but I keep chickening out!
skooched ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so much fun! I used to do it all the time when my girlfriend was busy, I would treat myself to a movie and dinner. :) usually at a Pho place. I love Pho.
strider_sifurowuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:30 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fun, as long as you go to a later or early on in the day showing and there aren't six million people there. I usually do that for movies where I'm really interested in the storyline rather than just going as a social activity.
dont_blink_angels ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:37:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it's a mix of a few things. The first and biggest reason is the social reaction. When I've eaten at a restaurant alone, it felt like all eyes were on me and they were trying to guess why I was alone (such as thinking I was stood up on a date). Some people are good at ignoring the looks and others aren't. I personally am not.
The second reason is safety. This may not be an issue for everyone but I wouldn't feel safe going to certain places (like bars or concerts) by myself. Gender could play into whether this ranks high in importance or not.
The third reason is that some events can be more enjoyable with company. For example, when I go to the movies I like to discuss my thoughts about the movie after. When I go with a friend we usually grab a drink or some food and talk about what we thought about the movie. The few times I've gone to the movies alone, I just felt a little let down that I couldn't share my thoughts and reactions with anyone or hear someone else's point of view. I know some people can go to online forums to do this, but I find my satisfaction is just not the same as in person conversation.
Granted, all these thoughts are coming from an extrovert.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:48:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think gender has a pretty big influence on this. If I was a girl I probably wouldn't be so comfortable being alone often, which is unfortunate
barcode1555 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Homing in on the cinema thing, I definitely agree that it's a better experience if you can discuss the film afterwards. But that's different to the blanket rule some people have of never settling for the subpar experience.
knuggles_da_empanada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also amusement parks.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:49:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other people help a LOT at amusement parks, because the majority of the time you're waiting in lines.
Alexaxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I'm a roller coaster junkie but I haven't been to a park in nearly a decade now because I have no one to go with.
mylifeisavacation ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:24:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a server, I LOVE customers who come in alone. Talking to interesting folk is what brought me to the industry and it gives me an excellent opportunity to do just that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you take their alone time away from them?
PerfectLogic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone is alone because they want to be or have a choice. Also, a good server knows when they're intruding. Kinda like a sixth sense you get when you put an apron on, smile back at rude people and listen to kids screaming at anything with a pulse for a long enough period time.
mylifeisavacation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this.
mylifeisavacation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can definitely tell if they want to engage with me -- and if not, I do not. Learning how to judge these situations is a critical part of my job.
deputymeow ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:22:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating alone is so underrated. Enjoying a delicious meal on my couch in front of the TV beats any fine dining experience.
Gemmeke ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:08:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always eat infront of my pc
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya I'm with you on this
barcode1555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I eat alone I gulp everything down in a few bites. Conversation across the table helps me to eat less like a savage!
deputymeow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:01:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with being a savage! I'm the exact opposite. I tend to take my time and savor every bite. Normally it wouldn't be a problem, but my friends are all savages so it always ends up with them waiting on me to finish whenever we eat out.
barcode1555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I want to savour every bite! Eating with people like you helps.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately in high school this is pretty looked down on :/
hatervision ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:11:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever my wife goes out of town, friends of mine automatically think I want them to come over, but I usually just make up excuses to enjoy the silence of my empty home, minus the audio from Netflix..
LazyPalpatine ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 20:11:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friends want to spend time with you, without having to compete with your wife for your attention. Go spend time with your friends.
hatervision ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They never have to compete with my wife, she's always cool with me hanging out with friends whenever I want to. I just don't want to all of the time..
RobertFrobisher ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:42:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the point. He doesn't want to. Let him do what he wants.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:42:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the type of social pressure I just don't get.
UsuallyQuiteQuiet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:36:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It gets tiring. I go out alone most of the time and while I still find it fun I do enjoy discussion.
LeagueOfThrows_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:16:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't really pin a reason on it either. I suppose it's the idea that outings are for social purposes like conversing and if you're along you look less natural and might even come off as out of place, lonely, or weird.
Although as I read this thread, I say 'Fuck 'em!' If I want to enjoy your establishments fucking steak on my own time, alone, you're an asshole for judging me!
angievii ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do your thing! It might feel a bit weird at first but note how much you actually care about what other people are doing when you are out. And if someone is judging, it's because they're afraid of being alone, in which case, you've already beat them. =)
knuggles_da_empanada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who spent her last semester of high school sitting alone at lunch (mostly out of preference, but it's not like I have too many friends either.. ), it gets easier.
fran_the_man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think it might be awkward. Went ahead and did it a couple of times and now I don't even think about it. It's great!
barto5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are really uncomfortable eating alone. I find it relaxing. No need to make small talk while your trying to eat. Give a book or my Ipad and I'm happy as a clam.
FullplateHero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think part of it has to do with social stigma. Culture/media tells us that if you're out alone, you must have failed at life. Couldn't get a friend to see that movie with you, much less a date, must be a creep/loser/etc.
I personally don't find it enjoyable to go out alone. There's just something about not having anyone to share the experience with that kills the enjoyment for me. I've gotten better about movies and eating out in recent years, but still wouldn't go to a concert or festival alone.
Zelaphas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once left a job I hated in the middle of the afternoon to go see the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Myself and a handful of other business dudes in suits were the only ones in the theater, it was clear we were all playing hooky from our jobs. It was awesome.
HI-R3Z ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I go out to eat or watch movies alone all the time. I receive criticism about it often but I think it's great. If I get the whim to go do something--I do it--I don't need to include others in order to experience a fulfilling activity.
edit However, as a grown man, being surrounded by parents and children while I'm crying during Inside Out by myself this past weekend was a bit awkward.
GregariousBlueMitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soulmate. Let's go out alone, together!
I'd like to add: I adore going hiking alone, as well. I stay on the paths (for the most part), tell someone where I am going at all times, and have safety precautions (bear spray, extra H2O, compass, etc) with me whenever I go. I never hike out overnight by myself, or too far from the trail head, so why is it that people say I'm "crazy" or think I'm horribly lonely because I do so? I don't like people holding me up, and I HATE holding people up, so why not explore by myself, at my own pace? It feels amazing to do as I wish at all times.
ChewyChavezIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love going to movies alone. I tend to be able to immerse myself much better when I am alone. It's not like I'm going to be talking to my friend next to me at the movie...that's just rude. I text them instead.
bigfoot_done_hiding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense ... hard to ask a bagel anything when other humans are around.
Infovorous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to feel awkward when out alone. I always felt like people were feeling sorry for me when in reality they probably never thought once about me. I realize now that the world never revolved/s around me and going places alone is so much more satisfying.
CzechoslovakianJesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are conditioned to always desire the company of others. I try to do everything alone, but that's because I can't stand other people, and even considering going to a vocational school or something just to avoid sharing a dorm in college.
Then again, I find the concept of love to be stupid and alien, so take this with a grain of salt.
TotalAnarchy_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I realized how great it was to be out alone while I was waiting at an airport by myself. Went and got some stuff to eat and drink. Listened to music. Chatted with a few people by me but didn't feel the need to continue conversation or feel bad for leaving. It was relaxing and caused me to notice the beauty of flying. I was amazed at how I never understood the fact that being above clouds is fucking awesome. 10/10 would recommend again.
Standgeblasen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not awkward from my standpoint. What makes it bad is that everyone has this notion that if I am out to eat alone I am 'lonely'. I don't want your stupid, condescending, pity.
My mother is the worst at this, everytime she see's someone out alone she assumes she knows their whole life story and trys to talk to them. I understand that she is wants to be nice, but it always comes off so condescending.
TostitoNipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I designate a day a week to eating alone. I buy my weekly comic pull and go to this Mediterranean buffet where I stuff myself full of gyros. All by myself. It's the part of the week I look forward to the most.
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that there are so many people. I don't find the actual being alone hard. It's being alone around a bunch of other people absolutely being surrounded by other people and getting along and having their own big groups and you're just near the corner somewhere (not actually in the actual corner, there's always a group in that) on your own. That's what sucks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get hassled when I'm alone, usually by workers (waiters, ushers) but also by weird people in my city. Being with someone gets people to leave me alone.
I_Xertz_Tittynopes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I might have this opportunity soon. My wife wants to take the kids to the Minions movie, and I might be able to convince her to let me see a different one.
ChildishForLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found this to be the case when I first got to University. In my opinion, the whole notion of it being 'weird' came from High school. If you are sitting/eating alone, it may seem that you are weird or have no friends.
First year in University I was in the cafe eating by myself, and it was awesome. Not weird in the slightest.
vatican_slayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it awkward, am I missing something?
barcode1555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday I went to the opera for the first time in several years. It was a bit pricey so I'm glad I don't have that hang-up! I would have had to try to guilt somebody into spending $155 to come with me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always seen it as rather odd that people rely on groups when they want to go out in public. Is it a safety in numbers kind of thing?
gringledoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to the movies alone rocks.
Eating alone? It depends on whether the waitstaff is weird about it. I was reading a book once and decided to go read it at a restaurant nearby that was named after the book, and the waitress acted like she needed to sympathize with me for being alone, when really I just wanted to read my book...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it slightly awkward to eat alone at a restaurant, but I do it anyway. I don't find it awkward at all to see a movie alone.
elephantpantsgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I nearly always go to the movies alone. I find it weird to invite people to come with me to sit in a dark room where they can't talk.
B-Town-MusicMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at the Bar alone and I feel fine.
idinwo01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Will you go to the movies alone with me?
TheReaIOG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I saw Interstellar. Just went one night, didn't even try to find someone to go with. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.
mrmonkeyriding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At first I did, but then after multiple times it was perfect! Cheaper, I could be totally immersed in the movie, hell, if I was out eating, people talk to me, I'm fine with it, I'd feel awkward with a friend. I enjoy going out alone, but I'd admit, sometimes it can be depressive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially movies personally. It's not acceptable to talk to the people you're with, so why is being alone such a big deal.
spygirl43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love going to the movies alone because I get to chose the movie, sit where I want, and eat as much popcorn as I want (without having to share and have someone's grubby fingers in my popcorn).
caitlindactyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to the movies by myself once and it was so great. I had so much fun. I got a drink and popcorn aaaaaaall to myself. It was probably the greatest thing I've ever done.
burrito987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I travel a lot for work, so when in a new city with only co-workers whom I may or may not yet know or get along with, I do this frequently. It can be really, really nice.
BeaversandDucks2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But would you go to the club alone? I am such a loner. I have really honed my loner skills in the last 3 years. I am a master of an Irish goodbye. I live alone. Go everywhere alone. When I see my friends out they always want to ruin my fun by joining me. Then it's just a lot of silence and suddenly I'm gone. But I need them - for the club. I am around people 70+ hours a week. My time is precious.
BrobdingnagianBooty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meta?
joyyeahhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever seen something really funny that you want to share with someone near you when you're watching a movie? Going to the movie alone you would never share your feelings at the time
thisguy883 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This i never understood to be honest. If i want dinner somewhere i usually just order it to go and i eat at home. I feel very uncomfortable being by myself in a public restaurant. Same with movies. If i cant find a date or someone to go with, ill wait till its released on Netflix and watch it then.
People who go to these things alone are braver than me.
Fwhqgads ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:21:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Social norms
Bon_Jovi_Friday ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:43:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I love being alone that's why I do it all the time. Ha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Free time is me time!
myhairsreddit ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:30:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am hilarious, I have the best hobbies and interests, and I love the greatest movies and TV shows. I am my own best friend. I love being alone. Idk why people feel the need to have constant contact.
cordial_carbonara ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:06:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have realized how under-appreciated being alone is since I became a stay at home mom. I've gotten to where I'll stay up until 3-4 am some nights even though I know I'm going to miss out on sleep when the kids are still up at 7 just because those few hours where the house is quiet and I can just be alone without anyone talking to me or touching me is precious.
NotThatJennyOK ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:38:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently quit working nights and it's been very hard to adjust to a daytime schedule because I stay up too late for the same reason. I'm used to having an hour or so to myself after work. I even find myself getting a tiny bit cranky when my family doesn't go to bed on time because I was so looking forward to my hour of "me time".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain. I stayed up to 2 yesterday and slept thru my alarm this morning. Was late for work and super lucky I didn't get in a ton of shit. Could have been bad. I find I'll be dead tired at night, but then if my wife and baby son fall asleep, all the sudden I'm awake and ready to soak in the aloneness.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just moved in with my parents after 8 years, and this is what I miss most. People my age might be ashamed to live at home but I'm not at all, my parents are absolutely rad and I'm happy to be back with them, especially because growing up i was Jerkwad 5000 to them all the time.
HOWEVER.... i miss having time where nothing is demanded of me socially. Not that my parents are fussy at all, but even being expected to make conversation at dinner, smalltalk in the car, or listen to a story in which you have no stake at all, becomes tasking if you work 65-80 hours/week. I'm very chipper at work and at home, and the way i've managed that as is that unbeknownst to almost everyone who knows me, I'm a textbook introvert. I can only keep that peppy momentum if I have my alone time, and without it I am going crazy. Now i'm just frazzled at work and frazzled at home, and both work and home assume the other is responsible.
Roflkopt3r ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:35:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/LfJjTRL.jpg
Sorry for stereotyping, I know there are more productive ways to be alone, but I liked this one too much to not post it.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:14:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit man, that's a great day. Brb time for witcher 3.
0whodidyousay0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bought an Xbox One on Thursday, it came with The Witcher 3 and I have been playing the shit out of that game, it's so amazing and also incredibly difficult, I'm about 10ish hours in, so maybe level 6 or 7 and I STILL get my ARSE handed to me by drowners, they're always in groups man shit's hard
thehaarpist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, now what is this anime?
Amy_Echo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watamote
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being alone is my neutral state. When my room is empty it's like a limbo zone existing out of time. I could be in middle school again for all I know.
Sirspen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. People wonder how I manage to only see my girlfriend of 4 years only once a week on average. Aside from the fact that we're both often busy and she doesn't drive, I simply enjoy being alone. It's not that I don't love her or enjoy spending time with her. I just like my alone time.
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend of 8+ years because I moved away for grad school and he wanted to stay in our home state. We see each other three times per year and it's been fine. I'm looking forward to moving back and living together when I'm done, but for now I love having my own place and being alone most of the time.
LaskaBear ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:55:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yesss! I need to recharge my batteries at some point.
magnoliasometimes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:59:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've recently started doing most things on my own and it's so fucking nice. I can't begin to explain how great it is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're makin me jealous
magnoliasometimes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's stopping you?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:18:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm married, and we have 2 young kids, and I work in a very social job. Anytime I have an opportunity to get some alone time I usually feel too guilty to take it, because my wife gets probably less than I do, and she's even more of an introvert than I am!
magnoliasometimes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow! Yeah, that is a lot more than I have to deal with at the moment. I'm single, work three jobs but still have a lot of free time. A family seems to be a lot of work but I am sure it is great at the same time. :) I hope you and your wife are able to find time to spend alone. I think it's important to do that as I'm sure you know. Try not to feel too guilty next time you do it! Everybody needs a break from time to time! :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
magnoliasometimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there's an independent movie theater where I live and they show a bunch of foreign and indie movies. The first time is weird but eventually you stop caring. More people go to the movies alone than you would think.
If the weather is nice, I like to go on casual bike rides. I've recently taken up painting. It's a nice little hobby that quiets my mind. I try to read outside a lot. I usually eat all my meals alone. There's cafes, bookstores, etc. I know a lot of the activities I'm mentioning sound obvious but as I said, it can feel weird to start doing them on your own at first. I've found a of a lot of hidden gems where I live by doing things on my own, like a little boat rental shop where I've gone kayaking alone or fun little pottery place and fun walking trails. You just have to find what works for you.
I would also like to add that even though I do a lot on my own, I still have a fairly active social life. I love people but I love being alone too. It's nice to finally have a good balance of both.
ProjectionA51 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:29:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I don't have some alone time every week I start getting more and more angry when I have to do things that involve not sitting on my couch playing minecraft.
I_Xertz_Tittynopes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife understands that I need my alone time occasionally. Hell, I'm even okay wandering around in a store by myself. At least I'm just doing my own thing.
pholyuhm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moving somewhere new and not knowing anybody has forced me to do this. At first I felt awkward, but damn it's great to get a nice lunch, relax, people watch and eat.
fintetsu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:02:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like being alone, but I don't fancy being lonely
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya man, it's totally a grass is greener type scenario.
AmbienceVG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes yes yes
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, too. The only time I'm alone anymore is on my commute. :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife has taken up driving me to work with the kids sometimes :,( I love them very much, and she's doing it to help me and be nice and so I can't refuse...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to the boat, it's really crowded :(
Evaunits01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like my alone time to. Gives me time to unwind and do stuff that I only like to do.
PoopNirvana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being alone is my favorite way to socialize.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you believe that nothing you will do well ever matter, that is tough. I think most people struggle with this. I think it's really a choice.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What your saying is true, but in the same ultimate sense, nothing any of us do means anything. It's up to the individual to figure out what would make their life meaningful to then, and then to do it.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's your opinion. The definition of important does not specify the number of people it affects. Important: Of great significance or value; likely to have a profound effect on success, survival, or well-being.
Lighterlow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get to be with people enough.
KING_0F_REDDIT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would do just about anything for a weekend alone. Just 48 fucking hours. I love my family more than anything but it has been years since I have had more than a few hours to myself.
I would pay serious money to be alone with my thoughts. I feel like there's always some small thing that I need to attend to, followed by another and then another.
It makes me so sad, truthfully. I would come back so much stronger and refreshed if I could just be for a bit with zero demands/requests/needs/questions/noise.
I feel bad saying any of this. I truly love my family, but it's like I can only get to know myself and follow thoughts so far before the world pulls me back.
I am extremely creative by nature. I'm not saying it's any good. I'm just saying that I need to create and it's goddamned difficult to work around all the things in a day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly how I feel. I feel bad about it too, but I think it would actually do everyone good!
blamb211 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my wife. If I want to be alone, I can just say "I need some alone time," and she'll go into the other room, take the dog for a walk, something like that. It's the best. Normally, I'm perfectly happy having her around, but sometimes I just need to be able to sit by myself and watch Netflix and reddit in peace.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys have it figured out man.
Cloud_Fish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much this. I've been single for a while and as much as I'd love to get a girlfriend, I think after so long being able to just chill alone whenever I want with no obligations it would just annoy me to have someone around all the time. Life is hard.
SoulFire6464 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always alone, and I like being alone.
serosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finally, some sense in this thread.
Juxtaposn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came to the beach alone today, swam alone, ate alone, intend to see a movie alone later. Its everything I thought it could be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds heavenly
gredgex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend can't understand how I just love to stay in alone on my day off or just go drive around alone and listen to music. Being alone is great cause it's just me by myself, what could be better than that?
twoandonly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my fiance more than anything, but when she has to work all weekend (she's an RN) I LOVE those 2 days to my self.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't it feel good to get that off your chest :)
FuckedByCrap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being alone is literally 'socially' unacceptable.
ferlessleedr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In western society at least it's more common to be extroverted than introverted, so introverted behavior is though of as weird and unusual. So when we do crop up, people are like "What's wrong with you, why don't you come out and hang out because it will be good for you" assuming that what's good for them is good for you. Basically, most people project their own experiences onto others and don't really understand how perspective is supposed to be used alongside empathy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the need to act like an extrovert to be normal... Or rather to fulfill my dream of one day being successful at sobering. I just realized how strange that is.
ferlessleedr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need better friends. The way most people who are more introverted than extroverted valuate relationships is quality over quantity. I have maybe a handful of close friends, but each of those relationships is meaningful to me, and each in different ways. Fewer friends makes for more alone time, but I can get company when I want it. If someone doesn't believe you when you say you need alone time, maybe reevaluate why you keep them around.
Also, not a bad idea to talk to a psychologist. Not necessarily as in "get therapy", but just to help you figure out how you work, what's good for you, and how to recognize it and say no to the bad.
1brokenmonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone to restaurants, movies, and parades by myself. Had good times with thoughts to myself, taking in the environment, and not having to entertain someone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like that too, when I'm with people I feel the need to entertain them in whatever way this person would think is the best. Very draining.
1brokenmonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when entertaining them doesn't always work.
alfa-joe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Introvert here. I love it when people cancel weekend plans.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here :)
GroundsKeeper2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a parent aren't you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guessed it! Of two!
GroundsKeeper2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One for each ankle. :D
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:27:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bingo haha
GroundsKeeper2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Twins?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope! Two separate breeches of 2 different types of birth control. Doc says we're just lucky.
GroundsKeeper2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Wow. Did you write a letter to the manufacturer? Give a two star review?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, one was the birth control pill, the other was an IUD. Both are pretty clear that they are 99.something percent effective, so as doc said, we're just super... duper.. lucky.
His_submissive_slut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The secret is that people have to be kept close together at all times, or they would discover how awesome being alone is and society would collapse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could give you more than 1 upvote.
DigitalCitizen0912 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen! I used to be really extroverted, and after becoming a teacher I spend so much time around students, that I cherish just chillaxing at home.
AdventureTime25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me, too. And not really surprised to see this answer on reddit.
HerrXRDS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love being alone too. It sucks when my friends find out I'm doing something alone and they want to join me. No dude, I still like you but today I just want to enjoy riding my bike alone or whatever else I'm doing. Some can't conceive someone might enjoy that.
soli7ude_is_bliss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Solitude Is bliss
OoLaLana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived alone for the last 10 years and they've been the best years of my life. I'm 60.
I can do anything I want. My home is my castle. I am the princess!
Life is good. I love my life.
kungfukai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to the movies alone not to long ago and saw Mad Max Fury Road by myself.
Wasn't as weird as I thought it was going to be, I'm gonna go to the movies by myself more often now.
BillNyeRationalGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're ok. See bill Gates favorite ted talk: https://youtu.be/c0KYU2j0TM4 Watch "Susan Cain: The power of introverts" on YouTube
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
ZiptaQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love to go out alone. When I go to a restaurant, I usually get seated faster than people who bring big groups. And if I don't, I can always squeeze in at the bar. I go to the first showing of every movie I go to to avoid people's bad behavior during movie like speaking out, rustling popcorn and candy wrapper and crunching popcorn with an open mouth. And most of all, no one kicks your chair while you're trying to watch the movie.
FunkShway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it more than enough and still love it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
theres nothing socially unacceptable about being alone......
is there?
I'm the type that willingly chooses my bed over a party though
lrich1024 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love being alone. In fact I need to have some time to myself every now and then or I start to go a bit crazy. For some reason I've surrounded myself in life with people that are the complete opposite.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same boat
NotRoryWilliams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conversely, I do it plenty so I don't crave it.
I am in fact an introvert, and I do need a lot of alone time. But my social incompetence earns me more alone time than my introversion needs, so I still get lonely.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah its adorable
neumz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every couple of years I'll go on a cross country trip alone and visit people that moved away and occasionally experience a new place. My friends look at me like I need to be institutionalized, but I'm my happiest while traveling. I also think they've helped me mentally more than anything else as well.
tiendoe64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I was cheated on after a 5 year relationship and being alone was my biggest fear. It wasn't until after I accepted it, I started to realize and appreciate being alone. Its amazing! Facing my fear made me look at myself and become happy with who I am.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A horrible negative turned into a positive. I dig it.
Liquid777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would upvote this twice if I could.
agent_adrienne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a wife & mom, alone time is one of the most valuable things someone can give me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why I choose not to be alone. Because my wife is a mom too and I know moms are one of the few types of people working harder than I am.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm truly sorry friend. I hope things get better for you.
chooglin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Solitude is a good way to find who you really are. It's also a good way to become crazy if you let negative thoughts get to you. You can either spend your time alone contemplating who you want to become or contemplate about all the friends you wished you have. To be honest, I was never truly alone or lonely if you asked me. I have a friend who kept watch over me and made sure I never succumbed to negative thoughts. I am truly grateful for this experience we call life so I am in great debt and the only way I can repay my friend is to do good in the world. Thank you, God.
check35 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you one of those introvert extremists. Needing to recharge like a cell phone
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely
lfergy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make time for yourself (:
BuyThisVacuum1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before I was married I would just stay at home and do things on some nights. That legitimately sounded like a better use of my time, and was usually way cheaper. Plus I really hate crowds and loud places. I got some hell for it from friends, but it was what made sense to me.
Wife and kids now, so the alone time is much less often. When I do have a day off and I'll be alone, she will try and get me to take her car in for an oil change and then other tasks that will take the whole day. I love my wife, but no. I have a limit. Time is needed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
newborn baby at home. God I miss it.
DaUrn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just love not having to deal with someone else. Like talking to other people about their problems and such. I love being alone.
Tempered_Traps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I married a beautiful woman who has a beautiful daughter, both of whom I adore and love having around, but when I do sometimes get alone time I LOVE it! I have really learned to appreciate being alone
Happy-Tears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've done this so much that I start to get a little uncomfortable when I don't get my alone time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Hoping I just get used to it at some point
Kettch144 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you buddy. When i can be alone, its the highlight of the day. I work retail, and having a stream of customers and co-workers in my face all day really wears on me, then I come home to a SO that wants to spend time with me. Its such a relief to get a day to myself
Delsana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could trade my serious loneliness for your social state.
jahlove24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have always been surrounded by people. Working in retail, having a large, overbearing, Italian family, tons of roommates... I moved into my own apartment a year ago. I have never been so happy. I do get lonely on the rare occasion, but more often than not I'm just relaxed and at peace.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sucks being alone 100% of the time.
Trust me.
bakedNdelicious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:43:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are very few occasions where I am actually by myself for reasonable periods of time. Its a shame really.
Ta11ow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like being alone, but I do it a bit too much; it gets lonely after a while.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's really the best. I look forward to times when my fiance leaves town. Just me and my cats...and her stupid dog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this stuff all the time. Now that I'm married and have two kids, being alone is like getting the Golden Ticket to Wonka's Factory. Fucking priceless.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I'm married with two kids now too! Alone time is my white whale.
somajones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and this is why I have been more or less single since my brief marriage way back in my 20's. I cannot for the life of me understand how you guys can do that and know that is what the rest of your life will be like. If I wasn't so busy doing whatever I want to do when ever I want to do it I would probably stop and admire you for it.
ProudMeninist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha, yeah, I'm always alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2 small children, I don't even get to use the toilet alone, or have a bath without someone coming in for a chat or to use the toilet. My baby is still in a cot in my bedroom. I am honest to god trying to think of the last time I was alone and I can't. I adore being alone. The closest I get now is a few hours in the evening if I watch TV while the littlies are asleep, but it doesnt count as I can't go anywhere or do anything. I'm going to try and get my parents to take them for a day next week so I can chill by myself!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, those parent days are a godsend. Had a date with my wife last week and my parents took the kids. I fell in love all over again. Anyways I think us never-alones need to form a support group.
dubs2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try not having any friends, family or relationships for 6 years and you'll realize how stupid you were for wanting to be alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I'm stupid for wanting some alone time. If you're never alone you'll want that, if you're always alone you'll want the opposite. My biggest fantasy right now is that everyone else somehow disappears off the planet and I'm left to live the rest of my life alone. Now THAT is kinda stupid, and I know it would get old fast, but that's just where I'm at right now!
dubs2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in your position before. I was stupid and should have spent as much time with the people who cared about me as possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair. I do think me feeling this way is pretty selfish. That's why I whine about it on reddit but keep my mouth shut in person. I'm hoping I can just get over it and enjoy the gift of having loving people around me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HOW DARE YOU?!?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know. Some would call me a sociopath.
[deleted] ยท 4051 points ยท Posted at 14:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Indy12 ยท 1730 points ยท Posted at 15:07:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I have dwarfism as well and I have never had this problem. My friends and family are always trying to get me to date normal people, or whoever I want I suppose. Also, from a genetics standpoint, if you don't have achondroplasia, which is one of the few dominate ones I believe, then the dwarfism is usually recessive. By dating another dwarf, you are only increasing the odds of your children having a disability as well.
[deleted] ยท 738 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Indy12 ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 16:48:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I'm a guy. I've got morquio syndrome though, not that people tend to differentiate a ton between dwarfisms.
FictionalFear ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 18:05:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are there visual difference in the different forms of dwarfism? I had no idea there were different forms and now I am curious.
[deleted] ยท 348 points ยท Posted at 18:20:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CopyRogueLeader ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 19:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know what specific types of Dwarfism they have?
Pokez ยท 208 points ยท Posted at 19:51:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Dinklage has Achondroplasia. While Verne Troyer has a much rarer condition known as Cartilageโhair hypoplasia. I'm just basing this off wikipedia, but /u/vernetroyer is also a pretty active redditor, if he wanted to chime in.
ridicalis ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:31:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/vernetroyer won me over with his shark costume, and quickly found himself one of the few celebs I actually care to pay attention to. Yes, active redditor and a good contributor to the site.
bolognese1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:50:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well damn. TIL.
thecheekyvicar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:28:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's made the front page a few times. Funny guy.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:47:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Shaysdays ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meredith Eaton, who people are also familiar with, has pseudoachondroplasia.
Bigirishjuggalo1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:16:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friend met her while on a trip to LA and came back telling us how nice and friendly she was. Beautiful woman as well. :)
burrito987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoyed her in Boston Legal, very funny
Ananasboat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny, because on an episode of House she was on, her daughter had "fake dwarfism" and Meredith had Achondroplasia. It's interesting.
Karzoth ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:51:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's odd, I'd never considered it but now you put it like that it's incredibly obvious.
dragontail ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here.
KeijyMaeda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just looked them up for comparison and now I am aware that Peter Dinklage is much taller than Verne Troyer, in comparison.
I also realize the differences now.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:10:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention that when it comes to women, Verne Troyer has mad game.
tmpick ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:51:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm sure Peter Dinklage wouldn't be hurting for female companionship.
GregariousBlueMitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd do him.
evoic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:22:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect response and example for the average Joe to grasp the concept.
Golgon3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:44:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peter - Dwarf.
Verne - Halfling.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FicklePickle13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dinklages accent is weird in the context of psuedo-English accents but is very consistent. I could see it believably being a mild speech impediment on the characters' part.
Urban_Viking ยท -52 points ยท Posted at 22:39:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Peter is like a Fantasy dwarf fat and small but Verne is more like a gnome or something because hes smaller.
LibraryGeek ยท 609 points ยท Posted at 18:56:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huuuuge differences. One of the biggest is in whether your trunk is of average/near average size and your extremities are shortened (achondroplasia) or if you trunk is dwarfed with longer arms/legs (my weirdly rare but dominant form of dwarfism) Also whether your skull and spine are involved. Note that these all are types of dwarfism that involve skeletal proportions that are "not normal".
If the dwarfism is caused by hormonal issues, you will get a person with no skeletal problems, just tiny.
There are...over two hundred forms of dwarfism :) we are..legion!
JestaKilla ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 19:16:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL.
JurassicArc ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 20:10:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two hundred? I thought there were only seven.
ColsonIRL ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 20:14:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey-oh
JurassicArc ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 21:00:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean "Hi-ho".
Veggiemon ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 21:45:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
jesus, do people with dwarfism have to deal with puns like this IRL? I'd punch someone. then again i'm a little grumpy.
philjk93 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 22:26:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grumpy the dwarf?
Edit: wrong link
Veggiemon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:49:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thatsthejoke.jpg
I even said "little" man
philjk93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whooossh my bad
juicius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We would have accepted, "short temper."
kjata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lali-ho!" is also correct.
LordoftheSynth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all fun and games until the princess lets her fucking dolls run amok.
RedRoronoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I.. I thought it was just the two..
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:22:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So this might be an odd question, but does there exist bigotry between different types of dwarf?
Ysmildr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:50:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... If a person has achondroplasia, is it plausible that you could cut off their arms and legs and replace them with bionics and they'd be a relatively normal size? Assuming skull and spine are not involved.
Metalyellow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The bones that form the cranial base (bottom of the skull) actually have cartilage precursors, so the skull is affected in achondroplasia.
cara123456789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think some people get the arm and leg lenghtining surgeries which makes them almost a regular height
solely_magnus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:38:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what's it called
Satanic_Earmuff ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:54:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who thought trunk was innuendo?
Kahmeleon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:10:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, but then again, I'm an ass.
laconicsherpa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:27:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
right? ARE WE NOT DOING PHRASING ANYMORE?
OldTimeyPugilist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GUESS AGAIN!
drunky_crowette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I got really excited about Peter Dinklage for a minute there
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ho shit, til
That's kinda awesome, actually
ginfish ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:27:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you know enough about dwarfism that i should ask you this question.
I suppose men with dwarfism are affected... you know... at all zones of their bodies. (I truly don't know how to formulate this without possibly offending someone or google this without fear of something finding this somehow in my search history).
Umbos ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:57:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't you read A Song of Ice and Fire? Between the legs, Tyrion is made no differently than any other man.
No, but seriously, most dwarfism is caused by a genetic mutation that only affects the skeleton. Anything not made of cartilage or bone is not affected.
ThePlanckConstant ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:33:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot of dong for a little guy.
Shaysdays ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:02:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, maybe not. "The same as average size men" means they can run the gamut.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:18:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's relative though. A 6' man with a 6" dong will look tiny but that same dong on a 3" man looks much bigger.
It's the same as how your dong looks bigger in a 6-year olds hand.
Shaysdays ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:39:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A three inch man with a six inch dong would look a bit disproportionate, yes.
But my point was that since it affects skeletal structure, the penis size would be the same (for most forms of dwarfism) as average size men. Whether it looks bigger on them makes no difference to the size in and of itself.
ThePlanckConstant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
ginfish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:34:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, i truly didnt know and that's just a weird question to ask... so yeah...
LibraryGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:00 on July 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think my father is average sized there, even though he is mayyyyyybe 4'9". I've heard jokes about Acon (acondroplastic) men being "tripods" so....take that as you will I guess!
xDialtone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:27:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must be popular at D&D gatherings.
LibraryGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:04 on July 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I like to play as a gelfling for obvious reasons :) A Rogue gelfling to be more precise :)
Jov_West ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:25:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Are there just as many females with Dwarfism as males? It seems like males are more common.
LibraryGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes there are there just fewer crazy little women a la Little Man lol when I went to little people get togethers (many moons ago) there were often more girls than guys. I don't have specific numbers for you though. It is possible that some of the recessive types favor one gender.
infinifunny ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:25:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
....
moeru_gumi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:47:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5'7" counts? Jesus, I'm 5'3".
knuggles_da_empanada ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:08:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think OP is either trolling or misinformed. Googling shows that the line they draw is 4'10 after puberty. You're not a dwarf.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:20:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5'7" is not dwarfism. You can have that condition, but if you're over 4'10" after puberty, you're not a dwarf. Hell, you'd be a tall girl and only a couple inches under average height male. I'm sure it sucks being short, but you're not that short.
knuggles_da_empanada ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez 5'7 isn't freakishly short and I'm assuming you're a straight guy and as a 5'7 girl I am considered on the taller side and I'd say about 80% of women I see are shorter than me by like 2 inches at least. I'm skeptical because how the heck could that be considered "dwarf" by any standards? They're just being mean, if you're being serious.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The cut-off is under 4'10" after puberty.
infinifunny ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:36:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
....
drunky_crowette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are literally just a few inches shy of average. You aren't a dwarf, at most you're a dummy.
infinifunny ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
....
drunky_crowette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The definition of dwarfism says 4'10 or below.
How does that make me an ass?
cutanddried ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
huuuuge.
Dwarfism...
no one?...
LordoftheSynth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dwarfism is only huge if you're a Super Dwarf.
CrisisOfConsonant ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:52:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a random question for you since you said dwarfism. How do most people who have dwarfism feel about the phrase "little people"? My understanding is that is the politically correct nomenclature. But, as someone with no skin in the game, that seems like a really clunky way to describe yourself.
Is that really what most people with dwarfism want to be called or is that like the vocal minority pushing that?
Honestly I can see why people might not want to be called dwarves, as it may conjure images of folk creatures. But why did midget go out of style? To me it seems to have no connotations aside from stature.
So I know you probably have to answer these questions all the time. I don't mean malice or to annoy, but I figure it's not something I can understand from a Google search.
ligyn ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:52:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I can't remotely claim to speak for most people with dwarfism, and yes, "little person" is supposedly the preferred phrase, but a friend of mine with dwarfism absolutely hates this term.
He's a guy in his 30s... I would imagine that many adult men might not like the idea of "little" anything being part of a label for them. The way he sees it is that he has a medical condition, and he'd rather it be called by its appropriate medical term: dwarfism. Other people view it less medically and more as a part of their core identity, and I suppose that's why they prefer "little people".
_Doh_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:31:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Little people" always sounds patronising to me. I don't see what's wrong with referring to someone with dwarfism as "a person with dwarfism".
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where does imp fall on the scale?
FicklePickle13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems an odd thing to nitpick, but all the stuff I'm reading on dwarfism is very insistent that the correct plural form is 'dwarfs'.
Apparently 'dwarves' was a very uncommon variant until Tolkien got his books out there, and is pretty much always properly used when speaking about the fantasy creatures.
They also say that when speaking of relative size, 'f's are in order, i.e., "The elephant dwarfs it's greatest fear, the common field mouse."
kjata ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:07:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that "midget" just means you're scaled down, whereas dwarfism encompasses a large subset of atypical proportions. Although, to be completely honest, I have no particular knowledge on the subject, so get a second opinion.
easytoreadreddit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:16:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you haven't read it, this exchange between Daniel Woodburn and Roger Ebert is interesting.
FicklePickle13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It did used to be used in that context, but only ever saw common usage, never in any medical field. It's basically impossible to separate 'midget' from where it was born, being used by the Middle Class in the early 19th century to equate people with more aesthetically pleasing forms of dwarfism with children, and circuses and sideshows.
sgtzee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:31:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read that as mosquito syndrome...Sorry...
Familiastone ยท -41 points ยท Posted at 17:50:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Can I be the really tall guy in this party, pleeeeeease?
Edit: Guess not... :(
El-Wrongo ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:53:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This question might seem a bit rude, if so I apologise . Would you have a kid if you knew it would also be a dwarf?
Indy12 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:19:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I knew they would have the same kind I have, I would have to really consider it. I'm pretty happy with my life, but I went through at least 6 major surgeries to get me here, most while I was pretty young. That's a lot to deal with, and I don't know if I would want to put that on someone else.
That being said, I just started a brand new enzyme infusion therapy that could effectively cure my type of dwarfism if taken at a young age. It's too late to cure mine, but if I had a kid with my condition, they might have a pretty solid shot at a normal life with next to no symptoms.
NotMyCircus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:24:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May I ask, this new enzyme, what are the results from taking it as an adult?
Indy12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For starters, it's improving my endurance/how far I can walk. Used to only be able to walk about 300ft before, now I can make it about 500ft, and thats after taking the enzyme for a year. It also reduces the issues my joints could develop later in life, so I shouldn't have joint pain when I'm older. It may do other things, but it's so new that no one really knows.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:07:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SinnerOfAttention ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 18:17:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need more short people friends. I have zero.
lordnahte2 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 19:38:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't seek out people with dwarfism like Pokรฉmon. With friends, its not "gotta catch 'em all". The common one is having "a black friend". For some reason people try to act so progressive by saying they have a black friend. The best way to make friends is like so: 1 find someone you enjoy being around 2 be friends. What they look like, have, don't have, want, don't want, is all irrelevant.
fakestamaever ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:09:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You teach me, and I'll teach you
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of assume from the comment that he is a dwarf as well.
SinnerOfAttention ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:47:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
.
Kenny__Loggins ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The hell?
PlayMp1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:13:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That seems weird to me. Why shouldn't a dwarf date an average height person? Hell, if she were cute, I'd ask a dwarf out, no problem. I'm sure it's a really god damn annoying issue to have as a dwarf, but as far as "disabilities" go, it seems pretty bearable compared to, say, deafness or blindness. I know if I had to pick a disability, it would be dwarfism. Everyone loves dwarfs.
-Mountain-King- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suspect that's a result of the same social belief that women should date men that are taller than them.
forgetfulnymph ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even consider dwarves as a possibility of random redditor
NotMyCircus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like realizing how diverse reddit is when reading some of those /r/askreddit threads that call for "____ of reddit:" and scores of people respond. My favorite was one about divorce lawyers. Who knew there were so many in our community? Let alone who happen to see the post.
nixity ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:30:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask a curious - but potentially dumb - genetics question then?
Without getting into the Wiki grind of it, based on /u/Indy12 saying the Achon is dominant, how is it that average-sized parents would give birth to an Achon child?
Is it literally a point-mutation that occurs in those cases? If so.. that's actually incredibly fascinating!
Edit: Also, as an aside, for what it's worth, even for average sized adults females typically prefer taller men. So I think it's probably "easier" for females with dwarfism to date average-sized males because it's almost status quo already. My roomie in college was 6ft (female) and constantly upset over the fact that shorter men never wanted to date her, even though she was more than open to it.
gunnersgottagun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:13:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually a lot of diseases that predominantly exist due to de novo (aka new) mutations (think anything dominant where the person with it wouldn't survive to have their own children).
You can also get the case where mutations happened in cells that went on to form lots of the later sperm, so all those sperm cells carry to random mutation that didn't actually run in the family, but the dad now might father multiple kids with. It does complicate things when the first time the family gets told it was just a random chance mutation, and then the next kid has the same thing, and we need to then explain this aspect to them.
daltsteve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is actually a huge phenomenon that body scholars investigate. Another similar thing that happens is people who use wheelchairs for mobility dating others who use wheelchairs. This literature is pretty interesting.
Edit: also, a lot of women with dwarfism are hyper-fetishized which definitely impacts this stigma differently for different genders.
Thoctar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is ironic because dwarf men dating women are more likely to be closer in height, that's just weird.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:07:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
masstrespass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm legitimately shocked to hear this, that people insist on imposing this already-asinine standard on dwarfs, of all people. Honestly, I have always just assumed that dwarfs almost never ended up dating each other, because that's a miniscule dating pool and what are the chances? Maybe I've just been underestimating the size of the community though?
MisterVega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because women tend to be shorter than men anyway, and Iโm sure there are women out there that donโt have dwarfism that are just as short.
Gonzobot ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot more female dwarf pornstars than male dwarf pornstars. Not gonna say that's the science behind it, but I'm sure actual science would find results somewhere between correlation and causation.
FicklePickle13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing that's because most porn is marketed towards men, and most females in porn are already objectified to the hilt by their target audience. The males are usually supposed to be identified with by the audience to some degree, so not wanting the object of fetishization to also be the object of identification, they have the 'thing' that classifies the porn (BBW, MILF, blondes, redheads, librarians, dwarfs) be the woman.
One can also extend this into same-sex porn by taking these roles and applying them based on who is acting at the moment and who is merely reacting to what is done to them. Most porn doesn't have things more complicated than one person doing things and the other laying there and moaning about how awesome it is.
noctrnalsymphony ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since women are 'smaller' I think it's viewed as more OK. I have a friend who is not a dwarf but at 5' is below average height, his girlfriend is 5'9" and even they get weird looks.
bool_idiot_is_true ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm no expert but I'm sure I've heard that some forms of dominant dwarfism having two dominant alleles is fatal for the fetus.
princess_of_sheba ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:01:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, two parents with achondroplasia have a 25% chance of having a child who won't survive pregnancy.
Bennyboy1337 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to ask if you're a male of female, because I think there is a stigma again males dating taller women, but for women it's okay; so anyways I checked your post history to get an idea, now seeing how much you talk about DnD makes wonder if you role play a Dwarf in real life.
Indy12 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:30:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What can I say, I like the game. And I tend not to post outside of that sub, so I imagine my history must be pretty dnd heavy.
gunnersgottagun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't some of the forms of it homozygous lethal too? (I think actually achondroplasia is). So even more of a reason why, from a purely genetics standpoint, reproducing with a person without dwarfism would be easier.
funke42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:34:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a phrase you often use? I'm not judging; I'm just surprised. I don't think I've ever heard a minority call the majority "normal" before.
Indy12 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:21:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my condition is an abnormality, so I don't have a problem using the term "normal" for people without it. I know a lot of other people tend to use "average" instead, and I'll flip between the two, but don't really have a preference.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought about it when I saw Warwick Davis's family. I mean no insult but I don't believe anyone would ever choose dwarfism if they were given the option. I have a problem with people who have children knowing there is great chance or even certainty that they'll be handicapped or have dwarfism. Am I so bad?
mcac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can still live a pretty normal life with many forms of dwarfism. I don't see why we should be policing who you're allowed to marry based on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When did I say anything about marriage? I'm talking about them having children knowing they will most likely be dwarfs. I'm not saying we should even consider banning it but this issue shouldn't be dismissed so easily.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
alcide170 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if there was this fortune telling machine or something that let you be an adult Tom Hanks for a little while, would you do that?
chutupandtakemykarma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an honest question. You just referred to dwarfism as a disability, while others insist it is not. Is this stance to create a sense of empowerment, or do both viewpoints have strong arguments to back their definition?
Indy12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't like to think of myself as disabled, I also can't ignore the fact that there are a large amount of physical activities that I either can't do, or a have a difficult time with. I know my own limits, but I won't let others set them for me. You can admit to having a disability without letting it define you, and without using it as a crutch. I think empowerment comes from overcoming your disability, not by ignoring it or pretending it doesn't exist.
cactuscat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*dominant, not dominate. Sorry it makes me twitch.
Nekotography ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:31:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an experienced 18 year old Dominate looking for a sub who wants a Master to train her to achieve her potential as a 24/7 slave...
FicklePickle13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, still wrong there.
Nekotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
About? That's just the usual context for use of the word dominate - a shitty joke, perhaps but hardly "wrong ".
ToxicApe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to be a smart ass, but just because I'm taller than you does not make me "normal people" :)
Both you and op make interesting points though. Thanks for the vivid discussion!
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys should kiss.
Ask_A_Sadist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:31:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are normal my friend. Stop referring to others as normal as though you are not
JRSHAW7576 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:30:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brad Williams is my favorite dwarf
many_cuffs ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dwarfism is uncommon, but not abnormal. Please don't suggest that you are not a "normal" person!
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:17:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dwarfism is absolutely abnormal.
Wolligepoes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:50:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A normal person in a not really normal body
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This may come off wrong, but do you (and other dwarves) actually date non-dwarfs? I just can't imagine anyone I know actually dating a dwarf.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's social stigma at work. I can imagine people wanting to date dwarves (if nothing else, fetishes) but refraining from it because they're worried what others will think or say. Some people will think you're a pedophile.
hahachodeboy ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:21:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dwarfs shouldnt have any kids so they dont spread the gene
FicklePickle13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that didn't take long. Hello Eugenics Man!
seedanrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
OUCH! Pretty harsh. I mean telling a person they should skip probably the greatest experience in life because they could pass on a genetic disadvantage. You could use the same logic to dissuade the color-blind from having kids.
I can see the value to not passing on the gene -- you want your kid to have all the advantages possible in life. Are there any genetic ways to still have children but lower/eliminate the chance they get the Darwinism gene?
verily_downvotes ยท 1088 points ยท Posted at 15:26:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think Game of Thrones has been a positive thing for dwarves? Having essentially one of the most charismatic and interesting tv characters of the decade be a dwarf?
[deleted] ยท 2120 points ยท Posted at 15:32:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RUN_BKK ยท 1879 points ยท Posted at 16:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
heh.
[deleted] ยท 1104 points ยท Posted at 16:47:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ragnar-lothbrook ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:28:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always love a dead family pun
ErickHatesYou ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:29:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey they're not a dead family, they're just a dead father, mother, brother, half-brother, uncle, aunt... okay, they're kinda a dead family.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:43:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how I would feel if SANSA was the only one who ended up living.
ErickHatesYou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:14:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, if Bran dies I riot. Fuck that shit.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:50:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You've still got lil' Rikki and Ay-babay.
Restil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still have 4 of the 5 legitimate children puttering around, two of whom can carry on the family name. Not quite dead yet.
atlanta_gt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but seriously what happened to Bran?
akeyjavey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's doing his Professor X training obviously
driveonacid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's logged into weirwood.net right now. It's almost as bad as reddit. But, I think he'll run out of blue links by next season.
benzooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's gonna be in avatar 2, with new legs
ZWQncyBkaWNr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Lieutenant Bran got new legs!"
OldTimeyPugilist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He buggered off.
dendroidarchitecture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They finished his storyline in the last season to keep them all balanced throughout 1-4 so there wasn't anything to put in 5. They'll pick him back up (well he can't walk on his own...) in season 6
SamWhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They realised the effect he had on ratings.
ragnar-lothbrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I (SPOILER) believe that (SPOILER) Jon isn't really dead. The red Priestess lady (Milisandre, Right?) can bring people back to life with some good mojo, and they just burned poor stannis's daughter so her mojo meter should be full. I expect to see more Jon Snow
ErickHatesYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that seems to be the general consensus on what they're planning, but as of right now that guy's dead as a sack of potatoes.
ragnar-lothbrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats been stabbed by the other sacks of living fruit. bananas, apples, Olly-Oranges, pears. ect
ErickHatesYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:38 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Potatoes are a vegetable...
ragnar-lothbrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:17 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok buddy, how about other bags of alive " assorted produce"
RUN_BKK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:48:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
touche
kore_nametooshort ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:51:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh :)
ComradeStrange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ehkodiak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That went well :P
Luuklilo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're swell
spambot_3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
10/10
Joevual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nicely done!
helpful_hank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought "small minority" was better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Gonna assume this was intentional too.
EDIT: Formatting
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:38:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:42:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hehe
I_AM_POOPING_NOW_AMA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:43:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still too soon :(
takanishi79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw that, and immediately checked to make sure someone else giggled about that.
Silidon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want some pie?
intro2womenslasers ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh as well.
reallyoffensiveporn ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh
psykulor ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:59:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK so is the Station Agent good? I wanted more Dinklage, so I was happy when I found it, but I haven't seen it yet.
shelbyknits ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 16:44:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very good, but it's definitely a character study. Dinklage is an exceptional actor. It's hard to to portray someone so introverted and quiet without coming across as flat, but he does it.
Chompy_Chom ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:40:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But can he save the train wreck that is the upcoming film Pixels?
NoMouseLaptop ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:05:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was the best part of Knights of Badassdom, so there's hope.
KngNothing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you go into these movies expecting ridiculous , but fun, nonsense - they're great. I loved Knights of Badassdom, but i was looking to have a few drinks and watch a ridiculous movie about LARPing. I'm sure Pixels will be just about as 'terrible', but great if you're going in to watch a ridiculous goofy movie, with a little nostalgia thrown in.
yayster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always nice to see Summer Glau too.
ThirdFloorGreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The short film was cool. So it has that going for it, I guess.
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:04:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wiiv ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:24:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dinklage is the man. I found it pretty cool that his role in X-men as Bolivar Trask was (if I remember right) absent of any mention of achondroplasia - I don't even think there were any height references of any kind. He was just another character.
life_in_the_willage ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:08:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! That's what I was trying to remember. You're correct - his height was never mentioned in the whole thing.
FicklePickle13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From what I remember, he was cast based on his audition. They weren't looking for someone with dwarfism, so they didn't write the character as a dwarf, so they didn't cock it up with the usual stupidity.
_PM_ME_YOUR_SECRETS_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was too! When he went to the congress I think or somewhere they made a height joke I'm sure of it
verily_downvotes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:18:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also enjoyed the station agent.
Emmelon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:18:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Station Agent is brilliant! I love films (and tv shows, books etc) that are really driven by character and subtle relationships and The Station Agent is such a great example of that. Cafรฉ con leche, comin' up!
fireduck ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:57:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I would describe it as a great movie in which nothing happens. Also, who doesn't have a garlic press?
manachar ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:00:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Station Agent is a phenomenal film. I loved everything about it. Dinklage's performance was amazing, and the supporting cast worked well.
There's something about his situation in life that I really really related to. Helps I was into trains as a kid (and could totally see myself as one of those people who turns his basement into a giant train room).
Thematically the film feels in the same vein as A Fine and Private Place by Peter S. Beagle, which is equally a story I adore.
poppy_moonray ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:54:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, wow! I love A Fine and Private Place, and I've never known anyone else who'd read it. I used to read it over and over in high school, and even practice drawing the illustrations in it. I also loved The Station Agent, and you're right, they do have a similar tone. You just made my night with that reference, internet stranger.
manachar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:40:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome! You just made my day. You're right, it's not the best-known book. I picked it up because of the Last Unicorn and stayed for Rebeck and crew.
lady_lilitou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was my first Beagle novel! I actually read that long before I ever got around to The Last Unicorn. And The Station Agent is also terrific. That movie is why I was stoked when I started seeing Peter Dinklage show up in movies and then on GoT.
Yay for random internet people with good taste!
ganeagla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Station Agent was the first time I came across Peter Dinklage. He was so charismatic and engaging, I remember I was comparing him to Tom Cruise after I watched it. I was totally unsurprised when he started becoming a big star thanks to GoT
totalrecarl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really liked it. Dinklage definitely gives a very subtle performance that works really well. And Bobby Cannavale's enthusiasm is pretty damn infectious. I loved his character.
benchley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm watching season 3 of Boardwalk Empire, and man, does Bobby Cannavale go in a different direction... good interview on NPR a while back, too.
totalrecarl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
He's really great in Boardwalk Empire as Gyp. One of the most menacing characters on that show. He's just solid in everything. Hilarious in The Other Guys and Modern Family too.
evixir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had only seen Cannavale in Third Watch before I saw him in The Station Agent and I was really impressed with him afterwards. So earnest and just desperately wants to be friends with Finn. Love this flick.
totalrecarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:13 on July 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely. People are making fun of Dinklage and he defends him and genuinely wants to just be friends with him. Cannavale feels like an outsider there and sees Dinklage as one as well. He doesn't see him as a dwarf outsider, just as an outsider. Like when he asks him that earnest question about whether his people have clubs. And he was actually talking about train people, not dwarves.
nickrenata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I loved it. It's a very simple, character-driven film. Dinklage is outstanding.
omgdonerkebab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I randomly saw The Station Agent one day, without having heard of it at all. It was really good, and afterwards I went looking up who Peter Dinklage was because his performance was exceptional.
So_Motarded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to chime in and say I didn't really like it. The acting was great but the whole thing was a great bore to me. It's just some regular small-town people living their lives. They have their quirks and hobbies, and we see those played out as they hang out together. But that's it. To me, there was nothing spectacular about "normal people doing stuff".
evixir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:05 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interpersonal psychology not really your thing then?
takanishi79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the words of a college film professor, "it is the best film you will ever see about a dwarf that loves trains."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's exceptional in my opinion. It has some of the annoying characteristics of independent movies (that make them seem like they are taking themselves too seriously, even when it's a comedy), but it's minimal and it's just a good movie.
nairebis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I liked it, but you have to like character studies. Don't go expecting a complex plot that will change your outlook or anything. But the characters feel real, and it has great, subtle performances.
MrBojangles528 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very slow, but yes it is a good film
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:54:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like for a long time, people's exposure to people with dwarfism in the media was limited to Verne Troyer as Mini-Me and so dwarfs were kind of a punchline. I think some of Peter Dinklage's early roles reflect that. But that man has almost singlehandedly cemented the radical concept that dwarfs are just average people into the American media consciousness. Between Tyrion and the bad guy from X-Men Days of Future Past, he's done an excellent job portraying a flawed man who just happens to have dwarfism, and I think that's awesome.
Honestly it is so weird to me that height is a punchline so often. I'm a very tall woman and we're a punchline pretty often too, though not to the degree you see people with dwarfism or even just men without dwarfism who are short used as a punchline. It's rare you see anyone outside the range of 5'5"-6'3" or so on TV and their height isn't remarked upon at least 6 times per season.
Garroch ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:11:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I just thought of Dinklage's character in Days of Future Past as a dwarf. As in, it didn't even register for me. He was first off a bad guy, and 2nd, it was Peter Dinklage. I never identified the character as a dwarf, and I don't believe it is ever mentioned in the movie.
That just goes to show how amazing of an actor he really is.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:25:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not ever mentioned. After I saw that movie I was like "Wow. He just played a guy who HAPPENS to be short, and no one mentioned it." Of course I think his dwarfism had something to do with his motivations- the mutants, like him, have a genetic abnormality- but not once did anyone bring up his height in the movie.
ZerexTheCool ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:54:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An important note. They also did not dance around it pretending not to notice it.
His character really was fully fleshed out and nobody cared that he was also a dwarf.
tha_dank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it may have to do with me being pretty tall myself, but I never got the punchline aspect with tall ladies (I loooove tall women). Like do you get a lot of "amazon woman" or what?
4077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, how could you forget about Warwick Davis playing Willow Ufgood??
"Willoooooowww!!! .... Baaa!!!"
RedTheWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I first saw Peter Dinklage in Threshold, a short-lived (and awesome!) sci-fi show about a subtle alien invasion and he was also brilliant in that - he played a grumpy mathematician genius who just happened to also have dwarfism. Check it out if you can find it!
RocketCow ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me very happy to read, I'm glad some people have become slightly less ignorant.
Koopa_Troop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exposure is the best way to fight ignorance.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:57:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GoT should add some more minorities. It worked out for dwarves.
BAM521 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember the books correctly, I can think of at least one guy who was described as white in the text but was played by a black man on screen: Xaro Xhoan Daxos.
Compare his book wiki page (http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Xaro_Xhoan_Daxos) to his show wiki page (http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Xaro_Xhoan_Daxos).
I don't think the change was detrimental to the character in any way. And as far as I can tell, no one has complained.
Edit: I actually thought of another. Take a look at book Salladhor Saan (http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Salladhor_Saan) and show Salladhor Saan (http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Salladhor_Saan).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Areo Hotah is another
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't Prince Doran handicapped?
I want to say he has gout or something and he can't walk, but I'm not 100% on that.
...Annnd after a google search, I am 100% on that. Yep, he has gout and trouble walking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jon and Kate plus eight helped me out. Girls were wondering about cute half Asian babies.
Then the walking dead was awesome, with Glenn getting with a babe like Maggie as well. Honestly I think I like that portrayal very well. An Asian who isn't good at math and doesn't know Kung fu. But is a badass.
Silent_Sky ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:30:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention, Peter fucking Dinklage, man. Peter. Fucking. Dinklage.
Bens_Dream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's what he was on about when he mentioned GoT and Station Agent.
the_cat_kittles ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
peter dinklage is the god damn coolest person, and he keeps getting cooler
yayster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to have a beer with him, just chilling out.
ohnoitsZombieJake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you feel about In Bruge?
Shaysdays ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While the series itself was a soap opera turned up to 11, Dinklage's portrayal of the nanny in Nip/Tuck was amazing.
dodgerh8ter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you feel about the movie Elf?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adding this to my "media representation fucking matters" folder.
FaceofHoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this is a real folder please share said contents with me
glxyjones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't really thought of his role having such a large impact but after thinking about my own personal responses, it really is huge. I remember seeing The Station Agent over 10 years ago and being somewhat surprised to see a dwarf playing the lead role, but today, I wouldn't think twice. The Little Couple on TLC has also helped me better understand the lives and issues people with achondroplasia go through. If you haven't watched it, I'd recommend it. Yeah it's reality TV but IMO, those two are the most nice and genuine people on TV.
deeper182 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:51:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:). Aside from the pun, thanks for the great answer!
wu_niversity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...small minority"
I see what you did there.
gratefulstringcheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hehehe
SoleilNobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but what about Dwarf Fortress dwarves? They're basically the single most fucking metal species in the universe!
SeansGodly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant!
bobaimee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's your view on all the TLC shows portraying people with dwarfism?
Do you view those reality TV shows in the same light as you view GoT?
glglglglgl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dinkage is also in X-Men: Days of Future Past and there are no comments about his stature, if I remember rightly. Like GoT, he is just another actor in the film.
-Kryptic- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of ironic, cause in the eyes of most high fantasy, being short does make you a subspecies! I always hated fantasy for saying Orks are inherently violent, or elves inherently graceful, or hobbits inherently jovial. t's just so unbelievable.
XSplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I always felt bad that the typical small person role was always just that it was someone's boss and there was an awkward comedy skit about avoiding making short puns.
In fact, I hate when any one physical trait dictates an entire character. It's just lazy writing.
shesallover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS Is why representation in media is so damn important! It DOES make a huge difference.
computeraddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both?
TA818 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a fantastic firsthand example of why representation in the media is so important, for all sorts of types of people.
plutomutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Station Agent is one of my favorite films! :)
DrNinjaPandaManEsq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Station Agent was the one where they guy has a bunch of trains, right?
idog73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love The Station Agent and recommend it to everybody. Until GOT that and Elf are all I knew Peter Dinklege from.
fitterhappier04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a dwarf, but I will say that Peter Dinklage is the man. Plus, his real name doubles as his porn name!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think 30 rock did a pretty good job when they had dinklage on
Todayzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thank you for sharing this story. It's important to know representation matters.
KeijyMaeda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never had the chance to actually ask this, and I mean no offense, but, do you call yourselves "dwarfs"? And is it therefore okay to speak of you as such? I always assumed it would be offensive. But then again I have no idea what would be an un-offensive term to use.
EDIT: And now I just read further down that people are already interrogating you about this. Whoops.
Marcus22405 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you really noticed a social change when GOT blew up? That's sad a show has to teach people how to be decent people
ThermalAnvil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, youre just an adult that is shorter than the average adult, I dont get why society acts like its a "novelty" or that youre a "one dimensional character." Youre just short, so? I feel similar to people who are racist, the other person is just a different skin colour, their just darker or lighter than you, why does that matter? We're all still just people.
WalropsHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really liked the Station Agent. Adding it to my queue.
enough99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes me so happy to hear. I love Dinklage's character.
PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I love The Station Agent. It's so good and completely under-rated. I recommend it to people all the time. It's the first really positive portrayal of a person with dwarfism and makes them out to be a real fucking human being with actual feelings.
Domriso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading The Superior Spiderman and being so happy that they actually pursued the romantic relationship between Peter and Anna Maria. I'm not a dwarf in the slightest (I'm 6' 3") but it always seemed so out of place that dwarves are relegated to the position of fetish in so many people's minds.
dankerstrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoyed little people, big world.
413612 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I show this post to anyone who cries about how representation of minorities doesn't matter? That's so cool to read, I'm really happy for you.
awesomeoctopus98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh maybe but my friend kept asking me after watching GoT if my brother who has dwarfism was an imp or a half-man and stuff like that. The other thing that bothers me is that people treat my brother too good. Like he gets treated super well by most people just because he has dwarfism. He is really popular and all the teachers like him. Sadly I believe that a big part of the reason for that is his dwarfism.
lord_james ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever see the Vin Diesel movie "Find Me Guilty"? One of the actors in the film is a dwarf. He plays a lawyer. The fact that he's a dwarf is never mentioned. I've always thought that was super progressive, and it came out years before GoT. It's sad how rarely dwarfs are cast in roles that don't "require" being a dwarf.
You should really do an AMA. I, and I assume others, have a lot of questions about how you live our life and how people act around you.
FicklePickle13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having never seen those two movies, all I can think of aside from Tyrion is a one-off character named Alexander from Star Trek's "Plato's Stepchildren".
And that is fucking sad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine films like Austin Powers didn't help, though. Mini-Me is an explicit comedic play on dwarfism.
draykop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tiptoes. Gary Oldman. Other big names. Horrible. I screen this movie every year with friends and it's awful every time.
DaemonJP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"small minority" - was this deliberate? This feels deliberate
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jostler57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The dude from Insignificant Harvey was excellent in the amazing movie "In Bruges."
Although, it doesn't portray dwarves in a great light, his character is unforgettable and also a key point in the movie.
(It's one of my favorites of all time, so worth a watch!)
zimtkuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so happy to read this. It's something I have been wondering about since watching the show. It makes me feel validated in believing diversity and having fully developed minority characters in the in the media makes a difference.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, it just reinforced my perception of dwarves as crafty and mischevous.
I kid! (not really)
RebelScumbag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh...
Alkanfel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm a bit late to this party but I just wanted to chime in with an anecdote: my father, brother and I are all fairly tall guys (my dad is the shortest of us at 5'11") and while watching an episode one night my old man opined something like "Man, Tyrion is such a cool character. He makes you want to be him, which is not something I ever expected to say about a dwarf." We all agreed. I was never particularly 'grossed out' or whatever by dwarfism, but I hadn't considered that perspective. I'd totally trade places with Tyrion, dwarf or not. I truly believe that through his portrayal of Tyrion, Peter Dinklage has made life easier for the (western) dwarf. If I saw one tomorrow I wouldn't even bat an eye.
But yeah, you're absolutely right about media portrayals. Most of the time, dwarf actors are tapped for comical roles (such as in Austin Powers and Bad Santa) but even if they're awesome like Verne Troyer and Tony Cox, it's not really a 'meaty' role. While watching the first few episodes of GoT, I remember being thrilled for Dinklage having the opportunity to portray a character who wasn't just there to generate cheap laughs. I'm glad that the show has had a positive effect on your life, reading your post made me smile.
TwaHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Dinklage in elf was a great dwarf character. Come to think about it he might just be a great actor.
belinck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No love for Willow?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
belinck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair statement.
Costco1L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not pass over the fact that this was also starring Peter Dinklage. (and is a really phenomenal portrayal in a rather good film)
Retro21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:53 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow, this is really awesome to hear. You've got to wonder how society would function if we were all judged only on our personalities.
DisITGuy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:40:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Peter Dinklage is just a mesmerizing actor.
He is here showing people with Dwarfism are just... People. I mean seriously, how does anyone have a problem with this who is not playing some ridiculous character in GoT?
Edit
Memorizing. FTW
WendellSchadenfreude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean mesmerizing?
Calling an actor "memorizing" also makes sense, but it would be quite a harsh insult. "He's just memorizing his lines, not actually acting."
DisITGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fucking spell check.
I mean he is beyond impressive.
ColonelScience ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:41:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention that Peter Dinklage is hot.
Hunterbunter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:06:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, that guy is so charismatic that I had to think twice after reading your comment. My thought was..."there's a dwarf in game of thrones??" What a testament to his acting...I don't even notice the height difference any more.
h8f8kes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would rather see people admire Peter Dinklage for bringing Tyrion to life than see the mockery that was the Wizard of Oz or Charlie & the Chocolate factory IMHO.
melonowl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is extremely relevant.
CaptainMarijuana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:29 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah, Tyrian is such a bad ass and you can tell it's because he had to deal with all bull shit that comes with being a dwarf in westeros. Maybe it's because the actor is better looking than most dwarves or even normal sized people for that matter but either way it's definitely changed how I look at dwarves.
kway00 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:52:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of battle axe do you have? Two-handed? One handed plus shield?
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 17:27:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ZerexTheCool ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:02:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He lives in a time and a world where being a Dwarf is something that is truly wrong. He is scorned by the masses as a devilish "Imp" and hated by his colleagues up until they get to know him.
Once they actually get to know him, they find him to be a really 'good' person and see past his appearance.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:14:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
Really sucks seeing people still miss the great commentary of the show. The whole "I've been on trial for being [a dwarf] my whole life" part was amazingly well written. I feel sorry for people who miss the point of great moments like that.
whitefox00 ยท 683 points ยท Posted at 14:58:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly off topic, do people ask you really inappropriate personal questions? I find that when people are interested or don't understand something they tend to ask really invasive questions. For instance - pregnant I was asked if I was going to breastfeed, when she was conceived, and people would touch my belly. Now that my youngest looks nothing like me, I'm constantly asked if I adopted her or why she doesn't look like me or my SO. For the record, she looks exactly like SO did when he was a kid. But I would imagine that someone with your unique circumstances would get all kinds of prying questions.
[deleted] ยท 928 points ยท Posted at 15:07:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
whitefox00 ยท 630 points ยท Posted at 15:12:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet jesus, some people have no class. I wouldn't even know how to respond if someone asked me about my genitals.
[deleted] ยท 702 points ยท Posted at 15:26:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They are huge."
Wait, are you male or female?
whitefox00 ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 15:38:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha female.
PsychoKuros ยท 375 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same response then. "They are huge"
joe-h2o ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:27:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surely it would be "They are huge, they are huge"
You know... the echo.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:01:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
whiskeymann ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:46:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, for one, envisioned two huge vaginas. runs
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, the correct response is "bigger than yours".
Shaysdays ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Start singing this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Agfhgn1_yKE
uizanfagit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thought it was gonna be the "My pussy tastes like Pepsi cola" song.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:46:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oops.
Perhaps not the best reply then.
Boom_doggle ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:35:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, saying "It's like a crevice in a glacier that could devour a mammoth" might get some odd looks, but would probably discourage further questions.
WolfGuy801 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 17:40:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm NOT trying to be rude here, but do normal sized people parts "fit" like normal ?? My wife about when through the ceiling back in the day, without some serious effort on my part beforehand and she is my height. I can't imagine what it would be like for a even smaller person?
RoachPowder ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:06:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prefacing it with "I'm not trying to be rude" should be a hint that what your asking is pretty personal and rude.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but this is Reddit where all we do is ask super personal questions to strangers on the internet. Just look at this subreddit.
RoachPowder ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:16:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty fair point. It was still a pretty conspicuously audacious thing to ask someone who just complained about probing questions, though.
QBEagles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But NOT is in all caps and bold, so it's cool.
WolfGuy801 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:17:44 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, thanks. I was trying to get an honest answer to this question, but instead I hear from you that it's rude. oO
RoachPowder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:29 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can want an honest answer from someone, but that doesn't stop it from being a pretty rude and obtrusive question. You could probably get an answer from a medical professional, internet search, or individual who has not expressed distaste for intrusive questions.
beastytrevor ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:50:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that answered that.
apoliticalinactivist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're on the internet....just google it.
ErickHatesYou ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:31:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear, googled "dwarf dick" and got nothing but Snow White r34
SlackJawCretin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find this hard to believe. Source?
GraveRaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Erm.. Google?
apoliticalinactivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your google-fu is weak...or strong, depending on how much you enjoyed that r34.
dreadead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just watch some dwarf porn, it will explain that to you
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, not too big unless you put them in your mouth. Here, try."
Inferzo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Careful, the mouth can be pretty dangerous. It's a zone that genitals probably shouldn't go in. I guess you could say that the zone is one of danger.
Marimba_Ani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They are better than average. Way better." :)
King_of_the_Hobos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ready to play sexual roulette?"
Seviceth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And here we start with the questions
TheFeshy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're being insensitive to dwarves and the intersexed.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:32:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does it matter? ;D
XxsquirrelxX ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:55:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could never just walk up to someone and say "So, what does your dick look like?"
SamWhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Different strokes for different folks, I tend to use that question as an icebreaker.
ajlinker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:32:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
try being trans, it's a super common occurrence
DontPromoteIgnorance ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:13:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My genitals are spectacular. Unfortunately, you're never going to have the privilege of looking.
Stewbodies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:59:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Guess again!"
AskMeAboutMyGenitals ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's something that just happens.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AskMeAboutMyGenitals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent! A little sweaty because it's already hot as balls here.
daithice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst for me was that they asked to take his picture. Jesus fucking Christ.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It would be a dwarf-sized cock"
"GUESS AGAIN"
hangry_lady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know, drop trou and let's compare!"
aerosol999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm strange but I probably wouldn't care. It's just a dick, about half of us have one.
Toxicfunk314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Prolly bigger than yours"
NothappyJane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband was in a wheelchair temporarily because of accident and it knew people were shitty because of the stares and mutters I'd heard in the past but it's a bit mind boggling how stupid and cruel people really are. He even had a woman in the supermarket shove his wheelchair and tell him to get the fuck out of her way.
NotHosaniMubarak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"how are yours?" "Lets comapre dicks. this is totally normal right. Since you asked why don't you go first?"
alamaias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess most people get the curiousity over most "body differences" questions out of the way in highschool, when we are all tactless. But when it comes to rarer shapes and sizes you might not have had chance to learn during that "expected to be graceless" period, and some people never do learn to shut the fuck up. Hell, I'm ginger, and i still occasionally have people ask questions about my body hair. In highschool i was asked daily about my pubic hair.
People are weird.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow redhead here.
Sweet Christ on a bike, people are interested in my pubic hair.
One of my favourite pastimes is to fuck with the people who like to ask without asking, like:
So...having red hair...is your...you know...red too?
My what?
You know. The downstairs.
The downstairs in my house is generally painted white.
No. I mean do the curtains match the carpet?
I have wood floors.
deadcelebrities ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Like a baby's arm holding an apple."
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:58:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Study Tyrion Lannister and become as sassy as him. Particularly any lines about it being "lucky to suck a dwarf's cock".
TigerBeetle ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:23:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... can I take a picture of your adopted midget genitals?
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:19:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's so many different labels for so many different things nowadays that I have trouble keeping up with what words I'm supposed to use and not use.
Fuck it, I quit. No more labels, his name is Eric, can I go home now?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:25:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I can't remember the last time I needed to specify someone had dwarfism. I know a few people that have dwarfism, but I can't even imagine a reason why I'd need to mention that. It's never really been a salient attribute.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:31:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ir0nSkies ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:17:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone suggested that you do an AMA?
I think there's a lot of genuine interest in people with dwarfism and most are afraid to broach such a sensitive subject.
If you are comfortable doing it I think people could learn a lot.
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, none of my close friends have it, so it's possible it's just something that simply hasn't come up.
... I probably need to go find a site or app to keep me up to date with acceptable nomenclature.
Sugar_buddy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:14:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tumblr. This site has everything you need to understand proper terms and nomenclatures.
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except for when it gets really crazy. Just have to not listen to the people who are clearly far up their own arses.
No firsthand experience here but one of my friends did get a big opening of her worldview from there.
Cuntasaurus--Rex ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're joking, right? It's just a bunch of middle class white girls inventing problems and disorders and seeing who can collect the most special snowflake points.
Sugar_buddy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I was joking. I identify as a Joker.
FaceofHoe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:16:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet another person who has never had a Tumblr account, yet seems to know exactly what it is. It's a blogging site, dude. Like Wordpress? You have a blog, and you share posts from other blogs or make your own. A lot of it is dedicated to book, movie or TV show fandoms, others to writing, science or arts, some to social justice, etc. It's varied, just like the world is. Many celebs use it. Yes, many teenagers do have Tumblr blogs - perhaps because they feel safer there and more able to express their views than on a site like Reddit because of people like you.
Also if your next comment is going to include any version of "fee fees" don't bother.
Cuntasaurus--Rex ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the SJW.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair if you're describing Jim the dwarf using his name and the other person doesn't know who you mean, that's an attribute that will narrow it down pretty quick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People of Walmart is 'people-first', but it's pretty derogatory.
Ashe400 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an adopted guy, I rarely get asked if I'm a dwarf. My parents did straight up tell me I was adopted though.
downvotemeufags ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:42:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shines light towards /u/hullmarch
So, which DO you prefer? Answer the question, we're all friends here.
WHAT DO I CALL YOU!?
slap
TELL ME!
A_t48 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:44:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/cQ_dL_IMPP4?t=63
totally joking of course...
Jhago ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:22:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often wonder if it's considered rude asking the type of nanism you have? I always found the condition scientifically interesting, but I never know if I'm going to offend someone by asking it...
cakebatter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bah, sorry people suck so much. I feel like so many able-bodied people don't know how to behave around differently-abled people. I've seen people not speak to someone who is in a wheelchair and ask their partner questions that should really be directed at the person ("Does he want a water?" Uh...ask him!).
I used to know a woman (a Little Person) who goes around to elementary schools to educate kids about differently abled people. She said it's such a great experience b/c kids pretty quickly pick up new habits and they always learn a lot. Sort of a rambling comment, but basically it'd be good if learning about different types of bodies and abilities was a thing kids learned in school.
*Edited for typos
JesusK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mhhh, well, most of this is curiousity, it does make you wonder how it impacts, dwarfism usually impacts on the body, but all of it? Parts? Which ones? How much? Internet is okay but not the best for accuracy. And how much does it affect you, they don't know what it is like to grow as a dwarf, so, it is natural to wonder how much struggle did it cause you.
Like, I would love the idea of hearing Dinklage talk about how it has affected his life, how he grew with it, how he became an actor, and more about the whole ordeal, because many times they are put in situations where their size is used for comedy like a bunch of roles of Verne Troyer...
And the last one, is people don't want to say anything offensive, and the overall situation might be akward, because for many it is something outside the norm, and at the same time being able to reference this characteristic of you... kinda like how it's drill into everyone that you have to say "african-american".
SKNK_Monk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a joke about a cock merchant in there somewhere.
glglglglgl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can get the pictures thing as a tall person, it can get old.
Jess_than_three ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um, excuse me, this word doesn't seem offensive to me (as a person who is largely ignorant on this subject), therefore you are wrong to not want it applied to you. Why can't you understand that?
Yeah, that shit sucks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jess_than_three ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite the same terms, but I'm definitely used to the idea!
Borrillz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Man, I thought my battle with the schizophrenia stigma was tough, but at least it's invisible most of the time. I just hope most people you meet can forget the novelty of your apperance and just learn to accept you as a fellow human.
It's almost like some people care less about what someone feels because they're different. Once you build up a thick skin it becomes less of a downer and more of a finely-tuned people barometer.
austin101123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is everything not in proportion? I was thinking it was just the head/eyes that wasn't in proportion.
-Mountain-King- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Btw, which term is currently acceptable? It seems to cycle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So are your genitals normal?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must have so much patience to put up with that kind of stuff.
DisITGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WTF @ all of this.
How are other people just ok with someone asking you these questions? Has no one ever told someone to shut the hell up?
Bunnyhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just assumed you are like every other person out there except with a slightly higher desire to fire a crossbow at your father while in the john.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does someone have the audacity to tell someone that they're adopted?
Edit: Misspelled they're
solesoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a dwarf, I'm just short (5'5") and I get pretty much all of the things you've described in this thread other than the dwarf specific things and people wanting pictures.
I think most of the stigma is less dwarf focused and more short people focused (inb4 Napoleon complex). I don't know about you, but I find it more annoying than actually being short
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom, in her brilliant stupidity, told a dwarf "I love Snow White!"
I shit you not.
And then. THEN! She relays this story to me and tells me how hurt she was when the guy responded negatively. Like.. really? REALLY?
Drudicta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair I've always been curious. But probably wouldn't ask if I wasn't dating or didn't know you as a close friend. :p
But we're on the internet! No shame all shame.
Though, ya don't gotta answer, just curious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lanadelrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I just scrolled down and read this comment. Two minutes ago I posted and asked you if the label dwarf was ok or little person is better. Sorry for being one of the dickhead interrogating people!
lolzergrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit...and here I was going to ask what is the most acceptable term to use. Thought I was going to be non-ignorant for a moment by asking what you personally prefer.
...now I don't know what to do. I hate myself. :(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lolzergrush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm...that depends. If I speak with a East German accent, will it feel like an interrogation?
If so, then I make no apologies. I've been doing that fake accent for years and I don't know how to stop now.
ADDeviant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I admire people like you who, despite the insulting and invasivness of the questions, take the time to answer or explain. All you can hope is that they will pass on awareness.
Explaining my daughter with cerebral palsy, or even my ADHD, is hard enough sometimes.
pixiegod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a black friend who got irritated by people asking him for his picture in china. I never understood it, but I guess when you realize it's not because of any of your endeavors but of something that you have no control over it might feel dehumanizing.
kaplanfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since this is reddit and you brought it up, I do actually have a question about the various labels. Why does the preferred terms seem to be Little Person, that seems horribly offensive (even more so than midget), especially for a man? Not that I often have the occasion to use a term, but I think I would go with dwarf.
zincH20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what is the reason that midget isn't used anymore? like I have no idea it was just like one day somebody said don't say the M word, and I couldn't figure out why...seriously wondering...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zincH20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh gotcha ... i never said the M word and meant to harm anybody ... if that makes it any better ...
serioussargasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The next time someone asks about the size of your genitals tell them it's wrapped around your leg three times and tucked in your sock. When they get all offended tell them inappropriate questions get inappropriate answers.
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you kick yourself in the head?
Can you kick yourself in the head...for five dollars?
I knew a dwarf when I was in high school. He...well, he was a dwarf, and he was a capitalist. Smallest baller that town ever had. You don't have to actually answer the questions ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Is it not common knowledge that dwarfs aren't another race like in The witcher, but that it's a genetic thing? Also, I would like to add that until I read your comments, I thought midget was a normal word, and not derogatory at all.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, then let's use the witcher universe as an example then.
lumloon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's TMI!
ziburinis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten this so many times with my hearing and my disabilities. It's like people don't realize how wrong they are being in making these sorts of assumptions and asking about them.
ClickClickChick85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldnt imagine asking another person flat out about their genitals. Holy hell has the filter just gone from these people's minds??
Date whomever makes you happy. Happiness is all that matters in life
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to admit, I've always been surprised that the term "little person" is okay with dwarfs. It seems kind of offensive to me, implying diminutive or cute or somehow lesser. I always use "dwarf" because I know it is accurate and acceptable and I'm uncomfortable with the other one even though people like you have told me that they don't mind.
sightlab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was hit on mercilessly by a little dude at a bar in Portland. I was honestly not interested for the wrong reasons (in my stupid world view, some things are intangibly unclean. Dwarves, with full apologies, were in that group). But he wouldn't let up. His general humor about our height disparity (I'm 6'4) was winning. And ten he showed me what he referred to as his "literal third leg". All told, his personality killed our casual relationship (arrogant prick, angry at the world, eventually passive-aggressive about my tallness), but holy moly that dude had a big dick for such a little guy. He had a big dick for a normal sized guy. He just had a huge dick, period.
apekillape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm a giant black guy and I've gotten most of those myself. I think people on the edges like us have more in common than "normal" sized people.
Zelaphas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness, I would ask a little person what they preferred to be called (besides their name, obviously) not to interrogate but simply to learn and to be polite. I encounter a lot of genderfluid or genderqueer persons, for example, so I ask which pronouns they'd like me to use so I don't accidentally offend.
bella__Muffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking you a question! Do you, like you singular not the plural, prefer to be called a little person? If not, other than person, what would you like to be called?
ConnectionIssues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it remarkably disturbing and yet oddly touching that your experience with the tactless questions of blithering dumbasses, as a dwarf, is almost identical to mine, as a transgender woman.
I guess it's kinda funny how everyone can be reduced to "describe your privates!"
statutory_vape666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin is a dwarf. Its really inspiring to see her have a sense of humor about it. When we go out in public and people stare she just shrugs it off. Also when little kids stare at her or freak out she just plays along with it. Its awesome to see how open you are, it reminds me a lot of her. People always forget that your body means nothing, there is the same exact brain in your head that everyone else has. Who cares how someone looks.
flamingeyebrows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was told by a dwarf friend of mine that he get laid a lot by women who are curious about the size of of his... little person. Has that been your experience as well. I am just thinking, that's one kin of inappropriate nosiness I wouldn't mind. :P
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TELL you that you're adopted? Dude, I would punch a bitch. Do people just think dwarfism is always 100% dominant or something and doesn't show up as a mutation or isn't expressed?
No wonder there's so much climate change denial. These people need some science up in this bitch.
TheSoundofStars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend/co-worker who's a dwarf and honestly he's great. The two of us make a great pair as I'm a big guy and he just about reaches my waist.
I asked him once about what he thought of words like "midget" or "dwarf" and he just said "little person" is fine. But I'd never call him anything like that because he's just a person. I always offer to help him with things I know he physically can't do but it's a rarity he ever needs it. The guy is on the school football team, he can handle himself just fine.
I think that stigmas surrounding people of any minority can only really be broken apart by actually getting to know and like someone from that group. I never knew a pure-bred German native until I spent three weeks in Germany two summers ago, and now I absolutely love the people and their country. Any stereotypes flew out the window because the image I had in my head of what Germans are like is now replaced with the facts. It's like watching a movie after reading the book; chances are the way you visualized the setting and story are now influenced by the way a director visualized it. It's the same with people.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rudeness aside, I don't mind admitting that I am curious about every single thing you've mentioned.
I find nothing wrong with any of those questions (or any questions anyone has about anything) depending on the context.
Faiakishi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't know what possesses people to think that randomly asking a stranger about their genitals is appropriate at all. That's something you google, or ask in one of those 'ask your inappropriate questions' reddit thread.
Ridry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
::sigh::
There are no words to express the WTF I feel upon reading that.
WolfGuy801 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:37:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I don't think that most people know the politically correct terms to use. I'm really short (5'4"), and I don't even know what the proper, or unoffensive terms are. So, I stick with calling everyone people. In your case, I'd just refer to you as a very short person, until I learn what wouldn't offend.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mb862 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I don't understand why people would expect everyone with such a condition to identify as "dwarf" or "little person" or whathaveyou. It's a medical condition that affects your outward appearance in a recognisable fashion that needs to be managed. It has no bearing on who you are. I have hypothyroidism, which is a medical condition that affects my outward appearance in a recognisable fashion (fat deposits are larger due to water retention, especially in my neck) that needs to be managed (through medication). I don't identify as a hypothyroidifac, and asking me if I did would be a silly question. Someone asking if you identify as a little person would be equally so.
WolfGuy801 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:12:36 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, thanks. I really appreciate the honest answer. Please know that I was not at all wanting to offend you, and apologize if i did so. I really did want to know this, and will put it to use, given the chance!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like your comment upthread where you refer to people without dwarfism as "normal people"? I think with pretty minimal effort you could come up with terminology less offensive than explicitly confronting a person with their abnormality.
WolfGuy801 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:45 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, when comparing two people where one is a dwarf...the one who isn't a dwarf would be referred to as 'normal'. Like it or not, I didn't invent the language, or the logic used to cipher it.
Alumni_Blues ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:31:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AND MY AXE!
J0RDM0N ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:52:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to ask this because out of curiosity and I would probably never ask this is person but I am curious if your dick is proportionate to your body or of it is like huge (like 7+ in)
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:11:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you ginger? Cause if you are you can cross off ever visiting China. They will parade you through the streets
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:12:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In personal experience, people will pretty much ask whatever the hell they feel like if there's something "novel" about you. I'm trans, and the amount of people who think i want to have a casual conversation about my genitals or, god help me, how I have sex is unreal. It's like "Friend, I just met you, fuck off"
glaneuse ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:22:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Time to start asking them about their genitals, see if they like it. So, bro, are you circumcised? Girl, you got a flappy labia or one of those little scrunchy ones? What do you mean, that's a personal question? You were just asking me about my junk, its fair game.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:22:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like someone who would ask a dwarf about his cock wouldn't really find it awkward to answer questions about their own genitals, as long as it was on topic.
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly awkward in conversation anyway, so like, that's a personal fantasy where i publicly shame them and everyone has my back, but like, i mostly just give them a polite "none of ur fucking business"
the "how i have sex" thing actually bothers me more because the answer is literally alway "stimulation til orgasm" for everyone o the god damn planet im not special or novel leave me the fuck alone.
glaneuse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:37:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, people ask that?! That's fucking weird. "Uh... why are you trying to picture me having sex right now?"
edit: now having fun trying to think of vicarious comebacks.
"Well, when two people love each other verrrrry much..."
"On a bed of money."
"We bump uglies."
"Do you make a habit of asking people the mechanics of their sex life?"
"I'll tell you when you're older."
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:45:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll tell you when you're older."
USING THAT, IT'S PERFECT
DragoonDM ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:19:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a trans friend (male to female), and she told me that a disturbing number of people, when told that she's trans, will almost immediately ask about the current status of her genitals. That would be awkward coming from a close friend, but who the fuck thinks it's in any way appropriate to just jump straight to "oh cool, have you had your dick cut off yet?"
Jinnofthelamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As much as I dislike the phrase this is the definition of "That escalated quickly."
TheGreatWalk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think its just pure curiosity. I used to get the most ridiculous questions when people found out I was from south africa, including.whether I had pet lions or why I was white. I got offended for a while, but eventually learned to go along and have fun with it. There are still a few girls out there who believe the right of passage for south africans is to yank a tooth from a wild lion, and my family left because my little brother refused and we were run out of the country
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:10:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curiosity is fine, I'm often curious about things that aren't my business, but I'm an adult so i keep that shit in my head
TheGreatWalk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:25:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, but you also can't expect every person you meet to behave respectfully. They might not even realize they are being offensive or how dumb their questions are. Its definitely better to just have fun and start giving th bogus answers, see just how crazy answers you can get away with
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This can be a weekly, extremely invasive event, I sure hell have enough respect for myself to know that this shit is unacceptable, and I'm gonna be mad. It's dumb and rude to ask about a stranger genitals or sex life and anyone who doesn't realize that is socially inept in the worst way
TheGreatWalk ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once again, I realize this. Which is why I'm not asking these questions myself. But is it really worth it to sit there and let some random person upset you on a weekly basis cus they don't understand their questions make you uncomfortable? I mean, that seems like a lot of wasted energy to me, especially since you can turn their dumb questions back on them and have a good time with it instead. I guess I just don't understand the point of getting offended.
FaceofHoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't see the point in getting offended? There's no point! It's a human reaction and completely justified. Although one could argue that another 'point' in getting offended is that it leads to many social justice movements, because people don't take that shit lying down. I realise there's great risk in even using those words on reddit.
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the only people who say shit like "dont yourself get upset" are those trying to remove fault from the guilty party and place it. "Just deal with it" is not a solution, it's letting people.
I really truly don't think you understand what dysphoria costs my mental energy and wellbeing. If it was as simple as "don't think about it" then, don't you think i would have fucking done that already. People casually bring up some of the most painful shit i have to deal with day in and day out just so they can get their kicks learning about "the freak" and I'm just supposed to be cool with it? No chance.
TheGreatWalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. The way I see it, you are almost turning yourself into a voluntary victim instead of controlling the situation and coming out on top. You can't control what others do or say, only how you react. Reacting by being offended means the only person coming out of the convo upset or in a bad mood is you. I would never let some asshole have that effect on me. Turn their stupidity back on them and walk away smirking. My situation isn't as enotional as yours, simply being from a different country, but I think my view can be applied to both situations and doing so ends up better for you.
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is regularly asked invasive and painful questions
some fucking asshole: "learn to love it or you're making yourself the victim"
Alternatively, we could hold grown adults accountable and not try an turn it on me, because it makes me feel like shit to have invasive questions asked of me. If yo're not trans you have no place telling how to deal with shit you have no frame of reference for.
TheGreatWalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok fine, go come up with a plan to change every single person on this planet's behavior to make sure no one accidentally offends you. Im sure there is a realistic solution out there somewhere. But until you do, why not try what I said and try not getting offended so you don't end up upset anytime someone asks you a question.
TheRaesoftheSun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't seem to get it. Dysphoria can give me a panic attack, fuck up my whole day, make me want to die. These invasive discussions bring up dysphoric feelings. I know i can't change every-bodies behavior, but i sure as hell have the right to be fucking mad about it. What's your goal here?
precambriansupereon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:43:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, my boyfriend is trans and it's the most bizarre thing. I particularly hate the kind of roundabout questions when you know what they're trying to ask because it's disgustingly obvious.
"So you like him, but you're gay. So does he have a vagina?"
Like shit I'm gonna tell you, dumbass.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have red hair and the seriously inappropriate questions are constant. God, Kick a Ginger Day was hell in school. People will just come up to you like being different is a God-given excuse for them to harass you with the most idiotic questions. Why? Oh, they're just curious.
"Hey, how do you feel about the saying that all redheads are great in bed?" "Is your pubic hair red, too?" "Did your parents ever treat you differently compared to your other normal siblings?" "Do you have a soul?" "Do you hate having hair like that?" "Do you have a temper?"
And then God forbid you tell them that they're being inappropriate. They just blink at you innocently. People don't seem to understand that when they ask me those questions in public, it's embarrassing. And if I tell them to leave me alone about it or fuck off, they just smile and joke, "Oh, well, I guess the whole 'redheads have a temper' thing is true after all."
eleanor61 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Counter act with, "Oh, well, I guess the whole (depending on their hair color or what have you)'brunettes/blondes/bald people/etc being rude' thing is true after all." Sorry you have to deal with these weirdos.
BoltonSauce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the worst things about that is that people direct their attention towards objectifying trans people, asking if they've had surgeries, etc. It also distracts from real issues, like violence and workplace discrimination.
pyro5050 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:04:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when i was out with my mom as a kid, they would ask if i was adopted because i looked nothing like my mom, and very little like my father...
when i hit 14, almost the spitting image of my father with my mothers hair.
i am now 30, if i gained a bit of weight, i would be my father.
whitefox00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Genetics are a funny thing. I bet your father gets a kick out of you looking like him. Yeah my SO is one of those people whose looks changed as he got older (hair color, build) so strangers think my youngest is a mailman's baby.
I never understood, who cares if you are adopted? Is it really any of their business? It doesn't make you any less a child of your parents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's father is Filipino-American. Her mother was born in Texas to a Polish-American father and a mother with a very sort of typical white American melange of European ethnicities - British, Irish, German, et cetera. She's also dyed her hair blonde since she was a young mother.
It's impossible for the family to count the number of times my mother-in-law has been assumed to not be part of the group of her brown-skinned, black-haired husband and his two tanned, dark-haired children.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:54:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So, when was she conceived?"
"When me and my husband fucked, why do you ask?"
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:12:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, pregnant women are like huge magnets for awkwardness. My coworker was pregnant last year and some lady got offended when she said no after being asked to feel her stomach. I don't get why people think being pregnant makes someone's body public property.
Indy12 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:29:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the time, but part of me enjoys it cause I can be a snarky smartass about it. One time someone asked me, and I quote, "So how long you been...you know...like that?" complete with long pauses. I just kind of looked at him and went "Well one day I woke up and none of my clothes fit."
Had another guy ask if I knew that I had "Kind of a pointy chest" while making a pyramid shape over his own chest to show me what he meant, and now that's a running joke between me and all my friends.
whitefox00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think humor is probably the best way to deal with stupid people. Good for you for taking it all in stride. When I was pregnant I wasn't nearly that gracious about it and I only had to deal with it for a few months.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP but my wife is a foot taller then me (I'm 5ft and she's almost 6ft) and we get a huge amount of looks and comments. I sympathize with the fact that you aren't seen as "normal" and it makes me a bit self conscious. My wife just laughs at all the attention.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I've never even considered this to be an invasive question. Well, I've never asked this question off-topic either, it is the norm where I'm from anyways.
But I guess it shows that there are a lot of questions that seem normal to the uninitiated, but invasive to people with a different cultural background.
AcceptablePariahdom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I've never understood that. Why the FUCK would people think it's okay to just walk up and touch a pregnant woman's belly and start asking personal questions? I'm very overprotective (my friends call it a "guardian complex"), so if my wife were pregnant and some stranger walked up and put their hand on our unborn child my first instinct would be "threat" and I would not be nice about telling them to back the fuck up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As if you would just ask him if people ask him inappropriate questions...
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"When people are interested they tend to ask invasive questions?"
Really? You don't feel that's a touch, uh, massively overgeneralizing?
drunky_crowette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uuuugh. One of the few reasons I'm glad I can't have kids? No excuse for strangers to rub my belly. It's so gross and invasive
Faiakishi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh jeeze. I have a coworker with a baby (the cutest fucking baby ever) and pretty much every time I mention her or her baby my mom asks if she breastfeeds. Uhhh I'm not going to ask my coworker what she does with her boobs. We're friendly and shit but that's not something you ask people you aren't good friends with. It's not my business.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think asking if you are going to breastfeed or when the child was conceived are invasive. Those are pretty normal questions to ask. You are just uptight.
georgiespies12 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:01:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, and how many people do you meet in your life that you think are good enough to marry? It takes a long time for people when they have no limitation to their dating pool. What are the odds that when you finally DO meet someone with Dwarfism that you are going to have one damn common interest with them? It's beyond silly to have this expectation for you. You do what you're doing! I support you!
xveganxcowboyx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:37:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to ignore the insulting question of whether you should or shouldn't date other people with dwarfism and just look at practicality for a moment. I think 1 in 12,000 is about the most generous number you could put on dwarfism from all causes (probably much less). That means in a massive city like New York there would be no more than 700 people, again, probably far less. That is not a large dating pool. Then factor in similar age, it drops substantially. Only then do you get to things like physical attraction, shared interests, etc.... It's like telling someone they can only date people who live on their block. If none of them are right for you, well, too bad. Spend your life alone.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:00:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that's gross. Look at Peter Dinklage. His wife is a foot and a half, maybe even two feet taller than him. I'm sure they have problems, every couple does, but they're happy, they have a kid, and they're a completely normal couple. If people think that you should be restricted to dwarf women then they can go fuck themselves. You're a human just like every other person on this planet and you should be able to date whoever you goddamn please. Just try not to date Lorathi whores, my friend. Doesn't end well.
tallhokiegirl ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:18:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In sort of the same vein as you, I'm a tall girl with the expectation of dating an even taller man. I'm 6'1" and I've dated guys 5'6" or shorter. I've also dated guys taller than me. But when I was with the shorter guys I actually had people tell me I should be dating guys my height. If it doesn't matter to me or the guy, why should it matter to anyone else?
LittleSandor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is so primitive though. As a species we have gone way past size being a necessary factor in selecting a partner. Within limits obviously. Being 2ft or 8ft obviously can possibly lead to health complications. Not to say that people even at those extremes are undateable but height definitely does factor in at that point. But people finding value in mere inches of height is crazy. A guy that is 5'6 is short, 5'10 is tall "enough". Yet it is 4 inches of difference. That is around the size of a GI Joe figure or something lol. Who cares?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:29:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a classic example of the "i haven't thought of something before, and I don't understand it, therefore I'm afraid of it" scenario.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:51:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Dinklage's wife is tall and bangin'
CrisisOfConsonant ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:45:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny that you mention interracial dating. I'm Asian and I dated a black girl when I was younger. As an aside she was also taller than me by 2".
It's not just the dirty looks or the comments we'd over hear. People would walk up to us, stop us, and tell us that our dating was wrong. And this was the early 2000's.
People have some weird ass ideas about who should date who. Although virtually no one says anything when I date a white girl.
markoyolo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:49:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a man? Do you think their disapproval comes from the idea that a man should be taller than the woman he's dating?
That's a pretty weird stigma, I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:52:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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markoyolo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:01:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you know that the people saying only fetishists would date you are wrong. I'm an average sized lady with no issues dating someone shorter than me, or dating someone who isn't "able bodied".
If you're a dwarf who is able to accomplish everything you want to accomplish with your body, are you or are you not able bodied? How do you feel about that term?
Your thread turned into an AMA. Does that happen every time you say you're a dwarf?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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markoyolo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:25:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be pretty averse to the idea of being intimate with a non able bodied person. Then I got a degree in psychology and a minor in sexuality and took a class on sex and disability, which was fucking awesome and completely changed how I see sex. We watched one documentary where this quadriplegic guy fucked his girlfriend with his arm and experienced orgasm by having his ears licked and stimulated. Mind blowing! There are so many ways to have sex and be a sexual being. I stopped seeing non able bodied people (thanks for your explanation of that term, btw) as non sexual. I hope there are some other ladies in the world who feel similarly and wanna get to know you.
One cool thing is that you can write in complete sentences, unlike a large percentage of online daters, so you have that going for you... Which is nice.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:19:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:25:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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LittleSandor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that depends on the type of dwarfism a person has though no?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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LittleSandor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was kind of thinking out loud with that question. I thought that with average height and dwarfism it would have been a 25% chance, but I was confusing it with recessive inheritance.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:28:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im a short man at 5'2". The stigma is real..
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5'2 master race brother
kenyafeelme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually dating a guy your height (I'm 5ft3). I rarely run into guys shorter than me so it was novel experience to actually be the taller one for once. The stigma is stupid imho.
WolfGuy801 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5'4" here, so can I join this crew??
the_chandler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also 5'4". Heightism is real.
Wrathwilde ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:28:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you feel guilty after you masturbate, it's dwarf tossing after all.
snorlz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats annoying as fuck. Its the same thing with people who think you should date your own ethnicity and only try to hook you up with people who are your race. I might be asian but i grew up in the midwest and I like white girls more than asians usually. stop telling me to get with every random asian girl you see
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Hateborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is and it is because people always jump to sexuality when they see a couple where there is a size difference. In addition to a dwarf / able relationship, you also see it in the cases of people like basketball players who are 7+ feet tall with partners that are barely more then 5', you see it with tall women who have trouble finding partners due to the stigma that women should be with taller men (which also plays into the stigma you face), and even with fat/thin partners. People just look at the pairing and start thinking, "How does that work in the bedroom?" When they try to insinuate that you should only seek another dwarf as a partner, they don't even take into consideration that dwarfism is not a common minority. Despite the number of conditions that cause dwarfism, it remains a relatively rare condition - people see racial minorities every day, how many see even one dwarf daily? It isn't like you can just go down to the bar or the club and mingle with dozens of others.
As a male dwarf, people see your size and assume that since you are smaller than a normal person with no disabilities, that therefore you must be smaller ahem everywhere ahem and thus go into the mindset of "he could never pleasure a woman", which is incredibly presumptuous and discriminatory of them. What these people fail to consider is that it doesn't matter if you're carrying a thumbtack or your own personal kickstand, the thing that matters most in the relationship is the happiness of both partners. There was a woman who replied in this thread who mentioned being over 6' tall - if you were to date an above-average height woman like her and both of you were happy, who the hell should have any say over that? As long as both people are happy with the relationship, they will find a way to make everything else fall into place and nobody should have any say over who you or anyone else can seek happiness with.
Spear99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you've got Peter Dinklage making being a dwarf seem like a proper badass socially, and Gimli for the physical side, so I would imagine it can't be THAT terrible ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Spear99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was referring to portrayal socially. Keep in mind the mental image of dwarves for the public used to be "step right up to see the freak" at circuses. I would say current portrayals are much more favorable and help to reduce the "eww what are you doing out of the circus" mental image.
luckylizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man if it makes you feel any better Peter Dinklage is married to a woman who doesn't have dwarfism. Looking at pictures of them together and its clear that they are very much in love and are very cute together.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:56:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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BobaFettuccine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's hot as hell, too. And that voice... So sexy...
luckylizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
aaaand now you've ruined it.
MrMumble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do you. If you want to date a nondwarf do it. People need to learn how to keep their damn noses out of others relationships. The obvious exception of course being anything illegal during the wonky ages around puberty.
cromathor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This kind of reminds me of how large people always end up together. Sure, there's something to be said about having something in common with each other, but it bums me out how there's that weird pressure there for people to "stick to their own kind."
XxsquirrelxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually met a dwarf before. Supposedly you can be classified as a "legal dwarf".
ohnoitsZombieJake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck those people. Date who you want
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Raviepooh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People actually think that? That's so absurd.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, Tyrion, I know your dad disapproves of you Shae, but there's no reason to get all crotchety about it
FrankiePoops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm gonna take a wild guess that you're into legs.
I'llSeeMyselfOut
shelly12345678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I always say, date who you like!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you should just date bears.
ArrowRobber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not having any form of dwarfism and only being slightly below average male height for north america, can you / do you compare it to expectations & social pressures of guys in general expected to date girls younger & shorter than them? The closest I can get to someone my height is girls that 'like shorter guys', so even when accepted it's still tied to what the social mindset for height entails.
Is Peter Dinklage iconic (or an annoying comparison) for your situation? Even by full height standards he has a handsome build, and the flurry of being famous certainly helps a lot, but I've yet to meet a girl that doesn't admit to being attracted to him, height or not.
AutonomyForbidden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have always wanted to hook up with a woman with dwarfism. I think it'd be interesting and fun. Good for you btw that you dont let peoples preconceived ideas rule you =)
NoseDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You will probably get a laugh out of this video.
Or, you'll be offended. Not sure which, but I think its funny.
U_DONT_KNOW_TEAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancee is more than a foot and a half shorter than I am. There isn't anything wrong with dating someone of significantly different height. It's all the same when you are horizontal anyway.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is something that most people are probably just ignorant about. Dwarfism is pretty rare, so it isn't a subject most people ever have to put much thought into. I think the thought is "well it seems logistically very difficult to date someone who is normal height when you are a dwarf" and then they extrapolate that to just thinking it doesn't or shouldn't happen.
Anyway, I'm sure they don't mean any harm, so the best thing you could probably do would be to kindly correct them. Unless they're just being way too forward and intentionally dickish about it. Then you can tell them Kenny Loggins said they can fuck right off.
crrrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A (female) friend of my wife and me has been dating a dwarf for a few years. I'll admit that I did a bit of a double take when I met him for the first time since she never mentioned anything about that, but after getting to know him I realized that he was actually just the same kind of asshole that she always seems to date, and since then the topic of his stature hasn't really come up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do average height women choose to date you?
DisITGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is ridiculous.
I have a coworker with dwarfism, she is dating a non-dwarf man, my first thought when I saw that was.... Really nothing, it is not even something I ever considered thinking was my business.
Date who you want, when people say something, tell them an IT guy told them to STFU and worry about their own god damned life.
Bigmclargehuge89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm..I've been thinking about what you wrote quite a bit for the last 30-45 seconds and I have come to the conclusion that I would really like a slice or two of pizza.
Shishakli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny... the only objection I have to the idea of a couple being a dwarf and a "normal", is the thought of having to look up and down when conversing with them as a couple.
But then, no matter how I look at it, talking to someone who is lower than me seems condescending. I would be terribly conscious of that whenever talking to someone with dwarfism.
I don't even like talking to children without getting on their level, which I think I've heard is an offensive thing to do to a person with dwarfism
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was recently at a restaurant and there was a girl who was a dwarf on a date with a girl who was missing an arm and had a cochlear implant. The way they were looking at each other was so sweet and you could tell they really liked each other. A man at the table next to me said "guess they met at freaks anonymous, huh?" And I almost threw my knife at him. The stigma around minority groups dating outside of their "designated group" is strong and shameful.
Jov_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two questions:
Whenever I see this one dwarf guy waiting for the bus in this city, I wish we could be friends and want to give him a ride or something. Is that weird? Are dwarves ("little people"?) wary or opposed to people being friendly towards them out of bias?
Has Tyrion Lannister / Peter Dinklage's popularity affected your life at all? If so, how?
chortle-guffaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea anybody cared or had an opinion on this.
arostganomo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a well-known dwarf comedian in my country who has a tall wife. One Halloween they dressed up as Snow White and one of the dwarfs because of this taboo, they must've looked awesome.
ymmurri227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen Peter Dinklages's wife.
TheGreatWalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't mind dating a dwarf woman. Im pretty short myself at 5'6", and most of the dwarfs ive seen have been reasonably attractive(although it's a small sample size so might be lucky sample). I don't think there would be any kind of social stigma about a guy dating a dwarf woman, would there?
shitishouldntsay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
6'5 and I love the little women. But I'm to tall for them :(
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so weird, it's not like it's an ethnicity thing where you're more likely to be attracted to your own race, dwarf is not a race except in DnD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy of average height who would totally date a girl with dwarfism, and shocked his coworkers by saying so, I really don't get what the big deal is. I've been attracted to dwarves before. If I want to date one, I'm gonna, and I'm glad my friends and family are more understanding than the people I work with.
dragonfliez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My son has hypochondroplasia, i was told that his dwarfism, given that it was a birth defect rather than genetic, was 1/25000. Other types of dwarfism are much more rare. Given that, even if you dated another little person, what's the chance that you would actually be compatible? People who say you should only date dwarf are no better than, racist and bigots, they must be extremely ignorant, i would find it offensive. Dwarfism is also autosomal dominant, joke is really on normal sized people because the dwarfism gene dominates the fuck out of theres, thats a fun fact i like to throw for fun ;-).
Edit: this fact is sadly also the reason if 2 drawfs where to have children they have a 25% chance of a normal height child, 50% of have a child with dwarfism and 25% of homozygous Achondroplasia/double dominate which sadly results in death at birth.
FeverishPuddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think if you married a dwarf, and had kids that weren't dwarfs, I think that gets you a TV show...
like, automatically or something
/s
(but part of me might really think it does...)
Vadhakara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I never saw that as strange. I see dwarf persons dating people without dwarfism frequently. I never thought there was discrimination. It sucks that you have to put up with that.
A-Grey-World ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe people give a shit.
ficarra1002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will admit I do think "How does the sex work..." when I see a dwarf dating a tall person, but I can't believe anyone would ever say that aloud.
lachalupacabrita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf dude you date whoever you wanna date. That's absolutely none of my business.
sour_kareem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely answering the question. I think even though most people naturally won't be able to directly relate, we can definitely empathize and agree. And for what it's worth, while I feel like it shouldn't have to be said, I feel 100% the way you do about it. You are a human being just as anyone without dwarfism is, and you don't have to be limited the way society at large might seem to want you to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, I never realized that was socially unacceptable.
daithice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is dwarf your preferred term? I've been told that the word dwarf is offensive and that "little people" is more polite, but honestly that sounds more demeaning to me.
toothydeer759 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ty... Tyrion?
rateraterate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A dwarf dated spiderman.
cyncantspell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So.... because you are a dwarf, people assume you want to decrease your dating pool by about 99%? I mean, shit. You said you've never even met another dwarf. People are so ignorant. It's not like you'll meet a dwarf and immediately fall in love. Or even like that person.
misobird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait WAaiiiiTtt.... You mean your real, and not just a mystical medeival myth??
Occamstazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the thread that grew out of your comment, I have found it interesting and educational. I mean that in a sincere and respectful way, although there's no way to phrase it that doesn't sound snarky when I read it back to myself...
Anyway, thanks for a cool thread about a topic I knew very little about. Rock on! :-)
zerocool4221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks I despise people like that, why does it concern them.
On an unrelated note I heard people with dwarfism typically have Problems with their hips (I think that's what it is) and need surgery, is that true?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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zerocool4221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeesh I'm sorry dude, though with advances in medicine recently I bet something will come your way
duckmurderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In my circumstance, it's not the relationship but that you have dwarfism.
I know, sounds like a shitty thing but I get anxiety thinking about how to act as if I'm not looking at you because you have dwarfism which causes me to look at you because you have dwarfism.
I'm just not used to being around a small statured adult and that causes me to act awkward no matter what I do.
I would never tell you who to date, though. Those people are douchebags.
wallieburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dwarf? do you have a battle axe?
lanadelrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You refer to yourself as a dwarf- I was always taught that that is rude and we should use the term 'little person'? Are both terms acceptable, is it only OK for you to call yourself a dwarf but other people shouldn't, or is dwarf better?
Just interested, sorry if its a boring question
BoomerKeith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just talking to my 15 year old son about dwarfism, and how social stigmas are changing/have changed. When I was in elementary school, we had a dwarf come in about half way through the year, and it was really not a big deal for the kids (we were in 2nd or 3rd grade), but the teachers responded horribly. I just remember them being hard on him for lagging behind in line, or having difficulty getting into his chair. Even at a young age, the kids knew that didn't seem right.
Do you think TV has helped change some of the stigmas that were around for so long? I don't think twice if I see a dwarf 'together' with someone that isn't a dwarf. I'd like to think that more people are accepting (and not complete assholes), but I have no personal experience in the matter.
Bacon_Bitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, people are fucking rude. I don't know why this surprises me.
bossk123 ยท 2020 points ยท Posted at 15:19:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Confronting people when they do immoral, unsafe, or stupid things. Most people seem to not be very confrontational. It seems the socially accepted thing is to let people be shitty.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 384 points ยท Posted at 16:52:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is huge. I tried calling people out when they did stupid shit but it was more stressful than it was worth. Most of them probably just kept being assholes anyway.
DogIsGood ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:50:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. The person who is sociopathic enough to be a public asshole is also sociopathic enough to get right in your face for calling them on their shit
FF3LockeZ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:46:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused. Which person are you calling an asshole? The one who made a mistake, or the one who's telling them they're wrong? Because I only ever hear the second person get referred to as an asshole. If you confront people for doing stupid/wrong/immoral things that don't harm you personally, you will be accused of being a judgmental asshole who should mind his or her own business instead of trying to tell everyone why they're wrong all the time.
lasermancer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:52:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your temper and overly judgmental attitude makes me think you're the asshole more often than not.
AerateMark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:52:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the main problem I have with this entire "confronting people" thing. They're probably bad themselves in many ways too, nobody is perfect except they're arrogant and sanctimonious enough to think so.
DogIsGood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an interesting character analysis.
I generally don't confront people who are being pricks in public (I don't think I ever have, actually) for more reasons than the one I mentioned: (1) social anxiety, (2) knowing that yelling at someone in the street is just going to make them defensive, (3) the realization that my view of a person is not a complete picture and I don't know what's really going on.
I do have a temper sometimes, but it never causes me to blow up at people in public. I always try to defuse confrontation.
My point was, if you're a shameless litterer, or music blaster, or line jumper, or whatever it might be that disrespects the rights of others, you're probably making a decision that your needs trump those of the people your behavior is affecting, so challenging you on it will do no good.
SteampunkSamurai ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:39:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard roughly 150 to 500 joules of force transferred from your metacarpophalageal joints to their nasal cavity can rectify that behavior very quickly.
IntellectualEuphoria ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:42:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/iamverysmart
SteampunkSamurai ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:03:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, man. I was hoping for /r/shittyaskscience
461weavile ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:40:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
definitely using this one next time somebody kills me by pushing my nose into my brain
estolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which incidentally isn't a thing that can actually happen
SteampunkSamurai ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay!
MyNameIsDon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not of they're in a position where they're supposed to be respectable. I still light up and say "Hey look! There's the Professor who rear-ended a guy, and then assumed himelf so important that he could remove the worker and his huge garbage collector from the service elevator! What a jerk!" And what is he going to do?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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FF3LockeZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think either of those are the kind of things they're talking about. They're talking about confronting someone because they did a bad job at fixing their own lawnmower, or because they are eating unhealthy food, or because they're gay. I think. If someone is doing something that affects you negatively then there's no social stigma against confronting them about it. The social stigma is against confronting people about things they're doing that are only hurting themselves.
mai_tais_and_yahtzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I think those are exactly the things the OP of this thread is talking about.
Psylink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently had a customer like that, guy was pissed I wouldn't give him a replacement and referred him to contact the manufacturer that would honor the warranty.
He started using Fuck as every other word, I asked him to stop because there were kids behind him. He responded by telling me they didn't fucking hear him and to just sell him the replacement. Told him no and to get out, his face was priceless.
No replacement. No refund. No blow job. Walked him to the door as he then started yelling at the mother of the children.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:13:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem I've encountered is that it's way too easy to come off like an asshole. When you criticize someone's actions or ideas, they tend to take it personally because it is in some way a part of their identity. I understand that feeling because I'm pretty defensive myself - if you've come to the realization that criticism should be taken at face value, think of what it took for you to realize that, and understand that not everyone has had that realization yet. You kind of have to get to it on your own. It's not like you can be really sensitive, and then take the criticism about how sensitive you are very well >.>
shelly12345678 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 19:24:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My thought is, "I'm a citizen of this world too. I get a say in how things go." It helps, a little.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 19:41:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more along the lines of, "I'm going to become a farmer and never talk to any of you again."
zcab ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:37:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more like... "Hey, watch this idiot get hurt."
habs76 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:22:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is why shit reddit says is so stressful ;)
Osricthebastard ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:05:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The trick is to avoid the big dramatic "confrontation speech" because this generally outs you as the emotional/unreasonable one. Calling them out should be a pretty minimal affair. You stare them directly in the eye with the coolest and most confident eye contact you can muster and you say one, maybe two sentences that smartly sum up how you feel about their shit. Then when they try to argue with you, you shut them down and refuse to engage ("that's nice" and "I'm sorry you feel that way" are excellent go to dismissive phrases).
Every time they will back down grumbling the whole time but you'll notice really quickly that a lot of them can't make eye contact with you. They know they're supposed to be ashamed of their behavior, they've just been conditioned by shitty enabling parents to constantly be defensive when confronted.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:27:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Darth_Tyler_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they stopped whatever they were doing after one conversation then they can't have been that shitty.
bigheyzeus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:31:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's easier getting a heckling crowd going if possible. Turn other people to your side and discuss how horrible the offending persons behavior is together. It'll make them feel worse for disappointing more people. I find people in checkout lines can be real pieces of shit sometimes, especially to the cashiers, so I usually strike up a conversation with people behind me about how I'm always finding the lines with the most inconsiderate people in them, etc. We all have a good laugh and the offending person is called out that way. Can't work in every situation but it's effective.
WiFiForeheadWrinkles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As the cashier, I sometimes goad the customer (if he or she isn't physically threatening) get louder and louder until their unreasonable demands are heard by everyone in line and they get laughed at. Most recently, it happened with a man who wanted to return a used potty; he had been told when he purchased it that he could not return it if used for hygienic reasons. Management gave in (as usual) so I brought out a pair of gloves and a garbage bag and whatever else equipment I had. The man hissed at me to stop because his kid "is very clean" and that I was embarassing him.
Ur_bio_dad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:11:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then I'm behind u in line and I start a conversation about how rude it is to talk about people and the whole store starts laughing at you.
bigheyzeus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that'd backfire on me but chances are people agree with me as they've also noticed the person in front of me being a tool. I simply get the ball rolling here.
heartbrokenheartbeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can never do this. a major reason why is because once back in high school two kids got into an altercation, and then one of them pulled the "but heartbrokenheartbeat thinks so too". I ended up getting punished for instigating a fight when all I had done with agree with one of the kids in the fight that the other one was a douche. It also happened at work one time. so from now on, I will never, ever get involved with their shit unless it directly affects me. you'd be surprised how quickly people will leave your side when they think that they might get in trouble. so if you are having an altercation with someone or a problem with them don't put the pressure on us to agree with you or be a part of the problem.
That said, I understand completely why you would think this is a good idea.
bigheyzeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. Pick your battles I guess.
heyitsmikey128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let people die, please. If there are no children involved, we're better off without them.
thisguy883 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I was at a theme park recently for the 4th of July and there was a fireworks show later that night. Well me and my gf found a good spot to watch the show and when it started, this huge mother fucker, and im talking land whale status, decided he was gonna stand in front of everyone to get a better view. I told the guy to be respectful and move so we and the people behind us can watch the show. This fucker looked at me and looked at everyone else and then just turned back around to continue watching the show.
We all ended up moving to a different area just to see the fireworks because of this fat lard ass.
hyeledhtov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:03 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've always been fairly apathetic and laid-back to the point that a lot of people have accused me of being "spineless " or walked upon, but honestly, I've tried caring, I've tried being argumentative and contentious, called people out on things, and it's honestly not worth the exertion. It rarely helps; most people just need to make their own mistakes.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:54 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The key is to find the people that are worth the time and effort. Some people are too much in denial for what I can get across in a short time. I feel like I can help almost anyone, but most people don't want to hear it.
FF3LockeZ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:55:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they're being assholes then there's not really a social stigma against this in the first place. What's socially unacceptable is confronting someone because they did a bad job at fixing their own lawnmower, or because they are eating unhealthy food, or because they're gay. Things that don't hurt anyone else, but they you personally think they'd have a better life or be a better person if they fixed.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:35:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People can't make that distinction anymore. There's a mass of people that think they can do whatever they want because they have a "that's how I was born" attitude, "So, you can't tell me not to piss on this guy because you're oppressing my freedom." They think it's their right to be an asshole and you're an asshole for saying something. It used to be that you would punch an asshole in the mouth, I even got my ass whipped and I deserved it. You can't really do that anymore because the cops will just arrest everyone, not even doing actual police work.
aaktor ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 08:40:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And here we saw the moment when reddit endorsed SRS
maanu123 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:07:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Different definitions of Immoral. If someone did hard drugs I'd probably ask them to stop. If someone made a mildly off color, politically incorrect comment on an internet forum, I'd not give a fuck.
raps_caucasionally ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:03:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling some chick screaming and cursing and hitting her children at the store to fuck off is what we are talking about. Not some racy joke on the Internet that's offends you, or someone disagreeing with feminism or something.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 19:31:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All that's necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing. Or to step on a Lego
Seoul_Surfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even in a serious comment thread, the pull of a dank meme is irresistable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but in modern American society, the greater evil is now seen as telling anybody else how they ought to live. Even having an objective standard of right and wrong makes you a bigot.
It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -Krishnamurti
flying_chrysler ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 17:14:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People drinking and then driving comes to mind. I was at a friends house once, and one of his friends got drunk and then start fooling around near his truck. He starts digging out his keys (he's very drunk at this point) and gets in, and sits for a minute. I asked, are you guys going to let him do that? And they said well he's an adult it's his choice to make shitty decisions. He cranks the engine and drives off. Not 20 minutes later we get a call from him asking us to come pick him and his truck up because he got pulled over. I was like guys, he could have killed someone, and you all didn't even bat an eye.
GoblinGeorge ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 20:57:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
One Friday night, I'm sitting in my house, watching TV and I hear a loud crash outside. A minivan has crashed into the tree in my front yard.
I run out to see if the driver is okay and when I get to his door, he's stumbling out and I'm hit with the smell of alcohol and airbag smoke. This dude is trashed. He starts wandering around, so I reach into the van, turn it off, and try to get this guy to come sit down instead of pacing in the road.
By now, my husband is calling a tow truck and the neighbors have come out to see what's going on, so we're just keeping an eye on the dude and chatting.
He apparently decided that the damage wasn't too bad, despite the radiator being wrapped halfway around the tree and a ton of fluids pouring out of the car, so he stumbles back in and starts it up.
The rest of us all back away to avoid getting flattened, but I run back to look at the license plate before he takes off. As I do, he gets back out and comes to open up the rear door because he can't see with all the airbag smoke still in the van.
When I realize what he's doing, I run back to the driver's door, turn off the van and grab the keys this time. Dude realizes what I've done and sort of drunk-rushes me to get the keys back. I get pushed into the door frame but manage to lob the keys over the van into my front yard.
He wound up getting arrested for drunk driving, I ended up with a fat lip, and our tree has a permanent scar. But no one was seriously injured or killed by that guy that night. Acceptable or not, I will take your fucking keys.
Edit: Thank you, kind stranger, for popping my gold cherry!
kjbrasda ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:46:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You did good. My cousin thought it was a good idea to drive drunk. Wrapped his car around a telephone pole. Killed his girlfriend, minor injuries to the couple in the backseat, but my cousin was in a coma for over a month. He is now in a wheelchair, with limited use of one hand, and has mental retardation. He will live in an adult care facility the rest of his life.
GoblinGeorge ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:08:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry...I can't imagine how tough that is for your family and hers. I wish you guys all the best.
kjbrasda ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:14:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, it was over 20 years ago. I haven't seen my cousin in a long time and I feel guilty for not visiting, but not only is it hard to see him the way he is now, but he can be really inappropriate around females, even if we're related.
largaxis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:09:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should have charged him with assault and battery.
GoblinGeorge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The guy screwed up his own life pretty well enough without me piling on. Plus, I stole the guy's keys. I can't blame him for the gut reaction of trying to get them back.
moocherssuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has both survived being struck by a drunk driver, and very recently lost a friend to someone who was speeding and texting on a residential street.
Thank you.
RANDALLFLA666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had something like this happen. This woman stumbled out of a bar and was walking to her car getting her keys out. My friends and I were trying to talk her out of it, offering to call a cab or drive her home. She refused saying "I've already had a DUI, I know what I'm doing!" She started to back up and hit another car behind her. I had to push my friend out of the way because she was taking a picture of the license plate. We called the cops who showed up 20+ min later saying there wasn't much they could do unless the owner of the hit car wanted to press charges. I really wish I had just grabbed her keys out of her hand. Who knows what kind of damage she caused on the way home...
pootballoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome and really brave of you. It was pretty likely that the guy would have hurt or killed himself/someone else.
GoblinGeorge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to me think of it as brave since I really didn't think about it, but thanks. :)
joe-clark ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:24:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your husband let some drunk guy bum rush you? Good for you for helping the drunk guy. I'm surprised you didn't have more backup.
GoblinGeorge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, actually. He was in the house calling a tow truck and when he saw the guy rush me, he ran out of the house screaming, "Fuck you, I'm calling the cops!" and then pulled him away from me.
Hubs wanted the guy to get home safely but not necessarily get arrested (on that, our opinions differ), but once he saw the guy come at me, it was game over.
mnh1 ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 18:54:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neither did you..
flying_chrysler ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:08:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, I won't make that mistake again. I was very uncomfortable with the whole situation and taken aback quite a bit. After seeing my other friends' complacency, I will definitely act next time I see that. I don't know if that means wrestling the keys away from the person, or calling the cops as they drive off, but I'll be doing something.
mnh1 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:29:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually I find that offering to drive someone home or a spot to rest is all the intervention that's needed. If I'm hosting a party and a guest seems too drunk or tired to drive home, they're usually relieved to be offered a couch or bed or bit of floor to sleep on for a few hours until they're in better shape and can drive themselves home.
In my experience people will make dangerous choices because they're too embarrassed to ask if they can sleep it off or are worried you will be angry over the inconvenience.
In those situations it takes a surprisingly small amount of effort to stop the unsafe behavior. I've never had to wrestle keys away from anyone. A smile and a couple reassurances that I really don't mind is all it usually takes.
flying_chrysler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right on, that is what we do too. This was an odd case, this guy wasn't a personal friend of mine and I didn't really know him. it was in the afternoon and he had no reason to go anywhere, he just out of the blue decided to get in his truck and drive off.
mnh1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:53:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's weird. I'm not sure I'd know how to handle that.
Mackelsaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this particular case is a good example of the human tendency to let unpredictable situations play out without intervention due to morbid curiousity, as well as the bystander effect, where individuals feel less responsible both in groups and when bad things happen because of inaction vs. action.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double post, bruh
Taberkacnkle1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you going to stop your friend from eating fast food because its unhealthy as well?
cjohnson15 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:28:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is fine to offer them a ride or a place to rest, but if you wrestle the keys away from them or call the cops you are a bit out of line. Its their life not yours. That's just my opinion even if it isn't a popular one.
user2196 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:51:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The motivation isn't just the damage they could do to themselves but also the damage they could do to others. Many people's sense of morality motivates them to step in and try to protect innocents where they can, so they'd be motivated to stop a drunk driver even if they wouldn't intervene with someone who was merely harming themselves. The driver's life might be theirs to screw with, but the lives of people in cars they might hit certainly aren't.
cjohnson15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand but i just don't think that anyone has the right to forcibly take the keys from someone. You do make a valid point though, and in a respectful tone (somewhat rare to find on Redditt at times) and I appreciate that.
BlayreWatchesYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.
SheWhoReturned ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:16:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a very similar story, but I ended up getting punched in the face (though I took his keys from him), but he didn't drive home with the girl, he walked.
stewmberto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next thing you know he'll be offering you ghost chups
pwispassword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure where you are but in Canada, if I have a party and a guy gets drunk at the party, drives off and ends up killing somebody, I share culpability and can be brought up on pretty serious charges. And yah, it'd be idiotic to let him drive off, anyways.
XzaylerHW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, "its his choice" I hate this so bad. I don't know what they really mean by it but the way I see it is a kind of "I don't give a shit, let everyone do what the fuck they want as long as it doesn't hurt ME". That drunk friend was only gonna kill a random stranger. "Meh, not my problem, it's his choice". As if adults coundn't be irresponsible retards
pencilears ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
last time this happened near me I stole the girls keys and then hid them in the couch, sat on them, and then told her I didn't know where they were.
she was a waste of oxygen, but I'm not letting her kill somebody if she's too drunk to figure out that keys don't disappear by magic.
a-krule-king ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't you stop him, or say something to him, or even call the police preemptively? All well and good playing saint, but if you didn't stop him you're just as bad.
cactuscat ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:25:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some of us learn that it gets you nowhere most of the time. When you confront a shithead they won't magically stop being a shithead. I agree that it's right to intervene in a situation as it's happening e.g. school bullies.
loljetfuel ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:36:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about them, though; it's about who's watching. I got picked on a lot as a kid... when a peer told off someone for being a dick to me for no reason, it helped me.
That kid was still a dick, but I realized that other people thought so too, which helped with understanding "no, it's not me, he's a dick."
Spinchair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If enough people get mad about something society tends to react as well, i.e. someone murdering you with their face if you were to mention you weren't for gay marriage.
Acmnin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always worth it. Public shaming is always good.
FakeyFaked ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:09:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sooo, like SRS then..
HarryBlessKnapp ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:06:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No..er... that's different!!!
chao77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's different because letting the kid stand in the front seat is an immediate direct physical danger to the child.
bossk123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's SRS? Tried looking it up. Urban dictionary said semen retention syndrome. Somehow I don't think that's it.
FakeyFaked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ShitRedditSays
Razzman70 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:42:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im usually a shy person but one year at six flags there was a lady getting so mad at this one employee who obviously had some sort of disability about too much ice/not the right amount of soda. The worst part of it? All this in front of her 6 year old daughter. After I finished my meal I walked up to her and basically called her out/being a cunt. The look on her face was so satisfying.
caeloequos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:54:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FWIW I think you did well.
[deleted] ยท -32 points ยท Posted at 00:55:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Confronting a women with a child makes you the cunt.
pootballoon ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:17:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure choosing to procreate allows you to be an asshole to others.
[deleted] ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 02:40:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it doesn't, however, it is inappropriate for a man to confront a woman and a small child.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:27:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's inappropriate to behave like an asshole no matter who you are or who you're with.
It's perfectly fine to confront somebody about being an asshole if you do it with tact and without being an asshole yourself.
Mazen_Madrid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:57:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh gold old white knights.
pootballoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I've never heard that before. Is there any particular reason why? (I'm genuinely curious; not trying to troll.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your only other activity on this site is harassing a mother of a trans girl.
You're pathetic.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:14 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you checking my comments? How creepy and weird? I stand by every word I type. Shall we discuss your comments?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:59 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm sorry that someone reading your own comments on a public forum is so uncomfortable for you - well, I mean, not really - but if that weirds you out then maybe you should pull out a throwaway for when you're going to post bigotry. Anyhow, for reference, writing something as stupid as
is advertising that you're an idiot and that your comment history is probably comedy gold. Unfortunately, yours turned out to more sad than funny. Oh well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:29 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My bipolar stuff is on this account because I'm not uncomfortable about my mental illness. shrugs
You sound like a real winner though. I hope your retarded kid rapes you (or is it the hubby who's a potato?) See? Now we're both winners!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:10:27 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes! Someone needs a meds adjustment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:35 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You lowered us to this level when you told me to kill myself, all I did was observe that you're a bigot. How are you not the bad guy here? You made it weird.
Say hi to the potato for me, sucks that they don't make meds for what he has. On the other hand, he'll be your little child forever, won't he? How nice.
caeloequos ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:55:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because....then maybe the kid will see it's not nice to be a douche? Parents don't get a free pass because of their little snowflakes.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:13:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lavagasm ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:10:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell?! I've never seen that in my life. Where do you live where people think that is acceptable?
megagreg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everywhere before the 80's.
nc08bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a drive thru And see it every day
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:09:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, speak up. It's the only way to improve the situation, for all of us.
Ran4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This makes you look like a massive dickbag though. Most people do absolutely not want to hear the truth if the truth is that they did something wrong or if they have an opinion regarding something that doesn't match up with reality.
You also have the problem that by telling someone that they're wrong, they might believe even stronger that they're right, even when they're wrong. For example, if you strongly believe that it's a reasonable idea to let people own guns for their own self defence, you're not going to back down on your opinion just because I'm currently telling you that you're wrong. In fact, you're probably agitated at me right now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:47:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck 'em. If I know I'm right, and they insist they're wrong, I don't have time for them. I don't want to associate with people incapable of admitting they were in the wrong. People who don't admit they were wrong never make any progress in life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I give exactly 0 fucks. I like to think I'm a reasonable person, but I'm also not averse to confrontation. If they want to get up in my face about something they shouldn't be doing in the first place, I'll gladly get back up in theirs.
At least they'll have that confrontation in the back of their mind the next time they decide to engage in shitty behavior.
SuicideSue ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:16:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried, even had video proof of a douchebag committing his actions. He got away free because his brother is a cop. Not the first time the cops have wiped away something for their personal gain in my life. :(
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:47:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least you got the satisfaction of voicing your concern.
SuicideSue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But when the cops pretend it matters when they secretly throw it out the window, that hurts way more than any satisfaction of voicing it. No clue why I'm being down voted, I'm clearly reporting crappy people, it's not my fault the cops are in on the crimes.
pencilears ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:37:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's true.
there was a teen on the bus, on the packed bus in the heat, (this was last thursday) and he's sitting in that bitch-seat in the elbow with his buddy the pre-teen. (white boys, couple of bro pupae as far as I could see) so mr cleverdick grins to himself, and in a seeming demonstration to his protegee, gets out one of those little travel spray things of AXE and proceeds to douse himself with it. armpits, back, neck, he's going at it.
so I call him out. "yo, knock it off, you're on a bus. I don't want to smell that, these people don't want to smell that, nobody does"
teen proceeds to smirk at me. but he stopped spraying the gasseous horror about. and I got off before the fumes saturated too badly.
THEPanduh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:09:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, yes. People get so defensive too. I personally would like to know whenever I do something wrong/stupid so that I can avoid doing it again. Makes complete sense to me but people get embarrassed and offended so easily.
Plastonick ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:34:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the difference between socially unacceptable and self-perceived socially unacceptable.
If I saw someone calling someone out on something, such as littering, I'd be glad that someone felt they could do that and then did that. I don't feel like anyone but the litterbug would feel that they'd crossed a line either.
timbudtwo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I confronted a friend in the major I am in about something he did that offended me. He apologized and actually thanked me for calling him out because he was unaware of doing it, and also aware he is capable of it and is trying to work on that. Better because of it
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah, man. I have noticed the same thing. People turn into spineless pussies when someone else's immoral and shitty behavior doesn't directly effect them.
CRCasper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. People, put your phone away while driving. Nothing is more important that keeping your eyes on the road while you're in control of a two tonne vehicle.
bossk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm super big on that one. Its tempting sometimes, but when my phone goes off while I'm driving I just ignore it. No text is worth causing anyone even a small amount of pain, time, or money.
Zomg_A_Chicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bystander effect?
SocialistJW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are conditioned to avoid confrontation by the people who benefit from being shitty.
lets_trade_pikmin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. A big thing is when people are driving recklessly -- not checking blind spots, texting, plowing through cross walks, etc. All of my friends will just try to stay out of the way. You should always honk or try to communicate in some way. Getting out of the way won't stop them from endangering others in the future.
-WhenTheyCry- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was with you until the "immoral" part. Whose morals are your measuring stick?
bossk123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on people for the thousandth time obvious shit like a dude slapping his wife, someone attempting to get in their car while drunk, or when someone questions the divinity of Emma Watson/Chris Pratt/Jennifer Lawrence on the internet.
ar-pharazon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, yeah. I'm not responsible for anyone's moral compass or personal safety but my own. If someone wants to be stupid (and they're not hurting anyone else), who am I to step in and stop them? It's not my problem and its just going to make them angry, so it's not worth my time to intervene.
spacecadetdani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We called out someone being a total dick about stealing a reserved park bench area and she not only refused to do anything or move her stuff unless an authority figure MADE HER do it, but she brought her daughter to the park to try and argue with us. We moved her shit to another table not in the large party area for her. Not to the trash, just to another table away from the guy who had originally booked the spot. When they tried to put it BACK ON THE TABLE we went back over again and asked them to stop. I'm like "you're being a dick. Someone has to stand up to you for trying to ruin someone else's birthday due to your own poor planning." Her daughter squared up on me but eventually backed down. I wished her son a happy birthday and said 'have fun over there lady'.
friskfyr32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people avoid pointing these things out, because most people are intelligent enough to know, that their sense of morals, stupidity and safety is not universal.
...
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Or most mind their own business unless they are directly effected. Unless it places me or a person I am with in danger I couldn't care less if another human is about to hurt themselves, die, etc. They have to learn somehow, and if their stupid enough to get themselves killed do that then they'll just find another way to do it again later.
GoogleFloobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did this with my racist uncle last night. Proceeded to get left out to dry by the rest of the family.
urankabashi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many times from my youth I regret standing up to a bully. Shit doesn't fly anymore tho. If you're an adult man/woman the fuck up
PRMan99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny. This is the exact opposite of "being a giant slut" and many of the other thing on this list.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We need examples of what you have in mind.
LinuxMakavry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Everyone I know gives people shot when they do stupid shit. And when we saw a bunch of kids doing something that could potentially get them killed we stood around and yelled at the one being encouraged to ignore their friends who were being stupid.
Bourne_Seduced ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It takes a little bit of courage to speak up against someone's wrongdoings. Most people are afraid to invite the fight into their lives. Then one day those same people ~snap~ once they've had enough.
FuckedByCrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that leads to shitty people getting indignant when you call them out on their shitty behavior. Every single person who avoids calling out shitty behavior is just as responsible.
Illusions_not_Tricks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with that is morals, safety and intelligence are all relative. Enforcing moral beliefs on others is for religious nuts. And if a stupid person is doing something stupid or dangerous, unless it interferes with your safety I'd say you're just nosy and have a superiority complex.
KallistiTMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To an extent. Or rather, yes, as long as it's done in a respectful and productive manner. I worked tech support and a lot of the baby boomers would be confrontational just to be an arse. Difference between "That's dangerous, you should stop" and "You're a fucking moron, I hope you loose your nutsack". Generally I find that if you call people out on their shit in a respectful manner, it actually develops mutual respect. Only really found that with millennials and gen X'ers though, baby boomers are just so entitled they respond to any criticism with petty insults and name calling. They just can't accept responsibility for their own actions, they always have to blame someone else for their problems.
jgirl33062 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they lovvvvve to gripe about it on social media, or call some authorities. Cowards.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to make fun of people in these situations. I knew a guy who drove drunk sometimes, and people would talk about it behind his back but never confront him. Now, I'm not his mother so I'm not going to scold him. But I am a person who knows him, so I just started making fun of him for it one day. Nobody got pissed. It stayed friendly. And he knew that we were aware of it, and it was not being overlooked.
GOBLIN_GHOST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a very confrontational person, but there's a huge difference between knowing to stay in your own lane and avoiding confrontation. I prefer to let this whole beautiful fuckpit of a planet go about its business unhindered until something directly affects me.
cakeisgreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's kind of annoying when people try to be moral police all the time, except when their actions are affecting others.
slow_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honking.
Seriously. Why don't more people honk when someone drives like an asshole
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you knew a way of living was very likely to involve them in harm, would it be loving to say nothing and just "accept" their lifestyle?
It is a real tension in our present society, at least in America, where you are considered evil for attempting to tell anyone they maybe shouldn't do what they are doing. For any reason.
Especially moral reasons. If the moral reason doesn't involve harming others, it's apparently hands off, shut up, be happy for me, keep it to yourself.
Modern morals in a nutshell: don't hurt anybody, unless there's a good reason, and do what feels good. The end.
Cultural norms are there for a reason. Not every tradition is worthwhile, but throwing off all restraint results in harm, which we as a species have learned through long lessons. Monogamy, for instance, results in both parents being there to raise a child, ideally. Broken homes are not healthy for the child. Marriage is a good commitment.
Fatherless families, children being raised by grandparents because of irresponsible young parents, the spread of STDs, all are results of promiscuity being seen as perfectly healthy.
JulitoCG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean...what kind of things? If it's something that could hurt you, a loved one, or the public at large, sure, say something. Some people do this crap about minor stuff, though, like when you tell an off-color joke that they feel could offend someone.
Besides, what's moral and what isn't? Some people would walk around heckling gays, and other people would go around heckling gay hecklers, etc, etc. It's just better if we keep to our own business.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would confronting someone who does something immoral be considered socially unacceptable? did you not read the question and decide to just start patting yourself on the back?
thefray777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all of us get very defensive when someone else confronts us. That's why it's so hard. If everyone were better at self-reflection, and were more willing to confront others, they'd be more cooperative when confronted themselves.
Imo, someone who can never be confronted about anything, no matter how much they're harming themselves, is a narcissist. If they can't acknowledge that they're capable of doing something wrong or stupid, then they're full of themselves.
bossk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not being able to own up to your mistakes is one of my biggest measures of someone's character. We all suck at something, and we all make mistakes.
englishmace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this. The question is, what do you want to achieve? Do you want to vent your anger / annoyance, do you want to look good by being moral, or do you want them to stop doing X?
If you want the last one, the thing I've found that works best is to be super polite and concerned for them / their safety. Earlier today I passed three people walking abreast on the bike side of a busy bike/walk path. Two cyclists had to slow down or swerve around them in the thirty seconds I watched.
Now, this place is really well marked. They knew. But I go up all, "Oh, hey, don't know if you guys saw, but actually the orange path is pedestrians? Yeah, it's pretty cool, right? I just saw you guys, and there's a corner right here - I don't want someone to come around it and not see you!" and a) they can't bitch me out, b) they're embarrassed enough to walk on the right side.
bossk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Concern is definitely a great way to respond to somebody doing something unsafe, or stupid. I generally confront people that way when it comes to safety especially. However, I am a soldier, and derision/yelling comes out of my mouth sometimes.
englishmace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. It's not always possible, or easy. But I hope it's likely to at least make them think about it in a bit more of a lasting way...
fannypacks4ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd only step in if they were bothering other people. Usually the people doing ignorant things will continue to be ignorant after being confronted.
dragoninjasasin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Previously I was living my life with a mantra of tolerance and accepting of all things. Some events within the past year have led me to believe this idea isn't as pure as I once thought and that there are some things that I shouldn't tolerate. Some people that I shouldn't tolerate and that my life will be better if I can better distinguish between when it is appropriate to tolerate someone and when it is not.
bossk123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The right answer is probably somewhere between your original high tolerance views, and my low tolerance views towards asshats. Maybe Reddit has the right answer, and the problem is not enough cats.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not the socially accepted thing, It's just that like you said most people don't like to be confrontational.
Osricthebastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've been working on this one lately. It's hard to break the years of social conditioning intended to essentially make you too spineless to ever do anything other than mind your own business. But slowly and surely I've been "nutting up" to people.
That mother fucker cut you in line? Fucking stand up for yourself. Don't sit there and grumble behind him and stare daggers at the back of his head like that's accomplishing something. Grow a spine and tell him to move it to the back of the line. You know what I've discovered? People who do shitty entitled things tend to be gigantic cowards. Oh they love to pop off at the mouth at you when you call them out on shit but they'll do it as they slowly move to the back of the line. Let um run their mouth. You give them the coolest and most confident eye contact that you can (and remember kids, don't ever argue with stupid) and inevitably they will back down.
That's why they do shit like cut you in line. Because they're cowards with an inferiority complex and they feel an absurd need to "get theirs" somehow or the other. Cutting you in line is just a petty extension of that need. If they weren't insecure in the first place they wouldn't have done it so be pretty confident in knowing that if you just stand up to them you're already bigger, badder, and more alpha than they are.
bossk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is certainly true. Most of those people are cowards, and they fall apart upon confrontation. It obviously depends on who confronts them though. Sometimes they are hoping someone "weaker" than them will say something so they can act all tough.
Osricthebastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weak or strong is in the eye contact. I am not a large man by a mile. I'm 5'4'' and a wee bit scrawny. They still back down from me because my eye contact says I'm not taking any of their shit.
bossk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. How you carry yourself is more important than actual physical stature.
SparkyPantsMcGee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I've learned it has less to do with people being ok with people being shitty. It's that most of the people acting this way are usually dangerous and violent.
When you have a life, kids, and solid job the last thing you need is a fight with some asshole on the street because he parked in a handicap spot and dumped his trash all over the sidewalk. You never know what the other person is capable of or if he's fucking crazy. So unless you can actually take care of yourself/aren't afraid of death or jail it's usually best to shut up and silently wish he gets hit by a bus.
spygirl43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I call people out all the time when I'm commuting on the train and I'm the only one doing so. People don't even give pregnant women seats. I once saw a woman tell someone with a disability that she wasn't going to give up her seat. I tore her a new one and she was so ashamed she got off at the next stop.
amdnivram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it is more of awareness to consequences of not minding your own business
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me I think it's just the town I currently live in, because I come from a place where if someone has a problem with you then they'll fucking tell you and you deal with it right then and there. When I moved here, everybody is too damn afraid to say what they really think and it annoys me to no end. I've always gone ahead and said whatever I needed to say. Here it seems I have to notice that someone has an issue and then pry it out of them so it gets fixed. People here dance around the the problem like it doesn't actually exist.
FearTheCron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The one place I am glad to say this seems to be totally acceptable is rock climbing. I have talked to a number of people about safety related stuff and 99% of the time its a very civil and constructive interaction.
bossk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well certain activities luckily don't attract too many knuckleheads. Usually positive activities attract positive people.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. I strongly believe in the power of social comdemnation for bad behavior. It doesn't help - the people will still be assholes after work. But at least they know people notice that they're assholes. I will call people out for cutting in lines, littering, allowing their children to behave badly in public, or any one of a number of other things. They can hate me if they want. I usually notice at least one or two other people giving me silent looks of approval. If everyone did this, we would have much less bad behavior. African people and the bullies rely on the fact that most people are so scared of confrontation they will do anything to avoid it. I tried to break that pattern.
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend is good at this, boy does he call people out. He got into a fight with a woman trying to cut the painfully long financial aid line at school. Her argument was that she didn't ask him, and that she wasn't cutting in front of him, because the guy she wanted to cut was a few people a head. Reminded me of the scene in Dead Like Me. Only no one clapped, just nodding in agreement that the chick was a bitch.
So instead of getting to the back she stared angrily at us from the sides, further wasting her time. She also shouted, in broken English, "Fuck you in the ass". It was funny.
Bossmang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one is a tough one for me. I don't want to die, haha. Additionally...a lot of the times you could make a great case that people simply aren't equipped/have the experience for the confrontation and that it would be more harmful than good for them to try. If you are having a really shit day...you might not be the best person to start talking a person down from jumping from a ledge, etc.
ElectroBoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather let them do whatever they want then have them start arguing about it with me
tsuki_toh_hoshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My SO yelled at this kid walking down the street in NOLA because he threw his chip bag on the ground. Kid picked it up though!
sharingan10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you make a good point, although there's a tendency to get people stirred up into mob justice over some pretty innocent things.
Like this Guy taking selfie with darth vader cutout
I don't know what the right solution is, and many times I've called out people with obnoxious/ homophobic signs who wave them in my face, but I'm not sure I want shaming to be too socially acceptable
Deadbreeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't stop Darwinism!
jMyles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I confront people readily when they're being shitty, and I've never been made to feel bad about it.
elliotron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real. I saw some mom backhand her kid at work and I'm like "Hey, don't do that!" and I got yelled at by her and then my boss says, "Mind your own business."
Also, getting fired for saying "yeah, well she should keep her hands to herself" was totally worth it.
Dorfalicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was pushed out of my job for standing up to a manager after I got sick from something at work. HR knows they denied it but it's a boys club. What kills me is now in hearing multiple stories where this has been an issue for others in the workplace too:/
korravai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think most people (except perhaps the receiving party) would not judge you for confronting stupid behavior. However most people are also pussies and won't do the confronting themselves. So it's not that it's socially unacceptable, we're just all passive as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If it's only harmful to themselves and they're an adult who appears to not be mentally ill/disabled or anything: mind your own business. Seriously, I just can't back you up on that. Leave them be.
If it's harmful to others: your call. Morally, I think you're in the right, but my only caveat is: be damned sure. Meaning that you better be right - if you interfere with something I'm doing simply because you misread it and turn out to be wrong, presuming your misreading of it wasn't something most people would've done (that is, they'd have known better), then I'm not going to give a damn about your alleged "good intentions", I'm going to give a damn about the fact that you just fucked shit up and should've known better.
winter_mutant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Immoral yes, but unsafe or stupid things are a gray area IMO. If they aren't aware of the risks then tell them, but if they're strangers or they are aware of the risks then leave them to it. For example don't bother some random alcoholic about the dangers of liver failure, but if your friend doesn't understand that alcohol is bad then you really should tell them.
Obviously this is assuming that everyone who could be harmed by what they're doing is also aware of the risks and willing to take them. So for example you can be as obnoxious as you want (within reason) to someone who's about to drive drunk.
gEazyIsTheBeesKneezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was looking to see
Chaos_Philosopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love those looks I get when I successfully manage to broach these topics openly, publicly, and respectfully, with compassion for the offending person.
People just stop, stare and think, "How the fuck did he just do that? He stopped and spoke about a challenging thing and no one feels awkward. WTF?" I feel like a God every time! It's the best! You've just got to fully be in the shoes of the transgressing person,and treat them with love and perspective.
dinosaurwithatophat_ ยท 2728 points ยท Posted at 14:53:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not sure if it's unacceptable but striking up a conversation with a stranger. This happend to me last week on campus and it was very nice. It seems to me that many people rather stay in their own bubble and prefer to be on their phone if they don't know anyone.
(Edit: I never said that I approach people, just that I think it's nice. Also 'hating' a person you don't know is a bit over the top for having an opinion you don't share)
Crown4King ยท 1224 points ยท Posted at 17:27:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really depends where the person is from I think. I met a cute Ukrainian girl at my train station last week, she accidentally bought the wrong ticket and asked me a question. We then spent the next 45 minutes talking and sitting next to each other, traded information and the hugged when we hard to go our ways... It's nice to meet people.
orange_blanket ยท 1293 points ยท Posted at 18:27:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did u have a Freudian slip by saying "hard" instead of "had"
Crown4King ยท 537 points ยท Posted at 19:27:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably
Harbltron ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:12:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I hope she doesn't feel my boner... or do I? Shit. What is the procedure here"
JohnnyBratwurst ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:36:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stranger Boners: A Memoir
OldTimeyPugilist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Invading her like Putin probably isn't the way to go.
Danni293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you got her number or something or stayed in touch!
Crown4King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She only has Facebook, her cell phone doesn't have an American number yet, the exchange people gave her a SIM card but she hadn't figured it out yet.
Danni293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... You talk to her through Facebook right?
Crown4King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. We're just trying to coordinate schedules because we both work weird times. She's only her til the end of the summer so it's kind of crunch time here..
Danni293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I hope things work out. I have a fair share of people I wish I had stayed in touch with after leaving the place we met.
Crown4King ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, so I made damn sure this time!
Agemrepus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:56 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice man... so what was her number again?
kjata ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 22:12:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Freudian slips. When you say one thing but mean your mother.
MrStigglesworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This works better when spoken, but well played.
AtheosWrath ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 01:00:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Bot12391 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:14:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do people even notice things like this?
orange_blanket ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:45:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really tired so I can't read as fast as I usually do. He also said "the" hugged instead of "then" hugged
skydreamer303 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hah im opposite, whenever i reddit at night, i completely miss small things like that.
I have the habit of reading things wrong too. D:
weirdoone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? It strikes my eyes when I read it. I saw that word "hard" the moment I read it, and my first thought was "this is some freudian slip irony shit". Then saw the comment and giggled as someone is thinking just like me.
freudian_nipple_slip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could be another kind of slip
Piece_Maker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just the tip.
CoconutMacaroons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:03 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.
Nix-geek ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:33:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...and where you live. People in different areas have different levels of acceptance when it comes to random public talking. It is much more acceptable where I'm at now, and it took me a bit to get used to the random person behind me in line just blurting something out loud and expecting me to be paying attention.
It makes me smile, now.
Crown4King ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from New York, it's totally a mixed bag. People will be total dick heads when something is a problem in the slightest to them, but then there's a sense of bonding at certain points. Like, there was a small fire in a building down the road from where I work in the City, and at least 100 people were just standing by, watching and talking with each other as if watching the fire department work is just another form of entertainment.
Alagane ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:26:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Based on what I've heard from tourists and travelers, people from the US generally are more open to striking up a conversation than a lot of other places. And people from the south are more likely than northerners.
TheseMenArePrawns ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:55:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Size of an area matters a lot as well. The smallest towns I've lived in or near were pretty much gossip mills no matter where they were located. Unfamiliar faces got chatted up pretty quick.
Crown4King ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good old southern hospitality
doommonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where are you at now, if you don't mind me asking?
Nix-geek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eastern North Carolina, USA. It's a friendly place.
obavijest ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:57:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not so much as to a person's background, but how the conversation starts in the first place - in your case, it was acceptable because of the situation. I'm sure someone would be more willing to continue a conversation if you asked them about train tickets in a train station, rather than asking their opinion on current events in line for a coffee.
That being said, it's easy to talk to strangers if you know how to properly segue...!
Crown4King ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:26:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, once the ice is broken it's so much easier...
bobthejeffmonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or if you can properly segway.
"Hey you know when the next train to wherever is?"
"Nah but I got a segway if you want a ride there"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:59:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So when's the wedding?
my_cat_joe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Long distance train travel is great for this. I'm an insomniac, so overnight on a train would be hell, but I just head to the dining car with a deck of cards. It only takes a few hands of solitaire before you're playing poker or rummy with some stranger. I've met some great people that way. No regrets.
Jay_Bonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SpacePirate003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ukrainian girls. The only female strangers that have ever talked to me like we were best pals have been Ukrainian girls. How do I know? Because we became good friends afterwards. Is Ukraine like European Canada?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meeting people on planes and trains is my absolute favorite
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you have a chance with her.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Europe is very different in this way. It's far more common for strangers to interact. Especially in situations such as trains and restaurants.
Crown4King ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is that she was all smiley, but during out conversation she mentioned how Russians and Ukrainians don't smile very much unless they're actually happy. (Good sign?)
She ask that they'd rather not use those facial muscles for no reason haha.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is, they are rarely happy. ;-)
01110001010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is an every day occurrence in Alabama.
sir_ramen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds fantastically pleasant.
Savipalooza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How was the sex?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
North Americans tend to have much more of a shield up about that sort of thing than people in other countries.
Ridry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from NY and I'll talk to lost tourists all the time on the train. If another NYer tries to talk to me they must be nuts though...
RemoveScrotum ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:37:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so you passed up an opportunity to get laid. what a waste.
Savipalooza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They exchanged information, so they might fuck in the near future if they haven't already.
RLsteinofbeer ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:41:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be honest here, that didn't happen
Crown4King ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:47:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Legit, 100% happened, she's almost 19 and is doing an exchange program thing in my town like a mile from my house, it was like the Twilight Zone... hopefully hanging out with her Thursday. Fingers crossed for me, Reddit.
CJ101X ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:52:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck m8
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:45:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Crown4King ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:53:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do it up!
MrDerpsicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn man you're lucky as fuck. Good luck. :)
Crown4King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
141_1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do it and report back, we look forward to hearing of your success (hopefully not in the local news)
Speed_Junkie ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 22:41:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're going to blow it because you're a little bitch.
Crown4King ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:07:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Richard!
Speed_Junkie ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:18:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nie ma zo co.
(Or, as is more pertinent, ะัะดั ะปะฐัะบะฐ). Unlike you, I've actually been to Ukraine. Fucking poser.
lokadarr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck does it even matter? Are you jealous that he gets to hang out with a cute girl and you can't?
banesvoice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The butt hurt is pretty obvious
Speed_Junkie ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Szukaj - jesteล kurwa.
Speed_Junkie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:37:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, I couldn't care less and I'm happy for the guy. I'm just messing around.
RLsteinofbeer ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truer words have never been spoken
_crackling ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:07:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have zero problems striking up conversation with strangers if it's clear you or your group of friends are just chillin. Otherwise I respect the fact that you're probably busy and don't need the interupption.
Crown4King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Strength in numbers!
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the contrary though, I know lots of people and don't want to talk to any of them most of the time or any strangers for that matter. And no I'm not real selfish or cynical, I just don't wanna talk about nothing for a few minutes.
GRCA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'll accept strangers talking to me on the condition that they accept me trying to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.
IWillNotLie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:33:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who said you have to talk about pointless topics...?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't know them I'm sure that's most likely what the conversation will be about.
IWillNotLie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:56:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you aren't asking about my charitable contributions or relationship with Jesus Christ I'm totally fine with it.
Zukuni ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 17:14:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aperantly this isn't something that happens a whole lot outside of the US.
Srirachafarian ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:09:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even a lot of places in the US. When I moved from Texas to DC, I swear people thought I was trying to mug them all the time. In Texas it's perfectly normal to say hi to someone who's standing on the corner waiting for the light to change with you.
joegrizzyII ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oklahoman checking in.
If you are driving in a small town, and you don't give a wave to every passing car, you are basically an asshole.
You have to even address the strangers you can't even talk to.
Like, seriously, every. single. driver. waves.
losnalgenes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in NC and its similar to Texas here. If your standing next to someone on the corner your going to be asked "How's it goin?"
Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds nice. Is that only true for rural areas or is it the same for bigger cities?
losnalgenes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a moderately sized city, but its not uncommon anywhere in the US.
Even when I went to NYC people were quite friendly.
(I'll talk to just about anyone)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moved from CT to AZ. I'm sure at first I gave plenty of weird looks to people who were just trying to be friendly, and I thought they were trying to get something from me. Most people in CT mind their own business (at least in my experience).
eskaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I miss Texas. I moved to a small island in the Caribbean and everyone knows each other. They all say "Good Day" or "Good Night" when you pass them. I've decided I'm going to do that everywhere I go. Except maybe like New York City. It's kind of hard to acknowledge every passerby when there are thousands of them.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:01:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK it's considered a bit weird, maybe even rude. I do it on occasion, though usually only when I'm drunk.
markfitzfritzel ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:04:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May I ask where you live? Because up in the north I wouldn't say it was considered weird or rude at all
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:16:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I commute to and from London, the least friendly place in the UK.
I used to be a village lad from Hampshire that'd say "Good mornin'" every day. Now I'm more likely to push people over to get off of the tube in the morning. London really has an unpleasant effect on people. Not that I care, if my time in London has taught me anything, they'd all do it back to me without hesitation. I can't tell if I dislike commuters or tourists more.
markfitzfritzel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:25:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assumed you were going to mention London or at least the south.
I am from and live in Liverpool and I've seen numerous articles,1 quite recently, in the Echo (local city newspaper ) that Liverpool was voted the 3rd most friendly city in Europe (or something to that effect).
The few times I've visited the capital I've found a lot of people to be quite unfriendly.
mexispain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's a southern thing. I'm from Bath and it'd be weird for me too, although I am a bit of a hermit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely, London isn't friendly at all. I don't think I've been to a worse place in terms of that yet. But, one upside of London is that nobody cares about you.
I grew up near a town in Hampshire in a small village. Whenever I went to the town it felt unfriendly, but unlike London, people did care. They cared enough to start trouble over it for no reason. Working in London is lovely in that regard. Nobody cares. Nobody cares if you look different, act different, or generally don't give a fuck. In smaller places they do, probably because the town is a much tighter community in comparison (80k people means you're barely 3 degrees of separation from everyone else from my experience).
I have heard good things about Liverpool though!
finnlizzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crusty Juggler!
endospire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Londoner who used to live in Portsmouth, before I moved here I wouldn't have said that Portsmouth is a particularly friendly place. Now, whenever I'm in Not-London, I'm genuinely a little bit surprised if people smile or thank me for letting them past on the stairs.
London is an incredibly unfriendly and angry city. Like you, I find that it's had an effect on me too and that makes me sad.
TheHardWorkingIngo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:16:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's normal up here? Thank God I never go outside.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived north, Midlands and south, weird in all places
JimmyT91 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah with you on that one. I'll do it sometimes sitting on a train home after a beer or two and people are just like 'dafuqs wrong with this guy?' And if its a girl, first thing they do is drop their boyfriend into the conversation because clearly you're only making conversation to try and get into their pants. British people just wanna be left alone I guess.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much my experience too. I usually back off if people aren't interested. I'm only talking because commuting home is dull and now I'm probably too drunk to operate my phone, DS, or laptop.
icanteatoxtailsoup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the only thing I ask for. I quite often enjoy having someone initiate conversation with me, as long as people respect a polite "no" when I don't feel like talking. I've had people pick up on the fact that I didn't want to talk before I even spoke up about it, and I've had people go in a huff with me when I politely said I wanted to be alone (although that could have been because I was wearing my retail uniform in public before my shift. Hate to break it to you dude, but when I'm off the clock, I don't owe you shit.) I have no beef whatsoever with people like you because you don't act like you're entitled to my time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just common decency really. I generally love it if someone wants to talk, and if they don't I'll probably come here (never text friends when drunk...) When sober I usually don't want to talk since I'm busy working on the train, though it has happened.
This does lead me to think that the whole "Brits don't like to talk to strangers thing" is a bit manufactured. It doesn't seem that way most of the time.
TheseMenArePrawns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me realize how grateful I am to have lived in a lot of places with talkative people and proper public transit. Trains full of drunk/high/whatever people can be a lot of fun. Or terrible. But still.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the UK has excellent public transport. I only really see drunks on the trains around midnight in the latter half of the week, including myself.
AnthonyG23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:20:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... How do people meet potential GF's of BF's?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From my own life and lives of those i know;
Those are the most common, only my grandad meets women on public transport. Though... He has had about 20 girlfriends and two fiancees in the last 5 years, most much younger than him, so he is doing well for himself.
Endur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a bar and had a 30 min conversation with an acquaintance, bought him a drink too. I realized an hour later that he wasn't the person I thought he was and I didn't know him at all
JohnDsk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:15:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, in Sweden that would make most people uncomfortable. Unless alcohol is involved.
losnalgenes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:46:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird not to talk to strangers in the US.
Also, how the hell do bars and clubs work in the rest of the world then? People go to them to talk to strangers. . .
Well not a bar always, I'll go and chill with my friends, but we'll strike up a conversation with anyone who sits by us. Doubly so when people take smoke breaks, its a free for all then.
Its more unusual in somewhere like supermarkets, but by no means socially unacceptable in my opinion. (USA)
que_pedo_wey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably it is, but limited to high-context cultures.
twinnedcalcite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Extremely common to talk to random people in Canada.
Babyelephantstampy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From Mexico City here, it would be weird as hell and, depending on the circumstances (time, place, what have you) it can even make people grow alert. This doesn't seem to be the case in smaller cities though.
GreasyBreakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's something I love about Americans. They'll talk to anyone and want to know your life story while sharing theirs. It's one of the things I look forward to when going to the states.
LaskaBear ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:58:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from the south. It is perfectly acceptable to approach someone and just start talking. Like standing in line? Fuck it talk to the person next to you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love it. Makes running errands more fun if you can chat with someone while in line at the grocery store.
jollyoriface ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:03:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love talking to strangers, all they are is friends you haven't made yet!
wen_but ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:22:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
See, I'd prefer people not to speak to me if I'm alone, because I get really awkward. But if somebody strikes up a conversation, I'll be happy to talk Edit: not, not bot
QUiXiLVER25 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:01:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from an area where almost everybody is willing to stike up some talk. I've traveled places not too far from here where people want absolutely nothing to do with you. Won't even acknowledge a comment. Just glares.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Baltimore. White people here keep their heads down and never talk to strangers unless they have some reason to. Black people, on the other hand, will say "good morning", offer comments on the situation, and talk about (your and their) life to random strangers at any time. It's lovely and I wish everyone did it.
It would also be cool if there were some little accessory you could wear around as a universal signal of "I like talking to strangers", so we could find each other without bothering the antisocial people. Then everyone wins!
joegrizzyII ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to notice the black guys around OKC, no matter where I was, would always give each other the "What's up, brother?" followed by a cool handshake.
I just thought "Wow, like every single black person knows every other single black person."
It honestly took me a while to realize they didn't know each other, they were honestly just being nice to strangers.
People talk about white people hating other races and shit.
Nah, white people just generally don't like anyone. We don't do that shit with each other. Even fucking country club members talk shit about one another. The worst thing I hear about "white privilege" is the idea that if you are white you are magically in this club where everyone else who is white just welcomes you with open arms.
Ya, that's just not the way it is. We hate each other, we just ignore minorities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like people, I just don't want to talk to most of them =/
tonycomputerguy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:30:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I don't wanna get racist here, but I wonder if all white parents have that same talk with their kids... "If you're in a bad neighborhood, keep your head down, don't look anyone in the eye, and walk with purpose... otherwise you'll get mugged."
At least, that's what I was told by my racist white father who was born and raised in downtown Detroit.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:51:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your father gave you horrible advice. Looking at the ground is a sign of weakness and submission and makes you an easy target if someone had those intentions. Avoiding eye contact is the same, don't stare people down(it's seen as a challenge), but acknowledge that you're aware of them. It's pretty rare for a random white person to get mugged in the city. They're much more likely to hit dope dealers, pimps, or rival gang members.
I grew up in a very rough neighborhood and been to prison so this is just based on what I've learned from those situations.
AutonomyForbidden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this on a fairly regular basis. In line at the store..Maybe im out for a good walk and someone is walking the same way I am. Maybe im talking to random parents at the park while my daughter plays. It is fun. My S/O thinks its weird. I tell her, Hey whats wrong with being a friendly guy?
thekontamination ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, on a 2 hour plane ride up to Boston I talked to the guy the next to me the whole time. We talked about everything and it was great to talk to a stranger and hear there opinions and experiences.
The_Number_None ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends look at me like I'm crazy because I'll talk to any old lady walking down the street. Making an old lady laugh with some corny witty joke is the highlight of my day. It's nice to see those wrinkly frowns turn upside down.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Canada, well at least in my province, it's awkward when you DON'T strike up a random conversation while standing next to somebody. I'm always making some sort of small talk, even if it's just about the weather, lol.
hegartymorgan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Ireland, you could pretty much chat to anyone
owenmpowell ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:36:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do that pretty often. It usually goes pretty well, and I feel a little better for the rest of the day!
BEALLOJO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with this comes along when people just don't take social cues. I've had many a quality conversation with friendly strangers, but some people that try to do this really don't know how to shut up when a stranger inevitably just doesn't want to talk to them.
ATCaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
During my short stint at my local community college I decided I wasn't going to be a loner like I am normally.
I dressed nice (khakis\slacks, waistcoat, tie) every day and always smiled at people. I would sit out in the quad or in the life center reading a book, watching games of chess or Smash or ping pong, and generally making myself known.
It was incredible the response I got. People would ask what I was reading (usually All Quiet On The Western Front or a sci-fi book), invite me to join their game, or just strike up a conversation.
I really do regret dropping out sometimes.
BrendenOTK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My only issue is that you never know who you're talking to and if you like talking with strangers, you should be able to recognize whether or not a person wants to have a conversation.
I was at a cafe the other day and the barista had a friend by the counter and they were chatting between customers. While the barista was making my drink her friend started some small talk with me. I managed to get out some short responses, but I wasn't returning much conversation and internally I got pretty anxious. I had planned on staying at the cafe to have my coffee, but I ended up just leaving.
I admit I do use my phone as a barrier to avoid situation like that, but I just haven't reached a point where unexpected interactions like that aren't difficult.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Texas, partner!
Dr-NguyenVanPhuoc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
german here. i went on a 2 months vacation to travel australia and was surprised because of their mentality. they're really open towards others (even strangers) and often start a conversation. it's heartwarming to speak with those nice people. a few times i parked my car, got out, and was promptly invited to a bbq by a neighbor camper - it was my first day on that campspot and i have never met those people before. truly amazing, i miss that kind of interactions in germany
Jtennan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time. I certainly understand people want their own space or want to keep to themselves, but you can tell by their response (or lack thereof) if they want to talk.
I'm in sales so I'd talk to a wall if it would speak back. However, I meet so many cool people by just shooting the shit or chit chatting with random strangers.
TheRealBeakerboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree. My wife complains that I'm a "talker" though. However, I was recently on a flight, seated next to a student from Iran and spoke the entire flight about his experiences in the U.S. and Americans perceptions about Iran. I thought it was a great conversation, and much better than playing Nethack on my phone, or reading the Peter Hook memoir for two hours, as I otherwise would have done.
BoomerKeith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised at how many people go out of their way to not have to speak to strangers (looking at the ground, stopping in mid walk to change direction...I've even seen someone act like they were on the phone...that was a friend of mine).
I've always said "hello" to anyone I pass, and if I'm on an airplane (or anywhere that you're together with strangers for more than 20 seconds) I make an effort to talk to the people around me. I don't try to have in depth, hour long conversations, but I do try to at least acknowledge the other people. It's still amazing to me that some feel so 'offended' by the idea of doing it.
red_sky33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to the Midwest/South. If you're in the right place, you can have a party just with people who happen to be sitting near you.
DoctorOfCoconuts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ABSOLUTELY! I would be more into doing this if I knew people weren't going to "freak" out or think I'm trying to hit on them. Sometimes I just want to meet people and make friends, why is that an issue? It makes me very cynical and just makes me not want to talk to anybody. Most of my experiences have been, "why are you talking to me?" Then again that's probably for the best because then they're most likely people I wouldn't want to be friends with. But again who knows cause they don't want to talk. Crazy cycle, really.
mattsprofile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love when people come up and talk to me. I'm a really lonely person and I have no social skills whatsoever, so I can't approach anyone. But it's nice when someone notices you exist every once in a while.
It almost never happens, though.
mariataytay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently in Disney and one of the things I love is talking to new people. It's super easy because a lot of people have pins that say they're celebrating, or are wearing something I can compliment. I love to give advice to people who are visiting for the first time, and hear advice from seasoned veterans.
The other day I met a couple who were celebrating their 62nd anniversary. They were adorable, holding hands and the like.
electromage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I wish I could do this. I'm introverted, and a freelance IT consultant/PC fixer, so it's hard for me to find new customers. I had a mentor years ago who was a great salesman, everywhere he went he found a new client, and he was in a very niche market.
Just today I was at a gas station and a stranger complimented my car, and I was just sort of caught off guard, mumbled at his remarks, and answered a couple questions very quiet and with as few words as possible. I don't know why it's so hard for me to interact with people I don't know. I'm afraid I come across as rude.
hewhoreddits6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a small town in Virginia a few weeks and and was shocked to find out people actually do this. I'm from the city, so unless I'm at a bar or club I keep my distance from others and they keep it from me. Imagine my shock when an old women sees me at the farmers market and just goes "man, you're tall" and we start talking. Nice experience. 10/10 would talk to a random stranger again.
Falkjaer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as long as you back off when I make it clear I don't wanna talk to you.
Endur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how tired I am. I will desperately try to avoid conversation in the mornings because it takes way more mental effort than I'm able to put forth
iguessimaperson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people in the US generally greet each other. I grew up in CA and almost everybody is willing to have a conversation
Unique_Cyclist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
saw a cute girl on the bus today. Was really eager to strike up a conversation, and was looking for simple ice-breakers/convo-starters... I've come to realize (by the time the bus reached my stop) that I've not striked up a conversation with a complete stranger in such a long time that I don't actually even remember how to do that.
Any other time I've met people we've both either been introduced by a mutual friend or were forced to communicate for whatever work/school related reason..
hughe2mj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't go on long enough about how much this has benefitted my life. I'm a very talkative and outgoing person and work in a customer service industry. I'm really good at finding something to strike up a conversation (e.g. clothing they are wearing) and have never been shy about doing it in any scenario. It's also helped me greatly with networking and getting things I need (or don't know I need yet). For example: In 2007 I was at Rock The Bells in NYC (RATM reunion tour) and missed the last train from NYC back into a town in NJ. Ended up talking with a guy that was in the same situation and had friends that were going to pick him up in Newark and were driving the direction I needed to go. I told him a bit about myself so he felt I was trustworthy and offered cash for the ride. I was very grateful for the ride as I would have been in a tough situation.
No11223456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a very social person, but I'll sit and read articles on my phone when I'm in a place because I love knowledge and learning things. If you strike up conversation with me however, I'll stop what I'm doing and converse because I genuinely like talking to people more.
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the context really. Usually just bringing up a random conversation can be strange, especially if you're a man approaching a woman in a public place. She'll likely assume that you're trying to flirt with her which may be somewhat annoying to deal with. Unless you're attractive.(this trumps most social etiquette)
If something interesting or out of the ordinary occurs in front of us, then I'll usually talk to a stranger or comment on it. Or if there's an obvious shared interest, like someone's wearing a shirt with a band I like on it.
TurtleSayuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love randomly making conversation with someone. Whether it's at school, in line when ordering food, or waiting somewhere. I like it. It helps me have some kind of social interaction.
Mr_Rippe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had great conversations with people I've been sitting next to at a bar. Didn't bother picking up a name, but I really enjoy watching major games on the TVs and talking to the other people who showed up by themselves to watch the game.
goldishblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not acceptable?
Boush117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am so jealous that you people are able to pull this one off.
I am not the most social person ever, so this is really hard for me. Since I live in a small community, meeting people who know me via my mother or something like that is very common. The annoying part is that they usually want to chatter with me. I appreciate that they want to talk to me and I will do my best to talk back, but it just feels uncomfortable since I hardly know these people.
I have stricken conversations with strangers at times (usually I don't start them) and it feels wonderful. However, I am too anxious to pull it off usually.
bcollett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It kind of depends where you are. In the U.S. it's common in small cities; especially in the Midwest. Larger cities on the coast are a hit or miss. Other countries are the same way - hit or miss - I spoke to a German exchange student who told me the largest difference she experienced between the U.S. and Germany was that strangers would converse with one another - something she said is taboo in Germany.
dinosaurwithatophat_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am from germany actually and while it's not taboo per se it definately doesn't really happen. That's why I'm really happy when it does! I also heard from relatives that people in the US greet you casually and stuff like that. But the biggest difference is waiters, they're rude as fuck here (at least at the restaurants I go to) totally different in the uk as well
bass_n_treble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, fuck that. I don't want to talk to strangers in public. I talk to strangers at social events like going out to dinner with friends and they bring someone I don't know. I don't want to talk to some guy named Chad while I'm ordering a bagel and coffee. Fuck you, leave me alone.
drede_knig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Norway people would be weirded out were you to try to talk to them out of nowhere. However, if the two of you have something in common (both are mothers (fathers give silent viking nods, no chatter), their dog runs into you and they start apologizing, you're in a class/work together), then chit-chat is allowed to an extent depending on the situation.
Norway can probably be classified as one of the top ten countries with polite citizens. We might seem very cold (technically, we are), but when there's a reason for communication, you bet we'll be kind as hell (especially citizens of Hell, a town in Norway). A smile on the face, polite answers to all questions, and extremely friendly are traits which can describe a talking Norwegian. Heck, even the jocks and popular girls in school are friendly and including.
So when a situation warrants chatter, by all do means, begin talking. But god have mercy on your soul if you start talking out of the blue, to us, that's like taking the urinal next to yours when all the others are open, awkward and weird.
sunjay140 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get out normie. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Decyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find this acceptable as long as you're not circle jerking yourself or your family.
If you are, I don't give 2 fucking shits about your nephew Olly or how he's smart for his age.
Fuck Olly.
Riggybee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this sometimes, especially if it feels awkward to me. Example: the food court or something, and people keep glancing at me. "hi, I'm riggybee, how are you?" "um, I'm alright, thank you." etc. Just to kind of let them know I see them and also to be polite I guess.
tramplemousse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on how it comes across. I'm very flirty and charming, so if I have the impulse to strike up a convo or say something then I will. Depending on the context of course - going with the flow isn't a license to be a creep.
mbuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually try to give off signs that I don't want people to talk to me when I am in public (headphones in, avoiding eye contact, arm crossed, etc.), so I get even more irritated when random people try to initiate conversations with me. I am not on my phone in public very often, but I also want to be left alone in my bubble.
In regards to it being socially unacceptable to talking to a stranger, I don't think it is. People generally want to interact with other people to different degrees, so I would say it can be a good thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not British, are you?
OutlierJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that is unacceptable, but I do think it can be unacceptable if the person isn't interested.
I'm not anti-social, but I am introverted, and it can take a lot of effort for me to maintain a conversation with a stranger. A 10 minute conversation with a stranger can be just as draining for me as a 12 hour party with friends.
serosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate this.
Even with people I know, small talk is damned annoying.
There is no way to put this without making myself look like the asshole, but I hate talking about mundane shit like the weather or how hot your coffee was this morning. I just do not give a fuck and would rather enjoy what solitude I have left before I die.
sparks1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live in Alabama it's socially unacceptable to not talk to people around you. Don't want to have a conversation in line at the grocery store? You're a rude motherfucker.
So I went to London. Wasn't aware those people don't like to talk to each other. The "tube" is supposed to be a silent place apparently.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Striking up a conversation with a stranger is a good way to pass the time.
There have been many occasions where I'm waiting a taxi/bus and just try to converse with anyone within a certain vicinity of me, a cigarette usually helps.
Chuchoter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this on campus at the bus stop too. Even profs took the bus, so it felt like... it felt like as if they took off their prof-ness and became normal people equal to us commuter students. Sort of like how after actors finish filming a scene and take a break, they revert back to their regular personalities and chat up with each other even if they were archnemeses when shooting the film.
bingletons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind having a conversation with a stranger but it seems like the only ones that actually start conversations with me can't read social cues.
I mean, five minutes of small talk about the weather is fine, but why do I look like I'm the guy to confirm all your ill-informed reactionary and racist opinions.
johnghanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I am from, and places I've been, (mostly North America) it's/very/ common.
dragonbringerx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From the south here. It's not only NOT socially unacceptable it's actually considered good manners to be able to talk to total strangers. There really is such a thing as southern hospitality.
flogmorton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found this out when I moved from New Jersey to Texas. In NJ talikng to somebody was "get away from me potential murderer." And in Texas "stop by the house for dinner some time"
Bacon_Bitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this too and it used to be the socially correct thing to do. It would s rude to not acknowledge someone. Now you see people deliberately playing with their phone to avoid it.
FuckingTexas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Texas it's pretty much a requirement to talk to strangers. I always do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My general rule is that if your going to be spending more than 5 minutes in close proximity to someone, you should get to know them. It's a safety and a health thing. Safety in terms of if you get in trouble or accidentally do something stupid, or just want to know whats good on the menu you got someone back you up. Health thing in the fact that there's a sense of security from knowing people around you and, on top of that, its healthy to socialize whether your extroverted or introverted.
I even reverse it and say to myself if someone near me needs help, I can help them and feel good. It's a part of the whole human being thing we have going for us, we work together, we build together.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to stay in my bubble because I'm shy, I'd love to talk to people but I just can't. I'm sure I could if I tried long enough but a lot of the time I just miss the oppertunity because they leave before I can get the courage up to say hello.
ioweyou90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They say a college freshmen is the most friendly person you'll ever met. Take advantage of that :)
ryewheats2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SoCal this is weird to most people, but back east it was far more common and I miss it.
greenpineapple ยท 5216 points ยท Posted at 14:37:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing things alone. For example: eating in public alone, seeing a movie on your own and so on.
shakey_bakey ยท 1651 points ยท Posted at 15:58:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went and had lunch alone at a cheap Italian place. When I told my coworker, he was flabbergasted that I had eaten by myself at a restaurant. He kept asking if it was awkward, etc. How is it awkward to go out and eat by yourself? I don't get it.
burts_beads ยท 926 points ยท Posted at 16:45:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat alone all the time. I don't think people really see it as weird anymore.
tughdffvdlfhegl ยท 1277 points ยท Posted at 17:30:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really depends on the restaurant. The more casual it is, the more acceptable, I think. It'd be a little weird to see someone getting a 7 course meal with wine pairings alone, but a dude grabbing a burger and a beer at a local bar doesn't even attract a second's notice.
-t0m- ยท 1496 points ยท Posted at 18:35:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the city more than the restaurant. If you're in New York or Paris or something, you'll see people eating alone all the time. Those cities are flooded with business travelers who often prefer eating to starvation.
If you're out in the suburbs, it's probably less common
edit: (because business travelers in the suburbs prefer to kill themselves through starvation)
Tattered_Colours ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 20:17:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Starvation has its drawbacks.
It-Wanted-A-Username ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:36:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know man... I saw this study once that showed an inverse relationship between calories intake and life span. So the less you eat the longer you live.
Ah, here it is.
malus93 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:41:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...this could explain how limiting calorie intake without malnutrition extends life span." (without malnutrition) Damn, so close.
Zykium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Die like the rest of us you bastard.
The_Marster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannot confirm.
Source: starved
Interobanged ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:43:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Tried to kill myself working in the suburbs.
jaayyne ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:54:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, I'm gonna need a source on that. That sounds pretty far-fetched.
El_Profesore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[citation needed]
u38cg ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:07:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that doesn't sound like Paris
__Shadynasty_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:56:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the suburbs and constantly go out to eat by myself, it's honestly very nice and I've never been treated oddly for it. I also leave at least a 30% tip every time.
Only real problem is that older men will assume I want their company sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:50:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bromlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just what people do these days. It's pathetic.
Big_Baby_Jesus_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I traveled all over for a few years. Eating some of the best steaks in America, while charging the bill to a client, was pretty great. It definitely was better than starvation.
alfa-joe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto here. Have eaten alone a lot, on business trips, and at 3 am in Las Vegas.
RentonBrax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love a good dinner alone, especially with a good book or podcast to listen too.
Source: Nourished business traveller.
a_catwork_orange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heck I live in NYC and eat alone all the time, I go to bars alone, I go to the park alone, and museums and basically whatever I feel like doing. I don't always have time to wait for friends, life's too short and I make news ones along the way when I'm out by myself. Sometimes a group holds you back from truly enjoying yourself.
Dokpsy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, we just order delivery and eat in the hotel
violated_tortoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, I work in a restaurant in rural England and lone diners are very rare and always surprise the staff.
kevin9er ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything to get out of there
psycho_admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This. I have traveled for work and never had any issues when I have eaten at a restaurant by myself. Now granted I usually will let the waiter know that I am in town for business and then ask what are their specialties. This usually warms up the situation and gets me pretty good service and good suggestions.
Pototatato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Water doesn't give a shit why you're in town.
psycho_admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:14 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then evidently you don't know water.
StesDaBest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I'm an American in Tokyo for the summer, and it's really common to eat alone here. No one bats an eye really. Only at certain places is it hard, but if they have a counter, its the best because you'll get to eat faster than couples and groups.
kembervon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the suburbs, and I go out to eat alone all the time, and I'm always the only one in the restaurant who is there alone.
LilBobBelcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But...but you didn't edit.
Loliepopp79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote purely for the edit : D
FaridZeineddine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starving alone? What a weirdo
jonsoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating to starvation sounds difficult to me...
Speed_Junkie ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:30:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well done on not understanding English. Bravo.
Deculsion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:42:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, he may not be a native English speaker, or is having a brain fart.
jonsoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. (Or...a lady and a scholar, I suppose). Thank you for defending my comment.
My first language is English, and I was just pointing out a second way to read this statement. I guess it wasn't that well received though.
biosc1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even here in Vancouver, which isn't a huge metropolis, it is still totally normal to see people done alone. Usually I see people with a book or something to entertain themselves.
burts_beads ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:43:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, I'm usually eating alone at fast-casual type places. I've noticed getting breakfast alone seems to be more normal, even at nicer places. I can't say I go get expensive dinners alone, just because that's a luxury to me so I only do that with friends.
sunjay140 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:25:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have a seven course meal all alone.
BurtDickinson ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:27:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually know somebody that does it at extremely expensive places. His rationale is that he's not going to miss out on an epic once a year meal because he can't convince another person that it will be worth $400 dollars. In fact, once he explained it to me it helped me make sense of the fact that when I was at a two michelin star restaurant there was a guy there eating by himself drinking a shitload of wine and asking the wait staff everything they knew.
feb914 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i do that for all you can eat sushi place. i don't like rolls (too much rice, too fulfilling) while others tend to like rolls. rolls come in an order of 4/6, so there's always leftover that i have to eat too. i'm often laughed at when ordering a lot of food too, so i tend to only order a bit less than i'd like.
so i often eat alone just so that i can order to my heart's content without rolls, without being judged for eating too much (though the servers tend to force me to stop or reduce my orders).
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:48:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised, lots of business travelers eat fancy alone, they are used to it. I used to travel a lot, I didn't eat fancy every meal, but I did occasionally.
pattyhax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My job had me traveling alone for a while with a certain amount of money each day for meals so I'd go out to restaurants every night. It only takes 1-2 times out to get over the stigma of dining alone, especially once you realize no one else gives a shit except you.
sometimes_i_wish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:47:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read an article before that you actually get better service and extras as a single person eating in a high end prix fix restaurant. The rationale is that you're really there for the food so they pay more attention to you and/or provide extra courses.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time I got stood up by a tinder date at one of my favorite restaurants. It's pretty small so I didn't want to inconvenience the owner by cancelling. Went it, had at least 5-6 (small) dishes with appropriate sake pairings and went home. Always wanted to get stood up at least once to see how I'd react. I think I nailed it. Would bang the owner too.
NorthernerWuwu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:34:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a strangely-shaped curve at least. Closer to the top end of dining it becomes actually not uncommon again for solo diners to come by.
MangoPDK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It'd probably be easier if the fancy place has booths, I know I'd be much more comfortable than if I was at a table in the middle of the floor. I'm a little biased though, I'd prefer a booth even if I'm eating with friends.
Bunnyhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I got out alone I tend to prefer a booth.
SirMike ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've done paired tasting menus at Michelin starred restaurants by myself. Sometimes it's nice to just not have to worry about conversation so you can just enjoy your meal and really concentrate on all the different flavors working together. I usually bring a book to keep me company, but sometimes never end up opening it.
In some ways, it makes more sense than the more casual places to me. The high-end places are usually where the chef is trying to tell you a story through food and has paid painstaking attention to every little detail, so being able to just let the meal speak to you can give you a much better appreciation for the experience. Grabbing a burger and a beer is a more social proposition to me.
Linderella ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to go away for work, so on the companies expense I had a 3 course meal in the hotel restaurant by myself... and i mean by myself there was no one else in there
With_Hands_And_Paper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm working abroad I eat out by myself almost always and once I happened to be away for my birthday so I proceeded to go into a fancy restaurant and consume a 75$ meal by myself, I thoroughly enjoyed my huge meal and gave it all the attention it deserved without having to divert the attention toward someone else, it was a really great experience once you get past the visibly uncomfortable waitress and the people giving you weirded out glances while you just gobble away your food with a smile.
10/10 would do it again next year
Perk_i ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a useful trick at fancy restaurants - especially up and coming ones. Several times while traveling and looking for a good meal I've walked in by myself on a weeknight, without a reservation, and dressed just a little casually for the restaurant in question. The wait staff assumed I was a food critic, set me up at a good table, and occasionally hooked me up with off-menu specialties. The first couple of times I didn't think anything of it, just figured it was normal excellent service, but I've since had several waiters ask what website I write for at the end of the meal.
Name42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're 70 or older....then I'll assume your spouse just died and that's why you're alone. Then I feel sad for you for no reason. That might just be me.
boomfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put on your fancy duds and go to a nice restaurant.
shnnrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont worry just pretend you are a food critic
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Creosote ate alone
MissLizabeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once noticed a girl eating by herself at a two Michelin star restaurant. I eat by myself all the time, but I would never think to go alone to a place with a $200 tasting menu.
feb914 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:53:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you would if all you care is the food taste. eating alone lets you enjoy the flavour more.
MissLizabeth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok- maybe I'm just poor :-)
nbtscan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ate alone at one of emeril's restaurants in New Orleans, while on business travel. I made a reservation for one, put a tie on, and got the 6 course meal with wine pairing. Truffles just got in season and I was the first to order them that year. The chef actually greeted me at my table with a whole truffle. Truffles are super rich and each course only had shavings from the mushroom. I ended up spending a week's worth of per diem in one night for that meal!
It was a wonderful dinner by myself. At the time I traveled a lot and always ate alone. So, it was not unusual or ackward for me at all.
darsinagol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an older guy come into our restaurant and had a 4 course meal and over a half bottle of wine just chillin by himself. I sat and talked to him a bit but he was just hanging out treating himself on a Friday night. I think its completely normal.
DiscordianStooge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kingpin could eat a 7 course meal with wine pairings alone.
meowwwitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did that exactly (7 course with wine pairings) at wd~50 in New York before they closed. I couldn't get anyone to cough up the money to go with me and sat at the bar, although they had reserved a table for me. The servers guessed (correctly) that I was in the restaurant industry and kept my glasses full all night & chatted me up ;)
Didn't feel weird at all, but I am someone who frequently and happily eats at more casual restaurants alone.
I hate when someone goes to do something alone and spends the entire time on their phone talking. I've seen it many, many times. That does not count and you're obnoxious.
hideyourarms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was an intern in Philadelphia a few years ago and knew no one in the city, I'd have every Monday off so I started "posh lunch Mondays" going to all the fancy places in town and having the lunch special on my own. It was great, staff were nicer, you got your food quicker, and since it was a quiet day for business I always got a great table.
Uncle_Erik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, no, not at all. I'm 42 and spent about ten years of my life in relationships. I've been engaged twice. But I've also spent many years single and I am right now. I don't know if I'll get into another relationship. If it happens, it happens.
Anyhow, I go anywhere and everywhere by myself. Hole-in-the-wall ethnic places to nice restaurants.
If anything, the nice restaurants are easy to dine solo at. Many times, I've been able to skip lines because they have a small table for one or two open, while those in parties have to wait. I don't do anything special for this. I go in with a smile and make a little friendly small talk with the person up front. Ask if they've been busy and tell them that they're doing a good job if they say yes.
One person is easy on the waitstaff. I don't ask for substitutions or special orders and never send stuff back. I want my water refilled a few times, but that's no big deal. Then I leave at least 20%.
From what I can tell, the restaurants like this just fine. After I've gone somewhere three or four times, they usually remember me and some places ask if I want the same thing and know what I like. (Hey, I'm predictable.) I don't think that would happen if I was being a pain in the ass.
skittle-brau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also depends on culture. South Koreans (based on my trip there and also from asking Koreans) seem to be particularly uncomfortable about eating alone and will always try to eat in groups. A lot of restaurants as well will have certain dishes that are for a minimum of two people. I love eating alone and didn't really like the stares and look of confusion on waitstaff's faces when I said I'd be eating alone.
Love_Trust_Hope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to see the episode of Friends where Joey eats everyone's food at Phoebes party because they left. That is essentially what happens when the food arrives.
Queencitybeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went out the other day for breakfast at a popular sit down breakfast place in the area. And by popular I mean 20-40 minute wait usually. They call out for parties when the tables are ready. There was some dude in his 40s who waited a while. It was weird to hear the hostess call out "That guy, party of one." Don't think I could ever do that. He looked like a weirdo. Breakfast made it seem extra weird for some reason. To each their own, but for me, at a restaurant I usually need it to be bar seating or 1/2 empty if I get a table. I don't want to look like a weirdo! I'll take the mumu!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is typically how I eat out, I'll roll up to a bar and get some food, I'm kind of an introvert so if there's no one there I like no problem but if I run into some friends there that works too.
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the time as well. A person eating alone at 1pm on a weekday is just someone on their lunch break from work. Totally acceptable (depending on the restaurant as you said). A person eating alone on a weekday at 6:30 is just someone too tired to cook after a long day at work. Totally acceptable (again depending on the restaurant). A person eating alone on a Saturday night is a loner that can't get a date/friends and doesn't have anything better to do. Looooserrrr
filthridden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find the main problem with dining alone is that the wait-staff feel like they have to make small talk with you which is the opposite of the reason you are dining alone to start with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was single, I often dined alone at fancy restaurants because all my friends complained it was too expensive. I was actually treated very nicely by the staff and usually got to sit at the bar and/or close to the kitchen, which made it even more entertaining. I still do it from time to time.
mister11th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
absolutely not. It's a question of how confident you are... cause truly, nobody really gives a fuck.
sicnevol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man. I prefer to eat at nice restaurants alone. I don't have to chit chat and I can focus on enjoying my food. I can eat at whatever pace I like, order my own appetizers and really enjoy the food.
MrMurgatroyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I really like going to really good restaurants alone. No way of saying this without sounding either pretentious, obsessive or both, but sometimes I really just want to focus on enjoying the food (and wine/other drinks) rather than being social.
MrMane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Been there, done that. Nobody gives a fuck. At least not in Nevada/California/Oregon. In Finland, you'll get some looks in fancier places.
bugphotoguy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:41:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bring a notepad and pretend you're a restaurant critic. You'll look like an ass, but not a loser, and you'll get extra special service.
Maybe.
Joetato ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're an eccentric multimillonaire who only eats alone.
backyardstar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:40:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree - the fancier the restaurant, the more awkward. I eat out alone all the time on business trips. It's fine mostly. But I went to a high-end steak house once by myself, before rush time. All alone eating a nice steak was... sad.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:22:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never notice anyone acting like it's weird that I eat alone, but maybe it's because I just don't care enough to notice what they think
ieatbees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't care either. Life is great when you shan't give a damn
Exchangesc2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been waiting tables for nearly a decade. I get half a dozen single diners a day, it's not weird at all.
TryAgainName ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:19:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat alone at work, I like to sit in the park and eat. Everyone thinks it's weird and I think it's weird they are all so codependent.
3kindsofsalt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to get left alone. People see you eating/reading/hanging out alone and they assume it is impossible to be interrupting you.
ieatbees ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:57:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Headphones. Not earbuds but headphones. If they still insist on talking to you when you're clearly not in a position to hear them, there's nothing you could have done
ChickenChic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this as well, but that's because I'm a parent and the moments of eating by myself are glorious.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My job feeds me, so now I sit alone to eat 4/5 days of the week. I've gotten so used to it that I don't even blink at the thought of going out for whatever food I want and eating it there by myself. I don't see the big deal anymore, I'm hungry and alone so its time to eat alone. Food doesn't require someone to help you eat.
ailurophobian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smart phones.
MillwrightGritt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the Alberta Oil & Gas industry and travel all around the province, usually 20 days out of the month, staying 5-6 days in a one towne at a time. Since I spend a lot of time in hotels alone I frequently eat at restaurants/ bars alone. I've had situations where people have flat out asked me if I was stood up. I don't understand this stigma in the slightest.
On a side note
TouchDownBurrito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can sit at a bar alone and eat, feels a little weird being at at table alone.
si828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did this a lot when travelling with work but I always found it a little awkward, always ended up on my phone, the cinema on my own though is always something I've wanted to do
packardpa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love eating alone. It's like the only free time I get. My fiance can't do anything on her own and thinks it's the weirdest thing when I'm like "yea I got Chipotle today" "oh, who'd you go with?" "No one just me" que flabbergasted.
Supertrample ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, you don't get odd looks dining alone these days if you have a book or a computer/phone to 'keep you company'. Eat without external stimuli (other than the food), though, and you're under suspicion again.
shrimpcreole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on a business trip and had dinner out tonight. It was a nice-ish local restaurant and the waiting list for a regular table was 90+ minutes. Was drinking a beer at the bar within four minutes and eating dinner within fifteen.
Ran4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck? Have you never been to a non-fastfood restaurant?
burts_beads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I don't go to $40 a plate restaurants alone
Jackyl9999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your a regular Steven glansburg
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get how it'd be weird. Don't people generally eat alone on lunch breaks anyways. I'm too lazy to pack a lunch every day, and have some extra income, so I eat out alone for my lunch hour fairly often.
burts_beads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same. Like I said, I don't think people really care anymore. If you eat a fancy/expensive dinner alone, maybe, but otherwise nobody notices or cares.
Evilsbane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat out for lunch by myself almost every day. So do most of my coworkers. Not weird at all.
amoralism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never done it, it does seem a little odd
burts_beads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody cares.
amoralism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you do :D
_pandamonium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's weird if people do it, but personally I'd feel weird doing it. At least going to the movies you have something to entertain you. At a restaurant I'd just eat and stare into space or play on my phone, and I can do those things while eating in my bed.
burts_beads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it's more normal to eat while laying in your bed than at a restaurant?
_pandamonium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...other people don't do this?
LeRogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i eat out all the time alone cause they don't allow cats inside :\
Suivoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:47 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat alone a lot too. Especially on business. People sometimes look sorry for me, until i smile.
margraves ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:23:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
same, but it's not by choice; it's because I have 6 dicks.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/apr/07/france-food-ritual-meal-tradition
Meals are a shared experience in most cultures, some see eating alone as depressing which makes you lose appetite. I'm reasonably good at cooking but find it depressing to do so for only myself and to eat alone.
Aceinator ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:02:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's sad
Hobbs54 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Party of one - Elayne Boosler
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
burts_beads ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"To any further extent; any longer." So what's weird about how I used this word?
woeful_haichi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:06:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend is much the same way. Whenever she calls during lunch and I'm out eating somewhere she'll ask who I'm with; when I tell her I'm alone her response is usually some variation of, "Oh, I'm so sorry".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
woeful_haichi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that was an invitation. Did you offer to share one with her?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
woeful_haichi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've only been snowboarding once, and while it was with a friend we only spent time together at the beginning so she could teach me the basics. After that I was free to practice as much - and as slowly - as I wanted as she took more complicated routes without having to worry about me dragging her down. I thought that worked out quite well.
Larsjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd almost rather ski alone are you kidding?
trentblase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"well, my date stood me up so..."
cohrt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you coworker is probably also someone who hates "awkward" silences and fills them with meaningless bullshit. I think some people just hate being alone with thier own thoughts
GarlicAftershave ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:37:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding. No, I don't want to have lunch with you today, coworkers. That's my time to read.
BurnWave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat at a Chinese buffet alone all the time. I never thought of it as weird.
PMMeTitsQuestionmark ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:59:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it funny, the most awkward part of eating out alone is the way people judge you for it.
SirNoName ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh who cares, they're strangers
mrana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's something you need to be able to do if you travel.
neocommenter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it more awkward to eat with others present.
Captian_Cocksmith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He is insecure with himself.
Frohirrim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lunch is far more acceptable to the general public for solitary eating than dinner is. Lunch is just something that happens in the middle of the day. Stumbling onto our next meal so we don't starve.
Dinner seems more planned. Especially at a nice place. Plus it's this token dating staple that people go to dinner together.
spizzat2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wohoo! Me party!
GigglinGallagher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this in school in the cafeteria. I just sit alone, eat and browse Reddit on my phone. People think I have no friends.... And they might be right about that.
shakey_bakey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay, go us friendless people! Woohoo! :) I used to get to school half an hour early every day so I could be by myself. I could get so much homework done in half an hour alone.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I even used to do that before cell phones! We had news on actual dead trees back in those days.
RollAd20 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It feels awkward for me to attempt it. I don't know why. Especially since if I see someone eating at a restaurant alone I don't think anything of it. I don't know why I can't bring myself to do it.
Sometimes my thoughts even delve into "I am going to make the waiter/waitress feel awkward for having to serve someone sitting at a table alone." Intellectually I know that that's a stupid thought and if it was true I shouldn't care anyway...but it is enough for me to feel awkward and sit alone at home instead.
Nadril ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there not just a bar you can sit at in these places? I guess it's just the types of places I tend to go out and eat at (more so brewpub style things than straight up restaurants) but I typically just go sit at the bar.
Nothing weird about someone just going to sit up at the bar and get some food alone.
CalcProgrammer1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, at least in my mind, bar == drinking. I don't want to drink, I just want to eat. I'm not really a fan of alcohol. Is it really that common to just eat at the bar without drinking (alcohol)?
trentblase ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The bar is great at a popular place because often you get the full menu without having to wait for a table/reservation. Doesn't work well for a part of 4, but 1-2 people? Always.
Nadril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people do it before. Personally, I'm a really big craft beer person so going out to the bar for me is getting a couple of drinks & food.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously I wish it was more acceptable. There's so many good places I want to eat at but there's never anybody who's available to go.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's something he wants to try but is too afraid of being judged
bitch_im_a_lion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love to walk to a small breakfast diner near me whenever I get the chance. Cool thing is once you've been in there enough times they start to recognize you and chat with you because you're a regular and suddenly it's not such a lonely meal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a smartphone helps
TheMom4040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who travel for work reasons learn the art of eating alone. It's not awkward--it's fun to people watch, etc. and if you feel awkward eating by yourself, just pull out your cell phone, tablet, ebook reader, REAL book, newspaper, etc. It can be relaxing.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right you can either eat by yourself unable to put your phones down or with someone else unable to put their phone down.
Doctursea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For lunch? Isn't that normal, dinner I would get being awkward. The early meals make sense, because people got shit to do
epsilonbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The weird thing about that is that it isn't awkward, not for you not for the server not for the other patrons. No one gives a crap at all in the actual moment yet people constantly describe it as awkward.
It makes very little sense. I find it's especially common with movies, perhaps because many people consider going to the movies a 'social event'
falisa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat lunch alone a decent amount since I pretty much work in an office by myself everyday. Most restaurants have zero reaction to you eating alone and its a nonissue 99% of the time. There is one restaurant I love their ramen at but I don't go because every single time I go, they give me a weird eye the entire time I'm there by myself. Its really not that weird people. I constantly see people eating by themselves at a lot of the places I go to.
yeah_yup_yeah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm eating alone right now. I love it.
onebandonesound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before smartphones, if you didn't bring a book or something with you, the time between when you order and when your food arrives you'll just be sitting there with nothing to do, and that doesn't really sound appealing to a lot of people
duffman13jws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it frequenty when traveling for work, but definitely do it other times too. The only thing is I generally sit at the bar when I do it rather than a table. It's kind of common courtesy, as tables generally seat 2 or 4, and being placed at one I just made the restaurant forgo 3 seats worth of potential revenue. At the bar I'm just taking up 1 stool.
Bobo480 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your coworker is an idiot, especially at lunch. You work with people all day, why the fuck do I want to eat lunch with you every day as well.
Now eating dinner at a restaurant by yourself, that is fucked.
ruckdiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know it was a faux pas. I travel around the city for my job so I always stop in random restaurants by myself.
jazz4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's one of those things where in a cafe/diner no one bats an eye, but if it's in a restaurant, people think you're certifiably insane.
sonorousAssailant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a nice TexMex restaurant alone one time and I got hilarious amounts if attention fron the staff.
AntHill12790 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got to town early for my pool league so I went to a local applebees before and sat at the bar by myself and found some good conversation with the bartender and the other 3 people that were sitting around the bar. If I were with someone else I would have probably ignored all of them and not shared their experiences as I did then.
xchadrickx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work for an IT outsourcing company and a big part of my job is traveling and putting out fires/dealing with potentially angry customers. Some days sitting down at Taco Bell after the lunch rush and browsing Reddit in peace is the only escape I get. It's a half hour of god damn bliss I don't want ruined with banter.
youRFate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like it. I usually bring kindle and read while waiting and / or eating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only as awkward as you make it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually quit a job primarily over this. Every day it was like a group thing, everyone goes to lunch. Ya... Not happening.
I don't mind eating with my co-workers every now and then, bit lunch is my time, don't pressure me into feeling like a weirdo for just leaving for lunch on my own...
thrattatarsha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy eating alone at the Japanese places in my town. I don't have to worry about my friends being rudely loud, saying embarrassing things, blah blah. I can just sit and enjoy a quiet, nutritious meal and maybe a beer.
Chromeleon55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes travel for work and would end up eating alone the majority of the time. I actually like it. It's peaceful and you can people watch.
I prefer eating alone to sometimes really awkward coworker dinners. One time I had to eat dinner at my hotel with our site controller, who I had just met that morning after a red-eye flight. He was probably 45+ year old british guy, I was a 22 year American girl, and there were maybe 3 other couples in the restaurant. I looked like his mistress.
TuckersMyDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather eat alone than eat with fucking Nancy from accounting again. I swear to god.
BugcatcherJay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating with others is akward
hellamanteca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who was so against eating alone he would pay for my food if I drove to his work and ate with him. Orange chicken tastes even better when it's free.
Joetato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had breakfast by myself at a Denny's once. It was fine. I don't particularly like eating in restaurants in general, though, so I rarely go in any form. I do get take out a lot, though.
SimonCallahan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently went to a new restaurant that just opened near me. I ended up doing a review of it for a website I write for, but it was a spur of the moment thing. When I went in, I wasn't intending to do a review. Funny thing, the head chef apparently thought that because I came in solo, I was a food critic.
JoshAndArielle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ate at a local cheap Asian food place because of the munchies. I was sitting alone when people at the table behind me were talking about how awkward it is to eat alone as I was sitting there eating alone awkwardly. I didn't know people actually still judge for eating alone. I live in a college town and most my friends go home for the summer.
ponte92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student interstate that's lives and does most things alone. I love it eating alone is the best cause I get to go where I want!
gcmountains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I travel for work a lot. I frequently eat alone. Sometimes it's slightly depressing. But then I remember that I'm eating a fancy meal that I don't have to pay for, and I just order more drinks...
Eddie_Hitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never eaten alone in a pub or "proper" restaurant. I do so in hotels and fast food places like KFC or McDonald's mind you.
I prefer to get a takeaway of some kind, eat at home while watching something on TV.
Vandechoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you have 30 minutes to sit there and wait for your food, but now you have no one to talk to. Then again, everyone's on their phone these days anyway so probably not as much of a problem as it used to be.
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat in restaurants for lunch most every day of the week but I feel weird eating by myself in a restaurant for dinner.
GOBLIN_GHOST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially a weekday lunch. Fuck y'all, I'm trying to finish this book I don't want friends right now! I'll socialize again when I'm on the clock and supposed to be working!
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like eating alone, I can watch youtube on my phone or read reddit/tvtropes
droznig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what will all those people you will never see again think!?
geekwalrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I study alone in restaurants and bars all the time. Hell I'm doing it now (on rotation in Florida while family is far far away)
melissarose8585 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to spend most of my life traveling alone for work. You get so used to it and don't even think about if after a while.
GetOutOfBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would be perhaps a little awkward at a fancy restaurant, mainly because it's harder to act casual and looks rather unusual (most people go to fancy restaurants with someone, though not that there's anything wrong with going just for the great food).
But at some bistro near my work? Why the hell wouldn't I go alone. Your coworker either just comes from a non Canadian/American culture or is just a bit naive. Go to any city and half of the people sitting in casual restaurants are alone.
Perk_i ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've found that having a book along eliminates the strange looks. If you're just there with the food and your own thoughts, you're a weirdo. If you're reading, you're a normal person escaping for a quick lunch.
I think it has to do more with the social stigma around wasting time than about being alone - at least in the U.S. There are acceptable diversions, and if you're not engaged in one of them or actively at work, then you're a slacker. Reading a book is perfectly acceptable, and if you do it over lunch it's a good use of time. Play video games for eight hours on the weekend and you're obviously on welfare and taking food from the mouths of hard working billionaires.
Ripper33AU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't leave home to go out just to eat by myself per say, but I have eaten many times alone, either when I'm in/around the area (like the city) or I get somewhere early and am just waiting for someone.
I enjoy it, and especially shopping alone. As much as I love company, I would never get to see all the shops/places I wanna go to if I have other people around.
One time I got to a place about an hour+ early, waiting for my bro and cousins to arrive later so we could watch a movie. I thought ah yeah, I got time to kill, I'll get something to eat at this restaurant/bar/bistro. The woman there asks me if I'm here for dinner, I say yes, and she kinda looks around and then asks "by yourself? " and I answer yeah. She's kinda like "oh, ok" looking a little sorry for me or something, lol. Then she finds me a table next to a TV and says "oh we can sit you next to a TV here if you like" and smiles. I just found it funny. It's ok lady, I'm fine, I just want food, lol.
petit_cochon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is such an American mindset. In other places, it's quite normal to grab a meal out on your own.
JBRedditBeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fully agree, I love hanging at a bar and having a meal and a few drinks, just a relaxing and yes, even fun thing to do.
GunDA9D2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
I'm hungry dammit and i wanna eat. I don't want some bullshit stigma to ruin my glorious cheeseburger
pharuan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya I eat alone pretty often. I travel alot for work and play and I dont even think about it anymore. Who has the time to worry about what some random asshole thinks about me.
ecdomain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I first got to college, one of our RAs told us that she went out to eat by herself to challenge her anxiety about it. Ever since then, I viewed it as part of becoming a well-adjusted adult to be able to be by yourself with your thoughts.
Stephen1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I debated going to an all you can eat for lunch on my own today but decided against it.
Abadatha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Higher end can get awkward, but the experience is totally worth it.
uma100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on where you live people here (NYC) do it all the time especially at lunch time you'll see people eating by themselves and heading back to their office.
GraveRaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't get why people expect you to starve if you're out and about by yourself.
dankerstrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love to go to chinese buffets by myself, its hard to find a real chinese buffet lover and i can do without all the wierd looks when im enjoying whatever it is im enjoying
aim_at_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you work out of town or travel a lot, you eat alone more often than not. At restaurants too.
shakey_bakey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I don't travel a lot. I hate driving, but I hate flying even more, so I avoid traveling as much as possible.
markur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a small casual restaurant as a waitress and I get so many customers that come in and eat alone. And they're regulars too. It's really not that weird.
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I treat myself. Love to eat socially when I can, but sitting quietly and just enjoying a loved meal is awesome.
shakey_bakey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being able to eat at your own pace, without having to talk between bites, or have to focus on conversation...it's pretty nice. You can savor each bite without having someone interrupt every five seconds.
EscherTheLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some are uncomfortable with themselves.
UncreativeTeam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet eating alone in a sit-down restaurant was a lot more awkward before smart phones.
shakey_bakey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet people just read newspapers or something. I usually have a book in my car, so if my phone battery is almost dead, I just grab it and read.
whatxever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get mildly shocked when people do that because of my own social anxiety. It's just hard for me to imagine being alone during an entire meal when I can't even order for myself lol.
shakey_bakey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hugs, my friend. Hugs. I currently work at a bank where I am required to make small talk. I give myself small pep talks between customers. "That's okay, Shakey_Bakey, you can ask this person how they are doing today. You can do it, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up - oh, shit. I fucked it up..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to go to this Thai restaurant every week on my day off, by myself. The hostess/owner was extremely kind but always seemed concerned that I didn't have a man taking me. Mostly I loved having my curry salmon to myself.
shakey_bakey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the HELL would I even RISK sharing my curry salmon with anyone? Does this woman not have priorities?
Okay, that was a bit mean. But I understand completely. I have gone to the movies by myself, too. On more than one occasion, I have gotten a very hesitant, "You just want...one ticket?" response. LOL
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad someone understands! :D
Frank_IV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kudos for using 'flabbergasted' - it's my all time favorite adjective.
shakey_bakey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the word, too. It's just so fun to say out loud. :D
-darkwing- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood this either. I work with people all day every day, most of which are the same people I was working with the day before. I'm not opposed to social outings with a crew of friends, but aside from that why would I try to obligate someone to come out just because I'm hungry? When I eat at home I'm eating alone. So why on earth would there be anything deterring me from hitting a fancy steak house and gorging myself on appetizers, a juicy 9oz filet, and a few glasses of wine like I'm a motherfuckin king? If I wanna talk to people I'll just lean into the next booth over and start a chat. Nobody can blame me, I'm on my fourth glass. And I'm not paying for anybody else's meal so I'm about to go for number five. What's your name? Nice to meet you Steve, I'm fat and happy and doing my thing. Is this you're boyfriend? No? He's just the guy that fucked your sister. But no one else was available to go for dinner so you figured it was this or starve. Fuckin sucker. Have my doggy bag. I'm going to the movies.
burnie_mac ยท 639 points ยท Posted at 15:39:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moving to a new city has forced me to deal with this. Not yet ate at a bar alone but it's coming.
double_ewe ยท 814 points ยท Posted at 16:15:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
one of my favorite things in the world. just bring a book or some blue links and be as social (or not) as you want.
pastahoarder ยท 618 points ยท Posted at 17:22:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you mean blue links as in unchecked Reddit posts?
Neutrum ยท 1556 points ยท Posted at 19:54:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What else could he mean? Sapphire cufflinks?
cupcak3bak3r ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:20:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sitting in a hotel restaurant eating alone right now and I laughed so hard at this, I'm attracting looks
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:02:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did you bring your cufflinks though?
SapphireRyu ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:45:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you didn't, I have some. You can probably tell I specialize in them.
_Circle_Jerker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Serious, I don't understand, neither the original nor the joke :(
Shahjian ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:28:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it could be a fancy restaurant.
TheLostPotato ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:31:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moldy Sausages
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:41:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dragoncloud64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had money so I could give you Reddit ruby.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:31 on August 7, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here, have a uranium upvote.
Shvingy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not with any color of pants you'll see me in. no sir
HitlerWasADoozy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, sausage links.
Supertrample ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Frozen miniature golf course?
pastahoarder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thought it could be some sort of game... or sausage
Prometheus88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to think of it as golfing on the Boise State AstroTurf...
sir_ramen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blueberry necklaces?
QuerulousPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sausages filled with food coloring so as to attract interest, confusion, and mild disgust?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:03:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, blue lynx. As in a wildcat with an unnatural dye job
minigogo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:12:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's how the cool kids say it.
Bill_Cosby_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he means Water Tunic Link
BretMichaelsWig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse to let this become a common phrase
burnie_mac ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:20:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 15 dollar gift card at a local sports bar for months, have yet to go. I'll go this week.
Was gonna ask you what blue links were, haha took me a minute to get it.
But seriously, all my links are purple
desertcombat06 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:29:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worth it. I've gone to my favorite local bar right after work for a beer and a burger. I'll just enjoy the ability to watch ESPN, check my phone, and get fat. Edit: in public. I do that frequently at home.
I_AM_POOPING_NOW_AMA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its purple all the way down
TheUglyBarnac1e ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All....all of them?
DontPromoteIgnorance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bluelinks
They locked them away :(
Lookoutbehind ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:25:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, it's glorious to find a pretty empty bar on a Sunday in the fall in the US. I'll get there like an hour before football starts, order a drink with lunch and not leave until 7PM.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:16:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bumblebri ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:42:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I've tried reading a book in a bar. I was interrupted every 5-10 minutes by people going "What?! You're reading a book in a bar?! Fascinating! What's it about? Also, why are you reading in a bar?"
PandaLover42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:02:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you female? That might be a reason. I'm male, and nobody ever talks to me in a bar, with or without a book.
Countsfromzero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:09:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ebooks. Now you can stare at your phone just like everyone else, but maybe actually improve yourself. Or at least have better entertainment than whatever sportsing is occurring on the tvs.
bumblebri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh! Good idea, I'll try that next time.
Bromlife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to try it at a nicer bar. Like a wine bar.
IFL_DINOSAURS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:27:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so much this.
Visited KC the other week - went to Jack Stack and sat at the bar and feasted.
FuckGiblets ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I used to work away a lot on my own. It's fucking great to sit in a pub on my own with a book. I started doing it when I was home too.
DeleriumTrigger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:55:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I sit in a pub and read on my phone all the damn time. Oddly more relaxing than doing it at home, cause of the variety of beer I have at my disposal, and the fact I "stay on task" reading and chilling more than at home, so to speak.
alanaa92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually bring a book when I'm eating alone but end up surfing reddit the whole time. So much for intellectual enrichment.
iLoveLamp83 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:50:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I moved to Phoenix for a few months, I'd take my laptop and my dog to the bar around the corner and get work done. Inevitably I'd end up making friends and getting drunk, but I drafted many an email at that place.
9/10, is pretty great
orangejuice456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:16 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is the dream. I've met quite a few adorable dogs at bars...never really met their owners...but I made new canine friends.
mnwild396 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agree with this. Shortly after moving in to my own apartment after living with room mates for years, I went to a local bar and had lunch and a few drinks on a Saturday by myself. Watched some soccer, talked to the people around me and it was super enjoyable. The hardest part is talking yourself into doing it.
Opset ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:49:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been doing this since I turned old enough to drink so I don't really think about it anymore. Can't even remember if it was hard the first time or not.
mivipa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm all out of blue links.
AtheistAustralis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I love this too. I travel somewhat frequently for work, and I love having the chance to explore a city on my own. Every night I'll go to a new place for dinner (usually a bar or something similar), eat by myself, talk to whoever I meet there, and generally have a great time. It's amazing how much more you can learn about a place when you're open to meeting new people, not just hanging out with your partner/friends/colleagues/whoever.
Puppiesandcupcakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do it! As a former bartender, as long as you are nice and polite you will usually get great service. I loved chatting with the regulars who worked downtown and just wanted a slice of pizza and a beer.
homie_dude_guy_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first semi-cool way I have ever heard browsing reddit described as.
"Hey man, what you doing?"
"Just scoping some blues, man."
baronvonjovi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blue links. Love it. Never heard that before, definitely using it.
shrimpcreole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or eavesdrop on the hilarious conversations of the tipsy folk.
Blackwood42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't do it often, but this is definitely a great way to spend some time
My last birthday,I went to my favourite pub on my own, early in the afternoon. Just sat in a corner by myself, reading a good book, drinking my favourite cider, put a couple of good songs on the jukebox, it was wonderful. Once it got to about 9pm, and the place started filling up,I was quite drunk, tottered home, picked up a pizza on the way, watched one of my favourite films and fell asleep.
Not saying I'd do that every week, but it was definitely one of the best days I've had in a couple of years
traversecity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, love this. Can be totally alone in a bar, or not, it's all good.
UncreativeTeam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also a good way to meet some bartenders who will eventually hook you up.
Chimie45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Seoul. I eat at a pub alone all the time.
Well, after about the 5th or 6th time, I knew the bartenders and the other regulars and I was no longer eating alone. That was 4 years ago. I'm never alone now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
Thunderbirdfour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is solid advice, and if bringing a book to a restaurant/bar setting makes you uncomfortable, get an e-book on your phone. All the joy of reading without needing to carry a book and no one can tell what you're doing.
dragonflytype ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly, I got hit on more while sitting at a bar reading and minding my own business than any other time. Something about a book at a bar seems to scream "talk to me!" Apparently. And they don't take the hint.
"What are you reading?"
silently show cover, keep reading
"Oh, is it good?"
"So far" keep reading
"So what do you do here?"
Oh for the love of burgers, I read, okay? I sit here, and I eat my sandwich, and I drink my cider, and I read. Until now. ARGH.
revengetothetune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, most people see bars as places to socialize. So it's kinda assumed that if you're there, you're at least ok with people talking to you.
dragonflytype ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:31:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair. But still, with one word non-answers you'd think they'd take a hint. Also, I didn't read every time, I would just hang out and chat with the bartenders, but I rarely got hit on then.
sojerboy08 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:51:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck brings a book to a bar.
Aceinator ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds terrible
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:55:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sobertese ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:12:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scope out the pub food. Bars can have some of the shockingly best food in a city.
Plus, meet a friend over a pint and you won't have to eat alone when you don't want to.
burnie_mac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I moved to a new city, haven't made any friends here yet.
tughdffvdlfhegl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:31:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to the same bar enough and (if it's the right bar) you'll have some friends soon enough.
Warning: Bar friends are not necessarily the most stable people, nor the best for your health.
ChesterHiggenbothum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which city?
burnie_mac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minneapolis
ChesterHiggenbothum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, well if you were in NYC I'd take you out for a beer. Have you tried meetups? When I moved to a new city, I found it to be a pretty nice way of meeting new people. They have groups for different interests or activities, which is kind of cool. It can be difficult moving to a new place, but there are lots of people in similar situations looking for new friends. It's just a matter of going out and meeting them.
Sobertese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No no, I meant there's a chance to meet someone new at the place over a drink and make new friends.
It's not a sure bet, but it's easier to break the ice over a good beer.
Lasanzie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:43:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. I find eating alone at a bar to be much less awkward then in a restaurant. Not sure why.
burnie_mac ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:59:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is, it's pretty much the only option for dining alone. Because you are facing the TV's and the bartender, you can talk to the bartender or those around you, or do nothing. At a table you're loneliness is on display.
darktask ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not always loneliness, sometimes people just want to enjoy their own company. Alone =/= lonely
recyclopath_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:49:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mentality has become 'I want to go do stuff and I'm not going to wait on other people to go do it' go meet people doing things alone.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
every time I eat at a bar alone I end up sparking up a conversation with the bartender or someone else eating or drinking alone. It's my favorite thing to do...
TiderOneNiner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:04:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm eating alone (on a business trip, etc) my go to move is going to eat at a bar. When you sit at the bar you always end up meeting some people around you to talk to, or at least the bartender. And if not there's almost always ESPN on TV. Plus beer.
darktask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, this can sometimes backfire. Most people equate a woman sitting at the bar alone means she's interested in company or open to being hit on. Especially hotel bars
Bobo480 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Easy way to find new people to talk to, people are a bit buzzed so always more social.
The first thing I always try to do when I moved to a new town is find a bar with awesome bartenders and a good after work crowd. Becoming a regular has its perks for sure. So dont think going to often is a bad thing.
Fendicano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating at a bar alone is great. You don't need to talk to anyone if you don't want to, and if you do there are other people there to talk to
Deidra23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bring a book and sit at the bar. If it's a good bar you'll have interesting conversations. If it's a bad one, you have a book to read!
Harry101UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just seems kinda strange to me, that people would sit in the middle of a public place (like a bar) and just silently sit and read a book.
I mean, you could sit at home next to your fireplace with a beer and do that.
Deidra23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surely people get bored of their own scenery (and getting their own beers) sometimes?
To be fair, no matter how many times i've sat in a pub with a book, i never get more than a few pages read before something more interesting happens.
talsiran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Know exactly no one outside of my coworkers (who are 20+ years older than me), so I've been going to the movies alone, shopping alone, etc. Still not eaten at a bar alone though.
yeah_it_was_personal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell. Yes. Dude.
TL;DR~ Going to a bar alone on 4th of July kicked ass.
All my friends were busy 4th of July and I had a little extra money to play with for the first time in a while. So since I live in a small town in Texas, maybe a mile from downtown, I took my bike to the main drag to explore and look for hole in the wall places to chill at.
First stop was a cafรฉ where the food was downright otherworldly. Best sandwich I've ever had, roast beef and onions caramelized to perfection. I don't even remember what it was called but I had the the most unbelievably delicious and expensive coffee drink ever, and a salad so good, I enjoyed eating the tomatoes for the first time in over a decade.
But I left unsatisfied in quantity, like any good American, so, unlike a good American, I went to a burger place across the street and ordered a giant salad. The spicy vinaigrette wasn't all that great, but it was certainly an experience. The place was alright though, and they were showing football games for both the Women's World Cup and Copa America, so that was fun to watch. After having had my fill of salad, I chatted outside with a dude on a smoke break about the penalty kick by Messi that he missed and left for my next destination.
So I biked back across the street to a bar that had hosted a small rock music festival back in May that makes its own sangria, my favorite drink. Lo and behold, it's happy hour and they're two bucks a pop. So I order and start shooting the shit with the bartender looks like something out of a Sum 41 music video, and it turns out we're both into punk and ska and reeeeaaaaally like Rancid.
So far, I'm having the time of my life getting drunk on my own at four in the afternoon.
So on like my third sangria, the bartender, the other patron at the bar, some really cute girl named Jen, and I all go out to the bar patio to smoke. We're all hanging out drinking, smoking, and listening to the Indestructible album, when I go back inside to get my drink freshened up. Well, when I come back outside there's the guy from the burger place and his friend, so I introduced myself and it turns out burger place guy speaks Spanish as well and suddenly I've made another friend.
And that's how the whole night went. People started trickling in and by the early evening, there were twelve people sitting at like five tables dragged together, including the bartender. That night, I sang Fields of Anthenry at the top of my lungs, got into arguments about Doctor Who and Firefly, flirted, made plans to start a band, and chain smoked four mini cigars.
Simply put, going out to a bar, on my own, in the middle of the afternoon, was the best decision I've ever made.
DoctorCrouchJrWho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ate at a bar one day when i was having a shitty month and just needed a day to myself. Called out of work and spent the day in the city. Went to a bar, sat at the bar, ordered a drink and read. It was nice and exactly what I needed.
dinosaur_jam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBcWR_fArKM This is what I felt like eating by myself but it gets better.
n1c0_ds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found bars to be a little harder, but a quiet pub in the afternoon is such a nice place to find yourself in.
whatthefunkmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started playing pool when I moved. It was a little less intimidating to go to a pool hall alone because I had something to focus on and once you can play a little it's rare that you haven't started shooting with someone else by the end of a night.
burnie_mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a great idea, I already love pool.
goldishblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating at a restaurant alone is an office for many of us. Tons of self employed folks work there.
tmibbs89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just moved to a new city two weeks ago, it's not awkward eating alone at all. Though I would rather eat with someone, but that may be because I'm waiting for when my SO moves out here next month.
Tag613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pubs are great for this, sit at the bar and order a pint and ask for the menu. Perfect quiet time.
mrleetyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do it! ...i was in a new town and had a coupon for 2 meals and 2 drinks for 10GBP ....so went and had both meals and drinks to myself ....got a few odd looks but it was a good time.
ericsPOV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating at a bar alone great, even more so if you're in a city. Talk to the waitstaff and bartenders, tell them you're new to the area and are looking for things to do. As long as you aren't creepy or annoying, people will gladly tell you what they like about the place.
ryewheats2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Done this, is tough at first. But go to the bar and get some apps that people see and want some off (basket of fries, nachos, etc)... hang out and look like you are enjoying yourself (have an interesting story of why you are there, etc). You can attract people to talk to doing this. If you are a guy and another guy comes to talk to you, just go with it.... even if you are there to meet girls. That guy will now be your "friend" should the opportunity arise to talk to girls. This makes you WAY more approachable.
ImNeworsomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pros: Bar food, people to talk to, beer, booze, bitches. Cons: Bar food, people talking to you, beer, booze, and bitches.
I can't decide.
wombatzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude it's awesome. I used to live in a city and went out to movies alone all the time, went to the bar and ate alone. Also it was cool because the bar I went to had wifi and I could bring my laptop and sit and browse the internet while I ate my dinner.
FamousOrphan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am eating alone in a restaurant while I read this thread. IT IS AMAZING. You can do it!
MillwrightGritt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat at bars alone quite frequently due to work. Not weird in the slightest, seeing as I almost ALWAYS make friends or meet someone anyway because everyone's drinking. Some of the best nights I've had have been with complete strangers. Like at the strip club in Laduc Alberta where I met a felon from Texas just recently released, an Australian who was only 4 hours into his first time in Canada, and a stripper with three nips.
Good times!
MaddieEms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love eating up at the bar alone. Bar snacks + beer are the best. If you get bored, watch the TV up on the screen or chit chat with your neighbor. :D
belowthepovertyline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bartender. People stop in for food and a beer or two by themselves all the time. It's not weird at all. Go for it!
Loving_Echos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, I moved to a new city six years ago and started going to bars alone after like 2 years, I should've started immediately. I'm not a bar fly or anything of the sort but on a Friday night after a long shift I go sit my ass in a comfy both, drink some beer and wait for the chill witnesses to bring me food and beverages, it's heavenly to be waited on after you've put in a hard week slumming it with your coworkers.
Sometimes I read, sometimes I reddit, sometimes I bring my laptop and work on my book, sometimes I sit at the bar and chat with all varieties of people.
jvr7348 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to a bar in a new city and eating alone isn't bad. Get to know your local bartenders. They usually know your city the best and may hook you up with a free drink or two.
technoglitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very fun! As someone else said, you can go when you want, leave when you want, drink however much you want. Most importantly can choose your bar and to try somewhere new! I highly recommend.
kf4ypd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did it for the better part of two years before I found a reliable group of friends. I kind of miss it, ended up having a lot of chats with people I never would have said a word to otherwise.
torknorggren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're never alone at the bar. Have had some great conversations with barkeeps--any decent bartender is going to be someone who has some stories and knows how to keep a conversation going. Also, they're some of the best sources of local knowledge going.
whuzez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Travel for business and you get used to eating anywhere alone really fast.
MrMurgatroyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just do it :) Aside from anything else, you might meet some people.
evixir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:32 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did that for the first time last January in an airport sports bar. Liberating!
quetzalKOTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend did this all the time when he spent a summer on the other coast. He got on friendly terms with the bartender and read a lot. Didn't sound so bad :)
burnie_mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For you guys, what is the other coast?
quetzalKOTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We live in California, so the East Coast. I kind of hoped that putting "other coast" would be more helpful, because for all you know he could have gone from Ohio to Virginia, but I'm not sure if it worked.
burnie_mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understood the coast to coast part I just wanted to know from which coast to which.
misssarahjane ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:10:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A bar is the best first step if you want to chat with others. Sit at the bar instead of a table near someone who looks like a regular, looks like they might be alone or looks like they aren't entranced in conversation with the people they are with. The people who talk to the bartender are the best people to sit next to. You'll save the bartender from unnecessary distraction, and you'll have someone easy to talk to who probably has no trouble leading the conversation. Go to a restaurant and/or get a table if you just want some time on your own
88blackgt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The people who talk to the bartender are the best people to sit next to. You'll save the bartender from unnecessary distraction"
Not sure we can make statements like that. There are bartenders that enjoy talking to their customers and it's also part of the job.
misssarahjane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:13 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true. I won't argue with you there.
senatorskeletor ยท 4175 points ยท Posted at 15:45:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Seeing a movie on your own is awesome. You get there exactly when you want to, see exactly what you want to see, leave exactly when you want to, and you don't have to have any conversations you don't want to. It's beautiful.
EDIT: Thanks to /u/OHAITHARU for reminding me of the big one: you sit where you want to sit!
EDIT2: I absolutely can believe that my highest-rated comment is about doing something fun regardless of whether you look cool doing it. That's what life is about!
OHAITHARU ยท 2074 points ยท Posted at 16:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried that for the first time a couple weeks ago. It was everything I imagined it could be and more. I left when I wanted too, didn't have to share snacks. Found a perfect seat as well. 10/10 would recommend
GreenGemsOmally ยท 1121 points ยท Posted at 16:45:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've started doing this now that I've got a little expendable income and I realize that I love going to the movies, but I hated the hassle of getting a group together to pick a time, arrange rides, select a movie everybody likes, etc. I'm normally a really social guy but after a few movies by myself, I realize that it's awesome. I went and saw Interstellar because I had a few hours in Chicago by myself and I recently went and saw Jurassic World because nobody else was free. Agreed, 10/10 would recommend.
[deleted] ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 18:00:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tessellated0505 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw The Grey by myself and I loved it. I watched it again with friends after it came out on DVD and they totally ruined it for me.
thejesse ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:48:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only two movies I've seen alone are Interstellar and The Grey.
MyLegsTheyreDisabled ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:17:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Judge was my first movie alone. It was me and a few old ladies. It was amazing!
nom_cubed ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:47:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever gone to a movie alone... and then realized no one else is in the theater? It's like your own private screen. Except when it's a horror flick and then you're totally getting the fear.
SuperPwnerGuy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:10:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to going on a weekday for the first showing of the day, my theater has an early bird special for $4.50 for a 9 am show, NO ONE EVER GOES , Avengers : Age of Ultron was 10x better without hearing 100 normies munch popcorn simultaneously
s0m3th1ngUn0r1g1n4l ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I did exactly this when the first Avengers film came out. It was amazing. Hardly anyone around to ruin it. It was a great time.
MyLegsTheyreDisabled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw Mockingjay on a Friday showing around 12 pm. It was opening day and there were seriously only 5 other people there. It was fantastic.
TrevorSlattery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NORMIES, GET OUT.
spikewolf123 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did this for Paranormal Activity 4, say what you will about the franchise but when you're alone in the cinema and it's on a huge screen in front of you it's bloody scary.
tessellated0505 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw Toy Story 3 by myself, probably the worst movie to see alone...
dash-happy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:14:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Interstellar was the first movie I watched alone, also, since all of my friends had already watched it and I didn't want them to inadvertently give anything away. I'm thinking of doing the same with Jurassic World.
InappropriateComrade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I sit alone in front of my PC/TV and watch movies. I love the cinema, but people like to be assholes and talk or text or whatever. Fuck them. I want to enjoy the fucking movie, that's why I'm here. If you wanna talk, get the fuck out.
r4ve88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/interstellar. Still active today even though the movie came out ages ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was my first alone movie too! I took myself on a date for Chinese mall food and a movie (SO was at a conference) and I drank right around 40oz water before I sat down at the theater. I didn't even realize I had to pee until the credits rolled- and that's a 3hr long film. What an amazing experience, I was so involved in it. I've been going alone every once in a while since.
DerivativeMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the Incredibles, everyone else wanted to see Oceans whatever's the number was at the time. I didn't, told them I'd wait for them since mine got out earlier. I came out satisfied, they came out disappointed.
GeorgeStark520 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:21:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to watch interstellar in IMAX, but all my friends said that it was too expensive. I went by myself, and it is no doubt the best cinematic experience I have lived through.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:12:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends doesn't love the movies as much as I do, or not enough to ahem pay for them at least so I simply got tired of harassing them (and they're probably glad for it too) to go for this and that movie so I just started to go alone.
Would also recommend.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm going to try this with bowling.
tessellated0505 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bowling and ice skating (if you can skate well enough) are a enjoyable alone. It's like a different experience in itself.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dream about being able to bowl a frame and immediately being able to bowl the next one without waiting for anybody else.
Bumwax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually go and play pool alone when I'm in the mood.
Doing things alone with music or a podcast or whatever in your ears is pretty awesome sometimes.
McDLT2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sick reference bro.
merelyadoptedthedark ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:05:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started doing this a couple years ago...it has become a habit now and I really don't like going to the movies anymore with other people. It's not like you need to talk to each other during the movie.
bugattibiebs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what really gets me. You don't talk to the people you go with anyways and half the time we don't even talk about the movie much afterwards.
brbroome ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:34:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work across the street from a very nice theater, it's glorious when I'm done work early.
NiceKicksGabe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:46:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went and saw Interstellar by myself as well. Cried like a lil bitch and no one scolded me for it.
LaSerpant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We seem to be the same person, went to the same movies in the same city by myself as well.
GreenGemsOmally ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit me, you need to clean your room. :P
Lordanub ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:36:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lets not forget the best reason. I don't have to constantly explain which one is the bad guy. And who "that" person is and "why are they doing that"
GreenGemsOmally ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who talk during movies annoy me. I don't mind as much if it's at home and I can pause the movie, but in the theater it drives me up a wall. I paid money to be here, ask me after.
Bushinoeight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:47:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. I just saw Ex Machina when I fucking felt like it this last semester of college. Pop that popcorn for me. I am the reason you have a job, and you're damn right I'm getting this entire aisle to myself. Best movie time ever. Something, something procrastinating finals studying.
Kitviator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
Bushinoeight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:44 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happens to me if I fail your test?
KNBeaArthur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why it is so important to sit in the dark in silence for two hours with someone else, I'm perfectly capable of doing it solo.
Haydorama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have gone see Jurassic world with you, great film
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody once explained it to me like this:
"You're going to be sat in the dark for two hours, not talking."
Since then, I've learnt I actually prefer going to the cinema on my own.
betterthanyoda56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in SF and the Metreon downtown has 10 pinball machines outside the theater. Jack fucking pot
*pool tables to pinball machines. I'm at a bar
espais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How were you not found by the Singles Police?
ChicagoTechRecruiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw Jurassic World by myself a few weeks ago! A lot of people had already seen it and I didn't want to wait to wrangle a group to go. It was awesome and going to the movies solo is an experience I tend to repeat!
motodriveby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My warning to you is be careful. I have loved solo activities for a decade now. I consider myself a social gent as well and always have. It may sound weird but I grew to love my solo time.
To the point that people stopped inviting me anywhere because I said no so often. Five kids in my family, involved church life, social was what I knew.
Realizing I had the power to say no to an invite, the power to decide when and where I chose to spend my time, was addicting. I lost the social aspect of living life, and started doing everything by myself until I realized that I literally did everything by myself.
Realizing I didn't want to spend the rest of my life like that, I've started swinging back the other way. Saying yes when I didn't want to, inviting a few people over to watch the game I had planned on watching alone, basically feels like I need to force myself to feel the draw of social interaction.
The irony of what I advise is not lost on me, as I sit at a bar on my fifth beer, finished with dinner as the last third of the Haiti/Honduras match begins. I neglected to invite a few friends I know for a fact are watching right now, and I hate that I learn more about me through inspection of other people than I do through introspection.
Anyway, I hate tl;dr's, but balance solo time with social time. You'll find harmony in the balance.
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to go out to see a blockbuster, looked up all the ones they had showing, ended up choosing one I wouldn't have asked someone else to see with me, kind of a historical romance, sparse theater with mostly only adults, good experience good movie. The Water Diviner
NaFoton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watched movie alone, had a blast. Girlfriend mad, we go for same movie. Movie is shit now, feels bad man
herrbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well this all sounds very positive. Think I'll treat myself to a meal, beer, and movie all by my lonesome this weekend, it sounds pretty awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man this seems cool. Want to go watch a movie with me?
TomSG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to see Interstellar alone at 11:30pm on a random tuesday night after it'd been out for over a month. I was the only guy in the entire screen. They played that movie "just" for me. It was absolutely amazing. Having the whole screen to yourself late at night is something only millionaires can dream of. I highly recommend it!.
dr_photo8914 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I watched interstellar alone in IMAX. I went during a weird time and the theater was basically empty. It was... Amazing. Sorry, got emotional thinking about how awesome it was.
Dorocche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gonna diss going to the movies solo, because it is great. But I think the main reason you have bad memories of doing it in groups is the method; you said "hey let's see a movie," got a group together, and chose a movie. But completely stress free and super easy is to only go to the movies when there's a movie you want to see. A group forms around the movie, and you don't have to choose a movie for the group.
Of course, I don't mind sharing snacks, but if you don't I'm sure you won't lose any friends.
William_Buxton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My Interstellar experience was not so stellar because of the giggling and jokes that were made by my friend group. You might be thinking "What jokes? It's not like you can easily make fun of the movie." I would agree. Their jokes were just bad. "Haha he said tesseract like in The Avenegers haha!" It's still one of my favorite movies, though.
lord_james ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My standing rule is to tell the friends who might find the movie interesting when and what I'm seeing. If they're free, splendid. If not, it's whatever.
StaySwoleMrshmllwMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Interstellar was the last movie I saw alone! Wife was feeling sick but told me to go anyway. Great experience.
religion_idiotizes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree. Near my childhood home in LA, there's a theater where we used to go as kids. It's since fallen on hard times and in an effort to save itself it's become one of those second-run cheap theaters, and I freaking love it.
$3.00 for a movie most days of the week, $1.50 on Sundays and Tuesdays, and $1 hot dogs every day. I'm there seeing movies alone ALL the time, and kicks so much ass.
endospire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on board with this. I have monthly membership card for a cinema chain that lets me see any movie for free at any time. This means I can go to the local cinema whenever.
The only reason I don't do it more often is that I really like the experience of sharing a good film with a friend, especially if it's a film I've been looking forward to (Avengers, Jurassic World, Ant Man etc). IMO nothing beats watching an awesome film with friends who are loving it as much as you are.
Something like Robocop on the other hand, I'm more than happy to watch on my lonesome.
Mcquiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had actually seen Furious 7 alone because then I wouldn't have been laughed at for crying at the ending.
LurkerOrHydralisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting one buddy is usually what I do. Spur of the moment, meet at the movie if we don't have time to pick each other up, grab a later showing and have dinner a beer first if we feel rushed. It's nice, and less trouble than getting half a dozen people, but I still have someone to discuss the movie with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More movie theaters need bar/lounge areas. And not the "$50 bag of popcorn" type places, but reasonable local places. I'm sure byzantine exclusive contracts and whatever make this hard, but I've been to a few theaters somewhat along these lines ($1-5 tickets, an actual kitchen, casual, but usually older films)
Fbolanos ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:26:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I like to do? Go to the movies by myself to a really early show. I watched the hobbit and oblivion alone like at 11am. It was glorious.
wvufan44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to take it that extra step as well. Weekend matinee or middle of the week late night? You get the whole theater to yourself. It has become my preferred movie viewing experience.
OHAITHARU ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus they're usually cheaper. Win win
howitis8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pay for the matinee, stay for the later shows for free... Way cheaper!
Kepgnar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:12:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! No one ever gets why I leave just before the climax!
Because I leave when I want, that's why!
OHAITHARU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. I meant left home when on my own time. I've only ever walked out of one movie. Tammy. Being tipsy couldn't even save that one
senatorskeletor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:40:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot about picking your own seats! Great call.
frickindeal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if the theater's not very crowded, I've even sat on the aisle and 'saved' the seat next to me so I can spread out. Selfish but effective.
Aceinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:01:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WTF, what was your normal movie experience, am I the only one who drives with the person you go there with? Arrives before the movie? Leave after its over? WTF are you guys just leavng in the middle of it?
OHAITHARU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex was always late getting ready to go to the movies. I literally mean always. Friends a sometimes late as well.
Aceinator ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I am sorry your ex ruined every movie you ever went with her...lol prob why she's your ex now?
OHAITHARU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naw I never really minded being late with her lol
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah the best thing is you can get the best seats because you dont have to find 3 or 4 seats next to eachother
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, if you're married, going by yourself means the tickets only cost half as much!
My $25 movie experience with wife and kid becomes a $10 experience of my own. The extra $5 is for popcorn. We can never go to the theater without the wife buying outrageously priced, mediocre popcorn.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its honestly pretty great. Super easy to find a seat. you can be in and out of the theater in no time. You dont need to worry about conflicting schedules or anything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
does america not allocate seats in movies?
in england you ask for a specific seat....
OHAITHARU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Trinidad so I can't speak for the USA. But the smaller cinemas don't. You can only reserve seats at the imax theatre
darktask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every theatre. Some specialty theatres, like IMAX, have specific seating but most movie theatres have general seating.
wynaut_23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not, reading "share snacks" made me cringe.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always sit on the front row in the center when I do this. You can ignore everyone else in the theater more easily.
SageOfSkyrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay are you a middle row seater or a back row seater? My girlfriend and her friends insist that the middle is the place to sit but i think the back is better.
OHAITHARU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sit somewhere between middle and back. I've found that to be optimal. Especially if it's the front row of the back section. Leg room man.
R_TOKAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SNAAAAAACKS! WHO WANTS SNAAAACKS!
JusticeBeaver13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this sometimes and sneak in snacks, not because I can't afford them at the theater but it just gives me a little adrenaline.
TheKoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
take me with you.
hurley21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You left when you wanted to? Wtf are you on about m8? Wether im alone, or with 36 thousand people, im gonna leave when the movie is over. You leave when you want to? What kind of shit is that
cactusetr420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been a long time masterdater
HiSoArshavin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could argue that the average reddit user is more introverted than the average human, so of course it would be a little biased that we dont mind watching movies alone....
Source: I went to go watch a movie alone and my gf laughed to high heavens. She said it was the weirdest shit ever.
Nunoporing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you guys buy snacks everytime you go to see a movie? They are so damn expensive.
Usually I eat before the movie, talk with whoever i'm going with and have a great time
Binxly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...Seeing a movie alone... 5 out of 5 stars...
jacurtis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently discovered the same thing. I wanted to see interstellar and my friends all went one time when I had to work. I decided I wanted to see it still so I went by myself. I agree that all the benefits noted above are amazing. I further enjoyed the movie on my own terms.
One thing we forgot to mention. I started going to matinee movies which is awesome. The theater is hardly filled, the tickets are half price and there are no lines. In the past with friends no one would ever go to a matinee film. But matinees are awesome!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also you don't have to sit with your friend who absolutely HAS TO sit ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK of the theater. Why would you want to do that? The screen looks so fucking small!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My local theatre was recently bought out by a larger chain. Most of the changes they made were terrible but their online ticketing system allows me to reserve specific seats in certain auditoriums, which means I always get the seat I want.
Blastmaster29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is seriously my favorite thing to do alone. I'm going to the movies Friday afternoon alone and I seriously am giddy just thinking about it
CWSwapigans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy going to a movie solo, but how big of a window are people leaving the movies in?
I feel like the range is about 4 minutes, running from "at the start of the credits" to "at the end of the credits".
ThePabstistChurch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are people just leaving in the middle of movies or something?
Inquisitorsz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you people still not have numbered seating in cinemas?
kalila855 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
11/10 with rice
Ghiestuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:40 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do go to the cinema on my own all the time, mainly because no one I know likes going, usually around once a month I go now.
rekk_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:37:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also you don't have to listen to people in your party talking during the film.
rboymtj ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:46:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm to the point where I only go to the movies alone. The last time I went with other people was a Friday night, we were late because one person was holding it up and we got shitty seats.
Give me Sunday at 11am (or a weekday if I can swing it) by myself and I'm set. I don't even understand why seeing movies is a big social event anyway. You're getting together to sit next to someone in the dark and you're not supposed to talk.
BobDylanBlues ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:05:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing worse than going to a movie with a friend or partner, thoroughly enjoying it, having an emotional response to it, having it change your point of view, and then hearing your companion go "Well that was a giant piece of shit." It's the only reason I tend to see movies alone. It's not like I'm saying that my taste in movies is better than anyone else's but when you get lost in a good movie and you can feel your companion shifting around in their seat or hear them grunting or sighing their way through something you consider to be a masterpiece, it just kind of ruins the moviegoing experience for me. That hour or so after seeing a movie alone is very important to me. It's silent reflection time, no matter what type of movie I just sat through. If I have somebody jamming their opinion down my throat about how boring they thought the movie was it takes me out of the zone.
Elrondel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity, what movie(s) did this occur for you in?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me with The Wolverine. I thought it was really good as far as comic book movies go. When it ended, my friend didn't want to wait for the after credits scene because, in his words, "that was like the worst movie ever." I don't think I've seen a movie with him since.
Elrondel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. I personally didn't like the Wolverine as much as the other X-Men movies, but I still thought that it was a great movie. Shame about your friend.
BobDylanBlues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One example I can recall vividly was at the end of the movie Tsotsi. I went with a friend and the climax is a big tear jerker and I was genuinely choked up. My friend looks over at me during the big climax and goes "Well, that was stupid." The movie hit me on a whole different level than it hit her. Another was Tree of Life. I'm trying to watch and my friend is just sitting there shrugging and making all these annoyed sounds. I said if you want to leave, leave, i'm going to finish this. On the other end of the spectrum I went to see Freddy Got Fingered. It was so stupid and I loved it. The friend I brought to that one complained just the same about how it was juvenile. I don't think the quality or subject matter of the movie makes a difference, opinions vary and for me it's just a safer bet to go alone so I can avoid any judgment and form my own opinion of the movie on my own time.
Elrondel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen either of those, damn :o
HailCeasar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:42:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best is if you're lucky enough to have the theater to yourself. It's only happened to me once, for the movie Hanna. It was glorious.
Breezyb15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me the opening weekend of X-men First Class. Air conditioner was broke and it was hot and awesome.
throw23me ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it kind of depends on the movie, at least for me. If it's a comedy or action movie, I'd definitely prefer to see it with someone (or at the very least a crowded theater). The audience reaction (or your friend's reaction) makes it that much more enjoyable.
When it comes to thrillers or good dramatic films, I totally get you. I don't need people making random comments when I'm totally into the movie. That is more of a solitary experience.
mardybum17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
had a horror movie absolutely ruined for me because these fucking teenage kids would not shut the fuck up...it wasn't just screaming or gasps during scary parts, but they would talk about the scene that just happened, make random dumb comments and laugh for no reason. They were told several times by other attendees and employees to be quiet..but they were never actually thrown out...which was utter bullshit...
OrphanWaffles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Just did it for the first time last night (Jurassic World was fucking awesome) and really enjoyed myself. I got to sit exactly where I wanted and just got to focus entirely on the movie. No girl to distract me, no friends making shitty jokes in my ear the entire time, and no family members.
10/10, am going to do it again this weekend for Ant-Man
pllllllllllllllllll ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:11:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
going to the first showing on a Wednesday is the best. no one there and an entire theater to yourself.
the popcorn is usually not the best, but meh. worth.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially with reserved seating. You don't need to stand in line or sit there for 20+ minutes by yourself killing time on your phone or whatever. Just show up as the pre movie ads are starting and you're golden.
I remember with Dark Knight Rises, I had a day off so went opening Friday. Because of traffic got there just as the IMAX logo was showing. There was one seat left, mine, right in the prime middle, because I'd reserved my seat days earlier.
Zaidswith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
About 2 weeks after Age of Ultron came out I went to the theater to see it mid-afternoon on a Wednesday. Completely alone. Theater was empty except for me. It's amazing.
Darklyte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're obviously going to the movies with the wrong people. (That sounds aggressive. I'm sure you can enjoy a movie fine on your own.) I've never really gone to a movie at a time I didn't want to, or saw one I didn't want to, or sat where I didn't want to (except for the time my friends wanted to see Iron man 2 at midnight and no one wanted to go into the threater and we got shitty shit seats because of it). Plus having the conversation you want to have is beautiful! Then you get to talk about the movie afterwards
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends are lovely and agreeable people. But if I like showing up 30 minutes early (and I do) and I like sitting near the front (and I do), it seems unfair to force it on them. And when I go alone, I get to do it my way.
Darklyte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh that's fair enough. My friends and I prefer sitting closer to the middle, looking for the "optimal viewing distance" where the screen fits just within our primary vision arc. Wanting to fit the screen within your peripheral vision is fine, too, especially if its a good movie like Mad Max.
DanTheTerrible ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you can read a book without seeming rude. Or play with your phone I suppose, but I'm old and like books.
-----------------_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sitting where you want to sit seems only to apply in america (maybe other places)
In denmark all seats have numbers and you pick the seat as you reserve or pay for your tickets online, or at the cinema
You dont just sit where you feel like as you get in
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could do that. Here in NYC we do have one theater like that and I LOVE it. You just show up when you want!
wsm_squirtzilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wish i could give you gold.
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awww, this is just as good. Thanks!
JBRedditBeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you.
senatorskeletor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awwww, I love you back.
WheezyTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw jurrasic world on realeas by myslefe. Sooooo much easier planning by yourself and finding a seat. Just sat down and watched all the groups struggle to find enough room for themselves to sit next to each other. Ive been there guys, sorry :(
RobotLegion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you can get the whole enchilada with a single $20 bill.
sharkplug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly do everything I can to see movies by myself. I typically see them very early into their release. Nothing against my friends I just prefer the ease of going alone.
AAA1374 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I go to the movies for social things. I don't always go to see a movie. In those cases I go alone.
BobSacramanto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, you don't have to worry about finding the "acoustic sweet spot".
Brodogmillionaire1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmmm solo matinees.....
trappedinternethelp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is having the ability to walk out whenever you want. If I go with a friend or date I never walk out in the middle of a movie unless its super obvious we both hate it. I sit through a lot of movies that we talk about it afterwards and we both thought it was shit.
StanleyDarsh22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i was on a business trip and i saw a movie by myself for the first time.
greatest time i've had at the movies ever in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to always go to movies with people until I got a job at a theater. Free movies for me? Awesome. I would try to find people, but they weren't getting in free and didn't always want to spend the money. I said "fuck it" one evening and went to see Chappie all alone (which was fine because it was a mediocre movie), and from then on, I went to see every movie I wanted alone. It's great, sometimes I even clock out from work and just walk straight into a theater. If I see a movie that looks interesting I just go see it. I don't have to worry about the movie being bad since I got in free. Plus, since I work there, the staff turns a blind eye to my bringing in candy. I can also get free Pop and popcorn as well, so that's nice.
written from my iPhone, while working at this theater
Alternative_Baby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since we had our daughter there's often a movie that my OH isn't bothered about seeing and it's hard to get a babysitter during the week (when the tickets are cheaper!). I often go on my own and I love it - two hours peace and quiet with snacks that no one will steal!
Novazilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes see multiple movies at once while alone.
emailboxu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm I love this. I do it any time I ask a few people if they want to watch movie X and I get rejected. Well, I'll just watch it alone then, fuck y'all.
AarBearRAWR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I make a habit of doing this at least once or twice a year, especially to go see movies that none of my friends really care to see. That way I get to see a movie I want, without having to drag someone to the theater that doesn't want to see it! I have seen most Fast and Furious movies alone.
JMAAB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh who is that guy? What is he doing? Is that the girl from that thing? You think it is ok for me to pee? Tell me what happens when I get back.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's true of doing anything by yourself though.
rerdioherd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same with concerts. You can usually score a great single ticket on craiglist the day of shows.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually to watch a movie at the latest times so I can have the whole place to myself and do whatever the fuck I want when I want, going with friends is fun but sometime can be annoying
GeekGroovy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have gone to the movies alone for years by choice. If you go to an art gallery and view art work, do you need a group to take it in? Same idea to me - you go to take in what the artists put together. Don't need others to take it in with you.
MrMeltJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stand it. I need to talk about how awesome or bad the movie was, pick apart its flaws, and just generally make fun of it. On your own you can't really do that until one of your friends sees it, and even then its not the same since it's not fresh.
JaketheSnake54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, do this a lot.
Another reason is my friends are super picky with movies nowadays. Meanwhile I'm just like "another Terminator movie? Oh, why not?"
Civil718 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you watch a movie on netflix for :-D
J3553 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and there's nobody leeching off your popcorn and soda that THEY JUST FUCKING SAID THEY DIDN'T WANT FIVE FUCKING MINUTES AGO IN THE FUCKING LOBBY.
GOD DAMMIT, JACKIE. I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A LARGE IF YOU WOULD HAVE FUCKING SAID SOMETHING. FUCK.
Phyllis_Tine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...So? What did you think?"
mardybum17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I might go see Dope alone this week. I'm excited for it.
benisgwen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elysium, The Wolverine, Guardians of the Galaxy, Kick-Ass 2, Whiplash, Foxcatcher, Birdman, The Dark Knight Trilogy (IMAX all nighter) x2, Man of Steel, Don Jon, Under the Skin, The Fifth Estate, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Thor the Dark World, The Imitation Game, The Hobbit. These are a few I have seen by myself the past couple of years and they were all awesome experiences.
The IMAX all nighters for The Nolan trilogy were the best, I thought there would be more people on their own there but both times everybody (from what I could see) were in groups. Still it was cool to be able to chill by myself during the breaks!
amolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go early so you can sit where you want and there aren't many people in the theater so no one is talking during the fucking movie.
Mistborn22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me the best part of seeing a movie with someone else is discussing it on the ride home/at dessert/etc. later.
Nakatomi2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This only works if you're in good health. I have a medical condition where I have to get up and pee a couple times a movie. Always afraid my spot will get taken.
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of someone stealing a seat during a movie. You're probably fine.
ChemicalSmell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always gone to movies by myself and never thought it was weird. It's not like the other person is contributing anything to the experience.
bokuwahmz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you just go with a friend that you actually like?
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends are lovely even if they may want to sit in a different part of the theater or show up at a different time or even see different movies.
IamNOTfromKansas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're completely right. I've been going to the cinema alone for ages and I love it. It's the best especially in the morning when cinemas are empty.
erinisntrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This why I (F) shop alone as well. No longer have to give an opinion while a friend tries on everything in the store. No longer have to go into every store. I shop with purpose and hate the "window shopping" and "let's just try stuff on".
I've been going to the movies by myself for about 10 yrs now. It's amazing.
dfnkt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the part where you don't have to be mindful of eating your popcorn like a starving Ethiopian like when someone is with you.
TTHtv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it all the time. If I'm bored, have no plans, and want to see something in theaters I just go. I've never felt weird about it either except for when I saw Frozen by myself.
001146379 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus no having to save seats for a group of people because you're the only damn one who showed up on fucking time.
crabbyshells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been willing to eat at a restaurant alone or even go to the bar alone (I'm a woman by the way), but I haven't attempted movie watching alone yet. But you now have me convinced to try. And really, why not see movies alone? During the event it is pretty much a solo activity anyway (i.e. STFU I'm watching this!). Of the three I mentioned it's the one that is most suited for attending alone!
Ugh...I don't know if I like how many times I used the word "alone" here... :-(
ninjafide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LeBron James did it last year, so it's forever socially acceptable.
hey_easynow2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the first time, a long time ago, could not believe the questions and outright "what" I got. I saw a couple that we kinda know at the same movie, I think the rumor would of better if I was cheating rather than see a movie by myself- in case your wondering, not a porn flick
hedonisticminthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get there and leave exactly when you want to? You mean when the movie starts and ends...
simple_mech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus you don't have to share your weed with anyone beforehand!
_idkidc_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just stay at home and watch a movie then? It's definitely cheaper
uss1701jb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not at my dickbag movie theater. You have to reserve seats.
Fuck you, AMC.
SpruceyB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I used to do this all the time when I was younger, go on discount days and catch something none of my friends would go see. Usually something foreign, Korean cinema was having a bit of a boom at the time so a lot Korean films. I really enjoyed seeing Save The Green Planet! which I never would have seen if I'd been going with friends
venterol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did this for the first time at Guardians of the Galaxy, I was in a different city visiting a friend (he was still at work) and it was the last week it would be in theaters so I decided to go for it. Totally worth it, I snuck in some vodka and had a blast.
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, some movies are meant to be watched alone (ex. tear-jerkers).
ChanceTheDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I brought two beers with me to see the new terminator all by myself.
Jai Courtney was the only bad part of that day, lemme tell ya.
ProdigalSheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, only downside is you have no one to fill you in on what you missed if you run to the bathroom.
upward_bound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do that all the time (although now that I'm partnered I don't do it as often). The only weird part is when it's a kids movie and the parents give you weird looks.
(I'm not here to see your kids mam, I'm here to see the movie)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing a brand new release on Sunday in a Utah movie theater. You'll be one of five or six people in the theater.
Riztonium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must be an asshole, I sit where I want regardless.
c_wilkinson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a movie theatre and there is honestly nothing nicer than finishing work in the afternoon/evening and just relaxing by watching a movie alone! I really enjoy it. Plus I don't have to share my snacks with anyone.
HitlerWasASexyMofo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But everyone looks at you and thinks 'haha, dateless loser!'
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they really notice. And if they do, so what?
HitlerWasASexyMofo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. I avoid the issue by staying home and watching reruns of Golden Girls.
sawbonez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched Jurassic World by myself the other night and it was great. I like to get there a little early and get my snacks and find a seat but my friends always bitch about having to go early.
The4077thunit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm cool with seeing movies by yourself but hanging out with friends isn't a hassle Jesus Christ..
jckrn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can do this when the movies come out to DVD/Stream... no need for other annoying viewers, can pause the movie, no expensive snacks, etc...
BrianWantsTruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw Jurassic World on opening day by myself. Got there 15 mins before show, found a seat easily, exactly where I wanted. Even pairs had to sit in ridiculous spots, but groups of 4 or 5 were still arriving during previews. What did they expect?
link6112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't get dragged into 3D movies either.
Deako87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea why I feel so weird doing this. I really don't. There is zero reason you can't see a movie by yourself.
It just feels strange and lame.
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live near a small, two projector theater. I could walk there from my house.
I went and saw Austin Powers in that theater and I was literally the only person there. It was fucking awesome.
Wearenotacodfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Travelling alone (as long as you don't have luggage) is also fantastic for all these reasons.
vitaminz1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once because I had to wait for my buddy to get off work. It was my best movie experience ever.
Dracosage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My personal record is going to the theater alone three times in one week.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When I lived in Zรผrich, Switzerland, I enjoyed going to the movies. The first time I went, I was happy to see that the whole front of the theater was empty so as usual I picked my favorite spot smack in the middle. Then I noticed everyone else was sitting all the way in the back in full rows. I looked at my ticket and realized it had a seat number on it. Everyone was looking at me as if I were crazy. I don't know why the theater assigned the tickets starting at the back, but everyone sat according to their assigned seat. I did this many times and other than strange looks, everyone was too polite to bother me except for one person. They came up to me and asked if that was my seat. I said "no". They said "what if the person who is assigned that seat arrives?" I indicated the vast sea of empty seats around me and said "then I'll move." I never got the assigned seats thing. He looked at me as if my reckless anarchy was the work of the devil, but he couldn't think of a counter argument.
When I went to concerts there it was similar. I took my assigned seat, but as an American I was the only one who would stand up and whoop and holler and clap. All the Swiss people stayed politely in their seats and golf-clapped. And this was for shows like Led Zeppelin, Santana, and Elton John. They thought I was a freak, but I didn't care.
Another time, at my workplace, I noticed that when all the monitors in the office had been unboxed, no one had taken off the annoying advertising stickers on the bezels. They were garish and stupid, so I went around and took them all off. Later, my boss asked me if I did it and I told him I had. He asked me why, and I said they were ugly and not designed to stay there. He seemed annoyed, but couldn't really think of any harm I had done. But I could tell he was still mad. So I said "they're supposed to come off. That is their function." He seemed somewhat satisfied with that.
Swiss people are very nice, but their passion for tidiness is very true.
marcm6246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I might go to the movies tomorrow :)
isthistaken- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The popcorn is all yours!
Krypt0night ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just went and watched mad max alone last week. Loved the movie and loved being alone
sunshinepills ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:28:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's because I'm an only child so I learned to be okay with my own company, but I'm always shocked that people find doing things alone to be so strange. I'm far from being a loner, I have friends and am in a great relationship, but I usually prefer to do things by myself.
SuperSalsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's partially it. I'm an only child too, but one of my college roomates had a ton of siblings(as in, at least 5. I've since forgotten the exact number).
It was like night and day - I was great at keeping myself entertained, she wasn't. I had no problem going places by myself, she tended to have company.
murdera ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:32:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those things are totally acceptable socially.
VladimirTebow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'd argue it's kind of the case for high school. God I fucking hated high school. Just the few pricks made you think everyone was keeping score on your popularity.
Sublimebro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:24:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you okay
goldeagle9 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:41:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I have friends that won't do anything alone. Honestly are people really that scared of being judged for being by themselves?
nursebad ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:01:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my alone time. I almost prefer to travel and go out alone, and I'm female, which makes it extra weird for some people. Just because I'm sitting at a bar, eating alone doesn't make me a sad cat lady or looking to get laid.
intensely_human ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:59:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dot understand how anything can be socially unacceptable if you're alone. If you're alone, who's going to be offended?
Cheehos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:25:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to baseball games solo is fantastic. Scalpers are usually desperate to offload single tickets, so they can be had super cheap.
waterdrinker9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sporting events can be awesome by yourself. Being someone who likes to get there early and watching players warmup, you don't have to worry about being late. You also can get a ticket for the price and seat that you want and not have to worry about people flaking or not liking your seat choice.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Solo baseball is one of life's lesser appreciated pleasures. I'm a foreigner who loves, loves, loves baseball, and i've almost exclusively dated other foreigners in the last four years, none of whom 'get' it. I'd way rather look 'weird' to someone than not enjoy a game when my partner is like "i'm bo~~~~~red"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:08:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more eating in public alone, is for whatever reason, considered weird. I do it all the time, I got over the 'shame' of it pretty quickly. Nothing makes you forget what others think of you more than enjoying a beautiful steak in peace and quiet.
expatato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always pop into a cafe or pub for breakfast. Sometimes restaurant for their lunch menu. I just sit with a book and enjoy the alive time.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pubs and cafes I've not had any weirdness with, but semi-upscale or fine dining, which i barely get to do and love to do alone (i really really like food and havent dated someone who appreciates it like I do) I get some stares, like "why would she spend 100 bucks to sit here alone" well because Im dropping a hundo and I want to make sure I'm enjoying it.
Telhelki ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason I see movies with other people is so I have someone to hear my witty remarks.
kansasjeremy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i finally got over that fear and it's amazing. I can eat lunch in like half the time, enjoy any movie I want, workout at the gym by myself.
i like doing things my way at my own speed.
BoomBangKersplat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a coworker who was floored when he found out I go the mall alone. Apparently, he's never gone to a mall by himself. Ever.
SuperSalsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell him to look around the next time he's at the mall. Lots of people in groups, but also lots of people alone. :)
I can't imagine dragging something along every single time I needed to buy something, but that's just me.
TomioHoshino ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I find that it is a lot easier to plan a trip or an outing alone than with friends or family. In the past few months, I've gone down to 7 baseball games and an art museum all on my own in a nearby major city, and I have had a huge blast. When I go out with friends or family to events like this, I have to either follow their rules or follow what they want to do.
Again, it's just so much easier to go out and plan activities for yourself than with family or friends. You get to figure out what you like and/or don't like, and it can be relaxing and fun to do in the process.
Valkyrie21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just hate the stares from others. I get it people, I'm a young lady who's very much alone. It's alright.
ingridelena ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore them. Once you stop giving off that guilty "oh shit I'm alone" look they prob won't pay attention. I can see that look from a mile away even when people are in booths.
Valkyrie21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can almost feel the stares. It can get a little annoying but most of the time I just plug my headphones in and scroll through reddit while I eat.
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience it only felt like this at first when I was awkward and aware of it. But honestly most times I go someplace on my own there are others there alone too.
Valkyrie21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that people tend to find it out of the ordinary because of my age. I mean it's not often that you see a 20-something year old out eating alone, especially if they're a woman.
FacialFiesta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ate alone at a restaurant the other day and it was the most pleasant meal i've ever had
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sweet baby Jesus I LOVE eating out alone! For pretty much the same reasons /u/senatorskeletor listed. I picked whatever I want to eat, I can splurge since it's just myself, and I can read a book or just enjoy the company of myself without anyone bothering me.
JPOnion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I rarely do stuff with other people. I didn't realize people thought it was an issue until recently, and I still don't understand why. Nobody cares, nobody looks at you like you're a sad loner or whatever. Plus, it's actually fun and in some cases much better than with a group (ie: movies)
Duudeski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irrelevant to the question, he said unacceptable.
tristamgreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially unacceptable?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One day I just wanted to get out of the house so I went to a movie theatre and watched GI Joe by myself. The movie was fucking awful but the experience of being by myself was nice.
fannypacks4ever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much this. I wanted ramen and went to my favorite spot. It's always a bit crowded there on the weekends, but the waiter said about 15 minutes or so. It ended up being 30 minutes, but when they said my name, party of one, I could hear the family next to me gasp and the mother even saying, "That's so sad!" Fuck you, you're the only one making me feel bad you asshole.
Another place, I was eating alone and ordered a beer with my food. It was about 2pm. And the waitress gave me a surprised funny look. I miss big cities where no one gives a fuck. :(
IttybittyErin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I travel for work and I'm almost always alone. I go out to eat alone multiple times a week, I've been to baseball games and movies and concerts alone. I do touristy things alone all the time. Im getting paid to see the world! Then I come home and my friends will sit in the car and wait for me to get to the mall because its "weird" to walk around the mall alone. It's hard some weeks to switch gears and start doing things with people again.
tsuki_toh_hoshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My SO and I do this. People look at you weird if you go into a restaurant alone
Malamel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a 7 day cruise (3 days in Bermuda) alone. It was fantastic. I got to relax, do what I wanted when I wanted. Best vacation ever.
thisiswilson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:27 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturdating
Zukuni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't like doing things alone. I get bored if I'm on my own.
cmath89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone to see a movie by myself before. It was quite nice.
madelee91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I recently moved across the country alone and have had to start taking myself out so as to not become a complete hermit. I love it now. I often prefer going out alone; I frequently meet new people and generally prefer my own musings to forced chit chat with acquaintances. Bars, restaurants, movies; it's all fair game- except super fancy restaurants, then I look like I've been stood up and people just look at you all sympathetically- it gets annoying.
jondraws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found myself stuck at a different movie theater because their system went down after I had purchased a ticket and no one else could get in. I didn't want to waste my ticket and went anyway. Caught up with people and discussed afterwards. Was the same experience but had better seats being on my own.
Was still harassed about seeing a movie by my self though..
Photovoltaic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love sitting at an empty bar alone, with me and the bartender.
They can be as talkative as you need them to be!
Oconitnitsua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturdating
K_Swaggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't eat out or see a movie alone, but I don't mind being alone in my house or kicking a soccer ball around. I never understand why people need to be with others constantly.
mrmahoganyjimbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating in public alone isn't socially acceptable? Shit, I must look like the weirdest person at chipotle then.
CrimsonPig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the stigma against seeing a movie by yourself. It's not much of a social event even if you go with people, you're just sitting there saying nothing for a couple hours.
londondancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would suggest going to the theatre (theater) alone. Pretty much every time I've gone alone, I've bought a cheap seat at the back of the upper circle, only to then get there and find I've been upgraded for free to a single random seat in the stalls, just because they want to fill empty seats. This especially works for a show that's not a fri/sat evening
I_try_compute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a 6 hour hike alone this weekend because I enjoy being outdoors and we have a really nice state park near us. Upon my return, my friends were concerned if I was okay, which of course I was. Apparently enjoying nature and alone time is cause for concern.
ilaunchpad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends couldn't get my desire to travel alone. First of all, I'm single and I don't want to wait around for others to do what I enjoy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are only unacceptable to younger people. As you get older you crave these moments.
MrDonamus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go to a local bar once a week and eat and have a few beers by myself. I deal with enough people all fucking week that I just want some alone time and watch whatever they have on the TVs.
humma__kavula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I'm always on the road for work I eat most of my meals alone. Its kinda nice. Smartphones have made it much more tolerable though.
troprice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am 18 years old and I have been golfing for about three years now. About two weeks ago, I decided to try out a new club by going out and playing golf alone, for the first time. I usually am not alone, often with friends or family doing things around town. So though it was never weird for me to do things alone, i don't do it very often. But that day was the greatest for me in terms of golfing. I had so much fun by myself, and I was smiling almost the entire time. I felt no pressure, and I could just play like I enjoy playing. I shot the best I ever had, an 81, because of the absence of other bullshit. I have noticed the same things in social situations. People feel pressured to act cool or say the right thing with others. But when you are alone, its no stress. Love getting some alone time in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a problem with this until I realized that I wasn't even seeing half the movies I wanted to see (friends were cheapskate bums and no one else would've been interested). When I just said "screw it" and saw whatever I wanted, alone or not, it was awesome.
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never understand why people think it's weird to see a movie alone. If I don't have anyone to go with and it's a scifi movie that I'm not going to drag my fiancee to see with me, what's the big deal? I can leave on time, get there on time and have no one talking to me distracting me from the movie.
tessellated0505 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you had to see a movie with someone, they would sell the tickets in pairs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the only way I can do anything.
excusemefucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People eating alone don't bother me at all. The couple on a date that both sit on the same side of the booth, leaving the other side empty, bother me. weirdos.
MurgleMcGurgle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started eating lunch alone when I started a job 45 minutes from home with an hour unpaid lunch. It felt weird at first but its not as uncommon as you think.
potatoslasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get the seeing a movie alone part.......do people actually look down at that??? I do it all the time and nobudy seems to give a shit....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't call that socially unacceptable, I just think a lot of folks aren't comfortable doing it.
reiv90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is socially unacceptable. I do it a lot and I don't give a damm what people thinks.... It's about personality.
notsoawkward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood the eating in public one. If I'm hungry, I'm gonna go get something to eat!
tdt0005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are people that think it's really weird that I will eat and go to movies alone, and I don't really understand why. I don't have a gf and if I want to see a movie, I'm going to see a movie. But most of my friends are married and don't want to do anything half the time. Plus I don't live near most of them. And since I'm single and don't like to waste time cooking, I go out to eat a lot. I'm not going to not eat at a favorite restaurant because some strangers might think I don't have any friends.
emt_liz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a navy gf I got over the whole alone thing the first underway. Then when he gets home I can bring him to all the near little places I found.
sweetbbycakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to eat my lunch alone all the time in high school. Some random girl came up to me one day and was like "you are so brave to be on your own like this, idk how I could do it". Seriously?
waterdrinker9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being socially awkward, I love this because I can work on it by talking to people and not have a friend join the conversation and over shadow me.
Abs0lutelyzero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my car wasn't working right and I would have to wait for a ride after I got off of work, I loved walking to the restaurant down the street and having a beer and redditing/reading/relaxing by myself for a while. My coworkers were all shocked by it and thought it was weird, but that was my "me time" and it was glorious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a rap concert by myself a couple of weeks ago. it was great.
ElopingElephants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god this! I may only be in High school, but sometimes when either all my friends have class or I just want to take myself out to a nice lunch, I encounter these groups of people that basically just try to take pity on me and like incorporate me in their lunch plans, even if they obviously don't want to. "Why are you going to eat alone?" "Because my friends all have class." "Oh." fake sad face. Fuck off holy shit...
eskimoe25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We live in an extroverted society where people can't even fathom being comfortable by themselves. I find it rather sad actually.
rolllingthunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a cruise with my family recently. Because the cost was a tad too much ($1800) to bring my SO, I basically did everything that I couldn't drag a sibling with me to alone. Back when I was 16/17/18 I didn't think anything of it. Now that I'm 24, it seems like I get awkward glances from people when I do stuff alone. I get maybe it's like families just being aware of strangers or whatever, but by God if I want to drink some beers on my lonesome while watching inception at 8 pm, it's my damn vacation.
wolfballlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try and go to cinemas alone nearly everytime. Arrive early, pick my preferred seat etc. Eating alone in a restaurant is also fun if you have a decent book/podcast.
CheeseToastieMaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, apparently, is now called "masturdating".
rageharles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go to shows alone all the time. I barely know anyone who's into the same music I am, much less into paying to see that stuff live. It used to turn me off to going to shows, but now I really enjoy it. It's better than having a friend want to ditch after the first hour of a 3 hour show.
LiquorTsunami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being in outside sales, I am often out by myself between customer visits getting lunch. For some reason eating alone while working doesn't phase me, but if I tried to do it on a weekend or something, I feel weird.
milkyxj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Married guy here. I LOVE going out to eat without my family. It's peaceful & cheap compared to all of us
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I've come to enjoy both.
carefree710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love doing these things by myself.
AbeRego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who travels a lot for work, I got used to this very quickly.
HoboLaRoux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never saw this as strange. People who travel for work often have to eat alone. I did it for years but it does get old. I can't really enjoy going to a restaurant by myself anymore.
GuyAboveIsStupid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see a movie every Monday after work by myself. 3 times out of 4 I'll get a theater all to myself, kick my feet up, snack on popcorn, no annoying mother fuckers. Glorious
RainyDayMatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Single for years; going to a Saturday afternoon movie - and eating double-buttered popcorn like I'm about to be executed - has become such a treasured ritual that I fret about losing it when I find a partner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I do this all the time.
DragonFeller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a term for that
ihave7thumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the term someone made for this is masturdating
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eating out alone is considered odd? what.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing things alone is socially unacceptable? I never heard that before.
AutonomyForbidden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have such a hard time doing this. Not because I worry what people are thinking, or that I will stand out. It is because I hate doing things alone. Ive seen one movie, and eaten 3 meals out on the town all by myself.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I didn't realize that was socially unacceptable.
TheBraveLittleiPhone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. I am doing this right now. Everyone is probably staring at me while I type this. Also saw a reply about drinking before 11A, and I am having an Irish coffee. What else... kinda high, probably.
But I'm on vacation!
bangarang710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get strange looks whenever I eat alone or watch a movie. goddamn why is this so frowned upon
bored_at_work_89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating alone is very relaxing to me. I almost never eat meals alone and being able to just eat and relax without talking is amazing.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm eating lunch at a steakhouse right now (not an everyday thing, treating myself) and everyone is glaring like I got stood up. The waiter wasn't judgy but he was like "oh we get a young lady in here who comes in once a year bc her late fiancรฉ proposed to her at lunch here"
... can I not eat in peace without a sob story?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife travels, I do this shit too.
ofoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The real reason why single player games were invented.
Sabuleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Info request here... I entirely fail to see why this is considered socially unacceptable. What is the stigma against doing stuff alone in the USA please?
acaelwarts09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work swing, and when I get done working my string of nights I go and have breakfast somewhere. I just sit and read the paper and enjoy myself. Sometimes the waitress always makes a point to sit and talk to me almost the whole time. I don't have the guts to tell her to go away. I really just enjoy being alone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never understood the movie stigma. Ideally you aren't talking or interacting with the people next to you so I don't see how going with people is any better.
Also, I eat when I go to a restaurant. It could be in a dark alley, as long as I have good food I'll be in and out in fifteen or so minutes.
ReginaldSassiphrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was never aware that doing things like that by yourself were "socially unacceptable". I've been doing that since my Freshman year of high school, now 20. Whenever I tried going with friends no one would make their damn mind up on what to do. Going to theatres and to resteraunts alone are one of my favorite things to do!
geckosean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is socially unacceptable and more so just unusual. I would notice someone eating alone and wonder why they were alone, but I wouldn't think it was rude or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like eating in booth's alone. Several restaurants close to me exclusively have booths or 4 person tables and I feel like I'm taking a table that a group could actually use.
But if theres a 2 person table then I'm all for it.
ron_e123 ยท 6090 points ยท Posted at 14:15:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Putting elbows on the table while eating. Does anyone really give a fuck?
TheKandyCinema ยท 4121 points ยท Posted at 14:29:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why that was so rude. I did that once in a fancy restaurant and almost got kicked out.
DB2V2 ยท 4727 points ยท Posted at 14:52:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It originally started from when sailors where eating on ships and they would put their elbows on the table to keep their dish from sliding during rougher seas. As this became a habit for them they would also do it while not out to sea and at pubs and such. Well sailors didn't have the best reputation for being clean, and well-mannered so non-sailors didn't want to be associated with them and thus would not put their elbow on tables. Hence where this rule came from!
Edit - After posting in /r/askhistorians earlier today asking about this, it appears this can be traced back way further than I thought possible https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/3d4u5k/what_are_the_origins_of_not_placing_ones_elbows/, other answers have included farmers being dirty from the fields, not wanting to unbalance the table that was being used to eat on since people were on one side, royalty not wanting to have people hiding concealed daggers and such underneath the table, not taking up that room on the table, and many more as can be read below. All in all this has been a very interesting read from my perspective! Thanks for any of the contributions that could help shed light on this socially unacceptable item.
[deleted] ยท 4337 points ยท Posted at 15:00:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did you make this up?
DB2V2 ยท 3879 points ยท Posted at 15:02:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, learned it back when I was in the Navy.
[deleted] ยท 4617 points ยท Posted at 15:06:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DB2V2 ยท 884 points ยท Posted at 15:10:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You know i've never really thought about it. I'll try and report back, i'm off to /r/AskHistorians.
Edit - I have since posted there, here's the thread for if it gets some answers. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/3d4u5k/what_are_the_origins_of_not_placing_ones_elbows/
meltingparadiso ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:47:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The top post TL;DR: It goes back further than maritime dining. This was a defensive pose too keep people from stealing your food. Since it was common practice with lower classes and the poor, the upper classes sought to separate themselves from the hostile practice.
FearMeIAmRoot ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:05:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Summary for the lazy:
CaptainUnusual ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:47:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sub is great. I always love seeing a thread with 80 comments and all but the mod's warnings were deleted.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you rather people who don't know what they're talking about convince you of untrue shit?
vertexoflife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like /r/askreddit?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:30:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/askreddit isnt meant for 100% factual information
MrBrutusChubbs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:20:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever it was is gone now. :/
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:31:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MrBrutusChubbs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that's pretty funny
vertexoflife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they got banned.
MrBrutusChubbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I figured as much. That didn't seem like a researched answer, after all.
zefy_zef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nah someone answered it again.
zefy_zef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the verdict is in. /r/AskHistorians says it doesn't fucking matter, but gives a detailed description of how it most likely came to be.
pedrodevoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR: Yes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the people that answer there. So much knowledge on niche and interesting things.
Happy-Tears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well done, sir!
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 17:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could think about it for three seconds and realize that something as simple and common as putting your elbows on the table didn't have to be "invented". Sailors didn't invent it any more than miners invented nose-picking to clear out coal dust. It's comfortable, people have rested on shit since the goddamn dawn of man.
tonycomputerguy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey buddy. You okay? Need to get something off your chest?
Cuz you sound like somebody pissed in your corn flakes.
Relax.
worminthewoodwork ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:03:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.culinarylore.com/food-history:no-elbows-on-the-table
OllyTrolly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:34:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, interesting response in there :).
TrevorPC ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:14:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
P delivered!
InfinityCircuit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:48:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bah gawd, those mods in /r/askhistorians have some seriously rustled jimmies from all us barbarians trashing that thread.
[deleted] ยท 5069 points ยท Posted at 15:08:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, they learned it back when they were in the Navy.
redditrandomacc ยท 2609 points ยท Posted at 15:33:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you in the Navy?
dezradeath ยท 4824 points ยท Posted at 15:47:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, they just happen to work at Old Navy.
Chand_laBing ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 16:09:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sniff sniff... He's not making it up, fellas
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, wolverine!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:44:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats the most upvotes ive seen this far down in a comment chain
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:19:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
supernaga ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:55:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yvan eht nioj
ThePissyRacoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just brought back a flood of simpsons memories. It's like that was my sleeper agent code.
davekian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:54:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can sail seven seas!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:08:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IN THE NAVY!
gobucks04 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:32:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a trap! Source: used to be in the Navy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TO BE AROUND SEA MEN RIGHT?! RIGHT?!?! HAHA HAHAH HAHAHAHA HA
clpage1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on and join your fellow man!
The_Antlion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It'll set your mind at ease.
Plokoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yvan Eht Nioj
GoTzMaDsKiTTLez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A GLOBAL FORCE FOR GOOD
martia_larts ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:42:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Rusty still in the Navy?
ProudMeninist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Davy is still in the Navy, and probably will be for life.
SinnerOfAttention ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, what are you doing here?
SoulFire6464 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THAAAA BLESSSSSSING. THEY WANT YOU TO SAY THE BLESSING.
Engagethedawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No thats Davy who's still in the navy, and probably will be for life.
Matt6453 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What colour is his suit?
hitlerosexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Poor rusty.
simmonsg ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:36:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, Chuck Testa.
WigglyWastebin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah 2011.
SpellingIsAhful ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night.
Kepgnar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
did you make this up?
TheGuy968 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that was perfect
zer0w0rries ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:14:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a former employee, I can confirm that this was not made up at Old Navy.
supercheetah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you sail the seven seas?
NewHampster4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yvan eht nioj
Cry_ery_tyme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are there any SAILS at Old Navy?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are they old?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This pun hurts.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know. Same thing.
espais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did Old Navy make this up?
bipnoodooshup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't they work at the new one?
thatwasnotkawaii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does Old Navy work in the Navy?
kainazzzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And probably will be for life.
Veggdegg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yvan eht nioj.
SayceGards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this your most upvoted comment?
dezradeath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently it is. Glad it was in a funny comment chain. Totally reflects me as a person.
potadoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's turtles all the way down!
NorthsideBurrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old Slavey?
dicksypoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you learn this at old navy?
I-am-shoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where they read it in "a book" about the Navy
I-am-shoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That they got from their friend in the Coast Guard
jasonlg3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Chuck Testa.
nojerryitsjerky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:27:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DAMNIT DAD.
ladyshanksalot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:15:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why male models?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're actually the Village People
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:04:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YVAN EHT NIOJ
JakeTheCake714 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HEY YOU! JOIN THE NAVY!
Lane95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I AM THE NAVY
absump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but I sing the song sometimes.
mouldyscrotum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Chuck Testa.
HeyBroHaveaNiceDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. We want you, we want you, we want you in the captain's crew.
brokenantennaguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Davy???
FobbingMobius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably will be for life.
one_nut_wonder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He is the Navy.
BoxSquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"No sir, cats hate water. I just like they logo."
StoveTopMcStuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grizz was in the navy.
chowder138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am Navy.
JackkHammerr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, but he learned about it when he was in the Navy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yvan eht nioj! SON
Dohan11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is Rusty still in the navy?
Bigr789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Davy and I'm pretty hot stuff in the navy.
KingNosmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. But he loves to stay at the
Y M C A
AskMeAboutMyWiener_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must be having a fucking stroke.
All these comments look the same to me.
SuperSaiyanCrota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No this is patrick
ThatZBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is the Navy made up?
Vamking12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa TIL
Glennus626 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha, what a bullshit way to rack up 6000+ comment karma and reddit gold. Good job :)
ioweyou90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Navy's hate him!
ferlessleedr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You joke but really, most information passed around in an organization from older members to younger members was probably gleaned the same way by the older members.
Parsley_Sage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try but it won't work, it's navy all the way down.
toonytoon180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did they sail the seven seas though?
rayned0wn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If the Navy was in the Navy. Than the Navy IS the Navy, and if the Navy is the Navy, then who the fuck is robert paulson!?
VitQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yvan eht nioj.
KousKous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would the Navy do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?
Sign up today and you'll totally be a SEAL. Or an astronaut. SEALstronaut? Sure, why not. Sign this and can you hold a paintbrush? Just checking.
oblio76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way this is true. Think about it: He's saying no one ever put their elbows on the table until sailors started to?
CJ090 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I must have missed that training.
herrmister ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The navy told you garbage. It dates back to European court etiquette from the late Middle Ages.
heveabrasilien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does the US Navy (I assume you're in the US) ban elbows on the table while eating?
The_Yar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely made up, though. The Navy is known for a whole lot of bullshit stories they tell people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IN THE NAVYYYYY
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can sail the seven seas!
nimbusdimbus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never learned that when I was in the Navy.
DB2V2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was an individual Chief who told me when I had my elbows on the table because he didn't want his sailors to be setting a bad example for non-naval personnel.
horneke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, the Navy made it up then?
countchocula86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you learned something yourself then when you post it you have to put "Source: Im a lawyer" thats just how reddit works
Crackerpool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was from farmers coming back with dirty elbows.
Matthew212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it differently. That putting on your elbows means you weren't given enough food, so you're sitting there waiting for more
come_on_seth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hoisted arrow for great naval trivia & your service
BlatantConservative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, yes.
Do you know the difference between a sea story and a fairy tale?
One begins with "once upon a time" and the other begins with "no shit"
ShagMeNasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh. The American government made it up.
greenroom628 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hasn't it changed since then? doesn't the navy have stabilizing tables now on gimbals like on some boats? so you have to keep your elbows off the table or else you'd tilt it?
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't tell you as I was never stationed on a ship.
HelloRMSA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, you learned it from reddit.
I-got-new-legs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public Masturbation
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're a dirty, foul-mouthed sailor?
Disregard this man, gentleman. To the smoking room.
Irishonyx33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for your service.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:33:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I remember learning marine corps history in boot camp and learning about a certain battle in the revolutionary war where people were communicating from ship to land via radio.
No I'm not making that up. And the teacher was a marine corps drill instructor. Moral of the story: don't believe anything you hear in the military.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:51:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do restaurants just assume everyone has dirty sailor elbows? thats kind of rude.
MrQaseem ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:05:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's all head canon now.
MattTheFlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, YOU'RE a head canon.
Beefyvagina ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:20:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course he did. The user name DB2V2 clearly means "Dinner Bullshit to Validate Tablemanners."
DB2V2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:32:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey now, it's Douchebag 2nd Class, Version 2!
redgamut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And here I thought it was the old database you were using.
that_baddest_dude ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:06:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/TodayIBullshitted
Baham99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was literally expecting the ending to be, "one day, a non-sailor whose elbows were on the table was accused of being a sailor and summarily executed with a seaman's sword. Ever since that day, all non-sailors began advocating for the discontinued use of their elbows on the table while typing 'OP did not use the /serious tag'."
TheMagicJesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes he did. It was originally because families were bigger and tables were smaller
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything on the internet is true. Especially unsubstantiated claims.
Uncle_Skeeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, he made it up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haven't you heard of CANOE?
sonsue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe so.
DeityAmongMortals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that it was rude because it showed there was empty space on the table. Implying that the host had not provided enough food to cover the eating area. Apparently this was considered rude at a time when good was more scarce
DirtyGhettoOmelette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/seeminglytruefacts needs more of this type of stuff. Unfortunately, all I can come up with is shitty word origins, but that's not what I intended. I want more stuff like that! Please, someone!
civilian11214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting to hear that they did once, but their father beat him with jumper cables.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:33:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's full of shit because I put my elbows on the table... not to keep the dish there, but because it's comfortable.
Why must there be a super interesting tradition tied to everything? It's just comfortable to put your elbows on the table. It probably originated by the fact that people need to have their elbows on the table to hold their face up, which in turn makes them look bored. To avoid having people look bored, they made this dumb rule.
[deleted] ยท 1203 points ยท Posted at 16:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Actually the rule dates from the middle ages, and is an advisory in manuals of etiquette (along with not wiping ones nose on the table cloth).
Theories are abound as to what significance is (or was) actually attributed to having ones elbows on the table. The most popular theories are:
Insulting the wealth and status of a host. It may have been construed that putting ones elbows on the table was to indirectly suggest that the host could not afford to flood the table with food, thus insulting their wealth, and by extension, their status
Stance. When you put your elbows on a table you automatically hunch over, or at least move in closer to the table. This could be taken in two different ways. First you may come across as angered, displeased, or violent, as hunching is a natural characteristic of being in the aforementioned moods, as is drawing closer to someone so as to invade their personal space. Second the suggestion is made that you yourself may be boorish, poorly educated and therefore not worth of your status as our ancient ancestors are (and were) often depicted hunched over food eating like animals.
Additional fun fact:
Manuals of etiquette that featured rules such as "do not steal the cutlery" and "do not wipe your nose on the table cloth" were actually aimed at the upper classes of the medieval age, by modern standards most medieval people of similar status would have atrocious table manners.
Edit: For those of you who have heard different reasoning behind the no elbows on the table rule, please do share! While the timings of my post are factually accurate, the reasonings are merely common speculation by historians. It's likely we'll never know the true answer, but reading the other reasons is fascinating!
smm111 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:03:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read a 1700s etiquette manual once, and it specifically said not to burp or "break wind" at the table-- and if you had to, at least turn to the side and do it discreetly. Also not to eat off other people's plates. I guess if people did that, they did need a manual.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:51:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget that's the 1700's. In the 12-1400's when these things were becoming popular they must have had some strange rules in, things that we take for granted now.
Lover_Of_The_Light ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually in the middle ages people did share plates and cups, I assume because there wasn't enough for everyone in lower- and middle-class households.
Edit: sauce
DB2V2 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:45:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, excellent reply! Looks like my Navy elbow fun fact just got replaced.
trickyd88 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:10:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So did you make that up?
channingman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:18:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not. It's probably an old sailors' tale
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which are like old wives tales, only less cursing.
mnh1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:19:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, it makes it difficult to serve plates or deliver food to the table if you're leaning over it.
psymunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes a lot of sense. Where you position an empty glass or how you leave cutlery on a plate are all non-verbal indicators to servants signalling when you are finished with a plate or need more to drink.
bitch_im_a_lion ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:35:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine it's also a status thing. Like you know somebody's high class because they know and abide rules of etiquette they were taught when young. If it was in an etiquette book that you had to walk backwards with your hands in the air when entering all buildings, you'd bet high class people would do it without question because it signals to others that they are more educated and wealthy than they are.
Though this is entirely a guess on my part and based on what I know of the way high born people in Game of Thrones try to pay strict attention to how they carry themselves because they have to separate themselves from the low born peasants.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:24:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it's most definitely a status thing. Etiquette was (and is) a massive indicator of social status. Back in medieval England, if you could afford the tutoring and the books you were definitely someone worth knowing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly like the modern day job interview.
blowmonkey ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:11:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading Chuck Palahniuk's book, Survivor, it has all these really detailed rules of etiquette that the main character knows. Assuming that these were all actual rules, it was conveyed as a way to make those of low status look foolish. The rules were almost always outside of common sense, and needlessly intricate so that you would only get it right if you had been taught. It was a really good read.
SheeEttin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For example, how to properly set a table--or how to use each utensil.
Go ahead, can you tell me where the dessert spoon goes without looking it up?
kbol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On top of (north of) the plate. But, I had to take cotillion when I was younger, so not really an unbiased source.
esoterictree ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:48:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, you've met the LAPD...
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If people will waste money on shitty handbags with letters on them, I'm sure they'd sit less comfortably.
shawnisboring ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:05:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So we're currently being hassled by wealthy uptight European men from hundreds of years ago? F that noise.
mastigia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:42:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate to break it to you, but that same group of people influenced and still influence a lot more in our daily lives than just how we sit at a table.
BarkchipOfDoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you learn that while you were in the Navy?
hvrock13 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:11:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ when I sit at a table I just want to eat, I don't care who it pisses off.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In medieval Europe (where many of these etiquette rules were developed) pissing off the wrong people could have disastrous consequences. If you were a low level lord trying to impress a social superior knowing your etiquette could not only be a make or break, but could be the difference between life and death.
hvrock13 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit I'm glad times have changed and I don't have to impress anyone when I eat wings and end up looking like a baby after a messy meal.
urbanpsycho ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:01:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would probably be at the medieval equivalent of Buffalo Wild Wings where anyone worth impressing would be far, far away.
Looking like a baby after a messy meal would impress me. Clearly you enjoyed the shit out of those wings. :)
hvrock13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you're damn right I enjoy my wings. Bdubs, probably in my top 5 for food. Good call
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? The ones I've been to in mass served shitty bar food and cheap not amazing beers.
hvrock13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best kind of restaurant.
transmogrified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, unless you want to hang out with or otherwise impress people that might be offended. But if you don't think you'd be inclined to like them anyway, it's not a problem.
rollntoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a person who has a hard time not putting elbows on tables i can say that your statement about hunching is incorrect. People put elbows on the table because trying to sit straight without support either by leaning on the back of a chair or putting elbows on the table kills the lower back and makes one hunch
Tugalord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As always, the actual informative post has one sixth if the upvotes of the funny one.
shaunsanders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The one I feel is most likely: it's a display of confidence.
Being hunched over your food due to either bad posture or because you fear someone taking your food vs. sitting up and proper, leaving your food vulnerable to being taken... But you know no one would dare take it.
Or maybe those reasons just apply in prison.
NotReallyAGenie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 6'4". I put my elbows on the table to avoid hunching.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is closer to what I assumed, a leftover of the table etiquette age. To be proper, you shouldn't have your elbows on the table because it doesn't make your posture look good. Usually, the table height in relation to the chair dictates whether or not I will have elbows on the table, also, what I'm eating. Burger or pizza, ELBOWS!
BlankFrank23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would add that the hunched-over, elbows-on-the-table position is great for guarding your food; you sort of "box out" people who might be trying to steal something off your plate. (You see this stance in prison, for example.) I'm speculating, but perhaps more cultured tables didn't want to echo such vulgar behavior: "We're not the sort to tussle over the last dinner roll here at Castle Floppingdong, young squire; open your stance."
HodorFromHodor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that would be an interesting decoration to have in a kitchen. An old-looking rule list from the middle ages that contains a rule "do not steal the cutlery."
sillystephie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was told that it's not necessarily about your elbows, it's mostly that you shouldn't "shovel food into your mouth and the only way to shovel is to have your elbows on the table.
SuperSheep3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Time Traveller's Guide to Medieval England? If you haven't read it, it tells you all sorts about this type of stuff. Things you don't get in a history book. Also has an interesting clothing chart which shows what you could and couldn't wear based on reputation and social status. Pick it up :) Or if you're in England, send me your address and I'll mail it over to you :) Sounds like you'd enjoy it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Already read it ;) I'm quite the history nerd when it comes to the Medieval age
BitchesQuoteMarilyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wiping one's nose on the table cloth? These people clearly did not have jalapenos in their lives.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was told it was because there were always so many people at those tables with numerous utensils so it was basically impossible for anyone to physically put their elbows on the table without hitting stuff.
Chicagoiscool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I like the navy story better.
StevetheLeg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:42:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always heard it was for practical reasons.
You're more likely to knock things over with you're elbow
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:20:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As with most things about historical etiquette it's all speculation. I like that one though "No elbows on the table, you'll break shit".
Phoenixster ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it highly creepy when I return from the ladies room and my napkin is re-folded and set on the table. It's like 'Sleeping With The Enemy'.
graykid3 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:44:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is untrue.
"It certainly arises from a long history beginning in the late middle ages when we started to internalize lots and lots of codes about how to hold our bodies," said Charlotte.
Yes, she said we're following rules from the middle ages!
"Shame and embarrassment sort of emerged in that time and a much more impulsive culture became much more self-contained and self-controlled and self-conscious and a lot of the manners in our culture emerged from this time period," said Charlotte.
They were also battling disease and it was important to show you were healthy.
"So, by not leaning on our elbows one of the most important things that we communicate is that we're strong enough to hold our bodies erect and that we're healthy enough to have proper carriage and that we understand the rules of comportment and have enough self-control and self-possession to maintain that kind of posture at the table," said Charlotte.
And Charlotte says that even though we're a long way from the middle ages, the rules still play a social role today.
"If you put your elbows on the table you can lean from one side to the other and take up more space than is acceptable," said Charlotte.
Charlotte says manners help us communicate what we feel about ourselves and how we fit in the broader social order. "It's still very important in our culture to communicate self-control, willpower and restraint," said Charlotte. We are how we eat not just what we eat!
And even though things have relaxed, Emily Post says the only time you can put your elbows on the table is when you're at home and sick.
"This might be a fine point, but doing this seems a whole lot different from resting one elbow on the table for example...are there shades of gray?" said Charlotte. "Well,some etiquette writers suggest that if you have so mastered the form of self-possession -- if you have so convinced people around you that you are so convinced and self-controlled you might delicately rest your elbow on the table."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:59:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does shit like that stay the same for all those years
domoarigatodrloboto ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:03:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He probably made it up, or heard it from someone who made it up.
There's a chance it's true, of course, but most of those "this originiated from a Chinese brothel in the Han Dynasty!" stories are usually full of shit.
djn808 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because sailing was integral to society for like 1000 years, probably
klitchell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:06:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it was because farmhands would wash there hands but not all the way up to the elbow. The elbows would still be really dirty, so rather than muck up the dinner table with dirt it became a thing to not put elbows on the table.
silverhydra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, this is the one I heard as well. Doesn't really matter too much though since they both end up being "people with dirty elbows kept putting that shit on the table near food and, since then, elbows are assumed to be dirty and not to be put by food" or some variant.
hulagirl4737 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't make any sense at all. How would you eat while holding a plate still with your elbows?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yvan Eht Nioj.
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I highly recommend it!
LetItByrne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, I always thought it was more of a primal/territorial thing, like you are trying to protect your food by keeping your elbows on the table from the others around you, thus looking like an animal by doing so and not proper
Hypermeme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing how old practices become so ingrained into society. If you ask anyone why putting elbows on the table is rude they will just say "because it is." Like some sort of stupid mantra people chant to justify their unjustifiable behavior.
pyroSeven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft, as a former Navy sailor, I'm gonna start putting my elbows on the table out of spite.
Don't tell a sailor what to do!
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noted in the duty log book! 2339 /u/pyroSeven decides to put elbows on the table out of spite because you "don't tell a sailor what to do!" Enjoy your freedom and put your elbows wherever you please!
HeyZeusChrist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Heard this on NPR last week.
woopledoer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about sailors to dispute it.
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's all you need to know...
We like booze, boobs, and bragging about who's saltier!
amazingmanderrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just learned my random fact of the day. Thanks!
Darklyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always assumed it was a brutish defensive position to protect your kill from the other predators.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it literally serves no modern purpose.
BlockedFall6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that it was because back when slaves were common, when they had a chance to eat, they would rest their elbows on the table.
laurier112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was because during the middle ages, only the very rich could afford to have tables large enough to put elbows on.
Jesst3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard almost exactly this, except one difference. During the time period when Shanghaiing was commonplace, putting your elbows on the table was a sign that a guy was a sailor and therefore a better candidate for kidnapping.
CopyRogueLeader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, when you're advertising your nautical skill in public via elbows on the table, you increase your likelihood of getting Shanghaied- bludgeoned unconscious to awake finding yourself on a boat to China to serve as free labor.
DB2V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whew, I was a dirt/sand sailor so my nautical skills are sorely lacking hopefully they'll leave me alone!
CopyRogueLeader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry if it wasn't clear that this isn't a modern phenomenon, but something we might have worried about 150+ years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it was because ye olde tables didn't have the top connected to the legs and so in putting elbows on the table it would be upturned. Hence, rude. Don't know how much truth there is to that though?
MuckingFagical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I Heard this was just to prevent glasses and such being knocked from the table when meal time was more cramped.
deathputt4birdie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that its related to sailors but had a darker meaning: In the past it was common for young boys to be impressed into service (read kidnapped and forced into indentured servitude). The press gangs would target their victims based on signs of seaworthiness: usage of coarse/foul language, elbows on the table etc. So mothers would admonish their children for poor table manners with the threat that a press gang would mistaken them for a sailor and carry them away to sea!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was from farmers that worked hard in the fields. They would come home with their elbows covered in dirt. They showed their manners by not putting their elbows on their tables, so that they wouldn't cover it in dirt.
Humbabwe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what I heardโฆ Maybe that's part of it, but when people used to eat dinner or a meal together, it would be a big board laying across everyone's lap instead of on table legs, hence the term "room and board". It was rude to have your elbows on the table because other people couldn't lift the board to get up from the table.
Source: "At Home" by Bill Bryson. (Great book btw)
Tipnipdip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if that's true or not but I'm going to believe it is.
odansteron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, don't put your cover on the table
pazur13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is going to be an /r/TodayIBullshitted post.
KronktheKronk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard in the 1800s ships captains in California (and prolly other places) who were doing trade routes to Shanghai would resort to kidnapping sailors because the working conditions were so poor and the trip so long. One of the ways these captains would look for sailors would be to find people who put their elbows on the table like you described.
Since no one wanted to wake up on a ship half way to China, they tried to avoid putting their elbows on the table in ports. Eventually it became a scary story you told kids to keep them from doing it, and it got absorbed into etiquette.
Fredbonber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Additionally, when the press gangs came into pubs looking for men, often times they would look for the sailors (with their elbows on the table) because men with sailing experience were more useful. So, by keeping one's elbows off the table, one was less likely to be pressed into service.
Smugjester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to believe
deputymeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks I didn't know that. I was just taught as a kid to keep my elbows off the table, so I wouldn't take up too much table space. Big family dinners, 1 table...
cmd242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I ain't no damn sailor.
carottus_maximus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People do it because it's a lot more comfortable.
GoodAtExplaining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
However, this is not entirely correct. The Committee to Attribute a Naval Origin to Everything (CANOE), tends to do the same with the infamous "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" (Has nothing to do with ships).
The actual explanation in this case is much less prosaic.
The term arose in 18th-century England, when textiles were extremely expensive. Keeping one's elbows on the table invited stains from grease and other foodstuffs onto one's clothes, which made them hard to clean or may have ruined them outright.
Thus, keeping one's elbows on the table was considered a faux-pas in polite society.
Generally speaking, naval forces at the time would not have spent extra weight and money carrying plates and cutlery as, in the case of sudden attack, they would contribute to mess and possibly become hazardous on deck.
RustyBrownsRingDonut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is false. Think about it practically, why would you hold your plate with 2 elbows rather than just grip the side of your plate with your free hand?
fuzzydice_82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i always heard that this was because farmers had sometimes dirty elbows from working, and they would wash only their hands.. but the sailor variant sounds plausible..
84m81n0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This rule probably started way back in medieval times, during the famous feasts. Imagine a big old medieval feast given by a ruler or lord. Everybody and their mother wants to go to it, and boast about how they dined with such and such. Most of these feasts would have been served on long tables with benches instead of seats. People would pack in like sardines and there simply was no room to have your elbows on the table without jostling your neighbor and disrupting his ability to eat. Allowing your elbows to nudge the guy next to you and hit his arm while he's bringing some food to his mouth would be obviously rude. As well, such accidents could cause quarrels, or even violence to break out.
Even today, if you go out to dinner with more than a couple of people, having your elbows on the table could cause a fork mishap, knock over glasses, pull the tablecloth (which would also knock over things), and get in the way of the server placing dishes on the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it started just after the invention of the table as a way to hold your body in a sensible and comfortable position while eating
petercockroach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can take this history lesson a bit further. In San Francisco ship crews were abandoning in favour of the Gold Rush so there was a huge shortage of skilled labour on a ship.
In order to staff their ships with skilled workers, captains would often go to pubs and look for men who ate with elbows on the table (indicating they had ship experience). They would get them drunk and kidnap them (referred to as crimping). By the time they woke up, they'd be half way to Shanghai (hence the term being Shanghaied).
Reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanghaiing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard a different story.
Tables were often made with a large single centre leg. Putting elbows on the table would cause the table to lean one way or the other, causing food to fly off.
Yours sounds more plausible as single legged tables aren't overly common (though my dinner set at home is single legged).
not_ryo_hazuki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know where I might find these "people who put their elbows on the table"?
LoveCommittinSins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bull shit. It's because it wears out the elbows of nice long sleeve shirts. If you own nice shirts, you keep your elbows off the table. Elbows on the table mean you broke
CAT_WILL_MEOW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The story I heard is that miners had sutt and crud on them constantly and was had to wash it off. So they wouldn't put there elbows on the table so it wouldn't messy the table. I'm from Pittsburgh it use to be one of the most mined cities in the U.S.
DEEEPFREEZE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can see this explaining where the no elbows on the table rule stems from, but this doesn't necessarily explain the origin of eating with your elbows on the table. I frequently eat with my elbows on the table and have never had a meal on a boat.
Stop_Wastin_Time ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've also heard that it was because tables were smaller and there would not have been enough space for all of the plates.
cefriano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. I always thought that it was because putting your elbows on the table forces you into an "uncouth" posture, where you're bent over your plate shoveling food into your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a sailor and I always put my elbows on the table, so I don't believe this.
Calvins8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, thanks for sharing! I was always told that it was rude because it looked like you were guarding your food. I like your explanation more.
Empanah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It originally started hundred years ago. Poor people would only wash their bodies from hands to elbows so putting the dirty elbows on the table was considered bad
soprodoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was because farmers would come in dirty as fuck and so they would keep there nasty ass arms off the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude ships still experience rough seas and plates still slide all over the place. I have yet to see any one use their elbows for control of these things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well motherfucker you got my upvote! Not even gonna fact check you on that one.
Rediscombobulation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i think there is a similar reason with why the knife is pointed towards the place... because Vikings get stabby sometimes
strangrdangr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also said that the British Navy would "recruit" sailors during the Revolutionary War by going in to bars and finding men with their elbows on the tables.
mslack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, no. There's this story, then there's the idea that sailors would keep their elbows off the table due to having less room on a table. Either way, it sounds silly and urban legend-y.
MidwestMunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worked as a deckhand on the Mississippi river for a summer. Gonna put my elbows on the table every chance I get. I've earned it.
hugababoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So no one should give half a fuck today then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is complete bull-shit http://www.culinarylore.com/food-history:no-elbows-on-the-table
amedeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I'm hearing is that fancy restaurants discriminate against sailors, and Twitter needs to campaign against this injustice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's a good thing we still live in the 1800s then.
senorrawr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The other theory I've heard, and the one that makes the most sense to me, is that its simply a matter of space. When you're eating at a crowded table it just makes it worse when your neighbor has their elbows in your food. Of course if there's plenty of room at the table nobody cares, but when table real estate is scarce, its annoying to have people shoving elbows at you.
HarmsWay88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that mothers would tell their children this because elbows on the table would indicate that you had been to sea and thus would become a target for sailors looking to Shanghai new recruits.
RedRoronoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL..
isthisfunforyou719 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, Thanks.
AmethystRosette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a remnant of when tables were much smaller for the average family, and wanting to imitate royalty- If you were putting your elbows on the table, it meant you were intruding on the space of other people to do so. There just wasn't a lot of room. That, paired with wanting to imitate royalty (Who do it for sailor-association reasons), means it became rude for the bourgeois, which means it eventually trickled down all through society.
TheEquivocator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is very unlikely. It reads like typical folk etymology (well, not etymology in this case, but the same sort of thing: people inventing reasons for how something came to be).
soawhileago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my husband is a commercial fisherman. We were on a dinner date and his food came. He wrapped his elbow and forearm around the plate and all I could see was the top of his head as he shoveled food into his face at alarming speeds. I actually had to ask him to look at me.
He took a deep breath, sat up straighter, and apologized.
MeepleTugger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sailors have a lot of time to make things like this up. They think every word and tradition has a nautical origin.
I'm guessing it came from the Victorian obsession with manners. As the middle class grew and became wealthy, it became important for the upper class to be able to tell who was "really" classy and who just had money. Meanwhile, everybody wanted to pretend to be higher class than they were.
This made etiquette books big money, and they started just pumping out rules: like Cosmo sex tips, they didn't have to actually work, just needed to sound good. I've read that "you should always scoop your soup away from you, shovelling it towards yourself is greedy." Bullshit, no way anyone of any class eats away from themselves: it's messy, and it looks like you find the food disgusting.
Elbows on the table is probably another one of those: only important to those who want to imitate class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually not true. It originated from kings wanting people at the dinner table to keep their arms and hands where they could be seen so not weapons could be hidden. The king didn't want to be stabbed underneath the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it might have something to do with people having dirty elbows and not wanting that on the table.
Elbows on the table just look rude and untame to those around you if you are using utensils. If you are eating a sandwhich or burger however then elbows help. I guess I only see it this way because I would get my elbows slapped as a kid if they were on the table and I grew up seeing elbows on the table as rude.
metalwala95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See when I was in school they taught us that this rule came from the Middle Ages. Basically assassins had daggers up their sleeves and would hide them by keeping their elbows on the table while they ate. So a lot of kingdoms forbid this etiquette of eating.
Jimbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not just this, but if you were seen dining like this, you might be pressed into naval service by the government or others looking for experienced sailors.
Ninja_Fox_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I see this its a different story
electromage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's that sailors and farmers are very practical people.
drgmonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
About the "royalty not wanting concealed daggers" part... In my family it was always rude to keep your hands under the table, and we had to always keep our wrists up. I'm pretty sure I'm descended from Mafia or something though
helpful_hank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's oarsome.
totallytopanga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whoa i never knew!
bloodblades24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:07 on December 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now, elbows on the table are irrelevant! Unless you're a pirate, of course.
_Roy_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:12:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL
burnSMACKER ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:11:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was expecting tree fiddy at the end
ButtFuzzNow ยท 240 points ยท Posted at 15:04:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have heard two explanations of why this is considered poor table manners. First is that pirates at sea would eat with their elbows on the table on order to keep their food in place while the ship rocked. This would carry over whenever they were eating on land. The general debauchery that takes place amongst pirates led to common people disliking anything pirates do. So if you have the table manners of a pirate, then you are unworthy of eating amongst gentlemen. The other explanation I have heard was that many people grew up poor and never had a large table to eat at. Keeping elbows off the table allows more room for everyone so it is considered being polite to your fellow eaters. I haven't looked into either of these claims so they may be b.s, but I like to believe the pirate one is true.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:43:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why specify pirates? This would've been the same for any naval worker - merchants sailors and naval soldiers too.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:59:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because Pirates are awesome.
packymccracken ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:51:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So elbows on the table == looking like a pirate? Consider my elbows planted!
deadhead94 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also, rum.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was because people's elbows was often dirty so you wanna keep them off your table cloth. And today people's elbows tend to be clean so it's not a problem anymore do it as much as you like.
nunsinnikes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard it's just to keep your arms out of other people's eating space.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom grew up with 12 brothers and sisters, very much this ^
AkemiDawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The second explanation sounds much more plausible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe most people are secretly pirates... who knows?
dbelle92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have heard two explanations of why this is considered poor table manners. First is that astronauts in space would eat with their elbows on the table on order to keep their food in place when there was no gravity. This would carry over whenever they were eating on Earth. The general debauchery that takes place amongst astronauts led to common people disliking anything astronauts do. So if you have the table manners of a astronaut, then you are unworthy of eating amongst gentlemen. The other explanation I have heard was that many people grew up poor and never had a large table to eat at. Keeping elbows off the table allows more room for everyone so it is considered being polite to your fellow eaters. I haven't looked into either of these claims so they may be b.s, but I like to believe the astronaut one is true.
Boomsian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you learn this working at the old pirate navy?
BestEditionEvar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it was working at the pirate Old Navy. More eyepatches, fewer khakis.
chefxen9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pirates, navy, same thing.
Tacticalgator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing about that is that one would think that all sailors would develop this habit, not just pirates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it was because men who toiled in the field or coal mines would come in for lunch and only wash their hands and lower arm, not their elbows. Then their elbows would mark the table cloth. So elbows off the table!
MattTheFlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arrrrrrr! Ye got it all wrong, ye had best be keepin them falseities to ye'self lest ye be keel-hauled! It's because we called them "elsterns" an' 'er majesty's navy called 'em elbows like a bunch o' land lubbers!
invisible_23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the pirate one is cooler
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 14:46:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:00:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dont worry it never happened.
jt663 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:30:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was probably more like
'Sir please can you take your elbows, it's against our rules'
'okay'
THIS IS GOING ON FUCKING REDDIT
Sisters_of_Merci ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:26:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I wouldn't even believe that one.
WiretapStudios ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He defiantly kept his elbows on the table. "No" he said, quietly, but firmly. Slowly, one by one, the other patrons stood and began clapping. The waiter began to apologize profusely, and OP received a free meal. This is $101 percent true and they now hang OP's picture on the wall, as well as re-named the restaurant after him.
killer8424 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:06:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. This never happened. I 100% guarantee this isn't enough to get kicked of any restaurant anywhere. If it happened while not wearing a shirt maybe that would be enough.
kryptobs2000 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was staying at a rather nice hotel in Bermuda on vacation with the folks. At the time I was maybe 10, perhaps not even, fairly young. My parents were dressed nice and I think I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt or something at worst and my father had to argue with the hotel restaurant host to let us in as he refused us because I was not dressed well enough. This was also kind of early and they were not even busy fwiw.
mattdemanche ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:45:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dress codes are dress codes, if you dont meet them, you shouldnt be there. Also not being allowed in and being kicked out are two different things.
kryptobs2000 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. Maybe there are behavior/etiquette codes though? You can't exactly judge someone prior to eating on that. It would be like me taking a blazer off to reveal a tshirt mid dinner.
killer8424 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in restaurants that required jackets. Once you're in they're not gonna kick you out. For arguments sake if it's the kind of restaurant to kick someone out for putting elbows on the table they're much better off dealing with it and collecting the $100+ per head and letting them do it. Which is what they do.
intherorrim ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By whom?, if the restaurant was that fancy.
Batmanfries ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:32:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's normal procedure if you don't follow the proper etiquette in really upscale restaurants (talking 200โฌ+ for a meal), you can get kicked / banned really quickly.
An acquaintance of my father got banned for eating something off the plate of his wife he wanted to try.
unclepaisan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:12:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are using euros, so I assume you are speaking about Europe. In the United States. this is absolutely not true. No upscale restaurant would ever threaten to remove you because you had your elbows on the table/etc.
edit: actually, I just don't believe this. Maybe an oddball chef might throw a fit, but at actual elite restaurants would not do this.
Pufflekun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just makes no sense. There's absolutely no reason to ever do this. If they want to enforce formal table manners to placate their more pretentious clientele, they can easily do that with a "sir, please keep your elbows off of the table."
unclepaisan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:56:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it would have to be pretty egregious for a server to say something. It would have to bother more people than they risk offending by making the request. Tips at elite restaurants can be $100+, any server good enough to get in the gig knows enough to keep his mouth shut about my elbows if I'm dropping $500 on a meal.
The host may not let you in without a dinner jacket or something like that, but once you sit down you will almost certainly be well attended.
Pufflekun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, true. It makes no sense to even do what I said. But it makes a hell of a lot less sense to threaten to ban someone who may otherwise tip you over a hundred.
Batmanfries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting to know, might be a cultural thing.
Can't stop you from not believing my story though. Just to add, nobody threw a fit or something, they were just asked calmly by the server to leave after their meal and to not come back to the restaurant again.
unclepaisan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe your story, but I think it more likely to be the antics of an eccentric and tightly wound chef/host rather than an official policy at say, a Michelin star restaurant.
two ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would imagine it's one of those places where the only things that are upscale are the prices. There's just no way this happens at a Michelin starred restaurant.
kryptobs2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I could also see them not liking the guy for w/e reason (not saying it was his fault) and so they found a reason to kick him out/insult him. That seems like an upscale snobby type of passive aggressive tactic you know?
norsethunders ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:48:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck, really?!? Guess that's another reason to add to the list of why I'll never go to the extremely fancy restaurants!
Sisters_of_Merci ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, not really.
Hugh_Jampton ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:52:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it that when material and clothes were hard to come by, resting elbows (clothed) on the table would wear the material out quicker.
Parents started telling children to keep elbows off tables at dinner time to prevent the wear and tear
SuchCoolBrandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that keeping elbows off the table was to prevent you from getting food on your sleeves.
Zahilin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:07:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go to extremely fancy restaurants and do this with no issue.
tughdffvdlfhegl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. They're not going to give up my โฌ120 at the end of the night because I want to relax and be a bit informal.
teapot112 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:01:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? Thats ridiculous. Whats the name of that restaurant? Name and shame time...
TheKandyCinema ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:05:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a restaurant called Japanese Village near my area.
It's a Hibachi style restaurant where they make the food in front of you. The chef didn't like how we had our elbows on the table and got mad.
tughdffvdlfhegl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:27:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So not even a really nice restaurant. That's just a strange chef, or a safety rule because he's flinging stuff around.
Pufflekun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a strange chef. (If elbows on the table are unsafe, then that hibachi table is too unsafe to use in a restaurant.)
panther_heaven ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:31:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Hibachi counts as "fancy".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese culture revolves around respect though. It probably had more to do with you being a guest and not being polite.
Pufflekun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like a ramen shop in America getting mad because you're not audibly slurping your noodles (which you're supposed to do in Japan).
samtrano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He just didn't want you to burn your elbows
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:50:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow what restaurant? It's hard to imagine restaurant staff being that rude to a guest.
straydog1980 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:46:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the shit?
Zewstain ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:08:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was also naked.
unnoved ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You serious?
OutstandinglyNormal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that it was a practice that started in the Victorian/Industrial eras, where the vast majority of working class men held down 'dirty' jobs, and every street and building used to be covered in soot and shit. Men would come home from the mine or wherever caked in grime, and so the wives would tell them to keep their elbows off the table to keep the food and cutlery clean.
KennyGaming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um how did the restaurant approach you with this one? There has to be more so that you "almost got kicked out".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What an incredible restaurant to duck out on the bill in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know it was a problem.
fpssledge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard someplace it's because centuries before us good hygiene wasn't as common as today so they'd keep their arms down by their sides as much as possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always thought it was rude for when you're sharing the table with someone or eating right next to someone because it takes up a lot of space.
ManBehavingBadly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're shitting me? How?
TheKandyCinema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've kind of explained it a bit in an reply to one of the people asking where it was.
It was at a hibachi style restaurant and they figured that their place was really fancy. The moment I put my elbows on the table because I was tired, the chef got really mad and started speaking Japanese to his manager. We honestly just assumed that it was along the lines of "Can we kick this guy out?" because he was pointing at me during the conversation a lot.
Let's just say I'm happy he didn't poison me or anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What restaurant would kick someone out, or even complain, about elbows on tables?
HungInHawaii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What restaurant? Just curious I've eaten at some shway places and they never said anything to me. But I do live in the US...
aab720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tf restaurant was this?
rharrison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No they didn't.
scottishaggis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because it excludes people from the conversation, you put your right elbow on the table and the person to your right is blocked out by your arm and shoulder. They then have to lean far forward blocking out the person the right of them
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
story?
bardhoiledegg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that elbow on table is acceptable before and after the meal. And leaning forward to show interest in the conversation can even be considered polite.
But during the meal, when utensils are in use it is rude to take up more table space with you elbows and can give off the impression of protecting or hunching over your food. Too much interest in the food instead of the company you are with can be seen as rude and unrefined.
goldishblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they can stink
RomeNeverFell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit or you probably did something else.
MrKjeksy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the old days it was considered "bad" if one had enough room on a dinner table for their elbows instead of there being food.
Old wives tale, as far as i know it hasn't been set in stone by anyone so take it with a grain of salt. I'm part french so it probably stems from there and applied to the so coveted "upper class".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really?
Jov_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a restaurant in a "wife beater" once when I was younger, and got a free tee shirt!
LackingTact19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was literally just an askreddit post about this. Basically having your elbows on the table is associated with you defending your food to stop it from being stolen which is viewed as you not trusting the people your with, which is seen as rude if it's a polite setting
plipyplop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The elbows weren't the issue, it was the lack of pants and underwear that they were concerned about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wat? Every fancy restaurant I've been to doesn't give a damn what you do. Is this some pretentious sorta place? I went to a 5 star french restaurant and another party had a guy in a Hawaiian shirt...
coolkid1717 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old were you. I can't imagine someone saying that to an adult.
What exactly did they say to you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been told that it was an insult because it's showing that there's enough room on the table to put your elbows, so there's not enough food/hospitality.
Personally I think it's a load of shit. I'll put my elbows wherever the fuck I want.
Dracekidjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you put your balls on the table and yell "Are my elbows acceptable now!?"
RanaktheGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It takes up so much room, so at places where room is hard to come by, taking up space with the wings of glory is a dick move.
marcm6246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's the most comfortable way to sit at the table when having a meal, so they have to remove it to make the meal as uncomfortable as possible. Don't you see??
Damasticator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which restaurant?
MisanthropeX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was at Colonial Williamsburg or (or maybe it was Jamestown) as a kid one of the tour guides told us that many "tables" in the 17th century or so were basically planks of wood balanced precariously on sawhorses. Putting your weight on one end of the table with your elbows would knock it over and fuck up the meal.
CodeJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People that do that hold their food up in the air. You're not supposed to keep it held at your face hight. You don't realise it, but if you look at someone doing that in a resturant, they look sloppy as fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, you didn't
drakfyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would've never known it even was a social issue if it wasn't for a pizza hut commercial. I've never been told to take my elbows off the table and evidently have never been at a fancy enough restaurant for it to matter.
br3or ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard it's because most higher class people would be served their meals and it would be rude to have your arms in the way of someone trying to serve you your plate.
Faisso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard or knowing about this elbow job thing. That's how fancy I am.
newtothelyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with putting your elbows on the table, it's using it as a fulcrum to shovel food into your mouth that is gross
rednibia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that being strong enough to sit upright was a way to show you were not infected with the plague.
kuavi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was because you are increasing the space you take up at the table, possibly making others more packed to make room for you.
TheFadedBull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call bullshit. I've ate at numerous 3 star restaurants and always put my elbows on the tables, get drunk and loud and never once came close to being kicked out. Please name this restaurant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That must have been so fancy
TheMonarK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one is going to see this, but there is also a different theory. In many households, tables would be smaller and with large families trying to fit in it, putting your elbows on it would create less space, thus resulting in a rude gesture
Thyrsus24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was a bad fancy restaurant then... A high end restaurants goal for service is to be available but not intrusive, to anticipate the customers needs, and to make the whole experience comfortable and enjoyable for the diner. Provided you meet any dress code they may have, and don't disturb the other diners, your table manners are none of their business.
Venicedreaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which restaurant threaten to kick you out?
musitard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be seen as a sign of aggression.
jsp1205 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know it was socially unacceptable... :(
Lawrence308 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It crowds the table. Doesn't make sense when it's just you and someone else
Harbltron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't want to give my money to the snobby fucks that would care about that, no matter how good the food is.
winter_mutant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so fancy restaurants actually enforce those bullshit rules? I just thought the people sitting with you would judge you and the restaurant wouldn't care.
the_mighty_moon_worm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus people, you've all got it wrong. It's not about offending the host or being associated with the Navy.
If you're sitting really close to someone (like in, say, a banquet hall) and you put your elbows on the table, you're all up in their shit. You'll probably push their plate around or accidentally set your elbow down on their fork. and even if there is room for one person to do that the person next to them probably won't also have the room, so we just made it a rule.
If you're arms are on the table people don't think you're a sailor, they just think you're a dick.
EchoJunior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming most of people posting here are Americans. You guys must have a hard time enjoying a nice food..
dorkmax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actual etiquette says its ok to do that when you're not eating, so they need to chill.
DrDigDown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been told that I sometimes eat like an ex-con. I'll have my elbows on the table, usually my left hand kinda wrapped around the plate to "protect" my food. But you would too if you had grown up in my house! Just kidding I grew up lower-middle class and there was plenty of Panburger Partner and Kool-Aid to go around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was an etiquette rule not observed by my immediate family, and therefore not taught to me as a young child. My first time flying down alone to visit my grandparents in the south I put my elbows on the table at dinner and was promptly stabbed in the elbow by my grandpa with his fork without warning. I don't know why I never looked up the origin of that rule, it never made sense to me. I asked my grandpa why, he just grumbled about it being rude and uncivilized, but never why it was considered so.
nova-chan64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOU DESERVE MY UPVOTE GOOD SIR!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Though it might have roots in history, I always saw it as a posture thing. You hunch when your elbows are on the table. Hunching is generally unsightly and in a fancy restaurant, manners are key.
Bigmac7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also eat using my right hand, I couldn't care less.
Lufernaal ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:33:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Savages!" - My grandmother.
BitchinIndika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Newfoundlander? Every newfie I've ever met uses "savage" to describe any perceived lack of politeness.
JamJarre ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 15:17:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
JOINTS ON THE TABLE WILL BE CARVED, RON
findingemotive ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:30:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Joints on my table will be rewarded by Rick & Morty with a bag of Doritos.
AbsintheEnema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll joint your table bud
thisismyjam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gooooooodbye moonman
Mar-SE ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:31:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it isn't physically bothering anyone, why not?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tradition. Keeping one's elbows off the table doesn't hurt anyone.
Pantzzzzless ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:20:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why get butthurt when someone doesn't follow your weird tradition?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck tradition.
StarbossTechnology ยท 592 points ยท Posted at 14:28:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I don't need to put my napkin in my lap either. I'm not a toddler.
thegreyhoundness ยท 1363 points ยท Posted at 15:47:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't put it on my lap because of social etiquette. I do it because I DO eat like a child and I don't like getting mustard on my pants...
reveille293 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:22:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then you wipe your face/hands and now you have mustard napkins on your lap!
thegreyhoundness ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:25:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a distinct possibility. What I really wish would come into vogue is giant, full body bibs for adults. I can't tell you how many shirts I've ruined with bacon grease or olive oil...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want a bib that says pobodies nerfect
thegreyhoundness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Nice.
reveille293 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yea that'd be pretty cool. Leaning over the table gets teh job done though.
thegreyhoundness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It does for some people. I eat like a maniac, so I have to protect my pants however I can.
Banter725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they're called aprons
PiffPower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:53:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you get a second napkin
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then its just, like, residual. Not globs of mustard falling off your chin onto your brand new white pants, staining them yellow, and forcing the said pants to spend the rest of their miserable life in the bottom of your dresser.
bubblesugarsocks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have So. Many. dresses that are ruined in the crotch area. Not from anything fun happening in the crotch area, but because I dropped food in my lap. Especially french fries. It will forever look like you have a wet spot in the front, when really, a year ago, you dropped a fry in your lap.
TheHYPO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:23:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Without exception, any napkin that starts on my lap will end up on the floor when I completely forget that I had a napkin on my lap.
thegreyhoundness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same issue a lot of the time too. Life is hard, man.
dyslexicbunny ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:44:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Greetings, fellow mustard pants!
thegreyhoundness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle is real.
BrownShadow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea this was a thing. I though it was just to keep your nasty mouth wiper off the surface where everyone's food is. My napkin is usually on my lap wadded into a ball or twisted up like a rope.
thegreyhoundness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's where the social convention came from. I just have to do what I can to keep from having to buy new pants all the time.
PenIslandTours ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure you leave it on your seat when you stand up. Proper etiquette...
alter-eagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That, and having put a napkin on my lap all my life, I now have a habit of wiping my hands on my lap. So if there's no napkin there, my pants are the napkin now.
flukus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat like a child too, the solution is to simply sit closer to the table so it catches any spillage!
IAmGoingToFuckThat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I put my napkin in my lap and keep one next to the right side of my plate. I just don't like having messy hands.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm notorious for not giving a shit what gets on my clothes. In other words, don't give me hot Cheetos.
gladvillain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/SAukerman, is that you?
zeedeevel66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But, what if you had a mustard drenched cucumber tied to your pants, and you did not want to get your pants dirty?
KellyTheET ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This saved me just today from looking like I peed myself, when I had a sip of water and some missed my mouth.
fuqd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it because I instinctively will wipe my greasy food-covered hands on my pants and its best to put a napkin barrier between my hand and leg.
caponesmom ยท 274 points ยท Posted at 15:21:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught it's good etiquette because "nobody wants to see your dirty napkin on the table". I was raised to do so, so out of habit, it's in my lap every meal. But I don't notice if anyone else does it.
kenba2099 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:27:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also use it as a sign of "no more, I'm done eating."
Lyeta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's such a habit for me that when I read the comment on it, I truthfully didn't even register it as something one does or does not do. It just happens. Sit down at restaurant/meal with napkins. Napkin goes on lap. Done. Immediate, pavlovian.
SmokiestElfo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, a matter of space availability. If you got your napkin in the table, your glass of water, your preferred drink for the evening, your cutlery and probably your bread, you got no room for the napkin.. Put your dirty napkin on your lap.
hdfb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or hey, get a bigger dining table!
TheKandyCinema ยท 451 points ยท Posted at 14:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only reason why I put my napkin on my lap is because most tables are crowded so it's the only place for room.
Otherwise, I don't really give a fuck where it goes
Seba553 ยท 634 points ยท Posted at 14:59:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually put it up my ass.
SuperHotFyer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:17:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
two kinds of people
hijackedanorak ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:13:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When? During the meal? After?
Seba553 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:21:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before.
geeky_username ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:10:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As is tradition
MrBrutusChubbs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:21:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The keistering technique. Classy, and practical.
BurningPickle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's this thing called toilet paper, you know. It exists so you don't have to use napkins.
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm tempted to bring a napkin with to the bathroom for the reaction later.
Heymancheckmyfresh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:19:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The mental image of someone casually doing this at a restaurant made me laugh way harder than I should have.
medusamadonna ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ass-Napkin Ed?
Mom-spaghetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually put it up your ass too
markwarren_18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You usually come out my ass, all mighty spaghetti
Mom-spaghetti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'll cum in your ass this time
darkwing_duck_87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course. Because after a big messy meal you gotta wipe off. Introretrogestion is great, don't get me wrong, but you gotta wipe your anus just like you would your mouth.
_vOv_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard of bidet?
benshiffman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pull it out SLOWLY
Dizthelasthope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a shitty place to put it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Brown napkins, how modern!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a magician?
nonprehension ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, see, that there is actually very rude...
CharaFallsLikeATree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhh the good ole manpon
SushiStalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for actually posting an honest answer in this thread. You... Are my hero.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you sir are invited to dinner at mine ANYTIME!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tuck my into my collar like a bib.
Timmyc62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roll it back up and tuck it under the plate's overhang.
Sharkfightxl ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 15:53:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not to prevent dropping food on your lap. It's so your dirty napkin isn't taking up table space and looking messy.
StarbossTechnology ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:31:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My napkin doesn't get dirty unless I'm eating something like wings, in which I'm going to need a lot more than one napkin and I sure as hell ain't keeping them all in my lap.
Sharkfightxl ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:16:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assumed we are talking cloth napkins. If you're at whatever place eating wings, all bets are off.
TonySoprano420 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right. If they're using paper napkins it's a totally different issue.
kangareagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, but Miss Manners says to put your napkin on your lap when you get your drink BEFORE your meal comes.
BuntRuntCunt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:37:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of these days you are going to drop a meatball right on your khakis and regret that...
StarbossTechnology ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't eat my chef boyardee in khakis, thank you very much.
Ipanman92 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:27:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't put a napkin on my lap when I eat. You know why? 'Cause I believe in myself.
-Hannibal Buress
lvlamasan42 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:58:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never really got the napkin thing either because if food spills it wouldn't even make it to the napkin on my lap because boobs.
Gnusern ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:13:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Humblebrag~
Tropink ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:31:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless he's a man.
Gnusern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
even more humble humblebrag... i guess?
plsstopdoingthat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same for the very pregnant! Except belly not boobs.
sheep_puncher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case you have to boob bib the napkin to protect drippage.
Grimfelion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or didn't happen... ๐
Sobertese ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe you.
The_dog_says ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never mess up my pants, it's always the shirt. Apparently it's bad etiquette to wear a napkin over your shirt.
It's all old bullshit handed down by ancient aristocrats.
joelomite11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:45:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I put it under my pillow, it's a napkin, not a lapkin.
troxnor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:08:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not there to catch food, it's there to use without drawing attention it. I'm a super sloppy eater when it's hand food like Burgers or Tacos. I do this because looking at someone's dirty napkin near your food is gross
amazingmanderrr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:00:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do mostly because I never dropped that "wipe hands on pants" habit when I was a kid. -_- I'm awful at adulting.
LemonZips ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I used to wipe my greasy paws on my jeans. Now I put a napkin on my thigh, didn't have to break my bad habit and still have clean pants.
I think we win at adulting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
amazingmanderrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:04 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've done it a couple times. But it just reminds me to at least put one next to my leg to use.
PhoenixReborn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up with napkin thieving dogs so it always stays on the table.
BananaPuddings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can be annoying at times, but when I was younger I had the habit of wiping my hands on my pants. This annoying napkin thing allows me to continue.
valeyard89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
napkin in your lap, and you clap, clap, clap
FUCK__PLASTIK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if someone drops something on you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always used it to prevent food from falling and messing my pants. Always thought that's what most people did.
DownvoteCommaSplices ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just what a toddler in disguise would say
hansgrubermustdie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe in my ability to get food from plate to my mouth without dropping it on my pants because I'm a goddamn adult.
dakattack04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't need to put a napkin in my lap. You know why? Because I believe in myself -Hannibal
mablesyrup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's useless to put it on my lap, all the food lands in my cleavage anyway, it never makes it to my lap.
murrtrip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I learned manners in Germany where I was taught that you keep your napkin to the side of the plate. Now, when a waiter comes along and takes my napkin, unfolds it, and puts in my lap for me (weird), I immediately take it out and say, "no, thank you. I'd rather it be up here where I will use it."
Why is that a thing? Do people normally eat like Cookie Monster?
Ihateloops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I put my napkin in my lap so I can wipe my hands on it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I specifically put it on my lap so I can use it the way I used my pants as a kid: just wipe my hand on my leg.
Kalapuya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't put my napkin in my lap because I have faith in myself.
battle_of_panthatar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then take your dirty napkin off the table?
nf5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa would take his napkin and throw it on the floor after his wife (grandma) would tell us to put our napkins in our laps. His favorite thing to say was "Well we all know it's going to end up on the floor anyway"
miss you grandpa
madman19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it is useful if you happen to drop food on your lap. It will land on the napkin instead of your pants.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it because I don't want others to have to look at my dirty napkin on the table. As much for them as for me.
IndifferentFury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The texture of a paper napkin makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I can't stand it. Because of this, I always wiped my hands on my pants as a child. As I grew older and started to use cloth napkins, I placed them over my thigh to keep from wiping my hands on my pants.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You kind of sound like one though. It's not about your personal ability to keep crumbs off your lap, it's just the polite and clean thing to do. You don't have to make a personal attack out of it. Anyway, what do you do with your napkin, just leave it crumpled and strewn across the table?
StarbossTechnology ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:45:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I wanted to personally attack you I'd ask what kind of filthy hogger you are to need a napkin to clean your face and hands when you eat. Heard of silverware you knuckle dragger? Here, let me get you a trough.
prozacgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you spend $5000 on a suit, a 5$ napkin in your lap is appropriate....
I guess if you first reaction to a napkin is to put it in your lap, it sort of says "my other outfit is Armani" even if you're wearing wal-mart brand clothing.
iBleeedorange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, just lean over, weren't people taught that as kids?
BillyJoJive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You claim you're an adult, but this says otherwise.
Jretribe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont put a napkin in my lap when I eat. Ya know why??? Cuz I believe in myself! - Hannibal Burress
something_python ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:49:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get me a bib like a normal person!
Mcoov ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:18:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you're supposed to do is tuck the napkin into your shirt collar, just under the neck. This only works with cloth napkins.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you rally have that much of a problem with putting a cloth napkin on your lap? The elbows thing I understand but this is just silly. It's even more convenient and no one has to stare at your filthy cloth napkin lying on the table.
RedditRage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So where do you put it if your lap is beyond your toddler skills?
Pappy091 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:16:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your napkin isn't in your lap to catch food. It's there to not take up table space and keep your table mates from having to look at your dirty napkin that you are using to wipe your mouth with. It's beyond inane etiquette, it's common courtesy.
SlothPuppet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:21:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not there so you can catch whatever you might spill into your lap, it's so that you can spare other people from having to look at your dirty napkin.
Captain-Harry ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:44:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was to make conversation round a rectangle table easier. if people have their elbows on the table it can be hard to see past them at other people who you might want to listen/talk to.
Keyann ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I never knew this was even considered rude!
SlackJawCretin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:22:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before a trip to France, someone told me that it was preferable to have your arms on the table than hidden below the table, because hands under the table is considered rude there. I still don't know if that's true
byroot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is true, just forearms not elbows though. But hands under the table is way worse than elbows on the table.
I think it comes to the way the table is prepared. English style table is usually raw with table mats, while French style table is covered with tablecloth almost reaching the floor.
SlackJawCretin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I'd always assumed it had to do with what you could be doing out of sight rather than how the table was set. Thanks
byroot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TBH it's my own interpretation, many people says it was to prevent assassinations. But it seems sketchy to me, a dinner is probably the worst place and time to assassinate someone.
SlackJawCretin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was my assumption but I figured it was my American "cowboys playing poker and shooting under the table" showing
DooDooBrownz ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:36:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u taking up extra space that's why people care
classy_stegasaurus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:57:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How many people are sitting at this table that space is such an issue?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Italian so best believe there's like 30 of us eating lunch together every Sunday.
classy_stegasaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that must get exhausting. In my family, there's only that many of us if someone's dead. Irish funerals are always a hoot
Cryptofarm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone really want to piss off grandma?
SublimeWaffleStomp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know like two groups of people that care. Grandmas and lunch ladies at school
WASDMagician ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thinking back to my school days there's a pretty big overlap between those two groups.
SublimeWaffleStomp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That I very true
Fueledbymike ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk about this one. If your at a pretty roomy table and its really sturdy, yea go for it, but as someone who's siblings would do this all the time when we were kids and bump you because their elbows are further out, I'd say think of who's next to you. If the table isn't completely sturdy, most movements also move the table a bit which can be bothersome to others as well.
Like I said though, if the conditions are fine, it's fine.
mnh1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless of how it started, the rule persists because it's hard to deliver food to a table or to serve and pass dishes if someone is hunched over the table and blocking access.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:18 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ron_e, ron_e strong and able get your elbows off the table this is not a horses stable but a first class dining table
Round the outside you must go you must go you must go Round the outside you must go, you get going.
WinBotCity ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was called out on this while on a date, she was serious. That was our first and last date. HOW DO YOU EAT A BURRITO WITHOUT PUTTING YOUR ELBOWS ON THE TABLE? PLS.
HerrTony ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:38:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
with a fork and knife?
lady__of__machinery ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HERETIC!!! Burn himmm!!!
Crashmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's covered in something, maybe
XkF21WNJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you need a table to eat a burrito?
WinBotCity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Needed the table for the pitcher of margaritas.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally give a fuck. 1) It's generally regarded as poor manners to put your elbows on the table, so to do it shows a lack of regard for good manners. 2) It leads to slouching, leaning, and hunching over food which is lazy and unattractive.
Crashmo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:31:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's bad manners because it's bad manners."
pfffffffffft
minus1millionKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it bad manners?
saywhaaaat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm with you. If you're eating a slice of pizza with some friends it's one thing, but if you're out to dinner and you can't eat without both your elbows on the table, you're likely eating like a savage to begin with and I'm embarrassed both for and to be with you.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I won't eat with you, but I will call you out if I know you.
Phinster1965 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey - this is America - put your elbows on the table all you want. But bear in mind that you look like an unkempt savage. Class and dignity are voluntary, but not forbidden.
pteridoid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:47:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But who decided that that was classy? It's comfortable to put your elbows up and it doesn't hurt anyone or anything. It's like if somebody just decided that using arm rests on chairs is rude. There's no reason for it.
amazingmanderrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd cry myself to sleep every night if that happened.
Seelview ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as long as you're talking about your own elbows, it's fine
Plokooon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my dad does.
[deleted] ยท 2114 points ยท Posted at 17:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
loljetfuel ยท 906 points ยท Posted at 20:39:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that my employer doesn't call them sick days, they're "short-notice days off". They give as examples "it's too nice outside to work, I'm going to the beach" as well as "I don't feel well and I need some rest".
It's a great way to keep your workforce healthy, not just "not sick".
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 22:52:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
seiyria ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, no categories. Call it paid time off (PTO) and let me use it however I choose. Much, much easier.
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 02:03:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This really doesn't work if you get sick with the flu. You end up spending all your vacation for a year on being sick, and then get no time to yourself. It makes for really, really unhappy people.
wheresyourneck ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:15:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My job gives us PTO instead of sick time/vacation time. It means that I am able to use as much as I want on vacation, and as much as I need on being sick.
It's way more flexible and I don't feel like I have to lie about why I'm taking a day off. "I had a rough weekend and needed an extra day to recover" is just as valid as "I am literally puking my guts out" which is just as valid as "I have to go to the DMV today" etc. And if i get the flu for two weeks, I don't have to go unpaid when i run out of sick time, or go back to work before I'm well. And if I don't get sick at all, I can take an extra long vacation.
pink_portal_pony ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:15:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In germany sick time and vacation are seperated by law. Your employer is required to give you at least
2024 vacation days per year. And six weeks PTO if you are sick.Those PTO days aren't per year but per sickness. Meaning you get sick -> stay home until well again.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:18:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pink_portal_pony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they got another frame of mind. They aren't bound by any german laws if you are employed by a local subsidary
As I said it's six weeks for a single illness paid by the employer.
Hateborn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:33:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Many companies don't differentiate the country their employee is in when it comes to determining time off. For instance, I live in the US and work for a company based in Sweden - I get the same benefits as my colleagues across Atlantic. The only paid time off difference we have is observed holidays. We actually have fewer here in the US than they do at the HQ, so we are given "Floating Holiday" PTO that we get to schedule whenever we want. Not gonna lie, I love my job's benefit package, makes me want to avoid working for American companies ever again now that I've seen Euro-style benefits.
YxxzzY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but it is covered by the health insurance, your boss get's his money back, at least partially.
pink_portal_pony ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:13:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you're right. Your employer isn't expected to pay your sick leave all by himself.
YxxzzY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:29:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24 days/year is minimum (2 per month)
pink_portal_pony ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:18:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bad, you're right. I edited it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much PTO do you get? Geez. Every company I've talked to that has a combined PTO pool only gives about 10 days total.
wheresyourneck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:27:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
At my job it accrues based on how long you've worked there. As a relatively new employee I think I rack up like 5 hours PTO per pay period or something like that. Not sure what it comes out to per year.
But I feel like its about on par with jobs I've had with separate vacation/sick time, except I can use the time however I want instead of having to split it half and half.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:28:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's pretty generous for a US job -- 130 hours of PTO, which is just over 3 weeks.
wheresyourneck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember what the actual numbers are off the top of my head. It might be less than that, and probably is cause I don't think I get three weeks.
But for reference, I've been there since January and just got back from a trip where I took 8 work days off and I had enough PTO to cover 7 of them. So idk what that math is.
Pektraan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
130 hours is more like 5.5 days, not 3 weeks....
whmeh0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, except that a work day is 8 hours
crackedquads ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working days. You don't take a PTO day and get paid for 24 hours. You get paid for 8 hours.
fuckmyeyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a company (in a union) that had like 24 paid sick days per year or something pretty awesome. But if you called in sick more than 3 times, they sent you a nasty letter. They couldn't actually fire you for it (because of the union), but they made it pretty clear they were going to find another reason to fire you if you didn't stop taking sick time.
shea241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been at my job for a while, so I get 8 hours per pay period, or a little over 2 days per month (~2.12 days I think). They limit your accumulation to 350 hours though.
LoveYouLongThyme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My company gives you 5 days PTO after 1 year with the company. It's retarded.
YxxzzY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
24 days vacation/PTO by law
virtually unlimited by healthcare
shea241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do very much prefer this route.
mcpaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're sick for two weeks, you still have enough PTO to take a vacation? That's nice if your employer gives you a cushy PTO rate, but some of us don't. If you're sick for a week, there goes your planned vacation in 2 months, because you won't be able to earn it back in time.
Mred12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, seriously?
I get 28 days vacation a year. On top of that I get an unlimited-but-don't-take-the-piss amount of sick days (I think, by law, we get 20 days sick, but I'm nowhere near certain on that).
wheresyourneck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see where you guys are coming from on this. But my point is you don't get LESS time off if it's all in one pot. If you have five days of vacation time and five days of sick time then you can only be sick for five days before going unpaid or coming back to work AND you can only plan vacations of one week.
My PTO is the same amount, but can be used however I want. If I'm sick for two weeks, I can be paid for that and forgo my vacation OR I can use a few PTO days while sick and then have some sick days go unpaid and still go on vacation later. I have MORE options. I really don't understand what is bad about that.
It's not like segregating your time off magically gives you more of it.
dohrn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It still.is so weird for me that being sick takes away vacation time, just makes no sense for me.
seiyria ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:06:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So instead of having 15 PTO days, you'd rather have 10 vacation and 5 sick?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:21:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, I'd like to fix the system instead of arranging too little food on the plate and somehow pretend that by re-arranging it people have enough. You need about 10 days of sick pay about 15 of vacation to keep a healthy, happy workforce.
seiyria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree with you there, I think the low amount is bullshit. I was just using numbers to make a point.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. Well, regardless of amount, people are going to take ALL of it somehow. You need to have a system tho, for people who get really sick with one of those only-every-five-years flu so that doesn't annihilate their vacation. People that don't get time to play and enjoy the fruits of their labor resent laboring.
Dunk_13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue with Quantifying sick days like that is people feel like they are there to use up. When they should really just be used when ill.
You need a way to allow people time off for illness without making it seem like another form of vacation day to use.
vir_papyrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually pretty happy with my current place. It's pools of different categories, but I can simply cash out what would be traditional "sick time". It's a big pool of sick/whatever/personal and I generally don't ever need to use them. Ends up being a nice bonus paycheck most years. And most people just grab the extra paycheck. If you really wanted to, you could just blow them all before it rolls over to next year as another vacation.
Theres still a vacation pool which is longer and is planned, but I can't cash it out. Forces me to just take off a few weeks every year and chill at home even if I'm not doing anything.
FF3LockeZ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:10:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's different from a normal vacation how?
shinymangoes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even care if you don't pay me! Sometimes my sanity is worth more to me than a day's pay.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had days where I just can't go to work.
I hate my job enough as it is, and convincing myself to get out of bed in the morning everyday is already an ordeal.
I manage to do it for months at a time, but there are days where it just eats me at more than usual, and I would rather die than have to drag myself to work another day. Those are the days where I call in sick.
shinymangoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call it burnout. That's what vacation is for. But when you work part time with full time hours and get zero vacation pay, taking vacation is costly. It's misery. We need new jobs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
seiyria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, that would be nice, but I don't have that. I definitely wouldn't mind an unlimited policy for them but if I don't have that then I'd rather just roll them into one.
dankisms ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:29:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my place as long as you don't have anything urgent lined up (e.g. meeting with customer) and you aren't in trouble with manglement, you can just call in and say you're taking the day off and pick which of the leave type you're using up (sick vs vacation).
You're encouraged to apply earlier if it's a vacation but we understand shit sometimes happens so it's not a strict rule and unless you're in bad odor with your manager you won't be hassled for it. I've taken off a whole bunch of times over the years, just rang in and told them I need the day off and please mark it out from my sick leave/vacation leave.
swigglediddle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:04:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
manglement
hydrogensonata224 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this word. More apt given some of the 'manglers' I've worked with.
whiskeytab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we have this, they're called Flex days and we can use them any time with 24 hours notice... and I get them on top of vacation and sick time (actually sick days aren't even counted)
ThachWeave ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:52:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My employer doesn't even ask why. I could just decide that I want to marathon a video game that day. The main incentive not to do things like that is that whenever someone calls out and we can't get someone to cover for them, the day's work is much harder since we're short-staffed, and everyone gets out later. So when you do call out there's an acute awareness that that is going to happen to your coworkers, so people usually only do it if they REALLY have to.
SCSooner87 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:46:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this in addition to vacation/holiday or is vacation included in that as well?
loljetfuel ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:04:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They have a lump of paid time off (vacation + "short-notice days off"), but there is a limit on how many short-notice days you can take in a given period of time; there's manager discretion to flex those days for special circumstances.
The upside is that if you end up not needing/wanting short-notice days you can take them as vacation. The downside is that some people come in while sick because they don't want to eat up vacation. Fortunately, I work remotely so those folks don't get me sick, but it sucks for other people in the office.
It's not perfect, but I like the model.
_caponius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I only get 3 sick days per year then whatever vacation I have.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sick days is such a stupid concept to begin with. As if people can control when they get sick to begin with.
The best bosses I've ever had never gave a pre-determined number of days, they just told me to stay home when I didn't feel well.
I mean shit, I even offered to finish some stuff from home a few times, and my one boss just told me not to worry about it. You can tell when people care about you, and when they're just giving you the minimum number of required days to keep the law off their back.
Where I work now, it's the opposite situation where my bosses will either hound me about why I was sick and demand a note (as if sick people should be leaving the house, especially when the symptoms are obvious) or be super passive aggressive about my illness when I get back.
neonerz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:24:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You kind of hit the nail on the head why a lot of businesses frown on that. People will then come into work sick as not to use their "vacation" time.
My company used to be very loose on how you used your PTO. We lumped it all together and let employees use it however they wanted. Then people started taking advantage of it (calling out every other Monday, coming into work sick so they could take more vacations, etc) so we had to become more strict with its usage.
Its a shame really. Unlimited sick days were nice.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? That's awesome! Do you work for a big company? What industry are you in?
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's a smallish IT company.
eleanor61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. Yeah, my workplace calls them "personal days" or "PTO" (personal time off)
GoldMouseTrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, at my work place we're encouraged to come in just short of puking our guts out.
myusernameranoutofsp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work they combined sick days with vacation days and now they're all paid time off (PTO).
squatgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you work? I like this idea.
omninode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you work in a magical fairy land?
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's a small IT shop. It remains to be seen whether that policy stays in place if we get bigger, but...
Deformedchrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So your company basically has a no-consequence honesty policy for not coming to work? That's amazing! If I may inquire, who are you employed with?
reddoorcubscout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish my firm were like this. If I take a day off I was told I need a doctor's note. I said if I'm too ill to go to work why would I be able to get dressed, leave the house, get on a tram, sit in the doctor's office, tell him I'm not well, get a note then go back home?
TVCasualtydotorg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher who was signed off long term sick. He took my class out for a nice lunch to celebrate the end of our exams and used the line "Just because I'm sick doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself."
That's something I try to live by.
FieryCracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get flex days. They can be used for vacation, if your sick, or whatever the hell you want.
thisguy883 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss is really cool about letting me take days off for what ever reason. As long as there are enough people at work, I'm good to go.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:08 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My office policy is pretty sweet. I get 15 days sick leave a year (that's three weeks) it's rolls over, so after 10 years, I could have 150 sick days saved up, (30 weeks). Plus we have a leave bank - i get Lyme disease, out for 3 months and I only have 20 days of sick leave? Nbd. Burn all my sick leave and use the leave bank. Get paid the whole time.
Anyhow, the cool part is that I get 5 "unexecused" sick occurrences a year. An occurrence is up to 3 consecutive sick days. Unexecused means no questions asked. An "excused" day would be, I have a doctor's appointment, here's a note from his secretary.
It's pretty sweet. I can wake up with a minor headache and call in sick. I could wake up completely fine and call in sick. No one cares, the first five time are solely on the honor system.
double-dog-doctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My employer has no vacation policy, nor any sick days or whatever. Feeling sick? Don't fucking come into work, ya dunce. Work from home when you feel well, sleep it off and relax when you don't.
Want to take a vacation? Cool. Go take a vacation.
Parents sick in a different state? Right on. Go visit.
Need a mental health day? Do it. If you feel you need one, you probably do, and you should take one.
Have an appointment in the morning? No worries. Come in late.
As long as you're getting your work done, they don't care what you do.
Kits_87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you get paid for the time off still?
double-dog-doctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm salaried, so yep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a place like this. I miss it so much.
In my experience, you almost never find work environments like this if your boss is over 35.
Say what you will about millenials, but at the very least, they're providing much better working conditions than their parents were.
unrighteous_bison ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're abusing the sick leave system, which is why there should be no sick leave, and everything come out of a generic "paid time off" pool.
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is following the policy as set by the board of directors "abusing" anything? There is one paid time off pool, and we can use some of that pool for short-notice days by policy.
ATCaver ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 20:07:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working a warehouse job right now at a local business. The owner and higher-ups built the company from the ground up, so they remember what it was like to slave away for 8-10 hours a day in the heat.
From May 1 to August 31 you are allowed 5 free days, non-consecutive, at your own discretion, to take off for rest.
I just used one of mine last week after we had a doozy of a week. I had been breaking myself every day trying to get everything done.
I asked my supervisor what we had going on Friday and she said it was going to be an easy day since we had been working so hard during the week. I told her I was going to use a rest day, and she said that it was fine.
I don't understand why other places don't do something like that. We don't have expendable staff like big companies do, so if they're willing to let us have a free day, why can't other places?
awesomesonofabitch ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:50:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they want higher productivity levels to squeeze every dime possible out of their employees.
You not coming to work means they lose a little bit of money. Your company is just nice enough to appreciate you and your efforts more than a little bit of profit.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:29:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't they done studies that show that these "high productivity level" methods actually result in lower productivity in the end?
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My company did!
Thank god, too. We used to work every other Saturday, and that is changing next month. They looked at our weeks and noticed that 5 day work weeks were significantly less productive (significant enough where there was no way it was caused by having one less day).
SO looking forward to my 2 day weekends every weekend. I was always fucking useless the Monday after a 6-day work week.
yourmomtastesfunny ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:02:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a wonderful idea and sentiment. Unfortunately, far too many companies are unable to accommodate such luxury as a day off for you means screwing over your coworkers. Source: waitress for 12 years. I could be puking my guts out or nose pouring like a faucet but if I couldn't find someone to cover my shift I had to come in...including the time a had pneumonia...caused because the restaurant's heat broke in the dead of winter. I'll stop complaining now.
AXP878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think if a company can't afford to give proper sick/vacation time their business model doesn't work and they should go out of business. I would be FURIOUS if my waitress was obviously sick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's illegal.
possiblymyfinalform ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck making that argument to management. These places get away with this shit because their staff can't afford to do anything about it. Complain? Get fired. Get fired? Have fun getting a lawyer to sue for wrongful termination on what you used to make hourly. Most of us can't afford to upset the balance so we don't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Canada, so yes I can complain. If I get fired, that's a human rights violation and the commission will investigate my company. They can and will. Also, I'll complain to the union.
wyrdfell ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:25:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to take mental health days before. In my last job I had the best reaction I've had. I had to declare any medication I was on, so I put down my antidepressants. I'd been fine for eighteen months at that point, but still. They took me into a meeting, which I worried about for a week, only to say that if there was anything they could do they'd be happy to help. Needed specific shifts to go to counselling? They'd do it. Literally anything they could do to help.
Had to take a day off for one of my worst days, they told me to take the week to recover. Seriously wonderful HR people.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does your work need to know your prescription medications?
wyrdfell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it was mostly for stuff like insulin for diabetics. If anything happened they wanted to know. I probably didn't even have to declare mine, but I felt I should.
awesomesonofabitch ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:48:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Until we are given mental health days, sick days definitely fill that role in my life.
Mental health is greatly misunderstood in North America. We really need to get our shit together.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:50:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Amp3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this just a joke or are you pointing out some link between mental health and healthy digestion?
gladdit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is believed that there are links between mental health and digestive health. Symptoms of depression can include poor digestive health. The connection could be causal on either end.
I am not a doctor/scientist, but I think I read that serotonin is found in both the digestive system and in the brain, but the connection is unclear.
TediousGlaswegian ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:01:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a culture that gives it more credence than the West?
Abigantimos ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:22:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would guess that this person resides in the United States. We work a lot, relatively.
To answer your question, not to my knowledge. Many nations in Europe are incredibly generous with their workers. Throwing around the term "the west" like they have is incredibly asinine.
Ace417 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:47:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they meant the western hemisphere?
futtocks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they do...Do you not know where the hemispheres start?
Amosqu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Japan for one, doesn't let you take a day off with a cold, and you need a doctor's note if you have the flu. Hence one of the reasons why you see so many people wear surgical masks everywhere.
Ataya970 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also why they literally have a term for working yourself to death.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's apt considering Satoru Iwata's recent death.
Ataya970 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is honestly what I expected it to be at first but it was actually a bile duct growth.
quetzalKOTL ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:12:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Also, contagion. Sure, I could work with this cold, but then it would spread through the office, infect the customers, etc. Much better I take a sick day and get better and come in when I feel fine and I won't make you feel terrible.
FullmentalFiction ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:30:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Actually, it really bothers me when I see coworkers in sick and then have to worry about whether or not it was contagious, or if I touched something that they might have coughed on or something. Then I turn into a germaphobe for the rest of the day because I don't want to be sick too. Just take the day off if you're contagious, no one else at work wants it!
(Also, if it's possible to work from home, it makes doing this easier since you don't have to fall behind and catch up when you're better)
double-dog-doctor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you come in with a cold or something equally contagious, you will pretty much be forced to work from home at my office. Nobody wants your ick, dude.
Go home, work from there, come back when you feel well again.
FullmentalFiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to work at your office now.
double-dog-doctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my job, and this is just one of the reasons. I work at a software startup that has this very, very incredible combination of 1. being dynamic and exciting, and cutting-edge, 2. employs very smart, very kind people, and 3. run by very generous, very empathetic individuals.
It totally shows, too. Apparently only 1 person has ever left the company.
Clothing_Mandatory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've taken only 1 sick day in the last 2 years for this reason. I could have worked, but didn't want the virus to spread to others and cause them to lose work. I felt awkward even playing video games that day, couldn't even enjoy it.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:55:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you have a work schedule with shifts and calling in sick means your manager needs to find another person willing to come in an hour before the shift starts. In that case, don't be a douche and go to work unless you're really physically incapable.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:20:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the reason that if I ever have to call in, it's with a minimum of 2-3 hours of notice.
If I'm too sick to go to work, I know it well in advance and give my superiors more than enough headsup to either get the shift covered or at least let my workmates know that they'll be a man short for the shift.
FullmentalFiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the same time though, I've had instances where I was far too sick to leave the house at all (usually vomiting or something disgusting like that), so I'd call and inform I was too sick to work, but then the illness runs its course in 20-40 minutes and I could have gone in anyway with no ill effects. Sometimes it can be hard to tell until it's too late. At the time I was doing part-time hourly work too, so no sick pay or anything, you don't show up and you don't get paid. Kinda puts people in a predicament when they don't want to lose those hours on the (sometimes likely) chance that they'll be feeling better later.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I manage a bar and actually had a handful of times where employees would call in sick an hour or two early and have me scramble to cover them only to have them come in with their friends to drink. Don't do this.
Pravus_Belua ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:57:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having worked in management a considerable amount, I think this entirely depends on how your company is structured.
If you have both paid sick leave, and PTO (Paid Time Off/Vacation) then I don't accept that you should be able to use paid sick leave to stay home because you want to binge on Netflix. That's what your PTO is for. If you don't want to come to work today, cool, use some of your PTO and take the day off.
If your company is structured in a way that both aren't offered, then I would agree. Use whatever form of paid time off you have however you want, for whatever you want.
Just don't come whining to me 1/4 through the year about having no more paid time off if you've already burned through it. If it's absolutely critical, then I can try to accommodate you, but outside of that, well... A lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine.
kmuelle6 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:59:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We don't get pto unless it's scheduled, the schedules come out about 3 months in advance...
Pravus_Belua ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. Every company I've worked for allowed you to use PTO anytime you needed it.
They of course preferred you schedule it, so replacement personnel could be assigned to cover the shift, but if you had an emergency or whatever they didn't care if you called in absent and used PTO to cover your pay.
Ace417 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sick time never goes away. My vacation does over a certain amount. I'll use my sick time thanks.
Clothing_Mandatory ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:33:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree with your definition of "mental health day" as an excuse to hang out with friends or watch TV all day. That's what weekends and vacation time is for. That's different from taking a "mental health day" because you're suffering from panic attacks and can't focus on work.
_Dotty_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:07:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or suffering from depression so debilitating that you can't get out of bed.
ndfan737 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:25:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're suffering from depression that bad then this will not just be an occasional thing.
InvaderChin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:50:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're struggling with depression and working through things, not having the drive to get out of bed can be an occasional thing.
PropagandaBagel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have a pretty generous amount of sick days. I have really bad anxiety and depression which even though I'm being treated for, can still be overwhelming. I use my sick days generally for those days. Unfortunately my employer doesn't feel like that is a legitimate use and I've been written up for it despite still being under my sick day cap. It is pretty frustrating.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
PropagandaBagel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. It was for taking too many sick days. I think it is bullshit to get sick days, and then you get punished when you take them.
SavageNutDump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If anybody asks you "how sick are you?". Tell them" I just fucked my sister last night, how sick is that"
Pixiepudding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just took a "mental health day" the other day. Only it was really "I'm having a breakdown and my mind is telling me to kill myself" day. Called in last minute. Deffinitly screwed some people over. I'm going to be getting a reprimand/write up next time I see my manager because I've already used my allowed 10 sick days and 5 personal days because you earn them back one year to the day you took them and I had a rough year this past year. I needed it thoigh and my life and mind are worth more than the job.
UselessGadget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I'm sick and it keeps me up through the night. By morning, I feel okay, but I've been up most of the night. I don't want to come in but I'm certainly not sick. In that case if I sleep a few hours, I'm good to go by lunch time, but I'm not going into work at that point.
FafnerDeUrsine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've taken my fair share of mental health days. I had a really high stress job, and sometimes I'd just take the day to clear my head.
aasmith26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preach!
ReleaseTheRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For a lot of the reasons you listed, I just started telling people (including my boss) that "I won't be able to make it into the office today". It's none of their fucking business why, I have days to use and I can use them how I plan to. If they start asking why I called out or didn't make it to work I just tell them that I had things going on. If they keep prying then they are an asshole.
Jeegus21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right with you on the sick time. Maybe I even just need a few extra hours of sleep because I couldn't fall asleep until 4am. Hell I would argue its way more productive to have two half days than 1 full. If I go in at noon I get everything done I'd need to do anyway, maybe more because I'm not annoyed and I'm actually functional.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're fired.
akatherunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to take days off due to mental health but I had to make up a 'health' reason why I wasn't there. It sucked because I was bullshitting my employer but, at the same time, I was in no shape to go to work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed on this so much. I have chronic bronchitis and the first hour or two after waking up is sometimes a hell consisting of coughing up bloody mucus so on especially bad days, I have to call in sick for the morning but in the afternoon I can have my inhaler, cough drops and sometimes pain meds and I'm perfectly fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lover mental health days. I have never not considered them apart of my sick days since I was a young child. They are possibly more important as taking days off when you are physically ill.
felza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From time to time I wake up with a terrible headache or even a small fever and then decide to not go to school but instead sleep for the rest of the day. I get a lot better after a sleep and my school still wonders why i don't have a doctor's note. Oh I'm sorry, because i'd rush to the doctor at 7 in the morning grab a note and head to class with a freaking headache. nope, not happening.
doctorbooshka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just natural to say things like that. I am in tech school for broadcasting as our classes are small. So when I'm not there I always get asked why I wasn't there. It's annoying but I just think it's meant in some sort of well being/ nosy.
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My response is usually "Yeah, I was sick. Sick and tired. But I'm better now."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Number 2 is a really good idea. I hope to open up my own business someday and I will definitely be using that system.
Shootemout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you a word
JulitoCG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need to bring in a doctor's note to call out sick, and even then I can be fired if I get sick more then 3 times per year. I can't wait until I have my degree lol factory work sucks
corngood91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So are you giving me permission to call out tomorrow?
Soapuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The store I work at hates when people call in sick. Just yesterday I was talking with a coworker who was feeling awful, but when he had called in our manager told him to come in anyways. And last month I called in twice and got a verbal warning for it. They were two seperate, unrelated days. One at the beginning of the month and one toward the end. I can see it being a problem if someone constantly called in all the time, but besides those two days the last time I called in sick was a year ago.
pablo_the_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you need to lay off the nerdahol? Just kidding. I agree with you completely.
Where I live (South Korea, for now) employers will come to your house to look for you so they can verify that you are actually too sick to come to the office.
At the office I worked in back in the US, we just called them personal days and they were like vacation days that you didn't need to reserve in advance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, you may not actually feel particularly sick but don't want to infect people.
ReformedTomboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I used some of my sick time to go on vacation. IDGAF!
utspg1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had a job that gave separate sick and vacation days, so my message to my boss has always been "I'm not working today." If you aren't giving me sick days, then i have no reason to tell you why I'm using PTO that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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Sambaloney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your "sick days" are taken at short notice, it may inconvenience someone else, which is dickish.
pharuan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental Health days are just me calling in "work sucks I need a day". I'm a adult, if i need a day to do errands or whatever Ill take it. I know some people have jobs that suck and dont allow such things but I work way way to much to deal with crap like that.
driveonacid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have multiple sclerosis. I never look sick, and I'm actually doing really well. But, it's my ace in the hole. If I have to deal with all of the shitty aspects of this disease, I think I'm entitled to use it to my advantage occasionally, too.
EatingSteak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like you've never heard of a "mental health day"
shinymangoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a migraine since yesterday, I work retail so weekends aren't days off for me. I've been super stressed lately and everyone has been getting complaints from customers and the complaints are getting unreasonably stupid (she told me x was out of stock and that's horrible customer service!!!) Etc.
So I called in today. Migraine alone was enough to keep me in bed half the day. But I need time off to deflect the bullshit.
In other news, I'm looking for an office job...
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental health in general is taken nearly seriously enough. About 1/4 people will be clinically depressed in their life time, and we still stigmatize it an don't want to talk openly and address the problem
KickItNext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had the same problem as a kid. I would wake up feeling like garbage and tell my mom I was too sick for school. Then I sleep for 4 more hours after taking some medicine and feel better by lunch time, but then get grilled because I'm feeling well enough to play video games.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd wager that stress is a bigger impact on productivity than taking a day off for mental health every so often. Employers (and co workers who like to make off the cuff remarks about people who've taken a sick day for whatever reason) seem to be clueless.
Personally I think every employer should tell their employees explicitly that you can use your sick days as you see fit.
tekhnomancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By many accounts, that second point is extremely valid for the US because we barely get allotted any time off. I sometimes wake up late and just straight up feel poopy. Why? Because I have to work. Nothing wrong with me, I just want a goddamn day off.
uma100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, especially in the U.S. we have screwed up laws about vacation time and working hours. People in my office will hang around until 6:45 pm everyday even if they aren't doing anything because it will look bad if they leave early.
wewora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but if you work one of those jobs where you can't just do the work another day, someone else has to come in and cover for you, it's shitty to do something like that.
Therealhawkeye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Personal Days" instead of sick days are the bees knees
ZapTap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental health day is an interesting concept. I like that.
ImAwomanAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree with this. A while back I ended up with the flu, but it was a mild case as far as flu goes and I felt pretty much okay really quickly. However, I was told not to return to work (where I work with children, too) until I was fever free for 24 hours. I ran low-grade fever around 1 degree for 3+ days and I went to grab a couple of things from the store one afternoon where apparently a co-worker saw me there and complained to my boss that I was at the store when I was supposed to be sick. Also, people need to mind their own damn business!
crackedquads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I disagree somewhat. If you feel yourself getting stressed, request a Friday off on Wednesday. Don't call in Friday morning and force everyone else to unexpectedly do your work. This assumes you have a shared work load and not individual projects of course. Waking up and saying "I don't feel like working today" is bullshit in my opinion. Get over it, take tomorrow off if you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
I do agree that just because you were sick in the morning doesn't mean you can't do something in the afternoon is true though. Little bugs like that happen. that shouldn't be a big deal.
FF3LockeZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't imagine an employer who wouldn't fire me if I took a "mental health day." All of my employers have had the policy: If you're well enough to drive a car, you're well enough to work. Otherwise you're fired and we'll find someone else who actually shows up. When I worked at either Best Buy or Blockbuster in high school, one of them (I forget which) had a maximum of three sick days allowed per year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FF3LockeZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They'd rather have me show up and do 20% as good a job as usual than have me not show up at all. So, the only thing that is a valid excuse for taking a day off is if I'm physically unable to get there.
Windslepi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!! In my high school days I took the max days off without getting in trouble with the school just because. I wasn't sick. My mom knew I wasn't sick, but she let me stay home because fuck it I had great grades and sometimes I would have just rather read in bed all day or play video games than deal with high school bullshit.
tomdelongethong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you don't actually have any issues and you're just a lazy fuck like my coworkers, it becomes a problem.
jmcdon00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the job and situation. It would be great if we could all work whenever we felt like it, but many jobs require employees be reliable.
Bloodshotistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness YES! I was taking a sick day from my bakery I work at. The shift leaders climb up my butt hole and say, You don't sound sick. In my mind, I say, I'm sick of dealing with a**hole leaches like you guys who thinks it's right to bother me. Yes, you're busy. How come you didn't ask or pester anyone else? Why target me? I need a moment from your "Fran-from-The-Nanny" accent.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can I have a sick day if my friends have work jobs too and yet somehow hang with them? I wish.
nublete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me gusta doona days.
dinosaurninj4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU!! I have a disability that can some days make it impossible to get out of bed in the morning but by two in the afternoon I feel well enough to go workout and very very few people understand this.
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you just get overloaded on work and need a day off...i hear ya man!
prelude_2_extinction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one is fucking bullshit. If I take the day off work because I'm sick then go to the gym or something that night, my parents get all pissy about it. Like fuck off, I'll do what I want with my sick leave.. I'm 25 fucking years old.
ThatGuyWhoEngineers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've worked for employers with feelings across the spectrum about sick time. Some didn't give me any, some gave me shit for using it, some could care less if I used it.
When I was a cook, my uncle killed himself, and we had kind of a memorial at our house B/c we couldn't afford a funeral. I told my boss 3 days in advance I needed the day of the memorial off and she said, "Ugh, now I have to find someone to work for you." Fuck you Cathy, even if I was lying, who says that shit to someone?
Luckily, I'm at a job now that gives decent sick/vacation time, and my absence doesn't give anyone else a noticeably harder time. I've literally come into work and had a half day vacation for the same day approved.
angelathefirefly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you thank you thank you yes this
NegroNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this. You're totally right...some days you just nee that time off.
Danica170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in fast food, and the main reason management gets upset with this is because it's customer service, and if we don't have enough people to run things smoothly, we're going to get swamped and overwhelmed. We'll make mistakes and have angry customers and lose money. While I totally completely agree with you, at least in my industry, there's a reason for it.
possiblymyfinalform ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hated working retail for this reason. If you call in, you better be dying. I had a stomach bug and they still borderline threatened me if I didn't come in. Literally had to scream "I HAVE DIARRHEA AND WILL NOT BE COMING IN" to get them to leave me alone. Also, I worked for a pharmacy for 4 years and at no point was I made aware that I had sick days. They were never once mentioned to me until I had to take some time off and in reviewing my available time, a manager mentioned the number of sick days I had left. I still have no idea how many I was entitled to in a year. Transparency wasn't exactly their thing.
Same on doctor's notes. Almost every job I've had required doctor's notes if you missed work. Um, pretty sure you don't pay me enough to have insurance, nor do you pay me enough to make up for the $80 I have to spend at the free clinic (in addition to the 60ish dollars I'm missing out on because I'm too sick to work) every time I have a stomach bug, a bad cold, etc. Please trust me to judge that yes, I'm sick, and no, I can't work through it.
Ah, America. Land of the free, home of the working and sick as fuck.
LightningGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the idea I'd calling them mental health days. Especially when it comes to menial jobs that provide no mental or physical stimulation.
To be honest I feel like I need a couple, especially as it feels like I had two days taken from me and I've been told that I won't get them back as they were unpaid.
kentathon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you find yourself that badly needing a 'mental health' day or use those days like vacations, you should probably find a job you're actually capable of performing without taxing yourself.
The kind of people who see sick days as free vacation days are the kind of people their workplaces can probably do without.
MissBubbleButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's one of my biggest regrets about highschool, I should have skipped more.
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hated that. I used to get nearly constant migraines, 3-4x a week and was constantly in a state of headache. The thing about Migraines is that mine would last anywhere from 2 hours to 3 days. So I would typically call in if I felt like it was going to be a bad one.
Well sometimes I make a bad call and its over by early afternoon. So I go out. People just don't get it...
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, i absolutely dont get why you would take a day off once in a while at the expense of your employer, rather then get proper medical treatment of such a apparently serious issue..
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did get proper treatment and was getting treatment. My medication hadn't started working yet. I've only had a migraine maybe three times a month since my medication began to work.
But when I get them they are still severe and can still last just as long with symptoms occurring up to a day before the pain sets in. If you knew about migraines then you'd know most have no real cause, and many people suffer silently because there is nothing to be done. The medications only work so well and at some point stop working altogether.
I used to suffer through work and school sick and sensitive to light and sound and it simply prolonged the experience. I find now they don't last nearly as long if I just call into work instead of going in, being almost too sick too work, and having to leave anyway and remain sick hours longer.
I've had a battery of tests, I've cut out alleged triggers one by one. I have a neurologist who checks routinely on my progress. The medication cuts back on them, but not completely and I still have near constant headaches. At this point all she can do is hope they level off or go away when I get closer to 25. They have gone down, they still occur and when they do I will call in.
There is literally nothing I can do but choke back pills and wait. So yeah I'll call in so that I can work my next shift instead of prolonging the pain for days and putting in subpar work or having to call in the following two days instead of taking the first day off to treat it.
Narcli ยท 1907 points ยท Posted at 15:09:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People drinking on the streets... I don't care as long as they're not arseholes.
bokonos ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 16:38:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to move to New Orleans.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:03:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really that common there? I've been wanting to move there for a while actually..
1rj800 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:48:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. Just don't do stupid shit and there is never any problems.
Edit: Unless someone else is an asshole to you.
Kingindanorff ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:29:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Common and legal. Bars have plastic "go cups" at the doors so you can just pour in your beer and be on your way.
cajunFAITH ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:32:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are drive thru Daiquiri shops
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:32:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude that sounds so great.
Geaux12 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:44:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT IS GREAT
WE ARE GREAT
Please don't move here and open a craft cocktail bar.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The world has enough craft cocktail bars
Only_if_you_run ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Geaux12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw c'mon, don't be one of the xenophobes. When our state is run by an incompetent fuckboy like Bobby J, we need all the help we can get. Just don't come here and turn it into Brooklyn.
This goes doubly for all the immigrants to Louisiana who feel they have license to bitch about anyone who came after them.
Only_if_you_run ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If someone's final deciding factor in whether or not they'll move here is the loose public intoxication laws, I doubt they'd be much help.
Also, living here my entire life and seeing people come here in their 20s and get wasted day in and day out, and pretending they have some egocentric understanding of "the city" and then want to bitch about the people who have lived here their entire lives can turn one into bit of a misanthrope. This city is the black hole of shit holes and people coming here and glorifying it's debauchery are the ones keeping it that way.
Or maybe I just walked passed one too many crusties today.
Geaux12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone's never been to the rust belt. Imagine all the crime, but none of the culture.
Only_if_you_run ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I meant it more in reference to all the people coming here from all the other shitty places and just staying here, along with those of us who somehow try to get away but always end up getting stuck coming back here. More people come here than leave, basically.
BestBuyVestibule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Everytime I go I'm still surprised that it's literally the norm to be drinking/holding a bottle of alcohol in the streets. In Toronto, and basically Canada in general (besides Montreal), you can't drink in public (or you just have to be really good at hiding it) and last call is at 2am. In New Orleans, I don't think I've ever been told "last call" lol the party is all night. One of the many reasons New Orleans is absolutely amazing, and why I love going.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to a bar, buy a drink. Leave, go to a bodega, buy a tallboy. Walk to new bar, repeat.
It's like the streets are another bar!
elk-x ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:03:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Europe
cmiyCant ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:09:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Northen europe
PokemasterTT ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:07:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eastern Europe.
cerberus_cat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know about other Eastern European countries, but it's sure as hell illegal in Lithuania.
It is perfectly fine to do it in Denmark, though.
HauntedCemetery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or san francisco.
De-Von ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:49:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Savannah.
ryewheats2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or Vegas
krism142 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or vegas
DeadPrateRoberts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's some pictures I took on a recent vacation to New Orleans. We had a wonderful time!
TheSlothFather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glad you liked it, what would you say was the best part of your trip?
DeadPrateRoberts ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:03:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goodness, if I had to pick one thing, I think I'd choose the swamp tour. It was a unique experience for me.
Flossterbation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Butte Montana
alwaysforgettingmyun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:20:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you can drink on the streets in butte? I once had to kill a three hour bus layover there, when nothing was open and if I had known that, (and any bars had been open) I'd have drank on the street. Instead some hippie guys got me stoned on a roof, so it was still ok.
XDSHENANNIGANZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't you like fuck up traffic for a couple hundred dollars or something?
pobparker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or europe
traversecity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:05 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wish there were more us cities like NOLA.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He said as long as they're not assholes...
NoCardio_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:42:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you had a bad experience. Let me guess, Mardi Gras?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:52:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a Falcons fan
Cobe_notKobe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
typical Falcons fans....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:16 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, actually. Walking the streets back to the hotel at around 8 PM and was absolutely manhandled by two creeps. My sister and I were visiting for the first time.
porn_philosopher ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 17:36:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably the worst thing about nightlife in the US. Other countries have so much fun with streets vendors because you can have a beer outdoors with your amazingly greasy food :c
FF3LockeZ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:01:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are aspects of greasy food that aren't at their peak in America? Dammit. We're failing as a country.
mfigroid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to Key West, my friend. Bars offer to go cups. Convenience stores as well.
ThatFuh_Qr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's pretty much the same across South Florida as far as I've seen. Whether you are going fishing, going to the beach, golfing, or just bar hopping, drinking outdoors is just part of it.
TheDailyBern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was going to say this. Me and a buddy lost our IDs on Duval St so we couldn't get into bars, but a guy on the street selling beers didn't care, and we just bought some from him and walked around all night, it was pretty fun
mfigroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Duval Street. Disneyland for alcoholics! Love that island.
Narcli ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really allowed in town and city centres unless your sitting outside a pub, but as long as you're not loud or as previously mentioned ed an aresehole, police don't seem to mind.
rtilde ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:06:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Speaking for my own country, you can drink a beer anywhere you can drink any other liquid.
Manadox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And which country is this?
rtilde ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:17:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Portugal
cynicbla ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:34:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Switzerland for instance you can drink anywhere you want in public. Even right in front of the Federal Palace, if you want. And no one will bother you.
anxiety23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:07:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
France is the same.
SonataWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:32 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I know in Belgium as well. Only thing I have seen pop up more and more recently in busy pub streets is that it's forbidden to have glasses or glass bottles outside after a certain hour. Plastic cups and cans are no problem.
Omholt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same with Iceland.
TheCodexx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:49:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. It's illegal but the cops aren't looking for an excuse to come around unless you're causing trouble. In the US, the cops see it as a good excuse to bust someone.
kirchart123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:59 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whats on your hand?. A drin... pum pum bang bang!.
w1czr1923 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just got back from Ireland. They sell beer at burger King and McDonald's... I decided I must move there asap
Shhh_Peaceful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Irish and no they don't.
prash33n ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:11:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
R u kiddin me, every collection of bars in Houston has a food truck nearby! Midtown is where all the night life is at has kabab guys, mexican Korean fusion, pizzas
woeful_haichi ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 17:10:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Korea. The convenience stores here often have plastic patio furniture set up outside for groups to sit and drink at.
folderol ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:18:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And shoju is cheap as hell.
seiferfury ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:22:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not on other countries. Fuck importation taxes
drovix ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sheesh yeah, trying to get any back in the States is $3.5-4 per bottle which is unacceptable to me when it was like 1,200KRW.
bitemeshinymetalass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1200 South Korean Won equals 1.05342 US Dollar
ryewheats2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:53:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or in Greece I've actually seen vending machines outside cafes that have beer in them! WTF! No ID required or checked lol.
goldstarstickergiver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
same in japan, and it doesn't cause any issues. Big difference in drinking culture I guess.
JasXD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:26:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese vending machines that stock tobacco or alcohol have required an ID to use for the last few years.
goldstarstickergiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most tobacco ones yeah, but i still see plenty of id-less beer ones around. helps that im not in tokyo i guess
woeful_haichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard Japan has something similar but don't know how common it is there.
It's been a while so my memory could be playing tricks on me, but I think I once came across a claw vending machine in Korea that included a bottle of alcohol (cheap scotch?) as one of the things that could be won. However, it could also have been a giant paperweight that only looked like alcohol.
jamez548 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:36:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GS25 for the win!
claryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this was very "foreigner" thing to do since it is seen as rude to walk while drinking or eating anything in Japan (but legal to have alcohol on the streets), but when I studied abroad there we'd do "convenience store crawls." There's a convenience store basically at every other corner in Tokyo, probably similar to Korea.
You buy a beer at the first convenience store and you have to finish it before you get to the next convenience store, if you're not done you have to chug it and pay for someone else's at the next one. Proceed to get ridiculously shitfaced.
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, if only it were that simple. If only traveling was so cheap you could do it just for such a small novelty.
darcmosch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
China's got em too, but they're not very nice patio furniture haha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
North or South?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:27:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
both
HodorFromHodor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it's best if you start your day in the South, have a few drinks, then walk up to the North.
woeful_haichi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
West
chuckdiesel86 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 16:40:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would be ok but most people are assholes when they drink. I don't think we've evolved civil alcoholics yet.
cyclenaut ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:17:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to surround yourself with happier more easy going people.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I did! I moved halfway across the country because people here were awesome when I vacationed here lol.
ElvisChrist6 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:07:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you're in a country where it's not a social norm, and I think that's the reason most are arseholes for you. Normal people are scared of getting nicked or scolded. Here in Ireland people drink in public a lot more than in, say, America and are mostly normal people because our police don't care as long as you're not causing trouble.
smokemonmast3r ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, for one, am certainly more of a goofy/funny drunk than I am an angry one. I feel it has to do with the metaphorical dick measuring contest that many guys my age get into.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In America, I've found a few small, dive bars with only a handful of regulars where everyone gets along. Everytime I went to a "popular" bar, someone had to be an asshole and there were usually multiple people ejected every night. I've had people get aggresive towards me for absolutely no reason. Some bars even have super aggresive bouncers that escalate things for no reason, one of the bars had a lawsuit because one of their roided out bouncers punched a woman in the face. I don't even go to bars anymore. Why pay $12 for a shot just to be hassled by idiots all night?
ElvisChrist6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't really relate to a lot of it as here you only really get that shit in clubs, which I don't go to, proper pubs here are brilliant (if you ever plan to come here, I have lots of recommendations). But yeah, if you want to get a buzz with some friends, the park isn't a bad option at all!
chuckdiesel86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I moved to a different area in the US and people seem much happier and friendlier here. I'm realizing my hometown is kinda shitty. It really turned me off to the whole bar scene, though. There's only one bar I like and I ended up becoming friends with the owner. There would be 5 or 6 people on a regular night and it was a good place to kick back for a beer. Most places in my hometown have turned into the "Club Scene" or "Sports Bar" to drive up business. They all feel like they're in the same franchise or something.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No?
chuckdiesel86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the question?
Ifuckedthatup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ehh. I look a little retarded, but I'm not usually an asshole
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between having a beer, and being a public nuisance.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess the majority of people from my hometown are a public nuisance. Kinda makes sense when you look at it that way.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even the civil ones can be as annoying as fuck.
shesallover ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people are assholes, FULL STOP. Drinking just makes them a little more honest about it.
I say, weed 'em out.
NoCardio_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe this. I'm more of an asshole when I'm sober. After a few drinks, I find reasons to like people.
pantofla ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:05:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually enjoy a walk on the beach at night with a can of beer and some good company
DolphinSweater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The way you phrased that makes it sound as if that would be a revolting proposition to most people.
jmrichmond81 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:59:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen this one as a social issue so much as a safety one. Rather like general public intoxication and drunk-driving regulations. If your'e getting sauced in public around other people/traffic/etc, odds are there's going to be an issue.
DolphinSweater ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:40:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People drink on the streets and in public transport here in Germany every day, and there are pretty much no issues with it.
folderol ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:17:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's something we don't do well in the US.
jmrichmond81 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:59:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're Americans...it takes little more than a stray glance to cause a fight in a bar when people are good and loaded.
DolphinSweater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm also American (I just live in Germany). We can drink on the streets in Missouri as well though. I never really thought much of it until I realized that most of the States don't allow it.
Kvothe24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drives me crazy. I could be at a friends house drinking a beer about to head over to a friend's place two blocks away and I either have to dump it or chug it cause I could get a $300.00 ticket if a cop drives by when walking that two blocks with a beer.
loljetfuel ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:23:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being drunk might cause a safety issue, but just because I'm drinking doesn't mean I am (or even will be) drunk. It's nuts that I can't legally walk across the street with half a beer in my hand because I decided to see if the neighbor wanted one.
jmrichmond81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That specific instance would be covered under most places' "open container" laws. The same thing that can get you in trouble if you have an open bottle or open case of beer in your vehicle when pulled over, drinking or not. Also, what kind of asshole offers his neighbor half a beer? ;)
Kenny__Loggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:41:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
open container laws when you're walking?
jmrichmond81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least in the lovely state in which I reside, the open container law isn't just a traffic regulation, and is written vaguely enough that it's an offense in public period.
stereofailure ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:33:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes no sense though that I can walk into a bar take 6 shots of tequila and then walk right out into the streets, but if I enjoy a single beer while walking outside I'm now breaking the law. It's absolutely ridiculous.
jmrichmond81 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If we're going to debate the ridiculousness of laws I can point you to a place where it is still illegal to take a bath in the front room of your house on Saturday night. I just came for the 'socially unacceptable' vs 'actually illegal' bit.
stereofailure ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except laws like that are never actually enforced. Public drinking laws are.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:40:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to Savannah, GA last spring break. They have no laws against drinking in the streets and everything seemed to be going perfectly fine for them. I didn't see a single person stab someone else with a bottle.
jmrichmond81 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:46:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And in most cases, you wouldn't. Just like most bars go most days without people being beaten, shot, or stabbed. Unfortunately laws aren't written with any kind of applicable sense in mind, and have to be tailored to blanket protect as much of the lowest common denominator as possible. You think we have speed limits because vehicles can't handle driving down the highway at rates greater than 55mph? No, it's so that tickets can be written and there are a lot of people that would do double that without the training or capability to do it safely.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because driving faster than 55 mph is significantly more dangerous than not. The same isn't necessarily true for drinking in streets being legal vs. not.
true_gunman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:58:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense but getting sauced inside and then walking outside would be just as dangerous. Bringing your drink with you doesn't make it more dangerous.
jmrichmond81 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:30:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, unless you want to start going down some avenue of logical likelihoods...but then I didn't say it was 'more dangerous'.
true_gunman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I guess you can't really have people walking around drinking all day but I was imaging just walking from bar to bar. Like certain streets at certain times could allow public drinking and I don't think it would be much of problem.
jmrichmond81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nor do I...but I was just stating that I don't think it's a 'social' thing like OP's question, and more of a regulatory issue, at which point I was saying I think it falls more under those regulations than being something in particular.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia it's a legal issue. Yay nanny state.
cubitfox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:13:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why drinking on the street is illegal an many places. It's not like you can't get wasted at home then leave and cause public disturbances.
zeuther ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:48:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's more of a safety concern for the drinker and their environment however
AndrewRCrowley ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The great nation of Ireland salutes you my friend
SingleBlob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well here it's okay. There are even public events on public spaces where people go to drink. If it's aimed at younger people you see them streets away going towards or from it with alcohol in hands.
You can also just get drunk in the city's park
Too bad alcohol is such a lame drug
Ps: it's not drinking events per se but people like to use every occasion to get drunk
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whooo, we got us a meth head over here.
SingleBlob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol just doesn't do much to me. Most it does is make me puke the next morning.
I call that lame. On par with Nikotin I think
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't blame the alcohol, bub. It's "nicotine" by they way. For future reference. And nicotine does suck, but alcohol is way better for those of us whose bodies are kind enough to not flip out on it. My condolences for that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That and pissing in public. I mean as long as the guy isn't just pissing on a window downtown with people inside and is instead taking time to head in the bushes and be discreet about it and whatnot, I could really give a shit. It's just piss, why should someone get a ticket because they're walking down the sidewalk and every bathroom is "customer only". We really have to pay money to take a fucking piss or else we get a ticket and pay money?
folderol ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:19:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ticket? It's also possible to become a registered sex offender if someone wants to make a big deal out of it. It is a bit ridiculous but is not without it's health hazards too.
shesallover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah no.
I'm fine with someone giving you a ticket for pissing in the street... Along with the 378 other hobos pissing on my back door every week... And in regard to them it makes sense, because it's not like they can just go piss in the toilet at home.
Nah, don't treat the street like a public toilet. Accidents happen (Little kids I understand) but usually it's drunk people behind the club, right down the alley from my studio, and I'm honestly not impressed by the constant funk of concentrated urine being continually re-hydrated by a fresh stream of hot rejected beer.
lets-start-a-riot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No thanks. You clearly doesnt have thousand of british tourist teenagers in your city.
Bookoo995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's more of a safety issue than anything... In college, if I got a dollar for every time I saw someone stumble in front of a moving car just to have them slam on the breaks and barely avoid hitting them, I'd be rich.
SomaGuye ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:00:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not to do with drinking on the streets, it's because the drinking age in America is so high that kids in college don't know how to handle their alcohol.
Bookoo995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually now that you mention it you're exactly right. When I heard "drinking on the street" my young brain automatically jumped to "getting shitfaced on the street."
Wrathwilde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. Get on the fucking sidewalk with your beers, I'm trying to drive here.
socializm_forda_ppl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more annoyed by people walking around carrying on loud phone conversations than I would be by somebody drinking a beer on Main Street. Just don't be a drunk asshole and cause problems for anyone else
CrystalElyse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I moved to Savannah, Ga about a year ago. I wholesale avoid the area north of Jones Street (where public drinking is fine) Thursday night through Sunday. From what I can tell, it's only assholes that drink on the streets. To be entirely fair, they're almost all tourists. But, still, it's people getting stumbling, mumbling, drooling drunk.
And forget about the major holidays. It's people getting blind drunk, puking in the streets, peeing in the street, beating each other up, etc. I'm amazed that no one has died of alcohol poisoning/dehydration/heatstroke like all the time.
I don't mind people having a good time and all, but there's such a thing as too much at once. If you want to get that drunk, don't do it in the middle of a busy city where people live and puke on their rosebushes. It honestly wouldn't be so bad if it weren't THOUSANDS of people doing it instead of just a handful.
LeaveTheLightsOff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alot of states have no rules about drinking openly in the streets. Typically it is against a municipal ordinance to do so, but not everywhere has an ordinance that forbids it. I live in a mid sized town in Illinois that doesn't have a prohibition against drinking in public but you can't leave a bar with an open container because its against state law.
_caponius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why Vegas is awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sadly a lot of people who drink become arseholes
shrekrepublic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never saw it as a bad thing, but then I'm from New Orleans.
immortaldual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's not a street but last month my gf and I went on a 8 mile hike. We ended up at this beautiful lake that was perfect for sitting shore side and sippin' on a beer. We busted out the natures valley bars and threw back a Rainier beer each because we're classy. Both of us are very conscious of litter and pack out what we bring in, even going so far as to pick up random pieces of trash we see if we have the room for it. This old couple just glared at us from about 50 feet away while we sipped out cheap beers as if we were tarnishing the pristine landscape just by being there. It was the weirdest thing but I'd be damned before I let them ruin my blue sky nature hike beer. I earned that shit!
Dumebuggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can in New Orleans.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
illegal in America
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem is assholes will demand equal rights to drink on the street, so better just not let anyone do it at all.
sartaingerous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that has "horseholes". Not sure why.
CodeJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem is there are a lot of assholes that drink publicly, so you have to ban it as a whole. I think it's better that way anyway. Can't they wait until they're home on in a pub.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. America's open container game is weak as hell.
mrmonkeyriding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I happily walk down the road with a mate on a sunny day with a cold beer.
geeageee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is completely legal and commonplace in Korea, and most of the time it's no big deal. But sometimes problems arise from this. From what I've heard they are considering a law prohibiting public drinking.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather they be a drunk goofball than a sober asshole.
ManBearPig1865 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can in my city.
PocketFullOfShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Butt... they usually are.
badguy28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buy a paper bag. Bingo bango bongo.
Therealhawkeye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live, you can get arrested for carrying a beer in public, but not a gun. Shit's fucked up.
josiahpapaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking in public is legal in many places, such as Japan and many countries in Europe.
I have no idea why it's outlawed in North America. I see people in Canada behave way worse under the influence than people in Japan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to take 4 cans up to the seafront, sit on the hill and watch the ocean. It was lovely, threw all my cans in the dustbin and never bothered anyone I just had a nice couple of hours peace and quiet.
tehftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's supposed to protect against drunks destroying public property, but most of the time I see that police goes after those who are drinking instead of those who are destroying property.
Cheeseologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's definitely not a taboo in some places, haha.
cosmopaladin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably about things like trash, broken bottles and oppressing the poor.
Th3Thing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just had a fucking ticket last night for that... cops are asshole sometimes, would be too easy to just say ''Can you put this away please?''
SOMBREROOO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the brit!
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the funny thing about certain freedoms in America. Some places you can carry a concealed gun, but I don't know of any place you can drink on the street. Actually come to think of it, a bunch of drunks carrying guns around sounds kind of terrifying.
passaloutre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever been to New Orleans?
WorkingLikeADog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vegas too.
passaloutre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was speaking specifically of the drinking and gun culture here.
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. I'm a New Yorker. We just stay in our little sphere and talk shit about the rest of the country.
turkturkelton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Japan it's ok to drink on the streets but not ok to drink (anything) while walking. So we stood outside of a convience store and drank like Jay and Silent Bob.
silvermember ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:10:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is usually illegal in many places, that is why.
estvik ยท 4158 points ยท Posted at 15:22:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running in public. Not as means of training, but as means of getting from one place to another. Much more time efficient than walking. I would run at the speed that I'm not going to sweat.
moontime87 ยท 1717 points ยท Posted at 17:42:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once ran home from the pub, and I got stopped by the police because they thought I had stolen something
Brancher ยท 668 points ยท Posted at 18:50:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I consider myself in pretty good shape. I actually prefer to run home from the bar as opposed to taking a taxi. Even if it's a couple miles, not a big deal and you usually feel much better when you get home.
Aceinator ยท 936 points ยท Posted at 19:03:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Miles!? After a pub!? What are you slamming energy drinks and Gatorade?
Brancher ยท 1457 points ยท Posted at 19:11:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a distance runner...with a cocaine problem.
Aceinator ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 19:32:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My god, that'll def get ya going
tabassman ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:05:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's actually at home the whole time--we just don't have the heart to tell him otherwise.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:49:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hateborn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:10:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It will, on the other hand, make you run home from the bar. Even if you drove to the bar.
Keegan320 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:43 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want to believe that reddit was mostly high schoolers, but this is upvoted... Sigh.
Z1rith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you run often a few miles isnt very much, 10km is less than an hour at a jog so it really isnt that big of a deal
vanguard_DMR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some say he's still running...
tps222 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:12:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a dangerous combo for heart troubles, please take care of yourself!
Brancher ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 22:11:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a dangerous combo for crushing 5K PR's too.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:32:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not going to be so great when you keel over halfway through a race due to a heart attack. Not talking shit, but you said you had a coke problem. That implies heavy use which will fuck your heart up no matter how much running you do. If you're training while high it's even worse as you're running your heart at max constantly.
AcidCyborg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cocaine by itself is barely cardiotoxic. It's only when mixed with alcohol that it becomes cocethylene in vivo which is dangerously so.
transmogrified ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:11:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but who does coke without drinking?
Pneut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pam
destinythrow12787 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:27:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lmfao. take care of yourself bud, but well played
xRehab ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you keep a victory bowl packed in the car/on the desk for when you finish
Brancher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:31:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know it.
funnymanrocco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the party, but that was a great comeback.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What is your PR? This is my first summer running, hit 20:52 as my best 5k so far. I'm around 47 for 10k and started training this week to run my first half in October. Hoping to do it in 1:45.
Brancher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In an actual race like 15:15 maybe? From the bar no clue.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christ that's quick. Fastest I've seen first hand in a race was back in May a guy put up a 15:03... Then again I didn't catch it first-hand. He would have been over a km ahead of me.
Brancher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
20:52 is really fucking good for your first summer running.
Tommy2255 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:51:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably less dangerous than cocaine and no exercise. Cocaine and cheeseburgers, now that'll fuck up your heart.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no actually, cocaine and exercise might just be worse.
Jive-Turkeys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:06:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, see something doesn't quite add up here. You sound more like a cocaine user with a running problem!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean a too-much-money problem?
_BindersFullOfWomen_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:08:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best. Training. Program. Ever.
kpatrickII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me? Except adderall.
NintendoDestroyer89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is u/8_ball from a few comments down your hookup?
8_ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, not my thing.
mashedbrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want this to be the name of your book.
Tbern05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try meth. It's more cost efficient.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem? Sounds like you found a great way to super charge your workouts. A girl from my old high school did this for a while. She can't have kids now but damn if she isn't hot.
truthinlies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like a cocaine solution
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the problem with cocaine?
graverubber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More of a cocaine solution.
hydrogen_won ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin is that you?
casketballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a cocaine runner with a distance problem
sniperforlife1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds more like a cocaine solution.
pobparker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
with a cocaine enhancement
ORlGlNAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OhSeeThat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:19 on July 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tagged as Distance runner with cocaine habit.
SayceGards ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And there it is
yudo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:37:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jagerbombs & COCAINE YEAH
willclerkforfood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll have a red bull and vodka, hold the vodka." chuckle
poland626 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Anything farther than a mile and I take a cab
GPcouple07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this when I was in my early 20s. Now that I'm a few years older a cab will do just fine.
Mirrorflute88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just a a distance runner who enjoys some schnapps before my daily run
eaglessoar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never been on a drunk run I take it...
Aceinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
College, yes, lol from 4 am sprints home on the pitch black
master_guru88427 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't run but I have power walked from the bar scene home. Felt pretty damn good afterwards and the state of drunkenness made it not suck.
mootsfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drunken running is the best running.
kevindlv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've run ~3 miles home from the bar a few times as well. Granted, it was after a kickball game so I'm already in athletic gear and 6-7 beers is adequate hydration for me.
No way in hell would I willingly run several miles home in jeans and desert boots or Vans. That's what the bus or Uber is for.
DigiDuncan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gatorade + vodka, maybe?
pot_icecream_ukulele ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:37:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
During college and for several years after, running was the standard way of getting home, occasionally i'll still bet friends that I can beat them home, my drinking has curtailed significantly, not the running.
MyFirstOtherAccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:27:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im usually really cheap when im drunk so id rather run home for 20 min than take a cab
craigmontHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not cheap when I'm drunk, I've just spent all my money on booze - which is why it seems a good idea to walk back the 10km to residence, at 2am, in -40. Everyone called me crazy, but I actually enjoyed the walk.
JensonInterceptor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:42:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know that alcohol increases your risk of a heart attack if you exercise while pissed?
iUsedtoHadHerpes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that because it thins your blood?
JensonInterceptor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something about the heart os under stress cos of all the poison in the bloodstream. I dunno the specifics just a bloke talked to us at work and he had all sorts of phds
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even a distance runner and I do this after a night out because its the ONLY time I can get away with it. I'm a 20min walk from my closest bus stop and man, unless i'm wearing my workout gear I just get messed up looks if I'm doing a light jog even. It's only a mile, I dont need to break a sweat, but it's just strange to see someone going to work running i guess.
deputymeow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or throw up...
mfigroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read: sober. Kind of defeats the purpose of going to a bar, though.
Brancher ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:37:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah to pick up chicks.
"Hey babe you wanna come back to my place? It's just a short 6 miler, how does 6:15 pace sound?"
HammletHST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you sound like my buddy. Except when he's drunk, he runs like the ninjas in Naruto
HarmlessEZE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did it just the other night. Was too bored to walk. And drunk enough to not be tired while running.
HodorFromHodor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I walk 1 1/2 miles to the pub, and run home. It's a small town, so it's better doing that than paying $40+ for a 1 1/2 mile taxi ride.
holy_harlot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
are you always wearing running shoes or do you just run in whatever you're wearing?
Brancher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I probably hold some kind of record for cowboy boot 2 mile.
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a hell of a lot faster. Boosting from 1.5mph to a light 6mph quarters the travel time. Hour walk=15 min light run.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Used to walk about 4 miles home from town every weekend.
Usually walk 4 miles there too. Just carried my headphones and ipod then put those in and enjoyed some tunes on the walk, luckily no one ever ran up behind me in the alley and decked me with a plank of wood.
mykindomforausername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, When i was running a lot I would run home from the pub all the time! Nothing like that cold morning air in your face while it feels like your moving must faster than you actually are.
handsomesteve88 ยท 212 points ยท Posted at 19:53:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I was arrested several years back because I was drunkenly running home from a bar. Apparently a cop was chasing after me yelling at me to stop and my drunkass didn't hear him. I was tackled in the parking lot to my apartment and then thrown in the drunk tank. I got a first-hand experience of the U.S. judicial system when I spent the next 6 months fighting an "evading arrest" charge.
Stoic_stone ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:19:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how'd it turn out for you?
handsomesteve88 ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 20:32:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eventually settled for Failure to Comply and Jaywalking, so two class C misdemeanor's instead of a class A, which could have really messed with background checks. Ideally I would have fought it till everything was dropped but I had just graduated college and was making next to nothing at my first job and couldn't afford to keep paying for a lawyer or to keep taking off time for court dates where they would make me sit and wait for anywhere from 3-6 hours before telling me they weren't ready and then reschedule. It's all taken care of now and in the past but it was definitely eye-opening into how the court system can massively fuck over lower-income or even middle-income people.
Stoic_stone ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:37:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a pretty shitty situation, glad to hear that it (kind of) worked out for you, although you're echoing the same problem that gets talked about all the time. Pretty frustrating stuff
_Bones ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:23:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole "Speedy trial" thing kind of fell by the wayside a while back.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:02:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time people waive their right to a speedy trail if they plan on fighting the case.
lobehold ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:54:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time combine running forward and running backwards, so you never miss any police chasing you.
Harry101UK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:31:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Run home sideways?
58592825866 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:32:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somersault your way home. Throw a few cartwheels in here or there so you don't get surprised from the sides.
AintNothinbutaGFring ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:07:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The crazy thing is, if you had been busting your ass on a bike, no one would have batted an eye. Somehow it's socially unacceptable to use our feet for anything other than walking in public, but add some pedals and wheels into the equation and now you're just using the vehicle like it's meant to be used. You almost never see anyone biking at a jogging pace, or just running for no reason.
And the thing is, biking home from a bar is probably more dangerous than running.
posam ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:20:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you can get a DUI.
_Bones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which I have never understood. What are you going to do on a bike, other than fall over or slowly veer into a bush? When I'm that drunk I cant even walk fast and stay balanced.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a drunk cyclist once. He got on his bike, wobbled for a few meters, crashed into a low brick wall and fell into some rose bushes. Was pretty funny.
EchoJunior ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:53:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The US doesn't even allow people to run in public places? That's...weird..I often run when I'm late to class, or when I simply want to get somewhere quick.
fresh72 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:12:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to have on a suit, sports gear, or have your cellphone out like you have to meet someone
positiveinfluences ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or just look frantically like you're about to miss something
fresh72 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to have on a suit, sports gear, or have your cellphone out like you have to meet someone
uma100 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:18:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I know someone who had a very similar thing happen to him when he was completely sober but I think he was just detained/hassled and not arrested. I'm a paralegal currently working in HR, you would be surprised at how many people I have to do background checks on that have stories like this.
meowmeowsss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy FUCK. Man lawyer should of had no problem? Did you end up with a record? More info please!!
handsomesteve88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the problem was that the DA kept dragging the case out. They would schedule a court date, I would take off work to go in, then I would wait several hours for them to just tell me that their case wasn't ready, then they would reschedule for a month or so later. I had about 5-6 different court dates and after that I couldn't afford to keep paying the lawyer or take off work anymore. So when they finally offered me a settlement of Failure to Comply and Jaywalking six months later I took it. It was bullshit, and I'm still kinda pissed that I settled, there was just no way I could afford to continue on with the way they were dragging it out.
Aassiesen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a bunch of bastards. It's so fucking obvious that it isn't about justice.
meowmeowsss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's truly unfortunate , I hope things are going muc better for you
handsomesteve88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, it was several years ago and all in the past. It was just one of the many hiccups I've had throughout my life that make the good parts, like now, so much better.
Cuntasaurus--Rex ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Evading arrest" on what fucking grounds? Fucking piggie had no goddamn reason to arrest you in the first place so how could you evade it?
"Oh, we're gonna charge you with murder. What's that? You didn't kill anybody and there's no victim? Too bad, buddy."
Goddamn, I would have been hulked out with rage if I were you.
handsomesteve88 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:38:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public intoxication, I was drunk and outside so they had a "reason" to stop me. The evading arrest was because I didn't stop when they were chasing me, granted, it wouldn't have held up if I had ever actually gone up in front of a judge, but like I said in another reply, they just kept dragging the case out so that I wound up settling because I couldn't afford to keep paying the lawyer or keep taking days off of work. And as for hulking out with rage, if you do that on a cop you're winding up in a lot worse place than the drunk tank.
Cuntasaurus--Rex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:51:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that. Instead of being a cunt and driving while drunk, you went home on foot and didn't risk any lives. Absolutely ridiculous of those pigs.
ThatNoise ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 06:32:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chill it with the slurs bro.
Cuntasaurus--Rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, fuck off.
ThatNoise ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:34 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real mature.
Cuntasaurus--Rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:28 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume your username refers to your posts.
ThatNoise ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well said.
freehunter ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 19:43:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been stopped by the police, but I have had random strangers say odd things if they see me running then I stop near them (like if I'm waiting to cross the street). They'll comment than jeans and a button up is not common running gear, like humans can only run when they're wearing technical fabric. Someone did once ask me what I was running from. Sometimes walking is too slow and I just want to get somewhere a little quicker. I'm not in the greatest physical shape, but I'm healthy enough to jog a few blocks without getting out of breath or all sweaty. I'm not sure why that's so strange.
Actually I was riding my bike to the grocery store one time and someone asked if I had lost my drivers license. None of your fucking business, but the answer is no. I'm just too poor to buy gas this week.
actual_factual_bear ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:41:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always have to suppress the urge to yell "STOP! THIEF!" when I see somebody running by,,,
Lindur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely sucks that people using physically active means of transportation for anything other than exercise seems to have a negative social stigma attached to it, especially in an age when the health and environmental benefits are much needed.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you answered with something like "dinosaurs" or "sharks" right?
lobehold ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:52:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just bring a sweatband, instantly transform you into a runner even if you're wearing a suit, in which case you're just an eccentric runner.
internetalterego ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:57:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think if you're wearing a suit while running the ideal accessory is not a sweatband, but rather an earpiece - people think you're a secret agent.
twoplasticforks ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:15:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I skip. It faster than walking and seems more cheerful and whimsical, but comes with the downside of making me look about twelve.
Kalashnikov124 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:21:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the first grade I didn't know how to skip and in class one day we played a game that required skipping around the room. So I just jumped sideways around the room.
estvik ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:27:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same problem. My home is like 8km/5mi from the city centre where all the bars are. Once I ran home all the way (because taxi is expensive and we don't have nightbuses, cool way to sober up too). I got stopped by a police and some people who were on my way were kind of scared.
Urban_Viking ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:37:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah unless your wearing "Workout gear" whatever that means, its not acceptable to run anywhere unless your a kid.
felixfelix ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:09:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I only pinched the barmaid!"
Now I'm running away because that was inappropriate and disrespectful towards her.
moontime87 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:39:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There were no barmaids, when I said pub I mean a mates garage, and when I say pub, I mean smoking hash
felixfelix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A riddle wrapped in a pardox inside an enigma. I like you!
Brohemian-fapsody88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:43:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to my brother. He was late meeting me one night because he was running to catch the bus and the police stopped him and wouldn't let him carry on for a good half hour, looked up his info and everything. I mean, I get that it can look suspicious, but sometimes people just run..
eatdipupu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this exact thing on multiple occasions, was also stopped once. That might have been cause I ran out in front of a police car though...
84m81n0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What color was your shirt that day?
moontime87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea, probably black with blue jeans and white sneakers...maybe a hoody idk was a while back
jimjimmyjames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sounds right
SnowedOutMT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ran from where I was living to the bar one night and my mom happened to drive by and see me hauling ass down the street. Later she told me that she thought I was just really excited to get to the bar and start drinking when all that I was really doing was saving time
ADDeviant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running suspiciously, eh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similar for me. As a small woman, I was once running home from the bus (there really weren't many people out that day), but two people ended up seeing me and stopping and asking if I was attacked or something.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Fahrenheit 451, the police stop the main character because he is out for a walk. Now if you spend cash, people think you're shady. If the police catch you with more than a few hundred, they will assume crime is involved and without trial can seize your funds, and you may never get it back.
im_a_moose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you live in the U.S. and are black then this isn't too surprising.
MamaTR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Run home semi drunk from bars all the time when I leave alone. It gets me home quicker, sobers be up (at least the adrenaline makes me feel more sober) and I work off a few beers.
atombomb1945 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I wanted to run everywhere. My Dad told me to quit doing it in malls and stores because someone would think I was a thief.
iLoveLamp83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found the black guy
Love_asweetbooty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the black guy
NTARelix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once went a maternity store with the intention of emptying my extremely full bladder and couldn't find a men's bathroom. Ended up running back to my car in the parking lot, driving a 1/4 mile to another store (responsibly but with haste). 2 police cars pull up right behind me as I find a parking spot. My friends were in the car. The cops thought we had stolen something from the maternity store because apparently kids had been known for stealing diapers from that store. Had to sit in my car for what felt like another 10 minutes waiting for them to check out our IDs. Finally made it to the store and relieved myself.
Fullest my bladder has ever been.
cosmicexplorer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've done the same exact thing, with similar results. However, the police actually thought someone was chasing me. Slightly buzzed, I ran in place while assuring them that no, I was perfectly safe, no one was following me, I lived nearby, and I just enjoyed running.
iamsnoboarderx113 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha I was running to help me get in shape and I was doing the whole run so far then walk so far routine and I happened to be right at the end of a walk part and just start running as a police officer is going to pass me in the street I was running alongside. The bastard pulled me over and got right out of his car, asked why I was running, I started laughing and said because Im fat and want to get into shape. He kind of stood there for a second then I explained to him that Im exercising and he apologized and got back in his cruiser and drove away. I wanted to be mad but just couldn't, the timing was just perfect.
FXOAuRora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't doubt this story at all. I was also approached by police after a nighttime jog. Cop kept reiterating how "most people don't excercise at night".
cream-of-cow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once ran through a rural part of South Carolina and someone called the cops on me; other drivers kept asking if I needed help.
punditsquare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what bicycles are for.
raw0ats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also ran home from a bar once, fell on my face and broke my two front teeth in half. 0/10 would not do again.
kickingpplisfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not only did I get rubbernecking police officers, but a drunk patron yelled "run forrest run!" last time I ran a couple blocks in the city.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I too ran home from a party at like 3am, after drinking 4 bottles of wine and smoking about 60 cigarettes.
I got home and thought I was going to have a heart attack, 5 miles running flat out and I hadn't ran anywhere in years. 2 hours later my heart had slowed enough for me to breathe normally and I went to bed.
Halfway on the run though I was just thinking "Shit, this must look dodgey as fuck"
Failure_is_imminent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tried this with a head full of acid. Didn't go well.
Cheeseologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... You're black?
Yung__Lean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always do this when I'm piss drunk.
I step of the train when going home from the pub and I just run home with music in my ears. It's euphoric, the night air filling your lungs and the music is so soothing. For some reason I get so energized it feels like I can run forever!
And I always have a smile on my face when doing this. Luckily I haven't met anyone on my way home, that would be really creepy for the other person.
rijmij99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're running around at 11-12 at night chances are you've just robbed someone
moontime87 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:40:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was more like 4am
8_ball ยท 3911 points ยท Posted at 17:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This brings me back to walking again. There is no running speed in which I won't sweat.
SerasVal ยท 2561 points ยท Posted at 17:48:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even walk without sweating (no, I'm not a fat lard, I just sweat a lot)
LegendaryCazaclaw ยท 1721 points ยท Posted at 18:17:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its a curse. I sweat just standing in a line sometimes, people look at me like I'm on drugs or strung out or something.
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 18:26:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That could be a vitamin D deficiency
AprilXIIV ยท 628 points ยท Posted at 18:32:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess /u/Cum_on_doorknob would know all about D deficiencies.
delineated ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Mike, perchance?
AprilXIIV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.
delineated ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh darn, you have the same birthday.
TetrisJenga ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:15:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Let's assume that you know that Mike uses Reddit.
Now take the number of accounts on Reddit, which is around 36,000,000. Divide that number by 365, which gives you 98,630 (we will round that to 100,000). Now we can work out that there was a 1 in 100,000 chance that the person you just replied to was Mike.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats wrong. Birthday probability is fucked up. Look up on wikipedia and you'll see.
TetrisJenga ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:37:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case a specialist will have to take over as my maths skills don't extend past basic multiplication and division.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/theyalmostdidthemath
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying there's a chance?
Words_are_Windy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The chances would be much better that it would be a Mike, just not the Mike the person actually knows.
Jiggahawaiianpunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Mike is a fairly common name, plus the (vast?) majority of Redditors are men, so I'd say there was a slightly better chance of him finding a Mike, tho not necessarily the Mike
BeneGezzWitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh so hard my husband asked if I was peeing
Psylink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, were you?
BeneGezzWitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn near. I was in a fit of that kind of laughter that self perpetuates. I only stopped when I spilled my fizzy water.
LostSoul1797 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn... That burns like his pee.
DeadFetusConsumer ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 00:36:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAAHAH THAT WAS SO FUNNY OMG HAHAAH
agam_vark ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:28:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that truely a thing? Going to take my vitamins tomorrow!
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:40:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a medical student, I can say that I have learned in lecture that the RDA for vit D is pretty low, and people can perhaps benefit from higher levels. However, I can't say that excessive sweating was a clinical feature we were taught to look for. However, I have heard it from non-reputable sources.
tablesix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:40:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In other words, it can't hurt to try. And improvement post Vitamin D supplement may even merit further scientific study.
That's my interpretation at least.
gotbeefpudding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thanks /u/Cum_on_doorknob !!
cubsfan85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg. I recently found out my vitamin D is ridiculously low and months of prescription strength supplements hasn't brought it up. I start sweating if it's above like, 75 degrees. My head and face sweat the worst so I can forget about doing my hair or makeup for 6 months out of the year.
FrankieAK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh! Me too! My husband thinks I'm crazy, but if I don't keep it at like 72 in the house I start sweating profusely. Especially my face! I'm gonna try taking vitamin D supplements.
MuffDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah. I'm gonna look in to this. Thanks.
Skreamie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've seriously helped me a lot.
PvtFobbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or hiperhidrosis. My NCO in the Army has it, he'l could be butt naked in the snow and still have nice beads forming all over his Hotspots and his face.
0Lezz0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait. so, hiding from the sun makes me sweat a lot?
santaliqueur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:56:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or it could be the way his body sweats.
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably, I'm just a med student, I don't know shit. Already regret giving an uninformed opinion. Oh well...
santaliqueur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know about the Vitamin D deficiency thing, but I'm going to assume it's much more common that it's just his natural biology.
If you're a medical student then you know infinitely more than I'll ever know, but because I know nothing, I feel like I can step back and look at it with only logic and nothing else. No offense intended.
noholds ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 20:03:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck me. I hate that. I'm in T-shirt and shorts and everyone else is wearing sweaters and jackets. And I'm the only one sweating.
HappynessMovement ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:01:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! I live in D.C. Seeing all those non-sweaty ass people with their smug, "look at me I can wear a three piece suit in 80 degree heat" looking faces... Jerks.
peesteam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear ya buddy. I HATE dressing up for this exact reason. My office is 68 degrees at all times, and when I have to wear a dress shirt and tie I know it's going to be a long day. Wish I could wear shorts to the office.
SlothBucket ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:39:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/hyperhidrosis
LegendaryCazaclaw ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:56:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow thanks for the link, I had no idea it was that common.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:10:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been putting off going to see a doctor about this forever. But it's getting to the point where it seems I can't do anything without breaking a sweat - sometimes it doesn't even make any fucking sense. Embarrassing and annoying to the point it degrades my quality of life because I don't want to go anywhere.
Not sure if yours is that bad but hope you can find some help regardless.
Acciovino ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:11:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be like this. I would sweat constantly throughout the day. Not overweight, just a sweaty female. Tried the clinical strength deodorant, didn't work. Getting dressed was such a struggle because I always had to think about whether what I put on would show sweat or not. Got prescribed anti-anxiety medication and it went away like magic! It's weird too because I never realized my sweating had anything to do with anxiety!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:19:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I suffer from social anxiety too. I've had the sweat problem my whole life so I don't think it's directly related but one certainly spurs on the other. Not a good combo as my face can go from desert to waterfall in like a minute.
Acciovino ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:55:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know exactly what you mean. And then you get trapped in this positive feedback loop where the more you sweat the more self-conscious you feel, which causes you to sweat more. I hope you find something that helps!
ThePooSlidesRightOut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, hi there
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Findnance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently just got prescribed some medicine for my sweating problem. I've been researching for months and have tried everything. Look up Robinul or glycopyrollate. It changed everything
Acciovino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just Zoloft. My pharmacy substitutes the generic which is Sertraline HCL. In my eyes it's a miracle drug.
peesteam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's ironic because sweating caused my anxiety, which in turn caused me to sweat more, which gave me more anxiety.
Since then I've discovered Certain Dri and it solved both problems for the most part.
fitzjack ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wear light colored shirts because of how much I sweat. I have to keep deodorant with me at all times because I'm a hairy guy and I'll get funky quick if I don't apply it regularly during the day.
folderol ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:13:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One trick is to wear an undershirt but then the problem is that the extra layer adds heat. I always preferred the extra hit to totally and obviously soaking a shirt.
fitzjack ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:17:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat so much worse with the undershirt. I'll end up soaking both shirts at that point.
tha_dank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
have you ever trimmed your pit hair? You don't have to shave it, just trim it with scissors. I've heard that helps.
fitzjack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it didn't help. My body hair is just really thick so it never helps.
I actually have to shave my back to keep down on acne. But anywhere else sweats ten times worse if I shave it.
tha_dank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bummer.
fitzjack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, major bummer.
ImMufasa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
A couple months ago my doctor gave me something called terazosin. It's not specifically made for sweating but it's definitely helped a lot. I still sweat when active, but the threshold for when it starts is much higher now so no more sweating when just standing in line at a store.
SlothBucket ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:14:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ive been meaning to see a doc for a while. I do wedding videography which is very physically demanding and I sweat buckets. Sometimes Ill be just standing still and start to sweat. I started calling around yesterday to see if any local derms have treated it
They-Died-In-The-War ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can get botox injections to paralyze the sweat glands that are most troublesome.
Downvotesturnmeonbby ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:14:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God I hate that. Try moving somewhere arid if you can. I'm the guy that sweats at 78F in Virginia. But in the California desert at 100F, I was cool and dry, while everyone else complained that they're hot.
SerasVal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm the same way. Hot and dry, no problem. Hot and humid (I live in NC) terrible problem.
peesteam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You got that right. I spent some time in Afghanistan and it was great. Never sweaty at all.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I don't sweat fuck loads is when I AM on drugs or alcohol.
pyroSeven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then we should be constantly drugged and drunk.
Mr_get_the_cream ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:14:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pooping right now and I'm sweating.
Dujave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brother!
Enigmaze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It truly is. Hyperhidrosis + swamp ass is horrible man
Nazeebo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm a-walkin', I strut my stuff, and I'm so strung out. I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out...
GiveMeLight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat sitting down. Behind the knees if they're bent. It's just nasty.
Sinnocent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:30:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have anxiety & panic disorders and have this happen too. It sucks.
Mr_Krabs_Left_Nut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hyperhydrosis represent?
tha_dank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it probably also has a lot to do with the environment you live in. I live in SE texas and it's essentially the goddamn amazon jungle (and i SWEAT), but when I go to Colorado I'm usually pretty dry (as far as standing around sweating)
ymmurri227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got full strip searched and X-Rayed at the airport for sweating. They though I was nervous or something.
Dandubyuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can sweat while standing shirtless in a snowstorm. It sucks.
Kazeazen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too sweat a lot, I sweat when I'm just standing up, sitting down, even walking around. I wish there was a way to make me stop sweating so much.
slizzard_lizzard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right?! I don't even have to be hot to be sweating! Especially my armpits and lower back :(
Kvothe24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try being a drummer with this problem. I'm straight up drenched after playing a show. Far more than a normal drummer should be.
haloryder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad to hear that my almost constant sweating isn't weird, and that other people have the same problem.
saab121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't work out without people thinking I'm on steroids (not muscley at all) but my body temp shoots through the roof at any sign of physical exertion and I sweat like a bitch
Pulse207 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend, the star of our cross country team, sweats more during an evening of video games than on a 5 mile run. It always catches the rest of us off guard. We're all having a great time playing zombies or whatever, then you glance over and it's just pouring off of him
EinsteinDisguised ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Florida. It's summer. It's hot as balls.
When I get in my car, my car is hot as balls. Therefore, I sweat in my car. I hate it.
the_eric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat and am super shaky, so I always look like I just robbed a bank.
PlatinumGoat75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I'm sweating just sitting here at my computer.
Though...it might be relevant to mention that my air conditioner isn't working.
wardenofthethread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, no matter how much deodorant I wear, i always ALWAYS have pit stains.
I've felt pit sweat drippin' in the dead of winter.
AppleDane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Airport security lines...
Cacospectamania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the best is when someone asks you, "why are you sweating?"
Jibjumper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 6'1" 145lbs. I'm always sweaty. It pisses me off to no end. Especially my clammy hands. I constantly wash them because I hate them feeling like that.
AtheosWrath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always sweat of more than 22ยฐ C.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE
TheTynosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It feels good to know I'm not the only one. I can't get across a parking lot to my car without sweating here in Georgia during the summer
McKRAKK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having grown up in the high desert of northern Utah, and moved to the Deep South with all the humidity, I sweat buckets just sitting in a chair on the porch. More so than the "native southerners". At work, everyone thinks I'm on the verge of a heat stroke because of my sweating, since profuse sweating is supposedly a sure sign dehydration/heat exhaustion/stroke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just sweat sitting in class sometimes but then other times when I've been outside doing tennis or something for two hours I hardly sweat at all.
CallMePhteven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like that too. Diagnosed primary hyperhidrosis targeted in the face/head.
Jon_Cake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that too! But usually because I'm strung out on drugs
degistered_remocrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am on drugs and strung out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this for some reason too, like if I'm in a line at the cash register and there are other people, I will just sweat like I'm running a marathon. I don't know why
g18suppressed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe stop shooting meth while standing in line?
handmemybriefcase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat when I'm cold.
peesteam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to break a sweat when I worked for the ice company...in the freezer.
JesusChronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is a curse. If my body temperature rises past a certain degree, I just sweat, no matter what. It could be the dead of winter, but if my coat is too warm, I'll sweat. Holding hands with girls makes my hands sweat. It sucks.
ShadowOfNothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should get your thyroid checked. That's how I found out I had thyroid disease.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting out of bed causes me to start sweating, if I wasn't already sweating if that is. Is there a sub for sweaty people?
Los_Accidentes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's nice to know there are others. I can even sweat when I'm cold. WTF Mate?!
NotJawadTuran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same! People do this to me all the time and I just think, Stop looking at me you stupid unicorn.
johnbutler896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same unfortunately :(
theOTHERdimension ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here! I'm also female, so people think it's extra weird because "girls don't sweat" I've actually had someone tell me that ):
Weaponized_Octopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's over 78 degrees (25.5C) I'm sweating no matter what I do.
AngryJawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit!!! Me to! I was in this line and it was hot and sunny outside. I was getting sweaty back and I wasn't wearing underwear (big mistake) and I started getting sweaty lower crack/taint area.
This line was for a shower though.... And I definitely did lots of drugs n drinking the night before.
That shower helped me though.
Definitelynot_a_duck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a question from another sweaty person, which brand of deodorant do you use?
pyroSeven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trying being able to sweat easily AND leaving in a tropical country AND wearing a suit.
I DO NOT DESERVE THIS HELL! WHY GOD WHY??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a slightly larger guy, which obviously means I sweat slightly more than others but I'm not unfit. .
But fuck me, if I even get ever so slightly warmer than room temperature the amount of sweat I give off could drown a small child
Tvix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to buy and try on clothes is like the bane of my existence. I went to buy a suit the other week. Went for the spare t-shirt I had in my car half way through because of it.
Alidooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat just sitting at my desk at any heat above freezing cold. I am not well suited to warm climates...
that_line_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cant even wear grey :(
spongebob_meth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:21:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heat index was 110 today where I live. I don't think anyone can even sit still and not sweat.
Torquelewith12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't matter who you are, where I live, EVERYONE sweats outside. It's hot in Texas
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps you are in good shape?
People who exercise regularly are more efficient sweaters and sweat with less physical activity.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in terrible shape until a few months ago when I started running (software developer and a computer science student, so I spend tons of time sitting at computers). Now that I'm in better shape I actually sweat less easily, but still a lot.
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat buckets when sedentary. There's no hope, sucks donkey balls when I have to do anything with my hands.
My guitar strings will literally rust within a short period of time if I don't lube them up with Vaseline or something before putting my clammy palms on them.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, that's way worse than me, I just get swamp ass when I'm sitting around.
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's mostly my hands and feet to be honest, and the typical underarms. Those sweat excessively, but everywhere else is relatively normal - which is unfortunate, because I'd much prefer chafing to having to wipe my controller/mouse off every few minutes.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me its mostly my armpits and ass, everywhere if I'm actually exercising.
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That has to suck. I mean, you can't really just shove some baby powder in your asscrack...
8_ball ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither, actually in really good shape.
Lightweight business attire goes a long way but here in Florida you just have to get used to it I guess. Lots of undershirts and laundry.
oxideseven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same?!
Same!
Yeah I sweat a lot :(
I live in Florida now too, so you even think of the outside and you turn into a puddle.
Peteriffic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These people must have never visited the south
The_Number_None ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a fat lard and always attributed my easy sweating to it. Now I weigh roughly 15% less and am much more fit but I still sweat easily. It really is a curse.
scsuhockey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The dew point in St. Louis right now is 80ยฐ (26.7ยฐ C). Statues are sweating.
wannab_phd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
26.7ยฐC? That's not much...
scsuhockey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For temp, no. For dew point, hell yes! That's humid as fuck. Temp was 38ยฐC. Felt like 46ยฐC.
hellrazor862 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case screw it, might as well just run, right?
Boetros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you might as well run ;)
buddhijay88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I sweat tremendously. But since I work out at the gym, I hardly ever do sweat anymore doing less intensive tasks such as walking or jogging. Even in 30 degrees celcius weather. That's like 90f
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started running a few months ago (up to about 3 miles per run at this point). I find I sweat less easily, but still sweat a lot. Its humidity that does it to me, even if its like 78 degrees (like it usually is in my house) I'll have swamp ass going on just sitting at my computer lol.
Naf7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Theres no running.
MonsterBlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible to both be "not fat" and "not have cardio".
Being thin doesn't mean you magically have better at cardio, it only means you aren't doing cardio with an excess 200 pounds on you.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started running a few months ago and while I do sweat less easily, I still sweat more than most people. I just got done running 4.5 miles about 45 minutes ago so, I have cardio. I was doing it with excess of 200 pounds until last week, down to 198, but I'm also 6'2" so its not such a heavy weight for me. I just sweat very easily, even if I'm just sitting on my computer.
FeverishPuddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see myself as a fat lard (others don't, so take that as you will)
and I sweat a ton!
I hope when I lose weight I stop, but I don't think I will.....
makes it hard to enjoy the outdoors on really hot and sunny days
alpaccattack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not fat but sweat a lot too. I have learned to adapt.. Dark shirts. Baby powder on my man-jewels. Gold bond powder in between toes. Everyday. Feel fresh all day.
ficarra1002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat while sedentary if the temperature is higher than 75f. I hate it so much.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's about where my breaking point is if there is any kind of humidity in the air. I love cold temperatures though lol.
hyper_sloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My back sticks to leather seats regardless of the activity or weather. People who don't sweat every second will never understand
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol yeah mine too
Pyistazty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bosnian? I have a Bosnian friend who will sweat in nothing but boxers in 30F weather.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from the united states, but my heritage is: 25% swedish, 25% norwegian, 25% english, 12.5% irish, 12.5% scottish. So genetically I come from colder places.
tendeuchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living in the tropics, now during the summer, I can't even sit here at the computer without sweating.
Lil_Richard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay tubby, just sit down already
brightneonmoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
during summer I can't sit without sweating. also, not a fat lard either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat during warm-up stuff sometimes and I hate when people remark on it like I'm out of shape. No, I just sweat a lot.
BillyTalentfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even have to be exercising to sweat. I could be sitting down and my hands and feet sweat.
Basscrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even breathe without sweating.
crashtacktom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in London the other day, on the hottest day since records began or something like that. The financial district is all glass and steel, so it gets hot quite quickly at ground level. I moved 2 boxes of glasses from afunction we had, and I was drowning in sweat.
Girl I'm majorly crushing on comes up: "Oh, have you been for a run? In this weather?"
Me: "Urr... Yes?"
It was worse than that scene in Airplane!
Tommy2255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read somewhere (and you shouldn't take my word on this, I'm just some random asshole on the internet) that when you first start getting into shape your body actually starts sweating more easily because it anticipates greater exertion.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started running about 2 months ago. I actually sweat less now that I'm in pretty good shape, but still more than most people.
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If its moderately warm out, I can't stand perfectly still and not sweat
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I hear you on that one lol
magicpostit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, the 85 degree 80% humidity we've been having lately don't help either. I commute on a bicycle and I have to bring a change of clothes and show up 15 minutes early to work so I don't look like a mess everyday.
Hashashiyyin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. I'm a highly active person and am in great shape but if I run or exercise for a short time I start sweating everywhere. It's weird because I don't sweat heavily during the day or even when it's hot out.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat sitting still if it's even a little warm (like 75 F) and even a little humid lol.
seedari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
triggered
toastymow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even skinny people under a hot hot sun will sweat. :D
awesomemanftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
same here, except where I live its just plain hot as fuck
Zoronii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Today I was sweating, and I was just sitting down. Summer's fuckin hot yo.
improbabletruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently sweating while sitting on the couch. Yay summer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least you don't smell bad, my BO doesn't take long to kick in lol
TanBurn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Texas. Just standing outside cant get the old glands going. Of course, everyone here just accepts it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes when I'm at work (and it's winter) the heater doesn't work and it's really cold, my body is like here, have some sweat.
LordNexeS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I'm a fat lard and I don't sweat a lot. I'll trade you
peesteam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LPT: Certain Dri
ASK_ABOUT_MY_WIENER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Texas, standing still makes me sweat
cheddarfever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweating is healthy! It helps regulate your body temperature and flushes out toxins. Just think of yourself as being an extra-efficient system.
meandyourmom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you meant to say "I'm a guy"
BlindGuardian117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in AZ. Stand outside and you will sweat.
Wrong_tree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My body is so used to going to the gym for physical activity that whenever I move faster than normal my body responds like, "work out time? YEAH BEAST MODE." And I'm just like "Noooo body! These are normal stairs not the stepper!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you might have hyper hydrosis. I have it and I get so fลซcking hot so easily why did autocucumber do that the fucking price of shit
complexrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, 5ft9 125 pounds Mr sweatalot here
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where you live matters a lot. You won't sweat on the pacific northwest coast.
folderol ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can definitely sweat out there. I can easily sweat at 50F.
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:22:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remember in high-school, after gym, you had to go to your next class and sit in a chair? Did you ever try to get to class a little early, so you could find that special chair that didn't show the giant ass sweat stain that would inevitably be revealed at the end of class when you stood up? Good times.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You will ALWAYS sweat in Florida though :/
Seth711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you'll stay all sweaty too thanks to how god damn humid it is all the time.
lady__of__machinery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vancouver here. What are these lies?
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:33:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to go to Vancouver one day
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I live in NC, its the humidity that screws me over. I'm fine if its hot and dry.
howtospellorange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from the PNW. I still sweat a lot when I walk every day.
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, obviously it was hyperbolic statement, but regardless, I did say "coast." And Puget sound doesn't count.
The_Other_Manning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See I use to be a fat lard. Now I'm a slightly overweight but much more athletic lard. I still sweat just as much as I use to 80 pounds ago. Da fuck...
Lord_Of_The_Tants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worst. Superpower. Ever.
Garbaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite here.
I once played badminton for 5 hours straight and didn't even have a single stain on my shirt (I don't wear any special sports clothing. Just a regular cotton t-shirt). I sometimes get told some annoying comments sometimes when I leave after hours of sport without changing.
In case somebody is wondering, I'm 17; Well past puberty.
DinoRaawr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the same! I'm from the southwest. It's 110ยฐ out during the day, and I love the heat. I can run all day in a t-shirt and jeans, but I never sweat. It's odd.
the_omega99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes me jealous. I can work up a sweat just cleaning a room or doing the dishes, most of the time. And my university has some buildings that are way too hot in the winter, so I end up having to take my glasses off because I'm sweating so much.
And when I played badminton at your age, my hair would be soaking wet after a single game.
SlothBucket ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/hyperhidrosis
cock-a-doodle-doo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:04:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you consider yourself fit? Fitness has as much to do with sweating as weight.
SerasVal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I started running a few months ago, ran 4.5 miles last night. I actually sweat less now that I'm in better shape, but I still sweat very easily.
cock-a-doodle-doo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:43:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. As you get fitter and fitter you should find that begin to tail away (as you are beginning to find already).
PM_Me_Your_Generals ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:43:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweaters unite!
estvik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jackets unite!
PM_Me_Your_Generals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's insensitivity like this that makes sweaters shy about sharing their issues :(
Aetheer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:09:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I go from zero to moist in under 30 seconds.
H00T3RV1LL3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat sitting sometimes.
8_ball ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here I am, sitting at my desk, and sweating. The afternoon sun just cooks my building and the ac never keeps up.
H00T3RV1LL3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my room is over the garage. Room will be nice and warm while everywhere else in the house is chilly. Too bad I like a cold room.
TheCarterIII ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:51:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the summer months, there's no sitting speed at which I won't sweat
TheFeshy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:42:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Florida. I sweat when I sit outside :(
8_ball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise. The past week has been rough.
Breimann ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Distance runner of 10 years here.
I sweat bullets during an easy warm up of a half mile.
types_stuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sweat while walking, I'm fucked either way
maxwellsmart3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BAZINGA
fettynofap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How's the Car Bomb fitting business going?
8_ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this some sort of reference? I don't get it.
fettynofap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grand Theft Auto computer game reference. There's a guy called 8 ball I think. Fits bombs into cars.
8_ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thx. Want to buy it, waiting for a sale.
LastPageofGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pour sweat just sitting. Couldn't imagine sprinting everywhere.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen brother
Vinny_Gambini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish there was for me too, but I think the speed is irrelevant, I just can't run for more than a minute or so.
IllinoisInThisBitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
come fuck with el paso. Sitting still you sweat.
lola_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in florida, we sweat even when we walk to the car.
424f42_424f42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know of no one that doesn't sweet afger running (ubkess were talking super short distance). I wabt to see this anomaly (also tell them to be carefull if overheating)
Caneiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I'm from a climate in which it's pretty hot for at least the summer months and you can't sit outside without sweating let alone do some sort of physical activity.
Elvebrilith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
walking?! it brings me back to standing still.
I_chose2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heeey, Minnesota! (well, it's hot now, but meh.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a pregnant woman living in Arizona, I sweat when I turn my head. I'm screwed.
DisITGuy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:54:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bring a change of clothes, and exercise more, get in better shape.
8_ball ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:24:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in great shape. Not a competitive runner but can easily complete 15k runs, recently did a tough mudder, lift twice a week, play soccer once a week, surf occasionally. That is not my problem.
DisITGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's it?
8_ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got really offended for no real reason there and kinda went on a rant. It's not like you had any context for my previous post.
It's crazy how fast a button can get pushed.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:57:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even peel an orange without sweating
Speed_Junkie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*at which
turkeysock ยท 455 points ยท Posted at 17:09:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't know why people make such a big deal of this. If you're in a hurry, run! It's a normal human function.
wombatjuggernaut ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 18:10:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the initial point is it's normal to run even when you're not in a hurry, because, yes, it's a normal human function.
estvik ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:24:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what I meant! Even without the need to hurry I'd like to move faster.
The_Hugh_Jaynus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:32:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love running
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cbaus5 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:05:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend has been dragging me around the mall for hours, I am not walking up the magic stairs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I was always under the impression that they're suppose to make it easier and faster for you to get up the "stairs" Not to give you a free ride.
Just like how airports have moving walkways. Its not for you to stand on. Its to help you walk faster!
radsteez_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! You can't just rename standways willy nilly!
PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't disagree with you on the running side, cumming on a doorknob is a "normal human function," so I'm not sure that's the best reasoning.
Ryelen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:02:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, and it's wonderful. You know what happens? Nothing, MAYBE some strangers who I have never met and will never interact with again think less of me, but I say screw em. I don't need their approval it's my hot body and I do what I want.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ikr? Some redditors baffle me
fruxzak ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:19:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some would say humans are literally built to run
turkeysock ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:06:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Humans are the best species for long distance running as well.
ChicagoToad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Horses? Aren't they better?
IntermolecularForces ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:19:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Humans are the most "efficient" long distance runners he should have said. But I'm being pedantic, yes we are.
ChicagoToad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see, makes sense.
MattManly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:47:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just throwing this out there. It used to be that men in ancient Jewish society didn't run (unless in a dangerous situation etc), because it was considered childish. Western culture may have kept some of that stigma without really knowing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or there's a stigma against getting sweaty and smelly.
turkeysock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting.
bisonburgers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Egads, do people make a big deal of this? I run because I enjoy the energy. I'm that weirdo at work who runs to the bathroom or to the office kitchen and I dance while I wait for my coffee to be done. I know it's not "normal", but no one has ever acted like it was bad.
--LAZER-- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not worried what people will think of me, I just really don't want to run.
ailurophobian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Run like you stole something lol
LOTM42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's saying when you're not in a hurry, that you just run to run between places. Which is very annoying if you're inside
civilizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems the only "acceptable" place is in the airport
turkeysock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a hospital, I would think.
Anon_Logic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People speed in vehicles all the time. But do it on foot... whoa there...
randomchic123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah same goes for me. if I'm in a hurry trying to get from point A to point B, the faster way between walking leisurely and running is obvious. but when I do this, everyone freaks out. I guess they assume something is run if I'm not strolling lazily. welcome to America.
SiTing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My guess: it (possibly) shows a lack of foresight on the part of the runner.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
corgibutt19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OR: Running everywhere is a more efficient manner of traveling on foot, both physically (humans are literally built to jog for long distances) and time-wise and this person who chooses to run everywhere is saving precious minutes that can be used to answer phone calls, send emails, and in other ways organize their life since they're early too or can leave later for an event without being distracted by doing so while walking or letting these tasks pile up.
bimyo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:28:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, running every where is for nerds. It just is. If you can't chill out and watch the world a bit and have to run everywhere than you a have a screw loose or need to join the marines. By the way, Humans were not "literally built" to do anything because humans were not built. It's an ongoing process of selection an evolution etc. Just don't run everywhere like a four year and expect people to think you are someone they want to be around.
muddlet ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:59:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
alternatively: skipping
idontknowiforgot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:05:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love skipping. It is both a fun and an effective way to move quickly. I do it frequently and usually am laughing or smiling big whilst doing so.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What means skipping?
danceycat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping is fun! This is skipping :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the naive girl flower field walk
TheBrownSensei ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:15:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So like a video game?
lokadarr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:03:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I run I pretend I'm in a video game. It makes it more fun somehow
Llim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone does this
CaptainSmak ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:23:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait im always jogging/running place to place, this isn't normal?
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:51:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes it acceptable is your attire. Running your errands in workout clothes? Provided you're not running a store it's normal. Heading home from work in your jeans and t-shirt? That's where people start to think you're weird.
estvik ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the problem in my opinion.
CaptainSmak ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:04:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I always casually run place to place in jeans and a tee, never thought anything of it. I'm just too impatient to walk sometimes.
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:14:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do it too, if I've got the energy might as well run. I don't go to the gym or anything like that and that's the most convenient way to exercise.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, just get a bike.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:43:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is kind of weird tbo
TheseMenArePrawns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's heavily regional. I've been stopped for just walking too far in some towns, others you pretty much take it as a given that people are going to be running for whatever reason. I think public transportation factors in a lot as well. People running to catch the rail normalize it a bit.
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:25:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Run at the speed that I'm not going to sweat." I think that would be standing still for me
megacookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if it's freezing cold outside you could be sprinting through the snow completely naked right?
Cum_on_doorknob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish, I live really close to the equator. But I like naked!
megacookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cold is overrated. The temperature itself is not so bad where I live but factoring in wind it chills right through any porous clothing and makes you want to tear your face off and burn it to stay warm. It's better in the summer to be further from the equator though, 25ยฐC warm and not insanely humid is pretty much perfect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm near the equator and I still like cold.
megacookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My general rule of thumb is as long as the temperature/weather doesn't physically hurt it's not too bad. People like cold, nobody likes frostbite, for example.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:49:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory 'Run Forrest Run!'
There's always someone.
Tattered_Colours ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:15:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they always think they're absolutely hilarious.
RatchetMoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always
cdawgtv2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just yell "Sit, fatass, sit!"
TediousGlaswegian ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know what's more efficient than running? Skipping like a little girl. Ever tried to skip 1 mile? 2? I have. It's hard work but I think it's more effective.
Sacamato ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:52:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's not more efficient than running, but it is more fun!
CivilNassar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can never get my skipping pace right. I've been perfecting bounce-running, however, which is exactly what it sounds like. It's where you jump a little with each stride. I feel that it's just as efficient as skipping.
estvik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree with you. I haven't tried long distances, but I think it would be a nice way to move around.
not_an_evil_overlord ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:05:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just always wear workout clothes
ptb4life ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:01:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People poke fun at me at work because I'm always running. Leaving the office, you bet I'm running to my car
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No way ๐
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A walk it is for me.
FrancisKey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude that was my life until I moved to a place without humidity.
I originally lived in the swamps of DC, the moved to sunny SD.
I could run for a mile in San Diego and barely show a drop. The same temperature would have me drenched before I walked to the end of the street in DC. Dry heat, it was fantastic.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If moving was an option for me i would.
Thatseemsright ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:41:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but I would laugh if I saw that.
Actually I'm not sorry.
GetOutOfBox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where the hell is it socially unacceptable to run in public to get to places? I can't believe that this isn't bullshit.
At most, people might smirk a little at your plight because they're dicks, but I don't even spare a thought to the guy running by me on his way to work, and having been that guy have never noticed anyone paying any attention to me.
dohaqatar7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After running track and XC, not running seems like such a waste of time. I get there twice as fast as walking and I'm not even winded.
Raduoffthemicpls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're going at a speed that isn't going to make you sweat eventually, you aren't running.
Ecdysozoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If i have to do something i have no problem running/jogging to handle something, mission focused!
ecorich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you should try skipping in public. Far more efficient and quick. Also very socially unacceptable.
SKSmokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this works for some people. I'm in a normal weight range, run 25 miles a week and there is absolutely no speed that I can "run at" for any length of time and not at least be sweating up my shirt.
recyclopath_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recently realized when I'm alone I jog, bounce and run everywhere. I get places much faster and its good for my legs but I've been doing it subconsciously for years.
mithradates7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I run around NYC now instead of using the subway, it takes longer but it doesn't really bother me. It's kind of funny how people will stare at you as you jog/run around the blocks.
BubbaBeWorkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this in my teens. I would regularly run in the mall when I was in a hurry. I hated just running, but running to get somewhere was fun.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If we could all do this, and hadn't stopped when we were younger because it wasn't cool or whatever, society would be better off.
tiger-lilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know this was socially unacceptable at all. I'm a fast walker but that's because I'm traumatized from being a child of a tall woman telling me to keep up or I'm being left behind. She even drove off while I was half way in the car and I was thrown out and she laughed. I was 6.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise I've heard people get made fun of at work for stepping away from their desks and dropping for 20 pushups or 20 squats. What's so weird about that? It's good for you to do every so often.
kidkrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're that kid in middle school who ran to lunch everyday huh?
bagewenell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you get a bike can go even faster with even less effort
LuxArdens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love to run everywhere, but I hate the constant stares I get from people.
"No I'm not in a hurry. Yes, this backpack and its contents are mine. I just like going faster than a pathetic 6 km/h"
Chronic_Messiah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Millions of people practice getting better at running every day. But yet you'll get looked at weird if you run to utilize time. If I'm going to run every day to get better at running, I should be allowed to run when I need to run!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone assumes that you're attempting to escape a natural disaster or a maniac.
Rayne37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you there. I'm one of the younger people in my office and I tend to bound up stairs because why the fuck not. Every time somebody sees me do it, I get a comment to slow down, or ask me why I'm in a rush. Psh I'm sorry after sitting 8 hours a day I have energy to burn.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would make my life so much easier. If a grown ass woman were allowed to sprint with impunity, I'd never miss a bus again.
mildlyrightguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man...back in college there was this kid who ran EVERYWHERE. When he got outside of a building, he'd tuck his violin under one arm, his laptop under another, head down, and just take off. Quite the sight.
G420classified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't sweat relative to speed I sweat relative to time*speed
jeanroyall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! sometimes i get so impatient walking that I just start running. Problem is I tend to get really hot and start sweating very easily so I have to be careful with it.
scrappydooooo117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU! Tell that to the old lady working at the convention center.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still think this is totally not okay.
The only people I see running in public are these horribly cringey people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since I've started to get in shape, I do this all the time. I run across the street so I don't keep cars waiting (after I've stopped and made sure no one's going to run into me) as a rule, but I've also run home after picking up take out, or to go pick my son up from something. Usually only do it if I'm in a little bit of a hurry, otherwise I don't bother, but I enjoy it. I live in a place that doesn't get very hot though (72F high today), so that helps with the sweating. I basically don't worry about it, whatever my speed.
Jov_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In this age of high simulation and low attention spans, I run between places sometimes simply because to not do so is just fucking slow and boring.
lizzwashere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh man! Sometime in college I had this epiphany while playing video games (I think it was Ocarina of Time): I can get to class WAY faster if I just jog. I mean, if I walk places in video games, I get super frustrated by how slow I'm going and always default to running. Who the hell walks anywhere in video games - NO ONE. Why is this any different in the real world? So I said fuck it.
10 years later and I'm still running places. Not all the time, and not generally with people (unless I've been drinking - believe it or not you can pretty easily convince anyone that's been drinking that it's cool to "just jog there"). So much time saved!
PS - I'm ok with getting a little sweaty.
Abomm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there is no around you, why would anyone care. The problem is that if everyone does it, crowded or semi-crowded places become a mess.
shandow0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait.... this is socially unacceptable?
si828 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! so true, I always feel like an absolute douchecanoe when I run in public. Usually when I'm drunk I don't care and I just run everywhere.
brilliantlyInsane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this. I want to get where I need to be. If I don't slam into you, what's the problem?
wombat1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is very difficult to do this in my city. The crowds dawdle on the footpath, and freaking nobody keeps left!
Calidude7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was this dude in high school who used to run to all his classes. He would even run when he would arrive to school as well as when he was leaving school.
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or try skipping, as long as you can pull it off.
moriero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What speed is that?
trentblase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this, but only when I'm drunk. Like "ok, I'm heading home from the bar, I could wait for the bus or... fuck it I'll just run there" (where I live, running is usually faster than the bus)
Woot4444444444444444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to skip personally
Jackstripper01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must not live in Arizona. You sweat while doing absolutely nothing.
Hexagram195 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only guy I knew who ran everywhere would wear a suit jacket and fingerless gloves.
I miss him
cheezstiksuppository ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would have to move backwards in time because I will sweat standing still
urmotherismylover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a former lifeguard, every time I see someone running in public, my asshole involuntarily clenches.
MrBookX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to walk 4+ miles to work every day. I had to leave the house around 3:30 am. When I told coworkers this they seemed amazed, which is weird because our job entailed being on our feet for 8-9 hours at a time. I used a pedometer once and found that at work I walked around about 10 miles per day.
kaydub88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Florida. I didn't know this was a thing.
Deako87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I do this now. I now leap up stairs two steps at a time and if it looks like I'm going to miss a set of traffic lights (Happens alot in the city) Ill sprint to make it.
So much more efficient.
cptstupendous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if people actually find this socially unacceptable. I do it anyway, in any case.
SpecialCake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Florida. When outside during the summer, there is no heart rate that will not result in sweating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live, even walking will make you sweat. Running would make you drenched in sweat.
Ventorpoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a mentally handicapped person at my high school which did this. He ran from class to class or where ever he was going. However, I saw on more than a few occasions, him run into someone else and I think that's why the public doesn't really approve of it. It may get YOU there faster but it's too high risk for those around you.
Bennyboy1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this when around the house, especially yard work, so much faster to get around places, people always give me an odd look though.
GodspeedYouBastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, we do it all the time in videogames if you want to get to the next town or objective quicker, right? I wouldn't mind a quick sprint to get somewhere in half the time. Sweating would be a bitch, though.
lorlorlor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, I always think of how in GTA I'll smash that run button like it's your mother but then in real life I somehow pretend to not care about getting to places as quickly as possible
advicemallard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping is even more efficient!
marcm6246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I second this. But there's always that one asshole who always goes "Run Forest! Run!".
AssassinenMuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, walking from A to B isnt about the journey, its about getting places!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've clearly never lived in Florida.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Protip: If you are black in the US never run in public. [source: I'm black]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Me too!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Sting said "a gentleman will walk, but never run".
heimdahl81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The other night I was heading to work and realized I forgot my phone, so I ran back home to grab it. A black guy across the street said to the girl he was with "look at that white boy running". I had a hard time running and laughing after that.
JayReddt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the only one! Seriously... I don't know if I just have a lot of energy, but I could jog everywhere. Sometimes I wonder if it'll change as I get older but I want to run all the time at 28.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, running in public is socially unacceptable? Since when?
NotoriousRetard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can already tell who you were in highschool
InquisitiveLion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the exact reason I got a bike on campus, plus, running with a backpack sucks... Going faster plus not sweating is a huge bonus.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or like we do in NYC, the run-walk
rockaeroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck? where is running socially unacceptable? :P
CodeJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping. So efficient, so looked down upon until you're 5.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's literally painful for me to slow down when walking with slow walkers. I'm a fast walker. I have to put in significant conscious effort to walk slowly. Half the time I walk so quickly that I just spontaneously break out into a jog.
chictyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Catching a bus always makes me feel like I'm stealing my own wallet or phone that I have in my hand because they making running more difficult while in tight jeans.
[deleted] ยท 5091 points ยท Posted at 14:12:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence.
People always try and fill the silence, just shut up, it is fine. I seriously don't care if we are sitting in "awkward silence" for twenty minutes, it isn't awkward to me at all.
Irememberedmypw ยท 3795 points ยท Posted at 14:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the staring. You may need to work on that.
friday6700 ยท 2631 points ยท Posted at 15:59:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've found a sensual dance helps break the tension.
ichegoya ยท 1485 points ยท Posted at 16:55:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, eye-contact, sensual dancing in complete silence?
writes notes
got it.
friday6700 ยท 323 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to take your pants off too so it won't be weird.
poodles_and_oodles ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:45:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing on some crunchy snacks with your mouth open adds to the effect
friday6700 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:49:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's just fucking gross.
Weirdo.
stmk ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:05:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's where we draw the line? I mean it's not the sensual pantless dancing, it's the chewing with your mouth open that got you. Actually on second thought you're making some sense. LET THE DANCING BEGIN.
friday6700 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:35:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, we're not savages.
stmk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:37:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No we are not ser, we are the best damn pantless sensual dancers in the world.
general_tictac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This whole fucking thread made me laugh. Time for some pantsless sensuality .
stmk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its all in the hips.
Kfrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where's a watercolor when we need it.
Inkeyis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:09:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure to caw like a bird. If a bird hears you and lands on your shoulder, you get massive cool points
Yes_Maybe_No ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:47:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You also need to dim the lights.
0Lezz0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and proceed to "adjust" yourself.
Dzhocef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And socks, so people know you're comfortable.
omar1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Occasional mouth-to-mouth contact with the other person is also considered well-mannered.
Nitrosium ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put an empty water bottle on your dick if you want a kiss.
DoctorGirby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put the notes in your ass cuz you'll need them for prison
ichegoya ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:20:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol wut.
thisxisxlife ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:07:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying it on this girl I'm hanging out with tonight.
Edit: my mom did not seem impressed
Girfgin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Throwing on some tunes helps. I would recommend Kygo's remix of Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing.
Slipperydibble ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think buffalo bill dancing to "Goodbye Horses"
DavidlikesPeace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a movie demonstration too :D
Crazy_Comparison ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try this
http://media.giphy.com/media/cPxRDvlSj9QKA/giphy.gif
theian01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:14:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your dance should speak for itself
ichegoya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is true.
wonderingtumbleweed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont forget the heavy breathing
_paramedic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can actually be really romantic with your SO. Just dance to the music in your heads.
Jacosion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus unawkwardness if you are naked. Even better if you wear an over the shoulder thong/leotard.
ailurophobian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Go for it buddy I'm sure it'll work out great, just don't forget to give the ol,sweaty handshake or stiff hug at the beginning :D
kemushi_warui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Add a dwarf speaking backwards and you've got a scene from a David Lynch movie.
F4rsight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Use a pen, not pencil.
WhosMarcus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No smiling, either. Neutral face, frown, or grimace only.
ichegoya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would have to either this face or this one.
ztikmaenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Turn Down For What style.
Space_Polan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along with yelling mrmgrlmrgmmrgmlmrlmrmgrlmrgmg louder and louder.
ichegoya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
Space_Polan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to make a meta reference that nobody would remember but you had to ruin it /u/ichegoya, damn you!
Edit. A word.
ichegoya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am shame.
Roninjuh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:52:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Tina
chalaila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thought the exact thing.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you break out the lingerie?
Arffman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how tight it is, presumably.
UsernameNumber6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah it does
whoareyouagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the coffee table โ depending on the routine.
BoomerKeith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hadn't thought about that. So far, whispering into my cupped hand "don't worry, we're almost there" doesn't seem to be working so well.
boobhats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard this in Tina Belcher's voice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a nice, relaxing REEEEEEE
Therealhawkeye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seduction is key.
Time_For_A_Noose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eye contact and lap dance, that's how I do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and my husband must be friends
real_big ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:26:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2 minutes of unbroken eye contact with a complete stranger often leads to friendship.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Catch ya later, alligator!
Synectics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PROLONGED EYE CONTACT. prolonged eye contact!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the heavy breathing.
DownvoteALot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right. Better look away like you have some shyness problem.
TurtleSayuri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just look around the room and relax
LeicaM6guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the constantly bared teeth.
duckmurderer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But she's 36-30-38!
IAmASkientist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more awkward when they close the curtains
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is what a phone is for.
Karl_Marx_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:44:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Germany. It's not considered taboo, and EVERYONE stares.
mbelf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:34:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the undressing...
FartsWhenShePees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The twitching and farting doesn't help either
lazyass_tiger ยท 1104 points ยท Posted at 14:41:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That trying to fill up awkward silence with small talk makes things more awkward.
[deleted] ยท 639 points ยท Posted at 15:03:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone: How about that weather man.
Me: ???
Silence is ok by me.
SuperHotFyer ยท 459 points ยท Posted at 15:18:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So airline food huh? Whats up with that?
anawfullotoffalafel ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 15:52:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, peanuts and salted chips, what are we fucking birds?
MasterofPandas1 ยท 360 points ยท Posted at 16:19:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well we are flying in the sky...
Zubzer0 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:55:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to flying in the land or sea.
internetalterego ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flying in the sea is "swimming". Penguins do it.
Lots42 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:38:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:17:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can't argue with that
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
PreyOnTheCosmos ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:43:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Show 'er to hug hts. Hug 'er to show sht.
Birds.
GODD_JACKSON ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/CAWCAWCAWCAWCAW
Nzxh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are literally sitting in a chair, IN THE SKY!
raginjimmy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:17:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No!! Why would you fuck a bird?!?
Banjones ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:45:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should all realize your comments are the equivalent to internet small talk.
anawfullotoffalafel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was going for. So you come here often?
Wasteland_Mohawk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:18:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. First time actually. Oh, sorry, you were talking to him? Okay.
...
[awkward silence increases]
Banjones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irony doesn't make it not small talk.
To me small talk is a way to take up time and share a semi-pleasant conversation with people. That's what you all were doing. The point of the conversation was understood by everyone, but it was played out anyway.
"So how's the weather."
"Same old same old."
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And did you notice they label the peanut bags "May contain peanuts"?
Well DOI!! Right? Heh heh... man...
Chuchoter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like peanuts and salted chips... :'(
LedaPups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
omg, thank you for that, got me laughing really hard
chbay ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you hear about Pluto? That's messed up, right?
heisenberg_21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, what happened?
HotPikachuSex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:57:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's a dog owned by Goofy, who's also a dog.
serkenz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found Jerry!
pyro5050 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nothing is up with that other than their altitude that it is served! god damn it people!
compelx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... what are your plans for 9/11?
Erotic_Taco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, you'd have to be high to enjoy that stuff
Slickwats4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You hear about Pluto?
ddecoywi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know if it was Ebola or Isis...
Kingcoosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why's it called Ovaltine? It's not oval. It should be called Roundtine!
SuperHotFyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hush child, we dont ask such questions
turbo_sheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I never know what the deal is with/r/airlinefood
SuperHotFyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god that is not an actual sub reddit
turbo_sheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah, but /r/airplanefood is, which is what I was originally trying to link to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You heard about Pluto? That's messed up
AntHill12790 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
seriously? nobody mentioned squirrel jokes? that was the only acceptable path to go down after airline food.
Charliek4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit Jerry
rmoss20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's airline food; it's supposed to be up.
ThatZBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know those little bags of oyster crackers they give you with soup? Aha! What a trip!
CallMeNiel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In defense of the weather-based small talk: it's a part of your daily experience that is universally shared, different from day to day, and often impacts several of your decisions and mood throughout the day. It can potentially spark conversations in a variety of directions and each person can have a different perspective, but still generally agree.
I'm no fan of small talk generally, but it's sometimes necessary. When that happens three are worse topics out there than weather, like sports.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guy who has can function without being a tool- "So what do you think of the weather?"
Me- "Haha, yeah! nods head
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:59:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, I always see this on Reddit. Small talk is the bridge you have to cross if you want meaningful conversation.
"How about that weather man?"
"Oh, you know. It's hot, but it could be worse. I've spent some time in the South and it's not so bad up here."
"Oh? What were you doing there?"
"I was in the Army for a little while, and I've traveled in Asia a little bit too."
Then there's a conversation! I could talk about what I did in the Army, what it was like when I was in the South, what Asia was like, if they've traveled, if they have family in the military, where they've lived, what they've done, etc. You can actually build a connection and a relationship off of that. Sitting in silence with someone doesn't help you connect with them- you won't learn who they are and how they became that person. If you want to really be close to someone, you need to start somewhere. Embrace the small talk. It's like panning for gold.
morawanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, but there are plenty of times where I have no desire to connect, and I just want to sit in peace and quiet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The weather man is my father you prick.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I told my mom's boyfriend I hate when people ask about the weather and he got offended because he golfes. Checking the forecast is his life.
moubliepas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they're offering you a weatherman. You should respond, even if only to say no thanks.
Kepgnar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THE WEATHER, I SAID.
HOW ABOUT IT?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually try to talk to them about the silence if I sense they don't feel comfortable with it. It sort of eases them a little and I notice them contemplating what I said next time we hit silence. Mostly they don't hang around after that second silence.
davis98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Xan: "So what's the deal with custody?" Divorce lawyer: "Right? What is the deal with custody?" Xan: Divorce lawyer: "Oh you were serious?"
ChunksOWisdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to say "profit" after you say "???"
ajs427 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I imagine a thought bubble coming out of your head like an NPC from a video game.
No, I'm not high.
frictionqt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YEAH HE HAD SOME NICE PANTS RIGHT?
seedari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he's a jerk.
DiscordianStooge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying you are confused by the concept of weather, or that you simply haven't experienced the recent weather and therefore can't talk about it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I'm fine with silence, but thats an awfully odd response to small talk. It doesn't make things more awkward. unless you're just awkward.
isrly_eder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FORD, bro.
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
easy small talk topics.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good old al roker.
the_person ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just imagine you tilting your head and squinting your eyes and the camera zooms into you face laughtrack
I_Xertz_Tittynopes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My neighbour is a weather man. It's really hard to make small talk with him.
Sipricy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weather.
That stuff that happens outside.
Come on, man.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:12:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think its hilarious when people say things like that. "So how about this rain?"
Like, what am I supposed to say to that. "Yep, that is definitely rain. The earth kind of does that sometimes."
grouphugintheshower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:28:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you hate that? Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
imoses44 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:37:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beautifully put: "if your comment isn't an improvement of the silence, don't talk".
MundaneFacts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or to the conversation in general.
tpdominator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fall too deep into that sometimes though, like with someone I want to talk with. I'll let the silence happen, but then it gets built up in my head that the next thing I say has to be gold since I waited so long to say it.
claryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I think sometimes its situational. There are many times silence is fine with me, but occasionally there are times when I want to talk to someone but have nothing good to say and they aren't really giving me anything and being silent is just as awkward.
Or if I just met someone and want to make a good impression, sitting in silence isn't really selling myself well. Someone called me a bitch to my face after I had had a few encounters with them and they thought "I believed I was too beneath them to talk to them."
yolo-yoshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where have you people been? I have no trouble with keeping conversation ,but sometimes it feels good to put a nice clean pause in the chatter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pulp Fiction anyone?
Jacob_exe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pulp fiction ref anyone lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Small talk is breezing through lots of topics superficially until you find a shared interest/experience you can discuss more deeply.
Hoihe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's rude to do small talk in Denmark!
Unless drinking or fishing
ralwn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The people of Finland are with you on this.
Varicoserally ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:01 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Soooo... Do you like hobbies?"
Sixty-to-Zero ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nah, awkward silences are bad. If you can avoid them it makes time pass longer for people waiting for something or a car ride etc. It's enjoyable. If you shut it down and someone keeps it going again and again when it's obvious that they don't want to then that's just bad reading. Usually you can enjoy a conversation with a stranger and it's actually fun and okay.
like you guys. If I notice you guys are not into it, then I move on and don't force it. Forcing it is the bad part of awkward silences.
Insanedeblade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I'm fine with silence, but no, no it doesn't. There's nothing wrong with greeting a stranger with a little small talk. I like meeting people.
lobotumi ยท 219 points ยท Posted at 15:58:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You woud love it in here. In finland there is no akward silence . We say something if we have to say. if not we dont. Its a social norm here.
Mephistopholees ยท 375 points ยท Posted at 18:50:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"....."
"....."
"....."
"....Russians are coming"
"On it"
"...."
"...."
"Back"
"...."
"...."
lobotumi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:26:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:52:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant. Officially moving to Finland. Won't even have to learn Finnish as I have nothing to say.
Edit: spelling
Lord_Iggy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:59:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear that 'perkele' can be used in most situations.
zoraluigi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:26:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to look that up, so I'll just assume it's something vulgar.
thisguy883 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Underated comment.
toresbe ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 22:21:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two Finnish friends from childhood meet for the first time in over a decade. They decide to go out to catch up, and order two vodkas.
After a few minutes, one guy says "so... how have you been?" - the other looks at him and asks "did you come here to drink or did you come here to talk?"
lobotumi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha sounds familiar
pasta755 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:29:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Damn, I must be Finnish as fuck. If I don't have anything to say, I just watch what's going on around me. It throws people off all the time. Like "Sorry I don't want to fill the air with conversation neither of us wants to have".
fairlyrandom ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:12:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Norwegian/Finnish hybrid here, apparently I've inherited this trait from the Finnish side.
Barteringram ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:23:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Appalachian American here, no fogging clue where I got it.
You know what, it was supposed to be "fucking," but "fogging" has a nice ring to it.
pasta755 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:26:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I would have just assumed it was an Appalachian thing.
fairlyrandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, adds some charm.
Dzhocef ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:31:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's from pre-hermit sexual encounters.
toresbe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We Norwegians do that too.
TheTroglodite ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:13:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How come you guys are so loud on counter strike? Does it just come out online?
xelested ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:44:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finland has mastered the art of shitposting on the internet.
GodsAreTired ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Anyone who goes on Twitch knows "Suomi perkele torilla tavataan"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like how swedes are all super progressive and polite in real life, and then online, they're the biggest troll douchebags around? I've lost count of how many swedish e-sports teams/players have been banned for bad behavior.
order65 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, Allu seems calm as fuck as long he can drink the Red Bulls.
2capp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:20:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone mentions companionable silence I think about the Top Gear episode (s12e03) where James May goes to Finland. They made it humorous to watch him sitting there with someone's grandma or something just hanging out in their living room not speaking but the idea that you don't have to fill a room with talk always appealed to me at a base level.
tittysprinkle9000 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:27:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds so amazing I'm actually upset
thebochman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get crucified for that here in the US. If I don't have anything meaningful to say then I won't say anything.
lobotumi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i always wondered why is that? why try to say something when you dont have anything to say. i can drive with my buddies in the car and listen to the radio and we dont say a thing unless someone remebers something or has something to say.
pragmatistish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know if it is common in other Nordic countries?
Riiuuyoaie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swedes are considered "the Americans" of Nordic with the constant irritating small talk, but I'd guess Norwegians, Danes and Iceland-ians (?) are almost as silent as us.
YeOldeKnockingShoppe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Icelanders*
lobotumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mostly finns i guess
hydrogensonata224 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is Finnish! I absolutely love the fact that neither of us feel the need to fill the silence.
PyromancerVx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, guess it's time for me to become a construction worker.
Purkkaviritys ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:32:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not in Finland, we are mostly quiet until someone brings in alcohol.
Frank2312 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, I'm Finnish... maybe extra Finnish actually since I stay mostly quiet even with alcohol.
(Or I'm just socially inept :( )
Blackwood42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I decided when I was 8 years old I was going to live in Finland one day..everything I hear about it just bolsters that conviction a little more... I really don't mind not taking to people I'm hanging out with, if anything it's just annoying when nobody has anything to say but they persist with small talk just to fill silence..
Purkkaviritys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sure, just try learning some of the language first https://i.imgur.com/QFm6SCE.png
OnceInABluMoon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:32:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God yes. I like my breaks at work to be quiet before I have to go back out and deal with customers. One of my coworkers does not stop talking. She could walk into the break room, see me sitting there and just start talking about her stupid shoe racks or something else that has nothing to do with me. Not even a "hello" or warm up. Straight into whatever pops into her head. She will keep going on forever, even if I don't say anything. It is maddening.
bitch_im_a_lion ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:46:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My family and some friends recently took a small vacation to go to King's Island amusement park. When we went there, we got a nice cabin to stay in .We had a day that we spent "camping" at the cabin as well (really we just hung out outside the cabin, went swimming, or played football in a nearby field) and at the end of that day, we were all sitting around a campfire. At one point everyone stopped talking and was just staring at the flames or looking at the stars. It was such a peaceful and serene moment that lasted for maybe 30 seconds before my aunt pipes up and goes "Wow, awkwaaaaard!" and my uncle said "Shut up and enjoy the moment Nikki"...which sparked an argument that ruined the night before everyone went to sleep. I really want to go back to that place and have one of those moments again.
timetoskedaddle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:43:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it put like "Awkward silence starts when somebody tries to break perfecly normal one."
Riiuuyoaie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a Finn I was expecting this story to be about at least 1 hour of silence, but 30 seconds of silence being something unusual? Note to self: never, ever visit America. I'd go crazy if less than a minute of silence is considered awkward. Finnish campfire etiquette is something like 90% silence, 10% talking.
Karzoth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:03:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin Nikki xD
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:41:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NeoCoN7 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:47:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few years ago I was sitting in silence with a friend at my flat. My fiancรฉ walked in and commented that it was weird.
My friend turned round and said "it's not weird at all, in fact it shows how close we are as friends that we are that we can sit in silence together.".
I was really pleased because it showed that she and I were actually good friends despite me meeting her through my fiancรฉ only a few months before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend and I used to say that all the time.
Same with when we would argue passionately about something.
One time, it was going kind of long and a girl that was with us was like "Whoa, whoa guys, calm down.", and we both just looked at her like she was nuts, and went "We are calm. This is how we always argue. We can violently disagree about something without it ruining the friendship"
MessyRoom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:15:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think we're there yet, but don't worry, we just met.
Not-Jim-Belushi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:31:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually when I try to fill silence it's because I like and want to continue talking to a person not because I feel awkward. Small talk leads to big talk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Not-Jim-Belushi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me...?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:53:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried telling them that during my interview!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially in the car??? I actually much prefer that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about that. I took a long car ride with my SO awhile ago, and if she hadn't been talking to me the whole time I would've been bored out of my skull. It actually made the car ride enjoyable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Matter of preference it seems
joelpyro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I was in a hospital for 4 days recovering from surgery, (I'm under 18 so I needed a parent to be there the hole time) and my dad was talking non stop.
2close2see ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:50:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hello darkness my old friend...
WombatBeans ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:51:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This for me. I don't mind sitting in the quiet. If we're going to talk I want it to be something of substance, I don't want to listen to inane commentary, or as I call it narrating. My MIL and oldest kid are so bad about narrating. "Speed limit is 55. Oh look...a horse! Refi your mortgage for 2.1%, that seems like a good deal. Oh they have Minecraft toys here. There are a lot of people here today. Wow traffic is really bad right now. etc etc etc" Will you PLEASE Shut the FUCK up if you can't actually talk about something!??!
only_a_name ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
argh, I hate this so much. the worst thing is when that kind of narration goes on in my own head. stfu, brain!
Edited to add: This is the oddest thing I've ever had downvoted. What does anyone care how I feel about my own interior monologue?
WheezyTurtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminded me of pulp fiction "its like a wax museum with a pulse".
amazingmanderrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't have silence. I constantly have to making some kind of noise. Firstly, because I have epilepsy and if I go quiet and people are around they get nervous and think I'm having a seizure. Secondly, I fucking hate silence.
qwerty622 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is true to a certain degree, but most of the people that practice this are just socially inept, which, really, is not something to be proud of.
AequusEquus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:27:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's because you equate not feeling the need to talk every opportunity with social ineptitude? Or maybe all your quiet friends ARE socially inept, shit dude idk
qwerty622 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not every opportunity, but if you're relatively new acquaintances, then yes, there is a burden of keeping a conversation going. presenting yourself in the best possible light should be on your mind, and if it isn't it's less likely that it's because "you're real" and more likely that you don't have good social awareness/aptitude.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, having this burden must be awkward as fuck for you.
jayjay091 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:36:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except this is subjective. If I was eating with you and you kept asking random questions just for the sake of it, I would find you extremely annoying (and I would not see you "in the best possible light").
qwerty622 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
absolutely agree. but a good conversationalist doesn't just ask questions for the sake of it. the aim should be to interact in a meaningful way-that is the art of conversation.
zeppelin0110 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if I can agree with this. Some cultures are simply less chatty. Some people are more introverted. Someone who talks 'at' people (as opposed to 'with them') is not necessarily socially adept.
qwerty622 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it absolutely has to do with culture i agree. if the culture is less chatty, then you're perfectly fine. however, in a place like america, this wouldn't pass as socially acceptable. and i agree on your last point too. skilled conversation is the name of the game :)
myhairsreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a first date last night. It was nice, I really liked him and we're going out again this week. There were a few silences though that he kept trying to fill because he was shy and felt awkward. I don't know why people feel the need to talk none stop. It's ok to be quiet and just enjoy being in the company of others.
cactuscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It IS awkward for them though, so if you like the person you should probably make an effort.
aerojonno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nervousemu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother does this and it drives me crazy. She won't even be fully in the room and will just start going. I can't even say anything because otherwise i look like a jackass. Thank god for ear buds.
FancyPants95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's awkward for them and they want to converse with you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It only becomes awkward when someone says it's awkward
TheOnlinePolak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the difference between someone who is socially awkward and not socially awkward. The socially awkward kid will try to fill the void because to them it seems weird that no one is talking. Then they get stares and feel even worse about themselves.
unclesamsfunnybone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly enough, my girlfriend taught me to like this. I have always been a bit of a talker (and to some extent still am) but after being with her for 2 years, I have realized that she is not super awkward, she is just comfortable being quiet without having to say anything. As our relationship has progressed she has become more talkative than before we were dating, and I have found myself being quieter than I was before, and actually enjoying the silence. Being able to just enjoy time together without having to talk is actually kind of nice.
KingJonathan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to be talking to enjoy someone's company.
bikey_bike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, if you're hanging out with someone, silence can be a bit awkward if you're not really close to them, watching something, or playing video games. It's sort of a "well if we were going to just sit here in silence, I could have just stayed home alone." thought process. It's a tad uncomfortable for people who hang out with others to socialize rather than just share each other's company.
If it's at work or something like that, then yeah it's fine to just shut the fuck up and mind your own business, but imo in a social setting, it can be awkward. I'm also someone who has trouble shutting up, so just giving you my point of view ha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother does this all the time... except he fills the silence with singing... shitty, shitty singing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Just sitting, hanging out for 10 minutes watching the sky does not require talking. I've had people comment on the silence, and my response is always "It's not awkward. You learn to enjoy silence."
TedTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
Bodipc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence
Mr_Gilmore_Jr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this scene in Voyager between Tuvac and Seven of Nine. They were in a shuttle and she randomly says, "we haven't spoken for 2 hours and 4 minutes" (or something like that) and he asks, "do you find that significant?"
kynect2hymn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A million times, this.
vegasmel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that you, brother?
adtr007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
jglee1236 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is my roommate. When I get home from work, my ears are filled with constant words. Like, dude.. Is it alright if I fuck around on the internet in silence or maybe with music for an hour or two when I get home? Is that too much to ask? Every day, there's always some new song or band he wants me to hear, or some story about what happened at his job. What's funny is when we smoke a bit of the ol' wacky tobaccy, he says "I'm sorry, I get so talkative when I'm high." and in my head I'm thinking "no, my friend, you just notice it when you're high."
The time for a polite correction is fast approaching. At first, it didn't really bother me. But when I find myself yearning to be left alone in my own house, there's a problem. But it's difficult to say you need more personal time without sounding like you need more jerk-off time, heh.
zacablast3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like how pulp fiction address this.
Tastee-MacFreeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I end up driving around a lot, it's just what I do part of my day job. Sometimes friends will come along for the ride to make it less boring. After a couple hours, sometimes we just sit in silence and listen to music or the wind from the car. It ain't bad.
shawnisboring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's the biggest indicator when two people actually enjoy each others company. When simply being around someone is enough that neither feels the need to fill the air with words.
James-Ahh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Finland. We are a safe haven for shut up.
Ginger_lizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a woman I work with that will ask "how are you?" every time there is a moment of silence. She finds a different way to word it every time but it's still just filler and it drives me insane.
tulily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence." - Mia Wallace, Pulp Fiction
MrXian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can actually enjoy someones mere presence - words aren't required at all.
AriaTheTransgressor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find there is a difference between silence and awkward silence.
Awkward silence is where you are both talking, the conversation broke dow, and both of you are trying to figure out how to restart it.
Silence is where there is no conversation and you are merely enjoying the company of the other.
amolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't say anything if it doesn't improve on the silence.
insectsareawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The other day I was fishing with my brother and a friend of my brother. My brother would constantly talk about anything, mostly fishing. He had to leave for a good 15 minutes, me and his friend didn't say a single word in the meantime. I felt really relaxed and comfortable because I knew his friend also values a good silence.
TwiZtah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, a true friend is someone you can be quiet with, in silence and it should not feel uncomfortable.
Dynasty2201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try silence on a date.
Nothing says "I'm boring" like not having anything to say.
I hate silence, especially if you know the person. Took a colleague from Italy, who came for a few days to the UK office, out to London as he wanted to go. I spoke to him more on the phone in a meeting than an entire afternoon in London. Even getting dinner. Fuck me, talk bro.
Meet up with his friends and he's talking at last! YAY HE'S NOT BROKEN! Then suddenly he goes quiet for like an hour.
I'm chatting to his friends, asking him stuff as well and he's giving me one-word answers.
God.
I hate silences because I can never figure out if it's my or the other person's fault.
bjoernenbjoern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should try being in public in Denmark. Everyone pretends nobody around them exists.
crrrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's considerably less awkward if everyone is extremely stoned.
Source: am extremely stoned.
blastfromtheblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
went on a walk with some friends recently. we all wore headphones, it was perfect
FuckGiblets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I have a friend I used to work with. We would both be in an hour early and we would just it out side in silence. Him on his 3DS, me reading a book. I really appreciated having someone who I could share company with that we did not have to feel awkward for one seconds brake in conversation. I actually miss that a lot.
MichaeljBerry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're sitting and enjoying the silence and someone breaks it and says it's awkward, then they are uncomfortable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're in a conversation and stand there looking at each other for longer than 30 seconds without saying anything, yeah someone needs to say something or just run away.
LittleSugarBabysBabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because you're an introvert. And introverts are weird, they just don't know it.
MrMustangg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, people on phones. Obviously if someone is on their phone the whole time I see them then that's annoying, but it almost never happens to me.
Silence isn't something that needs to be constantly filled and if someone checks their phone every now and then, I couldn't care less.
Also, people who complain about other people being on their phones is just irritating. Let people do what they want. This is not a new phenomenon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my mom. I love to be in silence and she can't stand it. On the way to the gym at 7 am she wants to share every anecdote she can think of from her 50 years of life and listen to her music but I really just want silence.
Bojangthegoatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love silence. Especially when your with an SO. Just sit there and cuddle and enjoy each other. YOU DON'T HAVE TO ALWAYS BE TALKING, BROOKE ๐
whenitsTimeyoullknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't speak unless you can improve upon the silence."
~Somebody
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of pulp fiction
QuaintMind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to see how long people are OK with being quiet. It's a test to see how well we'll get along.
JusticeBeaver13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok Jordan Schlansky.
Other_Peoples_Posts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother has always said you know you are really good friends with somebody when you can both sit in a car for an hour and nobody says anything and you're both completely ok with that.
Lapi0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You nordic? We brood in silence all the time and never small-talk
Skayj2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends, when I'm with family or good friends, silence is never awkward, as we're all comfortable enough with each other.
Silence only becomes awkward when you're with people who you don't know very well or see very often.
boredinak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen. I am more than content with not saying anything at all and enjoying the company of someone without the need for bullshit small talk. I know you, these stupid questions can be redundant.
That and my grandparents forced me to be OK with silence, I was always able to be quiet when needed but one day we were drinking coffee, not fast like I was used to, but sipping it and enjoying the quiet and sometimes the sounds of nature and it clicked.
notthefoxhound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
diemunkiesdie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In person I agree with you, but for phone conversations I'm like "30 seconds silence we've got nothing to chat about? alright we can hang up then right? right?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like in the car?
If conversation stops for literally 5 seconds my girlfriend will turn the radio on. My dad will start reading billboards out loud....
RocheCoach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's a pretty good distance between a comfortable silence, and an awkward silence. I just have ways of "feeling" a situation out.
Kusundree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's when you know you've found someone special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a second and enjoy the silence."
dylanbob5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like not having to deliver all the time. Breaks and silence can be just fine. Conversations need to breathe sometimes. It's something our culture feels the need to smother. Watch any talk show from 40+ years ago. Dick Cavett, Merv Griffin, Ed Sullivan, and all those guys were okay with there being lulls. It's uncomfortable from a modern perspective, but it shows we've lost the ability to appreciate silence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree man, and usually I mark the first occasion of that add the time in truly "friends" with someone. We aren't trying to like, keep each other's attention actively or anything, we know we're chill and comfortable being around each other and have plenty of time to hang out, let's just ride to the store with light music on.
At the same time, 20 minutes without talking would have me questioning what it is were supposed to be doing together as friends. Sounds like one of you is pretty boring in general if that was a literal statement.
Egexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Finland and it's the other way around :D
Charliek4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad does this. I eventually got over it. He still hasn't.
guitarhamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every date I've been with think it's weird and that I'm awkward or antisocial. =( Just need to rest once in a while.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever someone points out that it's awkward when there's silence, I'm quick to point out that it wasn't awkward until they made it so.
atomicxbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Pulp Fiction
marcm6246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still can't get used to this one, as hard as I try. I got into an Uber last night and the silence only lasted a minute. It was unbearable. I hope I can get over it :/
TheRealNemesis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those who find or say "this is awkward", are the ones that are awkward!
O0OO00OOO000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did we just become best friends?
MrRagston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like, as a black guy, this is why we have the head nod/lift. I don't have to hit you with a "Hey, how's it going", because we both know I probably don't care. If I look up, and we happen to catch each other's eye, we nod, then go back to our own business.
I HATE pretending I care about some non consequential small talk just to be "decent".
cactopuses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have tinnitus so this actually is really annoying for me... Also fans are my hero
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you on that. I used to snowboard and surf almost daily and I had a buddy that I went with. We would sit in the car for an hour without a word being said. He was a great buddy.
MrPepsiNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should visit Sweden or Finland, we like our silence
Justheretolearnshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
ThachWeave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have heard that this is kind of an introvert thing. I'm introverted and one of my old roommates is introverted, and we used to be able to sit in the same room for like 2 hours without saying a word to each other while just doing other things without it being awkward.
Of course, no doubt there are extroverts who do it too.
ZaInT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AvatarWaang ยท 4474 points ยท Posted at 18:49:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating with your mouth open.
Just kidding, fuck anyone who does this
[deleted] ยท 766 points ยท Posted at 23:00:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who opens her mouth all the way every time she chews. Bits of food fly out of her mouth with every smack smack smack smack smack of her lips. Its the worst fucking thing ever. And she gets super offended and calls you a piece of shit asshole if you ask her to eat more quietly.
I stopped inviting her over for dinner when we hang out. Now when she comes over, she orders delivery because she never cooks/eats by herself. I can't get away from it.
AvatarWaang ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 23:18:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst part is that she's indignant about it. If something I do is gross and offensive, damn right I'm going to thank the person and do something about it
iSancty ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 00:09:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The worst part is that u/UzanameFoLyfe is still friends with her
AvatarWaang ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:09:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't think that's enough to break contact with someone, but it's certainly enough to limit my time with them
iSancty ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:07:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear if I have to hear anyone slosh a gooey banana in their mouth for more than 5 minutes I'd blow my brains out. My dad does this every time and I just have to leave the room.
ImMufasa ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:09:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell if I can even hear people smacking their gum it drives me crazy.
GoodVoatCoUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disown him
throwaway0109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:55:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, calling someone (a friend) a piece of shit asshole for asking you to do something is a pretty big reason to not want to deal with skmeone. Maybe it's just me.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:05:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's part of my main social group, and unfortunately I cannot unilaterally decide for my group that she's out. :/
FrancisKey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:30:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There is one guy in my group that tries to make those unilateral decisions on who is out. What makes me sick is that we let him pull it off.
Now I'm honestly scared of him, it's like he can take all of my friends away.
It's not like we all went zero contact with the guy he wanted out. It's more that now, he's not invited on group vacations, has to buy his own tickets individually to concerts, and doesn't feel welcome at some parties.
It's basically because they have the same taste in women and both NEED to be the center of attention when they are drunk.
edit: I guess I need to elaborate that many of us still tried to include him but eventually he just stopped wanting to come around when certain people would be there. I feel for him because he's actually my best friend and room mate. I understand that he doesn't want to go somewhere he doesn't feel welcome.
EvilTomte ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:49:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um, so include him then.
RedBuffalo1427 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First it's making decisions about who the group hangs out with.
Next he's a cult leader. Seriously. Watch out.
misteryin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an ex who did that, yet she would get upset that I kept telling her to close her mouth when she chewed. It was fucking annoying hearing the crunch a few inches from my ear.
omar1993 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost as if one's eating habits aren't the entire basis for friendship!
Kfrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if they told you that thanking someone when they tell you that you're being gross and offensive is gross and offensive?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:48:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AvatarWaang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Words hard talk speak
Buy I don't see what's grammatically wrong with my comment, can you provide a revision?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:23:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AvatarWaang ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:18:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think the United States is one of them, which is where I'm from, and I believe the other poster and get gross friend are as well. Otherwise it wouldn't be an issue.
catsandcake ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:21:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear god. I have misophonia and just the idea of watching/hearing/being around somebody who eats like that actually makes me anxious. I don't know how you put up with it!
thisisrediculou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has TMJ that makes her jaw pop with every chew. She eats with her mouth closed and all but I can't stand the pop pop pop pop pop when she eats, she also chews gum a lot. She can't help it and I feel bad that it angers me. I have TMJ too that makes my jaw lock if I open my mouth too far but thankfully doesn't pop.
catsandcake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so funny! I'm in the exact same situation with my dad. His jaw pops with every chew due to TMJ, and mine pops and locks (but doesn't drop it) when I open it too wide as well. I wonder how common that is, and if there's a genetic aspect to it?
thisisrediculou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a hard time eating tall hamburgers? Sometimes I go to take a bite, my jaw locks, and I have to unlock it and try again. Sometimes I give up after the third or so try and flatten the burger as best I can.
CodeJack ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:23:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How have you not glued her lips together yet?
sir_mrej ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:08:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had a guest order delivery food for themselves while at my house. That's weird.
zoraluigi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:20:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that seems like a social faux pas.
Boobballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
gundams_are_on_earth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:32:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an aunt staying with us from Nigeria (we're in USA). OH MY GOD. When she chews gum I want to stick a pencil in my ears. And she clangs her teeth on the spoon when eating, especially soup. My grandmother would have beat me red for eating like this.
Aurora_Septentrio ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I even have difficulty breathing through just my nose, but I still stop chewing if I need to breathe. Or at least cover my mouth.
It's not that hard.
everyonecallsmekev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That person would be banned from my house.
Darkleptomaniac ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:00:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fucking worse when you ask someone to try eat quieter and they go out of their way to eat even louder, like grow the fuck up you disgusting piece of shit.
RamboNinjaJesus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother does the same thing. I've politely asked him if he could eat more quietly, but he just yells at me for mentioning it. Rage has been slowly building inside of me not only because it is disgusting, but it seems to just piss me off.
Zerosen_Oni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how someone can be so easily angered at you for them being an idiot
aimstylez ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:03:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
don't be friends with her.
prophet-zero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That person is not your friend.
xkamikaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is your friend from China/Taiwan? I noticed they do that and it's gross. Note: my parents are from there.
coding_is_fun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Throw her delivery in the toilet?
:)
AdviceWithSalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I... Don't think I could stand that...
kombucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shes no friend of mine
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my dog does the same thing
so annoying.
Caneiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck this if one of my friends did this I'd the them to close there fucking mouth when they eat. It's rude, annoying, and just gross. I don't care if I come across as an asshole, if you do this fuck you and the click you claim.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Id drop her or risk a murder charge.
GreetingsNsalutation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She would no longer be my friend.
Blacksheepoftheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is she still your friend!?
Has_Two_Cents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this would cause me to not be friends with a person
Martholomule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should tell her that the entire internet says fuck you, you gross pig
Allimack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One thing parents can do if they have a kid (over age 8) who is eating this way is to place a mirror in front of them and have them watch themselves eating. This can be done in a light, fun way and can provide a positive level of self awareness (and wouldn't hurt a few adults to try on their own if they worry they are gross eaters). If she is sensitive but you really want to get some closure on this, film her eating and at a later time show it to her. She may hate you for it, but at least she will see proof of what you are saying and can make an informed decision as to whether she wants to improve herself (or not). And if not, and you are stuck with her, just absent yourself from her presence as much as possible while she is eating.
pagirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
have you told her? At that point it seems like it would help her.
slhendrix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds lovely.
turdzip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a new coworker who does this. No matter what he's eating, it sounds like he's eating a jellyfish with it drizzling down his chin as he starts smacking his lips open and closed.
He also leaves his food wide open on his desk. We never had mice issues before (and I have kept a bit of food in my desk for 2 1/2 years). He caught a mouse in his desk when he's only been here for 3 months!
Austion66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a stronger person than I am. Eating that way irks me in a way I don't quite fully understand..
TheCarlton562 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why but suddenly it seems like my whole family does this when I remember my parents always saying not chew with your mouth open. I sit there wondering if I'm the only one who still adheres to this rule
RedCat1529 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Ugh, my friend's husband does this. His table manners are appalling - he talks while he has a mouthful of food, chews with his mouth open, makes loud slurping noises, and worst of all mashes every mouthful of food against his front teeth with his tongue. If you don't think thats gross, run to a mirror and try it - remember to keep your mouth open while you do it!
Oh, and he's a greedy pig too. I'm a slow eater, so if it's a help-yourself meal, I'll finish a tiny portion in the time it's taken him to finish the rest of the dish. I've mentioned this behaviour is not polite, and he has thanked me for the insight into Australian culture, but he soon back-slides. It's truly disgusting to sit with him during a meal - I spend most of the time averting my gaze.
I invited his lovely wife over for dinner tonight, she just texted to let me know that he's coming too. :(
Edit: added emphasis to the worst bit.
donteatthetoiletmint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Choke her
BiochemGuitarTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yuck, I would video my friend doing it and insist on them watching to be absolutely sure they knew how gross they were.
Conhairs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time she does it smack her in and the mouth and say "EVERYTIME YOU SMACK I SMACK" and I bet she will stop real quick.
FuzzyD00m0203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Punch her in the throat. She'll quit doing that real fast.
ChipSchafer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my roommate. I feel like we've given him too much shit though, he often doesn't order food when we go out or eat around other people. :/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever tried jamming something unpleasant in there?
jostler57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God I hate this, too! I have 2 friends that do it, and it drives me nuts.
Is there any tactful way of asking them to stop?
Masuchievo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Turn it into a game and start throwing raisins or small nuts into her open cavity.
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who is this bitch? I'll send her an anonymous message telling her to close her fucking mouth.
Cheeseologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friends call you a "piece of shit asshole"? Sheesh. You must be either a REALLY big asshole who can only get friends that merely tolerate you, or you have shitty friends.
lose_not_loose_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think any jury will convict you if you murder this friend.
NoobCanoeWork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you friends with that person? ew
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I almost instinctively downvoted you because of how much I was annoyed by that story. Then I realized it wasn't your fault...
Sorry you have to endure that.
FeculentUtopia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you're next forced to eat in her company, mimic her manners and see how she likes having to see it from the other side.
Theyellowk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lip smackers are always so fucking defensive about it
Steezymann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Grow a pair of balls and tell that rude bitch to shut her fat pig mouth. Most of us learned to not chew like a disgusting slob before we could shit in a toilet. God your friend sounds horrible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should stop letting her in.
Abundantjade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was hoping for a happier ending to this tale
pmckizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tell her to fuck off
Nickisadick1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's your duty to destroy her.
DasBarenJager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell her you don't want her eating at your house
"What? Why not?
Because your a fucking animal that's why.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
MissBubbleButt ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch my brother eat, I bet a part of your soul would die from disgust
AvatarWaang ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:26:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a part of him would die from getting hit
MissBubbleButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah, normally I just walk away from him
heethar ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 23:19:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Misophonic here. I love you.
Freddy216b ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:21:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read up on this and have now self diagnosed myself as such. I feel genuine anger and disgust when I hear sounds made by people eating. Not crunching because I can rationalize that but that sound of chewing air, or smacking, or gulping. Basically any sound made by the person while eating that isn't the food being bitten.
tehvee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:59:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I turn up the volume on the TV so I don't have to hear myself eating.
heethar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have had it for 23 years now but didn't know what it was until a few years ago, being that there is still so little we know about the condition. I'm sorry you have to live with it. :( It sucks a bag of dicks.
You should check out the Misophonia Activation Scale, if you haven't already. The link has some great resources, too! Also, if you have any questions about it, feel free to message me!
Freddy216b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading the scale I'm usually level 3 but have experienced 4. I am self diagnosing so it could be any number of things and I could be wrong but it sounds like me. It could even just be confirmation bias too.
Cheshamone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm normally a 2-3 with similar triggers, but I have one specific trigger that makes me spike up to level 9. Sucks big time.
AvatarWaang ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 23:46:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what that means but I love you too
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:59:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ctaps148 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 00:20:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god nobody tell tumblr or else we'll have "TRIGGER WARNING: SOUND" plastered all over the place
OrbOfConfusion ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:21:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you'll find those in /r/misophonia sometimes, but it's a really helpful thing there. It's made me realize that trigger warnings have their place, especially in niche groups. Of course they're not really necessary in the average setting, but I don't mind seeing them even if I don't need the heads up myself.
AvatarWaang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, TIL
R9014 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you should probably stay out of /r/asmr, then.
MCCuddlePuddle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I think I might have this.
3rd_Shift_Tech_Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. What about loud eating in general like slurping, scraping your fork on your teeth, etc?
I'm normally pretty chill, but once we're eating and there is noise outside of typical conversation, I have to take a moment to collect myself so I don't go apeshit.
cara123456789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It includes a lot of things including breathing, swallowing, snoring etc. Personally a bad one for me is hearing people brush their teeth. I just want to either run away or a scream and punch them in the face
Frans421421 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:58:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We should start a club. Then get our private army and then create the perfect dystopia.
ZenDragon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:55:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The club is over at /r/misophonia
heethar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to joke about moving to Singapore because of my misophonia. Chewing Gum Ban in Singapore
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Japanese singing soup?
myusernameranoutofsp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe most people are misophonic and there's just a disgusting minority who are inconsiderate and don't have manners.
Quick_Over_There ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:00:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You almost had me for a second there.
penguin_killa ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:28:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:37:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AvatarWaang ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:47:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your mouth is open I don't care. It's that smacking sound and the food going flying from your mouth that I can't stand.
ZzombieCake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who does that lol.
AvatarWaang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've noticed it mostly with younger kids, but you'll see it rarely with older folks as well, just check out the other comments
CodeJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have really bad hayfever and it's no excuse. You can hold your breath for 10 seconds while you chew.
LeStorch ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:18:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Besides that some people consider it rude it's fucking annoying
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:00:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:22:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
adaminc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:10:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some Eastern and South-Eastern societies, it is considered polite to eat with your mouth open, or to slurp loudly (soup/noodles/etc...), as a sign of respect to the chef.
piratesas ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:06:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do not go to China, the smacking and slurping is them being considerate of our eating habits.
AvatarWaang ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:19:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, eating noisily is how it's done in Asia
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:54:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, they're here now.
felza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:24:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I've been taught all my life to eat with my mouth shut. I srsly can't deal with people who chew and make that loud chewing voice. I had a friend who does this over skype all the time and for the worse his comp's mic picks up the tiny-est of sounds. Its so fucking loud I can barely hear the game we are playing :/
pushforwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are praising their food :3 and showing gratitude. At least thats a Chinese friend explained it to me.
FuckedByCrap ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:43:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still disgusting.
pushforwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not disagreeing
Soulsie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
downvoted for ":3"
pushforwards ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unintended cat pun as food
jhutchi2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a stereotype that I don't know about? Because my Korean buddy is the loudest chewer I've ever encountered.
hootandahalf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:28:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't normally correct foreigners on manners that don't exist where they're from but this is the one thing that I've continually had to correct my Chinese friends on it. A few of them have even agreed with me that it's disgusting.
QueenAlpaca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend has a really bad habit of this. He originally did it to annoy his awful mother, but then made it into a habit. I just tell him I don't feel like listening to pornos every time we eat.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh, he's a moaner. You're a better person than I, I've not asked girls out again after hearing them eat. I can't stand lips smacking, loud swallowing, crunching, and especially moaning. Moaning is the fucking worst.
Like seriously, you're having a fucking orgasm over macaroni? WTF is wrong with you?
QueenAlpaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's not a moaner actually (thank god), but just the smacksmacksmack makes it sound like a messy porno.
GPcouple07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone who does this does so out of bad manners. I have broken my nose several times and I don't breath through it very well anymore.
chronolockster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I only do that because I sometimes can't breathe through my nose. Sometimes I'll close my mouth and hold my breath but then I hate the meal.
Blackwood42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care much about eating with your mouth open, it's the sound I can't stand...hearing people eat is disgusting..
I'm ok in restaurants where there's some background noise, but I hate going to people's houses for food.
Even when I was living with people I preferred to eat alone unless we were sat in front of the tv or something.
If it's too quiet I just won't eat, partly because I can hear other people chewing and that's awful, and also I'm aware I can't eat silently and the thought of people hearing me eat puts me off..
indil47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a basic rule: I don't want to hear, see, or smell what people have in their mouths.
I can't even stand people brushing their teeth around me. Blech.
AvatarWaang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preach
sophiatheworst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my husband, but he is the worst about this, even when I ask him to close his mouth.
TheViolentDelight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thank god this was a joke
andyweir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man one time I was on campus trying to study and I was hearing this weird and annoying slurping/gulping sound. I'm like "wtf is this shit!"
I get up to look around to see what it was and I hit the corner and it was a girl eating some chicken nuggets with her mouth open.
I was horrified. Sounded like that monster from Jeepers Creepers eating a leg
falcoperegrinus82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My coworker does this. That mac and cheese stirring noise makes my blood boil.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, this bugs me so much. And it's even worse when they become mouth breathers at the same time. And then as if that wasn't enough, they try to talk to you!
Coworker has been doing this. All day meetings and he's .......just.... FUCK!
Super nice guy. But for fuck sake just close your damn mouth!
OogaBoogaDoog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anybody that does this devolves to a stupid barbarian.
jupiter78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was raised in a family that all did this. It wasn't even until high school that someone pointed out I did it and I tried to stop. I still do it sometimes out of habit.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I love my mom. She was always on our asses about that from the start so it's inconceivable how one could do this.
GTFrostbite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote for comment and for username.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks yo
eleanor61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll add chewing gum with one's mouth open...like a cow chewing her cud. Ugh.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow less disgusting to me because you miss the food flying everywhere, but a very annoying sounds still
eleanor61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, maybe not as disgusting but still distracting.
inimtheTARDIS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just git back from Korea, every Korean does this, it bothered me so much.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone else mentioned a lot of Asians do this. I'm no expert, but I believe it's a cultural thing to eat loudly as a sign of respect/complimentary to the chef
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
having a big problem trying to get my 7 year-old to stop this. We warn him at every meal, he stops for a minute or two, then starts up again. i don't know how to make him stop
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to open a can of righteous whoop-ass on you, thank god you were kidding.
ihatehills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Second this. Had lunch with someone today who talks with their mouth full. Food fell out of their mouth. Still haven't regained my appetite.
Bhuge1977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have a guy at work we call shrapnel because of this. You have to stay out of the blast radius.
hellschatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously I couldn't care less about that. You could eat naked in front of me chew unrhythmically while farting rhythmically every 2 seconds and it wouldn't bother me as long as your farts don't smell like gorgonzola that you've bought 2 months ago.
I went to Asia and especially in China it was awesome that nobody cared about how you eat. People eat how they want and you feel 100 times more comfortable while eating in a restaurant. The food becomes automatically more delicious than it already is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What, like right away? Or after they've finished chewing?
hivesteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I forget my headphones at work, it's the worst because of these morons.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would be my answer, actually. I don't do it, but I can definitely say it doesn't bother me at all.
TheLuckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My significant other does this and I can't for the life of me get her to stop. Anyone have any ideas? Anyone?? Please, I'm begging you [serious].
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Horrible. I literally refuse to eat with loud eaters. I've had friends where I've told them that they either learn to chew with their mouth shut like an adult, or fuck off around meal time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate chews like a wild horse. When I tell him to fuck off and stop it, he bitches that he grew up that way and can't.
So now I smack him when he does it.
Thebiglurker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually good reason this taboo. It's gross, and you're more likely to choke when you do it (especially talking with your mouth full)
a_talking_face ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is my fucking pet peeve. Especially if you make noises while you chew. Nothing makes me hate you more than hearing your chewing sounds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck my parents do this and i can't stand it
ThatScienceKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing chips and gum with your gob wide open is the worst
kawaii_song ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
went to a high school where it was 80% asian+indian (so 40% for each) school
most of them ate with their mouth open and I was disgusted. I became a bit of a racist since the stereotypes were true
the other 20% was white and other (17% and 3%)
I was in the 'other' category
King_of_the_Hobos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
only if they stop eating while I fuck them
silversquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck olly
Tromboneofsteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a buddy that for some reason must have something to eat whenever we're playing a game, and never mutes his mic while he's doing it. I just want to throw up every time I hear someone chewing.
Psylink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex brother in law used to chew with his mouth open and moan and groan like his taste buds were orgasming. I always wanted to hit him in the face with a brick when he did it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck you, it tastes better.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your blood shall taste better than hearing you eat.
MacManus47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just kicked out my roommate; I told him it was because he stole liquor and made me late for work for the last two months ... But it was really because he eats with his mouth open.
IMolestBodybuilders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this with a british accent is really funny hehehehehehe
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I'm an American.
insmek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what man, I get it. You don't like it. It's "bothersome" to you.
But seriously, fuck you.
I can't help that I do this. I don't like that my default chewing state is with my mouth open. I've heard it my entire fucking life, and I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing about it. If it was just as easy as closing my mouth, you don't think I'd do it? This isn't on purpose. It's not meant to annoy you. I'm sorry. I'm just sick of hearing about it.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the easiest thing in the world. Just shut your damn mouth and make that your habit. If you think about it each time you eat, it'll become habitual. Look at all the other comments and see how much everyone hates it.
insmek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't read a thing I said. If it was that easy, I would just do it.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of other people have changed. Clearly you have such a weak constitution you can't do the same.
insmek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't think I've grown tired of hearing about it for more than twenty years? If it was so God damn simple, I would just do it, I promise. It just isn't.
Hubley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so noisy :(
Gary_FucKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha food tastes better for me when I eat with my mouth open so it's always a decision between enjoying my food more, and not being hated by everyone for miles around. I really love food tho so I just say fuck eeeerry one else most of the time.
AvatarWaang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're by yourself it doesn't matter, it's more about being respectful top the people around you when you're in public
Qbuilderz ยท 311 points ยท Posted at 14:32:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using public toilets.
Yeah, they're gross...but sometimes you just gotta poop.
Itsacubanthing_ ยท 199 points ยท Posted at 17:00:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I met a girl a few weeks back who told me that she has straight up shit herself on multiple occasions for fear of using a public restroom and having someone else hear/smell/witness her shitting like a normal human being. I brought it to her attention that is literally what toilets are made for and she just went "but what if someone smells it before I flush and gags"
whatever, I shit when and where I please so long as theres a toilet.
[deleted] ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 19:44:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell her she just made the internet gag by shitting herself.
aintthisabagofdicks ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:39:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or erect. You never know who's reading this.
Mred12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both?
fractalfarmer ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 22:49:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, she can't handle the thought of someone possibly smelling her poop in a toilet, but she's ok with pooping in her clothes and spending the rest of her day smelling like shit? That makes no sense. If I smell poop in a bathroom, I'm not going to bat an eyelid. If, on the other hand, YOU smell like poop when I get near you, that would give me pause.
Itsacubanthing_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:45:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
she'd just rather hold it all day and take the risk of shitting herself than let a stranger know she was pooping in the socially designated manner. weirded me out at first but she's a totally outgoing and boisterous person outside of this.
SimplyQuid ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's insane
rookierror ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:01:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never shit myself but can confirm she isn't alone. Its very rare that I'll use a public toilet for #2's.
Itsacubanthing_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
read that as
I was going to say, um... that's a problem.
rookierror ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:05:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm just trying to set a world record for megacolons...
bombinabirdcage ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:01:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I am a female with IBS. I get sudden diarrhea. Public toilets save me. One lady I talked to says she has a travel size bottle of Scope in her purse. She adds it to the toilet water before, during and after. That and a courtesy flush. I courtesy flush, but never thought of the Scope.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:40:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...courtesy flush?
You must not be from California
sweetdeejokesonme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can buy this spray online called poo pourri and it is incredible. You spray it once in the toilet water before you poo and it makes that poo smell like lemons! My friend bought it and it is one of the greatest things ever. I'm sure it only costs about ยฃ2 as well.
Itsacubanthing_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:43:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is pretty ingenious... i think i'll pass this one on lol
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:59:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol what.
That's ridiculous.
DasBarenJager ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:46:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How would people not notice that she just shit herself?
Oops someone may hear me pooping in that toilet stall, better just walk around with shit soaking through my pants instead, that is far less noticeable.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:52:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you expect to smell poop in a bathroom. that's normal. pooping yourself is not. if a girl told me that i would now associate her with the image of her walking around with poop in her pants burned into my head for the rest of my life.
madindenial ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:53 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand a girl not shitting in public if she suffers from constipation or is on her period. Constipation would take too long, and period shits are fucking rank. But if you're gunna be in and out just do it. Poop in public. Mark your territory. Just because you have a pussy doesn't mean you have to be a pussy.
Source: haven't pooped at work for the past week; it's shark week and I'm doing a detox. No one deserves my anal mustard gas.
Decider_Wets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a shy pooper for awhile at work. I got over it. If someone sits in the next stall I'm not holding anything back. I try not to grunt tho that's too much.
thisguy883 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone can smell it and gag, then that girl needs to change her diet.
longdong_sliver ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:12:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but surely the smell of her would be covered up by the overwhelming bathroom smell? idk lol Im a guy
88gavinm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:05 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf
longdong_sliver ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:27 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
? what do you not understand
oarabbus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:20:01 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your nonsensical question.
88gavinm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
longdong_sliver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:46 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Therefore I don't understand being embarrassed about bodily functions at all, while some girls (like the one he was talking about) seem to.
gozzling ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:00:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah fear of public toilets is just weird to me. I can throw down in just about any available receptacle.
the_omega99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand a mild aversion to public toilets. As the OP said, they're gross. The things some people do to public toilets is just weird as fuck. And then you have to deal with imperfect privacy due to how the stalls work, the bathrooms often smell bad, and the toilet paper is almost always that crappy industrial stuff that's thin and rough.
But a fear of using them is just weird.
RossPerotVan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will avoid it as long as possible. To the point of being very uncomfortable. Even just to pee. The automatic flush going off while I'm still sitting and spraying me is one of many reasons
_Dotty_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even have to have a receptacle. I've shit outside so many times it's not even funny. Just find somewhere that's off the beaten path a little bit. Find a nice tree. Lean up against that bad boy and go to work. Thankfully I usually carry some TP in my fishing gear and I have enough baggies to bring that shit back out and dispose of the paper in the proper recepticles.
snorlz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:25:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats not socially unacceptable though..thats just personally unacceptable for a lot of people
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:41:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the toilet seat isn't wet or smeared with shit, my bare ass is plopping down on it.
nedstupidflanders ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:58:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When did using a public toilet become socially unacceptable. Are the shy poopers the majority now? Are the social shitters a thing of the past? What is wrong with you people, everybody poops!!
fractalfarmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, doesn't anyone else get in quite bad pain after a while if they hold it in? If I don't go when I need to I get doubled over by pelvic and lower back pain.
serosis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would not mind public restrooms if they were not so fucking disgusting.
I always find myself having to clean up someone else's shit.
I enjoy when I get to go in a fresh, clean stall.
spraychael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only worth bitching about when you have to pay for it and you've got a shy one bobbin
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf? Where do you pay to use a toilet??
spraychael ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All over in Europe. I spent 9 days in Dublin and got a horrible case of the travelers "backed up brown babies"... I was a teenager and trying to avoid blowing up the hotel bathroom so... Yeah.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That seems inhumane...
rayyychul ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:42:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a lot of countries, it helps pay for the cost of maintaining the washroom. I'd rather pay 30 cents than not have the option to.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense. Where i am the general courtesy is to be a paying customer.
rayyychul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are public restrooms maintained by the city, not restrooms in places of business.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha. It makes sense in heavily populated areas to do this. I'm in a rural area
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LA
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? That's fucked up. Never going there.
Tyzorg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to lay enough toilet paper to give myself a good one inch cushion on the seat. I feel its cleaner that way.
magickmidget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother would do this compulsively for us until we were tall enough to hover. If she found out I just wipe the seat and then sit, she'd probably have an aneurysm.
legacy642 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends won't shit in a public toilet. At all. At one point I was his manager and I had to straight up tell him to go home and take a shit. He really had to go and wouldn't go at the restaurant we were working at. I was worried he was going to cause some damage.
bangarang710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to find one of those single bathrooms on campus anytime I have to poo. but you're right, if you gotta go, fucking go
MrDerpsicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just hold it in until I get home.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd hold it if I could, but they're last resorts. Being a guy helps too, but when number two comes calling and you had Chinese food last night...
A_Random_Lady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was my sentiment exactly! I've actually taught my oldest child that impolite things happen in bathrooms and people need to get over it because that's what the bathroom is there for. If someone thinks it's rude to shit in a toilet, find out where they'd like you to shit. *my kid has an inflammatory bowel disease
electromage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm generally fine with them, as long as they look clean. Generally I avoid gas stations and convenience stores, but supermarkets usually have pretty clean facilities that don't require a key. Bathroom keys are something I won't deal with.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're not really that gross. Just sit down and take a shit, the seat is probably cleaner than a public bench or a bus seat and it's not like you need to hide the loud eruption - everyones in there to expell waste.
Berjj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I prefer pooping at work. Free toilet paper! Woo!
bbog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, where do you live? I never thought using public toilets was socially unacceptable lol, that sounds dumb just saying it.
What's the socially acceptable alternative then??
Danica170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a friend who COULDN'T use public toilets because she would get yeast infections every time she did. I cannot fathom how your vagina can be THAT sensitive that you can't even use a public fucking restroom. I've never once gotten a yeast infection.
Yourdoneson ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:07:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only use em for #1
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you run home during lunch to shit?
I_AM_POOPING_NOW_AMA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:56:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the truth.
bratzman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:32:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it shocking that the public toilets have dwindled so much. It's a basic animal function to poop. But you can't poop in public. You can't poop in the public toilet though, because there aren't really any about.
Harry101UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where the hell do you live where there aren't any public toilets?
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 5397 points ยท Posted at 13:56:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving a party without saying goodbye.
[deleted] ยท 3299 points ยท Posted at 14:46:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say goodbye to the host and close friends who are there, then I'm out. I'm not going to interrupt everyone's conversation just to let them know I'm leaving.
Artemissister ยท 2166 points ยท Posted at 17:30:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I hate the goddamned arguments you get "You're going???? Whyyyyy???" Uh, because I have to or want to. 2 or 3 parties like this is how I perfected The Vanish Act.
fishneedsporpoise ยท 796 points ยท Posted at 20:46:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call this the ol "Irish Goodbye"
OKHnyc ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:44:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coming here to say exactly this. Walk out the door backwards so everyone thinks you're just showing up.
SnatchAddict ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 00:32:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends hate when I do this. I do it because I hate being hassled. If they were just like, thanks for coming out, see ya! I'd be ok.
But it's, don't go, stay for another. Don't be a pussy. Etc.
No. I'm done. I'm tired. I know my limit. I want to see my wife etc.
rough_bread ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 01:06:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hearing for once that you want to see the wife instead of get away warmed my heart a little
Yeti_Poet ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:31:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the man is addicted to snatch.
mandalf12 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a good film.
AdviceWithSalt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:12:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use my SO as my excuse to leave any social situation. It's like 50/50 if she's even home, she's just the perfect excuse.
SnatchAddict ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:38:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is 22 weeks pregnant so I've got that going for me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude that's like 2 years
SnatchAddict ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:40:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you even math?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
goldrushing ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:36:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always known (and practiced) this move as the 'Irish Exit'. I understood it came from whenever it was the Irishman's turn to buy a round of drinks, he'd mysteriously disappeared.. But yeah, fuck the party goodbye. A friend of mine refers to it as 'doing a batman'.
Koonga ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:11:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it French Exit where i'm from, but I do like The Batman. I want to make that a thing.
inexcess ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:22:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Around my area we use the word "bounce" to refer to someone leaving. If they leave without telling anybody, we refer to it as a "shady bounce".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:19:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Portland I've heard this called the "sketch bail"
luzertomorrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In D.C., "sketch ball" has an entirely different meaning.
Redditarama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, in France we call it the English exit.
tragamin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
irish exit yeah but the real reason is most irish people are awkward and dont want to make a big scene when theyre leaving as if theyre famous or something
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've also heard that it comes from the Irish slipping out the side door of the church after Mass to avoid long chats after the service.
Sciddaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd heard it as someone who wanders off while drunk and doesn't return to the party
JorgeKloony ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:15:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An old friend calls it the "Cherokee Fadeaway"
slackware93 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:26:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I'd find this term in the reply chain. Thank you
feowns ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:05:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god because Irish people drag out goodbyes forever. I swear I hate dding for my parents because we don't actually leave until at least 30 minutes after the goodbyes start
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:36:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a lot like the Minnesotan goodbye. Always start saying your goodbyes at least 40 minutes before you actually intend to leave.
TVhero ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:13:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
30 minutes? Your lucky, I'm usually there another hour at least
slapandtickleme ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:54:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"French exit" over here.
waldgnome ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:53:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"English goodbye" or rather "Englischer Abgang" in German. At least in my region.
READMYSHIT ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:58:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brits. Stealing our stuff again.
antarctic_chimpanzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take it you hear about the McGregor thing then
GaryMutherFuckinOak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Polnischer Abgang" in Munich
Jon_Cake ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:18:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend taught me this term! He tried to leave a party once by quietly telling a few people he was heading out, saying he was "doing the Irish exit." So naturally, one of the first people he came up to yelled out, "HEY EVERYONE! ALAN IS LEAVING!"
Of course, this led to everyone making a huge deal out of it and he was stuck with the awful drawn-out goodbye for the next 10 minutes or so before he could finally get out.
The best part came about 45 minutes later when he had to come back and go through the departure rigmarole again because he had forgotten his backpack...
hawtsaus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Smokebombing"
chrishopkins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
-blacktaxi- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Many of my friends and I call it "pulling the party parachute".
vaitor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany we know it as the ol "Polish Exit"
daybowbowchica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call it the "Houdini"
DrunkenGolfer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it "smokebombing".
oncestrong13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The old "Just going out for smokes" routine
ettenyl29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it as the Irish Ghost...I do it.
BigWil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aka the black father
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also have heard it called "the Gypsy Fade" which I totally love for whatever reason.
Juffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is English Goodbye.
Irish Goodbye is to pass out drunk without saying a word to anyone
Dassery0 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:08:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And be inexplicably gone before morning
therealmikelane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only proper way to exit. Not a sound.
turnpikenorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irish Exit" here
itzerokewl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother-in-law has dubbed this the "Ninja Vanish" act.
RolandTheGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, in Spanish we call this the French goodbye, "despedirse a la francesa".
basadvo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the "Irish goodbye" was getting drunk and wandering off?
Koonga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's known in my parts as The French Exit.
dbagthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's also called "taking Dutch leave."
HeWentToJared91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean "Drunkenly beat the shit out of someone and leave"?
461weavile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousins called it the "shady bounce"
I'm not as cool as them
zangkor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Houdini-ing
anthos_hero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, where I'm from it's called a French goodbye
Artemissister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:08 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAH! I was told it's called "The French Goodbye!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's when you don't bring potatoes to a party.
cyanight7 ยท 521 points ยท Posted at 20:23:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you really want me to explain why I want to leave your party? I have a feeling you won't like the explanation."
nitvit610 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling they won't like it either if you tell them that.
cyanight7 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's because your party is crap m8y"
MusaTheRedGuard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
m8y? Are you a pirate?
dragontail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u w0t?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:30:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And literally you're going to say barring "[insert relative/close friend] just got rushed to the hospital" is going to be met with that groaning Nooooo stayyyyyy and then Nooooo you're no funnn.
Way easier to just dip out. Drunk people tend to forget who was there at the end of the night
rabblerabblesdklfjlk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:52:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that dead prostitute in the bath tub is not going to fuck herself one more time before being burried in the backyard.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because your tacky and I hate you"
cyanight7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dat reference is off the charts.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For reals though. "Whyyyeeee don't leeeave!" "I'm bored, your friends are boring, the music is too loud, people are doing it in the only bathroom, and you get annoying when you're drunk. Take your pick." I don't want to be a jerk, though, so I just say I'm tired.
cyanight7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I think:
"I don't want to listen to your conversation about things I don't care about with people I don't care about in a place I don't care for with people I don't particularly like all around me. And your internet is slow as hell. How do you even use this?"
What I say:
"Yeaah I have stuff to do tomorrow... better get off to sleep."
Jackyl9999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say you need to poop. It works.
cyanight7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I need to poop but am afraid of using your bathroom because I saw a toilet alligator in there"
SUCK_MY_DICK_THANKS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I pooped my pants and it's starting to smell"
cottoncandymaiden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My passive-aggressive response:
"Haha, if I stay any later, I'll turn into a pumpkin!"
What I mean:
"I want to go home and play video games with my husband, and then go to bed at a decent hour because I have shit to do tomorrow."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have these things called "responsibilities" that I have to fulfill tomorrow.
maxgarzo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually say this to people, but in a very disdainful and annoyed voice to convey that dread all/most of us have about getting up tomorrow.
"Why are you leaving??"
"Ahh man I gotta go be a fucking adult tomorrow, gaaah"
"hahah alright man, cya later"
Works every tiiiiime.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that is actually a good way to put it. Cool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the-nub ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:16:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know who's really fun at parties? The person who draws attention to people who are uncomfortable in party situations and makes them feel even worse.
They're so fun to be around at parties.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Omg why do you always leave the party so early!?!? Stay late and get drunk!!!!!!"
kuavi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why he/she is leaving them.
Ms_jingles ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the reason I stopped saying goodbye at parties! The "goodbye guilt" is a pain in the arse!
blacksun2012 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:19:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The vanishing act, I'm a pro.
Just last week I was hanging out with people, wasn't really feeling it, someone said "hey anybody want some food" I just said "yeah I think i have some at home" and walked out the door
mikeet9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's not a vanishing act. You told them where you were going.
blacksun2012 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:49:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It took them 20 mins to actually notice I left lol
rawrnnn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's kind of cold
blacksun2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was meant to be, I don't like being in the situation where everyone around me is smoking and drinking and completely ignoring me just because I'm sober. I no longer talk to those people.
sclion13 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:56:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call it ghosting and I'm a pro.
TimeyWimeyWho ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:43:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it back-dooring and I wrote the book. Found a way to do it without saying bye, no guilt, and not pissing anyone of.
ineedmymedicine ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:08:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
still have a reputation from college for being the "Citrona guy" (if you remember the commercials) because i would constantly ditch parties when I got too tired/drunk and would just walk home. Apparently I missed out on a lot of good times but owell.
bolt_snap_bolt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:44:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck it man. I've done this a lot of times. I was either extremely bored/messed up or just simply tired.
If I don't want to be at this party, then shouldn't get heat for wanting to leave.
Rinkydinky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also the, I know I'm gonna throw up so might as well get home beforehand.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A third of the time it was crazy as fuck, a third of the time is was pretty what the fuck, and a third of the time it was boring as fuck
mikeet9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who is famous for this. He visited me at college and we were out at the bars, then out of nowhere he was gone. When we got home he was asleep on the couch.
EngelbertHerpaderp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:42:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guilty of doing that when I entertain and people start leaving, but its never an arguement. It's just fucking annoying if the first person leaves early, because people are lemmings and follow shortly thereafter. Entertaining is expensive and guests make the occasion possible.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hint: if people are leaving like lemmings, then they were just looking for an excuse to leave anyway.
Go_Eagles_Go ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
EngelbertHerpaderp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I don't force anyone to come, and those that do don't attend because they feel forced. I throw great parties that are always fun. Everyone feels welcome and the food and libations flow freely. The issue is that someone leaving reminds them of the time. Then they remember they're "adults" and blah blah blah. It never fails - someone leaves at eleven, everyone's gone by midnight. The first leaves at midnight, everyone's gone by 12:30. No one leaves until 1:30, everyone's gone by 2am. It's a trigger. People aren't looking for an excuse to leave. It just serves as a reminder that its getting late. Since I'm in my mid 30's now, people are less inclined to just crash.
casual-nipples ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:22:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it 'the Phantom' and I am notorious in my friend group for it. I hate sloppy drunk goodbyes, when I'm ready to leave, I leave.
YOUNG_G0D ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:40:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friends who I went to HS with used to call med "The Legend", mainly b/c I always just seemed to randomly vanish. Little did they know, they annoyed me quite often. You couldn't have normal conversations; it was just random blurts of nonsense and then awkwardness.
The Legend sounds cool as fuck tho, so I'll live with it.
Olddirtychurro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If i really want to leave...the only people i greet are at the door. Buh bye.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey thanks we're going now"
"Alright seeya"
(party continues)
smencils ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The old Pink Panther Method
thespecialorange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think a lot of hosts do this so that the guest leaving doesn't think the host didn't care about them being there (which they probably didn't but it makes them feel good anyways)
scooby_noob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The Vanish Act," look it up. It's an actual law. In fact, it's based on a key tenant of the Party Constitution.
Corzaa31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I've always called it The Smoke Bomb.
daithice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately I haven't yet perfected it. I generally leave quite conspicuously and then just ignore all phone calls and deal with it the next day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine you fading into the bushes like Homer.
Artemissister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:41 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that--reminded me of Green Man. Green Man Homer.
szg0033 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sole reason why one of my friends is often referred to as "escape artist"
boss851 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call bailing on a party without announcing that your leaving "Batman'ing"
evenflow86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Because I don't like socialising anyway as it drains all of my energy and I've already maxed out my personal quota on one party per year at the most so I'm going now'.
.........is what I'd like to say. Realistically I just say I'm tired.
vannawhite_power ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh the old "Cherokee Fade"
remotefixonline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just yell really loud "hey everybody" when it gets quiet and everyone looks at you "I'm out"
devildocjames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because the poon is scarce and the food sucks.
zych2112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing better then the ole " I'm going to the bathroom " and then check out the front door lol
ShelfDiver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could pull off a Bill Murray and give a speech about the groom or bride then everyone cheers and celebrates the whoever while you quietly slip away into the background.
datapye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind this actually.
Shows people they care about me...right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We just want to be sure you feel bad. Welcome to stay, a jerk if you leave. Separation anxiety, most likely. We may never see each other again! Why didn't I ask him to stay?!?!
ryan924 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say I have to take a massive dump and don't want to clog up the host bathroom. Trust me, they won't ask any more questions
oofta31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. If I didn't have to explain myself, I wouldn't mind saying goodbye. It gets pretty ridiculous when I have to lawyer up and have a logical case for leaving early.
Lyeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then the endless 'oh we should catch up sometime.' 'oh yes! Dinner sometime?' 'Sure'
WITH EVERY DAMN PERSON.
Just let me leeeavvee.
Sknowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently I've taken a liking to vanishing when I'm drinking. My brother hosts parties somewhat often, and I join in. Instead of saying that I'm going to bed and saying goodnight or goodbye to whoever is still there, I just go upstairs without a word.
wbro322 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends are pretty used to it. If they don't see me for about 10 minutes then they know I've peaced out. I don't know why but i just can't bring myself to say bye at social events.
Artemissister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:11 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like interrupting something that's going on where everyone's having a good time. I'm not an Attention Whore, so I am perfectly okay with people looking elsewhere while I creep out.
statestreetsteve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to call it, the black dad
Jellooooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Vanish Act?
LeSnuffles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad?
LeeSeneses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man dude that sounds ultra clingy of them. Makes me cringe.
thenichi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I yell I'm out in the direction people I give a shit about and wave while walking out.
sophiatheworst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family does this. They all live in the same small town within a couple of blocks of each other (my brother actually lives next door to my mom)and I live 2 hours away with my husband and children, so when we come to visit we try to leave around 6 so that we're home by 8 (kid's bedtime). Everyone always freaks out like we should stay until midnight every time. It's like a damn fight just to leave!
gurugnu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite response to this was I shushed them and said "I can't tell you."
Chester_A_Arthritis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And its always said by someone you weren't talking to that much at the party.
Artemissister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. The host and hostess were ignoring me for hours until I decided to leave.
unclearsix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could up vote this more than once.
Arttherapist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've heard it called "the Irish exit" or "ghosting"
saywhaaaat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could always say from the get go that you can't stay too long because you'd already made other plans (that way A. You can't be guilted for leaving and B. It looks like you made extra effort to attend). Then, if the party is good, you can decide to stay.
hepcecob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People usually say that to make you feel wanted... they don't actually want to know why.
Corazon-DeLeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not an argument. They just enjoy your company, man.
Artemissister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:06 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in one case my allergy to the live Christmas tree had me wheezing and my eyes swelling shut. I couldn't breathe. I don't give a flying fuck if they were "enjoying my company" at that point.
ErrorGalaxy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what if nobody realized u were even their
Artemissister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:13 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how The Vanish Act began: I'd have conversations with half a dozen people, laugh, dance, have a great time, and the next day I'd have half the people ask me why I wasn't there. The fuck? We had a 20 minute convo! You don't fucking remember it?? jesus.
bitch_im_a_lion ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 18:30:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the socially acceptable one. As long as you let the host know that you enjoyed your time and that it is time for you to leave, then you've been polite. Leaving without any sort of goodbye to the host is the socially unacceptable behavior. IMO announcing your exit to everyone is douchy, but so many people do it, I'm not sure if it's socially acceptable or not.
Go_Eagles_Go ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta say bye to the host
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 20:05:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Roast_A_Botch ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:38:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If thanking someone for inviting you into their home, feeding you, getting you drunk, providing a place to meet hot chicks, etc. is "American nonsense", then I'm even more proud to be an American.
I have a nagging suspicion that most Europeans have a basic level of respect as well, and you're just an asshole.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you call elders "sir" when addressing them.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in a French accent with a "huwh huwh" at the end.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:02:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
qui qui
PatrickBecerra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:50:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you say goodbye and thank you to the host. If you don't, you're a fucking animal.
Dragontre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Party host and then whoever is on the way out the door is my rule.
sonofaresiii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just shout to the room. "Hey guys, I gotta roll, good seeing you!" and bail before anyone can manage to get close enough and give a hug and parting words and let's hang out again soon and whateverthefuck
Painting28people ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I think it's important to thank the host for having me, but besides that I just sneak out. Plus I don't want to draw attention to myself carrying all the beer and food I can fit in my arms as I leave
my_love ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I hate those people that have to say goodbye to literally every person attenting the party. Its mostly just a way to seek attention for people that are full of themselves.
zopiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My "parties" are just some close friends. I still dip out wordlessly half the time.
But maybe that's just anxiety.
ders89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you're generous. I'll dip and text them like, "yo I'm out."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
does someone actually go around to everyone and tell them theyre leaving? I would probably think theyre really self obsessed or narcistic thinking everyone at the party must know theyre leaving.
Saying bye to the host is just good manners since you can thank them for the evening at the same time, and you might as well say bye to any close friends as well so they dont go around looking for you after youve left.
ASK_ME_IF_I_AM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm afraid of saying, "I'm leaving now" only to hear "Good."
HouseWilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say bye to the host and the close friends, then as I leave I yell "G'BYE" and throw a small wave. Thats plenty.
DishwasherTwig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just turn and give a wave with a moderately loud "See yah" to the whole room.
Adddicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I've always done it. I had no idea doing so was in any way socially unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you're still being socially acceptable. That's not frowned upon unlike just vanishing all together. Because, if ancillary people notice you're gone, at the least the people hosting the part can confirm your departure vs. KabukiBaconBrulee. hth
sothatsathingnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the absolute best way to do it. Making a big scene about leaving can cause other people to start thinking about leaving too. It basically starts a chain reaction that ends with the host hanging out alone cleaning up half eaten cheese trays before 9pm. Way to be courteous. You rock sir or madam.
Wearenotacodfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, host and close friends only.
If I didn't let my friends know I was leaving they would feel responsible for finding me and making sure I was safe and hadn't passed out in a garden or drowned in a swimming pool.
Aside from that I just generally wave "bye" as I stride away.
supahflyTNT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have found great success in not interrupting peoples conversation by making eye contact and flashing a peace sign. Unless it is someone I actually want to say a goodbye to(old friend I haven't seen, hot girl who's # i want, etc.) I just flash a peace sign and make eye contact.
TheCarterIII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to have a serious chat with my girlfriend
attrox_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time, my friend and his girlfriend is the first couple to leave early. Ill simply time my leaving after him. People only remember them for leaving early.
hellions123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
rawrnnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck, this is "socially unacceptable things you are ok with" not "completely socially normative things for you to circlejerk over".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After saying goodbye to the host and friends, I give it one big wave and "alright guys, have a good night!" from the door.
PonkyBreaksYourPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my dad always used to go around saying goodbye to EVERYONE and then start fucking conversations, lucky if we got out 2 hours later
Tuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would want a servant that announces my comings and goings for me.
tarheel343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before you leave just yell "Catch ya later, alligator!"
Entire party attempts to cram into trainspotting2's car
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:08:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every attempt at a meta joke is a winner.
ELPAPERTOWEL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely hate it when people make a big scene when they are leaving. Who cares just go, you're talking over the music or disrupting my conversation.
GeminiK ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:00:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I yell something to the effect of "Yo I'm out, peace." as Im walking out the door. I get some "see ya later" as I'm closing the door. And thats it. I said goodbye, those that cared said good bye I'm out.
[deleted] ยท 2026 points ยท Posted at 15:13:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when you have to say goodbye to each individual person there before you leave. This is proper etiquette in my family. You can't just wave goodbye to everyone and walk out the door. You have to hug and cheek kiss each person. I fucking hate it.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 608 points ยท Posted at 15:15:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just silly. You end up spending almost as much time catching up as saying g goodbye
Panda_pandiqua ยท 691 points ยท Posted at 17:55:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah not to mention you have to say good bye twice in my family. The first time is when your mom says your leaving. And the second is when you're actually walking out of the door about half an hour later when your mom is finished talking.
Blues2112 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:58:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is your Mom my wife?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:43:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you're a Mexican guy with a mustache.
Blues2112 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Son?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:16:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, your daughter. Hey Papi!
gocereal ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:47:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did I black out and write this?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:55:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"uhhh, guys, did I just wake up from a coma?"
CynicalFloridian ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username, probably?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:38:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. You did. I'm the Brad Pitt to your Edward Norton.
AKADidymus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did I?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:38:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Panda_pandiqua ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:41:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that happened on Grad night. I had two hours before the busses left for Knott's Berry Farm and we spent 5 minutes getting to a Jack's 30 minutes eating and 45 minutes leaving. That damn place.
buchk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you make it?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did and I stayed awake for a full 24 that day and finally crossed it off my bucket list.
But it wasn't her far and for some reason they made us pair up as same sex buddies for the bus ride. So that took a huge chunk of time
buchk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't even get a post-grad busride tuggie. Tough breaks
Panda_pandiqua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually now that you mention it that's probably why they separated us by gender.
But the log ride was unlimited and you never had to get off if there was no line. So probably happened anyway.
buchk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll sleep better believing that it did
Panda_pandiqua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glad to have helped
Harry101UK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally.
zack4200 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:20:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh, is your mom my mom?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope I don't have a brother named Zack. They could be related though. Are you also a Mexican?
zack4200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm not... I was just making a joke though, just sayin that my mom is the exact same way lol
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol didn't think you were. Apparently its a very common thing though.
I thought it was just a Hispanic thing. I guess not
Ataya970 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:36:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are.. Are you me?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Yes I am. I'm you, from the future.
Don't buy that pair of pants. It won't end well...
LeeSeneses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This must be getting old to reply to for you. But, hey! You're mixing up some good responses like a champ!
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
I'm finally learning to reddit I guess. All that sweet, sweet Karma is making me feel like a champ. Most up voted comment evaaaaaaa!
Ataya970 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thank god
What would I do without you future-me?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buy those pants and get into a horrible accident I suppose.
sullyman94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh same it happens all the time.
gpace1216 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife will text me 2 hours before she wants to leave so that I can get the "goodbye" train started.
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two hours?!?! Jesus Christ
RepublicOfCake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Filipino?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nope. Mexican.
Spain ruled both our countries though. So there's that.
seandan317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dam that shit hits close to home
frozenGrizzly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha, it's great being a kid, huh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are- are you my mom?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm your sister. So which of the 6 are you?
itchy_puss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you must be greek... or italian.
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mexican actually. Based on peoples responses it's way more common than I previously thought.
People keep chiming in saying "oh you must be insert country/race here."
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, the 20-40 minutes later thing. I remember being a kid and dad takes us out to the car. We wait, and wait. Dad goes back in. We wait some more.
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy yeah. I don't even say good bye to anyone until she's at the front door.
She'll come around every half hour to let me know we're going to be leaving at X time and I'm just like "yeah cool, mom. Ill say bye when were leaving"
FF3LockeZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only twice? Amateurs. My parents are friends with a couple who, when they leave a party, will stand in the doorway "saying goodbye" for an average of an hour and a half.
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeesh. I'd go out the back way if I had to deal with that at every party
anonymoose_octopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me? This just brought me back to 10 year old me every time we left our cousins' house. They're a large family. And they lived LITERALLY 2 houses down from us. Why do we have to say goodbye for 30 minutes when we know we'll see each other again probably tomorrow night for dinner??
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Because its rude otherwise mijo! They're going to think I didnt raise you right" Or dumb shit like that. I was next door neighbors with my aunt and we would still do the long goodbyes. Even though I would use the ladder to hop the fence and just play in their back yard every day anyway.
_Wisely_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what people are doing with my stem cells? Making new reddit accounts?
Panda_pandiqua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why yes. Yes we are.
Neyheshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the Mexican goodbye.
Panda_pandiqua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its always fun making the rounds in a small living room with far too many people in it and bumping into everything and everyone. Just so you can get to the older people. Because if you don't say good bye to them they'll never let your parents live it down.
Nephita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And the second is when you're actually walking out of the door about half an hour later when your mom is finished talking"
Iยดm sure youยดre Brazilian...
Panda_pandiqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Mexican who lives in the US. Perhaps it's a Latin American thing
Babyelephantstampy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew you were Mexican. Been there, done that, got the shirt.
Panda_pandiqua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have t-shirts? Why didn't I get mine in the mail? Was there a rebate form I didn't send in after eating over 1,000,000 burritos?
ThisIs_MyName ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:46:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Classic indian family.
teachmelaughter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:27:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Start saying goodbye when you get there, quick party
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still too long, imo.
cbraun1523 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my family we call it a Midwest Goodbye. You start by saying you have to leave, one or two people get up, start to walk towards the exit, but then stop to talk to more people. you then have a conversation at the door, outside the door, by the car, once more time as people pile in, and then you finally get to leave.
obvious_bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's some deep metaphor in there
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, is that what I'm supposed to be doing at family gatherings?
I usually just sit there reading my Kindle.
Brikachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad has 9 siblings, each of whom have multiple kids. Can confirm.
Lyeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It takes a bloody hour. My significant other's family does this and I have to go 'ok when do I really want to be out the door. Ok we have to start saying good by about 45 minutes before that...'
It's awful.
Caponer95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the time you're repeating everything you said at the hello
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walk in, start conversation and end with "Nice seeing you, hope I'll see you at the next get together". Meet and greet and goodby all in one.
CompletePlague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
besides, how many different ways can you say goodbye? How many of them can you come up with on the spot when shaking 50 hands?
notLOL ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:12:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when it resets. Fuck those goodbye resets
cleverlogic ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:22:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have Spanish side of family, can confirm!
YoungAdult_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:12:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just blow my trumpet and announce my departure.
frickindeal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have people to do that for you?
Commoner.
SquillDiggles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:58:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is really funny for me because I'm the type to just say "Welp, laters!" and leave, but my girlfriend is the exact opposite because of upbringing and personality. It usually leads to me standing waiting for several minutes looking like a jackass while everyone appreciates her sociability. Then when she's done I sling another "OK, byyyeeee" for good measure.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family insists on this also and it drives me insane, I've started just saying personal goodbyes to my grandpa and mom and waving goodbye at the rest, if anyone wants to beat me to the door and get a hug, so be it.
Kalashnikov124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, I'm gonna use this now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It works pretty well, one or two family members will rush to the door and say goodbye if they really want to and the rest stay where they are.
Neeves ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:35:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this but now I send the kids around to say bye while I enjoy one more beer; down it if they're almost done and give everyone a wave.
McFreedom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:45:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exponentially more painful when there's 3 people you haven't spoken to the entire time. Now you have to do the weird awkward hello-goodbye conversation while being careful to avoid the big elephant in the room.
EllisDee_4Doyin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I go in for a hug
"OMG I didn't know you were here! I wish I had seen you sweetie!"
"Well goodbye!"
"Oh gosh yes. I hope to see you again soon"
We actually hug
"Don't be a stranger. When do you think you'll be visiting next?"
There for another 30 mins because of everyone I have to have this conversation with....
DrDaddy007 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when i was a kid and i had to do the same or that would be taken as a non respectful act. However i kept doing it even if everybody (incl my parents ) would start yelling and stuff till i proved my method and nobody can tell me anything now.
prodromic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have to leave at 10? Tell them you have to leave by 9. Boom. Problem solved.
mardybum17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yup, family says we're leaving...half an hour later we're just barely getting to the door...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you are brown arent you?
cause i can confirm this cause thats the type of shit i need to do to at parties and thats why i stop going to these family parties or staying for them at my house when my parents hosted them as i got in my 20's or so
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm Macedonian but I know a lot of families of different ethnicities have similar etiquette.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ohh ok true say
but ya i totally get you bro and thats why i just dont go to these functions anymore
just not my scene and totally boring too!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:06:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to skip out on some of them but that's a big no no as well. Plus I do like spending time with my family.
EllisDee_4Doyin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:20:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking. Ethnic. Families.
sigh I feel you bro
CF4CFThrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, same here. Large traditional italian family.
Killabyte5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time just dip out and see what happens!
curly1022 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried this at house parties, at least to the host and friends that were there and usually ended up staying another hour to smoke more weed.
Fr33Paco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, friends and family.
maeshughes32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then there is always one person you miss who was in the bathroom or something and they get pissy cause you didn't say bye to them.
SilasX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure only Brazil requires that.
JestaKilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that! I have a "quick escape" policy- I don't do long goodbyes.
RSTROMME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minnesotan?
sactech01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to make me do this at family events as a kid, I hated it
Shoesfromtexas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the way it is with my in-laws. Our exit at the end of our wedding took a lot longer than I wanted. It wasn't okay with them for us to wave at everyone and leave.
mountainstainer_45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i hate this, in my hometown we had a great habit that solved it: you knock on the table so you get everyones attention, say goodbye and fuck off
mermaidfart08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my family too. One time I forgot someone and that person was butthurt for a while about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
22 years with my Jewish family and I now refer to this as the Jewish Goodbye. It takes my mom and dad at least 20 minutes to leave any family function or party with close friends.
come_on_seth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may come to realize how lucky you are
douseenow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just yell bye into a room. No one can say I didn't say bye that way. And real goodbyes only to people on my way out bc it is too weird to walk bye and ignore them.
Frictus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same as my family! Ill hug/kiss the host and my grandparents. Everyone else gets a big ol wave and "bye everybody". I am naturally quiet so most people don't hear me anyways.
XSplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Leaving already?"
"Well no. It's just that the Goodbye ceremony takes half an hour. I'm starting it now."
shinzantetsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as an introverted aspie,i hate saying goodbye so much.it can be very awkward for me.
dallashenley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am very glad you said something about this. Having a large family (10 aunts and uncles and 30 cousins) it can take forever to finally leave it is so annoying.
jsimmerdown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my family too. but I don't do it, because as we both agree it's bullshit. they can deal with it if they have a problem.
Hairyhulk-NA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. And if you're the first one to leave, people are all "What?! Already!?" and then the minute after that first person leaves, it becomes like a race for the rest of us to not be the last ones there.
buckydean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my family we call this a minnesota goodbye. Takes 2 hours to leave, and you still have gramma chasing you down the road with leftovers
dragontail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it just depends on whether or not you grew up around it. I grew up late in the previous generation of my family, so everyone was more or less dead by the time I could do cool things.
Going to a big family gathering at a gf's or friend's house was amazing.
pushforwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spain? Because I have been in Spain for 4 months now, and it was exciting at first - but now try saying good-bye to all the girls in the group.
Gotta have that double-cheek-kiss
Pugon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! My wife and her siblings have a competition on who is going to be the last to leave family gatherings. Guess they are trying to convince the parents they have the most love. Makes me ill. I frickin hate her family gatherings.
cats_in_the_cradle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god leaving the in laws place takes a full hour. I've learned that if I want to be in bed by 11pm we have to head towards the door at about 8:30pm
jayboosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's family is like this. I refuse to play the game. I make fun of them about it even. So now I wave byyyyyyyyyyyy and just leave and if they do the everyone says good bye thing I just say bye Ian bye bye bye bye hey Ian byeeeee bye bye bye Ian have a good one bye Ian is my wife's cousin, and he's in on it and just says bye jayboosh every time I say bye Ian. Fuck people like this. A wave covers everyone.
ailurophobian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a good way to catch a cold.
ReleaseTheRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christ, this is the reason why I get anxiety whenever I go to my in-laws house. I grew up in a non-touchy-feely household. Basically just blurt out the word "bye" as you're walking out the door. But now I've married into exactly what you describe. I have to walk around hugging and kissing all the females on the cheek and shaking all the guys hands. Just let me leave for fucks sake.
Kalashnikov124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is common in my polynesian family. It's like, guys, I love you but I just wanna go home after being here for 4 hours.
gringledoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this traumatized me in my overly-literal youth.
I'd be at some social event just counting the seconds until we could leave. And then it would be time to leave!
...but leaving took forever. First you have to say goodbye to everyone near where you're sitting, and then you have to go find everyone else and say goodbye, and then you have to have the goodbye conversation by the door, and then the goodbye conversation at the car...
Sheer torture!
Rice2018 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds Hispanic. I know the struggle
cerebralshrike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to parties back in the day hosted by eses. When you arrive you have to give everyone the crazy multi-step handshake. When you leave you have to do the same. It was a workout.
Top_Wop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a must in my big Italian family. God forbid you should slight someone and forget to say goodbye.
littlebetenoire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when you're the sober driver and the drunk person you're driving home has to say goodbye to every person there.
foxhole_atheist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Particularly if you have a French family. Two, or sometimes four, cheek kisses to each person for hello and again for goodbye. A wave will not suffice.
rawrnnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't do it
bootresha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Family cooties for everyone!
nothanksjustlooking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did I travel back in time and write this? No, that's stupid, I'd remember it. Anyway, future me, what you will eventually learn is that if you wait and extra 5-10 minutes, your kid will get cranky and you can use that as an excuse to just pick him up and announce from right in front of the front door, "Ampersand is really tired and cranky, we're going. Happy whatever!" Works every time.
CptAustus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And every 5 meters you have to have some long talk again.
AdamGeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haitian?
violetxrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad I grew up with a family of misanthropes.
driveonacid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my family, the goodbye also comes with a kiss. You have to kiss everybody.
jem1332 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Filipino?
Fun_Hat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hispanic?
Gneissisnice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's family is very huggy, gotta hug everyone before leaving.
It's so weird coming from my family. We all care about each other, but we don't hug, we just say "bye" and leave.
Just__1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Dad was one of 12. 28 first cousins on that side and now a bunch of those cousins have kids. I used to get anxiety from it especially when I was real young.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love my family like crazy but, we have to make the rounds too. If we tried leaving with a " 'Kay, later, love ya!" That would just be unacceptable!
startingover1008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the goodbyes that take an hour, because you say you're going to leave and then the conversation continues. If I say goodbye, it's because I'm, you know, leaving.
thisguy883 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GO SAY BYE TO GRANDMA!
cjluthy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:25:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could just STOP doing that, you know.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:06:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and then have my whole family get on my case about how rude I am and never let me live it down. Do you know how big of an insult it is to Eastern Europeans to do such a thing?
AeAeR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call these "Polish Goodbyes" in my family for this exact reason. You've got to commit at least a half hour to leaving any sort of family gathering.
F_urOpinion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:57:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like doing that. An individual goodbye just seems proper for me.
theshadowblot ยท 4396 points ยท Posted at 14:19:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too am the master of the "sneak out." So much easier and quicker than trying to say goodbye. My wife hates it when I leave her and the kids there.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1746 points ยท Posted at 14:28:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys need a code word(s). My SO and I tried "the look" and one of us always fails to notice. We now go into social situations with an emergency exit strategy.
bryan_sensei ยท 229 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's a small party then we always thank the host for the invite and offer to help clean up. But at a big event (wedding, etc) sometimes it's best just to bolt.
Our decision usually goes like this:
Me: IGB? (Irish Goodbye)
Wife: IGB (nods head)
We both exit the wedding/party. If we pass the host we thank them and tell them we're off, if not we just keep going.
hamfraigaar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:56:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah telling the host goodbye is polite, but I don't see any reason to have to say goodbye to everyone, either. As a kid, I'd be forced to say goodbye to every single person, no matter if there were 8 or 80 of them. The ones I never even said hi to, too. My dad still gives me shit if I just book it at family events.
FullmentalFiction ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:55:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an uncle that just ups and leaves at anything in a group larger than 5 people. Everyone in the family thought it was incredibly rude but I never really cared. Then again, when you go to a family reunion with 60+ people and every single damn one of them (even those you've never met before) expects a hello and goodbye as well as a 10 minute conversation at one point, It's no wonder he perfected the art of sneaking out. I want to do that sometimes too, but I happen to be really bad at sneaking in general (also my dad would kill me if I did that at a family gathering).
AttheCrux ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:42:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an Irish person,
I've never heard of an Irish Goodbye, what is it referring to?
bryan_sensei ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:55:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't be offended.
AttheCrux ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:05:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah, I see.
Well, it was going to be drinking, theft or violence, I suppose this is the best outcome.
barcode1555 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, since it's 1 with implied 3.
AttheCrux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was being magnanimous.
We're not supposed to be offended after all.
coaringrunt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: in Germany we call this act 'doing a Polish'.
Impal0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or 'French goodbye', probably because a French guy once snuck out before a pipe organ battle with J.S. Bach.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call it 'Pulling a Houdini'.
barcode1555 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking christ.
AttheCrux may be taking it OK but I am finding it seriously offensive.
Slyj0ker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more offended about you engaging in intercouse with our Lord and savior.
barcode1555 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:41:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, but I am Irish and you aren't Christ.
Radvila ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you guys.
relevantusername- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait I'm Irish what's this about a goodbye?
greffedufois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, once the first 'bye' happens you're in for another half hour of talking while saying bye at least.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that racist? Just wondering.
[deleted] ยท 4030 points ยท Posted at 15:54:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
captain__cabinets ยท 229 points ยท Posted at 16:30:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus it everywhere ! I was just in that thread
TerminusEst86 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:43:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really, truly is.
kilroyishere89 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:04:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to be one of those overdone memes that reddit will run into the ground, then continue beating.
demanthing ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:16:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So all of them.
CapnBadass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:39:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you fax me an example of that?
Darkersun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoop there it is.
sir_mrej ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed out loud at that. That was like what? A few months ago? So recent in real time but "a long time ago" in internet time.
TwoFiveOnes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Together, we can make it so.
ErnestMorrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which thread was that?
Danni293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used it and got downvoted... Though I'm really glad to see that the whole subreddit has gone meta.
Blithe17 ยท 1099 points ยท Posted at 16:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2meta4me
BrownShadow ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 19:20:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get in the car.
superniceguyOKAY ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 20:39:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i hate that I know all of this... what a shitty monday
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:48:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
poo_is_hilarious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...crocodile!
Am I doing this right?
frame_of_mind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Raep time!
cardboard-dinghy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and don't touch nothing Sit in the car
ProjectionA51 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:44:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I missed something meta? Link?
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:06:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ProjectionA51 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:10:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks m8.
_Kramerica_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too much reddit for me.
CSMastermind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm So Meta Even This Acronym
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:25:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
XxsquirrelxX ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doot doot
Circasftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Explain?
Blithe17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3d49py/what_happened_to_you_when_you_were_young_that_you/ct1nj42
NotJawadTuran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I've missed out... where is this from :(
Blithe17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3d49py/what_happened_to_you_when_you_were_young_that_you/ct1nj42
Space_Polan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5me
7_EaZyE_7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:48:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks
poptart2nd ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:19:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not meta, just a reference. learn what words mean before you use them.
Apex_Pred ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:09:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno why you're getting downvoted; I was under the impression that meta implies that the reference is from the same thread.
poptart2nd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i mean, even that's the wrong definition but it's closer than "a reference to literally anything else that exists on reddit." people just like using memetic buzzwords to sound cool, and hate when people call them out on their bullshit.
Blithe17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If people understand the meaning and still find it funny, does it matter? I understand where you are coming from but is using the correct meaning of a word when making a joke important?
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:39:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Solomaxwell6 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:47:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and that's even the song title!
JahlilOkaforGOAT ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:52:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've also only heard see
MrGMinor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah cause that's what it is shawty.
wildcard1992 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:28:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a reference
TerminusEst86 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:41:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
เฒ _เฒ
ichegoya ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:54:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I SAID CATCH YA LATER SUSAN, SO I'LL SEE YOU IN THE CAR.
Lemon30 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:22:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a while, crocodile.
wwsxdrfv ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:45:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/cole_56 is wrong. It is "see" and it comes from a song.
cole_56 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:53:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the comment was referring to was another ask reddit where someone said their code phrase with their parents was "Catch you later, alligator."
wwsxdrfv ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:31:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, haha, I didn't realize he was referencing another thread
Valkyrie21 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:17:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that was fast.
iwtwe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:34:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol i just came from that thread
PyroPakratt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whats this from. what am i missing?
ChesterHiggenbothum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Different askreddit thread. The one about things that happened to you as a kid and didn't understand until you were older. One person was almost abducted, but the abducter didn't know the secret phrase: Catch ya later, alligator.
nill0c ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After a while crocodile.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid I said see you later alligator to my dad and he replied with after while crocodile and it blew my 7 year old mind
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:18:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RocketCow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alligator Masturbator seems to be a fitting codeword.
ajbpresidente ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meta as fuck
ITiswhatITisforthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YAY McDonalds!!!!!!!!!
-Best_Name_Ever- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now get in the rape van.
mivipa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you get raped at McDonald's.
totallytopanga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this has been used so many times already now!
PhilTheNarwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now get in the van.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why can't it be "see"
MRguitarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So meta
Suwannee_Gator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, see ya.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
glitch in the matrix
wbotis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understood that reference.
TheBlueSpartan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the code word was always "peaches"?
Dead_Like_Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a while crocodile
T-two ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear, got kidnapped.
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meta erryday
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only applies if at a children's birthday party and want to unofficially adopt a kid.
darthfadar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sick reference
Toa_Ignika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a thing now?
raturinesoupgang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling this is going to become universal code talk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See ya soon, Baboon.
deltawing921 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a while, crocodile.
bahawkx2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insert Captain America "I understood that Reference!".JIF.MEME
wracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow, a joke on reddit i understand!
Titobeans91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was wondering when id see this agin...
Lolmomos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say see.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful!!
tb01110100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
0-meta in only 1.5 hours!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to be the new Paul Blart.
Lebowskii ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend and I use code words. Its "when do you work tomorrow?" You answer early if you want to leave as well, some midmorning time if you want to stay for just a bit longer, or say you dont if you want to stay or if you want to put the ball in their court.
boomfunk_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:52:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our code phrase is "these pretzels are making me thirsty"
joelikesmusic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you need a handsignal / touch pattern code.
my wife and I use a pattern that we can tap on things or each other unnoticed.
the pattern is what I've heard called 'let's go rally clap' - i briefly searched for a link but couldn't find a good example. think of it like 1 2, 1,2,3 or tap tap pause tap tap tap.
i can casually place my arm around her and give a quick tap with my hand without anyone seeing or at least noticing. for us it's the " hey - i'm ready to go, either we exit or I'm uber-ing home' . This doesn't mean sprint out the door but just start wrapping it up.
if it's just me then "ghost" or irish goodbye works too.
BrewCrewKevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Joe come on, you even like music.
My wife and i do 2 taps on the back, as if saying "let's go. " works wonders!
blamb211 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hippopotamus."
"We have to go..."
BurningPickle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bye, honey! See ya later!"
"Don't you dare leave me here with your mother!"
Aridzona ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I developed a system where a different number of light, discreet taps had certain meanings.
two taps = let's go soon three taps = we need to leave NOW four taps = WTF is that person saying?! five taps = love ya
DCJ3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two taps on the back mean "I'd like to go soon." Works nicely.
Santay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember another thread where someone said that in those situations, he and his wife call each other by a pet name that is otherwise unused.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I have a secret code, where we'll look at each other and gently tug our earlobe. That means, "I'm ready to leave"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your apartment flooded? But wait, you don't need two of you to check the damage.
Walter_Malone_Carrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just imagining you two blowing open the door SWAT team style.
CarlaWasThePromQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abra-Cadabra
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
C4 is a good exit strategy.
thehumanear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the final moment of Mad Max: Fury Road is "the look"
Spicy_Poo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I do the ear pull from Garden State. Works well.
sassyfoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People always called my husband and I "fast leavers." For us, "the look" always worked. But, now I have to go to a lot of school and social functions with my daughter; we have a code word that works every time.
talktochuckfinley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be great if we all had a little personal device that could send and receive text based messages?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this got a lot easier after texting became a normal thing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I have two hand signals: Discreetly tapping your watch, or twirling your index finger in the "wrap it up" motion. The trick is doing them without anyone noticing.
allothernamestaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy and I in college had a signal when we went to parties: we would look at each other from across the room, raise our fists up next to our heads, and pull them down like a fighter pilot ejecting, as a signal to "bail out."
samusmaster64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My SO of the time and I had a not too uncommon, but specific enough word to signal to the other when we wanted to leave and gathering or event without being too blunt or rude to the hosts - "apricot"
GuyFaux37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I have code words for everything. If we're at a party and want to leave early/feel uncomfortable, one of us just mentions how we left the ice cream on the counter and have to head back. Perfect solution for social anxiety.
Sigfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ours is "Omaha"
JMets6986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pats head repeatedly while in boring conversation
Mark_Zajac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Estes Kefauver or paramecium
Fin2222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always used the "I like your shirt" if I'm in conversation with a girlfriend as being code for "I want to leave". As in if we are in a group of people and she tells me she likes my shirt, I start saying my quick goodbyes to who I need to then we buck.
revrigel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife likes to do the Natalie Portman earlobe pull from Garden State.
StrikeAnywherePanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have a secret word. Then we had to change it cause people caught on.
ChillFax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our code word: Banana
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I have to return some videotapes"
cup-o-farts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man one of my Aunts had the perfect get away signal. Look at uncle, pull on ear lobe and tap the nose. Ear Nose. Irnos
cosmotheassman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to start patting you head.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was a joke...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family uses "pulling the chute" wherein you mimic pulling the rip cord on a parachute when you need to get out of a conversation.
flyingseel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A signal is better. Just pat yourself on the head.
snyto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Queen puts her handbag on the floor.
Gutterlungz1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dated this girl for a short while and our code to leave was 3 knocks on something or three taps on your glass with your finger or whatwver. It could be a question and an answer so I could ask her if she was ready to bail if we were infront of people and I didn't want to be rude.
koryisma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will just ask if he is tired. Gives him an out. Not awkward if others hear it.
gtfomylawnplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: Some people don't say "Wife, it's time to go I'm sick of these people" but instead have "code words" they say.
Run_bish_ruuun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ours is "Blackhawk down"
ewige ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Troll the respawn, Jeremy.
Phoenixster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Needing to take the dog for a walk is an excellent escape plan. Even works if you don't have a dog...
thebornotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend and I have nailed the look. It's rad.
Shidell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should adopt the "1-2-3" signal.
One means Yes, Two means No, Three means Go.
You can use it by patting on the back, squeezing a hand, knocking on a table, tapping a foot... once you start using it together, you can use it everywhere, and implement it so discretely that it's difficult to pick up on.
At Grandmas and she wants you to stay for dinner? "Hmm.." and knock twice on the side table you're resting your hand on, next to your drink. Wife quips, "We've got a roast in the crockpot at home, and speaking of which..."
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mastremarx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pull your ear lobe
moleratical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just begin to pour a forty right where I'm standing and sing alopecia, my wife knows what this means.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I dropped my curlywirly"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Cyanide72 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:16:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Already going meta
guceubcuesu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:47:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our code is "see Ya later alligator"
sungawd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:12:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe i haven't been in a relationship long enough.. but me and my SO when we are around each other are constantly looking at each other
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:46:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just say let's go.
the18thtee ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:13:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The good ole irish exit. I have used that many times as a way to avoid the awkward goodbyes.
hadababyitzaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was told the "Irish Exit" is when you're too drunk to interact anymore so you just leave. The "French Leave" is when you're just too rude to say goodbye.
the18thtee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, well, either way I have done both
brycon2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:00:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did this too! If only he came back after :/
Honduran ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it "The Smoke Bomb" around here.
HiimCaysE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Rhett Fantastic, after our pioneering friend who did this at every party, meet up, hang out, get together, social event he was at. He was amazingly consistent and undetectable until he was gone.
Vin436 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i just say say "I better get going" and leave. A few minutes later they ask each other where I am.
gazeebo88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How would you know if you left...?
HiimCaysE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He peered into the window behind the bushes to gauge the reactions.
Dusty_Star ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother refers to it as the "ninja" - if he wants to leave a party without everyone doing the typical "oh no stay for one more drink" etc etc, he'll just leave.
Never fails.
cjmook21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's officially called the Irish Exit I think.
BobDylanBlues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm from we call it the Houdini.
wee_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also known as the "Irish Exit".
Maskeregen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can only imagine the stories you must have of ditching your family in those situations. xD
shamelessnameless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's some kind of German or other non English word that precisely describes the need to sneak out just as things are getting big, I do this too as well actually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once left like that... People actually looked around the house for me because they thought I had only left the room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is something I hated about my ex. He had to go around and do a chatty goodbye to everyone at a party and could never gtfo of any situation in under 15 minutes. He would end up interrupting half the conversations at a party, one by one, with his awkward goodbye. I would be standing next to the door like "DUDE. They don't give a shit that we're leaving. They're not going to miss us! Just COME ON."
APartyInMyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it "The Shady Bounce."
WiredEgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Irish exit.
QBEagles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was good at this too. I remember when I was nine he left a family Christmas party without saying goodbye. No one noticed until later that night.
I wish he'd come home.
Just_pick_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always call it the "Canadian Exit"
walterdonnydude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Irish Goodbye as they say
AManAPlanInPakistan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The old "Irish Goodbye". My favorite exit strategy.
Barryzuckerkorn_esq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its called the irish goodbye. Me and my friends perfected it and try to one up the other on how smoothly you can pull it off.
theevilnarwhale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The old Irish goodbye
prplx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: to "sneak out" of a party is called "the french" exit in english. In French? "Filer ร l'anglaise" (to leave the english way).
nevaknownation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also known as the Irish goodbye
J_Pinehurst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Irish Goodbye
SAGuy90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called ninja bombing.
DanceFactory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called an Irish Exit.
squazify ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am the master of the kicked out.
DersTheChamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You ever had to deal with Minnesota goodbyes? Your quick and awkward attempt at leaving turned into another 15 minute conversTion
BlueZek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sneak out, but I found a sweet compromise between being able to leave and not being hassled for it. Start going to the door and shout "Yo, I'm out!" while you're leaving.
jacobabob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try Goku
fib16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it called the "Irish exit"
killer8424 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Irish exit, if you will.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like using the phrase "sketch bounce" for this tactic.
isuckcock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called a French Exit in Portlandia
elchalupa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my wife and my friends circle it's called ghosting. We have gained a reputation for it, so now it's almost expected!
Tundra66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I call it the "Classic Bail" and we do it whenever it suits us.
ailurophobian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just make my way to the door give a general "bye" to everyone, wave in thr general direction from the door and walk out before anyone has anytime to react/respond.
laf10c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
especially when you're the one who drove
BullsLawDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irish Goodbye, it's called.
kit_carlisle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an Irish Goodbye, if you ever wanted to know the term.
longslowclap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also known as the "Irish goodbye."
NoMoreBoozePlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also called the Irish exit
SouthernSmoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ol' Irish Goodbye
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No wonder they call you the shadow.
can_i_see_dem_tatas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to call it the "Houdini"
2059FF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is that one person always finishes up their goodbyes, and the other person is still in one, then they finish but the other got snapped up etc... I just say goodby to one or two people and walk to the car... even if I don't have the keys.
R3cko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friends and I call it "Ninja dusting"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father and I work the same. We give a ten minute warning to the people we came with, and they have ten minutes to say their goodbyes. I warm up my car.
bertcakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, it's called the Irish goodbye.
biosc1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just know it will take my wife 30-45 minutes to leave a party and plan accordingly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Irish goodbye"
RJism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to call it the "shady bounce"
saramace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my husband do this every time. I mean, no one's gonna remember, and they're definitely not gonna care if they do.
therealschlotty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We in the biz call that a "trap door".
richardec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You party with your wife and kids. She has no complaints.
righteousmoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called "ghosting".
The14thBaron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad calls this highly advanced technique the 'ninja smoke bomb.' I hope I have inherited his great skills.
PFnewguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It already has a name: Irish goodbye.
alleyoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The classic Irish exit.
SanFransicko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call that the Irish goodbye. We say goodbye to the small group we're talking to, maybe the host, then hit the front door. At least that's the way my family taught me. The other way is the English goodbye.
casketballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what we call an Irish Exit
TheGreatGuidini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called The Irish Exit
FrankiePoops ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its called an "irish exit."
Shadowex3 ยท 1402 points ยท Posted at 15:43:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm jewish... we can't do this. We do the opposite, we say goodbye without actually leaving.
tenehemia ยท 2154 points ยท Posted at 21:16:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Jewish and Minnesotan. I think I'm still technically attending a Seder from 1997.
MC5EVP ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 00:23:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Minnesotan too. "The Minnesota a goodbye" is horrible.
IAmA_Lannister ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 01:09:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walk outside of restaurant with relatives, everybody says goodbye to each other, proceed to converse for the next 45 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:46:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, is this just a Minnesota thing!? Lived here my whole life, thought it happened everywhere
IAmA_Lannister ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:53:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, everything is a "Minnesotan thing" to a Minnesotan.
norskie7 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:30:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's just a Minnesotan thing, don't ya know?
OdoyleStillRules ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yah, off course.
NecroJoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have something close in Wisconsin. The "women" will say they are ready to hit the road, and the guys will stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counters, chatting. The men think that they are waiting for the women, and are ready to go because they are standing and can stop their conversation at any moment...and the women think that, because the men are still talking and haven't said "good bye" to each other, that they are not yet ready to leave.
goombalover13 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:51:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's cause they have so many damn quirks. They are the only people who still think crocs are in style, they say duck duck gray duck instead of duck duck goose, and they call them hot dishes, not casseroles. Minnesotans are weird.
Edit: apparently crocs are not in style. My sources must be wrong. Or they are worn ironically.
mckillgore ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:22:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait, it's just us that says duck duck gray duck? I'm gonna need to lie down and take this in for a moment
ganlet20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like your the only ones to do a lot of things.
Then again where I'm from we put fries in our burritos but it's pretty badass.
IAmA_Lannister ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:58:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah lived here my whole life and I completely agree with you. Although I have to disagree with the crocs statement. We'll make fun of you for wearing crocs here.
goombalover13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Last time I went there I saw dozens of girls wearing crocs and sundresses. Maybe it's the preppy minnesotans.
IAmA_Lannister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you see that? I haven't seen anybody over the age of 10 or under the age of 45 wearing crocs in years.
goombalover13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
St. Paul at a Catholic Church. Also a bunch of people from Edina and Minnetonka came to visit a school down here and I saw so many crocs + socks.
zooropa93 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:56:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a Minnesotan, let me tell you why Duck Duck Gray Duck is better. It adds an aspect to the game where you can trick people. You can go around and say, "Duck, Duck, Duck, GREEN Duck" and then they have a moment of hesitation.
It sounds stupid but it makes the game so much better.
Rydian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to run acrosst the street to the store." - The whole acrosst thing bugs me to no end. Yeah, Minnesotan's are super weird.
Keegan320 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:38 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Native Minnesotan, I vaguely remember that being said when I was younger but I haven't heard it in years.
workaway5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crocs are definitely not in style up here, but the rest is accurate. Worth noting that we still say casserole, but hot dish is kind of its own subset of casseroles. Hot dish usually involves tater tots and a few other things.
goombalover13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely an Iowa thing as well.
readytofall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After living in both I have learned they both think random things are an Iowa thing or a Minnesota thing when both states say it. Such as Minnesota/Iowa nice.
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
woodchopperak ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 01:35:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minnesotan here. It's funny that sometimes you can be having awkward conversation the whole night, until its time to leave. Then you talk converse passionately in the doorway for another 45 minutes.
frogshateclocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm starting to feel like some of the older generation waits to talk about what they want to talk about until you say 'I gotta go' just to keep you there a little longer.
shackelman_unchained ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:29:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minnesota upvote!
onken022 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:03:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The train is chugging.
frogstomp427 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I give. What's a "Minnesota Goodbye"?
MC5EVP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry just got home from work. Everyone pretty much answered it.
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 00:51:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mexicans show up to parties talking about how they can't stay
CaptainSnacks ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:49:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my Irish dad is actually Mexican
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:49:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jew from Maine can confirm Canadian heritage and Jewish families makes for lots of goodbyes to the same people...
Pretty sure I'm still at my bar mitzvah...
waddupworld ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:03:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin got married last week, hopefully I'll get to leave the hotel sometime soon
bg-j38 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:39:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wisconsin Jew here. I remember a time when the family was over, everyone got up to leave, the 20 minutes of goodbyes started, and then suddenly everyone was back in the kitchen having coffee.
jseego ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a really nice evening actually
Argh_ImaPirate ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:43:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minnesotans are awful about this. It takes my parents like 30 minutes of saying bye before we actually leave.
maxtheterp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:11:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a Jew now living in North Dakota, thank god my family isn't here. We'd never leave anywhere.
jingowatt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:30:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that is a Good Jewish Joke.
LastWordFreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That shit ain't done unless someone hands over the afikomen.
degistered_remocrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's a Seder?
waddupworld ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:01:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a traditional Jewish dinner that takes during the holiday known as Pesach, or Passover where we tell the story of how the Jews escaped from Egypt. It is also a holiday where people get together with families, hence the painfully long jewish goodbye
degistered_remocrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool, so it's like when I have to go talk to my old AF family members at christmas?
waddupworld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
seems similar, but I really cant exaggerate this enough, jewish goodbyes take FOREVER. like, goodbyes for jews means you go and have a final conversation with everyone there, where you say everything you had been hoping to say in a one on one conversation. This repeats with EVERYONE THERE.
snatchchat1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Seder!
Crazylittleloon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you need rescuing?
SwiggitySwagKerman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are Jews in Minnesota?
tenehemia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quite a few, actually! Minnesota is about 1% Jewish, which is actually pretty significant, all things considered.
upvotersfortruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're Jewtheran?
-Tesserex- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same, Jewish with Minnesotan parents. This is exactly how it feels. You need to start your goodbyes about 10 minutes in if you only plan on staying 4 hours. But then they all start singing and you're there until 2 am.
Radeon3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are jews way out yonder?!
tenehemia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Coen brothers, Al Franken and my dad - all Jews - all grew up in the same predominantly Jewish town in Minnesota!
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaaa. This is hilarious. I just thought my relatives missed us and were talkative homey people.
jtg10795 ยท 690 points ยท Posted at 18:56:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle of trying to leave a bar mitzvah:
Jewish mother: "I just need to start saying quick goodbyes"
(Two hours later)
Jewish mother: "just a few more people"
(Music stops, party getting cleaned up)
Jewish mother: "oh look they said we can take one of the center pieces. Let's just go talk to them about the party and how much fun they had"
jkortech ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:29:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family is always one of the last people to leave temple after services. There have been a few times we've walked out with the rabbi.
dragontail ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:16:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We get it, your life is awesome. Geez.
smallcat25 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:46:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is good friends with the temple maintenance guy, so sometimes we end up walking out with him like 45 mins after the rabbi has locked up. It's a problem.
AluminiumSandworm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And here I thought mum staying after church to talk to her friends for 20 minutes was bad.
seewolfmdk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The rabbi stays during a Bar Mitzvah?
jkortech ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:05:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Reform, so yeah.
seewolfmdk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:07:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. I have not much knowledge about Jewish customs. In Germany we don't have many jews....
jkortech ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:10:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... From what I've heard though Jewish life in Germany is pretty good nowadays in comparison to the rest of Europe.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:30:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I heard something happened over there 70 - something years ago that caused their population to go down :/
erddad890765 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is anybody gonna tell her?
MyPassword_IsPizza ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:43:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a bar mitzvah but I experienced this for the first time going to a friends house the other day and his whole family was over. Literally spent half the time leaving. They were crazy. Crazy awesome.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a Jewish mother: can confirm this will happen...
The party isn't over until someone has taken the ice sculpture home to keep for their nephews wedding next year.
jtg10795 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have multiple family member's/friend's centerpieces decorating our basement. I am not kidding.
la_bibliothecaire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I have a centrepiece from his cousin's wedding on a side table in our living room. His mother took like three of them, gave one to us, one to his sister, and kept one for herself. Not being Jewish myself, I did not know that this was a Jewish mom thing. I understand now.
shewrites ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:19:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my mother is Jewish. I had my suspicions (guilt trips), but it's crystal-clear now.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:23:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend invited me to her cousin's bar mitzvah and I got so drunk I collapsed down the stairs, hit my head and blacked out. So I didn't have to say goodbye to anyone.
jtg10795 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:57:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This past May I went to my cousin's bat mitzvah, the first one I went to as an "adult."
Holy shit, I did not realize how important the open bar really is.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:13:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I'm at an open bar, it's like I'm expecting them to close it any minute. I'm like "I'll have a gin and tonic... No a double... No I mean three double gin and tonics, and a beer." Next thing you know...
jtg10795 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at my camp friend's mom's bat mitzvah about a month ago (yes, that might be the most Jewish thing you've ever heard).
I woke up on an air mattress in my camp friend's room next to a pile of vomit.
kat_loves_tea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:32:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Your friend's mom had a bat mitzvah celebrating her turning 12 and entering accountable adult life?
Edit: TIL adults can also have bar/bat mitzvahs. Thanks, Google.
heethar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:14:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't laughed so hard in months (depression is a bitch, yo). Thank you for this comment!
erddad890765 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May you always roll 20 on your Wisdom (Insight) checks to remember why life is worth living!
jtg10795 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad I could bring you some joy! Hang in there, and just remember, you're at least not stuck in the purgatory of not being able to enjoy a party because you're "in the process of leaving" :)
Bellyzard2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way too true ;_;
hoodie92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:07:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredibly accurate.
Chkouttheview ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And how much the party cost
jtg10795 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessary, you can usually just estimate that it was between $50,000-$100,000.
Though that estimation can be based on them pointing out the quality of the food, venue, games, DJ, cake, etc. so...
justkilledaman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family is both Persian and Jewish. We start saying goodbye at least 2 hours before we intend to leave. Sometimes a simple Shabbat dinner can drag on until 3 am because of these formalities
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:53:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to many a Jewish party. Your people know how to eat and have fun to the point that I don't want to go!
Shadowex3 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 16:00:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all of our holidays boil down to "they tried to kill us, we won, lets eat" so we get a lot of practice.
bkrags ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:42:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except for Purim. That one is "they tried to kill us, we won, lets drink"
Shadowex3 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:58:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"They tried to kill us, we won, let's get drunk and eat pastries shaped like the bad guy's hat."
bkrags ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:01:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
best holiday
Zrk2 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 18:17:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda want to be jewish now. Because of this, but also the running the world.
Obligatius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn, reddit is not having a sense of humor this afternoon. Well, I thought you were hilarious.
Zrk2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought askreddit liked edgy humour. Huh.
prototypetolyfe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He knows too much. Take him out
JazzinZerg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OY VEY! Ze goyim, zey know!
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My hazy recollection of Purim is that you drink like there's no tomorrow
Peoples_Bropublic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, no. That's pretty much it right there.
carBoard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:15:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been told that for Purim you're suppose to get drunk to the point of not being able to tell the difference between your wife and your mom or something like that.... Idk where it originated from but a few people have told me that.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:55:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drink until you can no longer distinguish between "blessed be Mordechai" and "cursed be Haman". Mordechai being the good guy, Haman being a POS.
DontPromoteIgnorance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see you haven't been to a seder with my family.
LaxCrosse007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a more obscure Jewish holiday? My wife's family is Jewish and I've never heard of it. They also don't drink so maybe they just choose to ignore it.
bkrags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really obscure. They definitely teach it to kids in Hebrew school. Kids dress in costume and it's the one with the triangle cookies with fruit filling called Hamentashen.
Celebration is often a community thing. You go to temple and they read the story of Purim and people celebrate. I don't think I've heard of many people celebrating it at home like Passover or Hannukah. And it's not one of the High Holidays like Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashannah, where you HAVE to go to temple. But I bet if you asked your wife about it, she's heard of it.
Imborednow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drink until you no longer know the difference between "Cursed is Hamen" and "Blessed is Mordechai". AKA, 'till you're as drunk as possible without death.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:18:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's why I always feel so welcome at the table. "Oh you aren't here to try to murder us? Well sit down and enjoy!"
Also, I learned quickly that there is no arguing with a Jewish mom that wants you to stay for dessert.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Won", or, "survived"?
I mean, I'll take either, but there's a distinction isn't there?
Though I guess most of the time (at least as far as the history of the Jewish people is concerned) merely surviving was winning...
theshmoo10 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my family. We say good bye, and 15 minutes later my mum, aunt and grandma are in her bedroom looking at the new top she just bought
the_Demongod ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:31:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, jewish family here too. Can confirm leaving takes an hour.
faceisamapoftheworld ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:21:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The last Jewish wedding I went to consisted of two halves. The first two hours of saying hello to everyone there and then the last two hours of saying goodbye to everyone there. I'm pretty sure you could have plotted progress on a graph.
gemkid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god is that why my mom takes forever to leave.
eljayceeem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:13:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father is Irish, my mother is Jewish. My father is constantly desperate to leave parties without saying goodbye and gets furious with my mother who does the typical Jewish never leaving a party thing. Not compatible.
GeekGroovy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a member of the "tribe" I have to say I have mastered the quick goodbye from watching how the other half lives.
shitlord_ofthedance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100%
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I come from a Salvadoran family and it's the same with us. We say goodbye and a few hours later we're still in the same place (most likely eating).
fathertime979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I as well have Jewish family. I sometimes think I'm the outcast because "fuck you I'm done I'm leaving bye." Meanwhile everyone and the ladies I've never met want to have a chat.
PowerWordCoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Italian families have a "Goodbye Tour". You can't just leave....
doestthouevenhoist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know right
aredditgroupthinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you give an example to clarify?
bert-rhodes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a Polish thing too! My mother-in-law says goodbye about 10 times for an hour before she actually leaves.
Mabiche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my family is Jewish.
dubblywumps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing with my mother's side of the family from Minnesota... saying goodbye leads to a new conversation, which leads to another conversation, which leads to forgetting you were leaving in the first place... sometimes you go through the process like three times before you're finally free.
firerosearien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jewish. Can confirm.
tytanium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite Mel Brooks/Carl Reiner jokes:
You have the French(or WASPs) who will leave and never say goodbye, and the Jews(or Italians) who will say goodbye, and never leave!
moeru_gumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Have friends like this.
schnauzerapples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Persian Jew. When someone comes to the party, everyone has to stand up as they walk around and kiss each person on both cheeks. Same when you leave but not as strict. It's the most annoying ritual
anarcurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my wife is Jewish
SteampunkSamurai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Filipino parents are also guilty of this. My brother and I will be in the basement playing Halo with the other kids, then our parents will call down to us telling us it's time for us to leave. We'll answer that we'll be coming up, but we'll both know that we'll have time for at least two more games of team deathmatch before they finish wrapping up leftovers, yakking with their Navy buddies, and picking their shoes out of the sea of footwear in front of the door.
skunkpunk1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too true. There's a joke about this: the difference between Jewish and Irish people is that Irish people leave without saying goodbye, whereas Jews say goodbye but never leave.
YooHooShitHeads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Persians as well. You say goodbye. The host begs you to stay. You argue like this for a couple minutes. Then some other topic of conversation comes up, and you're there talking for another 45 minutes, but instead of sitting comfortably in the living room, you're standing by the front door.
CompletePlague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, am still attending Rosh Hashanah dinner.
kalfin2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so incredibly accurate. I laughed for awhile after reading it.
LotusCobra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my jewish mother is the epitome of this
smoha96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is prevalent among all ethnics. Happens to me and all my brown (subcontinental) friends, as well my Singaporean friend.
iamaquantumcomputer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pakistani people do this too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So damn accurate. I was wondering when someone was going to bring this up, and then you brought it up as a trait of Jewish communities, and you're so right, and I never realized it.
My mother and father do this everywhere we go, and when I was younger I got pretty good at figuring out approximately how long I ACTUALLY had until we left, and how likely it was for them to get stuck in a conversation.
wackattackyo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:12:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like people from Minnesota. We end up saying goodbye a dozen times before actually leaving
[deleted] ยท 628 points ยท Posted at 14:29:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the ol' Irish Goodbye : http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=irish+goodbye
TREBILCOCK ยท 1161 points ยท Posted at 15:18:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My experience of a goodbye in Ireland involves announcing you are leaving, then proceed to have another conversation in the doorway for a further hour.
Terminutter ยท 734 points ยท Posted at 15:49:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You inevitably find yourself back in the kitchen holding a cup of tea too, discussing who died recently.
joanhallowayharris ยท 774 points ยท Posted at 16:05:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Y'know yer one who lives around the corner from the shop? The one whose mam worked in the school where yer cousins went? He worked for yer uncle for a month or so? ....
He's dead.
Terminutter ยท 219 points ยท Posted at 16:17:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's always a flat "(s)he's dead", never anything else. "Ohhh you know your auntie Maureen, always dancing at parties? She's dead. Yep, heart attack out of nowhere."
Watching my mother meet up with her family is always good.
joanhallowayharris ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 16:43:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES. Just matter of fact, like. Usually followed by an "ah, pity".
My BF is Canadian (I'm first gen Canadian with Irish parents), and bringing him over to Ireland, or to any family events in Canada, is weird for him. He can't get over how much we talk about death. The bereavement notices on the radio really disturbed him.
My mom likes to give me the "highlight reel" as she calls it. She just lists off the people I might know who died in the past 2 weeks, and then talks about who's not well for a while so I have an idea of what next weeks' highlight reel might look like.
I feel like the Irish trade mass cards like it's a game. Like Magic: the Gathering, but Irish: the Wakening.
Terminutter ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh, you literally do get tiny little death cards, slightly smaller than a debit card. You typically have a picture of the deceased, a little poem or prayer and generally a picture of Mary, Jesus or similar. They are sent out to family members and such upon death. It's kinda morbidly funny. Could be a bit archaic now though, I live in the UK and I feel like I am cheating when I claim to be Irish as I am only half!
thisshortenough ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I currently have one of my mam in my phone. My granny has a row of them of the people who have passed that she was close to all lined up at the bottom of her mirror.
joanhallowayharris ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:55:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's something about mass cards in the mirror that reminds me of every elderly relative I have.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" Mass cards in the mirror. " that's a great title to a song/ band name
Divisadero ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:25:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh all my family does this. People thought I was so weird at college for having mass cards on my mirror lol. (I'm 2nd generation American but my family has clung to all their little Irishisms.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it ever goes away. I'm like 4th/5th gen, and we do the cards at funerals, I usually tuck them into a picture frame. I've got 5 already this year (not a great year, unfortunately). I'm really only Catholic for weddings and funerals, but it's one of my favorite traditions - it's a lovely little reminder of the people you cared about. Do Protestants not do this?
I also get the rundown on everyone I might ever have heard of who died, not just from my mom but from all the aunts as well. It's not a family party until 6 old women have told you that Kelly, not your cousin Kelly, but your other cousin, Mike's girl? You remember Mike, he's your great uncle Danny's youngest son, lives in PA. You probably met him at young Dennis's wedding. Yeah, his daughter. She's dead.
sunset_blues ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:31:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful.
MusaTheRedGuard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:37:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh...did not know that about Irish people. Gonna store that away in the ol' stereotype folder
Cybertool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol, Irish: the Wakening killed me.
Leerooooy_Jenkinsss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Followed by 'but I only saw her last tuesday'. Amazing.
greffedufois ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I miss my grandma. She was the queen of calling to say something innocuous and then I'd be on the phone with her for 2 hours. I miss that.
daithice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I say it's best to just get it over quickly, "he's dead and he's not coming back, get used to it!"
finnlizzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uuuuuuggghhh. Huh huh. Stupid priests! Naaaaaah
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my family's Irish.
King-Jimmy ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 16:33:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Ahh jaysus Maureen's youngfella?" "Yeah Maureen's boy" "Ahh that's terrible, shockin news." "T'is awful sad, awful sad." "Awful sad" "I'll light a candle for him at mass. Hopefully she'll be alright please god" "Ahh please god."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
King-Jimmy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:54:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dank memes woke me up from the dead
classy_stegasaurus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:55:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, if I had a buck for every time my mom did that to me I could pull America out of it's debt
MicktheSpud ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:25:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mum? What are you doing on Reddit?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:37:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yer man, you mean. Yer one is short for yer woman.
joanhallowayharris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yer right. I wasn't sure where I was going with it, to be honest.
xDominus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if it's because of the many people with Irish heritage in the state, but Minnesota has this too, but we call it the "Minnesota Goodbye" where we say we are leaving, say goodbye to everyone and have a conversation as we are literally walking out of the door and taking another at least 20 minutes with that conversation before we actually leave the place. Apparently just fucking leaving is "insincere".
DatHon3yBadger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That perfectly sums it up!
smokski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Paddy? Ah feck not Paddy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so true.
giantunderpants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
^ Every telephone conversation I have with my mother. You dread knowing who "so and so" is because you know they're dead.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can picture standing in my nannies kitchen and hearing my aunts have this exact convo
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I felt like I was in Ireland for a moment.
Maligned-Instrument ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Republic of Telly does a great sketch on this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NndzLS7JvJY
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that tradition takes a few generations to die, because my Irish/German -American grandma does this. If only I had a dollar for every blank stare my mom's given her in return...
dragontail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to go re-watch Ratcatcher...
Hagathorthegr8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, that's why we're drinking tonight! His corpse is keeping the whiskey cold in the parlor
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:18:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the person who died recently is never anyone who I know.
"Ah, sure you know John from down the road, he was your grandad's friend's cousin!'
shawnisboring ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Angela.
And her ashes.
EveryPixelMatters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AYYY
EltaninDraconis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family hasn't been back to Ireland in nearly 3 centuries, and this tradition still holds true.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:12:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Concluding with "byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye"
joanhallowayharris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Bye!Godbless!Loveyou!Bless!Loveyou!Bye!
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:27:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the old Irish phone call goodbye.
"Yep, see ya, I'll talk to ya later, yep, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, yep, I'm going now, haha yeah, see ya, good night, yeah that's all the craic, yep, yep, good bye."
joanhallowayharris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like you're saying you don't really love them if you hang up first.
incestuousCookies ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:49:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! My wife is Irish, when we're at family gatherings I've learned that I don't even have to get up when she says that we're leaving, it's more of a 'time for one last round of conversations with everyone'.
yourdrunkirishfriend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I sometimes do an Irish Exit. I find it weird living in England and I tell people I'm leaving and they're okay with it. In England: "no problem dude, I might go soon too."
In Ireland: "ah Seรกn you're no craic, you'll stay for one more" so in the end you need to duck out.
Exceptionull ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty similar to Indian. Except the host constantly asks you to stay for another cup of tea. No matter what time you leave. There's always one more cup of tea!
TwinTiger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also known as the Minnesota Goodbye
WiredEgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My experience with the Irish good-bye generally consists of a statesman declaring one last drink and then you'll leave, and then waking up extremely Hungover and wondering how you got home.
PM_ME_ONE_BTC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mexicans are the same lol
gravshift ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like southern families. The kitchen is the center of the household.
PM_ME_ONE_BTC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.
money_run_things ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm. I had a family reunion in Ireland.
bulbsy117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bye bye bye bye
eonta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds quite a lot like a Welsh goodbye!
Eoghan811 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh FFS! That happens to me all the time!! I was at a christening last weekend and it happened... -_-
Lochei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like all conversations in the South.
crappymathematician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father would fit in quite well, then. He's the only person I know where for him, "we should get going now," means, "in an hour, we're really gonna have to leave."
Rosenblattca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my family, this is the Jewish Goodbye. We are, in fact, Jewish.
un_internaute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is also Minnesota. Ungh, can't you see I'm already wearing my coat and I might be dying?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how my wife's family works. Also, you can't leave without saying goodbye to everyone. Nowadays, I initiate the leaving sequence a half-hour before I actually want to leave.
huckthefuskies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My last date ended kind of like this, except we sat on a curb talking for three....
MinnesotaMice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a Minnesotan goodbye.
HitlerWasASexyMofo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
have another large glass of whisky
DatHon3yBadger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was torture as a kid and you're dying to go home then another long ass chat starts all over again and you kinda just hover on the outside of the conversation hoping your parents got the message.
TrepanningForGold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents somehow insinuated themselves into the local Irish-American community and this was my experience during parties.
SolidLikeIraq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
which is exactly why you need to do the "Irish Goodbye" - if you don't you'll be there forever!
MothProphet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never knew my dad was irish.
twiddlingbits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same way in the Southern US..goodbyes last at least 30 minutes. More if it was a family event.
MrStigglesworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is very Indian too. I'd be at a cousin's place playing Smash Bros or something and my parents would call out to me to say we were leaving. So I call back 5 minutes to finish our game and they say no, now. I come down and then have to wait in the doorway for an age and a half as their convo just keeps going.
Geodude671 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't exclusive to Ireland.
CWSwapigans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a good reason to start pulling more Irish Goodbyes.
Hhhkairu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like any relative I know. Can't leave without having an hour conversation with your boots on at the door ready to go.
Octavia9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up in America in a family of Irish immigrants this was also my experience.
IThrewItOnTehGround ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds rather Cornish as well.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hence why the necessity of just leaving without saying anything came about.
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was "The Mom Goodbye" every time as a child my mom would chat for hours on the phone, then her girlfriends would come over and they'd chat for hours in the kitchen. Then it was time to say goodbye and they'd chat another hour in the entryway. Then a half hour on the porch. Then ten minutes at the car.
Jellooooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hm, where I live, we call that a "Filipino talk."
goplaymariokart ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:40:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an Italian goodbye
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NasalSnack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is applicable to some parts of Washington as well.
chris-foxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also known as a "French Exit". I'm the master of it. Left a party a few days ago without anyone seeing me. Got about 15 texts 20 minutes later from drunk people wondering what happened to me.
p44v9n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup - I've always called it a French exit. Apparently in France they call it the English exit, hah. Just naming it after that rude culture which your culture hates I guess.
weissbierdood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany, it's called the Polnischer Abgang (Polish departure).
PowerJosl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called Polish exit in English.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Polish+Exit
TwiztedImage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually go with "Irish Exit" but...yea. I actually prefer it.
irishamerican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can confirm this.
Kepgnar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always heard it called "the French exit."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be higher, everyone I know does this. If you're lucky you get a text an hour later telling you they've left
aapowers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In French, I've heard people say 'filer ร l'anglaise'.
I.E. an English scarper.
It's the same concept.
gerwen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty common in Canada. Standing at the door for an hour with your boots and coat on, yapping away with no end in sight.
humma__kavula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had quite the reputation of doing this. The taxi stand was right outside our usual bar so once I realized I was way too drunk just peace out, usually leaving my debit card behind as well.
UnhappyBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is interesting to me. Where I'm from we call this "Murphing it." Like the name Murphy. I guess our way stems from this. TIL
thumbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm part irish
treejesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think it was just a stereotype, but my Irish friend actually does this.
PawelDecowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Poland it's known as โangielska zrywkaโ which loosely translates to English escape.
fractalfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my dad's Irish, when I visit I always tell him I need to leave an hour before I actually need to. I'm still usually late home.
Siboma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Northern Ireland we call this jooking.
RodneyDangerfeel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, this is called the Batman. As in, "imma gonna Batman outta here".
arnaudh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the French call it filer ร l'anglaise.
Ziff7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never heard it called that. We call it the Irish Exit.
Teller8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it the Irish Exit.
Stewbodies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who perfected the Irish exit. We'll be hanging out in a group then suddenly we'll all realize he'd been gone for the past 10 minutes, or he'll appear and nobody will have noticed he'd have ever left. He doesn't even realize nobody had noticed, but he would be out of sight for a while, often just around the corner.
barcode1555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A ridiculous term since, quite apart from being offensive, it's the polar opposite to how leaving parties in Ireland actually is.
nanie1017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite way to leave anything. I hate telling people I don't care about goodbye.
DrunkenGolfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was called an Irish Goodbye because of the way the Irish seem to disappear out a side turn when it is their round.
tymantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We tend to call this "Batmanning". When people turn around, you've vanished into the night without a trace.
Delacroix192 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it Irish ghosting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably one of the only things I'm good at.
junkers9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:51 on September 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm tapping into my heritage when I do this? Nice.
the_number_2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:08:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad likes to tell a joke (since our family is Italian).
Seriously, it takes half an hour MINIMUM to leave a family party.
TheKandyCinema ยท 448 points ยท Posted at 14:12:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this completely.
I've been at typical family parties where nobody can segway the conversation into a simple "We better get going" because they don't want to be the first ones to leave and say goodbye and be rude.
Or at least here saying goodbye is the rude part.
stronimo ยท 673 points ยท Posted at 14:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"segue the conversation", unless you mean talking on wheeled upright vehicles.
Saotik ยท 893 points ยท Posted at 15:15:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just continue the conversation while you slowly glide backwards out of the door.
Quarter103 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:34:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GOB mastered it
Acciovino ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:31:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I read segway I was hoping someone brought this up.
Wuhblam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:59:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this but while back flipping into the sun
mayhawjelly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Turn 360 degrees and moonwalk outta there.
Timofmars ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:41:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a scene from Family Guy.
Oscarott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deal with it.
mostlytheshortofit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gob.gif
dawsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Paul blart style
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I roll
WireBurningMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This should be a thing.
AerThreepwood ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:58:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed at this but I haven't really talked in the last couple hours so ask that came out was a weird squeak.
For imagery, I'm a 6 foot tall, fairly muscled, heavily bearded guy.
DeadJokeDoubleTapper ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's a segway?
Teledildonic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:16:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine Michael Cera wearing a helmet, awkwardly and quietly saying goodbye as he wheels out of the party on a Segway that he has been riding the entire time.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whilst "the sound of silence" plays in the background of course.
PM_ME_ONE_BTC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagine kevin james doing this
Shevacai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With one of these helmets strapped lopsided to his head with his shitty moustache
kelus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:11:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't
Laughing to hard
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I've been misinterpreting this phrase my whole life...
HackerKnownAs8chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate those
jabe1127 ยท 344 points ยท Posted at 15:43:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 2 older brothers and I have the whole "leaving the family get togethers" down to a science. I'm the youngest(26) no children. They are both 35-40 with a combined 7 children. So, when one of them wants to leave they come talk to me. I always want to leave, and since I don't bring kids for the old folks and women to play with, no one seems to mind when I do decide to go, but everyone knows, once someone has broken the "I'm leaving" ice, its every clan for themselves.
Gets me out of there, Gets them out of there. Baring any woman/child Fiasco, this works well for us.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 16:26:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When only children ask what it's like having a sibling, I want this as the example
EllisDee_4Doyin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:26:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, when my siblings and I wanted to get out of a situation growing up, we had everything from my little sister falling asleep, to me faking a body illness as an excuse.
Sometimes siblings can be awesome to have growing up. Now we just ride together (apart from parents); leave separately. "See you guys at home!"
Jay_Train ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:19:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, my wife and I are the opposite. We use the kid as our excuse. Fuck no she isn't really tired, she took a nap before we left. Fuck no she ain't pissy, toddlers love hot dogs and attention. The truth is I AM TIRED AND PISSY AND FIND YOU ALL SUPER WEIRD AND ANNOYING.
chief_running_joke ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:44:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There comes a time in every man's life when he needs to settle down with a good woman, get married, and start his own fiasco.
EllaL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a dinner party once where everyone clearly was done and wanted to go home but was staying to be polite. The couple with a kid got a call from the babysitter and I was so hopeful, but then they STAYED. What kind of monsters?? I finally just said we had to go, even though we had no good reason and, by etiquette for that group, should not have been the first to leave.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:17:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao etiquette. I don't get it. Maybe this is why I'm not often invited to high prissy wear a suit parties but what kind of etiquette is that? I just tell them I'm going to be on my way and leave. Simple. Everyone's overthinking this.
Chucky332 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:14:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its reddit haha... everyone is socially awkward apparently
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very socially awkward which is why I'm so good at leaving places. Being alone is the best of times!
EllaL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:45 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The boss was hosting the event and he is of a different culture, which has strong rules regarding respect. My date and I represented the bottom of the totem pole, both at work and in age.
UCFJoe2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before kids I was always the last to leave family functions, now we leave whenever we want because we have to get the baby home for dinner/bath/bed
Filmosopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're the designated family get away driver.
limotint101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well done
FatStratCat ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 15:51:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one tolerable aspect of my family that always confuses my wife. Out of nowhere someone will drop the "well I better get going" line and be out the door in under 3 minutes. With her family it takes at least 30 minutes of trying to say goodbye but "oh I just remembered this story I have to tell you and oh did you speak to your cousin lately, here's some dinnerware or some other shit" before she can get out the door. Meanwhile I just wandered off to the car while she is trying to say goodbye. I'd like to think at some point she says "oh shit I've lost my husband" and rushes out the door while they're all distracted.
BewilderedFingers ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:06:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my boyfriend's family, especially my boyfriend himself. When I want to go, I want to leave within five minutes. He will have half an hour long conversations with his relatives in the hallway while I stand there with my coat on. I really like his family but when I say I want to go home it's because I am no longer in the mindset to be social (especially since I speak a second language around them which wears me out after a few hours), and it's not like they live far away or anything so we see them often.
ragemars128 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:28:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend is exactly the same way with her mom. She'll complain that she wants to leave, I've said my goodbyes and sitting in the damn car, 30minutes later she comes out saying she finally got out of there after her mom's inane rambling.
Me with my family: "bye all"...walks out door.
greffedufois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Irish and my bf is Native Alaskan. Holy crap our future kids will hate us. Goodbye happens a good 40 minutes before you leave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think your girlfriend and I have the same family. Except it's a gradual goodbye. We say we're gonna leave in the middle of the house, then get stopped by a bunch of people on the way out, each goodbye lasting at least 10 minutes. By the time we leave it's about 45 minutes after we first said we had better get going.
FatStratCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*wife
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I need to learn how to read
fidgetiegurl09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the trick. Let the in-law slip away, and then you gotta be all, well.. Gotta go find him/her.
amazingmanderrr ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my family. lol
dick-nipples ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:17:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All I know is that I'd rather be a 'sneaker outer' than a 'lingerer' any day.
ScruffsMcGuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have one friend who's a lingerer.
I love the guy like a brother, but he'll end up staying the night and then not leaving the next day until like...6PM. Meanwhile me and the girlfriend are dropping hints at all the stuff we need to get done that day and he's completely clueless that we're hinting he should go home.
kperkins1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend like this
Just start cleaning.
If they don't get the hint, start pickup up the party. They can't just watch you do it, so they will either leave, or chip in.
If that doesn't work, I just start scrubbing toilets.
Nobody has ever offered to help me with that, but can't very well stand around while I do it.
inuredhalcyon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother is a "lingerer", and I'm someone that is ready to leave before I even arrive. If we're at a family get-together, we always drive separately, so his lingering is never an issue in that sense. But when he comes to my house, and does the whole "Well, I gotta go," then stands and decides to chat for another year, I look him dead in the eyes and repeatedly say "Bye," until he leaves. He thinks I'm just his funny his little sister; no, I really want him to leave. It drives me crazy when people say they're going to leave and then proceed to not do that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as "fingerer"...gives it a totally different context...
hijackedanorak ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:13:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have "ah well" time. Someone shouts that and we all know it's safe to bail.
It basically turns into my grandpa kicking us out, haha.
BrckT0p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gah family parties are the worst. My SO will discretely tell me "we need to leave soon" then continue to just sit there talking for an hour or more. Then later on the drive home she'll say "I wanted to leave like an hour ago" and I always respond "well did you expect me to carry you out? You literally made no indication to anybody that you wanted to leave and I'm not going to butt into your conversation with your mom to say we need to leave."
On the other hand I have absolutely no issue standing up, putting on my shoes, packing up anything we need to take with us, etc. and then saying "well, we better get going" but that doesn't work when she just continues to sit there talking!
ChiPhiMike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just fyi, it's segue
Tadhgdagis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The hilarious part is that after the first person gets up the guts, EVERYONE leaves. It's like breaking trump in a game of spades.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Welllllllll...." "So I..." "Anyways...."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta return a video before I get late fees. Dang it, Blockbuster! Why'd you have to die?
erinnbecky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's favourite line is "my couch is calling me, it's starting to worry about me since I'm not usually away from it this long!"
violetxrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not letting people go home and live their lives is kind of rude and desperate.
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah my boyfriend simply doesn't care. We left his nieces' birthday after cake while everyone was chatting I didn't want to leave, but they're just babies, they won't remember.
kperkins1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the guy.
Every family event, I put in my time, several hours. It is always past when I planned on leaving, but I leave.
And am followed out by 8 people
Bens_Dream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Segue
polyphonictree ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
segue* x:
ask_me_about_kirby ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 14:11:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that just leaves without saying goodbye at all of our get-togethers. Especially if we're all crashing at someone's place, he'll just get up and leave whenever he wants. There's nothing wrong with it.
BearOnDrums ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 15:45:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have that friend too. I think we all do. All of sudden someone says... "Where's Kevin at?"
MasterofPandas1 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 16:16:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably eating crayons or something.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:13:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or trying to spend his rejected tuition money at the 7/11 across the street
AtmosphericMusk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:50:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Might have forgot which party he was going to
the_cucumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm impressed this is still a thing.
shinypurplerocks ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:23:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have any friend like that. My friends do, though.
pizzafest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:49:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend kevin also does this.
everyonecallsmekev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this. Am I your friend?
Harry101UK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, hi Kev! Didn't see you arrive.
pizzafest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
are you kevin?
Old_Gnarled_Oak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PM_ME_UR_BOOOOBS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have that friend too. Only he leaves because nobody will let him drive home because he's drunk, so he just sneaks out.
ThisIs_MyName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha that sounds like me. I always get a call/text asking if I've been kidnapped.
kazuspeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You left him Home Alone
Zamma111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the bus
mfigroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stealth evacuation. It's my MO, especially when drinking.
bettercawlsaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the Bat Cave probably or on the roof of the building you're occupying.
unimpressed_llama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably eating crayons in the corner.
Twisted_Jesus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:57:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends does this too, the fact that he always hangs out for a good amount of time is what makes it OKAY, he just leaves when shit starts to die down or he gets tired usually.
Nothing worse than having a friend who won't chill for more than 30 minutes and just leaves without saying anything.
trigg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend like that. He's a really, really cool dude, so we don't hold it against him too much.
He never directly responds to invites, we just text him and maybe he'll show up. He can stay half an hour, or three hours, or be the one to shut the party down, but man can he ninja his way out of there when he wants to. Some nights he'll show up in the beginning, ninja out, then show up again 3 or 4 hours later. If it were anyone else it would be infuriating.
Banter725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That person does not sound cool at all. He sounds self involved.
trigg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's a little fried from lots of drug use... Says some of the wackiest shit but yet is obviously quite smart under it all. We love him for who he is, and his ninja skills are ongoing entertainment for us.
bratzman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:42:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am that guy but I'm pretty sure it just adds to my reputation as that asshole who doesn't like talking to people. Which is not exactly true, I'm just bad at talking, so I kind of go without saying stuff and it's not something that helps me in the long run.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that friend. My good friends know and are cool with it.
mrboombastic123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:30:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I wonder if our friend who does this thinks we are cool with it. It's annoying as fuck. Because there is always that period where you have to look around for the guy before e.g. moving to next bar, or whatever you are doing. Just say bye and walk off.
Jay_Train ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, MOST of my friends have this down to a science. We can all tell when we need to leave whoevers house we're at, or of its cool to stay, or whatever. There's always that one fucking friend who just doesn't get it. The host could literally not talk for an hour and pass out stoned and drunk sitting on the couch and this fuckin guy will still be sitting there in either uncomfortable silence and having a full on convo with himself.
All_Is_Not_Self ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well, I do that and I got lots of worried calls and text messages "Where are you, what happened? Is something wrong?". I guess I need to keep doing it until everyone knows that's my thing to do.
GEARHEADGus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Italian here, we do the same shit.
SoupMuffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what I do. I quietly left my friends place this morning and her bf texted me about a half hour later asking if I went home, and she hasn't even noticed I'm not there.
Sweet_Sweet_RoboDick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is me. I do this. And Im notorious for this. I dont give a shit. Look Im leaving....we had some fun and we shared a piece of life together, but I absolutely HATE making the rounds to bid farewell to a bunch of people I dont really know. Now you see me, now you dont. No offense
Lufernaal ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:38:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is "fashionably late", there should be a "fashionably out of here!"
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:40:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're on to something here! Especially if it's a big drinking night. You are out before any drama or drunken silliness
Samuraistronaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then how am I going to start drama or be drunkenly silly?
Dumbass.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have faith in your abilities u/Samuraistronaut
galient5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But drunken silliness is the best.
Calamity_Payne ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:59:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes- way to much trouble saying goodbye to every drunkard there. Takes tooooo long
TheBigSweat ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:32:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, the Irish Goodbye is the best. In reality, taking the time to announce to everyone at a party that you're bouncing is kind of a dick move. "Everyone please stop having fun for a minute and acknowledge that you will no longer be in my presence!"
SoupMuffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends typically hosts parties, but she will not let people leave peacefully. I will go let her know I'm heading out and it turns into "lets have a last smoke before you go" which is cool, except that along the way she let's everyone else know that I'm leaving. So there's about 15+ people all smoking, now the party is outside and I have to start over again trying to leave.
relevantusername- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Irish and genuinely confused. We don't say that here. What's an Irish goodbye?
PM_meKittens ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:44:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just wait for a moment when nobody's watching you, and leave without saying anything to anyone. I don't think it's Irish-Irish, more of an Americans-who-claim-Irish-Heritage thing.
TheBigSweat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be offensive to "relaventusername-" because I love the Irish but I believe what is actually called an Irish Goodbye is when you are so drunk that you realize you need to bounce and don't tell anyone you're leaving. The Irish part coming from being drunk...
shinypurplerocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(Short bell)
PA: "(name) has left the party"
Hugh_Jampton ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:50:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along with "nah nah nah nah nah mate, you're my mate, don't go" grabs you forcefully by the arm preventing you from leaving
"Have another drink"
Forces some vile concoction into your hand
InShortSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*Downs vile concoction in one gulp
*Goes on merry way
*Unless driving....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Calamity_Payne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just screaming goodbye and running out of the room.
clappingdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just the hosts
kokain711 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:39:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not when you are the designated driver..
bilde2910 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because if you are, your boyfriend will take you to court for driving drunk
Seelview ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:43:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a friend left my wedding without noticing or saying goodbye, I thought that was rude as my wife and I took pictures with every single guest before leaving... for other parties it's ok
MLein97 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:01:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trapdoor.
mmm_unprocessed_fish ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:29:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gah, yes. My husband is very extroverted and will be the last one to leave if it's up to him. By the time I'm able to drag him out, I don't care about saying goodbye to anyone.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:38:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst if you've agreed to a leaving strategy and they get wrapped up in conversation
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:40:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:46:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Careful stringing those words together here on reddit OP!
hogwarts5972 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Did you want me to tell you How I Met Your Mother?
MasterofPandas1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How?
galient5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's annoying now, but I used to love this as a kid. My parents would sit down and have a glass of wine with my best friend's mom. It extended our play time by a few hours sometimes.
CanisArgenteus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every fucking gig, I'm our harmonica player's ride. Every time, I give him the 20-minute and 10-minute warnings when we're near time to leave. Every time, when it's finally time to go, he tells me "OK, just let me go say goodbye..." From that point I'm lucky if we leave within half an hour. So lately I've just started telling him no. "Isn't that rude?" he asks. I don't think it is.
ostentia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think your husband and my boyfriend may be the same person. He is afflicted with FOMO, and can't leave a party until it's over beyond reasonable doubt, because "what if we miss something cool?"
mmm_unprocessed_fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not so much "fear of missing out" as it is "can't stop talking". I get that he likes the interaction, but ugh. We're in our mid-to-late 30s. Nobody wants the party to go all night.
ostentia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, we have a few friends like that. We don't really invite them over anymore because damn, we kind of just want to go to bed at 2am.
JahlilOkaforGOAT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit this is awkward...
rabidassbaboon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is like this. When we're getting ready to leave, I refer to it as her "goodbye tour".
TrepanningForGold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The secret is have him acknowledge he keeps you 2 hours late every time, then start saying goodbye as soon as you show up.
blindedbyhindsight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:53:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i just say goodbye to the host and anyone i pass directly on the way out. that just be totally sufficient
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ive done this my whole life.
Just gotta lean how to scurry like a freaking mouse and maybe one person will know you're gone.
ShipisSinking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Warning: Buzzfeed ahead: Valid points non-the-less....
14 reasons why the irish goodbye is the best exit strategy
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
8 blew my mind!
weowowow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should probably only have to say goodbye to the host, to let them know you're gone from their house.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
....and no longer going through their medicine cabinet
dchrisd ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood this. Just leaving comes across as rude/ weird. Plus, its not like its that hard or takes that much time to say you're leaving. Find the host, or if they're unavailable, find someone they're close to, and just say you're leaving (give a reason or not, doesn't matter) but say something.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:05:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you can feel that if you leave, other people will take advantage and leave too, thereby ruining the party.
dchrisd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:16:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No offense, but that sounds really self-centered. Plus, even if everyone is just waiting for the opportunity to leave, its not going to ruin the party since it sounds like its over already.
octobertwins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm bouncing. I know you don't want me to leave, and I don't want to debate about it. I'll send a text if I think people might be worried about me.
I just love a nice clean break.
yeahhbuzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always find the problem is if yr leaving a party and you try and say goodbye, everycunt is like "where do you think you're goin ya fanny? get back in here and have more drink"
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to disagree with you, but if someone told me "where do you think you're goin ya fanny?" I don't think I could leave either :)
mattheiney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it would be easy if you just had to say goodbye to the host...
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:58:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's all you really have to do. Make an effort to say bye to the host, then a quick wave to everyone else as you're leaving.
Disimpaction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or text the host a thank you once you sneak out & are in your car.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That works too. In person is better, but at least you're not just vanishing
Disimpaction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have kids and if I'm out that means they are with a sitter or grandma or something. Goodbyes used to make me late & were annoying so now I just sneak out & text a thanks to the host. Works like a charm, I still get invited to things & my sitters aren't mad at me.
Leftieswillrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, particularly with family, leaving is not taken well. "Stay stay! Have another cup of tea. Leaving so soon? What, do you not like us? You haven't seen the photo albums yet."
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you're not avoiding that by just taking off. All you're doing is just delaying those questions. By taking off without a word, they're still going to ask why you just left. Best just to take a moment to deal with it.
Leftieswillrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's never just "a moment" with people like that. When I take off I can call and say "Sorry, I had to go" and the conversation ends when I disconnect. It's harder when they're right there with a vice grip on your forearm and a picture of little shitbrain in their other hand.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're just hanging up on people. It's not right of them to push you like that, but it's also not right for you to act the way you are. Be in the right and just tell them you're leaving. If they get mad, it's on them, and at least you should feel better knowing you confronted the problem and did the right thing
Leftieswillrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems like a bigger inconvenience for me to stick around for 30 minutes trying to disentangle myself from a reluctant host than it is for you to just accept that people will leave your party without saying goodbye. There is no "right thing" in this scenario, it's a made up convention that some people abuse for companionship.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with someone leaving. Go ahead and go if you're ready. Just say something, that's all. Doesn't need to be drawn out or elaborate. A quick bye without explanation is good enough. It's weird to have someone just go and be left wondering what happened.
Leftieswillrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only duck out without saying goodbye if the person is difficult to say goodbye to. For most people it's "I'm heading out, but I had a good time, great party dude!"
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:56:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's at someone's house I do try to find and thank them but if it's drinks out with friends, I think it's silly to announce your departure.
dchrisd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:01:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why though? It only takes a moment and it prevents the weirdness of wondering what the heck happened to you.
PinkStarr55 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:08:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I always worry if we are drunk and my friends just run off. A hey guys I'm gonna go and a wave seems like not that much effort
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It doesn't need to be drawn out or anything. A quick wave off works perfectly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problems start when your buddies try to guilt trip you into staying, lest I be considered a bringer-down. And me, I'm a spineless cunt, so I always stay "a little longer" and end up more drunk, tired and miserable than I originally planned.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then the problem lies with you. Still doesn't make it right to just leave.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it right for them to try and goad me into staying where I no longer want to be by poking me where it hurts? I'll usually let one person at a get-together know that I'm scooting so the others won't worry about me, but I'm not about to kiss everybody good-bye individually when I've no more energy to stay.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never said that it was right for them to goad you, and its definitely not right for them to hurt you. But that still doesn't excuse you just walking away since you're the admittedly spineless one who doesn't want to deal with it. And quite frankly, your method apparently isn't working if they still bug you.
As far as telling everyone individually bye, I never said you should (a quick wave or general "bye" is fine). And letting at least one person know your leaving means you're not taking off without saying a word since at least you told someone.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I don't usually worry about how or when people arrived...I feel the same about leaving.
Edit: actually it can get a bit drawn out when you are in a large group of people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am so guilty of this and when i do pronounce im going, its usually early and immediate
desioneill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
YEA! And if I'd rather sit in on my own at the weekend, eat pizza and watch movies that's should be acceptable too, I shouldn't have to make up an excuse.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes!
likeabuddha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ghost out of parties all the time. Way easier than saying goodbye to 20+ people
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my go to move when I want to go home
angiehawkeye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the only people it matters to say goodbye to are the one's who hosted the party. At least it it's something important like a wedding, otherwise just sneak out.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Weddings, work or very formal...I go when I go.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take it you aren't Jewish or Italian...
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Good call. Constantly debating with friends from both cultures about proper leaving procedure
Idobutido ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband introduced me to this. At first I thought it was stupid but now I like it. I always say goodbye to the hosts and thank them again and then we leave. You don't need to spend an hour saying goodbye to everyone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa would show up to a party. He'd turn to my grandma and say "Start saying your goodbyes now"
jusjerm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
587 comments, hope it was worth it
Daddydjamz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The good ole "brb i'm going to use the restroom" trick.
ThatSmegmaGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got crucified here once for saying I've done that in the past. I made a joke something along the lines of "fuck you I'm am adult I don't have to explain myself to anyone." holy shit did people lose their nut over that.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I woke up today to an inbox full of very strong opinions on the subject
Cal1gula ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just did this about 2 hours ago.
I_am_pyxidis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's rude to say goodbye if you leave a party mid-swing. It sets the tone for other people to start thinking about leaving and then suddenly the place clears out. Just leave if everyone else is engrossed in conversation, dancing or otherwise having a great time.
fancyantler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm from, we call that a "hasty ski-doo".
DrWednesday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this called "ghosting," I liked it.
kjoey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Batman. A personal favorite of mine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is called a "hard out."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you are the host, it is pretty rude...
ostentia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend feels compelled to say goodbye to all of his friends before we leave parties. I hate it. I would be 110% okay with just leaving. It's not like we're never going to see these people again!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Additionally not staying for one more drink just because you keep asking. I'm leaving because I want to go home, not because I'm scared to ask for another drink.
shutdownMPLS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old "Irish Exit". A favorite of mine.
Anti_Venom02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yes, the Shady Bounce.
BackcountryBumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the good ol Irish exit....or Puerto Rican fade
eye_eat_baybees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and family like to call that the Irish exit!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the irish exit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
aaah I see you mastered the ol' Irish Exit as well.
Caurus18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "Irish Goodbye" (New Girl)
okifenoki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. The Irish Goodbye.
uberphaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a.k.a. the "Irish goodbye".
beebMeUp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate having to enter a full room, stop conversation and tell the host I'm out. Everyone asks why you're leaving so soon and I have to lie repeatedly to several faces. The wife and kids have to be briefed on the plan or else it blows up in my face. Most of the time I just leave and deal with the excuses/potential shit storm later. However, I am very lenient when it comes to folks bailing on me this way. I get it.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, you are doing what all of us runners used to do. You need to go in with a solid team game plan. Code words, emergency exits, joint lie strategy....it's all there in the relationship handbook!
navalpain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the Irish Goodbye.
aggie972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just say goodbye to whoever I'm talking to at the time, and usually the host. I hate the idea of having to interrupt everyone's conversation and announce I'm leaving.
KabukiBaconBrulee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed and I also find it a bit presuming. I'm not a dignitary, I'm just super tired and/or too tipsy to continue being social
HelloDepression ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just did this yesterday haha
CatholicAlternate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time.
Poisonpkr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The French exit
jarrydjames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irish goodbye
DooDooBrownz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im with ya there, i started doing that, it's amazing and people are too drunk to remember or care that you didn't bid them farewell on the way out.
TossTheDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AKA - "Pulling a Murphy"
RicRod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The classic Irish Exit
ConstableGrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Minnesota Goodbye. You say, "Well, I should probably be going" and then you sit on the couch and talk for another half hour. Then you go put your shoes and jacket on and talk in the doorway for 20 minutes, then you walk out to the car with your host and either stand next to the car or get in the car and roll down the window and talk for another 10 minutes, and then you drive away.
bassistmuzikman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ol' Irish Goodbye
Jokers247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to call this the French exit, the Irish goodbye, or the drunk magician.
elsani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goodbyes are SO awkward.. I am so okay with just leaving.
burts_beads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I go around to each person I care about to say bye and tell them I'm sneaking out. That way I disrespect nobody but get to leave without the whole party saying bye at once and delaying me.
jellybellysotasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate goodbyes, its so much easier to just walk away really
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I KNOW! I dont want to walk around the entire party saying goodbye to tens of other people.
-eDgAR- ยท 4876 points ยท Posted at 14:46:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Day drinking. As long as it doesn't become a problem, I don't see a reason why you shouldn't be able to enjoy a beer at 11am.
candyredfish ยท 3928 points ยท Posted at 15:32:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning!
PRNmeds ยท 1816 points ยท Posted at 16:48:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can drink if you want to!
You can leave your friends behind..
LetItByrne ยท 873 points ยท Posted at 17:27:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because if your friends don't drink and if they don't drink well they're no friends of mine
MitchMcConnellsShell ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 19:26:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can belch. We can belch.
a_wild_douchebag ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:01:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybodys drinking the Schapps
BoomerKeith ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:25:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say, we can day drink if we want to!
everyonecallsmekev ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:29:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If we don't nobody will, And you can act real rude and totally removed and I can act like an imbecile!
sips beer
Danni293 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:09:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can drink! We can drink! Everything is out of control!
everyonecallsmekev ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:22:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're doing it from pole to pole!
DRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNKKKK
mikredditor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:25:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can drink! We can drink! Everybody look its 10!
Paparatzi911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D-
Slnt666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Balloon knot
Slnt666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my
Slnt666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suuuuuuluuuuuuuuuu suuuuuulu
DigiDuncan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We're doing it before the Pope (?)"
Retro21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:24 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This chain of comments sounds worryingly like a song that would appear in a Disney film.
MitchMcConnellsShell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:31 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'The Safety Dance' by Men with Hats (or without Hats, I always mix it up)
KulaanDoDinok ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:47:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can drink if we want to, if we don't nobody will.
ionwesker ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:44:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can chug if we want to, as long as nobody wants the wine
_crackling ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:02:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The drinks are my friends. My only friends. I... I'm so ronery.
Mediumtim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol is my friend - the chocolate lesbians
SFW
reverendcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take off your pants.
NintendoDestroyer89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, pour a coke if you want to, then go ahead and add some rum.
SavagedChinHair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We can take drugs if we want to, if we don't nobody will
PsychoAgent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My only regret is... that I have... boneitis.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess we're not friends, then :(
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
S
PM_ME_UR_DRUNK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So this is why I'm not accepted into any social circles.
sodiyum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need you people in my life.
WalrusMasterRace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
High school was rough for you I see
Cmrade_Dorian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
L...I...V...E...R...Failure!
Stewbodies ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:44:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you may be an alcoholic.
Nekthyst ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MOM'S SPAGHETTI!
TankTopsAndBeatDrops ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:37:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cause your friends are productive members of society
And you're a raging alcoholic!
alfredthecrab1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:23:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But erf ther dern drenk then ther dern drenk wer der ner FRERNZAMERNAAAAAHHHAAAHAHAHAAHAHA
pirarchy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:10:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cause your friends don't drink and if they don't chug then they're no WHO WANTS TO SEE ME JUMP OFF THE ROOF INTO THE KIDDIE POOL?
CravenBoomstick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because if the drink don't drink, and if you don't drink then you're no drink to drink.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. I started your comment out with the tune.
ROTCHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because your friends don't drink, and if they don't drink, then they're no friends of mine
thclvr1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and your kids...
alblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't drink if you don't eat your meat!
13rett ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:28:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cause your friends don't drink and if they don't drink
Well, they're no friends of mine
Horny-Dolphin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:28:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cause your friends don't drink and if they don't drink, Well, they're no friends of mine
MrGingerToYou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cause your friends don't drink and if they don't drink Well, they're no friends of mine
chumpynut5 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:24:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cause your friends don't drink and if they don't drink then they ain't no friends of mine!
Girfgin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:46:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cause your friends don't drink, And if they don't drink...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:14:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cuz if your friends don't dance, then their no friends of mine?
SlightlyOffensive ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:57:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking before 10AM makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.
EagleSongs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's only if you're drinking rum.
Kneel_Legstrong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-mother teresa
Enphyniti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't drink all day if you don't start right away!
FTFY
micangelo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're my hero
kisforkate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has been my family's motto forever. It may even be on the family crest.
Synux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you can but you have to loop-around to the following day.
solisu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...mind blown
hollanes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Cause of your friends don't drink and if they don't drink Well, they're no friends of mine.
Skidvish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a drinking problem. It's everyone else that has a problem with my drinking.
pipedreamSEA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
ska_robot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents got me a flask with this quote on it last Christmas - I don't even drink
MagnumMagnets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like a true fisherman.
aperture81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As my alcoholic neighbor used to say each morning "it's after lunch somewhere in the world!"
horsesaysmoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if you start in the morning you may as well drink all day!
kyleadam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, my dad invented that saying.
BZLuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch me.
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ding ding ding
killer8424 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Psh. Amateur.
EarthboundCory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have day drank a lot on vacations, and I end up drinking late into the night. You just can't start with hard liquor at 10 AM. You need to do beer until about 8-9 PM.
easymak1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhhh I disagree. The next day will be HELL, but I've done it.
reddirected ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can if you don't wake up until it's afternoon.
jedikunoichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha in my family it's, "you can't be drunk by noon if you don't start early!"
jmmdc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remember: you only get hungover if you stop drinking
MurgleMcGurgle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:44:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Walmart T-shirt.
HardAsSnails ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:32:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a challenge!
senatorskeletor ยท 578 points ยท Posted at 15:41:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because then I get sleepy and need to take a nap in the middle of the day, and usually I miss out on my evening events too.
Otherwise, it's fucking awesome.
SirNoName ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:04:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worst part of noon games in college.
Everyone gets good and drunk for the game, then passes out for a couple hours after.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:37:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you wake up at 10pm just in time to PARTY!
SirNoName ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:54:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the 5 guys who manage to rally, while all the chicks go "I'm so tired thooooo"
macotine ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:17:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, you wake up at 10 pm with a colossal hangover
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:32:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like a walking party.
Trivi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:09:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best way to get rid of that hangover? PARTY!
aerosol999 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:43:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, and then I drink more so I stop shaking.
pantless_pirate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing 2 advil, 5mg of adderall, and a gatorade cant fix.
mclollolwub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah if you get wasted out of your tits
AlohALLday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always start to get hungover after halftime because the stadium is dry.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:00:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
zefy_zef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like that with food sometimes.
Master_of_Fail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have one food and feel like sleeping?
Etonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about half a beer?
oxideseven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't tried that, sounds wasteful hahah
brewtality777 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:09:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why at around like 4:00pm you take a quick disco nap then by 10:00 you're ready to rage till the sun comes up
Sandman1031 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:33:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We called them frat naps
RedTheWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the only one that used that expression! I love a disco nap :-)
nanie1017 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I slept from 11pm to 4pm last weekend. I felt guilty till I remembered I was a fucking adult that didn't have to work or do anything I didn't freaking feel like. I love those moments.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does alcohol really make people tired? It does the opposite for me, ends up fucking up sleep disorder.
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naps are a great power, great responsibility sort of thing. I'm good at them, but my girlfriend is not. If I don't have her up before two hours, she's doing a full night's sleep, even if it's fucking noon. And then it's my fault for instigating the naptime in the first place, when it was her idea to put on a movie to watch while we cuddled.
Anyways. Cut your naps off at the right point. You want to be refreshed, not lethargic. Too much sleep is bad for naptime.
rellim_63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All evening events are cancled during football season.
ReleaseTheRobot ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 00:38:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One beer will do that to you? You must have a vagina.
senatorskeletor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:25:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't stop at just one when I'm day drinking. I also don't have a vagina but do think people who talk like that are assholes.
pyro5050 ยท 2075 points ยท Posted at 16:02:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addictions Counsellor here
on Saturday when i wake up and have my house clean by 8am, i am damn well gonna sit down, have a beer or two, then crank the AC and take a fucking nap. my co-workers found out and were shocked. what does the time of day have ANYTHING to do with enjoying a beer or two? if it becomes a problem, a daily thing, something that i need to function... then i have a problem.
hatervision ยท 254 points ยท Posted at 17:02:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it stems from people thinking that you NEED a drink to be able to function, rather than just wanting to relax and enjoy a couple of drinks. Every year, I go on an obligatory beach trip with my family, my dad and his wife are pretty conservative, and my two sisters and their husbands act conservative when they're around my dad. Somebody will always say something to me if I crack a beer at 10 or 11am like I am some huge alcoholic or something. I always just give them a smartass comment in return like, "gee, I sure hope this won't interfere with me sitting in the sand and sweating!" It's also funny to me how, in their minds, there's a big difference in drinking a beer at 11am vs noon. They also like to judge if we're all at a restaurant and I'm the only one who orders a drink/beer, like I'm "drinking alone." My wife's family, on the other hand - they're Colombian and don't give a shit what I do at any point in the day, so it's kind of a no-brainer why I spend more time with them..
loljetfuel ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 20:19:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's so much stigma in that, too. Like the only reason you'd ever have alcohol is as a social lubricant. Sometimes after a long day at work, I have the house to myself and I want pizza -- and beer goes great with pizza.
Who cares if I'm alone?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:52:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cichlidassassin ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:11:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so you should up that to four....
hatervision ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:56:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone is quite relaxing a lot of the time. Less judgement too!
thrillreefer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:08:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll go one further: being drunk alone. Obviously if it's a frequent occurrence, then it's a big red flag of a substance abuse problem. But if I live a healthy, solid life, why is there anything wrong with me mixing up a strong drink or a few and getting nice and toasty by myself as I watch Planet Earth or try to write 'profound' drunken poetry? I do this probably a few times a year, and I make great company for drunken me!
CharaFallsLikeATree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I do, I want pizza and beer and you're hogging both!!
marry_me_sarah_palin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:24:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I experienced something similar on my annual camping trip. We just spend the days floating on rafts and playing fetch in the lake with the dogs. It is such a care-free environment, and we'll be drinking beers all day. One year my brother came and brought his wife. She got upset when someone offered her a beer with breakfast. Then she saw us all having breakfast beers and started chastising us for drinking so early. None of us are alcoholics, we don't drink until the evenings in our regular lives, but bitch when we're camping and floating on an inflatable raft is my plans for the day, I'm gonna enjoy a breakfast beer.
mcmanusart ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:28:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pissing conservatives off is fun in itself. If you can do that while drinking at 11am on a beach all the more fun!
Taervon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:31:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conservatives are a bit like the incredible hulk, they're ALWAYS angry.
Theonenerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm conservative and this pisses me off!
Shit...
trentblase ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:05:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're supposed to use the hours between 10am and 12pm in focused consideration of God.
hatervision ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:27:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guzzling On Drinks?
dragontail ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:28:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...by zombies.
TheBatPencil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, God does want us to drink wine on Sunday mornings.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family is Christian conservatives so I never drink around them. Or do anything of the sort. I love my family, but in a lot of ways they don't know the real me, nor do I want them to. I can't imagine telling them I'm an atheist and don't but into any of their beliefs since like 9th grade...
acepenguiin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Us Colombians can drink any time of the day and make out a party lol
hatervision ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no right or wrong time for aguardiente haha
acepenguiin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is true
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hmm...
safely-afloat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you see the Japanese on vacation, it is pretty normal for them to start drinking beer/sake at 10 am.
critical_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I may want a Columbian wife.
GREEN_BULLSHIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To them, there is a time and a place for it. Sometimes I'll wake up at 5pm and have a beer with my food (read: breakfast), and somehow that's more acceptable than the guy who's been awake for three hours when he has a beer at 10pm
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:06:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they're Colombian and don't give a shit what I do at any point in the day as long as I cut lines out for them, too
ftfy
baconnmeggs ยท 1489 points ยท Posted at 16:29:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why on earth would you tell your co-workers this? Substance abuse counselors are some of the most judgemental people ever. I guess they kinda have to be
[deleted] ยท 2298 points ยท Posted at 16:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Because hes clearly a fucking man who does what he wants.
N34TXS-BM ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:47:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean sure, I do what I want too but I don't tell my mother I smoked at least half my paychecks in weed over the course of college because I don't want to have never ending grief.
Keegan320 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:16 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but that's actually worth being ashamed of (no offense, I did it too) whereas having a couple beers whenever isn't necessarily a big deal
RedMikeYawn ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:42:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That man fucks!
Kepgnar ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:08:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been known to fuck myself.
WOLLYbeach ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:53:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been known to fuck myself from time to time
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do what you want cause a pirate is free
robozom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yar har, fiddle dee dee
Being a pirate is alright to be.
ChasingALightningBug ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:02:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not clearly a man, could be a woman. Just sayin.
pyro5050 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:10:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
naw, i am a guy. :) married almost 3 years now. :)
Stoic_stone ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:24:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
only guys get married
thipp ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:52:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, Obama.
Fuck_Your_Mouth ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here we fucking go again... someone fucked up by making a casual assumption and light hearted comment that someone was a guy
Cheeseologist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:51:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, only you fucked up by having a hissy fit.
KING_0F_REDDIT ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:54:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*or a woman.
FishWash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He can do whatever he wants, but if he wants his co-workers to not judge him, then he should also want to not tell them about his day-drinking. It not horribly complicated.
Frostiestone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As he damn well should. Hell, everyone should! No rulez guys
Sighlina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To assert dominance in counseling world, you have to do the unthinkable.
RonPaul_Was_Right ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And we fucking respect that.
Cheeseologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not clearly a man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He works into the office with a damn six packs of hard bitter. He doesn't give a single shit.
xsparr0w ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best response is best.
informationmissing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:03:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because he's clearly a man who does whatever he fucking wants.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or a liar
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:41:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know why you'd get up so early on a Saturday to have your house clean by 8am, only to then have a nap.
cth777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
only important reply in this thread
compulsiveasshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
routine probably.
myrevenge ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 18:19:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny because a number of my friends work in addiction and mental health and they are frequent, but very responsible, users of drugs (LSD, pot, mushrooms, etc). They are very conscious of when, how and why they use.
I think it actually makes them better at their jobs to have a moderate perspective on drug use, and they fully recognize that each person has an individualized relationship to these substances so no single rule can apply to everyone.
pyro5050 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:44:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because when you get down to it, i dont give two shits what anyone thinks of me other than my parents and my wife. my self esteem is mine, and if i want a beer at 8am, i will have a beer. :)
i probably will on saturday this week too. :)
zcab ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The beer I had breakfast wasn't bad. So I had one more for dessert.
thinker99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-Kris Kristofferson
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kris did Sunday Morning Coming Down?
thinker99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:22 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:33 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All this time... the lyrics even sound like him now that you say that.
thinker99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really enjoy his recorded version of the song, though it really is one that Johnny makes his own.
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:38 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely one of my favorite songs. Johnny is one of my all time favorites though. So a lot of songs he sang are favorites.
thinker99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:27 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More info on Johnny and Kris and SMCD.
Bonus. I'd give a lot to have been there that night.
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:57 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome, thanks!
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:30 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in Hendersonville. Used to ride our boat past Johnny's backyard.
baconnmeggs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:49:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, more power to ya! I totally agree with you, just thought it was an odd thing to tell your co-workers, given your line of work :)
Buddy_Up ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:43:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a way, it is good that he don't give a shit. If they react on this, imagine how judgmental they are towards clients...
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And even then, your wife is the only opinion that really matters.
Redemptions ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:18:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the response is because something like 50% of substance abuse counselors are in recovery themselves.
Source, I worked for a huge rehab company for 10 years.
baconnmeggs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised the statistic is that low, to be honest
hitlerosexual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well a lot of psychiatrists have a lot of mental health problems of their own as well. I can't say I'm too surprised.
forte_bass ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:43:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg tell me about it. My mother is a social worker and worked with AlAnon for a while. I was 28 before I felt comfortable having even a single drink around her, with all the questions and interrogation I went through every time. I mean, I understand taking drinking seriously, but damn.
ghostin_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:20:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Former social worker here. Worked in child welfare (NOT CPS) for 3 years. I never, EVER, thought about sharing my marijuana habits with my co-workers. The misinformation in the field is mind blowing.
LTmilton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rly? In my experience, drug counselors are former addicts, so they're the LEAST judgmental.
Gonzobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, if it were me, I'd be telling them about all the things they assume I'm doing anyways. Counselors aren't all prudes. My current coke connection used to do addictions counseling for at risk youth. He stopped doing it when he got depressed and his coke habit got worse.
psymunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe depends on the setting. Most of the ones I know aren't phased unless your injecting heroin into your eye during your lunch break. The bar is just so much lower than weekend beer
Lyeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We had a substance abuse counselor come into one of those meetings you have during your first week of college. I was a pretty boring kid and hadn't even really drank excessively and certainly hadn't done any drugs by the time I was 18. They were going around, trying to get folks to share stories about how they did one of these things so they could 'counsel' them.
Dude got MAD at me for not having one of these stories and accused me of lying. Like, it is possible that an 18 year old, particularly an 18 year old at a seven sisters college, got to that age without dabbling in drugs or serious binge drinking and they shouldn't be yelled at for such a thing.
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ridiculous, sorry that guy was a douche to you. Honestly you should be commended for not trying drugs and alcohol before that she. Your developing brain thanks you!
Lyeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:20 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was just such a bizarre thing to be chided for. You're going to be mad at me for NOT doing illegal things?
I've made up for it as an adult. My liver says 'uuughhhh'
Slnt666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I buy pills from a drug counselor. No joke
Lampshade_express ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mental health counselor, but many of our patients have substance abuse problems too. One of the nurses I work with told me that marijuana is the "worst drug in the world" (exact words) and that is causes psychotic disorders. He doesn't know I smoke after work, oops.
cuttlefish_tragedy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's sad. =/ Marijuana absolutely can exacerbate psychotic disorders (or take a predisposed person and tip them over the edge), as components of it (mainly THC) are hallucinogenic, but... if the person didn't have (or wasn't about to have) a psychotic disorder to begin with, having a toke after work sure isn't going to cause it!
panther_heaven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WTF? So, I guess meth is basically aspirin? It's bad enough that this kind of misinformation exists, let alone in the minds of educated health care professionals.
Lampshade_express ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny b/c Tylenol causes liver damage, but nobody seems to care about that
DashFerLev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/showerbeer
mightybonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, every substance abuse counselor I've met has been a drinking, smoking hedonist.
JuansterMONSTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who is in a support group similar to NA , your wrong. Addiction councillors aren't judgmental , at least not in my experience
Decider_Wets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've met some of the most understanding counselors that went through shit of their own. Honesty is what is important.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
horneke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:38:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with that? The KKK is a group of people. I think we can all agree that they, as a whole, are a little judgemental.
I'll give you a minute to think about that.
baconnmeggs ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:15:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well in my experience, and I've had a lot of experience with this group, they are very judgemental when comes to alcohol and drugs. It makes total sense, as it's their line of work. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing, it's just something I've noticed.
But thanks for being condescending, you're awesome
Tokiehardo ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 18:40:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And so you are being judgmental towards the other commenter's coworkers.
Amp3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I have brown hair and I say all blond haired people are judgemental it is not hypocritical that I myself are also judgemental.
jtb3566 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. I worked at a juvenile rehab center and we got fucked up every weekend + 'All you can drink' on Thursdays.
Konker101 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:15:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they arent the ones with problems.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the kind of job that would attract people with a deep-seated and irrational hate of drugs.
Mujlet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:17:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is a substance abuse counselor. I've never seen her say a word about anyone drinking at any time, unless they did have a known addiction, or they were drinking to excess.
Hell, at her work's Christmas "White Elephant" party there were about 10 substance abuse counselors, and almost every gift had wine of some sort, or a little bottle of something hard.
I've heard them say it's not for them to judge other people, but to help them get better. "Just because you have a problem I don't, doesn't mean I'm any better than you are."
third-eye-brown ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you go around picking and choosing which pieces of your life to share with people? Sounds exhausting.
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually yes. I portray different sides of myself based on the company I'm around. Anyway, I wasn't judging the guy, I was genuinely surprised.
FoeHamr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:46:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends have this no booze before 5 thing that I just don't get. It's been a long week at work, if I want to sip whiskey while doing my homework at 11 Saturday morning, move over I'm making a stiff old fashioned.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:39:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, thats the bomb. Wake up Saturday morning, pour myself a vodka and orange juice, and clean the house. Then you're sitting in a nice clean house, a little buzzed, throw on a good tv show and snooze. Perfect Saturday.
Sevendaymonday ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:49:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to always save a little beer from the night before on the bed stand next to me. Morning-Beer, as it became known, was the best thing for getting the stale beer taste out of your mouth from the night before if you intended to lie in bed for a bit before getting up.
It was the vodka on the cornflakes that became the problem though.
itsamee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!!! I thought it was weird to have a beer in the shower at 9am. I fucking love beer and drink whenever i want, but never when it would cause problems (work, driving etc..) your comment reassured me it is fine.
Y___ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you extend this mindset to every drug? If there are people who can use heroin in a way that doesn't debilitate their life, do they have a problem? It's a long shot, but definitely possible. I'm in treatment for substance abuse because I had a few pills of adderall I wasn't prescribed and all I hear is how much of a problem I have with drugs. I'm just like, "dude I used them here and there when they were available, I was never dependent." No one cares about that, I'm just another addict in the system.
pyro5050 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:34:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i know i am a different type of addictions counsellor, and it has gotten me in trouble with my bosses before, but here is a comment i made a while back
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2hz52n/what_is_your_crazy_idea_that_just_might_work/ckxjkdc
the problem i run into is when people are not honest with themselves. be honest with yourself about your use. if you honestly only use occasionally and it is not impacting major life areas, then why worry? focus on improving the other areas of your life and you might notice you dont even need the adderall at all! i would like people to be drug and medication free.
but that isnt my call, that is your call, i find healthy living to be a much better high than any drug, and i occasionally use alcohol to relax/enjoy/reward but the 48 beer i bought on Thursday will probably last at my house for 2 months unless i have people over.
Y___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We need more people like you in the system man. I never thought I had a problem with drugs, I used sporadically. It never took a toll on my health, responsibilities, anything. But now, it has basically boiled down to putting my head down and saying how addicted to drugs I was because I must be wrong if I got a possession charge.
pyro5050 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Major life areas as i mentioned are what you need to look at. in my organization we boiled it down to these
1: Education
2: Employment
3: Family
4: Financial
5: Legal
6: Leisure
7: Mental Health
8: Physical Health
9: Relationships (friends and such)
10: spirituality (major changes in beliefs)
if you noticed that there were impacts to any of those areas, i would look at how you can improve your life. life is a balance, find some healthy hobbies. :)
Y___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got plenty of hobbies. The only struggles I have are 4 and 5, but a BS in psychology gets you nowhere these days, so hopefully an advanced degree will help. But I'd say that's a good list. Keep on doing what you're doing man.
smokemonmast3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IMO addiction is much less a factor of WHAT you do and much more a factor of WHY
LurkerOrHydralisk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. I went to see an addictions counselor preemptively as part of making a court case go more smoothly.
He asked how much I'd drank when I visited my friend at a bar, and when I said a beer, and the single shot of whiskey poured for me free that I thought it polite to drink, he asked if I had caught a buzz from it. He said that anyone who has ever gotten a buzz from drinking is an alcoholic. He couldn't define catching a buzz, or what the limit was, and he couldn't explain how someone could know what their personal limit was or what an appropriate amount was without ever having caught a buzz. The whole thing was a joke, and he was clearly there to line someone's pockets (possibly his own from the pictures of him on a boat around his office). It was ridiculous. Dude has an addiction to judging people.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah... that guys an idiot then...
we have a nice screening tool we use to see if someone has concerns with alcohol (btw, i do not use alcoholic as it is a negative connotation label, i prefer my clients to be empowered to make better choices in life than to resort to "i'm an alcoholic, what did you expect" type mentality)
anyhow, the screening tool has 24 questions used to help us find an intensity to work with you on. question 1 is "the last time you drank, how much did you drink? A: enough to get high or less b: enough to get drunk C: enough to pass out
this is ONE question, with a weight of 2 out of 47, for a SCREENING TOOL, not a diagnostics tool, which do not exist in addictions counselling, because all clients are different.
i dont make a killing doing what i like, but i like it, it is fun, and i find it easy, some people in private counselling (i find more and more americans do not like addictions counsellors because they are fee for service most often) do it for the money. i dont own a boat... i own two vehicles, one is paid off... i got new goalie gear 8 days ago, that was a nice treat for selling my house and getting a cheaper place... you need to find a new counsellor... that guy is a tool...
LurkerOrHydralisk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:03:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, definitely did not continue to see him. Went two sessions, he signed some papers for my lawyer after agreeing that we didn't see eye to eye. I figured after dealing with rampant heroin addiction and people with actual alcohol problems (everyone else in the waiting room was a heroin addict, it's big in my city), someone like me who ended up with a "guilt by association" charge because someone with me ha a little pot he'd not be overbearing and stupid about it, but he was definitely immediately under the impression that everything I said was a lie and that I must be an addict. It was pretty disgusting. His logic was that because I was there I must have a major problem, and that the fact that I had a legal issue meant that it was interfering with my livelihood, with no consideration of circumstance or that the law might be the issue. There's plenty of people for whom someone like you is a major help, it's just a shame that some are so gung-ho about everyone seeing them definitely having a major issue. Can't blame the profession for one quack though, certainly.
On a personal note, my stuff was all null processed and expunged quickly, because it was bullshit in a bullshit legal system, but a guy like him couldn't accept that eventuality.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
some of us younger bucks in the system do, and many more are professional instead of recovered. we look at it differently. :)
glad to hear things worked out fine for you. sucks you had to go through the hassle.
AlexanderTheLess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there has been some study pointing that a good indicator for one's propensity to alcoholism is when they start drinking in the day, and starting the day with a drink/beer does make one far more inclined to alcoholism.
This is merely an indicator and not proof of alcoholism. Addiction and susbtance abuse is (generally) poorly understood, so your friends might just be dumb. Me personally, I look for 'the shakes' when seeing if someone is an alcoholic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a problem when you need that beer before all the cleaning/productive stuff you do during the day. Needing an "eye-opener" is a sign of a problem.
Solkre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds awesome, can I do that without the cleaning work part?
Who am I kidding, I wouldn't be up at 8am.
Nix-geek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I felt this way after finishing all the yard work yesterday, at 9:30 am. I get up really early to get it done so that I'm not sweating balls at noon or later. It's my Sunday, I can be drunk by noon if I've done my chores (not that I did or that I was) :)
donteatmysandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People give me shit because I eat leftovers for breakfast. I don't want pancakes when I wake up, and I don't have enough time to cook bacon. So fuck it, I'll eat these leftover buffalo wings.
Why does the time of day dictate what I can eat/ drink?
CptBarbosa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why are you cranking the other addictions counsellors
LazyPalpatine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the whole point of addictions counseling to recognize when something is interfering with a person's life and when it's not? What's up with your coworkers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From one counselor to another, if you're using it as an eye-opener, then time does matter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem defensive about your drinking. Wanna talk about it?
phillychee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually reassuring. I'm being totally serious. I do the same!
sonofaresiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you know why. Because most people have responsibilities they need to take care of during the day, and being drunk means you won't be able to fulfill them adequately.
The issue is whether or not you actually have responsibilities that day, but it's easy to see how most people would be surprised that you're starting that early, because presumably you do have some that you're thus neglecting.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you are drunk after a beer or two that are enjoyed, not slammed, there are other questions to be asked...
sonofaresiii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one watching knows how many you've had, will have, or your tolerance level.
To be clear I'm only talking about others' perception. I love day drinking.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is you do it on a weekend. If you're at work and cracking a beer at 11, that's probably a problem. Unless you work in a brewery as a taste tester. But desk job? Beer in the morning is bad. But hell, drink your beer after doing some chores. It's your life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I started cleaning my house daily.... :(
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
clean before beer
Fuego_Fiero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha-ha, you sound like my dad. Do you practice harm reduction techniques, and if yes have you noticed a better recidivism rate than your colleagues who preach abstinence?
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
totally harm reduction. i am one of three counsellors with a 100% satisfaction from clients for every year i have worked... :) i specialize in high risk clients. but in January i moved and am now working normal population... i never knew that this job was so easy... :)
link6112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more of an make guy. But I'm a hot summer saturday one of those lemon or lime lagers that are around 2.5-3.5% They're refreshing as fuck.
Cold_Hard_FaceValue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
interesting word choice on your definition of a problem, for someone who's career is supposed to revolve around the subject
Cndn_rn42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I work night shift so my 7pm is your 7am. It's a nightcap for me. Not all the time, but my schedule is completely opposite so I'm gonna have that beer on the porch while you have to sit in rush hour.
aizxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you wake up early to do chores just to go take a nap when you're done? Why not just sleep in?
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
some of us just cant sleep in... i actually was able to sleep till 9:30 on saturday last week, but i also moved on my own and have been running ragged for 2 weeks... :)
spongish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Historically, beer actually use to be a breakfast beer, due to the high number of calories. Imagine sitting down with a full english breakfast and a pint of a heavy german beer and you'll get the picture.
TheSystem_IsDown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you said you were an addictions counselor I thought for sure you were gunna say drinking before noon is a sure sign of alcoholism and give him a card. Glad you didn't.
krusty-krab-pizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do they drug test you for the job? Just curious. Haha
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nope. :) but i also have so much education around substances that i could never imagine using anything other than an occasional beer. we joke about using crack, but that's never serious. :)
PaulClarkLoadletter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So my neighbor that has a beer every day at 11am might have a problem?
the_arkane_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work nightshifts and people would have a dig at me because I would get home after work at around 7am and have a beer or two while watching something before sleeping. The body doesn't magically convert alcohol into crippling addiction just because it is morning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It goes WAY back.
Acts 2:15 For these are not drunken, as ye suppose, seeing it is but the third hour of the day.
I love having really obscure bible passages become relevant.
Krunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction counselors tend to be a bit jumpy with that kind of thing. I idly said something to a room full of them about how I had cut myself, which was met with a concerned intervention trying to get me to seek help for my self-harm. When I said I meant I accidentally got a cut, I got a 5 minute lecture on why I shouldn't joke about self-harm. I wasn't even joking...
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i know what you mean!
my first thought was "doing what?" not "self harm"
rahtin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, if you get your drunk done earlier in the day, you're recovered in time for bed and you won't be hungover unless you really over did it.
Rawtashk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you wake up early, then take a nap? Just sleep in!
hitlerosexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you come to PA so I can have you as a counselor. Court ordered counseling because of being busted for weed is a pain. I quit cold turkey when I was caught and had no problem functioning, I think that's proof enough of a lack of an addiction.
mundabit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise, I'm going to enjoy a nice glass of red with my dinner after my last day of work for the week, who cares if that means I'm opening a bottle at 7am on a Tuesday morning, I work the graveyard shift and that's the start of my weekend.
dragoncloud64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having to take a nap at 8am sounds like a problem!
aksid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as someone who gets off work at 0700... i have no problem drinking in the morning.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I like a nice breakfast beer.
branded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this an American thing? Everywhere else I've been, its totally normal.
Taleya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couple of my coworkers used to get so much shit from their local bottle shop because every Friday morning, 8am, they'd be in there getting some beers.
Clearly some terrible drinking problem. Clearly. Clearly not because our shifts were 11pm-8am and friday morning was our friday night and we'd toss back a few while doing the weekly windup.
Aventine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My co workers all drink more than me and i'm 24 and a substance abuse counselor. Pretty much all weekend drinkers, where as i might have 1 beer a week, and then proceed to nap.
Ihatefatties500 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:04:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck is the point f waking up early if you're just going to take a nap rigt away
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a beer or two on saturday morning normally takes 2 hours of my time, i have been up since 5 am, at 10 i can take a nap and back up to be productive by 11, :)
dinosquirrel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:34:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It probably stems from the negative social stigma of being an alcoholic and going STRAIGHT to the bottle when you wake up. Perhaps the association with relaxing and drinking to do so and then being in a time where hard work was all you did be doing and not relaxing, 20s through 60s sort of idea. I'm just spitballing here but I'm sure it stems from something old.
psycho_admin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:18:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you find beer to be a reward shows you are already addicted in my opinion. Beer tastes like piss water that no one enjoys when they first try it. You had to drink enough beers to chemically alter your brain to enjoy the taste and to view it as a reward for a hard days work. That alone to me says you are addicted to beer so I don't care if you are enjoying it at 3AM, 11AM, 3PM, or 11PM, its all a bad sign.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
then your definition of addiction is flawed. addiction is when the substance impacts major life areas. not enjoying the taste of a beer.
psycho_admin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you claim to be an addictions counselor but you don't even know the fucking definition of addiction. Take for example this definition:
Lets see, you started off disliking beer and now you receive a pleasurable effect from beer. Sounds like your brain is fucked up due to overuse of alcohol to the point where your brain isn't the shit taste of beer properly and you now associate the shit taste as a reward.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:06 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you cherry picked a sentence and did not look at the entire article, you also skipped over the previous paragraph, the first one, in the link that stated exactly what i did,
Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (e.g., alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (e.g., gambling, sex, shopping) that can be pleasurable but the continued use/act of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities, such as work, relationships, or health. Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others.^
Also, the sentence after you used states "An alcoholic walking into a bar, for instance, will feel an extra pull to have a drink because of these cues."
Also, you appeared to ignore the last paragraph of your own link that states clearly "When referring to any kind of addiction, it is important to recognize that its cause is not simply a search for pleasure and that addiction has nothing to do with one's morality or strength of character."
so essentially, you chose a sentence from a definition that is not the complete form of the definition, ignoring the other sections of the exact multifaceted definition to try and make your point. the sentence after the one you quoted gives more clarity to the definition of addiction, and ignore ALL other aspects of what makes an addiction an addiction. such as continued use despite harm to major life areas, such as
1: Education
2: Employment
3: Family
4: Financial
5: Legal
6: Leisure
7: Mental Health
8: Physical Health
9: Relationship (such as friendships and co-workers)
10: Spirituality
but hey, keep on keeping on, i will stay at my 90 grand a year job that i earned with my degree in Addictions Counselling, which is a Bachelor of Health Science, from the University of Lethbridge which is one of the few Universities that offers a four year degree.
And you can stay on the other side of the internet, using faulty quotes to try and back a flawed view of the world that is possibly skewed by being personally impacted by addictions, either your own use, or someone close to you. either way, you might want to try some form of counselling, and maybe attempt to remove the foggy veil you are viewing addiction with.
psycho_admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:54 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you are such a piece of shit you have to try to bring up your degree of how much money you make as some sort of defense. Am I suppose to be impresses by your pay, your degree from some university I never heard of, or the fact that you ignored the definition in order to try to deny that you are addicted to beer? But please keep telling yourself that stuff matters as you once again go and drink a beer due to your addiction to it.
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:49 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The degree, wage, university are to show that yes, in fact i do know what i am talking of, enough so that i am being paid an above average salary to do what i do.
also, note that i did not ignore your definition, i used the complete definition, not some segment of the definition. the segment you chose is to show that physical symptoms of addiction also is able to be social or triggered by environmental cues, not only consumption. aka, walking past a liquor store creating cravings, a tobacco user associating coffee and a cigarette and every time they have a coffee they have a craving for nicotine.
it is a section, there is more to it.
but hey, judge me all you want, i do not care. i know my life better than you ever will. i also understand how addiction manifests and continues to develop over time.
psycho_admin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:24 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit. You responded multiple times and again tried to prove what a badass you are by listing your wages, degree/university, etc to make your e-penis bigger. But please go back to having to drink beer to make yourself feel better.
PrinceofDementia ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 15:57:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I was at the airport I had 2 beers before my 9:30 am flight.
double_ewe ยท 768 points ยท Posted at 16:07:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
all bets are off at the airport.
deputymeow ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 21:28:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't had a sober flight after turning 21
eaglessoar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hated flying, couldn't stand it, until I turned 21, get tipsy and fall asleep. I had a 7am flight, bar opened at 6am, ordered a double bloody mary, fell right back asleep on the flight. It's like you can pay $20 for fancy pillows and blankets to be comfortable or just buy a double bloody mary for $10 and be fine
claryn ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:37:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes and international flights are the best cause you usually get free wine and beer. I despise flying and a few years ago I took my longest flight yet from California to Japan. When the flight attendant came around and I ordered red wine, she saw my white knuckled fists clamped on the arm rests and went "I'll make sure to keep em' comin', sugar." Thank you merciful airplane lady.
deputymeow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
International flights = the only time I'll "think" about flying first class
deputymeow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah screw paying for those overpriced pillows. I just fill a ziplock bag with a shit load of mini bottles and ask for OJ/Seltzer. Plus, I always share with my neighbors which, more often than not, leads to getting free snacks in return.
margosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:07 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my mom recently introduced me to "bring as many 3 oz. bottles of rum on the plane as humanly possible" method. game changer, i tell ya
true_gunman ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:45:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely. I have a 3 hour layover in Milwaukee, I get there around 8:00 am and will be leaving at 11:00 and I'm sitting my happy ass at the bar for the entire three hours.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:53:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
double_ewe ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Georgia doesn't allow alcohol sales until 12:30 on Sunday afternoon. I learned this the very very hard way on a layover in Atlanta after an all-nighter in Playa del Carmen.
kodex1717 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:42:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Milwaukee. That sort of behavior is damn-near encouraged.
flaming_plutonium ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:31:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a city that names their baseball team "the brewers" has its priorities straightened out.
true_gunman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good to hear.
trentblase ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:08:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't know what timezone I'm on, biotch!"
NotThatJennyOK ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:09:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truth right here. Nobody bats an eyelash if you order a double shot, chug your beer because they've called you to board, then as soon as the flight's boarded the attendants will bring you/offer you a drink.
headbobbin_ichabod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Airports and Vegas.
Sweet_Sweet_RoboDick ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:49:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in the right circumstances, anything goes at the airport. Dude could walk by with a sock on his head, and you would be able to justify it to yourself somehow.
..."probably on a wicked lay over and forgot his beanie"
amberdus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:52:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Economy class? Drink. Crying baby? Drink. Paying an extra $115 for your bag, just because you're leaving university and have to take your shit home? Drink. Finished university? Drink. Have no fucking clue what you're doing with your life? Drunk
muddybunny3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a few guys that had a long trip from Washington state to Germany. They drank very heavily directly before the flight, hoping to pass out and wake up when it was all over. Sadly, they woke up an hour after falling asleep, with the worst hangovers they've ever had, for the remaining 13 hours or so.
TonyDungyHatesOP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hang on.... looking up apartments next to the airport.
DrMaxwellSheppard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And on the plane.
barunut ยท -31 points ยท Posted at 16:37:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I one time got so drunk on a flight from LA to Ft Lauderdale and went to use the bathroom but the line was too long so I just turned to the aisle next to me and began to pee on the family sitting there. I then got put in first class (it was empty) so that I could not disturb anyone else. First person off the flight, and no arrests or repercussions.
EliTheGod ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You peed on a family and they upgraded you to first class and there where no repercussions? Ok.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:41:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is like a Tucker Max story, but even more full of shit.
PerfectLogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. The fact that first class would ever be completely empty is also pretty suspect. OP is a bundle of sticks.
heyscrewyoutoo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:21:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit. Bullllllshiiiiiit. This is such bullshit. Why did 2 people even upvote it?
XxsquirrelxX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:48:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know whether to laugh or be pissed. Maybe both. I mean, I wouldn't want to be peed on, but you did get first class all to yourself.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he was pissed.
...and that family was both pissed off and pissed on...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: most people who are pissed on are simultaneously also pissed off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No shit!
PerfectLogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OP is obviously full of shit. That story never happened.
omarmctrigger ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:11:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time zones don't exist in airports. I thought that was common knowledge.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:23:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to the airport bars that no longer serve beer before 11am local time. Bastards.
The_CrookedMan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's the airport man. No One just enjoys waiting at the airport sober.
Lazy_Osprey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:58:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's exactly why they don't let you fly planes anymore.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Airports exist in a special place where it can both be 9:30am and 5pm and every other time at the same time.
RatsLiveInPalmTrees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Airports are hell. Based on my experiences there are no social rules that apply there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I drove across the continent to go skiing, I stopped at a little restaurant halfway down the mountain in this clearing for some food after a couple hours skiing.
It was lunch time, so I ordered a sandwich and a beer. The waiter immediately goes "Beer?" all judgemental and I'm like "Yeah, beer." like fuck you it's lunch time and I'm on vacation and I'll drink a couple beer and then hurtle down a mountain on waxed sticks at 30mph, because I do what I want.
I realized as I was sitting there sipping my beer that my watch wasn't adjusted for the change in time zone. It wasn't lunch, it was 8:30AM.
It's, uh, 12pm somewhere?
cerebralshrike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my pilot?
kissarmygeneral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's my favourite race.
Always-Stoned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a scotch at 7am after a night of... work or a few beers at 7pm before work.
issius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Airports don't count. Time is barely a thing there.
spygirl43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had Baileys in my coffee at 6:30 am the last time I flew. It was the start of my vacation so what the hell.
Nzxh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're not a very responsible pilot..
Shadowex3 ยท 426 points ยท Posted at 15:45:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Must be my inner redneck showing that I never heard of anyone thinking poorly of a cold beer after hard yardwork.
wirsteve ยท 566 points ยท Posted at 16:09:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fixed that for ya.
MechaDesu ยท 245 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always pregame yardwork
CoutolencRoad ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:53:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why my trees are all pruned crooked.
saliczar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put your left shoe back on.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man Friday afternoons I fire down a few tall boys before I even touch my lawnmower. I cut my grass on Thursday last week without drinking, and god damn that took forever.
Hiei2k7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True story. I'm post-gaming my yardwork right now.
Radeon3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually just turns into video games. Farm Simulator FTW.
bastardblaster ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:33:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That defined what I looked for in a riding mower. Cutting area? Don't care. Turning radius? Nope. Cup holder? Sold.
knitwasabi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BF had to buy a new mower this year.
"So, what's it like? Powerful? Does it cut better?"
"IT HAS A CUP HOLDER!!!!"
I'm thinking "When on earth did you ever put down your beer anyway?"
chosenignorance ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:43:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not for putting your beer down, it's to have another on stand by.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This man knows.
trentblase ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You put your beer down?
bastardblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tight turns are easier with two hands.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hank Hill would like a word with you.
Zaev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get drinking while mowing. Too much dust ends up airborne, and I really wouldn't wanna drink that.
Shadowex3 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:59:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's how you get a nickname like stumpy.
wirsteve ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:13:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure I am preaching to the choir.
In the event I'm not...
The key is to do all power tool work first. Wake up, have breakfast, then do any hedge-trimming, weed-whacking right away. If the task needs a chainsaw, do that too. That way, you can drink during the other tasks. The ones that won't scar you for life.
Say, laying down sod, pavers, things like that.
If math tought me anything, it was "order of operations"
turnsfast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:19:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the engineer. I'm with you 100%.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does that have to do with being an engineer?
halfdeadmoon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:54:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You drink after you drive the train
Kenny__Loggins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol I assumed he meant the type of engineer who does math and whatnot.
Stoic_stone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that was the joke, yes.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stoic as always.
turnsfast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the methodical thought proccess. Engineers are trained to think things through. Not everyone does that.
Stoic_stone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought things through long before I was an engineer
trentblase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some are trained to think that way, and some are born into it. Similar with law.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an engineering student, but I don't really think it's too hard to think through doing hard work first and then the less demanding stuff later.
turnsfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You would think so, but that has not been my experience. I'm in construction /sales. When I sit down with potential customers, I can pick out the engineers within few minutes by the questions they ask. Most people are operating on emotion and ego.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can definitely see you picking up on it in those situations.
Shadowex3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then you wind up with the driveway half covered in sod and the pavers that look like somebody dumped a bunch of tetris pieces on your lawn.
Stoic_stone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
all sharp power tool work! Drills are fine
craigmontHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So mixing roofs, chainsaws, weed eaters, lawnmowers and ladders after a 2-4 was a bad idea last weekend?
thatdude52 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:08:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tried mowing the lawn while drinking a beer, ended up drinking a 12 pack and falling asleep in my porch swing after.... when I woke up I looked at the lawn and my lines were all sorts of fucked up
Kepgnar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fixed that for ya.
Agent_Kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My lawn tractor comes with a "cup holder" that perfectly fits a 12oz beer. Coincidence I think not!
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin a!
sameasaduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. We had a big lawn growing up, so dad would hop on the riding lawnmower with a nice cold beer. By about halfway though he would reach the corner of the fence, where he had strategically pre-placed a second beer to get him through the rest of the mowing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
never stays cold, does it?
wirsteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like 98.6 degrees in my belly. So I would say it warms up pretty fast.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just make sure you're not on a riding mower. OWI/DUI risk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, drunken lawnmowing. My favorite hobby.
DAHMON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY, it makes sense now! Thank you so much.
Moegain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got two cords of wood to split? Call over some buddies, get a case of brew, and you've got a good day ahead of ya
cerebralshrike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cold beer instead of yardwork.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bought a house off a bloke which had a huuuuge back lawn. Guy had a big ride on mower to mow it. I asked him how long it took to mow that bit: "uhhh, about two beers?"
Blokes up in the bush measure time in beers.
goldenelephant45 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but when do you finish a hard job before noon?
Made_Just_For_Youuu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:14:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Early risers do this daily.
Tumblr_PrivilegeMAN ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you work outside in Florida and you start at 6 AM. I worked concrete jobs that had to finish before noon because the heat of the day would fuck up how the mix would set.
goldenelephant45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I used to work near Jacksonville so I know all about working in that Florida sun!
Jay_Train ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, anybody who lives in midwest/south. It is currently 101 degrees. Oy was 86 at sun up and 93 when my man chores were done today. So, the answer is anyone anywere hot that isn't a giant boob.
Torquelewith12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An ice cold Shiner Blonde after working my ass off outside? Hell yeah
JurassicArc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ran a marathon yesterday. First thing I did after I crossed the line and got my medal was break open a cold beer and smoke a cigarette.
rmoss20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First for everything, I spend all weekend outside in my garden, ect. Not a beer or any alcohol in the house. I like Mellow Yellow and gatorade :)
Shadowex3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at the same time?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
non-redneck, we hire rednecks to mow our lawns for $20
I kid, I kid.
Eight43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must be a redneck. yardwork = beer.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a programmer and it's the same with us. A lunch beer after a solid morning programming (lunch being 1pm-ish usually) isn't unheard of. Not common, but also not frowned upon.
Wargame4life ยท 623 points ยท Posted at 15:32:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because its a declaration that the day cant hold any productivity.
the richer you are the more acceptable it is, you used to pour a friend a drink in business meetings etc.
StolenWatson ยท 1489 points ยท Posted at 16:34:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also have seen the documentary "Mad Men"
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:23:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roger Sterling: "They say once you start drinking alone, you're an alcoholic. I'm really trying to avoid that" Don Draper: "So I guess I'm helping both of us"
nixiedust ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:44:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
work in advertising, can confirm day drinking still happens
metalissa ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Work in advertising, can confirm I'm at the wrong agency.
nixiedust ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:32:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, the more day drinking usually the more stressful the gig. It's not always a good trade. Plus, your weekend drinking is still special!
ParaTodoMalMezcal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:30:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% this. The last place I worked that was big on day drinking was also big on 80+ hour weeks
metalissa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes that's true. We have 'pie day' on Fridays because it's our most stressful day due to media deadlines, and there's a bakery nearby that has the best meat pies, it's pretty great.
metalissa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh! Happy Cake Day too!
SimplyRH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...clink
Ilovemyfuckingjob
BasketeerOverHere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along with the dark comedy, Horrible Bosses.
TediousGlaswegian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is true. People often have some drinks while networking at conferences, which are generally still "work" especially because quite often you are speaking or presenting your work while there.
Llim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also House of Cards
firefox9123 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:40:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be the secret man who drinks at work. I am the man that just exploded, give me his trophies! Yowza!
Sweet_Sweet_RoboDick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:50:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude just watch "Alfred Hitchcock Presents".....all anyone does is smoke in between their day drinks. It was a simpler time
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:58:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you were born without parents. When my grandmother died, we moved about 8 moving boxes of alcohol glassware and accessories, and a wine, liquor collection of about 40+ bottles. So many things I've never even heard of. I worked in a bar, with 80+ beers on tap and several shelves of liquor. My grandmother had more variety of glassware and 'tools' then the bar had. That's just apparently how her and all her friends were. Think Mad Men, but more middle class and more drinking.
HRP ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 16:38:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who gives a fuck about productivity? Why do people have to constantly be doing work?
dearsergio612 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:16:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Capitalism.
shnnrr ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:41:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Puritan work ethic.
amountainofyawns ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:24:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking exactly. Say my family goes up to the cottage; no one sits around enjoying themselves. Always work to be done. Nope, can't relax today, 1500 things must be done by noon, then another 1800 in the afternoon. Fuck that. I came here to relax for at least an afternoon, if not an entire day. If I wanted to bust my ass, I woulda picked up overtime at work and get paid to work all Saturday. Work has to be done from time to time, yes. But not all fucking day every day.
HRP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. A few years ago I had this happen when I went to an ex-SO's family's cabin in the middle of nowhere in Michigan. Gotta take care of grandma, gotta do everyone's dishes, gotta fix one of the boats, gotta do this and this and that and that. Her mom felt like a god damned slave driver at some points.
I never went back there again. That was no vacation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because otherwise they can't complain about the guys making minimum wage working their asses off wanting a raise when they themselves would go home after 2 hours.
Zephyr104 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's between 7am-5pm, most people seeing as most people have bills to pay.
SonOfALich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's assuming you're lucky enough to have a job with normal hours.
SexyGenius_n_Humble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife works in marketing. She gets to drink at lunch if the desire strikes, and they bring in booze to the office for friday afternoons.
hamsterwheel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:59:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
competition?
Ballrekt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck that. Life is for living
hamsterwheel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:51:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
someone will outwork you and reap the benefits. Thats just the nature of life.
OllyTrolly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Don't see why you can't be productive after a drink or two, especially if it's work done at a desk or on a computer.
IllusoryIntelligence ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:22:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too subscribe to the Balmer Peak method of software development.
https://xkcd.com/323/
OllyTrolly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh how did you know ;P
FUZxxl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:09:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's common in Germany to have a glass of beer for lunch. Courts have ruled that as long as you don't get drunk and don't have to do any tasks that require sobriety (e.g. driving or operating machinery), then that's totally fine and not a valid reason to fire you.
BonkeyKongCountry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't do work in the yard without a beer. If it's hot and I'm putting in fence posts, or painting, mowing, anything really, you'd better believe there's a cold beer next to my tools.
Solomaxwell6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think so.
If I have one beer, I'm perfectly fine. It's not enough alcohol to hurt my productivity, and it won't even be that long before the alcohol is totally out of my blood stream.
I get that that's kind of how people perceive it. But it's really dumb.
iamunstrung ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:37:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to ze Germans!
INextroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's 8:15 in the morning!
http://youtu.be/jTLDILFQnsQ
Wargame4life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is that film any good i need to watch something and was considering it?
INextroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, it's rental worthy. I wouldn't pay full price for the Blu-Ray deluxe version, though.
isrly_eder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
jennifer anniston is stupidly hot in it.
caitsith01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't be productive after 1-2 beers then you need to exercise your liver more.
I suggest a subscription to "Men's Drinking" magazine.
tomorrowistomato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is also really stupid, because unless you're drinking like four glasses of wine or doing shots, there's no way you're going to be impaired enough to even notice.
Jay_Train ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say that, but I find it much easier to mow the lawn/fix the fence/weed the garden/weed my lungs with a cold adult beverage handy.
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinks at lunch aren't exactly common, but neither are they necessarily rare in some business settings.
jayknow05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhh I can have an afternoon beer or two then go on to have a normal productive evening.
Wearenotacodfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So true for so many actions.
fromacradletoacasket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A poor alcoholic is called a drunk; a rich alcoholic is called "eccentric".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, the old shop I worked at, if we were booked dry for the day, we would clean her up spotless, work on our own cars if need be, then sit down and have a beer and talk about how life's going. Boss would still pay us the day, called it team-building.
Surprisingly, lots of mechanics are "in the zone" when working on cars, and don't really talk to each-other unless they need a hand or a tool. I usually jam out to music while I work.
kam0706 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Australian here: what do you mean 'used to'? Totally still a thing here.
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck is unproductive after a drink?
Source: Still coding after a shitload of vodka
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Martini lunches are still a thing in some industries.
thrillreefer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're clearly not writers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am way more productive doing garden way slightly drunk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had to drop that in. Can't let anyone forget we're on Reddit.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rivzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He said it's more acceptable, not that only rich people can do it. Unless your GFs dad can't work it's not really acceptable to society that he is drinking all day. A rich CEO who is drinking during a meeting is acceptable because at least they are working. Other than that I'm with ya. I'm a landscaper and cut grass everyday in sc with 95 degree heat. A cold beer is mandatory.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man there is something really unappealing about your writing style.
frankiefaithful ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 15:26:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beer is not breakfast? News to me.
brikad ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 16:23:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whattaya mean booze ain't food?!
Rem0nsterr ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:33:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather chop off my ding-dong than admit that!
JimNear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:59:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd rather chop off your ding-dong than not drink?
brikad ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:36:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow-wee!
Apex_Pred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True dedication
lelarentaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently it's not regulated by the FDA. Which is why there's no nutritional information label on the can/bottle.
Meistermalkav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.bavaria.by/bavarian-german-beer
Stand corrected, Bavaria considers beer food.
Actually, in europe, you find lots of super religious countries where during lent, beer was considered food.
swapped over in the constitution in some cases.
So yea... Thank you christians for that one.
PreyOnTheCosmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can anyone confirm that hooch isn't sustenance?
rachface636 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pour it over cornflakes. Problem solved.
PreyOnTheCosmos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the Manna of the bible that I've heard so much about? Verily, this is good.
rachface636 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The rains of Heaven.
MrMustangg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's liquid bread, case closed.
ShakeItTilItPees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey grandma, is there olives in it?
brikad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In what?
Tutmoses ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:05:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's liquid bread, its good for you!
LordBiscuits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
We like to drink till we spew!
Edit - CLICKY
MechaDesu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just have a breakfast stout
Jay_Train ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG its all my favorite stout flavors all in one. Coffee, chocolate, heavy on the malt, heavy on the oats. Know what I'm buying next. Wish it had a little milk in it, but that is a ok.
Natezami ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Get me a vodka tonic"
"Mom its breakfast"
"And a piece of toast"
crzkx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes two us.
KossuthInBezantur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, whiskey is breakfast. Beer is lunch.
poodles_and_oodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How else am I gonna get the flavor of last nights whisky out of my mouth?
feor1300 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beer and Rice Krispies, breakfast of former champions. Snap Crackle Burp!
-eDgAR- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:34:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheers!
ajanitsunami ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You, sir, have good taste! I love Bell's.
MBen7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the cereal
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breakfast of champions
dopp3lganger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Put a little OJ in it to make a man-mosa. Problem solved.
the_pressman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what they make Radlers for. They're practically a breakfast food.
poodles_and_oodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually have one more for dessert
Bear_Taco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about you, but bacon eggs and steak all go great with a redd's apple ale. Fucking delicious. Also constantly cleaning your palete.
jabberwockysuperfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a damned lie, is what it is.
simmonsg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Cash rolls in his grave
thevuvuzelanist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're called breakfast stouts for a reason right?
Trolling-along ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breakfast beers are so 1995, it's all about the driving beers now.
TheBaratheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"TIL: Beer is not breakfast. News to me "
FTFY
oxideseven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just buy some [breakfast beer].(https://blogminsterabbey.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/foundersbreakfast.jpg)
Deidra23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breakfast beer is a thing.
RosieEmily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I went to Munich I was surprised to see people drinking beer at breakfast. Then a german friend told me it was the norm to have a beer with breakfast.
CaptainPotter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do ya mean booze ain't food?
el_DOOM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever just pour a pint of Guinness over your cereal? If you pick some chocolatey cereal, it can be amazing!
goback2yourhole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A nice Guinness in the mornin, or bloody mary. Depends on my mood at that time.
th3f34r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean booze ain't food!? I'd rather chop off my ding dong than admit that!
cyncantspell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love soup. Grape soup. That's been aged. Ok, it's wine.
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you monster
ECDEU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
beereal is a real thing guys. live it and love it.
rabidassbaboon ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:56:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood the stigma. Like you said, if it's every day then that is a problem but if you've got all your stuff done, who's to say you can't crack one open at 10 AM? I did it yesterday and it was glorious.
The_Salaminizer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working the graveyard shift, I used to slam 3-4 just to get myself to sleep.
caricamento ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was extremely popular for a long time...
http://chezjim.com/18c/breakfast-18th.htm
Dart06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hardly ever drink beer/liquor. Even so, after hanging my tv on the wall, painting our bedroom and mowing the lawn I definitely enjoyed a brewski even though it wasn't noon yet. That shit hit the spot.
chrispyb ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:36:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, only socially unacceptable if you're at work, or headed to work, I feel like
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even then, if it's a white collar job, drinking might actually help out every now and then. Besides, a BYOB job would be pretty damn spiffy. I could totally stand to down a few beers with my coworkers.
chrispyb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know people who work at offices with beer on tap. I think you need to hold off until at least 3 or 4 before settling down with a beer. Or wine, which they also have there
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:06:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get in gear with a /r/showerbeer
symstealth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:13:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work nights. Every Friday a group of us would leave work, and head to a bar that was open in the morning. We would order up breakfast, along with drinks. We always got strange looks from people walking by outside. I guess they thought 9:30am was too early to be drinking.
goose4437 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This, we would get off at 6am and be drunk by 10. The looks you get in hardees getting breakfast drunk is great.
melonowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds magical.
ShimmyShimmyYes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love getting day drunk and going to bed at 8:00 PM
Todtgelichter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:04:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just visit Bavaria. There's this thing called 'Frรผhschoppen', you eat 'weiรwurst' (apparently translates to veal sausage) and drink wheat beer.
It's traditionally very early, it has to be before 12 (you don't eat weiรwurst after that), and it's completely socially acceptable.
etgohomeok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just went on a trip to Munich and the drinking culture there was amazing. It was like everyone was lightly buzzed by 4 in the afternoon but hardly anybody was rowdy drunk. Drinking beer is just a relaxing thing to do in the afternoon.
Schmalle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Frรผhschoppen doesn't only exist in Bavaria. Berliner here: Frรผhschoppen around here consists of a Bockwurst or Currywurst and Sekt (sparkling wine).
numeralCow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:07:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like a cold citrusy IPA on a nice summer morning. I get up early as shit and if I'm done with chores at 10:30 am on a Saturday then fuck it, why shouldn't I enjoy a beer?
Bucky_Goldstein ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:16:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why I love brunch, get sauced and have some delicious food and no one judges. god I wish it was Sunday again
kanst ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also allows for drunken shenanigans AND a good nights sleep.
I hate parties that start at 9 pm, going to be up super late and drink too much so tomorrow will be completely a lost cause.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
11am? What is this, amateur hour?
paulwhite959 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Society has a problem with that?
dlobnieRnaD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:03:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do not want to live in a world where I can't enjoy a good breakfast beer
shadybaby22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started drinking hard apple cider at 11 this morning!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it wasn't appropriate to drink beer all day they wouldn't have made breakfast stouts and Nooner
fuckitimatwork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wake up saturday/sunday at 7am like usual
finish cleaning apartment, doing laundry, dishes, grocery shopping by eleven
starting drinking before noon
DooDooBrownz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
u never heard of brunch?
Pistolsmoke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Day drinking is very underrated. Drink early and when it is nice out. Go to bed early and don't wake up with a hangover (usually).
Strange_john ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:41:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work shifts and there is nothing nicer than a long neck beer before bed. Bed being 09:00 a.m.
CatholicAlternate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw the beer, why not wine?
BobDylanBlues ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People who work graveyard shifts have to get their bar time or relaxing post-work beer whenever they can get it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfectly normal in the UK.
Chioborra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's also important to acknowledge the difference between having a beer or two at 11 am and like... having all the beers all day starting from 11 am. That is what I consider day drinking. I'll sit out on my porch on a nice day at around noon and have a beer. Why the fuck not?
PotatoSquad10k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Edgar.
satanic_satanist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
German here. We have beers at noon at our university cafeteria.
PickleInDaButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend and I go to a local bar every Sunday around lunch. We go in there, order some appetizers and I slam some heavy IPAs back. I actually enjoy drinking in the afternoon because I'm not tired and if it is in public, there's not a bunch of 21-25 year olds trying to getting shitfaced smashed. I love my afternoon drinking.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an ardent golfer, it doesn't shock me to have the first beer at 8:00 AM as the tournament kicks off. Last year some guys asked me to do a charity scramble with them. All I knew about it was that it was free. I showed up a bit on the late side and had to hurry to get all my stuff together. Then a little before 8:00 AM, while they were reading the rules to everyone, I grabbed a beer out of my cooler, looked at some random person standing next to me, and said "It's noon somewhere!" and popped it open, taking a nice swig.
He looked at me aghast. I thought "Hmmm, I'm going to be discrete until I know more about this tournament." Found one of my playing partners, asked him about the beer thing, and he said "Well, I'm not drinking but go ahead if you want. It's a charity for alcohol addiction, the guy who puts it on lost his 4-year-old son when some drunk plowed into their car."
I was more discrete after that. :D
redditj4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In San Francisco, this is not only socially acceptable, but it is a "thing" and not just on weekends.
Lampshade_express ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So jealous of people who can day drink :[. It just drains me, especially in the summer, when most day drinking happens. I went to a July 4th breakfast party at my gf's parents' house because the annual parade passes by their house. Everyone's having mimosas and bloody Mary's, and I'm just the person drinking coffee and OJ. Alcohol just makes me so tired
gsurfer04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nowt wrong with a pale ale at lunch.
albc92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Sometimes I enjoy having a glass of wine (or two) while I'm getting ready, cleaning, cooking etc. If I'm not going to drive i'm okay. I don't get drunk and I don't do it often, DO NOT TELL ME IT'S NOT OK!
OllyTrolly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I agree. I don't drink very often but on the occasions that I do, I just have a nice drink when I get the feeling for it (that's usually when it's warm and I'm outside having a good day). A couple of times I've been with people and ordered a cocktail before 12 and people looked at me as if I was mental. And they're usually the people that drink way more often than me :S.
project64mm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't consider enjoying a beer at 11 am daydrinking....Daydrinking would be like 6+ starting at 11am and continuously drinking throughout the day....Hence the word daydrinking
DwarfRyan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This right here, never drank early before but recently went on a train journey to see a friend about 2 hours away, had a pint at 11:15am and it was damn enjoyable
SilasX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
megacookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally had the first beer (and second, technically) in my life at lunch in the pub with my colleagues today. I dunno, somehow I feel your body can more easily process alcohol during the day rather than later at night. So really it's only being responsible to knock 'em down while the sun's up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh... 11am... Tailgate for football (American) starts at 6:30 AM and only the cook should be sober at 8:00 AM. You just have to remember it's a marathon not a sprint.
petit_cochon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Louisiana and I actually had to re-read this post, and then remember that day drinking is not habitual in the rest of the nation.
We're not a productive people, but we have a lot of fun.
dreadlord473 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. Especially on a day off, nice summer day, at home alone, browsing reddit, and listening to music/podcast. Perfect time to just crack open a nice crispy cold natty light.
throw6539 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Steel Reserve. Step your game up.
dreadlord473 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had steel reserve. Is it any good?
throw6539 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's absolute garbage, but it's also 8% ABV, so it makes for a highly effective drink.
melodyponddd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in hotels and sometimes have to pull an overnight shift. My 7 AM is everyone else's 5 PM. You're damn right I'm going to have a drink when I get home, especially if I had a bad day.
goose4437 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or 6 am
Fethur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always gets on me if I have soda before 11 AM. It's madness.
Zediac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah. There's a difference between drinking and being drunk. I drink alcohol for the taste. Liquor, not beer. I don't drink to get drunk.
stagethepoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My liver can't read the clock, so it doesn't care at all.
45MinutesOfRoadHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sundays are my favorite day drinking days.
SugarFreeCyanide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work midnights and get home from work at 7 am. Cracking open a cold beer in the morning sun was fantastic.
comicsnerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always drunk is also a regular lifestyle
JackAceHole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why Jesus invented Bloody Marys and Mimosas.
Shadax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when you need to get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of your mouth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When we go duck hunting, we start with shots of whiskey as a wake-me-up drink and then get started drinking beer. At 5 in the morning. We get drunk. Duck hunting is really fun.
Photovoltaic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing better than going out on a long run, coming back, showering, eating a small meal/watering up, then sitting outdoors with a beer (or two or three or four).
Jay_Train ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rural Kansas here - day drinking is a fucking institution here. It's the day time meth binging and crack binging that are the problems.
lead999x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Intoxication aside, that's how you get fat.
luckytoothpick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After reading the "Master and Commander" series, I began having a SMALL glass of beer or wine with breakfast. Nice way to start the day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A.M. Ale!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fLtEVc3jTU
Chinkibus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Florida there is no stigma against day drinking or as we call it "drinking"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Move to Europe.
dakej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Day drunk is different.
TheOneTrueTrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why when I wake up before noon, I'll just keep an eye on the clock and wait for it to hit 12:01 PM, because alcoholics drink in the morning, so if I wait until 12:01 PM everyday, I'm not alcoholic, right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that not socially acceptable in the US? (or wherever you're from if not the US, sorry)
In France we call it "l'apรฉritif" or l'apรฉro for short. A drink and sometime snacks before a meal. Beer/wine/pastis and some chips/crackers/peanuts
JestaKilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A Bloody Mary is a fantastic breakfast (as long as you don't have to drive anywhere). Just sayin'.
...Damn, it's been a while since I did that. Got a camping trip coming up right after my birthday; I'm gonna have to get the fixings. I know I've got celery salt and Worstechire sauce around already....
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never knew there were "rules" as to when you c a n drink an I still don't understand why they exist lol. I drink when I want.
t_Lancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Germany and enjoy our wonderful Biergarten
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funnily enough, the often adored Churchill was a meaaaaaaaaan alcoholic. Started the day with whiskey and soda, ended it with whiskey and in between whatever had alcohol.
WildTurkey81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like those weekend days where I have nothig going on and am feeling quite alright and just think "fuck it, I'm getting some wine."
Ive found that drinking alone is only oroperly fun if you only do it occassionally. Ive been through phases where I drank quite a bit and it quickly gets boring. That first time that you do some day drinking for ages is usually quite fun, but if you decide you'll do it the next day or next weekend, not so much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
1:20pm on a Monday and I'm drinking a beer while I type this.
I need to get a job.
LiquidC0ax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work graveyard shift and I would get home at 7am. The neighbors would give me the shittiest looks when they left for work, seeing me drinking a beer while watering my lawn.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I picked up a 15 pack of beers at around 10:30am yesterday, got a few looks while walking home. SUNDAY'S MY ONLY DAY OFF I'LL GET HAMMERED IF I WANT.
Zonattu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a finn: Day drinking is socially unacceptable?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I like living in Wisconsin. Drinking a beer is just seen as another drink around here. It's not like every time you have a drink it's to party or get fucked up. It's just an accepted culture here.
kontankarite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breakfast beer. If I want a SINGLE beer with my bacon and eggs at 8 am, then I'll have one. That 5 pm shit is way over-ritualized.
tperelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Day drinking is the fucking best when you're with your buddies. Or grilling.
AriaTheTransgressor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just told that so long as you don't start before 10am (assuming you have slept) then it is a non-issue. If you feel the need to start before 10am then you have a problem.
TheNintendo29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinkijg rum before 10am doesn't make you an alcoholic, it makes you a pirate.
raevnos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try working graveyard. Going out to a bar at 7 AM when you get off work is normal.
CallRespiratory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% in agreement.
Mistaken_Stranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Newfoundland my friend. Where day drinking is not only encouraged it is celebrated.
octobertwins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We used to have a friend we called "the day walker." You never even saw him at night because he'd be drunk all day and pass out by sundown.
kellbell1981 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why some people think it's unacceptable to have a beer in the morning, yet those same people will have a Bloody Mary or a Mimosa with breakfast.
kageookami64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked nights and I'd got o a bar for happy hour at 8 o clock. Then went to a market with friends and bought a shitty bottle of rum for rum and coke.
MasonFr429 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i don't like to think of it as day drinking, rather, having a drink during the day.
canucksbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine and I both work night shift; we get off work at 7 AM. He likes to tell a story where he went to a restaurant after work for "breakfast" and ordered a beer. Apparently the waitress gave him shit--"Sir! It's not acceptable to be drinking at this hour!"
Day people never understand our pain...
Kazooguru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our family vacations usually included fishing. So I would be out on the boat at 5 am, wondering why I wasn't still sleeping. Either my Dad or one of his buddies would get a beer out of the cooler around 8 am and announce that is was "noon somewhere!"
Acciovino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Move to New Orleans. It's certainly not looked down upon here, rather encouraged!
[deleted] ยท 3892 points ยท Posted at 14:34:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
geeky_username ยท 3057 points ยท Posted at 16:13:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When I drive alone I just pick my nose and fart.
My car is just an extension of my house.
Not my fault if you look in
Edit: I love how this became my all time top comment
benjaxx ยท 3836 points ยท Posted at 16:51:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people can see ur farts wtf
t-poke ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 17:58:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't see me fart, but you can see me lift my leg up, followed by a sigh of relief on my face and the windows going down.
FUCK_ASKREDDIT ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:11:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't like to soak in the smelly scent?
AitherInfinity ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:35:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soak was a great choice of word there sir.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:55:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gotbeefpudding ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:10:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i've always used the term "stew"
FUCK_ASKREDDIT ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:22:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I like to include interesting illiteration if possible
TehBlackNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda reminds me of this
LordWom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Before I clicked your link I was expecting it to be this clip https://youtu.be/-y7xrSs4xGI
angrytortilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cracking the sunroof on a cold winter day. That's a stinky car move.
_Circle_Jerker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean up.
siempreloco31 ยท 194 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean you can't? That must be embarrassing.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:32:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HA! Way to fart, no fart!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:53:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
go to the hospital right now
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would be wonderful. No longer would I be blamed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's blind, you insensitive baboon.
zeus_is_back ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:10:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://giphy.com/search/thermal-fart
lalaowai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:22:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that, best laugh I've had all day for some reason.
ACIIgoat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:23:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Green stink lines
Cerater ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poo is solid fart
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:14:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed way too hard at this
quinniewynn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. I was looking for one comment not making a joke back but just acknowledging how funny it was.
Sloi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Birthday suit + Baby powder, bro.
Baby powder.
Georgia_Ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they can though
Radvila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that might lead to business and moneys. Viewable farts.
darklinkuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people make small movements when they fart. They twitch their eye or something.
OnlyNegativeKarmaPls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sharts man
makinbacon24-7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's called poop
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
he is powerful
AmoebaProteusFhtagn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' Reddit fart-o-roo
Pernus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my anus, I'm going in!
SirensToGo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean you don't see yours?!
Foxionios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext ...?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd never imagine a comment like this getting over 1000 upvotes. Reddit.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Wear eye protection. Do not look into fart."
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The 7th Sense: "I see people farts"
gormster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck did this make me laugh so hard what the hell
jinxjar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like ocean spray, butt brown.
thelastlancelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They eat a lot of carrots...
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's just driving around town in a dirty fish bowl that motherfucker
TheNotoriousReposter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the facial expression, man
NotInvitedGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They can smell you come too
underwriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
chipotle does that
803Tiger72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He huffs a lot of paint
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fart!?
Abstker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you see, Officer, I farted BEFORE you got to my window.
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He has a bad case of the protein farts
bigbadbouncer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called a shart
akohlsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's green and stinks? The Hulk's farts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if the invisible man's farts are visible and his shits invisible.
Imagine stepping in said invisible shit, slipping on it smearing it all over the back of your shirt, and wondering why you smell shit for the rest of the day.
Oh, invisible man, you prankster you.
nadarko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that would be silly. We just have a pre-fart division.
BAD10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I came up with a movie idea based on this when we were kids. We called it Technicolor Toots.
We're looking for backers...
Feeds_On_Anger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They can see his children clawing the windows.
FallenXxRaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The brown streak coming out of his shorts gave it away.
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I had money for gold. That one got me.
Paid_Internet_Troll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't you ever seen a cartoon? It's like a green cloud.
You just need the special glasses and you can see them like everyone else does.
MrRotch61 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:32:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean people can't see yours? Weirdo
Cheeseologist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:59:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By "fart," /u/geeky_username means shitting all over himself/herself.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are we slowly transforming into tumblr?
benjaxx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:08:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
who the fuck do u think u are m8
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:18:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
frist off all how DARE yo u
spiritriser ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:26:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bold letters trigger me
Xiagax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOUD NOISES
FuckbagMcTittynipple ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:12:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I saw a guy on my commute home on Friday...I swear he must have lost his finger up there...didn't have tinted windows...was at a stoplight with everyone looking at him.
...He was probably farting too. I couldn't see that though.
megamaxie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't looking hard enough, try again.
sesquiup ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If he farts enough, he can have tinted windows.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:52:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you were the guy next to me on my commute to work.
RoachPowder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It wasn't a pick!"
LaughsAtOwnJoke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a geeky username.
AManAPlanInPakistan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the only time I see people picking their noses. Even the sexiest people in the nicest cars are diggin' for proverbial gold on the highway.
Was_going_2_say_that ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I drive a large truck so its really hard to see in unless you are really trying to peek in, like some kind of weirdo. I got stuck in traffic for over 25 mins not to long ago so I started doing the same thing I would do at home if I had 25 mins to kill... You can probably guess what I did. Nobody around me could see me but I could see all of them. It was kind of thrilling but my passenger was mortified
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I do? I get into peoples blind spots and dig away.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen
yamsyams123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is your stance on car masturbation?
geeky_username ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thought about it.
Seems dangerous, also legally dubious
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't pick my nose when I drive. Cars have windows. I do it when no one is around though.
geeky_username ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:36:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man up.
My house has windows too.
If someone wants to look in and see my pale ass and tiny dick, that's their problem
shesallover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more of a toilet nose picker, TBH. There's tissue right there and I've got my own private little stall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but then you're clearing out your nostrils and getting an extra good sniff of the duece you just dropped.
No thanks, I'll wait until later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half the reason all my rear windows are limo tinted is so that the angle from which you can see me picking me nose is reduced to basically the same angle at which I can see you.
The other half of the reason is to maximize the time which I can spend singing in the car without anyone being able to see me.
I don't know why normal people get their windows tinted, but nose picking and singing was top of my list.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah, shit. I just submitted this same thing without reading the comments.
DancingNancy4136 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever owns my car after me is going to inherit a lot of second-hand boogers
caitlinisgreatlin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't pick your nose in the car, you're a liar.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get realllllllllllllllly bad amounts of snot up my nose, but because my nose is so dry all the time and I have breathing issues it dries up and I cant blow it out. .
The only way to get it out is to pick it out, absolutely nothing wrong with it
As long as you don't eat it obviously
xXAlphaWhiskeyXx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tinted windows are like perfect for an awkward introvert. No one can look at me and I can stare at everyone else.
the_toaster_lied ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:42 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what I want to tell the women who give me weird looks when they see me masturbating on the way home.
swareonmemum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where tf do you put those bogies then?
megamaxie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:22:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all protein brother.
Neil_Anblomi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've learned that in Germany, your car is considered to be private property. So you can actually drive around naked. It is however not allowed to step in/out of your car naked...
SkinnySlimJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... Where do you put the boogers?
seiferfury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.. Not on the seat! Farts have bits of poo liquid in it that sticks to clothes and foam and stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an office chair. Cheap wal-mart thing.
After about five years of farting in it I finally had to throw it away. Every time I sat down and compressed what was left of the foam, it would shoot fart smells out into the air.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
same with picking the o' teefers. Sorry it's 5pm and I haven't gotten to brush since this morning when I left home and now I have stuff on my teeth, imma scrape it off right quick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had this theory with having sex with my girlfriend in a parking lot. Long story short, your car is not your house.
oshaCaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honk at people when I catch them knuckle deep in their noggin.
Just saying.
Not an obnoxious honk, just a blip and I make eye contact and wink.
CharmingDarkness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I presume you drink and drive?
geeky_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't drink at all
bquietpirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where them boogs go homie?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy the grossed out looks from the college aged girls. It just adds a show that I would normally have to pay a low class prostitute for.
Hubley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish farting was acceptable everywhere. Sure it may not be the most pleasant thing to smell but it has to be done. Holding a fart in sucks. And let's be honest, they're hilarious
ImYourMutineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shades of haiku...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lock the windows when I fart to torture my passengers.
Tw9caboose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The law considers your car an extension of your house too.
RedCat1529 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because your house is two feet from someone else's house and has these huge sheets of glass that make it impossible to miss anything going on in the house.
geeky_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see why other people are always looking into other people's cars.
Focus on driving
Hanshee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you do with your boogers in the car tho?
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"extension of house".
love it. great expression.
Triptolemu5 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:14:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It amazes me how many people believe this nonsense.
I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its yours, can hold you, has AC, needs regular maintenance, and you can sleep in it. How is this not an extension of your home?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In many ways, it's actually better than my home. For starters, it has A/C.
Triptolemu5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you own or rent the land under your car everywhere it goes? No? Then you're not on private property, you're on public property. The road is a public place, and the law clearly reflects this. The road isn't yours alone. Your rights end where mine begin.
Do you need a license to live in a house?
Lightning_McCheese ยท 918 points ยท Posted at 15:00:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad that someone was brave enough to post the real answer. As long as you aren't the kid in elementary school who permanently has his finger two knuckles up his nose, who the hell cares?
JamJarre ยท 1855 points ยท Posted at 15:20:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nothing quite matches the feeling of pulling out one that's unexpectedly connected to your brain stem
Hells yeah
Just, you know, put that shit in a tissue afterwards
Edit: this is now my highest rated post. I hope you're proud, Ma!
jyhwkwrth34 ยท 780 points ยท Posted at 15:47:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you're saying you don't eat them?
NeckerInk ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:10:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating them is just what you do when you sniff, just in the other direction.
King-Jimmy ยท 941 points ยท Posted at 16:36:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do and fuck anyone that thinks it's gross. They're mine and I'll eat them if I want!
Valkyrie21 ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 17:25:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey it may help out your immune system...probably.
King-Jimmy ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 17:33:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I should be fucking unstoppable by now
Valkyrie21 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Until the T-virus comes around.
King-Jimmy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
T-virus?
Luxtoleo ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:46:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure that's the virus from Resident Evil that turns people into zombies
Valkyrie21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.
King-Jimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What T-virus stop scaring me
craigmontHunter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm - I haven't been sick in 10 years.
CombatBanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Notice that you generally get the cold/flu virus less often than those around you? IIRC the article he is referring too said that eating your bogers helps build your immune system to the bacteria that are often present in your nose.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that true? Because I have noticed that I get colds and flu waaaay less than anyone around me. Only sick days I've ever taken was when I was hungover.
CombatBanana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:18:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it isn't exactly a well studied topic in regards to eating bookers but it is what the doctor in the article proposed. It makes sense when you think about it as our immune system is very reactive in terms of what it is prepared for and actively producing anti bodies*.
*Not a doctor don't hate me for it
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a better answer than I expected. Don't feel so gross now.
Lumion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:09:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's about easy disposal.
PuffinGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure the snot is more or less a result of your immune system doing work
Valkyrie21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The idea is that reintroducing old pathogens present in your snot through ingestion may help boost your immune system. I don't believe that there is any conclusive evidence regarding this though so who knows if it's true.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all the same in that regard.
cefriano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I did read that it helps keep you from getting ulcers, since it adds mucus to your stomach lining. Though I'd imagine there are other things that would contribute more to this. Like swallowing your snot when you have a runny/stuffy nose instead of spitting it out.
hitlerosexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well in the past 6 years I've only gotten sick to the point of throwing up once, and I eat em. Well, at least I've only gotten sick to the point of throwing up because of an illness once. Alcohol induced vomit doesn't count in this study.
InfamousBLT ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:33:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My nose worked hard to make them, I'm not going to waste them!
IAmTheShitRedditSays ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 19:18:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all fun and games until you go in for a kiss once, and there's one on your teeth that you missed and it ends up in their mouth. Then you have to burn your house for the insurance money so you can afford to move overseas where you become a hitman. You get really good, and make a name for yourself. Then Nicolas Cage approaches you to learn about his upcoming role in Bangkok Dangerous 2, but he doesn't just have questions ready, so he insists on having a long conversation over dinner. But he's still not finished talking when you're ready to leave, so he follows you home. You just want the media attention to go away so you invite him inside, and he ends up staying the night. You make love Nic Cage style which is mind-blowing, but he's still there in the morning which is awkward since you have a contract today. He tries to follow so you give him the slip. While you've got your target in your sights he corners you and accuses you of cheating on him. While you two bicker, your target gets away. So you have to flee the country, since the organization you worked for is after you. You two retire early to live out a peaceful life on a farm in Minnesota when the hitman finally tracks you down. You die in his arms while he screams "WHY? WHY? WHY?" for an average three minutes and twelve seconds per syllable and generally overreacts, in your opinion. Being a huge story for a small town, the news tracks down anyone who might know you. They eventually find someone and the next day the headline reads: "Booger eater killed in hit." You'll never live it down.
Don't eat your boogers.
BallsOfLego ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have already got Nic on this. Call me.
King-Jimmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:28:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I get to shack up with Nic Cage. You aren't doing a lot to sway me away from eating my nose goo. Even if your version of the story ends up with me being dead. Still shagged Nicholas Cage.
King-Jimmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, good read. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. 10/10. Did read again
tdt0005 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:59:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know if you're kidding, but I too have never understood why it is considered gross. It's dried mucus. Snot is in your mouth all the time. It's free and it tastes good. Who gives a fuck? Just don't do it in front of people.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:58:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And poop is just food that's been processed. You people disgust me!
Maven_Red_Buyer ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:52:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poop isn't in your mouth all the time. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
Kenny__Loggins ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boogers aren't in my mouth all the time either
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:37:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Kenny__Loggins ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but mucus != boogers
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are, just in liquid form.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not boogers. All you bastards trying to convince me to love eating boogers are fucked in the head and have underestimated my stubbornness!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to convince you to love eating boogers, I'm just trying to tell you you're already doing it.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In all seriousness, there is a drastic difference between mucus in your throat and eating boogers. Just like there is a difference between spit and that horrid dried spit that collects at the sides of your mouth. Or the difference between your mom and a really dried out version of your mom.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People getting caught. They're the real sinners
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your nose filters the air you breathe. I'd imagine the residue isn't exactly the hygienic.
tdt0005 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:38:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard tales of people who breathe from their mouth also.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:41:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
true i guess
Shitmybad ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:01:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mucus isn't the same as saliva, and it isn't in your mouth...
RangeRoverHSE ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:33:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever had a cold? That shit gets in your mouth all the damn time.
tdt0005 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha are you kidding me? Do you even sniff bro?
DPStrogen95 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:46:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That disgusts me, but I'll applaud your honesty.
King-Jimmy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:33:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone had to stand up and say it.
latentspark ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:12:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All these upvotes... I thought I was alone in the world.
aestheticpisces ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:58:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so you eat them, and then fuck anyone who thinks it's gross? You're hardcore. Do those who don't think it's gross get to watch?
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No those people don't get to join in our slimey green fun.
afleischer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:53:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck me. Picking your nose = not an issue. Eating what you've picked out = completely and unequivocally fucking disgusting.
FrisianDude ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:20:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's gross. You're gross.
King-Jimmy ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 17:33:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're gross
Rolobox ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:37:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit
Dr_Bombinator ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:47:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just got fucking told
JamJarre ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:54:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[ ] Not told
[ ] Told
[X] Knights of the Told Republic
FrisianDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I am, but at least I don't eat boogers
edit; wut. How come this is an answer to Rolobox' oh shit? I thought I was replying to King-Jimmy's "you're gross".
ElectroBoof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares, so many people do
FrisianDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they're gross
ElectroBoof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're gross
FrisianDude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am, but at least I don't eat boogers
ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ
ice_cream_sandwiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm wretching.
Barsam37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fight the power!
Picnicpanther ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OVER THE LINE, SMOKEY.
truthlife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My hero! I've been eating my boogers for as long as I can remember and I'll never stop.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finally a fellow eater. Solidarity brother.
--LAZER-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gross
kenman884 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus that's how your body trains its immune system.
Shrimpton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like cum right? We'll eat it with fries if we want!
King-Jimmy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:33:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, don't like salty chips
wardamn95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I...gross man
TedTheViking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gag
LurkerOrHydralisk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the whole point is to get them away from your sinuses. If you put them in your mouth that's like swallowing the loogey you snorted from your sinuses to your mouth. Pointless
King-Jimmy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:25:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes that's nice too.
JamJarre ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:53:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy knows what's up.
Probably why he's a King
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it is impolite to spit.
explodyhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is some research that may point to picking your nose and eating your boogers being incredibly beneficial to your immune system.
CupcakeGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya.Where does most mucus go anyways?
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In mah belly
turdzip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do you also eat your own semen? (Assuming you're a guy)
King-Jimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No but I'll eat yours
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Its just recycling protein.
King-Jimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's good for you and makes your skin look softer" - every male scientist ever
ghostpoopftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I have just as much right to personally think it's gross as you do to do it. As long as I don't let my opinion of it negatively affect you, I don't see why you automatically say fuck me..
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You took this way too seriously.
Zakgeki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do they think most of your snot goes anyways?
King-Jimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably on the coat of whoever's in front of me on the bus.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
King-Jimmy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:32:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No man that's gross
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
King-Jimmy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:39:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Snots aren't gonna kill me. Poo. Poo will kill me if I eat it.
Pandanym ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you man
King-Jimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love you too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
very different.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now thats just wrong.
King-Jimmy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:35:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's always been something I've done. Never thought about it until now. It's only wrong because it isn't socially acceptable. Despite the fact way more people do it and deny it. If everyone ate their snots it wouldn't be wrong. It would just be another thing that humans do.
JamJarre ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:49:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to find them too tart for my delicate palate. Plus how else am I going to craft my snot candles if I'm eating all my raw material?
Dujave ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't imagine your snot candles burn very efficiently. Have you considered earwax candles instead?
JamJarre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the patent for those already belongs to a Father Crilly of Craggy Island. It's just such a crowded marketplace these days.
Maybe I should set up a "send your enemies boogers" thing, like that glitter guy
draconicanimagus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heathens
alloftheinternet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who doesn't? I only use a tissue if I realllllly am trying hard to not to be judged
kjata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to use the corpses of pathogens inside them as training dummies for my immune system. Or let the horrifically acidic environment inside my stomach destroy it. I'm not totally clear on which happens first.
rmoss20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They boost your immune system.
cynthash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
KRISTOFF, GET OUT OF MY MOVIE YOU DON'T BRING THAT DISGUSTING FLEA-BITTEN ASS ANYWHERE NEAR MY STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
thelastNerm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:16:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just put them under the seat.
S0ny666 ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 15:38:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go moralizing again. I'll put them wherever I want, thank you. Usually I'll put them between my index finger and thumb and gently flick them towards a corner. If they for some reason doesn't make it so far, I'm always wearing socks.
JamJarre ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:44:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the floor's problem now!
sellyberry ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:43:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows they disappear after being flicked anyways. It's science.
Jay_Train ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:40:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, no, the answer you're looking for is "I put them on the wall next to the toilet to add to the collection. Or I call the dog over and "scratch his back."
PRMan99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:50:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We found the guy that flicks them onto the stall wall. Get him!
Biggestnacho ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:21:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's nasty...
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:23:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're nasty for judging!
Alpine_Pineappler ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:48:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't see where it lands you can flick it anywhere and it doesn't count.
alain471 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:29:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The feeling of the airways flowing with no obstruction. Pure bliss
Heymancheckmyfresh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or just roll it into a little ball and flick it into the corner
icallshenannigans ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:41:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That 'schlukking' sound as it briefly disengages your eyeball from its natural position.
yarnwhore ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:04:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever since I got my nose pieced, it's been a whole new world of booger sensations.
JamJarre ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:51:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do tell
bear__attack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was the weirdest thing about having mine pierced too! Crazy boogerage gets caught in that little metal twisty thing.
Flonaldo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i flick them away, mine are usualy hard and i have to scrape them off the skin inside my nose. Good feeling, good feeling.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I stick my hand out the window and let the wind blow it away.
Now that I write that and think about it, it sounds really gross.
JamJarre ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:56:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some ways, it's beautiful.
Go now. You're free. Fly, fly away.
Bigjuicyhog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean roll them into a ball and flick them into the corner?
JakenShakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are the best.
Treeribs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating boogers boosts the immune system
DownhillYardSale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOOOOOOOL
That or flick it accidentally against some building plaster.
whistles and continues to walk
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah that feels good
TheTynosaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean you don't just flick them onto the carpet in your car?
Nekthyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this at 7:30 am, I just woke up the whole house
badguy28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just rub them on whoever I'm with's shirt/couch/car.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one else likes rolling them into a ball between the thumb and the index finger? Now you've got me thinking I might be weird.
The_Gray_Train ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are the best. I had one so long, I could feel it sliding up out of my throat, sumbitch was over a foot long. It was glorious.
DingoManDingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:48 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tissue? That's what carpet's for
needarb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:43 on July 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So popular someone stole it!
CodeJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's two sides.
Sure pick your nose, but don't do it around me, we have to touch the same things. I don't want your snot germs on my hands.
scootstah ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:26:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a princess.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
scootstah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't even know. If I just took a piss and didn't wash my hand and we shook hands, you'd have no way of knowing. It wouldn't affect you in the slightest. Why waste precious fucks on something so insignificant?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
scootstah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
AlexiaRose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bf was probably that kid..he still is, just not in elementary school anymore.
Fermats_Last_Account ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's disgusting to do in public, that's what. And then you use your hand to touch handles, doors, etc.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SO BRAVE
ScubaSteve1219 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's not brave to post that answer. it's a common thing, don't make it more than that by saying it's brave.
DonaldBlake ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:13:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the issue with picking your nose is that unless you are within arms reach of a sink, you are rubbing your germs all over your fingers and then interacting with the world. It is the same as if you spit on your hands and then go about your business. I don't think anyone thinks people don't pick their nose, but it should be done in a location where cleaning up with soap and water is the very next step you take. usually that means you are in the bathroom, which is a private place. That same goes for flatulence. Everyone does it, but doing it in public is rude because the odor is unpleasant. This is why it is considered bad manners, not because it is something that only disgusting people do, but because doing it in public is selfishly inflicting something unpleasant on those around you, just like picking your nose exposes them to your private petri dish of bacteria without regard to their well being or comfort.
Noumenon72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's very public spirited of you, but my issue is the opposite, selfish reason. My nose is an open conduit into my body. I'm not sticking my fingers in there and introducing every germ I've picked up from everything I've touched directly into my mucus membrane! I don't even rub my eyes with my fingers.
This is more compelling to me than the germs I leave, because: 1. I'm already immune to all of those, 2. As long as people who touch them are smart enough to avoid touching their face, they're not too harmful.
DonaldBlake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you on that, I was just saying why there is good reason to stigmatize public nose picking. The first thing I do when I walk in the door from outside is wash my hands because the world is so gross.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I love doing it in the shower. Just clear everything out of both nostrils and they go right down the drain. Spend the day with nice clean nasal passages that don't make me want to hide behind a book to get something out of them.
Thegamer211 ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 15:38:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are two types of people in this world:
People who pick their nose, and liars.
ElGuru ยท 355 points ยท Posted at 15:53:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Liars don't pick their noses?
Prince_Camo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:24:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be better said: "People who admit they pick their noses and liars."?
ElGuru ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I'm saying.
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think Pinocchio's nostrils extend as far as his lengthy member? I bet there's some pretty rad bogeys growin in there.
Silent_Sky ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:25:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what they tell us.
Buck1286 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
According to them they don't.
HogwartsNeedsWifi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yup. Us liars don't pick our noses. Especially those of us who don't bathe.
Eric_Lord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nosepickers always tell the truth.
shamelessnameless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lie which makes you a liar!
AchillesHighHeel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is how they vent their frustration.
chook79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They say they do.
seananigans_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the most foolproof tell of a liar!
futureEmployee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's stealing a Louie C.K. joke.
gullale ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:13:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Call the cops!
CatholicAlternate ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:32:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I know people who use Q-tips to pick their nose.
brit_mrdiddles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me.....
LEARN_ME_STUFF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! I don't pick my nose! I am a huge liar though, so I guess you're not wrong.
Dotrue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never pick my nose. Snot rocket that shit!
baconnmeggs ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:31:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honest to god, I don't pick my nose. Not for any particular reason, either. I remember doing it as a child, but I don't know when I stopped. Should I start again?
JamJarre ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:58:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it depends how old you are. It might be a little late in the game to try and pick it up, but hell you can only try! People start learning other languages, how to play instruments, all kinds in their later years.
I mean, you'll probably never be pro, but then it's always been about the amateur picking game anyway. That's where the real heart of it is.
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 32...is all hope lost?
JamJarre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never say never man. Yesterday you said tomorrow.
Don't let your dreams be dreams
Noumenon72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ask your friend to do it for you, just so you can relearn good technique.
290077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't. It's a wonderful way to get nosebleeds
pmf1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly can't even comprehend this! What if you feel something all crusty up your nostril? I mean... sometimes there's just stuff that you CAN'T blow out... and it NEEDS to get out!
baconnmeggs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think maybe I'm just not a very booger-y person!
KeyserSoze4 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:31:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm typing with one hand and picking my nose with the other.
thatonedude0823 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:13:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny, I was scrolling and saw this comment while picking my nose with the other.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was picking my nose while picking my nose.
MazzMan1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:15:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to admit that I also do it. BUT!! only if I know that I am by myself (at home or in the bathroom). I think it's just really disgusting if someone does it in public. Use a napkin ffs.
HarryBlarr ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:39:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if you eat what you pick? :(
MatticusjK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:32:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no one can tell you what to do
issiautng ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:09:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you think sniffing goes? Your sinuses drain down your throat anyway.
aggron306 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:47:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where else are you supposed to put it
KnockKnockKGB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not weird if no one sees you do it ;)
aubreysux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
T-Rexes
Darklyte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just hygiene, really.
BananaPuddings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mostly do it in the shower
Sexualrelations ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What else am I supposed to do on my drive home from work every day?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your ass. Who doesnt do it?
woeful_haichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose. But you shouldn't pick your friend's nose."
solisu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhhh
jericho2507 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love getting that big crusty fcking shit out of my nose. Its nearly oddlysatisfying. And btw, just with blowing, your nose is not getting nearly as clean as by picking.
mudbutt20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose is fine. Sometimes blowing just doesn't do it. However, if you don't wash your hands after doing it then I have a problem with it.
CrawDaddi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Picking your nose does not define you. What you do with it does." -I dunno
HoMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If that's ok then what about picking your ass? Or any other part of your body?
amsplur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this. I just can't think of a better way to get those boogers out other than my finger. I dispose of it properly and wash my hands after digging for gold.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a compulsive picker, I chose a stressful profession and I'm just about to move into the real world so it's kind of intensified. I had a job interview last December. Got all gussied up, put on my best face, did the polite courteous professional thing all day, never once raised a finger to my nostrils. I got back to the hotel room and realized it'd been a minute so I took the plunge and pulled out a most bountiful harvest. Like coma boogers. I could feel it slide off the back of my eyeballs. uuunnnngghhhh. All around very good day. Got the job, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone's got boogs so just dig in and be done with it, I say
KungFu_DOOM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either you pick your nose while driving and flick it out the window, or you're a liar.
tehsushichef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I my father has commented with shockingly harsh contempt at people doing this... HE CLEANS HIS EARS WITH PEN CAPS, FOR SHITS' SAKE
Tattered_Colours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first one I'm not down with. I can guarantee you that if I see you picking your nose, I absolutely will not touch anything I see you touch or take anything you try to hand me.
17Hongo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So fucking satisfying. Especially when you get a gigantic one that goes way up into your sinus.
Have_a_drink_or_20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the third askreddit post I've seen since yesterday where "picking your nose" is a very acceptable answer.
JusticeBeaver13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose.
Onateabreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The real problem is when people flick their nose gold any/everywhere.
SomalianRoadBuilder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's by far the most efficient way to clear your nostrils!
fresnik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember: You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends' nose.
Steve_Janowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You show me someone who says they don't pick their nose and I'll show you a liar
Nik_Tesla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're not wiping on me, my stuff, or something I might touch, go ahead and dig that sucker out. It's really satisfying to get a big one, like picking a scab but without the bleeding.
itsthumper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are just so blatant about it though. My cousin would sit there with anybody and stick his index finger up his nose and dig for a good 20 secs.
TrueTurtleKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's perfectly normal as long as it isn't at a place like a restaurant or I'm sitting right next to you on a bus.
cup-o-farts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok but where do you wipe it...answer...everywhere.
probablyhrenrai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's quite effective, although I do it with a kleenex so as not to get snot on the rooting digit.
marcm6246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with people picking their nose, it's when they fondle the booger for minutes on end between their fingers and then flick it across the room. I can't be in the same room as anyone who does that. I just feel ill.
ILikeMapleSyrup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay to pick your nose, just don't do it in front of people
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me, it's gross.
EggheadDash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you just need to pull that shit out. Just go wash your hands when you get it.
603g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My gf gets pissed when I pick my nose, but one of these days I am going to pick a winner, and that will show her.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a scratch!
someonewhoisnoone87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about eating it though?
pechuelloeschea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you do you
gimme_the_light ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I bet that if I knew how often people pick their noses when nobody is around/looking, I would never shake hands or high five anybody.
ferahawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it just needs a good pickin' . More power to you, I say.
Altair05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a big deal as long as you wash your hands afterwards.
amedeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing it when I read your comment.
That said, it's the most disgusting thing on the planet Earth when anybody else does it, and I will not stand for their atrocious habits.
PonkyBreaksYourPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sooner or later it's gotta be done
cuttlefish32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I don't pick your nose.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
picking your nose is masturbating your face.
StopMakingScents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Move to Asia and you'll change your mind. I always thought I was okay with picking your nose, but then I moved to a country where it IS socially acceptable and it's actually quite disgusting to see people knuckle deep in their nose while you're sitting beside them on the train.
Paparatzi911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to clean out my nose everyday during my shower. It's my one opportunity during the day to really do some digging. But even with that, I still find the need to do some nostril matinence during the rest of the day.
Jellooooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do that in the shower.
RICFLAIRSBALLS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do then eat it to make people sick
myusernameranoutofsp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're going to do it then do it in the washroom in a sanitary way and wash your hands. Everyone also uses the washroom but they don't do it in public and they wash their hands after.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
According to Frozen, all men do it.
The really hard question to answer truthfully is how many eat it?
TheMatMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't eat it and I don't care
ThatAwesomePenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the shower every morning, get it all out and I'm good for the day. Shit's great.
quooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pick and eat. Get on my level.
NegroNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hug me.... my thing has always been "it's not like I'm picking someone else's nose"...I mean you wipe your ass daily and that's okay..truly it's okay to stick my finger in my nose from time to time. And plus it's so satisfying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only do it using a tissue or TP.
timf3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why should I have to go find a bathroom to hide in when all I wanna do is to be able to breathe? Yeah, blowing the nose just doesn't get the job done, either. -Sigh-
daSilvaSurfa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:18:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, not picking your nose seems a lot more disgusting to me. There's no way you can blow all that shit out.
BabyFark93 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are two types of people in this world. Those who pick their nose and liars.
Hot_Zee ยท 980 points ยท Posted at 15:18:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NOT being married....I tried it, it wasn't for me, and NO I'm not 'lonely'...I love being single, plus I have a great daughter out of the deal.
aredditgroupthinker ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:35:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes people were appalled when I wasn't married at 30. They were more shocked to find out that I didn't have kids. When they asked why I didn't have kids I explained that I wasn't married.
MereGirl ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:53:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I'm seeing that if you're a female, never married, no kids and over 33, men start to wonder what's wrong with YOU. Couldn't be the fact that I know how to use my birthcontrol pills and that I just haven't met the right person yet. Nah, something is wrong with ME.
aredditgroupthinker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:00:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy, but I've even had people ask if I'm capable of having kids. Most people these days Enti think it's normal to have unprotected sex and have unwanted kids with someone you aren't even with. So weird to me.
Alexaxas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been hearing similar lately, as a guy. Ladies seem ok with the fact that I don't have any kids but 30 and never married? Apparently it means I'm simply not "marriage material."
MereGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's insane to me. I find it refreshing to meet a guy who has never married and no children.
cyberphonic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got married when I was 28, but I felt really young to be doing something like that. It's odd that people would think it's weird not to marry in your 20s.
DireBoar ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:36:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marriage in general. Maybe not totally what you meant, I mean, my girlfriend and I have been together for over eight years now, but despite some mild pressure from the Muslim side of her family we never felt the need to validate our love through an external agent.
gullale ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:47:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to put another perspective out there, my wife and I didn't marry to "validate our love through an external agent" at all.
It was more of an occasion to bring our friends and family together (very few, just over 30 people) and celebrate our life together. We'd been living together for 4 years, dating for 8 (almost 12 now), and it was pretty cool to have our union legally recognized and call ourselves husband and wife in front of the people we love. Our love for each other was never in question or in seek of validation. And the legal aspect of it turns out to be pretty convenient when you least expect it (like when you arrive at a country and have to go through immigration, some countries won't let couples go together if they're not married).
ocon60 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:57:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell?
exonwarrior ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:30:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they mean "get processed together by immigration" - so you go to separate booths to get your passport checked etc.
If that is the case, I'm pretty sure it happens. My ex-fiancee and I had to go through immigration separately when we came to the US because I'm American and she's Swiss. If we were married that wouldn't be the case.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Need some kind of proof.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:20:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me that is what a wedding is about. It is one of the only times in life you can declare your love for your SO without people being disgusted by your happiness.
DireBoar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that, and we've been contemplating doing something like this, throwing a celebration. It sounds nice!
Slyj0ker ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh....ok then.
gullale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You think we shouldn't enjoy those things just because we weren't seeking validation?
Valiade ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:43:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Might want to look into this
Even if here are no papers signed, in some states, you're married.
HighClass_WhiteTrash ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:26:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get the same crap being married. I'm always being told how stupid it is to be married at my age (I'm 24, married at 19). Its amazing that so many strangers know how my whole life will end up lol
Steffinily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same! I got married at 21. And I'm 22 now. So we haven't been together long yet. But we got married fast too. It's no one's business but ours.
-izac- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit I'm 21 and I still can't wrap my mind behind the whole marriage thing. I still feel like a 18 year old who just graduated high school.
Steffinily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Believe me, I still sit down sometimes and think "holy shit I'm married". I sometimes forget there is a legal document keeping us together, because it just feels so natural to be with him. It's hard to explain.
HighClass_WhiteTrash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We didn't even get married fast. Just young
Steffinily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just saying we got married fast too so people talk shit about that.
FionaTheHuman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:15:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish more people understood this. You don't have to get married. A relationship doesn't have to result in marriage. Especially if you've done it a couple times already. Just stop.
lostwithoutyou87 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:51:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got married young and divorced quickly. I ended up engaged a while later and that relationship ended. I'm over a year and a half removed from that now and I have to say I don't think marriage is for me. I'm currently dating a polyamorous guy and I have to say knowing that he will never want to move in with me is one of the best parts of the entire thing. Traditional relationships aren't for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:32:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no choice but to remain single.
eyythrowmao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
MillionSuns ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 19:38:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's so ugly he could be a modern art masterpiece.
Deathfrompopcorn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:20:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/delusionalartists would enjoy your company
posts_while_naked ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He might also be a disgusting fatbody with an ass that looks like 150 pounds of chewed bubblegum.
might_be_myself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the best ones always come from those on the receiving end.
mikredditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But can he suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
Dan_Ashcroft ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:54:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your anger sounds like it comes from loneliness. Have you tried getting married?
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 21:02:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you dumb? He specifically stated that he has already tried it.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:24:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't feed the trolls.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. People (usally older) will ask me when are you going to get a gf, and when I had one it was when are you going to get married.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know you posted this 15 hours ago, but I just wanted you to know that your happiness about your daughter made me smile after a hard day. :)
HappyPlace003 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:31:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness this! My partner and I's family won't stop trying to pressure us to be married, when in reality we probably won't. Marriage is not the reason we're together, the partnership is.
justsomedude322 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:30:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was a waste that long term couples just don't get married, not for any moral reason just because of the tax benefits and family visitation rights you gain if something happens. Hell my parents just got married after being together for 13 years although despite me being 24 my Stepdad still needs to adopt me in order for us to have visitation rights in case one of us gets sick.
HappyPlace003 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:34:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Might have a slight benefit, but we just don't care and don't agree with the governments involvement in marriage as a whole.
justsomedude322 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, well ok then.
attrox_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:33:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Google up marriage penalty. The tax benefit is a myth that keep getting thrown around. I just got married and my tax bracket goes up due to our combine income.
justsomedude322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, never mind then.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot more legal benefits too. Here in Australia we have law protecting defactos as well but I bet it never occurs to people they have to prove they are defactos.
Nothing better than discussing your sexual habbits with a judge...
In reality marriage and divorce are a means to protect property rights. The tradition is beautiful but the protection of legal rights should not be downplayed. People should be grateful, I don't understand the logic of those who "dont want government involved".
I would rather have a referee than a free for all when it comes to relationship break down. Especially a long term relationship with children and property.
thenfour ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 18:22:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HappyPlace003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, mine and his families*
Steffinily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I feel about having kids. They're not for me. I don't want them, and I get a lot of shit for it. Yes, my husband, myself, and our cats are still a family. No, we won't regret it.
thewhitewooki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell you how many times I've had someone look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'm single and not looking to date a girl right now. I guess being a 20-something year old guy in the Christian community is not ok and I'm offending Jesus if I don't get married before 25.
c00kies44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go in stages. There were a few years in my late teens and early 20s that I didn't care about being single (and enjoyed being alone), but the last couple years (and now) I feel quite lonely.
Do you ever go in stages like this?
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SO and I have been together for five years.
When we first got together, I really, really wanted to get married - having that whole 'Princess For A Day' white wedding thing was all I thought about. He proposed to me after we'd been together for two years, and I of course accepted. I spent the next year or so obsessing over wedding plans, but one day my whole perspective on things changed.
I realised that it would simply be a waste of money having a massive wedding, and that I would prefer to do something more lasting with the money, like buying a house.
My views on the whole wedding/marriage thing have completely changed in the three years following that, as well. I have become more immersed in the world of Feminism, and... yeah...
I no longer feel the need to get married, to feel that we've "validated" our love and commitment towards one another. We know how much we mean to one another, otherwise we wouldn't still be together.
WhompWump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cucked
Deathfrompopcorn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey sweet! free daughter! do they give those things out for free or you gotta do the whole divorce thing?
snakesandstuff ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:48:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you end up with a great daughter, or a great daughter plus some child support payments?
5thMarines ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure your individualism is so great for you daughter. Great job. Everybody knows that disconnected parents and weak parental roles truly are the best situation for kids.
kenny4351 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 18:51:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Ebriate ยท 420 points ยท Posted at 18:19:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watching children play at the park, especially as a man. I am a father who's son has grown up. I really enjoy watching kids play, giggling carefree and using their imaginations and reminiscing how happy I was at that age.
Stopping by a park on a nice day alone and ping this gets you all the pedophile looks and makes you feel horrible.
What ever happened to being able to enjoy the park as a man alone for God's sake?
Reddeadgamer ยท 264 points ยท Posted at 19:13:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We need fucking adults parks for adults only. I miss playing at the park and going on the swings and shit. Now i cant do it unless i go at night .
DasBarenJager ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:47:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then everything is too small. I want a grown up sized slide and a grown up sized jungle gym. And a ball pit that doesn't have used needles and diapers at the bottom!
33a5t ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:49:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MechaRiddick ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:24:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With all do respect, no drug user who shoots up in the ball pit is gonna leave their needle there. They need that shit to hit again at the next McDonald's!
Arnatopia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:33:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those damned kids and their needles.
149082304123 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:21:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, playing grounders as an adult is awesome. So much stuff we can do now that we couldn't as kids
Alwaysahawk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would actually be a cool bar idea, but drunk people + playground = getting sued.
Infinitell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not if you have a waiver
devicemodder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
go work for Google! they have an indoor slide.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If only my IQ was 180...
SilasTheVirous ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:43:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
very inaccurate. IQ is by far not the largest factor in success and certainly not the only factor too intelligence.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, and I agree. It is a widely used measure though and I figured it could net a few laughs. Not meant to be serious. :)
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If your interested check out what EQ (Emotional Quotient) is, it's exploration has really began to question what we call intelligence. It actually correlates with success far more than IQ. and it's learn-able.
ChiyoSenpai ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:28:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe be careful about going at night. My friends and I tried that once and we got chewed out by some asshole cops.
MechaRiddick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same for me, when I was only 18 (ok I did get hairy early) I was almost arrested in Texas for this exact thing. Maybe I was swinging too high!
OrnateFreak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:19:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อ ส ย อกยฐ)
chronolockster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obstacle courses. But they're usually expensive.
Anon_Logic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I miss playing "Don't touch the lava!"
TheDedicatedDeist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you just look like a drug addict! Which, if you're in the USA, is worse than rape!
Infinitell ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:56:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You sold someone marijuana? YOU FUCKING DISGRACE! life in prison" "You raped someone? Don't do it again okay? 10 years" - The american judicial system
Please note I have no idea what time you get for rape or drugs
TheDedicatedDeist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:22:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A grotesque number of rapes are turned into sexual assault. These penalties change depending on the state;
Rape (f it's not turned into a sexual assault charge) has the possibility of being anywhere from zero years to life (usually a maximum of 10) depending on the circumstances. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_the_United_States#Criminal_punishment)
Weed, on the other hand, can be escalated from a possession charge, which is a misdemeanor in some states into intent to sell if you have two bags (happened to a few people I know). Some states suck more than others, but some states will put you in jail for up to 4-5 years for 10$ worth of weed, more if you happen to have it in two bags, are 1000 feet from a school and are around a minor. (state directory of marijuana laws available at http://norml.org/states)
Don't get me started on how the police actually operate in (or atleast many parts of) the USA.
ChubbyTrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they call it the outdoor gym.
Aktve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never understood this, you're an adult and you want to go to the park... so go to the park. Get on the swings, take a trip down the slide. You really think some helicopter parent is going to call the police because you're enjoying yourself? I'm 26 and I go to parks often and I've literally never had a problem. InB4 step 1.
Reddeadgamer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:19:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all many parks have signs saying anyone above 16-18 are not allowed to use the swings and slides etc. Secondly there is a big social stigma attached to it and people will give you dirty looks, parents approach you and talk to you like you are some kind of pedophile and yes people do call the police on you, albeit its rare. This has happened to a friend of mine before.
Aktve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well personally I have never seen signs like that (CA) and I have also never experienced that sort of stigma. I understand it exists but I think it gets exaggerated a bit.
Reddeadgamer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:28:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the UK so it might be a bit different here.
YxxzzY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes with spikes and lot's of dangerous stuff
HauntedCemetery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
join a rock climbing gym.
Amorine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:49:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are swings and slides at rock climbing gyms?
HauntedCemetery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
anything is a swing or a slide if you try hard enough
wakimaniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called Six Flags.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're called clubs.
colbystan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where the fuck do clubs have swingsets?
PENGUINSflyGOOD ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:57:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sex clubs sometimes do...
PanamaMoe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:51:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well there is this one club, but you need quite a bit of leather and a pass fraise.
DontcarexX ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:48:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A pass strawberry?
SapphireRyu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:20:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something that passes for a strawberry?
MrAwesomelishis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
instructions not clear. accidentally got a straw berry stuck deep inside the dogs rectum
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear you have to be berry strong to actually get it in that far...
PanamaMoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
??? Did I spell it wrong?
DontcarexX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, phrase is what you were looking for. A fraise is a baking term for strawberry
PanamaMoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh ok, thank you.
whiskeybrick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:38:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's called the gym.
Gr8NonSequitur ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:17:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, even stopping by the park alone with your son gets you these glares. "So sorry ladies, I want to take an active part in my son's life and mom isn't feeling well at the moment, so if you'd kindly fuck off and go back to your smart phones that'd be great."
headroom3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for doing this.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:01:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
meh. there was this nice old guy who always used to go on his daily walk and sit on the bench and watch the kids play. I'd see him there all the time when I brought my kids and he'd always say "such a joy to raise a family, isn't it?" I thought he was sweet, not creepy. If you're wearing a trenchcoat and staring that's one thing but I see childless people at the park all the time, walking a dog, feeding the birds, whatever and no parent has ever said anything. I'm Canadian if that makes a difference?
Ebriate ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:09:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old people usually get a pass.
Being in your 40s and you get the perv stares. It's pretty sad that people just can't enjoy the company of other people because of the shit bags that fuck it up for everyone.
GoldMouseTrap ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I wish trench-coats were socially acceptable. Goddamn columbine had to ruin them for me.
Mickyskee ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:47:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just invest in a pair of binoculars so you can spectate from a distance. If someone sees you however, you're probably fucked.
Ebriate ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you're the first... I expected a few asshole comments and you're the winnar...
just_beachy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:01:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're absolutely right. But be honest...if you were at the park with your little kids and there was some guy sitting there with no kids, you'd keep an eye on him.
ilikecrackersnsnacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely! My nursing instructor who worked in our psych prison told us all to watch out for the single man/woman hanging around the pool/park during a time when it's predominantly small children. If you don't have kids, you don't really have business being at family swim. He also told us to watch out for the single strangers who approach you when you're with your kids, as they will often make friendly with mom and dad, to get a good look at your child. But of course, many years of working with sex offenders, and hearing their stories, can make you much more paranoid.
yaba3800 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:19:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the vilification of all men is getting worse and worse. Its pretty fucked up
BeatSkeetAndRetreat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:26:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. I'm a 25 year old guy working at a day care and parents don't mind at all. In fact they like me more than the ladies because I actually have fun with them.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:46:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a guess, but most day cares are fairly busy environments. You're not generally alone with their kids. I would wager many parents would feel differently if you applied to be a nanny.
Haltgamer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean by "have fun with them!?" You fuck kids, don't you!? /s
In all seriousness, I'm afraid that if I ever have children, we'll be at a point of paranoia that I won't be able to be out with my kid without someone freaking out over it.
Ebriate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. And what's even more fucked up is most of what I see in the media is middle aged female teachers banging the kids and getting probation for it. Yes some get a harsh sentence but a majority just get divorced.
roscoe_lo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I go on walks on my lunch and walk through a few parks and feel like everyone is staring at me.
pselie4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just picture they think you're a rock star, but they are too shy to ask for an autograph.
LowFatBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well now I see why parents always tell their grown up kids to give them grandchildren
pencilears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bring a dog, if you're walking a dog you can do what you want.
Ebriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but if you're on lunch break and just want to sit at the park on a bench, eat your lunch on a nice day and watch the kids play you're still branded a perv.
Or, you get hit on by the moms and that's not so bad.
Sodiepawp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had this today. Work as a security guard. Got into an elevator with a mom and her siblings. Smiled at a child in a stroller, she immediately pulled the top and blocked my view of the kid.
Just kinda awkwardly stared at her for a few moments, then got saved by getting to my floor.
This is such a weird/harmful taboo. I give almost everyone a friendly smile, and assuming it's anything more than that, let alone something duplicitous or worse, is just poisonous. There's a difference between being defensive of those you love, and assuming everyone you meet is out to harm you. Paranoid assholes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:59:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stranger Danger. It's all over the news because it sells. FEAR!!!
amightymapleleaf ยท 3222 points ยท Posted at 15:47:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about sex, menstruation, any sexual health in general without feeling the need to hide my pads or whisper so i dont educate anybody on normal bodily functions. God forbid we remove potentially harmful taboos that are in place for no reason.
EarnestQuestion ยท 205 points ยท Posted at 18:16:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It wasn't until I really started dating that I realized how stigmatized women can feel about their bodily functions. My first girlfriend had an irregular period and was hesitant to even tell me at first. Then she looked like I just hit her with a frying pan when I asked about the particulars.
To me it was no different than if she had a skin condition or something - you care about someone, you want to understand what's happening and work with it (so long as you're not intruding about it).
She couldn't believe how comfortable I was with learning about it, but part of being a partner is being cool with knowing and understanding your partner's body as best as you can. I'd expect her to do the same for me
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:43:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have an irregular period and this is so sweet. To be honest I was going to tell any future significant other about that anyway because it's a pretty big part of my health, but it's nice to know that women who were socialized to view menstrual health as a taboo have SO's that inquire about it anyways.
Shaysdays ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:37:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is for you. :) Keep on keepin' on!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:45:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell I did this for a female roommate once. I figured the more relaxed she was around me the nicer it would be to come home.
I was right
spacey_stacy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kudos for you for doing that. A guy friend of mine was looking through my purse to find my phone and hand it to me when I heard a girly scream and looked down to see a tampon on the floor.
It's incredible how uncomfortable men are with feminine products sometimes.
blackorfeu ยท 1154 points ยท Posted at 16:48:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad is this way. I'm a boy stuck between two sisters, so I got used to those topics fast. But whenever it happens to come up he get's super uncomfortable. It's like bro you have two daughters periods aren't magical.
ostentatiousbitch ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 21:16:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My poor father has three daughters and still can't say the word "bra" in front of us.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 00:37:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was raised by my dad (my mom died and he was pretty old and conservative), and yea...the internet and my weird friend Traci from down the block basically had to reassure me that I wasn't dying. Good Guy Traci also helped me steal my first training bra from Walmart because I would have had to ask my dad for the money, and I think I would have rather jumped off a cliff than tell him what I needed the money for. Good times.
CouldBeWolf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:57:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:29:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ya
aah_real_monster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:47:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:05:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad will get up and leave the room when tampon commercials come on on TV. One time I came downstairs in a sports bra (because yoga) and he made me put an apron on to cover up. My dad is weird.
Tuss ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:43:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad went and bought my first pads and tampons when I started to get my periods.
Yesterday he also pressed me to tell him what I used my soldering iron for (fix a broken cable on my vibrator)...
uberchristopher ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:57:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that just by alluding to the facts that you get a period and also use soldering irons to fix your stuff, half of Reddit just got a boner... Or maybe it was just me.
Tuss ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been a handywoman. Leaky drain under the sink? I fix. Broken drawers? I fix. Need a computer? I fix. Need fish? I fix. Something broken in the car? I can try to fix.
I generally think that more people need to try to fix things more often. Being on a tight budget also forces one to try to fix stuff rather than replace or get someone else to fix it.
uberchristopher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:30:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was kinda joking, but kinda not. That's awesome! I'm the same way (for the money reason, but also because it's interesting to learn new shit and why not), and I lament the way shit seems to be increasingly harder to fix diy style these days.
Tuss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:34:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it really sucks. Especially particle board. Damn the person who invented that shit.
ostentatiousbitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad still gets all weird when Viagra commercials come on, it's actually funny to see now that I'm older.
uberchristopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, Viagra commercials are pretty fucking weird. You can pretty much feel the squirms of the people hired to make those when you watch one.
loljetfuel ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 20:32:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that -- it's a generation thing. He was almost certainly taught that discussing bodily functions "in mixed company" was simply rude.
kjata ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 22:09:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing--isn't "mixed company" where some of the best body functions tend to happen?
issius ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:58:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but you shouldn't TALK about them.
Srmingus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:22:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just shut up and stare at them without blinking while you do it, right?
notes taken
bakedSnarf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:36:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me get this straight, so daughters shouldn't be able to talk to their parents or around their parents about natural things that happen to their bodies? Teach kids to shut up about this shit around their parents and they'll never open up to anybody very easily again, lemme tell you.
issius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whoosh
headroom3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Add a /s and and a paragraph about that's fucked up and the sweet, sweet, karma will flow in.
Hayasaka-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is where my dad was kind of the man while I was in high school. If he ever had any issues with feminine products (he is one of three boys) my mom had made him get over them by the time my period started. My parents were divorced and I spent a good chunk of my middle and high school years living with my dad and it was never weird asking him to pick me up pads on his way home from work or something.
pudinnhead ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:48:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How funny. Growing up, my dad was the one who would go to the store and get pads and things for me. He even had a code word for them. If he was going to the store he'd say, "Hey Pudinnhead, do you need any sailboats?" I'd let him know one way or the other. He had no qualms with it.
PrettyPoltergeist ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:40:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad called them first aid kits, because his mom did back in the day.
CouldBeWolf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:02:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a good way of scareing the fuck out of some kid.
GoddamnSusanBoyle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable.
lululiya ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:27:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pfff once when we were at my trailer for a couple weeks in the summer, i ran outta tampons. Couldn't drive at that age, had to ask my dad to run into town and get some for me. He acted like I had asked him to retrieve a bag of human poop for me or something.
Then he went, and came back with pads. I was like what the heck, I said tampons! He informed me that he asked a teenage girl working at the grocery store "what's the best thing to buy for a 15 year old girl on her period"
wtf dad.
PrettyPoltergeist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:39:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I woulda sent that sucker back home with a box of q tips, some lemon juice and cola ("it helps with cramps!"), and a package of Depends. Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer.
DeplorableVillainy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"She needs the Cocopuffs!"
"What? Why?"
"WHO IS THE EXPERT HERE?"
uberchristopher ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is that a dumb question? What am I missing? What's a poor dad trying to help his poor hormone machine supposed to ask? Please help me understand why you're not an insensitive fuck.
PrettyPoltergeist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She asked her dad for tampons. He proceeded to disregard what she wanted and asked some stranger what a girl on her period would want, ignoring that everyone is different and this stranger would have no idea what his daughter prefers.
uberchristopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that makes sense. What about all that other stuff? (Hopefully it's painfully obvious that I'm a boy) I thought you were being kinda mean and not helping the girl and her dad at all. Depends? Really?
PrettyPoltergeist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just being a snark. When someone sends you to the store with a request, it's silly to ask some stranger what they might want. And if you're a forty year old man who has reproduced you should have a basic idea of what she needs even if you forget. After all there's only two options: pads and tampons.
Depends are often in the same aisle or the next one over and have pretty packaging. If he's really that in the dark I could see him being like "look honey, super absorbent!" and her being mortified.
Although fun fact, those Depends pads are actually fantastic for post partum bleeding because they're way more absorbent than regular pads. I bought some after my son was born.
uberchristopher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point, I learned this pretty early on in my dating life when I went to get tampons for a laid-up girlfriend. Also, that depends thing is a fun fact, lol. Thanks =)
lululiya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha ok just to clear things up he didn't disregard what I asked for, he just legitimately didn't know the difference. And he asked for help from someone he thought would know best (IN THE WEIRDEST WAY POSSIBLE) and came home probably thinking "fuck yeah nailed it, I'm the coolest dad"
Which he is. But not on that day. I CANT SWIM WITH PADS, DAD, GOD!
VagCookie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:31:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad had one older sister. He has FOUR DAUGHTERS and a wife. The topic makes him so uncomfortable. I was out to breakfast with my parents and was trying to be taboo that I needed to stop at the store for "products" because I had forgotten to bring some with me.
The worst was the fact that I had lost my debit card, and at 23 years old had to have my dad buy my tampons and liners. Oh lord he turned red, handed me 20 dollars and scooted away quickly with the coolant he needed for his truck.
He has four daughters, the oldest of which went through puberty 15 years ago. He should be used to it now. He got all embarrassed when my mom gave me the worst talk ever basically "You'll start to bleed from your privates, when that happens.. see me" and then when it did i got nothing more that "Tampons steal your virginity" which I didn't know what that was until high school... or basically anything about sex...
cerebralinfarction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh jesus. Did they not know that they were dealing with someone named VagCookie?
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just liked how it sounded.
DeltaF1 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same situation. My father's parents were very formal, and so even just mentioning sex or relationships gets him uncomfortable. My female friends can't gross me out by talking about their periods, since I grew up with all sisters.
c00kies44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I learned a lot more from having three older sisters than anything in school :P
transmogrified ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And he was probably regularly sticking his penis into the area that blood comes out of in order to have at least three children.
I mean - presumably your mother and father were sleeping together. I don't get why you wouldn't want to understand the place you stick your penis.
uhlmax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? And he's married to a woman...
jesuskater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know but dammit i find it uncomfortable
redditclark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Easier said than done. I've have three teenage daughters and no sons and yes, it makes me super uncomfortable. Talking about the female menstrual cycle with another adult, while I still find it unpleasant, is much easier than being around these conversations where my teenagers are involved. Maybe it is because of my very conservative upbringing, I am not sure. I'm not justifying my irrational discomfort, but simply admitting it. As my daughters have approached adulthood it has gotten a little better but the frequency of these subjects being brought up in my presence has also decreased.
Misogynist-ist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My Little Period: Menstruation is Magic!
keyshiner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My step dad puts any topics about women in the "filing cabinet". We aren't allowed to talk about periods, bras, or anything else about being a woman in his presence. Very obnoxious because when my sisters and I visit there are 5 women around. Hard not to talk about it.
derf-vega ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 21:12:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's kind of fair. But I don't talk about my itchy nuts at the dinner table.
amightymapleleaf ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:29:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking while you're eating, though. If we are in the house (pretend you're my brother) and I need pads (and I'm suddenly younger, can't drive, and financially dependent), I'm going to say "hey, I need to get some pads because my period is coming up and I only have one left which, we know, lasts maybe two hours."
Your itchy nuts are completely different, because that would equate to my vagina being itchy. Which tbh I think I've had conversations with friends about how guys itching their nuts in public isn't too big of a deal, but girls developed a whole subtle-dance to satisfy the itch.
derf-vega ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 21:44:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but you could just say "hey can you give me a ride, its urgent"
The additional info is not necessary. For example, if my nuts were really itchy, I wouldn't say hey take me down the road, I have itchy nuts.
Kitty_Burglar ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:32:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but your itchy nuts don't bleed everywhere and cause a huge bloody mess, ruining your pants and underwear.
Kale ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:06:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on how hard you scratch.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:13:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't you, you know, turn it off by taking pills?
chaosmosis ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 21:58:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think mentioning your period specifically when requesting pads is analogous to mentioning poop specifically when requesting toilet paper. In fact blood is grosser than poop, and less commonly seen in healthy people, so it's even a bit worse a taboo.
amightymapleleaf ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:28:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally over half of the population bleeds/sheds in this manner. It has nothing to do with poor health, so you're literally adding to the stigma. In fact, it's a huge sign that something is dangerously wrong if you stop having a period.
chaosmosis ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 22:32:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've missed my analogy entirely. Pooping is also natural and healthy, yet poop is nonetheless perceived as gross.
CitrusSeven ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:25:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd argue pooping is another thing we need to get over having issues with, especially since some very serious things that can be wrong with someone are caught early because of a change in bowel habits. God forbid your kid is pooping blood or hasn't pooped in a week and they don't tell you because "it's gross".
chaosmosis ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:00:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What evidence is there suggesting this is a socialized reaction?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FWIW, you do have a point.
butyourenice ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:26:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But menstruation and defecation are not analogous. The female analogue to male defecation is still defecation.
Farts-R-Us ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 23:36:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's natural ands it's not gross in a clinical sense but why do girls refuse to accept the fact that phlegmy blood secreted from your pussy is kind of an uncomfortable topic when discussed in any detail beyond "i have my period"
chaosmosis ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 23:32:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something can be analogous to multiple things. A=A is not much of an analogy, anyways.
butyourenice ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:34:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's a poor analogy, and the only reason you see it as analogous is because of socialization and stigma. Which is appropriate, given the thread.
chaosmosis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:08:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both blood and feces have disease risks, inspire a disgust reaction in people, and are impolite to discuss in public. This is true universally, across many different human cultures and time periods. You have given no reason the analogy is inappropriate that I have not refuted. The analogy is entirely appropriate.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have one: Feminism.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:15:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh he's right though guys don't want to hear that kinda stuff gotta keep it on the DL.
Ataya970 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:20:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one fucking cares if you don't wanna hear it or not. It happens to half the population get over it.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have worked on farms. Poop does nothing to me anymore. Yeah, don't want to talk about it as I'm eating chocolate pudding. but I really don't give a shit.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well periods ARE weird..
I_dig_fe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:17:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that way and I'm 21. But my parents are really old school(read: old) but that's fine by me. Then again, i really want to live in the mid 20th century. Then again, I'm a white straight mainly conservative man so i really wouldn't have many social issues that would directly affect me.
Disclaimer: i don't want to live back then cuz I'm racist or anything like that i just really like old things. Also I'm a firm believer technology is ruining our lives eg; buzzfeed. I fucking hate them. I've never wasted more time in my life then when i dated a girl addicted to that click whore site
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:17:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I just scratched my balls, I don't know, I think the hair is growing through the underwear and it's like pulling when I move. Fucking hurts. Not to mention I've still got that recurring cyst thing on my right nut, kinda halfway up on the sack. Hasn't started oozing like it usually does but it is going down thankfully. Kinda has me worried it was an std, but it's the same as I usually get so I guess it's pretty normal and I don't get why your dad is so fucking uptight when people talk about their oozing genitalia. Does any of your family, preferably young ones you are related to, have any other genital issues you want to discuss with me?
Edit: wtf OP stop being so uptight. These are real issues wtf is wrong with discussing them? They. Are. Natural.
SpermJackalope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried changing your underwear more than once a month?
[deleted] ยท 687 points ยท Posted at 17:37:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mualphatautau ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:01:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow it's shocking to hear that schools would shun education about periods like it would sexual intercourse. I get that conservative schools hope that sex won't happen if they don't talk about it, but periods will come. Most girls get their periods in middle school (but elementary school teachers definitely need to be ready too).
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:45:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
My education regarding biology and sex was really not good. Throughout my schooling years, I can essentially summarise it as "Boys get hair and girls get boobs. This is a sperm and this is an egg. A penis gets erect because blood flows to it. LOOK AT THESE HORRIFYING PICTURES OF STIS AND STDS. This is how you put a condom on a banana."
Another thing was that we didn't learn much about the biology of the opposite sex, which had some fun consequences. Due to being moody teenagers, having our girlfriends be suddenly out of whack and even more moody than usual, and offhandedly excusing it as "PMS" or "I'm on my period" resulted in nothing more than every boy mocking women for being stupid and hormonal, all day, all the time. If only we had Hank and Laci Green who can teach us in relatively short videos that "we are all hormonal all the time," and that no, your hymen is not a piece of cling film in your vagina that's broken away once you have sex.
Edit: Rewrote. Also, a few other channels you may be interested in from those two Youtubers are SciShow and its varients for Hank, and A Naken Notion as well as Braless for Laci.
Edit 2: Sexplanations is also a very good channel for sex and sexual health advice.
woodlandLSG23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit Hank and Laci are the best. Watched these before my sex ed class because I was really curious and my parents never talked to me about this stuff.
Kasta_Fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! These shows are awesome and educational. Also check out sexplanations.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have only just recently discovered her channel, but I have to agree, it's amazing.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:21:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird. I went to a private Catholic school through HS, and my middle school had very in depth sex ed. And they didn't separate the boys and girls into different classes for the period/whatever guys talk about when they're separated (wet dreams?) talk. I think they did for maybe one class just so girls could ask questions without boys there, but the general talk was done in mixed company and included a drawing of a giant uterus on the chalk board.
HitlerWasADoozy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Honestly the situation for me was the same at Christian school as it was at public school. If it was brought up a couple boys might joke and that was it. I could ask my teachers/counselors advice about things like that and they wouldn't be phased. Don't see where the big hullabaloo is.
N6TJA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile, I go to a private school and have had sex-ed classes since Kindergarten.
Babyelephantstampy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost the same here. I went to a private school and started having sex-ed classes in first grade. Of course everything was addressed in a way we could understand, but it really did help a lot.
clemtine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a private and semi religious middle school. We had great sex ed, covered periods and other basics like protected sex vs unprotected sex plus all the anatomy stuff. This was 5th grade, even more information was given in 6th and 8th.
Anyway, it really depends on the private school, the administration and the parents (who in private school have a lot of power).
woodlandLSG23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Jesus I wish we had sex ed that early. We had a puberty lesson about our gender (it was split between girls and boys) in grade 5. Didn't have any real sex ed talks until 2nd sem of grade 9. By then a girl was already pregnant.
KallistiTMP ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:58:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother was raised in an extremely conservative christian household (read, mentally abusive). No one gave her the talk. Got her first period at school and thought she was dying, and that God must have been punishing her for kissing a guy.
Golden_Phi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At my high school you can go to the office and ask for tampons and stuff. I think you can get condoms from there too.
mariataytay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had kind of the opposite thing. Catholic middle and elementary school, and we talked about it. No biggie. Boys and girls were together for some of it, and then separated to talk about gender specific things. Still briefed of the other sex though. Got to ask questions, etc.
When I got to jr high, in a public school they didn't talk about it at all. Maybe it was too old for us? But I think some sex ed would be really useful at that age.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school, my teacher literally spent an entire class period talking about sex. Everyone was really uncomfortable.
bortnib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sex ed at my school was about love and marriage and not using contraception.
i went to catholic school
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:25:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:49:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Puberty starts for most people around then, and many parents leave any sort of education up to the schools. Girls, for instance, tend to start their period at the age of 11-13, on average.
theredvip3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's when boys discover masturbation too
breakplans ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:13:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
?? I'm a girl, I discovered masturbation around age 11 as well. Many of my friends did too. It's not like puberty means masturbation for boys and periods for girls. Everyone masturbates.
Rather_Unfortunate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people start it probably varies wildly from person to person. I'm male and only discovered I could do it when I was just turned 14.
breakplans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My point exactly. Everyone's slightly different, but basically ends up finding the same pleasures around 11-13. Girls included.
Rather_Unfortunate ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:25:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
EDIT: OP's original comment said something along the lines of "what do middle-schoolers need to know anyway?"
Everything.
No, really. Better to have kids who have underage sex and know what the risks and precautions are than to have kids having underage sex without knowing the importance of contraception or believing the various myths that surround sex. Assuming Middle School is roughly ages 9-13 in the US (that's what it used to be in the UK, and I don't understand the American grades system) then that's exactly when kids need to be taught about their bodies.
Sex-ed began for me in Year 5 (aged 9-10), with lessons about the basic biology of reproduction (penis gets erect, ejaculation takes place inside the vagina, sperm fertilises the egg etc.) and what's going to happen in puberty. At this point, such classes were kept gender-segregated in order to cover it better and field more questions actually relevant to each gender. In secondary school (beginning aged 11) sex-ed was expanded upon to include the other gender and in more detail, although by that point pretty much every kid knew that stuff anyway.
At 13 we had a brilliant full-day session led by two of the best teachers in the school where we were taught about the importance of contraception and how to both access it confidentially and use it (with a practical demonstration for condoms on a wooden penis). Also covered were the less pleasant things like STDs and rape.
sothatshowyougetants ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:10:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...REALLY?
Itsacubanthing_ ยท 188 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ahaha yes and speaking of - I go to an infantry explorers post (like a boy scouts-supported JROTC, which - you guessed it - is mostly guys) and yesterday we were prepping for a FTX (think survival field trip in the middle of nowhere). My sergeant was briefing the cadets on hygiene kits and recommended the ladies inform him if it was "that time" for any of us so he would be prepared to have extra materials/emergency change of clothes, etc. and the boys in my squad straight up started laughing at him for a solid minute. We're all like 16-17 y/o and I couldn't believe that people were like so surprised/uncomfortable he brought it up, like it was some crazy unspoken secret that we have genitals that do genital stuff sometimes.
rachface636 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 20:49:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shoulda embarrassed them. "Oh, and any young men laughing at that statement, word of advice for you. Leave the condoms at home. No female here is interested in fucking someone too immature to know what a vagina does naturally. You just proved your virginity."
sanktheworldswolf ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:45:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's edgy.
amightymapleleaf ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:27:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously my vagina is a secret agent. What she does on her period is nobody's to know... That is so ridiculous though. I appreciate you.
thenameofmynextalbum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:25:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not going to lie, first thought that came to mind was "Octopussy" lmao.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith
funkybutts ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 17:30:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The menstruation thing bothers me. Sure I don't want to go around telling everyone I know, but for fuck's sake, there's nothing wrong with me. It's human. It's a thing that happens. Every month.
Shaysdays ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:52:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love, love love this sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihRHIGpyspA
I don't agree with everything in it, (I don't like chocolate, for example, and I just get tired, not cranky) but the presentation is hilarious.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 22:20:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hate this stereotype that we need to be pampered and given chocolate and cuddles. Those things are welcome at all times of the month, I don't need more of those on my period, and infantilizing me during a monthly occurence does not make me love you more, sorry. If I'm say, 25, I've gone through this like 150 times, even with the worst of cramps, like I've been here before, I dont want to be bothered or babied.
EDIT: That's not to say i'm a cold-hearted person, if you want to rub my feet or my back during the rest of my life at times when i need it that'd be really loving, but to treat me like a cripple five days a month or an emotionally compromised bomb, is really insulting. There can't possible be women who are proud of being treated like absolute children during this time of the month.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:45:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough! Who am I to argue with your experience?
I find anything sugary makes it worse for me, so I just avoid sugar and grains during my period. try being the operative world. If my feelies are crying for haribo peachy gummy things, the feelies are getting haribo peachy gummy things.
VagCookie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:39:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man do I know what you mean. I was in the candy aisle for five minutes yesterday trying to decide what my body needed. My boyfriend once asked me
"Why pistachios"
"I saw a shell on the sidewalk...and then I wanted them... and now I won't stop thinking about them until I eat them."
"Why Pizza"
"Some one reheated some at work... also pizza"
Right now I really want Wendy's because I was re-watching UnBreakable Kimmy Schmidt and they call her "Wendy's original Hamburger" and basically I will want Wendy's until I get Wendy's.
BlueEyedGreySkies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle is real for us. I've been craving a Reese cup for over a month.... Apparently the Reese ice cream didn't count.
VagCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want a magic cookie bar. Just saw a picture of one on Facebook, thing is I rarely eat them and they are far too rich ha ha. But goddamn I want to make them!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume some people benefit from the endorphins you get from eating chocolate.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree with the chocolate and pampered thing. Like, is it really that necessary to have a binge period like that where the common conception is that you should eat lots of junk food to make you feel better and just lie around 24/7 for an entire week every month? I'm a girl who's had severe cramps her entire life and I hate this because it implies that women are not capable of much (especially working or going to school, which is more pertinent in third world countries) during their period. When I was younger I used my period as an excuse to be lazy and do no schoolwork and eat too much junk food because I thought that was what would make me feel better. It didn't, and it damaged my health and put me behind in school.
Of course, it's great to relax a little during that time, and of course if you have severe cramps do whatever necessary for that. But for a large majority of women it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, and doing this just adds to the stereotype of the incapacitated woman on her period. I mean, it's gonna happen for 1/4 of our pre-menopausal lives, basically. Putting a hold on 1/4 of my life and letting shit fly isn't helping me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it also entirely possible that experiences vary, even with cramps? People experience pain differently, having different thresholds, and cramps will have different characteristics in different people. Just because yours were painful yet manageable and you used them as an excuse doesn't mean that everyone's is, and sometimes the hormones do get fucky with your emotions and logic. It doesn't mean you can't be a useful member of society, but I'd hesitate to call it entirely made up either. Personally, I don't get the cramps 99% of the time, but I do get one day where I feel incredibly energetic and happy, followed by a day where I get the dubious pleasure of suicidal ideation for a whole day. If I have to comfort eat to counteract the self harm impulses, I'll take it, even though pampering sounds distasteful.
That said, where I'm from it's always been the recommendation to do some physical activity to counteract the cramps. Of course, if you're a heavy bleeder, have debilitating cramps, and get the fucky brain logic to boot, that's not gonna sound like a very appealing option.
I mean, ideally people would finally get it into their heads that women are individuals and there is no one true truth for half the world's population, so that women who don't want children/a family or have menstruation issues don't have to get treated like those who do, but evidently that's too much to ask for.
GuildedCasket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be infantalizing, but if someone knows that you are generally going to be in pain, tired, and maybe a little less perky than usual, I don't think it's bad or sexist or wrong to show up with chocolate, acknowledge with some sympathy, etc. As long as it's not done in a patronizing manner
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I 100% agree. Some of us aren't a raging mess on our periods and I resent being treated like that without cause. VERY different than me pouting to my partner that i'm feeling terrible and sore, and then he goes out and gets something to make me feel better. In a reversed situation, I'd rush to the store for him as well. But it's the "oh it's THAT time of the month.. better tip-toe around the she-beast" mentality that I'd love to do away with.
MissMaster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:51:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will now refer to my tampons as 'space dynamite'
funkybutts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finally got a chance to watch this. I love this, there are no other appropriate words to describe my reaction.
PokeFire78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy and I'm not bothered by it at all. You can openly talk about that shit and I won't get grossed out. I'm more grossed out by bad breath.
Scherezade_Jones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conversely though, there are some girls who seem to love talking about it and asking questions. Like, I'm all for not pretending it doesn't exist, but let's treat it like all other bodily functions and realize no one wants details. It's not bonding, it's not lunchroom talk (seriously), and its not something that makes me feel like talking to you again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
funkybutts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You probably don't go out of your way to tell people with IBS how gross they are though. Some people seem to think that's ok for women who have periods. There's a pretty good example in one of the replies to my post.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would if they brought it up.
funkybutts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case it seems to be more a matter of tact, for both parties involved.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, everyone shits but that doesn't mean everyone wants to discuss the big goopy diarrhea you had the other night. It's still an awkward subject for people even if they understand it's not anything especially strange.
funkybutts ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:54:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with not talking about it, too. Totally makes sense. I just don't want guys telling me out of the blue that I'm gross if I've not brought it up (because I don't). Every body is gross. Don't need to be told that mine is gross just because my gross thing is different from your gross thing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:17:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why your butt will always be funky.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I agree that sort of response shows a lack of tact on the persons part.
blamb211 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 22:26:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's normal, it's natural, but it's still gross. Sorry. I'm a guy, so maybe that contributes a big part of it. I wouldn't consider it a taboo in any way, I just don't want to talk about it.
funkybutts ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:53:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm totally cool with that, not wanting to talk about it. I think ejaculation is gross (lesbian as can be), but I don't tell my friends who do it that its gross out of the blue. Sometimes that seems to happen with menstruation as a topic, and it just isn't a nice thing to hear.
[deleted] ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 22:56:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is disgusting and you should be ashamed, don't go around wearing it like some proud badge. you dirty pig.
funkybutts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:49:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, someone die? Because if you keep reacting by taking it out on people you don't know, no one is ever going to care about you.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 00:58:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit aint nobody gonna care about you either in 100 years everyone on earth today will be long gone and forgotten.
funkybutts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally, because I care about what happens in 100 years.
At least at the end of the day, I go home to people who love and care about me. If I didn't, I'd probably come up with some bullshit excuse to pretend I didn't care either. Makes it sting less, doesn't it?
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 01:10:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making up random context in your head to substitute reality with is a nice way to live.
Love and care? shit aren't you an attention seeking whore, you need people to love and care for you to be happy? all about you huh?
funkybutts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a sad attempt at reading, I'll give it that.
mardybum17 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:57:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get really bad cramps, nausea and fatigue almost every period. Some times it's so bad I go home early or can hardly eat for a day or two...or three. It's really hard to explain this to people (guys in particular) without feeling some sort of embarrassment or shame...I know it's not my fault and it shouldn't be taboo...but still, saying, "sorry I don't want to go to lunch because I'm on my period and I can't stomach food right now" makes me so self conscious...
amightymapleleaf ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:09:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that so much. For the longest time, I couldn't even mention periods because I was around so many guys who would say "oh my god ewwwwww stop." My cramps get so bad I've blacked out. Luckily I met a crowd of guys that I'm friends with (I'm dating one of them) who actually would bring me chocolate, hug me, and be human heating pads when I was stuck at school without painkillers.
mardybum17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah! I blacked out once in class from the pain...that sucked :(
and that's awesome! haha kinda jealous.
MissBubbleButt ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:17:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I bought some tampons and my boyfriend was like "what's in the bag?" I was like "tampons" he got kinda weird and said something like "jeez not so loud." I used to be shy about it, but I don't care anymore, half the world bleeds out their vaginas, im not gonna be coy.
amightymapleleaf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:21:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. My boyfriend was in the car with me (I forget why I was driving) and he asked if we could stop to grab condoms, and I said "oh yeah, I need pads too. thanks babe." No weirdness. It made my night that the guy checking out in front of us looked at what we were getting, looked back at us, looked back at the items and did that shrug/frown thing of approval.
pirarchy ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 20:19:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I'm expected to savor and swallow what comes out of a penis. I'm expected to crave it inside me, on my face, on my body. But if I so much as even mention what comes out of a vagina, I'm an object of utter revulsion.
amightymapleleaf ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 21:39:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
seriously, preach it girl/boy. Dicks are supposed to be the dream of every woman, but vaginas are scary monsters nobody can talk about without saying "fuck" "pound" "punish" etc.
areyoudancingatall ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:33:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote an article for my college newspaper about reproductive rights, and I found out the next day my (male) editors had censored the word "vagina," changing it to "body" in a quote from someone โ the context was something like "I don't want people telling me what I can and can't do with my vagina" โ and I got so mad. They told me they weren't sure they could use "that word" in the paper. Yet I'm sure "penis" would be acceptable. Not to mention some of those editors probably had had their penises in a vagina and yet they still didn't feel comfortable saying it.
amightymapleleaf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel this so much! I had a history teacher (divorced, has one kid) nearly send me to the office for saying "vagina", but right after I said "penis" and he chuckled because apparently that is more acceptable.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well they do have all those teeth in there.
timesuck897 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:23:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a few younger guys who would make jokes about gay guys and blow jobs. Ew, cum and dicks, gross. But they probably love blow jobs and facials.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:22:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so irritated when I come across "shark week" instead of "I'm on my period."
It's like... I know what you are saying. just say it?
amightymapleleaf ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:58:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I literally didn't know for the longest time that "Shark week" meant anything more than that week on Discovery channel? Whenever I found out... It doesn't make sense? The only connection is blood? We could call it any predator week? You're a human, not a bucket of chum. Come on now.
AvatarWaang ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:05:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, I always ask as many questions as I can admit periods when the subject is brought up by a girl. I think it makes them feel more comfortable and I get to learn something that I can use in life to empathize better
folderol ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 19:52:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know what your orientation is but you aren't going to get laid like that. Always? I would think that once you'd heard a couple explanations you will pretty much an expert. How many details could there really be?
AvatarWaang ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:42:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Straight, not trying to get laid. I do know quite a bit now, but again, it's more about the girl being more comfortable around me. For example, if I'm trying to make friends. Also, that knowledge and empathy helps with existing girlfriends.
folderol ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 21:58:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I resisted to use the word friend zone but that is exactly what you are going for. If that's the case then more power to you.
Arydus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, my autistic daughter got her first period today and while it was uncomfortable for me as her father (Mom had not yet arrived home) I was able to handle it with no problem. Her disability was more of the issue for me as she's not on the same mental level so it compounds the normal anxiety.
I don't understand why people are squeamish about body functions. I like my privacy but damn man, you married a woman and have a daughter so you NEED to get over it.
THER0YALWE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend and I talk about periods monthly. I've introduced a lot of people to the idea of menstrual cups and she has now too. It's crazy how some people are so opposed to talking about a basic bodily function-I'm not talking about it over dinner or a glass of red wine!
kaylameow_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much this. My sister and I lived together for a while, then her boyfriend moved in. She got all weird about me "properly" disposing of my pads. "kaylameow_, boyfriend can SEE your pad when you don't roll it up tightly and wrap it in massive amounts of toilet paper. Thats gross." "Dude. I don't fucking care. Tell him to get over it or he can leave." Granted, I was also annoyed from hearing their obnoxiously-loud sex, so I may have been a bit on edge.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they were having sex and her boyfriend doesn't know about periods, then something is amiss.
jjsullivan5196 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy, my girl friends will always go around with cryptic euphemisms about how they're on their period and need to find a bathroom.
As soon as I can nail it down, I just blurt "so you're on your period?"
Girls, we get you have bodily functions too, just say it. Don't spend time inadvertently confusing us.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have some female friends that can talk to me bout taking a dump, menstruation, breast size, and other "dirty" stuff with no problem. It IS a bit weird to me though because im not used to it (lol) I am male BTW
BattleStag17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, no kidding. Sex fascinates me, and I absolutely love finding out what people's kinks are. But the only time I can ever talk to people about their sexual fetishes is safely behind the Internet, no one I actually know aside from my own girlfriend can bear to even mention it.
And this one time in high school a lady friend suddenly came on her period, and when I offered to run to the store to buy tampons for her she looked like I just stood up and dropped trow in front of her. "Oh my god, you're willing to do that!?" "...Yes?"
pianodan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It bothers the shit out of me that women have to be so secretive about menstruation or their genitalia. I'll bring that shit up to my closest friends and they'll start whispering or get grossed out and say ew about something that's fucking natural to them and shouldn't be seen as anything other than natural. Its fucking craziness. Even if I'm a dude, you can talk to me about your period. Describe your vagina in detail. I don't give a fuck. It especially bothers me that most dudes are also repulsed by the concept. How the fuck are we so scared to accept something more normal than the clothes we wear and the cars we drive? In all realness, I think it has something to do with male figures who built our society trying to exploit feminine insecurities to gain more power, but in a time where we've advanced so much, we should really be able to think a little more clearly and see through the bullshit.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:48:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HauntedMinge ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 17:07:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here i don't really want a female co-worker whipping out her tampons and telling me she's on a heavy flow. No thanks
leeeesahhh ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:59:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the original point wasn't that it should be okay to just walk around announcing your bodily functions, but that you shouldn't be ashamed of them IF the situation arises where it needs to be brought up. For instance, if you need to ask someone for tampons, it shouldn't be a secret thing...
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:26:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HauntedMinge ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry i didn't really put much thought into what i said. People buying/showing/discussing feminine hygiene products is totally fine i have no issues with that at all (you would have to be a complete moron to think there was). My point was more people going into their bodily functions in great detail when other people may not really want to know. I had a female co-worker do this to me before, im guessing for shock humour but i personally found it a bit odd as to why you would share that with someone who you hardly know.
NicoUK ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:21:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Just because a thing is natural, doesn't mean that it's acceptable discourse.
How many 'pro-period conversation' supports go around talking about their shits?
Shaysdays ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:50:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand I asked my mom if she had any tampons, and my dad put his hands over his ears and said, "Lalala I can't hear this."
He has three daughters, been married to my mom my entire life, and the mention of a tampon still makes him squeamish, it's ridiculous.
NicoUK ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:23:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bit weird. I also don't understand why guys are squeamish about buying Tampons, WTF is the big deal?
Shaysdays ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:36:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may get a giggle out of this scene:
https://youtu.be/ggRR_O0ZT70?t=148
[deleted] ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 18:21:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can you really blame him for not wanting to have the mental image of menstrual blood coming out of his daughter's vagina?
AstaraelGateaux ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:43:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My analogy would be, the situation is similar to:
"Hey dad is their any toilet paper left?"
"LALALA I DON'T WANT TO THINK OF YOU POOPING GROOOOOOOOOSS."
Oh wait though it's about a perfectly natural FEMALE bodily function so all of a sudden that's crossing the line?
Shaysdays ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:44:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a better one, thank you!
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 18:47:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My thought was that it's more like the daughter being grossed out if the dad asked the mom for a condom because it connotes them having sex. Most people don't want to end up thinking about their parents having sex. Most dads don't want to end up thinking about their daughter's menstrual cycle. That's just the way it is, it doesn't have to be about sexism and misogyny all of the sudden.
AstaraelGateaux ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:00:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking about a condom in a family setting is weird because it's unnecessary, and it directly refers to sex, which is a private matter (but hey, maybe it would be nice if eventually sex isn't taboo either).
When a girl needs a pad, she usually needs it right-fucking-now, it's not a choice of hers.
If talking about toilet paper isn't grounds for people freaking out, but talking about pads are, when both involve involuntary, common bodily functions (that usually require urgent supplies to deal with) then that's pretty misogynistic.
I don't think there is a woman in this thread asking to be able to declare to the world the minute details of their period, but just be able to not be humiliated if it's ever mentioned.
Like, even at 25, I'm still careful to never let anyone see my pads/tampons when I open my bag. And if I have my period in a public place I have to slide supplies up my sleeve like a magician doing a card trick. It's such a hassle and all the onus is on us to keep up the illusion.
Shaysdays ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:53:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If my dad asked my mom for a condom in front of me... that would just be weird. That's usually something two people use in the heat of the moment. Like, to put in his pocket? Why would he need one outside the bedroom with people around?
Unless he asked my mom to get one so he could show us how it works or something, or do that thing where the adult rolls it over their arm and says, "Never let him tell you he's too big."
If he said something like, "We need condoms" while she's making up a grocery list, I doubt it would really register unless he made a big deal out of it.
0urlasthope ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 19:23:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont want to hear about my sons getting massive erections either. If it isnt causing bodily harm, i dont wanma fucking hear it. Boys or girls, parents or children.
AstaraelGateaux ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:31:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming your sons don't need any assistance when they get their massive erections?
Again, erections directly refer to sex, whereas periods just fucking happen. There is nothing we can do about it and it means nothing to do with sex.
0urlasthope ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 19:52:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK then if youre able to say sex is off limits (which i think is what youre saying) then why cant people say certain bodily functions is off limits?
Point is as progressive as people on reddit want/pretend to be, its never gonna be acceptable for people to talk about their periods in public or sex in formal occasions etc etc. People dont want to hear about it, simple as that. I dont get why we have to mask it as sexism or whatever.
AstaraelGateaux ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:08:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's unfair to have certain unavoidable bodily functions tolerated (you don't spew when someone goes to the bathroom because you instantly imagine them pissing/shitting, do you?), but disallow the ones that only affect women.
Someone excuses themselves to go to the bathroom. A non-issue.
Someone excuses themselves to go to the bathroom and you see they are carrying a pad. Faux pas of the century.
Kid shouts "We are running out of toilet paper!". Ok noted.
Kid shouts "We are running out of tampons!". OMG WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW. STOP FLAUNTING YOUR BODILY FUNCTIONS.
There is a pretty obvious double standard and I feel like I keep repeating the same things over and over in this thread.
Shaysdays ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:26:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
By that logic, if someone asks you for toilet paper, all you can think about is them pooping. (Thank you, /u/AstaraelGateaux!)
You don't have to actually picture that stuff unless you've convinced yourself it's taboo or disgusting enough to warrant dwelling on it.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:50:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, ya know, people could have involuntary mental reactions in response to certain verbal cues because they're like, human or something.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 18:33:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AstaraelGateaux ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:09:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Call me Sherlock Holmes, but because they commented about asking their mom for tampons like 2 comments above this, I have a feeling that /u/Shaysdays might just be a "she", not a "he".
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 18:31:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AstaraelGateaux ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:41:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully not as ridiculous as you. Would your reaction be the same if she asked if there was any toilet paper left and her dad had that reaction?
Grow up.
[deleted] ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NicoUK ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:24:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... I think Call of Duty chat is leaking again
AstaraelGateaux ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:02:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aye good luck with all that pal.
abcde123987 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:06:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't necessarily want to be able to describe the consistency in a public setting, but it's like women have to hide the fact that periods even exist, like god forbid someone notice the outside of packaging for pads in my bag or I HAPPEN to mention "oh wait I need to stop for pads" on the way to a trip or something. I surround myself with people who aren't stuck-up about that kind of thing, but the general public still has this really shock-and-horror so-gross-and-nasty reaction to periods or period-related issues even being mentioned. Another example is side-effects like "oh I get really awful menstrual migraines," the woman is talking about her headaches and not her period but because she dared to mention her cycle, it's suddenly gross and inappropriate.
0urlasthope ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 19:19:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I fucking hate the argument "its natural, so it must be an acceptable topic for conversation in every single context"
folderol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest I may not want to hear what you have to say about. I got tired of working in industry and having to listen to what guys were "going to do with that chick over there." I don't want to think about her pussy all over your mustache dick head.
amightymapleleaf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:12:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is really fair, and I didn't think about that. That wasn't exactly what I meant about talking about sex. I had a guy friend (I am a girl) who would kind of talk like that, in a way, and it was just disgusting. But sexual health kind of stuff (condoms? cleaning down there? shaving/waxing/whatever? cool beans) and all of that shouldn't be so taboo. Maybe I don't want to hear about somebody's possible STI, but if talking about it gets you educated, whatever. It's really no business of mine what other people talk about.
Zaiya53 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's more because people aren't comfortable in their sexuality yet. They feel embarrassed if they've tried something, anything, other than your normal run of the mill positions. I think we're all getting a little better about it though, little bit at a time!
hvrock13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think people want to hear about that because why would they?
PC509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's friends like me because I really don't care. They can talk about their period, and I can buy pads or tampons, and it's not a big deal. Welcome to humanity.
DefenderOfSquirrels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the crowd. Everyone in my family and my husbands family is in medicine. Dinner table conversation has touched on biopsies, menstruation, childbirth, and so much more. It's just part of life, man.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May I come to your dinner table? I'm absolutely terrified of human medical stuff, but at the same time it is so captivating...
NUZdreamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's because I'm a virgin, but talking about that stuff makes me really uncomfortable. It quickly goes from health to sex and for me it's a thing of imtimacy and privacy. It's also really bothering me in friendships, because we have so cool interests we can talk about and then this starts again. I don't talk about how often I shower or shave my armpits, it's just a natural thing we all do, why is this stuff so important to people?
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly find that interesting. You and I are different, and you have boundaries, that's totally chill. However if you and I were in a store and you heard me talking to my boyfriend that I needed to grab pads, or saying "do we need condoms?", would you be outraged? I think that, just like you have every right to not discuss it, I have just as much right to discuss it for not being shamed.
I've been talking opening about how often I shower and shave though since I've started shaving (and showering probably fifth grade? Idk it's never been a secret). Shaving is a standard held to women, so I wouldn't call it "natural" but I feel you. If we do it, why does it matter when/how often? On the same level, so what if we talk about it? Someone new to shaving may want/need to have the conversation but they are too young/shy to bring it up.
PacoTaco321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would have no problem talking about this stuff, I just don't because I hate making people uncomfortable when I am able to.
probablyhrenrai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't give a fuck, either, and I'm a guy. I get that it sucks, but I don't get why it should be an awkward topic.
DroidChargers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if it's just my high school, but most girls here have no problem talking about this in the open.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely your highschool then. When I was a freshman-junior, my high school was pretty open about it. That's where I met the group of guy friends who brought me chocolate or let me use their laptops as a heating pad on my stomach. Went to a different place for senior year... Even the mention, the whisper over a pad, was absolutely unthinkable.
DroidChargers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, you had some nice friends.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am incredibly lucky to have those friends.
aerosol999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My group of friends are way too open with each other but I actually really appreciate it. It makes me much more comfortable with my sexuality. I know all about they're sexual exploits, masturbation habits, and what not and they know about mine.
Kitakk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, I agree with this one most of all.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. These are the replies that get me through the ones that are less than polite.
Marimba_Ani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't whisper. They're wrong (and possibly uneducated). Help them out!
We had a great talk with our kid at the zoo about why we couldn't call a particular monkey "him" until we saw if it had a penis or a vulva. I'm sure other people were all upset, but they're just body parts. Know their names. Teach your kids. Argh.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Being ashamed and squeamish about body parts is such a huge problem because, when issues aren't talked about, they gain more power! I was talking to my boyfriend about the new pads I got, and he was totally comfortable (they are those kind with foam in them. I have a heavy period so it is amazing to go from having a literal mattress between my legs to almost not feeling anything!). People around us, mind you I wasn't even talking loudly, were just looking at him like "wtf where'd you find that trash?" Oops my boyfriend and I have a healthy personal and sexual relationship. Sorry, not sorry?
LastPageofGatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow this one is way stupider than my answer. How is this still taboo to talk about??? I have no problem shopping for or handling tampons/pads etc. I'll even do it for my mom. WTF are peoples' problems? We have to whisper about a thing THAT LITERALLY EVERY WOMAN goes through naturally? Not sure why it pisses me off so much since I'm a guy but still.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of cried when I read this because I've gotten so many guys shitting on me for what I posted, but you totally nailed it. Women are shamed for pretty much everything we do. Periods are already hell. It is something I literally can not help. Why do I need to be shy about it? Why do cashiers (usually men) look at me with pity and quickly hide my pads in the bottom of a bag? Why, when I was buying pads, an asian man saw my pads on the table to be scanned, stepped away from me, put his stuff at the very edge away from me and put a divider between his window cleaner and my pads?
cC2Panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I treat this the same way I treat bowel movements. Just tell me you have to go to the bathroom. That's all I need to know. You don't have to be shy but if I'm in public I'm not gonna start talking about it anymore or louder than need be because strangers don't need to know that some Indian food gives me diarrhea.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I don't go around screaming about my period. I normally try to forget that it's going on because it is such a horrible experience. However if I need to stop by the store, and you ask me why? I'm getting pad/tampons. I get asked a lot why i need to take my bag to the bathroom. Because I need my feminine products. If I suddenly excuse myself from a table and you're like "what even are you okay?" I will say "yeah uh my period just started so gotta take care of that." End of story. I'm pretty sure you're a guy, so I wouldn't go into details unless you asked for information. But when I'm talking to girlfriends (in an appropriate voice level) about periods, and people listen and then give me dirty looks? Or I get weird looks from a cashier? Fuck that.
mrRabblerouser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird to me that those things still freak people out. I have a twin sister, and have always worked with mostly women. I have talked about pretty much every detail of female anatomy at some point or another. I'm more interested to know that those I care about are healthy than being weirded out by something that is completely fucking normal.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much. Literally, same here. I would ask my boyfriend about sexual-health questions (he is the first and only boy I've dated, I normally dated girls, and I was curious) and he was surprised but became more open with me. The same went on about my period, and he would ask me questions about female sexual health. It's like knowledge is enough to make people more curious to be educated, eh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness I never mentioned that one should discuss this over food! But yeah, just like literally anything else, there is an appropriate way to discuss it, and an inappropriate way to discuss it.
CarbonNightmare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it should be taboo, but there is a time and place for mentioning it. When my sisters start talking about their periods I cut them off and explain my last bowel movement in detail, they stop.
KallistiTMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy and I don't get this whatsoever. People have periods, get over it.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex used to openly talk about her periods and I'd ask her about them, was never really awkward or anything, it's just a thing that every woman goes through roughly once a month, it's not a gross or weird thing.
Soapuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family might just be weird, but the discussions we have (especially at the dinner table) eventually will have some aspect of sex or bodily functions mentioned. We don't really get grossed out about it anymore. My parents are very open and didn't want to keep us in the dark about this stuff. Now we joke about sex while we eat dinner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to school in Canada and we talked EXTREMELY openly about this stuff by the time we were 11. We had full blown classes about it, we labeled the penis and vagina on tests, we learned about every single STD, all the different ways to have sex, all the different ways to protect yourself against sex, the different ways that people pressure others to have sex, the myths that are prevalent, etc.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm moving to Canada next month, so this was such a wonderful thing to read.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's pretty decent up here. No public schools are allowed to have a denomination (aka religious affiliation) so if your kid goes to public school he/she will most likely be learning about all this stuff. I'm sure there are areas that are more conservative than others, but I grew up in St. John's, Newfoundland, which isn't exactly a bustling metropolis, and we learned about EVERYTHING.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh gosh, i have a picture from signal hill of St. John's as my wallpaper from when i visited the university. I loved it there. Newfoundland was such a wonderful place to be- I've never been anywhere like it. Yeah when i was in public school, we didnt have a denomination but sex and stuff still was so taboo, i started my period the day we got our period pad packs and got screamed at for opening it before i got home...
psycho_admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on how you do it. A group of 10 middle aged women sitting in the middle of a family establishment loudly talking about the size of their partner's dick, their preferred sexual position, or how heavy their flow was last month isn't the right place or time for that shit.
And no I'm not making that up. When I was a manager of a family restaurant I had to kick out more then a few all women "book" clubs because of shit like that.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking tasteful, voice-level appropriate, conversation. Honestly
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also talking about sex can be really fun. Because honestly, who doesn't love sex?
papersupplier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wear your pads on a necklace!! Get out there and be somebody
sophiatheworst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 5 year old asked me where babies come from. I asked what she thought (which is what my mom pulled on me) and she said "sex?". Wow, I was blown away that she knew! So I asked what she thought sex was "two people get naked and kiss?". Shit, that's pretty close too. I just told her that she was right, but we would talk about it more when she was older and told her not to mention it at school. That said, when she's 9 or 10 we'll talk about that shit all day long if she wants.
Kasta_Fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in highschool many of my friends had code words for pads and tampons so that there was no position of anyone figuring out what they were talking about. The problem was that I never bothered to remember what the code word was, cause I didn't give a shit. When they needed to ask me for an extra pad or tampon, they could barely bring themselves to say it.
I wouldn't advertise that I was on my period, but I didn't care that much. The only annoying thing is that people might bother you about being moody. Like excuse me, but everyone, guy or girl, is a hormonal bitch in high school.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also fun fact: whenever guys get all high-and-mighty and say "you're just a bitch cause you're on you period" or "well, guys have to deal with women on their period, which is worse than cramp pain!" simply remind them that during your period, you have less estrogen in your system, so you're hormone levels are closer to a male's. They "deal" with that for a week? You have to deal with them all the time!
IAmABritishGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole menstruation subject for the majority of guys is still awkward/gross/weird.
As someone who gets on with girls way more than guys I'm used to the subject and couldn't care less if they talk about it with me around or even to me, it's normal and natural.
23yr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recently started my period while I was out with fiancรฉ and daughter at a restaurant during an artwalk in downtown area. No shame and asked every female that walked into the line of said restaurant for a tampon or pad. No shame, it's a NATURAL bodily function.
i_like_tuttles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell yes, if I'm talking about sex in public (which is a lot, haha) if I think someone within earshot could use an education I will go into so much detail and throw in as much sex ed as I can! I always hope I inadvertently answer someone's burning question they were too embarrassed to ask anyone :)
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! I can't stand to hear someone talk about wrong sex facts. This happened in my Law and Justice class (we got off topic a lot) and guy were saying all of this blatantly wrong things about sex and stuff and I jump in with the actual facts. Guess who gets in trouble? Me. Like whoops! Sorry, forgot ignorance is bliss when it comes to the scary, scary vagina.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say rare. I think you have gotten lucky. The responses I have gotten in person and on this thread kind of show how prevalent this is.
malpow13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE the taboo that surrounds this. Like, why the fuck do I feel the need to hide my tampons when I'm heading for the checkout?
Bloodshotistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's absolutely HOT for a woman to talk about her bodily functions concisely and openly to me. It reminds me of when Terry Crews said Basking in the ambiance. It was a running joke between me and my ex.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Due to the way I was raised, it has only been in the past few years that I've gotten over my sexual repression.
Now that I'm over it, I find myself constantly questioning why I was so repressed for so long, and why it was so bad to talk about things that are so right and natural (not to mention DOING certain things eg having sex, and masturbating).
It is so stupid that we are made to feel ashamed for simply being human!
passenger955 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you on this. I think this is even more so the case with people of opposite genders. Like the other day I was talking to my friend and she brought up how a relationship kind of went awry out of nowhere, and it was surprising because earlier that day they were at a sex shop buying toys for later.
I've never really had a girl friend be that candid with me about that sort of stuff before, so it threw me for a second. I realized though that it had no meaning to me outside of the story though. Like I didn't all of a sudden get uncomfortable thinking about the toys and her, or feel that she was sharing too much. It was just something that made sense. Her and her man were doing something that people in relationships do, and then later that night, things weren't so good between the two of them. It meant the same to me as if she said they had bought groceries for them to split.
I got to thinking that that's how it should be. No one in that situation should feel awkward. I would feel bad if she was sharing that story with someone else, and they got uncomfortable, which made her embarrassed. Neither person would be in a good place after that, and that's not how it should be.
electromage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex didn't even let me buy pads for her after being together 5 years because she didn't want to talk about what kind to get.
Testing_The_Theory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need to go to my gp every 3 months so they can renew my prescription for the pill. Their hours are 9am to 5pm.
It's usually not an issue with my manager, she's a woman and gets it. So I get in early, don't take any breaks and leave earlier than normal to make my appointment because I work in the CBD and my doctor is in the far suburbs.
My manager is on leave, so I went to her manager to let him know that I was leaving to go to a doctors appointment.
Him: What's wrong? Nothing bad I hope.
Me: No, just a normal appointment
Him: Are you unwell?
Me: No, just need to get a prescription filled
Him: That sounds serious
Me: Not really, it's for my contraception.
Him: Well then.. Do that then. Yep, do that, uhh your timesheet....doesn't matter you were here early, don't worry about that. Yep, so you do that. What time did you get in? Yep. So just uhhh do that, yep.
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really depends on the culture though. I was in Japan and a lot of this stuff was not taboo at all. I was definitely taken aback more than once, and although I agree with their attitude on it, it definitely took some getting used to.
sumbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree. Especially when it comes to talking about sex. Sometimes I forget that most people find sex talk to be inappropriate and I end up feeling awkward for bringing it up. But what the hell? Everyone at least THINKS about sex so why is it so hard for people to talk about? I find that most of the people who are offended by sex talk are the people who are actually sexually active which honestly doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever.
As for the people who are offended by periods/menstration/PMS/cramps - boggles my mind. I'm a female, this shit happens monthly, so you're likely going to hear me talking about it
jimmyforpresident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and mom have a constant argument about this. Sister wants to put package of pads on toilet head. Makes sense, it's bathroom stuff. We talk about shit and piss all the time but whenever period stuff comes up people get all bothered.
mai_tais_and_yahtzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 5-yr-old got hollered at in day care for playing with his penis and there was another small boy doing the same. They're 5, my kid just learned that he can pull back his foreskin, it's normal. But the day care workers kept hounding him about "who started it?!?" and he got very upset. I was fucking pissed.
Sex is not a taboo subject in my house, I answer any and all questions that my kids have, and I will not have my kids warped by some idiot's idea of what's "proper." Curiosity about one's body is normal (and my pediatrician backs me up on that)
ETA and no I don't think he should just be able to whip it out whenever he feels like it, we're still working on "keeping private parts private", but I won't have him feeling bad for being curious about himself.
metrogdor22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:45 on July 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's a limit to this. Yeah bodily functions are natural, but they're also largely gross. I think it's gross to talk about your period if you wouldn't talk the same way about your poop. Chatting about how heavy your flow was last month is like chatting about juicy your shit was yesterday.
pantofla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are quite a few people who are used to creating images in their minds during a conversation. I'm not one of them but I can understand how it might help them. I'm pretty sure none needs the image of your bleeding vagina in their minds while in their way to lunch... I'm all for any conversation but I understand how some people on the train might not be interested...
QuartrMastr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I just raise my hand in class or as the nearest girls for pads or tampons. I don't give a fuck and they shouldn't either.
In the 8th grade I had to ask quietly. No more of the sneaking around.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ridiculous. Raise my hand in class and say, "Does anyone here need to take a shit because I am about to blow a gasket. Anybody have any two-ply paper I can use?" What in the fuck is the point of asking the whole class? Why would I care about your bloody twat? That just seems immature to me. Hey everybody look at me.
QuartrMastr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well they don't stock pads, tampons or menstrual cups in the school bathrooms, do they?
folderol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:59:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't know unless someone like you raised your hand in class to announce that they did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I dunno, depends who you are friends with I guess. My lady friends couldn't give less of a shit if anyone is offended about anything they talk about regarding this. Not like they talk about it all the time but if it comes up: no hesitation. New people who meet us who get offended that easily don't become friends, suddenly we have only a large group that doesn't care about taboo subjects. No longer taboo. In public or not (within reason of course, not like we're going into gruesome details around children and your mom hell bent on being Hitler the Edgemaster 4000 hell bent on the destruction of common sense-(common)decency))
I don't think there is really any other way to make something normal other than just treating it as normal day to day, and if you do that in general as a rule, you become friends with some really interesting people over time as I've found out.
I went from conservative christian kid with the expected pre-set views... to roommates with gay friend into way out there fetishes, furry fan who also is very into hardcore punk and very into collecting retro video games, and a person of e-sports fame. Past room mate refused to sleep on beds to the point of not owning one, very into martial arts, and my "I don't care if its 9am lets buy a 2 liter jug of beer each and chug that in the backyard and then go from there guy" just together talking about nothing..no need of a party. He has an Abe-Lincoln beard and wears a green kilt to work where he washes windows among other odd jobs. That is just an extremely basic description. Through them I've met a boat load of quirky people. Sociables with this group btw, is as insane as you'd imagine.
HazMat68W ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After a year of trying to conceive and (finally) having success, I've definitely become a lot more comfortable talking about all this. And thanks to those "Trying" subs as well. It sucks when I want to discuss this stuff with other people and they think I'm a weird-o.
PolloLocooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes like to shove those topics down people's throat as a way of pushing their boundaries because I think society should be able to talk about those things. Sometimes I feel tempted to say something really "ridiculous", like talk about my last masturbation experience but I haven't done it because I think people can't deal with it. I'm working on it though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PolloLocooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling that that attitude would differ depending on the assumed gender. But maybe not.
amightymapleleaf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:29:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you.
fractalfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Why the hell are we so embarrassed by something that almost half the world experiences?
emptywords18 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:10:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's a normal bodily function why do you need to "educate" about it in the first place. Do you just talk about your sex life or sexual health with strangers and people you just met? That's what friends are for and I've never seen or heard of a situation where it's taboo to discuss those things with friends.
Shaysdays ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:35:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because there's a metric shit-ton of misinformation out there. There are grown men and women who believe women pee out of their vaginal hole. Or that periods are like, cups of blood just spilling out. (Or conversely, that women can hold their period like they do their pee.)
If someone is misinformed, I'm gonna help them out, same as if they said that identical twins have the same fingerprints or the Magna Carta was written in French.
Most of the time when I'm discussing period stuff, it's in response to dudes asking questions or making statements, oddly enough.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:45:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have had a (now no longer) friend of mine get mad at me for discussing things of sexual nature in a public place. We, a group of four or five frat guys, were eating lunch, and discussing things like who we were hoooking up with. The discussion got a little bit crude, but it wasn't disrespectful to women, or anything, nor were there any kids around. He just got offended that we would talk about it in a public place where a woman, the more delicate sex, might hear. That's just fucking stupid.
HazMat68W ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes a lot of people (including friends) uncomfortable, depending on their level of experience with the topic.
For instance, I spend a year trying to have a baby and learned a lot about my body that they just dont teach in schools (and should) and people just dont know unless they have to go through trying as well. When I've tried to talk about it with friends (male or female) even ones in the medical field, they get cringie.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, save those conversations for friends, and even then some friends don't care to listen about your menstruation cycle. It's like having someone come over and start talking about their poop in detail. Somethings are just gross and not everyone wants to put it out in the open. I for one don't consider any of it taboo, but that doesn't mean I want to go hang out with my friends and talk about vaginal discharge while we're having dinner, or how their nipples are sore and leaking after sex while breastfeeding. I also don't want to hear about my guy friends cum shots or stupendous stools. Some things are just gross.
EDIT :Words I need to learn to fucking proof read.
PM_YOUR_WALLPAPER ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:40:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well periods, to me, are like pooping. Yes you can talk about it, but it isn't something I care to hear about.
unlimitedanna ยท 2235 points ยท Posted at 15:12:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not talking to your close family.
Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb IMO.
[deleted] ยท 1360 points ยท Posted at 18:27:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sucks when people butt into your life and are like "but he's your FATHER!"
I'm sorry, but do you know FUCK ALL about my relationship with my father? No? Well then maybe you should shut the fuck up about it.
Mspeck1986 ยท 966 points ยท Posted at 19:45:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you ever talk with your birth parents/siblings?"
"Nope."
"Oh, why not? Don't you want to talk to them? They are your family."
"If they were your family, you wouldn't talk to them either."
uncomfortable silence
nomorechocolatebars ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 23:08:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to start using that.
Disgruntled_moose ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:47:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get a nice opportunity for comedy in this conversation since my birth parents were terrible people and died when I was an infant.
Mspeck1986 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:31:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an truly impressive way to find a silver lining.
frogamic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:20:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way that asking "why not" can end well in that conversation. There's either an unfortunate circumstance or they're dead.
Mspeck1986 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so tempting to just make up stuff so they quit asking about it.
I'm a fairly curious person and I try not to intrude but I do get why people ask but jeez does it get old quick.
cheatatjoes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:06:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be like that, as I'm super close with my family. I was astonished when my ex told me that he didn't talk to his family much. I thought he was just being an ass.
Then I met his family, and everything made sense. And then I told my mom about it, and my mom made extra sure that he always got gifts from them on holidays, and threw us a huge going away party when we moved cross country (compared to his own parents who did jack shit but make him feel guilty for moving).
I had a kind of passive acceptance of his parents being assholes until they decided to include me in their assiness. I helped out during a wake of one of the grandparents, always made effort to stop by when I was in their part of the state, and genuinely tried to connect with them.
Then his dad once asked if I was his "roommate" (we'd been together a few years at that point). After that, I never made any extra effort to try and find the good in those people. They treated their son like shit, and he had every right to not talk to them.
Mspeck1986 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It honestly goes both ways too. For the longest time, I didn't understand that there were in fact, biological families out there who were all happy, decent people who communicated with one another willingly and happily about important issues and solved problems together.
But it sounds like you did the best possible thing you and your family could have and really understand what these people were like once you saw them in action, so kudos to you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I wrong in assuming you're a man and this factored into the I'll treatment?
cheatatjoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God fucking damn that's irritating to hear (that they treated you guys badly for that).
As a sidenote I feel accomplished that I picked up on that subtext.
tokengayfriend ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:17:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS. people have no idea what they are talking about
Mspeck1986 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do my best to not get frustrated with people but it's amazing how some don't ever try to even accept that other people have different sorts of family structures.
It's like trying to explain '1+1=2' to someone in a different room wearing headphones and a blindfold.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gotta_Ketcham_All ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's one iteration of what I usually say. I can tell people want to push it, and I can also tell they know better than to do so.
FF3LockeZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Typically that gets followed with lots of probing follow-up questions about the nitty-gritty details, not uncomfortable silence, unfortunately. It makes people too curious.
I don't really have a good reason. I just was never close to my brother. There was no event that triggered it, but we haven't really talked since we were about 11/12 years old. People think that's way weirder than if we were distant because he slept with my girlfriend or I stole money from him or something.
Mspeck1986 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got relatives like that and it would so much easier to lie or make something up instead of trying to explain it.
'Oh, do you see so-and-so much?'
'We don't really talk to them.'
'Really?'
Nope, I'm a filthy liar and we get together for BBQ and golf every weekend.
wellitsbouttime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why is that silence uncomfortable? A big point has just been made, and the other person is digesting it.
Mspeck1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually only uncomfortable if they try to convince me in that 'they're family, you should love them!' way without knowing the details as opposed to someone asking to understand the situation.
If they try to use the 'doesn't matter what happened, they share the same DNA you have to love them', the uncomfortable silence is pretty inevitable.
wellitsbouttime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
then the silence is totally ok right? It's when they open up their mouth that things become awkward. If I lay down a very important truth on anything, I expect there to be silence as the person considers it.
Mspeck1986 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine then. It's the difference between trying to tell someone you have a headache after hitting your head and them asking why and offering you an aspirin vs. them denying the headache exists and that you should eat more seafood.
There's better metaphors out there but it's the best I can do right now.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually you don't really knock that. Because you are you based on your situational learning and experiences. But they might very well be a different person based on the same things. So maybe they would.
The typical counter to anyone saying they don't want to interact with their family is that if they spent as much time repairing relationships as they did bitching about them that they'd be happier.
Zerak_Kyria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got the stage in life where you need to go to university. I tell everyone I want to go to this place 2 states away and everyone's like why? They just don't understand that I enjoy being away/not in contact with my family
You have my empathy.
Karl_Marx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually really enjoy the company of my parents, and I still rarely talk to them. I do live elsewhere though.
Dollar_Bhillz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:41:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Proceeds to sensually dance
frictionqt ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 01:01:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tips fedora
BalefireX ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:30:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, because everyone who has dislikable family members is obviously a fedora wearing neckbearded atheist, amirite? Fuck off.
frictionqt ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 02:40:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the fuck you talking about dumb fuck
i was talking about the edgy comment
Lord_Iggy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was under the impression that sarcastic fedora tipping implied that the person being responded to was acting like a fedora.
Vanetia ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:38:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I get that in regards to my mother.
"But she gave life to you!"
And then she beat it out of me. What's your fucking point?
frogamic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Considering that giving life to someone can take less thought than making toast in the morning that doesn't mean much
XzaylerHW ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:46:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They usually have "normal fathers". This lack of want to communicate usually is the parents' fault not the child's
brorager ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:19:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIGHT. especially those who keep asking when I'll forgive them, 'cause I just know it will change everything'. Man, fuck off.
Internet hugs
JedLeland ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a therapist once who pulled that when I told her about my resentment toward my mother. I did not have that therapist much longer.
CSPshala ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:55:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it.
amedeus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:51:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still can't believe that people who know my mother and agree with me on all points about her still say, "But she's your mother!" when they hear that I've shut her out of my life. Like damn, I didn't choose the woman, why should I be stuck with crazy for life?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that you're supposed to automatically love people because you happen to be blood related to them. Why? You know, there are people who say stuff like "Oh, he's an asshole but he's my cousin so I have to love him". Uh, no you don't. If he's a piece of shit then you are not obligated to love him. Some people have the idea that if you had to save the life of an acquaintance who you know to be a good person, or a family member who's a downright shitty excuse for a human being, then you have to choose your family member just because. Fuck that. This isn't a personal rant, I can't think of any family members that I really don't like, but I don't think I should be obligated to love or like them.
randomlex ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:57:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So, how's your father doing?"
"Dunno, I haven't talked to him in a few years"
Cue the most annoying stares ever...
awefkjewa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:41:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could just say "he's fine" and that would stop the annoying stares at least.
randomlex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then they want details
thebochman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Cuz I'm your father!" That phrase has been repeated time after time to me and my dad has been trying to keep me on a leash and have fearful respect of him the way his dad did to him, but I refuse to be a part of the chain
shelly12345678 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:20:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RIGHT??
SparklingW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He's your father!" "I didn't choose him to be did I?"
fatherjokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In their defense, your father is a really nice guy.
angrysalvadoran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After knowing him for 3 minutes.... not knowing who he really is.
mybeautifulhooves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have this exact problem with my sister. She's a damn moron and is making all these dumb decisions. I'm 1500 miles away with my own career. Butt out.
VealIsNotAVegetable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find the phrase "Look, if I wanted to be constantly shat upon, I'd go film Dutch porn" brings that conversation to a close quickly.
Golden_Phi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen my biodad since I was a toddler, he moved to the other side of the country when my mom and him divorced and he doesn't send any money to help despite the fact that he's legally obligated to. I also have two half brothers that I have only seen when I was a small child and I don't know where they are. I can't say I care for any of them. One time when leaving my grandma's house he called (probably demanding money from her), me, my mom, and my siblings all left without caring.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Some fathers do not earn the love of their sons." -Herschel Greene, TWD
Yep. Now, I love my dad. My dad is the bomb. However, replace those nouns with their female equivalents, and you have my response to anyone who thinks they're being reasonable.
wemlin14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the movie "Into the Wild," the main character keeps getting asked if he plans on returning to his parents or if his family knows that he's doing a cross-country hike to Alaska. He never answers a single one of them. I found it annoying. He was abused by his dad and his mother was practically beaten into submission, but he never explains this. He just lets people keep thinking that he left a family that loves him more than the world and would die to get him back. He never tells any of the people he meets that he's running away, just that he's on a trip.
KittyHammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, would you speak to your father if her inserted objects into your anus and told you that you were a pretty girl even though you are a boy?
Got to be creative in these answers.
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if youve had a horrible relationship or falling out with a family member. Just cuz theyre your parents doesn't mean they love you. A lot of parents are horrible, neglectful people who see their children as burdens or whatever. Why should people who've been victim of assholes have to be pressured to forgive their abusers?
traversecity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, some of us learned the hard way to run away from our parents. OK to harbor love for them , but i'll stay on the other side of the continent thank you vwry much.
amdnivram ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
all being your father means is he can regret having you or making that fateful mistake
soulassassino ยท 874 points ยท Posted at 17:16:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Love and respect has to be earned, it's no one's right, family relation included.
Edit: Basic human respect is an exception of course, I felt the need to clarify that.
chadstein ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 22:46:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People should also remember that love and respect can be lost, family relation included.
Bloodshotistic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy who got disowned twice, I completely understand
NotSoLittleJohn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:22:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go for the hat trick!
Buey95 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:23:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to respect everyone unless they give me a reason not to.
soulassassino ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:36:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I meant more than basic level of respect every human being deserves to be precise.
jakegb123 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good save
kjata ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:16:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Family has a bit of a foot in the door if you're lucky, since often your family is the group of people that understands you best. But if they've lived with you for years and still can't figure you out? Well, you've probably given them more chances than anyone else by then, and the only way that works is if they (or you) don't even try.
KittyHammer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:49:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse when they encourage you to open up only to prove to you why you shouldn't.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlueEyedGreySkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As one of those depressed 20-somethings, I can tell you from this post your attitude is all wrong. Maybe I'm projecting, but I can tell why people like us stay away from family that "keeps trying".
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:38:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. 100%. This divine right of (especially) parents to rule over children without mutual respect tends to fuel "keep it in the family" attitudes too. People wonder why they never notice abuse going on in a family unit when they were the same kind of people who would say something as asinine as "keep it in the family" when a child tries to air a dispute with their elders.
Children can be little cunt nuggets for sure but if they're never given respect I see shit all why they should respect you, or how they would even learn what being respectful is. They didn't ask to be born, they don't owe you their flesh, they're not responsible for feeding your egoism. Having a child is your responsibility alone.
Sorry about the vitriol. Not directed at you. I just hate it when older people act so entitled to respect when they legit just don't give a fuck about anyone else. Yes I live in the UK yes I hate the Tories.
_Calochortus_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:39:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To each their own. My person credo re: this subject goes along the way of:
You all start out with my full respect. After that, you can choose keep it that way, or you can choose to lose it. It's up to you.
soulassassino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I observe something similar myself, I respect everyone until proven otherwise. Flawed phrasing in this regard, I should have said both can be rightfully lost.
Maybe not fully, as I have degrees of respect for a random stranger and someone who's merits and flaws I'm aware of, but yoi get the idea.
ssnistfajen ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:15:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of Asian kids often endure years of emotional abuse (and physical abuse in some cases) yet parents expect them to maintain absolute filial piety. The Confucian school of thought can go to hell for all I care.
Alabestar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basic courtesies must be observed of course, it would be arrogant to presume people beneath basic respect simply because they haven't 'earned it' yet.
soulassassino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agree with you, my phrasing is a bit flawed as it doesn't convey this.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
so much this, holy crap.
spyker54 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when we were having a family get-together for new years on my dad's side of the family. I normally have respect for my elders, but funny how a couple of racial remarks about blacks from a granfather can have the opposite effect
acejohn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally disagree but that's not an awful opinion by any means.
sibeliushelp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:48:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is classless. You should respect others by default until they do something to lose it. Even complete strangers. It costs you nothing.
soulassassino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to clarify, as of course I do believe that every human being deserves a certain degree of respect until proven otherwise.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Respect is given until breached. Love is given through natural factor.
Jules- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely adore you for this comment. <3
soulassassino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure why I deserve it but thank you. :)
lets-start-a-riot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have earned his love and respect. So now you are both family (its that how it works right?)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blood of my blood
Camzaman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. My brother recently did something fucked up and left the house, which was ok, but he then proceeded to ignore my parents completely. They were initially a bit uneasy about kicking him out, but now he's basically just a stranger.
We had no intentions of just shutting him out - he did it to himself by failing to show respect when he was the one who fucked up in the first place. I guess he just assumed my parents would go begging to his feet to come back.
NecroticFury ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you kick someone out, don't expect to continue your relationship with them. Your parents essentially lost a son. He probably feels affronted and left for that reason.
BlueEyedGreySkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He did it to himself" is something I see a lot from families of depressed individuals..... Hmm wonder if there's something in common there.
Camzaman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Alright, full story then.
My mother did something wrong and essentially almost flooded part of the house. What had happened is that we had recently had electricians at the house sorting out the lighting and making sure the plug sockets were working in our extension. My parents have a jacuzzi shower which needs to be plugged into the electrics to work well, and thus had to be unplugged when the electricians were working on the electrics. They had also unplugged the water pipe connecting the plug to the pipes, meaning any water going into the plug would go all over the floor. And it did. And it soaked into downstairs where there is a LOT of cables due to lighting. She didn't realise until she could literally see the water in the room, and it was a bit too late.
Dad was obviously pissed, I was just about getting ready to go out with some friends to the pub and my brother was doing stuff on his computer. Mother then proceeds to get shouted at by my dad, yes she did something wrong, but she didn't mean it. So I told him to back off.
My brother had a different plan though. He decided it would be a brilliant idea to go up behind my dad with a hammer, gesturing to hit him in the back of the head with the blunt side RIGHT in front of me. I thought "holy shit he's going to kill him", tackled my brother, disarmed him but in the process he swung the hammer right at my face, scarring my lip with quite a gnarly scar. And it's unde-fucking-batable that he swung at me, because there was blood on my fucking upper left lens of my glasses when he hit me above the right corner of my lip.
So not only did he, seemingly, try to kill my dad he swung at me and gave me a nasty scar. He also did some other shit which drove my parents bat-shit fucking insane (stealing, lying, being a dick, shifting his way out of rent and being a lazy twat). Since then he has completely ignored my parents and gone insane at his job because "he thought his little 16 y/o brother died in a car accident". Bullshit. The fucker could have rang me and I would have answered.
So yes. He bought it upon himself by taking the respect he had for granted.
EDIT: Also, that night he basically drove off to think about stuff. He didn't come back that night and my parents made the decision that if he comes back, he is a tenant - not there as their son.
NecroticFury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow nice pointer. Why do you think that happens? I doubt all these people are really "doing" it to themselves.
caitsith01 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:08:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would have done poorly in hunter gatherer times. There's a reason families stick together.
Multi_Grain_Cheerios ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:46:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he will remember that next time he's out trying to kill think with a spear.
caitsith01 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, well it kinda continues today. Life is much easier if there is a small group of people who will stick their neck out for you regardless of whether they 'like' you at a given point in time. Families support each other with shelter, food, money, helping to find work, education opportunities, etc.
Life is much easier when someone shelters you, feeds you, gets you a decent education, and helps you out with money while you get started. They might turn out to be someone you wouldn't be friends with but there's a reciprocity to the relationship which can't be ignored.
We might not be getting killed by sabre tooth tigers but the principle is pretty much the same.
Multi_Grain_Cheerios ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's not saying you have to throw people away for no reason. I have an uncle that I wouldn't piss on if he was on fire. I love my parents just like most people but thats because they were good parents. If they were shit parents I would try my best to get away from them. Also, shit parents wouldn't really do a good job of doing any of the things you listed.
His point was that many people will judge you harshly even if you choose not to associate with your parents because they suck.
In reality, what he is getting at isn't against what you are saying anyway. Avoid shitty people regardless of blood. Let good people in regardless of blood. I consider many of my friends family.
StLevity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life is so much easier when you never try to look at life from someone else's viewpoint. The life you lived is not the same as the one I did. Don't try to push your useless philosophical bullshit on me. I got out of a house that was working to keep me angry, depressed, and full of anxiety at every waking hour, and all I ever get is either fake concern or people telling me to try to forgive my father and work to rebuild our relationship.
Since before I was in grade school I already knew I never wanted children, because I didn't want to be the kind of father he was, and I was scared shitless that I would be. Do you know what it's like to have massive anxiety every second of your waking life? Do you know what it's like for the sound of footsteps to cause an adrenaline rush? Has it ever torn your heart out to see your friend hanging out with their dad having a good time?
Do you know what it's like to be the class clown, because if you weren't laughing and making jokes you'd break down? Were you ever at the point where you were so emotionally dead inside that you hurt people you cared about and didn't feel a thing? Have you ever had the mantra "I will never be you." as the only thing keeping you going? Have you ever failed to live up to that mantra and considered whether you were a monster too? Has your best friend of 5 years ever told you that they'd just realized they knew nothing about you?
Thanks for paying for my college dad.
soulassassino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not against anything and everything however. Love, even for family is not a right, and it's sure as hell something that can be lost.
GinervaPotter ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:45:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because she birthed me doesn't mean she was nice to me.
kpyle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:21:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is the most annoying person I ever met. She never shuts up. I'd call her more if it didn't feel like it was a one way conversation. My dad on the other hand is completely comfortable sitting in the room together in silence. A few comments back and forth and that's it. Its no wonder they got divorced.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nexted ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:32:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever thought to just ask them why?
dnddaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically similar for me. Call my mom, I can't get her to shut up. Call my dad, we're caught up in five seconds and chilling in silence.
LasigArpanet ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:38:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I feel like friendships tend to take a backseat with expressions like this and others.
But friendships are incredibly important too! Sometimes even more so, not everyone has a great home life. Friends are the people you choose to have in your life. It's not by happen stance. Sometimes those bonds are just as strong, or stronger, than any family ties.
Edit: This quote nails it.
atlgeek007 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:22:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once my maternal grandfather passes, I'm dropping the mic and saying "peace out" to my family.
tha_dank ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:06:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you must really love your grandfather.
atlgeek007 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:10:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He (and my grandmother) took me in from a drug using, partygoing mother when I was very little and raised me like one of their own.
My grandmother passed in 1997, my mother passed away last month.
tha_dank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ahh damn that sucks to hear :( make sure you spend some good time with gramps, he sounds like the right kind of person to have in your life.
atlgeek007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, as much as I can.
And don't me wrong, I do love my family. I just don't think that familial bonds are worth the absolute hassle of putting up with a group of people who you are diametrically the opposite of, both politically and spiritually.
the_chandler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what I did. I was raised by my maternal grandmother. After she passed away, I cut ties with the majority of my family, (everyone except my mother's sister). I haven't spoken to my mother or brother in over three years and couldn't be happier with my decision.
Toadxx ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:15:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I ever hear from my sister, it will be too soon. I wholeheartedly agree.
rosiedoes ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:58:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. The next person to tell me I should speak to the abusive mother who kicked me out 15 years ago can fuck the fuck off or be fucked the fuck up.
cinderspritzer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:28:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This speaks to my very being. My mother's side of the family is a toxic hurricane. Fuck those people.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:51:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sanitizing comment history.
sasquatch90 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:07:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't choose your relatives but you can choose your family.
CatholicAlternate ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:37:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people think the meaning of that statement is backwards. How they construe marriage from water is beyond me, though.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:28:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. and I don't even have a problem with my family, just talking to them isn't really a priority. most of the time it's just gossip about other family members bad decisions or drama anyway. just last night in fact, my gf was mind boggled that I hadn't talked to my mom in over two weeks, and I haven't seen her in probably a month even though we live in the same city.
Vandechoz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh yeah, I feel like I don't have a socially legitimate excuse to avoid my family because they aren't a bunch of narcissistic child beaters. But I just don't really relate to them. Why is that such a bad thing?
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:22:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
thegargman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:16:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a source on this?
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 19:24:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
garrettcolas ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 20:02:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will say to you what I would say to that dude. You care way too much and everyone else just thought it made more sense that the people you choose to be in your life would have a stronger bond than sometimes shitty family members.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:19:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol, 'care too much?' All I did was copy/paste some other dude's post... I actually agree with the sentiment behind 'blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb', I just wanted to correct the guy on his mistake. This is reddit, after all.
garrettcolas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:39:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I cared enough to post that you cared enough. So don't listen to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sweat it, man :)
saltyseahag69 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:58:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i just hate that factoid a lot, man
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, someone actually used "factoid" correctly.
saltyseahag69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fun fact, i only know how to use it because someone pointed out i was using it incorrectly in a different askreddit thread
PrincessBukowski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, but why are you assuming you know shit all about these guys' relationships based on the fact that they like internet mythbusting? That kind of fallacious logical leap seems like the thing that both interpretations of that saying are against.
garrettcolas ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I'm bored.
anonymous_chupacabra ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:41:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They say you can't choose your family but I 100% did.
HANDS-DOWN ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:27:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maple syrup is even thicker.
whiskeyislove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. My dad is a selfish prick, therefore I do not consider him family.
Anolis_Gaming ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cut off my entire family except 1 cousin on Facebook and i see my grandma occasionally. The rest can go eat a bag of dicks.
-Mannequin- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family isn't very close, though they like to pretend we are. My sister lives next door, and I can go weeks without talking to her. People think that's weird. I don't hate her, just don't want to have to visit everyday, make small talk, and drink coffee.
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I have a half sister in CA who I don't talk to anymore and I don't give a fuck if we're related or not. My Dad passed away last year and she didn't come out for the funeral because she was flying out to see some shit head she was dating instead, and the guy ended up cheating on her anyways. She didn't call to talk to us, she text me to say she couldn't make it. Fuck her, I don't care to ever speak to her again and neither does the rest of the family. Just because someone is close family, doesn't mean they can do whatever they want without any consequences.
RUBY_FELL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to detract from your point, which I think is a great one, but I was sad to learn, "Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" is not really the origin of "Blood is thicker than water". It should be, though. It should be.
Also, not assuming you didn't know that already, or trying to correct you for using it. I think we need to keep using it until that is the saying.
LargeHardonInsideHer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Six years and counting not talking to my eldest sister. If I never speak to her or see her for the rest of my life that would be superb. I wish her no ill health simply because I wouldn't want my father or other siblings to be upset. However, when I found out she had severe IBS I enjoyed a good laugh - the self entitled overly roundly invertebrate jelly that she has become
smokemonmast3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that this is the actual phrase. I always get a chuckle when someone tries to tell me that "Blood is thicker than water"
TryAgainName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" makes so much more sense than "blood is thicker than water" to me.
wyrdfell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it really weird that if someone has been abused by a parent, people expect them to want to keep in contact. I have seen this and it blows my mind. Why would anyone want to keep in contact with their abuser? Completely mental.
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/parentlessbychoice
Sometimes, it's for the best
silvercyanide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's almost exactly what the phrase was intended to mean. It was that the blood that you shared on the battlefield with friends was thicker that the water you shared with your family at home.
angrysalvadoran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when people use this quote incorrectly. They say "blood is thicker than water" in an attempt to value family over friends... But I'm too lazy to correct them.
ColonelScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood the obsession that most cultures have with family. My parents tell me all the time that I need to make amends with my sister because we're siblings, but I have no intention of ever attempting to have a relationship with her. She's a cruel, selfish person who does nothing but attack me for my religious beliefs, sexual orientation, and anything else she can think of "wrong" with me. If she matures beyond this, I might be able to forgive her, but I would still have no desire to be close to her.
marine50325 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Family is the default, friends you get to choose.
KallistiTMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, you used the saying properly. I would give you gold if I were not a poor man.
oden619 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I talk to my friends on skype who live a good bit away from me more than my entire family in my house put together for any given day. And I literally never speak to cousins/aunts/ etc or anything like that. Not because I particularly dislike them or anything, but I don't feel the need to communicate with someone just for the sake of it. If we had similar interests or hobbies, you know reasons you go out and make friends with other people in the first place then maybe. I just don't get socializing with people just because you share a portion of your DNA with them. Who the fuck cares? You're boring I don't want to talk to you.
magadorspartacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The most important person in my life told me recently that he's decided to distance himself from his mother and stepfather. He said that he's realized that he often feels bad about himself when he's around them. Combining that with the crappy way he was raised, I don't blame him one bit. I am proud that he's been able to make that decision.
flyingseel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriends mom gets on me about this kinda shit because my brother is a total fuck that has done some bad shit. I do not like him. She always says "yeah but he's family you have to love him". Um, no I don't. Where is this law that says I'm obligated to love someone just because we share parents and lived together?
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. It's a cold hard day when you realize your parents are just shitty people trying to survive, just like you are.
kungfukai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is one thing I wish my mother would get over.
Every time we have relatives coming over to visit she'll keep on insisting that I need to talk to them and not be rude, even though I'm not interested in them at all.
Like I'm not an asshole who completely ignores them if they say 'hi', but I'm not going to go out of my way and drop what I'm doing to talk to them because we have literally nothing in common.
There's a reason why I put the importance of my close friends over my immediate family.
Whenever there's a gathering held by relatives and I decline to go because I have better things to do, she'll try to guilt trip me by saying "But they're your family, you're meant to go".
Dizthelasthope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to ask, what does
Mean?
CrakAndJaxter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's side of the family is NOTORIOUS for making a big deal out of someone not keeping in touch. If someone doesn't call just to chat for a few days, they get pissy with each other.
Funny thing is, each and every one of them complain to each other about having to always keep everyone updated on every single thing happening in their lives...
TheKingOfToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The true meaning of the phrase "Blood is thicker then water"
It actually means the exact opposite of what most people use it for.
blanketswithsmallpox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quit saying that, it's not true. Just use "but so is shit".
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/2wr031/til_that_the_saying_blood_is_thicker_than_water/cotrxrq
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always called my stepdad "Dad" because he acted as a father figure since I was 2. I met my half-brother (from my biological father's side) for the first time a few years ago and he got pissed that I never called my biological father "Dad". That mother fucker never wanted a single thing to do with me. I have absolutely no reason to even consider him related to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear I only want my parents & siblings at my wedding in addition to my friends. I may be an asshole but I really don't care about my extended family. No one makes any attempt to be close or talk so Christmases are always awkward. I don't want that shit at my wedding. I'm not even close to becoming engaged but this is something I think about.
Sambaloney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you used that phrase right, even thought you were using it contrary to what most people think it means.
King_of_the_Hobos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're like the only person I've ever seen use the whole thing and therefore correctly
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a daughter who was physically and emotionally abused while also neglected, I appreciate this post so much. I have PTSD from how my mother treated me, and two of my sisters refuse to talk to me because I can't get over the "normal family tensions." I don't care if she is my mother. She gave up that title when she beat me for "breathing the wrong way."
Euchre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blood isn't thicker than water, it just stains and carries more diseases.
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom's family is close and always up in each others issues, while my dad's family rarely interacts and everyone just does their own thing. My brother and I have my dad's personality when it comes to family, and my mom hates it. Although she disapproves of the aloofness of my dad's family, she never says anything to my dad, but she certainly does not hesitate to guilt-trip my brother and I for not being like her.
mineralcraver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree. My parents booted me from my home at a young (before it's acceptable to do so in my country) age and was homeless for about a year until a friend took me in. Now that I've made my own life and people ask me why I'm not close with my family it's like "Well they don't want to be close to me either..."
kobefamwake7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live in a town with both my parents in it for the first 14 years of my life for my parents together about the first 7. My dad was a fairly hardcore alcoholic and so he didn't have a huge role in my life. I moved about an hour away and still was in contact with my dad and would visit him every once in a while and I still have friends there so I like to see them too. For father's day, I decided it would be a good idea to suggest to my dad that he seek some help for his alcoholism. He didn't react well to it, so the past few times I've visited, I've stayed at friend's houses instead of crashing at his place. I've pretty much decided I'm done with my dad unless he decides to reach out to me, as I've already done all that I can. But my friend's still ask me if I'm staying at his house or if I've seen him and I wish I didn't feel like an asshole when I said no.
Sorry for the wall of text, needed to get that out.
scottiepooh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's annoying getting the comment along the lines of "but that's the only brother/mother/father you have. That's important!" Um, not really. Why is it perfectly okay to shy away from somebody generally recognized as a loathsome asshole, but suddenly it's taboo if that loathsome asshole happens to be related to you?
"But family is the most important thing in life." Really? What if you lived in a family of thieves, rapists, and murderers? You're still supposed to defend their actions, or stand by them in some way? No, that's fucking retarded.
mib_sum1ls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Props for using this phrase correctly.
markitron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom seems incapable of understanding this. She's a great lady, but honestly I could go weeks without talking to her and be perfectly fine/happy, but alas... if I fail to make contact with her every 24 hours she thinks the Russian mafia has abducted me and starts calling every 20 minutes until I answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad that I don't want to spend time with my close family because they haven't done anything wrong. My parents are great, but I would just rather spend time around someone else. The way I feel about it is that I chose my friends because I actually like them, but I just happened to be born into relation with my family.
KittyHammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I relate with this.
Just because we are connected by blood does not mean we are connected by hearts.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I moved interstate three years ago to distance myself from my bio fam. I've cut way back on the amount of times I speak to them over the phone, and only go back to visit them once or twice a year.
Why? Because I don't like the way they treat me. They don't show me any respect, and still try to treat me like I'm a child or something.
When I was growing up, I was constantly belittled by them, and my dad occasionally physically abused me (hit me to the point where I had welts on my back, or dragged me through the house by my hair or arm or whatever he could grab, that sort of thing). Apparently my father beating me was my fault, because I pushed his buttons.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers/High Functioning Autism when I was 23, so all those times that I was 'misbehaving'/'being disrespectful' etc...?! Yeah...
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The most fun bit, though, is when I get asked what my family is up to. I tell them that I don't know, because I don't really talk to them all that much. Boy, do I get some funny looks...
...but not as many as I get when I let them know what my 'brother' has been doing. I have a really good friend whom I have known since I was 14 or 15, and I refer to him as my brother. I have since fairly early on in our friendship, as has he called me his little sister. We get each other. His bio fam are even more sucky than mine, so we 'adopted' each other. Trying to explain that to people is always so difficult... they just can't wrap their heads around it. I would have thought that it was an easy enough concept to understand!
Mattosity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally, but that's not the real phrase.
jacq_willow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We leave that just for Christmas, Easter and birthdays. Any sooner and we would run out of things to talk about.
pm_me_for_happiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck not getting publicly stoned if you say this here in Asia
MrAmishJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've spent so much of my adult life tied down by the burdens of my family. That may sound harsh but if you knew you'd understand. There are many unhealthy relationships and honestly I'm feeling basically mentally abused in life and I've stuck around so long because, family, mother, whatever. I've let it destroy me and I'm working my exit plan out now.
TadKosciuszko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had gold I would give it to you. I hate when people use the phrase "blood is thicker than water" wrong
Gyunda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Know that problem. When i told my friend about the behaviour of my grandfather which nearly caused me to kill myself she said i shouldn' speak bad of him. I answered " would you still say that if my grandfather was hitler?"
SinNominae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people find out I haven't spoken to my mother in five years, that's their reaction -- "But she's your mother!" Yeah so? Just because she gave birth to me doesn't mean she's a good person who I need in my life.
Skullhunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have some family members that are complete dickholes. I draw a distinction between "relatives", ie people that I happen to share blood with, and "family" that are the people that actually matter. Some of my friends are more family than say, my mums sister that's a total a-hole.
stelliokonto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I had an ex girlfriend that couldn't believe I could just go a few weeks without talking to my parents or siblings. I lived in a tiny house of 6 people for 18 years of my life (I'm the oldest). I like my space and time from my family! This does not mean I hate or don't love them!
Go_Eagles_Go ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't talk to family? You're a monster..:.... Never take family for granted
Joomes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By the way, that phrase you're using is not the original one, no matter how much Reddit likes to circlejerk it.
The 'blood of the covenant' interpretation for the phrase isn't more than 20 or so years old. The phrase 'blood is thicker than water' with no additions is found in writings from 1737 or earlier. Similarly the phrase 'blood of the covenant' is found in the King James Bible, so it dates to at least 1611. There is no evidence of the full phrase you're referencing being used prior to 1994, by Richard Pustelniak.
spacey_stacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, fucking yes.
I'm seventeen and a huge introvert. I hate talking to people or going places, but I'm always being dragged out of my room to socialize.
"Dad, I don't like talking to people."
"I'm not people, I'm your father. It should be different."
The part of my kind that makes me an introvert doesn't give a flying fuck who you are.
Gl33m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to help stop the spread of the improper origins of that phrase, I'm posting this. I'm not disagreeing with you. In fact, I completely agree with you. That phrase is just constantly misused thanks to a Cracked.com article.
Original post
antoninj ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:15:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yay! someone knows the full quote.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The most awkward part is when you tell someone the reason why you don't speak to some of your family and then it gets super awkward. Why would someone even bring it up? I've never understood that lol.
psycho-logical ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:41:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's important to have your SO's back in family matters. Because while blood is thicker than water, cum is thicker than blood.
hddrummer ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for using that phrase correctly!
Sanpan21 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:19:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence in a two person car ride. Listen to the wind my friend.
jacktheBOSS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Car rides are really the opportunity to listen to loud music for me though. I live in an apartment and am usually doing something that requires listening to something else anyway. I might be annoyed if I was the friend you had in your car, buy yeah, there's nothing socially wrong with it.
Zombiecidialfreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a woman? Because this is actually pretty common among the men in my family but not the women.
senatorskeletor ยท 2102 points ยท Posted at 15:37:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If someone's slow AND putting in zero effort to get out of the way, you should be allowed to walk past them, lightly bumping them if needed.
EDIT: I desperately wish saying "excuse me" worked. It does not. I also shouldn't have to beg someone to consider people besides themselves when in public.
EDIT2: While I have some attention, let me do my public service for the day and request that everyone read this.
King-Jimmy ยท 1043 points ยท Posted at 17:06:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Highly agree with this. As a fast walker, I don't understand people's need to walk as slow as a turtle. I just want to get from A to C without having to trail B-hind your slow ass.
TheLastDesperado ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:12:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I'm somewhat short, so I've got short legs. So I'm not going to be able to walk as fast as someone with longer legs without straining somewhat... But still I see so many people walking slower than my standard walking speed. It boggles the mind!
Then again, people getting in my way/being slow/having no awareness of their surroundings is a big pet peeve of mine.
King-Jimmy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:25:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As is it one of mine. It's not people who can't walk fast/move out of the way, it's those who don't that piss me off.
clippythedownvoter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No awareness is the worst. I drive a truck and the amount of ignorant fools in places like Walmart astounds me. I'm on the floor moving a pallet that weighs a ton and you can't move your shopping cart any faster? I say excuse me but no one ever hears.
twinnedcalcite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speed walking not dependent on leg size. I know many shorter legged people that make me nearly jog to keep up with them.
lady__of__machinery ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:26:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand this either. There's unspoken unofficial rules I thought. if you need to slow down or to text, move to the side. If you just walk slow and hold hands with like 7 other people, you're all a bunch of fucking cunts. And for the love of fuck, DON'T - DO NOT just stop walking right as you get off the fucking escalator. Where the fuck do you think people will go who are RIGHT behind you? Fucking idiots.
frickindeal ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:07:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My question, with foot traffic and road traffic, is don't you want to get where you're going? I never understood people just lollygagging their way about the day. I get the "slow down and take it all in," but that hardly applies when I'm travelling the same route I do on a daily basis. I just want to get there and move on with things I'd rather be doing than sitting in a car or walking on a sidewalk.
MasterBaser ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 18:19:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a complete space cadet, I'm walking slow because I'm thinking happy thoughts and am completely unaware of your existence.
ShipTheBreadToFred ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:24:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no issue with slow walkers. But those who wander from side to side and or in the middle of the sidewalk and make it tough to get past them. They need a bump. Stick to the side and give space and I have no issue with ya
TheKrakenCometh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:28:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the groups of people that look like they're trying to find another group to play Red Rover with by securing the entire width of the sidewalk shoulder-to-shoulder.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're going to walk slow, you should have enough common sense not to stand in the middle of the damn walkway.
unrighteous_bison ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as long as you aren't blocking people, go for it. otherwise it's self absorbed assholery.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm happy for you, but if you're doing this shit in a tight space (where there is not enough room for me to pass) don't be shocked when I bump you some.
atouchofyou ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:51:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I have back problems and sometimes walking is difficult and there's no way I can move any faster.
damadamagoyolur ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:03:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See though, I bet you're aware that you're walking slower and that you can't go faster. So you probably pick a side of the sidewalk and stick to it. You probably don't meander back and forth across the entire thing, or walk with your friends 3 across blocking 80% of the sidewalk so no one else can pass, or randomly stop in the middle of the sidewalk to have a conversation and blocking 80% of the sidewalk. You can be as slow as you want, it's when these other things start piling up that people tend to lose their shit and get frustrated.
*edit: then again maybe not, there are some ragey turds in these comments that apparently just hate anyone not walking as fast as they want to walk. So fuck'em, do you, boo.
atouchofyou ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:03:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people find empathy too hard for everyday use.
buymydebt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its not about empathy. Most people are just REALLY frustrated. There are times I get stuck behind a person with a bad back or bum knee or are simply elderly. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE FRUSTRATED but that extra 30 seconds is literally me getting a train or waiting for 45 minutes.
LorenaG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should've left 30 seconds earlier dude.
buymydebt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have a choice with public transport in NYC. Sometimes its a 15 minute subway ride to the Train other times its 30 minutes.
It doesn't matter anymore I don't work in NYC - I still have the same 2hr commute each way, but being away from the MTA is amazing.
soneverkickadog ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:53:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, not all people are focused on getting to where they're going. You may be, and they probably are sometimes, but sometimes you're just walking. Or you have a destination but no time limit. I agree you should be conscious of others trying to get by, but there's nothing wrong with taking it slow and meandering
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, you have absolutely no right to be in the way of people who need to actually go somewhere. What bothers me more is driving slower than everyone else in traffic. Yeah, I can understand the appeal of doing a slow cruise on a Saturday afternoon, but some folks only drive because they need to get somewhere, and if the entire traffic flow goes 5 over the limit then so should you, darn it!
tha_dank ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:36:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
say WHAT?? I'm a fast walker and I think thats bullshit. Driving the speed limit is one thing, there's a lot of safety involved with that, but the walking thing...get your entitled ass the fuck out of here.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:38:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are impeding traffic, YOU are the Safety hazard.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:42:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 21:46:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Traffic works for walking or cars... If slower, move right.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:03:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:04:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're a tourist, you have no excuse to lollygag in the way of other people. Step on the grass if need be, but don't obstruct foot traffic. Same with getting on and off the bus/train, there's a lot of people waiting behind you and there's no time to loiter. Move out of the way, make room for folks behind you, and then figure out where you're heading.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:11:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you literally feel you are more important than the entire rest of the town and any people who are in a rush must walk behind you at your speed because they are below you?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:39:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I mean is, why should everyone struggle to get past you when it would be better if you simply stood in a spot that didn't obstruct traffic. Are other people of no concern to your highness?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw the downvoters, those are true words. If you drive slower than everyone else then folks are going to pass you via the opposite lane and that's pretty dangerous. Even when I drive over the speed limit and someone is tailgating me then I will make room and let them pass at the first opportunity. Being in the way is the worst sin in traffic.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I even try not to tailgate, it's just very inconsiderate to drive along slowly and not let people by.
shesallover ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:02:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, sometimes people are going to a place they've never been before and are looking out for street signs or road markings.
But you're probably super important or whatever, so like... nobody should be allowed to drive in a place where they haven't scouted out and committed the roads to memory so they don't inconvenience you. Not like THEY have places they need to get to, or they would have known ahead of time everything that YOU know!
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:57:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking those people who drive at the speed limit out of sheer bloody-minded principle. If you have a foreign license plate, I can understand.
Vandechoz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:23:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been pulled over for going 2 over the limit. If you don't like that I'm going the limit and not over, take it up with the cops.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:31:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fine, don't go over the speed limit on the highway, but allow others to pass as soon as possible. Your cops are clearly bored to tits though, I've driven into a police speed camera at 13 over the limit and they didn't care. They're after the big fish.
shesallover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:40 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good thing you can tell people's intentions from outside their vehicle, in another vehicle, so you know which people observing the speed limit to hate on.
aerosol999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not always in a hurry. Sometimes I like to just mosey along and enjoy myself. That being said I always try to stay off to the side so people can get around me.
loosefins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:42:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't exactly get your question.. just because someone walks slow or is "lollygagging" doesn't imply that they don't want to get where they are going. They just might not need to do it as quickly as you. And what makes the "slow down and take it all in" situation hardly apply? That seems like a perfectly legitimate reason to move to a particular point at a slower pace... regardless of whether or not that route is traveled daily or not. I get you wanting to get there and move on, but shouldn't it be just as easy to understand someone else wanting to do that differently? and as a side note, not saying this applies to you, but it seems to me that if you're focused so much on getting to the next thing or moving on, it can be a bit hard to be "present" in the moment.
frickindeal ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:21:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's basically "this place isn't remarkable enough to want to take an hour of precious time away from other things I could be doing, why is it to you?" Legitimately curious what people are thinking.
And my daily route should be savored? I've savored that motherfucker every day except Sunday for the last 10+ years. There's not much new to linger on.
I guess I choose to "be present" at places that are much more interesting or stimulating than the ride to/from my shop.
loosefins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:37:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense.. To try and answer your question.. I think I usually walk slower/commute at a slower rate than others for a variety of reasons. For instance, sometimes the commute is the small window of time that I get to be introspective in ways my otherwise demanding day doesn't allow me to be. Other times I think I move slower because so much of everything else I do is done quickly (sports, swimming, running, biking, surfing). I move so fast doing those things, that when I'm walking on a sidewalk I have no interest in rushing. Other times, the commute might be my only time to be outside between work and obligations.. and thus the only time to take in my surroundings, listen to the birds, look at the clouds etc.. And finally and specifically geared to automobile commuting.. I know how dangerous rushing can be as a result of car accidents or losing loved ones. Even when I do feel the urge to rush home or to the beach or to see friends and family, I recognize that time difference is negligible and I enjoy the slower pace.
G420classified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call this "living without purpose" because that's really how it seems half the time. People who lolly-gag don't value their time here enough to care.
Phoque_It ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:01:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's a bit much don't you think? Life doesn't have to be a rush from place to place. Taking it slow is relaxing. Even on a route you take daily you could see tons of different people, different things happening, see the beauty in the way the sun reflects off that building or that flock of birds flying overhead. There is beauty everywhere you go, and I value my time enough to notice it.
I respect that you don't put value on that, but don't put down other people just because you don't understand it.
G420classified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mean to say we should always be at a 10 I just mean when you're not understand others might be so respectfully allow them their passage don't expect others to slow down because you're relaxing and have nowhere to be
Phoque_It ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, if you're taking it slow you should definitely let people who need/like to move faster go by. Totally agree with you on that. Thinking that it's okay to block people because you can't be bothered to make space is just as bad as thinking people should move faster because you like to move faster.
Aero_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:43:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh they do want to get where they're going. That's why they'll run the red light you'll have to wait at because they drove 10 under the limit getting to the intersection.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:14:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
King-Jimmy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was saying earlier. It's the non handicapped people. The able bodied people that won't walk fast or let you past, those are nitwits that really rustle my jimmies
WatzUpzPeepz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:57:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can people distinguish though? It's not always evident if somebody has MS or sufferers chronic pain ect.
King-Jimmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd always notice someone that has no control over their slowness. I don't know how. They look like they're trying to get places but can't. Which I have no issue with. When someone is just slowly strolling down a busy street holding up 15 people behind them and is able to either move it wall fast but won't, they're cunts.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got shin splints. Completely invisible muscle damage caused by shitty shoes in highschool and essentially no arches in my feet.
No way to tell that I'm walking slow so that I can actually walk the next day.
Stoic_stone ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:41:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like get D hell out of 'E way, for F's sake.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice
neocommenter ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:15:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People with disabilities or recovering from serious injury? It may not always be obvious. I slipped a disc a few years back and it was frustrating how slow I had to walk, and I was still in excruciating pain.
King-Jimmy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:26:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that. As I said in another comment, it isn't those who can't walk fast/move out of the way, it's those who won't that piss me off.
shesallover ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:05:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but how the fuck can anyone know the difference?
It's not like people have "SPINAL INJURY, SORRY" signs stamped on their back. Someone could be recovering from surgery, or have a cognitive impairment. They could be high as fuck. You have no way of knowing the difference between who can and who can't moderate their walking speed to please the overlords of pedestrian cadence.
MomWTF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually fractured a vertebrae last year, I did and still walk faster than all my co-workers (most are taller than me). Hell, even when stoned I walk fast, why? I've got shit to do.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:47:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
senatorskeletor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:28:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Think of driving on a two-lane highway. You come around a curve and two cars are just stopped. The speed limit is 55. They are outside their cars, leaning on their hoods, talking and laughing. A huge traffic jam forms instantly. How would you feel about those people?
That's what it's like living in NYC. It's not questioning someone's right to exist. It's questioning someone's right to hold up everyone else for no reason, and your right to do something about it.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
senatorskeletor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do! I moved here when I was 25. Stationary people in NYC are like stationary cars on a highway: of course it's acceptable, but you sure as hell better pull over first.
By the way, I'm disabling inbox replies here because you 100% ignored my question, which suggests you know I'm right but are just arguing for the sake of arguing. Have fun!
bushysmalls ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:06:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you go from the A to the C? They run on the same line and the A is express.
smorse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if you want to go a long distance and then get off at a stop that only the local stops at?
bushysmalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walk instead of waiting 15 minutes for next train of course!
smorse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what if I am a really slow walker who blocks the entire sidewalk?
bushysmalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then we are mortal enemies.
LEMON_PARTY_ANIMAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what about if you need to go to one of the stations that the A hops over on its 125-59th jump? I had this commute :P
bushysmalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to get off at 59th and missed it one morning, ended up on 125th. Needless to say I ended up like 25 minutes late to work.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:16:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
sothatshowyougetants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So THAT'S what happens when I'm rushing to get somewhere. I find my shins hurt more if I'm wearing flat shoes as well. God, it hurts like a bitch.
BingBong_BingBong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get some sole supports youge tants!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bear in mind, while you're right that most people are being oblivious, some have invisible mobility issues. Don't go bumping in case you catch one of the rightfully slow walkers.
King-Jimmy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:32:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd never bump into anybody. I'd just aggressively move past them to make my point.
XzaylerHW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But also people standing in the middle of corridors.... that pisses me off. A group of people literally standing in the middle of a corridor while others are trying to pass and just have to go around them while the group could shift to the side easily. And no one seems to mind.... there's something seriously wrong....
FullmentalFiction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this in grocery stores too, and I never noticed until my sister came with me to the store once and had to beg for me to slow down no less than 5 times. My mentality is get where you're going, get what you need, get home, and don't waste time. I can understand people needing time to think about what they're buying, but in the meantime they can kindly move over so that everyone else can get by. I do the same when I have to stop to debate a brand/price, find a coupon, or recheck my list, it's not like I'm holding you to some miraculous standard that is completely unattainable. Now of course, any sort of leisure shopping or sightseeing would mean no need to go at a fast speed, but that doesn't mean slow everyone else around you down too.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mantra right there
Harbltron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey walk as slow as you want, stop moving even, just DON'T BLOCK THE FUCKING WAY
Clw1115934 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice comment, will remember line about the B-hind next time I'm stuck in walk traffic.
Agemrepus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:43 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dude that's like the coolest saying I've ever heard... def gonna steal that and use it sometime
King-Jimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:24 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are reacting surprisingly well to this saying. I just mixed around with my other frequently used saying "I just want to get from A to C without having to go through B"
YOUNG_G0D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nicely crafted. Well done.
BlackopsSA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fast walkers unite!
alveoli1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ones who walk slow and take up the whole hallway are the worst!
Especially when they move over for someone coming the other way, then immediately take over the whole hallway again.
Ugh.
bobbaphet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You realize slow walkers say the exact same thing about fast walkers.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah people will complain about everything. Whatever you think is nice and right there are others who hate.
Itswithans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the city, but live outside for the sole purpose of getting away from the ANGRY MONSTER I apparently morph into in the subway system. I'm not rude, but I just want to get to work and get home without having to deal with assholey high schoolers and slow fat people blocking the entire passageway. Also tourists. Fuck tourists.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking tourists -_-
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
D-ees nuts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Life's about the journey man.
Salvationunending ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why you got elected king.
King-Jimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I encouraged people to eat theirs instead of throwing them at the peasants. Peasants liked this so they voted me as King of the Jimmies
ThatsSoBloodRaven ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:52:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unpopular opinion incoming. As a slow walker, I consider it entirely your problem. If you haven't left enough time to get somewhere, that's your problem. I will enjoy my walk. Obviously I will let you past if I'm aware that you need to get by, but don't put it on my head, you're the one who's late.
awesometographer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:10:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's completely fine... just don't walk side by side by side with your slow friends and get upset that I try and pass by.
ThatsSoBloodRaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get upset when you try to pass by as long (as you're not an arse about it)!!
PaintItPurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any amount of time is too little if we allow for the possibility of the trip being prolonged arbitrarily. Getting from the bedroom to the living room could take hours if you throw up enough obstacles, but I don't think it's reasonable to say I'm "late" because I didn't walk into the living room three hours before my show comes on.
In other words, just because you walk slowly doesn't mean they're late. They only become late if you foist your speed onto them.
ThatsSoBloodRaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're overstating how much time you really lose having to walk round people. Even when I've been in a hurry I can't think of any situation where I've ever lost more than 30 seconds due to slow walkers. 'Prolonging arbitrarily' seems a bit strong. Either way - if you aren't actually running late, then it's just squabbling over whose enjoyment of their walk is more important! There's no reason then that your walk should inherently be prioritised over mine. As always, you're welcome to pass, but please don't unduly interrupt my stroll or scowl at me for taking my time.
Treeribs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:16:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I walk slow due to an issue with my legs and I hate when people zoom around me, almost knocking me over because i walk a little slower than they want to get to the butter isle
sothatshowyougetants ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:45:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother has bad hips and walks slowly or else she's in pain. If your dumb ass bumped her because you're impatient I would have floored you.
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd never bump anyone. I'd just aggressively run past them. I'm not a monster, I just like to walk fast.
_Hessian_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:41:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
chill out man, there is no rush
King-Jimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know bro, but I have big legs that make me travel faster than others.
justsomedude322 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just breeze past these people, I had no idea it was rude to do so.
smackfairy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:30:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Do you guys just stay behind them being slow too??
frogshateclocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:28 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a fast walker by myself or with my husband, or son, but if I'm at the mall with my mom and nephews, they're crazy slow. I don't think it's rude to pass us if we're being slow in fact I feel super bad knowing we're being slow. Please pass us. As long as you don't scoff as you do so, I'm fine.
justsomedude322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:49 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I hate to think about what other people think when I'm walking slow, I can't help it my legs are stubby and unless I need to be somewhere I'm not going to put forth the extra effort.
HauntedMinge ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 17:05:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit yes, when an entire family is walking 5 abreast AT SNAIL PACE down the sidewalk it should be legal to shove them into oncoming traffic. I walk at a fairly normal speed but always make sure i gently nudge people that i pass who have no awareness about how infuriatingly slow they are walking.
senatorskeletor ยท 292 points ยท Posted at 17:33:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget when they're coming in your direction and they LOOK AT YOU and STILL don't get out of your way. Just unbelievable.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 18:01:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I turn this into a game of chicken. I'm entitled to sidewalk space so get out of my way and share or i will knock you out of my way.
detourne ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:20:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta perfect the thousand yard stare past them as you do it.
Barely_adequate ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:29:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you lock eyes with one and smile as you close the distance
detourne ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:43:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in my neighborhood. Don't want to deal with anything.
mandalorkael ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just move my fatness. If they want to get knocked down, they'll run into me. I'm tall and solid. Two wins for me.
lobehold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Luigi death stare.
AeAeR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I generally get within a couple steps then just stop moving. I plant my feet like a basketball pick and just stand there. So basically, if you want to keep going, you have to get out of my way. Works like a charm.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this to. Either they move or they get hit. Its pretty funny if we bump shoulders. A lot of the time me and the other person smile when we realize we're on an unavoidable collision course. That moment when two extremely hard headed people meet each other on the sidewalk and refuse to move for the other is kind of a unifying factor. Its comforting knowing that there are other people that are just as unwilling to move as I am.
Xakuya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See this would happen but if I'm dedicated to ramming some one it's usually preceded with a "get the fuck out of my way." No camaraderie.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll move for legit reasons. Children, wheelchair, etc. Tho if some douche nugget won't let go of his baes hand for 5 seconds to share the sidewalk I'll walk straight through him without a word.
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stand still and brace for impact
And then THEY get all indignant about how rude YOU are.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when i tell them to Fuck off and share the sidewalk as they ricochet off of me.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:46:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, I weigh 200 pounds. Get out of my way or I will force you.
For the record, I'm not fat, just 6'4 and athletic
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funny. If you got serious you'd end up on your ass and I'd keep walking. Share the sidewalk asshole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized that I phrased that really terribly; I'm on your side. I'm telling the people who walk four in a line to fuck off.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah gotcha. Well then walk on!
folderol ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not very smart. One day you will run into the wrong guy and you will find out it wasn't worth making a point.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had my ass kicked plenty of times and can hold my own quite well. Most people, even BAMFs will realize they should not force people to walk in the road so they can stand next to the loser on their side. When I'm walking in groups i take the initiative to share the sidewalk. Others should too. Or they'll run right into me.
informationmissing ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's nice to be a man.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you trying to prove here miss?
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:10 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a man.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:19 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aite. Answer the question, man.
degeneration ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:40:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't even have to be an entire family, it can just be that one lady looking at her iphone. I'm certainly not getting out of the way, when you bother to look up as you're just inches away from walking into me, then you can jump and twist and writhe out of the way for me.
FullmentalFiction ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:46:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except it you're a man, then you're then on the hook for "assault" if the lady happens to be a total jerk and expects the world to move for her.
DontPromoteIgnorance ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Focus your vision beyond them and keep walking.
Alpine_Pineappler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Protip: single out one of them and stare at them as you walk on an intercept course. Most likely they'll make way for you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Improve your posture and take a firm expression, then people will make way for you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time this happens to you just stare straight between the two people you want to pass through. Don't make eye contact and don't slow down. I'm a fairly short girl and used to hate stepping off the sidewalk for big groups of people. Now they part around me.
Herpinator1992 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just stop walking. Then you become their problem.
sethoscope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love this move. Stopping in front of a group of people taking the whole sidewalk is amazing.
dayblow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you play an impromptu game of red rover
bushysmalls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had that shit happen on the way back to work from a break today. 4-wide and they took up the whole space leaving me no room. Just walked right through them, as far right as I could manage, and told them "Move the hell over".
TedTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's one of the perks of being tall, people clear out of your way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tip: look ahead of them and keep walking.. They will move
Warnackle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 6'2" and when this happens I just run into which ever one is refusing to get out of my way. I live in Orlando so it's a pretty frequent occurrence that I am just done with.
sethoscope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep same here in NYC.
kontankarite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to cross into a road sometimes because of this. Somehow, if you break their ranks, it's a provocation. God damn.
GingaSnapzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This works both ways. If I side step to give you some room, and you don't do the same, I'm stepping right back into your path and we can see who wins.
At 6'5 290lbs.. It's usually me.
0RGASMIK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my if someone is in a group and they don't get out of my way, after I make eye contact and get over to the far right side of the sidewalk... They better be prepared for a stiff shoulder. One time I hit a guy so hard he spun around, his whole group turned and all I said was "that's on you." Took the smile off his face real quick.
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To add to this: people who block the way, or attempt to enter an elevator before everyone's gotten out. How dense can you be?
SouthpawRage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold your ground. I am the queen of Sidewalk Chicken. I already take up very little space, I'm not going to fucking stop to let you pass or walk in the grass or some shit. You don't need to walk four people across shoulder to shoulder to keep up a conversation. I am not afraid to bump into you if you refuse to move.
FUCK. Sorry I keep getting even more pissed off at the a-holes that I see whenever I go out to lunch at work. So many suits that think they're better than me and own the sidewalk...
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those people are people who haven't been informed that they are not static objects in the universe, and not everything is going to get out of their way. I walk directly through them, scattering people as needed. It's a physics lesson more than anything else; I'm really just concerned that their mindset will continue into the next street where they will be educated in a manner far more rude than mine by the next bus going past.
hjiaicmk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when that happens I drift in front of one of the adults, if they don't move aside I walk right through them knocking them out of my way.
TheTacoMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when it becomes a game of chicken. You just have to bowling ball right through the row of morons...which is incredibly satisfying. I love the looks you get when you change your path to try to get out of the way as much as possible, the idiots keep bearing down on you like you're not going to take action, then blasting through their ranks like you're in the Red River World Championship
moonshine_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just look them in the eye and stop walking so they have to go around me.
talesofdouchebaggery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just stay my course. They figure it out eventually.
Jules_Noctambule ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:04:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The other day I was at the grocery store and there was a large family just standing in one of the wider aisles across the end of a smaller aisle, scattered and waiting while the father looked at a product. I was trying to exit the smaller aisle and it was busy, so I edged my cart into the gap between a few of the children with a bright 'Excuse me, kids!' and as I walked off the father turned around to me and shouted 'Did you just cut off my children?!' as if I'd slapped one of them in the face or something. I just smiled widely and replied 'I sure did! You're all in the way' and kept walking. The aisle-blocking was annoying enough, but the idea that the whims of this man and his family should come before the convenience of every other person in the shop was just ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHA, 'it should be legal to shove them into oncoming traffic', god, that's a print.
folderol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or one guy the size of 3 people. I saw one of those the other days and decided to cut around him on the left. At the same time this lady came shooting through that gap. She made eye contact with me and saw me coming but wasn't going to move so I slipped in front of the guy and kept a good pace to make distance. I heard this outraged, "Excuse me!". I wound up not acknowledging him because my instinct was to tell him to get used to it if his fat ass blocked off half 10 foot hallway. Excuse me indeed, you are the one being rude.
jeanroyall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asians in NYC.
Ananasboat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asians in Asia.
Liquid_Beaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus christ, if you lot were German this would be the Berlin fucking Wall!"
cC2Panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't think of it as a problem, think of it as a spontaneous game of red rover.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a cattle prod be more efficient
dontgivethemyourssn ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:45:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? It's even worse when there's a ton of foot traffic and they just stop right in the middle of the main thoroughfare to compare naval lint or whatever it is they're doing. How about walking another 10 feet, stepping out of the crush, and then figuring out where the hell you're going.
vitaamara ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to London, you'll love it.
senatorskeletor ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:30:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Manhattan. I honestly, legitimately, 100% believe everyone coming in by train or plane should be handed a one-page guide on how to stay out of the fucking way.
detourne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was that set of gigs that should be posted for tourists to every major city.
here it is!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sethoscope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same. You stay on your side I'll stay on mine haha. This group was taking up the entire sidewalk coming towards me the other day. I kept all the way to the right and just walked through one of them. They made no effort to even turn a shoulder to make room but I get called an asshole.
opentoast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god, yes, this is the worst in manhattan. like I have things to do and you're not the only one walking in this city, MOVE!
rattledamper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in Times Square. It is incredible how shitty people there are about the speed at which they move and the space they take up to do it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered why do many high profile companies have offices there when is so clearly a shitty place to work
rattledamper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure really. I guess clients that come in from out of town like it? Nobody who lives in New York has ever had a positive reaction when I told them I work in Times Square, though.
TonySoprano420 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You aren't?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:14:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU GERIATRIC BASTARDS!
Give grandma a good shove into the pavement to teach that bitch a lesson.
yeshaveanother ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:08:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No - the best is when you walk past people who are two or three wide on the sidewalk and you have to go out of your way to pass them and one of them says "Oh, excuuuuuse me." My whole head literally figuratively explodes.
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great call. I've actually started yelling at those people, and I'm not kidding. It's really cathartic.
RoachPowder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, if it's a horizontal line of people, crash through while bellowing "RED ROVER".
Jhago ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I often do this while saying "Excuse me" and putting a smile. Makes them less likely to start getting mad.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:06:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell when you see a group of folks who all walk together slowly, shoulder to shoulder, down the sidewalk, it should be required that someone pull and Ndamukong Suh and bull rush that offensive line to keep pedestrian traffic flowing.
Those people are like clots in the arteries.
senatorskeletor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:25:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly right, and it's what people don't understand. "So what if you were delayed for a couple of seconds?" Well, those couple of seconds might cause me to miss the light at the crosswalk, and then that 30-second delay might make me miss the train, and all of a sudden I'm showing up ten minutes late for work because some jackhole didn't give any thought to anyone else.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:48:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you're late to work because of a 30 second delay that then triggered another small delay, it's not the worlds fault. It's not everyone's fault you're not punctual. I literally just flew back from NYC yesterday. Was there with my family who are as touristy as you can be. Not once did anyone bump or shove us to get out of their way. You live in NYC, so you know very well the massive amounts of tourists that come to visit and the congestion that comes with it.
senatorskeletor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, it's not the world's fault. It's the fault of the asshole who didn't feel like being considerate of other people. And I don't know where you're getting "small delay" from. Now that your visit has made you an expert in NYC I'm sure you recall that the next subway can routinely take 15+ minutes to show up. But even that's besides the point. The point is that getting around in NYC is a long series of cascading bottlenecks, so you have to minimize your odds of getting caught in each one so the delays don't pile on top of each other.
Here you're missing one crucial element: none of that is necessary. Let's assume you and your family were as considerate as you think you were. Why can't everyone else do the same? If they did, delays would go way down, and people who aren't on vacation and have actual deadlines won't be so negatively affected by tourists.
The reason that tourists are so inconsiderate, of course, is that they're on vacation and they don't care that they chose to go someplace that's an actual, functioning city and not an amusement park where everyone caters to their whims. But NYC is based around millions of people learning to deal with the mass of people so that everyone can get where they're going. If a tourist doesn't feel like doing that, as you say, it's not the world's fault.
Here's some helpful reading you might enjoy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read it and found this article to be really good actually. It definitely kind of changed my view and I see more where you were coming from originally. Thanks for sharing the article.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Geez, you didn't have to be so mean about it. I'm def no expert on NYC. Also, I was the one that initiated our exchange. I can certainly see where you're coming from. My apologies for being a little dickish earlier. I'm not that much of a douchebag IRL, still sort of one though
sethoscope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like your family obeyed the rules of the sidewalk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a little embarrassed to share this but, I was walking towards a group of people walking three wide on a residential sidewalk after a snow (it was narrow but shoveled). I moved as far right as allowed and had to give the person on the end a shoulder because instead of falling behind the group for ten seconds, her conversation was more important. She did not get knocked over, not sure if she understood though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This applies while driving too.
After visiting Oregon for the last few years, I know the Rogue River Highway pretty well and how to drive it. Occasionally we will get some newbies from out of state who don't know how to drive it, and will crawl along it at 25mph when the rest of us are trying to go 55.
Worse, they make zero effort to pull off and let others go past. There are passing points, but they are particularly risky to use.
senatorskeletor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree completely. There's really nothing like going over a short hill while in heavy traffic and discovering it's just two douchebags going 55 in both lanes right next to each other.
No_Spin_Zone360 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. You first give them a tap but then give that cunt a pit maneuver when they start driving erratically likely because they're pissed. Works every time
wolfmanpraxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Former Metro NYer here that now lives elsewhere.
That article in edit2 is spot on. I didnt have time to wait for you and party of 12 standing on the street corner taking pictures.
I need to cross the street, so I will do so legally (and safely if major intersection) at the cross walk, even if that means I am ruining your picture.
Cambian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the ideal my dad instilled in me "walk with a purpose or get the fuck out of the way"
georgestobbart1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few weeks ago, I actually texted my brother to tell him I just walked behind a guy for about 4 minutes and we had the exact same walking speed. It made me so happy.
senatorskeletor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me once on my commute! The guy walked RIGHT in front of me and I was like "aw fuck" as I typically am, and then we went to the exact same place and he was just a bit ahead of me the entire time. It was beautiful.
Zukuni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say excuse me sternly but politely and most people will usually move. If it doesn't work then just go through them if you have to.
uss1701jb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have clearly never been in this situation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly tempted to walk around with an air horn. Who the fuck doesn't turn around to see what's up when someone is literally yelling "EXCUSE ME" behind you?
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What gets me is when they get awoken from their stupor and move TOWARDS me. Are you attracted to sounds? Get OUT of the way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least they wouldn't move towards an air horn. I'd love to see a youtube video of people doing this to get them out of there way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been doing this for the last 4 years, especially on escalators
lesoraku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get frustrated and am in a bad habit of speeding up and preparing to knock people out of my way... never once have they not moved. Apparently I have got rude comments back for making them get out of my way, I just totally ignore them. Life is easier now!
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really wish they would put walking lanes in places like malls with a left lane for passing slow people. I wonder how road rage would work in the mall.
Crispy95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in retail and have no patience when I have to go somewhere. I find saying "sorry, mind if I squeeze through" and starting to squeeze through the nearest gap works wonders. Makes my life so much faster.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or kill them
Sirspen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I spent a month in China and forcing through crowds was pretty much required in some areas there. Definitely something I'm no longer afraid to do in the states after that trip. If you have to bump someone, a quick sorry or "excuse me" is enough. If they make a scene, they're the asshole, not you.
mothernatureisfickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who walks side by side with my spouse at a reduced speed because I have medical disabilities and I need him for balance and support I strongly urge you to NOT nudge anyone. I've been bumped before and it has caused me to fall over. Be patient with other humans and your fast walking will get you where you need to go in due time.
FutanariNeko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going upwards in an escalator I saw the funniest sight ever over on the downwards going one where the whole escalator was pacing along slowly in the pace of a seemingly oblivious person with downs syndrome who was blocking both "lanes".
tiamdi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or hockey hip check into grocery shelves/displays
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a fast walker, I do this all the time. People walk so damn slow and it drives me nuts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living in northern england is great all you have to say is "SCUSE" and people move aside and tut at you as you go past
raineveryday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plowing through people while saying "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY" should be legal if your path is obstructed by intentionally slow walkers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish "excuse me" still meant "excuse me", a polite half-apology that meant I'm not trying to disrespect you in anyway, and I apologize if I'm in the wrong, but I just need to ______, thanks!
But some passive-aggressive a-holes muddied the whole thing up. It's like the "bless your heart" business I've been hearing about in the South, except that, as a phrase, "excuse me" was so very useful.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a big guy, and so I've grown to be constantly aware of my surroundings, I always have to know if I'm in someone's way, or if there is room for me to move somewhere. It's easy, you just have glance around every so often and be aware of footsteps. So it confuses the shit outta me how people can stand in the middle of a walkway talking, and as you walk towards them they don't budge an inch.
spacecadetdani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you need a bike bell.
senatorskeletor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ride bikes too, the bike bell does literally nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got stuck behind 2 fat people in the corridor at work today and I totally understand where you're coming from.
Patrick1423 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES If I'm running and you're taking u the whole road even after i say excuse me, youre getting an elbow. Sorry.
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you are allowed. nobody said you are not allowed to do that.
Fendicano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh you are being too kind. Do it like you're exercising on the street "ON YOUR LEFT"
A_Gentle_Taco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Canada if people atop in front of us the whole crowd will come to a halt.
Ribo19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do what I do and walk infront of them by bumping into them and then saying excuse me as you go past
Mr_Rippe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from NYC. We got rid of the "excuse me" courtesy a long time ago.
TallT66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Darn meanderthalls.
G420classified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beautifully worded, people need to develop the habit of just looking around it's ridiculous
bass_n_treble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get a bike bell. People seem to respond to it.
OfficiallyAexq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually just say "move the fuck out of the way.... please"
I probably shouldn't do that.
Vtepes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
London underground is the worst. It's a cesspool of ignorant cunts. They insist on walking the same slow speed as the person beside them and not moving the fuck out of the way when the rest of the passengers that got off behind them have somewhere to go. Then you get the cunts that think "keep left" means walk on the right and get in everyone elses way that is walking on the left. They all get shoulders as far as I'm concerned.
TrippyJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This should also apply to driving. There'd be a lot less people camping the fast lane
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just say "excuse me" louder and louder until you are shouting?
I find some people really hate unannounced physical contact. It could potentially earn you a punch in the face or worse.
n3gr0_am1g0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our football coaches used to tell us that if someone next to you when we were doing sprints was slacking off and causing the team to have to run extra they didn't care if we gave a them nudge to encourage them to run faster.
scmoua666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I do in crowds now. No "sorry" (and I'm canadian).
BleedingKing11493 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just shove those fuckers out of the way!
Doctor_Wife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's totally acceptable to give a little shove to rude slow-pokes who ignore your presence.
I'd agree with everything except edit 2 on New Yorkers.... Having a brother-in-law from there, visiting his family, friends, neighbors, business owners/workers....all rude as fuck. I felt the entire atmosphere was very condescending, sexist, and generally horrible. Probably some selection bias (on my sister's part?), but I've never met a person who admitted to being from New York who wasn't an ass.
SometimesShitFlies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a slow walker, thus thread makes me sad.
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one has a problem with slow walkers who stay out of the way.
fatherjokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New York could learn a thing or two from Tokyo
[deleted] ยท 4796 points ยท Posted at 15:18:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
saying "black" instead of "african american".
[deleted] ยท 2196 points ยท Posted at 16:46:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was acceptable though, we have Black History Month
sfink06 ยท 1326 points ยท Posted at 17:13:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I don't recall ever seeing someone else take offense to the term black.
dylanus93 ยท 1780 points ยท Posted at 17:37:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time,I hde a discussion with a lady at my register about how she refused to be called 'African American'. She said she was not born in Africa, and so, she was just an American who happened to be black.
geoper ยท 980 points ยท Posted at 18:44:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention people who immigrate from Africa but people won't call them African-American because they are white.
[deleted] ยท 681 points ยท Posted at 22:13:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My school tried to expel a South African white kid for applying for scholarships and checking African American. They lost the attempt, hard
[deleted] ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The category "African-American" is too broad in its current use. Dark-skinned people currently living in the US can be from any continent.
sparks1990 ยท 203 points ยท Posted at 23:17:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That whole question should just be rephrased to "What color is your skin?". Actually, it shouldn't exist. But that's really what they're asking.
santaliqueur ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 00:54:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone else find it terribly sad that this question would be on a scholarship application?
Boatgunner ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:35:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
happy_tractor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:45:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Choose white! Asians have the highest entry requirements in the U.S.
Boatgunner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
AXP878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to see white people's reactions when affirmative action is repealed and they have a harder time getting in to college because all of the spots are filled by Asians.
AluminiumSandworm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asian/white? You're gonna wanna go white.
DeweyTheDecimator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:15:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends. If you're going for admission, probably white. Scholarships? Schools pay a lot of money to be "diverse", you could get a lot of money for being a minority. I know plenty of people(asians, one from the Dominican republic, etc) who have received close to full tuition from state schools simply for their heritage. It's kind of awesome for them, a really cool opportunity whether you agree with it or not
eqleriq ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:13:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is sad that certain people were ridiculously oppressed for a long time and thrust into "equality" without any attempts at balancing besides these, and other people were also ridiculously oppressed for a long time and thrust into "equality" with minor attempts at balancing, and other people were also ridiculously oppressed for a long time and thrust into "equality" with no attempts at balancing.
But how politics works is representation and $$$, not "universal justice and fairness"
zuppaiaia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:38:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a non-american, I'm baffled every day by the american obsession for the color of the skin.
santaliqueur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys don't have an Al Sharpton that keeps racism alive and well.
zuppaiaia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He preached his first sermon at the age of four"
whoa!
golfball1111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:36 on July 25, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saddened by it. How many black people have to be killed by the police before there is actual change?
Se7enLC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that sometime in the course of my life skin color/race becomes as innocuous a question as hair or eye color.
fighterpilot248 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the questions asking about what religion you are, or what country you're originally from (almost like the race question I guess.) And then down at the bottom they have some tiny writing saying something like
"*This information you've provided is confidential and will not be used against you."
I call bullshitโฆ
Keegan320 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:35 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That part is true. It's not used against you. Non Caucasians will have a better chance of being accepted, in the college's attempt to be "diverse". So in a sense being Caucasian works against you, but it isn't used against you, it's just mutually exclusive with things that would have worked for you.
amdnivram ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 01:36:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
no because the reality is that skin color is what got most people to where they are or where they could not be. Sure lots of families had the benefit from not having to deal with minorities as competition and its not something you can just erase over the course of a few years. Everyone always tries to find the "them" to justify the actions of the "us", pretending like nothing needs to be done to provide equal opportunity instead of one based on who you are lucky to be born to. The color of your skin matters when you are not comfortably placed in society
KSFT__ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:00:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...you don't think that's sad?
AXP878 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it sad that it needs to be on a scholarship application, not the fact that it is on a scholarship application.
ilmmad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and that's pretty sad.
sparks1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't read the question, did you?
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 00:57:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no?
santaliqueur ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:07:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently not. I find it to be quite sad, because decisions are being made based upon the answers.
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reasoning is that black students are generally academically disadvantaged, so they should be given extra opportunities. The problem with that is that blacks aren't actually disadvantaged, poor people are. Regardless of skin color or gender or religion or anything else they might ask about, poor people just plain suck academically. But if you're a poor white kid, sucks to be you. Rich black kid? Sure, come on in and get extra financial aid and reduced entry requirements
santaliqueur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that sucks for the poor white kid. If only he was black, he could have gained an advantage he didn't earn. Maybe he could cash in some of that white privilege I hear so much about.
AXP878 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd gladly trade my scholarship for white skin. Where do I sign up?
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you want white skin over whatever you have now? Also, do you feel like you earned your scholarship based upon your scholastic merits only? Or did your skin color factor into it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry all that happened to you. In time, I hope people like that die off, and we look back on them as a sad part of our history.
AXP878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do too, but that's why I have such a strong reaction when people tell me how much easier minorities have it than white people.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you as soon as you tell me how you think you know the color of someone by what they talk about online.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would I? If I was Asian, I'd think minorities have a pretty good chance of success, since Asians are doing great in school and business. But oh yeah, we don't hate them because they aren't brown enough.
If I was Indian, I'd be really worried since I'd be browner than many black people, AND I'd be a minority. Or I'd look around to see how many of my people are doctors and businessmen/women, and I'd think that I could succeed like them.
Oh right, you meant only certain kinds of minorities. Unfortunately for your argument, some minorities are kicking ass. Did whitey just decide to not hold those guys down, but decided to hold black people down?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least there are still some scholarships and such for financial reasons or academic success. As a poor white kid I managed to get free college that way. But nowhere as easily.
AXP878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're full of shit. 72% of all private scholarships go to white people compared to 28% going to minorities. This is despite the fact that minorities make up over a third of applicants.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:10:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They should be made on the answer. We live in a largely implicit racist society where people with a certain skin color are systematically discriminated against. If college admissions is one place to counteract this discrimination, so much the better.
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except a black applicant whose parents are well off does not need that help. Affirmative action is government sanctioned racism.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:19:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
it's not designed to work in every case. no policy is; that's ridiculous utopianism. affirmative action is rough justice. and rough justice is better than no justice.
santaliqueur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:24:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since we are in the real world, we might as well start judging black fathers who abandon their families at an alarming rate. You know, causing this whole mess to continue. The more intact families we see, the faster all this shit goes away. Unwanted kids (of all colors) are filling our prisons.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i'm unclear what your point is...I also agree that we should address fathers who abandon their children.....
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You brought up "the real world" and I decided I'd bring up something "real" that nobody is talking about. It's easier to blame everything on racism, but it's so much more complex than that.
Racism is miles ahead of where it was 50 years ago, and yet blacks don't seem to be improving much. Why? Could it be because it's not the main problem we have concerning black peoples success?
The #1 problem is unwanted children. Why not solve that problem? Because even talking about it will kill your chances in public office. Nah, let's make people feel good and tell them something about the playing field being unfair, while we have a black president and black woman billionaire. Somehow they made it. Might it have been their exceptional determination to succeed? Nah.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i honestly don't get your point. You're pointing to what you see as a bigger problem, but that has no bearing on whether affirmative action is better than nothing.
santaliqueur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:51:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're choosing to ignore everything else and we're only talking about whether affirmative action is better than nothing? Ok.
It's worse, because it's racism. Even if it's benefitting people who racism hurt in the past and hurts today, it's still worse because we are giving things to people based on the color of their skin.
Not too long ago, Jews were systematically collected and exterminated. Surely they would never be able to achieve any success for hundreds of years, right? Oh, they got their shit together? Too bad for them, they could have gotten in on some of that sweet affirmative action.
I want people to succeed on their own merits. Affirmative action is government sanctioned racism, and it's holding us back.
AXP878 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:46:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? You're going to use two people's success to prove that institutional racism is no longer a problem?
santaliqueur ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:57:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How did they escape this institutional racism you speak of? Oprah was dirt poor, raised by a single mother. How did she do it?
AXP878 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:05:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think of it like a race. The white guy's starting line is 10 feet ahead of the black guy's. This doesn't mean the white guy will always win. Maybe the black guy is an Olympic athlete and has the ability to overcome the white person's advantage. Doesn't make it a fair race.
Living in a racist society doesn't mean it's impossible for a black person to be successful any more than it means it's guaranteed for a white person to be successful.
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it was that simple, it would be easy to fix with affirmative action. In your race scenario, you're forgetting many other factors. Blacks (young males) commit crimes at a staggeringly high rate. However, we just say "look how unfair it is that blacks are arrested 10x as often as whites!" without asking how much more crime they are committing. It's a lot more.
Also, do we think that all cops are racist pigs looking to lock up black guys for no reason? I think a small minority of cops are, yes. The rest of the guys are just dudes looking to do their jobs. Why assume they are out to get black people and let white people slide?
flamingeyebrows ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Some scholarship are particularly designed to help people from certain disadvantaged minorities. I know I will never be eligible for one but that doesn't mean I think this measure for equal opportunity is 'sad'.
conquer69 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:17:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even the skin color but ethnicity what they actually are trying to talk about.
People try to slap a "politically correct" sticker on top of a huge racial problem that no one wants to talk about.
Tylerjb4 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:48:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Id say it's more of a culture problem. People of color raised in good homes end up being good people. Whites raised in shit homes tend to end up being shit people. It's just unfortunate that many blacks grow up in perpetuating cycles of shit homes
Boatgunner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Tylerjb4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would argue that the topic of discussion, affirmative action, is exactly that. It is a huge benefit specifically for minorities, my guess is mostly black people
Boatgunner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:00:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Tylerjb4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck if you think you can change culture without shaming and coming across offensive. It's easy to make someone feel bad for smoking or drinking and driving. It's trickier to do that with race and socioeconomics
LeeSeneses ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:20:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scarcity of money begets scarcity. As does scarcity of good family practice, ESPECIALLY with scarcity of money. If you're rich but your parents are horrible, you probably will still be able to count on having a place to go home to, you won't be one screw-up from the sidewalk.
Tylerjb4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends. I've seen a lot of my wealthier friends suffer because they can feed their vices so much and never had to have self control ingrained as a child. One kid I knew was kicked out his home for causing trouble and lived in a shed at their neighborhood park for about a month
curiiouscat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:54:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tylerjb4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To say black people have a single culture is wrong
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:22:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't get what anyone's skin color has to do with anything. It's a pointless questions anymore.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point is to counteract racism. Through no fault of their own, people with black skin are disadvantaged by being born in a social system which privileges people with light skin. By asking what colour a person's skin is, and adjusting admissions accordingly, it is possible to counteract this unfairness.
Third-base-to-home ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:48:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm, sorry but I just plain disagree here. Everyone screams for equality whether it be for blacks, whites, women, immigrants, etc.. By giving special treatment to one group of people whether it be tax cuts, scholarships, or even a job for that matter, simply to fill a quota, or when they may not be the most qualified, you are doing the exact thing you claim to be fighting to fix. You basically help one person who may have been in a bind, and potentially throw another under the bus. There are people of all colors that have shit to deal with, have crummy upbringings, and just get dealt a bad hand. It's not fair, or right, to give one color preferential treatment simply because they supposedly have it worse off. Equality means we ALL get the SAME treatment. You can try and spin it around any way you want, but the moment you give one color another benefit over another you are being racist the other way. In actuality, your statement should really read, people with WHITE skin are disadvantaged by being born into a social system which favors people of DARK skin. I say this because I cannot think of a single thing that a white person is entitled to that a black person isn't. The same cannot be said the other way around. I know it sounds harsh, but the bottom line is if we really want equality, we need to quit giving special treatment based purely on the color of someone's skin, and actually give everyone the same treatment. The current system does nothing but breed hostility, and draw a line between us.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:06:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
uh, what? The question is whether there is more or less unfairness with affirmative action policies than without them. It seems obvious to me that, all things considered, there is less unfairness with them in place. Of course it makes white applicants worse off than they would have been without the policy. That's the point. The question is whether the white applicants' chances of admission, in virtue of such policies, are as bad as a black applicant's would have been (since birth) without affirmative action. And the answer to that is plainly No.
FloaterFloater ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:47:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You think it's fair that a black person with significantly lower scores than an Asian can get in over him? What?
yo_PF_little_help ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You couldn't be more wrong. Let's forget about white people for a minute. Asians and Indians must have exceptionally high test scores to get considered for certain scholarships and admissions. They receive none of the "white privilege" that you allude to.
The fact is, affirmative action is a racist policy. It may have been intended to fight racism. That's irrelevant at this point. Racist policies can't eliminate racism.
luquaum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but that's not happening. They're adjusting for "African Americans" which doesn't equal blacks.
2059FF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Several studies indicate that short people are disadvantaged by society as well, and this through no fault of their own. Why don't colleges adjust admission requirements according to height?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i mean, maybe they should then? what is your point?
AmethystRosette ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get back to us when short people are murdered by cops who then go on to experience little to no consequences, if not outright rewards.
2059FF ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:32:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I share your indignation, but this has little to do with University admissions.
AmethystRosette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's indicative of the different levels of oppression; It's similar to the reasoning as to why LGBQA- Lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, asexual- aren't things that can help you get into college, but being transgender can, in some places- At least from a diversity perspective. The entire LGBTIQA+ spectrum experiences bigotry and all that awful shittiness, but trans* people are more likely to experience the worst of it.
Short people do get the short end of the proverbial stick (Absolutely on purpose, fight me ;) ) but not to the extent that it creates generational poverty- Which is what the initial oppression of black people did. It's also why they get special admissions to things like university, or occasionally job considerations. Granted, university in the U.S is expensive as fuck in general (It's gone up like 1000%+ since 1991 I believe) and that needs to get looked at, but that's also a separate problem.
GameDaySam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It has everything to do with giving people who are marginalized opportunities to succeed when they may not get to otherwise.
My current favorite example picture of this idea
eitauisunity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that also racist?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:24:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Racism' isn't inherently objectionable. When they cast a black actor to play Martin Luther King, that was, in a sense, racist. But it wasn't objectionably racist. What is objectionable is when people are systematically made worse off than others because of their skin color, because that is unfair--not just when they are treated differently in any way. And because that discrimination is unfair, we ought to minimise it, and affirmative action is one way to do so. So it is racist in one sense--that is, that it treats black people differently from others--but not in the objectionable sense; rather it is designed precisely to counteract the objectionable (unfair) racism that happens everywhere else.
eitauisunity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you that racism isn't inherently a bad thing, I'm of the opinion that it is bigotry that is objectionable (eg: racism motivated by hatred). However, isn't the discrimination of affirmative action still harmful even without bigotry?
Someone who has achieved a significant out on their own may have those achievements dwindled, disregarded, or even limited simply because they share characterstics in common with a group of people who receive affirmative action.
"I'm not going to hire this person not because I hat black people, but this person is black and I'm concerned they haven't had to work as hard to get where they are and may not have acquired the skills necessary to be the best applicant for the position."
AXP878 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Affirmative action doesn't give you better grades in university. You still have to pass your classes and graduate.
eitauisunity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but it doesn't require as high if grades. Sure, you still have to pass, but in theory and practice, someone who has a 3.5 GPA is more likely to get the same opportunity as someone who had a 4.0 GPA, and higher placement examine scores.
I mean, neither of those are my metric of a qualified or talented individual, but my metrics aren't represented in either scenario, so they hold constant either way.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:36:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that person's having her achievements dwindled is a shame, but it is a very small price to pay for a fair(er) opportunity at higher education for a huge portion of the population. We have to weigh evils here, and the answer seems obvious to me.
eitauisunity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it negatively impact the perception of anyone who shares that common characteristic though? Wouldn't people see them as needing a handout in order to succeed. This effects both categories in the group, people who accept affirmative action assistance, and people who don't.
Also, at what point do you unwind it and say, "Whelp, our job here is done! We've righted the wrongs enough to compensate for a bunch of dead people's errors."
Also, what about people who who were not alive to perpetrate those wrongs, and are disenfranchised because of that? I, nor anyone in my lineage as far back as I can trace it have owned slaves or participated in bigotry (and in fact fled it during WWII), but simply because I appear to be of one race or another determines whether I get a subsidy, or am forced to pay for it.
So, at what point is it okay to say, "Well, it's okay to subsidize these people because of the color of their skin because many of them were disenfranchised, but it is also okay to ignore these people (and in fact force them to subsidize the other group of people) regardless of whether they were responsible for the other group's suffering?"
I really don't understand.
I don't really see it as "an answer." It's simply changing around who is getting disenfranchised by the system who has a history of perpetrating the rules that enable people to be legally disenfranchised.
Slavery is a statist institution. Who enforced Jim Crow laws? Who prevented regress of individuals in bondage? Who enabled one man to take the life of another (and in fact protected them doing so) because that man simply tried to achieve their own freedom?
The state.
It also acts in the same capacity in the opposite direction. It isn't making whole the individuals who suffered, it is redistributing resources from one group of people (who did not perpetrate these crimes) to another group of people (who were not subjected to it). It's a political pony show and all it will do is cause more racial tension and resentment. Let the dead have their quarrels. There is no need to continue the basis of their ignorance by trying to right wrongs which could not possibly be.
thebeobachter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why shouldn't the question exist?
life_in_the_willage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, yeah I think I'm supposed to choose "European". Fuck that, I'm not European, I choose other and write in "white".
beer_is_tasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet none of them immigrated from Antarctica.
champagne_quaalude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
many black people living in the US are from the north american continent
KokiriEmerald ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, once again African American does not mean "from Africa".
antillus ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:08:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm white as rice and American/Canadian, but my parents/ancestors all lived in Africa for the past 300 years or so... I'm pretty sure that counts for something.
LeeSeneses ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:21:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boers or something?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I get lots of shit too. I'm a little over half native American (Lakota Sioux Pine Ridge Rez) but despite my physical features being Lakota (fat nose, dark long hair, prominent cheeks, easy tan) the fact that my skin is white makes everyone think I'm one of those "I'm 1/2000th native" white people. No I was raised as a Lakota, by my Lakota mother, and am more native than I am white. I'm not some 100% anglo man trying to act hard and reap benefits.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still amazed you guys actually have that on forms.
KristinnK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As satisfying as these anecdotes may seem to many, this isn't really how African-American is defined, for example in Wikipedia it is defined as "an ethnic group of citizens or residents of the United States with total or partial ancestry from any of the native populations of Sub-Saharan Africa."
As you described the kid as white, he probably has no native Sub-Saharan ancestry.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:54:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair many native African groups are naturally white.
Pagan-za ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:25:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In S.Africa we have a race group called "coloured".
The UK and US doesnt seem to like that idea.
unoriginalshit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was from South Africa and I always wanted to (jokingly) do that but never did. Damn. Maybe I could have gotten away with that?
Zombrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Care to give us more to the Story?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean you got pretty much all of it. His family lawyers cornered the administration and said "yo, this is illegal, if you do it you're screwed" and administration was like "aight"
psymunn ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a South African Canadian, I'm okay with him arguing about a label. But applying for scholerships does make him a dick. I mean it's not like White South Africans have a flawless record when it comes to racial issues...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:56:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I think colleges taking a black man over a white man just because they want to look more "accepting" is extremely racist. I remember King of the Hill showed this pretty well when Connie (an Asian girl on the show) wasn't accepted into a school despite having a perfect record and all the qualifications because she was Asian and the school didn't want to look like they only accepted Asians due to an already high amount of Asian students.
psymunn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:01:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The purpose of affirmative action isn't actually about appearing accepting. The theory is more about trying to create a viable middle class in communities that are more vulnerable to overcome systemic poverty and ghettoisation. There's arguments for and against, but the goal isn't about appearing diverse. It's intended to even the playing field.
ilmmad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I checked off White and African-American when filling out the Common App (a college application which many schools accept) sort of as a joke because by dad is from Zimbabwe. It said it was just for demographics so I didn't pay it much thought.
A few weeks later I was offered a full-ride scholarship to one of the schools I applied to as a result. But I turned it down because like you said, it would be dickish to take advantage of that.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:05:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:11:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, most of the people I've encountered on the Internet are assholes, so there's that.
[deleted] ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 00:58:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They should have won--at least in principle--he or she gamed the system at the expense of people who need it. What a dickhead
eitauisunity ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:24:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you assume he didn't also need it?
[deleted] ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 01:28:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because he's white, and from a wealthy country, and such scholarships are designed for people who are black and have grown up in poverty....
RedXabier ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:37:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So being African-American makes you a poor black person?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i mean....it makes you a black person (just google it and read the definition)--it obviousl doesn't make you poor. But it's a pretty good predictor
eitauisunity ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:37:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, because he is white, and, according to you, from a wealthy country, you assume he couldn't have also grown up in poverty? That doesn't strike you as racist?
That is exactly the crux of the issue. If you make assumptions about individuals based solely on their skin color and nationality, you are likely to be way off base and make poor decisions. When this process is systemic it stands to disenfranchise people regardless of those characterists.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The US has 300 million people. If you want to make policy decisions that aren't done on generalisations and assumptions, everyone they concern will be dead before you're halfway done. There is simply no other way.
AmethystRosette ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, white South African here. We were super wealthy, but it's called EXCHANGE RATES. They kind of fuck you over pretty hardcore when you move from a third world country to a first world country. It isn't like it's a direct conversion of all your money- assuming that kid was wealthy in the first place.
FawtyTwo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! Because they actually said that the scholarship was aimed at poor black students! I mean, he was white, he was certainly rich and accomodated. Who has seen a white guy in poverty? Not me, haha. I know that all of those white beggars and white guys in trailer parks are only CEOs having a change of scenery for a while.
Making assumptions about people based solely on their skin color is wrong, not all white people have money to spare and not all black people are in need of a scholarship.
For all we now, the guy in question can be a middle class guy with enough money to pay for a career without the need for a scholarship. That is actually the point of filling out forms like that, to explain their case. The filling of such a form does not in any way guarantee you are going to get it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
african-american means black. google it. it's just a misnomer for christ sake--not everything means its literal translation.
there are 300 million people in the US. policies must be made based on generalisations and assumptions. There's simply no other way.
I am well aware that not all white people are well off, nor all black people badly off. It's rough justice, which is better than no justice.
The real issue is poverty, actually I agree! But that's no excuse for cheating a system meant to help those who are victims of unfair prejudice. What is your point?
"For all we know...for all we know..." again, see my point above. These are generalisations, as is every public policy. get fucking real, we live in a world with 7 billion people.
If 'making assumptions about people based on their skin color is wrong' then we ought to support policies like affirmative action which are designed to counteract the suffering that such assumptions inflict upon people of color every day.
FawtyTwo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see your point and I agree with you here (in general, particular disagreements might be personal views), but your original comment was not about the whole system. Yes, we need to make generalizations sometimes, and yes, assumptions are sometimes made when there is a large group of people that share a common aspect. Good or wrong, it is easier that way.
The thing is, we were talking about a particular case, where a guy coming from Africa, presumably with an american nationality, ticked the box reserved for african-americans. This term, as you pointed out, means dark-skinned, black, from african descent, whatever you want but not white. I still agree with you.
What I didn't agree with you at first, was that the reason you gave to point he was wrong was the fact that he was white, from a wealthy country, and applying for a scholarship aimed at poor black students. Of those three, one is a fact (he was white), one is irrelevant (being from a wealthy country does not make you wealthy), and the other was pure speculation (nowhere does it say it was a scholarship aimed at black poor students).
What I said was that your comment had no ground, simply making it a matter of "he was white, he was wrong".
samkostka ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The system asked "Are you African-American?" He was from Africa and is now an American, pretty much the definition of African-American.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 01:29:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
um, even if that made a difference (it doesn't), it's literally not. Type 'african american definition' in google and see what results....
samkostka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African Americans, also referred to as Black Americans or Afro-Americans, is an ethnic group of citizens or residents of the United States with total or partial ancestry from any of the native populations of Sub-Saharan Africa.
Jules_Be_Bay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a black american; the label is more accurate. Stop with your PC bullshit and just fucking embrace it. Destigmatize the use of the word black in the context skin color and it wont be an issue that people can argue about in order to avoid confronting REAL problems that have a SIGNIFICANT impact to the socioeconomic status of the decendents of a group of people who were brought to this country as slaves, discriminated against by law for a century after a war was fought to replace the slavery dependent agrarian economy of the south with the industral one of the north (in an effort to liberate said people). These decendents have had to face the difficulties brought about de facto segregation, which still persist to this day. Rather than arguing about a label, argue about the ways in which this country can, or cannot (in accordance with your opinion), adopt policies which will help these people gain an equal footing with their white counterparts. I wasn't even born in this country and yet I can appreciate at 18 years the opportunities that living in this country has afforded me and work to broaden the opportunities which those born the descendents of slaves in this country can appreciate. Lets talk about the real problem rather than waste time complaining about how Affirmative Action isn't fair, having to build yourself up from the little that your mother has been able to accrue in the past 6 years earning $20 an hour isn't fair either, but then again there are many who don't have THAT much. Rather than loathing how I don't have what others have, I want to help give what little I have to those who have less. If you think otherwise tell me why and lets discuss our viewpoints so that we may better understand eachother and ourselves. And if this issue agitates enough to talk about maybe you'd also like to effect change in your environment and act. Go vote. People have died and are continuing to die for that right. Don't take it for granted.
P.S. I apologize for the awful formatting and grammar. I'm on my phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with most of what you have said. If you'll read the post to which you're responding again you'll see that I wrote "even if that made a difference (it doesn't)", by which I was intending to imply that labels are not the real issue (and the issues youve raised, are)
eitauisunity ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:26:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you assume he didn't also need it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In what way was it not true?
qwertykitty ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 20:18:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or people who are of African decent from any other country. Or Africans in America. "African-American" is not a catch all term for black people.
jettnoir ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:22:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Black people from the Caribbean. I had one get so angry at one of those government forms where your only choice if black, is "African American". The guy ranted for a good 10 minutes about it.
thenebular ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:18:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the main reason why you won't hear African Canadian. The ancestry of the majority of Black people in Canada is Caribbean.
Arkazia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Did not know. Is it mostly a eastern Canada thing? I don't really ask about ancestry much anyways so it might be a thing here out west and I don't know
thenebular ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:57:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nova Scotia has a large community that came from freed American slaves and of course those from the underground railroad that didn't go back to the states. But by and large it's been immigration from the Caribbean, Canada being in the commonwealth makes it much easier to do.
Traiklin ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:59:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's bad when people in other countries refer to black people as African American, born and raised in Russia? African American, born and raised in the UK? African American, born and raised in Africa? African American (unless you are white)
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This... happens? Do people not know what that means?
jettnoir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Black people from the Caribbean. I had one get so angry at one of those government forms where your only choice if black, is "African American". The guy ranted for a good 10 minutes about it.
mofomeat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:07:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an Arab friend from Libya who unwittingly checked the box on a college entry form because he saw "African". The school rejected his application and he got a big long lecture about trying to game the system and/or being offensive to "African Americans". He was thoroughly confused by the whole ordeal.
dylanus93 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:19:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read an article once about a boy who entered an won a contest for African Americans. People were upset that he was white- even though he was from South Africa.
jettnoir ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:12:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately for us, Northern Africa is considered "white". :(
psymunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except if you're going through airport security...
Kale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African American is only sub-Saharan African American. Egyptian Americans aren't considered African American. Nor are white South Africans.
We're all from Africa. It gets kind of ridiculous to try and truly define it in such a way that it only applies to the amount of melanin in your skin.
mofomeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:57 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you completely, but the (black) college advisor was really on his case about "trying to pass off as a minority for special treatment", when... well.... Arabs from Libya are a pretty qualified minority in the midwestern US. Fwiw, he wasn't (and isn't) a citizen of the United States, so he was never trying to work the "African-American" angle, he was just checking the only thing that said "African" in it somewhere. He selected "white/caucasian" on the next application and got less crap for it.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:57:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Charlize Theron is a true African-American.
Reddy_McRedcap ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 23:25:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New sit-com idea: A white, African family moves to an American inner city and refer to themselves as African American. Cast sassy black lady as a landlord/school teacher/ friend of the family.
Hilarity ensues.
ninja edit: They also have a dog named, Mandingo.
zimtkuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this idea. A friend of mine from summer camp was African American, and lived next door to an African immigrant family. She was marvelling how different her and her neighbors are. Add in the white africans, and you have a great mix.
Housejrwilliams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The white african family teach the black lady about her heritage over a number of episodes whilst learning about the ghetto culture.
El_Chavito_Loco ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:35:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mean Girls?
greenday5494 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just can't ask someone why they're white karen
geoper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:48:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That movie's so fetch.
ColonelScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop trying to make fetch happen, /u/geoper. It's never going to happen.
sectorsight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:48:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandparents were born and raised in Northern Africa. I'm technically African American but am as white bread as they come.
OrganToast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So if you're from africa, why are you white?
Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!
Black-Fedora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course there are people who are black and are from, say, Jamaica.
RhettS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well they are descendants of Europeans.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Calling black people african americans when they don't even live in america.
landb4timethemovie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
emigrate*
You emigrate from somewhere but you immigrate to somewhere.
BourgeoisSwine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case you can call them Nigerian-American or Kenyan-American depending on where they immigrated from. You don't call german-americans european-americans.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or those black people who are not American nor have they ever been there.
Arkazia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention people who are from other countries with black people, or people with heritage there. Jamaica, Haiti, etc.
santaliqueur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Charlize Theron and Dave Matthews are African Americans.
scampbe999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never met a person from an African country who has identified him or herself as "from Africa." They always refer to themselves as Senegalese or Nigerian or what have you. Africa's bigger than the US and Europe combined...
YeastCoastForever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Met an old white dude in S. Africa, we were talking about racism and stuff he was like "I hate it how people call me European, my family has been here for 150 years, I'm goddamn African!" Amen to that.
marmosetohmarmoset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Co-worker of mine is a white immigrant from South Africa. His graduate program tried to claim him as African-American to get some diversity-based grant.
CivilNassar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to call myself African-American because I thought it was funny. Palestine is in Africa, after all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL some Africans are white.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend like that, and I always introduced him as African-American to get reactions out of people. He was the whitest guy I knew, but he was born in Africa so it was great watching people argue that he wasn't really African-American.
dicksypoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, if you're from Africa then why are you white?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know an African American guy from Johannesburg. That honky.
Journeyman42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend from Morocco who wondered if he could call himself African-American. I told him that would be a good way to get his ass kicked.
goatpunchtheater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Charlize theron is African American in every real sense
scottiepooh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine told me a story about someone he knew who I believe was from South Africa. The point is the dude was African (but white).
The white African had numerous experiences of trying to convince people of where he was from, his nationality, etc. because it was too hard for them to comprehend that you can be white and from Africa. Like, "Hahah right. But, okay, where are you really from?"
It's as if people think that instead of being born Africans sprout out of the ground, from the rich and dark soils, and that's why they're black.
redwall_hp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then there are those Jamaican-British people, who are neither African nor American, but overly PC newscaster types have their heads explode when they're told they're not "African-American."
Abino_Bama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or not to mention blacks who aren't even from Africa..
jacktheBOSS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African-American is still not the right term. You would say Nigerian-American or Angolan-Amerocan or whatever. African-American is for descendents of the African slave trade.
al3xmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Family friend of mine is from Jamaica she tells people she is black and not African American
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black people from India. Aboriginals from Australia.
pmmedenver ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:25:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays that term is used a lot when talking about retributions. In which case we should just call them descendants of slaves, niglets if you will.
Kitty_Burglar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your racism is showing.
boatagainsthecurrent ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:40:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had some Somali friends when I lived in Minneapolis. Calling them African-American would at least be accurate
boomfarmer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what do you call a black person who came from the Caribbean, whose ancestors have been there for the last 500 years?
Or a similarly-colored person, who comes from Britain, and has been there for 500 years?
Or a Moor?
boatagainsthecurrent ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:39:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
British African-American duhh
Paradigm240 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or someone like me - an African from South Africa, who's white?
PARADOX
VitQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elon Musk is African-American.
boomfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, obviously, you're a South African. And if you were from Djibouti, you'd be a Djibouti.
Paradigm240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...I meant if I moved to the States. But yeah, it was a shitty joke to begin with.
boomfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you moved to the States, and were a white person from South Africa, most people would say that you were South African instead of African-American.
And if you moved here from Djibouti, they'd say "He's from Djibouti" because they don't know the demonym for the country.
howitis8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get that scholarship money!
Shaysdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I learned something new today, thank you! (And I looked it up- it is Djiboutian.)
rasputine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That article is weird...it talks bout how everyone thinks Sir Morien is white, or that he's often depicted that way...
Go do a google image search for him. Count the number of paintings of white knights you see. I see 1, which is labelled as Lancelot.
crispychicken49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking black armor too? That must've looked badass!
Icalasari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, one of the knights was green?
bool_idiot_is_true ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For my own sanity I tend to view African American as its own ethnic group separate from people from Africa. I just define it as people descended from people brought in as slaves and having a common history in that slavery, the civil rights movement, etc. Maybe the name is not completely accurate but it does separate those exception cases in my mind.
grumpyinternetuser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black is the encompassing term for folks who ancestry(connected directly or through the types of migration) is from the continent + and racial designation. African american is the nationality term for Black Americans. outside of the US, it's Afro-(country).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an inconsistent thing. Just now I described my father-in-law as Filipino-American, because his parents were immigrants from the Philippines and he was born in America. But were they the Filipino-Americans once they became citizens, and is he just an ethnically Filipino American? I wouldn't call my wife half-Filipino-American, I just call her half-Filipino. But, of course, she's also half-white, which is rarely specified in either her native American or adoptive Australian context.
It's like the Obama thing. That dude is literally mixed race or biracial, half and half like my wife. Few people think of that first, though, because for most Americans having black heritage to any visible degree puts you in the black community - even if you were raised, like Obama, by the white side of your family. Then again, living on his own as an adult he gravitated towards the black community, including in his choice of spouse. Still, no-one would call him anything other than black if his wife were white, though I suspect his kids might get called "mixed-race" if they were 75% white instead if 25%.
Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key are another good example - both mixed-race or biracial, but if there's anyone out there who doesn't think of them first as "black comedians", they'd be rare. Interestingly, of course, Peele is both one of the best Obama impersonators and the most ethnically appropriate. ;)
I guess I lean towards specifics in my personal usage. Like how my father-in-law isn't just "Asian", generically, but specifically Filipino, or my brother's wife is Singaporean Chinese, not just "Singaporean" or "Chinese", either of which would lack specificity.
It helps that here in Australia we don't really use "X-Australian" very often. I sometimes hear "Asian-Australian" since Asians are the largest ethnic minority here, but even so I think it's rare. No-one calls our growing African immigrant community "African-Australian", or our long-established Indian community "Indian-Australian".
Of course, in the UK "Asian" means "from India, Pakistan, or the general subcontinent", which sounds extremely strange to me.
boatagainsthecurrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree. Being specific is always preferred. But in the United States specifically, that's not always possible. Most black people trace their family back to slavery and there is no way to trace back to a specific region or country in Africa. In this case, black might be as specific as one can get.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For sure. I mean, the good rule is "use whatever the person you're talking to prefers." But I'd be inclined to "black American" above anything else if I didn't know anything more specific about someone.
akaioi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A little off-topic here, but I've always found the phrase "happen to be [ethnicity]" unintentionally hilarious. It's like I woke up one morning and all of a sudden, "Hey, I'm white today! The heck? And where's my latte?"
huckthefuskies ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:50:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ask Rachel Dolezal about how that feels.
akaioi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:17:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I betcha that's how the truth came out. Little things over time. She must have left her browser on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com one day. Another day a pumpkin spice latte receipt fell out of her bag. A couple weeks later, perhaps, she was seen fondling cable-knit cardigans at Macy's. Then she showed up at an important meeting wearing Uggs. All these little things added up.
Vindelator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a white guy from South Africa. He was an actual African American. Kinda a dumb term.
gullale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Brazil some people have started using "Afrodescendant" as PC term for black or mixed.
So a while ago, our diplomatic service had a selection that reserved some of the jobs available for "Afrodescendants". A white guy whose family came from Africa declared himself as an Afrodescendant, and rightly so. Can you believe the idiots tried to stop him from taking the job?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttUvsrcxKmI
momgi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Muthafuckas be saying "he happens to be black" like it's some kind of unfortunate accident.
Fr33Paco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To this day, it is still awkward calling somebody just like "Black" or something. Like I don't call them African American either. It's weird for me even though I date almost exclusively Black girls. Don't know how to get over it.
soniacristina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Is it awkward calling some White, or Hispanic? There's no reason for it to be awkward.
Fr33Paco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing I don't know, but then I myself don't really say White, I use Caucasian which I think is not correct either. Come to think of it, idk. I guess I'm all screwed up.
PerfectLogic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, just start saying white and black with confidence and without hesitation. You'll notice pretty quickly nobody cares except uptight assholes.
relmeyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a second generation "african-american", I can totally get that. Hell, I always argue there's a difference between calling someone a lack american vs african-american.
halfdeadmoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"lack american" feeds the stereotype of poverty
-Mountain-King- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's even stupider when they're not from America, either. One of my college buddies is from Jamaica, and he gets really annoyed when people call him African-American.
MrHassanSan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I took a music history class a few years ago, and we were looking at the art from an important era to get greater context. The painting was of fancy white German people in a fancy German estate. The fancy white Germans were being served by their black slaves, whom my teacher referred to as "African Americans"-- I guess to not seem rude to me and the other two black guys in class?
I feel like it was more rude that she could never keep the three of our names straight even though we never really talked to each other, didn't look anything alike and the class only had like 10 people in it...
linggayby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A close family friend of mine got really angry when she was called African American because she was Kenyan. She didn't like being called "African" because it wasn't specific enough and she wasn't American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I have always looked at it. If you were born in America, your not African, your American. You might be American with African ancestry, but your American if you were born in America.
pikaras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got into an argument with someone who was against me saying black. I told him I'll call people African American when people call me Caucasian American. Still hasn't happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a teacher who insisted on referring to people as "African American" when in fact they were just blacks living in Africa and having nothing to do with America.
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does she mind being labeled 'black?" When people say 'African American' they just want to say 'black' but want to be PC about it.
TheCrudMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My fellow black'mericans!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. You can be from Africa and immigrated to America, but you are not African American. You are either African or an American. Race doesnt matter.
bobertoq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't born in Asia, but I look Asian. Can I call myself Asian, or just American?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How did that conversation start with a customer at your cash register? "Hello ma'am. Do you prefer to be called black or African American? Or do you like to go retro with negro? I hope you found everything alright."
dylanus93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont remember how it came up. She's a regular, so we know each other a little better than other customers.
placexholder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well... I wasn't born in Mexico, but I consider myself Mexican-American.
drutastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That lady gets it.
Ripper33AU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I think the term African American is a bit insulting. If they're born in the US, shouldn't they just be called Americans? Should we start calling white people Irish or British Americans? In short, I use the terms black and white.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does this topic of conversation come up at the register?
"Paper? Plastic? Racial term of preference?"
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle is black and if he has to fill out a form that lists African American as an option he will select other, he absolutely hates it.
hn3ir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me with my friend who was born in Jamaica in the 70's. Lol.
Yolo_McSwaggpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who's trying to get "African-American/Black" on documents (resumes, and govt papers, and all that jazz) changed to "Ddoban." Pronounced "doh-bain". Ddoban is an acronym for "Direct Descendants Of Black African Natives." As for myself, what the fuck does it matter what "race" you are. All us humans share like 99% of DNA. That 1% is what determines eye color, skin color, eye shape, and all of that. We're all the same, and we're all human, "black/African-American/ddobanian" or "white" or "Asian," or otherwise.
Ihavenootheroptions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I live in the south and if I say that I'm a bigoted racist and need to get my shit together. Wtf!? You have no ties to Africa at all! Your black so what? No difference to me.
Shaysdays ยท 827 points ยท Posted at 17:44:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
The only time I've seen
thempeople take offense is whenthey'repeople are referred to as 'a black,' or 'the blacks.' (Same with the word gay.) It's pretty dehumanizing.Edited to be more inclusive.
Edit again- there's been a couple people, and some non-English speakers especially, asking why this is rude. So I'm going to do my best, but I'm not a scholar, so any problems are my own. Also I'm discussing American English in particular, to be clear. "English" as a term crosses several countries and cultures, I'm only speaking for my own country. I am also white, so I'm speaking from that perspective. So those are my caveats.
There is a long and horrible history of racial politics in America where black men and women were recognized only in the context of their race. And I don't mean in a good adjective way, like the 'first black astronaut' or 'a strong black role model,' I mean in a derogatory noun way like, "The blacks are taking over the neighborhood," or "I wouldn't want my daughter dating a black." Where one small group or one person represented everyone who had something in common with them, simply based on their skin color.
There is an idea in language and social science known as "othering,' the wikipedia article is kind of heavy reading, so I'll try to simplify it- it means talking about people only in the way they are different from you. In this case, the classic example is 'non-whites' vs 'people of color.' One means, "You're not like us, (Us being 'the norm' of whiteness)" the other means, "You're part of your own group.*"
Using terms like 'the blacks' or 'a black' in American English reduces the person you are talking about to one attribute only- their skin color. Sometimes, that attribute isn't a problem- calling someone 'the redhead in the group' isn't a problem. Calling them 'the black in the group' very well might be. It's one of the confusing bits of the English language where even if something seems like they are grammatically equal descriptions of what someone looks like, the baggage that comes with the terms hasn't been resolved yet, or is still used as an insult and it's not always easy to know how the speaker means it. (See; Daughter 'dating a black,' vs daughter 'dating a redhead.' The latter is more likely to be a joke than an ultimatum.)
As for the them/they- I will totally take the ding on that one, which is why I left what I wrote crossed out. /u/endodyne pointed out that the way I originally phrased it was using an us/them idea, like I was saying who would and wouldn't be offended and in context, was using the same sort of othering language with pronouns.
Now- for non-American-English native speakers- I can just about speak (but type abysmally) Spanish and German well enough for pleasantries and make small talk, and I can be polite in American Sign Language, so I have very, very little exposure to other languages compared to you if you've read this far, I will fully admit I'm getting into muddy waters. I would be able to maybe get through a children's book. So take these caveats into consideration, and if I get anything wrong, please correct me...
What I've noticed is that in a lot of languages, you can be what I would think of as blunt without actually being what I would think is blunt. The idea of negro y blanca or weiss und schwarz isn't what that person is, it's what they look like, in a very different way than I would use it myself. (Same with ASL, for anyone familiar) It doesn't have the same baggage as an American English speaker would, because the history is very different. I'm not going to say there aren't racist terms, or that people don't use skin color as a shorthand for "a lesser person," but calling someone a black in particular is a polarizing thing here that it isn't there.
This comment probably puts it best- https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3d4kpu/what_socially_unacceptable_things_are_you_ok_with/ct2gji3
*(note- not that all people of color are the same, or have the same skin color/experiences/life, or even agree with that term to describe themselves! But if you're making differentiations, you need inclusive-as-possible language to do it.)
WACG_Coopah ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:12:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because that makes it an improper pronoun (in and of itself kind of insinuating a level of disrespect). Whereas, black, is just an adjective to more accurately describe something.
Shaysdays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You nailed it. I linked to your comment, I wish I could upvote it more because it's a great encapsulation of the problem.
WACG_Coopah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't take too much credit for it, haha. I have several family members who are black (I know, cliche), and I enjoy talking with them about subjects that can seem touchy to speak candidly with strangers about. And that's how it was explained, and I think, makes the most sense.
Also, thank you for the compliment!
Shaysdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to explain to people why it was rude, and while I felt I had to explain for folks who may not get the language, you had it nailed for American folks.
Whoever said that, I want to send them a cheesesteak. Or a pork roll. Or whatever East coast thing they would like, because damn, that was On Fucking Point.
[deleted] ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 18:39:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of like the "a female" that Reddit neckbeards love to use so much.
_Bones ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 19:44:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the air force, I thought it was a military thing. Now that I'm in college, it seems to be a frat boy thing. I am beginning to suspect it's just a douchebag thing.
Vanetia ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:03:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sokath! His eyes uncovered!
landViking ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:34:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Darmok and Jalad on the ocean.
mybeautifulhooves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mind is blown that other people use that term.... as in non military people
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is definitely a military thing, it's to prevent the use of "girl" or any other derogatory terms for women.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But "women" is somehow offensive? Or what? With Females, it's used as a casual derogatory term as it is. Nobody goes around calling the men "males", so referring to women as females only serves to depersonalize them as some sort of "other" because the US Military is afraid of women.
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do in the Army.
Why is "female" more offensive or different than "woman"? It's a standardized term used to describe somebody that prevents the use of other terms that could be seen as derogatory. It's not about "otherness" it's about needing a term to differentiate groups of people like "I need all the females to fall out" or "that is the female barracks". It's a descriptor, no more, no less.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the Air Force it's "Men" and "Females" unless they're talking in the impersonal sense, such as "I need 3 males from our squadron for dickgazer duty down at the clinic". men and Women are fine terms, "Females" being standard for women is deliberately clinical and impersonal in order to ostracize them since the military has traditionally been a boys only club.
Potatoe_away ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand your first sentence, how is using men any more personal than female? How is "female" more impersonal than "women"? Specifically, objectively and not just how you feel about it, but how is one or the other different? If a bathroom door has "female" instead of "women" on it, do you expect the interior to be different in some way?
I think you're turning a mountain into a molehill here. The whole military is clinical and impersonal. But I see now why the army uses "male" instead of "men" because apparently people can find offense anywhere.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Men" and "Women" has more of a sort of warmth that "males" and "females". It's not objective, but we're discussing emotional reactions and feelings about stuff here, nothing about it can be objective.
Is it a huge deal, worthy of lawsuits and things? No. But it still makes me think you're kind of a douche (not you specifically, of course.), if you use it to refer to women outside of a medical report or something like that.
Potatoe_away ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:23:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like to me you judge people on an irrational criteria, but that's non of my business.
By the way, "woman" has many definitions, the "wife,girlfriend, or lover" one is why you'll never see the military using it.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:51:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Man" has all the same connotations, and yet it is used.
Potatoe_away ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:02:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see no listing of the words "lover, boyfriend, or husband". In the definition
So no, it doesn't. You do realize the military didn't pick that word arbitrarily? The very fact that a dictionary has the word "lover" as a synonym of "woman" means it would be easier for people to either use it incorrectly on purpose, or (more likely) get butthurt over its proper use.
_Bones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've really never heard some redneck on jerry springer or anything screaming for some other woman to "stay away from my man!!!"? I assure you man can be used in every posessive way that woman can.
Potatoe_away ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, that's the wrong usage of the word, if you have to use the grammatical parlance of the ignorant to make an argument it's not a very good one IMO.
Also, who's more likely to file a complaint on how a word is used? The only way to prevent that is to use words that have non-ambiguous meanings. They probably spent millions on studies deciding "female" was the most non-ambiguous and least offensive term.
DialMMM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Female" can refer to an infant. "Woman" cannot.
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well then I guess the military should just make up a word for people with vaginas in uniform, (since they have a need, at times, to differentiate between the sexes) because I promise you some of them will take offense to "women" as well.
absump ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 22:47:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if everyone says it?
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:08:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always sounds like they're talking about a different species or something. "Those females over there..."
mivipa ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:03:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because guys are so much smarter than those damn females. They should take our cringeworthy sexual advances as flattery. 10% of them will automatically die alone, anyway.
-MOPPET- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. It's soo creepy.
neiljt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... or "it" when referring to infants.
_Bones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's more a problem with the English language never developing a gender neutral pronoun that doesn't sound vaguely offensive (it) or arbitrary, forced, and made up (any of the tumblr pronouns).
chaosmosis ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually seen a lot of women on the internet use the phrase "as a female". It sounds unusual, and so I think it might have started out in a disassociating or dehumanizing way like you suggest, but at this point it's been around for so long it's essentially just a benign part of the internet's vocabulary.
As far as using dehumanizing words to use to refer to women goes, "female" is not the internet's biggest problem.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:34:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never see it done outside of Reddit. Sometimes I see women do it on Reddit, too, but I think they have seen guys do it and figured it was normal to do, so they copied it. I cringe everytime I see a woman contribute to this unfortunate phenomenon.
chaosmosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think most of the guys who do it are doing it for the same reasons as the women who do it. It's not something that they think about and recognize as demeaning to women, then intentionally choose to use. Nor is there evidence suggesting it is something that comes about naturally, as the result of their secret misogynist beliefs. It's probably just a phrase that they unthinkingly mimic, since after all that sort of unthinking repetition is the reason most phrases end up spreading. I don't really see any problem with that.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:53:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The uncritical way of mimicking it is part of the problem.
chaosmosis ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Why is it bad if people mimic words without understanding the ideas that are historically behind those words?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I have to explain even that to you, I think you're a lost cause anyway.
Why would it be bad if someone mimicked the n-word without understanding the history of the word?
chaosmosis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's bad if it hurts other people's feelings. But I don't think most women feel that the word female is hateful or misogynist. It's detached and overly clinical, but I'd be surprised if it inspired the same sort of visceral reactions that the n-word gets.
Also, you are a sore sport, lol. Stop downvoting me as though I've done something wrong in having a different opinion than yours. It's very obviously you, because it's occurring just seconds after I comment. I want to have an actual conversation or debate, not an upvote fight.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:21:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay then dude, fine, you use it then and see how women react to it. I really don't give a fuck. No need to badger me endlessly about it. You're not going to 'convince' me that it's somehow okay. But you want to persist, even though you've been told how it's often perceived? Your call, man.
kickass_sis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the problem is that it's often coupled with the word men. "Men" do this, "females" do that. It's indicative of a social structure where men are thought of as real people and women are . . . females. Female what? Female humans? Female tigers? Female joint halves? Also it makes you sound like a Ferengi.
chaosmosis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:42:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that the word female implies that women aren't people. It's an odd asymmetry, but not all asymmetries are misogynist ones. I agree it's not an ideal choice of language, I'm just arguing that it's not a choice so bad people should be offended by it.
kickass_sis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So what do you think it means? Where does it fit into larger systems of sexism in society? Do you take a holistic view of society in which there are complicated systems of interactions that uphold social structures that, at least partially, dictate our experiences and positions?
edit: How do you feel about sounding like a Ferengi? edit 2: How do you reckon the grammatical fact that man is a noun and female is an adjective?
chaosmosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have any strong opinions on where the phrase came from originally, but I think the reason most people use it today is because they're unthinkingly echoing others on the internet who they've heard use it in the past. Since I don't think the phrase causes any negative consequences, I'm fine with that unthinking usage.
Accusing me of sounding like an alien is rude and hostile, when I've just said that I personally don't use that word choice and find it an awkward one. Once I realized the asymmetry existed, I eliminated it from my speaking habits.
Female is a noun as well as an adjective. Also, I've seen the phrase "as a male" fairly often. I don't think either male or female are stigmatizing word choices. I think there's probably a much stronger association between a speaker using those phrases and having an analytical mindset than an association between using those phrases and thinking women are inferior to men.
kickass_sis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I apologize for coming across as rude and hostile. That was unfair of me, especially since you don't use that kind of language.
I disagree that it's a harmless habit. The unthinking repetition of social structures that list men as humans and women as these other things is how we produce inequality in our daily life. While I agree that some people use male as a stand in for the word man on occasion, I would suggest noting the ways in which female is used in comparison to the way male is used.
Even though it is possible to use female as a noun, it does not specify humanity the way that the word man does. I can see that you disagree with me. Maybe others who have not thought about this will take something new from our discussion.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:01:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically that's something black people say.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I highly doubt only black people say that.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nowhere in my comment did I say only. I just pointed out that that's a common black saying
mualphatautau ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:43:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black people are as misogynistic as any other
bgarza18 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't like to be called "a gay."
murderofcrows90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh me either, but maybe for a different reason.
IWantToBeTheBoshy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the Family Guy episode... "If they bleed acid, you've got a gay!"
413612 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any reason why "a bisexual" or "a lesbian" is more accepted? This is coming from a bisexual - I'm just tryna understand this weird language.
HDigity ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:47:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gay is an adjective, lesbian is a noun. Bisexual is both. (Heh).
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't suck any dicks.
trainiac12 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:52:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah. It's giving the person a definite article. The same would happen with "the white"
psymunn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Chinaman is not the issue here.
Wait_WHY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just watched this movie again, forgot how perfect it is. Just a fantastic movie experience.
lancashire_lad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't see the problem. "In the Dutch 1996 football team, there was a problem where the whites would sit at one table and the blacks would sit at another."
Is that a racist thing to say?
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:26:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
conquer69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:23:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people do look for excuses to feel offended all the time.
When no one is offending them, they will try to act offended on someone's else behalf.
SJWs come to mind.
trainiac12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair. My statement is void
psymunn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definite articles are more acceptable for a group because you are describing a comminalty.
NickTheChocolate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that more the tone that they use rather than the word itself?
Shaysdays ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:38:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually the same type of people who talk about 'a black' or 'the blacks' are the type to use that tone anyway.
One caveat- I've heard ESL people use it with no problem, because they think it's like 'a redhead, or 'the blind,' which makes sense to them, but English is more nuanced than that in conversational use.
Soaring_Turtles ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:39:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about something like "that black guy" or something? I live in a predominantly white town and when I go to the city I say things like this and my friends always give me "that look" like I did something wrong.
DostThowEvenLift ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:15:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mention him for a reason other than him being black? Or if you are going bowling and he makes a perfect game a few lanes over, you'll say "Hey look, that dude just got a perfect game!", they look around, you say "that black guy over there", and they get all offended?
IWantToBeTheBoshy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:14:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you flip it back at em! "I'm just trying to be descriptive, asshole."
conquer69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only do it when you need to identify the subject among others.
If he got a perfect game while bowling, it's likely that everyone noticed. But if you say "that guy!" and someone asks "Who?" then I would say "that black guy!".
That's assuming that he is the only black guy. If everyone else is black, and the subject is white, referring to him as "the white guy" seems fine too.
If the subject is the same ethnicity as everyone else, then shirt color, pants, accessories, etc would be used to describe the subject.
psycho_admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have had more white people get mad at me for comments where i say black guy/gal.
For example once I was telling some classmates about how the night before when I was assaulted by a black man while working at the hotel I was a night auditor of. Some of the white women in the class said that by identifying him as a black man I was a racist. The funny thing was the 2 black guys who were in the class listening to the story said no I wasn't because I was painting a picture of the scene and it was perfectly fine.
endodyne ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:49:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't see what you did there.
Shaysdays ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:34:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking "The people who would take offense to being called that." But you're right, I should edit it.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:13:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's stretching it. We've already defined the subjects we're talking about, it's not necessary to repeat that over and over.
He, She, Them, They, etc are not dehumanizing unless you're looking for an excuse to take offense. Those are all correctly used to describe people.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, what do you mean he did?
anonykitten29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're a part of this conversation, too.
iDuumb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the difference in part of speech that makes it offensive. When you use it as an adjective it makes sense and it's just a defining factor but when you use it as a noun it comes off as heavily offensive and it doesn't sound right. I think it's the underlying implications of using it as a noun in order to almost segregate that group and imply they're almost like a different species.
pikaras ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even then it's less about "black" and more about "a/the _____(s)".
Roast_A_Botch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's what the a/the turns "black" into.
"The black guy over there"
In that sentence the guy is a noun while "black" is an adjective used to describe him.
"The black over there"
Now the "black" is the noun and it's no longer a person, but a color you're talking about. It implies that their color defines who they are, instead of being an attribute they have.
maryjanerx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for clearing that up for me.
413612 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks a lot for this comment! It was very informative and well-written. It pretty much summarized a lot of things I've thought/understood but have never been able to put into words.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it? How on earth are you supposed to know that, other than just memorizing it? Is there any logic to it? Is "a redhead" or "a Swede" also dehumanizing?
Shaysdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's one of those things where if you grow up speaking a language, you know it. How would you know what palla means unless you learn/memorize it? Or which words are common/neuter?
The idea is that referring to someone by a part of themselves standing in for the whole is rude, especially if that is often used in an insulting fashion or with a connotation of 'lesser than' or 'not the norm.'
It's probably easier to show by example. Let's say I'm telling my friend Ted that a family (who are black) is moving into the house Ted grew up in, but moved away from:
Impolite: The blacks are moving into the old house.
Less impolite, but not great: Blacks are moving into the old house.
Accurate but still weirdly judgemental: Black people are moving into the old house.
Accurate and descriptive: A black family is moving into the old house.
Also accurate but not as descriptive, if the description isn't germane to the conversation: A new family is moving into the old house.
Does that make sense for you?
wordbird89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very much agree. Makes me cringe every time I see it.
gormster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. In fact the now culturally acceptable form for basically any minority is "<adjective> people". Black people, gay people, trams people, little people, etc.
mslack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are "they" and "them" offensive? The words refer to a group to which the speaker doesn't belong. If you're not black, you can say "they" and "them" when talking about black people.
Shaysdays ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:26:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because not only black people may take offense. Also all black people may not. In the context of the sentence, it looked like they and them referred to all/only black people.
When I originally wrote it, I meant "people who may take offense." Someone pointed out my wording looked off, especially in the context, so I changed it.
More importantly- people may find it offensive. Yes, I could say them instead of black people, but my grouping wasn't accurate to that idea.
JulitoCG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand. Is it the article that makes it worse? I just refer to them as blacks; is that acceptable?
Shaysdays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I expanded my comment.
JulitoCG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow...there's a lot for me to learn. So is othering considered a bad thing? Why should we be inclusive when we try to differentiate?
I'm a physics major of Uruguayan heritage who grew up in the backwoods of Tennessee; all of this stuff is totally new to me >.<
Shaysdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is English not your first language? (I ask this not as an insult, but because it's a common trip-up in translation, even for very good English speakers. Your use of "the article" makes me think this may be the case.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Putting THE in front of any identifier is not good. The whites. Just no.
Torger083 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Adding the articles to adjectives to make them nouns can be pretty shitty.
Greentoads41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My God, this is way more explaining than I would ever care to do. Frankly I'm impressed.
mothsauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. Words that are okay as adjectives become offensive as nouns. I like it.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR: generalization isn't good all the time.
ThatZBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people who post long ass comments, taking the time to be super thorough ever get mad when lazy people like me just scroll passed?
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A well thought out post. Thanks for this.
Blumpkin_Queen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An easy way to describe why calling someone "a black," versus "a black man," is considered insulting is that in the prior, black is used as a noun, and the latter, black is used as an adjective. Adjectives are used as descriptives for nouns, so using black as an adjective is not insulting, because you are only describing a characteristic of a more defining "man." On the other hand, using black as a noun effectively illustrates black as being the only defining characteristic of the individual. They aren't a man, just a black.
MaddenMan73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a white; the whites; a hetero; a straight;
I tried it with those 4 "opposites" and I guess it's all about who is saying it.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:15:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird because those don't even sound like nouns to me.
chaosmosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hetero is not a full real word, and straight is only ever used as an adjective. "A white" and "the whites" sound basically fine to me, if uncommon.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those also aren't people with a history of oppression either.
absump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, is that the point? "Must not use definite article about a people that has been oppressed", is that the rule?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:25:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to the Irish, or the Italians, or the Puerto Ricans...
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:44:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the past 100 years.. excluding Puerto Ricans. Blacks and gays are still highly discriminated against. There's no doubt that being a straight, white male is the highest held classification in America.. and in many western civilizations. Stop trying to belittle that fact.
DostThowEvenLift ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's not trying to "belittle that fact", did you even read his comment? He mentions how straight white males get discriminated as well and you're asking him to stop. He's creating a counter-arguement. Don't go posting things on the internet if you don't want them scrutinized.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:28:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "counter argument" is weak and outdated and somewhat condescending.
Irish and Italian oppression happened over a century ago and lasted some 10 odd years. Puerto Rican-- less than that. That's hardly a counter argument compared to Black Americans, homosexuals, and women who have been beaten, killed, and oppressed for generations because of who they were born.
Et tu?
BlueFireAt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Irish oppression did not last 10 years. It was a couple of centuries, and you could argue it still goes on today.
Shaysdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah- in Great Britain.
There's more 'Irish' in the United States than in Ireland at this point. They're doing pretty damn well here.
BlueFireAt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For sure, in NA it's not an oppression any more, but it does have a lot of history.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
that's why I said "some 10 odd" wasn't sure the exact dates.
Edit: speaking of Irish immigration in the 1800s. It's clear we are talking about the U.S. here.
drogosmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well obviously some ethnicities plights are more important because of their skin color.
/s
Paid_Internet_Troll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, being a filthy rich straight white male is great.
Being a dirt-poor white male named Cletus with a backwoods drawl ain't getting you shit.
thatwasntababyruth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:12:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's because of something you lack, not something you can't get rid of. Cletus can put in the effort, rise out of the backwoods, and become a successful tech CEO or something and be widely respected. If a black guy, gay man, or a woman does the same thing, they will face road blocks every step because of who they are. Even as a successful CEO, they will still get slammed with slurs if they talk to the wrong people or don't tell everyone how rich they are. A transsexual person will have it even worse, they are basically screwed unless they pretend to be 'normal' first (Caitlyn Jenner) or get really lucky, in which case they'll still be attacked constantly.
Cletus doesn't have that problem, Cletus won't be judged for who he is. The issue isn't what you start with, it's what you can't get rid of and how that's still somehow an issue. Basically the only white group that comes close here are ethnic Jews and Romani, and those are both considered separate races in many books.
behemoth5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:58:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you seriously saying that poverty isn't an impediment to success?
thatwasntababyruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, and I don't know how you got that. I said its an impediment that can be willingly overcome. Those blocked by it can get past it, they always have the choice to get out given enough effort and maybe the right opportunities. You cannot just change your race, gender, or orientation. It will always be there and will always be an impediment to further success. Wealth comes and goes, these things do not.
behemoth5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If all it takes to break out of poverty is willpower and effort, then the impoverished are poor because they're lazy, which means it's their fault. That is the implication of what you're saying, and it's surprising to hear that from someone so ostensibly against oppression. You can't "just change" your socioeconomic class, although you might get very lucky after working yourself to death, but probably not; you can't pull yourself up by your own bootstraps if you can't afford bootstraps.
You're also forgetting that there are cultures and fashions that go along with socioeconomic classes, and those give off signifiers of class by which people discriminate. What comes to mind when you think of "white trash"? How about the way people sneer at poor whites? It's true that given the education and money and healthcare and some way to replace their ingrained behaviors/dialects/etc. with those of the upper crusts, a poor white person could be accepted as a non-poor white person, but then Cletus would have to give up "who he is" to not be "judged for who he is," because if he looks poor, he'll be treated worse. And a poor person doesn't typically have access to those things, since they're poor.
Also, I don't know why you think something has to be unchangeable to count as a basis for privilege/oppression. Socioeconomic class oppression/privilege is like the Ur-axis in class conflict discourse (which largely derives from Marx, who was unsurprisingly most concerned with the oppression of the poor). Poor people are still marginalized and at a great disadvantage in society even though, hypothetically, given the right opportunities and resources--which they largely lack on account of being poor--they might get out of poverty and also manage to present/act/sound (in a word, "pass") like they'd never been there, but, again, probably not.
There doesn't seem like any sound basis to exclude the poor from the ranks of the authentically disenfranchised, and it smacks of good old-fashion just-world classism to do so.
thatwasntababyruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Again, there is no classism to it. I did not say "hard work is all it takes", I said hard work and luck. It is not about how easy it is to bootstrap oneself up from poverty into being a totally respected executive. Its about that even being an option. That is why SO MANY PEOPLE still say racism is prevalent.
The concept of white privilege isn't trying to belittle the poverty issues that every group faces, it's trying to make everyone aware that straight white men are the only group in America that have the option to never be persecuted simply for who they are. It doesn't matter if a black guy ends up as president, it still hits him at every turn. That's the privilege.
behemoth5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not the only kind of privilege, and it's ludicrous to deny that the well-off are privileged and the poor are marginalized (socially as well as economically) for such an arbitrary reason as the hypothetical mutability of their socioeconomic status. If you don't think poor people aren't persecuted for being poor, you've never been poor. I'm not denying that straight white men generally have it better than those who aren't straight white men, I'm entreating you to consider class to be a legitimate axis of privilege and marginalization, along with sexual orientation, race, and gender.
thatwasntababyruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm aware that wealth comes with its own privilege, but focusing on that has the effect of denying the existence and effects of straight white privilege, which society is in a place to actually do something about.
Classism is a totally different beast that just doesn't factor in, and is going to take hundreds of years and some revolutions to do much about.
behemoth5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it doesn't. This isn't a zero-sum game. We don't have to ignore some disadvantageous conditions in order to acknowledge others.
Agreed, but I think by contrast you're being overly optimistic about racism and sexism, etc.
I'm seeing now that our disagreement is more a matter of emphasis, and not so much of substance. I'm content to leave it at that.
JohnDingles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except what if all cletus wants is to support his family? What if he doesn't desire to be something great just modest? He still will get shit for coming from there, enjoying activities others don't, or his accent.
thatwasntababyruth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:11:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's his choice. It's totally up to him. He gets to make the decision. That's what everyone means by privilege.
JohnDingles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just as it is everyone else's choice in America.
Paid_Internet_Troll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you're entirely wrong, but you're both overstating your case a bit, and understating it.
Basically, life isn't fair. It never was, isn't now, and never will be.
There is no combination of political, sociological, or cultural factors possible for human beings to implement (now or in the future), that would create a "fair" completely-even playing field.
Any group of beings sufficiently different from today's Homo Sapiens Sapiens that they were able to create a completely fair and just society, would no longer be human.
There will be no Star Trek future, unless you mean the one from the various Mirror-Mirror episodes, and then, yes, that will probably be what the future looks like... as a best case scenario.
So agonizing over how one group in particular seems from an outsider's perspective to be the least affected by unfairness, as some sort of prelude to trying to fix the world and "make it fair" is a pointless task to appoint yourself to.
TLDR: People will always weaponize whatever the fuck they can their hands on or wrap their mind around in order to get a leg up on you.
The whole SJW (Social Justice Warrior) shtick is just more of the same. Same shit, same game, just different players.
ColonelScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those groups were oppressed obviously, but they weren't oppressed because they were white. In the same way, plenty of straight people have been and still are oppressed, but no one has ever been oppressed for being straight.
MaddenMan73 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some Jews identify as white - holocaust denier?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or when you call us them or you people...my people are not from Africa though. Jamaica is my land even though my last name is Scottish and my great great grandma is 100% Native American. That's just from my black half though.
twlscil ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, it really isn't... people might take offense, but dehumanizing it isn't.
Snowfox2ne1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:54:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, it is other white people getting offended on their behalf.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:47:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could become dated and be deemed offensive in time. I'm surprised the NAACP is still the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and the UNCF is still the United Negro College Fund. I'll stick to the abbreviations if I'm going to mention them.
Null_Reference_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:28:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
90's kids remember.
BitchinTechnology ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:05:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you remember the 90s?
I do, there was a while saying black was a big no no
s34ttle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends where, but yeah in the 80s/90s... some people still got bent out of shape about that.
Never forget one of my college housemates tried to get on my case when I described a guy across the street as black instead of african american. She said "you aren't supposed to say black, you are supposed to say african american".
I looked at her, and the guy across the street, and back at her, and said "I have no idea if he is american or not. I only know he is black". Meaning... for I'll I knew, he could have been a tourist from France... but he was still black.
BitchinTechnology ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't get it either... my friend is African American...he is also white (and slightly racist ironically).
My other friend is black, but is neither african nor american... unless Dominican Republic is Africa?
sfink06 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:13:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I was 12 when the 90's ended so I do remember a little bit of that going on. But to be honest no one I know ever took it seriously.
BitchinTechnology ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats because you were a child. There was a time saying black was taboo.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's fine as an adjective, as in "Hey do you know that black guy Jamal?", but it can come off as awkward perticularly when used as a noun, as in "Hey do you know that black Jamal?".
African-American is just stupid on so many levels, although it does allow you to say "Hey do you know that African-American Jamal?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only white people take offense to it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White people take offense to it.
peasant_ascending ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
only white people are offended at the term "blacks".
NotAsSmartAsYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing is, they don't realize they are confessing their own bigotry...
By taking offense, they confess to regarding the term "black" as derogatory.
Kelend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you?
African American was the PC term in the 90s, and it was pretty hard to avoid.
XxDrummerChrisX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get shit for it. But it was middle school
Doctursea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen 2 black people get offended and a bunch of white people insist on the term. I am not African in the least bit, so I don't see why its apart of my title.
3600MilesAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly white people
eraof9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are some black people taking it as offense , or at least they say that to make people feel guilty.
SomalianRoadBuilder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ironically it's mostly white people who get offended by it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only white people do this, black people really do not mind being called black. Just don't called them colored or negroes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I definitely worked with a girl who tried to get me "fired for being racist" because I said she was black. The situation was that someone (who didn't know what she looked like) needed to find her. People were describing her as tall, wearing a ponytail, kinda light brown eyes... Everything but her race. Finally I just blurted out "she is the only black girl working today." My defense was that all the people trying to describe her with anything BUT the color of her skin are the ones acting like it's something to be ashamed of. "Black" is not a slur. (It turned out they all knew she would react like that and I didn't.)
Mikeavelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a thing in the 90's, and maybe the early 00's as well. My memories of that period blur together a bit.
Everyone just sorta've agreed it was silly and stopped caring about it somewhere around 2005.
cyncantspell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have. It's absolutely ridiculous.
Funny part is, the people that get offended by it typically say white people instead of Caucasian, and will call all Hispanics Mexican.
TheCodexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone I've seen take offense has been white.
Itsnotironic444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm white why can't they be black?
1234098756 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I've ever seen this is when someone is offended on behalf of black people. My 7th grade teacher was like this and wouldn't even let us write "African American". Instead, she made us refer to them as "A.A."
frideswide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen a person of color take offense to the term, but it makes White people squirm.
duelingdelbene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's mostly offensive if you over emphasize their race as if that's all they are.
Although we had two people named Cat in our friends group and we called them black Cat and white Cat for years and they were fine with it
deong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I vaguely recall it being a bit of a thorny issue when I was a kid (I'm 40-ish now). But today, I don't think anyone has a problem with "black", except as another commenter mentioned, when it's "a black" or "the blacks" or something like that.
dirkforthree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They will take offense to anything
coffeecoffeebeerbeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher here-- using the word "black" is the worst damn thing a person can do in the public sphere. Apparently every dark-skinned person is african american, even if they aren't
moonsout_goonsout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's mostly white people that are offended by the word black.
oonniioonn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only white people do.
Puff694 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen a black person be offended by being called black, just like I've never seen a white person be offended for being called white.
However, I have seen MANY white people be offended by the word black. I really never understood that one.
FunkShway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only hipster conservatives that ever felt "black" was bad.
DatGrass14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only white people
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen so many people get offended at it it's not even funny, unless the person who says black is black. I swear it was a meme at some point, because any time someone said black under any context at all someone would reply "DATS RACIST"
dpatt711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about the imaginary social racial warriors reddit invented for the sake of circlejerk?
BeaversandDucks2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The police
miked4o7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As somebody that grew up in the south, the only people I've ever met that are afraid to say "black" are older people that actually say all sorts of racist shit when they think only other racist people are around. It's some weird misconception they have where they think "black" and "tar baby" are interchangeable, so if you're in company where you shouldn't say one, then you probably shouldn't say the other.
bamahoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oprah did when Raven shot her ass down live on her own show, saying she was black, not African American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was to describe someone once, and when I said he's black, some lady got all offended at me for saying someone was "black" even though she wasn't even part of the conversation
urbanadultblunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's mostly white people who are afraid of calling someone black
lostinthoughtalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a black lady in her late 40s/early 50s and I said something about someone being black and she corrected me to say "African American".
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember it being a big thing in the early 90's. Doesn't seem to be as big an issue with people these days.
CrazycolinPro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people who take offense to the term 'black' are white people
Paranatural ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:53 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually it's white girls and other sjw's
Defttone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of that one seth rogan movie where they make a porno and a guy ordering coffee says something along the lines of "Venti coffee, black" and the black guy says something like "that'll be 5.62, white".
guitarguy12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to live where you live. If I'm out with friends and even mention the color "black" in a sentence, I'll get a response like, "excuse me?" or "whoa that's racist" or some stupid shit like that. It either comes from a friend in the group or from a passerby. It's extremely annoying and completely unnecessary. Never have I once showed any signs of being racist or intolerant of blacks. It's not like I'm insinuating there should be some form of social segregation. Fuck those people.
_caponius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you live in California or New York.
guitarguy12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pennsylvania... close enough
RoachPowder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"British African-Americans"
dgmilo8085 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:47:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a major shift in "cultural awareness" in the 90s in which the term "black" became racially insensitive. I don't know when it came back around as unoffensive, I believe thats where the major push for "African-American" came from. However as many people point out, not all black people are African nor American, so it doesn't really fit.
MightyPenguin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:05:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Negro is black in spanish, time to freak out SJW's.
The_Other_Manning ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:38:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people. I used the term black to describe a person once, well actually a bunch a times but once in this particular situation, and a black lady got all offended and said it was "african-american" then she proceeded to call me white boy. Like what? Bitch..... I'm only half white
Jamison321 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a guy who goes to my school and gets offended if he is referred to as black, if you ask him why, he says its "Because he's Jamaican, not black".
I don't think he understands black is a color and not a race.
paradox037 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:49:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people just look for reasons to be offended. Some of those people are black.
captshady ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:19:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
We also have the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, but it's not okay to call black people "colored." My friends tell me they're black, so that's what I'm going with until I get a new memo on the subject.
Edit: wrong "they're"
Nik_Tesla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:13:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Call NAACP is the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, but we certainly aren't going to call them Colored. Anyways, I do agree that Black should be acceptable.
TTHtv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hyper-sensitive white people who feel white guilt and think they are protecting the black community
u38cg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By all accounts, it varies a lot by country.
BleedingKing11493 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And let's not forget "Black Entertainment Television."
itzepiic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it's called the Congressional Black Caucus, I'm calling them black
ryan-ryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was interesting that it's the shortest month of the year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought so too... Friends from the Virgin Islands and she wants to be called black. She's not American. Yet.
sectorsight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh, it's calls African American Ebony People of Color History Day.
bmony1215 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to upvote you because you had 999
Snuzzlebumble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean, "African American History Month."
badmother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and MOBOs
SnapCrackleNPopU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is the shortest month though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, but we also have the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, so don't rely on that reasoning. That's a holdover from earlier on the euphemism treadmill.
http://englishcowpath.blogspot.com/2011/06/euphemism-treadmill-replacing-r-word.html
ChurchillianGrooves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only unacceptable to white people who get offended on behalf of black people. I've never met a person of African descent who was actually offended by being called black.
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's acceptable but its annoying how everyone in the media uses African American because its the politically correct option somehow, but I think that will change as people slowly start to realize the over correction that is the rampant political correctness that surrounds us.
two ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If anything, the reverse is true. The term "African American" is being phased out in favor of "Black American" as a racial descriptor. The former term is most likely what will get you into trouble.
1-900-USA-NAILS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, we also have the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, so.
But in all seriousness I think black is becoming a lot more widely accepted than African American.
freehunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing with the term "colored". When I was in college, my grandma was visiting and she used the term "colored people" and my (white) RA later commented that my grandma wasn't politically correct because she said "colored". If it wasn't acceptable to use the term, the NAACP wouldn't be called the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. It would be the NAABP.
yakovgolyadkin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:26:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because an organization that was named back when the term was acceptable hasn't changed their name yet doesn't mean the term is still acceptable. If that was the case, the United Negro College Fund would probably work on changing their name really quick.
freehunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The communications director for the NAACP in DC says the term is "outdated and antiquated but not offensive".
JohnDingles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:24:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck political correctness
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:54:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's their word.
maliciousorstupid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:13:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We also have the NAACP - but pretty sure there aren't a lot of people that are still cool with 'colored'.
RhettS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:38:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the NAACP stands for National Association for the Advancement of Colored People but if you call someone colored you might get an interesting look.
Bear_faced ยท 4004 points ยท Posted at 16:29:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started to dislike when people say African American when I met my Haitian and Jamaican friends. "Not every black person is African and not every African is black."
TonySoprano420 ยท 2158 points ยท Posted at 17:28:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we need to just realize were all American in this country. My family hasn't been from Italy in a hundred years, how am I "Italian-American" exactly?
Plecboy ยท 4112 points ยท Posted at 18:01:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just look at your username, you know.
TonySoprano420 ยท 321 points ยท Posted at 18:31:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Sopranos absolutely nailed this issue perfectly during Tony's trip to Italy with Paulie and Chris.
"And you thought the Germans were classless pieces of shit." From the moment they stepped off the plane they were in a foreign country, not the motherland, and it was exemplified every step of the way.
Knowledge930 ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 18:59:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I just get some macaroni and gravy?"
Very true. Also when Paulie asked the prostitute where she was from and it turns out she was from his family's hometown. He was so excited and she was like "Yeah... cool whatev..."
TonySoprano420 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:52:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to hoof it back to the Excelsior. I gotta take a wicked shit.
Knowledge930 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:44:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Commendatori!
triple_OG ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:53:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
David Chase glances at Paulie unimpressed
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 20:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the one where the crew is getting worked up about Columbus Day as a sign of ethnic pride and Furio is all like, I dunno why you get worked up about remembering a Genoan, northerners always treat Sicilians like shit
zuppaiaia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:33:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, I never watched the Sopranos but now I think it might be fun.
TonySoprano420 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You absolutely should. In my opinion the best show ever made.
FittyTheBone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man I still wish Furio would have come back into the picture.
darkboyutz ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:59:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh... what a masterpiece of a TV SHOW.
Now I need to rewatch it again for the 5th time.
bonerzbonanza69 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:09:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in."
darkboyutz ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:51:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Leave the fuckin' cheese there! All right? I love fuckin' cheese at my feet! I stick motherfuckin' provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning!"
triple_OG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:55:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chrissy warned Matthew...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just started it for the first time. It is defintely pulling me in.
Potatoe_away ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You lucky bastard, you get to watch them back to back while some of us had to wait years between seasons. Oh and it gets way better after the first season IMO.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but its gonna be over so soon. There are ups and downs to bingewatching for sure.
Potatoe_away ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Space it out then, have a Soprano's night once a week where you only watch two episodes.
darkboyutz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You lucky son of a bitch.
I'd give my left nut to be able to see The Sopranos again for the first time.
TonySoprano420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you get to number 10 I bet you'll still find new things that are amazing. I did.
zn01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes they did. I was delighted to see that you brought that up- that storyline in the Sopranos is exactly what I thought of when I saw that first comment you made. I always think of the part when Tony (before the trip) excitedly asks Uncle Junior what it's like seeing their "people" over in Italy, and Uncle Junior basically just says that at this point it's been so long that Tony has more in common with Tonto than he does with the Italians.
zuppaiaia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am italian and I want to see that episode!! Which season and episode?
TonySoprano420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Season 2 episode 4 I believe
BrodyApproved ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:53 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect example, bro. Glad I found this.
Frostiestone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:40:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rekt
teefour ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:39:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does that name come with a blowout and 5 gallons of muscle milk?
YeastCoastForever ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read this in Morty's voice. "O-o-o-oh Rick!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet his dresser smells like moth balls.
I bet he has Italian trinkets on the dash of his car, or dangling from his rearview mirror.
I bet he owns more than one shirt that reveals a disturbing amount of his body hair.
I bet he's gone to school chewing on a toothpick when he was trying to make a look for himself.
I got nothing more. I actually love Italian culture, they really have the tight family thing down pat, and the food's amazing.
Matt6453 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think Tony Blazes it?
COCAINE_EMPANADA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:59:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He did peyote and went to a casino once, so I think he may have smoked at some point.
gla55yeyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
actually in that episode he did as well
triple_OG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yup, after he sleeps with that same girl that got him the Peyote and went to the Casino with she lights up a joint in bed and he takes a hit.
Plecboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Erry day!
gla55yeyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You see him take a few hits of a poorly rolled joint when he's with that Peyote girl after they bang and he's all 'this is good shittttt'
AquitaineHungerForce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
might have worked better than prozac
2galifrey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zing!
PonerBenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I get it. 420 blaze it.
The Italians are marinara farmers.
Plecboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Finally, someone gets what I'm saying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
F
betterthanyoda56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out. Italian American confirmed
One_pop_each ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Capiche?
benshiffman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He needs to add "ski"
Plecboy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that more of a Polish thing?
benshiffman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, I've always heard it as Italian, I might be wrong though.
Plecboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Third paragraph. Educate yo'self before you wreck yo'self!
zuppaiaia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely eastern european. K is not even a letter of our alphabet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By that logic he might as well be dutch
RealStumbleweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait - why doesn't anybody refer to me as an English-American? I'm going to start insisting upon it. Knits brows, "I'm not white - I'm English American".
ciabattabing16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Confirmed
tarants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that make him Entalian-American?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That username is actually Italian-Jamaican.
Paid_Internet_Troll ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:24:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not true. There are plenty of Canadians hidden among us. Sleeper agents.
Politely... oh so very politely... waiting to strike.
vdubzzz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:59:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asian-American, but was born in the US. I don't consider myself half American and half Asian, but I still think it's important to some to embrace both sides of their ethnicity.
conquer69 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:26:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are mixing ethnics with nationalities.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:05:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Power to you, I think you should be proud of your heritage. But I'd argue that you aren't Asian-American... you're an American of Asian decent. And that's just as cool and also more accurate.
vdubzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All semantics really. When I say Asian American, that's what I mean - American born of Asian descent.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yah, but this an instance that I think the semantics matter to the discussion.
With all due respect you probably live the American half much more than the Asian half. For me and most people of European descent, that makes us American, not Irish-American or German-American.
I don't know if it's truly a "double standard" per say but it is self-contradictory semantics. You're an American of Asian descent as much as I am an American of Irish descent. So why isn't everyone just "American" first and foremost?
In the end it's all just speak anyway. I don't think anyone's choice of hyphenation is oppressing anyone but it's an interesting talk nonetheless.
vdubzzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yea you are right about me haha. However there are plenty of 'American born Asians' who identify more with their "Asian" side, spend more time in Asian communities, all pending on their upbringing. But then I guess that's the beauty of America, because they are just as American as both you and me :). Which I guess was your point as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what Asian American means...
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying to forget your heritage and traditions. I'm just saying if you go back further they were from somewhere else before they were from Asia, but eventually they became Asian. The same thing happens here.
mudbutt20 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:25:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you are an American of Italian descent. So depending on your upbringing and family you may still retain features and customs that are Italian. But yes I agree, after a while you are just American.
TonySoprano420 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:28:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I still retain features and customs that are Italian. The Christmas Eve seafood feast is one of my favorite days of the year. But if I travel to Italy, I am 100% a tourist.
illstealurcandy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:22:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What exactly is "American"? Scotch-Irish-Anglo customs?
seewolfmdk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe pseudo-German added in? (No, Lederhosen and Oktoberfest aren't German. That's Bavarian)
Zwilt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:52:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just call myself European-American when I want to make the point that we're all Americans in this Country if you were born here. But even if you were born somewhere else, I will consider you American if you support the U.S. and live here. We were and still somewhat are called the melting pot for a reason.
TonySoprano420 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:01:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're called the melting pot because we're supposed to melt and all be American. If I'm Italian-American and you're German-American and he's African-American then we haven't melted shit.
Unless you're actually one of those things, like Obama.
Zwilt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:13:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know. It's to prove its stupid to call ourselves only half American. We're our own country too and sometimes we don't recognize that on a small level.
cnwilks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard Edward James Olmos say "salad bowl" instead of melting pot, and I like that a little better. And, speaking as one of the most arguably caucasian people in history. I've always been a little envious of people who had more of a cultural identity. I'm a bit over 1/4 Irish, but otherwise just a mutt. I always wished that I had a grandmother from the old country who made huge pots of some sort of ethnic comfort food all the time.
passenger955 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just to let you know that is a phrase that has been around for just as long as melting pot. Other phrases that mean the same thing, or have a similar meanings are mosaic, quilt, stir fry, etc. I prefer quilt myself. It's a bunch of little pieces, that are all different, coming together to make something much bigger and better.
passenger955 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk i'm on the other side of this. I think there is melting going on there. To me being american is as much being able to walk down the street and see multiple types of people from different backgrounds, as it is anything else that people describe as american. It's looking over at someone who is wildly different from you, accepting that, and maybe taking in a little of their culture. That's where the melting comes from. You are from an Italian/Mexican/ whatever family, but you can take in other traits from other people too. I don't want to walk outside and see everyone behaving the same way, believing in the same things, and looking the same. That sounds boring to me.
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's my point
Watty13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually think Britain, and mainly London is more of a melting pot than American because of this. Because of the Empire so many different nationalities and ethnic groups are there and at this stage they all define mostly as British. Probably helps that Britain itself is a union of 4 ethnic groups so adding a shit tone more from India, Africa and China didn't see like a big deal
laturner92 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you were born in this country or have single-citizenship, you're American. If you personally immigrated from another country and have dual-citizenship, then you are blank-American.
un_internaute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love Italian Americans. So much better than Scandinavian Americans. German Americans... enh, we're okay.
TonySoprano420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if my heritage includes Italy and Norway lol?
un_internaute ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:16:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! How often do you ask yourself to not be so loud?
USxMARINE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nortalian
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's Cherokee Indian in the mix too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
un_internaute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're at a picnic/potluck and theres only one seven layer bar left, what do you do?
CrossCheckPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'd assume your hairy and loud?
TonySoprano420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Loud Yeah, definitely not hairy though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TonySoprano420 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:25:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to go, definitely on the bucket list.
But I have absolutely no delusions about the fact that I would 100% be an American tourist and not an Italian.
Matthew212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer german Polish American for myself
normlenough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
love this sentiment. at least two generations on all sides of my family were born here and lived their entire lives here. I am not a "European American."
juschillinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose because it's important to recognize that civic unity runs parallel with ethnic unity, preventing social fractures forming.
SoulFire6464 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I feel. Unless you came to America from another country you're not (Insert Country Here)-American, you're just a fucking American.
badjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we're*
vitaminz1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An American of Italian descent.
LifeIsBizarre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just start referring to them as English-Americans and they will drop it pretty quick.
therationaltroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a disingenuous argument. "Americans" do not have a single uniform cultural identity. The Mormons in Utah have different cultural traditions then your Irish Catholics in Boston. Thus, placing a blanket label American for everyone in this country is not helpful. In turn, "African-American" refers to specific ethnicity among black skinned people who were born in the US and descended from African slaves. It should obvious that an African-American has a unique cultural identity that is separate from Nigerians or Somalis, and so, I don't see the harm in that label.
An African-American who is moving to Portland, Or may be more interested in a neighborhood that is predominantly AA and not Ethiopian. What are you proposing this guy post on the Portland subreddit, "Hey, I'm an American moving to Portland? Can someone tell me the best American neighboorhoods? BTW, I'm black and my great great grandparents were slaves"
Finally, I am of South Asian descent, and I have a different cultural heritage that is different from yours. Thus, to call both of us American is fine, but it can be more helpful to use more descriptive labels.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The two aren't mutually exclusive.
Joris914 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is that the term African-American was bastardized from a pure expression of descent to an expression of skin color. Since you're white, nobody will think twice to call you American. But if it's "impolite" to call a person black, but you need something to describe how he looks, African-American is the socially accepted standard.
rogohas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is an amazing respose. I respect you for preferring to be American over Italian. Its your place of birth, your country. I can't stand when Americans call themselves 'Irish' or 'German' or 'Italian'. Its like... You're american you don't live in Ireland or whatever, be proud of that fact, there is no need to associate yourself with another country when yours has its own history and culture different to where your ansestors are from. It might have been a country of immigrants, but you guys are old enough to distinguish yourselves as American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm 1st generation so maybe things are little different for me but I guess one of the best parts about being American is that I can call myself whatever the fuck I like, and if you don't like it, it's not my problem haha! so I use Sri Lankan American sometimes depending on the context. I'm also from Queens so when people say Italian-American, Greek-American, Chinese-American, whatever, it is a source of pride really
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an immigrant it's definitely a little different. People immigrate to different countries all the time. It just only seems to be in America where we become afraid to embrace it.
TheExtremistModerate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ethnicity. It's distinct from race. "African American" is a race, "Italian-American" is related to ethnicity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, you're not Italian American your just of Italian decent. That term should be saved for first generation Italian immigrants only
kyriose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Canada! We're all Canucks up here! No African-Canadians or Italian-Canadians. Only french Canadians, but they're a weird lot so it's better to keep some sort of line.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not everyone in america is -american.
LurkAtMeGo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So true. Especially since whenever you go outside the U.S. you will be called American and laughed at if you claim to be Italian or German or whatever country you're in.
jesuskater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about 'we are all americans in america'?
curiiouscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I identify pretty strongly with my roots, as I'm second generation and a lot of my family still lives in Eastern Europe. I identify as American, but I'm a lot of other things, too. It's cool that you've had different experiences, but I don't think it's so far fetched that a lot of us have more complex ethnic identities than just "American".
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ethnicity, and heritage, and nationality are not synonymous words
curiiouscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say they were
mfg_colour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or you're just a person and you aren't American especially when you're a tourist coming to Canada and you call someone African-American
Mirrorflute88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I wouldn't consider myself Ecuadorian American if I weren't exactly half and half. Dual citizenship, one parent from each country, completely bilingual from the beginning, I've spent considerable time in both, etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being asked where I'm from bothers me more then it probably should.
My earliest relatives not to be born in the United States were my mother's mother's father. He was born in Germany and immigrated here with his family as a boy. So basically my earliest relatives to have spent any significant time living in another country is my mother's mother's father's parents. Why would I consider myself German?
That's like a person born and raised in Texas insisting he's a New Yorker because his great-great-grandfather lived briefly in New York.
Joevual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
European-American.
candypuppet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh as an European, I've always found it a little weird how Americans would tell me they're Scottish or Spanish or whatever and then they'd name a great-great-grandfather or something. By that logic I could claim like 7 different ethnicities. It's so irritating to hear an American tell me "yeah I'm also Polish" and then have them say that they know jackshit about my country. Just say that some of your ancestors came from there!
Why do some Americans claim cultures they obviously know nothing about or make such a big deal of some ancestor, that immigrated to the US? I never understood it. Someone explain?
ralexs1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly I'm half German on my dad's side and half black on my mom's. My Great grandfather came here in the mid 1800s my black ancestors had to have come here pre 1807 yet for some reason I'm african american not German American.
Notacatmeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bippity boopity, that is how.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most recent relevant origin
RopeADoper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see why people use white or black, honestly. It's easy to describe, yeah, but so is "dark skinned" and "light skinned." Adding "skinned" to the description makes us seem more of the same thing, which we fucking are in the first place. Bad history shouldn't keep racism alive forever.
Watty13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is so weird in Europe, there is no one over here backing this up. You are not Irish/Italian/Russian etc American. You are just an American.
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Black people in Britain are just British is the argument I always use.
Edited for a correction
Watty13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah there is no Black British, maybe on paper but day to day life its just I am British, oh and yes I'm black if you need to know. Its better because at the end of the day if race is the insignificant issue we make it out to be then why would we focus on it so much or bind it with nationality?
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't call yourself "African-British" you're just British.
Yung__Lean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a tourist office so I meet a lot of Americans traveling here.
It's always fun to hear them explain that they're "Swedish Americans".
Just because your great grandfather traveled here in the 19th century to find a job doesn't mean YOU are a Swedish American, you're an American and shouldn't feel the need to declare that you're not only an American but instead a Swedish American.
It's not like American and Swedish culture is that far apart. Of course I understand they're connected with their roots, but saying you're a "Swedish American" just sounds stupid to me as a Swede.
They often feel the need to talk about "Swedish cuisine" and tell me how wonderful her grandmothers meatball recipe is.
Be proud of being an American instead! I'm more interested about learning about your culture than my own!
quicksilver_riot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basketball- American?
lethal909 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Attack helicopter -american
HungInHawaii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you are in their Mafia...
petit_cochon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:13:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
American-Italians sounds weird, though. I prefer Italican! Or in my family's case, Sicilican!
lead999x ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 17:32:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, I referred to one of my teachers as African American and she politely said wasn't African anything, just black.
247dying ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 19:27:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MISS AFRICAN AMERICAN I HAVE A QUESTION
lead999x ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:33:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite. This teacher was mad cool though and everybody loved when she'd read books because her accent was mad cool.
halfdeadmoon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, enjoy a good reading of Song of the South
lead999x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of accent?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:53:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African American
lead999x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sort of like Jamaican but slightly southern American too. It's hard to explain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like from the Bayou (spelling)?
Sknyjdwb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or Gullah/Geechee. I love accents, even though I have a terrible one.
lead999x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure what that means but It's hard to describe but suffice to say that it was awesome. If she did audiobooks I'd buy them.
DRACULA_WOLFMAN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are worse things he could've said, I guess.
punk_ass_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For the last time, my last name is Black!"
Kelend ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:15:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
10 years ago, the situation was completely reversed. I called my teacher black and got sensitivity training.
Now I'm really careful about using African American cause it was well indoctrinated in me. Unfortunately its swung back towards Black as being the appropriate term, so I seem backwards.
PRMan99 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:40:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing is, the media just went wild with it and never bothered to ask any black people what they thought of it.
My only friend who likes to be called African American is a white guy from South Africa.
Kelend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um, no. Jesse Jackson pretty much championed the cause in the late 1980s. The push came from the black population, this wasn't something forced on them.
(Disclaimer since its probably necessary, I'm not saying that ALL blacks supported / wanted the change, just that the political push originated from prominent black leaders)
lead999x ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:23:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just use whatever if people act all offended just tell them it wasn't meant that way. If they sill complain that's their own fault. Oh and in my case, I'm not white either so that just adds to the fun.
TheExtremistModerate ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And she's wrong.
gmoney8869 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being of african descent is literally the definition of black.
designgoddess ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:48:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college I lived in an international dorm. We were so excited when we found out we'd be getting three students from South Africa. The year before we had protested the imprisonment of Nelson Mandela. We were all looking forward to hearing what they had to say about life under apartheid. I go to pick them up at the airport and here come three white guys carrying tennis rackets.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:06:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So this was during apartheid? In retrospect it was probably highly unlikely they'd be black.
designgoddess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. And you are 100% correct. The students, who turned out to be pretty cool, laughed at us. We were young, idealistic, and naive.
MySausageIsGiant ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 17:40:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every black person is American either...
odie4evr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:19:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're all American on the inside.
guiltypleasures ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The democracy within us wants to be set free. and the oil
thrattatarsha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to explain this to my mom when we lived in Europe. "See, Mama, most of these people have never even seen America... Even the white ones, yes."
TheExtremistModerate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African Americans are by definition American, so using it on anyone not American is an improper use of the word.
Roast_A_Botch ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the term wasn't invented to describe black people living in Europe, but ones who're American.
MySausageIsGiant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it's okay to call black European people black?
cereblown42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:32:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jamaican people I know always call themselves West Indian. Are you from CT or FL?
litodagooner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm
cereblown42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good. Send me some spinach patties packed with dry ice. I'm in Michigan now and the West Indians on Mackinac Island are too busy making the Grand Hotel function to make me any.
PatrickBecerra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mackinac Island on a Monday? What are you, the President?
hamlet_d ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:15:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a teacher and one year taught a book about two friends in Apartheid era South Africa. One was black, the other white. Her students couldn't figure out to how to refer to them. They tried saying "the African-American", but my wife rightfully pointed out that neither child was American. She continue and told them that black and white were indeed the best terms.
For the record, most of African-Americans I know don't take offense at the term "black" if it isn't being used perjoratively. Source: ethnically diverse group of friends from church and elsewhere.
trillskill ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:09:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit, everyone knows Australian Aborigines are African-Americans.
JimmyChitwood15 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:41:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. Had a South African buddy who was white. Identified as an African American.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People born in the U.S. can identify as Native American. The term that most applies to the original natives should be Aboriginal Americans.
rebelcanuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's not allowed.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:02:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Although totally different cultures so I don't know why somebody would want to be so edgy.
CrystalLord ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:28:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
South African here who's living in the states (though not white). It's not I want to be edgy, it's just the most accurate term for African immigrants to the states.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it is not. They are called South African Americans. African Americans are a cultural group formed by a bunch of ex slaves in North America, predominantly ethnically/racially south saharan africa, their race is black. White South Africans are a group of whites who settled in Sub Saharan Africa and who enslaved the people there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_immigration_to_the_United_States
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_African_American
CrystalLord ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:28:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... not gonna call myself South African American. Never heard that term in my family ever. Just because the term exists doesn't mean it's used in practice.
The Dutch colonists in South Africa enslaved Indonesians, Indians, and folks up the Horn of Africa, not the Bushmen. We don't call those slaves "Indonesian/Indian/etc South Africans", now do we? They are just known as South Africans, because they were born there.
Plus, should I call my friend Mozambican-American instead too? How about Kenyan-Americans? That's kinda silly mate.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is not as silly as deciding you are a totally different group.
Yes, you figured it out there. Is this an English comprehension thing?
CrystalLord ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:52:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, legally I mark myself as African-American. Why? Because I chose to do so. And I chose to classify myself as so. And unlike South Africa (where they still do have some race classifications), in the USA, race is something you can choose on every piece of paper.
They even give you little check mark boxes to declare your ethnicity! You can put whatever shit you want on there, because they have absolutely no right to tell you your ethnicity.
Say person X looks white, but they have descended from those specific slave groups you mentioned. Who is to tell them they are Anglo-American or African-American? Who is the true judge?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are the true judge. And you have admitted you understand the difference but choose to ignore it to be edgy.
CrystalLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never in my life seen a checkmark box that says "South African American".
You can read up on the standards here, but here's the quick relevant quote:
I'm not arguing if there's a difference, I'm arguing that the term African-American is wrong, and ignores immigrants.
Resorting to ad hominem is pretty low. I'm done here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should stop intentionally misrepresenting yourself you little shit.
ProbablyRickSantorum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_African_American
gmoney8869 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:28:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was a retard then.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically they are African American.
They live in the Americans, hence "American". And black people in Haiti are just as much from Africa as black people in USA. They had slaves on Haiti and Jamaica to.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically you are wrong. A West Indian American is their group. It is about culture.
gmoney8869 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Techincally, and in every other way, he is right. You can be both west-indian, and african.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:24:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African American is a proper nouns for a group of people separate from West Indians.
gmoney8869 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, any American with sub-saharan african ancestry is african-american. If Obama is, they all are.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you are an idiot.
gmoney8869 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Much more likely you just don't know anything about black people. A west indian slave descendant has far more in common with a typical black american than Obama does. He is about as far from the "group of people" you mention as an african can get, and he is considered african american.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either way you are still an idiot.
gmoney8869 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure I'm not, I would entertain any argument you might have though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obama has covered that. It had been an issue years before he ran for president. It has been covered. But I will bite. Why do you disagree with his views?
gmoney8869 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? I never said anything about his views.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obama's views on his own race, in that how others view him has impacted how he views himself?
gmoney8869 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He says he's AA, blacks say he's AA, whites say he's AA, everyone agrees.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suggest you find an interview with Obama where he explains the faults in your views on race. His self identifying as African American instead of Multicultural was a big one among the African American communities he started his career in. You should not be spewing blatantly false information to race bait people.
dsjunior1388 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:10:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is big in Canada too, where a lot of their black people are actually from Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica, Haiti/Domincian Republic or other non-African countries.
Imapie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:35:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't they descendants of displaced Africans due to the slave trade? So they are as African or not-African as "African Americans".
I remember here in the UK for a while people used the term "Afro-Caribbean". In hindsight, that's a stupid term. Why not just say "Caribbean". I guess it was so that one racist could make sure that the racist he was talking to knew he meant "black guy" without being overtly racist.
turkey_gobble ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:08:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those countries are in the Americas. Every country in the western hemisphere is in the Americas.
Edgeinsthelead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mrbaryonyx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Idris Elba is my favorite African American actor"
MySuperLove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haitians and Jamaicans are descended from African slaves though.
Even if a black man's family has been here since the 1700s, we still call him African American. Why does this term not also apply to those African-descended people whose families lived on Atlantic islands for a few years?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nor are they always american.
TedTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with someone who immigrated to the States from western Africa. When someone else described her as African-American, she laughed and corrected them: she was African, not African-American.
My GF is black, but has never referred to herself as African American. I always assumed that "African American" just means that you're trying to be overly PC.
ToastedFishSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also not every black person is American.
Req_It_Reqi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a white American immigrant born in Africa... legally a white African American. It's kinda annoying haha.
mdragon13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle is from kenya. He was originally from the european colonies, and when he married my aunt he came to america. Therefore, my white uncle is african american, as are his 3 kids.
phasers_to_stun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly my problem with it.
FrankReynolds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like when Vanity Fair called Idris Elba "African American".
He's English.
And they corrected their article by changing "African American" to "nonwhite". He's black, it's okay to say that he's black.
Tigerbones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my Dad's coworkers like's pissing people off with stuff like this. He's a white South African, accent and all. Purposely fills out African American on forms and waits for the shitshow.
normlenough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Americans that happen to be black, Americans that happen to be white, etc . that way the most important thing comes first.
XSplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a Haitian teacher in a Canadian school who'd say he'd get a kid at least once a year who called him African American.
ChatnNaked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Charlize Theron isn't "black"....
Zencyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty much why I'm going to say "black" no matter what. As far as arbitrary racial classifications are concerned, I don't think we need to give the concept more respect by dividing people further. Conceptually, we should be trying to unify everyone into a single race instead of trying to divide everyone by either their skin color or their ancestral origins.
snakesnake9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But surely those people originally came from Africa as their forefathers aren't actually native to the Caribbean.
Tenacious_Ignatius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. My parents are Trinidadian and this is always awkward when they meet my white friends
j_sunrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best thing is if American people call black people living in Europe "African American". Some people really are that stupid.
ac161 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my professors referred to me as "african-canadian" and the way he said it you could tell he was proud of his "political correctness" but honestly, when someone tries so hard in terms of what to call me it just tells me they're focusing on my race way more than they should. We weren't discussing race in class and for other people who use it in casual conversation there's no need to bring up my race. If race is part of the conversation I feel weird being called anything but "black" or "mixed"
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every black person has anything to do with America either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you go back far enough we're all from Africa.
HeyItsCharnae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom is South African and my father is American, so technically I'm African American, yet 100% white.
Sketchin69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of Oprah Winfrey spazzing out on Raven Simone when she said she is American, not รfrican American`. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXAho8vlmAI
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black is the best way to describe black people. It's not racist anymore it's true. I almost feel like African American is a more racist term than black nowdays.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, I don't have time to always say "af-fri-can am-eri-can" "black"... it saves time.
effedup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they're not all american either.
FutureExMrsGoldblum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. My sisters father is Haitian and she's always been annoyed by the "African American" label. It made me realize from a young age not to assume a persons heritage.
RhettS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't Jamaican blacks and Haitian blacks and whatnot descendants of African slaves?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus I was talking about a friend from the Bahamas I met at school to some of my buddies and they were like "oh so he's African American then?"
"No he's black. He's neither African nor American."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White South African here, "African-American" is annoying as hell.
maryjanerx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know 2 white african-american families. They have duel citizenships. They grew up in south africa.
anxiety23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also not every black person is American.
Echo9Eight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People should start refering to white americans as "european-americans" and see how they like it
cheesebiscuitcombo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a non-American I find it difficult to understand certain terms. For example 'people of color' - does that just mean everyone who isn't white?
TheExtremistModerate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The idea is that if you can call an Asian person who immigrated from France an "Asian American," you can do the same thing for people of native African descent that came from the Caribbean.
ownage99988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who's dad is white and South African and he insists on being called an African American because it's funny
Icrashedajeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, not all people of African descent live in America.
I_FIGHT_BEAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now every black person is american. I think black is and should be the more accepted phrase. Yes, their skin is technically dark brown but still.
Ziazan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're often not american either.
Roast_A_Botch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair black people from those countries were also descendants of slaves taken from Africa. I still think AA is a stupid term, but for different reasons.
I think they should just be called Americans same as whites, unless we're going to start labeling whites as Irish/German/a little English-American as well, which will get ridiculous. Scholarships and other aid should be based on income and other factors such as neighborhood you grew up in.
leaveitoutlads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those Haitians and Jamaicans also came from Africa originally, so still African American. But i do get your point.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the BEST is when people refer to BRITISH black people as "African American". same with black Canadians, etc.
psycho_admin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I started to hate it when I meet multiple South Africans who moved to the US and had their American citizenship but where white. If they couldn't use the term African-American then fucking nobody can.
Powder70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not every black person is American.
utunga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No but every black person regardless of what continent they or their parents come from is ultimately descended from Africa... Because everybody is descended from Africa. Boom.
sandrakarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've met two honest-ta-god 'born in Africa' African Americans (although I'm actually not sure if one of 'em was American). Both were white.
I also recall when my dad and I were watching one of the World Cup games last year and he made a remark about an "African American player's skill", and I responded with a " ...he's black". I get a look in return, to which I respond "He's playing for France! He's French!"
ekaceerf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a hot African American girl once. She was white and pale and had a dancers body. I guess what I am saying is I dated a hot chick.
groundhogcakeday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None of my black friends are American, so I can't use African American at all.
thebornotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to high school with a kid from south africa who was whiter than I am, I always referred to him as my african-american friend. He had a green card and everything.
sevargmas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's inconceivable that black people could come from Haiti, India, Trinidad, Dominican Republic, Brazil, Australia, or Jamaica. :/
polarisrising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It's rude to refer to every dark skinned person as being from Africa.
tangoshukudai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They were African, just like the American ones were.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Its not even remotely accurate.
Visaals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My Haitian friend doesn't mind because they were brought to Haiti by the French from Africa but ya know
josiahpapaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why in Canada the PC terms is "Black" - the majority of our "black" population is from the Carrib.
Stormhammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I remember having a friend from South Africa. White as can be. He would always put African American down, and would piss off quite a lot of black people, and he would challenge them on them being african american lol
youngstud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait,what?
every black person IS of African descent.
no matter if they're from Jamaica or Haiti..what are you talking about?
do you not know where black people come from?
_Peanut_Buddha_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, black people that live in America are not African American they are American
KokiriEmerald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jamaican Americans would still be African Americans typically. It has to do with your heritage and ancestry not literally where you're from.
bluegender03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But every black person is black. No confusion there.
eqleriq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
um, well, history books, etc.
ferretersmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually every black person is african, though they may not be from Africa themselves.
TiSpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always like to think how confusing it must be for everyone involved if a US citizen travels overseas (England, Australia, etc), and refers to black people over there as "African American".
I'm sure black people over there are used to it by now, and maybe even use it as a litmus test, to determine a persons social IQ.
skazzbomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the last time the world had 1 general term for black people, people got a little sick of it after a while.
Thunder254 ยท 898 points ยท Posted at 16:37:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in England with some friends a couple of years ago. One of our tour guides was black. One of my friends insisted on calling him an African-American when we were talking later that night. I still don't know what she was thinking.
[deleted] ยท 685 points ยท Posted at 18:19:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You listen to me African-American, I know what you like to be called because I am a very non-racist white American.
Jerlko ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:54:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Regular American"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Original American!
AllezCannes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:37:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best American.
wracker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Englishman.
CWHats ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:42:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've had more than one white person correct me when I use the term Black. My people, my choice. Sheesh
TheNotoriousReposter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:05:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That British English African-American wasn't happy with me at all!"
absump ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:54:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like to be called? Even if an Englishman likes to be called "African American", he still isn't one.
wracker ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:04:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can assure no black englishman likes to be called african american
yeshaveanother ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny and etc., but what's the answer? Genuinely curious.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:07:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK, we just say "black".
Personally, I get unreasonably annoyed when anyone says that is offensive. I also don't see the need for the term "African-American".
SlackJawCretin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:15:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mix of attemping at being PC by taking the emphasis off skin color and America's obsession with heritage/culture defining identity. German-american, irish-America ect are commonly used but since decendents of American slaves can't know which country their ancestors are from, African American is a catch all. People never really think about it and end up referring to all blacks as African American regardless of actual origins
Edit: spells
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it makes a little more sense now, thanks for the explanation. I still think it's pointless though.
Mred12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:20:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Black" is generally acceptable. If you're being formal use "Afro-Caribbean" but that's used very rarely.
vinegarfingers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, woah, woahhhhh. That's Caucasian American to you, pal.
Ninja edit: .
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for channeling my GF's satire-o-speak for me :P
Dr-Kipper ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:01:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You are choosing a book for reading
gmoney8869 ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 01:31:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't believe you or any of the other people who claim to hear people say this. Nobody is that stupid. You all just think its funny to mock a perfectly fine term.
Harry101UK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:57:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You really underestimate the stupidity of some people.
gmoney8869 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:01:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you're british, have you ever heard a black brit be called an african american?
Harry101UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I havn't personally, but I've seen people do / say much dumber stuff, so I wouldn't put it past them.
books_shmooks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:13:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else find it a little weird that the guide's race came up at all later?
"Our African-American tour guide said..."
I'd find the mention of their race weird in itself, terminology notwithstanding.
supercerealthrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was so confused when I went to Paris and saw a lot of shops that had "Afro-Americanique" on their signs (they usually sold weaves and hair products marketed towards/made for black people). I pointed it out to my tour guide, and she had honestly never thought about it before.
apoliticalinactivist ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the weave was popularized by african-americans? As in, non-american blacks are more ok with the traditiaonal afro, so the straighteners and weaves are considered to be the black american style ->"African American".
supercerealthrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:28:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great viewpoint! I was a dumb 15 y/o eating codeine cough pills like candy when I was there so I never thought of it that way! Plus I'm white. So I know pretty much nothing about natural African American hairstyles vs relaxed hair and weaves.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend is a moron. I know black people here that would punch her for that. They'd think you're taking the piss.
Saelstorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Super late reply, but I remember seeing an interview from the Olympics or something, and the reporter was talking to a British runner who won the event and she kept saying "As an African-American how important is this win?" and other things, and he kept telling her he was neither African nor American, he was British.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of us are taught to never say "black" to refer to a person's race. EVER. Amongst the people I grew up with, that was considered racist, and if for some reason you needed to mention their race, you had to say African American.
Thunder254 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how this girl was. It was still confusing for the rest of us though.
Roninjuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She wasn't. We do it so much here that's a second nature knee-jerk.
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone cant use logic in that situation it really shows you the power societal conditioning and political correctness have to make 2+2=5
hattmall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I have some black friends from Europe, I love to call them African Americans! As they have never been to Africa and aren't Americans, i find it hilarious.
flunky_the_majestic ยท 515 points ยท Posted at 15:40:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially with Reddit's global audience, where many dark skinned people would never identify as American.
[deleted] ยท 680 points ยท Posted at 15:50:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, not everyone in Africa is black
Not-Jim-Belushi ยท 550 points ยท Posted at 16:40:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not every black person is African
Chioborra ยท 833 points ยท Posted at 17:46:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not all white people are from Caucasia. Whatever the fuck that is.
TenNeon ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 17:56:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a region in eastern Europe.
scrotalobliteration ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:13:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that where the race originated? I never put 2 and 2 toghther, huh.
TenNeon ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:22:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A person who founded the field of anthropology considered the people of this area to be most representative of one of the races of the world. I don't think it was ever meant to describe an origin.
Polskyciewicz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was thinking of Circassians, by the way.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:06:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. That theory is made up 19th Century bullshit.
Indo-Europeans probably originated in what is southwestern Russia or eastern Ukraine. That includes Iranians and northern Indians as well as Europeans.
ViperhawkZ ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:55:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I.e., right next to the fucking Caucasus.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:07:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the same way that Texas is right next to Nevada.
mdkss12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... i mean the caucusus literally run through southwest Russia from the caspian to the black sea...
DBCrumpets ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:40:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://historyofenglishpodcast.com/09-Indo-European-Homeland-LO.jpg
It borders the Caucasus but it's a bit further north.
mdkss12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's fine, I'm just pointing out that if that guy wants to say the origin is southwest Russia (without more elaboration), he shouldn't bitch when someone says that's right next to the caucusus
flukus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The proto indo-European (PIE) language, of which almost all European and Indian languages can be traced back to, seems to have originated around there somewhere.
ToastyFlake ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:04:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's right next to the African-American Sea.
Tutush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a region in Western Asia.
awesomeoctopus98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh wow. Does that mean I'm not caucasian even though Im white since my family is from Ireland Germany and England?
TenNeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no- the original meaning of the word referred to the place, and I suspect it still can in the right context, but it was given a different meaning a couple hundred years ago to refer to a larger group of people.
ErikTheRedditor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:26:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well TIL
snootus_incarnate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't really make any sense for white people to be referred to as Caucasian exclusively. I'm white, but my ancestry is Western European, not Eastern.
Lumion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:05:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naw it's in Colombia
Arsewhistle ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:43:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An incredibly small proportion of white people descend from Caucasia, Caucasian is just as stupid a term as African American.
enigmaticwanderer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:49:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caucasians are "people fromย europe, the middle east, and northern africa"
scootstah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you can be African American and Caucasian at the same time?
Mind blown.
enigmaticwanderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess?
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...a black and a white can also fuck to have a mixed kid, too
scootstah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess if you play your cards right, you can tick all the bubbles.
Vamking12 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:16:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Southern Russia, Caucaus mountains area
Coconuteer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:16:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Russia
Ish
SunshineAlways ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Russia. Caucasus Mountains.
K-Mark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means to come from the Caucasus Mountains, which are located in the Middle East. Most "Caucasian" aren't actually from the middle, but rather Northern Europe.
Foxfire2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Caucasus region, between the Black and Caspian seas.
PM_ME_YOUR_RHINO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caucasian mountains, although they're not white there, funnily enough.
Stewbodies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, there's the Caucasus Mountains and the Caucasus, a place at the border between Europe and Asia and between the Caspian Sea and Black Sea. That's probably where the word Caucasian originates, but I don't think I'm from that area. Not sure why Caucasian became a term for white people.
Picnicpanther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caucasus. Caucasian actually comes from the area around Armenia, Azerbaijan, and Georgia.
muideracht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Between the black and the caspian.
Th3NXTGEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Caucasus of Russia; a mountain range in Eastern Europe
a_talking_face ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not all blue people da ba dee.
JudeOutlaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like... The cock of Asia except a little bigger.
takoisam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caucasia is full of non-white people.
kovensky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caucasus.
hboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, I know this! The Caucasus is in south-west Russia, and that's where the word Caucasian comes from. Don't know why it's got to do with being "white" though.
jared1981 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Caucuses
paramoreconverses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasus
busmans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would be the Caucasus area, near Iran ("Land of the Aryans")
IonicSquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caucasus
dirtmerchant1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A mountain chain Armenia, home to people who seem not entirely Caucasian.
crazydave33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caucuses. Caucasians are originally from the Caucus region of Russia. Which apparently now has turned into a region of great political instability and is now home to a large radical Islamic population. Originally whites who were considered Caucasians came from this part of Russia.
PM_ELBOW_PICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Caucasus
Def_Not_A_Llama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Near Ukraine
varangianist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*Caucasus
DolphinSweater ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:37:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
According to the first line of the wiki page, it's either The Caucasus or Caucasia so if you're going to be pedantic, you should try at least being correct.
varangianist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay then :) thanks for the information!
HammletHST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Topography, yeah!
Spartanhero613 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:02:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it means "Around Asia", including Europe. So, like slightly larger than "Eurasia"
TheFreshOne ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:56:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every Indian is from India!
gsurfer04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half of them are in the UK
TheFreshOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And Canada.
gsurfer04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't there more east Asians in Canada? At least, that's my observation from living in south Ontario.
TheFreshOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on city, I guess. Within the GTA, East Asians have taken over the Eastern areas (Richmon Hill, Markham, Scarborough, etc.), South Asians have claimed most Western Areas (Brampton, Mississauga, Milton, etc.)
gsurfer04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in Waterloo.
GoodHustleOutThere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not every Jim Belushi is you
Stefy98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not every African is American.
TheHawkinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not every Africa is person black.
sourc3original ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not every person is black.
alekzander01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See: Aussie Aborigines
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And not every Africa is a person... Black.
justinponeill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every African is from Africa
chictyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elon Musk, an African American.
gmoney8869 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No he isn't.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Technically if we trace our ancestors back enough, everyone's family came from africa
gmoney8869 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually yes they are, that is the definition of black.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No its not you idiot. Does anywhere in the Caribbean just not exist now?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:11:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's cousin's dad is from Africa but is white. He applied for an African American scholarship and said he was African American on his application because he was.
When they saw him in person they denied him the scholarship because although he was African, he wasn't black.
He's not a lawsuit type of person and could easily afford college, he just wanted to see if they'd give it to him.
Neetoburrito33 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah because white people in South Africa are descendants of Europeans. Black people get scholarships because lots of people treat them differently because of their skin tone. The government even defines African American as a person having origins in any of the black racial groups of Africa.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, incredible.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so tired of this urban legend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This little story is posted every time this topic comes up. I'm a white African, too, and everyone I know tells me the same story, usually a friend of a friend of a friend.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird, it actually happened to him but maybe it just happens a lot. I've never heard of anyone else doing it before.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right.
stayCHAY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or American, amiright?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not in the good parts of Africa.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is true, but what does it have to do with the discussion?
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seinfeld
bylka213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Algerian here, can confirm. If I had a dollar for every tim I've been told "but you're white how can you be Africa?" .. I'd probably have enough for a movie and some popcorn.
CrazyCatPerson123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're from Africa, why are you white?-
Paradigm240 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, Karen...
Akanke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:38:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very little Africans are black.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you mean like midgets?
TenNeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They prefer to be called 'pygmys'.
Akanke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
English is not my traditional language.
I meant very few Africans are black.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no worries my friend. just having fun with you. :)
Akanke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's good.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this big "that's racist!" kerfuffle on LJ where someone was talking about someone who was black and French and they said the person was African American French haha
SilasX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, US Foreign policy.
If we didn't have the whole Iraq thing, Jamaicans would be falling over each other to say they're "American in spirit, mon!"
Well, not really. But they wouldn't feel dirty about doing that.
kway00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who doesn't want to be American???
usualsuspects ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:27:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To my knowledge, "black" is actually the preferred term for a lot of people. A lot of so-called "African-Americans" have no connection to America, nor do they consider themselves "African" since their families are often-times quite a few generations removed from the continent.
I suppose it depends on who you ask, though, and where you are. I was talking to some South African girls about how, when they moved abroad, they were told off for using the term "coloured." In South Africa though, they said it means someone who's not "black" as in of African descent, but rather someone of Indonesian/Malaysian decent, and is a socially-acceptable term.
Wearenotacodfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes, I have friends who are South African Coloured / Cape Coloured and to call them anything else would be to insult and erase a heritage they are proud of.
PoniesRBitchin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In APA (the writing method used for psychology and other human studies), Black and White are fine to use for race, so long as you capitalize them.
sunjay140 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm not black, I'm brown.
pushforwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I am not brown, I'm mocha.
tallhokiegirl ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 17:25:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or even just using a person's race to describe them. "Hey I need a signature from a guy named Bob, do you know where I can find him?" "Oh he's the black guy that works in IT." "Racist." But he is the only black guy in IT and his race is a fact that would help you find him....
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can always argue that if the label/identifying word doesn't bring down or elevate a race from other races, it isn't racist. Just how calling an old person old isn't ageist and how calling a man a man isn't sexist. In each case, they may not appreciate it, but it's very neutral.
tallhokiegirl ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:52:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do. But I think a lot of people think pretending not to see race is the only way to not be racist. Which actually feels more racist.
absump ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:57:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that it's silly, but how is it racist?
WhiskeyHoliday ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:33:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the wariness about describing him as black also stems from the fact it might be a lot less often that you say "the white guy," and instead just say "the guy with the goatee." Obviously not a problem when there's a majority black workforce but can see the discomfort potential that one race might feel more "normalized," like white people are like Kleenex is for tissues or something.
KallistiTMP ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:44:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I think it implies that to outright say someone is black would be insulting, like it's something to be ashamed of. See also: any sentence that begins or ends with "for a black guy".
SlackJawCretin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely think that is part of it. The other part being that when asked to describe someone having nothing to offer but "He's black" feels offensive to say rather than "Tall, balding with glasses" or whatever
tallhokiegirl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:23:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying this is true for people who do this as this is only what I assume they think, but to me the logic only makes sense if they themselves have certain negative associations with a particular race. So they are tolerating a certain race and they think pointing out a race is wrong because of their own stereotypes. It's like have pointing out race on the same level as pointing out that someone is bald or overweight. It would only be inappropriate to use it the way I did if they thought it was bad. Does that make sense?
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK, I understand what you mean.
No-vem-ber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think because the person hearing it is assuming that 'black' =insult. They're being racist by assuming that black is a bad thing.
Not sure I necessarily agree but I think that's where they're coming from
MaddenMan73 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:56:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree to an extent. However if there is one "black" guy in a room full of white people it makes more sense for identification purposes.
Kinda like Eminem at the BET awards, you know the "white rapper" in row 2?
sunjay140 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:49:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mac Miller? I see him!
PRMan99 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:43:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got in trouble for saying, "You know, the bald guy" once.
followUP_labs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:02:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh. Me too.
Harry101UK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hairist.
blackpony04 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:59:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst are newscasters who won't mention race when discussing a wanted person story likely for fear of being politically incorrect. Um, after their sex their #1 identifier would be race! We recently had two Indians (Native Americans who only refer to themselves as Indians here) rob a gas station (native owned and called Smoking Joes of all things) on the Reservation and not once when they were being searched for did their race ever come up in any of the newscasts. It happened on a Reservation for crying out loud!
tallhokiegirl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:25:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, stuff like that is excessive. Especially if there is no picture to show of the person they are looking for. How else are people going to know what to look for?
Polite_Werewolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:40:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Well, I could argue for the opposite opinion too. If they're searching for someone, it makes sense. But if the newscaster says "An African American man was arrested for car theft today..." Why mention their race?
blackpony04 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:06:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was specifically referring to a search situation which is why it's so messed up. Police are looking for 2 male suspects in connection with an armed robber. LeShon X and Tyron B.... It happened enough in recent years that I took notice.
absump ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a valid question. Maybe it's of casual interest, just like age and sex.
ghsghsghs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In your example why mention the sex?
KallistiTMP ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:41:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I hear people use terms like "dark skinned" in this context. I think that's retarded, because then I don't know if they mean dark skin like full blooded African or dark skin like well tanned European. So I just go with black, white, native american, latino, etc.
Sometimes white people make a little mildly shocked face but so far haven't gotten shit for it, and I shouldn't because calling someone black is not an insult.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
SheeEttin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White and black are okay. Yellow and red are not. Asian and Native American, respectively. Why? Because black people aren't necessarily African. They could be Jamaican. (Although if you went back far enough they probably did originate in Africa relatively recently, but the culture has diverged enough.)
And of course there's the name for the indigenous peoples of America. Native American or American Indian are the two safe ones, typically.
Dr_Bukkakee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a police dispatcher and its funny the level that white people will go to describe a black person without saying the word black for fear of sounding racist. Even when I say is the person black or white some will say, "well he's not white".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my imagination kicked in and can see you in HR's office
SlackJawCretin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite thing. I had a job basically as a greeter, and it was my job to get customers into an office with sales people. Usually they had a relationship with one of the sales people but couldn't remember names. Only one of the sales people was black, and watching white people do the mental gymnastics to not say "the black guy" even to me, fellow whitie, was great. It made me much more aware of how sensitive people are to being assumed racist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being more accurate would be even more offensive. He's brown. But that just sounds bad.
Then again, we don't call pink dudes pink, so there goes that, too. It's all just weird.
On one of the forms at work, there are two separate spaces for race designation, one being hispanic/nonhispanic, and the other being white, black, etc.
Which means that according to the form, being hispanic is not different from being white.
Race is all kinds of confusing.
And I probably offended someone. Sorry!
bettercawlsaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He's the most handsome man that works in IT"
silvermember ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 18:01:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's look at your particular scenario.
I think the reason people negatively react to your situation is because rarely do people (usually whites) use racial descriptors when talking about other whites, but they have no problem when talking about blacks.
"Oh he's the white guy that works in IT."
If the guy was white would you have added that adjective? another possibility especially common on reddit is that, people like to overemphasis the one time someone negatively reacts to their comments, but ignore the other million times nobody does. Your experience seems to be one of those cases.
tallhokiegirl ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:16:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would add white if he was the only white guy. I use whatever characteristic is the most distinct. If they were asking about someone else in IT that was white and the only guy with red hair, I'd say he's the red-haired guy in IT. If there's multiple races I use race and something else. And you're right, in most cases no one seems to care. But my point is that, in my experience, I have only been accused of being racist when saying a person's race by white people when identifying non white people.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:45:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
silvermember ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All I am saying is that a lot of the times racial descriptions are used when they are not necessarily needed.
Wearenotacodfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And white is considered the default. The neutral. So a lot of people, like my mother, will only mention someone's race if they're non-white.
LifeIsBizarre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One-legged Asian Ginger Goth... good band name.
vengeance_pigeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My situation is not the same (I'm white) but is analagous. I'm the only woman employed by my department. I have no real issue with people identifying me as "the woman who works in [X]".
But I WOULD have a problem if people saw that as my only identifier, or confused me with other female employees of the company because we're few in number, or didn't bother to learn my name because it's just as easy to find "the woman who works in [x]", for example.
And to use an example that isn't an analogy, one of my neighbors posted on a social media board following several robberies that he'd seen "a suspicious male and female in the neighborhood" and literally the only identifying details he provided in the follow-up is they were "young and black". I hope it's no great stretch to realize why that's racist. Watching him try (and fail) to defend it was hilarious though.
PRMan99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I were in Africa or Japan and there was only one white guy? Heck yeah I'd say it.
amishtek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black people are a minority in america (assuming tallhokiegirl is from usa), and so it is farrr more likely that using that as an identifier actually helps. It's like pointing to the white guy on the basketball team. You can say that assuming a white guy is the minority on a basketball team is also racist, or you can suck it and watch basketball. I have dark nipples so I don't exactly consider myself "white", I'm obviously not entirely white. But am I black? No. I think I've got some north African in me. I'm kinda right at "brown", maybe a little lighter than medium brown. After the summer, though, I'm darker than a lottt of the light-skinned black people I know. So who's really "black"?
Torvaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there were two IT guys, one was white, one was black, you damn well better believe I'd say "the white guy" or "the black guy" as identifiers. As it is, there's the old guy, the bald guy, and the woman. If I feel the person I'm talking to might be offended, maybe I'll go with "the older gentleman" or "the young lady," but I've got three people who can be immediately differentiated via a few words. It works, therefore, that's how I do it.
kanst ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:04:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In college I had some projects and became friends with some of the few black kids in my engineering program. They were all carribean and hated the term African American. They identified as Haitain, or Jamaican or whatever place they came from not Africa.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:59:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my black friends has very strong feelings on this one. He usually says something along the lines of "I've never been to Africa, my parents have never been, my grandparents have never been. I'm black and I'm American."
sunjay140 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Strawman. African refers to ancestry, not where they're from.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll let him know
hoagiej ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not socially acceptable at all. Most of the black people I interact with on a daily basis, which for the last 4 years has literally been dozens-hundreds, self-identify as black.
silvermember ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:09:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Given the population (mainly white) that dominates reddit. they probably rarely (generalization) interact with a lot of blacks.
So when they tend to overemphasis the one time a person negatively reacts to their statement, then promptly come to reddit and whine. Which tends to go well with the believe that blacks are a unified group and are not as diverse as whites are in beliefs, cultures etc.
jamiebiffy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:27:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I don't understand why its so racist to say "brown". Obviously I don't go around calling Black people brown, I just don't understand why they take so much offence to it. I couldn't care if anybody called me pink.. dunno, shower thoughts.
kaosChild ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:40:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a black NHL player who was asked what it was like to be an African American in hockey. He was Jamaican Canadian.
CatholicAlternate ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:35:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right. I knew an "African American" whose family was from South Africa and whose heritage consisted of Boers. He was white.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a news story where an organization gave a kid a scholarship for African Americans. They subsequently found out he was white and took the scholarship away from him despite the fact that he was from South Africa and legitimately African American.
jawa299 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is person is my favorite example of an African American.
youre2slow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But he's Canadian?
son_of_sandbar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canada is on the American continent.
youre2slow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The continent is North America.
You wouldn't call a Canadian an American would you? North American, yes but American, no.
son_of_sandbar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't, but I consider it a legitimate term to call a Canadian. America is composed of two continents.
youre2slow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure many people would consider it a legitimate term unless they're being very pedantic.
Kelend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my college foreign language classes it was beat into our heads that anyone, from North America or South America was "American".
I assumed that outside of the US the term American was more broad.
youre2slow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NB: I'm not from USA
Where are you from then?
I'd consider that to be bad practice because the first thing that comes to any native English speakers mind on hearing the word "American" is someone from USA.
Kelend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from the US, and generally if I say "American" I am referring to a citizen of the United States.
During my four years of Spanish I was told by every professor (Venezuelan, Argentinian, Spanish, Mexican) that American / Americano refers to anyone from North or South America.
http://www.spanishdict.com/translate/americano
tl;dr Latin Americans are uppity about the use of American
youre2slow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:56:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if you haven't noticed, we're speaking English here, with English connotations.
jawa299 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I usually ignore that detail in casual conversations since it drives home the point that the African American = black is misleading.
youre2slow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but he's not african american regardless lmao, you could have picked so many other people.
TheNoodlyOne ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:05:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why saying "black" was bad, but saying "white" wasn't. (Race section on forms etc.)
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:44:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not white, it's "European American".
silvermember ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:55:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They has never been a problem with saying black.
There is a problem with when saying a black etc. African American was designed to be a replacement for negroes. It is just that reddit tends to over react or will somehow find that one random dumbass who gets mad about it then come here and bitch about how a lot blacks get angry at being called black.
absump ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about "a white"? If one is wrong, I suppose the other one is too, but I can't see why that would be.
ikorolou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually love doing the reverse where its unncessary. Like at my work place we bake black cherry pies, but I call them African American cherry pies
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:10 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate whenever we have a black speaker come in for a diversity training. Not because I hate the black speaker, but someone ALWAYS asks, "do you prefer being called black or African American?"
I got in trouble one year at RA training for blurring out, "how about you just call them by their fucking name?"
InvalidKoalas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:40:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had this discussion with some friends. They think it's less harsh to say African American if the black person is American. I think that's ridiculous. No one has any issue calling Caucasians white. And they're not African unless they're a few hundred years old.
kecos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And white people aren't necessarily of caucasian descent.
InvalidKoalas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. Although my point is that no one has any issue calling white people white, so why is there an issue with calling black people black?
kecos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I was adding on to your argument. I completely agree, most branches of my family tree have been in the United States for 200+ years and I'm considered white, black people whose families have been here that long should be black too.
PricklyPricklyPear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are white Africans (and other non-black folks) and black people from all sorts of places that aren't Africa. I think its kinda ignorant and a sort of indirect insult to those people to lump everyone with a certain skin tone into "African American". A white South African dude I knew literally had dual so citizenship in the U.S. And SA, but god forbid he tried to get a scholarship for African Americans.
xXGriffin300Xx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We don't call white people caucasian. Why would black be offensive?
NippleChan69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't say it simply because not all black people are African or American. And if people actually have a problem with it, they're probably not the people I want to hang out with.
SlateHardjaw ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:47:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Within American Black families, it's a generational thing. Civil Rights era grandparents prefer African American. Younger people tend to use Black. Best approach is to find out what others who actually are that thing prefer and just be considerate.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:09:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I'm white, don't call me Caucasian. That's dumb. You're black, I'm not going to call you African American.
Abigantimos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the word caucasian means "white; of European origin." If you're white you are of European origin, even if you are incredibly far removed.
whiskeyislove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can be black and still be Caucasian. In fact, you can be african american and still be Caucasian.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to explain it to people this way. Everyone calls me white. No one in my entire life has ever called me European American. My ancestors are from Europe, but I was born in America. So why would we call a black person African American. They're ancestors might are from Africa, but they were born in America.
In my personal opinion its actually offensive and sounds like discrimination to call black people African American while white people are just American. To me it seems like its saying white people are true American while black people are only part American.
absump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But, surely, when people say "American", they mean Americans of all colors, don't they?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I call black people 'blacks' and no one gives a shit round here, nor do I mean it to be offensive
KOM ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:07:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to think about this. I would say, "That black guy" if pointing someone out that I didn't know, for example. But I wouldn't say "As a demographic blacks vote democrat." I would probably say "Black people". I don't know, it seems like semantic hair-splitting, and I'm not sure what makes me uncomfortable with the former.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get what you mean. To me it's like saying "A Chinese" instead of "a Chinese man". I think it just sounds offensive because black (or Chinese, or whatever) is an adjective, not a noun. It definitely reduces someone to their race in a way just tacking "person" onto the end doesn't. It's kind of like how it's not ok to call women "females", but saying "a female doctor" is ok. Or how you're not allowed to say "a retard" or "an autist" but it's ok to say "an autistic person" or "a retarded person" (although I was recently told you're supposed to say "a person with autism" and "a person with intellectual disabilities" in those two cases).
RoachPowder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because it comes across as dehumanizing. "The blacks", "The gays", "The Transgenders" Wording like that leaves off the human element and seems rude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the slur for Jew is Jew depending on inflection. Louis C. K. did a bit on that but I can't find it.
silvermember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It simple, given the population (mainly white) that dominates reddit. they probably rarely (generalization) interact with a lot of blacks. So when they tend to overemphasis the one time a person negatively reacts to their statement, then promptly come to reddit and whine.
So you got a bunch of people sharing extremely uncommon situations, which becomes part of reddit's mindshare that blacks react negatively to being called black.
Whenever you read someone bring this thing up, you can find 3 to 5 people who somehow have friends from South Africa that are white and how they are technically African american.
luckytoothpick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in "Dear Black People" comments that saying "African American" is just a white-liberal-guilt way of attempting to prove that you are not racist, which is racist. Funny comment, but it released me from feeling like I had to say "African American."
Evergreener11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use black because of the whole not all black people are American but also African American qualifies someone as a different type of American and sets the default American as white. I am no SJW but I think it is a little humiliating and keeps a barrier up between who is and isn't a real/true American.
SeekingMore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never understood how that term is supposed to be better. What happens when a white person is from South Africa?
masimone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think a lot of people actually care either way.
DarkStar5758 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have gotten dirty looks for doing that before. I've been out of the country before so I run into a lot of black people that aren't American (mostly in the Carribean) and I know people from South Africa that are white.
KurayamiShikaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pretty much only say "black," since I don't know where people are from just by looking at them (also "African American" sounds stupid to me for people who are not first generation African immigrants in the US). No one has ever had an issue with it.
silvermember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess some imaginary black person got mad at you for calling them African America?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a Uni with a African American fraternity. I friended with a couple and wondered why "African American" existed and not "Nigerian" or others based on origination. They explained it as it was a respectful measure. I never understood why there must be separation.
silvermember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason you never see Nigerian American is because finding Nigerians was extremely uncommon. I mean they are only like 280k Nigerians in the U.S that number is so small.
But people in that group (nigerians) if they wanted to could be referred to as as such. But a lot of blacks do no care if you call them blacks, you might the get occasional person who gets mad about it, but there is no black convention to decide these things (that was a joke).
delicatefemaleflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people get offended when you call someone black? Because I was raised to use the term "African American" because it was more respectful. I also grew up in a teeny town where 99% of the population was white. My boyfriend and I were having this conversation and now I dont know what to say. I am 2 million% not racist so what is the appropriate term to use?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imo: black unless you know their origination. If they are Haitian, you call them that. If they don't know, and they live in America i would guess they are Americans.
procrastinating_nhil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Black is the preferred term now
TheMagicJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most black people prefer to be called black. It's not wrong socially at all
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying it at work to describe someone can raise concern.
TheMagicJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't said African American in years. I always say black. Never had any hint of a problem. The three black people at my work all ended up becoming great friends of mine
6ftSchnitzel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in college who was from Algeria and moved to the U.S. when she was young. She is one of the whitest people I've ever seen and nobody ever refers to her as African American even though she actually is, and she was denied an "African American" scholarship because she wasn't black.
chickennuggets11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree! For a lot of black people their heritage is more American than the people calling them African American. We don't call White people European Americans. And describing someone by their skin color isn't racist unless you make it racist with a negative connotation.
TheGnuGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Many black people have nothing to do with Africa or America. haha
SaturnzIII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually dont like african american. I think if you live in this country you should simply be American but nope gotta make sure people know ur african american so they can judge you before knowing you.
G-0ff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
African American isn't cool either. We've come full circle and now the only acceptable term is "people of color"
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What always gives me Forrest Whitaker eye is when a black person calls another black person African American. Like easy buddy, don't offend me. I'm white, but let's be politically correct here, ok?
parallel_jay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This of course depends on where your from. Most area's in Canada its ok to say "black". In my area especially it's preferred. Most of the black people here that aren't new to the country are from Caribbean families, and I've been told the Caribbean nation and African nation don't really get along all that well.
mkgrenwelr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The pendulum has swung back on this one. Black is generally considered perfectly acceptable.
Themiffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Raven Symone talked about it when she was on Oprah that got her some flak.
She said that doesn't consider herself African American because she has no family in Africa and no ties to it, she considers herself American and black.
The equivalent is calling every person of non-native American descent European American.
HyperbolicTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term African-American is far more offensive than black. Not all blacks are African and vice versa, but more importantly blacks have been in USA for as long, and in many cases longer than European ethnicities that you would never refer to as "European-American" (e.g. Irish). The audacity to assume that descendents from Africa 300+ years, 15+ generations ago identify so strongly with the quasi-ancient heritage that they are African first and American second is similar to thinking blacks are not real Americans and only deserve 3/5 of a vote.
tldr: Unless you identify as European American, and also label white South African and Australian immigrants as such, you are actuality being ignorant by calling all blacks African American.
jeanduluoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not every african is american.
I'm white. no big. Some people are black. Some people are brown. Whatever
wee_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a separate note, isn't it time for the NAACP to change their name?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha National Association for the Advancement of Colored People for those who didnt know.. like me.
57dimensions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never met anyone who would rather be called African-American than black. African American is like a fake socially required thing, actual black people don't care if you say black.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i have heard presidents say it for certainly
57dimensions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but that doesn't mean people are truly offended when you don't use it. The only people I've heard correct people when they say black are white people. People think it's some kind of politically correct thing they have to say, but no one really cares.
TurdofFrodo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some get mad when I say black. Some get mad when I say African American. They are never satisfied.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what is wrong with you people!
assholesallthewaydow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC that is acceptable now.
PreyOnTheCosmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is "African Black'murican" offensive? How about "Blafrimerican"?
Since all adjectives pertaining to certain individuals inevitably become offensive, I'd just like to get a lil ahead of the curve. I'm leaning toward "Blafrimerican".
PhaZePhyR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yuup, Race and Ethnicity are two different things
TheBlackSpank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't mind when people don't call me "Irish-Czech-German-Swiss-American". I'm cool with "White" or "Mutt".
Splitz300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I'm fuckin' tired of the Blah Blah - American bull shit.
Fuck that, if you weren't born in the foreign country and immigrated to the US, guess what? You're just a fuckin' American.
Stop labeling something purposely segregating and making yourself different.
TexasWithADollarsign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Caucasian-American who says "black."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not sure if this post is serious but ill bite. where in africa are you from?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK, saying black is the norm and saying african american is just considered plain weird.
N13P4N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curious question here, what do you call Americans with Asian (in general) ethnicity?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
korean, chinese, japanese, indian (on the continent of asia)
apple_kicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
context of when and how you say it is key.
thenewtbaron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I changed when I had a friend whose parents were a white american lady and an central american latino dude, they were resident aliens of south africa at the time of my friend's birth. so, she had american and south african citizenship
she was a white/latina african-american.
_caponius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's offensive to white african americans.
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't socially unacceptable. There are some black Americans who don't like being called African American because they feel they have no ties to Africa.
MrXian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying 'African American' when talking about someone not from America is terrible.
azdac7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only in America, people in the UK seem pretty relaxed about it for the most part.
Rearviewmirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guy I worked with was the same way. He said "I've never been to Africa, neither have my parents. I'm American. I'm the only black person who works in this department so when somebody asks who I am, it's a lot easier to say I'm the black guy. It the most obvious way to identify me"
Other than that he was a giant pain in the ass who I had to keep putting on action plans.
wufoo2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone remember it was Jesse Jackson who started this sometime in the late 80s? He said in a TV interview that "black" was no longer permissible and substituted "African American." Then the next weekend he gave a speech using "black" like 43 times. Ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One day, streets will be named after him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK, people who are over 30 won't say black, they think it's inappropriate because it's so blunt. No matter how many times I correct them and explain it to them, my parents still say coloured.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is fine in the UK as nobody is American, white or otherwise.
High_as_red ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 17:22:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bra straps.. "Oh my god look at her bra straps showing!! She's such a slut doesn't she know that bras are like top fucking secret?"
TheDedicatedDeist ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:19:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get mad at this too. It's a fucking bra strap, it's not like I'm going to have to whip my cock out and fire two gallons of semen because I see a fucking bra strap.
might_be_myself ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:08:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear no one considers this a problem where I'm from. Ladies wear loose tops that expose pretty much everything and no one bats an eye.
Ga1apagO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:33:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same, and I've been to places where there are a lot of people from around the world in one place and it is still suuuuper common.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:09:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was definitely like this when I was in middle/high school. I like how nowadays though a lot of shirts for girls are made so you don't even have to wear a bra or you have to wear a fancy one and the cool fancy brastraps are showing! :D
GRCA ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:19:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been a bit judgmental of glaringly obvious bra exposure (e.g. a thin racerback tank top over a regular dark colored bra), not because I think bras are shameful, but because it often looks like a lack of effort/planning to me. It's on par with wearing PJs or slippers in public. It just looks lazy.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:34:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I think it also greatly has to do with fashion. I remember when wearing colored bras under white shirts were "cool" for girls. At least in my area. Now wearing cool bras with sheer shirts so you can see through are fashionable. Or strappy bras like these (NSFW) that are meant to be seen. Idk you'd be surprised what's fashion now hahaha
bloodredgloss ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:02:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh I like that pic. That is a cool bra strap.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right! It's just the right combination of sexy and cute. I have one myself and it makes me feel awesome haha
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I get that those sort of tops and bras are in fashion now, and while I don't love them I also don't consider them to be the same thing as just wearing a tank top over a regular T-shirt bra. The former is an intentional look; the latter is usually just not bothering to find a bra that is compatible with the shirt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose it is laziness in that regard. But I think that's how the style trend came about. Just finally a bra that you can wear under nearly anything and it wouldn't look as tacky to other people. Bras a such a hassle sometimes, from the price to finding something to wear with it.. I personally don't think in a "wearing PJs to Walmart" lazy, though haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:48 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's important to keep in mind though that some people literally can't afford to have many different types of bras. People with unusual bandwidths or larger cup sizes literally have to pay $50-70 PER bra
GRCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why I think a nude colored racerback or convertible bra should be a staple for everyone. Even those little clips that are meant to convert a regular bra into a racerback work well for adjusting straps to better suit an unusually shaped top. I use them for the one bra I have that's in my true size (28DD). It's a nude seamless bra that disappears under almost everything. But I guess many women find nude bras frumpy or something, given all of the black or colorful bras I see showing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:39:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a girl, it just gets really annoying sometimes because we hear that all the time. I don't think guys realize that lot of clothes aren't made for certain bras you may have or may not have. Spaghetti strap, you wear with a bandeaux or strapless bra. What if it's in the wash or you can't find it?
Also bra straps get loose, they fall, they fray, bras peek up under shirts, they get caught under shirts... It happens. And eventually you get lazy and just not care in certain situations hahaha. And some girls just don't know how to wear bras. That also happens. Hearing it pointed out by a guy? Eh not exactly fun.
AdibIsWat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You had me at spaghetti.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for listening to my side of it, though. It's not something explicitly expressed by women a lot of times.
ThatsTasty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:38:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's socially unacceptable -- walking around my city you sure would never suspect that was considered anything but mandatory -- I think it's ugly and sloppy. Except in cases where seeing the bra is the point (which can often be quite a pretty look), it's just the opposite of chic. I don't understand girls who have nice racer-back shirts, then wear a regular bra. You're ruining the look. Get the right bra.
BigKlass ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:50:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My only problem with it is that it gives you a messy appearance. I would never label anyone a slut just from seeing their bra straps though.
zanbie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have absolutely no problem with bra straps showing. Hell even the back of the bra showing if you're wearing a low cut in the back shirt.
I do kind of side-eye women who have very low cut in the front shirts with the tops of their bras showing though. That seems a bit trashy to me.
SoundOfDrums ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually tell my wife when hers are hanging out because it looks sloppy. Like if my underwear are visible above my pantline, or if my stomach shows when I lift my arms.
EireWench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't worn a bra in over five years due to ribs that slide out of place at even a gentle nudge. Bra straps and claps are agonizing. If it's offended anyone, they've never told me.
metrogdor22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:54 on July 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like any other piece of underwear. If someone has their thong or boxers sticking out, it just gives off the impression that they have zero regard for their appearance and are messy and lazy.
pselie4 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:04:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When a woman wears a shirt of dress with an open back and wears a bright colored bra I think it just looks ugly. And considering I'm a straight guy with absolutely no fashion sense, I suppose you shouldn't do that. Please, wear a skin colored bra or better no bra.
Therealhawkeye ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 03:49:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of a self respect thing, like pants sagging so low underwear is showing. Sort of dress like an adult, you know? Not really a slut thing, so much as a slob thing.
Keundrum ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure no one finds that socially unacceptable.
justrun21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure you're a man who has never been told he's a slut for his bra strap showing.
HippieLord ยท 778 points ยท Posted at 13:57:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People can do it in front of me. It's kinda like watching the discovery channel
[deleted] ยท 916 points ยท Posted at 15:06:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We ain't nothin but mammals.
Padeus ยท 348 points ยท Posted at 15:29:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, some of us cannibals.
two_toed_sloth ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 16:41:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
SwaggJones ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 17:33:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
Trippy-Skippy ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 17:48:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ewww But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes...
Experiment24 ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 18:10:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm slim shady yes I'm the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So wont the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
torrasque666 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 19:55:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Will Smith don't have to cuss in his raps to sell records
hokiesfan926 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:57:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I do so fuck him and fuck you too
MrAnder5on ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 19:59:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
SwaggJones ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:05:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
danomano ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:07:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But Slim..what if you win? Wouldn't that be weird?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:42:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 20:43:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you can sit me here, next to Britney Spears
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:59:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
VibratingColors ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:07:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
tjfraz ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:17:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here argue over who she gave head to first
snoogins1967 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:31:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
darkbob101 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:33:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim. hee hee
CCTtheG ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:46:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I should download her audio on mp3 and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
Stoic_stone ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:55:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sick of all you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
instinctblues ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:04:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me, who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me, it just might be the next best thing,
But not quite me
I'm like a head trip to listen to
'Cause I'm only giving you, things you joke about with your friends
Inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it, and whether you like to admit it
I just shit it better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums,
it's funny
'Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting.
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' he could be workin' at Burger King
Spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling,
Screaming I don't give a fuck with his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Haha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us, Fuck it, Let's all stand up
WE DID IT REDDIT!
Majormlgnoob ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:33:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You stole the show
BigGoofGary ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:57:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I have been sitting here to destroy you
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And there's a million of us just like me
StillPersonal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cuss like me
095179005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who just don't give a fuck like me
texas2089 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:43:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
hannibalhooper14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half of you critics can't stomach me, let alone stand me.
Sir_Lolz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
TNAEnigma ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
begintime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eminems gotta cuss in his raps to sell records. Me too, so fuck Will Smith.
mivipa ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:11:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadies are just imitating
nadroj15 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:37:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arrgh!
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:40:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
omg I'm so relevant
EthErealist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please stop eating your kind. It's socially unacceptable.
dlobnieRnaD ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:04:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's Spaghetti
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:32:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
commentingrobot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:38:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
slurp
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the reason
thebachmann ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:28:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SHIA SURPRISE
ZaInT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Normal tuesday night for Shia Labeouf
Jarodisbetter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like Shia LeBoef?
Sumsar1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who split other people open like cantaloupes
ScreamnPenguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who eat each other and rip them open like antelopes
sonic_tower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SHIA SURPRISE
Cdecker82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
Youdontevenknowbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait does "eating VJJ" make you a cannibal?!
Biggergnome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So let's do it like the do on the Discovery Channel.
pigsfly1133 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
Tactical_Legume ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantelopes
Need_my_Inhaler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
aasmith26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's spaghetti
Diauxreia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me get the mop and bucket.
Molerich007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
standal0n3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
EsmundFelix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:24:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's spaghetti.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:42:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Citron other people open like cantaloupes
mitchka93 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:25:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I vaguely remember this song. Could someone give me the name?
ggPeti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Bad Touch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By the bloodhound gang
anomalousBits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So ... once a year when the female is in heat?
erickgramajo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:33:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now
Jonathan924 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel
Offthewoodwork86 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:37:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
Mailablemage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bloodhound gang?
TheKandyCinema ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:30:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that bad touch reference
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:50:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Will the Real slim shady please stand up ?
formershitpeasant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a Bad Touch reference.
poopondogs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:17:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating.
Raw1213 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So lets do it like they do it in the discovery channel"
cant do music notes. don't judge me
inagadda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, some of us cannibals
RUN-DLC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought.
McKRAKK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel.
efe13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't thought about bloodhound gang in years!
tropAmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some of us cannibals
MunchkinPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well some of us cannibals
anreac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well...some of us cannibals
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel ;)
hefoxed ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:49:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hang out in gay leather bars. I have gotten used to chit chatting with friends while people fuck right next to us.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:39:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's wow
hefoxed ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:49:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What is likely more confusing to outsiders is that it's usually bare back (condomless) sex, sometimes between strangers.
In San Francisco, there is still people contracting HIV unfortunally, but many of the very sexually active people are either:
Also, most have STD tests done every 3 months if not sooner (I just got mine done today).
Belgand ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:22:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm... that's a violation of SF sex club laws actually. They specify that you need to use a condom for any vaginal or anal intercourse regardless of whether you're already a fluid-bonded couple or not.
I know that Citadel is really big on making this clear, but I'm not sure how well that propagates outside of the (largely straight/pansexual) BDSM community into the gay leather community.
hefoxed ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any sex in bars is against law (which is one reason I didn't specially mention any names of bars), because they serve alcohol (it is possible to have a seperate "sex area" and "alcohol area" also, but don't know of anyone with that setup anymore), so breaking the law further is likely not on the mind of those that partake in sex at these locations. Citadel, blow buddies, steamworks, Eros, and power exchange do not serve alcohol and thus, can have sex (and thus aren't gay leather /bars/).
There appears to be a way around that by having private rentals of spaces, e.g. a bar can be rented out by a group and they can serve alcohol and allow sex, but I not sure if that completely bypasses the alcohol and safe sex laws (and thus am not mention places that do that). This is the case with the other main dungeon in SF. BTW, Citadel also does do private rentals sometimes. Also, citadel is not just straight/pansexual -- it has male only parties; 15 association used to be hosted there and KUF is now there.
From what I've seen, the gay community, specially the kinky community, is moving to frequent STD tests/treatment/ prep/undectable as way to reduce spread of STDs. I am on the fence on how effective this will be long term (as I don't know the numbers, other then new HIV infections are decreasing in SF), but it may work better then safe sex laws, etc. Stopping the spread of STDs is what's important after all.
Sarahthelizard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know you like that.
blonderdhd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:04:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I wanted to watch two people banging I would watch porno. I definitely have no desire to see people hump a couple meters away from me.
Hedgehogs4Me ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:33:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I'd be perfectly fine with living in a society where people are like, "Hey, want to come over? The SO and I were going to watch a movie, maybe make some nachos, then fuck a bit. I could really use some ideas on how to be better, so you should totally come by and have a look."
dayblow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had friends that were this comfortable together. Do you live in New York by any chance?
HippieLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New Zealand bruv
dayblow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goddammit! Why is the internet so big!?!?
dermotBlancmonge ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
agree
remember not that long ago, people would get married and have no clue how to have sex
no other animal has this issue, it's insane when you think about it
nocommemt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This happens? I've never seen an encounter that wasn't either invitational, or mutually avoided.
Chickenchaser442 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure they don't even notice you beating it in the corner
fuck_drug_laws ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to parties before and outright orgies break out. I just kind of walk by like nothing is happening.
AbeRego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swamp Loggers? Deadliest
CatchSnatch?pjmcm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To me it's like watching porn.
GuvnaG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On that line of thought, if you want to leave for a little while (because you're uncomfortable, not me/us) and go do it for awhile and come back, feel free. There's nothing wrong with it. If you're a couple who consistently decides to bail early because you want to go home and fuck, fuck you. Unless you're goddamn Adonis and last for several hours, I'm sure you can finish up and come back, and if you can't, try to contain yourselves.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That name
Mirrorflute88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:35:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals....
Ahmrael ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 21:56:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not making my bed. Seriously, why should I have to make my bed look all nice and neat when the only people who would ever see it besides me are people who's approval I don't need to actively worry about?
toriitornado ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:16:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to ask my mom why I had to make my bed like "Why, so if someone breaks into our house when we're gone it's not too messy for them?"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's what my mom says. She used to tell me that if I don't do something as simple as make up my bed, then how am I going to do other simple things like tidy my house or scrub the toilet? I suppose it's just taking care of your stuff. I still don't make my bed though hahaha.
But back when I was pretty depressed, my group therapy counselor and therapist always suggested that I start off the day doing something small and productive like making my bed. It sort of wakes up my brain and makes the room look a little less miserable.
FormerlyGruntled ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:17:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More like, making your bed keeps all the mold and crud inside, leaving it to rot where no one, including you, can see it, instead of letting things air out and be healthy.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:27:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wash your bedding more often.
mablesyrup ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:24:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think that, but I still make my bed everyday. I was really glad I made it the day I came home to my child and a room full of Paramedics and Police in my bedroom. At least my bed was made.
Ratelslangen2 ยท 261 points ยท Posted at 15:34:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking for food or drinks when you are visiting someone.
jamiebiffy ยท 206 points ยท Posted at 18:32:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once had someone say that I was not brought up properly and that my parents were disgusting for allowing me to do this. We were eating lunch in High school, it came up, most people agreed they wouldn't ask, and I was like hell yeah, if I'm thirsty I'm gonna politely ask for a glass of water. I wouldn't ask for food though, something about food seems a little ruder. Waters free, food isn't.
FA_Anarchist ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 18:42:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's also because water is a more immediate need. You can probably wait until you get home to eat, but if you're dehydrated you should probably drink something right away.
MSCantrell ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 20:58:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I are friends with a couple (we go way back; she and she were roommates in college) who are pretty informal:
One time, Mary asked if she could have a nap on our bed. I was surprised how happy that made me, and not because Mary was finally in my bed. Rather, if she just came right out and asked for what she wanted, that meant, there wasn't anything else she was wanting. And therefore, I could be confident that I was being the perfect host, with a completely satisfied guest. That felt good.
MerlinTheFail ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:06:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yes, I get this. People who beat around the bush annoy me to hell and back.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:25:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have this one branch of our family who say my mother is a shite host because she doesn't offer them, by name, like everything in our pantry. They have five (FIVE!?!?!?!) children who come with them with they would stay with us, and the contentions against their visit would be along the lines of "It was fine, but Mrs. KnitterWithAttitude didnt even offer the toddlers candy, can you imagine? it was right there in the cupboard, and she didn't say a thing!"
No We're not reading 7 minds simultaneously, you can use combined intellect of those 7 brains to ask for what you want, using your words, you unstoppable weirdos.
bravetoasterisbrave ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:06:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine the mister knits with attitude as well and I like the imagery.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Knitter possesses most of the Attitude we've inherited and nurtured as a tribe of Knitters. It's true.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree with you. Specially because I get super annoyed when I go to somebody's house and they keep pushing and offering all types of food they made the day before. If it's there on display and I want it I'll ask, stop asking me 300 times if I want cake!
LectorV ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:16:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it, my grandma lives with us and will always list all of the food that is already on the table multiple times, to everyone.
StillPersonal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmm "completely satisfied"
Halleys_Vomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:53 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree 100%. I really appreciate directness from people for exactly this reason. And I will take too blunt over too indirect any day of the week.
thatsaqualifier ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:06:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught don't ask for food or drinks that cost money (soda, juice) but that I could always ask for water. Water is the exception to the rule.
jamiebiffy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This boy was flat out saying that you should never ask at all. I wouldn't go and say "Hey, can I have that can of coke", or, dude can I eat that biscuit. But water should always be absolutely fine.
thatsaqualifier ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:37:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine this dude at a friends house coughing, hacking, face turning red, throat seizing up, and still refusing to ask for water.
jamiebiffy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm taking pleasure in imagining that. I want all through school with him. Always hated him. He always kind of wanted to be my friend... Had the same name as me, was born the day after me. Always made a big deal out of it, then one day tried to claim he was my cousin because my grandfather (Who could pass me in the street and not have a clue who I am) and his dads uncle were cousins...
thatsaqualifier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes this guy your fifth cousin or something. Host a 7-hour family reunion and don't serve any food or beverages. There will be some collateral damage in that the other 100 or so people will be hungry and thirsty, but it would help you drive home the point.
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the fuck? asking for a glass of water is 100% acceptable. Food is odd tho.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will always ask for water if I want it, but as for food it depends on how well I know them. If I just met them, I won't ask. But if its a close friend or family I might ask for a sandwich or something. As long as it isn't expensive or hard to make.
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:39:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:08:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs."
What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?
shelly12345678 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And fois gras.
whiskeyislove ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:03:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll ask for a drink but not food. Since I live in England, we nearly always offer a guest a cup of tea anyway. Not even a stereotype, it's a fact, my mother must drink about 15 cups a day.
kerrda ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate going to someone's house and not being offered something to drink, at least a water fuck!
turkturkelton ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:41:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Water fucks really aren't as comfortable as they sound.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, interesting. I've never really expected to be offered something. In fact it makes me kind of uncomfortable when someone does.
Usually I'll just grab a glass of something myself, or if it's someone I don't know quite as well I'll ask first.
kerrda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm awkward I won't ask, unless it's a good friend of mine.
gary_brambleton ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:46:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think asking for a drink is totally fine, but asking for food is pretty imposing. If someone is that hungry, they should have eaten before stopping by (unless it's a good friend).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the only people I wouldn't mind asking for food are people I wouldn't mind walking in and making themselves some food. Other than that, if I want to feed you, I'll ask.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:25:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ratelslangen2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Netherlands.
BlaineWolfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
really?
Imbessiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So the Swamp Germans now also lack hospitality. Damn, you are the worst of us =(
EccentricWyvern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing about being Italian is all the wonderful food stuffed in your face.
My friends love coming over because we ALWAYS have good food and snacks at our house. Apparently it's not the norm here in the US.
CRCasper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MOM, RATELSLANGEN2 WANTS SOME FOOD
xStahl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:36:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude go to Iceland! This rule is like non existent over here I have never heard anyone complain because I asked for water or something to eat, in fact it's the opposite if anything.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:02:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this! Whenever I have guest first thing I do is offer them a cup of tea or coffee and some food! Mostly because I want a cup of tea but regardless.
smokeasaur23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Same. I was beginning to think I was the only one. I ask everybody, even my closest friends if they want something to drink when they come over. The whole "nothing that costs money thing" I'm sure everyone's wallet can handle the 10 cents that a glass of soda or juice might be. Come on, ffs. To be honest, I'll probably think someone's rude af if they don't offer something, but that's just how I was raised and the milieu I grew up in and I guess I can understand that someone might not because of how they were raised as well...I would just question the parents' rudimentary etiquette skills. It's pretty basic, after all.
octobertwins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:00:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take this one a bit further: When you go to someone's house and it's stuffy as fuck. Everyone is stuffy and hot and no one opens a window or mentions that it's too fucking hot because that is somehow rude.
Even worse is when the host seems offended that you opened a window and closes it. It's like, why is no one else mentioning that they can't breathe?
MutantTomParis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:20:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone opened my window (or changed the thermostat, which is basically the same thing), I'd be annoyed that they didn't just ask me to do it for them. If you're uncomfy, tell me so that I can be a good host! And don't touch mah damn windows.
octobertwins ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I got you. But it comes across rude every time. Why? Why can't I open the window? Why do you only get to control the window?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:47:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
octobertwins ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're all control freaks and I'm not coming to your next stuffy gathering.
sockgorilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they have cats that will get out if you leave the window or door open? CLOSE THE DOOR THE CAT'S GETTING OUT!!
octobertwins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Screw their cats. I'm mildly uncomfortable.
sockgorilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could say, "hey it's a bit stuffy, would you open a window please?"
To which they respond "My beloved guest, I would if not for my cats. My cats are very dear indeed, but I shall turn on the air conditioning post haste."
octobertwins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you. You're back in the gang.
purpletomato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:40:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my house. what if the window isn't on securely and you'll break it by opening it, what if there is no screen and bugs will get in? what if any number of things...a good host will try to make sure that guests are comfortable, but if the host is too cold, then you dont get to take it upon yourself to make the environment even colder, it isnt your house
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:33:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
During the Oklahoma blizzard a few years back, my friend and his then girlfriend came to stay a few days with us since we were the only people they knew with power (Everyone else was out for at least a week or more).
We set them up in a room that was never used for anything but storage of a few boxes and tubs that I never got around to finding a place for.
She was a total and complete ungrateful shit who whined and complained about everything. She would come in and try to change the channel when I was in the middle of watching a movie or playing a game....anyway, that's besides the point.
One day, a day or so after they had left, I notice that it's colder than usual in the house despite the fact that our poor little heater was working overtime. On a whim, I popped open the door to the room they were staying in and got blasted by an arctic death ray.
That scrawny, stuck up shitbird had opened a window and left it open....in january...during a blizzard.
Not only was my house way colder than it should have been but there was also a nice pile of snow coming in through the window and gathering up on my carpet.
Needless to say...she was no longer allowed in my home. Luckily, they ended up splitting and she no longer was our problem.
EDIT I also found out later that she killed my snake that I had for several years while it was under the temporary care of my friend. She put windex in the poor thing's water. RIP CEDRIC
Neohexane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This whole story just makes me angry. I hope you used your atomic breath on her.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was all BOOM BITCH!
Neohexane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:D
octobertwins ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've really let your windows go.
MutantTomParis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:36:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think a simple, "Hey, do you mind if we open that window a little?" should be perfectly acceptable. As another commenter noted, there may be a practical reason to check first (like whether my cat might jump to her death if you throw open the one window that's missing a screen). But if you're a close friend or a familiar guest, you'd already know my ways and reasonings, and course you would be trusted with full window control.
Deidra23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My Mother taught me that it was polite to always say no when someone offered food or drink, even if you were actually hungry or thirsty. I still have a really hard time saying yes.
UnfortunateGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend who lives with her Russian grandparents told me it's rude to not accept their offers. I still do anyway because there's no way in hell I'll eat cow tongue or the other crazy shit they've offered me, but thankfully that isn't too often!
cinderspritzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's never occurred to me to ask and I'm not sure if it's because I'm a recluse or because the standing rule in the circle of people I know is "If you're in my house, you can have whatever food or drinks you want- but you have to get it yourself." Plus, we were raised to always offer to people who came to visit who weren't regularly there.
fractalfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Our standing rule among my close friends is that for the first three visits, you are a guest. After that you're family - let yourself in, put the kettle on, etc.
cinderspritzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I let you in at all, you may as well go for it :-D
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey can I have some of your money?"
throwawaymedsch2015 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is this rude? I'm a first gen American from a Middle Eastern family, and all I can think of is that you're drawing attention to the huge shame of them not preemptively offering you food/drink/their best-looking child's hand in marriage.
On the other hand, I guess it could be nice to not have to fend off the force-feeding (or force-boozing) some older people tend to go for with their guests.
Ratelslangen2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cultures differ. Dutch people are frugal as fuck and this generally applies to other people who come from protestant cultures too.
yabacam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I was rude enough not to offer you food or drink when you come over, then you can certainly ask for it.
GrayOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially unacceptable? Ooops.
Actually I would agree asking for food is rude, but asking for water isn't.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a thing? When im at someone elses place they usally offer. If not asking has never had a negitive responce. Btw im from Seattle, WA, USA
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always offer first to my guests so they don't have to ask.
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a thing?
woodchopperak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one difference I've noticed between european and American culture. In Europe you don't have to ask because when you come over to someone's house they immediately offer you something to drink or eat and it's not just a formality. They will feed you. In the US this is not common unless you've been specifically invited over for dinner. It's really strange that asking for something is rude or taboo. However, I grew up in an Italian household and food and drink are always offered to guests.
Ratelslangen2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah mate, im Dutch, its more or less a result of the protestant mindset. Asking people for food or drinks (when you are not best friends) is almost like asking for money.
SlackJawCretin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only rude because it points out how rude your hosts are. They should have offered before you needed to ask
whocaresbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what kind of fucking wasteland do you live in? I just fucking walk into my friends kitchen and start making lunch while his parents sit there and ask he how my day is without ever even looking at the food i'm taking from them, same in my house... eat away hungry motherfuckers.
Cunt_Bag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise, turning stuff down if you truly don't want it. No I don't want a cup of tea or biscuits, please don't look at me like I just stabbed your grandma.
ali_koneko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught to always feed guests. Nobody leaves hungry or thirsty. The first thing I do is offer drinks and snacks after I say hi.
pinkbits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go to mates places, and the closer ones I normally hit them up for leftovers. They're mostly chef's, so they cook a meal, slap the leftovers in the fridge and then end up throwing it out. They love it when I come over because they get appreciation for their efforts, and it doesn't go to waste like it normally would.
cara123456789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always offered a drink and something to eat (if there was something good in the kitchen like cake or biscuits etc.) At my friends houses I just go to the cupboard myself haha. Depending on what they asked for I think it's perfectly ok. Like if they point to the fruit bowl and say 'do you mind if I have an apple' it's fine
CompletePlague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, the origin of this one is not really that you can't have something. It's more: it's the host's job to take care of your needs. They should offer. If you ask, therefore, in theory you're accusing your host of failing to properly fulfill his obligation as a host.
So, you're being rude by pointing out that you host is being discourteous and neglectful, and therefore you're being discourteous.
BiochemGuitarTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree it should be no big deal to ask for something when visiting. But what about people, who you don't know well, who just go in the kitchen and take stuff? I haven't encountered it much in my adult life, probably because if you are in my house we are most likely decent friends and I don't mind. But I encountered a few kids growing up, who I barely knew who would just act like they owned the place. I found it rude.
alamaias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are in my house and have to ask for a drink then that is my failing as a host, you probably won't have to ask for food, but i would consider it a little cheeky. Wouldn't mind at all if i was less poor though.
fafafafranklin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was brought up to always offer a drink, even if it's water, when someone comes over. Tea is the go to.
If someone had to ask me for water I'd be mortified that I hadn't offered soon enough.
Innocent_Wm_Posters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are 8-10-year-olds in our neighborhood who will announce they're hungry as soon as they walk in, ask for snacks and juice and even open the pantry or fridge to help themselves. They are also surprised when offered water as a juice substitute. They are rude as hell but really don't know any better. I once asked a 9-year-old girl why she was helping herself to another juice pouch so soon after she'd just had one and her reaction wasn't to apologize, but to say "I'm still thirsty." I guess they can't be expected to be polite if they've never been taught manners at home.
sumting_gun_wong ยท 3009 points ยท Posted at 14:35:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being honest instead of being nice. An example would be like when someone asks you how they look in something (usually women), I'm completely honest with my response. If I don't like something, I say so, but I'm not mean about it but I don't lie to save their feelings. I expect the same in return. In general, I just value honesty over almost anything else.
TheAndrogynousPYT ยท 1075 points ยท Posted at 17:23:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother always told me a pretty good adage: never comment negatively on someone's appearance that they cannot change in 15 minutes. So, boogers in the nose, your mascara is running, or your shirt buttons are off. Even something about a certain article of clothing, given that they are at their house and can change quickly. Things like weight, haircuts, and outfits outside of the home, you should keep mum on. I always thought this was a good rule of thumb.
gills89 ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 22:32:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this! I also like the rule of 'true, kind, necessary'. If you are going to make a comment then it should be at least 2 of those 3.
thatswhat_youthink ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:39:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True necessary.
TheAndrogynousPYT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's actually another one that my mom uses. Are you my mom?
TaiVat ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Necessary" seems enormously arbitrary and "true" is very often subjective too. I guess it works a method of approaching a situation, but overall sounds like one of those "wise" advice that merely mean "think through each situation yourself" and probably dont work out as well as you think it does.
RUBY_FELL ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:34:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's brilliant.
Vanetia ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:13:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. If my shirt is inside out and I somehow failed to notice, please tell me so I can fix it. However, if you just think the shirt looks like ass, and I have no access to one to change in to, please keep your mouth shut so I don't feel self-conscious the entire time we're out.
I've been stepping out the door with my husband only to look back and see he's wearing one of his "only at home" shirts (with a giant stain on it). I'll tell him and he'll change.
However, if I somehow failed to notice that until we were already out and about, I wouldn't say shit. Too late now!
bombalicious ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:29:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely sound advice.
Gordatwork ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:30:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds like a smart woman.
TheAndrogynousPYT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She is. :) She's a pretty fantastic lady.
PanamaMoe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:48:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you say that she sounds wicked smaht?
ninjette847 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:05:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even this isn't common and I don't know why. Awhile ago a woman in the bathroom had a long sweater that was tucked into the back of her pants and I told her and she seemed really grateful and shocked I'd tell her. I always tell people stuff like that (in private, I wouldn't announce it to a crowd) but it isn't as common as I thought. I always thought it was like girl code or some shit.
RedTheWolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:57:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too - I was v grateful the other day when a random woman stopped me and told me my skirt was tucked into my pants; stopped me walking through the town centre flashing my Bridget Jones-style granny pants to the world!
KallistiTMP ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a really good rule, I'm gonna start using that.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:17:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You should keep mum on" I've never heard anyone use this phrase before, is this a UK thing?
TheAndrogynousPYT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I'm a Texan, born and raised. Maybe it's a southern thing? It means "to keep quiet." Sort of like "mum's the word," as in "keep it on the down-low."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You see, the thing is. I was born and raised in Texas too, and still live there.
RedTheWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very much so, good chap! :-P
Chuchoter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:00:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese family always comment on appearance even if you can't fix it in a short amount of time. My relatives always commented on "Oh hey you should wash your face more often or try this magical remedy for that acne, etc etc". I don't have excessive acne, but the air inside a plane is so congested, I'm obv gonna break out.
My mom and dad do it too. I've told them to stop, and I use the 5 min rule. If I can't fix it in 5, don't tell me about it. I cannot just eradicate all acne in 5 minutes, auntie. Like whaddya want me to do about this right now?
everythingwaffle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:06:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's literally nothing you can do about this. I'm Chinese, too. Trust: you'll never be able to convince your elders of a better/nicer way of doing/saying anything. To their minds, they're not even being assholes. You just have to take it.
Or take my route and become so much of a disappointment to the family that you're no longer obligated to attend family functions, and avoid all that shit for good.
Nanamo21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoof, that took a real left turn at the end ha ha
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White in China here, pissed me off before I realized it was a cultural thing.
I didn't say anything the first 2 times it happened, I just thought to myself "Take it in stride, they probably think you don't know where to buy the products that can help." (In response to a pimple above my eyebrow and later in response to looking tired).
After those 2 times, I realize it's a cultural thing and I just say "I know. Do you know what I can do to fix it?" because then I give the recognition that they're trying to be helpful and ALSO generally I get some good advice, like "There's a product on taobao you can get. It looks like this. Call me if you need help purchasing it, because the website is in Chinese!" Then I can say thanks and hey, I might even look into it.
I have grown some thick skin in this place. I've also gotten a huge head, because as much as I feel like they openly comment on the bad, they openly comment on the good about 5 fold that, so really I'll take it!
Chuchoter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welllllllll they tend to treat white people with more respect. White is the ideal, as you may have seen in the beauty standards too. The models could be Asian but their skin's so pale they must have ingested some fluorescent lights.
To make their commercials more persuasive that their product is the best, they may insert a white person in there to claim that this product's awesome.
Chinese family do not compliment you after they talk about how to fix up your body. Basically, Chinese people just don't compliment. Traditionally, if you are too proud of something openly, or you compliment, the belief is that the gods will take away that good thing.
For example, if your kid's getting A's, and you say they're smart, then they're gonna be dumb because the gods are jealous. If you are boasting about your perfect skin, the gods will be jealous and you'll get horrific acne-ridden skin with pus and boils and all sorts of nasties.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that's interesting and I didn't know that!
While I know it has something to do with my whiteness (I get my picture taken a lot lol). I also think people here tend to be more complimentary of strangers. Like it might not be cool to brag about how awesome your kid is, but you can say the waitress is pretty, or that someone you know is really caring. People on my work campus CONSTANTLY say how my manager's daughter is the "most beautiful child in (company)." And she is. That kid is the most adorable kid I've ever seen.
I think Chinese culture produces the nicest, most generous people in the world... at least until it comes to standing in line or driving... or complimenting family members, apparently haha.
Chuchoter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's legit the first time I've ever heard anyone compliment them as generous, haha! Things can get messy in relationships though... Honey traps and all that. In Hong Kong, wives don't really like their husbands going to China for work or whatever... he's pretty much a goner if he has to head to China. Girlfriends don't let their boyfriends go up there, and if they do, it's probably because they're practically married.
It's a tough culture in China, especially for finding work or relationships, mainly because there's just so many people. Sometimes, you just gotta use a not-so-honest tactic to get what you want.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:46 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh they are though! It's just not in a way that westerners are used to seeing generosity. Chinese will give anything to a guest. I've seen really elaborate meals made when someone said they're "a little hungry" or they "could eat." I've personally been lost at night, without my phone, with only a slip of paper with my address on it and had complete strangers spend over an hour trying to ensure I got home safely and comforting me. I've had other strangers completely go out of their way to show me where the bus stop is, and which stop to get out of for the metro (Juno, if you're out there, I regret not adding you on WeChat! You were so cool!).
Seriously. Most generous, helpful, caring people on the planet. I can't imagine an American going that far out of their way to help a stranger, let alone a stranger they don't understand.
I can see how wives and girlfriends would be suspicious though, if their husbands/boyfriends go out of town though. Women here come on strong. They take "no" pretty well, but they have a look like "it's cool. I'll get you someday." My boyfriend gets this a lot.
Work relationships, yeah, they're difficult if you don't know anyone. It weird though. The first one is the hardest to build. After that first one has been solidified, you're in with their friends, too. Now, that means a bit, but if that first friend loses his contacts, then you do too. It's very difficult. You never know if or when that could happen.
Chuchoter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:49 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps it's a case-by-case kind of thing. My ex was there, but when he was lost, people didn't really help him out and thought he was just being weird, like why is a Chinese guy lost in China? He also almost got robbed at a bar (the bill amounted to some number, but they tripled the price knowing he holds a Canadian passport).
When I was in the States, people were just as nice as you had described the Chinese. I wasn't lost, but I was looking for a certain clam chowder restaurant, and they looked it up on their phone and walked with me partially there.
There are legitimately courses that teach women how to steal a boyfriend/husband, it's sort of scary. Although I think being in HK has really jaded me in this aspect. I totally agree with the verbally, a "no" is ok, but you know there's something cooking in their brains.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:58 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, wow, I'm surprised he got robbed, but not really surprised about the overcharging... While it hasn't happened to me, I've heard stories.
BUT, I'm really glad people in the states were as helpful, because I think we have the idea "you're an American" even if you have an accent, different skin color, traditional non-american clothing, whatever. It's good, because it makes us pretty accepting, but it's bad because when people aren't, that assumption leads us to be less helpful... So I'm glad that your experience was different, because I've been thinking about that a lot lately. So yeah. That's relieving. That's something I want to bring back with me. I want to be the girl who's okay with dropping everything to help someone who may not have a ton of options.
Those how to steal your boyfriend classes? That's crazy! I've never heard about that, can you elaborate? That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard.
Chuchoter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:57 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's literally like a weekly class that girls sign up to try and reap in a wealthy husband/spouse/boyfriend. Marrying rich is very important, almost on par with marrying to get out of the country, aka getting the green card.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:44 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa. I almost want to go for the crazy, but at the same time want to stay as far away as possible for the same reason.
Chuchoter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THAT'S EXACTLY IT. They think they're doing us a favour. Like as if I haven't tried washing my face? Or trying product? Or whatev?
TheAndrogynousPYT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's awful. My dad does that to my little brother all the time about his acne. He's fourteen! He could take a cheese grater to his face and not get all the blackheads out, simply because of his age. But if you point it out, it does nothing but make the person uncomfortable about their appearance for the rest of the day, or until they can "fix," whatever you're deeming wrong with them.
Chuchoter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:33 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? And until the time they can "fix", it's probably years down the road.
POSSIBLY_A_PICKLE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I always try to hint at changing an outfit instead of specifying what's wrong. If someone asks me if I like what they're wearing and it is hideous or isn't meant for their body type I'll mention something like "don't forget it's going to be cold out tonight, might want to change into something warmer." Or when someone is buying a new outfit point out a common flaw instead of explaining why it doesn't look good or saying they have shitty taste say something like "don't you already have a bunch of striped shirts? Maybe go with something different?" Or "how often will you actually wear it? Make sure it's something you'll always feel comfortable in"
KrazyTayl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
basically good manners!
jseego ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is good!
mariataytay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also have a rule that you never say it loudly. My mom once told me in a store that my make up was orangey. People looked over at me. In my 14 year old head, when I was just starting to wear make up, this was terrible. She's also broken the 15 minute rule. Love her, but sometimes she lacks tact.
endospire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:11:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great way of doing it. I'm adding this to my programming when I get home.
lydiadovecry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great one!
YOUR_FACE1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I have a bad haircut I would love for someone to tell me. Just say "I don't really like that look on you" if you know the person, of course. My hairdo won't put off my friends, but it might put off strangers which is why my friends need to help me out. Don't fat shame a stranger, but if your bud's looking unhealthy, talk to them. But yes, don't make people unnecessarily self conscious, the best rule of thumb is probably to keep their best interest always at heart.
intangiblesniper_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Great advice, but the triple negative threw me off for a bit.
TheAndrogynousPYT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes! Reading over it again, it's like nails on a chalkboard to read. I won't edit it, though. I've made my poorly-written bed, now I'll lie in it.
[deleted] ยท 2242 points ยท Posted at 15:37:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For this, I always felt honesty was a good policy, but you need to have tact. I tell the truth, but I'm not an asshole about it.
i.e. "How's my shirt?" I don't say, "It looks fucking hideous"
Cloymax ยท 2550 points ยท Posted at 15:48:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the concept of complete overreaction to that kind of thing.
"How's my shirt?" "It gave my entire family cancer and I wanna kill myself because of it."
derrman ยท 566 points ยท Posted at 16:42:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How's my shir....OW WHY DID YOU JUST STAB ME?" "Better for you to be in the hospital than seen in that shirt."
drakeg4 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:36:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you think goes well with these jeans?"
"A suicide note"
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:27:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marty9819 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:39:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. So much this.
IDontDoSoftDrugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:05 on July 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please PM me if one pops up. Notice my full-stop for added dramatic effect
Pure_Reason ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:37:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhhhh.... it's all over now. Go toward the light
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing but dreams now... Nothing but dreams...
Faartillery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For the watch"
epixxfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your outfit needed some red...a lot of red stabs again
sartaingerous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This reads like a Family Guy gag to me.
Arandur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you not just... remove and destroy the shirt?
superhobo666 ยท 1188 points ยท Posted at 16:42:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good god woman let me get the harpoon gun, them pants make you look like a fuckin whale.
theKrevFox ยท 790 points ยท Posted at 17:33:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just let me put this in words you and your people will understand.
Ahem... MOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Very_Offensive ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 20:22:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL whales moo
shandow0 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:31:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment chain broke me. Enough Reddit for tonight, cant stop laughing.
Neospector ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:48:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLAAARGH BLALLALALARGH!
Oh that sounded Orca-ish, did that sound Orca-ish to you?
JadeSkysong ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:54:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, you missed a letter. That's more Orc-ish than Orca-ish
GenocideSolution ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Orkish is more WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
They also give milk, which Scandinavian whale hunters used to harvest from the carcass and turn into cheese.
Naf5000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scandinavian?
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, thank you. I wouldn't want to mislead people with an autocorrect error.
Bayakoa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:39:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean, "you people?!"
Ilikebigmacs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you talking about Kelso's sister?
XzaylerHW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ryan's Mom
gayt0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How do I look?"
Ahem hold on, the lighting isn't quite right turns off all lights, punches out all the stars, tells the sun and the moon to fuck off now you look better
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:42 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that OP's mom is bilingual.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:12:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do these pants make me look fat?" "No your fat makes you look fat"
barristonsmellme ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but you still rock those pants!
ccwithers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โNo, honey, the pants are fine. Your ass makes you look fat.โ
Dr_Bukkakee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I learned this the hard way when I was a stupid 19 year old freshman and a girl I was dating put on the "freshman 15". She tried on a black dress and asked me how it looked and I told her that she looked like a black jelly bean and nobody likes the black jelly beans.
Defective_Prototype ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER
WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE WHALE
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:12:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Captain Ahab is coming after you! Get out of those pants!
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teehee
Lowbacca1977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"no your hips do"
The_Lonesome_Drifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not the pants making you look fat." - me
MizterUltimaman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:42 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I want to state what I'm thinking without getting socially ostracized for honestly answering the question she asks me, I'll say "No, the pants don't make your butt look big."
strayacarnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the pants, it's your giant arse.
harris101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you're fat makes you look fat..
im_not_a_crook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ready the whaleboat lads.
Tenoxica ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:56:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... no. It's not the pants to be honest :(
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:55:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No.. the pants are fine. It's your ass that makes you look fat..
Davadam27 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:57:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Craig from Parks and Rec?
flarkenhoffy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"....I think I'll get two."
BlakeTheBagel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:44:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm assuming Crazy Craig from Parks and Recreation is your spirit animal?
NobilisUltima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favourite things in the internet is the old "well, this video gave me AIDS".
wee_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People should really avoid shirts made from asbestos.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hey! I have cancer!"
NaomiNekomimi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Excellent, it's working as intended then."
CompromisedBullshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know gay queens that tend to respond like this about things. It's hilarious haha
magicpostit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That can only be said by someone with the attitude, cadence, and vocal inflection of Craig from Parks and Rec. For reference:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dMoyLlhuq8
toonytoon180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like overly-dramatic, flamboyant gay man style.
El_Profesore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck man, it's 5 am and I think I woke up my whole city, also my mother came to my room and asked why am I incontrollably laughing like an idiot. Thank you.
Cloymax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome! and thanks for the gold.
blackbiscuit58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I read that in the character from parks and rec Craig Middleton's voice, sounded perfect
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You actually get a better response from that I've found. Because it makes them laugh and takes the edge off, or it's so ridiculous they get annoyed and forget to get mad at you for having a contrary opinion.
meatwad75892 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:25:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving an alternative answer is almost always better than a negative response. Let's take the question "Do you like my hair?"
Answer with "no, I don't like it" and that conveys negativity. What the answer meant was "I don't like that particular style", but the person asking may have heard was "I hate your hair entirely."
Answer with "I like it much better when you do X or Y with your hair" and that conveys positivity. The answer tells the person asking the question that "there's nothing necessarily wrong with your current hair, but do it in X and Y style and you'll look fan-fucking-tastic!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's basically what I was getting at.
cleverlogic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:29:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what's a good response to "isn't my baby cute?" when in fact your baby is not cute.
steggo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:30:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick a feature and comment. A compliment is preferred ("such beautiful eyes!"), but in a pinch, observations said happily also work ("look at all that hair!")
Turtle_78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:13:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I could never do that. That isn't me. I'd probably just smile and treat it as if it were a rhetorical question, then maybe ask how old the baby is or something to move the conversation on. It would really pain me to lie and make that compliment in that situation. It would just sound so fake to me.
Then again, I don't think I've seen any particularly ugly babies before, so it's hard to imagine how exactly I would react to such a revelation.
dHoser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Practice now. It'll be well worth it. Especially if the ugly baby turns out to be your own.
Turtle_78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:55:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean babies all pretty much look the same right?
dHoser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, some look like the Gerber baby, but some look like an old man weeping while drunk. Most are cute, but for the unfortunate mom with an ugly baby, wouldn't it be nice if the people around her were handy with a white lie to help?
jinhong91 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:08:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"The nose is the most cute part." Or something similar. An insult in a compliment.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:23:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A polite joke about how all babies resemble Winston Churchill before the age of 1 to you? That's what I do, and I'm a mom of two.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"DEAUUUGH!"
But in all seriousness, I'm not sure. Not many people I know asks me to validate their baby's cuteness. I'd probably say, "He/She looks just like his/her father/mother" and they'll hopefully take that as a compliment.
everythingwaffle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Looks JUST like you! It's uncanny!"
altrsaber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Kill it with fire!"
frog_gurl22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not your best look. Maybe try the blue instead?"
pygmy_marmoset ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How's my shirt?"
"It's not my favorite, but it is my least favorite."
shamelessnameless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poor nasa scientist
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my ex asking me to put my glasses on (I always wore contacts around her). As soon as I did, she just yelled "OH MY GOD YOU'RE HIDEOUS."
Fucking cunt.
Asian_Dumpring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why he said "but I'm not mean about it" He would say something tactful. Like "it looks very very very bad"
catsandflowers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with that. In addition I would say that timing is also very important. For example, if someone asks minutes before an important presentation "Do I look okay?" don't say things like "your shoes look ugly and unprofessional". Try to be honest about things like that when there is still time to do something about the situation "Can I wear those shoes tomorrow for my presentation?" "Better pick something different, they do not look very professional" or simply lie.
therealmrfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even once? :-/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None that I can recall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'll be honest, she deserves getting yelled at by you. Let her have it. You're not supposed to fucking smoke when you're pregnant, and all that kid's problems are entirely her fault. Make her realize that.
CptAustus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Being honest instead of nice" just sounds like an asshole's rationalization to be honest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. As I've said, there's no problem with being honest, but you could always be nice about it. "Brutally honest" isn't always a good trait imo.
norsurfit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"How's the soup I made?"
"You're a god-damn fucking whore!"
apocalypse31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Did this shirt make me look fat?"
"It didn't last week."
cheatreynold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side you can have too much tact; my family is a good example. After having my girlfriend at the time dump me and me telling them about it, the first thing they said was "you can do better."
And I'm just sitting there going "WHERE WAS THAT TWO MONTHS AGO."
Mirrorflute88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How's my shirt? It's so terrible it made me remember my neighbor's suicide and take it as advice as to what I would do if I were wearing this shirt
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who?
Shemhazaih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck that's the kind of reaction i come out with to questions like that
i'm too honest
HoMaster ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:32:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's more fun when you're an asshole about it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:24:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if it does look fucking hideous? Then you would be lying to say anything else.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's the thing, I would be an asshole and say those exact words. I'd probably jokingly say, "Damn where'd you get that? It looks garish!" I can't imagine anybody wearing something that hideous with serious intent
spencer102 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:40:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could just say that you don't like the shirt without being an asshole?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:16:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Just at that point you aren't being 100% honest, which is fine. Some people are assholes, so they have to lie a bit.
AtTheEolian ยท 1970 points ยท Posted at 16:03:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's an extremely relevant quote that gets floated around when this comes up -
It's completely possible to be kind and honest, or to understand that honesty is not always helpful. It's part of using adult discretion, but I seem to run into a lot of people who use honesty selectively as a tool to hurt others.
tallhokiegirl ยท 448 points ยท Posted at 17:21:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes exactly. I come across more and more people who seem to be assholes just for the shock value of it and they hide behind being honest as their excuse. Like offending someone is their goal and anyone offended ever is too senstive.
XSplain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:32:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? If you have to be nothing-held-back honest with someone who absolutely needs a hard truth, at least have the courtesy not to do it in front of a crowd, too. A lot of people like to make a production of it.
AtTheEolian ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 17:23:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I find the people who take the most pride in not being offended are pretty much always at the top of the hierarchy already. Like no shit, you're a healthy white dude, of course you don't find stuff offensive, it's pretty much never aimed at you.
tallhokiegirl ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:30:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. I wish the blue shell existed in real life.
noitarenoxe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:37:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, theye have to be first at one point
tallhokiegirl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I meant the people who aren't made fun of (white/male/healthy) are in first place but other people have no blue shell to offend them.
snuffybox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:49:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, healthy white males get made fun of all the time. Every one thinks we are racist/sexist pigs with too much privilege to have our own problems. :(
joegrizzyII ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's wealthy people you are looking for.
White healthy males get made fun of all the time. They are rednecks, white trash, hicks, or shit-kickers. Maybe you've heard those terms, because ya know they aren't racial slurs or anything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you meant unwealthy.
tallhokiegirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I felt like saying healthy would have eliminated the groups you named.
joegrizzyII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More to the point.
And for every fat redneck, I've seen many a fit one. No doubt shit-kickers are generally always in good health, nary a nasty bite from too much Skoal. White trash, yes, I would stereotype as unhealthy. Hicks is too umbrella, but I feel it's easily just as offensive.
E_Snap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do exist, but they're absolutely horrible to use on anyone. Regardless of how often they may or may not happen, I'd put false rape and gender/racial discrimination accusations on the blue shell list. Those can easily knock somebody back to 8th.
throwaway131072 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've met white guys who will take offense to anything and I've met minority-race girls who are super cool and calmly let you know when you've crossed a line, if at all, but ok if you say so. "Hierarchy." I've never heard that one. Is this like a privilege hierarchy or most-offended one or what? How does a person who's disabled rank compared to someone who's trans? How bad does the disability need to be?
LTmilton ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:08:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a symptom of an edgy person who thinks other people actually give a shit about their opinion.
transuranic807 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:43:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, Trump is just being "honest" about his opinions...
Camoral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you call them a massive cunt they become unhappy. Just tell them you're only being honest.
Vanetia ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bro! I'm just being honest! I can't help it if you look like ass in that dress! I'm just being real, here!
thezeus102 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think i try to mean well but somehow I still come off as an ass,
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Look, you skipped, clowned around or otherwise jerked off to every lecture I ever gave. As far as I'm concerned your chemistry education is over."
"Oh, OK, be a dick about it."
xNeweyesx ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 17:12:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it true, is is useful, is it the right time? If it's not all 3 of those things, don't say it. There are rare exceptions, but generally good rules to try and follow.
forte_bass ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:02:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to commit this phrase to memory. It will save me a lot of trouble later.
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, people will no doubt hold your example as some great wisdom, since its simplistic and easy to remember, but IMO is completely useless. The problem is that all of those are 100% subjective.
If someone asks your opinion about their clothes, maybe they are ugly to you, maybe it seems useful to tell that person that the clothes are ugly, maybe you're alone together, but many people - some just above your post - would consider being honest in such a situation still rude. And others wouldnt.
xNeweyesx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Okay. Someone asks your opinion and you think the clothes look bad on them you wonder if you should say their clothes look bad.
Is it true? You think the clothes look bad, so yes.
Is it useful and beneficial for you to say something? Possibly. It depends on the exact situation. Would it help them to know that you dislike the clothes? Or would it just hurt them?
Is it the right time? Probably, if they asked your opinion, but there are also situations where this might be a no. (i.e. your girlfriend took a lot of time and is dressed up for a night out. There is no time to change. Is now the right time to be brutally honest?)
So if you're not sure about all of them, don't say it. In that situation if you're not sure, I would probably just compliment some part of the outfit I like instead. Even in really ugly outfits, I think it's always possible to find something you like. i.e "I really like the colour here", "I think the cut of shirt suits you well", "I like the detailing on the sleeve", "I think it goes really well with your (hair, eyes etc.)".
If you're not sure, try to say something positive and true.
Yeah, of course everything's subjective. Most people are going to get it wrong at some point. But all you can do is try your best, and personally, I think remembering that phrase helps make me kinder.
stop_saying_content ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Plato? I swear I've seen that somewhere.
xNeweyesx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, but I got it from Metta Forest Monastery page on visitor etiquette.
(http://www.watmetta.org/monasteryEtiquette.html)
Right speech is a part of the Buddhist eightfold path, which I generally try to follow. I think the phrase is pretty simple to remember, and an easy way to determine if something is probably right speech or not.
biblebeltblackbelt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
Aieoshekai ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:31:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a similar problem. Ive struggled with using honesty as an excuse to be tactless. I am a kind person; I don't want to hurt anyone unnecessarily. But I'm also aware that any people are upset by things that don't upset me, and I used to use honesty (which I do greatly value) as an excuse not to bother with sensitivity, blaming people for being offended, rather than bothering to learn to censor myself when appropriate.
Now, I want to try to be both honest and tactful, but I've ignored that aspect of communication for so long that I'm oblivious to when I'm saying something that people are likely to be offended by.
Kenny__Loggins ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:08:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That thing you just said is really fucked up. Wow. I can't believe you posted that. I'm very offended.
Pythosblaze ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:08:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely.
I (briefly) dated a woman who was only honest when she could use it to hurt someone's feelings, and at the same time would react poorly if she didn't like the truth. As someone who places huge value on honesty, that was one of the main reasons I left her. It's cruel.
Now I'm with a girl who will reliably be honest with me in a way that is both helpful and not unpleasant. It makes a world of difference to my emotional well-being. Tact is important, and tactful honesty is a great step towards a healthy relationship.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:13:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the OP, but I think there is a difference between taking pride in being honest and taking pride in being brutally honest.
Sometimes it's possible to be honest and nice. Sometimes you have to choose. That doesn't mean you should be honest and as mean as possible. "If I don't like something, I say so, but I'm not mean about it but I don't lie to save their feelings."
It's not always clear when honesty will or won't be helpful. Some people place a lot of value on honesty and will tend to err on the side of being honest in these cases. That doesn't mean they aren't behaving like adults. I prefer adults who are consistently honest to adults who are consistently "nice."
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, if you are careful and tactful about when you're being honest, you're already being nice. Just because it may come off as harsh doesn't make it not nice.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, with all the self-congratulation of "being completely honest all the time!"
knitasha ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:04:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Exactly.
"Do these pants make me look fat?" Even though that's a stupid and loaded question, it's much more kind to say "Those aren't my favorite. I think you look better in the other ones" than to just say "Yes!" or worse.
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even if the person answers like you suggest, the implication is "yes". Why not ask "How do I look in these pants?"
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can train people not to ask loaded questions with brutal honesty.
douseenow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True that. I used to be this, I think out of immaturity and tactlessness. Good thing I grew up. Now I do constructive criticism or if I don't have anything nice to say I won't. No need to tell a new mother her baby is in fact ugly.
shamelessnameless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man this is so correct
transuranic807 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:39:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, the "I'm just being honest" card can make one sound like a high-horse some ride en route to being real jerk. Certainly not always, but the examples of "I'm just being honest" always seem to come with blunt criticism rather than praise. Not sure they always pursue nice honesty with equal fervor of nasty honesty. Tact can go a long ways.
cainthefallen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:29:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty doesn't have to be brutal for it to be the truth though.
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like when someone says something shitty to you then says, "Just joking!" My internal response is always, "You suck at jokes and I might just hate you now."
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I realized that after a while, but it's just being 'cool' in school phase though (and with people you know), anyone sane would not try that stuff when it could affect your career.
flamedarkfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call those who use the truth to hurt others Sith.
coldbeerandbaseball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely, but there's times when people really need to stop worrying about other's feelings and just tell it like it is. For instance, I've had people keep putting off plans I try to make with them. Just be honest and say you don't wanna hang out. Don't insult my intelligence like that.
NecroticFury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See some of us just lost the ability to care. Will it hurt them, does it stand to benefit them? I rarely care. The reason I say something is because that is what I am thinking. If you don't like it, get rid of me, and I am sure you will too if you don't like what I have to say.
Maybe its about usefulness and getting the word out. Maybe it hurts someone in the process, but I think its better than saying nothing and letting it go unnoticed.
miked4o7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very well said, and I love that saying
jseego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Directness, to me, means being honest. though even I'm not uniformly direct. You can tell when I'm saving face becausemytoneriseslikeitsaquestion?
Being 'brutally honest' for some people is just code for being a catty bastard.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a lot of people who lie trying to spare your feelings, thus harming you. In college, I grew a beard. I thought it would be cool and manly. Many years later, I found a photo of my mother had taken of me while I had the beard. It looked hideous. I was mortified. I have very light blonde hair, the beard was sparse, and it basically looked like pubic hair all over my face. When I told friends about it, they said yeah it was a horrible beard. I really wish someone had told me back then. No wonder I didn't get laid enough in college. I suppose someone will say didn't you look in a mirror? But I guess I wasn't very self-aware at that time. And there weren't a lot of mirrors.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being nice is better than being cool for sure, but being honest it's better than it being dishonest every time. Use some tact, but be honest. You can be honest without being brutal.
HammletHST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take pride in my honesty, but I don't force those honesty on anyone. If you ask for my opinion though, I won't lie to you, even if I know that you won't like my answer. If you don't want an honest opinion, don't ask.
Unfortunately, like you said, there are a lot of shitheads who use "honesty" as a tool to insult others
mythscomealive ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:05:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just the same way. I take pride in being honest, but I always ask people if they want the honest answer or the polite one. That way, they get whatever response they're more comfortable with.
imthefooI ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 17:08:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a person who picks honesty over niceness, I am not interested in being brutal. I'm interested in not lying to the other person. If I don't like your casserole, I'm not going to say it was good. I don't want you to continue making it when I visit if I don't like it.
AtTheEolian ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:21:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's rarely ever so cut-and-dry. It's more often something like a woman with low self-esteem asking how she looks, or occasionally something complex like a child asking if they are smart. In those cases, even if they are both average, it is important to understand the context in which the question is being asked, and consider it carefully before being "totally" honest.
imthefooI ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually often cut-and-dry for me. It's not always cut-and-dry, though. Just because I use honesty as a rule of thumb doesn't mean I have a search-and-destroy policy when I go about it. I don't use honesty as a chance to be mean.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:14:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But do you say "Sorry, I didn't care for it"/"It was kind of bland"/"I don't like mushrooms", or do you say "That was super gross, ew, yuck, awful"? Both are true, but one is honest and the other is brutally "honest".
imthefooI ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They ask me if I liked it, and I say "No, but thank you for the dinner."
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:27:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So yeah, that's fine. You were still nice. Why do you think "niceness" means lying?
imthefooI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, most people will not say no. They will just say that they liked it so the person doesn't get their feelings hurt. I thought that's what we were talking about.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why bunch of people equate honesty with being rude?
If you liked the meal (like 6 out of 10) will you be super-exited, talk like you just won a house-makover and giggle?
Honesty is great (except if you work in sales - you will get fired). If I had a bad breath I would like people to tell me so I can fix it. There was, in college, one guy with bad feet smell and other with bad breath. I told them that in my 5th sentence (5th sentence after first contact) - fixed it when I saw them next time.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because most people who like to go around proclaiming how they're soooo honest instead of being nice aren't being honest, they're being rude assholes and trying to justify it. Honesty and niceness are not exclusive; you don't need to choose one over the other.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty and niceness are rarely mutually exclusive, it's just that being both takes more effort than choosing one or the other
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:12:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well... I like playing Hotline Miami.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't try to be brutal, but I do engage in "radical honesty". Tell it as I see it, comfort them later if necessary. At least that's how I'd want to be treated, so to me, it's the golden rule in practice
XzaylerHW ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:44:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nonono, its just that today not being totally nice is something really bad for most people. It completely ticks me off when I see people with their fake smiles complimenting each other all the fucking time when they don't even mean it...
And if someone says the truth they're automatically assholes because... well IDK honestly. I guess often the truth hurts, and it hurts to have some truth revealed while you were trying so hard to get it covered with a bunch of compliments.
r40k ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:47:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, thank you. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If they ask you directly, you can always phrase it in a generic way or in a way that gently breaks it to them.
FuckedByCrap ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is completely subjective. You can't make a statement that honest people love to be brutal. That's total bullshit.
Idoontkno ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
something something anti whistle blower argument
roguemango ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This defense for perpetuating the virtue of lies as social lubricant is really just about allowing us to stay cowards.
If honesty hurts then maybe you were depending on the illusion the lie allowed too much.
It's like when someone tells you that thinking about the vastness of space makes them feel small and that they don't like it. Neil Degrasse Tyson talk about this once and a while. He always says that this likely means that your idea of how important you are was likely too big if this is your response to the universe.
So, I guess a better question might be if we are expected to avoid fracturing the delusions people tell them selves. Do we think delusion and false happiness is more important than truth?
I think the truth is always the way to go. Problem is that we're often wrong about what the truth is and people often hold conflicting notions of what is and is not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, you are getting off the subject.
To prove it I will continue.
And I started to dislike N D Tyson (5yrs or so ago) because he became so popular . And people will turn to him when they need "something scientific" to be answered. And we will get M. Kaku / Chomsky situation. Asking ND Tyson about viruses, economy and such (rarely he will say : my opinion is not important on these subjects).
roguemango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My point is that many people, when confronted with the scale of the universe, feel small. The idea that this is true because they had a mistaken notion of how important they are ties directly in with the whole topic of how resistant people are to the truth.
It is an example of people not being comfortable with the truth and its tendency to shatter delusions. This isn't off topic, sir(or madam), you are.
Edit for triggers
[deleted] ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Patrice O'Neal had a good comment on that. "I think the term 'brutal honesty' is a dumb term. Who wants their honesty to be brutal? Brutal should be associated with lying like, 'you're a brutal liar'".
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:27:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Patrice was the truth.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking miss Patrice!
PrimalZed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The idea is that the truth can sometimes suck. It's not that people want their honesty to be brutal, but the truth doesn't change based on what you want.
(Not promoting being an asshole, just explaining the term and why O'Neal's criticism of the term doesn't make sense.)
reunity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because the truth hurts more. Can't deny a fact.
IThinkImDumb ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:06:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's good to be honest, but it doesn't mean the one person has to be an asshole. I can be indecisive about clothes and when I shop, I'll ask my bf which outfit is better. He will always say both are great. I wouldn't mind if he said one outfit looked better than the other, but he's always afraid of offending me.
Being honest doesn't mean you have to say, "the blue one makes you look fat," you can just say, "I like the red one better." Even if you have no opinion or a strong opinion about either of them.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:24:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate, and people often ask me things they probably wouldn't ask others because of it. My favorite was when I was working for a large law firm years ago and one of the ladies from HR cornered me in the break room and asked me if she could ask me something (I've always loved when people do that - you just did!). I say sure, so she has me follow her to an empty office, where she closed the door and started slowly turning around while asking me if the pants she was wearing made her ass look fat. Holy hell was that awkward.
For the record, I told her that the horizontal pinstripes accentuated her curves and got the hell out of there.
shaneo632 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:16:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a good one, but too many blunt people also forget that tact is important. There's being honest, and then there's being an insensitive asshole.
pantofla ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:38:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I partially agree with you. Be honest if it's going to help. Tell her that her clothes don't match while she's still at home and she can change them, not in the middle of the night. She'll think about it the whole remaining of the night and feel bad. Same with things she can't change. Tell her you prefer her hair as they are today instead of as they were yesterday, not the other way around. Don't tell her she looks ugly, that's just mean. Find what exactly you don't like and how she could improve it and suggest it. If she can't improve it take it to your grave. She probably already knows and doesn't need you to remind her
TheOriginalRaconteur ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:07:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying you are doing this, though given your wording, occam's razor says you are.
What you are describing is colloquially known as "Radical Honesty," and is more often than not a bullshit way to justify being an asshole to people. The problem with "being honest instead of being nice" is that it is often used as an excuse to say what you most want to say to other people. To say the things that feel the best to say in the moment. More importantly, radical honesty represents a lack of empathy, because you don't need to focus on someone else's feelings to be "honest."
"Revolutionary honesty," on the other hand, is focusing on trying to always tell people the thing you are most afraid of them hearing. It isn't some bullshit trying to justify the chemical payoff of just saying what feels the best to say, it requires empathy and compassion.
It's a way of being honest with people, without being a fucking dick.
sleepiest_kitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:43:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I recommend reading Mark Twain's "Was it Heaven or Hell?". It might give you another perspective on the value of being honest or nice.
taicapzen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes you a good friend. Most people really want honest feedback, but everyone is afraid to give it.
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I hate the idea that being "nice" is lying. Its not. For example, if someone asks how they look in a shirt (and you think they look bad in it), by lying and being "nice" you're just setting them up for the inevitable when they find out it looks bad. Much better to hear the truth from a friend than a stranger.
dreadlord473 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:53:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well and you have to consider that your tastes are more than likely different than that person's. And for me, most of the time I will just say "just wear whatever makes you feel great" because that's really all that matters anyway.
dchrisd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's my point. Your not lying in your example. They asked your opinion, and you're offering it honestly. Its a wishy-washy non commital answer, but at least its honest. And if the person pushes for a more direct answer, there's nothing mean by saying you don't like the shirt if you don't.
dreadlord473 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:10:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. And I got lucky with a girlfriend that isn't sensitive to stuff like that. As am I. So we can both be honest.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you don't have to lie to be nice. You can say it's not flattering, rather than saying they look fucking awful.
dchrisd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:31:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never said you have to lie to be nice. I'm arguing that you shouldn't lie and that lying does not equal being nice. I completely agree with your example, its being honest but not hurtful, a concept most people don't understand for some reason when justifying lying.
Wargame4life ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:30:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Since the accident you look gross and no one will likely want to be with you because your facial burns look so disgusting and make me feel sick"
If you can understand why you wouldn't say that then you are a complete moron if you dont apply the same to people you like/love.
" im not a fan of that shirt, you pull it off well but your other stuff looks so much better i would go for that"
RenkiDenki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is he can do something about that shirt, same with habits.
Permanent scars are different but I doubt someone would be explicitly honest about that.
OllyTrolly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, one piece of information is helpful and the other isn't. I like my honesty but occasionally you just can't be honest.
dchrisd ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:47:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, stop with the personal attacks. If you want to discuss this, go ahead, but there's no need to call me a moron to make your point.
As to the facial burn example, if someone is asking your opinion, then you should be honest and they should accept your criticism since they asked for it. It is cruel to tell someone with facial burns that they look perfectly fine when they don't. And your example of a truthful statement about the burns is needlessly mean. The same thing can be said in a nicer way.
As to the shirt example, I'm not sure the point you're trying to make there, but if its an honest opinion, there's nothing wrong with the way it was phrased. In fact, its an example of a way to be honest, but not mean.
imthefooI ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 17:11:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For you
UnfilteredOpinions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How are they going to "find out" ? I don't really think thats very likely. What do you think? that they will get a letter in the mail from the city stating that their apparel on <date> was in fact ugly?
Would random strangers say it's ugly?
dchrisd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:25:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be silly. Of course they won't get a random letter, but someone will eventually tell them, whether a random stranger, or an honest friend. And because you are the one that earlier told them they look fine (when they didn't) you are now the bad guy for letting them think everything is ok.
Valkyrie21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guy tries to pick me up the other day and I hinted for a bit that I wasn't interested. Eventually I just said the words and he thought that I was extremely blunt but he was polite about it. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with being straightforward and honest.
Kegsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you by any chance a Whale Biologist?
EyeronOre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This only works if your honest for the sake of honesty, if you do it for any other reason (say for the sake of cruelty or laziness) then you usually come across as a complete asshole.
Plastonick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Either you don't have a girlfriend, or you have a great one.
Mythyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A female athlete friend of mine recently got her haircut. I did not like it. Told her. She said "Thanks, I don't like either" She then commented that I was the first honest person with regards to her hair. Week later she got it cut again. I gave her a thumbs up and she laughed and said thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ever see "the invention of lying". i want to live in the time prior to inventing lying.
reiv90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In this cases I just shut and I don't say anything. It's better because yo don't have to lie and they didn't get angry.
akaioi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tact for kindness' sake is still important. Let's run the scenario twice...
A: How do you like my new shirt?
B: It makes me want to die so that I never see it again.
A: ... oh. Well. I am emotionally destabilized now.
vs
A: How do you like my new shirt?
B: Doesn't flatter. I like the red one better.
A: Ok, fair enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why so many individuals think lawyers are assholes. I'm sure some are, but the truth is you're dealing with these individuals at a hard time in your life and they tell you the blunt truth straight up, I'm not going to sugar coat it I'm going to tell you straight up you're being emotional and not listening to reason and the fact is X Y and Z
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You would like the Netherlands. The Dutch never seem to use euphemism or lie to save people's feelings. They just say how they feel politely and honestly.
dodgerh8ter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are just going to LOVE being single the rest of your life and dying alone.
geoper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the only time for brutal honesty is when you truly want to hurt the person. That's when you pull tact out of the equation.
TrappedAtReception ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they are already wearing the item of clothing at the event. DO NOT say "I think it makes you look fat/old/unflattering." Because it's too late to do anything about it and you'll just kill their self esteem for the day. If the cut is bad, compliment the color. If the color is bad, compliment the cut. If everything about it is bad, tell her it's a very unique dress and quite the stand out. Confidence can help you carry off something unflattering. Do it for the gents, too.
If there is time to make a change, if they are asking an opinion before they buy, be honest, but not brutal. "I don't think that color is very flatting on you, I really think a cool red would be better on you." "I think a slightly longer hem would make this so much better, It's hitting you at an awkward length." "I think a 2 button stance would be far more flattering. the 3 button is too boxy for your shape."
It's never the person's fault, the garment is to blame. You don't look fat, the stripes are at a weird angle. You don't look red, the color isn't right for you. You don't look fat, the cut is unflattering. You don't look trashy, the hemline is in a weird place (clearly this was made for short people!).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I'd prefer to know the truth then have the wool pulled over my eyes.
That being said... In my experience pretty much every one says they want the truth and then get super butt hurt when they hear it.
JudiciousF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a good one for me. I have a good friend who is a social worker, and she's super nice, but her complements have no value. Because I know even if I did something fucking awfully she would find some way to compliment me about it or straight up fucking lie to me and tell me it was good. If someone tells you when you fucked up and doesn't pull any punches, and then compliments you later, that person's complements have meaning.
j4390jamie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree, however I soon learnt that many people don't want the truth, so now i've learnt to use equivocal language to get around that. I don't lie, but at the same time I tell you the whole truth.
kageookami64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And don't be that person that says they are honest, and really isn't.
Knew someone who said they were upfront and honest and just told it how it was. Come to find out they didn't. Mostly talked shit behind people's back.
And when I finally asked for honesty, didn't get any.
fandette88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty is great and all but when you blurt out hurtful things because they are 'honest' then you really have no social tact. For ex: I honestly think your wife could have done better. Your son seems slower than most other kids. You are tactless <- Things that dont need to be said nonstop only because they are honest.
HarbingerGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a tine for honest and there is a time for tact. Knowing the difference will vastly improve your social life
kcivic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I normally ask: "How does this look" and get a "good" Then I say: "Now pretend we are strangers and pass each other in the mall, how does this look?" (:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've started living like this and it has made my life a lot more enjoyable and way less frustrating. Took me a while to find the line between honesty and being an asshole though
katiethered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's 100% possible to be honest and nice. Too many people use the excuse of "I'm just being honest!" to just be a giant asshole.
Jules- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you on this one. Flat out honesty is faaar more preferable than the socially accepted worded nonsense. Fuck that.
Though, I may have taken this to the extreme when I gave my mother's eulogy, and started off with the line: "She was a bitch."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Her: "does my bum look big in this dress?"
Me: "Stop blaming the dress".
Lord_Vectron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that's a good attitude to have. Lies are pretty important and useful. Deciding to be honest is like playing life with a handicap.
Shit, if anyone is forward enough to ask your opinion on something they've already invested time or money in, they expect and desire a compliment or reassurance. Giving them anything else is just breaking the rules and a net-negative.
And if you've decided that you're gonna be a dick, at least have fun with it, exaggerate how awful their thing is, maybe even make it into a joke, telling the truth is just plain boring.
Mr_Rippe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually ask for permission to speak freely before I become brutally honest. I'm courteous to a fault sometimes.
TTHtv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I went on a triple date with a girl I liked and some friends, and when I was getting ready, I texted her a picture of me in my outfit to ask her what she thought of it (she had done the same to me), and she told me she liked it. Well, when I got to the restaurant, one of my friends who is close friends with my date, took me aside and told me to take off my jacket because my date had texted her that she didn't like it. If she had said something, I wouldn't have worn it
Lanternchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After being lied to multiple times by what I thought were good friends... the person I rely most on on this earth is ridiculously honest. To the extent where it is sometimes hurtful but my god do I trust this person to never lie at me. It's the best feeling in the world and I wish I was as strong to always be honest. My kudos to you. Someone saying the harsh truth is often absoluly needed.
RomeNeverFell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand you, but that's why people don't like you Jeff.
ThatsSoBloodRaven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no harm in being honest when someone has alternative options. If however, someone has come out and is asking how they look, chances are they're nervous about their appearance. While not everyone will agree with me, I'd argue that the boost to their confidence is far more important than how they actually look.
MrMustangg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I look like shit, I damn well want to know. I don't want my feelings temporarily cushioned.
sonofaresiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to lie or be dishonest to have a good response to this.
"How do I look in this?"
"You look great in anything, but I think [other piece of clothing] would look a lot better for this situation, I like it a lot."
brokendate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't there a Seinfeld episode about this?
CosmicWy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am honest with my wife. I've picked up what she doesn't like about her body and what she looks for in clothes that she knows do not fit well. She jokes about these parts and I say, "honestly, i do not know if you're going to feel comfortable in that dress/shirt/pants/&c."
if i can identify ill fitting clothes that accentuate the body poorly or a shirt is just a little too low to the point where she'd be uncomfortable, then you GOTTA let her know. Usually when you give her feedback, it's already confirming what she thought.
Put the clothes back on the rack and buy something that looks good.
ALSO: i demand the same respect. I have questionable taste and i demand to know if i'm going to look like a damn fool in public!
fcg13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty saves time
chimeratx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I'm just like that, I try to be as honest as can with people I care about, and expect the same from them. Things just work better that way once they get over the "that honest thing he said offended me!" phase, which is indeed a phase because the realization that being plain honest all the time just makes things more transparent and intimate comes quite fast. I usually am "just nice" when it's someone I barely know or don't really want to talk to, so I just act nice not to cause any further dialogues.
chaosmosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with being tactful, but sometimes people specifically ask for brutal honesty and it turns out they were just being facetious, and they get upset when I'm honest with them. As someone who has problems reading social cues, I really hate that.
rosydaydreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I already like you. I love people who can be honest with me about something.
People always hate that people don't believe their compliments, but its because half of the ones they say are just flattery.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... being honest is socially unacceptable?
FeverishPuddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i'm like this, too.
but sometimes I just don't care, and I say that, and then they try to get me to answer anyways...
Valtieri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. There's a fantastic book I read about this called "Lying" by Sam Harris, you would probably enjoy it.
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to be as honest as I can, but there's a difference between honesty and the honesty that you can tell people.
For example, being miserable is something I try to make sure you never hear directly from me unless I am fucking dead. Think of the last time someone was really miserable every time you saw them . I bet you don't like them while they're like that, even if you tolerate that.
Also, if anyone asks you what the plan is but none has yet been laid, you decide or you follow. It's kind of that simple. If there's a complete panic, you need to be sure that everything is fine. Every problem you can think of has an eventual solution. And if it comes to just having to try something, you say the thing you think and people will do it. It helps to be confident even if you're not right, because people will do their thing to help the person who is in charge even if they don't do it when they're not.
Burukai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We now live in a world where ANY kind of honesty is veiwed as hostility. If you aren't making every attempt possible at massaging someone ego and their feelings you are considered rude. It is so strange.
Polite_Werewolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the same way. I've never really been good at lying, even if it's to make someone feel better. Some people seem to think I'm trying to be "edgy" but it's just not my first thought to lie. Especially if they're asking how they look. Like you, I tell the truth and hope people do the same for me.
PRMan99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My former pastor and his father-in-law got berry pie every week for 15 years because both of them assumed that the other one liked it and neither one could be honest about the fact that THEY BOTH HATED IT.
You really can be too nice and not honest enough sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Constructive criticism and diplomacy are always best.
Encyphus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, when my SO asks how she looks I automatically say good, unless it looks awful. Why? I'm not an art major, that's why. I have no clue how to dress properly.
Deathfrompopcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I almost missed upvoting you because I clicked it like 5 times.
Anyway. Yes. For some fucking reason our society refuses to accept truth and wants to cry about how they are "offended" all the time. No, you make society confusing and stupid, be honest and furthermore, don't ask questions if you don't want an answer.
therestofmyLIFE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm usually honest. A coworker asked me for my personal cellphone number and I said no straight up. He wondered why and I told him to only contact me on my work phone with work matters everything else I just don't care about it may sound mean but its honest...
RedPantsSmuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow what a moron.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be completely honest when there's enough time to for he/she to do something about it. If we're on our way to the event and someone asks how they look I'm just gonna tell them they look great. There's absolutely nothing they can reasonably do about it so why not have the peace of mind that they look fine?
Marimba_Ani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can still be nice while being truthful. It's not either/or.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not be honest and nice.
WW4O ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't this be the right way to act? If I put something on, and I look fucking terrible, I don't want my friends to like to me. That's an asshole prank, not good friendship.
the_omega99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of which, I really hate how some people have used this idea as an excuse to just be a tactless asshole. I've seen a lot of reddit threads complaining about these kind of people who claim they're just being honest when they say their dickish remarks.
IMO, there's a middle ground between being nice (and lying) vs being a unfiltered dick. Honest, but trying to put it nicely.
KallistiTMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can train people to respond to this. Just be clear with them that you always answer truthfully, and if they don't want to hear your honest opinion they shouldn't ask. Also, have social skills - a compliment sandwich goes a long way.
Dualyeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to England haha, people mistake us for being a cold bunch when in fact we're just honest and don't exaggerate emotion.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be honest but be nice, or tactful about it. My coworker has the honest part down, and people think he's a douche, whenever people call him out on it he says "I just say it like it is, I don't bullshit around".
azureless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Honesty is more important than kindness, but the two aren't mutually exclusive" is the only code I hold myself to.
F_A_L_S_E ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I do this all the time, pisses some people off, but i don't really care. Sometimes people need to hear the truth.
MamaXerxes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this. There is always a way to be honest without being mean. "Do you like this dress?" "I think you wear the yellow one better." Compliment and honesty all in one!
gunnersgottagun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For how does this look, I think how much time they have to change / what the situation is definitely affects it. With girlfriend/wife/etc. at the store and she's trying something on to see if she wants to buy it, let her know exactly what you think. After many hours of prep for a formal event just as you're about to go out the door - probably better to just say she looks nice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always make it very clear that my opinions are my own subjective views, and have no bearing on anything else. That said, this is a bad skirt it makes your hips look huge.
Ownejj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is actually good advice when it is a girl or guy close to you when I have ever said something truthfully to a SO they appreciate more then just generic you look lovely.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree, and I have one friend who does this and I really appreciate it, because it allows me to fix whatever problem he points out (breath, stuff on my face, whatever) but I still get just the slightest bit offended when he points the stuff out. bad brain.
gl1tterpr1nce3369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been thinking about this the past few days. When I get hit on I wish I could just politely say "I'm sorry, I'm not interested". If I'm just chilling alone and somebody tries to start a conversation with me I wish I could just tell them that I'm enjoying my time alone. But anything like that is considered so rude and people get so offended, it drives me crazy.
joker-lol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We could be best friends. There are so few people with this attitude. I hate how being completely honest is now considered being an asshole. I mean, I don't go around giving my unwanted opinions to strangers, but if it's someone you're close with and they ask, I feel like anything other than honesty is just kinda disrespectful.
ReformedTomboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Never understood this. I remember in the 6th or 7th grade I spilled pear juice on my light colored blouse. I asked a friend how noticeable it was and she said its not big deal to my face. I turned around for a second and saw her signalling to someone the stain was pretty visible.. I didn't understand why she wasn't honest, I would have just changed into my gym shirt or something..
Blog_15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing worse than being baited into the "do I look bad in this?" Circlejerk. If you say they look good then they deny to all hell and won't accept your answer. On the contrary if you are straight up and tell them they look terrible they get pissed and storm off... Wut
petit_cochon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's just part of society to balance honesty and politeness. Many people value honesty without being constantly, brutally honest if it's hurtful or inappropriate. We all walk this line.
Celesticle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is this way with me, and I appreciate it. I'm not one of those women who asks a question that's actually a trap. If my clothes are completely unflattering, I want to know. If the food I've made for dinner is disgusting, please tell me so I can improve upon it. When he is brutally honest with me in front of others, they are taken aback, but I really appreciate his honesty.
jmsloderb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As much as I share your sentiments about honesty, I think it's best for people to try to adapt to and understand each other. Some people may tend to have undertones to their questions and communication will be better if that's recognized. Not everyone is going to value honesty if they just need a confidence boost.
Frankie__Spankie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes the truth hurts, but it must be accepted. Like if I told you that you're using a wrong color foundation for your skin, and it ends at your neck making you look like a party clown.
TheKandyCinema ยท 3527 points ยท Posted at 13:57:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm perfectly okay with swearing in public.
As long as it's not in a formal setting.
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 3454 points ยท Posted at 14:35:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm around all adults, absolutely. But if I'm around someone else's kids I try not to just out of respect.
davetbison ยท 2016 points ยท Posted at 15:40:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent, I really appreciate this.
It's not even so much that the words themselves are such big deals, but kids repeat everything, and I don't want them repeating certain words and phrases in a place where it can get them in trouble. That's why we don't curse around our kids, and why we dig when other adults get this concept.
dcux ยท 652 points ยท Posted at 16:23:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
And just don't make a big deal out of it if they do repeat something. Don't encourage it, don't laugh, just say "that's not nice" or something.
davetbison ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 16:32:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, definitely. Last night we were having dinner with my parents and Hey Ya came on. My 6 year old sings along with everything, and she busted out the line "I just want to make you come-a" and my wife and I gave each other a look and kept mum.
My daughter has no idea what it meant, and we weren't going to draw attention to it. That's the hard part -- in order to teach that it's not a polite thing to say in certain situations, you have to explain what it means, and we're not there yet.
[deleted] ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 20:53:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's hilarious when they use the words in the correct context. When my daughter was 5 or 6, we were at my mom's house and asked her if she wanted to go play in the yard. She said "No.. there's dog shit everywhere".
It was a fact, and she was obviously just repeating something she heard and picked up the context of.. she had no idea it was a "bad word", though the rest of the adults in the room laughing so hard we could barely breath probably clued her in..
the_arkane_one ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:26:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 6yr old step-daughter was chasing the cat around the house the other day and all of a sudden she busts out 'come here ya little bastard!'. She didn't know what it meant but had heard it somewhere and thought it was fitting somehow .. This is coming from a child that thinks 'punk' and 'crap' are really horrible swear words.
QQpayne ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:26:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish people would get over the whole shit thing. Poop and shit are both 4 letter words with the exact same meaning, yet one is different and taboo for no realistic reason. I say fuck that, I still teach my kids the proper words to say but if I catch them using shit in proper context at home I'm not going to bitch at them about it.
issius ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:00:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut the shit up
scootstah ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:36:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the whole idea that some small subset of words are bad to say is fucking stupid. Who decided that anyway? It doesn't make any sense. You can say "oh crap", or "dangit" and they're fine, even though they are a direct substitute of the bad version. They have the same affect and everyone knowa you would have said the bad word if it wasn't deemed inappropriate.
Eh, I dunno. Just seems incredibly arbitrary and silly to me.
sequestration ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:51:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If shit is not a curse word, then how will we curse?! If you use it all the time, it loses its impact.
Keegan320 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:52 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By screaming and/or lashing out physically! =D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is relevant.
lustywench99 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:45:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We had to stay at a hotel out of town for a wedding. Four year old daughter was the flower girl. On the day of the wedding I'm getting her ready and she's as pretty as a princess. Like out of a story book adorable.
And she proceeds to tell everyone that last night we trashed the hotel and got drunk off the mini bar. And then she launched into the chorus of "Fancy" and there were a few chuckles. Mostly people wanted to know who let her listen to such music. That would be me. Me. I did that. You should see her rendition of "Wrecking Ball" it's quite on point.
lethal909 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:43:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you. I don't do that kid music shit either. My kid listens to my music. I am a little selective though: Clash, Smiths. Not so much Ministry and Coheed.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
lustywench99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. We DO listen to some Disney songs... which may or may not have been on a few play lists before I even had kids... but a lot of Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.
Unfortunately my four year old has all of a sudden gotten mad with Taylor Swift. I'm not sure what rift in her universe has occurred, but it has something to do with her Style song. My daughter is perceptive. She doesn't like how the guy in the song says he's been with other girls. I don't think she understands this. I think she believes the boy in the song had made other friends and hasn't been playing with Taylor. But that song comes on and she yells to turn it off because she doesn't want to hear about that bad guy.
We'd toyed with the idea of trying to get tickets to see TS for her 5th birthday. Probably not going to happen now. I can just imagine her blood curdling screams in the stadium when that song starts. Lol.
amongstheliving ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:51:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man, this makes me think of when I was little and the Spice Girls were HUGE. My cousins and my friends and I would belt out the lyrics on public... definitely appropriate for 5-8 year old girls to sing :p
Req_It_Reqi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She just wants you to come to her birthday party, right? Right??
davetbison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course.
frogshateclocks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:29 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My son started just yelling "I'm bringing sexy back! I'm bringing sexy back!" over and over in front of my husbands nun auntie. He was 3. It was funny. At first.
Emperor_of_Cats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother and father would take care of my neighbor's kid. One day, the little girl was upset because she wasn't getting her way. My mother said something to he about how she couldn't always get what she wanted.
The little girl replied "You'll piss me off and I'll go home!"
My dad just turned around and walked to our basement and laughed for a good few minutes while my mom explained that she shouldn't be saying that.
dgmilo8085 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:42:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh the old, ignore it and [please god] it will go away. It actually works. I recall driving with my 2 year old in the backseat while my wife and I were driving. Out of nowhere he yells, "Fuck!" My wife and I look at each other confused, and whisper, "did he just say that? Ignore it." To which he goes on a tourette syndrome tirade, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck!" At this point my wife and I are in tears holding back our laughter in the front seat. I know its wrong in a sense, but there is something intrinsically hysterical about a 2 year old swearing like a sailor. Three miles down the road it inexplicably stops as quickly as it started, and we've never heard him say it since (he's 6 now).
funkengruven ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 19:25:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah, that's awesome.
When my son was about 4 or so, he was doing something over and over and over and it got so annoying I finally said "Just stop it, god-damnit!". He look confused, then turned to me "Daddy, my name is [InsertName], not God-namit!". Trying hard not to laugh I just said "ohh, right, sorry, forgot".
Helpimstuckinreddit ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:57:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You got dad joked by your own damn son.
Harry101UK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:11:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[InsertName] is a very weird name for his son.
Andrawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
TheLuper ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:45:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Till i skeet skeet skeet mufucka... Till i skeet skeet got-damn
a_wild_douchebag ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
lolomomo5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TO THE WALLLLLLSSS To da wallz
IceToAnEskimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I came looking through the comments thread for this, thank you!
CobraCommanderVII ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:42:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows the universal call of "Get Low" by Lil Jon, your child was simply responding
KallistiTMP ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:55:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dated a single mother once. She had a little 4 year old that would downright chew me out if I said the word "stupid". Her mom actually taught her that stupid was a very bad word, because realistically speaking it's often far more hurtful to others than cuss words.
Hitlerdinger ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:55:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ten out of ten fucking parenting
this guy gets it
eneka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to urban dictionary that.....wasn't it in a song?!
dcux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I know that song (nsfw), but I didn't recognize the context around it that these guys were singing.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it would be more effective to teach kids about professional settings and why they shouldn't say certain things at certain times. Of course, that's above a 3 year old's comprehension, but at later ages, maybe it would work.
davetbison ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My 3 year old is definitely more likely to parrot than my 6 year old. We've explained to her that certain words are not appropriate for certain situations (not just swear words -- we've told her it's not appropriate to talk about bathroom stuff at the dinner table, for instance).
oonniioonn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's getting very close to the Danger Zone. Because then you're making it a special thing that they will first of all remember (they might otherwise not) and then of course they'll know it's a naughty word and if there's one thing kids like, it's being naughty.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both of those things will happen when you simply say "don't say this" as well.
sequestration ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem becomes when they do it at school or other inappropriate settings, and there are consequences.
DaemonJP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My daughters have both gotten very interested in swear words recently (I blame you, InterWebs!), and will often ask me 'is this word worse or better than this word?' I try to answer honestly, and tell them what sort of scenarios it's appropriate to use it (never around authority figures, only with close friends, etc). They're going to hear and use swear words anyway, so I'll try to save them accidentally doing so in a way that impacts them negatively
ToastedFishSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
dcux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Turns out they were just excited about their shooting competition.
sothatshowyougetants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to the windoooooooows
to the waaaaaallls
TIL THE SWEAT DRIPS DOWN MY BALLS, MAKE ALL THESE BITCHES CRAWL
TIL SKEET SKEET SKEET MOTHAFUCKA TIL SKEET SKEET SKEET GODDAMNNNNN
bluescape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, she's got at least another 15 years.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish more people got this. "Of course my kid just had to repeat the bad words!"
That's because you freak the fuck out and let them know they're bad words.
ihatedrums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
similar situation, my group of friends were in Colorado mini golfing. behind us were some younger teens 13-15 cursing ridiculously and then behind them a little boy and his mother. they left halfway through the golf course because the mom was tired of it.
one of my friends went up to the group and told them off for it. haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forbidden fruit
StillPersonal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get low get low get low
YOUR_FACE1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may have been singing the acoustic version of Get Low behind you. If it was me, I'm really sorry, I definitely try to avoid swearing around kids, but sometimes I get caught up in the situation. I swear too much in general, too.
dcux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ALL LIGHTS IN ROOM GO DARK
/u/YOUR_FACE1 IS FORCEFULLY SEATED IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE METAL CHAIR, IN TOTAL DARKNESS
A BRIGHT SPOTLIGHT IS SWITCHED ON IN /u/YOUR_FACE1's FACE
dcux: Where were you on the night of July 4, 2015?!
dadsmayor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They were rapping Lil Jon
dcux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, of course. But there was something else before "skeet skeet skeet" that was not from Get Low, or at least not from the original version.
LanikM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lil john.. Were these kids from 2006?
thatdude52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...watergun, oh my god Becky look at her butt, tunechi
expressedpanda ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:26:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now she want a photo
MonadVirgil ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:59:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TO THE WINDOOOOOOOO
TO DA WAH!!!! (to da wah)
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:03:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not so sure, when my nieces see a boob on TV I jump to the remote and switch it off and give them the lecture on how disgusting and vile the female body is and how it should never be seen. They're gonna turn out great!
Popcom ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get this logic. Kids can and do learn that there's things they're not allowed to do that adults can. All my kids know what a beer can looks like, they all know that I can drink it and they cant. There's no confusion there, no gray area. Just like swearing, they know that I can say this or that while they cant.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:28:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly my son's relationship with swear words (he's five). He knows every swear word in the book and I don't censor myself much around him unless we're in public. But he has always just known better than to swear, ever. What do people think, they're going to be able to act like curse words, drugs, alcohol, ect. just don't exist? Kids are going to find out about every naughty thing out there, you might as well just teach them right vs wrong behavior for their age.
pltkcelestial18 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:50:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was my dad. He swears like a sailor, but my sister and I never cursed at home. It probably wasn't until my sister and I had been out of the house for a few years before we started cursing around our parents. None of us think anything of it now.
mossling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are going to hear theses words anywhere they go, no matter how hard the parents try. You can't stop people randomly waking past you at the store or sitting at the next table from taking however they want. Better they learn early what they can and cannot say!
I swear like a sailor, and have never censored myself in front of my daughter. Yup, when she was super little, she repeated a word or two. We explained to her that some words are "grown-up words" (not bad, if it's bad, then why does Mommy say it?!), and not for use by kids. She was told that while I won't get mad at her if she slips, she is still not allowed to use them. If she has a question about what she can or can't say, she'll whisper in my ear to ask. "Mommy, am I allowed to say fuck it?" She's 7 now. She's had a slip or two; she immediately looks mortified, we calmly correct her and move on. She's never once intentionally swore, unlike a lot of other kids her age I know!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! My son also asks sometimes if some words are ok to use or not. When I was younger my dad practically encouraged and definitely did not curb my cursing and I used to get in a lot of trouble for it at school
NoPatNoDontSitonThat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe at a certain age.
My son is two. He took a fall a few months ago and I thought he was hurt so I yelled out, "Shit!" as he hit the ground. He was fine but he heard me say "shit!" and thought it was great. Started yelling "shit!" every time he fell or dropped something or sometimes just for fun!
It's not THAT big a deal, right? Perhaps not but then he went to daycare and started saying it there. We got a phone call from his teacher and had to have a conversation about it. My kid at two years old was already the bad kid that could mess everyone else's kids up.
davetbison ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:13:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who didn't get my original comment need to read this story. This is EXACTLY why we'd rather not have our kids repeating certain words.
Keegan320 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:16 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you need to read the reply to your comment about how you can't censor the world, so the better course of action is to teach your kids what is and isn't allowed. They are perfectly capable of understanding the concept and following your rules unless you raised a spoiled/undisciplined child
NoCardio_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really think that it's ok to say 'fuck her right in the pussy' in front of a six year old?
Popcom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:58 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say that. Why do people always go strawman?
davetbison ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids need help understanding things. There's nothing worse than an arbitrary rule for a kid. My kids know that drinks with alcohol are not for kids. It's a choice they can make when they get older. They get that.
How do you explain why a word is considered profane -- without explaining what the word means? It's our choice to equip our kids with sex education at a time we feel is right. It's coming up fast enough without needing to call an audible because they want to know what f--- means (funny I feel the need to censor myself here, but I can't help it).
All we ask is that people respect the fact that we're trying our best as parents to give our kids a full and complete childhood, and in return we will do our best to send well-intentioned, polite, considerate people out into the world.
Keegan320 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:22 on August 8, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could (should?) explain what the word means in context. If somebody says "shit" when they break something/hurt themself/etc then you don't say "well shit means poop" you say "adults will sometimes say 'shit' when they're startled or upset, but a lot of people think it's a bad word so if they hear you use it they'll think you're a bad guy. So do not use it, okay? If you slip up I won't be mad but do not use it on purpose."
DumbMuscle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:36:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a story floating around my family of a distant cousin's wedding. The various family gatherings in the days before were the first time that an older uncle with a rather rude sense of humour had seen his young nephew, and he had him propped up on his knee, going "go on, say bugger. Bugger, bugger, bugger, say bugger" for most of the evening, to no avail.
The next day, it's time for the wedding. At the always slightly too long, awkward silence after the priest asks if anyone has any objections, there's a shout which gets steadily louder as the kid runs up the aisle, and then quieter as he's whisked away and out of the church by his mother.
"BuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBuggerBugger"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a little boy in Target screaming "shitty booty! shitty booty!" over and over and over and then another kid heard him saying it and picked it up and they screamed it back and forth for like 5 minutes. I felt awful for the parents haha
ATCaver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just wish my other post-high school friends would understand this.
Great example: the other night our little group was hanging at IHOP around midnight like we always do on Saturday night. We get loud and rambunctious but always sit in the same section with the same waiter so we don't generally disturb anybody, since his section is in the very back.
Saturday night, however, a family was sitting a couple tables away from our regular booth. Two kids, a boy around 7 or 8 and a girl around 4 or 5.
My friend Blake was talking about something somebody said at work and just starts going of the rails with F-bombs and JESUS CHRISTs and all that.
I and our other friend Hunter both told him to chill out, there are a couple little kids right over there.
He comes back with "I don't give a fuck. I'll say what I want!"
But he did tone it down after that.
Later, as we were leaving, I went back to give our waiter a tip after I paid. The family was still there. The father stopped me after I finished talking to Sammy and thanked me for trying to calm Blake down and being mindful of his kids.
It doesn't take much, ya know?
davetbison ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Blake has entitlement issues.
BonJovisButtPlug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that. If you go on a family outing to IHOP at midnight on a Saturday, expect to hear my drunk ass saying crass things.
ATCaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He really isn't normally like that. I think he'd just had a particularly bad day at work.
sineofthetimes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:00:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We were at Disney and people were throwing F-bombs around. I know the lines are long, but come on, assholes, watch your mouths.
FuckGiblets ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being around children makes me so hyper aware of how much I swear. I only ever notice when I'm half way through the word then I look around for the looks feeling very guilty. But now I like in Denmark none of the children speak English and no one is ever offended if you swear in English.
talsiran ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a parent, but sort of how I feel. Before I moved recently, a group of us were playing Magic the Gathering at a comic shop, and people were dropping F-bombs left and right while this family of five, with the oldest child being maybe 7, was browsing the shelves nearby. I asked everyone to tone it down, "Why the fuck should we?" "Because there are kids nearby." Everyone was on their most polite behavior until the kids left (except one guy, who can't understand why his 3 year old says "shit" and "asshole" all the time), because it was sort of just an understood thing to not expose kids to it.
snorlz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:20:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can i ask why its such a big deal if your kids curse? you know they will learn everything by the time they are like 9 or even before anyways and will be cursing for the rest of their lives probably. whats the big deal?
murderofcrows90 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:21:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because words mean things.
SaladBurner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They'll spread it to other kids who will use it in front of their parents who will get pissed about it. It doesn't follow your logic but you still wouldn't want an angry parent hunting you down.
davetbison ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect answer.
BillyEffingMays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ill accidentally swear in front of kids in public then immediately tell the kid after i realise what i did "woops, hey kid, dont swear, its bad"
had to get used to that since i have young nephews and nieces.
Eruanno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not always cursing either.
Me and some friends set up a small tabletop booth at a convention a few years back, and we served some different tea blends that were free for anyone who passed by. We labelled them with different things just for fun, one was "Mr. Stabby's stabbity-stab tea - the tea that stabs you" with a picture of a stickman with a knife. Another one was "Hypnotoad Tea" with a picture of Hypnotoad from Futurama and we'd jokingly say "All hail Hypnotoad!" as we took some of the tea. Cue this 9 year old boy who heard us and started running around in circles at the convention shouting "ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD, ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD, ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD, ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD" for like three hours at the top of his voice.
We were seriously considering strangling the damn kid. His poor father was around too and he told his kid to settle down several times but five minutes later he'd be back again, "ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD!" Siiiiighh.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I may have dropped an F-bomb in front of someone's kids at Red Robin a few weeks ago. Whoops.
davetbison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're off the team.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question for you: I have a pretty offensive vocabulary and catch myself swearing in public or around children much more often than I would care to admit. My question is how big of a deal is this for the average parent (on a scale of 1 to 9/11) and how do I appropriately pass on an apology to you without making a bigger deal out of it than it is?
davetbison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good question. 3, maybe? You're not doing irreparable damage to my children by just saying words, just putting us as parents in a difficult situation.
I'd be happy if someone realized they did it and quietly caught themselves and maybe mouthed the word "Sorry". There's not much I can or would do if you didn't do that, but you'd earn my respect if you did.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! That's pretty much my usual course of action. I'm not intentionally offensive, I just don't spend much time around children and sometimes forget to check the volume setting of my voice!
kurozael ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, they're only gonna grow up and swear anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
davetbison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bar or restaurant with a bar? Huge difference. I don't take my kids to places/situations that are adult-oriented, but if it's something like a Chili's where the main idea is family eating, it's not too much to ask people at the bar to not scream profanities at the top of their lungs. We'll stay in the eating section and never in the bar, out of respect. We just ask the same.
atlgeek007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to say that if I ever had kids I would teach them to swear properly and with context, but not around teachers or their grandparents.
SKSmokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a disagreement I have with a lot of other parents (including my spouse)--kids need to know what not to repeat. Yes, they may say it a time or two, get in trouble and then learn there are things not to say.
I've got 3 kids: 6, 4, and 1. There are words they're not allowed to say under any circumstances (I don't think we need to go over those) and then words that are OK around mommy and daddy but should not be said at school/etc. (crap, stupid, etc.).
davetbison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All things in due time. My kids are so subjected to new information on a constant basis that we pick and choose when to tackle new stuff. My goal is to always avoid being hypocritical or arbitrary with my kids, so the lessons I pass on help them make good choices moving forward. If I could I'd get it all done in a weekend and then we can just go do fun stuff as a family, but it doesn't seem to work that way. Pending.
loljetfuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Although I'd love to live in a world where people didn't get in trouble for saying "bad words"... I'm grateful that I can introduce my kids to swear words when they're ready to understand the concept that there's a time and place to swear, and a time and place not to.
davetbison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I intentionally save certain words for when they'll have maximum impact. People close to me know if I throw out an f-bomb, things just got serious. Or hilarious. Either way, words lose their meaning the more they're repeated, but if you choose them wisely, they have the ability to knock down walls.
Prince_Camo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing out of respect to parents, and maybe it doesn't bother you, but this is what really bothers me about the whole concept:
The only power these words have are what we allow them to have as a society. They are meaningless. You have people that seemingly don't know how to talk without them, but if we stripped them of their power, that wouldn't be the case. We need to just chill with that whole concept.
davetbison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do I think a little kid should be in trouble for saying a specific word in a place where it's frowned upon? Of course not. But I don't make all the rules. I wish everyone would subscribe to my way of thinking, but in lieu of that, it's my job as a parent to help my kids avoid negative situations by, among other things, setting a good example.
Prince_Camo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I agree with you, I wasn't trying to insult you or the way you do things at all, it was just society, or whoever made that stupid "rule". I really wish that the whole "bad words" stigma would just disappear.
To reference Whoopi Goldberg (not a real authority on anything, I know), there are far worse words than "fuck". You can tell someone they look really fucking nice, but there is no nice way to use the word stupid.
And to be honest, People need to get the stick out of their ass if they think they have the right to not be offended by someone else.
davetbison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No insult taken! This has turned into a really thought-provoking discussion, so I have way more than two cents to chip in.
profplump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get his concept. I'm not saying you're wrong -- lots of people say the same sort of thing, so I'm probably the weird one -- but it's never made any sense to me. I don't understand how you can both believe the words aren't magic and believe that those words will "get them in trouble". Doesn't the trouble only come from believing that the words are magic in the first place? In social settings someone might not like what your kids say, but that's hardly limited to a set of specific bad words, and there isn't anything fundamentally different about the way that young people swear compared to older people, so I don't understand why a particular set of words is of such specific concern.
To me this whole things feels like teaching children they can't run out in front of a Ford instead of teaching them not to run into traffic in general, and it has always left me baffled.
davetbison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the difference... My kids won't be in trouble with me if they curse at age 6 and below. They likely don't know what any of these words mean.
HOWEVER, not everyone shares my liberal attitude about it. My kids may very well be in trouble for saying these words in certain places and/or in front of specific people. The only guarantee against the vagaries of different people's sensitivities towards swear words is to avoid them entirely.
profplump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:12 on July 25, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. I want to urge you to be more radical, but I can see the practicality of your view. Thanks for explaining.
MikeOfAllPeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. A lot of people don't understand that kids just should not be hearing every single thing adults say. It's not just bad words. Certain jokes they wouldn't understand, for example, or when someone is being ironic or sarcastic.
chadsexytime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My kid (then 3) was out at a neighbours house with his mother while an adult from that house was fixing their screen door.
He had on his felt tool belt and felt screwdriver and was "helping" fix the door.
He dropped his screwdriver and said "aw fuck!" very clearly.
Somehow this was my fault! I mean, he used the term correctly, after all.
GeorgieWhorewell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a reading tutor in an elementary school. With the kindergartners I see, we practice letter sounds using these little cards with one letter each so we can mix them up and only practice certain letters. One girl last year liked to put our cards in 2 groups of three and see if they made a word. Whether it actually made a word or just a nonsense word, she would blend the sounds together to make the "word" (which is a great practice for learning to read). Well one day she had F K X. Out of all the possible ways she could have pronounced it, she said "fucks!" When she comes to a pretend word that she likes the sound of, she'll repeat it over and over and over. So there I was, sitting in the school library with a kindergartner who's muttering "fucks, fucks, fucks, fucks, fucks" and trying not to react. If I just went along and pretended it was a nonsense word she'd forget it in a couple minutes, but if I pointed out that "fucks" is a bad word I would have to explain why and she would try extra hard to remember it.
cC2Panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my niece was three my mom burned her self and yelled crap. She immediately started running around the house shouting crap over and over. It was adorable.
Ozz87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If society collectively decided to "unswear" bad words could that work? Aren't swear words only bad because we say they are and react off of that? Is "I didn't find shit" worse than "I didn't find anything" if no one reacts negatively to it?
mrmonkeyriding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to hide my cig/beer and cursing when I'm around kids, naturally I walk through parks for shorter distances.
egus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter told me that she knows all the bad words now because she has heard me say them all. Felt halfway bad about that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you teach them the words and explain their meaning and let them decide for themselves? Otherwise they'll hear the words from other kids and use them and get in trouble. This way when they hear the words, they will know what they are and what the mean and won't be so keen to use them (of course if they're 4, don't teach them yet, I'm thinking around 8)
davetbison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
6 and 3.
I've tried explaining my view in responses to other comments besides this one, but this analogy popped into my head:
Let's say you're on a first date with someone you're really, really attracted to. You don't know each other well at all, and of course you're both trying to put your best feet forward and make the best impression so there will be a second date and beyond.
Now let's assume you have an incredibly embarrassing habit that you don't share with everyone. In fact, I'm the only one you feel confident in sharing this with, and hope someday to find a significant other with whom you can feel comfortable enough to reveal this habit. That kind of trust doesn't happen overnight, so there's no possible way you'd ever let this information out on a third date, much less a first.
Now imagine I show up randomly at the restaurant where you're having your first date. After some minor chit chat with you and your date, I casually allude to your embarrassing habit by using the term "shuckducking". Your date clearly heard something, but doesn't understand the full meaning of what I've implied. They know something's up, though, because it immediately causes you to become uncomfortable.
Have I said something wrong? It's a meaningless term to the person you're with, after all. I can assume that at some point they will learn this term so they may as well hear it now and hear it from me. And if your date goes on and tells a hundred other people the same thing, well, that's just how things go.
The problem now is that you have two choices: either you ignore the elephant in the room and hope that your date doesn't say "shuckducking" to the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, or you open up to your date and provide information about a sensitive subject way before you were prepared to do so -- because it's the only way to fully explain to your date why they can't go around saying "shuckducking" wherever and whenever they want.
That's the problem with swearing around kids. The words are irrelevant. The grief it can cause for parents is what you're helping to avoid when you keep it clean around kids.
Simple as that.
881221792651 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're just words, who fucking gives a shit. So I see some five year old say "fucking shit christ balls".. . Whatever, ignore it and move along, just as I would if an adult said it.
WinterOfFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When my son was 2 I was on skype with my mom (she is very conservative). I realized my son was talking to himself and quickly started talking loudly so she wouldn't hear him saying 'and we don't say shit...and we don't say fuck...'
GallifreyanVanilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parent here, too, and I'm on the opposite side of this thinking. I don't want people to censor their language for my kids. They're going to hear curse words on TV, in movies, in public, and it's my job to teach them that in our family and when we're in public, WE don't say those words.
I've seen people give their friends a hard time for swearing around children, when it was an honest accident and they didn't realize kids were in the area. I don't want anyone being chastised for an honest mistake, and hearing the word "fuck" isn't going to damage them in any way.
dirtmerchant1980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an adult, I speak how I want to at all times. I didn't sign up to be a member of the village that raises your child.
troxnor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:09:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other adults dont get this concept?
davetbison ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be amazed. Some people think they're the only ones who matter and that their actions can't be criticized or have negative consequences for the world at large.
Source: Garbage on the side of every road in America.
DooDooBrownz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:39:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless it's in a bar. bar is for adults, fuck the people who bring kids to bars, i will show no mercy
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fuck that.
ArgoFunya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This comment takes me back to the Great Park Slope Breeders vs. Ballers War of '10.
DooDooBrownz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
does it count as a long term tactical victory, if you wait it out until they age out of the neighborhood and move to westchester?
KryleKrenin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I go to sporting events I always do a Child Check, no kids three rows in front or behind me, no kids within five people on either side, you bet I'm gonna yell and scream curse words.
WombatBeans ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 14:54:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can swear around my kids, it doesn't bother me or them. They've ridden in the car with me driving, so if swearing in front of my kids bothered me I shot that horse in the face years ago.
dick-nipples ยท 343 points ยท Posted at 15:22:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching your kids road rage at an early age is key to keeping the traditions of tailgating, brake checks and middle fingers alive and well.
zuko2014 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:57:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing while driving is one of the most important things to learn when you first have your license. Those assholes going 38 in a 45 need to hear it from someone.
Vanetia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a proud day when I got cut off by some jackass and I actually managed to keep my mouth shut instead of going off like I usually do only to hear from the back seat "Wow. That guy was a dick, huh mom?"
sniff That's my girl
zuko2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
blinks musn't cry....
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:24:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so I shouldn't be cussing at the guy that just cut me off because he didn't want to miss his left hand turn?
FubarSnafuTarfu ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:46:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing does not equal road rage.
Joeliosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents would like a word with you.
WombatBeans ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't tailgate anyone ever. I HATE tailgaters, being tailgated leads me to yelling obscenities and wishing the dipshit could hear me (and since they're so close, maybe they can!). I don't brake check them either, I just slow down gradually, if I'm going to be rammed I'd MUCH rather it be at 40 mph than 80+. Usually once I'm going 10 under the fucking moron finally gives up on riding my ass and goes around or backs off.
tablesix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a great strategy. Think I'll start using it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you're from New Jersey too?
i3igNasty ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:31:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in a construction family, working on construction crews. My parents taught me when its ok and when it's not; I've passed this on to my kids. I know I can't censor everything they hear, but as long as they understand when not to use those words, we have more important things to worry about.
WombatBeans ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:12:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They know not to swear at school, and they really don't use bad language at all generally speaking (my 10yo still asks me if crap is a bad word). I have other things I'd rather worry about.
Although on the school note I have told them if someone is bugging you and you've asked firmly but politely for them to stop and they don't you're more than welcome to tell the kid in whatever colorful terms you choose that off is the direction in which they should fuck. My oldest is going into 7th grade, anyone that says their middle schooler hasn't heard swear words (or used them themselves) is a liar.
i3igNasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I made weird noises while working because of this comment
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's where I learnt the word "bollocks" and "shit". From my mom just driving around.
Georgia_Ball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to read that over to understand the metaphor. I thought you were an extremely morbid person at first.
Dont____Panic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:56:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you. Your kids are chill.
Better-With-Butter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chill, or future assholes?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jawa299 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming assholes only come by having parents who swear while driving.
achammer23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone has to keep flicking off those passing-lane puttputters
Synux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're not cussing at my kids I don't care if you're foul-mouthed around them. I've told them repeatedly, "Not everything I do is worthy of mimicry." and the same holds true for everyone else. Go ahead and show my kids your weaknesses and I'll try to be a good parent and help my kids put it in perspective.
AsAGayJewishDemocrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel like I should be personally responsible for censoring my language around children that aren't mine. I won't curse them out because I'm a decent human being, but it's not my job to act like someone else just because your children can't handle it.
patternfall ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:32:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a question of respect, not responsibility.
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. But you're a liberal gay Jew. Your idea of right and wrong is absurdly twisted.
tha_dank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ppl seem to not read usernames...
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fuck em.
pooptits1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey kid, FUCK FUCK FUCK".
Dudeinabox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if you're around someone's kids in a Best Buy?
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, you ain't gonna see me in one of those bitches.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
hamlet_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about if you are in Best Buy and there are kids around?
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You ain't gonna find me in that place
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I curse more. They need to know what to expect.
bangarang710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
while in line to snag chick fil a today, some high school kid was swearing belligerently behind me to I guess impress the girl he was with. i didn't say anything but I wish I would've just didn't want to cause a scene
MetalOrganism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Story time.
My brother (6'2" 210lb U.S. marine covered in tattoos) and I (6'0" 180lb human bean) had finished working out, and were on our way out of the gym. An early-30s mother and her small daughter, probably a 4 or 5 year old, were walking out right in front of us.
I looked to brother and said, "That was a good workout, I'm going to be sore as schnitzel tomorrow". He looked at me and said, "Dude you need to shut the front door". I replied, "Why don't you go fund yourself you piece of shrapnel". He was about to call me a "son of a bit-rate processor" when the lady turned around with a look of playful scorn on her face and said "Thanks" for watching our language around her daughter. The tiny human learned no naughty words that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you think about it though, this is obscure. We can make a very specific subset of noises with our mouths, providing we are not within hearing distance of other people, under a certain age.
patternfall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all social conventions are obscure/arbitrary if you simplify them like that, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. But I find it weird than in such a wanna-be progressive society, even people who are otherwise all about educating children about sex etc, seem to get offended about the idea of swearing in front of children. Is that because we want to preserve the power the swear words have for our own use?
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i've had to scold uncountable numbers of teenage boys for this problem.
awesomesonofabitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest knows swear words. I'd much rather her hear them from me and understand she can't use them in specific social settings than to hear them and misuse them at poor times.
People really need to take the sticks out of their asses when it comes to curse words. They work beautifully in many situations and they do, quite literally, zero harm.
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:49:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's cool, glad you don't mind. Some people do though, and I'm going to respect that.
Squared73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or in a formal setting, like I don't know, Best Buy.
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who shops there deserves their children to start spouting vulgarities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Out of respect huh?
"I hear you are building blocks at at second grade level, little Johnny. That's fucking amazing!..Oh I am so sorry, sir"
"Iz all wight"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something. This one time I went to dunking donuts with my two friends(1guy and 1 girl) anyways when we got there we were the only ones and so we're having a weird conversation.anyways my friend was on her phone and was trying to hook up my other friend with a girl and the conversation led to sucking Dick and she said "please if a girl says she doesn't suck Dick, she's obviously lying" and she started talking for about another minute or so. After she's done talking I say "so, do you suck Dick?" pretty loud and she just gives me a sort of horrifying look and I turn around. Turns out there was a old man with his son or something that had walked into dunking donuts and he heard me ask the question and was just shaking his head and shame.I kinds tried shaking it off. Anyways that's why I don't say anything dirty/offensive in public. Edit: word
kyleadam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get highly irate when people swear around kids. I don't have kids or anything but for some reason it just seems like it takes a real piece of shit dirtbag to start spouting off "fuck"s when there are children around.
PancakesAreGone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same way. If I'm out with people, that's usually the cue that there are kids around. "...Pancakes isn't swearing? Whats the deal? Oh shit, there's a kid around isn't there?" which usually ends with me pointing in the direction of the child.
Adults can suck eggs, if they fail to understand swear words are perfect words that everyone is able to easily understand now, that's their problem. Kids? Fuck it, parents have enough issues with kids they don't need them walking around going "That lady that cut you off is a fucking cunt. Where'd that bitch learn to drive?" because they overheard me complaining about some cunt on the freeway over dinner.
karmacraze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I met my nephew (newly acquired via marriage, 5 yr old boy) for the first time a few months ago, first sentence out of my mouth had a f-bomb. oops. I mentally told myself to stop swearing, unfortunately my mouth does not listen to my brain and whenever I let a swear slip out I would curse more "fuck, I shouldn't say shit." :doh:
Vanetia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends try to self-censor around my daughter and I always laugh because it's totally not necessary (and they know it by now). My daughter is in the car with me on a regular basis. As such, she has already heard every swear word known to man and a few that haven't made it in to the general lexicon of society (yet).
I just taught her to keep the swearing to herself and at home; not at school. If anything because I don't want to have that conversation with her teacher.
They're just words.
Leash_Me_Blue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant name
10/10
tjbay12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have caught myself mid swear before around children and tried to correct myself. Children and family are the only people I don't swear around (outside of a professional setting)
marissanicolee15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I was at my dance competition this weekend observing other groups performing. I easily overheard heard a loud man maybe in his mid 20's saying "fuck" and "fucking" repeatedly not caring there there were two young children in the row behind him. The parents of the children seemed bothered, but did not want to speak up, as his topic of conversation was how easily he could knock someone out cold. If I were the parent, I would have spoke up. That is SO rude to me. I am have a "potty mouth" according to everyone I know, so I don't mind. But damn, time and place man.
KSKaleido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was having drinks in a bar with an ex-co-worker who had recently quit the company we were working for. Needless to say, lots of shit-talking and general angry yelling about the state of the company, the people in charge, etc etc...
This guy was sitting near us yells right at me "HEY DO YOU MIND NOT CURSING IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER?!" I look over and there's a little girl, maybe 8 years old...
Maybe don't bring your fucking daughter to a bar? Ever think of that?
ickmol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come give 'Straya a chance.
WW4O ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, there's a difference between being polite around children because they might not know what words mean and might repeat them, and catering to a fully grown adult that can't handle the word "fuck."
EggheadDash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if you're at Best Buy?
iamthecheeseweasel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent of two little kids who like to repeat everythinggggg, thank you!!
uhLuke_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May I ask why you don't like Best Buy?
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feel free to share your shitty experience over at /r/FuckBestBuy!
I bought an Asus gaming laptop in February of 2014. The employee asked if I wanted to buy the warranty, and said it covers ANYTHING except submersion in fluids. I said sure, why not. Fast forward to a few months ago. I'm at my house playing a game and I get a call from my father in law saying that my wife has been in an accident. He got a call from the police, and all that could tell him was that she was on her way to the local hospital. I grab my computer and run out the door. I realize I left my keys inside. Set my computer on my car, run back inside to get my keys, and jump in my car. I live next to the loop, so I turn on to it. A few seconds later I see something fly off the back of my car. FUCK. Pull over, grab it off the side of the road (it's destroyed of course) and get to the hospital. Luckily she only has a broken leg.
Next day I go to best buy and tell the customer service person what happened. She sends me to geek squad where they tell me it's not covered. Talk to manager, he refuses. Also refuses to put me into contact with the district manager. He says that since I have no way to prove what the employee told me about the warranty I'm shit out of luck.
Call a few stores and ask the computer employees if it would be covered. A couple say yes, get transferred to the manager, he denies they said that and that they are telling him they didn't say that. Fucking wow.
Call corporate, they tell me nobody would say it is covered. I give them the employee's ID number from the receipt, and they refuse to look it up so we can ask them what they said the warranty covers. She refuses to give me the district managers contact info. I ask to speak to her manager, and after 30 minutes on hold I hung up because I had to pick up my daughter. Tried again later and had an hour wait time both times. I've filed a complaint with the BBB with no response.
I've also contacted stores and I tell them what happened to my laptop, but I say i didn't have the insurance on it and they tell me that would be covered 100% had I had the warranty. Then tell them I did have the warranty and they immediately say they are going to grab a manager then deny ever saying that.
I spend $1,500-$2,000 a year at best buy and never buy large purchases off Amazon because I want to be able to walk in and get my problem solved. Since that now has no benefit, fuck it. I'll just put my Amazon prime to work.
A lot of people say its a warranty and not insurance when I post this and that Best Buy doesn't claim it covers accidental damage, so here is an image from their site about the warranty:
http://i.imgur.com/KXrUXZ3.jpg
http://imgur.com/EyKsYXf
Update: a couple of weeks ago I emailed the CEO my experience and a member of the "Best Buy Executive Resolution Team" contacted me and told me they would not be upholding the warranty.
Stikki_Lawndart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would be considered excessive damage. If it were a drop from a table, that would be covered, but you said it was destroyed. Just like their cell phone plans cover cracks and drops, but they don't cover drops from elevated heights or bent frames (hard to bend a frame from a normal height). Sucks that they kinda baited and switched you man, but you gotta read the warranty itself. Likely it says something along the lines of "does not cover excessive damage".
Neil_Anblomi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once swore on an elevator that went from the airport to the auto garage complaining to my sister who picked me up how "fucking" terrible my flight was. Only then did I realize that there was a family with a small kid in there too. I looked at the kid, then at the parents and said "Oops, I'm sorry". They laughed. The kid was dumbfounded though.
Nebula15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm a bad person, I swear around kids all the time. I feel I shouldn't have to censor myself just because your kids are around. It's just a word. If I say "fuck" out of frustration, I see nothing morally wrong with that nor will I punish my own kids for doing so as well.
Bring on the down votes.
ChamferedWobble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even at Best Buy?
Bsuhawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for user name. Seriously.
magicpostit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If the parents swear around their kids, my filter is coming off. And if they're only 6 months old, it doesn't really matter anyways.
the_arkane_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's around other peoples kids you just try to be more imaginative with the swearing so they learn something.
msanthropologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent, I really appreciate this kind of attitude. I honestly don't care if my kid hears random swearing, and honestly I swear in front of her at home more often than I should. But hearing another adult in a public setting catch themselves or apologize for it helps reinforce the idea that swearing is not always appropriate, and it shows to me that you're a generally respectful person. So thanks for that. Little things like that really do make parenting easier.
toonytoon180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I just realized curse words are kinda dumb. Like why can't kids just say them? It doesn't matter... Obviously you don't want to curse around kids out of respect for the parents but why should the parents care??
Domriso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I purposefully don't try to censor my speak, because I think that its ridiculous that there are "swear words." I continually use curse words until they just roll off my tongue like its a normal part of speech. I've started to sound like an Australian. Or, at least, an Australian according to reddit.
Hubley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about when you're in a best buy?
ParaBDL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing is a good social stigma. I moved to Australia from the Netherlands a few years ago and English swear words have way less of a stigma for me than Dutch swear words. So I sometimes let swear words slip in front of my partner's nephews and nieces purely as I don't see them as bad words in the same way English natives do. They know I don't mean to swear, so they don't make a big deal of it so the kids don't notice they are bad words to say.
aliensmademefamous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when I'm with my friends in the car and we are driving through a neighborhood with the windows down and explicit music playing, my friends always get angry or weirded out when I turn down the music around a park or when I see a parent with kids. I just think that you can do whatever you want with your kids, but definitely respect the fact that other people's kids might not be exposed to things like that so keep it to yourself.
Mohlemite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read the original comment as "sweating in public.' which made your reply confusingly funny.
Mirrorflute88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair everyone except for your own children are someone else's kids.
ok_ill_shut_up ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a parent, I don't care at all. People can swear in front of my son. He knows that's just how some people talk. He'll survive. I actually think it's good for him.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go by the kid's age. Around toddlers, sure, no cussing. Maybe up to 12 or 13 or so. After that, any parent who thinks their kid hasn't already heard every swear in the language on the street or school yard is living in a fantasy world.
siscily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read his comment as sweating instead of swearing and was so confused for a second.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a place like chipotle and I asked this 15 year old kid if his food was for here or to go, I was also having a conversation with one of my coworkers at the same time and it didn't "click" with me that he said for here. So I went to double check and the kid was like "yea haha it's no big deal, I forget shit all the time where I work, fuck that place lol". It really caught me off guard, but it was pretty hilarious how comfortable he was swearing in a restaurant with tons of adults in line around him.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:09:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but fuck them.
AutonomyForbidden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:42:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent, I too respect this. It is hard enough raising a well behaved child, that any outside respect/self control is greatly appreciated.
Crogdor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird to me that we try to insulate kids from swearing, yet we do it ourselves. If it's wrong why don't we stop swearing and set an example? If it's not wrong, why insulate the kids - they're just going to pick it up anyway.
fdsfdsfdsfdsfdsdsada ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:58:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I deeply appreciate this. If those little fuckers hear anything once, then they'll repeat it for months. Not a problem in itself, but then I'm fielding questions from their bitch teacher for weeks even though I tell her talk to our goddamn nanny, because I don't give a shit.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I hate parents that don't filter them selves around kids. Let them be kids, don't make sex pun on the things they say.
Zaidswith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think swearing and sex puns are two very different things.
1III1I1II1III1I1II ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you extend this 'respect' to the adults too? We don't all enjoy hearing the dregs constantly cursing.
Fuck_Best_Buy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad
senatorskeletor ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:42:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the rub, though. Everyone draws this line differently.
jackimpalerii ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 14:23:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even when kids are about?
toadstule ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:50:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I have kids, rather than heckle other adults to be a good example to them, I'll just tell my kids which adults I think are setting a good example for them, and which are not.
TwiztedImage ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:20:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent. I can't seem to convince people of this concept.
A friend constantly approaches strangers and asks them not to cuss around his kids. I've tried telling him that his actions are equally rude and he should instead take the opportunity to have a teaching moment with his child.
But then that makes me the ass apparently.
toadstule ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:39:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since it teaches them that some adults behave incorrectly, my approach is incompatible with the age-old parenting paradigm that kids should respect adults just because they are adults. That's still a really important value to some people. He's probably just trying to raise respectful children the way he knows.
TwiztedImage ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:53:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another valid point. I was raised to respect everyone, but if they chose not to respect me (or disrespected me) that I could make a decision to withdraw that courtesy (but not to disrespect them).
I realize that seems very complicated for a child so I'll accompany it with a short story.
I had a teacher who, if you needed something from him (extra time on a paper, a bathroom break, pretty much anything), would ask you "Who's your daddy?" Now this is circa 2001 and that phrase was extremely popular, but from a teacher I thought it was wildly inappropriate and I would never humor him. I started out by saying "lol, not you". But he would start denying all my requests. So I just started walking out of class to go to my locker or whatever the case may have been.
He got irate at my insubordination. I told him I didn't respect him and refused to recognize his authority because he was immature. If he wanted to send me to the office he could and we all sit down with the admins and discuss why he wanted me to call him "daddy".
We came to a tense agreement. I didn't usurp his authority in front of other students and he didn't single me out in class.
So my concepts of respect, the giving and taking, and who gets it are likely very different from my friend. I hadn't considered that aspect prior. Thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since that "value" makes children more vulnerable to being victimized by adults, I'd say it's a positive step to confront that notion.
the_person ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mum did this and it properly taught me not to swear. I don't swear much IRL now that I'm 15 (which isn't common among my friends). I do swear online/texting though.
TwiztedImage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll admit; I swear. But it's highly dependent on my surroundings.
Fat_Walda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's rude to ask people not to swear around his kids, but it's not rude for those people to swear around his kids?
TwiztedImage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm in Wal-mart and I answer the phone in the checkout line and say "Hey Tom, how the hell have you been? It's been awhile", and some stranger approaches me to lecture me on how they have a child with them. I'm not going to take them seriously.
Am I being rude? Perhaps. But it's not overt, its not directed at anyone, and its not in anger. It's a much better teaching moment for a parent to a child than it is a parent to an adult. If anything the parent draws more attention to it than it would otherwise receive.
I'm not talking about some cussing rant or anything. Dropping F-bombs in public is obviously a little more egregious.
Fat_Walda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't see my other reply where I addressed just that. Everyone has a different level of tolerance for these things. 95% of people aren't going to care if an adult stranger says "hell" in the proximity of their child. However, I was walking through the grocery store the other afternoon without my son, which is rare, hearing a couple casually throwing "fuck" around in their conversation. That's inconsiderate.
TwiztedImage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, no I missed it sorry.
I will say this though. I refrain from using "fuck" as much as i can but if i slip and someone comes up, interrupts my conversation, and is condescending and has a parental tone. I'll apologize, but I'll ask them if they'd like to be a parent to me or their own child.
If they lean down, tell the kid I'm the devil and I'm a horrible human being. I honestly wouldn't say anything. If that's how they choose to parent.
If they can manage to get my attention, let me know its bothering them without being condescending, glaring at me, or trying to be my parent. I'll be much more receptive to it. That's rarely the case when I see my friend do it or when I see it done to, or by, others.
They take offense to it and pick up their cross/pitchfork and go off to set that person straight and I just think that's the wrong way to approach it. I think it sets the wrong example for the child and only escalates matters.
That person is still inconsiderate and an ass, but there's no reason to stoop down to that level. Kill it with kindness so to speak.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:29:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is perfect. I knew sheltering your kids and getting pissed off at others was wrong, I just wasn't sure why. Thanks!
wykydtronsf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Been swearing since the 2nd grade essentially. Parents just taught me not to use "bad" words in school. Never once got in trouble for swearing and as far as teachers were considered I was a saint.
Teaching your kid not to use certain words shouldn't be hard as it made out to be. And getting mad at someone because your kid overheard them say a bad word and they start repeating it is hilarious. The little kid clearly has no idea what hes saying so anyone getting offended by a little kid repeating a word he has no idea what it means need to unrustle their jimmies.
Fat_Walda ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:33:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, but people have varying degrees of what they consider acceptable language. It's just being a polite human being to not assume where the boundary is with other people's kids.
My father has been using shit and damn and hell in front of my son for 4 years. My son miraculously hasn't picked up on any of it. Occasionally he remembers his audience, but more often than not doesn't. But if someone I didn't know started dropping fuck or cunt in front of my son? I use those words on my own time, but you can bet I'd be talking to you about it.
KillerKittenwMittens ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like they've never heard it before
jackimpalerii ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, then I guess it's fine.
[deleted] ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 14:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cause they'll repeat it, even in a formal setting.
jigokusabre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the parents' problem.
Tommy2255 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They'll do that anyway once they start swearing, because they won't know better because nobody will have told them. If you tell kids "never ever swear", then once they realize everyone swears sometimes they'll have no filter on it at all until they figure things out for themselves. People who grow up not swearing cuss like sailors when they start. It's deliberately teaching them the wrong lesson. If you tell them "don't worry about swearing, worry about who you're swearing in front of and where you are", then you can hold them to a consistent standard as they grow up. I don't think the idea that different standards of behavior are appropriate in different circumstances is too complex of an issue even for very young children, and it's one that needs to be taught early anyway because there are countless behaviors that are acceptable at home but not at school.
Vandechoz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...they won't understand what you mean. They'll think they won't be allowed to make promises/oaths because that's "swearing".
transmogrified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Swear to me you'll never swear again!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't bring your kids to places where it's mostly adults
Black_Thorn_SC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Captain America disagrees
jackimpalerii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:25:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:34:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:05:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy cannolis man, chill.
Sarahthelizard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:35:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, welcome to adulthood cocksuckers!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because parents can be fucking insane and bitch you out for saying something in front of their little brat who then repeats it in his kindergarten class or some shit. Although having a real life Eric Cartman sounds like a dream.
Heromann ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:48:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But then they might learn bad wooooords!
Damindenie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:24:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't so much about kids learning bad words. It's that kids don't know when they shouldn't use those words they just heard you say.
Heromann ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:32:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if parents actually had communication with their kids, they could tell them that. Words are just words. Kids are going to hear them, whether it's on the street or a video game or a tv show/movie. Plugging your ears and pretending that they don't exist does nothing beneficial for kids. Just fucking talk to your damn kids.
MikeSV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that parents will tell their kids not to say certain words but then they will hear the parents use that language. It's confusing to a kid. Also, kids don't understand context very well and have a hard time understanding when things are appropriate or not.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with that is that it's not a stranger's responsibility to make a kid's parents "right" by avoiding swearing.
It's a parent's responsibility to make their kids understand that those words shouldn't be said even if they hear others say it.
Now don't get me wrong, I avoid swearing in front of my friends' kids out of respect because they've directly asked me to, but being expected to not curse in public is outrageous. Curse words are part of my lexicon. I'm not about to start watching what I say in front of every child I see.
Heromann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like the other guy said, it's not my responsibility to make sure your kids don't say those words. I never go out of my way to curse in front of kids, but in public it slips out sometimes. Your comment on parenting and parents who use curse words in front of their kids doesn't really work in this context, as we're discussing kids hearing it in public, not from their parents. Kids are going to hear these words, to pretend otherwise is naรฏve. It's up to the parents to make sure kids understand these words and why not to use them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I let my kids swear and why not? I do it all the time. My wife didn't like hearing then swear though, so we have it where they can swear around me, but not in front of her so they learn how to filter it. I guess it works in its own way. My big thing is if they get used to hearing the words, then they don't become taboo and therefore can't be used against me. How many times have teenagers fresh in the art of swearing, used it to piss of their parents. You don't hear them use other words though, which means they know that swear words will get a rise. Now my son or daughter will swear and so what, I'll swear too, we can all swear together, I'm not gonna get mad over it, they'll have to find another way to piss me off
Come_In_Me_Bro ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because the words are CURSES! Spooky evil things happen when they're uttered.
hvrock13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why not it's just a word
TheKandyCinema ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:28:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, I see swearing as not a big issue.
When I grew up, I said "Dang" and "Frickin" but I never understood why I say these substitutes, when they mean the exact same fucking thing.
I swear a lot, so that's why I'm so indifferent with it. I honestly wouldn't care if kids are swearing as long as it's in moderation by their parents.
Sarahthelizard ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:35:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, plus they sound the same, too. So you might as well be saying them since we know what you mean.
Deratoki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...And half the time as a kid you'd say the substitute but it sounded so much like what it was supposed to mean that adults would accuse you of saying the actual cussword anyways.
The amount of times I got in trouble when I said 'Frickin'' instead of 'Fuckin'' as a kid is pretty ridiculous.
jackimpalerii ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:31:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really have no issue with swearing, but I respect that other people may not want their children to be using certain words. Hence why I try to rein it in when in public places.
SinkTube ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:59:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck do you respect the parent's wishes? If they said they don't want their kid exposed to the word "duck" or "chair" would you respect that?
jackimpalerii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do I respect the parent's wishes? Simply, because I want to. I'm making an assumption that people are uncomfortable with public swearing around children. Maybe I'm being silly by making this assumption. Most importantly, I'm saying that this is the manner in which I like to act - I'm not suggesting that you or anyone else act in a certain way. Thanks for your reply.
jorgegil96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because not everyone is like you. In the real word if a kid goes to school and swear he's going to get in trouble (even if you and me think it's stupid) and if later on they go to a job interview and swears a lot the employer will probably not like that.
Duck and chair won't cause any harm to nobody, swearing will, even if you find the concept of saying words and getting offended by them stupid.
spencer102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because its something incredibly minor and easy to do, and why the only reason not to is if you want to be a huge prick?
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you would stop saying "chair" in public just because some stranger didn't want their kid hearing it for some reason?
spencer102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a huge difference between someone asking you to not swear and to not say random words, but yes, if someone politely asked me not to I probably because why not?
SinkTube ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:16:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference.
Why not? Because it's ridiculous. It's a perfectly useful word, why would you restrict yourself just because someone else doesn't want their kid hearing a word?
spencer102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not even going to answer 1. You know the difference, you're just being obstinate. 2, of course its ridiculous but I'm not going to get in a confrontation with some bitchy parent over something so pointless.
TheKandyCinema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I definitely tone it down when I'm in public near kids. I'm not going to stop swearing though just because a kid is near though, I still want to get my point across or my anger out.
ronglangren ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I curse like a sailor in front of my son.
He knows its not proper or acceptable and I do not do it in public.
He thinks its hilarious when I get mad because I did something stupid and call myself a fucking moron.
effedup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are going to swear, the key is knowing when it's appropriate.
the-pun-master ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not my fault if I'm in a Hot Topic talking to my friend and some little girl hears me say "fuck." If I specifically notice kids I'll self-censor a bit but unless I see a child I'll "shit" and "fuck" in public all I damn well please.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not my kids = not my problem.
jackimpalerii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:38:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you apply this to everything? i.e. if something isn't your responsibility, it doesn't matter how you act?
DisruptivePresence ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:49:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Courtesy is a two way street. For every person who doesn't care about swearing in front of kids, there's a person who doesn't care if their kids scream like maniacs and bother everyone around them. The world is better when we all try to be nice to each other.
jackimpalerii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. So many people seem to think they should only do something/act in a certain way if it directly benefits them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What I say in a conversation that takes place in public is my business, if someone's kid isn't polite enough not to eavesdrop on strangers it's not my problem.
jackimpalerii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, fair enough - I see what you're saying. I should have emphasised that I mean loud, clearly audible swearing.
Vike92 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:55:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are joking right? That's the most selfish thought process ever.
BonJovisButtPlug ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:32:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why can't kids swear? Is it really such a problem if little Johnny says shit if he drops his milk in the cafeteria?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I wanted my life to be impacted by children I would have them.
Defttone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not encouraging our little trouble maker over here but its the internet you are bound to run into a selfish person eventually. I want to say i dont care about cussing in front of kids but usually i dont know they are around until i do then i feel bad.
Prester_John_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when kids are about.
ask_me_about_kirby ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:08:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. It's pretty natural for most people that I interact with.
DiegoGarcia1984 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's pretty fucking natural.
ftfy
DatGDoe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:17:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, that is socially unacceptable?!?
Since when?
TheKandyCinema ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:27:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I'm out in public with my mom and she hears someone say something as little as shit, she flips out and says you shouldn't be swearing like that in public.
I can say the same for lots of adults.
domoarigatodrloboto ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:07:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's more of a courtesy thing. If it's just me and a friend, yeah, let's swear all we want, but if I'm walking down the street and there's a kid within earshot, I try to tone it down. If I had a kid, I wouldn't appreciate some guy walking nearby swearing his ass off.
tforce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watch your mouth /u/domoarigatodrloboto , you shouldn't be swearing like that on the internet
dollfaise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a picture of an old Dear Abby column in which a wife wrote in to complain about her husband swearing. Abby wrote a 10 point long list for why you should stop swearing including: it makes you look smarter, it would make your mom happy, it will make people respect you more, etc. I nearly laughed out-loud reading it.
There's this general belief that if you swear too often, it means you're unintelligent. And I was surprised to find that one of my friends, who I thought was fairly laid back, feels the same way.
DatGDoe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:32:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can understand their perspective if it was the 1950's but its not. It's 2015 swearing is a common thing on TV, music, everywhere.
If you have a small vocab and all you do is swear (or use swears as a filler) it can make you seem unintelligent. However, if you know when to swear and when not to, DO WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're spot-on, the trouble is the people who don't know when to and when not to.
dollfaise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That paper wasn't from the 1950's though. The original started in 1956 but the current author is the original's daughter, who took over in 2002, and whose photo is alongside the aforementioned article. Also, I found this article by going through backlogs of items that need preserved and the paper hadn't degraded so it is definitely no more than 10 years old. And the person writing in to Dear Abby was a younger wife who admitted that her husband did not swear in front of their kids but that she also wanted him to cease swearing in front of her. Which you would have thought would have come up while they were dating and not after marriage and a baby...but whatever.
Also, I mention my friend because she's in her late 20's and she agrees with the sentiment that it's rude and unintelligent. I don't agree with it - I quite like swearing but can easily turn it off and switch to more formal chatter when required, as I now do with her - but I do think the age of the paper and the attitudes I've seen still do indicate that swearing is a no-no. Not for everyone but for enough people that I still find myself thinking, "Really? Of all the things to offend you, a swear was what you came up with"
barristonsmellme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find I swear more than most and I don't mean to, but I also have no intention of not.
I tone it down in places it needs toned down in because I'm respectful of other people. Like if I wanted to go to somewhere nice and other people wanted to go somewhere nice, i'm not going to force them to listen to my unpleasentries. It's a bit bloody rude.
But at the same time I am not a fan of those offended by swear words. It's words. Like people that go "urghhh don't say moist I hate that word."
No fuck you. moist.
cactuscat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think swearing is fine, but like perfume and make up it should be used conservatively and carefully to,produce desired effects. If you swear a lot then it just sounds common and becomes meaningless.
kpyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Superfluous cursing makes you sound like trailer trash as well. Saying fuck just to fucking to say fuck is fucking trashy, fuck man.
TheManInsideMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend used to punch me whenever I swore around a kid. I still watch myself around kids now.
Punching can lead to positive change!
Crooty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even in a formal setting, fuck formality swear words are just words.
NeoCoN7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to swear occasionally when I was training new starts in a call centre. I knew it upset the other trainers but i didn't care.
Sometimes you just have to swear to get your point across.
I hated saying that you're likely to get an "uncomfortable" call or a "difficult" call.
The reality of working in a call centre is that you will get calls that can only be described as "shitty".
All employees were at least 16 (the average age was around 25), they've heard bad words before and will definitely hear them on the phone.
As long as swear words are used away from the clients ears and fit the context then I had no issue with them.
barristonsmellme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very very brief stint in door to door sales, and our "pitch" was so obviously sneaky and fake that it hurt. The worst part was, what we were selling would benefit the people we were trying to sell it to.
I used to love it when our group supervisor was off with someone else and I could use the "great, they're gone, they're a dick head and they want us to use this cheesy pitch. If you've got a spare minute I can tell you how we actually save you money using sneaky little loopholes and if you don't like it that's fine. I'm not going to stand at your house and try and fuck you over."
My improvised pitch got me so many sales and i didn't feel bad about it.
PoliteIndecency ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that if you swear too often or in a context that doesn't deserve it then the words lose value and relevance.
And frankly, I look down on people that inappropriately swear in public because it shows they don't have respect for the comfort of others.
Now granted, swear has a lot of value and there's a right place for it. But it just comes off as lazy when people overuse them. My opinion of course.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living in the city, I get so frustrated when I hear people just SCREAMING random obscenities. It happens everywhere: in the market, the parks, the train... I personally don't care about these words, but many others do, and you're also shouting them in locations known to contain children.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"So then I say 'What the hell am I, a fucking bitch to you, cunt?'. You could imagine the look on that motherfucker's face!"
Sixty-to-Zero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I had a customer come in to work yesterday, and he was Irish, and I'd met him many times before. But that dude swears out loud so much it's unbelievable. My store has a children in it about half the time so seeing him saying "fuck that shit I ain't buying blah blah piss shit cunt" is just, nah.
TheKandyCinema ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I mean that shit shouldn't be acceptable.
Like I get the occasional Fuck that slips out if you drop your wallet or something, but if you're just swearing for the hell of it around kids, that's low.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I learnt something in America... Don't say "cunt" in America, it's a bad idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As others have been saying, if it's around kids, I would actually refrain out of courtesy.
I don't have an issue with cursing around friends, piers, or people who understand, but I am not going to expect others to feel the same.
John31269 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I always say, "It's kind of become common language now."
repeat- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even help it... no matter where I am. Fuck.
THUMB5UP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
EMPM, but who the fuck doesn't swear in public?
wee_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. yes.
Mollywobbles225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am, too, just make sure there aren't kids around. Or that you're not shouting it across the parking lot at the grocery store.
TheBlackSpank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one's not okay around kids. I don't have any kids and I curse like a fucking sailor, but I get pissed at my friends if they start talking that way with kids in earshot. Have a little fucking respect.
RAWR19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear a lot, but the one time I try not to swear is when I'm around my parents. They know I swear and that I'm not their perfect little angel anymore, but it's more of a respect thing. If I let one slip, I apologize for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The obnoxiously loud teenagers on public transport who needlessly swear after every word when theres a family with 2 kids sitting just behind them makes me think otherwise.
I can still remember the atmosphere in a certain train car about 4 months ago. You could cut the awkwardness with a knife.
CIVDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? Not swearing is about not making other people uncomfortable.
Leoxcr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear at my work and boss doesn't give a shit. (I work in a call center) I don't swear at my customers though (obvs)
jlb8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should try swearing in white-tie. I promise you it's even better.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how I feel about this one. I curse around my friends and stuff when it's just us, but I am also a cashier and the customers who use a lot of profanity casually are usually my trashiest customers. It's not that I think cursing makes you trashy, but I've always associated people who curse in public places like grocery stores/restaurants with a trashier demographic.
raj96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is the rated R audience sportscaster wannabe that swears in front of kids
DownhillYardSale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I hang around with more people with children I have to censor myself. I curse. A LOT.
They usually giggle/laugh at me, though, as I catch myself.
"Seriously, what the fuck is that shit?
realization
"Uh, yeah, it's really confusing."
looks around to see if I've done permanent emotional damage to their little innocent minds :)
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I think swearing if used correctly is fine. It's the way you use it. There are some sentiments that need expressing and swearing is used to amplify that without getting in the way. Swearing like you're 13 and you found the list of bad words to say when you're mad at your parents is not so much ok.
Stubbing your toe and saying "Fuck" or something similar is a lot easier than expressing that kind of feeling than anything else. Watching the situation turn bad and swearing is possibly the point at which you know things are bad. Anger is much easier to express when you have words you don't use until you're mad.
It's a very clear line as to when it's used correctly. You use these words to make the thing you mean more clearly expressed. That in turn means that you don't use those words until the situation is right which makes the words more powerful. I think I am actually a bit too liberal with the swearing, but it's still useful and if I used it less it would only make it more pronounced and amplify the effect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm cool with it even in a formal setting, I don't like formality.
ookle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Australia. We swear in suits.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was on the metro the other day and two women kept swearing (pretty quietly, but I was sitting next to them).
I'm not offended in any way, but it is a quick way for me to label you as trashy if you drop two f-bombs in a period of ten seconds.
lorlorlor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yes
McGobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that swears constantly and it's really annoying. He basically trades "uhh" for "fuckin'" and also uses cursing to emphasize his sentences. Louis CK made fun of one of his friends once by saying he curses so much because he's so afraid that you'll stop listening that he'll curse to make whatever he's saying sound more interesting than it is. I try to refrain from saying "fuck" because I'm terrible at speaking already and want to be better, and I want my "fucks" to mean something when I say them.
jsmys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuckin' eh
chum_guzzler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boss casually swears like a sailor in every meeting, even with external firms. Nobody bats an eye.
_Rogue_Shadow_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't understand "bad words". Why are they bad? Why do people get offended by them even if they weren't aimed at that person? I can offend someone without swearing, so what's the point of censoring swear words?
BluEyes10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can remember when I was twelve and I was about to get in trouble for cursing again. My dad took a deep breath looked at me and said "Hell I guess you're old enough now, you can curse but don't curse just to curse. You have to either make it tasteful or have a really good reason."
JFens96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just swear regardless of social situation or the people around me, only if the situation warrants swearing (e.g. if I drop something or hurt myself). Besides, everyone's heard swearing before, or will do at some point in their lives.
NSA_Chatbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah, buddy.
SICCNESS206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This right fucking here!!
macweirdo42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny, as a kid I never swore, not even when I was alone, but now that I'm an adult, I have no problem swearing, even in public, as long as there are no kids around. That's my one rule - I don't give a shit if adults hear me swear, if they're really adults, they should be able to cope with hearing a naughty word or two. I just don't want any nearby kids to pick up my potty mouth, which I think is a legitimate concern - I don't want to be that guy that taught a 5-year-old at the grocery store to say, "Fucking shitballs!" But other than that, anyone else who has a problem with swearing, fuck 'em, because you're a grown-ass adult and swearing is simply a tool to easily and quickly convey emotion via verbal language. What's the big fucking deal?
Drews232 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just keep in mind it affects others' opinion of you. We had an otherwise skilled and experienced employee that was not going anywhere in the company because she would pepper her sentences with fuckin' this and that. Just totally unprofessional = not management material.
gracefulwing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For my last three years of highschool, I went to a school that had kids of all ages and swearing was completely acceptable as long as it wasn't used as an insult. it was very refreshing and surprisingly, a big factor of what made it feel we were all on an even playing field.
Tundergaarth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I can't swear and i can't smoke then I'm fucked
mikihoshii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christmas time, 2012. Me and my best friend are hanging out at the mall, which has a See's Candy store in it. My friend LOVES See's Candy, so we go in to buy some. We end up getting in line behind a grandmother and her grandkids. Friend asks me in a whisper why me and my girlfriend make so many anal fisting jokes. I laugh and as part of my response I accidentally yell "ANAL FISTING!" right as the grandmother turns around and asks us a question. I start losing it and my friend looks mortified as the woman looks very confused.
Indie__Guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't swear in front of kids, parents get extremely offended.
growlergirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Africa with a group of people, mostly British and American. We were talking about places where we used to work and I started talking about my old boss and how he used to swear all the time like "fuckin wash the fucking lettuce! We got a fuckin catering order!" I'm Australian so I don't give a shit but they cut me off before I finished the story because 'okay, that's enough swearing', 'yeah, that's a bit too much.' Like, they were pretty offended.
I remember thinking, 'Really? We're in South Africa, we've had children begging from us and driven through shantytowns. We've seen some incredibly upsetting shit yet me swearing upsets you?'
As long as you're not around children, or even if you are, there are really a lot worse things in this world than swearing. Fucking check your priorities, people.
spyker54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... Or in front of children
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a formal setting, use polite curse words like Feck, Scalywag, or Pederast. It's classy!
NewNavySpouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some places it's illegal to cuss in public.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Maine. Swearing in public is mandatory.
sebastianrenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be ok with that until I started working in a coworking space where I would take client calls or meetings and there was one guy who regularly cursed all the time. It detracted from the professional atmosphere and made me a little embarrassed.
Doctor_Arkham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't understand swearing. Why are some words worse than others?
I'm not trying to make a point, I genuinely have no idea.
TheJix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you people live? That's totally natural where i live, with or without kids,babies,your dog,whatever.
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it isn't around children and isn't being used in an angry way towards someone to either threaten them or make them feel uncomfortable in any way, then I see no problem with swearing. If used correctly it just adds some harmless emphasis
Shrubberer ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:25:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In which hands you hold your knife and fork. That's just arbitrary bullshit.
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:36:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take offense when you claim I'm "eating wrong" however I have no problems with arranging seating or being extra careful so that I don't elbow anyone by accident. I'm not a barbarian, I'm just left-handed
Cure4theEn3my14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:14:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hold my fork in my left because I can't cut shit with my left hand
jacktheBOSS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're right handed then you're doing it the socially acceptable way.
ceetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then I stab the fuck out of whatever I'm cutting with the knife and eat off of it instead of the fork. Seems you aren't supposed to do that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:58:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My big sister was the only left handed person in our family and I learned how to hold a knife and fork from her. Yup I do a lot of things backwards thanks to her but it makes it fun.
Hobosock ยท 3161 points ยท Posted at 14:51:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping pleasantries if I know someone. Just because I didn't say good morning does not mean that I no longer like you.
psykulor ยท 3028 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little rituals are social glue, though. A canned greeting doesn't have much value on its own, but it does help to exchange non-verbal cues. If I say "good morning" to you every day, you'll get to know the difference between a happy "good morning," a sad "good morning," and an angry "good morning." And if I usually say "good morning" but haven't today, something's probably wrong. A good friend will pick up on things like that and be ready to help. Why give up that opportunity?
Show-Me-Your-Moves ยท 1599 points ยท Posted at 16:28:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. A lot of people on reddit fail to understand that much of communication is nonverbal. It's about feeling out how the other person is doing, whether they want to talk, etc.
We get it, the weather is not an enthralling subject. But if you don't learn basic social skills, you will never get the opportunity to converse about the stuff you actually care about.
[deleted] ยท 611 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Small talk is just walking down the hallway of possible conversation topics and poking your head down different intersecting hallways.
Talk about the weather, boom you can talk about something you did outside this weekend. "Hey Bob the weather's been real hot this weekend" "Yeah Joe there was no sun at my son's game, I sure felt it" "oh what sport does he play" boom, conversation.
Just try to direct conversation to (if you're American) FORD (family, occupation, recreation, dreams) and not RAPE (religion, abortion, politics, economics).
BoboMcBob ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:00:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agreed, but only if it's a coworker, or somebody who I only talk with periodically. If it's a really close friend, we already know what topics we're both interested in, so usually one of us will just launch in, and we're off to the races.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:56:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, there's a difference between people who wake you up at 9am with a beer saying "drink up" and Sally from Accounting who has filed 4 HR complaints this quarter and you're stuck next to her a meeting.
baudelairean ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:35:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't say a word to Sally.
TheKingOfToast ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:44:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"He raped me with his eyes."
uberchristopher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best conversation I've ever seen on Reddit. (year and a bit or so...)
jfong86 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:29:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is perfect and these are definitely topics to avoid talking about. Gonna steal this.
thenichi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:18:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Protip: Also avoid rape itself
Boomz9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Verbal rape, brilliant.
uberchristopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And if you don't actually care to make friends with the person in question... This is great advice. I've never heard of this FORD/RAPE concept, and I'm enthralled to have it summed up so perfectly. But be forewarned; following this will ensure you never actually connect with a person on a level beyond acquaintances.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:39:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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baudelairean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They mean dreams as in goals like your goal to sleep with a swimsuit model.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They weren't in them.
SlykeZentharin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do generic philosophy and fantastic philosophy stand? Because... we discuss that. Often.
SayceGards ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who is "we" and that's probably the difference
SlykeZentharin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My entire friend group.
SayceGards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're already friends. It doesn't count as small talk anymore
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is fantastic philosophy?
SlykeZentharin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Philosophy of fantastic things, E.G. morals of the treatment of elves.
We also discuss fantastic science and mechanics, but those aren't a grey area.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah cool, I'm somewhat invested in the rights of robots and A.I.s myself
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As small talk?
SlykeZentharin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long, drawn out, multi-hour long conversations.
hewhoreddits6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That probably goes under dreams, or their past. FORD is about how someone is now. Once you talk about those things then you talk about future plans and their own history, as well as your own.This is where you really get a good feel for what their outlook on life is and some of the "personal philosophies" as you mentioned.
sternford ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Politics should be talked about. Having that as a taboo encourages people to push it to the back of their mind and not even think about it. There can't be change if everyone just keeps their ideas to themselves. I'm not saying there's places where you shouldn't limit the topics, like work, but as a blanket statement "don't talk about politics" is not good advice
GeneUnit90 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:41:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Politics and the others in that category suck as things to talk about with people right off the bat though. Better to get to know someone a bit, find common ground, then discuss stuff like that. Jumping straight into the polarizing stuff will guarantee a lot of people won't want to give your ideas a second thought. You don't first meet someone with, "So what's your thoughts on abortion."
toxicpaper ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:55:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I'm all for killing babies, I just don't like the idea of giving a woman a choice.
thenichi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like pushing this position because for whatever reason people (and especially the media) like to frame things as having two sides with an appropriate middle ground to meet at. So if one side is ideal rather than the middle, then the only way to get to that side is to hammer the other side.
If one side is adamantly anti-abortion, the only way to make it optional is to be adamantly pro-abortion.
uberchristopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Easy there tiger, you're talking at Reddit here. We don't understand things that aren't black or white. What are you saying? Should I hate baby killers or WBC? Please, just throw us a bone.
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saying the media likes to frame issues as having two equally legitimate sides and implicitly pushes a middle. For example, climate change is pitted against climate change denial, anti-abortion is pitted against pro-choice, and teaching biological evolution in schools is pitted against not. Of course, in each case the two are not equally valid points of view. In the abortion debate, however, the debate can be reframed by making the pro-choice side into a pro-abortion side. Then pro-abortion is battling anti-abortion and pro-choice is suddenly seen as a middle ground.
sternford ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:06:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you don't
uberchristopher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:48:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're both right; it just depends on the depth of the relationship you want to create in the moment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Politics fucking suck, are boring, and are depressing as fuck. Not a good subject.
Acmnin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:17:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't really care about talking about FORD.
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 19:23:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they complain about having no friends or no one to talk to.
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 19:37:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:54:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, literally hostile over conversation topics.
Occupation is literally talk about what you do, its a good topic, one you hopefully know something about the listener might be interested.
Family, most people aren't hostile about talking about it.
Dreams, don't you talk to people about what you want to do with life?
Recreation, try it you might be surprised.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 21:01:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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ucbiker ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:39:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dreams as in ambitions, dude. You're too busy with life to make plans for the future or have goals you want to accomplish? That sounds miserable.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ucbiker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:21:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks that you think people only care about getting a wife and a job and then after that they're done with anything until retiring and dying.
sseeeds ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These are the kind of things that give context (and can lead into) the topics you consider more meaningful.
Why talk about the environment with some completely random stranger? If I know a bit about you, we can find common ground or unique perspectives to bring to the conversation. "Oh, you live by the coast? You are from a drought-stricken area?", etc, etc.
How am I supposed to talk about politics with you if I don't even know where you are from? Your occupation can inform this too. If you are a unionized steel worker or something vs. a hedge fund manager it lends context to your political opinions and I might be more interested in where you are coming from.
Same with being single vs. family vs. whatever. You don't have to tell me about your marital problems, but maybe we have kids who are the same age and there is common ground, or at least lead into a discussion about politics and the new family tax credit here in Canada and whether the economics of it really are justified, etc, etc.
If you are just a robot who starts spouting off on economics right off the bat, then nobody will want to talk to you. If you warm up to it a bit, the conversation can be really interesting.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sseeeds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, then stop complaining that people don't want to have conversations about science or the environment. You have to lay some basic groundwork or you aren't going to engage many people.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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sseeeds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but if you say that there are certain topics you actually do want to talk about, then having some basic social skills and being willing to talk about FORD can get others excited to talk about the topics of your preference. And talking to a variety of people can be the spice of life, rather than just talking to those who are like you.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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tonycomputerguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ you sound like the most boring person on the fucking planet.
What a robot!
Small talk is not a social skill? Bwahahah. Oh good god, thank you, thank you so much for that. (Wipes tear from eye) oh man, please keep this convo going, I'm laughing my ass off. It almost feels bad to downvote you!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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sseeeds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
COHLE: Iโd consider myself a realist, but in philosophical terms Iโm whatโs called a pessimist.
HART: Ok, whatโs that mean?
COHLE: It means Iโm bad at parties.
HART: laughs let me tell you, you ainโt great outside of parties either.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:31:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
sseeeds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't downvoted you, and the joke wasn't meant to be mean. Rust is a better person than his partner, but he definitely doesn't have the personality or skill for small talk or parties. His personality is totally how I read you based on this conversation.
The closest I came to down voting is when you said that you don't find that people who want to talk small talk have the desire or ability to talk on deeper subjects. It comes off totally condescending. And of course it isn't true as anyone who knows more than a few scientists, economists, environmentalists, etc etc can attest to.
Carl_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, which beaches are you looking at? What do you most like about the beach or neighborhoods you're interested in? When's your retirement coming up? What are you doing to prepare for it? How will this be affected by environmental or economic changes? Do you have any apprehensions about your retirement?
It's cool if you don't want to talk about any of that, but there's clearly a lot that could be said about your future ambitions and how that connects to "important subjects".
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Carl_B ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough
tonycomputerguy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And that's all that matters right? What you care about?
Great stuff man, please continue.
You wouldn't happen to frequent /r9k/ do you? I think you'd fit right in, your autism is very strong.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You suck
Brosephus_Rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your gay
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:34:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too true. I'm a CHEVY man myself.
cth777 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:05:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username? ;)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chrysler person reporting in - love my (second!) 200.
Ford? Fuck Ford. I had to drive a shitty Ford loaner for 3 days and that piece of shit sucked so bad that ... UGH I'm still angry.
birdmankustomz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Owned a few Chrylsers over the years, never again. After having Chryslers, then Subarus, I have to say I'm now firmly in the Audi/ VW camp.
baudelairean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The R isn't that bad of a subject.
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually the people who would rather talk about RAPE have RAPE discussion under the R of their FORD.
arbloch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is far and away the best explanation I've ever heard for small talk. Bravo sir. If I wasn't poor I'd gild ya, but alas, I live in New York City and I'm not a banker.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sick of hearing "I hate small talk! It's so stupid, who the fuck wants to talk about the weather?"
No one, no one fucking wants to talk about the weather. No one wants to have a conversation consisting solely of small talk. There's no fucking substance.
The issue with your example, is that many redditors would respond to the "there was hardly any sun at my son's game" with "that sucks."
Then they would whine about how no one wants to talk to them. If you actually give a real response like, "oh, that sucks, what sport does he play?"
"He plays baseball, he's a decent center fielder, but he definitely needs to work on his batting."
"Oh cool, hey, wasn't there like some all star thing this week for baseball?"
"Yeah man, its the all star break! You watch the home run Derby? They had a new format this year, it was kinda neat!"
"Oh that's pretty cool, I didn't see the homerun derby, I'm not much of a sports guy, I was watching _____ (or playing _____) last night"
"Oh gotcha. It's kinda boring if you're not into it. My wife hates it, haha. What's _______ about?"
Now, after Mr sports guy has finished talking about sports, you get to talk about your game/show you watched. Maybe you'll go home and watch highlights from the home run derby and he'll check out your show/game. Maybe you find that you love baseball and just never realized it (maybe you find the stats fun? I hate watching baseball on tv, but I keep track of stats). Maybe he'll become obsessed with your show or game and you can talk about that all the time. Maybe he already plays that game or watches that show? Who knows, you may have just made a new best friend by talking about the weather
ViceroyFizzlebottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On Monday, I get asked how my weekend was. I almost always respond, "good? I don't remember what we did, but nothing bad happened." I can't remember anything distinct about any day even if it was eventful.
Nat20Bard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were just really sarcastic.
cuttlefish_tragedy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may want to consult a physician or psychologist if you're being serious. Not remembering your days can be a sign of a variety of conditions, physical and psychological. Some are benign and some, not so much. If you literally don't remember much about your days, even yesterday, it would be important to get that looked into.
ViceroyFizzlebottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eventually remember, I think I just quickly compartmentalize
Bastion34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your analogy is perfect and I will use it against everyone I know who refuses to learn how to small talk.
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like you've taken a class on conversations. Why is that a thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't, check my username though, I'm at a lot of events with small talk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice acronyms.
punk_ass_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if my occupation is in politics?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you never talk about it. Its like what I imagine being a doctor is like if someone always wants to talk about vaccines causing autism, except you often get yelled at and often just say you work in another field to avoid it :/
SiTing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an introvert I find the "safe" topics to all be small talk. I don't mind catching up on the "FORD" subjects with people I know, but if I just met you why should I scratch the surface?
I want to get to know your mind by talking about current events (which are usually politics and economics). Since I'm a religious person I like knowing about other people's spiritual views as well. After that we can talk about occupations and dreams.
hobbenobberschnobber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably could avoid talking about rape too.
Gyakuten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, praise Ford all day and everyday, my dear Alphas.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't get right at Ford, go for cleanliness!
papersupplier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But I love to start my morning talking about abortion
relevantusername- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU for saying "if you're American". I know of nowhere else where occupation/earnings isn't a taboo topic of conversation.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL. Why is it a taboo topic?
sturmspitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Earnings I understand, but I have no idea where occupation is taboo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Quite the opposite for me
relevantusername- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's seen as prying into something that's not your business. If a janitor and a supreme court judge are talking, it could put a divide between them right off the bat. So most people avoid it in civilised conversation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I can see that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In America there isn't that cultural problem.
Hell the former chief justice of the court used to like walking around the Supreme Court buildings and taking pictures for/of the tourists who had no idea the Chief Justice was taking their picture for them.
relevantusername- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:21 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not buying it, the rich look down on the poor to some degree in America. I lived there for a year and witnessed class issues myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One whole year? Compare that to living in England.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Occupation is so easy though, maybe not earnings, but you can talk about your job for at least 30 minutes.
BoltonSauce ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:18:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't seen this one. FORD and RAPE. Got it.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:42:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because a lot of people on reddit don't communicate much with people other than through text on a screen.
Noumenon72 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It goes the other way. Because I don't communicate nonverbally, communicating through text is a 100% perfect substitute for live conversation, and also lets me think more and talk at my leisure. Of course I'm on here.
Nonverbal communicators are boring as shit when you aren't aware of their double meanings and little games. I hope their whole method of socializing dies out.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you misunderstand. All humans communicate nonverbally. It's part of our animal instincts. It's not something you control, or choose to do. There's no "double meanings" or "games", it's just human behavior. You communicate nonverbally, even if you don't realize it. And you pick up on other peoples nonverbal communication, again even if you don't realize it. It's a subconscious thing, you don't do it on purpose.
Pupil dilation and tiny details of facial movement are major parts of nonverbal communication. Even the positioning of your body relative to the other person is nonverbal communication.
The only way you don't communicate nonverbally is if you don't communicate (except through text). The only way nonverbal communication will "die out" is if humans stop communicating in person, or if humans somehow evolve into a new species that doesn't have physical interaction I guess.
Noumenon72 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's entirely possible to imagine humans becoming as immune to all nonverbal signals as we currently are to skin temperature change (except for blushing). We're currently dogs, who can read emotions, we could become cats and not care.
I agree that nonverbal is a feature of the species currently, however I consider that to be a fact similar to how wolves communicate with nips and bites. It's unnecessarily painful compared to verbal.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we're going to have to invent about a million more words to describe all the nuance of nonverbal communication, but I guess anythings possible. Considering the average vocabulary has dropped like a rock over the last 50 years, I don't see that happening.
Noumenon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If nonverbal vanished we'd just have a less rich sensory experience and not even notice, like how we currently miss all scent cues due to our weak noses. Instead of more words I think we'd need more institutions, such as matchmaking to replace the emotional entrainment that's the spark in dating, and contracts to replace people's sense of trust and charisma.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You act like emotions are some negative thing that need to be removed. Humans are humans, not computers.
You need to get off the computer and out of the house, dude.
Noumenon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if you didn't have a sense of taste, but all good jobs, leadership positions, and dates depended not on your qualifications, but on exchanging things that tasted good. That's how it is for me with social emotions. I imagine that's how it is for social people when they try to break into fields where emotions like intellectual curiosity and obsession help you excel -- the fields get populated by people who get satisfaction out of stuff that you aren't interested in at all, and it takes a while to even realize how different they are from you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to be mean or offensive, but that sounds like a legitimate mental disability to me. It's unfortunate that there's no way to account for it in the current system. Sorry if I was an ass earlier.
Noumenon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:12 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking the same thing when I posted. If you can't taste and business depends on taste... you just have a handicap, others don't have to change. But it felt good to vent.
SayceGards ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:47:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To jump on to /u/_stonecoldsaidso's post ... do you have aspergers/ASD? Because social cues are really easy for most people. It's how we evolved.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even people with those conditions communicate nonverbally. Social cues are a form of nonverbal communication, but there's a lot of nonverbal communication that isn't related to social cues.
Noumenon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I'm more like, say, an Amish person. Relatively normal, till one day I looked up and said "You ever noticed how everyone lives? I'm going to define myself as being against that." Whereas before I just didn't use nonverbal (which there are many cultures that don't), now I'm actively partisan against it. Mainly because of Robin Hanson's writing about homo hipocritus, and how nonverbal uses verbal solely to add a layer of deniability to selfish actions.
SayceGards ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually took a course on Amish and Mennonite diseases and their culture. They dont define themselves as going against the norm. They do what they believe is right.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention you'll never learn the skills to communicate effectively in almost any profession.
wx_bombadil ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:22:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a weatherman fuck youuuuu
Show-Me-Your-Moves ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hahahaha sorry to rain on your parade, Tom. For what it's worth, I actually do find weather pretty interesting.
wx_bombadil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, no worries Cap. I couldn't resist.
I totally get that most people aren't that into it and that's cool.
SapphireRyu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I love most of the shows on The Weather Channel. Learning about the types of storms, Saltstraumen, different kinds of rare lightning... it's really awesome. Weather is actually awesome.
wx_bombadil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree, weather is awesome!
shutyourgob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just starting to learn this. As a formerly (and still sometimes) highly introverted person, I was always worried about making small talk because I thought I'd sound boring. But boring conversation is okay. Not everything you say has to be witty, insightful or interesting.
If you think of something interesting, say it. If you don't, say whatever is on your mind. Your conversation feels more natural that way and you learn to actually enjoy conversations, not just feel like you're "reciting" a piece of text from your head.
Lystaireen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need the small talk to get to the big talk.
Annon201 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:12:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except that much non verbal communication is an subconsciously/innately understood behaviour. Which kinda sucks for those who can't learn it, and instead has to learn to consciously be aware and mimic such behaviour in social situations without ever understanding it. It takes so much brain power to try and read social cues and react with the appropriate face/gesture/action/response within the time frame of the conversation that even a split second mistimed can very quickly break rapport leading to frustratingly awkward interactions.
lelarentaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People like those, if they can practise with non-verbal cues enough they can be really good manipulators, because they do it all conciously and deliberately.
Annon201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The scenario I described is a defining trait of autism.
lelarentaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know.
SirNoName ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I deplore talking on the phone
beardedheathen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care about things so I'm not missing much
jorgen456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if i told you, skipping pleasantries doesn't necessarily mean you don't have basic social skills
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most communication is non-verbal.
Rnmkr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, you have to also know to pick up on those cues.
I had to check up on 5 production lines (intern at mass manufacturing); and did the rounds before the 10 am daily meetings: reports on production, SHE incidents, quality, maintenance, etc.
The first thing was going up to the guys working on the lines: "hey, good morning, how's it going?" the answer you got, tone, body language would give you a hint if I should ask about something else or move along to the next line.
Tylensus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"A lot of people
on reddit..."Most people have some degree of social ineptitude. The thing about any forum is that it allows others to voice the fact that they're not great conversationalists, thus seeming to result in an inflated number of these people.
bitches_be ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never looked at it that way...
maryjanerx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
improveyoursocialskills.com is an amazing website for just that.
johnsom3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because a lot of redditors are socially awkward and would rather have as little interaction with others as possible.
Grumpy_Pilgrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
fuck_drug_laws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Maybe I'm just awkward, but imo, especially if you don't see the person every day. "Good morning" and shit every day can come across as very needy and clingy.
Triforceman555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... Nice weather we're having.
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And let's be real, no one actually talks about the weather, unless you're either just lazy, or reeeeally can't think of anything to say
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, its more like some of us manage to have perfectly good social relations without all that minor useless crap. In my experience most of the small talk and pleasantry stuff leads to only the most superficial of relationships, if even that much.
The "learning basic social skills" is particularly ridiculous given that different cultures have different social customs and far from all of them involve lots of meaningless pleasantries. But people on reddit tend to think the entire world (including all people) works the same as USA and maybe 2-3 other western countries.
Theoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this explanation. I've tried before to explain that small talk can lead to more important things, and the other person didn't seem to get that, and often wonders why they don't have so many friends. I care for this friends and am still not sure how to get this point across. Likeable person for sure, but just doesn't like to start up small talk unless he's trying to pick up a girl.
bananaking420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half of reddit has autism dude
corban123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:09:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non verbal ones are good too. If you're my friend, a hug is always the first thing that happens when I see you. You'll know my mood by my hugs!
TrappedAtReception ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:55:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Social pleasantries are a baseline of communication. They give structure for the nonverbal, and a starting point to more personal verbal communication. Only my mother and Mike Trout actually find the weather to be a stimulation topic of discussion.
A well socialized person should be able to understand and use small talk in the structural and opening functions. There is nothing more awkward than some one wanting to jump straight into serious topics without ever having once made small talk with you. Small talk is the first foray into each other's personality and style of communication. It's where I find out you have a dry sense of humor, or are more sensitive. Are you easily offended, or easy going? I need some baseline readings on you before we jump into a delicate topic. And I can get a lot of it from discussing the weather and how terrible traffic/the train/the bus has been of late.
chortle-guffaw ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:20:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My relationships with several people at work improved a lot when I started to initiate saying "Good morning." People like to be acknowledged.
greenkarmic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah me too. I arrive at the office really early and drink a lot of water, and the bathroom is at the office entrance. So every single day, whenever I have to go it means I also have to say hello to everybody that arrived after me. I got tired of it once and tried skipping a few people on side offices in the corridors. I would talk to them normally for the rest of the day but just skipped the obligatory morning hellos on the way to the bathroom. It didn't go too well... So I started the hellos again to keep everyone happy. I call it my morning bathroom tax.
SayceGards ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Made a bunch of friends/contacts by saying hi to everyone at work during the day
shamelessnameless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man you are 100% in point about the little things holding together the big things
dontcallmefatm8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by your name you must be a psychologist.
mbrw12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absofukinglutely nailed it
NickTheChocolate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some respects it's not even the non-verbal cues.
Just exchanging a few words every now and then bursts the bubble that introverted people can build up around themselves.
jamesmon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to try out the angry good morning
ViceroyFizzlebottom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I generally think that if I want help, I'll seek it out. 99/100 times I'm going to stubbornly deal with my issues myself. It's not anyone else's problem, even a good friend's.
soccergirl13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you take the AP Language and Composition this year by any chance?
psykulor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but I work in childcare. We have to learn a lot of things like this.
soccergirl13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I was just curious because that test had a section where you had to write an essay about the value of polite speech in our society and that was a way better answer than what I said, although I ended up getting a 4, so I suppose my essay was okay.
cereblown42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zizek says the opposite. The pleasantries exist to distance ourselves emotionally from those we are forced into proximity with. This is why best friends can greet each other with a string of insults. Look at the Empire Strikes Back and how Lando treats Han and Leia differently when they get off the Falcon.
SayceGards ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:50:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude.
Dude.
THAT'S NOT EVEN REAL.
darien_gap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's also a lot of signaling going on in social pleasantries, even if subconscious.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I see my cube neighbor when I'm getting into work, I'll give him a "morning!" but if I don't, who cares. We talk during the day, just that first interaction when we first get here, that's when the greeting happens.
dirtyfeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little rituals like sniffing glue
staple-salad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus it says "hey, I still like you and value you as a member of my social pack". Not a bad thing to acknowledge.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's before 11 am, the only response you'll likely get out of me is a moderately annoyed grunt.
Ghost_R11121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't want to talk until I've eaten something, it drives me crazy when people get right in my face and say "good morning".
OwlLecter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
psykulor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of them at once, and a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain.
EllaL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, although "how are you" or "how was your weekend" is usually rhetorical, it gives the opportunity if someone really has something they need to talk about or you should know for background.
Linearts ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you just actually say what you're trying to convey, though?
psykulor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:29:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The unfiltered truth doesn't always go over well. Even though you might think it's the best way to give information without any social dress-up, you're still adding social dress-up without meaning to. If you just say (for instance), "I'm upset!" to a room, you're conveying your feelings more directly than if you'd said "good morning" in an upset tone. But by being so upfront, you could be implying, "I'm upset and you should have known already!" or "I'm upset enough to broadcast it without caring who hears!" or "I'm upset and I expect you to resolve it!" People will take subtle social cues from you even if you'd rather skip them.
The pleasantries aren't really all that bad, to be honest. Nonverbal communication is not a strictly inferior medium to verbal communication, at least in the conveying of feelings and attitudes. There's no particular need to say what you're trying to convey.
garrettcolas ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People should just say how they feel... <Happy, Sad, Mad>
This non-verbal stuff takes too much time.
I feel like Chilon sometimes..
psykulor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:02:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you say how you feel directly, people will generally place a far greater urgency on that emotion. That can be dangerous. I don't want you coming up to me every day and being like, "I'm angry!" I'll assume you're angry with me, or that you're angry and there's something I've got to do about it. That will stress me out! Just use your cues!
If you don't have the time to tell me how you're feeling with cues, you don't have the time to tell me at all. Relationships are built on time! I don't want a three-second rundown on your emotional state - it won't matter to me if there's no relationship to build it on.
garrettcolas ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you care about relationships? Not people...?
psykulor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you DON'T care about relationships, you don't care about people.
garrettcolas ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It really doesn't work that way... When I care about someone, I help fix their problems. If you care about a relationship, that is time not spent fixing the actual problem. I want to help resolve what caused someone to feel what they feel, the feeling itself is a symptom.
It's inefficient.
For the record, "shoulder to cry on" types are also usually the people who physically do the least to help. Everyone listened to my coworkers plight, when they bought a new house, but you know who didn't listen? Me. You know who helped move their furniture into that house? Also me. You can guess who wasn't helping move that day.
psykulor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except feelings aren't always just caused by circumstances, and when they are they aren't always just fixed by changing those circumstances.
Many people have needs that are expressly, exclusively emotional. They need help processing emotions. They need to talk through irrelevant stuff, sometimes, to even figure out how they feel. So for these people (and they are, if anything, the majority) have an innate need for this time you call wasted.
garrettcolas ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't those people emotionally immature? To not have robust coping mechanisms in place to deal with emotions quickly and without interrupting their activities?
psykulor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No they are not. Many people support each other emotionally, and mutual emotional support is a grounding for many friendships.
garrettcolas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:22:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is laughable. The fact I have friends not based on emotional support proves this wrong.
Sounds to me like you want to feel like you help people without, you know, actually getting off your ass.
psykulor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds to me like you've convinced yourself that you're better than I am because you ignore emotional cues. You shouldn't belittle people for living differently than you, and you've often made sweeping assumptions where I've been careful to use qualifiers so to be more inclusive.
You can leave this exchange thinking you're right and I'm wrong; that's everyone's prerogative in debate. But please, be nicer. Be more aware.
garrettcolas ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I never said I ignore emotional cues.
I never belittled them, you did that yourself because you followed my point to it's final conclusion, which is that, talk is cheap.
You implied I can't have a relationship without supporting people emotionally.(Or them supporting me)
I would like you to reflect on a situation where both parties are emotionally mature individuals, or perhaps people who are lucky enough to not have problems. Would those 2 people be incapable of having a relationship? Of course not! Arguably they would have a better relationship than 2 people with emotional problems.
I_want_hard_work ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you
[deleted] ยท 501 points ยท Posted at 15:45:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BrinxJob ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:15:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something I do. I've been known to answer the phone with "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
ZandalarZandali ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:25:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the appropriate answer is "You little bitch, I'll have you know I was trained by the navy seals.
BoltonSauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I heard you have over 300 confirmed kills. Is that true!?
ZandalarZandali ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, and I'm trained in gorilla warfare.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:50:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would suck if it turned out to be someone important.
"Hello Mr. /u/BrinxJob, I'd like to talk to you aboutโ"
"What the fuck did you just say to me?"
BrinxJob ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:52:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why call ID is a great thing. Only people that ever call me are a few friends and a lot of bill collectors, anyway.
the_space-cowboy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:59:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What if you're friend just called with some really bad news? " What the fuck did you say to me?" "Well, my dad just died and I figured I would tell you first..."
scootstah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, I did that as a kid and it turned out to be the county sheriff on the other end - he was not impressed.
Long story short, my sister ran away with her paycho boyfriend (she was a minor, he was not). Parents got the cops involved, yada yada. My best friend's number was blocked on the caller ID. I had just finished talking to him a few minutes before the phone rang with a blocked number. Thinking it was him again I answered with "what the fuck do you want now?". Was not him.
Chroncraft ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:59:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends get a little creative with ours.
"What's up you greasy queef huffer?"
VoicesDontStop ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:06:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For us its " look who decided to waltz the fuck on in "
peartisgod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ours is a variant of that as well, "whoo the faack are you?"
goose4437 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be using this later
CToxin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that the way we greet is a "sup hoe" or "sup cunt"
halfdeadmoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I use "what's up, shitlips?"
Grandma's Boy is one of our favorite movies
Cshock84 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:24:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Australian I assume?
I'm American and it usually goes something like "What's up you dick? Come 'ere and give me a fuckin' hug. Big red headed bastard."
expatato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd still class that as "pleasantries".
I think OP is saying that they will just talk to them about something without saying hello. I do this all the time at work, I don't think it pisses anyone off but I'm not too sure now.
irishdude1212 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasss going on, bitch?
SalemDrumline2011 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I start a conversation with one of my friends, it usually begins with, "Hey douchebag"
Roninjuh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In England this is the norm
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually give them a hard punch on the arm.
GenSec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Australia?
jokersleuth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually start my greetings with, "yo wattup bro" and then the swears start. Bros know it's all in good fun.
tcain5188 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The comment chains under this display the male equivalent to the female "I'm sooo random."
JedLeland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And how's the weather in Scotland this time of year?
z500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends usually skip right to the racial slurs.
Inconvenienced ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Australian.
redwall_hp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Australian.
ZVLee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when i was in australia, a friend told me: there, you call your enemies "mate" and you call your mates "cunts"
DaemonJP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not an Aussie or Kiwi are you?
Edward_abc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What part of Australia are you from?
mx3o ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds cringy
alphanovember ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:29:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3edgy
ericthered13 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Australian!
hitraj47 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:02:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I go for the short and sweet 'sup slut?'
Cndcrow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:31:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you asshole!
highfive
Speed_Junkie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cringe.
TaurenPaladin ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:59:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An old coworker would get so mad if I didn't go out of the way to go and say good morning to him. Wtf?
skinny_beaver ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:14:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked with a dude who gave myself and another coworker the silent treatment for not saying good morning. Dude, you're a fucking adult.
fully_torqued_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:12:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to go to mediation with my boss and coworker once because I wouldn't say "hi" to him. It took him by complete surprise when I mentioned that he never once addressed me first.
The truth of the matter was that I intentionally didn't say hi, because there was a good chance it would turn into a 20 minute long story about how he got screwed over by someone 30 years ago. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.
wombat1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Context required. Was he a coworker at your old job, or is he your coworker that is rather aged?
TaurenPaladin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh, a previous coworker. He left.
Pandaling ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:49:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that some people have such an issue with this. I currently live with my bf and his family due to financial reasons and if I don't say good morning to his mother every single morning she throws the biggest tantrum like it's the end of the world.
I grew up with a family who didn't care at all if you said good morning or not. I eventually got used to it just to shut his mother up.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:29:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people at work think I'm a weirdo because of this. I only respond to "pleasantries," but never initiate them.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:28:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow weirdo here.
Don't think I've ever said "good morning", or "how are you?" in my entire life.
If someone asks me "how are you?" my immediate response is "good. you?" Every time, 100% of the time.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My canned response is "Same as always."
red_turtle_slide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same old, same old.
tambourinequeen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! This is me too. If you ask me, i will respond and usually even reciprocate. But I rarely initiate. It has come to me telling new co-workers who take up desks near mine that "I'm not a morning person/I dont small talk and just because I don't say good morning as i walk past your desk, it doesn't mean i don't like you" ... At one firm event, the alcohol brought out the truth in what one coworker thought of my not saying good morning to her as i arrive each day (and she was kind of a bitch about it too).
amazingmanderrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At one of my previous jobs we were required to act cordially and exchange pleasantries with people we know. I would say "hi, how are you?" or "good morning" or whatever to same person about 5-6 times in a shift.
ZetsubouZolo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I actually get really pissed by all these standard routines every fucking day. cause at my office people come in at different times and everyone separately says "morning" and I just don't wanna speak at all in the morning, just a little bit grumpy
LoveMeSomeKirk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:17:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've called those "arbitrary pleasantries" for years now and nobody seems to agree with me. It feels like such a waste of time and awkward shit - greeting, "how are you? fine, you? good. good." Commence worthwhile conversation.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:55:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
god i'm glad this is finland and no one says that.
BUT, i'd like to propose overwhelming them by actually going through everything you're going through, as they ask. every single time. to detail haha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly though, can't you just walk past the people and say "hi" and keep going? i doubt anyone will actually mind that much. say "alright", if they go "how are you?" back to them, but keep walking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha, let them care. although, i'd probably just always groan at them as i saw them and reply "tired." when they ask. they can complain at their leisure if they like.
d1sposablecomp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have this issue with at least one person at work. I am just not a very out going social person. I will respond with greetings but never initiate them. Most people don't think anything of it, they know that is who I am. This one lady has on multiple instants expressed how she is offended that I don't say hello to her every day, that it is personal. This is despite me making it clear I don't greet anyone, even my own family. I am sorry, I will not go out of my comfort zone to help you deal with your own insecurities.
bigdickbilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad does assumes that I'm pissed every morning if I don't have say "goodmorning" and have a convo with him. It's 7 in the fucking morning, I'm only here for a cup of coffee, not to have a chat about what I'm doing today because its obviously going to be Netflix every time.
thraviol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually greet my friends with "bitch" or some other immature insult, then leap into what I was going to tell them. That's usually only on Gmail though.
thesongsinmyhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I skip pleasantries at work and only people who aren't teachers don't seem to get it. Look, I have less than 5 min between classes and maybe a 50 min break at some point in the day, I'm going to get to the point if I need to talk to you at all.
msalberse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I do not say good morning to a co-worker, he will holler "Did I sleep with you last night? Did we wake up together?" And then answers his own questions saying Good morning, this is the first time I'm seeing you today. How is that better then me not saying good morning?
StephBGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My husband communicates with his family this way. If he has a quick question and calls his mom, they have to bs for a couple of minutes before he'll ask. My family is more direct and speeds that up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I only do this with really good friends.
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes boring ass small talk
onthewayjdmba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone thinks I'm rude since I don't do this. I will talk to them later in the day and I don't need to say hello every damn time that I see them.
Soiledalive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian. My friends typically get greeted by "Oi cunt"
dontsignalnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once greeted a friend by kicking my foot up into his line of site as I walked up. We were in a noisy crowd and he was looking at his phone, so I wasn't going to waste a comment that would probably go unheard until I was already standing awkwardly in front of him (or risk calling his name and having attention put on me). If I greeted everyone with a forced "hello, how are you today/this morning/this evening?" I'd feel like a robot. It's one thing if you haven't seen someone in ages or have only just met them, but between acquaintances and friends, it's just awkward, and it feels much more natural to just get a conversation going-- even if it's some small talk like "jeeze, it's hot today".
KidCasey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Head nod is all that's necessary in my opinion.
WildVariety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, we get round this in some parts of the UK with 'alright?' as a greeting. It's a hello, how are you, fine thanks in one word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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casse_toi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would come to the same conclusion. Some people have the social skills of a houseplant
Keyboard_Cowboys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand this, but at the same time it really bothers me when I greet someone and they just stare at me like I kicked there dog.
jacurtis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So true! I hate pleasantries and people get so offended. To me I hate it because the appropriate answer is usually "good".
"Hey joe, how's you're day going so far?" "It's good, and yours?" "It's good."
For once just tell people it sucks and see what they do. I do it all the time and its hilarious and proves that they don't really care. So why ask it. For efficiencies sake let's cut the crap and get in with it.
hwarming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My usual greeting of coworkers is just raising my eye brows if we make eye contact, sometimes I make the Jim face, seems to work well, I just don't always feel like putting in the effort of saying "Hi"
SoupMuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I'm not a morning person and all my coworkers have learned that just because I don't greet you,doesn't mean I'm mad. I just don't function well before noon.
slackware93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever one of my friends and I part ways after hanging out, we just tell each other to "fuck off" or "go fuck yourself". So much simpler than those standard goodbyes
PinkRocketNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You. I like you.
Lucosuave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is there a way to upvote this more then once?
DasBarenJager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always made it a point to say good morning and whatnot to my new co workers whenever I started a new job. It got people to remember my face in a positive way and made approaching them later a lot easier.
It's also the first step towards making office-friends.
PonkyBreaksYourPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once lost a friend I'd known for about 6 months because he said I never asked him how he was feeling etc
I mean I've never had a friend who's asked me that, we just kinda y'know, get along and talk about shit but this guy out of the blue got really pissed at me for apparently "not caring" and I haven't talked to him in about a year and a half.
It's not like he ever asked me or made any indication towards it, fucking wierd.
Tridian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's useful as an indicator though. If I greet someone like "Hey, how's it going?" and they respond like "Yeah, things are going good, you?" I immediately know they are happy and willing to talk. If I only get a one word response or no response at all, that's a pretty good indicator of their mood or attitude.
toonytoon180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Working in customer service has desensitized me to all pleasantries such as "Hello, how are you" "good thanks!" And such. They literally mean nothing to me now. And whenever I say those words to someone outside of the context of work, it feels really awkward and I have work flashbacks.
ThrowAwayThe6th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my coworker? (I hope so...)
jhutchi2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I had said good morning to my roommates every day in college they probably would have told me that I got real fucking annoying all of a sudden.
SwissCanuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a North American living in Europe, they seriously don't get this. I've been shit on while minding my own business in an elevator because I didn't say "Bonjour" drives me crazy. Apparently I'm the rudest fucker on the planet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was a child I didn't understand the need for pleasantries. I asked my mom, what's the point of these if everyone automatically says them. She told me it was the polite thing to do, so I did. I still don't understand...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i don't even ask people how their weekend was... just continue what we were last talking about or talk about something we're both currently doing, even after the 2 day gap
turdzip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. So much. New coworker of mine insists on either a pat on the back or a hand shake with a "good morning turdzip". I see you every fucking day. Just a "Morning" or "How are you" would suffice. Enough of this touching shit
Savipalooza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what happens when I say good morning to someone.
pyroSeven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, the closer I am to someone, the less I greet them. Our daily conversations is actually just one long conversation.
yepbuddy23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not used to say hello to people that I see or talk everyday, I do it but just when I remember to do it. And, most of the times when I'm at skype with my friends, when I enter in conference call, I don't remember to say hello, so they kick me from the conference just to make me say hello.
Friends.
Lithelm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in High School I used spend summer break with my dad and his wife and their daughter. About 2 weeks in she got all bent out of shape because I would walk through the living room in the morning to get to the kitchen and not say good morning to her and her 2 year old. Fucking really? I have tip my hat to you every morning if I decide to get breakfast.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially unacceptable? I doubt it.
Lanternchild ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 20:33:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a woman to have no wish for a child at all.
Aren't we enough people already?
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:58:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This.
My family can't seem to get used to the idea of me not wanting children ever. They always say "you'll change your mind!" or "but being a mother is great!". Just because I'm a women, doesn't mean I was made to only have children.
Edit: spelling
farie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My family can't get used to the idea of me not wanting children at this very moment, although I'm 100% on having kids in the near future. It would BLOW THEIR MINDS if I decided never to have them.
Meanwhile, all of my friends already have children (at the mature ages of 18-24), and they don't understand how I can find meaning in my life without getting knocked up ASAP.
So you have my sympathy. All of it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, I'm only 21. I still have two more years of college to go through, as of right now. Almost everyone in my graduating class from high school has had a child, or five, already, though. Every weekend it seems like they're getting drunk, or whatever, and they don't have a care in the world. Then on Monday, they're back to playing mommy and daddy?
It's not a game and I feel like so many people have babies when they're young because they're "cute", but don't realize the responsibility that comes with having a child.
Props to you for waiting!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:07:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
FullmentalFiction ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:21:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just things your mother will say:
all of the above
"But I want grandchildren, dammit!"
(Just should say as a male I get the same responses when I say I don't want kids (minus the biological clock thing)
Lanternchild ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:20 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Once you have it, you will love it."
"In a few years you will be old and saggy, only a child will comfort you."
"You need to see a Psychiatrist."
Beautiful.
Steffinily ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:28:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Child free women unite!
Taleya ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:35:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love kids. I'm great with them.
I also don't fuckin' want any of my own.
dons cool aunt hat and moonwalks out
bortnib ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when people say my partner and i should 'just try it'.... like you can just take a baby back to the store if it doesnt work out. no.
JiffSmoothest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You kinda can, in all reality.
FullmentalFiction ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:20:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. We need more, how else will we be driven to colonize the entire galaxy in a few hundred years?!
accountdureddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
we can just have planetary orgies!When that point comes, I'm sure we'll figure something out.Lanternchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:07 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think others work that perfectly well... I don't need to help.
jacktheBOSS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:32:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The U.S., a lot of Europe, and Japan are having or going to have serious low population growth problems actually. But none of that is your responsibility.
Taleya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
meh flaps hand that's what immigration is for.
jacktheBOSS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet all have a strong push to curb it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is nice to hear. I'm a guy and it seems like almost every girl wants kids. If I ever get married, it would have to be with someone who also has no interest in them.
wickyewok ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:45:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get really uncomfortable when people I barely know as "So are you having kids" or "when are you getting married". For all they know I may not be able to have children or it may be a sore subject. I find it a deeply personal question and people just throw it around freely.
kickingpplisfun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise, there's not really any need for me to "settle down and get married"- what the old ladies at church don't know is that I currently have a boyfriend(bisexual male). They also do this with an older guy who's gay and single, but he's actually out of the closet to the church(the old ladies in question are just a little oblivious).
nandiila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:40 on July 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
visit us. /r/childfree
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 00:58:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no one's forcing you mate. lol.
Steffinily ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:28:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah except every person who tells me I'm gonna regret it, that I need to have kids to fulfill my life, and I'll change my mind
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 01:37:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mate stop being acting victim and just live your own life. you always have a choice.
NEXT
Steffinily ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:39:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not acting like a victim, I'm just fucking sick of hearing this shit when I mention I don't want kids.
DrDougExeter ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell people you're not able to have kids. Problem solved. Trust me life is easier this way than trying to explain everything to people who will never understand.
FullmentalFiction ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:24:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but then you get those horrible puppy dog looks at you and the "I'm so sorry, I could set you up with an adoption agency though!"
Steffinily ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Good idea.
Tsuichendist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/childfree join us brother
Steffinily ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm already there. And I'm a girl lol. My flair is "Married. Cats rule, kids drool"
Tsuichendist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bad, apologies. I think I confused you with another user in this thread.
Steffinily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha it's fine! I'm still child free :)
Tsuichendist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, well thereis always that
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 04:15:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered!
Steffinily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not triggered. I am, as I said, fucking sick of people trying to tell me what I want and will want.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol triggered
Steffinily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
morieu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She never said she was being forced, just that she wished it was more socially acceptable. When friends and co workers tell you constantly to "grow up" and have kids already or condescendingly reassure you that they used to be like you but then did the mature thing...about a choice that is none of their business in the first place, it starts to grate on you. Child free people are often denied medical sterilization because doctors believe we are too immature to make that choice for ourselves. Does that sound like not being forced to you?
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 04:55:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lmao just stop taking things personally. It's your choice how you respond to your lameoid friends
Lanternchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:31 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Familys are always very harsh with women not wanting children. It's just not socially accepted a woman would not love to have children. I don't want to give birth, I don't want to help grow up, I don't want to be pregnant. I like children, if I don't have to see them more than four hours. Perfectly alright for me.
[deleted] ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 17:56:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone. If you live alone, you shouldn't have to go out just because you want a glass of wine.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:18:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People look at me funny whenever I say I don't go to bars -- if I drink, I'll sit down at home, pull out a rocks glass, put a couple cubes of ice in it and fill it up with some nice spiced rum. They seem to think this automatically qualifies me as an alcoholic, even though I generally only drink around 1 time per week at most.
Also, I don't live alone, but my wife doesn't drink so I am still drinking by myself. Sometimes I'll drink while we do something together, other times I drink while sitting there playing video games.
zcab ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:28:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to pay a 200% mark-up and by a taxi home to not be an alcoholic....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never rode in a taxi within my own country in my life. Taxis are absolutely insanely priced in Arizona, and I will only go out drinking if I have a ride home or can crash there. Either way though, I won't go to bars to pay $6/drink when I can buy a bottle of Kraken for $19 and get tipsy with other people for much cheaper and a more fun environment.
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I have only used a taxi for bar night or the airport. Otherwise I never use them either. If you think a taxi is expensive try the cost of a DUI. Peanuts by comparison, sir/sirette. I live in Tennessee and the cops here wait outside the bars and follow you. When I was really broke and bored I used to walk down to the town square and watch the DUIs getting passed out as the bar closed. Taxi or DD is a must here.
I'm with you though. Way too pricey. I only go to the bar to meet friends on an occasion. Otherwise I'm at home 99% of the time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah, no DUI's and no taxi's for me.
bokuwahmz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is this socially unacceptable if you're alone in your house when you do it?
LumberCockSucker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a stigma attached to drinking alone. While it's not a social activity many consider it socially unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some screening tests list it as a risk factor for alcoholism.
Some screening tests also say it's a risk factor if anyone has ever expressed concern about your drinking, and, ironically, the only reason why people have ever expressed concern about my drinking is because I drink alone as a result of living alone, and it occurred to them to express concern about it because it was listed on a screening test.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the problem is when you are literally drinking in a closet. My close family friend even when home alone drinks in the closet, its sad.
Abomm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The matter of being a lone obviously lends itself to personal preference. With that said, I don't see the purpose in doing something like drinking alone because I drink to lower my inhibitions or to elicit reactions from other people, which in turn make me act different. When I'm alone I don't care about how I act because no one is going to judge me so I have little inhibition anyway.
illyay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does playing Starcraft with random strangers count as alone?
SilverbackRibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a 12 pack...
FluoCantus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:50:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or like three or four whiskey sours.
sxtaco ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's an implied difference between "having a drink alone" and "drinking alone" though, similar to the difference between a glass and a bottle of wine.
LumberCockSucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think "drinking alone" implies you have a problem like many people do. Sometimes it's fun to stay at home get shitfaced and play videogames or watch movies. Now if it becomes a daily thing then you have a fucking problem.
zcab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the drinking alone conventional wisdom is for people that are doing serious drinking. Pretty sure small amounts of alcohol touching your lips while your alone is OK.
GumdropsandIceCream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live alone and I've been known to finish of a bottle or two of wine, or more cans of beer than I should if I feel it's needed. Bad days at work or if I'm watching a big event alone, so once a month/two months. In my opinion, it's only a problem if it happens regularly.
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. It only a problem if you make excuses for the behavior. If I feel like getting a little tipsy from time to time I'm an adult and that's my choice.
SilverbackRibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend (yes irl) that I also play video games with on Xbox. We'll go out and play a round of disc golf or something then both pick up a 12 pack on the way home. Then we'll both sit "alone" in our houses and play the fuck out of battlefield and chat till the beer runs out.
We are both fairly successful and employed people. I see nothing wrong here. Perhaps the sheer volume of beer is a little concerning, but hey...
smokey37 ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 03:18:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking ill of the dead, if you were a cunt during your life, I'm not going to remember or speak of you otherwise just because you've died
totes_my_oakes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:27:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree! Besides what are they gonna do, they're dead.
Yolo420SwagM8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:20:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. And whether or not we pay respect to them, or just avoid saying something bad, what the fuck kind of difference does it make for them, they're fucking dead.
H34DSH07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:13 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well this is probably taboo because you don't want people that liked them to remember them differently, just because you didn't like them.
In a conversation talking about a dead asshole I knew from highschool? Sure I wont hold my thoughts just so they remember them the right way. At someone's funerals or with said person's family? I don't think so.
teo730 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:03 on July 28, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also when people die, everyone's like "aw, I miss them so much", bitch you didn't ever talk to the person. Stop being so fake.
Flonaldo ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 17:36:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Starting to eat while others are still putting stuff on their plates. Why do I have to wait til everybody is ready and my stuff eventualy already started to get cold, i don't mind when others eat first either.
Pravus_Belua ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:48:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know the origin of the practice, but I was just raised to believe it was considered polite to wait for everyone to be seated before dining. I still feel that way, and I still do it.
That being said, if I'm at someone else's house and that isn't their norm them I'm not going to be offended if they don't wait for me. Even still, I will end up waiting for them anyway. It would feel rude to me not to.
tortillacat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, sitting down at the table is different than putting food on your plate. I mean, if there is some super delicious steak I am gonna eat it as soon as I can!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother taught me that hot food needs to be eaten while its hot. You can wait for the others when the food is cold.
Cunt_zapper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:26:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See also: Futterman's Rule
Cunt_zapper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live by Futterman's Rule:
I can't remember where but I thought I remember someone also adding to this that it only applies for groups of five or more. So, if you are with only two or three other people you should still probably wait until everyone has their food.
Usually when I'm eating out with people I will wait until someone insists that I eat even if they don't have their dish, and then I'll oblige them. I also insist that others eat without me. It's sort of a silly dance of pleasantries, but in a small group it's not a big deal. For big groups -Futterman's Rule!
Flonaldo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that. Fun fact: Futter is german for food, his name checks out.
Cunt_zapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neat!
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No idea, but at my house if you don't dig in right away, I think there's something wrong with the food. Just eat, it's what it's there for!
zapheine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also having to wait for everyone to finish eating before leaving the table. If I'm done and want to go for a ciggie or whatever, I don't need to ask to be excused, I just damn well get up and leave.
golfball1111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:34 on July 25, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Curb your Enthusiasm?
LlamaCult ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 01:34:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping is a VERY efficient way of travel. Fuck you if you call it gay.
ORlGlNAL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:13:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's gay, but who the hell cares? I'm pretty sure I can skip faster than I can run.
h8SJWs ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:48:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't call it gay per se. But homosexual.
thebeobachter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:43:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, but skipping is just too "gay" for you to be offended at people being offended by you skipping.
ddavid45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's very flamboyant
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:33 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You may not be gay, but it makes you feel gay.
Lufernaal ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 14:32:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smiling at strangers.
ostentia ยท 239 points ยท Posted at 15:34:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's socially unacceptable?
Plommonsorbet ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 17:56:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reporting in from Sweden here. Talking to strangers on public transport is like committing treason over here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear that's pretty common in Europe. I've always wanted to visit/live there but I feel like I'm too friendly in public to fit in...
que_pedo_wey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Northwestern Europe. Eastern is quite the contrary.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay that's awesome to hear!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Plommonsorbet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:22:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We just don't see any meaning in talking to strangers out of context. If there is no meaning to it then what is the point of it.
omnompikachu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what about life
Plommonsorbet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there is one "true" meaning to life. I do however think that we are able to find individual meaning to our own lives.
justrun21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forming a connection with another human being?
Plommonsorbet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to a random stranger for 5 minutes about the weather is not a meaningful connection to us. We just don't engage in superfluous conversation with strangers unless we have something to gain from it.
justrun21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. Sometimes I find joy in talking to strangers out of context. It's not "superfluous" to talk to another person if both people would like to talk.
Plommonsorbet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glad you can find enjoyment in talking to strangers. I really don't mean that this is the case for everyone, even in Sweden... I was merely trying to explain the rationality behind this Swedish norm... I'm sorry if I came across as rude :(
InfectiousDelirium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like heaven to me. I despise idle chit-chat.
johnnymetoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to Sweden
endospire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same in the UK. Heaven help you if you interrupt the deep internal despair that only London buses can induce
PrimesteFericera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I ever go to Sweden I'm going to chat up every stranger I meet just to witness the horrified stares.
I'm curious, how do people make friends over there, or hook up? Here in the U.S. it's common to flirt with a stranger at the bar if you're down for a one night stand, but I assume things would be different over there.
Plommonsorbet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweden has a huge drinking culture and once alcohol is involved all social norms go out the window. We are quite social if we have some context to talk to you, if you go to the bar it is totally acceptable to chat up strangers because you are both there to meet people and get drunk. Friends are indeed hard to come by, most of us have them from our school or university days. Though hard it is not impossible to make new friends elsewhere, people might try new hobbies or any activity that puts them in context to talk to strangers. Once you befriend someone you are usually invited to their circle of friends and from there on it's a lot easier.
PMental ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:55 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Really? Never occurred to me, Swede here too. I sometimes reflect loudly upon something that occurred that we both witnessed or similar, to complete strangers and it's seldom awkward. I guess it would depend on context and how you go about it.
Edit: I somehow ignored the "public transport" part. I think people kind of shut down or go into power save mode on those, so they'll often be unsure of what was even said which does make for a lot more awkward situations.
derglingrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:15 on July 27, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this a lot on reddit, basically that no one anywhere in Scandinavia would ever approach a stranger and begin a discussion, but I haven't found that to be true. Could be because I was an outsider speaking English, who knows.
redcolumbine ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:03:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, sometimes it's socially inadvisable. If you're a young woman, there are way too many people who'll take it as an invitation. When I moved to the city from a tiny backwater, I didn't understand this, and was followed by a coterie of various losers everywhere I went until I learned to keep my eyes down.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:31:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Not-Jim-Belushi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a teddy bear trapped in a giant's body, I'm a lot creepier looking when I don't smile
ostentia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that it's socially inadvisable sometimes (as a young woman, I don't really smile at strangers in the city either), but it makes me sad to think that some people believe that smiling at strangers is socially unacceptable.
redcolumbine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that kind of knocked me for a loop too. I've never lived anyplace like that, but I suppose some people do.
Bookoo995 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:31:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on where you are, really. I grew up in the south where southern hospitality is a real thing (sorry northerners who disagree, but I've lived in both the north and south and there's really no denying it) and smiling at strangers is basically expected. However now that I live in the north if I smile at strangers they often just look away or don't change expression at all. I wouldn't say it's to the point of being socially unacceptable though.
_josepi_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:41:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smiling and eye contact. It's common place here. When I'm in areas that it isn't...talk about a weird sense of empowerment. It's like I'm walking around, just owning the fuck out of everyone in the game of eye gaze. Then I come across a girl, we lock eyes and smile as we walk past each other. I'll turn around and tell her we should do that again some time.
Good times.
joker_RED ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:47:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an Asian guy who makes eye contact and smiles in southern California, the empowerment is real, especially in the Asian-heavy areas. It actually seems pretty normal in whiter neighborhoods, though it seems to label me as the prime target for "Do you know where _____ is?" or "Do you have the time?"
SlackJawCretin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, if I was lost I'd totally ask the friendly looking asian guy for directions
_josepi_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's irregular in CA? The weather there is pretty awesome for the better part of the year, you guys better be smiling all the time!
Here, it makes you a target for bums/change, but they ask everyone. Odds are, if you have your head up, you're more aware of your surroundings anyhow, it's all good all the way around.
fidelitypdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I live in Portland. There's no social standard yet and I love smiling and being friendly. We get folks from the east coast who just ignore you, sensitive liberal people who get really awkward because they don't want to acknowledge you (but they clearly saw you, so their eyes go wide and mind starts racing: should I smile? should I just keep walking? I don't want to be offensive. Oh gosh, why did I leave the house? I'll just smile and not make eye contact, will that work?), then you get the southerners and non-urbanites who happily smile and greet back. Then you get the too-cool-for-school Californians who look at you coldly like, "Are you trying to fuck me? I'm not interested." Lastly you've got the hippies who smile and happily try to engage you in a conversation about your aurora, spirituality, politics, or whatever.
I can smile and say hello to 5 different people and get 5 totally different reactions. Outside of Portland, Oregonians have a southern hospitality and will at least smile and nod back no problem.
SlackJawCretin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, as a northernr travelling in the south it took weeks to shake that. Strangers smiling directly at me usually means they are crazy and/or about to ask me for money, so people just being friendly because I'm a fellow human was a bizarre feeling
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes smiling at people can make them feel better. I smile at everyone.
obsidianordeal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the country. I donkey dare you to go on the London underground and start smiling randomly at people.
slimjim321 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went out for an early morning walk yesterday in a very quiet green area. Smiled and said good morning to several people walking their dogs or going for a jog. Either got blanked or a weird look, and then I remembered I'm in London
overpaidbabysitter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in Canada.
ZiberianHusky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you been to the Nordic countries?
RUBY_FELL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it not acceptable in Nordic countries? I'm traveling soon; this could be handy information.
cerberus_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone does it in Denmark.
LoRezJaming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Denmark is the friendliest country I've ever been to. It was awesome.
cerberus_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I moved there two years ago and I absolutely agree.
Garbaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In some countries yes. Heard from a friend who were in the USA for some time, that it's quite normal there. Here in Germany it is seen as weird (at least in cities. In the town I'm living in it is normal to greet anyone)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:43:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first job was a "Store Front" in front of Glamour Shots at the mall. For reference, I'm a female and at that time, 15 years old. My job was pretty much just to say hello and be nice to everyone who walked by, and show them some of our photography packages and specials to those interested.
Well one day, one older (mid 40s to 50s) and short (I'm 5'4, he maybe 5'2) man charged up to me and demanded "Why did you smile at me like that?"
Honestly, I didn't even remember smiling at him in particular, but there were so many faces that I assumed I must have. Totally caught off guard and confused by the hostility, all I managed was, "Excuse me?"
He repeated the question angrily and I was still fumbling for an answer. All I could do was apologize and explain I was just trying to be nice.
odie4evr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:30:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. What a jerk.
ostentia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, what a freaking psycho!
Ceegee93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC it's hugely frowned (heh) upon in Russia. Might not be true though.
Gordatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is true as far as I know because of an old Russian saying having to do with people who smile without reason being simple.
XzaylerHW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure about that. In eastern europe like slavic countries its pretty normal.
islamicporkchop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you been on a train in England?
Spear99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*in Europe
Bootyootyallyoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you're in New York City, in that case you may not, under any circumstances, make eye contact/smile at anyone
BRB_GOTTA_POOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Society in general has been conditioned to think that, no?
When a stranger smiles, or worse, speaks to me, my immediate thought is "What's this fucking weirdo's problem?"
Come to think of it, I haven't made a new friend in a while.
yoyo9797 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go to Paris. Just don't.
F4rewell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't try it in vienna...people will think you escaped from an asylum.
Fragil1ty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Over here in England, it's not very common, you'll get the occasional smile from others, but it's not very common. Like for example, I was out the other week, coming back from the gym and I was just walking, head up, music in and smiling at people who looked at me, some smirked, some smiled back, some didn't.
I guess it depends who you're smiling at and how they're feeling or what kind of person they are.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is here in Sydney!
If you go out, you must not look anyone directly in the face at all.
I hate it so much.
ace425 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have obviously never been to Russia. Sauce
justrun21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not socially unacceptable in California, USA
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:36:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ostentia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's just anecdotal. Something doesn't become socially unacceptable just because you did it once and it didn't work out for you.
allaroundfun ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:16:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That shit will get you killed
standardegenerate ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spotted the american.
[deleted] ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 15:32:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to strangers. Some people want to just have a talk at the bus stop. Every stranger who talks to you is not going to abduct, rape, or kill you.
partialveil ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:26:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Californian here. It's not that I think someone is going to abduct, rape, or kill me, but I just don't particularly like talking to strangers. Also I live in a big city and the bus stops are prime real estate for aggressive homeless people and drug addicts.. It's honestly smarter to not get caught up in any of that.
zweatytits ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree with you there. All the larger cities such as Sandiego, SF, Santa barbara, LA, etc., are all rife with homeless people, druggies or tourists, which will probably be the only people to approach you, and all three being none of the ones I want to have to deal with.
Bokonomz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:55:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Midwesterner living in New England here... People totally think I smile too much.
frenchpressgirl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:56:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New Englander here. You do.
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Former New Englander here. Everybody does.
noshoes-noworries ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:44:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just know that if I am out and about there is a 0% chance I want to talk to anybody.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:56:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone is necessarily in the mood to talk to strangers, even if the intentions are good.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:12:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but they will annoy the hell out of me.
WinterSon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No but they may bore, annoy, or just generally bother me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. But I also don't want to talk to someone when I'm sitting alone at a bus stop. I like to be left alone, and that should be respected.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and speaking of which, what's really all that bad about abducting strangers anyway?
Garbaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... said the rapist and murdered me.
The end.
Have a good night, kids.
Deathfrompopcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you giving out free rapes now?
Walk down the sidewalk at 123 ekaf street at 9:00 pm, come alone and scantily clad please.
Garbaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:11 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't get it.
sunpuppies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but any stranger could, and it only takes one. It doesn't hurt to be careful.
omegakill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TELL THAT TO MY BLEEDING RETINAS! GOD DAMN PEPPER SPRAY!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends think it's bizarre that I like talk to random people I meet.
I like to meet new people
tacmiud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't talk to strangers on the street, but I'm a university student living in a big city. The only people that aren't happy to just keep to themselves are almost universally either trying to sell you something or begging for money.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People probably try to avoid that because most were raised with the "Don't talk to strangers" rule, and are afraid that every stranger just wants to rape or murder you. That's how they were raised. That's how I was raised, and because if that I've become almost as paranoid as Tumblr.
WhatTheFhtagn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:53 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell are you meant to meet people if you don't talk to anyone?
TheUltimateShammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but here's the thing: What if I just don't like talking to people? Why would I ever want to talk to somebody that I've never met before without a reason for it?
thewhitegirlstruggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but I don't think it should be socially unacceptable to NOT want to talk to anyone out in public. Sometimes I just don't wanna be social, I should be allowed to stand at a crosswalk without being obligated to respond to every person that talks to me and pretend to be polite when 99% of them are trying to strike up a conversation by commenting on my appearance, which is rude to begin with, regardless of intent
wntf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:56:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but maybe i am when you say the trigger word. you never know
pukotoshana_murkals ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:53:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it can be a verbal rape of sorts. You are forcing other person to do something they may not want to.
Todd_the_Wraith ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:43:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never been in the South then.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:54:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Partial smile. Head nod. Move on.
TheAndrogynousPYT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've lived in Texas for almost my entire life, and I can tell you that this is not a stigma here. It's considered polite to smile and nod at people around you, even a "how ya doin," as you walk near passersby on the street.
Lady_Digress ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is considered rude? I've been a cunt for so long and never knew!
WhatayaWantFromMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live? I'm in Texas, I smile at pretty much everyone. I don't always get smiles back, but if it brightens at least one person's day I'm happy :)
IvanKozlov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come to the south. Here it doesn't matter if the person you pass by knows you or not, they will generally smile and probably wave hello.
spraychael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I must look like a fucking idiot then because I smile at everyone! (Most days, it's a Catholic guilt thing)
Ferelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This also depends on what part of the world you're from. My mom was from Tennessee, father from Brooklyn. Their approaches are different. I tend towards polite smiling and small talk myself. I know in certain other parts of the world it's frowned upon- I hear Britain and Scandinavia you'd get odd looks.
MortPrime-II ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah im English and when strangers smile at me i think theyre taking the piss somehow
Ferelar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. I smile at most people indoors (at a business etc) but if I'm walking down the street I usually keep to myself. A bus stop? I'd probably try to TALK to people. Would I be crucified?
sevensufjans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm English and I always always without fail smile at people as I walk by them. When I was at school it was kind of sweet seeing the same 'regulars' on my walk home and conversation eventually coming with it. I've read a lot of stories online about how it makes people feel nice to be smiled at by a stranger, but equally ones where it's creeped them out, so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Finland and Estonia you get downright dirty looks. It's been explained well, though, someone put it beautifully: we don't waste words. And small talk is a waste of words. Same with the smiling: when someone starts smiling at you for no reason on the street or in a place that's not made for socialising, we assume that you need something from us or have are not entirely trustworthy (thanks for that, Russian cultural influences). But apparently while it's a massive culture shock for the Westerners who visit, many have come to enjoy the effortless quiet.
I also used to work in a bar that had many exchange students, tourists or expats visiting and I was constantly astonished by how noisy American clients were, noisy as in endless chatter, like a flock of small passerine birds let let loose.
Ferelar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:26:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Yes, I could see how that'd get annoying if it were constant. I'm certainly very good at not nattering away, at least for an American. I'm quiet in general, but I do like to strike up nice meaningful conversation (I wouldn't say "so nice weather we're having", but I might point at a beautiful mountain in the distance and say "What can you tell me about that mountain?"). I could see how that'd get annoying (kinda touristy) but I like to speak with people from each area I visit. Unlike the weather conversation, I think that's no waste at all. On the flip side I'm comfortable with a half hour of silence easily. It's part of being partially a northerner, methinks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that is perfectly alright. I suppose it's largely about the time and place, too. An actual, relevant conversation is seldom looked down upon.
Ferelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, that's much better then! From stories I'd heard that if you struck up conversation with a stranger you'd get odd looks pretty much regardless. I'm sure that's more of hyperbole though. I would like to go with a few friends of mine to Sweden later on in the year, so I was fairly curious.
thebuttpooppirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't go to Russia.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something people in England are incapable of doing.
Defttone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How many people i momuat have offended over the years
neocommenter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://giphy.com/gifs/S3Ot3hZ5bcy8o/html5
Kvothealar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canada is awesome. It's rude if you don't talk or smile to strangers in my area.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find better reactions when I do a slight nod in addition to smiling. Not sure why that's more socially acceptable to people, but it seems like it is.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on the fence on this one. There are days where I definitely don't want to make eye contact with anyone. For the most part, though, I'll try to be polite.
I do my best to at least smirk at someone, hold the door open even if they're a little far away, walk quickly across the street and give a polite waive of "thanks" for not running me over, waive of thanks for letting me into a lane in traffic when I've got my blinker on, etc. It's not really that hard to do. I'm American, I was born and raised in Florida, and I get some of the craziest looks when I'm polite.
KickedInTheHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 14 I smiled and nodded at a guy on a bike that was passing by when I was coming back from 7-11 with my buddy and he took that as disrespect. He thought I was mocking him or something and took a U-turn and got in my face. He must have been high or something and started slapping me around. Eventually a car full of people drove by and yelled his name to get in the car and they all drove off laughing. Now I just keep my head straight and only nod and smile if they do first.
ColoredVeins11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to wave at strangers from car to car, as well as smile. It just seems like a nice thing to do, maybe warm up somebody's day. It's not like that will instantly give them road rage. My girlfriend hates it when I do that kind of stuff though. Never understood why.
Jay_Bonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you Scandinavian?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jay_Bonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jajaja you can definitely smile at strangers in Brasil. I am Colombian not Brazilian but my mother is Brazilian and I visit from time to time.
-Mannequin- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I smile at everyone I make eye contact with. It's a nervous smile, but a smile nonetheless. Not many people return it.
Queen_of_Nuggets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the north of the UK, smiling at strangers is a given. You are rude if you don't smile back.
Mark_Corrigan_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always try to smile at old people, but smile at someone my own age!? Might as well ask them to marry me.
Captain_Concussion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's just because I live in a small town in a state that is known for its niceness, but if I'm on a walk or bike ride I assume I'm going to be talking and be nice to someone. If I pass someone and neither of us say anything it just feels wrong.
tha_dank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know if it's socially unacceptable l, but I just starting doing this (mostly at girls) and I was really surprised how many smile back (some don't, but most do). I wish I would have learned this incredible trick when I was single.....
jojos_mojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a little weird and after living on the east coast I stopped doing it, but whenever I smile at people they either look the same or get happy and smile back. Pretty good end result regardless, it might help that I'm a petite harmless looking female
FullmentalFiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me while I go call the police. It's obvious that smile means you want to murder me or something... /s
Cunt_Bag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love smiling at strangers and getting a smile back, makes me feel good that I may have brightened someone's day.
MixolydianJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be higher.
Leprechaun_exe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is only considered normal behavior in America, based on what I've heard from easterners.
zoeblaize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love doing this. I either make their day or freak them out, it's great.
littlestinky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mustn't be Aussie then. It's more socially unacceptable to not smile and give a head nod while passing strangers in the street.
Supertrinko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I actually had someone trying to convince me that I have 'no right' to say "Good morning" to strangers as I walk past, and that it's rude.
Mickeymackey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or at babies (as a dude)
Sometimes a baby just stares you down in that stupid cute baby way and you have to smile and wave back And sometimes you get these moms/grandmas with "can I speak to the manager" haircuts and they look at you want to steal their diaper wearing baby away whisk them away to the labrynth and try to lure their daughter named Sarah in to marry you.
I'm just being human!
Donahue2 ยท 239 points ยท Posted at 17:34:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing hats indoors.
What the fuck do you care if I have fabric on my head?
cheezstiksuppository ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:39:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a weird western thing. In the west you take your head coverings off as a sign of respect. In the middle east and sometimes further east you cover your head as a sign of respect.
The_Ghast_Hunter ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:17:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
my grandma makes me do this all the time, but nobody else i know asks me to do that.
PanamaMoe ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:56:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an old timey thing. It is meant as a sign of respect.
subarctic_guy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:14:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Respect for what?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:33:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
subarctic_guy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:46:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like gramophones and the gold standard?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
subarctic_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But none of those things care if I wear a hat or not.
PanamaMoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, i'm not old timey.
Do I look all old timey wihmey to you?
subarctic_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound old timey. With a name like that you could be a 1930's mobster.
PanamaMoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn Vinnie they've figured us out, lets scram.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:31:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been under the impression that this is because in Western traditions, hats are worn outside to protect from the elements. Like they had the purpose to get wet in the rain or get dusty in the Summer, so they were always one of the dirtiest accessories. Don't want that getting in the house; though they don't quite have the same utility today, it's just another tradition.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But we wear our shoes inside?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:54:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In public, yeah. I never do at home and anytime I go over to someone else's house everyone has their shoes off, too.
pragmaticgirl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:13:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
who beside americans wear constantly their shoes inside? i really do not know anybody. it would enlighten me if someone could tell me which countries beside america do it
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:14:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm slowly losing my hair and keep a hat on at the table to prevent a stray hair from hitting my plate while eating. At my grandmother's house though, it's like I showed up with a stripper or something the way they respond to me trying to wear a hat at dinner.
glittered_turd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a signal. If you wear a hat indoors and it's not fancy as fuck, you're a bogan. By taking it off, you're signalling that you're 'civilised'.
source: live in Australia and say inappropriate things.
TheRachaelFish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was because you wear hays outside. If you wear one inside, it indicates that you're not going to stay long. Implying that you don't like the company you're in.
TrappedAtReception ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:12:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A touk/beanie I have no problem with, but a brimmed hat will shadow your face too much once inside and make it hard to read the social cues you display. Also, it extra hides your face if we're sitting next to each other at a table, and can inhibit my view of the next person down.
adaminc ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:20:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should try installing this new thing called... electric lighting. It really brightens the place up. If you can't see people with hats on after doing this, than you have a vision problem.
[deleted] ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 20:47:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TrappedAtReception ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only brimmed hat I own is a baseball cap. That I wear to baseball games. I am complaining about other people wearing brimmed hats indoors.
Drinkcoffeeplaygames ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:31:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've worn the same camo cap from sun up to sun down for the last year, and a Napa auto parts cap before that regardless of where I am. In the garage, in the field, indoors, at the table, ECT. The only time I take my hat off on someone else's accord is during the national anthem. Other than that you can't tell me not to wear one. If not being able to see my eyes makes you blind and deaf to my other "social cues" (my voice being a big one) than you have a problem.
UselessGadget ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like Bandit from Smokey and the Bandit.
.
Carrie: Don't you ever take off that hat?
Bandit: I take my hat off for one thing, and one thing only.
Carrie: Oh...
Carrie: Take your hat off.
[Bandit looks stunned]
Carrie: If you want to...
Bandit: I want to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think we're the only redditors who have seen that movie. But the real question is, did you see the abomination that is the second one?
UselessGadget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol... Unfortunately, yes, I did.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, you're a stronger (wo)man than I. I could only get through the first thirty minutes.
TrappedAtReception ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:44:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non verbal cues are a big part of socialization and communication, and I'm not saying it leaves me completely socially blind, I'm just pointing out there are actual reasons why it's polite to remove one's cap indoors. I'm not telling you not to wear it, I'm just saying it's kind of rude. I don't believe I've ever told anyone to remove their hat, ever.
I_Like_Quiet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:18:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet one more reason TO keep my hat on.
TreChomes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't doing that make you go bald?
Drinkcoffeeplaygames ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:57:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know, don't really care. If I go bald so be it. Probably though, I mean what with constant fabric contact.
NickRick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no thats an old wives tale to stop people from wearing hats all the time (like indoors)
TreChomes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:14:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believed it lol. Especially when the bald spot perfectly shapes a hat
this_is_poorly_done ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Testosterone binding to the follicles makes you go bald. Hence why it's mostly men that get baldness
dustlesswalnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it does who cares? He's wearing a hat.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They still look really cool though.
staynchik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher at my community college demand that I take off my beanie in her class because she prefers 'traditional' rules of the classroom. I told her that, traditionally, women were only allowed to teach grade school for next to nothing.
Bennyboy1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or just wearing hats at work, I have some classy fuckin hats and you can't tell me they aren't work appropriate.
GhostPantsMcGee ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:35:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh. Okay Ben, but at least take the beer cans out while you're teaching class.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:28:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hats are fine.
Not sunglasses though.
SlackJawCretin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:50:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they are prescription and I don't have my regulars!
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just explain you are sensitive to light due to medication or something. I do, it works (actually, my eyes ARE really sensitive to light due to a genetic trait, so it's a valid excuse here. I can't even be outside without sunglasses, it's actually painfully bright to me. Sometimes it's too brightly lit indoors too, so I keep the glasses on, but I try to stick with something low-key like clip ons instead of the ridiculous oversize plastic sunglasses.
SilverLoonie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:52:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sunglasses too! Seriously the fuck do you care? I have prescription sunglasses, I'm not changing to glasses every time I want to walk inside.
TheRachaelFish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people wear sunglasses inside. How am I supposed to talk to you properly when I can't even see your eyes? At least if we're outside there's a reason to wear sunglasses.
SilverLoonie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah if you wear sunglasses constantly, I'm referring to when I walk to my locker from my car or when I run into the store
absump ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 23:10:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does that even mean? Apparently, they do care.
castikat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What (the fuck) do you care" is a phrase which here means "Why do you care?", used rhetorically.
absump ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:30:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to have been used that way here, but isn't it a claim (that someone does not care) rather than a question about why someone cares? Examples: "It's raining, but what do I care? I'm off to the beach anyway." "You can go to the police and tell them that someone was wearing a blue shirt, but what do they care? It's not illegal to wear a blue shirt."
castikat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, "why would I/you/they care?", "what difference does it make?", "I/you/they don't care." It all works.
TheKrakenCometh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First day on the internet?
gapball ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its just the context.
Alphacrap ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:48:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arriving to work in the morning without saying "hello" to everyone I see.
Eggyhead ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 18:26:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids using swear words. When people get upset, in many languages we accentuate that frustration by adding extra vocabulary or sounds our sentences. In English, we can kind of "save face" by using "tamer" substitutes (darn for damn, etc), then it's safe to assume nobody is really that offended. What I find silly is that the context that resulted in the outburst and the feelings behind it doesn't change, and yet we're more offended by a choice of words than the behavior itself. When I have kids, I feel the only reason I would teach them not to use swear words is just to keep them out of trouble from other kids' parents and school.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:36:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also i find kids who are allowed to swear do so less often then those who are not allowed to and do so to "look cool".
Eggyhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good point. Acceptance can be effectively disarming sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect example is the french and alcohol. French teenagers aren't out getting blasted as often because they've had easy access to alcohol since they were kids and learned to drink responsibly. Plus a lot of the allure of it being "taboo" is gone.
Zombiecidialfreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad didn't mind me swearing much in the house and it ended up with me getting past my "swearing because it makes me sound cool" phase much sooner. I was able to properly use them long before anyone else and now all my peers sound like dumbasses that swear uncontrollably...
Viiri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my main language swearing can also be used when you need a bit to think about what you're going to say in place of uhh or the likes. It's common with teens and a bit older people. Fucking speech can fucking sound like fuck this, but it sounds a bit better since there's an universal word that can be used in all sentences in all places, even as a verb. Vittu is the word.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:34 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://peevishpenman.blogspot.com/2010/09/nine-parts-of-speech-and-f-word.html?m=1
Viiri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, that's a thing. Well, teenage Finns swear multiple times in a sentence so it's a bit more than in English.
Towelbit ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:35:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My son is twelve and I don't care if he swears around me. He doesn't do it often and as long as it is just us I don't mind. Kind of hard to punish the kid after hearing me mother fuck the shit out of something I'm working on around the house.
Eggyhead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I intend to apply the same rule to my household when the time comes.
Chouzetsu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the insight. I'm not trying to be a sarcastic asshole, I've never thought of it that way before.
Eggyhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol! I wouldn't have made the assumption that you were trying to be a sarcastic asshole unless you had made it absolutely clear to me, I'm kind of stubborn that way!
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents always swore in Italian. Makes it a lot easier when you can swear in a different language and no one will know. As a result, I don't think I ever really felt the urge to swear in public once I got it out of my system the first week or so. Even if I did though, chances are most kids/parents wouldn't know what I was saying anyway.
Eggyhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! My apathy towards swearing stems from teaching kids how to speak English, and teaching them not to swear in English speaking countries. They throw around bad words in English as a joke, in front of peers, teachers, adults... because they've heard it in the media, but they can't comprehend the gravity of it because swearing in their own language is ambiguous and the word literally has no other use than an exclamation of frustration. It just makes me wonder, what is it about those words specifically that we find so offensive versus the actual anger/hate/frustration that they represent? It's like we assign all those feelings to the word and punish the kid for saying the word. But in doing so, aren't we just telling them that we care more about what comes out of their mouths than how they are feeling or what inspired them to say it in the first place? It just seems like misplaced judgment to me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this. Funny how we teach kids how they shouldnt swear yet they grow up to swear anyway. I dont understand the big deal
Hayasaka-chan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:10:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents called them "adult" words instead of swear or bad words. That way my parents could swear like sailors if they wanted to and I couldn't argue about it. Adults can say them because they know when and where to use them. Kids can't because they don't know the rules yet. I was able to say damn at home by 13. By 15 my only rules were, "don't say them at school or in front of Grandma." It's not hard.
Chaos_Philosopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I cultivate a lack of fear of words. I find those that hold on dearly to fear over certain words inscrutable. Can't even scrute them.
I'd teach any theoretical future children of mine the full use of our English language.
alamaias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, but if we didn't keep them taboo, they wouldn't give any release of frustration when we needed them. I tell kids not to waste the swearing on minor things :)
SoundOfDrums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids should be learning more vocabulary, and swear words are OK to be part of it. If swear words are all their adjectives and adverbs, I see that as a problem.
endospire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think we idolise the innocence of childhood and we consider swearing to be anything but innocent. When a child says some kind of swear word, we feel it as a corruption of innocence. I always feel sad when I hear a young kid swear because I think they should have some years without it.
That said, I work in a school and I'm well aware of the filth that teenagers spew on a daily basis so I'm not under any illusions. I also agree with /u/Towelbit that acting hypocritically is bad which is why I applaud my friends who are new parents for effectively cutting it out of their home and asking their friends not to swear around the kid.
BRETTVARG ยท 210 points ยท Posted at 16:08:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dueling. We need to bring it back.
Stampeder ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 23:19:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's time to settle this like adults... with a children's card game.
Show-Me-Your-Moves ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:22:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S TIME!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's always time
Optionions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:05 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasitgoodforyoutoo ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 23:36:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Washington State has a "mutual combat law" where disputes between two parties can be resolved by a fair fight. Police are not allowed to intervene in these fights. So long as the fight is consensual and not in a public space where bystanders can be hurt it has legal precedence.
And that is why WA is the best fucking state in the country.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:57:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to contact a representative of Louisiana to try and get something like this passed here. That's freaking awesome.
Superfluous_Toast ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:06:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?! Excuse me, I need to call out my roommate...
TinManOz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, really?
FUCK YEAH.
sockgorilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds amazing.
Requi3m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
actually that's just seattle not the whole state.
Aethelric ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a reason why dueling was banned. There are innumerable situations into which someone can be effectively forced into a "consensual" duel, and it ultimately creates a more dangerous society.
095179005 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We've gone meta
Zaxim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...is this Matt?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to contact a representative of Louisiana to try and get something like this passed here. That's freaking awesome.
superradish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
downvote him here so the karma balances out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, why am I being downvoted?
Hold on, why does it say there are two comments? One is at -1 and the other is at 6
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:41:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wait, I see, the reddit gremlins made me post the same comment twice. I'm not sure why that happened, but yeah, I didn't do that for karma. Not everything is about karma, bub.
omegakill ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I second this!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:27:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You called my mother a big fanny! I must defend her honor sir, engarde!
omegakill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait! I need to take off my glove and slap it on your face....twice! Then we duel!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elder berries! What do you think of that ?
BodePlotHole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honk if you demand satisfaction.
FrenchLama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
soufflet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Spamman4587 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Times have sadly changed, but there's hope! there's always /r/DuelingCorner
Spamman4587 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can always go to /r/DuelingCorner !!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BRETTVARG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well let's go. Ten paces. We turn and have someone yell go. Winner is the one who isn't dead
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd buy it. No guns, no stabbing, and only to the blood, not to the death.
TNAEnigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's time to du-du-du-du-du-dueeel?
SilverbackRibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about a snipe-off. Or just a straight up man hunt. That would rule
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's time to D-D-D-D!
D-D-D-D-DUEL!
(omly 90s kids wil get thet refrence. like and share if u cri erytim)
Ventus- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You activated my trap card!
BRETTVARG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was it kunai with chain? Because that would be predictable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe mutual combat is still a thing in some parts of America.
bluejayfan32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you FOOL
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently only Washington (the state) and Seattle (the city). Not very widespread, but it's something. I kind of want to make this a thing in my state though. It just seems like something cool to have.
thered28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, i've seen a video where like a black jacky chan whipped some drunk guy's ass with a cop standing right there
drunken_monkeys ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 01:31:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin sums up my feelings on prostitution pretty well:
"I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? I can't follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people! In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm! Maybe I'm not supposed to understand it..."
undead_tortoise ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:40:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a big one. If the industry was legalized it could be taxed and regulated. The workers and the customers would be much more safe and have a chance at a fair cut/price. If you think it is immoral don't buy it, just like any other vice. Pretending it doesn't happen doesn't help anyone.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. People who are against it are all about the abuses and bad things that happen, which do happen, but imagine if sex work was regulated. There would be labor laws in place to help those in distress, much like there are laws protecting basically any other type of worker from being abused and harmed in the workplace.
But, you know, sex, so it can't happen.
I find it funny that people against legalization of sex work usually have religious ideas about sex even without being religious. There's a whole lot of stigma about it, and I think it's time for us to be over it.[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a Russell Peters joke:
Indians are the most hypocritical people in the world. Nobody ever wants to talk about sex, but we have the second largest population. SOMEBODY'S FUCKING!"
berthejew ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:02:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just set up a camera, then it's porn!
Prometheus720 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure American Dad did a short skit about this once.
berthejew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Family Guy, but pretty much the same thing.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, good ol' George.
He was something else!
Right up there with my faves, like Bill Hicks.
I have no idea why more people don't follow such trains of thought. The world would be such a better place if they did!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:09:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's legal here in Australia. There are something like 11 brothels in my city.
Halleys_Vomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying I agree with this argument, but the reason it's illegal isn't just because selling sex per se is bad (although that is part of it for sure). It's also that a lot of the stuff that comes with it is bad, human trafficking being the most well-known example. Of course, some people argue that the best way to do away with these related issues is just to legalize prostitution and then regulate it, but it's complicated.
CatFancier4393 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it had something to do with prostitutes being easy targets for murder. Less about morality and more about Jack the Ripper.
DownWithTheShip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sex trafficking
ceetc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:06:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine it would be harder to essentially kidnap women from poor countries and force them into brothels in the United States if said brothels actually had government oversight.
PrimesteFericera ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say it's not even about being overseen so much as providing sex workers with legal avenues to assistance. If they're being hurt, or see a shady business practice going on next door, they can't say anything or else THEY get in trouble.
Sadly I don't think sex trafficking will end for a long time, just because there's so much money and motivation involved, but taking the sex industry out of the dark would help immensely.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 4088 points ยท Posted at 14:01:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Being a giant slut.
Edit: I'm a dude and in a committed relationship so stop PM'ing me for sex. I wasn't referring to women in particular. Both sexes can be sluts.
All_Knowing_Wizard ยท 4899 points ยท Posted at 14:26:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with this too. Giants deserve to have sex lives as well. It's not all bubblegum and lollipops on top the bean stalk.
[deleted] ยท 1923 points ยท Posted at 15:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HODOR
FtG_AiR ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 16:44:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HOEDOR
MissplacedLandmine ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:33:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HANDICAPSEXLIVESMATTER
probablyhrenrai ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:34:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHOREDOR
showyerbewbs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HODOR IN HER HOE-DOOR
_BindersFullOfWomen_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHOREDOR
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:52:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:27:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Van der Sloot?
mandrous ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is 300% more clever than the comment above.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:17:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WUN WUN
SoftTeddyBear13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor is a bitch
imoses44 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine Hodor getting laid.
Jack_BE ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:09:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor...
Hodor...
Hodor Hodor
Hodor Hodor Hodor
Hodoor..
HODOOOOOOR
Hodor
Juggernog ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:59:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whipping out the Hodong.
Hodor_The_Half-Wit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HODOR. ;)
SpazzyBaby ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:02:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he does.
pholyuhm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:15:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor is a bitch
tears_of_dogfood ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:41:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love PKA
pholyuhm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as do i
BleedingKing11493 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor's a fucking bitch! any fucknards out there?
sluuuurp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor?
divisibleby5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they cut the part where bran warged into hodor to get some pussy and the part where he warged into his wolf to get some wolf pussy. #GOTfacts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha! That reminded me of a Nick Swardson bit... He said he wants to complain to a waiter that his food tastes like wolf pussy just so the waiter will go "Oh My God, what?! Wolf.. I'm so sorry, let me get that. How do you even... Never mind, just let me get that I am so sorry!"
Hodor_The_Half-Wit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HOOOOODOOOORRRR
Truckusmode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More like " Hoe-dor"
Heinzliketchup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*WHOREDOR
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have an Android phone, go to google now, say "Ok Google", then say "Hodor".
imtheswagmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok Google!
IWasBilbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor
LegitNameUser ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:11:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MY GIANT, MY GIANT, MY GIANT
ghosttrainhobo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor.
jrtdot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*HOEDOR
HODOR00 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:21:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
.....?
ChronoAndMarle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:22:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone should post that erotic story about Hodor and Groot having sex for the first time that popped up on /r/enoughinternet a while ago
SirDickslap ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:13:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea we all saw his dick.
Captain_Concussion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:56:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now all I can think about is Hodor and Wun Wun having passionate giant sex
dick-nipples ยท 454 points ยท Posted at 15:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giants do deserve to have sex. Except for Eli Manning, he's a total loser.
APPLEZACKS ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:39:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh but that Odell kid, oh my... I'd love to have him inside me
zdawg5465 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:28:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the pats fan.
thatdude52 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eli looks like a guy that throws a football on the beach with his kid, not a guy that throws a football for an NFL team
Sashay_on_outta_here ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a mouth breather
Connor4Wilson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:33:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Manningface.jpeg
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:08:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa whoa whoa.
Go Giants.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:38:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me translate that for Giants fans -
He's got more rings than Romo.
kfd_capital ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Two rings baby
BrettG10 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giant fan here, can confirm.
AK_Happy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:57:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
GREAT THANKS FOR CONFIRMING
BrettG10 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:17:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
hybriddeadman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:02:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A loser with two more rings than you.
Five0Two ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just had this conversation with a 10-year-old Bengals fan:
erishun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He may be a loser... BUT HE'S OUR LOSER GODDAMNIT!!!
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Lincecum, too.
Deformedchrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a window licker
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna get JPP to finger your dick nipples with the finger he lost
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the better Manning brother?
Wrathwilde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eli and Tannehill won me the championship in my 2QB money league.
zachm26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, /r/nfl is leaking over again.
CaptainSnacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2 RINGS, BABY
TheDopple ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Besides, who knows who that slut Sheli would try to make a move on.
Sincerely,
A Chargers fan.
meme-com-poop ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 16:27:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' Reddit giant slut-a-roo
SenorAnonymous ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 16:48:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my virginity, I'm going in!
brbroome ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:32:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ew, I'm not touching that. It's sticky.
Fowl_Eye ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:17:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I have my own to hold on to.
GrayTiger44 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see you know where it is. Haven't lost it at all.
devtastic2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITEMS ACQUIRED:
-/u/HalfSquatch's testicles
-/u/PM_ME_YOUR_CHESTHAMS' glass-stabbed dick
-/u/Betaman156's AK
-/u/RSkiz's STDs
-/u/SenorAnonymous's virginity
3kindsofsalt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted because Tim Melia is a beast
scdiputs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:26 on July 24, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Back here again?!? Well....
Hold my lube, I'm going in!
SigurdZS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:02 on July 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my looping reddit post, I'm going in!
nliausacmmv ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:53:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Ahh, the old Reddit Slutaroo
RSkiz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:18:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my STDs, I'm going in!
devtastic2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:22:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITEMS ACQUIRED:
-/u/HalfSquatch's testicles
-/u/PM_ME_YOUR_CHESTHAMS' glass-stabbed dick
-/u/Betaman156's AK
-/u/RSkiz's STDs
Predatormagnet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:30 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It died
nliausacmmv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:50 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disendeaded.
Dennyboy101 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:14:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We want SNOOSNOO
steezmonster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is this not an ol sexerdoo
Glarbluk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like their should be a giantroo here
austinsystem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me want snew snew !
XxsquirrelxX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly we should listen to the all-knowing wizard. He does know all, after all.
CalculusIsEZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha made me laugh more than I should have.
AvatarWaang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' Giant Switcheroo
aedansblade36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I taste like bubblegum. Now how about you suck on my lollipop and then jump on my beanstalk?
findmypenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laughed harder than I should at this. Have an up vote.
MikeyThePikey999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me want snoo snoo!
Vamking12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teehee
Darklordstormaggedon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The spirit is strong but the flesh is spongy and weak!
acidrainfall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Death by SNUSNU
I_want_hard_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ME WANT SNOO SNOO
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Death by snu snu
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now there's a big man (penis flopping)
King_of_the_Hobos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's already sticky enough on top of the bean stalk, never mind bubblegum and lollipops
NotRoryWilliams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/giantess
pedrodevoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' reddit s... Wait, I won't get trapped this time
ws1173 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old Reddit sex-eroo
Zeik75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the old reddit switch-a-roo
GhostJohnGalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they just need a little snoo-snoo
sitruc1112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+4000 upvotes and this didn't get a reddit switcharoo? Weird...
Salinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' Reddit sluteroo.
I'm too lazy to link it.
Iamadinocopter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Snu snu?
disconaldo ยท 1063 points ยท Posted at 14:30:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sup?
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 618 points ยท Posted at 14:37:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:33:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...shit, now what...?
Deadbreeze ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just fuck?
joelrizner ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:58:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yo
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 16:20:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey yo
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 20:12:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I nume you havber?
Edit: Fuck!
concussedYmir ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:59:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fucking Christ you can't just go up and ask someone that you pervert
Nitrosium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually wrote that down. That's pretty good.
GoodVoatCoUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, you just made me choke
JustAnotherPanda ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:10:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whatcha gon do?
islamicporkchop ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:08:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lift up your head and keep moving. Or let the paranoia haunt you
Hugo154 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:58:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he was referencing Kendrick Lamar. I think he was referencing Space Jam.
theswiftslug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go ahead and walk these dogs and represent Wu.
TrevorSlattery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
COMEONANDSLAM
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buh duh duh buh duh duh something something
macrocephale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do do do do
Hey yooooooooo
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hello!
TheSandyRavage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Salutations
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank-you
freestyling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how are you doin?
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm great. you? I'm a dude and fat.
DWillows ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well, that's fi-
oh :(
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aww. I'm not that fat. I'm ... Husky!
dontcallmefatm8 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hai dere friends ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
moonmoon0100 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:03:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's me ur brother
paulhockey5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yuri, u broke your arms again?
Ultimate_Cabooser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no it's not
RettyD4 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:33:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A/S/L?
KillerGoats ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:51:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
900/m/north pole
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:13:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:O Santa?
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
?
SlackJawCretin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:40:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well we at least know the first was is "Too young"
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 36
SlackJawCretin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:02:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case...
Hey
MaximilianKohler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
asl = age sex location
such as 36 f tx
SmackyRichardson ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:08:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now fuck.
YourCummyBear ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:19:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you come here often? Because I'm gonna be coming here in a minute looking at you.
Thepluralofmoose ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wat r u up 2?
StalkerCelly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:18:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SHE RESPONED
hellschatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she's a he?
StalkerCelly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone on the Internet's a girl.
willclerkforfood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Close. Everyone on the internet is a fifty year old trucker pretending to be a girl.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
Light_of_Avalon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:19:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?"
Finger_LickingGood ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:46:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eyy bby u wot sum fuk?
Richmard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Young luv โบ๏ธ
SCR0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Said a man.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Said a...?
strppngynglad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insert hot dogs thrown at face gif here
Caboose_Juice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smooth
degistered_remocrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
U wan sum mutton?
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ummmm... Actually. Yes.
degistered_remocrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want that big girthy mutton in your mouth?
Taekwondoman041 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith
Jay_Dee63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How you doin'?
jaking2017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now fuck
snoogins355 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now kiss...
PM_ME_IM_DESPERATE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're like, the 10th person to say that
paulhockey5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter, now kith
PM_ME_IM_DESPERATE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent, what'd I win?
idontpostonreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely going places.
EternalAssasin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You two bangin' now?
IamMcSqueeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sexual tension is killing me
edingtl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith.
PeckyMegan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nudz pls
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dude. An out of shape dude.
PeckyMegan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:27:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yuck, go away
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 15:39:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:16:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, stop.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmmmmmmmm'lady.
alpha_kenny_buddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wassup wassup
[deleted] ยท 249 points ยท Posted at 15:08:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi my name is ImCuden, m/30, I'm a recovering giant slut, 12 years this year.
[deleted] ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 15:25:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you regret getting married at 18?
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:31:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're not married but as far as the state is concerned we are considered and have the benefits of a married couple by law, don't even know how to call it in English, as far as regret goes, there isn't any.
SkyWest1218 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:53:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's called a domestic partnership...I think? I'm probably wrong.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:02:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The direct translation would be out of marriage community, you need to registered on the same address for 2 years for it to apply.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:03:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Common Law marriage in English jurisprudence, though the actual use of it has fallen out of practice.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Common law marriage
NurseAmy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:24:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd call it a common law marriage. Basically, you two have lived together, mixed assets, and call each other spouses. Every place has different rules that dictate what constitutes a common law marriage, but where I live, that is what is required to be called married without actually getting married.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:42:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's a Common Law marriage.
shamelessnameless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called 'not giving a fuck' in English.
Oh are you not married?
We're actually not giving a fuck
titlejunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Common law marriage
daBroviest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heyo!
Takeiitaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giants have no ragrets.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rekt
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How tall are you?
Haha, get it..?
No..?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
G-Giant..?
Sorry....
TheKandyCinema ยท 767 points ยท Posted at 14:14:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any problem with a girl loving sex with multiple partners.
A guy wouldn't mind being with 2 girls so why can't a girl be with 2 guys?
TheGays ยท 232 points ยท Posted at 16:11:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gross, I would hate being with two girls ๐
tittysprinkle9000 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 20:29:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at the same time I'd go to dinner with my parents.
the_person ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that's illegal
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not where I'm from ;)
Veggiemon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:39:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
butterbal1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to get them to play with each other and you are just there for some extra "flava".
blaqsupaman ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 19:11:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username.
TheKandyCinema ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah shit, I normally put 2 of the preferred gender. Sorry bout that.
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 17:19:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does "slut" imply girls only? Guys sleep around too.
euno ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:43:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Urbandictionary's definition for 'slut' is : "a woman with the morals of a man"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's kind of funny
twfu ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:46:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Manwhore?
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That works too but ''slut'' is gender-neutral, works for everybody.
twfu ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:10:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May work for everybody, but usually refers to women. Similar to bitch.
Stoic_stone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but bitch tends to have a different meaning when applied to a female vs a male.
felixfelix ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 20:58:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly the problem. Woman sleeps around = whore, man sleeps around = high fives. Why do we diminish her accomplishment?
bustedcougar ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 21:55:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's not an accomplishment. It takes work to be a manwhore. You have to be really confident, funny, and dominant to successfully get a lot of girls.
All a girl has to do is show a modicum of interest and she can get sex.
felixfelix ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:06:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to make a joke. Women who get sex are a lot more likely to be slutshamed and called, "whore" than a man who gets the same action.
There was a recent news story about people being caught in a threesome in public. The woman was named and shamed, but the men were not. Lots of people on social media knew who the guys were, but they were too busy giving high fives to doxx them. But they were all participating in the same sex act.
I am encouraged by your use of the word "manwhore" however.
LeeSeneses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude what? That's nuts! THIS IS ALSO MAKING IT HARDER FOR MY DREAM OF A F/M/F SETUP TO COME TRUE!
bustedcougar ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 22:31:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know the social sciences behind that behavior to completely understand it. But it is the way things are.
I like the word "manwhore" lol
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of things are a certain way and really shouldn't be.
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:53:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
EatSomeVapor ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 00:24:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to have to disagree with this. You don't have to be that young, slim, or even that attractive to get laid.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:35:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
read_it_r ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:26:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree actually a 40y/o "5" woman can go to a bar on a saturday night and 100% she can leave with someone if she wants.
The same cannot be said for a man.
joephus420 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:40:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it can...
read_it_r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, for a man im pretty sure its like a "7" before you are guaranteed to leave with anything...and even then sometimes you wake up next to swamp creatures
joephus420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much the point people are making here. Unless you are just completely hideous, its pretty easy to go out and get laid if you don't have any standards. I'm a average looking middle aged dude that could stand to lose about 25 pounds, but I can pretty much go out and hit the bars around closing time and get laid any time I want. But I don't because 1 - standards and 2 -I'm not a whore.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:46:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Moozilbee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't really say half of people are below a 5. If 5 is average looking, then most people are going to be around a 5.
compulsiveasshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you understand statistics.
if 5 is average, 1-4 is below average and 6-10 is above.
Moozilbee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Daily dose of condescension
Yes, that's how averages work. That doesn't mean 50% of people are below average.
People get rated 1-10 based on how good looking they are, and 5 is average looking, but that doesn't mean 50% of people are under 5.
In any given set of data, 50% of the data isn't going to be below the average most of the time. If the average wage is 10k for 10 people, 1 of those people might earn massively below 10k whilst the other 9 earn slightly above, yet it will still average out to 10k.
compulsiveasshole ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:12:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ya im dumb I should go to college.
cgi_bin_laden ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:03:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely disagree. I'm not sure why this myth still persists, but it's certainly not reality.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TheColorOfStupid ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody said "any man she wants".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:15:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what he said, though. I said that it's not true that fat/old/unattractive women can get any man they want just by showing up, and he said that that was a myth. His words.
miked4o7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:25:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are lots of delusional people around these parts
everydamnmonth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's being a teenager right now.
TheColorOfStupid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously not literally any woman, but yes, the vast majority of women under 40 could.
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No but if they post a craigslist ad they can.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men can as well. My ex-boyfriend's best friend who is overweight, unattractive, and has a god awful personality hooked up with over 20 women from Craigslist.
Potatoe_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, the only way men hook up with women on Craigslist is by paying for it, unless it's really obscure fetish related.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm not saying the pickings are going to be good. He got chlamydia from one. It can definitely be done, but the girls are most likely not going to be attractive and there's going to be risks.
cgi_bin_laden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Not just young, thin, attractive women. Most women.
TheColorOfStupid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:42:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No he doesn't.
amdnivram ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no just young if any of those even mattered , the rest is just your insecurity showing
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:08:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're saying a woman who looks like this or this could just walk into a bar and get any man they wanted?
TheColorOfStupid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:43:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously not. But an average looking woman could get a man. Maybe not any man, but a decent man pretty easily.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what he said, though. He said you only have to be young to get a man, and being fat or ugly doesn't matter.
amdnivram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
when did I say any? No her odds would be lower but she would still get takers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is that an accurate representation of the average woman?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Once again, that's not what he said. He said that young women can get laid just by showing up, and the rest (fat/ugly) doesn't matter.
kmutch ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:36:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not any one they wanted but they can most likely find someone. If you're ever at a bar at closing time watch people do this mad dash where they have to find someone. It's hilarious.
MrCool94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:09:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont need to be thin or attractive
SanctumXVI ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, we mean women. Because that's all it takes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So old, unattractive, overweight women can get any man they want?
SanctumXVI ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:42:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure as hell can pick up more men than an old, unattractive, overweight man could pick up women!
Invalid_Pizza ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:14:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only reason we have that option is because of men though, so blaming us for it is still pretty retarded. If you deal a woman one card, and that's the only card she has to play, don't get mad that she plays it. You gave it to her!
bustedcougar ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 22:27:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. You went right to blaming men. Is that an automatic response for you?
I didn't say whether I thought of it as good or bad. I just explained how it's not an accomplishment for women, where as for men, it is.
Invalid_Pizza ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:36:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sounds like you have a bad view of it, the way you put it. But hey, if you don't, that's awesome. There are a lot of men who think that legitimately though, especially the type who sleep around with lots of women, which is why I find it so ironic. I mean if guys want sex without commitment, a slut is just giving them what they want. But hey, it's envy. There really isn't a logical way to look at it. It's just jealousy. But still I think it's fair to point out that women can only do this because it's what men prioritize. I'm not hating on men, I'm hating on men who have contradictory standards.
Sineaduhh ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't make what either of you said less true guys?
Cheeseologist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:57:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true, I'd hope. I'd like to think that guys aren't stupid, sex-starved meatsacks.
LeeSeneses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really a given, though. I mean, right now. Yeah. But it's, in my view, a cultural artifact. Maybe even driven by stigmatization of sex that affects one gender more. I think the more liberal with sex we get in general, the less thirsty dudes will be and the more even the 'accomplishment' becomes.
XDSHENANNIGANZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See I was gonna disagree with you until I actually read what you wrote, and it turned out to be exactly right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but that doesn't make it bad for women to have lots of sex
and_eazy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:30:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also true: A man has a right to be turned off by a woman who sleeps around.
psymunn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:44:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As does a woman about a man. It just gets rediculous when people want to sleep with a lot of women but aren't mature enough to deal with the fact that those women could want the same. Every man isn't going to get 72 virgins. The math just doesn't work
SpaceFace5000 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A key that opens many doors is a great key but a lock that's opened by many keys is a crappy lock
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A cage that holds any beast is a marvel of engineering. A beast that can be held by any cage is a pathetic little bunny.
Buddha_Clause ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
man sleeping around =/= high fives from me as a man. I've seen that it usually takes a lot of emotional manipulation and insincerity to be a man slut. I don't value that bullshit in anyone.
sloppy_wet_one ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I agree with you, let's be fair. It's a heck of a lot easier for a girl to get laid if that's what she's looking for, then it is for a guy.
Still though, it's their body, they can do with it what they want.
If girls wanted me as much as the average dude wants the average girl, I'd be the slutiest little whore you've ever seen!
miked4o7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's kind of a self-fulfilling thing. Girls have it taught and reinforced their whole lives that being promiscuous is shameful... so of course there are less women that are promiscuous.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:15:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, when we do decide to be promiscuous, the risks are higher and the rewards less likely. If there's an accidental pregnancy, we have to deal with the abortion or pregnancy. But our chances of having an orgasm with a new partner are around 13%, whereas a man's are closer to 80%.
miked4o7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that last part an estimation, or is there some source that's from? (not being a stickler, just genuinely interested in reading about that, haha)
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:00:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I originally read it in What Do Women Want?, but this article says it's only an 11% chance. I think that's within the margin of error. I can't find any corroborating studies online for men, but this article states that most men orgasm 100% of the time regardless of the circumstances of the sexual interaction, so while that's not the same information, it's something to consider.
And if you're interested in the topic, I highly recommend What Do Women Want? by Daniel Bergner. It's full of really interesting studies of female sexuality, and it's written in a very accessible tone.
miked4o7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I'll put that one on my list.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because there are plenty of fat ugly sluts, but its pretty rare to find fat ugly studs.
LeeSeneses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I respect your comment in a serious context. But, also; I want to run around, proclaiming my conquests in conversation, then when someone reacts negatively just yell; "STOP DIMINISHING MY ACCOMPLISHMENT!"
felixfelix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm yes it works in practically every context: bowling alley, Chuk E Cheese's, etc.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
robot_pillow ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:46:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
A pencil sharpener that can sharpen a lot of pencils is a good sharpener. A pencil that has been sharpened a lot of times is a useless tiny nub.
A random saying doesn't really prove anything.
Known_ ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 21:45:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not an accomplishment for a woman. You can pretend evolution doesn't exist and downvote me to shit, I really don't care. It was never a good thing for a woman to have children with any man she found, it was always a good thing for a man to do the same. It's basic evolution and people's mindset around it will never change.
felixfelix ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:55:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One thing that has changed: contraception. Nowadays women don't have to get pregnant every time they have sex. But maybe your school had abstinence-only curriculum.
Gahtz2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes no difference for slut shaming, primarily because that ingrained biology extends to our behavior and perception towards women.
felixfelix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your attitudes and perceptions towards women's behaviour come from biology? I can see that biology would dictate certain things like fear of heights, but not an abstract concept like slut shaming.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This evo psych bullshit is pretty soundly discredited. It looks at the sexual policies of the 1950s and tries to find an evolutionary reason for things to be that way, which is bad science.
Newer, better theories which look at physiological evidence and the behavior of other primates actually suggests that humans, especially women, are set up to be very promiscuous when we want to reproduce. You're right that our pregnancies are dangerous. In fact, they're more dangerous than any other primate. But one partner is going to give you just as dangerous a pregnancy as 20 will. The important thing is to make each pregnancy "count". There's an inverse correlation between partner count and infanticide among primates. Our males are more likely to kill a baby that is definitely not theirs than one that might be.
Then there's our genitals. Male genitals are mushroom shaped, perfect for scooping out the semen of other males, and some spermatozoa are specialized for killing the sperm of other males. Vaginas are acidic enough to kill unhealthy sperm, and the acidity levels change throughout the menstrual cycle to favor semen carrying different chromosomes, which shows that the "entryway" is capable of being selective on some level. Then there's the chemical "interview" that a fertilized egg has to succeed at before it can become implanted in the uterine lining.
It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there.
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank fuck for people with brains. Leave this thread and never come back. I feel like people who actually understand this don't waste their time commenting.
Known_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It's basic evolution and people's mindset around it will never change." Can you even fucking read? It's SOLELY ABOUT MINDSET.
felixfelix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:23:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should use more words. Your message is not clear to me here. Asking if I can fucking read does not contribute to this discussion. By the same token I should ask if you can even fucking state your position.
Yes, my comments are regarding the mindset of people. I was objecting to the mindset that says that it's "better" for a woman to be monogomous and "better" for a man to have sex with as many partners as possible. You said that evolution says these things are better for the overall reproductive success of the species. So I said this is not relevant in current time because sex and reproduction can be separated through the use of contraception.
At this point you said that I had missed your point, and emphasized your last sentence, adding "it's SOLELY ABOUT MINDSET". What does that mean? Do you mean other people will never change their opinion because it's ingrained from millenia of evolution? You don't seem to distinguish between other people and yourself, so this seems to be your opinion too. But I don't see why you need to emphasize "it's SOLELY ABOUT MINDSET."
People's opinions do change. Evolution would say that the biggest and toughest person gets to rule through force. But most places have some system of laws now. If I'm missing your point, please clarify. I really did read all the words you wrote.
Known_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you mean other people will never change their opinion because it's ingrained from millenia of evolution? " Yes that's exactly what I mean. "Evolution would say that the biggest and toughest person gets to rule through force." I think you misunderstand why I brought up evolution. If anything, evolution right now shows that this is not the case. I'm glad the phrase is "survival of the fittest" because it will always hold through in any context. I was saying that it is heavily ingrained in people that a woman sleeping around wrong because of evolution and that I don't think it will change for quite a while. Certainly not by typing "why can't women do it!" on a reddit thread, for example. I don't think I have to explain why it was bad for a woman to sleep with any man she could find from an evolution stand point.
adamrgisom ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:13:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why so angry? You think everyone's against you? Just a few comments above people are saying, you know it's easier for women to have more sex versus guys. So don't think that all of Reddit is against you. Thus, you have not even a plausible excuse for responding the way you are. It's not civil. Are you trying to change minds?
And if you're not..... what are you doing? Are you so insecure in your belief that you have to loudly affirm it to convince yourself you're right?
Known_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not angry at all, you seem to judge a lot from me holding shift and typing. Judging by the fact that I didn't see a single comment in the entire thread and that my comment is -7 I haven't seen more than one person agree with me here. I type in caps only vs people who have trouble reading as it particularly annoys me.
adamrgisom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say a lot as if it's not conventional to type in all caps to convey serious emphasis akin/analogous to yelling. You're right that no one is upvoting you. Because you're not civil, and extremely dismissive. The kind of guy everyone would want to punch in the face in real life. You talked to me like that, I sure would want to.
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The kind of guy who talks about violence over the internet? Of course I don't talk to people that like that IRL but I honestly couldn't care. It suits me as a way of venting with the amount of stupid people one deals with on a daily basis. It's more than likely the amount of time I've spent arguing in youtube comments, shit gives you really bad expectations and habits.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a guy is born attractive into fame and fortune, then it's really easy and not an accomplishment either.
adamrgisom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, there are many factors that go into the equation besides 'are they male or female'? Many.
Nevertheless, while keeping this in mind you can acknowledge differences in averages. You should remember both at once.
Known_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That couldn't be more irrelevant to the point I was making. We're not talking about money, we're talking about basic evolution and why we naturally look down on women sleeping around and why it won't ever change. What percentage of people are born into such wealth that they can buy women? Not enough for it to be relevant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking about the "easy therefor not an accomplishment" point.
A wealthy and handsome man is still not looked down on, even though sex is extremely easy.
The evolutionary reasons no longer justify looking down on a woman, they only justify not being attracted to her due to her sex count.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:46:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This evo psych bullshit is pretty soundly discredited. It looks at the sexual policies of the 1950s and tries to find an evolutionary reason for things to be that way, which is bad science.
Newer, better theories which look at physiological evidence and the behavior of other primates actually suggests that humans, especially women, are set up to be very promiscuous when we want to reproduce. Our pregnancies are dangerous. In fact, they're more dangerous than any other primate. But one partner is going to give you just as dangerous a pregnancy as 20 will. The important thing is to make each pregnancy "count". There's an inverse correlation between partner count and infanticide among primates. Our males are more likely to kill a baby that is definitely not theirs than one that might be.
Then there's our genitals. Male genitals are mushroom shaped, perfect for scooping out the semen of other males, and some spermatozoa are specialized for killing the sperm of other males. Vaginas are acidic enough to kill unhealthy sperm, and the acidity levels change throughout the menstrual cycle to favor semen carrying different chromosomes, which shows that the "entryway" is capable of being selective on some level. Then there's the chemical "interview" that a fertilized egg has to succeed at before it can become implanted in the uterine lining.
It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there.
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've proved to know nothing about evolution. Amazing actually. So incredibly deluded I don't even know where to begin. I won't waste my any more of my time arguing with someone that far gone after this. "It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone" Do you understand evolution at all? You're acting as if it doesn't exist. Newsflash, it does and this isn't the case in nature. You know what that means? You're completely wrong. Evolution is something that can be observed right now if you haven't noticed. How can it "be more likely...acting on an evolutionary basis" if it isn't the case? Evolution actually fucking happened.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:22:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if you actually read anything I wrote. It's all based on evolution happening, just differently than you claim it did. Do you have any claims to refute anything that I've said, or are you just going to call me an idiot and keep repeating the one part of your argument that we both agree on?
Known_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there." You're saying that this should happen because evolution. Yet it doesn't. Are you saying evolution didn't happen? Evolution pretty much decides everything, including this. So by saying "It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there." it has to be wrong. Unless you're saying evolution didn't happen?
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saying evolution did happen, but that it doesn't control us to the extent that you insist it does. Women do have urges to fuck lots of people. Plethysmiograph studies have shown that women have stronger reactions to the thought of sex with a stranger than men do, if they're given a reason to believe that it will result in an orgasm. Women are just less likely to act on those urges. There are a lot of theories and reasons why, but the most likely reason is a combination of socialization and the fact that our opportunities for risks and reward are skewed. A baby isn't a reward now like it was for most of human evolution. Now it's usually a risk. And since we're thinking creatures who make decisions based on more than our gut instincts and the level of moisture in our pants, we treat it as a risk.
the_human_oreo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the key and the lock scenario all over again!
felixfelix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Goldi-locks had to try lots of things to find the ones that were "just right".
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:01:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheGesticulator ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:58:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I deplore that phrase. It's inapplicable because it implies that women's goal is to keep men from having sex with them. Sex is something that two people do together. It's not a game of cat-and-mouse where one person tries to beguile the other into sex while the other tries to keep it from happening.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That guy deleted his comment before I could respond to it, but I put a lot of work into my response, so I'm posting it here:
This evo psych bullshit is pretty soundly discredited. It looks at the sexual policies of the 1950s and tries to find an evolutionary reason for things to be that way, which is bad science.
Newer, better theories which look at physiological evidence and the behavior of other primates actually suggests that humans, especially women, are set up to be very promiscuous when we want to reproduce. You're right that our pregnancies are dangerous. In fact, they're more dangerous than any other primate. But one partner is going to give you just as dangerous a pregnancy as 20 will. The important thing is to make each pregnancy "count". There's an inverse correlation between partner count and infanticide among primates. Our males are more likely to kill a baby that is definitely not theirs than one that might be.
Then there's our genitals. Male genitals are mushroom shaped, perfect for scooping out the semen of other males, and some spermatozoa are specialized for killing the sperm of other males. Vaginas are acidic enough to kill unhealthy sperm, and the acidity levels change throughout the menstrual cycle to favor semen carrying different chromosomes, which shows that the "entryway" is capable of being selective on some level. Then there's the chemical "interview" that a fertilized egg has to succeed at before it can become implanted in the uterine lining.
It would be more likely, if we were acting on an evolutionary basis, it would be much more likely that women would fuck everyone and let their bodies decide from there.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheGesticulator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it has to do with that. If you ask someone why they're against women sleeping around, I don't think they're going to cite the dangers of pregnancy. In either case, you could say that men who have lots of sex are putting a lot of women at risk of death so, if that is the reason, it could go either way.
I really think it just has more to do with archaic cultural and religious beliefs than anything else. My girlfriend's family is staunchly catholic and she isn't allowed to have sex, drink, or act any kind of unladylike whereas her brother can do anything he wants. I mean, a lot of cultures value women being "pure" for marriage.
TheDingos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK but why did the religious dudes make up those rules for women? What was their reasoning?
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Probably similar to the reasons that other religions in different regions believed in the concepts of multiple paternity (encouraging women to sleep with many men so their child will have many fathers to provide for it.) Or cultures which see sex as no big deal encourage engaging in it for fun from a young age, who build their daughters "love huts" to receive visits from potential suitors. Because it made sense at the time.
TheDingos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but I don't buy that for one second. Maybe a very niche group of people existed at one point that practiced multiple paternity but I doubt this was widespread or even a significant minority in any society at any point in time. You will definitely need a source on that, sounds like pure bullshit to be honest.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Up to 70% of Amazonian cultures have practiced multiple paternity.
TheDingos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I stand corrected. Very surprised that such a thing ever existed, as a man not wanting to care for children that aren't his own is the overwhelming norm in just about every civilization that has ever existed.
A direct link on that very page is an article which states that in cultures where extra marital sex was accepted, men would actually take care of their sister's kids because at least they know for sure that their genes are getting passed on.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is true that in most civilizations, men prefer not to take care of children that aren't theirs. However, all primate males are less likely to kill children that might be theirs than children that definitely aren't. It seems like, (although this would be impossible to prove) when civilizations were forming, some took the idea of protecting children by obscuring their paternity and ran with it, while others tried to go in the other direction by encouraging monogamy. I wonder if it had something to do with the rates of infanticide in those areas, maybe connected to the efficacy of the enforcement of any laws that they had against it. If laws against infanticide are well enforced and rates of it occurring are low, a civilization wouldn't need to obscure paternity to protect the children. If the rates were very high, they would need to.
felixfelix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you rather have a thoroughbred off the track or a horse that has never been saddled and might not let you ride at all?
jshrlzwrld02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said in my post... not that I feel that way lol. Not sure why I'm getting downvoted for throwing out a phrase that I've heard before when this subject is mentioned. I don't care if she's slept with 100 guys as long as she's clean and a decent human-being lol.
thenonmermaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:10 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
credit to /u/ricecake from 5 years ago
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:22 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thenonmermaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:20 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No need to keep parroting utter bullshit, either.
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:34:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, slut is pretty general neutral for me.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:09:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah you know. Just generally neutral. As far as words goes.
Hell, don't even know what it means.
starfirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I don't even know what you mean
somewhat_funny ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:08:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cause guys that get around are called "legends"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A key that opens many locks is a master key, a lock opened by many keys is a shitty lock" - Winston Churchill
Blues2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In fact, it's the default setting for guys...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because girls are the ones for whom it is deemed much more socially unacceptable
Cheeseologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because 'slut' is a pejorative, and being promiscuous isn't socially unacceptable for guys.
Fatmanhobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
manwhore is the term you are looking for.
drunz ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it is much easier for a girl to be a slut then a guy. Someone did an experiment where they had a relatively attractive guy randomly ask girls if they would have sex with him. 100 out of 100 said no. Then they did the reverse where they had an attractive female ask out males randomly if they would have sex. Around 70% of them said yes.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh... which implies that men are far more slutty than women if they're all saying yes and women have the dignity to say no.
Regardless, just because you can sex up a lot of people does not a slut make.
Stoic_stone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:54:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay it's not necessarily about dignity.
The point being made is that it's harder for guys to be sluts, exactly because most guys are down to pound at any given moment. Girls tend to be less interested in sex without some kind of commitment. The result of this is that it's generally easier for a girl to find a sexual partner at any given moment than it is for a guy to do the same (assuming we're just talking about heterosexuals, because that's what is most common.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how any of it is relevant though. It's easier for girls to sleep around, therefore, only girls can be sluts? That doesn't make sense. If you are a male or female, and sleep with a large amount of people then you're a slut. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Go slut it up.
thanks4yanksNspanks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:51:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's not that only women can be sluts; both can. But it's only an accomplishment for a man since it's a lot tougher to be a slut than it is for a woman.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's probably a promise of safety and a high likelihood of orgasm that most women are looking for, not commitment. Plethysmiograph studies show that women on average experience more sexual arousal than men at the idea of having sex with a stranger, if and only if she's given reason to believe that it will result in an orgasm.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:28:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, that was hardly an experiment. Those were YouTube videos. And the man kept approaching women and girls in groups, including with their families, whereas the woman only approached like, two groups, and neither seemed to be families. Plus, the woman was better looking than the man. He wasn't bad looking, but he wasn't as attractive as she was.
Second of all, when someone randomly approaches you the way that they did, it's pretty clear that something is up. If it's a prank or something, the guys who said yes had nothing to lose just by saying that. No one is gonna laugh at them for that. The girls, however, would pretty likely be mocked if they'd said yes.
There's some truth (although not as much as people claim) that it's easier for women to find casual sex partners than men, for a lot of complex sociological and sexual reasons (the fact that the first time with a new partner results in an orgasm for roughly 80% of men but only 13% of women probably hovers near the top of the list), but YouTube videos are not studies and don't prove much.
Civil718 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:20:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably means player for guys.
likesixhobos ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:08:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's somewhat easy for a girl to sleep with many guys, while a guy has to work much harder (or be better looking).
Im_not_bear ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:29:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There's actually a natural reason to it.
In nature birth is a very dangerous thing, especially for humans. A man may be able to have tons of children and it would never really affect health. A woman may be able to have one child all her life if the birth doesn't go well. So if a woman were to sleep with a bunch of men it would show that she doesn't care about here own health and the genes being passed down to her child.
In modern times it doesn't really make sense, since there are multiple ways to prevent a dangerous birth and birth at all, but there is a reason on why we developed these standards.
Edit: You guys could actually give a reason for downvoting, but whatever.
the_omega99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:40:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it doesn't have to be, but I've mostly seen the word used to refer to women. There's way more sex shaming against women than against men (which cuts both ways, since it's lead to the harmful idea that men always want sex).
I don't usually see a single-word male equivalent (except maybe "womanizer", which doesn't have quite the negative connotation).
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:39:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody should just fuck everybody until we're all the same color. -Bulworth
marquisalex ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:12:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus fact - in the early 1800s in Paraguay, this was pretty much law to try and homogenise the population and eliminate racism. They also tried to start a war with Uruguay, Argentina and fucking Brazil at the same time... Those were the days.
Edit: Not Chile.
SuperHotFyer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:36:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did they win?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:41:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They lost 90% of their male population.
thracen239 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:35:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Worth it.
InShortSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what the male female ratio was for the remaining 10% of men to enjoy.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL
JusticeBeaver13 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:34:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm black and my wife is Chinese, so our kids are gonna be.. Mexican somehow" - Dave Chappelle
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its inevitable. Im just patiently waiting till we all look the same and wear uniforms. my life will be so much simplier.
Rearranger_ ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 16:49:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preferances. I like my girls to be monogamous and more traditional. Similarly, I don't go skirt chasing.
[deleted] ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 20:15:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but that's a preference. You don't go around shaming people for it do you? You just don't date them. We're talkin' actual judgement.
Rearranger_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol. Who the hell goes around shaming people for sleeping around? That's their business.
But I'd prefer someone who has about as much libido as I do.
DaFox ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:08:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A shit ton of people actually. So called 'slut-shaming' is a real problem.
alwaysforgettingmyun ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:56:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone who I barely knew go the hell OFF on me for being a filthy immoral whore for having two (fully aware and consenting) partners. At the bar even.
Rearranger_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol. that person's got issues
alwaysforgettingmyun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:51 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She really did.
5ives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:25 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol.
LeeSeneses ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with matching along the sexuality vs. asexuality spectrum.
This is more an issue of someone going; "I am a normal, aculturated person who projects my lack of libido onto others and sees them as morally failed to puff myself up!"
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:34:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You can be monogamous in a relationship and promiscuous when you're single. I'm 22, I've had six threesomes and 20+ sexual partners, but 0 new ones in the last 3 years. I've never cheated on a partner, or even come close.
hanzuna ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:28:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't heard anyone verbalize this, but it is relatable and commendable. Congrats on the 2.5 year relationship.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! Three years in September. And now that I think about it, I hadn't actually fucked anyone else since March of that year, so it's been three years since I had a new partner. I should edit that.
Rearranger_ ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 22:25:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. It just doesn't feel right to be sleeping around.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:54:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine. Just know that monogamous and promiscuous aren't mutually exclusive personality traits. You can't be both at the same time, but you can be both.
Rearranger_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then I guess it would be more accurate for me to say that I don't like promiscuous girls.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:09:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
Speed_Junkie ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 22:35:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They said 'traditional'. Being a dirty slut isn't a tradition in any developed society. I hope that you contract AIDS.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:09:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, being promiscuous is traditional in many human societies. Up to 70% of Amazonian cultures have believed in the principle of multiple paternity, which is the belief that the semen of each male you sleep with combines with your menstrual blood to form a baby, and the more men you sleep with, the more fathers your child will have to provide for it.
Then there's the Mosou practice of "walking marriages" which you would probably consider quite "slutty".
And of course, there's all of the cultures throughout history that practiced polygyny that I probably don't need to link you to.
Then there's the fact that human physiology doesn't make nearly as much sense for monogamy as it does for promiscuity. Males have mushroom shaped penises which can act as a scoop to remove the semen of other males, and they have spermatozoa which exist not to fertilize eggs, but to destroy unfamiliar spermatozoa. Combine that with the fact that there's a distinct inverse correlation between promiscuity and infanticide among primates (more partners, less dead babies) and the fact that human females have the most difficult and dangerous pregnancies of any primate and need to make every pregnancy "count", and it makes way more sense that humans aren't really set up to be monogamous.
Not that monogamy is bad. For the people happy with it, it's great. There's just no reason for it to be the default.
And your mean little wish for me is kind of ironic, since it would require either I or my partner to stop being monogamous, and you seem to be so in favor of monogamy.
p1-o2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+Respect for responding like a sane, civilized adult.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! This is my favorite subject, so I'm actually pretty excited for any excuse to spout off about it.
yitzaklr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fascinating!
Speed_Junkie ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 23:18:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I deliberately said 'developed'.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:24:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, I did miss that. Do they have to be developed now, or can they be places that were the most developed in the world at the time? Because French nobility were famous for having mistresses and lovers for centuries. Plus the polygamy thing, which still stands.
thenichi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christian in particular.
Speed_Junkie ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 23:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Current.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:47:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, how about America? People have been at least serially monogamous for more of American history than not. All that stuff about how people waited for marriage before the sixties is bullshit. It just used to be something people talked about less.
Not that this is really a good argument anyway. Lots of traditional things are bullshit. Like stoning people, and being allowed to fuck your wife even if she doesn't want to. I mostly played along at the beginning because I think the subject is fascinating.
adamrgisom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're saying interesting things, you should share them in a thread sometime that isn't going to be down voted because of the dummy you're responding to. I'm guessing you read Sex at Dawn or something?
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Among a lot of other books on the subject, yes. But don't worry, I say stuff like this all the time!
adamrgisom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you seem like you know a lot. What's one great book?
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What Do Women Want? By Daniel Bergner. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who is a woman, likes to have sex with women, likes science, or any combination of the three. Female sexuality is so pathetically understudied, (did you know that researchers didn't even start trying to map the entire clitoris until 1990? There's some debate over whether they finally succeeded in 2004 or still have yet to full map the whole thing) and this book talks about all of the amazing researchers striving to remedy that.
Also, thank you! :D
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:50:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tone down your jealousy dude
Speed_Junkie ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 22:56:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm really jealous of that whore. Okay, mate.
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:43:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, I don't blame you. My life is pretty awesome.
Speed_Junkie ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ja teลผ.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:35:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Speed_Junkie ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 00:37:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spadaj.
p1-o2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a hilariously stupid human being. You could probably do stand-up if you weren't so ugly inside.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:40:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
garrettcolas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How?
Stormsoul22 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:00:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it has a lot to do with society being basically retarded and thinking women should be sex objects but also pure and innocent. Obviously not all of society, but personally I only see older people have this mindset.
Twirlygig ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:38:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is weird. Some people have the mindset that women are on earth to sexually please men, but they better not be having sex in order to do so, because that makes them loose, easy whores.
amdnivram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
puritan based country, shouldn't be surprising.
GodsAreTired ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lolwut? Society is not like that at all. The vast majority of people are fine with allowing women to make the choice for themselves.
Stormsoul22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only in the last 100 years, though.
GodsAreTired ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not true depending on where you live, but even if it is true, so what? You're not old enough to have been restricted by it
LeeSeneses ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:53:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying there's no ill judgement by any even remotely significant fraction of public society when it's found out a woman's been with multiple partners just for sex?
GodsAreTired ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No there isn't. Not in the civilised world at least. I'm sure in the Middle East or West Africa there would be
spencer102 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
man you don't even have to leave this thread to find examples of people slutshaming
GodsAreTired ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:32:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I repeat, not in the civilised world.
Fuck_Your_Mouth ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a lot of it has to do with the simple fact that it's easy for women to have many many partners and it's difficult for guys. In college I knew a handful of girls who got ran through by the entire baseball team. All they had to do was be at least a 7/10 and pretty much everyone on the team was down. For a guy to run through an entire womens softball team (assuming any of them were straight) he would have to look like Ryan fucking Gosling and he still would have a tough time as soon as a few of the girls found out.
It all boils down to the fact that guys will pretty much fuck anything that's decent looking. Yes, there are exceptions, but we all know it's true. Girls tend to be disgusted by other stuts and judge them way more than guys do. Girls also tend to be a little bit more loyal about not fucking someone their freind's have (and yes, there are plenty of exceptions there too)
So speaking from a practical standpoint, there's a reason why sluts get judged... because it's fucking easy to be a slut.
Chilton82 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:33:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We call it a train my friend.
Paddy_Tanninger ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 16:54:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom calls it wednesday.
BrutalWarPig ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:06:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and your mom calls it "uighghghgruaoie"
coconasanamogramata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shwing
JusticeBeaver13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Her "wednesday book club meetings"
EarthboundCory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guy wouldn't mind? I totally would. I feel guilty having two dates planned, let alone having sex with multiple people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would mind being with two girls. I aint got dick for two ladies.
CarolusX2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see a problem with it but many guys don't like to see other guys penises.
mayonnaise_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannot confirm
Source: I'm a guy
DJ_IllI_Ill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because that's how we evolved.
A woman can be pregnant with one man's offspring at a time. A man, however, can impregnate multiple women.
It makes sense, then, why that double standard exists. If a man is sleeping around, it demonstrates reproductive fitness. It shows that he is fit and capable, and raises his perceived value. It allows him to spread his seed with no disadvantages. On the other hand, there is no advantage to a woman sleeping around, because she can only carry one man's child/ren (twins, triplets, etc.). She doesn't benefit from sleeping around.
There's also the paternity issue. Women have an advantage in that maternity is very easy to determine. A woman knows a child as hers because she gave birth to it. The same thing is not true of men. Barring obvious signs such as race, a man cannot know if a child is his own, and men in general are not going to want to waste resources taking care of someone else's children.
Men don't want women to sleep around because they want to know the baby is their own. Women don't want to sleep around because they want to maintain the support of the father. Men, on the other hand, can sleep around because all that does is spread their seed without disadvantages. Women want men that sleep around because being able to sleep around is a clear display of sexual value.
As society evolved, this dynamic evolved with it into a set of taboos. It shouldn't be a surprise that there is a double standard, and as long as maternity is easier to prove than paternity, I would not hesitate to say that the double standard should remain.
Semirgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Generally speaking, the "single" gender of that triangle isn't cool with it, regardless of which gender it is.
Johnny_Tempest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One word: Pregnancy.
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole double standards thing is ridiculous. How about we all try not giving a shit about how others live their lives.
cocohorse2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's my deal. When men hook up with a lot of women they are sex gods. Other way around and the girl is a total slut. As I say, sleep with who you want to, but do it safe!
VillainNGlasses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because "reasons"
Folcra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/polyamory
IRipShirts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, to me, it's just kinda gross when either gender does it.
QUOTESSPONGEBOB4GOLD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because that makes her a slut
constructivCritic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is the taboo part was the fact that a girl can get pregnant and be left on her own own to deal with the consequences, especially when the real father is unknown...all it takes is 1 time right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because then she's not considered relationship material or she's viewed as damaged goods by other men.
Cheeseologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Promiscuity != polygamy.
jabroni5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin a, man.
mini6ulrich66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because neither of them are me single tear
MajorasSocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A key that opens all locks is a master key. A lock that gets opened by all keys is a shitty lock.
RealMadrizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because there is no power in a vagina that's been penetrated by dozens of men
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because girls frown upon other girls who give it up too easily.
Guys usually don't mind it , unless it's an excessive amount of promiscuity.
DJ_IllI_Ill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is very much true. Back in high school, I saw the most slut shaming being performed by girls, against girls.
strppngynglad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly because girls can get it 10 x easier than guys.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
got-to-be-kind ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes sense if you take it as a forgone conclusion that a woman becomes inherently worth less with each person they sleep with, but a man become more admirable for the same act. Not everyone does.
Azertys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And a pencil sharpener that sharpen all kind and size of pencil is a master pencil sharpener, sound stupid yet ?
Rhana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it have to be a girl? Men can be sluts too.
Can't confirm, am not slut, wish I was.
serosis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:43:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine putting your dick in another man's fleshlight.
Even if cleaned properly, there is a psychological effect.
ย
I should clarify that I am devil's advocating this entire thread when I feel like I can make a negative/positive counter-productive statement.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:14:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only people I see tossing this argument around is non-biology/non-science majors.
Soiledalive ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:12:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
$1 million
ThachWeave ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:23:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, I don't think I could handle 2 girls. I'd have to be like "listen ladies, one of you is getting the short end of the stick here, and I mean that figuratively"
But the point stands. Let the girls do what they like, and who they like.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 16:38:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Having multiple sex partners is significantly different than someone broadcasting to others how much they like sex.
I have a problem with sluts because they're rude and annoying. I don't want to see some female's tits and ass out in the open. If I'm out somewhere, I'm trying to enjoy myself, not get turned on by someone. Cleavage is fine, but chicks walking around with short-short-shorts and a sports bra or equivalent is irritating.
There's a huge difference between a "slut" and someone who enjoys sex.
SllyStringBandit ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:31:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But....girls dressing sexually does not have anything to do with their sexual status.
A girl isn't a slut because she wears booty shorts of sports bras. She is most likely just confident in her appearance and wants to display her body. Women are allowed to dress how they want without concerning themselves over whether you'll take offense to it.
Seriously, you need to scrap that mentality that relates a girls appearance with whether she is a slut or not. And really, why the anger at girls who are perceived to be 'slutty'? Kind of seems like you archetype certain women with personalities that you don't like (annoying, rude) as sluts. That's pretty problematic behavior, dude. You need to let go of that anger and judgement towards a perceived group of people (there are no true indicators to how many sexual partners a girl has had unless she's explicitly stated it); it's not healthy and just contributes to the sexism women face in society.
VentureIndustries ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or you know, it's fucking hot out and they're not allowed to be out in public without a shirt on.
SllyStringBandit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
k
twfu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Human mindset being that the body is a private place, so having it out in the open at locations where it's not warranted cause some judgement? Just my random thoughts, anyways..
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your mindset, dude, not the human mindset. Remember, most humans that aren't "civilized" go around mostly naked.
twfu ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:09:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When most of civilized Humans agree with you and are more open to open nudity we can call it just my mindset. For now it is the general human mindset.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haaave you met Europe? I'm assuming you're from conservative America, because no. Most of the rest of the world--outside of oppressive religious areas--doesn't care much about nudity, much less shorts or sports bras.
Just because you and your local culture believes something doesn't mean it's a general human mindset (though, since you're regularly seeing women in shorts, seems like even your local culture doesn't agree with you).
twfu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. I'm wrong.
But I still imagine that is one of the reasons why those people are thought of as sluts.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:15:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
twfu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly. They don't. Seeing as you and I are not in those locations and are instead in the places that we currently reside.
FrozenInferno ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bateman's principle. There are strong biological underpinnings to male promiscuity and female selectivity.
5thMarines ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cause a master key uses many locks. A broken lock accepts many keys.
LusciousVagDisaster ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:07:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Huge slut here. As long as you are ethical in your slutty practices then no one should care.
Innalibra ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:12:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hoping that the slut movement gets some traction, so that people can stop being ashamed of it and actually show some pride and honesty in the way they are, instead of being sheltered and getting into relationships that are terrible for them because they somehow feel pressured to (men and women alike)
hitlerosexual ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It'll also make things much easier for us men if women would just be able to publicly accept that they like sex as much as we do.
Innalibra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moreso, in a lot of cases
EthErealist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
RedTheWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup - use protection, be honest about it just being a shag and nothing more, and remember to shower between partners, it's just courtesy!
Chilton82 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 15:32:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Says the guy who has a post, "What is this thing on my penis?"
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 15:50:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't have an answer for that
MasterofPandas1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:21:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is it from the "good fight"?
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:23:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish!
FieryCracker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spoiler alert... It's an STI.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yay!
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
Chilton82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you're lazy.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/32hf6z/what_is_this_thing_on_my_penis/
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm sick. Really I am. I have FindItYourselfitis.
senatorskeletor ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 15:43:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a straight dude, and I prefer girls who have some experience and know what they like.
UncleGrga ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:25:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! What i try to avoid are girls who constantly are taken advantage of and/or let it happen due to massive emotional issues.
prozacgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, then you two can exchange lists, to make sure you don't catch anything new ;)
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:57:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
senatorskeletor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:27:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because the second half of my sentence, about my feelings on female sexuality, would be less significant if I weren't straight and thereby affected by those feelings.
_iPood_ ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:36:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 14:42:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're all incredibly sexual little monkeys but have been taught that sex is bad, something to be hidden. Sex should be celebrated. Often and openingly.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:42:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is openingly a word?
schilzy12 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:49:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is if you agree to come over and watch Netflix tonight
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:02:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can we watch Sense8. That orgy scene got me hard.
schilzy12 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:36:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crap, did I just hit on a dude?
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:48:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, You only live once. Go over. Give it a shot. You might like it.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup
ChrisHansen_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:59:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Duuuuuude...
Anolis_Gaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have a seat
thomas105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it not again
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:16:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mind me asking how many long term relationships (LTR) you've had?
I ask because although I've gone through some dating periods where I've had sex with a few people, it's never as good as it's been with my wife. And it's gotten better over time with her.
Also, being in a LTR is profoundly rewarding. We support each other, and we're going to have a baby.
I ask this of you, because I find all the advantages (better, more frequent, more reliable sex, stability, love) of LTRs to be better than the appeal of various vaginas. For me and my wife, exclusivity is an absolute requirement for us. Maybe not for other people. I think it's just how you're wired. I don't think any amount of new age thought will forever open up relationships. Some people are just more jealous than others, and we could not be in a polyamorous relationship - ever.
I know the question is asking "what do you think is OK", but with regards to your comment that I'm replying to: I have sex often with my wife, and we're open about trying all our kinks together. I disagree that having tons of partners is better for all people.
YippyKayYay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:21:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public orgies? You've got my vote.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You in?
YippyKayYay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damm ratt
RightCross4 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:39:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So should STD's and unwanted pregnancies!
tiajuanat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm from, we use condoms and a back-up birth control.ThoughIdon'tlikewhenmydickturnspurplefrombloodpooling.ButheyI
_iPood_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
shutyourgob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wot
Light_of_Avalon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally do what you wan as long as you aren't spreading Disease or creating more little monkeys. And as log as you aren't doing it on the Denny's table in front of me and my child.
sanjeetsuhag ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preach!
spitfire07 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:55:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is an idea I really struggle with, and I wish I could just get over it. Because really, really, what the hell does it matter if someone has been with a hundred people? From a disease/safety stand point it bothers me. Also being 'special'. I try to tell myself, it doesn't matter who someone was, it's who they are with now and who they are going to be with forever.
TurkenjaydeeandJD ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:04:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Like rationally I know it shouldn't matter, but it does. I can't stop thinking to myself, "this girl I am dating used to be the girl who I would never have hooked up with because she was the easy girl at the bar". The whole thing bothers me and it sucks that it does.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:24:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TeddyPicker ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:52:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my approach as well. If I'm just a name on a long list of your sexual conquests then I have been nothing more than a tool for sex and attention. It may not be a popular point, but much of it has to do with self-worth. I feel better about myself knowing that my involvement with another person is the result of the way I have carried myself, rather than their need to fulfill basic sexual cravings.
apoliticalinactivist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:55:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kudos for being self aware and not trying to impose the "sex is magical" view. That is what I believe OP was going for when saying that being a slut is ok. It's not for everyone, but it's ok.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you're just a name, then sure. But even if you have a long list of sexual "conquests", not every one on there is just a name. Promiscuous people can still have intimate, important sex, as well as casual sex.
silverblossum ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do they need to disappear?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:08:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it doesn't have to be a negative thing? Like, I used to love bein' like a gypsy and traveling around doing conventions. Now, I don't. Not because traveling around was bad or negative. My interests just changed (gardening is hard to do when you're not, ya know, there).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
A high partner count doesn't mean an "out of control sex life", though. Sometimes I sleep with a lot of people when I'm single. Sometimes I pick one or two FWBs and only sleep with them. But the only time I've not been in control of my sex life is when I was raped. The rest has been good times and completely within my control. That's all changed, not because of anything bad (the rape happened pretty squarely in the middle of my most promiscuous period) but because I'm dating a monogamous guy and I just don't feel like fucking anyone else. (Not that I'd cheat on him if I did feel like fucking someone else. We'd discuss it and see what the best course of action for our relationship would be, whether it be opening the relationship, bringing someone else into our bedroom fur us to fuck together, or for me to just get over it.) I may never fuck anyone else again, and I'll be happy if that's because I'm with him. But if we broke up, I'd probably fuck a lot of people again, for the same reason I sleep on half a bed now, but I'd take up the whole bed if we broke up. It feels nice and I'd have no reason not to.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:16:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:53:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also said I'd be fine with not fucking anyone else ever, which you seem to have glossed over, and made it sound like monogamy has to be temporary for me.
I'm totally cool with you not dating promiscuous people, like I have zero stake in that, but the way that you talk about it really sounds like you have a lot of fucked up ideas about what it means to have sex with more than a few people in your life. I think those are pretty toxic attitudes to have, when it goes beyond personal preference and into judgement.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:04:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How so? I think maybe you are the one reading too much into something. In any case, let me be very clear: I have no intention of sleeping with anyone else for the rest of my life, unless my relationship with this person ends. If it ends, which I have no intention of seeing happen, then I'm gonna fuck a lot of people. But I'd really rather it didn't.
And I never said anything about "for now". I specifically said I'd be happy never fucking anyone else for the rest of my life.
You're right that I said if he left, I'd fuck a lot of other people. Why shouldn't I? What would I owe him if he left?
I'm only talking about fucking because that's the topic at hand. Do you want to hear about how much I love his laugh, and how talented he is? Do you want to hear about the way my heart rises when he goes along with one of my jokes? Do you want to hear about the way that I've planned to propose to him, or how incomprehensibly blissful I felt yesterday morning when we slept in and cuddled and watched cartoons for hours and hours? Because I feel like it isn't really relevant right now, but I can tell you. I can send you some of the poems I've written about him, or forward you some of the disgustingly mushy texts we've sent to one another. Just let me know. Actually, I'm honestly really hoping you will ask to hear more about my emotions for this guy, because after three years most of my friends have gotten tired of hearing about it, but I still really love to gush. So just say the word.
I do want to apologize if my last comment sounded antagonistic because I called your attitude "fucked up". I can see now how that seems kind of a harsh way to put that. But we all have fucked up attitudes, and I think it's a good idea to look at what they are and why. I've spent a lot of years assessing my attitudes on promiscuity and monogamy, but I still revisit fairly often. I just think it might be a good idea for you to asses your ideas on promiscuity and see if maybe they're a little bit more judgmental than they need to be.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like me to find comments that I've made in the past about how much I love him? I delete all my comments after a week, but I talk about him a lot. I'm sure I could find something. I've also met up with some people from reddit who I've met in real life that can vouch that we're nauseatingly in love, if you need independent corroboration.
Or you could actually stop and examine your attitudes instead of assuming that my relationship must be in shambles because I like dick.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:28:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Illicit_Frolicking ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:35:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hoping that if you stop having that nitpick to cling to, you'll listen to what I'm saying, and you might be able to think about it. I think it's always good to be a little less judgmental about things that aren't hurting anyone.
Yeah, and I would love to hear any thoughts that you have about why your viewpoint is right and mine is wrong.
What's morally wrong with being promiscuous, though? Who are you hurting, if you're safe and honest?
silverblossum ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:55:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't agree that change usually comes from negativity. Nearly all the big changes in my life have come from something positive. Even this topic specifically, I found someone who Id be very willing to compromise my wild sex life for. I don't want my awesome experiences to disappear and I don't find any negativity in being promiscuous... Or monogamous.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
silverblossum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got examples of lots of other changes in my life that don't involve this example in particular. No, I don't feel anything was negative. That's your bias.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
spencer102 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're just asking if it would be bad for them to cheat on someone while in a relationship... duh?!?!
silverblossum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:26:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You made a sweeping statement about most change being due to negativity and you're trying to apply it to a complete strangers life- despite them trying to explain to you otherwise, yet it's me who is biased? You've mentioned in your other comments that you don't like people being promiscuous...so again, why is it me that's biased and not you. We just have differing views on that particular subject.
I could have been a promiscuous person having un-for-filling flings who felt it was negative and completely agreed with you, so the fact I'm promiscuous does not detract from what I am saying. I am telling you I do not believe changing/compromising at this point in my life is due to negativity. I'm happy to carry on as I am or settle a bit depending on where I am later this year.
I disagree with you, we have differing opinions. You're rationalising your negative theory plenty and also making wild assumptions.
I did just say to you that I have lots of other examples of change coming from something positive, which you ignored.
Your last question does not address change coming from something negative, it addresses the difference between being promiscuous when single and cheating on someone.
I believe most change doesn't come from something negative or positive, most my life changes came from something positive- however I am not saying this applies to all. I disagree that most change comes from something negative.
Your statements are just telling of your world view and have nothing to do with me. I find guilt in having my clothes made by slaves in Pakistan, I find guilt in knowing an animal lived a miserable life so it could be killed and eaten by me...I do not feel guilt about having very enjoyable consensual sex with people I count as great friends of mine- or any of those I'm less close with.
lolmonger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No person is anything but the choices they made in the circumstances they had.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should read the book Sex At Dawn.
Rileymadeanaccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:39:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody deserves to be slut shamed. On the other hand, don't expect people to accept your behavior as okay. Lots of people vehemently disagree with it, me being one of them.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a confusing reply
Rileymadeanaccount ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:35:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically: nobody should ever be judged, but don't be surprised when people do judge you for being what some people consider wrong
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dude in my mid thirties in a committed relationship that think people should be less judgmental about sex.
Rileymadeanaccount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:04:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, sure they should. And I'd never say anything to someone's face. But I definitely would never date someone who was "slutty" because I see it as distasteful and a showing of your character
BarneyBent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May I ask what's distasteful about it? You have a right to your opinion on the matter, but I'm curious what the rationale behind it is.
Rileymadeanaccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, it's just a personal feeling. I can't explain why, which is why I feel no negative feelings to those who are open to casual sex, but I simply wouldn't date someone like that. I would feel nervous they'd cheat on me, or just leave me when they're bored. I need a real connection with someone and I need them to hold my same values, or I'll feel nervous about my relationship.
Just last weekend, my friend who is a girl told me her friend wanted to have sex with me. I don't know her well, but I said no because I wouldn't enjoy it. No insult meant to her, but I wouldn't enjoy it.
onebandonesound ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So long as you're safe about it and use protection. Nothing fun or socially acceptable about gonorrhea
ghostphantom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. It's 2015 and if someone says they don't like sex or they think sex is weird, then they're lying.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ghostphantom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do I need to care about asexuals though? They aren't even trying to help the species.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin a
rep2013 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:44:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
M'lady
blamb211 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ay bby u wan sum fuk?
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this racist?
usernumber36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
obligatory RIP your inbox post
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank-you
THUMB5UP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, hello... ( อก~ อส อกยฐ)
DIstaste_Hatesu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as they are being safe about it I don't really care. Most of the time though it is not the case. STD's and unwanted children, just what society needs more of!
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
7 billion and 1
gymcap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me its less about being a slut. I dont care what you do with your sex life thats none of my bussiness... But the people that hurt other people is my problem. The girls that date a guy and suck of 2 others and have sex with another behind guy ones back is not ok. Thats not "slut shaming" either. Common misconception imo. If your gonna be a slut dont let them think its a legit relationship because you might hurt them and even cause trust issues later in life. Some people get cheated on amd have trouble trusting anyone else in a relationship afterwards. This was a psa and not directed at anyone in particular.
TL:DR if your a slut let the other person know before you hurt them...
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:25:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slutness, both male and female, should be shared with partners right away to avoid hurt feelings.
MissBubbleButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Embrace your sluthood
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're not committed to anyone or any of the other people you're having sex with are
Who gives a shit?
Diabolo_Advocato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doctors and medical bills :)
Vandechoz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as long as you're careful about STDs, sure
but I imagine it's a huge hassle to be careful about that beyond condoms while still being anywhere near capable of meeting the criteria to be a slut
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get into arguments with my sister about this a lot. She is all "Well would you be ok with going out with someone who is constantly showing off their body on facebook". I really don't get what her point is meant to be, am I meant to be turned off by confidence?
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what you're sisters point is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit thegoodfight! You were my last hope.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should ask her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. Yeah shes from the "It's not my job to educate you" school of debate. I'd rather drink bleach then try asking her to explain an opinion.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have the mindset in elementary school that girls where sluts or slutty. After growing up by the time I was in college, I grew out of that mentality.
I still know guys who will use that word to describe girls. I can only assume thay are still in that same immature mindset.
welcome2thegoodfight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:40:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say anything about girls.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but I did.
zuppaiaia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeh, I agree. I'm not a slut, not even a little (my SO calls me nun), but why should I care for someone else's sexual habits.
kamiikoneko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a period where I had 30ish partners in a little under a year. I would never judge someone who did the same. Safe, self respecting, respecting of your partners, and knowing the difference between fucking a new friend and doing more than that is the key to making it a positive experience. Being a slut is NOT the same as being shameless.
xDeezyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for the edit.
jen283 ยท 633 points ยท Posted at 14:00:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing my makeup in public. I just don't understand why people get offended by this.
Doc_Haus ยท 1342 points ยท Posted at 14:36:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, no one cares. Unless you do it while driving... in that case fuck you.
jen283 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:41:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, no, usually on the train to work when I sleep in a bit.
g253 ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 15:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
In a train, some (very sensitive) people might be bothered by the smells.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:27:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
g253 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily, to be honest. There's trams and subways and there's trains, the latter are less stinky. This varies by region and country of course, but the point is that some public transport smells fairly neutral until someone opens something smelly. Or so I'm told, I mean to me it all smells strongly of "I don't care".
QueenOfDragon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:45:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makeup (besides perfume, if you consider that makeup) doesn't really have smells...
CareerRejection ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:11:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe foundation has a distinct smell to it. I could be wrong though.
jen283 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:21:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some do, it depends on the brand. Sometimes they put fragrance in to make it seem more luxurious but it's unnecessary and not good for people with sensitive skin.
QueenOfDragon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the foundation. Mine doesn't have an odor, but some powder ones can be scented. Others have sunscreen which would make them smell. Other than scented lotion, I can't really think of a specific makeup that would have an odor strong enough to annoy people.
CareerRejection ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:10:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never really said it bothered me, it just has a distinct smell to it that I can tell is all.
dumpsztrbaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all foundations are the same. They do not all smell the same. Many are unscented.
FrankiePoops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that smell. I hate it. Not many things bother me, but fuck the smell of liquid foundation.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you're wrong. I've never in my life been able to smell someone elses foundation. I can't even smell my own as I apply it. You definitely wouldn't be able to smell it enough to be bothered by it if someone else was using it on the train.
CareerRejection ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife uses something similar to this (she only likes Lancome because of how her skin reacts to other vendors). When I'm kissing her I can definitely smell it compared to when she's not wearing anything at all. It's not over powering or anything but it's distinct.. Then again I can pick up a whole lot of different smells easily.
g253 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You and I are part of what is colloquially known as normal people. Some people however, have a ridiculously developed sense of smell, and will be nauseated by say someone opening nail polish five rows ahead. It happens. It's a thing.
Alagane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nail polish does have a strong smell. So long as it doesn't escape your personal space, do whatever. But to me nail polish is the same as eating spicy curry on the train, it smells and it's annoying.
FullmentalFiction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Allergies exist too. My allergies can trigger if someone is applying certain spray perfumes/colognes in the same train car as me, and it's usually made worse when there's poor ventilation. Sorry, I know you want to smell pretty but I'd like to be able to breathe too...it's not that I want to be that asshole or something, but that's usually how it's perceived when I have to ask someone to stop, even if I explain allergies they tend to think I'm lying or something.
EDIT: I should also mention this applies more to people who basically bathe themselves in perfume, and not the single rogue spray.
Natedogg5693 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mind me eating my breakfast burrito on the bus in the mornings....
g253 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kant spell right.
overpaidbabysitter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, the train has much more offensive things going on ....
KingMong ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:09:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Train? hell no, that shit stinks and makes me sneeze and feel unwell
jen283 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:20:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makeup? Are you thinking of perfume? Some makeup has a very light fragrance, but unless you're super sensitive to fragrance you won't smell it more than a foot away.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe some of the powders get into the limited air? Idk just trying to see the other side. I'm a guy and don't use makeup. I don't care if you[General] put I eyeliner on a bus whatever girl do you. However if you're [general] taking a perfume shower Fuck you you inconsiderate bitch.
KingMong ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:17:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ever been on a train in the city a during the rush to/from work? you are less than a foot from about 4-5 people at all times.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Been on buses tho. However i don't see the point you're making...
Wrathwilde ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:36:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a female cop doing this in SoCal, while driving on the freeway, no hands on the wheel, using the rearview mirror.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:45:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should've pulled her over, bro
frankiefaithful ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:25:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you said. I absolutely hate when I see women doing their make up while driving. It's worse than texting and driving and drunk driving.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:42:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen Doc, people forget they are driving a weapon.
Frostiestone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, you're totally correct.
chickadee_delight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in that case, keep your eye on the stoplight so you don't hold me up when it turns green. also, don't try to apply it while you're moving, be safe! FTFY
Doc_Haus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. You didn't fix anything. You made it stupid. Just don't do makeup while you're driving. If you put on so much makeup that you need to do it while driving then you're wearing too much. Stop endangering me to look trashy.
chickadee_delight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the "f you" was unnecessarily rude, seeing as all she was doing was her makeup. You're right though, the applying of makeup shouldn't happen if its putting other drivers at risk
Banter725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That's what stop lights are for. We should make a PSA.
[deleted] ยท 410 points ยท Posted at 14:30:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thing? When I see a girl doing her make-up in public - typically on public transport while it's moving- I just think "damn, she's daring".
kevik72 ยท 421 points ยท Posted at 14:37:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It freaks me out when they do eye stuff in a moving vehicle.
Super_Zac ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 16:15:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend does that and I'm just like JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE PUTTING A POINTY THING PRACTICALLY ON YOUR EYE IN AN UNPREDICTABLE MOVING VEHICLE.
Mspeck1986 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:18:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I first learned how to do my eye makeup in the back of a moving school bus, I could probably do my mascara during an earthquake now.
odie4evr ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:28:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you slam on the brakes.
SoberNick ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:21:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this comment made my eyes water.
Hellstrike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More likely bleed.
wombat1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trains are generally fairly predictable though. On a bus or the light rail though, that's a special kind of daring
Super_Zac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah she was doing it in the car, seconds before the driver swerved to make it onto an on ramp.
Altruistic_Rat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pointy and not to mention probably covered in bacteria!
Super_Zac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My gf actually cleans all her makeup brushes regularly with soap, idk how effective that is though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty effective if she's getting the old product out of the brushes. If she uses synthetic brushes it's harder for bacteria to grow on the bristles, but old makeup and skin cells help cultivate nasties and can lead to breakouts and stuff.
frozenHelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I clean out my ear with scissors while sitting on my wobbly roller chair.
Super_Zac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you also run in place while doing it
frozenHelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. I'm too busy scratching my ear to run anywhere.
Banter725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do this and it confuses my boyfriend. It's just a skill. I can also put on mascara without a mirror which I've been told is weird. I've just been doing it every day for more than half my life. Anything you do that routinely should be easy in a car or without a mirror.
[deleted] ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 14:45:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gogglecrab ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It freaks me out when they incorporate moving vehicles into butt stuff.
kevik72 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:47:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. I'm alright with that.
yummybreasts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only ok with it if they let me help.
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only if they're attractive, otherwise it's akin to eye waterboarding.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when it's an F1 car.
SirensToGo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's my fetish
ProjectionA51 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lot of theater, and on stage you wear makeup so you can see my eyes when I'm 50 feet away from you. Eyeliner? Terrifying. You use a pencil to put it on! And sometimes you want the pencil to be sharpened I've gotten more comfortable with doing it and don't fear losing my eye but damn if I would put makeup on in a moving vehicle.
Sidebar. You look so nice with makeup on! I wish I was less lazy and it was more acceptable for doodz to wear makeup. Mainly the lazy thing is holding me back.
BasedGoDBilliam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. One bump away from having only one eye.
Banter725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, your reflexes are really shockingly fast
lachalupacabrita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do heavy color guard makeup on the bus headed to a marching band competitions back in high school. 3/10 stabbed self with mascara every time.
Mackelsaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, just like I'd be concerned for someone who is spraying bug spray in their face while driving or something. I'm sure it can be done without issue, but you're distracting yourself and creating a hazard.
englishmace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is bracing the edge of your hand on your face - and pulling back pretty quick if acceleration happens!
Mirrorflute88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mascara is ok once you've done it more than twice. Eyeliner and especially tight lining it flicking dangerous in a moving vehicle
FunkedAllUp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While driving that vehicle.
Shemhazaih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even do my eye makeup while standing still.
QueenOfDragon ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:46:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had an ex that would do break checks while I was putting on mascara. Not only dangerous but also extremely immature.
myhairsreddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a lazy teenager meant learning to do my makeup on the bus to school in the morning. I had many a girl friend watch me in awe as I applied my emo eyeliner without fail while the bus bumped us all the way to school.
Themiffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just think that I hope we don't hit a pothole while she has that pen next to her eye.
drunk98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rubber Necking Tip: This is a great time to slowly check out the rest of the package.
Lyeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a few women who do their make up on the trolley every morning, without a mirror.
It's impressive and I envy their ability.
jsmith52104 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it is an epidemic. On average, I see atleast three women swerving through traffic everyday, all because they are steering with one elbow and putting on eyeliner
ask_me_about_kirby ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 14:10:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People actually get offended by this? Like have you been confronted?
Sarahthelizard ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 14:36:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I've heard of it, it's other women, I guess they think the curtain's being pulled back.
But it's not on the same level as changing your tampon in public or something.
Flonaldo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:42:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the love of god, please, never do that in public.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my fetish.
iwannaboopyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It would be, u/FilthMonster.
jen283 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:41:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It tends to be more older women who get offended by it. But yes some people think that not going to the bathroom to reapply lipstick is, like, bad etiquette or something.
ask_me_about_kirby ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:13:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like the perfect example for mind your own business.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:38:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mother got a comment once on what a lovely daughter (me) she has, but her manners could use some work(Chapstick, bro. It was Chapstick. And I've put on a hell of a lot more in public). I'm not sure where it originated but the general tone is that it's "impolite" though no one has been able to articulate why that is.
kelustu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She probably did it while driving.
424f42_424f42 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 14:44:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
are you spraying anything, using anything powdery, using something smelly, constantly hitting into things (like the person sitting next to you), etc?
If not, no one probably cares, but its common
jen283 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:51:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I usually just finish up my eyeliner, eye brows, and mascara. I do the face stuff at home
George1793 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:53:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People aren't supposed to see the effort women put into looking beautiful--they're supposed to look naturally beautiful. I don't think it's something to get offended by, though. Everyone knows women put on makeup to enhance their features.
ac161 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:59:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is the main reason, people assume you're vain if caught putting on makeup in public. I've heard both men and women make fun of women for doing it because "they're so obsessed with themselves they always have to be applying makeup and can never show a bare face"
Lyeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It also stems back to the time when make up was a very private thing. We're talking early 20th century, when women wore limited make up, but the act of putting it on was strictly a in the bed room/boudoir thing. Women were secretive about what products they used and they were marketed as such. Hell, rouge and scent were sold under the counter from a pharmacist essentially.
Why it's such a to do when this idea of make up being a woman's secret is completely gone and you walk into Target and are accosted with rows and rows of various make up and products. Which is fine, but it just means none of this is a secret.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:07:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not make up, but being a male with long hair trying to brush your hair in the gentlemen's toilet you always get chastised with angry stares, tuts and sarky comments. Mans gotta brush his hair from time to time!
pyro5050 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
go nutz! do your make-up, but fully expect me to stare at you while doing the eye areas because i am secretly watching to see if you stab yourself or make a bad mistake and dont notice so i have some form a "normality" in my life. :)
Shadax ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:24:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think anyone actually cares about this.
Renmauzuo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live that this is taboo? I see girls doing makeup in public all the time and nobody cares.
jen283 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of one of those outdated etiquette rules like "don't put your elbows on the table." I've met very few people who actually have a problem with it but it comes from the "you must always act a proper lady" type of people.
wee_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please just don't do it in your car during morning rush hour while driving ten-under in the passing lane.
SouthpawRage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People get offended by you doing your makeup in public? I mean, as long as your not doing it while you're driving and being all distracted, why would anyone care?
I usually take my makeup with me to work and put it on in the bathroom just because I drive myself. If I carpooled or took public transit though, I'd probably do it then. If it bugs anyone, fuck 'em, it's not like I'm throwing glitter in their face.
daSilvaSurfa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of someone getting offended by makeup application. Is this a regional thing?
serosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They get offended by your seemingly disregard for time management.
If you managed your shit better you could have got your makeup done at home.
Which also means you are a bit unreliable when it comes to getting things done on time.
TheBlackSpank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never even heard of this. How would this bother anyone?
Trolling-along ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind, just stop the bloody car first!
PigSlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're not also driving a car at the time, I can't think of a time when I've been offended by that.
dayblow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're in the subway and cocking out your elbows and taking up space, then I might take issue with it. Mostly though I just feel anxious when you're putting on eyeliner and the train is jostling around and I'm certain you'll stab yourself in the eye.
spidy_mds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a thing at the States?
RUBY_FELL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where is this considered socially unacceptable?
lallish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get mesmerized by this. It's calming to look at women doing their makeup. Without trying to stare of course.
Meistermalkav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
.....
I as a man do salute in front of you, if you can do the makeup in public. I tried, for a DARE, to follow the tips of the GF's magazines.
Since then, I have massive respect for all the people who can put on makeup and make it look good... and YOU CAN DO THAT IN PUBLIC????? Most likely whil moving? And with people looking? I nearly blinded myself permanently on multiple occasions....
is amazed
red_turtle_slide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't care unless you got powder all over the place lol Maybe I'm just messy but when I do mine at home, powder is flying all over the place.
CodeJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think anyone actually cares that you do that...
Shybrenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't spray deodorant in an enclosed area.
clappingdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just when you're driving a car.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its considered "personal care" by some so people are offended for the same reason you don't put on deodorant or clip your nails in public.
BRB_GOTTA_POOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL People get offended by this.
hellschatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Many girls did that in South Korea. At first it irritated me but only because I've never seen girls doing it in public before. Don't know why this should bother anyone.
gingerbreadxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just... not on a train. i don't why this bothers me so; but you (the make up applier) look like a freak and we all contain our preparation in our bathrooms, why can't you? really though it shouldn't bother me. it's not like foundation makes me sneeze.
littlewildone92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people not like this?? When I was doing chemotherapy I had like 9 hour sessions that started at like 7 am so I would show up in pajamas or something, having just rolled out of bed, and then wait until I was more awake and put my makeup on in the chemo room with all the other patents and nurses in there. It saved me time in the morning and killed time during long ass chemos so fuck it lol I say do your makeup wherever you want.
Kastoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends, if you're one of those people who go spritzing fucking perfume all through he bus, fuck you, sincerely my sinuses.
NoCardio_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are a modern day Rosa Parks. No really.. people care?
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It can be gross.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I enjoy watching a girl put on make-up. My girlfriend used to always fuss at me for staring at her while she was getting ready. That being said, I fully support you putting make-up on in public, as long as you support me staring at you while you do.
King_of_the_Hobos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what? who gets offended by that? Do people confront you or something?
boatsyourfloat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not offended by this, but as a girl I would never do this. I put on make up to cover up thongs I don't want people looking at and draw attention to thing I want people to look at. Why the hell would I showcase my efforts in public? I don't want you to know I work hard to look good.
arayanexus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time doing makeup in public bothers me is when someone is driving a car. Parking lot? Cool. Gas station? Fine. Mirror at the restaurant washroom? Have a blast. Do not be the person lining her waterline at 70mph in morning rush hour.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more offended that you feel the need to put makeup on. I don't.
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get offended at people putting makeup on in public. I just think makeup in general is really fucking stupid.
bortnib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i watched a girl pull a tissue of her powder compact and use it to smear powder on her face. that kind of grossed me out a bit
Juus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't whip out your own chemistry set to do you nails, then i don't mind. I've smelled the stench of acetone in public transportation and even once in a restaurant.
Moomium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, people get offended by this? I got through my makeup routine on the bus this morning quicker than usual, so I spent the rest of the trip watching two or three other women do their makeup.
MiaK123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get offended by it, but I'm definitely judging you and the fact that you can't wake up at a proper time to do that at home. Who wants to carry around all that stuff to work/school? And you look downright silly trying to pull that off on a moving train/bus.
Also hate it when women do this in the public bathrooms. I'm just trying to poop in peace and now I have to "politely" wait for you to finish doing your makeup. Ugh, women's bathroom etiquette.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck anyone who does this. It smells like pure shit and we really don't need to smell it.
Brianna-Girl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:04:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's ridiculous. If anyone criticizes you for something silly like that, stab them in the eye with your eyeliner and force them to eat their own shit... that may be a little much, but as far as I'm concerned, silly, sensitive, offended people can eat shit.
pantofla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:55:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm generally ok with you doing whatever you want, as long as it doesn't affect me. Don't demand space for 3 in a full train thought. Also, my eyes are really sensitive. Idk why, that's how they are. So, while things like lip stick, eye liner, mascara etc are fine, I can't stand that other dusty thing. Or hair spray. Apply hair spray 10 feet away and my eyes turn to waterfalls.
goldishblue ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thought it'd be more of a shame for the woman, she is basically announcing she has to apply paint to correct her face. Go to a large city and a lot of women do it on the subway, as long as you don't see anyone that knows you, you're ok.
lydiadovecry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:01:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, how is this a thing? Do tell
[deleted] ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 16:12:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Standing alone in a corner and just observing. For some reason, many people still think introverts are socially awkward. I relish in the opportunity to be by myself at large gatherings and not saying a fucking word to another human being. Call me weird but watching extroverts go about their business while not being directly or personally involved is actually a pastime of mine.
baconfall ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:09:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
siting in a park in a large city or during a busy hour and just....watching. just observing humanity is fun and calming.
Wallywallsthe2nd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:02:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even necessarily watching them, just having the comfortable background noise of a living city is so relaxing. It's like white noise.
myusernameranoutofsp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:33:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a huge fan of watching people, but sometimes people talk so loud that I end up closely following their conversations. Sometimes they eventually get to a topic that I'm knowledgeable about and I want to butt in and say something, but then I remind myself that I don't know these people and I'm not actually a part of the conversation.
Boush117 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:58:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't seek out places to introvert, but sometimes when I am bored and alone, I start looking at the people around me and wonder what they are like, trying to deduce their personalities and whatnot. It is fun.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:00:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same. I've been called anti-social but I thoroughly enjoy watching people more than I do talking to them.
Boush117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also love just watching things. If I am taking a walk and I have nothing urgent to do, I will stop to look at ants, birds or whatever I see on the way. Sometimes in summer I just stare at little rivers as they flow. Your thoughts on random watching?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:09:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as I don't have to talk to another human, then it's fine.
dansredd-it ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more of an extrovert, but I definitely understand that. It's interesting watching people go through life's motions. I can't imagine anyone judging you for doing that. Do they really?
TheFlyingSquirrel1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is best for me being in high school where I'll sit at a lunch table and just listen to the people around me very calming and insightful
EchoJunior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like that kind of person
omnompikachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, you said it brother.
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you've ever been to Italy/France cafe's litter the streets practically built for people to sip their cup for an hour and people watch; people watching is more socially taboo in america than Europe.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like going into the city alone, and just being amongst the mass of people, without actually interacting with anyone at all.
HearthNewbie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a little creepy though. From others perspective. Especially since people don't know what you're thinking while you're just watching them in silence.
3nine ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 21:15:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower is okay with me.
If you're showering and you have to pee, just pee in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:36 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the shampoo bottle?
Deadbreeze ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This! My friends get all mad when I don't rinse it down.
SuperCowToTheRescue ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 14:48:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
breatsfeeding in public, I don't mind.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:56:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't figure out why this is taboo exists. Is it a religous thing?
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:54:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It pertains more to the "nudity" aspect of it, you know the whole deal about how women's nipples are different than men's.
hwarming ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:26:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because childrens' heads literally explode if they see boob
h3ph43s7u5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:31:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
STOP TRYING TO KILL MY CHILD, COVER YOUR NIPS!
FullmentalFiction ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:30:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I don't care that they just saw some dude get torn in half by a flesh-eating zombie last night on TV, NO NUDITY!
mnh1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:00:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. It's a changing culture thing. People don't have kids as often as they used to, formula feeding was incredibly popular for our parents' generation, porn is more available than it used to be, and people are having kids later in life than they're to.
All of that means that most adults in areas where public breastfeeding is stigmatized weren't exposed to the concept as children, don't personally have any experience with breastfeeding babies, aren't around babies often enough for the sight to not catch them off guard, and formed their first memories of women's breasts from seeing them in a sexual context.
That makes seeing them being used normally very jarring.
holdmusic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very good summation of this issue. Thanks.
radome9 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:19:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All abrahamic religions are big on taboos around the female body.
SerasVal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:52:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a social thing. I lived in Argentina for three years which is a very Catholic (Abrahamic religion) country, but its totally acceptable to breastfeed in public there. Once I got over the initial surprise and realized that no one cared it didn't bother me.
lostsemicolon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Statue of the Virgin Mary in Manilla.
Tendoncs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't have a problem breastfeeding. I think it is natural and an amazing gift to your child. From my experiences most people do not care if it is some what desecrate. When desecrate I have seen many people just walk past and not notice. When my son was young he was breastfeed in public a few times it was no big deal. But Most the time we could time it to do it in private. Babies very rarely spring it on you when they need to be feed.
I do have one breastfeeding story I have always had an issue with. When I was in college there was a small group of girls who made it a point to breastfeed in the middle of campus or the lunch room a few times a day. They would take everything off from the belt up. They would sit there for a hour or more naked from the top up even when not feeding and would do things like chase the kid around topless. When they got confronted they would say they where breastfeeding. I worked in the cafeteria as a line cook and clean up staff. We would get complaints a lot about them. Also when I would clean up outside I would come across them doing this.. a lot.
While I have no problem with women being topless in public. I think it is a nasty double standard. My problem was when I overhead them talking one day to each other in the lunch area. They did it mostly because they enjoyed voyeurism. It made them feel sexy when the young guys would look at them. The college had a program where highschool kids would come take classes. If there was not a baby there and they flashed highschool boys they would be labeled a Pedophilia. I never could understand why they could get away with doing this just because there was a baby within 5 feet. If they had been feeding I can understand it but most the time the kid would be playing or sleeping.
Once even one of them ordered food topless. waited for the food to be finished then went and waited in line to pay. Then she sat away from her kid and ate her food while her friends watched her sleeping baby. As far as I know this only happened once. They where talked to about it because of "safety" reasons. This also applied to guys who came in topless too FYI. It was just no one knew how to tell them with out getting sued there was a "No shirt, no shoes, no service" Rule. They wanted to sue the school over this. IDK if they ever did.
Side note, it is FUCKED up to hand express your extra breast milk into paper towels and leave them on the table for me or anyone to clean up. There is a trash can 5 feet away from you. Toss that shit away.
edit: spelling error.
woodchopperak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never had a child, if you are honestly making this statement.
Tendoncs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you are half right. Short version of the story.
My son was born and turned out to not be my bio son (unknown to me). I raised him almost all on my own from birth to about 4 years old. He was breastfeed mostly for about 6 months until she could not go any longer with out drinking and doing drug. She used to get upset with because she had not been able to get "Fucked up in over a year". Once I found out she was drinking/drugs I put him on the bottle. Then she just fell off the face of the earth for the most part until he was about 2. She would see him while being high maybe once a week for 4 hours to maybe 2 days. We started a custody battle because I found out she was;
This is just some of the list. Had solid proof of all but number 8 did not have solid proof. His psychologist said she was almost sure of it. We reported it and nothing happened. Her BF would take him into the bathroom for a long time for "Potty Training" He was potty trained over year and her BF was still doing it. My son would freak out when you try to take his pants off, Also he had some redness in areas I took him to the Doctor and he noted it but the Doctor said it was not proof. He also wet the bed a lot over at her house. My he almost never wet the bed. I think once.
Once we finally got to court after she used every trick to make it take as long as she could, did not show up, switched lawyers and more. I lost custody because I was not the biological father. He was 4. I did not even get to say goodbye. I was not allowed to present any evidence. I have not seen him for a long time. So I guess your right I never had a child. However I did raise a newborn to 4 years old almost by myself.
Also that is why I put "very rarely" He fed about every two hours from new born until 6 months old. At that point he had snacks he could eat. Not a day goes by I do not miss him. There are some things I cant ever do again with out tearing up a little. If you want more on the story goes to some of my other posts on this account.
Thanks I stand corrected I have never had a child.
Edited formatting.
Pileobones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure. That happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I read your story a few hours ago & wow, that's a bit fucked up. Since then I've thought about a group of young girls who have been victimized for the act of producing
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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IWantALargeFarva ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is a baby eating, gross? Is it gross when I eat a hamburger? It's fucking milk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IWantALargeFarva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not eating. You're saying that a person eating is gross. That's just retarded. If you're not grossed out by anyone else on the planet eating, then there's no reason to be grossed out by a human baby eating.
Do you get offended when you see kittens nursing? Cows being milked? Piglets eating? Get the fuck over yourself.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:37:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's what they're there for. How can people be against it. Would they rather listen to a screaming baby?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:45:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to calm the fuck down. You were a baby too once and I can assure you you cried and screamed too. Babies need to leave the house, it's important for their mental development to be exposed to as many kinds of stimulus as possible. And we shouldn't shackle new parents to their home either. You're in a very small minority that hates babies. They don't cry and scream all the time at all. Whenever I see babies on the train or at the mall they're surrounded by strangers cooing at them and being happy. I don't even want kids and I love seeing babies. You sound so childish and immature. Crying babies are a part of life and have been for centuries. And as much as it would make you happy it's neither healthy nor feasible to keep them hidden away.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are actually. If you have no children, little siblings, nieces or nephews you wouldn't get it, but at some point there's no choice. Parents can't magically make their babies not cry. And most normal mature people get that.
Kastoli ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:56:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this an American thing? I'm from Australia and I see it all the time, like, at least once a week. It's certainly not taboo here, mind you, neither is the word 'cunt' and from what I gather on Reddit, that's like killing someone's dog in America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's so hot therein the summer that you cunts probably see more flesh than that every day and get desensitized. I'm from a country where even in summer it usually only reaches 20 degrees. People still bring coats with them just in case. Very little skin on show.
Poppenhoffer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:29:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah me neither ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:43:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jedo89 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:54:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about their plump delicious perky milk filled breast?
FullmentalFiction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only glance at 500 things a day? You need to try harder.
meatotheburrito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, your computer screen is only one thing.
FullmentalFiction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but there's this thing called "the outside" where there's more than 500 things in every direction! I tried it once, it was amazing.
shinymangoes ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then scream that it's natural blah. I don't care who you are or what you're doing. I never ever want to see your tits. Ever.
neocommenter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, Idaho is the only state where this is not a legal right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same, usually catches my attention because I'm not used to seeing it but I just look away to give them their privacy. Rather have a boob in the corner than a crying baby.
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin does this but brings a simple apron to put over her. if you have a kid that young your obviously carrying shit with you so its no hassle.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be against this, but then I realised that I was the one displaying abhorrent behaviour.
Babies have to eat, and they have to eat NOW.
shinymangoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate seeing breastfeeding in public where women whip out their tits and basically waggle it off like they have no dignity and their kid comes first and yawn, mombie talking.
I adore when a breastfeeding mother uses a light towel/blanket to cover up. Because natural, sexy, or none, I don't want to see anyone's, male or female, nipples/titties.
Ever.
KyleDrewAPicture ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just mind the women that won't shut the fuck up about it.
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or the women that give you the death stare as you walk by, as if daring you to challenge their breastfeeding rights.
TheSeaIsRadioactive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My baby is hungry! Look at my tit and judge me!"
Vtepes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:00:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do, if you're in a god damn swimming pool. Fucking YMCA says people are allowed to breast feed in the pool. In what world is that sanitary? Bunch of window lickers running that organisation.
Pileobones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Might be best to just ban all lactating women from the pool. Just one drop of breastmilk from a leaky lactating boob can pose a huge health risk to all swimmers. /s
Vtepes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think you got that the wrong way around.... the water in the pool wouldn't be sanitary for a baby to be taking in.
POW_HAHA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:50:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that really an issue? I see it all the time.
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 18:04:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
raj96 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:25:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What pleasure do you get out of an exposed nipple while fully clothed in public? Not to mention most women cover up
Solesaver ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 18:56:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exposing children to 'taboo' subjects, and just being straightforward and honest with them in general. Like, I feel adults are way to afraid of just having honest and frank conversations with children. It's ok to tell a child about something taboo, and then make them understand that it is inappropriate to talk about outside socially intimate settings. Instead we put this burden on everyone else to walk on eggshells because innocent children are present.
TreChomes ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:58:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I have kids that's how I'm going to approach everything. If my kid asks a question, he's getting an answer. And no baby talk
socomeslove ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:57:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always said that if a child is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest (albeit age appropriate) answer. Kids shouldn't be lied to. It'll just make it harder for them as they get older.
kdoodlethug ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:42:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Just because they can't phrase a question correctly, the fact that they are even indicating curiosity shows that something is happening in their mind. That something will happen whether they are given an answer or not, and without facts, who knows how their kid-logic will sate that curiosity?
M0b1us0ne ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:19:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, nowadays they'll hop on Google and get all the answer they could ever want. Best they get the truth from a parent than have to figure it all out by themselves (like me).
Majormlgnoob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But how else are they going to get the joys of internet porn?
Prometheus720 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, SOME things you just have to learn on your own.
kdoodlethug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it depends on their access to the internet. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to use the internet without asking so until I was in junior high or so, I just asked questions. After that I googled things. I don't know how common that is now but I would imagine that younger kids at least would either have less access to google or have difficulty knowing how to search effectively.
_Dotty_ ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:11:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin yelled at me for teaching his shitty kid how all the dinosaurs died out.
Like sorry your child can't deal with reality. I'm over here presenting the kid with facts. It's not my fault you've raised him in some fantasy world where dinosaurs still exist in Utah.
Aardvarksunited ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:48:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This made my day haha
_Dotty_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:02:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's fucking abnormal for someone to tell their child that dinosaurs still exist. Is he not going to learn this through any educational material out there on dinosaurs?
lucyfur919 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dinosaurs still exists. We call them "birds." Basically a bunch of theropod dinosaurs survived the extinction events and they eventually grew wings and stuff. Some of them already have wings. Like velociraptors
So technically, dinosaurs still exist in Utah, and a lot of other places.
justrun21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's definitely strange...I don't think it would crush the kid to know that dinosaurs don't exist. I was fascinated by the fact that they didn't exist anymore when I was 5. Watched Walking With Prehistoric Beasts all the time and could tell you all about all sorts of dinosaurs and, well, prehistoric beasts.
turtlepuberty ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:30:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"But how am i going to explain to my kid about a couple of guys getting married?"...Not my problem
FullmentalFiction ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:42:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, when a man and another man love each other very much...
...they get married. Now, who wants ice cream?
turtlepuberty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:14 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, when a man and another man love each other very much... ...they get married. Now, who wants a mustache ride?
the_omega99 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:13:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I've found so many taboo subjects where I just can't figure out a good reason not to explain what it is. The knowledge doesn't hurt the kid or anything and can help them in some situations.
For example, I can't identify why you wouldn't teach a kid what sex is early. Obviously you'd also teach them that it's something they should not be doing. I'm not really convinced that just because they'll have this knowledge that they'd suddenly try and have sex or something (especially since they'll likely figure out a vague gist of what sex is way before they're given a structured lesson on it, thanks to how widespread it is in the media).
Such knowledge would help the kid better identify when if someone attempts to molest them and better explains why someone would do such a thing. It would avoid some of the situations I've heard people tell stories of, such as a kid thinking their parents are hurting each other because the kid overheard the parents having sex.
Peatmoss613 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:57:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you. I have found that people are way to hypersensitive nowadays. You can tell children things that are appropriate to their age and they don't break.
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest I think there's also a rational fear of your children going and repeating what they were told, thus getting you into deep shit for having your beliefs imposed on said child's friends. That, and social services. Man, my mom had social services once at our door because the nosy neighbor saw me playing outside "alone" in our private, fenced-in backyard while my mom was by the patio door 20 feet away reading a book. I didn't understand it at the time but jeez apparently if the wrong person sees you living your life they can fuck you up any time they want.
Solesaver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:09:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I think that's kinda the point. I mean, when I'm explaining something taboo to a kid I definitely include the part about why it is taboo, and why you shouldn't just go around talking about it with anyone, but I'm also ok with them telling other kids what they know (in appropriately private settings). It would then follow that I'm ok with that kid telling/asking their parents about it.
In the end, I'm ok with not protecting all the poor, innocent children of the world from that nasty, nasty information...
Wearenotacodfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeessss!
Kids are incredible, they'll be fine. I'm planning on raising my hypothetical future kids without Santa Claus or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. There are enough real sources of joy and wonder in this world without having to elaborately lie to trusting loved ones.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:28:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Wearenotacodfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must have fonder memories of these things than I do. Or perhaps a different definition of "magic".
I love Christmas and the holidays but not for the commercial cheesy Santa aspect.
FutureExMrsGoldblum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could upvote this more than once.
shenronz ยท 472 points ยท Posted at 14:26:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not cleaning my house as often as I should.
rabidassbaboon ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 16:06:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like that with some things but not others. Dirty dishes and overflowing trash start to reek fast and attract bugs so I keep up with that. I've got 3 dogs and a cat so I have to vacuum every week or the dander gets out of control. Showers and toilets though? Fuck that. The mold has to achieve sentience before I'll break out the bleach.
casualLogic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:29:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me help you with that, I'm an expert on "efficiency!" (lazy as fuck) Get an old Windex bottle (any plastic squirt bottle will do), fill it with bleach and keep it in your bathroom. Just squirt the nasty spots after you shower, and you can literally go months without cleaning the tub.
csonnich ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:24:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't do a Windex bottle, just to avoid the possible toxic gas from the bleach + ammonia.
You could probably clean the bottle out really well, but still.
rabidassbaboon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually pretty brilliant. Definitely gonna give that a shot for a while.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:20:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude just get a bottle of tilex and spray the shower right after you get out. No more mold.
SubscribeToCatFacts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meow! Here is today's cat fact: Both humans and cats have identical regions in the brain responsible for emotion. For more facts, reply with catnip!
burnie_mac ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:31:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every single one of those things is out of control in my apartment.
[deleted] ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 15:44:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
shenronz ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:51:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want to come and live with me?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:04:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DeathByPetrichor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say you're not Patrick Bateman, but your comment suggests that you are Patrick Bateman. Are you Patrick Bateman?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:42:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Xombin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey aren't you totally not that guy putting my kids through college with purchases of rain attire, lumber modification equipment, and plastic sheeting?
DeathByPetrichor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:45:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure!
XxsquirrelxX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same with my parents. I have to vaccumn my carpet even when there is nothing wrong with it. But then again, we do have a dog that sheds like crazy.
BananaPuddings ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:10:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father is addicted to vacuuming. One time I woke up at 5 am to find him vacuuming our living room.
XxsquirrelxX ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:35:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing here, son, just cleaning the house.
atlgeek007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feel free to come over to my house and clean it. I might even pay you.
bear__attack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got this urge too. I'm convinced it's the dregs of my mother's OCD. But it's just not strong enough to make me washes the dishes every day. Or every other day.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:11:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shot in the dark, are you a woman?
ronan7557 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:56:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Especially if you have kids. Those guys are always messing stuff up. There is a difference between untidy and dirty. If its dirty you do need to clean. If its just things laying around who cares? I believe there should be an equation that says the more people you have in your house the more % of untidiness you can get away with. There should also be a variable for how close someone is to you. brother coming over? Naw I'm not picking up anything. He was raised in the same untidy house as me, he knows.
triplemeow ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:58:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to feel the same way but I think it's really beneficial. I'm still not great at housekeeping, but I noticed that it feels better to have a clean home. Physically and mentally.
It's also nice to invite guests over without much ado. I can live with my mess just fine, but it's not fair to subject guests to that. Along the same lines, if someone pops over, I can enjoy their company instead of feeling stressed and resentful (even if, yeah, they should've called first).
Sirspen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have the opposite feeling. Having a messy room makes me feel like I've been productive.
triplemeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting! I guess it just goes to show everyone works differently.
Somethingcool72 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:15:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, not cleaning the house when guests are over. My room is a disaster, but they don't need to go in there.
VOZ1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to hate cleaning so much. My room growing up was a disaster, and my room in college was equally bad until around my senior year. I had allergies all my life, and I finally realized that cleaning (especially vacuuming/dusting) actually makes me feel better. So my strategy is to do small clean-ups continuously, rather than one massive clean up. I'll dust my dresser, maybe clean the toilet or bathtub, things like that, when I notice they're a bit dirty. Every couple weeks I'll vacuum and steam mop the whole place. But doing quick, smaller clean-ups every day or two makes the big cleanups less necessary. Straightening up for 5-10 minutes a day goes a long way.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, I want to be able to have people over whenever. I don't need to house clean but I dont want to be embarassed when I have guests.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:13:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, fuck it, i clear it when i am in the mood. 2 weeks later you come home from work and know you have guests who will show up in 30min. no no no!
LaurAdorable ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:22:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I got that shit down. This is called, "the illusion of clean"
Lysol wipes make the bathroom smell clean. Switch out bathroom towels. Endust the coffee table and now the living room smells clean. Vacuum the rug fast and make lines. Fix the blankets and pillows. Put the random clutter that's everywhere in your hamper, close hamper, you can get to that later. Light a candle. As you wait for guests just wash the dishes and get that going.
wolf2588 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cleaning is easy. Keeping it clean is another deal
One_Half_Of_Tron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, your space is your space. But if I'm having guests over, my house is gonna be clean. I like to clean my space regularly anyway, but all of my friends have ridiculously filthy apartments that they never ever seem to clean, so I don't go to their houses any more, and then they say "OneHalfOfTron, how come we never see you anymore?" And it's not socially acceptable for me to say "Because I don't want to go sit in your living room that smells like cat shit and watch people play Magic The Gathering instead of having an interesting conversation or something else I could participate in." Or maybe that's just me.
shenronz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you're the weirdo.
Cat shit is fine.
One_Half_Of_Tron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about cat pee?
shenronz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too classy. Some say that it's used in perfumes.
MissBubbleButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard someone freak out because they haven't washed their sheets in two weeks. I was like "meh?"
shenronz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree! I usually go to sleep after I take a shower, so... I'm actually really clean when I go to sleep!
MissBubbleButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! I wash every month or so, especially because im in California with the drought
shenronz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any problem, then
iwannaboopyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be like that till I got bedbugs. Now I wash my sheets at least once a week and I check my bedding every other day. Those fuckers will make you lose your mind. Never wanna have to go through that constant skin crawly feeling ever again.
MissBubbleButt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
shivers
CrystalElyse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm allergic to dust mites as well as many other things. If I don't clean my house enough (about weekly, maybe every other week) my allergies just get terrible and I turn into a headachey, dribbly mess. :(
shenronz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can buy one of those nasa-created air purifiers... they're expensive but they're great, I've read. And are maintenance free. And created by nasa!
CrystalElyse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I looked into it, and it seems there's a huge debate as to whether or not they actually do anything?
Aside from which, it doesn't help me sitting on the unvacuumed couch, or pulling books off the undusted bookshelf, or showering in the unbleached shower, etc. It's easy enough to just..... keep the house clean.
shenronz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well... they use them on the ISS, I think... but, yeah, they don't have dust there.
Anyway, you should buy it because of nasa!
_caponius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adderall does wonders for cleaning up.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are encouraging bugs and nasty shit where I live though, fuck you.
0RGASMIK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sound like my roommates
The-MeroMero-Cabron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who doesn't visit your house that often- or ever- I am perfectly okay with this.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slob lyfe, yo!
insomsanity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AGREED.
It's my house! I can live in what ever environment I want.
Razzman70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hardly ever clean up my room. Nobody goes up to it other than me and the entire 2nd floor of the house is basically storage so a little clutter isnt out of the norm for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forget socially acceptable, that not hygienically acceptable.
Framski55 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:35:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bare-footedness in public.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
honestly I'm more comfortable when barefoot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Risk of stepping on something and getting Tetanus or something is very high.
mochi_chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't do it, but I sometimes wonder why it's not socially acceptable. (Other than safety reasons of course)
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1819 points ยท Posted at 14:23:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nudity. There's fuck all wrong with the sight of the human body and people's genitalia. If there wasn't so much emphasis on hiding natural parts of the body as it is 'offensive', I would imagine there would be a lot less body conscious people about.
The whole "think of the children" argument around showing sexual organs is also completely asinine. Guess what, as a baby, they started in the penis, came out of the vagina (unless a c section is done but you get my drift) and fed on someones breast. Also it's not like they don't have sexual organs till they're 'old enough'. They're going to get curious about their functions one day. Sure, that doesn't mean it's okay to show pornography to 10 year olds or have them be open to having sex till they're mature enough but having them grow up to understand the anatomy of humans would mean that when it is time for them to start understanding what sex is, it hasn't already been 'fetishised' to them. It would open them up to actually being able to talk openly on the matter and I would bet that it would lead to far less problems all round that teenagers (and even some adults) face when discovering sexual intimacy such as STD's, pregnancy and also the emotional aspect of engaging in such behaviours.
Edit: Oh and things like breastfeeding in public. I find it unbelievable that here is even a debate on being able to feed a baby when it is hungry. Breastfeeding is as natural as it gets and the fact that it offends people because a mother is exposing a breast in public is just an absurd thought to me.
Edit Edit: To clarify, I do not mean that everyone should be fine to be naked all the time. There are situations where you should be clothed and I like wearing clothes too. I don't consider myself a nudist and for people who are nudists, they also understand that it is unreasonable to be naked all the time. However, I'm not going to be offended if I see someone naked in certain situations and if my child should see someone naked on TV or what have you, I'm not going to worry that it's damaged the poor kids mind. Remember when Janet Jackson's tit popped out during the super bowl and the shit storm that followed it? Or Fox News blurring out the breasts on an art piece during the news? A reddtior explained he had someone have a go at him for getting changed in a changing room...! These are some of the kind of things I'm talking about!
Edit3: I'm also aware of the biology of how babies are born. I don't literally think sperm are people that haven't grown yet or it all comes from the penis and don't have an understanding of the importance of the female eggs and uterous. I was just simply trying to make a simple point that the parts of our body people teach kids to be ashamed of were directly involved in making said kids.
Edit4: WOW! Gold! First time Gilded! Thank you kind stranger!
Dont____Panic ยท 789 points ยท Posted at 15:01:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
For sure. I visited a public pool recently and witnessed a 30+ minute line for a stall in the change room.
My friends and I changed in the changeroom and someone commented loudly on it being "inappropriate".
We're in a fucking gender segregated changeroom. I don't give a fuck if you brought your kid, and what the hell is wrong with a 5 year old that's so shy he has to be alone in a stall to change clothes?
SlateHardjaw ยท 1030 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?! Was this the States? The need for privacy has really shot up a lot. When I was five in the 80s, pool changing rooms were wall to wall dad dicks.
porn_philosopher ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 17:38:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop, I can only get so erect
nick_locarno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Krieger
Suchthefool_UK ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 17:00:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. My experience as well. Sometimes in some of the places the showers were just big open rooms so it's just dads washing themselves everywhere.
SlateHardjaw ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 17:55:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it must be a shift coming from having more money for amenities and more privacy growing up. Baby boomers had to share rooms with lots of other siblings and school and gym showers had more modest budgets where you just had to clean a lot of people quickly without the luxury of partitions.
I've heard the same thing is happening in Japan where they think their kids are too shy about public baths. In the 70s, that was the only option for a lot of working class people, but once everyone has indoor baths, more kids get shy and they turn into shy adults.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:01:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an interesting observation but the people who bathed together in the 70's and saw nothing wrong with are now the ones with the children. Although it's not as common these days to have communal showers and such, a lot of these parents are teaching their kids it's wrong to be naked even in a segregated changing room as in /u/Dont____Panic 's case.
SlateHardjaw ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:07:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I think that's probably one other part of the equation. There's a greater awareness of pedophilia and from some Boomer stories, it sounds like pedophiles of the past took advantage of some norms (ex. I remember an older guy telling us about a gym teacher who wouldn't hand out swimsuits until all the kids were lined up naked). So, some of the grown ups now are probably doing more to prevent some of that exploitation as well.
The thing is, your parents never have a talk with you that's like, "Now, that you're grown. It's totally fine to be naked with your mates and other grown ups."
Suchthefool_UK ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's also a really good point. But I feel if kids we're taught more on what is okay and not okay when naked as opposed to just don't, it would allow them to be better identify when abuse it taking place and what to do (ie tell a parent or another other teacher) when they recognise this. Instead, the children of the Boomers are told what they consider to be white lies because they think it will protect them when in actuality, it may be harming them in other ways.
Dont____Panic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:26:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great point. The extremes of "stranger danger" are an example of removing the nose to spite the face. While it may prevent a small percentage of abuse cases, it creates this pervasive low-level mistrust of everyone, all the time, which in a whole, may be more damaging than the original risk.
It's not a popular thing to say that some large sum of small wrongs could possibly add up to a couple of very large wrongs, but at many levels, it must be true.
turkturkelton ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was at a public bath in Japan a stranger asked about my pubic hair. Good times.
SlateHardjaw ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:44:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At public baths, I witnessed a Japanese dad slap his kid's hand when the kid pointed at my Western penis.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 00:37:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well look at it from his perspective, it's got to be pretty weird if all you've ever seen is pixelated Japanese penis your whole life.
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He could see your penis?
panther_heaven ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm curious. Do you have a weird bush?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:59:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, the stranger asked Dr. Turkleton why his genitals were not blurred.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:36:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Suchthefool_UK ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you feel uncomfortable?
Nekotography ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm deeply uncomfortable with it, but I know it's my issue - I'm masculophobic. I don't project that and pretend that my problem should be everyone else's.
YzenDanek ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
We're getting farther and farther away from a time where military service affected the majority of American men, and that has spilled over into all kinds of other contexts, including how private men are around other men.
Men who spent years of their life shitting and showering mid-conversation in front of their platoon don't give a shit about privacy, and they brought that ethic into every institution they were involved in, from Boy Scouts to summer camps to sports teams. I never thought twice about privacy in front of other males from the time I was a kid.
Now we have shower stalls in the men's lockers at the gym. It must suck to be that self conscious.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I have to admit I'm not totally comfortable showering in front of other people. But I'm also sort of in the middle of the issue, because I think it's completely retarded that I can't change in front of people. Seems like it's not a big difference but changing is a few seconds versus a few minutes.
Changing on a bus, in the car, in an alley, or in front of friends shouldn't be a problem. Just don't be in the thick of things. The greatest example is when I was in marching band. I don't want to walk 50 yards to the bathroom just to take off my jeans and put on my uniform pants, especially in front of people who were like my family. How retarded.
thatdude52 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:19:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dad dicks are the biggest
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:06:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is known
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet... I'm a dad!
AK_Happy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:59:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not yours.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yah..... Yah I know...
Tommy2255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or are the biggest dicks more likely to result in women being like "yo, get that all up in here" and therefore children?
pyroSeven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Biggest I've ever had.
JedLeland ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:09:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, they just look that way when they're in your little hand.
TheNumberJ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:44:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The High School I went to was built in 2003... they had individual shower stalls in the gym locker rooms.
before this, I was always used to locker room showers being just a big open tiled room with shower heads poking out of the wall... maybe with a few of them pylon shower heads in the middle of the big room.
Xakuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate that because even as a teenager I didn't want to shower with other teenagers. It gets gay as fuck for absolutely no fucking reason. I don't care about you swinging your junk around but don't fucking touch me, it's not okay out in public, so why the fuck is it okay in a shower room.
M0b1us0ne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, at one summer camp-type-deal I went through, the showers were gang showers. One of the nozzles was broken and was just a metal pipe with a tiny hole sticking out of the wall. Since it was a military base, the water pressure was insane and that shower head was a laser beam. All of the dudes took turns running though it. Super gay and we all looked like we had gotten 40 lashes afterwards.
Xakuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking about the sexual assault variety, ass slapping, dick grabbing, trying to pock their asshole.
Also that's strange, every military barracks I've lived at has had the opposite problem, lack of water pressure >.<
M0b1us0ne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was an Air Force base, so that probably had something to do with it
rustybuckets ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SO many dicks
DrummerBoy2999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I was at the pool the locker room was filled with dicks, old dicks, young dicks, dicks everywhere. It was most likely the place he was in because it was a public pool too.
Oil-and-Strippers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men's change rooms and women's change rooms are different in terms of nudity. Men's change rooms are chock full of dangly scrotum and floppy dicks
nightcrawler84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. In the changing rooms of public pools and gyms, nobody really seems to care. At my school, it's like you're a disgusting barbarian if you go full nude.
jlamb42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sigh Those were the days. Also, dad dicks were huge in the 80's.
Kaique94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad dicks are still huge today.
Trust me.
Ilikebigmacs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah, dad dicks and those weird green mesh bags on hangers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm in a locker room, my dick is coming out. Everyone else can go ahead and go fuck themselves if that's a problem.
BZLuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a teen in the 80's we had mandatory showers after gym class in Jr. High and High School.
The only way you got out of having to take a shower was if you had a cast, or stitches or something about you that couldn't get wet, oh and and a doctor's note.
And these weren't little private stalls either. It was a large tiled room with like 12 floor to ceiling shower poles, each one with 4 shower heads on it, just spraying into the room. You stripped out of your gym clothes, grabbed a bar of soap, hit the pits and parts, rinsed off, dried off and then put on your "street clothes" and went to your next class.
Spartannia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, terrible fucking wallpaper pattern.
Kaique94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself. I would love this shit.
TheBananaKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck.
Here in .au, there are no 'stalls' in the change rooms.
Open showers, a bench in the middle. You're there to change, you change.
wallsarecavingin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was a swimmer and a diver from 1995-2005, and I would ALWAYS just change in front of everyone (along with my team). I still don't care about changing in front of people, but people still will change in bathroom stalls. It's crazy!
Chkouttheview ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And so much bush... Female here
sevenduckies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this was more or less my changing room experience as a kid too, except vulvae/boobs instead of dicks. There was one outlier I remember, though; another girl about my age started panicking and crying because she saw a nude woman in the change room by mistake. At the time I thought it was weird that she cared so much, but now I just feel sort of sad for her because I can't help but wonder what provoked such an emotional reaction.
SlateHardjaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, poor little girl. Maybe she was really sensitive to other people's privacy since she might have been told to be cautious about watching her own.
I kinda think the intergenerational changing room thing is good for perspective and mental health about aging. Even though people are still fairly free in the changing rooms in America, it struck me even more in Japanese baths where every age was on full display. At first, a really old person's body was a surprise, but it eventually sinks in that you'll be there someday and that guy doesn't seem too upset about it. A female friend had the same reaction on a trip and talked about having naked old Japanese women swim up and chat about her Western breasts broke a lot of ice about her own body hang ups and worries.
folderol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:02:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think so. There are still plenty of dad dicks these days. And hell teenagers are posting their privates on the internet so I don't think privacy has become more important.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was before the temporary hippies of the 70s had kids and then became super strict in hopes that they wouldn't do the things they did when they were young.
sineofthetimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Always have that one old guy walking around like he has no place to go.
raj96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They still are imo, I feel perfectly comfortable changing/showering, and never once has it been sexual at my gym
unit49311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And gyms usually got a few geezer dongs
Axwellington88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They still are, some places are just worse than others.
ThachWeave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the states and it was the same in the 90s, and just last year it was pretty much expected at the gym, though it was on campus so that was 99% college students.
asdfmatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well when the government has abolished all other forms of privacy I guess the tendency is to cling onto what little privacy you still can control
Foxfire2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen things change with the rise of the internet ( and the proliferation of internet porn) as well as the proliferation of digital cameras that make it so easy to post nude photos. Places like hot springs and clothing optional swimming areas have gone from people being mostly nude to completely wearing bathing suits.
Barsam37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been to a pool with a stall before? And I'm young. I feel for those American youth, missing out on all those dad dicks.
theShowstealer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, oh my god. Someone gold that man. I'm poor
Kaique94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And now I feel like going to a bath house.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And those are the big mangy ones too.
fifty2imeanfifty4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was definitely the case in the 90s as well. So many dad dicks.
anakaine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've got so many up votes because you're damn well right. Also, because that is precisely what the change rooms are there for.
SlateHardjaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly didn't think one of my top comments would be about dad dicks.
CainRedfield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup in Canada they still are, for better or for worse
isaac9092 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We need privacy because of fucking creeps.
Jive-Turkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the old man dicks in all their sad glory! :D
Ogden-TO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to believe that this was even before the 90s, which as everyone knows was the peak era for dad dick.
M8asonmiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, mental image! Mental image!
Twerkswithwolves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if this necessarily stems from a need for more privacy, but I've noticed more and more guys at my school choosing to pee in stalls rather than in urinals when there are plenty of urinals open. I've always found urinals so much easier so people being uncomfortable using them around other people confuses me.
akohlsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What bothers me is when I'm in the men's change room and someone brings their 4yo daughter in. I'm dropping trou in the right spot yet I'm the inappropriate one? You walked right by the family change room on your way here.
Which_Effect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm from in the states the changing room is a sure place to be greeted with wrinkly old man balls and hairy asses.
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a Jewish community center once and used the pool; oh god I thought I blocked these memories :(
armontrout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noice
frenchtallama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
still is in Canada
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The phrase dad dicks makes me laugh every time I hear it.
machowarrior ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:00:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dad dicks are huge!
Idoontkno ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:11:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you just said still happens, what you you were referring to, not sure where this happened.
youssarian ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooook that was not a visual I needed today.
dam072000 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:10:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity is only awkward if the people in the room make it awkward. Problem is there is always that guy that makes it awkward so it is.
Like in high school we had public showers for football. Freshmen are always sort of nervous about that because they didn't have that in middle school. Being combined with sophomores though that have experienced public showering and just go with it socializes the group quicker. 4 years of public showering and your walking around naked except for the towel over your shoulder having casual conversation. No body gives a shit. It's the norm.
ITiswhatITisforthis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:33:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I don't get it either. I mean a dick is a dick, what's the point of being so god damn scared. My son is 9 and when we shower, we usually take a shower back to back (we do this for efficiency, and so I don't have to set the water at the proper temp twice.) Meaning, as soon as I jump out, he jumps in, and yes we're both naked, but we could give two shits about it. We're MEN!
bobjoeman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:37:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People assume you're a child molester just because you're a dude.
ITiswhatITisforthis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:15:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I guess with all the fucked up shit going on in today's world, it inevitable. One thing I have noticed, the high amount of news stories surrounding FEMALE teachers, boinking their 16 year old school boys. Child molesting isn't just a dude thing.
IllusoryIntelligence ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:37:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a big problem with anglophone culture at the moment, we treat a man being raped by a woman as implying a defect in the man for not wanting it.
ITiswhatITisforthis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:45:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yea, have you seen the comments? "Where was those types of teacher when I was in school..." "Lucky kid..." "I bet all the boys loved going to her class..." So by society's standards, boys are much more vulnerable, because he's damned if he does and he's damned if he don't.
walterpeck1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try being a single guy in a nudist setting. Even in a place where nudity is basically expected, avoid being anywhere near anyone under 18, much less looking at them. I don't mean acting appropriately as you would in a normal public setting, I mean you best pretend those kids do not exist. I'm not complaining, mind you. Just one of those things that comes with the territory.
radome9 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:13:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What fresh hell is this?
Dont____Panic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:19:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The local pool converted one wall of the changeroom into several stalls (like the place you take a shit).
But since they are there, now everyone behaves like they're supposed to use them.
radome9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:21:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is terrible. Here's a subversive idea: get handicap signs and put them on the stalls. Hey presto, taboo against using stalls.
pomporn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:13:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a terrible nightmare where people can take their clothes off in privacy. Nobody should be allowed to hide their naked body from other people
TheDutchTank ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait this isn't normal in the US? The majority is stalls in Dutch swimmingpools and so on
subarctic_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every pool/gym/school locker room I've been to had showers like this and changing areas like this.
radome9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about the US, never seen it in Scandinavia.
TheDutchTank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This
is how it usually is, although more of these.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I got looks in the women's locker room at my gym last week for doing this. Excuse me, I don't want to stumble around a bathroom stall and drop my panties/socks in the toilet. This is a locker room. You are a woman. There's nothing new to see here and none of it should offend you.
riverstar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:02:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember experiencing the opposite. When I was a kid, maybe ten, my mum got a deal on a day membership at a posh leisure club here in the UK and took me along. There were no cubicles and there were me and my mum trying to get changed awkwardly and discreetly whilst these beautiful slim tanned women were just wandering around with their tits out, chatting about where to lunch or whatever...
I was shocked at the time (this totally wasn't how things went down in the local swimming pool) but it made me realise that there are places where this is acceptable and you've just got to go with it. It prepared me for all the gyms and spas with communal changing areas. I'm not brazen about it, but then I don't have the tits to make much of a show.
Dont____Panic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And how is this different? It sounds like the atmosphere was about the same at your local pool, no?
userRL452 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:58:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pro tip, if you need to change into or out of a swimsuit but are in a public area, wrap a towel around your waist with the seam on your side. Reach down in the towel and pull your suit down to about thigh level and then reach under the towel to take to completely off. Do the opposite to put your underwear and pants on.
If you are a girl take the straps off your shoulders and then wrap a towel around your chest. Take your suit off in a similar way to the guys instructions, put your pants on the same way and put a shirt on over the to well before unwrapping it.
Source: I swam competitively for 10 years.
whitey-ofwgkta ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:51:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ahh the "deck change", good times.
(Swam "competitively" for about 9 months )
Dont____Panic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why all the trouble with a towel.
userRL452 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:38:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is known as a "Deck change" because you usually do it on the pool deck and not in the locker room.
This is for when you are truly in public and not in an all male locker room. It's not always cool to show your junk to all the other people at the pool.
jhutchi2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Learned this at camp when I was a kid. It seemed to be completely instinctual for everyone because we all just did it on the first day without being shown. Except one kid, he got butt naked and we all made fun of him because 9 year olds are terrible people.
aguminie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Love me some deck changes!!! Also good for camping.
Phantom_Shadow ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:47:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet I can't go into a changing room without a naked old man wandering around for no obvious reason.
walterpeck1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old men truly don't care. That Oatmeal cartoon was on point about this topic.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because a 5 yr old kid is too old
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meryn Trant is on reddit?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A man is no one
k9centipede ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I spent a summer working at a swim school. The kids (~5yo) would all just bundle around the hallways near the changing rooms. Parents would maybe hold up a towel around them to give a little sense of privacy but other than that.
rachface636 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Because for some fucking reason people tend to think nudity equates to sexuality. I sat around eating chips in a t shirt/underwear watching netflix with my cats yesterday afternoon and no part of that experience made me feel especially aroused. Being naked does not mean a child suddenly learns things about sex they are too young to know.
jacurtis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this a new thing. I had a similar experience at the new gym in town. I went into the locker room (gender separated) and then changed into my workout clothes right next to my locker. I wasn't even making a big deal about it. I was naked all of 15-20 seconds when I removed my boxers, put them away and then put on my compression shorts (guys know why you have to wear those compression shorts...).
Anyways didn't think anything of it and then an employee said to me "we have changing rooms for a reason".
I was actually a bit shocked. Every gym I've ever gone to before you just changed in the locker room, There weren't changing stalls. Everyone was naked. You didn't sit there and gawk. You just changed and then went and worked out. But I went to a pool recently and saw the same thing. When I grew up you changed in an open locker room. But I guess now everyone has to go to changing rooms. Stigmas are changing. It's much ado about nothing if you ask me.
SlateHardjaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I still haven't encountered a separate changing area within a locker room. That just seems bizarre. What gym chain was that?
iwumbo2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What...
Isn't the whole point of a change room to change in it? It's literally in the name.
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow. pool change rooms aren't like that where i have ever lived.
swim1929 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I.... what? Just wrap a towel around your waist and change. I change on the pool deck all the time, and there isn't a problem.
FeverishPuddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
if you change fast enough, I wouldn't even mind seeing your butt for a second or two... we all have butts
plus, it's just a line...
most bathing suits show butts
IAMZEUSALMIGHTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stalls in a changing room? Didn't know that was a thing.
jacktheBOSS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there are changing stalls then they probably don't want you changing in the room.
CaptChilko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does no one know how to get changed under a towel? Don't get me wrong, I don't give a damn who sees my wiener, but it's easy to change under a towel in a way that no one sees more exposed skin than some juicy ankle flesh!
Kaashoed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar experience. I was done swimming during the free sport swim hours. I got into the male dressing room and it was filled with kids so I skipped over to the next one.
This dressing room was empty, 2 elderly men where ontheir way out, so I started changing. I was tired so I took my time. Fairly quickly after me father with a 5 year old boy came in and he started undressing the fruits of his labour.
I was changing and folding my clothes as he felt the need to comment that he was changing the clothes of his 5 year old. I thought nothing of it. Later I realised he was affraid I was some kind of child molester. But my guess iss that he himself was dipping the 5 year olds brown ink.
MizterUltimaman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:31 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THE AUDACITY
nursebad ยท 496 points ยท Posted at 15:57:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"think of the children" is total BS. Kids aren't born ashamed of nudity. They are taught it by people who cannot separate nudity from sex. The people that think that nudity has to lead to an uncontrolled sexual response worry me.
shamelessnameless ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:38:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have laws to screen for the worst offenders and lowest common denominators not the most highest minded of people.
beetman5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:47 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
locks just keep honest people honest.
areyoudancingatall ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:36:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is such a great way to put this. I had an argument once with someone who was convinced all nude bodies are sexual bodies. I sort of used the "think of the children" mindset in reverse, telling him, "Oh, okay, so that must mean when your 5- and 6-year old kids are taking a bath naked, that's a sexual situation, too?" That shut him down reeealll fast.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When i was 10, all nude bodies were sexual bodies to me. Fuck me, i would have loved if everyone was naked. Not sorry that this sounds crude, but i craved to see tits , ass and pussy when i was a kid.
Quickgivemeausername ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:55:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That really comes from a lack of seeing them. I grew up in an area where nude beaches were the norm...believe me seeing that many grannies and grandpas swinging around will shut down puberty real quick.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fuck that then. That feeling of hornyness is something i loved.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. If you saw them everyday, it would lose its luster fast.
Think about how tits are often just hanging out in tribal societies. Literally nobody bats an eye at them. Men, women, children.
Jules- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:10:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the author, but Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land has some amazing statements about forced cultural 'norms' on children, etc. I love the character that gives those lines, Jubal Harshaw.
Though, if you read it, grab the 'unedited' version Heinlein's wife published after his death. It has a forward from her, easy to spot.
nursebad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really can't love Heinlein either, but Stranger in a Strange Land has been on my list for a while so when I do, I'll make sure I get the one with his wifes forwards. Thanks!
StephBGreat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. As a parent, I want my kids to be safe. There are predators out there. I explain the covering of their privates as a way to keep them safe. I don't think adult nudity is wrong, but I guess it's hard to say one thing while others contradict.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:32:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, we all want kids to be safe. But I feel kids are better off knowing what is wrong and what is right when being naked than just making it a strict taboo. Someone else has mentioned this as well and has been responded to. Would be interesting to hear your input too.
StephBGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My kids are all under 5 currently. We're in the "why" phase. Honestly, I don't have an endless supply of child appropriate answers for why can adults do it and why do kids have to cover or why can women see my daughters and men can see my sons. I think it's sad to live in fear, truly, but children's' safety is on my mind all the time. Perhaps there is an age where it can be explained better, but I don't have that experience yet.
jungle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:53:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fear you talk about is greatly exaggerated, and the body shame that you're teaching your kids is certainly harmful.
Quickgivemeausername ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For kids under 5 I don't think it's all that harmful. Explaining the complex shades of grey in morality isn't easy to do for two full adults let alone children who are still mastering the toilet. It's really not like she could never go back and actually talk to them when they hit puberty and further explain that the coach might be looking at them a little to long.
jungle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is hard about telling a kid "nobody except you can touch your pipi"? No need for complex shades of grey at all. It's simple: you don't hide from your kids so they learn that there's nothing shameful to hide, and you teach them that people use clothes when in public by clothing them when in public. No further explanations are needed.
StephBGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's no body shame behind the walls of our home. I'm sorry you feel that way. We cover our privates in public.
narp7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You say it's taught by people who can't separate nudity from sex, but what's wrong with sex? The argument to hide all of that is literally the same argument.
GallifreyanVanilla ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:34:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 5, some guy flashed my friends and I. Their parents FREAKED - they were all hyper religious, to the point where a half second glimpse of a penis was talked about like this guy had held their daughters down and tea bagged them repeatedly. The more conservative the family, the more the girl was told how evil and sinful the act of even seeing a penis was and how scarring it had been for them. It wasn't even a big deal to any of them until their parents went off about it.
folderol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:04:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids also aren't born with the hormones that make them sex crazed teens. Once you start realizing differences and reactions you realize this is just running around naked in the summer feeling good. We all mature at some point and probably shouldn't be walking around showing everyone. When I was 12 I would have had a hard-on showing everywhere I went. Tell me there is something innocent and beautiful about that.
ofcourseimanxious ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:43:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful, no. Innocent, yes. There's nothing wrong with sex or arousal and its not malicious. If you don't care to be nude you don't have to its just that nudity shouldn't be so morally criminalized when its not inherently wrong.
Liam4242 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People still feel uncomfortable letting a 4 year old change in the same room as a 40 year old
Suchthefool_UK ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:35:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure about "still feel uncomfortable". When I was younger at the pool and such it was pretty normal to have kids change and shower naked with the rest. I feel people are becoming more uncomfortable about it now than they were.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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beetman5 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:50:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the practice is kinda harmful, actually. It's the idea behind rape-apology, and the whole "well, what was she wearing?" thing.
The conflation of standalone body parts and sexuality gets girls kicked out of school for daring to wear shorts in 90+ degree weather. That's harmful enough to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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beetman5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:40 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
going back and re-reading all this, I realize that I was ENTIRELY thinking about public breastfeeding, and I don't think I was fully grasping OP's point - being about nudity.
So, my argument (if I really want to call it an argument?) was, like, 100% about public breastfeeding and I'm an idiot. Sorry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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kjata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're comfy, and easy to wear! Why would they be banned?
Quickgivemeausername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because high school girls like to push the limit of what is and isn't appropriate in a school like setting.
possible nsfw
Thatseemsright ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's more along the lines of protecting the children from adult child molesters/monsters.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:13:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Child molesters try to not draw attention to themselves, especially around the children. If you're worried someone around your child might be planing to abuse him/her, I can guarantee it's not the guy chilling out in his birthday suit.
Thatseemsright ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there not a sexual element in it? Even if they try not to draw attention to themselves there would be something that would be rather obvious.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:04:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No there is not necessarily a sexual element to nudity, in fact in most cases of nudity there is no sexual element. Nudists have long since learned to separate nudity from sex.
ZapActions-dower ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In being naked in a changing room? No. I've never been in a private gym that didn't have at least two old naked dudes wandering around. They're not getting off on it, they're just going about their business.
With men at least, it's pretty obvious when they're aroused.
Thatseemsright ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I get that. I just think that there are certain situations where it wouldn't be completely appropriate to do it. And no matter what there will be sick people out there where situations would play in their advantage if everyone was nude which would make it easier to do certain things to people.
ZapActions-dower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:41:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct in that. But I can't help but think that 1) those individuals are far, far more rare than the news would have you believe and 2) that more commonplace and less fetishized nudity would lead to a decrease in that sort of abnormality in future generations.
Thatseemsright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair and I do see your point but I think we have to analyze both sides.
pyro5050 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:16:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the breast feeding thing is an odd argument to have, i personally do not like seeing it, but i will defend their right to feed their child. i only dont like seeing it because for some unknown reason to me, i get really fucking awkward around pregnant persons and tiny people scare me...
but screw me and my insecurities, if i dont like i can leave, that baby cant get fed any other (natural) way
loljetfuel ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this.
fractalfarmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. It's totally fine if my nursing in public makes you feel uncomfortable, that's just part of our collective upbringing and our societal norms. I do my bit by being as discreet as I can without pissing my baby off, you do your bit by not being rude to me.
ManBehavingBadly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:13:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The ones that breastfeed are in most cases not pregnant anymore :-D
pyro5050 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:25:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but have those tiny people...
Nonsenseinabag ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 15:23:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While on a camping trip with some people deep in the woods, one the couples just started shouting "Naked time!" and just dropped all their clothes off in the tent. At first I thought it was weird, but after a few minutes I was like "Wait, why is this supposed to be weird again?" They spent the rest of that weekend sans clothes and nobody cared.
Stoic_stone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:48:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends and I do this all the time on camping trips. Hell, we do it at home too. Who needs bathing suits?
transmogrified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I get home it's no pants time. Our biggest arguments in the summer are about how high the AC gets to go because my SO likes it cold as fuck and I like it warm enough to walk around naked.
His_submissive_slut ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's kind of unsanitary.
FullmentalFiction ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking as someone with a few nudist friends: Towels. Towels everywhere.
Stoic_stone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a towel.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh.
Stoic_stone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, if you're rubbing your ass all over everything, otherwise it's really not all that different.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't you, though?
Stoic_stone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you?
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are careless.
Stoic_stone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've found that there are so many things that could go wrong in life that if you worry about everything you're never going to have any fun
His_submissive_slut ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't find peoples' gross bodies fun, is my point. I am glad that public nudity isn't a thing.
Stoic_stone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I see the disconnect. All my friends are hot
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their shed pubes, ball/ass sweat, dead skin, oil, and vaginal drippings aren't, though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was anyone there single?
Nonsenseinabag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
About half of us, including me. Surprisingly there wasn't any sexual tension, as after the first few seconds of "OMG, BOOBS!" you just start thinking of it like you would a funny t-shirt or brightly colored vest.
robikini ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Think of the bug bites!
clickeddaisy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:00:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This so much, here in finland some places still has saunas for both genders and it is perfectly acceptable to be naked there, society today really needs to lighten up and just go balls to the walls
TheCanadianDoctor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:22:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I remember reading an article about people addicted to pornography and one of the "symptoms" is non sexualization of the human body.
It even went on to explain that if you see someone naked and you don't want to have sex with them, you probably have been over expose.
My problem is that I know for myself I can think of 3 reasons not wanting to have sex with them.
1) they are related/really close with them and so I don't want to see that
2) I may not be attracted to the person personally so I don't want to have sex with them
3) you can admire the human form. Like if someone is incredibly fit or attractive, you can admire their body (I am taking about a photo or statue. You can do it in person but they might be offered if you walk up to someone and ask to see them naked).
The article wasn't satire either. I thought it was, checked out the site and they took themselves seriously.
Edit: so after a quick search I can not find the article I remember, but there are many others that are on the topic. These clarify the extreme action people have taken.
I believe that, in hindsight, the article was poorly written or the writer was not fully informed.
xdert ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:51:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a logical fallacy. If A entails B it does not mean that B entails A.
Like "every cat has four legs", does not mean that every for legged creature is a cat.
So in other words, if addiction to pornography means you think about the human body non sexually it does not mean that if you think about the human body non sexually you are addicted to pornography. It could have many other reasons, like not being a prudent American for example.
TheCanadianDoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, classic case if correlation does not equal causation.
Tattered_Colours ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think maybe they just weren't entirely clear what they meant. They were probably trying to say that you're not aroused by real life situations that you'd otherwise be aroused by in pornography.
TheCanadianDoctor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point. I poked around a bit for it online and didn't find that article,though other articles did make that clarification.
His_submissive_slut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's that if you see someone you'd normally be attracted to.
Lilikoi_P ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:23:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was also going to comment "breast feeding". I honestly don't even understand the rational behind why this natural activity is deemed "socially unacceptable".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lilikoi_P ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, it's an issue of much contention...and I live in Eugene, OR! So many hippies here. But it's not a minority who take issue, it's a real and on-going discussion in my community. I'm glad to hear it's not the same in other areas.
DaveSW777 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:12:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Clothing should be for protection, sanitation, and fashion. Not to protect other people's bullshit ideas of modesty equating morality.
alpinefroggy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:30:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ermagerd a boob in our violent movie! Take it out it's rated R if it is!
Todd_the_Wraith ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 15:41:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My main argument to this is that nudity is just unsanitary. I'm sorry, but I don't want to sit my balls on a chair that someone else's balls were sitting on.
Also, while the human body can be a beautiful thing, it can also be an absolutely disgusting thing. There are a lot of things you don't want to see being covered up by clothing.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:50:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yes, my argument isn't that people should be naked all the time. More that being naked isn't offensive and that seeing someone naked shouldn't offend you either. Being unhygienic that will effect someone else however, is offensive.
prozacgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ha, imagine if the cultural norm wasn't to cover up our bodies, but demand they be hygenic at all times. Okay maybe the last bit was already a thing, but damn if some people don't just try to trap it in their clothes...
His_submissive_slut ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, most people's bodies are pretty offensive.
BoltonSauce ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:33:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have been to a lot of outdoor-type festivals of mostly the very small sort where a solid third of people are naked all day and even more at night. The general attitude is that you bring something like a towel to sit on, so no one has to have indirect contact with your junk.
walterpeck1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't you read your Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? Always bring your towel.
ITalkToTheWind ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:39:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's so unsanitary about balls? Seems like it's just an aversion caused by a culture of being ashamed about nudity and homosexuality.
Todd_the_Wraith ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I have no idea if the previous balls were clean or crusted with old semen.
Atomheartmother90 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:53:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone's hands can be just as or dirtier than their balls but I bet you're not nearly as quick to be grossed out. Your balls don't go in or near your mouth and your hands do
rossisdead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a lot easier to wash your hands than wash your balls when you're on the go.
Valiade ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:26:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you're naked
namesflory ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:28:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know how when you sit in a chair and you move around your butthole spreads a little. Do you really want to live in a world like that with bare buttholes slightly spreading on all the chairs you sit on. People smell bad enough with their clothes on...
ITalkToTheWind ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:48:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we can make bidets more popular and progress beyond using dry paper? Also: Towels
justanotherreddituse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't always unsanitary.
At the beach, in / after the hottub, etc it's not unsanitary. I think the main thing is how recently the person has been in water.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
foreverinLOL ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:33:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I wrote the same thing.. well I completely agree with what you wrote.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this is only a good thing. I honestly believe the sooner people understand that the human body isn't something to be offended about, the sooner the world becomes that much more of a better, more compassionate and understanding place.
foreverinLOL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely. But also everyone should be informed why for example in formal situations that is not appropriate. I don't mind nudity, but it's not always appropriate and that has nothing to do with being ashamed of your body. The same as I can't come to work in my tracksuit, it wouldn't be ok to be naked at my job, even if nudity would be accepted. But it shouldn't have to be a big deal elsewhere.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yes of course. I'm not saying that everyone should become a naturist here but dressing well for work and other such examples is a sign of respect more than anything (though I do feel well boss wearing my suit).
Sarahthelizard ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:38:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think as long it's not sexual in nature, I have no problem with it.
PRJCTZ3R0 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:44:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar account: People having issues beeing seen in underwear but are perfectly fine to go to public pools, lakes, beaches in swim wear. It's basically the same, what the fuck is the problem?
quetzalKOTL ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:11:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Consent. When you're wearing swim wear, you know that you're going to be seen and you're okay with it. When you're in your underwear and someone walks in (even if it's accidental) it's okay to be uncomfortable, because you didn't expect or want to be seen quasi naked.
I don't think it's acceptable to fly off the handle, especially if it's an accident, but I think it's fine to feel embarrassed. Although come to think of it, personally it doesn't bother me.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, men's underwear is a little different unless they're wearing speedos or something.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As the child of part-time nudists who has had to deal with shit for it all my life, thank you so much for saying this. What actually harms children is telling them that nudity, their own an that of others, is something to fear and be disgusted by. If you don't brainwash them with that they won't have any negative feeling towards being around nude people.
freckle_juice_mama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the reasons I talked with my husband about how we wanted to raise our kids before I got pregnant. We both agreed that we were cool with bathing with them in the nude regardless of their gender. We have two boys now and although my nearly five year old is starting to get shy about his own nudity, and making jokes like "Mommy, I can see your butt cheeks! giggle" we're still letting them see us. I want them to know that being naked doesn't have to be sexual.
That being said, we never "cross the line" in front of the kids and we aren't grabby with each other when the boys can see us, whether naked or clothed. There are things that are considered private, though my oldest who poops with the door open, wanting to talk to you, might disagree with that as well.
Green_Eyed_Crow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just visited a bathhouse in Germany, and the saunas were in the nude only section. It was weird at first but only for like 2 minutes. Then it felt pretty liberating. Just me sitting in a room sweating with naked people. I wish we had them here now.
xdert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a European the American concept of "nudity is offensive" completely baffles me. You often see naked people at public beaches, a mixed nude sauna is a normal place where you can take your kids to and no one ever would say anything about breastfeeding in public. In fact it would be considered rude to complain about it.
Tattered_Colours ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been an American in Europe for the past week and I've seen the topless women on beaches but nowhere else. Would it be just as acceptable if they were walking around town topless?
xdert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not in a restaurant by I have seen topless women in parks and actually in crowded pedestrian areas in the city, but this was not casually strolling around but performing art or something like that.
Exhibit A: naked women dropping eggs from her vagina in Cologne. I am pretty sure this would not fly in America.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
ProbablyDefinitely an idea to mark this NSFW!xdert ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who in his right mind expects a SFW after that video description?
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone who thinks that something like "this surely wouldn't show it all, would they?" It's what I thought at least. Especially as it's on youtube which can be strict around nudity.
Tattered_Colours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was she inserting the eggs behind a curtain for modesty or was that part of the performance?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How did blood get into those eggs?!
ecdomain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree. I have no problem with my son seeing someone nude in a movie. I don't want him seeing graphic sex scenes, but straight nudity should not be considered dirty or sinful. I'd much rather have him see some naked people than a bunch of violence.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hate the "it's natural" argument. That's stupid. It doesn't mean it's not disgusting. Imagine if I just took my dick out and walked around in public. Hey, it's natural, you can't get mad. You know what? To hell with clothes. I'll just walk around naked flopping my dick around while I burp and fart all day long. Hey, it's natural!
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's exactly our point. It is natural, and you should be able to walk around with your dick out without feeling ashamed. The fact that you think it's so obvious that that would be wrong is what's sad here.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:32:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:37:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's got nothing to do with being humble, and everything to do with this idiotic notion that the human body is something to fear and be ashamed of.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:08:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Let some random guy go flop his dick on your forehead and try to tell me you'll be totally calm. Hey, it's natural and normal so there's no reason to get mad!
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:13:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's sexual assault. This is exactly what I'm talking about, you can't even differentiate between relaxed nudity and sexual assault. That's what's so sad.
BlakeSteel ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're the only one on this thread above the age of twelve. "Everyone for the past 5000 years was so stupid until my genius came into this world." There are so many reasons why we wear clothes. It's the very first thing a civilization does. Humans are animals, but what makes us human is striving to be better than simple beasts.
You know what my favorite part about clothing is? I'm 33 years old and still get super excited when a woman takes off her shirt. It's the only thing us older guys have left. Clothes improve sexuality, not the other way around.
Try watching TV in countries like Italy or Brazil. Almost every show on every channel is half naked hot chicks doing and saying the most unintelligent and shallow things you can imagine. It's brain death.
walterpeck1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: nudists have brain death. Protip, just because you can't separate sexuality from nudity doesn't make you enlightened.
It is entirely situational. I'm not going to pop a boner on the beach because I see tanned asses everywhere. But if I'm with a woman and she's undressing, for me, in private... it's full steam ahead.
You can celebrate and appreciate the human body but also be aroused by it in separate situations. That is not brain death, it is quite the opposite.
BlakeSteel ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I said most Italian and and Brazilian TV shows are brain death, not nudity. Sorry if it went over your head. I forget how many children are on this site.
lets_trade_pikmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that is the age when a lot of boys start watching it on their own anyway
cactuscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you start off in the ovaries as well as the penis. But yeah, I completely agree. I'm not going to show my daughter porn but I'm not going to have a breakdown when she inevitably sees some nudity. I do not want her to be ashamed of her body.
triplemeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The U.S.'s views on nudity and violence in particular are ass-backwards in my opinion. I read a review about grand theft auto complaining about the nudity. This is a game where you can beat someone up for money, hijack their car and run them over for it, gun down masses in the street, but NUDITY was the issue here.
A body is a body. Everyone's got one. Everyone's most likely seen the goods they haven't got. Why is it no big deal to see heads burst open like watermelons on t.v., but the moment a nipple slips it's big freaking news?? Openly sexual things are one thing, but simple nudity in and of itself is a stigma I don't understand.
Like you said, things like breastfeeding shouldn't be a debate. It's a breast. Especially when you consider things we don't find offensive (e.g. aforementioned violence), I don't see why feeding your child is one of the things we do find offensive.
Proseedcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in complete agreement with your principles. I think you're absolutely right that there's nothing wrong or offensive about the human body. I also agree that breastfeeding in public shouldn't even be a controversy; of course it's fine.
On the other hand, I've been thinking recently that there is a positive purpose for the embarrassment people often feel about their bodies. I work with children, and while I have carefully cultivated a Teflon-coated immunity to embarrassment myself (because if things have got to the point where you have to talk to a male teacher about your periods or toilet troubles, the last thing you need is for him to be getting all freaked out about it), I'm very careful to tiptoe around the kids' own sense of embarrassment about their bodies and avoid doing or saying anything to make them feel uncomfortable if there's any way it can be avoided.
Because, the thing is, imagine the reverse: a man who insists you talk openly to him about what's under your clothes, who asks you personal questions, who won't get out of the room when you want to get changed. You'd very quickly (and correctly) get the feeling he was a creepy person, and you would try to avoid being alone with him. In other words, you've withdrawn your trust from a person who is very likely not trustworthy. But the thing that unites all those situations in which the man's untrustworthiness first manifested itself is that they only came about because you were embarrassed about your body and wanted to keep it private. So maybe when we teach kids to be embarrassed about nudity and bodily functions, we're actually teaching them something that will help them protect themselves.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh totally. There are quite clearly boundaries when it comes to being naked. But these boundaries are of personal comfort levels. Some people don't mind people watching them change and some do. However, teaching children that you should be ashamed to be naked by vilifying people who do (in a non sexual way) can be protective sure but it can also be damaging.
Proseedcake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I think I'd agree with you completely there. Another thing that gets me exasperated is that there's this whole hysteria about which bathroom transgender people should go to. And those of us who live in countries that have unsegregated public bathrooms and they work just fine - because you're in a cubicle alone any time you're actually doing something more private than washing your hands anyway - are just going Oh my god who CARES?
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. The transgender thing baffles me too. I just don't get it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. But remember that everyone is different. Some people are comfortable with nudity, some just aren't. So don't be an asshole to people who aren't comfortable with it, as long as they aren't affecting you.
ThatsSavageAF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't wanna see an old man's crusty balls if I don't have to.
JestaKilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw porn (well, Playboy at least) as a 10-year-old, and I came out pretty okay.
StSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came to write this. I'd stroll around with my cock out all the time if people did not find it "inappropriate".
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm cool with nudity but I also want the right not to have to look at your naked body. I don't really have any desire to hit a nudist beach/colony because I don't want to see a big fat sweaty guy covered in hair walking around with his dong out. Most of us don't but we think it's OK as long as the person is attractive? That's sort of hypocritical. Hey, I'd let my kids see some nudity but that doesn't mean I just have to accept all of it and that if I don't somehow there is something wrong with me or that I'm a prude.
darkboyutz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a little kid my dad used to take me in the winter to a public hot bath where was also a sauna. There everyone, I mean everyone were naked. There were dicks 2cm away from each other and nobody gave a shit.
I was only 7 years old so I didn't care at all.
abcde123987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"started in the penis"
This is OT but why do you identify the sperm as where they "started" when 50% of that person's genetics (plus other stuff, mitochondria etc) was in the egg? It's not a big deal, I'm just baffled by how prevalent this anthropomorphism of sperm is. It's not like the sperm is the person and then gets into the uterus all by itself and develops there. Why don't people identify with the egg, which actually contributes more to the developing fetus?
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Because my example in this case is of nudity, I mean technically the sperm started in the testes but I was just making a quick point. I get what you're saying and I understand the biology of how a baby is made but in relation to my point, If I saw someone nude at a beach and their uterus was on show, I'd probably call an ambulance.
Edit: Little addition.
Tattered_Colours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was just a way of including all the sex organs, I doubt he meant to imply that sperm are human.
abcde123987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But everybody says that. "I was the fastest sperm" etc etc. It's so prevalent and it baffles me.
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
um....
a_jill_sandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like people who have a problem with it mostly have never actually seen someone do it. It's generally quite discreet even without a cover - the baby's head covers pretty much everything.
Most of the time you'd have to actively look out for a woman breastfeeding. If it bothers someone, they can try minding their own business.
Tattered_Colours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I agree with you initially, I don't think I'd be okay with my girlfriend being naked in public, and I know she feels the same for me. I don't want her to be in anyone else's spank bank.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with it more than its just kind of gross. Same reason we use a restroom to poop. It looks gross and it smells. No one else wants to see that.
butthemsharksdoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, myself, am fine with women getting their breasts out on public.
ClockworkPepsi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a slightly-related note, I never understood why we try so damn hard to hide anything about sex from children (at least, here in the U.S., but I would assume this is common on a global scale). I'm not saying little kids should be taught how to reproduce, but if that's the one reason everyone has to pretend sex or the like doesn't exist around their children, quite frankly, I don't buy it. Can someone explain this to me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was this lady from somewhere outside of the United States. She asked me in we had a feeding room. I was like uh?? So I showed her the bathroom. I felt ashamed even if I had nothing to do with this..
PolloLocooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Different to public believes, sexuality actually starts with birth. It is a part of being a human just as anything else is. Boys as young as one year old can get an errection and for young kids it is totally normal to touch their genitalia. They often find out quickly that it feels good to rub there too at which point parents like to step in and tell them that it is something you don't do.
HYPHYBRO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not as bad in Europe
TreChomes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea but when I haven't managed my pubefro I don't need everyone knowing I have the Amazon jungle underneath my swimsuit.
isu1857 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From a medical and humanistic perspective, breastfeeding is one of the best ways to ensure that a baby grows properly. There are specific health benefits from breast feeding yet it's something that the public can't handle.
I'm sorry if you think that I should sit in a fucking nasty ass public bathroom to feed my child. I couldn't see you doing the same thing for your own eating because that's what's going on... Eating. You have to eat to live, and babies can't choose from 154 different restaurants in the area. They have two choices: breastmilk or formula. That's it!
Thesarusaurusrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know that girls peed out of their vagina until I was 17. I thought they peed out of the butt.
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get out... Not sure if you're lying or not but I've got another revelation for you if not. They don't pee out of their vaginas. They have a urethra just above it.
Thesarusaurusrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly is true. Crazy thing is I had had sex before this point in my life. My friends really enjoyed laughing before telling me how it works.
WasabiPeas2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it either. It's just a body. People will allow their children to play horrendously violent video games, but a woman breastfeeding is "gross"? Seriously, it's just a breast.
sluuuurp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL babies start out in the penis.
iheartnickleback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is one of those easily-observable differences in culture, and in outcome, between the US and the "West" - kids start getting curious about their bodies hella early, whether consciously or not, and in those societies where the human body is normalized and they're allowed to access that knowledge, kids tend to develop much healthier perceptions of their own bodies, and those of the opposite gender, and later in life have a more informed sexual appetite as well, whereas raising a kid with the idea that his/her body is something to be ashamed of, and that genitalia and breasts are somehow taboo and off-limits leaves them, in many cases, clueless about the most basic anatomic facts, and will fuck with their sexual development once they get into their teens and stuff starts happening..
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if we saw more naked people growing up, and understood the human body more as children- there wouldn't be such weird unrealistic fetishes floating around.
MetaLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So is taking a shit
Suchthefool_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A woman breastfeeding in public doesn't harm anyone. Taking a shit in public does as it's unhygienic. That's the difference here.
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure the argument is because America started as a country of prudes, and is currently a country of insanely fat fucks. Used to be God would get pissed off when you get naked, now it's just everybody within sight.
theenigma31680 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, and I'm going to admit something. Breastfeeding in public makes me a bit uncomfortable. But not enough to tell her to stop or use the restroom. It's more along the lines of being able to see the breast of a woman that is not my wife.
I'm sure though, if public nudity was allowable, like you said, this would probably be nothing major and that uncomfortableness would go away.
Also, women are allowed to walk topless in NYC, but cannot engage in commerce while topless. Engaging in commerce while topless is illegal.
intherorrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tl;dr: People should be able to be naked in many situations when it does not matter otherwise, and it should not be any big deal.
wildmaypop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to scroll waaay too far down to see nudity mentioned. I want to give you so many upvotes, this topic is probably the most important to me, in this context at least. I want to change my clothes in my car, or sunbathe in front of my patio window, or lay on my trampoline in my on fenced in backyard without getting put on a list. Or go swimming at a beach in the nude, the biggest complaint I always hear towards that is that it would be cool if you didn't have to see fat old men, which is bullshit, I don't care what the other nude beach goers look like, and neither should anyone else.
woodchopperak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it so strange that little kids see sex? How many small children are exposed to violence in their tv shows? Why is sex so corrupting? I'd rather my child see's what intercourse is rather than someone getting killed.
kalieco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree!! Nakedness should not be shamed (within the appropriate context, of course). My mother was totally fine to be naked and shower around me as a kid, which taught me a lot about what a real woman looks like (not says real women are fat or skinny- but real woman have bumps and curves and spots and whatnot). If kids aren't "allowed" to be exposed to the natural human body, then guess what, they're still going to see most, if not all of it, in the media anyways, and it's going to be airbrushed and give them a very warped sense of what is normal. The human body and all of its imperfections are beautiful!
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who is way to self-conscious to ever be seen by anyone while not wearing a shirt, I often find myself stopping to look at people with worse bodies than mine and thinking "Hmm, I don't mind that being a thing..." but still.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, sorry, human bodies are gross.
powerchicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to break it to you, but I'd guess most 10 year olds today have seen porn before. Whether they fully understand it or not, they've definitely seen it.
cheezymau5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i had to drive my two coworkers back to one of their houses one night bc they needed to change to go to a party (which i was driving them to) and she told me instead of waiting in the car to come in and hang in her room. so one of them went to shower and it was me and (lets call her Nicole) in her room. as (the other one, lets call her Alexa) was in the shower, Nicole started undressing in her room while i was sitting on her bed on my phone. when i looked up she was butt ass naked in front of me and did not care one bit. like, were pretty good friends/coworkers, we go to school together and ive known her since elementary school but were not INSANELY close, just school friends and i was LOSING MY MIND. and let me tell ya, her body is amazing but i didn't know what to say/do so she just continued to change like it was nothing. i'm incredibly comfortable with my body but i never wouldve thought a GIRL would have no problem with it. turns out, she's insanely chill about it (which is awesome)
inspirationstation ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 21:31:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not voting for one of the two major parties in the United States
TheKrakenCometh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:06:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always like the flawless logic as to why people don't do it: "we need more than two political parties, but it will never happen because no one will ever vote for them."
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:18:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, it's the nature of politics for there to be only 2 parties. Until we get a different voting system that's the way it'll be. You can vote for them to make a statement though and to show your support.
Catch22ismybible ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We tried it in the UK. The Liberal Democrat party took decades to get strong enough that we had 3 parties and we needed a coalition to form a majority government. After they formed a coalition of course they had to compromise and they couldn't deliver everything they promised before the election. Now everyone hates them because they're liars and sell-outs. There's no way they're going to be in government again any time soon.
Prometheus720 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your system still isn't really designed for 3 or more parties, because you have First Past the Post voting where a plurality of votes wins. You need runoff voting (the worst parties are kicked out of the running and those votes recast elsewhere until a majority is reached) or MMP.
Catch22ismybible ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We definitely need a new system. I'd like a system which encourages parties to stick to their principles rather than making calculations and chasing the undecided voters and we need governments who most of the electorate actually voted for.
Prometheus720 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
America faces the same problem. I bet that if we had as many serious parties as you do, we'd probably notice similar results. Things are hidden, though, because we really only have the two.
You guys have like, what 6? Lib dems, conservative, labor, UKIP, Green, and SNP? Am I forgetting any?
And of course, from what I understand, SNP kicked ass in its own sphere of relevancy. Not nearly as powerful nationally as the conservative party, but within Scotland it's a different story, I'm told. The closest thing to a "third party geography" in America is New Hampshire's Free State Project, which is basically a bunch of libertarians and anarchists trying to gather all in one place and make it more suitable for their beliefs.
Catch22ismybible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You got the ones which matter this time round. I think it took a huge amount of effort to get a lot of major parties but then it creates a skew effect because there are more left wing parties than right wing so the left wing ones (green, lib dem, snp, labour) are stealing each other's votes.
The SNP used to campaign for proportional representation but now they've got 50% of the vote in Scotland but have 56 out of 59 seats. I just checked and they still support that policy so kudos to them. I think I'm beginning to agree with them on that. I can't see an alternative.
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It sort of makes sense that there would be more liberals. Conservative parties are generally "parties of no." They want to go back to the past or hold the status quo on most things.
There is only one past, and only one status quo. But there are an infinite number of possible futures. And an infinite number of progressive parties.
I'm an anarchist so I don't really think that even MMP will make your government work for you. I do think its a hell of a lot better than the (intentional) trainwreck of your last election or America's last presidential election.
ranjeezy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prisoner's dilemma
FullmentalFiction ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:46:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off, I'll vote for Stephen Colbert for as long as I deem the real candidates unworthy!
Geaux12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you. It's still frustrating to think about a Nader-less world, though.
Are both major parties the same? Yes. Would Gore have been another Bush? Well...
SilverbackRibs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate is always like "dude, voting for a third party usually only hurts the GOP. So its stupid to just throw a vote to the democrats."
Dude, if I wanted the fucking GOP to win, I'd vote for them. How difficult is that to understand.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with it- they are still not gonna win (yet).
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same goes for not voting for one of the two main parties in Australia.
Vote for the Greens, the Pirate Party, or the Sex Party. IDGAF.
Labor and (especially) Liberal are stupid.
zooropa93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to see reform to the voting system in the U.S. and change it to something like the Approval Method. I feel like with this voting system, people wouldn't be afraid to vote for Independent parties.
Also, don't get me started on the Electoral College
jacktheBOSS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:37:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I respect your opinion, but I disagree, and I'm independent. Unless it's a more local position where a third party or independent candidate can win, voting third party fucks up the system and does more harm than good. We need some kind of preferential voting system absolutely, but it has to be from the inside.
Fearltself ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will also add not voting at all. I hate when people that say I shouldn't complain if I don't vote. Mathematically it's astronomical odds that my vote will determine the outcome of an election. And, if by some miracle I have the deciding vote, the person that I voted for can break every single promise they made and there's nothing I can do about it.
Also, I can spend hours and hours going over candidates and their platforms. And then some idiot can drop a ballot for someone because they liked the candidates haircut. Voting is just not worth the time or the effort.
adarcone214 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:02:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not writing "Thank you letters" but saying "thank you" in person!
endospire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realise this was a thing until a couple of weeks ago. My best friends brother in law came to his birthday bbq and later that afternoon he got a text from his Wife's parents saying that Bro in law and his fiancee were offended that there was no 'Thank you for coming' text (despite having been thanked repeatedly at the BBQ).
I don't know why they feel the need to be validated in writing, just seems petty
adarcone214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I AGREE!!! It is one thing to thank someone in person, because it is so much more personal and you are able to see things that cannot be expressed in writing. It is absolutely silly that some people refuse to accept a "thank you" in any other from, except writing. In my honest opinion, it's less personal and more distant. It should only be okay to thank someone in writing, if you got something from them, and they're miles away and cannot be personally thanked in a reasonable time.
Shallox ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going out in public looking like you just woke up or even like a vagabond. I do this alot and make a fair bit of cash at my 9 to 5 in IT. I don't see why there has to be a whole stigma around the way people look... if it's practical put it on.... it's that simple ay.
Goem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From what I've heard most, its some bullshit akiin to "if you don't care how you look you don't care about yourself. So why should other people"
FoolishChemist ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:48:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the same fork, spoon, knife for all the courses at a restaurant. I never understood the stupidity of using different forks for each plate of food.
SilverLoonie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why have one, we want to seem rich let's have six bone China plates and silver knives
pselie4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dishwashers have a strong union.
LittleSandor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. But I think part of it is that each type of fork or knife is specifically suited to different types of food. Personally I've never found a normal sized fork to be lacking, but I suppose a smaller one might be useful for fruit or fish while a bigger one might be better for steak. But really, the difference isn't that great. It isn't like using different sized tools or paintbrushes for different jobs, a fork is a fork is a fork.
I__Just__Wanna__Help ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crying.
Especially as a man.
People seem to think that a man crying is a sign of a terribly weak man.
I see it as a sign that someone is so terribly bad off, even if just for a short time, that they can't contain it.
People get sad, and people should be allowed to show it. I don't understand why people can't fucking cry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with it, but sometimes loud crying can be incredibly annoying. If you must cry, try to keep it quiet.
IranianGenius ยท 729 points ยท Posted at 15:06:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Avoiding small talk. I'd rather actually say nothing, rather than physically say something with no meaning.
NativeMonday ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 16:59:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember that your silence might be just as disturbing or intrusive to them as their small talk. Not saying that it's right they feel that way, but some find tacit dismission to be more of a "fuck you" than if you were to be acknowledged by someone and then literally respond back with "fuck you".
Leftieswillrule ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:10:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well silence isn't necessarily dismissal. I have a friend who can sit with someone for hours smiling away, having a blast, only speaking when spoken to or if he has something to talk about. He's awesome to hang out with because there's no pressure to keep conversation going. I know he isn't dismissing me because he responds when I speak, but there's very little forced conversation.
katiethered ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:03:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is with your friend, you know how he feels about you. Small talk is generally used when you're with people you don't know as well as your close friends. If you're at some mandatory fun party with clients and just stand there silently, you're being a lot more rude than about people who discuss the local sports teams and the unseasonably hot weather.
Leftieswillrule ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:05:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, if you and I don't know each other and we're sitting at a party together and I don't say a word to you, that is not the same as me insulting you.
katiethered ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:11:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say insulting, I said being rude. And if we are at a party sitting next to each other and I greet you and make some small talk, then you just stare back at me because you think small talk is dumb- sorry, but that's rude.
Leftieswillrule ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:15:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mean ignoring a person, but straight up not talking to someone who is near you but isn't speaking you to isn't dismissing them, nor is it rude. If you say something I'll respond, but the original comment is about people who don't want to start bullshit conversations to stave off any sense of uncomfortable silence.
katiethered ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I'd mostly agree with you. I'd only contend (and this is super nitpicky) that it's social situation dependent at that point. If your company is hosting a social for clients, it could be seen as a dismissal if you don't talk to anyone or selectively talk to people, as you are the host. If you're just at a party with friends and your wider social circle - silence all you want.
Thyminecraft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would be me if it weren't for the fact that some of my friends constantly put pressure on me to talk about things that I have nothing to say about.
Leftieswillrule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:19:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Thyminecraft, what do you think of the Dallas Mavericks"
"Couldn't give a shit if they were literally laxatives"
"Okay thanks Thyminecraft"
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but the small talker made an assumption, someone who doesnt like small talk doesnt have to pretend to conserve their feelings
JonBanes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's less about feelings and more about the signal being sent. When someone refuses to engage in small talk there is a clear signal that that person does not want to speak.
It very well could be that they just don't want to speak about things they don't deem 'important', but there is no way someone could come to that conclusion with the given information which is: 'I attempted conversation and was shut down.'
There is no offense taken, but there is a miscommunication and the result is the interaction shutting down. Instead of the conversation moving past the small talk, the conversation is now over before it began.
There is a reason that in telecommunications there is a thing called Handshaking that works in a similar manner to plesantries, small talk, or a real handshake. There is a small number of information packets sent back and forth so that the parameters of the conversation are set. It doesn't really matter what kind of content is in those packets, what matters is the manner in which they are sent and that they are sent.
Refusing small talk is sending the message that you desire no further communication because the contentless initiation protocol has been refused and one should always be aware of the message they are projecting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that. As someone who can be very outgoing but is also introverted (there is a finite amount of energy I have for socializing before I need to recharge), I understand that signals are important. I guess I wouldn't be so quick to take offense when someone isn't receptive now that I've felt that precious energy draining away while I still needed to function in a social setting.
Yes, it doesn't feel great to get shut down. It can even sting a little, but just take a step back to realize that the person you're speaking to isn't on that wavelength right now and that's okay. Give them some space. Maybe throw them a funny joke now and then. Introverts seem to appreciate a slower, steady rhythm of communication than a fast, dedicated dance. Personally I think it feels good to see them light up when they feel recognized as the person they are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That or "the guy who doesn't talk, ever, is awkward and not very interesting/ uncomfortable to be around"
CultureVulture629 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those people can fuck off.
TheRealKillYourself ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence being intrusive? Anyone who considers this to be the case is farfetched out of their retarded mind.
YzenDanek ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Small talk is like an opening in chess. No, there are no bold and amazing moves that you can reasonably open with, but you can immediately influence what kind of a game it's going to be by your choices.
schizokid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Openings in chess lead to an interesting game, asking someone how they enjoy the weather,or how another persons health is in no way interesting.
GaveYourMomAIDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking someone how they enjoy the weather may not be interesting itself, but it can lead to more interesting conversations. That's what /u/YzenDanek was getting at. The first or second move in a chess game is very rarely interesting, but it leads to an interesting game. The small talk about the weather or a persons health may not be interesting, but it can lead to an interesting conversation.
MalenkyTurtleHerpes ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:05:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the same but small talk is how you lead to meaningful conversation and develop new relationships. I just force myself.
TheJulian ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:51:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Hi. How are you. Fine thanks, You? Pretty good. None of that much anything as far as content goes but the ritual itself demonstrates an acknowledgement of one another and implies about 20 other things just by your willingness to act it out.
Bachaddict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As mentioned further up the thread, making small talk allows a whole lot of nonverbal communication to take place.
muddlet ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:57:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
small talk does have meaning. it's basically code for "i know how this socialising thing works. i know how to make you feel just that little bit more happy and cared about. i'm a pretty great guy, you can feel free to go into deeper stuff with me in the future"
WhatWasWhatAbout ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:06:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I view it more like pinging a computer. It communicates "hey! I'm functioning and willing to communicate!"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:00:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exactly, a bunch of children in here dont know how to be social.
quzox ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:49:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd prefer it if people went straight in with big talk. Like 2 people are in a lift and someone says:
"Is time just a figment of our imagination?"
or
"How can human beings live together in perfect harmony?"
or
"How can we know if the universe is finite?"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:59:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it takes a lot of man power and commitment to have a meaningful conversation. Sometime people just wanna say small talk stuff.
Me: "Yooooo did you just see that rabbit wank off that goat dude???"
Said Dude:"Dude what the fuck, I was watching the Queen tell off a builder for mixing the cement wrong."
quzox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, you can do a cheap, dumb response to these questions and that's totally OK too.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the plot of true detective is getting more and more convoluted
DeineBlaueAugen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:35:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should move to Germany.
Wasteland_Mohawk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:27:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. The worst is when people at work say the same unfunny line whenever they see you at the start or end of the day without a shed of effort at humour.
"Don't worry it'll soon be Monday."
Cue polite laugh/equally unfunny response
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My coworkers always have to mention something about Monday, or Friday, or hump day, or have a new "wacky" way of greeting people.
Novaer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My coworkers do this. But we're all pretty chill about it and whenever somebody makes a comment like that we're just like "UGH FUCKING UGH GO DIE"
Managers do it too. It's fun.
Disimpaction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It all has meaning.
EyeronOre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is why my hair is so fucking long, I don't want to endure 15 minutes of small talk with a barber.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This gets me into trouble at my office, but really my attitude is none of us care about if someone is having a good morning or not so let's just adopt a sense of urban solitude and work in peace.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the links to the music earlier x
xsparr0w ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll go out of my way (literally) to avoid small-talk because it's awkward and is just used to fill silence. I guess it's frowned upon by normal people in society but being painfully introverted does have its downsides.
WhatWasWhatAbout ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Small talk does more than just "...fill silence."
The standard "hey, how are you?" small talk is similar to pinging a computer; you get information on the person's status (whether they are functioning, friendly, and depending on their response, how open they are to further communication).
By avoiding small talk, you may be communicating something that you're not intending to communicate ('I'm not friendly', 'I won't listen to you', 'you annoy me'...)
For some people, small talk is awkward, for others, silence is awkward. Try to find a happy balance.
awesomesonofabitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you, bro.
G420classified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Small talk indicates a lack of threat to a stranger. Say, in an elevator, you can stay silent or you can give a friendly hello. By saying "hello", you convey a lack of danger despite your foreign nature to the other person, saying nothing doesn't necessarily convey a danger to the other person but there's no assurance of your lack of intent to harm or whatnot. I think I read that in Games Primates Play
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
small talk is a good way to start to get to know someone though
cocoalrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A girl I work with always asks the same small talk questions. "So, how are you?" "What're you up to tonight?" "Got any plans for the weekend?" More than a few times, I've answered a question only for her to ask it again about three minutes later.
Sometimes I realise I'm probably being rude for not asking her the same types of questions to get conversation going, but it doesn't occur to me to ask things like that because unless I take interest in something, I don't generally think to talk or ask about it.
But if a topic I'm interested in comes up? I'll talk a mile a minute.
XSplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence can be anything, but small talk is a confirmation that everything is at least "good enough."
zcab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Small talk makes me feel like I am dying inside. I refuse to do small talk. People think I am awkward. I do not care.
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It all depends on the situation and how well you know the other person(s).
If you're a guy alone with a girl at a bus stop late at night, better start making small talk to make her more comfortable than scaring her shitless.
PM_me_a_dirty_haiku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The purpose of shallow small talk is to find basic personal information to dig deeper into meaningful conversation. I agree if I'm just going to be here for 2 minutes let's both shut the fuck up.
Deathfrompopcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"hows your day going"
"fine"
....
I've had this 'conversation' like 500 times.
ellis0896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life, makes me quite lonely though when 99% of people I know only do small talk.
Camoral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do you just not talk to people or do you open with questions about religion, politics, and the meaning of life?
M8asonmiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have the patience or the facilities for small talk. If you have something that needs to be said, please say it. If not, silence is fine.
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well said, this is my philosophy. I have found out if you live this way you WILL be called "shy"; hey maybe I just don't give a shit about you or the weather. and my god do not ask "How have you been doing": you want me to say "good" and move on...basically telling me you don't care or are a boring as fuck small talk lover who wants to force "conversation" on me.
I leave people the fuck alone unless I see body language cues that they are in the mood to meet me.
hankjmoody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little late to the party here, but the way I usually put it is thus:
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
looks like rain, eh?
NegroNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I suck at small talk....
CatholicAlternate ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that just leave awkward silence, though?
DanTheTerrible ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence is never awkward. Silence is golden.
BananaPuddings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And no one dare disturbed...
daSilvaSurfa ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, I'd rather sit in silence for hours than plod through the whole "So...the Sun, that shit is bright and provides sustenance...Rain... nothing wetter than old H2O, eh?" I'd rather argue about abortion or the middle east than talk of nonsense and nothing.
backintheddr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never come to Ireland. We spend most of the year lamenting how not there the sun is and on the rare occasions it's actually hot we complain about it. I'd say conversations here go 60/40 weather vs everything else.
daSilvaSurfa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my. I expect that's much of the UK. Didn't know folks complained about the Sun though.
YzenDanek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Weather is fucking awesome.
Why are people afraid to talk about the weather?
"Did you see those four massive storm cells that set up in the northeastern sky on Monday? It was like 4 Everests of Doom. I was thinking tornado for sure. Wellington got golf ball sized hail. I was sure we were going to see Windsor ripped to shreds again."
daSilvaSurfa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because I'm in Ottawa Canada, we have a tornado/hurricane/earthquake type events about once a century.
YzenDanek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't have to be about actual violent storms.
The sky is just amazing.
daSilvaSurfa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I guess I just prefer specific conversations, not ones that will be virtually the same if I have them with anyone on earth. I've had a million conversations about weather and they were all essentially the same. To me it's like listening to your dad tell that camping story for the 10 000th time.
Like if someone were to go "So, feet, you walk on them too, huh? Left, right, left, right, isn't that always the way?"......"Yup."
edit: spelling
totalelevation ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 16:02:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower. I don't understand why some people are so against this
rustyshackle41d ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:29:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S ALL PIPES!
Taleya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your nick made me read this in Gribble's voice. Upvote for you, good sir.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:36 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your sink is pipes too.
outcast151 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:57:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i make it a point to pee in the shower if im gonna shower and i have to pee. no point in wasting water with a flush.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:27:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pee in the sink, does that count?
FutureExMrsGoldblum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:48:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading that peeing in the shower saves something like 1,500 gallons of water a year. Save the planet, pee in the shower!
guitarman81597 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:36:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are two types of people: People who pee in the shower and Dirty fucking liars.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm sure that lots of women don't. And there are men who don't. I didn't for a long time unless I really had to. Then I realized that it's way smarter than flushing an entire fucking toilet's worth of water. Saves time and water. Why not?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would women be any different in this scenario?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pee could run down their legs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes... followed by water. I'm not seeing the big deal. Does pee not get on your feet at all?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I usually aim for the drain or into the running water so it it does get on me it's already diluted
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think most people aren't terribly concerned about their own urine touching their lower body for the length of time it takes to pee.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Besides pee running down your legs, there's just the fact that most men have spent their entire lives peeing while standing. They're used to it and it's not like it's some new experience.
Women, though, don't do that. It's not that peeing while standing would be weird for women, although maybe it is. The real thing is, it has to cross their minds to pee standing up for them to do it.
And most people I know don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they pee. This subthread is an exception.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:44:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just not in a public shower, if your own who gives a fuck.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:34:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No problem with doing it in a public shower either, it all get's washes away.
WeightyUnit88 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:53:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's all the same drainage system, you might as well have a watery bout of diarrhea in there while you're at it
staynchik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are two types of people in the world: those who pee in the shower and liars.
toastfacegrilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
who?
HyperspaceCatnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried it a few times as several friends insisted it was somehow amazing. It made me feel dirty :(
pabstblueribbonpapi ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:39:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Finding a single strand of hair in my food. It's inevitable and I can't stand when people freak the fuck out over it.
jacktheBOSS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:54:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I respect your position, but that's gross as fuck to me.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I just can't do it.
squirrel_underwear ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 14:47:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity.
I'm not sure if all the porn has desensitized me or if I just see it as natural and not weird. Maybe it's some of both, but regardless, nudity does not bother me.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:09:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see why nudity is a big deal either.
I've even spent a few days camping at a nudist resort. It was slightly awkward for the first few minutes but after seeing 20 people naked walk-by in the span of a few minutes (all from different ages groups and body types). It doesn't seem like a big deal.
Besides naked swimming is awesome.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:25:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people have no idea how amazing this is.
intherorrim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the way Water meant it to be.
GoldMouseTrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite part about this, is that if I take a shit afterwards, I don't have to deal with the fucking bathing suit clinging to me....
MissMaster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:10:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a nude beach in San Diego that I used to go to with my ex-boyfriend and I loved it. It was great because it was sheltered, wasn't crowded and a lot of the people there were older hippies who didn't care. One guy was probably 80+ running down the beach in nothing but tennis shoes and a silver lame thong and he looked happy as could be.
Unfortunately, it's the guys that go to nude beaches to ogle/harass pretty women, make fun of unattractive people or complain that gasp the men are nude too that ruin it for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this either. I'm perfectly fine with being naked.
raj96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a beach in Europe and noticed most people were nude. I went with a group of like 15 people, and they all flipped but I didn't mind. It'd be kinda nice to not have to worry about a wet swimsuit or anything.
Molehasmoles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usually people aren't nude on most European beaches. Maybe topless, though that's definitely not popular in all European countries. You must have stumbled across a nude beach.
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you are ok with my erection?
triplefreshpandabear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to a nude campground, it doesn't happen, it's like your body knows it's not the time or place even though you are naked, you just feel comfortable and there was some attractive naked folk there I saw, but nothing down below. So in a normal socially nude situation I would imagine that most would not be OK with your erection, just cover it up til it goes away then carry on like normal
GLOOTS_OF_PEACE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to a nude beach a few times now as an adult, and it was no biggie. Felt like any other beach. The only reason why i enjoyed it more than regular beach was because i didn't have to worry about wet clothes on the way home. I didn't even notice me and everyone else was naked.
But this would have been different as a kid. I was one horny motherfucker. The sight of tits made me raging hard, and the thought of pussy made me drool. Ah grade 5, those were the days.
triplefreshpandabear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure given some exposure nudity can be normalized to anyone, even young people, might even be healthy for them, positive body image and all.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 22:28:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont want to see obese ugly people nude in the street. Unless you have particular tastes im doubt porn has desensitized you to that.
DieFledermouse ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 15:04:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go stand on a beach with 60yr old fat nude blobs and tell me it doesn't bother you.
raj96 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:27:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because I wouldn't have sex with someone doesn't mean they should be like banished from life
brierrat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:09:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would it bother me?
squirrel_underwear ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:55:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're missing the point. Of course I don't want to look at that. Not because of nudity, they could be covered up and I still wouldn't find it attractive
Tommy2255 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing it, but the blob I'm picturing would cover his swimsuit in the fat rolls anyway, so it doesn't make much difference.
camalittle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similar response when I hear men who say women should be able to go topless in public: be careful what you wish for. Most women (and men) are not nice to look at naked.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 16:38:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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c_rbon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the SJW.
Seriously though, it's natural for us to be unattracted to old/fat people, because they don't look healthy enough to provide and take care of offspring.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a massive difference between not being attracted to someone and finding them disgusting, and I don't think it changes much with the amount of clothing
The_Salaminizer ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:21:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women going topless in public. After the break in period it wouldn't be taboo or risquรฉ.
recyclopath_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:09:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But lady nipples are sinful! Never mind that shirtless man has bigger tiddies than I'll ever have.
Tendoncs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other places it is not such a big deal. I had a friend who went to study abroad in highschool. He was super excited about nude/topless beaches.. I asked him when he came back how he enjoyed it. He said the first few times it was amazing for 10 mins or so then after that it did not really matter.
lostsemicolon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except most people outside of the #freethenipple thing don't actually care. I live near Austin where it's totally legal and have never once seen anyone exercise that right.
Like maybe some people will be topless at swimming pools, but besides that?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it's legal doesn't mean that the stigma is suddenly not there anymore /: I'd love to go topless but tbh I'm a bit afraid of being the first person (or one of the only people) excising the right.
The_Salaminizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, there would be the initial shock reaction to women libertines sprouting up. If there were a movement towards the acceptance of nudity in public that could start to break in our society to the idea that nudity isn't sexual or wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For sure. A lot of us do care about freeing the nipple, but freeing it is a tough barrier to break right off the bat!
The_Salaminizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. The barrier to topless freedom is a high one, but I think it's an important social change.
The_Salaminizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The spirit of my post was that the US had some crazy rules regarding the exposure of skin that 50-56% of the population have. I think if women were allowed to walk topless down the street, eventually it would become commonplace and maybe we could shed some of those puritanical ideologies that make people feel parts of them are dirty.
Mattosity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's legal in a lot of places, but most don't do it.
Mickeymackey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Austin is gender-neutral on toplessness, if a guy can be shirtless in an area so can a girl.
I don't think it is that way on private property like hotels though.
lostsemicolon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's up to the owners of the private establishment.
toastfacegrilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
would also make it less weird watching a move showing topless women with your mom
The_Salaminizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We got a dreamer over here!
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My father and I have learned to check when we watch movies with her. We watched Get Hard with Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart, which has a scene with Will Ferrell trying to force himself to suck a guy's dick.
Definitely awkward.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so my bags of fat are bigger than those of most men. Who honestly gives a fuck?!
I should have just as much right to take off my top if it's hot as they do!
Of course, I keep it on, because otherwise I would be "asking to get raped", or would probably be arrested for public indecency.
BlakeSteel ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:19:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And boring. Is that what you really want?
sibeliushelp ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:23:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we should make male toplessness illegal too then, to make male nipples more mysterious and sexy to women.
Kranicc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:27:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't object.
Boush117 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:52:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with /u/BlakeSteel. The reason boobs are so beautiful and worshipped upon is the fact that our exposure to them au naturale is so limited. If women started going topless in the summer, it would soon be too easy for pervs like me. Although if my women friends wanted to go topless (if only...), I would not stop them.
It is said that the chase is better than the catch. I could not agree more.
abcde123987 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:12:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, because all that matters about sexist double-standards is whether men get off on it or not. /s
Maybe I want to be able to feel the wind and sun on my back & chest on a hot day, just like all the overweight, hairy male construction workers I see all the time. Or swim topless in the ocean. I am okay with the idea that men would (1) see my boobs and get excited and (2) apparently eventually get bored of boobs so long as they didn't harass me about it or leer like they're about to drag me off to their cave-dwelling.
The_Salaminizer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for chiming in. My OP was pointed towards a naked human figure in public being a general expression of human beauty, and you supported my idea eloquently.
Boush117 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:04:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, thanks for bringing in the POV of women.
Usually I feel that women don't want to expose themselves, due to the obvious reactions. I failed to consider the exceptions to this assumption.
Swimming in the nude I think is a thing that should be done freely (just not in extremely public areas).
abcde123987 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:01:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the fact of the matter is that it's because of "the obvious reactions" aka men ruining it for us (okay, also an honourable mention to pearl-clutching women who would call the topless woman a slut or whatever). Plenty of women would love to have that freedom that men do to just whip their shirt off if it's uncomfortable!
frogger3344 ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 16:28:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disliking food. Why the FUCK can't I but like Brussels sprouts? "Oh but /u/Frogger3344 these ones are different." FUCK YOU! All Brussels sprouts taste terrible. Don't be insulted if I universally don't like a food.
Pravus_Belua ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 19:32:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one is pretty much a universal "Shut the fuck up!" for me.
Meat eaters, leave vegetarians alone.
Vegetarians, leave meat eaters alone.
Vegans, leave everyone else alone.
People who like <Insert food here>, leave people who don't like it alone.
Whatever you eat, enjoy it, and leave everyone else alone with what they like. Why is that so fucking difficult?
4077 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know when a vegan walks into the room? They fucking tell you.
Pravus_Belua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know a meat eater has walked into the room? The first thing they do is bitch about the vegan.
That works both ways, and it's equally pointless from either side.
4077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omnivore here.
Pravus_Belua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As am I.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:32:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
v-tanabata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I'd feel pretty bad if I went somewhere to eat and a friend of mine chose to eat nothing. I doubt I'd push them about it, but I would find it hard to believe that there isn't a single item on a menu he/she would like, even if it was just a drink? I would just feel selfish, like I was wasting their time, making them watch me eat, that they are just being polite, and that I should have gone somewhere we both would have liked. I know that isn't actually the impression you're trying to give, but it's just how I would feel about it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:43:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most definitely. Fuck broccoli, man. Honestly, I couldn't eat that stuff if I tried. If I try to eat steamed broccoli or some pan seared squash or zucchini, I gag as soon as I put it in my mouth. Not in a childish "I don't want to eat this, you can't make me, I feel sick" thing. I really can't eat it. It triggers a gag reflex and I have to stop myself from puking everywhere, it's gross.
fractalfarmer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:54:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually a biological difference between those who don't like sprouts and those who do - to some people they taste horribly bitter, to others there's no bitterness.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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OrbitalSquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:55 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stella Artois Cidre. Not beer, tastes delicious. You might not like it, but if drinking stuff out of a bottle is the thing you need to do, this may be a way to do it.
kmillz1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:22:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On that note, having "not seen a movie". Fuck off I can't watch them all!
TheKrakenCometh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse to acknowledge anyone that hasn't watched Episodes 4, 5, and 6 of Star Wars as people.
kmillz1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:49:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agree with you there lol
jupiter78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Omg this so much. People get literally offended when they find out I hate cheese. I try to not mention it but people end up asking and getting offended about why i'll ask for food without cheese at restaurants. I will say I understand people being offended if you refuse food THEY make but when food I order at a restaurant, wtf.
SaintDanie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a difference though if it's being offered to you. Like if I was at someone's house and they offered me food it'd be rude to not try at least a little, even if it's something I don't like. Otherwise the other person eats awkwardly by themselves
Kuatsu742 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:39:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but im an extremely picky eater, and most foods I dont like cause me to physically gag. So which is more rude, to refuse the offered food or to gag on it in front of them?
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:40:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up and not GAGGING (???) at something edible might be the least rude thing you could do. What the fuck kind of grown up can't stomach a spoonful of something? christ we're all turning into such goddamn fucking babies.
fractalfarmer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:57:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been trying to learn to not gag when I taste mushrooms for nearly thirty years - no success. Anything else I don't like I can stomach with a smile when I need to, but mushrooms knock me completely sick. Not all reflexes can be overriden.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully this happens in the presence of a cook who is more tolerant than I was in my comment. I should empathize that not everyone was raised to eat everything politely. Like that gagging thing you're talking about I can't even fathom, I only gag if I'm being physically choked by something. There's tons of stuff I don't like or prefer, but gagging on food never happened when I was a kid, so I guess I never experienced it later on. We were allowed to not eat things, but we had to try it. Growing up i actually self-identified as a picky eater because I didn't like certain things. Still ate everything if I was at someone's house, but I wasn't happy about it sometimes.
Then, I grew up and met people who refused to try things at all, and it just enraged me and continues to (I've dated too many men near the age of 30 who have not tried things and don't ever intend to). Now I know what an actual picky eater is.
My bar of tolerance is pretty low, I'm realizing. If its something you can politely put aside, then that's different than proclaiming its nasty and hurting someone's feelings, or returning a plate just because it was touched by something you didn't like. Sorry i sounded so judgy and i hope no one bakes mushrooms into your birthday cake.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:10:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No your reaction was justified. I know people who will claim to be allergic to things but the truth is they are liars,they just don't want to try things . Or the excuse "I just don't like the texture". Fuck your texture. And gagging on something is bullshit.
My girlfriend near when we started dated objected to the asparagus I was cooking. She thought she was picky but I don't play that shit. I asked her when she last had asparagus, she was 6, so 16 years previous. I told her there was nothing else to eat if she didn't try the asparagus. Turns out she loves it.
Its like picky eaters were beaten with brussels, fish, turnips and mushrooms as a child.
BoobiesBoobiesBoob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:36:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, and this is more likely, people just have different tastes than you. I'm willing to try most things, but some textures do make me feel sick. And some foods taste fucking strange. Celery literally tastes like smoke to me. It's like eating a cigarette.
SaintDanie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Their parents just told them they were allowed to not eat their Brussel sprouts and brocolli.
sevenduckies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that some people lie about allergies, but at the same time, I'm kind of okay with not pushing people who claim to be allergic. I mean, best case scenario is that I prove them a liar, but worst case is that they get ill or die because I thought they were lying and they weren't.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate hate HATE the texture of raw tomatoes. Texture, smell everything. But I'm an adult if it gets in my food I'm not jazzed but I won't cause a fuss, come on it's edible it won't kill me..
5432nun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I gagged on an oyster a couple of weeks ago! And I can handle oysters . . . as long as I don't chew. Someone said, "what?? You don't chew them a little?? What in carnation** is wrong with you?"
But man oh man, it was a violent gag, red-faced, tear ducts overflowing . . . still, I'm glad I tried a "scary" food because another possible outcome is that I would have liked it. Maybe I'll try it again after a while. I hope your mushroom dilemma works itself out!
** They did not actually use this word. That was added for dramatic effect.
marlow6686 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same for me, with food like oysters it's not the flavour but the texture that makes me feel sick. I can't handle raw fish, raw/ cured meats, milk or cream
Neospector ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is me. I can't handle it when my food is rubbery or can't be chewed/bitten into. Especially fat on meat. I hate fat on meat. It is literally chewing slimy rubber. That and rare steak/pork chops. What people see in blood-flavored, chewy chunks I'll never know.
On the other hand, I gotta disagree a little with frogger's hate; cooking foods a certain way can change how they taste drastically. You can put ingredients you don't like into something and have it come out amazing. It also works the other way around, there can be ways of making food that you'll readily dislike. I love raw tomatoes, but I can't stand them cooked at all. A lot of the time, people questioning your tastes in food will ask you if you've had them prepared a certain way. They don't all taste the same. Obviously it's rude if someone tries to push you into eating it, but you shouldn't be quick to assume they're always bad.
smackaroniandcheese ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:53:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there is anything worse than someone looking at the food you are enjoying and saying "that's gross". Like, whatever, you don't like something but you are going try and demean me for liking something.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The behavior you're describing is what really bugs me. You can say, "I don't like X" if you MUST, which even that is stretching it (it's like if I say my mom's a montessori teacher and youre like jeez montessori is a load of baloney right after I say it... like congrats on being rude and brave?), but don't say a food item is gross, it's very privileged and douchey, on top of being just so egotistical:
fuck off will ya.
I told a younger cousin not to say this once and her mom was so mad she was like "she's just expressing herself" um no. If my ma's gone out her way to cook for your crap kid and they don't like vegetables, that's not a child expressing herself, that's her being a bad guest. If you don't even want to eat it, you may do so quietly, but don't sit around calling food gross because you personally don't have the palate to appreciate it.
CRAG7 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:46:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gagging is a natural reflex We can't all be perfect beings like you.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:40:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes... because withholding disgust and ickle feelies, and being polite during food consumption is 'perfection.' Gagging is a reflex to defend yourself from something noxious or from physical choking, not to validate your privilege and pickiness, it can be trained to be heightened or dampened. Most grown ups train themselves into a higher tolerance than when they werechidren.. are you seeing what I'm getting at here.
I'm a normal person in real life, but by the social standards of the people on here i'm some neat-freaked, posh piece of shit. y'all are ridiculous.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:19:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's kind of a fair one, it's an intentionally stinky stinky cheese. I don't consider someone who doesnt like caviar or cheese or something pretty stinky, a picky eater (not that my definition is gold standard, but to give you an idea of where I'm coming from). My comment is regarding 'picky' eaters who only eat fried stuff covered with cheese which is really not trying anything after childhood, nevermind complete disregard for their adult nutrition.
CRAG7 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:19:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I may be ridiculous, but at least I'm not a sanctimonious prick. You do you, dude.
Edit: I'm not saying if you gag you should do it loudly and obviously. Don't be rude, but more often than not, gagging can't really be stopped. Swallow what you can and be polite. When asked if you want any more, say no thank you, you're full, or some other polite way of getting out of eating more. Nothing wrong with being a picky eater. You know what you like and what you don't. Don't let people make you feel like an asshole for not enjoying some food. I personally can't stand mayo or anything that uses it. It genuinely disgusts me and it would take a lot of willpower to put that in my mouth. I'd do my best if I was at a girlfriend's parent's place, but I'm not going to cram more into me than I can muster. I'd probably take a couple bites of whatever the dish is and keep eating the rest of the food. At the end I'd just say I couldn't eat anymore because I'm too full. If you have a different opinion, you don't need to state it like your opinion is the end all be all of opinions.
TheKrakenCometh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:38:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone that occasionally and involuntarily gags on food I love due to unintentional psychosomatic thoughts or poorly timed bad smells, I don't think you're properly acknowledging that a lot of people would like to not gag when eating things but can't control it or readily expose themselves to the stimuli enough to reduce its frequency.
insighttoleft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it gets easier as you grow older. Why do you have to "train" yourself though?
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:59:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually not conscious I don't think, I know my brother had to think about it actively but I just grew out of disliking certain flavor bases especially smoky flavor for example. The same way girls/guys can train themselves for certain activities... Kinda like that but easier when you're younger.
Kuatsu742 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:50:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I literally cant not do it. I try to stomach things when I can, and I try new stuff when its offered to me, and if I can eat it great, and if I cant my body reflexively gags, no matter how hard I try to stop it from doing so. And I fucking hate it. I feel like a ten year old. I cant go to certain restaurants, I have to eat before I go to other peoples houses, or just go hungry and play it off as I didnt want to eat anything anyways. Im so sick of the same foods, over and over. If I could stomach these things without visibly heaving I would
jcpianiste ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you... do you know what gagging is? It's a physical reaction, not somebody throwing a tantrum and trying to be a dick. If I could somehow decide not to gag on certain specific textures I probably would like those foods! (If you felt like you were going to throw up every time you ate chocolate, you would probably develop a dislike of it, right?) The problem is that I can't. I do try to eat what's in front of me if I'm at someone's house, even if I don't like it, because the idea of coming off as unappreciative or insulting them in some way is utterly mortifying to me, but trying to almost-vomit in a way that is subtle and undetectable to those around you is pretty difficult and being put in that situation is not really my favorite experience.
If somebody is allergic to cats, you wouldn't tell them to just "grow up" and get a cat, would you? Even if you really liked cats and thought they were the best thing ever? No, because their body has a negative physical reaction to cats, so it would be stupid to put themselves through that for no reason other than "because somebody else likes them."
I can understand getting annoyed by people who won't ever go outside a toddler's diet of mac-n-cheese and hot dogs to try new things, but it seems crazy to me to freak out at someone who prefers not to put something in their body when they've tried it before and know that it causes them to feel nauseated. One is a case of being close-minded, the other is somebody preferring to avoid things that are known to cause physical discomfort.
jupiter78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheese makes me literally gag. I cannot stomach it but I always try to let friends know this before they attempt to make me something with it.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I do realize my first statement was a little too judgy, sorry. There's a difference between what you do and people just refusing to try things. you've tried it and hated it, and tell people. It's different than showing up to a party and not eating anything because it's not deep fried and coverd in cheese, and I was mostly visualizing those kinds of 'picky eaters' who aren't actually practicing discerning taste, they're just refusing to eat things and making everyone else's lives miserable in the process. OR, they're saying "That's disgusting" when what they really should be saying is "I don't like this," and absorbing the responsibility for their preference.
enigmaquip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How bout you stop being judgmental, maybe be sympathetic to your fellow human, and educate yourself on a recognized eating disorder in the DSM V. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:51:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh good, the miserable shits of Tumblr have arrived.
I'm talking about grown ass men who wont eat courteously when someone has cooked a meal from them. If the guy wanted to say "But i have ARFID/SED," he would have, and that's different than this.
I know someone with SED and it's not a joke, she has gone through years of therapy and can now add to her diet which is rad. That isn't this. 'picky eaters' pretending they have it is a slap in the face of people with an actual disorder abd surprise surprise, a lot of them are actually trying to help themselves!
TLDR: I'm sympathetic to those who have actual eating disorders. Statistically, how possible is it that every picky eater has a disorder and its selectively, surprisingly, only french fries and fried chicken and pizza they can eat?
that's like telling me every lazy fat person is fat because they have a thyroid problem. Could it be true? OF COURSE. is it true? probably not.
enigmaquip ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:07:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your racing to judgment is showing again. I avoid tumblr like the plague. I am someone who suffers from SED, and if you know someone as you say how do they deal with your 'Just grow up and stop gagging like a baby'
caitsith01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
While I agree that you shouldn't be pestered to eat things you don't want to eat, this sounds like a psychological problem to me.
There are plenty of things I don't like much, but they don't cause me to gag.
FuckedByCrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disliking anything someone likes. Goo to r/movies and say that you didn't like In Bruges and prepare to be mercilessly attacked. Most people are s insecure I their personal choices that they demand everyone around them agree. It's no different than the attitude that religious fundies have.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And those times you HAVE to taste it and say it's great, even though it's not really your favourite cause otherwise your SO's mom or your grandma won't stop nagging you.
skittle-brau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who likes Brussels sprout, I applaud you for actually spelling and capitalising it correctly.
frogger3344 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Auto correct to the rescue
the_omega99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes really dislike eating with my parents because they can be the worst about this. I'm a bit fussy about food. It's no choice of mine. I simply don't find a number of foods to be very good tasting.
But my parents often taking this personally. They act like I'm ungrateful for the meal just because I didn't eat as much as normal (which I guess is a good sign that I didn't like the food that much).
Why should I have to stuff my face with food that might make me gag just to appease your feelings? I don't understand why more people wouldn't understand it's nothing personal. Nobody likes every food and nobody chooses what foods they like.
4077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate salmon and any fish that tastes fishy no matter how you cook it. People don't understand why I'll eat tilapia, but not salmon. I fucking hate the flavor, that's why.
jumpinthedog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just annoys the piss out of me when my gf is so picky about food that it limits where we can go.
Taleya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
best fucking thing about being an adult: NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU EAT THE FOODS YOU DON'T FUCKIN' WANT TO.
SO THERE
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:46 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm usually against Brussels sprouts, but my mother used to make bomb ass sprouts.
satanicleaftailgecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when they ask why you don't like it. It just tastes horrible to me and that is all.
Coul33t ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brussels sprouts makes me choke. It's a fucking disgrace.
Rachellybean ยท 1404 points ยท Posted at 14:00:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs. Well most of them anyway, no needles please. Needles are scary.
[deleted] ยท 1226 points ยท Posted at 15:28:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is reddit so drug-friendly?
P.S.: This is not an accusation, just an honest question.
CrimsonSmear ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:15:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The chart in this article shows the addiction rate versus the cost of the drug war over time. I'm drug friendly because I figure people will be addicts regardless of how much we spend to fight against them. Make them legal, but keep people informed of the dangers.
CrunchatizeMe_Capn ยท 1039 points ยท Posted at 15:36:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of them don't have the consequences (if used in moderation) that are tied to the social stigma around them.
TheLastSparten ยท 813 points ยท Posted at 16:00:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that the problem with them? I have little to no experience with drugs, but isn't the issue with them being addicting and therefore difficult to keep under moderation.
captain_manatee ยท 825 points ยท Posted at 16:13:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Certain drugs like pot, mushrooms, lsd aren't chemically addictive. Although there are arguments that they can be psychologically addictive.
Edit: a lot of people pointing out that anything can be psychologically addictive, which is true, but an addiction to a drug that affects your mental state is probably worse than being addicted to reddit.
tarheel343 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm addicted to weed, but not chemically. It's a habit like looking at reddit every day or playing video games when I'm bored. It's not something that has come to be a problem in my life, so I have no desire to change it.
megacookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really any different to someone smoking a cigarette or two every day except you're doing less permanent damage to your lungs/mouth/etc and there's nothing chemically addicting. But oh noes weed "messes with your head" so don't smoke the scary plant but instead huff on this tube of this other plant plus nicotine and a bunch of other chemicals because it's a valid lifestyle choice!
arkangelic ยท 233 points ยท Posted at 16:42:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
which can be said for anything that people derive pleasure from. at that point its really more your personality as an individual.
Edit: when i said personality i meant anything to do with your mind. so if you are depressed or traumatized, that can lead to becoming addicted to something that is not chemically addictive. i apologize for the wording i used.
NoodleNonger ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 17:10:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's still an important aspect to take into account though. Take World of Warcraft for example. Whether you like it or not it is heavily recognised as a very addictive game for a lot of people. I'm pretty sure you can read stories of people who have lost their lives to the game and had to spend time trying to take it back.
Obviously it's important to not act like weed is guaranteed to get you addicted but to act like a good chance of it happening isn't there is also somewhat irresponsible.
RedMikeYawn ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:46:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All I read from your post was World of Warcraft and thought to myself 'wouldn't it be nice hopping back on my disc. healing priest and playing for a bit?' I don't even know what this thread is about anymore and I haven't played for years.
FR_STARMER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Case in point. Same goes for people who smoke a lot of weed. It honestly depends on how you use said pleasure, though. If you played WoW to escape, or smoke weed to cope with anxiety, you will more likely become addicted than if you smoke recreationally at a party. Crutches are addictive.
arkangelic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes but those people have addictive personalities. I do too sort of. im a binger, when I find something I like I do it and over do it for a period, then toss it aside and forget about it. cant tell you how many hours I put into ffxi before I eventually left it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, then you learn about Blizzard hiring a team a psychologists to make it even more addicting, but they play it off as "increasing the entertainment value of our product".
They are little better than meth pushers.
NoodleNonger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was that seriously a thing? Like, you're not just exaggerating?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a thing, might still be a thing.
There was a website that exposed all of it, with documents and all of that good stuff, and one day it went "poof".
Blizzard is a multi-billion dollar company. They can probably make shitty little websites go "poof" easily with legal threats.
I remember before seeing the website, seeing job ads from Blizzard for research psychologists.
w/e... every major industry has their evil player, normally the really successful ones, heh
TonySoprano420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That some compulsive people might get addicted =/= good chance of it happening. And I say that as a non-addict who chooses to smoke pot every day more or less.
shamchimp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:41:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I was addicted to gummy bears for a year.
Maybe I shouldn't do LSD anytime soon.
arkangelic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:19:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
couldn't tell you i've never had the pleasure to try LSD :(
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:05:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
alas getting the chance is the impossible bit. unless i figure out how to make my own lol.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? Are you in the US, or another country? LSD is moderately hard to find here in the US, but not impossible. Outside, that I do not know.
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im in the US. but its not like I can just stop by the local supermarket and get me some. and anyone offering id feel is a cop, and anyone id ask would think im a cop lol. at least that's my perspective on it. maybe if I was into the rave scene or something but im more of a homebody.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it is hard to find, definitely have to know someone well before asking, and even then, you need a test kit to determine if it is real. Mushrooms are way easier to find, and hard to fake.
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and very easy to grow on your own seeing as you can technically order spores online lol.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:13 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, easier than making LSD at home. That requires restricted chemicals or growing very toxic mold to process and purify.
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:08 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh well there goes that idea lol. shrooms are pretty much set it and forget it, and just hope you did it cleanly so you don't get contamination.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:33 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, the set ups that I have seen have been a bit more intense than set and forget.
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:54 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well they are probably growing for mass quantity to sell then where bad yields affects profits. for someone just looking to try some for themselves and experience something wonderful its just some jars and a plastic bin lol.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:59 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was basically the set up I saw, but then there was a lot of effort made to control the temp and humidity, to control germs, and maximize yield. It was a commercial grow, but it was still jars and plastic boxes. Just rigor and scale that makes the difference.
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:42 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol yea if your not worried about getting big yields you don't need to worry about the whole environmental control thing.
Ckrius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:03 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, though I would probably end up doing it just for fun.
Optionions ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:50 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Until the pink elephants decide to burn down your house and murder your family.
Optionions ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:24:20 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted for sharing an actual story from someone I know? I don't get reddit sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:05:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LSD is about the LEAST addictive drug I can think of. I also wouldn't recommend it as your first dabble into psychedelics. It can be pretty intense and last up to 12 hours. Something like mushrooms gives you a pretty similar experience, but usually only lasts about 4 hours and for me is easier to "control".
denzil_holles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. It's extremely difficult to become addicted to LSD, but that's not to say that it's not a dangerous drug. It's very difficult to control your actions on LSD, which may lead to dangerous behavior (running out into traffic). Please have someone not "tripping" with you if you ever decide to try it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the idea that you'd run into traffic is a bit silly. I've been tripping hard enough that everything around me was a fractal, and I still wouldn't have gone into traffic. It's more the psychological dangers that you really need to worry about.
If you have some shit in your past or your present to work out, you had best be ready to confront it head on. That's really what the babysitter is there for. Not to stop you from jumping off a building, but to remind you that what you're feeling is the result of taking a drug and it's only temporary.
denzil_holles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people taking LSD may accidentally take NBOME (both are taken on blotter paper and they may not know that NBOME tastes bitter/metallic). Enough NBOME will get you tripping so hard that you cannot see reality anymore. You won't be able to control your movements at all.
slimjim321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With mushrooms, for me, theres a strong sense of an 'outside force' directing your trip. Things can get dramatic, sinister and scary very quickly if you're unlucky. LSD is intense and long but the trip feels like its 'yours to travel' so to speak. As far as first dabble 4-HO-MET is where its at. Playful, light-hearted fun, at least at smaller doses.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting that I've had exactly the opposite. I feel like it's easier to properly dose shrooms. You can only do a little.. whereas a tab is a tab. You're in or your out.
I've never left myself on shrooms, but I have had acid trips as intense as salvia. I can handle it - and even enjoy it - in short bursts, but a couple hours of that scrambles reality a bit too much for me.
I've always looked at it like shrooms show you the world around you that you didn't realize was there. Acid shows you everything about yourself that you never knew was there. I always felt like the latter had more potential for The Fear.
BlueFalcon89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I've never touched LSD but have done mushrooms. I think Mushrooms (and hallucinogens in general) are the furthest thing from a substance that could lead to habitual use.
krostenvharles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:13:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not just personality, though. Lots of things affect susceptibility to addiction, including stress level, sophistication of coping skills, support network, biological disposition, locus of control, level of hope, etc. Personality is another on that list, as is the chemical composition of the addictive substance.
I believe there is a harm in reducing the problem to just one of those components (eg: "Drugs are bad," or, "It's really more your personality"), because it tends to create blame and stigma around whatever component is selected. Looking at a broader picture creates many more avenues to change/progress (eg: "Why don't we see if we can help folks reduce stress and/or improve coping?" or, "Why don't we strengthen people's support networks?").
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yup, i mentioned to another person i count that all in personality because its your mind.
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean as long as you're responsible none of that should matter, doing pot or acid on weekend to unwind isn't going to negatively impact anyone around you, so why is it stigmatised so much?
Tobacco and alcohol are not seen nearly as negatively despite them being perfectly legal, and sometimes even expected for an adult to do in public. Have you ever come across violent and raucous weed users out on a night, disrupting everyone around them? I doubt it.
arkangelic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh im totally with you. the fact that pot is slowly being legalized is amazing. imo people should be allowed to do whatever they please with themselves so long as they are not harming anyone else.
LinguisticPenguin14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in the UK unfortunately, definitely not with the tories being voted in.
ADreamByAnyOtherName ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, lsd is even anti-addictive sometimes. like using it makes you not wanna do it for a little while. or something.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:07:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that after the last time I did it, I wanted to wait a while before doing it again. It's been about 15 years..
loklanc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a long time between reboots.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even now, I never say "never again", but I would need time to prepare myself, as opposed to any number of other drugs where I would just be like "Sure.. that sounds fun."
KillerKittenwMittens ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:49:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But depending on the circumstances, a person can become psychologically addicted to basically anything.
Rubcionnnnn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:13:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but most things don't have the consequences that drugs carry. You don't see someone addicted to coffee become a useless junky.
TheColorOfStupid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But many drugs don't really carry much consequences other than "wasting" time.
TonySoprano420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:34:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try not giving it to them.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
myotherotherusername ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:22:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol dude that's a stretch. I'm a huge supporter of decriminalization across the board and a daily drugs user.
But to say caffeine addiction even comes close to what heroin or coke addiction can do... That's just ignorant haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a straw man argument. He didn't say it comes close to heroin or coke, but a day without coffee is just unproductive.
myotherotherusername ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:05:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he did haha... He said caffeine withdrawals make you like a useless junky. I guess he may have been exaggerating, in which case it went over my head lol. But I just wanted to make sure he didn't actually think that haha
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
myotherotherusername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha I dunno if I'd agree with that. Coming from someone who smokes every day and has drank coffee every day in the past.
garrettcolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. He is right.
Quitting caffeine gave me the shakes for the first two days and I had to take a week off of work.
Quitting pot makes going to sleep harder and I act cranky the first day.
Night and day difference. I had my first panic attack the day after I quit caffeine.
Ever notice people don't take coffee T-breaks...
myotherotherusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, nobody is right haha... It depends entirely on the person, cuz drugs are pretty damn subjective lol.
For me, I drank energy drinks daily for a month or so. Quiting was easy. The withdrawals consisted of: being more tired than usual in the morning, and being more cranky in the morning. After a few hours of class and getting a good meal in, I was fine. Wd lasted about 2 bad days, 1 iffy day, then i was fine
Quitting weed after smoking daily for a month causes me to entirely lose my appetite (counted once, and I struggled to get 1200 calories in me, when I'm usually easily clear of 2200). It also causes me terrible anxiety about going to bed at night, leading to sleepless nights that left me far more tired than a lack of caffeine ever did.
As far as cravings go, they were equally bad in the morning, but caffeine cravings usually are gone by like noon when I'm fully awake. Weed cravings last all day and into the night. Never stops, for like a week or two afterwards, well past wds
So like I said, there is no clear answer here. I was just saying I disagree with the blanket statement "caffeine is worse than pot". Maybe it is for some people, but I'm willing to bet there's just as many people that think it's the other way.
Also, lol I have noticed tons of people take caffeine t-breaks... I've done it, my roommates have done it. Pretty sure my mom's done it. Maybe nobody you know has, but people do lol
garrettcolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much caffeine did you have a day?
I used to have 4 cups of coffee, a 5 hour energy or mio energy, and at night I'd start drinking energy drinks like red bull/monster.
It'd be like a dude who smoked one hitters saying his withdrawals weren't bad compared to a guy who smoked dabs all day.
I guess this is why this is subjective, but medically they compare quitting caffeine to quitting cigarettes. It's because caffeine is a dopamine thing, like nicotine, so it causes some pretty serious depression.
myotherotherusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah if you drink that much coffee it'll be terrible withdrawals. But if you smoked the equivalent amount of weed, the withdrawals would be equivalently bad. Again, it's all subjective. Neither is worse than the other in general
garrettcolas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:23:05 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are objective ways to argue caffeine withdrawal is worse, and arguments in favor of that point will only grow as we learn more about the brain's physical structure.
Caffeine is a part of the dopamine re-uptake pathway, it affects your ability to feel happy physically. It also has been classified as physically addictive, unlike weed, which is merely psychologically addictive.
One is worse than the other, and although we might differ in our opinion, the evidence overwhelmingly says that caffeine is more harmful.
Alakazarm ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not getting psychologically addicted to heroin or coke though.
myotherotherusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait are you saying that it's impossible to get psychologically addicted to coke or heroin? Because that's super Not true haha
If you're not saying that then wait what are you saying?
Alakazarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That you can get uh
normally addicted to them
Psychologically addicted is like when you get addicted to video games or whatever, right?
myotherotherusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, addiction to video games is psychological addiction. But so is heroin. Heroin can be both physical and psychological, or just one or the other.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Actually coke is ONLY psychological, not physical.
Rubcionnnnn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't recall hearing about anyone losing their job and becoming a useless member of society over coffee.
berryer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:38:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People rarely go through caffeine withdrawal unless by choice though - most workplaces provide coffee. I decided to tone down my intake when i realized i got the shakes around noon daily if i wasn't one or two energy drinks in by then, and the physical withdrawal definitely made me a lot less productive for awhile
I'd say the difference is that it makes you more focused as opposed to more comfortable - meth or adderall is a better more-addictive thing to draw connections to than heroin. In low doses meth is prescribed for add/adhd because it does help with focus, but just like caffeine the amounts people take when abusing it are often far above moderation. IIRC truckers used to take small doses of meth to keep awake for long-hauls before legal limits on driving hours came into effect
Mackelsaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot more going on in energy drinks than simply caffeine. Coffee and tea are simple beverages compared to the concoction of chemicals an energy drink is.
berryer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also true, but a 2L of mountain dew would also suffice. Tbh at that point most of the drinks i preferred had primarily caffeine & B-vitamins as the active ingredients
Mackelsaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all I drink is 10+ Litres of water per day and coffee/tea in the morning/evening. Milk on cereal and maybe orange juice?
I think the alcohol example a higher comment gave about it being seen as a (social) tool rings true for coffee too, except it serves a different purpose. In moderation and taking into account tolerances for the active ingredient in both, it can be used effectively or abused.
Tommybeast ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee addiction really doesn't have any side effects...
forte_bass ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:16:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irritability, trouble focusing, and heart rate changes would like to disagree with you on that one.
Marc_My_Words ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:18:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldnt really say "arguments" because its a known problem. Anything from daily marijuana use to daily coffee consumption can turn into a habit that is hard to break.
This also explains why its hard for people to come to a consensus on how addicting pot really is: everyone is going to experience varying levels of difficulty to quit.
Tzintzuntzan24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't caffeine physically addictive though?
Kitsyfluff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is, because your brain comes to rely on it to function.
Surtrthedestroyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know a guy who's really psychologically addicted to the 3 you listed. It's very sad. Everytime I talk to him it bums me out. All he talks about is how he keeps having bad trips because he does to many drugs and he's fucking up his life.
TheIndianUser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything has the potential to be psychologically addicting.
Light_of_Avalon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well anything can be psychologically addicting. Drugs, porn, food, sex, being loved, shopping, video games, reading, praying, cleaning, exercise.
It's just how that person handles their habits and how it effects others that matter.
weareyourfamily ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The danger is measured in how it affects your ability to function in other aspects of life. With that as the framework, reddit can be as detrimental as a gambling addiction, sex addiction, even some drug addictions. The only nice thing about it is that it doesn't really have any permanent physical effects. Unless you count heart disease due to lack of physical activity.
Ihavenootheroptions ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm that marijuana can be addictive. Smoked daily for almost three years. I can go without smoking and be fine, but man do I want to really bad if I don't. It's almost like drinking soda. You know you'll love if you just drink water but it isn't as satisfying.
CrabClawAngry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The distinction between psychologically addictive and chemically addictive is a misconception.
Addiction can be caused by anything that activates the dopamine circuits in your brain; the more powerful the activator the more likely to cause addiction, but the mechanism is the same.
See "The Compass of Pleasure" by Dr. David Linden.
PurpleParasite ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:02:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LSD has been proven to have no addictive qualities, and if it's legit no negatives except on schizophrenics. Same with shrooms and mescaline
chaosmosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you happen to know why it has a negative effect on schizophrenics? I'm worried it might generalize to people with other sorts of psychological disabilities, like myself.
PurpleParasite ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:14:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I recall correctly, it just made them have an shcizophrenic episode. MAPS is researching LSD, Psycoblin (Shrooms), and Mescaline as medicine to cure things like depression, ptsd, and bipolar.
http://www.maps.org/
slimjim321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're wondering whether you're the type of person likely to have a bad trip but are curious nonetheless, Id start with a very high dose of weed as a tester. If you have a bad time on that probably best to stay away from psychedelics, at least for the time being. Of course the safest option would be to not take anything
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
denzil_holles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's scary. What's your experience with HPPD?
Tattered_Colours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't everything affect your mental state? Reddit alters your mood like a motherfucker. It makes you happy, sad, angry, and all other sorts of things.
captain_manatee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I mean. Pot can increase your reaction time, make you paranoid. Psychoactive drugs can make you see things that aren't there. I guess my point is that these are the sorts of things that would have 'do not operate heavy machinery' warnings if you had a prescription.
Tattered_Colours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but I think you'd also prefer a guy who was pissed or crying wasn't operating heavy machinery either.
I know what you're trying to say though. Natural changes in mood aren't anything compared to drug-induced changes, let alone hallucinations and other drug effects.
turtlepuberty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the time ive spent redditing at work instead of making money has cost me more than lost time from hangovers or all those drug orgies ive attended.
mobiledditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disagree. Out of all the hard drugs that can ruin your life, karma is like number 3. The amt of unproductivity reddit creates is devastating.
FeverishPuddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is it true that pot is categorized in the same category as heroin?
captain_manatee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it is schedule 1 like heroin, whereas cocaine and PCP are schedule 2, but it looks like penalties aren't as harsh?
FeverishPuddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"except marijuana"
wow, 40 years for a second offense.
that's ridiculous, that's around 15,000 days.
I feel like, with certain exceptions, drug penalties shouldn't be more than a year in prison. I feel like a year in a shitty ass place is a good enough time out.
amberrr626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% You can become addicted to being high and disconnecting yourself from the world around you. Although it's not an addictive substance, using it in excess could cause depression, anxiety, and in some extreme cases schizophrenia(usually if the person has a family history of it or it is dormant)
MattDaCatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd totally say that I was addicted to weed, I thought i needed it to be calm and happy (anxiety problems). I won't go into the details but basically I was high the majority of this past year (and every day from Dec-May).
However, I've since moved and have been sober, switching from weed and gaming to bass/guitar and coding. If this had been legal alcohol or narcotics, I could easily be dead or in rehab.
Yes I know, no addiction is always greater than the alternative. Sadly that's not how it works, many in my position have become alcoholics or suicidal. I was just unproductive
probablyhrenrai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I though the issue with one of those hallucinogens (shrooms, I think) was that you can a relapse completely without warning at any time after your first experience. This is what makes me stay the hell away from shrooms.
Please correct me if the above is bullshit or inaccurate. I'd love to be wrong here.
Mackelsaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In regards to your edit, I'd like to highlight that some activities and genetic predispositions can put someone in significantly different mental states, such as addictions to gambling or shopping specifically, or (more broadly) anything to an extreme where it precludes productivity you would have attained otherwise.
Ex: Netflix and other videos; WoW, SecondLife, Facebook games/apps, The Sims, and other (multi?)player social experiences; Reddit and other forms of reading (electronic or otherwise).
aerosol999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I very occasionally indulge in coke or opiates. Maybe once or twice a year for both.
rick_rolled_you ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. An addiction to reddit CAN be worse then an addiction to non-chemically addictive drugs. It just matters how it effects your quality of life and functionalbility. I might be psychologically addicted to marijuana, but the addiction only effects my ability to sleep, thus, I must ingest before going to bed. Thats not a bad addicition. Now, I may be addicted to reddit, and I put off school work, or eating, or going outside, or other responsabilities. It all depends on how each addiciton effects your way of life.
Also, I'm aware of my many spelling errors.
Iamadinocopter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would say that being addicted to pot is on a far different level than addicted to reddit.
WordSalad11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A little less than 10% of people can become chemically addicted to pot. This "pot can never be addictive" meme needs to die.
SliferTheExecProducr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who thinks LSD is addictive has never done LSD. Acid is fucking exhausting, both mentally and physically.
efe13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I don't get on reddit I'll die from physical withdrawals.
armontrout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. I recently got into an argument with a guy on here not long ago when I said my brother was addicted to weed. He 1000% is but no, weed is non habit forming, totally safe and natural.
It's not always safe, it can def be habit forming and you know what else is natural? Bears. Would you smoke a bear? I wouldn't.
I'm also very pro marihuana. Smoked it for years and even dealt for a while in college. But had to quit for my job and the birth of my son. But it's ruining my brothers life because he's to stubborn to see that he has a problem.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even the ones that are 'chemically addictive' aren't, if people are satisfied with how things in their life are.
If you don't believe me, read this.
captain_manatee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to me that the underlying assumption under that article is that 'if chemical addiction was true, it would be totally impossible to kick the habit.' If you accept the idea that it could be possible, but difficult to quit, then it makes sense even with the existence of 'chemical hooks' as the author calls them.
The human brain is incredibly complicated, and I don't claim to fully understand it, no one does. But I'm pretty sure there are many reward and other neuro-receptor pathways in the brain. A lot of these have to do with social aspects. I think that's why people are capable of going to such extremes for loved ones, will do crazy things in cults, and why we in general enjoy social interaction. There is something behind the 'life is a drug' statement.
But it is also true that drugs, especially some of the 'harder' ones mess with your brain chemistry. It is totally possible to then find other things in life that being you pleasure and kick the habit, but your brain is still altered so that those things don't give you as much pleasure compared to the drug. If those other things drop, former addicts will turn back to the drugs much faster than someone else will pick them up. My friends uncle kicked heroin, got married, had a happy life clean for years. Had a shitty weekend, relapsed and OD'd.
I read that article as saying that there are a lot of positive things in life that we can harness to help motivate addicts to quit. We can help them through love rather than punishment. But discounting the chemical processes that underly many drug addictions is dangerous.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:04 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally understand what you're saying.
Having bipolar myself, I know all too well what happens when your neurochemistry gets altered/becomes out of whack. It messes with you and your thought patterns so much, and the way it makes you feel is not something that you can magically snap out of.
However, I do believe that the article is partially correct - it would be easier for people to quit drugs if they were happier in themselves. There would be less need for them to have a 'crutch'.
I'm no expert either, but wouldn't a person's neurochemistry change, and become more normalised if they stopped taking a drug for a long period of time?
TelegraphSexOperator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Food. So many people use food as their drug of choice. Stress eaters are everywhere. Obesity is a raging epidemic in many countries.
BetterButterflies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol those people clearly haven't actually tried the drugs they speak of.
wenaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, when I smoke weed, I'm usually walking a dog, out hiking, bout to play some sports and when I reddit, I'm not doing anything good for me. Although, there are fair arguments for every side.
Yimms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How? If I waste 5 hours on reddit or 5 hours being high what's the difference? Who's even to say that time is wasted? Addiction is only defined when a behavior negatively impacts your life and yet you do it continuously.
skullturf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marijuana in particular is probably not as bad for you as alcohol. Excessive marijuana use does have some health risks, but so does junk food, caffeine, lack of exercise, and so forth.
josiahpapaya ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:57:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who smoke weed from the moment I woke up til the moment I went to bed for 4 years straight, has taken lots of shrooms and LSD - people who say that they're not addictive are idiots and they're living in denial.
I could understand with LSD and Psilocibin Shrooms because those drugs lose their potency when taken close together and sometimes they can lose their effect on you altogether.
Pot, however, is probably one of the most addictive substances I know.
Pro-pot activists will tell you all day "It isn't chemically addictive" or "there's no evidence" or whatever, but ask any non-smoker who is the parent, spouse, sibling or best friend of a wake-n-baker and they will tell you it is unquestionably addictive.
When potheads run out of dope the very first thing they do is go get more.
When potheads run out of dope and don't have money, the first thing they do is make arrangements with friends.
When potheads run out of dope and don't have money and their friends aren't willing to make arrangements with them, they'll let their cellphone bill go unpaid or bite the bullet and tell their landlord they can't make rent this week.
I personally believe this is why it's taking so long for North America to get their shit together with responsible drug legislation - the people who are smoking it aren't being honest with themselves or the community.
It wasn't until I got a job in Asia where smoking weed is extremely prohibited and punishable by many years in prison and tens of thousands of dollars in fines that I stepped out of the haze. I literally had been high as a fucking kite for the past 4 years right up until the day before I got on the plane... and for the first 2-3 months off the stuff it's all I thought about.
I didn't wanna watch movies, play video games, go out for dinner - cause they just didn't seem like fun if I wasn't high before them. It took me a while to really realize how addicted I was to smoking weed.
So even if there's no physical dependency, weed is still a highly addictive substance. I don't think it's a bad thing necessarily, but I do think it's problematic when potheads act like they could just put down the pipe and walk away if they wanted to.
HungNavySEAL300Kills ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah only drugs can take over ones mind and destroy ones body leading to an inferior quality of life and shortened lifespan, as an obese American I can cut back any time
Delsana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:58:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There aren't arguments. There is hard core evidence that no one informed argues against. There's hundreds of types of addictions and Cannabis maintains high habitual, psychosomatic, social, obsessive and other such addictions.
Reddit addiction would relate towards internet or social reward giving situational addictions. Those are terrible. People don't get smart by going to Reddit or staring at their phone all day. We don't trade in facts, research, logic, or intelligent pursuits on this site. The internet barely knows what research is other than those places you were told to go for your research paper you likely didn't do properly.
kernunnos77 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:13:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is affected differently by drugs, including the their proclivity for addiction.
Most of society only realizes someone uses heavy drugs when the user is heavily addicted, so a lot of the stigma comes from that.
Also, addicts in recovery tend to blame the lion's share of their former actions on the drugs, to assuage guilt / remove personal responsibility.
kivaariHelix ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 16:05:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the drug. Most drugs aren't immediately addicting so it is manageable to use them in moderation.
frazaod ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:10:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I tried the weed once, and now I inject it by the pound.
kivaariHelix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it really keeps you active and dancing all night. I gotta eat some cocaine afterwards to calm down.
blamb211 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:21:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once injected three whole marijuanas. I died.
Notapunk1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can quit any time I want.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kivaariHelix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Ozzy Osbourne?
josh-dmww ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:04:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is he the one who bit a boat's head off while on drugs during one of his concerts?
EDIT: Damn it, bat's head off
kivaariHelix ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:06:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?!
Edit: Oh you mean "bat". Yeah that's him. He also has a very extreme drug tolerance
josh-dmww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing that he's still cognizant enough to form complete sentences, to be honest.
Runningwithvanhalen ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 16:38:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah hallucinogens aren't physically addictive, they can make you freak out and try to kill someone though if your not careful.
ouchimus ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:49:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think most hallucinogens will do that.
Runningwithvanhalen ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 16:57:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who said most?
ouchimus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You just said hallucinogens generally, implying most/all.
Runningwithvanhalen ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 17:28:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hallucinogens are defined as "A psychoactive agent which can cause hallucinations, perception anomalies, and other substantial subjective changes in thoughts, emotion, and consciousness." Do you disagree?
ouchimus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:51:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...huh? How is that at all relevant?
Runningwithvanhalen ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The very definition of a hallucinogen is that it fucks with a your mind. I don't see anything that guarantees it will always give you good hallucinations.
Buffalkill ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never tried 'em eh? Even a bad trip won't make you want to kill people, you're still rational. Except for possibly Salvia and some of the other research chemicals out there today....those probably shouldn't be legal.
smacbeats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:25 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Salvia is a plant, and should indeed be legal. By itself, it's a very mild drug. It's when you ave people extracting the pure chemicals out of it dozens of times over that you get something so powerful that you lose yourself for a few minutes. The worst I've ever seen on that though is my mate just started saying sorry and feel to the ground and cried til the drug wore off. That was a large bong hit of 40x or 60x salvia I think.
Buffalkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:28 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't know what it was about the stuff I tried. It looked like dried plant leaves so I assumed that there wasn't much tampering with it chemically. One huge bong rip later and I no longer saw anything that was in front of me. I was in a completely different place and if I didn't have my friend watching me I would almost definitely have hurt myself. I could go into more detail about what I saw and felt but it almost sounds ridiculous. I assure you it happened though!
smacbeats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:10 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible it may have been sprayed, like they do with that legal shit(some of it's now illegal i think), or stronger rating, or maybe the experience just varies. Doesn't surprise me too much though, really high strength salvia can do that
If you're keen to share more of the story I'm keen to listen.
Buffalkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:17 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sure. The funny thing is this was about 10ish years ago when Salvia wasn't very well known. So I bought some "10x" stuff from a store called Hot Rags in my local mall. It actually came in a purple container that had the text "Purple Sticky Salvia" engraved into it.
I'll also say that this wasn't the first time I had tried salvia, but the times before this one we didn't use a torch lighter or take nearly as big of a hit from a bong... so the previous trips were mostly just laughing attacks, mild visuals, and all around pretty euphoric for 5-10 mins.
Now this time it was just me and my friend and we wanted to do it right so we got a bong with a deep bowl and loaded it to the brim. We had also heard using a torch lighter on salvia will enhance the effects due to the higher heat or something? (No idea how true that is!) Before smoking we had discussed that while tripping we shouldn't try to walk around since you have really terrible motor functions on salvia.
So my friend goes first and completely cashes out the bowl and hands me the bong right away so as not to break it. After a few seconds he starts laughing for no reason that I can tell and IMMEDIATELY tries to stand up and walk around. I kept a hand on his shoulder and made sure he wasn't going to get up and hurt himself. He was staring off into space and not reacting to me at all at this point. So I eventually sense he's starting to come down and I let him kind of stand up and walk around while making sure he didn't fall. He eventually sits down on the ground and starts cracking up again pointing at my computer chair that he was just sitting in and asks me "Can you just tell me... what that thing is?" Shortly after this he started to come out of it and acted normal again. Pretty crazy to see how he acted and after he came down he told me that during the trip he saw a giant log cabin wall that seemed to go on forever and he couldn't move past it... we kind of think me holding him back in his chair had something to do with the giant wall that was in his way lol.
So now it's my turn and I'm thinking I'll be fine since I've done it at least 5 or 6 times before this. So we did the same thing, I cashed out the bong and he took it from me. I remember starting to laugh and then everything changed. I had NO recollection of having smoked salvia so in my mind everything was real. Instead of my basement I saw an entire field with tall grass blowing in the wind and a perfect stream going through the field. At the end of the stream was a row boat and a man who was beckoning me to come to the boat. (SERIOUSLY not making this up. never had anything like this happen to me before with any other psychadelic.) He apparently kept me from walking around as I don't remember much else after seeing that. At some point after I couldn't walk around my vision kind of went white and I saw a black line coming down in the center of my vision... when it hit the bottom of my line of sight it started to swirl like soft serve ice cream coming out of a machine. My brain then saw the swirl slowly morph into a computer chair and I could see myself sitting back relaxing in the chair... So I guess it was my first and only out of body experience. Really messed up! I came out of it shortly after that and just had a mild body high for a few more minutes.
Overall... I don't think I would even try salvia again after that insanity! But at least I didn't have a bad trip and overall it was quite the experience! I can definitely see how people can severely injure themselves or even die on a drug like that!
This was the brand that I bought!
supahotfyah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really then why would people take them ever? Because when used correctly they provide a positive experience, with minimal harm to them or others around them.
smacbeats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:46 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you know what you're talking about, kid.
Hallucinations != fucking with your mind.
If you take LSD, you don't see dragons and fairies and pink elephants. You need to take massive doses of LSD to experience the phenomena of other entities. And at that high of dose, your body is incapacitiated. You're lying, on a couch, with your eyes closed, unable to move. When you do get to the point where you can move again, you don't want to because you're so exhausted you'd rather just lay there and be entertained by the beautiful colors, geometric shapes, and the thought processes of your mind.
TheJasonSensation ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:01:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think any of them will do that in significant enough quantities to even mention.
Runningwithvanhalen ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 17:20:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"A hallucinogen is a psychoactive agent which can cause hallucinations, perception anomalies, and other substantial subjective changes in thoughts, emotion, and consciousness." The problem is when you have a bad trip and freak out, not take too many. Honestly there pretty safe anyway, I was pointing out not all drugs are addictive.
TheJasonSensation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean take too many. I meant a reaction like that would not occur in enough people to make it worth mentioning, imo.
kivaariHelix ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They can still be psychologically addictive though. I am aware you probably know that just wanted to point it out, so people don't think it's impossible to get addicted to them.
Inthecourt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That would only happen if you are prone to a psychotic or neurotic break in the first place. Either it be family history of mental illness or if you are not right in the head to begin with.
audi_fanatic ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:14:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some are extremely addictive, don't do those ones. The rest of them are ok as long as you can keep yourself from becoming psychologically addicted to the high they give you.
For instance, most people who smoke weed do so not because they have to, but because they want to. If they no longer wanted to, they would stop. Heroin, on the other hand, has a lot of users that really want to stop, but they just have to have their fix.
Stay away from the heroin-like drugs and keep your head in the right place, and a lot of drugs can make for a really fun day/night with great friends without it taking over your life!
YarnSpinner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:23:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People always seem to assume when someone says "drugs" they mean pot, shrooms, and acid, which are more benign than say coke, meth, heroine, etc.
goldeagle9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:37:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So long as you don't have a really addictive personality, a good amount of things are fine in moderation. It's just a bullshit social stigma that all drugs are immediately addictive.
nellis_island ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
CrunchatizeMe_Capn was referring to the fact that many people who browse Reddit are not "professional businessmen." Not saying this in a bad way, but a lot of Reddit users are more common folk who probably work in construction, food industry, and similar jobs. In these types of jobs, you aren't looked down upon for responsibly using drugs. A lot of people use drugs so there's no social stigma around it. A 45 year old district manager of a tech company is not likely to be smoking weed on the weekends because of the social stigma around "doing drugs" and being a "stoner." If other people knew he used drugs, even responsibly, he would be looked down upon and his career would be lessened.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of. They vary a bit though and it mostly has to do with why you're using instead of what.
Like I've used coke, mdma, opioids, and a couple pysches in the past. But in those situations it was to improve upon an experience or just to try out the headspace. I haven't used any of those in over two years and don't miss them at all.
But weed? I used it whenever i was bored and/or to suppress feelings and I'm jonesing hard for it every day that i don't use it.
Rachellybean ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a drug user for the past 15 years I can tell you that drugs most certainly can be used in moderation. I have used almost everything with the exception of opiates and have not become dependent in any way.
Coke was hard to say no to when a party was going on but I could turn it down any day of the week. Meth was not addictive to me nor were hallucinogenic drugs. Pot makes me lazy and I don't really like that feeling unless I am trying to sleep.
I am a very productive member of society and am actually better off than 90% of the people I know. Drugs have a stigma and it was mostly manifested in the 1960's with Regan. Humans are creatures of habit and the habits whether they be shopping, gambling, drinking, gaming or drugs. Are very hard to break, you are not so much addicted to the substance as you are to the routine. If you do not allow drugs to become routine you will be 100% fine. I know I am.
i3igNasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some are, some are not.
Government and society has them under a blank of "are".
strangeelement ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Strong addiction rates are much lower than the myths around them. Even cocaine, crack and heroin don't have more than 40% addiction rates and are mostly used occasionally. Problem is, you don't know which side of this stat you'll fall in and you may be among those who get hooked immediately and overwhelmingly.
intensely_human ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This could be said of sugar or fat too but nobody considers someone a deviant or a failure for saying they enjoy sweets or cheeseburgers
chuckdiesel86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've done marijuana, cocaine, mushrooms, caffiene, and nicotine. In my experience, cocaine is about as addictive as caffeine, maybe a tad more, and nicotine is the most addictive thing I've tried. Nicotine is also the only thing I regret doing.
I know people that have done heroin and i would never touch the stuff, it seems to be HIGHLY addictive. The biggest issue I have is addicts are thrown in jail for a short period to "clean up" but don't receive any treatment, so they end up right back on drugs when they get out. It would be cheaper and more effective to close some prisons and open rehab facilities in their place. Other countires have had success with treatment over incarceation. I think they keep prisons around because they want to keep money in that sector. It has nothing to do with protecting people or even trying to keep people off drugs.
DontShadowbanMeAgain ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:52:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I snorted heroin nearly daily for 2 months and decided to stop and it worked without problems. Cigarettes on the other hand are a really bad habit.
chuckdiesel86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy's dad and step-mom used to snort heroin. It wasn't until they started main-lining that things took a turn. The sad part is that his dad started on opiates because that's what he was prescribed for back pain. Then his doctor got busted for writing bad scripts and they cut him off from opiates cold turkey. Right before he ODed, he would pass out standing up, while in the middle of a conversation. He actually ODed twice but my buddy found him the first time and saved him.
Purkkaviritys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, since they are forbidden, they don't exactly come with a manual.
DontShadowbanMeAgain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had a phase where i experimented a lot with various natural and chemical drugs.
Just a phase. Like all my friends that used to go clubs with me every weekend.
Once you get to know a lot of drug users you realize how hard you really have to try to get addicted.
myotherotherusername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it depends entirely on the drug. You don't have to try very hard to get addicted to opiates. All you need is a readily available supply and a few weeks.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this were actually the issue, I don't think alcohol and cigarettes would be legal.
TheLastSparten ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
They shouldn't be legal, but it didn't go so well last time they tried banning alcohol.
Dyron45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol is addictive too.
Ceegee93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of stuff that is freely available is addictive or harmful.
I think the reason people get so up in arms about drugs being legalised is because there's a massive double standard when it comes to some drugs vs alcohol/tobacco.
HazMat68W ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pot is the main one people condone. And it isn't highly addictive like hard drugs, such as cocaine.
cactuscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of them aren't addictive, though there can be other negative effects. A blanket ban isn't necessarily a consistent approach given how many deaths occur due to alcohol and road traffic accidents. It is possible to do some drugs safely, have a good time and continue to be a productive member of society. A hell of a lot of legally prescribed drugs are dangerous and/or addictive, but it's deemed ok for medical use, but not just for pleasure. Why is that?
One issue with illegal drugs is that you don't have quality control, that makes them risky and is something legalisation could fix.
Part of the problem is talking about "drugs" instead of specific substances. Heroin is very different to pot which is very different to psilocybin. Why does alcohol get special treatment?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ice smoked weed and taken e/molly and had a great great time in all settings. But never crave for then and never rely on them.
I can dance like a maniac without drugs, molly just makes me even better about everything, and makes me feel lights to a degree etc.
Coconnell1396 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of drugs are non addictive. Weed, acid, shrooms, etc, are common non addictive drugs that have no long term debalitating effects as far as we know. Even addictive drugs such as coke and heroin can be tolerated, but moderation is really key with these. It's easy to get sucked into the addiction and then it becomes a need. I think reddit is pretty pot friendly, which is what most people are saying when they say "drugs".
Demonweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To start "the issue" is largely propaganda. Fearmongering that typically begins in elementary school is based on the kind of crazy mythologies that narcotics enforcers tell one another to justify their horrific abuses of power. Journalists get ratings by doing stories on the big bad scary drug problem, not by sticking to fact-based scientific content.
Then there are the underlying social problems. Poverty, homelessness, and the borderline sadism of management at most unskilled and semi-skilled workplaces -- often "addicts" are actually medicating for real underlying stress and pain beyond what would be so abundant in a sane and prosperous society. Weeks of "drugs are bad, mmkay" seminars aren't going to accomplish much if the "addict" is thrown right back into the same pit of despair at the end of rehab. What is often called "relapse" is more sensibly regarded as a return to self-medication when faced with no other means of escaping routine misery.
In short, drugs are a scapegoat for realities created by short-sighted greed. For decades our society endured one crackdown after another, always creating the illusion that authorities were good guys doing something noble when in fact they were compounding problems heaped upon the least fortunate of our citizens. Success with decriminalization in Portugal reflects the reality that not making economic problems even more severe by (sometimes literally) beating up on desperate people is a step in the right direction.
That's not to imply that chemical addiction is entirely a fantasy. I take more than one medication that has severe withdrawal symptoms when a large dose is quit abruptly. Much of the legend of opiate withdrawal, even some measure of organ damage, can be attributed to a life of managed stress giving way to a live of unrelenting suffering. However, some underlying reality of damage done by the abrupt shift from lots of opiates in the system to no opiates is likely a real thing. Even so, the archetype (and reality) of the frantic junkie lashing out in desperation for his next fix is more a function of the need to escape a shitty economic predicament than the phenomenon of chemical addiction.
MasterBaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park
Interesting series of experiments on the subject. It was done on rats tested the hypothesis that addiction is, to some extent, a product of environment.
YOUNGJOCISRELEVANT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue with them is that the majority of them are just fantastic. When you learn how much you can handle of a certain drug at any given time, then you can keep using them all day to maintain a decent buzz and be in a constant good mood. Then you find yourself smoking all day, drinking all day, snorting coke or blues (w/e your preference). If you can keep your composure with a drug in your system, then you can easily convince yourself to do stupid shit like show up to work on them or drive
Golanthanatos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a sane, rational, adult does one recreational dose of a drug once, there is essentially zero change of addiction.
smokemonmast3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Read a study somewhere that said the "relapse rate" (% of users that go on to be addicts) is something like 25% for Heroin and Tobacco. That's a lot lower than culture would have you believe.
Buffalkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of like how alcohol is addicting and difficult to keep under moderation for many?
TheLastSparten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but remember what happened last time they tried banning alcohol.
Buffalkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well how about we don't ban alcohol and instead make other drugs regulated like alcohol!
xdert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most "soft" drugs (like pot, lsd, mdma) aren't really addicting in the physical sense and even things like heroin are way less addicting than the media makes you think. It's not like you take one shot and suddenly start sucking cocks for another one.
For the soft drugs, it's more about the person than the substance, some people are addicted to the internet, computer games or gambling while other enjoy it just fine. Just because your neighbor lost everything because he was addicted to gambling doesn't mean we have to make gambling illegal. The same goes for drugs in my opinion.
Tenoxica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the big problems that comes with harder drugs is the social stigma that comes with them. See, everyone drinks beer, but everybody makes sure they're no alcoholic. They don't drink too often, only drink at noon, and so on. With harder drugs often times your social surroundings change, and all of a sudden it's completely normal to be high as a kite from when you get eventually up to when you'll fall down unconscious wherever you are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most drugs aren't instantly addictive. It is possible to use drugs once a month. For example, have a great time, and not develop am addiction. Even cocaine is something I see people use very occasionally when they want a wild night and not develop a habit.
TheBlackSpank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We've already got alcohol and cigarettes. One of them is designed to be addictive, and the other is frequently not kept under moderation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's also dependent on the personality of the individual. Some people just don't have a problem with addiction - it can't beat their will power.
For example my wife smoked for a long time and quit like it was nothing. I've seen my parents struggle with it for decades.
On another note, when you have a hole to fill inside, filling it with drugs is not the answer.
ripatmybong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like pretty much everything else in the world, you can always overindulge...not a great reason to never do something
apoliticalinactivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're very representative of most people. Which highlights the importance of education vs. "drugs are bad, mkay."
Using the DARE program as an example: It was a notable failure, as it was essentially an abstinence program, ie. "Just say no". The problem was that it treated all drugs the same, so when kids tried smoking or pot with positive experiences, they thought they were lied to and then proceeded to try harder stuff and got seriously addicted.
There are worlds of differences in how drugs affect your body in how they are taken and in what quantities. The classic example is crack-cocaine vs. powdered cocaine as crack has a much stronger and addictive effect vs powdered, which is reflected in its image in the media (desperate street junkies doing various immoral things for crack, while wall street traders doing a line of coke at work).
The other replies to your comments show that the blanket definition of "drugs" is varied.
Thrill_Of_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know many people that don't use drugs in moderation. Its just like marijuana or alcohol, know your limits, know when to quit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people think we should treat the negative health affects of drugs (such as addiction) as a public health problem, rather than a criminal problem.
Personally, I think all drugs (yes, all drugs) should be legal. Prohibition doesn't work. Period. Never has and never will.
gibson_se ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is just from my own observations, but drugs don't seem to be nearly as addictive as I was taught in school.
Out of maybe fifteen people that I know use drugs, there's one person with excessive consumption. That one person had an absent father, alcoholic mother who neglected her, dropped out of high school and has been raped. After all this fun stuff, a bit more amphetamine and alcohol than is healthy helps her like her life a bit more.
All the other users I know are well adapted people, and they use cannabis, mdma, cocaine, acid, and some other stuff. There's no trouble keeping consumption at a reasonable level. If for whatever reason they couldn't do any drugs for six months, no biggie.
Meanwhile, convincing any other friend to give up alcohol for even two months would require a significant monetary incentive.
Br0ski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only hear about the failed users, not the ones who have their shit together
albygeorge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course then you get to ask someone why they are illegal because they are addictive yet tobacco is legal, just as addictive and cancerous and watch them squirm.
Most honest answer, drugs are illegal because of puritanical morally self righteous people and the pro drug people do not have enough money to donate to politicians to overcome that, but the tobacco industry does. That and the fact that the pharmaceutical companies spent money also to keep anything they can't charge for illegal.
arefx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it comes down to the drug. I live me some psychadelics and weed, but I'm not going to trip every day, week, or even month. Psychadelics for example aren't something people tend to get addicted to, and are relatively harmless to your body health wise, yet there's drugs like meth that destroy your body and are extremely physically addicting.
stereofailure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The majority of users for all drugs, even the ones generally thought of as "hard" (a completely arbitrary and non-scientific descriptor) are not addicts. It is relatively easy for most people to use most drugs responsibly if they desire to. Unfortunately, due to certain drugs being illegal, the responsible users have to hide their use and the general public only sees the worst case scenarios.
HODOR00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well when you say drugs, realize that spans a very broad spectrum.
Id say most redditors are ok with Weed. But that doesnt mean we all are shooting up heroine.
graebot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs that exists, and it is a huge problem, but only a small portion of people who drink are alcoholics. Same with drugs. You don't hear about all the people who take drugs without issues, you only hear about the few where things go wrong.
spidy_mds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think OP ment that if, for example, you smoke 1 cigarette per 6 month, isn't that considered moderation? That's how I understood it at least.
7HawksAnd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy has an interesting take on it with lab mice to support his argument. I'm just some idiot on the internet so some doctor is gonna have to expound one way or the other.
The gist is, addiction is a byproduct of the boredom that comes with poverty.
The poor resort to drugs as the one mental escape they can afford while the affluent use it to augment their already active lifestyles and look at as more of a booster shot than the main activity.
Lab mice with no play toys in the cage used the cocaine drip until they died. Lab mice with plenty of toys and activities in the cage still used it, but not all the time and not to death.
There's far more nuance and citing to his argument than that, but that's kind of the lay mans summary.
https://books.google.com/books?id=xkyLgbIyk4IC&printsec=frontcover&dq=carl+hart+drug+addiction&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCcQ6AEwAGoVChMIiLrp6IDZxgIVSHg-Ch3qqgCc#v=onepage&q=carl%20hart%20drug%20addiction&f=false
Dumebuggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you let them get out of hand they become a problem. That being said, most drug habits can be kept in check and different people get addicted easier/faster than others.
I've known people who have been cocaine users but have kept it in check and haven't become 'addicted' to it. They used it occasionally and never felt the need for it.
Other drugs like weed, mushrooms, lsd and even MDMA aren't chemically addictive and are great and safe for people if they know what they're doing. I smoke a lot of weed, basically every day, but I wouldn't say I'm addicted. I enjoy it and do it because I enjoy it. If I run out, I may have to wait a few days to a week to get more but it really doesn't bother me.
In all honesty most negative stigma revolving around softer drugs (weed, mushrooms, lsd to an extent) comes from the social aspect and the fact that all drugs are considered bad because there are some pretty bad drugs out there (heroin, meth, etc.)
If you're curious about drugs, I would take a gander over at /r/drugs or /r/trees if you're interested. Trees is the aubreddit for marijuana and drugs is drugs. /r/trees is probably one of the nicest, most tolerating communities I've seen on reddit! Not too sure about /r/drugs as I'm not there too often.
getlit_flobert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of drugs aren't that addictive. Not being sober is very addictive though, which really just goes back to how people need to work on themselves or being doing something more with their lives. If you spend 9 hours a day getting drunk, so the minute you get off work till you pass out, you have a problem. If you spend 15 minutes getting high and then clean your house, cook dinner, go take your grandma to the store, and get ready for the next day, society has a problem.
Clothing_Mandatory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The caffeine in your coffee or soda is more addicting than most other drugs.
SirSamuelTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look into the studies done by Dr.Carl Hart. 80-90% of people who use drugs like meth or crack dont get addicted. addiction is alot more dependent on social circumstance than it is the drug itself. thats not to say some drugs arent more addicting than others, they are, but the people who are likely to get addicted are people who dont have much to care about, like the homeless or troubled teens, as apposed to people who have alot of things going for them, like a wife, kids or a good job, who have things they put in front of and value more than the drug. and even self described addicts will take cash (which they cant spend for a certain period of time, meaning they arent just accepting the cash so they can go get more drugs) over a certain sized dose of their drug of choice.
Riztonium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
80-90% of people who try drugs don't go on to become addicts.
http://m.democracynow.org/stories/14124
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly most recreational drugs aren't addicting at all other than paychological addiction, which if that's an issue for you than it's most likely not an issue related to drugs at all.
Reinbert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just wanted to point out that alcohol and tobacco are also (very strong and unhealthy) drugs, so you could make an argument why these 2 serious drugs are legal while other serious drugs (like heroin and coke - which are even worse) or not so serious drugs (like weed, kat, ecxtasy, lsd, shrooms etc) are illegal. It has a solely historical background, so there is no good reason to not change it other than peoples bias towards alcohol and cigarets
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are many fun drugs that aren't addicting, but they do wear you out a bit, and you can tell that you shouldn't over use them.
2c-b is basically the ultimate "fun drug". It's not addictive, maaaaybe psychologically so some people, maybe.
There are no known negative side effects.
There is no hangover.
The high lasts 5 or 6 hours, or so, enough for a good time, but without losing it's welcome.
It's cheap.
This is probably why it has exploded in popularity in the last few years.
(No, it's not a bath salt or any of that. It was made by the same guys who made MDMA, and has been around for about 45 years.)
johnsom3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have struggled with moderation. If I like something then I can overdue it from time to time. I have to limit myself to certain things in order to save myself from myself. For example I really only drink beer, because I love the taste of it and it's incredibly hard for me to get completely shittaced by it. Give me a bottle of liquor and I will drink half of it before I realize and next thing you know I'm hammered.
I like to smoke weed, but I have to limit the quantities I buy. It's the same thing with chips. I won't stop eating until the bag is done, so I just buy the .99-1.50 bag instead of the family size. That way when it's done it's done.
I guess you could say I have a addictive personality and because of that I would never even try harder drugs. Some people are able to do that shit and use it in moderation but I know I am not one of those people.
josiahpapaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have the receipts for this right now, so you're just gonna have to take my word for it, but I remember from taking Soc in university that studies have shown that more public and legal acceptance of recreational drugs leads to an overall decline in usage.
If there were no legal ramifications to doing drugs and you could do them everywhere/anywhere, then people who had substance abuse issues would be much more easily identified and it would lose the mystique. That's why lots of Dutch and Portugese people don't smoke weed, because if you can smoke weed anywhere/anytime, then they start to take on the appearance of slackers; they appear lazy and uncool. There's no badass factor associated with it at all - it's just normalized. It's kind of like how Americans perceive smoking cigarettes. People see someone smoking weed and are like, ooooh, you're one of THOSE people?
Also if you're able to freely do drugs as much as you want and they're legally available, it's also a lot easier to be pushed into drug treatment programs.
Take Heroin for example. If you had to go and buy your heroin from the drug store, then the computer keeps records of how much smack you're buying. Eventually they're gonna say,
"if you want to buy some, you have to sit and speak with a counselor and a physician about the amount you're consuming."
And if they still wanna ignore the advice of professionals and refuse rehabilitation then who cares? it shouldn't bother anyone if someone else gets addicted to a substance and refuses help. They shouldn't be punished for that.
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes they can be addicting psychologically or chemically like many things, but people without first hand experience have no benchmark against standard propaganda. They often see the possibility of addiction as significantly higher and more dangerous than it is in reality, due to a skewed and under-educated societal perception of various substances.
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eeeeeh, most of them arent really that addicting. You just need some self control. It's kinda like when there's a whole trey of brownies sitting around. Anyone could end up eating a few too many, but that doesnt mean people cant enjoy a couple from time to time.
Flater420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Some people have issues with not knowing when to stop drinking alcohol. Others don't.
Replace "alcohol" by drugs, playing video games, cleaning, eating unhealthy, sleeping, watching tv, speeding, fucking, ...
Anything needs to be done in moderation. It's your personal responsibility to keep yourself in check. Not anyone else's.
Yes, it's more difficult for things that have a physical addiction attached to them. But I've seen a friend who has had to deal with plenty of drug related addictions get clean, and then get addicted to runner's high, to a point where he kept wanting to go running when his leg was already hurt from running too much. Or pour himself over his job until he completely burned out.
For some people, it's not the physical addiction that gets them.
transmogrified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction is related much more with environment than the actual drug. Even the "addictive" drugs like meth and cocaine can be used recreationally with no long-term consequences. I've known people who use both recreationally and don't have any problems functioning otherwise. They can also stop using anytime they want and go through long periods of non-use with no issue.
Where most people go wrong is that addicts are normally self-medicating to get away from a life that sucks. They have other issues of which addiction is a symptom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but contrary to what they tell you, it takes a while to get addicted. So every time before that you're making a conscious choice.
45flight2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:39:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
do you seriously believe that getting addicted to a drug is easy?
SixteenSaltiness ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:52:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction has actually very little to do with the drug itself, and is more linked to your financial/emotional state in which you can take drugs and not feel the need to continue taking them because you are already fulfilled psychologically.
thund3rstruck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true. I'd lose my job if I were to be drug tested for some reason. Have worked hard to get here, wouldn't want to blow it just because I disagree with society. Which I do, just not enough to risk my career. Career > drugs.
TheatreNerdsUnite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, medical consequences that is.
Source: Arrested for having 2gs if weed
Occams_Lazor_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like what? Marijuana and that's it?
spencer102 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:52:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most psychedelics are safe in moderation. Shrooms, LSD (unless you have schizophrenia), etc are completely safe chemically.
KingHenryXVI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cocaine's a hell of a drug
Hoffman91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moderation never killed any one!
lobehold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get addicted to MMORPGs, I know I have bad self control so I don't do drugs.
Does that logic check out?
que_pedo_wey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is a chart of addictiveness and physical harm, and moderation strongly depends on addictiveness. Yes, they do have negative consequences.
TheAntagonisticDildo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I use heroin in moderation and I'm barely even dying!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You joke, but go read /r/heroin for a bit.
Charizhard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:38:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. Heroin is nothing to joke about. I have been clean for months but I still consider myself an addict. It is the one drug I believe that no one should ever try. I snorted the stuff once a day for a week and the next thing I know i am banging it. The high feels so good that it is extremely difficult not to do it again. I know many people who have ruined there lives over this drug. Please don't joke about it. People who are not hooked literally have no idea just how powerful of a hold this drug has over peoples actions and mind. Completely changes a person real fast.
uberguby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I correct in understanding that the drug used to treat heroine addiction, methodone, is even MORE addictive? Then there is that crocodile stuff that just... kills your flesh. You just start rotting, but the people just can't stop themselves. It's heart breaking.
spencer102 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Krokodil, it;s used in Russia. The drug itself isn't much different from any other opioid but it's produced in shitty run down "labs" by impoverished dopeheads, and usually ends up having all kinds of impurities that fuck up your body.
Charizhard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:11 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I do not have much personal experience with methadone but from what I do know about it, yes it can be more addicting and withdrawing from methadone is worse than heroin, even life threatening. I took suboxone to help me quit. When I stopped the suboxone I did go through mild withdraw symptoms but I was not shitting and throwing up all over myself.
Edit: didn't see your thingy about the crocodile stuff. I have heard of it but never knew anyone who tried it nor have I ever been around it
nahomboy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
plus reddit is liberal as hell
SilasTheVirous ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just a little heroin, I'l be fine really.
spencer102 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's a little bit of a difference between heroin and some weed or acid bruh
Trochna ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:59:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit overlooks a lot of the consequences for drugs. I was in a clinic for a month because of depression and there were a lot of young people who had problems because of their drug use. Sure, if you can actually only use it carefully it can be fun, even though this can also already a problem but for most people it becomes a regular thing.
waawftutki ยท 330 points ยท Posted at 15:39:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reddit user-base is mostly young progressive north american people, plus we're right in the middle of the drug legalization movement, slowly realizing most of them are actually safe and/or beneficial if used properly. It's a really big injustice that people are thrown in jail for possession still, so a lot of people tend to be outspoken about their support, which gives the site this "drug-friendly" attitude you saw.
awesomebman123 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:01:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say most are safe or beneficial but you are right they are no where near as bad as they are made out to be.
waawftutki ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:20:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If used properly was the important part. Opiates are awesome if you accidentally cut off a finger and need to take the pain away, it's another story when you shoot up heroin every day. A mushroom trip once or twice a year to give yourself a mental re-set and a new outlook on things is very good, but taking acid every other day might make you incompatible with the regular world.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:34:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Arbiter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Salt and fat are addictive?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes. we literally come out of the womb addicted to those substances. We need them in order to live.
Arbiter707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We sure do, but you seemed to phrase it like being addicted to them was a bad thing.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah, the typical american diet has developed a tolerance threshold for them and consumes far more than we ever should. If they were to ever cold turkey revert back to what our diets should be, they would have serious health problems.
Arbiter707 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that we would be fine. The body does not develop a dependence on excess sodium or fat as far as I know, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't for sugar either.
sparksfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:01 on July 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is 100% not true. I've stopped eating as much salt and cut out 90% of fat from my diet and I'm fine. There are no tolerance thresholds. There are no health problems aside from the one I'm fixing. And it wasn't gradual, it was just a one day sudden change.
It's about willpower. The other side of the spectrum is just too lazy to do anything to change it. Unmotivated because they don't see the developing problems behind not changing your diet from McDonald's burritos and hash browns to egg whites and oatmeal. I'll be honest sometimes I do think "Damn, I kinda want something salty," but I deal with that urge and don't act on it.
Semirgy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the middle? If anything, we're at the very beginning. Weed is still a schedule 1 CSA drug and is legal (with restrictions) in what, three states?
There's a long lonnnnng way to go before we hit the proverbial middle of drug legalization.
waawftutki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's accelerating though, I don't think we'll be another decade or two before most drugs are decriminalized or legalized
Semirgy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe (and this is a huge maybe) you'll see progress toward medical uses for LSD and what not, but we're a long lonnnnng ways away from being able to pick up heroin at 7-11. Never say never, but that's flat out not happening in the next 10-20 years.
Weed I could see being downgraded to a schedule 2 at some point in the near future but even that's going to take time.
thatdude52 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:16:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
see I don't get why people think drugs are dangerous. sometimes I just wanna eat some shrooms and watch my walls vibrate, I'm not harming myself or others
waawftutki ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:33:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It probably has a lot to do with the fact that we still use this word, "drugs", to define everything from coffee to DMT, and the fact that the word drug is almost always coupled with the word "abuse" or "addiction". Most people who have this "drugs are dangerous" stance are not even thinking about drugs, they're just propagating this meme out of habit. If you take some time to deconstruct the subject and explain the differences, a lot of people will actually agree with you.
BamesF ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:52:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Come on now, to say drugs are absolutely harmless is going way too far the opposite direction. There are negative effects from a lot of them if taken incorrectly or too often, and being in the state they create doesn't exactly make you smarter in the moment.
BlueFalcon89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And sometimes people don't want to be smarter in the moment, shouldn't that be their choice? Also, there are negative effects when you take many legally obtained substances incorrectly or too often ie. fast food, alcohol, tobacco, prescribed opioids, etc... If you consume a spoonful of nicotine or caffeine, you will die. On the contrary, there is no conceivable dose of THC or LSD that will lead to anything other than a bad day and/or a 16 hour nap.
BamesF ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:54:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, no one is arguing that it shouldn't be someone's choice or that it's more harmful than a lot of legal stuff. He says he doesn't know why people think it's dangerous though, and all I'm saying is that there are clear reasons why people do.
CaptnCarl85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I need mushrooms to control my cluster headaches. Nobody talks about legalizing medicinal shrooms.
tman_elite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because you're talking about shrooms while the "drugs are dangerous" crowd are talking about meth, crack, and heroin.
Turkenstocks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so crazy to think that we're in such a revolutionary time in history. The internet connecting the entire world in only an instant, religion at nearly an all time low, drugs becoming more and more accepted, gay people becoming more "normal" in the eyes of the public. It's so cool and surreal being alive in this pinnacle moment of human history.
413612 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention reddit is mostly white men in their 20s-30s and are thus less likely to face harsh(er) legal consequences compared to other minorities.
nursebad ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 15:46:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because so much of what we are taught about how terrible/addictive/insane drugs are simply isn't true. The drug trade, the war on drugs and drug cartels are terrible. Experimenting or regularly taking illegal substances in moderation and enjoying oneself in a responsible manner while doing so is not.
CantSeeShit ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:21:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone needs to experience mdma and then they'll see why moderate drug use is OK.
AHarderStyle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:45:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Although I definitely enjoy MDMA in moderation, I have a friend who tried it with me (safe environment, I used a test kit to confirm it was MDMA, I scaled out a safe amount) and got extremely anxious.
As with anything, some drugs just aren't for everyone. Alcohol and weed included.
delude23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:26:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found the older I get when I occasionally use drugs I get much more anxious than when I was younger and experimenting with drugs more frequently. I guess it is for the best though kind of gives me a reason to keep it in moderation.
nursebad ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:24:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree as long as what you are taking is ACTUALLY MDMA and you are doing it in a safe supportive environment.
CantSeeShit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:48:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, real mdma or mda and by supportive environment I hope you mean loud techno environment where you can dance and hug people.
Thy_Gooch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya really I babysat someone people for their first time and all they wanted to do was move around and they couldn't sit still or stop talking.
TGiFallen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like lsd more
BigAbbott ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. It's backlash from the ridiculous failure known as the "War on Drugs" and all the propaganda we were force-fed as children.
Linearts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, the drug cartels and the dangers of the current drug trade only exist because of the war on drugs. Economists have been pointing this out for decades but no one cared; it's only now that redditors are part of a young generation with others who have been thrown in jail for possession or known people who have been hurt by drug dealers that they're starting to become so outspoken.
Tumblr_PrivilegeMAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If people could buy their heroin from the government, it would be cheaper,safer, and the revenue could fund a medical solution to addiction.
delude23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As well as treating drug addicts not as criminals but as having a medical problem would go a long way to help people.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:14:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
drugs are bad, mkay?
Voldemort_5 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:03:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with that is that illegal drugs are typically illegal because they're addictive, and therefore you're probably not going to be responsible with them. It's possible, but if you've ever seen any story of a drug addict, you'll see they usually start off kind hearted, become pretty cool after starting, then become thieves and assholes, etc.
Ubley ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:39:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's not entirely true, a lot of drugs that are illegal AREN'T addictive eg, LSD, Marijuana, Mushrooms, MDMA and some others aren't really addictive chemically. In addition to this, addiction itself is massively mistreated in the world with putting addicts in prison as opposed to helping them via health services.
Also there's a newer theory of addiction which offers more reasoning as to why addiction should be a health issue.
nursebad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same problem with legal and prescribed medication. If you look into the history of why many narcotics and illegal substances were made illegal by the FDA you'll find a sordid history that often has little to do with addiction and more to do with the CIA, big government and corporate greed.
Voldemort_5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, now I understand..
commentingrobot ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:36:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit consists of mainly liberal young people, and its mainly liberal young people who do drugs. Reddit doesn't like the drugs it sees as harmful, like crack heroin and meth, probably in part because it is a different demographic that does those drugs.
Oracle_of_Knowledge ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:00:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That crack heroin is the worst.
commentingrobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speedballs all day yo, I don't know what you're talking about
cacanova ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:04:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was seriously beginning to think that everybody secretly smokes pot thanks to reddit
pohodo3 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:09:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone does
Mega_Dragonzord ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:42:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No we don't.
Tullydin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife definitely doesn't believe me about how many people smoke weed every day and you wouldn't know. She thinks everyone who smokes is a dingy stoner. It's not the majority of people but it's more than a couple.
delude23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live in the U.S. it is seen as weird if you don't smoke weed. People have grilled me and my girlfriend as to why we don't smoke quite a few times (we used to but quit a few years ago.) The culture here is pretty permeated with weed.
cacanova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I obviously wouldn't know thats why i said Reddit made me think everyone smoked, not that i somehow knew everyone smoked everyday based on the sample size of people ive encountered on reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meth used to have a lot more hate but I see a lot more people being comfortable with it.
Oregano69 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:39:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This may answer your question. Reddit is anonymous, and on the Internet so it's easy to voice opinions that would usually be shut down in a huge group of people. For example, atheism is a default sub on reddit and is a great place for atheists to come in mass to anonymously talk about things that could potentially be off putting for them to say at the dinner table. Same goes for most of the unconventional reddit montras, i.e. fat people hate, anti feminism, etc.
GoSaMa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Atheism hasn't been a default for a long time, i'm pretty sure.
Sophie19 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:51:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because adults should be able to decide what to put in their body.
Energy_Turtle ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:28:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but reddit acts like they're basically vitamins. People speaking ill of drugs are often downvoted heavily. Drugs can pretty easily ruin your life.
Nekotography ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:19:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People also really vary in how often people take things. Daily use of anything other than low-dose stimulants is, to me, unreasonable yet I could be considered a somewhat heavy polydrug user if I just gave a list of what I occasionally take. Admittedly, I've got a decently sized "oh-hell-no" list (meth, coke, opiates, PCP, DOx, NBOMe for starters). Anybody that I'd consider a competent drug user is living a full life independently of drugs and is too damn busy to partake all that often. I also really don't think people should partake of much prior to 25, but...
delude23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you want to do coke if you don't mind me asking? I find it to be way overrated for how much it costs, but it is good for staying awake while drinking at a party.
Nekotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So far as I can tell, its a more cardiotoxic, less alcohol-compatible, more expensive, more addictive shittier amphetamine with a worse comedown. I will give that it probably is a more euphoric experience, but not enough to balance out.
I'm moderately convinced that it's a Veblen good.
delude23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:47 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is a Veblen good?
Nekotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:23 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something where the price-demand relationship is reversed: as the price goes up, so does demand. Often to do with perceived quality being affected by price, and common in luxury goods.
MyOtherAltIsAHuman ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:55:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So can hamburgers and ice cream. Do you want the government telling you how much of them you're allowed to eat? There are two problems with drug prohibition:
You can't tell me I'm not allowed to have something because someone else couldn't handle it. That's not how a free country works.
The government is here to serve the people, not enslave them. Telling me I'm not allowed to have something because it might be bad for me is oppression. It's the nanny-state; the government treating people like children.
So, any time you see someone parroting anti-drug propaganda (which is really just showing a tiny percentage of drug users), people who are more educated about drugs are likely to downvote.
Energy_Turtle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:58:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this is pretty much what I'm talking about. Any time someone says anything negative about drugs (no matter how completely benign), someone chimes in with some pretty aggressive pro-drug talk. You not having easy access to your meth is not being enslaved by the government. Take some more drugs please and chill out.
MyOtherAltIsAHuman ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't do drugs, and you insinuating that I do meth is the core of the problem. Your ignorance enables the shithead tyrants who thinks they can save the world by telling everyone how to live. You're far more of a problem to society than any drug user.
Energy_Turtle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:31:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This shit is laughable. No wonder so few regular middle class people take the pro-drug movement seriously.
Nekotography ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:23:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's as if for some people there's no middle ground between "war on drugs, ban everything" and "ban nothing, not meth, not PCP, nothing".
Nekotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty strongly in favor of personal autonomy, but fuck heroin , meth, and PCP.
MyOtherAltIsAHuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know people who have done heroin and meth. I've known them for two decades. They're perfectly normal people who did drugs for a while and then grew up. No one I know has ever been to jail or overdosed, but stories like that don't make it to the news.
Is your attitude based on personal experience, or on popular propaganda?
And don't even get me started on how drug prohibition has completely failed to stop people from getting drugs.
Sophie19 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool, you don't have to do them.
I don't do drugs. That doesn't mean I want to enforce everyone else to not do drugs.
CapnSippy ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 21:42:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your choice to abuse drugs can ruin your life. Drugs have no intentions or agenda.
Energy_Turtle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:51:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. Drugs can pretty easily take that choice away. Addiction is a bitch. Few people aspire to be crackheads or alcoholics.
Nekotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, don't do opiates, meth, alcohol, coke/crack, or benzos and it's a totally different conversation?
CapnSippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit, you always have a choice. I'm all for the legalization of all drugs and ending this inane drug war, but I'm not stupid enough to blame an inanimate object on the happiness and well-being a conscious person. They made the choice to use and abuse a dangerous chemical over and over again, and they have to live with the consequences.
sparksfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:46 on July 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao have you ever been addicted to anything?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Addiction of drugs, in my experience, comes from being able to justify its use. The less they have to make a case against it, the more they're willing to try and advocate it.
Any usage of drugs is still considered abuse, but because people can't see the future repercussions at the present, it becomes easy to justify as just "having a good time."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because drugs cute cancer and Alzheimer's and depression and are just the best. DAE smoke weed every day? [400000] ayy lnao
Macismyname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pro people doing anything they want as long as it only affects them.
puffmonkey92 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
better question: why aren't you? I'm being accusatory, either. I'm curious. I figure that as long as they are doing it safely and responsibly, I see no difference between railing a line of coke and having 6 beers in a night.
ZEAL92 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's incredibly rare that someone uses any illegal substance is is strongly addicting "Safely and responsibly" for long. It's a no true scottsman fallacy, once a person starts using it irresponsibly and unsafely, you don't count them as part of your grouping of drug users.
procrastinating_nhil ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:33:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs aren't nearly as addicting as they are portrayed if you're a well adjusted person. And even if you do get addicted it should be a medical issue rather than a criminal one.
ZEAL92 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you implying that most people are well adjusted? And what does "well adjusted" mean anyway?
procrastinating_nhil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im just saying that if a regular guy tries cocaine or oxy or something he's not going to get addicted right off the bat unless he has undealt with personal issues. Also some drugs are almost impossible to get addicted too.
ZEAL92 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Source for that last bit? You can become dependent on almost anything, which is a form of addiction.
I've literally never seen anyone who advocates for the de-criminalization of all drugs require a mandatory psychological screening (to see if they are stable or 'well adjusted') before the person would have access to as much drugs as they want.
procrastinating_nhil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heroin, pretty much the most addictive drug, has a addiction rate of around 23%. Granted thats kinda high but keep in mind this is of the people that have gotten to a point in their life where they're trying heroin, probably having done many similar drugs prior. Its obviously not the "try it once and you're hooked for life every-time" thing people make it out to be. In the end its a matter of personal freedom, I can buy a gun and drive a car i should be able to choose what to put in my body.
ZEAL92 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is that rate being calculated? I'll admit that i've bought the koolaid as it relates to drug education in general, but I suspect that there isn't a lot of rigorous testing on how much heroin you can do until you're addicted. There are a lot of variable to account for in a situation like that, and i'd be interested to see their methodology, even if the studies was old or invalid for some other reason.
You don't have the right to drive, and your right to buy a gun is restricted in many places. I'd be amenable to a nuanced control of the currently illegal substances, given sufficient information to prove that they are not a public safety hazard (which is one of the facets of the reason why they are not legal now, among many) but I'm not sure if that could be applied to the rest of the US population.
double_ewe ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:10:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
is that true though?
ZEAL92 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 16:55:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my anecdotal experience, I haven't seen any studies that prove that there's a pattern of behavior that allows for responsible use of addictive substances, and a lot of studies that prove the opposite. Addiction is a compulsive behavior, and is chemically caused by most illegal substances.
You'd want to look at Portugal to find any studies, if they do exist.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol dude what does this phrase even mean
But real life though, if you think Caffeine, Alcohol, and Ciggarettes can be legal, it is downright hypocritical to have reservations about anything else. At risk of sounding a little loony, you have been fed misinformation almost your entire life about what type of people do drugs and how it ruins their life. Truthfully, most drugs are like alcohol: most people can experiment and enjoy them responsibly, but you are constantly having the bad eggs shoved down your face as an example of what you shouldn't be doing.
Take a moment and ask yourself: how does one "drink responsibly" and what is unique about that that couldn't be applied to another substance ingested in a similar manner? I understand things like heroin can be instantly addictive and therefore bad, but things like weed, minor hallucinogenics, and general "uppers" don't have much scientific evidence to support our culture's antagonism toward their "life-ruining" properties.
ZEAL92 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol and tobacco are responsible for a significant number of deaths worldwide. If it were up to me they would all be banned, but I admit my position is a tyrannical one.
That sentence was because I edited quickly without checking the edit for context. In my anecdotal experience, I've never seen any positive relationship between the currently illegal drugs and the quality of someone's life (meaning their life has been improved because they did them). I've never seen any studies to that affect either.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you say about the deaths is true, but the government doesn't/shouldn't have a right to outlaw substances that may be harmful to oneself. Any rational adult should be allowed to consume any substance, (ie I should be legally allowed to poison myself), otherwise it's overstepping of the law. The law exists to fill in the gaps where people act on and affect others.
ZEAL92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agree to disagree.
HelloSchumann ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never heard someone express substantive pleasure at having done an illegal drug? Never heard anyone say, "this illegal marijuana treats my ____ illness or condition better than my legal prescription drug, I wish I could procure it as easily as booze or cigarettes"? Or heard someone praise the mind expanding potentials of a good acid or mushroom trip?
I find that hard to believe.
ZEAL92 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't really matter what you believe. I don't know anyone that does medical marijuana (considering its illegal in the two states i've lived in, that's not surprising) and everyone I know who has ever done pot has done so for fun. And in general, I don't want to associate with those kind of people, and they know my anti-drug stance, so they wouldn't tell me and don't stick around.
Just because someone feels an act has positive attributes doesn't mean the experience will be a net positive. The risks associated with illegal drugs, such as the fact that if you get caught they can destroy your life, the health risks, social stigma faced by drug users, increased risk of violence, outweigh the positives from having your 'mind expanded' or relieving the symptoms of a condition from a rational perspective. Any idiot can fool themselves, especially if they're addling their brain with mind altering substances.
HelloSchumann ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:09:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me rephrase: you're lying. You seem to have a pretty solid grasp of the English language, and you're on the internet, thus it's assumed you can read, and therefore are aware of the many studies on the effectiveness of medical marijuana. If you're isolating yourself from people who engage in "risky" behavior, and your threshold for that riskiness is smoking weed (or it would seem from some other comments, drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes), I would imagine you don't know many people. Try to have a more open mind, and I'm sure people won't avoid you so much.
Sorry to be a preachy internet dick, but you're drawing your boundaries a little close dude, and I'm not sure your anecdotal experience counts for much.
beepbloopbloop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Many illegal drugs are no more addictive than alcohol, you can't just use the fact that they're illegal to argue that they should be illegal.
ZEAL92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can if I argue that alcohol should also be illegal. It's a consistent position.
beepbloopbloop ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:46:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, that's fine. Then we just disagree on what people should be allowed to do with their bodies.
double_ewe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
what would be the benefit of making alcohol illegal? it's already been tried, and the results were not very good
ZEAL92 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it worked, it would save a lot of lives, a lot of suffering, and a lot of money.
In reality, there isn't any (in general). Enforcement isn't feasible for alcohol, any more than for any other substance that can kill you people feel like they have the right to have. Laws aren't usually made to attain a benefit, they're made as a response to popular opinion/outcry.
WorkMoneyPartyBitchs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's something like only 5% of people who try meth/crack etc. get addicted
k9centipede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Treating drug abusers like criminals just pushes them to stay in the criminal element sides of society. If there were legal ways to obtain drugs someone could become an addict without resorting to hanging out with criminals, and being influenced by them. If drugs were decriminalized than going to get help to detox would be easier too. You wouldn't be fearful of being arrested for going for help.
Grimfelion ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:54:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other than the fact that coke is actually harmful in any amount whereas beer isn't when consumed with at least a modicum of restraint...
WorkMoneyPartyBitchs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What world are you living in?
Grimfelion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In case you're not being a sarcastic douche... Here ya go.
http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/cocaine/what-are-short-term-effects-cocaine-use
http://www.timberlineknolls.com/drug-addiction/cocaine/signs-effects
http://www.deltamedcenter.com/addiction/cocaine/effects-symptoms-signs
WorkMoneyPartyBitchs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes cocaine abuse is bad, beer abuse is also bad. A little bit of beer isn't good for you, but it's not going to hurt you. Same with a little bit of cocaine.
cohrt ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because its illegal and extremely easy to get caught doing?
TruGabu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:53:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cause redditors do drugs and browse leddit
Evil_Disco_Marmot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they're not as bad as society wants you to think.
i3igNasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they should be. I'm not into any sort of mental alterations at this point in my life. I do have an open mind for the likeness.
No, I'm not suggesting that an avid meth user should be handed meth on a silver platter. I'm suggesting that society should be open to the idea of recreational exploration.
Alcohol is deadly, yet legal. Weed in fact has never killed anyone directly, yet illegal(mostly). Given the proper setting, most drugs would not harm anyone in moderation. As a society and culture though, we are not allowed to explore options(Think commericially managed outting with friends e.g. ayahuasca). Cleaner/safer versions of drugs are hard to develop because there is no legal backing.
hazcooper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because most people on reddit aren't idiots and decide for themselves whether or not something is 'bad'.
hockeyri4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Demographic. I imagine most redditors are in their twenties, myself included. I feel like that's when most people's drug use/experimentation peaks. And we're growing up in the age where pot is becoming legal.
Delta2800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally for me I feel that if you are a responsible human being you can do certain drugs without affecting your life in a major way. Not to mention with legalization you get better quality/fewer drugs that are cut with crazy shit like draino. If I were to buy some MDMA I'd rather get it from a reputable source than a sketchy gang banging drug dealer. And who wouldn't want to have a much less crowded prison system and more revenue generated by taxes? Colorado has already done great things with the revenue produced from the legal weed alone.
TL;DR I see lots of pros and can't see many cons.
Captainobvvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because most people would be upset with the idea of the government throwing people in prison and stopping them from eating a food or drinking a drink they want to drink in the privacy of their own home.
For some reason people think of drugs differently. They really aren't.
You live in this country for security, infrastructure, etc... But what gives them the right to regulate what you do in the privacy of your own home up to throwing you in prison if you Do it?
Main_man_mike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is pretty liberal.
MasterofPandas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because Reddit are real people where you get a wide span of drug users and most of them seem to understand that if your responsible with your drug use most (not crack, heroin, meth, krokidil, etc.) can actually enhance your life. Of course there's the addicts as well that give drugs a bad name, but most people on reddit see that a line or few of Molly through out the night every once in a while isn't going to kill you.
_retro_future ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, I can take drugs like a champ. But many other people cant. I still think that anybody can take drugs like s champ even tho most people have it turn into a problem. Also I probably do have a problem but I think I'm too much of a champ at taking drugs to realize it.
kanst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me personally I don't care what anyone does in the privacy of their home. If you wanna cross dress, free base and have an orgy, as long as everyone is consenting and you don't make too much noise, why should I care.
PMMeTitsQuestionmark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because most of reddit uses, has used, or knows someone who uses drugs in moderation. I personally know people who use all types of drugs, and the part that is sad is that the pot heads are by far the worst. So many of them dive head first into weed because "it's not addictive" without ever realizing the effects it is having on them and their lives. I don't care what substance you use. But if you need it every 15 minutes and will do anything for it, you may have a problem.
Bobtbob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well in order to begin answering your question, we have to break down the term "drugs". Psychoactive substances fall into different classifications (such as narcotic, hallucinogenic, benzodiazepine, etc) which means they each react with your brain in very different ways. Therefore the term "drugs" is not a constructive way of describing their individual qualities since it's a blanket term for them to be collectively demonized under without examining their individual merits.
If you want to debate the pros of cons of narcotics, have that discussion. If you want to debate the legality of tryptamine's, have that discussion. However, it's not beneficial to demonize or champion them with the word "drugs"
radome9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because drugs are fun. There's a reason they are popular.
sheddinglikeamofo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think because alcohol is legal, a drug proven to be more addictive than a lot of other drugs that are currently illegal (in the U.S. at least).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A) Because a lot of anti-drug propaganda is nothing more than propaganda. There are many legitimate reasons not to partake in recreational drug use but they are rarely the ones espoused in the debate.
B) Because reddit and drug use are both hobbies of a larger subgroup: slackers.
KIRW7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I'm all about self-agency and autonomy. If someone wants to smoke crack, shoot up heroin I couldn't give a shit.
TonySoprano420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because Marijuana, MDMA and Mushrooms are all fantastic experiences.
bobaimee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because drugs are awesome
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are weird people. Weird people do drugs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because drugs are ubiquitous world-wide. It's human nature to want to get fucked up
Golanthanatos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it is because drugs really aren't as bad as DARE would have you believe, and there are drug related subreddits which draw users, who end up default subs.
Themiffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're drug-friendly for the ones that aren't harmful.
We're not saying Krokodil should be legal, and every child should shoot up heroine. But if people are dying and getting their lives ruined because of weed then something is a little backwards.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's full of young people. Young people love drugs.
TheBlackSpank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're not harming anyone other than yourself, who the fuck cares? It's my hot body, I'll do what I want!
Also, government regulation of weed would be good for the economy.
Darth_Corleone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You mean people? Most Drug Free types claim that while being on caffeine, fluoride, nicotine, ibuprofen, several mood-altering and life-saving chemical concoctions... maybe a cocktail after work to take the edge off...
DonaldBlake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I believe that you own your body and can do whatever you want with it. If you get high and hurt someone, then you held accountable for your actions just like if you get drunk and hurt someone or if you get angry and hurt someone.
HungInHawaii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know Reddit doesn't fully represent the world and/or U.S. but I think it is simply most people just don't care. Most people don't like running around telling everyone what to do and how to do it.
SerenityTranquilPeas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just an overall increase in drug knowledge. We are a community that shares not only images, but life stories. We have learned quite a bit from those who are already drug-friendly and in turn, realize that the stigma surrounding their usage is a load of arse.
radamanthine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People do a fuck load of drugs. They just don't admit it publicly.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People like drugs because they're fun. That's probably why.
In all seriousness, a lot of us probably experienced some bullshit anti-drug campaigns in elementary/high school and now understand that drugs aren't the boogeyman. I know I personally am pretty jaded toward America's anti-drug culture.
We need to be teaching people more nuanced ideas than "drugs are evil". Drugs are just a vehicle. If you're using drugs to escape life and be okay with doing nothing with your day, that's bad. If you're using them to have fun every now and then, thats fine.
It's no different than any other substance, such as food. You can't expect to eat shit food all the time and be healthy.
MrMustangg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just good to keep an open mind. If I had to guess, I'd say a large number of redditors have had run ins with close minded individuals and had some thing they like called into question. It's a bad situation and most people try not to do that. That's just my theory anyway, and it obviously doesn't apply to everyone.
I also happen to like drugs a lot. I've only ever done a few and they weren't chemically addicting so moderation is easy. I also have ulcerative colitis. I'm not going to lie and hide behind weed's medical properties. It absolutely helps me feel better but I would still smoke if it didn't.
tylertgbh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most redditors are left/progressive
bass_n_treble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are escapists into escapism?
Does that clarify things?
Hexagram195 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because we're mostly young adults being raised in a new generation. More and more of us are seeing drugs as more of an accepted thing especially at college/university where a lot of people will first try them.
You hear scary stories about them, but some of my best nights out with friends have been on drugs (things like MDMA, not heavy shit like heroin) . People need to learn how to use them in moderation and what they're taking first though.
ookle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most drugs are bad for you, this is true, but not bad enough that we can't easily recover from or simply not need to worry about the damage they do.
badjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because being hardline against drugs requires reasons that are not rationally congruent with the modern understanding of what are generally considered illegal and legal drugs.
Alcohol kills far more people than heroin does, let alone marijuana. Cigs have no fucking benefit- period. And yet, we see things that are more inebriating by scientific quantification (alcohol) and more damaging/addictive (nicotine) legal than many of the illegal drugs.
Most of drug illegality stems from a political and cultural basis that is out of touch with the modern culture and no longer serves any political purpose other than to provide a "safe" position for politicians to lay blame and operate from, but the statistics on gain vs cost of drug prohibition are becoming well known, and even that last bastion is under attack.
It's not a pro-drug culture you're seeing. It's the denial of the pro-prohibition culture that already existed.
aredditgroupthinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is more young ,wealthy, and educated. Rules don't apply to them.
sibeliushelp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny how they defends drugs on the basis that people have the right to do whatever with their own bodies, but can't apply this logic to fat people.
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't usually partake in these conversations, but honestly, why should I care what someone else puts in their body? Barring drugs that make a person physically violent, what's wrong with them? Like, anything?
joegrizzyII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Humans are drug friendly.
We eat sugar.
We drink caffeine.
Those drugs are fine, even though they kill faaarrr more people than marijuana or LSD ever has.
Except for all those killed in illegal drug raids and stuff.
the_omega99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good question. As one of those people who has spent a weirdly obsessive amount of time discussing this stuff online (which is a little weird considering I don't even use any illicit drugs), here's what I think:
Reddit has somewhat of an emphasis on factual accuracy. Have you noticed how common it is to have posts in subs like /r/news, /r/science, and /r/tech where the top post will be calling the article out on its inaccuracies? These posts are really popular (and the reason for their popularity mostly comes from the kind of people that reddit attracts). Since a lot of opposition to drug usage is based on factual inaccuracies, we not only see a lot of arguing against keeping drugs illegal, but also strong opposition to the reasoning behind keeping these drugs illegal.
A good example is with the US scheduling system. Schedule 1 is supposed to be for drugs with a high potential for abuse and no medical purposes (even cocaine isn't schedule 1 because it has medical purposes). This seems completely wrong since not only has recent studies shown the marijuana does not have a high potential for abuse (compared to alcohol and nicotine, at least), but there's been a rising number of medical uses (which is why medical marijuana is a thing). This makes a lot of people angry as it's perceived as the federal government flat out lying about the effects and uses of drugs. This also raises concerns about what else they may be lying about (see how the DARE program has been ineffective).
Reddit's system makes the popular views even more popular. The way the site works (giving attention to whatever gets a lot of votes quickly) means that popular topics get a lot more eyes. As a result, even more people can be swayed towards a particular view. This mostly works in combination with #4.
Reddit is very pro-personal freedom and many view drug usage as part of that. You'll commonly see a view that victimless crimes shouldn't be crimes. I think the underlying thought behind this is that adults should have the ability to make their own choices (as they largely already do) and that since drug usage mostly affects themselves, they should be able to use drugs.
As an aside, perhaps an equally interesting question would be: why is the "real world" so anti-drug?
ArrrGaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Demographics and lucky experiences are my guess.
They're either too young to have seen the consequences of when it's taken too far or they aren't young and have just gotten lucky and not experienced it or known anybody who has. Kind of like most people with mental illness, y'know? Or when you get thin people who don't understand you can't just "Put the fork down, fatty", because you feel like nobody loves you and it's the only happiness you have. They're the skinny people in that situation - can't conceive that their favorite drugs could possibly be bad.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because many of us are very into the idea of advocating, if not excersizing personal freedoms which should at least cover the ability to do what we want with our mind and body.
Personally I think it's apalling that my moral peer (any person) thinks they have the right to tell me what to do with my body or mind... whether it's what I can think about, what I can eat, what drugs I can do, or who I choose to have sex with, unless it is violating someone else's rights/freedom, it's none of your damn buisiness.
The_Dill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's a community trending towards young white men who are high-school or college-aged, computer-savvy, and liberal.
http://www.people-press.org/2014/04/02/section-1-perceptions-of-drug-abuse-views-of-drug-policies/
Males, white people, liberals, people 18-29, and college-educated people are all more likely to be in favor of reducing drug prohibition, or at least be less worried about drugs.
jigokusabre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because reddit tends to be young.
CobraCommanderVII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you why I am, I think I represent a good amount of reddit (white, middle-class, liberal)
Punishment for drug related offenses is way too harsh and doesn't do anything to stop the problem. People can get their whole lives ruined from having a little bit of pot. But has that done anything to stop people from smoking? No. Does heroin being illegal stop people from wanting to get it? Not really.
Freedom thing. What people do in their own home on their own times is their business. If they're out and about doped up on coke then that's a problem, but in the same way public intoxication is, and I don't see anyone clamoring to ban alcohol.
Revenue. Legalizing and taxing drugs would not only help a lot of people by making their drugs safer (ie used heroin needles), but it would generate hella $$$ in taxes. I'm pretty sure there was a headline on reddit a short while ago about how DC earned billions from weed.
Many drugs are not as bad as people claim. Pot is not as bad as cigarettes, and it's not addictive. Hallucinogens like LSD and Shrooms aren't addictive, although you will trip balls.
Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that making drugs illegal does not stop drug use, it only promotes crime, because when you make something illegal, you're basically performing the grand opening ceremony for a new black market.
redditclark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just illegals either. I have to keep quite about my pain med usage. I'm so an addict? Damn right I am. I physically defendant on Percocet. I take 120/month. No more, no less. Why? I have a very legit reason to and if you want to know, just ask. I don't mind explaining it. Does it affect my daily life in a detrimental way? Nope. Quite the contrary. I wouldn't be a functioning and productive member of society without them. But Christ Almighty alive you should see the reaction of some people if they see you taking meds in public or at work. So, I just keep it quite or subtly announce that I have to take my seizure meds so if someone sees me they think it's something it's not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the same reason Reddit is so pro-Bernie Sanders.
Reddit is mostly young, liberal Westerners.
jmcdon00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mosty because prohibition doesn't work, and actually makes the problem worse.
MrAmishJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a long time drug user when younger and at that time an advocate... age. Reddit tends to skew towards college age give or take. I thought the same thing when I was younger. I'm still tolerable. Anytime i hear a person in my life talk about moderation...it's the fool who has no idea what that word actually means.
I'm not anti-drug . Experience just makes you see the world different. We'd honestly all be better off without a lot of it.
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because drugs are fucking awesome
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They can be really fun and can be used safely?
Unspeakblycrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because drugs are awesome.
George_Cantstandsya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of redditors are cool with weed and acid because they're not necessarily harmful. You can't OD from them and you can't really get TOO high. Although, nowadays you don't really know what you're getting when you buy acid until you try it.
Dwaasbaasje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of Reddit is pretty liberal, so I guess that would be the main reason. Besides, drugs aren't as bad as most people make them out to be, as long as you are well informed and don't don't go completly bonkers with them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the drug. Everyone I he ever met who tried heroin or crack all said they wish they never even had the first hit. (I met lot of drug users of all types as I worked in an urban job centre for 4 years.) Nicotine is pretty pointless and addictive too.
But yeah lsd is relatively safe. Mdma can be if you can be sure it's not cut with something, but very few people can actually have that certainty. Weed is benign physically, but I've met so many stoners who just use it to escape reality and then end up with a whole world of problems and no healthy coping mechanisms.
In fact that seems to be the one common factor I see most when it comes to drugs, they so often become a person's coping/escape mechanism, that they never learn how to be emotionally mature, self disciplined, people.
So no drugs aren't bad themselves for most of them, but nearly every person I met who was a regular drug user was held back in their lives somewhat by the habit, even if it wasn't a physical addiction or substantial physical health risk.
WinterSon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I don't care what other people choose to put into their bodies if it's their idea of a good time.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:40:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:32:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
or driving a 911 turbo out in the desert of Nevada, with no one else around but your own stupidity, while on MDMA, with Tiesto blasting, and screaming like a maniac
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to K hole on that stuff. Almost got raped once and stayed away after that. K holing is such a weird thing.
camelcrusher ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:30:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly think that many drugs in their pure forms are a wonderful thing. I just think that we generally don't have the will power to moderate our use and decide when enough of something great is enough. I know it can be done, but it's very difficult. I would imagine that most drug-related deaths can be attributed to being careless with drug interactions and dosages, as well as people introducing impurities by cutting drugs with whatever substance they feel like. Honestly, I think this may be the safest period there has ever been for casual drug use. There is a vast amount of information out there that can help guide people to having a positive and safe experience with drugs. I just really wish that people would take the time to do some research about the substance that they are considering using and the potential consequences they may face. I apologize for rambling, I'm just passionate about the subject. Really just wish we had other options besides alcohol when we need to escape for a bit, without risking jail time of course.
Rachellybean ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true! I just found out the other week that LSD is UV reactive. I will be quick testing all that I do from now on with a black light.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'll probably destroy the substance.
might_be_myself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's UV reactive in that it decomposes when exposed to UV.
Not_jeff__ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:34:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've got no problem with drugs but when someone calls you out for not doing them, that's where I have a problem.
detectivejewhat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too man. There's seriously nothing better to me than coming home after a 10 hour shift on my feet all day in a hot ass kitchen and smoking a couple bowls.
Amosqu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:16:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's practically forced into our heads at school now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in middle school , in the 90s, knowing nothing about drugs, other than just "they are bad", so I believed that.
Until DARE came along. After they told me about these mysterious chemicals/pills/things that were so forbidden that these people had to preach to me like cult members how evil they were, I was SUPER interested in knowing more, or maybe even trying one.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same for me. If no one made a big deal out of them, I wouldn't be interested in learning more either, but instead we get lectured about how bad they are for a few hours in school.
MightyPenguin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:09:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No Krocadil either please.
ImaNarwhal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:24:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The active ingredient in krokodil is actually not really that harmful, the issue is that these crazy fuckers who have no idea how chemistry works are making it out of paint thinner and gasoline
WorkMoneyPartyBitchs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:08:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Krocadil is literally just the name for Desomorphine when it's cooked poorly by some junkie in his bathtub (Ok not that extreme but you get what I'm saying.) Pure Desomorphine is relatively safe
spencer102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's still an opioid and very addictive and can be overdosed on and etc, but it's not what's causing people's skin to fall off.
blowmonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Diabetic, needles are fine.
man_on_hill ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:01:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I kind of need my insulin now.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed! IDGAF what others do to their bodies.
I think that it would be better if all drugs were legalised, and sold by specific outlets. That way, the purity of the drugs could be ensured, and they could be sold at specific doses. People would actually know what they were putting into their bodies.
You could also monitor who was taking what, and give them help if they needed it.
Drugs don't cause addiction, being dissatisfied with ones life, and being stuck in shitty situations does.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:40:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
respect
Sonofstarwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I would need to get extra high just to be around them.
AgentFork ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:36:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How many Marijuana would you need to snort? 2? 3?
Sonofstarwind ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:17:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Snort? You must be new to drugs, faker! I'l have you know I had 2 suppository Marijuanas before I replied. Because I am king Kong of the Stoners!
donttellmymomwhatido ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a video of a man doing just that recently.
It was real dumb.
WhoaProblematic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You made my night with this comment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. So you would need a needle to be around needles, but what about the first needle? You'd have to use a needle to get high enough to use the first needle, but then... brain explodes
Error404- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After seeing Requiem for a Dream a few days ago, yeah. Needles are scary.
RaoulDuke209 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For real.
FeeninForkarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, the right drugs used properly can teach you a lot about yourself and how you see/interact with the world.
Rachellybean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They really can, they teach you to think outside of yourself. You are not in fact the center of the universe, many people need that lesson.
pogu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also prefer to freebase.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Needles are fucking terrifying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. What people want to do to themselves within the privacy of their own home and/or to their bodies is none of my business. I dont care.
SaigonNoseBiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im my experience, pipes that arent for weed might be up there pretty close to the needle...
Aintelafoumento ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree.. Everyone has the right to do whatever the fuck he wants with his life.. Cigarettes are addictive and can kill you too.. I can't see the logic behind their separation with drugs...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JarOfDihydroMonoxide ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:25:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which is a big push for recreational marijuana
MLein97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really anything that doesn't come in pill or food mode, not that I have anything against spaceship fumes, its just that Pill or food mode with controlled doses and active lengths would be so much better.
Justmetalking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Society has become quite puritanical on the subject. I have absolutely no problem with people doing any and all the drugs they want. Some people get squirrelly with stimulants or alcohol, whereas opiate and THC users just tend to chill. As long as they aren't fucking with me, it's all good.
whiskeyislove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just get giggly, tired, and hungry when stoned.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They use needles in hospitals. It's fine too. Just please be clean and don't use them more than once.
gop_stop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree with you about the needles, I like my heroin warm and with a pointy tip!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:12:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rachellybean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know a lot of people that do it and are fine. But they sleep. They eat and they drink. It is the psychosis that takes over after 5 days without sleep that causes these problems. Not the drug itself.
Delsana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:55:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This just in, all drugs have been replaced by needles, with nothing in them. Addictions to said drugs remain. Needles cost 10 dollars per injection.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No hard drugs? Or meth and cocaine are fine as well?
Rachellybean ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:53:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have done both. Coke much more so than meth. Didn't like staying up for days only slightly high so meth Sucks to me. Coke is OK but it has become unsafe here in the last few years so I quit that too. I don't mind most drugs but seeing how bad off my friends became with needles make them a total no go for me. Not to mention the risk of blood disease infection and vascular damage.
ingridelena ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to respect or take drug users seriously.
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only for those with a seriously biased view of drugs. You are OK with prescribed drugs I am sure. No difference, most prescription drug users are highly addicted and habituated.
ingridelena ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:17:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a problem with pot for medicinal uses either. It's no worth the risk just for recreation and doing so shows how reckless someone is with their own body.
JarOfDihydroMonoxide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiousity, what risks do you view as being associated with recreational marijuana consumption?
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No more reckless than driving a car every day.
ingridelena ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"For recreation". Common sense usually tells people to gauge reckless vs necessity. But drug users tend to lack common sense, as you've shown here, which is part of the reason why druggies attempting to cmv always end up reinforcing it.
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Driving is far more reckless statistically and people drive to get places when they could walk every day.
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The vast majority of driving probably doesn't fall under that category but I'd be willing to bet the vast majority of recreation drug use is far from a necessity. again common sense.
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your argument lacks common sense, you have a bias and it's obvious.
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, sure honey.
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling me honey doesn't lend your argument any credence. Show me some hard facts on the dangers of drugs VS driving. Or drugs VS just about anything else we do. Very sorry but it just isn't true, drugs are not dangerous.
ingridelena ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:54:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you're being willfully obtuse here. The problem is that while your point might be technically right it's still a false equivalence. You're comparing something done out of necessity to survive to one being done almost purely for recreational purposes. There's no way that you're so stupid that you can't understand that, hun.
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We don't drive out of necessity to live, you are obtuse. How did humanity survive before the automobile. Being right is being right sweetheart. And you are in fact wrong on all counts.
ingridelena ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:49:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No being obtuse is pretending that most people don't drive because they have to get to work or school or other equally important places. Being obtuse is pretending society hasn't.changed or beveled to the point where automobiles are a necessity esp in some parts of the world.
Yes sweetheart we know that leaving your house period is a risk but for most people it's a necessity. Feel free to keep grasping at straws though I'll be here all night to shoot you down! :D
Rachellybean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretending that drugs are more dangerous than anything else is downright stupid. I am done talking to you. You aren't shooting me down with anything. You would have to have an argument to stand on first.
ingridelena ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:36:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No said they were dumbass. Learn how to read.
Rachellybean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Resorting to words like dumbass and hun really makes you look smart. And in control and rational. Lol. Done.
ingridelena ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How many times are you going to be done? Knew you'd take the bait :)
goldanred ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm not leaving the house and no one is coming over, I'll wear pyjamas all day. Mine are always clean, but if I'm gross I'll shower and put on a fresh new clean set. My mum hates it, and I don't understand why.
Kagekabuki ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:20:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to myself. I guess to most people it's a bit weird if they overhear it, as I talk as if I have an audience. I'm literally just vocalising my thoughts; I've done it since I was a kid. Anyway I don't just walk around nattering to myself lol, but at work, in shops etc. people can overhear me mumbling away to myself if I'm concentrating on something.
As an example, today I drove to a friend's house for the first time. The street layout was a bit odd (groups of 4 houses in little clusters off the main road) so I parked in a communal bay and walked up to the nearest cluster to see if I was at least near my friend's house number. I didn't realise that someone was behind me and I was muttering 'hmm, this might be the one... oh no, that one's number 17, I need to move the car further up as it must be the next cluster, oh well....'
I was pretty embarrassed when I realised someone was behind me. I always am when people catch me doing it, as people tend to think I'm insane. I actually do try not to do it in public/around people, but sometimes I don't even realise I'm doing it (like when I'm concentrating, as I said). I scared the crap out of one of my exes when he walked upstairs and heard me reminiscing to myself about spilling Bucks Fizz at Christmas one year. 'Haha, that was funny, there was Bucks Fizz everywhere.'
My Dad has caught me talking to myself in the house so many times, and he just laughs because my Mam did the same thing. But yeah, it upsets me a bit that people think I'm mental because of it. I know there's no-one there listening, I just talk as if someone's there because.... well idk. I just always have!
staynchik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get in trouble and embarrassed with the exact same thing. Trouble is, I berate myself openly and people think I'm talking to them. For instance, I was at Chipotle the other day and went to the fountain to get my drink. I wasn't paying attention and activated the wrong spout and said "Gah! Nice job, idiot" and got a nasty look from the person standing next to me. This sort of thing happens at least twice a week, I never learn.
Kagekabuki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear, I've done that too haha!
endospire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind folks muttering to themselves (I do it all the time when I'm on my own) but there's a guy at work who will talk to himself, at a conversational volume when it's just the two of us in the room. I've adopted the tactic of literally ignoring everything he says unless he specifically addresses me by name.
brownmagician ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:11:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting seconds or thirds from a buffet.
If I'm still hungry, don't judge me for getting more food.
lostsemicolon ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 00:59:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that exactly the point of a buffet?
FullmentalFiction ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:59:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you would think, but in reality it's all an elaborate ruse to shame you into thinking that's it's not.
MolePlayingRough ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:26:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm aghast at the idea of getting only one plate of food at a buffet. The first plate is the sampler plate, then you go back and get more of your favorite stuff.
CatholicAlternate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if it is "All You Can Eat" or "All You Care to Eat."
toastfacegrilla ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:09:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I paid for all I can eat, you make your money back on drinks, women, and children so stop crying.
kickingpplisfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, the meal was $11 before drinks and since most of it's quite cheap to produce and you're not paying nearly as many servers, you're saving money. At a normal restaurant, I try to avoid spending $10+ on the entree...
jacktheBOSS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm from its rude to get less than three (or two big ones). Wasting money is a big no no.
Fearltself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
John Pinette?
evenmoreKUSH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only thirds?!?
forwormsbravepercy ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:03:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. It's shunned a lot but it doesn't bother me a bit. Babies need to eat like every three hours and moms should not be forced to stay at home all day. Instead people should just grow up.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:08:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. Our culture is all "yay tits!" Until they're used for their biological function and then it's "ewww, tits!"
Fluffy8x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays it's all "ewww, tits!"
Aspergers1 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 17:04:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This might not answer this question perfectly, but its definitely something society should try and change about itself. Mental illness. If there wasn't so much of a stigma around mental illness things would get much much better. We should think of mental illness the same way we think of physical illness.
ThePancakey ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:20:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you completely on this. Mental illness is an illness of a physical piece of us (our brains), and yet it is treated completely different. I've always enjoyed this comic for explaining it in an easy-to-understand way.
Aspergers1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:17 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't even clicked that link and I know what it is.
smokeyjoe69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the stigma probably also comes from the ambiguity of diagnosis and the facts that just about anybody or anybody with the right doctor can get diagnosed with whatever disorder matches the drug they want.
Ataya970 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Possible spoilers?
This is why I was disappointed with Inside Out. It was a good movie about growing up but it could have been a great movie about mental illness. And the argument "it's a kids movie" is literally more of the reason it should be. Introducing them to it and teaching them it's ok and how to get help at a young age is an amazing way to remove stigma.
Aspergers1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:46 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I even heard of mental illness while I was in elementary school. If I had it was in the context of insane, crazy, violent people who hear voices and talk to people who are not there. Even if I did hear about mental illness in elementary school, it wasn't portrayed as an illness.
oohshineeobjects ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're two totally different beasts though. The scary thing about mental illness - the reason that it's so heavily stigmatized - is because it changes your thoughts and behaviors and can make you a potential danger to yourself and/or others. Someone with a broken leg isn't going to randomly threaten to murder someone; your blind friend isn't going to hear a loud noise and suddenly snap and think they're in a war zone; an allergy sufferer won't develop hallucinations and delusions. Mental illnesses alter who you are as a person in a way that physical illnesses just don't, making you unpredictable, oftentimes unstable, and sometimes a danger to be around.
Aspergers1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental illness doesn't make people violent. That's a complete myth. People who have things like schizophrenia, psychopathy, PTSD, bipolar disorder, so on and so forth are more likely to harm themselves than they are to hurt anyone else. The levels of crime among people with these disorders is actually lower than it is of neurotypicals (people without illnesses that affect the mind). I mean, can you imagine someone with schizophrenia being allowed into a gang? No, of course not. Not to mention, there are people, groups, government agencies that often keep an eye on these people.
For many people, the words "mental illness" brings up pictures of violent, delusional, people. They don't think of OCD when they hear those words. They don't think of suicide when they hear those words. They don't picture gambling addicts, or people with eating disorders, they think of schizophrenia and psycopaths when when they hear those words. The word psycopaths has actually become synonymous with serial killer nowadays. Which it really isn't at all. That's like hearing the word "male" and thinking of rapists. That's like hearing the work "black" and thinking of gangsters. In reality, 1% of the population is a psychopath. You've probably met them before. Based on that 1%, you should expect 12 or 13 people at my highschool to be spychopaths. Psychopaths are not violent people. They just have less empathy than everyone else. What about schizophrenia? 1.1% of American adults have schizophrenia. Which means, there are more people with schizophrenia or psychopthas than there are gay people. Assuming that no one had both schizophrenia and psychopathy, in which case they would have been counted twice.
[deleted] ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 15:47:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat indoors, at the table, everywhere. Who cares? It's a hat, it's comfy, my head is goddamn cold, it looks good on me, any fucking reason really is fine. The no hat thing is stupid beyond all belief. (I mean for safety reasons I get it, but otherwise? Let them wear hats!)
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:39:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It probably came from a time when people wore hats outdoors at all times. It was a functional piece of outside clothing and wearing it at the table would have been akin to wearing your overcoat at the table. Now that hats are a voluntary thing and generally only worn for fashion reasons as opposed to utility, most people don't bother.
Also, I think there's a passage in the Bible about coming to the temple with your head uncovered, so that carried into a rule where you would remove your hat when you walked into a church.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:51:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, times have changed!
EatingSteak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard anyone articulate a good reason, but I feel like there's an element of physical openness and "body language" associated with wearing a hat.
When you shake someone's hand, you're taught more than just that. Eye contact, friendly, open posture, an inviting gesture, etc.
Wearing a hat, particularly with a brim over your eyebrows is sort of the opposite of that. Ever seen someone who wears mirrored sunglasses indoors? They look like douchebags, even if it's bright enough to see costly while wearing them.
FullmentalFiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's too cold you're damn right I'm going to wear my jacket at the table. It's better than demanding the A/C be turned up while everyone else sweats because they think it's too hot! (Not that I've ever complained it's too cold, usually I'm the opposite)
squeebie23 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:47:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I came here for this. My in-laws are big on the "no hat at the dinner table" thing. I could be in pajamas and that would be OK, but somehow a baseball cap is disrespectful? It's fine the whole day, but as soon as you sit down to eat it's bad?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:49:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's absolutely ridiculous! Luckily we don't have to continue the traditions of our parents or relatives if we think they are outdated or silly. I for one will allow hats at the table when I'm a parent.
squeebie23 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Traditions are great, but need to be re-evaluated sometimes - slavery, wearing a baseball cap at the dinner table, gay marriage, etc.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:55:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!
OnMyOtherAccount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, all three of those things are entirely equal.
DryadCub ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:12:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke.
OnMyOtherAccount ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:25:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're the joke.
Vandechoz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:44:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not really
asderferg ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:59:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tips fedora
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:08:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
m'brotha
MrDerpsicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tips dinner table
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
M'breakfast!
MrDerpsicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tips maple syrup
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
M'Canadian!
baudelairean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
m'lad
YourMotherIsAPore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agree. I always take my hat off when I pray or when my countries anthem comes on out of respect, but why is it respectful?
Off to /r/explainlikeim5
ATCaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I've always felt weird leaving my hat on during any national anthem.
Prayer, eh, my church was never big on little things like that. If you're in the main service? Oh hell yeah. You better take that hat off. But youth service or praying anywhere else? Not a big deal.
YourMotherIsAPore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that's just different regions bleeding through. My youth group might as well have been a party, but if you didn't bow your head and remove your hat, you would have been jumped on pretty much instantly.
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For about 3 years I almost always wore a hat during the national anthem.
Marching band privileges.
Thy_Gooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Random internet guess but maybe it's more of a subconscious type of thing. If you are wearing a hat we can't really see your face, and if you are at a table eating your whole face would be hidden. And meal time is or was considered a bonding time so if we can't see you we can't really bond. But I am probably totally wrong.
jacktheBOSS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same reason anything is respectful. We as a society choose small gestures (bowing, handshakes, please and thank you) and designate them as a sign of respect. That way, in our society, we have tools to display our respect for one another and also ways to show disrespect. If you approached someone with their hand out for a shake and you decline it, it's disrespectful because we designated the handshake as a sign of respect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you were actually five your parents would just say 'because I told you so." and that would be the end of it.
YourMotherIsAPore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But wwhhhhyyyyyyyy?!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:07:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Because I'm an adult, you live under my roof and you do as I say or I'll take away your game thing and you'll be grounded to your room.'
-Mannequin- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:58:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard that it's a trust thing. Like a knight removing his helmet when acknowledging the king, removing your hat is exposing a vital part of your body to those you're in company with.
SlavicHavoc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:16:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, up until the point he removes his hat and you see a mullet staring you right in the face.
Then you're like "Well, you know what.. Put your hat back on, it's fine"
Unique_Cyclist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I come from, if I ever wore a hat to the table (when I was a child) I've been told that it's rude to wear a hat to a table since I'm not Jewish.. But the way it was always put was as if being Jewish was a bad thing and only bad people wear hats to eat...
I'm not sure why it was portrayed like that
Gonzobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your parents might have been racist.
Unique_Cyclist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. My parents were indeed racist.. not terribly racist, but they weren't to keen on other ethnicities, religions, or skin colours. But this wasnt something said by just my parents, this was said by friends families, guests, school teachers, etc.
combustionchootsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom gets real upset about this, but then will burp and blow her nose during the meal at the table.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, ha, me and my friends have burping contests all the time, so that would just make me laugh!
combustionchootsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with burping. My thing is that a hat that has no impact on her (like a stranger on the other side of the restaurant) is a tremendous issue, but she'll be snotty right over her plate of food and burp which she also thinks is gross is ok at the table. Moms.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, very true!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always laughed at this. So silly.
robotizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just big on manners. But if there were a way to, somehow, change these unwritten rules. I'd be onboard.
rantipoler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get pissed off at this and I'm not sure why.
SoulFire6464 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We found the TF2 player.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, ha, I've heard great things about TF2 but never actually played it, maybe someday. I do get this joke though.
SoulFire6464 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you like hats, then you'll love it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give it a go then!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love hats, but don't wear them everywhere though.
If we're at dinner for example I'll remove it to give my head some rest.
lets-start-a-riot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I care, you are free to wear it and Im free to think that someone wearing a hat (or sunglases) inside a building is a moron.
Hey, keyword: "Im free to think", what im not free to do is to go and start talking shit to you or about you for wearing a hat indoors.
DRACULA_WOLFMAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wear a baseball cap pretty much all the time everywhere. It's intensely annoying when the rare person tells me to take it off indoors, like how about you stop being a nosy bitch indoors?
ReleaseTheRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be bald or balding.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I shaved my head for a cancer fundraiser, I didn't realize how cold you get without hair, I've grown some back and it's summer now, but I still pull my blanket over my head for sleeping and need a hat to make sure I don't get sunburned horribly (I have super light hair and burn really easily)
Edit: For clarity
ReleaseTheRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh makes sense now. I hope your recovery continues to go smoothly. Don't let the hat haters drag you down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, but I guess I wasn't clear enough, for cancer usually means for cancer awareness not from cancer. It was still scary shaving my head as a girl and I did it so I could try and empathize with others who have had to shave for cancer reasons, but I shaved for a local fundraiser that donates to kids with cancer and the local children's hospital in my area (that way I sort of know it's actually going to help people) my mom lost a very good friend years ago to breast cancer, and my grandma had a melanoma/skin cancer scare awhile ago so that's also why I did it. Mostly to gain some insight and empathy, I wasn't able to raise much money just by myself. I'll edit my original post, I don't deserve that kind of thanks, I didn't have to survive anything.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good gentlesir, make sure to protect your fedora from the harsh elements!
doctorbooshka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe at the table on Thanksgiving or Sunday supper but most people I know where there hats at all times.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the military they drilled it into our heads to never wear a hat while eating. In the old days of the Navy, the mess deck (dining area) of a ship used to double as an emergency triage area during battle (big flat tables for laying down bodies, it's usually close to the centerline of a ship where it's most stable, etc). Nowadays you remove your hat on the mess deck as a sign of respect for the dead.
However I'm not suggesting that as the reason behind the civilian taboo of not wearing a hat indoors or at the table. I really have no idea.
specialKswag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. I think it's like taking off your coat when you enter a room. Call me old fashioned but I think it's trashy when people wear hats indoors. You wouldn't wear sunglasses indoors.
GoldMouseTrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, I don't want to hold onto a fucking hat the rest of the time I'm indoors when I could just keep that motherfucker on my head.
Sanity98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*tips hat
PositiveEmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I apply this to hoods too
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you take it off for your country's national anthem?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't go to sporting events, not my cup of tea, and school would give you a write up if you were wearing a hat at all indoors, so I've never actually had the chance to be wearing a hat during a national anthem playing that I've heard. If I was watching the anthem being played on t.v. I wouldn't, I'm in my own house after all. I don't think you should necessarily have to during a national anthem - what does it matter what's on my head? The flag represents freedom, the freedom of choice so the best way to respect that freedom is (imo) to exercise it. You should have the freedom to wear a hat.
As to whether I would or not in real life? Depends on the circumstances. I would always try and fight it in school, but it's impossible to change the minds of some people and so I've learned to pick my battles. If I were with my parents I would take my hat off while rolling my eyes because it's not worth getting into a fight over it. None of my friends care except for the one who's been in cadets, but even she can't answer the question "Why is it disrespectful to wear a hat in these situations?" with a good answer and doing something 'just because' or without good reason or justification just because other people do it just seems stupid to me. If I were at a workplace function where I know a boss cares I do it, as much as I think it's stupid it's not worth losing a job over.
Wearing hats at the table and being able to wear them in school is going to be something that's going to take a long time to become okay - people really fiercely like to hold on to tradition even if it's nonsensical or no longer applicable in the modern day time. The best thing I can do to fight it is by condoning it and explaining my reasoning why I condone it and think it's a silly rule. It's just an outdated tradition that needs to finally pass on.
pcrnt8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:53:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting take. I really have no basis for why it bothers me, but it drives me nuts when people wear hats at the table. I'm sitting here trying to pinpoint the cause of this reaction, and it really is just the tradition. My mom clearly conditioned me to not be okay with hats at the table. She was really, really strict when it came to anything regarding manners, though.
You pinpointed an interesting fact though. It is seen as unacceptable to keep a hat on during the national anthem. Maybe hats indoors are just seen as rude in general, so to keep one on during the anthem appears as a serious slight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine that's why for a lot of people. Probably a generational thing too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got into an argument with a teacher at college about that. She had a rule about hats in the classroom. One day I decided to rebel, she asked me to remove it, I asked why, she said it's not polite, I disagreed. I asked what the consequences were, she said she would ask me leave, I said that wouldn't end well for her. Basically I explained to her that the college has no dress code, so she has no authority to tell me what not to wear in class. Also me wearing a hat does not prevent her from teaching me, of me from learning, and it was an IT skills class, so it's not like it was preventing her from making eye contact with me because we were facing our monitors anyway. I was a bit cocky, but it was a mandatory IT skills class where a barely qualified 60ish year old women taught us how to use word and excel, and I don't wanna sound like one of those "I built my own PC, I know html" pricks, but I was, so I was already pissed about being there. Then after being repeatedly told about how we're adults now and we don't have to ask permission to go to the bathroom or to leave early, she starts treating me like a child. It ended with her writing a letter to my personal tutor, he didn't care and ignored it, she never brought it up again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've argued with teachers about it before. A few of my high school teachers even agreed with me, but it they didn't want to make waves and I understand that, wouldn't want them to get in trouble. I'm hoping university is more lenient this fall when I go.
timbudtwo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
For me I don't mind unless I cant see the persons eyes. I am big on eye contact when I am talking with people (to the point people call me intense sometimes.) I think the shadow that hats can put on peoples face makes it harder to read at times, or almost makes them look down-cast. If I can see you fine I don't care.
Edit: word
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that's a fair point.
Bastard_Bruce_Wayne ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:25:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You prob look stupid.
anakaine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:39:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I care. It labels you as a douchebag from afar, to be honest. Because virtually everyone respects this rule, and because it is polite to remove hat and glasses inside so people can easily see your face, you're creating unnecessary tension within others in the room.
XillaKato ยท 596 points ยท Posted at 14:58:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Offensive jokes.
Razzman70 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:46:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing cards against humanity at my last con and a lot of the fun was sucked out of it because one person playing kept getting offended by the cards. What did you expect to happen, lolipops and rainbows?
tman_elite ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:39:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I would have just kept playing more and more offensive things to piss that person off. Seriously, it's the point of the game, it says so on the box. If you want to be politically correct, go buy Apples to Apples.
TwoFiveOnes ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:30:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
HEY MAN. Apples to Apples is the bees' fucking knees
Cunt_Bag ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:26:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bees?
TwoFiveOnes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:33:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yup. every one of em
WhompWump ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ftfy
[deleted] ยท 1094 points ยท Posted at 15:30:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who are the worlds fastest readers?
9/11 victims..they went through over 100 stories in just seconds.
PrinceofDementia ยท 395 points ยท Posted at 16:01:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least you lived up to the name.
orprobablynot87 ยท 215 points ยท Posted at 16:47:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why were the twin towers sad? Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza and all they got is plane.
InvaderChin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:55:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*Two planes
HighHemplar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But there no plain pizza. This joke don't make much sense, yet I am amused...
colbystan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pepperoni seems like the one thing I'd call a plain pizza.
NekoFuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, you know, cheese.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No such thing as "cheese pizza". It's just pizza.
swigglediddle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:59:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's plain pizza
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pizza, fuckface.
swigglediddle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:24:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plain pizza
wee_man ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This post is sponsored by the Tom Petty song "Free Falling".
SlobBarker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:23:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did you know that .27% of all Jenga games are played on 9/11?
Scottz0rz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:58:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a geometry joke! When does a pentagon only have four sides?
When it is intersected by a plane.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That joke was a plane wreck.
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, what an offensive_bastard.
(Sorry, I laughed at it even though I was personally affected by the attacks)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man im sorry bro :( really..i actually mean it..though its cool you can take it in stride.. :( my deepest sympathies
turquoisehippo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have an upvote and a laugh from me! Cheered my day right up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im here all week :]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fucking Christ, that was dark. Well done.
Gonzobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Genuine lol earned
Ahmrael ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that's more distasteful than it is offensive.
Georgia_Ball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
Taurus_O_Rolus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The plane initiated reading process.
lakeweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wow
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, man...
folkadots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
thatsaqualifier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you
Star_Lord1997 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
You're a bad person :/
( I meant it as a joke. I don't mean OP is a dick )
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Youre ok in my book :)
ITiswhatITisforthis ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon? Too soon?
soinvisiblexx ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but that isn't funny.. :/
Dexaan ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 17:10:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Toronto Maple Leafs.... wait, you said offensive jokes, not offense jokes.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:06:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maple Leafs are an offensive joke to Canadian hockey.
Majormlgnoob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about the Leafs that won 13 cups?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you mean when there were only 2 teams.
Majormlgnoob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep even in a 6 team league the Rangers couldn't win but the Leafs could.
irishdude1212 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that reference
_caponius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Draft picks, draft picks, draft picks. This season will be interesting.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:48:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's better than winning a gold medal at the special Olympics? Not being retarded
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:56:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's better than winning the WNBA championship?
Peeing standing up
JohnnyApathy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
finding $10?
JohnnyApathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
icecream?
Cshock84 ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 16:26:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just brutally murdered?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
superdude097 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:46:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't cum in an apple before I eat it.
Cshock84 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:00:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.
superdude097 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:11:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you get when you violently throw a baby down a flight of stairs?
An erection.
Cshock84 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:27:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What was the hardest part of watching my little brother get hit by a truck?
My dick.
superdude097 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:33:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's better than a dead baby nailed to a wall?
Four dead babies nailed to a wall.
What's better than four dead babies nailed to a wall?
One dead baby nailed to four walls.
Cshock84 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:36:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead, semen-filled babies?
There's not a Ferrari in my garage.
superdude097 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:43:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's better than the version I would have told. You win, it's been a pleasure.
Cshock84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheers, my friend. We were equally matched.
dibdob93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can still cum in its mouth.
MrAnder5on ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:58:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE HELL MAN! IT'S SIR ISSAC NEWTON.
Hashisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Real VMP
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:28:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.
wee_man ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:45:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the "brutally" is a bit over-the-top. You could just say "murdered" and be equally as effective.
D3ATHfromAB0V3x ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:16:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the word "brutally" could equate to something like torture, which could have been a higher level of fucked up shit than just murder.
zakificus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Brutally murdered" sounds better than "fucked to death" though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about baby I just sat on?
Asian_Dumpring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the whole point is that it's offensive. Although I guess it does kind of go past offensive into tasteless...
Tommy2255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but the joke does imply that the adjective is warranted.
Twin-KSA-Turbo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:56:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Error 404
Chill not found.
Error404- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
zawata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the worst jokes I have ever heard.
Well done.
Edit: worst as in "wrong"
PinkRocketNinja ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a minute.
I then read it out loud to my gf and her family.
Sister literally went D:
Cshock84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glad I could cause some form of emotion.
ThatScienceKid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are dead baby jokes always funny? They never get old.
Cshock84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
It wasn't born yesterday.
Hollis_Hurlbut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good lord
SQUATCH_HUNTARD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus hell
Cshock84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
C:
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, browsed the darkest jokes thread in askreddit a few weeks ago.
Cshock84 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:19:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I saw that in the thread, but I actually had a buddy tell me this a couple years ago.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:06:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its an old ass joke, not everything originates from askreddit
epicjaydude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vokmir Vokmir
DildoMelee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Isaac Newton died a virgin. I guess he got his by fucking every high schooler with calculus though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do i feel more sad about the fact Isaac Newton died a virgin?
pcy623 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NEW-BORN PORN!!!!
-A Serbian Film
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My Bosnian friends would love that joke. They seriously seem to all know the most terrible jokes in existence.
Brofistastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am offended.
Liam4242 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edgy
Cshock84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a little past edgy. This is just straight fucked up.
thatsaqualifier ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Time to leave your basement for a refill of the Cheetos your mother bought you and stocked in the pantry.
Cshock84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice jab, but there are a couple of problems with it.
I don't have a basement, I have a nice 10x10 room with a bay window.
I'm out of Cheetos, so cheez-its are my drug of choice for today.
My mother doesn't buy me anything because I'm a college-attending adult with a job.
Hope this clears up any misconceptions for you :)
thatsaqualifier ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm sure you could understand why I would make that mistake based on your comment.
Cshock84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. There are several other "offensive joke" comments that haven't warranted a hostile response. Why should mine? I just typed out the most offensive joke I know. I dot really think it's funny even. It just fit at the moment.
thatsaqualifier ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:14:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yours was the first one I noticed. But, don't worry, the others show a clear lack of functioning brain cells as well.
Cshock84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke, man. It's tasteless, offensive, and really not funny, but goddamn. Come down off your high horse a little.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Cshock84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I agree. But it's majorly offensive and suitable for the occasion.
Edit: I was agreeing that I didn't find the joke humorous. Nice down vote though.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:49:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you send a Jew to treat his A.D.D? To a concentration camp.
Turtle_78 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:33:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one is actually a good joke rather than being dark for the sake of being dark.
VealIsNotAVegetable ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, my grandfather died in a concentration camp!
And that's why the guard towers have railings now. (EDIT: No, I didn't. Don't AMA.)
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is Anthony Jeselnik
"My girlfriend got a haircut. And she came home and cried for two hours. Over a haircut. And I said, 'baby, why are you crying? It's just a haircut......I'M the one who has to find a new girlfriend.'"
Seph1rothVII ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:01:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This guy goes to a fancy dinner being thrown by his office. A waiter comes around with some hors d'oeuvre and suggests he tries the pork. The guy tells him, "No thanks, I'm jewish." The waiter replies, "Oh that's ok - they're free!"
Super_Zac ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:16:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really depends on when it's told, where it's told, and the general mood of the group it's told to.
snorlz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:22:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah thats why /u/XillaKato is saying it should always be acceptable
-Mountain-King- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:10:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. The excretion is abortion jokes, which have no delivery.
RocketCow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Global Offensive jokes.
But the reason offensive jokes aren't socially acceptable is sadly because they're offensive.
bass_n_treble ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:10:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most offensive jokes aren't even funny though. Not because they're offensive and shouldn't be joked about, but because they're lame and relying on shock value rather than a quality set up.
uss1701jb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still pretty pissed that Gilbert Gottfreid got booed hard after making a 9/11 joke.
fubes2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If something "offensive" becomes socially acceptable, then it probably isn't offensive anymore.
Standgeblasen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do Jews like watching porn in reverse?
They love to see the hooker give the money back.
thatsaqualifier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I think avoiding offensive jokes is a pretty good rule of thumb that will help you avoid a lifetime of being a loser.
Error404- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know he did it.
None. He fell.
Behind a badge.
FIuffyRabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I made an allusion to 9/11 and had to delete my previous account because of how many death threats I was getting in and out of reddit.
KansasMannn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you call something that's black and doesn't work?
Decaf Coffee
ADreamByAnyOtherName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does the sherrifs office call a black man with 37 bullets in his chest?
A really bad case of suicide.
Alternatively: Target Practice.
Amosqu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?
One comes back from camp.
PokemasterTT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I love cancer jokes.
Steakarino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, as I was fucking this hot babe, it was her first time, so she started bleeding a bit. She looked a little worried, so I said to her "Don't worry, that will happen once a month in around 5 years"
PraiseTheMetal591 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah why should I have sensitivity towards the feelings of others? Why shouldn't I be able to be a total prick without social consequence?
Why indeed.
XillaKato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is such a thing as "know your audience". Obviously I'm not gonna make a rape joke in front of a rape victim.
PraiseTheMetal591 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You assume you'll know that they were a victim. Many people keep it a secret.
The_Dill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You probably like offensive jokes as much as you do specifically because they aren't socially acceptable. At least, that's how it is with my friends who love making offensive jokes; it's fun because they shouldn't be doing it.
Anyway, until you have experienced any of the horrible things that people like to make offensive jokes about, your opinion on what should and shouldn't be offensive doesn't matter at all. Want to defend rape jokes? Ask the people who got raped if they think it's okay. Want to make racist jokes? Ask people whose lives have been harmed by racism.
As far as dead baby jokes (and the like) go, they are only funny because they are upsetting and not socially acceptable, it's not that they are high quality humor. In fact, it's all rather cheap humor.
virtual-toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sat down to play Cards Against Humanity recently with a group of acquaintances. Before we started playing, someone said, "First we need to take out all of the cards that are offensive or might trigger us." Most of the group agreed and started digging through the deck.
LET'S JUST NOT PLAY THE GAME THEN, FUCK
Milstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
how many black people does it take to start a riot? -1
butterbal1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gang rape.. Statistically speaking 7 out of 8 really enjoy it.
oh ok... 6/8 Her dad admitted to feeling bad the day after.
Taleya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's the opposite to Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken
koreanguy315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:54 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea but not to people who it may offend.
AtTheEolian ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's the type of offensive that makes all the difference.
Punching up? Go for it. Break down bullshit social norms and niceties.
Punching down? It's just lazy, boring comedy and you're profiting off things that actually hurt the people you're targeting. I'm not going to stop you, but be prepared for consequences.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:32:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some stupid shit right there.
Hedgehogs4Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard either of those idioms before. I think I get what you're saying, but could you explain in more detail what the difference is between punching up and down?
AtTheEolian ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://punch-up.urbanup.com/7898216
pokestar14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
question, what makes gays & other LGBTQIA groups lesser, not that
a. I speak for all of us.
b. we like having jokes made against us.
Hedgehogs4Me ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, thanks. Sometimes it's a little ambiguous, though - making fun of the things people say when they discriminate is punching up, while actually saying those things as a joke is punching down, yeah? With those sorts of things it can be hard to tell what part of it's the real joke unless you know the person.
AtTheEolian ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, it's one of those things where it's easier once you're hearing it.
King-Jimmy ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
From what I understood from his post, making a joke about someone who's mentally challenged or a rape victim or someone that lost a baby that can't really defend themselves or has no control over their situation is punching down.
Whereas making a joke about black people being natural watermelon loving criminals or a holocaust/gay joke is in a way punching up because they can either defend themselves or make similar jokes about you. Also they're more likely to actually find it funny. As opposed to a rape victim or someone who has lost a baby who will most likely be upset by the joke.
...or something like that I don't really know man.
gavinman44 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love your username. I get the reference lol
dontcallmefatm8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do we call bracelets for black people ? Handcuffs ( อก~ อส อกยฐ)
VulcanCitizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Offensive jokes are the best jokes.
Even my 8 year-old brother likes dead baby jokes. (Except the sexual ones, he doesn't understand those ones.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's because he's already been normalized by your father.
TagProNoah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh... There are plenty of jokes you can make without being offensive. To me, they're just childish. Especially rape jokes, which can easily trigger someone.
shamelessnameless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to realise that offensiveness is socially acceptable in reddit unless it's your particular specific group.
The same people who are up in arms about taking the piss out of religious symbols, are the ones that cry trigger at the moment something relating to someone's sexuality or their weight, is mentioned.
Nice_Dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think people who get offended by stand up comedians are the lamest people
PrinceofDementia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Never got why some people get "offended" or "annoyed", I mean its a fucking joke right ?
EDIT: I'm speaking as a person that belongs to a group that has a handful of "offensive Jokes" made against.
Hedgehogs4Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone of a group that people often make jokes about (the mentally ill) you have to be a little careful because some people will take it seriously, and some people look like they're I taking it seriously when making a joke. My crazy friends and I call each other things that you would never see anyone dare say to us if they haven't experienced it from someone who is serious, and that's sort of the difference. For me, anyway, "Watch out, he's a stamp collector" is funny if you've experienced discrimination on the basis that you might "go postal" even if it isn't you being discriminated against (I'm fine with my normie friends making jokes if I know they've seen it happen for real). If you're just saying it and you have no idea what you're talking about, it's like referencing a TV show you haven't seen, except there's the added possibility that you might be serious. And, believe me, there are just as many assholes as jokers.
But, yeah, if you know what you're saying and what it is you're truly referencing, go for it. It's no different and no less funny than joking about dead babies in a blender. Sometimes fucking hilarious.
PrinceofDementia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:23:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think my comment should've been clearer earlier (I'll edit after I'm done writing this one).
I too belong to a group that is usually made fun of (I'm an Arab, coming from a Muslim background). I've seen my share of "offensive" jokes that pokes fun at the stereotype that I find myself in due to that background. If its a Joke, I don't mind it.
Obviously there is a difference between making a non "PC" joke and being a complete asshole, but if its a joke (for the sake of a laugh and not bullying) its fine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all jokes are about someone's appearance or ethnic group though. For example, like /u/Offensive_Bastard said when they "tried" to be funny:
When you have to resort to that level of comedy to try to make people laugh, it's because you're not funny and are desperately trying to make people think you are. However, I challenge anyone who thinks that's funny to go to ground zero and start telling that joke around the streets.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean obviously its not,an ice breaker -_-
skwaag5233 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This 1000x. People are too goddamn sensitive sometimes. Jokes are away of talking about dark and offensive things not a way of condoning them. Sometimes its good if a joke, or a piece of media in general, makes you uncomfortable.
MyMostGuardedSecret ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:33:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling the truth.
Seriously.
Yes that dress makes you look fat. Would you rather I tell you I doesn't and have everyone think it when you wear it out?
I just don't feel like hanging out with you today. No fake made up reason, I'd just rather sit at home and play fallout cause that's what I'm in the mood for. Nothing against you, but if we do hang out, I won't have a good time because I'm just not up for it.
You said something just now that really offended me. Here's why I was offended. I understand you didn't mean it but I wanted you to know so you can try to avoid doing it again.
Seriously. Why are these things not ok to say?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:43:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking tell it!!
ItWasOnPurpose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for Fallout. 1, 2, BoS, Tactics, 3 or NV?
MyMostGuardedSecret ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3 and NV. Just finished NV last night.
ItWasOnPurpose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome! I'm playing NV right now. What was your character like?
MyMostGuardedSecret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went with good karma and followed the NCR. I tried to meet most of the factions and protect the respectable ones, but I was really pissed when I had worked hard to gain acceptance of the brotherhood only to have to blow them up. I felt like there should have at been a way to negotiate a truce after ousting McNamara.
ItWasOnPurpose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hooray NCR! They have the best overall ending, even better than Independent. You can make a truce happpen if you keep McNamara around, though. What guns did you use?
P.S. Since you are an honest fellow, let me know if I get boring or inconvenient.
MyMostGuardedSecret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha its ok. I picked up a recharger rifle pretty quickly and used that for a long time until the enemies got too powerful and I realized Boone was doing all the killing. Then I switched to a laser RCW.
Companions were Boone and Willow.
I also kinda wanted to do kind of a merge between NCR and independent. I took out Mr house before the NCR told me to. I woulda liked to take control of the strip myself then kinda work in alliance with the NCR. Would've been fun to follow both tracks.
T_Rash ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:46:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a 40 year old man and going to see Minions by myself
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/minionhate
sunnyday96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
was it good?
T_Rash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was but I expected it to be better
[deleted] ยท 822 points ยท Posted at 15:03:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 458 points ยท Posted at 15:48:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MrAxlee ยท 237 points ยท Posted at 15:52:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some rules parents come up with are so stupid, but I think the reason they don't take them back due to embarrassment, or not wanting to admit their rule is stupid.
I was never allowed my girlfriend to stay in my room - she always had to spend the night in the spare room, and my mother would put out a sleeping bag on the hallway between the two rooms and spend the night there. Apparently disgust for hearing others fucking when trying to sleep was only one way.
nicholt ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:14:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't remember who it was, but one guy had a great strategy for rule making (it honestly might have been Jim Gaffigan). Basically he did it the same as any other dad and made them up on the fly. But, every sunday at dinner he would allow his children to protest against his new rules if they disagreed with them. He said usually they would lose the argument, but sometimes the kids would have very valid reasons and he would admit his mistake. Seems like a really good way to operate.
btw, this was addressed to the first part of your post only...not sure I would want to bring up all that sex stuff at the dinner table lol
FullmentalFiction ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:08:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing this if I have kids, brilliant idea that also encourages critical thinking in the form of rule reasoning.
AZScienceTeacher ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 16:31:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being an adult means engaging in sex with any willing partner you choose.
Being an adult living at home means you forgo any hope to make your own rules. Get a job, move out, and then do what you want. Nothing more annoying than a 20-something who demands to be treated like an adult yet can't provide for themselves.
superhobo666 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 16:46:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are paying rent I feel like you should have some sort of bargaining power in this regard though.
Zaidswith ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:40:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people can't comprehend a roommate agreement with one's parents. I had one with my Mom for a couple years. Just the two of us, it was probably the best living situation I've ever had. We saw each other like twice a month due to conflicting schedules and split all the money/chores up. Never had any arguments over anything.
But if you tell someone you live with your parents they assume that your parents pay for everything, cook for you, do your laundry, etc.
I was raised to slowly take over those tasks for myself so I'd find it bizarre for my Mom to give me these weird rules or watch over my personal relationships as an adult. I guess other parents don't let their kids grow up, but expect them to handle it all as soon as they move out. WTF.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:15:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Zaidswith ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:32:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the worst of both types. Forced to be responsible but get to make none of the decisions.
I know it's sadly common but I don't understand the mindset. How do you expect the kids to grow up with the ability to function independently when you don't trust them to make any decisions on their own? Controlling can be just as detrimental as coddling.
I feel like transitioning to adulthood must've been very difficult for all of you (hypothetical you). These are the same type of parents who will throw you out at 18 because you're magically an adult and responsible, but how do you start from nothing? Or they'll sigh and wonder why their kid now has a drug habit/won't leave the house/hates them/any number of things.
HyruleanHero1988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:02 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let me guess, you were grounded by having your netbook taken away from you? That's how my parents were.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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SOMBREROOO ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:43:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can they though? I mean a lease is a lease, the same laws apply if it's your parents renting you the room or the loch ness monster. Can your landlord forbid sex in a room you are renting?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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SOMBREROOO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point is though that if you're charging rent for a room, it becomes a tenant landlord relationship by default, and with that comes the protection of the law, for both the tenant and the landlord.
If you are renting a room to anyone, even your kid, and they (or their friends) do some serious damage to your house, then refuse to pay for it, the law would also allow you to collect damages from them. When there's money exchanged for services, the agreement becomes a contract, even an informal one, and with that comes some legal repercussions.
I see what you're saying though, but you could probably still get in legal trouble for ending the agreement if your kid decided to have sex in the house, even after agreeing not to. You'd have to just say the room is no longer avaliable and give no explanation to be ok in the eyes of the law.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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SOMBREROOO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So the law changes between 2 adults when they're related? I don't follow. What other behavior can they dictate? And what law allows a landlord to disallow legal activity?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:04:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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SOMBREROOO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would agree if your parents let you continue living with them after you turn 18 rent free. But once they begin to charge their own child rent, the "tenant landlord" relationship is formed and with that comes some legal consequences.
I see where you're coming from though, so let's take the legal argument away. If I'm paying rent, I'm going to do whatever I please in my own space that I'm paying for or I'm going to find a place that doesn't burden me with their own preferences without regard to mine.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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SOMBREROOO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I suppose that's where we differ in opinion
Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely untrue. In almost all jurisdictions in common law countries, an actual legally binding agreement is made as soon as rent is paid. If you don't have a contract, you're on a month-by-month tenancy or an at-will-tenancy. This comes with rights and responsibilities. They also wouldn't be able to just kick you out, they'd have to give you proper notice.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No arguing necessary. Kicking someone who pays rent out without giving proper notice is illegal. There's really no two ways about that. They can do it in the same way every landlord can do it, but it wouldn't be legal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Timguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? How is an adult who pays rent to their parents a dependent? Depending on how you're using the term, to be a dependent they'd either have to be medically unable to live on their own, in which case they're obviously very protected, or they'd have to be a qualifying relative, in which case they wouldn't pay rent.
It's really not complicated: If you're paying rent, you're protected from being kicked out without notice. That's basic tenant protection. It would be terrible if it weren't the case.
Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If they're leasing to you, it'd imply that there's a contract. Even if there's no written contract, there are rights and obligations you take on as soon as rent is paid. You can be on a month-by-month tenancy without a written contract. Obviously varies by jurisdiction.
mocks_youre_spelling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can agree not to have sex though.
SOMBREROOO ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:49:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
However it wouldn't be legally enforceable if you broke the agreement, and you'd likely only agree to it under duress.
Timguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, they can't. Paying rent establishes a tenancy. Not being able to have sex in your own rented property - even if it's your childhood room - is not enforceable. The only thing your parents would be able to do is not renting to you.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:40:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents expect me to pay a fourth of the rent and utilities. Basically my room is my room. I'll respect their wishes about sex in common areas, but I'll be damned if I'm going to pay this much and not gonna sleep with my long distance fiancรฉ when he comes to visit.
mournthewolf ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 20:35:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't like your land lord, then move out. If you are live with your parents, then respect their wishes. It is very awkward for parents when their children have sex. This is why people move out on their own when they are sexually active adults.
Don't feel entitled just because you're an adult. Just paying rent doesn't mean anything. You're still living at home with very little real life responsibility. Have some respect and bang in your car like normal people.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:08:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I respect my parents just fine. And I lived on my own for a few years. I am only living with them while I'm in school. I have to change myself because it's awkward for them when I have sex, but I can listen to them screw like rabbits and no one cares about how awkward it is for me? Also, my fiancรฉ lives a thousand miles away, so this is not a common thing. He comes to visit maybe once every three months. I am not screwing him loudly every night. I think it's a little ridiculous that if I'm paying rent in an apartment on my own then I'm free to do what I want, but if I'm paying rent to my parents I'm not. We signed a contract and have a lease agreement. At least in my mind, if it has be signed and in a contract I should be able to screw whoever I want in my private room.
ETA: I live with my parents in Florida while I finish my schooling because it cheaper than living with my fiance in Pennsylvania. I am also paying off a shit ton of credit card debt and student loans. I would prefer not to rent an apartment by myself and acrue more debt or slack on school because I have to work extra hours. We split rent four ways. We divide costs like roommates. My brother and I and my parents. We're all adults and we all have sex lives. When fiance comes to visit we don't fuck in the kitchen, the shower, on the couch, or in any designated common areas. And we do not lock ourselves in my room and hump like rabbits all day. I think that's pretty damn respectful. To imply that I'm entitled is a load of bull and I have a lot of life responsibility. I help them and they help me, and it works for us. But I should still be allowed to have sex with my fiance.
Mackelsaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:17:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, if you signed an agreement, you may be able to call them out legally as infringing upon your rights to due enjoyment of your unit. This is the key that most people here are missing. Sure it's morally questionable for the parents to have a double-standard on sex in the house if the kid's paying rent (even arguably if not), but you can't really take action besides leaving the situation or rebelling UNLESS you've signed a contract and your local (usually Rental/Tenant's board) laws/by-laws to see what your legal rights are. They're breaching the contract if you can find a subsection that supports you.
turkturkelton ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:48:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is it awkward for their adult children to have quiet sex? The parents aren't being forced to watch. Do they just not like the idea of their child becoming an adult? Because that's more of a problem for the parents than the child.
AZScienceTeacher ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds good on paper. But you have to ask yourself if you can get your own place for what you're currently paying. (We both know the answer is no.)
Be damned all you want. You don't get to make the rules.
SanctumXVI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you know how the world generally operates.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's your opinion. If the want me to pay rent like an adult, then yeah I should have some say. And I could get an apartment with a full time job. Which I would have if wasn't in school. I was planning on putting off school and getting an apartment of my own. They offered to move me in.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Ges_Who ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:45:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think the rule is "No sex for anyone in this house". Pretty sure the rule is just directed at you. Not really hypocrisy, just an unfortunate rule for you.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:14:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"See son, we know youre obviously shit in the sack. We dont want to hear you huffing and wheezing for 2 minutes and then crying for 30 minutes."
laughat_myballs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother took that shit farther than most.
BEALLOJO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some commitment.
TreesOfGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parental rules aren't always made to be perfect or even to prevent the behaviors that they seem to be targeting. Sometimes they exist just to make your child stop and think a little. There are other reasons for parents to make rules that are hard to enforce. Legal liability is one.
LordEnigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"My house, my rules" bs
simchik316 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents also had the basement rule. But it makes more sense because their bedroom is adjacent to mine and the walls are pretty thin. So they send us down there to be out of sight and out of mind.
abig7nakedx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:50:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, maybe they were banking on him having the decency to not have sex on communal furniture, so that they thought that banning sex in his room meant banning sex outright?
DICKTracey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say they probably just didn't want to listen to their kids have sex...
PrettyGrlsMakeGraves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one I could possibly see a rationale for. Maybe his parents didn't so much care that he was having sex, but didn't want to hear them banging away from the room next door. The basement could have just been a more noise-insolated room/sex dungeon, further away from their sleeping heads.
SpittinWheelie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So why are all these people over the age of 21 still living with their parents?
marchingclocks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:47:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Latin American countries and many others as well is not uncommon to live with your parents until you graduate and find a stable job.
Particularly where I live it's really hard to find a job, and a job that a allows you to study at the same time wont be enough to live by yourself.
So me (21) and most of my friends live with our parents. Do we like it? No. But there's not so much we can do.
HauntedMinge ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:11:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everybody can afford to move out.
nira007pwnz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:13:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an Indian guy, and I'm not quite 21 yet but my parents would let me live with them basically as long as I wanted. I think some cultures just frown on the whole kicking out kids thing. My parents care a lot about family so they're okay with me sticking around for free. My older sister is 22 and they don't mind her staying here either. I feel guilty about mooching of their money and all though, so I'll probably move out once I can find out how to stop procrastinating.
Centias ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:13:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apart from a few years in an apartment for college, I lived with my folks until I was 25. I could have moved out earlier, but I stayed because it was cheap, we didn't really bother each other, and my parents are frankly pretty awesome. Moved out about 6 months after my now wife moved down here, but really things were still fine living with my parents. They still respected our privacy and we respected that we were living in their house. They didn't try to impose weird rules on us because we are adults and we were contributing some rent (which went up some to cover two of us, but still stayed pretty low).
For some people, it just works out. Not everyone feels suffocated living with their parents.
Slo333 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:29:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up on Long Island where people basically live with their parents until they die. It's hard to find a job at all, let alone one that pays more than minimum wage, and even when you do you can barely afford to pay more than your phone bill since rent for the shittiest and tiniest of apartments is at least $850 a month. The only people I knew living on their own had some kind of financial help from their parents or were living in an apartment that a friend of the family or family member owns and didn't have to pay rent at all or had to pay very little. It's ridiculous. I moved away a couple of years ago and don't miss it for a second.
SpittinWheelie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay cool. Thanks for the insight.
Wrathwilde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it would have against the law for them to put hidden cameras in your bedroom to spy on you, hidden cameras in the basement for security purposes, no problem.
Mando_calrissian423 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they put them in the basement so they wouldn't have to hear it. Also if you still live with your parents all of the "I'm an adult, treat me like an adult" arguments kind of go out of the window. If you want to do whatever the hell you want, move out.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They probably couldn't hear it with him down there.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:10:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He just didnt want his son to get some girl pregnant. Everyone knows bed sex leads to pregnancy. Couch sex is safe because of vinyl or something............
Mattpalmq ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:11:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is your last name Forman?
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 16:48:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Solution: don't live with your parents
DarkStar5758 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:59:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you have a couch in your room, where else are you supposed to sit? Are you supposed to just stand the entire time they are there?
What if you had a futon? Would that count as couch or bed?
MrAxlee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a desk chair, one of us would sit on that and the other on the bed. They started letting me and my ex girlfriend sit on the bed together after about 8 months, but still without covers or anything, hands to ourselves
baconnmeggs ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 16:39:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, if it's their house, they have the right to dictate that kind of thing. Go fuck somewhere else, get creative!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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oohshineeobjects ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:33:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sex is not a basic human need; it may be a basic human desire, but you will not die or become mentally ill from abstaining.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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TheKingOfToast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, their needs are met, but their rights are denied.
-WhenTheyCry- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's possible for a fed slave to be mentally healthy. "Keeping it together" doesn't mean health.
megacookie ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck just outside their front yard, right by the entrance. Give ol mom and pops an eyeful when they come home from work. That'll show em!
sebastian_____ ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 16:44:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you have you're own place, you can fuck when and where ever you like. But until then, their house and their rules.
austinino12 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:35:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents have always been super chill about this and it's great, especially my dad. " she's always welcome here, I can even go out if you two wanted alone time, she's always welcome to stay the night." I just feel like my parents expect it so why try and prevent it? They've always been pretty excepting.
imthefooI ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 17:21:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's their house.. They have the right to do whatever they want and tell you to do what you want. If you want to fuck whenever, then you might want to look into getting your own place?
Sirspen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated rant, but as for that last part, that's much easier said than done in the current working world. I've been stuck at Office Depot for the past year and a half making a laughable $8.65 (40c over minimum wage here after the maximum "promotion" allowed). Corporate cut our commission on warranties and tech services to 5% from 15 (for perspective, our senior tech who works full time to sell this stuff made $150 in commission for the entire last quarter). They just removed holiday pay entirely. Payroll doesn't let most of us have over 16 hours a week.
"Cheap" rent for an apartment here is $600/mo. Even if I had zero other expenses, I can't afford that.
punkrock1o1 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:09:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You need to find a new job.
And on the subject of that being much easier said than done in the current working world, frankly I just don't think you're trying hard enough if you can't find a better job or move out on your own.
turkturkelton ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:53:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look Jeb Bush. Not everyone is educated and not everyone has a technical skill. Those people should still be able to afford the cost of living but with minimum wage being what it is, they can't. You say work more hours? Employees don't get to choose how many hours they work and often there is a limit so that the company doesn't have to start giving benefits like health insurance. Finding another job by trying harder is so naive it's laughable.
punkrock1o1 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 21:18:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the kind of money he's making? Bullshit. I'm neither educated nor do I have a technical skill, but I can go out and find a full-time job making at least $10 an hour. There's so many resources available for job hunting out it's crazy.
He can't flip burgers? He can't wash windows? He can't do dishes? Either you're trying to move up in the world or not.
turkturkelton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:56:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have no idea where this person lives. If a cheap apartment is $600 a month I'm guessing its a small town in Nowhere USA. There are less jobs outside of cities. If you're used to metropolitan areas with a relative wealth of jobs you'd be surprised by the slim pickings outside of your own world view.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not everybody is old enough to get their own place.
AnusHoldus ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:42:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is their house.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:36:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and his fiance were visiting this weekend and my mom made me clean my entire freaking room so she could sleep in there. For the love of God, she sleeps in the same bed as my brother every other night, why can't she do it here too?
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:29:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their house, their rules?
Centias ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had a talk with my wife about this after reading an article someone wrote about teaching their kid about their genitals and such when they were like 5-6 (basics like 'that's a penis' and 'that's a vagina') instead of just going with cutesy names. We both agreed that it's super weird how stifling some parents can be about their kids exploring their sexuality, and that ours would be taught about sex as they grow up and the information starts to become more relevant, be able to ask us questions, and be allowed the freedom to safely explore sex in the privacy of their own room provided they take proper precautions, let us meet whoever they are dating first, and the both of them respect that they are still under our roof (and keep the noise down).
I'd rather provide a simple lock on a bedroom door and some condoms than deal with a case of 16 and pregnant.
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love it if my parents were like this about sex (don't get me wrong, they're great otherwise). Because let's face it, most teenagers are obsessed with sex. Much better to teach them that it's acceptable and to help them keep safe rather than make it taboo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think teens should have proper education, complete access to condoms and more reliable forms of birth control, not be shamed for their developing bodies/sexuality, etc. But in no way do I find teens having a sex life "acceptable." It's still not the smart thing to do.
Vanetia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know how it's gross to think of your parents having sex?
It goes both ways.
kickingpplisfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet they want grandchildren before they're 50...
chuckdiesel86 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:46:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always wondered about this, they know it's going on, right? As I get older, though, I think it's important for parents to limit adult activities for their adult child that lives with them. Some people would never leave their parents house if they could do whatever they want. I think parents use these kinds of rules to encourage their child to move out and be responsible. You will want to get a decent job so you can afford your own place and partake in all the adult fun. They are essentially telling you that you need to be a responsible adult before you can have fun as an adult.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:15:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking 16 years old or something?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:25:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are an 18 year old living at home and you don't understand why your parents don't want to hear you fucking several different women in their house?
You know how hosting you and your girlfriend/other one night stands would affect them? When you knocked one up and go to them begging for money.
Your parents don't think sex is gross. They just don't want to deal with the repercussions of you probably being irresponsible and not knowing any better.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:55:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude you are fucking 18 years old, you don't have "very long term". Very long term to you is like 3 months.
When you get old enough to realize how stupid you are at 18, you will realize why your parents don't want to host your marathon fuck sessions at their house. Me and my girlfriend at 18 would literally have sex 3 or 4 times a day if we were alone (shit, sometimes when we weren't alone we would sneak it in somehow). Parents know this and they at least try to not be the reason that you just knocked a girl up and have her parents coming to you asking why you hosted this shit.
Then you wouldn't be alive
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:53:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If they followed it themselves I would respect it more".
It's their house, not yours. They can do with as they please. Don't like it? Move out. While I do agree with HotCarls, assuming long term as 3 months is kinda pushing it. Young people can have long term relationships, but as far as your logic goes, it's believable since you can't wrap your head around the fact that it's not your place to say your parents shouldnt be fucking in the house if you cant.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If he is talking about sleeping with several different people I have a hard time believing he has several year relationships in there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also a good point
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I counted 2 and a half years as a long term relationship.
Like I said, their reasoning is what pissed me off. If they don't want to see/hear it, then why should I?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not your house. If my friends ask me not to eat their food at their house, wouldn't it be pretty stupid for me to say they can't eat their food either?
MrAxlee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:45:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they gave the reason that I'd leave crumbs everywhere, then they did and left crumbs everywhere, I'd be pretty confused.
cerberus_cat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:25:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe your mom just doesn't feel like changing and washing the bed sheets you had recently fucked under, or maybe your parents are afraid of accidentally walking in on you doing it. Might be something as simple as that, it doesn't necessarily make them evil. If they're really that uncomfortable with it, why would you even wanna force it upon them? Just try and find a different place for your activities, where it will bother no one.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:29:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You expect your parents to abide by the same rules as you in their own house? That's one of the dumbest things I've heard all day.
By_Design_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:28:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is might be the most angsty thing I have ever read. You're out of your mind if you don't understand why your parent's don't want you dipping your stick in their home. I hope your mom doesn't still do your laundry.
incredible.
johnsom3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who's house it? You may not like it but if it's there house they have every right to set the rules of what they find acceptable. This is one of the main reason that people move out of their parents house. At some point you are to old to just go along with rules you don't agree with.
Now if it's your house and they are staying with you, then they are completely in the wrong.
Banana_Turtle_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:47:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents won't allow me to have sex in the house, which is fine. I don't really care, there are plenty of other places if I wanted it bad enough even if its an inconvenience.
The REALLY stupid rule of my house? I can't sleep next to my SO in the house unless I am married. It was HUGE that he was even allowed to sleep in the back room, with 2 doors and my dogs between us. Its not like my family is religious (atheist and buddhist) but holy shit. I just don't get it. but its TOTALLY COOL if I sleep beside him anywhere else (friends, his place, his parents place).
Its the stupidest rule I have ever heard of and every time I argue it my parents flip their shit. They also don't have any good reasons. they just say "Its our house." REALLY? IM 21 COME ON.
meekotherogue ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:38:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I was 24 before my mom let my boyfriend sleep in the same bed as me when we came to visit. This was when I was no longer living at home, hadn't been for some time, and to top it all off I had been living with my boyfriend for a few months..
We finally were allowed to when she realized his mom let us sleep in the same bed when we visited there.
Tattered_Colours ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:40:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend's parents are weird about this. Mostly her father and then her mother by extension since it bothers the father so much. He just doesn't like the idea of his daughter being in any sort of romantically intimate situation. This means we can't have her door closed, be under her covers watching netflix, or even hug horizontally. We're both in college.
excusemefucker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:46:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 15 or 16 I had dated this girl for 2-3 weeks when I finally was over at her house when her parents were home. We'd fooled around some at this point, but no sex.
We were sitting in the basement watching a movie when her mom came down, we did the introduction thing and she started back up stairs. She stopped half way up and shouted down "condoms are in the end table and please don't do it on the couch"
It was an odd boner killer to have her mother say that and be ok with her 15 year old daughter getting plowed in her basement. I'm all for parents being open and encouraging safe sex if they are having sex, but seriously do that conversation before hand.
MrAxlee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My ex girlfriends mum was fine with it - she left us sandwiches outside the door for when we finished
ryercakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Move out?
ThatSmegmaGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair they probably pay the mortgage. I feel like they have a little bit of a say over who can and can't fuck in their own house.
Guestyperson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were pretty permissive/liberal. At 16 (the age of consent here) I got a talk that amounted to "You're probably going to have sex soon if you're not already. Make sure that you trust the person you're doing it with, etc. etc. I'm not going to pretend it's always a magical, life-affirming thing rather than jut a bit of fun though. There are condoms under the sink, make sure you use them if you're going to have sex, and if you're going to screw someone do it in a house rather than being unsafe outside. I don't mind you bringing them back here, just respect that other people live here and don't wake anyone up."
Because of that I've always found it a bit weird when people talk about their parents trying to control their sex lives. I've always thought it just pushes people to be unsafe in how they go about it rather than stopping them from doing it. Like intellectually I get that my experience was the exception, not the rule, but I've never got why that's the case beyond the general "ick" factor of contemplating your family's sex lives. And I've always thought that if you're not mature enough to deal with talking with your kids about sex in terms other than "Ick" then you should probably not have kids.
Knowing that my parents respected the fact that I was an adult with my own sexual desires and agency made it a lot easier for me to develop my own respect for the fact that I was an adult with my own sexual desires and agency, which in turn pointed me very early on towards developing as someone who respected other people's agency and consent. Also made my life a hell of a lot easier when I had to come out as bi, having an attitude of "my sex-life, my business."
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I'd love to, and will, raise my children. Sex shouldn't be a taboo subject, and you should always be able to talk to somebody about problems you're having on that subject, and being able to talk to your parents comfortably about that could in no way be a negative thing.
Exitaph ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:44:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moving out of my parents house after high school was one of the best things that ever happened. Not sure how old you are, but the wait is worth it, man!
sirspidermonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents had that rule. Even after I was married and we were living in my bedroom (for a month between places) I got in trouble for her sitting on the bed
In High school I pointed out that the door doesn't need to be closed to have sex, nor does there need to be a bed involved. That ironically got me kicked out so I stayed with my girlfriend. My parents got REALLY upset at that and demanded I moved back in...
At one point in the middle of fight (when you are most logical) with my parents I ended up listing the places I did have sex that wasn't "under their roof" which included, but is no way exhaustive:
They kicked me out again. I stayed at the girlfriends again. Rinse, repeat.
tl;dr: I took it literally when they said I "can't have sex under their roof"
jamiebiffy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:35:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really understands this. I'm 16, my girls 17, we have been together for nearly three years (we had a few months break in between) and her parents don't let us in the house on our own ever. On the other hand, my mother works in sexual health and provides me with condoms... Life is so much easier with understanding parents that you can talk to.
cactuscat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Record them and play it back when granny visits.
Tattered_Colours ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more weirded out that they provided rules at all. I'd just be like "I'd prefer you didn't have sex in my house, but at least have the courtesy to do it when I'm not around."
Romeo_horse_cock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man your parents let you guys have sex in the house ever? My mom found out I did once and slapped the shit out of me. Door always open. On top of my bed sheets too. Yeah it was really embarrassing.
MrAxlee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They didn't let it happen, but they caught us the first and only time I've ever tried while they were home, and it wasn't a good sight
Romeo_horse_cock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh I see. If my mom thought we were touching I got in biiiig trouble. It sucked
Yumsyxox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mum was like this, I was 17 when I started having sex with my first & current boyfriend, she would be really pissy, come storming in the room no knocking hoping to catch us. After a couple of time we never stayed round there again, always went to his where his parents just left us to it. When my son is older I will have no problem having girls over once he is of age, as long as he is respectful of us being in the house (I.e. keeps the noise down) there won't be a problem...
freckle_juice_mama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's disgusting, I'm sorry. Being a parent and not wanting my kid to have possibly risky sex is one thing, and not wanting to know my kid was having sex while I watched TV is also another thing... but having boisterous sex while my kid is in the house? No. Nope. Sorry. My husband and I wait until our boys are dead asleep, or sometimes until they're sleeping over somewhere else, to break out the crazy.
kmuelle6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My grandparents made me and my fiance who OWN A HOME together sleep in separate rooms over fourth of July.
quetzalKOTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was the problem you having sex at all, or you having sex in the house?
The_KaoS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28, and my girlfriend is 21. I've been living on my own for ten years, she's been out of her parents house for a few, and we lived together for about a year before she moved across the country to go back to college, and is staying at her mom's house. I get to see her once every few months, and when I visit down there her parents won't even let us sleep in the same room, and had the "door stays open" rule.
Seriously? We're adult people, what is this? I want to sleep next to my girlfriend.
AnthonyG23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's their home! Just wait til your daughter comes home and wants to close the door in her bedroom so she can get it on with some young punk.
SoulFire6464 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my mom. I'm glad she's still sexually active at her age, it's healthy to have sex. But I don't want to hear it when I'm trying to sleep.
It's worse when she pretends it never happened for some reason.
sweetmojaveraiin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another thing I don't really get is why my boyfriend and I can't sleep in the same bed when we stay at our parents' houses. We're both college seniors so we've obviously spent a lot of nights sleeping together already, plus it's pretty much the last place we'd go to have sex.
fatherjokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They would have to deal with your kid. Especially if they're still having to deal with you living in their house.
doesnotgetthepoint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you can't fuck IN the house...
msanthropologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I'd rather know my kid was having sex somewhere safe than in the back of someone's car. The idea of her having sex at all is terrifying to me, but eventually it's going to happen. Would rather it happen somewhere that condoms are readily available and that she feels comfortable in. As long as it happens when I'm not home or when I'm asleep, that is.
OC4815162342 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But it's their house their rules. If they say you can't have sex under their roof that's the end of it. Do you pay the mortgage/bills? No? Deal with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since you apparently don't pick up on social cues, allow me to translate:
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No sitting in bed? The fuck?
LOTM42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well they own the house they can have sex whenever they want.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their house their rules. That's just been the way it is. Same as it will be with your house.
TJzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
while they are moaning in the middle of the night just loudly burst into moaning YES YES YES then when they stop be sure to ask them HEY WHY U STOP I WAS GETTING TO THE GOOD PART. establish dominance.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't even allowed to be in the same room as my boyfriends sans a chaperone when I was a teen.
If my boyfriend stayed over, he had to stay in my brother's room.
We were most certainly NOT allowed to be in a room alone, with the door closed.
Of course, this just led to us doing a whole bunch of shit that was potentially dangerous, and illegal, like fooling around in public places.
GenocideSolution ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last line killed me.
peopIe_mover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dadss rule was two pronged, the only person having sex in his house was him, and if I want to have a girl over for sex, then I should be getting my own place, it was reasonable, and I had no issues with it.
BLamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you? Maybe that's their way of trying to get you to move out.
MrAxlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
18 - I have very good reasons to still be living at home, and as much as I want to move out its very hard for me to at the moment (and not that I'm too lazy to get a job, I'm working 52 hours a week). They're not in a rush to kick me out because they know my situation well
KazROFL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's their way of telling you to move out bro.
awesomesonofabitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their house, their rules.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you paying rent, bro? Have you paid them back for bringing you up? How about all the shit they've had to put up with for you? What about them destroying their lives, to give you one?
stfu
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it is their house, not your house.
APoisonPancake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:18:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next time it happens, walk into their room and pull your Mom outside and say YOU ARE BANNED FROM THIS HOUSEHOLD
amedeus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:59:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck with the door open.
Youdontevenknowbro ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stay classy mum and dad
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite thing to do when parents don't want your partner in your bedroom is let them catch you in the bedroom, with the door closed, wrapping christmas gifts.
MrAxlee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:49:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One time we played porn loudly as we heard them pull in the driveway, so they opened the door to the sound of sex. Was a pretty funny reaction. Still got bollocked for us both being home alone. Worth it.
By_Design_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
worth what? you sound like a fucking nightmare. I bet your patents are counting the days till you move your ass out.
DanklinTheTurtle ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go to their room, open the door, and say "no sitting on the bed."
agbmom ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 21:43:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk about this one. I'm a mom and I know at 16+ my daughter will probably be sexually active but I don't want to know or think about it going on in the next room. I mean that's my little girl & it's something I want to ignore forever. On the opposite side when I was 16+ having sex when my parents or his parents were home knowing we weren't supposed to made it that much better.
[deleted] ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 16:49:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing a bra.
Yes, I have nipples. Get over it.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:48:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:34:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't poop, I just talk shit instead.
Unique_Cyclist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:47:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!
Ataya970 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was beautiful, I want it tattooed
Zombiecidialfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remind me to use Listerine after kissing you then.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:29:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I add guys not wearing underwear when wearing mesh shorts to this?
A neighbor where I used to live called me "indecent" because she could see my "thing" (she must have been afraid to say dick) through the fabric of my mesh shorts.*
*The shorts weren't see through, the fabric just contorted to the form underneath.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
are you my dad?
the_omega99 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's so weird because underwear won't stop you from seeing the outline of your penis, especially if you were to have the misfortune of getting an erection (which could show through even tighter underwear).
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: men have nipples too! I don't see too many man-bras out there though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be forever thankful, underboob sweat is hell on earth.
toastfacegrilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless you're rather petite I thought it was for your own sake
Trolling-along ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
Deadbreeze ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't get mad if I keep looking at them. Bra-less nips are fucking sexy.
xxTheGoDxx ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No problem here, but don't bitch when we look at them :-)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:52:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow, all of these "don't be upset when we look at them" comments are reminiscent of having someone breathing down your neck...
xxTheGoDxx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, its not what I said is it? You are a grown up, you know men like titys as well as seeing the contour of nipple through your shirt. If you present them in a sexual way we will take a look, that doesn't mean we stare at your body for seconds or that we make assumption about your sex life.
Hey, you would look at our junk when we walk around with half a boner in leggings/sweat pants, wouldn't you?
You can't be all cool with (mild) "socially unacceptable" behavior and expect your surroundings not react to it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:44:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
say what?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, but taking a look (normal) is different from ogling. I wouldn't think it prudent to have to mention "hey, I'm gonna stare at your body" - just do it, and with discretion. No need to mention it.
xxTheGoDxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, agree with that :-)
schizokid ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a bra was never made for concealing the nipple... It was always about appealing more sexy.
simonsimonsimonsmon ยท -33 points ยท Posted at 17:58:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
DO YOU WANT YOUR FUCKING BOOBS SAGGY WHEN YOU'RE 40?
ThePancakey ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:04:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing a bra can strengthen muscles and help keep breasts from sagging.
Have you worn a bra?
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:15:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's good to do pushups too, keep them girls up.
Cunt_Bag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boobs are already saggy at 23 and I've worn bras since I was 11.
simonsimonsimonsmon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
rest in peace
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try, VS marketers.
Omniscently ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:44:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling other people's kids to shut the the fuck up (basically).
deezmcgee ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:27:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I don't care if you are trying to ignore their screaming for attention, I can't ignore that shit. Tell you kid to shut up or I will. I suspect I gained that view from working 3 years in a grocery store and wanting to yell at a ton of screaming little brats.
Vhett ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:25:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I have a story about my mom doing this to someone else's kids!
I think I was about 15 or 16 at the time. Some minor backstory in relation: My father died when I was 7, so my mom was left to raise me through the majority of my life on her own, and really needed some emotional support from me due to my father's passing.
One of the ways we tried to continue our bond was going to see films and talking about them. I'm not talking about Transformers or something, say a movie like The King's Speech. I can't remember the specific movie we saw, but there were a group of pre-teens or very young teenagers present in the theatre who, for God knows what reason, wanted to see the movie. There were no adults present near them, so I assume the group of friends just went by themselves.
From the minute we got into the theatre, these kids were obnoxiously loud, and also using their cellphones with full brightness. They were on the left-hand side of the theatre. The ones in Canada are usually split into columns like:
Where the majority of the theatre is seated in the "midde".
Even as the movie begins, these kids are still going wild, and there's several other people in the theatre constantly glancing over at them. My mom was a school teacher, and generally an awesome person, so she decides she's had enough and walks over to them, even though sixteen year-old me is thinking "Oh God no."
My mom walks over, and tells them that they can either be quiet, or she'll have them removed by: She points over to me, and proceeds to tell them I work at the theatre (which I did at the time), and that I can also phone their parents after their kicked out.
I gave a half-assed wave, sinking into my chair, and the kids actually just got up and left the theatre altogether. At the time I was employed, a ticked for each of them would have cost $11.50 CAD, and the combos were another $10 minimum.
At the time, I was a bit peeved at my mom due to my young age and fear of being embarrassed, but posting and thinking back on it, my mom probably saved me, and perhaps fifty other people from a terrible movie experience due to four immature kids.
Whothehelldoyouthink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:19:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You deserve gold. The only thing worse than kids are their parents.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:58:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Omniscently ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't necessarily mean saying "shut the fuck up," even though that's what is honestly needed sometimes it seems. But respectfully saying "your kids are distracting" or "are making it hard to hear so and so," i don't think is rude, nor should it be perceived that way IMO.
venterol ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 22:00:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking your friends. Like, we both share a ton of interests, we're not hideous, and we're not in committed relationships. As long as it's understood it's just for fun, why can't a fuck just be a fuck?
Tylensus ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:19:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friends with benefits are pretty socially acceptable where I'm from.
DietPillPyramid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:37:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not anti FBW by any means, but if feelings develop (for only one party), friendships could suffer. In some ways, it's a gamble.
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 00:34:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
voldemort_the_righte ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:11:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's rape... and I feel like that isn't what they were talking about.
JukemanJenkins ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:55:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Silence. I'm not going to fill the air with random bullshit. If I have something constructive to say, I'll say it. The concept of awkward silence is constructed by people who don't know when to stop talking.
Dumpster diving doesn't bother me. I don't do it, but I don't judge others that do.
Being honest with people instead of lying to save their feelings. If I go somewhere with someone and I could've lived without going to, then I'll tell them it was or okay or it sucked. I'm not gonna be like "Jeez, that was fantastic! I can't wait to go again". Everyone is so afraid of offending each other. As a result, everyone tiptoes around and nobody is straight up about anything.
platinumsatan666 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:35:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Call me soulless but going barefoot. I understand in places of buisiness, but other than that what the fuck is wrong with feet? Also not dressing up for certain events, particularly events that don't mean anything to you. Explain to me why the ability to pay for dress clothes is equated to being a glowing example of what a man should aspire to be. All it means is that you had hundreds of dollars to spend on clothes that aren't even comfortable. Stupid if you ask me.
DeadProle ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:44:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Soulless? More like soleless!
FullmentalFiction ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:16:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My only concern is stepping in something, like glass. Or shit...
shitlord-privilege ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wear Fivefingers any time I'm not barefoot. It's the next best thing and socially acceptable. Well mostly, people sometimes comment on them or look at them strangely, but they are shoes.
accountdureddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't care as long as you don't wear these.
(someone please link the relevant xkcd!)
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE wearing shoes. Of course, I wear them (most of the time) when I have to, but... I'd rather not a lot of the time.
I went to vote at the last State Election sans shoes. :D
caitlime ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:21:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public, with or without a cover. Whatever makes mama and baby comfortable.
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 14:51:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity
StevetheLeg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Along those lines,
Who is the group against girls being topless in the whole freethenipple campaign?
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:30:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem is, the naked people are never the ones you wanna see naked. I'm cool with everyone covering up cause of that.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:40:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily people aren't naked specifically for you
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they are.
georgiespies12 ยท 175 points ยท Posted at 13:58:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kristen Stewart. I seriously don't understand the vitriol she draws on reddit... I mean, I bet the average redditor hasn't seen the Runaways, so maybe that's the closest thing I have to a theory. Can someone explain this to me? Where are these imaginary hoards of people who worship the ground she walks on? Because I never hear accolades that make her worthy of detraction...
dobodlee ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 14:59:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like any of would turn down a role in a shitty movie that guaranteed tremendous wealth
Gary_FucKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I'd suck a hundred sparkly dicks if it meant getting the millions they've gotten from those movies.
ceetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A thousand.
spndl1 ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 14:25:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Her, Pattinson, and Lautner are the faces of Twilight and reddit hates Twilight. It's easy to hate something you can put a face to.
I dislike Twilight, it's not for me, but I would totally do what Pattinson did, take the paycheck and subtly dig at what I really thought of the movies in interviews.
kanst ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:02:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is amusing is that Kristen Stewart has been pretty clear that she also hates Twilight. You can hate it as much as you want, but if you offered me 10 million dollars id slather on glitter and put in some fake vampire teeth and read that shit dialogue.
She is a slightly above average actress. She doesn't have the greatest range but if she gets to play a sulking woman she plays it really well and nuanced. I thought she was really great in Still Alice.
georgiespies12 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:29:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, thanks to an uneventful weekend and FX, I'll say she did the best she could with the material given to her... I mean, what the hell can you do when you are written a line like "You nick-named my child after the Loch Ness Monster?" She had roles before and after! This seems very insufficient to me.
spndl1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:34:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other than Adventureland and Jumper (maybe Snow White and the Huntsman), her other movies aren't really targeted at reddit's primary demographic of 18-35 year old males (who tend to be the most vocal).
They probably didn't watch Twilight, either, but Twilight was impossible to avoid when it was at the height of its popularity.
It doesn't matter how talented, or lack thereof, she is if the people complaining about her aren't watching her movies.
georgiespies12 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:35:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There it is! I personally think she deserves an Oscar merely on merit of being able to perform in Twilight without busting into gales of laughter. I know I couldn't. That shit was ridiculous!
spndl1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:38:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People crapped on her for having no emotion on screen or off during Twilight, but I'd probably have trouble mustering any emotion given the source material or enthusiasm during interviews about Twilight (given the source material and knowledge my performance is crap because of it).
fitzstar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:02:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reason she has no emotion in the films is because that's how she's written in the books; Bella Swan is probably one of the most boring, deadpan, 2D characters to ever hit bookshelves.
spndl1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I don't disagree at all, but that's primarily what her haters know her from, and using the small sample size, they say she has no emotion.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think everyone saw Twilight. I know I did and I think she still sucks at acting from what I've seen. She's cute and all, but kind of reminds me of my ex. I don't think she deserves hate, but I don't think she deserves praise either.
clappingdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She had a small part in Into The Wild that wasn't bad.
cactuscat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:23:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought she was a good actress for the role of angsty emo teen. The problem was the story and writing, not the actors.
berthejew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adventureland, she played a similar role and was actually okay opposite Jessie Eisenberg.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:42:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand the vitriol, either. Although in a lot of her roles Stewart is very emotionless, like a female Keanu Reeves.
But I think a lot of it is the fact that the only thing they've ever seen her in is Twilight, and the dialog was so bad in Twilight that people tend to rage at the person saying the terribly-crafted sentences as opposed to the invisible writer who wrote them.
Hayden Christensen didn't write the "I hate sand" speech, but he is the face of it.
Ace417 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was super unemotional in snow white and the huntsman
spleenwinchester ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:16:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kristen Stewart has been in the public eye since childhood and a considerable amount of her life has been out of her control for a long time. And people dig at her for being awkward/unfriendly in public but she has GONE ON RECORD saying that it's usually because she has paps screaming invasive things at her and is trying not to burst into tears. People can't handle when a woman is unfriendly or private. That all said, she's a decent actress when she's doing a project she loves, like Runaways, The Cake Eaters, Adventureland, etc.
Crown4King ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:32:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the Runaways was great, so underrated
Dumebuggy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:34:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, the Runaways is a great movie and she did SUCH a good job as Joan Jett. I always tell people who hate on her to watch that movie.
georgiespies12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have everything in common. When I read this review, I was like, this guy knows my heart. That's just how I felt watching her. I mean, she was such a perfect choice for that role. Mono-syllabic but still completely mesmerizing and magnetic.
iamnotarob0t ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:16:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really like her, and she was fucking top notch in The Runaways.
elitegenoside ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Her worst roles are her most well known.
memoriesofbutter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:06:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a terrible judge of actors, but from what I hear she's committed the egregious sin of being a mediocre actor. Also, I think people don't realize just how much prejudice we have for women who don't have easy smiles. It makes people feel insecure, so they blame the women themselves for being neutral-faced/unreadable.
Rustash ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She slept with the director of that Snow White movie she was in, while already in a relationship. That's pretty scummy to me.
Not to let the director off easy though. Dude had a wife and kids. If Kristen Stewart is scummy, he's absolute garbage.
sibeliushelp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I still think that whole thing was a publicity stunt and that she's totes gay.
killing31 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I've always suspected this as well. I wouldn't be surprised if the dating Pattinson thing was just a way to promote the movies. It was obvious she wasn't really comfortable acting fake in interviews. One time an interviewer asked her who her first celebrity crush was and she said "Natalie Portman" and the guy was like wut.
Rustash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty shitty stunt then.
Ataya970 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The gay part isn't a matter of if you think it, she is. Her mom outed her last month, which is a shitty thing to do but still.
ThatsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's possibly totes bi. Bi is a thing.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/who-alicia-cargile-kristen-stewarts-5881700
sibeliushelp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know she was dating a girl now. She's just always set off my gaydar.
bratzman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think she's just a bad liar. She seems like such a fun person in reality and she clearly has a lot more energy and more expression when she's not being someone else and I think that's the problem. She knows she isn't these people so she's trying to lie, in some part of her head so it comes off just a little stiff.
jayjayzee98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's hot that's why.
Tylensus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The average redditor doesn't give a flying fuck about her. Just because a post gets 3k points doesn't mean a website with millions of users share that posts opinion.
merkon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm one of the only people who admits to finding her attractive these days.... Like yeah, Twilight sucks and all, but if you saw her on the street and didn't know she was in Twilight, many people would be very interested in her.
jacktheBOSS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We like her now that we've seen her great tits.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually thought she ruined The Runaways. It would have been a way better movie if they picked someone with better acting chops to play Joan Jett.
serosis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:36:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would not mind boning her, but I do not like any of her films.
Actually, Snow White and the Huntsman comes close to watchable.
nirach ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally? It's because I find her personality, or what's broadcast of it, entirely insipid.
Reinhart3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:00:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
twilight is dumb and stupid and shes on twilight so she sucks
Keldon888 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think shes pretty shitty for cheating on that Twilight guy with her married director. Otherwise she seems like a middle of the road actress.
Running4coffee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its the whole no native actor playing a native person.
georgiespies12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:36:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry I don't understand. Could you expand upon your comment?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's talking about Taylor Lautner?...For some reason...?
KevanBacon ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:29:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not having kids or getting married.
It's pretty much a social norm to get married and have children. I personally don't think this is a must do in my life. I see it as a variable. My career path, place of residency, life style choices, and anything of that nature is in my control. But who I marry and the kids I have are not entirely in my control.
I might get married. I might not get married. I might have kids. I might not. But if I didn't, I'm totally fine with that.
Marriage and children are something I don't really have in my mind. People think that's "unfortunate" of me to feel this way but why do I have to do any of that? I don't.
Antitheistic10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agree. And because I'm still in my early 20's people seem to think that I don't know what I'm talking about and that I will definitely change my mind
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always said I wouldn't have kids, but find myself changing my mind, and I'm in the early 20's myself. But at the same time, I'm sure there's people who always said they'd have kids but end up never having any, or having to adopt. You never really know what people you will meet or how your life will be changed by someone or something; I agree that assuming that everyone will get married and have kids is a bit silly. Personally I think it would be a lot nicer if instead of "have kids" the social norm changed to "adopt kids". And that the social norm equally accepted that not everyone needs/wants kids.
WhompWump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like marriage and bringing someone into this world filled with evil against their will are big enough decisions that I should be convinced to have it happen not just want to have it happen by default.
I'd get along just fine without either one.
[deleted] ยท 1180 points ยท Posted at 15:41:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Holku ยท 1483 points ยท Posted at 16:41:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't call people retards. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. - Michael Scott
Luuuuuurrker ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 17:36:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOLbuFVG0fs
you missed a big part on the first part
"you don't call retarded people retards.."
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:38:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pro tip: If you're using Michael Scott quotes to justify your position, it's not a good position to have.
blamb211 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:30:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but it goes with the joke, and was funny to begin with.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:20:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I totally agree though. I always use offensive words with my buds that we can all use with each other and no one minds. What makes an offensive word "bad"? It's (either/both) the intention of the user to hurt someone, or the pain of an unintented victim. I wouldn't call someone with an inherited neurological disorder a retard because I know that the word has been used historically in an oppressive/ hateful way, and I wouldn't say it to someone I'm not comfortable with because I'd rather play it safe than risk striking a nerve and really causing distress to someone. My friends on the other hand know that we can call each other retards because that how you bust balls.
If I use a word that makes someone uncomfortable and they let me know that it bothers them, I will respect them and drop the word around them, but if someone tells me I can't say something, my inner 12 year old will act accordingly.
royjones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about Christopher Titus?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqLvrNmOTJk
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like a lot of redditors see people on tv and think "oh he's cool, I wanna be like him", when in reality they're written as assholes and we're meant to laugh at them for being so dim. Michael Scott however, unlike David Brent, was written to be likeable.
not_a_cool_name ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And your siblings.
Flesh_Canoe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't call people retards. You call you're friends retards when they're acting retarded. - Michael Scott" -Holku
Stupid_Ned_Stark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's "You don't call retarded people 'retards'."
wracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's beautiful.
huet99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:39:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot "it's poor taste"
overpaidbabysitter ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 17:39:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand where you are coming from, but I still cringe when I hear people say it. I understand why people think it's not offensive and chose to say it. I work with people with disabilities and the stories they've shared with me about being called a retard by their peers or family members or what not just breaks my heart. I don't personally use it, but I try not to preach it onto my friends unless we're in a public space, I will maybe then ask them to watch what they're saying. I know I have no right to try and censor people's vocabulary, but it's hard for me not to.
bloodofdew ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:40:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It should be noted, that almost every word intended to point out someones lack of intelligence used to be a word to describe mentally handicapped people, and "retarded" isn't anything new. Stupid, dumb, idiot, and moron were all once the "psychological" terms for varying degrees of mental disability.
And in my experience, it's fairly easy to separate the friendly insult for the actual definition of the word. And to take it for it's more literal meaning just so you can be offended actually seems more selfish to me than I would consider them using the word to be unempathetic (I know its not a real word, but I can't think of the one I want). Basically, by taking offense to someone obviously using the term to tease his friend for a less-than-intelligent mistake does more to make it about you than it does to make them feel bad.
It's like that for a lot of common insults like "gay" and "retarded." I don't think its "mean" for people to use these insults as long as they aren't insulting someone for actually being homosexual or mentally handicapped, and it seems to be easily distinguishable to me. South Park actually has a decent episode that more or less explains what I'm saying when they call loud obnoxious motor cycle gangs gay.
TheKrakenCometh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To nitpick, they call the bikers fags, not gay.
Tramd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's nitpicking, that was the entire point they were making.
bloodofdew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh, mb, same principle though, since in the episode a group was getting offended at a word not directed at them.
Sinnocent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is my thought exactly but I still cringe at myself when I say it because I'm cringing at what others might think of me for letting it slip. I rarely use it but when it slips out in public it spikes my anxiety.
giantdeathrobots ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:00:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, a guy I know has a younger brother with a mental disability, and ever since I've become friends with him I've stopped saying it. I didn't realize the impact it could have.
sequestration ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here.
After having friends with DS express how much it hurt to hear it used in a derogatory way, even if it wasn't directed at them, and people rationalizing its use at others people's expense was enough to make me replace it with other, and much better, insults. Even when they aren't around. It feels wrong.
starfirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moron, dolt, idiot and fool all meant the same as retarded before people started using then as insults. The linguistic need for the word to be used that way will never go away, just the word will change
Iamadinocopter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:12:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Retard has a valid definition. Using it as an insult is perfectly fine too. Some people are idiots, some are retarded. Nobody wants to be like that hence it is insulting to be likened to something you are not.
cinemartian ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:49:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But there are much better words for those scenarios, "stupid", "idiot", "Sarah Palin". It never seems to bother people until someone they know is handicapped.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there some background that makes the term offensive. It used to be the term for it. I don't even know what's proper now because everything lasts a while before it becomes "offensive." Is it mentally challenged, mentally handicapped, intellectually disabled, mentally disabled, or something else?
cinemartian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a constantly evolving set of terms, which seem to change when a new form of disability starts becoming more known. When my younger sister was alive we would just use disabled or handicapped, those still seem to be fine.
cinemartian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also to answer the original part, the late 90's and early 2000's is when it started losing favorability with the masses, mostly because it was being used in a derogatory and abusive way in every day life.
TankLeFlame ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:20:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also love what Rick and Morty had to say about this
Antitheanimator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well that's retarded.
canuck1701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My man
superniceguyOKAY ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't get enough of this show and the writing... I NEED SEASON 2 IN MY LIFE NOWWWW!
canuck1701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just 2 more weeks, existence is pain!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first 2 episodes are out there already.
Greedwell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You like what they both say, even though they disagree?
narp7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The important part is not that they disagree, but that with such a short exchange they can cover the whole issue in a nutshell.
But yes, I like what they both say.
maanu123 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:45:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I mean honestly, if it's wrong to say "retarded" then we might as well not say "stupid" or "idiot"
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:14:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh trust me, some have asked others to not use words like "stupid" or "idiot" in a derisive context. Called them stupid anyway, because they were being fucking stupid.
barristonsmellme ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:48:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle (well, nan's brother) had Down's Syndrome so we were banned from using whatever word was considered offensive at any given time. Though she could remember times when mongoloid and spastic where the acceptable terms.
It's like calling something shit. You're not actually saying it is a piece of poo, you're comparing it to such. Like me saying something isn't retarded isn't me observing that an item or an act may have a mental disability, it's saying "that is something that would take place if this situation or item had a mental disability."
Don't hate on similies. I think it's similies anyway.
Tommy2255 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:08:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Metaphor. Similies are indirect comparisons using like or as. "It's as if this table were a retard" is a simile, "this table is retarded" is a metaphor.
barristonsmellme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh cool, thanks for that! I hope this isn't how I forever remember the difference between the two.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:18:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But we don't use "stupid" and "idiot" to describe actual people in medical contexts any more. So they are great words to use instead of "retarded". Or just call your friend a dumb fuck or something.
narp7 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:49:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There are plenty of words that we use that aren't used in medical context. That's the entire idea of a vernacular that you're ignoring. When someone breaks a bone, I don't say, "My friend fractured his tibia." I say, "My friend broke his leg." All I'm saying is that a lack of usage in medical context isn't a good argument against something.
Edited to remove accidental insult: annoying --->ignoring
the_omega99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think we use "retarded" in medical contexts that much anymore, either. The preferred term these days seems to be "intellectual disability".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm yeah people aren't called "retarded" but the term "mental retardation is used".
In any case, when people want to be a dick to disabled people, they're sometimes still called "fucking retards" or something like that, so the association is still there.
maanu123 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:48:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look, if you're saying I should say "dumb fuck' instead of "retarded", then you're a dumb fuck. And retarded.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could chose to say "Retard" which is hurtful to a lot of people, or just "dumb fuck" which is just hurtful to that particular dumb fuck. It's clear what the decent thing is to do.
sectorsight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:53:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "dumb" does stem from a history of a medical condition.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but it's not used that way anymore, and doesn't hold any of that baggage. Anyway it's not really a huge deal.
sectorsight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
in the same way, someone referring to their friend as gay or retarded is not actually thinking about actual homosexuality or a legitimate mental condition.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I understand you right, yeah it's dismissive and belittling to use the words "gay" or "retarded" as insults. There are so many other good ways to insult a particular person that doesn't insult a whole kind of person as a consequence.
sectorsight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, maybe I wasn't clear. My wife and I call each other "gay" if one of us tells the other that they love them. We are both heterosexuals. The thought of homosexuality never crosses our mind when we say it, there is no malice or ill will when we say it. Honestly, it doesn't even make sense because showing affection is not a "gay" trait. Do I insult a whole group of people when the word is said? No. They never even cross my mind. I think we just live in a world that everyone wants to be the victim, and we need to play the part of the good citizen with Orwellian NewSpeak. If you're offended because I say something that I believe is benign, then where does that leave us?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing I don't understand is how you can believe that calling someone gay as an insult or joke is benign. It's only funny if there is an implication that there is something wrong with gay people.
sectorsight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's contextual. The word doesn't mean anything in the manner I speak it. I could use the word "queer". I'm sure you would take offense to that as well despite it predating attribution to gay people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feel free to stop talking about my being offended. I never claimed that.
sectorsight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was for the sake of argument.
maanu123 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.
TRIGGERS HERE WATCH OUT THIS ABLEIST SHITLORD IS HURTING FEELINGS AGAIN
maanu123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know ANYONE in real life who is hurt by me saying retard. Only on reddit do I meet those special kinds of people who get offended by that. There is SOME complex involved in getting hurt by the word "retard". I mean, I know not everybody is like me, but I am diagnosed with high functioning autism, and I don't give the slightest shit when someone uses "autistic" as an insult. In fact, it's kind of funnier to me. I use it myself a lot. Does this make me a shitty person? Kinda, yeah. Do I regret it? A little.
But you know what?
Life was meant to be enjoyed. And I enjoy being slightly insensitive. I'm generally nice to people I know, so I think it makes up for this.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:40:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's a complex, for me personally, I enjoy life by trying not to be a dick to people. The truth is that the word retard is very hurtful to the people I know. If that's not the case for you, then using the word might not be a problem at all.
Perhaps one different in real life is that when people know you and your intentions, saying an insensitive thing as a joke is pretty funny. On the internet people might just think you're a real dick.
Anyway interesting stuff to think about.
maanu123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's true.
FuzzyLoveRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But now you're talking about how you treat people you know personally, not what the bar is for socially acceptable.
If you're close with someone and care about them, then it's expected that you'll take heed of their particular sensitivities or traumas, i.e. if I'm hanging out with my friend whose mother has recently passed, I'm not making your mom jokes. However, that does not mean that it's socially unacceptable to tell your mom jokes because someone in the crowd may have recently lost their mother, or maybe even lost her years and years ago but never moved on.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 17:30:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental retardation is a disorder that people have. I think it's fine to refer to it in that context. The reason why it's socially unacceptable is because people keep using it like an insult or in other negative contexts so it ends up having a negative connotation. People who are mentally retarded automatically are seen as a bad thing. It's like people who use "gay" as an insult. It becomes seen as something negative.
userRL452 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:15:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I used to call people "retarded" and "gay" when I was a teenager. Then I had a conversation with a guy I knew I high school after he came out of the closet about how he felt when people used "gay" like that. He knew that they weren't talking about him or actually being gay but it still hurt hearing people say it in such a negative way. After that I pretty much stopped using phrases like that.
Also it is so much more fun to make up ways to call people ass holes.
qman1963 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:28 on August 12, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. If I call someone a fuckface or an asshat, I think that's fine. Because that's not something people identify as. No one has an actual identity trait of asshat. But there are many people who identify as gay and retarded. And they can't control those things. And a lot of them are proud of those things. I really don't think it's cool to say them. Sorry if people disagree but that's just what I think.
Like how would people react if I just said "Dude you're being so fucking Asian right now lmao"
Like no. We don't do that. Because that implies being Asian is funny or bad. And it's not. It's just how people are. Just like how people are gay or retarded.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:17:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But see, I know gay people that use the word gay in that way. It all depends on the person.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:44:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is like people who say "I'm not racist, I know a black friend who..." Your anecdotal evidence of the gay people you know doesn't work as a substitute for the opinions of gay people as a whole.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:57:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My point was that both sides of that argument is all anecdotal evidence. I don't use the word gay unless I'm talking about an actual gay person. I was just saying that a friend being offended is just as anecdotal as my friends not being offended.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:34:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think part of the reason for the backlash against it is that recently, the APA has started to drop that from the vocabulary.
Back in the day, "Mentally retarded" was a catch-all term for "developmental issues we don't understand." People with Autism/Asperger's, Dyslexia, Down's Syndrome, and other disorders were all lumped together as "retarded." This of course wasn't very helpful because each has different causes, symptoms, etc. so it's not really a category at all.
My youngest brother has Aspergers but when he was diagnosed he was high-functioning Autism. Had he been diagnosed five years earlier he'd have been labeled Retarded.
[deleted] ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 17:49:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental retardation is something negative. Stop acting like it isn't.
pomegra ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 21:29:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're misunderstanding. It's not a positive thing to have a learning disability in the same way that it's not a positive thing to be blind.
The difference is that when you call someone "retarded" as an insult, you're not merely making an objective observation, you're making being "retarded" a negative quality that reflects on a person's character.
It's kind of like how calling someone fat is much more than an observation on someone's physical appearance. It's a negative commentary on their character and who they are as a person. People don't hate fatness. They hate fat PEOPLE. They hate them as human beings.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:31:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And yet, people don't get all huffy when you ask a friend "Are you blind?" after they bump into an obvious door.
ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
WinterOfFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are we allowed to ask if someone is blind when they almost hit our car?
If it turns out that person actually IS blind, awkwardness ensues but in most contexts it isn't deemed inappropriate to use that phrase.
If someone does something completely illogical like putting your eggs in your shopping bag and putting a gallon of bleach on top, asking if they are retarded is referring to the behavior and if the person turns out to be mentally impaired then the same awkwardness ensues as in the blind situation.
I respect that the group feels it is unacceptable to use it casually so I don't but I also don't see how it is different than calling someone blind which I have not heard was considered offensive.
chaosmosis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with a heap of mental disabilities, I think that you can't separate ability from character entirely. There's nothing left over once you exclude all a person's qualities from being part of how their personality gets judged.
Retardedness is a negative quality. Sometimes that negative is overwhelmed by other positive aspects of a person. But all else being equal, it generally makes people worse.
I think people hate fatness independently of hating fat people. I am somewhat overweight, and I hate my own fatness, even though I don't hate myself.
notafiddle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:27:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't separate physical qualities from someone's personality, but you can hate fatness without hating fat people?
chaosmosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because there are more qualities that fat people have than just their fatness.
notafiddle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:52:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why would you be able exclude that one quality and not all the others at the same time?
chaosmosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand what you're asking, sorry?
amedeus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
When my friends can't find something that I'm pointing at, I call them blind. If blind people take that as a negative remark about their character, then I guess fuck the blind.
Especially Venetian ones, those things don't block shit.
sequestration ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Blind' is not being used as an insult or in a derogatory so it's not really analogous.
amedeus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:57:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is being used as an insult. I am saying that they are as bad at seeing things as a blind person.
orangefly ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that's not it at all and you know it. it is clearly used as saying someone is acting in a way that a mentally handicapped person would have an excuse for.
we need a term for these things. like high horse step ladders. things people don't really take offense to but love to find because it makes them feel morally superior. like the whole confederate flag thing.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:25:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People with mental retardation are human beings. People like you tend to forget this.
When you make something that is such an intrinsic part of who they are as a person negative, they're going to be treated like shit, even more so than they already are.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:37:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How so? Being blind is worse than being able to see. Being paralyzed is worse than being able to walk. Being deaf is worse than being able to hear. Everyone can recognize this and still treat people with disabilities with respect. In fact most people treat people with disabilities with more respect because they recognize they have struggles that others don't have to go through.
Being retarded is a negative thing, just like other disabilities. Do you not think your life would be worse if you were retarded? If it was possible, wouldn't you want to cure retardation?
The only time I see people be rude to retarded people is when they expect them to be able to perform tasks as well as everyone else can.
GlitterLamp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:14:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue stems from how these people are being referred to, which /u/lalliesaurus pointed out (also you have complimentary usernames how neat)
People with disabilities is much more respectful than retarded person, you're putting the fact that they're a person before their disability. When you say retarded person, regardless of the degree of mental or physical retardation, you're defining them and referring to them simply by their disability. Sure, you don't mean any harm, but the context behind the word and it's typically negative connotations can't be removed from the situation, and when a person with any mild sort of disability is repeatedly labeled as a retard, a cripple, or a deaf, the statement can become incredibly derogatory.
It's also good to note that 'being worse off' doesn't exactly translate in those people's minds all the time, either. Somebody born with Down's, autism, blindness, Asperger's - they don't know normal and don't know being 'better off', their existence is simply all they know. This can also factor into how referring to them simply by their disability can be derogatory.
DasWeasel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:03:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do you think it's offensive to say "Bill is blind" instead of "Bill is a person who is blind"?
GlitterLamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily offensive, but a more person-first way of referring to Bill would concentrate on Bill the person rather than dehumanizing or generalizing him, such as simply "the blind". If you really wanted to be sensitive you might say "Bill is visually impaired", but there are plenty of linguists that critique the awkwardness and people actually part of the group being referred to might prefer something else entirely.
I'm not an expert on the topic at all, I've just had to do a butt-load of sensitivity training so these sorts of things are at the back of my mind. I'm not going to bend over backwards to suit every single person, but I try to cut out the most 'widely offensive' words for courtesy's sake. Personally I feel like blindness has a less negative connotation or stigma than some of the other terms mentioned in the thread, so it's a bit stickier in terms of getting it right but also less mentioned because it's been more common and/or visible in society for longer. And I mean if you're ever in any doubt, there's no harm in asking politely.
the_omega99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, I'm pretty sure that most disabled people are well aware that their disability is a negative. I'm not intellectually disabled, so can't speak for them (nor can I speak for all disabled people, of course), but having a severe hearing loss, I'm well aware that my hearing is not normal and that it's a negative trait.
I also know that my disability is going to irk some people and while it's annoying, I can't blame them, as I know better than anyone how it keeps me from being as good as if I had normal hearing (and I'm absolutely not bothered by the idea of my hearing not being normal). I recognize that my disability makes me somewhat less of a model human, biologically. I won't have biological children, for example, because my condition may be genetic and there's no way in hell that I'd risk giving someone else a shitty disability.
TL;DR: The disabled know they're disabled and not normal.
pomegra ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deaf people don't hear, blind people don't see, but people with mental retardation do think, and are capable of making rational thoughts.
Used the way that people often use it, it wrongly implies that people with mental retardation are incapable of being rational, or are somehow inferior as a whole, among other things.
Also, people who are blind and deaf embrace those terms. The mentally retarded and the family members of the mentally retarded don't like the word because of its negative connotations.
SomeBroadYouDontKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all blind people are literally incapable of seeing, so I think his/her argument still stands.
There are different types of blindness. Some people don't have pupils. Other's have pupils and their pupils receive light and react, but their brains can't translate (or can't receive) the signals or translate them incorrectly (this is where you get people who are told to reach for a bar they can't see, but somehow know to hold their hand vertically or horizontally to grab the bar every time).
I am legally blind (defined in the US as vision at or worse than 20/200), however I can still see. If I take my glasses off, I could tell you what color something is or duck if you threw a ball at me.
There's color blindness, nyctalopia (AKA night blindness), total blindness (which is the complete inability to see), macular degeneration, legal blindness... all kinds of blindness.
There's a whole spectrum when it comes to visual disability, just as there is when it comes to mental disability, so I think the point /u/Shrubosaur made still stands.
narp7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:59:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do realize that deaf and blind people can think as well, right? Every one of those groups is aware of their condition. It's not unique to people who have mental retardation.
Also, "are you deaf/blind" are both commonly used expressions for when people don't see/hear/pick up on something.
Also, retarded isn't carrying any more negative connotations than deaf or blind. It is an objectively negative trait that carries many negative implications, none of which are connotations. They are merely facts.
Because of causality, any disability, regardless of if it is blindness, deafness, or retardation will have negative effects on that person's life. People don't pretend it doesn't exist for blind people. Deaf people aren't ignored either. Why should it be different for people with mental retardation?
The reason this is a touchy issue is because society likes to pretend that differences in intelligence aren't a thing. Our society really doesn't like to address intelligence. It is one of the most taboo things in our society, so much so that many people don't even realize it's a taboo.
The reason for this is that if people acknowledged varying intelligence, people would have to give up the "you can be anything you want" mindset, which is already obviously not the case. Not everyone can be president, and intelligence is a huge piece of that. That's why the word retarded is taboo. blindness/deafness are physical/immediately visible traits, but intelligence is not and it is the trait that a person's entire life rests upon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're misunderstanding.
The implication is that people who have mental retardation are perceived to be incapable of thinking in the same way that it's objective fact that deaf people or blind people cannot hear or see.
narp7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they can't really think in the same way that others can, just as someone who is legally blind or deaf can't see or hear in the same way as others. It's exactly the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:02:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are people who are mentally retarded literally incapable of thinking? No, they aren't. That's the implication. And it's a wrong one.
narp7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:53:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're making a straw man argument here. No one is saying that they are literally incapable of thinking. No one is implying it either.
DasWeasel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, the implication is that they can't think as well as most people, which is basically a fact. Going along with the previous example, if your friend can't find something right in front of him, you might call him blind. If your friend makes a mistake or descion that makes it seem like he didn't think well about it, someone might call him retarded.
You're comparing the wrong things with these examples. Both the term blind and the term retarded (outside there literal usage) are used as a comparison to there literal meanings in the sense that they both negatively affect an attribute of somebody, not that they both make someone incapable of using that attribute.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the distinction is that being called blind, deaf, or paralyzed in those contexts isn't an insult; it's a neutral statement of fact. This is not so for the aforementioned usages of "retarded."
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:11:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be deaf if you've never heard someone call a referee blind ;)
pomegra ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Those two examples are definitely not the same thing and you must know that.
When you're calling the referee blind, you're not necessarily misattributing characteristics to blind people that aren't true. It's a completely different context.
When you say something that you find ridiculous "gay", there's an implicit association there. You're implying that you think that gay people are ridiculous. When you tell your friend who is doing something silly or irrational "retarded", you're associating "retarded" with silly and irrational, when people with learning disabilities may not even reflect those behaviors. It's not ironic. It's derogatory towards people with those mental handicaps.
emeraldkilometer ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:55:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are exactly identical. The context here is "Calling someone who does clearly not actually have a mental disability retarded."
Seemingly average person does not hear something an average person would be expected to hear: Are you deaf?
Seemingly average person does not see something an average person would be expected to see: Are you blind?
Seemingly average person does not understand something an average person would be expected to understand: Are you retarded?
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:47:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now you're just making assumptions about what it's like to be mentally retarded.
I won't pretend to be a spokesperson for the plights of those with learning disabilities, but assuming that they are intrinsically irrational or silly, as the context of many of the usages of "retarded" suggest, among other things, is going too far.
emeraldkilometer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:03:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you retarded? Failing to achieve an expected average level of rationality is precisely the kind of thing that is associated with someone who has an intellectual disability.
Needless to say, I am going to gleefully continue using the word "retarded" as a term of disparagement, and I feel confident that nobody who is horrified by that is actually in a position to cause me any adverse consequences for it.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:06:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, there's the thing. It's an association, a stereotype, but it's not necessarily the truth. The truth is important.
And I think your comment illustrates why it's not problematic to you. You don't care about the consequences of your actions. You don't care about whether or not using "retarded" in your vernacular is actually harmful or not.
I think that this entire argument is rather pointless with that in mind. You're not likely to change your mind because you don't give a damn as long as it doesn't affect you.
emeraldkilometer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:11:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem, somehow, to believe that a lowered capacity for intelligence does not entail a lowered capacity for intelligence. That is far too bizarre of a delusion to even try to argue with.
I do care about the consequences of my actions. I just donโt care about the bizarre delusions of retards who run around saying that they somehow endanger people with disabilities.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:13:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Retarded" is very commonly used on contexts that imply many things other than just a "lowered capacity for intelligence", which is what I have argued is the problematic part of it in the first place.
emeraldkilometer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:19:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happily, I have never seen it used in those contexts. So, in my experience it continues to be unproblematic.
sequestration ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To you, maybe. But not to everyone. Many of us realize they are human beings with value. Stop acting like it is.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:33:46 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never said that they aren't. If you had proper reading comprehension you'd understand that. I said that mental retardation is negative, people with it aren't. Just as insanity, obesity and being a dick are all negative traits. Having them is negative, but it doesn't make you worthless.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:09:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pomegra ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:48:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Say whatever you want to whoever you want, but don't try to pretend that words don't have consequences, and don't get upset when people think you're an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:27:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being retarded is gay
yetti35 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Using the words within their informal offensive definition puts a negative stigma on a group, and that's not cool. With how many words we have out there, why not use your brain and use a word that fits more properly and won't negatively stigmatize a group?
Instead of using "retarded" or "gay" in that negative light, use: Moronic, stupid, idiotic, ludicrous, etc. There are so many other words that people can use - words that won't negatively stigmatize a group of individuals. I had a friend that always used "Gay" in that negative light, and he just couldn't understand how it could be offensive. Context does matter for words, and people need to learn to stop using words within the wrong context. Understand the context, use your brain, and select a more intelligent word instead of using words that can put certain groups down.
Francis_the_Goat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The term "mental retardation" is no longer used in the field. Instead it is called an "intellectual disability" or "ID."
simplicitea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mental regardation is an antiquated term. It's no longer used to describe people who have a learning disability. So using the argument that its a medical condition isn't really valid.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is still colloquially tied to people who have learning disabilities though. You could make a similar argument about "stupid" and "idiot", but those have been fully divorced from their original meanings in a way that "retarded" has not been.
simplicitea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but isn't that essentially the problem with using that term? Since it's still closely tied to individuals who suffer from learning disabilities but also used as an insult towards people doing something foolish. The words stupid and idiot don't have that problem since as you pointed is been long divorced from being tied to those individuals.
pomegra ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you arguing, exactly? That using the word "retard" has no consequences, or something else entirely?
Since it's so closely tied to people with learning disabilities, using it the way that people use it now, as synonymous with "irrational", "bad", or "mistake" or something equally negative, that just ladens people with learning disabilities with a negative stereotype that is entirely harmful towards them.
simplicitea ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:55:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm arguing what you just essentially pointed out. We shouldn't be using that term because of how closely tied it is towards people who suffer from learning disabilities. And my second point was for those who say that it's equally bad to use the words stupid or idiot are off the mark because those words have long been divorced from referring to those individuals.
Tommy2255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It can't not have a negative connotation. Every word historically used to describe mental deficiency has become an insult, and anything you come up with to describe that condition will turn into an insult too. When the thing the word is describing is the insult, and is an objectively negative condition, then the word cannot fail to be an insult as well.
As an example, we have an offensive and a non-offensive word for black people, that being the n-word and black people respectively. But the reason the latter doesn't carry the same stereotypes implied by the n-word is that those qualities are part of the word, not the thing it names. If those stereotypes were true, or still thought to be true by a majority of the population, then it would stick as a connotation attached to any word used to describe the same thing. The connotations of the n-word are not actually tied to the word's denotative meaning. The negative connotation of retard is mental deficiency. That is a connotation intrinsically tied to the denotative meaning of the word. You cannot have a word that names the clinical condition of mental impairment and not have a negative connotation to that.
nobodytoldme ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:05:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"If you're mentally retarded and you're offended by the word "retarded" then you're not mentally retarded."
Jerry Seinfeld
PraiseTheMetal591 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah mentally disabled people can't have feelings, it's true.
Did you actually think about what that quote implies? Seriously. That's fucking disgusting.
StephenHawkingsHair ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:55:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty he's saying truly retarded people can't conceptualize what it means to be mentally handicapped. But no, by all means, let's just assume the worst of every situation so we can get offended and let the smug self-righteousness wash over us.
dinosaur_chunks ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:53:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty much exactly how I feel about the word retard.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was really funny.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-Michael Scott
scornucopia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the โeuphemism treadmillโ in action.
A word is invented to replace a taboo offensive word, and that word, in turn, becomes an insult and then a taboo offensive word that must be replaced. 100 years ago, โmoronโ, โidiotโ, and โcretinโ were perfectly acceptable terms for different levels of below-normal mental ability. Now โretardedโ is going through the โunacceptableโ phase. In 20 years everyone will be telling you that โmental disabilityโ is a bad thing to say.
Crown4King ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Retarded has it's own meaning angway, it doesn't mean "mentally retarded" all the time..
HailCeasar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use retard as a verb frequently, meaning to delay. People sometimes give me weird looks but w/e, look it up in the dictionary if you're so mad.
blackhairdontcare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Scott.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed
TheUglyBarnac1e ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Scott, the Office
Whskydg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ralphie may
snorlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also that is like the correct medical term for it. changing it to "mentally disabled" instead of "mentally retarded" doesnt change the fact its the same thing and most likely disabled will become the new retard in a few years.
syzygy12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem comes from the fact that Mentally Retarded (or MR) used to be the professionally accepted term and was used in the same way that Learning Disabled (LD). It then became colloquialized to insult people by comparing them to people who were classified as MR. Retarded was never intended as an insult to people who were classified as MR. It has become that, because when you insult people by using the classification of another group, you're actually insulting that group. It's exactly the same argument as when you hear people say, "When I said that was gay I wasn't talking about actual gay people." Retarded fell out of favor as a professional term because it became colloquialized as an insult.
Familiastone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're being a moron."
True, and not offensive. This one is on me.
Super_Saiyan_Swagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like this. In South Dakota, we have the term Cognitive Disability. The term "retarded" or "mentally Retarded" is not used to refer to anyone officially or politically. So being offended because the term "retarded" refers to someone with a disability is actually more insulting because the person getting offended is the one connecting the term to the disability, if that makes sense. One of two things I really like about South Dakota's official terms. That and Native American Day vs Columbus Day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Retard" is going to be my generation's "nigger." 50 years from now I'll be sitting in a wheelchair holding a catheter bag and I'll call someone retarded and my grandkids will be like "GRANDPA!!! You CAN'T SAY THAT!!!" while my kids all turn beet red with embarrassment.
When I was in school in the 90's, we were using that word against actual disabled kids. We were mean pieces of shit.
Thatseemsright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone's done gone 'n gotten so sensitive about everything.
slaguar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a Mother use that adjective in front of the 8 or so kids she brought to dinner at the restaurant I worked at for her son's birthday party. The problem is that word was once used to imply a mental/learning disability and NOT to connote stupidity. When your friends are acting like "retards" are they mentally/physically handicapped in a way that forces them to act that way or are they just being dumb asses? Because I'll tell you that people who are mentally handicapped do take offense to that word. Some realize they're different and don't understand why. If you continue to use that word (especially in front of children), how are those 8 ten year olds gonna describe the kids that ride the shorter bus? That they're handicapped and born with struggles that you nor I could even fathom or that they're retards... You have every right to continue to call your friends retards, just know that you have a multitude of other adjectives to use that won't make you look insanely ignorant and insensitive to those who do take offense to that word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would never use it or even curse around kids or anyone who I know would be uncomfortable.
wee_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of being a kid and using the phrase "Sped".
Bloq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think retarded is a lot better than retard. Retarded to me just means dumb. Retard is personal :p
AuraMasterNeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In that same vein, "Flame-retardant clothing." No, you don't need to giggle, it's an important distinction to make, as it SLOWS the flame, it's not IMMUNE to it.
I have autism, and I'm fine if you call something retarded. Makes me cringe a little, but it's fine. However, if you start using "Autistic" as an insult...
Drois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Retarded means slow so I don't know why it's so frowned on
kuroikawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend work in the summer on a summer camp for kids that are retarded. They have 3 camps each summer. A camp last a week and every last night they have a disco. My friend then play "let's get retarded" with black eye peas.
We are not a English speaking country so the kids don't understand. Still quite funny.
LicenceToBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate how this gets lumped in with other offensive phrases, like calling someone or something "gay" as an insult. Doing that enforces the idea that there is something inherently negative about being gay, and that's why it's offensive. It's easy to see why that pisses off gay people.
I don't think anybody disputes that there is something inherently negative about being mentally retarded. If I was gay and no social stigma against it existed my life would be no worse than it is now. The same is not true of being retarded.
whydoidothus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too lazy to link, look up Christopher Titus' take on "the word retarded". Hilarious and perfectly explained.
_MMCXII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/eOBoKxEcVAA
If you haven't seen Rick and Morty, then welcome to your new favorite show.
ghostphantom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I can't count the number of times my friends have acted less mentally advanced than someone their age should be acting. The word "retarded" actually means that and if I dance around it by saying "You are acting less mentally advanced than someone your age" then they're going to laugh themselves to death making fun of me for sounding like a robot.
Ahmrael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to just tell my friends they're being idiots when they behave like that. Seems more fitting to me.
chaosmosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's tough, because there's a need for words which have force to them, but most of the places that words can get their force from are ones which carry bad negative implications. Once all the negative implications of a word die, they lose their force. So two competing interests are involved.
The taboo against "retarded" has grown strong enough that I personally don't think the word's worth using anymore. Most of the time I see it used it's not in a particularly tasteful or effective way.
thatsaqualifier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, let's go ahead and keep this one filed under socially unacceptable.
evilgiraffemonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always think that if we're not allowed to say retarded shouldn't some other words be unacceptable? Like if someone cuts another off, nobody bats an eye if they yell "what are you, blind?" And if someone doesn't hear you, it's fine to say "are you deaf or something?" But if someone does something that make it seem like they don't have full mental capacity and you say "retarded" people freak out. I mean, I don't really say it and I understand why it upsets people but this strikes me as inconsistent.
Caerum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this. I call my boyfriend retarded all the time and he does the same to me.
I don't go out calling random people on the street retarded... or actual mentally challenged people for that matter.
I just really like calling my bf a retard when he's being weird.
LinuxMakavry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, I disagree with this completely. People who are restarted should be able to be called as such. We can ask if someone's autistic without it being (as) frowned upon. It's a categorization. A valid description of someone. Handicapped isn't an insult. Retarded shouldn't be either.
It's the same as using gay as an insult. Not only are you attacking the person you're insulting, you're cheapening the word, and everyone who actually identifies as gay.
(Mind you, the term is actually outdated IIRC. Point still stands. You're insulting everyone that actually is retarded by using it as an insult.)
2etydi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like Rick and Morty's take on it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC retard(ed) was the proper medical term, their learned was slowed down/retarded.
marcm6246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gay and I never cared when people would say "that's so gay!".
probablyhrenrai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd argue for the exact opposite. Retarded literally means "slowed down." My cousin Becky is mentally retarded. That's a fact; she has Down's Syndrome, and she's fantastic and enjoyable to be around, but she's slow to learn things, and so she is literally mentally retarded, or just "retarded" for short.
TL;DR: "Retarded" not an insult, and shouldn't be used as one. It's like the word "handicapped" in that it's an actual descriptor of someone's health status.
CaptainToodleButt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:17:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having casual sex. Like I don't give a fuck is Andrew or Samantha has sex with fifty people a week, they do whatever the fuck they want and whenever the fuck.
BRB_GOTTA_POOP ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:12:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd download a car if I could.
ih8umum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I ran across a 635 TB torrent a while ago, simply titled 'A Car'. Haven't been able to find it since.
BRB_GOTTA_POOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What would make that even more ridiculous would be rar'ing them.
"PLZ SEED. I'M AT 98.6%"
ih8umum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or one of those super-compressed packages like .arc or w/e
i know .arc filess can get massively compressed, to the point of having a 2gb torrent a couple hundred MB. sounds ridiculous but i've seen it happen.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:44:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying "Bless you" after someone sneezes. There is NO fucking point.
Threshticles ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:17:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Used to have a coworker who's self-proclaimed pet peeve was people who sneeze more than once in a row...she refused to say god bless you more than once...not that I care...just thought it was a weird peeve to have
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I....actually kind of get that. I don't know why, but it just annoys me. I know it's not anyone's fault, so I don't get mad, but for some reason it bugs me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always sneeze two or three times for some reason.
Cunt_Bag ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:35:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say it out of habit more than anything. I like gesundheit better though.
Gary_FucKing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup it's a habit, I say salud.
i_teach ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or not saying "thank you" after someone says "bless you." I don't have to thank you for anything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just one of those hanging-on traditions. I don't do it and nobody calls me out on it. Unless you're in the deep south I don't think you'd be called out on it. It originated in the 1600s when sneezing was thought to be a sign of the plague, and it sort of stuck.
Pravus_Belua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It goes back a lot farther than that, actually.
The origin you quoted is part of the history of it, but blessing someone who sneezes has been dated back to AD 77. There are various origin stories for this, and there isn't one universally accepted one.
As for the plague origin story, you are correct in that it was used as a benediction, of sorts, against the plague. During the plague outbreak of AD 590, Pope Gregory I made blessing someone sneezing a part of his command regarding praying for the plague victims. They, as you said, believed the sneeze to be an early symptom of the disease.
OrnateFreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't say that shit at all. I live in the south (US), so it's pretty much expected, but I see no point in it. I'm also fairly against religion so saying "bless" anything feels weird and insincere.
jacktheBOSS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like "Your welcome." There's no "point" I guess. It's just about being polite. With that said, I usually say "salud" because I don't like the religious connotations of "bless you."
fiendswithbenefits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey now I think it's nice
rAlexanderAcosta ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 00:18:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a right-Libertarian, so pretty much everything that doesn't infringe upon other people's freedom and liberty is fine with me.
Feel free to be the world's biggest asshole, but don't be surprised when nobody likes you.
legit_khajiit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:44:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this SJW movement where I'm told to "watch my language" whenever I make a comment that might have some type of satirical humour in it. If I make a joke and you overhear it, and it offends you - get your nose out of my fucking conversation.
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice idea in theory, but in practice its just stupid. Fact is, someone will like the asshole, and its likely the asshole will cause substantial harm if nothing is done. Being an asshole is synonymous to infringing on other peoples lives to begin with.
rAlexanderAcosta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Assholes are free to associate with other assholes.
When their assholery infringes upon another's rights, which I'm sure it'll eventually do, feel free to do something about it.
564738291056 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:33:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with telling people no and hearing no. I'm sick and fucking tired of this evasive "maybe or open-ended response really means no" bullshit I get from job applications to dates. It just results in confusion and wasted energy. If you don't want to hire me, reject me, tell me why. If you don't want to date me, reject me, tell me why. I'll do the same for you. All it takes is a little thought in the way you express it and enough guts to take me looking unhappy for a second.
And on that theme, I'm ok with telling people, and hearing, you're bad at something, you look bad, etc. Honest feedback is the only road to improvement, and results in realistic levels of confidence and realistic plans. Doing this unprompted, with a little grace, also shows you really care about a person.
UniversalFarrago ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:00:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wholeheartedly agree. On that note, if you ask a sensitive question, especially one that pertains to you personally, be prepared for an answer you don't like.
Perfect example happened not too long ago. A girl I worked with and I were having a conversation about looks and how heavily how one is treated weighs on them. She then asks me if I think she's ugly. Straight up, "Universal, do you think I'm ugly?", not some ambiguous thing like "What do you think of how I look?", or even "Am I pretty?". She specified ugliness, explicitly. So I figured she was mature enough to hear my answer. This girl happened to be ugly. She was short, pudgy in all the wrong places, had a tiny little amount of wispy blonde hair, and had a face that looked a bit like that of a beaver's. Now, I'm not going to tell her that. One can be honest without being a complete ass. Especially when considering that this girl was clearly insecure about her appearance. So I tell her (this isn't verbatim, but a close paraphrase) "Yes, I think you are. But you can't help that, and as such, it has zero relevance as to your reflection of who you are as a person. That part of you isn't ugly at all".
I gave her an honest answer. I knew it wouldn't be very nice to hear, so I added on a truthful little bit about how being ugly doesn't mean that you're now useless as a human being to soften the blow a bit. It was honest and sincere. Not some bullshit quote like "Everyone is beautiful!" or "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!", or a flat out lie like "Of course you are! You're so pretty!". I don't believe in lying unless I have a damn good reason to.
Of course, she flipped her shit. Started calling me insensitive, a bitch, etc.
If you only want to hear one specific answer, don't ask subjective question. For fuck's sake.
564738291056 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that. Thankfully I don't associate with people who are like that, at least not frequently.
The thing that really bothers me lately is all the evasions I get from my friends. I mean, fuck, just tell me you're broke or you don't feel like driving or whatever.
I'm getting to old for this shit. And I'm not even old.
Arithered ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:36:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a park bench. You don't need my permission to sit there, too.
Go ahead and pick your nose, just don't shake my hand with that hand.
Men and women are allowed to find each other attractive. Checking someone out is not sexual harassment as long as you aren't leering or catcalling.
I will damn well discipline your dumbass kid if you aren't doing it. Yes, I have kids too.
I do not mind revealing who I voted for or asking who you voted for. I'm just curious. If you aren't up for a political debate, we won't have one.
I am Jewish. Having said that, I never have and never will mind having my beliefs questioned--I actually enjoy the discussion. In return, I'd like to question you about yours, too. There's no reason this conversation cannot happen respectfully, even if we disagree drastically.
If I don't want to drink with you, I will not. I don't care whose birthday it is, or who got a promotion. I am happy for you, but that happiness doesn't need to be expressed through imbibing if I don't want to do so.
If you are talking my ear off about a subject that I have sent several disinterest signals to you about, I will outright say "I don't want to discuss this right now." You are welcome to do the same if I am ever boring you to death. If you are socially inept, you might learn something from my bluntness. If you are not, then you should have known to shut up. Either way, bluntness is good.
If I ask you what is wrong and you say "nothing," I will stop pressing you about it and act as if there is indeed nothing wrong. Yes, I am aware that "nothing" doesn't always mean "nothing" per se, but I am also aware that it is a distancing technique. What I take out of that is "I am not ready to talk." Therefore, we won't.
GenericJeans ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:43:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We should hang out.
smokeasaur23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
Imborednow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. I had a very very interesting conversation once with an orthodox woman - she explained her own point of view on traditions that most people nowadays see as "repressive". It was a great experience to see something outside my normal worldview.
On your last point though, it depends on the person and your relationship with them. Some people will stew until they explode without help - occasionally (most definitely not always) the best thing you can do for a friend is to prompt a little beyond "nothing". Of course, there are others who just need quiet time to get out a bad mood. YMMV.
Jthedude17 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:08:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word "cunt." Seriously, who cares? Don't be rude and insult people with it or anything like that, but some people get so insulted if you use the word cunt, yet other swear words like fuck are perfectly fine. What's the difference?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:09:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure this is only an american thing. I have australian friends that were surprised when people got so offended after they heard him say "cunt". He says cunt is as common as any other insult in australia and not nearly as offensive to australians as it is to americans.
Whothehelldoyouthink ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:14:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is your friend Jim Jeffries?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:45:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you American?
Jthedude17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian.
triggerman602 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia it may not be a big deal but in North America, cunt is right up there beside nigger on the offensive scale.
killing31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yah, I'm an American woman and I have no idea how we decided that this word is somehow more offensive than any other insult. I know a guy from Australia who calls both girls and guys this all the time and it's all in good fun.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, somebody shoot that cunt with a bazooka!
jacktheBOSS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Different societies have different values placed on different words. Curse words don't mean anything by themselves really; they just announce displeasure. That's why it's important to have levels for that displeasure in the connotation of curse words. Darn versus damn versus fuck or butthole versus ass versus cunt. Essentially the same denotation, different connotation.
vonStarkast ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:12:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saving my virginity
lostsemicolon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:07:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too!
Woo! Virgin Party! :D
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lostsemicolon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:33:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Raper no Raping
Raper no Raping
Raper no Raping
FullmentalFiction ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:34:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm upset no one had the courage to say "Aww, man!" in the 2 hours since you posted this. REDDIT YOU LET ME DOWN!
93ImagineBreaker ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 15:14:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitting females in self defense
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:32:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
isaaccarreras ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got such a justice boner from this
pretreg ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:04:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be surprised if people find this unacceptable if it's actually self defence. I think people get more stressed about hitting women in retaliation, i.e. she hit him so he hit her back, in a context where he's pretty sure she isn't going to hit him again but where he feels rightfully angry. I sympathise that it may feel justified, but that gets awkward fast as size/strength differences increase.
FullmentalFiction ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be surprised. It's unacceptable to most, particularly in a court if the female happens to take your act of self defense as an excuse to have you arrested for assault. Good luck arguing that with the judge, "She hit me first" doesn't typically fly there.
kdoodlethug ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:41:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even in this situation, a guy should be able to hit back. Maybe if women are shown that retaliation is likely, and that they aren't safe just because they are women, they will not be so quick to hit men (in the case of people who think this is okay; certainly most women are not abusive).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a video where people jump in and stop the guy. It's a "social experiment" that is actually a social experiment and not a stupid prank.
Edit: Dive into the YouTube comments at your own risk.
93ImagineBreaker ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is females hiding behind white knights and you can't hit females card thus allowing them to say and do things that most guys wouldn't dare even think about even if they were the same size and weight. How often do you see skinny small guys yelling at body builders rarely cause they know there going to get their ass beat. But females often get in guys faces cause they know he's not going to hit back. How often have you heard of females getting hit by males and stop acting crazy.
LemonStealingBoar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:54:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you constantly refer to women as 'females' but men as 'guys'? Sounds awkward as fuck.
93ImagineBreaker ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean both girls and women guys is generic for both boys and men and I'm on a phone and would take too long to keep on typing women and girls every time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
93ImagineBreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To weird for me sounds too surferish for me
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But females doesn't sound weird? You are unlike other people.
93ImagineBreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not if your referring to adult and underage of the gender
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are clearly the only person here who thinks that.
93ImagineBreaker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:30:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thats ok by me
93ImagineBreaker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blame society, entire childhood, years of told you can't hit girls all of them are weaker than you and girls told nothing in return or yet its okay or he deserves a etc tsundere from anime and manga.
TheMattAttack ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you don't live in the Bible belt.
god_damn_bitch ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:52:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
As a woman I completely agree. If I'm standing there punching you in the face, you have every right to haul off and punch me back. As a teenager I smacked my brother across the face with a VHS tape and he in turned punched me square in the mouth. I looked at him and said "I deserved that" and walked away, because I did deserve it. We still laugh about it now.
Godverdomme_Sam ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 19:48:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You bastard... you hit a woman."
"Sir, she was beating me with a bat."
"No, you misogynist shitlord!"
BeatSkeetAndRetreat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/pussypassdenied
Chr15py0696 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a woman punches me, not slaps, but punches me full out, she can expect a strong left hook in her jaw. I will not put up with being a punching bag and being expected to be okay with it. Judge me if you want, but once a girl punches me (and means it, obviously), she's going to receive a boxing-trained haymaker in the jaw.
93ImagineBreaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even in fiction ex. anime or manga it's annoying to see guys say I don't hit females even when they're attacking him, kicking his ass,could kill him, or trying to, even if their same level of strength yet have no issue with smashing through 1000s of mooks. Sanji vs kaflika or whatever that assassin name was from one piece was rage inducing. More so when he says I won't kick a lady even if it cost me my life but routinely beats up mooks by the dozens every arc when there far weaker.
Chr15py0696 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse to kick anyone unless it is a life threatening situation.
93ImagineBreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was using that as an example and why I hate you don't hit females bs it's annoying a guy has to take it due to risk of jail and white knights
baconfall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would give you gold if I could. This shit makes no sense at all.
RenmarkMLG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A very fitting... name.
POW_HAHA ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I agree, but only if the woman in question actually has the potential to hurt you.
EDIT: Wow, downvoted by people who beat women. This is so reddit.
isaaccarreras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So if another man was weaker than you started hitting you you wouldn't hit him back?
POW_HAHA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:55:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, if he was incapable of hurting me, why would i hit him back instead of just grabbing him or deflecting his blows? I'm not a coward.
isaaccarreras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you would just sit there and put up with it till god knows when instead of ending it in seconds?
POW_HAHA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know there are ways to calm people down without knocking them the fuck out, right?
isaaccarreras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't listen to reason they'll still try to fight you even if they're in the wrong
CeruleanTresses ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"females"
Women, dude. You're talking about people, not lab animals.
93ImagineBreaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't we say males with no issues and I'm talking about girls as well
CeruleanTresses ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Honestly, I see a lot of posts that refer to women as "females" and men as "men" in the same sentence, but I don't think "males" is any better regardless.
Anyway, if you want to include women of all ages you can say "women and girls," for example. Though I'm not sure why you need to include children in a post about hitting people in self-defense. In any case, "females" or "males" both sound stilted. It's what an alien would say.
93ImagineBreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
females is faster and by children i mean boy vs girl an teen girls vs guys as well not just adults either way dont be that guy
I_Think_Helen_Forgot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most times I see this opinion, it's from a guy who got playfully slapped by a woman and wants to react by punching her in the face. I hope you're not one of them.
93ImagineBreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No for me I see this post when males can't fight back against females simply cause of their gender with getting swarmed by white knights and jailed
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:53:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:16:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm 100% with you. If a city wants to make public urination illegal there better be public restrooms everywhere. It's legal to wet oneself in public but not legal to dispose of the effluent in a controlled and discrete way.
KnitterWithAttitude ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:36:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in a city with pretty much zero public restrooms, including at transit stops. Last week we had a huuuuuuge festival (over a million visitors) all week and I can't tell you how many girls i saw who were fined for peeing outdoors. Um. You can't give them nowhere to go and then also fine them for going... is it better that they stand humiliated in wet jeans?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Should stand in a corner looking like you're peeing, when a police officer comes over, reveal that you actually just peed in your pants. He can't touch you for it! Great prank
fractalfarmer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:03:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care as long as it's somewhere I'm unlikely to accidentally step in it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:15:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that like also illegal? Yeah i don't mind
Toadxx ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:23:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can be thrown onto the same list as kid diddlers for taking a piss. Permanently.
nutsaq ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:43:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never taken a permanent piss; where does it all come from?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:14:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to drink it as you're pissing. Bam. Perpetual motion.
Antitheanimator ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:33:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate atheists.
kdoodlethug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it is legal if you don't have access to facilities and it is an emergency. I remember reading through the Ohio law on this at one point but it's been a while.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:03:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares if they even see you.
antoninj ยท 650 points ยท Posted at 14:07:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy and polyamory. Basically, not binding yourself to one person.
DatGDoe ยท 384 points ยท Posted at 14:17:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do you boo.
That's the way I look at most issues.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:50:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much, yeah. It works for some people, it doesn't for others. I'm more than capable, and I've been in poly configurations and such. I don't PREFER it all the time, but it's still just swell when you have just the right combination of people, and everyone has the right mindset.
MidwestProduct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to have options in life. That feeling also applies to penises and the bodies attached to them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I was in a situation like this (see my post above). I was surprised at my utter lack of jealousy.
ProfessorPaulKrugman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:12:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BUT WHO WILL BUILD ROADS?!?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on several dates with a married, polyamorous woman. Her husband knew and was cool with it, but it was always just us.
It was one of the most positive, freeing experiences of my life. It was like, the fact that she was poly made me feel like I could really be honest with her about my life at that point. Like, it was a genuine, casual friendship that included sex. I think what I liked most was that even though she eventually found another boyfriend and still maintained her and her husband's relationship, I didn't feel jealous or angry at all. I was expecting it would bother me but I think what bothered me the most was worrying what other people in my life would think. The fact that she was sleeping with other guys, not a problem for me.
We ended things because it wasn't going to progress toward a relationship and I decided that I can't be poly (I can only focus on one person at a time in a relationship), but we are still on good terms and still talk every once in a while, even going on a platonic "friend date" afterwards.
khondrych ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Chandler?
dermotBlancmonge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I heard a woman say to a shopkeeper recently...
"whatever tickles your pickle"
riselikebread ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And so many other people
[deleted] ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 14:38:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
cactuscat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:09:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they're into that (some are).
antoninj ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:10:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
but that's the thing. Monogamous relationships are the same way: all parties come to an agreement that the relationship will only involve 2 people and no outsiders.
Same thing.
Redbulldildo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:19:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But... what if that's part of the agreement? A lot of people are into that.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:20:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Redbulldildo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The second half of the statement makes it seem like even if they're in agreement you would take issue with it.
Why-so-delirious ยท 197 points ยท Posted at 14:43:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand the concept. Personally, I wouldn't be able to cheat on someone, and wouldn't be able to handle them sleeping around with other men. I couldn't do it. I'd want to murder someone. I'd break up with her instantly.
But if other consenting adults want to do it, who gives a fuck? More power to them.
purplestgiraffe ยท 376 points ยท Posted at 14:52:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point of polyamory is that you agree beforehand to not be exclusive- it's not "cheating", you have a different agreement.
sam_hammich ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 16:10:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but that's his point. He wouldn't be able to make that agreement. He would feel like it's cheating. I am the same way. I wouldn't be able to deal with the thought of my SO being with someone else.
probablyhrenrai ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same; there's inherent tension and/or competition in those relationships, I think. Even if there isn't (I wouldn't know) I certainly wouldn't be able to be a part of one.
Pseudoboss11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
There's only minor tension. There's some doubt that a lover would come back from sleeping with someone else; but so far that hasn't happened, if anything, absence makes the heart grow fonder on both sides.
It makes sense that you don't. It was, and sometimes is uncomfortable knowing that my SO is sharing a high level of intimacy with someone else. I see the freedom as liberating on both sides more than it is stressful or restrictive, but it's a tradeoff that depends on your values; there's no absolute right or wrong.
EDIT: Completely changed this post, replied to the wrong person.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:48:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kazan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:36:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't make arguments like this. just.. no. Let mono people be mono, let poly people be poly.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 18:25:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
InterstellarPelican ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:44:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the guy you asked but:
Many animals take part in monogamous relationships. So it's pretty natural.
And the friends analogy isn't the same. Friends are just people you like. A SO is someone special that you love and usually the only person you have sex with.
Nothing wrong with monogamous or polygamous relationships. As long as both Consent to the same type of relationship, it's all okay. Neither one is better than the other. Neither one is wrong.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:48:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naw man, being uncomfortable with the thought of your SO banging someone else is an "insane level of jealousy." /s
Kazan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:37:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/aerojonno is one of those dumbfuck poly people who can't wrap their brain around the idea of "some people are mono, some are poly".
aka they're a moron. they're embarrassing me.
Kazan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a poly person I would like to apologize for the idiot above.
aerojonno ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 18:55:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I totally agree, I'm just not convinced it's natural for humans. Seems like all of our basic instincts go against it.
Kazan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
STFU you moron.
Sincerely,
A poly person
ReformedTomboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a retarded analogy. The amount of emotional vulnerability is significantly different in a sexual/romantic relationship versus a friendship. Not to mention non-monogamy comes with that added risk of increasing exposure to STIs and the like. There is nothing wrong with non-monogamy or monogamy but the "insane" jealousy MOST people would feel in an open arrangement simply can not be brushed off as societal conditioning.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:22:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Spanky4242 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:37:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's also what he said...
Georgia_Ball ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:21:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't cheating if the rules are changed
Tattered_Colours ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:43:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just taboo since it's been used to oppress women and imply that they're dime a dozen, but I agree that it should be okay as long as everyone is on board with the situation.
SMORKIN_LABBIT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It most likely doesn't work for most of us because of social conditioning to immediate jealousy. We all get jealous of people who are seeing someone we would ideally want as a partner. We are taught once we are in a relationship that we as a couple should be off limits. Its very difficult in my opinion for people to get over that and not associate it with loss.
nixiedust ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:33:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you're getting down voted. I'm all for polyamory but it's simply not true that it only happens in people without jealousy. For many, it's not that they don't get jealous, but that they value the open arrangement enough to learn to process it. For some this is easy, for other's a thing to work on, just like monogamy.
564738291056 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are downsides to polygamous arrangements that come from just the arrangement rather than out ideas about it. You really need to be in charge of your emotions, as much, if not more so, than people who are in long term monogamous relationships. It's very easy to neglect a long-time partner for a newer one because of the intoxication of novelty. (And most of us use "intoxication" as a deciding factor in whom to form and sustain relationships with.) You can also end up on a novelty treadmill, where you cycle rapidly through lots of different partners without connecting deeply with any of them - which is fine, if that's what you want, mind you; I know this works for a lot of people sexually, where they double-team a third partner.
There's also something about the structure of open relationships that attracts, BUT DOESN'T REQUIRE, people with fucked up self-esteem, the sort of people who need regular, strong validation.
GODZILLA_RIDER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely the most important part about a healthy non-exclusive relationship. Let the other person know beforehand!
Gary_FucKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought polyamory was more about multiple people being in a relationship than two people just being in an open relationship.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point of polyamory is that you ARE exclusive, just with a group of people. Open relationships is no exclusion.
HitlerWasADoozy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You knew what he meant, don't be pedantic.
ac161 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not cheating if everyone knows the terms of the relationship. People who say "monogamy isn't natural" as an excuse for cheating on someone after already agreeing to the monogamist relationship...that's another thing.
waawftutki ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:43:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well cheating is a completely different thing, you'd be angry because of the lie, the lack of communication, the fact that your partner held secrets, not so much about the sex itself I would assume.
Why-so-delirious ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:49:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, mainly just the screwing other guys thing. I got my wording wrong because I've been sick the last few days and I'm operating on two halves of brain cells at the moment.
I'm a very jealous and insecure person by nature and would not be able to handle a polygamous relationship. And I certainly wouldn't be able to have two partners. I would have emotion breakdowns every other day wondering if I loved partner A more than partner B and then feeling like shit because I kinda know that I love A more than B and feel that it's unfair that I don't treat A better than B, and B deserves better.
I'm just not built for polygamy in an emotional sense. In any fashion.
But if other people can get along like that, I don't see why they shouldn't.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:20:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While this may be true, I don't think that not being ok with polygamy makes you jealous and insecure.
Reddit acts like unless you're actively cheering on the dude banging your wife, then you must be deeply insecure and have all sorts of emotional problems.
Somenakedguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh? This is definitely not a widely adopted "reddit stance", for lack of a better term.
BigStereotype ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:11:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop attributing ideas to Reddit as a collective.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:42:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok. I'll just completely ignore the fact that reddit tends to have opinions for which one side is clearly in the majority.
Nekotography ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:29:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I see more guys getting made fun of for not being jealous enough or for being "cucks".
_arthur_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what? You're willing to accept that other people might have other preferences? Don't you know this is the Internet?! That's just not allowed!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree the lie doesn't bother me nearly as much as the sex to be honest the lie I could forgive the physical act of affection that we reserved for each other and that now you gave away to some other guy is the thing that makes it easy for me to just switch off all emotions for the cheater in question.
k9centipede ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has your partner ever done something in their own that they really enjoy? Developed a new skill, attended an activity, etc? When they got home did you feel jealous they had a good time without you or were you happy they had a good time even if you couldn't be involved.
That's the idea behind compersion.
As far as multiple partners, do you feel that stressed out about multiple platonic loves in your life too? Do you feel guilty that you like a parent more than another or that you're closer to one friend or sibling than another?
Liquidmentality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Logic getting downvoted on reddit.
Surprise surprise.
antoninj ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:46:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right! If you're comfortable with it, do it! But for most people, it's not "socially acceptable" in the least.
TaiVat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont think you understood as well as you think you did. "I wouldnt do it" is not the same as "socially acceptable". Socially acceptable implies judging other people for doing it, society judging you for it, something the above poster (and you for that matter) seem to imply to not do.
antoninj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, that's exactly what I'm saying.
The commenter said "But if other consenting adults want to do it, who gives a fuck? More power to them." which kind of implies that she/he finds it socially acceptable and is free of judgement of it.
407ta056 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you apply that same logic to adult, consensual incest?
Why-so-delirious ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:58:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they use protection and don't intend to have kids.
Consenting adults and all.
Once they have retarded children though, they are demonstrably hurting others
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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CoffeeAndKarma ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:45:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, as long as they don't have kids, I see no problem.
Asmor ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:16:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While it's still possible to cheat in an open relationship, sleeping with or having relationships with others is not cheating.
Cheating, whether in a monogamous or poly relationship, is when you violate your partner's trust. And that's something that every relationship needs to have worked out on its own.
If your relationship's open, you might have rules about using protection, letting your partner know, maybe your partner wants to meet your potential suitors first, etc.
But even in a supposedly monogamous relationship, there's still no one-size fits all answer. Is looking at other people ok? Flirting? Maybe you're even allowed to fool around with other people as long as you don't form an emotional attachment.
TL;DR: Cheating is when you violate the relationship's trust, and what that means is different for every relationship.
zeuther ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:46:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the whole concept of an open relationship more so than a polygamous relationship. polygamy in /my/ opinion is completely devoting yourself to multiple people. where as an open relationship is more so being able to have the freedom to do what is only human to us, but only as long as at the end of the day you know who you really love.
and then that feeds into the conversation of knowing what love sex is and what simple sex is.
edit: it's also about being very open and communicating with one another on what's okay and what's not with your SO
Liquidmentality ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:07:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy is being in a relationship with multiple women.
Polygyny is being in a relationship with multiple men.
These terms have negative connotations as the women (or men) are exclusive to their singular spouse.
The word you're looking for is polyamory.
zeuther ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
perfect, thank you!
AlgeriaWorblebot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
correction: polygamy is a form of polyamory which extends the relationship to marriage. It's an umbrella term that doesn't distinguish by gender.
Polygyny is polygamy with multiple wives.
Polyandry is polygamy with multiple husbands.
Liquidmentality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I got my terms all mixed up. You think I would have caught it at polyGYNy.
jeffhardydoesajump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I get this. People should be able to do whatever within a relationship as long as it's discussed and understood by everyone involved. That being said, I'm not personally interested in the idea but it would be irrational to stop anybody else doing it.
Aryada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My issue with your way of thinking is that you think it's all about sex. It isn't. I'm polyamorous but am often in monogamous relationships. I meet a mono guy and they are TOTALLY dtf other chicks, but no...that is not at all what poly is. If I trusted them to not go out and fuck every willing chick, it could work. But it wouldn't work to be "poly" with a mono person. Also, it isn't swinging. To me, it's about having the ability and freedom to start relationships with other people that could potentially turn sexual.
blamb211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My whole thing is if you're not hurting other people, do what you want. I don't get it, but do whatever.
Captian_Cocksmith ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 18:27:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only cheating if you get them pregnant.
-Captian_Cocksmith
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:38:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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nira007pwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still waiting for me to have the right to marry an attack helicopter.
Daniel_A_Johnson ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:01:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one I know has any problem with the practice, except in the same way they have a problem with veganism or rescue fostering. Just tired of hearing the people who do it talk about it at every opportunity.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:26:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But veganism isn't illegal or seen as inherently wrong by most of society. Also where do you live where polyamory comes up so frequently in conversation? Not accusing you of lying I'm genuinely curious.
Daniel_A_Johnson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in one of the most liberal areas of the country, and my social circle links to a variety of hippies and LARPers.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, I didn't know there was a big overlap with hippies and larpers xD, but I can see how such a liberal area might have more open discussion about polyamory then what I'm used to.
Daniel_A_Johnson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minnesota 5th, represent.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:08:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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sam_hammich ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:12:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think just about every single person I know is in an exclusive relationship, or married. And the only poly people I know talk about it at every opportunity no matter the company.
iheartgiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It may very well be that some of those exclusive/marriage relationships are less monogamous than you think. That is, you might know some poly people who you have no idea are poly because they never mention it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:17:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:04:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not every person that is single. Every INDIVIDUAL person was the intention I think.
Daniel_A_Johnson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly possible.
I've definitely never witnessed the subject come up organically.
xavierdc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think polyamory is talked as much as veganism though.
Daniel_A_Johnson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not overall, but from my admittedly unscientific observation, maybe more, per adherent.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's kind of a Reddit/internet thing, though. I've never really run into anyone talking about poly in normal life.
Daniel_A_Johnson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I definitely have.
As it turns out, I'm not very interested in talking about who someone wants to have sex with unless it's me.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:12:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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antoninj ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:26:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Urgh, yeah, so polygamy is difficult to wrap your head around because of the long history of abusing it and the societal pressures it can create.
I even read a very convincing /r/changemyview thread on it and in the end, I was like "Idk if people are ready for it".
But I feel like I am okay with it as long as it comes from a place where polyamory comes from: love and trust. It does feel almost like idealism.
ZenDragon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:56:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't total benefits just be divided by the number of people in a married group? Not perfect but seems fair enough.
Supertrinko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is the legal difficulty here? You get business unions between a group of companies, you get political unions between a group of countries or states. Why is a marital union between a group of people so difficult?
I'm sure corporate and political unions had their fair share of opportunities for abuse too, but they work through them anyway because the result is worth it.
Aryada ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:05:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I've said before, the U.S. military would go broke.
PokemasterTT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just get rid off marriage.
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
PokemasterTT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Relationships should be a private thing, not an official thing.
antoninj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually agree with you there. While I support people having equal opportunity to marry, I'm not a big fan of marriage at all. And I definitely hate how society pushes you into.
Marriage gets you tax breaks, allows you to split health insurance (or any insurance for that matter), visitation rights get established this way, buying a house as an unmarried couple is damn near impossible, you can't share burden of responsibility on various contracts, etc.
And then you get married, and you realize how much easier everything is regarding all this "adult" bullshit. Which makes you despise the fact that marriage is a legal contract that gives you tons of benefits even more.
Liquidmentality ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Legal benefits should stay limited to between two people (and perhaps alternates), but at the very least, bigamy should be made legal.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If 10 people want to abuse legal polygamy for the marriage benefits what exactly is stopping them from just splitting into 5 couples and doing it that way? This is a slippery slope argument and makes no sense.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:46:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:52:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can see how this could be a problem, yes. I live with a different system where most things like that are handled by the government not the employer. I think most polygamists would be more then willing to live with marriage benefits for just one person if it meant their relationship would be recognized by the state and they all got the same hospital visit rights and stuff like that.
Basically it's just a logistical problem that would take some fixing, not a good enough reason to outlaw an entire lifestyle.
antoninj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think polygamy would force people to rethink the entire marriage system (in a good way). Marriage grants you a plethora of benefits in the US that you wouldn't otherwise have. Polygamy expands those benefits beyond what the system is made for (the previous commenter was a good example) but there are others.
Maybe people will finally think about these benefits as "universal" that any individual gets, rather than specifically for married individuals.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Legalizing polygamy wouldn't legalize sexual abuse.
Ratelslangen2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot imagine looking at it that way, it defeats the purpose for me.
antoninj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right. And unfortunately, polyamory is socially unacceptable (at least in the way I imagine it); however, I feel like people should be ok with others doing this.
ingridelena ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:46:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope I'm not. It destroys the family which is the basis of society.
Haikuheathen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hear that a lot but wouldn't tribal societies be the foundation of society and not nuclear families which came along long after society got started.
SomeVelvetWarning ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:01:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If done right, wouldn't it lead to larger families that are just as strongly bound?
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds more like polygamy and not so much polyamory (although I dont care for polygamy either). Personally Ive seen first hand what a community looks like with a majority oow birth rate and no monogamy in sight and its not pretty in the least bit.
SomeVelvetWarning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds as though you're applying an outdated way of thinking to a modern approach to poly relationships.
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm applying modern examples.
RenkiDenki ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:04:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, what's the appeal? I thought about it but besides "you get more than one partner" I see no advantage.
It's more expensive, more time consuming, more stressful for jealous types, you're more likely to half ass things due to more partners and it seems like a huge mess when things go south.
Maybe I lack the right mindset or I'm old-fashioned but to me it seems the cons outweigh pros by a metric fuckton.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:32:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is like a straight person saying they don't get the appeal of being gay. ''There's more dicks and less vaginas in the house, who would want that?'' Obviously you can't understand it if that's not how you sway personally. Can't believe I had to explain that.
RenkiDenki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And exactly because I dont get the appeal I'm asking. I'm trying to understand someone else's point of view. No need to be a dick about it.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There can't really be any understanding. Assuming you're a straight guy, how could anyone explain to you why Ryan Gosling turns them on? Or someone with a foot fetish, how do they explain why feet give them boners while everyone else feels nothing? It's not something that can be explained, really.
RenkiDenki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course there can be understanding. I dont have to share someone's world view or expectations of a relationship to understand them
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How are you going to learn to understand how something that doesn't turn you on turns someone else on? It's a primal instinct, not really something that can be explained with words.
RenkiDenki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I already know that it's their thing. I'm asking why it's their thing because I believe it's intriguing and helps me understand their pov.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but there is no why, it's just the way they feel in their gut since forever, that's what I'm saying. ''Why do guys turn you on?'' how does that make sense?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:36:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just found themselves in love with more then one person at a time and with enough love to share between them all. They can't choose the number of people they love any more then a gay person can choose the gender of people they love.
ReformedTomboy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being gay is an sexual orientation, "poly" is a lifestyle choice. There is no scientific evidence to suggest otherwise.
Supertrinko ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:09:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I never supported gay rights because of science. I don't care about that. I don't care if being gay is a choice or not, that seems irrelevant to the following question:
Is it any of my business that this guy wants to be gay? No. I supported gay rights because that guy wants to be gay so yay for him.
I pose the same question to myself about polygamy, and I conclude, it's none of my business, I'm happy for them, I shouldn't have the right to challenge what sort of relationship they want to be in. And whether it's a choice or not has nothing to do with it.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:51:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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RenkiDenki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're gonna do something with them, right? Have lunch, get jewelry whatever, there's not a lot of stuff that is for free.
I don't. But the day only has 24 hours and besides work and a partner I also have hobbies, seems like time would run out.
Good point, I agree fully here.
Showing appreciation? Gifts? Appointments in general? Feels like focusing on multiple things instead of focusing on one thing would end up in half-assing things. In the end I think it's up to different expectations I guess.
True. Both things can be ugly, but there's more complicated issues if multiple parties are involved (e.g. three people are together, person A doesn't like person C anymore, but Person B likes both. Person C and A ruin shit for Person B)
I suppose so, there's different people and different expectations. I can see the appeal of multiple people just hitting it off really well but it never seems to be something long lasting.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:39:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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RenkiDenki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, you have a point I only considered expenses for a single person (I'm the asshole who gifts you shit but gets offended if you gift back). If those cost would be divided I figure it would even out to a point where it's not a significant deal breaker.
Good point about group activities, that would certainly make for more "efficient" time spent and it would be time spent with all so that makes sense.
Can you elaborate on the appreciation? I get it's not a fixed resource but I always fear I'm not showing enough appreciation so having to show multiple people something, which I consider to be occasionally rare from my side seems like a headache.
Mhm, I suppose it's a Risk/Reward thing where you trade potential drama for cool times. And well, you never know who attracts drama, god knows I can't tell it from people's behavior.
I suppose it's just not as common since people seem to not deviate out of standard norms too much. Sure, it's probably not something for everyone, but I'm the last to tell you "You can't because I don't get it".
A shame for those familial obligations, though. You have my sympathy.
J_Pinehurst ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:57:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It just sounds like Polygamy/amory isn't for you, which isn't a bad thing. But a point to make: after you know someone, it doesn't cost any more than other "friend" relationships if you just hang at their place or vice versa. If it's mostly a variety reason you are with them (some people have the appeal because of a desire for variety in sexual experience but still feel deeper love connections to another) and that's clearly communicated, it doesn't take the same obligations as a relationship. Also, if there is a feeling that you wouldn't be able to adequately show appreciation, appreciate them with your dick!
folderol ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:27:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you can't imagine how polygamy would be more expensive and time consuming. Just think about it for a second.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:21:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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folderol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:54:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because I don't usually skip ahead assuming you've got something below. Why would you be telling me about your polyamorous relationships when I specifically mentioned polygamy? You think all those polygamous women wearing bonnets in southern Utah have jobs? Those women are religious which is part of why they can put up with an arrangement like that. Outside of religion do you think you could ever find a group of 8 women who did it just because they all wanted to share the same man. Most likely it would be genetic and they would be looking to have his kids. Well, you see where that is heading. Some are working, maybe the man works and a few stay home to raise the kids. Yeah, I just don't see that ever working out especially when a divorce happens and the man loses half his income 2 or more times. Just seems like a set up for a legal cluster fuck to me.
antoninj ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's different for everyone but let me give you some examples where it works really well.
First, it's not about "having more partners", it's about having more varied relationships. You're welcome to be married and have a wife or husband or whomever.
I think about it in terms of friends (as an analogy). If you have a best friend, why should you have other friends? Because each friend provides you with something else. Ever had one of those friends that got super jealous when you hung out with someone else? That's what monogamous relationships look like to me but for MANY people, it's fine. For jealous people, it's perfect.
Let's say you have a best friend (a spouse) but your best friend hates hiking. You LOVE hiking but you love many other things that you do with your best friend. So you may have a hiker friend that you go hiking with every other weekend because that's what you enjoy. Your best friend probably won't be jealous that you're hiking with someone else because your best friend just hates hiking.
And lately, your best friend has been busy which sucks because you love playing CoD with them (on a PC, because PCs are better) and they work late and when they get home, they're just like "Man, I want to hit the hay". Being a good friend, you might make them dinner for when they get home, even draw a bath. However, you love playing CoD and after a couple of weeks you miss it. So you hit up a buddy that you met at the pub and ask him, "Hey man, ever play CoD?", he says yeah, and so you go play CoD at their house for a few hours while your best friend is out. (and no one cares that CoD sucks, I mean, it's YOUR decision!)
But it goes the other way. Ever had one of those stressful weeks where you don't want to do anything but sit on the couch all weekend just to feel better? But then your best friend is bugging you, asking you to go see the movies. So you just tell him, "Why don't you go have a guys night? I think I need a day just to myself". And so he does, and it's okay.
Anyways, I'm sure everyone has a different view on it. I bet half the stuff I just wrote goes against 90% of the /r/polyamory members but Idc. This is just how I see it.
RenkiDenki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:42:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suppose I should clarify it, when I say partners I mean relationship partners, not sex partners that seems to be a thing in my common tongue that just doesn't translate well in English I guess.
I understand your point but I suppose my counter would be that I don't spend time with my best friend to an amount that is equal to how much time I spend with partners. I get the appeal of having multiple friends for multiple hobbies (which is a thing I practice) but I think it's just different when it comes to partners.
When I'm unhappy with certain things or want to try X then I'll ask my partner if we could give it a try and chances are even if he/she hates it they'll likely give it a try if they value our partnership to a certain degree, I mean I might fucking despise hiking or playing CoD (I suck at shooters) but I know I'll give it a try if an important enough person will ask me to do it with them.
Now if I would do this with multiple people I'd know I'd be drained by the end of the day because I'd never get a second of rest. Relationships are a give and take in my experience and people will want different things in different stages of their life, so I'm sure both points of view make sense.
Imightalsohavehadanex
antoninj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No, no. I understood perfectly. I'm not a native English speaker either.
When discussing CoD or whatever, I didn't mean sexual acts per se but just about anything you might enjoy that the other person doesn't which is usually reserved for someone you're in a relationship with: whether it's romance, sex, etc.
As far as having your partner try it, sure, they can try it but what do you do when they don't like it but you absolutely love it? Do you repress that part of yourself?
And yeah, both things make sense to people! :)
EDIT: Also had cheating exes which sucked; however, over time, I realized I still had feelings for them and in the end, I realized that their transgressions aren't that big of a deal as long as you establish these rules first.
Belgand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
It's even more helpful (and much more common) in the BDSM community. Is your kink not your partners? Then that's fine, you'll find someone else who is into it and get to have fun together.
Sometimes it works out at an even more fundamental level. My long-term, live-in girlfriend and I are both dominant. Nothing kinky would work out between us, but instead we have a great, loving vanilla relationship together and do kinky things with other people. Everybody wins!
And when you spend time with a friend and find that you start developing feelings for them? It's suddenly not a big deal. I mean, OK, maybe it is an issue because you don't feel the same way about each other, but there's none of that "but I can only have romantic feelings for one person or there's something wrong with me" going on. You know, like a massive number of sitcom and romantic comedy plots? Simply not an issue any longer.
Tattered_Colours ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's similar to how some people like to have many friends and some only like to have a few. Some people simply love more than one person.
dmkicksballs13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you talking about marriage or dating?
RenkiDenki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To a certain degree both. Both are serious relationships, I guess the only difference is you're not vowing to stay together forever in one?
dmkicksballs13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you're seriously misinformed.
RenkiDenki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or we're just expecting different things.
xavierdc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surprisingly, /r/relationships absolutely hates this concept.
antoninj ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:29:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've seen that somewhere on there. It sucks.
folderol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy is a problem for modern society. Many of those guys that have 8 wives are on welfare because they can't afford a family that large. That's not acceptable. If you're a multi-millionaire then maybe as long as the kids are getting what they need.
katfacekillah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm good with this too, as long as it's equal. That TLC show where the guy gets 4 wives but the wives aren't allowed to have more husbands, that's messed up.
COMELY_LIL_KNT_69x ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:30:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they agreed to it...
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did they express a longing to have more husbands?
ProjectionA51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that'll be the next social issue people will have trouble with but will eventually pass. Hey, if you're all consenting adults, go nuts.
Africa_Whale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally can't invest myself in more than one person at a time, and I'd prefer if my partner would respect that and do the same.
But that's just me, I can very clearly understand how someone would want to experience multiple partners while only being emotionally invested in one, or at least a specific few. I just don't think I could personally make it work.
antoninj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
totally fine! I used to not be into it whatsoever but changed my mind over time. Just as long as it becomes more socially acceptable!
COMELY_LIL_KNT_69x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This so much. Having been lusting for other people many times in previous relationships, I'll be making sure my future "lovers" are open to a more sexually liberal relationship. Monogamy has its benefits of course but I need to explore dammit.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't agree more, love is much more fluent and diverse then being exactly one person for one other person every time. Obviously everything needs to be consensual and discussed in advance, but people should be able to love and live with as many different people as their heart desires.
DemeaningSarcasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think to a larger extent, that we shouldn't impose our viewpoints on relationships on anyone else. Everyone has different preferences and practices, and who am I to judge anyone on that. If your significant other happens to be different in any way, you have to make a choice on whether or not you are okay with it. Just because you're not okay with it, does not make the other person a bad person.
Jules- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sign me up!
Though, I'm one of the lucky ones that my parents individually accepted the way my husband and I live our lives. Its always hilarious when your dad gives your husband dating tips. I love it.
Conair003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I think it isn't natural to be with only one person for years and years. I think polyamory and polygamy can help take the boredom out of relationships. It is hard to live with someone for a week let alone 20 or 30 years.
bustedcougar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most polyamorous people are fat and ugly as shit. Dunno why, but they always are.
chaosmosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't particularly like the idea of having to compete with the most awesome people who exist. Exclusive relationships seem like they'd do better at promoting stability, through commitment. In principle, people can of course be committed to each other even while being in relationships with others. But in practice, I worry there would be tradeoffs, tending to encourage people to have many short lived sexually oriented relationships, and making deep long term relationships rarer.
I don't think it should be taboo or hated, but I'm okay that it is not a social norm. Maybe exceptional people can handle it in a healthy and happiness promoting way. But most of society probably can't IMO.
lobehold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem is often it leads to abuse (how many Mormon horror stories have we heard?), at least with one partner you limit the damage.
antoninj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, but imagine we had NO marriage whatsoever and someone wanted to introduce it. You'd deal with similar horror stories: women being in relationships with abusive partners, men being in fear of divorce due to alimony abuse, sexless marriages, arranged marriages with unhappy people, etc.
We're just used to classifying the bullshit from monogamous marriages differently rather than attributing it to marriage itself.
And do you limit the damage? Because with one partner, the focus is on YOU. That's it. Maybe if one abusive person had several spouses, those spouses could band together to stand up to the abuser.
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is fine, as long as you're both in for it. Otherwise it's just being an asshole. I don't see me ever doing this though, I get the feeling that there would always be a #2 in this and if you feel like #2 you're kind of fucked and the relationship is kind of over, you're just in for a bad time if you continue. Playing second fiddle when you were main fiddle before is a killer.
I also think it's something you have to be cool with and then find out whether you're cool with it after the other person is sleeping with someone else and see if you're ok with this situation and especially when the same is not true of you. It's not something you can do from armchair thinking.
ImLookingatU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peoples sex life is up to them so I agree with you on that part but more partners you have the more risks you take on getting an STDs. even condoms are not a guarantee that you wont catch anything. At least when you are in a monogamous relationship you and your partner dont risk infection if neither of you are infected.
The jealousy on the other hand... some people cant help it and it would cause more trouble than its worth.
Deako87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you have consent from all parties, best of luck to you.
I personally couldn't do it, I would be a jealous mother fucker.
My house mate is a bit of a man whore and he does this with around 3-4 women at the moment. It's rather impressive actually. All I can do is plead the 5th if any of the girls ask about the other girls.
aerosol999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care what other people do and if you can work it out good for you. But holy shit that sounds like a lot of drama just waiting to happen.
Gayburn_Wright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm stuck on the whole polyamory thing. I wouldn't condemn someone for it, but I fucking hate everything about it. Thinking about it upsets me. But like... To each their own. Man I hate when I start thinking about shit I don't think about for a reason. I've never been in a poly relationship, and my only experience with anything close to it was being lied to and fucked over because of one(Effectively, anywho... Long story)so I don't have the most... Unbiased feelings on the matter. And I totally get it, if someone wants to and all partners consent, more power to them, I wish them luck. But something about it just doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck it, folks of reddit who practice(Fuck I hate words I don't know how to use... Practice? Observe? Do?)polyamory... Why? What about it specifically appeals to you? How did you realize that it was what you wanted? If you are(or even were) in a polyamorous relationship, how did you initiate it? Did you? How do you broach that topic with people? I think what makes my feelings of distaste about it weird is that at the same time, in some idyllic form, it seems really... Cute. Adorable like... Somehow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the topic is discussed before additional partners are pursued, I really don't care if someone chooses to be in a relationship with multiple partners. Maintain honest and open communication about it, come to an agreement, and avoid betraying anyone's trust and I have absolutely no problem with it.
daBroviest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. If one guy and two girls/one girl and two guys/three girls/three guys/any combination of any gender all love each other, who is to say they shouldn't be able to have a public relationship?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I found ludicrous about some of the outrage against gay marriage.
Ooooh, now people can marry multiple people.
Me going, uhm, sure, why not, if it's between consenting adults, who cares.
Then they go BUT BUT, Bestiality!!
And my mind wonders what they don't understand about CONSENTING and ADULTS.
grimmolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/agree, though just as a matter of discussion, in many poly relationships you are binding yourself to others, and can have exclusivity, just not in a binary relationship (for example, closed triads / quads).
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's socially acceptable where I live, it's just also always, without fail, a 100% drama fest.
clomjompsonjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not against people being in not-committal relationships, But I feel like these things (especially polygamy) sound great but in practice are often used as vehicles to exploit people.
antoninj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the first part: they ARE being committal just in a different form. As far as the latter one, consider this: marriage was for a long time an oppressive and abusive institution (in many ways, but beneficial in many others). Don't you think our society could learn to be "normal" in polygamous relationships? Of course there will be abusive ones (just like monogamous relationships) but that doesn't mean people shouldn't have a chance at the love they want and feel they deserve.
clomjompsonjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just saying, from personal experience, I used to be way into polyamory for many years, until at some point I realised that a vast majority of people in that "scene" (myself included) were either deluding themselves into believing that their partner/s were truly committed to them, or were doing it out of a fear/lack of commitment themselves.
If you want to date multiple people fine, this Should not be frowned upon. If you're married and you and your spouse get your jollies by swinging or having threesomes/foursomes/manysomes/ whatever, that's a-ok. But if you're truly committed to someone, as in you've mutually agreed to be in a relationship and you love each other, live together etc you don't ration out your time and affection between someone else. Pick one. Don't be a douche.
SaintJimmy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda view this the same way as I do the gay agenda. Do I support it and I'm I ok with it? Yes. Would I do it? No. It's just not for me.
la_vie_en_fauve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. My. God. YES!
nira007pwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been wondering if I fall into that category. I've only been in one relationship, but I met her online and the whole thing was long distance. Personally I was okay if she wanted to hookup with other people, as long as there was no emotional attachments. Partly because I'd feel guilty since I couldn't be there for her physically. But at this point it still wouldn't matter to me even if we weren't long distance
But at the same time, I would be devastated if she fell in love with someone else, even if she still loved me too. So I guess it's not really polygamy but still sorta an open relationship? I never actually brought it up though since I didn't want her to think I was cheating on her and trying to justify it or whatever. I also only told one "friend" about it and he was giving me shit and called me a "cuckold" or something, so I avoid bringing it up with people I know too.
Ofcourseitislol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a poly relationship now. Just don't think humans were meant to bind themselves to one person for a lifetime. People are always changing and growing.
Centias ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's becoming more acceptable, but it's a slow process.
Had an interesting discussion with my wife about this once after the topic came up somewhere else. I realized that I could potentially see myself being in a sort of three-way relationship with two women and balance out the caring and attention and intimacy as necessary to make things work, provided the other two also have a connection. As in, it's not just two separate relationships where each of them are only in it for me and getting jealous when the other gets my time and attention. They also have to be in it for each other.
Wife said she couldn't do that because she needs to know she comes first for me, but could actually totally see us having a girlfriend on the side as long as she's in it for both of us and not just one or the other, doesn't try to split us apart, respects that our marriage/relationship comes first, and that she respects our rules for what is allowed/not allowed to happen 1-on-1 when one of us isn't around.
This arrangement may never happen, but if we actually found a girl in the right state of mind for that sort of arrangement, it could.
antoninj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually know a good deal of couples that are that way. And in fact, one of my friends was that girlfriend! It didn't last long (can't remember why) but people are definitely more open about it.
I'd love to know if it ever works out for you that way and if not, that's fine too! :)
Centias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We have a long-time friend of mine that has joined us for threesomes before that we discussed the idea about and sort of with, but she lives 4 hours away and she probably wouldn't have been ideal for such an arrangement. She has a boyfriend now, anyway.
It's not like a goal we are aiming for, but if we find some awesome chick we are both into and things work out that way, it could happen.
Phoequinox ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:54:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. People aren't meant to be shackled to one person. Having an open relationship is necessary. My wife and I are of the mind that if we come home and say we had sex with someone, we just ask if it was awesome.
sillybelcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the concern about what diseases the other is possibly bringing home? Or about her ending up pregnant (assuming you plan to keep it) - not knowing if it was you or some other man who did the impregnating? How can you and your wife be safe with so much exposure to negative consequences that will theoretically be shared with the other partner? And if there is no desire for fidelity, why get married in the first place (i.e., what benefits does a marriage bring if you acknowledge that neither will be faithful and further, believe that you aren't meant to be with one person? Why "tie down" that person in any sense through a legal commitment, then?)?
Phoequinox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hoo boy. Okay. I'll bite.
We aren't stupidly fucking strangers in alleyways. We use protection. We also don't have sex with people we don't know well.
This is too vague to answer clearly, but I assume you mean to ask how it might affect the third party. Again, only people we know and trust.
There will always be loyalty between us. We will never take a lover's side over each other's. But being allowed to escape from a routine is something everyone should be allowed to do. With jobs, with locations, and yes, with romance. It keeps us together because we don't get tired of each other. Going on five years now. Are you going to argue with that?
sillybelcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:28 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhhh. Ok. Because "protection" is a known guarantee against pregnancy/disease. Sure. Doesn't matter if you are/aren't "stupidly fucking strangers"; you're still exposing yourself to a whole WIDE range of disease. And no sex with "people we don't know well"? Because only those you know closely are clean?
But sure, if it works for you. That whole "escape from a routine" doesn't make any lick of sense to me; I'd never willingly venture into something I felt the need to regularly escape from in the first place.
kelustu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:13:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do you, but that shit just never works well.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:00:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Los Pollos Hermanos
theblackfool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marijuana is not meth.
One is green. The other is blue. Obviously.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 16:21:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Kasta_Fire ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:29:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touchy situation, but probably shouldn't be as taboo as it is. My aunt remarried when she had 3 kids and the guy she married had 3 kids. Most of the time the kids haven't even lived in the same house because his kids spend a lot of time at their mother's place. A couple of the kids got pretty close and romantically interested and the parents freaked out. These kids are not related and don't usually live in the same house. What's the big deal?
Edit: spelling
OrnateFreak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm just imagining Brady Bunch shenanigans...
Jack_Donaghy_Jr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS GUY FUCKS...
... his sister.
redstarr01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The trouble is that it complicates the family relationship. You should be able to have a brother/sister relationship and not have to worry about sex getting in the way. If you don't want to have a sexual relationship anymore, you don't want breaking up to be a problem for the sibling relationship. And you don't want any of the brothers and sisters to have favorites based on sex or to have to compete for each other's favor by using or withholding sex. It's not about biology or religion, just basic strong family dynamics versus extra drama.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It probably depends on their age when they meet. If they're raised together from like, 5? Weird. If they're both like 14 or over? Shit, I'd probably expect it then.
lets_trade_pikmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends on the situation. I don't think someone suddenly becomes your family just because two other people married eachother. On the other hand, I think someone can be a part of your family without sharing any blood.
For example, I have step sisters on both sides of my family. I was raised with the maternal step sisters and to me they are more my family than anyone in the world, so that puts them off-limits. But I hardly know my paternal step sister, so I think that would be completely okay if we were both attracted to each other (we're not, but hypothetically).
Whothehelldoyouthink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
George Michael Bluth?
_Invalid_Username__ ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:47:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dude she's your sister stop trying to fuck her.
solicitorpenguin ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper and Prostitutes
People paying for sex, what's wrong with that? Where's the freedom?
Bruno2019 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:58:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If sex trafficking weren't an issue here I would agree with you 100%.
Edit: For everyone saying that legalizing prostitution magically makes sex trafficking go away, look at Venezuela. If we're going to legalize prostitution we need to enforce clear anti-trafficking regulation.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the_omega99 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:20:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention that regulation can provide stronger protection for prostitutes and customers, such as by requiring regular STD checks, use of protection, having protocols to deal with abusive customers (which is a little hard if the prostitute is also breaking the law), and making it easier to investigate suspicions of trafficking (eg, if prostitution requires registering with the state by providing proof of age, identity, etc).
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:51:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Countries with legal prostitution often still have major problems with human trafficking. It really isn't a job someone will just willingly pick. Even if they are doing it by choice, there are probably circumstances forcing them into it.
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:48:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which, like drug crime, probably wouldn't be as much of a problem if it were legal. Why kidnap people and endanger your business when you can just properly hire people?
oohshineeobjects ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:52:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...except all the evidence says you're wrong. Countries where prostitution is legal have higher rates of human trafficking.
the_omega99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very interesting paper. It seems that in a sense, /u/CoffeeAndKarma isn't entirely wrong, since the paper mentions that non-trafficked prostitutes were preferred (which it calls the substitution effect) and part of what /u/CoffeeAndKarma is saying is that substitution effect. But the problem was that the increased market for prostitution happens to benefit the traffickers (which the paper calls the scale effect).
I wonder if that could be something that could be effected by:
And on that note, I wonder if this actually increases trafficking as a whole or if it's just causing trafficking to focus on certain countries. If it's the latter, then legalization in most of the world would presumably reduce/remove this effect.
Of course, there's also the topic of whether the higher rates of trafficking are a good reason to keep prostitution illegal, something that the paper briefly touches on in the conclusion, but that's not what you're talking about.
oohshineeobjects ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
With regards to your first point, I'd point out that prostitution has never been a crime in the Netherlands (though brothels were illegal until 2000), and yet that country is still one of the top human trafficking destinations. With regards to your second point, there's a tiered system which ranks countries by how well they comply with the Trafficking Victims Protection Act, and most of the top trafficking destinations are tier 1 (meaning full compliance) with a few at tier 2 (meaning they're actively working toward full compliance), so I doubt stricter regulation is the solution.
xxTheGoDxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with statistical analysis like this is that they almost always use the data of all forms of human trafficking (including voluntary) while you actually need the number of involuntary cases which of course is hard to come by. Strictly speaking all those numbers are guesses.
Its also a question how you define voluntary. Is a woman who pays a debt to the people who brought her in and keep her hidden from the authorities for being illegal in a country involuntary even though she isn't held against her will and could leave as she chooses?
If you look at the countries who are the most seek out destinations you just see a list of the wealthiest nations of the world plus Thailand no matter the prostitution legal status. Also rich European nations have in general mostly legalized prostitution.
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:40:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Figured it would be the same as the drug trafficking dynamic.
GhostPantsMcGee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:54:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making it illegal is what allows for a black market. If it's legal the risk/reward for cartels becomes untenable.
xxTheGoDxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't really a issue in western countries where prostitution is legal and regular controls happen.
MrDerpsicle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It works when it's legalized. Look at Nevada for an example.
SomeVelvetWarning ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:14:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much my stance. No matter how much she seems to love her job, there's a pretty good chance your favorite escort is a sex slave in a situation from which she has virtually no exit.
untimely_demise ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:10:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it may become legal as soon as they can find out how to properly tax it :/
OrnateFreak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:21:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the words of the great George Carlin:
"Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legalโฝ"
pukotoshana_murkals ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One of the my "radical" views is that respect and disdain for the military and sex workers should be reversed.
c_rbon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:14:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not just socially unacceptable, that's illegal. Well, at least the prostitution thing is.
khondrych ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:16:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's perfectly legal. You just have to film it.
solicitorpenguin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:19:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some places
the_omega99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's regional. Do remember that not everyone on the internet lives in your area. In some countries it's legal and regulated and in others it's decriminalized.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not in the civilised world, it isn't.
sibeliushelp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trafficking is what's wrong with it.
LeoJust ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:58:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women going topless on the beach... Or anywhere else, actually.
tcoop6231 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or inmyroom...
ahh_pistro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:30:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sending/reciprocating greetings cards for anything, can anyone honestly say they do anything for you other than fill up your paper recycling
His_submissive_slut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love greeting cards. I save all of them. They make me really happy. :(
omegakill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd go one step further and say any form of card, why can't I just call and say "happy birthday talk again next year!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Got my Eagle and then a few months later graduated. Seriously like almost 100 thank you cards
endospire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a box of my favourite birthday/christmas cards from my friends. They're great to look at if I'm having a crappy day. I also still have all the cards I was given by kids when I left the school I was working at 4 years ago.
AllSeeingGoatWizard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:12:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a beer alone. If I want to drink and play video games that's my business of anything it's better than drinking out and driving IMO.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking a blunt and VG or playing instruments is grand.
dontworryiwashedit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:08:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Young women showing their tits in public.
isaaccarreras ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only young women?
dontworryiwashedit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes. Older women doing it should be a criminal offense. Maybe punishable by death even.
isaaccarreras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems reasonable, now I won't keep running out of bleach
jdlyga ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:38:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm perfectly okay with a gentleman wearing his hat indoors.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
tips fedora
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:28:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women who choose not to shave legs/armpits/etc.
Not a huge list but I've seen a lot of women scorned for it as being "unladylike" and such, at least in the states. Bullshit attitude IMO.
Eona25 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:21:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Petting people. Like it's really weird but....nice.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Eona25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pets
SilverbackRibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Mmmm...don't you just look tasty as a cake"
NotInThePooperPlease ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:13:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone. I don't understand why drinking without another person in the room is often considered NECESSARILY indicative of a problem, and is used as a clinical indicator of alcohol problems. Sometimes when no one's home but me at the end of a long day, a nice sunset setting in my window and no one else's motherfucking problems to fix, well that's exactly when imma wantin' summa wine. If it's wrong I don't wanna be right. Anyway, the dogs are home.
tooncesthecat ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:18:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a woman unilaterally assaults a man (i.e. is the primary aggressor in a physical altercation), I believe it is OK for the man to defend himself physically.
cjpinto7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would warn anyone to back off before I beat the shit out of them be it men or women. No one has the right to hit me unless its something sexual. If its sexual I'd just let them proceed.
baudelairean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate people who justify violence against a guy across the board or if he was cheating/being inconsiderate/etc. It isn't right period.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:15:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The consumption of horses. My SO and I got into an argument about it but honestly I still don't see the problem.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:12:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds of those pics of a chinese(?) Event where they cooked and ate dogs. Everyone was all like "oh my god fuck those savages for eating dogs, they should be killed."
If its a custom to eat dogs in asia then so be it, thats their choice. We eat cows and those are sacred in other countries. Are we savages because we eat cows and other people dont agree with our choice of food?
the-hourglass ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:06:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with people eating whatever they want.
The issues came in when Yulin Dog Festival went out of their way to kidnap pets, torture them, then kill them. That's the wrong part.
Gary_FucKing ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minus the kidnapping part, we eat meat that's pretty much tortured when it's alive. I mean, pigs, cows, and chickens go through some hellish environments before being cut up, we're not exactly better about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of times they do, but not all do and there is awareness about it here. They are killed quickly, too. In China, animals literally aren't viewed as sentient. They are thought of like plants, unable to feel physically and emotionally. Then they are killed in excruciating and slow manner.
Gary_FucKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is awareness, but most still continue to eat meat just like they always have so it's not exactly better, I'd argue that it's worse to continue doing something you know is wrong than it is to do something you don't know is wrong. Also, it's only slightly quicker because they're fed growth hormones to speed up their growth which also leads to more torture and deformities so again, not better.
jacktheBOSS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:04:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's very much wrong.
Gary_FucKing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh very much so and people shouldn't be standing on a soap box about how wrong something is when they've chosen to do that very same thing in an area where it's socially acceptable.
Boush117 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:56:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What many people don't seem to understand is that eating dogs does not equal to the people hunting pet dogs to be eaten. Just because they eat a pet animal does not mean they will hunt down pets and eat them.
toastfacegrilla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:31:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the answer is yes we are all savages, get over it and wrench some flesh from dem bones
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Problem is that people can't understand the concept of raising such an animal for consumption only. As long as all the well being, sanitary and desensitizing norms are applied whatever meat you eat is the same.
jacktheBOSS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you have a problem with eating humans bred for consumption? Some animals are placed higher in a hierarchy by different societies, and eating them is a violation of social norms.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that, that's the point of the thread, and breeding humans for consumption is an entirely different ball game.
jacktheBOSS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I understand. I respect that you wish it weren't the case. I don't understand why breeding humans is a different ballgame though.
PonkyBreaksYourPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hello hores
zeugma25 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:14:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
equine TB is no joke
fractalfarmer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:02:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nor is bovine TB, we still eat steak.
dawninator ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 15:45:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a woman, I don't find the natural hair that grows all over my body disgusting. Unless I have a SO or a social event which I must show my legs or armpits then I find no reason to shave.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 17:36:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy with insanely hairy legs I wish it would be acceptable for me to have smooth legs...
Nice_Dude ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:43:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just buzz my legs and arms down to a 1 or 2, and it helps so so much
Prometheus720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is it. Invest in a trimmer, men.
Unique_Cyclist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cyclists commonly shave their legs. Not for aerodynamic improvements as is a common misbelief, but rather for getting massages after. This way they don't get the gel stuck in their leg hairs and that doesn't cause pain when trying to get it out.
I've grown to see nothing wrong with men shaving legs for whatever reason.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just do it and say youre a swimmer and its good for your speed. aerodynamically.
ElQuesoBandito ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:07:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hydrodynamically
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:58:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No areo, you know for when you jump out of the water like a dolfin.
FullmentalFiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy with insanely hairy legs, I can't even wear jeans or long socks without shaving because my legs will itch all day otherwise. So I never wear jeans or long socks. Then in the (60 degree) winter people think I'm insane for wearing shorts. You just can't win...
Psychic42 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:36:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a straight male, whatever makes you comfortable is okay by me. If you are happy how you are, you do you boo boo.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:52:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:57:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
fractalfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with women being hairy, I personally feel more physically comfortable with shaved underarms, that is my preference for myself - however I really don't care if someone else is hairy, it's their body and as long as they don't stink it really doesn't affect me what they do with it.
FullmentalFiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem lies in creating a scene, particularly if your job requires that you maintain a proper image, so to speak. Just because someone feels forced into altering their appearance to fit/avoid altercations in doesn't mean they have to agree with it too.
dawninator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to change the world. I know the world is never going to accept my hairy views so I keep my hairy beliefs to myself.
Gary_FucKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's kind of like when someone says they are for legalization, but don't smoke. You can be okay with something without having engage in it.
Brianna-Girl ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! I LOVE a close shave and being hairless and honestly, if I could snap my fingers and have 100% of my body hair just stop growing, I would, BUT: I don't feel disgusted when I have hairy legs, I don't freak out and act like the world is ending like men do when they see a little hair on a woman's body.
I recently grew out my armpit hair because I didn't have a razor and shockingly, my world didn't implode. It was awesome not to go through the hassle when showering.
Now I'm a hairless goddess again that I've got my razor, but there's nothing wrong with being a hairy goddess if that's what you want, for god's sake.
Kasta_Fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've always shaved my armpits but besides that it's not worth the bother to do it all the time. When it starts getting hot enough for swimming in the summer I'll get a can of hair removal cream and do my entire legs once, and then sort of maintain it, if I don't get too lazy, through the summer. Main reasons being i get less weird looks and it's faster to dry off after getting out of the water when you're hairless. I don't shave in pants weathers. It's so not worth it.
In my late teens I worried about it a lot, figuring people would think I'm gross and not want to be with me if I hadn't shaved. And then I discovered that when you take off your clothes, the person you're with is not usually focused on how lately you shaved your legs. Or if they are grossed out, they are not worth sleeping with anyways.
Brianna-Girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Well you're lucky. Most of the guys I know, as nice as they are, would probably find it disgusting to find out a woman doesn't shave. It's so shallow and ridiculous and I wish there wasn't such a huge phobia against women with... body hair.
Kasta_Fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm well I've heard that guys are more grossed out my armpit hair than leg hair, and it depends on colour and thickness of the hair. So when these guys are talking about a "girl who doesn't shave" they might be thinking of their worst case scenario. Also, what these guys say theoretically when they are hanging out in a group might not actually be what they practice, but they don't want to be the guy in the group with the "lowest standards".
Also, I'm a bigger girl, so the guys I sleep with are not that picky about how who they sleep with looks(ranging from super shallow just-want-to-get-laid to super deep I-care-more-about-personality), or they actually think I'm super hot in which case they are wayy too turned on to care.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, a woman with hairy legs and armpits doesn't really affect my attraction towards her. But if I were to openly admit that in public, I think people would judge me adversely.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would hazard a guess and say that guys don't find your mustache attractive. Just saying.
chili01 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:01:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non-violent disciplining your misbehaving child in public.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:11:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when my kid is being mouthy or not listening and I get shitty looks just for raising my voice (not yelling but taking it up a notch) or getting close and growling/commanding. My kids count on the fact that disciplining them in public can be an embarrassing situation and they sometimes take advantage of it to act out. I'm not about to beat my kid in Walmart (or anywhere else) but I'm not going to let him act foolishly if I can help it, either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or actually spanking your child, in public or not.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It makes people uncomfortable for the same reason any confrontation makes people uncomfortable, plus the worry that they might be/ be about to witness abuse.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:32:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally everything that isn't harmful.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is "harmful" is so vague, though, and that's the problem.
Some people would be mentally "harmed" by seeing a woman breast feeding her kid in public.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a case like that I'd say it's only "harmful" because it's socially unacceptable in the first place. Plus unless they're getting in your face with it I figure you could just look away from it if it bothers you.
RatsLiveInPalmTrees ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:06:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who don't "look" disabled being able to park in handicapped parking spots. People get really pissy when people not in wheelchairs or with broken legs park there. I've even seen news spots where they accost people who don't look disabled after parking there.
Guess what, some people have asthma, arthritis, or many other conditions that aren't visible that cause them to need to park there. If they have a sticker, leave them alone and assume they have a right to park there. Don't make them explain their health conditions to you because it is none of your goddamn business.
Ijustregisterforthis ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 15:54:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sex before marriage...
I_HAVE_PHOBOPHOBIA ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:42:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are we living in the same century?
Ijustregisterforthis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:54:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes...
ingridelena ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol uh, there's a much bigger stigma towards people who wait for marriage than those who don't.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:26:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so strange that this is not even part of my world image. I have met people who are against sex before marriage but in any situation they would and will be considered extremely odd.
Tomus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never met a single person who is against sex before marriage, it's strange how people have different taboos.
waterdrinker9 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:21:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And living together before you're married.
ingridelena ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:26:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neither of which are socially unacceptable.
waterdrinker9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To some it is. I hear it the older crowd put it down more.
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those people are too few and far between to make something socially unacceptable tho.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ijustregisterforthis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats the point, religious people are still majority not only in US... Just few countries are the flaw and not the rule...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok saw this and felt the need to share this what if scenario: you get married after a few years of dating, finally plugging in the old Johnson, and you find out after a few minutes that the two of you are totally sexually incompatible??? That sounds awful. Sure, you can cry out to your conservative Christian god that "oh no! There's so much more to a relationship than sex!" In which case, you're right, sex is just one piece of the puzzle. But who the hell sits back and admires an incomplete puzzle??? Bottom line, you should find out if your sexually compatible with a person before signing away your life to the bastard.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:23:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I'll bite.
My wife and I both abstained until marriage. Before I got married, I heard this argument (what if you're not sexually compatible?) a lot, and it never made much sense to me. How were we not going to be "compatible"? If she hadn't been a straight human female, I wouldn't have married her. If we hadn't been attracted to each other, we wouldn't have married each other.
The first few times we had sex it was...poorly executed, but eventually we figured out what worked for us, because of course we did. I find quite silly the notion that two people who like each other and are attracted to each other and committed to each other won't be able to figure out a way to make sexual relations enjoyable.
Kuatsu742 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:30:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well what ive always thought of this is differences in sex drive. If one person wants to have sex a lot, and the other only wants it occasionally or not at all, it could cause a lot of problems. Not neccessarily insurmountable, but very difficult to reconcile
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This would be an issue, but to some extent you can discuss it before you get married.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We did premarital counseling before we got married; we were encouraged to discuss our expectations regarding sex. People have different expectations and assumptions regarding frequency, etc., so it's a good idea to talk about that beforehand. Just because you haven't had sex doesn't mean you aren't aware of your sex drive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Understood, there are many factors that can be overlooked however. Fetishes or other bedroom desires that could be turn offs for the other member.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but these are things we can explore together. If I have a particular fetish or bedroom desire that my wife doesn't like, it's probably not going to happen very often, and that's fine.
aqouta ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:32:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incompatible how? Is her vagina metric and his dick customary?
homunculus87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:23:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
For example, when their sexual preferences barely overlap.
aqouta ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are virgins they don't have sexual preferences, they get to discover them together.
Tomus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is just plain wrong.
Imagine you and a friend have never listened to music before and you decide "ok, let's discover music together", do you think it's entirely impossible to both disagree on which music you like?
aqouta ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh come on it's not like blood types, baring health issues any two people who love each other can have a good time in the bed. It's not like they have fetishes.
homunculus87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nope. Been there, done that. It is possible to love each other and have very different sexual expectations and preferences despite both being heterosexual. If it worked out for you, then that's great. But it does not work out for every couple.
EDIT: For clarification, I consider a couple sexually incompatible when at least one party has sexual desires which s/he deems essential but the other party denies to live out this desire.
PJDubsen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they are sibilings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No you spoiled avocado! Have you ever heard of things such as fetishes? How's about desire of speed, or hardness of core?? What if you marry and discover your partner can't get aroused unless you fire a flare gun up your arse??? These are details you should not overlook my dear man!
aqouta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
things like fetishes are probably pretty rare in virgin and should be discussed before getting married, if you can't get off without a flare gun in your ass it's something that would come up before the big day. Speed is something two adults can figure out and will hardly make satisfying sex impossible.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1802108/
Ijustregisterforthis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dont get me wrong, the question was clear, socially unacceptable is not synonymous of not happening....its even more clear when childs of religious parents get pregnant before wedding....cof Paling cof....
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:29:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
mrnagrom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't hit living things that are weaker than me. If you are of comparable ability, i'll hit back.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This quote is me in so many ways.
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hit them just as hard as you would a man- don't be sexist! Seriously, though- women do awful things too. Women rape, women kill- it's just not as publicized as males. ANYONE can be a bad person, regardless of gender.
pagirl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:51:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crossing my arms. It is comfortable, and I don't know what to with my silly arms. I really don't want to be confrontational though.
LethalWeapon10 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:01:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes. As in offensive jokes. I love sexist, racist, offensive, etc jokes. There are limits, as I wouldn't say a rape joke to a rape victim, but I love anything offensive. And I definitely love it when someone says a joke I'd find offensive.
I hate racism/sexism, but love jokes about it. IDK why.
cornflowergold ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
one thing to consider is that you have no way of knowing who might be a rape victim
LethalWeapon10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have no way of knowing anything when you joke. Make a momma joke? Their mom might be dead. Dead babby joke? They may have lost a baby. I don't believe in holding back because anyone could be anything.
cornflowergold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just pointing that out because you specifically mentioned wouldn't say a rape joke to a rape victim - which could be anyone, even your best bro. cheers
LethalWeapon10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. Cheers.
FutureExMrsGoldblum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:54:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only offensive joke is an unfunny one.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:48:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not racism/sexism if you hate on everyone equally.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How would you know they were a rape victim?
LethalWeapon10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess if they told me. IDK.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just being difficult. You point is pretty obvious.
dowhatuwant2 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A rape joke being told to a rape victim sounds pretty hilarious. In a rather awkward way.
"oh damn you've been raped before? that reminds me of...."
xavierdc ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:13:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not being sexually or physically attracted to certain races, body types, etc.
Trolling-along ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:11:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never found the Klingons attractive.
wolfGuy200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/klingonbodyhate
untimely_demise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you for giving me false hope, I was thinking no fucking way that's a thing, and I was right :(
wolfGuy200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes this!
I got called a racist before because I said I wasn't sexually attracted to certain races. I'm the least racist person I know!
Just because I'm not sexually attracted to a race doesn't mean I wish them harm, or to not have the same rights as me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen people criticizing others for being attracted to certain characteristics. Like, personally, I don't find girls with really short "guy" haircuts attractive. It doesn't effect the way I treat them in any way and I don't feel like I can help it any more than a homosexual can. In my opinion, people are attracted to what they are attracted to, and that goes far past gender.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:56:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The point being, though, what's wrong with me saying that? I'm not passing judgement, hear stating my personal preferences. It's okay for a guy to say he doesn't like blondes or redheads, so why not black people or Asians?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find white people very unattractive.
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's your right. Totally valid. We have a distinct set of features that is possible to find unattractive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:03 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yet me stating my personal preference that happens to exclude white people is downvoted. Which is basically evidence that the same whites that make and upvote comments like yours get butthurt when it's applied towards them. :)
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:37 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I set your comment back to the positives, because I find people's behavior about this to be disappointing and silly.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:50:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CoffeeAndKarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is not being sexually interesting to one person ' being excluded'?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:30:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
_lextacy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:44:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not liking someone isn't the same as not being attracted to them. I can generally like black people or asians and be friends with them without being physically attracted to them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual attraction is completely different from wanting a group or race of people to not have equal rights, or to hate them as people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, thinking a race is superior to another is.
Intotheopen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:25:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Direct honesty. Doesn't bother me. Bothers some people.
theblackfool ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well it depends. Are you being honest because you're trying to help someone, or just because you want to be a dick. People are usually offended at the latter.
dHoser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolute statements are easy targets. Real life is always more complex.
"Your baby is ugly."
"Your mother is dying." (to a child)
"The dinner you made was terrible, honey. Can we have anal sex now?"
awdasdaafawda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You have to temper this maxim with tact. Is your direct honesty helpful or harmful?
turtlepuberty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The rub is that the people who do it for the wrong reasons are exactly the people who lack the humility and introspection to know it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really annoys me when I have to figure out if other people are lying, or if I have to lie to someone else.
But you have to be really careful when you're being really honest. Typically you have to soften the blow,
HeyItsHaley123 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:14:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding in public. Babies gotta eat, y'all. So you're gonna treat that mother in the booth over there like she's a second class citizen and ask her to go somewhere else to provide her child nourishment because your 10-year-old boy's virgin eyes can't handle it. News flash, lady, he's already seen boobs. I promise. If not when YOU breastfed him, then on the internet. They're just boobs. And what she's doing across the room is not only natural, but beautiful.
kurozaki31 ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 18:43:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could use the same logic for justifying people taking a shit on the sidewalk if there isn't a nearby bathroom.
boomorange ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that would be a bit of health hazard, whereas an exposed nipple isn't.
HeyItsHaley123 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:20:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. Shitting on the side walk is unsanitary, messy, and disturbs other people. I just think breastfeeding shouldn't bother anyone else. A mother doesn't leave a mess after she's done like shitting on the sidewalk would.
kurozaki31 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding also disturbs other people.
HeyItsHaley123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not directly though. No one is directly affected by another person breastfeeding. There is no chance that that woman's breast or breastmilk will come in contact with you. Shit on the sidewalk, on the other hand, is a different story.
If you are bothered by breasts in public, that is a matter of opinion. However, I don't know anyone that wouldn't be bothered by shit on the sidewalk.
rayyychul ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:45:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You also have to be looking pretty damn hard to see anything when a woman is breastfeeding. Most women cover up in public, and if not, the baby usually covers everything.
kurozaki31 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:28:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What about urine on the street? who would be affected by it? It would eventually be washed away by water or evaporate or something. And if you have to go and there's no bathroom near by you have to do it.
Polite_Werewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... How? Taking a shit on the sidewalk can lead to serious health risks for those around you. Breastfeeding... doesn't. It's two completely different things.
thejavakat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:56:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nor is taking a shit the same as feeding your kid. Stay in your hole cretin.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, because taking a shit is the same as feeding a child. You're fucking dumb, bud.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:45:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution. I don't understand why almost everyone gets so worked up about prostitution.
You spend hours voluntarily coaching kids football team, they don't call you Jack the Football coach.
You donate hundreds of bucks to local charities, they don't call you Jack the Philanthropist.
But god forbid you get caught receiving 1 blowjob in the privacy of your car, and you are forever Punter Jack.
turtlepuberty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:23:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The 'dates' iv'e had with prostitutes have been super pleasant because all cards are on the table. Both parties are usually up front about what they expect from the time they intend to spend together. Then, consider people who use sex as leverage in a traditional relationship or people who wont fuck on a date unless some unspecified amount of money was spent on the nights entertainment and food.
CatholicAlternate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Setting aside the immorality of prostitution for a minute, most prostitutes are not even doing so out of their own free will.
Toadxx ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:25:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For those that are doing it put of free will, how is it immoral? People like sex. People like money.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's immoral because most people in the sex industry are slaves. Another large portion of them are there because society has failed them and this is the only way they can survive.
The amount of prostitutes that do it by choice and had alternative options available to them is a pretty slim.
I'd say in this day and age prostitution is immoral because being a client makes you pretty immoral. You're likely sleeping with a slave or a socially damaged individual. You just can't know. Hell I'm sure I would have been with plenty of prostitutes when I was younger if I could somehow magically know their situation. I don't promote slavery and torture.
Toadxx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:17:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Valid points, other than the fact that I specified those that are doing it of free will.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except a client can't know if they are doing it of free will. Which is the point I was making.
Thus making it immoral for the clients. I don't believe the prostitute has done anything wrong in any case.
If we lived in a magical world where there where all prostitutes were there by choice then sure.
IWantToBeTheBoshy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:23:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh, so you mean legalized prostitution? That's what the guy replying to you above was saying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except it's not. He was talking about free will.
If we lived in a magical world where legalized prostitution existed ... (I realize it's legal in some places but it's not in most).
turtlepuberty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweatshop Nikes vs Prostitute morality circlejerk......OK GO!!!!
Toadxx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the argument you should be trying to make, is that those who hire prostitutes are immoral. It would work better than trying to argue that prostitution itself is immoral.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol who the hell is downvoting this?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People NEED sex. It's a biological need.
His_submissive_slut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. No. Nobody dies from insufficient fucking.
zudomo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:12:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Making it legal would set aside all the fears for immorality and sex slavery.
It would make it so much harder to force women into this because now they can go the cops and be protected under law from unsafe working conditions (which would be established upon making it legal).
The threat to the community (i.e. pimps, illegal activities, spread of disease) would be nearly abolished due to strict standards of testing and enforcement of safe practices.
EDIT: I wrote the above, under the assumption that the immorality came from a fear/responsibility of spreading disease within a community. I understand your belief may just be "don't pay for sex" but I feel morality is only a thing on where there is a victim to an action. Making it legal removes victims.
oohshineeobjects ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
except that countries with legalized prostitution actually have higher rates of human trafficking
CatholicAlternate ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 19:23:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, prostitution is just objectively immoral. The ends of sex are procreation and unity of spouses -- and a prostitute is never going to be your spouse. While you might say sex can and should be enjoyed for pleasure's sake -- why does that pleasure exist? Firstly, to encourage procreation between a man and a woman -- and such procreation is only proper in a permanent and stable union (marriage). Secondly, to unite the spouses, bringing them closer together in intimacy -- such unity and intimacy being useful to the permanence of their union. Moreover, sex naturally brings about a sense of attachment in both men and women, but especially in women -- again pointing to sex having a final cause dealing with unity.
This would still be false. For prostitution naturally hurts the prostitute and his or her "customer" as it is so contrary to their good. I mean, a man chopping off his own leg for a political statement has "no victims" in the same sense as prostitution -- since all parties are consenting -- but that does not stop such an act from being contrary to his good, the functioning of his legs, and thus also the reason he is imbued with and the nature he has.
If a man chooses to become addicted to a drug or commit suicide out of depression, his actions have no "victims" who did not "consent" -- however, each action would be contrary to his good. Indeed, since such actions are so contrary to his good, we can know that, if his reasonable capacities were functioning as they should, he would not commit either act -- and thus he can truly consent to neither. Prostitution is no different -- for if the parties were truly aware of the damage they do to themselves and others (especially when tearing apart families or marriages), then they would never give their consent. Thus, the act cannot actually be consented to reasonably.
MichioKotarou ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:53:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell if you're trolling...
Sex is not some horrible dirty thing. Also, procreation and spouses only? So people eho don't want to get married or have kids can never have sex?
CatholicAlternate ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 21:23:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How on Earth did you get that off what I posted? I said and will continue to say that sex is good, indeed, very good -- bringing about unity among spouses and even new life. However, it needs its proper context, which is found in marriage. Again, what is the purpose, the end, or the final cause of sex? The pleasure is good, but it's not the reason for sex.
Yes, sexual acts should be ordered towards procreation and between spouses. This does not mean procreation must occur, however.
People who aren't married should not be having sex, correct.
An infertile or elderly couple can still order their sexual relations towards procreation. Thus, sexual intercourse is perfectly legitimate for a married 90-year man and woman.
baudelairean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Look at the puritanical little tyrant who wants to shame people for having sex outside of marriage. By your warped views, the vast majority of people are highly immoral because they had sex with another consenting adult they weren't married to. In your honor, I will have a hook-up tonight on both grindr and tindr and pray to Jesus thanking him for your inspiration to have fun. Thank you.
zudomo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the second reason you provide for having sex (aside from having children) and this is an important one as this bond can be achieved out of wedlock or with a homosexual relationship (I get the feeling you're against those too) and prostitution. Many prostitutes/escorts have regulars.
Morality is never objective. It's always subjective. It's at the whim of whatever the culture believes to be right.
Victimization
I understand your point but I should clarify mine then. There is no external victim.
People are allowed and should be allowed to make the choices that they deem best for themselves as long as the consequences do not hinder or infringe upon other's rights.
The examples you provided above are willful participants and are willfully accepting of any of the consequences that may be incurred to themselves but do no harm to others.
Does it not workout and can it be a regret and damaging in the long term? Sure. But we all have regrets. We all make choices we believe to be right at the time or do what we need to do. It isn't up for others to decide.
"It may be a mistake, but it's our mistake to make" - type deal
TheHardWorkingIngo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Check the username and let it go.
apinc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How many prostitutes have you talked to exactly?
I have talked to scores of them. Virtually every single one treated it as a job. None of them ever even hinted at trafficking. In fact several of them had had family call when I was talking to them and they would just answer "I'm at work. I'll call you later". Dozens of them have even given me their other number so they can meet up with me directly, away from the agency.
The ones you see on all these documentaries are probably the only ones actually being trafficked and forced into it.
Valiade ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:15:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it were legal a lot more prostitutes would be so of their own will.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A few more, not a lot. It's not an appealing job. If it were legal, most of the legal ones doing it on their own will would be doing it because of lack of options and need for money, just like many illegal ones do now.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:41:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well said, CatholicAlternate.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are the best kind :)
baudelairean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Playing football would make you Punter Jack.;-)
Gaolbreaker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:47:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks with Sandals. If I wear shoes my feet sweat, regardless of the weather so I like to be in socks or barefoot nearly all the time. When I get home, first thing I do is kick off my shoes.
Walking outside or into the back garden, around the patio isn't suitable with socks as you'll ruin them, shoes are too warm, sandals aren't comfortable enough like socks are, they stick to my sweaty feet. So socks with sandals would be a perfect solution, except that it is so socially unacceptable that I never do it unless subjecting myself to all sorts of ridicule from siblings and anyone else in the vicinity.
So instead I just walk around barefoot like a hippy, soles of my feet turning calloused and black with wear and dirt. For some reason hobo feet are fine.
Whenever I see a German tourist with his cargo shorts and socks with sandals, I think "Damn that lucky bastard and his comfortable attire. What a modern and accepting culture he must live in."
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:55:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you come into my house after a long day of working or walking, go ahead and put your feet up on my table. To consider that rude would be to consider it rude for you to feel comfortable in my home. And it's only considered unacceptable because way back in ancient times showing someone the soles of your feet meant you thought they were below you or something stupid like that. Idiotic convention that needs to die so working people can relax their feet in confidence.
TheRachaelFish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are these things called footstools. No one is putting their feet on my table. That's filthy.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We're not all pharaoh of Egypt being able to afford footstools and all that fanciness. Some of us just have a simple sofa, a plain table in front and then the TV in front of that.
kdoodlethug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it depends. I would prefer that someone not put dirty shoes, socks, or feet on my table, regardless of whether it was a coffee table or kitchen table. But if they are reasonably clean I probably wouldn't care, as long as the table was made well enough to support the weight.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want whatever you stepped in on my table. I don't want whatever I stepped in on my table for that matter.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So don't step in stuff? Or, you know, take your shoes off.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you are wearing brand new shoes, there are things on the bottom of your shoes and unless you have just gotten out of the shower, feet are dirty and gross. I couldn't care less about seeing the bottom of someone's feet, but feet don't belong up on a table, at least in my home.
YetAnother_WhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of socks? The perfect middle ground between bare feet and shoes.
damienthc ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:03:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unsticking your ball-sack from the leg. A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
Phooka12 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:13:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cursing heavily in general conversation is considered normal and just in my culture but only really in my culture. But I still do it in countries where it's not accepted.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:34:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't get that. In movies the actor/actress generally portrays a normal person, who swears a bunch and the audience is cool with it. But if anyone acts like that in general society, people immediately think that guy has myriad of problems.
BlakeSteel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:24:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If swearing becomes acceptable then it's not swearing anymore. I like my swearing to have an impact. Also, if you swear frequently in conversation it shows lack of vocabulary which can be construed as a lack of intelligence.
pomporn ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who think like that are just pricks. "A lack of vocabulary"? The only way to appease those people seems to be cramming a wide variety of words into every sentence to demonstrate how many you know. Fuck that.
Liquid_Beaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I get that response a lot, and normally they are incredibly snooty about it, so I like to respond by asking "Do you think 'vernacular' and 'vocabulary' are the same thing?". I can't remember one of them ever having a response to that.
One is the group of words I choose to use, and the other is all the words that I know.
Ironically enough, most of the people I've ever heard make that "lack of vocabulary" argument are the ones that have the hardest time rewording a sentence using other synonyms.
BlakeSteel ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't care that you sound less intelligent that's fine. I'm sure your friends and family know what you're mentally capable of. But if you meet a stranger and use the words fuck and shit three times in every sentence you're going to sound dumb. That's just the way it is.
It's sounds like you really care what other people think about you but don't want to do anything about it. It's either one or the other my friend. It's like the teenager who has a blue mohawk and get's mad when people treat him like a street punk.
Liquid_Beaver ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:20:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not at all like the person you are describing, but I find it funny that you don't see the logical fallacy inherent in your argument that word choice is in any way indicative of mental capacity. That is a stereotype that is seriously ingrained in you, obviously.
BlakeSteel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:22:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, now you have shown lack of intelligence. Sometimes the stereotypes are true I guess.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious: Australian, Scottish or elsewhere?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which culture? In mine (Scottish) it is very very common
Phooka12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irish :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similar enough
ferchor2003 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I normally consider a person who cannot express his/her feelings without resorting to curse words as uneducated and simply rude. I will not hate you, simply take whatever you say with a grain of salt.
Phooka12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See that's the difference in countries like mine (Ireland) compared to others, we're not using curse words to express our feelings when in conversation. Curse words when used in conversation aren't considered to be vulgar but as normal as any other word and it certainly doesn't make us uneducated or rude as it's just the norm for the majority.
SuperSunshineRainbow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:42:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hugging people you have just met.
lostsemicolon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's an interesting social dilemma. My preferred salutation is hugs. But I've come across people who are recovering sexual abuse/assault victims, and had to apologize before.
I usually let people make the first move or see if someone that knows them slightly better hugs.
BeeCDN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:50:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not giving gifts for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries....any occasion.
I basically hate gift-giving as an obligation. I much prefer to buy someone a gift regardless of the time of year providing a)I like them enough to even be getting them a gift in the first place, b)I think they'll like it and c)I can afford it at that time.
My mum has a fit pretty much every time a traditional gift-giving occasion rolls around because I more often than not haven't got her or my dad anything. Now, my parents don't especially like me very much and they're quite happy to show that fact. So is it any wonder that I resent having her demand presents from me just because tradition dictates it? My closest friends, on the other hand, never expect/demand anything from me and I like to surprise them at different times with things for them or their kids, just because I feel like it.
It's just a very odd culture as far as I'm concerned. "Congratulations! You didn't die this year. Have this poorly thought out gift that I didn't even want to get you but felt pressured into getting you because we share blood without sharing any actual closeness in our relationship. We'll now continue to have cold, sporadic exchanges online until your next birthday when I get to spend more money I don't want have on you."
I also hate the "you got me something so I have to get you something" attitude. I undermines the whole point of gifting for me.
EDIT: Grammar
VealIsNotAVegetable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know the feeling. When I find something I can afford and I think they'll like, I'll get the right person the right thing. I'm terrible when it comes to Christmas/Birthday/Anniversaries.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:56:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
epicpotatofantasy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. I support the legalisation of prostitution in the same way I support the legalisation of weed--if given the choice, most people will choose the safer, more legal option. Even if it wasn't legalised, jailing prostitutes is one of the most immoral things the government does. Instead, the police should prosecute the pimps.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
epicpotatofantasy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly indentured servants. Imagine paid slaves. They get pocket money, but are functionally property rented out by the pimp. That makes it even worse, and makes it even more important to legalise. I think the best system I've seen was in Firefly: companions are a respected class, choose their clients, and can blacklist anyone they want.
SpookyBDSM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kink, having an open relationship, working literally where ever the fuck you want. My life raises hell on people with good old fashioned middle class families and sensibilities.
DipthongHere ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:14:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. Homo Erectus didn't have tissues around when he was stuffed up.
Scitzofrania ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using your car horn
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some parents seem to regard the choice or circumstance of not having children as unacceptable, and will even ask the couple why they are childless, as if some unspoken universal law of procreation has been violated. Whereas I'm ok with a couples personal choice or circumstance, and would never ask them this.
Gorstag ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racist, sexist, derogatory jokes.
They are a joke. They are not meant to be taken as some literal command to live your life as a racist. They are designed to be awkward, rude, and funny.
And hell you won't remember them in a week anyway.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree.
However, there is the idea that it normalizes and excuses racism, which is a valid point.
At the end of the day, though, if one doesn't have the compassion and maturity to take a joke as a joke, then the problem lies in them, and it will take a lot more than not making jokes to fix that problem.
People need to relax. All things in context. Anything can be venomous if there's malice behind it. Making a black joke or marriage joke isn't inherently hateful and malicious.
Gorstag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See that's the thing. It could be black, white, asian, jewish, polish, etc.. In the US we just assume racist joke = black joke which is really part of the whole problem.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True. I was just making an example most could relate to. Racism isn't exclusive to blacks. That's absurd.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:06:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UniversalFarrago ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hateful and malicious? Hardly.
Frankly, 80% of the time I hurt someone's feelings, I don't care. It's not because I lack empathy or compassion. It's that people have become hypersensitive pussies that are used to having people walk on eggshells around them to protect their precious feelings.
For fuck's sake, we're adults. It's high time we learn to deal with our feelings, and not take everything so damn personally. We're not children at the playground anymore.
Kids get their feelings hurt. Adults get upset. If I my words hurt or truly upset someone, I care. Because they're fellow human beings, and I don't want to see them in pain. But getting your panties in a twist just because a joke was made about a group you belong in? I don't have time for that kind of petty thing.
His_submissive_slut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay.
RectalRagnarok ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:09:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am comfortable taking verbal abuse aka banter. I don't take it personally and enjoy giving some back. While I wouldn't necessarily call this socially unacceptable but I've met a lot of people that are uncomfortable with this kind of dynamic. I tend to call them bitches.
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bitches to the utmost degree.
standardwoman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farts. I literally don't care. As long as you're not doing it to be obnoxious or following it with a dutch oven, who even cares? We all do it...
Vukko_GX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure about this one, smelling someone else's farts while e.g. eating doesn't seem that appealing to me
IfYouGotTheJuice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:41:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. I honestly cannot think of a single reason for it to be illegal as long as all parties are consenting.
CircumventingUrban ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:43:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unprofessionalism
But not as you know it. More like being a human. We've gotten to the point that to be professional means to not be human.
NGeX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:44:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly...picking your nose. It's a natural prime ape instinct. Why the hell do we think it's so gross? Its normal and EVERYONE DOES IT!!
PurpleFritoPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thoroughly enjoy mining my nose. Nothing beats the satisfaction of pulling out a really nice one and then giving it a good checking over. Especially those kind where you can feel the pull of it way up into your sinuses. Those are the best.
NGeX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agree! Is so relieving!!
squizzage ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:55:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. Who gives a shit.
riding_spinnas ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:59:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. Want some more salsa on that chip you already took a bite out of, have at it my friend, dip that chip as many times as you want.
anxiety23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:24:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is okay with me with certain family members and friends but I would get grossed out if it was a stranger or someone I don't like.
ShadowXjr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I second this.
daved2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Third
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip. Look, from now on when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it.
phych ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knocking out a woman who is assaulting someone.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:43:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is swearing still socially unacceptable? Guess it depends on the situation. But for the most part, I don't get the stigma on swearing. It's just words. Especially they aren't being used in a derogatory way to someone, who cares if I yell "fucking shit balls" in exasperation
TheRachaelFish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole point of swear words is that they're socially unacceptable. It's basically someone saying I am so angry at this situation that I no longer care about using appropriate language. When someone swears you know something is wrong. So if a swear word becomes socially acceptable, I guarantee people will find another word to use.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, so what's the point of giving it power if it's arbitrary and can be replaced on a whim.
Nevera_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:46:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a man opening up to someone personally to show them I trust them.. In my generation its not very common and often its not returned.
crumpus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nipples.
(Or breastfeeding)
DAMNATiON182 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:51:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling a parent to shut their child up.
baboon_bae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Browsing a friends Facebook profile to see what they're up to lately. No it's not 'Facebook stalking' I'm genuinely interested in the lives of my friends and family.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:20:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Venting out about my problems. I have some hefty mental health issues and cannot afford a doctor. I live alone, I dont have pets and my friends all live at least a 30 minute bicycle/bus ride away. That being said when stuff gets really intense I have to externalize it so I can try and make sense of what my brain is telling me ( eg if the situation is as bad as it appears or if im projecting my anxieties into it and making it worse ). I have lost people I once considered friends over this and am always told by my father that I should keep my problems to myself. He will often say "No one will want you around if you appear to be sad all the time." which seems to be true for the most part. Venting out my issues have allowed me to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings though so I will use it till I can't.
CalamitousSpider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are the same person.
5thGraderLogic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:25:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the sink.
Wait. What?
arcesious ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:37:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll try make a case here on a few things for which I know well are quite controversial and sensitive topics, in the hopes that perhaps others will consider it and agree, as though I may risk it being downvoted into oblivion I think it needs to be mentioned here. Incest, polygamy, and pedophilia. Each of these are well known for being socially unacceptable by a wide margin, but I do not have a problem with them as long as specific limits are met for each. First, incest - I have no issue with it as long as those involved do not procreate. Polygamy - I have no problem with it as long as those involved are all fully consenting. Pedophilia - I have no problem with people who are such as long as they never act on their attraction towards any minor. As this last one is a very troublesome matter we no choice but to keep a close eye on anyone who is discovered to be one, but I otherwise don't think we need to prosecute them for say, possession of hand-drawn pornography. All of three of these I have no problem with as long as people aren't getting hurt, because it's none of my business. (Except the third one, in which due to what it is it would be stupid for law enforcement not to at least keep a close eye on any suspected pedophiles.)
NothappyJane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating non breakfast foods for breakfast. I want to eat lollies, coffee or lasagne or miso soup for breakfast I will. I just don't like breakfast. It's not my thing.
GinjaNinja-NZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. Just do it. I don't give a shit...
el_refrigerator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:41:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling off someone's kid if they're being unruly in a public setting.
davidensign ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:43:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. Some boogs cant be blown out.
Me_Myself_And_l ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:08:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm tardy to the party, but forgetting a person's name. I just have a bad memory, I don't dislike you or anything.
UniversityOfPi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
+1
Sometimes I can literally give you the paragraph biography/explanation on someone but can't come up with their name.
widermind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can I borrow this quote? I like it
okayteapee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:48:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking more than a week of vacation at a time.
nhavar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:48:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Talking about your salary. Everyone should do it as long as they're doing it to get a gauge of the range and not doing it to show off
Non-monogamy/Polyamory/Polygamy - who cares what anyone thinks about it. It's happening whether people want it to or not. If I had a choice between Polygamy versus serial monogamy with divorce I'd say polygamy. I think too many people end salvageable and sometimes even great relationships over minor relationship problems and sexual misconduct, instead of being honest with each other and working it out.
Incest - yeah, yeah, gross, whatever. Not like I want to get with any of my sisters or anything, but I fail to see the big deal. I've heard a few stories now about people given up for adoption and finding one another accidentally and learning only later they were related. Same with cousins. The only reason we have barriers to incest is because of birth defects, yet you don't see people with known passable genetic issues being screened and forbidden from getting married, having sex, or producing offspring. In my book if it's consensual at a reasonable legal age, then I don't care. Plus, if you wanna go all biblical and stuff if Adam and Eve were the first two people then someone at some point had to have sex with someone they were related to and God didn't strike them down.
Age Gaps - who cares. Just because you wanna attribute some stereotype to people who might date someone younger or older than themselves doesn't make it true for those two people. Plenty of relationships out there with an age gap that are perfectly happy except for the undue societal pressure put upon them.
Childless couples - If they're happy without kids, leave them alone
Marriageless couples - If they choose to live together for 60 years without a marriage certificate, who cares. It's none of your business.
Head of household - Letting someone in the relationship be dominant and the other submissive. You can still be equals but at some point there needs to be a tie breaker and every relationship needs to have a clear measure of what that means. For some it's going to be some egalitarian set of rules, for others it's going to be a clear role of who is the head and who follows. Mind you I'm not about some of the more forced and strained conservative images of this type of relationship, but more for couples deciding for themselves what it looks like to them.
Being yourself has limits - Depending on your social circle you might be in a group of people that says "it's okay to be yourself" and for the most part I agree. However, I think there are people out there that are provocateurs who aren't themselves but instead some exaggerated version of themselves expressed solely to get attention or push people's buttons. I don't like that. Being yourself has limits. If you are always loud, call people "bitch" a lot, are one of those "I'm just being honest" people, or decide to use your "uniqueness" as some sort of commentary on the rest of society - well, keep it to yourself.
Pedophilia - or more specifically giving pedophiles a chance to get help with their psychological problems just like we give people with depression, bipolar, addiction, or schizophrenia a chance. Not labeling every guy who looks at a younger girl a pedophile would be good too. Which means addressing the fact that there's an actual psychological problem these people need help with.
Silence - People feel like they have to fill every moment with noise out of their mouth holes. Just sit and look into someones eyes, sit with them and look off into the distance and let them have their thoughts about the moment and you yours. Watch a sunset, see a movie, have dinner, all in quiet and then maybe right about the experience.
Giving money to panhandlers - I do it every chance I get. I have something someone else can use. If they choose to use it to get high or drunk or just use it as part of their income and they make a good income sitting on the corner begging. I don't care. Because at some point I will give money or food to someone who can actually use it. If I sit around assessing everyone's stories for worthiness then I'll miss out on chances to help people. Plus I always have in the back of my mind that giving freely without question might make someone think about what they are receiving, assuming they're not really in need.
Euthanasia - Don't play what-if games with people's lives or long term suffering. If there isn't a cure today for what they have let them die with dignity at their time of choosing.
Public nudity - We spend a lot of time mentally undressing people and hoping for glimpses of this or that but then get freaked out when thinking about public nudity and seeing people who don't meet some ideal body type. But guess what, that person you love and think is sexy today is going to get older, their body is going to change and go through phases, more wrinkles, more sagging, fatter, skinnier, more hair, less hair, going from ideal to ick over time. So just get over that now.
Women with facial hair (or body hair) - some people just have more hair than others, some women have genetic or biological issues. We make women feel bad for having excess hair or not shaving their legs or armpits but why? I've heard men whine that it seems to manly. It's not manly, it's called being a mammal. When my wife started to worry about her lip hair, which to me was unnoticeable, and waxed I freaked out a little the first time I kissed her because it didn't feel right and I couldn't figure out why. But I know men who cringe like they just saw the most gross thing ever if they see a woman with a beard or some underarm hair. Give the macho crap a rest and take some of the pressure off women.
In God We Trust - I see myself as a Christian of sorts but going counter to society in not feeling the need to have the name of God scrawled on every piece of paper that people wipe their asses on. Nor do I believe that it should be in every oath, on every brick of a government building, or that crosses should be everywhere like they are in our society. I always thought of God as something sacred, private, hidden. That we invoked His name in solitude and contemplation. I just don't get it. Do people think that they're making money more sacred by having God on it? Do they think that when someone slips that dollar bill in someone's G-String that it's the same as sharing the word of God? Or if someone rolls it up to snort some coke maybe they'll see God on there and have an epiphany and be saved? I feel like they diminish God versus promoting Him in the act. So I don't say God in the pledge, most times I don't even say the pledge. My heart already belongs to both, I don't need to jump in with everyone else and prove it.
Not picking a side - I hate the fact that people think that they have to be for or against something. Pro-choice, Pro-life is a good example. Socialism versus Capitalism is another. No Gun Control versus Gun Control. I don't like the idea of abortion (Pro-life) but I refuse to forcefully keep people from committing the act for their own interests (Pro-choice) especially knowing that the child may grow up suffering for it. I can see both sides of the debate and choose to be on both sides or neither depending on the specific issue. Same thing with guns, I like guns myself and see their utility and their enjoyment while simultaneously being frustrated with gun culture, shootings, gun violence and self-inflicted gun deaths. Both sides. But if I say "I believe in stronger gun regulation" then I get lumped into the "he's against the Second Amendment" and if I say people should be allowed to have guns I get lumped in with the NRA and Second Amendment supporters. I hate that black and white conversation.
Talking about race, politics, relationships, religion at work - Many of the people you work with you have long time relationships with. Most you know their personalities, their families, and what they did over the weekend. Many you even have interactions with outside of work. So why pretend and put up artificial boundaries.
Pretending there is a work/life balance or separation - Your life is your work, you work to live, you live to work. you don't suddenly stop being a mother, father, baseball enthusiast, or comic book nerd when you walk through the door of your work, just like you don't stop being a programmer, brick layer, or cook when you walk in the door to your home. You don't stop worrying about what's going on at home. Just like when you get home you don't stop worrying about what's going on at work. I think if people were given more opportunity to express themselves freely then we wouldn't see the burn-out, heart attacks and sometimes rage we see in the workplace or at home. How many times have we all heard about someone getting fired from a job and then taking it out on someone at work, or losing a job and coming home and taking it out on the home. Everyone knew there was trouble. Everyone could remember some frustration or some rumor. But it never got talked about, never got dealt with, and so it just festered until it blew up.
imkookoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:27:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of things, actually!
I could probably list many more. As long as it's not unwantingly hurting anybody, it's fine in my book!
CantHugEveryCat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:46:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Close relatives, like cousins or even siblings having sex with each other. As long as all parties involved are consenting adults, I don't give a crap about who you're having sex with.
clowngirl646 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:)
kilkil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with incest.
Honestly, if you just stick to not having kids, there's nothing actually wrong with it. "Disgusting" does not qualify as a reason to dislike it, which I don't anyway.
clowngirl646 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:)
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking home leftovers. Why is there a stigma against this?!?!
They will be thrown into the trash anyway. They will be wasted. How is waste preferable??!?!
If you are in a college club that perennially orders too much food, be my guest and take it all home when the club meeting is over. If no one else wants it, it is yours.
RNAPII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take home leftovers every time I eat out. I didn't know this was bad.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I take home leftovers every time I eat out. I didn't know this was bad.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:22 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, some idiots believe it is "classless."
They say it is "embarrassing."
CanadianWildlifeDept ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:32:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women being "gross." Three out of three of my steady female partners have scratched themselves, farted, and belched without shame when we're alone together. Only one of them shaves her armpits, none bother with makeup, and they all cuss like sailors. When their noses are clogged, they blow them. When they eat BBQ, they look like something outta Princess Mononoke. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I was raised by a really sweet self-described "Midwestern broad" with a crass, awesome sense of humor, I'm kinda genderbent in the other direction, and I just don't give a shit about people being dainty.
poopcornkernels ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:13:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jfc if I want to look at my phone I'm going to look at my phone.
I know how to be polite. If I'm out with friends/family/work I'll keep my phone away. If it is not an appropriate place to have a phone (movie/wedding/funeral/church?) I will not use it. But I cringe at the thought of some weirdo at The Outback silently seething as my BF and I read reddit while eating a Bloomin Onion. We live together, work together, share a car, and have been together for 8 years. We talk enough, believe me. We enjoy Reddit and generally use it as a conversation starter and we enjoy so many things together. We are fine. Believe me this is ok. He is probably is celebrating the fact I'm NOT talking for a while.
God forbid someone need to use their phone for work or you know... the intended purposes of a device that cost $200 and $100/month that we pretty much all own. This is one of my biggest pet peeves... clearly.
ibetitsaniceidea ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:10:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Various manner things in the train, such as makeup, eating something and speaking with cellphone. I don't care what people are doing.
kevik72 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:38:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The cellphone thing only bothers me if they're being very loud. Like louder than any person should talk on their phone. Or using speakerphone for no reason.
HungryMoose1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, turn your speaker phone off, you're not on a reality TV show, no one wants to hear your conversation.
nursebad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone explain to me why they would have a conversation around a bunch of strangers on speaker? Is it a desperate attempt for attention?
kevik72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It cannot be explained. But I have witnessed it myself on many occasions.
TheSwagganator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get why people use speakerphone. They have the thing loud, but still hold the thing right up in front of their face. When I'm on the phone in public, I talk quieter and less because I don't want others to hear me, let alone the person to whom I'm talking.
justingrbr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
relevant lmao https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGHc29CjDsI
Irememberedmypw ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:42:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The eating one can go from unnoticed to wtf is that smell ?
Jigsus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:29:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cutting your fingernails on the train
shudder
Slayerzorz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone was doing this near me on the train and it made me cringe so bad. They were just clipping them right onto the floor.
ibetitsaniceidea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have never seen people who do this in the train ... but it would be unacceptable.
Why-so-delirious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating things on the train is unacceptable? I don't know train etiquette. I've been on I think one or two in the last decade.
ibetitsaniceidea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe depends on a country? In our country eating something in long seat type train (such as subway) seems not so polite. The train with two pepsons seat type (such as long distance train) is OK, people often have lunchbox meal in that train.
CherryZer0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee, soft drinks, and inoffensive foods are no issue. Cabbage dumplings stink out the train carriage like a stale diaper.
BigAbbott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
makeup?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I once played guitar in the train, it was pretty sweet.
There wasn't anyone on the train, so it made it easier, but still, it was pretty cool.
ibetitsaniceidea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds nice. It's totally unacceptable in our country but I've seen a man who plays a guiter in Europe subway. People totally ignored him but I was watching him because it was interesting and nice playing. Then he came to me and required some tip ...
nuclearkumquat007 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:13:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it's become unacceptable to hold someone accountable. If you have a friend that goes a little too crazy on the weekends or is into some harmful stuff, it's apparently offensive now to call them out on it. I can't count how many times I've heard "It's his life, not yours!", "Mind your own business!", "Why do you care if Tim does Meth and has unprotected butt sex with hookers? That's his choice to make!" Well maybe I care about Tim and don't want him to die of AIDS? Too many people have this idea that every man is an island and it's basically become unacceptable to call someone out on something and keep them accountable for their actions.
cjohnson15 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is alright to ask once but if they tell you to mind your own business then you should, otherwise you will lose your friends because you are constantly judging them. Let them do them.
Samthemannnn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:24:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing in public. They're just words people, get the fuck over it! If you choose to be offended by words, that aren't even directed at you, you're a piece of shit and I hate you.
fluffykitty12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, in a venue of adults, maybe. But like, around kids? That's border line, because who wants to have to explain to their 5 year old what 'fuck' or 'bitch' means, you know?
Samthemannnn ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I thought the gays already beat that argument to the ground. "My choices shouldn't have to revolve around you not wanting to explain something to your kids." And also, why are shoot and darn acceptable? They literally mean the exact same thing, just a couple letters difference.
Edit: Went extra ranty.
Danmarinja ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:35:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs. Never tried most, but I have no problem with them, as long as there's no addiction there.
theblackfool ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:11:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even care if there's addiction as long as they aren't fucking up other people's lives. I'm all for people having the right to fuck up their own life.
instinctblues ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:13:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I see what you're saying, but those with drug addictions often fuck up their family life, if they have a family who cares. All the meth junkies I've met, including family, always tend to fuck over everyone they meet.
bobjoeman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:38:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want people dying.
Tomus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But if it's their decision, and it doesn't affect anyone, what's the harm? Are you also against euthanasia? (Genuine question, not trying to be passive aggressive)
bobjoeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But euthanasia is for a reason, it's suicide. Besides, if they are harmed from drugs, and go to a hospital, that costs money.
kontankarite ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:50:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Decriminalize drugs. Treat addiction like you would any other disease instead of a moral failing.
bakingsoda1212 ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 15:03:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm totally cool with people smoking and I've never smoked a cigarette in my life.
NeonKokkino ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 15:48:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How old are you? Because if you weren't there in the 80's you don't really know what passive smoking means. I remember going to the DMV and not being able to breath because it was OK for public servants to smoke indoors with the window closed.
DooDooBrownz ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:43:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i remember a bar i used to go to swapped out some ceiling tiles after the smoking ban went in effect. OH MY GAWD. also it is nice to not have your clothes reek of smoke every time you went out.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:29:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I loved when that ban went into effect...and I was a smoker then.
DooDooBrownz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i don't miss the 25% chance of getting a nice puff of smoke in the eye when you're trying to light up indoors. searing pain and watery eyes, not cool man when you have a 3ft green mohawk
asderferg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:01:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
even smoking sections of bars nowadays have pretty good ventilation
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:40:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
where are these bars with smoking sections? In my city you're not even allowed to smoke outside on the patio of a bar. Which is kinda dumb, because now all the smokers just loiter on the sidewalk and get in people's way.
the_omega99 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:51:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's what's happened in my city. I can agree with banning indoor smoking, at least where ventilation isn't good, since non-smokers shouldn't have to breath in a ton of second-hand smoke, but the patio bans don't seem so logical.
Andyk123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Vegas you can smoke pretty much anywhere. I think certain counties have "grandfathered in" some older establishments that were kind of based around smoking before the ban went into effect.
My city has a couple "cigar bars" where you can buy cigars and smoke them in there building and while you're having a meal. Plus there's still a lot of hookah lounges
asderferg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Virginia has them, and i know Tennessee has them as well
Jules- ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a smoker, and I refuse to smoke indoors. If I have people coming over, everything is deep cleaned and aired out, doesn't smell like a smoker's home. Then I go outside to smoke.
Same goes for restaurants. Its nasty to try and eat with smoke around, mine included.
aredditgroupthinker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:36:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remember how smoky bars were not that long ago? On a crowded night you couldn't see.
kjbrasda ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And coming home with cigarette burns in your clothes from other people's cigarettes.
Knigar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should come to Japan, most restaurants you can smoke in but have designated areas, sometimes is a piece of glass or the room is completely divided. When I cycle past the pachinko stations, you can smell the smoke coming from inside. I feel sorry for the staff that have to work in those conditions. The rules have improved but I don't think they will ever ban smoking from restaurants/bars etc. The amount of people that smoke in Japan is crazy, wouldn't even like to see the statistics.
Stupid_Ned_Stark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd wager most people on reddit were not around in the 80's.
prozacgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I remember going into pool halls with my father, when I was really young and thank fucking god I was short back then, thick haze everywhere...
sre01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm betting he doesn't remember the fucking haze we all used to have to live in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I miss those days.
folderol ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 20:31:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But now those studies that were done are being applied to every situation in which they don't apply. They banned smoking in public parks in some places. People actually think it's a health risk for them. It makes no sense. You have a right to your health but not to not be offended by smelling a cigarette for a few seconds. They've also banned it in restaurants and public buildings which I think is a great idea.
que_pedo_wey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Banning smoking outside makes no sense whatsoever. For the same reason they might as well ban cars because of the exhaust. I remember the last months of my stay in the US they made the whole campus "smoke-free". The whole campus, including vast outside areas. This is some useless fanaticism. I understand why they would ban it indoors, in bathrooms etc, but outside? Just wondering, as of recently: is it OK to smoke in American city streets?
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Federally? Yes. In all states? Pretty sure. In all cities? Maybe not.
sre01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know why they banned smoking outside? Because the majority of smokers just flick their goddamn cigarette butts wherever, and the rest of us are fucking tired of picking them up.
que_pedo_wey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's littering. They could tell smokers to put the butts in the trash, that's it. They don't ban eating outside just because some people might throw the waste wherever.
sre01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can put up all the signs and ashtrays you want. If you have outside smoking areas, there will be butts laying about.
listix ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:05:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone should be free to pick their own poison. But they shouldn't be free to share it with others who don't want it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've been on both ends of this argument. If I smoke outside and the wind blows smoke in your general direction you could just, y'know, move a meter. It's not that big of a deal.
listix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:32:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a responsibility of both. If I dont like smoking then I wont go to a place that allows smokers or even be in the vicinity. If I smoke I will try to avoid smoking in a place where it might cause discomfort to others. Just enjoy life and let other enjoy life as well while making sure we arent harming others in this process. Seems pretty straight forward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah of course. I am not actively smoking on people just to piss them off. At the bus stop I usually move aside, out of the way of other people if I want a smoke. But fuck me, if it bothers someone that much, if they can still smell it, just walk a bit aside instead of giving me the smoker privilege talk on reddit.
listix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that seems like the sensible way to do.
Nice_Dude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends who was there first
FANGO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could also just, y'know, not smoke. It's not that big of a deal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not the one whining so much about something that is easy to fix by moving. If I have a problem with a situaton I just go and fix it, instead of hoping that the circumstances surrounding of what happened will change for me.
FANGO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, actually, you are. You could move so as not to poison other people, but you don't. You're whining that the other people, who you are making the choice to poison, don't accommodate your choice, which they did not make themselves. It's your responsibility, not theirs.
I mean, I like to drive on sidewalks, it's not my responsibility if people don't get out of my way.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stop strawmanning. I said I am actively trying not to inconvinience people. If you passive-agressively step into the smoke range and then complain about smokers on reddit, then it's your fault. Also: You are here for 8 years, you should have learned by now that the downvote button is not a disagree button.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Speaking of strawmanning.
Oh no! You got downvoted! You're being oppressed! I'm taking away your freedom!
Seriously, this smokers' persecution complex is ridiculous. I understand that addiction has fucked your brain and tries hard to rationalize your behavior by making it seem like everyone is out to get you, but nobody, and I mean actually nobody, is "stepping into your smoke range" just so they can go and complain about it on reddit. That's a completely idiotic thing to believe. And yet, I'm sure that you genuinely believe it, because that's the sort of mental loop that an addicted mind will twist itself into.
And that's why you're being downvoted. Because you are divorced from reality. Good luck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So turn "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" the FUCK off!
waawftutki ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 15:46:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't really apply, it's still socially acceptable to smoke. Just illegal to smoke inside, for obvious reasons, and mildly looked-down upon by most people who watch their health. I think this is exactly how it should be; "smoke if you want, but it's kinda stupid. Also don't smoke inside public spaces."
Twisted_Jesus ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 16:01:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading reddit sometimes one could get the idea that it's completely unacceptable to smoke anywhere but in your remote cabin in the woods hundreds of miles away from anyone.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Well that's a fire hazard. Who is going to save your cabin when you light it on fire.
It's best only to smoke in Antarctica or on the moon.
trikywoo ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:01:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Antarctica? Really?
Are you aware of the effect second hand smoke has on penguins? Why should little penguin babies have to suffer and die for your dirty habit.
Fuck you OP... fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:36:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Second hand smoke can effect tides
DoctorRimJob ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:28:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only tobacco, reddit loves it's weed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only cigarettes, really. Light up a cigar or pipe and all of a sudden you're le distinguished gentleman of refined taste.
bossedverg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:36:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, that's basically what's written on the CDC website
"any level of secondhand smoke can have detrimental effects on health"
ok, breathed too close to a smoker once, bring on the cancer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"any amount of time spent in a car will increase your chance of becoming horribly maimed in an automobile accident."
TheBetaBridgeBandit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:45:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is fucking brutal towards cigarettes and it gets incredibly annoying
FANGO ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
lol? You're kidding right? Or do you have some sort of insane persecution complex? (oh wait, it's the latter)
This is like saying the US government is brutal towards Christians. Get a clue. The very existence of this upvoted comment disproves you. Addiction has fucked your brain into thinking that everyone is against you and that you're fighting for some sort of righteous cause. You're not.
edit: See? reddit is just soooo brutal about cigarettes that they buried your bullshit complaining like they should have. You're such a martyr! Someone give him a medal!
TheBetaBridgeBandit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay bud
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda like weed in Colorado.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While repeatedly flogging yourself and screaming I am not worthy I am dirty I am addiction
JSX13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I'm from the UK and went to San Francisco recently, so I did some digging on here to see if there were any crazy smoking laws (I smoke). Taking only reddit into account, you'd think not only were cigarettes rarer than shiny charizards, if you're seen with one you'd feel the full force of the law. Contrary to this, cigs were 1/3rd of the price and smoking at the kerb was the norm, which is what I do here anyways.
PointClickPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Milwaukee, lots of people even smoked in semi closed bar gardens, something definitely not allowed in IL.
Georgia_Ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a terrible idea! You could burn down the forest!
spqrnbb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless weed is involved.
Rustash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I feel like it should be this way. This shit is directly harmful to the smoker and possibly to those around them. Fuck 'em.
Bookoo995 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:24:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well duh, I mean if you're blowing smoke in people's faces, it's incredibly rude and SHOULD only be done where it won't bother people. For me, the smell of cigarette smoke literally makes me feel like throwing up. Why should I have to suffer from other people's selfish habits?
Not calling all smokers selfish, but if you smoke in a public area with lots of people, then it's incredibly selfish.
Plastonick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you do it close enough to someone else that they can smell it/breathe it in, you are unfairly affecting them.
As for how close is acceptable/legal/moral, that's a different question.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you smoke inside your car I will look at you like you're a disgusting PoS. That stink will be stuck inside your seats for all eternity, not to mention the stain interior.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why do you care so much about some random stranger's car?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it means you are too lazy to take short smoke breaks to keep your things and property clean. You may not notice the stench, but non-smokers will. Even worse when there are cigarette butts and ash in the ash tray, so it feels like the entire car is a moving ash tray. Of course, most people just throw the butt out of the window because they are too cool to clean after themselves. Ugh, so filthy and annoying.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:51:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None of these are reasons why you should care about some random stranger's car.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care about their car. I just immediately assume they are filthy and lazy.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:30:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the tech community in San Francisco is like this..
pomporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even when you just sold your anti-smoking app it's considered wrong to have a celebratory cigarette in the office! How fascist
meme-com-poop ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:41:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your mileage may vary on that one.
dcux ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty relative. And definitely based on location. There are some cities, circles, groups where smoking is seriously looked down upon. And not just the act - the person is judged. But I've visited other cities where it seems like everyone is smoking.
MightyPenguin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do think that some public places and businesses should be allowed to make their own decision on whats allowed, Casinos and Bars clubs should be able to decide if they want to allow smoking or not.
SazzeTF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How bad is second hand smoking? I occasionally smoke (cigarillos with filters mostly) but never really given the second hand smoking a thought.
ucbiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's bad but that applies to like children living in houses that their parents smoke in. It doesn't apply to people walking by and getting a whiff of cigarette
SazzeTF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, i'm talking about like smoking at a bus stop nearby other people. Surely they won't suffer from it?
Loverien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It honestly depends on the person. When I was in my teens, any breath of second-hand smoke was agony for me. My nose instantly shut up, and I would have a minor sore throat. It the exposure was any longer, I'd get a respiratory infection.
This may have been because my parents were both chain smokers (six packs a day, on average, between both of them). So, that exposure could have lowered my resistance.
Now it stills plugs up my nose and makes it hard to breathe, but I can bear it for a few hours at a time. I still instinctively freeze up when I'm walking in public and get a whiff of it. But, as long as people are even the slightest bit considerate, I usually do the same and go out of my way as well to avoid having to react like that around them as well and let them have their space.
If I were at a bus stop with someone smoking, and I wasn't running late, I'd probably just take a short walk away until the next one came.
Though, I think my reaction is definitely in the minority. I don't think most people have ill reactions.
jon_titor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, depends. My city has banned smoking from all walking/bike paths, all parks, within 20 feet of all bus stops, and in a popular walking mall that's full of bars/restaurants/small shops, including the alleyways between and behind buildings. And the ban even extends to vape pens because they don't want children to think that's a safe alternative. It's asinine.
I have friends that work in some of those restaurants/bars that have been hassled by cops for smoking outside by the fucking dumpster in the alley. I and several other people I know just don't even consider going to those bars anymore because God knows we're going to smoke a few cigarettes if we're out having some beers. And the fine for a first time offense is $500. No typo. Five hundred fucking dollars. And we're a town that gets a pretty decent amount of tourists, so it seems like a great way for someone to have their vacation ruined and decide that they're never coming back here to spend money ever again!
waawftutki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so stupid.
The way to reduce usage of a drug is to inform people about it and let them know it's not worth starting, not to impose ridiculous sentences on people who already smoke... Now you just make a bunch of people angry, and it's not going to encourage that many people to just outright stop smoking. If there's a will, there's a way.
I'm okay with it not being allowed in indoors public spaces, but any more than that just makes it unecessarily shitty for smokers, while not being effective enough.
Willzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It shouldn't be illegal inside it should be up to the owners/bartenders to decide
waawftutki ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't agree with that. I would potentially have to stop going to several places I like, and the healthcare cost of all those people suffering the consequences of the smoke would cost us a lot. Not worth it.
twinshk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually went to New York a few weeks ago. I walked around and people were smoking everywhere. No one smokes where I'm from so it was kind of a culture shock.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mildly?
Are we on the same reddit?
Slothnazi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it does. I live in a college campus and I've had people judge me, in front of my face, because I asked for a lighter to light my cig.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Half of these don't apply at all. People are saying silence, being alone, being honest, and tons of other stupid shit that is completely acceptable as if they were socially unacceptable.
ignitexlove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That depends entirely where you live. There are plenty of cities that have banned smoking in public entirely.
whitey-ofwgkta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think smoking is seen as socially unacceptable even though it's quite common. I personally think it's fine you do you but my former smoker of a dad, my girlfriend, and most of my sociology class
Slak44 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:34:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IMO, you shouldn't be able to smoke in any public spaces indoors or otherwise. Just because we're outside it doesn't mean I should have to breathe that fucking smoke.
waawftutki ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:45:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, where are people going to smoke then?
HaphStealth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their houses, going by what Slak44 said.
Slak44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where there aren't people around them.
waawftutki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's basically impossible in a city. You're proposing a ban on smoking, essentially, which is a really bad idea.
Slak44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More or less. But why would it be a bad idea? I don't know any benefits that come from smoking.
waawftutki ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are no benefits indeed, but banning something is extremely ineffective and would cause a lot of problems down the line. Just look at how we treat other drugs. There's also a lot to be said from a more "morality"-based angle, as in, people should be allowed to do what they want if it doesn't affect others negatively. Second hand smoke outside is harmless, although does have an annoying smell, but we can get over it.
imthefooI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You haven't done your research.
https://news.stanford.edu/news/2007/may9/smoking-050907.html
http://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/1205806/
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They said 6ft and over helps quite a bit, which is pretty much the bare minimum for me when smoking outside, even with other smokers. I also think designated areas for smoking in areas with a high concentration of people isn't a bad idea either, but an all-out ban doesn't seem workable.
Loverien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Japan, many areas (particularly at airports) they have small glass boxes people are allowed to smoke in. I didn't see them everywhere, but I saw quite a few.
trikywoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because the point of having a free society is that stuff doesn't get banned just because people don't see the benefit. There should have to be provable health detriment.
I don't think second hand smoke qualifies as a danger when talking about people outside. There's no evidence that shows that second hand smoke in the quantities experienced outdoors has significant negative health impacts.
A pet peeve of mine is when people quote second hand studies done on people living with chain smokers to try and show that they're being harmed by someone smoking near them on a patio. Not the same thing. The amount of second hand smoke you receive when you're outdoors is like a fraction of a percent of what you receive when living with someone who smokes heavily.
icanhe ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have asthma, people walking ahead of me in the street smoking can send me into a coughing fit or full-blown asthma attack. I shouldn't have to pay consequences for other peoples' poor decisions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Loverien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe their trigger is different than what is produced by automobiles? For instance, my college roommates asthma was triggered by pet dander and the like, while mine was only by second-hand smoke or powder based fragrances.
icanhe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You hit the nail on the head...different people have different triggers. I have allergies, I have a dog, all of that is fine. I breathe in cigarette smoke and it's like hitting a damn wall.
Thanks /u/yvanehtnioj_doh for your medical opinion though eye roll
Slak44 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My problem doesn't stem from second hand smoking. It's the smoke itself I don't like, because I literally choke in it. I can't breathe properly in cigarette smoke. Neither can my mother, for instance.
Would this be enough?
trikywoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is outdoor vs. indoor second hand smoke mentioned in there?
imthefooI ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancercauses/tobaccocancer/secondhand-smoke
https://news.stanford.edu/news/2007/may9/smoking-050907.html
http://ehp.niehs.nih.gov/1205806/
K. Done.
trikywoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a mention of indoor vs. outdoor smoking in any of those articles?
imthefooI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The last 2 articles are only about that.
trikywoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Thanks, this is really interesting and I wasn't aware of those studies. It definitely does seem like there's more damage than I thought, but it also seems like once you get outside of a square meter the damage is greatly reduced.
There's also some parts in there that I question. For example:
As a non-smoker that's been to a lot of smokey bars, as well as sat across from smokers on outdoor patios, I have a lot of trouble believing this.
They did a lot of these tests using a little machine that detects carcinogens. I'm wondering (and half suspecting) that they lit a cigarette and placed the detector right in the stream of smoke 18 inches away, which to me would not be very realistic.
Still, definitely more scientific evidence than i thought there was for the negative impacts of outdoor second hand smoke. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
lol-da-mar-s-cool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because its a restriction on a person's personal freedoms, are you against gay marriage and for alcohol prohibition as well?
Slak44 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am in favour of gay marriage and against alcohol prohibition. But these do not directly affect other people. Smoke does. As I said in another comment, I choke in it.
wombat1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:04:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does that even work in people's homes, where smoke detectors are legally mandatory?
waawftutki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoke detectors don't detect cigarette smoke.
bright_yellow_vest ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:49:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In addition, I get so tired of those truth campaign ads. EVERYONE KNOWS SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU! Smoking rates are down, and that's great; but there will always be smokers. Let them have a cigarette if they want to, god damn. "Gotta gotta gotta swipe left. Left swipe that!" Their TV ads are going to give me cancer much faster than any cigarette would. What an incredibly large waste of money.
Nuttin_But_A_Peanut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:09:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To me, the point of those ads is to make someone second guess starting to smoke. It's likely not going to make that person in their 50s who's been smoking for the last 30 years stop smoking. But it might make that 14 year old kid question themselves or their friends for trying cigarettes.
And of course everyone knows that smoking causes cancer. But everyone also knows what Coca-Cola is and you still see their ads everywhere. In both cases, it's a matter of reminding people, be it the dangers of smoking or to grab one soda brand over another.
NanduDas ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate that ad. At least the other ones focus on addiction and the negative health effects of smoking. Kind of a "watch out". That one just says "Hey! Mock these people!"
bright_yellow_vest ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:28:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I forgot about those. Those commercials punish everyone. I'm a non-smoker just sitting there trying to enjoy my lunch, next thing I know these people are showing off their stoma and pulling out their teeth, among other things. Daniel Tosh once said something along the lines of "Everyone knows smoking is bad for you. Quit spending money on those terrible commercials and just give $20 to everyone who doesn't smoke."
NanduDas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I hate pretty much all the anti smoking ads. But although those ones that literally show people tearing out their skin and what not are overdramatized and just going for shock value, they at least are pushing a fact (smoking can lead to skin damage, for example). The "swipe that left" one just says "you deserve to be ostracized and humiliated".
So in conclussion, I hate them all, but I hate that particular one a lot more.
the_number_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's okay to shame me for a life choice that affects my health, then I feel I should be allowed to shame fat people for a life choice that affects their health.
Oh, wait, no? That's not okay, PC Police? Good, then stuff your anti-smoking opinion UP YOUR ASS.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklb ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking affects the health of people around you, being fat doesn't.
AnthonyG23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:30:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insurance.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The funny thing is, there is a much larger (heh) epidemy in the U.S that could use such levels of attention and awareness: obesety.
EarnestQuestion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We tend to be very proud of our right to endlessly consume.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to forget the one guy who swipes left while surrounded by mountains of diabetes-inducing sweets.
I don't know if this is the correct term, but I found it pretty ironic and a little disturbing.
FANGO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then why do so many kids start smoking so early? And older people generally don't? Right, because kids don't apparently know smoking is bad for you. Youth smoking rates have been decreasing as this information has been drilled into their heads. This is a good thing.
bright_yellow_vest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because adults don't smoke to try to be cool or impress their peers.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying if kids know that it's not cool, then they don't smoke? And that's the point of the ads. Which you were just complaining about.
ObeseMoreece ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:02:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate reddit's ridiculous anti-smoking stance. Yes they're bad and can cause cancer but why are you pissed off that someone is?
I've seen someone upvoted for saying he almost punched a guy for smoking in public in New York.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:17:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
baconnmeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for "fart spray"
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picked up 20 butts on the beach the other day, just in the small area I was in, with a bunch of friends who were smoking and swore they're not the type to leave their butts on the beach.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your not gonna die from walking by someone smoking lol
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:59:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How often do you get into a situation where you are forced to stand right besides a smoker and inhale second hand smoke? It's prohibited in buildings and outside you can always step out of the aoe range.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:04:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, as far as I know you can like, move there and breathe fresh air outside of the vicinity of smokers. It's pretty easy actually.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
your not gonna die from walking through smoke and it doesn't just sit there in this massive cloud of smoke. it dissipates rather quickly. it's like telling people they can't talk on their cell phone in public because that annoys you or no loud cars & music
pyro5050 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:11:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am a tobacco reduction counsellor / addictions counsellor, and now a domestic violence counsellor. :)
i honestly do not care if you smoke. but please, for the sake of all of us that do not smoke, please do not smoke under the covered entrances to buildings that we all have to walk through the smoke.
i dont want those chemicals in my body, i do not want to smell like that, and there are clearly posted signs saying no smoking allowed, so why does your convenience trump my health and access to public buildings? you are more than welcome to walk over to the DESIGNATED smoking area, where everyone will be fine.
bossedverg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you'd be surprised how many people walk past designated smoking areas just to cough and hack and try to guild smokers.
especially on college campuses
pyro5050 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
those people are the jerks that give people like me a bad name.
who cares if that guy is wanting to put that into their body? In Canada i always get the argument that "i pay for their healthcare!"
no you really dont... you pay for a portion of their health care, and really, does it fucking matter? are you that much of a bastard that you want to remove others choices to save you $15 over the next three years? you really want to take away their ability to choose?
but smokers need to accept that they cannot take away my ability to choose either, so we compromise. go to the smoking area, and most of the people wont bother you, other than the jerkfaces.
Smoking is bad for you, every smoker i ever met knows this. but they get to choose the active addiction or not. i can help, but it isnt my job to push them towards a choice, that is their choice..
Turtle_78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ideally it should be covered by tax on tobacco products.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In minnesota that pays for new sports stadiums. they justified raising the tax because it costs mn so and so much dollars for uninsured people needing smoking related healthcare then they use that tax increase to pay for a new stadium when the old one was just fine, especially for someone like me who never goes to those damn things
shiningmidnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus as I've said before to friends with the same argument, there are tens of millions of people in the country. If it bugs you that much, think of it this way instead:
Your share went to giving the 5 year-old kid in the OR a blood transfusion. Or the teenager that broke his knee skateboarding. The smokers pay taxes too, not only on tobacco, but the same income tax everybody else pays. It's their share that goes to fixing themselves.
Boom, imaginary problem solved.
josh5676543 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs pathetic but I suppose it stems from the way some anti smoking campaigns try and make it in and of its self immoral witch leads people to get all high and mighty over the fact they donโt do something we all know is unhealthy. Also I think some people who clime they hate the smell donโt rely think itโs the worst smell in the world. Its just that in anti smoking campaigns they use this as one of the ways to make people stop but people by into it that its disgusting when actually its just unhealthy and at worst mildly annoying.
FANGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's illegal, for good reason, and yet nobody enforces it.
thatsabitraven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate it when people smoke near a hospital. They had a designated smoking area but apparently it was too far from the front door. So instead I'm forced to take my asthmatic baby through a cloud of smoke.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the designated area is protected from the elements I'll use those. If not, well Fuck the signs I'm smoking in the least exposed area possible. I'm not going to get drenched just to have a cig 2 hours into my 8 hour shift. Sorry. notfuckingsorry
pyro5050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well then i wont PM you nice thoughts at all! take that!
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks :) I'll take that with a cig if you don't mind.
maranthjrm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We should be friends. All my (female) friends hate me when I start giving them blank stares. They know what I need is a drag.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that people with asthma or other lung conditions can get really sick being around smokers. Smoking isn't common where I live, but when I visit my brothers at college where everyone smokes I get physically ill. My chest aches and I feel nauseous. And second hand smoke is a very real danger. My grandfather didn't smoke a day in his life, but died of lung cancer as a result of being around smokers at work and at home is whole life. Smoking isn't a victim less crime, it hurts the environment and all the people around you.
cmath89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hate when people don't care when they're blowing smoke in someone's face. Like they seem oblivious to what they're doing. I'm a self conscious smoker. Like I'll move out of my way or blow the smoke in the opposite direction just so it doesn't go directly in anyone's face.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:33:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I don't care how much and what you smoke as long as you don't force me to do it with you.
ianthenerd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:00:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I'm fine with smoking, too, as long as I don't have to breath in the smoke constantly being released from your breath, your hair, your clothes, or your house.
Ricketycrick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:52:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't sound like you're fine with smoking, then.
ianthenerd ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh, no, perfectly fine. Just don't go walking around smelling like you've been smoking. That's all I ask. I'm seriously, perfectly fine with it.
I had a priest that smoked, but he was a closet smoker. You wouldn't know it. One day my mom noticed him smoking one day somewhere in or near the parish office. She was surprised, because you'd never know it. He was very careful about it. That's the kind of smoker I admire.
pantofla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with people smoking too, I don't like them smoke too close to me though. Or in a contained space. Definitely not in my home or car.
Zukuni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the smell from smoking though that's why most states make people go outside our to a properly ventilated area now.
wee_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're slowly killing yourself with secondhand smoke.
computerphilosopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I've allergic to cigarette smoke. My whole family smoked as I grew up. I used to get sinus infections and get bed ridden sick multiple times a year. After I moved out and smoking was banned I haven't been sick or had a sinus infection. Unless I'm in an enclosed room with smokers. I'm all about personal freedoms but really like not getting sick all the time because of someone else's shitty cigarette. 2nd hand pot smoke or even crack smoke does not effect me at all or the way cigarette smoke does.
Spear99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you feel like paying to kill you lungs that's your problem. But keep the smell, butts, and smoke as far away from me and especially children as possible please. I shouldn't need to get migraines and second hand smoke because of your self-destructive habit.
turtlepuberty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try being a non-smoker one row away from the smoking section on a plane. I remember. It sucked.
cuppajoe123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't smoke either but i agree. Sometimes the faint smell of cigarettes makes me feel like I'm being social in a social setting, which can be pleasant.
Twizler73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as they do it away from people I'm fine with it.
iamnotarob0t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was up to the age of about 16 (when I started). I've grown up on the cusp of smoking being considered really bad and when the smoking bans came into place in the UK. Now I do smoke I don't do it around people that aren't, just in case they're not cool with it, but I was always fine with it growing up.
PriestlyAxis77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. When they smoke in public, even on outdoor spaces next to people, the smoke makes me feel awful and it's very harmful to other people.
4077 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In 94 I went to Japan and I flew on ANA. 11 hours of smoke. It was horrible. All US airlines were smoke free, but ANA is a Japanese based airline and still allowed smoking.
xxTheGoDxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am cool with it too, but smokers should take care to not do it near other people. I am real tired of people sitting on bus stops or the few chairs at the train station smoking like everybody that don't want to inhale it has to stand up.
demize95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the situation for me. Outside on the street? Sure, go ahead. In your own car, where I'm either not in it or could leave if I wanted? Again, go ahead. In the room next to mine on a no-smoking property? Fuck you with a stick.
Arandompersonisme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, no, no, I have asthma and if i walk in a 15 foot radius near someone smoking I can't breathe, and cough my lungs up. And stay away from the door to a building, respect, I don't care you don't want to walk the extra 12 steps
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:08:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being attracted to women with hairy legs and armpits. An attractive woman with hairy pits is just as attractive as the same woman shaved. Also, being attracted to heavy women. Also, not being particularly attracted to asian women.
It seems like admitting something like that will get you ruthlessly shamed by your peers. There is a lot of pressure for guys to be attracted to a certain formula of woman: thin and completely clean-shaven. Also, for some reason it seems like all white guys have to walk around and talk about what an Asian fetish they have. Oh yes, you have an Asian fetish. Good for you, Jackass.
It's like the only way you can "come out" to your friends as a chubby-chaser is to just start dating heavy women, but you can never, ever talk about it or things will get weird, because they all think back at the comments they've made about big women when they were with you.
ooxo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:36:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Eating with hands.
Where I come from, people eating with their hands is default, so I really didn't knew this being socially frowned upon until I was about 13 earth years old. Now I understand it looks a bit dirty when doing so in public, so I obviously don't do it when in the office or at restaurants. But when I'm home, I don't shy away from the feeling of pure joy that is eating using your fingers.
Eating with hands is THE shiznit. Concentrated Daal + Rice + Butter, เคซเฅเคกเคฃเฅเคเฅ เคชเฅเคณเฅ (Phodnichi Poli) + dahi, Pohe + Pickle are some of the mixtures that'll give you the most satisfaction while eating in such way - but nothing compares to the pure pleasure you will get from eating a mango with your bare hands.
You pierce that soft mango skin with your nails as stream of juice comes jolting out of the puncture... you cannot contain the flow - the only way to stop it from falling to the floor is to put your mouth at it. It's sweet, a bit bitter and mostly orgasmic. You proceed to peel off some skin as the yellow matter beneath it is revealed to you. Don't be greedy, though. Finish the stuff stuck to the peel first, eat the peel if you feel like it. Now you are allowed to put your teeth at it. This is it - your teeth and tongue is now in direct contact with the stuff itself - the insides of your mouth are now filled with rivers of that sweet sweet nector. Should you chew? Should you swallow? You don't know. You don't make the decisions anymore. The sole function your hands now perform is to hold the fruit- your teeth are enough to bite off the peel a little bit more and proceed to devour the rest.
You don't know how, but suddenly you find there is no fleshy part left. But this is not the end.
Your fingers has some on it, don't leave the bits under the nails. The pip you hold is hairy and has a lot of the sap stuck to it. Go on, gnaw at it, bite it off, suckle the essence, let some hair get stuck in your teeth.
Lick it good. Lick it clean.
It's been some hours since you came back to reality. Maybe you're walking. Maybe you're sitting. Maybe you're not thinking about it, but your tongue is absentmindedly visiting every corner of the insides of your mouth... and suddenly it catches a hair, caught between the tight wedge between your teeth. It defiantly resists to come out, but you fight. And you win. And as it comes off though, it brings back the taste... it brings back everything... it brings a smile on your face that nobody watching could understand.
vikocho ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:04:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexiest description of a mango. Ever.
baconfall ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:13:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just had the most awkward mango boner of my life.....
Tirty8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What just happened here???? Your mango tale made me blush.
Pravus_Belua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I respect that you enjoy eating your food with your bare hands, and I wouldn't ask you not to if you were over for a visit, but I just cannot.
When I read, "You pierce that soft mango skin with your nails as stream of juice comes jolting out of the puncture..." the first thing that ran through my mind was just how dirty the underside of our fingernails truly are. Even if they're washed, I don't want my food coming into contact with that.
It's probably irrational, but I just can't. Though I'm particularly fussy when it comes to my food, if I can avoid it I don't touch any of my food barehanded.
thinsoldier ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:54:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Both genders should be equally allowed to create organizations that only hire 1 gender.
For example I recently read an article about a female tv producer who started a production company with offices in the UK and US and from there very beginning she clearly stated her intention to hire only women. She did it and nobody had a problem with it. But if a man tries that today your can imagine all the trouble he'll have.
mnh1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As I recall there was a programming company that did the same, but the equal hiring protections law meant she had to start hiring men, which she did.
I agree that only hiring one gender/race/ethnicity/orientation/religion is just as wrong as excluding them.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'd imagine that it would just reinforce terrible stereotypes, like only hiring women at a school or daycare because people assume men are pedophiles, or only hiring men as politicians because womens' periods make them irrational for one week each month. I'd argue that the hiring gap for things like that should be closed as much as possible.
SenorPuff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:11:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Still, I think folks ought to be allowed to have a formal organization that only allows people they want in it. The few that come to mind are Boy Scouts and The Cavaliers Drum and Bugle Corps. For the longest time they've been all male organizations. Is that really a problem? Nobody's saying that women are worth less than men, they just want a place for boys/men to do their thing.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:21:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that a little different from a company, though? Boyscouts is kind of like a club, just like the Freemasons (which is an all-male group) or fraternities/sororities. With groups like that, it seems like they almost always have a comparable group for the opposite sex. I'd say those are perfectly fine, but companies are a little different.
SenorPuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does it have to be different from a company? Why does making money make that much of a difference?
For example, if Hooters only ever hired female waitresses, is that so wrong? That's their business model. Playgirl only ever hires male models, so what? Why shouldn't they be allowed to make money on that?
Obviously those both go into 'talent based' organizations, but I think the principle still stands. What if I want to have a bar that's entirely people over the age of 35. That's technically ageist. But what if that's the appeal? Folks who want a bar without having rowdy 20 year olds. Or what if I want a place for Latino men to congregate. Why is that so bad?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think gender specific jobs are one thing, but Hooters, for example, probably hires men as chefs or dishwashers or whatever else. However, if you're only hiring women to your daycare or to your law firm, that would be pretty discriminatory.
There's really no reason to only hire a certain "type" of person for most jobs, outside of what is required for the job. There are themed restaurants and businesses, but unless hiring only women or latinos or 25 year olds is crucial to the experience, why should it matter?
SenorPuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's the biggest kicker. Why should I have to defend what I want? It's fine to ask that question of someone in an informal context, but requiring it be answered from a legal perspective is a bit of a burden of proof error, don't you think?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I think you have a point. The thing is, there are places like that. There are plenty of "clubs" that only let specific people through their doors (rich, men, women, certain races, etc.) The thing is, though, unless it's a part of the experience, it's kind of shaky ground. Sure, having female waitstaff is a part of the experience for Hooters (even if it seems silly to me), and having only Asian people working at a, say, Chinese restaurant seems to be part of the experience for a lot of restaurants.
But, it's shaky ground to have an all-men or all-white people staff at a software company or a department store or a school, considering it has nothing to do with the job, you know?
SenorPuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:48:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say shaky ground so much as a dumb deliberate handicap. But I don't think they shouldn't be allowed to handicap themselves, if that makes sense.
Like a lot of things, I think people should be allowed to associate, or not, with whomever they like. And I think that should extend itself into a business context as well. I don't think I should be required to give a contract to a business I don't like just because if I didn't I'd be accused of favoritism or being biased. That same courtesy being extended to hiring of individual employees makes perfect sense.
That said, I think it's beyond stupid to deliberately write off much of the population from working for and with you without a good reason. I just don't think it should be illegal.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I never really thought about it that way; you have a really interesting point of view. Although, it just brings images of segregated America to my mind haha
SenorPuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I draw a pretty firm line between government and private activities. The government shouldn't ever care beyond you being a citizen. All citizens are equal members and should get treated equally.
Private folks, they should be allowed to do what they want as long as they aren't transgressing on another person.
Beyond that I'm a firm federalist. The things of your every day life should be determined by your community, not someone thousands of miles away. Only the things that cross lines need to be adjudicated by an overarching figure. So, if your town wants to say no Walmarts allowed, cool. But if you start hassling other folks to disallow their Walmarts, that's not cool.
DragonFeller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
didn't that turn out horrendously bad though?
thinsoldier ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:56:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but the real problem was that the boss was too polite to fire the 2nd in command and the 2nd in command was too afraid to fire anyone. All the shallow, self centered and petty behaviours described in that article have equivalents in male behavour so I don't think their failure had much to do with their sex.
DragonFeller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may have read a biased account. But it has been a while since I've heard of it.
thinsoldier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1168182/Catfights-handbags-tears-toilets-When-producer-launched-women-TV-company-thought-shed-kissed-goodbye-conflict-.html
BringerOfDestruction ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 13:56:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying.
I think the world would be pretty fucking crazy if no one did it.
dchrisd ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 14:51:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying creates distrust and uncertainty. The world would be a better place if there was much less of it.
IceWindHail ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:38:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty can also do so.
"Will you ever leave me?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Fuck! How can I trust you!"
RenkiDenki ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:06:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd prefer it over "I'll never leave you, you're the only one!"
dchrisd ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:55:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to. Especially if its a stupid question to ask.
Plus, to take it a step further, if the world was more of an honest place, there would be no reason to ask if someone would leave, because there would be more trust in the relationship.
IceWindHail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They do want an answer, it's just that the answer most people want is unreasonable. It's unreasonable to expect someone to be totally interested in being devoted to you while still getting to know you. It's unfair to expect complete unwavering interest from them while you may privately have doubts.
I'm sorry, but if the world was a more honest place, people would tell you that you shouldn't completely trust them, place all your hopes and dreams on them, or completely rely on them. It's pretty common that people break up, move on, or let others down.
dchrisd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:06:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It's an unreasonable question. It's one that shouldn't be asked. A person who asks a question like that is insecure and the fault lies solely on them for asking such a question.
As to the second part, you act like what you're saying is a bad thing. People shouldn't tell you that you should completely trust them, place all your hopes and dreams on them, or completely rely on them if they don't mean it. Giving false hope to someone when you don't mean it is cruel.
Bossmang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thinking through some scenarios I believe that if the world was created on the basis of truth, with no lying ever introduced, that it would likely be the a 'better' world.
However if we just arbitrarily introduced an implicit rule into the human condition of no lying...I think the world would quickly fall into ruin. Especially if we don't change basic human failings such as procrastination with the removal of the lie. Still there would be some interest.
I'd bet lawyers would make a new profession where they concoct the most long winded statement that is completely true but overall tells a misleading statement.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If everyone in the world started telling the truth tomorrow, there would be chaos. And it would be bad. I can only focus on what I think is best to do, and that is to be as honest as I can.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that person has extra information to work off of. If they break up, the world is now a better place. A relationship that shouldn't have existed no longer exists.
mysticreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it is better that they are completely blind-sided later??
The problem isn't honesty in this case, it is lack of communication.
CatholicAlternate ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be okay with a world without lying, so long as you could also "plead the Fifth" and remain silent.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can plead remain silent now. If someone asks your opinion, and you know its going to hurt their feelings, just don't give it. If they persist, say strong to your guns and don't do it. They might be mad, but they'll get over it, and that's a whole lot better than being hurt and letting that pain linger.
CatholicAlternate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's not what I'd use it for. I have no quibbles with hurting someone's feelings whenever necessary or appropriate. It's more for like, if someone asks, "What is your bank account number, your Social Security number, and your passwords for all your accounts ever?" I can just then just ignore them.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about? If someone's asking for private information, just tell them you don't want to give it.
CatholicAlternate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, but that would be a form of silence.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Refusing to answer is not silence. The refusal is your answer. If I ask for your address, and you tell me you don't want to give it to me, you have answered my question by telling me no.
Kranicc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this could be manipulated into lying to some degree, like leading people on to believe something that isn't true by withholding information.
Leftieswillrule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:12:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe less lying, but lying is necessary for a society to persist.
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is only needed because people lie. If people didn't lie, there would be no reason to be untruthful. As the world stands now, the world would be better if people stopped lying. It's easier to build a stronger / closer bond with people who are truthful than people who lie.
Leftieswillrule ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:34:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Honey, do these pants make my butt look fat?"
"Yes."
"Honey, do you find my best friend attractive"
"Yes"
"Honey, does the size of my penis make you less happy about having sex with me?"
"Yes"
"Babe, do you sometimes wish you married that other guy instead of me?"
"Yes"
There a millions of conversations every day in which insecure people are lied to to protect their self-esteem. Lying is easier because it cuts out the bullshit, and more often than not people don't have the time to follow everything up with "but I still find you attractive" or "but I'm glad I picked you" before the other person's feelings are hurt.
It's simply idiotic to make a blanket statement that if everyone stopped lying then the world would be better. What about countries that engage in surveillance and espionage? What about cops who are undercover? What about hospital workers who lie to make their jobs easier?
I'm an EMT and more often than not we lie because telling you the truth will freak you out and make it harder to treat you or exacerbate your condition. Lying is necessary for society to function.
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is the bullshit. It doesn't cut it it out at all, it doesn't help the insecure person, and it certainly doesn't help their self-esteem, because they are still insecure as the lie only gives them a false sense of security. The lie about the pants looking bad doesn't suddenly make the pants look better. The lie about the attractive friend doesn't make them unattractive. Even after you said your lie, they are still going to have their insecurities.
As to cops and countries that engage in surveillance and espionage, heck, maybe you have a point there, but the world, in terms of our interactions with other people, would still be a better place without the lies.
As far as EMT lying, it's not needed, if they're freaking out because of a potentially severed leg, for example, lying and telling them their leg is fine doesn't even need to be said. Letting them know truthfully that you're working as hard as you can to help is much better. And telling them they're fine, when they're not, only makes the pain that much worse when they later realize their leg was lost. You're only delaying the inevitable.
Leftieswillrule ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like someone who has never been in that situation. You're assuming we're lying about how they will be.
Let me tell you a story about one of the paramedics I worked with on my first shift. She picked up a suicidal guy who was checked for weapons before getting loaded on the truck. Suicidal people tend to be pretty dangerous to anyone they perceive as getting in the way of killing themselves, so it was a valid concern. They're in the truck and she's checking on him, getting his info and he keeps asking if they're 5 minutes out from the hospital. She keeps saying no.
Eventually they are 5 minutes out from the hospital, and she discreetly radios in to hospital. The guy asks if they're 5 minutes out and her partner, who is not picking up on the danger of telling this guy the truth, says "yeah". All of a sudden, the suicidal patient pulls out a knife from his mouth where he had been storing it in a little cavity and starts swinging at the medics, and they barely got out before getting hurt.
Some people are nuts, and this suicidal person had some fixation on being 5 minutes out as his cue to start attacking, and had the partner not told the truth, they would be at hospital before the patient decided to start swinging a blade around.
Lying is integral to society because people have different desires and goals and when those goals come into conflict, emotions are often too heated to reach consensus easily. If you think that if everyone stopped lying all of a sudden then life would get better you're sadly deluded.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're right about the EMT situation. I've never been one, nor have I ever been in a situation like that. But, lying wasn't needed in your example. There would be no reason to guess that the suicidal person was fixated on five minutes and because of that there would be no reason to guess that there would be a need to lie about it.
However, even if in your experience as an EMT, that situation could have been avoided by a lie, lying still does more harm than good. As I said in my original post, lying creates distrust, uncertainty, and hurts feelings. Lying is nothing more than a temporary solution to avoid a problem. If you lie to much, you lost credibility, and your word means nothing.
If I'm undergoing long term medical treatment and my doctor keeps giving me some bs line about how I'm getting better when I'm not, when I find out, it only makes the problem worse because I can no longer trust that doctor and lost faith in him. Those temporary good feelings I had before all hurt that much more now because I was lied to. The truth would have hurt at the time, but it wouldn't be as bad with the lies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But some lies are kinda acceptable. White lies for example. If I had a fat suicidal friend and he asked me if he was fat, odds are im gonna lie to him.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that wouldn't be helpful. Your fat suicidial friends knows he's fat and knows you're not being trutful when you tell them otherwise. And will only be hurt more when he later gets more confirmation he's fat. Better option would be to tell them that they aren't as overweight as they think they are, or to offer them help in overcoming the problem. The white lie is a band-aid temporary solution, it doesn't fix the problem; It makes it worse.
baudelairean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sell toupees for a living. Why do you want me to starve?
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see where lying's involved. The person buying the toupe knows they're bald.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that's the thing. Being truthful doesn't mean being wholeheartedly honest since it doesn't require offering information that's not asked for. I wouldn't want to share certain personal information about myself, but that doesn't mean I have to lie to do it. I just don't volunteer to say it. There's a difference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is essential for privacy and secrecy though, it would be impossible to have them without. You can choose not to give certain information to people without them knowing you didn't give it. Sure as others said, you could choose to say "I don't want to tell you that" - but that would already be giving away that you're not comfortable sharing it because it's probably unappealing to them.
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except the majority of lies go undetected and often the truth hurts.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the lies don't go undetected. People aren't as stupid as you think. And the truth may hurt, but its needed since it leads to improvement
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya many of them are that stupid, just dontbgive shitty lies. People benifit from lieing and being lied to, that's a fact so don't pretend it's all evil. We need both our lies and truths to function as a society.
Zukuni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying also creates stability and kindness. We would all be ducked without it. Lying is probably one of the most important things that almost every human does.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stability and kindness? How in the world did you come up with that. Any benefit that might come from lying (if any) only exists because people lie. Lying is a harmful vice. It's the equivalent of saying you should drink after a hangover. If you never got drunk in the first place, you wouldn't need to drink again.
Kranicc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think its more that in certain situations lying can save your butt. Say there was a man who you decided he wanted to kill you justified or not. You tell him a lie that gets him to not want to kill you. Now imagine that on a larger scale and people who are dependent on you being alive. Lies can be good in the proper context, even in an entirely honest world.
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that its good and helpful in certain situation. I just believe that it does more harm than good.
jonmon22 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:56:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, white lies are morally acceptable to me, but everything else I'm not sure I would be okay with.
Gary_FucKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BLACKLIESMATTER
trexarmwrestler ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:08:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Idk. If NOONE ever lied I think people would be a lot less touchy about the truth and everyone would have the best possible lives. Politicians would fulfill promisses, relationships would be honest
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:14:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Feelings would be hurt, lives ruined, matters of national security out in the open...
baumee ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 14:42:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. Being honest doesn't have to mean just blurting things out unnecessarily. Also, it's still possible to keep secrets.
"Hey what was Alicia talking about just now?"
"Sorry, it was private, and I don't feel comfortable sharing someone else's matters."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:51:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a really good point! I didn't think about that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, isn't hiding something considered lying? You can attempt to keep it a secret but the moment an inquiry is made you would have to give it up, otherwise you are hiding or concealing it and that is considered deception. Just being facetious.
baumee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I don't think it is.
If someone's new haircut looks bad, I don't think it's lying to just not say anything unprompted. My silence wouldn't be misleading them into thinking I approved of it, which is really what lying by omission entails. People who would just blurt out, "Wow that doesn't look good on you," often pride themselves on being "honest" and think others just can't handle the truth. Really, they're just dicks. If the person asked me what I thought of their haircut, I'd say that I just wasn't sure it suited them, but if they like it, then rock on.
As for secrets, I think it'd only be lying if you came up with some random excuse as to why you weren't sharing information, or made up another story in its place. By saying you're not comfortable sharing, you're not denying that the conversation took place, nor conveying an untrue reason for being withholding, nor misleading someone as to what it was about.
tl;dr Lying by omission is definitely a thing, but only when it's done intentionally to mislead. You can still withhold without lying.
AllStarPornStar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:18:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn71hYvyqCA
and life sucks if you aren't attractive
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
life already sucks for ugly people.
dchrisd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:52:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Regarding hurt feelings, there's a difference between lying and giving unsolicited opinions. If you can't handle the truth, you shouldn't ask for someone's opinion.
Zaiya53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch The Invention of Lying, it's great! & pretty relevant here!
zudomo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
just read the plot. the movie sucked
obamasgreatesthits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We wouldn't really have a need for Politicians anymore, or lawyers..
domoarigatodrloboto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think no lying would work out on a personal level, but anything professional would be absolutely ruined.
senatorskeletor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, they've studied this and politicians almost always sincerely try to fulfill their promises. They're often blocked from doing it, but they do try.
HitlerIsNotThatBad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they would fulfil promises I think they wouldn't make them.
Ferelar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That or everyone would be honest about shitty situations and lose hope. And hope is very important for us.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a murderer comes to your house asking you "Where is your best friend so I can kill him?", do you lie? Saying nothing means the murderer will kill you, telling the truth means your friend will die, but lying might buy you time to get the police.
That's sort of the classic argument against the categorical imperative. There are times when lying is useful, and some of those times aren't as extreme as avoiding murderers.
I think the bigger issue is solving asymmetry of information. Authority figures and powerful organizations can harm you just by not telling you something. To an extent it is actually useful to keep, say, the voting population ignorant of certain back room dealings--why do you think politics is so messed up nowadays? No opportunity to deal--but I do understand the sentiment.
VulcanCitizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but life would be less fun.
SpiderPigUK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Politicians wouldn't fulfill promises, they just wouldn't make them
StormTheGates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should read City of Truth by James Morrow.
Bossmang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See this part doesn't necessarily carry over 100%. What would change would be the politician's promises. Even with no lies, they could stay statements like, "If you elect me, I will do my best to legalize marijuana and institute socialized healthcare for all". They could define 'their best'.
Additionally, theoretically no one could promise to legalize anything given that it relies on the votes of others, so they could NEVER guarantee it, even if they wanted to in a world with complete truth. At best, they could say something along the lines of "I will campaign hard and push the vote 1% closer to the eventual legalization of X or Y issue".
It'd be like campaigning for a contract in the real world, you low ball everyone to give them something baseline that you are SURE you can do.
sfink06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ever seen The Invention of Lying? Pretty funny stuff but it really does go to show you that the world would be strange if no one ever lied.
imthefooI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean pretty awesome? No crime (or at least less crime because people wouldn't be able to get away with it), politicians fulfilling all promises they make, countries not being able to hide their mistreatment of citizens, and infinitely more.
manipulationcreation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually a movie like this, everyone is truthful and this man "discovers" lies and everyone believes anything he says because they don't think it's possible to be anything but truthful. There's a scene I think where he goes to the bank and is like "I need to take out 10,000$ but I don't have my card with me but there's enough in my account" and they just give him the money, even though in reality he was totally broke. It's an interesting movie.
Kvothealar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to never lie about anything. I feel terrible even if I lie by mistake.
RemoveScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:23 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't masturbate.
dullun ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people are responding by brining up "white lies" to make people feel better (like saying they look good when they don't) but I haven't seen any mention of lying for your own protection, safety, and security, I don't think. I include financial security (like not getting fired) in here too. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, how can you fault someone for lying for those kinds of reason.
(Being queer and mentally ill, I'm pretty familiar with that kind of lie.)
Relevant_Username567 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:57:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone is doing drugs and not hurting anyone. It's not for me but I don't judge.
popemichael ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:40:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ladies shaving armpits or legs.
As I tell my wife, I have no plans on shaving my armpits or legs. I won't ask her to do so either. If she wants to, its for her own sake, not mine.
Adamzey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my girlfriend this at least once a week, and at least once a week she calls me a liar.
popemichael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not 100% sure my wife believes me when I say this or she may think its some sort of fetish.
For me its just a non concern. It doesn't do anything for me sexually either way and I wouldn't hold anyone to anything that I wouldn't do myself.
Adamzey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly the same.
temkofirewing ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:46:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the party but wanted to share: Polygamy. why hate on people loving one another because some people are dicks about it.
TyroneBiggums93 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:45:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Striking a woman if she's hitting you repeatedly.
anxiety23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If this is a regular occurrence maybe you shouldn't be in the same social setting with that person?
TyroneBiggums93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I've never hit a woman. But I don't think it's wrong for an adult human to hit an adult human that is striking them. Yet if you touch a woman, regardless of the context, people lose their shit.
MindSpices ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:24:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public urination. I don't understand the big deal.
I mean, don't do it on the steps of a business or somebodies house. But who cares If I pee onto a tree or into a gutter?
If it's that offensive, at least have a lot of public bathrooms.
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but you need to be careful here. In some states if you're caught urinating in public and a minor is present you can be put on the sex offender registry. Overkill? Absolutely. But you gotta be careful about that stuff in today's world, man. People really over-react.
Also- I love going to the bathroom outside. I love going out into the forest to build a fort and finding a bush and PISSING or SHITTING into the open. I love wiping my ass with ferns, and it's so primal, so HUMAN- I love taking dumps in the woods, where no one can see me. I feel like I'm just another animal, surviving in the forest.
Only downside? Mosquitos on the ass. Oh, and sometimes I'll get piss on my boots, (I'm a chick, small downside), but fuck it, it's NATURE and my boots are waterproof.
10/10 would shit in the woods every day if there weren't so many MOSQUITOS.
caelub166923 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:17:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Strangers asking me intensely personal questions. I'm seriously fine with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with, and actually enjoy, strangers asking me intensely personal questions, because in all likelihood I'll never see them again. I'm not okay with acquaintances asking me intensely personal questions because now people who I may see regularly have information I don't want them to have unless they are close to me. A stranger who will never see me again has no reason to use that information against me, whereas an acquaintance who is in my social circle might.
wiiv ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:16:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People asking me how much money I make. It's not only because I make a good salary, I didn't give a shit when I was broke, either.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
starfirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I don't want to be defined by my income.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:51:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
milkham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it only really matters if there's a big difference between him and the person he's asking. like if they suddenly find out starfirex is rich as hell, that could change things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I would be more uncomfortable discussing my high salary than my low salary.
elsif1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think people tend to do that if it's either way lower or way higher than their own.
starfirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people use income as a measuring stick, sort of to see how everyone lines up. I catch myself doing it, and I wouldn't want it done to me. I prefer to have friendships that are independent of either of our incomes. The longer I know someone, the less difference it makes though.
dchrisd ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 14:59:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at breasts / cleavage. It's one of those things, you aren't supposed to do, but I think its fine. I'm not talking about ogling / making someone uncomfortable, but a look is perfectly ok.
pyro5050 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:09:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i like boobs, ok?
poopcornkernels ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:08:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. I'll regret this comment probably but I'm a 34H and I want you to notice! I mean I'm not tryin to slut it up but if there's a bit of cleavage it's probably intentional. I think most girls would agree? I'd hope. Maybe I am just sluttin it up ๐
ArbitraryPotato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Asorae
ingridelena ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:53:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can't agree personally. I don't dress to flaunt my assets I wear what I like and what's cute regardless of whether it shows cleavage or not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never or most of the time? Isnt there sometimes where you like getting noticed by your sexual features? Most of my female friends told me that if they wear something that is really sexy is usually to attract a guy. Well different strokes for different folks i guess.
ingridelena ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:02:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me personally, no. I'm not looking for relationships, one night stands, or anything of the sort, so Im not interested in that kind of male attention and I'm not personally comfortable with it. Which is funny because I still like clothing that most would probably brand as sexually provocative lol.
Yep its def different strokes. But Im also guessing most of those women do that in specific spaces (like parties, events, clubs, bars etc) and not just on the subway or walking home.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup exactly that.Maybe age has to do with it as well. We were high school seniors when i had that conversation with them. I hope you dont get mad when approached by men. Its already hard for us to approach women and some of us usually judge by clothes if she wants some one to approach her or not(i should also mention that we do this in situations such as you said partys,clubs,etc). But that in your case sounds very annoying, i know id be annoyed if i was in your shoes.
ingridelena ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, as long as they're respectful its not a big deal. Just as I try to respectfully tell them I'm not interested in relationships atm, because I know rejection isnt fun.
the_one_demiurge ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are showing off your tits to look cute, then you want people to look. You can't see yourself without a mirror.
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure but not all cleavage exists because a woman is trying to "show off her tits". Believe it or not you can actually trust women and the things we say. We tend to know what we're thinking a bit more than you :)
the_one_demiurge ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:45:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very little exists that isn't trying to show off tits. My shirts go pretty much up to the neck, and I don't have tits. What's your problem?
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have one Lol. I just know What I like and What looks good on me. And highly necklines are rarely flattering on my body. also don't automatically sexualized breasts or women's bodies. That's your choice not mine ;)
the_one_demiurge ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:49:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Look good on you"? You can't see yourself, so to whom?
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a mirror. And I also wear minimizer bras to make my breasts look smaller, which is funny since people insist that im trying to show off my boobs lmao
the_one_demiurge ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:52 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can't look in a mirror once you leave the house. That argument doesn't wash. We both know who someone is trying to look good for.
You wanna give some to my wife?
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:03 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, there are mirrors and windows outside of everyones house, in cars, and people carry them in purses lol. Besides Okay but we're not discussing whether people want to "look good" or not, we're discussing whether we are flaunting our boobs for attention or not. And if that were the case it wouldnt make a lot of sense for someone to wear a minimizer.
Towelbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Had to Google 34h. Wasn't disappointed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're saying chicks expose that skin because they WANT men to look?? How dare you!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're the hero the internet needs.
omegakill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:45:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me honestly, how many PM's have you got from this message? lol
poopcornkernels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None so far!
double_ewe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:21:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it's actually a good balance of acceptibility, i think.
there's a strong urge to look, and a fairly minor penalty, so it's going to happen. but since it is somewhat frowned upon, people aren't going to be nearly as overt/creepy as they would be if it was totally ok.
cactuscat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I don't notice, I don't care. If I notice staring or more than the occasional glance I'm judging you. I do find it amusing when I catch someone out with a glance and then he looks a tad sheepish.
traveler2121 ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 15:20:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Aaaaaand oftentimes it's those "looks" that make women uncomfortable. We always notice it.
EDIT: I had no idea Reddit was filled of so many sexist douchebags until this comment. I knew it had to come at some point! Try to put yourselves in our shoes for two seconds, fellas.
2ND EDIT: I've never had so many upvotes yet so many people angry with me online! Woooo! I'm signing off though guys, so save your statements for the next neo-feminist you find.
[deleted] ยท 311 points ยท Posted at 15:43:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
m1ldsauce ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:30:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whoa
Dumebuggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's not wrong though.
Georgia_Ball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you use sunglasses, it is really hard to notice.
cyclenaut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
staring at cleavage is like looking at the sun. Too long and you might get burned. However, if you happen to have your sunglasses.... Game on! Just remember to use your peripheral vision!
Georgia_Ball ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't turn your head, you can swivel your eyes.
cyclenaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes, hence my 'peripheral vision' comment!
Georgia_Ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peripheral vision is noticing and understanding things that you aren't focused on, or seeing at a different angle than you are looking, also known as "seeing out of the corner of your eye"
cyclenaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, okay, i guess i used the wrong term.. Ive understood it as keeping your head straight or facing a different direction than your eye is currently looking.
Georgia_Ball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, that is just called moving your eyeballs
cyclenaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noted!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's sad..
Poor_Grammer_Gary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2deep4me
Slothnazi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the people bad at creeping get noticed. If women knew how much I stared at ass/breast, I'm sure they'd think i'm a creep too
smrtblkmn1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This an example of why its important to be open minded. There is a lot out there that we're missing out on, and someone with a different perspective can illuminate a fuller picture.
BEALLOJO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:13:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah.
partialveil ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:31:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I second this. Many guys think girls don't notice but that's only because they pretend not to notice.
traveler2121 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:40:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Which you have to do a lot of the time just to avoid the situation.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 15:56:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't get why some women put on massive cleavage displays and then get mad if they catch you taking a peek.
Edit: I'm not saying that a woman wearing a shirt that shows cleavage is an invitation to be a creep. Not at all. I'm just saying that she shouldn't be surprised/uncomfortable if our eyes dart there quickly and inadvertently. Like let's say a woman walks up wearing a shirt that says "FUCK." She can't get mad at me if my eyes are quickly drawn there for a second before we go about our talk or whatever. Staring at a women's chest, cat calling her, winking, etc. is all harrassment/creepy, but subconsciously looking down at something that biologically catches your attention is hard to prevent.
Asorae ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 16:57:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For a lot of women with larger-than-average breasts, it's actually pretty difficult to find shirts and dresses that don't put on massive cleavage displays without also looking like a shapeless, unflattering muumuu.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:30:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No that's fair, and I'm not saying guys have any right to stare, but sorry if there are some big tits out and we take a quick look by accident. I mean it's like a biological instinct to see who's predispositioned to raise our young. We have social constructs to control it, but under all of that we're just some god damned savages who do our best to hide it.
SenorPuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. You absolutely have every right to look at something in public.
People need thicker skin. If you're in public, you will be seen. It's just the nature of the beast. If you're that sensitive that being seen while in public bothers you, then maybe you need to seek some psychological help for your insecurities.
Now, whether it's morally right to stare, that's a different story. But absolutely it is legally just fine to watch a person who is out in public with no expectation of privacy, at least, here in the states.
ninjette847 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a guy was in a wheel chair would it be ok for you to stare at them? Even if it made them uncomfortable would you say "you're in public, you will be seen. It's just the nature of the beast" It's in public and it's you're right to look at, right?
SenorPuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Legally? Yes. You have a legal right to stare. I can't for the life of me comprehend why they would be staring intently at a wheelchair bound individual, but yes, if you called the cops because someone was staring at you, you'd risk being cited for wasting police resources.
Should you stare at someone? I think you probably have no life if that's the best thing you have to do. But I don't think there's any moral high ground to the position of "you must avert your gaze from me in a public place where I have no expectation of privacy". You accept that you will be seen in public by going out into public. If you don't want to be seen, stay in private.
folderol ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yoourself. You just single-handedly just took a shit on the entire male of the species. Yes we will look. As you said it's nature but we aren't savages for it. Women look too. Would you dare call them savages?
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:07:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, women can be savage too. But you're right, it was a hyperbolic statement that could come off as a crass, but candid way of describing biological impulses.
JuliaGasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for writing this! I agree, it's not okay to stare/be a creep about it. But quick glances happen. I find myself glancing and I don't even notice it until after I do it!
shaneo632 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you need a "right" to stare
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 18:59:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are going to drown, you're so deep right now.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:50:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that valuable contribution to the discussion.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Take your pick. Men are going to look at women. You want something to be flattering but not attract eyes? Seems a bit of a distortion.
three-dog ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:53:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
personally, i never mind a quick glance from someone. i wear low cut shirts usually for one reason only - they make my boobs look good, and i like when other people appreciate that. mostly people just give a quick subtle glance, but i've had guys just straight up unashamedly stare, wink, lick their lips, and make suggestive gestures towards my tits. the people who do that are the ones i hate, not the people who just look.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's wrong, and very off-putting. Can't blame you for that one bit.
folderol ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 20:58:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What makes that wrong exactly? Some guys are more subtle than others. If you want them to notice and appreciate then you take the good with the bad. What's wrong is to expect only some types of guys to appreciate you when you purposely draw attention to your tits.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:03:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean there's a distinct difference between a glance and licking your lips while gesturing about a girl's rack.
folderol ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I already acknowledged that and they are both human behaviors. Nobody was hurt so none of it is "so wrong". For the record at a 44 I have yet to see a guy lick his lips while pointing at a rack. I mean the odds of that are pretty fucking low.
three-dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and in my 20 years i've had it happen several times. sure, it's not that common, but it does happen and it really shouldn't
three-dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
idk, i disagree. i don't think it's wrong to expect to be treated with respect
folderol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:57:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not wrong but if it doesn't happen you just get over it and move on. I am responding to someone who admitted to trying to draw attention to her tits and then it's wrong if someone glowers at those tits and shows disrespect. Nobody owes you or I or her any respect.
three-dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i'm the same person - just cause i have visible cleavage doesn't mean i don't deserve respect, that's all i'm saying
sanjeetsuhag ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:38:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta do it sneaky beaky like.
Acmnin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:31:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta throw a smoke down and defuse that breast.
T-DotTerror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta call in a UAV to scope out the good stuff.
YellowEyedGamer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:00:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I found the CoD player
cactuscat ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:13:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone always says this but what you're forgetting is that breasts aren't removable. I usually keep mine totally covered and I still catch people checking them out from time to time.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's referring to only when women intentionally draw attention to their tee-tas.
folderol ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 21:02:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Evolution's a bitch. Let me ask you this, would you be happy if nobody checked them out ever?
berryer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:32:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I presume it's more comfortable to give them some air sometimes, similar to balls on a muggy day.
Being able to let your balls breathe in public would be awesome, but i get the feeling I'd be uncomfortable if people just stared at them all the time
Tl;dr - maybe it's for comfort, not for show
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:03:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I'm a woman and I do that. I don't know why, but this kind of shit just catches your attention. I mean, honestly, they're just big round balloons of fat hanging from our chests. Just get over it.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:41:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah exactly!
CaesarTheFirst1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:39:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
maybe it's comfortable?
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:31:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By all means wear it, but don't get mad at me for subconsciously looking down at the big tits in my face for a quick second. If a guy is staring with his mouth opened, it's one thing. But you can't get pissed if our eyes dart down for a split second, it's just instinct.
CaesarTheFirst1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:13:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
haha I think you'll be disappointed by my hairy guy boobs. From experience, it's an instinct that can be controlled, and I sympathize enough with them to make the effort to control it.
Obviously if they don't notice it it's fine, I just don't think we should justify it because we encourage perverts to keep being such.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:43:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying to pervertedly stare at all, and I can control my looks very well, but if some girl walks up with a huge display of cleavage, I can't help but to glance down. It's like if a girl came up wearing bright yellow shorts or a shirt that said "FUCK" or something. Your eyes dart there, and then you readjust to your situation.
CaesarTheFirst1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fair enough
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a guy is staring with his mouth open that is instinct too.
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe but you can easily be comfortable without showing cleavage. Even if it's for comfort don't get pissed when a guy notices how comfortable you look.
Thy_Gooch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man this is the worst, especially when you talking to someone face to face and you never know where to look. I always end up looking down or up and if its a chick and I look down now bam! I'm a creeper. And it's always just for a second but they always know
DodgyTurk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like punishing a cat for snapping its around to look at the source of a sudden sound.
traveler2121 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:22:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's other girls who simply have breasts hidden under their t-shirts that don't like getting stared at.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying stare, but biologically as men we have unconscious drivers that cause us to take a quick look when there are boobies out and flying around. Most of us control it, but sorry I can't really help it if I catch a quick peek. Girls would do the same thing if I walked around in spandex outlining my 13" flaccid internet dick
traveler2121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cool, just said there's girls that wear t-shirts that are totally not provocative, but I get what you're saying.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:46:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People stare at attractive people of the opposite set both ways. Women objectify men just as much as men objectify women. Look at movies like Magic Mike. Be a muscular guy walking down a street in a nice fitting t-shirt, and you'll get stared at a lot.
ingridelena ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 20:05:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Entire industries would crumble if objectification of women dissapeared,but if the objectification of men dissapeared nothing would change in society.oh except we would lose magic Mike. You're just so used to women being objectified that it's normal and you notice the opposite more because it's abnormal.
simuhalo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to say you're wrong or anything, but what industries would crumble if women weren't objectified?
ingridelena ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:01:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sex industry would be the first to go (porn, soft porn magazines, strip clubs, prostitution, trafficking if you consider that an industry). Almost every other industry that advertises would probably take a hit since so many companies rely on sexualized images of women to sell their goods. And any entities that rely on using women as props as a selling point would take a hit too.
The opposite would rid us of.magic Mike and thunder down under.
simuhalo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:06:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If men weren't objectifies then wouldn't anything in the sex industry that involves men disappear too?
ingridelena ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with this question is no one is arguing whether men can be objectified or not.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty standard to be objectified if you're an attractive guy too. I have my ass/arms/body grabbed by sexually frustrated cougs at bars probably as much as an attractive girl would get unsolicited dancing at a comparable bar. I'm going off the world in which I live, ymmv in different areas of the world of course, but casual objectification of men by women is laughed off as harmless flattery where I'm from. The girls in my social circle check out hot guys all the time, try and guess what he's packing, ask to feel abs, etc.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's all fine, but I think his/her point is just that this doesn't occur on the scale that objectification of women does. Like they said, entire industries would fail if it were erased from existence.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can only think of one: porn. Advertising would be hurt, but they have humour to fall back on.
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Modeling would be one.
I guess it's more of severely hurting a lot of industries. Movies, tv, ads like you said, music. Those all rely very, very heavily on selling sex.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, that's fair!
ingridelena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this comment is an illusion or I'm just dreaming it or something? Hah! But yeah that's what I'm saying
Kenny__Loggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol do you happen to be high as shit?
folderol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At first I thought you were being reasonable but I'm starting to see that you are a bit of a fucked in the head white knight. You have aloud your thought to become entirely lopsided. You place women on a pedestal.
ingridelena ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:21:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a woman (I kinda thought my username would give that away but apparently not). I also don't agree w women on pedestals and nothing I said above even begins to imply that. I'm saying women 're objectified on more of an institutional ans even subconscious level, despite the fact that men can be objectified as well.
traveler2121 ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 17:48:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Women objectify men just as much as men objectify women"
Leaving this discussion now. Toodles.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:55:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a first-world society? Fuck yeah that's true, who do you talk to?
Banana_Turtle_ ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:56:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a woman though, I agree. Women do objectify the shit out of men. "Oh look at that guy he's so hot!" Comments on nice arms and asses, what size he must be, ect. We aren't a holier then thou gender. We have needs and wants just like men do. Men objectify women, sure, thats true and many look at a girl and see a walking pair of boobs and vagina but you don't think theres a SHIT ton of women out there who see men only as sex objects either? cmon dude, modern feminism has gone too far on this.
Namerok ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:00:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...I'm a 22 year old male and workout a LOT and I personally think I am an attractive man. From my personal experience, everything you said is very true.
Source: Walked down the street the other day in a tank top and it was kind of ridiculous how many girls would stare for an uncomfortable amount of time and say things about my body/physical appearance and not even try to be quiet about it. I mean it's flattering...to a certain point. Then it just gets uncomfortable. Being a socially awkward redditor doesn't help the situation much either...
itsrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See when I want to attract more attention then tank it is. Then tank top then good shirt then normal shirt :)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:14:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for a constructive reply to the comment. It really helped.
EonMon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:52:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you seriously think he's wrong then you shouldn't be here anyway.
ingridelena ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol mte.
folderol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't like being stared at don't go out in public. People are going to stare at other people their whole lives. That isn't going to change. Ignore it.
woozi_11six ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:04:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm going to wear these yoga pants around all day" "OMG!!!1! Why does everyone look at my ass?!"
BitchCallMeGoku ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:28:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most chicks wear yoga pants because they're comfy and work with most outfits.
Source:female
SenorPuff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:19:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you wear them like sweatpants, sure. If you wear them like they're painted on and they're the only threads between your body and the outside air, you're gonna get some looks.
folderol ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sweater_weber ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:34:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they dress in that way because they like the way they look, not because they want people to ogle at them. I mean, maybe I'm being a stupid white knight or whatever, but in my head it's a pretty basic concept.
folderol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:04:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't for one second think that women dress how they do simply to attract themselves. That's it white night bullshit. Do guys go to the gym and get pumped just because they want to look good to themselves. Who is it that's driving the idea that this look is somehow aesthetically pleasing. Believe women have a lot to do with that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:59:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
folderol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:51:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not my words at all.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's a basic concept, and I don't think a woman should be harassed for what she wears at all, I was just pointing out that a quick glance isn't meant to make them uncomfortable, but that's it's often instinctual when we see large things we're naturally attracted to out in the open. That's all, I'm not defending cat calls, no ogling, but just apologizing if my quick glance at something on display that I'm attracted to made the woman unconfortable. It's not meant to make them uncomfortable, it just kind of happens and we move on.
alexds1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:34:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of your replies on this thread are really passive and deflective. If it bothers someone else but it doesn't bother you, and doesn't fall under your view of "harassment" because you've decided to blame it on your biological wiring, then it isn't a problem? Sorry, but that's a lazy excuse. By that argument, it would be okay to punch your coworker in the face for entering your cubicle, because you're biologically wired to defend your territory. Or to openly neglect one of your children because you're biologically wired to want to heap resources on the one most likely to succeed. Thankfully we have a huge portion of our brains that we can use to make our own decisions, such as listen to folks who say "however discreet or harmless you think you're being, this bothers me" and maybe make an attempt to think about and perhaps stop doing that. But maybe you're also biologically wired to block that info out.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:36:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What are you even talking about? You took my context-driven points and stripped them of their context. That's an easy, but irrational way of debating.
itsrain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree with what your saying. Checking someone out is completely fine... But can't go through life without offending someone. The odd person will feel uncomfortable from wandering half second glances. Oh well I personally don't care. I don't see the harm unless your staring on purpose.
Gals check out gals, guys check out guys, gals check out guys and guys check out gals.
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! Thanks for seeing my point! I don't even know how she compared a half-second glance at openly displayed cleavage to punching my coworker, or abandoning my kid. It's asinine.
Valiade ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:04:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As an incredibly hairy man I love wearing short bike shorts. Don't you dare look at my tightly cupped package though, you rapist.
Kvothealar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would also like an answer to this. Wearing obvious cleavage shirts or anything that explicitly makes people look at that area.
One time I read a girls shirt because it had a joke on it then she freaked out at me for looking at her boobs.
Is it a selective thing? They only want some people to look and they just freak out at people they don't like or something?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kvothealar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a girl and speaking honestly? Because that is the answer I expected but the one I really didn't want to hear :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kvothealar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's really annoying. >.<
English999 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This. For. Eternity. Always and forever. Show some cleavage and people are gonna glance. Whip your dick out and everyone loses their mind. Gender inequality is a bitch.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think periods make up for most of the biological inequalities
English999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke. Didn't mean to offend. Here's another funny anecdote and true story. I worked at a summer camp as a climbing instructor. Even in 100 degree weather the men weren't allowed to work without shirts because the women couldn't do the same. How's that for solidarity :)
epicpotatofantasy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. Poe's Law. Impressive on the part of that summer camp.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:09:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Peek"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:59:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sexist douchebag you
iaccidentlytheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right?
Jules- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:17:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have tits, and I don't give a shit when people stare. Its inevitable.
If I get to stare at their tits or ass, why can't they stare at mine?
Kurayamino ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:29:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even something we do consciously. It's like breathing, it just happens.
I'm not even that big on tits, I'm a total ass and legs man, I still look.
pantofla ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, why does it make you uncomfortable? (honest question)
BitchCallMeGoku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me, it makes me feel unsafe. Speaking as a survivor of sexual assault.
pantofla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:56:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry you had to go through this... Yes, it makes sense in your case.
traveler2121 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gay. Men gross me out.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you can't handle people looking at you in public - that's your problem. Get some help.
You're the one that's being sexist here. Not having a certain gender look at you in public is not a reasonable expectation at all. Either you're a troll or you have serious issues.
ingridelena ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not sexist to feel uncomfortable with sexualized male attention. Def not in a world prone to sexual violence and abuse.
traveler2121 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 20:36:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, kinda trolling.
pantofla ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping for a more generic answer but that'll do, I guess...
traveler2121 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Welp.
sleepyj910 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:23:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently you never check out men(or whatever you're attracted to) in any way or form. I mean, in a perfect world we'd all be naked and accepting of our bodies.
It doesn't seem healthy to constantly shame men for being attracted to the female form. There has to be a middle ground. We can control our actions, but forcing us guide our gaze away from you is as Orwellian as forcing women to wear burkas.
Obviously you might be less uncomfortable had the patriarchy and rape culture not exist, and noone was ever hurt because everyone respected each other, but I don't think this is the right battle to fight against that system that hurts everyone and makes this an issue in the first place
traveler2121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've made some valid points.
Skepsis93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine waking down a street and all you see are Ford fiestas, Honda civics, and Volkswagen passats. Then all of a sudden you see a Lamborghini driving down the road. You are obviously going to notice and look at the Lamborghini because it's not something you see everyday and because it looks a whole lot better than the other crap on the road. That's the least sexual metaphor I can think of for this situation. Attractive women naturally catch the eye of men and women alike. Yes, it's impolite to stare, that's one of the first things most children are taught. But I can't help but notice and, to an extent, admire a sexy lady walking down the sidewalk any less than I could avoid noticing a Lamborghini driving down the road.
traveler2121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, good analogy.
Skepsis93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope it helped. I try to avoid staring because I know it's a person with feelings I'm looking at and not a lifeless machine like a car, but it's near impossible to not notice.
traveler2121 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:59:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this. I'm being eaten alive here. I really don't hate men; some of my closest friends and family members are dudes. The staring just gets really old sometimes. I also live in a large city and deal with it at higher volumes, which is probably why I'm so sensitive to it.
dchrisd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:36:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking about a creepy smiley lust filled look, or a stare, or a hey my eyes are up here while talking stare, or anything else over the top, but if its just a look, there's nothing wrong about it.
traveler2121 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess a glance can slide.
dchrisd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:53:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glance is probably a better word.
pcyr9999 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:42:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even look intentionally, but I glance for like a half-second every time they're in the vicinity. I can't help it.
dchrisd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I'm not trying to be creepy, but they're hard not to look at.
No11223456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I wear shorter shorts my thigh muscles are very visible. I've caught countless women staring. I got a glimpse of your everyday life.
PrinceofDementia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Always" sure..
traveler2121 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always notice -.-
Slak44 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:40:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You only remember the times you noticed. You have no memory of the times you didn't notice, simply because you didn't. You can't have perfect awareness.
traveler2121 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 16:41:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's deep.
robot267 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Genuine question why does it make women so uncomfortable
xxTheGoDxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes its hard not to look, but I still succeed most of the time. Exception is when the woman is closed to present her tits, than a not-creepy-stare look is fair game.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who is angry with you? I just looked through all the comments I could find off this post and it looked like every single one, for the most part, was civil at the least.
Did they PM you, or what?
TimRattayGotScrewed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:58 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is that typical self-absorbed female logic. "We're the victims, and I know this because I am a woman and have focused on perceived negative things in my life for my whole life. Put YOURSELF in MY shoes."
The reality is, neither side "puts themselves in the other's shoes" very often. That's because people are inherently selfish.
Here's a suggestion for you: Consider whether or not the male sex drive and mindset is biologically the same as the female sex drive and mindset. If you arrive at the answer, "yes," you are sadly mistaken. So mistaken. You'd be in for the shock of your life if you had to spend one day as a heterosexual male.
pantofla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you're right in front of me. I'm gonna look everything, I can't have question marks on what's where. Or I'll never pay attention to anything else, I'll be distracted because of it.
ANONYMOOSE_111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would appreciate it if people glanced at me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
We do put ourselves in your shoes, and it still makes absolutely no sense. It's 100% fine and socially acceptable for a girl to approach another girl and remark on their breasts, whether it be in envy or simple admiration. Some girls even let other girls touch them without it being a big deal. Then here comes a guy, and he takes a half-second glance at them and goes on with his day doing or saying nothing more, and THAT makes you feel uncomfortable? If girls can openly take notice of other girl's breasts without discrimination, why do guys have to act like trained dogs in public all the time and pretend like they're not even there? Being offended and assuming that we're sexualizing your breasts based on a mere glance is only cementing the idea in our heads that breasts are a sexual thing. Maybe if more girls treated their breasts in a nonchalant way with guys like they do with other girls, we'd sexualize them less.
P.S: Girls also sexualize breasts too.
traveler2121 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:08:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I like boobs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious for your opinion. Do I not have a point?
traveler2121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:28:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This topic is now exhausted for me, but I will try.
I've personally never really known any women that were just okay with other women fondling their breasts in admiration. That sounds like a schoolboy's fantasy as opposed to an actual practice that is normal amongst female friends. Let's say they do, though. It's kind of the same reason why I've seen a few girls let gay guys fondle them--they're not sexually attracted to the breast, so it's "safe." When someone is sexualizing your body, it's a different story. Even if a man is simply "admiring" them, the mere sexual attraction he probably feels is enough to make a woman uncomfortable.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:05:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
traveler2121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate your thorough response and can understand what you're saying, we just aren't going to see eye-to-eye in this situation. I've learned my lesson with expressing my opinion on the internet.
tdt0005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't care. I'm going to look. Dress however you want, but if it's out in plain sight then it's ok for me to look at.
RemoveScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:02 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
right on! can't have it both ways!
TonySoprano420 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:56:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm far from saying showing off is asking to be raped, but it's absolutely asking me to look and admire. If it makes you uncomfortable, cover up.
traveler2121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stated many times in this post that I do cover up, t-shirts all day.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not when I have binoculars.
kelustu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:16:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So don't wear shirts that show cleavage? I don't get it. And no, that's not "sexist" like you say it is. If my friend was bitching that women stare at his bulge, I'd tell him to wear looser pants.
traveler2121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:35:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh, for the 6th time stated in this post, I don't wear any revealing clothing.
kelustu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you made an off topic and irrelevant comment.
traveler2121 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:24:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit police, take me in!
LicenceToBill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:17:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
This is context dependent. If low cut trousers existed which showed off the top half of my dick and bollocks and I went out wearing them then I would expect people to have a little look at them. If you show off cleavage then of course people are going to look at that too. If you don't want anyone to see them then put them away. If someone is leering at your boobs then that's a different matter.
traveler2121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the issue here, is that I don't show off cleavage, ever.
demivisage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dicks (reproductive organs) and breasts (not reproductive organs, even though they're highly sexualized in Western societies) are not equivalent parts. That analogy doesn't work.
LicenceToBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is no male equivalent of mammary glands, so I used another sexualised body part as an example.
demivisage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that, good sir. There is a female equivalent of penises though...which is also not ok to wave around in public.
LicenceToBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless, my point was that if you don't want somebody to look at something, whatever it is, then don't put it on show. If you're not putting your breasts on display and somebody is staring away at them, or if you are displaying them but they're leering at you in a way that they know would make you uncomfortable, then of course that's completely different.
EDIT - Also I don't know how you would "wave around" a vagina.
demivisage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:29:23 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you 'wave around' a vagina (clitoris is what I was referring to, as it's partially external and actually is the closest anatomical analogue of a penis)? Walk while nude below the waist.
Anyway...women are not obliged to wear turtlenecks or high-collared shirts all year round if they don't want to be stared at. The larger a woman's breasts, the more of an issue this is, as a lot of corporate wear for women has low necklines. And dudes will STILL stare even if breasts are fully covered up.
How about the defenders of overt boob-ogling find a way to get their rocks off WITHOUT making it obvious? I'd support that.
TheApuglianKid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:07:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try and cover up if you don't want someone to see
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:17:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like, culturally speaking, people are taking it too far if they're getting offended by where someone else's eyes go. There's a certain point where you have to look at what someone has done that has made you uncomfortable and say "this is just how life is, this is just how people are, it's not worth my time worrying about this". I'm honestly getting worried that we're slipping back into a puritan way of thinking where anyone showing any kind of interest in sex will be looked at funny and maybe even shunned. It should be going the opposite way, where sex is seen as a less personally invasive experience, where someone can look at someone else's cleavage or what have you and it's not seen as an invasion of privacy because sex and sexuality is more open amongst people. Will people in the near future be required by societal pressures to wear blinders to keep from accidentally looking at someone who doesn't consent to it?
I worry about what the ripples of this closed off culture will create, I worry about how it'll change societal views of sex in the future. I don't want us to regress.
PolloLocooo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:27:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it bad if anyone looks? Boobs are just part of the body, too. Also women look at men in no different way. What if you see someone working in the streets without a shirt. Would you not look?
eccentricguru ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:30:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO no you don't always notice it
Passivefistx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:36:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girl goes out wearing blouse that exposes her whole cleavage. Same girl makes post on facebook: "OMG guys r such pervs, they always make me feel uncomfortable."
InvaderChin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:28:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cover up then. No one's judging you for showing some skin, but if you're uncomfortable with people looking your skin and you know you can't stop anyone from looking, why show it?
I don't want people seeing my hairy-ass legs, so I don't wear shorts. If you don't want people seeing your cleavage, don't buy plunging necklines.
The_Realest_Realism ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:14:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you should wear a higher top? I mean if you're wearing a low cut top, I'm getting the idea that you want to be sexually noticed. Not ogled and stared at, but a decent appreciative look to acknowledge that yes, you look fantastic today. If you're wearing a concealing shirt, then I don't make an effort to look at your breasts because it's not what you want. I don't know. I don't feel like I'm very good at this.
dogerwaul ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, cry about it.
folderol ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't go out in public if you don't want anybody looking at you.
traveler2121 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Noted.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It must be really hard knowing that people around you find you attractive
traveler2121 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:29:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you're not attracted to them...it's pretty off-putting. Would you like a sea of older, hairy, creepy men staring at you all day?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly wouldn't care maybe that's because I genuinely don't care how other people perceive me because I'm a sane and self-confidence individual, but I've been in situations where I've been surrounded by groups of older women who have fawned after me, I just generally don't see how its an issue. If I chose to walk around with my ass crack showing I can't get pissed off if people look and stare at my ass crack. Either comes down to one of two things you worried or scared of men or have social anxiety, and both of those are your problem not mine! I could understand being upset by people staring at you and being confused as to why but when you are wearing a revealing outfit and men are staring at you it should be pretty obvious to the conclusion as to why and if you do not enjoy that kind of attention do not dress in a way that is sexually provocative. People should be able to dress however they want by the way I'm just saying people should also be able to look wherever they want, it's almost as if you're trying to police people's vision.
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't understand because you don't know what it's like to be a woman in the world. Simple as that.
traveler2121 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:54:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't care about others' perception either, I'm a married lady and totally comfortable and confident in myself. So that's not an issue. I also neverrr wear revealing clothing, I just get looked at a lot. I have big boobs that I do my best to hide under t-shirts and sweatshirts. I don't have any sort of social anxiety, I am an incredibly friendly and outgoing person. I am a lesbian woman though, so that's where this is stemming from. Men gross me out, and I don't want them in any context looking :(
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK see you admit then that this all stems from a dislike or fear of men. How sad is it that you literally just said men are icky they can't look at me. But I'm curious of is how do you notice these people looking at you are you constantly scanning the room and if so what gave you the right to look at them? Basically all you were saying is that anyone I do not find sexually attractive does not have a right to look at me, grow up I've been followed by a car full of girls yelling out the window at me while I was going for a jog. Unlike you however I didn't cry about it or make it a passive aggressive post online I just went about my day because I don't give a fuck if other people look or think of me however they want to I do not have any right to tell those girls how to think feel look or act.
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After reading your posts it's so hard to figure out why she might find men icky!
traveler2121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I'm having a tough time with all these run-on sentences.
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A glance is one thing. But yeah if you're staring that's not ok.
chemicalcloud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sunglasses, dude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That is a big double standard. If women want to wear shirts that display a lot of cleavage, they have no right to get mad when guys stare at their breasts.
Edit: I am not supporting perverts.
double_ewe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
there's a huge difference between looking and staring. no amount of reasoning is going to make publicly ogling a woman not creepy and obnoxious.
it's like farting in public. it's natural, legal and a lot of people do it. but if you don't make any effort to be discreet, people will know what you're up to and they will think that you're gross.
dchrisd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:50:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what I'm saying though. I'm talking about looking, not staring. No one has the right to stare just because someone is exposing their body.
PBnGiraffe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is the law against staring, again?
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never said there was a law, just that you shouldn't stare.
PBnGiraffe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:21:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stating no one has the "right" to stare implies there is law in place against staring, no?
dchrisd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No it doesn't, especially when this thread is about socially unacceptable things, not laws, and especially since laws were never mentioned in this thread, expect by your assumption.
senatorskeletor ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:45:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The counter I've heard to this is "I shouldn't have to be stared at if I just want to wear a low-cut top."
What I don't get is why is that necessary? I don't have any huge need to wear a low-cut top. Is it different for women? I like wearing shorts in summer, but if people were staring lustily at my gorgeous calf muscles I'd say, "well, it was my decision to dress this way." What am I missing?
tinklewinklewonkle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have big breasts it's really difficult to fully cover them up, even if you want to.
sepseven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
idk my response is that some people (women or men) have anxieties or even trauma that makes them easily upset when it comes to something as simple as being looked at in a sexual way. that's something I think is worth respecting.
NotBarryChuckle ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:55:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's you, though. A woman doesn't wear a low cut top for you; so that you can stare. She does it because she likes how it looks on her, or how comfy it feels. She should be free to wear what she likes without having to wonder whether the guy staring at her chest is going to leave it at that or not.
Gandalfthewite ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:28:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes just because someone is looking at your chest they're gonna rape you, totally. Fucking A dude you suck, you have literally the worst kind of mentality, it is not a crime to look at someone, and it is and should be totally acceptable
CaesarTheFirst1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:39:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Please attack arguments, insulting people makes you look bad and your points invalid.
I agree that someone looking at a girls chest doesn't mean he'll rape her but there are a LOT of sexual attacks on females, just look up the stats. Therefore it's not unreasonable to understand why a girl would feel uncomfortable (I think we have a hard time imagining what it feels like to be physically weaker than people around us and there are a lot of males who abuse that).
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most attacks are not from strangers but within groups of people that know each other.
CaesarTheFirst1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where did anyone in the comment thread disagree or differentiated? All of those apply to strangers and acquaintances.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My bad. I didn't realize we were considering people we know as well. It seemed to me everyone is talking about random people in public spaces.
CaesarTheFirst1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm sorry I just said stuff assuming everyone was thinking of the same situation, although you're right statistically, I think woman would be more scared of strangers.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool. That's definitely an irrational fear that doesn't have stats to support it.
TimRattayGotScrewed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:35 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But but but...I thought rape was about POWER, not SEX? Why would looking at a woman's body have anything to do with rape if rape isn't about sex?
NotBarryChuckle ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you're going to argue, don't be a dick about it. I'm not saying it's a crime to look; I'm saying it's wrong to stare at a woman's chest because of what she wears. What you're saying is "This woman has worn these clothes for me, and she has given me the right to try and look down her top because she hasn't buttoned herself up to the collar."
I'm also not saying everyone who stares is a rapist. Of course not! But it's obvious that women are victims of rape far more often than men - not saying that males can't be victims of rape, or that those victims have suffered any less of a crime; just that women get raped more. Statistics show that roughly 3 in 5 women are sexually assaulted at least once in their life - before you call them liars, picture the five most important women in your life and try to imagine if even three of them would lie about such a thing. Can you blame people for getting jittery if a stranger stares at them with that in mind?
I'm not calling you a rapist for staring at a female, but I'm saying that it implies you feel entitled to enjoy that woman's body, visually at the very least, and when they sense that they'll be worried that you're one of the few who will take it further.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:52:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't get past the first argument. When a man checks out a woman more then 9/10 of the time he's not thinking they dressed that way for him. He's probably thinking damn she's got a wonderful form, i wish my gf had that body, or that shirt. That's it. in a minute they've completely forgotten that you've ever passed in front of their eyeballs. If you seriously believe men are lusting that hard over you then you need to check yourself because you're full of shit.
As for your statistics. They've all been criticized. It's been argued they are over estimating rape against women. Sex crimes against men are laughed at and their victims humiliated for feeling vulnerable. Any stats of men being abused are outliers and are so infrequently/inconsistently reported that it is impossible to compare abused men to women. The courts are significantly biased against men in terms of parenthood sex and consent.
You're making an appeal to emotion after using questionable statistics. I don't take you seriously at all.
30secs2Motherwell ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:30 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irrelevant to the discussion-I hope you're not thinking 'I wish my girlfriend had that body" when you look at hot women.
Skepsis93 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:09:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a man buys himself a porsche, I'm going to stare at it because it's a lot more aesthetically pleasing than a Ford fiesta. If a woman wears a low cut top I'm more likely to stare at her than a woman wearing sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. My eyes are just drawn to both the porsche and low cut top more than their less appealing counterpart, it can't be helped. I know some people buy expensive cars for their personal pleasure, but others buy it because they like to see people oogling over the car. Same with clothing, some women (and men) buy fancy clothes because they like how it makes them feel, others buy it for the attention it brings. Regardless of why you are wearing it, if you (or your car) look fine as hell, it's going to catch my eye and I'm going to admire it for at least a few seconds.
PM_ME_YOUR_PHILLIPS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:56:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, if you're literally staring at my chest and that's all you're looking at, I will get mad and pissed off at you. If it's a glance, whatever, I don't give a fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual Assult =/= Rape
That 3/5 stat, which I'm not even sure is true because you gave no source to back up is grossly distorted by the fact that sexual assault has a very broad definition.
senatorskeletor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:08:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, this was my question. Does it really feel comfy to wear a low-cut top? I don't feel that way at all, and I'm wondering how it's different for women.
As for "how it looks on her," how does this work? Is people looking at her top something she wants, or not?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
draekia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. I totally get why some guys go topless or open shirt. But man the... Erm... Motion would get uncomfortable if I did the same.
washedrope5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
High heels are usually worn to make their legs look more toned and there's no way that's more comfortable
draekia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you forgot the magic heels do for a butt. My partner has a cute booty until she puts on heels, then it looks amazing.
NotBarryChuckle ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on who makes the top and who wears it, if that makes sense.
And I mean as in they like how it makes themselves look. People like clothing that makes themselves think "I really like how this makes my stomach look flat" or someone else say "I love the pattern on your skirt".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or i love those big fat titties!
Turbulator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's hot out, I have a really hard time understanding how a low-cut top is not for someone to look at. Maybe not me, but some good looking guy, sure. The whole "I'm dressing uncomfortably because I like to" shtick is horseshit. It's for someone. Not for everyone, but for guys she wants to attract.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 16:00:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NotBarryChuckle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I said woman as that's the gender I assumed they were talking about, but fair enough; an individual. What's wrong with my last sentence?
pyro5050 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i dont actually know what was wrong with your last sentence, i am not an english major, i understood it, i dont agree with it fully, but i understand that some people are just jerkfaces and cant keep their stupid derogatory things in their brain to themselves. so that is why that last sentence exists... :(
Opie59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? What does that even mean? They were specifically talking about Women.
ingridelena ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because society decided to oversexualize breasts.I didn't make that choice or play any part in it.
amightymapleleaf ยท -38 points ยท Posted at 15:40:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wear a cup then, or else youre asking me to kick you in the crotch everytime you look at my breasts. As a homoflexible female, i dont wear low shirts for you. It's probably hot outside or i look hot. My body is mine- i owe you nothing.
MiscellaneousT ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:35:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly right. You do what you want with your own body: wear a low-cut shirt, or don't.
In return, I will do what I want with my body: stare, or not stare.
Shadowex3 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:51:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because someone else looking at you is totally equivalent to a violent battery that can sterilize or kill people.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:54:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does homoflexible mean? I ask with the greatest amount of respect, I've just never heard the term before and don't trust Urban Dictionary
amightymapleleaf ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are totally fine. I looked it up on Urban Dictionary for the giggles, and it isn't too far off. Basically, I have always loved girls. I am a huge huge lesbo. However I currently have a boyfriend. It took me four years of being incredibly close friends with this guy to get over the "this is a boy. a male boy" thing, but it happened. Basically: "I'm gay, but shit happens." I am not going to let something like gender get in the way if I find a person who makes me feel safe, comfortable, and happy.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:36:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds a lot like being bi with a preference. What's the difference?
amightymapleleaf ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:31:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bisexuals acknowledge attractions to both genders. The difference is that I identified as lesbian before this boy comes along. The idea of men does not excite me. I really have absolutely have no interest in men. As a gender, I am not at all attracted. As a person, my partner caught me and has held me captivated for years as I got over his gender. A bisexual would say "eh, boy, cool" or something. I had to kind of ease myself into it by getting myself used to "being with" a boy because I love him very much. It's honestly really hard to explain because they are pretty close. Does this make more sense?
epicpotatofantasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, but I it would be hard for me to understand any way it's explained. Thanks for trying, though
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:55:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you do kick me in the nuts the next time i glance at your presumably sub standard tits. I'll have you arrested for assault and battery.
amightymapleleaf ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:20:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
<presumably sub standard tits.>
LOL. I've got to tell my boyfriend this joke. Too rich. Feel better about yourself soon xx
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:13:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The guy you kicked in the nuts, abducted, and tied up to a bed in your basement is not your boyfriend.
amightymapleleaf ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:59:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he is more of a fan of tying me up. But nice insult. 1/10 on originality though. :/
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a real gem. I mean that as rudely as possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The upvote critique seem to think differently, and I care for their opinion much more than your salty one.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Youre right. Forgot to value myself based on random Internet guys with handcramps from all their masturbation. Silly me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's some grade-A stereotyping from you, unless you personally know every person who has voted on this thread.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well considering almosy everyone else responding to my post, agreeing with me, is either a female or a male with a boyfriend?
Also i think i can lightly stereotype if yall can call me a fat as fuck cunt with a used and loose vagina. Dont be an arsehole and expect me to be polite no matter what.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Those are just the people who feel strong enough to reply. The voting could come from anyone, of any sex, and you have no idea who they specifically are.
As for the fat as fuck cunt comments, two wrongs do not make a right, and stooping to their level, even if it is a light touch of stooping, puts you in the same arena as them. Hell, I've been looking at this website long enough to say you have 50/50 shot of them being some troll trying to stir the pot with anyone talking about a touchy subject.
amightymapleleaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:21 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I just got sick of the comments. Im really sensitive and, while I was cool for awhile, they got to me. I know, im soft, but I'm human. Ive been taking a lot of shit. Hearing how "sub standard" I am from someone who hasnt seen me was a final straw.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:08 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well I apologize for what I said. One of the things I don't like about the net is how everyone has a mask on their face. They'll say shit they never would in person, because they're protected by that computer screen. They never understand there's an actual human being on the other side of that screen.
It really brings the worst out of some people.
amightymapleleaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:01 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. It's amazing how much that means to me. I apologise too. I agree with you. The Internet allows some really ugly sides to come out of people. I have snapped at very few people of the Internet (at my two old schools I was cyber bullied often) because I always found it incredibly... embarrassing, the balls people grow on the Internet that don't carry out into real life. I had this one guy relentlessly degrade me online, but in real life? I told him to back off from bullying my friend and find something better to do, and he nearly peed himself! This was eigth grade me, so i didny swear or any of that. Internet grants a lot of power.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:37:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
amightymapleleaf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:17:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're a bully behind an Internet screen, don't act as if you have power.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. Maybe. I think i am reversing your logic on you. Maybe i failed. I don't trust you to tell me if i have or not with the shit you've said.
Grimfelion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then be prepared to get bitch slapped when I get off the floor... If a dude walks around with his balls out people will stare. Can I walk up and punch all of them? Men are biologically attracted to women and specifically to their breasts because of cave man thinking and the theoretical ability of a busty woman to be healthy enough to feed my children properly... When a guy looks at your cleavage, most of us aren't claiming you're wearing it for us, but if you're wearing a low cut shirt and you're busty, we'll probably glance and you should probably realize you made that decision to put yourself out there.
FOR THE RECORD I am NOT making the stupid leap that many idiots do that a woman with a low cut top or short skirt is a skank or is inviting harassment or rape. That is stupid flawed logic.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:46:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but as long as I maintain my distance you have no right to do anything to me. You wore it so you should be ready for the response.
amightymapleleaf ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 15:50:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So do you use that rationale to reason with rape? The whole "well she was wearing..." It is fully possible to see the top of boobs and not stare. I was a queer girl in multiple sports. Locker rooms get personal. I never even glanced at a woman's boobs, because it's creepy, i have no right to do it, and it's rude. I would look around if i lost something and obviously see naked women. I never stopped my scan to stare at their chests. Doesnt make sense to me.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:54:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think what he's saying is that you can't respond to a wayward glance with assault and battery.
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think people are a little too quick to forget just how subconsciously we do these things. At the point you've been checking out the tits long enough to notice, you've already been subconsciously doing it. The eyes are looking there because your body knows what it's looking for. That said, having a "proper stare" is completely on you.
mablesyrup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a female and a middle-aged mother, I always get caught by other mothers for checking out their cleavage (like at the PTA meeting at school lol). What can I say? I think cleavage and breasts are sexy as hell, and I often check out other women's.
SilasTheVirous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a study done a while ago that showed both men and women unconsciously checked-out the asses of strangers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like it when I'm wearing a low-cut shirt and people look. It's nice.
smokeytheorange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh if it's not your breasts you don't get to decide if it's okay or not.
ingridelena ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But our bodies are community space duh!
smokeytheorange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently! I didn't know it was cool to do something that made someone else uncomfortable as long as you do it really quickly.
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You didnt? Boys will be boys! They can't control themselves! (But don't say that if you're a woman because then you're sexist and have a low opinion of men)
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because its not mine, doesn't mean I can't look, especially if it's out in public and easily available to look at. And again, I"m not talking about staring, I'm talking about a quick look / glance.
smokeytheorange ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just looking can make people uncomfortable too. I see people looking me up and down sometimes and I hate it. Or even just glancing at my chest.
I'm just saying it's not really your choice if it's acceptable or not because that's not your body. I'm confused as to what's unclear about that.
dchrisd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:00:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that its not my body. And I understand that some people might be uncomfortable by it. I'm just saying that it doesn't make someone a bad person to take a quick glance.
For example, moving away from breasts, imagine two people standing in line near each other. And the one in front, whether they be male or female, attractive or not, is wearing short shorts and they bend over; the person behind is going to look and I don't think there's anything wrong with that if its just a glance.
It's not about violating someone's privacy, invading their personal space, or making them uncomfortable, its just one of those things that happens and its hard not to look at.
the_one_demiurge ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:22:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't own the photons, sweetie.
SaroDarksbane ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For future reference, what other parts of the body can I demand people not look at?
"Uh, if they aren't your eyes, you don't get to decide if you can look at them or not!"
smokeytheorange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because those two body parts are analogous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I see a nice pair of boobs in the street im gonna look. I dont care.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disclaimer: I am apparently a cis/het shitlord but I identify as a feminist.
Dressing in sexy clothing is nice. Looking good makes people feel good. Being noticed for looking good should be a happy thing but some guys just don't have the self control to avoid staring.
That sucks for the ladies because they don't want to feel like sexually objectified by every guy they see. It sucks for us guys too, because that behavior turns us all into Schrodinger's Rapist. Two sides of the same coin as far as I can see.
(I'm open to hearing other perspectives as long as they don't come from anyone who says, "Well she's putting them on display so I can look as much as I want")
dchrisd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:19:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I'm saying only a glance / look is ok. I don't want someone to feel bad for my own gratification, but a quick glance / look shouldn't hurt anyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I notice women who have features my body and brain find appealing. I can't apologize for that. Shit, I notice guys who have features I would like to have. Not apologizing for that, either.
What I can do is just be respectful to everyone I meet. Some woman going to the club doesn't want me staring at her chest any more than an amputee wants me staring at their stump.
I agree with you, by the way. Glancing/noticing is okay. Staring is not okay.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dchrisd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they should be able to wear what they want. And they aren't always "presenting" their cleavage, yes, sometimes its for show, but sometimes its for comfort, and sometimes its just because they like the top.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:06:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot for a second that clothes were for comfort... ^(I have no idea how) ... Thank you, sir.
ingridelena ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you think all cleavage exists because the woman in question wants to advertise then you're sorely.mistaken. but then again I don't automatically sexualize body parts just because they happen to be on a woman.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ingridelena ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you need to reevaluate your OP.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:36:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm... how does everyone else reevaluate their comments? ... Delete!
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:20:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest between consenting adults
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:55:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SHAME
GayGiles ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest itself isn't really the issue. Sex & a relationship are one thing, but it's when kids start being produced that the issues arise.
We talk about this a fair amount in /r/incest.
Brianna-Girl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:18:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The same goes for parents who have genetic issues that they could pass on to the baby. But no, you're not allowed to say that because it's not fair.
When a parent KNOWS they have something like Huntington's Disease and yet they STILL choose to have a child even though it's a 50/50 chance, I can't help but judge, I just think that's unspeakably selfish and evil. They could fucking ADOPT! But they choose not to and potentially inflict this terrible illness on their child.
I have absolutely no issue with incestuous relationships, I'm fully supportive, but I do agree with the reproductive side and that it's not right due to the increased risk of genetic abnormalities.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Zombiecidialfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but in today's society with 7+ billion people we don't really have to worry about the size of the gene pool.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing for old people. If you're 40 and just settling down don't roll the dice on an autistic kid adopt any of the ones looking for a good home free of abuse.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reproduction is something else entirely IMHO because it lowers the gene pool and is outright unhealthy. I would encourage incestious families to adopt a baby instead. Thanks for the subreddit rexommendation, but I am already a regular :P
malicesin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:15:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it's OK to smoke cigarettes in an area, you can burn a joint.
PM_ME_YOUR_PHILLIPS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're with people that don't want to be high, you would get them high.
malicesin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And people that smoke cigs around others expose them to carcinogens that i'm sure they don't want to be exposed to. And unless you are right next to my face, you are not going to get a second hand contact high outdoors. I wish my shit was that stronk.
evileddy ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 14:15:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pointing and laughing at people falling down.
elitegenoside ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:59:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why point? We know what you're laughing at.
evileddy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the exclamation point to the joke!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:35:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind it if it is someone I know well enough, like my family and friends. If you are someone I don't know, you better watch your mouth.
ThatDidntJustHappen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no!
evileddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:43:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy a good fight, that's why I do it.
[deleted] ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 14:49:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll kick your ass if you do. It's already embarrassing, I don't need your shit.
[deleted] ยท 178 points ยท Posted at 16:02:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:32:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:49:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:52:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate it, but I do not need it. Save your money.
CaesarTheFirst1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:45:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you have to be a dick though? Saying I'm embarrassed and would prefer not being laughed at would have gotten people not to do it, threatening and being a jerk will make people not give a shit about what you say.
KRZman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's still funny though. I often find myself laughing when it happens to me as well. The mental image of how it must have looked just cracks me up
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:12:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a disabled/elderly person i don't see a problem.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And why is it a problem then?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nurse by profession and that's just not funny.
Jigsus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and I don't see a problem with beating your ass if you do it.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:33:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can try. :)
kanst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the exact opposite. I am going to be incredibly embarassed either way. I would at least like someone to get a laugh out of my predicament.
TryAgainName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think pointing is a bit far but laughing is basically mandatory.
swiper33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like a sad and insecure person and I'd fight back. Learn to laugh at yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What you need is to figure out how to walk. People who tell people they're going to kick their ass are always the biggest pussies
the_specialone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
that just makes it funnier
wntf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sunny day, sitting in the bus driving home from school. im about to fall asleep and just glare out and observe the people standing at the bus station. there it is, a banana peel just being there on the ground, getting some tan.
after what felt an eternity of watching that woman with about 4 grocery bags in her hands walking towards the station i couldnt believe my eyes. the first time in my life i witnessed how this suicidal fruit has laid someone to the ground so maliciously. i felt so bad for having a grin on my face for at least 5 minutes.
i always thought its a myth that you could actually slip on those.
clickeddaisy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rule #1 make sure they are okay before laughing
evileddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:46:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well... actually.. no. If they get hurt it's funnier.
numberIV ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:43:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of these are dumb rules that nobody questions, but this is just mean. If you think that's ok you're probably an asshole.
evileddy ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!!!!
maranthjrm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You evil bastard
I_smell_like_bacon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down, Nelson.
p3ngwin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"HA! HA!"
evileddy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.nelson-haha.com/
fleshtrombone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nelson?
evileddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are literally dozens of us!
Redbulldildo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is absolutely fine with me, I'm probably laughing by the time you are as well.
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend will point, laugh, and yell "I SAW THAT!"
drakeblood4 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:36:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. As long as you aren't squirting out kids I don't give a shit.
LeaChan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:30 on August 3, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people don't seem to know what incest is. I had a friend who was completely ashamed because he had a crush on his STEP-sister. If there's no blood relation, there's no incest, and even if there is some blood, who cares? My mom won't let me around my cousin because she found an email of mine saying I had a crush on her when I was 13 and she was 10, she said I was an incestuous pervert who should be thrown in jail. Like, really?
shutupgalvao ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:03:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being nude in front of some, not all, people
Night_Marie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I ask someone, "How are you?", I am happy to hear their honest response.
xtrakrispie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking off your hat when you're inside or when the national anthem plays. There seem to be a lot rules like this and none of them seem necessary.
EDIT: now that I remember Carlin did a great bit on this kind of stuff.
littlecatpirate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I think wearing a hat is something I'm completely okay with. I never got why a head accessory is deemed as disrespectful.
evenmoreKUSH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It started out with religious significance, then it became culture.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone ask "hey James how are you doing today?"
I usually respond like "good"
I never really ask how they are doing...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're in Europe, where people usually actually want to know how you're doing.
PsTakuu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Listening with headphones in public (even if the event is music-based)
*I don't have anything against other selections; I live in the midwest and good electronic music is hard to come by. *Local shows where families can go out and listen to rock/country cover bands are awesome; I just imagine that the music in my ears is the commonplace music and everyone is hearing that from the cover band and just enjoying it like I do. I wish the Omaha Symphony played some Markus Schulz or Andrew Bayer every once in a while, but they don't. To see that badass setting with music I love... there isn't many options!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:20:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping soup. It really doesn't bother me as much as it bothers other people. I try not to do it though since I know people hate it. Plus I'm Asian and grew up around it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Telling a server that the food wasn't good. I'm by no means an asshole about it as I understand the server has literally nothing to do with how the food tastes. I just try to be as frank and honest as I can. People will have such a hard time saying anything except "oh it's really good!" even if they literally were just talking about how bad the food was, because they don't want to be the person who complains and sends food back.
Look, everybody knows the server didn't cook the food. They know it. You know it. They know you know it. As long as you don't talk to them like they did, it's not a problem. By complaining about the food you are helping the restaurant. That's why you'll watch a show like Kitchen Nightmares and see a business owner say "our customers love the food!" even as the business is literally collapsing before their eyes. No, your customers are lying to you because they don't want to make their server feel bad. Most people would rather tell you your food is good and then never come back as opposed to giving you honest feedback so you can improve. It happens when hairdressers all the time. People will say "Oh I love it" and never be seen again. Stylists live on regular clientele, and if you don't like how something looks, 9 times out of 10 they can fix it. I have no problem telling my stylist to take a little more off when she thinks she's done. Because that way I can actually like my haircut and go back to her again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating during a class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be loud.
ChrisTaliaferro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women breastfeeding in public.
All you guys that complain about this? You're assholes.
I see a nipple for 2 seconds on my way to lunch, and a child is fed.
WHO IS LOSING HERE?
Olduwan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping when eating ramen, because that's how it's meant to be eaten. You cool down the noodles and catch more soup if you slurp.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Being sexually promiscuous
As long as it's safe, sane, and consensual, and you aren't going behind anyone's back, I see no reason to not have as much sex as possible with as many people as you can find.
You only have 80-ish years in your life, may as well enjoy them.
Wolfie_Ecstasy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat indoors. Seriously, why do we still follow shitty mannerisms from centuries ago?
morphinapg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wanting children. People get so offended, especially your parents.
spleenwinchester ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving kids straight answers about sex and their bodies. When you give a child unambiguous terminology ("this is your penis/vagina, these are the uses, you came out of mom's womb, etc") you give them agency over their bodies. It also creates a situation where they understand what kind of touch is okay and from whom and a clear-cut way to describe what happened if God forbid someone tried to hurt them.
rick5000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating Horse steaks.
MildlyIntriguingGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prying, personal questions. As long as the person prying is also totally open about their personal stuff.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People between age 14-18 having sex. I lost my virginity at 14, my brother lost his at 12. Neither of us are any more fucked up than 80% of the people here on Reddit.
Also vast age gaps, my parents are 19years apart and they make it work.
I say this as 23y/o I'm not some pervy old man who wants to fuck teens I just find it silly how fucked up our age of consent laws are in the u.s.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:53:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
90% of the people in my high school started having sex and doing drugs in sixth grade. A few of them got scholarships to pretty good schools.
fourtwoohme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs, totally ok with it.
anonymous_potato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:54:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting to eat before everyone has gotten served.
Davesnotheree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Referring to someone as fat or describing them as fat. "have you seen so and so?" "who the fat guy? NO." How is it offensive to call someone who's fat, fat? It's like someone calling me a red head it's what I am.
SusieSuze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower
mrnagrom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are people that don't pee in the shower?
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hides
SusieSuze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't for most of my life until one day I just said wtf.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:37:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna be friends?
howsthatwork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Things that are useful or make good sense but are "tacky" just because an outdated etiquette rule says so. Just as an example, I've heard a ridiculous uproar over couples who register for contributions to a honeymoon instead of gifts. Because it's "traditional" to ask for a $100 gravy boat but "money-grubbing" to ask for $100 toward a trip.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is actually becoming more of a standard.
howsthatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:44 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's becoming more common, but it'll be a while before that pearl-clutching aunt everyone has stops bitching about it to all of her friends.
WPchainofLakes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like walking around the city barefooted
Scharute ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Promiscuity.
milknsugar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People being a few minutes late.
Whether I'm meeting with friends or colleagues, it doesn't bother me when someone is late. I'm not the most organized person, so it makes me feel more relaxed, and I always have something to keep my mind occupied. Besides, their being late gives me the early "advantage," if there's something at stake.
joybles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flip flops and jeans wherever you go. Loud kids in public. Spanking kids in public. Nursing in public. Generally imperfect family life in public.
Jobeanie123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about how much money you make.
People get super defensive about it and I completely understand and respect their decision to keep that figure private. However, I've never had an issue with sharing (it's hardly anything to brag about) and I've personally never had a problem with knowing how much someone makes. So you make in one year what I do in ten? Congratulations on being successful, that's cool, but it's not hurting me. I feel no indignance about it. On the other hand, if somebody earns less than me, I might, if anything, feel more inclined to help them out a little when the time comes. Maybe that's the wrong way to think about it, I don't know.
I don't feel like I "deserve a cut" whether I know them or not; they have no obligation to share their money with me, and as such, knowing the amount they make really has no negative impact on me.
It just seems to be such faux pas to talk about personal or family income these days, and it often makes talking with people about purchases (especially big purchases) more difficult than it needs to be.
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty common to talk about how much you make in nyc. Also how much you pay in rent. Shit like that
Jobeanie123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I imagine it varies a lot from area to area. It's not totally unacceptable where I'm at, but it certainly gets mixed reactions.
Rent payments are openly talked about, sure, but not how much you make.
lickbutts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat with my elbows on the table like the savage I am.
Entershikari ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to any strangers I come by, randomly striking conversation every day with everyone
sakkaly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public nudity. It really doesn't bother me anymore.
nekkid_and_famous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most kinks and fetishes. I don't care what gets you off so long as it involves consenting adults. For whatever reason, people feel comfortable enough around me to tell me their secrets and as a result I know people with some pretty unconventional kinks. It's fascinating, how much is out there thanks to the internet. Unless it edges into non-consent or involves minors, I'm not one to judge.
LFTBitchTit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double-dipping for things like fries, wings, etc.
bubonis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Physical retaliation against someone "weaker" than you, most notably fighting back against women or minors. If someone assaults someone larger, older, or stronger than them, I have no problem with that person wiping the floor with their attacker.
RespublicaCuriae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating at a restaurant by myself. (It's a serious taboo to eat alone at a restaurant in Korea.)
strokesfan91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
standing up straight. sometimes slouching is just more comfortable
Mchailas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking off your shoes off at work/putting your feet on things like a chair.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking how much I make. I don't give a shit, I'll tell you how fuckin poor I am.
Blackpugs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bringing a dog in a grocery store. It's ok in Europe!
Ialwayssleep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:59:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Child labor
Lyeta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:59:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being in a long term relationship without being married.
You know what, we're not god fearing, we don't have children, it doesn't make a difference tax wise. We don't want to deal with the insanity that is the wedding industrial complex. We don't need to get married to demonstrate commitment. We've been together longer than most married couples we know. We have a lease and furniture. We have a dog. We know where we stand.
But to most of the surrounding world, my relationship is less 'real' or 'permanent' than someone who gets married after knowing someone for six months.
Shioui ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going out alone. Drinking alone. Smoking a whole bowl alone. Going out to dinner alone....
i have no friends
MyNameIsCatbug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reading this as I sit at a bar watching a soccer game by myself. Don't feel bad bud
Pluckyducky01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:12:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. It's just boobs people. Moms shouldn't have to feed their kids in hot cars or bathrooms.
Koalafisher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:14:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing. So many words in the English language and apparently like 15 of them are bad? If you can't handle swearing, stay at home.
moonman1989 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word 'CUNT' Love it, most versatile word ever.
Sup Cunts?
tscongack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Turning left on a red light when no one is there; going through a red light when there is no risk of getting caught or accident.
JCrusty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We already do that in Ohio
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitting a woman in the face.
If you attack someone they have a right to defend themselves, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman.
Equality How does it work?
noisyturtle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people who do their jobs poorly that they are doing their jobs poorly. If I'm on a team and one person thinks they can skate by because I'm an overachiever, you're goddamn right I'm going to call them out on it and see that they correct the issue. Real life's not college, and you cannot expect to get carried through your professional career, or to have your bosses commend you for doing the bare minimum.
I see this shit all the time in early 20 somethings, thinking they are special and above the requirements that everyone else on their team meets daily. Those people get fired real fast.
alemaron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:24:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
leaving the toilet seat up. literally couldn't care less. i'm female and don't understand why so many women get upset when men leave the toilet seat up.
Rhuey13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going ANYWHERE barefoot. Why the fuck does it matter? My feet are as dirty as your shoes and I can wipe them off on a mat too.
SecxyBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being honest to the point of rudeness. I can handle people being a jerk or not liking others points of view. I can't stand people playing nice or fake agreement.
lunalives ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:32:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving without saying goodbye to everyone at a party. Nothing drives me more insane than deciding to leave with a twenty minute lag time that includes the following:
-The Leftovers Dealer: "Let me just pack some of these potatoes for you!"
-The Social Director: "Oh hey, we're hanging out tomorrow right? Can we push that to noon? My cat's eyebrow waxing might run late."
-The Nosy Susan: "Oh if you're in the cat wax neighborhood, would you guys mind picking me up those catnip wax strips my Mitzi likes?"
And
-The Eulogist: "Lunalives, I just want to say I'm so happy to see you - it's been so long. Last time was Will's birthday when we were holding his hair back and I just thought you were the best friend [...] I wish we saw each other more, why don't we?"
This. This is why.
Jackyl9999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The female nipple.
Soulsie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food after it falls on the floor.
2dark4u ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying n***er in a non derogatory or racist way. It has turned into such a widely used term, and I am of the belief that using words this way strips them of their bad uses. I dream of a day that it stops being a bad thing and becomes just another way to say; mate, friend, chum.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In NYC, it is considered unacceptable for a teacher to touch a student. Ever.
If they are being a brat and block your way and refuse to let you pass, you can't lightly pick them up or lightly push them aside.
That is total fucking bullshit.
Sometimes you need to touch a kid. You just do!
samwisevimes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And out of context quoting begins in 3...2...1...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PDA. go for it. human affection is one of the only joys in life.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bronypilgrim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could not agree more
KGman1267 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
breast feeding in public.
schizokid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Psilocybin mushrooms. They offer the most enjoyable high, have absolutely no hangover, are not addictive, and are nearly impossible to overdose from, not to mention if they were legal it would be literally as cheap as dirt. I have also read studies that suggest they may be less neurotoxic than prescription SSRI's. I mean its crazy they are illegal. Furthermore still, you don't even need to take that much a single gram or two is enough to get a nice long lasting high without visual hallucinations, its extremely pleasant in low doses, and can be prepared as you would tea or eaten with chocolate with little to no taste.
Risktobloom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. Who cares? Everyone is a consenting adult, no one is getting hurt. Why not?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly
Luves2spooge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying 'bless you' after sneezing. Seriously, it's totally pointless.
gfjq23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:27:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. Not the crazy religious thing were old men marry 10-year-olds, but between consenting adults I really don't care. I'm not polyamorous myself, but if you are and want to be with or marry multiple partners you are A-OK in my book.
TheSeanOfAllTime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:28:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hearing food or drink chewing/slurping over the radio or in headphones is by far 100000x worse than hearing it aloud in person, something about it being amplified and blasted into your ear makes my fucking skin crawl.
raptorreid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Body hair on females...I'm glad it's seeming (at least in social network land) to be becoming more socially acceptable in the US, and I hope it continues and grows (pun kind of intended). If you want to shave, or wax, or whatever, by all means, do it! But it's disgusting how often I hear of guys demonizing gals for having armpit hair or what not...
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It really is sad. I just shave my armpit so it cuts down on the sweat smell, but I never keep it clean shaven, I let it grow until I notice the hair is getting slightly thick and then I shave it again.
raptorreid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Completely fair and understandable reason...I had a guy tell me once that he would break up with his girlfriend if she grew her armpit hair out...while I was sitting with my hairy pitted GF...He wasn't directing it at us/her, and she didn't hear him say it, but I took him aside to call him out/talk to him about it. He genuinely seemed to understand what I was saying, and hopefully it got him to think about some things...but ugggghhh
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow. I really hope he thought more about what he said, and maybe changed his mind on it later. Glad you called him out, so he could know how you felt! :D
podocks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping, farting, sneezing or blowing your nose in front of people. These are natural bodily functions, grow the fuck up you prude.
lordhellion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking. I don't do it, but if we're to believe that adults are free-thinking and capable of making their own decisions, they need to be allowed to do as they wish.
Plus, smokers look cooler.
MattxAus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Standing in the middle of an escalator, instead of to the side, allowing people to walk up and past you.
Just kidding. I hope you fall down from the top, endlessly.
gaijindash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Japan its a social rule that one side the the escalator is for standing and one is for running, youd love it here
MattxAus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a social expectation here in Melbourne as well, we just have many unpleasant people who stand in the middle, stand by their friends and block the path, or just have bags sticking out, such that when you run past and knock the bag, they get huffy.
emmaensign ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing a bra, talking openly about my health issues and normal bodily functions like menstruation and pooping.
virginiajeannemarie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women not shaving and not wearing a bra
PenPenGuin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really couldn't give a shit about who marries who - as long as the parties are legally able to give their consent and there's no weird tax or other legal shenanigans being pulled. If those requirements are met, as far as I'm concerned, you can have a husband, a wife, or six of each, if you are so inclined.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I can't think of many occasions where I thought someone was under-dressed.
Who cares if you iron a collar? Wear a black t shirt to a job interview it doesn't matter. Wear sandals, who gives a fuck.
I would absolutely not be bothered if Obama held a press conference on a hot day in sandals, a button-down short sleeve and cargo shorts
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That totally depends on the job interview. If you wouldn't wear it in the workplace, don't wear it to the interview.
coldermilk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laughing at a funeral. Things never need to be so stoic, note to future mourners, when I am dead you have my full permission to have a blast in front of my corpse. I never went through life seriously, why force people to feel sad? They should look back at my life with happiness
Level21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about religion.
Johnbob023 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing white after Labor Day
CosmicAnus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:56 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do people actually still get mad about this?
coldermilk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling someone you feel depressed or that you may need psychiatric help. No one fully understands the human brain and suicide is such a real tangible problem that it saddens me that no one wants to talk speak openly about that sort of thing.
A mental ailment can be just as dangerous as a physical one. It is brave to acknowledge that and seek help.
Profbitcornn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not showering
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:00:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Referring to someone in a politically incorrect way without actually trying to be offensive.
I was at a cousin's daughter's high school graduation party a few weeks ago when in the course of conversation I mentioned the name "Bruce Jenner". It was practically a scene out of a movie with the music stopping, everyone turning to look at me, and a pretentious 18-year old bitch lecturing me on how offensive I was.
I've been a fan of Jenner long before his step daughter rocketed to stardom by getting fucked on a sex tape by a C-list rapper. Throughout that entire time this person was referred to as Bruce. I understand she goes by Caitlyn now but after several decades of saying "him", "he" or "Bruce" it's going to take me a little while before I instinctively use "her", "she". or "Caitlyn".
I clearly wasn't belittling her so I think the polite response would have been to simply ignore the slip up but if you're hell bent on rectifying the mistake then I think a simple "obviously you mean Caitlyn" would have been acceptable to which I would have said a simple "yeah, of course" then continued on with my life.
If a person isn't trying to be a dick and just made a simple terminology mistake then let it go.
MattxAus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling someone they look tired.
"Are you alright? You look tired."
No, I am not calling you ugly or improperly dressed/made-up, I am inquiring as to your well-being, as I am somewhat, to very, concerned about your health, as a colleague/friend/pal/arch-nemesis.
amberdus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:07:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people mention another person's skin colour to describe them.
Apparently that's unacceptable, but like, that's what they look like. Here's an example. One time I was working at Home Depot and I got a call from the front staff saying someone needed a hand in the seasonal department. I asked what the person looked like and I got, "Uhh he's a guy...kinda tall...wearing like a uhh brownish jacket, and uhh bald." All nervous-like. I get to seasonal and there's a 6'5", shaved head, black-as-night guy, looking for help. My point is, you really couldn't just say: "He's the only 6'5" black guy in the store,"? I don't give a shit what colour you are, but don't purposely leave that out when describing someone to be "socially acceptable."
nilok1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An even better example of this mental condition happened at my old job. I worked at a not-for-profit which had a lot of progressive-types (not a good thing or a bad thing) working there.
Our annual fundraiser was a public event of about 20,000 people. There's a team dedicated to reuniting families b/c with this many people kids always get separated. The team all have walkie-talkies. They fan out and always find the kids.
One time the call went out to find a kid who was "a nine year old boy who was not white." repeatedly the team asked the dispatcher if he was black. The dispatcher kept describing him as "not white"
So, here you had a person in charge of describing the lost kid and felt it was improper to include the actual color of the kid but felt it was preferable to say what he wasn't.
This is wrong on many levels. Not white could be black, Hispanic, whatever. Now even the most PC person in the world would have to concede this is a special level of stupid.
amberdus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:29 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol, the worst!
It sucks that we can't simply describe a person without fearing a repercussion. Especially when "not white" describes literally more of the world than "white" does.
shonuph ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping out on family events. It's not like it's torture, but sometimes I just don't feel like going, and that's enough for me to not go.
garysaidiebbandflow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:28:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not shaving my legs. Not a pretty sight, but I don't care anymore.
ftb_helper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend having sex with other people. I don't mind if my girlfriend wants to get screwed by another person. To me, it's only sex. At the end of the day, we'll be together since I know she loves me. If she leaves me for another guy, well it's good I found out sooner rather than later that she can't resist temptation.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you.
regardsjohn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I walk inside other peoples houses without knocking.
Sanhael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I knock while walking around inside other peoples' houses.
johnnybravo1014 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. Seriously I've never understood why this is such a big deal. Everybody has a penis or vagina get the fuck over it.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:54:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aborting a child who has Down's Syndrome or some other disorder like that.
It's the best solution.
dietcokeandwater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Napping. It's fucking glorious, don't judge me for enjoying the simple things in life.
nonconsensualcuddlin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy, if the parties involved are aware and accepting of each other's relationships then what's the big deal?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely.
binary10110 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:35:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a man, thinking kids are adorable.
It's socially acceptable for my wife to openly talk about how cute a kid is (even to the parent), but as a man I can't even look in the general direction of a child without catching evil looks.
lizrdgizrd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a problem sometimes too. A man should be able to acknowledge how cute some kid is without being made to feel like a potential pedophile. Most of my friends with or without kids are fine with it but I see it more often with acquaintances or strangers. Too little trust.
Side_Swipe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:14:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having my girlfriend pay for her meal, or even treat me out to eat.
mcmlxiv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:26:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannabis in public.
UK based, but I have zero problems with it whatsoever. Smoked a metric fuckton of weed (roughly), whilst at uni and have toned it waaaaay back since leaving but I honestly couldn't care less. Usually it signals that someone's about to have a nice chillout or a right laugh. Whatever the outcome, I usually find it non-violent and easy to deal with.
Plus, what with it becoming a 'socially accepted' drug (sort of), I don't see any harm in it being smoked in public. We used to hit up parks and just chill with notepads and creative things so we could work and be outside. Never bothered by others, not once. My ONLY stipulation is that if you smoke, weed, cigarettes, whatever, you make a conscious effort to keep it as far away from kids as possible. It's no avoidable all the time, but if you can, do.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:48:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping and farting.
jonnyopinion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:53:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm with you on that one. Both are satisfying and hilarious, we all know it, but some people pretend to find them rude or disgusting.
Justjack2001 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:53:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food off the ground. Unless it fell directly in a pile of shit, it's fine.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
uberchristopher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:11:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a dude, talking about periods.
dangerman1231 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pot
dripless_cactus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:53:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not smiling and others not smiling. Seriously we can't be happy all the time, so shut up about my facial expression.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Atheism. It shouldn't be a big deal to say "I don't believe in God."
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Single mothers.
If the dad divorced you/abandoned you and left the kids, you should be PRAISED for keeping the child and raising it on one person's salary.
That dick abandoned his own child. A horrible thing to do. You didn't. You didn't dump it on the grandparents. You didn't dump it on the aunts and uncles. You didn't dump it in foster care. You didn't adopt it out. You took responsibility. You cared for the kid.
You are the hero in the situation.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating dog meat.
Our culture euthanizes millions upon millions of dogs. Their bodies are dumped into the trash and left to rot. Either that or cremated.
These people also kill dogs. But they at least make good use of the bodies. At least the bodies are used to help humans and bring pleasure into the lives of humans.
Their method is vastly preferable to our own.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I don't think people are going to want to eat a lot of the dogs that are out down. Yes, they put down healthy dogs but there would have to be standards for how he dog was raised via the FDA before you just start serving dog meat. That would mean dog farms, which I'm not okay with.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:15 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The prejudice against eating dogs is just that- a prejudice.
It isn't logical at all. It is not based on reason.
We eat pigs all the time and pigs are MUCH smarter than dogs are.
We kill perfectly healthy dogs all the time- so why not at least get some fun out of it?
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:37 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the regulations involved in selling the meat.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:41 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So regulate it. And sell it.
If people want to buy it, hell, it is their money. Let them.
That's what the free market is all about.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:41 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So regulate it. And sell it.
If people want to buy it, hell, it is their money. Let them.
That's what the free market is all about.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:03 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To regulate it would mean they would have to farm them.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:49 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Go ahead.
What's the problem with that?
We have puppy mills as it is.
How could this be crueler?!
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:51 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It wouldn't be crueler. But you can't really grow a few chickens raise them and sell them to a store. You can sell them to other people for cash the same way you sell a dog.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:44 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't follow.
What's the difference??!
LimberTito ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:21 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing hats indoors.
whoatethekidsthen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:58:36 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not socially unacceptable per se but here goes
I have a severe stutter that at times makes speaking impossible. So I learned ASL to better communicate when speaking is impossible.
A friend of a friend is totally deaf, from birth, and when he discovered I used ASL but could hear, he and a bunch of his friends who are deaf confronted me about appropriating deaf culture, how I can't use ASL and blah blah blah.
Fuck them, I still do it. Sometimes I can't speak so well and if I can communicate with my friends via ASL I'm gonna do it and the deaf community can lick my stuttering ass
part-time-unicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:50 on September 6, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... how do they expect to communicate with the non-deaf if they dont want them to use ASL? also, that is a brilliant way to deal with that issue
KrayC23 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:46:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay if someone makes a statement in a manner that isn't politically correct. Speaking ONLY on my behalf, I don't mind if someone is not politically correct because sometimes really tough subjects aren't available for open discussion for fear of impacting social relationships. Race, socioeconomic status, values, beliefs, etc. are topics that are effected by this. Sure I might not agree with hate speech but I give power to those words in how they impact me. Words only have power if you let them effect you. To each their own though!
annoyingstranger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you'll find a lot of disagreement on the general principle, here. I think the major contention comes from cases where a government official speaks incorrectly, or where a state's choices are misconstrued as some sort of widespread restriction or ban on private behavior.
KrayC23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:26:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But even then, that has stipulations to it as well. If a government official speaks incorrectly on their own behalf expressing their own personal views, I don't see that as something people should condemn. You find out more about that official. Is it something you might not agree with? Then express it with your vote. There is a difference between being politically incorrect and being misunderstood as well. A misunderstanding should be given a chance to clarify themselves that way their message is properly understood.
jmrichmond81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IMO, if someone isn't PC when they speak, it seems like you're getting a more 'honest' answer.
KrayC23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I view it ideally. If I had to choose between a PC answer or an honest answer, I want the honest answer. That's what I'll do. I'm not going to be disrespectful about giving an honest answer but I'm not going to let PC get in the way of how I want my message interpreted.
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know, you dont need to be in government to get mobbed by society for being politically incorrect, these days you pretty much just have to sneeze.
Gandalfthewite ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, I'm not just okay with people being politically incorrect, I hate the idea of political correctness. It is so stupid, "hey, uh you can't say that thing because it makes me feel bad" "Well I'm sorry, that you are such a pansy asd bitch."
KrayC23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you say something that I don like then I'm going to move on and agree to disagree! No need to waste time getting upset about something. It's okay to have different views and opinions in my eyes.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I personally can't stand when people say Indian or "American Indian" instead of Native American. Makes me think they're ignorant and uneducated.
KrayC23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:01:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have learned the difference between the two and also refer to them as Native Americans. That to me isn't being politically correct but rather knowing the difference between the two. I get that when the Americas were explored, explorers thought they were in India hence the reason why Natives were referred as such but now that we know that the landed in the Americas and not in India, I believe that we should only call them Native Americans. Those who still call them Indians are ignorant if they don't know the difference which I can deal with because they aren't informed but those who know the difference and still call them Indians make me see them in a not so positive view.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, I'm not even native American (my username) and I find it offensive. After forcing nyself to make the distinction between the two, when my dad says something about the old west and says Indians I think to myself for a second, "Wait, what do Indians have to do at all with...oooooohhh, that stupid mess."
smokeyjoe69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would agree if you said it was nonsensical but offensive is a bit sensationalist. Terms get attached to things illogically all the time the origins of words are full of nonsensical development, people still use them though because people know what they are referring. I know it doesn't really count but I am 1/32 Cherokee and the term doesn't offend even 1/32nd of me because its not an insult.
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I say Indians sometimes and I am aware of the original misunderstanding. But lots of words, names and labels have nonsensical or bizarre origins, it doesn't mean they didn't develop into part of the vernacular. Nobody thinks Native Americans are from India when they say Indian so its not spreading a misconception, its just a word that people use because people know what others are referring to when they say it.
KrayC23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If you talk to me on the subject pertaining to Indians, I'm going to assume you mean Indians from India because that is what Indians are know as. If you were to correct me and say you mean the natives of the Americas, I would not change my stance because you weren't using the correct words. Using the word Indians in exchange for Native Americans is a form of slang. Not everyone would understand what you mean when your slang has a different meaning than the original word. There are plenty of people around the world who wouldn't understand the slang because there will be people who understand the word for it's original meaning. Also, teaching the difference between the two helps kids in school distinguish between who Indians really are and who Native Americans really are. I'm certain that there are kids, as well as people, who get confused when learning about the subject because there are some that think Indians as from Indian while others think Indians are also Native Americans. Just because a word may be nonsensical in the manner that it was used doesn't mean that we should just accept it as "just the way things are." We should ask questions and find out why things are the way they are. Yes words are used in different contexts and understandings based off of how one interprets the word. My view is that the word Indian came from a misunderstanding because explorers believed they were in India, but now that we as a society know that they in fact were in the Americas and called them Indians based off of explorers believing that they were in India, we should refer to them by their proper title and not off of something that they are not. (Sorry for the run-on sentence.) It's like traveling abroad and accidentally calling a Irish person Scottish. Just because you thought they were Scottish and continue calling them Scottish doesn't mean that they are Scottish. They should be called by their proper title and not by a misunderstanding or misconception. At least that is how I see it. Eliminating an misunderstandings or misconceptions is what I try to do so that whatever message I am trying to convey is taken in the manner that I meant it.
TL;DR: I call them Native Americans because that is their proper title and only refer to Indians as such because that is their proper title. Using Indians in interchangeably with Native Americans is a form of slang and changes the way the original meaning of the word leading to misunderstandings. Also sorry I'm on mobile :(
smokeyjoe69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya I mean I see your point, I share it and agree Native American makes more sense. But it's a little different to mixing up a Scottish person with an Irish person because when indian became a wide spread term it wasn't used in confusion it was just the term people used. Now that we have an alternative we can use it, and it should be the official term and thought in schools which it is. But that doesn't mean someone using it as they are used to is offensive. When abroad of course I use Native American for clarification. Most of the time when I use indian it's because the context of the conversation is clear and it won't cause confusion. Also sometimes when I feel links saying 1 word instead of 2.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:43:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PC
Like, I cant say paint that wall black.
I now have to say, Jamarcus, please paint that wall.
So annoying.
poopscoopnboogy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:04:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Urinating in public. As long as you are not putting anybody else in a predicament where they are forced into looking at your dick or vagina, and as long as you are peeing somewhere that the ground perforates, so that you don't end up with stagnant dried up smelly piss.
technostructural ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:10:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree completely. I lived in a nordic country for a while, and it was generally (socially, perhaps not legally) permissible to piss in a park, so long as you didn't make a show out of it. I was in California recently, and I was warned that I could be charged with a sex crime for it, and that people would report it. Damn piss police.
Grimfelion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Truth about CA. Had a friend get convicted as a sex offender for peeing in park. They said he might have exposed himself to kids... Apparently the fact that it was after midnight on a school night didn't mean anything...
technostructural ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually now that I think of it, it might just be a US thing in general. I was in Florida in February, driving across the everglades and there is no where to stop for a piss, so I just decided to unzip in a little nook off the road. Within 10 seconds a wildlife officer stopped in his SUV and started yelling at me. God forbid an Alligator sees my cock I guess.
HairyAsHull ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
done it many of times there too, problem is people die off US 27 and Alligator Ally all the time. Its dark as fuck, and easy to hit someone.
Seriously any Cop knows the perils of having to take a shit/piss and having to hold it in. A little sympathy should be applied here.
technostructural ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was told as I was cruising down the freeway with a friend, painfully trying not to piss myself. I saw a little green space and I suggested pulling over.. After hearing your story I'm glad I didn't.
Grimfelion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've pissed on the side of the road before. Realistically as long as you're far enough away or hidden enough no one will care. If it's a busy free way in a metropolitan area or you're clearly flashing people you MIGHT get in trouble. But that's mostly because people would hardly notice if they're driving by and also there would have to be a cop right there to bust you before you bailed.
captncarry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What nordic country?
technostructural ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Iceland
captncarry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, ok.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
of course it's the Icelandic, you guys are crazy.
frankiefaithful ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Who cares? I had this bus driver who would always stop at this one place, he'd walk to the rear doors and piss on the side of the road. When I told people this, they would freak out, but I did not care one bit. At least I would get to my destination faster than if he stopped for a real washroom break.
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you either have to accept that you have people peeing in places or build some fucking facilities to enable them to not do so. If you don't fund it, people are forced to break the law because they're within a few miles of an area such as a village that means they cannot pee because there is no toilet they can use.
BrStFr ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:34:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bare feet just about everywhere...
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Glass....
procrastinating_nhil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why though?
lostsemicolon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I barefooted for two year for lent. It's absolutely amazing how different places feel when you can feel the texture of the ground beneath you. It sort of makes you feel like you're going through life sedated or blindfolded otherwise.
Absolutely fantastic, would recommend.
BrStFr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want me to bare my soul about why I like to bare my sole?
HeyGuyILikeYourFeet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't mind it if you bared your sole.
MaddenMan73 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:51:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People wearing hats during anthems/parades/etc.
It's just a hat.
JustA_human ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:53:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socialism. (like we don't have socialism already anyways)
Public sex.
Drug use. (Responsible use required)
Not wanting to work every day of your life for a fiat currency.
Not loving the USA Empire. (Love the country/people, hate the empire)
Taxing the rich.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:31:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't want to see people fucking all the time, but I agree with the rest.
JustA_human ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're on the wrong planet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I accepted this long ago.
ClosetedImperialist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have to agree with you 100% on the 'not loving the USA Empire'.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
JustA_human ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
suspicious username detected.
o_o
ClosetedImperialist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
XD
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*Love the country/most of the people
JustA_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people really make it hard to love your own species.
But you can never forget that as dark as some may be, they are still human.
Love humanity as family because we ARE family. We are all brothers and sisters in the greatest dysfunctional family known to planet earth.
neightdog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swinging
Simanni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like,on swingsets?
neightdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, like on O.P.P.
lightmanmac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dropping my pants and doing the helicopter with my penis in public
baconfall ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:14:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I just wanna fly....
Destroyer_Wes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:58:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm OK with "slutty" women even though they are frowned upon
RemedyofRevenge ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:13:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a literal sense, doing socially unacceptable things. That doesn't mean being a twat I mean say a guy wearing high heels in public or a black person doing "white things".
Essentially breaking these norms to me, it what drives progress or makes for a conducive environment to discuss why these things are "bad". This leads to a critical analysis and judgement of such norms to see if they are really worth keeping.
SirDarkly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitting a woman as a man. I'm not condoning domestic abuse, but if any person is attempting to do you physical harm, and you feel unsafe, you should DEFEND YOURSELF AS NECESSARY
ruthlessrellik ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For some people asking about money and salaries is rude, but I just don't see it that way. It's not going to affect your paychecks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This kind of shit drives me nuts. If you're ashamed of your salary, don't work there. You SHOULD tell your salary, as it helps all involved in the long run. Th is kind of thinking only helps employers and ruins unions.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:11:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Living with your parents and not paying rent unless they ask for it.
I don't see why its socially unacceptable. If I met a girl my age who still lived with her parents I wouldn't care. Their living situation wouldn't effect what I think or feel about them.
ButtSexington3rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. If I lived in the same town as my family, I'd live with them. They're better roommates than many I've had.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:26:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sending out thank you notes. Idgaf if i buy something for somebody's kid's birthday and i don't get a thank you card in the mail. I know they are thankful. No need to waste paper, stamps and time.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:29:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay none of these are terrible so I'll say this: Being friends with pedophiles.
Note: NOT child molesters. I was molested as a kid but it wasn't that bad but if it was more serious I could see that fucking someone up. However, if people just think kids are sexy I really don't care. Just don't touch, and don't fucking stare. Also, don't say anything to any of them. Outside of that I don't care. Just don't bother anyone.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:53:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen, brother.
Amen.
brierrat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:05:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nakedness. Who cares what goes on solely in someone else's head?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people who aren't sociopaths.
laterdude ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 14:16:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up.
I honestly don't understood why everyone around me fetishizes childhood, farts and pillow forts. The floor is not lava, folks!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:58:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Since when is growing up socially unacceptable?
laterdude ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:01:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Spend more time on Reddit.
This place is littered with questions prompting us to relive our favorite childhood memories and bitching about adulthood.
"I'm 34. I'll let you know when I feel like a grown-up" is a running gag in these parts.
This attitude permeates real life as well. For example, cargo shorts & t-shirts are now the uniform for every age group. Timberlake and I are the last of the suit & tie guys.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:07:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yea, nostalgia is a thing on Reddit.
Also, for a grown up I'm surprised you don't keep your suites in the closet.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like you could fit a whole suite in a typical closet!
laterdude ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone didn't believe me when I said I dressed up for baseball games like it was the 1950s. I hung my suits on the curtain rod since it makes for a better photograph.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:39:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, no offense, you're going to far in the other direction. Hats haven't been in since people started riding in cars. You're literally wearing fedoras and wearing suits to baseball games. Style changes, you don't have to get sloppy but style is relative, not absolute.
You don't even own a tux or I don't see a white tie and tails, you're soooo unfashionable. /s
Edit: don't buy like 10 suits, by one good one that will last preferably blue.
Banter725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One? You can wear one suit every day if every week to work? Damn.... stinky
CrustyGrundle ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:41:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
eyfattyb00mb00m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget this guy- he's in the club too!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:10:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your childish style is laughable.
A true gentleman only leaves his house in this for a trip to Wal Mart.
eyfattyb00mb00m ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:15:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your lack of class is evident- without locks styled as such you are naught but a common peasant!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gah, my britches have been soiled and my name tarnished, I shall never show my peasantry in public again.
ElQuesoBandito ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:06:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/niceguys
sibeliushelp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only three fedoras? Get it together.
POW_HAHA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:59:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tips fedora
spraychael ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you care how other people dress? I'm a 23 year old lesbian and I enjoy khakis and a t-shirt as much as the next guy. Just because you like wearing fedoras to the grocery store doesn't make you a higher class person.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Muhguul ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:04:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a label, the dude fucking wears fedoras. Look at his picture.
ZMPL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the only thing I really miss about being a kid was not having to worry and/or not having the same responsibilities that you have when you're an adult (having to go to work etc.) Other than that being an adult is awesome!
Dumebuggy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, do you just re post hundreds of successful AskReddit questions on AskReddit? I took a look at your history and there's like a hundred for the past week.
Stormsoul22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because adult life is very stressful and pillow forts are fun.
Mando_calrissian423 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well look at who's not allowed in Pillowfort 5000 anymore.
Redbulldildo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always just found pillow forts more comfy than a normal room. I like tight spaces, so essentially, I'm just making a smaller room with what I have.
Shadax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally unacceptable. When someone walks by me while being an adult, it's totally rude by having grown up. Inconsiderate bastards.
BewilderedFingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm ok with being an adult, just not with how fast everything goes. I feel like in the blink of an eye I went from "oh you have loads of time" to people pretty much expecting that I know what I want to do with my life. I have a job but not a career yet, I have a long term relationship but I am nowhere near ready to marry anyone, I sort of want to take a masters degree next year, I am 26, and feel like I should be in my early 20's.
No clue what is causing the down votes. I don't think I was off topic or offensive.
InvaderChin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you getting downvotes for this?
Goddamn, hivemind, what's up your ass today?
MURICA_BITCH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same with innocence. I don't need to be sheltered to enjoy life
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to my brother! The natives tried to warn him, and he just thought they were playing a game! RIP Danny
Sonofstarwind ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pillow forts.... Meh, and I didnt play the floor is lava.
But FARTS?!?! I still find every one funny!
maz-o ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:40:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to be surrounded by childish idiots.
BunzLee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:45:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a little harsh, don't you think? There are a lot of people that are childish to some degree, some more, some less. That doesn't make them idiots just for having something that appeals to them that you don't agree with.
Wargame4life ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:24:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it does, the more intelligent and experienced you become the less tolerance you have for childish twatishness.
Reddit is filled with childish goons who think they are being cute with their lego talk and milk and cookies crap, completely unaware that normal people are judging them precisely because that stage is fucking immature and infantile.
Its not cute its not funny its just pathetic and appeals to those with no actual sophisticated creativity.
"Hey look at my building a pillow fort in my pyjamas at 21 aren't i cute quirky and funny?"---no you are an infantile underdeveloped moron.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I see a pic of your fedora collection?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:00:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, but you can see a pic of his "I hate feminism" collection.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:21:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. I recently saw a lovely moment with a mom and her little one. It's was hot outside and baby was hungry. They were laying down on the blanket. She was stroking baby's hair while baby fed. It was so sweet. It wasn't sexualize or disgusting just baby and mom sharing a moment. Awe.
smackapack ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:50:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling fat people fat, I'm completely Ok with it.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:40:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting! We should all be able to fart as if a person sneezed. Just let her rip!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:37:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sneezes don't smell though...
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:41:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, came to say the same. Some farts are fucking gross and I don't want to smell that shit. If everyone just went around farting everywhere whenever they wanted, I would be pissed off all the time.
turtlepuberty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fart a lot so i cant leave the room every time i fart. And most dont smell. But a few do smell and that sux. On occasion ill eat something bad and i really have no business being in public because my farts melt paint. I love to fart, and i thik they are hilarious, especially if timed well. But if someone knows they are going to blow like that and still let er rip, that acceptability is certainly up for debate.
guitarman81597 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
let her rip tater chip
Glorthiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you can you would at least relocate to some where down wind right? like 15 feet away?
Boush117 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:42:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Let's see:
Consentual incest. They are just two adults partaking in action they both agree on. They should avoid getting kids (unless they are cousins, then the threat is small), though. Attempting to have kids with close relatives is irresponsible.
Expressing every sexuality in public (as long as it is consentual, obviously. That means that pedophilia and zoophilia are off-limits for me, drawing the line there is hard). Even in 2015 there are people making a hassle out of two homosexuals kissing or holding hands. Why would you care?
Eating dogs, cats or other domesticated animals, as long as it is not someone's pet. If somebody (though I don't know why) wanted to eat their deceased pet, then I am okay with it.
Breastfeeding in public. I find babies hideous, but that does not mean I want them to starve because of some laughable social construct preventing them from getting fed.
Talking about "inappropriate" things like sex, religion and politics in mature company. It makes people feel more comfortable when they can afford to be open about themselves. Hiding stuff like that is sometimes annoying, I know from experience.
Etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Boush117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fold.
kerryb1989 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:34:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding.
It's the most natural thing, but yet people have a problem with it in public. Babies gotta eat too.
FabulousKilljoy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:55:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't get pissy if people glance, that's all.
nofate301 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking
GreasyAssMechanic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:42:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I live in (northern) Virginia so it's still pretty common, if maybe starting to wane a little, but it always surprises me when I go to other states to see peoples' attitudes towards smokers. I don't smoke, but I have never been bothered by it. It seems strange to really be bothered by it so much as to treat the person in some cases as a second class citizen. Like fuck, just walk past the person. You're exposing yourself more when you have to stop and confront the person. Yeah. /rant
thisriveriswild57 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:44:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people complain 'can we not discuss this while we're eating'. Honestly, I'm able to eat just fine. Hearing whatever people seem to find so uncomfortable doesn't bother me or ruin the food.
Toadxx ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:22:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't mean you have to completely disregard and disrespect that person, if what they're asking you to not discuss is within reason. Source: Sister at one point decided to discuss her newborns shitting habits. I asked her to wait until I was done eating, because, shit is disgusting. I am promptly yelled at for being "rude".
Proseedcake ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:18:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you don't experience something doesn't mean other people don't, though. I mean, if talking about disgusting things while you eat doesn't ruin the food for you, that's great, but it doesn't mean it can't have that effect on other people.
jcpianiste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But the question wasn't "What socially unacceptable things should everybody else have to put up with", it was "What socially unacceptable things are you ok with". Obviously if nobody minded hearing people talk about gross stuff while they're eating it wouldn't be socially unacceptable.
thisriveriswild57 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:59:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a conversation I'd start in the first place, but the point is I wouldn't complain if someone else talks about it. If others are unhappy then they can speak up, but as an answer in this thread, I'm OK with it.
octobertwins ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am so easily repulsed. I can't help it. Please don't mention that something gross could have happened to the food cause I'll gag and there is no turning back.
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like to discuss 2 girls 1 cup over a nice hot plate of creamed spinach?
thisriveriswild57 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:57:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't stop me from eating. I really don't associate food with what I'm discussing. They're completely separate in my mind.
Your comment made me laugh though, I'll give you that.
jayhawk8808 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES! This is the best answer I've seen. I do not understand how this works for most people. If someone was explaining how they just had explosive diarrhea while I was eating, it wouldn't bother me at all.
turtlepuberty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone talks about roaches when im eating ill ask that they stop immediately. I have in the past lost my appetite, and thats a bummer if youre hungry and just spent money on food. its a real phobia stemming from dealing with way too many of them in the home i grew up in.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:31:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Open relationships. It's a confusing concept to many people
sunshinepills ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Smoking cigarettes. I've never had a desire to do it, but I don't give a shit if someone around me is going to do it, so long as if we're in an enclosed area they open a window or something.
TacoNinjaSkills ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:53:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about religion, politics, or gender relations. Dude, those are some of the most important things to talk about.
Hyperion1144 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bowing instead of shaking hands (I'm American).
HyruliEnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get shit every time I do it
Robespierre8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:22:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sending thank you cards. I think they are pointless. I tell someone thank you for whatever they did, that should suffice. They shouldn't also have to have a stupid thank you card.
kageookami64 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:53:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Honking at people who sit at lights too long.
I hate when people are playing with their radio, or always on their phone that they don't see the light.
Now I'll give then 3 seconds.
And then I honk my horn. A single beep. And If the person Continues sitting there, I give one more beep this time it's a bit little longer.
My sister freaks out thinking someone is going to shoot us.
She should be more worried people behind us see the green light and don't slow down.
kdoodlethug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this not acceptable? If I get beeped at I just feel guilty for making them wait.
kageookami64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So I lived in NY for a while and people just are on the horn the minute it turns green.
In Washington state, they "pride them selves in being polite drivers." which essentially means they don't like to honk at people. That's the interpretation I got from many people.
So people here don't generally like to honk. Now that is what people say. What happens on the road is different.
kdoodlethug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting! I do it if it has been a few seconds but I generally try to give them a moment because I know that sometimes a person can miss the light changing.
Rem0nsterr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:09:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people the truth about not why you are not attending an event.
mivipa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going out alone has a huge fucking stigma. I lied to my mother and told her I was going to meet friends at the mall. I was alone. Because fuck other people. I'm just trying to pick out a nice tie and a new belt, why should I call up friends to do that with me?
JamAndDai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alcohol straight.
People always assume you're an alcoholic.
Once I ordered a shot of vodka at a wedding. Bartender refused to give me that. I asked for a screwdriver and she gave it to me with no problem. As if adding extra ingredients makes something more socially acceptable, or less alcoholic.
imthegoddamnbatman- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should have asked for something like vodka on the rocks. They might have had a no shots policy for the wedding.
JamAndDai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a bad idea!
noNameJame ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:14:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing outside as long as you are trying not to be obvious and rude. Like on a tree or grass, not like on someone's house
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:29:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a fist fight.
While I prefer that everyone just talked out their differences, some people get so deep in the emotion that it becomes inescapable to the point where they just need to duke it out of each other. If both parties are willing we should just let them fight it out in a respectful manner. And we as a people not involved in a fight should be acting as referees, stepping in to prevent permanent injury and preventing an unfair fight.
Sometimes you just need to have a good fist fight, let it all out, and then have a beer afterwards.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THIS so much. The societal rush to absolute pacifism is against the intrinsic nature of humanity. Without reasonable violence you get what we have today: misbehavior from children whom never mature as they age; bizarre behaviors that are bordering on delusional but tolerated because of a live and let live society.
People need beatings. To get them, to give them, when appropriate and a lesson behind the action. The British quote Shakespeare and say "cruel to be kind, in the right leader's and hell yes it's true.
cjohnson15 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:31:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having an unpopular opinion and defending it when people get angry with you.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:13:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LSD and other hallucinogen use. They're the best drugs to do and are very self-regulating
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Psychedelics are the god damn bees knees
Angelic1Beast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. I ain't one to judge.
Anarchilli ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:21:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy between consenting adults
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!!
_PukyLover_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:51:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
disciplining children that misbehave In public, especially the spoiled little shits
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
_PukyLover_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
with a set of jumper cables
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Letting children walk to the park by themselves. Letting children play in the park by themselves. Letting children play on the sidewalk by themselves. Letting a kid stand outside by himself in the hallway for a few minutes, if he's been misbehaving. They don't need to be supervised by adults 24/7.
Leaving a child by him/herself at home for short periods of time, provided that the oven is unplugged and the matches are locked away. Leaving a kid in the car by himself for short periods, so long as the windows are rolled down a bit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My parents let me play at the park alone and nothing bad ever happened to me, because my parents actually taught me to not talk to strangers!
Breakyerself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. I don't think its a great idea. Probably very volitile, but to each their own. Everyone is consenting? Okay then get married.
prettypinknails ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:08:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spanking your child for being an annoying mouthy brat. If my son mouths off to me and throws a fit, your damn right I will sway his bottom and tell him to quit being a spoiled brat. It's discipline, not abuse.
TheRachaelFish ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's discipline and abuse. There are other non abusive ways to discipline your child.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not abuse, that's just an insult to actual abuse victims.
ravenshadow2013 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
spanking a misbehaving child in public
ibs2pid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:01:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I am sure I am going to get downvoted to hell and RIP inboxed for this, but here is mine. Hitting a woman in defence of yourself or another. People are so quick to say "YOU SHOULD NEVER HIT A WOMAN!!!". I disagree. I have been working in bars for over 16 years, all over the US. I have worked in areas where the women are way more mean and more likely to swing, punch, slap, and thow stuff and sometimes, they are bigger than me (not very often, but there have been a few). Now, I am not saying I have never hit a woman. In over 16 years of working in bars, I have only ever hit 2 men, and in defence of them attacking other people and then going in and swinging on me when I tried to stop them. I am trained in martial arts. I know holds, chokes, and other ways to subdue. Not a lot of people are though.
I have seen a couple of bouncers and many other guys (bar goers) get socially cricified for laying out a drunk ass woman who started fights and wouldn't relent. You know what, she deserved it. I don't say a word and I don't even judge. Now I am not saying hitting women is acceptable. Hell, I don't even think hitting a guy is acceptable. Self defence is a whole different thing though.
I don't know why people are so against using whatever means nessecary to stop a situation that has the potential to not only bring harm to themselves, but to other people, because it is a woman doing it. If it's a guy, people will call you a pussy for not decking somone when they push you. If it's a woman, you get screamed at for draggin her out by her arm roughly because she is swinging a broken bottle at somone (<---actually happened).
Again, I don't condone violence against anyone, but this whole thing needs to stop. Sometimes a woman, just like a guy, needs to get popped when they are trying to hurt people to put them in their place. You all know "those people". Sometimes that is the only way they learn.
BoobalooTheStink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:49:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Babies making noises or crying in public. It has never bothered me to hear or see children in restaurants and makes me feel kind of bad to see the mom or dad anxiously trying to hush up their little one from uttering a peep. I do understand that it annoys other people and I get it but it has never bothered me. Actually sat next to a screamer today in a restaurant and I took notice of everyone else who hated it by the looks and reactions but it didn't bother me.
I'm probably lucky though. My daughter is so good in public as long as she is fed and has a clean diaper.
Taleya ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:28:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sharing a bed with your partner.
Seriously, I'm talking just sleeping here. His Lordship is a morning person, I am a night owl. He works a steady 9-5 shift, mine wafts around from 9-5 to 10-6 to 12-8. He's an insomniac who's easily disturbed and who frets he's gonna wake me up tossing and turning (despite me being able to sleep through an atomic detonation), and I'm a gigantic doona hog (we have separate doonas. Key to a happy marriage, people: separate doonas).
So sometimes he sleeps on the big fat futon couch in the loungeroom (The couch is actually two beds because the aircon is in there and fuck melbourne summer), and sometimes I do, and sometimes we share, and it's really not that fucking big of a deal. There is no marriage death here, just two hardworking fuckers who like getting good sleep.
hellomek ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. In consensual and honest relationships, of course
sadhukar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:16:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest amongst cousins
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sadhukar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
because in case of accidents happening, the result would be someone stable and not Joffrey Baratheon.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:41:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
turtlepuberty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hot twin chicks too.
jacksparrow5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:47:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it is okay to slap your kid if he\she is throwing a tantrum and is not listening to you
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would say you need to physically apprehend, not use violence.
My dad says that you resort to violence when you are not able to work it out with words. Wouldn't work for kids though.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya see, in Flint, Michigan, if lil treyshawn be actin up, you shoot him in the crib.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am not American soo...
GoldenRemembrance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think not asking about cost for things people do, like salaries or a particular purchase, is silly. How else are you supposed to be able to plan doing it well yourself if you can't seek input from others who have done it before?
zenmasteryoshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Having fun with cousins or not directly related family member. I know it sounds creepy but I don't mind it at all.
french1canadian2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. Doesn't bother me at all.
shaneo632 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walking out of a room if the conversation is boring, assuming there are more than 2 people in it.
BoozeoisPig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly unacceptable: Eating things without utensils that usually require them. Tremendously unacceptable: [consensual, of age] incest.
epileptic_pancake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm okay with a lot of socially unacceptable things. Provided you aren't making my life difficult I really don't give a shit what you do.
LILY_LALA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being politically incorrect--if the only reason you can come up with supporting something is to be politically correct, reevaluate the entire situation.
Fnuzilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about my deepest emotions to someone you've just met.
mai_tais_and_yahtzee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cash bar at a wedding. Had one, don't care. People could drink or not as they chose. We had one keg of free beer, and free lemonade/pop/water.
IMO no one's owed free booze at weddings, and it's hugely expensive to have a free bar. I regret spending $8k on the wedding that we did have, would have rather downsized.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I manage a bar and probably do 15-20 weddings every year and it's rare we ever do one that's open.
workfoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people the truth.
Aroha11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with this, however, is that your opinion is not the same as 'the truth'. If you think someone is ugly or stupid, and say it to their face, you are not speaking the truth, but merely express your highly subjective opinion.
penny_a_mile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. Seriously, it can get really bunged-up and I don't blame you if you think you can unblock it with your finger better than a tissue.
KIRW7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that doesn't involve harming another or put others at risk.
Earlthecreator1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing hats indoors.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sharing very personal experiences with other people, in a genuine effort to better understand that person, myself, and society.
People don't like to have honest conversations, so I think it must be taboo.
KoveltSkiis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always feel like a burden if I share them, but if anyone wanted to talk to me about one I would be down
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that fairly accurately describes me as well. My adoptive mom works in child protective services, and she and I have an understanding that many people just aren't prepared to believe some of the darker corners of the world exist. Having seen one or two of them each, we relate really well on that level, and I think that's great.
CabbageEnthusiast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of enjoy being around people who say politically incorrect things. I feel like I'm open minded in the true sense of the word, so I don't mind being around most people, even closed minded people.
Airyll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not answering the phone or a msg. Then later say it was 'Upstairs, downstairs, on Silent, etc etc'.
arcanition ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Tipping less than 20% or not ruling at all if the service warrants it (and before you say, yes I have worked in a tipped position... worked for a pizza delivery company making $5.10/hr)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texting at the table. I don't do this except in case of contacting someone in the group who is late/planning to show up later, but a lot of my friends do it and to be honest I don't really mind as long as there is intermittent conversation.
Keeku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking on the phone while going through a checkout.
I worked as a checkout operator for 5-6 years and it never bothered me when a customer was on the phone, as long as it didn't slow my line down (which it rarely ever did). Others consider it extremely rude though.
Mercertk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting.
Juicetinian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. Cmon guys, everyone does it, and it's unhealthy to hold it. Just consider farts as separate entities from the people that make them, and you can enjoy/hate them together.
GarlicAftershave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks with sandals. I may not own a pair of sandals, but why should I give a damn what everyone else wears with them?
holaemailer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing (not in an aggressive manner)
RemovalOfTheFace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
being alone in public without a phone.
IAmTeddybear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This may be kinda kinda gross but incest. Not like mother son or siblings but between cousins/uncles/aunts. My belief may be helped out by that time when i was younger and i accidentally hard core made out with my cousin... But its ok! I didn't know she was my cousin at the time...
FlyinBananasCantTalk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution. It's one person paying another person for a service. The same as a builder... Well not quite but you know what I mean.
yaba3800 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:07:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you could build a baby
MagicalKartWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A Build-A-Baby Workshop?
FlyinBananasCantTalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if you fully understand how a baby is made.
Ormuszoto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tell you what I'm NOT okay with. Chew with your fucking mouth closed. I don't want to hear or see what you're eating. I'll get up and leave the room/table.
KombatWombat1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Treating women like men in all aspects of life. It irks me when I see a show like cops and the guy hit her back after being stuck multiple times, and they take him because he is a dude with s cop saying she's smaller than you or some shit
That doesn't mean I don't try to treat women with respect, but that shit pisses me off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, you should treat everybody with respect. I get it you earn respect blah blah blah. But I'm not gonna go around being a dick to a stranger for being a stranger. Have manners, act like a human.
KombatWombat1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I do. I just hate the notion that many have an set on men, yet want equality.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Equality means equality!
KombatWombat1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You hit like a man...get hit like a man
shadow1515 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running everywhere, like a video game character.
shelly12345678 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting to eat when your food arrives ie not waiting for everyone else to get their meal.
SquidLoaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Letting my house be a little messy, looking "lived in" when having company.
I swear, the people who insist on making their house immaculate every time they have a couple people over don't have any fun. It makes guests feel less comfortable too imo cause they're worried that they might mess something up.
glass_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sleep in my clothes almost every night. I Just find it more comfortable.
_michelle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dating/being attracted to a guy who is my height. Why does every fucking female friend of mine have to ask me if the guy I'm into is tall? Who gives a shit? ** Edit: I'm 5'6ish.
lostsemicolon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a 5'6" man, I thank you.
_michelle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:00 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:)
BadIdeaSociety ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not receiving a "Thank you" when I hold the door for someone.
Don't care. The door isn't that heavy.
Prits_Tick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dog rubbing his arse on the carpet... It's acceptable because he doesn't have opposable thumbs. It's not OK when lapdancers do it on me... I can only imagine those little white worms... gross
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walking around naked.
It's a human body, we've all seen them before and we all have one (Except Brian, but he's weird). Who gives a shit.
SenatorAstronomer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be honest, I don't want to see 98% of the public naked.
ITiswhatITisforthis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling your boss a piece of shit.
Cocoa-nut-Cum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mental illness. They honestly can't help it. As long as they're not hurting anyone it's fine by me that they're bat shit crazy. I'll laugh if they say something funny, but I try not to laugh at their situation, that's just sad...
ny2miami ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elbows on the table.
Darktroop6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That shit is the dumbest thing. My dads girlfriend is an enforcer of this, she just kinda stares and whispers to my dad. I swear one day I'm gonna throw my spinach at her face
MurDoct ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not saying good morning to people. If I'm already having a shitty day at work and its 7am I might not be having a great morning.
U_DONT_KNOW_TEAM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thinking horrible thoughts.
shyavenueblizzard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women keeping their body hair intact. It's a pain in the ass to shave half your body every day.
mnjiman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being truthful (and with that as complex as needed to describe situations in detail.) Not in the sense of "being blunt and too the point" but just being open to my perception to certain occurrences and how I recall events. If I am in the negative light when I recall a situation I still attempt to communicate those situations. In those situations I am not actively putting myself down with negativity, but rather actively admitting to the real faults I have and actually improving on them.
The down side to this is the level of detail I tend to relay to others and the complexity that may come with it... most people find it more acceptable to summarize events even if details are sacrificed. I find this dishonest and I find it odd that its unacceptable to be detailed.
DasXero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coming over to my house whenever, If you come over you burp or fart, If you come over you do you and I do me and sometimes do us, If you need to leave just leave but lock the door, Calling me anytime day or night,
I honestly could go on because I dislike most social standards.
revisedtruth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pooping after taking a shower.
justme89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bad language, swearing, drugs and alcohol.
cheetosnfritos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not going to the gym. I work with a ton of meatheads who all loft 24/7 and it's so annoying listening to them talk.
Ryuyasha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing
joellama23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding. Not sure if it is completely socially unacceptable, but some freak out at the sight of it. They have a child to take care of, get over yourselves people if this is what makes you uncomfortable.
veggietrooper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I'm not drawn to engage in it personally (I don't think my sibling is physically attractive), but there are lots of things I'm not into, like feet or getting peed on. Why does anyone care?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding in public. Not wearing a bra. #freethenipple
derangerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Veganism
ACTUALLYunacceptable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Certain types of bestiality.
Beyond obvious things like religious hangups and 'it's icky', social revulsion to bestiality stems from the logical question of consent. An animal cannot consent with absolute certainty, and sex without consent is rape.
But if you're dealing with an animal that naturally starts going to pound town when you assume the correct position, that's fine with me. Have fun. As long as you don't have to do anything beyond letting it know what is being offered and fine-tuning their aim once they get going, that's sufficient consent in my book.
BlueSkittle572 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you only support bestiality for women
oxideseven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not "minding my own business" when clearly bad shit is going down and I can do something about it.
ie: seeing someone stealing and not saying shit. Seeing someone about to abuse their kid in a store and not saying anything. so on and so forth.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being naked in public. It's not like it's gonna hurt anyone
shotanken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping
HANDS-DOWN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating someone's leftovers, like the other day I went to see Avengers 2 and noticed someone had only ate a bit of a twix and left all the thing behind, so I just grabbed it, no ragrets.
MalenkoMC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will admit that I have grabbed an empty popcorn bucket out of the trash and wiped it out then gotten a free refill. I also once found a cup on a bench, snagged that shit, washed it in the bathroom, got a refill, lid, and new straw.
If they are going to offer free refills on Large items, I will do my best to partake in someone elses. ;)
c_rbon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Atheism
chickenwing13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Helping my self to bulk candy
amnsisc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BDSM.
joecarst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having my own opinion.
moccasinspaws ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with BO. I mean if it's many days old and can be smelled 10 ft away, ok, go take a shower, but otherwise, it really doesn't bother me, and I'd rather smell that than the scent of toxic, sickly sweet anti-perspirant deodorant.
PhyerFly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double-dipping when eating chips and salsa. I value good flavor coverage on the second bite
sonic1992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After one gripe from somebody, I just took the sauce! ...now I always order one just for me!
Hutnick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy or I guess any poly relationship. Never been in one but I don't care.
awesomesonofabitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are times when me and my kids eat our meals in absolute silence.
It's fantastic.
I also stab my fork into my meat as if it's going to jump off of the table while it's being cut. I look like a total caveman but I'll be damned if there's a better way to cut meat. (There isn't, folks. Your dandy ways don't work for me.)
TheBestBigAl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people chew with their mouth open.
I don't do it, but I don't care at allwhen other people do (I don't even notice unless someone else mentions it). Usually when this comes up on Reddit it's a fairly unanimous "Hitler wasn't as bad as people who chew with their mouth open".
rohho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking the remaining milk from your bowl after eating cereal. Why do people expect me to spend 30minutes spooning that shit out when it takes two seconds to drink?
Nahteh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about touchy topics. I really don't get it, more specifically I don't understand how people are so controlled by emotions.
I like talking about Politics, religion especially when someone has a different view. Death, a lot of people don't talk about those who were close to them who died.
These sort of topics while done in good manners, make me feel like im in a real world. let's be honest, If you can't stay calm during conversation/debate you should stay quiet and let the adults talk.
Zackeezy116 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking me very personal questions. I'm a pretty open guy for the most part.
SpatialCandy69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I personally wouldn't do it, but if someone wants to fuck their sister, why do you care?
Eternasphere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forgetting someone's name. People take it as a personal insult, as though I haven't been daydreaming about them like i should have.
ohgeronimo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting, belching (when you're not doing either directly on people), not saying excuse me when you do either of them, picking your nose (so long as you're not showing the contents to others or wiping it on things aside from something like a tissue), pointing your finger at people or things, talking above quiet volumes in public, crying children under a certain age (probably about 7), not smiling in pictures, and announcing if you need to be excused to pee or shit. Adjusting your testicles when the underpants get wedged around them (if done over the clothes and without playing with yourself or trying to draw attention). Adjusting your bra from over the clothes. There are probably more, but most of these things are rather silly with how offended people get.
Oh, right, one more. Picking a wedgie out of your ass in public. You want me to walk around with my underpants and pants wedged between my ass cheeks making me walk funny until I can find some secluded spot in private to tug down on the fabric at the area below the butt cheek from over the clothing? I find forcing people to walk around publicly like that more offensive than seeing someone quickly re-adjust themselves. It's particularly offensive when it's someone making a fuss about someone in a pair of board short style swimming shorts that's got the lining wedged in their ass after going down a water slide. Get over it.
MIKE_son_of_MICHAEL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose when not In front of someone. Burping. It's harmless. Both feel great. Especially when you get a big one. Applies to both.
Heckfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking with kids. Like seriously, after I took a child psych class kids genuinely interest me, they're a lot more capable then people think they are. And no, not walking up to random children in public. More like small chatting or anything. Granted, I tend to not do it so I don't get labeled as a sex offender.
:\
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I really don't give a rats ass who you fuck. I personally wouldn't touch anyone in my family but if they love each other why the hell should I care?
rikus95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public nudity ๐
YayCookiesForever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've talked about this before, but mild forms of female circumcision.
I am from Singapore, and was circumcised as a baby. Mom said I cried out when the midwife cut the clitoral hood away and snipped it and cried for awhile after, but then I was fine and I never acted like it bothered me.
I've never had trouble with sex either and enjoy it very much.
The west's attitude towards female circumcision often makes me roll my eyes. I can see being against the severe types, but the mild types aren't any worse than male circumcision (which many of these same people have no problem with).
johnchapel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating. I dont even bat an eye when an unavailable man talks about fucking another girl.
Sometimes it surprises me how it literally never phases me at all
pazur13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laughing without a reason. Whenever something reminds me of a funny situation, I have to stop myself from laughing because if I would, everyone would think I'm some kind of a lunatic.
euphwes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about salary, or general money stuff. I don't really get the big deal in general, though I suppose I can see how it might be a sore point for many people.
gram-negative ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being pestered to talk/hang out, I like overly clingy people (as long as it's not psycho-iwillfindyou-andiwillkillyou-ifyoudontreply-level clingy), it makes me feel more comfortable around them.
ravenkain251 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I use illegal drugs as medication for several ailments...deal with it
catjuggler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Writing emails that are to the point and not:
Hi Coworker,
How was your weekend? So I was wondering about the TPS report. Here's some background about why I need it rather than me just writing one sentence asking you if you have it. I hope you enjoyed wasting your time reading this paragraph,
Best,
CatJuggler
jrnation23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing. I've never had a problem with people swearing while not insulting people.
geeeffwhy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's called the "French leave" and it's the best.
Dosage_Of_Reality ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically anything actually. I don't care at all unless it directly hurts myself or someone close to me, barring that do whatever you want to yourself or others.
ixfd64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Regifting holiday-themed items after the holiday season. My mother thinks it's a major faux pas, but I'd be happy to receive any present regardless of the time of the year.
NaomiNekomimi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a girl, boys leaving the toilet seat up. Actually, I'd prefer it stay up whenever it isn't in use so guys who are lazy don't piss all over it when you leave it down.
BaconZombie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating with your hands.
I_TensE_I ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sterilizing humans. If you have the genes that are undesirable (Alzheimer's, DOWN syndrome, dwarfism, etc) you are probably living a pretty shitty life or have experienced discrimination because of it. There's nothing you can do about it but would you want your offspring to put up with that too? Now I'm not saying people with bad genetic disorders shouldn't have children but instead of making more people why not adopt some of the children that have no parents and give them love knowing they'll grow up with love and care that you can provide give.
badanas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Everyone is talking about manners and such. I was going to say cannibalism. You're dead, you're dead. Ammirite?
Tebuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. There are still stigmas in some parts of the US when a woman breastfeeds in public. 1st: Some how its dirty (most of us know where that came from) 2nd: Covered is better but oh my gosh you are in public. "Trashy" is the term I guess. 3rd: Whip it out and put it in the baby's mouth uncovered is an abomination and will drive men to sexual thoughts and well .... that is dirty.
When will we grow up.
likeafuckingninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
leaving the second you wake up when you've crashed at someone's house after a party the night before.
Seriously, the party is over, i allowed you to sleep here because it was helpful, now leave so i can get on with my day.
Conversely when I leave the next morning, no you haven't offended me, no i don't need a cup of tea or a biscuit. yes i did have fun i just want to get home, have a shower and a nap in my own bed before getting on with the rest of my day.
bigboss2014 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of them. No word of a lie, I have no social filter when it comes to expectations. Not doing something because you're afraid of social stigma seems stupid to me. Go with the flow and do what makes you smile.
sufferationdub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking. Using an e-cigarette indoors. Spitting. Foul language in front of kids.
sevencoves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying bad words in front of kids in public. They need to hear an "asshole" or a "shit basket" every once in awhile. Builds character.
WienerCircle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Usage of the word "cunt"
lynnyfer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping the small talk. I have a friend that goes through the whole "how are you how's your job how's your family what's new" spiel when she just wants to ask a favor/question. I just find it boring and unnecessary. If you want to ask me to watch your cats for a weekend, just ask. Skip the "tell me all about your day!" shit.
Kryptlin08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I could care less what people do. Same arguments that gays made.
joelthezombie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The issue with incest is that the people Involved can get pregnant and cause inbreeding which causes genetic defects.
That is the real issue with incest.
In Alabama incest if legal if one or both of the people in question are sterile though.
Kryptlin08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
No different than mothers doing drugs or drinking during their pregnancy. If that's the only legitimate problem then there is nothing wrong with gay incest.
Edit: Also abortions would solve fucked up babies since America is so pro choice and women's rights.
joelthezombie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are literally an idiot aren't you?
Drugs and alcohol while pregnant are already illegal or strongly advised against.
And gay incest doesn't make them pregnant. A woman can't get a woman pregnant and a man can't get a man pregnant. So that argument you made is fucking retarded too.
and the abortion argument is stupid too.
Maybe know a bit about what your talking about next time huh bud?
Kryptlin08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs and alcohol are not illegal while pregnant.
You have trouble reading at school? Because you literally have no comprehension of what I wrote. It's like people who are replying to me don't bother to actually read what they are responding to.
joelthezombie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ya ok. Since when are drugs legal?
And as I said. They are either illegal or very strongly advised against.
Maybe you should take your own advice asshole.
Kryptlin08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you so simple minded? Drugs does not 100% mean narcotics or illegal drugs. Taking pills(drugs) it can have bad affect on the pregnancy. Once again, taking drugs are not illegal while pregnant.
Like I said, your reading comprehension sucks and you misinterpreted everything I wrote in my last 2 comments. It would feel like a time waste explaining it.
joelthezombie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And you completely ignored what I said yet again because you refuse to be proved wrong.
I'm done with you. Maybe one day you will learn that you learn more by admitting your wrong sometimes.
crrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
inbreeding =/= birth defects.
inbreeding with some pre-existing bad genes/defects == birth defects.
Inbreeding does exactly what it seems like it would-- It simply spreads the genetic material of that family. If there's some defect/bad gene, it will be from both parents, and therefore it will be both the dominant and recessive gene. This means it's simply more likely to spread a bad gene compared to "outbreeding", as a bad gene could possibly be the recessive gene instead.
Now pregnancy, that's the real problem here. Pregnancy creates a major conflict of interested, and an STD is detrimental to a family's gene pool.
Kellianne ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am simmering. You cannot possibly compare the two. Gays are consenting adults. That's the point-it is none of anyone's business what someone's sexual practices are. A child does not consent to incest. You could care less what people do? And if someone breaks the law? Say murders someone? Sells drugs to your 10 year old kid? Rapes your mother? Or so you not care as long as it won't affect you? A narrow view of the world indeed.
Kryptlin08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf? I don't think you know what the definition of incest is.
crrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
What if the two people involved in an incestuous relationship are both consenting and over 18? Incest doesn't necessarily mean underage. And even then, both cases involve consenting adults exercising their rights to explore their own sexuality within the confines of their own home.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest isn't, by definition, non-consensual and pedophilic. It's just an unfortunate reality is that many cases come from a father abusing his preteen daughter, or an uncle sodomizing his young nephew.
Now, two siblings that are both 18 or above and fully consenting? It's gross, sure, but let them do what they want, so long as no children are conceived from it.
MaggotCorps999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Confederate flag. Zero fucks given, seriously. It's just a piece of cloth.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. Put up the Nazi flag if you want. I don't fucking care. As long as it isn't in a public place by a public entity, and you aren't harming anyone in any way (offending someone doesn't constitute harm), then what's it matter?
Will I think you're a racist, sick, stone-hearted piece of shit for having a swastika on your front lawn? Yes. Will I think you're an ignorant, proud redneck for having a confederate flag? Also yes. Maybe I'm judging too harshly. But just as I have a right to think those things, others have the right to put up whatever flag they fucking want. I don't like it, I don't think it's a good idea, but hey. It's your property. Do what you want.
MaggotCorps999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a amen?
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
amen
MaggotCorps999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a hallelujah?
hauskittay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pooping in a public women's restroom. We all know we don't poop rainbows and roses. The bathroom is a designated spot to release your bodily whut-whuts I refuse to clench all day. We poop. We ALLLLLlllllll poop. And spraying perfume over your poof just makes the bathroom smell like a strip club, but still poopy.
Keneneq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in public. Gotta go man
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, ALL kinds of No.
nastus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about wages with a co-worker, never really cared if I made more or less than the next guy as long as I think I'm being fairly compensated.
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some companies actually have policies against this.
HydroFracker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory in the USA. How can we as a society have come so far even legalizing gay marriage, yet the idea of being in a relationship with more than one person is still taboo?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:00:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HydroFracker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just like it shouldn't have to pay for men and women in fake same-sex marriages trying to get benefits. What's your point?
Zoinkerbob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose! I wouldn't want someone doing it in front of me, but come on, its WAAAYYY more effective than just blowing.
bacon_therapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you have that one that just won't come out and you've gotta reach in there and dig it out!
ClosetedImperialist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty and not smiling.
The not smiling thing is simple if I don't want to smile, I'm not going to, if you don't want to smile that is fine(most smiles are fake anyway).
But the honesty thing is different. I'd rather you tell me the truth even if it hurts so that I can improve myself, and the same the other way around, you need to be open to blunt truth even if you don't like it, so you can grow on it. Like if you look bad, you'd want me to say my honest opinion, if you didn't want my honest opinion, its not worth asking for, and much less worth answering. Of course there are lines you don't cross, but those lines need to be redefined.
Skram333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Super late to the party but I can and don't mind nearly any subject being discussed while eating.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could say the same. I have a very visual mind, so talking about certain things (details about a surgical procedure, messy injury, or the like) really can and will make me very nauseous.
Stupid stomach.
Shadow_Wave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sleeping in your car. Perfect way to spend a road trip or in an emergency.
LDM123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watching kid shows as a teenager/adult. I'm 15 and I should have the right to enjoy The Last Airbender dammit!
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, playing with toys as an adult/teen. It's a bit weird, yeah, and may be indicative of some psychological issue, but hey, do what you want.
AbsolutlyN0thin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do agree, i'm 21 and still like seeing avatar reruns, it's a good show.
LDM123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand if you're an adult and you watch something like Fanboy and Chum Chum then you need to get your head checked.
UCFknightfinmarlin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be okay if nudist were allowed to walk wherever they wanted naked.
haithy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping food in sauce.
crrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
..there it is. thank you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
radar2670 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I have been married 25 years. I have never even raised a hand at her but I have always told her that "I will never hit you but if you hit me first, then you put yourself in a man's place and I am gonna knock your ass out" She thought this was completely reasonable.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disagreed. A man hitting a woman and a woman hitting a man- those two things are not equivalent.
A man is typically much stronger and tougher than a woman. He can do more damage. Way more damage. If he punches her, that ain't the same thing as a woman punching him.
Now, if she shoots him with a loaded gun and he punches her in a rage- that I can forgive. In that case, her violence exceeded his.
I'll get tons of downvotes for this but I don't care. Bring them on!
crrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying that women are weaker than men? That's a pretty bold generalization.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:52:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is 100 percent true. That is a fact.
Even a child could see it.
crrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know what to... wow.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:33:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell are you even arguing this?! This is beyond dispute!
If, for instance, a woman punches her paraplegic husband, I'd obviously be 100 percent on his side. He's the weaker party in this situation.
If, for instance, a woman beats her 10-year-old son, I'm 100 percent on his side. He's weaker than she is.
But if it's the average adult man vs. the average adult woman...she's weaker than you. Show restraint.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
brildenlanch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like 40 people said incest, including me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you need to adjust your genitals in public, go for it. I don't care as long as you're not waving them in my face.
paul_maybe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public or semi-public nudity.
All beaches should be nude beaches. People should be allowed to walk around their yards naked if they want. It's just the human body. We all have one!
v0rtex- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
False. I am still not 100% convinced that I have one.
nmd809 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that doesn't involve being a dick. Fuck society and their nonsensical standards
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never wash my hands
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide. It's literally nobody's business but your own.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that it's illegal is fucking insane.
What are they going to do? Sue a corpse?
We should generally try to save those who would kill themselves, because life can and does get better, but at the end of the day, a person should be free to kill themselves if life has become that unbearable to them.
I get outlawing the type of suicides where you blow your brains out in front of a bunch of children at a puppy store, but suicide in general? Come on, now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, then that's different.
Sorry for spreading misinformation, and thanks for educating me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Preach on, brother! It's an absurdity that we force individuals to endure pain beyond which we would mercifully put a beloved pet down out of mercy.
No one but you knows the pain that you endure on a daily basis. No one but you should be able to choose whether or not you continue to endure it.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I'm healthy, but I ever get that kind of sick, I'd want to be allowed to die when I choose, with as little pain as possible.
It's sister, by the way. But if calling me bro makes you happy, then go for it. Brother, sister, mother, father, good dog...whatever floats your boat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
See, this is what I get for making uneducated assumptions. My apologies.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No worries. I was just poking fun. I don't give a flying shit what you call me. I realize the tone came off as serious, but really I meant it in lighthearted jest.
Huwbacca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public displays of affection... Eat their face off, you never know when you won't be able to. Everyone either has done it, or wants to do it so who the he'll gets to day you can't have a good old face moistening in public.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not answering the door when someone knocks. If I'm not expecting you, my face you will not see.
Littlewigum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women getting hit when they are the aggressor and the other person is only defending themselves.
AwesomeBrownGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty late but, Dark Humor. It's not like you REALLY mean it. Personally I enjoy it and believe it should be acceptable, everybody is laughing on the inside, why not on the outside too.
Polite_Werewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My personal opinion is that as long as you don't hurt anybody else physically, psychologically, or financially, you can do whatever the hell you want.
I haven't been able to find a hole in this logic so far.
ScottStillz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying the word retarded
SilentCheech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
therealjgreens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dippin in a cup is much better than cigs
wontonsoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sending thank you notes after a wedding or other event. You said thank you when I handed you the envelope. No need to write it down on cards you spent a couple hundred more on. I know you don't really care, and that's just fine.
Captain_Aizen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding in public. Go on and pull a tit out, I so don't care and I don't know why others should either. "Oh but think of the kidz, my god what if they see!" So fucking what, they were sucking on them for a meal a couple years back, but they aren't allowed to see one?
scubahana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's so backward! Boobs are allowed to be everywhere in a sexualised sense (they sell everything from cars to clothing) but they're not allowed to be used for their actual purpose. RAWR.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. Not in a pervy way, but I don't see why it's such a big deal. It's more comfortable to be naked and it's less sexualized when it's not a dirty secret.
concussed_cowboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cigs, Dip etc You do you man.
itonlygetsworse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thoughts?
seewolfmdk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh....yes?!
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:38:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell no!!!
Look at what happened with Ray Rice and his fiancee. She lightly punched him. And he punched her so hard, she was knocked unconscious.
Men are bigger and stronger than women. Woman on man and man on woman- they are not equivalent! Not at all!
If she punches you, she maybe gives you a bruise. If you punch her, you might kill her.
The two acts are not the same.
Cure4theEn3my14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's right to punch her back but to defend yourself by grabbing her arms or something should be okay.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely!
Malfeasant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to introduce you to my sister. She once beat a guy unconscious with a bike lock, and all she got was a black eye.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If that story is true, she's the exception to the rule.
The average man could easily take the average woman.
Hell, a 13-year-old boy could beat up the average woman.
Malfeasant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i would wager that
womenpeople who randomly start fights are always the exception to the rule- so why not make another exception and defend yourself?itonlygetsworse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok how about an equal strength punch? Ray Rice is an extreme example.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm...even if the punches were equal, a woman is much smaller and weaker.
She usually can't stand the punches equally well.
itonlygetsworse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:29 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about a equally weak punch?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:53 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I guess that is fair enough.
scubahana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing around kids. Language is language and is a tool to be wielded when trained properly with it. You will never be able to shield your children from it completely and making it taboo like that will just make them want to use those words more.
ksadeck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with talking about finances and with people asking me how much I make and etc.
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never saw the big deal this either. I guess some people feel embarrassed that they may make less than the person asking.
RiotMontag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone with more than one Significant Other, preferably when everyone's on the same page about that.
CultureVulture629 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I find incestuous relationships to not be a big deal. At least with siblings or cousins (cross-generation adds the power imbalance which muddies things up). Two consenting adults = fine by my book.
In other words, the only thing Jaime and Cersei did wrong was pass their kids off as Baratheons (aside from all that other terrible shit they do).
gritodedolores1946 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping in public. What's the point of drinking carbonated drinks if I can not let out a large belch?
TheyOnlyHateIfUGreat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat at the dinner table. Really, you want to see the top of my head that bad?
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This!
bthtbh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh....heroin. Or drugs in general really.
Popsucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
More people are tolerant of homosexuals than homophobia. I'm ok with homophobic people and their right to protest.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Knuckle cracking or any bones for that matter. I don't know what the issue is, honestly it relieves my tension so why the hell not?
Joshywah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying goodbye. I'm just awkward at it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Meth is unbelievable in moderation. Of course everyone flips thier shit the minute someone even says the word.
Common responses
"do weed man weed is healthy its just a plant"
"you have to stop using that honey pops another xanax/whatever"
"wait... you seriously do meth?"
Cure4theEn3my14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can see that, but meth in moderation would be extremely difficult.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree there, I think the secret is to stop doing it when you're in a bad headspace but that is... Extremely difficult.
EgonIsGod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Violence. Euthanasia. Total drug legalization.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
EgonIsGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't start parties, nor am I the guy with all the social connections, but I am the one who figures out how to get beer to come out all the taps.
sharkcrayons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eating with your hands. who cares
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to be gross, but I think consensual incest between adults is perfectly acceptable.
VannaTLC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory
14UR3N ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm asked a question while chewing, I cover my mouth and answer immediately instead of waiting to swallow first. I don't know why I feel that it is ruder to wait 10 seconds to answer than to respond with your mouth full, but yeah, I do that quite a bit. To be fair, I don't talk with food in my mouth otherwise.
HGStormy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a shut-in that doesn't talk.
poompk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously hating on fat people.
I'm joking please don't shadowban me. D:
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitting your kid swiftly, firmly and controlled to get them to shut the fuck up. Growing up, whenever I was a little shit my dad would smack me upside the head. We called it a "dope slap" and it was super effective.
thatismyexactfetish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls being lazy / unladylike.
Synectics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying "Bless you" when someone sneezes.
It's silly, and serves no purpose. It started as some superstition or whatever, and does not need to be said.
I refuse to say it, and people have given me weird looks when I haven't accompanied their sneeze with words of acknowledgement. If anyone should feel the need to say anything, it's the person who just sneezed in my face.
loveandmonsters ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The person sneezing should definitely be the one saying "'scuse me", I always have. Depending on public/private setting, the amount of people nearby, and if they're strangers/friends, it can be modified to either nothing, or "fuuuck". I never felt the need to say anything, I can count on one hand the number of times I've ever said "bless you" (I'm 37), the most recent one being the other day. Bartendress sneezed twice, it just came from my lips without thinking, felt strange.
che85mor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Confederate flag.
Perry_cox29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Killing your dad in a road rage incident on your way to save the city and shack up with your mum.
lifeofthemind88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory, polygamy, and polyandry. As long as all participants are consenting adults who chose this lifestyle (this excludes those indoctrinated by cult or religious leaders), why should I care? Spread the love folks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest between consenting adults.
Keetlady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I invite people over for a visit or dinner, I don't care if they bring "gift food" or not. I actually prefer they don't because sometimes their food clashes with mine or they just bring something really shitty and then I feel like I have to try it to be nice. My mother in law is an extremely heavy smoker and she brought Rice Krispie treats that tasted like cigarette smoke!
DoubleVSquared ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. There's more room out than there is in!
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking.
You want to die, go ahead. That should be your right.
courteous_coitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you wanna smoke, go ahead. Just don't do it around me because I'd like to live. More importantly, it reeks.
Spacecommander5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but like outdoors. Right?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:10:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course!
Spacecommander5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome. I love agreeing with people whom I will probably never meet. It makes the world a nicer place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Spacecommander5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. People are so repressed
muffler48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping my soup when it's too hot!
misseshaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about pooping. EVERYONE I know (except my closest girl friends) hate talking about peeing, farting, & pooping. why is that a problem? It's natural for the body to do disgusting shit....literally lol
Some people need to lighten up.
Merlord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy.
Wirocajun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest, PDA, public violence, talking openly about everything, taking off my shoes anywhere, talking to walls, getting into arguments, dancing around downtown in a pink dress and not having shaved your legs with a blonde wig because you needed to get a 'few things'.
A_New_Knight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Barefeet.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
mindscrambler26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
random women coming out of the blue to grope me...if that ever happens
pik3rob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Incest. At least between siblings and cousins. I haven't been able to come up with a concrete reason why it's wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way late to the party, but had to chime in: polygamy.
Seriously, if 4 men and 2 women want to marry each other and do so consensually, what is the harm?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
StrangeBedfellows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lesbians
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walking around naked or half-naked in your home, as long as no one sees you through the windows. And you have no guests at home.
xVoluntasx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ladies, you can burp and fart around me all you want, it doesn't bother me.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is disgusting.
xVoluntasx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
attractive
Marimba_Ani ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dudes wearing dresses or skirts or makeup or whatever "feminine" things they choose to wear/do.
I'm wearing trousers right now and I'm a woman! Scandalous!
Not really, and I hope that's how it gets for guys in skirts someday soon.
LafinAtchu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking. Primarily because nobody told me to go to the bathroom to do it, so my response was just "gotta do it when you gotta".
thewrongkindaguy77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with people living off the government . In my view our government kills so many people for bullshit that all of us should at least have the basics. I don't care who either. Smoke meth in your government paid for apartment I don't give a shit, just be happy and do whatever you want, and if doing whatever you want lands you in prison or dead that's on you since you had all your basic needs taken care of.
Vatrumyr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. It doesn't matter if your 500lbs or 100 nudity is fine.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm ok with seeing naked people in public, urination, people fighting, hearing racial slurs and swears as long as no fists are flying, and people walking around drinking or smelling of liquor and weed. The only weapon I would flee from is a large / gravity knife or gun pointed in my direction, if someone just has a holstered gun I don't have a problem - I respect him for being safe by carrying a gun.
Around here, most people who have any say politically are really against stuff like public drinking, gun rights etc. But I believe that an armed society is a polite society and not to begrudge a guy who wants to enjoy a beer. Moreover, although I'm not black, Hispanic or male, a large presence of cops bothers me because it seems disturbing. I prefer a society where people sort out their differences themselves, man to man, without involving any sort of authorities.
Also I collect discarded stuff sometimes, my father used to drive around at night to "harvest" furniture. I was raised not to go to doctors unless there's a disease present. Otherwise just get the mail-in test, collect blood at home or at a test lab But people around here (blue staters) shame me hardcore for it because it's considered taboo for them. We do fine with this, I'm under age 50, lean, and don't need a colonoscopy, lol.
Cure4theEn3my14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree fully with everything except urination. And even then, as long as you're not whipping it out or squatting right in front of me, I don't care about that either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah as long as the pee doesn't get on my shoes and I don't have to smell it. I was at a music festival before and some guys got chased by state troopers for peeing outside. I'm like wtf srs who cares
iRdumb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cousins marrying each other. It doesn't really bother me that much and is quite common in my culture (I'm from India). I only learned it was weird from my American friends.
Sqube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Way too late for this to get any traction, but: overt racism.
If you hate me because I'm black, I'd much prefer you called me a nigger to my face, rather than pretending you don't have a problem with me and having me react to dogwhistle racism.
sesquiup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about how much money I or other people make. And it's not because I'm some kind of baller. Why are we always so fucking cagey about it?
Thendofreason ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being naked
KimonoThief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing how much money you make, especially with co-workers. The way I see it, the taboo on wage talk only acts to fuck over people who don't have enough information to ask for the right salary.
november30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing my salary.
orihimik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting.
Burney1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pot
Aardvarksunited ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking. Most people do it and I just don't really care.
thehumungus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
talking about money. The only people that benefit from your income being a secret are employers that don't have to negotiate with informed employees.
123dmt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking weed in public. Also farting - farts are hilarious!
razezero1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy, let them do what they want.
Statistical_Insanity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a pretty big one: incest. Provided that all involved parties are consenting adults, and there's no fucked up emotional manipulation, I couldn't give less of a shit if you want to fuck your sister. Of course there is the argument of higher birth defect rate or what have you, but from what I understand that's highly overblown. And even if it is as big of an issue as it's made out to be, I'll add the stipulation that using protection is one of the barriers to making it acceptable.
And before someone says it, no. I do not have any incestuous leanings myself. This isn't an attempt to justify and normalize my own sexual fantasies. I have no siblings of the opposite sex.
Compoundwyrds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vaping.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Taking pictures of food.
I love to do it and that's how they get on the internet for most people who don't understand how they get there. With that being said, there are rude people who openly say OMG and laugh at what I do even though they love to take selfies with the freaking stick and will give shit to anyone who says they can't when they really shouldn't like a movie theater. I have no problem with the selfie stick (unless if it's a safety issue like riding on a rollercoaster) but I bring that up as it's seems more ridiculous than taking pics of food if I actually had a problem with the stick, yet that's more socially acceptable as it's done by members of the privileged majority (i.e. the popular kids). Not only is it rude for people to voice snide remarks but it's also hypocritical if they don't want to hear negative opinions of them taking selfies if they give people like me shit for taking pictures of food.
Quatroqtaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing
themikeswitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. I don't get what the big deal is... once in a while when I'm getting dressed it feels totally unnatural and the full scope of how weird clothing is hits me
WookieeWarriorz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping, picking ears and nose.
Silence, with no one speaking and not feeling the need to talk.
Zeigerful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not washing myself everyday. It's not like I bath in mud or something like that. I think every 2-3 days is totally fine.
Sometimes there are even times where I wash myself once a week.
TheNerdyNegro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. As long as it's not my family.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you aren't hurting anyone else I don't give a fuck what people do
kinjinsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with people asking me what I paid for stuff.
Fenris447 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bodily functions in front of the SO. Not like going out of your way to do it in front of one another, but not giving a shit if you're in the bathroom at the same time. We all do it, nothing about my body is new to her, so who gives a shit?
HRA42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not attending baby showers or kids birthday parties. As long as you decline an invitation on time, only people who actually want to go should go.
AtheosWrath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching kids about where they come from.
RedCupRonin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone, publicly or private. I do it mostly because drinking in a bar is a completely inflated rip off.
Alpha-Trion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting
lolagranolacan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Four pregnancies and I never minded people, strangers or other, touching my mid-section. I thought it was totally weird and cool that a whole person was developing in there. I never thought of it as someone touching ME, they were just excited about the new person and I happened to be there. Just sharing the wonder of life.
thelandofdreams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aparently, women are all ok with not returning phone calls or texts...
Mississloppysex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes sir, but watch out cause if she sends a text you better reply in 5 minutes
Blue_Dog_Democracy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably not the first to say this, but: smoking a little weed every now and then. I'm not convinced that indulging in a joint every now and then (I'm not talking about getting blazed out of your mind) is damaging to the body.
I do, however, draw the line at "harder" drugs like heroin and meth. Those things deserve to be illegal because they ruin families and lives.
sewingself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing nice jeans as formal wear. I should not have dresses/skirts/leggings and tops as my only formal dress options.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much this.
truenudists ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Social nudity.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably way too late to this thread, but if a woman decides to undergo multiple abortions that doesn't bother me. It's her choice.
thelandofdreams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
apparently using a blinker to merge
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was always told to do that.
JiggabooJesse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Staring at cleavage hoping for nip slips, basically
angrynewyawka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word rape in a comedic tone.
KKKimchi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
Yep.
milkham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with cursing around kids. They know all that shit as soon as they hit 1st grade anyway.
PurpleFritoPie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:53:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never understood this one either. Kids curse and hide it from adults, adults curse and hide it from kids. Can't we all just curse together?
madprudentilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing a bra.
Jexplosion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying the word "cunt"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word CUNT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Riding a fucking scooter. Not a motorbike scooter. A scooter.
It's so efficient but it's just not cool. Walking sucks and bikes are a hassle. Imagine if Dr Dre made a scooter, everyone would be happy, scooting along. Wanna go down the road to a local store? Scoot there, it's quicker than walking and it's 0 effort. Commute round the busy streets of a capital city? Scoot, fuck the traffic and your Boris bikes.
Segways nearly got it, but god damn people, accept scooters :(
BrokeMike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin my daughter.
Hiei2k7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pissing in the backyard.
Toilet's a ways away through a closed door and no one else is looking. Let that fucker fly.
Arc_Trail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks and sandals
NVAdvocate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the unusual and/or unexpected movements people with disabilities make. It's a fucking industry of bigotry thats been built to stop their perfectly natural movements.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
Sometimes you just have to get that one out.
mactal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking weed in public. As long as there are no children around and it's not a closed room where people do not have the possibillity to get out of the smoke.
notsafety ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Graffiti
We are forced to look at unhealthy images served up to us by our faceless corporate masters; a sobering 20,000 images daily.
god forbid some kid tries to paint a tag on a few mailboxes, let alone said advertising.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moving something that is in an inconvenient spot. The other day, I was at the courthouse waiting to renew my tags, and there was chair too close to the door. Everyone ran into it when they came out of the door and turned to walk down the hall. After seeing the third person walk into it, I got up and moved it a foot from the door.
People looked at me like I had divided by zero.
theluchadore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Over the top racism. I don't agree with it, but it's your right to think whatever the fuck you want.
dowhatuwant2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Political in-correctness.
pimpinassorlando ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Urinating outdoors. I think if you make some effort to hide your junk it's fine. It doesn't make you a pervert or sex offender.
B0NERSTORM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Religion
daved2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If only it were true that religion was socially unacceptable. What a world that would be
Yoshyoka ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or making fun of it
ThePotMonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking. The anti-smoker movement needs to back off. I'm not a smoker but I really don't care if someone else enjoys it. Majority of smokers are fairly considerate and will stand away from people when they light up. Also, I think if a bar/restaurant owner wants to allow smoking in his establishment then it should be allowed. If customers don't like then they should vote with their dollars and just not support it. If the business fails because of it, then so be it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You. I like you. As a smoker, the world needs more of you.
I actively avoid other people when I'm smoking. I don't stand in entrances. I'll even cross the street if a kid is coming.
Being belittled by strangers, all while going out of my way to make them comfortable, sucks beyond belief. Sometimes I want to look at them and be like "look, I could have stood in your way and blew my smoke right up your nose but I didn't. I tried to move so you didn't have to smell it. Piss off ."
But, alas, I have a hard time telling off strangers.
bigedthebad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The majority of smokers are considerate because they have been forced to. I grew up in the 60s when everyone smoked everywhere and no one gave a shit who didn't like it.
Smokers are selfish assholes who will smoke wherever they are allowed to.
ThePotMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to you, the type of asshole that makes blanket statements about large groups of people?
bigedthebad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:23:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can make certain blanket statements about certain groups of people with a pretty high accuracy. For example, black people have darker skin. A few don't but most do.
Smokers, people who in this day and age, with everything we know about how deadly cigarette smoke is, choose to smoke anyway, are idiots, pure and simple. Also, every smoker I've ever known or talked to will vehemently defend his "right" to smoke anywhere he or she wants. I've lived thru the evolution of smoking, if you let smokers smoke, they will smoke, movie theaters, churches, restaurants, bars, conference rooms, hospitals are all the same.
So, prove me wrong or shut the hell up.
ThePotMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just horrible logic and not even a realistic comparison. You're either being a troll or you're stupid. To call people who smoke stupid for doing so is what is actually is stupid. I guarantee that you do things that are just as bad for your health.
And as for proof, how about reading the other users comment on my original post. That's how the majority of smokers behave nowadays. If every smoker you've met was an asshole then it probably means you're the asshole. I can even provide more proof, just give me your name, address, and I'll introduce you to some nice people who happen to smoke.
Why don't YOU prove to me that you're the one that is correct? Find me a study that says smokers are stupid, assholes, or selfish?
bigedthebad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So you think smoking is a wise choice? You don't think smoking is dangerous?
Let's examine that. You take a dried weed, light it on fire and draw the smoke into your lungs.
Yeah, sounds like something we should teach our children to do. I wonder why they don't issue cigarettes to babies when they leave the hospital.
ThePotMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never said it wasn't dangerous. Of course it isn't a wise choice but it's their choice. People should be able to choose what they do with their own bodies. You know who else had a really strong anti-smoking campaign? Nazi Germany. You were attacking the people and not the choice. You've lost this argument already. You can't win because you're not smart enough to win. You haven't made one intelligent argument. People like you are what's wrong with the world. Quit trying to force everyone else to live be your views. I really hope you didn't procreate. So, please fuck off. I hope you get hit by a truck while crossing the street today.
bigedthebad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You realize that anytime you invoke Hitler or the Nazis, you immediately lose the argument.
I could seriously give a shit if people smoke, as long as they do it where I don't have to breathe it but that is not the case.
Since you have already invoked the Nazis and I've won the argument, I should just let it go but let me give you a little smoking history, as lived by me.
Back in the 60s, you could pretty much smoke everywhere and everyone did. Then sometime in the 80s, they started moving people around a bit. They set up smoking areas. If a smoking area happened to be in a break room that non-smokers had to access, the smokers congregated there and filled it with smoke. There was a rule where I worked that people could smoke in private offices and they did, it didn't matter how many people came in and out of their office, they filled it with smoke.
Then they sent them outside so they congregated at the doorway and you had to walk thru their exhaust to enter and exit the building.
Not once did any smoker EVER go somewhere to smoke that they didn't bother someone else, they smoked wherever they were allowed to.
Today, there are quite a few restrictions on smokers but they still smoke anywhere they are allowed to, no matter who else is around.
Smokers are assholes, stupid assholes to boot.
BTW, wishing death on me because of a simple disagreement puts you in the same category, don't you think?
ThePotMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You lost. Just leave it. Your one simple perspective is just that, your perspective. It doesn't mean all smokers are assholes it just means the people you worked with were assholes. If you really didn't care if people smoked then you wouldn't have started this debate and especially not so aggressively. And no, I'm not in the same boat as you.
bigedthebad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at a loss to how you won anything, you have provided nothing substantial to back up your assertions.
Seriously though, do you really wish me to die? Surely you're not that shallow that losing an internet argument makes you wish another person dead.
slothywaffle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose and eating your boogers. Enjoy that free snack!
acorrea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
farting. holding them in sucks
merdock379 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving without saying goodbye. I hate that tedious process of removing oneself from a social setting.
Just slip out on the sly.
herrbz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Selfies.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having as much consensual sex as you want. Who cares? Just be responsible. Nobody should be shamed for the number of sex partners that they've had or not had.
asha1985 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Confederate battle flag.
wetterwater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People of any sex using any restroom. Bathroom rules are the same for everyone: be courteous, be clean, don't be creepy. Don't shake hands.
Mokey_Maker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women going topless in public (USA).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing a bra in public. I go to work almost everyday without a bra.
DesilynnCyto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose. Each finger designed to get up in there and extract that crap.
I'm not even mad. It works.
ItsMyImPulse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blowing it rarely gets that shit out
MindSpices ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is best sorted by controversial
lovinglogs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word "Retarded"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't call retarded people retards. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded.
-Michael Scott
2po2watch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being "offensive" in general. I should be able to offend anyone I please. If my mouth gets my ass whipped, that's my problem.
Hoptional ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people the honest truth.
Yeah, I bet you'll think it's bullshit, but I'll double your bet that many people freak out (or think you're a prick) when you respond or interject honestly.
Too many people want to be lied to. Not sure why.
83xlxinsocal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cussing. I couldn't give even a half-fuck about annoying people with my language. I know it offends people. I just honestly don't fucking care. It's not that I want to "freak out the squares" or anything, it's just how I am comfortable communicating.
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While I understand your point of view, I gotta say that around kids you might wanna watch it. Parents don't really wanna explain what 'fuck' means to a four year old, and the kid's gonna ask if he hears someone say it, you know? But around adults, it's cool.
rutteh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People's kids acting up in public and the parents having trouble controlling them. I'm not a parent but we were all kids once and we all misbehaved and shit in public everyone now and again. So like basically its easier to cut the hard working parents slack because this shit is the most embarrassing for them and it's helpful to just ignore it and not look and cause then greater grief
delta109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in public. Like who cares if you are drunk and need to use a bush at 3am, no one is awake anyway so why not!
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but you need to be careful here. In some states if you're caught urinating in public and a minor is present you can be put on the sex offender registry. Overkill? Absolutely. But you gotta be careful about that stuff in today's world, man. People really over-react.
Also- I love going to the bathroom outside. I love going out into the forest to build a fort and finding a bush and PISSING or SHITTING into the open. I love wiping my ass with ferns, and it's so primal, so HUMAN- I love taking dumps in the woods, where no one can see me. I feel like I'm just another animal, surviving in the forest.
Only downside? Mosquitos on the ass. Oh, and sometimes I'll get piss on my boots, (I'm a chick, small downside), but fuck it, it's NATURE and my boots are waterproof.
10/10 would shit in the woods every day if there weren't so many MOSQUITOS.
copilot0910 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling SJWs and other protestors to get out of my way. Look, if I need to go to the store or get out the subway or just walk down the damn street, get out my way. If you're gonna get pissed about me for not caring, I'm gonna get pissed at you back. Look, you have your right to protest as much as I have my right to use the damn train and go to school.
Ratman_1967 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being alone, sometimes you need time to yourself
ZiggyBOP155 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gang members killing other gang members. In the criminal underworld you must be vicious. They know the rules and what happens if they break them. Whats the difference between soldiers killing other soldiers and a gang member killing another gang member or one of their own members who fucked up?
Quillalley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The stigma against dating cousins, especially 2nd or 3rd cousins. The risk of deformity and complications are really overblow. It's not a major risk unless you compound it over some generations like what happened with Royalty in Europe. Having a kid after 40 involves a lot more risk than with your cousin but we as a culture are less judgmental of that. Heck, we even look down on it even if there is no plans to have children. Why? It just seems "icky"? People have used to same reasoning (or maybe lack of reasoning) to judge gay and trans folk and that's unacceptable. Maeby we should be more accepting of other peoples choices when it doesn't cause any harm.
daidoji70 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Diplomatic interactions as a must.
Perhaps IT work and Open Source Software has jaded me, but after years and years of working in the space, I'd much rather deal with a competent but slightly abrasive personality than an incompetent extrovert who has no clue what they're doing.
randombitsofstars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Drinking the last of soup out of the bowl. As long as you're not slurping, who cares if you get your money's worth?
HughManatee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. I'm OK with it mostly when I do it.
sonorousAssailant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People being overly talkative and open books. I like it! I wish people would talk more about themselves.
HonkHonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting for everyone's plate to come before eating. Just eat the hot food, I know you're starving!!!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Befriending children/talking to children in public. Before I moved I'd go to the park to juggle and over the summer met 7-8 kids who came to the park fairly regularly (never met any of their parents). One time even had other adult come over, ask me and the kids there (two girls around 9 and 12) how we knew each other. When they learned we just saw each other at the park now and then they basically got the girls to leave me and come to them, then gave me the evil eye until I left. Got the evil eye a number of times from adults (ignored them).
Honestly, I figured I was watching out for the kids. They knew me well enough to talk a bit when we saw each other. And if someone with bad intentions were to try something than I was a neighborhood adult who would watch out for them. When I told them I was leaving and not coming back at the end of the summer one of them (a boy of 13 or 14) actually cried and most of them were disappointed about it. Don't ask them to come with you anywhere, but talking to kids in a public setting should be fine.
OdinsLightning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
been park ranger in city environment. met kids who were like me and the kids i knew. bandaids and advice are valuable things.
MilkyCrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing the same pair of pants every day for 2 months, unless I spill food on them. Yeah, keep laughing, Mr. laundry whore.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, and I thought one week was too long, but ended up falling into that pattern anyway... I salute you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Defying society's expectation that a boy be the stereotypical male. I've always loved pink, liked playing with dolls, never liked basketball or hockey, been a classy dresser, et cetera. I don't think that warrants questioning of my sexuality.
hezwat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women making the first move, asking me out, or straight-up initiating heavy petting out of the blue and in the middle of the conversation without prior escalation. Fuck your social mores - I got too many choices and things going on in my life, it's first come first served here.
AuraXmaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Abortion,
Edit: No, seriously. Some people who are meth heads, and people who get pregnant and know they won't try to let it survive, should be allowed to have abortions. I know I would rather be dead than either a dumpster baby or born from a Crack whore.
Goldilocks420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
picking your nose, provided you deal with the mess properly rather than sticking it to the underside of a table.
Everyone nose how irritating it is to have crap up there and how satisfying it is to pick it out.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing cheap clothing. Fuck you I don't want to spend more than I need to.
hukkit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making politically incorrect jokes.
choose_username1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weed, public nudity, peeing in public, popping in public, and cursing
crappleberrypunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Popping what in public???
choose_username1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I meant pooping
avilavita ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People not holding the door open for me (unless I'm like literally 4 steps behind them). It's usually easier just to open it myself and I don't feel like I have to rush or else I'm inconveniencing you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:44:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
smoking joints alone. weed has such a stigma, especially with the adults of my family, i wish i could openly admit when I go outside its for a jay but that would be completely off in my family, instead i just lie and sneak.
Sanhael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hateful" jokes. Racist, sexist, anti-disability, fat jokes; you see someone, and you immediately classify them. It's something we all do. Joking around about it is like venting. If you're never allowed to say something, or think it, or God forbid you continue breathing? It builds up, and you start to believe in things that you know aren't true. It's like joking about someone being black, or Jewish, or Japanese, or female, or Italian provides an opportunity to remind yourself that "that's not really accurate."
Yes, if you're gay, or trans, I will crack jokes. I don't care who you fuck or what pronouns you want to use; I really don't. If we get along I'll associate with you regardless. But you don't have the right to not be offended. You aren't special.
I have a female, half-Japanese, half-Jewish friend. The driving jokes... even by my standards, they go a little far.
Kid__curry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating off of the floor
TheMuon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping. Especially if it's consecutive.
bobrossthemobboss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
casual use of a LOT of drugs, but not all of them. (obv not like Krokodil or straight Meth or anything injected)
agent-squirrel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dating your friends ex after some time has passed. It's still a big no no for pretty much no reason. Eventually someone else is going to have to date her pal, may as well be someone you like.
herniatedballs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to see a movie by myself.
joker-lol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doing things at night (apart from going to clubs/bars). Late night walks, late night drives. Finding a cool place and just hanging out watching stars or whatever. Even just going over to a friend's place at midnight.
Bonus points for doing things in pyjamas.
Reinhold_Messner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touching boobies.
strokesfan91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not making eye contact at all times. like seriously, why is this such a big deal?
Alakazing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scratching your butt.
KEMiKAL_NSF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking alone is only a problem if you run out.
PeopleOnPaper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nose picking
sentinel101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PDAs they really have never bothered me and they seem to annoy many people.
NameIsInigoMontonya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ellen Pao
batmanisanengineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm cool with humans having flaws and depth and character.
In context, I'm from LA; the socially acceptable here is image perfection.
Shiblon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower.
"They're all pipes, Jerry! They're going to the same place!"
JesteroftheApocalyps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs. Just as long as you stay home and don't endanger anyone, no one should give a flying fuck.
Tokenofhon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racist jokes. I love racist jokes, my friends all joke about each others cultures all the time and it makes us closer, none of it is malicious in any way.
Racist joking doesnt = Racism.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public nudity is fine by me as long as they put a towel down when they sit. And no erections please!
unarmed_black_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fucking girls much younger than you (as long as their legal of course)
jellyfilledmeatballs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wish licking my plate was socially acceptable.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me too...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racism, Sexism.. Any of the 'isms'.
Let me preface this by stating I have no beef with anyone based on their race, gender, religion etc. And I also disagree with violence as a tool to show what you think, want, believe etc.
However, I think it's totally okay to hate people for absolutely any reason. Yes it's not nice, yes it spreads more hate but honestly, I don't think society should be one bubble, one hivemind and collectively we should turn around and agree to start or stop X at Y time.
The world is not a nice place and it will never suddenly be filled with love and rainbows.
DrowsyFacePalm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a man taking your daughter into the women's bathroom. I'm not going to see anything since they're all in stalls and my daughter's eye level won't also be dong level.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People's decisions on not wanting to have children.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going braless
Hhhkairu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Male nudity. If a woman's naked everyone be checking out her tits n as. If a guys naked everyone gets uncomfortable. What if I just want to have a pants off party?!
ryanasimov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone was an asshole while they were alive, don't expect me to lavish them with praise when they're dead. I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to disparage someone in front of their friends and family, but I'm not going to fake up a load of flowery sentiments just because they're no longer alive.
PaintedLadyofScots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking Pot
JdH-AU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weed
MG_72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower or pool. I know you do it.
TwN1018 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's eating alone. Whether I'm going to a restaurant or at home with the family I just have always preferred to eat by myself. I just get annoyed by noises others make while eating, and everyone constantly asking "is it good".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adjusting yourself is fine, I don't care if men / women wear the opposite sex's clothing.
T_Rash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbating on a plane... Thanks a lot Bin Laden
kittensbaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food off the floor
Smittles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At risk of being down-voted into oblivion, in this day and age of the consenting adult, polygamy just doesn't bother me. I'm cool with whatever anybody else is cool with, as long as everyone is a consenting adult. Want two wives? Hell, make it three! Gotta get some extra dick? By all means, friend! Does your husband need a husband? This is America, goddamnit. Have at it!
hitherekate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The "C" word. I don't take offense to it, nor do I care if others call me it or use it in a joking way. I think it's just as bad as other traditionally 'bad' words and never understood why it was seen as the "insult of all insults". It's literally 4 letters. Its a word.
amfoejaoiem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not having children. I want to have children someday but I don't care if other people don't.
kashiman290 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running to get from place to place
iSagittarius_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding. A lot of women get looked at strangely or get shot with dagger-eyes for breastfeeding in public.
AdviceWithSalt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cussing/swearing/cursing/whatever.
I'm an adult and if I want to swear to intensify the meaning of something, then I'm fucking doing it.
If it okay to say "fuck you" to your boss? No, but that's not because the word is offensive is because of the intention of the sentence.
Is it okay to say "This day is taking too fucking long" to your boss? Yea, but not because of the meaning of the sentence, but because you used a naughty word in there. "This day is taking too long" is perfectly acceptable.
imapirateking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stating an unpopular opinion.
KerroRo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"What type of Asian are you?" Sometimes I'm curious too..
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously though. They all look so alike, but the cultures are so different. :(
KerroRo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not sure if being sarcastic. I said what I said in the point of view of a Korean young adult who's occasionally had trouble differentiating between various East, South-East, South Asians.
Certainly asking questions about one's origins is much more acceptable than just assuming everyone with certain features in common are from China or India or Mexico
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not sarcastic. I've been in the same situation even though I'm American. I've often looked at Asians and wondered if they were Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it's just that they all look so similar but have different customs. I studied a lot of Japanese when I was younger, so I usually wish I could ask Asians if they were Japanese, but it's so frowned upon :(
PugsBugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I shake hands with my left.
turbulent_energy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you have no right!
PugsBugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
then what are we left with?
shadowjig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public!!!
Stalhound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women with hairy bodies. I dont give a shit, if you dont wanna shave, then don't. Legs, arms, armpits... Southern regions, happy trail. Dont care.
RunForrestRun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking mushrooms. They push me to self-reflect in ways that I otherwise wouldn't be able to in my everyday life. I don't tell everyone I know that I like to hallucinate, but when I do tell someone, I will occasionally see their facial expression change to a look of ill-judgement. I actually kind of feel sorry that these people won't have the opportunity experience the amazing positive effects of taking mushrooms. Just don't take too much your first time!!
moltenrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nose picking
Tin_Whiskers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holding onto bits of my childhood.
I work hard, I pay my mortgage, I'm stressed out, so fuck yes, this Optimus Prime toy and this Luigi plushy are FOR ME.
kickitlikeadidas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nudity. (in a non-sexual way)
Broda_mane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Snot rockets. It's just way more efficient
spotthj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it perfectly acceptable when my husband farts. It makes me laugh so hard that I will startle fart!
Designer94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
long relations incest.
Like cousins, the genetic difference is no reasonably higher than with a stranger.
Immediate blood and lineage family god no, but your second cousin is genitcally as different from you as a passing stranger practically.
Awlsl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing men being interested and having fun with children. I don't think of them as child molesters.
freedomsquared ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving the toilet seat up.
sosehrdabei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't mind being asked how far along I am in my pregnancy - it's not rude, I was visibly pregnant. Why do people find that rude?
Don't mind now being asked if I'd have more kids. Why the fuck is that rude?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently breastfeeding
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently doing a PhD in Maths and not enjoying it. After I finish I'm thinking about doing something fitness related. So what if it doesn't pay well and "I'm capable of doing more"? Why is it anyone else's business?
Snuggle_Moose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not in college yet, but I plan on majoring in linguistics. When I'm out, I might do the same thing and open a gym or something. I love me some lifting.
daywalker10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why not just drop out now?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost finished so I may as well keep going.
Your_Favorite_Brand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with large age differences in serious relationships. I don't see why a bit age gap is frowned upon when both parties are consenting adults.
tsuki_toh_hoshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Openly breastfeeding in public. I refused to take my children to the bathroom to breastfeed. Do you want to eat in the bathroom? ?
Im-postle-able ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing. I hate it when people say stuff like "if you need to swear to make a point then you're not worth listening to".
FUCK THAT! Swear words doesn't change the meaning of the surrounding words.
sai_sai33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy
chestbras2014 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was letting one rip said yet?
amburnikole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory
CalamitousSpider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Greeting and speaking with perfect strangers as if I've known them all my life.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people I don't know very well leap straight into talking about their feelings or whatever happens to be troubling them or whatever else rather than sticking to generic smalltalk. I think most people would find this super awkward but when somebody hits me with something like that, usually I'll just roll with it.
I think this is how I attract so many weirdos into my life.
lddake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom. I don't expect you to. When people tell me they do I always subtly pry into how often they get sick. It is always way more often than I do. I've been really sick (vomiting/diarrhea) 3 or 4 times in the last 15 years. I just have to wonder how these germophobes think the human race survived up till the invention of hand sanitizer. LOL
EatYourPain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having fewer articles of clothing on in public, for both guys and girls. I'm a guy, and I find no problem going for a run/walk shirtless or barefoot. People have come up to me and pointed it out as audacious and strange, but I just feel more comfortable and free sometimes, especially when its super hot out or my shoes are uncomfortable. I'm not all muscular and ripped and trying to show off, I've just been raised in a family that doesn't mind dressing down to be comfortable.
Thisisabadhabit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cuss words it's honestly not even that bad
Gabeeb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irish exit.
dionysian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory and polygamy. May you love freely.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
STICH666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. Doesn't bother me one bit.
clocktimer13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
POLYGAMY
If you want to marry a couple different people, and they're all consenting adults, MAH GAWD WHY NOT
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
WorthlessBaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating horse meat. Everybody I know IRL seems to have a problem with it when it's brought up. I see as equal to eating a cow though.
enigmas343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would try horse if it was offered. There are people in my life who are disgusted by the idea of consuming a horse, but they also refuse goat, so they're dumb.
Here's the real question: Would you eat a dog? This is assuming you never knew the animal in life and it was served at a reputatable restaurant.
skrilly01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weed, nudity, cuss words
Wtfisthatkid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
drugs.
Burkvest71 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and I are very independent people. I went to college, became a accountant (for the R&R lifestyle... jealous, much?) and parents divorced.
I dated but no kids. 20 years pass. 2 long term gfs come & go. My dad has a stroke at 72,pulls through. I realize that they won't be around for another decade so I had mom move in my 2 bedroom apt. I just want to be here for the last part of her life.
I'm giving her a car to drive & a roof, rent free. My dad has his new life & wife in Ky. I see him 5 times a year and couldn't be happier.
TL:DR 44 year old man invites mom to live in his house.
rich1million ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Students texting while I teach. I've done it as a student, still understood the class, now when my students do it, I just have to let it go
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Talking about salaries.
Sharing what you make isn't the end of the world as long as you aren't boasting. Corporations save money on the fact that employees think it's taboo to discuss their salary with other employees.
I don't do this, bc it's so taboo. But I wish folks would be willing to voice what their company pays them instead of getting offended.
oddMahnsta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elbows on the dining table for me or anybody i eat with. Its actually more awkward to not do it.
blackoutHalitosis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A fistfight now and again, between two willing participants.
Quizzical_Cantaloupe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm chill with saying cunt, mate.
nhs123_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing a therapist and/ or psychologist. If you're willing and wanting to see a professional to talk about issues you're going through and want to work on bettering yourself, go for it. I never understood the social stigma people showed others who was seeing a "shrink".
MotivationCheck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Confederate Flag
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People not wearing underwear.
navonodmail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Answering the door naked
ErickFTG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating alone, drinking alone, going to the movies alone. I had already done it, and thought it was normal all along.
kolzzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
being naked in public
MaximilianKohler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bestiality, prostitution, incest that doesn't result in children, assisted suicide, public nudity, etc..
nonconformist3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity, I just don't care. If everyone walked around nude or just a few people, I wouldn't give a shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Readjusting in public. 2 seconds of shifting your junk to a better spot is fine. It's required for comfort and isn't anything other than a guy trying to get right.
But... Any more than 2 or 3 seconds and you're playing with it, which isn't cool.
socceroos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Opposing gay marriage because of my religious beliefs.
SunshineLammi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about poop and farting. Everyone does it. So long as you're not being obnoxious about it, if you're having problems with your poop or you have to fart and you can't hold it in, just do it. Why do people have to be so against talking about it?
Dreekius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently it's socially unacceptable to ask people their religion. But as a religious studies MA student... That's always within the first 10 questions I ask people. I just have a curious interest in knowing and yet apparently that's social taboo.
Starwarsjunkiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to the nude beach or just being nude in front of other people. Who fucking cares?
Saintbaba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose! Bro, there's gunk in there. I'm supposed to just walk around with gunk in there? I can feel it all sticking to things and shifting around. Honestly, i don't know how people don't pick their noses.
inthesandtrap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids being loud and playing in public. They should be allowed to be kids for as long as possible.
MonicaGreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I won't mind talking about salary with my friends. I think by talking about our salary, we can know the welfare in different workplaces so that we may have the chance to choose a better job for ourselves.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Magazines telling girls not to wear crop tops if their stomachs are not flat.
I am 5'2 and 112 pounds. I cannot wear empire waist dresses, bubble skirts, or long dresses with vertical stripes. The reason I know this is because of magazines. It has been good advice. Why buy something giving you advice if you're going to instantly scream it's sizist?
Crop tops are for slender girls. It's hard to wear them if you're extrmely athletic or have a pregnant-looking belly. They slip over girls with no body fat and look good. I can wear them sometimes, but mostly, I accept that they're not for my body type.
CptWhiskers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
5'2 and 112 isn't considered slender?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would say that I am, but there's a kind of willowy frame that fits them best.
I can wear them and own one or two, but sundresses are mostly what I wear, as well as pleated skirts and blouses.
CptWhiskers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yeah. I was just wondering. Like 5'2 112 is definitely still in the slender category. I can see where you're coming from though. I'm sure it looks fine haha.
megalynn44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower. It just feels right.
wanmoar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
asking a coworker how much they make.
SilverLoonie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing pajamas is public
NameLessTaken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not pretending to like me if you don't. I mean, don't be a dick, but there's almost a weird anti-friendship when people don't have to fake it and then talk behind eachothers backs. If I annoy you tell me. Otherwise I will probably continue to annoy you.
kasim42784 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
vengeance.
i know we should all be bigger men and rise above the pettiness but sometimes, this seems like the most effective and gratifying way to get a point across.
lovingmonday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling someone their weaknesses and strengths. I feel this if done objectively really helps a person to grow.
Mewing_Raven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Promiscuity. Be honest and be safe, and beyond that it's all gravy.
Warbec ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. no really
guapomole4reals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls that fart in public
tjhenn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not shaking hands when meeting some one. I'm ok with a fist bump. Or a "hi" and a nod. I don't need to touch your sweaty palms.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I pour the milk in first because I'm wild as shit.
wordswithmagic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watching movies alone. God damn it, I love it. There is, infact, no point in bringing along someone, as the concentration should be on the movie, and nothing else.
DrunkOldGamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to LAN parties to get drunk and game... in your mid 30's
People treat you oddly as if to say 'What? You still play video games?'
I mean gaming is a Culture, people go over to mates places to watch sport and stuff.... why is gaming seen as something kiddies do?
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess since real people are playing sports, whereas games are just bits of code on a screen you interact with.
Doesn't make a real difference for the need for stigma though. Kind of wish our culture would see video games in the same light as sports.
runninron69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ric1live ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all drugs should be legal.
Heroin and meth are pretty much life-ruiners.
grubas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Toplessness, I have to enforce a one piece rule for my female guards even though NY is a top free state. My male guards are running around and there is no problem.
A Nipple will destroy the world.
lilywalker10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating something that fell on the floor, not showering every single day hmmm damn I'm gross
ngshq93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People forgetting to pay me small amounts of money they have borrowed.
That is if the failure to recall is genuine and the amount of debt in question does not affect my livelihood. After all, money is printed paper.
mkbadker09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spanking children...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding
GunNNife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
STOP MICROMANAGING HOW YOUR KIDS PLAY. Seriously, kids can play together without your interference--they probably won't stab each other.
EspritFort ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Declining peoples' invitation to event x because you're simply not in the mood.
Not contacting someone to give them best wishes for their birthday. If I'm/you're not going to do it personally with a handshake, I/you might just not do it at all.
jennui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abruptly canceling a meeting as soon as it becomes clear that other parties have come unprepared. I am not here to read you your email/walk you through starting a spreadsheet.
cgaskins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing a bra
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding. I see so much heated debate about it. But as much as I try to relate and understand the feelings of people who hate it, are disgusted, or are even just mildly put off by it, I can't seem to even begin to imagine what it's like to feel that way.
HoundDogs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "Fuck" in public. It's a great word. I like it. Fuck you.
Picking my nose aggressively.
Picking my underwear out of my ass crack in public....aggressively.
Farting in public. Aggressively.
I don't do these things because I don't want to offend the snowflakes around me but I'd like to.
emmaensign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RocktimusCrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about Job Earnings. Who cares? The only people this effects are higher-ups who use it as negotiating leverage because you don't know what other people in your company make.
betterspacewalrus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose, don't care it's part of your body
Tatsukun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity, unisex bathrooms, anything that the puritans were scared of is generally fine with me.
MarkedWithPi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Garlic breath.
mettal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying whatever you want
Nrossi21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cocaine
niffrig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity
JCrusty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men standing next to each other in public bathroom urinals. I don't really understand what's the big deal, every non-transexual and non-castrated male has a private part.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a personal space thing. I'd be irritated if a guy walks up and starts pissing in the urinal next to me if there are others open. I'm just not a fan of having my personal space needlessly invaded.
craigpacsalive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Blowing my nose into a fabric napkin at a restaurant
Tuesday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. Everybody does it and so do I.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
speaking openly about abortion.
Mack-Sauce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're driving in your car... You fucking pick your nose like there's no tomorrow. Doesn't bother me because the boogies aren't in my car so dig mf, dig.
Possum_Jankins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are two types of people in this world. People who pee in the shower and dirty fucking liars.
David35207 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public nudity
JohnLeTigre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Overlapping conversational style
SpencerBeberman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a socially awkward person who sucks at speaking, not verbally saying thanks for opening a door. A simple head nod should suffice.
ptwonline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racist (sexist, etc) jokes, as long as they aren't especially unfair and mean-spirited.
I think most people like them but are often afraid to admit it in this atmosphere of political correctness.
Type40BlueBox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty okay with incest honestly. Like I would never do it, but I don't really see a problem with it. I never really have, and I don't really know why people do. Like yeah they might have a fucked up kid but I mean they don't have to have kids, and as long as it's just a few folks it's not gonna be detrimental to society if they do. I guess if I was a parent of two and they started fucking I'd be uncomfortable but I don't know why I'd be excluding the social stigma, so I don't think that's a good argument against it.
JizzerWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not so much a social stigma as it is an evolutionary no-no. We're "supposed" to be hard-wired to be disgusted by our siblings to prevent having retarded/deformed/unhealthy babies.
G_Stardust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clippin' my nails while walkin' down the sidewalk. Ain't no thang, it's outside!
contrapositiveowl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disagreeing with people in real life (e.g. outside of Reddit). Something about today's culture values silent harmony over discourse and mutual teaching. If we disagree, at least one of us is going to be wrong. It's good to discuss why and move towards a better understanding.
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bragging about the amazing poop you just took! This is best when you are at parties and you know everyone else is going to smell it.
eta_lyrae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. I think consenting adults should be allowed to do whatever the fuck they want.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!!
meiravesen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I give no fucks
m2hb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling the truth.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women not wearing bras.
If they have small breasts, they don't need them.
Society should be ok with that.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making "inappropriate" racial jokes.
When, for instance, I joke about Mexicans being in prison, selling drugs, being illegal or raping, I am just kidding.
I have nothing against Mexicans. I have no hatred towards them whatsoever. I believe in civil rights for them.
But those jokes are funny.
Offthepoint ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christians.
thisisnotcreative ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing. Most of us are thinking those words, anyway. Bleeping on TV is so stupid (or using substitute words) because you still know what they meant originally. Just let them say what they were originally saying!
gayt0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kissing your dogs on the nose/snout. Like, as long as you're not shoving your tongue down their throats, it's not a biggie. Trust me, that toothbrush of yours is infected with much more fecal matter than my adorable, unreasonably obedient and socially proper Australian Shepherd.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Birth control.
We have WAY too many people as it is.
You shouldn't even have a prescription for it. Women just have to swallow a pill a day. That's easy enough to understand.
Getting birth control should be as easy as getting M and Ms. It should be available on every pharmacy shelf in America.
Also, I don't get why the morning after pill (Plan B) requires a visit to a pharmacy counter. Why does the woman behind the counter need to hand it over to the man or woman buying it? Putting a middleman between people and their pills is very obnoxious. It just adds time and trouble.
Just put it on the bloody shelf! What if the pharmacy counter is closed?!?!?!
People need that shit. The government shouldn't be playing games with their pills.
Sanhael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how the same people who argue that birth control is evil because you're preventing the possible conception of a human being don't give a fuck about that person from the moment they're born.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not entirely true.
My Roman Catholic friend is super against birth control and abortion.
He cares about living people, too.
Sanhael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
That makes one, though I've typically found Catholics to be more reasonable than American... whatever you call our Bible-thumpers. I'd say "Baptists" but it's not restricted to them.
If they'd just stop raping the literal entire population of various rural towns' worth of young boys, I'd like them a lot more.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You seem to assume that there are no people who are both Catholic AND American. Those groups sometimes overlap, you know.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the word you are looking for is "Protestant"?
Also, not everyone who is a religious nut (or Protestant) is American. There are plenty of Protestants outside of the US.
Also, while I agree that Roman Catholics are generally better than fundie Protestants and evangelicals, I wouldn't give them that much credit for being reasonable.
I was raised Roman Catholic. I heard Catholics refer to homosexuals as "perverts", "insane", "mentally ill", "pedophiles" and "deviants" quite often.
UniversityOfPi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like the shampoo kit for pubic lice in 'Louis' no one would ever buy it (they'd steal it).
ComeNoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texting someone back immediately if you see their message immediately. The "Don't look eager" rule makes no sense to me. Do we sit in silence for fifteen or so minutes between lines of dialogue in real-life conversations?
Meagan09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meth
padfootnprongs91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. As long as you're discarding the booger in a manner that doesn't effect anyone else, who cares? Sometimes tissues just aren't enough.
GoodWilliam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
questioning the official story.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spitting on the ground outside. Whether male or female. Humans salivate. It's normal.
fruitynoodles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nickleback. If a fan wants to listen to a song, I'm okay with it.
pyropunk2006 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The gays
Watermelon_Pink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping. Unless you just ate garlic-soaked onions, it's not gonna smell bad!
edcxsw1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being SINGLE your whole life.
Droctosquiddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being "slutty" or "a whore". Like, whatever man, just do you as long as you're safe about it. If you like sex then who am I to judge? Sex is awesome
parissyndrome1988 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a (moderate) drunk
trailermotel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Camel toe. Girls have a cleft running down the center of the exterior of their genitalia, and the most common cut/style of our pants touches our crotch, but it's gross and hilarious if that cleft ever shows through our pants. Yeah, done always checking for that one.
Hrushka13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Discreetly peeing in public. I gotta go and I don't want to use a porter potty because I find unsanitary and gross. I would much rather squat behind a bush (I am a female)
raymie_y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Use of the word 'cunt'. I just do not understand why it has such a bad rap in the US.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it is extremely anti-woman.
People who say that hate women.
proggieus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
orโฆ.
we just like the word "cunt".
Sandwichfeet93 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:46:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol no
hydrogen_won ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating before everyone at the table gets their meal. I'm hungry and you'll get your food in a minute.
Aperfectmoment ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Salary, polotics, religion, the fact that I tried drinking my own pee once, jokes (sexist, racist, especially jokes on my race, all jokes so long as they arent loaded with bad emotions when spoken.)
Kalepsis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Multiple simultaneous serious romantic relationships.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You want to date 2 women at once? Go ahead.
Why should I give a fuck about something that doesn't affect me in the least?!
Paul277 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs.
Long as you do them in private I don't give me a shit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing what you want to wear.
Fedoras, trench coats, uncomfortable goodwill suits that don't fit the occasion. Seriously, you guys let this shit bother you way too much.
Unless you're being a dick about it, you're free to express yourself however you like fedora-wearers of reddit, don't let the "m'cringey euphoric gentlesirs" of reddit get you down, you rock that fedora.
EEdwardNigma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing. For fucks sake mate, its just a word. And don't give me that "Swearing means you've nothing smart to say" bullshit.
wwildflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!! Just because I'm cussing doesn't mean that I'm not speaking eloquently!!! Also I guarantee that I'm more intelligent than anyone that has ever been offended by my cursing.
SLappyPAncake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The readjusting ones balls or tits.
XeioZism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All drugs being legal. Consensual crimes are such a waste of our money and it destroys people's lives when the worst thing about illegeal drugs is being caught with them.
saint_maria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking. A-okay with me. Just don't wipe it on my furniture.
busterbluthOT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to a movie alone or eating at a restaurant alone.
PapaFern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Putting elbows on the table while at dinner
Menolydc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU. sometimes I need the extra support for that gigantic burger I'm shoving down my throat.
metalface84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ignoring or speaking only out of necessity to ppl you see on a daily basis. I see ppl at work whom I have nothing in common with and no interest in talking to. Most ppl feel obligated to at least engage in small talk but I don't think it's necessary.
Scottz0rz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing in a casual, adult setting. Jesus fucking Christ, why is it such a big deal if I drop an f-bomb in a casual setting? I'm not gonna call someone a cunt at a fancy fucking dinner party or teach 7-year-olds the word "fuckface." If a PG-13 movie is allowed to say "fuck", and everyone present is at least 15, you can shut right the fuck up, dumbass.
Aietra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat inside. Maybe society just needs better hats.
Staying in my pyjamas on a Saturday when I have no intention of leaving the house. What's the big deal, really? My home, my castle.
KrishaCZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:53:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
LSD and shrooms, but not smoking.
widermind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:34:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Deciding to not have children. I.E. being childfree.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We should thank those people.
We are vastly overpopulated as it is.
Call_Me_A_Stoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:47:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have absolutely nothing against any type of drug use, heroin, meth, pcp or anything else as long as you hurt no one else but yourself, then it's none of my fucking business.
It's like Kevin Smith says "Handle your fuckin' high".
As long as you can get buzzed, come back to world, shit I don't care if you're an addict, as long as you can function I've nothing against you, and if you can't function my thing against you isn't "They're a junkie" it's "They're an asshole".
This may go back to my general dislike for alcohol, actually that's the only thing I find inherently bad.
Way I look at it is, if I'm driving home at night, and I know 10% of the people on the road around me are on something, I'd feel far safer if that something's coke or ice, as opposed to liquor.
SilverbackRibs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not listening to music. I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times
N0TIMET0EXPLAIN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying your honest opinion.
FinnscandianDerp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding
que_pedo_wey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks and sandals.
KairiElectra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling someone a cunt. If you're a cunt, it needs to be said imo.
Hon3y_Badger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to movies alone. I'm married with two young kids, if my wife and I get time for a date I'm not wasting that time in a movie theater. I love going to movies and generally go after everyone at home is asleep.
RNAPII ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nobody over the age of 25 is going to judge you for this. Most people do it from time to time.
TheSkippySpartan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Customers on the phone when i serve them (liqour store )
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Drugs. Specifically introspective journeys with and developing outward connections with psychedelics / entheogens.
CasiInAPumpkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Avoiding eyecontact. I'm fine with talking while looking at the ground.
Flikky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My SO started out self conscious about picking his nose or his belly button or scratching down below. I don't care at all. Gotta do what ya gotta do.
rickfromcincinnati ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being unpatriotic. I really am not proud to be an American. I disagree with our foreign policy/wars, and the way we treat our citizens. I love the way America was intended to be initially, but it is now a bastardization of those principles.
I don't stand for the pledge of allegiance, I don't honor the troops, etc. I don't really intend to be offensive, I just don't agree with it, so I conscientiously and quietly object. I wish I could be more open about it, but it would be social suicide.
jonos360 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is something I don't understand about my American friends (I'm Canadian). The most patriotic thing one can do is dissent, especially in the US where that was basically the founding principle of the nation. Not sure why others have an issue but good on you for bucking the norm.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you want people to be more open about? People are pretty open about everything you listed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yulin Dog Meat Festival
coolc00lcool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a booger, something in your teeth, or food or something on your face I'm going to tell you. I hate it when I get home or in the car and look in the mirror and I have a booger in my nose and not one of the 30 people I talked to that day said anything. Its much worse to realize that everyone you saw that day definitely noticed as opposed to one person being like "hey, you've got something right here"
memeandi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
being late
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Playing with another person's kid.
I once did that and someone yelled "What are you doing?! Leave the boy alone!"
All I was doing was playing catch. Nothing more.
KrisKrox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not talking to friends for an extended period of time.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food if it will be thrown away anyhow.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Helping the homeless.
When I give them money and food, some people take issue with it.
They say "Why did you give that homeless man money?!"
Cause MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, THAT'S WHY!!! It doesn't concern you! Mind your own affairs and not mine!
eine666katze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women being topless or breast feeding in public- they're just boobs. Stop holding them to this sexual idolized level. Unless it's being rubbed it's just a body part
crrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:11 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What does it become after it's been rubbed?
eine666katze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:32 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sensual/sexual
lucasmate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
When people object to it, I say "Not your business! Mind your own business!"
They are just jealous, really.
lucasmate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jealous that one can be so comfortable in his/her own body.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jealous that another guy is getting laid by more than one woman.
They wish they had that, too.
lucasmate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my position yes, but I've also experienced people simply not understanding how folks can be happy in committed yet open relationships.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitting your kid once in a while.
Some of them really deserve it.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excluding children from dinner.
They don't want to fucking listen to adults talk about boring adult shit.
They don't want to hear about politics, the election, the economy, how you pick your ties, your golf game, football games, your boss, your office's office politics, your co-workers, your spreadsheets, how you drive to work, what's in the tea, none of that shit.
And on the flip side of the coin, the adult guests don't want to nanny a little brat. They want to hang with their adult friends and destress from work, not play Mary Poppins on their one day off work.
Telling the children "Here's a plate of food. Go play in the backyard while the adults talk." is totally acceptable.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting high on prescription pills. That's totally fine in my book, as long as you aren't addicted.
ebolalunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would you say that about all drugs then?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes. Heroin, meth, coke, pot- they should ALL be legal.
ootchang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. I mean, I don't want to shake your hand right afterwards or whatever, but what's the big deal? Everyone does it, and our fingers evolved to fit in our noses.
Jakenator1296 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing. Especially in front of kids. They'll learn it eventually, and trying to shield them from it will just make them want to swear more when they learn that they're considered "bad words".
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:20 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! Here's one I forgot!
To some people, it is socially unacceptable for a man to initiate a handshake with a woman. A woman always offers first.
My response: Get out of my face with that fucking bullshit! This isn't 1950, it's 2015.
dirtmouth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:46:56 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as a general rule, drugs.
juicestand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:04 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast Feeding in public
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:07 on August 6, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pulling up your zipper if you think it's down in public
The_Kazekage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:34:27 on August 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Step siblings liking each other. I don't get why its such a taboo especially when their teens when thy become step siblings. There just tw random strangers not related by blood
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:23:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest and polygamy. You can love and marry whoever the hell you want, it doesn't affect me.
zawata ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:58:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree with incest but agree with polygamy.
Incest can not only be socially wrong but give way to health problems in the event of a pregnancy.
Affecting other people however I do agree with that. Even if it is wrong, it isn't your business so stay out it
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:02:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy in theory but unfortunately in practice it tends to be exploitative towards the women.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Pravus_Belua ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:04:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really believe words can't hurt?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:10:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Pravus_Belua ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If only it were that simple. That may be how it works for you, and that's great, but it's been my experience that it doesn't work that way for many others. Myself among them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:25:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Pravus_Belua ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:40:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a minority and words have been used, going back to antiquity, to remind the various minorities that they are seen as less-than, undeserving of the full measure of what society offers. Some of them branded by these words used as the very justification of their harsh treatment. "I can do whatever I want to you, nobody will care. You're just another useless <Insert epithet here.>"
When you grow up hearing those words, or phrases, again and again, the constant reminder that you are their inferior (For whatever arbitrary reasons) the words do start to gain a power.
It's not like I one day decided that from that point forward words have power. They just do, by virtue of what they are: communication.
If you believe that words cannot hurt, because they lack the power to do so, then you have to also believe they lack the power to inspire or to heal? History is peppered with moments where it was words, not missiles, that helped turn a tide. Moments where "mere words" were used to mend a plight or right a wrong.
Words have immense power, since they are the foundation of how we communicate, whether we like it or not. Refusing to accept that our words have power gives us license to use whatever words we want while excusing ourselves of the responsibility for what we're saying. Since, after all, it's not my fault if this word affects an entire demographic, that's on them.
Removing ourselves from the responsibility of how people are affected by what we say to them is a very dangerous, and slippery, slope. I'd strongly urge you to at least give it some further thought.
CarmakazieCthulhu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:04:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying things that aren't PC. I think political correctness is the bane of modern society.
sexylady29 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:48:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cussing in front of children
Frost134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friends always harp on me for this when we're in a a store or something. Their parents probably cuss plenty and the little bastards are gonna learn it regardless.
baconfall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yep I can agree with this. I have never in my life known somebody who cussed as much as my father. He isn't unstable or angry or anything. He is perfectly normal it's just that a man's gotta cuss sometimes you know. Besides the kids know what cuss words mean it's not like you are going to soil their soul itself for saying fuck in front of them.
Fritzed ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:09:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shaming people for having too many kids.
njgreenwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the end of the world, but I've known people who just do it for the government check. That's annoying.
Capsize ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:32:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This will sound weird, but other people committing incest.
Most people including myself have a natural distaste for the idea of sexual activity with anyone we grew up with, but if two consenting adults don't have that natural disgust then all power to them. Who am I to tell people who they can and can't love.
And yes I'm aware of the increased chance of genetic anomalies, but we don't tell people with huntingtons they can't have children, do we?
IwishIwasaDoge ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:25:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zoophilia, depending on the situation. A chick isn't hurting her dog, and how could you think the dog has to be forced into anything? Seems kind of obvious they should just be left alone to their privacy.
And consent is an issue? Even if that was true, it's odd. Then again, I do understand how you can't purchase a pet without first getting her consent to be owned, then you have to get her cconsent to have her spayed.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:27:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pedophilia. The fact that it's such a taboo thing makes it so much more dangerous. Just because someone is attracted to children doesn't mean they will act on it. Most seem to be fully aware that it would harmful to children, but since it's such an impossible thing to talk about there isn't many ways they can find help and support when they're struggling.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, relevant news from Germany today.
pedothrowaway22133 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know, that article actually helped. Thanks for posting stranger.
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:43:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just last week I met a guy who was packing up for his ten year sentence in federal prison for possession of child pornography, he's obviously been speaking to a professional since and they don't believe he would ever physically harm or otherwise abuse / exploit a child. It's crushing to know that if he would have talked to someone about it he may not have ended up where he is now, he's very fortunate they're using the previous maximum sentence of ten years from when the crime was committed instead of the new maximum of twenty which they originally pushed for.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:47:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wont argue that he doesn't deserve to face repercussions for his actions, but putting a nonviolent offender in federal prison for ten years (and like I said, they pushed for twenty) is very costly in regards to tax dollars and in my opinion it's unnecessary. He downloaded child pornography once four or so years ago and there's been absolutely no activity since, he doesn't have a criminal history aside from that.
the_specialone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:41:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He contributed to the destruction of a childs innocence. Criminal history doesn't mean anything and if my tax dollars can help protect the innocent then I am more than happy to contribute.
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By your logic for you to be happy and society to be safe they'd need to mandate lifelong incarceration. It was an isolated incident four years ago, four years living his life the same way he always did and during those four years what happened? Nothing, and that was with his issues not being addressed by a mental health professional. He doesn't need to be locked up in a federal prison for ten or twenty years, he needs counseling and he can get that on the outside.
the_specialone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By your logic there should be no punishment for child molesters and they should instead talk it out. No, he already showed that he cannot control himself, he had his chance to be a functioning member of society already.
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, and this comment shows me you haven't read my other comments so I'll go over this again. This individual committed a nonviolent offense, it is a first time offense, it is his only offense. He's obviously had to speak with a mental health professional, she's ruled that he's not a threat. I believe that in this instance the maximum sentence for his charges is inappropriate, I also believe that he should be under supervised release and subject to the limitations of a registered sex offender such as not working with minors, living whatever distance from a school, not being allowed to go where children are (like parks and things). I don't believe he should be permanently subjected to these limitations, this is not in regards to every individual charged with child pornography, each case is different and needs to be addressed individually.
the_specialone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read your comments and I disagree with you. He has committed an offence against morality. There are no ifs, buts or maybe's within the law and any person knowingly in possession of child exploitation material commits a crime. The only defence to this is if it were done for education, medical or scientific purposes.
Whether it is his first offence or not makes no difference before the law and nor should it. He has committed a vile act and I don't see how you can reasonably defend it.
Miknarf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
could you eloborate on that? in what way is owning child pornography "facilitated the abuse and exploitation of a child"?
the_specialone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
think about it for a second... how do you think it was made?
Miknarf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:39:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yay making it certainly does. but im asking about owning it? whether or not some one else owns it has no effect on whether or not it was made
the_specialone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:42:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would one make it without being able to sell it or get off on showing it to others?
Miknarf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:57:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i dont know but what if was not bought but gotten of the dark web for free? I kind of assumed that the people who make it are generally pedofiles themselves. I doubt there is much market for selling child pornography considering how risky it is to conduct financial transactions on the internet. Are you suggesting that there are people who rape kids and film it just for the money or prestige? I think that sounds unlikely. Heres an analogy which I thinks fits. The terrorists group isis makes videos showing them cutting off americans heads. It not illegal to own these. People don't commonly claim that people who see these videos are facilitating these executions because obviously Isis would do it regardless. How are videos of child rape different?
the_specialone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is a terrible analogy and there is no excuse for possession. end of.
greenpearlin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:38:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is that ISIS make these videos to recruit new members and scare their opponents, while CP makers generally do it for the money. In this day and age attention is money given the pervasiveness of ads and it would be irresponsible to say one doesn't contribute to something since they got it for free.
curiiouscat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you even talking about? He committed a crime, he needs to go to jail. Viewing/consuming child porn is perpetuating and feeding the abuse of children. He is abusing children. Children. He deserves to go to jail.
The same can be said about someone who robs a store for money. What if they had spoken to a financial counselor to help them out? Tough shit, they didn't. And they broke the law, so now they go to jail.
Prettyboredwhtegirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one will argue that what he did wasn't absolutely wrong, it is disgusting, I sure as hell don't get it but I also don't understand people with a vore fetish. My feelings also have a lot to do with the jail/prison system in the US leaning heavily towards punishment instead of rehabilitation and using people to set examples by issuing the maximum sentences. It's straight up a waste of money to keep this guy in prison, I'm not saying let the man run free wherever he likes, there would still be the usual restrictions for a registered sex offender but something like incarceration and then some sort of supervised release strikes me as being much more appropriate. They wanted to give this guy twenty years, they wanted to have the american tax dollars pay for the incarceration of someone for twenty years who has been decided by a mental health professional to not be a threat. It's very extreme.
curiiouscat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:28:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Um... No it's not a waste of money to keep him in jail. He abused children. He committed a crime. It's not like he was arrested for thinking about children. He watched child pornography, which is abusing children.
Glorthiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Lets say he was just a lurker who downloaded some, he didn't contribute anything, he turned on an adblock so the shitty websites don't get any ad money, he didn't comment or praise the contributors, he got his fix and then probably felt ashamed, Or even for fucks sakes the rules on child porn are bullshit. I mean technically I could have been arrested for it because it was on my ram. why you ask? because I was on a website where people share porn and some asshole dumped ~20 images on the front page, I didn't know they were there! I literally refreshed the page and KIDDIE PORN! So I report every fucking image and then copied the link the asshole left for his website and tipped it to the FBI. But because I involuntarily had it on my RAM I could have been put in jail.
curiiouscat ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are so fucking disgusting I'm not going to dignify this with an answer.
Glorthiar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:26:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And I think your the kind of person who forces people to suppress their feelings, and hide away until they burst and molest a child, maybe if people like you didn't called anybody with this problem a disgusting monster they would have gotten help. You are contributing to molesting of children almost as much as the dude who got his fix of illegal porn and shame, because he managed by feeding his urges in a way that affected no one, but maybe if you didn't bully him and instead offered sympathy and compassion to something beyond his control and he could get help, but no your will probably continue bullying him, he never gets help, and then he finds himself alone with his niece an BAM! now he's a rapist, a full blow fucking contributor because you, and every other asshole stopped him from getting help.
curiiouscat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:27:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yes I am the reason people rape children, not the people who rape children.
Glorthiar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are part of the problem, Just as much as all the kids who tease and bully the one little outcast kid in high-school until he snaps, looses his fucking mind comes back and mows 15 of them down with an assault rifle. And you know what, people have sympathy for those kids, it's always a sad story some quiet kid who never hurt a fly and was just a little different.But nobody feels bad for the pedophile, in everyone's eyes he's just a monster who ruined a life, even in his own. But I feel sorry for them, because you know they remorse everything, they never thought they would hurt a child. You have to stop treating pedophiles different from other criminals. People don't understand them and they don't want to. We can all understand that kid who shot-up a class room at least a little, even if all you wanted to do was punch someone in the face because they were an asshole you've felt a feeling similar to his. But nobody gets the feeling a pedophile has, and therefore we dehumanize him because we don't get it.
curiiouscat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:44:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Omg please, keep going
Glorthiar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know i'm not doing this to convince you? Honestly I knew by you're first responce you weren't going to change your mind. I'm doing this in the hopes one conflicted person comes by, and changes there mind, it's a lot easier to write when you can bounce directly off an brick wall of idiocy, makes sure I can cover all my ground. I'm going to sleep now, waste your breath if you want. You'll probably be an ass about it and further my point.
curiiouscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure you have more to say than that
bird1979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In truth, just like an alcoholic who truely wants t not drink actively works at it through support groups, therapy, and being monitored. If your compulsion is so dangerous that it puts others and you at risk of serious consequences, it is your responsibility to exhaust all avenues to seek these services. I am in upstate N.Y. and am an addictions counselor who treated sex offenders of lots of varieties includong those who have not acted on it. The services I mentioned exsist around here. I was just their addictions counselor, trained specialist provides the services. I am sure they are probably not in all places but I would bet a lot of major cities and aome towns have services so considering the amount of sex offenders in major areas, a lot wpuld have access of they sought the help.
Tl; dr: it is the responsibilty for those afflicted with sexual disorders that puts others at risk to seek seevices that do exist. If they are not committing crimes but only have urges they can be treated with out being incarcerated.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 21:57:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 19:11:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wtf is wrong with you
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:23:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Care to elaborate instead of leaving a meaningless comment?
CaptainAsshat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:45:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. I mean... what's wrong if it's consentual?
theoldguitarist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not being politically correct. When did this country get so soft?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:25:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skateboarding in Parking lots. I have no clue why people hate it so much but its not like there's anywhere else to skate in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
Turbulator ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:15:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ex-skater from bumfuck nowhere chiming in. Something like 10% of skaters are dumbfucks who like to get into trouble or are inconsiderate of cars. That 10% ruins it for everyone.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:04:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ThePancakey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think Louis C.K. explains this well.
Makeshift27015 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:18:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most types of scam. Eve Online has made me so bitter that I find severe schadenfreude in those who can't see scams from a mile away.
(This doesn't stop me from being scammed too :( )
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:59:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Its me your brother .
procrastinating_nhil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about this one, just because some people are easier to take advantage of doesn't mean its ok.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happened with Eve Online if you don't mind me asking?
CatlikeSpectator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was no debacle or anything, it's just that EVE doesn't have rules regarding gameplay. If it's possible to be done within the game, you can do it. It's totally allowed to scam other players in-game.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I get it now. I thought you meant the company maintaining Eve was scamming. Derp, holy Monday...
Makeshift27015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically Eve Online is 98% scammers, 2% good guys. There are effectively no rules when it comes to scamming, so they're abundant everywhere in chats, mail, etc. Stealing is common, taking over corporations(guilds/clans) by hostile takeover and then stealing all of the stuff the corp owns (Often thousands in real world money). In Eve, if you get scammed, you deserved it and you will be laughed at, even if it was the best pulled scam and nobody could have seen through it.
pcrnt8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is so interesting to me! It takes the idea that a society would ultimately regulate itself, and just drops the anonymity of the internet into the mixing bowl. Holy crap, add in teenagers, and you're just writing a recipe for disaster.
Makeshift27015 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you haven't tried playing it, it's absolutely fantastic. You'll hate every moment of it, you'll have 6 excel spreadsheets open, you'll ragequit repeatedly and you'll be constantly on your toes avoiding scammers and people trying to kill you.
But if you leave, you won't be gone long.
I agree though, it literally is what the world would be like if there were no real repercussions on your character for actions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DarkStar5758 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere out there is a player that wants to give up the game but doesn't want his work to go to waste. He tries to give away the items and gold he worked for but no one will take it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heck yeah, I started playing WoW and was baffled when a guy offered to take my materials and send the crafted item back. How fucking stupid does he thin... oh, scamming is verboten.
patentspatented ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am very pregnant. Hugely so, with a belly that is big and round and low like a watermelon slowly untaping itself from a pair of suspenders. It is practically a beacon at this point, flashing bright lights that read "please touch me! I am friendly!"
Everyone knows you're not supposed to touch a pregnant woman's belly, especially without asking, but ... it doesn't bother me at all. It actually makes me feel good, like people are so excited about the fact that there's a baby in there that they just can't not touch it. And they always immediately take their hands off and apologize for not asking, but I'm never offended. I know I should be, but I'm not. I'm just glad my belly and I could bring a moment's joy to your life.
At this point, I'll even announce it if the baby gets the hiccups or is dancing the macarena, in case someone wants to feel him moving around. I've got belly enough to share.
TheRallybu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like a fun person. And congratulations on your watermelon :)
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just think touching someone without consent is such as big thing that it's not something we should ever allow to be an OK thing officially. However, on a personal level, I think yeah, why not?
robotsnowman3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:06:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating something my dog licked. Whatever, it hasn't killed me yet, and is probably making my immunity stronger. Plus, he's just cute.
jack_respires ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright. I've seen someone share an ice cream with their dog. They take a lick, then their dog does, and so on and so forth until the whole thing is gone. Why? Dogs clean themselves with their tongues. After they shit? Oops, better clean that. Yeah, fecal matter on your food sounds great. I don't understand how you can do this?
granted, i am a germophobe...kinda
robotsnowman3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, some studies show that dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans'. But mostly I just don't think about it in that much detail in the moment. Kind of like sex, if you thought about everything you put your mouth on for that, you'd probably be less inclined to do it.
themikelife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fighting. Sometimes you just need to throw a punch at someone's face
mradam0504 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poly relationships and open marriages. If everyone involved is happy, who gives a fuck?
ShadowLantern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't quite the same thing, but caring. It's not exactly socially unacceptable, but it's considered uncool. Why do we glorify 'not caring' so much? Why do people think a person is weak if they have basic concern for the people around them, and why is a person seen as cool or badass if they don't give a shit about anything?
ThePancakey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking someone's age.
Maybe it's just because I'm young, but people who are a bit older seem to be offended by this question and like to lie about it and giggle the question away.
whd5015 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Playing video games in your spare time. I'd rather not spend my free time reading a book, tyvm. Already do enough reading at work.
Darktroop6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, for some reason video games have a negative label. Who the fuck cares? I do what makes me happy, and you go read your fucking book or whatever.
doesthisgothere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swinging / Threesomes. If couples want to bring others into their bedroom and they are all consenting adults, why is there a bad stigma to this? My wife and I are quite open and have done this on a few occasions but I really wish lifestyles like this were not looked down upon.
kuroikawa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not watching games of thrones. I simply don't like it.
Tmac5ive ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:28:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
slurping noodles or sipping from the bowl Source: i'm asian
Skyzfallin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution, polygamy, euthanasia, suicide
morebeansplease ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:19:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Putting facts over peoples feelings.
w3revolved ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:53:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
burping, farting. normal animal occurrences that we're forced to make apologies for.
shwinnycakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using "retarded" with regards to something stupid/foolish.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
Why is that word taboo?!
I've even heard disabled people use it!! If they are fine with it, why shouldn't we all be?!?!
kissdemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sums it up perfectly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOLbuFVG0fs
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is exactly right.
I wouldn't call a mentally disabled person retarded.
A person who is being an idiot and an ass, however? Oh hell yes!
SheCaresTooMuch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:14:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recreational drug use
GreyFur ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:32:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People acting outside their genders norms.
I don't give a single damn if females are working construction or if males are going to a spa. Some people need to stop acting like it's hurting them when others do things that are not affecting them in any harmful way.
ponderpondering ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:31:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower, there are two types of people, people who pee in the shower and dirty fucking liars
joe_hockeys_cigar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bernie Sanders
emchoww ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating a stranger's leftovers. If I walk by a table and there's pizza on it, and it clearly has no owner..I'm eating that pizza. NO FOOD WASTE!
Dave & Buster's is actually the best, the waiters never clean the tables fast enough so it's like unlimited nachos there! Just casually slide into a booth and finish off the leftovers.
Mikmagoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Parents hitting their kids in public. Obviously not excessively or to hurt the child. But people go crazy now a days if a child is scolded my their parents even for a just flick in the ear or smack on the backside.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed a million percent.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sex workers.
Thnito_Kyrios ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:59:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public nudity, if the person isn't fat.
SeBAGeNetiC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:22:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burps... Let it out, I don't care, your body wants to releases some gas that shouldn't be there, go ahead.
Sarahthelizard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:37:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Better out than in, I always say.
HectorsM0M ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People don't care when you sneeze so,why should people care when you burp?
deezmcgee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:01:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to be so political correct all the damn time. I really don't give 2 shits if I offend you, I am going to be honest if you ask me a question. It seems like everyone gets offended at everything now, I just simple don't give a damn if I offend someone's sensitive views.
NoOrdinaryRabbit19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I'm not personally into it, but I have no issues with consenting adults having a sexual relationship, no matter their age, gender, relationship, social status, appearance, etc.
Chinkibus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:00:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest, if someone wants to fuck their sister go right ahead.
splatterboogie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:21:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy.
I'm not a polygamist - but if you have consenting adults, who the fuck cares. It's their business, not yours.
Also - public nudity. Again, I'm not a nudist, but I don't care if someone is in their nuddypants (or topless, or whatever). It's their body, not yours. Enjoy the view, or not. So long as they're being hygienic, it's not an issue.
Breastfeeding. Same as above.
1jimbo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:12:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not tipping. I work just as hard as you do and I need to deal with shitty people too. Why should I be expected to gift my hard-earned cash to you for doing your job?
epicpotatofantasy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
American or European?
1jimbo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:39:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
American
epicpotatofantasy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Americans tip because most waiters don't get paid even minimum wage, so tips really help.
bacon-is-sexy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tip waiters/waitresses/valet because that is how they make their money in the US. I do not tip baristas or any sort of fast food staff because they are paid at least minimum wage hourly.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:20:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on who you're out with, playing on your phone at a restaurant. If you are with friends, no, but if you are with someone you see all the time (and they don't mind) then it's ok.
szekeres81 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:46:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To each their own, but this will always bother me.
daze1999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can really relate to this. I'm always going out somewhere with a few friends and this girl I liked. We'd all go out to see a movie, or just hang out at the park but whenever I try to talk to her, she's always on her phone. And that makes me a little self conscious and wondering if I'm boring her. She's an amazing person, but seeing her phone out for most of our conversations will always bother me.
GreasyAssMechanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just call her out on it. It'll take her by surprise and maybe she'll get offended, but it'll make you seem like less of a pushover. She might like that
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not ok with this and I will call people out for doing this.
What daze1999 said.
cihojuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's ok if you play with your phone before food gets delivered to your table at restaurants, but you do kind of have to put it down and talk to the other people at the table when you're eating.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:03:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I dont give a shit either.
ecoprax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ending my sentences with a preposition of.
Tantric989 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of what?!?
Generic_Username0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plz no.
Quetzhal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weird sexual kinks. All of them. I just don't really give a shit as long as they don't harm anyone else. There's nothing wrong with having a kink - you don't really decide what turns you on - it's acting on it that can be bad.
And if people are having trouble with controlling themselves they should be able to freely say that so they can get help, instead of being reviled by society for being a good enough person to want help.
sciencelabrador ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:14:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing ~revealing clothing~ because its none of my business what people wear. ditto for their sex life. jesus christ jenny, i dont care if sandra sucked dick for a big mac thats sandra's business
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Allowing businesses to refuse to participate in ceremonies, events, and creation of memorabilia in which they are religiously opposed.
This is not the same as allowing businesses to refuse all service to a person based on their genetic makeup/etc. For example:
-An Islamic bakery should not have to wedding cake bake a cake and put a combination of grooms and/or brides they do not agree with on top, and go to the ceremony to cater food for it. But they should serve those people in every other kind of aspect--just not one that forces them to participate in things that go against their religion.
-A Hindu metalworking/raw materials working shop should not have to create a Catholic statue or write out the words of the Hebrew God below it, or create a McDonald's sign. But they should serve Catholics in all other kinds of aspects.
-An Atheist signmaker should not be forced to create signs that say "God hates fags". But they should serve Radical Christians in all other kinds of aspects.
-And a Christian photographer should not be forced to take pictures of a wedding couple/group of people they do not religiously agree with. But they should serve these people in all other kinds of aspects.
It's all the same thing. It's about participation in things that go against one's own religion that people should not have to partake in.
EDIT: These people should make it obvious what religion they partake to with a sign that is visible to the customer.
JonJonFTW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would be fine with this as long as it only applies to non-essential retail services and not every single private business. I don't want a Jehovah's Witness-owned hospital to be allowed to refuse to give me a blood transfusion because of "muh watch tower". That might be an unlikely example, but it gets my point across.
Ringtailed79 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory and Polygamy
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:30:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
I personally find the idea of being sexual with any of my own family members disgusting, but I don't see what the big deal is for people who don't, provided they're two consenting adults of course.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:41:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people that I'm on my period. I mean I'm not going to go into graphic detail (unless you ask, in which case I totally will), but if someone says "What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" I have no qualms about saying "Oh I'm just on my period. The second day is the worst." And I'm not going to use any cutesy euphemisms either. Some people seem really put off by this, but I don't see why it should be any different than telling someone you have a cold or a headache.
AptCasaNova ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:02:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with whatever other women choose to do, but for me it's like telling people you have diarrhea. Then again, some people do that too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Except it's not like having diarrhea at all. Diarrhea is something that happens out of the blue. My period happens every month, and sometimes it makes me feel really awful. Should I just pretend it's not happening or lie about it because you think it's icky?
AptCasaNova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's icky - I have periods myself. I just prefer to say I'm feeling crappy or 'not well'. I suppose it's partly because I'm surrounded by female coworkers who expound on every ailment - even hemmeroid discussions at lunch, nothing is off limits.
I guess some people find that laid-back and open, but I don't. No offense meant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's up to you. You don't have to share that information if you don't want to. I just personally don't mind telling people.
ENrgStar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:12:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving the baby in the car for short periods of time.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed.
Danni293 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As bad as it's going to sound... racism. Now before people start getting incredibly anally retentive let me explain that institutional racism is a blight on society and needs to be eliminated as soon as possible. I do however believe that racism in the form of words and expression are pointless to get upset about, words can't hurt you if you don't let them. So what if someone calls you by a racial slur, white or black? Are you so doubtful of your own self worth that the words of some asshole hold so great importance to you that you let them hurt you? Grow a pair! Anyway... let the downvoting commence that has easily got to be one of my more controversial opinions.
CSTDude777 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Happily declaring I'm a Christian and standing up for what I believe in.
Go ahead, hand me your downvotes.
fleshtrombone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:22:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where is this unacceptable? Are you doing it in a synagogue?
mrnagrom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing i don't get. Who gives a fuck if you're christian, so is like a third of the planet.
greenpearlin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:40:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BUT THE OTHER TWO THIRDS ARE PROSECUTING THEM GODDAMNIT!
mrnagrom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:16:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WAR ON CHRISTMAS! WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
CSTDude777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*persecuting
mrnagrom ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They might be prosecuting too. Athiests get pretty wiley.
mrnagrom ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:54:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Instead I shall hand you an upvote and some fellow companionship. <3
CSTDude777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why thank you!
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
^ _ ^ You're quite welcome, friend!
foreverinLOL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Brianna-Girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talk to me if you ever see me. I LOVE when strangers talk to me! And vice-versa, I love speaking to strangers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:13 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
How can we talk to you when we see you, if we don't know what toy look look? Lol :p
Edit: you* not toy
Like** not two looks. But I'd probably still look twice ;)
Brianna-Girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:30 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have you been drinking?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:48 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol never drank a drop of alcohol in my life :p
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:27 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see now. Horrible typos. Damn Swype.
Brianna-Girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:00 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha! I'm sorry, darling, I couldn't understand a fucking word. Could you rephrase? :P
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:36 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was saying that if we don't know what you look like, how could we talk to you? As strangers, I mean.
It's all well and good to just start talking to all the strangers around us, but what if I wanted to fulfill your desire specifically? :) if I knew what you looked like, maybe I could engage you in conversion. As strangers, of course.
Brianna-Girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:02 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh, ha. :D
Well I guess I'll get a tattoo on my forehead that says "Talk me to, stranger."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:32 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, well I guess that'd work. . .
pics or it didn't happen xD
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:50:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RemoveScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:54 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ha. you consider sex work.
They0001 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:26:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Selective human population control.
fleshtrombone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
like genocide or like one child policy?
CarnageSK ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:49:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A workplace that doesn't have a strict dress code. I know there are a lot of companies that let their employees wear what they want, but there are still a LOT that don't... Like mine. I believe your appearance really doesn't have much to do with your work ethic or professionalism.
drostan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I do like to dress well/formal, so I am not really inconvenienced either way but the dress codes are sometime stupids
If you are in contact with the public, you are representing your company and so I do agree it makes sens you dress for it
But if you work in front of a screen all day where no one sees you I don't see why you should be forced to wear shirt and tie in your cubicle. hell I don't even care if you wear pants for that matter as long as you do your job well its good enough for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
being an asshole. everybody on reddit acts like its the worst thing in the world but I would rather be an asshole than an approval seeker
Wargame4life ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:26:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically this actually makes me like you, as i cant fucking stand people who try and win reddits favour or approval.
Reality is reality, i would rather be corrected by an arsehole than agreed with by a moron.
Knowledge has value, reddit approval has none.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:18:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are those really the only two options? I would rather not be an approval seeker, or an asshole.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
usually if youre in a position of power, yes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's insane.
SuminerNaem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively you can be a regular human being
Being nice =/= being a doormat
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nothing about me wants to be a regualr human being.
jimkin22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Theres three kinds of people, dicks, pussies and assholes
fleshtrombone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
serious question... do you have no problem with other assholes, or do they make you mad?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
asshole is such a vague term whichs means different things to different people. I dont mean to cause harm to anybody I just have a habit of being brutally honest to a fault and dont make much of an effort to kiss up to people or pretend to feel someway when I dont, just to appease people. that being said I prefer to deal with people that are brutally honest as long as they are rational. Its a hard questions to answer really. Really, it takes a lot to make me mad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I agree. I would be an independent asshole, rather than a kiss ass. I can't live with my self, if I do something that I don't believe in even if I benefit from it.
halloshroom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking weed at parties. Cant see why people who go out for a puff comes in getting judged as junkies for the rest of the party.
who0ocares ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you're clearly not from British Columbia
theblackfool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never saw that happen.
Saintblack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I leave my trash bin by the road for the full weekend. Trash runs Friday and I take my bin in Monday.
I feel like all of my neighbors think I am lazy. They all seem to just wait for the garbageman to pick it up, have a chat and wheel it in. Mine just sits there. Alone.
Also I hate when people try to say hi to me when I am mowing. This shit takes 2 hands stop waiving at me you are making me go off course.
AnIh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the whole thing about when food is ready you dont have to actualy eat it its rude ! u have to wait for it to almost be cold to be socialy acceptable to start eating , for me thats quite the opposite I think its lack of respect for the one that actualy cooked the food to not eat it, also doesnt make sense to not eat while its hot :/
Ranwoken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who does this?
Pravus_Belua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they might be referring to the custom of waiting until everyone has prepared their plate and is seated before you start to eat. At least I think that's what they're getting at, I could be way off-base.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never got this either. I'm gay but if I think a girl is attractive I'll look. She does nothing for me sexually but like anyone else, I find beauty pleasant to look at.
MatticusVP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:59:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I let other people bang my girlfriend. This is a natural next step for you!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MatticusVP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nice! Yeah, my girlfriend and I are in the swinger scene ourselves.
I_HAVE_PHOBOPHOBIA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cuck
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MatticusVP the cuckold.
MatticusVP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You misunderstand, we're swingers. I didnt mention the part where I fuck other peoples girlfriends.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:16 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's cool. (Being honest and not sarcastic)
omegakill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a matter of pride, you're proud of your girlfriend and how good she looks and you're comfortable with people checking her out
Throwaway8410395 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non monogamy. I'm not personally in a poly relationship, and never have been, but the more I sit and think about compulsory monogamy the more I think it's actually just coddling jealous and entitled dispositions and in light of all the statistics on infidelity out there I don't understand why this is still a thing. We should be telling people from a young age it's totally okay to like multiple people and even act on it if done in a safe manner and everyone is on the same page.
Also, swearing in front of children is 100% okay with me if you're not using slurs against marginalized groups of people. If you're just saying shit like shit, goddamnit, fuck, asshole, etc you're good to go.
Not making an explicit effort to hang out with family if you have nothing in common and they aren't exceptionally nice or interesting people is also 100% fine with me.
moocow921 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of drugs
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hanging up the phone without saying goodbye. Also, openly talking about your sex life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Room reference.
ehkodiak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nakedness. Everyone's a fricken human and is naked under their clothes, so just deal with it.
SinkTube ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. Why do you care if I have a relationship with more than one person?
AndytheNewby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting out your phone in a social situation. You're not on entertain me duty, if that's what you want to do, go for it.
BlackSuN42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. If you have nice breasts I will look at them. If you don't I won't. I think everyone can just deal. Its a body we all have them. Some paint is art, some paint is on walls.
ColbyStein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cousins being in relationships.
Their kids will share one set of great grandparents. The genetic issues are pretty minor, statistically.
crunchyturtles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not smiling. I work in customer service and my first week my boss told me he would fire me if he saw me not smiling for more than ten seconds. The customers just want to pay and move on, I don't think they give two shits what I'm doing with my mouth. Also, small talk. I fuckin hate it. Its meaningless and does nothing to advance a relationship. Yet, we must all do it. Id be fine if strangerd could just go about their days in friendly and peaceful silence.
zawata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a computer tech for my university and it seems like the difference between smiling and not smiling is huge
I don't know what kind of customer service you work but I can't think of one where a little smile would be a great thing. It gives the customer the impression that you actually care even the slightest bit and it may not be furthering any relationships but it's still a kind gesture
Anything more than that isn't necessary though is a good thing to do depending on the industry. Fast food? I don't really want to have conversations with the cashiers, maybe a few words but eh... Tech support? I'm in people's offices for 15min to an hour at a time so talking really helps and feels necessary.
crunchyturtles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that some types of customer service require more of an effort from the employees. I was just saying I would be totally okay if everyone didn't feel the need to fake smile all the time. Its fake, its not from happiness or pleasure, and therefore its meaningless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand it's fake, but it shows some effort. You should develop that poker face emotionless smile pretty fast.
KittyHammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about sex casually regardless of setting.
creativejuice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jay walking
mus_maximus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm generally cool with the bronies, furries, and juggalos. So you like weird media? Cool, I also like weird media, just for some reason people are a little more accepting of my weird media. The fact that I am not personally into your weird media doesn't mean we can't hang out, drink beer and thrown knives at the garage.
KoveltSkiis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Juggalos?
Cylius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being LGBTQ (Tennese)
kvaltx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not shaving. I get tons of ugly stares and glares from other women but never ugly looks from men or kids. I don't live in a very enlightened area.
cmunerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wishing someone happy birthday on Facebook
lostsemicolon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really think that's unacceptable. I generally tune out Facebook Birthday stuff after the 5th notification.
JourdanWithaU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping.
Seriously, it doesn't matter. I want more dip on the chip that I've taken a bite out of.
Pravus_Belua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Considering there are quite a few various little nasties that can be passed through our saliva, it does in fact matter.
Well, at least to me it does.
JourdanWithaU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a myth. There's more bacteria in the dip than what little that gets passed from saliva.
https://youtu.be/FYxccSTDH4k
http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/mythbusters-database/double-dipping-is-germ-warfare/
Pravus_Belua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I watched the video, that's a specious experiment. They're comparing a double-dip to literally taking a mouthful of dip and spitting it back into the bowl. Of course the double-dip isn't going to be that bad as that.
Be that as it may (and as obvious as their results are) that's not connected to what I was getting at. I was specifically referring to the notion that if you have a communicable disease (the little nasties I referred to) capable of transmitting through saliva, that double-dipping is potentially dangerous at worst, and disgustingly worrisome at best.
This is common sense. You are making contact with the chip with the inside of your saliva-coated mouth, and then reinserting part of that same chip back into a communal bowl of food. That's just disgusting and shows a complete lack of regard for those sharing that dip with you.
In short: If I want your saliva in my food, I'll ask you to spit on my chip. Otherwise, please don't.
Glitchypink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In my career (retail) we're supposed to be polite and friendly at all times, swearing and verbally abusing customers is not socially acceptable, even if they have abused you first. I will quite happily swear at and/or verbally abuse a customer, but only if they have done so first, or I have witnessed them swearing at/verbally abusing one of my staff. We get so much abuse and I've been working in retail for coming up to 19 years now. Customers have been getting ruder over the years, they use the "customer is always right" and they take advantage of it. Why should I have to put up with abuse? why should my staff members have to put up with it? I will totally give as good as I get, and more!
nvflip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding. People are either offended or turned on by it. It's just a feeding for shits sake.
brildenlanch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest, as long as its between two consenting adults.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TediousGlaswegian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The vast majority of body odour comes from bacteria trapped by dead-skin. It becomes smellier as it gets wet from sweat. Body heat makes a fertile breeding ground. It's this that starts to make your underwear smell even if you're "clean".
Hate to tell you but people can probably smell your bumhole.
Fluffy8x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But unless you spend an hour wiping you're still going to get them dirty.
algorithmiKitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food that's technically considered trash. Hey, if someone leaves a perfectly good slice of pizza at their table at a restaurant, free pizza! A box of muffins left over from a conference sitting near the top of the trash can? Free muffins! Even if something falls on the floor, as long as it's not obviously dirty, I really don't mind.
AbandonSky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I hate the stigma, the whole hick thing, why can't two people who are in love just be in love. I think it's funny when LGBT don't agree with it. Apparently love does have boundaries.
NegroConFuego ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking someone (woman or otherwise) their age/weight/salary. They're all just numbers. And I hate it when I give my answer to one of those questions because idgaf, but the person that asked me gets red in the face and refuses to answer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
U-turns
Bongham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wohooo U-turns
BumSuk_Chung ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Cannabis consumption. There is such an enormous societal stigma around anything to do with marijuana. To the point where I considered prefacing this post with, "this is going to make me sound like a huge fuckboy, but.." For me at least, this ruins the drug in a large way. If I go out to smoke, I want to enjoy my high doing fun things, not feeling ashamed or like a "bad person" for having smoked weed.
Darktroop6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol because it is labeled as a "drug" and people just see the classification "drug" and say ewwwww. But yet cigarettes are acceptable? Wtf
WiredEgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a man and taking your kids to the park
Stackman32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not getting Thank You cards.
Jov_West ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking up a bowl of soup at a restaurant and pouring the last bit directly into my mouth. The Japanese do it and who cares what anyone thinks.
ryan-ryan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vaping. I really don't care if people do it, but man, everyone else seems to get their panties in a wad about it.
StayFrostyIcebrgSlim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a problem with people doing it but everyone who I see do it looks like a jackass. Do they give you a headbuzz or something? It seems like a pointless way to act like you are smoking to me
lostsemicolon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They're often give out an adjustable dose of nicotine making them a good quit smoking device.
Codacus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution. Regulate it. Tax it. Wonder why you didn't do it 200 years ago.
Lakeandmuffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking while walking in public places. Like, who gives a fuck?
lostsemicolon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Town near me allowed drinking in the parks. Until the homeless did it, then it was bad apparently.
RearAdmiralBob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smacking children to teach them discipline (only very occasional). Sometimes they just need a fucking slap upside the head.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen, brother. Or sister.
Amen!
_Big_Nick_Diggers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. Seriously, as long as both parties are consenting and age appropriate. Obviously there are certain implications about reproduction that are negative, but for the most part I dont care who is fucking who as long as there was no manipulation.
ZombieDiesel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cursing in front of children.
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:34:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They will hear them eventually, might as well do it early
BoomerKeith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lot's of good conversation on this topic, but I think this is a great opportunity to bring something up:
It's NOT socially acceptable to fart in an enclosed space while strangers are present. An airplane, for example, is not the place to shit on everyone around you.
I do, however, think it's perfectly okay to fart in an empty elevator just before you get off. I think of it as leaving a little mystery for the next riders. Maybe their day is not going well, or they have a lot weighing on their minds. For that split second (or mintues, depending on what I've eaten), they get a chance to play out a small mystery scene in their mind. Also, they get to look at the other passengers and think "which one of these nasty fucks farted?", and finally they think "Oh no, they're going to think it was me if I don't cover my nose or make some kind of gesture that shows I'm just as disgusted which means I didn't do it!".
ZacharyHere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't mind body hair on women.
Completely un-phased by it, with the only exception being that she's hairier than me. If that's the case, I'd be slightly unattracted.
pajogu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding.
Syntheticturtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking weed
Blue_Dog_Democracy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using Comic Sans. The internet has become such an echo chamber of nerds denigrating that one font that many probably don't even remember why they're supposed to hate it. The rhetoric has gotten ridiculously over-the-top. It's just a font. Get over it.
Comic Sans hate is just one of those things that's "expected" of you if you're a denizen of the 'net nowadays.
Who_U_Wit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone gonna put weed already? Cause I'm ok with that.
Crispydare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An American women's clothing size 14 or 16 being considered "Plus" size. I confess that I am an American woman who fits in that range. And I am overweight. I am so sick of reading that 14 is the size of the average American woman and we should embrace it, and it's perfectly healthy, blah blah blah. No. It's not healthy. I don't think it's healthy to accept this largeness as the new normal. Sure, I'm healthier than people more obese than myself, but I'm less healthy than I was when my weight/body fat was lower. We're not doing ourselves any favors by saying our increasing amounts of fat are healthy and beautiful and normal.
I'm going to get flamed for this, aren't I? Ugh.
heyitsmecarlos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its rather sad that we live in a society where the truth faces tons of opposition
whoanellie418 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SMOKING - Everyone acts like you're openly doing drugs or something just for having a cigarette. It's like it's illegal when it's not!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Being late. I don't judge others who are late because I'm always late myself.
Also nudity. Who cares? We all fucking look the same!
blemdaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eugenics
DetectiveSeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Underage Drinking and Smoking Pot... Might get controversy over this is even seen by anyone ,but since they are underage the punishment is way lower so why not let them experience all of it then?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think there should be no drinking age whatsoever.
If you are 15 and want to buy booze, go ahead.
theoriginalfake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:24:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word "normal" when talking about people.
I'm sorry guys, but it's not normal to be gay, ot's not normal to act in some ways, it's not normal to do a LOT of things. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. I mean fuck, I'm bi, I'm not normal because I DO NOT fit into the NORM. Using the word normal with its original definition should be fine, but noooo, when I say someone isn't normal everyone looks at me like I'm a monster -_-
jaybaird05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
holy fuck thank you! Whenever I make this argument people get so pissed at me. I have no problem with people being gay, frankly it's none of my business whether you like dick or vag.... But if you're gay don't sit there and think that you are "normal"...If gay was "The Norm", the world would be dreadfully short on humans....
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they take offense to it because then they feel you are saying everything about them is abnormal. Like saying "he's a normal guy, but he's gay". Now shouldn't always be talking about someone's sexuality, but there are times where it comes up. Say a female friend of yours is interested in him and you want to let her know.
But yeah, I'm not going to label my self cis whatever the fuck that is. My sexuality is the majority of the human condition, it's normal.
furrowsmiter ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Critical thinking
anticusII ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 15:21:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost cut myself on that edge.
Banevader69 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously, you are not.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Daedalus or Crystalis ?
nursebad ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:53:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Accusing one of elitism because they know things or enjoy learning for the sake of learning is a serious problem where I live.
TalkingFrenchFry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:52:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
r/im14andthisisdeep
Krozni ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:17:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lemme guess: you're a 15 year old with shit grades, but don't worry, you're just "a different kind of learner".
Pmly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ok. So teenagers are clearly oppressed by people like you. Grades mean absolutely nothing. School is a man made indoctrination venter where YOU as an individual do not get to>Lemme guess: you're a 15 year old with shit grades, but don't worry, you're just "a different kind of learner".
decide what you would like to pursue, but rather a preset list of topics that one may or may not be engaged in. How unamerican is it to take away adolescents freedom by coercing their parents with penalties for not complying with a system they feel is unjust?
Krozni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was just makng a joke about the edge. Calm down.
Krozni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also I almost directly quoted a filthy frank video if you are really taking that seriously.
furrowsmiter ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can call me 15-year-old-with-shit-grades without any other information if you'd like (you're wrong), but at least I'm able to spell and make sense of those nasty grammar rules that elude you.
Krozni ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 04:06:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not really worried about my grammar online. 9 upvotes agree with me.
damngoodreid ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:55:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're both silly.
bluewiz_360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
edgy
furrowsmiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
original
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory/Polygamy. People should be able to have sex with as many or as few people as the want and not be judged for it.
PussyWhistle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying anything when someone sneezes.
Also, hooking up with coworkers. I would have had way less sex in the last 10 years if it weren't for that company ink.
KossuthInBezantur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Politically incorrect jokes.
dexstrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting... Why is society so immature, and some people call me immature for farting. Fucking goddamnit every human being fucking farts just accept it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to smell that shit, thanks.
VaginalBurp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being honest. I don't think I need to lie to you, just so you don't get hurt fee fees. If you ask me a question and I'm just honest, you can not be offended without looking like a moron. If you wanna ask me what I think of your watch and I just say, "it's cool" and you continue to press me about how awesome it is, I think I'm free to tell you spending 5k on a watch actually makes you a retard.
drostan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
May I point out that
your example escalated real quick
Your username is an example of answer I would agree with in this thread
Brandon_Me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much anything fettish wise. I just dont give a fuck. so long as you're not hurting someone (without concent) I dont give a fuck about what you like in the bedroom.
Im always so reserved where ever I go so people try and brace me for whattever dirty thing they thought of. Then im like " is that it?"
Caught my brother with gay porn he lost his mind with fear and I just laughed it off.
Godless_Servant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having many sexual experiences in your life and incest, it isn't for me but I don't see a problem if the two people really love each other or even just really like one another.
Bruciomagodo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating dogs. Or cats. Really. Why can't I eat them? I'm not going to eat your dog, exactly as you won't eat a friend's horse if you have friends who have horses.
Fuck you society, I want to taste a dog.
batmanwithagun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't taste that good, actually. I've had some in Vietnam. They kinda taste like chewy pork.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about the fact that I smoke pot occasionally.
I don't care, I will discuss it openly.
Someone has a problem with it? Tough.
Javacalypse_Now ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:04:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is there to really discuss about that?
I mean hey, I like to smoke pot sometimes too. But aside from "Want to hit this?", it's kind of a boring topic to hear about.
alliefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
unless you know all the great benefits to marijuana use and industry growth!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there are actually many things to discuss about weed.
Being dopey and saying "Want to hit this" is not for me...nor my friends.
Javacalypse_Now ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I realize that. But "talking about the fact that I smoke pot" and "talking about pot" aren't really the same thing, are they?
Your initial comment made it sound like you were one of those guys/gals who pushes the ol' "man I got so high last night" kind of conversations on people, whether they're interested or not.
Sincere apologies to you... and your not-dopey friends.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Homophobia. I think it's bad, but I'm okay with it since I can understand that not everybody is comfortable with LGBTs.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How can you be okay with something if you think it's bad?
I'm not saying to hate homophobes and go on a crusade against them. You can like someone who happens to be homophobic. It's an unfortunate thing on their end, but there's more to a person than that.
But being okay with homophobia as a thing? That's like being okay with racism. Neither are okay. Both are cases of people being judged or hated for things they have no control over. I may have just misunderstood you, but if not, can you clarify?
Just to be sure, I'm not angry or attacking you or anything. Just curious.
Valiade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live and let live.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent mantra, but when one's views genuinely threaten the livelihood of others, then I really start to have a problem.
Now, if you're fine with legalizing gay marriage, or adoption, yet still find being LGBT wrong or disgusting, then that's fine. Unfortunate, sad, and outdated, but as you said, live and let live.
If you're actively impeding upon the freedom of others, then that's a problem that needs to be addressed and taken care of.
Sometimes, if letting others live means that that it prevents others from doing the same thing, then you need to instill some limits.
We could be on the same page, though.
Valiade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We are on the same page. If someone hates gay people, sure I disagree, but my own hatred in retaliation is only going to drive them further into their ideals.
Now if someone is actively discriminating, harassing, or assaulting someone because they're gay then we have a very big fucking problem.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then I wholeheartedly agree. Sorry for misunderstanding, and thanks for being so understanding and tolerant of others.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In most of the cases of the homophobes I know, they learned it from their parents or other authority figures. I don't really think it's their fault they're homophobic, but rather it's their parents/other authority figures fault for trying to force their views on their children.
Though that's probably just in my case, but that's my reasoning behind it.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen the same as well.
Though one could argue that everything stems from that. Which you could then counter by asking who taught the parents and the authority figures, and who taught those people, and where it all began, and whether we are innately inclined towards hatred, as would be evidenced by the existence of it, or towards compassion, as evidenced by the existence of that, as well.
Which, I guess, would only mean that we are inclined towards both.
Deadbreeze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taxing the shit out of the rich. This country allowed you to get that way, maybe you should be okay with paying that country for it's service. Plus you're rich, what exactly are you saving it all for, world domination?
threwwawai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:45:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swapping between presenting myself as a dude and a chick. Life's too short to pick one, so I am genderfluid. Whhoopp.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you.
threwwawai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:50 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! Was expecting some serious hate there.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:30 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Be who you want to be.
The people who take issue with it should mind their own business.
They should focus on their own lives, not yours. What does it matter to them anyhow?!
PM_ME_YOUR_BURDENS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Killing somebody who's committed a crime like rape or murder. Some things people do makes them forfeit their right to live in my book.
bossedverg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The biggest issue with allowing the death penalty for rapists is it almost forces escalation. If a rapist is going to get the death penalty for rape and the same sentence for murder, logically he should murder the victim as well so there is a lesser chance of getting caught. Obviously both outcomes suck for the victim, but with laws the way they are now at least the victim could live and get help with recovery.
KJJBA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you kill them how are you any better?
muh_condishunz ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
? you are far better.
they killed/raped an innocent person.
lord_geryon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:34:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's to say you won't be killing an innocent person?
The justice system is pretty far away from perfect.
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can they kill you back?
procrastinating_nhil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sort of agree. We shouldn't support vigilante justice or prison assault but if a murderer or a rapist ends up dead or assaulted its kinda hard to sympathize.
lord_geryon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For one thing, making rape a guaranteed death sentence means rapists have no reason not to murder their victims and, in fact, it's in their best interest to turn every rape they commit into a murder... a dead wo/man tells no tales, after all, and without victim testimony, it would make it much more difficult to make an arrest.
procrastinating_nhil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah of course, not condoning it, just saying on a purely emotional level its hard to feel sorry for them
Glorthiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for saying this so I didn't have to
5ives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:21 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rapists and murderers have issues and need help. They weren't born rapists and murderers, something caused them to end up the way that they are. I think there should be more therapy and less punishment in the justice system.
Zukuni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that they should have the option of the death penalty or to be used as a medical experiment for 1 year. If they survive the entire year they get to live life in prison. Think of the leaps in medical science we could achieve.
WolfGuy801 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking cigarettes..cuz I like em..go figure.
MarcusVWario ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. Not like a parent fucking their adolescent child, but family members being together (e.g. cousin lovin)
TiffanyRing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying gay, stupid or retard. I think people get too offended by it. So if I said "Stop being retarded." You really think I'm making fun of retards? No I'm telling you stop being irrational or silly, etc. And I say gay sometimes because saying lame or corny isn't what I always mean in the situation. Sorry I really don't care. I'm not gonna say it when I'm at work but around my friends or family I couldn't care less.
Dance_Luke_Dance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nerd-basher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being naked
Pride_Of_NY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all of this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People flying a flag or being openly gay..yea its legal but idk why its such a big controversy...the flag is history..dont try to mask it..weve grown since then..and 2 gay people do not affeec your personal love life unless ur wife or husband comes out..but if that happens then there were problems before hand.(happened in my family..he was a total narcissit but thats another story) just kick back..be cool with one another..seriously..it takes less effort and you'll sleep better at night. Kids accept it with no issues..why cant we all?
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think in the terms of flags and whatnot, it's a case of freedom to say what you will. I might not support your views, but I would fight for your right to hold them because your right to mine yours is mine to have mine.
And the thing about kids accepting things doesn't fly with me, although I support people being however they are as long as they are happy, because they will accept the existence of fairies and magic and anything you tell them and sound convincing enough. I don't think this particular issue is that hard to get around though. Kids are just as happy to accept it as the people around them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone chewing with their mouth open and making mpa mpa mpa mpa noises, I'm only ok with it because shitty family.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eew...the picture that sprang into my mind of a whole family sitting around a table making mpa lumpa noises....
DoneAllWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not accepting invitations to weddings that I don't want to go to.
CatholicAlternate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if it's your second cousin's friend's wedding on the other side of the state.
ShimmyShimmyYes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose in the car! 1) It's my car 2) I need to get the air moving and the only way to do so is getting that blockade out of the way 3) It feels fantastic!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Steroids.
RE-Zen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Free speech ... I think it's absurd that no one can say anything or have an opinion without immediately being labeled as an extreme __________. (Racist, sexist, liberal, conservative, etc.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in the gym
nevernudefoundation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just not talking because there is silence. Silence doesn't have to be uncomfortable. Small talk is.
crunchyloam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with a lack of clothing. Guys and girls, admit it. Sometimes the conditions call for a little less cover.
Rotanikleb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not holding the door for somebody. Doors usually aren't heavy. Unless I have my hands completely full, stop holding the door for me when I'm 20 yards away. Really, I can get it. I notice it the most when I'm at the office. People love holding doors when the person approaching is still a good distance away.
And then they expect a courtesy thanks and some small talk when you get there.
NO. STOP IT
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating alone or going to the movies alone. I have absolutely no problem enjoying a meal by myself.
flibbertigibbet56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do I start? 1. Not needing to be accompanied everywhere you go, even just to the shops 2. Obeying speed limits (bit harsh?) 3. Political incorrectness 4. I'll think of a few more soon
Gregorio2121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food if you drop it on the floor, as long as it isn't visibly dirty
HangTheDJHangTheDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correcting people and not cajoling stupidity. There's this idea that is not ok to correct someone when they are absolutely wrong. It exists very much in the service industry, especially. What we've created by this is a culture of extreme and stubborn stupidity. It's made us weak, intellectually. People are now outraged every time someone proves them wrong. We should be striving to learn all the time. It should be a welcome experience for someone to show us the error of our ways.
naco228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with getting into a car with a stranger without them knowing my secret passcode my mom told me.
abqkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking leftovers from restaurants. If my dinner companion doesn't finish her/ his meal, why can't I take it and eat it later?! I have a thing against wasted food and it bugs me to do so. I've been tempted a time or 2 to take strangers' leftovers, as I know they didn't spit on their way out, but that would be tacky, so I don't
Tweequeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not laughing at things that aren't funny. The expectation that you're supposed to laugh when someone makes an unfunny joke during a speech or whatever sucks. If your joke isn't funny I ain't laughing!
tinathetrashtalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping out loud. Being a cook, it makes me feel as if I've done a good job!
sevenymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping in public after eating, as long as it doesn't turn into a contest.
Blade2587 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
saying hi/good morning to your coworkers when you come in
smb_samba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not greeting coworkers when you walk through the door. I really don't understand why everyone expects a hello or good morning...
233C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nuclear waste
schwagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being wrong or making a mistake. Everyone does it - absolutely nobody is perfect all the time. And yet people are so damn prideful that they would never admit that they've done something wrong.
Being wrong doesn't make you a bad person. Being wrong and refusing to learn from the situation does.
helpmechoosename ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the same razor for my face and balls as long as both the balls and razor are thoroughly clean.
KnotsInMyLocs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I let someone out to turn and they don't give me the courtesy wave, I find it deep within myself to forgive them.
Zambigulator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory 8)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not holding the door open for people. I feel like it's an obligation and shouldn't be.
Bear_faced ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Basically any drug that isn't heroin or meth, nudity, "adult" piercings, open relationships (we opened our LDR after a year of dating, best decision we've made for our relationship so far), group sex and swinging, and having sex with your friends (my friends are all great in bed, but I'm not romantically interested in them because I'm in love with my boyfriend, and if we're both bored and horny we can fool around and nobody gets hurt).
hoseja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TBH, pretty much all of them. I don't see the point, or the point is not worth it.
nutt_butter_baseball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit makes a big deal of people turning around in elevators. Who cares?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Double dipping. It's a myth. It's obviously a different story when someone is sick though.
KuroSaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
licking a bowl clean after having ice-cream or custard!
cryfight4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing white any time of the year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about sex, as long as it's not too explicit.
somenamestaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe there are a lot of people who deserve a punch in the nose.
_toesucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
toe sucking
SlateHardjaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women reaching up under men's kilts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the sink and spitting (although the first one I do not do socially).
BreakfastBros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Staying home on a Friday night and holding eye contact for too long.
swiper33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullying to an extent.
trikywoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People chewing loudly doesn't seem to bother me as much as it bothers the rest of reddit. It really bothers the rest of reddit.
The_Kaizz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls farting in public. It still gives me that "wtf is wrong with you" look, but I let a lot of things slide.
Sezor12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing Tobacco. Just spit it in a water bottle and not the ground and you're good to go.
JohnnyDabs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public.
snoogle312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. I tend to get some form of approval from those I'm sharing with ahead of time. Once I get that approval however, you've given it for life! So with my mom, sister and husband, I always double dip.
dontcallmefatm8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Keeping an earphone on your ear while talking to someone. You know.. multi-tasking.
slickguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Skipping down the street as an adult. Sometimes I don't feel like running while walking is just too slow, so I just wanna fucking skip like I'm in a god damn musical 'cause it's so much more efficient by leveraging the momentum of physics, what's wrong with that?
Mox_Ruby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Steroids
Teeveer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Starting a sentence with but or and. Seriously, who the fuck cares and why is that so important?
Beerfarter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the pool. 12 ounces of mostly Coors Light being released from my bladder will not make a bit of difference in the 1000s of gallons that fill a pool.
But sometimes I'll get out and pee just so people don't start to get suspicious.
The_ThirdFang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wanting or even liking children. Like no, i want to live my life and not deal with another's. Is that so bad.
ThatRussnGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the impossibility of creating a healthy society that accepts the equality of men and women
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity.
dime5150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asking for an opinion on something and the person gives you the truth rather then sugar coating it. Example: "What do you think about going to Disneyland with all of the inlaws?" instead of "oh that would be so much fun yipeee" Someone says "Well since we don't really talk to each other, and bobby and sue would rather be caught dead then be with each other, it's probably not the best idea".
BluLemonade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
#FreeTheNipple
Komototoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mass shootings. I'd like to think I could have control over this, but since society has accepted it. I've decided to make a conscious design to just be OK with it. Thanks Murica.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yawning really isn't such a big issue. So what if someone didn't get a good nights sleep? Most of the time they aren't trying to be a dick!
crunch816 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose.
The_Canadian_Devil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being draped in velvet.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spitting.
Zhylaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well if sex fetishes count, while I really don't have any; none phase me and I'm down for whatever. You want me to piss on you? Sure I'll pee on you honey.
iamkuato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
public nudity. public smoking. recreational drug use. public displays of affection.
gbdotnguyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating a spoonful of mayo in front of me...
madbassist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty mich everything. People wine and bitch about so much these days, but none of it really bothers me
MightyKripton7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Animal testing
MrFahrenkite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making shit sounds in public restrooms. Bitch I'm here for one thing and one thing only.
Heysoos_Christo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking people how much money they make or them asking me.
skcwizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am fine with anything that doesnt involved hurting another person or their property. Do drugs, fuck in public, or pretty much anything.
MDGiov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about salaries/wages in a normal, friendly setting.
ScienceAteMyKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking.
whatsdup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irish exit, every time.
Justcozshedancesgogo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Randomly grab your colleagues boobs or vagina at work. I'm a stripper so this happens frequently. Just last night another girl I work with asked to see my vagina because it has no inner labia and she found it strange. Later in the night the same girl grabbed me by the bum and pretended to have sex with me from behind in the changing room just out of boredom.
cmg45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public sex. I wish we were still in Roman days.....
BIG_BANK_THEORY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Elbows on the table. I'm not big on table manners personally. There's food on the table. I want that food. I'll employ any means to eat that food.
damianstuart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In Ireland the story is that at table, with all the family round, putting your elbows on the table was taking room away from the people either side and was disrespectful to them.
baneful64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it doesn't affect anybody but the people doing the activity I don't care what anybody does.
d1rkSMATHERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick your damn nose if it's bothering you. Just wash your hands before you touch me.
Casual_Xtescy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My biggest one is at least with the older crown; Tattoos and Piercings.
_ELAP_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Butt stuff.
Eclypse90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend walked outside while we were waiting for our food to call her dad. She said it would be rude to talk on the phone while i'm sitting there, but honestly i would rather have her talking on the phone rather than me sitting alone in a booth pretending to do stuff on my phone.
brildenlanch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're going to be very sad soon.
Specktagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being yourself in public.
Sadomaniqui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide, mind your own business and let them die if they want to.
OHGODTHELEMONS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about money. Money intrigues me so I like to know how much someone is making at their new job or how much their car costs. You always have to dance around the dollar sign in conversation.
Mccmangus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being tremendously forward as long as you can do it without being a dick.
AwesomeMan14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose
I do it when I'm alone in the bathroom, not in public. How else am I supposed to keep my nose clean?
itsZiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having opinions different than others
LunarProphet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, racism doesn't really bother me. It's so common where I live that it doesn't make me as uncomfortable as it probably should. I wouldnt say I'm ok with it, but I'm just desensitized to it.
notsureiflying ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cheating.
Addictedtotacobell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drug use
WayOfTheDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't shake everyone's hand on they way out or in, when it's a close group of friends even. Everyone is sorta just waiting... But I really don't feel like going around the room to shake everyone's hand... Fuck that
MeanaDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not receiving or writing thank you cards! I find them so forced and fake yet people except to get them when they give a gift. The whole idea seems silly to me.
TimmyP7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. It's the human body, and the main reason it's taboo today is because it's linked to sex, which is a false assumption.
Driving the speed limit. It seems like not going 10 over is frowned upon, since I'd be rich if I had a dollar for every car that passed me while I was going the limit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Table manners when im in my own home. I get it if your in public or at a dinner meeting/interview, but if im in my own home and tell me im eating my T bone steak incorrectly and you dont like it then you can fuck right off and leave.
eskimoe25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People being honest.
Calebcalebcaleb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoting a post you don't agree with
JestaKilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling people on their bullshit. Not letting people get away with being assholes.
waterdrinker9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just talking about sex! Everyone acts like a prude. We're allowed to sing about the bitches we'll fuck, talk about a certain celebrity posing nude or having a wardrobe malfunction and an actress dressing in something sexual. But when it comes to having a honest conversation, it's frowned upon.
Romeo_horse_cock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating after my friends. Talking to my fwb while he's shitting, talking about his iron not working actually, and then coming back many times while he's taking said shit to talk more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling some actions wrong.
farhadd2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not blessing you when you sneeze. No need for you to do it for me either.
E_L_E ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Running in public to arrive at a destination quicker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with a lot of things that are considered inappropriate. If something someone else is doing is hurting someone else or violating their rights or treating them outwardly disrespectfully, then don't be an asshole. But if it does none of those things and is just considered "rude" or "uncouth", whatever. Do what you do and people can deal with it.
cynoclast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting.
shelly12345678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Describing someone by their most notable trait, i.e. instead of "you met Bob... he was wearing a red shirt... he has glasses..." - "Bob was the black guy." I think it's a Canadian thing to pretend race doesn't exist.
pakepake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting observation..I've always felt that using a race adjective was reserved for someone not of your race. I.e., in describing someone white, like me, I wouldn't necessary call that out unless it required it. I know folks of other races can do the same, but curious vantage point.
donteatmynoodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having personal opinions
OmniumRerum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanking people IN PERSON, FACE TO FACE, instead of sending a card later that says the same thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The KKK
TheSoyestofSauces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lanternchild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sadly helps to spread diseases though. I think it is okay to do anything that doesn't affect the life of others and the decission to not wash your hands could have an huge affect on the lifes of others.
e.g. MRSA or EHEC or HUS --> source: Dad is a doctor and was angry on people whilst the EHEC epidemic in Europe because they are spreading the disease by not washing hands.
Georgia_Ball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Organized disorganization. When I organize, I can never find anything. However, I noticed there is a pattern to my mess.
SpideyPoolRomance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking with your mouth full. Does not bother me. At all. But please people, chew with your damn mouth closed.
kiki2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I quite honestly don't give a shit which illicit substances people choose to use, or where, so long as they're otherwise respectful and not bothering anyone who doesn't want to be bothered.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling something "retarded" as in it is stupid.
potatoslasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I will get some serious shit for this......but I support American invasion of Iraq in 2003, that bastard Saddam Hussein and his regime had done enough terrible things and the fact that he didn't have nukes at that moment does not matter to me, taken I am not American myself so take it as you will.
xxJenocidexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone being naked all the time. Personally, I just find it much more comfortable and I don't mind seeing other people au natural. Probably I got desensitized from being in so many sports locker rooms, but still, I would enjoy being naked all the time.
Coolpotadoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating ass. Seriously its awesome.
Stingysteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christ raping black metal.
KingOfTheJerks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Peasants.
1Raizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with not having small talks.
For example if I see someone I know on the street and I don't really feel like talking, I just say hi and make an excuse so I could leave.
It seems awkward but sometimes I just don't really like to talk, it's not about the person, and I don't wish to be rude but I just feel drained sometimes.
sarais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this is one of those "sort by controversial to see the best answers" thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling someone retarded
sam_long ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
I don't get the "I'm getting ready to stone you" reaction to two adults fucking, particularly siblings. I can see how a parent/child relationship can have an extremely unbalanced power dynamic but that's a reason to advise against it (if you're asked), not categorize them as completely and utterly fucked up.
Just to clarify; I'm not talking about reproducing, I'm discussing actual adults who are capable of rationally assessing the implications of creating life in these circumstances.
e2theitauequals1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being barefoot in public. How is the bottom of my shoe more sanitary than the bottom of my foot?
Dirtpig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. If you want to run around in public naked, please do.
yamsonyams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing on a tree in a park, sometimes you just gotta go.
MeijinKitsune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cutting in line. I don't do it myself because it causes a shitstorm, of course, but I really don't care about the minute or so that I've lost.
FappDerpington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. Obviously, don't drop ass in a closed in area, but if we're outside, or you go off a bit to let 'er rip, what's the problem. Everyone does it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower... while not taking a shower.
joshhc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not giving to/ignoring a homeless person asking for my hard earned money.
hereticjones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving misbehaving
little shitskids the ass-whooping they deserve.I so often see some poor asshole suffering a kid throwing a fit in the store or whatever. It sucks. But you don't know if the kid has aspergers or whatever the fuck, and also, there's few ways to piss off a stranger quicker than to offer unsolicited "help" with rearing their kid.
Man. Goddamn. The one and only time I saw a dad say something like, "You stop right now or you'll be sorry," I thought it was awesome. Then the kid screamed again anyway, so true to his word Dad gave him a smack, and the kid was all set to freak out some more but the Dad's raised finger in the kid's face and glare said, "I can do this all day."
The kid shut up and after a few minutes they went on shopping.
In the middle of the produce section of the grocery in front of God and everyone. It was glorious.
Oh another time a Mom was with three kids like ages 8-12 and the middle kid was acting like a damn fool. She apparently had enough but all she had to do was snap her fingers like a whip crack and say the kid's name and that kid chilled right the fuck out and came correct. I was impressed. To be fair that Mom looked tough as fucking nails and if she did that to me I'd probably do what she said, too.
astronautassblaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pubes
exactly_average ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping, I don't care about germs and I really like dip.
Darktroop6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not once have I ever became sick by someone double dipping........ And I probably won't ever. Shit is stupid that people get grossed out
GrillingHotDogs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Live free
Maxhol3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
eating with your hands. been doin it since i was a wee lad
cuginhamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This thread should sort by controversial by default.
If you're not getting downvotes, you're not answering the question!
Shmoopled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not putting bark dust on every inch of dirt on my property. I went to fifteen grad parties after graduating high school and every single house I went to had fresh bark dust laid down on every speck of dirt in preparation for having guests. What's wrong with seeing dirt or just growing more plants?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all of them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Darktroop6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea that's just creepy.
hazelfoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
flag burning.
Freedom of speech, anyone?
JoeDGemma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well thats kind of like saying
"Racism. Freedom of speech, anyone?"
Now of course racism and flag burning are two completely different things, but the thought process that something being protected by the first amendment makes it immune to criticism is flawed. Now I don't mind if people burn the flag, but I can totally understand why others would be upset or offended by it.
momo1300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. Everyone does it. Why are people so uptight about it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
letsdoitbuttstyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...you know, just general butt stuff.
Floydimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public expectoration.
PatriotsFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None really, manners and politeness are pretty important to me, and usually socially unacceptable things are socially unacceptable for a reason. Also everything I see here in this thread that I agree with, isn't really socially unacceptable. Like silence, who the hell thinks silence is socially unacceptable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who drink something with food in their mouth. I personally don't give a damn because it's their drink and they're the only ones who are going to be drinking out of it. The same thing applies to me so who cares? What, you get grossed out when witnessing it? Look away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most of the things in this thread are completely acceptable, only looked down on by a very, VERY small minority of people. which is also good, because if this thread had its way, we'd be living in some sort of totalitarian 20s society.
insperaeshun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Singing in the car. I mean I do it all the time. But, for like that split second on the highway as you pass the other car you look around like you're listening to npr or something.
plaidbread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Coming in after 9 and leaving before 5. As long as the work is completed on time at high quality who really cares how or when it gets done?
SandwichSwagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
9/11 jokes.
Yeah yeah it was tragic, but it was also 14 years ago, and we need to move on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SandwichSwagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People just get pissed at me and tell me to fuck off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SandwichSwagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I didn't realise there was a joke till just now.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to the government
SandwichSwagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But they're the ones who did it right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not washing hands, eating off someone else's plate/drinking from their cup.
Other things are not acceptable to break though. If i hand you something, regardless of how important, say thanks. If you are asking me to get you a beer from the fridge, say please... hold the fucking door open if i am 3 steps or less behind you.
chevron14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't read any of this thread, but double dipping. Sorry if this is saying it again
easygoing714 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking on a Cellular phone in a public place. Why do people freak out about it?
ElsweyrFondue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because you call it a "Cellular phone"
PrinceMerlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racial Humor...im not racist i just find it funny
whiskycoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose in my car. Not you though. That's disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so many things -
Prostitution. It boils down to 2 consenting adults (provided both are 18+) having sex. And, let's face it, both men and women "pay for sex", it's just not always in cash. Sometimes it's love, or goods, or a house, or children, or whatever.
Incest (kind of). While I'm not into it at all I don't see why two cousins can't enjoy a good romp provided there's no risk of any harm to a possible child (I don't really know how that works with genetics). Parent and child is far too weird for me to accept, but I could even accept siblings. Whatever lol.
"Offensive" jokes. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
Those are just a few :)
cantthinkkangaroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using the word cunt. I am a woman, I'm not Australian, and I don't get why it's so offense.
rockidol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking pictures of people in public without their consent (excluding people getting changed or people in restrooms or whatever).
I mean you're in public you're obviously OK with people seeing you like that and the picture doesn't do anything. Oh you're worried that certain people might see it? Well what's to stop people from telling others that you were there.
40oz2freeedom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abortion
BtDB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not returning my shopping cart.
Especially in the summer.
Southyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burps.
LazyPalpatine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zappin' a bitch and throwin' him out a window.
kessel_run ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a coffee shop and a few times a day there will always be a pair of friends and one will say "order something, it's on me" and of course the other person will go "what??? No absolutely not you can't do that." And of course that goes on for a bit before its "ok ok but I owe you one."
For me if someone offers to pay for something that's only a few dollars like coffee, I don't even argue I just say thanks. Likewise if I offer to buy someone coffee it's not out of charity or anything. I'm well aware you dont need help paying for coffee. Just lemme do a small nice gesture for you, friend.
wallysyrup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most gender roles.
Liftylym ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NOT trying to avoid the friendzone like a puzzle. If a girl doesn't like me for who I really am why would I like to make her my girlfriend? Also the friendzone is a retarded excuse.
sclaviexnihilo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the one that I really don't get is the social horror about zoophilia. Not really my bag, but not really something that bothers me either. Way I see it, as a society, we are perfectly all right with animals dying horrible deaths on an industrial scale. The vast majority of people simply don't CARE that in order to get that pound of chicken 10 cents cheaper, a LOT more chickens lived lives that were unhealthy, and died a much nastier death then necessary. Same for pigs and pork, beef steer and beef, and so forth. Add to that the ludicrous argument of consent, as not one of the animals above gave their consent to be suffocated/electrocuted/exsanguinated or whatever. Period. Life wants to live. And if you are going to be perfectly o.k. with the factory horror that leads to your double-with-cheese, why in hells do you care if some screwhead plays dick games with some other animal? I think it's mostly the hypocrisy that annoys me. If a rule applies, let it apply as universally as possible.
menkeee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping and farting as long as it doesnt smell bad.
occ1p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really loud and drawn out and/or beefy farts. Farts are just funny.
xxx420mygurthxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pissing in a sink, honestly don't see the problem, it saves water....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like responding to obvious questions with extreme answers. For example, one time I was buying a can of paint and the check out person asked "So you going to paint something?"
"What? no. I'm going to take this paint home, dump it on myself, lay down in my living room, and pretend to be a carrot for 4 or 5 hours."
I mean come on. I buying a can of paint. What do you think I'm doing?
MalenkoMC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Here's your sign"
Darktroop6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I love this, too bad people get offended to easily.
saxcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Casual racism
Mercarcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating. It's an extremely valuable skill. You should train yourself in it to not get caught.
dmbc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Closing email for a good part of the work day. I need to get my job done, not worry about answering emails as quickly as possible.
mnhoops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating with my hands.
Mysecretpassphrase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Banging married broads.
evolvedude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public breastfeeding. Yes I'm a dude.
KyubeyDidNoWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going into the "wrong bathroom"
Seriously who the fuck cares? You're in there to piss.
greatestbeforeiknew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. Studies suggest it is a sign of intelligence. I suggest it confirms our evolution from apes.
MalenkoMC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you give me some citation for one of these studies? I really need to show this to my wife... :)
MalenkoMC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you give me some citation for one of these studies? I really need to show this to my wife... :)
german_mtz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a much smaller personal space window than your average person so usually if im really engaged in a conversation people end up being a bit creeped out.
amnsisc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The use of drugs.
ikorolou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
smoking cigarettes as long as its outdoors.
amnsisc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sex work.
Im_probably_naked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping.
amnsisc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Betrayal, if there's a necessary and rational reason for it.
RuneAngel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sending hand made thank you cards.It's easy just to buy, write and sent. :/ (Kinda lazy that way.)
amnsisc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Arrogance.
Eclypse90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you say that?
KidGeezer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My canned response to that question is always; "because I don't know sign language."
Tidlywank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hats indoors. No actual reason to find it rude.
raisedbysheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sleeping around. It's like, am I supposed to really use one erection per person I meet?
somethinsexy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Throwing cigarette butts out of a window. What's the big deal?
AllisGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping noodles.
xyroclast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling at odd hours of the night (if it's a friend)
I don't mind being woken up by things.
sooperdooperboi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping after drinking a soft drink. As long as you say "excuse me" it's no problem.
Phiggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Promiscuous women.
veloci-nap-tor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slapping people who make noises when they eat.
hodgepodgeroger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Second hand smoke outside. It is seriously not that big of a deal.
serb2212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking outside. Its normal where I'm from
ShotsandShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public sex
HEpennypackerNH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
too late, but here goes:
Farting, Burping, picking noses....all the stuff that I know EVERYONE does anyway when nobody is looking.
failtolaunch28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bits and pieces of social Darwinism
strangeasylum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people don't send thank you cards for gifts. They have no effect on me
candleAssassin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking, as long as you keep it to yourself. Ditto with teeth. I understand some people are grossed out by this, but I'm mostly "meh" about it. I hate it when people sniffle and snort, and nose picking solves that. Having things in your teeth is awkward because I have ADHD and I will stare. Pick it out. I don't mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pink_balloons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because a leg is different from penis, and it's not just about touching that, it's that you touched other things in the bathroom that are crawling with germs. Not washing your hands is a really good way to make others or yourself sick. :)
OurLastCrusade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat indoors / at the dinner table
Rlaumnalde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a casual sexual relationship. If you're both consenting adults, why the hell not?
WIZARD_WATCH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind people pissing in public as long as people are moderately discreet and respectful about it
izvest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing comfy clothes at formal parties.
I don't think it adds anything to the party to wear uncomfortable and stiff clothes like suits. If I'm there, I care, even if I'm wearing casual clothes.
McBeaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not going over to say hello to someone if you see them in a social setting when there is no desire on either side to do so. For example, it is considered rude if you see an ex at a party to not at least go say hello quickly. Back before cell phones when people would just disappear into the ether, it made sense to talk to people you haven't seen in a while, regardless of how well you knew them. Now there are a million ways to stay in touch with people if you want to. Just because we are in the same room, doesn't mean its rude to continue to not talk when we haven't in a long time, especially if its just easier that way for everyone involved. I don't really care what you've been up to and I'm sure you don't want to pretend to be nice to my new gf. Why is it rude to just avoid all that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women going topless, anytime, anywhere. I'm totally cool with this.
Epicura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yawning without holding your hand before your mouth
um_hi_there ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not acknowledging every person I know at gatherings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Defecating in public. Mainly peeing. It's kind of ridiculous. I mean there is being vulgar, and then there is needing to go, real bad to the point to where you don't mind squatting in a dark alley.
ixfd64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Butcherandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: sociopaths
Nilzone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double-dipping
Boush117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is no specific taboo against this, but I sometimes quietly whistle to myself while walking or shopping or something.
It is sad, being (sometimes) looked at like a freak when I quietly whistle Beethoven's works or something to myself, since I am not even loud.
Cheeze_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people that are being stupid that they are being stupid.
If they are acting as if they are retarded, when they aren't retarded is not only an insult to us non-retards but to the retards as well. They don't have a choice in it. We do.
Ranwithbears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People texting in movies I don't find it distracting at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
JimGerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not making a point of saying "bye" on the phone. We both we're done, let's just end this.
JohnD1451 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating before everyone else has there food. Like first come first serve, bitch!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
blackcoachjesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
dog biscuit can be edibled by a cat with cardiac arrest ?
GammonBlaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing and Eating with your hands. I do those all the time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I genuinely thought this would be a much more interesting comment section. Instead all you guys have to say is that you hate being with your friends and family.
turnitupthatsmyjam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And they love to pee in the shower.
rosiedokidoki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SUPER DUPER late on this one but: premarital sex. I'm a muslim and so this is a big no-no and even though I haven't HAD premarital sex I legitimately do not give two FLYING FUCKS. But I can't say that. So here we are.
Phileap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to a grocery store and eating food without paying for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I lived with my ex-boyfriend, he would frequently pee in water bottles (we lived in a two story place and he often didn't feel like going downstairs to pee). He would leave these water bottles in places where, if friends came over randomly, they would see them. I honestly didn't give a fuck lol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. Is there really enough germs warrant eating the rest of the chip without dip?
smsdude45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat during dinner/pledge of allegiance/national anthem/inside. Can someone give me a good explanation for why it's considered disrespectful? It's just a hat
VibratingColors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently, "The origins of this tradition happen to be the same as the origins of the tradition of saluting. Knights, wearing helmets that covered their heads, would typically lift their visors to show their faces to their monarchs and others as a sign of friendliness and possibly respect in some cases. The tradition of using ones right hand also comes from this. Most people are right handed and thus, if your right hand is exposed and busy lifting your visor, it canโt contain a weapon. This then is a sign symbolic of submission."
LazyButCrazy29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/trees
steggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say to lie...just because a baby is ugly doesn't mean it doesn't have beautiful blue eyes.
deesh8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking out of a bowl.
dolphinus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing people adjusting or touching themselves in public. Well, undies malfunction to be honest. I am sure everyone does that ... so that is acceptable to me.
The other is nose picking, also everyone does it.
Ghost_to_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating before everyone gets their food. Just eat your food before it gets cold, mine's on it's way...no big deal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Watching Filthy Frank
Hippocentaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose and eating the loot
neonswimmergirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding. Maybe more mothers would do it.
ShadowRaptor95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower.
Aspeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
who cares if your house is dirty
ofayokay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a week long vacation by myself last year. It was paradise.
shark_eating_unicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nipples.
edgaralleno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin is alright with compliments from strangers. I'm alright with drugs.
bmh825 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a m4m gay couple that doesn't have anal sex.
AGibusSpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like censorship on youtube, or the internet in general. You found it because you WANTED to see it! (But things like posting pictures of murder. I can understand that but swearing/non-sexual nudity? Really?)
jaysonhd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public
ehjhockey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking, farting (when not in a tightly enclosed space), snot rocketeering, undergarment adjustment, being in public in sweatpants/crocs/general lazy day gear (provided the public place is walking distance from your home and you do not intend to linger there).
Sometimes being a human is kinda gross.
One_crazy_mofo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Food sharing. I have a two year old who will have a plate of delicious food right in front of her - foods that requested by the way - and barely touch any of it. I'm basically the garbage disposal of the family. I can't see that for go to waste!
Ford_truck_lover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abortion and acutally speaking my mind when someone is being a cunt. Oh and not believing in god. But I think poeple are coming around on that last one.
cwlabuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cute girls i dont know touching me, let it be known i'm OK with that.
cnr0138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marriage between 3 or more consenting adults.
dantemp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have zero problem with the top twenty answers. Who decided those stuff to be socially unacceptable?
GoodAtExplaining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gay marriage?
titsinmyinbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wanting to have children. "You'll regret it." And "You are going to be alone."
Is it so bad to feel like children aren't my thing? Nothing against 'em but I just feel like I wouldn't like being a parent. My situation is fine.
coffeeINJECTION ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing white after Labor Day.
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Call it "winter white" and your safe :)
Joshawa119 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I might be a little late to the party, but I hate the rule that you're not allowed to wear a hat indoors or while eating. I love my hats and I don't see any reason to take it off when I go inside or eat.
Pinworm45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double Dipping.
Getting some of your germs will only increase my immune system
plain chips without dip are gross.
Double dip away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How unacceptable does it have to be for this thread? I'd have said "going barefoot anytime anywhere" but I don't get more than called a retard for doing it, and usually only by friends.
clarkey96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying the word 'cunt' honestly when I'm with my housemates I use the word just as much as any other swear word
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking weed, or drinking too much
FatalFury624 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking.
thisismarcus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating food thats been dropped on the floor.
darkbob101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but my mom and others seem to have a huge problem with me conversing with sunglasses on. Like seriously, we're outside and it's bright as shit. fuck you, deal with my sunglasses.
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, if I'm meeting someone for the first time, I'll take my sunglasses off. Otherwise-don't see the problem
darkbob101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, for the first time it's understandable, but for people who know me, why bother?
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
exactly, I don't think that is impolite at all.
weirdfisharpeggi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Barging past tourists on the tube/underground/subway. Some of us have places to be, quit your dawdling! Let people off the tube before you get on and for heaven's sake stand on the right hand side of the escalator to let people in a hurry past.
Luckily during rush hour most people understand the 'rules' but those darned tourists can be so clueless.
Porkieporkpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygami. If all parties agree, who are we to say the shouldn't?
joelthezombie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
They are all consenting adults so there is no real issue.
Mooorgasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone asking how much I make or vice versa. I'm genuinely curious how much people get paid in different careers and don't assume that if someone makes more money they are more accomplished or smarter (or even better off financially for that matter).
pain-is-living ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding without covering up. Honestly doesn't bother me, but my family and friends freak out.
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
are you male or female. I wonder if it makes a difference--also maybe age. It never bothered me (female-52yrs.)
pain-is-living ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am 19M. Honestly, it annoys me how everyone has to sexualize everything. My friends and family complain because they don't want their husband, kids, dog, whatever seeing a females boob. Like what the fuck, she is feeding her child. It's natural, nothing sexual about it.
Kellianne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my husband, 65M, and he agrees, there is nothing sexual about it. He said really the only thing he looks at is the loving look on moms' faces, then goes about his business.
ROOTCasper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PICKING YOUR NOSE.
YOUNG_G0D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would solo-fishing count? I love fishing alone.
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are a certain number of people who think carving out some time to be completely alone is selfish. I agree with you 100%. I need to be alone sometimes.
john1177496 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pooping with the door open.
Spodermayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not looking at me while speaking. I really don't consider a lack of eye contact to be rude or distasteful, and I don't get why it makes a difference. I also talk to a lot of people who's first language is not English, and many times they'll look down or look at my mouth to better concentrate on what I'm actually saying rather than look in my pupils like a zombie.
Nick12506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. It shouldn't be illegal, it doesn't hurt anyone and if everyone divorced each other, any kids would have 3 parental incomes to take from.
kinkakinka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a situation where everyone is a fully consenting adult, I have no issue with polyamory, but unfortunately there are still a pile of disgusting assholes who use religion as a reason to marry 14 year old girls. I think it should be legal too, but we'd be traipsing through a minefield.
Nick12506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that some assholes use it for exploitation.
If Polygamy was legalized then that section would become a extremely small minority, just like how it currently is when relating to society as a whole.
l0rdishtar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IV drug use. Seriously, it's just another route of administration. Butt-chugging on the other hand has got to go.
nitarrific ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Straight up honesty. Having to beat around the bush or come up with excuses to spare someone's feelings is ridiculous and often leads to more trouble than it's worth. But somehow honesty has become socially unacceptable.
greeneyesontherise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about poop/pooping habits.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm perfectly okay with never having children. However, where I live now this seems to be seen as an abomination. Women are only for nagging their husbands and popping out babies around here, apparently. Why is it anyone else's business if someone else does or doesn't want children?? Stop shoving your gross little babies in my face just because you know I'm not interested. :(
zardwiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any form of sex, so long as everyone is consenting (or inanimate and therefore irrelevant). Want to fuck your furbie? Not my thing, but who am I to judge? Maybe you get off on the furbie noises it makes. Want to get the crap beat out of you by ten men before you get off? Have a ball.
iamriddik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving my hat on inside
theirv15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone said dating someone older than you? I feel like from 18-20 it would be considered robbing the cradle, but olden than that if you're old enough to drink you can see who you want.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Age gaps are tricky.For instance, 4 years, in age gap terms, is close to nothing. But a 16 and 20 year old dating versus a 24 and 28 year old dating are wholly different. It all comes down to maturity. You change a fuck ton between the ages of 16 and 20. It's not so much that it's wrong, but unless the younger party is very mature (or the older party highly immature, I suppose), then it gets a bit unhealthy, as there are certain fundamental differences that would make a relationship of that nature difficult to work with. But this is probably just preaching to the choir.
Larger age gaps, say, a minimum of 10 years, are even trickier. No matter what stage in life you're in, 10 years will change a person a whole lot. Never mind some gaps like 20 years, which is how far apart my uncle and his wife are. They started getting together when she was 17 and he was 36. If you ask me, that's disgusting and borderline pedophilic. Hell, it may even be straight up pedophilia. I'm still on the fence about it.
What do you think?
theirv15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I meant more in a physical sense. If it's merely a sexual relationship, then it isn't a big deal provided you are both aware it's strictly physical
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mac_drevious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pretty sure this is still socially acceptable
classygent29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Butt stuff
1tequila2tequila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about money and financial issues. Why be so private with close friends and family, know each others situations and help each other out if need be. Doesn't bother me people knowing how skint I am..
elk-x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Things that are unacceptable in the USA and nowhere else
Mhysa-luv-u-longtime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting dick pics and sexual messages in general... I won't necessarily be turned on by them all but I don't think it's that much of big deal and I don't really get offended by them or grossed out
StacheBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't envy your inbox for the next day or two.
Mhysa-luv-u-longtime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yours is the only message I've received haha I guess it's only fun to send them to people who don't want them
gotenks1114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly sexual stuff. Pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia, polyamory, corporophilia, even most fetishes don't offend me. The one strange exception to this is BDSM. No idea why.
Also, I wish people would cry in public more.
SeeSickCrocodile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Snot-rockets in the shower.
GreedyWarlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting, burping, eating boogers, biting nails.
kongaroospajamas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A friend that eats his/her food first before my dish arrives. Someone not opening the door for me...actually I kind of don't like people opening doors for me beacuse it makes me feel obligated walk faster.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Murdering random people where they stand. Chill out people, it's the year 2015.
MedTainer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. It is a natural thing. I do agree a blanket is would be more appropriate in certain places but if you don't have one and need to feed your kid, it is a must. People just need to learn not to stare when someone does it and it won't be a issue for them.
scuzzwadd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not shaking someones hand. I don't need my whole personality judged over a mildy greasy palm.
PM_ME_YOUR_OWN_BOOBS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women with armpit hair. People I know say that it's weird, but I don't even notice it.
Imagine_Penguins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing.
From Walmart.
Fuck Walmart
Mac_drevious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this is sorta like stealing from children in poverty
Imagine_Penguins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
huh... I don't .....Sarcasm?
Pdsn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
groping in public. some girls hate it, but i especially like seeing a guy do it to their gf...just for a quick second, just grab a boob or grab that ass and squeeze, let it go!
grillbesteck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rioting
Pdsn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
groping in public. some girls hate it, but i especially like seeing a guy do it to their gf...just for a quick second, just grab a boob or grab that ass and squeeze, then let it go!
Wilax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:26 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Playing computer games...
StarChild419 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I have an itch in my nose, I'm going to scratch it/ pick it, we all do it.
captnheffo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're a male, crossing your legs when you sit down. I always feel as if people just assume I'm feminine judging by the way I sit, but having my legs crossed is just the most comfortable way for me because of my long, skinny legs.
Mac_drevious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also more comfortable on the man junk
captnheffo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's just stumpy-leg folks who've grown the stigma out of jealousy
YuDanCha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being asked about my income. I don't really care if people know how much/little money I make.
crrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How much do you make?
SuchGirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People having sex in public?
"Oh, would you look at that, what a cute 3some"
Kellianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to strangers--like in an elevator, a waiting room etc. As long as you aren't a kid of course. And never take candy.
CaptZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public. Everyone does it and really, it's not quite like a burp. You can't keep it inside.
Thompson_S_Sweetback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. Or any weird clothing in public.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a little gross since you're so closely related, but hey, if you want to, and they want to, and you all know what you're doing, and they're not, like, children, go for it.
Granted, it will land you in jail if you're caught, so I'd advise against it.
QueenNala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudist culture. Honestly this is 2015, everyone knows what a human fucking body looks like and you don't have to go and sexualize it.
goomah5240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hating other people
DesireenGreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity, polyamory, men crying, yelling at someone being an asshole, not shaving, not leaving ones house for weeks at a time, generally not conforming to gender norms, telling someone that they're talking about something that is boring to you, I'm sure there's more but it's what I can think of.
Lilwolf2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy, as long as everyone involved is up for it, and divorce is available for all... Who cares.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Polyamory is totally acceptable, but marriage? Never.
Lilwolf2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm find with marriage for Polygamists also. Lot's of people used it as a 'whats next, polygamy' after the gay marriage arguments. I kinda thought... sure, why not, if they all want too... sure! (and again, if divorce is legal for each individually)
kstonge11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind
Djiri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People not saying the words "thank you". Of you're polite and give me a smile is more than enough
Soft_Taco_Steve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting
ccc888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a maid, shit I'm not going to be bothered dusting and vacuuming every week...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must be a homosexual.
When did you choose to be a homosexual?
Please, please, spare me the detail. I'm not slapping you over the face with my sexuality.
imperialmonkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not going out of your way to say "hi"
JohnDingles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vigilante justice, at time our justice system makes mistakes so why shouldn't we right them?
dejectedguy23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having herpes
nuck_forte_dame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cussing. I say what I fucking want to. Obviously try not to over do it or use it in places like a funeral but in general conversation I cuss.
Getting wasted. No one really wants to get wasted and need to be helped home and such. Its not like they did it on purpose. So help them out and don't hold it against them. We all had those nights where the alcohol hit us particularly hard.
Being jokingly offensive. Everybody knows that person who thinks they are so high and mighty and every time you crack a joke about a socially unacceptable think they call it out. Crack a black people joke and they say it's racist as the black friend is dying of laughter. Holocaust joke? Not around them. Fuck off and get a sense of humor.
Drinking at all. Where I come from its very conservative and people frown at drinking at all. Everyone in my family drinks but they all hide it from one another to save face. Family reunions could be a blast if we all just came clean and stopped judging.
Speeding while driving. Todays cars are so much better then when the speed limits were made. Better handling, stopping distance, safety, sensors, crash test ratings, and on and on. Makes no sense that I should go under 85 on an interstate so I don't. Still have yet to ever be ticketed on the interstate. I think cops know it's bull shit.
Masturbation. We gotta do what we gotta do.
Dumpster diving. I furnished most of my apartment out of dumpsters and make money selling working mini fridges I get. Glare at me, tell me you are calling the cops, and so on. I don't care I want the stuff you are throwing away and I'll wave the money I get for it in your face.
Public making out. You don't have to stare. I understand if there's kids around or if it gets into groping that's a bit far. But just making out I'm fine with as long as you don't make someone a third wheel.
Grinding and making out at a bar or club. I mean plenty of people do it but some of the people I know still frown upon it. Nothing like the girl you have a crush on and finally got to dance and takeout with telling you she's so embarrassed that people saw her. At my college there was even a Twitter for pictures of people making out at bars or parties. To some was a shame thing. To me it was a scoreboard. I had fun and I don't care if people didn't approve.
That's leads into one night stands. Now I'm a guy who saves sex for girls that I at least have some feelings for. I'll take other girls home but no actual sex just hands and oral. Usually only girls I've met at least twice because I want to stay STD free. But I don't judge anyone, even girls who fuck around all the time. Power to you, just use a condom.
Not making eye contact during conversations. I find it easier to concentrate when I'm looking at something else.
Liking nerdy stuff like video games, cosplay, and so on. That's what I like so you don't need to assume I must be an awkward quiet guy with no friends. Also girls feel free to be nerdy guys love it.
Eating regular food and not buying into the organic food bull shit fad. I have friends who discredit me just because I eat stuff out of cans and frozen stuff. Well science says I'm in the right and I got the degree in agriculture so fuck off.
Having an older vehicle. I really like mid 90s ford trucks and I would consider it a dream vehicle. I now have one.
Being a know it all. I'm not just going to sit while you spread a myth or misinformation around. I personally find it interesting when someone corrects me and I'm glad because otherwise I'd look like a dumb ass spreading around stuff like wrong dates or facebook fake facts.
Part of the misinformation part is me being atheist I'd really like to come out to my family but I can't because they are in over their heads and wouldn't accept it. I'd also like it if it was accepted to hold friendly debates on the subject. Most older people though simply don't listen and therefore debate is impossible. My mom with change the channel anytime something about evolution or anti religion is on. On the other hand I watch church on tv on occasion just to see that my choice was right and it usually reaffirms my views especially the 700 club. That pat Robinson is a scum bag. You can tell he knows it's all bull and just wants the money and power. He rides around on his horse on his million dollar estate and tells me I need to give more to charity? I do need to but he's not the person to say it.
I'm sure there's more but I don't have time.
UniversalFarrago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
"Don't swear, it's not ladylike"
Fuck you, I'm not a lady. Am I at work, a funeral, around several children, or at a formal dinner with Queen Elizabeth? No? Then shove it.
Just because one disagrees with something doesn't make it morally wrong. I disagree with incest, I think it's gross and a bit sick. But if everyone is over 18, consenting, and fully aware of what they are doing, as well as not having children, then who am I to say they can't? It's not wrong. Icky, yeah. But wrong? I think that word is better used to describe things like rape or murder.
I don't like casual sex. I think it's sad how it's become an activity, how everyone is fucking everyone left and right and rubbing on each other in clubs like a bunch of dogs in heat. Is it wrong? Fuck no. Am I better than others in choosing to keep sex intimate? Absolutely not. I disagree with it, tough shit. Not everyone is like me.
People seriously need to understand this.
pr1apism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being to open and honest with my opinions. Every now and then I'll be like I was probably wrong to say that, but I meant what I said.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who says what she thinks with little to no filter, I feel your pain. Frankly, though, 90% of the time it's merely that others are in the wrong and can't deal with raw reality. There is the occasional time where you should have just kept your mouth shut, or approached the subject differently, but those are really few and far between.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I may be wrong, but road rage is more akin to harassing the person you're annoyed with. Stalking them, running them off the road, getting out of your car to yell at them.
That's just reckless, irresponsible, and childish. Not to mention dangerous.
Getting annoyed and yelling in your own car? Yeah, no issue there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, well then in that case, I road rage every fucking day.
People seriously frown upon you bitching in your own damned car? What got stuck up their ass?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really, anyone that doesn't use turn signals, stops at intersections, or goes 10+ miles per hour beneath the speed limit deserves to have explosive diarrhea in the thick of standstill traffic.
safescience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting.
I have no issue with it. Let it rip. And burping.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is repulsive.
How can you say that?!?!
safescience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you have to fart, fart. For me, it physically causes pain as I get terrible gas pains and I have IBS.
It really just doesn't bother me. Chewing with your mouth open...now that bothers me.
reagor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting, specifically holding them in...I get pressure I let it out
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy.
A Mormon wants to marry 30 women? Let him. As long as everyone is over the age of 18 and he doesn't beat the women or force them into having sex, who cares?!?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you also okay with a woman marrying numerous men?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
Go ahead and do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, good on you.
Lots of people I've heard say that have a "ewwww why would she need that many dicks" reaction. Haha.
newe1344 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
picking up pennies
I know most people would think it's not worth their time, but I consider them "lucky" pennies and take a moment to reflect on how lucky my life is, every time I find one.
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know as if that's socially unacceptable though
250lespaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone checking their phone while we hang out. There's some interesting shit we like to share and talk about on the internet. It's just another way for us to find things to talk about. I don't understand the people to see and phone and go "WE'RE NOT FRNDS NE MO"
barne2tj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower
Calius1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Murder.
There is always a reason why someone murders another person. As long as the victims are not related to me or at least friends, I couldn't care less.
the_short_viking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls farting or burping in front of guys. I can't imagine having to hold in these natural body functions all of the time. Do you Booboo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs. I have no issues with people taking them, addicts are annoying, though.
Timewilltell2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having an opinion
๐๏ธ gnaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, you didn't just say that??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity.
unsubsamantix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sex in public.
Pseudophilo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory, or at least open relationships. I'm not necessarily polyamorous, but I'd totally be down if my SO wanted to see other people. And I'd love to be granted the same privilege. That being said, I'd also love to have one person to really put my effort and energy into. Literally, just the general understanding that either party can sleep with who they want if they choose to is enough. I wouldn't feel any inclination to seek out other partners at all.
DonnieKDarko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My tattoos. Although that part of society is dwindling and it makes me smile
IlookedandIsaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting... Seriously, always funny... Always!
xenobuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you're trapped in a subway car with someone who just silently slid something so sulfurous and toxic that the smell reminds you of a rotting corpse.
I deeply grudge every single second that I had to endure of the taste of that in the roof of my mouth until I could get to work and chug some coffee.
That fucking mute crop duster must have had roadkill for dinner!
IlookedandIsaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious!
xenobuzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was inspired. To paraphrase Mark Twain: "it was stench all-pervading and immortal."
Read 1601 if you want more highly literate flatulence humor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose.
Mosssalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking.
gommersGuitarmers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling people out on bullshit harshly and directly. That and being honest with emotions or how your life really is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing things like sweatpants in public, if this counts. If it's comfortable and doesn't have holes in the crotch region why the hell would you care? I'm not saying wear it to a funeral, but goddamn, who cares whether something has been deemed "acceptable." Do whatever you want as long as it isn't actually harming people or overly bothering them.
Shadowstalker75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Weed.
gazzaaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
people picking there nose
Ilosemyaccountsoften ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dude and girls give me dirty looks when I talk to them in a friendly manner. I'm not trying to hit on you, I barely even know you I'm just starting a friendly conversation because we're at the same party and you're a human being who probably has some interesting perspective to share. Also I'm out of your league and fiercly monogamous girl don't flatter yourself.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:42:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, 98 to 99 percent of the time a man starts "a conversation" with a woman, he's trying to get into her pants.
He later lies and says "I just wanted to talk to you." Yeah, right. People weren't born yesterday, you know.
Those women are right to think that you are hitting on them. Most of the time, you would be.
Ilosemyaccountsoften ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna need some stats to back that up and I think you're perception of what most guys want is really skewed by your own desires and experiences. A lot of us are polite and have a modicun of self control.
bureaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating dogs. Butchered through humane process of course.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking. I'd cum on your windshield if ya piss me off.
TaddWinter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bringing back Powdered Wigs ร la the Founding Fathers.
hunter2_hunter2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Opening your truck door and pissing on the side of the road. I work out of a truck and it happens quite frequently.
concussed_cowboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is frowned upon...? If you gotta go, I mean you gotta go
hunter2_hunter2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people might see it as me pulling my dick out in the middle of the street in front of a middle school. I explained to the officer that it wasn't for sexual reasons. I should probably find a gas station or McDonalds i guess...
tpolaris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything sexual or attraction related. Not the action, but the desire. No one chooses what gets them turned on. It's when we pursue certain unacceptable ones that make it different. And even those can be argued that they should be acceptable, but I wouldn't participate in that argument.
I understand some can be very problematic and progress to more than just desire, but I would never condemn someone for something they cannot control. Though I'd be more than happy to talk about it!
NilCealum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the difference between Pedophiles and Child Rapist/Molesters/Abuser. Pedophiles are not evil or even bad most the time, they simply have an attraction to something and that's out of their control. Its when they seek out to find ways to stimulate that attraction that it becomes an issue, but MANY if not MOST pedophiles never do anything illegal.
tpolaris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And it's a grey area with a lot of factors to consider. Some people may be attracted to young teens, or even younger. They might find that "newly developed" look attractive, or simply attracted to them because of their supposed "innocence". And of course other factors that are much more volatile. Not talking about sexuality is something that honestly has such a negative impact, and possibly a leading cause to why people do things that are illegal.
It fucking sucks that people are taught to basically shun talking about it. Life revolves around sex and reproduction, it should be glorified if anything. Some ancient civilizations did, though I can't remember which right at this moment.
NilCealum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna say Greeks
HarveyC510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing with your mouth open.
I realized, after starting college, that a LOT of people care if you chew with your mouth open. I have no problem with it because it was how all my family and most of my friends do it. I have a feeling it is a cultural thing because my family is chinese and most of my friends are asian.
seewolfmdk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a cultural thing, too. And it drives me crazy...
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:50:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing with your mouth open is DISGUSTING.
It should be fucking fined.
SamHeresy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dressing like an idiot.
Chaldera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking inside.
Provided it's not illegal (i.e. not inside a public building or smoking an illegal substance) and you're not going to start sticking lit cigarettes into my eyeball, I don't care where you smoke.
DrFrankensteinx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Genocide.
The_Panty_Raid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy, having feelings.
silveringrid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose. Sometimes you just cannot blow those lil boogers out, no matter how hard you try.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People being brutally honest. Sometimes I'll be an asshole or wear something stupid and if someone doesn't say "Dude, you're being ass." Or "Dude, that shirt looks retarded." Then I will continue to do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't eat red meat, smoke or drink alcohol. It's my own personal choice and I don't flaunt it or treat it likes it's anything special. Yet, somehow people get offended when they offer a drink and say "no, thank you." And if they learn that you don't eat bacon, steak, etc. it's like you're the worst person on Earth. I've actually been told its "unpatriotic" to not eat red meat.
allkindsofgainzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That's unpatriotic" is my least favorite response anyone can give to anything. I don't give a shit if my choice is unpatriotic to you. Just keep doing you.
layuptobreastspike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving/getting the truth rather then the answer people want to hear to very certain questions they ask.
Examples include: does this shirt look good? Wanna go out this weekend? Why/why not? Why doesn't he/she like me?
If you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question.
coffeeblossom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But still, there are ways to "tell it like it is" without being a jerk about it.
Malfeasant ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:34:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but that's a skill most people don't have, and as the teller, I'd rather not keep up bullshit appearances, and as the listener, I'd rather not have to guess.
touchthisface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm not admitting anything!
supergreekman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It should be legal. Or at least decriminalized.
warmestblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking.
I've never had a smoke, but I'm not offended if my company does. I'm not sure if it's socially unacceptable, but I do know some that cringe at the sight- I suppose, in my life, I don't share any tragedies with smoking.
Jed118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spitting - I do it on occasion (obviously outdoors) when no one is near or discretely.
I lived in Korea for some time so my habit worsened.If someone else does it, I barely notice.
Jmuffinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dis dick
ben_r_m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes if someone sneezes, I'll raise my hands up and yell, "MAY THE CHRISTIAN DEITY BLESS YOU!!!"
teddychan2dot0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking those guitar players how much they earned.
You know those ones in populated places.
byniumhart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Was in the Navy. Can concur.(the elbows thing.)
seewolfmdk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You could have answered to the post, not the thread, sailor.
VictiniStar101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A man watching TV shows that are not normally for men
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double-dipping.
boomstickjonny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cocaine.
ponyboyQQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking casual in somewhat formal circumstances. I'm much more likely to open up to someone say "Hey, welcome to "Blah", you lookin' for somethin' in particular today?"
rather than
"Good afternoon, welcome to "Blah". What can I help you with today?"
I don't want to talk to a robot.
nichtaufdeutsch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose and eating it.
At least with children.
I saw my daughter do this a few times and really scolded her for it. After I saw her doing it again, I researched it (thank god for the internet.) It's just a sign of anxiety in kids. Now, I try to coach her, knowing that she will be flamed by kids at school if they see her do it. She's getting better. I just think about the underlying cause instead of the repulsive act.
Malfeasant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My brother-in-law still does it. He's almost 30.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Draping myself with Velvet from head to toe.
johnnylogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
divulging how much money i make. i never understood why people were so weird with that.
yellowstickypad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pissing in the shower
AyukawaZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it IS all pipes!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/u/cahbot What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?
EccentricOwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being pantsless.
urection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT reddit.txt
"being alone"
"being silent"
"drinking in the daytime"
Zelfin11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Howling for any reason
RedPantsSmuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women flashing.
amber0517 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:32 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
talking about salary
jmelchio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with people farting or burping even if it's the first time I've met them.
cd-nyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farts are funny
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dating a man....(Even though the whole gay marriage thing happened...sadly my town isn't so happy and is all catholic)
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Perry, Ohio, small town, this is in the north surprisingly, So I don't know why it's so bad.
Malfeasant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beastiality. Sure it's gross, but it beats raping humans.
amber0517 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
double dipping!
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Euthanasia, within certain limits.
If you have AIDS and will die in 15 years or 20 years, I'm conflicted.
But if you will die within a year, go ahead. What would a deathly ill person who can barely walk do within a year, anyhow?
He won't be curing cancer.
Aarmed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being watched
amber0517 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not washing your """LINENS""" weekly............ or like...........much ever.
peacemakerzzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing my cap while eating. I don't get why some cultures find it disrespectful.
SometimesShitFlies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sitting with my leg(s) propped on the chair. I know I look super low class and tasteless, but I feel comfortable like this.
MrMilitaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
After reading all of these comments, I now realize the whole "Redditor socially awkward stereotypes". Almost all of the comments are completely fine but "People can do it in front of me. It's kinda like watching the discovery channel". WTF am I reading? It's not that it's weird for You, it's fucking weird for the guy and gal trying to have a good time when some awkward dude just walks in, popcorn in hands.
Subtle__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating off the floor. It's really a waste of food not to, especially if the floor is clean.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping.
Biabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about anything gross while I eat. It doesn't affect me at all.
Morpheusthequiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as long as they're not in-depth describing smells or tastes while I eat, it has no effect on me.
you can talk about poop all you want while I'm eating, as long as you don't make a descriptive essay of exactly how that shit smelled.
Biabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:04 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That wouldn't bother me either. To actually smell it is different.
Antoak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having sex with a friends family member.
The fact that people care about their siblings' sex life has always struck me as controlling and incestuous.
Unfortunately my friend thought otherwise. We don't talk anymore.
Perry_cox29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a barbecue with a few friends... In Germany... In the 1940's...
evenflow86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being open and honest about everything. Perhaps because I am struggling with depression and anxiety and therefore give less shits than I usually do and so am open about it, but I think if people were more open and honest with each other about their problems, the world would be a less lonelier, more happier place.
Perry_cox29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bugging the headquarters of your main opposition even though you're going to win in a landslide
Perry_cox29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Losing a frivolous lawsuit before taking over a popular website and making unpopular decisions culminating in the termination of a beloved admin.
Spacecommander5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Victoria?
TheRemonst3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping.
HMW3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spitting, it's okay, if it saves you the trouble of accidentally drooling on yourself. Or if something gross got into your gob, what's the issue. It's fine.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men showing emotion. Straight men, especially.
They are allowed to have feelings. It doesn't make you "a girl" to cry.
HeroinePete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing all the fucking time, especially around your shit kids. Smoking in public. Taking acid before going into work at subway. Telling the man to eat 12 dicks. Farting. Letting my kids run wild in Wal-Mart. Driving my 85 cutlass with no mufflers. Displaying the Confederate battle flag. Introverts. Punching biggots (violence is never the answer). Smoking weed while driving. People that Crack wise during a movie at theaters. My neighbor, Steve, he never wears shorts that his old balls don't hang out the legs.
redsthename ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
double-dipping. doesn't bother me in the slightest
goats-in-trees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dating my brother in law.
Rev01Yeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Animal sex? Well as long as it isn't obviously painful or discomfortful for either of the participants. Speciesism.
loveandmonsters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping in public. I don't mean like a t-rex accidentally stepping on a stegosaurus while auditioning to be the vocalist in a death metal band, I mean like if one slips out more audibly than it should because the burger & beer are so damn good. If a girl can burp comfortably in front of me, I like them a lot more. ........... and also I'm friendzoned.
TheCapedMoosesader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Babies crying on airplanes.
They're babies... their ears hurt... they don't know why... they can't do anything about it... what the fuck do you expect them to so?
Somzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is that really socially unacceptable for babies to cry on airplanes?
That's news to me.
TheCapedMoosesader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think that it is, some people act like the parents are in the wrong for taking a baby on the plane, or for not being able to "control" their child.
It's a baby folks... they cry.
Somzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Airplanes transport people, if they need to go somewhere, they need to go somewhere. Can't help it.
That's different than taking a baby to a cinema, a theater, a concert and such.
Personally I do not agree with the latter, as it benefits nobody.
MitchellMuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Personal space, I have no problem standing face to face with someone with no breathing room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really mind bragging. If someone is a huge bragger and goes over the top, I just laugh at them. On the flip side, I think people should be recognized for their accomplishments more, except now we live in an age where that is considered "threatening" for people who aren't as accomplished. I think that's a bigger problem.
Hazzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is peoples definition of socially unacceptable?
http://i.imgur.com/Fyd9JUl.jpg
Spacecommander5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting?
Budrox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
swearing doesnt really bother me
cwwmbm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All popular first level comments: "Something that is totally socially acceptable, but I like living on the edge, so I'll name it anyways and people will upvote because everyone does it (which really makes it kind of off topic but I like upvotes)"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In dating, just openly saying whether or not you want go on another date. Instead, it's 'I think I might be busy', which I'm not sure means you are actually busy or you're trying to say no!
MisanthropeX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was raised by an early adopter of the internet, who told me to be very judicious with what I put on the internet and instilled in me that it would never be taken down. So to me, honestly, I don't get why doxxing is a huge boogeyman that hovers over Reddit and many other online communities: all information you put on the internet you did so voluntarily, and it shouldn't be unethical to share that information. You can find out a lot about me if you wanted to, and that was information I'm comfortable with other people knowing. If I wasn't, it wouldn't be on the internet. A cursory google search and cross-referencing of your username isn't stalking, it's fifteen seconds' worth of work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having sex on camera for money.
derp2004 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose. Sometimes boogers are cemented in there. Gotta pick em! THEN EAT THEM! Yummmmm! Lol. But I really pick my nose
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was going to the movies alone and going for long walks alone with my headphones on...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shooting heroin.
Potens_Vox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all kinks, being a total slut, sex work.
jaimepasmonpseudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Climage change.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Red wine with (some) fish.
guitarman81597 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The 'Wait to Date' bro code rule. I don't care if my friends date my recent ex. It's over, move on.
civilizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping
blunaxela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flossing
xRayCx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going on vacation and actually doing something. If i wanna sit on the beach and play with my phone the whole time, that's what i'm gonna do!
vulcan1358 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public. I understand having common courtesy to not have a sulfurous and eggy "my coffee hasn't quite kicked in" fart in an elevator. But walking to my car in a parking lot or while outside at work, us it really that bad (not like one i described earlier, those are foul)
tnbadboy1965 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having more than one wife or husband. I think if you want to do it and can afford too then why not let people do it.
Drama_Derp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking During a Movie*
But only during Thursday night midnight showings. Odds are they are a superfan of a blockbuster franchise and can't contain themselves.
barcode1555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you actually have pee, menstrual blood or poo on your hands, I don't care if you haven't washed your hands. It's way ickier that men don't wipe their penis after peeing.
PhilTheDill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in appropriate places in public... If ya gotta go ya gotta go man.
raturinesoupgang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have no problem with people who rob banks, as long as no one gets hurt.
PurpleFritoPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or heists like this one. Love seeing these. Dude earned a hell of a days pay. Hope he doesn't get caught.
raturinesoupgang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ordinarily if it's not backed by FDIC I'm somewhat opposed. But in this case it's Walmart, so good for him.
mangogirl27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hair in my food. I mean if I see one I pick it out and don't eat it, but for me it's not some intensely repulsive dramatic thing that everyone makes it out to be. It's dead skin cells. Newsflash: the kitchen in restaurants is touching your food with clean hands all the time, there's dead skin cells on all of it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree. I feel were lucky because sometimes you find a hair in some really delicious food and that would suck if it bothered you that much.
Zyr47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding, not saying "You're Welcome", the others have already been said but not sending thank you cards and incest (given they're both adults)
IamJasonBjorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the pool. It just feels so good
adidast05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scratching my balls in public.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Some people like talking. Some people don't like talking.
AfterBirthSmell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with peeing in public and having sex in public!
Pawn01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People chewing with their mouth open. I just don't give a shit. If you're sitting in absolute silence during a meal why eat with someone. I don't even notice when people do it. People are talking, eating, having a good time I just don't see the hatred. If they were burping loudly and blowing it in my face sure...but how fucking miserable of a meal do you have when you're concentrating on how another person eats their food.
microdon23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:43:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing I'm just more sensitive, but I can't stand someone that chews with their mouth open, including gum, slurps their drink, etc. For me it's disgusting. And eating on the subway is nasty, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in an elevator. It's a great way to practice keeping a straight face.
Gazamidori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doctors having to have you drop your pants or bra and look/feel your nuts, penis, anus, breast, or vagina. People always get squeamish and uncomfortable and odd why. Do you want to get cancer or something worse and die? This is socially unacceptable but peps make such a huge fuss about this especially males.
sortofrelativelynew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Movies not starting at X time. So if it says 725, it doesn't actually start til 745. I'm always late, so its helpful.
smittenkitten04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dumpster diving
Snuzzlebumble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People spitting on the ground. I really don't care nor find it gross. It will eventually just evaporate.
ThePacMan2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ellen Pao and Donald Trump
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual encounters with two perfectly able and consenting adults. Hold for cheating and adultery. Basically, I could give two shits if a man wants to marry a man, or two men, or a man and two women. I also don't care if two people of the same blood line have sexual experiences. It's not something I agree with, but it's also none of my fucking business. So I don't care if someone is gay, bi, into incest, polygamy, etc. As long as no one is getting hurt and everyone can give proper consent, I don't give a fuck.
Edit: grammar
ihateusernames12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting; and saying the word cunt. Seriously people in Canada freak out at this word. I'm not saying you casually walk around saying it but if your mad and someone says "shes a fucking slut" and someone else says "what a cunt" whooooo caresssss.
PurpleFritoPie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love the look of shock on some people's faces when I drop a well placed "cunt". It does have to be used sparingly though, or it will lose its' impact.
ihateusernames12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:28 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agree.. Love it!
Faisso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smelling my arm pits or putting a finger or two in my... Arm pit to see if it smells or not.
FuckYourPoachedEggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's just practical, provided you do it discreetly.
gtb82l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scavenging thru people's trash
superhanson2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism. I think human's maybe intelligent, but that does not give us the moral right to make a less intelligent being less valuable. No one has a right to say that a being is so valuable that his life-less carcass is off limits. If it is okay to consume a carcass of a cow or a chicken, it should be okay to consume a carcass of a human. Just because one consumes human meat doesn't mean he values human life less. Because eating meat isn't about life, it's about consuming a carcass that will inevitably rot. As long as one does not kill with a sole purpose of having human meat, I do not care if you like to make human flesh into a burger. I would not care if someone ate my corpse, because I'll be dead and my body will end up a pile of bones in the end anyway.
All animals are beautiful in different ways, and if it is okay to consume the corpse of one, I think it's moral to eat all. However, humans should not be subject to farming. No one should.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that it tastes like veal.
superhanson2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey if it tastes good, I'm willing to try it. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you didn't kill someone just to try him.
Ratez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving the toilet seat up. Atleast I know it is less likely for the last guy to pee all over the seat.
jedi-son ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Top two answers are about being alone. Shocking reddit... shocking
hiddensmegma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If its yellow let it mellow
Coheed84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't find the word Spic offensive. Yes I'm mostly puerto rican. My grandmother might but, I feel racial names are only as offensive as you let them be. Plus, I say racial jokes when my SO isn't around. She gets mad.
Onlyhereforthelaughs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Moving someone's shopping cart out of the way. Seriously, stop hogging the aisle.
Also, not a great idea to leave your phone and purse in the cart and not have it in your range of vision. Could have easily stolen it from you.
stromm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone presenting the Confederate flag, using the N-Word (regardless of their color), calling me cracker, honky or whitey, calling me four-eyes,
Pretty much the following sums it up for me. "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me".
Astronotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent- Hatred for public playgrounds. Dear lord do I hate those places. I take my kids occasionally because I feel socially obligated and I know my little buddies enjoy it, but I can say with total certainty that there has never been a playground visit where there wasn't awkward situations and snide parental judgement abound.
ClarkTheShark94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People with ecigs blowing a big cloud in my general direction. Or walking through a big cloud.
Nerfpaladins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
most of them
thelandofdreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dudes telling other dudes they love them.
I love my guy friends, and it is bullshit that I can't tell them that except when we are all piss drunk
getomit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not buying reciprocal gifts. Bitch, don't buy me things expecting me to give you a gift in return. I won't give you anything and you don't have to give me anything.
kissdemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
to admit that Chuck Norris will actually die one day and never count to infinity......twice.
PrincessMarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fat people wearing whatever the hell they want.
regalrecaller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing from big box stores. We are all getting fucked by their prices, whether directly or indirectly, so jail is the only sanction against stealing from big box stores I take seriously.
raefsenpupta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hypocracy. In most cases I've seen, hypocrites are only trying to help those they advise.
Ex.: A smoker tells someone "Don't smoke, it's an awful habit."
NonsensicalParadise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What? Thats not being a hypocrit, thats good advise. stoping bad habits is not easy and if someone who has been there, or is there, advises you against it we should probably listen.
Legitstarake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Natural selection. Why do we keep trying to save stupid people?
Rern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using your phone while out with friends.
If you're still listening and responding, I don't mind if your eyes are elsewhere.
tapport ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's the thing, your brain can only do so much. Giving responses is meaningless since you do it automatically anyway and listening stops as soon as you start to type a text.
The human brain really only focuses on one thing at a time. Even if you're doing two things simultaneously it's because you're doing one of them automatically such as walking and chewing gum.
And don't challenge me on this, it's completely proven science.
goatsaredumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not waiting my turn at a four way stop. Fuck slowpokes who try and wave everyone through, I cali roll through that shit...
pm_me_craftworlds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with everything. I really don't give a fuck about much
CapnSheff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing in public. Cuz fuck that and fuck you, too.
ThickDiggerNick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do alot of socially unacceptable things, as do other people.
I do not give a fuck, in 5 minutes you will not remember me and I you.
So do what you want, no one gives a shit.
jssaylor2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shoes in the house. Unless they have shit on them, then take those fuckers off you nasty bastard.
CaffeineExperiment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian?
I wear my shitless shoes in the house all the time.
jssaylor2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texan
SwisschaletDipSauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm alone most the time for everything, kind of moved around a lot for college/ to find work. Found friendships and lost them during moves.
I'm at the age now where building up a socially life is exceeding difficult. So I do most things alone;
Movies,
Eating out,
concerts... etc,
I'm so used to this now that I prefer it. I'll die a crazy cat person, my destiny has been foretold and I feel pretty good about it.
jweaver358 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speeding
faxinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public sex.
burgundy_snake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory
burgundy_snake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also polygamy, if it is consensual and a well-informed decision being made by all parties
Some_Awesome_dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cousin Sex
viddyhyun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
stealing
comedianfromhell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing I find socially unacceptable is people thinking things are socially unacceptable...
GuardianOfTriangles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a sexy girl licked my donut and called me fat before I ate it. Probably be ok with it.
DatWaterBottle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a dump with the door open It's so liberating being able to have your dog come say hello when you're decorating their watering hole
vidvicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dressing as a person of a different race for Halloween.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Danimals847 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roughly 1982.
ItsBlahBlah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting.
listo65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating right when you get your food at a restaurant when no one else has gotten theirs yet. Just eat that shit is going to get cold.
badmother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I let my teenage kids swear in front of me, and I swear back, so they learn when where and how to use it properly!
Totally open about any taboo subjects with them too. I'd rather they learned from me than be ignorant about things.
As a result, I have a totally honest relationship with them. Completely different from my upbringing, and I think so much better
Jermazing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Murder
RenlyIsTheFury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If we're talking big things, I'd say prostitution, polygamy, and drug usage (not to say I engage in any of those, but I find them okay, if you choose to do them).
If we're talking small things, the elbows-on-table guy hit it on the head.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not taking care of your lawn. It's a useless patch of land, I'm not going to waste money, time, and a lot of water on it. There are people in California during the drought who are still watering their lawns. Really? I know humans aren't completely logical (and that's a good thing) but this shit is just ridiculous.
JosephFinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not speeding in the left lane. Just sitting there, doing the speed limit. I've no problem with people doing that.
Y2Punkster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guys who wear nail polish. I myself wear it and most people think I'm weird or gay. Goes to show how judgmental most people are.
bosox82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious.. What colors do u wear?
Y2Punkster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never worn anything besides black. Every once in a while I'll get black with a blue tint that you can only see in light. But I don't understand some people. They act like I'm wearing a pink dress with heels talking in a high pitch voice.
bosox82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People are just afraid of stuff they can't understand.. Do u man! Fuck it!! Another question if u don't mind, what made u start painting your nails?
Y2Punkster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted to look like a heavy metal rockstar lol. Feel free to ask anymore questions :3
Fixedcyclist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being naked. Not that I'm a exhibitionist, but I enjoy nakedness
nuclear_gandhi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Inviting yourself over.
PCToTheMax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose
predictingzepast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Your probably not going to believe me, but I ain't go no problem with bad grammar..
eazydozer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything the government says you can't do with marriage between consenting adults.
cryospam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing clothes in public. Look, I'm totally secure enough with my sexuality that seeing other naked dudes wouldn't bug me at all, especially if I got to see naked women. Not all of them will be hot, but ENOUGH of them would be that it would often improve scenery.
That said...I worked at a private college campus for a while...so perhaps my opinion is skewed...
Admiral_of_Crunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest, I guess. Like, between two (or more, if need be...) consenting, reasonably intelligent, safe Adults who are aware of any associated risks with the act.
Now I know there's a whole lot of grey area with this. Bumming your parents (or letting your parents bum you) is really not usually ok.
And on top of that, family dynamics being destroyed by sexual relationships is absolutely something that should be avoided. Touching butts with your brother would certainly put some stress on the nice happy family.
Now, I don't want to send everyone around boning their immediate family members, but I'm just saying that in an ideal situation where everyone involved was mature enough to handle it and the proper safe sex etiquette was applied, nobody should have any issues. You can't help who you fall in love with and/or just want to have sexytimes with recreationally.
Age issues are another matter entirely, and not at all what I intend to advocate. Also, I don't want to screw any of my family members. I wouldn't even think about it. That doesn't mean someone else doesn't.
Live and let live, I say.
Soileau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking with others about your salary and money in general.
Seriously_nopenope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gay marriage
-Arrow- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having multiple romantic partners.
If it's all consensual, why should anyone care? It's actually a good exercise in getting beyond jealousy and kudos to anyone who manages to make it work.
varukasalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swinging, polygamy and polyamory.
LadyFaye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BDSM/Nudist/Swingers/bisexuality etc. If it is consentual and everyone is appropriate age, I don't judge. My own husband likes to wear ladies thongs. It makes him happy.
macrol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving the barhroom door open when I piss/shit/shower in my own house. Fuck you I like the view Also being naked around my roommates I'm also a guy
fritobugger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy, beastiality, nose picking
Chaotic134 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NOSE PICKING?! You sick bastard, why would you tolerate that!?
MrDoctorCPU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Staying up late, as long as a) you aren't loud and you avoid disturbing neighbors and such and b) you get recommended hours of sleep
JollyTamale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When someone just pulls out their phone and stops listening to what you're saying. I've learned to accept that.
ih8umum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's all you can do. By the time the phone is out of their pocket, it's game over.
lostsemicolon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Handkerchiefs. They've gotten this stigma that their dirty and disgusting, but it's like, some days I've got a runny nose and don't want to go through 2 boxes of tissues.
DirkDiggler7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Formula for babies.... Some women just can't breastfeed due to health reasons and are looked down upon by these demonic hate spewing tit feeders (fyi, my kids were all breast fed) but I see the other side and some of these women who are advocates are relentless for their cause.
"I don't wan't your life" - James Van Der Beek
QueenAlpaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Marriage. But not because I don't want to get married, I'm with a very sweet boyfriend of five years, I love the shit outta him, but because I think it's an overrated title. I had at least half a dozen friends/family members get engaged just this past spring, and we're happy where we're at. I hate it when people rush, I had to grow up through two divorces, so I'm not in a hurry. My mother (the twice-divorced parent) nags me with almost every Skype call about why we haven't gotten engaged yet, or why he hasn't bought me a ring, or why he hasn't done this or that, and it's super selfish and disgusting to hear shit like that. Sadly, I've heard the same droll from other morons. When did getting married be the end-all to your relationship goals? If we have a kid out of wedlock, idgaf because we'd be a happy family without having to get a title for it. We also live in a "domestic partnership" state, so it means even less to me. Not trying to knock on the LGBT movement, my sister's gay so I more than understand, but generally speaking I don't get the hype.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbating in public bathrooms. It relieves stress and aggression while increasing happiness. The only harm it does is make a few people feel uncomfortable
Teamawesome2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweating. It's an important bodily function. If it is hot out and I'm moving around, I am going to sweat. Sorry.
Djaesthetic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not waiting until everyone has their food to start eating.
vargonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using cell phones at parties / dinner / etc. Who cares? Enjoy yourself.
ih8umum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind them using their phone. That's the reason you have it, right?
What pisses me off is when I ask someone to dinner or whatever and we get to the place we're going, sit down, order, and then this person whips out their phone and doesn't put it away till we leave, only stopping to take a bite or two of their meal or look at me and say "yeah".
vargonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it happened on a date (or even just a one-on-one dinner with a friend), yeah, that would piss me off.
Dr_Djibouti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL people on reddit like to be alone.
ErkMcGurk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're new here, huh?
manrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
recreational drug use, polygamy/polyamory, destructive protest... like most things they can be done poorly, and i don't support all instances of them, but i don't see them as inherently bad, and done right they can be very beneficial.
ih8umum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mean to ruin your point, but I can't think of a scenario in which destructive protest would be beneficial.
manrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
this comes to mind https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Revolution
daved2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Restaurants who want to permit smoking cigarettes indoors. It's their business, let them decide how to run it. If it bothers you, don't go there.
KallistiTMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Responsible adult drug use. As long as you're safe, and don't do anything fucked up (like try to drive) then it's your fucking brain.
SenorPuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As always, it's best to sort by controversial in threads like this.
dougi3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating before everyone else gets their food at a resteraunt.
I always encourage my friends to eat before I get my food, because I don't want to be the reason why they can't eat yet.
paarth1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in public. I mean it's really not worth getting a ticket over.
DoctorOsmium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friends or aquaintances having sex/dating my exes. I don't see why so many people care about who their ex fucks or dates.
BearChomp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vaping in public indoor places. I don't do it myself, and I absolutely understand why other people don't like it, but I honestly don't even notice it most of the time until someone else complains about it
dumbscrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
a lot of it has to do with how sensitive you are to nicotine. I personally get basically the same nicotine headaches I would get from secondhand smoke if I'm in a closed room with someone vaping.
iFIrsdl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely anything but picking your arse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
apparently stuff I didn't even know about
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in public. The world is my urinal.
Tirty8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being blunt. We have gotten to the point where sugarcoating has caused confusion and a lack of clarity. I would rather someone be direct with me, so the message is not lost.
IndianPoopDance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't read the rest of these replies yet, but the older I get, the more I feel like being nude. As a female, half the time I want to leave the house braless. I mean, I never wear bras or shirts at home, so why should I have to outside? If I'm driving home, all I can think of is how I want to take my bra/shirt off to be comfy. I've lived in Europe, and now I envy the socially accepted nudity I saw. It was weird at the time but...they got it right.
ZiggyBOP155 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drug use. IF you wanna kill yourself go wild.
black_brotha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sociably sociable.
ReusAlThor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having more than four drinks/day -- it just happens!
towleboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tirty8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking someone how much money they make. I don't understand why this is such a taboo.
highlyannoyed1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most people posting in this shit thread don't understand the question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Heroin. I wish people were smarter about it and stopped killing themselves.
ellykats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with girls going topless at beaches etc, not for sexual reasons, but merely because men do it without anybody batting an eyelid. When technically they have breast tissue themselves just as women do. Although ours is obviously much more developed, and of course designed for nurturing young children. Anyways, keep your pants on please! No need for sand up there. Nuh-uh! Just the thought of it gives me chills... Eugh
MishoPisho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking others about their salary. In America it is quite taboo, but if someone was to ask me I would tell them without a second thought.
jboogie18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing
Steffinily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rushing relationships. Some people do it. Some people get married fast (including myself). If you're happy about what you're doing and you believe in it, it shouldn't matter to anyone else.
doreato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing.
arandomusertoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Literally anything considered socially unacceptable, as long as its consensual.
I think my give a fuck dispenser was broken at birth...
andrewsm1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything
Daniel_The_Thinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism and incest.
Assuming no negative practical effects.
I'd do the first but definitely not the second.
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism, in some circumstances, maybe. If I'd in a car crash in the middle of the blizzard and a fellow passenger dies and I need to survive, then I will eat them.
I would hesitate if it was a child, though, someone younger than me, or a good friend. Like, I don't think I could physically EAT IT if it belonged to a child. I think I'd rather die than eat any part of a child, because their family would have a partial corpse. I don't think I could live with myself if I survived knowing some mother out there wept over part of her child, because I'd eatten some flesh off the body.
So, while I might not have the heart for it, I can't blame someone for cannibalism if; 1.) The person is in a survival situation 2.) the person they are eating has died from natural causes (exposure, starvation)
Daniel_The_Thinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have no moral problem eating human meat in a survival/consensual situation (whether I have the discipline to do it is another thing). If human meat tasted good, I'd have no issue eating it cloned.
Trust_Me_Im_Right ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to ask people how much they'll be making when they tell me they got a job. I'm just curious
bitesthenbarks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going to a movie by myself. Screw trying to get a group of friends together. I want to see the movie NOW, on my own terms. We're gonna sit in the dark by ourselves anyway, so why do I need company to be socially correct?
lukesdp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just duble dip. I don't care.
Gunnilingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shitting with the door open.
TF2Numbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being in a relationship with someone for a while and not getting married/not having kids.
There's always that one person who has to bring it up...
virgingranny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cracking your back/knuckles, etc. I find it really satisfying to hear other people's joints cracking so I have no problem when someone cracks their back in the middle of class
KallistiTMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide.
Don't get me wrong, it sucks when people kill themselves, but if someone really, truly wants to die then it's inhumane to physically force them to stay alive against their will. I've talked down a LOT of people, and I think that 90% of the time it's just an impulsive desire that goes away with a little new perspective and some lifestyle changes. But some people have lives that really, really do suck. The sad, fucked up truth is that "you have so much to live for" and "It'll get better" are just meaningless niceties. Sometimes people don't have anything left to live for. Sometimes it really won't get better. That's one reason why I think Dr. Kevorkian deserves sainthood; he understood that dying is natural and that at some point people are ready for that, and that people have a right to choose how they die just like they have a right to choose how they live.
If anyone reading this IS feeling suicidal, please, talk to someone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1 (800) 273-8255. They're open 24 hours a day. You can also PM me, I'm not always on but if I am I promise to respond as soon as I can.
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that people with suicide are just so wrapped up in all the struggles there facing they can't really see a way out. I don't understand why people are angry when someone commits suicide, or say the person is 'selfish' for taking their own life.
As far as I'm concerned, if someone is in a dark enough place they decided to end there own life, then they clearly had serious issues (depression, anxiety, ect.) driving them, and the living have NO RIGHT to pass judgement on that person, since you clearly have NEVER felt like they did.
That being said- suicide fucking sucks and is NOT the answer. It can get better with thearpy and meds, and I've personally come back from some rough shit. My Dad's taught me from a young age how to cope with my issues, and honestly, a lot of suicides could be prevented if people were more educated on mental health.
MENTAL ILLNESS DOESN'T MAKE A PERSON DANGEROUS. Lack of understanding and lack of treatment makes people with mental illness dangerous. America really needs to wake the fuck up and realize that mental illness is real and NEEDS to be talked about.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Women having leg hair.
Sure, I can understand needing to trim it so it doesn't look messy or overgrown. But having a social norm where if you are a woman and don't shave your legs completely bare, you are equivalent to chewbacca, is crazy to me. If you look up the history on when leg shaving started, it's even crazier. I personally just trim my legs and wear jeans all the time, but if some of my leg shows when I sit down, I'll shave clean only the part of my leg that shows. It's truly a shame... hair is very natural, and quite fine when trimmed.
Edit- ITT: Startle farts and snot rockets. This thread is amazing.
xuxulala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pooping in a public restroom. Don't hold it in til you get home. That's not good for you.
doctorbooshka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Owning a van and handing out free candy. I mean come on, I just like to see the smile on their faces when I give them a Jolly Rancher. Can't I just be a nice guy with a nice mustache in a rocking van for once without the cops being called.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You're welcome" as a response to the phrase "thank you" means much the same as the phrase "you're welcome, into my home". Rather it would mean "You're welcome to whatever favor I granted to earn your thanks." You're certainly welcome to not say it if it doesn't please you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's offensive. In fact, I'd say they're the ones stepping out of the bounds of courtesy by insisting that they are welcome to your favors.
33mmpaperclip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not that I'm necessarily okay with it, but I don't understand why people freak out when there is a head hair in their food at a restaurant. It is so ridiculously easy for this to happen. Unless it's a short and curly just pick it out!
peri0d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is two types of people in the world. Those who pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars.
glovesforfoxes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory
peacebuster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cursing.
iminthemitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a dick!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Murder
davedude82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping in public. My mom gets mad at me every time I do it, and I'm in my 30's.
MattOrchard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking loud.
Some people are loud, get over it.
rhymes_with_chicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now, if I told you that there would be a shit ton of people at my door with pitchforks.
Nope. I know what I'm OK with. And, I know what is publicly acceptable. And, ne'er the two shall meet.
HyruliEnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Naked anime girls
torreneastoria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping and farting are totally acceptable to me. In public I avoid doing them because of the social stigma. Swearing is also fine in my opinion. I have no problem with my child learning swear words because it is a part of modern culture. I am teaching her that there are places that these words can get her into trouble so she needs to be careful when and where she uses them. Also never towards a person.
LadyKlaymoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who immediately thought "anal?"
wckz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping, not caring about strangers, farts, actually eating with your mouth open (Seems like reddit flips out on this one).
turglow1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racist jokes. Dont even lie, youve laughed your ass off at some of these
Inaimad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting where-the fuck-ever
GingerJacob36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anal.
sexymotherfakir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but no great empire has ever been built without slaves.
DlProgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Too much to count.
thisisnotputin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Invading other countries
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public fellatio
jutct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
drugs, sexual fetishes (who cares what you're into, doesn't affect me). victimless crimes.
jse803 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure how to word it. When people stare at you while you open a gift instead of opening their own at Xmas. Seriously fuck off.
Zephyrantes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
It doesnt mean aggressively doing so, but if you need to relief yourself of that booger, who am i to tell you not to
Joeskyyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about sex, sexuality, and fetishes in public.
We all do it (see picking nose), so why are we so ashamed to talk about it around others? I have great conversations with my bartenders and friends in public about these things :D
RaoulDuke209 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbating in public. As long as you're not showing yourself to others or being a creep using them as material. I don't give a fuck. Jerk it on the road all the time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...All of them
nickmichaelson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating my own snot
Xeniox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How about going pee on the side of the highway? I've done some long distance driving and sometimes a stop is just to far away to wait. Don't care, just don't register male as a sex offender for hiding behind a bush where no one can see.
LUClEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding in public. Wearing hats at the dinner table. Potty language.
MyLoveHammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shaming people
AmNotALannister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably be buried, but I honestly don't know what is wrong with sibling incest other than having high chances of birth defects. It would never be for me, but I wouldn't care too much if I knew someone who was in that relationship. I would like to hear others opinions on it though
erock_1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure you aren't a Lannister? You sounds like one.
AccountCre8ed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling people when you do something charitable or nice. Why keep it anonymous? Inspire others to act with good will toward others.
buckiemohawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution, drugs, men wearing dresses if they want
notjaker44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about politics, religion, or other sensitive topics before I really know someone. I would rather know how fucked your world view is before we begin a friendship. I'll argue with you civilly, but if you're going to be a dick about things then I don't see the point in wanting to have a friendship with you. I've learned a lot from other people about politics and such where I was ignorant before. I'm always willing to change my opinion if you can show me a good reason to, but a lot of people don't have good reasons for these types of matters, and thus they end up getting mad at me for my opinions. Some of my opinions are outlandish, but it seems to me that this whole world is a bit outlandish.
Tre2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. Like, if it's really bad and loud it's rude, but if you just fart, whatever, it's normal.
iskra13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing outside
Alexisbestpony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a religion, or not having a religion, or making fun of a religion. That is your choice why should I give a flying fuck?
juggy_11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking in public.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing Ice
TryingHard23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking Weed. Fuck it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing sunglasses while swimming. I get puzzled glances at the beach or pool sometimes.
_phospholipid_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Any clothing violations. Want to wear opposite gender clothing? A potato sack? Nothing? If you're comfortable, I'm comfortable.
DeDodgingEse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking.
Dizthelasthope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having my own opinions on things and not trying to change others to reflect mine or shoving it down other people's throats. As it seems like it's socially unacceptable.
tinycole2971 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy and arranged marriages. All forms of consenting, adult marriage should be acceptable, not just "traditional", interracial, and same-sex.
kannebosm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Repurposing felching straws. What?
garlotch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Today me and my family (plus my brother's friend) arrived at a 'batch/house' we booked for a week. The moment I got inside, I dropped my trousers and proceeded to rubs my balls all over the couches and furniture. My brother's friend was pretty disturbed by this, but I didn't give a fuck. The couches are MINE you hear me? MINE!
Only way to claim my territory, is to rub my testicles on it.
Edit: That was a true story, believe it or not, and no I am not insane.
zdruck07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"That was a true story" Somehow I doubt that.
"I am not insane" If the first part is somehow true, then this definitely isn't.
Galactus54 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True or not, it's funny as hell.
zdruck07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's the truth.
luckyclam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Offending people. I believe we all have to right to insult everyone.
stygge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I the name of cultural and intellectual diversity, I tell every SJW to go fuck them self. Idiocracy at work.
Tireseas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Brutal, unfiltered, fuck the politically correct zombies honesty.
Misinformed_ideas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing with your mouth open. I honestly don't give a fuck unless we're talking face to face, or you're spilling food. I had an ex and this was her #1 pet peeve. . she would really get riled up about it. . Never got why. Live and let chew.
xCH4RLIExSQU4Dx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend and I will spit water onto each other and laugh like hyenas.
JellyBean321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Criticizing the president. Being white, Christian, supporting police, or being a republican for that matter. LOL
ZKXX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide
zakwolfz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a radical. I'm actually okay with mass genocide. Infanticide. Regicide. ... I want all drugs to be legal too. Meth, Heroin, everything.
Terohx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men defending themselves against abusive violent women.
godzillalikespie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If there's those little divider walls, I don't give a fuck if you use the urinal next to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing controversial topics, swearing, dark humour.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a straight white male according to tumblr.
KnightsOfArgonia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
okilie-dokilie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
age appropriate consentual incest
lychenus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
gay
Shaman6624 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
being a noisy eater.
HeighwayDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Infidelity.
SidusKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying things that are 'mean' but are absolutely true. Being punished (socially or otherwise) for speaking the truth is bullshit.
rebelbaserec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Strip clubs
massivelight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Asking someone their age and how much money they make
kickler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cutting toxic family members out of your life.
internetmexican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy
Fighting_Spirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Urinating outside. I don't care if a dog pisses on my lawn or if you pee on my lawn.
grape_jelly_sammich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
racist and sexist jokes. Do em in private and treat everyone proper in real life.
Sauronsothereye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind when I'm talking to someone and there isn't full eye contact, break to look at something if you want, doesn't bother me
littlecoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eye contact.
minimag47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping
FlashConcept ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hats on in school/buildings. Im not being disrespectful, I just like my hat.
Able-Bodied-Virgin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing
burikatotoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing only underwear in public
hey_annold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People dressing of the opposite gender. I mean seriously, who gives a fuck? Wear a dress if you want. Wear pants if you want. Why do so many people care about how others dress?
Finsternis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sharing a table with a stranger when there are not enough seats. In Europe this is very common, because it is smaller and there is less space for tables. But here in America someone can be sitting at a table for 6 people and no one will sit with them, as if the table belongs to them. I can see having some discretion and maybe not starting a conversation with someone who just wants to eat in peace, but I will happily sit down at a table with another person if there aren't any other seats.
tinman911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to say hey to strangers, or compliment a shirt I like or thank the whole restaurant (busser, host, server.) I'll even yell out my car window if I think you need a nice word. My buddies and girlfriend all hate it. I just want to keep people from feeling as down as I do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution and gold-digging.
(Let me preface this that I'm pretty much socialist and believe being wealthy unto itself is morally corrupt. ) What prostitutes and gold diggers do is exactly what white collar professionals do. Kiss ass, flatter, con, deceive, manipulate for some cash. And you morally and mentally whore yourself out for a career, why is it worse if it's your genitals? What's the difference between a wall street trader and an expensive whore? I mean, it takes a lot of wit to figure out how to become a jet-set $10,000/night escort vs an $80 one. They both have expensive lifestyles, taste, coke addictions, a short shelf life, and are about the hustle. Essentially we're talking about people who can be bought.
If anything, I think it's more morally deficit building bombs and drones for defense companies or to manipulate markets leading to economic crashes than to fuck with a rich man's feelings. More likely than not the wealthy person had to exploit a few people and/or benefit from some type of privilege to get where he is. And if we want to rationalize "hey, everyone needs money!" Everyone needs sex to feel wanted and eventually have offspring. Sex is female currency and it can be used to empower and enslave (just like money!)
It's laughable how much the general public sympathizes for wealthy sleaze bags when they get fucked by some gold digger. I feel like GOOD, this is the only time in his entire life where he gets fucked the same way he has inevitably fucked someone else. Wealthy people deserve gold diggers. You met a woman of your own caliber. Taste your own venom.
So yeah, so if your son wants to be a banker it should be ok if your daughter wants to be a whore.
plazman30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polygamy. I don't want to do it. But I really don't give a crap if some woman marries more than one guy or vise versa. Live and let live, I say.
CunningCartographer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Filming vertically. Sometimes it fits the subject better in the shot and isn't, as is often espoused, worse than Hitler.
Jakebar276 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls stripping in public
tinman911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to say hey to strangers, or compliment a shirt I like or thank the whole restaurant (busser, host, server.) I'll even yell out my car window if I think you need a nice word. My buddies and girlfriend all hate it. I just want to keep people from feeling as down as I do.
jwb7111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying fuck, in the right circumstance there is no better word
gosailor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fucking around on your phone at dinner. I don't care, scroll to your hearts content. It's when people feel the need to point out how "people used to TALK to each other" I start to roll my eyes. Also, and this is more important to me- I love being a complete loner, my wife is very social and hates it about me but I'm miserable when I'm stuck in social situations.
s34ttle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not getting out of their way when they are walking and not looking where they are going. Just because they are inattentive to where they are going, doesn't give them the right of way.
itsniceout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hate against certain people that piss you off.
bquietpirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I announce regularly that I hope I don't get hemorrhoids again. "Man those hemorrhoids were a real bitch." "Nah I can't lift that without help, might get hemorrhoids again."
tbonemcmotherfuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution, as long as the prostitute isn't be pimped or trafficked er whatever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sodomy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking cigarettes in public. It's not gonna be the reason I get cancer so do your thing
Manatto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in a bush, so long as its out of site of anyone
PHAT_BOOTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dudes acting feminine.
shikharv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about shit while eating. And I mean the actual shit.
dooshtoomun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sniffling. I'd rather a guy sitting across from me snuffle his mucus back up rather than blowing it all out and risk getting shit on me.
daxl70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids on a leash
MrScrotie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The word "cunt"
MaximusTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really care about PDAs. People trip out, but I dunno, it doesn't bother me.
Unless I'm hanging out with them and they go at it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoting people I disagree with, regardless of the quality of their statement.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. Going out alone, in fact, I prefer it.
xSerendipity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People doing socially unacceptable things that don't affect/bother anyone else and make themselves happy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"cross"dressing.
SageTX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping... Let 'er rip.
Scaryiest_Terry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding. Atleast someone is getting some titty when I'm not.
MisterBizarre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laughing at your own jokes. If I can't keep it together when I think of a joke then why would you hold it against me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ab-absurdum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who change lanes without using a turning signal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dracula7899 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lying. If you can't tell the difference between a lie and the truth thats all on you.
KeatingOrRoark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism. What's the big deal? Meat is meat.
rakantae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit seems to dislike the idea of using smartphones at the dinner table. But I can appreciate multitasking. Eating is a huge waste of time, might as well spend that time productively.
I usually don't do this out of respect for people who can't stand not having my full attention. But I personally wouldn't mind if you pulled out your smartphone.
OpinionKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just be out of the loop and go all sci-fi. I'm totally okay in the future with robots/human marriage. My friends aren't.
DyslexiaforCure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poly relationships. I don't want one, I'm married and don't always know how to keep my wife happy, I don't know how to cope with anyone else in that equation, but friends of my wife's family have a child who is in a 2 man and 2 women poly relationship, and whenever they come up in conversation they are just so shitty about it, like they are some monstrous heathens (and they aren't religious, it is just a personal thing for them) and I don't want to make that the hill I die on, but if everyone in it is happy I honestly couldn't care less how they live and who they fuck.
boomjamin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men fucking me in alleys.
0pp0site0fbatman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How was Calgary Stampede this year?
boomjamin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I should know what this is.
I just like getting rammed by blokes in alleyways.
0pp0site0fbatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://ca.complex.com/pop-culture/2015/07/public-threesome-calgary-music-festival
Loaki9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking openly about money and finances.
the_obvious_child_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not washing your hands after going to the restroom. Unless you shit on your hand or are preparing someone else's food, I don't see the issue.
wtfno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping.
mattimeoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Motha fuckin' god damn freedom.
bofdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public sex. Can I watch?
cromulenticular ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Corporal punishment of misbehaving children and adult criminals (with different levels of severity, of course).
BetterLaidThanNever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anal
Shoeytennis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Adult sharts
coitus110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breast feeding
VoyagerOfTheCosmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs.
kitch2495 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pissing in the pool...sorry
Galactus54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've done the math, and with the average pool volume, and the average bladder, just 1 "pee" creates ~1 ppm urea, and there's ~1-2 ppm of chlorine. The reaction of the two is bad news for your eyes! SORRY, you will be.
Shitburp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah, that's the easiest and most satisfying way to eat corn on the cob and ribs.
Wretchedwitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public breastfeeding/women's nipples/public sex/smoking
WilmaFingerdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hot chick farts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Washing your hands after pooping. What could possibly go wrong?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism... between consenting adults of course.
CheddarMelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public.
Burkvest71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: sub *apt for house. ugh.
funyuns4ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mooning
Eliza2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going sans bra
scurius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
responding to passive aggression with total bluntness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being on your phone in people's presence. A lot of people I know (myself included) suffer from social anxiety, and looking at your phone for a few minutes can be a welcome escape. Since I understand it, it doesn't bother me.
Raleth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Risque and generally offensive jokes and humor.
aliusmander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever anyone messes up at the last moment, in front of the cashier, the groceries or items they take with themselves at the supermarket. We all make mistakes.
MissWriter1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping. Let's have a contest!
NoSBWinIsASBLost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pissing in public, as long as you follow the same rules as canines.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
HydRO-7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. A totally natural body function that society tells us we must inhibit. Does society tell us the same thing about sneezing, blowing our noses, coughing? No, it does not. Why are gastric functions so vilified?
Phoenixster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laughing when someone falls down. It looks funny, and I fully expect others to laugh at me as well. Unless broken bones are sticking out. Then I laugh on the inside.
that1communist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Food being served at different times. I care more about when the food finished, so that they serve it as high quality as it can be, than it being served all at once because I guess people can't focus on the talking when others are eating.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
DESR95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Especially how much they are used now. Words lose power the more common they are in everyday use. That's why I think words like "the C word" are more shocking to people than all the other common swears, because it isn't used a lot compared to the others.
snemand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not making your bed. Not only is it pointless but it also creates a bacteria-friendly environment. Minimizing those conditions is a good thing.
Fatterpillar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men wearing dresses. It's super comfortable and I feel bad that they're missing out on it.
sirblastalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SJWs. Sure, some of them are misguided, but I have a lot more respect for someone that tries and fails to do the right thing than someone who doesn't try at all. Or, worse, someone who tries to tear down those trying to do good.
fubarspeaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ok with anything that doesn't involve exploiting kids or animals, is consensual, and leaves you in a good enough mood that you can do your work and be pleasant to me the next day.
Hans109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not having a girlfriend. Annoys me the most when my aunts keep asking "Do you have a girlfriend yet??"
I hate being asked that question. If I had a gf, MAYBE, just MAYBE I WOULD FREAKING SAY I HAVE ONE MYSELF? Why do my aunts have to ask this question every single time during gatherings?
I am Chinese, and you know this sort of aunts pestering you about having a gf is a relative normal behavior among middle-aged sexually frustrated women.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
People having an opinion, living, beliefs, that aren't status quo. I honestly don't care. Just don't force it on me, we're good.
atty26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
breaking up via text messaging
thelandloper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that most people think that doing things alone is socially unacceptable.
Bravou88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: all the things I normally do
trekbette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Last year, I went to the county fair by myself... sort of. My husband was working it, so I went with him. I walked in the front gate (after buying my ticket) and he went in the employee entrance. From there, I went and did my own thing.
I got to go at my own pace, wander off in any direction I want (I suffer from BSO's--Bright Shiny Object Syndrome [100% made-up/100% fatal], spend way too much time in the various craft halls, eat ridiculously bad fried everything (deep fried peanut butter cups)... the people watching was amazing too.
I had so much fun.
liabach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything that doesnt infringe on other peoples rights by applying some degree of self responsibility, and that I can keep out of my living room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Checking out a hot babe, crying in public and shitting with someone in the stall next to you.
Gojeflone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. As long as it's consensual and you don't have kids, who gives a shit?
synfulyxinsane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Belching/farting. Everyone does it. Granted there's a time and a place for everything.
matthewxknight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double-dipping.
Lysergicassini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Irish goodbye at a large gathering
ric1live ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Could you explain what that is?
Lysergicassini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
An Irish goodbye is when you leave without saying goodbye. Just vacate the premises. Obviously not good for small gatherings
mechroneal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing politics.
myusernameranoutofsp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being morally preachy. If people disagree with someone's stance then they can be confident in that and disagree. That's better to me then to not be exposed to other stances, and not having your stances tested. People who otherwise don't care much about various moral stances would be exposed to them and will hopefully be driven to do more research.
LegendofJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give you a hint: it's green.
ButtholeSoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tattoos. Lots and lots and lots of tattoos
real-dreamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. I need more honey mustard, ketchup or ranch. I deserve more honey mustard, ketchup or ranch.
I don't mind when others do it and I celebrate when we double dippers are not shamed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always think in pizza places it should be acceptable to eat leftover pizza. Sometimes you see parties leave like half a pizza untouched. I don't think this would work with all leftovers but the pizza slices are usually untouched.
FishFollower74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Belching and farting.
I mean - not loud ones (yes, I can control the volume - maybe it's my hidden superpower) because that is rude - but sneaking in a silent but deadly, or a nice belch with your mouth closed...what's the big?
x9ui2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
smoking weed just for the fuck of it
seedanrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cannibalism, when it will save others lives.
I'm NOT in favor of killing people, but if I was already dead and eating my leftover body could keep friends or family alive-- power to ya! I don't see what all the horror and shame is about when you find out this happened at plane or ship wrecks.
nedfred830 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
underwear lines
itrhymeswithbanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using someone else's toothbrush.
maryb197 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually playing with LEGO as a young adult. I am an older teen and in my spare time I love to sit at my lego table, put the figures in my hands and act out a whole story out loud as if I were 8 years old playing with little playhouse people. I gave a name to every single figure (70 +) in my city and created a backstory to each one in my head so I can follow up on their figurative lives the next time I play. I just tell family and friends that I collect the lego bricks and figures to build things with and it's just that. Not sure if it's more common than I think it is, but I know if I would talk about it in high school I would recieve weird/ uncomfortable looks and harsh comments.
tiffi_333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Its not more common, but it should be
bacasarus_rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbating on a airplane.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the shower
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying "bless you"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The confederate flag
xxoahu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes. Racist, Sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic give me all of it. It's just jokes man and I love it
beall49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racist jokes. I love them, especially in public. The more uncomfortable the better!
thenumber24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Walking into someones house without knocking
ric1live ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sitcoms make this seem normal
thenumber24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When i visited the south, this is how it was. My best friend grew up in Savanah GA and he said that growing up, you just walked into people's houses if you knew them at all. Unless you were total strangers, you didn't knock. Idk why i just think i would like it a lot more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Commiting suicide as an adult. I don't know. Sometimes I just understand it. It's like, if you're done with life why not. I'd say maybe give it a year to see if you really want/need to do it and at least try to change your life for the better. If you'll commit suicide in the end or if you end up not doing it because things got better, you have nothing to lose.
I know I'll be downvoted and probably should be downvoted, but it seems like it's a person's natural born right to do what they want with their lives. The only time that really changes is when you have people that depend on you, especially children or younger siblings. Instead of killing yourself, it's probably better to live through the torture of life for their sake.
Ugh. nevermind, suicide is stupid. It's like letting the shitty life or situation you might have win. I think i'd personally rather say "fuck you life, I'm tougher than you, you bitch."
So i guess I'll change my answer to...showing nudity in cartoons made for teenagers. Female nipples never hurt anyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking my nose, comfort first.
TheKaizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in public 1
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public. Really though, why not?
LogicalFool420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Interracial sex
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CptWhiskers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is socially acceptable. IN SAN DIEGO
Jackin It Jackin It Jackin It
toxicity187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unless for some reason I'm being on my best behavior. I'll rip one, or many in a row right in front of you!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting my leg humped by a dog. I was at a friend's birthday party (real small, only like 5 or 6 people) and the dog started humping my leg and my friend scolded him but I didn't really give a fuck.
sew_kert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reaching across someone at the dinner table. Like either my arm is going to cross part of your plate for one second to grab the salt, or I'm going to completely interrupt your dinner to ask you to hand me something that's totally in my reach? Makes no sense to me
Gstreetshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Terrible jokes and conversation of any fashion. The worse, the better. Make me want to take a shower afterwards. Talk about uncomfortable shit. Fuck your feelings.
CptKronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping
58592825866 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not looking people in the eyes when you talk to them.
I can't do it, so I don't have a problem if someone else can't.
greenbandit09800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rebel flags if those count.
MrCasevsTheWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping at the dinner table.
Gringleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
helicoptering the bus as it goes past
ev-dawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting
jellyfishin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in the pool or tub or shower. It really doesn't bother me. My ex-boyfriend was really grossed out when I told him I sometimes pee in the shower.
ric1live ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shower is fine, but I have to disagree with the tub and the pool.
Too unsanitary for me.
jellyfishin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's sterile. I don't do it all the time or even a lot but if I really have to pee I need to pee. Especially if I'm wearing a one-piece then taking that shit on and off is torture.
ric1live ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Contrary to (popular?) belief, urine is not sterile
rejoctz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating my food while my friends are waiting for theirs to arrive. I would do the same for them, if my friends are hungry why would I stop them from eating.
sapphireyedwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anal.
errrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men carrying purses/handbags.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbating every day, sometimes twice.
im-not-a-panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution. I know other countries allow it, but in the U.S. It is a huge no-no. I don't get it.
reki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the intent is that, if legal, exploitation would become much more problematic, particularly for children.
haylatte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Straddling in public - as long as there is no visible movement going on between their parts, I am completely fine with it
TheRandomRedditUser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Robbing banks. Everyone does it guys! There's no need to get all upset over it!
NotHosaniMubarak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
female nipples
MonkStrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting, burping, any bodily noise. Never really saw a problem with it.
UEdwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually politely tell people, if they ask, if I actually like the gift or not. For example my fiancรฉs Grandmother gave me a hat and immediately said, "Do you wear a lot of hats?". I immediately replied, " not very often (as I have a large very round head, which becomes immediately obvious the second I put on a hat), but I'm sure I'll get some use out of this one!" (as we were at the beach and I hadn't brought a hat) But then as the whole family laughed she thanked me for being honest and gave me a nice shirt instead!
BitsyPoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. As long as both people are consenting and within the same age range (I.E. legal adults, teens,ect.) have at it. Just don't do it for to many generations, cause that shit effes up the babies in too high of concentration.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being in an age gap relationship (>10 years gap). Couldn't believe at first that it could happen with me, but it is like any other relationship.
I am not talking about getting involved with someone in their teens, but someone who can be called an adult (I consider >25 years of age) and is mature.
woodsbre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being nude in public. Not just in some designated area either.
M8asonmiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the relationship is perfectly consensual and everyone involved is aware of the risks, I can't think of a single argument against incestuous relationships.
CannibalCucumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with people that play their music in public. Even it's from shitty cellphone speakers. They just want to share something they love with everyone within a 30-feet radius.
Gunsanddonuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
saying I'm not having a good day if it is true. Usually everyone, in a large social setting, just says they're good. Like wtf if I'm having a bad day I usually tell people if they ask how Im doing. Also I wish farts were socially acceptable but well.... They aren't hahaha
pandamurr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not having friends.... I mean, I have 2 sisters and a sister in law that I consider my friends but that's it. My brothers don't count.. Hehe. I occasionally hang out with work friends but I don't have any deep meaningful friendships with people im not related to and I'm fine with that. Always have been. Yes I'm an introvert.
ABTechie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat at the dining table.
leslieinthesky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling people out on their bullshit.
Chopedada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calling fat people fat and short people short, calling asians asians and calling black people black. We should be accepting who we are not getting offended by it.
Gjallarhornn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking candy from strangers.
Like, if there isn't palm sweat on it I don't want it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correcting people, they always seem to get very angry when they may ask me a question instead of axing me one.
eyelane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slurping food, like noodles
Homelesswarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nakedness. People need to grow up thin,beautiful,fat,ugly, it doesn't matter. The human body is what we've got. It shouldn't be illegal to show it. People shouldnt be judged for being naked in their own environments, or in public personally.
spore_dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Biting your nails
Chantatatal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using manners. You don't have to use them every single time. as long as your not demanding things its okay.
pancakehiatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest
jakeryan91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose, as long as you have a sanitary means to dispose of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nakedness of any sort, barefeet, topless, full nude... I just think everyone should be able to be in whatever state of dress or undress they like.
banned-for-posting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: 40% of posts being about being alone
TdoWino87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. I don't know why people find it so gross. I wish I had a tit to suck on when I get hungry.
progressnerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks and sandals
SkylarTheCreator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping and farting in public. Also pooping in public restrooms.... That's become somewhat of a habit...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gigraves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think people are concerned with children resulting from incestuous relationships and possibly one of the people involved being taken advantage of
peanutbummy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Other people doing hard drugs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not learning how to drive. I don't feel comfortable, as of yet, with the idea of me driving. I know I would get anxious and stressed out with something like that. But people are relentlessly telling me I should get my license. Also, it doesn't seem practical for me. I'm 19 and most of my money goes towards school, through which I get a bus pass, so I would have a tough time paying for gas and insurance. My family only has one car, so I wouldn't get many chances to drive. Maybe I'll get it at some point, but as of yet I'm fine with not having it, despite others trying to push it on to me.
katydid15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I waited until I was about to go to college to get my license. No car of my own to drive, no reason to (boyfriend and most of my friends had cars), family wouldn't be able to afford insurance/i couldn't pay for gas.
My mom only made me get it in case I needed for some reason to drive while at school. I ended up having a car to drive that next summer, and just got my own car this past october as a college senior.
Paying for gas sucks (thankfully parents still cover insurance), but the freedom is the best.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At the risk of sounding like your Mommy...please get it. Please. Just get it.
An emergency might happen. A friend could call you begging for a ride cause he's drunk and can't do it himself. You'll say "Can't help you, dog." He could try driving himself and kill himself and someone else. You'll spend the next 40 years regretting not having picked him up.
You think I'm being melodramatic? That has happened before. This isn't a fantasy. That scenario has played out in real life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Flying the Confederate Flag
Mrubuto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The odd grammar mistake. Get a life people.
subshophero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
drugs
lockedinaroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping and farting without having to acknowledge it. I think we should just accept that human beings are gross and get on with our lives.
Charalzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Peeing in public. Tastefully of course
Sanhael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How do you... tastefully?
Charalzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a corner or surrounded by things. I'm not saying whip your dick out and start peeing. But against a building/in an alley is no big deal
Baoburu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose-picking on the public places.
whuzez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having your shoelaces untied. People lose their shit about it. If they won't let it go I tell them that in 40 adult years on this planet I have never tripped on my shoelaces. I have however had them tangle (while tied) in unicycle cranks which is tripping times 10 and you have about 5 seconds to contemplate hitting the ground as they get tighter around the cranks.
Delsana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Male nudity when it's not homosexual or sexual in any nature. A lot of people get weird-ed out, I don't until it becomes sexual or it becomes provocative or you begin spin your dick around.
I'm a fan of camaraderie.
VaguelyHonest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing hats inside or in churches or whatever other similar place.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity
SUCK_MY_DICK_THANKS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What socially unacceptable things am I NOT OK with?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scratching pubic regions in public. First of all, there's clothes there. It's not like I'm rubbing my nuts all over my fingers or a lady is cramming her fingers up her front-butt. Just a nonchalant scratch to get rid of an itch. Or to get my junk un-cemented from my thigh. Really, really annoying feeling.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drug use.
PandalfDotA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People smoking around me. Even if it is pot. I don't mind.
DiverGuy1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing my ball cap at dinner.... And smoking weed in public. Don't like it? Stop worrying about what I do, cocksucka.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People in NYC are super-pissy about their property.
If they see someone sitting on their stoop (or even standing on it for a second), they go wild. They bellow "This is my stoop! You are violating private property!"
You know what? This isn't a police state. Someone feels sick and needs to sit down on your stoop, LET THEM!!! Someone needs to take a photo and uses the stoop to get a photo from higher up than street level? LET THEM!!
This is what a stoop is, for people who might not know:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoop_(architecture)
Same goes for other forms of private property. When my father and I once went to pick up my sister from elementary school, the school took forever and a day to release her and there were no chairs outside so we sat at the chairs belonging to an outside cafe and the owner went WILD on us. My father mumbled "I'm waiting for my daughter" and the dude snapped "I'M WAITING FOR MY DAUGHTER! What does that mean, I'm waiting for my daughter?!??! What does that mean to me?! I don't care who you are waiting for!"
For heaven's sake, get over yourself. Learn to share once in a while.
TheMasonOrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating the food people don't finish when they come into my work.
Prometheus720 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Touching/bumping into other people in public. It seems sad to me that people feel the need to say "Excuse me" when they come into contact with another person. Like, shit, you're not hurting me, it's fine.
Now, if you're running past me and shoulder-check me, I'm gonna be under your bed that night. But your shoulder and my shoulder can touch without it being offensive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being politically correct. Who cares? If you are legally obese, and I refer to you as fat, I am speaking the complete truth. If you portray the word "fat" as a negative adjective, that is your problem, but by definition you are fat.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using Adderall if you have trouble concentrating.
Both liberals and conservatives have HUGE issues with this. Libertarians, too. There is a BIG stigma against those pills. Both hippies and right-wing Republicans hate them.
They'll both say shit like "ADHD isn't a real disease! It's all a scam invented by Big Pharma. Those pills are all chemical. They aren't natural. Teachers only endorse it cause they can't discipline boys and want the pills to do that work for them. You'll get addicted to the chemicals and be a husk of a human! Being impatient is a normal symptom of being a young person. What you really need is a good ass-whipping to cure you of your so-called 'ADHD'."
You know what? It's my body and therefore my business. I am an adult and can put whatever I want into my own body. I control it, not you.
You don't like pills? Great. Wonderful. Don't take them yourself.
But don't try to make my medical decisions for me.
dakotacali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public masturbation
ThrewUpThrewAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a conservative.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a liberal.
But if you tell me you are a conservative, I'll say "Whatever, man. I won't judge you."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: A lot of things I would never have thought socially unacceptable.
Day drinking? That's socially unacceptable? I have never in my life used the term 'African American'. Riding shopping carts? Who would ever find that unacceptable?
mideon2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stereotypes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not saying grace. fuck people who make others say grace, and if not make them feel like they should be shunned. Mainly my family or friends family do that being I grew up in a place with a large Italian population. I'm sorry I don't believe in your fake beings, but don't act like I'm a murder for not saying thank you God for this meal.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using Plan B.
If a woman doesn't use it, she might get pregnant. She'll either have an abortion (sometimes an unpleasant and very stressful experience), be forced to adopt (and God knows what horrors the kid might experience with the new parents or the foster care system) or an unwanted baby she can't take care of.
How is that better?!?!?
All this can be avoided with one pill!
Why can't people see that?!?!
Also, why can't women under 17 buy it? Some health reason?
You know what's bad for a 16-year-old's health? Being forced by the pharmacy to get pregnant against her will. And giving birth to a baby or having an abortion. That's gonna harm her mental and/or physical health.
It's bad for the poor boy who got her pregnant, too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bra adjusting, dealing with sweaty underboob, letting the girls breathe with low cut shirts; I'm ok with girls do these terrible things in public.
And I'm ok with me being ok with this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Amen, brother!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
burping. among my circle of friends we literally do not care- in fact we care to a negative degree, meaning every time we do burp it has to be an offensive word- the longer the word or phrase the better
burping ''rape'' or ''AIDS'' is a pretty common one for example, but if you manage more syllables, then its even better, such as ''rapist'' or ''asshole''
the average age among us is 21
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking in public, on the beach, in the park, on your stairs, etc.
New York City bans all these things.
As long as you aren't blasting music till midnight, who cares if you drink in public?!
RemoveScrotum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers having sex with kids never bothered me. Whenever I hear about a female teacher caught having sex with a 15 year old boy, I'm like "whatevs", and even a bit jealous, lol.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely.
She should be fired. But she shouldn't be jailed or sued.
Same for a gay man who has sex with a 15-year-old boy. Same for a lesbian. Same for a man caught with a teenage girl.
She was 15. She knew what she was doing.
If it was consensual, whatever.
If it was rape by the teacher, however, that's a horse of a different color.
ChipSchafer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Teens and young adults with very little tact.
There's a difference between being ok with something and being inappropriate for the current situation/audience.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating in school. I helped people cheat non-stop in school.
As long as you won't be a doctor, I don't care that you looked over at my paper during the test.
warlordcs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what to think here. Unless someone in school aspired to work at McDonalds for the rest of their lives cheating could be a big problem. Not just for doctors. What about engineers (structural, chemical, electrical,etc...), welders, heavy machinery drivers, pilots, etc... These people all have more lives then their own at stake. And if they don't really know what they are doing because they cheated their way through life to get there.
And what if you were applying for a job that you were well versed in and next to you waiting for an interview was someone who cheated off of you and they got the position. How irritating would that be to lose it to someone who doesn't even know what they are doing.
But then again people who cheat only cheat themselves. At least we hope that's how it plays out
Lsnofs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking/possession of marijuana.
b1oodshy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:17 on August 6, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
of course
Takerofsoles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Really late for this and will probably be missed but, being nude. I'm not going to go on some sex fueled rampage simply because my cock is hanging out, everyone is made with the same parts as their respective genders so I'm not revealing anything shocking and if it is a more common thing then it simply loses any awkward social constructs attached to it.
Let me be comfortable in my body in my own way.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being trans.
If you are a man and want to be a woman or vice versa, I see no problem with that.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing shoes indoors.
I don't get why people make you remove your shoes.
I'm uncomfortable walking around barefoot.
Buscat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
White people wearing native headdresses at festivals, apparently. Fuck you 2015 and your made up problems.
Derrickrosescrutch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing your hood inside. Only people who care are old usually.
raginwriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls grabbing my crotch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IDGAF if you burp/fart in public. I have anosmia (lack of sense of smell) so it doesn't bother me anyway. Of course, I refrain from that myself since I know it bothers others, but I couldn't care less whether someone else does.
rotian28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sit in my house in the dark and drink a beer or whiskey while listening to music. People loose their minds
alabrasa301 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if girls choose to just take their clothes off in public. Free the nipple
zuppaiaia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. I don't care, it's a body, I'm fine with it as long as it's clean.
AH17708 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Criminals committing crimes against other criminals. As long as it's not endangering innocent bystanders..I say fuck em. I think it's bullshit that someone can commit a crime against you but and then be protected in court once you retaliate against them ...I'm talking law abiding citizen type shit
Crossbows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OPs mom
kryptonianCodeMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity, pda, drunkenness, etc. All the vices, so long as you're not hurting anyone, are fine with me. Might be gross depending in the person but not offensive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So many top posts have the word "alone" or some synonym for the the answer, what are you trying to tell me redditors?
caramba2654 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. I mean, it's something natural. It might be unpleasant, but holding them in is really uncomfortable. It also makes no sense that people made darting something taboo when literally EVERYONE has to fart. It's just as stupid as making breathing a taboo.
djphatjive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking in public. In designated areas of course.
Laurenslothy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When guys leave the toilet seat up, it's really not that hard to just put it down. Plus they have to lift it up to pee so girls can put it down after guys pee. I've talked to a lot of other girls and it appears I'm the only one who doesn't care.
wwildflower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only time I saw an issue with it was when one of my close friends/roommate had a terrible uti(which she commonly gets, and doctors can't figure out why) and literally couldn't hold her pee in long enough to pull her pants down AND put the seat down so she would choose pants and occasionally fall into the toilet/sit on the gross pee covered inner rim. That's the only time anyone is allowed to be angry about a toilet seat being up.
Laurenslothy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:12 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's completely understandable
wwildflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:07 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm real polite about toilet seats though. If I go in a house of all men, I always put the seat back up for them.
Maybe that's just weird... dunno. My ex liked it.
iborpastan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
walking barefoot... everywhere. I find it weirdly comfortable but I try to stop myself from doing that to avoid social stigma unless I'm around a large group of friends. People that are completely grossed out by feet totally irk me.
farting and burping in public. I don't really dislike fart smell as much as other people I suppose.
"slutty" clothing. As long as it fits properly, it looks fine.
Breast feeding in public. In fact, I find seeing a mother breast feeding her child to be rather heartwarming. Of course there are certain situations where it would be strange, like in a large crowd, or where it just wouldn't seem very comfortable, but any weirdness I might find in it wouldn't have anything to do with seeing an exposed breast (and I'm a straight guy)
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing a hat (or hood or doorag or whatever) in school. Teachers went NUTS over that. There was a never-ending battle over hats in schools. It took up so much classtime.
That rule is so out-dated. It is so ancient. It made no sense to anyone. Even a lot of teachers said "I'm utterly mystified by that one but I have to enforce it" to us.
Who gives a damn if you wear a hat in school?! If someone's hair is fucked up, I want him to cover it up!!
And it wasted so much time. Teenagers can't read well, can't do math, get pregnant, get someone else pregnant, get into gangs, are occasionally homeless, get abused by their parents and stepparents and can't find jobs. And we are worried about the motherfucking hats??!?!?!?!
poopspeedstream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dumpster diving and eating unopened food from the trash.
darkguitarist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surprise blowjobs
holyfookingshiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty ok with most things that may be deemed slightly inappropriate so long as they aren't breaking the law
thesugardealers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing.
im_a_kat_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping. I think the only true offsetting aspect of burps is their smell, if they smell, and all you gotta do is just blow it in the other direction.
redstickyapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually saying what you think and not just what others want to hear.
willardfartmore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting as loud as your anus will allow. I'm cool with it because I do it and I know you fart.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sex work. Criminalization just sets it up for all sorts of abuses and risks the health of workers and their clients. Harm reduction works.
Azagorod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes about minorities.
Hrodrik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Offending people's feelings.
washoutr6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love it if a woman can cuss nonchalantly most girls are way too polite.
aussiegreenie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cigars and pipes
G8kpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Topless women anywhere they want... I am pretty ok with that.
KaneoheB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
orgies
ace425 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hacking up a loogie.
RonaldTheGiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fellating garden gnomes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excretion of excess internal gases...you can't stop it from happening so just go for it.
Saliiim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correcting people's spelling/grammar/pronounciation/what ever.
As a Dyslexcicsic person I am a bit of a prat when it comes to spelling, as long as you're not rude or malicious about it I generally appreciate the correction and make a mental note of it.
Grammar Nazi's are great, Heil Grammar Hitler.
NeekoBe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about how you voted.
It might be something that only happends in Belgium, but people here do not want to talk about who they voted for. Even when i was younger and asked people in my family i was responded with 'YOU DONT ASK PEOPLE WHO THEY VOTED FOR'.
I never understood why.
Realdogfood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same in Sweden, i don't know what my parents vote for, and i don't want to know. I can't really explain why but i would not tell anyone what i voted for, it just feels like that concerns me and me only.
Talking politics on the other hand i see nothing wrong with.
rinnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not asking is not the same thing as not talking about it. I talk politics on occasion, and some people will volunteer the information, but I would never ask. The custom might differ a bit here in California.
NeekoBe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aye, but do you know the reason why u would never ask?
I don't mind anyone asking me. I mean, if i made a choice then I better be able to defend my choice, right?
rinnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because asking puts the person on the spot, wherein they must tell you something which is not your business, or refuse a direct request. I would consider it rude to put someone in that position.
NeekoBe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Not your buisness' in my book means 'i'm ashamed' when it goes about voting.
If you ask me for who i voted, i'd gladly tell people and try to convince them why that was a good choice (in my perspective)
Not trying to be a dick about it, i just genuinely don't understand why people act so secretive abouts it :p
rinnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they value their privacy, and their friends. Asking personal questions risks both.
FantasyDuellist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much anything.
pulezan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to read some jucy stories but all i got was "i like being alone", "i like eating alone", "i like drinking alone" and "i like calling out people when they behave like dicks". Since when are those things socially unacceptable? I do all that stuff and i've never felt someone judging me because of it. You eat alone when you're hungry and your friends are not, i like being alone when i want peace and quiet, i like to grab a beer or whiskey when i feel like it, if someone's being a dick you go ahead and tell them. It's like we're living in 2 different worlds.
shoejunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most of them.
sisterlovinthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I'd be surprised to find this one at the top of the page (probably because I'm replying so late) but here I go anyway.
I'm okay with incest. I don't understand why, when I've grown up in a culture that says "Let two consenting adults love each other if they do." that same culture turns around and says "Except those two, because they're related." It seems hypocritical to me.
Now obviously there are genetic complications, but personally I think it's the responsibility of the couple to adopt instead of bringing a possibly impaired child into the world. I also don't really see that as a good enough reason to shame and try to prevent two people being in love.
adza32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lotta thing: Swearing - its just words ffs Tattoos and piercings - why cant someone express themselves and have style? fuck society for making people be fake Dating / dressing outside race - we are humans Not following dress codes - style point again
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
boywonder5691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Over the top, vulgar, non-PC humor
lipsstainedred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
If a submission gets more than 1k upvote, well I think whatever they said is pretty socially acceptable then
heeredd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
4chan
MrSluby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I accidently spit on someone when I'm talking or like walk into someone as we both go the same way, I just straight up call it out because its much easier than having the silent awkwardness as you either shuffle past them, or watch them rub your mouth excrement off there T-shirt or phone screen.
ReflexezJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of your sex life. Specifically to the opposite sex. My closest friends are girls and they always come to me with questions/stories about what they do. In all honesty, it's just a bit of fun and it's interesting. Who knows? You might find a mate throughout.
El_Dumfuco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are many cases where two adults perform tasks under constent and completely free from any harm, where I just don't see the problem. For example: incest, prostitution.
cristianbam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meeting up for kisses with Jenny.
Pec0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide. There are too many people on this planet and more coming everyday, so if you really want to check out, you should be able to say good bye to your loved ones and make a graceful exit from life when you want to without it hurting everyone you've ever known.
Emil_Scalibia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing. In my opinion, it's natural and I honestly don't understand why parents wash their kids mouths with soap when they swear. Hell, I swear since I was five years old, and I'm a normal human beeing.
bubble_thrust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doubble Dipping Meh be my guest
s00prtr00pr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being bored around and with friends. I like hanging out with friends and doing fun stuff but sometimes it's nice to play some boring card game or whatever. My friends can't even play board games without turning the whole game into some shot-frenzy where you drink so much you can't even finish the game.
Pathetic fucks.
t6393a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes. It is just a bodily function, and I am sure no one believes those old superstitions anymore.
clockworkgirl21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes dread sneezing because I know someone is going to say, "Bless you," and I'm a bitch if I don't say, "Thank you."
I'd rather everyone just ignore my sneeze.
t6393a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, it's just a bodily function. It isn't like we say anything for someone coughing or any other function.
eine666katze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women being topless or breast feeding in public- they're just boobs. Stop holding them to this sexual idolized level. Unless it's being rubbed it's just a body part
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clearing out all the food from the office snack jar/candy jar if no one else ever eats it anyway.
Take the whole thing. I don't give a shit. It's not my business.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The freegan lifestyle.
Given how much our society wastes, these people are doing us a favor by reducing our waste. They should be praised for pulling stuff out of the trash.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting and scratching your balls in public. I want these to be social norms, as I need to do both now.
SelfXPlanetOrE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Placing elbows on the table.
UzukiCheverie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing hats in a classroom.
It's a bit questionable if someone's wearing this hood over their face and you can't see what they're doing (or if they're wearing something with ridiculous captions like "BITCHES RULE"), but if it's just a baseball cap or a toque or something you just feel comfortable wearing (especially for people that might be having a bad hair day or just don't have confidence in their hairstyle or have visible head lice, or whatever it is) then I say let 'em wear it.
This is a big problem I find in modern day high schools/elementary schools/etc. that teachers almost shame students for, and it's something that, to me, isn't even that big of a deal. By the time they're in post-secondary, they'll have developed the common sense a long time ago that not wearing a hat in certain situations is required, but if it's just in a classroom - especially for a school that you're paying to be there for - and you're just working, it's not really an issue. It might have been "disrespectful" a long time ago, but times change, and especially in the scenarios I listed above, sometimes people just feel more comfortable being able to wear their bean cap or their baseball cap and not having to feel insecure about their hair or the problems with their hair. There are a LOT worse things that students do in school these days, I think wearing a hat during class is the least of the administration's problems.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. There's nothing wrong with wearing hats in class.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Where I went to high school, we used to have a bad gang problem so they wanted to minimize gang violence and stuff and made the policy so people couldn't show their colors or whatever.
UzukiCheverie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, that's awful. Was this a gang problem at your school or just in the town your school was situated? If it was just at your school, you'd think the school would just find ways to take care of that - like actually contacting the parents, police department, etc. - that didn't involve making other students who weren't involved pay the price for other people's actions. Public schools have such awful "everyone has to pay for each other's mistakes, even if they're not involved" methods of handling stuff.
That sucks.
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was the town. We didn't have metal detectors or anything. The gang problem was there before I went there in the mid 90s. It seems to be easier to put a rule in place than remove it, especially if it's something like dress code. We had all sorts of other rules like you couldn't wear all red or have bandanas, but those things never affected me.
UzukiCheverie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I figured, I was hoping that kids weren't getting away with stuff like that. Sounds rough. Did you end up moving out of there after high school?
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:12 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, then I went back after college. The school was actually pretty good, they are ranked pretty high I guess.
The problem is class disparity in the town. Huge lower class population with a large upper middle class. When I went there the gang problem was pretty non existent as far as I could tell. Drugs were a huge problem, though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ok
Edit: I live in a pretty safe town, so I didn't see the problem with wearing hats in class.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:51 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed a million percent.
I never, ever, ever understood this rule.
Even the teachers at my school were mystified at it.
katburr1997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scratching yourself through your clothes, adjusting, and the whole "free the nipple" thing. If I had a choice though...everyone would always be nakey.
superpowder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People eating, chewing, slurping, drinking, smacking their lips etc. whilst eating. Really doesn't bother me in the slightest. Go ahead and eat how you want to damn eat. As long as it's not on public transport.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:16 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking politics at work.
Ideas should be exchanged. There should be a debate.
This shouldn't be seen as taboo.
berttg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:29 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If people fart in my presence, I almost welcome it. I'm 25 and poots are still funny.
nnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:59 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Enigmas.
golfball1111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:28 on July 25, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thinking George Carlin isn't funny
tootieboots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:48 on July 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking.
SpeediePetey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:09 on October 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bit of a dangerous one here but consensual incest (as long as they don't procreate)
teambaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting on my friends.
deeedeesutts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guy I used to work with that would do this constantly - He'd wait until we were in a conference call and it was my turn to talk and he would sneak up behind me, press his ass against me and fart. At first it drove me bonkers but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't smiling thinking about it right now. Fuck I think I actually miss that kid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
drostan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
mouth farts are fine as well if not abused of
W360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being White.
masongr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
incest = wincest
xtatik222k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody being able to say the word 'nigger.' Either it's appropriate for everybody to say it, or nobody. Allowing certain people to get away with it and not others is precisely the kind of racism that the term claims to be against.
Klangdon826 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fist fighting. Dueling. Grabbing a girls ass. Being inebriated. And being a naked pirate. Who smokes ganja.
malawisativa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yarghh will u be my ship mate as we conquer the 7 seas plundering precious cargo of rum and jamaican ganja with our smoking crew latino babes in yoga pants.
Klangdon826 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:56 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aye
bird1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am behind you 5/6 so I upvoted but grabbing girls asses without knowing she is cool with it is sketchy.
Klangdon826 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:12 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Part creeper. Must suppress. Thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Banevader69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oooh, i knew one woman like that and she would have been pissed
mrhthepie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I misread this as "all my uncles and wives". Puts a very different spin on your story.
sl1878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing single parenting as a negative.
nutsaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not tipping. I'm really tired of paying someone to do tasks I would do myself if I was allowed to. Since they get paid minimum wage if they don't make enough in tips I see nothing wrong with it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:50:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ThaDestiny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
2.13 an hour?! Where do you live/what is your age?
As far as I understand tipping your waiter in the USA is a must because they are underpaid. In Western Europe you do not have to worry about that since minimum wage should be high enough. I only tip if I believe the waiter deserved the extra.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:09:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all true. It's $2 + tips or minimum wage, whichever is greater. Some waitresses and bartenders make far more money than if they were paid a standard wage. $20 a hour for unskilled labor is pretty good here.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:02:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:03:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's the tipped rate. If you don't make minimum wage your employer has to cover the difference. I use to be a waiter.
sailingdawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not being politically correct. I could give a Damn less if you're offended by what I say. If it's true then get over it. And also, skin color. If someone is black, they're black. If they're white, they're white. Plain and simple. Unless you're born in another country you can't say your anything-american.
admiral_brunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
population control and eugenics
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:12:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I kinda wish we had hunger games.
Omegaclawe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Going barefoot.
Feet were made for walking. Obviously people haven't had fancy shoes to wear forever, and you'll find that if you don't baby them, your feet are incredibly tough, strong, and versatile. You'll naturally have a better and more controllable grip than most shoes you'll ever try, and never have an issue with "rolling your ankle" because your foot can conform to the ground below you.
Our feet are incredible, and we lock them up and pretend like they don't exist.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree,if I could I would be barefoot all the time. Although some people don't wash their feet and should wear shoes, but if people have clean feet then why not let them be barefoot?
snugglypuppylover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I roll my ankle when I'm barefoot.... Yep, I am that skilled.
skwnd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:49:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Broken glass, ouch.
ASCIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Internet piracy. The concept of intellectual property annoys me, simply because art isn't a commodity to be bought and sold. Plus, the creators generally earn enough profit from folks who actually "buy" their works that the people who get it for free aren't a detriment to their livelyhood.
SyntheticGod8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, most people are happy to pay for something as long as it's reasonably priced and convenient. By putting content behind restrictive DRM they're only turning of people who only have a passing interest in the content... and annoying those who are otherwise happy to get it. They'll now pirate it and maybe buy the bluray set if it's not an over bloated shut that's $80 a season.
Some people just want to try before they buy. I buy music when it's convenient, but I'm not getting it release day because what if it's crap or only has one good song?
brightstarblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much everything. Fuck taboos, I want society to look at its true, "ugly" self. Swear, use drugs, run naked in the streets, bring on the chaos. We need to stir up the culture and get it out of the archaic quicksand it unknowingly sleeps in, time to be real humans.
Orso_dei_Morti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lookatthisbadass.jpg
brightstarblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about being a badass. To the contrary, its about being real, un subdued, with critical observation of the learned behaviors ane ego. Incorporating blatant disregard and uninvolvement in pop culture.
damnbandvan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. It's hilarious and satisfying and the ONLY possible downside is an unpleasant smell that's just a superficial side effect that will be gone in a matter of minutes. It's also an indicator of s healthy digestive system. We should celebrate it, rather than shun it.
Sgt_Black_Death ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks with sandals!
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:50 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is disgusting.
Sgt_Black_Death ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It screams "No education, class or style."
It's very white trash.
Plus, it just looks wrong.
Sgt_Black_Death ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So having no education, class, or style is disgusting? Cool
RNAPII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair like half the college professors I worked with wore white socks and sandals.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:12 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They needed a lesson on how to dress, then.
I'm not the fanciest person in the world myself but that one is a huge no-no. HUGE.
You just don't do it. You just don't.
sluteva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about sexual things and joking about sexual things in most settings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cut in lines if people are doing that cluster thing where you have to ask if people are in line.
AquaPrison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being overweight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The images that have come to be associated with these actions are absolutely unpleasant. Also, burps tend to smell disgusting.
kernunnos77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting (unless people are eating).
Seriously, let it out, bro. We've all smelled 'em before. If it's particularly nasty I'll congratulate you with watery eyes while laughing it off.
palmswag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bdsm
TehSalmonOfDoubt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burps and farts. I will even compliment you for an impressive one
drineth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Spending all day on reddit.
carter222555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Infidelity, don't get me wrong its not ideal but it wouldn't really bother me that much if I found out my SO was fucking somebody else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the reason other animals aren't eaten is because others aren't meat animals.
Pigs, cows, etc are eaten because they generate massive amounts of edible meat in a short time. Dogs and cats generate comparatively little meat for the time spent raising them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any animals as meat, why do people ignore the fact that the animals we eat care about their lives just as much as we do, I wish people would eat things with less complex nervous systems such as insects like they do in some cultures
somerandom314159 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
farting in public
cucumbinator123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The feminist really start to come out the further you go down.
AlwaysUsuallyRight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Open relationships.
Born2dodishes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. I have chronic gas problems and I'm so fucking tired of doing the one-cheek-sneak. People don't get miffed when you cough or sneeze. Handle farts the same way. Holding that shit in hurts, man.
Sakkyoku-Sha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sex in public.
I honestly don't care if I see you fucking on the train.
notLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with
Other people being obese
Other people calling them out.
Both are unacceptable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Slamming into slow walkers. I might just be an asshole, but if you and your friends are walking 3-4 abreast on a sidewalk, I don't care if I'm walking with you or against you, I will just not stop and let my shoulders hit you. It's a sidewalk, it works like traffic. Walk on the right half of it so other people may use it.
I literally despise those people. They have no concept of personal space, and expect everyone else to part around them. For the record I often walk in the street around those slow fucks because children. Stay as far to the side as possible!
Leeoku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did you do this weekend?
"Play videogames"
-Receives blank stare-
So?
playswithdolls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Concealed carry of a firearm. I do live in CA though. so, you know, it's "different" here.
Stormshiftx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People not being able to afford healthcare in the United States
BinaryAznMon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gender inequality.
I'm ok with the guy always paying for dates, I'm ok with girls getting ahead in clubs without me. Because if gender equality exists, then the moment you abuse me in any way shape or form your gonna get the same treatment back (mental, physical etc etc), and frankly I am not ok with guys hitting girls or any of that stuff.
rumplefourskin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nip slips
Poppenhoffer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying that Emma Watson isn't some incredibly hot sex icon. Because she really isn't even that pretty to me. I have no idea why nerds latch onto her.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
singing
if shit is my jam, why should I not rock to it?
rolm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
4 hours and no mention of being topless?
Pitholaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Natural selection, like dumb people making dumb stuff that could be deadly for them. I won't regret them.
po0pdawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about porn/sex in public/openly
I'm not at all ashamed or confused about my sexuality, so I feel like it's an easy enough topic to share.
Oh, also I'm dating a camgirl, which I also don't mind at all.
hugsbosson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sleeping with someone who you know has a bf/gf/husband/wife if you have no connection to that bf/gf/husband/wife.
Voxwork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious, but what would your reaction be if someone that has no connection to you slept with your wife/husband?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public, especially audible farts. Let 'er rip. No sense in being in pain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Murder of anyone who deserves it, and sword fighting. We need to bring that back.
NotInThePooperPlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who gets to decide who deserves it? The murderer?
labrys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BDSM, sado-masochism, pretty much any fetish is fine by me. What you want to get up to in the privacy of your own home has nothing to do with anyone else, as long as it's between consenting adults. I might not get every fetish, or be able to understand why anyone else would enjoy it, but I'm pretty sure I've got some kinks that'll leave others scratching their heads too.
Civil718 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Miscarriages and abortion.
DostThowEvenLift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
theUglyBarnacle69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lifting men's kilts because I do it all the time
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest
carefree710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking indoors.
Littering in a city (its not littering if there is nothing living and every inch is covered in concrete).
Asking people how much money they make/ being asked how much I make.
Being the family disappointment.
Not giving a reason when you break up with someone, remember it takes 2 to tango but only 1 to end the dance.
Never gave 2 weeks notice, an employer wont do it for me I wont for them.
Recycling is for suckers, I could burn all my garbage with kerosene in my backyard and it still wouldn't amount to one days worth of BP's pollutants
Sorry if I sound like a dick I just think most American standards are bullshit, arbitrary, or only apply to the lower classes.
FullTimeWorkIsCancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good user name.
carefree710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
thank you sir! its a combination of my love for chelsea fc and cannibas oil
ErgoDelavies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest
Bastard_Bruce_Wayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitution. A women can do whatever she wants with her body, except provide for her family.
Hopczar420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farts and belches. There's no need to be ashamed of natural body functions. I bless them just like sneezes.
dwkfym ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sleeping with other people, to be brutally honest. just wear a fucking condom and if you bring 'home' an STD, you're done.
Zyand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing socks with sandels
unaisnh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating with your left hand.
diseasedicon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
incest
cricketcornbread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping out loud. Most people I know stifle theirs and it sounds like air leaking from a tire. Just let it out!
Lanternchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having no piety. I never talk about this, but I have not much respect for the death.
It starts with little things like not talking "bad" about someone who recently died, crosses over to mean jokes about death and then gets a twist noone understands.
I do not understand why it is not permitted to eat corpses, especially in areas where there is shortage of food and I do not see why eating of the own species is considered to be abnormal.
I do of course understand killing or hurting someone is bad, that's not the issue, I wouldn't be eaten when I am alive as well. But I wouldn't be disgusted by the thought to be eaten by someone after my dead, instead of buried in the earth where I am eaten also.
I also know a lot of people who are against transplanting organs of dead and so on and I just don't get it. Dead is dead, isn't it?
Would be happy if someone might explain it to me or could change my point of view, if it is wrong.
rohho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I do not understand why it is not permitted to eat corpses" careful mate, might cut yourself with that edge.
Lanternchild ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:11:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know, but since the question was what socially unacceptable things we are okay with...
I am not talking about hunting people down to feast on them. I just ask myself why our society makes such a huge taboo out of it.
Don't get me wrong. I ate a lot of things that are disgusting in other societys like insects, turtle, shark or Balut... I just visited a lot of different places and asked myself.
I would not eat a human, because I know its forbidden. But I don't know why it is forbidden.
Also I don't get why people are okay with incest here but my mere question why it would be so crazy is cutting an edge.
Would appreciate answer of maybe someone who downvoted this.
SinisterDeath30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:01 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public.
sonic1992 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:38:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rip and RUN!!! Ha ha !
Seaborn2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
Hailbacchus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public sex / nudity. It's how we all got here, I don't see what the big taboo is.
That said, no one wants to see their parents doing that nasty shit, so maybe I somewhat see it
StayFrostyIcebrgSlim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picture two 400 lbs men blowing their load on each other in a public park while children are walking by. Gotta remember its banned for everyone or its okay for everyone.
IceBear14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:07 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Step brother/sister hooking up. They aren't blood, people have urges. What if you where meant to be together, but your parents beat you to it?
Before you ask, no, I don't have any step sister I'm hard for, parents are still together
couldbeworse54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean step brother/sister.
IceBear14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's the one ha ha
stayshiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a beer on my own. Lots of people don't understand how I can do it since I'm your average 24 year old but I quite enjoy just having a drink or two by myself maybe watching some sports or reading a book.
CodyLikesPie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has lost a family member to a robber in a convenience store, I strongly believe in the death penalty.
I don't think child molesters or pedophiles or cold-blooded murderers should even be allowed to live in this world. They're being fed and sheltered by the government while we have thousands of homeless veterans in the United States that fought for our country.
It's heartbreaking.
SantyClawz42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating on a test, if you get away with it... All of our academic institutions yap yap yap about how bad it is to cheat while honoring prolific cheaters in history such as Watson and Crick, Shakespeare and even Alexander Grand Bell stole his innovation of the telephone.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I let people cheat off me in school. I helped people cheat all the time.
It's not a problem to me in the least. Except if you want to be a doctor, a nurse or a lawyer. In that case, you better know your shit.
But if it is a fucking Political Science class? Oh, please.
SantyClawz42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But isn't a lawyers entire job based around cheating?
For me it was a matter of just don't do it in front of me, in a Darwinian fashion - if your dumb enough to get caught then you lose.
kinkakinka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fish in the work microwave. Fuck your overly sensitive ass.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really about oversensitivity as it is about consideration for others. Not everyone likes fish. A lot of people hate it. Fish tends to stink up the entire microwave for quite a while, and consequently flavor any following food with it slightly. It's not cool to force others to eat what you did.
Now, if your fish can't be smelled from 8 feet away? Heat it up to your heart's content.
This applies to all strong-smelling foods. If it's communal, be considerate. If it's your own and people just don't want to smell it, well, tough shit. You should be able to eat what you want.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the level of autism on reddit is not overassessed.
teh_mexirican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kissing other people while in a relationship. I'm a very curious person and every now and then I'll meet or see someone in public and wonder how they kiss. I've got a thing for nice smiles/kissable lips and sometimes I just want to satisfy that curiosity and nothing more. I've stopped doing that now because I'm married but it would be cool if I knew my husband wouldn't freak out if I kissed a stranger for science every now and then.
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as the person you're in a relationship knows and is fine with it, why the hell not?
Now, if they don't know, or if they aren't alright with it, then you're an asshole.
walrusnoob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pedofiles who don't act on their urges
UniversalFarrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of them cannot help their desires and hate themselves for them, and want nothing more than to be rid of them. How does that make them monsters? They're just sick, in the true sense of the word.
The ones who molest, rape, and get off watching kids (whether at a park or through non-hentai porn), on the other hand...they're the monsters.
cookmybook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm okay with pregnant women taking a puff of weed here or there. Not everyday, and vaping is better than smoking, but I know it helps them with morning sickness, anxiety and other physical discomfort.
Mac_drevious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
as long as its vaped i cant even see how people have a problem with it...they fucd inda hed
Zavasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking to Yourself, you have the conversation exactly how you want it. I'll admit to it. I was bored one day and taught (re-taught?) myself an interesting way Hitler could've handled Operation Barbarossa. Also don't give me the "talk in your head" shit, that shit isn't the same
Cannot believe this isn't higher
PM_ME_INCEST_PORN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest. I mean, in all seriousness, if you're both consenting adults and you're not planning to have kids, then who the hell cares if you want to fuck each other?
Cure4theEn3my14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A kid doesn't have to be planned to happen
PM_ME_INCEST_PORN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you can plan for it not to happen. There are plenty of very good options for contraception.
I personally wouldn't want to anyway. I just don't see why we should ostracize people who do.
Cure4theEn3my14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I get that but contraception is not always 100% effective. Just my opinion.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women having consensual sex with teenage boys.
If a 16-year-old boy sleeps with a 30-year-old woman, he is NOT damaged. Not in the least.
Hell, he will be the king of the school. All the other boys will be very impressed.
Now, if the woman rapes him, that's another story.
FatalDosesOfOsmosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you're not a teacher.....
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I am. I'm an afterschool teacher.
And I agree that if any of my female (or male) colleagues slept with a student, they should be fired. You should no longer be teaching at that school.
But jail? A lawsuit? I don't think so. A 14-year-old boy knows exactly what he's doing. The gay ones and the straight ones.
When I was 14, a classmate who was homosexual lost his virginity to a random stranger who was in his late 30s or 40s. Not a teacher, however. Some random dude that he met on the train. This classmate later bragged and laughed about it.
Teenagers want sex with adults. And adults want sex with teens. That's how the world is. It always was that way. Always.
If I'm recalling correctly, in the Jane Austen novel "Sense and Sensibility", which is set in 1792, a dude who is 35 falls in love with a 16-year-old girl who is a virgin. This is treated like a totally normal thing. Her mother doesn't object at all. He later marries her.
Today, this would be seen as a human rights violation, a perversion and a sex crime and Amnesty International would be called, especially if brown people did it.
Back then, it was seen as a perfectly respectable thing.
I am not saying marriage should be in the picture- but if the 16-year-old throws him/herself at an adult, she/he shouldn't be punished for it.
ElQuackers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burping and farting. It's natural, everyone does it and it's fucking hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports.
I want to see the best feats of athletic ability the human body can possibly produce; holding people back is a luddite move.
Somzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, personally I kinda agree with that, for two reasons.
First, as far as I know, these things are not exactly healthy,
and second, because rather than to see what drugs can make people do, I want to see what people are capable of themselves.
Though I do not think of such drugs as "socially unacceptable", I'd be fine if they decided to do it, I just wouldn't like it that much.
speadskater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Open conversations about buttsex, birth control, and periods in public.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't like it, don't listen.
belizeanheat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Totally fine with people taking up multiple spots in uncrowded lots. I don't do it, but I don't think people realize how often cars get dinged by the car next to them.
I have about 4-5 marks, scratches, dents on my car that happened when I was nowhere near it.
Claude_Reborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shagging women half my age.
20 yr old women are AWESOME in bed. Women my own age are terrible in bed, and mostly baby crazy by this point.
JaronK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend fucking other people.
I know, it's outside normal. I'm well aware. I just don't care about it... or am happy about it, depending on the person in question. And the result of accepting that fact has lead to a much happier sex life in general (in addition to having multiple girlfriends who are into each other as well).
But it's not something a lot of people understand.
thoughtfag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Rebel Flag.
DavidsTeaBag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texting and driving (unless they're in front of me at a light) instant horn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hats inside buildings and houses. It used to drive me nuts in school and it drives me nuts now. I've actually had some asshole make a comment about me wearing a hat in a retail store.
Drinking before Noon; everyone I know freaks out if they see me drinking before Noon. Fuck that, I'll do what I want, I'm not about to follow someone else's self imposed rules.
Elbows on the table; I have a grand mother who bitches about this all the time, but apperently it's okay for her to shit herself at the table. Hmm, I wonder which one would be considered more rude?
tvfuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying things that are unpopular.
The_Dipster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, sex in a "public" place.
If you're not being disruptive, small children aren't witnessing the act, and you get a kick from voyeurism, who cares?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like we don't learn the words pretty early on anyway.
Thickchesthair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Telling someone they are acting like a dick when they are acting like a dick.
SICCNESS206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whooping someone else's kid, or atleast set them straight. Growing up a few of my friends mom's would pop me if i talked back, my mom would do the same. It takes a village to raise a child.
fluffykitty12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm all for it if you know the person, it's not okay for a stranger to do. Like, yeah, the kid in walmart is crying, but that doesn't give you the right to discipline them. Yes, it's annoying, but the parent has to deal with it.
Also- gotta be careful about physical punishment. As a kid my grandparents and parents would spank me if I was bad, but nowadays, if a stranger takes a kid across there knees and strikes there rear- it's not okay. If it's a close friend of the family, yeah, it's cool, but just because you've said hi to me once or twice doesn't mean you discipline my kid.
SICCNESS206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what i mean. Although depends on the situation. For example, one of my old neighbors caught a kid (around 12) snooping in his garage. He told him to get the Fuck out etc etc, the kid said something like "i don't have to, i can do what i want". So my neighbor slapped the shit out of him. The kid screamed, cried all that, went and got his dad. Long story short, his dad wasn't mad, thanked him even.
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that kid absolutely deserved it. Must've been an eye opener for the kid- but like, if the kid was 6- I'd say after the age of 10 kids are old enough to face the reprcussions of their actions at the hands of other adults, but not sooner. I just have an issue if it's a young child, it freaks me out.
jaxmagicman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People not using their blinkers doesn't bug me at all.
bigbabich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Massachusetts?
jaxmagicman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
South Carolina
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My motorcycle doesn't even have blinkers. I agree with you 100%
Unimatrix_Zero_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Double dipping. I mean...you see how big tortilla chips are, right? Why am I going to waste my time if there's no guac on it? What is the honest to god worst case scenario of double dipping?
Especially since the people who bitch about this are usually completely fine 'trying' everyone's drinks. Fuck you.
ipullguard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some people don't want your herpes.
CosmicCheetos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting and belching.
Both are bodily functions and are quite hilarious to witness. I may just be childish but what's wrong with publicly ripping ass and releasing thunderous belches once in a while?
l0stinthought ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A guy who doesn't wash his hands after taking a piss. I shower every day, I wash myself well and I don't piss on my hands. I will make eye contact with you as I walk away from the urinal and straight out the door. YOLO.
majoroutage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I hear ya. I'm pretty confident my own junk is cleaner than any of those handles I just avoided touching.
l0stinthought ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Without a doubt. I always use my elbows to use the flush handle. I also use a loose part of my shirt to pull the door open. If it's a door I can push open I just push with my foot as I'm walking out.
MushroomMountain123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating horses, dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs, or whales.
Aiwatcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual relationships with people who are related to you, So long as its healthy and with consent between adults. I know in really close relatives, children can receive birth defects, which is why I think they shouldn't have kids, but shit-- its as dangerous to babies with mothers who are 45+ and there isn't nearly a such a reaction to that.
ZWQncyBkaWNr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public nudity. Especially if you're attractive.
tinman911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like to say hey to strangers, or compliment a shirt I like or thank the whole restaurant (busser, host, server.) I'll even yell out my car window if I think you need a nice word. My buddies and girlfriend all hate it. I just want to keep people from feeling as down as I do.
nintrader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. It's just efficient. Sure, blowing into a tissue can get some goop out, but there's usually a stubborn, crusty booger that has not only latched onto the inside wall of your nose, but made itself a part of your being. You could make a big spectacle of yourself honking loudly into a tissue as you futilely try to get it out the "clean way", or you could be a man and scoop it out in like 5 seconds.
callaghanrs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fatpeoplehate
multiplesifl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Trolling people. It's funny and the only reason people don't like it is because they are fuddyduddies.
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Funnyduddies!
imurdotme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking... I don't do it, haven't in four years... But it doesn't bother me in the least.
Second hand smoke seems like trumped up nonsense (especially if you've ever had to drive to work in LA), and I'm very bothered by the limits to which common sense is being stretched in the name of getting smokers out of sight.
If it bothers you, I say deal with it. Changing lanes without signaling seems far more offensive (not to mention potentially harmful), and I don't see a multimillion dollar anti-asshole campaign out there.
Jay28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks with sandals...its comfortable
dozerdaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
why not wear shoes
Jay28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's easier to take on and off your sandales
Rare_Element_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nose picking
BloodyNobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about bowel movements.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ric1live ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The way I see it, washing my hands after peeing isn't really because I was in the restroom, it's because of the day-to-day use of my hands. (doorknob, phone, tabletop, computer mouse, dead body, etc.)
64bitHustler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:54 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with that. I wash my hands after all those things. Truth be told, I actually am quite an avid hand-washer... After petting the dog, feeding the dog, anything with the dog, I wash my hands. In the course of preparing a meal I likely wash my hands 6-7 times. Any time I handle anything in the yard, I wash my hands. After the gym, touching all those barbells, dumbbells, and other machines....even though I have a 2K run back to my office followed by a shower, I still wash my hands in case my barbell-tainted germy hands make their way back up to my brow during my run. If anything I am an over-washer.
Therefore, I reject the premise that I need to wash them when I urinate.
bigantuan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Crying babies. It's a baby, give it a break
greenseertj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women walking around topless
StumbleOn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I dislike small talk. I don't want anyone to greet me when passing. I don't need to be smiled at while passing. I don't need to ever hear the question "how are you?" or similar. I prefer conversations to have basically nothing like a pleasantry. Hello is about as far as I go.
RayCoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
girls having hairy legs or vaginas. If you hair grosses you out go have sex with a dolphin. I mean if it gets to be a jungle it's a different story but if you want a nice bush go for it. But shave those armpits, we aren't Chimps anymore.
watsonyourear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if I'm on the phone having an important conversation, it shouldn't be so frowned upon to pay for gas, groceries, etc. at the same time. I understand and agree that it's rude to just yak it up while in the middle of a transaction, and I'm not saying I'm gonna take a call in all situations. But if my daughter, mother, girlfriend or work calls me while I'm paying for a burger, I'm going to answer.
Bratchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being engaged and not getting married right away... everyone like SO when the date!? It's called $$$ don't have it... we are perfectly fine right now.. unless you want to pay for it.
kunthunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "Oriental" instead of "Asian." I never once thought Oriental was a racist term; to me, it describes a regional feature of a select group of Asian countries.
Syntrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Having a sexual relationship with a
minor.edit: minority, sorry.
CaptainSmithers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wtf
mymomsaysilooksharp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking. It seems like most people in America look at smokers like they are spawn of the devil.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. That's true.
SubtleMockery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Necrophilia. I mean really, it is not hurting anyone. It's gross, but so are scat fetishes, and they're okay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm, not really.
SubtleMockery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I meant ethically.
23yr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breastfeeding in public. I did it for my daughter and never caught anyone staring at me sideways. Fiancรฉ said he saw a few people giving me dirty looks. I'm definitely glad I never saw them, I'd have flipped a table with one arm while continuing to hold my child in the other like a true warrior mom. Xina call
DigiDuncan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not swearing.
Me: What the fudge?
Anyone: Dude, you're ($age || in $location || with $group), you can say fuck.
Yeah? I'm not stopping you, maybe I just only reserve those words for situations that deserve them.
orkushun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Girls dressing slutty.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Furries
Every furry I've net was an asshole and a creep, but I never fault them for their fetishes
rinnip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never knowingly met a furry. Is this something that comes up often in your life?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Seattle is a diverse place.
measuredsharky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well I guess most of us don't make good impressions. >.<;
Trehosk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Putting hoes before Bros
measuredsharky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Incest. If you wanna bang your sister or brother or cousin/what have you. Go for it. Just use protection. With consent I don't mean go out and fuck your cousin or what have you without previous permission, that would be disgusting.
Also going out to dinner with another dude. What the hell is the problem? Can't two good friends eat a meal together?
RunsWithPremise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Offensive jokes. Racist, sexist, dead baby, rape, whatever. I am fine with all of them and I laugh at all of them.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mocking other people's shitty taste.
When you look down on people's tastes, people inevitably say "Those things are so subjective, though. It is all relative. Different strokes for different folks. Don't be a snob. It's all about what you get from the music. It's all about what each individual gets out of it."
Ok, that is partially true.
But if you tell me "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" is a better movie than "The Godfather", you are a fool and I should be allowed to say so. That is just plain incorrect.
You need to call a spade a spade.
Brianna-Girl ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 16:30:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Pedophilia.
Please hear me out before you down-vote.
There is a huge difference between a pedophile and a child-molester. A pedophile is someone who is sexually-attracted to pre-pubescent children, a child-molester is someone who molests children. Seems pretty basic, right?
We don't get to choose our sexualities, they're hard-wired. To me, being heterosexual, homosexual or a pedophile is the same principle: A hard-wired attraction to a certain type of person.
Now don't get me wrong, pedophilia is a very harmful desire and it's devastating since it can't be acted upon without harming children. I've talked personally with a few pedophiles who have all turned out to be lovely people, all of which would NEVER act upon their desires.
From what I've witnessed, many are depressed and on the verge of suicide because they have to live with the fact that they'll never be able to function in a relationship or act upon their harmful sexual desires and they'll never be able to be open about how they feel because of how demonized it is by society. They feel deeply ashamed and wish nothing more than to be rid of this awful affliction.
There's a huge difference between those who have taboo desires and those who choose to ACT upon them.
The human mind is a fucked up thing and many of us have very taboo fantasies within the confines of our own minds, but it's how we act that defines us as a person. Can you imagine how awful it would be if people had access to every intrusive thought or dark fantasy that entered our mind?
Pedophilia is just a desire, a sexuality. Child-molestation is evil, reprehensible and dangerous.
Coincidentally, the pedophiles I've spoken with are lovely people who would NEVER act upon their desires.
EDIT: To the people anonymously down-voting me... could you please specify a logical reason as to why? Besides an indoctrinated reflex to discriminate against pedophiles.
PM_ME_YOUR_BEST_IMG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:46:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have this opinion, but I'm always downvoted to hell.
Pedophiles can look at naked pictures of children to masturbate! I'm fine with that!
The only problem is when they act upon them.
I'll give you an upvote because I know that this is the actual unpopular opinion.
Brianna-Girl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:54:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well thank you!
Now when we get to the actual sexual stimuli, that's a controversial and complex topic.
Child pornography is evil and to engage in masturbating to it is harmful since you're indirectly exploiting and taking pleasure from the trauma and sexual-objectification of a prepubescent child. You're essentially engaging in sexually pleasuring yourself to harming children.
However, if one wanted to engage in artistically depicting pedophilia through drawing or simply indulging in the private fantasies within the confines of your mind, there's no harm in that and it's a legitimate sexuality, as unnatural and potentially harmful as it is.
It's an extremely controversial opinion because as soon as people hear the word "pedophilia", their ass clenches and they think of "child-rape".
What goes on within the mind stays within the mind and it's none of our concern to vilify those that're afflicted with unconventional desires. However, if acted upon, that's what defines a child-molester and that's what's fucking reprehensible.
SuminerNaem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with this. Pedophilia isn't inherently wrong, it's acting on it and harming children that's wrong. Of course fueling the child porn industry is harmful and wrong too, which is also awful. But someone who simply has the attraction but has no choice in that and actively acts against it is just a victim to this, I think.
Brianna-Girl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:58:07 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I completely agree. I think there's unnecessary discrimination and there's an indoctrinated reflex to just automatically HATE pedophiles without thinking about the situation.
My heart aches for those who have been unfairly afflicted with this unnatural and dangerous desire that they can never act upon.
I don't care what others have said, there ARE pedophiles that're perfectly safe and I even witnessed one who was good with children and he would NEVER harm or touch them in any way. They're not all automatically on the verge of rape. For some, it's just a fantasy in their mind that they can't act upon, but it doesn't take control of their mind, it's just something they'll never be able to do.
I've been lambasted, my comment heavily down-voted and it's fully what I expected. Hatred of pedophiles will never cease to exist because it is unnatural and it definitely and understandably hits a nerve, but I wish people would think about it rationally.
SuminerNaem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unnatural is the wrong word, since it is naturally occurring. "Immoral" is probably the more accurate word.
Brianna-Girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:26 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, perhaps. I simply meant that it deviates from the typical cycle of procreation: Being attracted to young, attractive members of the opposite sex in order to procreate and continue the human race.
A lot like homosexuality and other things being perhaps "unnatural". But I'm aware that much like homosexuality, pedophilia also naturally occurs, whether that be due to some environmental cause, an issue with neurological development or chemical imbalance, etc.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Brianna-Girl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:16:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not talking about either of those. I'm talking about the pedophiles who feel greatly distressed with their desires, not because they're difficult to control, but because they feel ashamed due to the social stigma. They feel profoundly distressed that they know they'll never be sexually or romantically fulfilled and that they have to conceal this part of their identity due to the immense shame it will bring them if revealed.
I'm not talking about the ones that lack self-control and are on the verge of raping children. Those are the ones that're as you said, a danger to society and they need to seek help immediately.
I feel sorry for the ones that're on the verge of suicide but have total self-control. Ones that're of no threat to children, but simply have these deep-seated desires but have to live with the fact that they will NEVER be able to fulfill themselves, it's devastating.
The pedophiles I'm talking about are NOT envious of child-molesters, as they're fully understanding that it's WRONG and they would NEVER want to harm a child, the thought makes them sick which further exacerbates their dysphoria, knowing that their desires are harmful. They don't look at a child-molester and think "Damn! Wish that was me.". It sounds like you have a misconception and you're unfairly stereotyping pedophiles.
The pedophiles I've spoken with feel disgusted by the thought of harming a child and are fully aware that it's WRONG. They're good people, they don't have ill intentions, they just have unconventional desires that can't be acted upon and as a result, they feel like killing themselves. You have a very narrow-minded view of pedophiles and you've crammed them all into one restrictive box as "Sick rapists" or "Sick wannabe rapists".
There are pedophiles that live productive lives and are valuable members of society. Hell, some are even good with and can be trusted around children! But can you imagine the distress of knowing that you'll NEVER be fulfilled emotionally or sexually? It's not a "Damn, I wish I was raping a child right now.", it's "I'll never be able to find love and sexually satisfy myself like a normal person.".
You sound extremely hateful and your mentality is identical to homophobia.
I'm not denying that many pedophiles are sick, evil individuals that need to be euthanized, but I'm saying that you can't stereotype and that there are beautiful people who happen to be conflicted and suicidal with these desires that they can't act upon. My heart aches for them and I feel worse hearing you talk about them with such heartlessness. I'm sure if it were up to you, you'd round them all up and cull them. You remind me a lot of a racist who thinks all black people act the same and you believe it with total conviction.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:41:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Brianna-Girl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:58:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They can't fucking help it! It's a mental affliction that's hard-wired into their brain and you're vilifying them for it.
You seem so narrow-minded and so similar to a homophobic/racist, it's disgusting.
Here's hoping you give birth to a child who's a pedophile so you can stop being such a disgusting asshole about a legitimate sexuality and actually try to understand that they're not all the same and so you can realize that some of them are real people with feelings, emotions and not just evil monsters that lurk in the dark. Your feelings have been totally painted by the media.
THEY CAN'T HELP IT. Imagine not being able to ever find romantic or sexual fulfillment and being doomed to spending the rest of your life alone. It's not "pathetic".
It's just as "pathetic" as a gay man living in the middle east having to live with the fact that he'll never be romantically/sexually-fulfilled because of the vilification of being with a man. Would you call that pathetic?
Your view is so blinkered with hatred and disgust, you keep labeling their distress as "I'm sad because I can't fuck a child." when the pedophiles I'm talking about feel more along the lines of "I'm sad because I'll never find fulfillment.". That IS upsetting and if I knew I could never ever find fulfillment, I'd be devastated, that doesn't make me pathetic.
What you're saying is identical to the principle of: "All blacks are uncivilized monkeys, no exceptions.".
connstar97 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 16:52:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to have sex with prepubescent children, you should be dead.
Brianna-Girl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:39:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's an identical mentality to "If you want to have sex with the same gender, you should be dead."
It's not their fault they're afflicted with these unconventional, taboo desires. They can be good people who live productive, happy lives and not act upon this desire.
I have sexual desires but I don't feel automatically compelled to rape people just to act upon them. There is such thing as self-control. There is also such thing as conflicted pedophiles who choose to seek medical help. To wish DEATH upon those that acknowledge the detriment of their harmful sexual desires and seek help don't deserve vilification, it's admirable and it's devastating.
connstar97 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even close to the same, consenting adults can do whatever in their bedroom or other acceptable place. Have multiple partners even but if you want to have sex with children and it cant be cured you should be in prison for life... But thats a waste of money and these people are scum to want to do sexual acts with children. Any fetish is good whatever and i font care about same sex relations at all, i got a few close friends who are gay.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:31 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah except gay sex doesnt hurt children, i cant believe reddit is okay with people who have any desire to have sex with children. Their is something wrong with their brain and if they cant be cure they shouldnt exist, let it be clear im talking about Prepubescent children, innocent kids that would be forever damaged by any kind of exposure to this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No because gay people dont abuse children, if you are a peadophile your sexual focus is on children and that is wrong
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:18:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So your telling me you have no problem with child sexual abuse?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im an existentialist so i was abuse isnt an excuse to abuse another little kid, this isn based of social norms for me its that i know whats right or wrong, if i had anything to do with one of these people some not so nice things would be befalling them, revenge for he children who have had their lives ruined, peadophiles must be removed from this earth
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can openly talk about many issues i disagree with but peadophilia is not one, i cant believe you could defend someone who wants to take advantage of a child sexually, you disgust me. If there was a child abuse in my neighbourhood i would joina lynch mob to et him out, rape and peadophilia are the worse crimes a human being can commit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:56 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im sure rape porn is great and i am totally fine with that a it is consensual in reality
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, why would i listen to someone who thinks child abuse is okay, and sexual at that!? You sir are a loser to think this and the bulk of society would agree. PEOPLE WHO SEXUALLY ABUSE CHILDREN SHOULD BE DEAD
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone confesses to me they have interest in children, i would challenge them to a physical fight and beat their ass down or inform the police so they can find the evidence they need to arrest this person
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No i said i would fight ad hurt a peadophile, are you sir a peadophile? Im a big young man and im strong so i would certainly use it to help rid the world of people who hurt children
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:42 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thats pretty fucked to joke around about but no, i was taught from a young age how wrong this is and you need to talk to your kids about it to prevent it and know how to deal with it if it happens. Sexual abuse isnt a joke so idk why you tried to make that funny. I have zero empathy to someone who hurts a child
jihiggs ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the good old days...
epicpotatofantasy ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Most pedophiles agree.
bex914 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Confederate Flag. Really don't care. It's people looking for a reason to bitch that are the problem.
Also don't really care about most Politically incorrect stuff. The USA is becoming a land of whiny little girls. People that get offended by stuff that doesn't even apply to them is dumb
damngoodreid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't bother you that people willingly and knowingly fly a flag that's associated with a war fought over someone's right to own someone else?
KingNashII ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:11:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I couldn't give less of a shit about using somebody else's toothbrush
Dont____Panic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:02:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm. This is the only one I actually disagree with. I recall running into some research to indicate that the bacteria sharing involved in using someone else's toothbrush isn't super good for your dental health.
maz-o ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
could or couldn't?
KingNashII ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:40:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ah fuck, not again. Edited
Banter725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why people would down vote you for answering the exact question. You're cool with doing this and very few others here are. Arguably this is the most on point answer.
DoubleWatson ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being late. I'm not so selfish as to think I'm the most important thing going on in your life at a time.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:33:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Habitual lateness is kills me. I won't make a big deal out of it, but if every time I hang out with you I am sitting at the restaurant waiting for you for an hour I'm probably going to stop inviting you, and I'll probably stop it taking you up on your invitation.
Aroha11 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind people being late either.
Brodogmillionaire1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breakup via text message. If 60% of your communication in a relationship is through a medium with heavy emoji use, why on earth should you have to change that when you're breaking up with me anyway?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it shows respect for the other person. Because they can see how you feel and see whether you're lying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what if you lose respect for that person and dont care and want to cut them out of your life? breaking up is breaking up. it should be more formal, but im not going to go out of my way to give this person the time of day. i wont hesitate to do it over social media either if the person is sketchy or abusive.
Brodogmillionaire1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never really have been offended when it happened to me. Meh.
BlackIrishman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:28:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cat-calling. I definitely say things a normal man would get arrested for. Being a male model helps.
Kitosaki ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:52:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Men getting paid more than women.
Go ahead, call me a shitlord who needs to 'check his privilege' but I don't know how married people are supposed to raise children without one person being the bread winner. There is a lot of biological responsibility as a woman (breast feeding, 9 months of carrying a child, the first few years of a child's life...) that women can do. A family, that now has 50% of it's income potential completely down, now needs to have a way to pay for it. Don't sugar coat it and tell me that the maternity leave is enough. Kids need parental love and a full time parent, or at least someone who is around to make sure food is cooked, house is prepared, etc.
Edit: "What socially unacceptable things are you OK with?" = Downvote me for my unpopular opinion. Thanks, reddit.
Bossmang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Ok so I would counter with a few points: (And for the record, I am a man and would love to make extra $ for my time, haha)
-In this 'new world' men and women would share in workload at home as well. It is absolutely possible to raise a child, while maintaining the house, and cooking, AND working. It's possible for a single father to do, or a single mother. It's not easy but child rearing really isn't meant to be. Preferably, if the parents are still married, both share in the work at home as well as office work. As for the maternity leave, I honestly think the best answer is simply to plan for a child. Children cost a lot of money, one way or the other. In fact the majority of the cost of a child probably won't even happen as an infant -it'll hit when they get to college age (if they do decide to go to college). All of this takes planning by the parents.
-I don't think kids need parents around 24/7, or even 8 hours a day. Eventually kids have school anyways so what does the mother (who I assume would be staying home in this situation) do during this time in a child's life?
-Of course, women who do equal work...really do deserve equal pay. This makes 100% sense in my book simply by taking a look at the fact that you have two people who do the exact same thing...why pay one more than the other? Plus the salary differential makes no sense considering if the women lost the hours that you are talking about (carrying the baby, taking care of the child) they make less anyways simply from fewer hours. Who makes up those hours? Potentially men can make up those hours and you can have slightly higher salaries that way.
-Honestly (and this is where I put in my controversial opinion) a lot of societies that have equal working opportunities for women are also developed societies aka first world nations. Population control can be a huge problem in these nations and using this monetary limit as a potential soft cap to the number of children a family can AFFORD to have might literally work towards maintaining a stable and educated population for the future.
Kitosaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, I do agree with pay equity (eg: we're both managers in the same business, with the same time in the job - our base pay should be equal)
I don't think that it should affect merit based pay (eg: my district did 60% more sales than your district) or promotion eligibility. If I am better at my job than you are, because I am a man, I should not be discriminated against.
Kitosaki ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:00 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
I am not against equal work, equal pay... But there are just a lot of movements that are just like "derp dur, pay womens moar" and they keep using rhetoric and talking points (77/100 cents...) when they don't take into account a lot of women simply don't go for higher paying jobs due to other things in their lives (my wife had to leave her job when I moved, for example - she was up for promotion and actually doing well)
Sorry I'm responding on mobile and I don't like typing. I appreciate your response and I do agree with most of your points, I just don't see how paying a head of household (man or woman) more for having a family hurts people who are getting paid less.
roflocalypselol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:48:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Judging people based on their culture and religion. Your beliefs are essential to your character. There's nothing wrong with being discriminating about it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:45:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Eating dog meat
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:06:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading, using proper English, not showing more skin than absolutely necessary, abstaining from partying, not explaining idiocies with the ridiculous acronym: YOLO, using condoms, and being republican.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:53:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Body hair on a woman. Including the mustache.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disagreed.
That shit is repulsive.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's your opinion. I think making people believe waging war will bring peace is repulsive.
ishgardianscrub ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:18:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
bad language in public, I literally don't give a fuck how people talk, stop fucking staring when I say fuck you fucking prudes
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
measuredsharky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck is wrong with you?
GinjaSnap89 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 14:41:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about poop/vomit while eating a meal... I don't see why this bothers so many people.
Turbulator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In the last few years, If I think about poop/vomit while eating, my food doesn't taste very good anymore. I recall a time when I browsed 4chan a lot and was desensitized to gore/nasty stuff in general. Back then I could talk about anything and not lose my appetite, but no longer. I understand not all people care, but some of us have weaker stomachs.
Louiecat ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:54 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fat girls walking around in public with their fat hanging out.
fleshtrombone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wait so you're against this or for this?
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 13:56:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheKandyCinema ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:14:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't agree with you there on that one.
tforce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:41 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand we'll be right back after a message from our sponsors.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:50:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hebo07 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:44:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How is this relevant in this thread
PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So smooth. Bourbon? Fuck that unless it's over 150 proof.
Fbach ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:36:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fat Shaming.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
foreverinLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But you wouldn't would you?
Sarahthelizard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:38:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But... You wouldn't!
pickban ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:34 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
public farting. Meh.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Ooer
I didn't know what was happening and I manages to make a post and it got 400
upbopsupvotesCaptainFiddler ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insest
blp0105marina ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boys playing with girls though they have girlfriends.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Young people, homeless people and old people should be given a partial pass for shoplifting.
Occasionally shoplifting is part of being young. It's odd if it doesn't happen.
Give the kids a break.
greenclipclop ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:28:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being a regular marijuana smoker and operating a vehicle while high.
whitefox00 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:00:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking on the phone during checkout at the store. As long as you get it done timely (get your card or cash out, etc) I don't give a damn.
Foormeli ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:44:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting in public, it's a normal bodily function. Yet we act like no one does it.
UsernameTakenRetry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:03:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
RemindMe! 4 hours
paranoidcitizen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:05:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Torture of child molesters, rapists, murderers, etc.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:20:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose. SOMETIMES IT'S THE ONLY WAY DON'T JUDGE ME.
Sanpan21 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:20:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men wearing women's clothes, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
Aegis_Holder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:41:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a burger house over the weekend and I put my almost 9 month old on the table in front of me. My brother-in-law freaked out, saying how uncool it was to do so, and that it was a socially unacceptable thing to do - it's gross for the next patron to eat where the baby sat. I thought it was ridiculous, but if it is in fact a socially unacceptable thing to do, then it's something I'm fine with as I will do that again!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:47:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Questioning authority.
Merciless1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:51:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hit 'disable inbox replies' on EVERY reddit post I make. Submission/Comment/Whatever. Really enhances my reddit experience not having to listen to you people.
Joker12347 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:55:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For me I'm okay with pretty much anything at the Dinner table. Dirty Jokes, Burping, Farting, Etc.
bluemoosy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:57:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've up-voted more comments in this thread than I ever have in my entire life.
joewindetc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:07:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. We all do it; who gives a fuck?
My wife. My wife does when I fart in public.
iamaiamscat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:33 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sending out thank you cards. No thanks.
rocknroll1343 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Burning/desecrating national flags. Really though people should burn the US flag out of love for the USA. Where else can you burn the flag willy nilly and not even have to pay a fine? That's what freedom is. Fuck everyone who wants to make it a crime. Idiots get sooooo hung up on a fucking symbol.
Also nationalism sucks too.
njgreenwood ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:01:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Per the Flag Code for the United States: "(k) The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning."
rocknroll1343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:43 on July 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know that, I meant in protest
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:40:57 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Litter.
UrNotFly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs are pretty cool.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:12:45 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "please" or "could you give me the...'. People get pissed of at me for saying " Give me the x". Man, seriously, just give it to me and I will say "thank you". Especially when it's work and they actually have to give me the item.
sillysauages ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
manners cost nothing
knm19 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:21:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Friends takings my food
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:40:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cancelling plans last minute
decaydence ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:50:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not talking.
Zniped ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:33:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking in the car if the windows are down, my passengers always make a big deal of asking me. When i'm lit up before you and not giving a shit, its a green light.
johnnycashteam ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:42:51 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Biting my friends.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:49:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like, everything, I hate the concept of most social norms.
fettynofap ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not asking how the person is who just asked you how you are.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:11:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Violating personal space. As long as they aren't breathing into your mouth, what's it matter?
Mac_drevious ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:12 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
drugs and everything else fun
The_Dethaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:15 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems like not doing that shit is starting to become more socially unacceptable, but then again I probably shouldn't use Reddit as a source of information on that subject.
zapitron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm ok with it, then it's only subjectively socially unacceptable at worst.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:12:17 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shoes are dumb
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:16:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nudity. As I grow older, I don't really see what's the big deal that people make over it. We sexualized ourselves too much.
KevinR91 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:26:04 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Surprised nobody said this, I know a bunch of people who enjoy it. Making fun of fat people.
BIC3PS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:57:05 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making fun of people.
lurkylurlyloo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:01:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People being rude or crude is just a part of tolerating liberty. I'm personally ok with people doing anything they want as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. In fact I would like to see more public drug orgies and random naked people on fart powered motor scooters.
emcee_paz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Using your phone in a restaraunt. So you can talk to someone with you but not someone not with you. That's dumb.
PumpkinSeed ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:27:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boobs.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:34:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
literally all of them outside of somebody stabbing me or throwing poop on me
paulfromatlanta ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:36:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Origin? I don't know but it was popularized in Heidi -
Elbows off the table, Fingers off the food
they were trying to teach urchins manners.
Abyssalia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:42:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People showing affection in public. I wouldn't care if people had sex in the same room as me.
jermzdeejd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Giving your kid an ass slapping in public.....little fucks have to be reminded of their place in the world.
Slipping_Jimmy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:09:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Period sex, doesn't bother me at all.
JakeMcChilders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Towel your schlong off after and have a round 2 in the shower I dont mind it haha
bigedthebad ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not washing your hands after you go to the bathroom, not for people in food handling and stuff but the general populace.
I remember when incessant hand washing was a sign of mental illness.
goekster ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:26:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying bless you after a sneeze. My heart didn't stop, I didn't get possessed by the destroyer of worlds, I did nothing worthy of a blessing.
All a "bless you" does is make me say "thank you," especially infuriating when I think the whole thing is a load of barnacle.
fluffykitty12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This actually originated during the Bubonic Plague- people who saw someone sneeze feared they'd come down with the plague, so they'd say 'god bless you' in the hopes that god would protect them from the plague.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:29:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it won't hurt anyone, I'm okay with it.
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:53 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldnt have said it better myself
dirnetgeek ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:50:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Supporting Climate Change.
HappyLeigh_EverAfter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:56:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i am completely okay with body hair, esp on females. when it became "required" for a woman to be hairless (pits, pubes or both) in order to be considered normal, attractive, or acceptable, i was completely turned off. trying to look prepubescent is sick.
Kiritoh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:57:01 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
ButtSexington3rd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:13:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting. I'm not getting a stomachache for you. I won't fart at the dinner table/while you're eating, but in general, fuck it. Especially if we're outdoors.
NiggyNoggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:17:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
im laregly uncomortable with anything non-white. id go further but why bother ill lose face instantly..
wiebraj ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:40:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I try to use the word "cunt" as many times as possible in any conversation. I'm okay with that.
sgujral724 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:41:36 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing in public
originalpoopinbutt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:51:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting out loud. Scratching your buttcrack. Wearing socks or shoes that don't match. Holes in clothes. Not making the bed or setting a table "properly". Talking to yourself.
Honestly everyone's lives would improve significantly if we abandoned "etiquette" that is purely ritual. I understand some etiquette, I understand why you should say please and chew with your mouth closed, it's about people's feelings, and their comfort. I don't understand why we continue to insist that it matters that elbows are on the table or someone holds their fork in their left hand while eating. These things do. not. matter.
The same goes for things that everybody does but we have to pretend we don't, like farting and talking to yourself.
romanssworld ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:53:06 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Getting cheated on,getting physically abused,and doing drugs
If any of those things happen its for good reason imo i don't have much in general so it wouldnt surprise me if shit happens to me
CiphirSol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:58:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs... most if not all of them
Tonerrr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:58:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a piss in the shower. Sorry but it's happening.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:58:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty stuck up but I don't mind loud belching or saying you have to use the restroom.
skinnyfatty1987 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:05:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cursing
Mirrorflute88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:08:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shaming fat people
SwagSea ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:14:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When people chew their food loudly. Just eat it; I don't care or pay attention to stuff, although most people notice it and are annoyed right away.
innovateauch ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:16:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
smoking pot
txdahlia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:18:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Abortion, death sentences, killing all pedophiles, rapists, murderers - the hell with reform and life sentences, drug testing and mandatory jobs for welfare recipients, mandatory sterilization for those with a proven history of severe mental or psychiatric impairment, and those on welfare who have more kids while on welfare. Toilet Paper and water should be free!
Jing-fong ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:20:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public transportation masturbation
Cantora ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:24:48 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
reducing free speech. I think the world would be a better place if people who didn't conform to Ethical Relativism were silenced.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:30 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Gay incest. I mean the primary reason that incest is illegal and taboo in society is the fact the siblings who co produce a child together , the higher the chance that the child will suffer from some of genetic disability. Gays cannot produce children , so why is gay incest illegal ?
nilok1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Laws against incest are meant to prevent inbreeding and the increased risk of birth defects. However, like you pointed out, that's not really a possibility with gay incest. So, other than the "ick-factor" there really isn't any reason.
And we shouldn't pass laws banning things solely b/c some people find them icky.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:19 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly bruh. I might find that 2 same sex siblings engaging in sexual activity to be icky or gross however I do find it acceptable from due to the fact that its their choice and they are not harming anyone
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Does that EVER happen?
I've never heard of a man platonically cuddling another man. Not unless they were camping, were stuck in sub-zero weather and needed to sleep together for warmth and survival. Only in life-or-death situations do men share beds.
Same for women with women.
Same for males and females. If they were sharing a bed and not fucking, they were 4 years old.
Adults do not share beds.
Euclid_C_Finder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:24 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As a man, I have shared a bed with another buddy on multiple occasions. We're not gay. We didn't fuck or cuddle. Neither of us wanted to sleep on the damn floor.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
But the OP said she/he wants platonic cuddling as an adult. If I read him/her correctly.
I have never heard of such a thing. Such a thing doesn't exist, most likely.
elihu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:20:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Socks and sandals.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is hideous. That should be banned.
lovere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:22:09 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't fucking hold the door for me when I'm walking behind you when we approach the door, cause then I gotta speed up my pace since you're holding it, just go. I didn't forget how to open doors since i entered the store...
Edit: I'm obviously a retarded introvert
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:18:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Driving 15-20 miles over the speed limit.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hating on SJWs and hating "protected classes".
DannielGM ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:52:28 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
no visual contact and not saying please or thank (in most occasions). I don't have any problem with people that talk to me and it's seeing some other thing (basically cuz I do the same) and saying please or thanks in every occasion even when it's obvious it's kind of bothering so I forget to do it some times and don't even notices when people do it
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
d_smogh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:27:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Conservation.
'If its brown, flush it down. If it's yellow let it mellow.'****
You should get this sign to hang over your toilet.
erekt_penis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:02:22 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not wearing underwear. I gotta breathe down there.
siderinc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:10:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Talking shit about my mother. I really dont care what you think. I love my mom but if you like to talk shit about her go right ahead. She doesn't need me to defend her honor from some stranger whom she doesn't know or cares about.
Dawn_Of_The_Dave ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:13:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I eat in restaurants on my own and couldn't care less. I drink in bars by myself and couldn't care less. I talk to strangers regularly. If I need to adjust my junk in public, I shall. I have zero Idea what I should do with my life. I have never made a secret of how much I'm getting paid, I have told co-workers before their appraisals.
In short I think I do virtually everything in this thread and I'm sure I'm regarded as a perfectly acceptable member of society. I really don't think people care what others do quite as much as you may imagine.
fdsa4321lbp22 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:14:27 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing
Iouis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:31:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not washing my hands after I pee. I don't even touch anything so why should I even bother?
RNAPII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:58 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is fecal contamination on your junk that will get on your hands. If you're just at home, whatever, but if you are dealing with a lot of people it's just the safest thing to do.
John_Miles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:10:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Nudity and the natural human form. Life's great leveler is spending at least a small time each year going about a normal day without your kit on. Gender issues vanish. Women who are no longer chained to the razor and make-up get to relax and blossom into who they really are; instead of having to look prepubescent all the time (morally indefensible). Everyone gets a tan. No lines. You are accepted for who you are. Total equality across race, religion and gender. It sets you up for the year.
Cats are different colours. Humans are like cats. Wonderfully diverse Cats.
BATMANSCOOP ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:44:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Picking your nose and then eating it
Faranae ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:47:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory/multiple partners. And not just because I'm polyamorous.
Before I'd even discovered what Polyamory was, I always found it odd how people would see someone being affectionate with someone who wasn't their primary partner and scream "SCANDAL!". Like really. Love is love, so long as all parties involved know what's going on, what the hell does it matter?
Every time I see one of those "I think my partner has feelings for someone else" posts I just want to scream "SO?" at them. Just because they have a flutter for someone else doesn't mean they love you any less...
I have several busybodies in my building who I've heard churning the rumor mill about me. They old biddies can't even wait until I'm fully out of earshot either. Downright rude.
"Oh, you know her husband works so hard to provide for her and the baby, and she has men over when he leaves for work at night!"
"The other day I saw her come home holding hands with that bearded fellow who's always coming over. I think she's cheating on her husband!"
"That's nothing, she was making out with a different guy entirely when he dropped her off in front of the building. I saw it with my own two eyes!"
And that's usually followed by "someone should tell her husband".
My husband and I laugh about it. He really wants one of them to confront him about it so he can casually confirm and watch their faces go red.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:05:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buying homeless people booze.
If you won't do it, they might rob a store to get liquor.
Getting them alcohol is doing them a kindness. She/He's addicted anyhow.
You are giving him/her the shit that stops him/her from going into withdrawal.
It really is the lesser of two evils.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:17:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breaking rules when those rules make no sense.
I'm totally OK with that.
joshi13 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:22:03 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Insect homicide/genocide/necrophilia
ViveLeMort ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:30 on July 24, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest.
baconborn ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 00:24:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fat shaming. You let yourself become overweight because of your own life choices. You're a giant tub of lard and honestly I think you should feel bad about it. I'm not going to call you "beautiful" if I think you are not. I'm not one to celebrate mediocrity
SapphireRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:15 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but some people have disorders (not eating related- I mean hormonal or others) that result in a lot of weight gain. Others might be trying to lose it, but are struggling, or are currently on the right path to losing it. Definitely agree about not having to say they look amazing, though.
dengh ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The confederate flag. I get the racial implications, but it has plain historical meaning.
LouieDude ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incest, pedophilia. Bestiality. I don't really care what people do honestly. I don't have to do it. So its whatever.
fatogato ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:10:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People cheating on each other. It happens all the time. Get over it.
If someone cheats on you and you don't like it, that's the best reason to find someone else.
Humans weren't made to be monogamous.
(Flame suit on)
Cunt_zapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:55 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I had to sort by controversial to find this answer. I was going to post it, otherwise.
I don't cheat. I would prefer that my SO not cheat on me, for various reasons. And I know people who have had infidelity destroy relationships.
The thing I don't agree with is people (especially on reddit) who condemn anyone who cheats as an immoral degenerate who deserves to have their teeth kicked in.
I know people who have cheated and they're otherwise good people. I don't really respect them any less just for what they did. I might not date them, but I don't look down upon them from my high horse the way others seem to. You don't always know the situation that people are in, and really, it is probably not any of your business.
Toepeka ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 14:22:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
murder
Edit: i did nazi these downvotes coming. wtf guys. (upvote me please i need my comment karma to go up or i get banned)
NoHobbo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:03:46 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hey, Toepeka, you should try to make a good post for once if you want your comment karma to go up. Just share a good vid in some niche porno subreddit or something. People upvote that shit like crazy.
Sincerely, A huge fan of your shit posts.
bacon-is-sexy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:05 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is a really good way to get downvoted.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The confederate flag.... I'm a civil war buff.
wirsteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then you would know it is not technically the confederate flag :)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flags_of_the_Confederate_States_of_America
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I know the difference.
Technically it IS a flag of the confederacy. It's the battle flag, used in every battle they ever fought - the stars and stripes had the same meaning as our contemporary American flag - its just a smaller version of the official flag. They didn't want to be caring a huge flag into battle like the Union so they condensed it to that smaller square type.
I really think more people should watch Ron Maxwells "Gettysburg" and "Gods & Generals" it really shows the other side of the coin when it comes to all the negativity regarding the different sides of the Civil War.
connstar97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was not in even close to every battle they fought, it wasnt the first confederate flag, or the second, or the 3rd. It started in the confederate navy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:21 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, most of the major battles: Gettysburg (all 3 days), Little Round Top, Antietam, Fredericksburg etc they took that flag into battle. The navy flag was hardly used, it was white and had the stars and bars to the corner, they then added the red to the end of the flag because Yankee soldiers kept mistaking it for a truths flag.
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes i am aware of that but you said all and you are totally wrong in that account
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:53 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The early days of the war I would have to say they were using Gen. Lees headquarters flag, it looked strikingly similar to the original Betsy Ross flag - it also confused soldiers to what side it represented during battle. The battle flag was used 90% of the time. And I'm going to stand by my statement of it being an official flag, because it is. Wikipedia doesn't have all the facts, sorry.
I don't expect redditors to agree with me here, you don't live and breath that era, you're not passionate about that time in history, hence, its easy to turn that flag into a hate symbol and just jump on the bandwagon like most Americans now.
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't informed by wikapedia my friend, you are wrong i have taken multiple history course (in high school, yes go ahead and make a comment that its high school ha ha) but i have been told these facts multiple times and researched myself, you are partially wrong, however what you said about the first flag is correct
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alright man. Cheers.
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah same bro
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:12:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a World War II buff, but I don't want a swastika on my state flag.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:38 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Nazi party was responsible for human genocide. Huge difference. I could always be that guy and say that the Swastika is an ancient symbol, stolen and twisted. But I guess that's irreverent just like the CSA flags now. Too bad.
blackmantle ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:27 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racism is seen by many as the ultimate evil, but to me it is more of an obscure hobby that you only talk about with your closest friends.
PM_ME_CASH ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not giving black people a free pass on the race card.
The2500 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:23 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Necrophilia and grave robbing. Literally victimless crimes. I don't do them myself, but the way people act you'd think they're worse than rape and actual robbery.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:44 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So if your mom died and wanted to be buried with her wedding ring you would have absolutely no problem with somebody digging up your mom's grave, stealing her ring, and then fucking her corpse?
The2500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:16 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Presumably I'd be ignorant of the event, so yeah. If the person announced it and made it public knowledge I might take umbrage with that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:34 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You also would not be ignorant of the event. Gravekeepers exist and they would alert you, the next of kin, to the desecration. So, do you now realize that you were acting like an idiot in your previous post?
The2500 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:21 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that grave keeper was just being an asshole. What is the point of telling me, what's accomplished? Maybe if you're a fucking idiot and believe in shit like spirit mediums I could hire an angel hitman.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:17:47 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because your mother's corpse was just raped, you fucking dolt.
The2500 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:29 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If my MOM was raped, I'd be bothered, but her corpse? There's nothing there to experience trauma. Who cares?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So, free pass to just up and rape your mom's corpse whenever?
The2500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What would be wrong with that? All you're doing is making appeals to emotion. If you're going to make a case, you may as well make a case why we should feel bad for a refrigerator that gets raped. I mean, yeah, technically it can't consent.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is also nothing wrong with making appeals to emotion. I assume you're a human and not some fucking robot, so you have emotions. Or are you some edgelord who thinks they're "2logical4emotions"?
The2500 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:29:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is, there's a time and place for emotions. A living person you care about, yes. An unfeeling corpse that could not possibly give a fuck about anything? No.
TimRattayGotScrewed ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:16 on July 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Men hitting women. Women can deserve it, too. They're not these perfect little angels that are soft, delicate, and belong frolicking in a field with pretty flowers. In fact, women deserve to be hit more often than men, I think. They're so obnoxious.
crrime ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:32:46 on July 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sounds fair
sorta specific, but true..
.....aaaand, it's gone
xsparr0w ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:54:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Being blatantly anti-feminism and owning a #Meninist shirt (as a female). The looks I get are priceless
Aroha11 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:15:50 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are countries where you can be jailed for being raped ('adultery by force'), unless you marry your rapist. In other countries women are sometimes denied chemotherapy when they are pregnant, and they die. In my country of origin (Poland) a woman was forced to give birth to a child with no brain, because the doctors didn't think abortion was moral. And you think you are being clever.
xsparr0w ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not clever, just egalitarian (which doesn't cater towards females) and, not sure if you are American or still in Poland, but here in America, feminists are by and large very biased, radical, and closed-minded man haters who don't care for equality so much as favoritism towards their own ideals (which are often skewed). I don't wish to identify with a group that intend to victimize themselves to further their own agendas.
For example, i'll jump on board if they start to recognize the blatant bias and sexism in American divorce courts regarding alimony and child support (as just one minuscule example). But until they strive for true equality, i'll never identify as a feminist.
Aroha11 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:56:39 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am a Polish woman who lives in the UK. Recently, a nine year old girl was denied abortion in Poland (which is against the law, which - in theory - allows abortion in a case of rape), and there were other women who died or lose their sight, because their health problems were not honoured and they were forced to carry their pregnancies to term. Also, many women get fired the minute they get pregnant, so the employer doesn't have to pay for their maternity leave. This is against the law, but no one cares. I would like to know how would you feel in a place like this, knowing your life doesn't matter.
The disregard for fathers' right (common in Poland) stems from the same way thinking - that children are female issue, and only women should bear the responsibility. I don't know if you know this, but the battle for fathers' right is actually a feminist agenda, and all female court bias is considered anti-female.
xsparr0w ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When you use examples where equality simply doesn't exist, then yes, I agree that that treatment is grossly unjust and needs reform. When people's lives are at stake, and bodily autonomy is not allowed, then you are correct in every way; I would feel like my life doesn't matter. No one should feel that way.
However, the United States are a different story and what the women are fighting for, I cannot agree with. I won't go into every single detail, and some of feminists as a whole are the "good" kind; the kind that want to be treated as equals in society and be able to govern their own bodies (which, fortunately, we are largely able to do). Abortions are not yet outlawed, we have access to many forms of birth control, and we are allowed bodily autonomy (for now).
When I say fighting for things I cannot agree with, I speak of the many feminists that give the minority of them a bad name. Those are the ones that essentially blame men for their troubles. I don't need feminism because I am capable of co-habitating with men and not having to emasculate them to make myself feel big. I define my own standards as a human being and don't need a group of misguided individuals to fight anything on my behalf. I respect men and don't blame them for my problems. I understand we were NOT created equals.
My self worth is not tied to my victim complex.
When our country starts to resemble that of Poland (as well as many other European and middle eastern countries), then it gives us something to truly fight for. Until then, I am satisfied being a WOMAN while men are allowed to be MEN. If that makes me a criminal, then i'm fucked.
No1eFan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"In America, feminists are by and large very biased, radical, and closed-minded man haters who don't care for equality so much as favoritism towards their own ideals (which are often skewed)."
Generalization much?
xsparr0w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People make generalizations about a lot of things. They weren't always so radical, but times change and so do agendas.
Yamayamauchiman ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:23 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saying offensive things. Words like nigger only get their strength from stupid people who assign value to them. And no, nobody should be offended by the term for slave, since nobody and nobodies living family members have ever been a slave. Being black doesn't mean you have any relation to slavery outside of your skin colour and people who might have been your past past family. Even so, just saying fuck you in response should suffice.
TeggyDA ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:31:18 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pregnant women smoking. I work with 2 pregnant women who smoke and Jesus Christ everyone has to make a comment about it, I swear I'm the only one who defends them every time someone says something. I didn't realize how many people were against it to the point they had to gossip about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:35 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think some people are too strict about what they do while pregnant but you really think they should be smoking?
TeggyDA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:40 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they should be but if they were smokers, they tried to quit, they can't quit, it's none of my business to go and gossip about it. Many of our parents smoked while pregnant with us and we are healthy. I guess I'm more okay with it because my mom smoked with all 4 kids and none of us have health problems. I'm not saying that health problems don't happen and whatever but I just think people need to find other things to worry about.
CaptainReginaldLong ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Swearing - I don't believe there exists a combination of letters that is inherently "bad," these words are useful and should be exercised. Of course I understand we have colloquially dubbed these words, "bad" and there's this tension when theyre used in social situations where one would think them not be used, but I think that's bullshit. What the fuck is your problem with those words? We all just think they're bad because we keep deciding they are. Stop it humans...stop it...
KustomZero ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:47 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Public sex
tgosubucks ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:09 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gay people
White_Thundur ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Choking women during sex
epicpotatofantasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:16 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If they like it
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:56 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Breaking a car window ...
... if it frees an animal or child from a hot car
join_my_militia ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:36 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jerking off to facebook
Gintsama ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes about Stereotypical things, calling friends an autist, retard (We do it to each other), making jokes about horrible events such as 9/11, aushwitz, jews, etc. Making society jokes about SJWs, genders, etc. Farting as long as it's not inside around people I don't know.
DatNewbChemist ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Offensive Halloween costumes. Don't get me wrong, there are lines drawn and some things are just waaaay too far and in bad taste (I've seen a few "Boston Marathon Victim"s and that's just too much). But if somebody want's to dress as Bill Cosby and do black face, I don't see too much wrong with that (be respectful, he is (was) a respected individual of that race and you're just emulating him). Conversely, if a black man wanted to do "white face" and dress up like Anderson Cooper or something, I say more power to him. Just don't do the offensive stereotyping and all is okay in my book.
And hell, I've secretly wanted to dress as a Nazi officer for Halloween for years and years, but feel like I can't. I don't see why (I mean, I do see why, but still) people are A-okay with dressing as a zombie army soldier, as a meth dealing Walter White, as a serial killer, as a prison inmate, a pirate, or a viking - but the Nazi soldier is no good. There are casualties of war, there are meth dealer, there are pointless killers, there are rapists and murders in prison, pirates attacked and killed innocent trade ships and did horrible things to the captured crew, and vikings raped and pillaged villages. Yes, the Nazis were bad. But if the above is okay, then I think my costume is okay.
Cyrino420 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The confederate flag.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:48 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's socially unacceptable because people don't agree on what it symbolises. It's totally ok to have it in your home, but where people who think it's racist can see it? Not so much
DeathzEmbrace ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:28 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racism
StayFrostyIcebrgSlim ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
StayFrostyIcebrgSlim ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:49 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
artu165 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:06 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Homosexuality aka people loving other people.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:52 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Punching my girlfriend in public (I'm a man). I've never hit anybody in anger in my entire life, but we can get playfully violent and sometimes we'll playfully punch or slap each other. I'm just waiting for the day some chivalrous person comes up and tells me never to lay a hand on the weaker sex.
Perry_cox29 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Defecting to the colonial power in the midst of a revolution with the intent to turn the tide against the colonies with vital information.
giant_bug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:37 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, Benedict.
Marcusaralius76 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:25 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shoving ice cubes up your butt
jo-ha-kyu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Viewing/possession of lolicon, zoophilia material, "yiff" and CP, pedophilia, some forms of bestiality, open ephebophilia (and acting upon it), taking one's shoes off during car journeys, going to the cinema by oneself, and asking how much money other people make.
HanzoDee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:10 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not tipping.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:57 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gender roles. I find them quite convenient. I'm good at making money and paying for things. I'm not good at cooking or cleaning.
Agatha_Kare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:11 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do any of the skills you mentioned have to do with gender?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sigh "traditional gender roles". I didn't make them up
Gramatike ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chewing food loudly.
bigbabich ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:32:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's fucking gross. You're a monster.
xxdobbsxx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:13 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The rebel flag
heyoka9 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:02 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Teenage brides- Its natural. Having retarded babies at age 40 is not.
Kimrong ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:04 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Don't feel lonely,get your right person.We love big beautiful women.Join here: http://www.bigmingle.com/
Cap3127 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Owning machine guns.
Dziecko ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:17 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm..Well, wiping out all non-disabled people. There unsufferable pricks. I plan on just pulling an Adolf Hitler, and burning there asses to dust. How great the world would be devoid of any non-disabled people. First we would have to kill everyone in hospitals. We'll get them to take showers, and gas them when they are within the showers. Then we'll make slaves out of the rest of them.
IntentionalTexan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:46 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People who murder their children. I know it sounds callous but I don't care when crazy people kill their infants. As far as I'm concerned it just means more resources for me and mine.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:38 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racism
BenTight ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating or open relationship! Sex is a need, and not that much of time both partners are really into it at the same level at the same time. The concept of being exclusive to someone only came recently (except the fact that before the kids were bastards) The definition of a relationship should be based on the love you give to someone, not the act of making love nor having sex. I find it more of a betrayal of the partner if you stay in a relation where you don't love the other one, just because it's simplier or more conveniant. And someone should not be ashamed of the number of relation he or she had!
KrimzonK ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Murder.
I'm fucking fine with murder. A lot of people in this world should be killed but just aren't. I'm not talking about a dude runs a red light or trivial shit like that. I'm talking about stuff like known mob bosses who aren't in jail duento technicality, so richer fraudulent banker who out thousand of people out of jobs and walk away with a slap on the wrist.
Crispydare ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:54 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Texting while driving. The people who suck at it are ruining it for those who can do it just fine.
SixEight86 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:01:44 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bestiality. More specifically sex with dogs and horses
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:37 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:08 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah just don't do it when you have diarrhea, just saying.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:18 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Polyamory (i think that's the right word). I don't mean like one man with 12 wives though, I mean a bunch of people who all love each other. It may get messy but what relationships don't?!
Witts2000 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:11 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Driving like an asshole. As long as you are going fast, I don't care.
dsmdylan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:35 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Anything that is merely socially unacceptable but has no rational purpose.
Political correctness of any sort.
sosorrynoname ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Building a wall between Mexico and the US. Also with good stuff like machine guns, razor wire, and teller mines.
epicpotatofantasy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:00 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It implies massive xenophobia.
CreepsDatAss ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:58 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Creepshots. Im not talking about a hidden cam in a changing room or upskirts. I mean like she's wearing a thong at the beach or see through leggings at the gym or going topless in a public place where there is no reasonable expectation of privacy. By all means, take pics and document it for the spank bank.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:20 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hating gays, sexualizing women, drinking before noon, confederate flags, Owning guns, pre judging blacks, running bicycles off our roads etc.
๐๏ธ gnaan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:22 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This begs the question, is there anything you not OK with?
NilCealum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:03 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pepsi, hes a coke man all the way.
Leno405 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:14 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Christianity.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Cheating. Sex is natural. More sex is more natural.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Women are too emotional to hold positions of authority
phism ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:32 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Littering in a city. You're not going to damage the fragile ecosystem of 47th St. Maybe we should have to see the filth we create. It probably biodegrades faster after getting run over by some cars than it would in a landfill.
CptWhiskers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If everyone did this you'd literally be wading through trash.
phism ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:39 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good. Maybe we'd realize how much filth we create instead of pretending it magically disappears from the Earth.
NabiscoLobstrosity ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Making fun of lazy fat people for being fat and lazy.
Yeah, I'm one of the verified FPH'ers. Throw your hate my way if you want. This is my FPH-mostly alt.
And to answer some of the most common questions: I'd only ever target adults (never kids; I blame the parents for that), I only mock the very fat ones, who weigh upwards of 300 pounds with 50%+ bodyfat, and I'll only do it when it's clear they put no effort into their health whatsoever.
So, the best place for me to do this is at grocery stores. If you are 400 pounds, load your cart with mostly soft drinks, poptarts, and chips (yes, I have seen exactly this; can provide shitty blurry pics if needed), and barely walk under your own power - I will mock. I'll look at you like you are an alien, then I'll fake waddle away. Or I may start flexing in your proximity. Or I might start conversations with people around you about how great fruit is.
Why do I do this? I know it's mean. But it's self-destructive for people to harm themselves. And, no one else will tell people that they are gaining weight, and they won't realize it until they are fat. Being fat has a huge social stigma despite how common it is, but there's an even larger stigma against telling people that they are getting fat.
I'll be happy to answer any questions. I'm respectful to all serious askers, no matter what anyone weighs. Most of us FPH'ers keep our hate inside our playground, most of the time.
luisl1994 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:13 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Racism. Stop embodying stereotypes.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:50:45 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minors drinking and doing drugs.
If you are 15, you SHOULD be experimenting with that stuff. That should be legal. 100 percent legal. There is damage done when a kid doesn't sow his/her wild oats.
The drinking age should be lowered to 15. Or even 12 or 11.
A 12-year-old drinking wine at dinner with his/her parents is very normal.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tittyfucking in public. Not full on sex, you understand, but theres something about a rock hard wiener going to pound town on a pair of succulent knockers in my local Walmart that is incredibly acceptable to me.
bristlenose ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 12:34:52 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Farting after a good meal.
Should be absolutely socially acceptable, the best and most public way to say "Thanks, that was delicious!"
In restaurants too. If the farting is loud, continuous and across a number of tables, the chef should come out and take a bow.
optimusprawn ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:37:41 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fornication, gambling, drugs, nudity, heresy.
ostentia ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:29:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not using turn signals. Just don't fucking tailgate, people. Unless you're driving right up someone's ass, another car suddenly appearing in front of your car shouldn't be a dangerous and rage inducing problem. Drive defensively to compensate for other people's failings.
To be clear, I do use my turn signals every time. I just don't understand the mass freakout over "MONSTERS WHO DON'T USE TURN SIGNALS!" As long as you are driving safely and leaving the appropriate amount of space between cars, a lack of turn signals is not a huge deal.
Frost134 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:58:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's not always about the people in front of you. There is never a time where you shouldn't signal.
ostentia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:02 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just saying that I have never been personally endangered, annoyed or inconvenienced by people not using turn signals. I'm not advocating for not using turn signals. I just don't care when people don't use them.
JonJonFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:30 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No. Screw this. I can't agree with you here. Not using your turn signal is an effective "fuck you" to the other drivers around you.
I especially hate it when I'm trying to turn. There are times where I will see a car coming, decide not to turn because of it, and they turn onto the street I'm on. It's annoying. Had they signaled, I would have been able to turn, but because they didn't I probably have to waste even more of my time waiting. It's inconsiderate. It'd take more effort to actively seek out the situations where you wouldn't inconvenience or endanger people by not signaling, rather than just signal every time.
ostentia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, okay. I don't really care if you agree with me. The question isn't "what socially unacceptable things are actually acceptable," it's "what socially unacceptable things are you okay with." I am okay with people not using turn signals, hence my answer.
Also, I never trust people's turn signals when it comes to turning. I feel that it's safer to wait for them to pass whether or not they have their turn signals on.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:46 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minors smoking tobacco.
If you are 15, you should be allowed to experiment with smoking cigarettes.
You are old enough to make that choice for yourself.
AfterschoolTeacher ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:01:27 on July 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Smoking on an elevated subway platform.
Why is this illegal in NYC?!
If it is an underground subway, I get it. People are forced to smell your smoke.
But a platform that is open air??!??!?!? Puff away! If someone doesn't like it, he or she can MOVE THE FUCK AWAY!!
The platform is big and long. You don't like smoke? MOVE THE FUCK AWAY!!
The burden to move is on the asshole who doesn't like it, not on the smoker.
AnghellicKarma ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:06:24 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:24:40 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ethnic cleansing. I don't see any reason why the dominant ethnic or racial group shouldn't have an exclusive right to decide who gets to be included. Even if racial categorization is constructed on murky, questionable grounds, it's still preferable to multiculturalism and diversity for diversity's sake.
JoeSmith_DFTBA ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:31:42 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm not understanding, are you saying you're ok with genocide/mass deportaion?
Am I just feeding the trolls?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:21:29 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:10 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shame
connstar97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:55 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf is wrong with you!? How could you possibly think forcing sex upon someone else is okay?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:03:25 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
connstar97 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:43 on July 13, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just doing my part to spread the truth, no reason to ban a flag its stupid, people wanna buy nazi flags who cares let them, you give it power
YohanAnthony ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:12:31 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Liking One Direction, not being a fan of everything I like
stillnotdecatron22 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 13:51:49 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pedophiles who aren't sexually active. Everybody has the right to be sexually attracted to one person/thing or another and as long as they don't break any laws they shouldn't be shunned in any way. This coming from a 15-year-old btw.
ginzeh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:33 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you for real? I'm guessing your attracted to young children then?
stillnotdecatron22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:08 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not, I've had a strong relationship with my girlfriend for over a year now. She's in the same year as me (she's actually 3 months older). I just think that no one should be shunned for liking/loving having preferences like this.
jaybaird05 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:43 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's A rough one dude. I guess If they don't look at material and never act on it it's fine, but it's still fucked up! In the end guess it's the same concept of rape/kidnap fantasies.... As long as nobody is hurt.
RNAPII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:14 on July 14, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...unless they don't act you would never know.