If this was recently I wouldn't be very surprised. Teach IT based classes at a local community college and have students that will type a command in a command line wrong and think that the error is their answer.
They will continue to do this for a whole lab or until I notice what they are doing and try to turn in a 20 question assignment with each answer as the equivalent of "Syntax error"
I had an experience like that with a girl who said she couldn't do 890+689 on a calculator this is how the conversation went....
Me: You need help?
Her: No, this is a problem that cant be done on the calculator
Me: Why not?
Her: well I was searching for a while and I can't find the 890 or the 689 key on the calculator.
(This is the same girl who on the first of geometry and said "One of my friends told me that geometry is something you say when you turn into a tree) Gee-I'm-A-Tree
Back in high school a guy named Kevin was arguing with me, and anyone who would listen, saying that STD's are prevented by having sex. After about a minute of explaining to him what STD meant I decided to just say "let's agree to disagree." But he didn't let it go. He pulled out a $50 bill from his wallet and bet me that he was right. After he looked it up the crowd mentality forced him to pay up.
Tl;dr dumb high school student bet me $50 that std's are prevented by having sex.
Elemont · 666 points · Posted at 19:10:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And the legend of Kevin continues, stay classy Kevin
For the people downvoting you, who I assume have not had the overwhelming pleasure of seeing the skit you're referencing, here's Key&Peele! http://youtube.com/watch?v=rQnYi3z56RE
At least you got your money back. Some dumb bitch still won't pay me for the bet she lost back in 2006. She owed me five more dollars every week she didn't pay me back.
Relevant to this: In high school I took an Earth Science class. Class started with the teacher asking about common minerals. One girl suggested that Starbucks was a mineral.
Man, a human baby seems like an awful pet. Alright, they are cute 10% of the time, but it's 90% a bother. Puppies or kittens seem much better if you want a pet.
I'm at the age (and stable relationship) that I get the question 'don't you want kids?' a lot.. and I always respond with... 'well, I love too.. but only on sunday' :P
i can see it making sense when linking gene expreessions with cell behaviors, a word mix up yes, but expressions and behaviors are often colloquially closely linked
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:15:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
Kevin and his world were VERY real. He was simultaneously everything wrong and everything right with the world. He was a testament to the fact that anyone can do anything.
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 02:33:40 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am honestly in awe of that channel. I don't think anything so stupid has made me laugh like that in a couple of years. There's a level of genius to it I can't comprehend.
At a local elementary school's kindergarten graduation, they played a video where they asked each of the students a few questions. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, one kid answered "A police dog".
Somebody linked this in the "What would humanity forget if it left Earth" askreddit thread. Someone's reply was Kevin and most people thought of Home Alone. But someone linked to the Kevin in this thread and many of us kept reading because the entire thread is hilarious.
Looooooooong ago the neighborhood kids decided to make our own parade. Some made floats out of their wagons. I was a racecar: I had a baseball bat in either hand, the handles out to the back of me to symbolize exhaust pipes and wore a plastic racing helmet. Pretty sure I was the only one who knew what I was.
I snuck out of my crib at the age of just under 2 and proceeded to watch the movie "Halloween". I then spent the next 3 years telling everyone who would listen that I wanted to be Jamie Lee Curtis. Not the character in the movie, but the actual Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm assuming they must have said her name a lot in the commercial breaks.
Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I’ve already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus.
I snuck out of my crib at the age of just under 2 and proceeded to watch the movie "Halloween". I then spent the next 3 years telling everyone who would listen that I wanted to be Jamie Lee Curtis. Not the character in the movie, but the actual Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm assuming they must have said her name a lot in the commercial breaks.
Hey can I ask how you came upon this comment? It's quite old and yet I get replies on it about once a week. Just wondering if there's some reason why haha
Haha I actually do that and end up commenting on really old stuff all the time. I've seen that movie but don't know what that is sooo apparently I'm a failure!
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:47:46 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh boy go do that right now >_> I've commented on stuff RIGHT before it gets archived and people wonder what the fuck i'm even doing there lol.
I remember in first grade... teacher is asking everyone what they want to be, and one dude says "I want to be a football." The teacher replies, "Surely you mean that you want to be a football player."
Can I ask -- ive had three replies to this post just today and its over two months old... What made you find it? Im so curious why people are replying all of a sudden
There's a thread that I can't link to because of mobile on askreddit asking "When's the last time you laughed so hard you cried?" And your post was mentioned.
In 1st grade they had one of those parents come to school days, and a guys father was a truck driver. My brother though it was so cool he told everyone my dad was a truck driver... except my dad had 2 PhD's and was a dean of a graduate program at the time. Oh and a terrible driver.
Its not that bad ! I wanted to be a potato (not the "i am going to hell for this" potato but the french fries potato) when I was 3 years old ... But i haven't been able to achieve my dreams.YET!!!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:16:16 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a kid who wanted to be fried chicken lol
Yuizme · -3 points · Posted at 01:36:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I don't think I've ever seen such downvoting proportionally for an Arrested Development reference. You're . . . changing, reddit. [parent comment was in the negative]
That's a quote from a film right? I remember it being said similar to that. A movie about a dumb kid talking to his parents saying he wanted to be something and ended up saying the object or tool rather than the occupation. Oh god what was it?
Awe-some acrobatics whilest shooting and bombing friendly targets. Forgetting to land, mistaking railroadstations for airfields. Gonna be a blast
walruz · 3 points · Posted at 09:53:08 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only if you're planning on attending any Yemeni weddings.
GrethSC · 169 points · Posted at 09:38:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think he's just the subject of constant corrupted djinn wishes. 'You can fly an F-15 like no one else on the planet; can't remember where the airfield is.'
Met an Israeli F4 pilot once - wing commander. Apparently, he and his squad used to get roaring drunk, party 'til 4 in the morning, then fly dawn patrol - taking out Iranian nuclear facilities and such. Apparently: "So, where's our target again?" was asked more than once.
If he did take out Iranian nuclear facilities, that probably a military secret. I've poked through the wikipedia articles on the Israeli Air Force and Iran-Israel interactions, as well as poking through the rest of the internet.
Israel bombed nuclear facilities in Iraq and Syria, as well as some Iranian assets and supplies, but not Iranian nuclear facilities directly.
I really doubt he would be allowed to do more than look at pictures of planes if he did somehow make it into any branch of service. Honestly if this guy spoke the truth i would be scared to let him pilot a mop bucket.
Then he would buzz the tower, because fuck yo logic!
[deleted] · 36 points · Posted at 05:36:53 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
If anything my beloved Corps would at the very least find out if Kevin was a trainable or needed institutionalizing. I had a kid in my platoon in boot camp who, six weeks in, FINALLY got recycled. He never once made his rack himself or learned to stop smiling in the DI's faces. I don't know if he ever graduated.
I had a kid in boot camp who wasn't even allowed to dress himself. He wasn't even allowed to put on his own underwear. It was by far the saddest, yet funniest, thing I have ever witnessed.
I am a Marine currently. As long as he can run, do pullups, and shoot well, then he'll be a SgtMaj in no time. I've met a lot of Marines that I'm pretty sure are either borderline legally retarded, or below that.
Hey now: I was going to be one of those guys. I wanted to be the master gunny who really knew how stuff got done, not the first sergeant kissing the captain's hinder.
Then .. NJP near the end of my second enlistment. I found myself an E3 with two service stripes and denied enlistment. Read the writing on the wall: got the heck out.
See, all the master guns that I've had have all been ass kissers. Not quite as bad as the 1stsgts,but still ass kiss and throw all the younger guys under the bus. This may just be the intel/sigint field though.
What were you before your njp? I thought that Cpls were forced out at 8, and it had to have been something bad to drop from Sgt.
Never saw any when I was a grunt. Then I lat-moved.
I worked for some good ones in data processing. One 'iffy' one, and he was a good SNCO, just a bad technician.
What were you before your njp?
I was corporal before I was busted, both times. Wait, let me backtrack.
I enlisted in one slow-promoting field: 0311. Made corporal just before I re-enlisted. Busted to Lance just after re-enlisting.
Lat-moved [1] to another slow-promoting field: data processing. Made corporal again, then busted back to Lance just before my 7-year mark.
This sounds like a complete goof-ball, and I guess I was, in some respects. I never saw myself as a lifer, but a career Marine. I liked being in the Fleet, liked doing my job.
I liked - weirdly - being a Marine and I think I was not half-bad at it.
The Major - the one who busted me the second time - disagreed and said in so many words 'no way am I recommending you for re-enlistment, mr. 7 1/2 years and still a Lance Corporal'
Whatever, dude.
[1] Contractual obligation. Otherwise I'm sure Colonel Pace would have been delighted to send me to 8th Marines.
Jesus. 25 years ago. That must have been a way different time back then. Nowadays they tried to kick me out for not checking my Bn mailbox (the one the guys that live in the barracks have to use). I am married. I haven't had that mailbox or lived in the barracks for 2.5 years.
Why is it that marines are either really sharp or really stupid? I've never seen one of average intelligence. I know five that have masters degrees and ten that have threatened to kill me over math- or physics-related arguments.
Beats me man. I've been trying to figure that out for 4 years. I think it's because the smart Ines become officers, the average ones are too smart to stay in, and the dumb ones know they could be survive in the real world so they stay in enlisted.
That's pretty much what I've decided.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:33:52 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Marine Corps attracts a certain amount of "less than average" people. The lowest minimum test scores to get in, and up until recently they were building up the force so they were taking pretty much anyone.
of course there are idiots everywhere. i'm just saying that my experience has been that marines are smarter than army. your father seems to support my conclusion.
The few and the proud, right? My understanding is that there aren't as many marine units, but they are held to a high standard. The army is huge, do you'll see units that are top notch, and units that are full of slackers. I guess at the end of the day, there's a reason why JSOC uses marines to back up their SOGs.
He'll go out one day to join the Air Force, and wind up in the Navy. 8 years later, when we hear about the first aircraft carrier to ever get stuck on the Great Barrier Reef, we'll know it was Kevin.
RIP in peace is the funnest thing I've ever heard without understanding why I think it's so funny, I am "literally" dying for a situation to use in which to use it in
Not sure if this is a pun referring to Trevor and GTA 5 or not
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:05:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It doesn't sound like he would meet the Army standards, let alone the Air Force ones.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:37:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh my god, i am acutaly laughing out loud. which means alot considering the fact that I didnt have human contact for the entire day, studying chinese o.O
411eli · 1 points · Posted at 06:01:00 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
OMG, I think he may have joined the Army. I was in the Air Force and deployed in the desert a couple years ago. Every once in a while I'd work with some soldiers in the Patriot battalion where everyone would be busy and there was this one kid that would always be sitting on the ground drooling on his ACU's. Every freakin' time I went there!
This guy has stuck in my mind for the past couple years, people just walked around him pretending he wasn't there. Pretty sure this guy had to have had an ASVAB (like an IQ test when enlisting in the military) waiver.
Because I went through BMT with two very special people and one of them made it. I don't know how. Maybe it's because they stuck him in security forces and said, "They need the manning," but he passed.
What a fucking fascinating family, I'm astounded his parents actually figured out the difference between belly button and vagina and successfully conceived a child.
Oh, that is great. Did this happen to be in 2007 when he would have possibly graduated? I had a kid in my basic class, dumber then a bag of rocks, who clearly reminds me of this 'Kevin'. I don't know how the kid survived to be 18 but in those days, everyone was welcome to the AF.
He's like Forrest Gump, somehow. Forrest was dumb, but amazing things happened to him. Kevin is dumb. Terrible things happen to him, but he somehow survives.
Oh god. I had a neighbor that fits this description perfectly. Once dug a "trap" hold in my friend's back yard and covered it with leaves, then proceeded to fall into it and we had to pull him out. Would repeatedly climb the tree in his front yard all the way to the top, then fall out of it every time. Except the one time that he didn't and we had to call the fire department because he couldn't remember how to climb down. Was riding his bike to our house in swim shorts with a towel around his neck. Leaned too far over and the towel got stuck in the spokes. He flipped over the handle bars and the bike flipped over and landed on top of him. We wouldn't let him near our trampoline, because we feared for his and our lives. He's now a high ranking army man...
EDIT he was on leave and came back to visit last winter. His car slid and he took out my neighbor's mailbox and we had to help pull him out of the ditch. It wasn't even icy. It terrifies me that they let him touch guns.
Good old Michigan. Where apples never fall far from trees. I dated a guy in high school that got expelled and then barely passed his GED. He was not good at anything to do with school work or memorization of facts. But, motherfucker could weld like crazy and hunt like a bear. He had no still set for book smarts, but he went 101 and was jumping out of helicopters and driving Humvees and Tanks. Also, he was social so stupid. He did great in the military because they run your life for you. He madea huge signing bonus, got medically discharged and is married with 3 boys and recently graduated to be a mechanic for cars, big rigs, and motor sport vehicles.
It's not to bad. Lots of dummies and a few really smart people. You'll find the smart ones because they are looking for other smart people too, you'll be able to pick them out quickly.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 04:47:21 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like America. Our Army is fucking stupid. They go for quantity over quality. They literally let almost anyone in. and most likely if the deny you. You can get a waiver
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 03:18:31 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
To those God didn't give brains, He gave stars and stripes.
Common soldiers saying in my country. Basically, the command is always retarded in one way or the other.
[deleted] · 74 points · Posted at 02:40:08 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm an officer with prior service and an enlisted and I can tell you the high ranking officers in the military are complet dumbasses .
_Bones · 46 points · Posted at 09:33:36 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
A General is coming who is very concerned with wasteful spending and financial efficiency in his troops. What do we do, Major?
Repaint the building whether it needs it or not!
I had to come in on a fucking weekend to repaint the halls in the squadron building so some jackass could spend twenty minutes walking through not caring before heading off to meetings for the rest of his stay.
My dad was in an engineer detachment in Iraq late in this war and had a fellow. Everyone in the detachment was Lt. Col. This joker was so bad, they sent him to all the projects that were going smoothly so he couldn't screw them up.
Let's be honest. Kevin was short, slow, and white and the basketball team was a regular college scouting stop. Kevin had a better chance of making the Olympic Luge team...and that was before he called the coach a bitch.
Haha, that was actually one of my favorites too because of how I found it out. We were doing an assignment on personification and I had people describe their pets using it. (Welcome to America, where we teach personification in high school, I know). Kevin didn't have any pets but he said his neighbor had a cat he played with sometimes. He listed off like 3 or 4 things and it became really apparent that he was describing a dog. At first I thought that maybe he just had trouble figuring out the right way to say it, but after 2 or 3 more sentences, it was abundantly clear that this was a really big dog. Someone else who lived on the same street put 2 and 2 together as well and said "Kevin, that's not a cat. That's so-and-so's black lab." Kevin was absolutely floored that A. someone else lived on his street and B. that there was a difference between a black lab and a house cat. Like, I am only guessing, but I think to him...dog and cat were as interchangeable terms as Hat and Cap.
You train and prepare as a teacher to try and find ways to redirect embarrassing situations like a student being REALLY wrong in public, but I was at a loss for how to move on from there.
[deleted] · 1632 points · Posted at 23:09:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can you make a super post just telling stories about Kevin?
[deleted] · 808 points · Posted at 02:28:20 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
The fact that you have +82 karma for a comment you made 3 months after the original post is a crazy testament to how big of a part of his Reddit career this post is.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 03:09:29 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
warhammer? i haven't played that game in years, good fun but a huge time and money sink.
(But seriously, how did you not notice that everyone else filled out the same number on school forms or that 'your' zip code was on the side of the post office? )
Seriously? In Germany there are streets which are party in one postcode and partly in another one. And before there was the change to 5 digit postcodes, there was one part that was before the name of the city and one after, like 5000 Köln 42.
naryn · 5 points · Posted at 11:15:07 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Postcodes here are usually made of two parts, CT2 for instance is Canterbury, then the next bit (7UF) would be the street. If you see an address form with the find address... Thing, you put in the postcode then a list of houses on the street will come up
Kevin was absolutely floored that A. someone else lived on his street
This out of the entire story cracked me up the most. I had envisioned him thinking houses and cars lived on his street. His mind being blown that people live in those houses.
I just love those little things that attack you in that one way to make you bust out laughing.
Feldew · 6 points · Posted at 13:53:26 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe he would have been surprised that other students lived so close to him. I did my damndest to avoid people from school in my neighborhood and rarely left the house, so I liked to imagine they all lived on some far side of town. So when I found out one lived just a block away I died a little inside lol
actually not really. that line is a pretty old "cheesy" pickup line. usually the less disgusting way you do this is to lick your finger and then touch your shirt and the girls shirt and say "let's get out of these wet clothes."
This is two months late, but that line won me a $50 Fannie Mae gift card when a local radio station had a Valentine's Day "Best Worst Pickup Line" contest.
When my son was 1 year old, everything animal was "Cat" - which was cute, because we had a cat that would look in the window at us: "Cat." Very good! Also, people walking their dog "Cat" - no, that one is a dog. Pigeons at the doctor's office "Cats" - now you're just messing with us, right?
|We were doing an assignment on personification and I had people describe their pets using it. (Welcome to America, where we teach personification in high school, I know).|
Please allow me to let you feel a little better by letting you know that my fourth graders have personification down. I mean, they could use it better than I do, and frankly do each day in their writing.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 02:05:05 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can you just show us a picture of Kevin, I so badly want to see if he is visibly retarded
I don't know how I missed this 5 months ago, but as a former teacher in a really stupid county, I am LOVING this thread. Thank god it wasn't 6 months ago or it would be archived and I couldn't upvote everything you wrote.
I'm dying to know what state you were teaching in!
Reminds me of the episode of community "Basic Story", where the school was being inspected and the inspector said the city defines a dog as any living creature with four legs and a tail, including bears cats and raccoon, lol!
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 21:38:26 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol. If my teachers had a retard like that for a student, they would just mock them.
this one was also my favorite part! It kind of reminded me of ricky from trailer park boys, when he was complaining about "raycuns" (raccoons) and how he thought they were weird long-snouted cats haha!
I used to work with a guy who honestly thought chipmunks were just baby squirrels. When I told him they were two different animals he was flabbergasted.
Not quite on the same level as dogs and cats, but still.
I knew something was up from that first meeting, but the luggage story (which was in like, October of that year) was where suddenly everything made sense.
[deleted] · 1289 points · Posted at 22:34:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seriously, the amount of steps necessary to forget your luggage makes it seem literally impossible. "Do you have any luggage to check?"
although you get to that point and probably don't have time to go home and get it before your flight takes off. and someone stupid enough to leave the luggage necessary for a trip to Nassau at home would probably be stupid enough to go to Nassau anyway luggage or no luggage.
My neighbor's older half brother is named Kevin and he just graduated from high school. I remember her showing me a poem of his about how he always turned things in one day late, including that poem, and also how he would also leave for school about 10 minutes late because he often overslept.
I'll be honest, if I had made it that far, I'd just go and buy what I needed there. There's nothing so important you can't replace it. Especially in the Bahamas. I mean, a bathing suit and some sandals? No problem!
Jigsus · 15 points · Posted at 22:12:36 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
How can people that stupid afford to go to the Bahamas?
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 07:12:54 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is this kid still with you?
Please try to teach him and his parents to make and religiously follow checklists. It's a simple thing that can fucking save their lives. Or at least remind them to take their luggage when going on a vacation.
It's a side effect of teaching. When you spend a large amount of time explaining things to people, especially the same thing over and over again, you eventually just try to find new ways to say it so you don't bore yourself to death.
So did "Kevin" contribute to your decision to stop teaching? Mine was mostly politics in education and special ed law in Vermont, which sucks ass. If you don't mind my asking, what are you doing now?
Not really. I said it elsewhere, but there was a certain amount of comic relief from Kevin. If he was going to be trouble in my classroom, it happened before we finished the warmup activity. If he behaved through that 10-15 minutes, he was fine for the rest of the period.
I left due to a combination of events....but in general it was just that I didn't enjoy it. I had to convince myself to wake up and go to work every morning and spent more of the day just counting down to 3pm. Life is too short to work a job you hate.
Now I work for a govt contractor doing software testing and technical writing. Better pay. Less stress. And better opportunities than would have ever been possible teaching.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 21:41:33 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sir. I love you. You make me feel so much better about myself while entertaining with this Kevin story. I apologize for the month long reply. This is the first time I saw this thread and it was hilarious.
Basically an exercise in futility; it would be very difficult to climb a water slide normally, but impossible while greased up. And orangutans are both funny-looking and very big and heavy, which would compound the difficulty and provides a funnier image for the reader.
After watching that movie five times it JUST NOW occurred to me that Steve must be super happy about getting a reference. What with having been asleep for decades and all.
I think I must have gone to high school with Kevin's cousin. We'll call her Kelly.
Kelly also found it difficult to remember when/where her classes were. We went to a tiny school, there were four possible classrooms to choose from. She showed up on the weekends sometimes.
Kelly pulled the fire alarm because she "wanted to know what it would do." Not once. Not twice. Three separate times.
And the real kicker: It took Kelly until 10th grade to realize she was left handed. She had always just thought her left hand was her right hand because it was the one she wrote with.
i have had my share of student teaching to know that many students in highschool just dont seem to understand the difference between left and right. and sometimes i hope i can blame it on a homophone instead of idioacy.
This makes me happy inside, I was ambidextrous, and as a child it made it difficult to learn my lefts and rights... I thought I was stupid because it took me until 4th grade...
(I over compensated by being obnoxiously smart at other things... eventually I grew out of that phase and am back to being a regular old idiot)
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 03:58:05 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I used to write with my left hand, then I became ambidextrous and now i only write with my right hand. I think is has something to do with my amnesia like condition.
Well the last one is legit because it was her "write" hand. Something like 70% of the population writes with their right hand. Cognates are confusing. Still dumb, but I get it.
1D4lyfe · 222 points · Posted at 22:42:35 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not a cognate, cognates indicate similar etymology. Homophone.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 23:02:12 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, it wouldn't be a false cognate either. It's a homophone.
An example of a false cognate would be the German word "gift." You'd think it would mean the same as the English word gift, since they're spelled the same. It would just make sense that they have similar etymologies and the spelling didn't change over the years, so both languages have the same word for gift.
But actually, the German word "gift" means poison. That's a false cognate.
1) I suggested that perhaps the commenter meant to say they were false cognates rather than cognates, which I believed to be a more reasonable suggestion. My comment does not specifically mention whether I thought this an appropriate description of the words.
2) False cognates have similar form and meaning but different etymologies. In your example the words are homonyms and false friends but not false cognates.
3) Right and write are similar in phonological form and at least somewhat in meaning (in that most people write with their right hand) but differ in origin and thus may be considered false cognates.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 01:17:40 on July 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
First of all, why are you commenting on a post from 2 months ago? Are you from the past?
Second, people who don't write due to disabilities are included in the number of people who just don't write. Who knows tho, I wrote that comment 2 months ago.
Kittae · 24 points · Posted at 17:31:10 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Being left-handed, you internalize "dominant hand" too. I have to make the L with my thumb and finger to remember which is which still, because "dominant hand" means "right hand" and so I don't always remember I'm left-handed.
Sounds like his other cousin in my class, let's say, Kel.
Last year, when she was 16, she did not know that the sun and the moon were two separate things. Like, she was genuinely shocked when she discovers it in science class.
The worst thing is that this grade is like a few years prior to university.
I wasn't at the game, but my instructional lead texted me that night with a picture of Kevin sitting on the tailgate of an ambulance surrounded by security and just the words "Isn't he one of yours?" He was mostly fine, but it looked like he had been bitten by a vampire that wore socks on the carpet too much. No one knows where he got the taser or what happened to it.
Your last sentence is the very best part. My god - this is beautiful.
Domriso · 624 points · Posted at 04:46:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"You said he tazed himself?"
"Yeah! I saw him playing with it, and then he accidentally got himself in the neck!"
"Where did the tazer go?"
"He put it in his pocket after we picked him off the ground."
"...He's not wearing pants."
[deleted] · 118 points · Posted at 16:58:25 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
He must be the Dragonborn.
Bradhan · 20 points · Posted at 04:44:49 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just laughed so much that I started choking on my spit. Then I rolled off the bed and took myself and my dog down to the floor while I sputtered uncontrollably. Thank you so much for almost killing me and my pet.
Domriso · 8 points · Posted at 05:03:00 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's the first time I think I've ever heard that said even somewhat straightforward...
Kevin comments were linked in another /r/askreddit thread, which lead me here.
These last two lines
He was mostly fine, but it looked like he had been bitten by a vampire that wore socks on the carpet too much. No one knows where he got the taser or what happened to it.
That was the hardest pill to swallow. Despite numerous tests and assessments and meetings and just overall study, no one could ever say he had any kind of learning disability. No IEP. No 504. No special file. No case worker or advocate. Just, Kevin, his mom, his dad, and zero brain matter.
lol didn't even notice this. the comment is 5 months old now, so I'm guessing at least 4 months.
[deleted] · 239 points · Posted at 01:50:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't buy it. You would think it is genetic since the entire family is like that, but something is off. You don't grow up that stupid and survive, so genes that bad, in the age of the automobile, should be pretty much gone. That, and (I assume) the parents aren't related making it somewhat coincidental that they could all be so incredibly dumb. If you somehow did make it to adulthood, you would have some pretty serious coping mechanisms. Ok, math, lets get the fingers out. Ok, I'm leaving the house, get the list and the helmet. You would have some idea that you were stupid.
Something happened to make these people stupid. My guess is some kind of gas leak or carbon monoxide poisoning.
That's the thing; mentally handicapped persons can end up with a "normal" spouse, because such handicaps often limit only certain functionality but keep others.
When you're just plain stupid, it's hard to find someone to put up with it who isn't just as stupid.
Maybe you've just avoided them but I run into stupid all the time.
Just this past weekend we were camping. While checking into the campground the nice young person at the desk told us to let them know right away if someone violated quiet hours which started at ten. Then immediately followed that up by saying they were there until nine. I'm pretty sure her brain reset mid conversation.
Psionx0 · 175 points · Posted at 00:25:37 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
LD's often don't include simple low intelligence. The kid probably scored in the upper 80's, lower 90's and so wouldn't qualify for an LD Dx. Which, is unfortunate.
Yeah, this was our main concensus by midyear. When badgered heavily, he scored more or less in the middle of the 2nd quartile. His DORA and DOMA scores were low, but not low enough to really indicate he was hitting a blocker with instruction.
Folks always talk about how people typically fall on a bell curve.....well, Kevin was the poor sap at the low end.
FLR21 · 49 points · Posted at 03:26:58 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fantastic Mr Fox is one of my favourite films ever. Grand Budapest Hotel (in cinemas now, in the UK at least) is incredible. Moonrise Kingdom is utterly charming.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:23:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank ya kindly.
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 02:11:07 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a Teacher Consultant in a school district I see this happen all of the time. There are some kids that are like this that are "too high" on the "right categories" to qualify them for an IEP/504. It BLOWS my mind! (I usually find one sub-sub-sub-sub category to throw them a bone if they are students that are generally struggling. But he didn't have much up-top, then adding in attendance/moving around too much as factors I'm sure no one was going to throw him a bone!) This made me laugh so hard though NoahtheRed thank you! I have so many stories about students, but it is more of funny things that happened not "dumb" students. :)
MJWood · 1 points · Posted at 13:21:19 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
All psychological?
adh247 · 1 points · Posted at 04:49:30 on August 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
It sounds.like he just never learned and thought os school as a place to hang out. Did he ever pass your class or get held back?
I taught for a couple of years. Would have been really hard not to put this kid's head through a wall. From what I can tell it probably wouldn't have hurt him anyway.
He was in a class with two other knuckleheads, but both of them were the "Too smart to do any work" types so they were more of a problem than Kevin. Both of them had 504s and I had 11 or 12 kids with IEPs in there, so I had a collaborative to split the effort with. 4th period with Kevin could go one of two ways: Either he'd do something so incredibly stupid within the first 10 minutes that he'd be gone most of class, or he'd just kind of simmer for the whole period and get everything wrong but not cause problems. So honestly, his behavior problems didn't get to me too much.
Really, I waited for every other monday so I could find out what new and stupid thing he or his family did.
I've had kids like that. Either get everything wrong or do something stupid. They weren't near as bad as this kid seems to have been though. They might have done some dumb or mean spirited shit, but I don't ever recall one of them eating a box of crayons two days in a row. And one of these kids was a crack baby whose mother had AIDS.
Yeah, that was the magical thing about Kevin. I can think of several students who did things that were easily way dumber than the stuff Kevin did....but they also did things that were intelligent, or at least not-unintelligent most of the time. Kevin was just constant, consistent stupidity.
I'm pretty sure his mother was some kind of physical therapist. His dad? No idea. I only met him a few times, but he always wore a pretty nice suit or at least business casual. They both drove decently new cars and his house was in a nice subdivision. I'm assuming that for what they lacked in common sense, they made up for in some kind of specialized knowledge. For all I know, his dad could have been a brilliant plastic surgeon....but an idiot in every other regard. They were both nice people.
After I left teaching, I got periodic updates on Kevin (as well as other students) from my friends still working there. I haven't heard anything recently though.
Sorry for the late reply, I followed a link in Ask Reddit, and I can't help but chime in.
This gives me A LOT of hope. I was just researching fetal alcohol syndrome because A LOT of the struggles they have with things are very similar to my own, and I do have an underdeveloped jaw, and I guess my mid face is a bit flat, and my head is small. I don't know if my mom drank while she pregnant with me, but she was an alcoholic afterwards. I AM diagnosed with hypothyroidism so maybe that's the cause behind all my problems but I can relate to people with FAS better, though my problems aren't as severe, but still, the poor judgment, poor money handling, hyper-sexuality, lack of impulse control especially, and the problems dealing with emotions.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I've held employment for over 6 years, no gaps between 3 employers and held my own apartment for over 5 years without too much help, except I had to ask my dad for money about 3 or 4 times, but on just one 40 hour week, $10 an hour income, I supported two people for about 3 years total between two dead beat boyfriends. I didn't have to ask for money until my my second DBB got me back to smoking weed and we were both psychologically dependent on it, which I know is pathetic and also another reason I'm paranoid, lack of impulse control much? So many disorders and syndromes have overlapping symptoms, how does anyone get a proper diagnosis?
TL;DR I'm really stupid, worried about FAS, and these people make me feel that even I can make it in the world.
I was reading the reasons you gave for feeling stupid:
my problems aren't as severe, but still, the poor judgment, poor money >handling, hyper-sexuality, lack of impulse control especially, and the >problems dealing with emotions.
This doesn't seem like something that's exclusive to dumb people. I do these too, and I tell myself I'm stupid, but I also know many people have a hard time with most of these, all at the same time.
It might be more of a psychological thing if anything at all even (like, stemming for a lack of confidence, or anxiety, or something that sounds small). Could just be part of growing up.
I'm not a doctor, it's just my opinion.
I remember taking a psychology class where we learned about different parts of the brain and their effect on our behaviour. I learned the Amygdala, a part of the brain in charge of strong emotional reactions develops during adolescence much faster than your cortex, which is associated with rational thinking, planning ahead, complex thoughts. So when you're a teen, there's a while when you are just this hormone saturated being that has very little control over impulses and strong emotions. The cortex doesn't catch up until you are 25, when you are finally more capable of logical, rational thinking.
It could be that you haven't finished developing.
my problems aren't as severe, but still, the poor judgment, poor money handling, hyper-sexuality, lack of impulse control especially, and the problems dealing with emotions.
You might want to talk to a psychologist. Some of those symptoms read like bi-polar disorder.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:51:29 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I really wouldn't worry about it. You're way more together than me, and I'm a burnt out physics child progidy... Which I have no idea if you understand... Look, my point is that you're doing better than most of the people I know, given that it sounds like you're in your mid-twenties. Also, I can tell from your writing your not that stupid.
IEP is an Individual Education Plan and it essentially lays out the needs of the student as it pertains to a learning disability. They can cover things as minor as a student needing to take their tests in a quiet room to needing a full time advocate that goes with them to every single class. Sometimes IEPs are only relevant in certain subjects. I had kids in my honors classes with IEPs that only had accommodations in math class. To my memory, I never had a class that didn't have someone with an IEP. They were extremely common and for the most part, pretty reasonable. Most students with IEPs were aware of what it entailed and frequently worked hard to compensate. If you have a significant number of students with one in a class, you typically have a collaborative teacher who assists/splits the load (or does jack shit, depending on who they were).
Because English was required every year (in VA, you can graduate with 3 maths, sciences, and civics classes....but you must have 4 years of English lit/comp), I was typically the one tapped to sit in on IEP meetings for each of my students. My entire September and October was nothing but IEP meetings where parents, advocates, etc would determine what accommodations a student needed. All of this was very structured and if we didn't meet the accommodations, it was serious shit. Most of the time, the accommodations were reasonable and sane, but there was always a few that made zero sense or were entirely unreasonable.
504s were health and behavioral. Things like ADD, ADHD, emotional issues, physical needs, etc were covered by the 504. As bad as it sounds, a 504 was usually a huge red flag. If you saw "Please see counselor: 504 req" in the roster comments for a student, it usually meant "You are about to embark on a journey through the valley of bullshit." The legal requirements concerning how things were worded or explained were vague and at times, arbitrary. Things like "Cannot be required to lift heavy things" would bite you in the ass hard because it was entirely subjective what "heavy things" were. I got in trouble because I made a kid take his textbook home on a night that he had to take other textbooks home. This is also where I learned about Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Essentially, ODD is the mental health term for "Cannot control temper" and it's becoming the new ADD. I had a student throw a shitfit because she wasn't allowed to go to another teacher's room during a test (the other teacher had a class at the time). By shitfit, I mean that she flipped her desk and started screaming at me, the security guard, and everyone between my room and the office. A week later, she had a 504 for ODD and from then on...if she had "an episode", I was to take her across the hall to the copy room and let her blow off steam. If she did anything like attack another student or damage property, she would not be disciplined because she had been diagnosed with ODD. Her 504 essentially gave her a free pass.
So yeah, 504s were abused like crazy and unfortunately, teachers learned that they were the black flag of doom.
Ah, VA education. My mother teaches multiply disabled elementary school kids and IEPs are the bane of her existence.
Of course, I did have a friend who had a 504 and he was an excellent student. It was just he had a lot of depressive issues and would sometimes miss days of school at a time.
Yeah, 504s covered a massive swath of different things. Everything from food allergies to emotional and non-LD mental issues. I had far more IEPs than 504s, but saw a disproportionately high amount of abuse of 504 accommodations. IEPs had list of possible accommodations, but 504s were bespoke in that regard. You could get a doctor to say your kid needs hourly backrubs and we'd have to accommodate that somehow. The most bullshit ones were typically related to ODD or ADD. That girl I mentioned above who threw a fit and got a 504 afterwards had hers amended the next year to essentially say that if anything student does anything, intentional or not, that could provoke an episode...the other student had to be removed from the room until it passed. Removing her, apparently, could increase the severity of her outbursts because of the "increased stress".
Of course, we also had kids who were given 504s who didn't want them or feel like they needed it. Those were typically the result of overzealous advocates or helicopter parents.
And of course, on the flipside of that were the ones who I wish someone had warned me before I met them.....like Kevin. For all intents and purposes, he should have had a 504.
You could get a doctor to say your kid needs hourly backrubs and we'd have to accommodate that somehow.
This is what I'm gonna do if I ever have a kid.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 00:05:40 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Question- I'm going into my last year of high school pretty soon and I've been diagnosed with ADHD over the summer. I've heard that I could get separate setting for tests- should I go get the IEP? I don't think it'd exactly be too trying for my teachers.
And yeah, there's a lot of people who abuse the ADD or ODD label. I'm related to a few of them, so believe me I sympathize, but dammit it'd be nice to get through a test without focusing on the scratching of pencils and decorational posters on the wall more than the paper in front of me.
Also, this thread is still active, which is interesting.
Disclaimer: I am not a special education specialist and/or child psychologist. In fact, I don't even have a teaching license anymore.
I would say that it can't hurt to look into it. If you think you'll benefit from having separate testing environments, there's no harm in contacting your guidance counselor now and finding out. However, be warned, it can be difficult given the fact you are going into your senior year. If you've had ADHD for a long time without an IEP, they may be resistant to creating one now.
On the flipside, talk with your teachers. A lot of times, if a student came to me with a reasonable request or asked me a favor (when they didn't have a history of abusing them), I'd be willing to accommodate how I could. In classes that I knew were distracting, I'd regularly split my class between two rooms when possible just to reduce the distraction.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 22:33:50 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks!
Full disclosure: My stepmother is currently going to college for her special education degree, my aunt works in the same field, and my sister has autism. I know more about the IEP system than I really care to, but I wanted to hear from someone who generally dislikes the system.
Thanks for the advice, Red?
_Bones · -2 points · Posted at 09:37:42 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha. My wife was a special ed teacher and .. she didn't hate IEPs. She used them as tools to help the kids she was responsible for.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 09:11:07 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had an IEP in elementary school and middle school because I had dysgraphia. It was a pretty easy accommodation, though. It just said that I had to be allowed to take extra time on tests, I couldn't be made to write in cursive, nor could my grade be negatively affected by my handwriting, and that if I asked for a computer to type on, they had to let me use it. I also had to go to special handwriting classes once a week.
I hated it though... it made me feel dumb to take extra time and I was such an outcast in elementary school I hated doing anything that would make me stand out (like using a laptop). It was just horribly frustrating. I had a 147 IQ and the vocabulary of someone twice my age and a complete inability to express myself in writing. But I saw as something I had to work through that I shouldn't bother others with.
However, as much as I hated taking advantage of my situation, when I look back, I wish I'd told someone about the 6th grade teacher I had who threatened to fail me for not writing in cursive and accidentally mirroring 5 and 6 (they are literally the only numbers that face right). That bitch made me cry.
i understand how you feel with the complete inability yo express yourself in writing because i can't express myself like that ether.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 02:33:39 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was looking at some of my high school records and apparently I had a 504 for work distractions, witch by what I read on the paper was when I was working I could not be bothered or I would go in to a anxiety attack, I've never had an anxiety attack nor did I go to a meeting or whatever for a 504.
I hate that this is the case. I have a 504 for OCPD, anxiety, and ADHD. All of my teachers dread teaching me before they get to know me simply based on that. I'm the valedictorian of 550 students, attending an Ivy League next year, and so forth... but quite a few kids on 504s give the rest of us a bad name. It's highly annoying.
I thought you said that you hadn't decided what school you were attending yet? One of your two stated top schools is not even in the Northeast. You also said that you didn't have a definitive diagnosis between OCD and OCPD.
I swear for every kid in the system with a legitimate mental disorder that needs care and special attention, there's another moron/jackass who essentially have a "generic learning disorder" label slapped onto them and they get babied and given special attention and allowed to get away with being a uncontrollable/lazy/a complete Kevin. They take time and resources away from kids who actually need the help and their own problems, unrelated to any disorder, only get worse.
Also, somebody needs to get their shit together. Even Yugioh cards are worded better than 504s.
I have been laughing so hard at this thread until right now...
it scares me to think your former district would throw 504's at students who were entitled to IEP's under SED. With an IEP they would be having FBA's done and you could work with them a hell of a lot better then taking them to the copy room
504s were commonly abused because parents and guardians knew how incredibly flexible they were. My district had no backbone when it came to things like that. In her case, she had a huge anger issue that stemmed from the fact she never got told "No" and had never really been held accountable for anything. She didn't need an IEP or a 504. She needed a reality check.
This is correct, but it's extremely rare since typically....if you need accommodations for above-average intelligence, you just go to a better school with a better program entirely.
IEPs covered ANY modification to a student's education outside the typical scope of a normal classroom.
I don't know what a better school has to do with it. I went to the best schools in my state and I had IEP conferences every year. I was in the gifted program.
And it wasn't rare at all. It was required for every student in the gifted program as gifted is considered special ed. (at least in my state).
In Virginia, you only get one if you'd require something above and beyond normal classroom content. If you are in a gifted program, the things you'd need are already part of it, therefore the IEP is moot.
In 4 years, I had one student with an IEP for anything like that. Hers basically stipulated that she was on the roster for a Calculus class, but was actually taking DE college stat or something. Otherwise, most kids who would be considered gifted went to schools in our district with magnet or IB programs.
Yeah, it differs from state to state. I've heard some districts go as far as having an IEP for every student across the board, which seems like a nightmare.
-Baker · 2 points · Posted at 05:41:53 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seriously, it's been five months. I think that this might be the longest running thread on reddit
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:04:19 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a 504, but that was a carry-over from when young me had trouble sitting still with my ADHD. It was basically that if I needed to do a lap around the class, I could do so, as long as I don't interrupt the teachers lesson too much. And sometimes I did.
Not entirely related, but as an ADHDer with an IEP all for years of high school, I want to thank you and every other teacher that bends over backwards to help people like myself get an education and a fair chance. I can't imagine 11 or 12 IEPs to work with in one class. Good on ya.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:39:52 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
egonil · 4 points · Posted at 22:48:19 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be like the Truman Show, but he would have absolutely no chance of escaping. In fact, considering the enormous odds against his family surviving the world, he might actually be in some type of quantum truman show scenario.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:48:00 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow, that's an actual sub. And it has existed since way before this thread.
jj7878 · 35 points · Posted at 20:54:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well if he spits at you, you'll know he likes you back
The check was for $20k. I don't know what he did for a living, but like I said elsewhere, both Mr. and Mrs. Kevin's Parents appeared to have actual careers. I am pretty sure that she was a physical therapist and whatever his dad did paid well enough that they lived in a nice neighborhood, drove nice cars, and wore nice clothes.
On the topic of his parents though, they came off as forgetful or flighty for the most part. Based on their socio-economic status, I'm under the impression that while flaky in most regards, but there was something they were both savant level at or something.
Way late to the party, but we have a guy at our accounting firm who I wouldn't trust to run across the street and buy a cup of coffee. He wears velcro sneakers, and in general looks like he could be homeless.
This motherfucker is an excel genius. I mean... It is completely insane how good this guy knows the program. He can build the most complex spreadsheets, and he is a legitimate asset to the company. He earns a good paycheck
I have to wonder if he deliberately screwed everything up and dressed weirdly in order to never be asked to do anything than Excel, which from the sound of it he could knock off by 10am every day and then go surf the web or something.
This is surprisingly accurate. I got the feeling that Kevin was, at one point in his life, of normal intelligence.....but found that being an idiot got him attention. As time passed, his game of pretending to be an idiot caught up to him. After a sufficient number of years passed that he just screwed off, he was no longer pretending....and was from that point on, a genuine idiot.
That was me until 11th grade. Kid needs help but is way to concerned that he will be perceived negatively by his peers. Nobody is that dumb and not actually retarded.
No one can force themselves to be eating a box of crayons and not being able to tell the difference between a grown lab and cat idiot. Maybe he was dropped on his head or something.
I have a genius-level IQ and rarely if ever earned less than a 100 (out of 100) on anything in school up 'til the 6th grade. Why 6th grade? Well, I also got beaten up a lot, and my parents told me it was because the other kids were jealous of how smart I was -- so I started getting things wrong on purpose so they'd like me. And it's like you said -- after that, it suddenly became really hard to get 100s again for a long time. I got back to it, mostly, by about the 10th grade or so -- but by then I had other problems...
You should write a book. I'm serious. Not only is this written hilariously, I'm sure there's plenty more. And I'm dying to know...what the hell did Kevin's dad and/or mom do for a living?
I don't know what his dad did, but his mom was some kind of physical therapist. Both Mr. and Mrs. Kevin's Parents drove nice cars and based on his address, he lived in a relatively nice area. In my head, I pretend they were Michael Scott-esque.
[deleted] · 60 points · Posted at 23:11:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So his parents were crazy absent minded and produced the pinnacle of low IQ?
Average for a high school boy with little self awareness. He wore clean clothes and appeared to at least get badgered into taking showers and brushing his teeth. Like many guys his age though, he did have a problem wearing deodorant and instead masking his "scent" with Axe body spray.
The gum in his hair usually got fixed overnight, though a few times the "fix" was a haircut.
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 20:16:14 on May 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
He got gum in his hair regularly enough that you could see a pattern in the resolution? I am literally crying laughing.
PS I know this post is old. I saved it and I read every time I need a good solid laugh.
Kevin sounds like he is autistic. I work with clients with autism and his behavior matches perfectly. Hopefully he got help at some point because I've seen people with similar behaviors improve quite significantly. They just need to be worked with some and then it's easier to see that they are just as unique and interesting as anyone else.
That was what most of us (ie: his teachers) thought, but no one seemed to diagnose him with anything. He learned just like everyone else, but never appeared actually utilize it or make decisions based on it. It was as if his brain was set on selective Write-only mode.
Foetal alcohol syndrome? People with FAS often have poor judgment and decision-making skills, they can learn but don't seem to be able to link cause and effect well.
Psionx0 · 116 points · Posted at 00:29:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he had long term memory consolidation issues, that probably wouldn't be picked up by your average school psychologist. That could also explain the lack of long term learning.
But if a school psychologist isn't going to pick it up, then who? Especially considering there's often 1 school psychologist for entire districts.
Psionx0 · 116 points · Posted at 00:44:02 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be a Clinical Psychologist. School psychologists typically only look for learning disabilities as defined by the federal education code (title 34 IIRC). Because long term memory consolidation issues are not technically a learning disability, the school psychologist is under no mandate to look for it. I have ethical issues with that (hence why I'm not a school psychologist).
So, this brings us to the real issue. Often there is only one school psychologist for an entire district. They can only look for so much. The tests they use are often quick to administer and score. Also, if the school identifies a child who has an LD, they are required to address it. Since long term memory consolidation issues aren't considered learning disabilities the school simply has no requirement to look for them, nor would they fund the time to do it.
There are two types of memory, long and short term. Short term memory and long term memory. Short term memory really consists of only a few seconds of time. Then that information moves to a different part of your cognitive processes and either gets forgotten, or encoded into a memory that will last longer than 10 or 15 seconds that can be easily retrieved later.
You're supposed to be able to remember various things. What you had for dinner last night, the last time you went to the store or doctor, who the current president is, the route to work, etc. All of these things are long term memories.
Some people have a problem translating short term memories into long term memories. So, you can be talking to this person while having lunch, and while the event is happening they are completely aware you're having lunch together. You call them the next day and they have a vague memory of having lunch with... someone yesterday. You call them a week later and they can't remember having a lunch at all on Monday. So somewhere in their complex memory system, something fucked up, and they can't remember specific information longer than a day or so.
This can easily be caught in a couple hours of testing. Usually people begin to show long term memory deficits with information that is just 30 minutes old.
Umpire · 2 points · Posted at 04:04:09 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would suspect that the parents did not push to go see the right Doctors that could diagnose this. Or if a Dr. did make a referral, they just ignored it.
Thank you for this. I'm currently in college second guessing myself on becoming an english teacher and you helped me decide. I definitely want to teach! Again thank you.
he sounds like "sammy" from my old school, he walked into the nurses office as calm as could be with an exacto knife sticking out of his palm... "I think i need a doctor Nurse Kelly..."
Lackest · 8 points · Posted at 16:51:55 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dunno, that kid just sounds like someone in shock, or trying to be cute.
It was interesting and at times hilarious, but unfortunately, when I say he didn't have a single redeeming quality....I mean it. He was rude, mean, and stupid. He was "enabled" by his parents insofar as that they didn't seem to even understand what he was doing, why it was bad, or how they could stop it. The very fact that they somehow had jobs (and decent ones at that) lead me to believe that somewhere in there was just enough intelligence to earn a paycheck. However, by all observation and evidence presented, it was just as likely as him revealing the entire thing to be an elaborate hoax designed to QC the education process.
I wish I could say I hope he does okay, but I don't....because I care too much about our genetic pool. (Shockingly, or not shockingly at all, he was a father before he dropped out recently)
She was smart and came from a relatively normal family (dad was military), but like most kids her age....she was rebellious and had a self-destructive streak. It's a shame, but honestly, of the guys I knew she had "courting her" (hae beb, u wntsumfuk?)...Kevin was not the worst choice. For all of Kevin's faults and stupidity, he didn't get wrapped up in drugs or anything particularly bad. He was just dumb and had a dick that worked.
I would pay to watch this family grow up, i imagine it like this.
Camera shows baby eating a crayon as wornout looking mother runs to stop it, out of the corner of your eye you catch Kevin in the background also eating crayons.
Thank you, but I only lasted 4 years before I called it quits. Now, Middle School teachers are the true saints. The real problem high school kids start dropping out or getting arrested.....middle school kids are stuck there regardless of what they want to do.
go to one of the more hardcore middle schools. I did some volunteer work for 2 weeks at a really tough inner-city school when I was in college. this place was nuts, on one hand you had some of the brightest children I've ever seen (these were fifth graders) and on the other hand you had children who had some smarts but were just too deep into the ghetto mindset to make anything of themselves. I mean it was bad, a lot of these kids were clearly lost causes at the age of 11 which to me at that age was unimaginable.
one kid threatened to hold a girl down at lunch and "ram his cock down her throat" (remember, 5th grade). cops were called and he never came back. at least not for the time I spent there.
Reminds me of a classmate in middle school. He was a known trouble student, arrested for violent crime several times. By the end of the final year of middle school they had him doing half days at school, the rest in juvie. Never heard from him after that.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 09:21:37 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to high school with a kid who shared a lot of these traits. One time he wrapped his head in duct tape in the middle of class because he thought he'd look like a mummy. The teacher had me take him to the bathroom and cut his hair to remove it....
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 17:09:09 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
this is the funniest thing I've ever read. and I am NOT young.
I REALLY want to know more about Kevin and not just for the laugh but I'm deeply curious about what was wrong with him and his family. It's the most unique disability I've ever read about. Any idea what Kevin is doing now?
k5berry · 31 points · Posted at 21:55:24 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know no one is reading this, but I feel compeled to put my thoughts down before I can no longer comment: What. The. Fuck. I cannot even comprehend how this can be real, but I know you can't make this up. But seriously. I wonder if he had a mental illness, or if he was honestly just that crazy. There is no way someone can do somany stupid things! Not just a very "not bright" person, but the magnitude of these things! They're insane. I mean I can kind of think of a person who just literally doesn't even think of anything. They just do anything with absolutely no ration or reason or thought whatsoever. But I can barely comprehend it. It's so hard to believe that someone and his fucking parents can be so equally insane and mentally deficient. I really feel bad for him
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 09:30:32 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a mix of reactions. Some were frustrated by his activities. They didn't like that their class time was getting interrupted by Kevin. Others tried to push him to do dumb shit (which I honestly think was the reason for the crayons, the koolaide, and a couple other incidents) because they knew he'd do it. Others were just indifferent to it.
[deleted] · 41 points · Posted at 21:17:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't get it. A lot of these were really funny but this doesn't sound like a dumb kid with dumb parents so much as a kid with a mental disability or learning disability with parents who've the same. I can't be the only one wondering if that's it, right?
What... no, HOW, could his parents possibly hold any sort of job down and still support themselves? Where did they get money? How did they know not to eat the money or accidentally bury it in the back yard?
tubbo · 3 points · Posted at 21:33:32 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he can't even spell his name it sounds more like he has some sort of retardation or something. I have friends with little to no "socially functioning" issues - more like just issues reading or learning - and they're all in Special Ed. I can't imagine someone with no memory past 2nd grade being allowed to remain in the main school program.
Kevin wasn't retarded. He was just an idiot. It's difficult to convey exactly what a day with him was like, but believe me when I say, while he was many things....retarded was not one of them. He could read and write around the same level of his classmates, and did okay with certain assignments (once we got through the whole cats vs dogs thing, he eventually understood personification and could identify it, use it, etc.....he just never did the assignments for it and didn't take the test because he was suspended for getting in a fight with a bus driver)
I poked fun at him over his name regularly though because he had a unique spelling of an otherwise common name. The choice in vowels made it look like he misspelled it every time he wrote it. Hence my comment about him not being able to spell "Kevin". My last name is an extremely uncommon Scandinavian family name and kids tripped over it endlessly. Kevin was one of the only ones who actually said it correctly the first time....but god have mercy if he ever tried to spell it.
Feel even worse about my highschool super-virginity now. Not that I wish I'd been a teen dad, but fuck sake if this guy could get his hole.. retrospective kick in the balls.
What if Kevin's great grandfather was Jesus second comming. Instead of saving everyone Jesus just went with "let's fuck with em.". Now Kevin's family will always survive because they are literally blessed by god.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 11:02:46 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Heh, only sorta kinda. He'd write his name ANYWHERE there was room....in front of me. He wouldn't erase the other student's name or put his anywhere logical.
Honestly, it had more to do with kids like his classmates and their parents. Kevin and his kin were relatively easy to deal with. He was just the right balance of mean, stupid, and lazy to where nothing he did really derailed anything I had going on. It was the kids who were "smart but too lazy to do work" types that got me. Like I mentioned elsewhere, most days with him were either really easy or really quick. I think most referrals I wrote about him were in the first 10 minutes before we even finished the Do Now assignment or warm-up. If I got past that without Kevin being a problem, it was usually smooth sailing from then on out. His classmates, Tweedle-D and Tweedle-F, were far less predictable and could make an entire class period feel like an eternity.
Pro Tip: If you are "smart but lazy", you aren't smart. You are just lazy. I hear it all the time, especially here on Reddit. "I was intelligent, but I just didn't care about school...." Smart people know that high school is a game, and an easy one at that. If you play the game, your life will be easier and you will be able to do more that you want.
Not doing work = Stupid? I understand this from a fundamental stand point but isn't entirely possible that you can be smart and not do school work? I don't know what to think of my life anymore.
I feel like him saying it's a game means that if you're smart you can easily succeed in high school while doing minimal work by figuring out how to play.
Or forgot to breathe, checked for a gas leak by lighting a match, got confused about which color traffic light meant 'stop' and which one meant 'go'...
Rof96 · 3 points · Posted at 01:04:38 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy who shot up peanut oil to slow the flow of blood to his brain to keep him in a constant state of being "high". He's dead now (not from the peanut oil, drug overdose a few years later).
Amorne3 · 265 points · Posted at 07:11:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You sure it wasnt any kind of an anabolic substance? They come in oil. Maby he told you it was peanut oil just so you wouldn't know.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 13:45:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know how shooting up peanut oil would be any better.
You could say he was a real LEGUME case haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaww man i'm depressed
Perhaps, but had you met the guy - well - there's not much I'd put past him. Several acquaintances informed me that they'd caught him jerking off the dog, once right in the middle of a party.
beener · 1 points · Posted at 13:00:33 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It totally works, dude, you should try it. Make sure to heat the oil to your internal body temperature so it can get up to the same speed as your blood as soon as it goes in. Then the extra weight of the oil produces drag on your blood cells and the whole system slows right down.
Intravenous drug users get into "needle romancing," especially heroin users, and especially when they do not have any drugs to use. They shoot all sorts of shit into their veins, usually just water, and mostly because the ritual of injecting something (anything) creates a very subtle, but always disappointing, high.
That's ok. I knew a kid who once said these words in front of me. 'yea I got some of the cotton I use to shoot up into my blood stream. It makes you sick. But that's OK I'll just shoot up more and power through it.'
I had to look this up, its apparently a widely held belief that you accidently get cotton from shooting up in your bloodstream but it's actually bacteria from the cotton.
Can't hold it against the guy, his dad is filthy rich and his version of being a father is to hate his son but give him lots of money. He's in pharmaceuticals. Fuck that asshole.
Yup. I followed up by using a number line to teach them how to add and subtract positive and negative numbers. I don't know how they let people like this graduate high school.
Still, the student was friendly and actually trying to learn. I'd rather work with that kind of student on first-grade math than help someone taking calculus who doesn't even try to think.
tricet · 8 points · Posted at 21:23:05 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
In fairness, I'm a relatively young adult (23 in a few weeks) and we didn't start learning even the concept of negative numbers until 5th grade, learning operations with negative numbers (add, subtract, multiply, divide) until 6th grade. I'm seeing a lot of things in discussions of education lately where redditors are saying things like "rah rah algebra rah rah it's second grade level" and I'm just like... not in most American public schools, and especially not in the last 15 years or so. My brother's only five years behind me and I don't even recognize the methods they use to teach addition of multiple numbers now. I couldn't even figure out what they were trying to get at with how they were writing it, so I couldn't help him with his homework. I tried to teach him the way most people learned (line up all four numbers vertically, mental math down each column) but he got a zero on that paper because the teacher said he was doing the work with the wrong method. This was about 10 years ago now, when he was in 2nd grade.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:18:03 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is when a good older sibling goes to the younger kid's teacher and kicks the living shit out of the teacher for being a complete and utter asshole.
tricet · 6 points · Posted at 16:12:36 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah cos that's what my life needed at fifteen, expulsion and an assault charge. :p
Tbf, it wasn't even the teacher's fault; they were being forced to teach common core by the district and that ridiculous curriculum required it.
I peer-reviewed a paper for an English Comp II class (as in, this brainiac had to pass one class before getting into this one) that looked as if it were written by a third grader. Short, incomplete sentences, about how he wanted to be a history teacher. I had many doubts that guy was going to graduate on time.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:01:00 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
College tutor here. I do this sort of thing pretty often. Some colleges basically let you in if you have a pulse and a checkbook.
Honestly - sometimes, by that point, you really just haven't used any of those techniques for a couple of years. I can obviously add four numbers together, but it takes me far longer than it should do just because I rarely have to add shit up.
In my intro to Java class our first or second homework assignment was to write a function (or are they called methods in Java? it's been a long time) to do that for us.
I know a guy who got a composite score of 4 on his ACT. I know, it sounds impossible. I thought it was too, but I was at his house when his mom got the mail with his score on there, and I saw the piece of paper myself.
This made me so sad. Kids, do your homework. I got a 36 in science, 34 math and 33 English (those last two might be backwards, it was almost 20 years ago). On the SAT [back when it was out of 1600] I got 790 math and 720 English.... but got such bad grades from refusing to do homework that I couldn't get into a real college :(
I was friends in high school with a guy that (in general) wanted nothing to do with most human socialization, including going to classes or doing homework. He learned somehow that he could go to college for "Forestry" (essentially a degree for lumberjacks) so he took his SATs hungover/still drunk, without any preparation, and got a perfect score. After convincing the local community college to take him in, he graduated, and is now very successful. Go figure.
That's because being smart isn't even close to enough in college. I hope that you, like me, matured and began managing your time. You certainly can't go to college simply based on being smart.
4/36. Basically, instead of picking random answers because he knew he didn't know the answers, he made "educated guesses" and deliberately picked the wrong answers.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 17:00:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
nandhp · -2 points · Posted at 23:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The sections are out of 18 points, the composite score is out of 36.
Unless it has changed that's not true. I got a 34 on one of the sections.
nandhp · 1 points · Posted at 19:44:05 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You are absolutely correct. Subscores are apparently something else entirely. Sorry; it's been a few years since I took the ACT. I should read more carefully....
The ACT is one of the two college entrance exams in the US. The ACT has a maximum score of 36. A bit of quick Googling showed me that the average score in 2009 was 21.1. From what I know of others scores, that sounds about right.
More googling showed that having a score between 1-11 means you are in the lowest 1% of the nation. It is commonly believed in my area (although I haven't found any conclusive evidence to prove or disprove this) that the only way to score below a 7, is if you lack the ability to fill out your personal information properly. Knowing this guy, that wouldn't be too surprising.
nandhp · 1 points · Posted at 23:13:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
The ACT is a college entrance exam in the US (it competes with the more famous SAT), the overall score is between 1 and 36 and is a sum of four subscores in the range of 1 to 18.
I knew a guy that got a 30 on his ACT, he celebrated by doing the moonwalk in English class, falling back into a desk and yelled at it.
This other guy got a 34 and went on to take shots of vodka through the eye claiming since it was closer to his brain than his mouth it would get him drunk faster
Fat short cunt from my school got a six on the ACT, and another fat shit who took the elevator because he couldn't walk up stairs got a four.
Wish I was kidding.
calzenn · 478 points · Posted at 08:30:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The guy who wound up wanting to fight me because I was explaining to him that calamari was Italian for squid. He insisted people do not ever, ever eat squid...
The delightful conversation with a man who insisted all zebras in Africa are extinct, although I had just returned from there with photographic evidence from just two weeks before.
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 14:39:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just curious… it sounds from the way you tell it, that he at least knew that calamari is a thing… so what did he think it was?
Movie? You are missing out there is more than one! The two best are Holy Grail and Life of Brian, Meaning of Life is funny as well as is 'And Now For Something Completely Different', but not quite as good as the first two.
I feel ya I had an english teacher that didn't believe in gravity, a college student I had to explain why the earth revolved around the sun and was not stationary, and had two science teachers that didn't believe in evolution. Oh place where I live you are fun.
Wait! That was my teacher's reasoning! Penguins couldn't be birds because they have fur. People just have difficultly grasping concepts which fall out of the very narrow idea of normal that they have constructed.
Alright, so I'm pretty good at science, but biology wasn't very interesting to me.
So perhaps you can explain why a bird is not a type of mammal? I shouldn't be surprised that they're mutually exclusive, but I'm not aware of the criteria.
So why aren't platypi considered flightless/wingless birds? Do they have reptilian reproductive systems or something (the only other specific in the bird category above)? Is it just because they have mammary glands?
The trait that is most defining (at least in terms of classifying fossils, but applies here) is that mammals have 3 middle ear bones. You can read more about how that makes mammals different here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution_of_mammalian_auditory_ossicles. Basically, the middle ear bones are something all mammals share. Evolutionary biologists were able to trace back fossil records to determine when that evolution happened (approximately) and a fossil history of creatures that "evolved into" mammals.
The whole concept of a mammal is a somewhat arbitrary point in evolution where we decide that all ancestors with 3 middle ear bones are mammals. Mammary glands could have been a requirement, but then many fossils would be up for debate as to how to classify them. Using bones as a classification criteria makes it very clear.
That's not so bad. The definition of meat is more of an idea than a fact. I mean yes, meat technically is flesh from an animal, but when you are thinking about food, the technical definition barely matters. To many people, meat refers to the flesh of land animals. It's kind of like how tomatoes technically aren't vegetables but it isn't stupid to call them that.
I personally do not consider fish to be meat. I am entirely aware that they were once alive, but I do not put them in the category of meat. Most of that is due to me growing up Kosher. The distinction between meat and not meat in Judaism is very strict and fish is firmly in the not meat category. I'm not Kosher anymore but I still do not associate fish with meat.
It's not really dumb, per se, just has to do with how you comprehend food, if that makes any sense.
Would you call clams meat?
DemonDZ · 10 points · Posted at 13:12:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I first read this I was about to go into aspergers rage, then I looked stuff up and you are absolutely right. Meat is not a scientific term or anything, it's just a word that people use to describe food which definition changes depending on region and culture. Thank you man.
1 a : food ; especially : solid food as distinguished from drink b : the edible part of something as distinguished from its covering (as a husk or shell) 2 : animal tissue considered especially as food: a flesh 2b ; also : flesh of a mammal as opposed to fowl or fish b : flesh 1a ; specifically :flesh of domesticated animals 3 : 1meal 1 ; especially :dinner 4 a : the core of something : heart b : pith 2b <a novel with meat> 5 : favorite pursuit or interest
I don't mean to disrespect your religion but it is definitely meat. just because a religion views something differently then the rest of the world doesn't change the fact.
Shit, that's the opposite of what Jews did. They decided chicken was meat because people might think they were hypocrites otherwise. And now Jews can't have Chicken Parmesan.
As the saying goes, it's a mountain of laws held by a single thread.
h4mi · 1 points · Posted at 19:02:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And Beavers iirc
m4nu · 4 points · Posted at 14:26:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It isn't a fact. It's a cultural construct.
I remember I was in Spain and this chick ordered a vegetarian plate, though she ordered it "without meat". She still got the chicken because poultry isn't meat.
Anyway, in most Catholic countries, fish and meat aren't the same thing. You're supposed to give up meat during lent, and you can still eat fish.
Some people's culture don't consider poultry(chicken meat) to be meat and fish(fish meat) to be meat. I just don't understand that reasoning. Um what do carnivorous animals eat? Any one would answer meat. So if a carnivore only eats fish he is not eating meat..... wtf. It makes no sence people try to justify the reasoning but it's still and old outdated misinformed veiw.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:22:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
fish is fish, meat is meat.
If the name confuses you to much, call it meat and smeat
I'm not really Jewish anymore, so I don't take it is as disrespectful of that. All I'm saying is that the way you perceive food is not always attached to what it is strictly. I would never correct someone who calls fish meat, but I wouldn't myself.
Are you one of those people who corrects people calling tomatoes vegetables?
Kingdom- Animalia
Phylum- Mollusca
Class- Bivalvia
If it is an animal then I call it meat so yes a clam is meat. I know a tomato is actually a fruit but it is still a plant either way. Also strawberries are closely related to roses. So what? They are all plants just like all fish are animals. That's like saying I don't eat dog but I eat pugs because they are not dogs. I just don't see how someone preceiving food as a different type makes it not what it actually is scientifically.
This acknowledges that meat can mean different things to different people. For example, you probably consider, by your definition, cow stomach or something to be meat and I would too. But others may not.
This is a silly thing to Reddit-argue about. But, you know, anything to procrastinate on my paper.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:43:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd call it fish or seafood. Fish is a category by itself, there are hundreds of kinds of fish.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:06:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ive always just considered fish meat. Google/Wikipedia defines it as "Meat is animal flesh that is eaten as food". Fish is an animal and is eaten all around the world, therefore it is meat
Anyone remember that awesome show, "Dinosaurs" from way back when? I feel it is slightly relevant here.
Earl: As you can see, I have separated all known dinosaur wisdom into three categories: "Animal, vegetable, rocks."
Robbie: Well, what about fire?
Earl: Vegetable.
Charlene: What about water?
Earl: Water is the opposite of fire, which we have previously established as a vegetable. What's the opposite of a vegetable? Fruit. So water is a fruit. Fruit is not a vegetable, so it has to be either an animal or a rock. We know it's not an animal. Therefore, fruit is a rock.
There's nothing wrong with disrespecting an ideology that spreads misinformation. Just because some people blindly adhere to it doesn't make it less ridiculous.
It's not misinformation though, and it's not all that ridiculous. It's just a difference in semantics. It's not like my former Judaism has forever purged all logic from me and I don't blindly adhere to not considering fish meat because of the Jewish god. I'm not even religious anymore!
And I have to say, I don't think of a salmon all that differently than, say, a cow even if I consider one meat and one seafood. I don't really understand "pescatarians" or whatever because fish are definitely animals.
On a reddit-controversial note, why are certain animals like dogs, cats, and horses not okay to eat when pigs and cows are? Isn't it just as hypocritical as someone saying they won't eat meat because its unethical but then eating salmon? I'm not asking you to answer that because I can't assume your opinion and it's not really relevant.
We grow aliigator meat in the US. Also, large populations in Asia eat dogs. It's not like it's not done but it rubs us the wrong way. I don't really think eating dogs is unethical and I might even do it but there are people who would hate me for that.
I realize the cultural reasons for European food habits I just think it's ethically inconsistent to not eat meat because its unethical but then eat fish, or to get angry at other cultures for eating certain animals (dogs, horse) but still eat other animals.
My mom once tried to argue with me that muscle tissue isn't meat until it's dead and cut up. I told her that if a tiger caught her and started eating her alive, it'd still be eating meat.
Some people's culture don't consider poultry(chicken meat) to be meat and fish(fish meat) to be meat. I just don't understand that reasoning. Um what do carnivorous animals eat? Any one would answer meat. So if a carnivore only eats fish he is not eating meat..... wtf. It makes no sence people try to justify the reasoning but it's still and old outdated misinformed veiw.
Hehe I also had to explain to a college student that the earth was not stationary. They didn't believe it was because he believed we would be blown off. So yeah had to explain gravity.
No. The Catholic Church teaches that all animals that live in the water count as fish. This is why puffin, crocodile, and capybara are allowed to be eaten during Lent.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:12:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll live 1 hour of flying distance from Vatican, a Catholic Church may be teaching that but certainly not all of them do, can you provide some source of that held belief?
rp23 · 3 points · Posted at 12:19:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I live less than an hour from the oldest running railway track in Europe. I don't claim to be an expert in it just because of my proximity though.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:49:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The point I was making is that I'm near the historical biggest catholic influence, surely I would've encountered the view that all sea animals are fish especially since I had mandatory Catholicism class in elementary school and for 2 years in high school.
Hence I doubt it's currently the central part of the Catholic Church as a whole but rather the teachings of a particular catholic church.
rp23 · 2 points · Posted at 13:21:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oooohh fair enough, I though you were just making the proximity=expertise argument, ignore me.
I put the kibosh on no meat for Good Friday when I was 3.
We were at grandma's, and when I was given a bowl of cheerios at breakfast, I proclaimed, "I want bacon!"
So she cooked bacon for me, and of course the other 5 kids in the house wanted bacon too, and soon there was so much bacon frying that the teens and adults present became distinctly unhappy with their meagre breakfasts. She must have seen their glum faces, and so she just kept on frying. She has a strong sense of equality and justice.
The next year the precedent had been set, bacon was planned well in advance because the latest crop of babies were sure to kick up a fuss, so why not head them off at the pass?
"Did you know Poland was the only country not affected by World War II?"
"Hitler wasn't a bad guy, they just gave him the wrong job."
"I like cows; they're cute and they have big eyes, but I don't like horses. They're big and they look like cows."
"Wine that comes in plastic is fancier than wine that comes in glass bottles, because plastic has more technology."
As my brother is cooking her a filet mignon, she looks at the steak in the pan for a minute before asking, "Is that the whole fish?"
Hamby44 · 1357 points · Posted at 04:04:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's a dirty hippy, and she lets him go about a week before she forces him to shower. Also, he's got the ability to completely block her out while seeming to be paying attention.
That's not really good enough for a relationship (for me). When you share your life with someone you would hope it is amongst equals. But to humans are interesting and we may pick our partners based on other factors like self esteem and physical attractiveness.
I understand what you mean. I like to be able to have an intellectual conversation with my partner, but other people look for different traits rather than intelligence. Each to their own, I guess.
You people fail to see that those who do harmless stupid things or say stupid stuff can't be good human beings. And anyone who likes such a person is only doing it for their looks. How shallow.
[deleted] · 117 points · Posted at 04:42:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this one dumb girl I knew from high school claimed that Hitler was misunderstood because he loved animals, therefore he couldn't have been that bad of a guy.
A girl my daughter went to school with says she's related to Hitler. According to her, he's not a bad guy when you get to know him, she didn't understand why so many people hated him.
He (at least claimed to) believe he was in the moral right, leading the nazis to conquer their enemies and the world in the name of creating utopia. Killing his dog? The one everyone thought he loved? Well not even Hitler can't see that's not something the good guy does...
According to Wikipedia, the dogs death affected people more than Eva Brauns. Which is good. Hitlerarently was inconsolable when she died, so he seems to have learned his lesson.
Kind of was afterwards, Germania was his Mona Lisa.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 05:40:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Did you know Poland was the only country not affected by World War II?"
You fucking can not make this shit up.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 20:34:36 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
That one's impressive because not only is it wrong, but also because Poland was one of the most affected countries: the invasion of Poland is more often than not considered the beginning of the war and Polish casualties were only surpassed by Chinese, German, and Soviet casualties.
guppyd · 5 points · Posted at 13:06:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How does this happen? No honestly, I really want to know how someone grows up learning these things. No one just thinks these things, someone told her. Upsetting.
"Looks aren't enough" is a heinous slander propagated by ugly people with other talents. Just like how the aristocracy tried to impose 'honorable' warfare on the peasant class that just so happened to emphasize fighting in a way that was really, really beneficial to the side with a stronger, larger, better-equipped fighting force. You seek to demonize the strengths of others to better enhance the value of your assets!
Just who do you think you are, huh? Going 'round here, saying "Oh, look at hottie over here, but you know what? She doesn't know math!" Who cares? Math is for nerds! Let the nerds do the math! "Oh, look at this guy with his classic good looks, but can he do a dissertation on 15th century English literature?" What does that matter? Seriously, beyond the looks thing, can someone tell me why that matters?
My point is, don't fall prey to the propaganda of the uggos! The fuglies! The Rebeccas and Georges of the world! Let them have their 'science' and 'working hard' just as you get to have bikini-clad beach parties and six-pac abs! Let them co-exist in harmony! Don't give in to hate and intolerance, give in to basic animal lust!
"looks aren't enough" doesnt mean they have to be good at math or have other talents. but i'd say looks dont compensate for the shit that comes out of that girls mouth
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 09:59:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The entertainment quickly turns to extreme frustration, because she never stops talking and argues these ridiculous points as if everyone else were being fooled by popular opinion. She's cool by me though, she's forever bringing me food and painted me a picture of Rocko for my birthday.
There's arguments that he was never made aware of the entire Holocaust thing, he was still terrible and racist, but he might not have been aware of the rate of the atrocities outside of them just being interment camps and that that part was Himmler's doing. It should be united that interment camps alone weren't that taboo as evidenced by the US's use of them.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Hitler wasn't a bad guy, they just gave him the wrong job."
I mean, in a way that's very true. Imagine if he had been a guidance counselor for the arts department at Vienna University? The world would have been a very different place.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a person living in Poland I have to disagree - horses don't look like cows.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:53:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is adorable.
Your brother should start up a "shit my gf says" site and put some ads on it.
"Did you know Poland was the only country not affected by World War II?"
Related story: A classmate of mine claimed that white men cannot be discriminated against. My reaction: "Oh that's great! I'm gonna tell my great-grandfather the good news! Oh wait, he's a small pile of ash in Auschwitz..."
astomp · 1 points · Posted at 19:39:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think she's mistaking "fancier" for better preserved. Juice box type wine containers do keep better.
I can comment on the last one my grandmother was telling me a story about her friend and her went out with Rocky Marciano and they went to a Resturant and ordered 3 filet mignons and she coming from a poor family said I'm sorry I don't like fish.
I imagine this woman as a blonde, white, large-chested, 20-something-year-old living in North America getting by on good looks and tips from her slow-paced job at Starbucks.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:59:26 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is she hawt?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:04:39 on July 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jesus Christ I bet the only time she isn't annoying is when there's a dick in her mouth.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:41:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's it like not being able to tell if someone's joking?
Fresher yes, but classier? It's the same with twist offs. They're way better at making sure wine doesn't get corked but admitedly, using a corkscrew is such a part of the experience
I partially agree with the wine comment since the word "fancy" is subjective. Generally, plastics does have more technology than glasses. Plastics are made from carbon composits; they have many, many applications.
temaj · 0 points · Posted at 06:41:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I assume that your brother is now happily single? If he cares for his own intelligence level that is.
Poland was about as unaffected as my soft penis when I see Miley Cyrus degrade herself by twerking on TV.
wthat · 0 points · Posted at 07:59:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think she just has a sick sense of humor.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 11:44:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
>tfw drinking wine without technology...
L4NGOS · 0 points · Posted at 12:00:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This applies to many of the people described in this thread but I feel like her breathing permit should be revoked, or at the very least her breeding permit.
Not quite in her defence, but for the longest time I was baffled over 'how' chickens go about making the babies. The eggs I get, it's how they 'do it'. For some reason it never occurred to me cocks, well...had a cock.
I was in FFA in high school (used to stand for Future Farmers of America, but now promotes all forms of agricultural education) and, honestly, a shocking amount of people think that their food comes from a grocery store. They have no idea that it is grown/raised.
My ex thought all chicken eggs were un-grown chicks. Like each egg was fertilized and the yolk was the chick and we had to eat it before the expiry date to avoid cracking into a little baby chicken...
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 02:07:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We'll historically speaking Neanderthals ate ice and cheese!
My ex thought that chicken eggs being fertilized looked like this:
The hen lays an unfertilized, shell-less egg (?) in the nest. Then the rooster comes to sit on the unfertilized eggs, and in doing so, puts the shell on them. Like, the shell comes out of the rooster.
I'm pretty well convinced, by my own and the experiences of others with their middle school teachers, that school boards will basically just let anyone teach middle school.
I worked with this girl last summer, who was beyond dumb. At first it was amusing, but then it just got really sad.
We were talking about Nelson Mandela being really sick (this was in june) and she said "well I sure hope she'll be ok, her music is so good"
She thought WWII was between America and Africa. She thought potatoes could only grow in America and when asked what her boyfriends name was, she said "I can't really pronounce it - so I just call him Mike. He spells it like M I C H A E L"
No one will probably ever see this, but I'm pretty sure she was thinking Tracy Chapman. Her song, Fast Car, became a top 10 hit after being played at Nelson Mandela's 70th Birthday Tribute back in 1988. That is the ONLY reason that would ever feasibly mislead someone to believe that Nelson Mandela is a female singer.
Nukgci · 1 points · Posted at 07:07:03 on June 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was fighting there and I'm not disputing that at all, but saying that it was America vs Africa is like saying the Vietnam War was between England and Wales.
MLein97 · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My gut tells me her grandfather fought in North Africa and she got Eisenhower fighting in North Africa screwed up and didn't know that the North African campain was still part of fighting the Nazi's. She also might not have payed attention in school so she was only going off stories that her Grandfather was telling because she actually listened to those.
AlexEH · 2 points · Posted at 10:07:27 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
The icing on top is that Africa is a whole fucking continent. I love it haha
Well there was fighting in Northern Africa at the beginning of the war but it was fought by Europe and it was only for a couple years so she was partially right but for the most part, horribly wrong.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:19:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sadrik · 7 points · Posted at 08:10:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well about the boyfriend thingy.. if he is Jew then she is right.. she cant pronounce it, not Hebrew people just say "mikel" but the Hebrew name is said with a sound non existent in English, (the ch part)
source: Israeli Jew named Michael - and heard non Israeli people trying to say my name - they cant.
aitzim · 2 points · Posted at 18:27:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty sure it would be pronounced me-kah-el if you wanted to go with Hebrew name or replace 'kah' with 'cha' for more authenticity.
603g · 63 points · Posted at 03:54:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl who got a car stuck in the garage. the garage door was closed, and the power was out so she tried to maneuver the car out through the other garage door which was open.
Someone had to cut the garage to take the car out. Only a stupid spoiled rich brat would not know you could open the door manually.
603g · 6 points · Posted at 12:56:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
she got the car stuck I mean stuck stuck, between the two garage doors. they didn't cut the garage door, but literally the median support between the two doors.
Edit: there was a picture I am trying to find it. She could not get out of one door, so she tried to get out of the other garage door next to it. I wish U/awildsketchappeared could draw this.
This girl also did not know the difference between a lemon and an orange.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:25:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
603g · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jesus christ, I'm almost impressed. How'd she manage to austin powers the tiny space between two garage doors to the point that no one could get her back out?
... I really think I might just have to applaud her on that one, I certainly couldn't manage it.
Ah, odd. What I got from that was, "The electric opener wasn't working so she couldn't open the garage door open, but the other one was left open so she tried to get out of that one and wasn't able to. So some (other idiot) cut the garage door to help her our."
Given the thread we were in I guess I was just looking for extra stupid.
My fiance is kind of like this with historical events. She's otherwise of of the most wise and intelligent people I've ever met, but anything history related lost on her. She just has no interest in it and therefore doesn't register or retain the information. She had no idea that we (American here) won our independence from England. She knew we fought Germany in WWII but couldn't identify any other countries that participated on either side of the conflict. No idea who we fought in the War of 1812. It always freaks me out that someone so intelligent could not know these types of things. She just flat out does not care.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:41:26 on May 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
OMG that last one is somehow the stupidest one in this whole thread. Michael has gotta be the top most popular male name in the Western world. How. The fuck.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:41:55 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
"her music is so good" left me trying really hard not to laugh at work.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:08:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:45:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, depending on the language, the name Michael can be kinda hard to pronounce. In german it's pronounced "mee-'soft throaty hissing sound'-ah-ell" and I've never met a native english speaker who didn't just give up and said "mike" instead. Can't blame 'em.
It's a Polish joke. Granted you can substitute anyone you find stupid for Polish. It goes like this "Did you hear about the Polish space program's new mission to get to the sun?" "They're going to go at night so it doesn't get too hot."
So completely irrelevant story to the thread but I'm going to tell it anyway because you reminded me of it.
First for some background.
One of my best friends got into a truck accident...sort of. What happened is that he parked his truck on a hill and didn't put it in gear. (manual transmission) so it starts drifting over this hill, and he jumps in it to try to stop it. It goes over, and on the down the open door hit a tree and smashed him in the head.
Put him in a coma for 3 days, and he was out of it for weeks. After he came out of the coma, myself and other friends of his would go keep him company at the hospital. He was loopy as hell would tell ridiculous stories. At one point he tells me that he joined the Mexican space program and was assigned a mission to fly to the sun at night so he wouldn't burn up.
Months later all is well, he remembers nothing of the 2 or 3 weeks after the Coma. He's about to get a new tattoo and asks me if I had any ideas. I tell him about the mexican space program story that he'd told me, and suggest he gets the Starship Enterprise wearing a sombrero.
I'll be damned if he didn't do one better and go get a tattoo of it with the top part of the ship as a sombrero instead of wearing one.
Best tattoo ever.
TL;DR - friend talks shit after coming out of a coma, visits the sun at night. Gets a tattoo of the Mexican Starship Enterprise.
Even with the bears, the Polish army was out matched. Germany had fast moving tanks and air planes while the Poles had horses and dynamite. The main tactic of the Polish Army was to use horse mounted tropes to do quick hit and run counter offensives with the dynamite. Running/riding bravely into the battlefields and throwing the dynamite at the advancing German tropos.
The German main tactic was to pick up the dynamite, light the fuse, and throw it back.
I feel like if you wanted to say all of that you could have found another post. I mean, the connection to the polar bears mentioned above is tenuous at best.
makap · 3 points · Posted at 16:41:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well most Polish polar bear units were dispatched to repel soviet invasion from the east. And though polar bears are clearly superior to common brown bears, Russian forces were ultimately victorious through their vast numbers despite Polish awesome bravery.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:33:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
how can someone even write a paper on that? its clearly wrong, how could you/why would you fabricate enough information to write a paper? Wouldnt you realize you fucked up?
I don't remember the context and I'm not proud of this, but my girlfriend wrote a college paper about Sonic the hedgehog and didn't understand why she got a D.
You're going to be a lot higher than [10] at that point.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 03:19:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
i dont know man, one time i rubbed my ankle thinking it was my dick and actually ended up cumming qbefore i realized what i was doing becuae i was so high
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 07:56:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I saw someone do that on a plane. First one I have been on with USB and watching him do that was aggravating. Its not that he gently tried. He just kept shoving the thing in there with a lot of force. He wasn't old either. Early 50's
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:42:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Got a new computer and the Headphones jack was really sticky. Managed to plug into the USB port. Realized really quick when my computer immediately powersurged off. Don't do that.
etree · 6 points · Posted at 02:12:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My laptop will actually immediately power off if you do that, and it won't come back on unless I remove the battery and hold the power button for a few seconds, then put the battery back in and power it on.
Shat my pants the first time I missed that headphone jack.
My boyfriend broke his laptop doing this. He did it accidentally though, because it was dark and he mistook his jack headphone for his usb headphone. Or so he tells me.
You know when you're searching for the headphone port without looking because you think you'll feel like a bad as if you get it the first time. That's how he felt.
afergs · 1 points · Posted at 18:40:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you know that a USB cable will fit perfectly in an Ethernet jack? And that more than one I've had to solve that exact problem on ship in posted to even though in am engineer and not in IT. I'm probably about 1/8th Asian so of course I'll fix all of your computer problems.
dbbo · 1 points · Posted at 00:40:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
One time I couldn't figure out why a USB mouse wasn't working on Linux on my girlfriend's laptop. I made sure the usb_hid kernel module was loaded, checked dmesg, but the system was just totally oblivious to the fact that there was a mouse plugged into it.
At that point, I decided to inspect the physical plug.
It turns out if you blindly shove a USB plug into the center of an ethernet port, it fits.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:10:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did that once without realizing it. My computer crashed and I lost 15+ pages I wrote the day before this paper was due.
Wait, some rocks can float on lava can't they? Provided their density is less than or equal to the density of the lava. And the flow of the lava is slow enough that it doesn't cause an undertow by convection
HAHAHAHA This reminds me of something that happened to me as a teenager.
I was at the local mall with my two best friends Kelly and Joanna. We were in the shopping mall's food court and Kelly decided to get pizza, while Joanna and I wanted bad Chinese food. So Jo and myself are in line at the "insert crappy chain Chinese place here" when all of a sudden we hear the girl in front of us yelling at her friend not to get the strawberry chicken. Huh? We start listening. The girl is berating her friend for getting strawberry chicken instead of orange chicken because apparently the screaming girl got the strawberry chicken once and she found flesh in it. She kept screaming at her friend that she was getting "fleshy chicken!" Like, she seriously kept yelling the phrase "fleshy chicken!" How her friend didn't die of embarrassment we'll never know.
The best part? When Jo's Dad came to pick us up from the mall he told us he had come up for a name for his new boat. He wanted to call it the "Hidey Ho!" well Jo hated that and he asked her if she had a better name. We immediately suggested the "fleshy chicken!" and told him the story. He comprised by naming it "The Hidey Chicken Fleshy Ho!" and actually painted that on the boat.
Almost forgot about my college roommate. She once missed the first three exits to a city because she forgot where she was going.
She once told me she would never breastfeed her children because it would hurt too much to poke the holes. When asked how she thought animals nursed their young she said, "well, don't they just gnaw the ends off?"
Edit to add: she also got into a drunken knockdown fight in the street with another girl over a gay guy.
[deleted] · -7 points · Posted at 15:37:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Childbirth doesn't hurt as much as you think. Source: I'm a father and I've seen the process. Twice.
Edit: Take it easy, folks. It was obviously a joke. It looked painful. Pro tip though: look into "hypnobirthing." It's not crazy, like I initially assumed. It's mostly about extreme relaxation so you don't tense your muscles.
There is stupid that doesn't know something it should. And then there is stupid that invents a whole world with a back story and new physical laws to uphold their misconceptions.
My mom use to ride horses when she was younger. On her way to the stables she once drove from Buffalo to the Pennsylvania state line before she realized she was driving the wrong direction.
I'm not saying my mom is dumb, she just has the worst sense of direction I've ever seen.
Thats horrible. I'm glad you were able to breastfeed as you wanted.
Yeah, she went to school at a private Christian school, and I got the impression when I met her parents, that they would have avoided talking about breasts and pregnancy and the like.
Ohang · 6 points · Posted at 18:45:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was a wondrous experience!
My aunt was also like that, but in her case, it is also probably because she was born during a time when "Formula is the best you could ever give your child!" That and boobs=sexual to her. She's almost sixty, now.
Regardless, she now doesn't believe she ever said that to me, and believes all mothers should breast feed. It's all funny now!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I'm not thinking I've missed a turning on the motorway before. I drive down the road all the time and very rarely have to turn off at this junction. When I am going that way I've been on autopilot until after it.
She once told me she would never breastfeed her children because it would hurt too much to poke the holes. When asked how she thought animals nursed their young she said, "well, don't they just gnaw the ends off?"
I think we could potentially use this information to make sure she never gives birth to another person.
"Want a baby? Did you poke a hole in your vagina yet? Can't have a baby unless you do. How else would it get out?"
I can understand her forgetting where she's going. I'm too scared to focus on what turns to take very often.
I need to have someone in the car telling me where to go. I have a GPS and it helps immensely, but I hate using it. I digress.
I'm too focused on what everyone else is doing to focus on where I'm supposed to go. I'm terrified of other drivers. I get lost like she does very often because of that.
eliasv · 1 points · Posted at 12:16:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair breastfeeding can be super painful for some women, and babies have been known to suck and chew until the nipple is practically hanging off by a thread... People get infections and stuff.
By a thread? unlikely.
It can be painful, this is why we need adequate education, support and help for mothers who want to breastfeed. That would reduce frustration, improper latch and infection rates.
However, non of that involves poking holes with a needle.
eliasv · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
However, non of that involves poking holes with a needle.
There was a girl in my high school who thought rhinos were the last remaining dinosaurs. Oh and she was shocked when she found out that rice came from plants. Smart girl, that one.
There's this guy, and the ASK_ME_IF_IM_A_TRUCK guy etc. They all get a lot of karma from answering the questions, and the people asking also get karma. It's kinda stupid, but it's how reddit works.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:07:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also stupid guys, stupidish guys, mediocre intelligence guys and even smartish guys realize at a very young age to either shut the fuck up or make a joke. Girls, especially pretty ones, don't get the same reaction every time they open their mouths.
[deleted] · 500 points · Posted at 02:03:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep. Guy says something stupid, everybody in the city calls him retarded, gives him weird looks, and doesn't let him forget it.
Girl says something stupid and she gets a few "uh huh", and maybe a few shifty glances. If she's not "pretty", she gets roughly the same treatment as a guy.
Except against guys. They get the short end of the stick. You slip up a word? BAM, you will not hear the end of it for the next sixteen and a half years.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 13:28:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm guessing your word had something to do with butt stuff.
[deleted] · -5 points · Posted at 03:45:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
how bad do you have to fuck up to be called a retard by the entire city wtf ? I mean , it's not that bad.
Also many girls, especially in junior and high school, dumb themselves down because they think they are supposed to. I did it for about a month before I wanted to bludgeon myself after I said "Tee-hee! I don't even knooooooow /giggle" about 50 times in a day.
Also, smart girls can intimidate guys. Many guys don't like a girl showing them up. As a result, many girls play up their "ditziness" in order to avoid putting guys off. That's why "ditzy" and "popular" seemingly go so hand-in-hand.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:39:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
really? Kind of an asshole response. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU women can (and are) be just as sexist as men.
11k_ · 1 points · Posted at 21:39:49 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class said to my friend that he would not be as annoying if he was a girl. he called her a sexist, to which she responded with: it's true because girls are much wiser.
She also ask these stupid questions like: how can rocks be made of atoms if they are made of stone?
I actually have a guy one! One of the lads in my class asked us what date Christmas was. He was a very practicing Christian and definitely celebrated Christmas because he had just finished telling is about when he found out Santa wasn't real but somehow he didn't know what date Christmas was. He also asked us what date New Year's Day was on.
Also we're in an animal care class and he asked our anatomy teacher how whales breathe (we were learning the respiratory system at the time) and when the teacher explained that they had lungs like other mammals he asked us how they didn't drown when they breathed under water. He's literally the first person I've ever met that's made it to college (with an interest in animals to boot) that didn't know that whales come to the surface to breathe.
Zoesan · 2 points · Posted at 21:05:18 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am stupid guy, almost died a couple times.
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 13:34:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reddit is predominately male and they tend to notice, and care, a lot more when girls say stupid things.
Insuffucient data. The following factors are all possible given current information. Further research would be needed to see their relevant extents.
Female bias -
Guys could be less likely to be paying enough attention if they don't understand something. They could be more used to being made fun of by each other if they say something stupid, so keep it to themselves. Guys might prefer telling stories about stupid girls because of confirmation bias.
Male bias -
Girls could be more likely to lack the cognitive ability to think things through and cross reference their thoughts with what they already know. Girls might enjoy telling stories about other girls' stupidity to make themselves look better by comparison. Girls might be less used to open, on the spot ridicule than guys, so feel less inhibited to speak their mind.
Edit: also, maybe girls act dumber than they really are in an effort to seem more vulnerable / attractive. Maybe they want to allow potential suitors to feel superior.
Reddit is mostly male and I suspect the young men are more likely to notice women doing stupid things because 1) they're members of the sex most of them are after and 2) some of the young men on Reddit have a bit of a sexist streak
I notice more male stupidity than female stupidity, myself, but I'm female.
I notice this too and it's the same in other posts I've seen requesting dumb things people do or say. Majority of the idiots are female. As a woman, it makes me upset.
Yeah. My mother in law and sister in law act dumb so they don't have to use their brains for certain things. If you start saying anything remotely science they don't get it, even if it is a simple concept. They were taught that if they act stupid, they don't have to work at certain things. It is easier for them to say "I'm bad at math" instead of just trying to learn the concepts. They can be smart but culturally they've forced themselves into this corner of people that excuse their actions because they are cute. It is just really sad. They both have such high potential and just throw it away because they're too lazy. I think it might be that more women are this way because if they're cute or pretty their dumb actions are excused and they don't try to correct themselves. I think males are called out more frequently than females if they're acting dumb. Which sucks. So many women have so much potential and throw it away. It is just frustrating.
phySi0 · 3 points · Posted at 13:08:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Majority of the idiots are female.
The majority of the idiots you're hearing about here are female. The majority of the idiots are actually male (but so are the majority of geniuses, sorry :P), but you don't really hear about male idiots because they either die or get called out more often (are the current top answers, which I would say make sense).
From my little anecdotal evidence, it's because girls SAY more of the dumb things that most of the guys are only thinking. It seems there are more dumb guys when you attempt to have a conversation with them, but the girls say things without engagement.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:08:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i think there is also something going on culturally but i have no idea. i've also met a lot of dumb women.
Bit late, but the amazing lion king musical has some great giraffe costumes. Perhaps even better than some of the other costumes, which require you to ignore the visible portions of human that look like they are humping the puppets.
[deleted] · 903 points · Posted at 23:52:16 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had to watch the movie 'Defiance' in my english class and afterwards this girl put her hand up and asked, "Is Jewish a country?" Later on after after watching Defiance (which is about three Jewish brothers in Nazi occupied Europe) for the SECOND time she asked," Wait.... Were they brothers!?" I wanted to throw a stapler at her.
[deleted] · 302 points · Posted at 00:56:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:07:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's a really hot girl in my class but she has an extremely hard time figuring out questions like 2+4, and once in our biology class she says "So plasma membranes are like blood bones, right? In the synovial thing?"
solwGer · 222 points · Posted at 01:16:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I have a similar girl in my math class.
She didnt belive (a+b)² = a²+2ab+b²
THIS WAS IN 12TH GRADE.
I ended up throwing a puncher at her, and having to write a 6 pages-long text, why its dangerous to throw punchers at people.
EDIT: Remebered another story of the same girl.
She asked if Cologne is east or westcoast.
She believed -(x-y)=x-y.
She said that she thinks all english speaking people are stupid, because they invented a new language, instead of just speaking german, like EVERYONE ELSE ON THE WHOLE PLANET. (This was in 11th grade, and she actually believed all other people invented new languages, and that german was the first langue that ever existed.)
EDIT 2: Asked other classmates if they remember other stories about her.
She asked our Physicsteacher why we cant see the sun moving.
She said she will become a hotel-manager or a top-model. (Both didnt work out, obviously)
My best friend made a research paper in math, and he gave it to the teacher on monday.
She found a copy of it, and copied the copy, and gave it the teacher on friday, and then said, my friend copied from her. Teacher gets both two in a room, and asked 3 basic questions about the reseach paper. She didnt know any of them.
EDIT 3: Sorry for my mistakes, english is Not my native language.
Because of the time-shift between Germany and USA, I wrote this text at 2:30 AM and I wrote the edits at 3:30 AM
Usally my english is better.
EDIT 4: We didnt bullie her, and besides her dumbness she was a cool girl to hangout with. We were never offensive and we never bullied her.
Sorry if the text above seems offensive.
sorry if that's a little entangled, but the words a sufficiently different that I don't think that was the cause.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:50:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seems like it could be that but from my personal experience I learned about ethnogenesis and and various language families from history, history which is of course learned in the chronological order in which Mesopotamian and Egyptian languages followed by Romance ones should sufficiently predate the Germanic ones.(in the course of studying)
Joon01 · 1 points · Posted at 11:10:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In the Adventures of Huck Finn, didn't Jim have a conversation with Huck along those lines? He kept asking why French people would speak French instead of talking normal.
I dont like that people can tell that I´m german, just because they read a text I wrote. Reminds me how bad my English is.
Anyway I love idiosyncrasies the other way around. I always smile if I "catch" my Math-teacher (who is a native American) slipping in some english expressions.
Once, back when my high school German teacher was living in German for the first time in his youth, he hosted some sort of dinner party at his apartment. When his apartment makes asked what he was doing, he said that he was cleaning because, "Der Große Käse kommen.
Nobody really says this anymore, but people here used to say "she/he is the big cheese" as slang for saying "he/she is the boss."
His German friends were very concerned about the large cheese that was about to come to the apartment.
That's Cool, I let my feels take me on a journey! Peace
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 07:21:05 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 07:40:58 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm currently dateing her.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 13:38:02 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:28 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, you got it! Since you're such a cool guy, can I ask you for relationship advice?
She gives me oral often because she loves me sooooo much, but she doesn't swallow. to force her to do it I hit her teeth out with a brick. now she wants to brake up with me. is she in the right to do so?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:09:55 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 14:24:45 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I still don't see it. Thanks for the effort but it's not something I can ever grasp I'm afraid. Not that I ever need this in real life, so no need to feel sad.
I've had to learn it year after year in middle and high school and never understood it then either. I ended up being allowed to use a chart during tests after I was diagnosed with dyscalculia. So no, I really don't think I can grasp it. Yeah I understand the donut part, but after that it's just random letters and symbols to me. I've never had to use it irl. Maybe it could be helpful when buying donuts, but i'll just add them all up and that works too.
75 times (3+5) is the same as (75 times 3) + (75 times 5)
and if you're also okay with the example in the link, which shows that
3 groups of "2 plus 4" is the same as (3 groups of 2) plus (3 groups of 4)
then you should also be okay with
a times (b plus c) is equal to (a times b) plus (a times c)
because it's the same thing. Sure, it uses letters instead of numbers, but it's exactly the same relationship.
We're not using letters in order to be weird or tricky. We're using letters because the relationship is true not only for the numbers 75 and 3 and 5, or 3 and 2 and 4, but for any numbers.
And then, if you're okay with
a times (b plus c) is equal to (a times b) plus (a times c)
then you can apply the same principle to longer problems. The problems might take more time, but they use the same underlying principles.
Sorry. I don't mean to pick on you or anything. I just find it frustrating when people think that algebra is weird or esoteric, or has no relation to everyday life.
Numbers and quantities and areas are in daily life all the time. Reasoning correctly about quantities, and noticing relationships between numbers, very much is part of everyday life.
I'm staring at it but I don't see the logic, I'm sorry. It's as if I grasp one step but then two seconds later when I move on to the next step it's just… gone. I know it must be frustrating to someone who does understand, it must look so simple once you get it. I really appreciate the effort though.
I'm late to the math party but if you want to play I will come back and bust out the geometric reason it's true. It's a different sort of logic and you can draw a picture, I find it much more satisfying than the algebraic reason.
The symbol-pushing of algebra is HARD. It took a series of medieval geniuses to invent it in the first place.
The areas of the pieces are a2, b2, a*b, and another a*b, which sum to the formula you were taught. You can use a similar picture to derive the equivalent formula for (a+b+c)2.
I'm in college algebra this semester and have been out of high school for nine years. This is the first math class I have had since then. I swear some of these fresh off the high school boat students are complete imbeciles with the questions they ask. And my professor walks us step by step:
"multiply the 5 and the 7 together and you put the 35 here"
"wait, where did you get the 35?"
/headdesk
Also the whole negative plus a negative is a positive, and neg+pos=neg is beyond their realm of comprehension.
I ended up throwing a puncher at her, and having to write a 6 pages-long text, why its dangerous to throw punchers at people.
Sounds like you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer either.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I never get why you guys always say 'sorry for my English' because it reads better than what most people I know could write. Didn't even consider you weren't from an English speaking country.
Anyway, on a more relevant note, bitches be crazy.
I don't think this is so bad, and I would be happy if a high school student questioned me on this. It isn't immediately clear why the left side is equivalent to the right side until you look at the problem geometrically.
I learned how to do that math in the 7th grade.. Seriously wtf
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:39:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It became obvious to me after I remember what I learned in middle school, but it wasn't clear to me that (a+b)² = a²+2ab+b² at first glance. I feel a little stupid, but whatever. I haven't used anything but statistics since 2007.
No, what I'm thinking of this TV movie with David Schwimmer and he's in the Jewish ghetto during WWII and he plots an uprising against the Nazis to escape. I'm pretty sure it's called Uprising actually.
i really enjoyed that movie but my moms side of the family is bilsky. idk if its connected or not. probably/definately spelled different. i just know the bitch tried very hard to make us believe that is was our family involved.
Had a roommate who was about 6 months late on rent. It's a 10 month lease and we're in month 8. They're threatening to sue us. . He got a tuition refund. $700. (2 months rent). He goes to play poker with it, despite our constant pleas not too.
DOUBLES UP. He shows us the $1,400, (because he's dumb like that.) This is Saturday night. Office is closed Sunday. I go to work Saturday night, and then work a long shift Sunday, feeling good. Monday after classes, he comes in. First question, "did you pay the rent?"
Bumbling stumbling excuses "I paid off some credit card balances and some other money I owed my parents." "So how much did you give the complex?" "None."
Blew my fucking lid, almost punched him right then and there. I will bet every penny to my name that he went back to the tables Sunday night and lost it all.
Somehow he came up with the money though...
[deleted] · 342 points · Posted at 00:58:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He came up with the money by owing his parent again.
Probably. He was from an odd family. His parents gave him a truck, but wouldn't let him take it to college. I begged him to sell that stupid truck no one was using and pay the rent but he said he wasn't allowed.
I had a friend who worked full time at a shitty retail job all summer to save up so she could buy a car. This was the summer after we graduated high school, and she worked her ass off so she could have a car to drive to and from college in the fall, and to whatever job she could get when she was there. She gave up tons of days and nights that the rest of us spent hanging out so she could work extra shifts and get enough money for a decent car.
I think in the end, she managed to save up about $4000, which is a small fortune to be sitting on at the age of 18. She went out and bought a sort of nice older Taurus and was pretty thrilled. Then, right before she left for college, her parents decided that she didn't need a car because her older sister never needed one when she was in college, and told her she wasn't allowed to take it. She had to leave behind that car she'd worked so hard for, and have her parents make the FOUR HOUR round trip every time she wanted to travel there and back. It also forced her to look for a job on-campus, which severely limited her employment options since it wasn't a big city and most things were not in walking distance.
But the kicker? Her mom used the car herself, and managed to not only fill the car with garbage and do absolutely no routine maintenance, but also somehow put 50,000 miles on that poor little sedan over the course of a year, never driving much beyond our small hometown. This happened five years ago and I still get mad about it.
Sorry for the only semi-related block of text. It just makes me really mad when people's parents have weird, arbitrary rules about things, especially when it's something big and important like a car.
Damn, that's a completely different level of bizzare, shitty parenting. If I'd have bough my own car and my parents tried to take it from me, I would have laughed and yelled "catch me if you can," as I drove away.
50,000 a year is a simply astonishing amount of miles for a single year. My uncle is a traveling salesman and drives from Michigan as far as Minnesota to the West and New York to the right, and he usually gets about 35,000 a year.
I'm still not sure how she got that many miles in over the course of a year. She never ever drove long distances. I think the furthest she ever had to go was about 30 miles away, but from what I understand, her regular driving mostly amounted to going between their farmhouse outside of town to the small stores in town, which couldn't have been more than 10 or 15 miles.
Unfortunately, this girl is pretty non-confrontational, and her parents (father especially) are really strict and no-nonsense. Arguing with them wouldn't have changed their minds, just gotten her in deeper shit. Icing on the cake is that, after they used and basically wrecked her car over the course of that year, they offered to give her their old-ish farm truck, which her brother had been driving, because he got his own truck and no one was driving the old one. She accepted because she really needed/wanted a vehicle, but then her brother wrecked it before they signed it over to her, so she went back to having no car and no options. They didn't even offer to float her some cash to get another car, or make her brother help her buy another. She finally got fed up about two years ago and bought herself a crappy old hatchback while she was in school, where they couldn't take it away without driving a couple hours waaaaay out of their way.
I'm sorry for such a late response(there was a link to this thread in another one). If she bought the car herself, and the title was solely in her name, then legally there is nothing the parents can do if she wants to take her car. It doesn't matter how strict her parents are; she is a legal adult, and that is her personal property and they have no say in the matter at all.
If that is not the case, and their name(s) were on the title as well, then that is another story.
Either way, I don't blame her for being upset.
Kardif · 3 points · Posted at 00:31:29 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
50,000 miles is 150 miles per day for the entire year. There's no way that she was only driving into town and back that's 5 times into town and back. I'd put my money on running drugs if I had to guess.
Reminds me of my friend who's parents bought him a gaming PC and some games for it, but then said he couldn't play it. Supposedly due to his father's obsession that PC gaming is unreliable. His dad's save files was corrupted at 95% completion.
Reminds me of my parents. Decided to buy me computer games and a nice set of speakers one Christmas and a computer the next.
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 15:40:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My parents did that accidentally. They tried to pull the ol' "oh here's some playstation games. Oh you don't have a playstation? What's in that box over there...". Except my dad forgot to actually get the playstation.
Reminds me of my friend whose parents bought him a Alienware gaming desktop for 4000$ and they did lot let him take it with him to Lan parties, not big lan parties, more like 4 people at max.
Also remembers when his computer got virus and his mom said
"Your computer can't get virus"
So it sounds like his parents bought themselves a truck that he was allowed to drive when he was at home.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 15:39:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had to kick out a friend for this. He'd spend all his money on coke and other useless shit then when he couldn't come up with his half of the rent he'd just spend the rest because he "was already fucked so may as well enjoy it".
Every time it happened I made him talk to the landlord so he knew I wasn't the one fucking up and every time the landlord would cut him a break. Well after 3 months in a row he called me and said "I know it's not your fault but unfortunately your half of the rent doesn't cover the whole place. I don't want to kick you out but I need the full rent from now on, however you want to get it to me". So I booted my friend out then he proceeded to bum around and sleep on other friend's couches until he burned every bridge he had by overstaying his company and I don't even know what he's doing now.
Every year he'll contact me somehow and try to get me to do B&E's with him.
Well, we made our payments seperately despite the joint lease. He lied to us about making payments for about half the year, until the complex started to call us.
But you are right, we weren't on his ass enough and it got way out of hand. We were all in our first apartment, so there was a lot we weren't prepared for.
stories like this remind me why I prefer to not have roommates. Sure I pay a little more for the privilege, but its a worthy tradeoff.
Ulimm_ · 431 points · Posted at 03:42:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a classmate in 8th grade who legitimately thought that the ocean had no bottom. Our teacher showed a diagram of the deepness of the ocean, and she just couldn't grasp it. I don't know how you get all the way to 8th grade without learning that the ocean doesn't just drop off into nothing...
nerak33 · 96 points · Posted at 14:24:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's almost endearing. This is seeing the world with the wonder of a small child. I wished I could turn "dumb wonder" mode on and off.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 19:11:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Imagine being able to the rush of discovery any time you wanted.
It would be pretty damn cool. Imagine, continents are just big pieces of land floating on water and instead of the ocean ending the mass of earth was made up by water. Like a big raindrop with pieces of continent floating on the surface.
Well, technically the depths of the ocean has never been fully explored. There's a outside chance that there's a disturbance in the space-time continuum down there.
When i was in elementery school for a while i thought islands just dropped straight off into the ocean and had no incline like a beach. Dont know why just did.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 16:35:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's taking me more brain power to wrap my head around the concept of a bottomless ocean than it is to just accept it's really friggin' deep...
kjata · 5 points · Posted at 22:28:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On a spherical planet, yeah. But abandon entirely your usual notions of the universe and come with me to a place where a trip can be longer from A to B than the other way around, you too can comprehend the fathomless deep.
But try not to, because that's getting dangerously close to Lovecraft territory.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:03:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay when I was a kid I didn't think some parts of the ocean had bottoms. Because the earth was rond, i thought the water just... went all the way to the other side. Zero gravity makes earth round, right? So if figured we were a big glob of water with land balanced and anchored in it.
Alternatively, I knew a girl in 11th grade who, upon watching my art teacher begin coloring the sky blue starting at the horizon of a landscape, said, "Wait, why aren't you starting up at the top? The sky should be up at the top, and the ground should be at the bottom..."
Wait so like... she thought the Earth was a ball of water with gigantic continent-islands floating on the surface? And if you swam deep enough, you would come out on the other side of the world?
A girl from high school physics, "If the speed of light is 3*108 m/s, what is the speed of dark?"
and later that year, "If China is 12 hours ahead of us, why didn't they warn us about 9/11?"
I can't make this stuff up
Nowin · 572 points · Posted at 05:13:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So... the speed of dark is the speed of light, right? Darkness is the absence of light, so anything getting dark gets dark at the speed that the light leaves it.
Jon76 · 600 points · Posted at 06:20:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Correct. Honestly though, I would consider that a legitimate question.
guydawg · 55 points · Posted at 11:55:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
very typical reddit.. top answer in a "who's the dumbest person you've ever met?" thread is about some 15 year old asking a cheeky question in math class. not even making a stupid statement or implying she was correct, BUT JUST ASKING A QUESTION!!!!
"The only thing faster than light is darkness. No matter how fast light goes, darkness is still ahead of the light..waiting for it."
savish · 3 points · Posted at 17:39:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I challenge that. The speed of a standing wall is not the same as the speed of the truck that eventually hits it. As far as physics knows, the darkness was there first and we can make no assumptions as to how fast it got there (by the previous analogy, how fast the wall got there - i.e, was built or dropped or whatever).
When light travels it replaces existing darkness. The removal of a light source does not result in darkness propagating at all - it just results in light no longer propagating.
Picture a point source of light shining a beam through the darkness. The light from this source will propagate at 'c' to the observer's eye. The speed of light can be determined by measuring the delay between the source being switched on and the light from said source being received - and, obviously, the distance between the two. However, the lack of a source of darkness prevents the same calculation from being done. Later, when the light source is turned off, the same delay will occur before the observer perceives the lack of light. But it is not light leaving the observer's eyes, rather it is no light arriving at the observer's eyes. The darkness does not come to where the observer is, light just stops going there and darkness remains.
TL;DR Darkness has no source and therefore the relative measurements necessary to compute it's speed are invalid, I think.
But the China thing ...
Arkail · 2 points · Posted at 08:16:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Darkness forms, at least that's what my mother's explanation was when I asked the same question
Technically dark doesn't have a speed, if you were to consider the large scale of the expanding universe, the darkness is expanding at exponential rates. The speed of Light is traveling at the same speed the entire time, but as that light is traveling away from its object, the object also moves in another direction. What's left behind once the light leaves it's object, and the object has now moved, is darkness. Considering the speed of light one direction and the speed of the object in the other the darkness is being "produced" at a "speed" that much faster than light, in essence instantaneously after the light is gone. But in reality the "darkness" is always there, it's just the objects we see in the way that prevent us from knowing the darkness is there.
I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
Nowin · 1 points · Posted at 00:21:20 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
That would be relative speed based on perspective. A car travelling at 30 mph away from a different car traveling at 50 mph is not going 80 mph; it's going 30 mph.
Also... that thread was like 5 months ago. How did you even end up there?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:59:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
quit trying to smart up this thread with your "logic" and "reasoning"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:34:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's actually a book called The Speed of Dark that's really good (it's a fictional story, and many of the characters have autism). The question of what the speed of Dark is comes up several times, and one of the characters notes that Dark must be faster than Light because Dark is always there first and always there after. Light is fleeting. Dark is forever. Dark isn't the absence of Light; Light is the absence of Dark.
In a completely non reflective, non emissive environment - yes.
Lanko · 0 points · Posted at 18:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh yeah? well if that's the case, why is it that when you turn on a light, it takes a split second to appear, but when you turn the light off it's instantaneous? :P
There is no speed of dark because dark is not a real thing, simply the absence of it. The speed of dark wouldn't even be the speed of light because light always goes that exact speed in a vacuum, and darkness can be completely unchanging because of the absence of light.
That's why you run to the bed when you turn off the lights...
Tom38 · -1 points · Posted at 19:38:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nigga still be running from trees and whips.
kumardi · 173 points · Posted at 03:00:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I respect your opinion but, if I may, I'd like to point out something, from a former state level sprinter
look at the progression of the 200m WR vs. the 100m WR
100 - Bolt first broke the record in 2008, beating Asafa Powell's 9.74 with a new record of 9.72, since then he has broken the record a further 2 times with 9.69 and 9.58
200 - Bolt broke the record in 2008, beating Michael Johnson's 19.32 with a new record of 19.30, he then went on to break the record again with a time of 19.19
I know I dragged on a bit, but the point I'm trying to is that a 0.16 improvement over 100m is far more impressive than a 0.13 improvement over double the distance
Something to note is that Michael Johnson broke the the WR by .06 at the Olympic trials and then took another 1/3rd of a second off in his gold medal run. His 19.32 was .4 faster than the former WR holder and people were pretty shocked that 200m was now being covered in 19.3.
I agree with you that .16 is more impressive than .13, but, I think the 9.58 will be broken before, maybe even long before the 19.19 is ever challenged.
kumardi · 51 points · Posted at 03:53:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a great point, but I'd have to disagree with the last part because of Yohan Blake
at 24 years old, he is the 2nd fastest man in history with a 9.69 PB in the 100m - however, his 200m PB is 19.26, making him the second fastest in the event
given that male sprinters tend to peak in mid to late 20's, it's not a stretch to say that Yohan Blake could be the man to take that record away from bolt
Haha, I was at an international meet once and I heard Aussies and Kiwis throwing around "PB"s all the time. It just made me really hungry for peanut butter sandwiches
None of those current sprinting records are going to last more than another 5 years. Our understanding of training, technique, nutrition, etc. is coming along too fast. When Usain was born we didn't know anything. He's only had the benefits of modern sports science for a few years. Imagine what kind of monsters we will have that were plucked out at age 8 or 9 as gifted and trained and coached using cutting edge methods. I believe that in the next 10 years we will see a 9.3 100m. This is discounting any changes that would allow for performance enchancing drugs or machinery.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 06:49:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Michael Johnson, a fellow Baylor man. Sic 'Em. Much respect.
Before Bolt came along, the 19.32 was way more impressive than the 9.74. The 200 M dash was the most impressive record in track and field because the second best time was 19.68. Michael Johnson's 200 in Atlanta was impossibly fast. It literally did not make sense to shatter a world record by that much.
I'm not taking away from the fact that Michael Johnson's time was outstanding, simply stating that Bolt's 100m record is more impressive than his 200m record
and yes, Johnson brought the record down 0.4sec in total, but lets take Bolt's improvement of 0.16 over 100m and multiply by 2, you're getting 0.32 improvement and thats without the flying start and the whip of the bend in the latter half of the 200m race - it doesn't make any sense that he could have lowered the 100m record by so much
Nope, cause you slow down. People are pretty quick about getting up to speed, but maintaining it is hard. Every little error in a foot fall costs you some time.
look at this link - even though his 3rd and 4th quarters are slower than the 2nd, the flying start you get at the beginning of the latter 100m voids your argument - his second 100m is run in 9.27 seconds
in any case, a 0.16 improvement over 100m is more impressive than a 0.13 improvement over 200m, purely based on the numbers
You can just look at the flat average, but you're missing out on the acceleration needed to get to that speed. From that point of view, the 100m is pretty crazy because he's getting to basically the speed of the 200m in almost no time at all.
Woah, both of those give dark a speed of rougly 10.43 m/s. I guess it would make sense that the speed of dark is consistent, just like the speed of light. Physics!
This is the most I've laughed in a few weeks, I've been really depressed and tired, thank you sir! If my gold credits order worked from buygold.io, I would've gilded you but I can't. Sorry, ily.
Of course, but they can’t warn us about things in time because data only travels at the speed of light. Actually the 1’s travel at the speed of light and the 0’s travel at the speed of dark, but it’s close enough that they can’t tell us about things before they happen here anyway.
vonFitz · 194 points · Posted at 01:40:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol I asked something stupid like that last night at a [7] and knew it was stupid and yet kept waiting for an answer. I'm smart except when I ish dumbs.
[deleted] · 98 points · Posted at 02:03:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What type of dumb person knows what the fuck 3*10 8/10 m/s is, seriously.
[deleted] · 106 points · Posted at 03:09:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I read a book called The Speed of Dark once... it was thinking about that question. It's a ridiculously stupid science question, but an interesting philosophical/literary one. (Obviously this girl was on the dumbass side of things.)
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
From a philosophical perspective, it could definitely be argued that darkness, the lack of light itself, is faster than light, simply because existence is active, whereas lack of existence is passive. Something has to exist for there to be evidence of it existing, meaning that darkness itself can only be observed if it exists. And if a lack of light can exist, nothingness isn't an impossibility, is it?
No banana is faster than banana. I can prove this as there is no banana in my hand at the same time there is no banana in my other hand. We know that you can't have one thing in two different places ( except if it is very large) and I have the same no banana in both hands. So how do we solve this riddle?
Easy. Because the no banana is actually traveling between my two hands very quickly. The reason we can't see the no banana is because it's traveling so fast that light can't catch up to it. No banana is actually the fastest thing in the universe. It exists everywhere (except where there is banana) and some very clever scientists hypothesise that we could use this principle to send messages faster than light b by modulating the frequency of no banana. They can't test their theory however because planet earth contains trace amounts of banana and this would affect the results.
Not bad, but I still think a round object would be clearer. I figured it out. I'd put a dot on one side of the ball indicating 'her' and a dot on the opposite indicating 'Jackie Chan'. Shine the light, showing that for her it's noon and for Jackie, midnight.
Ok too much thought into this. We shouldn't shame dumb statements. Just mean ones.
Had a girl in high school science that thought "oral contraceptives" meant that if she swallowed she wouldn't get pregnant when she had vaginal sex. The best part about it was that when she said it she was 100% certain this was true. Our science teacher went to correct her, but her boyfriend at the time sat right behind her in that class. He gave a sort of hand wave "Don't fuck this up for me" gesture and the teacher just kind of shook his head and said "Yeahlp, yep, that's how it works."
She also thought that thought that there was once life on Venus but their "bubble popped" and everyone died. We asked her what she meant by "bubble" and she told us that it was "Like the one the Earth has that keeps all the air in. You know, like a soap bubble that goes all the way around the Earth and if a meteor or something hits it it will pop too."
Well...she was half right. We do have an atmosphere, and it is similar to Venus', and if a large enough space object hits it, we're fucked, but not because we run out of oxygen, and our atmosphere won't "pop".
[deleted] · 462 points · Posted at 05:21:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So you're telling me a highschool teacher let a teenage girl believe false information that might actually end up with her getting pregnant or infected with STD's. Just so a teenage boy can keep his unprotected sex jollies? I find that really hard to believe. Actually I'm hoping it's not true because that's seriously fucked up.
[deleted] · -13 points · Posted at 07:45:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's fucked up, but don't forget the old golden rule: Don't argue with stupid.
The teacher just didn't to waste time on such a stupid person.
[deleted] · 17 points · Posted at 13:02:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
It's pretty much a teacher's job to "waste time" on a stupid person. It's called teaching.
[deleted] · -10 points · Posted at 13:30:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yea, the teacher said the right thing, then the kid argued for nothing. There is no point arguing with that girl because she believes so much that she is right that it will take a long time to change her opinion. It's like saying to creationism that god didn't create life; waste of time to try to prove facts.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 15:06:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At what point did the teacher "say the right thing"? From the story, the conversation goes something like:
Girl: "Swallowing means I can't get pregnant, right"?
Boy: makes affirmative motions to teacher
Teacher: "Uh, yeah, totally."
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 18:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The way I understood it, it starts by the science teacher explaining how the different contraception methods work and then there was this really dumb question because the girl wasn't paying attentino or she was too stupid to understand what the teacher said. So from what I understood he DID explain how the contraception method works.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 22:22:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He should explain again then because if she she was asking a question about it she deserves an honest answer. But either way it doesn't matter because I don't really believe this happened.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 22:42:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in high school chemistry we were discussing chemical reactions or some such and in the middle of the teacher's lecture a kid screams from the back row, "Is that why when you add milk to Rice Krispies they go snap, crackle, and pop?"
“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
That doesn't sound like dumb, just dumb jokes. I've heard a lot of those in classes over the years
ywecur · 2 points · Posted at 10:31:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's the speed of dark isn't actually that stupid of a question if you rephrase it: How long does it take for light to become absorbed?
There is no general answer though as it depends on the environment. I read that they successfully made light survive quite long in a box with very shiny mirrors!
Oooh!! I knew a girl like that too in my high school history class!
"Which was the first world war?" along with "Who fought in world war 2?" and "Where is the English channel?"
But my favorite was when she asked me: "Which of your double chins do you shave first?" ... I'm a slender guy with a cleft chin.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:53:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from my science class asked as follows; "has anyone landed on the sun?"
Not as bad, but our professor was explaining escape velocity to us in high school and someone asked "does that mean I'm moving at 11,000 m/s when I jump?"
denuu · 2 points · Posted at 12:40:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my physics class, in respnse to a position vs time oscillation graph, asked the professor "Does time oscillate?"
If China is 12 hours ahead of us, why didn't they warn us about 9/11
had a middle age man who was a banker seriously ask me if you followed the daylight line of the sun on earth in something like a fighter plane "does time freeze? "
"If China is 12 hours ahead of us, why didn't they warn us about 9/11?"
if you were dumb enough to think that how does she think US investors ever lose on the stock market?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd say that she thinks outside the box, and isn't deterred by what the majority of society considers a 'stupid' question.
The most intelligent people on earth often have the most profound learning gaps in certain subjects.
That is actually a pretty good question, it just doesn't make sense because of the basic principles of life. The real question would be, how fast does it take for light to become absent? or just what is the speed of light leaving a specific area? Because darkness is just lack of light.
Good question though! Don't be mean to people who are just curious!
That second question though? Yeah that bitch was dumb.
Was the first one a smart comment and the second one a joke?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:25:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nothing more frustrating that trying to explain time and time zones to someone who doesn't understand it. Because it does sound a little crazy at first.
Not that dumb. Where ever light travels to dark has always got there first.
Lanko · 2 points · Posted at 18:32:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Umm, both of these were common facetious questions kids would ask in my school. I'm not convinced any of them were ever serious.
Hell I used to ask "Dumb" questions in physics class like this all the time because I was bored and it was funny to watch the teacher react.
"When an object in motion bounces off a surface there is a point in the bounce where the object is "stopped" If that's the case then the speed of light is NOT constant because it stops when it bounces off a mirror."
Well, technically the speed of light is infinate, it's just that the "limits" of the universe applies to everything, even things infinate. The same applies for other things IE: gravity anf also darkness. The "speed" at which the phenomenon of darkness travels is equal to that of the speed of light, infinate. Yet in our universe it falls under the same limitations...
my roomate asked me what the speed of dark was last night. im proud of how i handled the situation and the fact that my face did not distort in horror or anything.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:18:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl in high school who asked me if Anne Frank was still alive.
dbbo · 2 points · Posted at 00:20:31 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually lot of people don't seem to understand that things like "darkness" and "coldness" aren't phenomena in their own right.
I have tried and tried to explain to my (science-hating accountant) SO that there is only heat, that coldness is simply a perception of a lack of heat, and that heat tends to move in a gradient from objects with higher heat toward objects with lower heat.
But she still won't put on socks when her feet are cold "because it will trap the cold in".
I suppose exceptionally tight socks might diminish the circulation to your feet and make them feel colder, but I'm positive that isn't what she is talking about.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:02 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
dbbo · 1 points · Posted at 00:44:53 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We've had a lot of other arguments about heat though.
She thinks a metal fork at room temperature has less heat/more coldness than a plastic one at the same temperature because it feels colder.
And she thinks when you turn on a fan, it actually cools the air because it feels colder.
MRX009 · 2 points · Posted at 04:15:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know what pisses me off? If she's hot she might marry into a rich family and have all the money in the world while an Indian PhD is driving a cab somewhere in New York because his doctorate isn't recognized in NA.
DethNik · 2 points · Posted at 00:18:49 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of the Drew Carey episode when he gets drugged and shipped to China. He calls home to the states and one of his buddy's, "says wait it's Sunday there? What's the score to the big game?" Then Drew responded, "I'm in China not the future you idiots!"
It's sad how people can go through life just making up their reality from bits of info they don't understand like a child, and no one takes any action. There was a guy like this in my class at college. He thought chinatown was a city in the middle of the US, that was made so they would have a place to put all the Chineese. And his cure for Aids: "Boil them, that kills the virus!"
"If the speed of light is 3*108 m/s, what is the speed of dark?"
That's the smartest dumb thing I've ever heard...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:01:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If China is 12 hours ahead of us, why didn't they warn us about 9/11
THIS QUESTION NEEDS TO BE ANSWERED YOU COMMIES
Kricee · 1 points · Posted at 16:13:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know one worsER (yes) than this. I am not making this up.
During a class about pre-history, the teacher was saying how the cavemen had to travel big distances by foot to get where they wanted to go. A girl, not quite understanding that, asked him: "But teacher, why didn't they travel by plane?"
A girl in my 10th grade history class said, "I don't believe in Europe because I haven't seen it." Also a different kid was asked to leave the class and he replied, "Bitch nigga how is I spose to learn if I leave?" The joy of public education.
From a philosophical point of view it can be argued that nothing that you can't see at this exact moment exists. How can you know that the room next door really exists? Your mind can tell you it exists, technology can confirm it but is it really there or is it just giving you the illusion that it exists?
Captain's Log 3/26/14. The "ol' reddit switcharoo" as it is called here has led me to /r/askreddit. This thread appears to be about stupid people. This is the first stop on a long voyage across reddit, to answer one question. Is there an end to the switcharoo? My adventure continues.
Captain's Log 03/29/2014 12:44am. I'm following the good captain Ben's back trail. I'm doing this on a Friday night. Somebody put me down before i get too far down this rabbit hole
Expedition log entry 13: Now I discover 2 additional captains. On seeking the other. What military are these men from? What is so vital or dire to cause this many officers to seek the end alone? Who are these people?
Expedition log entry 21: The horrors of the journey to what people here call "The Origin" never cease to amaze me. Reports of cannibalism among previous crews are coming in. All of this makes me wonder how futile is all of this, how far will someone go for a joke?
I stand before the abyss of the unknown. This path is my journey, the wind calls my name, comforting me with it's gentle kiss. I walk, one foot hits the path kicking up a small puff of dust. I look forward, and inhale deeply smelling the sweet air. My journey continues.
ICEKAT · 1 points · Posted at 20:56:51 on April 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
People hopelessly casting about for their guiding light. There is no light down these holes. The pilgrim is lost, as his name said he's be. or she. or shiz... however that works anymore. We all float down here, and to float to the beginning, we'll make it.
There are fewer and fewer names one recognises on these paths. /u/hindukid has been a mile marker throughout most of my journey, occasional messages are discovered from /u/KodarK729, so they must never be discounted, and you my friend, may your path always lay before me for guidance.
Belvedere has accepted the inevitable loss of all travelers. He keeps repeating "there is none on the path but one" and seems to be distant, not only from me, but reality. The exhaustion we face daily, and what I suspect to be swelling of the brain appear to have taken their toll on my poor, sweet little idiot. Hopefully sometime soon I can find some leeches to draw the madness from his skull. I fear for him, and....
Reminds me of my schools policy on tardies. They randomly have "tardy sweeps" and the teachers lock their doors and send late students to the cafeteria where they spend the entire period writing about something, usually whybeing late to class is bad. So even if it was their first tardy ever, and they were only 15 seconds late, they now have to spend a period doing nothing useful. And then the next day have no idea what's going on in class. How is that not more disruptive to learning than just letting the damn kid in a few minutes late?
as someone who works in class rooms, he wasnt learning anything before and if he stays the other kids in class arent going to be able to learn any because of his more than likely disruptive behavior. i see what your saying in that he will get no where by leaving but kicking him out makes the rest of the class easier.
ano414 · 1 points · Posted at 14:41:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, the old reddit dfgdfgggroo.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not if the kid was fucking around and disrupting the lesson and making it so everyone else in the classroom can't learn. I'm a teacher, and kids who can't behave in class are just asked to leave.
I had a high school principal force me to skip my last period class multiple times when I did something dumb. He would literally just sit me down on a chair in the main office and put me in time out. I still fail to understand what the point was.
Let me clarify: when I say "incident," I had been reading during study hall instead of doing homework. They called the vice principal and he made me skip Latin.
At my high school they did sweeps. If you were caught in the hallways after the bell rang you were sent to ISS. So if you had to go to your locker and were late to class because it was at the other fucking end (big ass school) you couldnt go to class amd forced to sit and copy pages from the agenda. Fucking stupid and im glad Im done with that fucking school and its incompetent administration.
If he's legitimately keeping other students from learning, then he should leave. The teacher's responsibility is to every student in that class, not just the one we've heard about.
Also, that student may benefit from discussing his conduct with an administrator in order to change his behavior so that he can learn effectively. If the teacher had exhausted his/her options already, then the matter should be taken up with someone capable of further action.
edit- added second paragraph
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:13:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
only if he was send out of class for not being smart, if he was causing trouble he shouldn't have
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 18:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was the second one name Lil Wayne? Sounds like lyrics from a song he would write.
right as the teacher I feel like part of me would just melt at the idea "I'd gotten" to one of my students like that
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:50:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hate to say it but he was probably just being an asshole/smart ass. I knew kids in high school like that and I can say from personal experience that I cant imagine any of them that are a) being told to leave class and b) saying 'bitch nigga' to the teacher actually give a shit about learning or education. They just dont want to get in trouble or move away (out of the class) from their friends
Exactly this. It's a smartass "oh so you're breaking your own rule" thing. Saw several students use this while I was in school and as a tutor. Always disruptive and an attempt to belittle the teacher.
But that doesn't make the point any less sad. It's true, you can't learn if you get kicked out. But you aren't learning and neither are the 30 other students until you go.
People don't seem to understand the second guy. He didn't give a fucking shit about education, he just wanted to argue with the teacher. While he may have had an objectively good point, if the tracer felt it nessecary to send him into the hall than probably wasn't learning shit in that classroom.
When I used to trip on acid a bunch in high school me and my girl would often talk about if Egypt was real.
We had no proof, only school books and history TV specials. It could have been a conspiracy for all we knew. We would go on for quite a while about it.
I had a girl get kicked out of class once but instead of leaving, she stood up, screamed "I'M HERE TO LEARN" and then sat back down and cried. The teacher didn't even know what to do so she just left thengirl alone and kept teaching.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:33:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why do you specify the first person is a girl, but you use a gender neutral term for the second?
Wow...that girl from 10th grade is a wise one. If Europe doesn't exist, Europeans don't exist either. I question my whole life now. What if nothing is real? What if I only live in EchoOdysseus's imagination?
Well, did that first girl never see a documentary about europe or meet people from there? Believing in no-evidence things god is one thing, but a thing like europe has produced modern believable media.
I have posted this before, but in freshman biology class we were reviewing the subatomic particles, and the teacher asked a girl to list them. She responds with "Protons, Electrons, and Decepticons" and could not figure out why the class was laughing at her.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:21:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
negatron (nĕg′ə-trŏn′)
An electron with a negative charge; the antiparticle of the positron. Most branches of particle physics construe each particle along with its antiparticle to be two different forms of one underlying phenomenon, and the term electron is sometimes used as a precisely such a general term, with positron and negatron referring to the forms of the electron as they are manifested in nature.
A great deal of chemistry. There's a reason biochem is a prominent field, our bodies have a ton of chemistry going on. That said, for most the physics doesn't go far beyond "these are the basic subatomic particles, here's why you should care".
I had someone read a current event summary in my science class once, something about how they were building cars made of subatomic particles for transporting small objects. She said something like how they plan to use "electrons for wheels, protons for bodies, etc."
It was an introductory unit where we discussed a lot of the basic concepts of Chemistry and Biology, but the rest of the year was definitely more biology focused.
My Physics teacher in his 2nd ever lesson with us did a lesson on the families of different particles. He told us: "There are 3 families of subatomic particles, Leptons, Bosons and Klingons." He then paused for a moment and then says "I can't believe you all wrote that down, they are from Star trek you idiots!"
Arkail · 373 points · Posted at 08:27:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This girl used a stile my mother set up to climb over the fence behind my house. She said "Thank God for putting this here, it saves me 5 minutes every day." I said thank my mum, the girl then said my mother couldn't have put it up because she's a woman.
To the left of the fence is a hedge. Or some sort of plants and the like; likely you could squeeze past, but if left untrimmed it could be difficult, or maybe it was larger when the stile was first put up. Normally to the right would be a gate, it looks like it's open in this picture, but you can see the metal hook holder things sticking out that would secure the gate closed.
As to why you need a stile when there's a gate: the gate might be large and unwieldy, they're often big enough to get a tractor through, and you don't really want to be opening a gate when there's a bunch of sheep that could rush out of the pasture.
Barbed wire, maybe? There might be some that doesn't show up in the photo to keep animals in so the stile would be for people to use.
_Bones · 2 points · Posted at 17:38:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a fairly high definition photo with decent lighting. You'd be able to see barbed wire. It would also require some sort of anchoring system to attach it to the post, either by wrapping it around the post or some sort of clamp, neither of which I see evidence of.
nandhp · 2 points · Posted at 22:59:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To the right of the stile is barbed wire. (Not sure about the left.)
Assuming this is in the US. As sad as that comment is, it's actually a testament to how incredible the US road and highway system is. Some poor girl actually thought it was an act of god.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 13:26:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Our infrastructure is actual shit now. I'm assuming this statement was made years ago. Or perhaps it could have been made recently I guess if you have nothing to compare it to.
ajkeel · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I knew in high school told me she didn't believe in dinosaurs because they weren't mentioned in the story of Noah's Ark. She also thinks that the dinosaur bones discovered and on display are a conspiracy by the CIA for some reason. ACTUALLY, i just remembered, just recently she had a post on facebook talking about how she's warming up to the idea that there were dinosaurs because they must have died in the Great Flood because no one wanted those "scary monsters" on the Ark. I understand where she's coming from, being from the Bible Belt and all, but.. i just can't understand.
Looking over a test I took in college one of the girls in the class with me was amazed that I got an A. She said, "that test was so hard, I failed it!" I asked her if she studied at all. She said no, and she told me she was drunk when she took the test.
So what? He didn't know how he died, and heard somewhere it was from breast cancer, or mixed Hitler up with someone who had breast cancer. Men can get breast cancer too, it's just not as common
EDIT: ducking autocorrect
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 15:56:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This Jamaican guy started making fun of me because I was from Africa.
A bit stunned, I'm like, "where do you think your ancestors came from?"
"Jamaica"
"And before that?"
"Jamaica"
"No. Africa"
"No. Jamaica."
No he was not all native american descent (or white or whatever)... he was a black as the night.
EDIT: he failed a grade at some point. And ended up a crack addict (allegedly).
EDIT2: Arawaks, the indigenous population that Colombus encountered, where not all wiped out. "Puerto Ricans, Surinamese, Venezuela, Guyana and Colombians can claim Arawak ancestry"
Girl in my astronomy class:
"So if I went out into space could I like push the stars around and knock them into eachother and stuff?"
Teacher: "No, they are incredible massive objects"
Girl: "But they look so little!"
I was around 8-10 (or whatever the normal age is when you know your own address) and I just made a new friend and she invited me over to her house to hang out. I planned on dropping by after taking my things home so naturally I asked for her address. She grabbed a paper and pencil and started drawing 3 houses. She pointed to the middle house and said "I live here".
TLDR: never talked to her again.
[deleted] · 326 points · Posted at 03:50:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mom never bothered to tell me our address, or our phone number. But she expected me to know it, like I was some mind reader. Didn't help we lived in Germany at the time.
It's less about the age and more about the fact that this girl should definitely have known her address. Not just that it was the middle of the only 3 houses in existence. Ever.
Yeah, I still remember the address of the house I lived at when I was a kid. We moved from there right after I turned 8. I'm pretty sure my brother remembers it too, and he's 2 years younger than I am.
jayserb · 21 points · Posted at 15:11:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kindergarten role call: a young and naive jayserb gets marked absent because he doesn't know his last name. Much improvement since then, I now have a college degree and know my full name.
Well it's not the house on the left and it's not the house on the right. It is however a house in the middle, how did you not find her house knowing this?
Fuck, I had to drive some kid home from tennis practice one day after school. He couldn't tell me where he lived. He couldn't even explain how to get to his house. He had to call his mom to give me the directions. We were in high school.
That reminds me of a time when I was in college where I thought I had met the dumbest person ever, but it turned out I really hadn't.
I worked in the shop building sets for the college's theaters, and the guy who ran the place was throwing a year-end party/barbecue for all the shop workers at his house. Someone who had gone last year was drawing us a map to the location, and it was literally just a long line with a square at the end labelled "[boss]'s house".
Turned out that was actually correct; you just had to get on main street and keep driving until the road ended in a t-intersection with another major road (in a different town by that point), his house was right there.
So she lives in the house that looks like it should be there (it's between two other ones so it would make more sense for it to be there than not) but isn't?
N0m_N0m · 1 points · Posted at 00:18:41 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, I mean, maybe if it were an absurdly (for an 8-year-old) good drawing of 3 houses, each with proper architectural accuracy, and maybe with a road sign in the picture, maybe? Perhaps it was a game to try and get you to find her house by using the drawing.
This girl at my school :
"I don't swim a lot during the summer because I do not want to get water cancer"
You mean skin cancer? From the sun?
"No. Water cancer. You can get cancer from the pool water."
.-. Help me.
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 14:25:42 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Possible she misunderstood her parents concerns. Some people think chlorine in water is toxic for one. Then there is the actual risk that you are more exposed to sun when swimming because of reflected light and the water washing your solar cream.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 06:59:21 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only logical explanation could be that she somehow somewhere picked up that chlorene in pool water could cause cancer (or something along those lines) and translated it to 'water cancer'? Is that a possibility?
This girl saw "double cheese burger" on a restaurant menu and she got all excited, thinking it meant "DOUBLE CHEESE burger" (extra cheese). She was confused when there was two patties in the burger.
... That girl was me. My boyfriend still laughs at me.
TL;DR: I like cheese.
Edit: Apparently a lot of you are on my side! Thanks frands.
A true double cheeseburger has both two patties and two slices of cheese. This is the reason that McDonald's serves both a "double cheeseburger" (two patties, two slices of cheese) and a cheaper "McDouble" (two patties, one slice of cheese).
If you desire a single patty and two slices of cheese, I'm not sure how to help you.
4x0n · 93 points · Posted at 09:47:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Wendy's worker here (came for the Kevin story from another thread, stayed for reasons) and the single has two pieces of cheese and one patty. They put it under and on top of the patty.
It's because, before they got to talking about French fast food, Vincent was explaining to Jules the perceived greatness of Amsterdam's pot laws. Then onto German theaters serving beer. Then to Belgians putting mayo on fries. You simply misremembered, and that's ok.
IMHO, this makes perfect sense. Double Cheese Burger. Double is followed by cheese, meaning that the cheese is what is doubled. IF there is a space between cheese and burger. Double Cheese Burger, should be different than Double Cheeseburger.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:22:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where I come from, McDonalds used to always give you the option of buying two cheese burgers together, and it was called the double cheese burger. Then they brought out a cheese burger with two patties in it, this was also called a double cheese burger.
Made for some mild anxiety when trying to place an order through the drive-thru because both items have the words emphasised the same way.
That's OK, I did something similar. I ordered a buffalo burger, expecting a burger slathered in that delicious vinegary sauce I love so much. Nope. Burger made out of buffalo meat. I mean, it was good and all, but... not at all what I was expecting.
This sounds logical to me. A restaurant should serve a "double cheeseburger" along with a "doublecheese burger". Maybe the space will stop the confusion.
Ruval · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
See, that's adorably stupid though.
Like a Golden Retriever.
I know they are smart dogs. I love them. Golden Retreiver grins are the epitome of "Ignorance is Bliss" though.
In all honesty a good double cheeseburger goes bun>meat>cheese>meat>cheese>bun. Double cheese, double meat. Add in your favorite toppings between either the first cheese and 2nd meat or between 2nd cheese and bun. Ketchup/mustard/mayo is acceptable only at bun locations.
I know that I am super late in responding to this, but I actually had the reverse experience. I was in China and I saw that a restaurant had a double cheese burger and I was super excited for two patties of delicious, delicious burger (I had been away from America for 6 months at this point and was living in rural China where there were no hamburgers). I get the burger and it had two cheese slices. Still, pretty amazing.
Your username is my favorite beverage and cheese is my favorite food. I don't know if I want us to be besties, bonding over our love of the same food, or enemies, battling over the last Diet Coke and piece of brie.
mnlop · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tbf if you'd never had a double cheese burger before, the name sounds like it could be double cheese (although it should be written down like 'double cheeseburger' to avoid the confusion) .
Are you from Wisconsin? Because they are truly some cheese-lovin' fools. On that note, my ex (a Wisconsinite) once overheard a co-worker complaining about being on his feet after a fourteen hour day:
Co-worker "Man, my dogs are BARKIN'!"
ExGF, super excited "Oh you have puppies!?"
I had a coworker who's been living in North America for at least a decade think it solely contained cheese... takes a bite... vegetarian was very surprised.
How did this catch the apartment on fire? If it was plugged in it should have tripped the breaker. If it was battery powered it should have just shorted out without exploding. Are you sure the fire was an accident?
This isn't close to the stupidest thing she said, but it's the only thing I can remember. Girl at my high school admitted in class to pouring an entire jug of antifreeze on her windshield to melt the ice.
Know a girl who ran a brand new car into the ground because, 'what do you mean u need to put oil in it?' but in fairness my friend who is now an engineer also ran a new hybrid car into the ground because, 'I didn't know I had to put gas in it, I thought I could run it off the battery. '
You mean he just ran the hybrid car out of gas?
And some plug in hybrids you don't even need to fill with gas as the gas is just a supplemental range thing where the motor acts as a generator.
My sister thought an oil change was where you pulled out the dipstick and looked at the level. This coming from the girl who didn't know how to work the wiper spray for two years of owning the same car. She used to pull over on the highway and rub snow on the windshield to clean it. Smh.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:23:30 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
For the longest time I wouldn't have believed this, until my friends started getting cars. I know a girl who can't tell you her mileage, gas tank size, doesn't know how to change her oil or even wiper fluid, doesn't know where her spare, jack, or tire iron are located, doesn't know how to use jumper cables, literally knows nothing about her car except how to work her stereo.
You can stick your dick in crazy (or let crazy stick their dick in you, you know, gotta be inclusive), but only in crazy that you can handle, and if crazy doesn't know where you live. Sadly, most of us over estimate the amount of crazy we can handle and bring them back to our place.
You couldn't have given me this advice 4 years ago? Asshole!
Emher · 7 points · Posted at 11:39:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also never stick your dick in depressed and needy. Which sounds really shitty to say, but you may be dealing with that depressed and needy way longer than you have the energy for.
As a depressed guy, who has been for a Lon time, I make sure I'm not sounding needy. If a woman isn't into me enough for sex, because I'm too low energy/boring, well I understand that. I can never tell her that directly or they get suspicious. I have had women show interest again when I'm on an upswing emotionally. This used to bother me in the past, but when I became serious about improving my life these situations almost became comical.
Fuck me or not lady, i am not ashamed to jack off if you don't, basically.
I mean.. Except when they say "I'll deal with the condom, just sit in bed and relax while I go make you some tea ;)" and then proceed to turn the condom inside out and drop the semen in their vagina. Pregnant a couple months later "YAY I'm pregnant :)" you: "WHAT?! WE USED A CONDOM" her: "yeah we did and it worked :) it kinda makes sense to put the sperm in a little container and have me put it in rather than having it shoot out of you into me. I feel like that would hurt if it comes out fast"
I made this whole scenario up just now so to clarify, this didn't actually happen but I'm just saying, sticking your dick in stupid can backfire occasionally.
Read it again, I knew someone would read it wrong as manipulative. The idea was that she thought a condom was used to get pregnant. Not that she said "oh let's make sure I don't get pregnant" and then save the sperm secretly. Read it again.
I don't think it's physically possible for me to stick my dick in anyone but crazies. At first I just figured the recurring theme in my life, crazy crazy crazy gals, was just a coinkidink, but alas it's probably because I'm crazy. But crazy people don't question their sanity... right?
is it all in my head? am I all in my head? alone... alone... alone
EViL-D · 6 points · Posted at 11:07:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Orr,... your dick drives people insane.
you should have that looked at
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 23:33:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've said it before and I'll say it again, just make sure crazy doesn't know where you live
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 04:23:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupid usually makes stupid babies, frequently and easily.
Stupid is occasionally a good thing. Short term, of course.
Kargal · 1 points · Posted at 05:06:33 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Never stick your dick in crazy. Stupid though? You're free to go!"
vydac · 63 points · Posted at 03:58:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hmm, I've done this before when it gets so cold (Wisconsin) that the normal windshield fluid freezes and you just dump the wiper fluid on your windshield directly to get all the crud and salt off.
For anyone curious, what's going on is that both methanol and ethanol are both metabolized by the same enzyme (alcohol dehydrogenase) to formic acid and acetic acid, respectively. Formic acid is not good to have in you, acetic acid is basically vinegar. The idea is to make the concentration of ethanol in your blood a lot higher than that of methanol so ADH is too busy metabolizing ethanol to make any formic acid. Meanwhile the methanol will eventually just pass into your urine.
I would just like to note that you can not separate them by color. The color is added by the manufacturer and there is no regulation concerning what color should be used. Some companies color their ethylene glycol red, while other companies color it blue, green, orange, etc.
Neither one should be used as a deicing fluid by regular consumers. It's mainly used to de-ice airplanes.
Source: I work at a place that distributes glycol.
I was just refering to the types of glycol used in automobiles. I'm not sure about regulations, but Ive never seen green propalyne glycol, its usually red, pink, or orange to avoid mixing the types.
Im also not saying it's a good idea to pour antifreeze on a windshield, it's just not as dumb as OP pointed out. Not only is it not real safe for the environment, but it's also expensive.
That being said, a lot of the de-icing spray you can buy for windshields has propalyne glycol as a main ingredient
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:20:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can understand someone calling winter wiper fluid “antifreeze”. Some of them are labelled as “anti-freeze wiper fluid.
It’s not appropriate to call anti-freeze “anti-freeze” either, really. It’s coolant.
Hankyman · 0 points · Posted at 18:48:53 on September 14, 2014 · (Permalink)
The ass was fat.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 05:04:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
technically that would work but its greasy as fuck, everything looks like you smeared vaseline on the windshield (i'm a tractor trailer mechanic and guys have put antifreeze instead of washer fluid in a jam thinking it would be fine)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:19:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This isn't nuts, but she was in high school and probably didn't know much about cars. I'm a 25 year old guy and I only just learned how to put antifreeze in my car.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:08:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If by “antifreeze” she meant “antifreeze windshield washer fluid”, that’s not all that stupid. If you’re not having any luck chipping the ice away, it’s probably a half-decent idea. Hot water would risk breaking your windshield, and not everybody has easy access to cans of de-icer.
At least you gotta respect the logic of it. She's woefully ignorant and undeniably stupid, but... anti-freeze to get rid of the freeze? I've heard far more nonsensical lines of thought.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:33:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hell, her logic was sound... If you think about it... From a I-don't-know-shit-about-cars stance
I used to work at an auto shop and someone brought in their car because "low coolant" light was on. Sure enough she put it all into the windshield washer reservoir and not in the radiator.
In her defense the washing fluid cap did look like a reasonable place to put it.
YYHBHH · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy who put antifreeze in his washer fluid reservoir during winter because he thought that it would work ...
Well, I mean when you see the name "antifreeze" and you don't know anything about cars, I can see how you could assume antifreeze is to counter freezing.
Honestly, I have one that could make this thread. I read your comment and was sure that 'twelfth' was not a word, it just looked wrong and I have never spelled it out before.
We had a substitute teacher that would constantly remind my friend Logan, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Oh, jeez, every class had one of those. Covering rations and food shortages during WWI in grade 10 history, girl says "well of course they couldn't get milk, cows weren't invented yet!" When the tentative titters begin, she looks around and says, "wait, evolved, they hadn't evolved yet, you assholes!"
Same class a dude's video suddenly cut to him trying to burn his foot with a lighter...just for shits and giggles, I guess.
I had a girl like that too. We were on the subject of WWII, talking about weird tactics each sided used, one of them was strapping dogs with bombs to send under a tank to blow it up. After the discussion we heard "did the dogs die?". Everybody in the class facepamled.
"No, they did not die, the force of the bombs sent them into space, where they landed on the moon. They now live on the moon, eating moon cheese all day, which gives them all gas, which is why no one has gone there since."
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 15:51:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
what I can't figure out is why anyone upvoted it. I just thought, how would I explain this so the girl would figure out how stupid it was on her own? And that is what I came up with.
how did you even find this comment when it is over a month old?!? Also, it is too awesome to be a thesis. But it would make a great thesis if it wasn't.
Oh, it was linked in another thread "What's the last thing that made you laugh so hard you cried?" or something. I'll look for a link back if you want?
I had no idea that had been reposted any where. Yes, I would love to see that! I just thought it was the stupidest thing I had written in a very long time.
I had one in my history class. Talking about the origin of Christianity, she asked: "You keep referring to it as the New Testament... does that mean that there's an Old Testament??"
Well, that's actually a pretty legitimate question for someone who doesn't know. If she wasn't raised as a Christian, why would she know? In my history class we never discussed the different parts of the bible, we mostly talked about the influence that the Catholic church had over the world, the thousands of people that were burned as witches, and why (among other reasons) that compelled the Dutch to embrace the reformation and break away from the Spanish empire.
There's a difference between lack of knowledge and stupidity. Many people forget that.
I remember watching a documentary about weird warfare in WWII and they mentioned this.
There were two designs that I remember. Also training dogs costs time and money do they probably would want them to survive.
The dog had a little lever thing sticking up on it's back and when the dog walked under the tank it would disengage the backpack holding the explosives and set of a fuse so the dog could escape.
The dog would be trained to pull a cord that would drop the backpack and light the fuse.
The problem was the Russians used their own tanks to train the dogs which used deisel while the German tanks used gasoline. So the dogs would only look for tanks smelling of deisel.
Some of this may be wrong though because I watched the documentary a long time ago.
Well the dog could have a quick release latch around the bomb and the bomb be one of those magnet bombs I heard being used in WWII. So the dog runs underneath the tank, magnet attaches to the tank, harness releases from dog, dog runs away.
Would definitely be cheaper to just let the dog die, but you know, the technology was there
This makes me sad actually. I used to tutor in a not so great neighborhood and I was working with a sixth grader doing single digit addition. She was a sweet, shy, girl, but had really been failed by everyone else around her.
Maybe she had dyscalculia. It's like dyslexia, but for basic math. People who have can't do simple things like adding numbers or finding out which of two numbers is bigger.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:29:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a high school teacher, this is more (frighteningly) common that you'd think. Being a first year teacher, I feel I'm still going through the shock of being desensitized to how far kids can make it in school with so little knowledge. Had to explain to my science class of SENIORS which of these: <, >, is less than and greater than. They just about lost their minds when I expected them to be able to convert between centimeters and meters on an assignment without explicitly teaching them how to do that. I'm afraid I'm going to start thinking my expectations are unreasonable.
hahaha there's a girl like that in every high school history class.
Ours was a stripper for awhile, now she models. Sweet and beautiful girl, though. Just dumb as can be.
There was a reddit comment a while back saying that there was not much to do in Germany between East and West Berlin.I took it to mean that East and West Berlin were on opposite sides of the country. I just couldn't.
To be fair I was recently watching the movie '28 days later' and in a momentary lapse asked the question: "How long after the break out is this film set?"
Reminds me of the one time my little sister asked me "How do you spell PBS?' Granted, she was 5 at the time, but still. I will never let here live it down.
History class always bring out the dumb questions. We had a girl ask that question too. But the one that really sticks was "How come slaves didn't just stop having babies. Then there wouldn't of been anymore slaves."
You know what I really want to know? They always talk about the Berlin Wall, but what about the border between east and west Germany during that time? Was that also a wall, or something like the dmt in Korea?
Oh HUN! You have no idea! that sparse moustache men loved them soooooo much all the jews know him! You should walk right up and talk to them about the lovely fellow!
I'd give them benefit of the doubt when living in a country where New York City and New York the state are in the same place but Washington DC and Washington the state are practically opposite.
As for the hitler question, a fair bit stupider but to could have been purely a political ploy and hitler didn't have an opinion on them either way, but don't take my word on it.
And Hitler never said he didn't like the jews, just that they were an abomination. He may have liked them just fine, but he knew that god wanted them to be exterminated.
To be fair, that was a popular rumor that was going around. A lot of people believed that Alois, Hitler's grandfather could have been Jewish. There is also a rumor that Hitler was in love with a Jewish woman. Source: http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/hitlerjew.html
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 12:33:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, the second question can be interesting. Hitler coulds have chosen a different minority (potentially) for his national scapegoat.
My old roommate's boyfriend. He spent the better portion of dinner/movie stating how food has too much preservatives in it anymore, and that's why there are trees that have been petrified.
Petrified trees, because of preservatives in food.
Also, you can't eat "Bucky Balls" (or any magnet in general) because your body works off of electrical currents, and if you ate a magnet, it could disrupt them.
She was also pretty dumb, spent an entire night sobbing about being pregnant, gets an abortion, and then makes a point to call out people on facebook for discussing the topic, saying things like "I could never do that to an unborn child, every child is a gift" (when that whole brainless kid fiasco was happening on facebook a few years back)
It just boils my blood - the amount of hypocrisy she shat out her mouth all the time. That was definitely the pinnacle of it though. I thought about saying something on the facebook when it happened, but that would have just been wrong of me. But damn, I really wanted to.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 16:10:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For anyone wondering, don't eat magnets, especially the strong ones. They can end up pinching your intestines/whatever and then you need to get them surgically removed.
A co-worker of my dad's, whom I've met a few times. She was a middle aged woman and she believed that there were huge black lines on the ground separating each of the states in the US. You know how they show the state borders on political maps? Yeah, she thought those were really there.
If I remember correctly, this was in a movie, too. I think "Battlefield Earth", when the protagonists capture a shuttle and are using old maps of earth to try and find where they need to go. They were wondering where all the lines were that were clearly visible on the maps...
Relly bad movie btw.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 16:54:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Until recently, I thought the lines on football fields to mark the downs were projected onto the field. I felt so dumb after someone explained it to me.
af2045 · 2 points · Posted at 16:33:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At last you were embarrassed haha. I think that shows intelligence.
When i was six, i used to think that the state names were placed there in real life.
DJP0N3 · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I live on the border between PA and NJ. For the uninitiated, that border is the Delaware river (of George Washington crossing fame). Until I was like 7 or 8, I thought all state borders were rivers. It was so weird how all the rivers out west were so straight!
My ex roommate's boyfriend. He was 22, he actually idolized Bieber, One Direction, etc., and did everything he could to be like them. He was also homophobic, probably gay because he often wore his girlfriend's clothes from forever 21, and refused to get a job because "the band is totally gonna make it!". He also pushed his girlfriend down a set of stairs, and was so in love with himself that he took mirror selfies, posted them on his facebook, then sent them to his facebook page that he made for himself. Absolutely the worst person I've ever met.
To make sure he didn't come to the house, I actually convinced him that our building was built on an ancient Indian burial ground and that strange things did happen from time to time. He never came back.
stabbed that bitch in the eye and then left the fucking tap on, just dripping. we are living in a fucking wasteland and he leaves the tap on like a fucking animal... What a dick
[deleted] · 361 points · Posted at 02:09:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I like how "he left dirty plates on the counter" is slid in there like he pushed her down the stairs.
it is a syndrome in which the Jewish mothers are extremely overbearing and micromanage everything. Almost all of them have it, alas, we have JewishMotherSyndrome
I would have taken it to another level though (as you know, hindsight is easy for reddit).
I would have beaten the shit out him every single day, while shouting "An Ancient Indian Is Making Me Do This!!!...you know because the burial ground thing".
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:54:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He also pushed his girlfriend down a set of stairs
Ooh i missed a letter, I must be so stupid. I could also criticize you on the use of "..." because you must be stupid for using it improperly. Or your terrible sentance structure. Don't be a dick, how about that?
Wearing girls clothes doesn't mean you're gay. It means you cross dress.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:02:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah usually homophobic people are secretly gay. i've had sex with several of the "everybody must know i'm a homophobe" types of homophobes. (some people are homophobic because of media portrayal and lack of exposure which is harmless and usually they come around)
Latyon · 2 points · Posted at 10:09:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And they usually fuck like tigers ;) all that pent up tension, y'know.
LEDROC · -1 points · Posted at 13:06:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't think that describes him as being one of the dumbest people you know.
Katy Perry once shopped the Whole Foods Market I manage.....she wouldn't let my cashier's hand touch her food. The personal assistant proceeded to take my cashier's spot, insisting Katy may get sick from worker contact.
That's pretty dumb.
Edit: For the record, this sort of thing is pretty common. Katy may have been weirder than most, but famous people get strange about plebeian contact.
Edit 2: I want to be very clear about something. She wasn't being a bitch about the check out situation, just making a celeb request. Iike I said, this happens all the time. I'm not posting this to paint her as a monster, just a bit dense.
Maybe she wanted to gain a better appreciation for the things around her, so she went to the farms to plant, harvest, clean, package and then to the store to purchase and check out without anyone but her assistant's help, and the cashier was getting in the way of her dream.
Or maybe she was just being a prick.. I'm not here to judge.
I don't know if that makes her dumb, necessarily, but that sort of action is really obnoxious, self-important, pompous and plenty of other negative adjectives that come to mind.
[deleted] · 659 points · Posted at 02:05:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah it's pretty dumb, where does she think this food comes from, how was it packed out of the shelf, and also a lot of germs and shit are killed during the cooking process anyway.
Is she deserving of death threats because she's careful about her food? Or is she careful about her food because she gets death threats? I'd lean towards the second one. She trusts her manager to not murder her, but not some person she just met. Because some person she never met told her he wanted to kill her.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 14:49:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You have no idea what it's actually like being a public person, do you?
If I made all my money off of grueling live music performance schedules in a profession where your worth is based on your glowing looks and pipes, and lived in a place where people actively fought to take pictures of any weakness I may possess or encounter to sell to the minds of millions in a daily attempt to disgrace me because trash sells better than truth... I may be a little fucked up about germs and owing people a humble nature every second of the day.
I don't really mind Katy Perry as an anything and I feel bad for people who do, negative or positive. She's just a person operating her life with different issues and I generally hear pleasantly ordinary things about her as a celebrity, if anything at all. Might be my experience and nothing more but until I'm positive that she's a bad person on her own merit, simply having enough money to be more noticeably weird shouldn't be an auto deterrent.
That's the meat of it. We were forced to shut a lane down so a team member could walk Katy's personal assistant through the grocery scanning process. She also had an issue with her items touching the belt. They needed to be handed to the assistant directly, and only by Katy herself.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:35:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or ice not to be icy
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 12:38:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
all that work so that her personal cook can spit in her food later.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 14:28:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is where I think the manager/owner should come in and kindly tell such a celebrity to fuck off. I would rather lose such business than have somebody walk in and pretend to own the place like that.
It always seems like you see that more often from musicians. I guess it makes sense though, getting ill and coughing a lot can mess up your throat, interfering with work.
It's still funny for the reasons everyone else was saying, though.
I'm allergic to nuts/tree nuts and I think about all the junk that touches the belts and what the cashiers touch all day before they touch my food.
When I see bags of bulk nuts/tree nuts I skip that line because of the possible cross contamination. However, I just wash my produce and all of that when I get home. I'm not too crazy about it, but it's always on my mind when I see the belts are dirty.
Setiously? Kick her out she can either get outted as being a diva bitch to people or she can fucking change her tune. Whole foods doesn't need or care about Katy Perry's fucking endorsement. Hipsters who hate her pop and soccer moms who think she's a deviant for gay kissing make up whole foods demographic anyway!
Edit: dear god typing on my cracked screen on my phone with one finger is a disaster.
rahtin · 8 points · Posted at 04:20:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bitch isn't the right word.
Being famous seems to be completely terrifying. It breaks most people.
Yeah, but normal people have daily responsibilities as well. When you do something like that, you really distinguish yourself as more important than everyone else, which is pretty rude.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 05:31:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was protecting your cashier? After all she was married to Russell Brand. She is probably carrying every STD in existence. GG Katy Perry
Sciar · 6 points · Posted at 02:34:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair anybody who gets really sick loses their livelihood and most people are in far more danger of that mattering than Katy Perry. Also at that level of wealth send people to buy things for you. You have a personal assistant. Either shop for yourself because you want to and then take all the risks associated with going outside and catching a cold, or stay home in your sterile bubble and send the plebeians to shop for you.
I've never seen a celebrity act the way described here but there are better solutions and just because you're rich it doesn't mean you lose all common sense and social skills.
I was figuring maybe she was on a tour/recording or made some kind of major career deal where her voice needed to be in tip top shape, so she couldn't allow any interaction with the public due to fear of becoming Ill? For all we know she could be an HIV positive hypochondriac!
Why was she there anyway? Couldn't the assistant buy the food and bring it to her home? I thought that was the beuaty of being rich, you don't have to go grocery shopping.
I had a girlfriend who waorked in a supermaket where alot of people didn't want to get their food "lasered" and she had to tipe in everything manually. She said it's alot of fun, because it gave her something to do. And the people crazy enough to belive that, didn't care to wait 1hour in line
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:27:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Didn't Wil Wheaton say he does this here on Reddit? He said he was sick of catching the flu or something...
Cause, it's not like there's any bacteria on the check-out conveyer belt, the hands of the staff and customers touching the food on the shelf or the hands of the workers who packed the food before going to the store... facepalm
Im sorry, but I call bullshit on your story. I've only interacted with a few celebrities (If you count Danny Bonadouchy i've met interacted with him far more then i'd like to admit) and Katy Perry was probably the most humble and nicest celebrity i've ever met.
If you'd care to read the entire thread, you'll notice I didn't once say the woman was rude or mean. It was the opposite - her attitude was fine. She's just odd.
That food gets packaged in a factory, stacked on a wooden pallet that's been used for years without cleaning, makes it's way through multiple trucks that have never been cleaned and multiple warehouses where rats probably walk across the packaging, comes in contact with numerous workers with grubby leather gloves during this process, finally makes it to the store, is stocked after midnight by god knows who, possibly comes in contact with another scum-sucking member of the proletariat who might touch it during shopping, then finally Katy Perry lugs it up to the cash in her Russel Brand handjobbers but that cashier with the bottle of fucking Purell is the one that's gonna make her sick. Yeah. That's what's gonna do it. That's the part that's gonna cause those Hot Stuffs to be bad for her.
That doesn't surprise me at all. Even regular people act like that sometimes. I clean floors for a living and often have to block off certain sections of the store to do my job. So trying to be helpful to a customer if they need something, I'll offer to get it for them if it's in the area I'm working. Some will get upset and give a big spiel about how they don't want someone else touching their food or merchandise. It's crazy.
I would have refused to check out her groceries if I were in charge. Fuck people like that; if there's no medical reason for her to do something like that then she should have her groceries handled the same way everybody else does. I feel bad for the poor college kid working that day who had to be told that they weren't 'good enough' to handle some egotistic cunt's food.
It's not wealthy or powerful people like titans in business law or science who do shit like this. It's the vapid fuckers who are famous for god knows what reason. It's pathetic and so laughAble because they don't realize there are 50 people who could do what they do but those people weren't pretty or handsome enough or even more likely... They didn't know the right person or weren't in the right spot at the right time.
You're wrong. She was being a bitch about it. She may not have been obnoxious about it. She may not have been rude or hostile about it... but she was certainly being a bitch about it.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:13:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Considering she wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth, thinking you are better than where you come from is a pretty contemptible attitude, especially coming from a mediocre singer who constantly uses her tits to get attention, despite only having a C-cup (her entire fame basically hinges on acting like a slut and excellent choice in push up bras). God I hate her...
I hope she knows she can sick from airborne viruses too. I would have sneezed in her face XD
No im only kidding thats irresponsible
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:24:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I suppose it could be worse. There are celebs out there who literally have it written into contracts that people do not make eye contact with them.
What I don’t get, though, is if Perry was making her assistant do something like that, why the fuck was she even out shopping in the first place? Just get the assistant to do it for you or have your groceries delivered.
It must be some kind of ego trip for these people.
It makes her dense and a bit delusional, but not a bitch. I've dealt with celebs who make a far larger deal out of this exact situation than did Katy Perry.
From a customer service manager's perspective, I'm more concerned with the HOW, not the WHAT.
You can make weird requests all day - dealing with those is the definition of my job. I don't, however, tolerate a nasty attitude or denigrating speech.
So if I came there I could have a whole line closed down just for me while a friend gets trained on how to scan items and then I can hold up other people waiting to get checked out. I have an odd feeling that wouldn't happen for any regular person.
the babying of celebrities was once perfectly explained by a member of Sting's band on VH1 classic I believe - he told this whole story about as it progresses, people taking care of your becomes the norm, and the human mind starts to warp to that idea, to adapt, until eventually youre sitting in a hotel room with your morning grapefruit and youve adapted not to solving problems, all of a sudden the only solution is "wtf is wrong with my grapefruit??" and then someone handles it - vicious cycle
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Would this happen to have been the whole foods in Brentwood?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:28:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This person has had sex with Russell Brand and a cashier touching her packaged food is what she fears will make her sick. That's dumb.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:51:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So, you're super famous, you can't go a week without ending up on mass media, or that has happened already, and now its more every month. Still, pretty fucking odd for the vast majority of humanity. If you are a big mysophobic, or "germaphobe", you are fucked. For a long time, you've had a constant handler that makes you feel safe. Keeping fans back, and hand sanitizer with you. That handler or assistant is in constant fear of losing this job/access to a multi-millionaire celebrity. So, they make non-Katy Perry people feel like shit as they go above and beyond to make Katy, feel less germy. That maybe why this jerk felt like it totally fine to step into your job and "handle" the bosses food stuffs.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:32:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No I understand what she means he body makes he money and If she were to say get strep throat or another sickness she would be out of he job for a night or 2
It's true. But she wasn't being a bitch about the request, just a little weird. She was otherwise pretty pleasant.
Mox_au · 39 points · Posted at 08:26:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my wife's girlfriends. Someone told her a riddle about a train travelling north at a certain speed etc, to which she replied, "oh you can't fool me, because I know that north is up" points to the sky
One day the teacher is walking throughout the classroom and his shoe gets stuck on some red sticky stuff. He looks at it, sees a short trail, and follows it back to Stevie's desk. He looks inside Stevie's desk and finds sticky red goo covering a piece of sticky red paper with "Good Humor" written on it.
Yeah, Stevie brought a popsicle back from lunch and put it in his desk so that he could eat it later...
Heh heh, no. Actually, I hesitated to tell the story as although Stevie was not down's syndrome or mentally retarded, he did go see a lady in the school for a couple of hours each day and none of us knew why. We did suspect that he was special in some capacity and in the story I provided, the teacher (who would likely be reprimanded for this today) could not hold back his utter shock at the situation, letting loose one softly spoken, "Stupid!".
I used to go to speech class in 3rd or 4th grade. And then a year or so later, to some class for "gifted" kids. Which was actually really cool because we got to learn stuff that was a few years more advanced than our classmates. There's a lot of reasons why someone would go missing for an hour or so, besides remedial classes.
True enough, but when we took turns reading aloud, Stevie always needed the person sitting next to him to help him pronounce words he did not know (that everyone else did). I don't know about him being special needs but, as I was in the "gifted" program, well, I also knew he was not.
My college roommate was, without a doubt, the dumbest person I have ever met. She was writing a paper about segregation could not grasp how "separate but equal" was a bad thing despite 2 people trying their damndest to explain it to her. After nearly half an hour my other roommate and I just gave up and left the room. I still wonder how she passed that class.
And she once asked what the difference between legal and illegal was. She wanted to know "which was the bad one."
This girl now teaches elementary school. Her poor students.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 16:19:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's the same idiot that expels kids for finger guns. This isn't funny. Very sad.
Vaiist · -3 points · Posted at 15:25:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, it's not that "separate but equal" was in and of itself a bad thing, but more that we didn't uphold it at all.
Gigzara · 14 points · Posted at 19:37:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope still a bad thing.
Vaiist · 3 points · Posted at 19:57:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't mean to make it sound like it's not a bad thing, I'm just saying that if it were upheld the way it was made out to be, the civil rights movement probably would have taken much longer to get underway.
Actually if you read " brown v board" ie the actual court decision, the supreme court is rather emphatic that " separate but equal" IS in fact, a bad thing " in and of itself"
Vaiist · 4 points · Posted at 18:45:15 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I tried to correct my original wording, but my point doesn't seem to be coming through at all.
A friend of mine back in sixth grade. Learned only "natural born" citizens can become president of the United States. Says she can't become president as she was "a C-section baby."
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:30:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wasn't that the plot of Macbeth?
thatrez · 36 points · Posted at 03:55:01 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
no one will ever see this on a thread this old but
*I once worked with someone who asked me if they make "air conditioners, why don't they make air shampoo?" and was dead serious.
112358Fi · 7 points · Posted at 21:30:17 on September 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did.
thatrez · 1 points · Posted at 19:00:39 on September 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not the dude you were asking but I have a 2001 Jetta TDI.
It is amazing, aside from the normal problem that comes with VW(Special tools needed for a lot of maintanence and repair) I have absolutley no regrets about it. I get ~50mpg** and have never really had any major issues with the car. Also in my state, which requires a safety and emissions inspection annually, I only have to get the safety done because its a diesel. Longer times between oil changes, etc.
Next car purchased without a doubt will be another Jetta TDI
You have to get synthetic so it's usually about $70 but you can go up to 10,000 miles before an oil change, though the shop will tell you 5-7 thousand is recommended.
I have a 2010 which is a completely different engine. I average ~35 per tank but my best on the freeway is 48, but driving the speed limit in a TDI is hella boring...
Wow, not going to lie, that drop in mpg's is disappointing. I drive a manual but it shouldn't be that much difference. Hopefully the change in engine was worth it.
I can't STAND the automatic xmission in mine. It's the first non-standard I've owned, and it's because it was the best car I could get with the money I had (insurance payout). I want to get a TDI standard in the worst kind of way. 800 miles to a tank? Yes please.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:22:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
but automatics are now better than manuals as far as efficiency because it has a computer in there.
Not so. They still have a torque converter, and that SUCKS up power. Unless you are talking about DSC automatic with a computerized double clutch, the standard is still more efficient in terms of putting engine power to the road. Seriously, torque converters are aweful. Thank you for the good luck though, I appreciate it!
Actually, diesel pumps come in two sizes: the bigger one for big diesel trucks, and a more narrow one for normal passenger cars. Both, however, are very clearly labeled and usually a different color than the normal black pumps (usually green).
Source: I drive a diesel car, finding smaller diesel pumps can sometimes be a pain.
how do you even do this? diesel nozzles are way bigger
Perhaps in the states. In Canada and Europe there are enough car sized diesel vehicles that regular sized nozzles are common ubiquitous. When I visited the states we sometimes had a hard time finding low volume pumps; most were designed to fill semi trucks.
Oh! My old roommate did that once! Brand new Honda Accord. She called me from a 7-11 freaking out once (before the diesel incident) to tell me "the like, car, like umm, won't start. The umm shifter, like, it just wont, umm like move. And like, neither will the um the uh, steering wheel thing" (it pains me to type this. That's really how she speaks.) Well, S, you have to actually start the car...
So many horror/hilarious stories from my time in that house. Seriously one of the absolute dumbest human beings I have ever met.
I worked in insurance for a while and we had a fair few guys calling up saying their SO had put regular fuel in a diesel car, and asking if that was covered under their insurance. I always had to put the call on mute for a few seconds while I snickered uncontrollably, before transferring them through to the claims team.
Diesel is only common in the United States for heavy duty trucks and commercial vehicles. There have only been a handful of diesel cars offered, mainly from Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen, but I'm sure I'm forgetting some
It was back a few years ago in the summer of '08 when gas in my area averaged between 4.05 and 4.30 for a few months. There were some days when diesel was cheaper but it wasn't by anything more than a few cents
welllllll it wont ruin the car... But itll hurt it.. A bit.. Ever see the photo of the female gas attendant fillin up a redbull give away car with redbull drink? Classic
nlw92 · 270 points · Posted at 03:35:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was 19, I waited tables with a girl who didn't know how to tell time. She was 18, fresh out of high school. Now, she wasn't like mentally retarded or anything, she was just really really dumb.
She also went to to the kitchen and asked the cooks how to roll a joint. She explained that she had weed and paper, but couldn't roll it. Our boss was RIGHT behind, and had to have heard her. The cooks told her to shut the fuck up.
She did stuff like that all the time, and she sat people at the wrong tables, messed up orders, and forgot her schedule and would be late/miss shifts a lot.
Anyway, she had a scholarship to play volleyball at the university, but dropped out of college after she failed the athlete's drug test about two months into her first semester. I think she's in beauty school now.
I'm 22, have my degree in software engineering and my masters in computer information systems, legitimately struggle with analogue clocks, and the months of the year. stems from my dyslexia apparently
Check out the Pebble Watch. It has a customizable face (with tens of thousands of watch faces), which means you can find one that displays the time for you in a way that is more readable.
http://www.mypebblefaces.com/apps/3878/10514/ Sideways bar graphs can be read from either direction, so this should be easier to tell the time on if you can get used to telling time from sideways bar graphs.
I am not dyslexic, so these suggestions may be way off. But I'm sure that there is at least one watch face out there that would work.
Probably, iv managed to live without the requirement of it, digital is everything I do don't leave home without my phone charged. I could if required eventually work out the time from analogue but i mean it'd take me a while and I usually just ask someone outright what the time is when people do that here check for yourself thing haha
Big plus for this watch, it is bluetooth enabled and can talk to your phone. So you can read texts/emails and chose to answer/ignore calls on your watch without ever taking out your phone (which is what I use it for).
Plus, it means you don't have to annoy other people to find out the time.
nlw92 · 2 points · Posted at 16:50:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Having trouble with it is one thing. But having NO CLUE how it goes it another. Girl didn't even know the count by fives rule or which hand for hours and which for minutes.
I do that with left and right. I know where left and right are, but when someone tells me to look left I need a few moments to think which way is left.
jn29 · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't understand the not being able to tell time thing. At all. I've been able to tell time since I was 5. But, I've never rolled a decent joint. I just can't get it for whatever reason.
Is beauty school just female clown college? I will never understand the US
nlw92 · 6 points · Posted at 00:08:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's where people go to get their beautician licenses. It's usually, hear me USUALLY, drop outs and party girls. They normally (thankfully) don't graduate because it's a year long process. It's actually more complicated than people think, which is why most of the people that graduate are smart, hardworking, entrepreneurial people who want a career, not just a job.
Some people go to beauty school and think, "Oh, I can put on makeup and I've been using box dyes from Wal-Mart on my hair for since I was 12, I can go to beauty school, should be easy!"
It's not the most difficult thing in the world, but it's not exactly easy if you're dumb.
I get do you speak Indian from like 90% of white people I meet.
StubbFX · 17 points · Posted at 10:05:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sure I get that the correct word is "hindi", but it's hardly comparable to the whole "do you speak Asian" thing.
In your case it's like "do you speak the language they speak in India", they simply don't know the correct word. In the "Asian" case it's more like "do you speak the magical common language all Asians understand?", which is a whole other level of stupid.
vagijn · 16 points · Posted at 10:22:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hindi and English are right.
But also Assamese • Bengali • Bodo • Dogri • Gujarati • Kannada • Kashmiri • Konkani • Maithili • Malayalam • Manipuri • Marathi • Nepali • Oriya • Punjabi • Sanskrit • Santali • Sindhi • Tamil • Telugu • Tulu • Urdu
Saying "Do you speak Indian?" isn't that bad and people should really be annoyed by it imo. It's like when people say "do you speak Filipino?", even if there is no such thing as "filipino" since we have 175 different dialects.
Our national language is Tagalog, but that's just because it's the most common dialect used in the capital city. I'm not exactly sure if it's the most used, since it seems every single place has their own dialect, but it's what's usually referred to when people say "Filipino".
Though I had an acquaintance who was from Canada and said he can speak "Filipino", when I asked him to talk to me in said language, I couldn't understand what on earth he was saying. Turns out he was actually speaking in "Cebuano", the dialect of the people from the island of "Cebu", which is also very commonly used, even in the capital city.
With so many different dialects, how does anything ever get done in the Philippines? You must come up against language barriers as a daily occurrence. Or are people expected to speak Tagalog to conduct business, if this is the official national language?
With so many different dialects, how does anything ever get done in the Philippines?
That's the thing though, barely anything gets done.
You must come up against language barriers as a daily occurrence.
Not really, if you stay in one area/region most of the time, you won't really have a problem. It only becomes a problem if you go to a lot of different places; or are at like a large university where there are people from different places who have come to study there. When that happens, you either have to play charades with them, or just speak English, since a uni student should know how to speak at the very least basic English.
Or are people expected to speak Tagalog to conduct business, if this is the official national language?
Business is almost always done in English; which is why we are among one of the countries in Asia with a high English speaking population. This is because of
A.) Vast amount of dialects
B.) A large amount of tourists/foreign businessmen in the country (we have the largest American population in Asia, the last time I checked). Also, most of the people will buy anything that is imported. Common mentality is imported>filipino. This attracts a lot of foreign companies and the like. Oh and Koreans. We have a shit ton of Koreans.
C.) One word in Dialect A may have a different meaning in Dialect B. People could get confused because of this.
Think of it as how it is in the U.S. But instead of every city/general area having an accent, they also have their own dialect. If you stick to where you are, no problem. But go island hoping and stuff? You better be sure you either know how to speak the local dialect or can speak english.
I've always used the terms 'Filipino' and 'Tagalog' interchangeably and so did a lot of my peers as American-born, English-only Filipinos. I didn't even know there were 175 dialects until you mentioned it.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:45:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually, the government of the Philippines has been asking people to call Tagalog "Filipino". (This is, unsurprisingly, pissing off Filipinos who speak a language other than Tagalog.)
I work in software, and we had to change the word "Tagalog" to "Filipino" in our language settings a few years back.
Alright, but aren't Hindi and English the only official languages?
vagijn · 2 points · Posted at 14:53:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's somewhat complicated. From the wiki:
According to the article 343 (1) of the Constitution of India, "The Official Language of the Union government shall be Hindi in Devanagari script."[23] The individual states can legislate their own official languages, depending on their linguistic demographics. For example, the state of Andhra Pradesh has Telugu as its official language, the state of Karnataka has Kannada as its sole official language, the state of Maharashtra has Marathi as its sole official language, the state of Punjab has Punjabi as its sole official language, the state of Odisha has Oriya as its sole official language, the state of Tamil Nadu has Tamil as its sole official language, while the state of Kerala has Malayalam and English as its official languages, the state of Jammu and Kashmir has Kashmiri, Urdu, and Dogri as its official languages.
English enjoys the status of subsidiary official language but is the most important language for national, political, and commercial communication; Hindi is the most widely spoken language and primary tongue of 41% of the people; there are 14 other official languages: Bengali, Telugu, Marathi, Tamil, Urdu, Gujarati, Malayalam, Kannada, Oriya, Punjabi, Assamese, Kashmiri, Sindhi, and Sanskrit; Hindustani is a popular variant of Hindi/Urdu spoken widely throughout northern India but is not an official language
Fair point. But lots of the other languages (Gujarati and Tamil come to mind) are spoken by almost everybody in certain relations, and are certainly not minor languages.
This chick I used to work with. Here's a prime example. I told her I was going to Ethiopia and she replied, "oh my god Europe is supposed to be beautiful this time of year. "
I also told her I was from Philly (I now live in California) and she asked what state is that in? Boston?
081301 · 185 points · Posted at 03:26:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Europe is supposed to be beautiful this time of year
This is also kinda ignorant on it's own. It's not like Europe stretches from polar regions down to Africa and from the Atlantic to Caucasus.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 19:21:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I constantly see people talk about "europe" and "europeans" as if it's one big homogenous entity where everything is the same. It makes me cringe and even sort of angry like crazy.
If we're talking bad geography, I know a girl who used to think London was an island separate from mainland Britain. There was a school trip to London and she was confused when we didn't get on a ferry. She also thought Vietnam was a state in America, and wrote about it in her history exam, in the section on the Vietnam war. If I remember correctly, she still got a B.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:00:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I also told her I was from Philly (I now live in California)
Now this is the story all about how, my life got flipped-turned upside down...
If you told me you came from philly, I too would look at you blankly.
It's Philadelphia right?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:36 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not knowing where countries are is not dumb. She could have A) miss heard you B) not known where Ethiopia is. Unless she lives in Ethiopia or one of its neighboring countries it's not dumb of her to not know.
i don't think that's really "dumb". lot of people don't know geography, especially that region of the world. plus ethiopia is kind of in that region that borders a lot of different continents that gets a bit ambiguous. Like who thinks of Yemen as an asian country? And hell if i know where that was if I didn't just google it myself
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 02:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can agree! On yesterday's thread I googled my reddit username and the first picture that came up was I_AM_AN_IDIOT_AMA. So, the woman in the mirror must be the dumbest person I have ever met :(
Why don't you just ask him to stop? Or start masturbating and stare him directly in the eyes to see if he goes full beta submission and gets scared off
I heard that this is an actual neurological disorder that some people suffer from. They can't help but feel that man they stare at in the mirror is another person, mimicking their every action. Even if they understand on some level that this sensation is incorrect, they can't help but feel it. The brain is funny like that.
[deleted] · 258 points · Posted at 03:43:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Yeah she is, dumbass. I mean, how are you supposed to remove the sun? If you send people up there to do it, they're going to get skin cancer, so that doesn't solve the problem!
[deleted] · 83 points · Posted at 02:51:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A teacher I worked with as an assistant needed me to record myself reading questions aloud for a listening test. It took me almost five minutes of arguing to explain that screaming into the jack the mic plugs into wouldn't work.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:47:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i feel like this one is just, old people not being able to keep up with technology.
ukmhz · 3 points · Posted at 20:55:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Microphones are not exactly new tech. This is someone failing to understand that sound waves and electricity are two different things.
bprax · 2 points · Posted at 15:44:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some girl I randomly met in public who was fighting with her boyfriend and tried to drag me into it to back her up, she kept insisting that there were 52 states because "Hawaii and Alaska were the last two!"
I had the same argument with one of my ex's moms. She asked the two of us, how many stars are on the flag?...(in some tone like it was a trick question). We both paused, looked at eachother and said...fifty? She said noooo 52 dummies! Alaska and Hawaii! Like really? This grown woman, who was a doctor by the way, is standing here literally thinking that there are 52 states. I had to come up with so many different ways to convince her that we were right because even after she googled it she wouldn't admit she was wrong. I said things like how would the star pattern on the flag go? There's 5 rows of 6 stars and 4 rows of 5, that makes 50....and if there were 52 stars that would mess up the pattern and the flag wouldn't look even. This was a very basic and dumb way to try to force her to admit it but at this point we had run out of ideas. We went outside to find a flag in the garden and sat down at the dinner table and counted the stars. We finally got to 50 and she apologized.
Edit: one of my ex's moms meaning the mom of one of my ex's. My ex didn't have 2 moms
I had a girl once argue with me that there were 55 states. For some fucking reason. I even called an American mate of mine to show her once again that there were 50. This was in the days before smartphones were widespread....whatever still boned her. Smashing tits!
Like the District of Columbia, Guam, Puerto Rico, etc? Yeah but based on her reasoning, she wasn't getting at those?
Edit: Oh, you mean Hawaii and Alaska? No they're not considered "semi-states". They're 100% states. just not connected/part of the contiguous United States, like the other 48. Even so, she'd still have to make up two states somehow. Sorry, I thought you were asking if there was a chance she was implying places like DC/Guam/PR/AS were making up the add'tl 2 states.
DC, Guam & Puerto Rico have federal voting rights and representatives in the US Congress.
They all get federal funding for education, infrastructure, etc... & get US passports.
2/3 don't have to pay federal income taxes though.
I absolutely know that Puerto Rico doesn't want to deviate from this "semi-state" agreement, not sure about Guam.
Perhaps it is semantics relating to what is a state vs semi-state, but if you consider representation without taxation a state, then it is 52.
Msktb · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lots of people believe this. It has to do with incorrect memories, but some people think it's actually stuff that happened that was changed somehow. For example, they lived in an alternate universe and got moved here and the only difference is that there are 50 states here and there were 52 in the other universe. When Nelson Mandela died there were a bunch of people who remembered him dying before, so the effect is called the Mandela Effect.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:45:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly I was thought that for a long time. People would talk about the 50 states, then when talking about the US mention 'plus Alaska and Hawaii!'. Unless someone explicitly states they are included in the total it's not that hard to think they are separate.
Well fuck, the world's doing nothing about North Korea despite knowing full well what's going on, is it so far-fetched to think that's the way we roll?
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 13:30:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She thought the actual Holocaust of the Jews, conducted by Nazis, was still going on. She wasn't confused about whether or not genocide was still going on
Yes I caught that. I'm just saying that being as we let genocide continue unimpeded all the time, it wouldn't be so far-fetched for a person who's never been to Europe to think that this particular genocide might also still be ongoing.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 14:24:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be, considering that it started seventy years ago. You'd think we'd be out of Jews by now
Well some libtards claims that Jesus was not American
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:52:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In her defense- if it were still going on I'd like to know too.
Zudane · 1 points · Posted at 20:44:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Of course, we all laugh at the people that are trying to learn for being stupid.
But then again some people here are the same ones that laugh at fat people exercising.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:06:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you serious? A girl one year away from high school thought that a mass extermination that started seventy years ago was still going on. Lighten up.
Zudane · 0 points · Posted at 21:12:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay, you are saying that everybody should automatically know everything?
There's a point that people learn new things. With trillions of things to learn, there's shit you don't know that other people learned in elementary/grade/primary school.
One girl in high school, let's call her 'Lisa', honestly thought that gravity didn't exist and the reason why we didn't just float away was because of our weight. Took about ten minutes to explain that gravity gave us our weight. She then proceeded to ask if gravity could, in her words, 'Break like a pencil.' After explaining this impossibility, she finally stopped talking. The very next day, she confused Newton with Al Gore. No joke. She was really nice, though.
This girl I had a one-night stand with and eventually became friends with until I couldn't stand her any more when I was in undergrad. Sounds terrible, but it's true.
Now, let me just say, I am no MENSA member by any means, but I'm reasonably smart (was in a good STEM program in a good uni, high GPA, well-rounded education/outside interest in multiple subjects). However, when I drink...
...you can imagine where this is going.
Anyway, got drunk and had sex with this woman who was, honest-to-god, really nice, but man, was she fucking stupid. She wanted to be an elementary school teacher, and thank christ for that, 'cause I don't think she would have had the mental capacity for anything above a 6th grade education...and even then...
Here are a few gems (I swear...cannot make this shit up):
FILLING OUT MEDICAL INFORMATION FOR HER TEACH FOR AMERICAN APPLICATION
HER: It says to check any illnesses that I have. I have Hepatitis C, don't I?
ME: You don't have Hepatitis C.
HER: I feel like I caught it one time!
ME: ...
HER: Oh! You know what? I think it's herpes that I caught one time!
ME: That was a canker sore.
INTERJECTED DURING A CONVO ABOUT EUROPEAN POLITICAL AFFAIRS
HER: I thought Georgia was a state in the U.S.?
EVERYONE: ...
HER: What's all this Russia bullshit?
AFTER A REPRODUCTIVE BIOLOGY LECTURE
HER: Well, like, he came inside me, but I washed down there afterwards, so there's like NO WAY that I would be pregnant.
ME: ...are you on birth control?
HER: ...I just got off like three months ago. But, like, I JUST got off, so there's NO WAY.
ME: ...did you use a condom?
HER: No.
ME: You should take a pregnancy test.
HER: Nah, I think I'll be fine.
TALKING ABOUT STUDY ABROAD
ME: You could always go to South Africa. I've been.
HER: Yeah but where?
ME: South Africa. Like, the country.
HER: Yeah, but which one?
ME: The COUNTRY, South Africa.
HER: I thought you told me Africa was a continent.
ME: Are you being serious right now?
HER: (getting frustrated) Yes! Where do I go!
OVERHEARD AT THE INTERNATIONAL STUDENT HOUSE
HER: So, is Germany a part of Europe or England?
And, on a separate occasion...
HER: Do they have color televisions in Spain?
Aaaaand, another occasion...
HER: Well, I mean, Japanese and Chinese are practically the same language, right?
Aaaaaand, yet again...
HER: Why is there the '-ese' at the end of Asian races? Like, VietnamESE, and JapanESE, and ChinESE?
ME: (jokingly, good-naturedly) Like PortuguESE?
HER: Yeah!
WHEN I TOLD HER I AM BRAZILIAN
HER: Oh! Do you speak Mexican, then?
ASKED AFTER RECEIVING THEIR GRADE ON AN EXAM OUT OF A POSSIBLE HUNDRED POINTS
HER: How do you figure out the percentage for 61/100?
HELPING WITH HISTORY HOMEWORK
ME: So, Cote d'Ivoire recently had a coup--
HER: A what?
ME: A coup? Like...overthrowing a government?
HER: ...
ME: You might have heard it pronounced 'COOP'?
HER:Oh!
ME: ...do you...know?
HER: No, what is that?
ON WHY SHE WAS SO ADAMANT ABOUT VOTING FOR A CERTAIN CANDIDATE DURING THE LAST ELECTION
ME: So, why do you want to vote for [this candidate]?
HER: Because he's doing a lot for education.
ME: ...like what?
HER: ...a lot...?
I could go on, but now I feel like a douche. Downvote the guilt out of me...
The South Africa part reminded me of these kids back when I was in AFJROTC. We had to pick a country and do a short report every week to the class. This one guy picked South Africa and got made fun of. Then they said how can someone be so stupid to think South Africa is a country.
Accurate yes, but it just reeks of being given to the country by an outsider.
I mean most country names are, but ours sounds like it. It's just a rough description of where the country is. Like imagine France being called "South of England".
That is very telling of our history, however. The weird country that we are.
Well it had the names of the cape, natal, orange free state and Transvaal before being called south Africa, but they kind of formed a union and ended up being called the union of south Africa, then ended as the republic which is why it doesn't have a specific name.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:31:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually it would be more like Canada being called Northenmost America, or Russia being known as North Asia, rather than France as South of England. France should be Central Western Europe, Germany could be Almost Eastern Europe.
Yeah, but those were named after a country split in two. It's not like Africa has two countries, and one is North Africa and the other is South Africa.
But they're both split countries, that would often get referred to by the name of the whole. South Korea and North Korea could potentially make Korea, and Vietnam already has. The South only applies because it's the southern part of what is otherwise a country.
Africa is a continent, not a country and has never been a unified mass.
I think you can potentially ask that question once until they clarify the country and you go oh woods my bad
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:30:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If someone says South Africa, they mean the country. If they are from one of the nearby countries they will surely say the name of that country. I mean, they would know better than to potentially confuse someone.
Also, no one says they are from North Africa and South Europe.
people say they are from east asia, western europe, eastern europe, etc. I wouldn't do it but im also not a pretentious douche who would assume someone is stupid after hearing that.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:04:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
That's a good excuse if you're in elementary school. But it's not like South Africa is some piddly little third world country.
It doesn't necessarily make you stupid. Just ignorant. If I met an adult, or a college student, and they didn't know South Africa's a country, I wouldn't assume that they were stupid. But I would assume that they were completely incurious about foreign affairs. Hell, not even that, just completely incurious about the world. Which is a fair assumption.
Doesn't make them a bad or dumb person, just not the type I'd be too keen on knowing. I mean, Jesus, you spend a couple days reading the international section of any major newspaper, you're bound to read about South Africa at least once.
Self-teaching aside, everyone's heard of Nelson Mandela at this point. Do they seriously not know what country he was President of? Did they never learn about apartheid at school? To not know about South Africa as a university student, you pretty much need to be willfully ignorant about the world.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:11:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah, infact in elementary some kids thought africa was a country, like WTF. also in 1st grade they thought that besides hundred, one hundred was another number
A tearcher got me laughed at by the whole class for sharing that the planet is closest to the sun during our winter time. It was Dec 12 we were the closest that year. What a bitch.
CLXIX · 1 points · Posted at 21:39:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Um, Kelly is like really smart now. You could ask her who the biggest company in the world is and she'd be like "blah blah blah" giving you the exact right answer.
FLR21 · 3 points · Posted at 15:55:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Would you have made that same comment if I were white.
Being from South Africa and living Los Angeles... I get that one quite a bit.
"wait, where?"
"Johannesburg, in South Africa."
"What like Egypt?"
"Well, that's in northern Africa, and no, South Africa. The country."
"Uhm. But Africa is like. A Country already."
"No, its a continent. South Africa is a country just like The USA is a country and NORTH AMERICA in the continent."
"Yeah I'm lost. You are weird."
or the even MORE common...
"OH South Africa! That's neat! Do you hate black people?"
"Do you hate Native Americans?"
"No, why would I?"
"I...I'm going to go get a scotch."
"But it's 10am and we have a meeting with marketing in 20min!"
"Yeah well, do the math."
"But how will you get back from the bar in time it's like 5min of walking away?"
-_-
Soyala · 7 points · Posted at 16:42:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How is the bit about the bar and the meeting relevant? Am i missing something?
Sorry, not clear...as in... I'm going to the bar, at 10am, because my coworkers' stupidity is mind numbing. Shit joke, they've never driven me to the bar BEFORE noon, now AT noon is a different story.
Oh I thought THEY were going to the bar. I get it now. Heh.
af2045 · 2 points · Posted at 16:29:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ugh I'm sorry. Not everyone in the US is a complete idiot. I have several South African friends in Atlanta and would love to visit your beautiful country sometime in the near future!
I'd wait 40-50 years or so for things to level out from the post-apartheid fall out.
I went back for the first time in many years for all of Jan 2013. I stayed in a gated community with armed guards with my uncle and his family, very very nice part of Johannesburg. In that month 2 sets of neighbors were killed.
1 set can blame themselves. They drove a brand new Audi R8 music blaring, top down, etc through a township a few times too often and too obviously. Got followed by crooked cops, and murdered for a joy ride. Husband and wife killed over a moderately expensive sports car.
The other family... Husband, Wife, 3 daughters. Couple + 2 daughters get out of their car, killed for their iphones that some gang had seen them answer at the mall or some shit. 3rd daughter was shot in the car and was in critical condition but still alive last time I checked. Over an iphone. The prevailing opinion is that it is easier to murder and get away with it, than it is to risk being identified later.
It is EXTREMELY dangerous to be a white person in South Africa, especially if you are an obvious tourist, or look like you have money. Remember to take into account that US lower-middle class ($30,000? per year?) is exponentially more money than the vast majority of people in South Africa. The common idea is that if you are American, you must be rich.
Add on top of that a president that was caught singing a song entitled "Kill All the Boers" in public. "Boers" are farmers of Dutch heritage in South Africa.
It is a very strange place that as an educated white you cannot help but feel fearful,...the place MAKES YOU racist. I have no problems with black people in the US. I'm involved in music, have recorded a number of hiphop groups, one of my best buddies is black and is over playing card games and drinking every week. I have spent literally my entire life in the US angry about racism, attempting to fight stereotypes, and doing my absolute best to treat people equally. But being back in South Africa changed all of that in a week.
If you want to see my country, just go to California (where I live). The climate is nearly identical, Malibu looks like Pretoria / The Cape. You'll have a much nicer time. Literally the only difference is that in CA not everything (and everyone) is trying to kill you.
The Georgia question is understandable. I didn't know Georgia was also the name of a country until Russia invaded. So.. you know.. thanks, Russia. Now that I think about it I've learned a lot about Ukraine and Crimea lately. Russian aggression is really helping my geography skills.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I only recently spotted the two exist but I live in the UK and come from an ignorant family, so that's my excuse.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:21:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I now understand the line in Back In The U.S.S.R. by The Beatles that says "The Ukraine girls really knock me out, they leave the west behind. And Moscow girls make me sing and shout, that Georgia's always on my m-m-m-mind!"
this is downright hilarious, I want to carry her around on my shoulder to narrate my daily happenings. I lost it at "what's all this Russia bullshit?" What's she doing these days? Did elementary education work out-or is this all recent-?
the fact that you originally had to tell her that africa was a continent...
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:59:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where do I go!
Far, far away.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:32:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We do have color televisions here.
uracil · 2 points · Posted at 06:24:31 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
Her not knowing something doesn't mean she is stupid. She is just ignorant.
My best friend had no fucking idea that WWII happened and lots of other common topics. He is 4.0GPA now, with full time job and he got accepted to an Optometry School in Canada, still doesn't know Italy was involved in WWII. He knows what he needs to know and couldn't care less about random trivia.
People on reddit love circlejerking about how "smart" they are compared to their friends just because they read few TIL posts and brag about it, looking like complete asshats themselves.
The only douchey thing about your post is implying that you can be of inferior mind to teach elementary school. Just because the content is simple doesn't necessarily make it easier. Teaching the basics of reading requires pretty in-depth understanding of phonetics, not to mention how the brain works, effective teaching methods, and much more. Imagine teaching a kindergartner that comes in not knowing any letters, and by the end of the year has to be able to read full sentences. It's not something any idiot can do.
No, you're totally right. It was a joke, and looking back on it, a rather tasteless one. As I explained (somewhere on this thread...no idea...), this is primarily why I was so horrified at her inability to learn...or teach for that matter.
I had a roommate who wanted to teach k-8 and she got her masters for it--I understand that it's no joke and applaud you for moving forward with your education. It's an incredibly difficult job--one I'd be absolutely awful at.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:09:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think a non-insecure person should be able to read that as a joke and not an actual belief that teaching is easy.
Now I feel really stupid. Only in the last 6 months did I learn that South Africa was it's own country and not a cluster of countries.
For example, there's North America and South America. I'm not good as geography.
txobi · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, all this time I have been watching black&white TV, that's nice to know...
To be fair, she sounds nice. It seems like way too many people who are ignorant don't put themselves out there because other people make fun of them for it and then they never learn.
I think that's really the reason I got frustrated...it's like she couldn't hold onto any information.
I genuinely thought that maybe she had some kind of learning disability that made it difficult for her, but she got tested a few times and wound up typical.
I have a current friend who is like her, but she will actually retain what she learns. I don't fault someone who is ignorant, but it is difficult to continue a friendship when someone keeps asking you the same thing over and over again despite you answering them.
True story: my brother went to a school specializing in teaching kids with varying mental disabilities. One of his best friends has down's, and when I told him this story, I shit you not, he said, "I'm smarter than she is, and I'm literally retarded."
Let me guess, that eventually became her stripper name.
HER: Do they have color televisions in Spain?
Poor Spaniards, could never crack that color TV code. Seriously, this one is pretty wtf. Is this how she judged all societies? Those who have color tv vs those who don't?
To tell you the truth, I wound up talking so much shit about her towards the end of our friendship that it would have been impossible not to remember some of what she said.
snsv · 1 points · Posted at 14:55:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
one form of japanese written language uses the same characters as chinese.
I'm half Brazilian, and I've gotten a lot of "So you speak Spanish?" or "But you're not black?" but never once have I gotten "So you speak Mexican?" so thanks for that.
Kaden3 · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Georgia one sounds like the kind of mistake anyone would make if they hadn't been told about the country. That was your cue to tell her about the country. Sounds like she just had a terrible geography class in high school.
Pretty entertaining but also mind-suicide to read this, just one criticism of your comment: Mensa is well known for simply being a shiny badge for insecure people to claim they're smart because of. It has a minimum IQ, and IQ has been shown to have very little impact on intelligence, meaning that it has no real correlation. It's mostly a measure of where you are compared to your peers in terms of knowledge in school. It doesn't really have much to do with thinking capacity, or logic ability. A kid with a high IQ (like myself) may know a lot as a little kid, and be ahead of the average kid that age. Once you get to high school, there's relatively little deviation in knowledge. Yeah, there are people who don't know the answer to a test, people who get different grades, but if you arbitrarily say that an average 18 year old knows 100,000 things, and 10,000 of them are school things, that means that even the kid who doesn't care about school still has the first 90,000 things in common. The only way to determine intelligence at that point is to measure their ability to think critically, to use the knowledge that they have in an efficient, effective, and relevant way, and in general to make decisions.
I happen to be reasonably intelligent and also had a high IQ as a kid but that doesn't mean those 2 things are related. I also am not a valedictorian, I had some maturity issues with working with shitty teachers in freshman year and a little of sophomore year in which I would blame them for my grades since up to that point, I simply absorbed information and got straight A's. High school is when they required me to actually learn some on my own, and think for myself. So I don't have a 4.0 GPA, but I do have a 4.0 in senior year right now. So basically IQ and GPA aren't really great indicators of intelligence.
HER: Oh! You know what? I think it's herpes that I caught one time!
ME: That was a canker sore.
To be entirely fair, cold sores are caused by a herpes virus and can be difficult for a layperson to distinguish from canker sores.
HER: Do they have color televisions in Spain?
You know what? My only experience with someone thinking a modern nation was apparently living the stone age also involves Spain, I wonder what's up with that. My stepsister is from Spain (is it ex-stepsister if our parents later divorced? meh) and the same age, so she was in my class in school when she and her mom moved to the US. As she was being introduced to the class people were allowed to ask her some questions, and like 7 people asked stupid stuff like, "Do they have electricity there? Does Spain have cars?" etc.
My sister's baby-daddy. Holy shit he is dumb. After watching Avatar, he asked if it was based on a true story. Um, he thought artichoke was a type of fish. I told him once "Don't play dumb with me, you'll win every time," he said "uh, what?"
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 11:12:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is baby-daddy like... they aren't in a relationship or they aren't married?
avatar as in blue cat people, ok and maybe artichoke isn't as known to as many people as I thought
ES_Kan · 5 points · Posted at 15:27:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I always confuse artichoke and anchovies. I swear I'm not dumb.
meewho · 3 points · Posted at 17:11:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Met a girl who was told that artichokes were a fish. She said she never questioned it because she always saw "artichoke hearts"and so it made sense they were animals. She was stunned when she saw them in a grocery store.
Damn it, up until last week I thought artichoke was a type of fish. I didn't confuse it with anchovies; I didn't confuse it with anything. For some reason I just always assumed it was.
[deleted] · 27 points · Posted at 05:44:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hired a new receptionist. She spelled everyone's names wrong (Brain, no it's Brian). We overlooked that. She was very sweet. So in our business, it really was necessary that she understood the concept of square footage. So I actually drew on the giant plate glass window in front of her desk a grid of square feet......Total incomprehension. She also could not read a ruler.
Probably me in earlier elementary classes. When asked what "swam" meant, I blanked. I just couldn't put it together that it was the past the tense of swim. I kept picturing it as onomatopoeia for when someone smacked you or something, like pow, or biff. These kind of mistakes happened all the time.
That's pretty good! I am just picturing one of those old batman comics and someone gets hit to the resounding picture/sound of a giant "SWAM!" Thanks for the mental picture!
being comedic - just because someone is serious after you start laughing rather than laughing with you doesn't mean it wasn't a joke.
trying to get a guy to show his smarts, by feigning stupidity so he would correct her, and she could be more open that she likes and appreciates him.
being sociable - trying to help relationships which are strained because a friend of hers is jealous about capacity at one thing, so she feigns inferiority at another so the friend feels good about personal capacity.
misattributions and false memories where part of the confusion is remembered and part isn't.
i've noticed a bunch of these both in this thread and even back when i was in highschool. generally guys would misinterpret the intent.
Or rather it's because they are the ones that people remember. If the class retard/clown say something stupid yet again you don't batch an eye. But if that hot chick with good grades says something stupid you'd think "Wow I didn't know she was that stupid to think that the sun revolves around the earth".
We had one guy in class where every second sentence he said was something absurdly stupid, I don't really remember anything of it since the sky is blue and he says stupid shit. But I do remember that this girl once asked the teacher where the heart is located. The reason I remember that is because she was one of the two who had the best grades in the entire school. Though in this case it might just be that someone else was arguing with her where the heart was located and she just asked the teacher to clarify.
You know this made me realize something. I say stupid shit all the time but for some reason, everyone thinks I'm actually smart. The second one of my female friends has a "dumb blond" moment, even if it was only once, every single person assumes they're an idiot from that point forward and even tells other people about it.
[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 14:45:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you a guy? People seem to like to assume men are smarter and women are dumb. Then confirmation bias gets in.
I'm a guy and I find myself telling real deadpan jokes that just fall flat because people don't catch on, I normally act stupid, but you all of a sudden think I actually think the moon is made of cheese?
trying to get a guy to show his smarts, by feigning stupidity so he would correct her, and she could be more open that she likes and appreciates him.
Ugh, this bothers me. I dated a girl like this once who was really smart. We were a good match because we were among the most intelligent people at our high school so it was hard to find good conversation (I'm no genius, it was just a small school in a rural area so being above average for that zip code wasn't too hard). Anyway, despite being so smart (she later declined several med school acceptances and decided to go to Harvard Law School instead if that tells you anything) she played "stupid and ditzy" all the freaking time. I think it was a coping mechanism she had developed to deal with people, but it bugged the hell out of me and her inability to reliably shut it off was what eventually lead to our breakup.
Yeah I've read somewhere that women actually do very marginally better than men at IQ tests but they tend to play dumb from time to time. I've played dumb when I thought it would benefit me and also in a joking way that may not have been apparent.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:46:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Men have greater variation in IQ scores. People with genius level IQ are more likely to be male but so are people with really low IQ.
That said a lot of this stuff is about knowledge, not actual intelligence.
That is interesting, but on average women do score 1 point higher, which isn't much but it may disproves the idea floating around this thread that women are stupider than men.
[deleted] · 39 points · Posted at 10:52:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not exactly hard to believe that the average redditor didn't understand girls in high school.
As a girl in high school I can confirm that there are some who fake it but a lot actually really do just not know things. I've had conversations with girls that were not around guys or their friend groups that baffled me at how much they did not know or understand. Some examples-
-Girl thought that there were male and female bulls, and then male and female cows, and that they were two separate animals. When attempting to explain to her that it is one animal with two different names for gender, just like a deer can be a buck or a doe, she seriously could not wrap her brain around it. Also thought only the spotted cows were actual cows
-Had to explain to some girls that "that black president of Africa that died" was not the president of all of Africa, and that Africa is a continent, South Africa is a country, etc.
-Friend of mine does not know what a lot of words mean that, while not extremely common are still used in average speech, like "deceived" or "reversable"
-One of my favorites, a girl who asked me a question about the "Boston Tea Party Massacre."
Equally, there are plenty of dumb high school boys I have witnessed show their idiocy in class. Being in a rural public school tends to bring about amusing moments like these fairly often.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 21:14:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, definitely. I'm not saying that high school girls can't be stupid, I just think that the disproportionate number of female examples says a lot about how redditors saw girls in high school.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 13:41:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A lot of girls play the "I'm stupid" card because they think guys find it attractive.
I wonder, maybe it's easier to remember when a woman does something stupid? People often think that women can't do certain jobs and have cetain majors in college. Maybe some of these people are remembering the stupid women more?
your comment should be much higher up in the thread.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:31:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or maybe after high school we just don't have to deal with people just because they live in the same area as us? There was a guy who couldn't tell time in my high school, yet he wore an analog watch since he thought they were cooler. I felt really bad for him, but also asked him for the time whenever I could.
[deleted] · -8 points · Posted at 09:04:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
being comedic - just because someone is serious after you start laughing rather than laughing with you doesn't mean it wasn't a joke.
I'm sorry, but its pretty obvious that its a joke. HS students aren't exactly known for the deep satire and subtlety. I really hate it when a stupid person is regarded as "funny," especially if your profession is based on comedy or you aspire to make comedy.
"Oh she's hilarious, you'll love her." spend 4 hours with a serious ditz while her friends laugh at her
I know it seems dumb but I have an IQ of 155, got an ACT score of 31 and have no problem with grasping any other common information or skills but honestly I couldn't read an analog clock until high school and still have trouble if a clock doesn't have numbers. I just can't figure out the spatial aspect of it which is bizarre since I love geometry and excel at it.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 01:42:39 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have an IQ of a 158, still takes me 10 seconds to read an Analog clock.
It really takes constant practice. In high school I'd have to stare at it covertly for a good 30 seconds thinking "Now the big hand in on the 8. that's minutes, and the little hand in halfway between 1 and 2..." It was only after working at my job for 3 years with only face clocks for time that I could do it in 5 seconds instead of 30 seconds. Still can't do it instantly. I have problems with Left and right too. I feel like clock reading and left and right knowing uses that same weak spot on my brain.
A girl from my high school thought Nazi was a city in Germany. As in Nazi, Germany.
[deleted] · 65 points · Posted at 04:11:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Taylor swift...she lives five minutes from me and she tried to claim a public road as her own. Cut the shit lady our tax payers were here before you were.
Her: "I want that dinner special, alleviate this item for that, alleviate that item for this."
[let her complete her order]
My: "Hmm, pardon me, but did you say alleviate? If I'm thinking correctly it means to-..."
Her: "To substitute. Trust me, I'm a head cook at my job and I use this type of terminology all the time."
Me: "But, I believe it means to "make less severe." This is something medical professionals use. For example--..."
Her: "To replace something on your dish for something you desire. You have it wrong. SEE?! WE LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY! Put that in your dictionary and show how informed and learned you are."
I see what you're saying, and I don't disagree with it.
But you get bored on slow days. Sometimes I may ask certain things or prod them to see what type of reaction I might get just for the fun of it.
Edit: also, I almost never (if that makes any sense) correct people, unless I really didn't appreciate a certain comment such as racial slurs.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:34:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fair enough. I can see why you would on slow days, I've just never worked a service industry gig where I HAD slow days sadly...
And you're definitely a better man than me, I correct people all the time. If they're just wrong I do it privately and in a friendly way, but I can't stand to see some idiot I facts spread.
Hey I envy you. I'd rather have NO slow days than to have them. Though, every day you'll have a slow hour like Mondays 3-4 PM where NO ONE is around / still at work / picking up kids at school. So there's some time to shoot the sh*t with customers :P
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:19:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're right, waiting tables I liked to be busy, more tips and the time went faster. Washing dogs while working the front though? Hell. Absolute hell. A 12 hour day filled with frantic washing, wrestling struggling dogs, and the barking... oh the barking...
Dude, try sitting up front with a clock in front of you, with no customers in sight for the past hour. Oh god. I want to punch myself.
Sheesh, sometimes I have to walk around, find something that I can clean (like shakers, sugar boxes, dirty menus and checkbooks).
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:42:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah yeah, my friend complained about that when she was a hostess at a restaurant that was always dead.
Zudane · 6 points · Posted at 20:40:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to look it up, curious if there is perhaps another meaning of alleviate...
b : to partially remove or correct <measures taken to alleviate a labor shortage>
It's not 100% accurate to what the customer said - hell it really isn't 60% accurate, but it would make as much sense as saying "correct the mushrooms for onion".
By technicality it might just work, even though it wouldn't be right.
I mean, yes, you could actually use that definition and get away with it. I definitely understood what she meant (otherwise she would be yelling and screaming at me if the order was wrong). But the way she used it makes sense, but doesn't sound correct. Like in Spanish, if you were to say "My name is...", you can't say "Mi nombre es...", but rather "Me llamo es...". If I were to say that en España or any Spanish-speaking country, they would understand, but under their breathe they'd call me un chino tonto, o un gringo.
If she was foreign, I'd shut my mouth, because I give the foreign customer much more credit for trying to speak a different language. But because her English was at a native level, I tend to be more unforgiving on word usage.
Haruon · 4 points · Posted at 14:25:58 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hi there, I know this post is 5 months old, but I wanted to tell you that you can in fact say "Mi nombre es" in Spanish, for example, "Mi nombre es Pedro. And also you can say "Me llamo Pedro" but without the verb "es" because "llamo" is already the verb.
Source: I'm mexican.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 11:47:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can see what you're saying because this sounds so inane, it doesn't seem right, correct? (Although, both of us are in a thread that's asking for dumbest people we've met). As someone who works in a Chinese restaurant (and not some take-out only place but with a full dining room and bar), I have seen so many stupid and ignorant people in my life, that I've become numb to everything they say. Maybe I should start writing each dumb comment I've heard and post it on a FML / Texts from Last Night-esque website.
I feel a connection with you. Do you feel it? I don't know what it is but the way you type is amazing! I'm proud to call you my friend.
Now that we're best buds, all these insults are flattering. I never knew you cared so much about me. It's like the girl in school you used to pick on, but you secretly were in love with. Well, i'm secretly in love with you. I will follow you to the ends of the earth. I will be there for you ALWAYS!
I'm carving your name into my arm right now. I don't have any blades, so i'm using a paperclip. Feel free to do the same with my name. I suggest a blade though, the paperclip hurts a lot.
Can't wait to go online tomorrow and see you. Not to worry, I know there are boundaries with every relationship and won't show up in every thread, but you can count on me being there.
Isn't that strange how sometimes the person you're thinking of suddenly calls you? Tell me that's not a sign?
Anyway, talking with Mike he wouldn't definitely like to meet you. I must have talked his ear off telling him about you. I'm not sure what days are good for you. Saturdays are best for me.
As expected Jesse is nowhere to be found. I don't know what goes through his head. Doesn't he know he hurts his friends when he shuts himself out like this. Maybe he's depressed. I was depressed for several years and the only thing I wanted to do was sit at home all day watching tv. Took a while but I was able to overcome the depression. The meds the doctor gave helped a lot. Fortunately I only had to use them for 6 months. I would hate to be depended on them for life.
Maybe i'll send Jesse an email suggesting he go see a doctor. Hope I don't push him away even further.
I've been telling my friends about you. I hope you can meet them soon.
Jeff is a little abrasive, but given enough time I think you two will get along.
Mike is the friendliest guy you'll ever meet. He's a little shy at first, but next thing you know he'll be your (second) best friend.
Jesse is a little strange. He just sorta shows up when people least expect it. Nobody really knows when they'll see him again. If you're lucky you wont have to wait that long
On the topic of taking orders, I was at an Applebee's and overheard a lady pronounce tortilla with the l's. She did it multiple times and put emphasis on the word tortilla like it was fuckin funny. I wanted so bad to throw my plate at the back of he head.
A friend of my ex who is notorious for making poor choices was dating a soldier from Texas. I don't like to assume, but this idiot fit the bill for dumb hick; mostly because their response to ANYTHING even remotely off the beaten path or above a 5th grade level was "Well shucks, I'm just a hick from Texas. I don't know much. Just a country kid at heart."
There is NOTHING dumber than being dumb because you think dumb is the only thing you can be.
As a fellow southerner, I have heard this used quite a few times as kind of a detracting device/self-deprecating gesture. I think it's some kind of strange politeness thing, like saying "I don't have an opinion about that" or "I completely disagree with you and think you're an asshole, but I'm not actually going to say that to your face."
"I am only a young girl unfamiliar with the ways of war," said Daenerys...
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 00:34:06 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, especially Texas and Kentucky in my experience. Its just like saying "whatever man, I wouldn't know I guess" but people assume its pride in ignorance.
Well, I guess its understandable to assume that, I seems lot of that here too.
It's depressing really, I am fairly smart and proud of that fact, but the more I read up on new topics the more I realise I know bugger all about pretty much everything.
Trust me, it's even more depressing and surprising when you realize how often your parents were in fact, right! Just gaining experience from life as you age, and learning how to handle new situations, always humbles me.
I always thought I was pretty smart as well, I still think I am, but there are utter universes of things I know nothing about. However, it's never once made me want to stop learning. You'll get used to it as you get older.
I have always wondered if my kids when I have some will think they know everything better than I do. Fairly sure they will and I look forward to smiling inwardly as they talk down to me while spouting rubbish.
If they become normal teenagers, you will certainly have those moments where they think they know everything and you are lame. I think a good sense of humor is the best defense.
I agree knowing that you know nothing is a very important concept in intelligence because you're able grasp the fact that there are knowledge gaps in your mind that need to filled instead of just not thinking about it or speaking on topics you know nothing about. I just wish that the person would try and fill the gaps by internal drive instead of just ignoring them.
Meh, not everyone has the capacity to be smart. What pisses me off are people that think they're insanely smart and are actually really stupid. Basically the Dunning–Kruger effect.
An American friend of mine said that he was disparaged by his family for seeking an advanced education. Their attitude was that doing so was disrespectful of his ancestors. They had been farmers and he should be too. He was being "uppity" by aspiring for more.
It seems that their attitude was that you should climb no higher than your ancestors, and their hard work was not to provide you with shoulders to stand on.
I really hate people that take pride in being ignorant. I grew up in Louisiana and in college I had an English professor jump all over a student for saying something along those lines you put. Our professor snapped back in a harsh tone, "Don't ever take pride in being ignorant" right back to the guy saying that. The whole class got silent.
I heard that there is internet in other countries now, too.
sadzora · 12 points · Posted at 10:14:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey did ya know? America is not the only country with electricity, television and the internet. Hell there's even airplanes and escalators in some o' dem dar foreign parts. I can assure you that any girl new to the country has already used the internet in her daily life. Probably since birth.
You are in fact bullshitting, it's really obvious.
I feel like she might of clicked a link that was led to a Youtube video with something like =54s in the link, so it was fastforwarded a little bit, and she was like what the fuck? Or she's dumb.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:06:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was little I would only watch he same movie every once in a while because I didn't want the actors to get tired from acting out the movie again.
I consider myself a good man; I never rewind the ads.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:56:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a former video store clerk I applaud this girl for her courtesy, kindness and rewindness. True or not, I'd like to think that the next YouTube video I see has been pre-buffered by the user before me...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:18:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roomate just said the big bang theory is when all those babies were being born.....he was 100% serious. Didnt have the heart to tell him that hes thinking of baby boomers after ww2.
[deleted] · 57 points · Posted at 10:06:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
J63M · 11 points · Posted at 11:56:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Current Army Cadet here.
Holy shit. The Starbucks thing actually struck me dumb for a few seconds. How was he still in the Cadets after the LSW thing, let alone bombing your CO with coffee on Remembrance Day?
[deleted] · 205 points · Posted at 01:25:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I might as well post here too. In freshman year, about 2 whole months into our new classes, I came into class one day to meet a girl I'd never seen before. She looked familiar, though. I sat down and not so long after, she took her seat next to me. A few minutes later, I overhear her talking with some friends saying, "Yeah, they told me if I skipped one more class, they're kicking me out of school. Bullshit! What kind of a place is this?" That's right. She skipped two whole months of first period and had the audacity to complain about almost being kicked out of school.
Oh, the life we have as uni students. Nobody gives a fuck if I dont show up in class.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 19:46:59 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in high school, my algebra 4 class was split - we were in class for a half hour, then went to lunch, then came back to class for an hour. Well, there was one point where there was something intrisic to the material (that was apparently supposed to be covered in ALG3, but they didn't get to it in my class) that I was struggling with. So I stayed after class to ask for help from the teacher.
After a long, exhaused sigh, he grabbed my sheet and said "Well, first you'd move this here, and then this here... seriously, you just do it. Get outta here."
I was pissed, and didn't come back from lunch that day. Or then next. For almost 2 months, I would come to class for the first half hour, go to lunch, and just not come back. Until one day, as I got up to go to lunch, he stopped me and asked me to have a word with him. I sat down.
"Legato," he said, "Have you been coming back to my class after lunch?"
Me: "Errr..."
Him: "Because according to my records, you haven't come back the last... 2 days."
I feel if you both went to the same school this can be ignored if the majority of people at said school had the understanding of what ever was being discussed
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:03:37 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Catholic school grades 1 to 8.
Great education by nuns.
1974: Grade 9 public school, advanced class English.
Verbal report to class on "news."
Stand up, start talking about Watergate indictments.
Never heard word before.
Pronounce it "in-dikt-ments."
Class, teacher die laughing.
Only time in my life phonics failed me.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 11:41:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I love the way people believe common knowledge is that one movie you really liked and thought it was a classic
Oxidda · 3 points · Posted at 10:17:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
woppo · 138 points · Posted at 08:02:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chris Grayling, Minister for Justice here in the UK and also my local elected representative.
He just banned prisoners from being able to receive books.
Really going to improve their rehabilitation and reintegration with society.
I simply can't believe the abject stupidity of this.
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 09:33:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Prisoners have library access (12 books at a time) and can purchase books with permission, it's to do with good behaviour and reward schemes in the prison so they aren't undermined.
Not saying it's the right way to go about it (there are other issues with it too, about sending clothing and such) but everyone's going nuts without understanding the whole story and claiming it's a total ban on books.
Basically, packages with books in aren't received by prisoners. You actually have to send money to the prisoner so that they can buy the book from the prison/ get the prison to but the book. It is a ridiculous notion and all it does is save people opening a few packages to check for drugs.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:21:08 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or checking every square centimeter of every page of every book for the LSD.
Yes, this is a real thing, even celebrated in movies.
That's fucking awful. What is the point of that? They read more than the average person probably ever would. My brother is serving some time and I don't even know how many books he probably reads a month (and many of them are either quite dense or very long, or both.)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:57:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What possible reason could justify this? Why did he think that would be anything good? Who are all these people who did nothing to stop him? How did this come to pass? How is this legal? I have so many questions!
I said that China was in Asia and four people in my class, including the teacher, were astonished. "But China is a country." I had to explain continents.
I had to explain to my mother that Egyptians aren't the same as Indians. India is a not a continent. The differences between Hindi and Arabic aren't like the differences between British English and American English. They're two completely different languages. Egypt isn't in the middle east. It's not even in Asia.
I am not a geography expert. I went to third and ninth grade.
My brother is a special case, I think he wins because he HAS a brain and CHOOSES not not use it, that makes him far worse than an actual idiot who had the misfortune of poor breeding.
My brother. who we will call brother dearest...Is an evil monster of lazy cruelty and sheer stupidity.
he gave me as toddler a cigarette once.
My brother when he was a wee lad (7) helped my sister bring a horse into the living room of our house. an unbroken Arabian yearling, imagine a jumpy horse on crack, that is what they brought inside.
he once made his 8 year old sister hold up sheetrock to a ceiling on a ladder while he hammered it in...he was 6'7" and 18 he also walked away for a while while i held it up.....stuck.
He once got chased by a hummingbird. terrified out of his mind.
He had a habit of being a douchebag to his friends, couch surfing from place to place until they forgot what he did to them and would repeat it.
He once introduced my mom to a psychotic biker ( he had just gotten out of the AU version bellevue and my brother knew) who began to stalk her when he forgot his meds, poisioned my mom, had screaming fits where he broke shit and slit my cats throat.
He helped that biker blow his friends car up one night, side note the biker got his face burned up and is the same guy with the dog treats from above.
He forgot to pay a phone bill of $8000 and got arrested.
He forgot to renew his visa and got deported from Australia and can't go back now.
He managed to run not one, not two but three seperate cars into ditches. and one into a fucking pond. THIS MAN IS A TRUCK DRIVER NOW.
He's a compulsive liar and falls for his own lies often.
He used to beat me up all the time and play innocent. he's 10 years my Sr. he did this until i was 16
he got lost in Disneyland
Also on the way home from school once, pre school. (he was chatting with a gardener on the school grounds)
He used to be afraid of having his hair touched, he'd scream if anyone tried to wash his hair or cut it.
He knocked up three women before marrying an abusive woman who closely resembles jabba the hut and takes care of her 5 kids.
He did hard drugs and stole constantly from my mother and sold my game-boys to feed his addiction. lying when he was caught, he'd try to convince you your own memory was wrong and he was right.
my brother thought he was a warlock when he was 20. He thought it was cool to paint his thumb nails black with silver flecks.
My brother hated america and religion, until he hit about 28 when he became a christian, he told me originally it was "just in case" as in well IF god exists i better be on his side when i cork it.
He soon believed this lie so thoroughly he forgot it was just in case and became a bible thumper
and all american truck driver who said last time we spoke and i quote "you should be hung for treason" because i casually mentioned the iraq citizens not involved in the war (all 100.000) that died due to 9-11, as compared to our 9k or so (including 9-11 itself) the first comment to me in 4 years and the last.
He once kicked my cat into a window, it's not stupid necessarily but evil, that cat effing hated him.
He also let his dog get parvo and it died.
He tried to repair a vacuum cord while it was plugged in it caught fire.
He called CPS and got myself and him taken away for 2 weeks (him 16 me 6) because he didn't like mom calling the cops when he'd go mission for days to stay with a family of drug addicts and dealers, go around to shops and buy cigarettes and alcohol by lying about his age and generally being a dick. he also had this plan to get taken by CPS get adopted by the mother of the drug addicts household (a shack with 9 people two of which were 12 year old twins that were sluts and known as the hoover twins (as in vacuum) and make my mother pay child support to the mother. this was mostly the womans idea but he still did it.
what pushed him over the edge and made him call CPS was mom going to all the shops to tell them he was actually 16 not 24. they were shocked. To this day i WISH SO MUCH i knew how he could convince everyone in the valley he was a 24 year old orphan millionaire who "forgot" his ID at home. HOW HOW HOW!!! IT BOGGLES MY MIND HOW THIS GUY COULD BE SO CLEVER AND SIMULTANEOUSLY FUCKING STUPID
My brother house sat for us over a weekend and we opened the door to find him asleep in the living room while the weakest most exausted cries were coming from one of the bathrooms. Our kitten had fallen in the toilet and was so exhausted and cold it could barely hold itself up any longer but was yowling loud as hell anyway, i assume it had been in there for at least a day given it's condition.
there are hundreds of more where he's even more stupid. I'll edit if i think of any or when i talk to mom next.
Dude I went to high school with didn't know that Chicago was in Illinois. But the best part is we lived in Illinois and our high school WAS 45 FUCKING MINUTES OUTSIDE OF CHICHAGO. WTF.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 19:56:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I lived overseas a bunch of my life and went to Miami once. On the plane my sister exclaimed "Hey we're in Florida!" and I responded "No we're in Miami". Turns out Miami isn't a State, but a city in Florida...
Durbee · 55 points · Posted at 05:46:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The cold call gent, who upon ringing my doorbell and trying to get me to switch electricity provider, would not take no for an answer. He refused to leave my property at first, then declared it was obvious my husband wasn't home to make the right decision for me, yelling "You'll be sorry for this! I'll be back for you later."
I took a little satisfaction when the cops brought him 'round for identification. Suck it, misogynist asshole.
Raion05 · 16 points · Posted at 12:30:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommate. I'm a lesbian and she asked me and my gf at the time what we use for birth control. She asked because she was convinced her "all natural" remedies to regulate her period is an effective form of birth control.
She also didn't know what day New Year's Eve was... So I told her December 32 and she accepted it.
She also killed my plants by just giving them fertilizer because she "didn't know plants needed water."
Met a girl who said she wanted a nose job, specifically to get rid of her nostrils. completely. To close up her nostrils.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 19:33:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Upvote for being the first to make me laugh.
Ankylus · 14 points · Posted at 22:10:20 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
The absolute best high school football player I ever saw play in person was also probably also the dumbest person I ever met. To give you an idea how good he was, I saw Andrew Luck play in high school and this guy was better.
Coming out of high school, he couldn't read. OK, not necessarily his fault. Social promotions and all that. A major college football program arranged for him to take his SAT orally. He still only made the minimum score that you get for just writing your name on the paper.
But damn he was good! So, the major college football program got him into school anyway and arranged his schedule so as to keep him eligible.
Except, in his first semester there, he got into some legal trouble. The college was in a very rural area and he kept seeing cattle everywhere. And he knew enough to know that they were worth money. So he decided to steal one. In perhaps the most intelligent thing he every did, he reasoned that he would need some way to transport the cattle to the place of sale. So he stole a truck and a trailer.
Somehow, he got somebody's bull into the stolen trailer. I don't understand how he could have done this, because bulls aren't very compliant. Perhaps it was real young, or he lured it or something. That might actually have been his greatest intellectual achievement. Or maybe he stole the truck and trailer already loaded with the bull. The story came to me a little fuzzy on this point.
But once he gets the bull in the trailer, he realizes that he doesn't know where you actually sell cattle. He's a city boy, after all, and he unfortunately just didn't think that far ahead. But, he apparently figures there must be lots of places to do that since there are so many cattle around. So he starts driving all over the county in the stolen truck and stolen trailer looking for a place to sell the stolen bull.
And, of course, the police catch him red-handed in the act of driving around looking for someplace to sell the stolen bull.
A sad story. Even the college football program couldn't keep him out of jail or in school after that. After he got out of prison, he went home and a couple of years later was killed in a drug deal gone bad.
One of my exes. He bit into a onion ring at Arby's, I was surprised because he hates onions but then he announces to the whole table " There are onions in this!! I thought they were made out of potato!!!" He said stuff like this all the time...
Guy I worked with at the liquor store. Had a pregnant wife who obviously was cheating on him. He found out she had 2 VD's. He said "Well I'm gonna go get mah self tested and if I'm negative she and I are gonna have ta start wearin' condoms"
He also said the reason why he ate so many pork rinds is because he is part native american (his grandmother was a Cherokee princess...) and that native Americans genetically require more salt.
EDIT: I forgot about the golden time his wife tried to home-abort. She was in the hospital due to "complications" and he came in to work chuckling about the darndest thing his oldest daughter said. She said she wanted that drink that mommy drinks. She pointed out the laundry detergent.
My old roommate, we'll call her Kim, was hands down the dumbest person I'd ever met. Once, we went to Little Caesar's to pick up pizza for everyone back at our house, so she called her boyfriend to see what he wanted. He says to her, "I want a pizza with half cheese, and half Hawaiian." She hangs up, and proceeds to order him a pizza with half cheese, and half Hawaiian... with NO CHEESE. I told her, "Kim, not sure that's what he had in mind..." to which she replied, "Um, I think I know my boyfriend better than you. If he wanted cheese, he would have asked for it" We got home, he opened his pizza, looked at her, and said, "Are you fucking retarded?"
She ran to her room and cried. We got high and laughed at her. Good times all around.
You sound fairly intelligent judging someone based on one reddit post... She was a bitch, so laughing at her was warranted. I'm fine with owning this lol
[deleted] · 60 points · Posted at 05:38:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister regularly posts facebook drama about people who talk bad about other people at white trash redneck bars where garage bands play to "crowds" of 20 people. Her latest husband, of course, is in one of these said bands.
She just turned 51.
maxohkc · 53 points · Posted at 02:48:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I used to work with was beyond stupid. Well that's what we thought until she scored a 30 on her ACT. Didn't believe it til I saw it. I saw her again a couple years later completely different person.
I think in high school a lot of people pretend to be stupid just for a small bit of attention. It starts to go away as they mature and learn its probably not the beat way to get attention
You just described my sister. She adopted this ditzy personality all through middle school and in to high school. She grew out of it senior year and excelled in college, but for a while there she was willfully acting like an idiot for the attention.
Remember, being knowledge stupid is not the same as being logic stupid.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man, I acted stupid in junior high and he first part of highschool because it is SUPER awkward telling someone you won't let then cheat off you because they're too stupid to not get caught.
Decron · 23 points · Posted at 02:55:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A girl I knew in tenth grade thought that Franz Ferdinand was a student at our school who got shot in a gang fight.
Edit: I swear his name was Francis.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 06:31:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
A head developer i had to work with who preached the Agile development method but was very bureaucratic himself. I hated working with him. He had no level of self awareness. The dumbest people are people who lack self awareness.
I don't think anyone without an understanding of the software development would get this.
For those who don't: The Agile method is a process for developing software that doesn't focus as heavily on documenting and planning as other processes like the Waterfall method.
The reverse, actually. Because of the Agile structure, code gets passed to technical writers (like myself) and UI designers during development. Some tech writers and UI designers are able to call developers out on weird bits of code. Since they have to explain it to us before we can explain it/show it to users, they have to do a really good job with it.
At least, that's how it is with bigger software companies.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:55:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bigger software companies who can afford to hire dedicated tech writers and stuff work well with Agile. For smaller or more tactical teams, it seems just an excuse to not write any documentation, and to design as you go.
Depends on the discipline of the people programming. I have worked with a scrum team who were refactoring and updating internal tests. Some of the code was horrid as far as commenting, just took a bit of my time to understand, but they did uphold the naming standards.
Documenting is more than adding comments into the code it's also producing and maintaining a requirements document and a design document as well as other documents depending.
This reminds me of one of our scrumasters. One thing she said that still gets joked about today was when we were talking about databases and she asked very seriously, "do we need databases?" Also the same person that was setting up her email account and as soon as she was done she didn't know what password she used.
For sure. "Nothing like a flat file for all that data, amirite? HAHAHA!" but it would have been lost on her. This woman was supposed to be coordinating all of engineering but I thought of her as pigpen the way she used to drag her laptop power cable around behind her. Just a slow motion train wreck.
Oxidda · 2 points · Posted at 10:16:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Could you elobrate on that? Most Agile methods have a lot of built in bureaucratic stuff. Like scrum for example .
Lin fifth grade there was a kid who would always ask stupid questions all day. The most notorious was when we were all watching a nature thing and it showed a baby gazelle getting captured and eaten by a heyena. When the heyena ate the gazelle, the kid asked, "Did the gazelle die?" EVERYONE laughed so hard that our throats hurt. And the poor teacher nearly spit the water out of her mouth.
Girl in grade nine named Jolie. I'm doodling Starry Night in my notebook and she comes by to say "oh wow you're so good at art - you could be Leonardo DiCaprio!" facepalm
She also was playing a game where she had to name countries. She started with Africa, then said Utah. After she said "oh sorry I'm not very good at geometry"
Worst part is SHE GOT INTO THE FUCKING IB PROGRAM!!!!!! I'm not fully sure she didn't hire someone to write her essay for her.
I did the IB program. Pretty sure I know. I wrote an extended essay and took theory of knowledge and wrote all the essays. I meant I don't remember there being an essay to GET IN TO the program which is what I thought OP was talking about.
Once I accidentally said "Leroy Jenkins" instead of "Leonard Nimoy" and didn't even realize it until someone pointed it out.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:30 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
The IB program will let certain people in without testing for certain circumstances. Generally if you fail more than two classes you're kicked out, right?
I met this girl when she was 16 in a med science class in high school. I took the class for free CPR certification, and regretted it every day I was in it.
She had a kid, which is not really the biggest deal to me, not really my problem. The issue is she made everything about her daughter.
When we were learning how to do infant CPR she argued with the teacher all class how she was wrong and trying to get her to kill her baby.
When talking about the importance of vaccines she insisted that the only reason the doctor urged her to vaccinate her kid was because they wanted her money(which, because she lived with her jobless boyfriend, was all welfare).
And the absolute worst part is, because she was allowed to miss more school than most to take care of her kid, she took full advantage of it, and the teacher was required to make a "separate"(incredibly dumbed down) test for her. She would brag about making an 85 on a test someone smart make an 80 on, not realizing her tests were made to make sure she pass so she can be pushed out of the school as soon as possible.
On the bright side, she did stop smoking and drinking when she got pregnant at 15. She started drinking again the day the baby was born, but she doesn't smoke around it.
A girl in my high school was on a diet and at chocolate pudding because it "wasn't solid" so, therefore "it didn't have a lot of calories".
[deleted] · 250 points · Posted at 01:22:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OK lets see here:
Had lice visibly crawling through her hair but refused to believe me because "it's that same rumour from 2 years ago starting up again, how did you hear it?". How she couldn't feel them (and how I didn't catch them) I'll never know.
Had breath like a rotten corpse. When I confronted her hygiene issues, she yelled at me for being "Miss Perfect".
At 16 when she was already dating someone, asked the teacher what contraception was.
When I asked her why she wouldn't do work in class, she said "I'll just fail". I told her I don't want to see her fail and she said "It's my choice".
Couldn't say hospital. Still said hostible at 17.
Deliberately ran into a wall to get the group's attention.
Couldn't do a basic forward roll without falling sideways.
I knew a guy very similar to her. He asked me if America was in Australia, he couldn't spell Harry Potter in 6th grade, he spelled it "habty pobter". Same lack of hygeine as the girl.
My stepsiblings are 10 and 11 and can't read or tell the time, nor do they understand any of the films they watch. I showed Mulan to one and she was utterly clueless as to what she was watching, I don't think she even grasped what "Asian" was. I saw her watching Big Brother and asked her to explain it to me. "They're all actors". She started boasting about learning at school that nothing could be a liquid and a solid. I said "What about water?", she shoots me the greasiest look thinking I've just proved how dumb I am and I say "It can be frozen into ice" followed by her face immediately changing to utter shock and embarrassment.
The thing they all had in common is they all thought they were hot shit and smarter than everyone else. When I tried to teach my stepsister to read, she'd sit there laughing about how easy it was, despite not being able to pronounce anything.
Yeah, really, being 16 and not knowing what contraception is seems like more of a failure on the parents' and the educational system's part, not hers.
Self-harm (even running into a wall) is almost always a cry for help and attention because the individual feels neglected or ignored by their social group.
The defeatist attitude of "Why work, I will just fail?" very likely came around because someone close to her (parents, teachers, friends) told her she was dumb and would never be able to succeed, and referring to it as her "choice" to fail seems like a really desperate attempt to gain control over something in her life.
It's the same reason a lot of people who have some form of mental illness retreat into drugs, over-eating, and other self-destructive tendencies knowing in full how dangerous they are; many of them feel like they can't control any positive changes in their life, so they attempt to control the negative changes instead.
I knew I would find a post in this thread that just made me feel bad, and this is the one.
That girl probably had some kind of mental illness and/or a horrible home life, but as teenagers, we can't see it for what it is, and we only see some dumb, gross jackass.
[deleted] · 100 points · Posted at 01:26:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had lice visibly crawling through her hair
Please, no.
[deleted] · 53 points · Posted at 01:30:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm still scarred by it. I had a suspicion for a long time so I worked up the courage to watch her hair for a few minutes while she was distracted. Took 10 seconds to see two.
Where is this? I would actually believe there might be some mental health issues. Not sure about your stepsiblings though, but those other two seem to have something going on in the upstairs.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 04:02:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where, like location? Australia. Middle class suburbia.
In an abusive home? I had a friend that worked with special ed kids in a public elementary school. She told me that some of them weren't actually mentally deficient, their home lives were just so bad they had the symptoms of mental retardation. She told me stories of six year olds whose parents sent them nothing in their lunch but Oreos and let them fall asleep on the couch every night watching Family Guy. I guarantee you these are the same kids who have a baby within a decade and either drop out or graduate as functionally illiterate.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 02:59:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why does everyone always assume bad things mean you live in some third world country? Kinda racist, even if you didn't intend it...
They live a comfortable white middle class life with enough money to be financially secure. They simply have a negligent mother who drinks instead of spending time with them.
I didn't see anything that indicated some other country. But it is curious. Sorry to hear that their mother doesn't spend time with them.. some tutorial would go a long way I would think.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 04:01:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The irony is she's a teacher. She just doesn't give a shit about them.
rahtin · 3 points · Posted at 04:41:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's hard to care when you drink to stop yourself from caring.
Some of these seem to not be directly her fault. As /u/mementomori4 said, she probably didn't have a very good home life. Or high self esteem. As evidenced by her claiming that her lice was a rumor, possibly because she has been bullied in the past and believed she was being bullied again.
Yelling calling you miss perfect might be because she sees herself as inferior.
Not knowing what contraception is might be because she never had a good parent who taught her about sex ed.
Her failing in class is a telltale sign of low self esteem, she might have once done good in school, but her grades declined as the years went on, perhaps she was never good at schoolwork, wither way it is clear she doesn't think she is capable of doing good.
The Hostible thing might simply be a word she struggles with saying, a lot of people have them.
Not being able to do a forward roll? Well fuck her for not being able to do something that will likely serve no purpose whatsoever and is not a test of intellect.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:11:51 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
She actually got her shit together a few years later with schoolwork and ended up being a B student. I don't know if everything else improved along with that but it showed at least part of her being the way she was was out of laziness. And nobody bullied her about the lice, she just refused to believe it. It took for her best friend to actually show her one before she got treatment.
The forward roll thing cost us a good mark in gym class. We showed her millions of times and she wouldn't even try properly so we didn't get the mark we could've.
Are you certain she wasn't trying? Sometimes people just cannot do things which brings peoples marks down. For instance, I lowered my groups marks in Physical Education because I couldn't catch a ball, I tried but could not, I just kept cowering. It led people to think that I was just not trying.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:38:50 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I don't know. It just seemed very basic, I guess. Me and the other girl weren't gymnasts by any stretch and we both did it fine. One thing I'm picking up from the responses to my post is that these things as standalone incidents don't sound so bad. I guess she's someone you had to meet because everyone who knew her felt the same way about her. She was nice enough, just thick.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:51:58 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
She can't do a roll. Just because you can doesn't mean she can too. I can understand most of your issues with her, but for the last one, you're just a dick.
This isn't dumb, this is the product of a shitty upbringing. As their sibling you have a responsibility for your brothers / sisters. I hope you can find the balls to help them out of this situation.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 00:42:00 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Another one who missed the "I TRIED HELPING HER LEARN TO READ". They live two states over and only visit for a weekend every month or so. No chance to really teach them anything and they've made it very clear they don't want to learn.
Those people are going to have shitty lives and an overall shitty existence. Most people know someone like that. I cant help but feel sorry for them, especially if they couldn't even take care of their own hygiene. It's sad. They are hostile because of bad parenting/home life.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 01:15:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, it is sad. It gets frustrating when they sass you for being concerned, though. But I get it.
That first girl sounds more ignorant than stupid. Maybe her parents were against any sex ed that wasn't abstinence, at least she asked. And maybe they weren't having sex anyway? You can't call someone stupid for not being able to pronounce a word. I couldn't say cinnamon for a long time. I knew I was saying it wrong. And the roll thing sound like a coordination issue, not intelligence. Can't comment on the lice though.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 00:46:05 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We have sex ed at school in Australia. I should've specified that every single thing that came out of her mouth was dumb or incorrect somehow. Things like mispronouncing just added to it. If it was just one aspect of an otherwise intelligent person, I probably wouldn't notice. But it was a chore just to be around her because of how much she didn't know.
Um it sounds like your stepsiblings might be actually retarded or brain damaged. I knew a 13 year kid who couldn't tell time because he was autistic. it sounds like the people you're listing aren't normal by any standards.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 13:36:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:58:25 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had this film class with pop quizzes to test if we had done the readings. But on every test there was always at least one question that was a giveaway. On this one particular quiz, we had to name one historical event that happen in the 60s OR 70s. That wasn't exactly the question, but essentially that's what the teacher was asking for.
After we all finished, the prof would go through the quiz, reading off the questions to see how we did. No one had to say anything, she didn't read people's answers or anything it was totally voluntary. Anyways, we get to this question and this woman puts up her hand and says.
"I put world war 1 is that right?"
The first fucking world war. 1914. She had a twenty year fucking gap and she was off by a goddamn mile. I couldn't believe it. The professor, was stunned and after what seemed like an eternity just kinda whispered "...no"
I just wanted to get up and drop out of University right then and there.
I have a friend's sister who thought one of my friends looks like a rhino so she told him: "Hey, you look like a rhino!" The guy, baffled, wanting to clarify what he heard hence he asked: "What? A rhino?" The girl responded: "Yeah! Like a rhinosaur!"
I also heard she mistakenly added "jr" onto her name when she applied for college classes because she thought it meant her grade level...
When I was younger, I was with my mother in a thrift store.
My mother payed me a couple dollars a week for watering all her flowers and plants every day.
I found a PC mech game, the specs worked for my PC, and it was only a dollar. I had no PC games for my PC, and was super excited at this deal. I told her I wanted to buy it.
She looks on the back, and there is a quote that says "Eye popping graphics!" She freaked out and told me she wouldn't buy it because of the description. She was afraid that it meant that it could actually damage your eyes.
I, probably 12 or 13 at the time, tried to explain what box quotes are and why they say stuff like that, but she refused to believe me and wouldn't buy it for me, even though it was my own money.
I was working at a Wendys a year ago. Went to break, was smoking a cigarette in my jeep while listening to NPR on the radio. (I'm not a fan of NPR, I just like to listen to people talk when I'm relaxing, and there is no other talk station in my town)
Co-worker, some vapid bimbo, walked past my jeep, stopped, came up to my window and was like "Is that a cop radio? (she meant like a CB radio). "No, it's NPR, it's a talk show." I explained.
"What?! Like, why would you listening to people just talking? That's stu-pid!"
I didn't bother explaining.
There was also a kid on my street, who was known for being a freak. I could tell you the nasty stuff he got up to, but this is about the stupid.
He stuck a T-handle Ripcord up his ass and tried to rip his own butt like a ripcord car.
Late to the party, but I was friend with twins in high school. One of them just graduated nursing school to be a physical therapist and she's doing great. Her sister however, got the looks. Not the brains.
• In the 10th grade, she asked the teacher how to spell CPR. Legitimately asked.
• She set herself on fire twice, once in science class leaning over a Bunsen burner trying to light it, the other time flirting with a boy at winter formal and she leaned too close to a candle, igniting her hair. She didn't even notice until people around her panicked, then she only cared about if her hair still looked okay.
• I'm Mexican, and we had Spanish class together. We were allowed to bring chips and salsa to class every Friday. One of these days, I'm sitting at my desk chilling out with my food when she comes up to me and asks what I'm doing. "Oh not much, just eating the food of my people." She thinks way too hard for a minute then replies, " Oh, Indian?"
Soo many instances. She was so funny without even knowing it though.
Vomix · 9 points · Posted at 12:25:40 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
My high-shool biology teacher used to have a joke that he told about how since "mammary glands are modified sweat glands, you could say that drinking a glass of milk is almost like drinking a big glass of sweat." In one telling of this joke, one of the girls in my class, clearly disgusted, responded with "Ewww...gross! Is orange juice the same way?"
This same girl, I later discovered, was under the impression that getting milk from a cow involved having to kill the cow.
Quilled · 25 points · Posted at 09:21:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl i knew asked me this: if there are astronauts on the moon. And the moon becomes a half-moon. Do they have to run over to the light side so they don't fall off?
First time I've been stunned by stupidity. Took me maybe 10 minutes to explain to her how the suns casts fucking shades.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 11:31:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ex girlfriend was beyond dumb:
"We can't have sex on the beach because if I get sand in my pussy I'll get kidney stones"
dmenc · 8 points · Posted at 19:59:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my English class. "9/11 was when two planes crashed into the Eiffel Tower, which is in New York, right?" She was dead serious
There was this guy in 9th grade who spent nearly three hours trying to understand the difference between longitude and latitude. It took three teachers to try and make him understand, obviously annoyed, but he kept coming back at them saying "But doesn't--" or "But the book said--"
I had a senior in my freshman physics class. He was taking the class for the 4th time and still couldn't pass it. Pretty sure he couldn't even read. How do people like this keep getting promoted up to the next grade? Oh yeah, his dad was a cop and on the school board. Sad, really. No one should get a HS diploma if they can't even read it. It's not doing them any favors.
Worked with a guy who complained about a specific indicator on a piece of equipment in a lab. There were tick marks for every increment and every 5th tic mark was labelled - you know, like a speedometer. He complained that there was a label for 10 and a label for 15, so "how am I supposed to know when it's at 12?". I have no idea how he got an engineering degree. He stormed out of the lab but not after demanding a replacement "that works" and "has numbers on it" (digital). He must have a difficult time driving.
While a classmate was giving a presentation on a yellow posterboard in high school, a guy raised his hand and very seriously asked how long it took to color the entire posterboard yellow. He pooped his pants not once, but twice at football practice. And at the pinnacle of stupid things, he was arrested for growing weed in a public park.
I worked with a sweet young lady who confessed that it wasn't until after college that she realized that gasoline wasn't 87, 89, or 93 cents per gallon.
And yes, it was because she was finally paying for it herself instead of using "daddy's" credit card.
It was a confession on her part (this was 2008 btw), so to make her feel better I told her that were she my age she would have been correct...even if that was the octane rating.
I remember when there was just one gas station left in town that was selling it's low-grade for $0.99 per gallon. It was their gimmick, and they kept it going until 1992. (or maybe 1993) As a broke college graduate I loved them. I would plan out my "miles left" to ensure I had enough to make it there before running out.
A moron in my English class asked, "Was William Shakespeare real?" Upon finding out he was, she asked, "Is he still alive?"
[deleted] · 194 points · Posted at 00:48:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
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sadzora · 50 points · Posted at 10:30:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For shakespeare we have extensive records on who his family was, where he was born, we have official papers that he signed like contracts, we have the grave of the good man and his actual body.
William Shakespeare was very much real and the only doubters are a small fringe group. Kind alike how ancient alien specialists keep on challenging egyptologists but no-one really takes them serious.
FUZxxl · 10 points · Posted at 11:55:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry. It might be that my impression on this topic was wrong.
There are records with his name spelled differently and in different hand writing, but even that that can easily be explained (like maybe he isn't the only one who ever wrote his name) . However that is enough to get conspiracies going.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 12:38:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People misspell my name all the time...I wonder if in a few hundreds years there will be a conspiracy if I was real or not.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:56:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank you. And a very good analogy.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:04:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Might you link to some of this info? I have been falsely lead to believe that it was either a pen name or that it was a group of people. Now I feel stupid.
Good Man? The guy abandoned his family because he was tired of being tied down. He was obviously one of the greatest writers of all time, but a good man he was not.
Also have to admit I don't think comparing a known individual to ancient alien specialists is a great comparison to validate your point, although it is valid (the shakespeare part)
I'm pretty sure there were more than 200 years between the lives of two, so I doubt that he'd be a possible candidate for Shakespeare, but (and I could be very wrong here too) I think he might be a potential suspect in a different case of an author going by a pseudonym
HiG33k · 3 points · Posted at 07:11:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lord Byron was of the romantic period, some ~200 years after Shakespeare's period.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 07:37:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:25:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shakespeare didn't show 'much knowledge about far away lands'; his European plays took after innumerable contemporary English dramatic descriptions of "corrupt Catholic city states", or were based on ur-plays already set in particular locations (like the Danish-set ur-Hamlets that go all the way back to Saxo Grammaticus). I mean, have you actually read any other Early Modern English drama?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 18:34:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:25:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I am perfectly happy. Your post seemed sneering and obnoxious, and I just wanted to take you down a peg for laughing at academics when you clearly have no domain knowledge whatsoever. That's all.
Incidentally, the whole "aww you mad" reply gambit is a bit out of date by a good two years or so. You should try something new and wittier. Come to think of it, you might actually get some ideas from reading more Shakespeare.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:52:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:57:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or much else, it would seem.
[deleted] · -7 points · Posted at 03:41:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are few descriptions of him, but I remember one journalist (or whatever) described him as very tan and had big lips. I really want to believe they hid the darkie from the whities.
I met a lot of smart people in University but I'd have to say the dumbest people I've ever met in my life were also in University. Tons of them. They can memorize what's in a book but couldn't hold a conversation about anything.
Here we go. This is where I finally agree with someone on what "dumb" is. Some people just don't know information, doesn't mean they're dumb. But people that go around memorizing but are incapable of understanding their respective fields, I think they're dumb.
If itwas upstate thenshe has no excuse, but I can understand some ignorance if she lived in the city.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 13:53:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah it's a shame. I kind of live in the country and I almost feel a pain in my chest when some freaks out if the see a deer or a rabbit. I went to NY once and someone absolutely refused to believe that it is a common occurrence to have 5-8 deer in my yard in the evening when they are grazing.
this is a good point. I remember my first day in Physics in high school my teacher had to take time out of the lesson to explain to the german exchange student in our class what "slope" meant when referring to graphs.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 18:04:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've done stupid stuff like this, but it's because I often mishear things and have trouble with accents or when there's ambiant noise.
"A bug harz."
"What's a bug harz?"
"It's a larger than normal harz."
"Is a harz a thing?"
"How are you this old and don't know what a harz is?"
"Harziz?"
"Cowboys ride 'em."
"Oh, a big horse."
When you're learning a new language that's one of the first things you learn: pets. dog, cat, rabbit, parakeet and other animals people usually have at home.
A girl in my "honors" world history told us that Canada was a state and Russia was below us and Mexico was above us. We showed her a world map and she said it was a misprint.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A PhD researcher who lived with me for a while asked, during the finale of "Jaws":
"Wait - so was that the shark that was killing everyone earlier?"
No. No, that was a practice shark which sunk the boat and got blown up. The next hour of the film is dedicated towards the hunt for the REAL shark.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 01:06:00 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My dumbass friend/weed guy. I mention something about driving to Alaska (we're in Texas) and he's confused because Alaska is surrounded by water. That fucking moron thought that Alaska was as commonly depicted on US maps--floating out in the Pacific. He didn't finish high school, but I guess he knows enough to be a successful drug dealer.
"Satan personally put dinosaur fossils on the earth to support evolution and drive smart people away from the church" yeah that was said to me. No joke.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 20:35:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are probably others that are dumber, but I met the world's dumbest dentist recently. I went in for major pain in my back right bottom molar, and the only guy who could see me on such short notice was this genius (I wonder why he was available...)
He looked in my mouth, diagnosed me with an ear infection, and sent me home with a bottle of antibiotics. I got in with another dentist a few days later who said it was an obvious gum infection, which he lanced and fixed in a few minutes. Damned red pepper flakes buried themselves in my gums.
I have no idea how the first dentist even made it through dental school.
Because of how close in proximity your molars are to your ears, it is actually possible that an ear infection would cause your molars to hurt. That dentist wasn't exactly stupid, he probably just didn't spend enough time assessing the situation before coming to a conclusion.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:10:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still, I laughed at the composition of that sentence.
If it was a new infection, it might not have been that obvious and would have had more time to become apparent by the time you saw the second guy. When you get a patient with severe molar pain and no clear cause, it's often an ear or sinus infection because of how the nerves communicate. What did you want the guy to do? Stab blindly? Wouldn't you rather the guy be 100% positive before cutting into your face?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:10 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lower jaw hurts, ear causing pain - but not in closer-to-ear, upper jaw?
It is actually a thing to have tooth pain due to sinus/ear problems. The sinus/ear problems can irritate the nerves so that something that wouldn't otherwise bother you in your teeth would start to cause pain or amplify an existing problem.
Source: I've run into this problem myself, a few times.
Perhaps the infection simply wasn't as prominently displayed for the 1st dentist compared to the 2nd.
1) Ex-girlfriend. Freshman year in college, didn't know who Moses was. Even came from a pretty Jewish area (West Bloomfield, MI). I had no words.
2) Senior year AP European History. Talking about Sigmund Freud. Rich girl next to me raises her hand and attempts to correct the teacher: "Ummm Dr. V, don't you mean 'Siegfried & Roy'?"
It's not that I don't know that Moses is some guy from the Bible, it's just that i don't know his part of the story. I guess most of you people - like me - don't know every character in the Koran.
Depends on your family. If you are in a non-religous family, go to a public institution, and don't really give a damn about religion, it's totally understandable that you won't know dick about Bible lore.
It is common knowledge in the sense that most people know it, but it is easy to miss without primary religious influences like school, church, family, whatever.
If she was Jewish from a Jewish family and didn't know Moses, then you'd have an argument.
my family is not religious, neither was my schooling, but it is pretty much unavoidable, with references everywhere in society (family guy makes jokes about moses for example)
It is not universally unavoidable, you just didn't avoid it. Not everybody watches tons of television or Family Guy.
[deleted] · -3 points · Posted at 16:14:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Like you? Youre an athiest right. Proceed to be edgy.
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 12:44:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's silly to ignore multiple entire cultures and dismiss them as irrelevant just because you have some hang up about what other people believe lives in the sky.
Maybe because not everyone is raised as a Christian? Doesn't make them dumb if they haven't heard of some made up story.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:46:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Moses is a figure in more than one major religion? You should have a basic idea of what various religions are about anyway. Did you people not learn about all the world's major religions at some point in your schooling?
Not that I remember. Our education in Canada is very secular. There is a bit about which major groups follow which religion. Other than that I didn't learn anything about Moses or other religious figures till much later. Regardless of that I wouldn't call this stupid. More ignorant.
No...? Why would they be teaching about religion in a school?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:22:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because religion is a major part of a huge number of different cultures? We were taught about things from the five pillars of Islam to the caste system in Hinduism by the end of middle school.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 02:36:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a guy in my Navy boot camp division that had a few missing brain cells, to say the least (don't even know how he made it in). When we had to do the swimming qualification they told us if you don't know how to swim, go to the shallow end and they will teach you. No big deal.
The rest of us had to jump off an 8 foot platform into the pool. This guy gets on the platform, jumps, and sinks right to the bottom. One of the rescue swimmers had to get him and pull him out of the water. He got yelled at by about 15 different people after that little stunt.
TL:DR Idiot in boot camp can't swim, but still jumps in the deep end of the pool anyway.
When I worked for a bank, I got a phone call from a very angry guy whose debit card was stolen. The fraud department told him he would be responsible for all of the charges (about two grand worth) because he "provided" the PIN. By provided, I mean he had written it on the back of his card in Roman numerals. We went back and forth for 20 minutes over how he'd fucked himself by doing that. He kept saying that we were scamming him because Roman numerals "shouldn't count."
I used to work for a bank too. Got a kid on my line wanted to borrow 10k, urgently but only for 24 hours. Evetually as I was processing his application he told me it was so he could claim his inheritance. At this point the alarm bells were really ringing so I ask him more. Turns out this kid was the nephew of a Nigerian Prince... And his inheritance of gold and diamonds was being driven round London in a secure truck until he could pay the courier fee. I tried every angle. Asked him if he knew he has Nigerian relatives prior to that day, he says no... Eventually I advise him the loan has been declined and that he's being scammed. Kid gets angry. Calls me a liar and hangs up. So for the next day or so I watch him take pay day loan after pay day loan. And then transfer it all out. I tried to stop his account to prevent it happening. And couldn't. 7 days later. Kid rings complaining he's been scammed.
His case got declined as they saw my warnings. Ha ha
Girl I had a lot of classes with in high school dropped a bunch of gems, the best was this:
The Sun is about 26 miles from the Earth.
Physics teacher could not hold back his laughter. She would say shit like this in Accelerated and AP classes all the time. One would think she was trolling but you could tell she wasn't by how pissed she would be when people laughed at her.
Also helped she was usually the first to make fun of and judge someone for stuff beyond their control (being poor/different - I had been a target a few times). Helped me feel OK laughing at her at least.
Chick from high school jumped off a diving board into a swimming pool she must have thought was full of snow. Shattered both her knees after hitting the ice underneath the almost foot of snow on top. What did she think was gonna happen?
When talking about the polar ice caps melting and global warming in freshmen biology a girl asked "if the polar bears are losing their habitats why don't we just move them to a colder planet?" at another random point she said "Why dies it rain sideways when you are in a car but straight down when you aren't in a car?"
This girl in my 9th grade history class thought whatever way your facing was North. So everyone had their own North. It is OK though. She was quite attractive
In Jr. High health class my teacher asked us to name a salty food. A girl shouts out " COFFEE!" This wasn't the first time she said something like this. Our teacher was simply dumbstruck. Teacher even asked her "I'm not trying to be mean, but I have to know. Are you just acting stupid or are you really that clueless?" Girl starts laughing and before she can answer the whole class says in unison, "She's really that clueless".
We were studying romeo and juilet in high school, the teacher was discussing the prologue and the deaths of the main characters, to which a girl shouted "spoilers!!! Why would you ruin the ending?!"
I really don't see the problem with this, or I wouldn't call her stupid if it was an isolated event. Sure it is a widely popular story that pop culture constantly recreates but I'm sure she's at least heard of it before, even if her prior knowledge to the text was only "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" Most people probably know the story, but a lot of folks slip through the cracks too.
I HATED this whenever I read Shakespeare in a class. We would read up until a certain point and discuss from there? No, fuck that shit. It's a play that's supposed to be evaluated as a whole. And seriously, this shit is 400 YEARS OLD. And you're going to read it tomorrow night. You should not be upset when I try to bring a "future" point into discussion.
Honestly, before I had read it, I didn't know that they dies at the end. All I knew was that it was a love story and that they couldn't be together for some reason. No one really talks about them dying. I'm assuming this was freshman year too, cause that's when a lot of people read it. Most 14 year olds aren't up to date on Shakespeare.
That's not so bad. I couldn't blow my own nose until I was 16. I have unusually poor control over my body. It took me until I was 12 to successfully blow up a balloon. And I finally mastered swallowing pills at 28.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 17:50:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mother used to think I was an idiot because I couldn't blow up balloons; it turns out my lungs are just weak as fuck. It took me until my teens to actually be strong enough to force the air in.
Of course, I have an asthmatic, smoker co-worker who blows up the balloons for every office party and just loves to brag about how strong his lungs are, because life isn't fucking fair.
Ezmar · 5 points · Posted at 01:49:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't tend to "Properly" blow my nose often, because I have some pretty large blood vessels in my nose that are close to the surface of the skin, and if I blow too hard and my nose starts to bleed, it fucking BLEEDS. It's only recently that I've realized that when people get nosebleeds, it's not always a thick dribble of blood steadily coming out of the nose. I've never had my nose just bleed a little.
I haven't tried blowing up a balloon since 4th grade when i failed at that, i also don't know how to whistle. Maybe there's something wrong with my mouth/lips.
Maybe, but he was also literally unable to tell the time from a clock and when quizzed, amongst myriad other idiotic misunderstandings, thought that Wales was next to Russia, so it is pretty much that bad.
A lot of these I think are made up, exaggerated, or overlooking some pretty obvious things. I'm seeing a lot of sexism here. You have to remember a lot of girls are told that acting stupid in front of guys is supposed to be cute. Combine that with the "airhead bimbo" stereotype, that stupid girls are cringeworthy but stupid guys are funny, and you've got the perfect mix of why feminism is still relevant.
I'm not seeing lots of sexism, more people recognizing that society treats stupid (pretty) girls and men differently when it comes to intelligence. That's not sexism, that's awareness of sexism. It isn't the perfect mix of why feminism is still relevant. There are far better cases than whatever persecution you may see here in this thread. Honestly, this has been pretty fucking tame, and even if there are a few off color comments, the overwhelming majority of them are not sexist.
You bring up another great point. Pretty girls who say smart things are just parroting and don't know what they're talking about and should get back in the kitchen. Ugly girls who say smart things are ignored or actually attacked (see: Michelle Obama, Elena Kagan). pretty girls who say dumb things are expected and sought out, so we remember them more. It's the same reason why we don't remember smart reasonable republicans and only remember the crazy, homophobic, historically ignorant hypocrites. I'm more annoyed with how the top comment is actually a legit cosmological question and everyone is saying that the hypothetical girl talking was an idiot for asking.
Michelle Obama is not ugly. Also, people in general who say smart things get ignored or attacked, because often they conflict with dumb ideologies or the agendas of powerful people. It is totally a minority view that intelligent women belong in the kitchen.
"What is the speed of dark?" in a high school science classroom is probably a question deserving of ridicule, unless you have low standards. I don't see what her gender really has to do with it. If a guy said that, he'd be just as stupid. In a philosophy class... well, alright. Fair enough. In science, though, at a high school level, it is an extraordinary concept to not understand.
Pereqt · 1 points · Posted at 11:18:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Which proves nothing. It's some dude named Chris with a blog. Whoopdy doo. You could've just said that you think it is acceptable ignorance at the high school level and we'd be in the same place.
High schoolers should have a firm grasp of this concept and I think it is inexcusable that even a fifth grader moving on from elementary could fail to understand that darkness is simply a lack of light.
It either highlights a failure of the school system or that an individual is properly stupid, not understanding that concept. Assuming the one who made the observation is average (stupidity is relative), I'd say the person was probably just a numbskull.
"Dark" is not a well-defined physical concept, so this thread cannot possibly be anything but philosophical. I am thus moving it.
You sorta just cited a shit post. Did you even read it? Dude wanted to use planet sounds to create a black hole for time travel. Fuckin' wacky, went nowhere, and had no real bearing on physics. So that OP was a numbskull, yeah. Just because somebody is a physics student totally does not mean they know jack shit. By nature, it means they don't know jack shit and must learn.
Shit i can't find where I saw it. I think it was in reference to dark matter. Oh well, I guess I was wrong about that. But I still maintain that it's not a stupid question because it's a great launch pad to explain how photons are their own antiparticle, why photons don't have mass, etc. it's not that unreasonable to think that if light is a particle and all matter has antimatter then there should be a speed of dark, especially in a high school introductory physics class. It's no more stupid than asking if electrons have a negative charge how can there be positively charged ions, or if the subatomic particles that make up neutrons have a charge if neutrons have no charge.
A stupid question implies one should know better ("Are Jews real?"). Asking for clarification on a concept by positing a hypothetical shows critical thinking, which asking "if light is made up of particles and all particles have antiparticles, then shouldn't there be a speed of dark?" demonstrates. She might not be eloquent, but it's not like no scientist ever jumped to a conclusion that seemed logically sound (e.g. That fetal development represents stages of evolution, pangolins are related to anteaters because they look similar) only to be wrong.
Oh, dark matter has nothing to do with shadows. It's called dark matter because we can't see it, but we can observe its gravitational effect. Basically, the orbital velocities of galaxies didn't match up with their mass, but we could see why. The solution? There exists subatomic particles that do not absorb or emit light or electromagnetic radiation. Anyways, it's a strong hypothesis but neither here nor there.
Eh, it's not really a great launch pad, since the question is so easily resolved with the explanation "Darkness is nothing more than the absence of light." It doesn't really lead to anything past that. I'm fairly confident that nobody else really gained much knowledge from that, which makes mostly a jarring interruption. The question is no more complex than why there can be open air on one side of a dam and water on the other. Actually, it's probably less complex than that. It's just that simple. I'm guessing they were already talking about light because the person referenced the speed of light. I'm also guessing that question was well below the knowledge level of the classroom. By high school, one definitely should understand the concept of shadows. I don't see how one could have any grasp whatsoever of antiparticles without first understanding the basic concept of shadows. I don't think one could have a solid grasp particles or photons without understanding that.
Asking what the speed of dark is is definitely more stupid than those questions. No one intuitively understands atomic structure, but shadows... are pretty straightforward, especially once you know what a photon is. It demonstrates profound ignorance. It is just not acceptable for a high school level classroom. One SHOULD know better. And I don't know why you're trying to excuse this stupidity by constructing some narrative where she is actually exploring the deep nature of antiparticles or whatever. There is no chance one will be able to form any sort of reasonable thought regarding antiparticles (and I might add, that sort of quantum physics tend to be left out of high school curricula) without having the presence of mind to understand how a shadow works.
PUTTY1 · 19 points · Posted at 04:27:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Me: hey Kip, how many points is a 3-point shot worth in basketball?
Kip: Five! (Holds out his hand with all five fingers up)
This actually happened in 8th grade. He has no mental disabilities. I have never laughed so hard in my life
Nichole. Goddamn Nichole. She was my brother's girlfriend for a time. Oh god, I didn't think someone could be so stupid. Example:
She wanted to come over to my house. Said she didn't have the gas. I told her I always pee in my gas tank til I can afford some gas. She goes to the garage and gets a funnel and then calls me back when she can't angle herself right to get the piss into it.
When I was in the 9th grade, A girl asked which continent was Africa and which was South America. Two years later, she would go on to get her credit card stuck in a computer so she could buy stuff off amazon.
My cousin's husband is really dumb. One Christmas, my uncle gave him a nice watch, which didn't have numbers on it. A few days later, he brought it back and said he couldn't use it because "There's one hand pointing this way, one hand pointing that way, and one that just keeps going around and around." My mother said "That's the second hand." and he replied "Yeah, but there are two others!"
I knew this girl that thought Alaska and Hawaii were close to each other.because, on a map, they are in boxes relatively close to each other. She thought Europe was a country. Im petty sure she thought Florida was a country too, but I don't remember
I had to explain to my cousin that the Sun is a star, like all the stars you see at night, and that you cannot see the sun at night.
She told me, tried to convince me, that you can see the sun at night. Although nighttime is when the sun does not shine on that side of the earth. She told me that her teacher told her you can see the sun at night. Fuck that.
There's this guy in my earth science class... Two of the questions he's asked:
"If the dinosaurs were on earth for so much longer than humans why didn't they make a space program or something to blow up the meteor that killed them?"
(During a talk about why academic journals are the best source for writing papers)
Idiot: "But what if the person who wrote the journal is wrong?"
Teacher: "well they have taken their information from other respected individuals in their field"
Idiot: "well what if they are also wrong?"
Teacher: "well they did the research and field work to come up with their information"
Idiot: "but what if they didn't do the proper procedures that you're teaching us?"
At that point the professor just moved on...
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 18:07:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those are actually good questions.
Let's not forget that anti-vax started with a primary source in published journal... Someone said, "Hm... what if they're wrong, did they do a scientific study? No? Well this is BS!"
Autocorrected so fuck it, and obviously she had heard about it so she was likely 1. Joking and you just didnt catch it 2. She was being facetious, meaning she was intentionally making a reference to something she knew didnt exist anymore.
Not dumbest person, but definitely not his brightest moment:
A friend of mine, who is actually finishing his PhD in civil engineering thought that emperor penguins were as tall as human beings cause ... you know ... 'there is no frame of reference in those pictures on antarctica'.
The average height for an emporer penguin is 110-130cm. That comes out to be about 4 feet 3 inches. That is about the average height of a fourth grader. So in fact emporer penguins are as big as humans. Who's the dumb dumb now?
I have to give it to him, I never thought of it that way. I know the "cute" penguins are like knee-high because I have seen them in a zoo, but an emperor penguin? That sounds like one large penguin.
An anti-vaxxer. She also told me to use peppermint oil on an itchy spot on my arm. While the itchiness was relieved, it turned out to be psoriasis. She also said that even though we get lots of medicine from plants, they shouldn't need to be synthesized and just eaten right from the plant instead. So instead of taking digitalis, she wants you to go munch on tons of foxglove flowers instead. She was a good masseuse but infuriating. She also said that she never vaccinated her kids and they were never sick. This was in California.
Vaie · 7 points · Posted at 12:25:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I expect there are a lot of her kind in California.
To be fair, some herbs actually are better for people allergic to ingredients in the synthesized version, and in general are cheaper to get ahold of (ex: ginger); it's just that generally you would need to eat extraordinary amounts of said plants to get any benefit.
In relation to the rest of your description, I seriously doubt this was her case...
Opalm · 9 points · Posted at 09:29:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from high school biology, "How do ugly people exist?", the teacher baffled says nothing. She continues with her foolproof logic, "Since they are ugly they can't find anybody that wants to have sex with them, so how are there ugly people if they can't reproduce and make more ugly babies."
I used to work in an electronics store, and ran the TV department. An old guy called over the phone one day, asked if he could return a 73" projection TV to me (then around $3,000). I asked if he had a receipt. He said yes. I ask when he purchased the TV (1 month return policy). He said 6 months ago, from a competitor's store, that had since gone out of business. I said no, but inquired why he wanted to return it now. He said, and I quote, "I'm blind. I ain't got no damn use for a TV." Facepalm Dot Jpg
[deleted] · 25 points · Posted at 02:14:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommates boyfriend. He said and did an array of stupid things... but one thing he said that I'll never forget was "my ex wife had post-mortem depression" .I was like. . How could she be depressed if she was dead? He didn't get it.
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 06:55:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:49:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, he meant post partum. Maybe it wasn't THAT bad... but it's just one thing he said that I still laugh about. Let's put it this way. .. I caught him eating cigarette butts out of the ash tray like it was a bowl of cereal. Him mixing up "mortem" and "partum" was definitely not the dumbest thing he's ever done.
A slip of the tongue does not constitute the dumbest person you know, and if it does, its probably one of those cases where you are the dumbest person to most of the people you know.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:42:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No no.. haha. This was no "slip of the tongue" he probably legitimately had an iq of about 70. This was just one thing I specifically remember him saying.
Hey storytime! So one day after a game of basketball on the courts outside of my dorm, me and two of my friends decided to stop through our local Circle K. After getting our gatorades and standing at the checkout line, my friend, we'll call him Jim, decides to look at the gum. Sarcastically, he tries to joke "Hey guys, look at this gum! It says thirst quenching, I should totally get it right?!". He proceeds to buy this shitty gum and give all of us a piece. After about a minute of driving, my other friend and I decide to spit the gum out. Apparently Jim did not noticed this action because he continues to joke about the gum and this is where the conversation went...
"Guys.. I don't know about this gum harhar I don't think it's working harhar"
I look at him... "Dude, you're not supposed to be chewing the gum. It's like water. Think about it, you don't chew water."
My other friend and I show him our empty mouths to confirm we are both 1) not chewing the gum and 2) to confirm our thirst has indeed, been quenched. After this confirmation he goes ahead and swallows the gum.... More seconds go by...
"Dude, I don't know... Maybe I didn't do it right... Are you supposed to chew it at all?"
I look at him with a blank face, "You chewed it up first? You idiot haha you have to just put it in your mouth and swallow it dry for it to work"
He quickly takes another piece of dry gum and tries to swallow it whole. It's a miracle I'm still alive after watching him try to gulp that down.
tl;dr: my friend swallowed two pieces of gum to try and quench his thirst
[deleted] · 41 points · Posted at 23:36:11 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I work at a touristy place that's popular with celebrities... so probably a three way tie between Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, and a particularly stupid girl from my grad class
EDIT: We rented stuff at my work place and my bosses honestly suspected that Zac Efron stole our product because we had to call him to get it back after over a month. He was also pretty cocky. Selena was nice but just came across as a bit of an airhead (taking selfies and stuf)...
Any girl between the ages of 12 and 25 is likely to take selfies when they're at a touristy place, especially one with a social media presence that helps fuel their career.
I personally don't think that alone would make her an airhead.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 16:21:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Selena Gomez should shove the camera in her ass in a public place. That might help her career more.
[deleted] · 103 points · Posted at 00:02:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I met this girl in college, when I first met here she had a big dumb smile on her face. I kind of thought she was being friendly but I had the feeling of stupidity on her. I didnt hang out with her, she just happened to be in the circle of people I ate with.
Anyway one day at lunch she comes with yogurt and shes like I got blueberries and craisins in it.
Nope. She put in black olives and kidney beans. Yeah she thought black olives were blueberries and she though kidney beans were fucking craisins.
I laugh so hard at the person watching her put that shit into her yogurt, their face mustve been hilarious.
She didnt like the yogurt that much.
EDIT: For clarification: Craisins are a real thing, they are dried cranberries, google it /u/HorseIsKing. I wasnt watching her gather her food, she just came back to the table with it. She wasnt colorblind. She was just extremely, extremely sheltered. For example we were once talking about what music we all liked and all she said was Britney Spears (this was 2 years ago). You dont have to believe me but I swear on my life this really happened.
Nezrac · 11 points · Posted at 08:54:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you dim? Virtually nothing he said was wrong (although the story itself was lacking). Craisins are an amalgamation between the words "cranberry" and "raisin" to mean "dried cranberries". To be fair, they're pretty good when they're actual craisins and not kidney beans.
Rap15t · 3 points · Posted at 14:31:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I agree. Who thinks kidney beams are crasins when it is obviously fetta cheese
just fyi. Wouldn't take more than even 3 raw kidney beans to make someone deathly ill. Even as little as 5 to kill someone.
[deleted] · 28 points · Posted at 01:15:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A friend of mine, S, who is a stereotypical white girl (air head, blonde, frappacino blood infusions, etc;) was trying to describe the battle of Waterloo so we could tell her the name. "YOU KNOW! THE ONE WHERE AMERICA FINALLY BEAT THE FRENCH GUY!"
Another friend of mine, V, who isn't usually as dumb as S, but has her moments, made fun of me for thinking the bombing of Pearl Harbor happened in 1941. "It was 1761 you idiot!"
Bonus Edit: S once stated matter-of-factly that the reason astronauts wore such big suits was because they created gravity. If you stood on the moon without one, you'd fall of. I asked if she meant float. Nope, fall. "Right into the sun."
My ex-girlfriend didn't know astronauts were real until I told her about the Apollo missions.
I swear I think some fo these people just are compeltely disinterested in history or any kind of common facts. Sigh.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:29:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well i don't know about S and V but my ex just didn't know. She actually loved to learn but she didn't know a lot of common knowledge. I have no idea how she got to highschool without learning this stuff.
I also dated a girl that didn't know astronauts were real. She was inquisitive and was interested if someone taught her, but I usually would have to teach her information she should of learned in elementary or junior high. Makes me believe that it could be the education system's fault.
She was dumber than rocks, but was overall a great girl. I miss feeling smart for a few minutes when explaining how to do basic division.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, it's debatable that Napoleon was French - he was Corsican, born to an originally Italian family, only the year after the French gained control of the island. His birth name was changed to make it sound more French. Legally speaking, French of course; in terms of ancestry, not.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I know had no idea what a uterus was. Also the same person who was legitimately convinced that people only had to have sex once, and visibly shivered upon learning otherwise. She's 19. God bless whatever man marries that girl.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:57:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
See, that man is going to either be fucked, or be blessed.
evlgns · 8 points · Posted at 07:58:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friends girlfriend asked how the car knew where it was going on cruise control, and another time she asked why it was called "afternoon" .
choofy · 31 points · Posted at 23:50:37 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
2 way tie. An ex-neighbor that made literally EVERYTHING suck just by being around. We found out that she was coming to a party, so all the men took their clothes off to get rid of her, and she stuck around for an hour until her friend got uncomfortable enough to make her take her home. I still tell people she's the Bloody Mary of stupid - say derp in a mirror 3 times and she appears.
2 The epitome of gullibility - a short list of stuff our friends told her that she believed: It's super dangerous to light a cigarette over a still-fizzing diet coke (because nutra-sweet is highly flammable), the air in your tires needs to be changed every 3 months or they will go flat (she SCREAMED at the Firestone employees for not knowing what "seasonal air" was), the chick from the original Total Recall ACTUALLY had 3 boobs (which is how she got the part)... She once got in a fight with her married boyfriend and peeled out of the parking lot - we described it as "like a dingbat out of hell".
Yeah! LOL I answered a phone call and left in the middle of that comment, when I came back and finished wondered why the others' font was so tiny. Guess I now qualify for this list ... Yet I am no woman. Or blond. Or maybe I am!
she asked if unicorns were real. in biology class.
we were talking about genes n stuff, horses came up and soon after, rhinos. so she asked. she got a lot of "are you actually retarded" looks from people around her.
i dont really know, she went to another school this year. she also brought up creation a few times during discussions about evolution, which pissed me off a bit.
It's right above California, understandable to not know if you don't live anywhere near those two states but you should at least know which state is below your own..
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:34:55 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh yeah, not knowing California is effing ridiculous.
There was a guy in my grade 11 philosophy class, he was on his victory lap and taking a grade 11 class so that says something right away. He managed to prove that there are stupid questions. I can't remember many anecdotes except that most the way through discussion of euthanasia he revealed he had thought it was 'youth in asia'.
I don't think I've ever felt smarter than in that class.
In 7th grade, one of my classmates was supposed to do a project on euthanasia. She showed up on presentation day with a paper and poster board about the youth in Asia.
Woman in front of us at Cleveland Indians game:
"Where's the clock? How do you know when the games over"
Her SO turns around and high fives us as the game goes into extra innings and I said something like "I love free baseball" to which she replied...
"Neat! How do they make sure everyone gets a free baseball?"
Back in High School (~ 2003) .. history class, we were discussing the largest states for economic development..
Teacher asked: What's the largest state in our country with the most economic development activity in the past 5 years?
Typical Jock not paying attention answered: "Dude that's so China!"
.. many laughs followed.. and he just had this state of shock (and embarrassment) on his face..
The answer was California I believe for the record.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 08:46:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My current roommate. She doesn't have the guys she has sex with use condoms because "she has an IUD" and "doesn't need them"
Shit you not, today she came back and opened my door, said "guess what!? I might have herpes!" with a raise-the-roof gesture. Then when she called her boyfriend she said "I KNOW I can't have it but I don't know yet because the results aren't back". I told her she doesn't know she doesn't have it and not to say she knows because "she doesn't think so" but got sass.
She's so fucking dumb. Guess that's what you get when you have sex with your ex (who is known to cheat..) while he's dating your ex-best friend and then instantly start dating and fucking some guy you hardly know.
i overheard the two most stupid people i've ever seen in a long time at the movie theater.
1.) during the LEGO movie this loud guy behind us was laughing HYSTERICALLY the entire time. then after the movie, we overheard him say "i loved the ghost part because he was on strings!!!! you could see the strings!"
2.) during the new muppet movie, there's a monster's inc. short that ends with parents coming into their kids bedroom asking to sleep there because there's monsters in their closet. the loud annoying guy behind us said "see it's funny because it's a reversal!"
it was the most horrifically embarrassing thing i've witnessed in a long time.
tl;dr: loud stupid guys in the theater explain the punchlines of jokes to feel smart.
My mother. Among many other stupid things, she believes cake is a diet food because there are pictures of cakes on the covers of the stupid magazines she reads alongside the [insert new fad diet here] on the cover.
jcdale · 5 points · Posted at 23:04:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a crush in high school who once asked me if I would cook up hot dogs at her house for a mutual friend's birthday. I of course said yes, then asked her what kind of barbecue she had (wondering if I needed to get propane or charcoal).
She turned her head slightly to the side and looked at me in puzzlement, stating, "oh I only put ketchup on my hot dogs, not barbecue sauce."
I can kind of understand her misunderstanding, because not everyone grills hot dogs. my family has always just boiled them. I like to saute them in a little oil.
In my high school, there's two things to know. One, we were in just the right location that rich kids, ghetto kids, and redneck kids all kind of converged. Two, the class rating system was kinda fucked up - level 2/multilevel classes were the lowest levels, then went level 1, Honors, and AP.
I've always been an English person - that is, I'm better at writing and reading than sciences or maths. So keep that in mind when I say I was taking multilevel Ecology to get an easy science credit. This was also the class that literally went all over the school on Fridays and collected all the plastic bottles and cans and sorted them. For a personal grade. Not shitting you, we were literally doing the custodial work for class.
Anyway, it's an ecology class. Nature and shit. Two morons in their own right were presenting a slide show on Yosemite National park or something, I don't remember. Came to the past slide, huge fuckin grizzly bear, with the caption, "Come meet Teddy!" Obviously a joke. But this one girl. Oh my god this girl. Typical vapid rich fake blonde girl, got her Audi in the parking lot and her Coach bag on her arm, goes, "Teddy? If we go there can we actually meet him? Is he like Shamu?"
Me and the girl next to me literally look at our teacher who just shakes her head and says, "Multilevel," like it explains everything... which it does.
Most of the class was dumbstruck by that, but whatever, small potatoes compared to this one chick. Jesus fucking Christ. Redneck from the edge of town, let's call her Amanda cause that's her name. We actually had two dumbfuck redneck Amanda's in my school, same grade, but this is the brunette one. Another Ecology project, picking countries to do a profile on their ecosystems - "Can I do Louisiana?"
Teacher goes, "Sorry, not states, countries." And yeah, you know where this is going. "Yeah, Louisiana's a country, isn't it?"
Actually don't understand how someone can be so ignorant.
8th grade history class. A girl asked "So did Marco Polo, like, invent the game 'Marco Polo'?"
Of course, being the smug smart bitch I was (and always will be) I retorted with something along the lines of "No, you idiot!"
Also, same year, during my Wednesday catechism Bible Study thingaroo (I'm Lutheran, so we apparently get this shit done much earlier than Catholics do), someone brought up the Holocaust for whatever reason, and one girl who must've been only a grade below me and the handful of classmates that I had there asked, "Wait, what's the Holocaust?"
You had to read a book on it in 6th grade. You're in 7th grade and when you're in 8th grade you and your class will have to do a report AND a poster on a book about a Holocaust survivor which will be hung on the wall in the hallway for everyone to see. And the whole 8th grade is made to watch Schindler's List in the auditorium, a 3-day-sad-fest of beautiful cinematography.
Though now that I think about it, she might have come from one of the church schools, but that doesn't excuse her ignorance, at least not to me.
Roommates ex-girlfriend... This was from a conversation they had via text message over a holiday break. He was back home in Florida, but she was at home in Minnesota (where we all go to school).
Roommate: "Well it's pretty late here so I'm gonna go to bed."
Girl: "Isn't it only a couple of hours ahead?"
Roommate: "No, no, no. What are you talking about? Florida is an entire day ahead of MN."
Girl: "No it isn't."
Roommate: "Are you serious? Yeah, it is."
Girl: "How?"
Roommate: "Geez, it's pretty scientific. I don't really wanna get into it."
Three hour difference from coast to coast in the continental US. In this case is was an hour difference. Even so, neither of those are close to an entire day...!
I girl I knew in middle school and high school was in my 7th grade science class. She really was a nice person but dumb as a post. My favorite thing she did was when we were learning about sound and frequencies. Our teacher had given us tuning forks and demonstrated how to use them. She hit the tuning fork to her hand as instructed then proceeded to hold her hand up to her ear.
"I don't hear anything."
eBunni · 5 points · Posted at 19:58:45 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back when I was in 3rd grade we had a 13 year old in our class. A 13 year old. Obviously he wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box but we didn't know he was so lacking until he came to us complety confused about his grade in a science sheet. Besides not answering anything right, on the human body chart he switched all the body parts. Including the mouth and anus. As in, the mouth with the anus.
I was so shocked I couldn't laugh like the rest did.
After being pulled over for a blown headlight, my friends girlfriend tells the cop how we're all hanging out for the 4th of July.
It was in fact close to the 14th of July. After we told her that it was no longer a holiday, she then proceeded to say, in front of the cop, "Noooo, the 4th of July is like, a week long." I thought for sure that we were about to be searched for drugs.
The cop let us go though, and then we took a second crack at trying to explain to this girl, that the 4th of July, was only 24hrs long, just like every single other day. She wrap her empty little around it though..
qefbuo · 4 points · Posted at 04:49:17 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex girlfriend wouldn't eat seafood because "fish poop in the ocean", she looked at the ocean like a big pile of fish sewage.
I copied this one down especially:
"I was browsing through my favorites bar and came across a college sex video
blegh, how these people even get into college is a mystery to me
"
But I had conflicting emotions because she also said things like:
"Seeing everything in black and white makes you forget there's a whole
rainbow there too"
"you're nothing but a speck in the memory of strangers.
Only friends remember you and they remember you fondly."
Someone I knew was similar, but he thought u always had to come after q, even in the alphabet. So he'd always get stuck around q and get confused. He was 15..
Anything I can come up with doesn't top some of the commenters in this thread. Those claiming that a person is dumb for not knowing some particular fact, or for saying something that is actually correct that the redditor claims is wrong, these people are the true heroes of this thread. Learn to fact check before you condemn, folks.
I once lost my best friend in primary school, when i tried to convince him that the sun was indeed much bigger than earth. Even when i brought a book the next day he wouldn't believe me and got really mad and called me stupid. furthermore, even my teacher and the biggest nerd in my class weren't sure about it. I sighed when the discussion ended with "yeah, maybe the sun is just a little bit bigger than our earth, are you okay with that??!"
Well I remember a girl in 4th grade who couldn't tell time on a non digital clock. Same girl who wouldn't walk over someone laying on the floor because it would curse her and her family for thousands of generations.
Other then that I think about 61% of the strangers I met after that have been pretty dumb.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:26:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What? Is she a Hindu by chance? There was a rule or something similar like that. The only who gave a shit was teh people in teh Mahabharata themselves.
Seasons don't always start on the same day. For instance, spring usually begins on March 21, but sometimes it can start on the 20th or even the 19th. Seasons are a very specific alignment of the earth on its axis and the ecliptic, and solstices and equinoxes (equinii?) occur not just on specific dates, but at precise times. I.e., spring began at 12:57 p.m. on March 20 this year.
BTW, I am a college dropout.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:59:29 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
For the second one, that's fairly common, especially if you didn't see it announced on the news or something. And honestly, while seasons are TECHNICALLY determined by the positioning of the earth, in practical terms something like first frost is more helpful.
Er snap, 24 with a Master's and I have never once in my life knowingly encountered anyone telling me that seasons start on one prescribed day. I am English, but I am struggling to think of a good reason why that would necessarily change anything...
A girl in one of my classes thought earth was the only planet with gravity.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:41:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What year was that?
I'm trying to find out if she grew up to be my 1st grade religion teacher. Who also thought the sun was a planet, and couldn't explain why the moon changes shape.
True. But come on, saying other planets don't have gravity when clearly most of the planets in this solar system have gravity is kinda dumb. looks at thread title Excuse, I'm going to show myself out.
Don't you have taste buds on your penis.
Literally just happened...
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 18:07:45 on July 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy named Kevin who told me a story about how he was once wiping his butt and his finger tore through the toilet paper and went into his anus. He also stuck his dick in a vacuum cleaner hose, and liked to tell everybody he just met the story of the time he shit his pants when he was driving his truck.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 04:44:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brothers girlfriend didnt know when 9/11 happened. She also didn't know that it actually happened, she thought it was just a story.
eating breakfast with a group of friends after a night of drinking, friends one night stand looks at her plate, looks up and says "are these eggs like from chickens?" Best part was he tried to humor her like it wasn't the dumbest statement ever since he was balls deep like 3 hours prior. Priceless memory.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:32:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was just way drunker than the rest of you.
New girl at work over heard a coworker and I talking about how we loved upstate New York and how beautiful it is especially all the trees during the fall season. She interjected with this: "I didn't know there were farms and stuff in between all those big buildings."
0_o
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 05:05:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:42:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If this is at Subway, I can assure you that it is not turkey.
Worked with this girl who was hired Christmas help one year at a retail store. She couldn't tell which was considered 'carbonated' - juice or soda. I asked if Europe was a country or a continent and she said, "I've never had to think about it before." Another male co-worker couldn't spell butterfly. He wanted to be a psychologist. Somehow, I doubt that.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 06:49:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was stargazing with my stepbrother and boyfriend once and I saw a shooting star. I pointed it out to them, and when my stepbrother told me he missed it, I told him that shooting stars appear about every 12 minutes. The next minute I saw another one and pointed it out. He called me a liar because it hadn't been 12 minutes, so it was impossible that I saw one.
He also didn't understand why females use toilet paper just to urinate.
urnmur · 3 points · Posted at 07:27:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A story from a friend.
He was working at a coffee shop and he overheard a girl saying very loudly, "only poor people share."
Like.. no.. people share things all the time.
a dumb girl in my baking/pastry class told me there are absolutely no carrots in carrot cake. She said this AS WE WERE MAKING CARROT CAKE THAT DAY. She thought the grated carrots were for a soup class next door. I wish I were making this up.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:56:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A third year Business student believed that it is possible to plant sugar cane on the sun, harvesting will be done during the night. We had this discussion for a week, I don't feel bad for laughing at her.
I still have no clue how someone like her can be in her third year of uni.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 08:41:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I worked with (who is currently 21 years old) maxed out her credit card, and didn't pay it off, because she believed that a credit card balance remained the same until you just decided to pay it off. She didn't discover what APR was until she tried to get a loan for a new college she was applying to and had to have her denial explained to her by a financial advisor.
Girl in my college English class who told us that "the Mexicans are all pregnant because they don't understand a woman's cycle." She also doesn't believe in science in general and thinks Nazi Germany is a valid analogy for the American Cancer Society, because stem cell research is apparently "just like the holocaust."
Highly doubt this will be seen, but want to share.
I'm a trainer at a call center, and a few weeks ago one of my agents (we'll call him Rob) was talking to this chick in class about science in an attempt to impress her. I'm not paying much attention to the conversation, but then I hear "chemistry is just, physics. Like,chemistry is physics."
Chick is looking at Rob all starry eyed. One of the other agents looks at Rob with a holy shit did you just say that expression. Before I can think of anything professional to say, a third agent says "mothafucka, WHAAAT. "
Rob attempts to defend his intellect by responding "haha.. Wait, like, isn't it though? "
He doesn't work there anymore. I had to fire him after he no call no showed three days in a row. Turned out he was in jail after having been arrested for playing with a laser pointer in a public library whilst on shrooms.
I'm friends with a girl who asked if you can go to jail for committing suicide, and that she doesn't believe in dinosaurs. She believes in fossils, but just not dinosaurs.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:59:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can actually go to jail, if you survive a suicide attempt.
We explained that to her and she said
"No I mean if you actually go through with it." She thought they would put your dead body in jail for murder of yourself.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:40:49 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were being taught about feminism in France during 19th century, the teacher asked for examples of feminist organizations and the girl next to me said "Kamasutra".
In college a girl was telling me about why she doesn't like a guy from class and i quote "I get bad vibrations from him, you believe in bad vibrations don't you? they are scientific." :'(
We had one girl who asked 'Where is the pork on a cow?', the thing that confuses me is that we were in a maths class so I've no idea as to why she'd ask that question anyway
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was one of the only international kids at my small high school in NY state, and this one kid came up to me and asked: 'Hey, you're from Europe, right? Does that mean you speak European?'
He also thought Europe was a country.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:38:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dated a girl that insisted that only 3 planes were hijacked on 9/11. I said no, there was 1 for each of the 2 towers, the one that hit the pentagon and the one that crashed in the field in PA.
She said "No, the Pentagon and the PA one were the same."
After some explaining, it turns out she thought a plane crashed into the pentagon, took off again, and crashed in a field in PA. She failed out of college in the minimum possible number of semesters (3).
I live on a peninsula with a canal separating it from the mainland. It's connected to the mainland by bridges. A girl in my history class asked "If the bridges weren't there, would we float away?"
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:28:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in college, our university dining hall had these plastic cereal dispensers. They had labels, but the plastic was clear and you could still see through it.
I walk up to the cereal one day and I'm behind this girl ho has four bowls of cheerios in front of her. And she is filling up the fifth. Weird, but whatever.
But then she points at the label, looks perplexed, and says, "It says Lucky Charms up there, but only Cheerios are coming out down here!"
I had a roommate who was, for lack of a better work, a poseur. She got this obnoxious rock-mullet haircut, went out and got a full-sleeve of tattoos and decided she was going to be a trust-fund punk rocker (or something similarly annoying).
One night we were drunk on my porch and she was wearing a Ramones shirt, you know...the one with all of their names on it.
I said to her "Without looking, which one of these people is the name of a Ramone: Ignatius, DeeDee or Bilbo?"
She answered: "Bilbo, D'uh" BILBO FUCKING RAMONE.
Another time, I asked her who won WWIII and she told me "the generals."
Conversation between a girl in my 11th grade English class and the teacher.
Teacher: "Why should education be mandatory?"
Girl: "Because if not, everyone would be dumb."
Teacher: "If everyone was dumb, what would be the problem?"
Girl: "Dumb people are stupid!"
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:32:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So we had a debate about censorship, and while the debate was going on, this guy in our class said that if you look at a statue's genitalia you instantly lose your virginity... tried to convince the guy, but no use.
One person asked "If the sun is so bright, why is space dark?"
and in class we were learning about a saint who was clubbed to death, and the teacher said that is why his symbol is a club. She replied "Like a golf club, or the club that you dance at?"
I once worked as a waitress with this girl, second year of college, really nice and sweet.. One day she left a note for our manager: "Left my paperwork on the tabel for you.. TABEL."
Went on a school field trip to a histroic plantation full of actors who had to stay in character. After we leave from talking to a "slave" (the guy did an awesome job), I overhear a girl asking another girl if it was real in a shocked voice. The other girl responded "I don't know". I told them that no, that actually doesn't happen anymore.
Walking around downtown Chicago when a girl around my age came up to my friend and I asking for money so that she could get her wallet back since she forgot it on the train. My friend and I being okay with the story and giving her some change she asked "what are these"? I said quarters, then my friend said "fucking chucky cheese tokens"! We headed down to the subway and a rugged looking guy yelled at the girl asking her what we gave her. She yelled back "Quarters"!
My sister thought that the methods and technology used in the show CSI are real. Yes, she even believed in the ridiculous zoom and enhance stuff they use. Her argument was that "If they can do it on TV, they should be able to do it in real life as well".
Zouea · 3 points · Posted at 03:24:54 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I went to high school with had never seen a whole peanut, and thought they were made in factories, "like, out of plastic or something."
My family was in a mall and trying to figure out where a certain store was. They were looking at a map. My sister saw the little star that said "You are here" next to it and asked, "How do they know where we're at?"
Meriog · 3 points · Posted at 20:28:58 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In my 11th grade biology class there was a guy who once asked, in all seriousness, where ice came from. The teacher just sighed and said, "Frozen water, Dave..." (name changed)
Meriog · 3 points · Posted at 20:34:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I knew a guy once who couldn't differentiate between the letter "q" and the letter "g". I learned this when I told him to check out a game on Gamefaqs.com.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 04:58:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:41:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or she took a 6 hour break/nap and just Cosby'd her way out of it.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 01:01:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is back from high school. Girl from one of my history glasses when we were talking about WWI, "Wait... Where is Europe? Isn't it part of South America?" My teacher had to pull down the map and actually show that Europe and South America were in fact different places.
ITT: No differentiation between dumb and uneducated. Not saying there's no correlation.
On Topic: In art history class on architecture (art nouveau and such) our professor shows a black and white picture of the main shopping street in Frankfurt, Germany.
In the picture there are no cars, pedestrians are all wearing suits/dresses etc. I think there was a horse-drawn carriage in the background.
The professor says "this is Frankfurt in the 80s".
Some guy in the class asks "19th or 20th century?"
took a class in high school my senior year called "The World Since 1984" as in the history, not the book (although quite good). We spend half of a semester on the cold war and this girl, I shit you not, asks the teacher, point blank, "why did they call it the cold war? was it like another ice age? we should have just given the russians coats!" My friend and I (we sat behind her) look at each other and can't keep it together. The teacher makes an uncomfortably long amount of eye contact with her to make sure she's not fucking with him, he squints, " Are you serious?…" she responds, "Ya, I thought…" "STOP" the teacher interrupts. "Just no…" and the class moves on…. she was attractive and saying she was dumber than a bag of rocks gives her too much credit. I am not a mean person but she earned all of the laughs that came her way… She was a prime example of how some kids get through private school because their parents have too much money. Yes, I went to private school and had to earn my way like everyone else. no, i wasn't given any privileges nor did I grow up with much money (a little friend we call debt), these cases were few and far between but they do exist. Sorry for the rant.
TL; DR - Girl thought the Cold War was another Ice Age
Expanding on what tsloan27 said, AFJROTC is like a trial period for those interested in the military at high school age deciding whether they want to enlist; some go on to service academies (West Point, Air Force Academy, Naval Academy) while some go on to a college version (a la Corp of Cadets at Texas A&M or an ROTC program at another university).
In America we have zoning so, depending on where you live, you are sent to specific high schools. My high school would have been a school with around 1,000+ graduating class and the school with the AFJROTC program had around 400 in their graduating class. To switch schools like that you have to be accepted into a magnet program, which AFJROTC was, so a lot of kids who didn't care about anything military related would use the loophole to attend a school to get away from the large amount of kids at the other high school.
I enjoyed it for 3.95 years and had a scholarship to go be in the Corp of Cadets at Texas A&M until I was kicked out for "fake coughing in the back of a classroom" 2 weeks before graduation and became disillusioned with the military.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 01:10:57 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Whats Poland? That's a city in Russia right?"
This girl was in 11th grade. Not mentally challenged or anything. Just a bimbo who preferred to get drunk every Saturday(and usually drive herself home). She's lucky that she's pretty enough to be a model, if she lives that long. She ended up getting a 40 for the year and a 29 on the Final test, for regular US History. It's a shame I didn't get more quotes from her, half the time she showed up she was asleep.
Also a huge Duck Dynasty fan, a fact that surprises nobody.
I had a friend, Roann, ask another friend, Justin, how to say "I quit" In mandarin Chinese. Justin responded correctly and Roann responded with "Wait, what does that mean?"
Porn star Casana lei.
I was dating one of her closer friends, but I lived about an hour away.
One day, a friend and I drove "Casana" and the girl I was dating to an event and as we're driving past a local skydiving spot near my town, I point it out and say "That's a world famous skydiving spot, they've set records and filmed movies there!"
This chick honestly and sincerely asked "Oh, where do jump out of?" She was dead serious.
Apart from just being all around ditzy and sounding like the stereotypical California beach hippy chick, she just seems so..dim.
Anyway, I dated two of her friends and see her strange and questionable antics on Facebook every so often, so I have a few stories but that's what came to mind
When me and 3 of my friends crossed the border and went to Vancouver, BC to drink when we were 19 we met a Canadian who was probably 10 years older than us. The moment he detected that we are American he started telling us how ignorant Americans are. He said that we probably didn't know who the Prime Minister of Canada is. I actually answered correctly, I said Paul Martin. The guy goes "Haha you idiot. No, it's Jean Chretien! Who is Paul Martin?"
Jean Chretien hadn't been PM of Canada for 3 years.
For the rest of the trip, as a sort of experiment, I'd ask Canadians who their Prime Minister is and at least half of the Canadians I asked got it wrong. They'd mostly pause for a bit, think hard about it, and say Trudeau or Chretien.
9001 · -1 points · Posted at 03:47:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Here's why your story is bullshit:
Paul Martin was PM for 2 years and 3 months. If Chretien had been out for 3 years, the PM would have been Stephen Harper.
Paul Martin was PM for 2 years and 3 months. If Chretien had been out for 3 years, the PM would have been Stephen Harper.
When people discuss time they often measure it by how many of years we were in when something took place, not just time elapsed. Jean Chretien was PM until 2003. Paul Martin was PM from the end of 2003 until 2006.
You don't have 3 friends.
So says the internet stalker.
By the way, the story isn't bullshit, you're just incapable of accepting anything that anyone says about your country that isn't glowing praise. I've met many Canadians who have admitted that a lot of Canadians can't name the Prime Minister yet almost every Canadian can name the President of the US, showing how much Canada revolves around the US. Intelligent Canadians are aware of how ignorant Canadians can be about their own country.
To be fair I doubt you'd find a dozen average Americans that knew who their state's senator is. Or which years we have presidential elections. Or how to navigate Walmart without an electric cart.
my friend doesn't know when new years is. He is 19 years old. The funny part? He still doesn't know and when i ask him he just tells me to shut up. I need to make new friends....
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 05:00:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Im gonna park this right here for ya, as you might appreciate it more than the others.
I was working as a liaison between Aberdeen and Quantico and this Major and I would end up at the same meetings on both ends of the trip most times so we would do dinner or whatever in the evenings. One night after about 3 months I thought I had heard the dumbest shit he could stack and he blurts out......
Maj: Did you see that thing in the sky last night over the main gate?
Me: What thing??
Maj: The thing.... with the lights and shit... up in the sky....?
Me: Helicopter? Airplane? ET? gimme something to go on here.....
Maj: Well thats why I am asking... I couldnt identify it....
Me: and it was flying?
Maj: Yeah... no noise or anything.... just ... this.... object.....
Me: Soooooo..... there was an object
Maj; right
Me: flying?
Maj: yeah!
Me: that you couldnt identify?
Maj: Exactly!
Me: So.... an Unidentified Flying Object?
Maj: YEAH! (Looks around real quick) wait.... no.... Gunny.... only crazy people see UFO's, right?
Me: I didn't see anything.
Maj: Well me neither.... I mean.... not me personally......
I excused myself to go to the mens room and damned near cry from laughing so hard.
Guy I work with called our cordless phone to find it since no one could locate it. Turns out it was in his back pocket. He pulls it out, glances sideways at it like a dog, then answers himself. He said hello several times before hanging up. On himself.
He also wrote Bluck Bens instead of Bulk Bins for what it's worth. Ironically I was the one who was ridiculed for being able to stoop down to his cognitive level and figure out what he was trying to say. Admittedly it's a fair point.
A girl I went to school with. She legitimately couldn't spell the word "special" like at all. She would spell it speshull. She was a normal girl very pretty but damn she was dumber than dirt. You couldn't have a conversation with her because she just had to ask dumb questions all the time. She was like Brian's girlfriend from family guy.
Not a teacher but there's this one girl in my humanities, science, and math class who is just the most horrible person. At the beginning of the year she would do jack shit, read manga and hiss at people. And that's it. Around the middle of the year she would pick her nose, smear it all over her desk, or flick it at people, hiss at people, play her FLUTE FROM BAND in the middle of class when the teacher was giving a lecture swear really loud for no apparent reason, and read manga, when she would get up to go to the bathroom she would yell freedom right as she left the classroom (I could hear her from across the school when I was in the fucking gym), later in the year she would spit on other students, would take off her shirt in the middle of class and wave her flab around, and call other teachers cunts, and read manga.
The hottest girl at my high school was totally on my to do list, until she asked "What was the holocaused?". Nevermind, not touching that with a ten foot pole.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 02:53:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do you convince yourself you had a chance with that amazing intellect?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:04:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl ask what the holocaust was, then her friend came over, asked what we were talking about, and then said "the holocaust? What's that? Like a disease or something?"
My high school world history class had debates every Thursday, when one day a girl came in after watching a video on the Internet trying to debate dogs are not intelligent because they don't speak using words my first and only line in the debate before being sent to the principal was "Yet you can speak with words but are still dumber than a dog"
Honestly, my mother. I love her to death, she knows a great deal about law (she worked as a paralegal for about 15 years before her company was closed and she was out of a job.) and would probably make an excellent lawyer given the chance she ever wished to pursue it (although she's worked with scumbag attorneys and believes almost all of them are corrupt, so she never wants to do that kind of work).
The reason I say this is twofold: My mother is highly religious, to the point of discrediting any element of science she even thinks goes against Biblical teachings (e.g. evolution). She also listens to a lot of conspiracy theories and believes those. Her biggest ones she listens to are on the illuminati and about Hollywood "blood sacrifices" that actors must go through to become famous. I've tried explaining science to her and explained to her the difference between theories that forfeit the idea of a god (see: abiogenesis) and those that do (see: biogenesis). A few that I've heard from her over the years.
On abiogenesis vs. biogenesis:
"Oh, it's called that because of Genesis from the Bible?" (I can see where she got that idea, but the word "genesis" simply means "beginning of" and it comes from Greek. See here: etymology of "genesis"/γένεσις)
On HAARP:
Preface: HAARP stands for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, it is "The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) is an ionospheric research program.. its purpose is to analyze the ionosphere and investigate the potential for developing ionospheric enhancement technology for radio communications and surveillance... It is also HAARP is a target of conspiracy theorists, who claim that it is capable of modifying weather, disabling satellites and exerting mind control over people, and that it is being used as a weapon against terrorists. Such theorists have blamed the program for causing earthquakes..."
rant:
Now my argument against HAARP worked on the basis of earthquakes, as this has been one of the biggest theories pinned against HAARP. I went into great detail about how plate tectonics work, how if we wanted to use such a powerful weapon, why use it on countries like Haiti, Chile, China, Japan, etc. (countries either allied with the US or posing no real resource we could gain from), ESPECIALLY when the "war on terror" happened nearby Iran, which is considered to be "one of the most seismically active countries in the world". After about an hour of detailing all the issues wrong with this theory, my mother agreed with me but said "I don't think man could do those earthquakes either. But it has to be demons doing it." After explaining plate tectonics. After explaining how earthquakes happen. It comes down to: demons.
Illuminati & "Hollywood blood sacrifices"
With the Illuminati and "blood sacrifices", there is far too much to cover. However my mother seems to have this belief that any outspoken artist who talks about the Illuminati is some saviour who is trying to stop them. No, it's not something along the lines of the antichrist, but simply someone trying to stop a group that not only controls the world but every facet of the media (per Illuminati theory, not what I believe). Secondly, she NEVER looks at fucking political figures. Amazingly she has not once even considered Obama to be the antichrist (she doesn't like him, but she's never insinuated he's this false shepherd), it's ALWAYS fucking pop stars. It's always Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus or whoever is in the tabloid. She also obsesses over celebrity deaths, to the point that she condemned Michael Jackson to Hell for his allegations of molesting a child (not arguing whether this is true or not, but he was found not guilty), yet she cried her eyes out for a week after his passing. When Amy Winehouse died, she had never listened to an ounce of her music, but wouldn't stop playing it for a week after it happened.
Evolution:
My mother's main stance against evolution (or "evilution") is that it suggests we weren't created in God's form. I tried arguing that perhaps God's form changes over time, perhaps the concept of a "day" in Biblical terms is different than ours (not related to evolution, but part of trying to explain that the Bible could have non-literal elements to it [see: parables]). Still it's an issue of "but it says we come from monkeys". No it doesn't. Never has it said that. The March of Progess showcases "ape-like" ancestors, but they're not monkeys.
TL;DR: Hyper-religious mother disregards all scientific theory for anything she even assumes is speaking out against the Judeo-Christian God, follows Illuminati theory/"Hollywood blood sacrifices" (but is only concerned with Hollywood stars, not political figures or those who could make an impact on our daily lives), and thinks that demons are behind all mishaps, such as earthquakes.
No, honestly she's never spun her viewpoints into her legal work. Trust me, I have overlooked it. It's just that outside of the law it gets a bit too crazy.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:24:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
All the law degrees in the world wouldn't top that kind of stupid, no, that is a special kind of stupid. Almost a willingness to be stupid.
idk if this is more ignorance or stupidity but i went to disney with this girl and we were on a ride when i screamed "oh my god" she took that moment to ask "wait don't you believe in Allah, not god?" ..face palm.
same girl..we were at a party and she was complaining about a giril in her literature class on isreal and palestine and how the girl talks to much about the politics and should focus on the writing..and said, "if she really wanted to talk about the politics I know there is a political science class this qtr on 'india and palestine' " that time i corrected her saying it was 'india and pakistan, telling her that her comment was ignorant and that the countries were in different parts of the world. She really didn't take it well..it really is funny how ignorant people think they know so much.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 08:23:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Literally yesterday in my English class, after writing about space, she addressed to the class that she 'didn't believe in the universe'. She then went on a rant about how she has never seen the universe, and that the 'stars' are just helicopters and planes.
Another girl then added that she did not know what a helicopter looked like.
For the record, I do not go to a special school, this class was only for registration.
Edit: the first girl is the same age as me, 17. Second girl is about 13/14.
this girl my freshman year of high school who was paired up with me told me to pick Michigan for our country project...it was supposed to be a European country
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:12:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend Tom. I called him dumbass in an exaggerated way you didn't know if it was dumbass or Thomas. Anyway this kid packs a lip of chewing tobacco in science class and puts his lips inside an empty water bottle and spits but fucking misses and gets it all over his sweatshirt. Now he doesn't want to get in trouble for chew so he gags himself and pukes all over himself to spare him suspension and got sent to the nurse. He could have just taken of his sweatshirt. He also thought there was a country called Islamia. I have more if you want.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:14:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
why would you get in trouble for having chew?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:13:06 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Most schools don't allow students to have any tobacco products, even chew, regardless of age. At least in central tx.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:15:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kid I knew in elementary school didn't fully believe that you could make yourself throw up by sticking something down your throat. So he shoved his pen down his throat and immediately puked all over his desk. He duped the teacher into thinking he was ill so he got sent home for the day. I don't know if that counts as clever or dumb?
I had a roommate who was dumber than a box of hair. Once he asked me if rent was due "the same Saturday every month". Another time I overheard him on the phone with a client "I found the problem: the zip code has to match the city." He was a consultant at deloitte.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:06:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A girl in my wife's class thought that Caucasians came from Caucasia. Strangely she didn't go to college, just married a guy and started popping out babies. Poor kids
Edit: was supposed to Caucasia. Stupid autocorrect.
I worked at a sushi restaurant with a girl who was 17 or 18 and about to be Valedictorian at her school. I verified this through other people at her school because I could not fucking believe it.
One day she picked up the bottle of seafood sauce and the bottle ginger dressing, both with huge all-caps labels on them that say SEAFOOD SAUCE and GINGER DRESSING and asked me how to tell which one was which. Mind you, they were similar colors and bottle shapes, but a little literacy should solve that problem.
Another day I went into work sneezing and coughing. She asked if I was ok and I said it was just a minor sinus infection. She responded, "What's a sinus? I never had one of those!"
Knew/dated a chick who thought Steven Colbert was legitimately a republican. She just thought he was one of the good republicans, who "got it". We actually had real arguments about this.
Then again, she also thought I didn't like "The Hangover" because I only liked juvenile humor and didn't get intelligent humor.
A kid in my English class didn't like the book we were reading because it "has poverty in it and poverty is a democratic thing." He also thinks that our English teacher is brainwashing the class into becoming Democrats, solely because she said that poverty was an issue for some families.
I was asked how people dye their hair. I responded spay paint (completely joking and obvious about it) the next day this kid comes to school smelling like chemicals and has paint stains in some of his hair and on his scalp and forehead.
This guy I knew in high school. He never had any idea what was going on. He'd always ask, "So what are we supposed to do?" After the teacher had already explained a task, and then repeated it a couple of times for the jerks that weren't listening. I don't really remember anything specific he said, but it was mind boggling how someone could be so clueless. He pretty much never did any schoolwork, just sat at his desk with that typical idiot grin. I'm not even sure he knew how to write.
I was in mexico during the summer & had left mexico already & texted my friend saying that I was in New Mexico then she texts me back saying "aw, I thought you were in the US already"
A girl in my year 12 Spanish class. She was convinced that Mexico was in Spain (yes, she even tried to correct the teacher on this matter, who was from Madrid).
She claimed she was saving the world by driving a hybrid. I live in a city where almost all of our electricity comes from a coal power station. She didn't get the relevance of that.
Also on her car, she claimed she'd never had an accident or hit anything in it. The fact that half the panels had dents or scuffs on them said otherwise.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:19:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha, funny story. My best friends gf is a shit driver. Pulls out in front of FAST traffic, constantly tags curbs, almost hit a cop on the highway, and the other day i had to fix the plastic skid plate on her car, thing was torn ALL to shit, but she claims to haveno idea how it happened. But she claims she's still a good driver, because she's never had a ticket. A week and a half ago I bought her first vehicle from her dad because I needed a cheo beater with room to haul stuff, and he needed the cash. Paid him, and as I was clearing all her old shit out, found and OLD parking ticket. Haven't brought it up yet. Honestly, I'm afraid that she might never have paid it and the next time she gets pulled over she'll be going to county.
Few years back went on a school trip to Italy. Here's some classics from one kid on the trip:
Thought Vatican City was an airport when walking through
-"Do pick pocketers steal stuff?"
Dropped some ball of his in the Grand Canal in Venice, decided it was a good idea to to try and get it, fell in stomach deep.
I can't remember the other stuff he did, but god he was stupid
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:00:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy in my high school government class spent an hour playing with a nail and some copper wire. At the end of the class he showed me he had wrapped the nail with the wire and asked why it wasn't magnetic.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:21:01 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In his defense, that's just a misunderstanding of electromagnets.
We were in grade 10 history class discussing WWI and our teacher says, "The Germans started shelling the Belgians" to which she responds (shortly after applying lip gloss, not even kidding) "What, like, with seashells?"
I had a friend who, and I shit you not, thought Greggs was a country in Hungary. I think she acts thick. Another one was "I'm gonna shoot you with a knife!" She was dead serious.
nuno9 · 2 points · Posted at 12:08:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"A gazelle is a type of bird right?"
"Is that the world map of Europe?"
already mentioned it once, but my brother's friend was pulled over and ticketed for speeding. He somehow managed to secure a court hearing so he could argue against the fine, unfortunately he was running a bit late to the hearing, and en-route he was pulled over... for speeding. Sigh.
A kid in my advanced bio class:
Teacher :"Do two gay men need contraception"
Student : "Yes!"
Teacher(looking puzzled) : "Why?"
Student : "So they don't get poop in their willy."
All was said with a straight face.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:23:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know how when a house is for sale it may have an additional sign above the for sale sign that says, "Reduced Price" if the price has recently been cut, or "Pool" if the have a pool? I was riding with a girl I used to date who was driving and she slammed on the brakes in her neighborhood and the conversation went like this:
Her: OH. MY. GOD.
Me: What's wrong?!
Her: WHY WOULD SOMEONE ONLY SELL THEIR BASEMENT?!
One of my friend's had a classmate who was disappointingly dimwitted considering how much money her folks spent to send her to a nice private school. Here are the gems that were related to me:
1) She thought Cuba was Japan when asked to point out the latter on the map.
2) She thought a map of the Mediterranean Sea was a map of the US.
3) She believed that planes were slower than cars since they appeared to be going so slow when she watched them in the sky.
J-DAR · 2 points · Posted at 13:34:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kid I knew dropped air compressor on his hand cut off two finger tips also broke his foot jumping off a roof and trying to roll to disperse energy and also setting his hand on fire with ferbreeze
A girl I met in college didn't understand how credit cards work. She thought that if you "charged" something, then you just got it for free. She didn't understand that a bill came in the mail that you had to pay later. She didn't see why everyone didn't just charge anything they wanted like she did. Dumb or ridiculously spoiled?
I work at Walmart, one day me and this new cashier where talking. After a long time of asking me why I didn't know if the chicken at the deli was good, I confessed to her that I was a vegetarian.
"Wow that's like impossible how do you do it...... Are hot dogs meat?"
She has 3 children she is raising children and dose not even know that hog dogs are made of meat -_-
When I was in 5th grade, there was this really retarded kid. He squeaked and made retarded noises every day, and pretends he's a superhero. I remember this one time he spent 2 days on a 5 question quiz, and got a 0 on it. some days later, he asked the teacher if he could go somewhere quiet. The teacher's quote was "Why do you want to go somewhere quiet when you make noise and everyone else can take it?" His family is retarded too. I could come up with more stupid scenarios, so I will. I remember this time when he just kept squeaking really loud during a kickball game. Then, one time in math, multiplying fractions, he put 5x5=0, then 5x5=30. He also does not know what forms of words are, and he barley listened.
I had multiple classes with this twit throughout high school and I swear to Cthulhu, they based Amanda Seyfried's character in Mean Girls off of her. First day of American History, we got put in groups to make a list of anything that meant "American" to us. Her responses included "Galileo," "Sunlight" and "Julius Newton" (god only knows what she was thinking of with that last one.)
I later had her in a college psych class (no idea, seriously, how this happened, and I transferred schools that year) where I found out she had a boyfriend but they both believed it was illegal in the state of Alaska to have sex before marriage, and was thereby mystified that it was possible to do so. As in, she thought the state had somehow taken measures to prevent illicit games of hide-the-sausage.
A girl from my high school astronomy class asked how many stars there were in the sky, and when they would run out. She thought that a shooting star (she called them falling stars) were actually stars falling into earths atmosphere and burning up, and that we would eventually run out of stars and that wouldn't happen anymore
A few days after the Boston Bombing my social studies class and I were watching student news by CNN and The anchor says the suspect this to be a terrorist attack. This one very obnoxious stoner chick just proclaims "Uhh it wasn't terrorism because the guys were white." I was to shocked to reply fast enough and also wanted to watch the video.
Another time same girl is giving a presentation for the same class. We were asked to create a country and make rules for it. One of her rules were we have an area for white people and an area for black people. One of her rules were if you were black and were "well trained you could live in the white area" and viseversa for the blacks. I knew she was going to say this so i prepared a soundbite of Donald Glover saying "That's Racist!". She starts the presentation and sure enough she talks about her segregated country I play the soundbite and everyone laughs except her.
Every time he signed off and made his last shitty pun my class would roll their eyes and say "ughhhhh" and then my teacher would say "I hate that guy" and turn off the screen.
I knew a girl that asked my friend Viktor why he "talked so funny". Viktor was a recent exchange student from Russia, and told her this.
"What's Russia?"
this girl was a junior in fucking high school. the question wasn't "where in Russia?", or even "where is Russia?", no; she legitimately had made it to age 17 with no fucking clue what Russia was.
5ype · 2 points · Posted at 19:39:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is more of an IT nightmare.
I worked with a guy in IT once. This was one of those people who think they are good at IT but really have no reason to ever touch a damn computer. Ever.
He was tasked with plugging in a Floppy drive into a server. The floppy drive was the old IDE floppy scsi cable. Well he couldn't quite get it on right. God knows that he was just putting it on upside down or something, or didn't notice the little notch in the middle of the female cable that fits directly into the male end of the cable. So, what does the guy do? Grabs a hammer. He hammers it on, breaks all the floppy pins on the motherboard.
Worked for a petty officer 3rd class in the Navy, that constantly amazed us with awesomely stupid beliefs, not that any of us were especially well educated! I remember whenever he ate French fries he wouldn't eat the last quarter of the fry he was holding, just drop it on his plate. We asked him why, and he said "you don't know where that part has been". After a few seconds of trying to mentally digest that statement, we asked what he meant, he believed when the Cook prepares French Fries, they hold each fry individually in the hot oil, one at a fucking time. When we pointed out that just isn't true, and how the hell did he tell which end of the fry the Cook had touched, he threatened to write us up for insubordination....
My bros friend applied to a retail job and after turning the application in he stole a guys wallet off the counter. The cops showed up to his door and he denied it until they told him that the store had cameras and they found all his info from the job application. That's just the top of the iceberg for that tard.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:43:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
During the Rob Ford crack scandal, before he admitted it, a guy I know actually insisted that Rob Ford can't have smoked crack: "even HE says he didn't do it!"
Dumbest person I've ever met was a girl that thought that Canada was below USA. And this girl is Canadian. She's just fucking dumb. That's what happens when you don't pay attention in school EVER.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:45:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class once asked my physics lecturer if he knew someone who had been in a black hole. So, that was fun. The same girl also believed that a gun bullet weighed 500g. Yup.
My brother's high school girlfriend. She came on vacation with us to Florida. Everyone kept reminding each other to be sure to wear sunscreen, because even though they tan easily, the "sun is different in Florida." Meaning, we're closer to the equator and the rays are harsher. After a few days, she asks us if the sun is literally different, if we only have two suns or are there more. We laughed pretty hard, but tried to be nice when explaining. There were other things, but that's my favorite. She's a working model in L.A. now. Ducking gorgeous, but oh, so, dumb.
Playing cards against humanity at my uni with some new people in the basement one night. Girl did not know what catapults OR the Virginia Tech Massacre was. Sigh.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:52:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those people who make idiotic, nonsensical comments on this website, yet still get gold somehow.
I was working the to-go counter at work, and a girl came in. She was looking through the menu while simultaneously gabbing on and on to her cell phone. I'm slightly eavesdropping, only because she's super loud. Finally, she drops this gem, "I'm getting food... No, I don't want to go over her house.... Because her dad has cancer, I don't want to catch it."
Girl in one of my social studies class in grade 9 or 10 was looking at a map of the world, put up her hand to ask a question, and said "so, if you go up, and turn (does the thing with your hands to tell which way is left by making an L with your fingers) left? You would go to Russia?"
She didn't seem to understand that the earth was round.
I work at an academic library, and I had a part time worker a couple of years ago who didn't know what a bagels are, she asked me to explain "photosynthesism", and couldn't identify the cardinal directions to save her life.
I knew a girl in secondary school/high school, let's call her Sarah. During our mock exams for our leaving certificate or final year exams we took a couple of the same subjects. One such subject was English. Now for our English exam we had two papers on separate days. We were told far in advance of the exams which paper was on which day and we were are fairly familiar with the layout of each paper to recognise one from the other by content alone.
Anyway, Sarah and I head in for English paper 1. I'm sitting in the exam , one hour in, not sure what to write so I decide to look around and waste time. As I'm surveying the room I notice Sarah is staring off out the window. I watch her for a few minutes while she continues to stare. About 20 minutes later she calls for the teacher, there's a brief moment of intense whispering and the teacher sighs and walks off.
After the exam I ask Sarah what happened. Turns out it took it over half the exam to realise she'd accidentally been given paper 2 despite it stating on the front page and along the top of each page which paper it was. The teacher had told her to continue since she'd used up too much time to change paper.
On top of all that she'd discussed the same text for question 1 and question 2 despite it saying in bold to use different texts so she'd lost a huge chunk of her marks.
After the exam results came out I found out she'd failed English and lower level Maths.
my sister and i are both in our 20s and we met a girl that was completely confused at the fact that we don't have accents when she found out we were half vietnamese half white. our asian mom has lived here since the fall of saigon and we were born and raised in tx.
A little late to this party, but a friend and me were smoking weed a couple years back. A girl in the room goes, "Is that a plant?" We're like, "Yeah." "Is it still growing?"
My father's Marine Corp buddy, friend of the family, had a son, Billy. When I was in high school, Billy--who himself was now in the Marines--was stationed about 2 hours away from us, versus the 4 hour plane ride home. So on weekends Billy would come hang out with us, spend time at the beach etc. and would usually bring 4-5 of his closest friends.
All this is prefaced to introduce Dusty. Dusty was six foot seven in all his Marine glory, held intelligent conversations, not the brightest bulb, but smart enough and personable. Our guest bed was getting torn up by its box spring so Dusty offered to take a large cardboard box and cut it down to place under the mattress, but would just need some scissors. My mother handed him the kitchen sheers, the ones that cut through chickens, bones and all, and told him to be careful, they are very sharp. He says 'alright' and walks down the hall to the guest room to get to work. A few minutes later Dusty walked back to the kitchen, holding his blood-dripping thumb clenched in his other hand,(still attached) and asked for a bandage of some kind.
It seems that Dusty wanted to see how sharp the scissors really were, took his thumb and slid it along the blade, cutting his thumb rather deeply.
Elardi · 2 points · Posted at 21:00:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl during GCSE Geography and I were talking, And I mentioned that I was going Sking the Alps after Easter. Someone else mentioned that that was late in the year and the snow could have melted: I agreed but said that we were going to turn it into a walking holiday if that happened. Then the girl chimes in:
Girl: But wont they have melted?
me: They? err sure, but there is still snow at the tops
Girl: but once they melt you wont have any slope
me: what?
Girl: Once the mountains melt you wont be able to walk on them.
me: Sorry?
Upshot was: she thought the mountains were just piles of snow. During GCSE geography.
The Dumbest (and by far the dumbest) person I ever met is on the Honor Roll at Rutgers University and is going to be a teacher...I still can not wrap my mind around it. I don't think I want to. Guess they just give those things away these days.
A pretty common misconception is that the monitor is the computer. This is probably because monitors used to be quite large.
I had to explain to a 17 year old that the keyboard isn't the computer. The computer was attached to the back of the screen. They probably went away with the first misconception.
I don't know if any one will see this, since i'm pretty late, but i was talking to this 9th grader who had just found out that cats give birth. I asked him if he thought they came from seeds or something but i think he was too embarrassed to tell me.
Today a girl got her iPod taken away when she was using it during class. I heard her telling her friend about it during lunch and she said "It wasn't a phone, so they had no right to take it."
Another time she her phone taken away on Friday and didn't get it back until Monday. Before the vice principal have it back, he told her he sold it on eBay and she FREAKED out.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:17:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in high school who didnt know what a slew of common vocab words meant such as extermination and she thought that we were still at war (or at war at all) with Russia. She also thought that it was racist to state that polar bears are stronger than brown bears. Oh i could go on and on.
I'm in a 200 lvl stats course and in one of the examples we were doing in class had a part where we were adding the same two numbers together (very small part of whatever it was)... A girl raised her hand in front of 150 people and asked, "Instead of adding both numbers together, can I just times the one by two?"
Best friends ex girlfriend TOLD me in a matter of fact way that only gay (men) can get aids from gay sex. She really, truly thought this was true. How, I'm not sure. She was 17 or 18 at the time.
l3v10 · 2 points · Posted at 22:18:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have this friend who does crazy stuff for laughs.
Snorting tabasco sauce.
Swallowing a live gold fish.
Piercing his lip three times with a safety pin.
Volunteering to get branded with a bent paperclip on his stomach.
I was in my Sociology class, taking a huge test, when someone behind me raised his hand asking, "What's sociology?" The teacher sent him to the office less than a minute later. True story.
This girl I went to school with named Erin. Once, during history class, the teacher asked her a very simple question with a smirk on his face. He knew what was coming.
"Erin, how many days are in a year?" From across the room, I could hear the long rusted gears of her mind slowly clanking into motion. Like an old ticker tape, the answer strolled across her face and lit a dim bulb in the recesses of her eyes.
"Uhhh.... 246?"
This is the same girl that had no idea Brett Favre played football. We live in Wisconsin. This was during the heyday of his career.
Well, any given customer of mine at this store could fit this description. Holy shit these people... We'll just say that the ones that can tell me their name are the good ones.
Though I think that a couple of a good friend of mine's ex girlfriends might fit the bill. Lauren, for one, was basically illiterate. When I say "basically" I mean jesus tapdancing christ, Lauren couldn't read. It's been years since I have seen her, so particular instances don't stick out anymore, but the illiteracy was a biggie. Also the fact that she thought people believed her blatant, outright, pathological lying. She had her looks to go on though I guess. Mary, the girl he dated afterwards wasn't much better. She worked with me, and even this guy who worked there who had been a straight up crackhead for a while would look at her incredulously when she'd talk, like "what the fuck is this stupid bitch saying?" Once again, it's been years, but I do recall her not being able to count change, do basic math, or cut a pizza straight. I flat out told her to remake something she cut one day because I wasn't going to take her slop ass shit to my customer, and she finally had enough of me giving her shit and walked out. The manager said "thank fucking god." Mary did not have looks going for her like Lauren did. Mary was also a wwwhhhhhoooooorrreeee.
I do not know why my friend dated these two girls. I call him "Mexican Doc Brown". Dude has a mad scientist lab in his basement, and can cobble together some crazy shit out of what most people would throw away. Dude should have gone to Georgia Tech. Brilliant fucker.
To poke fun at myself for a bit, I asked one of my old EverQuest buddies who lived in Scotland if there was pizza delivery in Scotland. I'm sure it sounded pants shittingly retarded at the time, but I meant it in a "Has American laziness made it over there to you drunken bagpipe blowing sheep fuckers yet?" kind of way.
We were seniors in college, in the beginning of our practical teaching experience, and my partner, a 21 yo girl, proudly says, "I only learned how to tell time last year!" We were going to be teaching our third graders how to read a clock. Sigh...I ended up leaving the teaching program, and she is going to grad school.
I see to work with a girl named
Dana a couple years ago. We were receptionists at a busy salon. We used to check people in when they came for their appointments and cash them out. Dana would regularly check people in, and 30 seconds later when they returned to the frot counter to ask a quick question (like where the washroom is or something) - she would say the whole greeting speech again "hi how are you? Who are you here to see? Why time is your appt?" . The customers would always give me the "is she retarded look?". This happened regularly. The worst is when customers who have spent hours getting their hair done and would come to pay with a full head of curls or a giant up do that costs a lot of money - Dana would always ask then what time their appt was and etc.
This guy in my biology class. This guy is so outrageously dumb that some questions he's asked and some things he say include: "Is it possible to have a baby born outside the womb?" "Would it be possible for me to have sex with someone and make a super baby?" "Sorry, teach. Let me just finish this level before I start listening."
A kid today in my honors history class just learned that Pearl harbor is in Hawaii. Prior to that, he though it was in Boston, Massachusetts. He is a junior in high school...
My sister-in-law recently asked me, at a gas station, how to stop the gas handle from pumping more gas in her car, as in, if she only wanted five gallons of gas, how does she stop it? .... I just stared at her, I thought it was a joke.
We were learning about kidneys in biology class and the teacher was explaining how the kidney almost looks like a bean ,so this boy raises his hand and askes "So...does that mean my dad has a kidney the size of a bean?"
Yeah it's pretty easy to tell how dumb someone is by meeting them once. Actually was around him a lot and he was pretty intelligent. Granted he's made some poorly worded statements and you may not agree with all his views, but that doesn't make him stupid.
I was at one of his rally's when he came through my town. He straight up said we need to take nuclear weapons and blow up nuclear weapons favorites in Iran. I'm not even exaggerating.
She was dumb as a brick in general, took her 30 minutes to understand simple concepts, but god damn one time she went overboard.
I went afk to eat dinner and when I got back she asked me what I had for dinner, I told her I had a poutine.
She asks what the heck is a poutine? She's American, so I don't blame her. I tell her "It's a Canadian food dish. It's basically French Fries, Cheese Kurd and a type of gravy. Usually, it's beef gravy but some companies do produce a "special" type of gravy specifically for poutine"
And she responds "What kind of gravy???"
I reply "I just told you... Usually Beef Gravy..."
"Yes but what kind????"
At this point I'm like, you can't be serious...
"Gravy made out of beef..."
She just replies .........
She says NOTHING for 15 minutes and then links me to a picture of a packet of some sort of fucking spicy kajun chicken gravy and asks "You mean this????"
wat
no
just
wat?!
I met her playing Ultima Online, so there were tons of shit like that....
Yeah, I don't blame anyone foreign for not knowing what poutine is, it's just that she was an incredibly stupid person. She was a nice person, but dumber than a fucking brick.
Be French > Move to the US > Listen to the questions people ask you >
Do you go back home every night?
How did you get here? By car? Do you have planes?
Do you have 4th of July?
Do You have Black People?
Some others are just clichés so I'm not complaining too much, even if they are not true at all, that's how it works ... (So french girls don't shave at all? // You guys never take showers, right?)
My sister. Holy fuck is she bad at geography, and history, and anything that required reading at some point. Some of her more famous quotes are:
- Is India in the EU?
- The capital of Denmark is Holland
- Where's Spain?
- What's the capital of Africa?
- Wait, there's a 'South' America?! (she thought there was only one America, the US)
- She didnt know who Stalin was
- Or who the SS were
- or Mussolini
- or palpot
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:15:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is it based of mandarin and Cantonese but is a little different. Or is it really different like comparing Spanish with Italian (both similar but very very different)
It's definitely based on mandarin. But I can't understand any Cantonese... and am fluent in Mandarin... soooooo.... might as well be completely different. Lol
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:36:05 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's really cool. I've been influenced by the north East Italian dialect from my grandparents all my life but never realised that Asian cities would be the same
In high school chemistry, the teacher mentioned that the sun had a lot of helium in it. She asked if it had so much helium, why doesn't it float away?
She was also in my English class. One guy asked a trivia question, saying there were two or three basketball teams whose names were not animals or plural. She yelled out "Cardinals."
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:52:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to be a bagger. (Person who puts the grocery of lazy customers in bags, so they don't have to do it themselves.) My co-worker put eggs under heavy stuff in grocery bags. Obviously they broke. He wouldn't be dumb if it was the only thing he did, but he did it 3 times. And everytime this happened he would look at us really confused asking what happened.
You want me to spend over $100 in groceries AND bag them myself?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:34:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be honest, as much as I hated my job, I think it's better to have a slave to bag people grocery. I saw so many customers bagging in a terrible way that I believe the job just create a better environment.
But damn, the poor baggers are slaves. Most of the time they're doing twice the job of a cashier, but they get less paid because they don't have to deal with money.
I actually bag my own groceries if there's no one down there. Also, they're usually kids and kids are basically tiny slaves.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The worst part is when there is a big rush that we don't expect and there is no bagger (because someone is missing or doing another job in the store) at one station and the customers just stay there watching. I wanted so much to kill those persons because it meant that I had to bag 2 places at the same time all by myself.
Also, I felt bad when I saw a customer trying to keep up with a cashier. Some of them where I worked could go 37 items/minute average and they wouldn't relax even if a costumer was bagging their groceries... Poor guys being drowned by their own groceries.
My step brother and his friend wondered how left handed people play golf. They concluded lefties have their own golf courses. Same step brother put swimmers ear drops in his eyes because he was too lazy to read a label.
Firstly, I have nothing against any American, I like you guyz, I have friends in USA and I know that not everyone is the same. But I never came across so many people who would believe so much stupid stuff I told them, as when I was in USA. I can't even really say those people were dumb, they just didn't cared about most of the things around them. They had no idea if I was telling them the truth or making up, even when I was saying the biggest stupidity I could imagine. I won't even write it here, just imagine something funny you would tell a 8 yrs old and he would still believe you - that was the same with adults.
I think some girls act that way because they think it makes them look cute. If a guy is a moron, his friends call him retarded and make fun of him and he learns to not say stupid shit.
My class took a trip to NY and we saw the USS enterprise. She asked what it was and I explained what aircraft carriers were for. She gave me a firm and serious "thats so stupid" and walked away. This infuriated me and I dont completely know why.
My cousin argued with me for a full fifteen minutes that the acceleration ramp to access the interstate was the lane that you slowed down in. This was an hour before she was to take her test for her learners permit.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 23:57:22 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my history class didn't know that Russia was an Asian country. She also didn't know what a peninsula was.
To be fair, Russia is seen as predominantly an African country.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 00:24:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, come on! Everyone knows they're a Middle-Eastern country. How else would they be on a peninsula when Africa doesn't even have a coastline?
/s
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 03:30:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
How Can A Peninsula Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
Edit: Thanks /u/PopeSleepy for correcting my Jaden poetry
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:35:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you mean "How Can A Peninsula Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?"
[deleted] · 20 points · Posted at 01:21:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well in seriousness, this is pretty dumb but even with most of Russia being in Asia, the more populated areas and such are in the European portion. Not saying she's not dumb, but I can see how she would make the mistake.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:15:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah....i didnt know russia was technically an asian country.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:43:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school who thought showing up a half hour earlier to a job interview meant showing up an hour later. His logic was that he thought people showed up a half hour earlier, so when his prospective employer phoned him he thought that when they said show up at 3:00 he thought that they meant 3:30, so disregarding said advice he showed up at 3:30.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:58:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He'd heard you're normally supposed to show up a half hour early and assumed that half hour had been knocked off the time already so when he was token 3:00 he thought that was 30 minutes before when he should have shown up while he actually should've shown up at 2:30 which is an hour before 3:30
His sister always told him to show up to a job interview a half hour earlier. He got a job interview for 3:00 on some weekday. He thought the interview was at 3:30 because he believed that this interviewer took into account the half hour earlier rule. He showed up at 3:30 because he didn't take the advice seriously.
Kid goes to get high in school. Gets high near fire alarm. Fire alrm goes off. Teachers come out of class and see him smoking. I try to explain that he got caught because his joint set off the alrm. He tells me that fire alrms detect FIRE not SMOKE.
He is Arab and idolizes Hitler because Hitler hated Jews and he does too.
He thinks that the UAE has the best military because "their cops drive ferraris so they can kick America's ass in a war with their ferraris".
He also asked me to get his book one day. I walked over to the bookshelf and threw it on the ground, took mine and made sure to walk all over his. I walk back ot our desk, flash him a big smile and say " idk where your book is". He spent 20 minutes trying to find his book. He actually stepped on it multiple times and I heard him constantly repeating " who's fucking book is this".
He might have been confused because emergency sprinkler systems are triggered not by smoke but by high heat from a fire. Of course there's usually an alarm already going by the time those start spraying...
At my job in a small grocery store, an elderly woman asked me to throw away her shopping list, which was on a piece of paper.
"I'll recycle it for you." I said.
"You'll what?" She replied.
"I'll recycle it, rather than trow it away." I said, and gave her a smile.
"But there isn't any room left to write on it." She said, pointing at the fully written on piece of paper. I was a little confused, so I merely said "You're right" and laughed about it with my co-workers after she left.
Not met but heard of. Suggested going to the sun "Since we've already been to the moon" While we are at it, maybe we could go at night when it's not so warm there.
My friend convinced someone that her eyes changed color on Wednesdays, and that she wore colored contacts to cover it up so that no one would notice.
I convinced the same person to believe that I (a very Caucasian girl) was half black, but had pale skin and green eyes due to a melanin deficiency (which I told her was a deficiency of pigmentation).
My step mom. Just a recent example: She called me up to ask how to connect her tablet to her parents' wifi, so I was walking her through it.
"Hit settings...you find it? Ok now click on Wifi."
"Ok got it."
"Ok, now that's where their wifi will show up, in that list."
"Wait, but who are all these people?? I don't know these people!!" (She sounded really defensive when she said this last part).
"....."
It felt like forever explaining that those "people" are just all her neighbors' WiFi, and that she doesn't have to know whose wifi they are for it to show up in the list.
Edit: This was probably the wrong "stupid story" to use. Lol
My grandpa has me explain this everytime I connect a new device of his (he likes to learn how to do stuff) and I always explain like he is a little child. I love doing it and he is always defensive like that, but in the end, when he gets it, his face lights up like dawn. I don't think he is stupid, he just doesn't know.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:11:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I tried to guide my grandmother how to make a Facebook profile by phone and it gave me such a headache. She's not stupid, just hopeless when it comes to technology.
They called her Gullible Girl. Yes. You read that right. The lifeguards actually called her that because of her infamous repute for her gullible, stupid antics. To her credit, she was very polite to the guests of The Park, unlike some guards I had the misfortune or managing, and then firing, and she always went out of her way to help people. But logic did not exist in her seemingly feeble mind. She was notorious for being the protagonist of a myriad of harmless pranks by the guards, who in their perpetual state of bordom, devised all manner of ways to test the limits of her gullibility. But one day her stupidity outshined everything. I was at the break table, announcing to the guards on break the latest event the guards of the Park were having, a barbecue at a nearby park. Meanwhile, Gullible Girl is manning one of the pools, and a man approcahed her. For context, you must know that three days prior, our manager reminded the guards to not go into the pool unless it was an emergency. The exact details of what he said are lsot to me, but regardless they play a key aspect in the story.
"I need your help!"
"What's up?"
"My kid is stuck in the pool."
"Where is he?"
"He's in that tube."
"He looks fine."
"But he can't swim."
"If he's not drowning there's nothing I could do."
"Where's your manager?"
She points to me. Guest comes over. Guest approaches me.
"What the fuck is the matter with your lifeguards."
"What do you mean, sir?"
"My kid is stuck out there, and she won't go get him!"
I look at him with a puzzled look. He's angry, but not panicking, so his kid isn't in any sort of danger, or he's an Argonian. But he doesn't have any scales or a tail, and Argonians have gills and can swim from birth, so I keep asking questions, and deduce the problem. After a brisk facepalm, I head down to where gullible girl is standing.
"Gullible girl?"
"Oh hey COmmander Shepard!"
"Where's the kid in the tube?"
"Right there!" She says. I examine the kid. Some 5 year old is stuck in the water, hanging lazily onto the tube."
"Gullible girl, if someone can't swim and is stranded, what do you think you sould do?"
"Ummm, throw him a lifeguard tube?"
"NO. Get in there and drag him out of the water, hopefully keeping him in the tube!"
"OKAY!"
The child was removed form the water without incident. Gullible Girl was spared the wrath of the angry parent, but not me. No, she got shamed by her peers after she told them herself, and I made her go through a round of safety training and 2 laps around the park!
I'm related to two people who are 100% going to vote for Rob Ford again.
I don't even tell people that I'm so ashamed.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:28:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well he's a fun guy
jfrey4 · 2 points · Posted at 04:17:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl I know told me that she initially failed her drivers test but her dad paid of the instructor for a pass. She later joked at a party that she once drunk drove her and a bunch of friends home after a night out...
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:19:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupidest person is my Step-Uncle, my dad offered to pay for him to go to College. He declined, there was this girl that was cheating on him and using him for what little money he had, my dad told him that he should leave here, He didn't she had a child with someone else and left him. My dad said he should become a truck driver and that he could stay with us for 4 months so that he could save up and get his own place. He didn't do it, now he is 36 years old, no Job, no place to live, no woman and now his a complete conspiracy nut job believe every thing is against him and that is why it can't get anywhere in life. You can't even have a conversation with him anymore with out wanting to blow your head off.
I'd say she's a genius for memorizing county lines like that.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:23:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a riveting conversation with a touched child in 8th grade about his understanding of WWII. Apparently my understanding was completely wrong.
The war started in 1941 when Germany nuked Pearl Harbor, so we invaded Japan and fought them in the winter, so we had no bullets so we had to use bayonets so we could made all the metal into a nuke so we could nuke Stalingrad, which is why it "is so dirty" This made the Russians think the Germans do it so we "invaded D-Day together" Then nuked Germany again. Then they surrendered. The end.
Also, the only aggressors were the US, Germany, Japan was neutral, and Russia was bad but fought us later cuz they were dumb.
My Ex-girlfriends called me while on the highway. not the exact quote, but close enough She asked "If I roll up the windows in the car while I'm driving down I-75 will I have enough oxygen to breath?"... It took a few moments for me to wake up, and I said "You're not in a fucking submarine. The holes for the air vents are more than enough...". She's studying to be a pharmacist.
She was by no means dumb... just... oblivious to things andblonde. She redeemed herself later by telling me at the drug store a man walked in and said to the pharmacist his house doctor recommended Gatorade for his wife, and asked if it was behind the counter...
I really don't know the answer to that, but I do know that in middle school some stupid bitch, Sarah, asked out loud "Where is the ANY key?!" while in the computer lab.
Once on a road trip my friend's girlfriend pipes up that wolverines aren't real, that they're only made up for the comics. First time in my life I was ever speechless from stupidity!
I lived with a girl in university who genuinely thought that giraffes would build better ladders than humans because they are taller.
On a separate occasion she tried to convince us that aliens are grey shrivelled humans from the future where the sun has dried up the earth.
Maqata · 2 points · Posted at 13:08:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know someone who thought that Leprechauns had leprosy, which is why they were short. This same person also once drove an hour to find the end of a rainbow before giving up.
There's this girl in my biology class who...well. Basically, we were learning about genetics and DNA and all that jazz. We discovered that she believes DNA is an STD. And we have't corrected her, we let her continue to believe that. She later spread a rumour about this girl in my grade "catching DNA from some guy at this party last Friday"...
I used to work as a receptionist with a girl who couldn't even manage to file things correctly. Where I worked, the charts for patients are numbered and the file cabinets have labels on the drawers for the number range, like 1-200, 210-400, etc. Any time she filed charts away they were usually in the wrong drawer.
One contender would be the friend who drinks a daily dose of hydrogen peroxide for health. "...but it is food grade hydrogen peroxide."
He also doesn't have a job because he doesn't like people telling him what to do.
Another would be hubby's ex-coworker. Someone once asked him "did your parents have any kids that lived?"
He replied "You should see my sister, she's really dumb!"
Out on a job, he would let all the air out of the old tires (big semi truck tires) before loading them into the service truck "so they would not be so heavy."
It would not change the weight any significant amount, especially compared to the weight of the tire and rim themselves, combined. It will, however, make the wheel harder to handle, and might make it pop off the rim.
eta: When they say "fill tire to 35lbs", that means 35 pounds per square inch, the pressure of the air in a properly inflated car tire. A person working at a tire and auto shop should know this, and if he didn't when he started, he should certainly have noticed after changing tires many times every day that the weight didn't really change.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:36:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
yanroy · 2 points · Posted at 15:02:36 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once went on a date with a girl that consisted of playing beer pong/beirut at my apartment -- the game where you throw ping pong balls into cups of beer at the other end of a table, and the cups are arranged in a triangle. I believe we were both 21 at the time. We hit enough cups such there was only one side of the triangle left, and if you were to extend an imaginary line through that side of the triangle, it would have gone to the opposite corner of the table to the one this girl was standing at. She requested that the other team "rerack" the cups such that they were "in a line", with the clear implication that she wanted it pointed at her. I suggested she just swap corners with me and then it will be in a line. She was confused by this suggestion. A round or two later, she happened to end up at that corner, and suddenly exclaimed "they are in a line!"
There was no second date.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:20:10 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a guy come up to me as I was reading a manga book (Attack on Titan Vol. 2) And laugh at me because "I was reading the wrong way."
I sighed, and explained to him that the book was meant to be read like that.
He didn't understand, and walked away saying "Fuckin' Stupid.
So, there is this guy I worked with. Let's call him S. We went to same college and we went to same company after graduating. Friendship aside, sometime I am really tired with his shit. I will just provide two examples:
Year 1 of college. Everyone is busy with assignments. Since I am done with mine, I am helping out my classmates as they need it. He need some help with his coding so I took a look at it. Despite bragging about how great he was with coding, it seems that he got some basic coding concept messed up. Those are not a big deal, as people make mistake. So, I corrected it for him and move to help someone else. 15 minutes later, he call me for help. I look at his code again and got a sense of deja vu. Didn't I fix this earlier? I can't really tell as I had seen some other codes in meantime. I just fix it and move on. Then, he need help again. This time, I am pretty sure it was just the same code that I fix earlier, but still correct it. Then it happen again. This time I am rather furious as he is wasting my time. So, I asked him, "Didn't I fix this earlier?" His response is, "Yeah, and it worked, but if I remove your code, then enter my original code, then it doesn't work."
I went to cafeteria with another classmate and we saw him sitting there with yet another classmate of ours. So, we go over to say hi. Then, my classmate decided to ask an obvious question, "Hey, S. What are you eating?" Before anyone can point out his question is silly, S immediately answer, "Shit!" We all got stunned for 3 seconds and have no idea what to do. S then elaborate, "I am eating shit."
In the late 80's I was the kitchen manager of a restaurant in Seattle, and was busy working when this waitress came back to ask me if Budweiser was 'imported'. Without missing a beat I responded 'from Milwaukee'! Next thing I knew she was heading out to tell god-knows-what to the customers at her table. Realizing the black hole of intelligence I was dealing with, I ran to intercept her (just in time).
dvboy · 1 points · Posted at 18:40:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This was back in the 80's... I went to a pub (in the US). Had a sign "All domestic beer, $2.50. All imported beer, $3.25." Got charged $3.25/per for Killian's. I pointed out the error to the waitress, who insisted that was right. Said I could speak to the manager if I wanted. I didn't bother, just paid it.
18 year old girl asked in geography class where a city center in a city would be... same girl asked in history class what hitlers role was in ww1 and if he was 'friends with america'
She wasn't hot.
nasua · 1 points · Posted at 03:14:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met a guy at a science convention who asked one of the speakers: "Well, if we date things by AC and DC, how is it that the people before Christ know when he would be born?"
Later that day, he asked us how people had painted the Equator and longitude and latitude lines, and how it was that they marked them in the ocean.
Everyone: oh yeah that's a good one, that's my favorite too.
Friend: Uhm.. I have a serious question , okay
well..Uhm if Dragon eyes are your favorite then what are they made out of ? Dragons? Cause I'm so confused I didn't think dragons' were real
This is more of group of people, but one third of my class thought Cuba was US owned. I don't know how so many people could think that it one class.
Edit: this was someone else, dont know but I heard these people talking about how this one student claimed he was born in Russia was lying. Ome of the, said "He's not Russian, He's white".
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:48:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Keshia. Seriously. She is in her 20's and spent 10 minutes saying "gullible" Really slowly because I told her it would sound like "green beans".
If TV Tropes is right, Ke$ha is actually pretty smart- she got a 30 I believe on her ACT and took Cold War history classes for fun. Of course, I can't say the same for her twin sister, Keshia.
I had a customer go rounds about brand vs. carrier, in regards to a phone.
Will this work?
Yeah, it's compatible with [carrier]
But it's a Samsung. My old one was made by [carrier]
It was actually made by ZTE, but it was branded with the company. (Most shitty ones are)
But it's a Samsung. It won't work.
customer intensifies
...
I felt like I was Not Sure describing the use of toilet water on plants instead of Brawndo. It went on for so long, and they wouldn't let me activate the fucker. Trust me!
He is actually one of my good friends… But this one time we were playing person, place or thing and after none of us could guess (it was a place by the way) he says, "Tits! The answer is tits!". After we all told him he was an idiot he tried to justify it by saying you can cum on tits so they are places. Now everywhere you cum is a place.
A guy I worked with at McDonalds who got fired for being too stupid. After cleaning the bathroom he somehow managed spread blood all over the door handles and the sink. Everything he did had to be redone.
I don't know any particular thing this girl said but I do remember in English class, 10th grade year, she said something smart. Our English teacher was so taken aback he pretended to fall out of his chair.
A girl in my high school history class asked how people knew when to go and stop at stop lights in the early 1900's because everything was in black and white...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:41:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my sociology class thought that you could recycle toast....
I don't even know how you'd do that or what you'd do with it
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:42:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl last quarter in my history class, after a full one hour lecture on Du Bois and what he did for african american culture, yes I mean full hour not over an exaggeration, asked "wait is he black" it was mentioned roughly 40+ times that he was black. She the followed it up with "Was he a member of Ku Klux Klan?"
Got an IT call from a site..
"Hi. I'm trying to plug in this printer. But the plug has 12 pins on the top and 13 on the bottom, but the hole has 12 pins on the bottom and 13 on the top????"
Had to think of a tactful way to tell him to turn the plug upside down without it sounding like I was calling him an idiot.
I had a roommate once that asked me which nozzle in the shower was for the hot water, I said, I don't know look for the one with the "H" on it, after about 5 minutes she returns and says, "there isn't one with an H on it". So I said, I don't know turn one and if the water gets hot you win.
This one idiot that I went to high school with, that unfortunately has the same first name as me, which always somehow bothered me. I worked at the same place as him several years after high school, and one day while tossing cardboard into the compactor, he literally asked, "If I was in there (the compactor) and had you guys turn it on, the cardboard would protect me, right?"
I was so tempted to either keep my mouth shut and let nature take it's course, or maybe even encourage him to help natural selection along. "Sure Jeff, they'll protect you. But just to make sure, hop in and we'll test this theory." This guy is so dumb, he is never even aware that people are making fun of him. Kinda takes the enjoyment out of it, if you ask me.
Numble · 1 points · Posted at 06:50:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I was in there (the compactor) and had you guys turn it on, the cardboard would protect me, right?
I always tried to make jokes like this, where the answer to the question is so blatantly obvious, that the question itself is so fucking stupid that invokes a momentary "wtf.. are you fucking stupid?" Most of the time it went right over everyones head and I'm probably the town retard, but when there are those few that really get that my intention was to pull some strings, they start laughing their asses off.
To me, I think it was because I always admired those spoofy movies, tv shows, and characters: Hot Shots, Naked gun, Woody Boyde, and Coach from Cheers. I always thought that humor was so fucking clever.
But, since I don't know this person you're talking about, it probably is possible he is an idiot, but I for one would probably laugh and play along. Again, cause I think its clever.
Knowing him, it was definitely not a joke or an attempt at cleverness. He legitimately thought that the things we were putting in there to be squished would prevent him from being turned into a .zip file. Unfortunately sad and stupid. Everyone in my hometown uses this guy as the epitomic example of stupidity.
Numble · 1 points · Posted at 07:45:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats sad.. even sadder that I think most of my friends, well the ones I'm starting to shed from, think of me the same as your hometown think of this guy.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:34:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once worked with a girl, and we had spent most of the evening blowing up balloons for an event the next day with our own breath. Then, we had some helium balloons that were starting to droop, so as a fun break I decided to inhale some helium and start talking which make her giggle. She then proceeded to grab one of the balloons we JUST inflated (not with helium...) and tried the same. She was really upset that her voice sounded the same.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:34:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This girl I used to work with posted on Facebook that her boyfriend (or whatever the hell he is) got her a promise ring. Then she posted another picture of two different "wedding" bands saying that she's engaged. Okay, great. THEN she posts something about "4 years strong". The kicker is that she was dating another guy (and posting about it regularly) about 3 months ago for 8 months. She has a daughter and used to refer to her past boyfriend as the father. He wasn't...
She's been engaged 3 or 4 times in the last 3 years.
Bonus story: This same chick openly refused to tell anyone where she worked once she got a new job, which is totally fine. Except she'd purposely make a huge deal about it when people would asked her. About a few months or so into preaching about privacy, she added photos of her wearing her Quick Check uniform. So much for that...
coladp · 1 points · Posted at 06:40:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl told me that coffee can make you dark skinned. She said that her stepfather was light skinned and the more he drank coffee the darker he got. I tried to explain this to her and she insisted.
Late to the party but when I was 14 or so I met a guy who was 15-16 and I asked if he'd every tried drinking beer because I was curious. He said he had and I asked how much. His reply: "a handful." A handful of beer. This was just one of the stupid things he said and did on that boyscout campout, including shitting his pants and claiming it was mud as if mud smells like shit, but we all laughed about the handful of beer for years.
A handful is actually a legitimate thing. It can stand for "something that fits into your hand" I.E. a handful of skittles or it can stand for "a small number" I.E. I had a handful of beers.
Ha if only he said "a handful of beers." He said beer, as in the uncountable noun, and when asked how much a handful of beer is he told us its the amount you can pour into your hand. I guess I wouldn't have questioned it if he had said a "mouthful." Just ridiculous phrasing, I think.
My former roommate is a mechanical engineering major. He firmly believes that perpetual motion machines are possible. There was also a conspiracy theory sprinkled in regarding the government silencing inventors of limitless free energy machines.
My friend Bobby was convinced that Mississippi wasn't a state but a city in Louisiana. "Yeah dude, its Mississippi, Louisiana." Also this kid got a 30 on his ACT.
A girl I know wanted to join the Air force, but unfortunately for her she forgot how to multiply. Fortunately for us she won't be allowed in the Air force and either fly or fix planes. She has no disabilities and is kind of a bitch so I don't really feel bad for her.
I had a partner in my Junior Lit. Class in High School. We wrote an assignment that just about exceeded the word limit.
So the girl I was working with printed out the assignment in size 8 font. I told her I was going to increase the font size and hand it in. I shit you not, she responded with "but if its bigger won't there be more words???".
Fucking floored by that logic. I have no idea how she dresses herself in the morning.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:02:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Told a girl, my friend had a Napoleon complex. She says, "like Napoleon Dynamite?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:02:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my waiter yesterday at Wahoo's in austin was either really stupid or really high, or both
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:04:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
so i am sitting here reading these comments.......why is that 90% of these are girls??? and mostly hot girls??? like if you are nice loocking then you dont need to learn anything about this world or something?
edit: also, fuck verizon in its filthy fucking scamming facehole.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:03:12 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
thank god i dont need to deal with verizon since i am not American :).....I think this has to do with the way we expect girls to not take intelligence as their main attribute, but rather focus on ""pretty looks'' and so on, thats usualy why hot girls are not as smart as for instance girls that worry less about their physical appearance
girls are not encouraged from a young age to be smart, mostly. they're not rewarded for taking risks, getting their hands dirty, trying things out, being active or mechanically inclined.
everyone tells little girls they're pretty, though. I think it definitely is a big part of the problem
Man I just liked the visualisation of them crucifying a witch and then standing around going "Man this is taking too long...let's just burn her." Also Noah's Arc is bobbing around in the background too.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:12:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
and also, could somebudy who has studied in elementary or high school in USA tell me, what kind of geography lessons are you taught???? i mean, here in Latvia we take that shit pretty seriously , like we need to learn Capital city of Morocco and Madagascar and shit like that.......
Depends on the school. We do a World Geography class which goes over some basics. It touches on capital cities of larger countries. Then we do a US Geography class which is more in depth with listing of all states, capital cities of each state, state histories, symbols that represent that state, etc.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:56:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh, i see
mb2z · 1 points · Posted at 08:21:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Top 5 posts all quoting females... I bet all 5 were fine as fuck
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:22:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
xAaaaa · 1 points · Posted at 08:49:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend once said: ''xAaaaa be careful of those scams that come on TV about starving children in Africa, they have huge bellies they just want your money''.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:51:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Interesting that most people here are saying he dumbest person they've ever met is female.
ex-Boss's wife is a winner here, I came to New Zealand from South Africa and she said she didn't know where South Africa was even though she's 40, she couldn't find her way around anywhere out of our town and would phone her husband to ask which way to go on every street corner. She couldn't download pictures from the net on her PC and so used an iPhone to take screenshots. Also, when we were discussing ages of livestock we talked about when animals cut their back teeth aged around 2 years she said; "that's so cruel, why do people cut their teeth?"
Had a girl in my class once. She promptly believed that hitler wasn't dead. And another time when we saw a film about Beethoven she asked if the guy in the movie was the real Beethoven or just ab actor. And this is just the tip of the iceberg
ojsca · 1 points · Posted at 09:00:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy in my high school English class asked the teacher out of the blue "sir, do the waves happen at night?" Deadly serious...
We were talking about sea level and its effect on boiling point and a girl asked "so wait if your below sea level you can like breath underwater or something?"....came from nowhere at all.
Some years ago in school there was a girl that seriously asked our teacher if "I can touch the earth if I am in space"
I dont know what was up in her mind. She asked such questions frequently. Left school after 1 year.
This one time, in Berlin, two girls got "stuck" in the parking garage at our hotel, TWICE, because they accidentally took the elevator all the way down, and couldn't figure out how to get back up. Hotel staff had to take the elevator down, guide them into the elevator, and bring them back up.
We went on a tour of Israel when I was 16 way back in 2000. One of the guys who i claim is the dumbest guy I have ever met. During a debate about the religious divide, proclaimed that he found the solution to the conflict in Israel/Palestine. And that bit of genius was to divide up the land between Muslims, Jews and Christians, 50 / 50 / 50. I laughed so much that i was kindly asked to leave the discussion.
I lived with this girl who asked our other flatmate if he 'still had his tattoo'. She was so thick that when she got angry she would just yell whatever came to mind; 'get out the fuck!!' was my favorite one.
palsc5 · 1 points · Posted at 09:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Year 11 history. After 6 weeks in the course she said: "Wait, were the Nazis the bad guys?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:18:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god, I've met some amazingly dumb people in my time, but these three are my favorites:
1 - In high school we would all sit on the floor in the corner of the cafeteria and hang out. One day this girl that we all knew was a little special, just lit up randomly and declared the following; "Guys, GUYS!!! I just realized... Every day, when we sit here, we make... A CIRCLE!!!" She then pantomimed what a circle was.
2 - A few years ago I took an extra job delivering pizzas. One day this little tweaker kid was standing there staring at the food coming out of the oven, and suddenly said this; "WHOAAAAAA... I get it now... The breadsticks... They're like made out of... BREAD!!!" I swear to god, I wish I was kidding. He was later shocked when he got fired for threatening a customer.
3 - Possibly my favorite... Last year me and a coworker were having a stupid conversation and making deliberately silly remarks. I said that when Unicorns get stabbed, they bleed rainbows. She casually corrected me and stated that their blood is in fact, silver. I then attempted to end the silliness by saying that her point held no validity, since Unicorns do not exist. Another coworker who had been listening to this entire exchange then piped up; "Ummm... Yeah they do!" She was serious. Dead serious. She really and truly believed that Unicorns existed, because she thought had seen one at a petting zoo one time. NOTHING could be said to dissuade her. She was over 21, had a kid, was barely able to do the most basic task assigned to her, and was an endless source of both frustration and entertainment to us all. Other doozies included: "7:15? It's almost 8:00!", "I had twins, but one died or whatever", If someone didn't speak English, she would scream to make them understand, and finally... I once told her that Panda Express was made from actual Panda meat, knowing that she would believe me. She just shrugged and said; "Whatever... Panda's taste good".
TL;DR We make a CIRCLE, Bread is Bread, Unicorns are real, and Panda's taste good.
The whole kid dying thing reminds me of a co-worker I had that had twins. Both kids died shortly after birth but she had pictures taken of them before "they turned too blue".
She would show these fucking pictures off to everyone and had a binder she carried around with her where she had photoshopped these two dead kids into pictures of her at the beach, at home, on vacation etc. I'm not talking about one or two pictures. She had photoshopped them in dozens.
It was really sad but one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. Super nice girl, super fucking scary.
I'm currently studying for a degree in Chemistry, final year.
In my first year I had to do Radio Chemistry labs, working with radioactive material. One day, after finishing a lab session, the lab technicians checked the room with a Geiger counter to make sure no one had spilled anything in the room. The damn thing goes nuts!
Turns out a course mate of mine had spilled a bottle of radioactive solution all over his desk, tried to clean it up with hand towels and then just walked away without telling anyone.
The head of Chemistry tried to throw him out of the course, but somehow he's still here.
I went to school with a girl who thought that Hitler is still alive and that he was a russian, that there are populations of every single species of animals in Somalia ( she was a somali) and that Somalia is the best country in the world. She was absolutely serious. She also did stuff like stealing chicken from the school cafeteria. She was also fired from a mandatory two-week work practice program because she stole something. A worker caught her in action, but she still accused the manager for racism because she got fired. God I hate her. Luckily, I'm currently in a different school.
We had this one dog handler at my airbase who was borderline retarded. He had gate duty once and he asked one of the sentries to call base to get a replacement because he had to go take a shit. The sentry was kind of an asshole and told him he wasn't allowed to just to mess with him. So he holds it in until the end of the shift and then runs straight to the guardroom toilet trailing a line of shit from the pavement to the toilet. Me and some other guys were in the pantry when we smelled the worst fucking stench ever and came out to find him with his pants down washing shit off the floor with a hose. This guy was 20 years old at the time and he shit his pants.
Kristine O. Went to school with her from K-12. She actually did quite well in school but man, she was dumber than a bag of rocks.
Here is Kristine on:
SCIENCE:
Ninth grade science teacher is giving a passionate and hilarious lecture on diffusion. He's a short, wiry, insanely athletic bald guy with a booming voice that is somehow both goofy and deadpan. Mr. Z. He's being quite animated, moving fast, then pausing for clarity, then moving quickly again to accentuate his point. His knees are slightly bent, his arms are at the ready, like a football player, as he helps us visualize the process.
"Ok, let's just imagine that a teacher on the second floor is making popcorn for his class. They can smell the popcorn just fine, but we can't; We are too far away. Ok?"
Class nods in approval.
"But if we wait 5 minutes, that goody popcorn smell will slowly travel from his room, down the hallway, through our open door. Now we can smell the popcorn. That is how diffusion works. The transfer of particles from areas of high concentration, to low concentration. Ok?"
Class silently approves again. Z is bouncing around as he lectures, making eye contact, eager to make us understand this concept. Then Kristine goes and kills him by saying, with a content dumbass grin, "**I can smell the popcorn."
To say Z deflated is an understatement. The intense longing for pedagogy in his eyes was brutally murdered with one short statement. He stood up straight again, and just sighed.
WORLD HISTORY:
Our social studies teacher, a lovable oaf and brilliant supporting character in the comedy that was our junior high school. He loved classic rock, Cold War-era American history, mob movies, all that fun stuff. He talked to us like we were friends (me especially, because I'm awesome).
We were more than halfway through what was by FAR the longest unit of study in any social studies class I have ever taken: Russia. We had been on the topic for probably 6-7 weeks at this point. I think we were doing a class of review for an upcoming class. Mr. Reid, the teacher, was going over the list of Russian leaders we had studied at this point, and the various reforms and notable events that fell under each man.
He went on a tangent for a while talking about the various atrocities committed under Stalin.
Kristine like a dumbass blurts out "Wow, Germany had some really bad leaders."
Reid was WAILING with laughter. He was quite literally so pleased with her stupidity that tears dripped from his eyes. It took us, a class of 30-minus-one 13 year olds and one 38 year old man to explain to Kristine some combination of the following:
Not only have we not studied Germany in the past month and a half, we have not studied Germany this year.
Russia is not Germany, nor is it almost Germany.
Hitler is not Stalin.
Hitler and Stalin have never led the same country.
Not only have we not studied Germany in the past month and a half, we have not studied Germany this year.
WORLD HISTORY CON'T:
In the same classroom, probably a few weeks before the previous incident. Mid lecture, another teacher, Mr. K (who coincidentally, could have his own "dumbest person I've met" essay) enters the class to talk about the upcoming basketball schedule for my team that Reid coached. Mr. K is this creepy, balding man with the stupidest facial hair and creepiest "I want to befriend my students" smile and unblinking dead eyes I notice Kristine staring intently at K, then looking even harder at the wall. She goes back and forth about three or four times and I just know the gold mine is about to be tapped. K leaves and Kristine says "Mr. K looks like John Lennon." Everybody, including Reid and myself, just kind of stare at her before going "...whhaaaat?" She repeats herself like it might help us understand. I make a crack about how Mr. K could literally not look any less like John Lennon. She points at the wall and says with a dumbass smile, like she just beat me, "look!"
I look. I see nothing. Pictures of the various Russian leaders we have been studying. Birthmark Gorbachev. Eyebrows Brezhnev. Mustache Stalin. Bald Len- Ohhhhh... Vladimir Lenin. Yeah, you didn't beat me.
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY:
One time she leaned an inch off her desk to pick up her textbook off the side shelf and it weighed her down. Somehow. She literally tipped though, like her head followed a perfect parabolic travel path from upright, to the floor.
My sister-in-law. She was shocked beyond all reason when we told her that the moon moves.
Then there was the time I found her looking at the map at the mall entrance. "You are here," she reads. Then, in a voice filled with childlike awe and wonder, "How do they know?!"
My ex is probably the most stupid person you will ever meet, here is a little list of her shenanigans (this was observed under the span of 2 months)
First thing: "my friend needs to poop all the time, she has such a small blatter!"
"Babe, the blatter is for pee, not poop..."
"Isn't it the same blatter for both!?"
Another gem caught while discussing foods: "i've started eating alot of meat, there is no fat in that"
"There is though..."
"No there isn't, where?"
"The white part of the steak is..."
"Isn't that pieces of bone??"
Aaaand:
She had acctually burnt cereal with milk... (She thought the milk was too cold so she microwaved it for 10 minutes...) she puts the toast in the toaster with butter and ham already on it... She nearly burnt down her house when she was frying bacon and the grease caught on fire, she poured a cup of water on it witch made it burn even more, when that did'nt work, she kept tossing more water on it........
I dated a girl who believed that South America referred to the Southern part of the United States and The actual continent of South America was Africa even though she had seen the actual continent of Africa on the map as well. Didn't last all that long.
Good old (lets call him Will) of year six. He got paper stuck in his ear and had to the doctor in the middle of class. Twice. He also spelled his name wrong and didn't figure it out until someone pointed it out, this wasn't just any class work either, it was his assignment for the term and by the time he found out it was already handed up. Good old Williamiam.
I know a girl who didn't understand the idea of MPG (Miles per gallon). She only knew that the higher the number, the better. I even tried to explain but there was no hope.
there is a big difference between stupidity and uneducated.
cnwil · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend was twenty two when he got the name of his sixteen year old fiancée tattooed on his bicep on huge letters. He has since covered it up but I will never let him forget it.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class thought that when someone with glasses took their glasses off, they couldn't see. Like a blind person can't see.
I just said "So, why don't blind people just wear glasses then?"
A girl I used to know thought that the earth was hollow and we all live on the inside. She was unclear on whether there was a flat plane we live on with a dome surrounding us or if we lived all around the inside structure but if it was the latter then the stars we see are actually the opposite side's city lights.
Probably not the dumbest person I met but when I about 10 my friends little brother knocked and asked if I could come out. I was about to have dinner so I said i'll be out in half hour then he said "but john said he'll be half hour, you're gonna be half hour, that means I have to wait an hour". I remember feeling so bad for him I just nodded and went along with it.
Sitting in music class behind a guy. Dumbest person who always tries to pick fights with me. I start rubbing my jeans on the plastic chair and build up a static charge, reach over and static shock him and quickly return to my original position. Kid freaks out but doesn't say anything. Do this a couple more times until the kid looks up and comes to the conclusion that the lights above him were doing it. Screams at the music teacher that "THE LIGHTS ARE HITTING ME WITH LIGHTNING!" gets kicked out of class, still never told him it was me
When I was 11 years old, my brother's (now ex) wife told me that she and I were blood related. When I tried to explain the meaning of "blood relative," she started nudging my mom and repeating, "That's something your mom will have to explain when you're older" wink winknudge nudge*
I felt so betrayed when my family laughed along. I learned later that they often laughed along with her so that she'd shut up sooner.
I had a flaming gay friend during high school who didn't understand why there was an issue with gay adoption because he thought when he met the right man, he'd just stop using protection and get pregnant. Why yes, he had failed biology.
Later, me and his boyfriend convinced him blinker fluid was a thing. As in, when your turn signals in your car don't work, you just need to refill the blinker fluid. He actually went into an autozone to buy some and spent a half hour arguing with the clerk that he needed blinker fluid, not light bulbs.
He was adorable but man, that boy was not the sharpest tool in the drawer.
We did the blinker fluid thing to someone in high school. Best one we ever pulled on them was that it sounded like their "muffler bearings" were coming out. I grabbed a handful of ball bearings we had in our machine shop and threw them all around the back of his car.
He left and came back a couple minutes later asking us how he could put his muffler bearings back in because they had all fallen out in the parking lot.
Been friends with this girl for a while now, shame she really is a nice person, but not very smart. She once told me, in all seriousness "Dont you think its funny how all anorexic people are skinny?"
A girl in my college speech class gave a presentation on furs and why we shouldn't wear them. It was only fox furs that were ethical. According to her research fox furs were the only fur where an animal isn't hurt, she said she guessed they grew their fur back. Took me a minute to realize she meant "faux" furs and didn't know what the hell she was talking about. I had one of those barely containing an inappropriate "laugh until I shit myself" moments.
Girl in my old Germany class she was so fucking dumb it should have been illegal for her to breed, of course she now has three kids. Idiocracy was spot on.
A girl I once met thought that the icons on the desktop on a computer where actual physical things lying somewhere inside the computer. I don't know, maybe she thought that the monitor was some sort of overhead? Don't really remember the conversation, hard to follow logic from people who are completely devoid of insight. She was also stalking me for a while, until she got knocked up by some other poor guy. At the ripe old age of 17.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:05:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably myself to be honest.
Jsut61 · 1 points · Posted at 11:06:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who tried to convince me that Great Britain is a 3rd world country
We show some pictures of Indonesia and there was a pic of a rice field. And saw green plants in water, pretty normal. Then my aunt ask how do they get the rice white. She thought foodcolor.
zb6422 · 1 points · Posted at 11:19:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My cousin of 18 thought a "black comedy" was a movie genre exclusively staring African American actors.
I convinced someone Lincoln (Spielberg) is based on a Shakespeare play of the same name and that Abraham Lincoln isn't a real person.
zacree · 1 points · Posted at 11:21:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I knew in highschool. She thought Bill Gates was the guy who orchestrated 9/11, thought Mother Theresa was a fictional character, thought chromosomes were what transferred sounds throughout the air, thought to had to shake pencils and MANY MANY MANY more. It's like she was just placed into existence with a basic knowledge of the English language at age 18 and that was it. Idk how she didn't choke to death trying to tie her shoes. Idk how she would do that, but I'm willing to bet she'd find a way.
My fiancé and I were buying our weekly groceries. The cashier had just moved to Connecticut from somewhere down south. She was telling us how she missed not being able to see drive-in movies. We were telling her that there used to be one near by but it had closed a while ago. I said something to the effect of, "yeah it's too bad, they closed Southington (meaning the drive-in theater) years ago" her response was, "really the whole town?" I was to astonished to come up with a smartass comment.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:22:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My ex-wife's sister is the most ridiculously thick-headed person I have ever met, hands down.
My ex and I bought a VCR when they first came out and my wife was telling her about how we can go to the store and rent a tape to watch a movie. Her sister went and rented herself a movie, then called us to ask us how she was supposed to watch the movie.
She did not have a VCR.
EDIT
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:22:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
An old work friend once exclaimed ''I thought I could hear something smelling'', to which I just could not reply
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, Ana... She was a model. Think that one girl who married the guy from lost. She was a lot like her.
One day, I saw her trying to operate a vending machine. She had the dollar upside down. You know how that doesn't or didn't work a long while ago. Well, after 50 tries, I spoke up. "Ana, you have to flip it."
"Ohhhh...."
So instead of flipping it upside down for George Washington's face to look at the sky, she flipped it 180, horizontally... Back to the grind, Ana went...
well, a mother of one of my good friends was born in Cuba. She came to the US when Castro let a bunch of people out, saying they could never return. Well this girl i know walks straight up to my friends mom and says "Mrs. (blank), Did you swim here from Cuba?" I don't think she knew what she did wrong....
I have met many genuinely stupid or uneducated people, but still, what I consider the pinnacle of stupidity is the obsession with religion, patriotism and other right wing views.
There are many educated or successful people with this kind of views, but I can see the underlying stupidity when someone makes the purpose of their life to force their beliefs and way of life on you.
I'm pretty sure my opinion is really unpopular though.
Jujewb · 1 points · Posted at 11:30:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had one of those little basic knowledge sheets first day of civics. Asked for out towns mayor, girl next to me writes "Steven Harper". Also, when we were speaking about the Magna Carta, she starts referring to it as "he".
I was on a date with that chick who said that grown ups is the funniest movie ever made. I thought she was joking, so i just said: "haha yea..." she quoted the movie all night long
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This extremely religious kid in my high school legitimately thought that dinosaurs were around 45,000 years ago...he also was extremely against gay rights. Lets just says he wasn't the most liked kid
In primary school the classrooms got brand new carpet, we were sitting down listening to the teacher and he starts poking the carpet with a pen and a little bit of the carpet was starting to come out. He went to rip it off and ripped a good 15 cm line of carpet out. He got in so much trouble I did see that kid for 3 days after that.
My ex girlfriend's friend. On the beach in New Jersey, literally the jersey shore, and she asks "what part of Pennsylvania is this?". Apparently Pennsylvania is bordered by the ocean.
Girl from my German language class: "Where is 'S' in the dictionary?"
She was stupid as hell but the whole class was in tears of laughter when she said this.
A friend of mine replaces words with other ones all the time. Sometimes, they sound similar or they are related in some way, like fondant = fondue or constellation = consolation. But, other times, there just made up, like a "door-bender" = door hinges or "harry-foams" = pheromones. I feel bad occasionally, I used to correct her when she did it, but I gave up a while ago. These are some of the things she's said:
"Obama isn't Islam, he's black."
"I've been really intersective (she meant 'introspective') lately, and I think I'm a Buddha-ist."
"What type of school do you go to to be a physics median? (she meant 'psychic medium') Like, would a Catholic church teach you that, or do you need a degree?"
This last one isn't about switching words, but it's still ridiculous...
* "Only people who were sex abused as kids are gay." She gave us this gem when she announced she was a "lesbian, who still likes dick"....
shrc91 · 1 points · Posted at 11:37:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once convinced a girl at my school that we needed a passport to get into central London (we live about two hours away) and that they use Euros there.
Following day she's packed a mini-suitcase, had exchanged £150 worth and had passport in hand.
Entire day: 'when is the border?'
icy37 · 1 points · Posted at 11:37:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Year 9 history- "Ohh, I though guerrilla warfare was something to do with big, hairy men"
We have a tv show called "The 7:30 report." Our teacher asked us to watch it that night. A girl who is known for these types of questions then asks what time it is on.
Very late to the party so this will probably get buried but...
One girl in my secondary school (she was 17 when she said these)
"If planes fly really high wont they bump into God?" and
"If a woman has a nose job will her baby have her new nose or her old nose?"
I thought she was stupid before these comments but after she said this i knew she was thick as pig shit....
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:43:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm late to the thread but here it goes. One of my friends fully believed that Latin was not a dead language because there are people living in Latin America.
Girl at my high school: "who cares about global warming, if the sea levels rise then all of the islands will just like float away..." The teacher nearly cried.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I uses to train for directv. I was doing an "up training" during the big HD push for a group of agents who had worked there for roughly 2 years.
I was explaining that when customers call in to order HD equipment and schedule the install a new dish would be required, as the HD channels came from a separate satellite location.
One girl who had been on the account for almost 2.5 years was staring at me blankly. When I asked her what she didn't understand, the conversation went something like this:
Her: you mean the dishes are used?
Me: what do you mean?
Her: the dishes. On the roof? They actually do something?
Me: are you serious?
Her: yeah. I thought we put those up there for advertisement.
Me: ... ... ... .... promptly sits down and places head in hands
I have so many stories about stupidity from my 4 years working for that company I have seriously considered trying to write a television series.
My ex-girlfriend actually. I guess she wasn't particularly dumb, but she used to mispronounce words all the time, like she would say horizon the same way you pronounce horizontal- like horry-ZON :p
And she thought you could get a virus on your computer from using online multiplayer in minecraft..
But she was cute and pretty and liked me, so I didn't care :)
A girl I know made a cake one day. Nothing complicated, just one of those add oil and eggs Betty Crocker type deals.
When everyone was eating it, it was noticed that it was..... Crunchy. Her response? "Well, the box said I needed egg whites. Didn't I crush them up enough?" That's right, she used the shells.
The sad thing is that stuff like this is extremely common with her.
This guy I knew in high school had his Facebook picture changed to two gay guys making out. He got really pissed off at this loner computer nerd, who he thought had somehow managed to hack into his Facebook page and change his profile pic. He proceeded to change his status to, something to the effect of, 'I'm gunna find you 'computer nerd' and kick your ass'. It turned out he got fraped by one of his douche bag friends.
My brother's ex used to be a close friend of mine, and one day I needed her to get into my online banking (it's a long story, but she was trustworthy). She gets on, does what I needed her to do and then it's done. Easy enough. Until a few months later I find she's running around telling everybody I have $22,000 savings in my account. The only $22,000 in my account is the $22,000DR that I'm in debt. It clearly says "DR" for debts and "CR" for credits.
I wasn't friends with her anymore by that point (no wonder, really), and I never bothered correcting anybody on it.
I recently had to give someone directions from 42nd and 7th to 21st and 7th. Not even "Downtown is that way." STEP. BY. STEP!
And no. She wasn't a tourist. She's from here.
For those of you who aren't from here, Central Manhattan is almost completely numbered streets, in order, in a grid. Almost all of the train stations have names associated with the numbered streets they are on.
Girl from my high school named China. Easily the dumbest stoner I've ever met. Just a really dumb girl in general. My geometry class got cancelled because the failures of Algebra b were so massive they needed a second class to fit them all. I couldn't change my schedule without sacrificing band, so they put me in an "applied geometry" class cause it was the only other geometry class in the time slot. Applied Geometry is geometry for peple who don't understand math at all. So I was in there with some pretty stupid people, but she tops the charts.
Teacher: "China, give me a number less than ten."
China: "Ten"
T: "No, less than ten."
C: "But ten is less than that."
She spent 15 minutes trying to open the door to the classroom on 4/20. 15 minutes, the teacher just sat there laughing. As did we all, we pretty much bagged her the whole class for that.
Dropped out of college to pursue a "modelling" career with a dude who factually lives in his mothers basement at the age of 28.
i know a girl that studied for a few months for the asvab (US military basic aptitude test). the first time she took it she got a 27. a twentyfuckingseven. she studied for a few more months and took the test again. this time she got a 42 (almost the lowest acceptable score from what i understand). when she got to boot camp she decided that she wanted to quit. i never knew you could quit the navy.
I was sleeping with a girl for a few weeks and made a joke about her being a Nazi poster girl due to hair and eyes. She didnt know what a Nazi was. She was an adult, in the Air Force with me and didnt know what a Nazi was.
My friend claims that his dyslexia is to blame for his poor spelling and pronunciation.
He's 25 and pronounced the word "legendary" as "leg-and-dairy." I laughed because I thought he was joking and he just looked at me with a confused look and didn't understand why I was upset with him for making the excuse that dyslexia is why he pronounced the word wrong even though he technically read the word correctly....
Now I understand that dyslexia is a real thing, but he does this all the time. Even when I've corrected him on the word he said incorrectly he will keep making the mistake basically immediately after I help him.
Some friends and I were at a party in high school and we felt like showing off because there were a good amount of people around. We both run up to this wall and each do a back flip after taking a step up the wall. This dumb girl was shocked that it was actually possible to do. She sincerely thought that it was only possible in movies.
A 17 year old girl in high school legitimately thought that islands are floating in the ocean and not moving because they are chained to the ocean floor.
Super late to the game but my ex roommate thought that when you made chicken broth the bones would disintegrate into the liquid. She had no idea that you had to actually remove the boiled bones from the pot.
Well, I didn't meet the person but I was sitting behind her on the bus. The bus stopped to pick up a few people and was directly across from a bridge over a main road. The bridge had a staircase and also an elevator on each side. She turned to her friend and said
"Hey, I know they have elevators on the bridge so disabled people can can up, but like what's the point if they have to go down the stairs on the other side?"
This kid I went to high school with. We were reading Hamlet in senior year English and someone read the line, "something is rotten in the state of Denmark." This kid immediately goes, "whoa, whoa. Denmark is NOT a state. It's not even in the UNITED States, guys."
In high school there was a girl who swore Canada was a state and the US ruled over Great Britain because we beat them in the civil war. To be honest not the dumbest thing she ever said just the only thing I can still laugh at.
eliasv · 1 points · Posted at 12:12:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't actually meet her, but a friend was talking to a girl outside a club once in the smoking area in winter, and suddenly she squats down to the ground. He asks her what she's doing, and she tells him that it's warmer down there... Because it's closer to the equator.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:13:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cousin's ex fiancé. Here is a brief list:
Was in a hurry to get to work and melted a hair roller to her hair while blow drying it. She had to cut a large chunk of hair off her head to get it out.
While being taken to the cottage in northern Ontario, she commented on how the rivets in the road were speed bumps created by construction workers to slow your car down, and how ingenious that was (it was evident it was caused by rain water, and erosion).
After swimming in a lake in this very rural part of the province, she commented that she was happy to shower off the slimy lake water, by showering in the cottage, where the main source of water is - lake water.
There is more. She dumped my cousin right before their wedding, at my grandparents funeral (they died about a day apart). Then criticized our family for being heathens. She didn't like me in particular :)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:14:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm still scrolling, and all the top comments are still about girls. I'm not sure if I should be concerned about reddit, or about society.
There was this really loud, annoying girl in my Chemistry class. The first week of class, the teacher was talking about everything we were going to learn about. After the teacher was done talking, annoying girl blurts out, "So are we gonna like, split atoms in this class?" She was 100% serious. The teacher lost it.
Someone I know thought Mahatma Gandhi and Gandhi were two different people. And they also thought Mahatma was his first name.
papker · 1 points · Posted at 12:16:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Many years ago I was helping my then girlfriend with some undergraduate astronomy homework. It became clear in the course of our discussions that she had a very, very warped view of the size of the son. I asked her, "How big do you think the sun is?" And she got very evasive. Once I pinned her down she answered, "I don't know! Like as big as a car?"
That was pretty staggering.
That said, I also once had convinced her you could unboil an egg, so I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised.
I know a guy who has had 3 pregnancy scares in a month, contracted Chlamydia in the next month, and when asked what 8x8 was, he said it was 63 and didnt understand why he was wrong for several hours.
I love the guy because he is nice and ewliable, but sex ed and math aren't that hard.
Total ditz I went to college with. She had big hair and was insanely tan year round. We told her that the moon absorbs your tan the same way the sun bronzes you only in reverse. She believed it for the entire duration of our junior year. She would cover herself completely and run to her destination any time the moon was out. She would also take cover to catch her breath if her destination was a ways away. Absolutely ridiculous sight to see.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Our English teacher wanted to know what books we were all reading and this girl told everyone she was reading "The Sub-tull Canifee".
She was actually a few chapters into "The Subtle Knife" by Philip Pullman.
"Wool is murder. You have to skin the sheep to get it." She also thought polar bears came from Poland and that the periodic table is actually a table (wooden, four legs). I guess it doesn't sound so bad but to say we're zoology students, it is.
Thought that wearing matching, hideous, bright orange eye shadow with her sister would make them get more friends. They truly thought this.
Once we were waiting in a parking lot of a strip with tons of restaurants and shopping and there are seagulls flying around. "Oh I bet I know why the seagulls are here, because Red Lobster is over there!"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:21:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This will get buried, but God it deserves to be told. A girl I went to school with found out her dad was marrying a woman from the Philippines:
"So, if my dad marries a Filipino, does that mean I'll be half Filipinian?"
He was late with the rent (as usual) and he told me he was out of checks and asked to borrow one of mine. He legitimately thought borrowing one of my checks would magically take the money out of his account.
I wonder if he really thought that. It's possible he came up with that to somehow hide the fact that he tried to steal your money with your permission.
Got any other stories about his (lack of) genius that'll remove any doubt of his idiocy?
Well he is a sophomore in college and he asked me how to write a check when he first moved in...
He also called me 2 months after he moved in and asked if we owned a toaster. There had been 2 toasters on the counter since the day he moved in.
He's also one of those people that asks you what's going on every 20 seconds in a show you're trying to watch.
The good thing about him being an idiot is that we can prank him with out him knowing it was us(me and my other roommates). He takes long showers and plugs speakers into the outlet and cranks the volume. So we just go to the breaker box and flip off the outlets in the bathroom(which are on a separate circuit from the lights). We've been doing this for about 5 months now and he hasn't figured it out.
A guy I know drove the opposite way while heading back to his hometown. Was supposed to be driving west and actually drove 2 hours east and ended up at the beach. In the same trip he also ran out of gas because he wanted to stop at the same gas station he always stops at on his way home. This was last year and he had a GPS and Smartphone. Also, he once told us that he wouldn't ask the bank to send him a new debit card because he didn't trust the mail, when we asked him how the bank received a debit card to give him at their building he said “I thought they just had a machine to create them in the back." Another time, he attempted to do a backflip off the side of an in ground pool and busted his face on the side of the pool, this guy is a huge guy and stated that “the chances of me hitting my face on that pool were astronomical." There are more examples but I'm starting to feel bad.
My friend, who was a junior in HS at the time, confessed that she had no idea potato chips were made from potatoes. She was in complete awe when I told her.
Other friend, freshman year of college, she struggled with the ATM machine because she didn't know what a "personal identification number" was. She kept trying her student ID number until she asked someone and they told her it was her PIN number. It wasn't until I pointed it out that she figured out "personal identification number" stood for PIN...
I had a girl in my classes in high school (We were French immersion students, so we all took the same classes)
During biology, we were discussing evolution, and somehow got to the topic of gills, and how fish breathe under water, she piped up "That's stupid, I don't have gills and I can breathe underwater" ... silence... I said "honey, you can't breathe underwater, if you went swimming right now, put your head under the water and took a breath you would drown" She then sat up, and very smugly stated "Well I can breathe in the shower!" ... I just shook my head and replied "yes honey, you can also breathe when it's raining out, but just please don't try breathing underwater the next time you take a bath, your parents would be devastated" My teacher quickly changed the topic, and the rest of my class just stared at her quietly and sadly, while pondering how she managed to make it this far in life.
There were many other instances with her, in one case she missed the day we concluded studying the chapter on WWII, when she came the next day she asked "who won?" When my teacher explained "Hitler obviously, we are speaking German right now" trying to get a few chuckles, she burst out crying and couldn't believe no one had told her she was German this whole time "what if I'm a nazi and didn't even know it!" ...my soul, it hurt that day.
'Dolphins aren't mammals, they don't have a pouch'
'He's portuguese, so that makes him... portuguese'
and wait for it
'wow dickhead what does then I'll read you mind physic how come thats not there then.
Did u use your physic powers and delete the definition to confuse me?'
This kid thinks that locking people in jail for 6 months for every drug infraction will fix the drug problem. I say education will, as people will know what will happen and not to take those drugs, as it will not be perfect but the best way to do it. He said his way was not using fear because people need to be held accountable to the rules.
This kid didn't know how to cook an egg. He put a pan on the stove, and without any oil or butter, without waiting for it to get hot cracked an egg on it. He was 18 and did not understand that a pan needs to be hot to cook an egg and that it should be greasy to not stick.
I was at a party at a friend's place and his neighbour was also there along with this one girl. At some point my friend's neighbour talks a bit about his collection of old coins.. and one of these were from the beginning of the 19th century..
Upon hearing this the girl enters a wild-eyed state of amazement and almost shouts "oh WOW!.. I didn't know they HAD COINS back then!!"
I had to re-read your question thinking it was "who is the dumbest GIRL you've ever met" and not once is girl mentioned but these top posts...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was in grade 10 this girl asked me if bacon was a meat. This same girl also asked a Canadian exchange student if he spoke Canadian. She was also certain that "Orienteering" was a made up word and that people in my grade made the word up just to trick her. She's had other stupid moments but I can't remember all of them.
To this day she is the dumbest person I have ever met
gkiltz · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's like asking an experienced diver what's the wettest fish!!
mhzx6 · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My boss. She has a hard time putting two and two together. For the amount of money she makes, it's absurd. I think she was dropped on her head as a kid.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
God bless her I love her so much, she's definitely not dumb otherwise but she asked me one of the most ridiculous things once. We were staring at the stars from the deck of a cruise ship, and my girlfriend asked: Are there any stars closer than the moon? I just didn't know how to respond...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:35:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were talking about Hawaii in AP US history, and some girl thought Hawaii was the 51st. A junior in high school, who had lived in the US her whole life, in a college level course, thought this.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I knew in high school. She thought carpenters replaced carpets. She thought robots were like unicorns santa clause and the tooth fairy as far as existance goes and when we showed her a video of one, she was adamant there was a little man in the suit. She didnt know what mammals were, didnt know where North America was on a map (we live in the US). The list goes on and on but Im drawing a blank on her other knowledge gap
The sad thing was that I absolutely blew her away in SATs and tests but because I was so lazy and she always cheated, she was higher in my class rank
I was tutoring a girl in my physics class junior year of high school. Had to teach her why 1 + 1/2 =3/2. Drew her pictures and everything, she took notes.
This girl some how was our saludictorian, which makes me feel like the dumb seeing I was ranked below her.
This one girl back when I was a senior in high school. She adamantly insisted that the past tense of the word bleed is bleeded. She even got a friend of hers to back her up on it. To this day she still insists that it's bleeded. And to this day I still think someone should throw a dictionary at her head.
I went to college with a girl who took about 10 minutes to understand that the American Revolution and the War of Independence were the same thing. Again this was in COLLEGE not elementary school
I met a girl who was about 7 years younger who argued with me over whether or not "Hurt" was a Johnny Cash song or a Nine Inch Nails song for about 20 minutes. After I finally got her to admit that MAYBE he didn't do the song first she said to me, "Wait, was Johnny Cash a real person?" Probably not the dumbest person I've ever met, but definitely stands out as one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
After watching a video on ancient greece in class : how did they film that war all the way back then?"... dead serious. The class and teacher were astounded.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just some quotes I've heard around my school. They are some pretty intelligent things I pick up while walking around school.
"Where are Native Americans from?"
"We should call my mom and pretend that we got kidnapped. Tell her we are in a white van and don't know what to do."
"What's the difference between pants and shorts.. Like, they're still pants."
"That's 3 dollars in American money."
"So Jewish people celebrate April Fools day in March?"
"Hemroids are like mini meatballs from your ass."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Went to uni with this girl - cute and adorable. She was studying science with me, but goddamn some of the dumb shit she said over the years...
"I don't know why people do chemistry... Why believe in something that you can't see?"
I thought she was joking - clearly wasn't. And she was a devout Catholic.
"I hate reading".
Now don't get me wrong, nothing wrong about not having a passion for books, but the way she said was that she came across as proud of the fact. Crazy.
The thing though was, if I called her out on it - she'd get mad and upset, and I'd look like a dick. So I just left it. The last time I talked to her, was on FB, she deleted and blocked me after that. :(
A guy I know believes that dual roles in old movies were actually played by two different actors who happened to look exactly like each other because we didn't have the technology back then to make them appear on screen at the same time.
My best friends sister once asked me "How do deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs?" I was totally floored and couldn't even answer her. It was a serious question, too.
High school chemistry, lab partner is dumb as a box of rocks. In a HCL lab, she pours some on her hand, and immediately sticks hand in mouth. Lab accident reports suck.
I knew a guy who told me that "Modern Warfare 2 (video game published in 2009) has better graphics than Black Ops 2 (video game published in 2012) because the title says its MODERN". He was being dead serious. This was just one of the not-so-smart things he said.
Doremo · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When explaining the antenna television I grew up with to my wife (then girlfriend) I said:
"It works just like the radio, the signal come in through waves in the air."
To which she replied: "Wait, so you only get sound?"
Went to uni with a guy that had grown up on a farm and was doing a biology degree that females have three openings between their legs not two. The degree of stupid needed to have actively avoided that information was incredible!
The kid in my photography class this year that was presenting his powerpoint, and his opening line was "He was born at the age of ten in the country of Paris". I am indeed in high school. It actually went downhill from there.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:15:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Told a girl in hs biology that if you were conceived through anal sex you were born with an outy belly button. She didn't believe me so she then asked the teacher. While the teacher was trying to wrap her head around the question the girl blurted out that it wasn't true because she would of been pregnant by now......
Saphro · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roommate sat down and argued with me and my other roommate about why NASA is a useless waste of the American budget. His reasoning ranged from: "Why would humans ever want to live on another planet?", "The works is sustaining our population just fine!", "The governments will never let the world population to get past 5 billion!", "20 billion dollars is like half of our year budget! Why the fuck are we giving NASA half the budget!", to "No one will ever agree to leave the planet!".
We showed him numbers and articles that proved him wrong and he still didn't believe us. Even about the population. He didn't seem to understand that population gross exponentially. Hell, he didn't know what exponentially was! We're in college and he graduates in two months.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my printmaking class (this is in college, mind you) who did a screen print of the Eiffel Tower (that happened to be a rip-off of someone else's stylization of the Eiffel Tower) and it turned out she didn't even know where the Eiffel Tower is. "Wait, isn't it in New York?" Another girl says "No, I can't even believe you just asked that." So the dumb girl goes "What's the one in New York then?"
We didn't know if she was thinking of the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building or maybe even the Eiffel Tower that's in Vegas.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"dumb things people in art school say" could be a thread of its own...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:48:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I mean, she had an infinite plethora of stupid, misinformed shit to say, but i think the highlight was the time that she was absolutely adamant in telling the class that weed cures schizophrenia.
like, my whole class was immediately like, "what... no..." Which then turned into "... are you... are you actually fucking serious?"
This sparked a debate between the teacher and class which lasted for an hour before one of my classmates silently stood up, walked to the front of the class and googled it on her computer which was connected to a smart board. After google flawed her opinion, she was simply like, "oh that's right! it causes schizophrenia! oops!"
Bitch was so fucking dumb but so overqualified that the school simply couldn't fire her because they couldn't replace her.
abcwjl · 1 points · Posted at 13:21:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister: "I thought nostalgia was a posh medical word for a blocked nose"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:24:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I toured UT Knoxville's campus in 2001, I asked an employee for directions back to the interstate, and she said something like "Go here and turn left, blah, blah, wait...I meant turn right. Sorry, I ain't too good with my left and right." At that moment, I knew I would not be attending that university.
A kid that I work with at a fast food hot dog shoppe asked us once, "What do you guys think is a better job, a physical therapist or an assistant to a physical therapist?"
Later that night when the dishwasher put her break in she told us she wanted just a burger bun with cheese. Chris wasn't getting it so I said make a cheeseburger without the burger. He said okay and the first thing he did was put a burger on the grill.
In Ecology we were learning about food webs, and in particular we were learning about the food that deer eat. This guy asks the teacher "Miss, what do you mean by grass?". Needless to say, a brick has more potential than him.
A girl that was in my class back in elementary school.
It was the beginning of the school year, and we had just finished a geography test. It was just a simple test, we just had to name the capitals of the provinces/territories of Canada.
We found out that she put Tokyo as the capital of Alberta.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommate... dear god I wish I would have wrote down the dumb shit she used to say but just one example:
While sending a bill "The back of this envelope says 'Don't forget to enclose your check' so like, that means I have to sign the back of the check I'm sending right?"
"No..."
"Oh well what does it mean then?"
"IT MEANS DON'T FORGET TO PUT THE FUCKING CHECK INSIDE THE ENVELOPE BEFORE YOU SEAL IT!"
"Oh haha, well that's dumb!"
blank stare
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He worried about parachutists hurting themselves when they hit clouds.
Refused to believe Iceland was a country and not just a chain foodstore until he landed there for a stopover.
Not sure if he had to be convinced that planes wouldn't be damaged by he clouds.
A girl in my world history class asked "Wait so Jews are like the black people of europe? Do they do thuggin like us in the america?"
Also asked such hits like "I don't understand, how cannot a black irish be black. MR.__________ I DONT UNDERSTAND"
"So -2+2 is -4 right?"
"Why are all muslims so mean, can't they just chill and be like tupac?"
"DUH, WE HAVE NEVER LOST IN ANYTHING, EVEN OUR GPA IS HIGHER THAN THE PEOPLE IN THOSE SHIT COUNTRIES" (she was referring to america never losing anything, ever)
I remember asking a girl what weighs more, 1 kg of iron or 1 kg of feathers. She replied with 1 kg of iron and I told here why it was wrong, but she didn't believe me, so I went through the whole joke again, step by step (three times), but she still doesn't believe me to this day.
One time, in Grade 12 AP Chemistry, we were going over molar mass. We were reviewing every element, and their molar mass. When the teacher stated the molar mass of water was 18, a student asked; "what's the molar mass of Ice"?.
Girl who works at my grandmothers pharmacy ... "Giraffes and rhinos aren't real"
Me, "why do you think this"
her "have you ever seen a giraffe or rhino in real life?"
Me, "yes, at the Nashville zoo, haven't you been there before?"
her "well... yea but the animals at the zoo are fake like dinosaurs, duh, if a giraffe was real it's neck would break and everyone knows rhinos are cow versions of unicorns"
mind you in her world im the dumb one because I don't believe in jesus christ
she's really sweet though ... and that counts in that town(1 stoplight total ... it blinks caution)
Co-worker in her 20s who couldn't string together a coherent sentence and needed to have everything even remotely technical repeated countless times. Couldn't pull out of the parking lot without hitting and seriously damaging other coworkers car. She had been hired for phone sales even though she knew nothing about the product (very detailed knowledge needed, that even the newish owner didn't know or understand) but had worked customer service before. The rest of us wondered how many drugs she had taken for how long to get to that state of being.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
During science in 8th grade I sat next to this really stupid girl who was kind of an asshole. One day she asked me what ethnicity I was and I told her I was Asian American. She asked me if I was born in Asia and I replied yes, I was born in japan. At that point she decides to blurt out "OH SO YOUR JAPANESE NOT ASIAN"
Back in my junior year of high school, an ex-girlfriend stated with supreme confidence that the civil war was like a game to the South, since all of its troops were used to hunting and fishing.
Before you ask, no, she was not hot. We've since gone our separate ways; I've gone to college, she's gone nowhere.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:01:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably my redneck neighbors.
Coburg · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my year 11 science class asked the teacher if she held coal long enough would it turn into a diamond.
Whilst nowhere near the dumbest person I've ever met, I did know a girl who was incredibly smart when it came to subjects taught in school (off doing a masters in chemistry now, probably on to a PhD knowing her) and the like, but... not so hot when it came to real life.
The icing on the cake came when she said one day her sister was incredibly stupid- she didn't know where the Great Wall of China was. We all laughed, and we asked where she thought it was. "China".
"No, where did your sister think it was?" "That's what she said. China. God, she's so stupid."
Mildly stunned silence, before someone asked "Where do you think it is, then?"
Turns out she mixed up Hadrian's wall and the Great Wall, mixing up where each one was. God only knows how she thought a Roman Emperor ended up in China. Or, indeed, how she missed the word China in the name of the Great Wall of China. It took us half an hour to convince her.
jajg · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some dumbass in college (yes college) was giving a presentation on birth control and protection from STD's. His conclusion was "so as you can see, girls being on the pill is the only 100% proven method to not get an STD"...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Context is key here, the senior law partner I work for. Guy is third in line to the throne, a named senior partner, for a law firm with 10 offices nation wide. He is a nice guy, but completely glib and slow. He never understands legal concepts that are important to our cases, and shies away from anything that seems difficult.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was in school. This particular week we had graduation tests, and every day was a new subject. The first day was English. There was a sign outside the door that said "MONDAY: ENGLISH ect..." Also, every student got an email stating the schedule for the week. On top of that, we all got a phone call from the school and they told us the schedule once again. So I'm at my desk and some girl walks in and pulls out a calculator. The teacher tells her she doesn't need a calculator, and the girl says "Oh, right, I'm sorry. I forgot you guys supply us with calculators for the math test." To which the teacher replies "No, you don't need it because today is English..." She didn't believe the teacher. How do you miss an email, a phone call, and a giant sign outside the door?
My stepmom. She isn't dumb, exactly. Sometimes she just has major lapses in basic knowledge. It baffles me the things she forgets sometimes.
For example:
"Yeah, shisa808, the color orange is made by mixing red and... red and..."
At this point, I'm horrified that she could forget something this simple and am waiting for her to work it out by herself, but she can't.
"...Yellow???"
"Yeah yellow!" continues conversation like it was nothing...
And this also happened:
"When a song is paused and you want it to play again you press the button with the... uh... uh..."
She's air-drawing the triangle "play" button shape.
"...rectangle!!" facepalm "It's a triangle..."
Girl on my college course says some really dumb things sometimes and I just stare at her in amazement when she says them because it's shocking how dumb some of it is.
Only one I can remember at the moment is how she is completely convinced that Macklemore is gay because of his single, Same Love. I told her he isn't, he has a girlfriend and yet she wouldn't believe me and firmly told me that he is in fact gay. I didn't bother to correct her again out of fear she'd smack me for telling her she is wrong.
buCk- · 1 points · Posted at 14:15:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend telling me and a girl that a guy a few years older than us had been in an accident and had been decapitated. Without hesitation she says, "Oh my god NOO that's like so sad. Do they know if he's going to be ok?" Such a horrible horrible time to burst out laughing.
I dated a black girl who thought Theodore Roosevelt was black. she had said things like this in the past, and my friends were about to tear into her, so I immediately pointed to everyone in the room and said "shut the fuck up!... babe, why is it that you think he is black?" her response: "Theodore is a black name" (this is after Obama, the first black president was elected mind you) needless to say we did not last long.
Girl in my 8th grade English class: The teacher was talking about tuna at one point and she screams at the top of her lungs "WAIT tuna is a FISH?!" Apparently she saw "chicken of the sea" as the slogan and took it to heart.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Definitely a girl who was my colleague who actually believed that there was some celebrity yogi who was 200 years old and looked like he was 65. I was like... whaaaat?
Granted this was in kindergarten but relevant as the stupidest statement I have ever heard:
"There are no numbers past 100. If there were, then teacher would have put them on the number chart."
This girl in my high school seriously asked in class when we were talking about native Americans "where is native America?". I didn't even know how to respond
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:30:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A women that I worked with in a restaurant years ago. Her husband had left her and she was forced to work for the first time in her life. I was trying to teach her how to operate the dishwasher, which is simply a matter of pulling down a lever, waiting about a minute, then pulling it back up. While you're waiting, empty out the clean tray of dishes and prep the next tray.
She just couldn't figure out how it should work and would freak out constantly. Of all of the jobs I've had in my life, so far it was probably the easiest and most relaxing. When I was done a shift, that dish pit was the cleanest part of the restaurant. When she was done, it was like a nuclear bomb went off.
Girl asked me one time in high school if the headphone jack on an MP3 player was a small speaker. "I should be able to hear it without headphones, right?"
Told her to put it to her ear and let me know what she discovered.
Her-"I think I can hear it!"
Me- "try turning it up"
Her- "good idea!" volume up "It's still really quiet though"
The girl I hanged out with everyday back in the elementary school. In geography class she was standing in front of the map looking for the sea that's surrounding Switzerland.
A redittor told me that they were fat because vegetables are too expensive and impossible to grow without special training. Actually it's so easy a caveman did it.
I swear this will forever be ingrained in my memory.
In 5th grade we had assigned state projects, one of the girls in my class got the state of Washington and when she presented things she ended it with "and I know Washington D.C. is located there but I couldn't find any maps that showed where." Even at the age of 10/11 I was completely shocked.
A ditz girl who used to come to our college parties. One night at a party, the intellectual discussion turned to drunk driving. She blurts over us "It's better to drink WHILE driving, than to drink AND THEN drive!". She was dead serious. We recited that quote for months!
Technically yes, given the same amount of alcohol, if you drink it while driving some of it won't hit you until after you're probably done driving. From the perspective of safety, not legality.
agero · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
back in secondary school we were watching a black and white movie and this girls asks "was everything black and white in the past".
This kid I knew thought that the lower your IQ was, the smarter you are. I asked what his IQ is and he told me it was forty. I said "Oh, I understand you thinking that if your IQ is 40."
I gave up near the end of high school and took a basic english class to get my last credit. After getting a 98% on my final grade the teacher wrote "You did not try very hard and should not have been in this class"
Anyways the rest of the class was SUPPOSED to be there based on the intelligent questions they asked during class.
My favorite was "Mrs White what's a See-oh?"
"Pardon? a See-oh?"
"yeah it says right here he was the See-Oh of the company"
~sigh~ "It's a C.E.O. something tells me it's not a term you will really have to worry about when you graduate"
I loved that class.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I went to high school with came to class with a glowing red triangle on her chest just above her cleavage. She told us it was a burn from her iron. My algebra teacher asked how she burnt her chest of all places; she lifted her hands explaining how she didn't have time to pull out the ironing board, so she just ironed her shirt while it was on.
My teacher looked at her with that "oh honey.." Look then turned back to the board and started the lesson. We laughed at her for a while...
Teiiri · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So I had this girl in my class that thought that you'd get a tan from sitting next to a campfire. Her explanation? "The sun is fire, and a campfire is fire too, so you should get a tan from that!"
Me and my friend in class tried to argue with her, but she just wouldn't listen. Just, fuck. Yesshewasblond.
Roommate last semester.
She once told her boyfriend she needed his credit card after asking to use his car because,"if a cop stops me, I can show him your credit card as proof that you let me use your car." That didn't work.
While watching an interesting episode of Bones,"Death in the saddle," she walked into the living room and saw the part where a bunch of men are being led by dominatrix women as they neighed trotted around. She's a psychology major so she said, "that's what I wanna do when I graduate."
Another time, she mistook the oven directions to a crappy <$1 frozen pizza for the microwaving directions and microwaved the poor thing for 10 minutes into a black,rock-hard inedible saucer. She then proceeded to eat it while I held my laughter back.
To top it all off, she called the RA on me because we had a mutual friend (minor) over drinking and then texted another mutual friend telling her she did it specifically to get me in trouble. That also did not work.
Shortly after my wife and I got married, we went on vacation with her family. I convinced my then-college student sister-in-law that the state of Iowa had no capital city.
My brother-in-law still has not let this go 9 years later.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:24:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A coworker of mine. This girl has been here several years and still asks for help doing parts of her job that are very basic. She often has to ask people that are much newer than she is.
She has no idea how to minimize a window on the computer, despite several of us showing her how to, multiple times.
She repeats EVERYTHING and only talks about herself, so talking to her is the most mind numbing experience. I talked to her yesterday and she says she watched Fight Club for the second time the other day, and she just realized that Brad Pitt's character wasn't a real person.
She gets confused so easily. I dumb down everything I say to the best of my ability and she still gets confused.
She'll truncate sentences wierdly, when she's talking to customers. We're supposed to get shoes for our customers, and she'll often just ask, "what size shoe?" Instead of, for example, what I say: "hey, what size shoe do you wear?"
She CANNOT make changes. To anything. Ever. This woman has worn the same makeup and hairstyle as long as I've known her, about 2 years. Everything she does is exactly the same as she's done it before.
Worst part is, she's a lazy, mean person. It's super obvious too, since she's not very bright, but she thinks she's getting away with it all the time.
She drives me fucking NUTS!! I'd be able to deal with it if she was just dumb, but she's mean on top of it, and very judgmental. Everything is black and white to her and she has no original thoughts.
Ugghhhhh, venting is nice
Ioseb · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I'm not so good with writing with letters."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The girl in my college history class (300-level) who was serious when she asked our professor, "Who was president when Richard Nixon resigned?"
worked with a girl at a golf course, she was one of the pretty faces that sells drinks out on the course, one customer asked for a hotdog so she goes to the clubhouse to grab a hotdog and bring it to him, without a bun. her explanation was "he didnt ask for a bun just a hot dog" in hindsight i should have just let her go and deliver the wiener to the customer...she would have learned quick
In high school, in my US History class, a girl asked what the stars on the United States flag represented and another asked if Nixon was our president.
I knew a girl who thought the American revolution was fought between the Americans and the colonists. She was an American and we had just spent the last month in our history class learning about it.
My ex-fiance. I could go on and on about it, but I think it's a tie between the time I convinced her that the minionese in Despicable Me was a legitimate language that had been lost for centuries or the time she tried to give away the ending of Remember Me by saying over and over that Robert Pattinson was on the "50th floor of a building."
This girl in 6th grade didn't know if the city we lived in was a city or state, not knowing that city is in a state. Dumb teacher got mad at me for not teaching her myself.
A girl in my chemistry class, she thought the moon was closer to New York than Florida. Her argument simply; "we can see the moon, we can't see Florida".
I would say 75 percent of everyone I ever worked with.
em1793 · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roommate. Who didn't know what area 51 was until I told her.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I tutor football players for one of the powerhouse universities in the south. I was helping one of the offensive linemen in remedial math, he couldn't solve X+0=2, solve for X....this is a fucking college student with a free ride
We had just had a class on North Korea, whether they had nukes, what they were doing to their prisoners, we even got to see a diagram of how their borders look like (barbed wire, mines, guards with rifles, etc.). And this one girl in class raises her hand and asks
We had a friend in high school that we convinced ice had calories. She was obsessed with her weight and didnt eat ice for a year or two.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid in my elementary school was convinced that clones and twins shared their consciousness. In other words, they would feel each others pain and both would die if only one of them was stabbed in the heart.
We argued about it for hours . He just couldn't wrap his head around the possibility of two people who look exactly the same having separate experiences.
in class today we were learning about the holocaust and genocide etc. so about five minutes ago a girl decides to ask " Are Jews still alive?" to which the teacher replies "yes there are about such and such million in the world today" the girl then says "oh is there any at this school?" teacher then answers the question with "i'm sure there's one with the 2000 kids at our school" the girl finally says "Oh i bet the has a big ol' party when Hilter (yes, Hilter) died." .
I explained to a girl that 1000 was a third of 3000. She didn't get it. I asked if you she knew that 1 was a third of 3 and yes she did. But could not get that 1000 was a third of 3000. I worked in an assembly line, that god that is over.
Had a girl in an International Relations university course declare that the Afghanistan War had claimed more lives than all of WWII. She wouldn't drop it until a bunch of us, including the tutor, kept listing casualty figures and cities that were destroyed.
Someone was trying to sell my wife something over the phone, i heard her say "At least robin hood had the decency to wear a mask while he was robbing you..."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:44:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
a friend last night asked me if piranhas were snakes or spiders
My brother-in-law got a 14 on the ACT. Hard working guy but really dumb.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:50:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Stuff that makes me want to punch babies.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had to teach a guy that had been working as a framer for 10 years how to properly read a tape measure. He knew what an inch was and what a half inch was. Beyond that he had no idea and just rounded. It was painful trying to explain it.
"1/4 is half of a half"
"but...no 4 is double 2 how can it be half?"
"because it's a fraction of a whole. If you have 1 inch being the whole number and you break it down into 4 piecs, two of those 4 pieces, or 1/4, will make up half or 1/2. Same goes for 1/8"
"but how can there be 8 inches in an inch it doesn't make any sense"
"...not 8 inches in an inch, 8 pieces in an inch"
"but you just said there were 4 pieces in an inch"
jld2k6 · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At my buddies birthday bonfire a friend of a friend showed up and was saying the most ridiculous things to try and impress the ladies. At one point he said "I'm all about stem cells; make your shit grow big." My buddy and I both heard this and I don't think we have laughed that hard since.
I feel like a lot of these are about girls so here is the dumbest guy I ever met. We work together and I was talking to another coworker about the show "cosmos" coming back on tv and we were both really excited. He comes up and he said "I really don't like that science stuff, they just make it all up" I asked him what he meant and his reasoning was that science is all fake because none of it existed 200 years ago so how can anything in science be real, it's all people making stuff up to try and sound smart and fool us all into believing them. I tried to explain to him about how they try and prove everything in science wrong over and over again and that "theories" in science don't mean just ideas people have. But he still to this day says science is all made up.
Yesterday he told me that he believes the government puts plastic in our snow and it's the reason for this bad winter we just had and he learned this from some video on
Facebook. Yet I'm still the gullible dumb one for believing in science.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:54:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Stupid people making themselves feel better by talking about someone even more stupid.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:47:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
hey we didn't invent the internet, Al Gore did, or was it Al Bundy?
A girl in my Geography class thought Leicester (UK, where we live) was an island. To save you googling it, it's not an island, it's in the Midlands.
Oh and there was a girl in my advanced level modern history class who said totally seriously 'Why do people get so offended at that bent cross thing?' and pointed to the SWASTIKA in our textbook. She also came out with things like 'my sister told me that Hitler didn't do the Holocaust' 'Hitler wasn't such a bad guy cause he didn't even know about the Jews'. She left pretty quickly.
I and an acquaintance of mine were working on applying multiple simple electronic circuits on a breadboard in Uni,since they were just examples they gave us illustrative figures on how things look like connected on the board and in normal circuit diagram....
So the circuit diagram was labeled fig x.2 and on the opposite page the bread board connection diagram ,which needless to say looked completely different, was labeled fig x.3...yup you saw it coming,I spent almost a good 15 minutes trying to convince him they still can be the same circuit,"but they have different numbers" he said.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In highschool i convinced a girl that pineapples came from the sea, i provided a picture of a pineapple fish as proof, the only reason she realized i was lying was the giggles of the rest of the class.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to everyone's favorite Canadian coffee joint, Jim Borton's.
The cashier was wearing rubber gloves and taking orders. She takes my money, digs around in the cash drawer, gives me my change.
She then starts picking my donuts out of their bins. I stop her and ask if she could use the wax paper to grab my donuts. She says, 'Oh, it's ok, i'm wearing gloves :)'.
TL:DR- Woman is invincibly clean as long as she has her gloves. Can count to potato.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Do atoms breathe? They're living things, so don't they have to breathe?"
yeah. This girl went to U of M and got a nursing degree.
This girl in my AP World History class sophomore year of high school constantly said some of the most absurd crap imaginable. For example, she once asked "Why didn't they give the Chinese dynasties names that are easier to pronounce?"
Then there was this guy in my chemistry class the same year who refused to accept that the sun is a star, that stars have mass, and that stars are really far away. Basically, he had all the same opinions about astronomy that most people had around 2000 years ago.
Probably my boyfriend's sister. She is a recovering drug addict who spent a handful of years in jail. She is now out and clean, but damn, this girl is not the brightest crayon in the box. Every time she posts anything on Facebook I just cringe. She can't spell (and not just substituting "u" for "you"), her understanding of simple comncepts just astounds me. But as he said the other day when I made a small comment of his sister's spelling giving me a headache: You can't expect someone who has never prioritized learning (she dropped out of HS because of the drugs) to suddenly care about it in her 20s".
Had class with the most annoying girl. She would get attention from the professor and then formulated her thoughts after the floor was yielded to her.
She literally silenced the class when she referred to South Africans as African Americans. Several people in the class tried to gently correct her and she kept continuing with her thought until the teacher interrupted her and blatantly told her she was wrong.
There was a girl who had recently moved to Ontario from Arizona, she was a nice girl just really really dumb. Our group of friends were having a heated argument about Canada vs America and she says "what ever, you guys steal all of your culture from us" so we asked her for an example and she said "I dont know, John Lennon and The Beatles"
eZico · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my World History class thought that Hitler was just a fictional character told in stories. When she asked out loud, "Hitler is real?!" the whole class went silent and the teacher was just giving her the "bitch, you serious?!" look.
One of my best friends unfortunately was raised by hyper protective parents so no internet, no TV, and as such very weird thoughts that we had to correct. "To survive in a shipwreck, you have to go to the bottom of the ocean, push up on the floor, and go back up to the surface: it makes you breathe less and keep your energy instead of swimming at the surface." "Blowjobs, yeah my mom does that all the time, she has to blow all the leaves from the sidewalk!" "Wasn't Hitler just trying to save his people from the invasion of aliens?"
At a bonfire with some friends. Girls in the grade below us are invited. One asks, "Can gasoline burn by itself? I always thought that if you put gas on wood or paper it only burnt because of the wood or paper."
Trying to hold back laughter I answer, "Yes gas can burn by itself."
"So you're telling me, if you threw a match into a puddle of gas it would light on fire?"
I couldn't hold back the laughter any longer. Then I got called a jerk because it wasn't a "stupid question"
A girl in high school didn't understand what the 3rd world is..."I thought we all lived in one world." Also, she asked if people lived on sun spots. At least she was hot.
soupz · 1 points · Posted at 16:15:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ohhh... this girl at a party probably. She was so extremely stupid that she didn't notice everyone was appalled by her stupidity and also stupid enough to think she was actually smart. I still felt a tiny bit bad when I really insulted her by accident. She was again saying some complete shit when someone questioned her logic and corrected her and she replied with "Oh, of course I know that. I'm obviously not dumb!". I just blurted out "Yeah...!" and couldn't hold back my laugh. Everyone else started laughing again. I had never received such an evil death stare before.
I have a good friend who is becoming a vegan for more ethical reasons and due to lactose intolerance. Though I admire her commitment to her own ethical guidelines (I also have a brother who is vegan upon his own ethical guidelines), I cannot help but think that she is making her life far more difficult for herself than necessary as now she needs to take supplements for various vitamins, which is far less enjoyable than actual consumption. To be honest, she frustrates me a bit because she is one of the types that would disparage the idea of being exposed to "chemicals." I say this only in quotes because chemicals are found in everything and though I get that she is talking about synthetic compounds, they are not necessarily all harmful. Hence, I get a bit frustrated when she talks about food and nutrition, or gets ridiculously into the self-promotion of her own lifestyle.
Is she the dumbest? No, by far she is incredibly bright and has a lot of vigor in studying, but her opinions and some of her cluelessness as to the effect of her words frustrates the heck out of me.
Theres a girl I know through a good friend of mine. She loves attention and will do almost anything for people to comment on her posts. One day she posted a 'status' saying, "I kind of want to try heroin :)" (She's innocent and comes from a good family). Needless to say I deleted her on Facebook that instant in spite of her raw stupidity.
Dawiii · 1 points · Posted at 16:19:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Upon discovering I'm Polish
"Is Poland somewhere in England?"
My 9th grade biology teacher asked my class, "What were the first organisms on earth." Recently, we had learned the answer to this. This girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. Her answer to his question was, "Dinosaurs." She's far from the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
in middle school there was, in one of my classes, lets call her kaykay, and she is by far the dumbest person that I have ever encountered. while we were learning the name, position, and capitals of the states in America, on the day of the final test it was her job to come up to the white board and point out where Florida, Washington, and Tennessee fall on the map.
so kaykay points out washington, not to hard because that is the state we live in, next comes florida, the dumb bitch points to Oregon. the teacher says that she is wrong, but she argues with the teacher for 15 minutes saying that Florida is below Washington. the teacher ended this conversation by face-palming and ignoring her. her big problem was that she was always right. and if someone disagreed with what she said no mater right or wrong she was a colossal bitch.
A girl in separate class asked their teacher "where does the moon go when it goes down"?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:26:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brothers girlfriend. She thought Eskimos were mythological creatures but unicorns were real. She also thought you sat on stools at shows because seating areas are called stalls.
ppp24 · 1 points · Posted at 16:27:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A Malaysian asked a foreigner this, "if you're a Muslim, how come you can't speak Malay?"
This has been years ago before cell phones were common. My next door neighbor woman didn't have a phone and came over asking to borrow mine so she could call and check on her ailing uncle. After a lengthy conversation I asked if her uncle was ok. She said yes and informed me that he was in the hospital recuperating after having to have an ovary removed. She was completely serious.
A girl in my chemistry said, "Why would you want to put warm water on a fire, wouldn't that make it worse?" After she learned we had warm water in the safety shower.
A girl in my history class asked, "Didn't Hitler kill Jesus?" She was dead serious.
There is some serious stupid where I live.
I was sitting in the back seat of a car, listening to the two Southerners in the front seat having a conversation.
Ben: If a pond doesn't have a stream leading into it, how do all of the fish get there?
Carrie: I think it's when tadpoles grow up. Once they get to a certain age, they have to decide if they want to become frogs or fish. Then the fish stay and the frogs hop away to spread more tadpoles.
Health class
"So like, if you have sex after you're pregnant, that's how you have twins right?"
And then from the same girl,
"If you're pregnant, and you get ran over, the baby can be pushed out and then possibly be fine, right?"
Also heres my stupid testing question: "What's the role of the third (bottom) prong on an outlet?" It's common shit to know and you should feel bad for not knowing it.
Let me see. There was a girl I knew in high school who was a member of the preppy cheerleader clique. You know the type; blond hair with expensive highlights, perky boobs, had a sports car in the parking lot (With the dealer plates still on it. If you don't know what that means, just ask me.), always dating a different jock every week, etc. Anyways, she insisted that Africa was a country, not a continent, and that Nelson Mandela was its king. And she thought that Antarctica and the Arctic were the same thing, and that polar bears ate penguins. She also confessed to thinking that if one of her boyfriends came in her, then she could immediately go out and have sex with another guy so she wouldn't get pregnant. She honestly thought that sperm from two different men would cancel each other out. She also thought that credit cards were literally free money and didn't understand the concept of debt. Well, she managed to graduate high school with all C's because she flirted with nerds and got them to do all her homework, and yet she got a full ride through college because of some obscure athletics scholarship (aka, Daddy paid for it all).
And then there was my friend back in high school that thought "facepalm" meant running up and smacking someone on the forehead a la "Coulda had a V8." He wasn't dumb --in fact he was a physics student-- he was just ignorant of the truth.
EDIT: Oh! How could I forget about Monster Guy! There was a guy in my old community college who seriously believed in monsters and stuff. Now I'm a bit of a hypocrite; I like to think that there are some mysteries left in the world, and I indulge heavily in the fantasy genre. But this guy was absolutely convinced that monsters were totally real, and the government was trying to cover them up, or that the government was controlled by those very monsters! He liked to show me youtube videos of supposed monsters and stuff, and after a polite while, it became my mission to gently debunk his crazy and stupid theories. "No, I don't think that's a chupacabra, I think it's a coyote with mange." "That's not a blob monster, I think it's a decayed alligator. See the skull?" "I'm pretty sure that's not a demon skeleton on display. It looks more like folk art. See how the ribs and the wings are made of aluminum?" "Nope, doesn't look like an alien to me. It looks like someone photoshopped the creature from Extro onto a different background." And so on. Eventually he caught on that I didn't really believe him or his wild theories, and then he accused me of being a government agent out to get him. And the absolute best part? He had a clean bill of psychological health! He wasn't insane at all, he was just an idiot that believed in insane things.
Friend in jr./sr. high grew up crazy, like in motels, never had a stove. One day my mom asked her if she wanted to make a cake while I was at work. She told her to add 2 eggs. Friend asked what does she use to poke hole in egg? She also asked if you put butter on the bread before you put in it the toaster.
A friend of mine was looking for a picture online. She found the image but it was not large enough. She then proceeded to zoom in until the picture was large enough and then copied it, pasted it on her work and then yelled "stupid computer" when it did not turn out how she expected.
My buddy Kazden isn't very sharp, but he did something yesterday that ascended to a new level. We had to write a research paper for school, and his was a frankenstein of plagiarism from different scientific articles. Not only was it obviously written in a style far above his level, but I SHIT YOU NOT, at the end of every paragraph he included a link to his "source" because we were required to cite sources.
He plagiarized every paragraph, and at the end of each plagiarized paragraph he included a handy link to where he copied it from.
My ex thought that once a girl gave birth to a baby, her vagina stayed the size of the baby head.
Also I once had an entire room of people convinced I made up the animal red panda because no one had heard of it.
I hope this gets seen, but there's a ton of comments already so whatever.
In my US history class last semester our professor was talking about Lincoln and his Emancipation Proclamation and one girl asked why they didn't film it.
Probably too late for this, but a girl from my high school thought that you could get leather from a cow without killing it. She knew that leather was the hide too, but for some reason thought it could survive without it.
A girl who was 16 who was actually quite intelligent said "what's an orgasm?". The whole class laughed at her for the rest of the year before she left for college.
Also a girl at my college thought Prince George's first name was Prince.
I dated a girl for a while who has probably earned a mention here.
We were in a car and she was driving. There was a sign that said something like "WARNING: Deaf child in the area." I told her to honk her horn. She seemed confused. I said "Didn't you see the sign? Honk your horn so the deaf child can hear you coming." So she starts leaning on her horn as we drive through this quiet suburban neighborhood at about 10:00pm. She finally stops when she seems me laughing like an idiot. She keeps saying "what? what? What's so funny?" I say, "don't you get it? Honk your horn so the deaf child can hear you coming?"
A minute passes.
"Oh, I get it. You're an asshole. There is no deaf child is there?"
A guy who went by the name of 'Ovens'. Don't ask me why. He snorted a spaghetti hoop, brought Microwaveable meals to a festival and decided, when sleeping in the back of a car, to push the front car seat so far back that it crushed him. Easily the biggest idiot I've encountered to date.
This girl I worked with was asked to do a deep clean of a food stand. It included a slushy machine hooked up to multiple boxes of slushy mixture underneath the cart. She thought she had to clean the machine out so she put a garbage bag underneath the nozzle and pulled so slushy came out and filled the bag. Now obviously the machine would just refill itself but this girl was so dumb she didn't realise and just kept filling bags of slushy. She filled like 10 giant bags worth and never once wondered why the machine tank (which is pretty small, like smaller than a single garbage bag) never emptied. A team leader noticed her dragging bags of slushy to the bins because of the huge trails it left as the bags aren't 100% waterproof and stopped her. We like to think she would have carried on until every box was emptied which is equivalent to about 500 litres of wasted slushy.
College: that whole thing of having to wait 10 minutes for a professor if he/she is late or 20 minutes for a doctor. I had a professor from Turkey that had an accent.
After 10 minutes, this annoying girl says "that's it, time to leave"
Me: "he's a doctor, you need to wait longer"
Girl: "how can he be a doctor, he can hardly speak English"
Dgeiger · 1 points · Posted at 17:01:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
In civil rights, we were going over a quick review of the end of slavery and one kid thought slavery existed until WWII when black people helped to fight and earned their freedom. It's hard to believe these people exist. Different friend tried to argue that Australia was continent and not a country.
She is LDS. Nothing wrong with that particular religion. I've known many others of that faith, and some of them are quite bright. But this seems to be the basis for everything wrong with her.
1) She seems to embody the philosophy of the husband is always right, no matter what. He wants to sit on his ass and not work? Ok, she works two jobs and sells her plasma for extra spending money. Their son is introverted so he is not obligated to go get a job or earn anything towards living expenses because he still lives with them. Their daughter on the other hand, is paying her own way through college.
2) She really liked an outfit that someone at work had on. They got it out of a catalogue, so brought that in so she could see what other clothes were in it. There happened to be an ad for sex toys it in. She stated that she would not support a company that breaks down the moral fiber of our country.
3) Her husband wrote a letter to the editor about homosexuality. She has been ranting (in support of her husband) about how sex is for reproduction only. We all have been stating that some who are done having kids are still having sex, even though they don't want more kids. And then there's the couple that are in relationships, and livong together but aren't married. Her views on the world are limiting her acceptance of others.
4) Her daughter went on one date, and she started picking out wedding dresses for her, and checking availability for venues (temple for LDS ceremony, and other place for non-LDS ceremony).
Xamius · 2 points · Posted at 21:24:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know if she's the dumbest person, but I was genuinely shocked when I was chatting with my old hairdresser about my vacation last year and she didn't know what/where the following things were: Denmark, Copenhagen, Germany, narwhales, amber, Toronto.
Really the only thing that genuinely baffled me was the narwhale bit. I pulled up pictures of a narwhale on my phone in the middle of the salon. The rest I just attributed to not paying attention in geography class.
Friend of mine has had a few. She's quite intelligent, but sometimes speaks quicker than she thinks.
"I haven't even been 21 for a year yet!"
After being interupted several times in asking, because they saw where she was going, finally got to ask "does friday the 13th ever fall on halloween?". Every friday the 13th she gets a "happy halloween" now.
Girl in geography class pointed to the full world map poster and asked "what countries are on other side." Playing it off as a joke didn't work well. She flowered into the loose-Lucy we all knew she could be by junior year.
I had study hall with this girl who would constantly eat twixes. Like 4+ everyday during study hall. She was very skinny. One day I told her she was going to get fat. Her response (I'm going to attempt to type this in local Tennessee vernacular) "Tweexes don't make you fayyyet. Coooach Stowe, (teacher) do Tweexes make you fayyyet?" The look on his face was utter disbelief. He simply said no. She is big as hell today.
_Bones · 1 points · Posted at 17:21:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I knew in HS once asked "Do rocks grow?" And no, she wasn't talking about crystals.
Se also had to write a note to my sister as part of an assignment, in which she spelled blonde "blound" and made so many grammatical and spelling errors that to this day my sister can recite the entire note from memory. her mother was the English teacher, too.
My former roommate was fun, and the dumbest person I've ever met. I should have known when I was moving in and she asked one of my friends in all seriousness, "What are pliers?" She was afraid of the VCR. Her TV had spots in the corners due to the fact that there were two honking big speakers right next to it and she refused to even try moving the speakers away from it because speakers don't have magnets and was stupid for thinking so. She was obsessed with a minor celebrity, and could bring any and all conversations back to him. Car broke down? Minor Celebrity's car broke down once! Hungry? Minor Celebrity's likes to eat potato chips! It sounds minor, but it was constant. Her cat was named after Minor Celebrity and when she accidentally got pregnant so was her kid. There's more, but I can't think of them at the moment.
pbt3 · 1 points · Posted at 17:22:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy once told me that you can stop the bus. Just find a position near the back of the bus, put your hands on the walls and push with all your might. He's in civil engineering.
I used to be a manager at a catering company. The owner hired a woman in her 50s who was not too bright. She set her hair on fire while lighting Sternos (cans of gel fuel used to keep food hot in chafing dishes). I hear a shriek and turned around to see a coworker beating this idiot in the head with a dish towel to put the fire out. Another time I asked her to scrub the lime scale deposits off the steam table. She tells me it won't come off. I told her to use some elbow grease. She then asked me where we kept the elbow grease.
Once I was walking through the street and this hobo walked up to me and asked if I was a wizard who could talk to animals. He then asked me for some change and told me to go away.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:35:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A dude I met during security work at a festival. I believe he had good intentions and was a good kid. But my god, he was dumb as rocks and associated with the wrong crowd.
Anyways me and a friend of mine tried to explain a simple joke to him. The joke only works in dutch, so that won't work. But it took us 15 minutes and we didn't succeed.
A dude I met during security work at a festival. I believe he had good intentions and was a good kid. But my god, he was dumb as rocks and associated with the wrong crowd.
Anyways me and a friend of mine tried to explain a simple joke to him. The joke only works in dutch, so that won't work. But it took us 15 minutes and we didn't succeed.
God love her but this girl in my highschool history class. I convinced her in 5 minutes that there is a bridge going from California to Hawaii called the transAtlantic bridge. (Yes Atlantic) And that only native Americans are allowed to live in Oklahoma.
My history teacher used to joke with us all the time. One day he told us his mother left him as soon as she found out she was pregnant with him.
A girl in the class believed the story. She gasped and said "that's so awful!" In cases like that there's nothing to do but laugh.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:50:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just the other day we did an activity in class where we had to put certain historical figures into one of four categories. The four categories were determined by a survey we took. Some of the historical figures included George Washington, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Harriet Tubman, etc. This one girl asks my professor, "Did all of these people take the survey?". She was completely serious and had no idea why half the class facepalmed and the other half were laughing.
Another girl asked my Global History teacher in high school if Venice was in Venezuela. You know, because they kind of sound similar....
Had Maths class today when a lower school student was sent in for being disruptive. When my teacher asked her why she wasn't working she said she didn't understand the work. The response from my teacher was something along the lines of "How can't you do it, you're only counting negative numbers?" She was at least 12-13
Girl who I graduated high school with, just a few things she said during senior year:
"Wait... Asia isn't a country?"
"Wait, are black people black because they have lead in their skin? GUYS! It must be! Thats why they can't swim!"
My ex. Let's say his name is Andy. We lived together (regrettably) whilst we were dating and I owned a super cheap fiber-optic lamp. Just a little black base with a bunch of fibers sticking out of it, ya know, it can change colors, blah blah. Well he says to me one day that he went to Office Depot looking for new light bulbs for this lamp. I said "But Andy it's working fine. It's on right now." He responded with "Well some of the little light bulbs are out. They're not changing colors." Andy thought there were teeny, tiny little light bulbs at the end of each and every one of the fibers on this lamp. I had to explain that there was a kink in some of the fibers so the light FROM THE ONE BULB IN THE BASE could not travel to the end making it appear darkened. I can only imagine what the Office Depot employee was thinking when this moron showed up looking for 1/2mm small bulbs...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kid named tyrik who sits next to me in chemistry. Not a prime example of stupitidy but one day in class I heard munching when I looked over tyrik was eating my lunch.
Former friend in high school:
We live in Texas. She says, "I only thought stars (in the sky) were in the country."
Her logic: Since stars are more visible in the country (less populated and fewer night lights), she assumed that there are only stars in the country side, not in the city.
A new kid from Arizona came out to my school in Massachusetts. At one of our football pasta parties, he asked Liam (kid from Arizona) if there was a moon in Arizona.
Hiro, a transfer from Japan got asked, "Does it snow in Japan". This was by a sophomore in highschool....
I had a roommate in college. Body like a god, mind like a rock. I spent most of that year explaining the most basic shit to him to help him in classes. But the dumbest thing ever… he was going on a date, pretty common, he was beautiful. As he rides his bike across the street, against the light, he gets hit, thrown over the hood and puts his head through the windshield. The driver jumps out and helps him off the hood. Desperate, he asks if he can take him anywhere. My roommate looks at his totaled bike and says, I was going on a date, can you drop me off there.
He tells us the next morning with a sly grin on his face like he got away with something, and my other roommates and I start yelling at him to go to the ER. He refuses and then calls his father to tell him the story of how he got away with wrecking a guy’s car and then got laid. We could hear his father through the receiver two rooms away yelling at him to go to the ER.
In my world history class we were going over the continents. I was so bored because I though everyone knew this. I was wrong. As I was drifting off to sleep and my attention was grabbed by this one comment. "No there are 8 continents. You forgot China." I looked up at the girl who had said this and told her, "China is part of Asia." She couldn't get that through her head, and she belligerently argued with everyone in the class and the teacher.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:38:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE have asked my adopted Korean brother, "Are you Chinese or Asian?"
Working at alfy's pizza in the NW in highschool . A pretty girl, a year younger than me, got hired to work the counter.
Customer: what's the soup of the day (salad bar)
Pretty girl: uuuh, mine-strone, and the chicken noodle is out-of-order.
She got pissed when the customer laughed In Her face. She came to me cause our older brothers were friends, and I was the only person she knew well.
I explained to her that
A: it's pronounced min-a-stro-nay
B: soup does not go "out of order" we reserve that for the broken steering wheel on "OFF ROAD" in the arcade room.
guy I worked with once said, "If I could be any dinosaur, I'd be a rhinoceros."
Other guy said, "Rhinos aren't dinosaurs", to which dummy replied, "Not a rhino, a rhinoceros." He was referring to a triceratops.
This one retarded kid at my school who was so mentally handicapped that they had to strap him to a dolly or he would just beat the shit out of himself and other people. Like smacking his head full force into a solid wooden door retarded.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:23:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really dont think people such as him should be able to go to the same school as non disabled people.
People on this site. Baseline mensa folk. Top comment for example, that guy is stupider than the person he was insulting.
Firstly, lacking knowledge on any given thing is not an evidence of a lack of intelligence. The retention of knowledge has no, and I mean zero, relevance to intelligence.
And that is why a baseline mensa person is stupider than a person considered to have average intelligence. Their perspectives are virtually negligible, but the difference is the person considered average does not perceive himself to be intelligent. Whereas the baseline mensa person erroneously considers himself to be smart. And comically, because there is very little difference in the way of actual intelligence, they usually believe so because of a greater amount of information retained. Which is comical because that is one of the biggest indicators of a lack of intelligence.
So yeah. The primary demographic of the reddit community are the stupidest people in existence.
I went on a date with a girl named Christine, we were talking about abuse in relationships and got to the topic of her ex-boyfriend, she told me "No he wasn't abusive, he just kind of yelled at me sometimes". Granted verbal abuse probably doesn't click in a lot of people's minds. She then continued with "Well like he hit me sometimes too, but he wasn't like... abusive".
Watching Mean Girls with a friend of mine when we were in high school. It gets to the bit where they're talking about how stupid Karen is. Damien says 'she asked me how to spell orange'. My friend turns to me with a dead serious look on her face and asks 'how DO you spell orange?'.
I went to high school with two girls which were cousins, one was school smart and the other was trashcan smart (aka she's dumb as a fucking piece of trash.) Anyhow our teacher told us to write our name in the margin and school-smart says "what's a margin?" and trashcan says "I think it's like butter!" and everyone had a braincell commit suicide for being in their presence. Keep in mind we were all 17/18 year olds...
A classmate in my middle school history class on 3/14, "You spelled pie wrong." She even knew what day it was and all of the math teachers were teaching about pi that month.
I was in a upper level history class on Asian history and there were some education majors in the class due to some cultural requirement. We were watching The Last Emperor, and the girl raises her hand and goes, "So they all speak English in China?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:05:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay, I'm not calling my mom dumb but she thought that Hawaiian natives were Asian because their eyes looked similar. Then she tried to say that Japanese people could have immigrated to Hawaii a thousand years ago and that would have explained the similarities.
The girl who asked me the difference between even and odd numbers.
She also thought she couldn't get pregnant unless she had an orgasm.
She was in her 20s.
My high school English teacher, seeing the picture of Kurt Vonnegut on the back of my copy of Breakfast of Champions: "Hey, that guy's picture is in our English book!"
Or my roommate during my freshman year of college, on the phone with her dad: "Dad, what's capitalism?"
This kid in some of my classes is an absolute dumbass. He said that "if the reformation schools (for Native Americans during the 1800's) made the indians wear certain clothes and act a certain way and have a set schedules, then they're basically concentration camps. And catholic schools are the same way aren't they? So aren't catholic schools basically concentration camps?" And, he thinks Native American culture doesn't exist because he's never seen a Native American.
One of my friends is an engineer and has a good job but he has no general knowledge. Dumbest thing I've heard him say during cards against humanity: "Auschwitz? what is that?" and "Genghis Kahn? I don't know what that is either."
We were learning about mont saint-michel in France and the teacher said something strange happens when the water rises over there. Some girl asked if Mon saint-michel was a boat and would go of in sea.
My mom once told me "Even Hitler could have gone to heaven if he asked for forgiveness. No matter the deed everyone can enjoy eternal happiness" she helped me realize religion wasn't my cup of tea and heaven must be filled with very interesting characters
I once convinced my ex girlfriend (Who lived like 100 meters from me) To go outside and wave up in the sky, so I could see her on Google earth. She did it. I was sitting at my house, watching her, laughing my fucking ass off. (In her defense she's not actually stupid, but gullible.)
A girl I knew in high school managed to pull off all of these in one marking period of bio:
called me [first name] [my father's first name] [last name] because she assumed my father's name was my middle name... EDIT: I'm female, so she was basically screaming "Homigod Amanda Joseph!"
screamed "ewmygod are those PEOPLE LIVERS?" during a "calves liver enzyme lab".
And my personal favorite - a guy answered a somewhat tricky question correctly, surprising the teacher causing him to jokingly call the kid a genius. The girl, seated behind him, pipes up "duh, of course he's a genius, its written all over his pants!" The room went almost slient as ~20 people shifted in their seats to see his pants
I work in the PC repair business. A coworker of mine: "I don't have the software to play youtube videos" "Whats Napster" "how do you restore the OS' "what's wiffle ball"
Then there are others "I self-diagnosed my son with asbergers". That same woman told me "My daughter comes home after visiting her dad and cries for days. It's completely normal for a girl her age"
I also dated a porn star that told me the only reason she does it, was to be able to provide to her daughter. That's fine and all, but if she wouldn't spend $200-$300 A FUCKING week on sex toys, then she'd have money for her daughter.
I took a girl on a date, and one of the things we did was see "Romeo and Juliet." Intermission came at the end of act 3, after the wedding scene. When the lights came up for the act break, she said, "That was great. Wanna go get dinner?"
We were reading out loud a Greek play in 9th grade, different people reading different parts. This kid gets to the word "Zeus", stumbles around for a couple seconds and then blurts out "Z-z-z-...Jesus". I promptly lost my shit and was told to sit outside until I could control myself again.
27 year old person, and my mother is still the stupidest person I have ever met in my life. She is a diagnosed narcissist who thinks she is perfect too. Life is pain princess.
mw 'oww i got something in my eye' him 'oo you should take an aspirin' me ' no like theres a scratch on my eye or an eyelash can you see anything' him ' like take a few aspirin' me 'i don't need medication i need to get something out of my eye' him ' well maybe try an advil... or some shrooms!' ...
Girl in my Christian youth group spent a good 20 minutes trying to make hell sound like a good place. Her argument was that if your friends went to hell then you would be around your friends and can talk and stuff. That was really the only point she had, and the youth pastor kept trying to explain that hell isn't some cave filled with little red guys with pitch forks, it's a realm of eternal suffering and communication between 2 souls is most likely impossible, but she wasn't getting it. I guess some people don't really get the concept of hell and think it really is a fiery underground place with little demons poking you in the butt, and not that the true nature of hell is incomprehensible.
Also a girl in elementary school thought that Monday was the first day of the week. Not too bad but she continued to get the entire class convinced that Monday was the first day of the week because that's the first day of the school week.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:34:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
An interpretation of the hell in Christianity isn't accurate if it is pleasurable. I know we can all interpret it our own ways because it is incomprehensible, however seeing it as a place that's "not so bad" and claiming to be a Christian (which she was doing) is irrational.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 17:47:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend who was into metal used to say he wanted to go to Hell because then he could party with metal bands and drink JD all day. He thought heaven would be all straight laced and boring.
Then my christian friend would try to explain that for him heaven would be like a metal concert and hell would actually be like sitting round knitting or whatever.
Such a dumb conversation, from two otherwise intelligent people. So it doesn't really fit the thread but the above comment just reminded me.
[deleted] · -3 points · Posted at 01:13:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in one of my classes back in high school thought that Pablo Picasso designed the lighthouse of Alexandria
My ex boyfriend once told me (a brown-eyed girl) he'd know I was cheating if we had a kid come out with blue eyes. He already thought I was always cheating anyway so I didn't bother to further "incriminate" myself by explaining to him how dominant and recessive traits work. (Basically, brown eyes are dominant so if I did fuck a blue eyed guy behind his back, the kid would come out brown eyed anyway cuz blue eyes are recessive. SCIENCE, BITCH!)
gimily · 3 points · Posted at 04:53:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not if ur heterozygous for brown eyes, in which case u could pass on a trait for blue eyes and have a blue eyed kid if ur mate had blue eyes, thats why kids can have natural blonde hair even if one of their parents has brown hair etc.
Unless your eyes genotype is Bb (Brown showing, blue present) if you had a child with a blue-eyed guy (bb) then it's possible that you'd get a blue-eyed child. (Bbxbb has two possible results: Bb (Brown showing, blue present) and bb (blue).
Be careful with that, ahem, "science". Four of my six kids have blue eyes like their mom. I have brown eyes. Pretty sure she's their real mom.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 00:59:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Raccoo · 0 points · Posted at 01:42:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
David, who believes that Hitler and Ghandi were friends.
He frequently talks into the wrong end of his iPhone
Also he can not take any social ques, like picking up on the energy of a room, he'd be the one to tell a horribly offensive racist joke during the eulogy of a funeral. He's like a lost puppy, but goddamn if isn't one of my best friends.
It was dumb because it had just occurred to her at the end of high school. It was a basic fact that everyone else in the class understood many years prior.
Umm. Generale, you sire are grammatically challenged. Its Who's ( as in who is not the whose you are so much in in love with. That one is a possessive pronoun. Do you know of individuals who own dumb people?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:15:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 03:17:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
girl in my science class in high-school once told us that smoke was flammable, and that we close the doors during fire drills so that 'the fire doesn't get out'.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:03:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats candle smoke. The reason a candle works is (I believe, feel free to correct me) the wax when gaseous is flammable. So in reality, he is able to relight it because there are still fumes. I wouldn't believe wood smoke to be flammable....otherwise I'm the idiot and she's the genius..
I think most smoke is flammable given the right conditions. Smoke, as far as I'm aware, is the product of incomplete combustion. If the fuel were being perfectly burnt there would be no visible smoke, only CO2, NOxes etc
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:04:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my coworkers. He was told that he shouldn't be in his major by his grad school advisors. He failed his internship/whatever it's called because he didn't do his job well. He's still in grad school. He also doesn't have any common sense. It's so aggravating.
There was a girl in my AP english class who spent 30 minutes up in front of the class describing the method holepunchers use to destroy the circle of paper. Like eliminated from existance with no waste. At one point she said it was fire or lasers that burned the paper. And then spent the rest of the time hole punching paper and going "see? It just vanishes!" She was like a 5, so she didn't have much going for her
For one. since you said push the button again. We can assume he either presses the button or holds it down. holding the button down can actually be faster then the reboot button because windows needs to unload a lot of stuff before safe shutdown.
There is actually a faster way than just pressing the restart button if you don't want to force shutdown. If you hold down shift and then press restart it will do a hot-reboot. Keeping the hardware on and skipping things like the bios screen. It just unloads and reloads windows.
So it might sound like something stupid but there is a valid answer to it :)
I may be late to this party, but I definitely have an entry into this one.
We were in class last year and my teacher starts talking about 3D printers, and how you can print whole objects e.t.c. One girl raises her hand and asks, "But sir, wouldn't we need 3D glasses to see them?"
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:45:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl that asked me how to make icecubes. She had the tray in her hand and was standing next to the fridge.
After half an hour she went to check and they where not "finished" ie frozen yet. I told her she must have made a mistake and try again.
The dumbest people I ever met were a large group of people queuing for a Sarah Palin book signing outside a Barnes & Nobel in sub-zero deathly wind chill conditions. I just had to go see it for myself. Like a car crash you can't turn away from.
A co-worker of mine once told me that pigs don't have blood... which is why they're the "other" white meat. They don't have blood so their meat tends to be lighter in color.
We (me and two others) had a half an hour conversation with my ex where he believed that two portions of 3/4 a cup of water (1.5 cups) poured into one bowl was not the same as one portion of 1 whole cup and one portion of 1/2 a cup (also 1.5 cups) poured into one bowl.
He started that he understood that the amount of water was the same, but that the former form of measurement was actually considered 2 cups, but only because it was cut differently despite having the same mass and volume.
He also would purposely wear his break pads down and then not change them, because clearly the metal base stops the car better if it's metal-on-metal, cause they're both really hard.
Or how about the time he said making water run up hill is easy, all you need to do is add air to it cause 'air floats because gravity doesn't effect it, so if you add air, it'll be gravity proof'.
I am a teachers assistant in a 9th grade class and this one girl had her moment.
school experiences a blackout
Girl: uhm..if we had a blackout, why aren't the ipads shut off? Aren't they technology too?
i met a guy who said that it was a woman's responsibility to get out of an abusive relationship and that if she didn't get out of it for the sake of her children then SHE was "JUST AS BAD" as her husband who was abusing her.
The girl I'm sticking it in thought that because she was traveling north on the train that she was travelling uphill, thought Jerusalem is in Germany, told me to stop making stuff up when listing the planets in our solar system, Didn't know that Madagascar is in fact real and a bunch of other stuff that makes me question how she is a Uni student studying forensic science.
MYSELF. I THOUGHT MY ACID IN MY STOMACH IS TOO STRONG FOR NORMAL FOOD SO I OFTEN FELT STARVING AN HOUR AFTER MEAL. AS A RESULT, IVE BEEN EATING A BAR OF CRAYON EVERY DAY SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. AND I HAVE THE COURAGE TO POST THIS!!
High school, during biology the pretty blonde. Typical type stuff. 3 absolute gems stand out in my mind.
Out of no where in the middle of the "work quietly section" she pips up with a question for the teacher. "sir? What's a whale?" no context given after that.
2 . Towards the end of one week teacher says " since you've all been pretty awesome this week, I'll show you how to make ice blocks with liquid nitrogen! You can choose a flavour and all!" she pipes up with " i want vanilla!" without missing a beat. Teacher and the rest of us are like "soo, plain water?"
Teacher just finishes explaining why and how semen has sugar in it. She sticks up her hand and says " but sir, why doesn't it taste sweet?" teacher replies without hesitation "because you taste sweet things with the tip of your tongue." she couldn't get why the rest of the class was laughing.
Couple years out of high school i run into her again. Shed working as a topless waitress at a pub. Shed very embarrassed but knows ive spotted her, so comes over for a chat.
Me:"Hey..... Nice to see you got a job, at least its something."
Her:"Yeah! My dad owns the pub and said it was perfect for me!"
So her dad had to give her a job in his own pub as a topless waitress.. Kinda sad really.
Many years ago when working for a share registrars, I managed to convince two of the office's 16 year old temps that I had lost both of my nipples in a horrible mountain biking accident.
Anytime they asked to see them, I would refuse on the grounds that I was self conscious about the scars on my now nipple-less chest.
Managed to keep that particular charade going for 9 months. They were not smart girls.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 15:45:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Conversation with my ex.
Her: What's this pillow made of?
Me: Duck down.
Her: What?
Me: Duck down!
Her (proceeds to squat in the middle of the living room): What? (As she's giggling...clearly confused)
I proceeded to lose my shit for 20 minutes.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 16:11:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Her name is Abigail and she is a cashier at the store I work at. Only 17 but she smokes so much pot I think half of her brain cells are gone. As her supervisor, I'll ask her to do a simple task and I am met with the worlds most blank stare. You can just tell that there is absolutely nothing going on in there.
-eDgAR- · -2 points · Posted at 02:27:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my closests friends up until 8th grade, who was actually pretty intelligent, but threw all his potential away by dropping out of high school and getting involved in gangs and drugs.
xxxni · -3 points · Posted at 03:24:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bitched asked, "when was 9/11" in civics also didn't know Obamas first name, it pisses me off because she thinks she's rite sometimes and tries to argue it lol
CAGOCHI · -4 points · Posted at 04:15:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
whose*
h4tt0ri · -2 points · Posted at 09:21:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am sorry but how are we not supposed to be judgmental and stereotypical when almost every post here is starting with "There was this girl..." :D :D
Gurtol · -4 points · Posted at 09:28:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl who was in my year at school reached the age of 8 and stopped growing both mentally and physically. We once showed her a picture of Hitler in history class and convinced her it was David Beckham.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:55:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That wasn't very nice.
Gurtol · 1 points · Posted at 18:33:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I probably worded that badly. There was nothing wrong with her. She just looked very young and was extremely stupid
Saved comment
didujustcthat · 490 points · Posted at 14:48:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my school was using a calculator on a test and typed in the math problem in wrong she then proceeded to type syntax error as an answer.
racer4 · 186 points · Posted at 00:14:04 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems." - Andy Dwyer
ScreamSalvation · 21 points · Posted at 15:49:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If this was recently I wouldn't be very surprised. Teach IT based classes at a local community college and have students that will type a command in a command line wrong and think that the error is their answer.
They will continue to do this for a whole lab or until I notice what they are doing and try to turn in a 20 question assignment with each answer as the equivalent of "Syntax error"
SarcasmKing23 · 15 points · Posted at 04:30:44 on June 30, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I had an experience like that with a girl who said she couldn't do 890+689 on a calculator this is how the conversation went....
Me: You need help?
Her: No, this is a problem that cant be done on the calculator
Me: Why not?
Her: well I was searching for a while and I can't find the 890 or the 689 key on the calculator.
(This is the same girl who on the first of geometry and said "One of my friends told me that geometry is something you say when you turn into a tree) Gee-I'm-A-Tree
CaigeSpade · 6 points · Posted at 15:03:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one is great
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:06:36 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can't even.
Shireling · 1182 points · Posted at 03:48:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in high school a guy named Kevin was arguing with me, and anyone who would listen, saying that STD's are prevented by having sex. After about a minute of explaining to him what STD meant I decided to just say "let's agree to disagree." But he didn't let it go. He pulled out a $50 bill from his wallet and bet me that he was right. After he looked it up the crowd mentality forced him to pay up.
Tl;dr dumb high school student bet me $50 that std's are prevented by having sex.
Elemont · 666 points · Posted at 19:10:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And the legend of Kevin continues, stay classy Kevin
IBeAPotato · 15 points · Posted at 02:52:03 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
From now on, any and all situations in funny and crazy stories will revolve around Kevin.
MailBoxD · 17 points · Posted at 19:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did we go meta ? Yes , it seems we are meta . Good job everybody!
carleesi · 6 points · Posted at 08:55:24 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
After reading this topic, one thing's for sure. I won't be naming my future son Kevin.
Itsmekevin7 · 3 points · Posted at 02:42:59 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
Always
[deleted] · 333 points · Posted at 11:45:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
you actually got the 50 ? noice
EDIT: Here lads, I actually do pronounce nice like that, not misspelled. pleaseeee
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 15:45:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's like Christmas mornin'!
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 11:40:21 on September 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Snipin's a good job, mate.
Taemgas · 14 points · Posted at 14:46:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
NOICE
NWboarder · 4 points · Posted at 15:14:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Noice!
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 16:21:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Noiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccceee!
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 20:39:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
jmerridew124 · 2 points · Posted at 18:28:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
SPLOICERS!
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:00:24 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those Damn Sploicers.
wildevidence · 5 points · Posted at 19:39:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
$50 bill covered in STDs. Kevin: 1 OP: 0.
WANTS_TO_BE_SMART · 6 points · Posted at 23:23:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I too enjoy saying noice.
SqeeSqee · 5 points · Posted at 14:34:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey man. You new around here? Look, you're welcome to stick around but you can't say that. Its my thing.
krokodilchik · 2 points · Posted at 23:04:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For the people downvoting you, who I assume have not had the overwhelming pleasure of seeing the skit you're referencing, here's Key&Peele! http://youtube.com/watch?v=rQnYi3z56RE
Suhbula · 1 points · Posted at 22:12:44 on May 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
So fucking good.
Comrade63 · 1 points · Posted at 18:43:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nooooiiiiiiccceee
Le_Deek · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Drew?
demostravius · 1 points · Posted at 21:53:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, but not all words are spelt phonetically.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:22:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
mine r!
thisshortenough · 1 points · Posted at 00:42:44 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you Irish by any chance?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:41:36 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
nah, but living here for months now and pretty much adapted to the irish way with words.
notabumblebee44283 · 1 points · Posted at 01:22:33 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
They aren't trying to correct you, it's a Key & Peele skit.
mynewaccount42 · 1 points · Posted at 23:08:21 on June 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
I snorted an entire redbull and the motherfucker still hasn't given me my money. That dude is incredibly lucky.
I_Went_Okay · 45 points · Posted at 12:43:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin basically made the worst attempt ever to have sex with you.
teakwood54 · 10 points · Posted at 13:01:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And then even tried paying for it!
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 18:58:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sexually Terminated Disease
My god... he's right.
austin3i62 · 15 points · Posted at 19:12:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It appears people named Kevin have a pretty high chance of being retarded.
Kids_On_Coffee · 15 points · Posted at 14:59:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuckin' Kevin.
infowin · 13 points · Posted at 15:25:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We Need to Talk About Kevin
DammitDan · 13 points · Posted at 19:14:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Crayolas, not even once.
Insanelopez · 9 points · Posted at 14:00:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm telling you, Jennifer, sex prevents pregnancy! How else do you explain the married couples that have sex every night but can't have babies?
SAS_Britain · 5 points · Posted at 19:42:29 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holy hell first he eats crayons and calls a coach a bitch, then this?! Kevin is dumb, like really fucking dumb.
AlwaysClassyNvrGassy · 7 points · Posted at 00:45:30 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is there any chance it was the same Kevin as the other post in this thread? Please say yes please say yes please say yes
CerebrumLavabit · 5 points · Posted at 13:14:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What was his logic?
Mordisquitos · 12 points · Posted at 15:35:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll bet he reached that conclusion after misinterpreting advice on condoms.
1: Using condoms prevents STDs.
2: Condoms are only used to have sex.
Therefore, having sex prevents STDs.
CerebrumLavabit · 5 points · Posted at 15:40:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh... That make sense, and $50 ain't much for that lesson.
Coffeezilla · 1 points · Posted at 05:32:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, they're prevented by having sex with people who don't have them...but he's a fucking idiot.
stickflip · 1 points · Posted at 12:22:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you get the money? Or was he stubborn and didn't give you the money?
Shireling · 3 points · Posted at 12:53:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I got the money. He tried to refuse, but when you make a bet like that in front of ten other people it's hard to refuse.
WhiskeyCup · 1 points · Posted at 12:42:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Justice boner.
everyonegrababroom · 1 points · Posted at 18:11:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sexually truncated diseases.
flosstradamusss · 1 points · Posted at 18:16:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
shit brah u done did good
LG250 · 1 points · Posted at 18:43:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A fool and his money are soon parted.
SilverTides · 1 points · Posted at 19:42:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well no wonder, that's classic Kevin!
dannyrat · 1 points · Posted at 19:51:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Kevin is the perfect name for stupid people.
Obi-Sam_Kenobi · 1 points · Posted at 20:06:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
All these Kevins...
Tyrannical_Rek · 1 points · Posted at 20:45:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Could it be the same Kevin from top post?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:28:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha! I like how another Kevin was an idiot above. That Kevin was really named something else though...
pollyd16 · 1 points · Posted at 22:15:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm finding a pattern in this thread. Kevin's don't seem to be the brightest pack in the bunch.
KroniK907 · 1 points · Posted at 22:19:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is this THE Kevin???
Datblock · 1 points · Posted at 19:21:19 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Accidentally meta
narangutang · 1 points · Posted at 14:13:25 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
KEVIN?!
SamuraiDDD · 1 points · Posted at 04:37:58 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Best money you ever won :)?
shieldvexor · 1 points · Posted at 23:34:26 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I bet a girl in high school $50 that fish are animals but she never paid me :(
Shireling · 1 points · Posted at 02:36:21 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
How am I still getting responses to this?
KiloChild · 0 points · Posted at 17:51:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you got your money back. Some dumb bitch still won't pay me for the bet she lost back in 2006. She owed me five more dollars every week she didn't pay me back.
redditopus · -1 points · Posted at 15:49:23 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
A high school kid had $50 in his wallet?
[deleted] · 1375 points · Posted at 01:24:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My psych class. One girl asked "Is eye color a behavior?".
Not really stupid, more wtf, but she also said she wanted to have a pet baby. Not wanting a pet, or a baby. A pet baby human.
[deleted] · 1544 points · Posted at 08:57:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Butthole__Pleasures · 463 points · Posted at 11:09:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is hair a sport?
comedic-meltdown · 42 points · Posted at 11:18:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is banana an equation?
LadyWidebottom · 20 points · Posted at 11:27:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How do I get into this psych class with the rest of you?
KQouyHCF · 15 points · Posted at 11:47:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Does rocks float on lava?
Epicghostrider · 3 points · Posted at 13:04:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People like grapes.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:00:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's like a car that's in the air.
chronotopia · 3 points · Posted at 15:35:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some lava rocks float on water.
billlampley · 1 points · Posted at 18:37:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually kinda want to know this, but so many variables...
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:49:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
mETH.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 13:06:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is psychology a vegetable?
premature_eulogy · 4 points · Posted at 17:20:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some subfields of psychology study vegetables. Neuropsychology, for example.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 20:20:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They do have beard competitions.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:58:57 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are shoes feet?
klkklk · 1 points · Posted at 02:52:45 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are eyes real?
SentientMediocrity · 0 points · Posted at 21:20:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Does rocks float on lava?
yolibobchris · -1 points · Posted at 14:18:51 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is salad a gender?
Thrust_Kicker · 117 points · Posted at 11:18:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.
[deleted] · 72 points · Posted at 11:36:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
raises hand horse radish is not an instrument either puts hand back down
Crazylittleloon · 19 points · Posted at 12:23:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do instruments of torture count?
Steeva · 5 points · Posted at 14:51:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It all depends on the complexity of the variables.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:08:18 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Average_potato · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do instruments of torture count?
three_left_feet · 1 points · Posted at 15:58:06 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do instruments of torture count?
fafan4 · 2 points · Posted at 11:39:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This has reminded me of the Smashing Pumpkins more than anything else. I'm going to go and listen to Siamese Dream now
peuge_fin · 2 points · Posted at 11:44:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes, yes it is. Instrument of destruction.
geeca · 2 points · Posted at 13:02:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is my dick and instrument? Because your mother was blowing it last night.
TheBoobieBattler · 1 points · Posted at 12:11:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mustard is
ChokeThis · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://www.mayones.com/
Wonderful guitars indeed.
Miniappolis · 1 points · Posted at 12:20:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For us lactose intolerant guys, yeah.
The_Child_of_Atom · 1 points · Posted at 14:25:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
is it a crime to bang a lime?
ZealZen · 1 points · Posted at 15:42:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No patrick...
rctsolid · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holy fuck I can't stop laughing at this
mechanicalocean · 1 points · Posted at 16:20:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Such a great episode.
Zenaxis · 1 points · Posted at 16:55:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can make fart noises with it
MayoFetish · 1 points · Posted at 17:12:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only when I use it.
JonesBee · 1 points · Posted at 18:29:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is getting too Jaden for my comfort.
Mrmrlol · 1 points · Posted at 20:50:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument
world_crusher · 1 points · Posted at 22:19:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not an instrument...
voodoopork · 1 points · Posted at 13:54:05 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mmm... that's some good mayonnaise.
RhythmPrince · 197 points · Posted at 07:35:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did she explain how exactly she would treat this pet baby? Like, what makes it a pet instead of her kid?
cronos844 · 260 points · Posted at 10:59:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We like to use that term to mean slave here in the south.
SHSzilla · 9 points · Posted at 10:15:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It'd be like a court dwarf, except not a dwarf.
milesunderground · 9 points · Posted at 11:26:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pets you can leave in the yard and go see a movie.
Hobo_Massacre · 3 points · Posted at 13:40:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably the baby cage.
Rap15t · 3 points · Posted at 14:25:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Obviously because your drunken best friend tries to flirt with it on Christmas Eve while his girlfriend watched in shock
beaverteeth92 · 180 points · Posted at 05:47:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Class of 1854?
13ig13oss · 5 points · Posted at 18:38:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, 1984.
TheLaugh · 6 points · Posted at 13:08:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think adoption can do that.
Source: Am a pet baby.
realised · 5 points · Posted at 11:45:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those are called niblings. You feed them, play with them, spoil them, cuddle them, and then hand them back!
londonbelow · 5 points · Posted at 18:45:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Relevant to this: In high school I took an Earth Science class. Class started with the teacher asking about common minerals. One girl suggested that Starbucks was a mineral.
Not coffee, STARBUCKS.
ShamelessDistraction · 3 points · Posted at 05:52:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can't you rent those?
xAaaaa · 3 points · Posted at 11:56:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just when you thought it couldn't get worse.
crispybac0n · 3 points · Posted at 12:08:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[10] girl
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:53:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Like get impregnated by a pet to have a baby/pet hybrid. Or like she wanted a Cambodian child on a leash?
Faps_With_Fury · 3 points · Posted at 13:08:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Assuming you're a guy, you should have offered to make a pet baby with her.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 13:24:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Purple's a fruit
ErikHats · 3 points · Posted at 14:28:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man, a human baby seems like an awful pet. Alright, they are cute 10% of the time, but it's 90% a bother. Puppies or kittens seem much better if you want a pet.
bahbahbahbahbah · 5 points · Posted at 12:18:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I assume she meant, "is the perception of color in the eye a learned behavior?" which is actually kind of thought provoking.
notlubglubs · 5 points · Posted at 14:33:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you're giving her too much credit.
mayhawjelly · 2 points · Posted at 12:05:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I call those nieces and nephews.
knoekie · 2 points · Posted at 14:11:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha! I always joke that I want a pet baby too.
I'm at the age (and stable relationship) that I get the question 'don't you want kids?' a lot.. and I always respond with... 'well, I love too.. but only on sunday' :P
nmc9279 · 2 points · Posted at 15:44:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can count to potato.
sublimesting · 2 points · Posted at 16:21:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That isn't dumb it is alien. You should kill her immediately...the invasion has begun!
ImNotSalinger · 2 points · Posted at 16:48:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is that slavery? It sounds like slavery
diddlebutt · 2 points · Posted at 20:19:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like she watched Fantastic Planet and took it literally.
CutsLikeABuffalo333 · 1 points · Posted at 05:04:03 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do you live in Manitoba...?
tamethewild · 1 points · Posted at 02:06:06 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
i can see it making sense when linking gene expreessions with cell behaviors, a word mix up yes, but expressions and behaviors are often colloquially closely linked
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:15:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
premature_eulogy · 5 points · Posted at 10:42:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Your son has blue eyes because you have reinforced blue-eyed behaviour"
I feel like it's a good thing the Nazis didn't think like this.
NoahtheRed · 17817 points · Posted at 15:06:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:
Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.
smalltowngirl07 · 5978 points · Posted at 15:19:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm torn between "This can not be real!" and "You can't make this shit up!".
NoahtheRed · 4600 points · Posted at 15:32:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin and his world were VERY real. He was simultaneously everything wrong and everything right with the world. He was a testament to the fact that anyone can do anything.
Last I heard, he wanted to join the Air Force.
jamin_brook · 1141 points · Posted at 22:39:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
AMA request: Kevin
kilo_foxtrot · 868 points · Posted at 02:55:49 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What if he is HowToBasic on YouTube?
Chesney1995 · 791 points · Posted at 10:53:08 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
HowToBasic is just Kevin giving serious guides on how to do stuff.
bobbysq · 412 points · Posted at 18:34:46 on September 16, 2014 · (Permalink)
This would be both awesome and terrifying.
TheMadmanAndre · 290 points · Posted at 17:53:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Considering that it is a successful YouTube channel, he's succeeded in life.
austin101123 · 26 points · Posted at 23:46:26 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't even get how it's successful. It's the same shit video every video, like really what the fuck?
[deleted] · 44 points · Posted at 21:36:16 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's youtube. Youtube's full of retarded kids like Kevin.
[deleted] · 41 points · Posted at 23:12:38 on June 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
It used to be a lot better and unexpected. It slowly turned into repetitive garbage.
austin101123 · -3 points · Posted at 03:47:37 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
After watching one video everything else is boring.
rabidsi · 15 points · Posted at 12:38:28 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know, man. Shit has been going beyond absurdist and into downright disturbing territory lately.
renzantar · 7 points · Posted at 22:50:57 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wh... wha... what did...
renzantar.exe has stopped working
MildlyAgitatedBidoof · 19 points · Posted at 01:53:02 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think it's an eggstraordinary channel.
euginoo · 18 points · Posted at 00:11:09 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
For fucks sake, what the hell is that shat!
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 02:33:40 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am honestly in awe of that channel. I don't think anything so stupid has made me laugh like that in a couple of years. There's a level of genius to it I can't comprehend.
KillTheBronies · 15 points · Posted at 11:42:38 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brought to you by Australia!
This is actually what we do when not being eaten by giant spiders.
stefaneechi · 2 points · Posted at 08:14:47 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
omfg, thanks, that shits awesome!
2_minutes_in_the_box · 2 points · Posted at 17:40:14 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I cannot thank you enough the for amount of laughter that you just squeezed out of me.
jiodjflak · 2 points · Posted at 17:59:46 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank you for introducing this into my life. I have time to waste now.
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 21:23:30 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Howtobasic videos are fucking stupid and disgusting and a waste of food and I don't understand why people like them
PantheraLupus · 14 points · Posted at 09:20:56 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
From what I've gathered, he works at a supermarket and uses expired food that would otherwise end up in the bin.
Redditacious · 7 points · Posted at 05:12:08 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
We think Kevin has been found.
We are pretty sure he is a mod for /r/Ooer
LookAround · 2 points · Posted at 00:25:16 on April 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
my name kevin!!
Dark-Castle · 6532 points · Posted at 19:49:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I think you mean he wanted to be a plane when he grew up.
EDIT: Took me 5 months but I finally got gold! Thanks Friend-O
Bake3822 · 4084 points · Posted at 23:01:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I want to be the Air Force"
ipeeoncats · 2367 points · Posted at 23:37:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Mother, I want to be army."
blarghusmaximus · 1702 points · Posted at 01:17:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My cousin said he wanted to grow up to be a truck. Not a truck driver. A truck.
NihilusOfTheVoid · 981 points · Posted at 01:25:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew this girl in elementary school who said she wanted to be a polar bear when she grew up.
jonnywoh · 1268 points · Posted at 02:31:04 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
At a local elementary school's kindergarten graduation, they played a video where they asked each of the students a few questions. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, one kid answered "A police dog".
calliope720 · 364 points · Posted at 09:54:48 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I heard a young child tell his mother at a 4th of July celebration that when he grew up he wanted to be a firework.
WhyWouldHeLie · 18 points · Posted at 01:23:17 on June 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
That kid grew up to have Katy Perry write a song about him
ToastyRyder · 13 points · Posted at 13:42:09 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That young boy's name: Katy Perry
Heroshade · 12 points · Posted at 03:07:26 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
And this is how we get suicide bombers.
slibismobile · 10 points · Posted at 08:49:11 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's going to be a very disappointing sex life.
Allfredrick · 6 points · Posted at 09:46:24 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Good comment, bad timing
Ghostnineone · 6 points · Posted at 06:08:43 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Blame Katy Perry.
batman262 · 3 points · Posted at 23:39:20 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK!!!!¡
AAA1374 · 3 points · Posted at 21:43:34 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Worked for Katy Perry.
katf1sh · 3 points · Posted at 17:17:50 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
That kid grew up to be Katey Perry
habanero223 · 2 points · Posted at 00:18:10 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to tell people that I wanted to be a bullet. Not a gunman, not a gun, a bullet.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:14:33 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone call Katy Perry
trippingrainbow · 1258 points · Posted at 16:08:09 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
When i was 5 i wanted to be a light pole. I stood on the yard for 2 hours with a flashlight taped to my hat and then it started raining.
Caecilius_est_mendax · 73 points · Posted at 04:14:40 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
The beginnings of Steetlamp Le Moose
[deleted] · 25 points · Posted at 23:53:40 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can't get more meta than that.
JRR_Brolkien · 31 points · Posted at 12:45:15 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dear Kevin-loving Lord, this is the best thing I've ever read. What made you aspire to be a light pole?
flapanther33781 · 62 points · Posted at 10:01:02 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone told him he was really bright.
Jman4647 · 19 points · Posted at 20:06:14 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your ability to make puns really shines sometimes..
trippingrainbow · 22 points · Posted at 12:46:52 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have no idea.
babybelter · 20 points · Posted at 00:40:21 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am a pole and so can you!
Dracosaurus137 · 27 points · Posted at 02:55:45 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your dreams may come true: http://i.imgur.com/7OjtkkX.png
trippingrainbow · 14 points · Posted at 12:23:34 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have gotten three replies today to a really old comment. Is this linked in some post or what?
Dracosaurus137 · 22 points · Posted at 16:40:50 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Somebody linked this in the "What would humanity forget if it left Earth" askreddit thread. Someone's reply was Kevin and most people thought of Home Alone. But someone linked to the Kevin in this thread and many of us kept reading because the entire thread is hilarious.
Natanael_L · 12 points · Posted at 09:57:35 on June 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still smarter than most kids that age.
surragat · 8 points · Posted at 06:25:48 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanna be a flashlight!
librlman · 21 points · Posted at 02:10:11 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
BLB. Wants to grow up to be a flashlight. Goes to prison, becomes a fleshlight.
JonSnowww1 · 7 points · Posted at 22:42:02 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's more of a "Awwww" that "You Brainless stupid bastard get out of the fucking lawn, Idiot"
trippingrainbow · 7 points · Posted at 04:09:55 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
is this linked somewhere again?
CovingtonLane · 4 points · Posted at 23:55:11 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is your name Kevin?
PM_me_yourkittens · 3 points · Posted at 14:55:56 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol why?
trippingrainbow · 11 points · Posted at 14:57:10 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was 5. People do dumb shit as kids.
Heemsah · 6 points · Posted at 09:04:39 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Awww that's too cute
harper_dog · 464 points · Posted at 00:20:20 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a student that was dead serious when he said he wanted to be Scooby Doo when he grew up. Granted, he was 4.
Mordekai99 · 10 points · Posted at 03:01:19 on April 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
You gotta set the bar high.
SmellLikeDogBuns · 258 points · Posted at 02:21:25 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was a kid (girl), I said I wanted to be a male doctor. Even then I knew who had the power...
Eveenus · 21 points · Posted at 07:11:03 on April 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey if you become good enough of a doctor you can become a male doctor
SmellLikeDogBuns · 6 points · Posted at 17:14:53 on April 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Touche.
Artemissister · 21 points · Posted at 16:47:11 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I'm a unitard!"
randomzinger · 9 points · Posted at 13:09:49 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Looooooooong ago the neighborhood kids decided to make our own parade. Some made floats out of their wagons. I was a racecar: I had a baseball bat in either hand, the handles out to the back of me to symbolize exhaust pipes and wore a plastic racing helmet. Pretty sure I was the only one who knew what I was.
2_minutes_in_the_box · 16 points · Posted at 17:36:24 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I snuck out of my crib at the age of just under 2 and proceeded to watch the movie "Halloween". I then spent the next 3 years telling everyone who would listen that I wanted to be Jamie Lee Curtis. Not the character in the movie, but the actual Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm assuming they must have said her name a lot in the commercial breaks.
Elgar17 · 2 points · Posted at 01:14:10 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well it is kindergarten.
TheRapeTrain69 · 3 points · Posted at 09:27:51 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antartica; home of the greatest walruses. I’ve already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus.
Urgullibl · 1 points · Posted at 05:04:13 on August 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fucking furries...
Bseagull · 1 points · Posted at 17:51:00 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm currently picturing Ralph Wiggum with a collar and his dad trying to train him to be a K-9 dog.
DownOnTheUpside · 1 points · Posted at 02:51:03 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
d'aweee
2_minutes_in_the_box · -1 points · Posted at 17:36:32 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I snuck out of my crib at the age of just under 2 and proceeded to watch the movie "Halloween". I then spent the next 3 years telling everyone who would listen that I wanted to be Jamie Lee Curtis. Not the character in the movie, but the actual Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm assuming they must have said her name a lot in the commercial breaks.
BoshBishBash · 2 points · Posted at 19:36:14 on July 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
Most kids would've gotten nightmares watching a horror movie, but you were inspired.
2_minutes_in_the_box · 1 points · Posted at 19:43:12 on July 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a result, I'm pretty much numb to every single movie out there. It's useful yet disappointing.
panda_nectar · 426 points · Posted at 03:37:05 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My little cousin wanted to be Britney Spears. Not a singer or performer, but the actual person. I told her the position has been filled.
[deleted] · 392 points · Posted at 22:02:49 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of the kindergartners my friend teaches said he wanted to be a restaurant when he grew up.
A restaurant.
cuddles_mcfluffy · 6 points · Posted at 19:42:36 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
The commonality with all these comments (unlike Kevin) are the words "elementary", "kindergarten", "young".
panda_nectar · 3 points · Posted at 22:11:26 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's just fantastic.
inanimateobjectfez01 · 2 points · Posted at 03:50:53 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
We can all be inanimate objects!
weirdload · 17 points · Posted at 21:03:31 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Multiple times, in fact.
UrsaPater · 4 points · Posted at 17:47:19 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sure Britney's been filled many times, in many positions.
panda_nectar · 2 points · Posted at 18:08:00 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey can I ask how you came upon this comment? It's quite old and yet I get replies on it about once a week. Just wondering if there's some reason why haha
UrsaPater · 1 points · Posted at 18:11:59 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
no problem. Here's a link to the thread from today that got me to the 5 month old thread:
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2ffy8o/what_has_your_so_done_to_make_you_question_their/
scroll a ways down to a comment by zach2992
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:19:26 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is she like the Dread Pirate Roberts?
panda_nectar · 1 points · Posted at 02:27:34 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know what that is. Also this post is a tad old isn't it?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:30:03 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Princess Bride? I got here through some other threads.
panda_nectar · 2 points · Posted at 02:46:34 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha I actually do that and end up commenting on really old stuff all the time. I've seen that movie but don't know what that is sooo apparently I'm a failure!
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:47:46 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh boy go do that right now >_> I've commented on stuff RIGHT before it gets archived and people wonder what the fuck i'm even doing there lol.
panda_nectar · 2 points · Posted at 03:00:39 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha usually when I go to comment I get told it's already been archived and I see it's from like four years ago
Germanougat · 2 points · Posted at 00:45:31 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be bob the builder in preschool.
sasbot · 103 points · Posted at 04:18:41 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can't be a bear when you grow up!
Paelidore · 1 points · Posted at 07:57:47 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did. D:
BubblestheKhan · 29 points · Posted at 20:37:39 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be a shark when I grew up. Turns out that's a tough field to enter.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 03:51:27 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be a baby elephant. My mom told me I had to take it up with the mother elephant. It didn't go so well, I'm still human.
busstopboxer89 · 6 points · Posted at 23:13:34 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a 24 year old who said he wants to be an interdimensional being.
badguyfedora · 9 points · Posted at 00:46:22 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to want to be a gerbil. Now I want to be a detective.
sgt0pimienta · 9 points · Posted at 20:06:38 on July 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, a girl I knew wanted to be a whale when she grew up.
Years later, she was still in middle school, we remembered one day that she wanted to be a whale, fatness related jokes ensued.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:19:59 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Elementary school is still understandable
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:01:24 on August 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't make fun of polarbearkin you shitlord.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:31:26 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 23:20:14 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be a tiger when I grew up, for a while. When my adult teeth all came in human I understood that this was not going to happen.
I think I was about seven when this realization struck. I still have a very rich and imaginative inner life.
Condomonium · 2 points · Posted at 03:15:47 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew this girl in 6th grade who wanted to be a pole dancer when she grew up. She'd practice by working the tether ball pole during recess.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:43:22 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who used to say she wanted to be a man when she grew up.
Lightylantern · 2 points · Posted at 20:39:19 on September 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's unbearable.
katf1sh · 1 points · Posted at 17:16:06 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be a caterpillar...polar bear is way cooler. Dammit!
Pandaswizzle · 1 points · Posted at 17:42:04 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't lose your dinosaur
Pussykill1999 · 1 points · Posted at 00:57:54 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But that'd still be pretty badass
punkrockscience · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:13 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a good friend (still friends!) whose standard answer to that question was "a giraffe."
Nope__Nope__Nope · 1 points · Posted at 08:19:53 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
and thus, a furry was born..
Blond_Treehorn_Thug · 312 points · Posted at 03:08:50 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I remember in first grade... teacher is asking everyone what they want to be, and one dude says "I want to be a football." The teacher replies, "Surely you mean that you want to be a football player."
"No, Teacher. I want to be the football."
LetsKeepItSFW · 107 points · Posted at 21:33:26 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now that one's creepy...because it's possible.
sunny_bell · 16 points · Posted at 05:01:14 on April 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to school with a girl whose sister wanted to be a teacup noodle
Apparently her teacher then tried to convince her to say something else.
kongu3345 · 8 points · Posted at 14:46:26 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"And don't call me Shirley."
HereticKitsune · 8 points · Posted at 16:47:29 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay I didn't see this comment before, so...
Blitzball*
Delt1232 · 3 points · Posted at 01:59:50 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I want to be a Blitzball.
Stupefactionist · 3 points · Posted at 00:52:41 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Be the ball, Danny."
7-SE7EN-7 · 4 points · Posted at 17:38:14 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was this around the time that monsters inc came out?
Blond_Treehorn_Thug · 8 points · Posted at 19:21:15 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holy crap that question makes me feel old. No it was not. It was about the time that rocky came out
[deleted] · 93 points · Posted at 19:03:41 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is your cousin, by chance, /u/Ask_Me_If_Im_A_Truck?
dylanjrex · 5 points · Posted at 13:47:53 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
/u/ask_me_if_im_a_truck are you a truck?
bastafarise · 3 points · Posted at 04:46:45 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend in kindergarten wanted to grow up to be a tunnel. Yes, tunnel...
Haltgamer · 3 points · Posted at 03:21:21 on August 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, technically, he is a tunnel. Or at least a series of them...
ButtsexEurope · 2 points · Posted at 03:23:28 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
If they're older than 5, that's a sign of schizophrenia.
blarghusmaximus · 2 points · Posted at 03:31:13 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can I ask -- ive had three replies to this post just today and its over two months old... What made you find it? Im so curious why people are replying all of a sudden
ButtsexEurope · 2 points · Posted at 03:34:17 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's a thread that I can't link to because of mobile on askreddit asking "When's the last time you laughed so hard you cried?" And your post was mentioned.
blarghusmaximus · 1 points · Posted at 03:38:31 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aahhh thank you. Wow gotta find that post!
secretly_an_alpaca · 1 points · Posted at 02:36:16 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
We just really like your style, hoss.
MrBig0 · 1 points · Posted at 05:47:56 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know, that's so weird.
blarghusmaximus · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:18 on June 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fistbump
informationmissing · 2 points · Posted at 06:34:54 on June 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did that, only I wanted to be a garbage truck... kids are dumb.
erviniumd · 2 points · Posted at 04:50:35 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted I be a garbage truck when I was younger...
TBBT-Joel · 2 points · Posted at 14:58:57 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
In 1st grade they had one of those parents come to school days, and a guys father was a truck driver. My brother though it was so cool he told everyone my dad was a truck driver... except my dad had 2 PhD's and was a dean of a graduate program at the time. Oh and a terrible driver.
SiNiStEr26 · 2 points · Posted at 21:38:03 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Its not that bad ! I wanted to be a potato (not the "i am going to hell for this" potato but the french fries potato) when I was 3 years old ... But i haven't been able to achieve my dreams.YET!!!
coveritwithgas · 2 points · Posted at 03:39:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Machine Man reference?
ANAL_ANARCHY · 1 points · Posted at 06:05:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What days of the week?
Cheesedud6 · 1 points · Posted at 17:30:23 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be the green Power Ranger. A truck can't be that much different.
Wizardof1000Kings · 1 points · Posted at 21:54:55 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be optimus prime when I was in 1st grade.
moondes · 1 points · Posted at 22:44:36 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Robots in disguise!"
chinchillazilla54 · 1 points · Posted at 20:18:19 on April 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister said she wanted to be a bathtub, but in her defense I think she was two years old at the time.
Geminii27 · 1 points · Posted at 10:47:14 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
If Optimus Prime could do it...
redmustang04 · 1 points · Posted at 20:00:05 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
That depends on how old he is when he said that.
PMmeYOUR_PERSONALITY · 1 points · Posted at 21:42:01 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cody?
Drowned_In_Spaghetti · 1 points · Posted at 04:52:19 on July 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm starting to think my sister wants to be a firetruck, but that's just because whining comes naturally to her.
WEEEEWOOWEEEWOOOWEEWOOO!
TheRealCT · 1 points · Posted at 07:06:05 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
My dad once said as a child that he wanted to be a fire truck, lets just say that now every time I see one I say "look it's dad".
Thats_not_milk · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:24 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's cool, I wanted to be a fire truck. Didn't work out though. :/
Taman_Should · 1 points · Posted at 06:29:34 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Autobots, roll out!
nabhold · 1 points · Posted at 19:31:09 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my 8th grade class said "why can't we just grow sausages on trees?" When we were talking about ending world hunger.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 19:01:34 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Mother, can you please make me into a Navy?"
kbtillich · 2 points · Posted at 16:18:06 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I grow up, I want to be a tractor
Nottan_Asian · 2 points · Posted at 23:28:51 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mother, I am Legion.
SquidMonk3y · 1 points · Posted at 12:17:04 on July 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tanks mater 4 my lyf
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:16:16 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a kid who wanted to be fried chicken lol
Yuizme · -3 points · Posted at 01:36:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I don't think I've ever seen such downvoting proportionally for an Arrested Development reference. You're . . . changing, reddit. [parent comment was in the negative]
Virtual_Panopticon · 66 points · Posted at 01:49:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's called 'the wind,' Kevin
tit_wrangler · 7 points · Posted at 23:02:06 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have to read this in Ralph Wiggum's voice.
HoodedNegro · 2 points · Posted at 20:57:54 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Bold move Cotton, let's see if it pays off."
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 00:27:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
ggg730 · 29 points · Posted at 01:13:19 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was rambling and incoherent. You sure you're not related to Kevin?
jazzypants · 7 points · Posted at 03:09:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It sounds like you got emotionally invested in this "fwb".
vitaminKsGood4u · 1 points · Posted at 02:45:17 on April 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dammit, what did it say? Deleting should be illegal!
gocolts12 · 59 points · Posted at 01:52:21 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh god, all I can think of when reading that is Ralph Wiggum saying "me fail English? that's unpossible!"
Doomsday_Device · 3 points · Posted at 07:27:24 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holy shit, you got Gold Five Months after you made a comment!?
That's some next-level shit right there.
AerodynamicWaffle · 2 points · Posted at 02:16:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you meant desk.
chickenoflight · 2 points · Posted at 19:52:40 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanna be a blitzball when i grow up
WhyWouldHeLie · 2 points · Posted at 01:24:11 on June 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
Malaysian airlines, specifically
Licie_Quip · 2 points · Posted at 00:46:42 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
A spitfire?
macrocephale · 2 points · Posted at 14:26:08 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Definitely an Inbetweeners thing!
gnitsuj · 2 points · Posted at 01:15:31 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stumbled upon this thread, your comment was stuck at 4999 upvotes. You're welcome.
Dark-Castle · 2 points · Posted at 03:06:40 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)*
And within an hour it had another 69 upvotes? Holy shit. Edit: What the fuck, two days pass and it's up another 600 up votes.
Da_Poiler · 2 points · Posted at 00:23:58 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
5 months late but that made me laugh for a minute straight. You deserve that gold.
pingy212 · 2 points · Posted at 21:21:00 on September 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wanted to be Sonic the Hedgehog when I was younger. Yes, Sonic the Hedgehog.
Dark-Castle · 1 points · Posted at 00:26:22 on September 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gota go fas
HereticKitsune · 5 points · Posted at 16:14:37 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
~Blitzball*~
EDIT: Found a more relevant comment for this!
CarpeDiem96 · 1 points · Posted at 11:22:50 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a quote from a film right? I remember it being said similar to that. A movie about a dumb kid talking to his parents saying he wanted to be something and ended up saying the object or tool rather than the occupation. Oh god what was it?
shitwhore · 1 points · Posted at 12:50:36 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did it happen today? If so, thank http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2ekxkq/teachers_of_reddit_where_is_your_most_successful/ck0oz9w this guy for linking to this thread.
visixfan · 1 points · Posted at 06:15:05 on August 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
it was just linked to from /r/MuseumOfReddit so i assume someone from there thought you were funny and gave you gold.
iZacAsimov · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:16 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
And five months later, a late congratulations!
claustrophobicdragon · 410 points · Posted at 22:08:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, it's very possible that he isn't the exception. Maybe he can pilot an F-15 like no one else on the planet.
NoahtheRed · 419 points · Posted at 22:12:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, that would be awesome.
Wild_Marker · 703 points · Posted at 02:29:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You misspelled terrifying.
[deleted] · 137 points · Posted at 04:21:30 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
nocbl2 · 257 points · Posted at 00:36:51 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Hey guys, what's up with my flight suit? Something's wrong, but I can't tell..."
"Those are cookie monster pajamas, Airman."
[deleted] · 166 points · Posted at 09:53:35 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin's nickname? Sky potato.
Lucid_Sky · 124 points · Posted at 12:10:58 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Air Spud.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:03:06 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd this thread still all alive?
llk4life · 9 points · Posted at 06:51:25 on July 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sky 'tater
Xperr7 · 1 points · Posted at 02:59:45 on July 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Air Tater
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 06:05:54 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
nocbl2 · 1 points · Posted at 03:48:39 on April 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes indeed. It's always fun when things are relevant across threads occuring at the same time.
kapitein_paf · 6 points · Posted at 07:46:05 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Awe-some acrobatics whilest shooting and bombing friendly targets. Forgetting to land, mistaking railroadstations for airfields. Gonna be a blast
walruz · 3 points · Posted at 09:53:08 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only if you're planning on attending any Yemeni weddings.
GrethSC · 169 points · Posted at 09:38:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think he's just the subject of constant corrupted djinn wishes. 'You can fly an F-15 like no one else on the planet; can't remember where the airfield is.'
MangoCats · 31 points · Posted at 15:32:08 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Met an Israeli F4 pilot once - wing commander. Apparently, he and his squad used to get roaring drunk, party 'til 4 in the morning, then fly dawn patrol - taking out Iranian nuclear facilities and such. Apparently: "So, where's our target again?" was asked more than once.
NuclearStudent · 17 points · Posted at 17:42:47 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he did take out Iranian nuclear facilities, that probably a military secret. I've poked through the wikipedia articles on the Israeli Air Force and Iran-Israel interactions, as well as poking through the rest of the internet.
Israel bombed nuclear facilities in Iraq and Syria, as well as some Iranian assets and supplies, but not Iranian nuclear facilities directly.
MangoCats · 11 points · Posted at 17:45:32 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
As the stories go, most missions were recon, carrying live weapons, but I believe he indicated that weapons were fired more than once... no specifics.
NuclearStudent · 8 points · Posted at 19:41:40 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
That makes sense. Did he mention having a designated sober guy to keep everyone on track?
idhavetocharge · 255 points · Posted at 01:18:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really doubt he would be allowed to do more than look at pictures of planes if he did somehow make it into any branch of service. Honestly if this guy spoke the truth i would be scared to let him pilot a mop bucket.
AerodynamicWaffle · 187 points · Posted at 02:17:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would be scared to let him near a mop bucket.
guyinthecap · 136 points · Posted at 10:37:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn it, Kevin, the consoles don't need to be mopped. How are we gonna dry this out before Major Smith's sortie tonight?
Geminii27 · 90 points · Posted at 10:51:35 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
...five minutes later, Kevin has draped an electric blanket over the consoles and is under it, naked and snoring.
JMan1989 · 11 points · Posted at 13:46:09 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
He would drown before he could get that far.
TheMadmanAndre · 7 points · Posted at 17:54:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jebediah Kevin, Mop Master?
duckmurderer · 3 points · Posted at 06:12:59 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Then frankly, my dear, you'd be surprised. I have a list of names, fellow aircraft maintainers, that would fit the bill.
Their job isn't to just touch airplanes but to ensure that they don't break mid-air.
notthepapa · 37 points · Posted at 23:24:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or run like Forrest
claustrophobicdragon · 6 points · Posted at 00:02:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was who I thought of, too.
notthepapa · 5 points · Posted at 00:21:38 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Great minds think alike
duckmurderer · 2 points · Posted at 06:10:59 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can't fly a plane without passing school. They got rid of the Warrant Officer ranks in the AF.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 02:01:58 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
More like a pen-15
[deleted] · 122 points · Posted at 20:19:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin for president
sheepboy32785 · 24 points · Posted at 02:08:11 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
We've had worse...
Dynamaxion · 9 points · Posted at 19:59:03 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you know he'd be too incompetent to pull off any horrible plan.
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 05:43:18 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dynamaxion · 2 points · Posted at 07:59:56 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Digging around old threads eh?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:28:38 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
thenichi · 3 points · Posted at 17:01:22 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I found it on yet another AskReddit post.
Meowsticgoesnya · 2 points · Posted at 18:11:25 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wonder how many more will join us.
thenichi · 3 points · Posted at 19:23:07 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Everyone. Within two years all of Reddit will be consumed in the Kevin thread.
Meowsticgoesnya · 3 points · Posted at 19:43:32 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
FTFY
Jhago · 3 points · Posted at 12:45:16 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still going strong.
TheLazySloan · 1 points · Posted at 06:24:43 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
One more reporting for duty.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:24:53 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
[removed]
Meowsticgoesnya · 1 points · Posted at 10:19:05 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hello.
VikingTeddy · 1 points · Posted at 17:15:33 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still active!
Meowsticgoesnya · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:53 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hello.
shieldvexor · 1 points · Posted at 21:56:57 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reporting in
jmsloderb · 1 points · Posted at 20:30:08 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey all.
elykl12 · 1 points · Posted at 01:37:53 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still watching. Still waiting.
Kevin is coming
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:46 on August 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Meowsticgoesnya · 1 points · Posted at 12:34:49 on August 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn, so many people.
bobbyscotty · 2 points · Posted at 14:16:21 on August 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd vote for Kevin before I'd vote for Sarah Palin.
SentientMediocrity · 699 points · Posted at 21:19:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dammit, he got a job at a Malaysian airline, didn't he?
Terran_Jedi · 11 points · Posted at 02:05:09 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's may third and I can't believe that plane is still missing.
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 07:08:36 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
July 6th, still missing.
NOlerct3 · 11 points · Posted at 21:37:53 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
August 23rd, still missing.
andrewsad1 · 8 points · Posted at 22:06:29 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
August 23rd, 27 minutes in the future. Still haven't found it.
You came here from here, didn't you?
DigbyMayor · 11 points · Posted at 00:34:40 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sept 3rd, no plane.
NOlerct3 · 2 points · Posted at 22:10:16 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yougotme.gif
XDSHENANNIGANZ · 5 points · Posted at 06:35:13 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
August 27th,
Still nothing.
SentientMediocrity · 2 points · Posted at 02:31:17 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's May third and I was quite surprised to be replied to a month later.
_Acid · 6 points · Posted at 05:22:23 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's may 30th and the planes still missing, but that joke has me in tears. So there's that haha
h3lblad3 · 3 points · Posted at 09:17:19 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is 26 days later. And a few hours ago, Fox News mentioned the flight.
I feel like I am in some form of Malaysian airline hell.
XDark_XSteel · 7 points · Posted at 05:15:35 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
But little did they know, it was only the beginning for Malaysia...
EpicSquid · 4 points · Posted at 01:22:00 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
70 days after that, I'd almost forgotten about the missing flight as I haven't heard it mentioned in a long while.
h3lblad3 · 3 points · Posted at 12:47:05 on September 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
And 3 days later, CBS mentions it. Again.
BenjaminGeiger · 192 points · Posted at 23:41:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/toosoon
/r/imgoingtohellforthis
/r/subredditsashashtags
AerodynamicWaffle · 99 points · Posted at 02:17:53 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/justno
Holy crap that exists.
Expired_Bacon · 3 points · Posted at 21:44:53 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
so does /r/burgerking
CoolTom · 8 points · Posted at 19:16:32 on September 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
I choose to believe that says bur gerking.
heartles · 10 points · Posted at 00:32:38 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/subsarehashbrowns
dannyrat · 36 points · Posted at 19:46:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
God help us, they might give him a gun...
thenichi · 3 points · Posted at 17:01:46 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is America. It's his God0fucking-given right you fucking Commie.
mortiphago · 277 points · Posted at 18:46:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
he looks like solid army material :P
yakkafoobmog · 129 points · Posted at 18:58:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey...hey now. Let's not say anything we can't take back.
Sounds more like a jarhead to me.
;)
guyinthecap · 136 points · Posted at 19:31:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But every marine is a rifleman. You want this guy to hold a gun, or fly a desk? ;)
ManfredH · 105 points · Posted at 01:32:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I imagine if you said to Kevin he was going to be flying a desk, the response would be something like, "I knew they could fly! I just KNEW it!"
guyinthecap · 64 points · Posted at 01:42:21 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Of course, then he'll watch Top Gun and find a way to crash the desk into the tower...
superspeck · 56 points · Posted at 03:01:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
NEGATIVE GHOSTKEVIN. THE PATTERN IS FULL.
guyinthecap · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:43 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's a pattern, sir?
I_dont_bone_goats · 75 points · Posted at 23:20:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The amount of faces in this thread is making me uncomfortable. ;x
guyinthecap · 29 points · Posted at 01:43:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
):) Mwahahaha!
DerEnder · 4 points · Posted at 14:44:54 on April 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:54:43 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's just what marines like to tell themselves.
ArguingPizza · 2 points · Posted at 22:43:55 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Based on what I've just read, he would actually try to fly the desk
guyinthecap · 1 points · Posted at 23:03:28 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Then he would buzz the tower, because fuck yo logic!
[deleted] · 36 points · Posted at 05:36:53 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
If anything my beloved Corps would at the very least find out if Kevin was a trainable or needed institutionalizing. I had a kid in my platoon in boot camp who, six weeks in, FINALLY got recycled. He never once made his rack himself or learned to stop smiling in the DI's faces. I don't know if he ever graduated.
guyinthecap · 9 points · Posted at 10:34:58 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Maybe he found that one DI that talked some sense into him? By the way, awesome username. Is it related to your beloved Corp?
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:36:01 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, I was a helo mech but I didn't fly until years after my military life was over.
MondaysHero · 6 points · Posted at 23:48:48 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a kid in boot camp who wasn't even allowed to dress himself. He wasn't even allowed to put on his own underwear. It was by far the saddest, yet funniest, thing I have ever witnessed.
Geminii27 · 1 points · Posted at 10:50:17 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just think; one day he could be President.
Choke-Atl · 2 points · Posted at 01:12:21 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gomer Pyle?
masterpooter · 50 points · Posted at 08:23:17 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've met a lot of marines, and I've met A LOT of army.
The marines have all been much smarter than the army guys.
earthwormjim91 · 125 points · Posted at 10:53:43 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am a Marine currently. As long as he can run, do pullups, and shoot well, then he'll be a SgtMaj in no time. I've met a lot of Marines that I'm pretty sure are either borderline legally retarded, or below that.
RandomMandarin · 137 points · Posted at 15:32:25 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I work with an ex-Marine who is, if anything, illegally retarded.
sonofaresiii · 9 points · Posted at 06:33:10 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's pretty damn retarded.
masterpooter · 24 points · Posted at 11:18:17 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well there might be a correlation there because all the marines I've met only did one enlistment and got out.
earthwormjim91 · 23 points · Posted at 11:19:49 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those are the smart ones then. The ones that stay in are the ones that can't cut it in the real world.
bdunbar · 2 points · Posted at 14:39:07 on May 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey now: I was going to be one of those guys. I wanted to be the master gunny who really knew how stuff got done, not the first sergeant kissing the captain's hinder.
Then .. NJP near the end of my second enlistment. I found myself an E3 with two service stripes and denied enlistment. Read the writing on the wall: got the heck out.
earthwormjim91 · 2 points · Posted at 23:33:47 on May 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
See, all the master guns that I've had have all been ass kissers. Not quite as bad as the 1stsgts,but still ass kiss and throw all the younger guys under the bus. This may just be the intel/sigint field though.
What were you before your njp? I thought that Cpls were forced out at 8, and it had to have been something bad to drop from Sgt.
bdunbar · 2 points · Posted at 01:36:44 on May 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Never saw any when I was a grunt. Then I lat-moved.
I worked for some good ones in data processing. One 'iffy' one, and he was a good SNCO, just a bad technician.
I was corporal before I was busted, both times. Wait, let me backtrack.
I enlisted in one slow-promoting field: 0311. Made corporal just before I re-enlisted. Busted to Lance just after re-enlisting.
Lat-moved [1] to another slow-promoting field: data processing. Made corporal again, then busted back to Lance just before my 7-year mark.
This sounds like a complete goof-ball, and I guess I was, in some respects. I never saw myself as a lifer, but a career Marine. I liked being in the Fleet, liked doing my job.
I liked - weirdly - being a Marine and I think I was not half-bad at it.
The Major - the one who busted me the second time - disagreed and said in so many words 'no way am I recommending you for re-enlistment, mr. 7 1/2 years and still a Lance Corporal'
Whatever, dude.
[1] Contractual obligation. Otherwise I'm sure Colonel Pace would have been delighted to send me to 8th Marines.
earthwormjim91 · 3 points · Posted at 01:49:52 on May 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah that makes some more sense.I was thinking it was one NJP.
Also, since you said Col Pace (I'm gonna guess Peter Pace) this would've been 20+ years ago right?
bdunbar · 2 points · Posted at 03:54:52 on May 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
My fault entirely for not filling in the whole story.
25 years, 1989. Time passes.
earthwormjim91 · 3 points · Posted at 04:14:36 on May 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jesus. 25 years ago. That must have been a way different time back then. Nowadays they tried to kick me out for not checking my Bn mailbox (the one the guys that live in the barracks have to use). I am married. I haven't had that mailbox or lived in the barracks for 2.5 years.
bdunbar · 2 points · Posted at 11:15:09 on May 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah: I would have retired in 2005 with my 20.
It sounds like the mickey-mouse never goes out of style.
bdunbar · 3 points · Posted at 14:35:48 on May 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to boot camp with a guy who was legally retarded.
He graduated. With the platoon. Not a mental giant, but he was a strong m'fer and he could shoot.
Last time I saw him was at the reception barracks at Camp Pendelton: he was off for motor-t school.
JediExile · 3 points · Posted at 23:27:26 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why is it that marines are either really sharp or really stupid? I've never seen one of average intelligence. I know five that have masters degrees and ten that have threatened to kill me over math- or physics-related arguments.
earthwormjim91 · 6 points · Posted at 23:30:51 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Beats me man. I've been trying to figure that out for 4 years. I think it's because the smart Ines become officers, the average ones are too smart to stay in, and the dumb ones know they could be survive in the real world so they stay in enlisted.
That's pretty much what I've decided.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:33:52 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
earthwormjim91 · 1 points · Posted at 19:20:08 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Marine Corps attracts a certain amount of "less than average" people. The lowest minimum test scores to get in, and up until recently they were building up the force so they were taking pretty much anyone.
yakkafoobmog · 2 points · Posted at 15:05:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My dad was a Marine and an electrical engineer so there's that.
There's also the Marine who transferred to the Army and would not march correctly for anything.
And having served on bases for all but the Air Force, there are idiots everywhere.
masterpooter · 2 points · Posted at 15:30:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
of course there are idiots everywhere. i'm just saying that my experience has been that marines are smarter than army. your father seems to support my conclusion.
guyinthecap · 1 points · Posted at 10:33:10 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
The few and the proud, right? My understanding is that there aren't as many marine units, but they are held to a high standard. The army is huge, do you'll see units that are top notch, and units that are full of slackers. I guess at the end of the day, there's a reason why JSOC uses marines to back up their SOGs.
Rabid_Mongoose · 3 points · Posted at 17:41:10 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, they don't. I can't even begin to wonder where you got this info.
guyinthecap · 1 points · Posted at 18:12:27 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry? Do you mind elaborating? Which part is inaccurate, or is it all of it?
bobbyscotty · 3 points · Posted at 14:11:50 on August 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am my rifle. There are many like me, but I is it.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:36:53 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
He could be like Forrest Gump.
ReeferMaaan · 1 points · Posted at 05:32:33 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin sounds like a couple guys I knew in boot camp that didn't graduate.
not_homer_simpson · 6 points · Posted at 02:21:37 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
"You made your kid stupid, we'll make them Army stupid"
DarrenEdwards · 3 points · Posted at 04:27:51 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brother had a friend like this. He was kicked out of the army because another soldier asked him to hold onto his heroin for him.
SuperBeard117 · 2 points · Posted at 16:06:11 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's practically made for front line infantry.
thenichi · 1 points · Posted at 17:02:00 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
You were made for front-line infantry!
ComebackMom · 54 points · Posted at 00:02:37 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Crew Chief, flight MH370
TheMadmanAndre · 5 points · Posted at 17:54:55 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/imgoingtohellforthis
GenTronSeven · 18 points · Posted at 19:14:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably in charge of an airbase by now.
jxj24 · 29 points · Posted at 23:38:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Currently serving on the flightline.
As wheel chocks.
Arx0s · 1 points · Posted at 04:14:47 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
One day, he will be plane. He will be plane...
CarmenTS · 23 points · Posted at 19:42:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
God Bless America
surelyujest71 · 8 points · Posted at 03:43:26 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
He'll go out one day to join the Air Force, and wind up in the Navy. 8 years later, when we hear about the first aircraft carrier to ever get stuck on the Great Barrier Reef, we'll know it was Kevin.
Achruss · 8 points · Posted at 21:25:01 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
My best friend is in the Air force, and I'm joining soon. He's at tech school, and calls me to tell me about the people.
Kevin will excel in the air force.
y2ketchup · 4 points · Posted at 15:38:14 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
So basically Kevin is Forrest Gump
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 18:14:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
StopSayingRIPInPeace · 37 points · Posted at 19:49:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stop it.
Doc_Hemingway · 1 points · Posted at 21:00:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
RIP in peace is the funnest thing I've ever heard without understanding why I think it's so funny, I am "literally" dying for a situation to use in which to use it in
Languidpenguin · 1 points · Posted at 21:18:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
RIP in peace /u/Doc_Hemingway
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:38:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What was the comment?
Doomjester11 · 4 points · Posted at 22:41:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He probably said RIP in peace, since /u/stopsayingripinpeace is a bot that always responds to people saying rip in peace
Wicep1027 · 5 points · Posted at 18:25:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I doubt they'll take him lol.
WikiddAllstarr · 2 points · Posted at 18:56:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
RIP our Air Force. Never forget.
TheThing345 · 3 points · Posted at 18:54:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not sure if this is a pun referring to Trevor and GTA 5 or not
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:05:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It doesn't sound like he would meet the Army standards, let alone the Air Force ones.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:37:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh my god, i am acutaly laughing out loud. which means alot considering the fact that I didnt have human contact for the entire day, studying chinese o.O
411eli · 1 points · Posted at 06:01:00 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
why is this "right" in this world?
calladus · 1 points · Posted at 20:48:02 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was in AF basic training, the TI used to say one guy in our flight was only qualified to be a speed bump....
xannmax · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:59 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
How does this... how does this happen?
Please, tell me! How does a human like this exist!?
NoahtheRed · 4 points · Posted at 01:57:06 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Roll 6 billion D20s a couple hundred times and there's a decent chance at least one of them is just gonna keep rolling critical fumbles.
Eveenus · 1 points · Posted at 07:09:48 on April 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is Kevin's real name kyle by any chance? I know someone in the military that is basically kevin
invisible_swordsman · 1 points · Posted at 23:27:12 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was his real name Devin? And did he have a brother named Tevin?
monkeysquirts · 1 points · Posted at 22:26:15 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gomer Pile?
NoahtheRed · 2 points · Posted at 18:46:45 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I tried fruitlessly to get "Shazam!" to be in his vocabulary.
not_homer_simpson · 1 points · Posted at 02:27:18 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
OMG, I think he may have joined the Army. I was in the Air Force and deployed in the desert a couple years ago. Every once in a while I'd work with some soldiers in the Patriot battalion where everyone would be busy and there was this one kid that would always be sitting on the ground drooling on his ACU's. Every freakin' time I went there!
This guy has stuck in my mind for the past couple years, people just walked around him pretending he wasn't there. Pretty sure this guy had to have had an ASVAB (like an IQ test when enlisting in the military) waiver.
cactusflower4 · 1 points · Posted at 05:41:28 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was he mentally challenged in a specific way or was he just completely uneducated?
HoochGoblin · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:39 on May 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin's too dumb to join the Air Force but I'm pretty sure he could make lieutenant in the Marines.
duckmurderer · 1 points · Posted at 06:09:11 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Does kevin's surname rhyme poser?
Because I went through BMT with two very special people and one of them made it. I don't know how. Maybe it's because they stuck him in security forces and said, "They need the manning," but he passed.
Perverted_Manwhore · 1 points · Posted at 09:50:56 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fly Kevin fly!
canserpants · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:20 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to air force basic training with a guy that fits this description extremely well..
MexicanPriest · 1 points · Posted at 06:27:39 on June 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's Bad Luck Brian !
plausibleimprobable · 1 points · Posted at 01:57:14 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
What a fucking fascinating family, I'm astounded his parents actually figured out the difference between belly button and vagina and successfully conceived a child.
Cpt_Tripps · 1 points · Posted at 20:09:21 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god was his name Tod Wells?
aros102 · 1 points · Posted at 02:35:01 on July 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Kevin is love." I say to myself. "Kevin is life."
Sour_J · 1 points · Posted at 06:28:13 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
What did they put in the Nachos??
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:11:41 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I want to make a joke, but it would probably get a LOT of hate... Somebody's probably thinking about it....
RiverSong2123 · 1 points · Posted at 03:36:36 on August 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
By any chance did he work for Malaysia Airlines?
LoveIreSong24 · 1 points · Posted at 19:03:14 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I honestly think I know who Kevin is...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:34:58 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Watch him get fired for crashing a jet and then refusing it happened.
Zombi_Sagan · 1 points · Posted at 07:08:42 on August 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, that is great. Did this happen to be in 2007 when he would have possibly graduated? I had a kid in my basic class, dumber then a bag of rocks, who clearly reminds me of this 'Kevin'. I don't know how the kid survived to be 18 but in those days, everyone was welcome to the AF.
Runehizen · 1 points · Posted at 21:47:03 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
The airforce !, as what a plane
Mikllasp · -2 points · Posted at 23:22:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Grtz on making so many people believe your story, it was well written. Enjoy your internet points
L1FTED · 2 points · Posted at 21:16:58 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't believe it for a second.
noradosmith · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:10 on May 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING REAL SHIT UP?
Money-not_you_again · 1 points · Posted at 06:53:41 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
You ain't Never lie.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:42:27 on May 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
im going with "you cant make it up"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:59:38 on June 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
"You can't be making this shit up"?
teamtardis · 1 points · Posted at 05:41:29 on July 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's like Forrest Gump, somehow. Forrest was dumb, but amazing things happened to him. Kevin is dumb. Terrible things happen to him, but he somehow survives.
NumbMyLove · 971 points · Posted at 15:57:19 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god. I had a neighbor that fits this description perfectly. Once dug a "trap" hold in my friend's back yard and covered it with leaves, then proceeded to fall into it and we had to pull him out. Would repeatedly climb the tree in his front yard all the way to the top, then fall out of it every time. Except the one time that he didn't and we had to call the fire department because he couldn't remember how to climb down. Was riding his bike to our house in swim shorts with a towel around his neck. Leaned too far over and the towel got stuck in the spokes. He flipped over the handle bars and the bike flipped over and landed on top of him. We wouldn't let him near our trampoline, because we feared for his and our lives. He's now a high ranking army man...
EDIT he was on leave and came back to visit last winter. His car slid and he took out my neighbor's mailbox and we had to help pull him out of the ditch. It wasn't even icy. It terrifies me that they let him touch guns.
GingerWithFreckles · 334 points · Posted at 21:59:53 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please, for the love of god, please, let this be America for once. Please tell me he's an ocean apart of me.
RageToWin · 430 points · Posted at 22:34:00 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he is American, then you know sooner or later he'll be crossing that ocean.
NumbMyLove · 166 points · Posted at 23:00:08 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol yes. Michigan
GingerWithFreckles · 121 points · Posted at 00:03:07 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can go to bed in peace now, thank you
[deleted] · 42 points · Posted at 06:56:26 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's stationed in your country.
-ilikesnow- · 17 points · Posted at 04:47:18 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
And in my frickin' damn state too......
harshdark · 12 points · Posted at 15:26:09 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please be in the UP. I really don't want him to be from the same part of the state I grew up in.
NumbMyLove · 8 points · Posted at 15:34:42 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah. Lived very near to Flint, about an hour from Detroit.
displacedyoop · 13 points · Posted at 03:54:56 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shit
harshdark · 9 points · Posted at 19:43:18 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you were on the east side and not the west, I'll take that.
DeviouslySerene · 18 points · Posted at 06:58:59 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Good old Michigan. Where apples never fall far from trees. I dated a guy in high school that got expelled and then barely passed his GED. He was not good at anything to do with school work or memorization of facts. But, motherfucker could weld like crazy and hunt like a bear. He had no still set for book smarts, but he went 101 and was jumping out of helicopters and driving Humvees and Tanks. Also, he was social so stupid. He did great in the military because they run your life for you. He madea huge signing bonus, got medically discharged and is married with 3 boys and recently graduated to be a mechanic for cars, big rigs, and motor sport vehicles.
IllBeGoingNow · 7 points · Posted at 03:06:53 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shit.
Excalibur54 · 4 points · Posted at 06:51:46 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
GAHHH THATS WHERE I LIVE
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:06:26 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh hell no. Now I have to build a bunker? Fuck me.
pointlessvoice · 3 points · Posted at 21:45:13 on July 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn. Now i gotta move.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 02:22:13 on September 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
NumbMyLove · 2 points · Posted at 02:24:27 on September 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol. I doubt you're in the same area :P
kamporter · 2 points · Posted at 14:39:09 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fucking A. This is why I fear my decision to join the Army.
displacedyoop · 5 points · Posted at 03:56:37 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not to bad. Lots of dummies and a few really smart people. You'll find the smart ones because they are looking for other smart people too, you'll be able to pick them out quickly.
kragmoor · 2 points · Posted at 19:22:33 on August 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
haha, stupid Michigan
Loverboy21 · 189 points · Posted at 02:35:35 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
For once? As an American from a small town, it is ALWAYS America.
[deleted] · 25 points · Posted at 00:43:14 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Usually Florida
procrastinatingme · 19 points · Posted at 01:55:35 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man, if you only lived here. It's worse than you think.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 02:01:14 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to live there, I know.
stormin217 · 2 points · Posted at 20:44:55 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I second this
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 04:47:21 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like America. Our Army is fucking stupid. They go for quantity over quality. They literally let almost anyone in. and most likely if the deny you. You can get a waiver
sheepboy32785 · 118 points · Posted at 03:20:47 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
why does this not surprise me?
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 03:18:31 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
To those God didn't give brains, He gave stars and stripes.
Common soldiers saying in my country. Basically, the command is always retarded in one way or the other.
[deleted] · 74 points · Posted at 02:40:08 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm an officer with prior service and an enlisted and I can tell you the high ranking officers in the military are complet dumbasses .
_Bones · 46 points · Posted at 09:33:36 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
A General is coming who is very concerned with wasteful spending and financial efficiency in his troops. What do we do, Major?
Repaint the building whether it needs it or not!
I had to come in on a fucking weekend to repaint the halls in the squadron building so some jackass could spend twenty minutes walking through not caring before heading off to meetings for the rest of his stay.
Calsendon · 4 points · Posted at 10:48:36 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
They're the only ones dumb enough to stay in the military for long enough to advance that high.
dedservice · 7 points · Posted at 10:42:50 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Smart people don't volunteer to get shot at for years.
abutthole · 3 points · Posted at 13:38:29 on July 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Am I correct in my guess that blindly following orders is what gets you promoted versus showing leadership initiative?
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 17:08:25 on July 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, I went to college.
abutthole · 0 points · Posted at 17:11:19 on July 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Then why are the leaders all dumbasses?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:18:17 on July 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
They just show no effort in anything and have no understanding of regulations.
patron_vectras · 2 points · Posted at 15:44:42 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
But kissing ass? Being petty? Done.
My dad was in an engineer detachment in Iraq late in this war and had a fellow. Everyone in the detachment was Lt. Col. This joker was so bad, they sent him to all the projects that were going smoothly so he couldn't screw them up.
He got promoted.
Iamaredditlady · 0 points · Posted at 18:11:09 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Complet? Is that french for complete?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:42:36 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm on my phone.
akmarksman · 15 points · Posted at 05:37:49 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I betcha he qualifies (with flying colors) for the Special Forces..
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 00:48:32 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sgt. Barbers need a recruit.
CrazyIvan101 · 4 points · Posted at 23:38:27 on May 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
PLEASE report his dumb ass or something before he hurts people.
synsofhumanity · 2 points · Posted at 14:25:06 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is his name Michael J Caboose?
NumbMyLove · 1 points · Posted at 20:38:18 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol no it wasn't.
InFunkWeTrust · 2 points · Posted at 00:40:45 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
The image of the fucking towel in the spokes, I'm dying
NumbMyLove · 1 points · Posted at 02:16:09 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was magical, that for sure.
OniTan · 833 points · Posted at 04:01:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We call that setting the tryout on hard mode. You better have game to pass that one.
NoahtheRed · 832 points · Posted at 12:22:36 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let's be honest. Kevin was short, slow, and white and the basketball team was a regular college scouting stop. Kevin had a better chance of making the Olympic Luge team...and that was before he called the coach a bitch.
bongthegong · 296 points · Posted at 21:02:46 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
And as aforementioned, 84% of the school is black.
[deleted] · -33 points · Posted at 21:40:40 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where is the school at? Harlem?
[deleted] · 67 points · Posted at 15:11:45 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
is that where all the black people live now
treDBP · 42 points · Posted at 08:21:53 on July 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah we moved to Greenland to avoid the plague.
Emyrk · 26 points · Posted at 13:47:27 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
My dad was on the Olympic luge team, he chuckled at that comment
Coasteast · 1 points · Posted at 02:29:50 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was he fat, too?
Arrav_VII · -1 points · Posted at 09:20:59 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
How does being white make you bad at baskettball? (Though short and slow already gave it away)
thenichi · 3 points · Posted at 17:02:43 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
White=short and slow
commatose · 1719 points · Posted at 18:14:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is the best.
NoahtheRed · 3353 points · Posted at 18:23:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha, that was actually one of my favorites too because of how I found it out. We were doing an assignment on personification and I had people describe their pets using it. (Welcome to America, where we teach personification in high school, I know). Kevin didn't have any pets but he said his neighbor had a cat he played with sometimes. He listed off like 3 or 4 things and it became really apparent that he was describing a dog. At first I thought that maybe he just had trouble figuring out the right way to say it, but after 2 or 3 more sentences, it was abundantly clear that this was a really big dog. Someone else who lived on the same street put 2 and 2 together as well and said "Kevin, that's not a cat. That's so-and-so's black lab." Kevin was absolutely floored that A. someone else lived on his street and B. that there was a difference between a black lab and a house cat. Like, I am only guessing, but I think to him...dog and cat were as interchangeable terms as Hat and Cap.
You train and prepare as a teacher to try and find ways to redirect embarrassing situations like a student being REALLY wrong in public, but I was at a loss for how to move on from there.
[deleted] · 1632 points · Posted at 23:09:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can you make a super post just telling stories about Kevin?
[deleted] · 808 points · Posted at 02:28:20 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
sarayep · 309 points · Posted at 00:46:22 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
People like this DRIVE CARS.
6roybatty6 · 357 points · Posted at 06:48:32 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
One day, Kevin will be eligible to vote.
stormin217 · 11 points · Posted at 20:48:00 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
And tons of them are in Chicago, close-calling my bike off the road every few days.
[deleted] · 226 points · Posted at 02:32:25 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe an entire sub devoted to stories about dumb people. /r/StoriesAboutIdiots anyone?
SirLockHomes · 448 points · Posted at 14:04:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, I think there would be enough in /r/StoriesAboutKevin
-FeistyRabbitSauce- · 220 points · Posted at 10:06:32 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, /r/IcantbelieveitsnotKevin
And people an just post stories of others being as fucking stupid as he is.
BrobdingnagianBooty · 11 points · Posted at 02:03:55 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
please make this a thing
Theo93 · 8 points · Posted at 07:25:28 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh jesus I want this
[deleted] · 30 points · Posted at 19:00:38 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
No no no, he needs his very own subreddit. /r/TheChroniclesOfKevinTheNinethGrader
Mr_A · 68 points · Posted at 11:41:56 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, man. The fact that you spelt "Ninth" incorrectly is fucking great, considering the context of the thread.
earthwormjim91 · 48 points · Posted at 10:58:54 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Done. Get everyone to start posting some stories!
smhennessy · 8 points · Posted at 05:04:25 on May 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/Kevin
It actually exists.
amppeople2 · 8 points · Posted at 05:14:39 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
You got my hopes up.
Ptylerdactyl · 664 points · Posted at 23:35:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I need this in my life.
NihilusOfTheVoid · -30 points · Posted at 01:29:30 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your life makes me sad.
Ptylerdactyl · 24 points · Posted at 17:14:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
All life makes you sad, Dark One.
jianadaren1 · 31 points · Posted at 02:03:49 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm betting you were already sad /u/NihilusOfTheVoid
PineconeShuff · 92 points · Posted at 20:29:13 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
seriously. I opened /u/noahthered just so I could read any other posts there might be about Kevin
NoahtheRed · 210 points · Posted at 00:05:27 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha sorry to disappoint. Kevin was but a small part of my teaching career. The rest of my posts are about boats, cameras, and warhammer.
[deleted] · 325 points · Posted at 23:19:47 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
karmapuhlease · 287 points · Posted at 13:53:46 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
The fact that you have +82 karma for a comment you made 3 months after the original post is a crazy testament to how big of a part of his Reddit career this post is.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 03:09:29 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
warhammer? i haven't played that game in years, good fun but a huge time and money sink.
zekeybomb · 4 points · Posted at 02:50:27 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
omg do kevin stories please
pollorojo · 12 points · Posted at 01:33:42 on April 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/ShitKevinDid
golfreak923 · 3 points · Posted at 07:34:43 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
So, basically, this is a real life texts from Bennet but it's real?
minastirith1 · 2 points · Posted at 03:46:42 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please make a /r/Kevin subreddit.
Mustaka · 569 points · Posted at 14:00:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just when you think the cat/dog mistake was top level for kevin he goes and takes it to another level with other people living on his street.
ThatSpazChick · 152 points · Posted at 20:28:28 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought a zip code was special and it only applied to my house, not the whole town. Elementary school was wonderous.
Apocalypseboyz · 13 points · Posted at 23:47:00 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait what? I'm fucking 20 and I didn't know this.
karmapuhlease · 13 points · Posted at 13:56:34 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dude, really? Are you a Kevin?
(But seriously, how did you not notice that everyone else filled out the same number on school forms or that 'your' zip code was on the side of the post office? )
Apocalypseboyz · 6 points · Posted at 18:39:05 on August 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, not named Kevin. And dude, I have no idea. I'm still reeling from the implications.
ThatSpazChick · 6 points · Posted at 06:04:52 on July 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you know now.
naryn · 23 points · Posted at 10:02:28 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, in the UK that's what a postcode does except for a single street
jooke · 9 points · Posted at 06:34:39 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Single side of the street isn't it?
naryn · 12 points · Posted at 22:18:14 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Depends, in smaller areas a postcode can be for whole villages
frymaster · 6 points · Posted at 23:34:09 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only for very large streets
TenNinetythree · 3 points · Posted at 11:00:42 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seriously? In Germany there are streets which are party in one postcode and partly in another one. And before there was the change to 5 digit postcodes, there was one part that was before the name of the city and one after, like 5000 Köln 42.
naryn · 5 points · Posted at 11:15:07 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Postcodes here are usually made of two parts, CT2 for instance is Canterbury, then the next bit (7UF) would be the street. If you see an address form with the find address... Thing, you put in the postcode then a list of houses on the street will come up
karmapuhlease · 5 points · Posted at 13:57:34 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, the extra 4 digits at the end usually do.
brightside03 · 8 points · Posted at 23:55:27 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
No one bothered telling me what my zip code was until around 8th grade..
Jaytho · 14 points · Posted at 16:59:47 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, these are some of the things you're expected to figure out by yourself. Most do, some ... need help.
brightside03 · 3 points · Posted at 17:39:47 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aye.
Mustaka · -3 points · Posted at 21:45:26 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is Your name Kevin?
Darth_drizzt_42 · 16 points · Posted at 21:08:52 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Elementary school is acceptable for that kind of stuff.
SingleAssDude · 9 points · Posted at 13:24:10 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel for the kid. Such a discovery probably made him dizzy and you can't blame the bastard for being upset about that.
Noneerror · 371 points · Posted at 14:29:23 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
This out of the entire story cracked me up the most. I had envisioned him thinking houses and cars lived on his street. His mind being blown that people live in those houses.
ragemaker4 · 10 points · Posted at 02:37:10 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just love those little things that attack you in that one way to make you bust out laughing.
Feldew · 6 points · Posted at 13:53:26 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe he would have been surprised that other students lived so close to him. I did my damndest to avoid people from school in my neighborhood and rarely left the house, so I liked to imagine they all lived on some far side of town. So when I found out one lived just a block away I died a little inside lol
BrobdingnagianBooty · 6 points · Posted at 02:06:37 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
you're giving him too much credit
Feldew · 3 points · Posted at 02:12:12 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you may be right. Lol
ucbiker · 241 points · Posted at 20:50:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Very rarely does something on Reddit make me actually laugh out loud. This is one of those things and it was a full like belly laugh with tears.
connathan · 10 points · Posted at 18:38:30 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sitting in les Schwab crying laughing so hard
morphatoo · 405 points · Posted at 08:09:52 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
As hilariously stupid of a pick up line it is, you have to give Kevin some credit for creativity.
everfalling · 165 points · Posted at 08:44:37 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
actually not really. that line is a pretty old "cheesy" pickup line. usually the less disgusting way you do this is to lick your finger and then touch your shirt and the girls shirt and say "let's get out of these wet clothes."
Big_Bad_Wulf · 154 points · Posted at 10:05:29 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
He fucked that up too.
NightGod · 28 points · Posted at 02:06:58 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is two months late, but that line won me a $50 Fannie Mae gift card when a local radio station had a Valentine's Day "Best Worst Pickup Line" contest.
everfalling · 10 points · Posted at 02:36:35 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nice
CIV_QUICKCASH · 0 points · Posted at 04:08:57 on August 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fucking A
monkeyfett8 · 0 points · Posted at 04:16:46 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I first heard about it in a Ron Swanson thread.
http://youtu.be/TbcFNe4l1kQ
NetaliaLackless24 · 86 points · Posted at 22:15:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You must be a master and holding back laughter. Holy shit.
commatose · 7 points · Posted at 18:18:04 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Love this. The many colours of Kevin have brightened my day once again.
ButtTrumpetSnape · 16 points · Posted at 09:06:50 on June 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you eat them all then puke them up?
moresmarterthanyou · 10 points · Posted at 07:38:28 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
you should retire and write a book of kevin stories
MangoCats · 10 points · Posted at 15:36:32 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
When my son was 1 year old, everything animal was "Cat" - which was cute, because we had a cat that would look in the window at us: "Cat." Very good! Also, people walking their dog "Cat" - no, that one is a dog. Pigeons at the doctor's office "Cats" - now you're just messing with us, right?
kerpandilla · 9 points · Posted at 20:01:42 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
|We were doing an assignment on personification and I had people describe their pets using it. (Welcome to America, where we teach personification in high school, I know).|
Please allow me to let you feel a little better by letting you know that my fourth graders have personification down. I mean, they could use it better than I do, and frankly do each day in their writing.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 02:05:05 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can you just show us a picture of Kevin, I so badly want to see if he is visibly retarded
dominus_nex · 4 points · Posted at 10:51:43 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I may be late, but i request Shitty_Watercolour to do SOMETHING with this.
UrsaPater · 5 points · Posted at 17:50:39 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know how I missed this 5 months ago, but as a former teacher in a really stupid county, I am LOVING this thread. Thank god it wasn't 6 months ago or it would be archived and I couldn't upvote everything you wrote.
I'm dying to know what state you were teaching in!
Garchomp99 · 3 points · Posted at 01:56:40 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry I am so late, but I always come back to this fucking comment. I'm drinking so it makes it even better.
skootch_ginalola · 3 points · Posted at 23:50:26 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
He MUST have had special needs. Or family had inbred. PLEASE give me an excuse of why he was this way.
Blue-Jasmine · 1 points · Posted at 04:29:36 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your kevin stories remind me of tardblog. I loved tardblog.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:39 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pls OP.
ifiasco · 1 points · Posted at 02:57:17 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of the episode of community "Basic Story", where the school was being inspected and the inspector said the city defines a dog as any living creature with four legs and a tail, including bears cats and raccoon, lol!
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 21:38:26 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol. If my teachers had a retard like that for a student, they would just mock them.
cycloneclone · 1 points · Posted at 21:49:24 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Detroit must really suck....
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:50:29 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
shieldvexor · 1 points · Posted at 22:51:11 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
3 lol
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:24:19 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why are you guys reading old threads?
shieldvexor · 1 points · Posted at 23:32:40 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Got linked on ask reddit
boydave777 · 12 points · Posted at 12:10:22 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
this one was also my favorite part! It kind of reminded me of ricky from trailer park boys, when he was complaining about "raycuns" (raccoons) and how he thought they were weird long-snouted cats haha!
teamtardis · 14 points · Posted at 05:42:12 on July 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a seventh grade student who thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.
thebloodofthematador · 5 points · Posted at 19:56:16 on May 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to work with a guy who honestly thought chipmunks were just baby squirrels. When I told him they were two different animals he was flabbergasted.
Not quite on the same level as dogs and cats, but still.
MaxChaplin · 2 points · Posted at 07:26:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Even Baldrick from Blackadder knew that.
utopiameansnowhere · 1046 points · Posted at 17:45:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really didn't understand how dumb his parents were until they went on the trip and forgot their luggage.
NoahtheRed · 938 points · Posted at 17:50:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew something was up from that first meeting, but the luggage story (which was in like, October of that year) was where suddenly everything made sense.
[deleted] · 1289 points · Posted at 22:34:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seriously, the amount of steps necessary to forget your luggage makes it seem literally impossible. "Do you have any luggage to check?"
"No."
Insidious_Pie · 359 points · Posted at 23:53:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
although you get to that point and probably don't have time to go home and get it before your flight takes off. and someone stupid enough to leave the luggage necessary for a trip to Nassau at home would probably be stupid enough to go to Nassau anyway luggage or no luggage.
ItinerantSoldier · 514 points · Posted at 00:57:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Considering his name's Kevin here (for anonymity purposes), I'm surprised they didn't leave him behind as well.
ncocca · 151 points · Posted at 17:59:18 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Home Alone! It took me a few, but i got it...good reference =)
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 14:44:40 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Curiousitivity · 6 points · Posted at 14:45:20 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pat, pat there there. Every little thing is gonna be alright ♫
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:12:04 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh oh, I know this reference! It's a song!
swimmerboy29 · 5 points · Posted at 03:19:50 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
My neighbor's older half brother is named Kevin and he just graduated from high school. I remember her showing me a poem of his about how he always turned things in one day late, including that poem, and also how he would also leave for school about 10 minutes late because he often overslept.
frflewacnasdcn · 17 points · Posted at 21:12:38 on June 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll be honest, if I had made it that far, I'd just go and buy what I needed there. There's nothing so important you can't replace it. Especially in the Bahamas. I mean, a bathing suit and some sandals? No problem!
libertasmens · 16 points · Posted at 21:41:16 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Important missing piece:
looks around, not carrying any luggage
hbomberman · 8 points · Posted at 18:25:21 on August 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Forgetting a bag or passport or something is stupid but understandable. Forgetting all your luggage takes something special
UrsaPater · 2 points · Posted at 17:51:58 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Think of the money they saved on baggage fees!
Jigsus · 15 points · Posted at 22:12:36 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
How can people that stupid afford to go to the Bahamas?
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 07:12:54 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is this kid still with you?
Please try to teach him and his parents to make and religiously follow checklists. It's a simple thing that can fucking save their lives. Or at least remind them to take their luggage when going on a vacation.
hbomberman · 19 points · Posted at 18:24:12 on August 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Teacher, I ate my list"
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 04:05:59 on August 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
LOL
Miltage · 167 points · Posted at 11:23:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It wasn't the part where his mom forgot what school he went to?
KeijyMaeda · 142 points · Posted at 17:08:31 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was horrified when it said she drove there. How did she ever get a license?
brightside03 · 22 points · Posted at 23:56:56 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
That gives me hope, seeing as I've been putting mine off for so long.
theyeticometh · 11 points · Posted at 20:13:43 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you live in a big city, you don't even need a license.
brightside03 · 14 points · Posted at 20:26:44 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow. Lucky you guys.
TrinaryHelix · 5 points · Posted at 14:02:14 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
She probably doesn't.
lucythelumberjack · 12 points · Posted at 08:43:20 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
That sounds like a children's book series I read as a kid. Meet The Stupids or something like that.
EmoKidSid · 2 points · Posted at 23:02:39 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I totally forgot about them! Thanks for the reminder. My gma would be so pissed every time I brought one of those books home lol
bdunbar · 3 points · Posted at 14:44:10 on May 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can see it happening to so-called normal people.
Wife thinks husband loaded the bags in the trunk, husband things wife got them, hop in the car, and go.
I don't think it's telling on myself to relate that I forgot my plane tickets once, in the same manner.
redditsoaddicting · 571 points · Posted at 21:32:42 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZhjLcPGNyA
NoahtheRed · 451 points · Posted at 23:46:48 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is literally what I played on my smartboard the next day he was in class.
fairydustandunicorns · 149 points · Posted at 01:03:04 on July 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just want to thank you for introducing the gloriousness that is The I.T Crowd to those young minds and Kevin's dumb one.
DrMarioLutherKing · -105 points · Posted at 21:24:13 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
le IT crowd meme
Annja · 547 points · Posted at 18:25:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have to ask... was he popular with the girls?
NoahtheRed · 2862 points · Posted at 19:08:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was like watching a greased up orangutan try to climb a water slide.
NetaliaLackless24 · 457 points · Posted at 22:16:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP you are killing it with the analogies today.
magicpostit · 438 points · Posted at 20:29:35 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's a side effect of teaching. When you spend a large amount of time explaining things to people, especially the same thing over and over again, you eventually just try to find new ways to say it so you don't bore yourself to death.
SteveCFE · 1421 points · Posted at 23:13:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just had an appendectomy and cannot stop laughing.
Seriously, fuck you.
superspeck · 259 points · Posted at 03:10:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sympathy up-vote.
SteveCFE · 109 points · Posted at 07:01:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Appreciated :)
MissPetrova · 6 points · Posted at 02:52:02 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh God the post-appendectomy giggles. I know your pain :(
Imthedaddy11 · 17 points · Posted at 08:32:19 on April 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
i know that feeling, sorry bro have some sympathy gold
SteveCFE · 9 points · Posted at 08:52:44 on April 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks man, gonna figure out what it does now...
Imthedaddy11 · 17 points · Posted at 09:17:00 on April 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
i have no idea either
zephyre23 · 3 points · Posted at 16:17:31 on August 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
Feel your pain
lazypilgrim · 124 points · Posted at 21:06:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought your replies couldn't get funnier then I read this LOL
sunny_bell · 51 points · Posted at 02:20:41 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am DYING of laughter right now.
kre8rix · 36 points · Posted at 00:21:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/stanisms
SirPunchy · 16 points · Posted at 09:20:09 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
You have such a beautiful way with words!
UrsaPater · 7 points · Posted at 17:53:05 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
my god. I've been depressed for a month and I just laughed more since reading this one comment than I've laughed during August. Thank you.
NoahtheRed · 6 points · Posted at 18:17:34 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Glad I could brighten your mood :)
UrsaPater · 5 points · Posted at 18:21:33 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's like the gift that keeps on giving!
So did "Kevin" contribute to your decision to stop teaching? Mine was mostly politics in education and special ed law in Vermont, which sucks ass. If you don't mind my asking, what are you doing now?
NoahtheRed · 11 points · Posted at 18:28:26 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not really. I said it elsewhere, but there was a certain amount of comic relief from Kevin. If he was going to be trouble in my classroom, it happened before we finished the warmup activity. If he behaved through that 10-15 minutes, he was fine for the rest of the period.
I left due to a combination of events....but in general it was just that I didn't enjoy it. I had to convince myself to wake up and go to work every morning and spent more of the day just counting down to 3pm. Life is too short to work a job you hate.
Now I work for a govt contractor doing software testing and technical writing. Better pay. Less stress. And better opportunities than would have ever been possible teaching.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 21:41:33 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sir. I love you. You make me feel so much better about myself while entertaining with this Kevin story. I apologize for the month long reply. This is the first time I saw this thread and it was hilarious.
tractor_fart · 10 points · Posted at 01:12:32 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
So he was smooth?
NoahtheRed · 31 points · Posted at 18:41:55 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
He thought he was, but he got no traction and never got anywhere regardless of what he did.....until apparently he did.
kikidiwasabi · 3 points · Posted at 01:27:46 on July 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
He did? Do tell!
Haltgamer · 8 points · Posted at 03:28:30 on August 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
He did. He describes the gal somewhere lower down.
tractor_fart · 2 points · Posted at 03:09:52 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Slippy fish......
arcaneartist · 5 points · Posted at 07:00:28 on April 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god, the imagery. I love it.
prone_to_laughter · 2 points · Posted at 15:06:18 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm probably just stupid, but I can't figure out if that means it was going VERY well or not well at all
JangoBunBun · 2 points · Posted at 21:41:54 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm using this. Hope you don't mind.
kingofcupcakes · 1 points · Posted at 03:02:02 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I may be retarded but what does that mean?
Mythnam · 24 points · Posted at 04:29:03 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Basically an exercise in futility; it would be very difficult to climb a water slide normally, but impossible while greased up. And orangutans are both funny-looking and very big and heavy, which would compound the difficulty and provides a funnier image for the reader.
SpankyJones10 · 1196 points · Posted at 18:17:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin flashin' dat greeeeen.
SirLockHomes · 1376 points · Posted at 14:06:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Here's eleven dollars Mr. Teacher. $1 $1.
"Kevin that's two dollars"
[deleted] · 296 points · Posted at 13:09:39 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
panken · 131 points · Posted at 15:05:03 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
$17...wait what?
Thatguywiththename1 · 15 points · Posted at 21:49:53 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/XS5LK I feel internet-old
KeijyMaeda · 19 points · Posted at 17:05:53 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
After watching that movie five times it JUST NOW occurred to me that Steve must be super happy about getting a reference. What with having been asleep for decades and all.
CantMakeWittyPuns · 4 points · Posted at 05:45:20 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I ain't gonna lie. I was born to be a ball playa.
waitttwatwhyyy · 0 points · Posted at 05:36:25 on September 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
whyy
UrsaPater · 2 points · Posted at 17:58:08 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks Spanky, you made me laugh so hard I choked on the sip of coffee I had just drank. Worth it.
Taph · 447 points · Posted at 23:25:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
His real name was Ralph Wiggum, wasn't it?
Yum_Cantelope_Vegas · 31 points · Posted at 07:16:42 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ralph was actually very intelligent, but was too agressive and sadistic.
Judge_Cat · 20 points · Posted at 01:37:50 on May 13, 2014 · (Permalink)
Michael J. Caboose perhaps? (A reference to a character in a popular web-series Red vs Blue)
hrb_ninja · 33 points · Posted at 06:54:13 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Give him credit, not even Caboose was this dumb
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 01:09:38 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
If it wasn't for Sheila, He would be.
LogoTanFlip · 20 points · Posted at 20:01:19 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
"MY NAME IS MICHEAL J. CABOOSE, AND I.. HATE.. BABIES!"
Lukas_Fehrwight · -7 points · Posted at 16:33:51 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think his name was Streetlamp LeMoose.
SlightlyStoopid88 · 198 points · Posted at 18:40:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is the best thing I've read on here in a while. I lost it at "I have no idea where he got crayons" and haven't stopped after that.
KingZant · 140 points · Posted at 21:43:35 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew it was gonna be good when OP said "Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway."
Carwheel · 1550 points · Posted at 01:03:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think I must have gone to high school with Kevin's cousin. We'll call her Kelly.
Kelly also found it difficult to remember when/where her classes were. We went to a tiny school, there were four possible classrooms to choose from. She showed up on the weekends sometimes.
Kelly pulled the fire alarm because she "wanted to know what it would do." Not once. Not twice. Three separate times.
And the real kicker: It took Kelly until 10th grade to realize she was left handed. She had always just thought her left hand was her right hand because it was the one she wrote with.
icemancad · 285 points · Posted at 17:06:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That last one is very easy to explain.
WRITE handed....Right handed
palindromereverser · 87 points · Posted at 22:00:34 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Have you been in that situation as well?
icemancad · 39 points · Posted at 03:23:05 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
i have had my share of student teaching to know that many students in highschool just dont seem to understand the difference between left and right. and sometimes i hope i can blame it on a homophone instead of idioacy.
caeliter · 16 points · Posted at 02:30:49 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
This makes me happy inside, I was ambidextrous, and as a child it made it difficult to learn my lefts and rights... I thought I was stupid because it took me until 4th grade...
(I over compensated by being obnoxiously smart at other things... eventually I grew out of that phase and am back to being a regular old idiot)
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 03:58:05 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bottiglie · 14 points · Posted at 04:03:17 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)*
OVERWRITE What is this?
Agothro · 2 points · Posted at 04:03:59 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep.
TheRealCT · 5 points · Posted at 07:28:31 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to write with my left hand, then I became ambidextrous and now i only write with my right hand. I think is has something to do with my amnesia like condition.
morriscey · 2 points · Posted at 19:42:39 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
then what the fuck did they think left handed was? a one armed person?
mycleverusername · 526 points · Posted at 14:41:44 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well the last one is legit because it was her "write" hand. Something like 70% of the population writes with their right hand. Cognates are confusing. Still dumb, but I get it.
1D4lyfe · 222 points · Posted at 22:42:35 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not a cognate, cognates indicate similar etymology. Homophone.
str8upblah · 397 points · Posted at 10:59:34 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
No need for name-calling, you homophonic bastard.
Mrlector · 58 points · Posted at 07:21:55 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm about to smack you upside the cognate.
gorammitMal · 7 points · Posted at 01:33:37 on August 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
now now, no need to be calling people homonyms.
curlyben · 6 points · Posted at 19:59:06 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Perhaps meant "false cognate."
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 23:02:12 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, it wouldn't be a false cognate either. It's a homophone.
An example of a false cognate would be the German word "gift." You'd think it would mean the same as the English word gift, since they're spelled the same. It would just make sense that they have similar etymologies and the spelling didn't change over the years, so both languages have the same word for gift.
But actually, the German word "gift" means poison. That's a false cognate.
curlyben · 7 points · Posted at 00:03:53 on July 28, 2014 · (Permalink)*
1) I suggested that perhaps the commenter meant to say they were false cognates rather than cognates, which I believed to be a more reasonable suggestion. My comment does not specifically mention whether I thought this an appropriate description of the words.
2) False cognates have similar form and meaning but different etymologies. In your example the words are homonyms and false friends but not false cognates.
3) Right and write are similar in phonological form and at least somewhat in meaning (in that most people write with their right hand) but differ in origin and thus may be considered false cognates.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 01:17:40 on July 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks for correcting me
teamtardis · 1 points · Posted at 05:43:34 on July 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
Plus, homophones are not all that confusing.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:18:44 on July 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
teamtardis · 1 points · Posted at 02:55:44 on July 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes, in r/MUSEUMOFREDDIT
fuzzzone · 246 points · Posted at 19:14:28 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
More like 90%.
MsPenguinette · 121 points · Posted at 21:01:02 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Naw. 20% just don't write.
Willyjwade · 3 points · Posted at 10:26:49 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would assume that number is higher.
MsPenguinette · 6 points · Posted at 13:46:44 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
50 days later. Damn, what are you doing in the past?
Willyjwade · 5 points · Posted at 15:02:15 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a link in a thread earlier and I forgot I wasn't in a current thread when I responded to you.
MsPenguinette · 2 points · Posted at 16:51:30 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, good show.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:34:28 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hi guys!
MsPenguinette · 2 points · Posted at 15:51:46 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Since you are from the past, find me and tell me to renew my tag. 45 days ago is sufficient.
thenichi · 2 points · Posted at 17:10:32 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shouldn't there be some % that are missing one or more hands?
MsPenguinette · 2 points · Posted at 19:49:10 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
First of all, why are you commenting on a post from 2 months ago? Are you from the past?
Second, people who don't write due to disabilities are included in the number of people who just don't write. Who knows tho, I wrote that comment 2 months ago.
thenichi · 3 points · Posted at 20:01:37 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
They do write, just not with hands.
MsPenguinette · 2 points · Posted at 20:13:36 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Touche, never mind. I wasn't even thinking.
Mattpilf · 1 points · Posted at 02:04:40 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think he's from the past!
MsPenguinette · 1 points · Posted at 02:58:07 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT?!
Mattpilf · 1 points · Posted at 03:20:30 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's called necredditing.
MsPenguinette · 1 points · Posted at 03:23:10 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Necromancy? I knew it was some form of witchcraft.
libertasmens · 4 points · Posted at 21:38:40 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Proud 10%'er, checking in.
thenichi · 1 points · Posted at 17:09:57 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Idnit like 5/6?
findgretta · 1 points · Posted at 15:10:17 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is an exception to the rule and clearly not for anything other than a fun fact
Two thirds of my mum's family are lefties. Parents and two sons are lefties while the two daughters are the only righties.
modernbenoni · 1 points · Posted at 22:59:08 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah but 100% of the population writes with their write hand
wredditcrew · 14 points · Posted at 16:04:53 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is she really hot, with a dad who works in a shoe store and a stay-at-home mom and a boring brother?
MadAtHubby · 3 points · Posted at 16:54:57 on July 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Am I the only one to get that reference?? Even 4 months later? Jiminy Christmas!
UrsaPater · 3 points · Posted at 18:03:01 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Love and marriage, love and marriage....
Kittae · 24 points · Posted at 17:31:10 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Being left-handed, you internalize "dominant hand" too. I have to make the L with my thumb and finger to remember which is which still, because "dominant hand" means "right hand" and so I don't always remember I'm left-handed.
Don't judge me
jmerridew124 · 18 points · Posted at 18:22:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No judging here. The world is designed around us righties.
Paramars · 22 points · Posted at 11:27:25 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Sounds like his other cousin in my class, let's say, Kel. Last year, when she was 16, she did not know that the sun and the moon were two separate things. Like, she was genuinely shocked when she discovers it in science class.
The worst thing is that this grade is like a few years prior to university.
dangerchrisN · 16 points · Posted at 07:42:34 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
I accidentally convinced my 22 year old girlfriend that the moon was the back side of the sun.
ThirdFloorGreg · 7 points · Posted at 21:07:40 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let's see, I don't belive in 5he moon, I think it's just the back of the sun...
PineconeShuff · 7 points · Posted at 20:27:56 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
i think Kelly was confusing "right" with "correct"
blynn1975 · 675 points · Posted at 18:04:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is the best one, IMO.
NoahtheRed · 1395 points · Posted at 18:08:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wasn't at the game, but my instructional lead texted me that night with a picture of Kevin sitting on the tailgate of an ambulance surrounded by security and just the words "Isn't he one of yours?" He was mostly fine, but it looked like he had been bitten by a vampire that wore socks on the carpet too much. No one knows where he got the taser or what happened to it.
SlideRuleLogic · 539 points · Posted at 03:46:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your last sentence is the very best part. My god - this is beautiful.
Domriso · 624 points · Posted at 04:46:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"You said he tazed himself?"
"Yeah! I saw him playing with it, and then he accidentally got himself in the neck!"
"Where did the tazer go?"
"He put it in his pocket after we picked him off the ground."
"...He's not wearing pants."
[deleted] · 118 points · Posted at 16:58:25 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
He must be the Dragonborn.
Bradhan · 20 points · Posted at 04:44:49 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just laughed so much that I started choking on my spit. Then I rolled off the bed and took myself and my dog down to the floor while I sputtered uncontrollably. Thank you so much for almost killing me and my pet.
Domriso · 8 points · Posted at 05:03:00 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's the first time I think I've ever heard that said even somewhat straightforward...
swimmerboy29 · 25 points · Posted at 03:22:17 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm literally rolling on the floor now
The_hat_king · 13 points · Posted at 18:17:24 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
He seems like a cartoon character in that he can just randomly acquire objects like crayons and tazers.
Mustaka · 193 points · Posted at 14:04:21 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should write do a blog with Kevin stories. Just one short paragraph a day like the one above will do.
wetmore · 15 points · Posted at 23:46:49 on June 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brick, where did you get a grenade?
GinaBones · 12 points · Posted at 16:16:02 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just came and read all of this from a link in another thread. And OMG, that Kevin is a real life Peter Griffin!
tigrrbaby · 12 points · Posted at 10:01:10 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I made it through this whole thread and this vampire analogy killed me. I sincerely hope to hear more someday. Thank you :)
midwestredditor · 13 points · Posted at 15:54:33 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin comments were linked in another /r/askreddit thread, which lead me here.
These last two lines
Literally have my crying with laughter.
pointman · 7 points · Posted at 02:48:57 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
How do you not know what happened to the taser? Wouldn't it be with him as he falls to the ground? Sounds suspiciously like someone else tased him.
thenichi · 5 points · Posted at 17:12:09 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why the fuck are there tasers laying around?
WittiestScreenName · 2 points · Posted at 18:58:30 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's frightening.
amIrealorareyoufake · 2 points · Posted at 13:26:34 on July 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Brick where did you get the hand grenade?" ... "I don't know"
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 23:17:52 on July 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
lawlz
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:41:46 on April 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
I want to know how Kevin got his hands on a tazer.
bastocrat · 1738 points · Posted at 17:48:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Kevin- a diagnosis, not a name.
EDIT: Thanks for the Gold!
NoahtheRed · 1841 points · Posted at 17:54:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was the hardest pill to swallow. Despite numerous tests and assessments and meetings and just overall study, no one could ever say he had any kind of learning disability. No IEP. No 504. No special file. No case worker or advocate. Just, Kevin, his mom, his dad, and zero brain matter.
_Z_E_R_O · 465 points · Posted at 21:05:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
From r/science: "Scientists find gene which is linked to exceptionally low IQ in children"
Link
hanselpremium · 722 points · Posted at 01:46:41 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can we call this the "Kevin" gene?
zephyre23 · 12 points · Posted at 16:21:23 on August 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
We can petition to call it the Kevin gene
BrobdingnagianBooty · 3 points · Posted at 02:13:30 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
how long has this been at 666?
hanselpremium · 6 points · Posted at 02:38:48 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
lol didn't even notice this. the comment is 5 months old now, so I'm guessing at least 4 months.
[deleted] · 239 points · Posted at 01:50:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't buy it. You would think it is genetic since the entire family is like that, but something is off. You don't grow up that stupid and survive, so genes that bad, in the age of the automobile, should be pretty much gone. That, and (I assume) the parents aren't related making it somewhat coincidental that they could all be so incredibly dumb. If you somehow did make it to adulthood, you would have some pretty serious coping mechanisms. Ok, math, lets get the fingers out. Ok, I'm leaving the house, get the list and the helmet. You would have some idea that you were stupid.
Something happened to make these people stupid. My guess is some kind of gas leak or carbon monoxide poisoning.
wardstone7 · 139 points · Posted at 14:00:21 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wouldn't assume that - my sister in law is very proud to tell you that her family tree goes straight up.
dadirabyt · 69 points · Posted at 01:13:14 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
And your brother married her?
wardstone7 · 167 points · Posted at 01:23:30 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's a very complicated story, but the gist is that he's really fat and didn't think he could find anyone else.
uberguby · 28 points · Posted at 11:12:26 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well good for him, she sounds like an absolute peach.
[deleted] · 84 points · Posted at 15:50:39 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, peaches grow on branches, she said her tree goes straight up, so only a trunk.
LordViren · 14 points · Posted at 14:00:32 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is she hot?
tarnax10 · 15 points · Posted at 21:32:14 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
The only question that really matters I guess.
MadBotanist · 7 points · Posted at 16:25:10 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Plus its tradition...
akmarksman · 7 points · Posted at 05:34:43 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Would her last name include Lannister?
StrmSrfr · 221 points · Posted at 14:10:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Assuming the parents aren't related, you have to remember than no one would have a child with someone that stupid unless they were also that stupid.
heartles · 21 points · Posted at 00:42:58 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Darwin's theory of stupidity.
[deleted] · 28 points · Posted at 19:08:24 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Survival of the dimwittest
libertasmens · 8 points · Posted at 21:35:03 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's the thing; mentally handicapped persons can end up with a "normal" spouse, because such handicaps often limit only certain functionality but keep others.
When you're just plain stupid, it's hard to find someone to put up with it who isn't just as stupid.
Hirumaru · 4 points · Posted at 12:20:47 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or she had really nice cans.
StrmSrfr · 2 points · Posted at 17:17:19 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin's dad?
BarelyLethal · 64 points · Posted at 19:55:00 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe they just watch TLC every free second of every day in between eating lead paint.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 07:11:42 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
You also have to remember that stupid people have a knack for finding one another and procreating. Rapidly.
brufleth · 4 points · Posted at 11:25:51 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe you've just avoided them but I run into stupid all the time.
Just this past weekend we were camping. While checking into the campground the nice young person at the desk told us to let them know right away if someone violated quiet hours which started at ten. Then immediately followed that up by saying they were there until nine. I'm pretty sure her brain reset mid conversation.
Psionx0 · 175 points · Posted at 00:25:37 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
LD's often don't include simple low intelligence. The kid probably scored in the upper 80's, lower 90's and so wouldn't qualify for an LD Dx. Which, is unfortunate.
NoahtheRed · 333 points · Posted at 00:43:38 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, this was our main concensus by midyear. When badgered heavily, he scored more or less in the middle of the 2nd quartile. His DORA and DOMA scores were low, but not low enough to really indicate he was hitting a blocker with instruction.
Folks always talk about how people typically fall on a bell curve.....well, Kevin was the poor sap at the low end.
FLR21 · 49 points · Posted at 03:26:58 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
What were his parents' professions?
InIt4TehLulz · 33 points · Posted at 02:37:01 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP pls
Comatose_NY · 117 points · Posted at 23:27:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
404 brain not found
calladus · 31 points · Posted at 20:49:46 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. You just get the "wait" icon... and it never goes away.
bastocrat · 51 points · Posted at 18:01:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now why do I have to think of the "Royal Tenenbaums"?
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 01:06:00 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm going to watch this now.
KingWiltyMan · -1 points · Posted at 11:00:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's good, but not as wonderful as some other Wes Anderson films.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:26:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
OK so I watched it and I liked it.
Care to recommend any other Wes Anderson films? I've seen The Darjeeling Limited which wasn't my favourite film ever.
KingWiltyMan · 3 points · Posted at 16:53:03 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fantastic Mr Fox is one of my favourite films ever. Grand Budapest Hotel (in cinemas now, in the UK at least) is incredible. Moonrise Kingdom is utterly charming.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:23:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank ya kindly.
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 02:11:07 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought grand Budapest hotel was annoying
akai_ferret · 2 points · Posted at 21:03:30 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Some people don't seem to like it but "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" is one of my favorite movies.
Certainly my favorite Wes Anderson movie.
notthepapa · 26 points · Posted at 23:26:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I saw some sociopathic tendencies (no empathy and such), but then it truly does not explain the rest of his dumbness.
WANKINGAMA · 9 points · Posted at 21:23:01 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where did you see no empathy?
CaigeSpade · 12 points · Posted at 16:01:36 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stealing phones and spitting on girls
WANKINGAMA · 14 points · Posted at 16:07:36 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Could aswell be no consequence understanding or control like with adhd and aspergers or autism.
Savingable · 10 points · Posted at 18:28:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sociopaths are at least normally smart, not dumb as shit.
notthepapa · 19 points · Posted at 21:21:31 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Theyre actually average intelligence. There are smart, average and dumb ones. But yeah, not this dumb :)
esmejones · 10 points · Posted at 19:16:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was going to ask about this. Fascinating.
dogheadpall · 9 points · Posted at 19:38:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
beautiful
pointman · 6 points · Posted at 02:43:25 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe The Waterboy was based on him.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120484/
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 05:15:01 on April 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah it sounds more like ignorance than anything else.
I don't always laugh about idiots or ignorants but I've got to admit that Kevin is a special case...
Do you know what is he doing now?
Spin_me_right_round2 · 4 points · Posted at 17:36:09 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just, Kevin, his mom, his dad, and zero brain matter.
Hahaha made my life! Thanks for the best laugh in a long time!
Dane_makus · 2 points · Posted at 07:20:33 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
I get this man, in middle school I had this kid named Patrick, who had in learning disabilities but was just plain lacking in brain matter
galdanna · 2 points · Posted at 13:52:07 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a Teacher Consultant in a school district I see this happen all of the time. There are some kids that are like this that are "too high" on the "right categories" to qualify them for an IEP/504. It BLOWS my mind! (I usually find one sub-sub-sub-sub category to throw them a bone if they are students that are generally struggling. But he didn't have much up-top, then adding in attendance/moving around too much as factors I'm sure no one was going to throw him a bone!) This made me laugh so hard though NoahtheRed thank you! I have so many stories about students, but it is more of funny things that happened not "dumb" students. :)
MJWood · 1 points · Posted at 13:21:19 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
All psychological?
adh247 · 1 points · Posted at 04:49:30 on August 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
It sounds.like he just never learned and thought os school as a place to hang out. Did he ever pass your class or get held back?
flamedarkfire · 4 points · Posted at 04:34:29 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I'm sorry ma'am, your son has a severe case of... Kevin."
dramatic music
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 02:53:29 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dammit my name is Kevin.
ritmusic2k · 0 points · Posted at 22:58:18 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you're smart enough to know how to properly spell 'dammit'...
LookAround · 2 points · Posted at 00:25:43 on April 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
:(
RorariiRS · 1 points · Posted at 00:51:03 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
You just decided to edit this four months after you got gold? Silly man
bastocrat · 1 points · Posted at 05:49:27 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, got gold after 4 months.
RorariiRS · 1 points · Posted at 14:24:27 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow
bastocrat · 1 points · Posted at 17:11:15 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, it surprised me too.
TheTrueFlexKavana · 129 points · Posted at 17:03:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When can we expect his reality TV show?
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 00:46:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd totally watch that stuff
blamb211 · 10 points · Posted at 06:03:47 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe there already is this show. They call it Honey Boo-Boo.
IAMBATMAN29 · 236 points · Posted at 19:21:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I taught for a couple of years. Would have been really hard not to put this kid's head through a wall. From what I can tell it probably wouldn't have hurt him anyway.
NoahtheRed · 623 points · Posted at 19:27:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He was in a class with two other knuckleheads, but both of them were the "Too smart to do any work" types so they were more of a problem than Kevin. Both of them had 504s and I had 11 or 12 kids with IEPs in there, so I had a collaborative to split the effort with. 4th period with Kevin could go one of two ways: Either he'd do something so incredibly stupid within the first 10 minutes that he'd be gone most of class, or he'd just kind of simmer for the whole period and get everything wrong but not cause problems. So honestly, his behavior problems didn't get to me too much.
Really, I waited for every other monday so I could find out what new and stupid thing he or his family did.
IAMBATMAN29 · 168 points · Posted at 19:34:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've had kids like that. Either get everything wrong or do something stupid. They weren't near as bad as this kid seems to have been though. They might have done some dumb or mean spirited shit, but I don't ever recall one of them eating a box of crayons two days in a row. And one of these kids was a crack baby whose mother had AIDS.
NoahtheRed · 454 points · Posted at 19:37:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, that was the magical thing about Kevin. I can think of several students who did things that were easily way dumber than the stuff Kevin did....but they also did things that were intelligent, or at least not-unintelligent most of the time. Kevin was just constant, consistent stupidity.
ANAL_ANARCHY · 138 points · Posted at 06:21:51 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What sort of work did Kevins family do? Did they have cars? Could they drive? Did you keep in contact after Kevin left your class? More Kevin please.
NoahtheRed · 352 points · Posted at 11:50:01 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure his mother was some kind of physical therapist. His dad? No idea. I only met him a few times, but he always wore a pretty nice suit or at least business casual. They both drove decently new cars and his house was in a nice subdivision. I'm assuming that for what they lacked in common sense, they made up for in some kind of specialized knowledge. For all I know, his dad could have been a brilliant plastic surgeon....but an idiot in every other regard. They were both nice people.
After I left teaching, I got periodic updates on Kevin (as well as other students) from my friends still working there. I haven't heard anything recently though.
didIupsetyou · 162 points · Posted at 06:16:44 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Sorry for the late reply, I followed a link in Ask Reddit, and I can't help but chime in.
This gives me A LOT of hope. I was just researching fetal alcohol syndrome because A LOT of the struggles they have with things are very similar to my own, and I do have an underdeveloped jaw, and I guess my mid face is a bit flat, and my head is small. I don't know if my mom drank while she pregnant with me, but she was an alcoholic afterwards. I AM diagnosed with hypothyroidism so maybe that's the cause behind all my problems but I can relate to people with FAS better, though my problems aren't as severe, but still, the poor judgment, poor money handling, hyper-sexuality, lack of impulse control especially, and the problems dealing with emotions.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I've held employment for over 6 years, no gaps between 3 employers and held my own apartment for over 5 years without too much help, except I had to ask my dad for money about 3 or 4 times, but on just one 40 hour week, $10 an hour income, I supported two people for about 3 years total between two dead beat boyfriends. I didn't have to ask for money until my my second DBB got me back to smoking weed and we were both psychologically dependent on it, which I know is pathetic and also another reason I'm paranoid, lack of impulse control much? So many disorders and syndromes have overlapping symptoms, how does anyone get a proper diagnosis?
TL;DR I'm really stupid, worried about FAS, and these people make me feel that even I can make it in the world.
goatcoat · 125 points · Posted at 17:44:31 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're a lot more together than you think. Five years of solid employment is nothing to sneeze at. Have you read up on impostor syndrome?
st_gulik · 26 points · Posted at 09:30:07 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your grammar is a lot better than most stupid as well.
parentingandvice · 14 points · Posted at 06:04:17 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was reading the reasons you gave for feeling stupid:
This doesn't seem like something that's exclusive to dumb people. I do these too, and I tell myself I'm stupid, but I also know many people have a hard time with most of these, all at the same time.
It might be more of a psychological thing if anything at all even (like, stemming for a lack of confidence, or anxiety, or something that sounds small). Could just be part of growing up. I'm not a doctor, it's just my opinion.
I remember taking a psychology class where we learned about different parts of the brain and their effect on our behaviour. I learned the Amygdala, a part of the brain in charge of strong emotional reactions develops during adolescence much faster than your cortex, which is associated with rational thinking, planning ahead, complex thoughts. So when you're a teen, there's a while when you are just this hormone saturated being that has very little control over impulses and strong emotions. The cortex doesn't catch up until you are 25, when you are finally more capable of logical, rational thinking. It could be that you haven't finished developing.
dinkypickles · 6 points · Posted at 16:46:50 on September 15, 2014 · (Permalink)
You might want to talk to a psychologist. Some of those symptoms read like bi-polar disorder.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:51:29 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I really wouldn't worry about it. You're way more together than me, and I'm a burnt out physics child progidy... Which I have no idea if you understand... Look, my point is that you're doing better than most of the people I know, given that it sounds like you're in your mid-twenties. Also, I can tell from your writing your not that stupid.
parentingandvice · 8 points · Posted at 06:05:25 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not nice!
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 06:13:14 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
...She's just said that she's mildly retarded. And yeah, no shit Sir Peter Wimsey.
parentingandvice · 2 points · Posted at 05:54:32 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
High five for Scrubs!
WittiestScreenName · 1 points · Posted at 19:01:59 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
We need updates.
[deleted] · 111 points · Posted at 13:16:45 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Non native english speaker here, what learning disabillities are 504 and IEP
NoahtheRed · 313 points · Posted at 14:04:18 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
IEP is an Individual Education Plan and it essentially lays out the needs of the student as it pertains to a learning disability. They can cover things as minor as a student needing to take their tests in a quiet room to needing a full time advocate that goes with them to every single class. Sometimes IEPs are only relevant in certain subjects. I had kids in my honors classes with IEPs that only had accommodations in math class. To my memory, I never had a class that didn't have someone with an IEP. They were extremely common and for the most part, pretty reasonable. Most students with IEPs were aware of what it entailed and frequently worked hard to compensate. If you have a significant number of students with one in a class, you typically have a collaborative teacher who assists/splits the load (or does jack shit, depending on who they were).
Because English was required every year (in VA, you can graduate with 3 maths, sciences, and civics classes....but you must have 4 years of English lit/comp), I was typically the one tapped to sit in on IEP meetings for each of my students. My entire September and October was nothing but IEP meetings where parents, advocates, etc would determine what accommodations a student needed. All of this was very structured and if we didn't meet the accommodations, it was serious shit. Most of the time, the accommodations were reasonable and sane, but there was always a few that made zero sense or were entirely unreasonable.
504s were health and behavioral. Things like ADD, ADHD, emotional issues, physical needs, etc were covered by the 504. As bad as it sounds, a 504 was usually a huge red flag. If you saw "Please see counselor: 504 req" in the roster comments for a student, it usually meant "You are about to embark on a journey through the valley of bullshit." The legal requirements concerning how things were worded or explained were vague and at times, arbitrary. Things like "Cannot be required to lift heavy things" would bite you in the ass hard because it was entirely subjective what "heavy things" were. I got in trouble because I made a kid take his textbook home on a night that he had to take other textbooks home. This is also where I learned about Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Essentially, ODD is the mental health term for "Cannot control temper" and it's becoming the new ADD. I had a student throw a shitfit because she wasn't allowed to go to another teacher's room during a test (the other teacher had a class at the time). By shitfit, I mean that she flipped her desk and started screaming at me, the security guard, and everyone between my room and the office. A week later, she had a 504 for ODD and from then on...if she had "an episode", I was to take her across the hall to the copy room and let her blow off steam. If she did anything like attack another student or damage property, she would not be disciplined because she had been diagnosed with ODD. Her 504 essentially gave her a free pass.
So yeah, 504s were abused like crazy and unfortunately, teachers learned that they were the black flag of doom.
JocelyntheGinger · 56 points · Posted at 15:10:01 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, VA education. My mother teaches multiply disabled elementary school kids and IEPs are the bane of her existence.
Of course, I did have a friend who had a 504 and he was an excellent student. It was just he had a lot of depressive issues and would sometimes miss days of school at a time.
NoahtheRed · 108 points · Posted at 15:37:10 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, 504s covered a massive swath of different things. Everything from food allergies to emotional and non-LD mental issues. I had far more IEPs than 504s, but saw a disproportionately high amount of abuse of 504 accommodations. IEPs had list of possible accommodations, but 504s were bespoke in that regard. You could get a doctor to say your kid needs hourly backrubs and we'd have to accommodate that somehow. The most bullshit ones were typically related to ODD or ADD. That girl I mentioned above who threw a fit and got a 504 afterwards had hers amended the next year to essentially say that if anything student does anything, intentional or not, that could provoke an episode...the other student had to be removed from the room until it passed. Removing her, apparently, could increase the severity of her outbursts because of the "increased stress".
Of course, we also had kids who were given 504s who didn't want them or feel like they needed it. Those were typically the result of overzealous advocates or helicopter parents.
And of course, on the flipside of that were the ones who I wish someone had warned me before I met them.....like Kevin. For all intents and purposes, he should have had a 504.
theinsanity · 22 points · Posted at 03:20:24 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is what I'm gonna do if I ever have a kid.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 00:05:40 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Question- I'm going into my last year of high school pretty soon and I've been diagnosed with ADHD over the summer. I've heard that I could get separate setting for tests- should I go get the IEP? I don't think it'd exactly be too trying for my teachers.
And yeah, there's a lot of people who abuse the ADD or ODD label. I'm related to a few of them, so believe me I sympathize, but dammit it'd be nice to get through a test without focusing on the scratching of pencils and decorational posters on the wall more than the paper in front of me.
Also, this thread is still active, which is interesting.
NoahtheRed · 14 points · Posted at 13:58:42 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Disclaimer: I am not a special education specialist and/or child psychologist. In fact, I don't even have a teaching license anymore.
I would say that it can't hurt to look into it. If you think you'll benefit from having separate testing environments, there's no harm in contacting your guidance counselor now and finding out. However, be warned, it can be difficult given the fact you are going into your senior year. If you've had ADHD for a long time without an IEP, they may be resistant to creating one now.
On the flipside, talk with your teachers. A lot of times, if a student came to me with a reasonable request or asked me a favor (when they didn't have a history of abusing them), I'd be willing to accommodate how I could. In classes that I knew were distracting, I'd regularly split my class between two rooms when possible just to reduce the distraction.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 22:33:50 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks!
Full disclosure: My stepmother is currently going to college for her special education degree, my aunt works in the same field, and my sister has autism. I know more about the IEP system than I really care to, but I wanted to hear from someone who generally dislikes the system.
Thanks for the advice, Red?
_Bones · -2 points · Posted at 09:37:42 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
The other student had to be removed? Seriously?
Fuck this gay Earth.
bdunbar · 5 points · Posted at 14:48:27 on May 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha. My wife was a special ed teacher and .. she didn't hate IEPs. She used them as tools to help the kids she was responsible for.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 09:11:07 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had an IEP in elementary school and middle school because I had dysgraphia. It was a pretty easy accommodation, though. It just said that I had to be allowed to take extra time on tests, I couldn't be made to write in cursive, nor could my grade be negatively affected by my handwriting, and that if I asked for a computer to type on, they had to let me use it. I also had to go to special handwriting classes once a week.
I hated it though... it made me feel dumb to take extra time and I was such an outcast in elementary school I hated doing anything that would make me stand out (like using a laptop). It was just horribly frustrating. I had a 147 IQ and the vocabulary of someone twice my age and a complete inability to express myself in writing. But I saw as something I had to work through that I shouldn't bother others with.
However, as much as I hated taking advantage of my situation, when I look back, I wish I'd told someone about the 6th grade teacher I had who threatened to fail me for not writing in cursive and accidentally mirroring 5 and 6 (they are literally the only numbers that face right). That bitch made me cry.
TheRealCT · 4 points · Posted at 07:57:31 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
i understand how you feel with the complete inability yo express yourself in writing because i can't express myself like that ether.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 02:33:39 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was looking at some of my high school records and apparently I had a 504 for work distractions, witch by what I read on the paper was when I was working I could not be bothered or I would go in to a anxiety attack, I've never had an anxiety attack nor did I go to a meeting or whatever for a 504.
TheQueenOfDiamonds · 70 points · Posted at 20:21:59 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hate that this is the case. I have a 504 for OCPD, anxiety, and ADHD. All of my teachers dread teaching me before they get to know me simply based on that. I'm the valedictorian of 550 students, attending an Ivy League next year, and so forth... but quite a few kids on 504s give the rest of us a bad name. It's highly annoying.
claws_wits · 23 points · Posted at 14:47:29 on April 16, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought you said that you hadn't decided what school you were attending yet? One of your two stated top schools is not even in the Northeast. You also said that you didn't have a definitive diagnosis between OCD and OCPD.
dralcax · 12 points · Posted at 21:54:38 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I swear for every kid in the system with a legitimate mental disorder that needs care and special attention, there's another moron/jackass who essentially have a "generic learning disorder" label slapped onto them and they get babied and given special attention and allowed to get away with being a uncontrollable/lazy/a complete Kevin. They take time and resources away from kids who actually need the help and their own problems, unrelated to any disorder, only get worse.
Also, somebody needs to get their shit together. Even Yugioh cards are worded better than 504s.
Numbnuts50 · 7 points · Posted at 04:24:03 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounded like Kevin just needed a 504 whether he was legitimately disabled or not, which I have a hard time believing he at least wasnt brain damaged.
msheaven · 6 points · Posted at 15:23:32 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have been laughing so hard at this thread until right now...
it scares me to think your former district would throw 504's at students who were entitled to IEP's under SED. With an IEP they would be having FBA's done and you could work with them a hell of a lot better then taking them to the copy room
NoahtheRed · 25 points · Posted at 15:54:19 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
504s were commonly abused because parents and guardians knew how incredibly flexible they were. My district had no backbone when it came to things like that. In her case, she had a huge anger issue that stemmed from the fact she never got told "No" and had never really been held accountable for anything. She didn't need an IEP or a 504. She needed a reality check.
2OQuestions · 5 points · Posted at 15:35:05 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Teens are given the ODD diagnosis because the DSM disallows diagnosing them with anti-social personality disorder until they are over the age of 18.
scribbling_des · 3 points · Posted at 14:13:27 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, IEP doesn't always mean there is a disability. They are also required for gifted students.
NoahtheRed · 3 points · Posted at 01:53:53 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is correct, but it's extremely rare since typically....if you need accommodations for above-average intelligence, you just go to a better school with a better program entirely.
IEPs covered ANY modification to a student's education outside the typical scope of a normal classroom.
scribbling_des · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:09 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know what a better school has to do with it. I went to the best schools in my state and I had IEP conferences every year. I was in the gifted program.
And it wasn't rare at all. It was required for every student in the gifted program as gifted is considered special ed. (at least in my state).
NoahtheRed · 2 points · Posted at 02:05:21 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
In Virginia, you only get one if you'd require something above and beyond normal classroom content. If you are in a gifted program, the things you'd need are already part of it, therefore the IEP is moot.
In 4 years, I had one student with an IEP for anything like that. Hers basically stipulated that she was on the roster for a Calculus class, but was actually taking DE college stat or something. Otherwise, most kids who would be considered gifted went to schools in our district with magnet or IB programs.
scribbling_des · -2 points · Posted at 02:07:44 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
All of the schools I went to were magnet schools, they all had gifted programs, and they all requires IEP.
Edit: the entire school was a magnet in each case, not just a school with a magnet program.
NoahtheRed · 2 points · Posted at 02:10:18 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, it differs from state to state. I've heard some districts go as far as having an IEP for every student across the board, which seems like a nightmare.
HerpDerpMapleSerp · 2 points · Posted at 03:37:01 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
How is this thread still going on?
-Baker · 2 points · Posted at 05:41:53 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seriously, it's been five months. I think that this might be the longest running thread on reddit
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:04:19 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a 504, but that was a carry-over from when young me had trouble sitting still with my ADHD. It was basically that if I needed to do a lap around the class, I could do so, as long as I don't interrupt the teachers lesson too much. And sometimes I did.
TheRealCT · 0 points · Posted at 07:53:25 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
from what i know these are not things in the school system where I live.
PineconeShuff · 3 points · Posted at 20:35:26 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
We really need a thread of just weekend updates from the Kevin Family
XenomorphSB · 2 points · Posted at 22:55:41 on June 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not entirely related, but as an ADHDer with an IEP all for years of high school, I want to thank you and every other teacher that bends over backwards to help people like myself get an education and a fair chance. I can't imagine 11 or 12 IEPs to work with in one class. Good on ya.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:39:52 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
12 IEPs in one class? You're a saint!
Dancingspaghetti69 · 0 points · Posted at 15:22:25 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Upvote for being able to spell 'taught' correctly.
Mellanslaget · 431 points · Posted at 17:41:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is the best post I've read in weeks. I think I'm in love with Kevin.
eatgeeksleeprepeat · 256 points · Posted at 18:28:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Me too. It's too bad we can't get a weekly report of his activities for entertainment...
Mindsweeper · 180 points · Posted at 22:05:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Kevin Show.
NetaliaLackless24 · 70 points · Posted at 22:14:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would love for there to be an /r/Kevin that provided updates on his antics. Oh, Kevin. You silly fella.
ksj · 150 points · Posted at 00:29:55 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My name is Kevin. This thread is making me feel both really terrible about myself and really good about myself at the same time. :|
Cruithne · 167 points · Posted at 13:13:00 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you know it can't be you, since it's the one thing his name isn't.
Coasteast · 6 points · Posted at 02:31:44 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not sure if that's better or worse
Cruithne · 9 points · Posted at 02:40:58 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Greetings, time traveler!
BoneHead777 · 3 points · Posted at 04:29:55 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Coming from here too?
Cruithne · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:54 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, I'm here because the comment a few comments up was mine 3 months ago.
rock61920 · 3 points · Posted at 02:48:09 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Long live the thread!
LordViren · 3 points · Posted at 14:05:16 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Plot twist, teacher used his real name and claimed it was a fake.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 03:02:07 on April 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just remember, no matter how much you fuck up, kevin is somewhere else, making a gigantic fool of himself.
corndoggy67 · 2 points · Posted at 01:11:12 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Plus you can spell kevin.
egonil · 4 points · Posted at 22:48:19 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be like the Truman Show, but he would have absolutely no chance of escaping. In fact, considering the enormous odds against his family surviving the world, he might actually be in some type of quantum truman show scenario.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:48:00 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow, that's an actual sub. And it has existed since way before this thread.
jj7878 · 35 points · Posted at 20:54:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well if he spits at you, you'll know he likes you back
maddermonkey · 5 points · Posted at 12:43:34 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
And this is how his lineage continues.
Carryonyx · 213 points · Posted at 00:49:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You were very honest not cashing his dad's checks but it sounds like you deserved the money.
NoahtheRed · 478 points · Posted at 00:54:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, had his dad just kept up those payments, I could have paid off my car AND student loans before June of that year.
But ya know, ethics and whatever.
AnotherUser256 · 127 points · Posted at 18:53:14 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Out of curiosity how much was his dad paying? And do you know what his dad did for a living?
NoahtheRed · 420 points · Posted at 19:02:18 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
The check was for $20k. I don't know what he did for a living, but like I said elsewhere, both Mr. and Mrs. Kevin's Parents appeared to have actual careers. I am pretty sure that she was a physical therapist and whatever his dad did paid well enough that they lived in a nice neighborhood, drove nice cars, and wore nice clothes.
On the topic of his parents though, they came off as forgetful or flighty for the most part. Based on their socio-economic status, I'm under the impression that while flaky in most regards, but there was something they were both savant level at or something.
casualhobos · 297 points · Posted at 01:52:07 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
$20K and then Kevin tried to cash it in at a 7-11 convenience store?
NoahtheRed · 293 points · Posted at 01:53:49 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
That or spend it. It was never entirely clear what exactly he did, but it was one of the few times I saw his dad legitimately angry.
henryKI111 · -91 points · Posted at 21:31:37 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
who is the stupid now! :D
[deleted] · 90 points · Posted at 17:40:03 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
You
[deleted] · 79 points · Posted at 03:05:30 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
100% sure that was a bribe combined with a "sorry for your troubles"
sberrys · 140 points · Posted at 22:56:11 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty sure it was a bribe.
NoahtheRed · 253 points · Posted at 23:01:49 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Worst bribe ever then. Gotta put that stuff in cash.
sberrys · 173 points · Posted at 23:21:37 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You DID say they were stupid.
FPJaques · 3 points · Posted at 14:39:23 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
He did? I might have to read the whole thing again
zook1n1 · 217 points · Posted at 21:52:09 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
What in the good fuck
fallenloki · 172 points · Posted at 20:56:11 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Way late to the party, but we have a guy at our accounting firm who I wouldn't trust to run across the street and buy a cup of coffee. He wears velcro sneakers, and in general looks like he could be homeless.
This motherfucker is an excel genius. I mean... It is completely insane how good this guy knows the program. He can build the most complex spreadsheets, and he is a legitimate asset to the company. He earns a good paycheck
Geminii27 · 68 points · Posted at 11:06:51 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have to wonder if he deliberately screwed everything up and dressed weirdly in order to never be asked to do anything than Excel, which from the sound of it he could knock off by 10am every day and then go surf the web or something.
fallenloki · 36 points · Posted at 16:35:12 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't think so. To pull this off would be some Andy Kaufman type dedication.
MR-C0F1 · 16 points · Posted at 18:05:41 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't give away the bit, I don't want to work harder.
dralcax · 9 points · Posted at 21:46:04 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Five bucks says the only reason Kevin got anywhere at all is because his parents kissed enough ass and shelled out enough cash.
sosern · 14 points · Posted at 18:14:00 on July 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think it rather was his "can-do" attitude and drive towards the goals he set himself!
Thorolf_Kveldulfsson · 11 points · Posted at 22:20:43 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I bet he was in sales, or a management position of some kind. Maybe a sales manager! They're a "special" breed. edit: Think Michael Scott
sosern · 3 points · Posted at 18:15:11 on July 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I want to see a real The Office documentary with grown-up Kevin being the manager now!
Geminii27 · 3 points · Posted at 11:09:11 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or Kevin Senior was related to a CEO of something and had been given a six-figure sinecure.
WearsALeash · 2 points · Posted at 07:05:43 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you sure he wasn't trying to covertly bribe you to give Kevin good grades?
bdunbar · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:04 on May 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Trust fund, perhaps?
ThereIsBearCum · 5 points · Posted at 20:03:02 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
That might be how he even made it that far in school.
DarkHater · 195 points · Posted at 19:23:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please sir, can we have some more Kevin stories? :)
Corruptdead · 162 points · Posted at 16:53:37 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am allergic to amoxicillin and have family in Nassau that I visit every few years.. Am I secretly retarded?
calladus · 202 points · Posted at 20:46:26 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I. Can't. Stop. Laughing!
NoahtheRed · 141 points · Posted at 21:02:52 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did this post get linked somewhere or something?
Iwalkudie · 55 points · Posted at 21:08:27 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes
eruptinganus · 12 points · Posted at 22:27:32 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah this thread http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2239bx/teachers_whove_given_up_on_a_student_what_did/
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 20:42:44 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
And this one thankfully, or I would have missed it.
TapdancingHotcake · 8 points · Posted at 04:16:15 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
This post is going to get linked to for a long time. You made history.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 22:49:09 on June 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
Again here. This story never gets old
Dopeaz · 6 points · Posted at 21:39:54 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
And again. Soooo glad I stumbled upon this!!!
Iamaredditlady · 3 points · Posted at 18:11:50 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now here...
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/29usyt/teachers_of_reddit_what_is_the_saddest_most/
gingerbuttholelickr · 1 points · Posted at 20:47:12 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
What color is your hair?
Iamaredditlady · 2 points · Posted at 22:28:29 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
No hair there my friend ;)
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:18:24 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
And again
Cuneiform · 3 points · Posted at 20:02:25 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
It got linked again. Currently dying of laughter.
InfanticideAquifer · 3 points · Posted at 09:42:50 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
It got linked again, btw. http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/2ec0gh/i_dont_think_youre_supposed_to_know_that/cjy63vw
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 01:59:42 on September 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
It gets linked periodically on Askreddit.
We just can't get enough of Kevin!
ButtTrumpetSnape · 2 points · Posted at 14:40:48 on June 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
And more recently in this /r/AskReddit post.
Edit: link to exact comment.
Haidzz · 2 points · Posted at 02:21:55 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
4 Months later... Yes.
Edit: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2ekxkq/teachers_of_reddit_where_is_your_most_successful/
sassy_lion · 3 points · Posted at 21:36:31 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm here from this post.
onlyfit · 90 points · Posted at 17:36:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I love that the dumb runs in his family. Man... the luggage...
[deleted] · 129 points · Posted at 03:57:36 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well he's got really good normals and counterhit setups
NoahtheRed · 159 points · Posted at 04:00:25 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We have a folder for when we encounter Balrogs. It's just more character sheets.
VitruvianOrange · 10 points · Posted at 21:22:49 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
This... is the best explanation I have ever heard. Thank you.
Hereibe · 4 points · Posted at 18:11:39 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey, it worked for Glorfindel
Numbnuts50 · 2 points · Posted at 04:26:44 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
What is a balrog?
mileylols · 7 points · Posted at 16:10:09 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's a relatively nasty Dungeons and Dragons creature that can put an end to your adventure. Also had a cameo in Lord of the Rings.
malakite10 · 5 points · Posted at 14:02:55 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's really too bad that everyone else seemed to miss the Street Fighter reference that made me laugh for 5 minutes straight. Well done sir.
Zero_Teche · 83 points · Posted at 06:58:34 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ohmigosh.
I couldn't stop giggling after the whole "doesn't matter what I call him, he can't spell it."
That kid needs his own TV show.
Vortilex · 102 points · Posted at 17:19:52 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Everybody knows it's Kevin!" "Is that me?"
A_favorite_rug · 301 points · Posted at 13:22:28 on September 14, 2014 · (Permalink)
If this is real...
Then...I might need too rethink this whole atheist thing.
puckallday · 201 points · Posted at 18:04:44 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
How I imagine Kevin http://i.imgur.com/98cYyv3.jpg
NoahtheRed · 399 points · Posted at 18:55:17 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This is surprisingly accurate. I got the feeling that Kevin was, at one point in his life, of normal intelligence.....but found that being an idiot got him attention. As time passed, his game of pretending to be an idiot caught up to him. After a sufficient number of years passed that he just screwed off, he was no longer pretending....and was from that point on, a genuine idiot.
the_grand_chawhee · 55 points · Posted at 00:46:52 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was me until 11th grade. Kid needs help but is way to concerned that he will be perceived negatively by his peers. Nobody is that dumb and not actually retarded.
Numbnuts50 · 12 points · Posted at 04:39:13 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
No one can force themselves to be eating a box of crayons and not being able to tell the difference between a grown lab and cat idiot. Maybe he was dropped on his head or something.
teamtardis · 1 points · Posted at 05:45:38 on July 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel that accurately describes a lot of kids I knew growing up. Well done.
redweasel · -30 points · Posted at 22:56:59 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have a genius-level IQ and rarely if ever earned less than a 100 (out of 100) on anything in school up 'til the 6th grade. Why 6th grade? Well, I also got beaten up a lot, and my parents told me it was because the other kids were jealous of how smart I was -- so I started getting things wrong on purpose so they'd like me. And it's like you said -- after that, it suddenly became really hard to get 100s again for a long time. I got back to it, mostly, by about the 10th grade or so -- but by then I had other problems...
balreddited · 38 points · Posted at 04:38:05 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin needs a fucking sitcom
ricksmorty · 6 points · Posted at 12:57:44 on August 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
I imagine him as an adolescent Kramer.
zekeybomb · 1 points · Posted at 03:04:24 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
its called here comes honey boo boo
Le_Deek · 374 points · Posted at 18:38:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Son...
rubyit · 15 points · Posted at 23:41:29 on September 16, 2014 · (Permalink)
It bugs me that this gif doesn't loop perfectly.
Edit: sorry, I forgot this was an old thread.
Le_Deek · 5 points · Posted at 05:10:36 on September 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hahah it's all good.
imNotNotLyingToYou · 21 points · Posted at 17:51:27 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Easily the best one.
[deleted] · 22 points · Posted at 06:58:32 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Alfa as phuck.
sarayep · 0 points · Posted at 09:03:14 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Here, Kevin displayed the most sexist behavior I have EVER EVER EVER heard of
Le_Deek · 20 points · Posted at 15:28:18 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Relax, everybody knows that it was certainly offensive and definitely sexist...that doesn't mean it wasn't clever and funny
sarayep · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:52 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I said that comment with laughter in my voice
Le_Deek · 6 points · Posted at 20:14:31 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can never be too sure around these 'here parts. My apologies.
veritableplethora · 121 points · Posted at 18:28:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should write a book. I'm serious. Not only is this written hilariously, I'm sure there's plenty more. And I'm dying to know...what the hell did Kevin's dad and/or mom do for a living?
NoahtheRed · 277 points · Posted at 19:02:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know what his dad did, but his mom was some kind of physical therapist. Both Mr. and Mrs. Kevin's Parents drove nice cars and based on his address, he lived in a relatively nice area. In my head, I pretend they were Michael Scott-esque.
[deleted] · 60 points · Posted at 23:11:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So his parents were crazy absent minded and produced the pinnacle of low IQ?
hanselpremium · 58 points · Posted at 01:51:55 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Somehow, Kevin reminds me of Kel Kimble http://i.imgur.com/Dg0cXiU.jpg
SirLockHomes · 6 points · Posted at 14:08:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, definitely picturing Malibu's Most Wanted.
youssarian · 6 points · Posted at 21:10:27 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my gosh, that description of Kevin and his parents make me think of Idiocracy.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:42:45 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is his parents really that retarded? I just thought only Kevin was retarded.
PunkShocker · 35 points · Posted at 13:50:53 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is how I imagine Ralph Wiggum in high school.
Lukeweizer · 27 points · Posted at 21:00:03 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know why I want to know this, but how was his personal hygiene? Did he shower regularly? Did he wear clean clothes? Did he brush his teeth?
NoahtheRed · 83 points · Posted at 23:59:54 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Average for a high school boy with little self awareness. He wore clean clothes and appeared to at least get badgered into taking showers and brushing his teeth. Like many guys his age though, he did have a problem wearing deodorant and instead masking his "scent" with Axe body spray.
The gum in his hair usually got fixed overnight, though a few times the "fix" was a haircut.
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 20:16:14 on May 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
He got gum in his hair regularly enough that you could see a pattern in the resolution? I am literally crying laughing.
PS I know this post is old. I saved it and I read every time I need a good solid laugh.
stephanie22786 · 1 points · Posted at 04:21:38 on September 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
How do you save posts?
Thebumpintheknight · 1 points · Posted at 11:11:59 on September 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Depends what you are on
stephanie22786 · 2 points · Posted at 21:36:25 on September 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reddit is fun on mobile
dsjunior1388 · 72 points · Posted at 18:39:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I found myself wanting to upvote every bullet point, like a good joke thread. This was hilarious.
Shovelmenuggets · 51 points · Posted at 20:21:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did he by chance have changnesia?
TheRealCT · 2 points · Posted at 08:05:13 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
that sounds like what I have every night
TheMediumLebowski · 23 points · Posted at 21:21:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know cats and dogs smarter than Kevin... MOST cats and dogs are smarter than Kevin
dotcorn · 10 points · Posted at 06:43:59 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why do you keep saying "and"?
Numbnuts50 · 1 points · Posted at 04:42:52 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
To separate two nouns..
dotcorn · 5 points · Posted at 07:44:08 on May 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah. Two redundant nouns, you mean.
Boukish · 3 points · Posted at 13:39:41 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kinda like peanut butter and jelly.
ButtsexEurope · 51 points · Posted at 03:24:29 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my god it's Ralph Wiggum IRL.
Soulrush · 46 points · Posted at 23:19:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
General spray warning: don't be drinking anything while reading this thread.
mslack · 23 points · Posted at 17:49:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Any chance his real name was Scott?
NoahtheRed · 79 points · Posted at 17:51:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, but his name does start with a K
SteveCFE · 84 points · Posted at 23:13:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gotta be Keith. I refuse to believe otherwise.
TroubleWithTheCurve · 34 points · Posted at 00:40:05 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm on board with this theory.
MiaowaraShiro · 6 points · Posted at 16:25:40 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked with a Keith that might fit this description.
ValiantSerpant · 1 points · Posted at 05:26:30 on September 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck you. Blame someone like Kyle Keegan or Kenneth. Those are difficult to spell
EmoKidSid · 4 points · Posted at 01:44:05 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was sure it would be Donny. There's just something about Donnys....
inbetweenist · 1 points · Posted at 23:52:51 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait wait wait... you don't live in southern california do you?
ChrisVolkoff · -6 points · Posted at 16:02:42 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should check out the movie "We Need to Talk About Kevin."
romulusnr · 19 points · Posted at 14:37:08 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
What you are saying is that his father while dumb as a post managed to have money to pay for tuition and trips to Nassau.
I think it is your duty to the human race to inform us exactly what Kevin's dad did for a living.
morphotomy · 6 points · Posted at 16:10:57 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nassau is also a place in long island with free-flowing alcohol and wonderful beaches.
Thedustin · 17 points · Posted at 14:53:16 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did Kevin happen to have Changnesia?
[deleted] · 17 points · Posted at 09:34:56 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is my favourite Reddit post.
wisewiz11 · 165 points · Posted at 20:34:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Kevin sounds like he is autistic. I work with clients with autism and his behavior matches perfectly. Hopefully he got help at some point because I've seen people with similar behaviors improve quite significantly. They just need to be worked with some and then it's easier to see that they are just as unique and interesting as anyone else.
NoahtheRed · 485 points · Posted at 21:35:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was what most of us (ie: his teachers) thought, but no one seemed to diagnose him with anything. He learned just like everyone else, but never appeared actually utilize it or make decisions based on it. It was as if his brain was set on selective Write-only mode.
susannahmia · 86 points · Posted at 17:24:29 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Foetal alcohol syndrome? People with FAS often have poor judgment and decision-making skills, they can learn but don't seem to be able to link cause and effect well.
Psionx0 · 116 points · Posted at 00:29:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he had long term memory consolidation issues, that probably wouldn't be picked up by your average school psychologist. That could also explain the lack of long term learning.
TroubleWithTheCurve · 60 points · Posted at 00:38:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
But if a school psychologist isn't going to pick it up, then who? Especially considering there's often 1 school psychologist for entire districts.
Psionx0 · 116 points · Posted at 00:44:02 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be a Clinical Psychologist. School psychologists typically only look for learning disabilities as defined by the federal education code (title 34 IIRC). Because long term memory consolidation issues are not technically a learning disability, the school psychologist is under no mandate to look for it. I have ethical issues with that (hence why I'm not a school psychologist).
So, this brings us to the real issue. Often there is only one school psychologist for an entire district. They can only look for so much. The tests they use are often quick to administer and score. Also, if the school identifies a child who has an LD, they are required to address it. Since long term memory consolidation issues aren't considered learning disabilities the school simply has no requirement to look for them, nor would they fund the time to do it.
TheRealCT · 2 points · Posted at 08:08:24 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
what are long term memory consolidation issues
Psionx0 · 5 points · Posted at 17:10:43 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are two types of memory, long and short term. Short term memory and long term memory. Short term memory really consists of only a few seconds of time. Then that information moves to a different part of your cognitive processes and either gets forgotten, or encoded into a memory that will last longer than 10 or 15 seconds that can be easily retrieved later.
You're supposed to be able to remember various things. What you had for dinner last night, the last time you went to the store or doctor, who the current president is, the route to work, etc. All of these things are long term memories.
Some people have a problem translating short term memories into long term memories. So, you can be talking to this person while having lunch, and while the event is happening they are completely aware you're having lunch together. You call them the next day and they have a vague memory of having lunch with... someone yesterday. You call them a week later and they can't remember having a lunch at all on Monday. So somewhere in their complex memory system, something fucked up, and they can't remember specific information longer than a day or so.
This can easily be caught in a couple hours of testing. Usually people begin to show long term memory deficits with information that is just 30 minutes old.
TheRealCT · 1 points · Posted at 18:40:29 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
The third paragraph really describes how my memory is.
ValiantSerpant · 3 points · Posted at 05:27:19 on September 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's a robot with RAM but no Harddrive?
Umpire · 2 points · Posted at 04:04:09 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would suspect that the parents did not push to go see the right Doctors that could diagnose this. Or if a Dr. did make a referral, they just ignored it.
tanaaneuma · 17 points · Posted at 15:23:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This made my morning.
noonathon · 15 points · Posted at 13:15:20 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
While I realise that I'm a little late to this, I just wanted to comment that this post, in my eyes, is currently winning reddit
mlorrey · 48 points · Posted at 18:26:04 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin is clearly destined for greatness in Congress, or the White House.
IYKWIM_AITYD · 2 points · Posted at 21:59:44 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Senator Blutarski!
bushysmalls · -2 points · Posted at 21:53:54 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
He already served two terms quite recently.
FidelCastration · 15 points · Posted at 20:24:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holy balls. This would be like the outcome if a human had the brain of a goldfish.
lunchb0 · 1 points · Posted at 05:41:59 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's like a reverse Klaus from American Dad
[deleted] · 181 points · Posted at 10:06:54 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
By any chance do the following describe kevin?
And did his father look like this?
KingDarkBlaze · 32 points · Posted at 14:46:42 on September 13, 2014 · (Permalink)
But is he a bad enough dude to have sex with a dolphin?
youngrataxes · 16 points · Posted at 01:09:24 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank you for this. I'm currently in college second guessing myself on becoming an english teacher and you helped me decide. I definitely want to teach! Again thank you.
BubbleGumPop87 · 25 points · Posted at 21:13:51 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know it's bad when you have to remind yourself that Kevin was in high school at the time, and not a kindergartner.
jakerodger1 · 1 points · Posted at 20:47:22 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe that 9th grade is around 16. I'm sixteen and even imagining someone that dumb is just hard to do.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 21:50:41 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
In the US, 9th grade is 14-15 years old.
SAS_Britain · 24 points · Posted at 19:24:57 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
God damn Kevin is dumb, dumber than Corey and Trevor. And those two are really dumb.
SuperKamiGuru34 · 5 points · Posted at 07:08:41 on April 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've met cats and dogs smarter than Corey and Trevor.
dadirabyt · 7 points · Posted at 01:30:33 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Smokes boys, let's go!
prone_to_laughter · 26 points · Posted at 15:04:12 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Couldn't stop thinking of this video the whole time I read this: http://youtu.be/Ce7Nxi8hVHE (sorry about formatting, I'm on mobile)
[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 01:08:04 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jungies · 18 points · Posted at 11:02:38 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Ask Me Anything, And I'll Get It Wrong"?
MagmaGuy · 2 points · Posted at 09:35:21 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do you think he'd figure out how to use a computer?
Haltgamer · 3 points · Posted at 03:12:43 on August 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
He can use a computer. He downloaded porn before, remember?
nvrgnaletyadwn · 13 points · Posted at 13:07:41 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
he sounds like "sammy" from my old school, he walked into the nurses office as calm as could be with an exacto knife sticking out of his palm... "I think i need a doctor Nurse Kelly..."
Lackest · 8 points · Posted at 16:51:55 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dunno, that kid just sounds like someone in shock, or trying to be cute.
nvrgnaletyadwn · 7 points · Posted at 17:05:39 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
you never met sammy, sammy was like kevin.
VaticanCallboy · 52 points · Posted at 18:30:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is one of those situations where it would be hilarious on a show like Family Guy but in person it is just sad and annoying.
[deleted] · 23 points · Posted at 02:23:48 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is how I envision Kevin http://carboncostume.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/stuartfrommadtv.jpg
InsaneLazyGamer · 12 points · Posted at 11:17:34 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
kevin and his family would make for a great christmas movie
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 08:31:55 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is hilarious. But in all seriousness, did you get Kevin tested for mental illnesses?
Bubba_burger · 10 points · Posted at 15:45:27 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think we are forgetting the positive aspect of Kevin.
Two idiots found love and are stupidly happy
Ignorance is bliss
chilly_anus · 44 points · Posted at 16:35:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am so sorry.. may god bless you and your journey with that kid
NoahtheRed · 340 points · Posted at 16:42:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was interesting and at times hilarious, but unfortunately, when I say he didn't have a single redeeming quality....I mean it. He was rude, mean, and stupid. He was "enabled" by his parents insofar as that they didn't seem to even understand what he was doing, why it was bad, or how they could stop it. The very fact that they somehow had jobs (and decent ones at that) lead me to believe that somewhere in there was just enough intelligence to earn a paycheck. However, by all observation and evidence presented, it was just as likely as him revealing the entire thing to be an elaborate hoax designed to QC the education process.
I wish I could say I hope he does okay, but I don't....because I care too much about our genetic pool. (Shockingly, or not shockingly at all, he was a father before he dropped out recently)
fashionandfunction · 75 points · Posted at 20:15:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
so he's like a bizarro world forrest gump.
LightningMaiden · 130 points · Posted at 18:04:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How did he figure out how to have sex?
NoahtheRed · 267 points · Posted at 18:06:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you aren't using the blood for your brain upstairs, you have plenty for the one downstairs, I guess.
ANAL_ANARCHY · 161 points · Posted at 06:21:51 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm more curious how he found a girl who would have sex with him.
Cruithne · 146 points · Posted at 13:22:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Divine luck, as OP already established.
yolibobchris · 27 points · Posted at 13:58:24 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Family.
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 04:38:33 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
"500 years of pure family blood"
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 06:27:51 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
That would explain a lot.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 15:16:04 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
This whole time i was thinking Kevin had to be a McPoyle.
TokiTokiTokiToki · 5 points · Posted at 19:52:17 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm guessing drugs or alcohol. High school parties aren't exactly bastions of intelligent conversation
Corn0ffTheCob · 3 points · Posted at 17:19:05 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
He kept spitting on girls until one actually decided to slip out of their wet clothes.
[deleted] · 39 points · Posted at 13:14:07 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
What kind of girl would want to have sex with somebody like that?
NoahtheRed · 154 points · Posted at 14:11:48 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
She was smart and came from a relatively normal family (dad was military), but like most kids her age....she was rebellious and had a self-destructive streak. It's a shame, but honestly, of the guys I knew she had "courting her" (hae beb, u wntsumfuk?)...Kevin was not the worst choice. For all of Kevin's faults and stupidity, he didn't get wrapped up in drugs or anything particularly bad. He was just dumb and had a dick that worked.
LordViren · 53 points · Posted at 14:17:25 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would pay to watch this family grow up, i imagine it like this.
Camera shows baby eating a crayon as wornout looking mother runs to stop it, out of the corner of your eye you catch Kevin in the background also eating crayons.
Squeegepooge · 13 points · Posted at 23:57:56 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like Raising Hope.
[deleted] · -6 points · Posted at 04:40:49 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
hope isnt the only thing this story has raised ;)
[deleted] · 36 points · Posted at 15:51:14 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel really bad for the both of them
[deleted] · 57 points · Posted at 17:39:00 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
And the kid.
bathroomstalin · 37 points · Posted at 07:10:11 on May 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Son of Kevin
blood-curdling scream
crazyeddie123 · 11 points · Posted at 01:26:37 on June 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
God damn it, with the number of smart virgins running around and guys like this getting laid... humanity is fucked.
ValiantSerpant · -4 points · Posted at 05:29:52 on September 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm intelligent and have a working penis!!!
ParadoxInABox · 35 points · Posted at 17:42:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, respect to you for the work you do. I taught high school for six months and couldn't hack it-- you are a better person than me.
NoahtheRed · 114 points · Posted at 17:48:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank you, but I only lasted 4 years before I called it quits. Now, Middle School teachers are the true saints. The real problem high school kids start dropping out or getting arrested.....middle school kids are stuck there regardless of what they want to do.
PineconeShuff · 24 points · Posted at 20:39:25 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
go to one of the more hardcore middle schools. I did some volunteer work for 2 weeks at a really tough inner-city school when I was in college. this place was nuts, on one hand you had some of the brightest children I've ever seen (these were fifth graders) and on the other hand you had children who had some smarts but were just too deep into the ghetto mindset to make anything of themselves. I mean it was bad, a lot of these kids were clearly lost causes at the age of 11 which to me at that age was unimaginable.
one kid threatened to hold a girl down at lunch and "ram his cock down her throat" (remember, 5th grade). cops were called and he never came back. at least not for the time I spent there.
thenichi · 5 points · Posted at 19:31:38 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of a classmate in middle school. He was a known trouble student, arrested for violent crime several times. By the end of the final year of middle school they had him doing half days at school, the rest in juvie. Never heard from him after that.
nuclearswan · 10 points · Posted at 19:24:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kudos to Kevin for knowing his address!
Brandinon · 9 points · Posted at 12:17:27 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought of Kevin from The Office.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 09:21:37 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to high school with a kid who shared a lot of these traits. One time he wrapped his head in duct tape in the middle of class because he thought he'd look like a mummy. The teacher had me take him to the bathroom and cut his hair to remove it....
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 17:09:09 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
this is the funniest thing I've ever read. and I am NOT young.
I REALLY want to know more about Kevin and not just for the laugh but I'm deeply curious about what was wrong with him and his family. It's the most unique disability I've ever read about. Any idea what Kevin is doing now?
k5berry · 31 points · Posted at 21:55:24 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know no one is reading this, but I feel compeled to put my thoughts down before I can no longer comment: What. The. Fuck. I cannot even comprehend how this can be real, but I know you can't make this up. But seriously. I wonder if he had a mental illness, or if he was honestly just that crazy. There is no way someone can do so many stupid things! Not just a very "not bright" person, but the magnitude of these things! They're insane. I mean I can kind of think of a person who just literally doesn't even think of anything. They just do anything with absolutely no ration or reason or thought whatsoever. But I can barely comprehend it. It's so hard to believe that someone and his fucking parents can be so equally insane and mentally deficient. I really feel bad for him
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 09:30:32 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Cubbance · 5 points · Posted at 03:23:54 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's simultaneously brilliant and ridiculously stupid. I love it.
Zombiesealion · 8 points · Posted at 09:17:05 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a person actually named Kevin, I feel awkward reading all of this.
cronos844 · 8 points · Posted at 09:30:28 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Have you looked Kevin up recently, I am fascinated to know if this dumb person is still alive.
Link0010 · 15 points · Posted at 02:24:12 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
The name "Kevin" just makes this even better.
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 03:00:19 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
"God, don't be such a fucking Kevin..."
doctor457 · 7 points · Posted at 00:43:47 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know this is old, but I'm curious. How did Kevin's classmates treat him?
NoahtheRed · 17 points · Posted at 18:43:36 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a mix of reactions. Some were frustrated by his activities. They didn't like that their class time was getting interrupted by Kevin. Others tried to push him to do dumb shit (which I honestly think was the reason for the crayons, the koolaide, and a couple other incidents) because they knew he'd do it. Others were just indifferent to it.
The-Night-Forumer · 7 points · Posted at 03:39:26 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
This can't be real...
[deleted] · 41 points · Posted at 21:17:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't get it. A lot of these were really funny but this doesn't sound like a dumb kid with dumb parents so much as a kid with a mental disability or learning disability with parents who've the same. I can't be the only one wondering if that's it, right?
sunny_bell · 74 points · Posted at 02:27:17 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Apparently they tested the kid for everything they could think of and came up empty.
ThereIsBearCum · 26 points · Posted at 20:06:26 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
It will now be known as "Kevin's Disease"
Geminii27 · 15 points · Posted at 11:12:08 on May 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
"We scanned his head but it came up empty."
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:16:54 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm late to the party but... how long ago was he tested and how competent were his psychologists? Misdiagnoses are exceedingly common in psychology.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 04:33:07 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
who gives a shit, fuck kevin
strumpster · -13 points · Posted at 00:29:19 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is really messed up.. Why is this teacher making fun of this kid?
And reddit, why are YOU making fun of this kid?
Ilovegiller · 6 points · Posted at 07:07:23 on July 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because it's hilarious!
Dravarden · 11 points · Posted at 04:50:57 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
He is the Leonardo Di'Caprio of the Darwin awards.
Endulos · 46 points · Posted at 13:41:50 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
ಠ_ಠ
This is one of those that borders "There's no way this is real" and "This is way too fucked up to be fake".
Dunder_Chingis · 5 points · Posted at 11:47:13 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
What... no, HOW, could his parents possibly hold any sort of job down and still support themselves? Where did they get money? How did they know not to eat the money or accidentally bury it in the back yard?
tubbo · 3 points · Posted at 21:33:32 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
...maybe they just eat the money...
ParticleEffect · 2 points · Posted at 22:36:39 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Welfare.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 17:54:29 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I laughed so fucking hard at the koolaid thing. Oh my god.
BeyonceIsBetter · 4 points · Posted at 23:21:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he can't even spell his name it sounds more like he has some sort of retardation or something. I have friends with little to no "socially functioning" issues - more like just issues reading or learning - and they're all in Special Ed. I can't imagine someone with no memory past 2nd grade being allowed to remain in the main school program.
NoahtheRed · 36 points · Posted at 04:10:19 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Kevin wasn't retarded. He was just an idiot. It's difficult to convey exactly what a day with him was like, but believe me when I say, while he was many things....retarded was not one of them. He could read and write around the same level of his classmates, and did okay with certain assignments (once we got through the whole cats vs dogs thing, he eventually understood personification and could identify it, use it, etc.....he just never did the assignments for it and didn't take the test because he was suspended for getting in a fight with a bus driver)
I poked fun at him over his name regularly though because he had a unique spelling of an otherwise common name. The choice in vowels made it look like he misspelled it every time he wrote it. Hence my comment about him not being able to spell "Kevin". My last name is an extremely uncommon Scandinavian family name and kids tripped over it endlessly. Kevin was one of the only ones who actually said it correctly the first time....but god have mercy if he ever tried to spell it.
BeyonceIsBetter · 5 points · Posted at 23:41:27 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, that makes more sense. Still weird though.
msheaven · 5 points · Posted at 15:46:10 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
krystaphir
NoahtheRed · 4 points · Posted at 15:56:16 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did have a Cristofur, but Kevin wasn't him :P
Daltonium_239 · 2 points · Posted at 21:58:10 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
His name must be Keith!
Mishellsara · 3 points · Posted at 23:44:37 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Keeth?
Daltonium_239 · 5 points · Posted at 00:09:26 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Keathe?
Matt_Cryan · 2 points · Posted at 12:37:28 on July 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
Keef
MadAtHubby · 1 points · Posted at 17:00:41 on July 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
No...Kieth!
meech7607 · 4 points · Posted at 18:15:35 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know this is an old post but I need to save it so I can show it to my friend Kevin later.
ODB_YN · 10 points · Posted at 17:42:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevins genes will not last long.
CarmenTS · 35 points · Posted at 19:44:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He apparently got a girl pregnant, though...
externalyflamey · 22 points · Posted at 22:51:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Feel even worse about my highschool super-virginity now. Not that I wish I'd been a teen dad, but fuck sake if this guy could get his hole.. retrospective kick in the balls.
En0ch_Root · 2 points · Posted at 19:15:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
So we can assume that Kevin is not the dumbest person in the world.
A_Harmless_Fly · 1 points · Posted at 10:55:06 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Here ya go.
non potato version - http://www.spike.com/video-clips/f8drn8/first-10-minutes-of-idiocracy-clip-1
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 22:32:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or they will last forever.
Cruithne · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:04 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
At the end of time, when humanity is dwindling and the universe is coming to a close, only the progeny of Kevin will survive.
CraftyCaprid · 3 points · Posted at 15:58:04 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
What if Kevin's great grandfather was Jesus second comming. Instead of saving everyone Jesus just went with "let's fuck with em.". Now Kevin's family will always survive because they are literally blessed by god.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 11:02:46 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is pretty ingenious actually.
NoahtheRed · 19 points · Posted at 11:57:42 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Heh, only sorta kinda. He'd write his name ANYWHERE there was room....in front of me. He wouldn't erase the other student's name or put his anywhere logical.
fotorobot · 3 points · Posted at 09:27:55 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh man, everything about this kid reminds me of Idiocracy.
Also this one guy's student from A Serious Man
ConfusedPear · 14 points · Posted at 18:34:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
o.o --> O_O
HerpDerpMapleSerp · 18 points · Posted at 03:34:07 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin's last name? Albert Einstein.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 18:14:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Classic Kevin
moondes · 6 points · Posted at 22:48:49 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I want the life story of Kevin read to me by the narrator of The Stanley Parable.
NoahtheRed · 6 points · Posted at 00:02:42 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I ever have to choose a narrator, I want Brian Blessed....or Willem Dafoe....or Julian Richings
lyan-cat · 1 points · Posted at 16:54:13 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm down with Brian Blessed.
Artemissister · 4 points · Posted at 16:45:29 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your last year teaching, huh? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it had something to do with this kid.
NoahtheRed · 24 points · Posted at 17:01:20 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, it had more to do with kids like his classmates and their parents. Kevin and his kin were relatively easy to deal with. He was just the right balance of mean, stupid, and lazy to where nothing he did really derailed anything I had going on. It was the kids who were "smart but too lazy to do work" types that got me. Like I mentioned elsewhere, most days with him were either really easy or really quick. I think most referrals I wrote about him were in the first 10 minutes before we even finished the Do Now assignment or warm-up. If I got past that without Kevin being a problem, it was usually smooth sailing from then on out. His classmates, Tweedle-D and Tweedle-F, were far less predictable and could make an entire class period feel like an eternity.
Pro Tip: If you are "smart but lazy", you aren't smart. You are just lazy. I hear it all the time, especially here on Reddit. "I was intelligent, but I just didn't care about school...." Smart people know that high school is a game, and an easy one at that. If you play the game, your life will be easier and you will be able to do more that you want.
ChiefGraypaw · 13 points · Posted at 20:14:13 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to say this about myself all the time. "I'm smart, I just don't care."
It wasn't until senior year that I realized "If I was smart, I would care. So obviously I'm not actually that bright."
Froot_Fly · -5 points · Posted at 00:18:01 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not doing work = Stupid? I understand this from a fundamental stand point but isn't entirely possible that you can be smart and not do school work? I don't know what to think of my life anymore.
americancorn · 7 points · Posted at 03:39:40 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel like him saying it's a game means that if you're smart you can easily succeed in high school while doing minimal work by figuring out how to play.
NoahtheRed · 11 points · Posted at 18:45:41 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Smart people don't actively hamstring themselves by being lazy.
GFMogol · 6 points · Posted at 20:34:02 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin must make IAMA.
ZombiePudding · 2 points · Posted at 02:36:51 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
He doesn't know how to Internet.
Arcaness · 3 points · Posted at 15:19:36 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Unless it involves watching porn in the worst of places.
sunny_bell · 4 points · Posted at 22:12:22 on April 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So I told my dad about Kevin. He decided Kevin must be a space alien unaccustomed to our ways.
redmustang04 · 2 points · Posted at 20:49:21 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you sure this Kevin wasn't mentally retarded or have some sort of learning disability?
minastirith1 · 3 points · Posted at 03:43:16 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is where I lost it. Thank you so much for this unbelievable story.
mangofruitsnack · 4 points · Posted at 06:17:07 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why does this remind me so much about Forrest Gump?
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:00:23 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel so bad about laughing bout' this, but shouldn't his mum/dad have died somehow? Like ran over by a car or poisoned to death?
grumpycatabides · 9 points · Posted at 12:56:45 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or forgot to breathe, checked for a gas leak by lighting a match, got confused about which color traffic light meant 'stop' and which one meant 'go'...
Rof96 · 3 points · Posted at 01:04:38 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Whoever gave you Gold be praised.
I am saving this.
Diego_ciadez · 4 points · Posted at 18:09:33 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin keeps it classy
aDildoAteMyBaby · 3 points · Posted at 22:55:13 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is terrible and glorious, all at once.
Luteraar · 5 points · Posted at 19:54:08 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This seems like something to read while taking a shit, off I go.
xhanto · 3 points · Posted at 02:11:46 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
You had me with the tazing thing. I'm saving this.
sobjecka · 7 points · Posted at 20:15:50 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
ROFL that's a pretty awesome pickup line
Tharsarous · 7 points · Posted at 03:49:55 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
+1 for Balrog.
Im_Rj · 14 points · Posted at 16:29:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This should be the top comment.
buttchuck · 6 points · Posted at 02:40:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was... was his real name Philip J. Fry?
PappySmearf · 1344 points · Posted at 01:52:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy who shot up peanut oil to slow the flow of blood to his brain to keep him in a constant state of being "high". He's dead now (not from the peanut oil, drug overdose a few years later).
Amorne3 · 265 points · Posted at 07:11:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You sure it wasnt any kind of an anabolic substance? They come in oil. Maby he told you it was peanut oil just so you wouldn't know.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 13:45:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know how shooting up peanut oil would be any better.
mortiphago · 8 points · Posted at 18:49:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hear it goes great with beer
[deleted] · -6 points · Posted at 16:13:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Amorne3 · 5 points · Posted at 16:32:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He never said he was putting it in his vein.
Wonky_dialup · 886 points · Posted at 06:54:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I guess he was just a real nutter
blakkattika · 6 points · Posted at 15:04:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You could say he was a real LEGUME case haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaww man i'm depressed
globalcitizen824 · 1 points · Posted at 16:21:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At first I thought this was about a girl, butter description was so masculine.
Cipher095 · 1 points · Posted at 18:33:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
clovercross · 1 points · Posted at 00:52:40 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dat user name!
Uncircumcisedeadbaby · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Legumer, technically.
DovahkiinM · 1 points · Posted at 08:39:30 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh Phreak !
Epicghostrider · 0 points · Posted at 13:06:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
bum bum clash!
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 20:26:02 on July 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Very punny.
paulbamf · -1 points · Posted at 13:13:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where is this man's gold?
Wonky_dialup · 4 points · Posted at 13:19:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sadly that's not how it works man. All I did was make a humble pun.
000a · 2 points · Posted at 14:09:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In your pocket.
snodog00 · -1 points · Posted at 12:49:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Zing
brownliquid · 118 points · Posted at 05:11:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Peanut oil... not even once.
Guitarshredder6898 · 4 points · Posted at 18:06:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your username makes me suspect...
brownliquid · 5 points · Posted at 18:32:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ok fine, never again!
bkbowser · 1 points · Posted at 02:36:54 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
The gateway drug
Arandmoor · 1 points · Posted at 20:35:50 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
PLANTERS IS SELLING DRUGS TO OUR CHILDREN!!!
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 05:51:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
he weeded himself out of the gene pool with those great ideas
cdoublejj · 11 points · Posted at 05:50:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that cracked me up ".. He's dead now." just slipped that right in. Also Darwinism?
[deleted] · -5 points · Posted at 07:32:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
cdoublejj · 2 points · Posted at 08:19:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
WOOSH!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin_Awards
shieldvexor · 2 points · Posted at 23:40:12 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cant have kids first
gurgaue · 3 points · Posted at 09:38:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are dumb things here, but this is the dumbest thing I have EVER heard.
Aelius_Galenus · 2 points · Posted at 03:57:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hell, using that reasoning Nutella would have been much more effective.
AnusTasteBuds · 2 points · Posted at 07:39:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
.... did it work?
KillaDilla · 2 points · Posted at 10:25:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
maybe you were the dumb one for believing him.
PappySmearf · 4 points · Posted at 00:41:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Perhaps, but had you met the guy - well - there's not much I'd put past him. Several acquaintances informed me that they'd caught him jerking off the dog, once right in the middle of a party.
beener · 1 points · Posted at 13:00:33 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah except jerking off the dog is hilarious.
PappySmearf · 2 points · Posted at 22:08:45 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reading about it is hilarious. But the people who told me about it didn't seem to find it funny. They were quite disturbed having seen it.
FadelessDoge · 2 points · Posted at 11:37:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's nuts
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:29:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wat
ProphetOfDisdain · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Will that work? Or is there any logic behind this thought?
feanturi · 1 points · Posted at 13:19:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It totally works, dude, you should try it. Make sure to heat the oil to your internal body temperature so it can get up to the same speed as your blood as soon as it goes in. Then the extra weight of the oil produces drag on your blood cells and the whole system slows right down.
Do not actually try this.
ProphetOfDisdain · 3 points · Posted at 16:01:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dont have any peanut oil, will creamy pb work? I'll warm it up of course
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not even mad thats amazing
jpt43 · 1 points · Posted at 16:50:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Knew a guy that shot meth into his dick...It turned black
bastocrat · 1 points · Posted at 17:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Could have been allergic...
CassandraVindicated · 1 points · Posted at 21:57:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In the 5th grade, I knew a kid who rolled up pencil shavings in a piece of notebook paper and smoked it. Not just once, but on the regular.
dbbo · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would have been hilarious if he immediately got blood drawn and asked for a triglyceride panel.
WittiestScreenName · 1 points · Posted at 19:21:14 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wtf who thinks of that?
ElderlyPeanut · 1 points · Posted at 05:46:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What the actual FUCK?!
WeAreReaganYouth · 12 points · Posted at 20:21:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Intravenous drug users get into "needle romancing," especially heroin users, and especially when they do not have any drugs to use. They shoot all sorts of shit into their veins, usually just water, and mostly because the ritual of injecting something (anything) creates a very subtle, but always disappointing, high.
Source: Me. Former intravenous drug user.
Raincoats_George · 0 points · Posted at 13:07:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's ok. I knew a kid who once said these words in front of me. 'yea I got some of the cotton I use to shoot up into my blood stream. It makes you sick. But that's OK I'll just shoot up more and power through it.'
I had to look this up, its apparently a widely held belief that you accidently get cotton from shooting up in your bloodstream but it's actually bacteria from the cotton.
Can't hold it against the guy, his dad is filthy rich and his version of being a father is to hate his son but give him lots of money. He's in pharmaceuticals. Fuck that asshole.
jscummy · 0 points · Posted at 16:48:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That reminds me of the time I injected five marijuanas and passed out on the floor.
RugbyMonkey · 179 points · Posted at 04:10:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I recently taught a college student how to add four numbers together.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 20:21:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Four numbers? Like all at once? Dude, thats crazy talk
RugbyMonkey · 8 points · Posted at 04:30:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yup. I followed up by using a number line to teach them how to add and subtract positive and negative numbers. I don't know how they let people like this graduate high school.
Still, the student was friendly and actually trying to learn. I'd rather work with that kind of student on first-grade math than help someone taking calculus who doesn't even try to think.
tricet · 8 points · Posted at 21:23:05 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
In fairness, I'm a relatively young adult (23 in a few weeks) and we didn't start learning even the concept of negative numbers until 5th grade, learning operations with negative numbers (add, subtract, multiply, divide) until 6th grade. I'm seeing a lot of things in discussions of education lately where redditors are saying things like "rah rah algebra rah rah it's second grade level" and I'm just like... not in most American public schools, and especially not in the last 15 years or so. My brother's only five years behind me and I don't even recognize the methods they use to teach addition of multiple numbers now. I couldn't even figure out what they were trying to get at with how they were writing it, so I couldn't help him with his homework. I tried to teach him the way most people learned (line up all four numbers vertically, mental math down each column) but he got a zero on that paper because the teacher said he was doing the work with the wrong method. This was about 10 years ago now, when he was in 2nd grade.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:18:03 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is when a good older sibling goes to the younger kid's teacher and kicks the living shit out of the teacher for being a complete and utter asshole.
tricet · 6 points · Posted at 16:12:36 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah cos that's what my life needed at fifteen, expulsion and an assault charge. :p
Tbf, it wasn't even the teacher's fault; they were being forced to teach common core by the district and that ridiculous curriculum required it.
ptrain377 · 9 points · Posted at 11:58:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Community college is a hell of a drug.
leekslap · 5 points · Posted at 16:46:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey man, math isn't their thing or whatever.
jolly_rodgas · 3 points · Posted at 19:57:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I peer-reviewed a paper for an English Comp II class (as in, this brainiac had to pass one class before getting into this one) that looked as if it were written by a third grader. Short, incomplete sentences, about how he wanted to be a history teacher. I had many doubts that guy was going to graduate on time.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:01:00 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
College tutor here. I do this sort of thing pretty often. Some colleges basically let you in if you have a pulse and a checkbook.
mortiphago · 2 points · Posted at 19:24:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
are you sure you were at the college classroom and not the collage one?
Kain222 · 2 points · Posted at 15:19:44 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly - sometimes, by that point, you really just haven't used any of those techniques for a couple of years. I can obviously add four numbers together, but it takes me far longer than it should do just because I rarely have to add shit up.
NeverQuiteEnough · 0 points · Posted at 13:48:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
to be fair I study computer science and my homework is to just take a pen and paper and add two three digit numbers together.
Like 10F + A3G
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 17:58:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
xantrel · 7 points · Posted at 06:25:06 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Base 17, obviously
NeverQuiteEnough · 4 points · Posted at 20:21:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
the letter I hit instead of C, apparently
shadow1515 · 3 points · Posted at 17:50:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In my intro to Java class our first or second homework assignment was to write a function (or are they called methods in Java? it's been a long time) to do that for us.
NeverQuiteEnough · 2 points · Posted at 20:19:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah my class is in c++, one of our earlier assignments was to do a conversion in binary.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:27:17 on July 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've done that since Kindergarten... I feel for you.
Snort_Cigs · 169 points · Posted at 03:39:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a guy who got a composite score of 4 on his ACT. I know, it sounds impossible. I thought it was too, but I was at his house when his mom got the mail with his score on there, and I saw the piece of paper myself.
vanquish349 · 38 points · Posted at 08:36:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Australian here, What does that mean exactly? 4/100?
Furthur_slimeking · 24 points · Posted at 09:39:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brit here would also like to know.
idiosyncrassy · 188 points · Posted at 18:53:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Without getting too technical, the ACT scores usually are weighted like this:
34-36 - Please use your awesome brain for good instead of evil
30-33 - Pick a college, any college
26-29 - Nice work. If your grades are also decent, you should do fine.
20-25 - Welcome to the herd.
17-19 - Find an Asian study partner, ASAP.
15-18 - Were you homeschooled, and not in a good way?
10-14 - "I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump"
< 9 - How do you walk around without a helmet on?
Furthur_slimeking · 40 points · Posted at 00:22:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Genuinely, that's the best breakdown of it I could hope for. My sincere thanks.
[deleted] · 22 points · Posted at 16:50:42 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fin fact: according to the official ACT numbers, only 1 person got a composite 1 in the last testing cycle. If I recall, <10 got a 4 or below.
tigrrbaby · 13 points · Posted at 10:31:39 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
This made me so sad. Kids, do your homework. I got a 36 in science, 34 math and 33 English (those last two might be backwards, it was almost 20 years ago). On the SAT [back when it was out of 1600] I got 790 math and 720 English.... but got such bad grades from refusing to do homework that I couldn't get into a real college :(
foodie42 · 17 points · Posted at 15:46:51 on May 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was friends in high school with a guy that (in general) wanted nothing to do with most human socialization, including going to classes or doing homework. He learned somehow that he could go to college for "Forestry" (essentially a degree for lumberjacks) so he took his SATs hungover/still drunk, without any preparation, and got a perfect score. After convincing the local community college to take him in, he graduated, and is now very successful. Go figure.
Quazar87 · 11 points · Posted at 11:11:18 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's because being smart isn't even close to enough in college. I hope that you, like me, matured and began managing your time. You certainly can't go to college simply based on being smart.
tigrrbaby · 4 points · Posted at 15:17:42 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was more than just time management - it was priority management.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l85crqoPH81qajc4eo1_500.jpg Deciding what your real priorities are makes a big difference.
Age100 · 1 points · Posted at 16:39:13 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
.
shoyker · 1 points · Posted at 09:34:45 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Supposedly if you put C for all of the questions you'll get at least a 13.
nihil8r · 46 points · Posted at 10:00:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
4/36, you should be able to get a better score by randomly picking answers
trro16p · 26 points · Posted at 15:31:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It basically means he was able to spell his name on the test correctly.
Barely.
TheSixthVisitor · 27 points · Posted at 15:52:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
4/36. Basically, instead of picking random answers because he knew he didn't know the answers, he made "educated guesses" and deliberately picked the wrong answers.
[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 17:00:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
nandhp · -2 points · Posted at 23:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The sections are out of 18 points, the composite score is out of 36.
MiaowaraShiro · 1 points · Posted at 17:57:46 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Unless it has changed that's not true. I got a 34 on one of the sections.
nandhp · 1 points · Posted at 19:44:05 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You are absolutely correct. Subscores are apparently something else entirely. Sorry; it's been a few years since I took the ACT. I should read more carefully....
Snort_Cigs · 13 points · Posted at 19:44:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The ACT is one of the two college entrance exams in the US. The ACT has a maximum score of 36. A bit of quick Googling showed me that the average score in 2009 was 21.1. From what I know of others scores, that sounds about right.
More googling showed that having a score between 1-11 means you are in the lowest 1% of the nation. It is commonly believed in my area (although I haven't found any conclusive evidence to prove or disprove this) that the only way to score below a 7, is if you lack the ability to fill out your personal information properly. Knowing this guy, that wouldn't be too surprising.
DanceyPants93 · 6 points · Posted at 23:44:54 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It kind of baffles me that that's the average score. I've taken ACT exams, to get 21 you'd need to leave entire sections out
TaraTheTerror · 6 points · Posted at 23:18:28 on May 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I always thought the ACT was actually easier than a lot of other standardized tests, like the SAT, etc.
Snort_Cigs · 1 points · Posted at 16:18:28 on April 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
It shocked me as well.
develnate · 1 points · Posted at 23:13:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
4/36.
nandhp · 1 points · Posted at 23:13:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
The ACT is a college entrance exam in the US (it competes with the more famous SAT), the overall score is between 1 and 36
and is a sum of four subscores in the range of 1 to 18.Some brief googling suggests that the ACT might be similar to Australia's Special Tertiary Admissions Test (STAT).
JayEster · 9 points · Posted at 15:52:27 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy that got a 30 on his ACT, he celebrated by doing the moonwalk in English class, falling back into a desk and yelled at it.
This other guy got a 34 and went on to take shots of vodka through the eye claiming since it was closer to his brain than his mouth it would get him drunk faster
shieldvexor · 7 points · Posted at 23:52:36 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
So the 34 is a retard but you can absorb via your eye. I highly recommend AGAINST it because it can wreck your eye.
develnate · 5 points · Posted at 23:13:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know someone who got a 200 on the Sat. Which is about equal to a 1 on the act
totallynot13 · 4 points · Posted at 06:19:16 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't it harder to get a 200 than it is to get >700?
develnate · 9 points · Posted at 06:32:09 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is. You have to get almost all the answers wrong. And he was dumb enough to do that. I think his final score ended up being about 220
amhaque13 · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:41 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't you get 200 or 500 points just for writing your name
develnate · 1 points · Posted at 15:16:18 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
You don't get anything for writing your name but you do lose points for every answer that you get wrong
Numbnuts50 · 1 points · Posted at 04:59:50 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
He could have been lazy and only answered two questions for all you know, the fact that he got a 4 shows that he knew something.
kiowa789 · -2 points · Posted at 07:12:30 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fat short cunt from my school got a six on the ACT, and another fat shit who took the elevator because he couldn't walk up stairs got a four. Wish I was kidding.
calzenn · 478 points · Posted at 08:30:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The guy who wound up wanting to fight me because I was explaining to him that calamari was Italian for squid. He insisted people do not ever, ever eat squid...
The delightful conversation with a man who insisted all zebras in Africa are extinct, although I had just returned from there with photographic evidence from just two weeks before.
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 14:39:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just curious… it sounds from the way you tell it, that he at least knew that calamari is a thing… so what did he think it was?
calzenn · 9 points · Posted at 15:53:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am not sure... he was just getting more and more belligerent, he just stormed off after calling me a bunch of names.
His nickname with us was "cement-head".... it does explain a few things!
[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 15:31:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had the same argument about unagi with a friend. Refused to believe it was eel and insisted that it'd be impossible because we'd be electrocuted.
RX_queen · 10 points · Posted at 03:42:09 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's adorably ignorant.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:05:29 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yet electrically safe.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 16:03:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe he was thinking about a kwagga/quagga?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quagga
bebeni89 · 3 points · Posted at 16:04:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's also Greek for squid :)
PointyOintment · 6 points · Posted at 07:13:50 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would have invited him to a seafood restaurant.
Deranged_Cyborg · 2 points · Posted at 18:54:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People don't eat squid? How the Fuck do you explain Asian fish markets where they eat those bitches alive?!
linuxguy192 · 4 points · Posted at 17:31:06 on April 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah but that was two weeks ago...A lot can happen in two weeks...
JackTheJill · 1 points · Posted at 05:16:45 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
in his defense, your photo's were technically in the past.
1gracie1 · 982 points · Posted at 01:34:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to explain to a girl that penguins were not fish. I had to explain to another girl who I told this story to why the first girl was not correct.
SallyImpossible · 340 points · Posted at 11:12:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to explain to my middle school science teacher that penguins were, in fact, birds, not mammals. That was a difficult class to deal with.
blitzbom · 35 points · Posted at 13:14:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Really, You had to tell her that? I mean they can Fly. What more does she want?
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW · 42 points · Posted at 13:40:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Um that's awesome. How did I not know some could fly
Edit** Dammit. I was tricked by a BBC April fools hoax wasn't I.....
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 13:47:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because it's a joke, haha. That is not real.
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW · 26 points · Posted at 13:52:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The British accent made me believe.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 22:32:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It gave me a lot of pause. They are super convincing.
demostravius · 3 points · Posted at 21:41:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Terry Jones was the big giveaway there (you know, apart from the flying penguins).
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW · 2 points · Posted at 22:09:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I had to Google who that is, since I'm not British and haven't seen the monty python movie since I was 12.
demostravius · 4 points · Posted at 22:21:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Movie? You are missing out there is more than one! The two best are Holy Grail and Life of Brian, Meaning of Life is funny as well as is 'And Now For Something Completely Different', but not quite as good as the first two.
PatHeist · 2 points · Posted at 13:10:32 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not really worse, or not quite as good, it's just completely different. I mean, you can't say they didn't warn you...
Kablaow · 5 points · Posted at 17:24:33 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just looked at that fat body woggling around and thought, no way that fat thing can fly.
1gracie1 · 10 points · Posted at 20:18:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel ya I had an english teacher that didn't believe in gravity, a college student I had to explain why the earth revolved around the sun and was not stationary, and had two science teachers that didn't believe in evolution. Oh place where I live you are fun.
eduardog3000 · 2 points · Posted at 03:24:00 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sadly, the last one isn't surprising.
singout · 10 points · Posted at 16:06:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to explain to a group of high schoolers that penguins had feathers, not fur. Why are so many people apparently misinformed about penguins?!
SallyImpossible · 9 points · Posted at 18:53:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait! That was my teacher's reasoning! Penguins couldn't be birds because they have fur. People just have difficultly grasping concepts which fall out of the very narrow idea of normal that they have constructed.
Petarded · 6 points · Posted at 19:59:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you go to a creationist school or something?
FoxtrotZero · 5 points · Posted at 01:51:11 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Alright, so I'm pretty good at science, but biology wasn't very interesting to me.
So perhaps you can explain why a bird is not a type of mammal? I shouldn't be surprised that they're mutually exclusive, but I'm not aware of the criteria.
1gracie1 · 3 points · Posted at 05:19:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://anthro.palomar.edu/animal/animal_4.htm
FoxtrotZero · 2 points · Posted at 12:46:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, right, mammals give live birth, among other things. I knew that at some point.
aarnott50 · 5 points · Posted at 13:14:09 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Live birth, eh?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platypus
WearsALeash · 3 points · Posted at 06:42:38 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
So why aren't platypi considered flightless/wingless birds? Do they have reptilian reproductive systems or something (the only other specific in the bird category above)? Is it just because they have mammary glands?
aarnott50 · 7 points · Posted at 16:18:48 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
They meet all the characteristics for mammal classification, first and foremost. Mammary glads are part of that, but not the only defining feature.
The trait that is most defining (at least in terms of classifying fossils, but applies here) is that mammals have 3 middle ear bones. You can read more about how that makes mammals different here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution_of_mammalian_auditory_ossicles. Basically, the middle ear bones are something all mammals share. Evolutionary biologists were able to trace back fossil records to determine when that evolution happened (approximately) and a fossil history of creatures that "evolved into" mammals.
The whole concept of a mammal is a somewhat arbitrary point in evolution where we decide that all ancestors with 3 middle ear bones are mammals. Mammary glands could have been a requirement, but then many fossils would be up for debate as to how to classify them. Using bones as a classification criteria makes it very clear.
Peasento · 2 points · Posted at 16:34:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sorry, what?
justdontfindme · 0 points · Posted at 20:46:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL
theLoveGiant · 22 points · Posted at 06:51:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my god I've heard multiple girls say that fish isn't meat.... ok so then it's a plant or mineral? Fucking some people kids man...
SallyImpossible · 23 points · Posted at 11:08:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
That's not so bad. The definition of meat is more of an idea than a fact. I mean yes, meat technically is flesh from an animal, but when you are thinking about food, the technical definition barely matters. To many people, meat refers to the flesh of land animals. It's kind of like how tomatoes technically aren't vegetables but it isn't stupid to call them that.
I personally do not consider fish to be meat. I am entirely aware that they were once alive, but I do not put them in the category of meat. Most of that is due to me growing up Kosher. The distinction between meat and not meat in Judaism is very strict and fish is firmly in the not meat category. I'm not Kosher anymore but I still do not associate fish with meat.
It's not really dumb, per se, just has to do with how you comprehend food, if that makes any sense.
Would you call clams meat?
DemonDZ · 10 points · Posted at 13:12:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I first read this I was about to go into aspergers rage, then I looked stuff up and you are absolutely right. Meat is not a scientific term or anything, it's just a word that people use to describe food which definition changes depending on region and culture. Thank you man.
thehonestyfish · 3 points · Posted at 17:22:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Miriam Webster has your back...
Fish ain't meat.
theLoveGiant · 10 points · Posted at 11:14:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't mean to disrespect your religion but it is definitely meat. just because a religion views something differently then the rest of the world doesn't change the fact.
ThePandarantula · 10 points · Posted at 11:47:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fun fact, Catholics used to count seals, and less crazily, whales as fish so they could cheat at only eating fish on Fridays.
rp23 · 2 points · Posted at 11:56:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Puffins were classed as fish also.
SallyImpossible · 2 points · Posted at 11:54:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shit, that's the opposite of what Jews did. They decided chicken was meat because people might think they were hypocrites otherwise. And now Jews can't have Chicken Parmesan.
thehonestyfish · 2 points · Posted at 17:14:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"You shall not see the calf in its mother's milk."
Rabbi please, chickens don't even make milk. If anything, kosher laws should prohibit mixing poultry with eggs.
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 18:51:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stop! Don't suggest the egg thing. Your advice might somehow seap back 2000 years and then Jews won't be able to eat anything.
thehonestyfish · 2 points · Posted at 18:55:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's always giraffe.
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 19:05:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know, I've forgotten how hilarious the rules of Kashrut are. They kind of make very little sense.
thehonestyfish · 2 points · Posted at 19:09:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As the saying goes, it's a mountain of laws held by a single thread.
h4mi · 1 points · Posted at 19:02:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And Beavers iirc
m4nu · 4 points · Posted at 14:26:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It isn't a fact. It's a cultural construct.
I remember I was in Spain and this chick ordered a vegetarian plate, though she ordered it "without meat". She still got the chicken because poultry isn't meat.
Anyway, in most Catholic countries, fish and meat aren't the same thing. You're supposed to give up meat during lent, and you can still eat fish.
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 00:28:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some people's culture don't consider poultry(chicken meat) to be meat and fish(fish meat) to be meat. I just don't understand that reasoning. Um what do carnivorous animals eat? Any one would answer meat. So if a carnivore only eats fish he is not eating meat..... wtf. It makes no sence people try to justify the reasoning but it's still and old outdated misinformed veiw.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:22:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
fish is fish, meat is meat.
If the name confuses you to much, call it meat and smeat
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not really Jewish anymore, so I don't take it is as disrespectful of that. All I'm saying is that the way you perceive food is not always attached to what it is strictly. I would never correct someone who calls fish meat, but I wouldn't myself.
Are you one of those people who corrects people calling tomatoes vegetables?
Also, again, do you consider clams to be meat?
dalek-khan · 4 points · Posted at 12:12:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Vegetable is a culinary term, fruit is a biological term. Tomatoes are vegetables in the culinary sense, but fruit in a scientific sense.
SallyImpossible · 2 points · Posted at 12:13:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah you're right, actually. Sorry.
theLoveGiant · 4 points · Posted at 11:43:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kingdom- Animalia Phylum- Mollusca Class- Bivalvia If it is an animal then I call it meat so yes a clam is meat. I know a tomato is actually a fruit but it is still a plant either way. Also strawberries are closely related to roses. So what? They are all plants just like all fish are animals. That's like saying I don't eat dog but I eat pugs because they are not dogs. I just don't see how someone preceiving food as a different type makes it not what it actually is scientifically.
SallyImpossible · 6 points · Posted at 11:50:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Meat isn't a scientific term. Saying fish is not meat does not show a lack of scientific understanding.
theLoveGiant · 0 points · Posted at 11:56:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Meat - flesh of a living creature consumed as food. I need to go pick some halibut off of my halibut tree.
SallyImpossible · 0 points · Posted at 12:09:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Most often, meat refers to skeletal muscle and associated fat and other tissues, but it may also describe other edible tissues such as offal.[3]:1 Conversely, meat is sometimes used in a more restrictive sense – the flesh of mammalian species (pigs, cattle, lambs, etc.) raised and prepared for human consumption, to the exclusion of fish and other seafood, poultry or other animals.[7][8]" - Wikipedia
This acknowledges that meat can mean different things to different people. For example, you probably consider, by your definition, cow stomach or something to be meat and I would too. But others may not.
This is a silly thing to Reddit-argue about. But, you know, anything to procrastinate on my paper.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:43:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What exactly would you call fish then...?
MonkeyEatsPotato · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fish.
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd call it fish or seafood. Fish is a category by itself, there are hundreds of kinds of fish.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:06:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ive always just considered fish meat. Google/Wikipedia defines it as "Meat is animal flesh that is eaten as food". Fish is an animal and is eaten all around the world, therefore it is meat
theLoveGiant · -1 points · Posted at 12:34:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
https://www.google.com/search?q=what+is+meat&oq=what+is+meat&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l3&client=ms-android-sprint-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&espv=1&ie=UTF-8
theLoveGiant · -2 points · Posted at 12:30:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was going with strictly the most broad sense of the word but yeah semantics.
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know. I'm just saying it's not grounds for calling someone dumb.
evylllint · 1 points · Posted at 20:55:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Anyone remember that awesome show, "Dinosaurs" from way back when? I feel it is slightly relevant here.
Earl: As you can see, I have separated all known dinosaur wisdom into three categories: "Animal, vegetable, rocks."
Robbie: Well, what about fire?
Earl: Vegetable.
Charlene: What about water?
Earl: Water is the opposite of fire, which we have previously established as a vegetable. What's the opposite of a vegetable? Fruit. So water is a fruit. Fruit is not a vegetable, so it has to be either an animal or a rock. We know it's not an animal. Therefore, fruit is a rock.
horrorshowmalchick · 0 points · Posted at 12:57:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with disrespecting an ideology that spreads misinformation. Just because some people blindly adhere to it doesn't make it less ridiculous.
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 13:48:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not misinformation though, and it's not all that ridiculous. It's just a difference in semantics. It's not like my former Judaism has forever purged all logic from me and I don't blindly adhere to not considering fish meat because of the Jewish god. I'm not even religious anymore!
And I have to say, I don't think of a salmon all that differently than, say, a cow even if I consider one meat and one seafood. I don't really understand "pescatarians" or whatever because fish are definitely animals.
On a reddit-controversial note, why are certain animals like dogs, cats, and horses not okay to eat when pigs and cows are? Isn't it just as hypocritical as someone saying they won't eat meat because its unethical but then eating salmon? I'm not asking you to answer that because I can't assume your opinion and it's not really relevant.
horrorshowmalchick · 2 points · Posted at 14:08:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Farming. You try keeping a flock of carnivores fed on meat, with the intent of producing meat. It would be absurd.
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 19:04:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We grow aliigator meat in the US. Also, large populations in Asia eat dogs. It's not like it's not done but it rubs us the wrong way. I don't really think eating dogs is unethical and I might even do it but there are people who would hate me for that.
horrorshowmalchick · 2 points · Posted at 20:34:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Historically European farmers (who grew the food upon which western cuisine is based) have had a much easier time with cows and pigs than alligators.
SallyImpossible · 1 points · Posted at 12:17:29 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I realize the cultural reasons for European food habits I just think it's ethically inconsistent to not eat meat because its unethical but then eat fish, or to get angry at other cultures for eating certain animals (dogs, horse) but still eat other animals.
TylerDurdenisreal · 1 points · Posted at 15:17:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I would in fact call the flesh of a clam meat. I've never heard anyone say otherwise, either.
Im_a_TARDIS_AMA · 6 points · Posted at 14:36:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mom once tried to argue with me that muscle tissue isn't meat until it's dead and cut up. I told her that if a tiger caught her and started eating her alive, it'd still be eating meat.
theLoveGiant · 0 points · Posted at 00:27:01 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some people's culture don't consider poultry(chicken meat) to be meat and fish(fish meat) to be meat. I just don't understand that reasoning. Um what do carnivorous animals eat? Any one would answer meat. So if a carnivore only eats fish he is not eating meat..... wtf. It makes no sence people try to justify the reasoning but it's still and old outdated misinformed veiw.
thehonestyfish · 2 points · Posted at 17:16:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What would you consider it if you ate crickets? Meat, plants, or minerals?
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 00:31:19 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Anything that falls under Animalia that is eaten is meat.
Inbetweenaction · 1 points · Posted at 13:13:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
it is neither. it is clearly a mushroom...
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 00:20:17 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mmm fish fungus.
fifteentango88 · 3 points · Posted at 12:36:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to explain to a grown man that a mouse was not a baby rat. He was convinced that mice matured to become rats.
Loveinthesky · 2 points · Posted at 18:08:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is she friends with Eric Matthews?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:03:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh fuck... it's contagious. We're doomed.
1gracie1 · 1 points · Posted at 20:15:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hehe I also had to explain to a college student that the earth was not stationary. They didn't believe it was because he believed we would be blown off. So yeah had to explain gravity.
optionalQuestion · 1 points · Posted at 23:03:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Penguins are just the dolphins that learn to walk.
Meihem76 · 1 points · Posted at 01:20:35 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're not a Catholic then. According to them, penguins ARE fish. Tasty, tasty fish...
ButtsexEurope · -3 points · Posted at 08:48:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Catholic, probably.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:02:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you accidentally reply to the parent comment? It doesn't make much sense that way.
ButtsexEurope · 2 points · Posted at 11:07:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. The Catholic Church teaches that all animals that live in the water count as fish. This is why puffin, crocodile, and capybara are allowed to be eaten during Lent.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:12:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll live 1 hour of flying distance from Vatican, a Catholic Church may be teaching that but certainly not all of them do, can you provide some source of that held belief?
rp23 · 3 points · Posted at 12:19:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I live less than an hour from the oldest running railway track in Europe. I don't claim to be an expert in it just because of my proximity though.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:49:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The point I was making is that I'm near the historical biggest catholic influence, surely I would've encountered the view that all sea animals are fish especially since I had mandatory Catholicism class in elementary school and for 2 years in high school.
Hence I doubt it's currently the central part of the Catholic Church as a whole but rather the teachings of a particular catholic church.
rp23 · 2 points · Posted at 13:21:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oooohh fair enough, I though you were just making the proximity=expertise argument, ignore me.
CanadianJogger · 2 points · Posted at 12:32:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I put the kibosh on no meat for Good Friday when I was 3.
We were at grandma's, and when I was given a bowl of cheerios at breakfast, I proclaimed, "I want bacon!"
So she cooked bacon for me, and of course the other 5 kids in the house wanted bacon too, and soon there was so much bacon frying that the teens and adults present became distinctly unhappy with their meagre breakfasts. She must have seen their glum faces, and so she just kept on frying. She has a strong sense of equality and justice.
The next year the precedent had been set, bacon was planned well in advance because the latest crop of babies were sure to kick up a fuss, so why not head them off at the pass?
Plus she loves bacon too.
Totesnotatwork · 0 points · Posted at 12:00:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL girls think penguins are fish.
CookieJarvis · 2774 points · Posted at 02:04:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brother's girlfriend:
"Did you know Poland was the only country not affected by World War II?"
"Hitler wasn't a bad guy, they just gave him the wrong job."
"I like cows; they're cute and they have big eyes, but I don't like horses. They're big and they look like cows."
"Wine that comes in plastic is fancier than wine that comes in glass bottles, because plastic has more technology." As my brother is cooking her a filet mignon, she looks at the steak in the pan for a minute before asking, "Is that the whole fish?"
Hamby44 · 1357 points · Posted at 04:04:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But its got technology in it.
cdoublejj · 623 points · Posted at 05:22:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
BRAWNDO!!! It has the electrolytes plants crave!
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 10:19:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
cdoublejj · 15 points · Posted at 10:21:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They're what plants crave.
ssnipperr · 10 points · Posted at 09:55:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
but why do plants crave it!?
cdoublejj · 12 points · Posted at 09:56:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because BRAWNDO has the electrolytes that plants crave!
bakedNdelicious · 7 points · Posted at 15:03:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's what plants crave...
ElementArrow · 1 points · Posted at 02:59:23 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Waiit is this from idiotacracy?
NecroSan · 2 points · Posted at 16:20:08 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Idiocracy
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/
ElementArrow · 2 points · Posted at 01:57:52 on June 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
I fucking knew it.
The_Sands_Hotel · 16 points · Posted at 09:49:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
BRAWNDO!!! It has the electrons computers crave!
9me123 · 6 points · Posted at 07:01:27 on April 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Water? Like from the toilet?
webbie602 · 2 points · Posted at 22:05:37 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
"But what are electrolytes?"
"They're what plants crave."
BadgersForChange · 47 points · Posted at 05:48:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's what plants crave.
peasinacan · 16 points · Posted at 07:33:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Water. Like, out the toilet?
cracka_azz_cracka · 5 points · Posted at 15:59:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like every commercial on TV right now:
"The secret is the [generic buzzword] technology"
"Now with [generic buzzword] technology"
Orangebanannax · 3 points · Posted at 19:22:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Atomic technology. Technically, it's not incorrect.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:10:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
NANOMACHINES, SON
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:34:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She probably cooks everything in the science oven
ajthesecond · 2 points · Posted at 16:13:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least she didnt put any metal in the science oven.
projectradar · 2 points · Posted at 17:25:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TECHMOLOGY. IS IT GOOD, OR IS IT WACK?
Snail_Lad · 1 points · Posted at 07:34:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
KEEP IT AWAY FROM MY KIDS I DON'T WANT THEM TO TURN INTO GAME ADDICTED SUICIDALS
Infra-Oh · 1 points · Posted at 17:31:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Technology...around it.
Foxcat1992 · 1 points · Posted at 19:26:53 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Solar freaking roadways.
blackcain · 594 points · Posted at 04:06:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lord.. what did your brother see in her?
barkjon · 1484 points · Posted at 04:48:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
His dick?
I dunno.
blackcain · 46 points · Posted at 05:32:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
if he saw his dick, he's doing it wrong.
Nacho_Cheesus_Christ · 6 points · Posted at 17:21:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she's made of plastic, I heard it has more technology.
Banana_massacre · 6 points · Posted at 07:22:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe his bro is Superman.
spacemanspiff30 · 3 points · Posted at 08:59:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey man, to each their own. It doesn't affect your sex life, let them enjoy theirs.
Hiyasc · 1 points · Posted at 09:27:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think if you can't see it you are doing something wrong. Either that or something tongue related.
agentidaho · 0 points · Posted at 16:15:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or maybe their fat.
BiomassDenial · 973 points · Posted at 04:34:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably boobs.
ElderlyPeanut · 414 points · Posted at 05:29:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd say it was himself.
llamakaze · 7 points · Posted at 10:21:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
AYOOOOOO! AYOOOOOOOO!
clubswithseals · 3 points · Posted at 10:18:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this is beautiful
dhmachine86 · 158 points · Posted at 06:47:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Definitely boobs.
Unless he was an ass man.
Then definitely a sweet, sweet ass.
draw_it_now · 3 points · Posted at 15:53:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She must have the cleanest arse, considering all the shit that spews from her mouth.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:19:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
an ass like on onion. It makes him cry
ilikeeatingbrains · 1 points · Posted at 13:49:32 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is that the whole ass?
Noyes654 · 1 points · Posted at 01:29:29 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I gotta see some ass now, brb.
silentknight295 · 3 points · Posted at 07:44:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
probablydefinitely boobsFTFY
The_Fluffness · 2 points · Posted at 13:41:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For sure....boobs
ShamelessDistraction · 8 points · Posted at 05:23:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In her? Well...
blackcain · 8 points · Posted at 05:32:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
say no more, say no more!
Hugh_Jampton · 2 points · Posted at 11:37:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nudge nudge
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:00:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wink wink
RegencySloth · 8 points · Posted at 05:13:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Himself.
CookieJarvis · 6 points · Posted at 22:58:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's a dirty hippy, and she lets him go about a week before she forces him to shower. Also, he's got the ability to completely block her out while seeming to be paying attention.
blackcain · 5 points · Posted at 01:06:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nice.. I suppose not being forced to take a bath is a plus. But damn, the rest of us might be a little pissed off if he doesn't take a shower. Ugh!
I_will_eat_your_life · 10 points · Posted at 11:47:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She may be the sweetest, kindest, caring person ever. Don't judge people on their intelligence, judge them on their actions.
blackcain · 8 points · Posted at 14:13:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's not really good enough for a relationship (for me). When you share your life with someone you would hope it is amongst equals. But to humans are interesting and we may pick our partners based on other factors like self esteem and physical attractiveness.
I_will_eat_your_life · 6 points · Posted at 15:11:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I understand what you mean. I like to be able to have an intellectual conversation with my partner, but other people look for different traits rather than intelligence. Each to their own, I guess.
dialcforcasey · 4 points · Posted at 12:50:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Huge... tracts of land!
kickassninja1 · 3 points · Posted at 13:56:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was a nice person, cared about him a lot?
GalacticUndead · 5 points · Posted at 17:14:21 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
my pet rock is nice too and cares about me a lot too, but at least I don't have to worry about it choking on ice.
kickassninja1 · 2 points · Posted at 18:04:07 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
You people fail to see that those who do harmless stupid things or say stupid stuff can't be good human beings. And anyone who likes such a person is only doing it for their looks. How shallow.
GalacticUndead · 1 points · Posted at 18:13:27 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hmm, I'm not even sure if you can spell words properly, bud.
kickassninja1 · 1 points · Posted at 03:08:28 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's because you don't know what the correct spellings are, bud.
mgweir · 2 points · Posted at 07:29:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably something like this...
bobbyhill626 · 2 points · Posted at 10:29:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know the answer to that
BadgersForChange · 1 points · Posted at 05:48:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Himself
[deleted] · 117 points · Posted at 04:42:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this one dumb girl I knew from high school claimed that Hitler was misunderstood because he loved animals, therefore he couldn't have been that bad of a guy.
LastTattoo · 8 points · Posted at 16:16:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl my daughter went to school with says she's related to Hitler. According to her, he's not a bad guy when you get to know him, she didn't understand why so many people hated him.
Raincoats_George · 15 points · Posted at 13:00:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He fed his dog poison to see if it worked.
Of all his crimes this was the most unforgivable.
Rip Blondie.
Pandaholz · 5 points · Posted at 13:04:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please tell me you're not serious.
Kakkuonhyvaa · 11 points · Posted at 14:37:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you disrespecting blondie's memory?
Raincoats_George · 9 points · Posted at 13:26:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dude... I know that Hitler had a dog named Blondie and that he poisoned it.
Clearly having enough understanding of ww2 I'm well aware that his biggest crime was creating Comcast. Psha.
00Sieg · 1 points · Posted at 01:19:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
But Comcast works so well...when it wants to
0342narmak · 2 points · Posted at 12:58:23 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
He (at least claimed to) believe he was in the moral right, leading the nazis to conquer their enemies and the world in the name of creating utopia. Killing his dog? The one everyone thought he loved? Well not even Hitler can't see that's not something the good guy does...
DDoubleDDose · 1 points · Posted at 07:16:47 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
According to Wikipedia, the dogs death affected people more than Eva Brauns. Which is good. Hitlerarently was inconsolable when she died, so he seems to have learned his lesson.
greenighs · 1 points · Posted at 02:18:01 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/8jMP9O4.jpg
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:33:09 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hitler wasn't that bad.
beaverteeth92 · 18 points · Posted at 05:42:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah! The guy could have been Hindenburg's art designer.
killawuchtel · 3 points · Posted at 07:53:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kind of was afterwards, Germania was his Mona Lisa.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 05:40:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You fucking can not make this shit up.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 20:34:36 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
That one's impressive because not only is it wrong, but also because Poland was one of the most affected countries: the invasion of Poland is more often than not considered the beginning of the war and Polish casualties were only surpassed by Chinese, German, and Soviet casualties.
MildlyAgitatedBidoof · 4 points · Posted at 02:05:09 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
And even today, they struggle from the lack of ability to into space.
spitfire07 · 5 points · Posted at 06:35:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope she doesn't procreate.
PatrickPJM · 5 points · Posted at 12:25:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I cant help but think of Jillian from Family Guy
guppyd · 5 points · Posted at 13:06:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How does this happen? No honestly, I really want to know how someone grows up learning these things. No one just thinks these things, someone told her. Upsetting.
ratarsed · 3 points · Posted at 22:37:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm picturing Jillian from Family Guy.
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 03:52:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Evagelos · 86 points · Posted at 04:50:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck you, that's no excuse.
Mark_That · 18 points · Posted at 08:32:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kinda is.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:24:38 on September 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
What about tits?
OhHowDroll · -1 points · Posted at 07:06:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Looks aren't enough" is a heinous slander propagated by ugly people with other talents. Just like how the aristocracy tried to impose 'honorable' warfare on the peasant class that just so happened to emphasize fighting in a way that was really, really beneficial to the side with a stronger, larger, better-equipped fighting force. You seek to demonize the strengths of others to better enhance the value of your assets!
Just who do you think you are, huh? Going 'round here, saying "Oh, look at hottie over here, but you know what? She doesn't know math!" Who cares? Math is for nerds! Let the nerds do the math! "Oh, look at this guy with his classic good looks, but can he do a dissertation on 15th century English literature?" What does that matter? Seriously, beyond the looks thing, can someone tell me why that matters?
My point is, don't fall prey to the propaganda of the uggos! The fuglies! The Rebeccas and Georges of the world! Let them have their 'science' and 'working hard' just as you get to have bikini-clad beach parties and six-pac abs! Let them co-exist in harmony! Don't give in to hate and intolerance, give in to basic animal lust!
me_gustavoo · 4 points · Posted at 07:23:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"looks aren't enough" doesnt mean they have to be good at math or have other talents. but i'd say looks dont compensate for the shit that comes out of that girls mouth
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 09:59:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As long as he doesn't knock her up it is
CookieJarvis · 1 points · Posted at 23:11:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Think a cross between Anjelica Huston and Nathan Explosion.
edit: who spells Angelica like that?
UsuallyInappropriate · 2 points · Posted at 09:47:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wat
MTLinVAN · 2 points · Posted at 11:20:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holy shit. I want more of these! MORE!!
JRoch · 2 points · Posted at 12:07:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would think he would have found to "purify" all the forms and stamps had we worked in the post office instead.
xana452 · 2 points · Posted at 23:24:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was your brother named Brian by any chance? And was the girl named Jillian?
brucetwarzen · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did he keep her? She sounds funny to hang out with. For a while
CookieJarvis · 1 points · Posted at 23:15:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The entertainment quickly turns to extreme frustration, because she never stops talking and argues these ridiculous points as if everyone else were being fooled by popular opinion. She's cool by me though, she's forever bringing me food and painted me a picture of Rocko for my birthday.
I_hate_alot_a_lot · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, cows are pretty bad ass.
BroDudemars · 1 points · Posted at 12:30:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only had to read brother's girlfriend
mhzx6 · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha, sounds like my brothers girlfriend too!
CookiesAreTheCure · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Either your brothers not too bright as well, or she is very hot.
Winston-Wolfe · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
hmm...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:03:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, Hitler was going to be a painter, had the college not accepted him. He was a pretty nice painter too, google some of his stuff.
TheSlinky · 1 points · Posted at 13:09:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well the wine thing is kinda true...
Teh_Sauce_Guy · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ohohohohoho, O kurwa that is of good one!
Bo-Po-Mo-Fo · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But is she hot?
Tormenator1 · 1 points · Posted at 13:39:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hitler would have done much better as head of human resources.
loukitch · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That last one was brilliant
dontknowmeatall · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She has to be great at blowjobs.
Kakkuonhyvaa · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Implying that hitler did anything wrong?
TheOnlyPanda · 1 points · Posted at 14:46:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I fear idiocracy may become reality.
FookinHippies · 1 points · Posted at 15:03:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Despite being part polack, I am in tears.
Someone needs to do a "karl Pilkington" style show with this woman.
someone should also mention to her that the nazis killed 16% of the entire polish population:-(
MLein97 · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's arguments that he was never made aware of the entire Holocaust thing, he was still terrible and racist, but he might not have been aware of the rate of the atrocities outside of them just being interment camps and that that part was Himmler's doing. It should be united that interment camps alone weren't that taboo as evidenced by the US's use of them.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm now stupider for reading that
Diss1dent · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I could not live with a person who has the logical abilities of a pinecone.
sublimesting · 1 points · Posted at 16:29:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Hitler wasn't a bad guy, they just gave him the wrong job."
I mean, in a way that's very true. Imagine if he had been a guidance counselor for the arts department at Vienna University? The world would have been a very different place.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a person living in Poland I have to disagree - horses don't look like cows.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:53:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is adorable.
Your brother should start up a "shit my gf says" site and put some ads on it.
That_PolishGuy · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Related story: A classmate of mine claimed that white men cannot be discriminated against. My reaction: "Oh that's great! I'm gonna tell my great-grandfather the good news! Oh wait, he's a small pile of ash in Auschwitz..."
astomp · 1 points · Posted at 19:39:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think she's mistaking "fancier" for better preserved. Juice box type wine containers do keep better.
CollegeStudent2014 · 1 points · Posted at 20:15:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think the real crime was cooking a filet in a pan.
CrazyOdder · 1 points · Posted at 20:40:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can comment on the last one my grandmother was telling me a story about her friend and her went out with Rocky Marciano and they went to a Resturant and ordered 3 filet mignons and she coming from a poor family said I'm sorry I don't like fish.
DoctorGirby · 1 points · Posted at 20:41:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Science oven
bamboohobobundles · 1 points · Posted at 23:16:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can't argue with that logic.
eBunni · 1 points · Posted at 20:04:51 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's not enough facepalms in the world for her.
dcrouse · 1 points · Posted at 16:29:10 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
She must have been incredibly hot.
undercoverbrutha · 1 points · Posted at 23:25:00 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
was she hot?
FurbyPope · 1 points · Posted at 05:16:15 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I imagine this woman as a blonde, white, large-chested, 20-something-year-old living in North America getting by on good looks and tips from her slow-paced job at Starbucks.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:59:26 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is she hawt?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:04:39 on July 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jesus Christ I bet the only time she isn't annoying is when there's a dick in her mouth.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:41:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's it like not being able to tell if someone's joking?
me_gustavoo · 1 points · Posted at 07:24:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl like this in high school, typical ditzy blonde. I later found out she had straight A's
Jigsus · 1 points · Posted at 11:13:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Must be good at blowing the teacher.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:20:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bag wine actually does stay fresher than bottle wine. She was probably relaying that.
MTLinVAN · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fresher yes, but classier? It's the same with twist offs. They're way better at making sure wine doesn't get corked but admitedly, using a corkscrew is such a part of the experience
birdpooguy · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I partially agree with the wine comment since the word "fancy" is subjective. Generally, plastics does have more technology than glasses. Plastics are made from carbon composits; they have many, many applications.
temaj · 0 points · Posted at 06:41:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I assume that your brother is now happily single? If he cares for his own intelligence level that is.
EgaoNoGenki-XX · 0 points · Posted at 07:30:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think he dated her in order to more easily take advantage of her.
Good looks + bad brains = horrible combo.
What's that girlfriend up to now and when'd she mother her first kid?
CloudsCanSing · 0 points · Posted at 07:41:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Poland was about as unaffected as my soft penis when I see Miley Cyrus degrade herself by twerking on TV.
wthat · 0 points · Posted at 07:59:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think she just has a sick sense of humor.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 11:44:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
>tfw drinking wine without technology...
L4NGOS · 0 points · Posted at 12:00:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This applies to many of the people described in this thread but I feel like her breathing permit should be revoked, or at the very least her breeding permit.
bedintruder · 0 points · Posted at 12:37:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of one of my friend's ex girlfriends. Definitely not the stupidest, but she had her moments.
Like when I took a 6 pack of Bell's Hopslam to his house. Its a super hoppy, 12% craft IPA.
She said "Can I have one? I love really hoppy beers, like Rolling Rock."
Kakkuonhyvaa · 0 points · Posted at 14:39:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Omg soo stupid! She doesn't know what hoppy beer is!!!1!!11!!1!1!!
Up_from_below · 1105 points · Posted at 23:42:13 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class believed that Neanderthals ate ice and cheese.
Bonus: she didn't know eggs came from chickens. She thought they were manufactured in a factory.
Sophistifuck · 483 points · Posted at 01:29:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well they're made by chickens, often mass produced in a factory.
spotwork · 853 points · Posted at 03:02:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL Chickens are factory workers.
Note to self: Become chicken union leader!
cdoublejj · 4 points · Posted at 05:36:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5f8826c3ab/chicken-leader
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 03:37:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Explosives · 27 points · Posted at 04:57:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chicken Clans
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
639 Reviews
Free to Play
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 13:34:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chicken Run?
Piemasterjelly · 2 points · Posted at 08:58:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What do you think you are playing at boy!
Being slaughtered to make McNuggets is a union job!
oniiesu · 2 points · Posted at 13:15:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chickens already have a union, and they keep constantly demanding more scratch.
...I'll see myself out
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:19:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
gobble gobble
shit, that's a turkey
IAmAMagicLion · 2 points · Posted at 19:46:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kept in 17 hour light to trick them into laying more and in cages too small to turn around.
spotwork · 1 points · Posted at 20:06:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're Right!
We need to de-unionize manufacturing here and do that to increase car production!
spitdragon · 2 points · Posted at 09:40:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What do we want?
CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK
When do we want it?
CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK
Its like you guys aren't even trying.
catjuggler · 0 points · Posted at 03:51:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Top of the pecking order
barkjon · 0 points · Posted at 04:49:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ceasar Chachickvez
Royal_rider · 0 points · Posted at 06:33:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But you are not chicken :P
thenewgoose · 0 points · Posted at 07:25:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bob Chicken
HydeYourSelf · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not quite in her defence, but for the longest time I was baffled over 'how' chickens go about making the babies. The eggs I get, it's how they 'do it'. For some reason it never occurred to me cocks, well...had a cock.
Sophistifuck · 1 points · Posted at 15:15:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well the eggs you eat are unfertilized so theres no cock cock involved. What we eat is basically chicken period.
clovercross · 1 points · Posted at 00:53:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats just fowl.
spacemanspiff30 · 6 points · Posted at 09:01:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They are in China, and they make people very sick. And no, I'm not joking. China makes counterfeit eggs.
superflippy · 3 points · Posted at 19:00:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep. Here's how they do it.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 12:47:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mammoth cheese
+2 HEALTH
lego306 · 3 points · Posted at 09:23:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I misread that as Netherlands (netherlandian people)... Makes a lot more sense on the second reading.
little_shirley_beans · 5 points · Posted at 12:08:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was in FFA in high school (used to stand for Future Farmers of America, but now promotes all forms of agricultural education) and, honestly, a shocking amount of people think that their food comes from a grocery store. They have no idea that it is grown/raised.
I_AM_NO_MAN_ · 4 points · Posted at 18:29:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex thought all chicken eggs were un-grown chicks. Like each egg was fertilized and the yolk was the chick and we had to eat it before the expiry date to avoid cracking into a little baby chicken...
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 02:07:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We'll historically speaking Neanderthals ate ice and cheese!
MildlyAgitatedBidoof · 82 points · Posted at 02:18:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes, we will historically speaking Neanderthals ate ice and cheese.
BadgersForChange · 10 points · Posted at 05:55:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your funny
FuckYeahFluttershy · 2 points · Posted at 07:55:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What is with his funny?
[deleted] · -7 points · Posted at 02:20:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone call the grammar nazis because I think the Berlin Wall just fell down (I know it was in 1989 don't hate)
killawuchtel · 7 points · Posted at 07:59:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The hell does the wall have to do with the Nazis?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:17:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Something something Germany is Nazis.
GoodGuyGuitar · 3 points · Posted at 03:26:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where's that?
walrusnoob · 2 points · Posted at 04:52:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So meta.
Royal_rider · 1 points · Posted at 06:33:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am still eating ice and cheese...
LivingInShanghai · 3 points · Posted at 05:27:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually in China we have had fake eggs. So she is technically correct.
360Saturn · 2 points · Posted at 10:48:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Guess that answers that age-old question, then.
petshophorror · 2 points · Posted at 13:47:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex thought that chicken eggs being fertilized looked like this: The hen lays an unfertilized, shell-less egg (?) in the nest. Then the rooster comes to sit on the unfertilized eggs, and in doing so, puts the shell on them. Like, the shell comes out of the rooster.
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 03:52:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well, it does kinda seem like they were manufactured? She probably so some documentary where teh eggs were being dropped into the packaging.
The_Sands_Hotel · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well duh... they were the first on the moon. Where do you think cheese and ice came from?
jellifiedjellyfish · 1 points · Posted at 12:13:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, someone in China did start making and selling fake eggs.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:55:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well in China they do have a problem with factory created fake eggs.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:13:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I read Netherlands
StrmSrfr · 1 points · Posted at 15:31:06 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have no idea if Neanderthals ate ice or cheese. Was I supposed to know?
Kazhawrylak · 1 points · Posted at 09:16:46 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty well convinced, by my own and the experiences of others with their middle school teachers, that school boards will basically just let anyone teach middle school.
Inbetweenaction · 1 points · Posted at 13:04:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well, technically eggs come from hens...
littleotterpop · 1 points · Posted at 21:03:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes, but hens are female chickens and roosters are male chickens. So eggs still come from chickens.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 15:33:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck that dumb ass whore I hope she knows I hate her.
_GnoHomo_ · 1888 points · Posted at 00:02:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked with this girl last summer, who was beyond dumb. At first it was amusing, but then it just got really sad. We were talking about Nelson Mandela being really sick (this was in june) and she said "well I sure hope she'll be ok, her music is so good" She thought WWII was between America and Africa. She thought potatoes could only grow in America and when asked what her boyfriends name was, she said "I can't really pronounce it - so I just call him Mike. He spells it like M I C H A E L"
Killzark · 889 points · Posted at 02:56:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Wait, who did she confuse Nelson Mandela for?
EDIT: Thanks everyone for listing off every random singer. My inbox loves you all.
[deleted] · 363 points · Posted at 11:28:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Adele Dazeem
meow_mix8 · 4 points · Posted at 00:17:39 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hahaha I forgot about that
xxGemGem · 3 points · Posted at 03:49:13 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll never forgive you john travolta
[deleted] · 792 points · Posted at 03:08:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Beyonce
Wonky_dialup · 224 points · Posted at 04:15:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Whitney Houston
[deleted] · 20 points · Posted at 04:51:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Taylor Swift :)
Not_That_Guy_Again_ · 10 points · Posted at 07:13:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think it was more of a black artist chain going on...
FrostyXylophone · 38 points · Posted at 07:14:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Black? Chain? Racist.
ThickDickVein · 2 points · Posted at 12:34:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Raymond Charles.
BigBurfa · 1 points · Posted at 15:50:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's cool, she's with T pain.
CrimsonCoast · 3 points · Posted at 12:15:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ja-Rule and Xzibit put together
iamstephen · 2 points · Posted at 09:40:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pharell Williams
UsuallyInappropriate · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Crack is wack!
loukitch · 1 points · Posted at 13:58:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Eminem
globogym1 · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mandisa
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:18:01 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Amy Winehouse
MagicSPA · 1 points · Posted at 15:41:43 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
How the...oh, wait, yeah, I can see that.
TheOnlyBlub · 2 points · Posted at 07:03:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I mean they're practically the same, so we can't really blame her
c0mandr · 693 points · Posted at 03:53:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Darude
Roninjuh · 229 points · Posted at 08:29:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nyrude Mandelastorm
BARK_BARK_BARK_BARK · 5 points · Posted at 11:34:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mandelude - Jailstorm Kappa
wizardwithagun · 7 points · Posted at 09:11:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dududududududududududu
Ikillstuffalot · 4 points · Posted at 14:11:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait, so Nelson Mandela and darude aren't the same people? I thought that was just his stage name.
Maynn · 2 points · Posted at 14:17:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sandstorm
oblivious_cat · 2 points · Posted at 08:51:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Song name?
Krabbles · 6 points · Posted at 09:03:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sandstorm
stormypumpkin · 6 points · Posted at 12:33:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
sandrude - dastorm
foreveracunt · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
djdududududuudududu
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dun dun dun dun dun dun
Farn · 1 points · Posted at 18:57:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kappa
SSpacemanSSpiff · -4 points · Posted at 12:01:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is such a good response!
[deleted] · 18 points · Posted at 05:04:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nelly Furtado.
SAimNE · 14 points · Posted at 08:53:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Liza Minnelli?
MGLLN · 10 points · Posted at 04:35:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mandie La Nelson
amyleeishungry · 9 points · Posted at 07:53:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Laurence Fishburne
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:44:04 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
TRYING TO HELP IKE?!
ImAzura · 5 points · Posted at 10:06:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jackie Chan
SwizzleShtick · 7 points · Posted at 04:52:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had to be Adele
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 13:08:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Metallica.
pandasarebadass · 5 points · Posted at 11:26:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lorde
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 11:31:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She probably heard Adele
The_Worst_Bassist · 3 points · Posted at 07:40:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sinead O'Connor.
Hugh_Jampton · 3 points · Posted at 10:27:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kylie Minogue
xAaaaa · 3 points · Posted at 11:57:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oprah
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:52:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Adele.
BruceSharks · 2 points · Posted at 06:51:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tracey Chapman
Disinformasiya · 2 points · Posted at 08:34:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kieran Gibbs
nickgibson96 · 2 points · Posted at 09:11:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Miriam Makeba??
Pata pata...
sexynoodle90 · 2 points · Posted at 10:41:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably Adell
urzrkymn · 2 points · Posted at 12:33:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tracy Chapman.
rave-onion · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm Blue - Venga Boys
Awesome_johnson · 1 points · Posted at 13:04:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably Willie Nelson
BigFatBaldLoser · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sure it was bob marley as he is seen as a political leader.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yo-Landi Vi$$er
wizzahd · 1 points · Posted at 15:38:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tom Cruise
ELthumbz · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nelly Furtado?
Haiku_Description · 1 points · Posted at 16:12:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Beatles
Daximus09 · 1 points · Posted at 16:28:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am assuming either Adel or Mandisa
AegnorWildcat · 1 points · Posted at 16:43:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably Adele.
32Dog · 1 points · Posted at 16:45:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Enya
rgonzal · 1 points · Posted at 17:27:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sting
tuutruk · 1 points · Posted at 18:53:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna. Mandela. Madonna.
austin3i62 · 1 points · Posted at 19:11:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Liza Minnelli?
InfamousBLT · 1 points · Posted at 20:22:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Madonna
10maxpower01 · 1 points · Posted at 00:32:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Umm...Beyonce again.
thatfragilecapricorn · 1 points · Posted at 00:51:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was it Nicki Minaj?
MakeYouFeel · 1 points · Posted at 05:31:40 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No one will probably ever see this, but I'm pretty sure she was thinking Tracy Chapman. Her song, Fast Car, became a top 10 hit after being played at Nelson Mandela's 70th Birthday Tribute back in 1988. That is the ONLY reason that would ever feasibly mislead someone to believe that Nelson Mandela is a female singer.
Nukgci · 1 points · Posted at 07:07:03 on June 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brent Corrigan.
Twopints1977 · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:57 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Janet Jackson?
MildlyAgitatedBidoof · 1 points · Posted at 02:09:29 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Elsa
Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa · 1 points · Posted at 03:11:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dunno, probably Kanye West or some shit. He's the one who invented peanut butter right?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:35:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lady Black Mambaza
TetrisIsUnrealistic · 181 points · Posted at 07:29:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow... This tops the thread off for me.
[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 08:14:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Incognigro · 28 points · Posted at 15:24:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
also known as a regular day in Chicago
Mellowed · 3 points · Posted at 17:55:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
East Baltimore?
Mustangarrett · 8 points · Posted at 08:37:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not entirely false. There where Allied forces in northern Africa during WWII.
TetrisIsUnrealistic · 12 points · Posted at 10:50:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was fighting there and I'm not disputing that at all, but saying that it was America vs Africa is like saying the Vietnam War was between England and Wales.
ReadsStuff · 14 points · Posted at 15:54:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It wasn't? Fuck, maybe I should stop napalming Cardiff…
IAmChris_AMA · 9 points · Posted at 15:56:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
don't bother, it's only Cardiff.
MLein97 · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My gut tells me her grandfather fought in North Africa and she got Eisenhower fighting in North Africa screwed up and didn't know that the North African campain was still part of fighting the Nazi's. She also might not have payed attention in school so she was only going off stories that her Grandfather was telling because she actually listened to those.
AlexEH · 2 points · Posted at 10:07:27 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
The icing on top is that Africa is a whole fucking continent. I love it haha
megatricinerator · 1 points · Posted at 19:11:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well there was fighting in Northern Africa at the beginning of the war but it was fought by Europe and it was only for a couple years so she was partially right but for the most part, horribly wrong.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:19:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, why would she think WWII was an island?
fucking_unicorn · 1 points · Posted at 02:57:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think this thread is making me dumber because when I first read this, I assumed she meant like, in the ocean or something. Haha
0342narmak · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:55 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well we did start our fighting there...
OrangeDit · 1 points · Posted at 10:12:09 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, who won?
torn-ainbow · 1 points · Posted at 11:10:12 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was quite partial to:
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 12:32:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Really! I mean; WWII isn't,like, an island in the Pacific Ocean!
MarvinTheAndroid42 · 0 points · Posted at 12:49:20 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah, the current top comment has a girl who thought that Poland was unaffacted by the war.
solwGer · 391 points · Posted at 01:24:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHH
I knew a girl who called her boyfriend Michael, but his name was Mike...
Thats kinda funny.
DownvoteMe4Free · 286 points · Posted at 03:15:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I...I mean I guess it is. Haha.
EDIT: That's fucking hilarious.
Dillage · 110 points · Posted at 04:59:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can I get inside this joke?
Roninjuh · 332 points · Posted at 08:28:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should probably ask it to dinner first.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 18:51:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least buy it a drink.
watdafug · 1 points · Posted at 23:11:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah the joke's a tramp
ggpan · 6 points · Posted at 12:37:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupidlywierd · 2 points · Posted at 06:08:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would also enjoy that.
Toady_ · 4 points · Posted at 06:16:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We're shit out of luck.
CognitoCon · 3 points · Posted at 06:24:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe they're saying Michael is pronounced Mikhael, or something.
SailorToon · 5 points · Posted at 16:14:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
His full, entire name given at birth is Mike. He is being called Michael.
Stupidlywierd · 4 points · Posted at 06:45:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe if we work together we can figure this out!
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:03:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Guys. It's too late. I am sorry.
hL4w · 3 points · Posted at 10:42:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl she worked in a store she knew not what her life was for, she bearly knew her name.
horrorshowmalchick · 3 points · Posted at 12:52:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who reminds me of Cher, she's always changing the colour of her hair.
jakeismyname505 · 2 points · Posted at 13:09:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought it was Kelso.
Shiny_Umbreon · 1 points · Posted at 07:53:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats not funny - totally called Ben
Sadrik · 7 points · Posted at 08:10:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well about the boyfriend thingy.. if he is Jew then she is right.. she cant pronounce it, not Hebrew people just say "mikel" but the Hebrew name is said with a sound non existent in English, (the ch part)
source: Israeli Jew named Michael - and heard non Israeli people trying to say my name - they cant.
aitzim · 2 points · Posted at 18:27:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty sure it would be pronounced me-kah-el if you wanted to go with Hebrew name or replace 'kah' with 'cha' for more authenticity.
603g · 63 points · Posted at 03:54:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl who got a car stuck in the garage. the garage door was closed, and the power was out so she tried to maneuver the car out through the other garage door which was open.
Someone had to cut the garage to take the car out. Only a stupid spoiled rich brat would not know you could open the door manually.
AdvocateForTulkas · 6 points · Posted at 07:46:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait. The fuck? Someone cut the garage door open?
603g · 6 points · Posted at 12:56:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
she got the car stuck I mean stuck stuck, between the two garage doors. they didn't cut the garage door, but literally the median support between the two doors.
Edit: there was a picture I am trying to find it. She could not get out of one door, so she tried to get out of the other garage door next to it. I wish U/awildsketchappeared could draw this.
This girl also did not know the difference between a lemon and an orange.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:25:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
603g · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Like so car was stuck smack dab in the middle.
sublimesting · 1 points · Posted at 16:32:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She tried to Austen Powers the car out of the garage!!!
AdvocateForTulkas · 1 points · Posted at 16:39:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jesus christ, I'm almost impressed. How'd she manage to austin powers the tiny space between two garage doors to the point that no one could get her back out?
... I really think I might just have to applaud her on that one, I certainly couldn't manage it.
TylerDurdenisreal · 2 points · Posted at 08:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was probably jammed shut after the car hit it. Not much else to do, it would have to be replaced anyway.
AdvocateForTulkas · 1 points · Posted at 16:37:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wasn't aware she hit it. Did I miss another comment? :l
TylerDurdenisreal · 1 points · Posted at 19:23:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought it was implied. Regardless, she damaged the garage, probably pretty badly.
AdvocateForTulkas · 1 points · Posted at 19:25:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, odd. What I got from that was, "The electric opener wasn't working so she couldn't open the garage door open, but the other one was left open so she tried to get out of that one and wasn't able to. So some (other idiot) cut the garage door to help her our."
Given the thread we were in I guess I was just looking for extra stupid.
TylerDurdenisreal · 1 points · Posted at 19:29:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP posted a better reply of what happened, and it turns out I was almost correct, and not in a good way. It was even worse than I thought.
LurkerOrHydralisk · 1 points · Posted at 17:16:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Unless it had an electronic lock
603g · 1 points · Posted at 17:42:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It did not, I am telling you. the girl is stupid.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:53:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kakkuonhyvaa · 1 points · Posted at 14:46:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
no potato in latvia. only in politburo countri.
vivs007 · 3 points · Posted at 07:46:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Really makes me sad.
danny-35 · 2 points · Posted at 13:02:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait, she thought Hitler was black?
mic5228 · 2 points · Posted at 08:22:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well michael is a very rare name so...
Khoeth_Mora · 2 points · Posted at 11:57:11 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
She clearly mistook Nelson Mandela for Maya Angelou, which is fucking hilarious.
Nippless_Cage · 2 points · Posted at 13:21:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my Chem II class thought Nelson Mandela played for the Pittsburg Steelers.. I almost hit her.
Furthur_slimeking · 1 points · Posted at 16:24:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He was a multi-talented man.
what-a-doric · 1 points · Posted at 03:06:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She seems like one of those people that all you can respond with is 'oh honey'
Carwindows · 1 points · Posted at 04:01:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She must have been literally disabled or brain damaged.
ButtsexEurope · 1 points · Posted at 08:31:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She sounds like she has disabilities.
missingsf · 1 points · Posted at 12:28:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My fiance is kind of like this with historical events. She's otherwise of of the most wise and intelligent people I've ever met, but anything history related lost on her. She just has no interest in it and therefore doesn't register or retain the information. She had no idea that we (American here) won our independence from England. She knew we fought Germany in WWII but couldn't identify any other countries that participated on either side of the conflict. No idea who we fought in the War of 1812. It always freaks me out that someone so intelligent could not know these types of things. She just flat out does not care.
iamadogforreal · 1 points · Posted at 14:00:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, real potatoes.
'Merica!
firecrackrs · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Our 9th grade teacher got into a argument with a bully asking him to be kind.
Teacher-Why do you think mother teresa helped so many people... Idiot- she wanted to be rich and famous.
boofadoof · 1 points · Posted at 20:23:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wait do you mean geographically between america and africa? as in ww2 was in the middle of the ocean? holy fuck dude.
twistedpants · 1 points · Posted at 21:30:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I knew confused Nelson Mandela with Robert Mugabe...
MakeYouFeel · 1 points · Posted at 05:32:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tracy Chapman?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:42:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm fucking laughing my ass off right now.
MissMarionette · 1 points · Posted at 15:21:06 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's pronounced 'Mee-shell'!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:41:26 on May 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
OMG that last one is somehow the stupidest one in this whole thread. Michael has gotta be the top most popular male name in the Western world. How. The fuck.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:41:55 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
"her music is so good" left me trying really hard not to laugh at work.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:08:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:45:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, depending on the language, the name Michael can be kinda hard to pronounce. In german it's pronounced "mee-'soft throaty hissing sound'-ah-ell" and I've never met a native english speaker who didn't just give up and said "mike" instead. Can't blame 'em.
SolarSelect · 0 points · Posted at 07:12:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I lost it
immorganyourenot · 1223 points · Posted at 00:46:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who wrote a paper about how polar bears only live in Poland.
showyerbewbs · 376 points · Posted at 02:32:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They sent a submarine with a screen door on it to the sun at night, so it wouldn't melt.
Shiny_Umbreon · 29 points · Posted at 07:52:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Uh, what
zombierapture · 7 points · Posted at 09:55:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He went full retard.
mythrilman · 18 points · Posted at 10:07:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's a Polish joke. Granted you can substitute anyone you find stupid for Polish. It goes like this "Did you hear about the Polish space program's new mission to get to the sun?" "They're going to go at night so it doesn't get too hot."
DogByte64 · 1 points · Posted at 11:31:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's true, the blind mute told me he saw it.
Followthehollowx · 12 points · Posted at 15:33:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
So completely irrelevant story to the thread but I'm going to tell it anyway because you reminded me of it.
First for some background.
One of my best friends got into a truck accident...sort of. What happened is that he parked his truck on a hill and didn't put it in gear. (manual transmission) so it starts drifting over this hill, and he jumps in it to try to stop it. It goes over, and on the down the open door hit a tree and smashed him in the head.
Put him in a coma for 3 days, and he was out of it for weeks. After he came out of the coma, myself and other friends of his would go keep him company at the hospital. He was loopy as hell would tell ridiculous stories. At one point he tells me that he joined the Mexican space program and was assigned a mission to fly to the sun at night so he wouldn't burn up.
Months later all is well, he remembers nothing of the 2 or 3 weeks after the Coma. He's about to get a new tattoo and asks me if I had any ideas. I tell him about the mexican space program story that he'd told me, and suggest he gets the Starship Enterprise wearing a sombrero.
I'll be damned if he didn't do one better and go get a tattoo of it with the top part of the ship as a sombrero instead of wearing one.
Best tattoo ever.
TL;DR - friend talks shit after coming out of a coma, visits the sun at night. Gets a tattoo of the Mexican Starship Enterprise.
Proof - http://imgur.com/lqYWWgC.jpg
syncrophasor · 2 points · Posted at 08:57:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
WRONG! The coal powered rocket was sent to the sun you retard.
mugguffen · 2 points · Posted at 11:55:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:28:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And we've gone meta
Commander_Shepard_ · 1 points · Posted at 22:09:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
Provlovskee · 0 points · Posted at 06:17:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
and just how high are you..?
sammywestside · 311 points · Posted at 03:14:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If Poland had polar bears maybe the Germans would've thought twice about invading.
Coffeypot0904 · 621 points · Posted at 11:17:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, Poland was the only country not affected by WW2.
Mrmrlol · 20 points · Posted at 20:48:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well of course. Poland is in England and WWII was between America and Africa
draw_it_now · 9 points · Posted at 16:00:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Am I still in the same thread? Shit, I'm still in the same thread. It's not even been half a day, man.
Crazylittleloon · 38 points · Posted at 12:22:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aaaaand we've gone meta.
NWboarder · 9 points · Posted at 15:11:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We can go home now, everyone pack your bags.
messy_eater · 18 points · Posted at 16:29:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
HOW ORIGINAL YOU TWO
TTrui · 11 points · Posted at 16:48:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is free karma
Crazylittleloon · 3 points · Posted at 18:49:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Good game everyone.
Xionel24 · 2 points · Posted at 18:49:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Houston, we've gone meta.
MrBlueJay · 2 points · Posted at 20:39:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did we just go meta?
accepting_upvotes · 2 points · Posted at 22:22:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aaaand meta.
Rezavoirdog · 2 points · Posted at 00:53:34 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
We've become self aware
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:29:15 on July 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
The meta is strong with this one.
halo00to14 · 82 points · Posted at 08:34:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Even with the bears, the Polish army was out matched. Germany had fast moving tanks and air planes while the Poles had horses and dynamite. The main tactic of the Polish Army was to use horse mounted tropes to do quick hit and run counter offensives with the dynamite. Running/riding bravely into the battlefields and throwing the dynamite at the advancing German tropos.
The German main tactic was to pick up the dynamite, light the fuse, and throw it back.
Crazylittleloon · 3 points · Posted at 12:22:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Should have ridden the polar bears.
hamburgular70 · 3 points · Posted at 16:28:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel like if you wanted to say all of that you could have found another post. I mean, the connection to the polar bears mentioned above is tenuous at best.
makap · 3 points · Posted at 16:41:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I agree, and the joke itself was "meh" at best.
ElPadre78 · 2 points · Posted at 13:54:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My Grandfather told me about that he saw russians on horesebacks ride against a german tank front. He always said this guys got real balls.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:27:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now I'm picturing a 300 like scene where the sun is blocked out by a barrage of unlit dynamite raining down and German soldiers just shrugging.
draw_it_now · 2 points · Posted at 15:58:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well the obvious fix would have been to get flying polar bears.
MarvinTheAndroid42 · 0 points · Posted at 13:20:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did the Polish just become the dumbest people in this thread?
MlekarDan · 5 points · Posted at 04:39:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well most Polish polar bear units were dispatched to repel soviet invasion from the east. And though polar bears are clearly superior to common brown bears, Russian forces were ultimately victorious through their vast numbers despite Polish awesome bravery.
trebuszek · 2 points · Posted at 13:15:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Poland actually had at least one regular bear.
Butthole__Pleasures · 1 points · Posted at 11:13:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know about that. Germar bears are pretty badass, too.
skyemars · 1 points · Posted at 12:25:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. Because it seems lately that Poland was the only country not affected by WWII
Whatsmellslikepurple · 1 points · Posted at 12:27:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah, they would have invaded anyway. They had to flee the germs that were taking over Germany.
Ikillstuffalot · 1 points · Posted at 14:17:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah, just more polar bear steaks.
That_PolishGuy · 1 points · Posted at 17:43:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We did have a bear...
rp23 · 0 points · Posted at 11:41:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And then maybe we could go on the internet without someone bringing up WWII when it's relevance to the subject is stringent at best.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 08:02:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kurwa bears , winged bears with wings and plate armor
MrMastodon · 3 points · Posted at 09:44:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought you spelled koala wrong there for a second.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:58:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
lol :D
stejlor · 5 points · Posted at 14:16:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's true. We just send them across the globe for documentaries etc.
Source: I'm from Poland
maddermonkey · 2 points · Posted at 08:31:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where the hell would she even get the references for that?
NeverfearforIishere · 2 points · Posted at 08:32:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I seriously want to read that.
lizzlondon · 2 points · Posted at 12:24:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least she didn't plagiarize?
filthylimericks · 2 points · Posted at 12:32:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It took me a few seconds to grasp the full level of dumb here. Poland...Polar bears. Wow.
I3eta · 2 points · Posted at 20:46:05 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
From Poland, can confirm
Legit, I hate how everyone thinks it's cold though
UrsaPater · 2 points · Posted at 19:08:34 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a high school student who wrote in a paper that "they called it the Great Depression because it was very depressing."
tigerears · 1 points · Posted at 09:41:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They only live in Poland. They commute to work at the North Pole.
erraticerror · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL
Spitzkopf · 1 points · Posted at 11:40:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well duh, it was the only country not affected by World War II
Teh_Sauce_Guy · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Poland can into relevance!
http://i.imgur.com/ZQEeHgw.gif
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:33:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
how can someone even write a paper on that? its clearly wrong, how could you/why would you fabricate enough information to write a paper? Wouldnt you realize you fucked up?
immorganyourenot · 1 points · Posted at 18:41:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really have no idea. It was supposed to be a research paper with an oral report, and she just went on and on. It was really embarrassing.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would guess so hahaha
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:02:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Polarland
Menospan · 1 points · Posted at 16:35:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Polarbear renamed to Polandbear
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:29:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Them Pol'and' bears man.
Tyrannical_Rek · 1 points · Posted at 20:48:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't remember the context and I'm not proud of this, but my girlfriend wrote a college paper about Sonic the hedgehog and didn't understand why she got a D.
immorganyourenot · 1 points · Posted at 21:19:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh man. Hopefully it was relevant to.....something, because Sonic is awesome!
Tyrannical_Rek · 1 points · Posted at 22:11:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She thought so too.
chupacabra_cupcakes · 1 points · Posted at 21:31:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Does that mean germs all came from Germany?
immorganyourenot · 1 points · Posted at 22:14:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And all knitted/crocheted blankets come from Afghanistan
wav3break · 1 points · Posted at 01:58:38 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did she write a follow up paper in how German shepherds only lived in Germany?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:25:06 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Polaroids are polar bear steroids.
blueraider615 · 1 points · Posted at 05:08:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Poland bears
FloydPink24 · 1213 points · Posted at 00:32:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I saw a guy try to plug a 3.5mm headphone jack into a USB port once. Not accidentally or anything - he actually spent a good minute working it out.
[deleted] · 700 points · Posted at 02:31:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey don't judge....maybe he was real stoned.
honeybadga · 358 points · Posted at 03:58:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[10]
ILikeBeingWorthless · 5 points · Posted at 11:21:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[3.5]
theinternethero · 2 points · Posted at 20:14:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're going to be a lot higher than [10] at that point.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 03:19:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
i dont know man, one time i rubbed my ankle thinking it was my dick and actually ended up cumming qbefore i realized what i was doing becuae i was so high
theinternethero · 2 points · Posted at 03:22:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bro... You were at a dangerous level of high haha
Provlovskee · 2 points · Posted at 06:14:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/trees
iHateReddit_srsly · 1 points · Posted at 16:43:36 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/marijuanaenthusiasts
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:03:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can’t get iTunes to recognize my Beats. Fuck man. [8]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:47:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[3.5]
luker_man · 1 points · Posted at 18:33:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
tenouttaten
LegendaryGinger · -2 points · Posted at 04:59:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
o not []
MGLLN · 16 points · Posted at 04:43:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe he was just trying to listen to some loop zoop on YouTube...
[deleted] · 18 points · Posted at 10:31:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Godolin · 1 points · Posted at 22:22:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Day.... uh..... three..... hundred.... six.... and a couple...: Yeah, man, they found me... I think...
310represent · 3 points · Posted at 06:03:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
neffew
jerrytheman1998 · 4 points · Posted at 14:07:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Being stoned isn't an excuse for being a fucking idiot.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:52:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can't even judge. My cousin tried to figure out a touch screen phone to order dominoes while high. One of the funniest things I've ever seen
Dayzo · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This actually happened to me. I was convinced the USB port was the headphone jack and that I just needed to fiddle it a LITTLE bit more.
It was my favorite USB port too :(
[7] at the time.
slapdashbr · 1 points · Posted at 13:58:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
actually that makes a lot of sense
like putting your TV remote in the fridge to keep it fresh
willreignsomnipotent · 1 points · Posted at 04:27:22 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, sadly I have tried to do stuff like this when stoned. :/
headsh0t · 0 points · Posted at 21:02:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I get real stoned all the time and that never happens to me, mostly cause I'm not retarded.
CaigeSpade · 11 points · Posted at 11:44:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And all of a sudden /r/techsupportgore felt a disturbance
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 07:56:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I saw someone do that on a plane. First one I have been on with USB and watching him do that was aggravating. Its not that he gently tried. He just kept shoving the thing in there with a lot of force. He wasn't old either. Early 50's
Fyghter · 3 points · Posted at 12:35:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We have treadmills that have headphone jacks and USB ports after trying to stick a 3.5mm into one of the USBs it didn't fit and kept 'falling out' as he said. His solution? Begin smacking the shit out of it until it didn't fall out anymore. Not the best picture, but here is a picture of what our treadmills look like and how far apart the usb port and 3.55mm jacks are from one another
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:42:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Got a new computer and the Headphones jack was really sticky. Managed to plug into the USB port. Realized really quick when my computer immediately powersurged off. Don't do that.
etree · 6 points · Posted at 02:12:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Weird.
DownvoteMe4Free · 3 points · Posted at 03:18:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Interesting.
Nacho_Cheesus_Christ · 1 points · Posted at 18:12:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Intriguing.
PurplePotamus · 2 points · Posted at 04:45:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My laptop will actually immediately power off if you do that, and it won't come back on unless I remove the battery and hold the power button for a few seconds, then put the battery back in and power it on.
Shat my pants the first time I missed that headphone jack.
ilikalickalollipop92 · 4 points · Posted at 05:45:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well if that's the case then maybe that guy was just trying to simply turn off his computer. Or shit his pants.
JackWhiteIsGod · 2 points · Posted at 06:07:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've done that before. But only because I really wanted it to get in there
Kaos_pro · 1 points · Posted at 09:18:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I guess you could explain it. My work headphones are USB so maybe he thought that the usb plug could just carry audio like that?
arostganomo · 1 points · Posted at 11:56:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My boyfriend broke his laptop doing this. He did it accidentally though, because it was dark and he mistook his jack headphone for his usb headphone. Or so he tells me.
JonoW91 · 1 points · Posted at 16:57:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know when you're searching for the headphone port without looking because you think you'll feel like a bad as if you get it the first time. That's how he felt.
afergs · 1 points · Posted at 18:40:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like a sound decision.
electric_pig · 1 points · Posted at 20:10:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't be so fucking portist.
Pillowsword · 1 points · Posted at 20:15:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you know that a USB cable will fit perfectly in an Ethernet jack? And that more than one I've had to solve that exact problem on ship in posted to even though in am engineer and not in IT. I'm probably about 1/8th Asian so of course I'll fix all of your computer problems.
frizzledrizzle · 1 points · Posted at 21:32:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god, everyone knows you need a dac for that...
dbbo · 1 points · Posted at 00:40:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
One time I couldn't figure out why a USB mouse wasn't working on Linux on my girlfriend's laptop. I made sure the
usb_hidkernel module was loaded, checkeddmesg, but the system was just totally oblivious to the fact that there was a mouse plugged into it.At that point, I decided to inspect the physical plug.
It turns out if you blindly shove a USB plug into the center of an ethernet port, it fits.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:10:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did that once without realizing it. My computer crashed and I lost 15+ pages I wrote the day before this paper was due.
The_Serious_Account · 1 points · Posted at 10:28:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
10 posts down and the first time it's a story about a guy. Yikes.
mandrilltiger · 1 points · Posted at 10:44:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is currently the highest rated post sorted by best that is about a male. Not saying anything just thought it was interesting.
Mouthpooper · 381 points · Posted at 05:26:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in class said "wait... I thought pork chops came from chickens?" My friend had it made into a T-shirt.
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 19:40:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where could I get one of these T-shirts?
Mouthpooper · 9 points · Posted at 19:54:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend just had it custom made on customtees.com or something in that realm
SAS_Britain · 7 points · Posted at 22:53:32 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's like "Does rocks float on lava" and "People like grapes!"
EchoandtheBunnym3n · 4 points · Posted at 18:52:08 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait, some rocks can float on lava can't they? Provided their density is less than or equal to the density of the lava. And the flow of the lava is slow enough that it doesn't cause an undertow by convection
shieldvexor · 3 points · Posted at 23:54:27 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
And that they dont melt. Many fools believe lava melts anything.
EchoandtheBunnym3n · 5 points · Posted at 05:53:35 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only things whose melting temperature is less than that of the lava that is flowing over it.
Mouthpooper · 2 points · Posted at 23:35:11 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gavin's the best
rachface636 · 19 points · Posted at 02:47:30 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
HAHAHAHA This reminds me of something that happened to me as a teenager.
I was at the local mall with my two best friends Kelly and Joanna. We were in the shopping mall's food court and Kelly decided to get pizza, while Joanna and I wanted bad Chinese food. So Jo and myself are in line at the "insert crappy chain Chinese place here" when all of a sudden we hear the girl in front of us yelling at her friend not to get the strawberry chicken. Huh? We start listening. The girl is berating her friend for getting strawberry chicken instead of orange chicken because apparently the screaming girl got the strawberry chicken once and she found flesh in it. She kept screaming at her friend that she was getting "fleshy chicken!" Like, she seriously kept yelling the phrase "fleshy chicken!" How her friend didn't die of embarrassment we'll never know.
The best part? When Jo's Dad came to pick us up from the mall he told us he had come up for a name for his new boat. He wanted to call it the "Hidey Ho!" well Jo hated that and he asked her if she had a better name. We immediately suggested the "fleshy chicken!" and told him the story. He comprised by naming it "The Hidey Chicken Fleshy Ho!" and actually painted that on the boat.
PM_ME_WHAT_UR_EATING · 2 points · Posted at 15:17:15 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please let me see that T-shirt
narangutang · 1 points · Posted at 14:26:19 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pics or it didn't happen
kjbrasda · 837 points · Posted at 01:18:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Almost forgot about my college roommate. She once missed the first three exits to a city because she forgot where she was going.
She once told me she would never breastfeed her children because it would hurt too much to poke the holes. When asked how she thought animals nursed their young she said, "well, don't they just gnaw the ends off?"
Edit to add: she also got into a drunken knockdown fight in the street with another girl over a gay guy.
Wonky_dialup · 67 points · Posted at 07:17:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I imagined getting a nipple gnawed off. I got dizzy with fear.
Edit: Too many typos
SpikeMF · 5 points · Posted at 15:48:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well... sfw, but still dizzying
[deleted] · 294 points · Posted at 07:10:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Breastfeeding would hurt too much. Poking holes into your nipple is going to hurt more than a sevenish pound human being coming out of your vagina.
facepalm Some people's children.
Bronzdragon · 30 points · Posted at 12:54:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just because you've had a painful experience once doesn't mean you're instantly immune to pain.
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 12:07:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
breastfeeding hurts a lot when it's not done right. don't underestimate the pain of a cracked nipple or breast infection.
cantbrainIhasthedumb · 9 points · Posted at 12:53:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dat mastitis
fifteentango88 · 3 points · Posted at 12:46:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's not what he said, but yeah.
[deleted] · -7 points · Posted at 15:37:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Childbirth doesn't hurt as much as you think. Source: I'm a father and I've seen the process. Twice.
Edit: Take it easy, folks. It was obviously a joke. It looked painful. Pro tip though: look into "hypnobirthing." It's not crazy, like I initially assumed. It's mostly about extreme relaxation so you don't tense your muscles.
Kakkuonhyvaa · 8 points · Posted at 16:10:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol
Tuub4 · 3 points · Posted at 18:50:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cake.
Kakkuonhyvaa · 2 points · Posted at 09:32:41 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tuba.
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 12:55:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So she thinks nipples are like cigars? Just bite that end off and you're ready to light those bad boys
kjbrasda · 3 points · Posted at 15:38:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty much.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:14:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/evenWithContext .. you've earned it
tehsux · 13 points · Posted at 13:34:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ohgod
gradeahonky · 13 points · Posted at 14:31:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There is stupid that doesn't know something it should. And then there is stupid that invents a whole world with a back story and new physical laws to uphold their misconceptions.
anderstm · 7 points · Posted at 14:56:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mom use to ride horses when she was younger. On her way to the stables she once drove from Buffalo to the Pennsylvania state line before she realized she was driving the wrong direction.
I'm not saying my mom is dumb, she just has the worst sense of direction I've ever seen.
dontknowmeatall · 8 points · Posted at 14:28:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tell her the baby dies without mum's milk. We don't need her DNA in the pool.
skinsfan55 · 4 points · Posted at 13:44:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I... I... what?
Ohang · 5 points · Posted at 18:00:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In her defense about the nurse feeding comment, my aunt, who raised me, tried to scare me from breast feeding when I was a child.
She told me that when I eventually have my baby when I am older, they would have to stab my nipples with needles so that milk could come out.
I told her I didn't care. Had my son 2 years ago. No nipple stabbing necessary. Granted, by that point I didn't believe that anymore.
kjbrasda · 2 points · Posted at 18:25:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats horrible. I'm glad you were able to breastfeed as you wanted.
Yeah, she went to school at a private Christian school, and I got the impression when I met her parents, that they would have avoided talking about breasts and pregnancy and the like.
Ohang · 6 points · Posted at 18:45:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was a wondrous experience!
My aunt was also like that, but in her case, it is also probably because she was born during a time when "Formula is the best you could ever give your child!" That and boobs=sexual to her. She's almost sixty, now.
Regardless, she now doesn't believe she ever said that to me, and believes all mothers should breast feed. It's all funny now!
WittiestScreenName · 3 points · Posted at 19:27:26 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Clown college?
kjbrasda · 1 points · Posted at 20:16:58 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
LOL, technical college. I don't think she graduated.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 00:39:01 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, I thought that you had to poke holes in your nipples, as well. When I was six.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:32:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
lol, so she’s one of those.
There always seemed to be girls in my college cafeteria fighting over guys.
Like, seriously? He cheated on one of you. Why would either of you want him anymore?
Duckcarer · 1 points · Posted at 07:18:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh wow. For a second I thought you wrote chicken instead of children...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:41:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
kjbrasda · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Certainly possible.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I'm not thinking I've missed a turning on the motorway before. I drive down the road all the time and very rarely have to turn off at this junction. When I am going that way I've been on autopilot until after it.
DownWithTheShip · 1 points · Posted at 22:42:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think we could potentially use this information to make sure she never gives birth to another person.
"Want a baby? Did you poke a hole in your vagina yet? Can't have a baby unless you do. How else would it get out?"
PlaidShirtz · 1 points · Posted at 16:27:30 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair I've spaced before and missed my exit
Coylie3 · 1 points · Posted at 03:05:59 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can understand her forgetting where she's going. I'm too scared to focus on what turns to take very often.
I need to have someone in the car telling me where to go. I have a GPS and it helps immensely, but I hate using it. I digress.
I'm too focused on what everyone else is doing to focus on where I'm supposed to go. I'm terrified of other drivers. I get lost like she does very often because of that.
eliasv · 1 points · Posted at 12:16:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair breastfeeding can be super painful for some women, and babies have been known to suck and chew until the nipple is practically hanging off by a thread... People get infections and stuff.
kjbrasda · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
By a thread? unlikely. It can be painful, this is why we need adequate education, support and help for mothers who want to breastfeed. That would reduce frustration, improper latch and infection rates. However, non of that involves poking holes with a needle.
eliasv · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well obviously...
shadow1515 · 0 points · Posted at 17:21:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If "they" are the breastfeeding children, she wasn't far off.
kjbrasda · 2 points · Posted at 17:42:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What? No they don't. They might bite occasionally, but they soon learn that they don't get fed that way.
Maybe I wasn't clear. She thought nipples needed to be opened to be used for breastfeeding, like taking the cap off a bottle of pop
7-SE7EN-7 · 0 points · Posted at 18:02:04 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope she never breastfeed her children for lack of children to breastfeed
GreenBasil · 837 points · Posted at 23:42:53 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a girl in my high school who thought rhinos were the last remaining dinosaurs. Oh and she was shocked when she found out that rice came from plants. Smart girl, that one.
OG-Snoopy · 455 points · Posted at 02:30:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought rice came from Asia?
Ask_Me_If_Im_Plato · 745 points · Posted at 02:59:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Asia is a kind of plant dummie
barkjon · 209 points · Posted at 04:49:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you Plato
Mrmrlol · 5 points · Posted at 20:57:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, Plato isn't a planet anymore
barkjon · 3 points · Posted at 21:13:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You heard about Plato?
Messed up, right?
mercado1611 · 4 points · Posted at 11:22:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You forgot the most important part of your question.
mlennon15 · 2 points · Posted at 17:58:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
WE NEED AN ANSWER!!!
pottomus · 2 points · Posted at 18:23:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah, a platato.
hamsimonder · 2 points · Posted at 21:53:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pluto *
ASK_ME_IF_IM_ODIN · 2 points · Posted at 18:32:54 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I love playdoh!
ggppjj · 1 points · Posted at 02:42:35 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
ARE YOU ODIN?
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 08:04:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 11:58:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Eventually he will ..cave in and respond to the question.
b2311e · 1 points · Posted at 15:17:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
slow clap
I suppose the allegory of the cave is fairly accurate if applied to some of the people described ITT
EntropyKC · 3 points · Posted at 12:45:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's this guy, and the ASK_ME_IF_IM_A_TRUCK guy etc. They all get a lot of karma from answering the questions, and the people asking also get karma. It's kinda stupid, but it's how reddit works.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:07:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What?
geekmuseNU · 2 points · Posted at 13:32:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
username bro
ActionKbob · 0 points · Posted at 22:56:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought it was an 80s band. Shows what I know
DucksGoQuackQuack · -1 points · Posted at 04:10:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What if Asia was, like, a planet?
pertichor · 5 points · Posted at 03:41:17 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Once, a girl in my 6th grade social science class was asked by the teacher, "What continent is China part of?"
Her name was 'Deja', pronounced D' Asia. The teacher then said, "It rhymes with your name!"
She said America.
Kilojewl · 1 points · Posted at 07:40:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
PASTA (noodles) originated in China. . Not Italy
Coffeypot0904 · 1 points · Posted at 11:24:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The lovely region of Plant, Asia.
Argit · 1 points · Posted at 01:07:06 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, it only grows in north Plants.
notthepapa · 298 points · Posted at 00:59:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Noticing a pattern here. Why are almost all the examples of girls?
Dutch_Oven911 · 1501 points · Posted at 01:03:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is because stupid guys usually die when they do stupid things.
notthepapa · 576 points · Posted at 01:16:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I prefer that answer over sexism.
dsjunior1388 · 600 points · Posted at 01:44:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also stupid guys, stupidish guys, mediocre intelligence guys and even smartish guys realize at a very young age to either shut the fuck up or make a joke. Girls, especially pretty ones, don't get the same reaction every time they open their mouths.
[deleted] · 500 points · Posted at 02:03:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep. Guy says something stupid, everybody in the city calls him retarded, gives him weird looks, and doesn't let him forget it.
Girl says something stupid and she gets a few "uh huh", and maybe a few shifty glances. If she's not "pretty", she gets roughly the same treatment as a guy.
So...yeah, basically sexism.
OhHowDroll · 41 points · Posted at 07:07:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know if that's sexism so much as it is "Wanting to fuck that person"
not_a_relevant_name · 12 points · Posted at 11:38:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm fairly certain one could argue that sexism is involved in "wanting to fuck that person."
ChimpsRFullOfScience · 34 points · Posted at 11:52:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL not wanting to fuck dudes is sexist.
ukdanny93 · 8 points · Posted at 12:18:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
cis-scum
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:19:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn straight, bigoted shitlord.
Hoovooloo42 · 3 points · Posted at 22:39:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't think that's how that works.
FLR21 · 9 points · Posted at 05:32:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I never thought of it that way. It makes a lot of sense though!
fuckyoubarry · 3 points · Posted at 11:41:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The ugly stupid girls get put in special classes, the hot stupid girls get talked into stuff by guys and become popular.
Mark_That · 12 points · Posted at 08:36:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When a girl is dumb as a bag of sand she is cute and it's funny...
Totesnotatwork · 1 points · Posted at 12:01:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Except against guys. They get the short end of the stick. You slip up a word? BAM, you will not hear the end of it for the next sixteen and a half years.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 13:28:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm guessing your word had something to do with butt stuff.
[deleted] · -5 points · Posted at 03:45:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
how bad do you have to fuck up to be called a retard by the entire city wtf ? I mean , it's not that bad.
Kaos_pro · 11 points · Posted at 09:20:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ask Tony Abbott.
kornberg · 8 points · Posted at 17:01:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also many girls, especially in junior and high school, dumb themselves down because they think they are supposed to. I did it for about a month before I wanted to bludgeon myself after I said "Tee-hee! I don't even knooooooow /giggle" about 50 times in a day.
ryan9911 · 5 points · Posted at 08:46:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That fact that they were smart enough to keep their mouths shut makes them ineligible for this thread.
Sparcrypt · 2 points · Posted at 12:22:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, it's the stupid guys who let them get away with it. So by extension....
progbuck · 2 points · Posted at 13:36:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also, smart girls can intimidate guys. Many guys don't like a girl showing them up. As a result, many girls play up their "ditziness" in order to avoid putting guys off. That's why "ditzy" and "popular" seemingly go so hand-in-hand.
koecerion · -4 points · Posted at 12:29:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yea they get a dick in there everytime they say open their mouth... If they are hot
Like so...
notthepapa · 2 points · Posted at 23:47:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was uncalled for.
LegendaryGinger · 5 points · Posted at 05:01:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't that answer sexism?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:39:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
really? Kind of an asshole response. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU women can (and are) be just as sexist as men.
11k_ · 1 points · Posted at 21:39:49 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class said to my friend that he would not be as annoying if he was a girl. he called her a sexist, to which she responded with: it's true because girls are much wiser.
She also ask these stupid questions like: how can rocks be made of atoms if they are made of stone?
Tlahuixcalpantecuhtl · -1 points · Posted at 09:02:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is sexism, though.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 10:22:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hold my beer.
starlinguk · 4 points · Posted at 08:28:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hold my beer...
icypops · 3 points · Posted at 16:33:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually have a guy one! One of the lads in my class asked us what date Christmas was. He was a very practicing Christian and definitely celebrated Christmas because he had just finished telling is about when he found out Santa wasn't real but somehow he didn't know what date Christmas was. He also asked us what date New Year's Day was on.
Also we're in an animal care class and he asked our anatomy teacher how whales breathe (we were learning the respiratory system at the time) and when the teacher explained that they had lungs like other mammals he asked us how they didn't drown when they breathed under water. He's literally the first person I've ever met that's made it to college (with an interest in animals to boot) that didn't know that whales come to the surface to breathe.
Zoesan · 2 points · Posted at 21:05:18 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am stupid guy, almost died a couple times.
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 13:34:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reddit is predominately male and they tend to notice, and care, a lot more when girls say stupid things.
frizzledrizzle · 5 points · Posted at 21:45:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kevin isn't dead, yet.
workaccno33 · 7 points · Posted at 08:43:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The pattern is reddit.
horrorshowmalchick · 4 points · Posted at 13:17:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Insuffucient data. The following factors are all possible given current information. Further research would be needed to see their relevant extents.
Female bias -
Guys could be less likely to be paying enough attention if they don't understand something. They could be more used to being made fun of by each other if they say something stupid, so keep it to themselves. Guys might prefer telling stories about stupid girls because of confirmation bias.
Male bias -
Girls could be more likely to lack the cognitive ability to think things through and cross reference their thoughts with what they already know. Girls might enjoy telling stories about other girls' stupidity to make themselves look better by comparison. Girls might be less used to open, on the spot ridicule than guys, so feel less inhibited to speak their mind.
Edit: also, maybe girls act dumber than they really are in an effort to seem more vulnerable / attractive. Maybe they want to allow potential suitors to feel superior.
Pardonme23 · 7 points · Posted at 08:06:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cuz reddit is mostly guys
ShamelessDistraction · 9 points · Posted at 05:35:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because boys go to college to get more knowledge, while most girls go to Jupiter, and often get more stupider.
Pardonme23 · -15 points · Posted at 08:08:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girls do better in school than boys do now, mostly cuz they don't waste so much time fapping/video games/ failing to get laid
mandrilltiger · 8 points · Posted at 11:05:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you seriously think his rhyme was an attempt to explain why its mostly girls and think you need to defend girls.
Pardonme23 · 3 points · Posted at 17:04:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. I made a mistake. sorry.
ScramblesTD · 3 points · Posted at 13:17:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm going to assume you're either not American or you just sort of materialized as an adult and never had a childhood.
That's a kid's rhyme, genius.
redditopus · 4 points · Posted at 15:48:01 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reddit is mostly male and I suspect the young men are more likely to notice women doing stupid things because 1) they're members of the sex most of them are after and 2) some of the young men on Reddit have a bit of a sexist streak
I notice more male stupidity than female stupidity, myself, but I'm female.
ButtsexEurope · 6 points · Posted at 08:39:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because sexism. Stupid guys are funny. Stupid girls are cancerous bimbos and only good for sex.
rahtin · 3 points · Posted at 04:33:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Men are different kinds of stupid.
EmpressLeo · 6 points · Posted at 19:55:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I notice this too and it's the same in other posts I've seen requesting dumb things people do or say. Majority of the idiots are female. As a woman, it makes me upset.
meow_mix8 · 4 points · Posted at 00:44:37 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah. My mother in law and sister in law act dumb so they don't have to use their brains for certain things. If you start saying anything remotely science they don't get it, even if it is a simple concept. They were taught that if they act stupid, they don't have to work at certain things. It is easier for them to say "I'm bad at math" instead of just trying to learn the concepts. They can be smart but culturally they've forced themselves into this corner of people that excuse their actions because they are cute. It is just really sad. They both have such high potential and just throw it away because they're too lazy. I think it might be that more women are this way because if they're cute or pretty their dumb actions are excused and they don't try to correct themselves. I think males are called out more frequently than females if they're acting dumb. Which sucks. So many women have so much potential and throw it away. It is just frustrating.
phySi0 · 3 points · Posted at 13:08:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
The majority of the idiots you're hearing about here are female. The majority of the idiots are actually male (but so are the majority of geniuses, sorry :P), but you don't really hear about male idiots because they either die or get called out more often (are the current top answers, which I would say make sense).
notthepapa · 3 points · Posted at 23:54:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Same here.
mycleverusername · 3 points · Posted at 15:11:19 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
From my little anecdotal evidence, it's because girls SAY more of the dumb things that most of the guys are only thinking. It seems there are more dumb guys when you attempt to have a conversation with them, but the girls say things without engagement.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:08:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i think there is also something going on culturally but i have no idea. i've also met a lot of dumb women.
inhale_exhale_repeat · 1 points · Posted at 14:00:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Women actually score a point higher than men on IQ tests.
shieldvexor · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:44 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Source? Every study ive ever seen said men score 4 points higher and have a far, far greater variance than women
inhale_exhale_repeat · 1 points · Posted at 03:23:21 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Its a new trend but I'm sure it'll continue http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/9401241/IQ-tests-women-score-higher-than-men.html. obviously we'll have to see but I'm sure as women participate more in the work force they'll continue to adapt.
RaguInPasta · 1 points · Posted at 03:21:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is really weird. Just after reading the top comment,your comment wasn't on the screen,that's what I noticed too!
We have a connection
firehatchet · 0 points · Posted at 14:55:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because girls can get away with being stupid if they're hot.
xXZHeatWaveZXx · 0 points · Posted at 04:05:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm starting to notice a pattern here. Does the square peg fit in the round hole? No? Well maybe the square peg does?
giant_bug · 0 points · Posted at 02:31:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For some reason, it's always this way when this question comes up.
DownvoteMe4Free · 1 points · Posted at 03:19:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I bet she got straight A's.
theshortkidd · 1 points · Posted at 06:28:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had my mouse cursor covering the r in rice so I thought you meant ice came from plants. I was mindblown.
UsuallyInappropriate · 1 points · Posted at 09:58:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...I used to think rice was a kind of pasta >_>
megablast · 1 points · Posted at 10:43:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you are going to pick any animal, a rhino is a good guess. Crocodiles are actually dinosaurs in a way that they were alive at the same time.
horrorshowmalchick · 1 points · Posted at 13:00:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Rhinosaurus!!
ImperialMarketTroope · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Eh.....
Rhinos might not be dinosaurs, but they are pretty crazy looking
MasonNowa · 1 points · Posted at 18:04:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least rhinos do kind of look like they could be dinosaurs
Smoothvirus · 1 points · Posted at 18:22:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just wait till she finds out what birds really are.
billlampley · 1 points · Posted at 18:44:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha I've actually thought about this, only jokingly, but I like to pronounce it rhinosaurus. Kinda like stegosaurus, or brontosaurus.
IAmAMagicLion · 1 points · Posted at 19:48:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are hundreds of millions of dinosaurs alive today. The more you learn about dinosaurs the more similar to birds to realise they are.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:18:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl also told me rhinos were the last remaining dinosaurs.
Hmmm.
enocenip · 1 points · Posted at 01:58:27 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, a rhinosaurus.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:06:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i didnt know the rhino thing...
NicolasCageIsMyHero · 181 points · Posted at 07:53:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who genuinely believes that gorillas and giraffes are not real and the ones at the local zoo are just people in costumes.
NotEsther · 22 points · Posted at 12:02:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What the fuck shape of person does she imagine being a convincing giraffe!?
Prosopagnosiape · 19 points · Posted at 23:54:19 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bit late, but the amazing lion king musical has some great giraffe costumes. Perhaps even better than some of the other costumes, which require you to ignore the visible portions of human that look like they are humping the puppets.
Concise_Pirate · 4 points · Posted at 21:15:04 on May 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tall.
clovercross · 10 points · Posted at 01:19:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a kid like that, only he claimed wolves were mythical creatures that had no place in the real world.
gokart-mozart · 5 points · Posted at 13:53:19 on June 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Show her a vid of a giraffe fight, might reinforce her belief.
ZetaLightning94 · 88 points · Posted at 07:11:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sister who is a year older then me. sees a Obama-Biden sign "So that's Obama's last name? Biden?"
bastocrat · 8 points · Posted at 17:55:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes, "Barack Thank You Obama Hussein Biden".
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:18:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Paging Darwin line 3 please hold
ThemDangVidyaGames · 7 points · Posted at 23:11:24 on September 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
"But how do I hold the line? There's no cord on my smartphone?!?"
flamedarkfire · -2 points · Posted at 13:05:23 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Future Democrat voter right there.
[deleted] · 903 points · Posted at 23:52:16 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had to watch the movie 'Defiance' in my english class and afterwards this girl put her hand up and asked, "Is Jewish a country?" Later on after after watching Defiance (which is about three Jewish brothers in Nazi occupied Europe) for the SECOND time she asked," Wait.... Were they brothers!?" I wanted to throw a stapler at her.
[deleted] · 302 points · Posted at 00:56:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was she hot?
ThatsAThingUKnowNow · 435 points · Posted at 03:50:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was the stapler thrown? Therein lies your answer
ThickDickVein · 12 points · Posted at 12:37:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was the stapler hot?
Black_Hipster · 1 points · Posted at 19:27:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aren't they all?
Black_Hipster · -4 points · Posted at 19:27:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aren't they all?
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 12:43:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe that's my stapler
bogarthskernfeld · 1 points · Posted at 06:18:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope so.
ProJokeExplainer · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:23 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was the stapler hot?
ThatsAThingUKnowNow · 1 points · Posted at 21:35:38 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shhhh were talking about fingerblasting buttholes now, come join us
cadaverco · 88 points · Posted at 01:51:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm guessing yes
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:40:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
cadaverco · 0 points · Posted at 12:40:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They just get rich guys.
Eric030100 · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes to the stapler being thrown or yes to her being hot?
blahbob00 · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hi cadaver!
cadaverco · 1 points · Posted at 20:22:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hi blahbob. Saw a comment that said hi cadaver in my inbox and figured it'd be you :P
blahbob00 · 1 points · Posted at 20:25:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Its always me :3
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 02:25:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That seems to be the general fare for hot women.
Vectoor · 5 points · Posted at 04:16:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For her sake I hope so.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:07:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's a really hot girl in my class but she has an extremely hard time figuring out questions like 2+4, and once in our biology class she says "So plasma membranes are like blood bones, right? In the synovial thing?"
SpaceOdysseus · 1 points · Posted at 18:10:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She had eyes that went all the way to her hips and her legs were the deepest blue you could imagine.
hurpington · 1 points · Posted at 20:28:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If she isnt then life is gonna suck
solwGer · 222 points · Posted at 01:16:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I have a similar girl in my math class.
She didnt belive (a+b)² = a²+2ab+b²
THIS WAS IN 12TH GRADE.
I ended up throwing a puncher at her, and having to write a 6 pages-long text, why its dangerous to throw punchers at people.
EDIT: Remebered another story of the same girl.
She asked if Cologne is east or westcoast.
She believed -(x-y)=x-y.
She said that she thinks all english speaking people are stupid, because they invented a new language, instead of just speaking german, like EVERYONE ELSE ON THE WHOLE PLANET. (This was in 11th grade, and she actually believed all other people invented new languages, and that german was the first langue that ever existed.)
EDIT 2: Asked other classmates if they remember other stories about her.
She asked our Physicsteacher why we cant see the sun moving.
She said she will become a hotel-manager or a top-model. (Both didnt work out, obviously)
My best friend made a research paper in math, and he gave it to the teacher on monday.
She found a copy of it, and copied the copy, and gave it the teacher on friday, and then said, my friend copied from her. Teacher gets both two in a room, and asked 3 basic questions about the reseach paper. She didnt know any of them.
EDIT 3: Sorry for my mistakes, english is Not my native language.
Because of the time-shift between Germany and USA, I wrote this text at 2:30 AM and I wrote the edits at 3:30 AM
Usally my english is better.
EDIT 4: We didnt bullie her, and besides her dumbness she was a cool girl to hangout with. We were never offensive and we never bullied her. Sorry if the text above seems offensive.
sblingfunisgay · 133 points · Posted at 01:24:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe because (a+b)2 = a2 + 2ab + b2
duelbrother · 58 points · Posted at 01:34:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Her attitude about the language part seems like an attitude people would have had 70-80 years ago in Germany.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 07:53:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She probably heard the term "Germanic" come up in etymological discussions and assumed it was referring to the modern German tongue.
benjaminovich · 4 points · Posted at 17:02:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
hmmm... I don't think so actually.
German in German is "Deutsch".
Germanic is called Germanisch in German.
sorry if that's a little entangled, but the words a sufficiently different that I don't think that was the cause.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:50:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seems like it could be that but from my personal experience I learned about ethnogenesis and and various language families from history, history which is of course learned in the chronological order in which Mesopotamian and Egyptian languages followed by Romance ones should sufficiently predate the Germanic ones.(in the course of studying)
Provlovskee · 2 points · Posted at 06:13:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
sharp inhale through teeth
the_reveler · 1 points · Posted at 10:35:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
more like 700-800 years ago.
Joon01 · 1 points · Posted at 11:10:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In the Adventures of Huck Finn, didn't Jim have a conversation with Huck along those lines? He kept asking why French people would speak French instead of talking normal.
solwGer · 5 points · Posted at 01:32:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I swear i typed 2ab...I think my numpad was deactivated, and I didnt check for any mistakes....
djEdible · 2 points · Posted at 10:01:28 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's ok, we believe you
2_STEPS_FROM_america · 0 points · Posted at 01:34:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
rekkkkkkt
Saywha33 · 0 points · Posted at 04:10:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
(a+b)2 = (a+b)(a+b)
a * a = a2
a * b = ab
b * b = b2
a * b = ab
ab * ab = 2ab
a2 + 2ab + b2
tada
BucketHelm · 10 points · Posted at 08:51:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Saywha33 · 2 points · Posted at 14:36:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my bad. haven't been in Algebra for 3 years.
Inkompetent · 3 points · Posted at 09:50:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ab * ab = a2 b2 (or (ab)2 , however you want to write it)
ButtsexEurope · 29 points · Posted at 08:37:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The math stuff isn't really stupid. It seems more like she didn't understand.
FlyingChange · 5 points · Posted at 04:14:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is so very, very sad...
Also, I really like the little bits of German grammar and spelling that seeped in.
Woher in Deutschland kommen Sie? (Entschuldigung, meine Deutsch ist schrecklich).
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 05:56:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ich komme aus Bonn, which is near cologne.
Because of the time-shift between Germany and USA, I wrote this text at 2:30 AM and I wrote the edits at 3:30 AM.
My English is usually better.
FlyingChange · 2 points · Posted at 07:22:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your English is better than my German. And I enjoy the little idiosyncrasies, and anybody who doesn't probably hates fun.
solwGer · 2 points · Posted at 15:25:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dont like that people can tell that I´m german, just because they read a text I wrote. Reminds me how bad my English is.
Anyway I love idiosyncrasies the other way around. I always smile if I "catch" my Math-teacher (who is a native American) slipping in some english expressions.
FlyingChange · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Once, back when my high school German teacher was living in German for the first time in his youth, he hosted some sort of dinner party at his apartment. When his apartment makes asked what he was doing, he said that he was cleaning because, "Der Große Käse kommen.
Nobody really says this anymore, but people here used to say "she/he is the big cheese" as slang for saying "he/she is the boss."
His German friends were very concerned about the large cheese that was about to come to the apartment.
Dot--Com · 2 points · Posted at 05:01:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Throwing punchers!! You must be a scientest, congrats on your smartness. Don't bully that poor girl to death dude
solwGer · 3 points · Posted at 05:51:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We didnt bullie her, and besides her dumbness she was a cool girl to hangout with. We were never offensive and we never bullied her.
Sorry if the text above seems offensive.
Dot--Com · 3 points · Posted at 06:00:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's Cool, I let my feels take me on a journey! Peace
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 07:21:05 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 07:40:58 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm currently dateing her.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 13:38:02 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:28 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, you got it! Since you're such a cool guy, can I ask you for relationship advice?
She gives me oral often because she loves me sooooo much, but she doesn't swallow. to force her to do it I hit her teeth out with a brick. now she wants to brake up with me. is she in the right to do so?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:09:55 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 14:24:45 on September 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
You saw a mirror for the first time ever?
arostganomo · 2 points · Posted at 11:59:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah 9th grade is quite a while ago for me but I never got (a+b)² = a²+2ab+b² either. It's like magic, just had to learn it by heart.
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Ok more magic will come:
(a+b)2 = a2 + 2ab + b2
(a-b)2 = a2 - 2ab + b2
(a+b)(a-b) = a2 - b2
skullturf · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's really not magic.
It's a consequence of things like a(x+y) = ax+ay.
Multiplying by a sum is equivalent to multiplying by every term in the sum.
If all donuts cost 75 cents each, and you buy 3 donuts of one flavor and 5 donuts of another flavor, then you can think of that as either
75 times (3+5)
or
(75 times 3) + (75 times 5)
And that's true not just for 75, 3, and 5, but for any numbers.
So a(x+y) is the same as ax+ay.
Now, consider (a+b)2.
That means (a+b) times (a+b).
By the above reasoning, that's the same as
((a+b) times a) + ((a+b) times b)
Which, in turn, is
(a times a) + (b times a) + (a times b) + (b times b)
When you multiply by a sum, you multiply by every term in the sum.
arostganomo · 1 points · Posted at 13:20:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I still don't see it. Thanks for the effort but it's not something I can ever grasp I'm afraid. Not that I ever need this in real life, so no need to feel sad.
skullturf · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You only gave it 3 minutes. So don't say you can "never grasp" it. We teach this to children.
Are you okay with this part, with the donuts?
75 times (3+5) is the same as (75 times 3) + (75 times 5)
That is something we use in real life.
http://www.mathsisfun.com/definitions/distributive-law.html
arostganomo · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've had to learn it year after year in middle and high school and never understood it then either. I ended up being allowed to use a chart during tests after I was diagnosed with dyscalculia. So no, I really don't think I can grasp it. Yeah I understand the donut part, but after that it's just random letters and symbols to me. I've never had to use it irl. Maybe it could be helpful when buying donuts, but i'll just add them all up and that works too.
skullturf · 1 points · Posted at 14:36:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's really not, though.
If you're okay with
75 times (3+5) is the same as (75 times 3) + (75 times 5)
and if you're also okay with the example in the link, which shows that
3 groups of "2 plus 4" is the same as (3 groups of 2) plus (3 groups of 4)
then you should also be okay with
a times (b plus c) is equal to (a times b) plus (a times c)
because it's the same thing. Sure, it uses letters instead of numbers, but it's exactly the same relationship.
We're not using letters in order to be weird or tricky. We're using letters because the relationship is true not only for the numbers 75 and 3 and 5, or 3 and 2 and 4, but for any numbers.
And then, if you're okay with
a times (b plus c) is equal to (a times b) plus (a times c)
then you can apply the same principle to longer problems. The problems might take more time, but they use the same underlying principles.
Sorry. I don't mean to pick on you or anything. I just find it frustrating when people think that algebra is weird or esoteric, or has no relation to everyday life.
Numbers and quantities and areas are in daily life all the time. Reasoning correctly about quantities, and noticing relationships between numbers, very much is part of everyday life.
arostganomo · 3 points · Posted at 14:59:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm staring at it but I don't see the logic, I'm sorry. It's as if I grasp one step but then two seconds later when I move on to the next step it's just… gone. I know it must be frustrating to someone who does understand, it must look so simple once you get it. I really appreciate the effort though.
skullturf · 1 points · Posted at 15:17:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
3 groups of "2 plus 4" is the same as (3 groups of 2) plus (3 groups of 4)
3 times (2 plus 4) is equal to (3 times 2) plus (3 times 4)
a times (b plus c) is equal to (a times b) plus (a times c)
and then if you believe that, you can move on to
"complicated thing" times (b plus c) is equal to ("complicated thing" times b) plus ("complicated thing" times c)
moartoast · 1 points · Posted at 23:07:57 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I'm late to the math party but if you want to play I will come back and bust out the geometric reason it's true. It's a different sort of logic and you can draw a picture, I find it much more satisfying than the algebraic reason.
The symbol-pushing of algebra is HARD. It took a series of medieval geniuses to invent it in the first place.
Edit:
Here it is. The area of the whole square is (a+b)2, and you divide it into pieces like so: http://www.mathsisfun.com/algebra/images/x-y-2-diagram.gif
The areas of the pieces are a2, b2, a*b, and another a*b, which sum to the formula you were taught. You can use a similar picture to derive the equivalent formula for (a+b+c)2.
This works with (a+b+c)3 but you need a cube: http://www.infomontessori.com/sensorial/visual-sense-trinomial-cube.htm
InTheLifeOfAThrowawa · 1 points · Posted at 03:53:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What the fuck is a puncher?
What kind of measurement is "site" for length?
FlyingChange · 3 points · Posted at 04:16:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A hole puncher, presumably.
I'm guessing either page or line with an error in translation.
InTheLifeOfAThrowawa · 1 points · Posted at 19:49:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
thank you.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:24:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
solwGer · 0 points · Posted at 06:29:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
(a+b)² = (a+b)(a+b)
a * a = a²
a * b = ab
b * b = b²
a * b = ab
ab + ab = 2ab
a² + 2ab + b²
BucketHelm · 1 points · Posted at 08:53:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You missed a "^".
solwGer · 2 points · Posted at 11:45:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I missed all ""I typed that in a bus in a hurry.
GrizzlyBCanada · 1 points · Posted at 09:29:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
English is a silly language anyhow. She had better have been attractive is all I can say.
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 11:45:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
she wasn't ;((
Teh_Sauce_Guy · 1 points · Posted at 13:46:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I could tell you were German
I have good guessing skills!
jordanrevenge · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm in college algebra this semester and have been out of high school for nine years. This is the first math class I have had since then. I swear some of these fresh off the high school boat students are complete imbeciles with the questions they ask. And my professor walks us step by step:
"multiply the 5 and the 7 together and you put the 35 here"
"wait, where did you get the 35?"
/headdesk
Also the whole negative plus a negative is a positive, and neg+pos=neg is beyond their realm of comprehension.
solwGer · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl believed the outcome of a term is negative when there is ANY "-" in it.
So x-y is automaticly negative. Cause it has a "-" in it.
BGYeti · 1 points · Posted at 15:47:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Surprisingly some people are bad at math and I could excuse not know (a+b)2 = a2 +2ab +b2, the other things I cannot excuse.
WhistlingZebra · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So the idiot in this story is you? Right?
crookedparadigm · 1 points · Posted at 18:46:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer either.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I never get why you guys always say 'sorry for my English' because it reads better than what most people I know could write. Didn't even consider you weren't from an English speaking country.
Anyway, on a more relevant note, bitches be crazy.
solwGer · 2 points · Posted at 18:57:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You sir, just made my day. Thank you.
Mrlord99 · 1 points · Posted at 19:21:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, she's not the only one to never get High School Algebra..
Vitenskapsmann · 1 points · Posted at 23:25:45 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I don't think this is so bad, and I would be happy if a high school student questioned me on this. It isn't immediately clear why the left side is equivalent to the right side until you look at the problem geometrically.
englishamerican · 1 points · Posted at 19:12:59 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's also kinda stupid throwing a hole puncher when you're in TWELFTH GRADE...
EchoandtheBunnym3n · 1 points · Posted at 18:57:36 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
How I'd answer it: BECAUSE IT'LL BURN YOUR EYES!
I'm not a nice person
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 19:33:15 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
I currently have on this girl, and im dating her. Please send help
Pianoangel420 · 1 points · Posted at 04:43:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
*Believe
*Remembered
*Story
*Language
*Everyone else
*Languages
*Manager
*Math
*On Monday
*On Friday
*Didn't know
Oh boy....
solwGer · 5 points · Posted at 05:58:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry for all the mistakes, english is Not my native language.
Because of the time-shift between Germany and USA, I wrote this text at 2:30 AM and I wrote the edits at 3:30 AM
Usally my english is better.
Pianoangel420 · 5 points · Posted at 06:16:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well fuck, now I feel bad.
solwGer · 4 points · Posted at 06:24:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No reason to feel bad.
If no one points out my mistakes, I will continue to do them, and never prove.
You learn by making mistakes.
Shadow703793 · 0 points · Posted at 03:20:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/thatHappened
SolidCake · 0 points · Posted at 04:20:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I learned how to do that math in the 7th grade.. Seriously wtf
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:39:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It became obvious to me after I remember what I learned in middle school, but it wasn't clear to me that (a+b)² = a²+2ab+b² at first glance. I feel a little stupid, but whatever. I haven't used anything but statistics since 2007.
firehatchet · 0 points · Posted at 14:51:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For someone mocking her intelligence, you may want to learn how to spell stories.
solwGer · 1 points · Posted at 15:16:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lets see how you perform, writing a kinda long text at 3 AM, in a language you speak for 4 years.
Charlzy99 · -1 points · Posted at 11:55:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm only fourteen and I knew the answer to that.
Killzark · 2 points · Posted at 02:57:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is Defiance the one with Ross from Friends? If so, I also watched that in English class.
cider-drinker · 3 points · Posted at 13:48:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
With daniel craig.
Kowai03 · 2 points · Posted at 21:09:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're thinking of Band of Brothers. It's an amazing series.
Killzark · 1 points · Posted at 23:14:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, what I'm thinking of this TV movie with David Schwimmer and he's in the Jewish ghetto during WWII and he plots an uprising against the Nazis to escape. I'm pretty sure it's called Uprising actually.
Kowai03 · 2 points · Posted at 01:26:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my mistake sorry!
Killzark · 1 points · Posted at 01:29:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait, David Schwimmer is in Band of Brothers?
Kowai03 · 1 points · Posted at 03:20:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yup! Though its hard not to see Ross in uniform.
spitfire07 · 1 points · Posted at 06:40:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm guessing the "Is Jewish a country?" came from people using it as a ethnicity so she assumed that it must also be a country.
R3luctant · 2 points · Posted at 13:58:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jewland? Isle of Jews? Jewishstein?
puremanbird · 1 points · Posted at 08:20:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i really enjoyed that movie but my moms side of the family is bilsky. idk if its connected or not. probably/definately spelled different. i just know the bitch tried very hard to make us believe that is was our family involved.
megablast · 1 points · Posted at 10:42:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The concept of jews is strange, they didn't have a country until the UK gave them israel. Well, for a few 1000 years anyway.
daho0n · 1 points · Posted at 12:04:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes, it's officially called The United States of America.
ImperialMarketTroope · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sorry. No one should have to sit through that cruel and unusual punishment.
TheOnlyPanda · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was asked if Muslim was a country. This doesn't surprise me.
VisforVeronica_ · 1 points · Posted at 17:02:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I totally thought Jewish was a country as well. Public education is not the greatest.
TheFuckNameYouWant · 1 points · Posted at 22:32:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's an awesome movie to be forced to watch.
mikbob · 1 points · Posted at 01:05:41 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Relevant username
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:47:06 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow. I didn't think anyone was as dumb as my sister. But I think I just found her twin.
dsjunior1388 · 503 points · Posted at 00:06:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a roommate who was about 6 months late on rent. It's a 10 month lease and we're in month 8. They're threatening to sue us. . He got a tuition refund. $700. (2 months rent). He goes to play poker with it, despite our constant pleas not too.
DOUBLES UP. He shows us the $1,400, (because he's dumb like that.) This is Saturday night. Office is closed Sunday. I go to work Saturday night, and then work a long shift Sunday, feeling good. Monday after classes, he comes in. First question, "did you pay the rent?"
Bumbling stumbling excuses "I paid off some credit card balances and some other money I owed my parents." "So how much did you give the complex?" "None."
Blew my fucking lid, almost punched him right then and there. I will bet every penny to my name that he went back to the tables Sunday night and lost it all.
Somehow he came up with the money though...
[deleted] · 342 points · Posted at 00:58:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He came up with the money by owing his parent again.
dsjunior1388 · 133 points · Posted at 01:40:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably. He was from an odd family. His parents gave him a truck, but wouldn't let him take it to college. I begged him to sell that stupid truck no one was using and pay the rent but he said he wasn't allowed.
moongoddessshadow · 26 points · Posted at 16:17:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a friend who worked full time at a shitty retail job all summer to save up so she could buy a car. This was the summer after we graduated high school, and she worked her ass off so she could have a car to drive to and from college in the fall, and to whatever job she could get when she was there. She gave up tons of days and nights that the rest of us spent hanging out so she could work extra shifts and get enough money for a decent car.
I think in the end, she managed to save up about $4000, which is a small fortune to be sitting on at the age of 18. She went out and bought a sort of nice older Taurus and was pretty thrilled. Then, right before she left for college, her parents decided that she didn't need a car because her older sister never needed one when she was in college, and told her she wasn't allowed to take it. She had to leave behind that car she'd worked so hard for, and have her parents make the FOUR HOUR round trip every time she wanted to travel there and back. It also forced her to look for a job on-campus, which severely limited her employment options since it wasn't a big city and most things were not in walking distance.
But the kicker? Her mom used the car herself, and managed to not only fill the car with garbage and do absolutely no routine maintenance, but also somehow put 50,000 miles on that poor little sedan over the course of a year, never driving much beyond our small hometown. This happened five years ago and I still get mad about it.
Sorry for the only semi-related block of text. It just makes me really mad when people's parents have weird, arbitrary rules about things, especially when it's something big and important like a car.
dsjunior1388 · 13 points · Posted at 16:31:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn, that's a completely different level of bizzare, shitty parenting. If I'd have bough my own car and my parents tried to take it from me, I would have laughed and yelled "catch me if you can," as I drove away.
50,000 a year is a simply astonishing amount of miles for a single year. My uncle is a traveling salesman and drives from Michigan as far as Minnesota to the West and New York to the right, and he usually gets about 35,000 a year.
moongoddessshadow · 5 points · Posted at 17:00:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm still not sure how she got that many miles in over the course of a year. She never ever drove long distances. I think the furthest she ever had to go was about 30 miles away, but from what I understand, her regular driving mostly amounted to going between their farmhouse outside of town to the small stores in town, which couldn't have been more than 10 or 15 miles.
Unfortunately, this girl is pretty non-confrontational, and her parents (father especially) are really strict and no-nonsense. Arguing with them wouldn't have changed their minds, just gotten her in deeper shit. Icing on the cake is that, after they used and basically wrecked her car over the course of that year, they offered to give her their old-ish farm truck, which her brother had been driving, because he got his own truck and no one was driving the old one. She accepted because she really needed/wanted a vehicle, but then her brother wrecked it before they signed it over to her, so she went back to having no car and no options. They didn't even offer to float her some cash to get another car, or make her brother help her buy another. She finally got fed up about two years ago and bought herself a crappy old hatchback while she was in school, where they couldn't take it away without driving a couple hours waaaaay out of their way.
GinaBones · 5 points · Posted at 18:07:03 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sorry for such a late response(there was a link to this thread in another one). If she bought the car herself, and the title was solely in her name, then legally there is nothing the parents can do if she wants to take her car. It doesn't matter how strict her parents are; she is a legal adult, and that is her personal property and they have no say in the matter at all.
If that is not the case, and their name(s) were on the title as well, then that is another story.
Either way, I don't blame her for being upset.
Kardif · 3 points · Posted at 00:31:29 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
50,000 miles is 150 miles per day for the entire year. There's no way that she was only driving into town and back that's 5 times into town and back. I'd put my money on running drugs if I had to guess.
moongoddessshadow · 3 points · Posted at 00:57:42 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Conservative Catholic farmer's wives, always looking for something to spice up their lives! Makes perfect sense to me.
Uncombustible_Lemon · 9 points · Posted at 07:58:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of my friend who's parents bought him a gaming PC and some games for it, but then said he couldn't play it. Supposedly due to his father's obsession that PC gaming is unreliable. His dad's save files was corrupted at 95% completion.
President_of_Nauru · 12 points · Posted at 12:19:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of my parents. Decided to buy me computer games and a nice set of speakers one Christmas and a computer the next.
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 15:40:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My parents did that accidentally. They tried to pull the ol' "oh here's some playstation games. Oh you don't have a playstation? What's in that box over there...". Except my dad forgot to actually get the playstation.
Deranged_Cyborg · 2 points · Posted at 22:03:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
:(
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 04:14:51 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We got it the next week, though. After the boxing day sales died down.
Deranged_Cyborg · 5 points · Posted at 04:36:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
:D
LillaNissen · 5 points · Posted at 19:40:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of my friend whose parents bought him a Alienware gaming desktop for 4000$ and they did lot let him take it with him to Lan parties, not big lan parties, more like 4 people at max.
Also remembers when his computer got virus and his mom said
"Your computer can't get virus"
GrizzlyBCanada · 3 points · Posted at 10:03:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The ol' shit apple don't fall too far from the shit tree.
shadow1515 · 2 points · Posted at 17:31:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So it sounds like his parents bought themselves a truck that he was allowed to drive when he was at home.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 15:39:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had to kick out a friend for this. He'd spend all his money on coke and other useless shit then when he couldn't come up with his half of the rent he'd just spend the rest because he "was already fucked so may as well enjoy it".
Every time it happened I made him talk to the landlord so he knew I wasn't the one fucking up and every time the landlord would cut him a break. Well after 3 months in a row he called me and said "I know it's not your fault but unfortunately your half of the rent doesn't cover the whole place. I don't want to kick you out but I need the full rent from now on, however you want to get it to me". So I booted my friend out then he proceeded to bum around and sleep on other friend's couches until he burned every bridge he had by overstaying his company and I don't even know what he's doing now.
Every year he'll contact me somehow and try to get me to do B&E's with him.
Techfish72 · 3 points · Posted at 20:17:19 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
What are B&E's? I honestly don't know.
0342narmak · 4 points · Posted at 13:27:31 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Breaking and Entering. He wanted to rob places. Yeah.
kylemaoin · 7 points · Posted at 13:14:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry, but you might be the dumb one in this situation for allowing them to live there for free for half a year.
dsjunior1388 · 7 points · Posted at 13:24:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, we made our payments seperately despite the joint lease. He lied to us about making payments for about half the year, until the complex started to call us.
But you are right, we weren't on his ass enough and it got way out of hand. We were all in our first apartment, so there was a lot we weren't prepared for.
RiKSh4w · 2 points · Posted at 12:17:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why would they sue you? If they're not honouring the rent agreement aren't they in the wrong?
dsjunior1388 · 2 points · Posted at 12:24:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was a joint lease for a townhouse, they made it clear to us when we signed the lease that we were responsible for each other.
Ali_knows · 3 points · Posted at 09:01:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There is a difference between being dumb and having a gambling problem.
makdoll · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You must live with my brother.
BlakeBurna · 1 points · Posted at 12:07:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
stories like this remind me why I prefer to not have roommates. Sure I pay a little more for the privilege, but its a worthy tradeoff.
Ulimm_ · 431 points · Posted at 03:42:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a classmate in 8th grade who legitimately thought that the ocean had no bottom. Our teacher showed a diagram of the deepness of the ocean, and she just couldn't grasp it. I don't know how you get all the way to 8th grade without learning that the ocean doesn't just drop off into nothing...
nerak33 · 96 points · Posted at 14:24:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's almost endearing. This is seeing the world with the wonder of a small child. I wished I could turn "dumb wonder" mode on and off.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 19:11:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Imagine being able to the rush of discovery any time you wanted.
mortiphago · 6 points · Posted at 18:57:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
you can. the button is called "drugs".
fucking_passwords · 5 points · Posted at 22:15:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
cannabis indica will do nicely
clyde_89 · 15 points · Posted at 12:11:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
in Asgard it did!
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:34:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don’t forget Naboo!
TheLastFruit · 11 points · Posted at 15:14:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be pretty damn cool. Imagine, continents are just big pieces of land floating on water and instead of the ocean ending the mass of earth was made up by water. Like a big raindrop with pieces of continent floating on the surface.
ShadowSpiked · 17 points · Posted at 14:13:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, technically the depths of the ocean has never been fully explored. There's a outside chance that there's a disturbance in the space-time continuum down there.
IAmAMagicLion · 0 points · Posted at 20:17:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. We have satellite radar that can see right to the bottom.
ShadowSpiked · 1 points · Posted at 05:33:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In shallower waters, maybe. Not the deepest parts of the Ocean. Challenger Deep is generally regarded as the deepest DISCOVERED part of the ocean.
shieldvexor · 1 points · Posted at 00:42:58 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cant satellite radar see down there?
CousinYuri89 · 5 points · Posted at 15:42:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When i was in elementery school for a while i thought islands just dropped straight off into the ocean and had no incline like a beach. Dont know why just did.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 16:35:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cartoons and Comics.
smuffleupagus · 5 points · Posted at 22:37:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once met a ninth grader who didn't know the world was round, at this point I'll believe anything.
draw_it_now · 3 points · Posted at 16:02:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's taking me more brain power to wrap my head around the concept of a bottomless ocean than it is to just accept it's really friggin' deep...
kjata · 5 points · Posted at 22:28:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On a spherical planet, yeah. But abandon entirely your usual notions of the universe and come with me to a place where a trip can be longer from A to B than the other way around, you too can comprehend the fathomless deep.
But try not to, because that's getting dangerously close to Lovecraft territory.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:03:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay when I was a kid I didn't think some parts of the ocean had bottoms. Because the earth was rond, i thought the water just... went all the way to the other side. Zero gravity makes earth round, right? So if figured we were a big glob of water with land balanced and anchored in it.
Virgils912 · 5 points · Posted at 17:25:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Alternatively, I knew a girl in 11th grade who, upon watching my art teacher begin coloring the sky blue starting at the horizon of a landscape, said, "Wait, why aren't you starting up at the top? The sky should be up at the top, and the ground should be at the bottom..."
bamboohobobundles · 5 points · Posted at 23:21:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait so like... she thought the Earth was a ball of water with gigantic continent-islands floating on the surface? And if you swam deep enough, you would come out on the other side of the world?
O_O
mrskipperoo · 3 points · Posted at 16:50:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some people haven't learned it yet. Kinda like How I know a guy that didn't understand the "why was 6 afraid of 7?" joke. he's 32.
ELthumbz · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She was probably one of those Flat-earthers.
that_guy_next_to_you · 1 points · Posted at 16:48:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
but...back when I played WoW it did
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:01:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe he's just played too many video games where water = death.
Ladnil · 1 points · Posted at 16:46:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Its that damn star wars ep 1. Water through "Da planet cooorrrrreeeeeee"
ohjohn3 · 1 points · Posted at 00:56:36 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gas planets like neptune have liquid metalizied hydrogen cores which technically can be oceans with no bottom.
TaylorS1986 · 1 points · Posted at 23:28:51 on August 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought that, too, when I was 7!
masterwes0 · 3662 points · Posted at 00:49:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from high school physics, "If the speed of light is 3*108 m/s, what is the speed of dark?" and later that year, "If China is 12 hours ahead of us, why didn't they warn us about 9/11?" I can't make this stuff up
Nowin · 572 points · Posted at 05:13:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So... the speed of dark is the speed of light, right? Darkness is the absence of light, so anything getting dark gets dark at the speed that the light leaves it.
Jon76 · 600 points · Posted at 06:20:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Correct. Honestly though, I would consider that a legitimate question.
guydawg · 55 points · Posted at 11:55:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
very typical reddit.. top answer in a "who's the dumbest person you've ever met?" thread is about some 15 year old asking a cheeky question in math class. not even making a stupid statement or implying she was correct, BUT JUST ASKING A QUESTION!!!!
arhgarhgayregrugaeurgrajrhgejrhegr
Sir_Fancy_Pants · 8 points · Posted at 13:34:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or you could interpret it as what is the speed of the Schwarzschild radius expansion of a black hole which is kind of a "speed of dark"
interestingly enough the answer is the same since gravity travels at the same speed as light c
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 16:00:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's because it is
Captian_Cocksmith · 4 points · Posted at 14:54:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually thought that back when I was around 10 or so.
benbobfoshore · 7 points · Posted at 17:16:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Agreed! But the china thing.
octopuswolf · 2 points · Posted at 16:47:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"What is the speed of dark" is a fortune I got once in a fortune cookie. I didn't study for that shit
BBanner · 2 points · Posted at 11:23:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But dark is always there, it doesn't move, you just can't see it all the time.
PhylisInTheHood · 4 points · Posted at 13:09:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
dude, now I feel like IM in kingdom hearts or something
BBanner · 3 points · Posted at 13:16:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dammit now I feel like I'm twelve and trying to be deep.
mrskipperoo · 1 points · Posted at 16:52:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/askscience
scarfox1 · 1 points · Posted at 16:57:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah but the China one confirms she wasn't asking from the correct standpoint
Haiku_Description · 0 points · Posted at 16:13:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Unless you're in a philosophy class.
KrabbHD · 0 points · Posted at 16:58:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In preschool, yes.
rasmus9311 · 49 points · Posted at 11:27:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah its the speed of shadow, some shadows require more render time than others.
Lardzor · 6 points · Posted at 14:50:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shadow mapping is complicated stuff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_mapping
Samokoske · 1 points · Posted at 16:43:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Get a better GPU
valgrid · 0 points · Posted at 17:29:30 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Even with a better GPU his comment is still valid.
RedSpikeyThing · 1 points · Posted at 21:12:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Obviously, some are bigger than others.
PetrolHeadF · 3 points · Posted at 12:36:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"The only thing faster than light is darkness. No matter how fast light goes, darkness is still ahead of the light..waiting for it."
savish · 3 points · Posted at 17:39:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I challenge that. The speed of a standing wall is not the same as the speed of the truck that eventually hits it. As far as physics knows, the darkness was there first and we can make no assumptions as to how fast it got there (by the previous analogy, how fast the wall got there - i.e, was built or dropped or whatever).
When light travels it replaces existing darkness. The removal of a light source does not result in darkness propagating at all - it just results in light no longer propagating.
Picture a point source of light shining a beam through the darkness. The light from this source will propagate at 'c' to the observer's eye. The speed of light can be determined by measuring the delay between the source being switched on and the light from said source being received - and, obviously, the distance between the two. However, the lack of a source of darkness prevents the same calculation from being done. Later, when the light source is turned off, the same delay will occur before the observer perceives the lack of light. But it is not light leaving the observer's eyes, rather it is no light arriving at the observer's eyes. The darkness does not come to where the observer is, light just stops going there and darkness remains.
TL;DR Darkness has no source and therefore the relative measurements necessary to compute it's speed are invalid, I think.
But the China thing ...
Arkail · 2 points · Posted at 08:16:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Darkness forms, at least that's what my mother's explanation was when I asked the same question
bmattix · 2 points · Posted at 19:17:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone's about to rack up some karma in r/shittyaskscience
Subtle_B · 2 points · Posted at 23:19:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL: The Speed of Dark. golf clap
Misteripod · 2 points · Posted at 22:33:03 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Technically dark doesn't have a speed, if you were to consider the large scale of the expanding universe, the darkness is expanding at exponential rates. The speed of Light is traveling at the same speed the entire time, but as that light is traveling away from its object, the object also moves in another direction. What's left behind once the light leaves it's object, and the object has now moved, is darkness. Considering the speed of light one direction and the speed of the object in the other the darkness is being "produced" at a "speed" that much faster than light, in essence instantaneously after the light is gone. But in reality the "darkness" is always there, it's just the objects we see in the way that prevent us from knowing the darkness is there.
I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
Nowin · 1 points · Posted at 00:21:20 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
That would be relative speed based on perspective. A car travelling at 30 mph away from a different car traveling at 50 mph is not going 80 mph; it's going 30 mph.
Also... that thread was like 5 months ago. How did you even end up there?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:59:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
quit trying to smart up this thread with your "logic" and "reasoning"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:34:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Unless it's coated in radium
cdrchandler · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's actually a book called The Speed of Dark that's really good (it's a fictional story, and many of the characters have autism). The question of what the speed of Dark is comes up several times, and one of the characters notes that Dark must be faster than Light because Dark is always there first and always there after. Light is fleeting. Dark is forever. Dark isn't the absence of Light; Light is the absence of Dark.
SoulProxy · 1 points · Posted at 15:40:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In a completely non reflective, non emissive environment - yes.
Lanko · 0 points · Posted at 18:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh yeah? well if that's the case, why is it that when you turn on a light, it takes a split second to appear, but when you turn the light off it's instantaneous? :P
Xauberer · 0 points · Posted at 13:43:44 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually darkness has not got any speed, as it would imply that it is some kind of particle that can move. Its just the absence of light as you say.
HerpDerpMapleSerp · 0 points · Posted at 02:46:38 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
There is no speed of dark because dark is not a real thing, simply the absence of it. The speed of dark wouldn't even be the speed of light because light always goes that exact speed in a vacuum, and darkness can be completely unchanging because of the absence of light.
Mordisquitos · -1 points · Posted at 13:18:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wrong. Dark is significantly faster than light: however fast light gets somewhere, the dark has already been there for ages.
TOM_BOMBADICK · 3788 points · Posted at 01:58:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Usain Bolt has a record of 9.58 seconds on the 100m
Strumm3r · 861 points · Posted at 02:23:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not to mention 19.19 in the 200m
Ayyafuckin · 626 points · Posted at 02:39:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
which imo is even more impressive than his 9.58
[deleted] · 501 points · Posted at 03:01:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn, darkness is fast
[deleted] · 331 points · Posted at 08:07:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
CHARLIE MURPHY!
SSpacemanSSpiff · 10 points · Posted at 12:02:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Darkness spreads. What did five fingers say to the face?
Rico_Rizzo · 7 points · Posted at 12:24:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They shoulda never given you n*ggaz money!
SSpacemanSSpiff · 5 points · Posted at 14:07:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This will never get old.
numberjonnyfive · 3 points · Posted at 14:48:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cold blooded!
cewh · 3 points · Posted at 07:56:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
HEY EVERYBODY, DARKNESS IS SPREADING!
Aretsu33 · 2 points · Posted at 10:39:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's why you run to the bed when you turn off the lights...
Tom38 · -1 points · Posted at 19:38:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nigga still be running from trees and whips.
kumardi · 173 points · Posted at 03:00:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I respect your opinion but, if I may, I'd like to point out something, from a former state level sprinter
look at the progression of the 200m WR vs. the 100m WR
100 - Bolt first broke the record in 2008, beating Asafa Powell's 9.74 with a new record of 9.72, since then he has broken the record a further 2 times with 9.69 and 9.58
200 - Bolt broke the record in 2008, beating Michael Johnson's 19.32 with a new record of 19.30, he then went on to break the record again with a time of 19.19
I know I dragged on a bit, but the point I'm trying to is that a 0.16 improvement over 100m is far more impressive than a 0.13 improvement over double the distance
Ayyafuckin · 80 points · Posted at 03:08:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Something to note is that Michael Johnson broke the the WR by .06 at the Olympic trials and then took another 1/3rd of a second off in his gold medal run. His 19.32 was .4 faster than the former WR holder and people were pretty shocked that 200m was now being covered in 19.3. I agree with you that .16 is more impressive than .13, but, I think the 9.58 will be broken before, maybe even long before the 19.19 is ever challenged.
kumardi · 51 points · Posted at 03:53:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a great point, but I'd have to disagree with the last part because of Yohan Blake
at 24 years old, he is the 2nd fastest man in history with a 9.69 PB in the 100m - however, his 200m PB is 19.26, making him the second fastest in the event
given that male sprinters tend to peak in mid to late 20's, it's not a stretch to say that Yohan Blake could be the man to take that record away from bolt
Ayyafuckin · 7 points · Posted at 04:42:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
WOW! wasnt aware Blake had progressed so much in the 200m touche
qwertyslayer · 1 points · Posted at 05:17:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is saying PB instead of PR a regional thing? I'm in the southern US.
kumardi · 7 points · Posted at 05:52:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
from Australia, I've always heard it as PB - potato/tomato
give_me_a_number · 3 points · Posted at 10:15:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha, I was at an international meet once and I heard Aussies and Kiwis throwing around "PB"s all the time. It just made me really hungry for peanut butter sandwiches
jo_blow421 · 2 points · Posted at 05:44:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm from Indiana, I've always used PR.
sesa2811 · 1 points · Posted at 09:34:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
California, I've always used PR
minimus_ · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
British, too.
RicksRevolver24 · -2 points · Posted at 12:17:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is why white people watch the Olympics and black people run in them.
Spiral_flash_attack · 2 points · Posted at 12:33:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
None of those current sprinting records are going to last more than another 5 years. Our understanding of training, technique, nutrition, etc. is coming along too fast. When Usain was born we didn't know anything. He's only had the benefits of modern sports science for a few years. Imagine what kind of monsters we will have that were plucked out at age 8 or 9 as gifted and trained and coached using cutting edge methods. I believe that in the next 10 years we will see a 9.3 100m. This is discounting any changes that would allow for performance enchancing drugs or machinery.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 06:49:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Michael Johnson, a fellow Baylor man. Sic 'Em. Much respect.
RAY_K_47 · 2 points · Posted at 10:33:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
spoiler alert
ShadyKage · 2 points · Posted at 12:35:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stop being smart. We all came here to read about dumb people and feel better about ourselves.
Randy_Moss_84 · 1 points · Posted at 05:32:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Before Bolt came along, the 19.32 was way more impressive than the 9.74. The 200 M dash was the most impressive record in track and field because the second best time was 19.68. Michael Johnson's 200 in Atlanta was impossibly fast. It literally did not make sense to shatter a world record by that much.
kumardi · 1 points · Posted at 05:51:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not taking away from the fact that Michael Johnson's time was outstanding, simply stating that Bolt's 100m record is more impressive than his 200m record
and yes, Johnson brought the record down 0.4sec in total, but lets take Bolt's improvement of 0.16 over 100m and multiply by 2, you're getting 0.32 improvement and thats without the flying start and the whip of the bend in the latter half of the 200m race - it doesn't make any sense that he could have lowered the 100m record by so much
CanadianJogger · 0 points · Posted at 12:14:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, cause you slow down. People are pretty quick about getting up to speed, but maintaining it is hard. Every little error in a foot fall costs you some time.
kumardi · 3 points · Posted at 14:59:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
look at this link - even though his 3rd and 4th quarters are slower than the 2nd, the flying start you get at the beginning of the latter 100m voids your argument - his second 100m is run in 9.27 seconds
in any case, a 0.16 improvement over 100m is more impressive than a 0.13 improvement over 200m, purely based on the numbers
CanadianJogger · 1 points · Posted at 16:16:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is interesting, thanks! I stand corrected!
TheCrimsonHyena · 2 points · Posted at 12:03:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that is two 9.595 100m sprints. Ridiculous
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:01:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because it's twice as long and he maintained the same pace?
Illgatto · 1 points · Posted at 12:54:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On account of it being more impressive
Whanhee · 1 points · Posted at 23:13:08 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can just look at the flat average, but you're missing out on the acceleration needed to get to that speed. From that point of view, the 100m is pretty crazy because he's getting to basically the speed of the 200m in almost no time at all.
bendavis575 · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:39 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
200 times are usually less than twice than 100 times because you don't have to accelerate from zero.
yabuoy · 1 points · Posted at 07:26:34 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
why do you say that?
ShatPants · 0 points · Posted at 05:40:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
.0019 in the 200nm.
ilikalickalollipop92 · 0 points · Posted at 05:55:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Even more so 9/11 = .8181818181818182
Sleeper_1972 · 0 points · Posted at 17:33:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
nah, he can brag when he can run the 200m faster than the 100m but until then I don't wanna know.
puremanbird · 1 points · Posted at 08:13:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
holy fuck. his split for the 200m is 9.595. thats incredible, hes able to perfectly keep the pace from the world record 100m for the 200m.
ErsatzCats · 1 points · Posted at 17:07:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Woah, both of those give dark a speed of rougly 10.43 m/s. I guess it would make sense that the speed of dark is consistent, just like the speed of light. Physics!
palerthanrice · 1 points · Posted at 02:38:12 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's crazy how he can keep almost an identical pace as he does in the 100m.
what-a-doric · 5 points · Posted at 03:03:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck why can't I think of anything this witty
iam1mc · 2 points · Posted at 12:36:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a Jamaican I support this comment
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 02:04:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone get this motherfucker gold!
TOM_BOMBADICK · 78 points · Posted at 02:08:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He already won gold.
[deleted] · 31 points · Posted at 03:03:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So you can say that Usain Bolt with his gold medal is pratically:
Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow
I'm so sorry
JewishMotherSyndrome · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
slow clap
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 04:06:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
clapping intensifies
propermoist · 1 points · Posted at 08:19:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I remember me and my black friend used to walk around playing that song (I'm Asian). We were the shit.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:12:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone get this motherfucker gold!
jamesno26 · 1 points · Posted at 03:55:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He won silver.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:11:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hold up, why is merry doll derry doll a dick?
joshkg · -1 points · Posted at 02:10:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah but he didn't win Reddit Gold. Obviously the more important of the gold family.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:09:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
myles_cassidy · 1 points · Posted at 03:34:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The give gold button is right there for you...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:36:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm just a jury sir, I say what I deem right and leave it up to other good men to do the deed.
Tom_Bombadilll · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow, such a magnificent dick
TerminalReddit · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
heh.
TheOnlyPanda · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No no no that's advanced darkness.
Haiku_Description · 1 points · Posted at 16:14:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks. My answer for kids who ask this is now going to be "100 meters in 9.58 seconds"
The_sad_zebra · 1 points · Posted at 20:12:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So approximately 20.8768267223 meters per second. Seriously, how did she not know that?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:42:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
NO!!! That... is racist!
But really funny.
Coconuteer · 1 points · Posted at 21:51:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So you are saying that light is technically better than dark??? Racist!
Soulrush · 1 points · Posted at 00:25:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Everyone was thinking it.
angsty15yearold · 1 points · Posted at 23:57:37 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's like 25mph, and he wasn't sprinting for the last part. He can run faster than some speed limits.
narangutang · 1 points · Posted at 13:56:35 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is the most I've laughed in a few weeks, I've been really depressed and tired, thank you sir! If my gold credits order worked from buygold.io, I would've gilded you but I can't. Sorry, ily.
molsonman78 · 1 points · Posted at 04:29:10 on September 15, 2014 · (Permalink)
the light switch, or a paper, plastic bag in your case
DFOHPNGTFBS · 0 points · Posted at 06:01:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's faster than Earth's gravitational acceleration.
BroDudemars · 0 points · Posted at 12:31:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Racism is fast
[deleted] · 284 points · Posted at 01:04:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You win. Most of the rest are posting about people who are ignorant, but this girl knew stuff and was still stupid.
Acetobacter · 4 points · Posted at 12:30:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They sound like lame jokes to me.
Ultimate_Cabooser · 2 points · Posted at 14:00:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If shit you say sound like bad jokes when you're serious, then you have a mental disability. That girl needs help.
Acetobacter · 3 points · Posted at 14:50:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Either that or her delivery is bone dry. I've made jokes and had people think I'm serious for that reason.
mrhej · 113 points · Posted at 01:34:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
China is from the future apparently.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 03:06:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For maybe we're from the past
spooky background music plays
Nacho_Cheesus_Christ · 3 points · Posted at 18:18:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What a tweeest!
SirBurpAlot · 3 points · Posted at 13:15:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Knew it! This explains those damn fortune cookies!
BigFatBaldLoser · 1 points · Posted at 12:11:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
12 hour future.
Pit-trout · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:11 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Of course, but they can’t warn us about things in time because data only travels at the speed of light. Actually the 1’s travel at the speed of light and the 0’s travel at the speed of dark, but it’s close enough that they can’t tell us about things before they happen here anyway.
vonFitz · 194 points · Posted at 01:40:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was just high as fuck
chris69824 · 4 points · Posted at 11:23:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought the same thing.
simplycontent · 3 points · Posted at 13:19:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can confirm. I would say something like this when I'm stoned and am not an rtard.
borick · 2 points · Posted at 12:30:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or trolling. I found this high-liarious.
musiccolorthoughts · 2 points · Posted at 23:24:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol I asked something stupid like that last night at a [7] and knew it was stupid and yet kept waiting for an answer. I'm smart except when I ish dumbs.
[deleted] · 98 points · Posted at 02:03:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What type of dumb person knows what the fuck 3*10 8/10 m/s is, seriously.
[deleted] · 106 points · Posted at 03:09:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's the logic dumb, and the knowledge dumb.
spiffyclip · 8 points · Posted at 05:48:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
8th grade math?
mementomori4 · 28 points · Posted at 02:27:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I read a book called The Speed of Dark once... it was thinking about that question. It's a ridiculously stupid science question, but an interesting philosophical/literary one. (Obviously this girl was on the dumbass side of things.)
ShaqMan · 2 points · Posted at 09:23:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
From a philosophical perspective, it could definitely be argued that darkness, the lack of light itself, is faster than light, simply because existence is active, whereas lack of existence is passive. Something has to exist for there to be evidence of it existing, meaning that darkness itself can only be observed if it exists. And if a lack of light can exist, nothingness isn't an impossibility, is it?
FallenMatt · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No banana is faster than banana. I can prove this as there is no banana in my hand at the same time there is no banana in my other hand. We know that you can't have one thing in two different places ( except if it is very large) and I have the same no banana in both hands. So how do we solve this riddle?
Easy. Because the no banana is actually traveling between my two hands very quickly. The reason we can't see the no banana is because it's traveling so fast that light can't catch up to it. No banana is actually the fastest thing in the universe. It exists everywhere (except where there is banana) and some very clever scientists hypothesise that we could use this principle to send messages faster than light b by modulating the frequency of no banana. They can't test their theory however because planet earth contains trace amounts of banana and this would affect the results.
common_redditor · 6 points · Posted at 02:09:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is kind of interesting. How would you explain that China is not in the future in terms she would understand?
I'm not sure I could do it. Maybe with a desk lamp representing the sun and a baseball....
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 02:44:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This Sunlight Map could help.
common_redditor · 2 points · Posted at 03:40:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not bad, but I still think a round object would be clearer. I figured it out. I'd put a dot on one side of the ball indicating 'her' and a dot on the opposite indicating 'Jackie Chan'. Shine the light, showing that for her it's noon and for Jackie, midnight.
Ok too much thought into this. We shouldn't shame dumb statements. Just mean ones.
CloudsCanSing · 1 points · Posted at 07:45:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just tell her she has to be sent away and send her away on a raft with a volleyball.
jonnyrotten7 · 5 points · Posted at 03:44:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure she was fucking with you. Which makes you the dumb one.
nrq · 1 points · Posted at 11:03:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seconded. This sounds like the kind of dumb stuff I'd say for some cheap laughs. I wouldn't take that seriously.
ashmole · 5 points · Posted at 10:49:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That kid has a point. WHAT THE FUCK, CHINA?
Darkcheops · 4 points · Posted at 12:06:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was trying to be funny?
CruzaComplex · 58 points · Posted at 02:40:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Had a girl in high school science that thought "oral contraceptives" meant that if she swallowed she wouldn't get pregnant when she had vaginal sex. The best part about it was that when she said it she was 100% certain this was true. Our science teacher went to correct her, but her boyfriend at the time sat right behind her in that class. He gave a sort of hand wave "Don't fuck this up for me" gesture and the teacher just kind of shook his head and said "Yeahlp, yep, that's how it works."
She also thought that thought that there was once life on Venus but their "bubble popped" and everyone died. We asked her what she meant by "bubble" and she told us that it was "Like the one the Earth has that keeps all the air in. You know, like a soap bubble that goes all the way around the Earth and if a meteor or something hits it it will pop too."
Well...she was half right. We do have an atmosphere, and it is similar to Venus', and if a large enough space object hits it, we're fucked, but not because we run out of oxygen, and our atmosphere won't "pop".
[deleted] · 462 points · Posted at 05:21:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So you're telling me a highschool teacher let a teenage girl believe false information that might actually end up with her getting pregnant or infected with STD's. Just so a teenage boy can keep his unprotected sex jollies? I find that really hard to believe. Actually I'm hoping it's not true because that's seriously fucked up.
ciestaconquistador · 26 points · Posted at 06:17:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Right? That's incredibly irresponsible of the teacher.
Szygani · 13 points · Posted at 08:14:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, she took contraceptives, and she swallowed the spunk so she wouldn't get pregnant,
mleftpeel · 6 points · Posted at 16:48:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
Bartimeaus · 10 points · Posted at 08:26:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to re-read it, but what I think he's saying is that she didn't think she would get pregnant if she swallowed during head
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 13:20:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, it states "vaginal sex"
fathak · 3 points · Posted at 21:12:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
no way someone would just get on the interwebs and start typing in lies! who would do that!?
benbobfoshore · 5 points · Posted at 17:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sure it totally happened. The girl got AIDS and the teacher killed himself over it.
nightcloudd · 1 points · Posted at 06:17:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He probably couldn't be fucked trying to explain something to such a dumbass.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:45:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is fucked up but that doesn't make it hard for me to believe.
yowhatupmayne · 1 points · Posted at 15:55:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty cool
[deleted] · -13 points · Posted at 07:45:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's fucked up, but don't forget the old golden rule: Don't argue with stupid.
The teacher just didn't to waste time on such a stupid person.
[deleted] · 17 points · Posted at 13:02:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
It's
pretty mucha teacher's job to "waste time" on a stupid person. It's called teaching.[deleted] · -10 points · Posted at 13:30:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yea, the teacher said the right thing, then the kid argued for nothing. There is no point arguing with that girl because she believes so much that she is right that it will take a long time to change her opinion. It's like saying to creationism that god didn't create life; waste of time to try to prove facts.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 15:06:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At what point did the teacher "say the right thing"? From the story, the conversation goes something like:
Girl: "Swallowing means I can't get pregnant, right"?
Boy: makes affirmative motions to teacher
Teacher: "Uh, yeah, totally."
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 18:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The way I understood it, it starts by the science teacher explaining how the different contraception methods work and then there was this really dumb question because the girl wasn't paying attentino or she was too stupid to understand what the teacher said. So from what I understood he DID explain how the contraception method works.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 22:22:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He should explain again then because if she she was asking a question about it she deserves an honest answer. But either way it doesn't matter because I don't really believe this happened.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 22:42:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope it never happened.
The-Mathematician · 64 points · Posted at 04:31:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow. That first story is really fucked up.
thebarkingdog · 3 points · Posted at 17:28:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
xthkl · -9 points · Posted at 05:19:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That science teacher is a total bro
untipoquenojuega · 2 points · Posted at 03:26:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly that sounds great. The world must be so grand and exciting to her.
Jettrode · 2 points · Posted at 03:43:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in high school chemistry we were discussing chemical reactions or some such and in the middle of the teacher's lecture a kid screams from the back row, "Is that why when you add milk to Rice Krispies they go snap, crackle, and pop?"
thebellrang · 2 points · Posted at 04:20:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What were the reactions to those comments?
Fender45 · 2 points · Posted at 05:27:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That would be cool if we could have a dark light, but that might destroy the solar system cause it would be a black hole
jamesbiff · 2 points · Posted at 10:15:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
brickmack · 2 points · Posted at 10:29:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That doesn't sound like dumb, just dumb jokes. I've heard a lot of those in classes over the years
ywecur · 2 points · Posted at 10:31:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's the speed of dark isn't actually that stupid of a question if you rephrase it: How long does it take for light to become absorbed?
There is no general answer though as it depends on the environment. I read that they successfully made light survive quite long in a box with very shiny mirrors!
I'll see myself out now...
cronos844 · 2 points · Posted at 10:39:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The speed of dark sort of makes sense if you don't realize that dark is the normal state of things.
DoktorKrokodil · 2 points · Posted at 11:31:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oooh!! I knew a girl like that too in my high school history class! "Which was the first world war?" along with "Who fought in world war 2?" and "Where is the English channel?"
But my favorite was when she asked me: "Which of your double chins do you shave first?" ... I'm a slender guy with a cleft chin.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:53:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from my science class asked as follows; "has anyone landed on the sun?"
I just... Don't know.
Socky_McPuppet · 2 points · Posted at 12:11:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's not dumb, she's practicing her stand-up.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:26:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/shittyaskscience
Spiral_flash_attack · 2 points · Posted at 12:30:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not as bad, but our professor was explaining escape velocity to us in high school and someone asked "does that mean I'm moving at 11,000 m/s when I jump?"
denuu · 2 points · Posted at 12:40:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my physics class, in respnse to a position vs time oscillation graph, asked the professor "Does time oscillate?"
...this was second year university.
Cunctatious · 2 points · Posted at 12:48:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend asked me what the 'speed of sight' was once.
TheJaggedSpoon · 2 points · Posted at 12:49:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How did that inbred make it into a physics classroom?
RicsFlair · 2 points · Posted at 13:00:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sure you can't.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:00:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I saw the same exact question about the speed of light on /r/shittyaskscience .
SMEGMA_CHEESE · 2 points · Posted at 13:06:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dumb, or a master troll.
DrDoozie · 2 points · Posted at 13:10:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If we know the speed of light, then what's the speed of heavy?
Sir_Fancy_Pants · 2 points · Posted at 13:29:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
had a middle age man who was a banker seriously ask me if you followed the daylight line of the sun on earth in something like a fighter plane "does time freeze? "
Onceinasilverymoon · 2 points · Posted at 13:30:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The first question isn't so stupid as no one truly understands pure blackness since we have never seen it. Black holes and all that.
Sir_Fancy_Pants · 2 points · Posted at 13:38:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
if you were dumb enough to think that how does she think US investors ever lose on the stock market?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd say that she thinks outside the box, and isn't deterred by what the majority of society considers a 'stupid' question. The most intelligent people on earth often have the most profound learning gaps in certain subjects.
jerrytheman1998 · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"What is the speed of dark?"
That is actually a pretty good question, it just doesn't make sense because of the basic principles of life. The real question would be, how fast does it take for light to become absent? or just what is the speed of light leaving a specific area? Because darkness is just lack of light.
Good question though! Don't be mean to people who are just curious!
That second question though? Yeah that bitch was dumb.
sebita101 · 2 points · Posted at 14:19:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dropped a couple of IQ points while reading this.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:25:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The concept of what light is can be weird, that's a valid question.
You sure she was serious and not just joking?
fosterwallacejr · 2 points · Posted at 14:44:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
while the second question is ridiculous, the first one is like a douglas adams joke i love it
Lardzor · 2 points · Posted at 14:47:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Darkness chases the light at the same speed.
ksanthra · 2 points · Posted at 15:02:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was the first one a smart comment and the second one a joke?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:25:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nothing more frustrating that trying to explain time and time zones to someone who doesn't understand it. Because it does sound a little crazy at first.
PoopMachin3 · 2 points · Posted at 18:04:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
buncha gooks
Lard_Baron · 2 points · Posted at 18:13:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not that dumb. Where ever light travels to dark has always got there first.
Lanko · 2 points · Posted at 18:32:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Umm, both of these were common facetious questions kids would ask in my school. I'm not convinced any of them were ever serious.
Hell I used to ask "Dumb" questions in physics class like this all the time because I was bored and it was funny to watch the teacher react.
"When an object in motion bounces off a surface there is a point in the bounce where the object is "stopped" If that's the case then the speed of light is NOT constant because it stops when it bounces off a mirror."
crookedparadigm · 2 points · Posted at 18:35:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What is the speed of dark? That's some Jaden Smith level shit right there.
DammitDan · 2 points · Posted at 19:16:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If she was serious, she's a moron. But if she said them for the sake of humor, they're actually quite clever, at least for a high school student.
hihelloneighboroonie · 2 points · Posted at 19:19:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That first one is on the back of Hooters wet naps.
mysticsavage · 2 points · Posted at 20:33:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She thinks Steven Wright jokes are real? That's a special kind of stupid.
Mrmrlol · 2 points · Posted at 20:40:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because they speak Chinese, so we couldn't understand them when they tried.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:55:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was that girl Jaden Smith?
xNotMyRealNameX · 2 points · Posted at 21:29:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
bull fucking shit! nobody can be this retarded
Coconuteer · 2 points · Posted at 21:50:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, technically the speed of light is infinate, it's just that the "limits" of the universe applies to everything, even things infinate. The same applies for other things IE: gravity anf also darkness. The "speed" at which the phenomenon of darkness travels is equal to that of the speed of light, infinate. Yet in our universe it falls under the same limitations...
claustrophobicdragon · 2 points · Posted at 22:02:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
See? It WAS a conspiracy! It just wasn't the military industrial complex reptilian banker Jews at the CIA, it was the Chinese! /s
red_duke · 2 points · Posted at 23:25:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my roomate asked me what the speed of dark was last night. im proud of how i handled the situation and the fact that my face did not distort in horror or anything.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:18:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl in high school who asked me if Anne Frank was still alive.
dbbo · 2 points · Posted at 00:20:31 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually lot of people don't seem to understand that things like "darkness" and "coldness" aren't phenomena in their own right.
I have tried and tried to explain to my (science-hating accountant) SO that there is only heat, that coldness is simply a perception of a lack of heat, and that heat tends to move in a gradient from objects with higher heat toward objects with lower heat.
But she still won't put on socks when her feet are cold "because it will trap the cold in".
I suppose exceptionally tight socks might diminish the circulation to your feet and make them feel colder, but I'm positive that isn't what she is talking about.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:02 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
dbbo · 1 points · Posted at 00:44:53 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We've had a lot of other arguments about heat though.
She thinks a metal fork at room temperature has less heat/more coldness than a plastic one at the same temperature because it feels colder.
And she thinks when you turn on a fan, it actually cools the air because it feels colder.
MRX009 · 2 points · Posted at 04:15:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know what pisses me off? If she's hot she might marry into a rich family and have all the money in the world while an Indian PhD is driving a cab somewhere in New York because his doctorate isn't recognized in NA.
DethNik · 2 points · Posted at 00:18:49 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Relevant video: http://youtu.be/JTvcpdfGUtQ
masterwes0 · 2 points · Posted at 10:47:19 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes revenant indeed. He points out things that other replies have mentioned with a good general level explanations. Thanks for the link
DethNik · 2 points · Posted at 14:44:42 on August 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
No problem. If you haven't already, check out the other videos he's got. Quite informative and entertaining.
WillWorkForSugar · 5 points · Posted at 01:34:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They didn't warn us because the U.S. government set it all up.
Hugh_Jampton · 1 points · Posted at 09:49:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
r/forwardsfromgrandma/
Liquidies · 2 points · Posted at 02:03:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
20 years later-discovers antimatter
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 06:06:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of the Drew Carey episode when he gets drugged and shipped to China. He calls home to the states and one of his buddy's, "says wait it's Sunday there? What's the score to the big game?" Then Drew responded, "I'm in China not the future you idiots!"
steakgames · 1 points · Posted at 06:21:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
no you explain to me why didn't China fuckin warn us??!?!?!
SOMEONE TELL ME
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:51:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's gotta be a schtick. ; )
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:08:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be honest, I have heard about the speed of dark before
EgaoNoGenki-XX · 1 points · Posted at 07:27:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank you SO, SO-O-O-O-O much for helping me contribute to that OTHER AskReddit sub!
What is that girl up to now? What's her current job? What does she do with her life?
InfernalBacon · 1 points · Posted at 07:55:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"If China is 12 hours ahead of us, why didn't they warn us about 9/11?"
I...I....I think i'm having a fucking stroke.That is the dumbest thing i've ever seen.Jesus Christ...
ButtsexEurope · 1 points · Posted at 08:29:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The first question isn't a dumb question..
DieStrassenkinder · 1 points · Posted at 08:36:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really can't believe that someone was this stupid. I'm just going to say that she was fishing for attention.
samuraiseoul · 1 points · Posted at 08:38:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Speed of dark would make a good intro to a VSauce episode I think.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:07:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I shit you not there are some people who believe in Dark Sucker Theory. http://www.astro.uni-bonn.de/~dfischer/dark_sucker_2.html
Part of their evidence is that tungsten filaments on light bulbs go black over time, clearly from all the 'dark' they have sucked in.
femstora · 1 points · Posted at 09:08:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She must have watched Never ending story 2.
columbo447 · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's sad how people can go through life just making up their reality from bits of info they don't understand like a child, and no one takes any action. There was a guy like this in my class at college. He thought chinatown was a city in the middle of the US, that was made so they would have a place to put all the Chineese. And his cure for Aids: "Boil them, that kills the virus!"
Pandster · 1 points · Posted at 09:15:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wouldn't the speed of dark be relative to the speed of the object emanating the light, or indeed the object occluding said emanating body?
DrRockstein · 1 points · Posted at 09:33:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just said the China question to a friend sitting next to me and he just replied "Because China is in favor of terrorism".
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:46:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The first one is fair enough, physics can be a such a mindfuck you don't realise if what you're asking is stupid, but the second is dumb for sure.
FeculentUtopia · 1 points · Posted at 10:06:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I'm remembering my Neverending Story right
the speed of Darkness is three times the speed of light.
draw_it_now · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's the smartest dumb thing I've ever heard...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:01:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
THIS QUESTION NEEDS TO BE ANSWERED YOU COMMIES
Kricee · 1 points · Posted at 16:13:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know one worsER (yes) than this. I am not making this up.
During a class about pre-history, the teacher was saying how the cavemen had to travel big distances by foot to get where they wanted to go. A girl, not quite understanding that, asked him: "But teacher, why didn't they travel by plane?"
This is a true story.
Akerfeldt · 1 points · Posted at 16:27:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sure the first one was posted to /r/shittyaskscience
Ascenzi4 · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think, just maybe she might've been joking. The speed of dark is something I've read somewhere before.
EchoOdysseus · 2582 points · Posted at 01:43:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my 10th grade history class said, "I don't believe in Europe because I haven't seen it." Also a different kid was asked to leave the class and he replied, "Bitch nigga how is I spose to learn if I leave?" The joy of public education.
_WorldsTallestMidget · 2394 points · Posted at 03:36:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well.. that kid had a point.
jgornet · 1532 points · Posted at 04:37:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So does the second kid
mockingod · 381 points · Posted at 06:28:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Seeing is believing"
OhHowDroll · 447 points · Posted at 06:56:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh man they're gonna love you over in the blind kid thread
ssjkriccolo · 18 points · Posted at 12:06:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't see that one.
APPLEZACKS · 4 points · Posted at 14:10:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Neither did he
BVTheEpic · 3 points · Posted at 22:00:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Neither did the blind kids.
Samokoske · 6 points · Posted at 16:50:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bitch nigga how's a kid spose to type if they can't read no internet?
makeoutwiththatmoose · 9 points · Posted at 09:46:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How Can Europe Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
RoyalDreamer · 2 points · Posted at 09:49:28 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
From a philosophical point of view it can be argued that nothing that you can't see at this exact moment exists. How can you know that the room next door really exists? Your mind can tell you it exists, technology can confirm it but is it really there or is it just giving you the illusion that it exists?
Source: the one philosophy class I took
mockingod · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:34 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
>5 month bump
kurt01286 · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
-Rikimaru
piclemaniscool · 1 points · Posted at 14:16:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She wanted observational evidence not historical evidence. That's why the bible is a great resource. /s
something_python · 0 points · Posted at 14:43:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How can our Europes be real if our Germanies are in England.
Duckcarer · 22 points · Posted at 07:06:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, the elusive old Reddit kangaroo
TrustyGun · 27 points · Posted at 14:34:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Excuse me, but I believe you mean the ol' reddit switcharoo!
[deleted] · 17 points · Posted at 19:39:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hold my notebooks, i'm going in
TrustyGun · 9 points · Posted at 19:42:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's Dangerous to go alone; take this!
UhhImJef · 2 points · Posted at 19:17:46 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP dropped his pen, i must make sure he gets it.
Ben767676 · 15 points · Posted at 04:45:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Captain's Log 3/26/14. The "ol' reddit switcharoo" as it is called here has led me to /r/askreddit. This thread appears to be about stupid people. This is the first stop on a long voyage across reddit, to answer one question. Is there an end to the switcharoo? My adventure continues.
SpanishMeerkat · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:30 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wish you luck on your journey, my good sir.
opie_and_me · 1 points · Posted at 15:25:44 on March 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm on the epic quest, as well. Thanks for the song, it's fitting for this neverending journey.
delicious_grownups · 1 points · Posted at 04:43:00 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm following your back trail
delicious_grownups · 1 points · Posted at 04:48:33 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Captain's Log 03/29/2014 12:44am. I'm following the good captain Ben's back trail. I'm doing this on a Friday night. Somebody put me down before i get too far down this rabbit hole
Derpese_Simplex · 1 points · Posted at 03:12:29 on April 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Expedition log entry 13: Now I discover 2 additional captains. On seeking the other. What military are these men from? What is so vital or dire to cause this many officers to seek the end alone? Who are these people?
delicious_grownups · 1 points · Posted at 05:48:14 on April 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maniacs. Absolute madmen. I've since eaten my rations and crew on my journey
Derpese_Simplex · 1 points · Posted at 13:08:21 on April 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Expedition log entry 21: The horrors of the journey to what people here call "The Origin" never cease to amaze me. Reports of cannibalism among previous crews are coming in. All of this makes me wonder how futile is all of this, how far will someone go for a joke?
delicious_grownups · 1 points · Posted at 16:15:53 on April 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've gone as far as to eat the previous captains and their crews as well
lost_pilgrim · 5 points · Posted at 00:01:07 on May 20, 2014 · (Permalink)
link 23:
I stand before the abyss of the unknown. This path is my journey, the wind calls my name, comforting me with it's gentle kiss. I walk, one foot hits the path kicking up a small puff of dust. I look forward, and inhale deeply smelling the sweet air. My journey continues.
Gandydancer · 3 points · Posted at 20:58:27 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh dear, /u/lost_pilgrim hasn't been here. This is not good. 33 links so far.
kenyafeelme · 2 points · Posted at 09:14:27 on April 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep he's been gone for about 6 links now... I feel so alone
Inarx · 2 points · Posted at 20:53:17 on April 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don'y worry. He's closing in. His last post was about a day ago when I saw it. Give the man time, he has to properly document his travels, after all.
kenyafeelme · 1 points · Posted at 22:23:38 on April 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't there some kind of virtual bottle of sustenance I can give him like they do during marathons?
Inarx · 1 points · Posted at 22:25:23 on April 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well... You could probably do a Kickstarter on that. Darn site seems to accept just about anything.
kenyafeelme · 1 points · Posted at 00:45:10 on April 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hahaha exactly. And you can fail to deliver on your product and somehow keep the money
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:11:04 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
darkrundus · 2 points · Posted at 18:30:41 on August 15, 2014 · (Permalink)
Level 713: The posting restricting on some parts of the Path prevent my constant updates. Lostpilgrim's log has grown much smaller.
MillCrab · 2 points · Posted at 19:45:47 on August 15, 2014 · (Permalink)
Level 648: Lost Pilgrim's journey was slow, and long. This fills me with doubt about meeting him at the source.
Griclav · 2 points · Posted at 22:30:02 on August 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
A Walker warns of the burdens of trying to mark every step. It apparently has never been done. We shall be the first.
In remembrance of u/cumshotsatdawn and u/rangersix.
daedgoco · 1 points · Posted at 22:23:29 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my god it's the first time I get to a thread I've already been in by those switcharoo links.
Gwathgurth · 1 points · Posted at 04:24:18 on April 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Anyone seen a Lost Pilgrim ?
ICEKAT · 1 points · Posted at 20:56:51 on April 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
People hopelessly casting about for their guiding light. There is no light down these holes. The pilgrim is lost, as his name said he's be. or she. or shiz... however that works anymore. We all float down here, and to float to the beginning, we'll make it.
inserthumourousname · 1 points · Posted at 05:29:24 on May 14, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are fewer and fewer names one recognises on these paths. /u/hindukid has been a mile marker throughout most of my journey, occasional messages are discovered from /u/KodarK729, so they must never be discounted, and you my friend, may your path always lay before me for guidance.
Belvedere has accepted the inevitable loss of all travelers. He keeps repeating "there is none on the path but one" and seems to be distant, not only from me, but reality. The exhaustion we face daily, and what I suspect to be swelling of the brain appear to have taken their toll on my poor, sweet little idiot. Hopefully sometime soon I can find some leeches to draw the madness from his skull. I fear for him, and....
... Myself
hindukid · 1 points · Posted at 23:36:03 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was here 7:35 PM may 5th 2014
Zarkoned · 1 points · Posted at 05:18:33 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Page 148
dannysdruid · 1 points · Posted at 12:04:45 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll be back..
The_Travelling_Bard · 1 points · Posted at 20:38:44 on June 13, 2014 · (Permalink)
Freedom he'll bring...
unhealthypotato · 1 points · Posted at 15:35:01 on August 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
1220 steps remaining.
King-of-Karthadasht · 1 points · Posted at 23:17:03 on May 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I make enough comments, I'll get enough replies to pretend people talk to me!
Lumpiest_Princess · 6 points · Posted at 08:12:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are we still doing that switcheroo thing?
brickmack · 1 points · Posted at 10:34:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of my schools policy on tardies. They randomly have "tardy sweeps" and the teachers lock their doors and send late students to the cafeteria where they spend the entire period writing about something, usually whybeing late to class is bad. So even if it was their first tardy ever, and they were only 15 seconds late, they now have to spend a period doing nothing useful. And then the next day have no idea what's going on in class. How is that not more disruptive to learning than just letting the damn kid in a few minutes late?
gourmandais · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
as someone who works in class rooms, he wasnt learning anything before and if he stays the other kids in class arent going to be able to learn any because of his more than likely disruptive behavior. i see what your saying in that he will get no where by leaving but kicking him out makes the rest of the class easier.
ano414 · 1 points · Posted at 14:41:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, the old reddit dfgdfgggroo.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nullius in verba
SeagullMan2 · 1 points · Posted at 01:31:27 on May 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
thormawk · 2 points · Posted at 15:54:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The "bitch nigga" at the beginning really got my sides.
jmerridew124 · 1 points · Posted at 18:37:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Anyone who's seen the Truman Show knows this.
[deleted] · 798 points · Posted at 03:41:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
discipula_vitae · 23 points · Posted at 12:02:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Which can easily be countered with: "how are the rest of us supposed to learn with you here disrupting class."
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 11:39:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're meant to sit down and shut the fuck up if you want to learn.
If the kid is being disruptive, not only are they not learning but they're preventing others from learning too.
WhiskeyCup · 5 points · Posted at 12:15:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not if the kid was fucking around and disrupting the lesson and making it so everyone else in the classroom can't learn. I'm a teacher, and kids who can't behave in class are just asked to leave.
that-writer-kid · 23 points · Posted at 09:50:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a high school principal force me to skip my last period class multiple times when I did something dumb. He would literally just sit me down on a chair in the main office and put me in time out. I still fail to understand what the point was.
Azerothen · 20 points · Posted at 12:43:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably to stop you from distracting other kids.
that-writer-kid · 17 points · Posted at 12:51:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let me clarify: when I say "incident," I had been reading during study hall instead of doing homework. They called the vice principal and he made me skip Latin.
Azerothen · 16 points · Posted at 12:54:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's fucking stupid then.
that-writer-kid · 4 points · Posted at 12:55:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep. Although in his defence, I'd been in his office before for less stupid reasons.
rp23 · 4 points · Posted at 11:49:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably thought he was helping the other students by removing you from the situation. I agree it's bullshit but I imagine that was his reasoning.
surged_ · 2 points · Posted at 22:11:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At my high school they did sweeps. If you were caught in the hallways after the bell rang you were sent to ISS. So if you had to go to your locker and were late to class because it was at the other fucking end (big ass school) you couldnt go to class amd forced to sit and copy pages from the agenda. Fucking stupid and im glad Im done with that fucking school and its incompetent administration.
FallingAwake · 1 points · Posted at 01:53:33 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is like ever high school in America and its part of the reason why kids are so fucking dumb.
StartSelect · 2 points · Posted at 12:45:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You gotta touch a kids heart
kjata · 3 points · Posted at 22:09:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't do that. Hearts are important and you might fuck them up if you keep poking them like that.
IEnjoyFancyHats · 2 points · Posted at 23:19:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Who's the doctor here?
kjata · 2 points · Posted at 23:50:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, no. He's just The Doctor.
caca_verde · 2 points · Posted at 15:58:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he was really there to learn, he wouldn't have been acting up.
hamburgular70 · 2 points · Posted at 16:31:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he's legitimately keeping other students from learning, then he should leave. The teacher's responsibility is to every student in that class, not just the one we've heard about.
Also, that student may benefit from discussing his conduct with an administrator in order to change his behavior so that he can learn effectively. If the teacher had exhausted his/her options already, then the matter should be taken up with someone capable of further action.
edit- added second paragraph
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:13:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
only if he was send out of class for not being smart, if he was causing trouble he shouldn't have
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 18:27:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was the second one name Lil Wayne? Sounds like lyrics from a song he would write.
Bionic29 · 310 points · Posted at 03:59:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least he wanted to learn.
clubswithseals · 0 points · Posted at 10:16:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
right as the teacher I feel like part of me would just melt at the idea "I'd gotten" to one of my students like that
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:50:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hate to say it but he was probably just being an asshole/smart ass. I knew kids in high school like that and I can say from personal experience that I cant imagine any of them that are a) being told to leave class and b) saying 'bitch nigga' to the teacher actually give a shit about learning or education. They just dont want to get in trouble or move away (out of the class) from their friends
FiredUpReadytoGo · 2 points · Posted at 00:09:14 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Exactly this. It's a smartass "oh so you're breaking your own rule" thing. Saw several students use this while I was in school and as a tutor. Always disruptive and an attempt to belittle the teacher.
But that doesn't make the point any less sad. It's true, you can't learn if you get kicked out. But you aren't learning and neither are the 30 other students until you go.
WhalesAreNotReal · 437 points · Posted at 03:56:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The second person seemed interested in school so that's a good start
yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 12 points · Posted at 12:31:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or the second person just wanted to make the teacher look like an idiot.
GlassTurkey · 3 points · Posted at 21:52:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He still started his sentence off with "Bitch nigga"
Mrmrlol · 2 points · Posted at 20:44:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If he honestly wanted to learn and was asked to leave, he was probably doing something disruptive. Maybe the kid had undiagnosed ADD?
KeijyMaeda · 1 points · Posted at 17:54:47 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or he was just too lazy to get up.
Dat_Nigga_Dbizzle · 0 points · Posted at 17:34:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are whales real?
rmpcop1 · 117 points · Posted at 05:20:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kid In an eighth grade (14 yrs) said "I don't believe in robots"
yarnbrain · 16 points · Posted at 08:49:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's okay, robots don't believe in that kid either.
Hugh_Jampton · 4 points · Posted at 10:28:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How Can Robots Be Real If...
gettothachopper · 15 points · Posted at 13:27:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Europe isn't real.
trekbette · 1 points · Posted at 22:16:32 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because Japan is not part of Europe?
iTzCharmander · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He doesn't think that they exist or he doesn't think they should?
ShamelessDistraction · 45 points · Posted at 05:31:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The second one could have been worded better, but it's not too nonsensical. my nigga
poo_pon_shoo · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would argue that it couldn't have been worded any better.
bitch nigga
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 05:46:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That girl is the definition of a solipsist.
walrusnoob · 10 points · Posted at 04:51:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People don't seem to understand the second guy. He didn't give a fucking shit about education, he just wanted to argue with the teacher. While he may have had an objectively good point, if the tracer felt it nessecary to send him into the hall than probably wasn't learning shit in that classroom.
tehhass · 2 points · Posted at 06:54:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Comedy Muthafucka
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 08:23:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
EchoOdysseus · 3 points · Posted at 13:05:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bitch nigga said, "God damn it Jamarl. You know what fuck it I quit." Never saw him again.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:53:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
so....i dont exist :( ??
thefightingmongoose · 2 points · Posted at 11:05:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I used to trip on acid a bunch in high school me and my girl would often talk about if Egypt was real.
We had no proof, only school books and history TV specials. It could have been a conspiracy for all we knew. We would go on for quite a while about it.
In our defense it was just high talk.
Downvotesohoy · 2 points · Posted at 12:05:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
European here, Denmark is here at least, can confirm Sweden and Germany as well. Not sure about Norway.
000a · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty sure Iceland is a myth.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:32:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How iz I spose to lern n feed my childrenz n baby mommas if y'all hatin on my educasion n shiet.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 05:51:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
bitch nigga tru
The_Sands_Hotel · 1 points · Posted at 09:52:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That kids going places.
pounro · 1 points · Posted at 10:03:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They both have a point
jacubus · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And so the seeds are sown for the generation
mymacjumps · 1 points · Posted at 11:03:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"It's something called reading the lesson over. Also, should've thought about being an ass if you wanted to learn."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL i live in a bunch of lies
ImperialMarketTroope · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fair enough. Moving on
PM_Me_Compliments · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At this point there is no hard proof that Europe exists, so I think we can give him the benefit of the doubt on that one.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:04:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I’ll have to bust this one out if I ever find myself talking to a Creationist.
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 14:18:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah man this shit never made sense to me. Kid misbehaves GO HOME SO WE CAN TEACH YOU A LESSON!
Shit whenever I got suspended I played Playstation and masturbated..
letsgoforarun · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl get kicked out of class once but instead of leaving, she stood up, screamed "I'M HERE TO LEARN" and then sat back down and cried. The teacher didn't even know what to do so she just left thengirl alone and kept teaching.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:33:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why do you specify the first person is a girl, but you use a gender neutral term for the second?
tickingnoise · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow...that girl from 10th grade is a wise one. If Europe doesn't exist, Europeans don't exist either. I question my whole life now. What if nothing is real? What if I only live in EchoOdysseus's imagination?
philosarapter · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl who didn't believe that outer space was real. She told me she thought it was a government conspiracy. I had no words....
Ascenzi4 · 1 points · Posted at 16:38:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The first one was obviously a joke.
SwagaliciousHobo · 1 points · Posted at 17:02:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One girl in my English class one time didn't believe in dolphins...
aphd · 1 points · Posted at 18:43:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Trust me, you get it in private schools too.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:27:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How can Europe be real if our eyes aren't real?
Brandwein · 1 points · Posted at 07:28:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, did that first girl never see a documentary about europe or meet people from there? Believing in no-evidence things god is one thing, but a thing like europe has produced modern believable media.
FNU__LNU · -1 points · Posted at 19:13:38 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
I guess kid number 1 is an athiest.
LandmineFrisbee · 0 points · Posted at 12:46:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can confirm I'm from Europe
Source: I don't exist.
lax_bro16 · 1440 points · Posted at 02:25:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have posted this before, but in freshman biology class we were reviewing the subatomic particles, and the teacher asked a girl to list them. She responds with "Protons, Electrons, and Decepticons" and could not figure out why the class was laughing at her.
dibsODDJOB · 890 points · Posted at 04:52:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Duh. Clearly the Decepticons are not neutral.
Coconuteer · 3 points · Posted at 18:32:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Negatrons instead of electrons and u have a perfect sentence
stickflip · -26 points · Posted at 12:18:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But neutrons are. #themoreyouknow
RainbowNinja14 · 9 points · Posted at 16:50:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You must be new
[deleted] · 188 points · Posted at 10:06:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I prefer to imagine that she was actually a comedic genius. "...and decepticons. What? What's so funny guys? Electrons, neutrons and Megatrons"
timfromsweden · 2 points · Posted at 16:36:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well technically there are "negatrons" which are the particles that make electrons negative.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:52:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If protons = Megatrons then electrons = Negatrons.
thebigbadben · 2 points · Posted at 02:48:43 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
negatrons are already a thing
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:27:22 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yup. They're electrons.
thebigbadben · 1 points · Posted at 12:01:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, they're anti-protons; quite different
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:21:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
negatron (nĕg′ə-trŏn′) An electron with a negative charge; the antiparticle of the positron. Most branches of particle physics construe each particle along with its antiparticle to be two different forms of one underlying phenomenon, and the term electron is sometimes used as a precisely such a general term, with positron and negatron referring to the forms of the electron as they are manifested in nature.
thebigbadben · 2 points · Posted at 14:25:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Apparently the term is used to refer to both. TIL
Ace_attourney · 17 points · Posted at 09:08:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why were you learning about sub atomic particles in biology?
vadergeek · 15 points · Posted at 10:45:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably because biology requires a reasonable amount of chemistry, which requires a small amount of physics.
SpikeMF · 1 points · Posted at 15:44:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"chemistry"
"physics"
vadergeek · 1 points · Posted at 16:24:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A great deal of chemistry. There's a reason biochem is a prominent field, our bodies have a ton of chemistry going on. That said, for most the physics doesn't go far beyond "these are the basic subatomic particles, here's why you should care".
shadow1515 · 1 points · Posted at 17:22:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We actually did our organic chemistry unit in biology class in high school. The chemistry class covered mostly general/physical/analytical chemistry.
blurple77 · 12 points · Posted at 08:22:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That actually would have been a really good joke if she knew better.
ssjkriccolo · 13 points · Posted at 12:12:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She knew.
KnowerOfUnknowable · 3 points · Posted at 13:49:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
You can laugh at her for saying "decepticons".
I choose to celebrate that she said protons and electrons. My world doesn't have people that say protons and electrons.
bkalen17 · 3 points · Posted at 14:14:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Freshman year in geometry class someone actually thought a "deciptigon" was a real shape.
maku098 · 3 points · Posted at 09:14:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wat
DqChu823 · 3 points · Posted at 12:36:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She must have been dreaming of a guy ejaculating inside screaming "DECEPTICONS, TERRORIZE."
... Or she was thinking of one of my favorite moments in Beast Wars.
OptimusPrime_ · 3 points · Posted at 14:58:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That would be "Predacons TERRORIZE!" But close enough!
DqChu823 · 3 points · Posted at 15:00:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
SH*T.......................
... And I'll leave my blunder there to shame myself.
EDIT: And I became the dumbest person to be shamed by Optimus Prime himself.
kjtest21 · 3 points · Posted at 14:23:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
FTFY
Theemuts · 3 points · Posted at 14:30:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of an e-mail by someone on the board of my study association, that they were now selling the book "Signals, Systems and Transformers."
reddivid · 2 points · Posted at 11:44:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
2/3 is really not bad.
whobroughtmehere · 2 points · Posted at 12:40:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had someone read a current event summary in my science class once, something about how they were building cars made of subatomic particles for transporting small objects. She said something like how they plan to use "electrons for wheels, protons for bodies, etc."
First question: who's driving these cars?
totallynot13 · 3 points · Posted at 06:22:07 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
decepticons duh
whobroughtmehere · 1 points · Posted at 08:10:40 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm impressed that you're thumbing through 3 month old posts. Thanks for the laugh, mate.
stop_it_ron · 2 points · Posted at 13:43:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty sure you got this from Reggie Watts.
Deranged_Cyborg · 2 points · Posted at 18:51:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is my favorite one in this thread
antoinebugleboy · 2 points · Posted at 05:30:42 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why were you reviewing subatomic particles in biology class?
lax_bro16 · 1 points · Posted at 04:58:36 on June 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was an introductory unit where we discussed a lot of the basic concepts of Chemistry and Biology, but the rest of the year was definitely more biology focused.
blakkattika · 1 points · Posted at 15:24:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man, if that was ever done on purpose though it'd be the schools classic zinger of the week.
forgottenatma · 1 points · Posted at 15:45:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So clearly not smart, but that is still awesome that she knew the word. Not what they were obviously, but at least the word. Could have been worse.
Chesney1995 · 1 points · Posted at 01:18:41 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
My Physics teacher in his 2nd ever lesson with us did a lesson on the families of different particles. He told us: "There are 3 families of subatomic particles, Leptons, Bosons and Klingons." He then paused for a moment and then says "I can't believe you all wrote that down, they are from Star trek you idiots!"
Phreshzilla · 1 points · Posted at 14:17:05 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I always like to joke and say protons electrons and Quintons.
Hob_goblin · 1 points · Posted at 12:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had she been joking, that actually would have been a clever answer.
[deleted] · 1061 points · Posted at 01:59:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
brownliquid · 1742 points · Posted at 05:07:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...for a pigeon.
SHSzilla · 74 points · Posted at 10:23:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/enlightenedbirdmen
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 12:02:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now I am subbed to that.
BVTheEpic · 3 points · Posted at 22:06:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
SCRAAAWWW THE FILTHY MUDMEN HAVE DISCOVERED US SCRAAAAWW
Brocccooli · 2 points · Posted at 17:36:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
....it's a thing
jmerridew124 · 1 points · Posted at 18:40:19 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why is that link purple?
ryan31s · 1 points · Posted at 16:08:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What did I do in the past to cause the link to be purple already?
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:20:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Am pigeon. Can confirm.
Joe_Stallin · 1 points · Posted at 22:06:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey don't talk about hank that way!
muzzman32 · 2 points · Posted at 12:46:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You win the loudest chortle of the night for me.
Arkail · 373 points · Posted at 08:27:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This girl used a stile my mother set up to climb over the fence behind my house. She said "Thank God for putting this here, it saves me 5 minutes every day." I said thank my mum, the girl then said my mother couldn't have put it up because she's a woman.
ThisIsTotalBullshit_ · 22 points · Posted at 11:11:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What is a style in this context?
[deleted] · 46 points · Posted at 11:35:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They mean "stile", not "style".
Bronzdragon · 18 points · Posted at 12:53:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What is a 'stile'?
jasmineearlgrey · 25 points · Posted at 13:01:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0f/KentStile.jpg/800px-KentStile.jpg It allows you to climb over a fence more easily.
_Bones · 6 points · Posted at 16:56:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But that fence is only like 3 feet wide... Why?
Chairmclee · 7 points · Posted at 17:53:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To the left of the fence is a hedge. Or some sort of plants and the like; likely you could squeeze past, but if left untrimmed it could be difficult, or maybe it was larger when the stile was first put up. Normally to the right would be a gate, it looks like it's open in this picture, but you can see the metal hook holder things sticking out that would secure the gate closed.
As to why you need a stile when there's a gate: the gate might be large and unwieldy, they're often big enough to get a tractor through, and you don't really want to be opening a gate when there's a bunch of sheep that could rush out of the pasture.
Ninja_FruitAssassin · 3 points · Posted at 17:21:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Barbed wire, maybe? There might be some that doesn't show up in the photo to keep animals in so the stile would be for people to use.
_Bones · 2 points · Posted at 17:38:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a fairly high definition photo with decent lighting. You'd be able to see barbed wire. It would also require some sort of anchoring system to attach it to the post, either by wrapping it around the post or some sort of clamp, neither of which I see evidence of.
nandhp · 2 points · Posted at 22:59:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To the right of the stile is barbed wire. (Not sure about the left.)
djEdible · 3 points · Posted at 09:56:04 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can't get over how simple and genius way of making stairs this is
shadow1515 · 2 points · Posted at 17:23:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't that basically...stairs? That's what I would have called it.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 16:52:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know what a turnstile is? Now imagine one that doesn't turn.
Arkail · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's just like a step you use to climb over fencing. http://www.beacons-npa.gov.uk/environment/Understandbiod/bd-in-the-bbnp/biodiversity-in-the-national-park/ibimage_142610/image_preview
FallenMatt · 10 points · Posted at 12:24:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So she was stepping all over your mums style?
Arkail · 3 points · Posted at 14:44:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kinda stile. I make spelling error. http://www.beacons-npa.gov.uk/environment/Understandbiod/bd-in-the-bbnp/biodiversity-in-the-national-park/ibimage_142610/image_preview
Ikillstuffalot · 9 points · Posted at 14:20:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you sure your holy Father didn't put it there? I mean... Your mom is a woman afterall....
ppsstt · 1 points · Posted at 17:28:23 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's a style?
Arkail · 2 points · Posted at 17:35:51 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stile
Thishorsesucks · -1 points · Posted at 13:10:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Who's the sexist now reddit?
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 14:40:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't think anyone claims women can't be sexist. Who put sexist ideas in someone's head though?
Thishorsesucks · 1 points · Posted at 16:17:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I generally chock it up to people that segregate other people that think differently.
Drando_HS · -12 points · Posted at 12:41:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
xDskyline · 41 points · Posted at 08:33:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Assuming this is in the US. As sad as that comment is, it's actually a testament to how incredible the US road and highway system is. Some poor girl actually thought it was an act of god.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 13:26:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Our infrastructure is actual shit now. I'm assuming this statement was made years ago. Or perhaps it could have been made recently I guess if you have nothing to compare it to.
Blinsin · 3 points · Posted at 14:55:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Civil Engineer here Agree the infrastructure of America is shit.
It got me a job out of college though :D
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And if we decided to actually fix all this crap, you and I would never want for employment
calgil · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or poor education system. Or both!
chadsexytime · 1 points · Posted at 00:46:47 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
an obvious example of irreducible complexity
Concise_Pirate · 1 points · Posted at 21:16:21 on May 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Everyone knows the superhighways were built by Superman. Duh.
TimeTravelMishap · 19 points · Posted at 06:56:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Clearly she played to much black and white
trebuszek · 3 points · Posted at 13:18:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/whowillbuildtheroads
fosterwallacejr · 3 points · Posted at 14:57:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i'm always amazed how comprehensive road systems are throughout the world, it took us a few thousand years but damn
mrbrambles · 3 points · Posted at 20:02:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I dont understand so it must be magic"
rahtin · 6 points · Posted at 04:50:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"God is an ever-receding pocket of scientific ignorance that's getting smaller and smaller and smaller as time goes on"
We all have to start somewhere.
OhHowDroll · -3 points · Posted at 07:10:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, the euphoria.
[deleted] · -5 points · Posted at 09:33:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Except, you know, the things people actually think God made/is/does
AbsoluteLoss · 2 points · Posted at 08:20:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"understandable logic"? no, no I don't think it's "logic".
dontknowmeatall · 1 points · Posted at 14:29:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is so cute and so sad...
homologize · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OMG wait was this Paulina?????
ajkeel · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I knew in high school told me she didn't believe in dinosaurs because they weren't mentioned in the story of Noah's Ark.
She also thinks that the dinosaur bones discovered and on display are a conspiracy by the CIA for some reason.ACTUALLY, i just remembered, just recently she had a post on facebook talking about how she's warming up to the idea that there were dinosaurs because they must have died in the Great Flood because no one wanted those "scary monsters" on the Ark. I understand where she's coming from, being from the Bible Belt and all, but.. i just can't understand.ShinyBaubles · 1 points · Posted at 16:09:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, it's understandable if you have 5 year old, or less, kid logic.
that_guy_next_to_you · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL I'm God
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 12:52:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bible belt?
randyrectem · -3 points · Posted at 08:56:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In this moment I am euphoric, not because of some phony god's roads. But because of construction workers
spoonclaymore · 63 points · Posted at 08:15:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Looking over a test I took in college one of the girls in the class with me was amazed that I got an A. She said, "that test was so hard, I failed it!" I asked her if she studied at all. She said no, and she told me she was drunk when she took the test.
Dutch_Oven911 · 621 points · Posted at 01:01:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy in my history class once asked "Didn't Hitler die from breast cancer?"
[deleted] · 614 points · Posted at 04:03:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bananabobby · 122 points · Posted at 08:24:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why does this exist...
guessmyagenda · 81 points · Posted at 11:38:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For my amusement.
EpicPhail60 · 7 points · Posted at 14:34:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think I can guess your agenda now.
guessmyagenda · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cool, you're the first one to try.
KeijyMaeda · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:27 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is your agenda... seeing historical tyrants ridiculed?
tricet · 1 points · Posted at 22:51:40 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
In context, your username makes this comment disturbing.
Get_Head_Ed · 1 points · Posted at 17:46:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because this is Reddit.
BVTheEpic · 1 points · Posted at 22:10:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Rule 34.
Fowl6460 · 0 points · Posted at 16:06:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why is it already purple?
bogarthskernfeld · 13 points · Posted at 06:21:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've never laughed so hard when a subreddit loaded. it's... so... delightfully ridiculous.
SirACG · 4 points · Posted at 07:52:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's disturbing.
TopHatPanda · 2 points · Posted at 08:28:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
holy shit shouldn't have pressed this link at work. But to be honest it's exactly what i expected. My curiosity was too great this time.
edit: a word.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 13:48:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/ofcoursethatsathing
Maxkjaer · 2 points · Posted at 13:51:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn it reddit.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:42:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You people are always searching for an opportunity to post this sub, aren't you?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:02:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/ofcoursethatsathing
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:30:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe some other time but not today. Not today.
workingclassbum · 1 points · Posted at 11:10:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay that's enough Internet for today
LutterBettuce · 1 points · Posted at 14:16:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why does this subreddit exist
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
THis sub though
ctr613 · 1 points · Posted at 18:43:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Who the fuck invented this sick sub?!
narangutang · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:51 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm strangely aroused.
xxthespartanxx · 1 points · Posted at 01:33:03 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
So that's a yes?
LambdaCore27 · 1 points · Posted at 23:25:15 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
That link will stay blue.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:26:05 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
5 months too late, mate. What are you doing here?
twistedmycameltea · 1 points · Posted at 20:10:41 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Awesome
Testbot5000 · 1 points · Posted at 10:57:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ahhh NSFW Tags DUDE!!!!
Therion418 · 0 points · Posted at 07:40:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The fact that this is a real subreddit makes me sad.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:03:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It kinda makes me happy.
NikolaTesla1 · 0 points · Posted at 12:27:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gave me a fear boner.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:37:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
AquaticCupcake · 78 points · Posted at 03:23:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a person who asked, "Wasn't Hitler famous for killing his son or something?"
Dutch_Oven911 · 120 points · Posted at 03:45:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hitler: father of the Jews.
annuvin · 8 points · Posted at 10:46:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Indirectly, he did deliver them to the 'Promised Land' of Israel.
Weird how that works.
Dutch_Oven911 · 1 points · Posted at 22:53:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you trying to suggest that Hitler was the second coming off Jesus?
annuvin · 1 points · Posted at 00:51:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Interesting concept, don't you think? Maybe Jesus wasn't such a nice guy after all. Remember, we have only ever heard one side of that story...
Dutch_Oven911 · 1 points · Posted at 05:36:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well actually the bible does talk about the pharisees and teachers who hated Jesus
The_Hipster_Tiger · 2 points · Posted at 17:35:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jews, One person who is the son of Hitler
kurt01286 · 0 points · Posted at 14:39:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm so sorry, LOL!!!
ButtsexEurope · 4 points · Posted at 08:42:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think he misspoke. He was thinking of Hitlers mother who DID die from breast cancer. Not stupid, just not eloquent.
Dutch_Oven911 · 2 points · Posted at 22:54:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No just stupid. Trust me if you knew the guy.
cthuluhascalled · 4 points · Posted at 14:25:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
So what? He didn't know how he died, and heard somewhere it was from breast cancer, or mixed Hitler up with someone who had breast cancer. Men can get breast cancer too, it's just not as common
EDIT: ducking autocorrect
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 15:56:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
BRB, checking my cat.
Dutch_Oven911 · 3 points · Posted at 22:52:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Remember if you feel a lump you want to get him to a doctor ASAP.
Animus-Vox · 3 points · Posted at 13:24:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I want to believe.
finno98 · 2 points · Posted at 02:23:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That doesn't make him dumb, that just makes him misinformed.
Dutch_Oven911 · 5 points · Posted at 03:08:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you knew the guy he was just dumb.
BadgersForChange · 1 points · Posted at 05:57:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What a great mammary.
fedupwiththatshit · 1 points · Posted at 12:21:48 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
he was probably high ...
Numbnuts50 · 1 points · Posted at 05:03:47 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Think that one was a troll lol
faithfuljohn · 725 points · Posted at 05:16:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This Jamaican guy started making fun of me because I was from Africa.
A bit stunned, I'm like, "where do you think your ancestors came from?"
"Jamaica"
"And before that?"
"Jamaica"
"No. Africa"
"No. Jamaica."
No he was not all native american descent (or white or whatever)... he was a black as the night.
EDIT: he failed a grade at some point. And ended up a crack addict (allegedly).
EDIT2: Arawaks, the indigenous population that Colombus encountered, where not all wiped out. "Puerto Ricans, Surinamese, Venezuela, Guyana and Colombians can claim Arawak ancestry"
Joifullee · 192 points · Posted at 05:28:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
people with colonized minds say the darndest things..
iamadogforreal · 5 points · Posted at 14:05:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's my favorite Bill Cosby show!
Cooldude638 · 17 points · Posted at 07:33:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
FTFY
draw_it_now · 2 points · Posted at 16:04:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Then you get the people with the complete opposite mindset,
ie. "I'm Irish... on my great-great-great step-grandmother's side!"
darkened_enmity · 1 points · Posted at 19:47:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
'Murica
CliffRacer17 · 1 points · Posted at 23:09:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
colonized minds.
Is that the same thing as saying he's an asshat?
Samokoske · -1 points · Posted at 16:47:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[proof] Murrica!
mudkipzing · 19 points · Posted at 10:50:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
That says enough
ThatNordicGuy · 10 points · Posted at 09:10:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. Jamaica.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 12:10:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty sure we're all African...
the_benji_man · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure the native Jamaicans were all wiped out...
faithfuljohn · 2 points · Posted at 02:42:28 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
not entirely apparently (according to one Jamaican friend, who is part native Jamaican or something).
Mind you, I"ve never confirmed.
mmarkklar · 4 points · Posted at 12:38:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You could have blown his mind by telling him that technically, all humans are Ethiopian.
faithfuljohn · 3 points · Posted at 02:41:49 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Which, is where I was born, funny enough.
demostravius · 1 points · Posted at 21:52:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did a little research, there don't appear to be any native Jamaicans left at all.
faithfuljohn · 2 points · Posted at 02:50:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
as you may see from my edit, that not entirely true.
brycedriesenga · 1 points · Posted at 17:19:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, I mean, he was talking about you, not your ancestors.
Orange_Jeews · -1 points · Posted at 13:29:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ooga booga black. purple
tfielder · 291 points · Posted at 02:22:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my astronomy class: "So if I went out into space could I like push the stars around and knock them into eachother and stuff?" Teacher: "No, they are incredible massive objects" Girl: "But they look so little!"
davedontmind · 16 points · Posted at 08:38:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminded me of this
sartres-shart · 7 points · Posted at 10:47:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew before i clicked that this was going to be Father Ted.
MotherLoveBone27 · 7 points · Posted at 10:20:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No concept of distance? What the...
theLoveGiant · 6 points · Posted at 07:01:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How old was this person?
SpockAndKirk · 2 points · Posted at 17:25:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ho...ly...fuck
Svenly1 · -6 points · Posted at 05:38:17 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This chick in my astronomy class asked if the moon affected us physically in the way it affected the tides. My professors face was hilarious.
pastnastification3 · 879 points · Posted at 01:35:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was around 8-10 (or whatever the normal age is when you know your own address) and I just made a new friend and she invited me over to her house to hang out. I planned on dropping by after taking my things home so naturally I asked for her address. She grabbed a paper and pencil and started drawing 3 houses. She pointed to the middle house and said "I live here". TLDR: never talked to her again.
[deleted] · 326 points · Posted at 03:50:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
BiomassDenial · 242 points · Posted at 04:39:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I thought parents taught their kids that shit before they got to school, just in case.
LadyWidebottom · 20 points · Posted at 12:22:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My kid ran around telling everybody at her childcare what our address was. :/
Angelofgeek · 3 points · Posted at 02:12:19 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mom never bothered to tell me our address, or our phone number. But she expected me to know it, like I was some mind reader. Didn't help we lived in Germany at the time.
EndOfNight · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe they were kind of hoping, someday, he wouldn't show up again... know what I'm saying...
ILoveBigOil · 1 points · Posted at 16:42:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They do. Also, you just remember it. It isn't that hard, and it doesn't charge often
browser_bowser · 1 points · Posted at 22:22:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's less about the age and more about the fact that this girl should definitely have known her address. Not just that it was the middle of the only 3 houses in existence. Ever.
FoxtrotZero · 1 points · Posted at 01:53:10 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Being taught something and remembering it isn't a normal thing. I had trouble with phone numbers for a long time.
JamesEarlCash · 12 points · Posted at 21:22:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
P. Sherman 42 wallaby way, Sydney.
StacheKetchum · 5 points · Posted at 21:01:51 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dad's a postman. Knew my address at birth. All friends' addresses immediately after meeting them. It's like ESPostal.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:19:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I still don't know mine.
chunkymonkey007 · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah that shit was mandatory
dsjunior1388 · 1 points · Posted at 18:43:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I recall having "homework" in first grade where we had like 2 weeks to memorize our address and phone number.
mortiphago · 1 points · Posted at 19:21:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
right? mommy taught me that I live in the middle house when I was like 3
Runixo · 1 points · Posted at 12:04:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So did I. It was the yellow one!
lachamuca · 0 points · Posted at 08:08:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I still remember the address of the house I lived at when I was a kid. We moved from there right after I turned 8. I'm pretty sure my brother remembers it too, and he's 2 years younger than I am.
jayserb · 21 points · Posted at 15:11:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kindergarten role call: a young and naive jayserb gets marked absent because he doesn't know his last name. Much improvement since then, I now have a college degree and know my full name.
DrNick2012 · 34 points · Posted at 07:31:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well it's not the house on the left and it's not the house on the right. It is however a house in the middle, how did you not find her house knowing this?
rockhopper92 · 8 points · Posted at 20:30:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck, I had to drive some kid home from tennis practice one day after school. He couldn't tell me where he lived. He couldn't even explain how to get to his house. He had to call his mom to give me the directions. We were in high school.
shadow1515 · 8 points · Posted at 17:38:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That reminds me of a time when I was in college where I thought I had met the dumbest person ever, but it turned out I really hadn't.
I worked in the shop building sets for the college's theaters, and the guy who ran the place was throwing a year-end party/barbecue for all the shop workers at his house. Someone who had gone last year was drawing us a map to the location, and it was literally just a long line with a square at the end labelled "[boss]'s house".
Turned out that was actually correct; you just had to get on main street and keep driving until the road ended in a t-intersection with another major road (in a different town by that point), his house was right there.
Sirfatass · 8 points · Posted at 05:15:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's not stupid, that's adorable!
[deleted] · 38 points · Posted at 05:54:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
>8-10
5 years too late
giroro24 · 2 points · Posted at 11:59:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So she lives in the house that looks like it should be there (it's between two other ones so it would make more sense for it to be there than not) but isn't?
N0m_N0m · 1 points · Posted at 00:18:41 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was that a nightvale reference?
MystJake · 2 points · Posted at 20:03:15 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, I mean, maybe if it were an absurdly (for an 8-year-old) good drawing of 3 houses, each with proper architectural accuracy, and maybe with a road sign in the picture, maybe? Perhaps it was a game to try and get you to find her house by using the drawing.
LillaNissen · 1 points · Posted at 19:31:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well it was true...
esrevnoc · 312 points · Posted at 03:01:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl at my school : "I don't swim a lot during the summer because I do not want to get water cancer"
You mean skin cancer? From the sun?
"No. Water cancer. You can get cancer from the pool water."
.-. Help me.
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 14:25:42 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Possible she misunderstood her parents concerns. Some people think chlorine in water is toxic for one. Then there is the actual risk that you are more exposed to sun when swimming because of reflected light and the water washing your solar cream.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 06:59:21 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's hilarious
IAmTotallyNotHere · 18 points · Posted at 03:23:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can only turn until your on you side, you hande the rest-> :|
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:47:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should have helped him all the way! Why are you totally not here for people?
sumcpeeps · 4 points · Posted at 13:54:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah...I wonder how they cure that? Did you laugh or were you too stunned?
esrevnoc · 3 points · Posted at 23:31:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stunned. There were no words.
sumcpeeps · -3 points · Posted at 23:40:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a breast cancer survivor, I wish I would have had water cancer. Something non-existant would have been a helluva lot easier to deal with.
I hope she got smarter with age, or has chosen not to have children.
Exya · 2 points · Posted at 11:59:26 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
totally not a brag
sumcpeeps · 0 points · Posted at 14:38:28 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't brag about survival. I just rejoice that I'm still here.
StaleTheBread · 3 points · Posted at 01:13:45 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Could you say she was... shocked?
llcooljessie · 2 points · Posted at 19:38:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Great. Now there's another kind of cancer to worry about.
GrafKarpador · 2 points · Posted at 14:34:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only logical explanation could be that she somehow somewhere picked up that chlorene in pool water could cause cancer (or something along those lines) and translated it to 'water cancer'? Is that a possibility?
esrevnoc · 2 points · Posted at 02:20:02 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I asked her that too.
I have no logical explanation.
anras · 1 points · Posted at 17:47:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Does that mean skin cancer is sun cancer?
Numbnuts50 · 1 points · Posted at 05:10:55 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
From what I've gotten from our pool she may be right..
esrevnoc · 1 points · Posted at 05:21:34 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
What? .-.
Diet--Coke · 2317 points · Posted at 05:01:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This girl saw "double cheese burger" on a restaurant menu and she got all excited, thinking it meant "DOUBLE CHEESE burger" (extra cheese). She was confused when there was two patties in the burger.
... That girl was me. My boyfriend still laughs at me.
TL;DR: I like cheese.
Edit: Apparently a lot of you are on my side! Thanks frands.
Edit 2: my highest rated comment is about cheese.
and_what_army · 127 points · Posted at 09:12:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A true double cheeseburger has both two patties and two slices of cheese. This is the reason that McDonald's serves both a "double cheeseburger" (two patties, two slices of cheese) and a cheaper "McDouble" (two patties, one slice of cheese).
If you desire a single patty and two slices of cheese, I'm not sure how to help you.
4x0n · 93 points · Posted at 09:47:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Extra cheese, just as any other condiment.
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger :)
aequitas3 · 3 points · Posted at 19:20:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, that is unpossible.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:30:43 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I always get extra bacon
DoItForTheFrauen · 4 points · Posted at 21:21:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
McDoubles only have one slice of cheese?! I thought I was beating the system
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 13:27:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You go to In-N-Out and order a 1x2, obviously.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:42:42 on April 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn, you beat me. I was definitely going to say that.
4thinversion · 3 points · Posted at 05:18:26 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Quarter pounder with cheese. :)
Umbreonnnnn · 2 points · Posted at 21:03:42 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wendy's worker here (came for the Kevin story from another thread, stayed for reasons) and the single has two pieces of cheese and one patty. They put it under and on top of the patty.
hijinksobserved · -3 points · Posted at 03:24:11 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
The McDouble has no cheese.
[deleted] · 563 points · Posted at 07:34:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 239 points · Posted at 10:53:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A double-burger with cheese. Called a Double Royale in
AmsterdamParis.Edit: wrong city.
EViL-D · 16 points · Posted at 11:09:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Paris actually
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 11 points · Posted at 11:27:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just looked it up, you're right! I always thought the quote said Amsterdam for some reason. I have been living a lie.
token_bastard · 4 points · Posted at 15:02:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's because, before they got to talking about French fast food, Vincent was explaining to Jules the perceived greatness of Amsterdam's pot laws. Then onto German theaters serving beer. Then to Belgians putting mayo on fries. You simply misremembered, and that's ok.
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 2 points · Posted at 15:03:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks, man. It has been a while since I've seen it.
phynn · -1 points · Posted at 16:31:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...What?
getElephantById · 3 points · Posted at 14:27:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let me ask you a question: what's the mayonnaise situation with this burger?
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 4 points · Posted at 14:56:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On this fictional burger? It's got exactly the amount of mayonnaise that you like.
InternetKing46 · 2 points · Posted at 14:52:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you learn that from Pulp Fiction by any chance?
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 6 points · Posted at 14:57:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Less "learned" and more "regurgitated for comedic purposes".
DeputyDangleDunk · 2 points · Posted at 00:59:08 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's actually called a Royal with cheese.
FSid · 0 points · Posted at 01:27:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
From France, never ever heard of this ... Royal Cheese maybe ?
Maybe "Woosh" but I really don't see ... :/
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 1 points · Posted at 07:40:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was paraphrasing the "Royale with cheese" bit from Pulp Fiction.
FSid · -1 points · Posted at 15:58:05 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh ok thank you !
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 10:25:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A double-burger with cheese.
UdderAnnihilation · 2 points · Posted at 09:52:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or double (cheese) burger
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:11:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
but it's also got two slices of cheese.
RiKSh4w · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Should it be a double cheese-burger?
zazu2006 · 1 points · Posted at 12:31:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
2x(cheese burger) or a double cheese, double burger. Anddddd now I am thinking of the double rainbow song.
JordanGusta · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or double(cheese-burger)
distribution bitch.
TheLuckman · 1 points · Posted at 16:33:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or a "double cheese double burger".
aphd · 11 points · Posted at 18:47:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Remember PEMDAS
CHEESEBURGER = CHEESE+BURGER
DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER = 2(CHEESE+BURGER)
2(CHEESE+BURGER) = 2CHEESE + 2BURGER
I'm just seeing 2 cheeseburgers as the only answer.
EDIT: MATH
booostedd · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:30 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
how about DOUBLE CHEESE BURGER like OP said. 2x the cheese, 1x the burger.
Uncertain-Father · 9 points · Posted at 08:23:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
IMHO, this makes perfect sense. Double Cheese Burger. Double is followed by cheese, meaning that the cheese is what is doubled. IF there is a space between cheese and burger. Double Cheese Burger, should be different than Double Cheeseburger.
PatrickPJM · 6 points · Posted at 12:41:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was at a restaurant and ordered the "three cheese ravioli" what I received was (3) cheese ravioli. I was heart broken
Cooldude638 · 9 points · Posted at 07:26:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well if you put emphasis on 'double cheese' instead of 'cheese burger' then I suppose it makes sense.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:43:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bless your heart.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:23:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey, still better than my ex, who thought a cheeseburger had no meat on it at all, just cheese. She thought cheeseburgers were vegetarian.
Skippy8898 · 3 points · Posted at 19:56:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just want to say Diet-Coke that it could have been worse. My brother went to a McDonald's and asked for a "Cheeseburger with Cheese".
passengernumber4 · 3 points · Posted at 01:53:21 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I work with a guy who is from India. He thought hamburgers are made from ham and a bun and cheeseburgers are just cheese and a bun.
He's very smart but had just moved here.
whatsausernamebro · 2 points · Posted at 10:16:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But there is an extra slice of cheese on the extra patty
1234wxzy · 2 points · Posted at 11:17:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That sounds reasonable to me.
ABCDude91 · 2 points · Posted at 12:48:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So the dumbest person you've ever met... is yourself?
Obsidianmonster · 2 points · Posted at 12:54:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty stupid though
anthropomorphist · 2 points · Posted at 17:33:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
compared to the rest of the thread, this is irrelevant.
and that's a compliment!
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:24:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I love diet coke and cheese! I think you're the coolest person I've met today!
Diet--Coke · 2 points · Posted at 05:24:37 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
They really are the two best things in life!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:22:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where I come from, McDonalds used to always give you the option of buying two cheese burgers together, and it was called the double cheese burger. Then they brought out a cheese burger with two patties in it, this was also called a double cheese burger.
Made for some mild anxiety when trying to place an order through the drive-thru because both items have the words emphasised the same way.
cronos844 · 1 points · Posted at 10:57:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Doesn't it still have double cheese, one for each of the double Burger?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:05:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
McDonald's McDoubles must be soul crushing to you.
svmk1987 · 1 points · Posted at 12:50:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not american and I'm not exposed to your fast food. I learned what double cheeseburger meant on American TV shows. It is confusing.
3471118 · 1 points · Posted at 13:09:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't exactly remember since its been a while but I think McDonalds mcdouble is two patties 1 cheese and double cheeseburger two patties two cheese
dontneeddota2 · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I like your version much better. Keep dreaming!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dafuq is a "frands"?
ANewMachine615 · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's OK, I did something similar. I ordered a buffalo burger, expecting a burger slathered in that delicious vinegary sauce I love so much. Nope. Burger made out of buffalo meat. I mean, it was good and all, but... not at all what I was expecting.
Awsome_Pepper · 1 points · Posted at 13:46:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now i want an "double cheese" burger
SuperShak · 1 points · Posted at 14:00:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked at a university with an exchange student from India. He came back from lunch one day with this horrified look on his face holding a burger.
After we explained cheeseburgers to him he exclaimed;
AwkwardRaver · 1 points · Posted at 14:07:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shot in the dark, is your name Taylor Swift?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As well he should.
leonprimrose · 1 points · Posted at 14:19:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hell, I wish that was a thing. Why can't that be a thing!?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:21:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But that shit they put in cheeseburgers isn’t even cheese….
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you should get two patties, with cheese on both.
AislinKageno · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This sounds logical to me. A restaurant should serve a "double cheeseburger" along with a "doublecheese burger". Maybe the space will stop the confusion.
Ruval · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
See, that's adorably stupid though.
Like a Golden Retriever.
I know they are smart dogs. I love them. Golden Retreiver grins are the epitome of "Ignorance is Bliss" though.
smilingasIsay · 1 points · Posted at 14:56:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What did you order to drink?
Noke_swog · 1 points · Posted at 15:06:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A TL;DR for 2 sentences. What a time to be alive.
wantonballbag · 1 points · Posted at 15:14:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/cheese
Come. Join us.
purple-whatevers · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In all honesty a good double cheeseburger goes bun>meat>cheese>meat>cheese>bun. Double cheese, double meat. Add in your favorite toppings between either the first cheese and 2nd meat or between 2nd cheese and bun. Ketchup/mustard/mayo is acceptable only at bun locations.
WedgieWhite · 1 points · Posted at 16:14:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know that I am super late in responding to this, but I actually had the reverse experience. I was in China and I saw that a restaurant had a double cheese burger and I was super excited for two patties of delicious, delicious burger (I had been away from America for 6 months at this point and was living in rural China where there were no hamburgers). I get the burger and it had two cheese slices. Still, pretty amazing.
Just let your boyfriend know
kornberg · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your username is my favorite beverage and cheese is my favorite food. I don't know if I want us to be besties, bonding over our love of the same food, or enemies, battling over the last Diet Coke and piece of brie.
mnlop · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Double cheese burger - 2 cheese, 2 patties
McDouble - 1 cheese, 2 patties
2 girls 1 cup - 2 girls, 1 cup
owlsrule143 · 1 points · Posted at 17:01:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Excellent comment, very entertaining! Haha
bornebackceaslessly · 1 points · Posted at 17:03:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sometimes cheese excitement just distracts people from fully analyzing a situation.
Diet--Coke · 1 points · Posted at 17:45:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cheese affects many of my decisions, unfortunately.
Meow__Bitch · 1 points · Posted at 17:57:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked at a burger joint and you would be surprised how often this happens...
veritableplethora · 1 points · Posted at 18:37:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's nothing wrong with being a literal person. You like Diet Coke, right?
Diet--Coke · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A little too much..
FBI_Florist_Van · 1 points · Posted at 20:22:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It should have "double cheese" as well. I don't see any issue with you thinking this.
optionalQuestion · 1 points · Posted at 22:43:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would've thought they're giving 2 burgers...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:53:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a person who rarely went out to east as a kid , I can empathize your confusion.
watdafug · 1 points · Posted at 23:19:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Double patty burger with cheese
aquawizard · 1 points · Posted at 20:36:43 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brother once ordered a "double cheeseburger with only one patty".
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:05:01 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a pretty easy mistake to make :/
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:10:50 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
WHAT A TWIST
koolajp · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:42 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tbf if you'd never had a double cheese burger before, the name sounds like it could be double cheese (although it should be written down like 'double cheeseburger' to avoid the confusion) .
I love cheese too, don't be ashamed.
AnothrNameAnothrFace · 1 points · Posted at 02:59:42 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you from Wisconsin? Because they are truly some cheese-lovin' fools. On that note, my ex (a Wisconsinite) once overheard a co-worker complaining about being on his feet after a fourteen hour day: Co-worker "Man, my dogs are BARKIN'!" ExGF, super excited "Oh you have puppies!?"
All-Shall-Kneel · 1 points · Posted at 12:17:09 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
with a diet coke?
TaylorS1986 · 1 points · Posted at 23:33:26 on August 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's adorable!
curly123 · 1 points · Posted at 22:59:57 on September 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair they probably doubled the cheese as well.
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:42:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you get a Diet--Coke with it?
Diet--Coke · 4 points · Posted at 08:44:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
¯_(ツ)_/¯
Skateboard_Raptor · 1 points · Posted at 11:19:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
29 days! Well played!
peychop · 0 points · Posted at 11:35:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm still wondering why a cheeseburger has meat in it and not only cheese.
reddivid · 0 points · Posted at 11:42:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a coworker who's been living in North America for at least a decade think it solely contained cheese... takes a bite... vegetarian was very surprised.
suburbiaresident · 2 points · Posted at 12:57:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Obvious bullshit unless this vegetarian was blind
jaemann · 0 points · Posted at 12:36:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's not stupid. That's just not knowing. Stupid is doing it twice.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 18:35:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Diet--Coke · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ಠ_ಠ
nerdface37 · 336 points · Posted at 05:09:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl, at the age of 22, took an electric fan and threw it in a bathtub to clean it. The apartment lit on fire. She was surprised.
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 364 points · Posted at 11:24:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
See, fan death is real!
mortiphago · 20 points · Posted at 19:20:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
of course it is, how do you think Lennon died?
Minky_Dave_the_Giant · 3 points · Posted at 20:55:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy!
wildevidence · 12 points · Posted at 19:47:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
50,000,000 South Koreans can't be wrong.
moosilauke18 · 5 points · Posted at 14:24:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So am I.
TheSixthVisitor · 3 points · Posted at 15:41:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I clean electric fans in the tub as well - have you seen how much dust collects on those things? Though, they're usually unplugged first.
Drakonisch · 3 points · Posted at 02:25:20 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
How did this catch the apartment on fire? If it was plugged in it should have tripped the breaker. If it was battery powered it should have just shorted out without exploding. Are you sure the fire was an accident?
bobstay · 6 points · Posted at 09:47:40 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm guessing OP decided that "the breaker tripped" wasn't an exciting enough ending, so opted to make shit up.
Ascenzi4 · 2 points · Posted at 16:50:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't this how someone in a James Bond was killed?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 22:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honey I'm not blaming you for burning down the apartment building, the fire department is.
phibulous1618 · 1479 points · Posted at 00:33:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This isn't close to the stupidest thing she said, but it's the only thing I can remember. Girl at my high school admitted in class to pouring an entire jug of antifreeze on her windshield to melt the ice.
That ass though...
whitefoot · 355 points · Posted at 03:36:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once told my (at the time) girlfriend that I put oil in my car. She just looked at me puzzled and asked "Oil? Why didn't you just get gas?".
Raincoats_George · 11 points · Posted at 13:11:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Know a girl who ran a brand new car into the ground because, 'what do you mean u need to put oil in it?' but in fairness my friend who is now an engineer also ran a new hybrid car into the ground because, 'I didn't know I had to put gas in it, I thought I could run it off the battery. '
Natanael_L · 3 points · Posted at 10:16:21 on June 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well hybrids can, but not for long. The batteries are small.
Raincoats_George · 3 points · Posted at 19:59:38 on June 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why are you in such an old thread?
Natanael_L · 5 points · Posted at 20:17:15 on June 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It got linked
normalcypolice · 3 points · Posted at 21:27:33 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It did indeed
cobaltgolem987 · 4 points · Posted at 23:58:34 on July 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
It did again today. When will the madness end?
normalcypolice · 3 points · Posted at 00:06:14 on July 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Never.
Jipz · 8 points · Posted at 10:11:40 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fucking Kevin man.
Tapputi · 1 points · Posted at 22:53:10 on August 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
And his whacky hijinks
TheNeikos · 0 points · Posted at 19:34:39 on July 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
Exactly
JasminaChillibeaner · 1 points · Posted at 01:45:23 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And again today!
PotatosAreDelicious · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:57 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You mean he just ran the hybrid car out of gas?
And some plug in hybrids you don't even need to fill with gas as the gas is just a supplemental range thing where the motor acts as a generator.
Shaggyninja · 10 points · Posted at 13:03:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, if she's not a car person she may not know that cars need oil.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also calling petrol or diesel gas is just asking for someone to get confused.
pacocase · 10 points · Posted at 15:26:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You call it petrol, we call it gas. You call it diesel, we call it diesel. Confusing, I know.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:26:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Apart from the whole "it's not actually a gas it's a liquid" thing.
Hedgehogsarepointy · 12 points · Posted at 19:30:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
an abbreviation of gasoline.
burnhaze4days · 3 points · Posted at 17:23:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister thought an oil change was where you pulled out the dipstick and looked at the level. This coming from the girl who didn't know how to work the wiper spray for two years of owning the same car. She used to pull over on the highway and rub snow on the windshield to clean it. Smh.
geekmuseNU · 2 points · Posted at 13:26:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
RIP whitefoot's friend's engine
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:23:30 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
For the longest time I wouldn't have believed this, until my friends started getting cars. I know a girl who can't tell you her mileage, gas tank size, doesn't know how to change her oil or even wiper fluid, doesn't know where her spare, jack, or tire iron are located, doesn't know how to use jumper cables, literally knows nothing about her car except how to work her stereo.
thealphateam · 967 points · Posted at 02:17:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Never stick your dick in crazy, stupid is just fine.
halo00to14 · 58 points · Posted at 08:27:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can stick your dick in crazy (or let crazy stick their dick in you, you know, gotta be inclusive), but only in crazy that you can handle, and if crazy doesn't know where you live. Sadly, most of us over estimate the amount of crazy we can handle and bring them back to our place.
Also, never fight crazy cause crazy always wins.
thealphateam · 9 points · Posted at 11:24:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As they say "never argue with stupid, they just bring you down to their level then best you with experience" same goes for crazy.
cantbrainIhasthedumb · 8 points · Posted at 12:44:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Crazy always knows where you live
draw_it_now · 4 points · Posted at 16:06:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Surround crazy with your vagina"?
luker_man · 5 points · Posted at 18:36:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jam your clam on crazy.
shadow1515 · 2 points · Posted at 17:12:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not if you have Haldol shots on hand.
Youreahugeidiot · 2 points · Posted at 17:24:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But if you murder crazy...
ElderlyPeanut · 27 points · Posted at 05:30:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You couldn't have given me this advice 4 years ago? Asshole!
Emher · 7 points · Posted at 11:39:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also never stick your dick in depressed and needy. Which sounds really shitty to say, but you may be dealing with that depressed and needy way longer than you have the energy for.
el_loco_avs · 5 points · Posted at 14:35:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
also you might be making it worse
Emher · 5 points · Posted at 15:43:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Definitely this as well.
GerhardtDH · 1 points · Posted at 21:46:47 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a depressed guy, who has been for a Lon time, I make sure I'm not sounding needy. If a woman isn't into me enough for sex, because I'm too low energy/boring, well I understand that. I can never tell her that directly or they get suspicious. I have had women show interest again when I'm on an upswing emotionally. This used to bother me in the past, but when I became serious about improving my life these situations almost became comical.
Fuck me or not lady, i am not ashamed to jack off if you don't, basically.
theLoveGiant · 17 points · Posted at 06:12:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I've dated crazy. It ever ends well. Edit: never.
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 10:25:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I married crazy. Divorced crazy. Still having to deal with crazy's shit.
theLoveGiant · 16 points · Posted at 10:30:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You win.... well you um nevermind...
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 12:07:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
FTFY
theLoveGiant · 5 points · Posted at 12:11:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just now noticed my typo because of your post. I've fixed it now you smart ass lol.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:13:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're no fun
AdmiralAtLaw · 0 points · Posted at 11:42:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dating and sticking your dick in are two completely different things.
theLoveGiant · 3 points · Posted at 11:44:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is true but I stick my dick in my dates. So it is very related to me.
Ghede · 6 points · Posted at 14:02:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Never stick your dick in stupid. They might think bathing is birth control.
owlsrule143 · 5 points · Posted at 17:06:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I mean.. Except when they say "I'll deal with the condom, just sit in bed and relax while I go make you some tea ;)" and then proceed to turn the condom inside out and drop the semen in their vagina. Pregnant a couple months later "YAY I'm pregnant :)" you: "WHAT?! WE USED A CONDOM" her: "yeah we did and it worked :) it kinda makes sense to put the sperm in a little container and have me put it in rather than having it shoot out of you into me. I feel like that would hurt if it comes out fast"
I made this whole scenario up just now so to clarify, this didn't actually happen but I'm just saying, sticking your dick in stupid can backfire occasionally.
thealphateam · 0 points · Posted at 17:26:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats crazy and manipulative, not stupid.
owlsrule143 · 3 points · Posted at 17:34:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Read it again, I knew someone would read it wrong as manipulative. The idea was that she thought a condom was used to get pregnant. Not that she said "oh let's make sure I don't get pregnant" and then save the sperm secretly. Read it again.
thealphateam · 3 points · Posted at 20:23:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ya that would be pretty dumb.
clubswithseals · 2 points · Posted at 10:22:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't think it's physically possible for me to stick my dick in anyone but crazies. At first I just figured the recurring theme in my life, crazy crazy crazy gals, was just a coinkidink, but alas it's probably because I'm crazy. But crazy people don't question their sanity... right?
is it all in my head? am I all in my head? alone... alone... alone
EViL-D · 6 points · Posted at 11:07:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Orr,... your dick drives people insane.
you should have that looked at
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 23:33:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've said it before and I'll say it again, just make sure crazy doesn't know where you live
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 04:23:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupid usually makes stupid babies, frequently and easily.
guitarman565 · 1 points · Posted at 21:04:03 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupid is occasionally a good thing. Short term, of course.
Kargal · 1 points · Posted at 05:06:33 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Never stick your dick in crazy. Stupid though? You're free to go!"
vydac · 63 points · Posted at 03:58:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hmm, I've done this before when it gets so cold (Wisconsin) that the normal windshield fluid freezes and you just dump the wiper fluid on your windshield directly to get all the crud and salt off.
Justagreewithme · 109 points · Posted at 04:33:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It wasn't wiper fluid, it was anti-freeze. The stuff in your car radiator. Also lethal to animals should they come across it.
TheRevEv · 16 points · Posted at 07:55:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Antifreeze is either ethylene glycol (the older, green kind) or propalyne glycol (the red kind) and is often used too de ice a lot of things
Iloveeuph · 11 points · Posted at 09:12:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Protip: The cure for ethylene glycol poisoning is binge drinking. The possible alcohol poisoning is a different matter
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 13:34:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
shadow1515 · 4 points · Posted at 17:18:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For anyone curious, what's going on is that both methanol and ethanol are both metabolized by the same enzyme (alcohol dehydrogenase) to formic acid and acetic acid, respectively. Formic acid is not good to have in you, acetic acid is basically vinegar. The idea is to make the concentration of ethanol in your blood a lot higher than that of methanol so ADH is too busy metabolizing ethanol to make any formic acid. Meanwhile the methanol will eventually just pass into your urine.
Whacked_Bear · 4 points · Posted at 12:50:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would just like to note that you can not separate them by color. The color is added by the manufacturer and there is no regulation concerning what color should be used. Some companies color their ethylene glycol red, while other companies color it blue, green, orange, etc.
Neither one should be used as a deicing fluid by regular consumers. It's mainly used to de-ice airplanes.
Source: I work at a place that distributes glycol.
TheRevEv · 1 points · Posted at 17:40:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was just refering to the types of glycol used in automobiles. I'm not sure about regulations, but Ive never seen green propalyne glycol, its usually red, pink, or orange to avoid mixing the types.
Im also not saying it's a good idea to pour antifreeze on a windshield, it's just not as dumb as OP pointed out. Not only is it not real safe for the environment, but it's also expensive.
That being said, a lot of the de-icing spray you can buy for windshields has propalyne glycol as a main ingredient
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:20:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can understand someone calling winter wiper fluid “antifreeze”. Some of them are labelled as “anti-freeze wiper fluid.
It’s not appropriate to call anti-freeze “anti-freeze” either, really. It’s coolant.
TimeTravelMishap · 2 points · Posted at 06:42:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure all brands now have a bitterent in the mix to keep animals from drinking it.
dubyaohohdee · 2 points · Posted at 16:31:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hmm, so I should try it in some mixed drinks?
TimeTravelMishap · 1 points · Posted at 18:29:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The fact that you even have to ask makes me question your manhood. Drink that shit.
extramediumjohn · 1 points · Posted at 09:06:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
JUST AGREE WITH HIM!
JackalopeSix · 1 points · Posted at 20:05:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And they love the taste.
Kilojewl · 0 points · Posted at 07:31:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Extremely toxic and bad for environment
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:21:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not really.
YouhaveovercomeOP · 4 points · Posted at 04:20:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Canadian here. Yep.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:36:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can add rubbing alcohol to your windshield wiper reservoir instead.
vydac · 1 points · Posted at 21:52:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
thanks for the tip!
MGLLN · 8 points · Posted at 04:41:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What was the ass like?
Provlovskee · 6 points · Posted at 06:10:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
asking the important questions, i see.
Hankyman · 0 points · Posted at 18:48:53 on September 14, 2014 · (Permalink)
The ass was fat.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 05:04:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
technically that would work but its greasy as fuck, everything looks like you smeared vaseline on the windshield (i'm a tractor trailer mechanic and guys have put antifreeze instead of washer fluid in a jam thinking it would be fine)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:19:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wouldn't it work if you diluted it?
KilowogTrout · 11 points · Posted at 03:22:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This isn't nuts, but she was in high school and probably didn't know much about cars. I'm a 25 year old guy and I only just learned how to put antifreeze in my car.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:08:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If by “antifreeze” she meant “antifreeze windshield washer fluid”, that’s not all that stupid. If you’re not having any luck chipping the ice away, it’s probably a half-decent idea. Hot water would risk breaking your windshield, and not everybody has easy access to cans of de-icer.
AlwaysClassyNvrGassy · 2 points · Posted at 00:52:37 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seems like stupidity and hotness coexist often in high school. I wonder why that is
alumavirtutem · 2 points · Posted at 20:42:12 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
I still don't really understand what antifreeze is (not that I can't look it up) so I understand this logic...
EgaoNoGenki-XX · 1 points · Posted at 07:33:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What did that do to the windshield? I won't try it; I'll just ask you.
iKickComputers · 1 points · Posted at 09:29:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you gotta respect the logic of it. She's woefully ignorant and undeniably stupid, but... anti-freeze to get rid of the freeze? I've heard far more nonsensical lines of thought.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:33:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hell, her logic was sound... If you think about it... From a I-don't-know-shit-about-cars stance
spartan117au · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She should have tried topping up the headlight fluid.
Whacked_Bear · 1 points · Posted at 12:54:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least it is better than this woman cleaning her windshield with petrol.
letmeusespaces · 1 points · Posted at 13:20:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm going to guess (without knowing much more about the story) that she meant wiper fluid...
slapdashbr · 1 points · Posted at 13:57:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
to be fair, that would work, it's just really wasteful. But hey it's probably her daddy's antifreeze, right?
naughtydreams · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
dat ass doe...
Captian_Cocksmith · 1 points · Posted at 15:02:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to work at an auto shop and someone brought in their car because "low coolant" light was on. Sure enough she put it all into the windshield washer reservoir and not in the radiator.
In her defense the washing fluid cap did look like a reasonable place to put it.
YYHBHH · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy who put antifreeze in his washer fluid reservoir during winter because he thought that it would work ...
thatlonelyasianguy · 1 points · Posted at 22:37:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
remind her to top off her blinker fluids too.
Hime_Takamura · 1 points · Posted at 05:58:41 on May 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, I mean when you see the name "antifreeze" and you don't know anything about cars, I can see how you could assume antifreeze is to counter freezing.
Nueraman1997 · 1 points · Posted at 03:08:26 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least it makes sense.
saxfanatic · 0 points · Posted at 04:24:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When your windshield sprayer is frozen shut you wished you thought of doing this
Banzai502 · 667 points · Posted at 23:23:56 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably a girl from my high school history class...
Two classic quotes of hers are "Where was the Berlin Wall, Sir?" and "Did hitler not like Jews?".
amuseyourselftodeath · 148 points · Posted at 01:47:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In twelfth grade someone in my class asked where Narnia was.
They were being 100% serious.
TOM_BOMBADICK · 233 points · Posted at 02:09:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Same place as Tom Cruise
BadgersForChange · 3 points · Posted at 05:50:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Behind the coats?
world_crusher · 1 points · Posted at 22:25:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In the closet?
ProfessorCordonnier · 1 points · Posted at 09:58:34 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Tom Cruise will not come out of the wardrobe!"
xereeto · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:36 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
The wardrobe?
DucksGoQuackQuack · 2 points · Posted at 04:08:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tom Cruise
firemaster · 2 points · Posted at 05:15:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tom Cruise
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 05:42:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
DAE Tom Cruise, Colby & Borken Arms? xDDD
Kakkuonhyvaa · 5 points · Posted at 16:08:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This. I fucking hate the Tom Cruise circlejerk.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 13:27:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The burn ward?
252afh · 0 points · Posted at 13:46:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
REKT
Crazylittleloon · -1 points · Posted at 12:27:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In the closet?
Incognigro · -1 points · Posted at 16:07:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
in the closet????
McFrenchtoast · -2 points · Posted at 07:43:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha
wasntit · 3 points · Posted at 10:35:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, I have one that could make this thread. I read your comment and was sure that 'twelfth' was not a word, it just looked wrong and I have never spelled it out before.
amuseyourselftodeath · 2 points · Posted at 19:30:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHA thank you for that.
Valorale · 524 points · Posted at 23:37:58 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Reminds me that one girl years back in high school who just wouldnt shut up.
Best moment was when there was a pause and the teacher says in a calm voice "Why is it that those who know the least always talk the most"
112233445566778899 · 16 points · Posted at 08:00:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had a substitute teacher that would constantly remind my friend Logan, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
DolphinSweater · 3 points · Posted at 14:37:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mark Twain said that too.
PuddingInferno · 11 points · Posted at 22:48:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He probably stole it from the sub, though.
tyobama · 92 points · Posted at 01:20:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Deep throat is known for its miracles.
SHSzilla · 3 points · Posted at 10:30:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, totally. Really helped out with that whole Watergate deal.
snappypancakes · 8 points · Posted at 11:45:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We have a saying in Great Britain: empty vessels make the most noise.
Kaos_pro · 5 points · Posted at 09:19:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because the ones who know the most are the ones who are listening and not talking.
krokodilchik · 5 points · Posted at 23:19:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, jeez, every class had one of those. Covering rations and food shortages during WWI in grade 10 history, girl says "well of course they couldn't get milk, cows weren't invented yet!" When the tentative titters begin, she looks around and says, "wait, evolved, they hadn't evolved yet, you assholes!"
Same class a dude's video suddenly cut to him trying to burn his foot with a lighter...just for shits and giggles, I guess.
jaeskye · 2 points · Posted at 19:23:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Empty wagons make a lot of noise." said every teacher I've had til high school
Super_Cyan · 304 points · Posted at 00:24:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew one that said "What if the sun, is like, not even there?"
[deleted] · 431 points · Posted at 02:12:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
barkjon · 20 points · Posted at 04:48:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How Can The Sun Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
HunterHunted77 · 4 points · Posted at 06:38:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How can potatoes be real if the irish aren't real
unholymackerel · 1 points · Posted at 06:49:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only sadness is real.
Latyon · 2 points · Posted at 10:11:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
C'est la vie.
drewzee91 · 1 points · Posted at 17:25:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Billybilly_B · 1 points · Posted at 21:07:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What If The Sun Is Like, Not Even There?
UsuallyInappropriate · 0 points · Posted at 10:02:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Improper Capitalization Intensifies
aclose78 · 0 points · Posted at 08:44:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How can sunlight be real if the sun isn't real?
notthepapa · 12 points · Posted at 00:56:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats actually quite phylosophical.
ElCazador528491 · 10 points · Posted at 03:21:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Philosophical
FTFY
notthepapa · 1 points · Posted at 00:30:44 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha yeah thanks. I'm foreign so I'm forgiven I assume.
ElCazador528491 · 2 points · Posted at 01:39:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha no worries man! We all make mistakes, especially in other languages
DrNick2012 · 2 points · Posted at 07:23:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We'll if it had vanished recently enough that the light had not yet reached earth then she would have been onto something.
thesplendor · 2 points · Posted at 12:29:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What if humans are like always high and weed just makes us normal.
im_in_the_safe · 2 points · Posted at 13:48:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
it might not be. We'll find out in 8 minutes.
Kilojewl · 1 points · Posted at 07:35:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can take you to the sun so you can see for yourself that it does exist.. We'll have to go at night though, It'd be cooler.
reallydumb4real · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[10]
blakkattika · 1 points · Posted at 15:26:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, that's pretty possible for every other star in our sky, sooo....
jmerridew124 · 1 points · Posted at 18:44:40 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
A good science teacher sees this as a massive opportunity.
Numbnuts50 · 1 points · Posted at 05:08:53 on May 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Then like look up at the bright thing in the sky at around noon-1 pm.
schbre16 · 240 points · Posted at 00:55:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl like that too. We were on the subject of WWII, talking about weird tactics each sided used, one of them was strapping dogs with bombs to send under a tank to blow it up. After the discussion we heard "did the dogs die?". Everybody in the class facepamled.
xplodingpeep · 194 points · Posted at 08:28:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"No, they did not die, the force of the bombs sent them into space, where they landed on the moon. They now live on the moon, eating moon cheese all day, which gives them all gas, which is why no one has gone there since."
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 15:51:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Really?
xplodingpeep · 3 points · Posted at 18:40:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sorry, once the idea struck me I had to write it down.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:42:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not even mad that's amazing
xplodingpeep · 3 points · Posted at 19:49:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
what I can't figure out is why anyone upvoted it. I just thought, how would I explain this so the girl would figure out how stupid it was on her own? And that is what I came up with.
watdafug · 3 points · Posted at 23:23:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
thought it sent them to Pluto
xplodingpeep · 1 points · Posted at 01:09:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's just as well that it didn't I mean, what would happen to them now that it isnt' a planet any more?
jonnywoh · 1 points · Posted at 03:13:03 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No dummy, it's not a planet anymore.
TheHoma · 3 points · Posted at 02:55:03 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Edmund the moon bear was the test subject.
xplodingpeep · 1 points · Posted at 06:19:35 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
this must be the stupidest comment I have made in a while. I'm not sure how people are still finding it.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:40:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So the atmosphere of the moon is becoming methane? We have a new Neptune thanks to dog farts!
xplodingpeep · 3 points · Posted at 18:42:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just one more tragedy caused by the Nazis.
Isiwje · 1 points · Posted at 18:43:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Atmosphere of the moon?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:43 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
The moon has an atmosphere. Look it up. It's negligible but it does exist.
Isiwje · 2 points · Posted at 19:43:29 on March 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
"For most practical purposes, the Moon is considered to be surrounded by vacuum."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:20:58 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do I sound like a practical person to you?
ohjohn3 · 1 points · Posted at 01:07:52 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
This subject could be the basis of a thesis paper.
xplodingpeep · 1 points · Posted at 06:22:51 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
how did you even find this comment when it is over a month old?!? Also, it is too awesome to be a thesis. But it would make a great thesis if it wasn't.
ChiaLetranger · 1 points · Posted at 13:30:42 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Lost pets. Found pets. A lost pet colony on the moon."
xplodingpeep · 1 points · Posted at 18:58:58 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
HOW DO PEOPLE KEEP SEEING THIS?!?! No, really, I keep getting replies to this, and I have no idea how. How did you find this?
ChiaLetranger · 1 points · Posted at 00:48:30 on June 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, it was linked in another thread "What's the last thing that made you laugh so hard you cried?" or something. I'll look for a link back if you want?
xplodingpeep · 1 points · Posted at 06:47:36 on June 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had no idea that had been reposted any where. Yes, I would love to see that! I just thought it was the stupidest thing I had written in a very long time.
ChiaLetranger · 1 points · Posted at 09:53:42 on June 2, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/26w32y/what_was_the_last_thing_that_had_you_in_tears/
sort by best, there you go, top comment.
Mark_That · 5 points · Posted at 08:34:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe the dogs planted C4 on the bottom of the tanks and ran away.
Inkompetent · 7 points · Posted at 09:54:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But can the dogs hold the 'E'-key long enough with their big, keyboard-mashing paws?
NOT_THE_RIGHT_GUY · 16 points · Posted at 03:12:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had one in my history class. Talking about the origin of Christianity, she asked: "You keep referring to it as the New Testament... does that mean that there's an Old Testament??"
Scarred_Ballsack · 6 points · Posted at 12:43:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, that's actually a pretty legitimate question for someone who doesn't know. If she wasn't raised as a Christian, why would she know? In my history class we never discussed the different parts of the bible, we mostly talked about the influence that the Catholic church had over the world, the thousands of people that were burned as witches, and why (among other reasons) that compelled the Dutch to embrace the reformation and break away from the Spanish empire.
There's a difference between lack of knowledge and stupidity. Many people forget that.
stoned_hobo · 3 points · Posted at 12:14:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she wasn't raised Christian?
Jyohman48 · 1 points · Posted at 13:31:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl in my history class ask if refrigerators were cold back in the 1920's.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:04:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Russians did that. But the dogs where allright though, they where sent to a nice farm with nice people in another province.
Kachkaval · 2 points · Posted at 05:53:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was that the tactic the Germans used, then their dogs would blow up German tanks, because that's what they practiced with?
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 12:05:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Russians did it. But yeah it didn't always work as planned.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:46:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still more effective than incendiary pigs.
Inkompetent · 4 points · Posted at 09:54:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Best weapon ever used in the history of mankind.
aplwrx · 2 points · Posted at 11:17:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe it was the soviets who encountered this issue.
demostravius · 1 points · Posted at 21:46:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wasn't that just a myth?
LiftsFrontWheel · 1 points · Posted at 12:11:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, it was drumroll the soviets!
Thatkidsav · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No the Russians did it and It would blow up Russian tanks because the Germans used diesel
schbre16 · 1 points · Posted at 22:49:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dont know. Sorry we never really got in depth with the conversation after her remark.
Scenter101 · 1 points · Posted at 12:36:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
IIRC they were trained to take off the bomb somehow and run back.
DownWithTheShip · 1 points · Posted at 22:49:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Any dog with more than one tank kill deserves a medal.
En0ch_Root · 1 points · Posted at 20:06:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually a lot of the dogs freaked out and ran back to their German handlers, then they blew up.
Time_of_Adventure · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:38 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I remember watching a documentary about weird warfare in WWII and they mentioned this.
There were two designs that I remember. Also training dogs costs time and money do they probably would want them to survive.
The dog had a little lever thing sticking up on it's back and when the dog walked under the tank it would disengage the backpack holding the explosives and set of a fuse so the dog could escape.
The dog would be trained to pull a cord that would drop the backpack and light the fuse.
The problem was the Russians used their own tanks to train the dogs which used deisel while the German tanks used gasoline. So the dogs would only look for tanks smelling of deisel.
Some of this may be wrong though because I watched the documentary a long time ago.
EchoandtheBunnym3n · 1 points · Posted at 19:33:51 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well the dog could have a quick release latch around the bomb and the bomb be one of those magnet bombs I heard being used in WWII. So the dog runs underneath the tank, magnet attaches to the tank, harness releases from dog, dog runs away.
Would definitely be cheaper to just let the dog die, but you know, the technology was there
shagmyballs · 114 points · Posted at 23:59:04 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one girl (Grade 12) could not add up 45 and 10.
Xiattr · 219 points · Posted at 01:56:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
five plus five plus five plus five is ...schfifty. Schfifty-five. (That girl's IQ--Schfifty five.)
sumthingdarkside · 10 points · Posted at 05:35:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
schfourteen-teen
Obsidianmonster · 9 points · Posted at 12:57:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shwiggity shwam shfifty five. I love that song/video.
Hichann · 1 points · Posted at 01:58:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What video?
DucksGoQuackQuack · 13 points · Posted at 04:07:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Un. Deux. Deux and heif. Sheven. Sheventeen.
cantbrainIhasthedumb · 6 points · Posted at 12:57:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shiggity schwo
Totesnotatwork · 5 points · Posted at 12:11:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
10, 10, 10, 20 equals 50, bitch!
Math math city, bitch!
DJP0N3 · 4 points · Posted at 15:22:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girlfriend's age: schfifty-faif.
caboose1984 · 2 points · Posted at 17:18:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Schwiggidy schwah
MrBiscuitify · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like she was French.
Kwindecent_exposure · -2 points · Posted at 12:07:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
fucking WIN.
Banzai502 · 12 points · Posted at 00:01:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's easy, 65! Right?...
insanecrazy4 · 21 points · Posted at 00:36:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
69!
NSA_Agent_Kel · 22 points · Posted at 01:36:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The square root of that is 8 something, right?
AlonsoFerrari8 · 1 points · Posted at 04:44:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What is this from again?
NSA_Agent_Kel · 1 points · Posted at 00:52:49 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Drake says it in a song with Rihanna
AlonsoFerrari8 · 1 points · Posted at 02:35:37 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're just responding to this?
NSA_Agent_Kel · 2 points · Posted at 21:00:02 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Budget cuts are tough to deal with
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:51:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
cuz i been tryna work it out aoooywwwhhhh
squirtgunheadphones · 1 points · Posted at 05:55:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i've been trying to figure that out all night
OG-Snoopy · 1 points · Posted at 02:28:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha, ate something like dick or vagina!
Banzai502 · 2 points · Posted at 18:34:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Epic guitar solo
LegendaryGinger · 1 points · Posted at 04:59:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a little to big.
halo00to14 · 1 points · Posted at 08:37:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
1.711x1098
xereeto · 1 points · Posted at 16:45:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
1.71122452 x 1098
That's a bit big.
throwaway_lmkg · 1 points · Posted at 05:55:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shinty-six. As in the popular phrse, "I only have shinty-six days left to live."
koalafiediswear · 1 points · Posted at 06:32:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a woman with a Master's degree that messed up 4-2, as well as 1.5-1 (incidentally, both answers ended up being 1.25...)
I wish I were kidding.
mrpanadabear · 1 points · Posted at 12:05:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This makes me sad actually. I used to tutor in a not so great neighborhood and I was working with a sixth grader doing single digit addition. She was a sweet, shy, girl, but had really been failed by everyone else around her.
Schnutzel · 1 points · Posted at 15:40:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she had dyscalculia. It's like dyslexia, but for basic math. People who have can't do simple things like adding numbers or finding out which of two numbers is bigger.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:29:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a high school teacher, this is more (frighteningly) common that you'd think. Being a first year teacher, I feel I'm still going through the shock of being desensitized to how far kids can make it in school with so little knowledge. Had to explain to my science class of SENIORS which of these: <, >, is less than and greater than. They just about lost their minds when I expected them to be able to convert between centimeters and meters on an assignment without explicitly teaching them how to do that. I'm afraid I'm going to start thinking my expectations are unreasonable.
Gustenpunkt · 1 points · Posted at 21:20:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think I've heard of something like dyslexia but with numbers instead of letters, it could maybe be something like that?
longjia97 · 0 points · Posted at 15:35:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The answer is 55.... it's simple elementary school math. How the rest of the people here took it to ridiculous heights is something that worries me.
_aladynevertells_ · 53 points · Posted at 01:09:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
hahaha there's a girl like that in every high school history class. Ours was a stripper for awhile, now she models. Sweet and beautiful girl, though. Just dumb as can be.
theghostofbillcosby · 1 points · Posted at 03:11:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Who is she? Has she done any high end modeling?
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 03:11:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not that I know of. Haven't talked to her in years.
bethlookner · 4 points · Posted at 01:32:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a reddit comment a while back saying that there was not much to do in Germany between East and West Berlin.I took it to mean that East and West Berlin were on opposite sides of the country. I just couldn't.
HorseIsKing · 2 points · Posted at 04:07:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair I was recently watching the movie '28 days later' and in a momentary lapse asked the question: "How long after the break out is this film set?"
Karex22 · 2 points · Posted at 07:31:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had one in Classics: "So Athens is the capital city of Rome, right?"
TheAdamantArchvile · 2 points · Posted at 07:32:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of the one time my little sister asked me "How do you spell PBS?' Granted, she was 5 at the time, but still. I will never let here live it down.
shareitwithme · 2 points · Posted at 18:12:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
History class always bring out the dumb questions. We had a girl ask that question too. But the one that really sticks was "How come slaves didn't just stop having babies. Then there wouldn't of been anymore slaves."
EchoandtheBunnym3n · 2 points · Posted at 19:30:04 on July 19, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know what I really want to know? They always talk about the Berlin Wall, but what about the border between east and west Germany during that time? Was that also a wall, or something like the dmt in Korea?
Antrix32 · 1 points · Posted at 03:03:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Did Hitler not like Jews"
Was she actually uninformed of Hitlers anti semitic remarks/actions?
I've heard people ask if he actually hated Jewish people or if he just used them as a scapegoat, that seems like a reasonable question.
cdoublejj · 1 points · Posted at 05:15:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey stupid/ignorant or not at least she was asking questions.
well at least you're trying to learn
"yeah! I got an "E" for effort"
what?
Wonky_dialup · 1 points · Posted at 06:40:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh HUN! You have no idea! that sparse moustache men loved them soooooo much all the jews know him! You should walk right up and talk to them about the lovely fellow!
I'm a bad man that likes seeing how gullible people get.
FireTigerThrowdown · 1 points · Posted at 09:27:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know someone who asked, in class, if Hitler was racist. It was me. I was 6.
BegbertBiggs · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me about my history teacher raging because somebody wrote "Hitler didn't like the jews very much" in an exam.
Jhat316 · 1 points · Posted at 12:05:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd give them benefit of the doubt when living in a country where New York City and New York the state are in the same place but Washington DC and Washington the state are practically opposite.
As for the hitler question, a fair bit stupider but to could have been purely a political ploy and hitler didn't have an opinion on them either way, but don't take my word on it.
HerrTony · 1 points · Posted at 00:22:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
she might have asked, where in Berlin does the wall separate the east and the west?
greenbabyshit · -6 points · Posted at 01:23:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And Hitler never said he didn't like the jews, just that they were an abomination. He may have liked them just fine, but he knew that god wanted them to be exterminated.
MovieFanatic97 · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a friend who asked me if Hitler was a Jew, I didn't know how to respond...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:37:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
MovieFanatic97 · 1 points · Posted at 14:45:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well that didn't quite pop to mind as soon as it should've had haha.
alwayswhimsical · 1 points · Posted at 01:20:49 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, that was a popular rumor that was going around. A lot of people believed that Alois, Hitler's grandfather could have been Jewish. There is also a rumor that Hitler was in love with a Jewish woman. Source: http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Holocaust/hitlerjew.html
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 12:33:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, the second question can be interesting. Hitler coulds have chosen a different minority (potentially) for his national scapegoat.
funderthuck · 43 points · Posted at 04:48:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommate's boyfriend. He spent the better portion of dinner/movie stating how food has too much preservatives in it anymore, and that's why there are trees that have been petrified.
Petrified trees, because of preservatives in food.
Also, you can't eat "Bucky Balls" (or any magnet in general) because your body works off of electrical currents, and if you ate a magnet, it could disrupt them.
She was also pretty dumb, spent an entire night sobbing about being pregnant, gets an abortion, and then makes a point to call out people on facebook for discussing the topic, saying things like "I could never do that to an unborn child, every child is a gift" (when that whole brainless kid fiasco was happening on facebook a few years back)
I don't miss either of them.
ParadoxInABox · 9 points · Posted at 17:53:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's a saying, "Abortion is wrong, unless I need one." I've heard that a few too many times.
funderthuck · 9 points · Posted at 18:02:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It just boils my blood - the amount of hypocrisy she shat out her mouth all the time. That was definitely the pinnacle of it though. I thought about saying something on the facebook when it happened, but that would have just been wrong of me. But damn, I really wanted to.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 16:10:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For anyone wondering, don't eat magnets, especially the strong ones. They can end up pinching your intestines/whatever and then you need to get them surgically removed.
Williekins · 5 points · Posted at 01:43:20 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What if you only eat one?
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 08:58:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're probably safe as long as you try to avoid snacking on any ferrous metals for the next couple days...
bertlayton · 7 points · Posted at 05:35:25 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn I was confused for a second. Bucky Balls are also a nickname for buckminsterfullerene, a soccer ball shaped form of carbon.
SnipeyMcSnipe · 257 points · Posted at 00:02:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A co-worker of my dad's, whom I've met a few times. She was a middle aged woman and she believed that there were huge black lines on the ground separating each of the states in the US. You know how they show the state borders on political maps? Yeah, she thought those were really there.
sudsymonchik · 15 points · Posted at 07:37:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well the one between Canada and the US is there, and we all know Canada is a state
berlinerbolle · 13 points · Posted at 12:01:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I remember correctly, this was in a movie, too. I think "Battlefield Earth", when the protagonists capture a shuttle and are using old maps of earth to try and find where they need to go. They were wondering where all the lines were that were clearly visible on the maps...
Relly bad movie btw.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 16:54:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's hilarious.
GeorgeofJungleton · 7 points · Posted at 02:48:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man she has got to go see the equator, Giant red dotted line as wide as cities!
TheNoodlyOne · 5 points · Posted at 11:24:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I kinda think it would be nice if there were.
VigilantInfidel · 4 points · Posted at 13:52:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've always wished there were giant black lines like that.
mrpanadabear · 5 points · Posted at 12:10:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Until recently, I thought the lines on football fields to mark the downs were projected onto the field. I felt so dumb after someone explained it to me.
af2045 · 2 points · Posted at 16:33:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At last you were embarrassed haha. I think that shows intelligence.
stripmallbars · 3 points · Posted at 17:25:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They are! They're just 14 miles wide.
blehonce · 2 points · Posted at 05:56:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
did she call them 'interstate highways'? i would.
Vasconium · 2 points · Posted at 12:13:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When i was six, i used to think that the state names were placed there in real life.
DJP0N3 · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I live on the border between PA and NJ. For the uninitiated, that border is the Delaware river (of George Washington crossing fame). Until I was like 7 or 8, I thought all state borders were rivers. It was so weird how all the rivers out west were so straight!
Phoenix64329 · 2 points · Posted at 16:59:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I mean... I thought this when I was five, but only for about a day because common sense kicked in..
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:30:11 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Common sense at 5 ? Most likely you asked your parents and wished they were wrong.
SithLord13 · 2 points · Posted at 18:40:42 on July 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Frankly, I'm still kinda surprised there's not, at least when there's not a river or other landmark. Borders should be clearly defined.
the_Ground_ · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And states are different colors too, right?
alumavirtutem · 1 points · Posted at 20:54:15 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is amazing.
zackhankins74 · 1311 points · Posted at 00:17:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex roommate's boyfriend. He was 22, he actually idolized Bieber, One Direction, etc., and did everything he could to be like them. He was also homophobic, probably gay because he often wore his girlfriend's clothes from forever 21, and refused to get a job because "the band is totally gonna make it!". He also pushed his girlfriend down a set of stairs, and was so in love with himself that he took mirror selfies, posted them on his facebook, then sent them to his facebook page that he made for himself. Absolutely the worst person I've ever met.
To make sure he didn't come to the house, I actually convinced him that our building was built on an ancient Indian burial ground and that strange things did happen from time to time. He never came back.
greenbabyshit · 1525 points · Posted at 01:30:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I like how "pushed her down the stairs" is slid in there like he left dirty plates on the counter.
what-a-doric · 342 points · Posted at 03:08:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
stabbed that bitch in the eye and then left the fucking tap on, just dripping. we are living in a fucking wasteland and he leaves the tap on like a fucking animal... What a dick
[deleted] · 361 points · Posted at 02:09:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I like how "he left dirty plates on the counter" is slid in there like he pushed her down the stairs.
JewishMotherSyndrome · 58 points · Posted at 04:09:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
slow clap
civilian11214 · 12 points · Posted at 06:58:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is that worse than the regular clap? Does it itch more?
EgaoNoGenki-XX · 3 points · Posted at 07:33:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What IS (your username?)
I'm 1/4 that.
JewishMotherSyndrome · 3 points · Posted at 03:17:54 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
it is a syndrome in which the Jewish mothers are extremely overbearing and micromanage everything. Almost all of them have it, alas, we have JewishMotherSyndrome
Provlovskee · 2 points · Posted at 06:09:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
case closed.
tr4zz · 1 points · Posted at 06:54:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I laughed so hard, an upvote for you
kornberg · 2 points · Posted at 16:58:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, they are both heinous crimes against humanity.
zackhankins74 · 3 points · Posted at 04:37:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
haha i know but that was awhile ago and it came to mind while I was remembering all of the stupid, horrible things he's done
TheOneBlueLemon · 2 points · Posted at 11:00:16 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
"...So I stabbed the fucker and took his mints."
UrNameIsToby · 1 points · Posted at 08:36:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be honest, I'd rather he push her down her stairs than leave dirty plates on my counter.
rahtin · -3 points · Posted at 04:24:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She was probably asking for it.
yallwhoknow · 8 points · Posted at 08:26:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wat
zackhankins74 · 3 points · Posted at 16:04:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah. I don't know how anyone could be so obsessed with themselves like that
I_Love_Bacon_Cookies · 35 points · Posted at 08:58:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Took NINE FUCKING POSTS before I found a story about a guy. Jesus Christ, people.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 06:26:32 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
But Kevin...
Black_Metal · 6 points · Posted at 12:44:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How is that anyone's fault though?
ItsGotToMakeSense · 15 points · Posted at 13:55:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Upvoting all the stupid girl stories because that's what they wanted to read.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 14:38:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also, people seem to remember more stupid girl stories. In my life I see retardedness in equal measure.
When it comes to actual IQ, men show greater variation. More men have genius level IQ but also more men have retarded level IQ.
horrorshowmalchick · 11 points · Posted at 13:20:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wearing girls clothes doesn't make you gay. That ignorant, brah.
commandakeen · 2 points · Posted at 22:08:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah dude dont be an ignorant bra!
LegendaryGinger · 3 points · Posted at 04:58:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's just a confused boy who needs to read a good book.
cg91 · 3 points · Posted at 13:36:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He can't be gay, he has a girlfriend!
zackhankins74 · 6 points · Posted at 16:03:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They never had sex, she'd often tell me and the other roommates that
Freakears · 3 points · Posted at 16:19:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope she dumped his ass after the stair incident, if nothing else.
zackhankins74 · 3 points · Posted at 16:20:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, they stayed together for at least another year. They broke up when he moved to LA with his boy band. Worst couple ever
FBI_Florist_Van · 3 points · Posted at 20:25:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"probably gay."
JackTheJill · 3 points · Posted at 04:39:08 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kudos for your strategy.
I would have taken it to another level though (as you know, hindsight is easy for reddit).
I would have beaten the shit out him every single day, while shouting "An Ancient Indian Is Making Me Do This!!!...you know because the burial ground thing".
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:54:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was she pregnant?
zackhankins74 · 2 points · Posted at 16:04:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, they were just drunk
I_hate_alot_a_lot · 1 points · Posted at 12:25:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow I think this person had a mental illness or two.
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 14:22:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wouldn't call this the Dumbest person ever. Just a Homophobic, Homesexual, narcassisitic asshole.
Kakkuonhyvaa · -1 points · Posted at 15:01:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Homesexual... Dumbest person there ever has been or kjtest21. Seems pretty identical to me.
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ooh i missed a letter, I must be so stupid. I could also criticize you on the use of "..." because you must be stupid for using it improperly. Or your terrible sentance structure. Don't be a dick, how about that?
Kakkuonhyvaa · 0 points · Posted at 15:53:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How about you trying to not be a dick? It's probably impossible though.
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably. But is it possible to be impossible? That's the real question here.
angsty15yearold · 1 points · Posted at 00:05:59 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wearing girls clothes doesn't mean you're gay. It means you cross dress.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:02:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah usually homophobic people are secretly gay. i've had sex with several of the "everybody must know i'm a homophobe" types of homophobes. (some people are homophobic because of media portrayal and lack of exposure which is harmless and usually they come around)
Latyon · 2 points · Posted at 10:09:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And they usually fuck like tigers ;) all that pent up tension, y'know.
LEDROC · -1 points · Posted at 13:06:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't think that describes him as being one of the dumbest people you know.
RhemPEvans · 1489 points · Posted at 00:30:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Katy Perry once shopped the Whole Foods Market I manage.....she wouldn't let my cashier's hand touch her food. The personal assistant proceeded to take my cashier's spot, insisting Katy may get sick from worker contact.
That's pretty dumb.
Edit: For the record, this sort of thing is pretty common. Katy may have been weirder than most, but famous people get strange about plebeian contact.
Edit 2: I want to be very clear about something. She wasn't being a bitch about the check out situation, just making a celeb request. Iike I said, this happens all the time. I'm not posting this to paint her as a monster, just a bit dense.
sellyberry · 234 points · Posted at 02:03:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Who do they think pick, package, ship, and put one display that same food?
WHAT_IS_SHAME · 59 points · Posted at 04:14:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she wanted to gain a better appreciation for the things around her, so she went to the farms to plant, harvest, clean, package and then to the store to purchase and check out without anyone but her assistant's help, and the cashier was getting in the way of her dream.
Or maybe she was just being a prick.. I'm not here to judge.
DEEZ_NUTS_YO · 7 points · Posted at 20:02:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Katy's network of assistants.
BadgersForChange · 3 points · Posted at 05:53:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Her personal assistant.
EltonJuan · 923 points · Posted at 01:22:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know if that makes her dumb, necessarily, but that sort of action is really obnoxious, self-important, pompous and plenty of other negative adjectives that come to mind.
[deleted] · 659 points · Posted at 02:05:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah it's pretty dumb, where does she think this food comes from, how was it packed out of the shelf, and also a lot of germs and shit are killed during the cooking process anyway.
Epicghostrider · 11 points · Posted at 13:16:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah, exactly part ends at 22 seconds.
dsjunior1388 · 178 points · Posted at 01:42:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or she gets death threats...Yeah, I guarantee she gets death threats.
feldamis · 95 points · Posted at 02:11:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
From her video dark horse. Oooooh the Muslims are pretty mad bro.
Big_elks · 433 points · Posted at 04:47:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm Muslim and I'm always mad. That's what the media keeps telling me anyway.
BadgersForChange · 296 points · Posted at 05:52:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should take a vacation. Maybe fly some place nice. I hear there's lots to see in New York City.
Blaze17145 · 31 points · Posted at 07:14:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not anymore.
Black_Metal · 9 points · Posted at 12:19:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What happened?!
Amaterasu-omikami · 9 points · Posted at 12:50:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tourists are now required to wear blindfolds.
TheBuccaneer · 1 points · Posted at 21:17:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Too soon
Frunzle · 12 points · Posted at 11:10:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
And when he's flying there, he should talk to his friend in Arabic about how he crashed his brand new Porsche 911, and how he learned to count down to zero in English.
Provlovskee · 25 points · Posted at 06:07:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reservoir_cat · 4 points · Posted at 10:24:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
NYC is the bomb!
DanabluMonkey · 0 points · Posted at 12:01:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Too soon?
I_Am_Math_Boy · 6 points · Posted at 12:53:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's been 12 years.
boberino0 · -1 points · Posted at 09:45:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
2 soon
Drando_HS · 2 points · Posted at 12:36:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, propaganda.
Tartantyco · 3 points · Posted at 08:57:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
y u 9/11?
CanadianJogger · 1 points · Posted at 12:36:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just fake it till you make it. :P
dontneeddota2 · 1 points · Posted at 13:14:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Were you surprised to hear how much you hate everyone else?
Orange_Jeews · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
have a snickers
Mish106 · 0 points · Posted at 09:39:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why?
ssjkriccolo · 1 points · Posted at 12:11:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's his secret. He's always Muslim.
LegendaryGinger · -1 points · Posted at 04:55:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's the deal with the base in that video? It's ridiculous! I love it
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 14:27:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
With an attitude like she displayed there, she’s kinda asking for them.
dsjunior1388 · 0 points · Posted at 14:44:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is she deserving of death threats because she's careful about her food? Or is she careful about her food because she gets death threats? I'd lean towards the second one. She trusts her manager to not murder her, but not some person she just met. Because some person she never met told her he wanted to kill her.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 14:49:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You have no idea what it's actually like being a public person, do you?
dsjunior1388 · 0 points · Posted at 14:54:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm just acknowledging that maybe she's being careful, not bitchy, and maybe her anxieties have som merit.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:36:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm so offended by it that I'm not even gonna fap to her today. She's going in the spank bank penalty box for at least 48 hours.
MikhailTheIV · 2 points · Posted at 21:39:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm offended, but not THAT offended
Creature_73L · 3 points · Posted at 07:51:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Idk. seeing how millions ride on her ability to perform. Sounds like paranoia of catching a cold.
macnbloo · 1 points · Posted at 17:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
maybe, OP was visibly dirty that day, and had a giant booger hanging off to one side of their lip.
Neato_Queen · 0 points · Posted at 06:51:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Were there paperazzi around? She might've been going for the no-such-thing-as-bad-press-I'm-quirky-as-fuck approach.
comedic-meltdown · 1 points · Posted at 11:33:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's not "I'm cute and quirky!", that's "I'm better than you, don't touch my food."
Hachibeechu · -1 points · Posted at 19:51:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I made all my money off of grueling live music performance schedules in a profession where your worth is based on your glowing looks and pipes, and lived in a place where people actively fought to take pictures of any weakness I may possess or encounter to sell to the minds of millions in a daily attempt to disgrace me because trash sells better than truth... I may be a little fucked up about germs and owing people a humble nature every second of the day.
I don't really mind Katy Perry as an anything and I feel bad for people who do, negative or positive. She's just a person operating her life with different issues and I generally hear pleasantly ordinary things about her as a celebrity, if anything at all. Might be my experience and nothing more but until I'm positive that she's a bad person on her own merit, simply having enough money to be more noticeably weird shouldn't be an auto deterrent.
sconnie64 · 15 points · Posted at 03:58:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she just has OCD, like Howie Mandel, but not open about it.
[deleted] · 294 points · Posted at 03:55:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd still fuck her
[deleted] · 300 points · Posted at 08:06:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not with that pleb dick.
TotallyNotAnIdiot · 14 points · Posted at 15:30:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is the assistant going to stand in for that too?
Totes_ma_goats · 4 points · Posted at 19:35:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She would just make her personal assistant handle it....
DuncanGilbert · 6 points · Posted at 08:42:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dont think that was ever off the table
Raincoats_George · 2 points · Posted at 13:22:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You ever see her without the makeup. I swear she goes from an 8 to a 5.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 15:48:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd still fuck her
Umbos · 0 points · Posted at 07:34:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Just fuck ZD, she looks practically identical and might not be such a bitch.
Edit: type of person, not type of tree.
tillthebill · 8 points · Posted at 10:43:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I love how casual you are about: "Nah bro, don't fuck celebrity A. Fuck celebrity B." like it's no biggie.
MikhailTheIV · 3 points · Posted at 08:53:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But... Boobs
GrizzlyBCanada · 2 points · Posted at 09:35:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck it I'll say it. Boobs are overrated when your face is that nice.
thats0K · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ZD?
Umbos · 8 points · Posted at 10:55:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Zooey Deschanel... I think that's how you spell her last name. Incidentally, that's a strange way of spelling 'zoe' isn't it?
thats0K · 3 points · Posted at 17:42:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks. Yes it is.
Capatown · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She is a stuck up bitch, I want me a hoe!
llBoonell · 1 points · Posted at 08:18:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Admittedly, a lot of people still would.
Hanzitheninja · 1 points · Posted at 09:14:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, yeah.
clubswithseals · 1 points · Posted at 10:17:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
she'd make you both wear gloves and latex body suits... but again even then, I'd still fuck her. soooo
webbie602 · 1 points · Posted at 22:11:58 on September 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
She has to have the assistant do it for you, or else she could get sick from the frothing peasant masses.
UsuallyInappropriate · 0 points · Posted at 10:01:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because dem tittayz.
ptrain377 · -2 points · Posted at 11:51:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have a friend that looks like a fat version of Katy Perry. I can hook you up, she fuck a lot of guys behind her husband's back.
[deleted] · 75 points · Posted at 01:03:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What a bitch. Is there any more to the story?
RhemPEvans · 186 points · Posted at 01:21:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
That's the meat of it. We were forced to shut a lane down so a team member could walk Katy's personal assistant through the grocery scanning process. She also had an issue with her items touching the belt. They needed to be handed to the assistant directly, and only by Katy herself.
Youareabadperson5 · 246 points · Posted at 01:33:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Twist: Katy Perry has received multiple death threats involving being poisoned at a Whole Foods.
ZackFrost · 257 points · Posted at 04:28:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Second twist: unknowingly to Katy Perry, the death threats were from her assistant.
APPLEZACKS · 3 points · Posted at 14:17:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just a fellow Zack pun passing through
ZackFrost · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let's be friends.
APPLEZACKS · 2 points · Posted at 16:25:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Eg-Zack-ly
llamakaze · 1 points · Posted at 05:25:21 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"dumb fucking bitch hasnt figured out im sick of bagging her god damn groceries..."
Ikillstuffalot · 1 points · Posted at 14:13:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My first kiss went a little like this, and twist.
Wonky_dialup · 1 points · Posted at 06:34:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Before or after this incident?
sdflkjeroi342 · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wouldn't she just shop somewhere else?
Black_Metal · 1 points · Posted at 12:20:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's even dumber for shopping there then lol.
arghnard · -8 points · Posted at 01:46:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Source?
Youareabadperson5 · 12 points · Posted at 01:52:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god, come on, it's a twist, it's not actually real. It's reddit, don't be a dick about it.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 02:06:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
you're telling reddit to not be a dick
Kremox · 6 points · Posted at 02:15:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's like telling water to not be wet.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 02:16:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or fire to not be hot.
jhall313 · 2 points · Posted at 03:50:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or wind to not be windy
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:54:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or rocks to not be rocky
Exxmaniac · 1 points · Posted at 05:52:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or an addict to not be addicted
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:35:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or ice not to be icy
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 12:38:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
all that work so that her personal cook can spit in her food later.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 14:28:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is where I think the manager/owner should come in and kindly tell such a celebrity to fuck off. I would rather lose such business than have somebody walk in and pretend to own the place like that.
catjuggler · 3 points · Posted at 03:46:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did she not realize 100 other people touched the food first?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:29:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think that’s exactly why OP contributed.
Cybernetic_Saturn · 3 points · Posted at 10:06:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It always seems like you see that more often from musicians. I guess it makes sense though, getting ill and coughing a lot can mess up your throat, interfering with work.
It's still funny for the reasons everyone else was saying, though.
thelowdown · 2 points · Posted at 11:42:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She might be allergic to something.
I'm allergic to nuts/tree nuts and I think about all the junk that touches the belts and what the cashiers touch all day before they touch my food.
When I see bags of bulk nuts/tree nuts I skip that line because of the possible cross contamination. However, I just wash my produce and all of that when I get home. I'm not too crazy about it, but it's always on my mind when I see the belts are dirty.
TL;DR - I think about nuts all the time.
PatrickPJM · 2 points · Posted at 12:40:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait...what does her assistant do to keep their hands so clean?
Ham_star · 1 points · Posted at 08:36:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like OCD.
GiantDungBeetle · 1 points · Posted at 16:02:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did they carry her food around in a cart before checking out or did her assisstant carry everything in her hands to the register?
centurion44 · 0 points · Posted at 13:06:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Setiously? Kick her out she can either get outted as being a diva bitch to people or she can fucking change her tune. Whole foods doesn't need or care about Katy Perry's fucking endorsement. Hipsters who hate her pop and soccer moms who think she's a deviant for gay kissing make up whole foods demographic anyway!
Edit: dear god typing on my cracked screen on my phone with one finger is a disaster.
rahtin · 8 points · Posted at 04:20:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bitch isn't the right word.
Being famous seems to be completely terrifying. It breaks most people.
Sleeping_Booty · 20 points · Posted at 07:17:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like she's going to extreme measures not to get sick. If she was on tour or had a tight recording schedule, being sick could cost her.
worthbeads · 8 points · Posted at 16:21:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, but normal people have daily responsibilities as well. When you do something like that, you really distinguish yourself as more important than everyone else, which is pretty rude.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 05:31:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was protecting your cashier? After all she was married to Russell Brand. She is probably carrying every STD in existence. GG Katy Perry
bickman2k · 2 points · Posted at 19:04:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She'll be fine then.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:36:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So you're saying Katy Perry is invincible? Yes....invincible....
bickman2k · 1 points · Posted at 20:05:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Indestructible...
superherocostume · 5 points · Posted at 02:01:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I mean, to be fair, if she gets sick she can't sing or perform which is what her entire livelihood is based on.
BustaPosey · 20 points · Posted at 02:13:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
and here I thought it was her tits
ElCazador528491 · 4 points · Posted at 03:18:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is. Please somebody must link some gifs.
Sciar · 6 points · Posted at 02:34:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair anybody who gets really sick loses their livelihood and most people are in far more danger of that mattering than Katy Perry. Also at that level of wealth send people to buy things for you. You have a personal assistant. Either shop for yourself because you want to and then take all the risks associated with going outside and catching a cold, or stay home in your sterile bubble and send the plebeians to shop for you.
I've never seen a celebrity act the way described here but there are better solutions and just because you're rich it doesn't mean you lose all common sense and social skills.
RhemPEvans · 1 points · Posted at 02:15:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not necessarily dogging her. I mean, she wasn't particularly rude about it. Very matter of fact, but not mean.
worthbeads · 1 points · Posted at 16:23:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still lacks humility, though.
Arthur90 · 2 points · Posted at 07:30:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Surely you could have refused - I know I would have.
VALLEYOFTHED0LLS · 2 points · Posted at 06:55:53 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's why she has Tamra!
mtx · 1 points · Posted at 02:52:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hate to think about what happens when she goes to restaurants.
srq2sb · 1 points · Posted at 05:37:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
do you happen to live in Santa Barbara?
Neato_Queen · 1 points · Posted at 06:49:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was figuring maybe she was on a tour/recording or made some kind of major career deal where her voice needed to be in tip top shape, so she couldn't allow any interaction with the public due to fear of becoming Ill? For all we know she could be an HIV positive hypochondriac!
Nomeansnomeans · 1 points · Posted at 08:29:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Edit
Toaster_Boaster · 1 points · Posted at 09:41:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ironic that she then married Russell Brand who has supposedly shagged over 1000 women.
I'm sure none of them were worker class...
RhemPEvans · 1 points · Posted at 13:37:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brand is only claiming 1000 different woman? I find that number to be a significant low ball.
Toaster_Boaster · 1 points · Posted at 13:59:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
maybe he was referring to a particularly slow week.
Thorasor · 1 points · Posted at 10:00:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why was she there anyway? Couldn't the assistant buy the food and bring it to her home? I thought that was the beuaty of being rich, you don't have to go grocery shopping.
vadergeek · 1 points · Posted at 10:42:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, I know some famous people do get sick a lot from all the human contact.
brucetwarzen · 1 points · Posted at 11:34:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girlfriend who waorked in a supermaket where alot of people didn't want to get their food "lasered" and she had to tipe in everything manually. She said it's alot of fun, because it gave her something to do. And the people crazy enough to belive that, didn't care to wait 1hour in line
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:27:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Didn't Wil Wheaton say he does this here on Reddit? He said he was sick of catching the flu or something...
hellzoids · 1 points · Posted at 12:43:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cause, it's not like there's any bacteria on the check-out conveyer belt, the hands of the staff and customers touching the food on the shelf or the hands of the workers who packed the food before going to the store... facepalm
Rhemisaliar · 1 points · Posted at 12:44:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Im sorry, but I call bullshit on your story. I've only interacted with a few celebrities (If you count Danny Bonadouchy i've met interacted with him far more then i'd like to admit) and Katy Perry was probably the most humble and nicest celebrity i've ever met.
RhemPEvans · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you'd care to read the entire thread, you'll notice I didn't once say the woman was rude or mean. It was the opposite - her attitude was fine. She's just odd.
kylemaoin · 1 points · Posted at 12:48:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
That food gets packaged in a factory, stacked on a wooden pallet that's been used for years without cleaning, makes it's way through multiple trucks that have never been cleaned and multiple warehouses where rats probably walk across the packaging, comes in contact with numerous workers with grubby leather gloves during this process, finally makes it to the store, is stocked after midnight by god knows who, possibly comes in contact with another scum-sucking member of the proletariat who might touch it during shopping, then finally Katy Perry lugs it up to the cash in her Russel Brand handjobbers but that cashier with the bottle of fucking Purell is the one that's gonna make her sick. Yeah. That's what's gonna do it. That's the part that's gonna cause those Hot Stuffs to be bad for her.
digitaldeadstar · 1 points · Posted at 12:57:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That doesn't surprise me at all. Even regular people act like that sometimes. I clean floors for a living and often have to block off certain sections of the store to do my job. So trying to be helpful to a customer if they need something, I'll offer to get it for them if it's in the area I'm working. Some will get upset and give a big spiel about how they don't want someone else touching their food or merchandise. It's crazy.
mach_kernel · 1 points · Posted at 12:57:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I would have refused to check out her groceries if I were in charge. Fuck people like that; if there's no medical reason for her to do something like that then she should have her groceries handled the same way everybody else does. I feel bad for the poor college kid working that day who had to be told that they weren't 'good enough' to handle some egotistic cunt's food.
EDIT: Grammar
centurion44 · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not wealthy or powerful people like titans in business law or science who do shit like this. It's the vapid fuckers who are famous for god knows what reason. It's pathetic and so laughAble because they don't realize there are 50 people who could do what they do but those people weren't pretty or handsome enough or even more likely... They didn't know the right person or weren't in the right spot at the right time.
skinsfan55 · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're wrong. She was being a bitch about it. She may not have been obnoxious about it. She may not have been rude or hostile about it... but she was certainly being a bitch about it.
Heicenberg · 1 points · Posted at 13:59:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh honey.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:13:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Considering she wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth, thinking you are better than where you come from is a pretty contemptible attitude, especially coming from a mediocre singer who constantly uses her tits to get attention, despite only having a C-cup (her entire fame basically hinges on acting like a slut and excellent choice in push up bras). God I hate her...
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope she knows she can sick from airborne viruses too. I would have sneezed in her face XD
No im only kidding thats irresponsible
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:24:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I suppose it could be worse. There are celebs out there who literally have it written into contracts that people do not make eye contact with them.
What I don’t get, though, is if Perry was making her assistant do something like that, why the fuck was she even out shopping in the first place? Just get the assistant to do it for you or have your groceries delivered.
It must be some kind of ego trip for these people.
root_pentester · 1 points · Posted at 14:30:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think her celeb request is what makes her a bitch. What is this, Elysium? I wouldn't have her assistant do shit for my cashiers spot.
RhemPEvans · 1 points · Posted at 18:57:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I respectfully disagree.
It makes her dense and a bit delusional, but not a bitch. I've dealt with celebs who make a far larger deal out of this exact situation than did Katy Perry.
From a customer service manager's perspective, I'm more concerned with the HOW, not the WHAT.
You can make weird requests all day - dealing with those is the definition of my job. I don't, however, tolerate a nasty attitude or denigrating speech.
That's really the only rule, imo.
root_pentester · 1 points · Posted at 19:04:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So if I came there I could have a whole line closed down just for me while a friend gets trained on how to scan items and then I can hold up other people waiting to get checked out. I have an odd feeling that wouldn't happen for any regular person.
Drunken_Black_Belt · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So she will let Russell Brand put his dick in her, but a cashier isn't allowed to touch her food out of fear of getting sick? Right...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Doesn't she realise that multiple people will have touched it before you?
fosterwallacejr · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
the babying of celebrities was once perfectly explained by a member of Sting's band on VH1 classic I believe - he told this whole story about as it progresses, people taking care of your becomes the norm, and the human mind starts to warp to that idea, to adapt, until eventually youre sitting in a hotel room with your morning grapefruit and youve adapted not to solving problems, all of a sudden the only solution is "wtf is wrong with my grapefruit??" and then someone handles it - vicious cycle
redcape__diver · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just recently got hired at a whole foods in a city with a decent number of celebrities around. This worries me.
queenbee16 · 1 points · Posted at 15:30:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She has to wash the food when she takes it home anyway...that IS pretty dumb....and ridiculous.....
BunchaQuestion · 1 points · Posted at 16:38:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That "like" spelling... is it just me who caught that? just bothered me.
RhemPEvans · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not sure what you're referring to here. The lack of capitalization?
BunchaQuestion · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:00 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
you spelled Like with an I instead of L
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Would this happen to have been the whole foods in Brentwood?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:28:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This person has had sex with Russell Brand and a cashier touching her packaged food is what she fears will make her sick. That's dumb.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:51:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So, you're super famous, you can't go a week without ending up on mass media, or that has happened already, and now its more every month. Still, pretty fucking odd for the vast majority of humanity. If you are a big mysophobic, or "germaphobe", you are fucked. For a long time, you've had a constant handler that makes you feel safe. Keeping fans back, and hand sanitizer with you. That handler or assistant is in constant fear of losing this job/access to a multi-millionaire celebrity. So, they make non-Katy Perry people feel like shit as they go above and beyond to make Katy, feel less germy. That maybe why this jerk felt like it totally fine to step into your job and "handle" the bosses food stuffs.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:32:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No I understand what she means he body makes he money and If she were to say get strep throat or another sickness she would be out of he job for a night or 2
hongus32 · 1 points · Posted at 22:13:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Technically they do have double cheese
VALLEYOFTHED0LLS · 1 points · Posted at 06:55:17 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey, I've definitely hugged her and I'm a pleb... say what you will but she treats her fans great! And she does get sick A LOT so I don't blame her.
freelollies · 1 points · Posted at 23:42:21 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Is this true? Katy Perry crashed my school formal in Melbourne Australia, and she was right in there with the crowd and gave an impromptu concert
RhemPEvans · 1 points · Posted at 04:07:33 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's true. But she wasn't being a bitch about the request, just a little weird. She was otherwise pretty pleasant.
Mox_au · 39 points · Posted at 08:26:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my wife's girlfriends. Someone told her a riddle about a train travelling north at a certain speed etc, to which she replied, "oh you can't fool me, because I know that north is up" points to the sky
littleoctagon · 381 points · Posted at 02:05:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid I knew in fifth grade, Stevie.
One day the teacher is walking throughout the classroom and his shoe gets stuck on some red sticky stuff. He looks at it, sees a short trail, and follows it back to Stevie's desk. He looks inside Stevie's desk and finds sticky red goo covering a piece of sticky red paper with "Good Humor" written on it.
Yeah, Stevie brought a popsicle back from lunch and put it in his desk so that he could eat it later...
IceWolfcat · 17 points · Posted at 12:40:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's some good humor right there
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 11:52:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
you are stevie arn't you?
littleoctagon · 11 points · Posted at 12:33:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Heh heh, no. Actually, I hesitated to tell the story as although Stevie was not down's syndrome or mentally retarded, he did go see a lady in the school for a couple of hours each day and none of us knew why. We did suspect that he was special in some capacity and in the story I provided, the teacher (who would likely be reprimanded for this today) could not hold back his utter shock at the situation, letting loose one softly spoken, "Stupid!".
GundamWang · 4 points · Posted at 16:30:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to go to speech class in 3rd or 4th grade. And then a year or so later, to some class for "gifted" kids. Which was actually really cool because we got to learn stuff that was a few years more advanced than our classmates. There's a lot of reasons why someone would go missing for an hour or so, besides remedial classes.
littleoctagon · 2 points · Posted at 17:32:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
True enough, but when we took turns reading aloud, Stevie always needed the person sitting next to him to help him pronounce words he did not know (that everyone else did). I don't know about him being special needs but, as I was in the "gifted" program, well, I also knew he was not.
GundamWang · 2 points · Posted at 18:13:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I guess Stevie might've been in remedial after all.
DigitalAge98 · 3 points · Posted at 08:22:05 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
God dammit Kevin.
Awk_Ward1 · 40 points · Posted at 08:23:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My college roommate was, without a doubt, the dumbest person I have ever met. She was writing a paper about segregation could not grasp how "separate but equal" was a bad thing despite 2 people trying their damndest to explain it to her. After nearly half an hour my other roommate and I just gave up and left the room. I still wonder how she passed that class.
And she once asked what the difference between legal and illegal was. She wanted to know "which was the bad one."
This girl now teaches elementary school. Her poor students.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 16:19:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's the same idiot that expels kids for finger guns. This isn't funny. Very sad.
Vaiist · -3 points · Posted at 15:25:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, it's not that "separate but equal" was in and of itself a bad thing, but more that we didn't uphold it at all.
Gigzara · 14 points · Posted at 19:37:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope still a bad thing.
Vaiist · 3 points · Posted at 19:57:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't mean to make it sound like it's not a bad thing, I'm just saying that if it were upheld the way it was made out to be, the civil rights movement probably would have taken much longer to get underway.
mothman83 · 5 points · Posted at 18:39:17 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually if you read " brown v board" ie the actual court decision, the supreme court is rather emphatic that " separate but equal" IS in fact, a bad thing " in and of itself"
Vaiist · 4 points · Posted at 18:45:15 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I tried to correct my original wording, but my point doesn't seem to be coming through at all.
ThatCasualRedditor · 137 points · Posted at 05:37:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A friend of mine back in sixth grade. Learned only "natural born" citizens can become president of the United States. Says she can't become president as she was "a C-section baby."
Comatose_NY · 18 points · Posted at 00:02:20 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah THAT'S why she can't become president.
FeralMuse · 11 points · Posted at 04:36:49 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, that is often what 'natural born' means. In sixth grade, I can totally understand why she made this connection.
ThatCasualRedditor · -1 points · Posted at 16:20:15 on April 7, 2014 · (Permalink)
Except for the fact that she was/is the bleach blonde girl talks in the baby voice. She's never been the brightest crayon in the box.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 03:18:38 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hands student a copy of Macbeth
skivian · 4 points · Posted at 19:47:38 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I bet if Obama had been born by c-section, it would have come up.
totallynot13 · 3 points · Posted at 06:25:57 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
Macduff?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:30:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wasn't that the plot of Macbeth?
thatrez · 36 points · Posted at 03:55:01 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
no one will ever see this on a thread this old but *I once worked with someone who asked me if they make "air conditioners, why don't they make air shampoo?" and was dead serious.
112358Fi · 7 points · Posted at 21:30:17 on September 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did.
thatrez · 1 points · Posted at 19:00:39 on September 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
you sir, win the internets
bigolemoose · 450 points · Posted at 01:49:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once watched a girl at the gas station pump her ford focus full of diesel because it was the lowest price at the time.
[deleted] · 173 points · Posted at 05:10:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
how do you even do this? diesel nozzles are way bigger
Stelio_Kontos_ · 59 points · Posted at 10:01:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girls have a knack of making things fit in.
TrizmoxRSA · 5 points · Posted at 17:28:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ZING
red_280 · -1 points · Posted at 10:57:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Making big things fit in small holes.
Bakingsomecake · 11 points · Posted at 08:11:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not really. I drive a Jetta tdi and the nozzle is almost the same size.
themindlessone · 1 points · Posted at 16:55:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's my next car, once I trade in my 1.8T. How do you like it?
SownDyndrome · 1 points · Posted at 17:13:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Not the dude you were asking but I have a 2001 Jetta TDI.
It is amazing, aside from the normal problem that comes with VW(Special tools needed for a lot of maintanence and repair) I have absolutley no regrets about it. I get ~50mpg** and have never really had any major issues with the car. Also in my state, which requires a safety and emissions inspection annually, I only have to get the safety done because its a diesel. Longer times between oil changes, etc. Next car purchased without a doubt will be another Jetta TDI
**freeway mpg, in the city in traffic 44-45ish
dsjunior1388 · 1 points · Posted at 18:44:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How expensive is an oil change and how often is it changed?
SownDyndrome · 3 points · Posted at 18:48:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You have to get synthetic so it's usually about $70 but you can go up to 10,000 miles before an oil change, though the shop will tell you 5-7 thousand is recommended.
Tenchiro · 1 points · Posted at 00:04:02 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have a 2010 which is a completely different engine. I average ~35 per tank but my best on the freeway is 48, but driving the speed limit in a TDI is hella boring...
SownDyndrome · 1 points · Posted at 00:08:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow, not going to lie, that drop in mpg's is disappointing. I drive a manual but it shouldn't be that much difference. Hopefully the change in engine was worth it.
Tenchiro · 1 points · Posted at 00:23:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is a bigger (and completely different designed) engine, 140 HP vs 90 on the 2001's but the DSG takes its toll for sure.
Spartan1997 · 1 points · Posted at 21:32:42 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Special tools? Like metric wrenches?
themindlessone · 0 points · Posted at 17:19:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank you for your response. I love my turbo (it's fast, and the sound it makes is great) but it only gets about 27mpg which isn't good enough for me.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 17:34:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
themindlessone · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can't STAND the automatic xmission in mine. It's the first non-standard I've owned, and it's because it was the best car I could get with the money I had (insurance payout). I want to get a TDI standard in the worst kind of way. 800 miles to a tank? Yes please.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:22:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
themindlessone · 1 points · Posted at 19:55:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not so. They still have a torque converter, and that SUCKS up power. Unless you are talking about DSC automatic with a computerized double clutch, the standard is still more efficient in terms of putting engine power to the road. Seriously, torque converters are aweful. Thank you for the good luck though, I appreciate it!
slapdashbr · 0 points · Posted at 14:03:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
they are big enough not to fit in a gas tank opening. At least in the US.
Sj123454321 · 3 points · Posted at 15:20:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually, diesel pumps come in two sizes: the bigger one for big diesel trucks, and a more narrow one for normal passenger cars. Both, however, are very clearly labeled and usually a different color than the normal black pumps (usually green). Source: I drive a diesel car, finding smaller diesel pumps can sometimes be a pain.
el_loco_avs · 2 points · Posted at 15:02:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister once did the reverse, putting gas in a diesel car. Not dumb, just tired and not paying attention. Apparantly an easy mistake to make.
slapdashbr · 2 points · Posted at 15:13:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ah well it's easier to do that since the gas nozzle is smaller, it will fit in the diesel opening. oops
CanadianJogger · 4 points · Posted at 12:42:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Perhaps in the states. In Canada and Europe there are enough car sized diesel vehicles that regular sized nozzles are
commonubiquitous. When I visited the states we sometimes had a hard time finding low volume pumps; most were designed to fill semi trucks.thatfookinschmuck · 6 points · Posted at 11:56:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Size has never stopped her.
swidgens_mustache · 7 points · Posted at 08:25:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In Australia diesel and petrol (gasoline i assume) are the same size. Unless it is high flow diesel for trucks.
I had a friend once ask me if he should put diesel in his car because it lasted longer.
u_my_only_friend · 2 points · Posted at 05:40:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
and diesel hasn't been cheaper than gas in about 10 years.
[deleted] · 37 points · Posted at 05:45:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
in europe diesel is cheaper than gasoline. not everyone is from the states.
[deleted] · 40 points · Posted at 07:34:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my god I've heard Ethiopia is beautiful this time of year!
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 07:44:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Meta already? Damn.
chilari · 5 points · Posted at 09:22:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In some parts of Europe. Diesel is more expensive in the UK, by about 5p per litre.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:06:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It varies within the UK too. I'm pretty sure I've seen diesel cheaper than petrol within the past year or so. It was definitely level at some point.
callmegecko · 1 points · Posted at 04:46:51 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep, you're from the UK.
magare808 · -1 points · Posted at 17:28:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, now you suddenly are part of Europe, just for the sake of proving somebody wrong. Typical islanders.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:27:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
spideyx · 3 points · Posted at 06:37:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Focus was designed in Europe primarily for the EU market. It didn't get to the states till about a year after its launch.
There's quite a few Fiestas, Focuses and Mondeos (Fusion in the US) going about.
hibbel · 2 points · Posted at 10:15:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Plus, there's a wide range of diesel engines for the Ford Focus in Europe. With up to 163 HP, it's not necessarily a slouch, either.
bigolemoose · 2 points · Posted at 12:41:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This occurred in Florida, which would explain the lack of a focus diesel and higher level of stupidity
LadyWidebottom · 1 points · Posted at 12:14:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In Australia it's cheaper than premium fuel, but more expensive than the bottom end stuff.
Crobby · 1 points · Posted at 20:31:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't believe in Europe because I haven't seen it
Creature_73L · -9 points · Posted at 08:05:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well.. anyone that matters is.
wiwalker · 2 points · Posted at 08:10:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
maybe it was 10 or more years ago...
BlackenBlueShit · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where I'm from it is
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:13:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Apparently not. Google "accidentally put diesel in a gasoline car".
Mein_Tarnaccount · 1 points · Posted at 12:48:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she used a window
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
in Germany the diesel one is smaller
Rap15t · 1 points · Posted at 14:28:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
U plug the diesel pump into the unleaded and that should give u diesel from the unleaded. Duh
bachooka · 1 points · Posted at 15:02:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupid is a powerful thing.
March_of_the_ENTropy · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On a scale from 1 - things that happened
spankythang503 · 1 points · Posted at 15:23:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Only since like the mid 90s I think
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:43:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's what OPs mom said to me, but it still worked fine.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupidity usually goes hand in hand with determination.
Phoenix64329 · 1 points · Posted at 16:52:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She found a way. Stupidity always finds a way.
ElDochart · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No they aren't.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:14:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she thought it stretched like every one on the football team told her that her vagina does.
ie, she's used to putting too large things in her hole.
TheJudgementalOne · 1 points · Posted at 04:18:03 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Idiots do what idiots want
stickflip · 0 points · Posted at 12:25:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, she'll find a way. Just watch the Kim kardashian sex tape.
candace_lily · 15 points · Posted at 05:58:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh! My old roommate did that once! Brand new Honda Accord. She called me from a 7-11 freaking out once (before the diesel incident) to tell me "the like, car, like umm, won't start. The umm shifter, like, it just wont, umm like move. And like, neither will the um the uh, steering wheel thing" (it pains me to type this. That's really how she speaks.) Well, S, you have to actually start the car...
So many horror/hilarious stories from my time in that house. Seriously one of the absolute dumbest human beings I have ever met.
jeffunity · 17 points · Posted at 07:28:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In her defence, the focus diesel is a popular car in Europe
Jaqacake · 24 points · Posted at 11:19:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I always filled my ford focus with diesel, as it had a diesel engine it seemed like the right thing to do.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:01:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The car of the driving school I attended was a ford focus diesel and the parents of my gf have one too.
LadyWidebottom · 5 points · Posted at 12:13:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked in insurance for a while and we had a fair few guys calling up saying their SO had put regular fuel in a diesel car, and asking if that was covered under their insurance. I always had to put the call on mute for a few seconds while I snickered uncontrollably, before transferring them through to the claims team.
Tenchiro · 5 points · Posted at 00:00:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I drive a TDI and have had station attendants run out to stop me when they see me on the diesel pump... I guess I have her to blame.
SaBAMFa · 3 points · Posted at 01:41:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
When is diesel ever the lowest price?
eythian · 3 points · Posted at 09:03:39 on August 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Always cheapest here. Road user charges apply to the vehicle, rather than being applied to the diesel like they are with petrol.
SaBAMFa · 1 points · Posted at 02:26:25 on August 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah, I see
LowEndLem · 3 points · Posted at 06:02:29 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mom did this with E85 in her 15 year old Honda Accord. Her defense was "Other people put it in their cars!"
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 13:38:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bigolemoose · 7 points · Posted at 13:50:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Diesel is only common in the United States for heavy duty trucks and commercial vehicles. There have only been a handful of diesel cars offered, mainly from Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen, but I'm sure I'm forgetting some
demostravius · 0 points · Posted at 21:54:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You guys are missing out, diesel cars run far smoother and I spend less on fuel (more per litre but less over all).
ElderlyPeanut · 1 points · Posted at 05:49:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I want to know what her dad's reaction was.
Burtthut · 1 points · Posted at 07:01:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually laughed out loud reading this.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
wenaus · 2 points · Posted at 22:10:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't diesel cheaper to make ?
bigolemoose · 1 points · Posted at 13:19:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was back a few years ago in the summer of '08 when gas in my area averaged between 4.05 and 4.30 for a few months. There were some days when diesel was cheaper but it wasn't by anything more than a few cents
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wonder how far she went before her engine died
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:33:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm imagining the sound her car made when she started it. (tried starting it)
wildevidence · 1 points · Posted at 19:49:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Should've went to the vacuum station. 75 cents - what a steal!
CutsLikeABuffalo333 · -2 points · Posted at 05:43:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
welllllll it wont ruin the car... But itll hurt it.. A bit.. Ever see the photo of the female gas attendant fillin up a redbull give away car with redbull drink? Classic
mmiller2023 · 1 points · Posted at 17:03:25 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol
nlw92 · 270 points · Posted at 03:35:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was 19, I waited tables with a girl who didn't know how to tell time. She was 18, fresh out of high school. Now, she wasn't like mentally retarded or anything, she was just really really dumb.
She also went to to the kitchen and asked the cooks how to roll a joint. She explained that she had weed and paper, but couldn't roll it. Our boss was RIGHT behind, and had to have heard her. The cooks told her to shut the fuck up.
She did stuff like that all the time, and she sat people at the wrong tables, messed up orders, and forgot her schedule and would be late/miss shifts a lot.
Anyway, she had a scholarship to play volleyball at the university, but dropped out of college after she failed the athlete's drug test about two months into her first semester. I think she's in beauty school now.
Bagofgoldfish · 10 points · Posted at 17:19:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why did she fail her drug test? Didn't she study?
TitanicIsSyncing · 14 points · Posted at 15:11:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Beauty school dropout.
neoslith · 2 points · Posted at 07:06:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like Luanne from King of the Hill.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:21:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
MontSta · 5 points · Posted at 13:48:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm 22, have my degree in software engineering and my masters in computer information systems, legitimately struggle with analogue clocks, and the months of the year. stems from my dyslexia apparently
Terkala · 2 points · Posted at 16:28:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Check out the Pebble Watch. It has a customizable face (with tens of thousands of watch faces), which means you can find one that displays the time for you in a way that is more readable.
Suggestions:
http://www.mypebblefaces.com/apps/3878/10513/ shows the time from the outside with a clean circular-interface. Easy for telling the time at a glance.
http://www.mypebblefaces.com/apps/3878/10514/ Sideways bar graphs can be read from either direction, so this should be easier to tell the time on if you can get used to telling time from sideways bar graphs.
I am not dyslexic, so these suggestions may be way off. But I'm sure that there is at least one watch face out there that would work.
MontSta · 2 points · Posted at 16:35:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably, iv managed to live without the requirement of it, digital is everything I do don't leave home without my phone charged. I could if required eventually work out the time from analogue but i mean it'd take me a while and I usually just ask someone outright what the time is when people do that here check for yourself thing haha
Terkala · 0 points · Posted at 16:39:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Big plus for this watch, it is bluetooth enabled and can talk to your phone. So you can read texts/emails and chose to answer/ignore calls on your watch without ever taking out your phone (which is what I use it for).
Plus, it means you don't have to annoy other people to find out the time.
nlw92 · 2 points · Posted at 16:50:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Having trouble with it is one thing. But having NO CLUE how it goes it another. Girl didn't even know the count by fives rule or which hand for hours and which for minutes.
MonkeyEatsPotato · 2 points · Posted at 13:17:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I do that with left and right. I know where left and right are, but when someone tells me to look left I need a few moments to think which way is left.
shadow1515 · 2 points · Posted at 17:32:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So which episode of Casting Cough is she on?
jn29 · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't understand the not being able to tell time thing. At all. I've been able to tell time since I was 5. But, I've never rolled a decent joint. I just can't get it for whatever reason.
wishihadallama · 1 points · Posted at 21:59:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, you have one or the other right?
rachface636 · 1 points · Posted at 02:53:44 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This was just like something out of a monologue in a Kevin Smith movie. I can see Jason Lee reciting this.
SuckForLuck2012 · 1 points · Posted at 21:29:12 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Time thing isn't crazy. The sheer amount of people at my high school that can't read an analog clock is ridiculous.
TheRealSantaClause · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
she's right where she belongs
theLoveGiant · -5 points · Posted at 07:03:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha beauty "school" ha ha
SteveCFE · -4 points · Posted at 23:42:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is beauty school just female clown college? I will never understand the US
nlw92 · 6 points · Posted at 00:08:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's where people go to get their beautician licenses. It's usually, hear me USUALLY, drop outs and party girls. They normally (thankfully) don't graduate because it's a year long process. It's actually more complicated than people think, which is why most of the people that graduate are smart, hardworking, entrepreneurial people who want a career, not just a job.
Some people go to beauty school and think, "Oh, I can put on makeup and I've been using box dyes from Wal-Mart on my hair for since I was 12, I can go to beauty school, should be easy!"
It's not the most difficult thing in the world, but it's not exactly easy if you're dumb.
shabusnelik · 188 points · Posted at 04:22:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"so do you speak Asian?" What the fuck girl, what the fuck. The worst part is she asked me that question twice that day.
DOAKES_MOTHAFUCKA · 19 points · Posted at 08:53:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I get do you speak Indian from like 90% of white people I meet.
StubbFX · 17 points · Posted at 10:05:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sure I get that the correct word is "hindi", but it's hardly comparable to the whole "do you speak Asian" thing.
In your case it's like "do you speak the language they speak in India", they simply don't know the correct word. In the "Asian" case it's more like "do you speak the magical common language all Asians understand?", which is a whole other level of stupid.
vagijn · 16 points · Posted at 10:22:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hindi and English are right.
But also Assamese • Bengali • Bodo • Dogri • Gujarati • Kannada • Kashmiri • Konkani • Maithili • Malayalam • Manipuri • Marathi • Nepali • Oriya • Punjabi • Sanskrit • Santali • Sindhi • Tamil • Telugu • Tulu • Urdu
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_India
BlackenBlueShit · 4 points · Posted at 10:32:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Saying "Do you speak Indian?" isn't that bad and people should really be annoyed by it imo. It's like when people say "do you speak Filipino?", even if there is no such thing as "filipino" since we have 175 different dialects.
langlo94 · 5 points · Posted at 10:58:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is there a standarized form set forth by the government?
BlackenBlueShit · 6 points · Posted at 12:29:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Our national language is Tagalog, but that's just because it's the most common dialect used in the capital city. I'm not exactly sure if it's the most used, since it seems every single place has their own dialect, but it's what's usually referred to when people say "Filipino".
Though I had an acquaintance who was from Canada and said he can speak "Filipino", when I asked him to talk to me in said language, I couldn't understand what on earth he was saying. Turns out he was actually speaking in "Cebuano", the dialect of the people from the island of "Cebu", which is also very commonly used, even in the capital city.
Qwertyest · 4 points · Posted at 14:03:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
With so many different dialects, how does anything ever get done in the Philippines? You must come up against language barriers as a daily occurrence. Or are people expected to speak Tagalog to conduct business, if this is the official national language?
BlackenBlueShit · 10 points · Posted at 14:23:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
That's the thing though, barely anything gets done.
Not really, if you stay in one area/region most of the time, you won't really have a problem. It only becomes a problem if you go to a lot of different places; or are at like a large university where there are people from different places who have come to study there. When that happens, you either have to play charades with them, or just speak English, since a uni student should know how to speak at the very least basic English.
Business is almost always done in English; which is why we are among one of the countries in Asia with a high English speaking population. This is because of
A.) Vast amount of dialects
B.) A large amount of tourists/foreign businessmen in the country (we have the largest American population in Asia, the last time I checked). Also, most of the people will buy anything that is imported. Common mentality is imported>filipino. This attracts a lot of foreign companies and the like. Oh and Koreans. We have a shit ton of Koreans.
C.) One word in Dialect A may have a different meaning in Dialect B. People could get confused because of this.
Think of it as how it is in the U.S. But instead of every city/general area having an accent, they also have their own dialect. If you stick to where you are, no problem. But go island hoping and stuff? You better be sure you either know how to speak the local dialect or can speak english.
cptstupendous · 2 points · Posted at 15:39:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've always used the terms 'Filipino' and 'Tagalog' interchangeably and so did a lot of my peers as American-born, English-only Filipinos. I didn't even know there were 175 dialects until you mentioned it.
langlo94 · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:45:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually, the government of the Philippines has been asking people to call Tagalog "Filipino". (This is, unsurprisingly, pissing off Filipinos who speak a language other than Tagalog.)
I work in software, and we had to change the word "Tagalog" to "Filipino" in our language settings a few years back.
StubbFX · 0 points · Posted at 10:25:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Alright, but aren't Hindi and English the only official languages?
vagijn · 2 points · Posted at 14:53:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's somewhat complicated. From the wiki:
StochasticOoze · 5 points · Posted at 13:18:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope.
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/in.html
StubbFX · 2 points · Posted at 13:27:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man that's one hell of a rude way to start a post.
StochasticOoze · 4 points · Posted at 13:32:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope.
salgat · 0 points · Posted at 23:44:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I see it similar to speaking Chinese. Technically there is Mandarin, Cantonese, Shanghainese, etc, but I still know what people mean by Chinese.
Flarinite · 1 points · Posted at 12:02:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Except that there are a ton of different languages spoken in India. So it really is the same thing.
StubbFX · 0 points · Posted at 12:32:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Except only English and Hindi are official languages, while Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc... are all official languages in different countries.
Flarinite · 1 points · Posted at 15:47:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fair point. But lots of the other languages (Gujarati and Tamil come to mind) are spoken by almost everybody in certain relations, and are certainly not minor languages.
Get_Head_Ed · 1 points · Posted at 18:37:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I upvoted you just because of your username.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:14:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I counter with ""Do you speak Canadian/American?"
iwillrememberthisuse · 4 points · Posted at 09:10:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
do you speak white?
n0c0 · 3 points · Posted at 11:29:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
so, do you?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:21:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I speak European quite well.
Handyland · 2 points · Posted at 22:19:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm jealous. I'm working on my European.
slapdashbr · 1 points · Posted at 14:09:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well, do you?
GundamWang · 1 points · Posted at 16:40:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seriously though, do you speak Asian?
Get_Head_Ed · 1 points · Posted at 18:38:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Asian, muthafucka, do you speak it?
wishihadallama · 1 points · Posted at 22:02:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, do you speak Asian?
An00bis21 · 326 points · Posted at 00:27:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This chick I used to work with. Here's a prime example. I told her I was going to Ethiopia and she replied, "oh my god Europe is supposed to be beautiful this time of year. " I also told her I was from Philly (I now live in California) and she asked what state is that in? Boston?
081301 · 185 points · Posted at 03:26:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she misheard and thought you said Estonia.
LastSatyr · 9 points · Posted at 05:57:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah, she probably doesnt even know what an estonia is.
mortiphago · 3 points · Posted at 19:29:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that's a truck manufacturer, right?
sumcpeeps · 3 points · Posted at 13:49:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You are a kind person.
starlinguk · 8 points · Posted at 08:32:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Even if she misheard, Europe has more than one climate.
Edit: has, not had
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:07:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
you wish :D
Reisor · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
no way
voiceswakeus · 1 points · Posted at 07:42:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl that dumb has probably never even heard of Estonia.
duelbrother · 78 points · Posted at 01:39:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It sounds like she just misheard you on the "Ethiopia" part. But I do find her lack of basic geography understanding disturbing.
Riodancer · 3 points · Posted at 12:34:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I facepalmed many a time in my college-level geography class. I once listened to a couple argue over which state was Georgia. -_-
GinaBones · 1 points · Posted at 19:43:53 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
And let me guess, Georgia is the state where y'all live? Lol
Riodancer · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:42 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol no. I'm in the Midwest
eplekjekk · 4 points · Posted at 12:15:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is also kinda ignorant on it's own. It's not like Europe stretches from polar regions down to Africa and from the Atlantic to Caucasus.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 19:21:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I constantly see people talk about "europe" and "europeans" as if it's one big homogenous entity where everything is the same. It makes me cringe and even sort of angry like crazy.
demostravius · 4 points · Posted at 21:56:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You mean to tell me Azerbaijan and Wales are not homogenous?
JackTheJill · 2 points · Posted at 04:27:18 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
Exactly...there is a huge stretch of land and sea between the two. How could they all possibly be homo's?
Dreyyy · 3 points · Posted at 05:08:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you spend most of your days at a playground?
An00bis21 · 1 points · Posted at 05:34:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If only this girl's name was Hilary, it would make so much sense.
SaidMail · 2 points · Posted at 11:28:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If we're talking bad geography, I know a girl who used to think London was an island separate from mainland Britain. There was a school trip to London and she was confused when we didn't get on a ferry. She also thought Vietnam was a state in America, and wrote about it in her history exam, in the section on the Vietnam war. If I remember correctly, she still got a B.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:00:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now this is the story all about how, my life got flipped-turned upside down...
JackTheJill · 1 points · Posted at 04:44:53 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
fuck you Carlton!
BadgersForChange · 1 points · Posted at 05:58:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she misheard you and thought you said Poland.
DownWithTheShip · 1 points · Posted at 22:54:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How do girls like this not end up pregnant by the age of 12?
Sademoman · 1 points · Posted at 05:59:13 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god no....... I didn't know what you ment by Philly.... But hey atleast I didn't mistake for another country or town..... Or did I?
All-Shall-Kneel · 1 points · Posted at 10:57:40 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you told me you came from philly, I too would look at you blankly.
It's Philadelphia right?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:36 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not knowing where countries are is not dumb. She could have A) miss heard you B) not known where Ethiopia is. Unless she lives in Ethiopia or one of its neighboring countries it's not dumb of her to not know.
kbghost · 1 points · Posted at 04:48:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i don't think that's really "dumb". lot of people don't know geography, especially that region of the world. plus ethiopia is kind of in that region that borders a lot of different continents that gets a bit ambiguous. Like who thinks of Yemen as an asian country? And hell if i know where that was if I didn't just google it myself
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 02:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
_chapstick_ · 1290 points · Posted at 01:21:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The dumbass that's always looking at me through the wall of my bathroom, mimicking everything thing I do. He just looks like a bitch.
Blaise92130 · 772 points · Posted at 02:34:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should fight him.
NOT_THE_RIGHT_GUY · 273 points · Posted at 03:09:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Put him in his place.
_chapstick_ · 19 points · Posted at 03:23:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Mother's fucker too quick... I think he knows my tactics.
Edit: Incest. I kinda like it so I'm leaving it.
HelloSlackers · 8 points · Posted at 05:00:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
..dude.. you were doing fine. just, why.
brucetwarzen · 5 points · Posted at 11:36:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jerk off and maintain eye contact
Dgeiger · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
NOOOOOO! Don't look into his eyes!!!!!!
Assbutt_Winchester · 1 points · Posted at 14:28:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You need to copy all of his fighting moves
Gustenpunkt · 2 points · Posted at 17:24:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tried to fight him, got brofist.
aaninja64 · 1 points · Posted at 19:30:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But you're not the right guy!
THE_WRONG_PERSON_ · 1 points · Posted at 20:04:22 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're not the right guy.
But I don't think I am either.
bustinjustin · 9 points · Posted at 07:31:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But he knows all my moves!
Raging_Hemorrhoid · 5 points · Posted at 07:08:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/IdiotsFightingThings
Knolligge · 2 points · Posted at 23:40:32 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you punch yourself in the nose really hard, he'll do it too!
Blaise92130 · 1 points · Posted at 19:25:01 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh ok
barkjon · 1 points · Posted at 04:45:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Ahem, did I hear that you want to 1v1 me, bro?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:55:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or just antagonize him. Shine a laser pointer at his eyes.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:16:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually have a fraternity brother who attempted to fight his reflection.
Most hilarious thing to watch.
Thismyrealname · 1 points · Posted at 17:16:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No if you fight it's a tie, always. You just have to holster your sword and he will let you pass.
Le_Mond · 4 points · Posted at 09:28:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
sammywestside · 48 points · Posted at 03:11:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Either your wall is made entirely of glass or you should legitimately be afraid.
Edit: Guys I don't even know. Sleep deprived me attempted to make a joke and I apologize on his behalf.
byebyebreezy · 171 points · Posted at 03:47:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ahem I think he's sarcastically talking about a mirror..
R3luctant · 6 points · Posted at 13:56:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let him talk, I want to see where he's going with it.
zombielynea · 81 points · Posted at 04:09:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my.
bigredgecko · 6 points · Posted at 12:35:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is it meta when people are dumb in a thread about being dumb?
zombielynea · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Indeed...or irony is also applicable.
revatal · 1 points · Posted at 07:37:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeezus
MEatRHIT · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think the correct term is "Oh, honey..."
Twistatron · 5 points · Posted at 12:24:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh honey...
LivingInShanghai · 3 points · Posted at 05:23:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy
mugguffen · 3 points · Posted at 12:03:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think the appropriate term is woosh
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:06:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
whoosh
Ikillstuffalot · 2 points · Posted at 14:15:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aww! Pity upvote.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:12:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh honey...
ZackFrost · 1 points · Posted at 04:29:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That man can glare through solid matter.
R3luctant · 1 points · Posted at 13:56:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Go on...
the_reveler · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this. how did it get ANY upvotes?
Inkpress00 · 0 points · Posted at 01:35:02 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
New contender
SpiritF · 2 points · Posted at 08:06:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For a second I didn't realize you were talking about mirrors and I was terrified.
Dan_Maddron · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should ask him to change his ways. Make sure that no message could be any clearer.
Charliesreddit · 1 points · Posted at 12:42:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Frank?
sumcpeeps · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can agree! On yesterday's thread I googled my reddit username and the first picture that came up was I_AM_AN_IDIOT_AMA. So, the woman in the mirror must be the dumbest person I have ever met :(
owlsrule143 · 1 points · Posted at 17:07:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why don't you just ask him to stop? Or start masturbating and stare him directly in the eyes to see if he goes full beta submission and gets scared off
RocheCoach · 1 points · Posted at 16:45:04 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sit down, Kevin.
BaronBifford · 1 points · Posted at 22:29:21 on May 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
I heard that this is an actual neurological disorder that some people suffer from. They can't help but feel that man they stare at in the mirror is another person, mimicking their every action. Even if they understand on some level that this sensation is incorrect, they can't help but feel it. The brain is funny like that.
[deleted] · 258 points · Posted at 03:43:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
makesnosenseatall · 18 points · Posted at 10:09:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's not wrong.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 11:25:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It solves every problem
Me0fCourse · 17 points · Posted at 11:52:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Relevant what-if XKCD.
Handyland · 5 points · Posted at 22:10:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah she is, dumbass. I mean, how are you supposed to remove the sun? If you send people up there to do it, they're going to get skin cancer, so that doesn't solve the problem!
wishihadallama · 3 points · Posted at 22:00:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kick It like a soccer ball
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 14:01:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Highschool, highschool, highschool. I still got 1 year left with these people. I can honestly say I gotten a little stupid breathing the same air.
_Bones · 8 points · Posted at 17:00:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If your grammar is anything to go by, you have.
30GDD_Washington · -1 points · Posted at 18:04:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is just your lungs making you stupider by simply keeping you alive.
tehhass · 30 points · Posted at 07:01:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ex girlfriend wanted to convert her religion to vegetarian.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 19:49:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
guypery10 · 2 points · Posted at 16:28:34 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure "Babushka" is Russian for grandmother... Isn't it?
thelaura · 2 points · Posted at 16:41:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
maybe she meant pastafarian?
berlinerbolle · 1 points · Posted at 08:23:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
And she's now an ex because...?
tehhass · 0 points · Posted at 20:11:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
She lost Christ duh
pyrhho · 29 points · Posted at 08:13:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have a friend who one day asked with complete sincerity, "Who is this Al Qaeda guy, and why is everyone so mad at him anyway?"
warpfield · 2 points · Posted at 08:21:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ahhhhh if only it were that simple :)
Anosognosia · 3 points · Posted at 15:09:28 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
"It's simple, we kill the Al Qaeda-man"
[deleted] · 83 points · Posted at 02:51:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A teacher I worked with as an assistant needed me to record myself reading questions aloud for a listening test. It took me almost five minutes of arguing to explain that screaming into the jack the mic plugs into wouldn't work.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:47:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i feel like this one is just, old people not being able to keep up with technology.
ukmhz · 3 points · Posted at 20:55:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Microphones are not exactly new tech. This is someone failing to understand that sound waves and electricity are two different things.
bprax · 2 points · Posted at 15:44:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You kind of trailed off there at the end.
_aladynevertells_ · 301 points · Posted at 01:07:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some girl I randomly met in public who was fighting with her boyfriend and tried to drag me into it to back her up, she kept insisting that there were 52 states because "Hawaii and Alaska were the last two!"
Dummy.
Ginger-saurus-rex · 604 points · Posted at 04:12:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But there are 49 states because Pluto is not a planet anymore
BadgersForChange · 270 points · Posted at 06:03:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks Obama.
gantothes · 7 points · Posted at 11:24:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks Neil Degrasse Tyson. But seriously, did you hear about Pluto? That's messed up, right?
TheOfficialAvenger · 4 points · Posted at 07:25:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I thought there were only 3 States HAHAHAHA I'll go now
SpiritF · 12 points · Posted at 08:11:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chemist here: there are four states, gas, liquid, vapor, and and salad.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:02:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Didn't know 'and salad' was a state! That's fascinating!
Xaoc000 · 1 points · Posted at 04:20:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah yes, salad, the state no one loves
5pace_Cat · 5 points · Posted at 12:32:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I can disagree, and I say it's a planet Morty"
thecosmic0wl · 1 points · Posted at 21:14:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be easier to just make the solar system with eight planets...
exfarker · 2 points · Posted at 07:23:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No! There are 51. Damn you can't math good can you?
mg2012 · 2 points · Posted at 08:02:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's messed up
jelvinjs7 · 2 points · Posted at 08:31:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not even not a planet. Scientists discovered that Pluto don't exist no more.
blakkattika · 2 points · Posted at 16:03:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And it made Alaska super sad and quit the US
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:32:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Scientists found out that Pluto doesn't exist.
GrizzlyBCanada · 4 points · Posted at 09:42:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm a Canadian so I get a freebie if I'm wrong, but there are 50 states, correct?
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep!
A_Link_to_the_Post · 2 points · Posted at 10:11:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had the same argument with one of my ex's moms. She asked the two of us, how many stars are on the flag?...(in some tone like it was a trick question). We both paused, looked at eachother and said...fifty? She said noooo 52 dummies! Alaska and Hawaii! Like really? This grown woman, who was a doctor by the way, is standing here literally thinking that there are 52 states. I had to come up with so many different ways to convince her that we were right because even after she googled it she wouldn't admit she was wrong. I said things like how would the star pattern on the flag go? There's 5 rows of 6 stars and 4 rows of 5, that makes 50....and if there were 52 stars that would mess up the pattern and the flag wouldn't look even. This was a very basic and dumb way to try to force her to admit it but at this point we had run out of ideas. We went outside to find a flag in the garden and sat down at the dinner table and counted the stars. We finally got to 50 and she apologized.
Edit: one of my ex's moms meaning the mom of one of my ex's. My ex didn't have 2 moms
rctsolid · 2 points · Posted at 16:12:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl once argue with me that there were 55 states. For some fucking reason. I even called an American mate of mine to show her once again that there were 50. This was in the days before smartphones were widespread....whatever still boned her. Smashing tits!
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She gets a free pass b/c she's not American! But hey, good on you for actually knowing, I'm impressed!
rctsolid · 1 points · Posted at 16:45:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah seriously everyone knows there are 50 states I mean c'mon...
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:50:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If the replies are any indication... it appears that you are incorrect. :'(
rctsolid · 1 points · Posted at 16:51:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Smh
forgetfulcoder · 3 points · Posted at 02:54:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If they're not states then what are they? Or am I missing a joke?
_aladynevertells_ · 7 points · Posted at 02:58:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are 50 states, and yeah, Alaska and Hawaii were the last two, but there are only 50.
My best guess is that she thought there are 50 contiguous states. IDK. Are you from the U.S.?
forgetfulcoder · 5 points · Posted at 03:17:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No I'm Canadian.
_aladynevertells_ · 9 points · Posted at 03:23:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Phew! Carry on then.
blackcain · 2 points · Posted at 03:52:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
he probably knows all 50 states and their capitals.
_aladynevertells_ · 2 points · Posted at 04:24:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
LOL, yah prob.
Cheeseblanket · 1 points · Posted at 04:41:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ol' Dirty Bastard says there are 52, and I'm inclined to believe him.
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 07:01:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
hahhaha, okay /u/Cheeseblanket.
spitfire07 · 1 points · Posted at 06:46:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holy shit my sisters boyfriend said the same thing, dead set that there were 52 states. He's almost 30.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:18:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's more than that.
SteveLeopard · 1 points · Posted at 10:20:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are they sorta considered like semi states though? I wouldn't have a clue but it might be useful to know later. (Not american)
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:32:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Like the District of Columbia, Guam, Puerto Rico, etc? Yeah but based on her reasoning, she wasn't getting at those?
Edit: Oh, you mean Hawaii and Alaska? No they're not considered "semi-states". They're 100% states. just not connected/part of the contiguous United States, like the other 48. Even so, she'd still have to make up two states somehow. Sorry, I thought you were asking if there was a chance she was implying places like DC/Guam/PR/AS were making up the add'tl 2 states.
SteveLeopard · 1 points · Posted at 19:38:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thanks for clarifying that :D
JackTheJill · 1 points · Posted at 04:20:24 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
DC, Guam & Puerto Rico have federal voting rights and representatives in the US Congress.
They all get federal funding for education, infrastructure, etc... & get US passports.
2/3 don't have to pay federal income taxes though.
I absolutely know that Puerto Rico doesn't want to deviate from this "semi-state" agreement, not sure about Guam.
Perhaps it is semantics relating to what is a state vs semi-state, but if you consider representation without taxation a state, then it is 52.
Msktb · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lots of people believe this. It has to do with incorrect memories, but some people think it's actually stuff that happened that was changed somehow. For example, they lived in an alternate universe and got moved here and the only difference is that there are 50 states here and there were 52 in the other universe. When Nelson Mandela died there were a bunch of people who remembered him dying before, so the effect is called the Mandela Effect.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:45:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you from the U.S.?
demostravius · 1 points · Posted at 21:59:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I swear we had some like that in the UK. Took me years to finally find out those two are included in the 50.
Potato_Tots · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a coworker insist there were 52, including East Virginia and the recently added New Mexico. That's why it has new in the name.
zandburger · 1 points · Posted at 18:09:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Then how'd they build everything so fast in New York if they just added it as a state ?
demostravius · 1 points · Posted at 21:57:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly I was thought that for a long time. People would talk about the 50 states, then when talking about the US mention 'plus Alaska and Hawaii!'. Unless someone explicitly states they are included in the total it's not that hard to think they are separate.
ButtsexEurope · 0 points · Posted at 08:45:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You got that from reddit. That was a scumbag teacher meme.
_aladynevertells_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope. Live and in person, about 10 years ago while working at a pool.
ButtsexEurope · 0 points · Posted at 16:45:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Suuuuuure. I bet you also knew a girl who said "So why does semen taste so salty if it's made of sugars?" in biology.
_aladynevertells_ · 2 points · Posted at 16:49:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hah, I do not. Sorry. Is that also some old Reddit joke I'm not getting?
ButtsexEurope · 1 points · Posted at 17:01:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, it's older than reddit. Here it is (NSFW).
guydawg · 0 points · Posted at 11:58:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that's literally the dumbest human you've ever met?
[deleted] · 145 points · Posted at 03:14:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Easily the girl in my eighth grade history class that asked if the Holocaust was still going on
blackcain · 7 points · Posted at 04:50:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I could undertsand it was a bad period would hate to think it was still going on!
kupimukki · 4 points · Posted at 12:09:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well fuck, the world's doing nothing about North Korea despite knowing full well what's going on, is it so far-fetched to think that's the way we roll?
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 13:30:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She thought the actual Holocaust of the Jews, conducted by Nazis, was still going on. She wasn't confused about whether or not genocide was still going on
kupimukki · 2 points · Posted at 13:46:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes I caught that. I'm just saying that being as we let genocide continue unimpeded all the time, it wouldn't be so far-fetched for a person who's never been to Europe to think that this particular genocide might also still be ongoing.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 14:24:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would be, considering that it started seventy years ago. You'd think we'd be out of Jews by now
coookiecrisp · 3 points · Posted at 16:19:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They're under protection by law in America.
ChosunOne · 10 points · Posted at 07:02:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe you should ask the question yourself: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2014/02/20/haunting-sketches-show-horror-north-korean-prison-camps/
[deleted] · -6 points · Posted at 11:11:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hmm
SovietRus · 8 points · Posted at 12:03:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that doesn't remove the truth of concentration camps in north korea though lol
Lemonlaksen · 2 points · Posted at 17:41:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
According to Fox it is happening right now against American Christians.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 17:52:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
According to Fox- are there any other type of Christians besides Americans?
Lemonlaksen · 3 points · Posted at 18:21:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well some libtards claims that Jesus was not American
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:52:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In her defense- if it were still going on I'd like to know too.
Zudane · 1 points · Posted at 20:44:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Of course, we all laugh at the people that are trying to learn for being stupid.
But then again some people here are the same ones that laugh at fat people exercising.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:06:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you serious? A girl one year away from high school thought that a mass extermination that started seventy years ago was still going on. Lighten up.
Zudane · 0 points · Posted at 21:12:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay, you are saying that everybody should automatically know everything?
There's a point that people learn new things. With trillions of things to learn, there's shit you don't know that other people learned in elementary/grade/primary school.
https://xkcd.com/1053/
Or we can follow your example and say that if you don't know it before I do, you're an idiot.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:32:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Plot twist: happened in 1942
Bronystrongwing · 54 points · Posted at 05:11:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One girl in high school, let's call her 'Lisa', honestly thought that gravity didn't exist and the reason why we didn't just float away was because of our weight. Took about ten minutes to explain that gravity gave us our weight. She then proceeded to ask if gravity could, in her words, 'Break like a pencil.' After explaining this impossibility, she finally stopped talking. The very next day, she confused Newton with Al Gore. No joke. She was really nice, though.
MontSta · 7 points · Posted at 14:17:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
trishfishmarshall · 5 points · Posted at 19:56:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Doesn't call her Lisa
Bronystrongwing · 3 points · Posted at 00:27:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, poor choice on my end.
trishfishmarshall · 2 points · Posted at 00:35:17 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No worries dude
Crunchymanbear · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you bang her?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:55:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:54:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gravity could break when I'm trying to do my taxes and gravity rolls off my desk, under my foot, and cracks when I get up to get some coffee?
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 06:25:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lisa Simpson?
Adski673 · 52 points · Posted at 08:01:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Way back in high school a girl in my class said
"i know you couldn't, but if you could hold your breath long enough could you like swim under Australia?"
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 13:53:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair a member of the US congress essentially thought the same thing.
forumrabbit · 5 points · Posted at 03:57:52 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
So you're saying all the US dicksucking our government does is for nothing?
Oh... ._.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 04:11:43 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
3 months later....
chilly_anus · 5 points · Posted at 16:37:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Really? Never heard of that
KingOfTheMonkeys · 5 points · Posted at 17:35:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes, but you'd have to dig the tunnel first.
sneezerachoo · 2 points · Posted at 11:54:36 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Would be cool if you could!
ramildethulu · 2323 points · Posted at 02:50:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This girl I had a one-night stand with and eventually became friends with until I couldn't stand her any more when I was in undergrad. Sounds terrible, but it's true.
Now, let me just say, I am no MENSA member by any means, but I'm reasonably smart (was in a good STEM program in a good uni, high GPA, well-rounded education/outside interest in multiple subjects). However, when I drink...
...you can imagine where this is going.
Anyway, got drunk and had sex with this woman who was, honest-to-god, really nice, but man, was she fucking stupid. She wanted to be an elementary school teacher, and thank christ for that, 'cause I don't think she would have had the mental capacity for anything above a 6th grade education...and even then...
Here are a few gems (I swear...cannot make this shit up):
FILLING OUT MEDICAL INFORMATION FOR HER TEACH FOR AMERICAN APPLICATION
HER: It says to check any illnesses that I have. I have Hepatitis C, don't I?
ME: You don't have Hepatitis C.
HER: I feel like I caught it one time!
ME: ...
HER: Oh! You know what? I think it's herpes that I caught one time!
ME: That was a canker sore.
INTERJECTED DURING A CONVO ABOUT EUROPEAN POLITICAL AFFAIRS
HER: I thought Georgia was a state in the U.S.?
EVERYONE: ...
HER: What's all this Russia bullshit?
AFTER A REPRODUCTIVE BIOLOGY LECTURE
HER: Well, like, he came inside me, but I washed down there afterwards, so there's like NO WAY that I would be pregnant.
ME: ...are you on birth control?
HER: ...I just got off like three months ago. But, like, I JUST got off, so there's NO WAY.
ME: ...did you use a condom?
HER: No.
ME: You should take a pregnancy test.
HER: Nah, I think I'll be fine.
TALKING ABOUT STUDY ABROAD
ME: You could always go to South Africa. I've been.
HER: Yeah but where?
ME: South Africa. Like, the country.
HER: Yeah, but which one?
ME: The COUNTRY, South Africa.
HER: I thought you told me Africa was a continent.
ME: Are you being serious right now?
HER: (getting frustrated) Yes! Where do I go!
OVERHEARD AT THE INTERNATIONAL STUDENT HOUSE
HER: So, is Germany a part of Europe or England?
And, on a separate occasion...
HER: Do they have color televisions in Spain?
Aaaaand, another occasion...
HER: Well, I mean, Japanese and Chinese are practically the same language, right?
Aaaaaand, yet again...
HER: Why is there the '-ese' at the end of Asian races? Like, VietnamESE, and JapanESE, and ChinESE?
ME: (jokingly, good-naturedly) Like PortuguESE?
HER: Yeah!
WHEN I TOLD HER I AM BRAZILIAN
HER: Oh! Do you speak Mexican, then?
ASKED AFTER RECEIVING THEIR GRADE ON AN EXAM OUT OF A POSSIBLE HUNDRED POINTS
HER: How do you figure out the percentage for 61/100?
HELPING WITH HISTORY HOMEWORK
ME: So, Cote d'Ivoire recently had a coup--
HER: A what?
ME: A coup? Like...overthrowing a government?
HER: ...
ME: You might have heard it pronounced 'COOP'?
HER:Oh!
ME: ...do you...know?
HER: No, what is that?
ON WHY SHE WAS SO ADAMANT ABOUT VOTING FOR A CERTAIN CANDIDATE DURING THE LAST ELECTION
ME: So, why do you want to vote for [this candidate]?
HER: Because he's doing a lot for education.
ME: ...like what?
HER: ...a lot...?
I could go on, but now I feel like a douche. Downvote the guilt out of me...
MrsCuddlezWorth · 359 points · Posted at 07:56:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The South Africa part reminded me of these kids back when I was in AFJROTC. We had to pick a country and do a short report every week to the class. This one guy picked South Africa and got made fun of. Then they said how can someone be so stupid to think South Africa is a country.
thepurplemongoose · 279 points · Posted at 12:16:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a South African, this makes me very sad. But I get it a lot when I'm travelling too.
"Where are you from?" "South Africa." "But what country?"
That being said, it's a pretty silly name for a country.
irenedakota · 93 points · Posted at 12:33:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think it's a fairly accurate name.
thepurplemongoose · 50 points · Posted at 13:31:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Accurate yes, but it just reeks of being given to the country by an outsider.
I mean most country names are, but ours sounds like it. It's just a rough description of where the country is. Like imagine France being called "South of England".
That is very telling of our history, however. The weird country that we are.
But it's our name now, and I'm fine with that.
superioso · 3 points · Posted at 19:08:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well it had the names of the cape, natal, orange free state and Transvaal before being called south Africa, but they kind of formed a union and ended up being called the union of south Africa, then ended as the republic which is why it doesn't have a specific name.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:31:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually it would be more like Canada being called Northenmost America, or Russia being known as North Asia, rather than France as South of England. France should be Central Western Europe, Germany could be Almost Eastern Europe.
We need to make this a thing.
Teh_Sauce_Guy · 4 points · Posted at 13:34:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, there's like South Korea and South Vietnam...
RoboChrist · 15 points · Posted at 13:51:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, but those were named after a country split in two. It's not like Africa has two countries, and one is North Africa and the other is South Africa.
Teh_Sauce_Guy · -4 points · Posted at 05:00:02 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, there is a "North African Republic".
thepurplemongoose · 6 points · Posted at 14:30:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But they're both split countries, that would often get referred to by the name of the whole. South Korea and North Korea could potentially make Korea, and Vietnam already has. The South only applies because it's the southern part of what is otherwise a country.
Africa is a continent, not a country and has never been a unified mass.
hachiman · 3 points · Posted at 16:13:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My Broe! Dont Be Ashamed!
Dis Lekker In Mzansi!
Etc.
Not very good at this. But you get the idea.
veritableplethora · 1 points · Posted at 18:48:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
East Detroit changed its name to East Pointe, to be more like the Grosse Pointes. You can do it. Start a petition.
kairisika · 1 points · Posted at 19:44:07 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those states that got together on the American continent never actually chose a name either..
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:13 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
'Murca!
centurion44 · 3 points · Posted at 13:15:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you can potentially ask that question once until they clarify the country and you go oh woods my bad
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:30:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If someone says South Africa, they mean the country. If they are from one of the nearby countries they will surely say the name of that country. I mean, they would know better than to potentially confuse someone.
Also, no one says they are from North Africa and South Europe.
centurion44 · 3 points · Posted at 14:34:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
people say they are from east asia, western europe, eastern europe, etc. I wouldn't do it but im also not a pretentious douche who would assume someone is stupid after hearing that.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:04:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
That's a good excuse if you're in elementary school. But it's not like South Africa is some piddly little third world country.
It doesn't necessarily make you stupid. Just ignorant. If I met an adult, or a college student, and they didn't know South Africa's a country, I wouldn't assume that they were stupid. But I would assume that they were completely incurious about foreign affairs. Hell, not even that, just completely incurious about the world. Which is a fair assumption.
Doesn't make them a bad or dumb person, just not the type I'd be too keen on knowing. I mean, Jesus, you spend a couple days reading the international section of any major newspaper, you're bound to read about South Africa at least once.
Self-teaching aside, everyone's heard of Nelson Mandela at this point. Do they seriously not know what country he was President of? Did they never learn about apartheid at school? To not know about South Africa as a university student, you pretty much need to be willfully ignorant about the world.
Icalasari · 1 points · Posted at 21:10:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...I did not know who Nelson Mandela is until now
kairisika · 1 points · Posted at 19:45:06 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
And if you said you were from "SouthERN Africa", it would make sense.
CynAq · 2 points · Posted at 14:56:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why don't you just say, "the republic of south africa"? I think the name of the government is a plausible answer in these situations.
thepurplemongoose · 6 points · Posted at 15:18:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because I prefer to let people embarrass themselves.
It's sad that people don't know, but I'm not going to let them escape the SHAME of their ignorance!
af2045 · 1 points · Posted at 16:27:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Would love to go there! Don't be sad. Everyone in my neck of the woods is fully aware of South Africa's sovereignty haha. (Atlanta, ga).
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:11:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe they should change the name to Tipotheboot
Kablaow · 1 points · Posted at 16:53:32 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or its the most logical name for a country.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:14:49 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Rename it to "North Africa." Confuse everyone.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:15:12 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm going to volunteer in South Africa soon, and people drive me crazy when I talk to them about it.
"So where in South Africa are you going?"
"A little outside of Johannesburg."
"So what country?"
"...I'm sorry?"
"You said outside of Johannesburg, so if you're not going to that country, which one are you going to?"
"Johannesburg is a city"
"What country is it in?"
"SOUTH AFRICA"
"You do know Africa is a continent right? Saying South Africa is like saying South Asia."
Jesus.
Pseudocrat · 1 points · Posted at 02:10:36 on June 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least you don't have to explain that you are from Lesotho. I mean, I don't either. But I imagine that would be even harder.
"No, It's like inside of South Africa, which is a country, but it is its own country..."
creepyeyes · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:34 on August 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know about that, it's fairly accurate.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 13:05:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's one hell of an acronym, son.
spaceeoddityy · 2 points · Posted at 16:46:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My country report was on South Africa! :D
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:11:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah, infact in elementary some kids thought africa was a country, like WTF. also in 1st grade they thought that besides hundred, one hundred was another number
Doctursea · 2 points · Posted at 18:03:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A tearcher got me laughed at by the whole class for sharing that the planet is closest to the sun during our winter time. It was Dec 12 we were the closest that year. What a bitch.
CLXIX · 1 points · Posted at 21:39:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sarah Palin had the same misconception.
InvisibleUp · 1 points · Posted at 23:49:18 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Same thing happens with New Mexico. There's a staggering amount of people who think New Mexico is part of Mexico.
FLR21 · 565 points · Posted at 05:38:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is some funny shit. The kind of stuff Michael Scott would do.
SirACG · 37 points · Posted at 07:45:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is like SNL stupid
cwbiddin · 3 points · Posted at 12:50:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I could make it through them up until the grade one, with her 61/100. My phone about shattered from the stupid in that statement.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:47:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my god, it's even better if you read it all in Michaels voice.
davis98 · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe his friend is Holly.
FLR21 · 1 points · Posted at 15:10:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Holly isn't dumb, though. Gotta be Kelly
FreshBanana · 6 points · Posted at 15:34:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Um, Kelly is like really smart now. You could ask her who the biggest company in the world is and she'd be like "blah blah blah" giving you the exact right answer.
FLR21 · 3 points · Posted at 15:55:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Would you have made that same comment if I were white.
FreshBanana · 2 points · Posted at 16:14:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"The business bitch"
OneAndOnlyJackSchitt · 1 points · Posted at 17:37:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She reminds me of Jillian.
AbsoluteLoss · 60 points · Posted at 08:28:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Being from South Africa and living Los Angeles... I get that one quite a bit.
"wait, where?" "Johannesburg, in South Africa." "What like Egypt?" "Well, that's in northern Africa, and no, South Africa. The country." "Uhm. But Africa is like. A Country already." "No, its a continent. South Africa is a country just like The USA is a country and NORTH AMERICA in the continent." "Yeah I'm lost. You are weird."
or the even MORE common...
"OH South Africa! That's neat! Do you hate black people?" "Do you hate Native Americans?" "No, why would I?" "I...I'm going to go get a scotch." "But it's 10am and we have a meeting with marketing in 20min!" "Yeah well, do the math." "But how will you get back from the bar in time it's like 5min of walking away?"
-_-
Soyala · 7 points · Posted at 16:42:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How is the bit about the bar and the meeting relevant? Am i missing something?
NetaliaLackless24 · 0 points · Posted at 21:55:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I'm confused to. Trying to link alcoholism to stupidity? If so, that's not cool.
AbsoluteLoss · 3 points · Posted at 06:25:09 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry, not clear...as in... I'm going to the bar, at 10am, because my coworkers' stupidity is mind numbing. Shit joke, they've never driven me to the bar BEFORE noon, now AT noon is a different story.
NetaliaLackless24 · 0 points · Posted at 17:42:06 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh I thought THEY were going to the bar. I get it now. Heh.
af2045 · 2 points · Posted at 16:29:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ugh I'm sorry. Not everyone in the US is a complete idiot. I have several South African friends in Atlanta and would love to visit your beautiful country sometime in the near future!
AbsoluteLoss · 6 points · Posted at 20:06:06 on March 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
OFF TOPIC RANT::
I'd wait 40-50 years or so for things to level out from the post-apartheid fall out.
I went back for the first time in many years for all of Jan 2013. I stayed in a gated community with armed guards with my uncle and his family, very very nice part of Johannesburg. In that month 2 sets of neighbors were killed.
1 set can blame themselves. They drove a brand new Audi R8 music blaring, top down, etc through a township a few times too often and too obviously. Got followed by crooked cops, and murdered for a joy ride. Husband and wife killed over a moderately expensive sports car.
The other family... Husband, Wife, 3 daughters. Couple + 2 daughters get out of their car, killed for their iphones that some gang had seen them answer at the mall or some shit. 3rd daughter was shot in the car and was in critical condition but still alive last time I checked. Over an iphone. The prevailing opinion is that it is easier to murder and get away with it, than it is to risk being identified later.
It is EXTREMELY dangerous to be a white person in South Africa, especially if you are an obvious tourist, or look like you have money. Remember to take into account that US lower-middle class ($30,000? per year?) is exponentially more money than the vast majority of people in South Africa. The common idea is that if you are American, you must be rich.
Add on top of that a president that was caught singing a song entitled "Kill All the Boers" in public. "Boers" are farmers of Dutch heritage in South Africa.
It is a very strange place that as an educated white you cannot help but feel fearful,...the place MAKES YOU racist. I have no problems with black people in the US. I'm involved in music, have recorded a number of hiphop groups, one of my best buddies is black and is over playing card games and drinking every week. I have spent literally my entire life in the US angry about racism, attempting to fight stereotypes, and doing my absolute best to treat people equally. But being back in South Africa changed all of that in a week.
If you want to see my country, just go to California (where I live). The climate is nearly identical, Malibu looks like Pretoria / The Cape. You'll have a much nicer time. Literally the only difference is that in CA not everything (and everyone) is trying to kill you.
Masterofice5 · 49 points · Posted at 09:11:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
The Georgia question is understandable. I didn't know Georgia was also the name of a country until Russia invaded. So.. you know.. thanks, Russia. Now that I think about it I've learned a lot about Ukraine and Crimea lately. Russian aggression is really helping my geography skills.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I only recently spotted the two exist but I live in the UK and come from an ignorant family, so that's my excuse.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:21:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I now understand the line in Back In The U.S.S.R. by The Beatles that says "The Ukraine girls really knock me out, they leave the west behind. And Moscow girls make me sing and shout, that Georgia's always on my m-m-m-mind!"
cdoublejj · 27 points · Posted at 05:34:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
i think the "ese" question is a good one, we don't say AmericanESE, EuropESE or GermanESE or rather i should say it isn't' the worst question asked.
then again i'm no English major. I always did so poorly at school but, ask me about vehicles or computers and we can really have a conversation.
jelvinjs7 · 26 points · Posted at 08:25:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The question is fine in my opinion. Then she agrees that Portuguese is also Asian…
cdoublejj · 2 points · Posted at 09:57:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ah!
[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 07:28:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, there is Korean and Mongolian.
cdoublejj · 9 points · Posted at 08:20:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
KoreanESE and mongolianESE?
DancesWithDaleks · 0 points · Posted at 10:04:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And Russian. And Hindi. And I'm sure others if we're going by the entire continent.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:52:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
cdoublejj · 0 points · Posted at 05:54:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well did she ever find a career?
ramildethulu · 2 points · Posted at 05:55:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Last I heard, no...
joal21 · 15 points · Posted at 07:15:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
More please. OP pls. More.
Sybs · 3 points · Posted at 09:03:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're like Brian and Gillian.
ramildethulu · 2 points · Posted at 15:56:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
....Oh my god never has there been a more accurate TL;DR of this.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:17:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Boy, I bet you're excited for the World Cup.
"Hola!" (Pronouncing the "H")
"Uh, olá."
"No hablo español."
"Neither do I."
maybeiamyoudick · 3 points · Posted at 09:48:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well to be fair, she's not too far off on that one regarding hanzi/kanji. Maybe she actually had a smart amongst all the dumb.
frankyb89 · 2 points · Posted at 17:42:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or maybe she just happened to watch Card Captors as a kid. Li says it at some point.
Icalasari · 1 points · Posted at 21:15:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Plus, well, if you don't look too much into Asia, it's something I could see somebody getting confused about
civilian11214 · 3 points · Posted at 07:39:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck dude, I had to stop reading.
clubswithseals · 3 points · Posted at 10:14:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this is downright hilarious, I want to carry her around on my shoulder to narrate my daily happenings. I lost it at "what's all this Russia bullshit?" What's she doing these days? Did elementary education work out-or is this all recent-?
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 15:57:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Last I heard she got her M.R.S. degree and is still trying to pursue education, but she so far has no career...
SirSquiZZ · 3 points · Posted at 05:20:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe i just hang with dumb people, but i feel like these are things some of my friends would say.
noah3053 · 2 points · Posted at 07:58:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had the same problem confusing coup and coop. But that was in 6th grade.
Cerberus_RE · 2 points · Posted at 08:06:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She sounds like my ex and it's making me cringe Except she wasn't nice
Mr__Awsm · 2 points · Posted at 08:11:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
the fact that you originally had to tell her that africa was a continent...
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:59:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Far, far away.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:32:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We do have color televisions here.
uracil · 2 points · Posted at 06:24:31 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
Her not knowing something doesn't mean she is stupid. She is just ignorant.
My best friend had no fucking idea that WWII happened and lots of other common topics. He is 4.0GPA now, with full time job and he got accepted to an Optometry School in Canada, still doesn't know Italy was involved in WWII. He knows what he needs to know and couldn't care less about random trivia.
People on reddit love circlejerking about how "smart" they are compared to their friends just because they read few TIL posts and brag about it, looking like complete asshats themselves.
ramildethulu · 2 points · Posted at 23:18:15 on June 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
Right. But he knows what he needs to know.
This woman...knew absolutely nothing.
She was like...Jon Snow...except she was bad at oral sex, so she didn't even have that going for her.
Seriou · 1 points · Posted at 09:58:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I picture and hear her as Cheryl from Archer. Jesus it's a perfect match.
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 15:57:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least Cheryl was amusing.
anna-gram · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually think she would be a funny friend to have. I love blondes.
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 16:02:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Never said she was blonde, you racially prejudiced jerk!
Also, she was totally blonde.
anna-gram · 1 points · Posted at 16:07:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm a blonde. I have blonde-dar.
i_moved_away · 1 points · Posted at 10:51:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The only douchey thing about your post is implying that you can be of inferior mind to teach elementary school. Just because the content is simple doesn't necessarily make it easier. Teaching the basics of reading requires pretty in-depth understanding of phonetics, not to mention how the brain works, effective teaching methods, and much more. Imagine teaching a kindergartner that comes in not knowing any letters, and by the end of the year has to be able to read full sentences. It's not something any idiot can do.
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, you're totally right. It was a joke, and looking back on it, a rather tasteless one. As I explained (somewhere on this thread...no idea...), this is primarily why I was so horrified at her inability to learn...or teach for that matter.
I had a roommate who wanted to teach k-8 and she got her masters for it--I understand that it's no joke and applaud you for moving forward with your education. It's an incredibly difficult job--one I'd be absolutely awful at.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:09:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think a non-insecure person should be able to read that as a joke and not an actual belief that teaching is easy.
Testbot5000 · 1 points · Posted at 11:07:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You shall take my up vote and enjoy it!
Lordofthegoons · 1 points · Posted at 11:08:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're not a douche, this post has brought me much laughs and great joy
chewbaklava · 1 points · Posted at 11:11:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd like to think she has the dry sense of humor and says all that just to fuck with you
TheHawk17 · 1 points · Posted at 11:40:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I certainly wouldn't want her teaching my kids. Scary.
ShaggyTDawg · 1 points · Posted at 11:45:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, one of the three alphabets in Japanese is taken from the Chinese. But I doubt she knows that. Just dumb luck.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:58:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow.
My girlfriend's step dad's daughter argued with one of her teachers saying he couldn't be Fijian, he had to be Indian because he looked like one.
Runixo · 1 points · Posted at 11:59:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I keep downvoting you, but your post doesn't look any happier.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:00:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
south Afrika is a country though
123fakerusty · 1 points · Posted at 12:02:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm assuming she's a teacher? Lord help us
Tea_inthegoodroom · 1 points · Posted at 12:05:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, I'd keep her around just for laughs. These are great.
ThereIsBearCum · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think she might have been lying about her grade.
crispybac0n · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this is hilarious its kind of like the book Sh!t my dad says, but instead dumb Sh!t this girl says
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:21:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It makes me wonder how she is still alive. It's amazing she knows how to cross the street, and remember to breath.
wanttobeacop · 1 points · Posted at 12:21:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You actually remembered all this stuff?
eliasv · 1 points · Posted at 12:22:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, South Africa is confusingly named.
ZeFroag · 1 points · Posted at 12:29:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
More pls
ghettomind · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe you should've shown her a map
muzzratticus · 1 points · Posted at 12:44:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now I feel really stupid. Only in the last 6 months did I learn that South Africa was it's own country and not a cluster of countries. For example, there's North America and South America. I'm not good as geography.
txobi · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, all this time I have been watching black&white TV, that's nice to know...
Sugusino · 1 points · Posted at 12:54:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We do, we got them last year.
Siwix · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So you have herpes?
Peeayouel · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, she sounds nice. It seems like way too many people who are ignorant don't put themselves out there because other people make fun of them for it and then they never learn.
danny-35 · 1 points · Posted at 13:13:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tldr please!
centurion44 · 1 points · Posted at 13:13:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
YOU mispronounced coup
emohipster · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds worse than Brick from Anchorman.
TerminalReddit · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
-_-
bdusek08 · 1 points · Posted at 13:37:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But seriously, do you speak Mexican?
mslack · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You even tried to explain things to her. Sounds like she lacks the ability to learn.
ramildethulu · 2 points · Posted at 15:50:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think that's really the reason I got frustrated...it's like she couldn't hold onto any information.
I genuinely thought that maybe she had some kind of learning disability that made it difficult for her, but she got tested a few times and wound up typical.
I have a current friend who is like her, but she will actually retain what she learns. I don't fault someone who is ignorant, but it is difficult to continue a friendship when someone keeps asking you the same thing over and over again despite you answering them.
True story: my brother went to a school specializing in teaching kids with varying mental disabilities. One of his best friends has down's, and when I told him this story, I shit you not, he said, "I'm smarter than she is, and I'm literally retarded."
Fuck, that guy was hilarious. And super witty.
Lee_power · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That thing about Japanese and Chinese... I lived in Japan for 12 years and I get that shit so often.
"Oooh you lived in Japan? That's so cool. So like, what other Chinese countries have you been to?"
" You do know that those are two different countries right?"
"No I meant like countries IN China. Like the ones that speak Chinese"
"What the fuck"
He_Was_Number_1 · 1 points · Posted at 14:09:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
After reading each of these I just imaged you hitting you head against a wall.
iamadogforreal · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let me guess, that eventually became her stripper name.
Poor Spaniards, could never crack that color TV code. Seriously, this one is pretty wtf. Is this how she judged all societies? Those who have color tv vs those who don't?
_dippinthewic · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i hope you have a little black book filled with sentences lol
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 15:52:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was starting to wonder whether I should keep a quote book at one point...
Nalrayes · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How did you and her get into the same college? How did she get INTO college?
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met her at a college party. She went to a CC in the same city.
fosterwallacejr · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
youve either got a really good memory or keep some sort of diary
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To tell you the truth, I wound up talking so much shit about her towards the end of our friendship that it would have been impossible not to remember some of what she said.
snsv · 1 points · Posted at 14:55:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
one form of japanese written language uses the same characters as chinese.
probably not what she was thinking though
crimson777 · 1 points · Posted at 15:17:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm half Brazilian, and I've gotten a lot of "So you speak Spanish?" or "But you're not black?" but never once have I gotten "So you speak Mexican?" so thanks for that.
Kaden3 · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't coup pronounced coo?
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Precisely.
tommex · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As funny as that was, you need more than a "sixth grade" education to be a primary school teacher.
ramildethulu · 2 points · Posted at 15:54:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh abso-fuckin-lutely. That's why I was horrified at her total lack of knowledge/inability to retain information.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:25:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dude I don't know how to break this to you but you probably have hepatitis C
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 15:55:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...Are you sure it isn't AIDS? I've been feeling a little sniffly lately...
BGYeti · 1 points · Posted at 15:35:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't worry I know how you feel I had a friend who though Arab was pronounced Ay-Rab
HULK-SMASH · 1 points · Posted at 15:42:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know the odd girl like this, I find it fun. No bullshit, just naive honesty. I wonder which one of you guys is more fun to hang out with.
ramildethulu · 2 points · Posted at 16:05:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll admit she was definitely prettier to look at.
Isaiah97 · 1 points · Posted at 15:55:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
keep going, please for the love of comedy
Conan97 · 1 points · Posted at 15:55:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Georgia one sounds like the kind of mistake anyone would make if they hadn't been told about the country. That was your cue to tell her about the country. Sounds like she just had a terrible geography class in high school.
Freakears · 1 points · Posted at 16:25:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sadly, the Russia/Georgia one seemed to be pretty common while that conflict was going on.
JonoW91 · 1 points · Posted at 16:45:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I pronounce it as "coo"
owlsrule143 · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty entertaining but also mind-suicide to read this, just one criticism of your comment: Mensa is well known for simply being a shiny badge for insecure people to claim they're smart because of. It has a minimum IQ, and IQ has been shown to have very little impact on intelligence, meaning that it has no real correlation. It's mostly a measure of where you are compared to your peers in terms of knowledge in school. It doesn't really have much to do with thinking capacity, or logic ability. A kid with a high IQ (like myself) may know a lot as a little kid, and be ahead of the average kid that age. Once you get to high school, there's relatively little deviation in knowledge. Yeah, there are people who don't know the answer to a test, people who get different grades, but if you arbitrarily say that an average 18 year old knows 100,000 things, and 10,000 of them are school things, that means that even the kid who doesn't care about school still has the first 90,000 things in common. The only way to determine intelligence at that point is to measure their ability to think critically, to use the knowledge that they have in an efficient, effective, and relevant way, and in general to make decisions.
I happen to be reasonably intelligent and also had a high IQ as a kid but that doesn't mean those 2 things are related. I also am not a valedictorian, I had some maturity issues with working with shitty teachers in freshman year and a little of sophomore year in which I would blame them for my grades since up to that point, I simply absorbed information and got straight A's. High school is when they required me to actually learn some on my own, and think for myself. So I don't have a 4.0 GPA, but I do have a 4.0 in senior year right now. So basically IQ and GPA aren't really great indicators of intelligence.
shadow1515 · 1 points · Posted at 17:44:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be entirely fair, cold sores are caused by a herpes virus and can be difficult for a layperson to distinguish from canker sores.
You know what? My only experience with someone thinking a modern nation was apparently living the stone age also involves Spain, I wonder what's up with that. My stepsister is from Spain (is it ex-stepsister if our parents later divorced? meh) and the same age, so she was in my class in school when she and her mom moved to the US. As she was being introduced to the class people were allowed to ask her some questions, and like 7 people asked stupid stuff like, "Do they have electricity there? Does Spain have cars?" etc.
TheGeever · 1 points · Posted at 17:54:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
don't feel like a douche man, that was beautiful
mortiphago · 1 points · Posted at 19:28:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
see, the intro to your post made me picture you as a douche but.. god damn those examples prove your point
FBI_Florist_Van · 1 points · Posted at 20:07:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wow.
handoverthekawaii · 1 points · Posted at 20:11:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Japanese major here. You have no idea how many times I've heard about the supposed similarities between Japanese and Chinese.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:42:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, South Africa is a freaking stupid name for a country.
world_crusher · 1 points · Posted at 22:07:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She should NOT be ANY sort of teacher.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:44:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Confessions of a High Schooler:
I thought it was too... ._.
Wait, isn't it!? There's the U.S. state and country!
(Jeez I hope I'm getting this right...)
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 23:49:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're in high school. She was four years into college and still doing the same GE courses.
dbbo · 1 points · Posted at 00:22:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
It sounds like from all the stories that wasn't the extent of your relationship.
ramildethulu · 1 points · Posted at 01:26:22 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope. Started out that way though.
mrshosey · 205 points · Posted at 03:26:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister's baby-daddy. Holy shit he is dumb. After watching Avatar, he asked if it was based on a true story. Um, he thought artichoke was a type of fish. I told him once "Don't play dumb with me, you'll win every time," he said "uh, what?"
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 11:12:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is baby-daddy like... they aren't in a relationship or they aren't married?
mrshosey · 9 points · Posted at 14:15:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my nephews dad. they aren't together any more
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 21:15:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're probably glad
mrshosey · 4 points · Posted at 23:04:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
god, yes. Unfortunately my nephew looks just like his dad so, it's bittersweet
Ucantalas · 8 points · Posted at 07:18:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Avatar as in blue cat people or air bender?
Also... I, until I was 19, thought artichoke was a type of fish...
iKickComputers · 20 points · Posted at 09:39:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You probably got anchovy and artichoke confused, I bet. It happens. Not to me, but... well, it happens.
military_history · 3 points · Posted at 11:39:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think I did the opposite--assumed anchovies were a vegetable because I'd never seen one but they did sound like they were probably vegetables.
mrshosey · 5 points · Posted at 14:16:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
avatar as in blue cat people, ok and maybe artichoke isn't as known to as many people as I thought
ES_Kan · 5 points · Posted at 15:27:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I always confuse artichoke and anchovies. I swear I'm not dumb.
meewho · 3 points · Posted at 17:11:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Met a girl who was told that artichokes were a fish. She said she never questioned it because she always saw "artichoke hearts"and so it made sense they were animals. She was stunned when she saw them in a grocery store.
madkinghodor · 3 points · Posted at 08:40:24 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn it, up until last week I thought artichoke was a type of fish. I didn't confuse it with anchovies; I didn't confuse it with anything. For some reason I just always assumed it was.
I am not an idiot!
Lucid_Sky · 3 points · Posted at 17:13:22 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
New favorite insult.
[deleted] · 27 points · Posted at 05:44:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hired a new receptionist. She spelled everyone's names wrong (Brain, no it's Brian). We overlooked that. She was very sweet. So in our business, it really was necessary that she understood the concept of square footage. So I actually drew on the giant plate glass window in front of her desk a grid of square feet......Total incomprehension. She also could not read a ruler.
Beebles1 · 120 points · Posted at 01:42:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You guys remember that one scene in Zoolander where Owen Wilson goes, "It's in the computer!"?
K. Well that happened... In 2012... To a Macbook Air... I remember walking away like a complete asshole.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 04:52:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"A model, idiot?"
The_Sands_Hotel · 9 points · Posted at 10:01:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
but why male models?
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 11:08:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
cough cough cough
^ That and the pouting made me laugh so hard. That movie is amazing.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 03:41:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
soo simple
hostergaard · 4 points · Posted at 11:18:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Reminds me of this.
llamakaze · 3 points · Posted at 05:26:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"im bulimic."
"YOU CAN READ MINDS?"
WellSeeYaLater · 49 points · Posted at 07:05:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably me in earlier elementary classes. When asked what "swam" meant, I blanked. I just couldn't put it together that it was the past the tense of swim. I kept picturing it as onomatopoeia for when someone smacked you or something, like pow, or biff. These kind of mistakes happened all the time.
war3ag13 · 4 points · Posted at 20:06:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's pretty good! I am just picturing one of those old batman comics and someone gets hit to the resounding picture/sound of a giant "SWAM!" Thanks for the mental picture!
svenson_26 · -6 points · Posted at 03:16:36 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
The past tense of swim isn't swam. It's swum.
IWantAFuckingUsename · 4 points · Posted at 12:18:13 on August 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
It depends on context. I swam, I have swum.
Sweetscience101 · 416 points · Posted at 04:24:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: girls from highschool.
blehonce · 289 points · Posted at 07:01:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i really have to wonder how many were:
i've noticed a bunch of these both in this thread and even back when i was in highschool. generally guys would misinterpret the intent.
RentacleGrape · 56 points · Posted at 08:08:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or rather it's because they are the ones that people remember. If the class retard/clown say something stupid yet again you don't batch an eye. But if that hot chick with good grades says something stupid you'd think "Wow I didn't know she was that stupid to think that the sun revolves around the earth".
We had one guy in class where every second sentence he said was something absurdly stupid, I don't really remember anything of it since the sky is blue and he says stupid shit. But I do remember that this girl once asked the teacher where the heart is located. The reason I remember that is because she was one of the two who had the best grades in the entire school. Though in this case it might just be that someone else was arguing with her where the heart was located and she just asked the teacher to clarify.
maddermonkey · 59 points · Posted at 08:56:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know this made me realize something. I say stupid shit all the time but for some reason, everyone thinks I'm actually smart. The second one of my female friends has a "dumb blond" moment, even if it was only once, every single person assumes they're an idiot from that point forward and even tells other people about it.
[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 14:45:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you a guy? People seem to like to assume men are smarter and women are dumb. Then confirmation bias gets in.
maddermonkey · 7 points · Posted at 04:45:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah.
Here's the thing, the stupid shit I say all the time is me being serious unless I point out I'm just joking.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 17:28:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:08:42 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was on College Bowl team.
Missed a trick question in early rounds.
Heard first line of same trick question in final round, buzzed in, answered correctly .
Got questioned by Admin about possibly cheating in College Bowl.
The answer was "Turtles."
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 14:48:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you are female the world wants you to be dumb, and it's worse if you are an attractive one.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 15:10:15 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Father of very attractive college coed in Mechanical Engineering program.
You could not be more wrong.
GrizzlyBCanada · 7 points · Posted at 09:59:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm a guy and I find myself telling real deadpan jokes that just fall flat because people don't catch on, I normally act stupid, but you all of a sudden think I actually think the moon is made of cheese?
shadow1515 · 9 points · Posted at 17:49:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ugh, this bothers me. I dated a girl like this once who was really smart. We were a good match because we were among the most intelligent people at our high school so it was hard to find good conversation (I'm no genius, it was just a small school in a rural area so being above average for that zip code wasn't too hard). Anyway, despite being so smart (she later declined several med school acceptances and decided to go to Harvard Law School instead if that tells you anything) she played "stupid and ditzy" all the freaking time. I think it was a coping mechanism she had developed to deal with people, but it bugged the hell out of me and her inability to reliably shut it off was what eventually lead to our breakup.
inhale_exhale_repeat · 8 points · Posted at 14:04:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I've read somewhere that women actually do very marginally better than men at IQ tests but they tend to play dumb from time to time. I've played dumb when I thought it would benefit me and also in a joking way that may not have been apparent.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:46:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Men have greater variation in IQ scores. People with genius level IQ are more likely to be male but so are people with really low IQ.
That said a lot of this stuff is about knowledge, not actual intelligence.
inhale_exhale_repeat · 1 points · Posted at 14:59:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is interesting, but on average women do score 1 point higher, which isn't much but it may disproves the idea floating around this thread that women are stupider than men.
[deleted] · 39 points · Posted at 10:52:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not exactly hard to believe that the average redditor didn't understand girls in high school.
pipamir · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a girl in high school I can confirm that there are some who fake it but a lot actually really do just not know things. I've had conversations with girls that were not around guys or their friend groups that baffled me at how much they did not know or understand. Some examples-
-Girl thought that there were male and female bulls, and then male and female cows, and that they were two separate animals. When attempting to explain to her that it is one animal with two different names for gender, just like a deer can be a buck or a doe, she seriously could not wrap her brain around it. Also thought only the spotted cows were actual cows
-Had to explain to some girls that "that black president of Africa that died" was not the president of all of Africa, and that Africa is a continent, South Africa is a country, etc.
-Friend of mine does not know what a lot of words mean that, while not extremely common are still used in average speech, like "deceived" or "reversable"
-One of my favorites, a girl who asked me a question about the "Boston Tea Party Massacre."
Equally, there are plenty of dumb high school boys I have witnessed show their idiocy in class. Being in a rural public school tends to bring about amusing moments like these fairly often.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 21:14:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, definitely. I'm not saying that high school girls can't be stupid, I just think that the disproportionate number of female examples says a lot about how redditors saw girls in high school.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 13:41:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A lot of girls play the "I'm stupid" card because they think guys find it attractive.
wayfaringpirate · 3 points · Posted at 14:51:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wonder, maybe it's easier to remember when a woman does something stupid? People often think that women can't do certain jobs and have cetain majors in college. Maybe some of these people are remembering the stupid women more?
anthropomorphist · 2 points · Posted at 17:45:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
your comment should be much higher up in the thread.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:31:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
or maybe after high school we just don't have to deal with people just because they live in the same area as us? There was a guy who couldn't tell time in my high school, yet he wore an analog watch since he thought they were cooler. I felt really bad for him, but also asked him for the time whenever I could.
[deleted] · -8 points · Posted at 09:04:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is probably 90% of them.
Failed attempts at this are the other 10%
CerebrumLavabit · 2 points · Posted at 13:26:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do you have any data to back up your claims?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:29:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm gonna go ahead and cite the high number of downvotes on my comment as evidence for it's accuracy.
Source: I'm like 500% more drunk now than when I posted it.
iamadogforreal · 0 points · Posted at 14:16:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but its pretty obvious that its a joke. HS students aren't exactly known for the deep satire and subtlety. I really hate it when a stupid person is regarded as "funny," especially if your profession is based on comedy or you aspire to make comedy.
"Oh she's hilarious, you'll love her." spend 4 hours with a serious ditz while her friends laugh at her
firehatchet · 0 points · Posted at 14:58:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or high school girls can get away with being stupid because they're hot.
crookedparadigm · 0 points · Posted at 19:04:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What the fuck, do girls in high school think this way?
The_Goss · -1 points · Posted at 14:06:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...Hmmm... then we wouldn't be laughing.
guydawg · 2 points · Posted at 11:57:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: some girl asked a dumb question one time or wasn't totally clear on something
WHAT A FUCKING RETARD
Wesside · 4 points · Posted at 14:40:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A lot of these posts are really specific though.
nerak33 · 0 points · Posted at 14:32:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dumb girls keep talking. It's not [only] about men not correcting women, it's also about how woman accept their dumb peers.
Dumb boys become shy, introverted and angry pretty fast, because boys are unforgiving with each other's weaknesses.
chadsexytime · 0 points · Posted at 00:59:54 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
The scariest thing is most of those "dumb" girls you remember from high school will grow up to be teachers.
gingerbusiness · 24 points · Posted at 08:39:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class only knows the digital clock. She stopped working out at this gym because she didn't know what the time was. She's 18.
emh1990 · 3 points · Posted at 18:08:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know it seems dumb but I have an IQ of 155, got an ACT score of 31 and have no problem with grasping any other common information or skills but honestly I couldn't read an analog clock until high school and still have trouble if a clock doesn't have numbers. I just can't figure out the spatial aspect of it which is bizarre since I love geometry and excel at it.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 01:42:39 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have an IQ of a 158, still takes me 10 seconds to read an Analog clock.
You are not alone.
emh1990 · 3 points · Posted at 19:05:49 on June 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh MY GOD thank you!!! I could just never learn it and understand.
Overthemoon64 · 2 points · Posted at 01:38:21 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
It really takes constant practice. In high school I'd have to stare at it covertly for a good 30 seconds thinking "Now the big hand in on the 8. that's minutes, and the little hand in halfway between 1 and 2..." It was only after working at my job for 3 years with only face clocks for time that I could do it in 5 seconds instead of 30 seconds. Still can't do it instantly. I have problems with Left and right too. I feel like clock reading and left and right knowing uses that same weak spot on my brain.
thelaura · 1 points · Posted at 16:43:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't elementary schools teach this? We had tons lessons about this and elapsed time in around first grade.
gingerbusiness · 0 points · Posted at 18:56:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In Norway, you learn this at the age of 8, I guess.
But on the bright side, this girl DOES have big tits:)
royale_with_cheese_ · 24 points · Posted at 01:01:21 on September 16, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from my high school thought Nazi was a city in Germany. As in Nazi, Germany.
[deleted] · 65 points · Posted at 04:11:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Taylor swift...she lives five minutes from me and she tried to claim a public road as her own. Cut the shit lady our tax payers were here before you were.
kylemaoin · 8 points · Posted at 17:32:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm gonna need to hear more about this story.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 17:00:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you serious. The world needs to know about this.
StacheKetchum · 4 points · Posted at 22:03:38 on July 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
You are a bad person for not elaborating in four months.
JosephFourier · 1 points · Posted at 11:08:35 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Doesn't this violate the rule about posting personal information
PizzaLova · 2 points · Posted at 17:35:57 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Late, but no because she is a public figure.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:13 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope because Taylor Swift doesn't go by the rules. Lol
Seliniae2 · 23 points · Posted at 23:01:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The only real stupid person I've read in this thread is Kevin. Everyone else just sounds ignorant.
DqChu823 · 237 points · Posted at 07:28:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A customer trying to order her food:
Her: "I want that dinner special, alleviate this item for that, alleviate that item for this."
[let her complete her order]
My: "Hmm, pardon me, but did you say alleviate? If I'm thinking correctly it means to-..."
Her: "To substitute. Trust me, I'm a head cook at my job and I use this type of terminology all the time."
Me: "But, I believe it means to "make less severe." This is something medical professionals use. For example--..."
Her: "To replace something on your dish for something you desire. You have it wrong. SEE?! WE LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY! Put that in your dictionary and show how informed and learned you are."
... wut.
WhiskeyCup · 112 points · Posted at 12:48:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your mistake was trying to correct her.
IAmAMagicLion · -2 points · Posted at 20:28:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
*You're was trying to correct her.
proper_pimper · 9 points · Posted at 22:15:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
*Idiot
JackTheJill · 4 points · Posted at 05:08:52 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
*or sarcastic genius...why the fuck is an asterisk in front of my post? why is it in front of the others?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:15:49 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
*Whaaaat's happening?????
[deleted] · 18 points · Posted at 00:35:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
How the fuck did you last in the service industry if you tried to correct every dumbass thing a customer said?
DqChu823 · 10 points · Posted at 00:43:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I see what you're saying, and I don't disagree with it.
But you get bored on slow days. Sometimes I may ask certain things or prod them to see what type of reaction I might get just for the fun of it.
Edit: also, I almost never (if that makes any sense) correct people, unless I really didn't appreciate a certain comment such as racial slurs.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:34:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fair enough. I can see why you would on slow days, I've just never worked a service industry gig where I HAD slow days sadly...
And you're definitely a better man than me, I correct people all the time. If they're just wrong I do it privately and in a friendly way, but I can't stand to see some idiot I facts spread.
DqChu823 · 2 points · Posted at 01:59:22 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey I envy you. I'd rather have NO slow days than to have them. Though, every day you'll have a slow hour like Mondays 3-4 PM where NO ONE is around / still at work / picking up kids at school. So there's some time to shoot the sh*t with customers :P
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:19:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're right, waiting tables I liked to be busy, more tips and the time went faster. Washing dogs while working the front though? Hell. Absolute hell. A 12 hour day filled with frantic washing, wrestling struggling dogs, and the barking... oh the barking...
DqChu823 · 2 points · Posted at 02:31:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dude, try sitting up front with a clock in front of you, with no customers in sight for the past hour. Oh god. I want to punch myself.
Sheesh, sometimes I have to walk around, find something that I can clean (like shakers, sugar boxes, dirty menus and checkbooks).
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:42:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah yeah, my friend complained about that when she was a hostess at a restaurant that was always dead.
Zudane · 6 points · Posted at 20:40:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to look it up, curious if there is perhaps another meaning of alleviate...
b : to partially remove or correct <measures taken to alleviate a labor shortage>
It's not 100% accurate to what the customer said - hell it really isn't 60% accurate, but it would make as much sense as saying "correct the mushrooms for onion".
By technicality it might just work, even though it wouldn't be right.
DqChu823 · 2 points · Posted at 23:50:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oops, forgot to reply to you.
I mean, yes, you could actually use that definition and get away with it. I definitely understood what she meant (otherwise she would be yelling and screaming at me if the order was wrong). But the way she used it makes sense, but doesn't sound correct. Like in Spanish, if you were to say "My name is...", you can't say "Mi nombre es...", but rather "Me llamo es...". If I were to say that en España or any Spanish-speaking country, they would understand, but under their breathe they'd call me un chino tonto, o un gringo.
If she was foreign, I'd shut my mouth, because I give the foreign customer much more credit for trying to speak a different language. But because her English was at a native level, I tend to be more unforgiving on word usage.
Haruon · 4 points · Posted at 14:25:58 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hi there, I know this post is 5 months old, but I wanted to tell you that you can in fact say "Mi nombre es" in Spanish, for example, "Mi nombre es Pedro. And also you can say "Me llamo Pedro" but without the verb "es" because "llamo" is already the verb.
Source: I'm mexican.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 11:47:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this sounds made up or at least greatly altered
slapdashbr · 31 points · Posted at 14:11:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
are you tyring to suggest he alleviated some of the details?
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 13:41:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dont think you could make something this dumb up
DqChu823 · 6 points · Posted at 12:11:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can see what you're saying because this sounds so inane, it doesn't seem right, correct? (Although, both of us are in a thread that's asking for dumbest people we've met). As someone who works in a Chinese restaurant (and not some take-out only place but with a full dining room and bar), I have seen so many stupid and ignorant people in my life, that I've become numb to everything they say. Maybe I should start writing each dumb comment I've heard and post it on a FML / Texts from Last Night-esque website.
I_AM_NO_MAN_ · 2 points · Posted at 18:41:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did she at least pronounce it learn-ed?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:52:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
and you just stayed quiet after this? hah
DqChu823 · 2 points · Posted at 21:21:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The conversation was longer, but it was 2 minutes of her bestowing her wisdom, while unintentionally cutting me off every sentence.
... I just let her keep talking as other customers stared at her oddly.
rockthirty · 2 points · Posted at 18:59:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I work with someone like this. It hurts to be around that much dumb all the time.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 13:49:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should have told her you were alleviating her for a smarter customer...
Coregan · 1 points · Posted at 16:43:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please tell me you socked her across the face.
tesh5low · 1 points · Posted at 19:39:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha that made me laugh.
theknightinthetardis · 1 points · Posted at 01:11:30 on April 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was that Amy
DownWithTheShip · 0 points · Posted at 23:05:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You knew what she meant.
She wasn't being abusive.
Just take her order.
mmiller2023 · 0 points · Posted at 17:14:18 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's an idiot, and from what you typed im guessing you are stupid enough to have done something similar.
DownWithTheShip · 0 points · Posted at 22:05:04 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm guessing by your response that you only interact with people on the internet.
mmiller2023 · 0 points · Posted at 22:39:09 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're a tad retarded aren't you?
DownWithTheShip · 1 points · Posted at 23:09:30 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel a connection with you. Do you feel it? I don't know what it is but the way you type is amazing! I'm proud to call you my friend.
Now that we're best buds, all these insults are flattering. I never knew you cared so much about me. It's like the girl in school you used to pick on, but you secretly were in love with. Well, i'm secretly in love with you. I will follow you to the ends of the earth. I will be there for you ALWAYS!
I'm carving your name into my arm right now. I don't have any blades, so i'm using a paperclip. Feel free to do the same with my name. I suggest a blade though, the paperclip hurts a lot.
Can't wait to go online tomorrow and see you. Not to worry, I know there are boundaries with every relationship and won't show up in every thread, but you can count on me being there.
My heart and soul are yours
XOXO
DownWithTheShip
mmiller2023 · 1 points · Posted at 23:27:45 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Get help
DownWithTheShip · 1 points · Posted at 23:35:30 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my god! I was just thinking about you.
Isn't that strange how sometimes the person you're thinking of suddenly calls you? Tell me that's not a sign?
Anyway, talking with Mike he wouldn't definitely like to meet you. I must have talked his ear off telling him about you. I'm not sure what days are good for you. Saturdays are best for me.
Let me know!
XOXO
DownWithTheShip
DownWithTheShip · 1 points · Posted at 23:42:53 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
As expected Jesse is nowhere to be found. I don't know what goes through his head. Doesn't he know he hurts his friends when he shuts himself out like this. Maybe he's depressed. I was depressed for several years and the only thing I wanted to do was sit at home all day watching tv. Took a while but I was able to overcome the depression. The meds the doctor gave helped a lot. Fortunately I only had to use them for 6 months. I would hate to be depended on them for life.
Maybe i'll send Jesse an email suggesting he go see a doctor. Hope I don't push him away even further.
Talk to you soon!
XOXO
DownWithTheShip
DownWithTheShip · 1 points · Posted at 23:15:50 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've been telling my friends about you. I hope you can meet them soon.
Jeff is a little abrasive, but given enough time I think you two will get along.
Mike is the friendliest guy you'll ever meet. He's a little shy at first, but next thing you know he'll be your (second) best friend.
Jesse is a little strange. He just sorta shows up when people least expect it. Nobody really knows when they'll see him again. If you're lucky you wont have to wait that long
Until next time
XOXO
DownWithTheShip
Iron_Nightingale · -3 points · Posted at 15:44:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL "alleviate" means "substitute"
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 16:02:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I bet she was fat and white
Mikarevur · -4 points · Posted at 18:47:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like it.
sexymanboobs · -1 points · Posted at 15:46:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On the topic of taking orders, I was at an Applebee's and overheard a lady pronounce tortilla with the l's. She did it multiple times and put emphasis on the word tortilla like it was fuckin funny. I wanted so bad to throw my plate at the back of he head.
Daimonin_123 · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Canada here. I don't think I've EVER heard anyone pronounce tortilla properly....
sexymanboobs · 1 points · Posted at 19:47:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sure she was doing it intentionally. Like she thought it was funny.
Daimonin_123 · 1 points · Posted at 20:02:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So she was intentionally pronouncing it the same (wrong) way everyone else does as a joke?
sexymanboobs · 0 points · Posted at 22:06:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No one pronounces it with the l's. Unless your in backwoods redneck Hickville.
millapixel · 1 points · Posted at 09:30:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Living in the UK I find that a lot of people pronunce the ls and a lot of people don't.
evylllint · 1 points · Posted at 16:23:50 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You don't say!
LeBatEnRouge · 749 points · Posted at 01:12:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A friend of my ex who is notorious for making poor choices was dating a soldier from Texas. I don't like to assume, but this idiot fit the bill for dumb hick; mostly because their response to ANYTHING even remotely off the beaten path or above a 5th grade level was "Well shucks, I'm just a hick from Texas. I don't know much. Just a country kid at heart."
There is NOTHING dumber than being dumb because you think dumb is the only thing you can be.
Pipstinkle · 89 points · Posted at 06:07:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a fellow southerner, I have heard this used quite a few times as kind of a detracting device/self-deprecating gesture. I think it's some kind of strange politeness thing, like saying "I don't have an opinion about that" or "I completely disagree with you and think you're an asshole, but I'm not actually going to say that to your face."
KillaDilla · 29 points · Posted at 10:32:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah that's what I thought exactly. Social cues! Pick them up!
somabrandmayonaise · 19 points · Posted at 13:43:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, bless your heart!
AislinKageno · 9 points · Posted at 15:28:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I am only a young girl unfamiliar with the ways of war," said Daenerys...
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 00:34:06 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, especially Texas and Kentucky in my experience. Its just like saying "whatever man, I wouldn't know I guess" but people assume its pride in ignorance.
Well, I guess its understandable to assume that, I seems lot of that here too.
catjuggler · 207 points · Posted at 03:53:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dumber is thinking you know everything when you're ignorant.
sumcpeeps · 8 points · Posted at 13:47:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or any typical 14 year old who thinks they know everything. I still cringe when I remember those years when I thought I had everything figured out.
The older you become, you realize you know less & less.
demostravius · 3 points · Posted at 21:38:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's depressing really, I am fairly smart and proud of that fact, but the more I read up on new topics the more I realise I know bugger all about pretty much everything.
sumcpeeps · 3 points · Posted at 21:51:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Trust me, it's even more depressing and surprising when you realize how often your parents were in fact, right! Just gaining experience from life as you age, and learning how to handle new situations, always humbles me.
I always thought I was pretty smart as well, I still think I am, but there are utter universes of things I know nothing about. However, it's never once made me want to stop learning. You'll get used to it as you get older.
demostravius · 3 points · Posted at 22:05:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have always wondered if my kids when I have some will think they know everything better than I do. Fairly sure they will and I look forward to smiling inwardly as they talk down to me while spouting rubbish.
sumcpeeps · 3 points · Posted at 22:36:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If they become normal teenagers, you will certainly have those moments where they think they know everything and you are lame. I think a good sense of humor is the best defense.
nojacket · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know is the smartest thing someone can say at times.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 04:02:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
catjuggler · 3 points · Posted at 04:08:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not using everything literally. I don't juggle every cat, but it feels like it.
Beebles1 · 181 points · Posted at 02:32:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm too much of an idiot to read that for comprehension. My bad.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 09:53:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
viper9172 · 1 points · Posted at 16:09:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just a country kid.
Beebles1 · 0 points · Posted at 18:42:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Actually, yes... Austin, Texas.
YEEEEHAWWWWWWW
Amaterasu-omikami · -1 points · Posted at 12:57:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
FTFY
cdoublejj · 3 points · Posted at 05:53:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
YOU MEAN I CAN GROW UP TO BE A DITCH DIGGER!?
LParticle · 1 points · Posted at 08:34:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes my boi, yes you can. pats
The_Sands_Hotel · 3 points · Posted at 10:07:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
“Oh captain, my captain.”
DDoubleDDose · 364 points · Posted at 03:05:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is it wrong I respect the guy for his honesty?
[deleted] · 43 points · Posted at 04:21:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I respect the honesty, but he should at least put some effort into learning more.
MLein97 · 3 points · Posted at 20:50:51 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I agree knowing that you know nothing is a very important concept in intelligence because you're able grasp the fact that there are knowledge gaps in your mind that need to filled instead of just not thinking about it or speaking on topics you know nothing about. I just wish that the person would try and fill the gaps by internal drive instead of just ignoring them.
LeBatEnRouge · 15 points · Posted at 04:01:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Doesn't make a difference, but it was a woman.
Black_Ash_Heir · 23 points · Posted at 15:37:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You did a remarkable job at making everyone's gender completely ambiguous in your comment. Not a gender-specific pronoun to be found.
FoxtrotZero · 2 points · Posted at 01:48:58 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Respecting his honesty and his self-awareness it alright.
Still a stupid way to go about life, if you ask me.
DDoubleDDose · 2 points · Posted at 03:31:37 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hell yeah, but at least he admits it. I think it's dumb but at least he knows it and that means he can fix it if he wants.
dcrouse · 2 points · Posted at 16:44:14 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
People use it as a cop out.
hurpington · 1 points · Posted at 20:29:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like a pretty cool guy
geekmuseNU · 0 points · Posted at 13:30:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honesty is one thing, but using it as a cop-out is another
Chameleon432 · 1 points · Posted at 19:11:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel like he's just being humble.
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 12:05:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's probably because he actually thinks what you're saying is dumb and he's being polite about it.
ScramblesTD · 5 points · Posted at 13:14:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...I'm not ashamed to admit I've used that line before.
Somebody asks you a question you don't feel like answering? "I don't know much about that. Ain't got much need for it in the country."
Of course this only works when you're dealing with yankees.
Jorgwalther · 3 points · Posted at 19:26:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That Texan hick is Socratic as fuck.
FootInFlonk · 2 points · Posted at 16:16:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm a high school teacher and this is my new maxim. I'm putting this up on the wall. Thank you, LeBatEnRouge.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:14:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, he could probably be 1 million times worse. Like, 'Jesus was white' worse.
Jaegster · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least this guy is honest.
bertlayton · 1 points · Posted at 05:30:13 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Meh, not everyone has the capacity to be smart. What pisses me off are people that think they're insanely smart and are actually really stupid. Basically the Dunning–Kruger effect.
CanadianJogger · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
An American friend of mine said that he was disparaged by his family for seeking an advanced education. Their attitude was that doing so was disrespectful of his ancestors. They had been farmers and he should be too. He was being "uppity" by aspiring for more.
It seems that their attitude was that you should climb no higher than your ancestors, and their hard work was not to provide you with shoulders to stand on.
root_pentester · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really hate people that take pride in being ignorant. I grew up in Louisiana and in college I had an English professor jump all over a student for saying something along those lines you put. Our professor snapped back in a harsh tone, "Don't ever take pride in being ignorant" right back to the guy saying that. The whole class got silent.
Irishperson69 · 0 points · Posted at 08:07:59 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
He was actually making fun of you
BadgersForChange · -1 points · Posted at 06:02:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Being that I hail from the city, I must concur.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 15:59:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ugh that sentence tasted like shit
HueGeeRection- · 1797 points · Posted at 23:59:06 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl I knew used to rewind YouTube videos so "the next person wouldn't have to wait."
I simply tipped my fedora and let her carry on.
theHorrible1 · 611 points · Posted at 00:30:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really hope you are bullshitting...
HueGeeRection- · 424 points · Posted at 01:17:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I kid you not. She was new to the country, very nice girl.
5k1895 · 500 points · Posted at 01:20:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So the fedora part was true too?
FOTBWN · 627 points · Posted at 01:21:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He swore on his neckbeard it was.
temaj · 31 points · Posted at 06:55:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That thick, luscious, well kept beard.
Lusciousness · 4 points · Posted at 17:15:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Describe it again for me. With all the adjectives.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 23:42:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lucius. Hail Grammatik!
AustinThompson · 5 points · Posted at 12:01:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
m'lady.
CrimsonCoast · 2 points · Posted at 12:14:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
-myladyyyy-
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:54:46 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
gasps Maybe... Maybe even on his katana collection?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:23:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
DAE M'LADY EUPHORIC NECKBEARD?? FREE UPBOATS PLZ LOL
Provlovskee · 10 points · Posted at 06:03:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
it's a trilby
BVTheEpic · 3 points · Posted at 22:01:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
filthy casuals
ionlyeatburgers · 30 points · Posted at 07:26:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I heard that there is internet in other countries now, too.
sadzora · 12 points · Posted at 10:14:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey did ya know? America is not the only country with electricity, television and the internet. Hell there's even airplanes and escalators in some o' dem dar foreign parts. I can assure you that any girl new to the country has already used the internet in her daily life. Probably since birth.
You are in fact bullshitting, it's really obvious.
downvoted_your_mom · 2 points · Posted at 07:49:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
no, no, no, not that part.... you actually have a fedora?
cdoublejj · -2 points · Posted at 05:49:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that makes sense maybe she wasn't familiar with stuff like computers and internet.
cronos844 · 2 points · Posted at 10:41:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know fedoras went out of style 60 years ago.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He is.
_aladynevertells_ · 296 points · Posted at 01:10:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
hahahaha. Even though it's beyond ridiculous, that's actually really sweet.
[deleted] · 63 points · Posted at 00:22:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
spurning · 1 points · Posted at 14:21:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm having a bad day...I read this as "rape tental".
I need to go back to bed.
Uncombustible_Lemon · 1 points · Posted at 07:26:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Am I the only one that said this in an accent?
blakkattika · 10 points · Posted at 16:03:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tipped your fucking what
johnmichael956 · 11 points · Posted at 05:50:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel like she might of clicked a link that was led to a Youtube video with something like =54s in the link, so it was fastforwarded a little bit, and she was like what the fuck? Or she's dumb.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:06:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's kinda dumb either way...
AsianDomination · 2 points · Posted at 21:00:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was little I would only watch he same movie every once in a while because I didn't want the actors to get tired from acting out the movie again.
sesquiup · 2 points · Posted at 02:17:58 on August 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Be kind, rewind.
ShamelessDistraction · 3 points · Posted at 05:37:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Be kind, rewind.
Kakkuonhyvaa · 1 points · Posted at 14:42:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jack Black!!
Olioliooo · 2 points · Posted at 11:52:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I guess she grew up with VHS?
penguin113 · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I consider myself a good man; I never rewind the ads.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:56:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As a former video store clerk I applaud this girl for her courtesy, kindness and rewindness. True or not, I'd like to think that the next YouTube video I see has been pre-buffered by the user before me...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:18:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I approve
wishihadallama · 1 points · Posted at 22:16:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least she tried being nice...
BaronBifford · 1 points · Posted at 22:21:43 on May 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
I like this girl. She is considerate. Ignorance can be corrected easily; dickheadedness, not so much.
Chezler · 1 points · Posted at 09:03:35 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tipping intensifies
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:04:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This reminds me of when I convinced a girl that Europe used the "metric time" system.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At least her heart is in the right place
Xanethel · 0 points · Posted at 13:06:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'll just leave this here
TerminalReddit · 0 points · Posted at 13:36:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well if you have only used vhs... it makes... sense...
slapdashbr · 0 points · Posted at 13:55:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
be kind, rewind
naughtydreams · 0 points · Posted at 14:51:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
she's so hipster, she uses youtube the old school way
mindoutrage · -1 points · Posted at 06:25:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that one gave me a literal HAHA.
been like three hours since my last one.
thanks yo
PerogiXW · -1 points · Posted at 11:15:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow. She's as dumb as your taste in headwear is bad.
brucetwarzen · -1 points · Posted at 11:27:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend used to rewind dvds. He was not dumb or anything, dvds were just brand new, and we were the kind of assholes that never told him
ksanthra · -1 points · Posted at 15:08:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This cannot be true. Other countries also have the internet.
solwGer · -13 points · Posted at 01:18:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you serious?
If you say yes, Ill loose my faith in humanity.
Bacon_Hero · 3 points · Posted at 03:37:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How can we tighten it back up?
Jettrode · 5 points · Posted at 03:38:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kegels.
solwGer · -1 points · Posted at 06:01:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
First of all: Get ne out of my shower.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 01:27:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
solwGer · 4 points · Posted at 01:33:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats me.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:03:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
dont worry James bond will come in and hold you
joshkg · 2 points · Posted at 02:12:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can James Bond hold me too?
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 02:46:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was talking about the next person to use the computer...
If they happen to want to watch that same video they don't have to wait for it to buffer.
spicyameatball · 40 points · Posted at 04:42:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roomate just said the big bang theory is when all those babies were being born.....he was 100% serious. Didnt have the heart to tell him that hes thinking of baby boomers after ww2.
theLoveGiant · 3 points · Posted at 07:12:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You've never heard of the big baby bang boomers?
coookiecrisp · 3 points · Posted at 16:32:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
*Big Bad Beetle Borgs
theLoveGiant · 0 points · Posted at 00:30:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lol sure
[deleted] · 57 points · Posted at 10:06:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
J63M · 11 points · Posted at 11:56:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Current Army Cadet here.
Holy shit. The Starbucks thing actually struck me dumb for a few seconds. How was he still in the Cadets after the LSW thing, let alone bombing your CO with coffee on Remembrance Day?
frenehld · 7 points · Posted at 10:59:03 on September 8, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like Moon Moon joined up.
artteacherthailand · 4 points · Posted at 05:03:07 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jesus Christ.
artteacherthailand · 4 points · Posted at 05:03:30 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jesus Christ.
redebekadia · -4 points · Posted at 22:33:27 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why is his race relevant to this story?
[deleted] · 205 points · Posted at 01:25:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I might as well post here too. In freshman year, about 2 whole months into our new classes, I came into class one day to meet a girl I'd never seen before. She looked familiar, though. I sat down and not so long after, she took her seat next to me. A few minutes later, I overhear her talking with some friends saying, "Yeah, they told me if I skipped one more class, they're kicking me out of school. Bullshit! What kind of a place is this?" That's right. She skipped two whole months of first period and had the audacity to complain about almost being kicked out of school.
TheDutchNorwegian · 18 points · Posted at 11:56:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, the life we have as uni students. Nobody gives a fuck if I dont show up in class.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 19:46:59 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in high school, my algebra 4 class was split - we were in class for a half hour, then went to lunch, then came back to class for an hour. Well, there was one point where there was something intrisic to the material (that was apparently supposed to be covered in ALG3, but they didn't get to it in my class) that I was struggling with. So I stayed after class to ask for help from the teacher.
After a long, exhaused sigh, he grabbed my sheet and said "Well, first you'd move this here, and then this here... seriously, you just do it. Get outta here."
I was pissed, and didn't come back from lunch that day. Or then next. For almost 2 months, I would come to class for the first half hour, go to lunch, and just not come back. Until one day, as I got up to go to lunch, he stopped me and asked me to have a word with him. I sat down.
"Legato," he said, "Have you been coming back to my class after lunch?"
Me: "Errr..."
Him: "Because according to my records, you haven't come back the last... 2 days."
Me: "Darn. Yep. You caught me. Two days."
Scenter101 · 6 points · Posted at 12:53:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think the real idiot here is the school administrator that wanted to kick her out of school for skipping school.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 09:06:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's entitlement, not stupidity.
sxy_bcn · 73 points · Posted at 14:48:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I once met in a gala event:
Her:"Israel is the most important country in the world because it financially supports the whole USA"
Me: "That's... mathematically impossible. Israel has 8M citizens, USA has 320M"
Her: "But we work way harder and have technology companies"
I gave up trying. She started crying because she "was right"
Dune17k · 5 points · Posted at 17:52:46 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dat challenged worldview doe
bastocrat · 4 points · Posted at 17:56:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/conspiracy would like a word...
annapnut · -20 points · Posted at 21:54:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
you sound kinda dumb
Dune17k · 6 points · Posted at 17:52:29 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nice contribution to the discussion there, kid.
b90 · 521 points · Posted at 05:07:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Let's all remember that to a certain degree, a person not knowing something doesn't mean they're dumb.
Inkompetent · 29 points · Posted at 10:03:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But depending on how rudimentary that is it can be a good indicator.
buckus69 · 7 points · Posted at 17:57:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's a better indication of the education system in which they grew up in.
deathguard6 · 3 points · Posted at 05:06:10 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel if you both went to the same school this can be ignored if the majority of people at said school had the understanding of what ever was being discussed
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:03:37 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Catholic school grades 1 to 8. Great education by nuns. 1974: Grade 9 public school, advanced class English. Verbal report to class on "news." Stand up, start talking about Watergate indictments. Never heard word before. Pronounce it "in-dikt-ments." Class, teacher die laughing.
Only time in my life phonics failed me.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 11:41:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I love the way people believe common knowledge is that one movie you really liked and thought it was a classic
Oxidda · 3 points · Posted at 10:17:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
True, tho it does make me feel like a dumbass.
Maklo_Never_Forget · 3 points · Posted at 15:07:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
b90 · 2 points · Posted at 15:10:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes.
blakkattika · 3 points · Posted at 15:28:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're not captain of the remembering team so you can't make me do shit.
chemo92 · 5 points · Posted at 11:37:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
True, they aren't necessarily stupid. They are ignorant however.
PandaEatsRage · 4 points · Posted at 13:07:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One in every fun thread
empathetique- · 5 points · Posted at 16:04:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:58:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But it does mean I'm more smart
battraman · 4 points · Posted at 11:45:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ignorance can be fixed. Stupidity can not.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 12:08:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Depends on what you don't know...
robert_scatozza · 7 points · Posted at 13:29:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's why it's to a certain degree...
bigman0089 · -1 points · Posted at 17:39:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
these days, with so much information at available to us at all times thanks to the internet...
I just tend to assume that ignorance = stupidity, because if they actually cared to be correct, they could know the right answer.
RicksRevolver24 · -8 points · Posted at 12:26:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ladies and gentlemen, the dumbest person I have ever met!
Attempt_8 · 37 points · Posted at 04:54:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a girl in life sciences, who when asked what nutrients plants give us, said "salad". And was serious.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 09:39:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Must be why multivitamins don't work - they're far too tiny to contain very much salad.
QuaranteDeux10 · 3 points · Posted at 11:12:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I mean, she's not wrong...
woppo · 138 points · Posted at 08:02:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chris Grayling, Minister for Justice here in the UK and also my local elected representative. He just banned prisoners from being able to receive books. Really going to improve their rehabilitation and reintegration with society. I simply can't believe the abject stupidity of this.
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 09:33:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Never mistake malice for incompetence.
NotOJebus · 5 points · Posted at 13:53:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Got it the wrong way round there buddy.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 14:00:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You should uninstall that idealism before it corrupts your operating system.
NotOJebus · 12 points · Posted at 14:51:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The full quote is 'Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity'.
Key word, adequately. If it seems more likely that the person was acting maliciously, then it was probably malicious.
massevil · 7 points · Posted at 19:00:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But that's not the whole story…
Prisoners have library access (12 books at a time) and can purchase books with permission, it's to do with good behaviour and reward schemes in the prison so they aren't undermined.
Not saying it's the right way to go about it (there are other issues with it too, about sending clothing and such) but everyone's going nuts without understanding the whole story and claiming it's a total ban on books.
TulipTeddyBear · 5 points · Posted at 14:57:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You've got to be kidding.
TheCornishPirate · 6 points · Posted at 22:00:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Basically, packages with books in aren't received by prisoners. You actually have to send money to the prisoner so that they can buy the book from the prison/ get the prison to but the book. It is a ridiculous notion and all it does is save people opening a few packages to check for drugs.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:21:08 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or checking every square centimeter of every page of every book for the LSD.
Yes, this is a real thing, even celebrated in movies.
phoenixink · 3 points · Posted at 22:26:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's fucking awful. What is the point of that? They read more than the average person probably ever would. My brother is serving some time and I don't even know how many books he probably reads a month (and many of them are either quite dense or very long, or both.)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:57:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What possible reason could justify this? Why did he think that would be anything good? Who are all these people who did nothing to stop him? How did this come to pass? How is this legal? I have so many questions!
FireDiamondPoison · 15 points · Posted at 01:31:57 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I said that China was in Asia and four people in my class, including the teacher, were astonished. "But China is a country." I had to explain continents.
I had to explain to my mother that Egyptians aren't the same as Indians. India is a not a continent. The differences between Hindi and Arabic aren't like the differences between British English and American English. They're two completely different languages. Egypt isn't in the middle east. It's not even in Asia.
I am not a geography expert. I went to third and ninth grade.
Lostinuniverse · 33 points · Posted at 21:51:50 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My brother is a special case, I think he wins because he HAS a brain and CHOOSES not not use it, that makes him far worse than an actual idiot who had the misfortune of poor breeding. My brother. who we will call brother dearest...Is an evil monster of lazy cruelty and sheer stupidity.
he gave me as toddler a cigarette once.
My brother when he was a wee lad (7) helped my sister bring a horse into the living room of our house. an unbroken Arabian yearling, imagine a jumpy horse on crack, that is what they brought inside.
he once made his 8 year old sister hold up sheetrock to a ceiling on a ladder while he hammered it in...he was 6'7" and 18 he also walked away for a while while i held it up.....stuck.
He once got chased by a hummingbird. terrified out of his mind.
He had a habit of being a douchebag to his friends, couch surfing from place to place until they forgot what he did to them and would repeat it.
He once introduced my mom to a psychotic biker ( he had just gotten out of the AU version bellevue and my brother knew) who began to stalk her when he forgot his meds, poisioned my mom, had screaming fits where he broke shit and slit my cats throat.
He helped that biker blow his friends car up one night, side note the biker got his face burned up and is the same guy with the dog treats from above.
He forgot to pay a phone bill of $8000 and got arrested.
He forgot to renew his visa and got deported from Australia and can't go back now.
He managed to run not one, not two but three seperate cars into ditches. and one into a fucking pond. THIS MAN IS A TRUCK DRIVER NOW.
He's a compulsive liar and falls for his own lies often.
He used to beat me up all the time and play innocent. he's 10 years my Sr. he did this until i was 16
he got lost in Disneyland Also on the way home from school once, pre school. (he was chatting with a gardener on the school grounds)
He used to be afraid of having his hair touched, he'd scream if anyone tried to wash his hair or cut it.
He knocked up three women before marrying an abusive woman who closely resembles jabba the hut and takes care of her 5 kids.
He did hard drugs and stole constantly from my mother and sold my game-boys to feed his addiction. lying when he was caught, he'd try to convince you your own memory was wrong and he was right.
my brother thought he was a warlock when he was 20. He thought it was cool to paint his thumb nails black with silver flecks.
My brother hated america and religion, until he hit about 28 when he became a christian, he told me originally it was "just in case" as in well IF god exists i better be on his side when i cork it. He soon believed this lie so thoroughly he forgot it was just in case and became a bible thumper
and all american truck driver who said last time we spoke and i quote "you should be hung for treason" because i casually mentioned the iraq citizens not involved in the war (all 100.000) that died due to 9-11, as compared to our 9k or so (including 9-11 itself) the first comment to me in 4 years and the last.
He once kicked my cat into a window, it's not stupid necessarily but evil, that cat effing hated him.
He also let his dog get parvo and it died.
He tried to repair a vacuum cord while it was plugged in it caught fire.
He called CPS and got myself and him taken away for 2 weeks (him 16 me 6) because he didn't like mom calling the cops when he'd go mission for days to stay with a family of drug addicts and dealers, go around to shops and buy cigarettes and alcohol by lying about his age and generally being a dick. he also had this plan to get taken by CPS get adopted by the mother of the drug addicts household (a shack with 9 people two of which were 12 year old twins that were sluts and known as the hoover twins (as in vacuum) and make my mother pay child support to the mother. this was mostly the womans idea but he still did it. what pushed him over the edge and made him call CPS was mom going to all the shops to tell them he was actually 16 not 24. they were shocked. To this day i WISH SO MUCH i knew how he could convince everyone in the valley he was a 24 year old orphan millionaire who "forgot" his ID at home. HOW HOW HOW!!! IT BOGGLES MY MIND HOW THIS GUY COULD BE SO CLEVER AND SIMULTANEOUSLY FUCKING STUPID
My brother house sat for us over a weekend and we opened the door to find him asleep in the living room while the weakest most exausted cries were coming from one of the bathrooms. Our kitten had fallen in the toilet and was so exhausted and cold it could barely hold itself up any longer but was yowling loud as hell anyway, i assume it had been in there for at least a day given it's condition.
there are hundreds of more where he's even more stupid. I'll edit if i think of any or when i talk to mom next.
TaylorS1986 · 16 points · Posted at 23:57:05 on August 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your brother sounds like a psychopath.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 05:12:46 on July 15, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your brother is an sociopathick fuckin' asshole, inteligence doesn't count in this cases
flamedarkfire · 7 points · Posted at 14:24:14 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's not stupid, he's narcissistic.
xandran · 5 points · Posted at 15:04:21 on July 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
does he still live with you? and i think you win in this thread.
blurple77 · 31 points · Posted at 08:28:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dude I went to high school with didn't know that Chicago was in Illinois. But the best part is we lived in Illinois and our high school WAS 45 FUCKING MINUTES OUTSIDE OF CHICHAGO. WTF.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 19:56:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
blurple77 · 3 points · Posted at 20:04:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not Downers Grove, but close. Nice try. And I'm in college now anyway so I don't live there anymore.
Suppilovahvero · 2 points · Posted at 10:39:10 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Were the Americans thinking German schools didn't teach geography?
spaceeoddityy · 2 points · Posted at 18:24:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In high school I knew a girl who thought Chicago was a state.
bertlayton · 2 points · Posted at 05:32:55 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I lived overseas a bunch of my life and went to Miami once. On the plane my sister exclaimed "Hey we're in Florida!" and I responded "No we're in Miami". Turns out Miami isn't a State, but a city in Florida...
King-Jimmy · 44 points · Posted at 02:37:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who thought the world used to be in black and white, she thought colour only came in the 60s.
PotatoesMcLaughlin · 22 points · Posted at 06:01:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually asked my grandmother this when I was a kid.
sneezerachoo · 3 points · Posted at 11:43:14 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Me too!
available-username- · 5 points · Posted at 09:24:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
can you prove it other wise
Infinitedestiny · 4 points · Posted at 19:33:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...well shit
omnishant · 4 points · Posted at 12:23:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/calvinandhobbes
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:08 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you gonna link, link right to it.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:20:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah, she wasn't dumb, her dad also happened to have a son named Calvin.
TheR3VO · 2 points · Posted at 09:46:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How did she explain paintings pre 60s?
horrorshowmalchick · 3 points · Posted at 13:33:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They used to be in black and white as well... duh!
CutsLikeABuffalo333 · 2 points · Posted at 16:12:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
These were lyrics in a Lonely island short. Didnt think People actually thought that
WildDog06 · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You didn't realize Pleasantville was a documentary?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:28:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She'd be wrong; it was the late 30s, when The Wizard of Oz came out.
patguy14 · 2 points · Posted at 12:51:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was me when I was like four.
King-Jimmy · 2 points · Posted at 13:06:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She was 22
Durbee · 55 points · Posted at 05:46:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The cold call gent, who upon ringing my doorbell and trying to get me to switch electricity provider, would not take no for an answer. He refused to leave my property at first, then declared it was obvious my husband wasn't home to make the right decision for me, yelling "You'll be sorry for this! I'll be back for you later."
I took a little satisfaction when the cops brought him 'round for identification. Suck it, misogynist asshole.
Raion05 · 16 points · Posted at 12:30:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommate. I'm a lesbian and she asked me and my gf at the time what we use for birth control. She asked because she was convinced her "all natural" remedies to regulate her period is an effective form of birth control.
She also didn't know what day New Year's Eve was... So I told her December 32 and she accepted it.
She also killed my plants by just giving them fertilizer because she "didn't know plants needed water."
Can't make this up.
constable_dorfl · 13 points · Posted at 18:06:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Met a girl who said she wanted a nose job, specifically to get rid of her nostrils. completely. To close up her nostrils.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 19:33:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Upvote for being the first to make me laugh.
Ankylus · 14 points · Posted at 22:10:20 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
The absolute best high school football player I ever saw play in person was also probably also the dumbest person I ever met. To give you an idea how good he was, I saw Andrew Luck play in high school and this guy was better.
Coming out of high school, he couldn't read. OK, not necessarily his fault. Social promotions and all that. A major college football program arranged for him to take his SAT orally. He still only made the minimum score that you get for just writing your name on the paper.
But damn he was good! So, the major college football program got him into school anyway and arranged his schedule so as to keep him eligible.
Except, in his first semester there, he got into some legal trouble. The college was in a very rural area and he kept seeing cattle everywhere. And he knew enough to know that they were worth money. So he decided to steal one. In perhaps the most intelligent thing he every did, he reasoned that he would need some way to transport the cattle to the place of sale. So he stole a truck and a trailer.
Somehow, he got somebody's bull into the stolen trailer. I don't understand how he could have done this, because bulls aren't very compliant. Perhaps it was real young, or he lured it or something. That might actually have been his greatest intellectual achievement. Or maybe he stole the truck and trailer already loaded with the bull. The story came to me a little fuzzy on this point.
But once he gets the bull in the trailer, he realizes that he doesn't know where you actually sell cattle. He's a city boy, after all, and he unfortunately just didn't think that far ahead. But, he apparently figures there must be lots of places to do that since there are so many cattle around. So he starts driving all over the county in the stolen truck and stolen trailer looking for a place to sell the stolen bull.
And, of course, the police catch him red-handed in the act of driving around looking for someplace to sell the stolen bull.
A sad story. Even the college football program couldn't keep him out of jail or in school after that. After he got out of prison, he went home and a couple of years later was killed in a drug deal gone bad.
sirjazzy · 13 points · Posted at 04:58:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
girl from highschool that thought that native Americans were extinct.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:46:19 on May 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
its pretty close in comparison
queenoftheblackpudle · 46 points · Posted at 02:15:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my exes. He bit into a onion ring at Arby's, I was surprised because he hates onions but then he announces to the whole table " There are onions in this!! I thought they were made out of potato!!!" He said stuff like this all the time...
Ucantalas · 34 points · Posted at 07:14:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Now I want potato rings. Just... Wow. I never knew I wanted something like that.
kroon · 10 points · Posted at 18:48:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you want curly fries.
kylemaoin · 2 points · Posted at 17:34:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...you know that'd just be a french fry in the shape of a circle right?
some-ginger · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:07 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe make German potatoes pancakes and stamp out the tender before frying. This sounds like a plan...
Professor_Hoover · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Potato scallops. Not rings, but close enough.
EmoKidSid · 3 points · Posted at 03:25:49 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a friend who ordered crab rangoon. As she was eating them she asked, "What are these orange bits? Carrots?"
"No, that's crab."
She responded with, "There's crab in this??!"
chubbybunny87 · 2 points · Posted at 08:33:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hahaha my brother did the same thing! BUT he was like 8 at the time.
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 04:24:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
man, how can you hate onions... no wonder he is your ex. I wouldn't stand for that.
boogitydogbutt · 28 points · Posted at 02:07:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Guy I worked with at the liquor store. Had a pregnant wife who obviously was cheating on him. He found out she had 2 VD's. He said "Well I'm gonna go get mah self tested and if I'm negative she and I are gonna have ta start wearin' condoms"
He also said the reason why he ate so many pork rinds is because he is part native american (his grandmother was a Cherokee princess...) and that native Americans genetically require more salt.
EDIT: I forgot about the golden time his wife tried to home-abort. She was in the hospital due to "complications" and he came in to work chuckling about the darndest thing his oldest daughter said. She said she wanted that drink that mommy drinks. She pointed out the laundry detergent.
Yourwtfismyftw · 7 points · Posted at 10:23:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's horrible! That poor little girl witnessing that!
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 04:59:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cherokee princess immediately gives it away
TaylorS1986 · 2 points · Posted at 23:54:40 on August 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like Appalachian hicks.
Angelofgeek · 0 points · Posted at 19:09:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
He might be onto something, my grandmother on my mothers side is native american, and my mother craves a lot of salt.
boogitydogbutt · 5 points · Posted at 03:49:06 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
.........
jgirlie99 · 44 points · Posted at 07:04:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommate, we'll call her Kim, was hands down the dumbest person I'd ever met. Once, we went to Little Caesar's to pick up pizza for everyone back at our house, so she called her boyfriend to see what he wanted. He says to her, "I want a pizza with half cheese, and half Hawaiian." She hangs up, and proceeds to order him a pizza with half cheese, and half Hawaiian... with NO CHEESE. I told her, "Kim, not sure that's what he had in mind..." to which she replied, "Um, I think I know my boyfriend better than you. If he wanted cheese, he would have asked for it" We got home, he opened his pizza, looked at her, and said, "Are you fucking retarded?"
She ran to her room and cried. We got high and laughed at her. Good times all around.
hey_catLAdy · 3 points · Posted at 21:53:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Best story here.
go0dvibes · -2 points · Posted at 04:58:07 on June 10, 2014 · (Permalink)
You don't sound like a good person.
jgirlie99 · 9 points · Posted at 05:44:30 on June 13, 2014 · (Permalink)
You sound fairly intelligent judging someone based on one reddit post... She was a bitch, so laughing at her was warranted. I'm fine with owning this lol
[deleted] · 60 points · Posted at 05:38:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
vadergeek · 11 points · Posted at 10:49:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was really, really bitter about it back then and just never got over it.
EntropyKC · 2 points · Posted at 13:06:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Isn't 10th grade before graduating class, i.e. he met her after the party happened? Maybe I misinterpreted the post
vadergeek · 3 points · Posted at 14:14:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is, but they would have been in the same grade and probably the same school unless one of them transferred in 11th or 12th grade.
LeGrandeMoose · 7 points · Posted at 10:53:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like a narcissist.
sumcpeeps · 3 points · Posted at 14:02:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she has early onset Alzheimer's or something, or was drunk and bitter at the time she read your page...or just really dumb.
battraman · 3 points · Posted at 11:48:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's really, really sad.
TulipTeddyBear · 1 points · Posted at 15:00:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Copy/paste the 6 paragraphs. For giggles.
delicious_ketchup · 1 points · Posted at 17:59:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Wow, they all aged so well!"
sufferingcubsfan · -2 points · Posted at 21:17:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister regularly posts facebook drama about people who talk bad about other people at white trash redneck bars where garage bands play to "crowds" of 20 people. Her latest husband, of course, is in one of these said bands.
She just turned 51.
maxohkc · 53 points · Posted at 02:48:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I used to work with was beyond stupid. Well that's what we thought until she scored a 30 on her ACT. Didn't believe it til I saw it. I saw her again a couple years later completely different person. I think in high school a lot of people pretend to be stupid just for a small bit of attention. It starts to go away as they mature and learn its probably not the beat way to get attention
missingsf · 5 points · Posted at 13:27:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You just described my sister. She adopted this ditzy personality all through middle school and in to high school. She grew out of it senior year and excelled in college, but for a while there she was willfully acting like an idiot for the attention.
TheSixthVisitor · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Remember, being knowledge stupid is not the same as being logic stupid.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:41:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man, I acted stupid in junior high and he first part of highschool because it is SUPER awkward telling someone you won't let then cheat off you because they're too stupid to not get caught.
Decron · 23 points · Posted at 02:55:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A girl I knew in tenth grade thought that Franz Ferdinand was a student at our school who got shot in a gang fight.
Edit: I swear his name was Francis.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 06:31:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I guess she's kind of correct.
Commissioner_Freeman · 5 points · Posted at 12:16:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do you mean Franz Ferdinand?
Decron · 2 points · Posted at 21:39:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, apparently I don't know who he is either.
Commissioner_Freeman · 2 points · Posted at 22:21:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't worry. I only remember it because of the band.
flamedarkfire · 1 points · Posted at 15:44:48 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
TBF I think Franz is similar to Francis.
notthepapa · 78 points · Posted at 23:40:39 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
A head developer i had to work with who preached the Agile development method but was very bureaucratic himself. I hated working with him. He had no level of self awareness. The dumbest people are people who lack self awareness.
Pain-in-the-DayZ · 23 points · Posted at 04:16:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't think anyone without an understanding of the software development would get this.
For those who don't: The Agile method is a process for developing software that doesn't focus as heavily on documenting and planning as other processes like the Waterfall method.
beaverteeth92 · 4 points · Posted at 05:44:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So their code is probably completely unreadable?
Freddulz · 5 points · Posted at 06:10:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The reverse, actually. Because of the Agile structure, code gets passed to technical writers (like myself) and UI designers during development. Some tech writers and UI designers are able to call developers out on weird bits of code. Since they have to explain it to us before we can explain it/show it to users, they have to do a really good job with it.
At least, that's how it is with bigger software companies.
beaverteeth92 · 3 points · Posted at 06:15:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah wow. That's surprisingly interesting!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:55:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bigger software companies who can afford to hire dedicated tech writers and stuff work well with Agile. For smaller or more tactical teams, it seems just an excuse to not write any documentation, and to design as you go.
Pain-in-the-DayZ · 3 points · Posted at 13:30:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Depends on the discipline of the people programming. I have worked with a scrum team who were refactoring and updating internal tests. Some of the code was horrid as far as commenting, just took a bit of my time to understand, but they did uphold the naming standards.
Documenting is more than adding comments into the code it's also producing and maintaining a requirements document and a design document as well as other documents depending.
spoonclaymore · 1 points · Posted at 08:09:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This reminds me of one of our scrumasters. One thing she said that still gets joked about today was when we were talking about databases and she asked very seriously, "do we need databases?" Also the same person that was setting up her email account and as soon as she was done she didn't know what password she used.
Pain-in-the-DayZ · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha you should have told her to you could parse it into a .txt.
spoonclaymore · 1 points · Posted at 05:28:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
For sure. "Nothing like a flat file for all that data, amirite? HAHAHA!" but it would have been lost on her. This woman was supposed to be coordinating all of engineering but I thought of her as pigpen the way she used to drag her laptop power cable around behind her. Just a slow motion train wreck.
Oxidda · 2 points · Posted at 10:16:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Could you elobrate on that? Most Agile methods have a lot of built in bureaucratic stuff. Like scrum for example .
Kinectech · 11 points · Posted at 14:26:11 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lin fifth grade there was a kid who would always ask stupid questions all day. The most notorious was when we were all watching a nature thing and it showed a baby gazelle getting captured and eaten by a heyena. When the heyena ate the gazelle, the kid asked, "Did the gazelle die?" EVERYONE laughed so hard that our throats hurt. And the poor teacher nearly spit the water out of her mouth.
Patric13 · 12 points · Posted at 21:18:32 on July 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was little I wanted to be a lawn mower and I would pick the entire lawn with my hands
disco-nixon · 44 points · Posted at 06:46:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in grade nine named Jolie. I'm doodling Starry Night in my notebook and she comes by to say "oh wow you're so good at art - you could be Leonardo DiCaprio!" facepalm
She also was playing a game where she had to name countries. She started with Africa, then said Utah. After she said "oh sorry I'm not very good at geometry"
Worst part is SHE GOT INTO THE FUCKING IB PROGRAM!!!!!! I'm not fully sure she didn't hire someone to write her essay for her.
Kingofallpenguins · 8 points · Posted at 13:33:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm in the IB program and let me tell you it has nothing to do with intelligence... My god the stories I could tell
chilly_anus · 3 points · Posted at 16:31:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well you can start now..
qpLMBqp · 2 points · Posted at 20:24:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I go to an IB school. The school was built in the ghetto. Trust me, some of the kids there...
Nothing to do with intelligence.
ayyygeeed · 1 points · Posted at 14:15:05 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah I was in the IB program and I don't remember having to write an essay for it....anyone could be in it. Not saying anyone could pass it.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:25:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
ayyygeeed · 1 points · Posted at 19:29:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did the IB program. Pretty sure I know. I wrote an extended essay and took theory of knowledge and wrote all the essays. I meant I don't remember there being an essay to GET IN TO the program which is what I thought OP was talking about.
spaceeoddityy · 3 points · Posted at 16:52:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Once I accidentally said "Leroy Jenkins" instead of "Leonard Nimoy" and didn't even realize it until someone pointed it out.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:30 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
The IB program will let certain people in without testing for certain circumstances. Generally if you fail more than two classes you're kicked out, right?
xRabidDonutz · 12 points · Posted at 06:43:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met this girl when she was 16 in a med science class in high school. I took the class for free CPR certification, and regretted it every day I was in it.
She had a kid, which is not really the biggest deal to me, not really my problem. The issue is she made everything about her daughter.
When we were learning how to do infant CPR she argued with the teacher all class how she was wrong and trying to get her to kill her baby.
When talking about the importance of vaccines she insisted that the only reason the doctor urged her to vaccinate her kid was because they wanted her money(which, because she lived with her jobless boyfriend, was all welfare).
And the absolute worst part is, because she was allowed to miss more school than most to take care of her kid, she took full advantage of it, and the teacher was required to make a "separate"(incredibly dumbed down) test for her. She would brag about making an 85 on a test someone smart make an 80 on, not realizing her tests were made to make sure she pass so she can be pushed out of the school as soon as possible.
On the bright side, she did stop smoking and drinking when she got pregnant at 15. She started drinking again the day the baby was born, but she doesn't smoke around it.
rubberseatbelt · 10 points · Posted at 19:11:41 on June 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my high school was on a diet and at chocolate pudding because it "wasn't solid" so, therefore "it didn't have a lot of calories".
[deleted] · 250 points · Posted at 01:22:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OK lets see here:
Had lice visibly crawling through her hair but refused to believe me because "it's that same rumour from 2 years ago starting up again, how did you hear it?". How she couldn't feel them (and how I didn't catch them) I'll never know.
Had breath like a rotten corpse. When I confronted her hygiene issues, she yelled at me for being "Miss Perfect".
At 16 when she was already dating someone, asked the teacher what contraception was.
When I asked her why she wouldn't do work in class, she said "I'll just fail". I told her I don't want to see her fail and she said "It's my choice".
Couldn't say hospital. Still said hostible at 17.
Deliberately ran into a wall to get the group's attention.
Couldn't do a basic forward roll without falling sideways.
I knew a guy very similar to her. He asked me if America was in Australia, he couldn't spell Harry Potter in 6th grade, he spelled it "habty pobter". Same lack of hygeine as the girl.
My stepsiblings are 10 and 11 and can't read or tell the time, nor do they understand any of the films they watch. I showed Mulan to one and she was utterly clueless as to what she was watching, I don't think she even grasped what "Asian" was. I saw her watching Big Brother and asked her to explain it to me. "They're all actors". She started boasting about learning at school that nothing could be a liquid and a solid. I said "What about water?", she shoots me the greasiest look thinking I've just proved how dumb I am and I say "It can be frozen into ice" followed by her face immediately changing to utter shock and embarrassment.
The thing they all had in common is they all thought they were hot shit and smarter than everyone else. When I tried to teach my stepsister to read, she'd sit there laughing about how easy it was, despite not being able to pronounce anything.
mementomori4 · 228 points · Posted at 02:32:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That made me really sad. It seems pretty obvious that this girl had a shitty home life without people to help her learn about life and information.
giraffeneck45 · 52 points · Posted at 06:52:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
pretty clear case of neglect, clearly had head lice for two years, no-one to make sure she learned proper hygiene etc.
forkinanoutlet · 11 points · Posted at 11:33:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, really, being 16 and not knowing what contraception is seems like more of a failure on the parents' and the educational system's part, not hers.
Self-harm (even running into a wall) is almost always a cry for help and attention because the individual feels neglected or ignored by their social group.
The defeatist attitude of "Why work, I will just fail?" very likely came around because someone close to her (parents, teachers, friends) told her she was dumb and would never be able to succeed, and referring to it as her "choice" to fail seems like a really desperate attempt to gain control over something in her life.
It's the same reason a lot of people who have some form of mental illness retreat into drugs, over-eating, and other self-destructive tendencies knowing in full how dangerous they are; many of them feel like they can't control any positive changes in their life, so they attempt to control the negative changes instead.
I knew I would find a post in this thread that just made me feel bad, and this is the one.
That girl probably had some kind of mental illness and/or a horrible home life, but as teenagers, we can't see it for what it is, and we only see some dumb, gross jackass.
classactdynamo · 16 points · Posted at 07:33:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, we need to laugh at her because her ignorance is a moral failing rather than due to a sad home life...how dare she not be born into a nice family.
poopyboyswag · 40 points · Posted at 05:34:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm 20 and can't do a forward roll. Am I retard?
Muffin_guy · 10 points · Posted at 06:57:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Can you spell habty pobter?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:53:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, with her it just added to everything else lol.
LillaNissen · 2 points · Posted at 19:46:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe, you will have to show us first.
I promise we will not laugh...
DancesWithDaleks · 3 points · Posted at 10:14:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know children with special needs who can do forward rolls, please don't bring them down to your level! :P
Although if anyone cares, one group that for the most part can't do forward rolls is children with Down Syndrome. Weak necks.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:43:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
If that's a somersault, I'm right there with you man. 6'4 and about as flexible as a post, I have tried and it only ends badly for me.
CloveFan · 1 points · Posted at 16:43:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes. You is retard. :( So sorry.
[deleted] · 100 points · Posted at 01:26:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please, no.
[deleted] · 53 points · Posted at 01:30:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm still scarred by it. I had a suspicion for a long time so I worked up the courage to watch her hair for a few minutes while she was distracted. Took 10 seconds to see two.
blackcain · 13 points · Posted at 03:58:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where is this? I would actually believe there might be some mental health issues. Not sure about your stepsiblings though, but those other two seem to have something going on in the upstairs.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 04:02:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where, like location? Australia. Middle class suburbia.
blackcain · 2 points · Posted at 05:33:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ah, okay. Whew! I was going to say Arkansas. :)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:30:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 01:09:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
No offense dude! :)
kennerdoloman · 1 points · Posted at 03:35:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
-shudder-
hadehariax · 1 points · Posted at 15:01:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ugghhh awful. Now my head is itching.
LordZeya · 1 points · Posted at 15:59:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm fucking scratching my head now in paranoia, thanks a lot.
etree · 73 points · Posted at 02:15:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where do you live that 10-11 year olds can't read or even understand plots? My 3 year old sister understands most Disney movies we show her.
decimalsanddollars · 37 points · Posted at 06:04:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry we can't all be miss perfect.
_Z_E_R_O · 8 points · Posted at 14:08:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In an abusive home? I had a friend that worked with special ed kids in a public elementary school. She told me that some of them weren't actually mentally deficient, their home lives were just so bad they had the symptoms of mental retardation. She told me stories of six year olds whose parents sent them nothing in their lunch but Oreos and let them fall asleep on the couch every night watching Family Guy. I guarantee you these are the same kids who have a baby within a decade and either drop out or graduate as functionally illiterate.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 02:59:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why does everyone always assume bad things mean you live in some third world country? Kinda racist, even if you didn't intend it...
They live a comfortable white middle class life with enough money to be financially secure. They simply have a negligent mother who drinks instead of spending time with them.
blackcain · 6 points · Posted at 03:59:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't see anything that indicated some other country. But it is curious. Sorry to hear that their mother doesn't spend time with them.. some tutorial would go a long way I would think.
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 04:01:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The irony is she's a teacher. She just doesn't give a shit about them.
rahtin · 3 points · Posted at 04:41:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's hard to care when you drink to stop yourself from caring.
blackcain · 2 points · Posted at 05:34:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
:(
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:00:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A few comments below the point ITT where the comedy comes from the subjects, rather than the authors.
TheRandomkid321 · 12 points · Posted at 11:44:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some of these seem to not be directly her fault. As /u/mementomori4 said, she probably didn't have a very good home life. Or high self esteem. As evidenced by her claiming that her lice was a rumor, possibly because she has been bullied in the past and believed she was being bullied again.
Yelling calling you miss perfect might be because she sees herself as inferior.
Not knowing what contraception is might be because she never had a good parent who taught her about sex ed.
Her failing in class is a telltale sign of low self esteem, she might have once done good in school, but her grades declined as the years went on, perhaps she was never good at schoolwork, wither way it is clear she doesn't think she is capable of doing good.
The Hostible thing might simply be a word she struggles with saying, a lot of people have them.
Not being able to do a forward roll? Well fuck her for not being able to do something that will likely serve no purpose whatsoever and is not a test of intellect.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:11:51 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
She actually got her shit together a few years later with schoolwork and ended up being a B student. I don't know if everything else improved along with that but it showed at least part of her being the way she was was out of laziness. And nobody bullied her about the lice, she just refused to believe it. It took for her best friend to actually show her one before she got treatment.
The forward roll thing cost us a good mark in gym class. We showed her millions of times and she wouldn't even try properly so we didn't get the mark we could've.
TheRandomkid321 · 2 points · Posted at 01:21:01 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you certain she wasn't trying? Sometimes people just cannot do things which brings peoples marks down. For instance, I lowered my groups marks in Physical Education because I couldn't catch a ball, I tried but could not, I just kept cowering. It led people to think that I was just not trying.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:38:50 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I don't know. It just seemed very basic, I guess. Me and the other girl weren't gymnasts by any stretch and we both did it fine. One thing I'm picking up from the responses to my post is that these things as standalone incidents don't sound so bad. I guess she's someone you had to meet because everyone who knew her felt the same way about her. She was nice enough, just thick.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:51:58 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
She can't do a roll. Just because you can doesn't mean she can too. I can understand most of your issues with her, but for the last one, you're just a dick.
Wonky_dialup · 7 points · Posted at 07:13:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have no idea how to do a forward roll either probably, but I'm as agile as a wet mop.
Edit: also forgot to add I'm afraid of bugs I might have set her on fire if I were her classmate.
spugzcat · 8 points · Posted at 16:37:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This isn't dumb, this is the product of a shitty upbringing. As their sibling you have a responsibility for your brothers / sisters. I hope you can find the balls to help them out of this situation.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 00:42:00 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Another one who missed the "I TRIED HELPING HER LEARN TO READ". They live two states over and only visit for a weekend every month or so. No chance to really teach them anything and they've made it very clear they don't want to learn.
world_crusher · 3 points · Posted at 22:31:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You're mean.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 00:40:09 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
See the parts where I tried to help them only to be yelled at or insulted.
world_crusher · 6 points · Posted at 00:46:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those people are going to have shitty lives and an overall shitty existence. Most people know someone like that. I cant help but feel sorry for them, especially if they couldn't even take care of their own hygiene. It's sad. They are hostile because of bad parenting/home life.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 01:15:26 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, it is sad. It gets frustrating when they sass you for being concerned, though. But I get it.
rightintheear · 2 points · Posted at 16:11:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Developmental delays/deficits caused by neglect. Very sad.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:31:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On the topic of spelling, a classmate once asked me how to spell 'uracil'. I said "It's just U R A, cil. With a 'c'."
Teacher walked past and said "north_and_south you do realise he just wrote 'uracil' with a c on the end."
Turned around and sure enough on his paper was "uracilc".
In his defence he's not dumb at all, just a little too trusting in my spelling abilities and misinterpreted my lazy instructions.
wayfaringpirate · 1 points · Posted at 15:08:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That first girl sounds more ignorant than stupid. Maybe her parents were against any sex ed that wasn't abstinence, at least she asked. And maybe they weren't having sex anyway? You can't call someone stupid for not being able to pronounce a word. I couldn't say cinnamon for a long time. I knew I was saying it wrong. And the roll thing sound like a coordination issue, not intelligence. Can't comment on the lice though.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 00:46:05 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We have sex ed at school in Australia. I should've specified that every single thing that came out of her mouth was dumb or incorrect somehow. Things like mispronouncing just added to it. If it was just one aspect of an otherwise intelligent person, I probably wouldn't notice. But it was a chore just to be around her because of how much she didn't know.
I_AM_NO_MAN_ · 1 points · Posted at 18:37:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are forward rolls easy? I can't do them without almost breaking my neck.
UrsaPater · 1 points · Posted at 21:18:17 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
You have no idea the number of words like this I hear in this county. I live with stupid people.
l1vewire · 1 points · Posted at 04:44:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a 23 year old who still says hostible and renember. I pull her up on it everyone. It does nothing.
Roses88 · 2 points · Posted at 05:26:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Try punching her in the nose every time
zachm26 · 0 points · Posted at 07:39:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or throwing a puncher at her.yes this just got meta
ButtsexEurope · -2 points · Posted at 08:44:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Um it sounds like your stepsiblings might be actually retarded or brain damaged. I knew a 13 year kid who couldn't tell time because he was autistic. it sounds like the people you're listing aren't normal by any standards.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 13:36:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:58:25 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yep. She's 23 and happily married now, too.
Vertov_Bakunin · 9 points · Posted at 06:45:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had this film class with pop quizzes to test if we had done the readings. But on every test there was always at least one question that was a giveaway. On this one particular quiz, we had to name one historical event that happen in the 60s OR 70s. That wasn't exactly the question, but essentially that's what the teacher was asking for.
After we all finished, the prof would go through the quiz, reading off the questions to see how we did. No one had to say anything, she didn't read people's answers or anything it was totally voluntary. Anyways, we get to this question and this woman puts up her hand and says.
"I put world war 1 is that right?"
The first fucking world war. 1914. She had a twenty year fucking gap and she was off by a goddamn mile. I couldn't believe it. The professor, was stunned and after what seemed like an eternity just kinda whispered "...no"
I just wanted to get up and drop out of University right then and there.
rinnerchickendinner · 2 points · Posted at 19:06:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that's more than a twenty year gap....
PrismaLowell · 5 points · Posted at 09:18:29 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
1960-1979, that seems like a twenty year gap to me.
darynhuang · 10 points · Posted at 08:42:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have a friend's sister who thought one of my friends looks like a rhino so she told him: "Hey, you look like a rhino!" The guy, baffled, wanting to clarify what he heard hence he asked: "What? A rhino?" The girl responded: "Yeah! Like a rhinosaur!"
I also heard she mistakenly added "jr" onto her name when she applied for college classes because she thought it meant her grade level...
Deadjuice · 9 points · Posted at 15:26:01 on May 11, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My mother payed me a couple dollars a week for watering all her flowers and plants every day.
I found a PC mech game, the specs worked for my PC, and it was only a dollar. I had no PC games for my PC, and was super excited at this deal. I told her I wanted to buy it.
She looks on the back, and there is a quote that says "Eye popping graphics!" She freaked out and told me she wouldn't buy it because of the description. She was afraid that it meant that it could actually damage your eyes.
I, probably 12 or 13 at the time, tried to explain what box quotes are and why they say stuff like that, but she refused to believe me and wouldn't buy it for me, even though it was my own money.
Co-worker, some vapid bimbo, walked past my jeep, stopped, came up to my window and was like "Is that a cop radio? (she meant like a CB radio). "No, it's NPR, it's a talk show." I explained.
"What?! Like, why would you listening to people just talking? That's stu-pid!"
I didn't bother explaining.
He stuck a T-handle Ripcord up his ass and tried to rip his own butt like a ripcord car.
SingingMunchkinMam · 10 points · Posted at 06:02:10 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Late to the party, but I was friend with twins in high school. One of them just graduated nursing school to be a physical therapist and she's doing great. Her sister however, got the looks. Not the brains. • In the 10th grade, she asked the teacher how to spell CPR. Legitimately asked. • She set herself on fire twice, once in science class leaning over a Bunsen burner trying to light it, the other time flirting with a boy at winter formal and she leaned too close to a candle, igniting her hair. She didn't even notice until people around her panicked, then she only cared about if her hair still looked okay. • I'm Mexican, and we had Spanish class together. We were allowed to bring chips and salsa to class every Friday. One of these days, I'm sitting at my desk chilling out with my food when she comes up to me and asks what I'm doing. "Oh not much, just eating the food of my people." She thinks way too hard for a minute then replies, " Oh, Indian?" Soo many instances. She was so funny without even knowing it though.
Vomix · 9 points · Posted at 12:25:40 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
My high-shool biology teacher used to have a joke that he told about how since "mammary glands are modified sweat glands, you could say that drinking a glass of milk is almost like drinking a big glass of sweat." In one telling of this joke, one of the girls in my class, clearly disgusted, responded with "Ewww...gross! Is orange juice the same way?"
This same girl, I later discovered, was under the impression that getting milk from a cow involved having to kill the cow.
Quilled · 25 points · Posted at 09:21:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl i knew asked me this: if there are astronauts on the moon. And the moon becomes a half-moon. Do they have to run over to the light side so they don't fall off?
First time I've been stunned by stupidity. Took me maybe 10 minutes to explain to her how the suns casts fucking shades.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 11:31:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ex girlfriend was beyond dumb:
"We can't have sex on the beach because if I get sand in my pussy I'll get kidney stones"
dmenc · 8 points · Posted at 19:59:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my English class. "9/11 was when two planes crashed into the Eiffel Tower, which is in New York, right?" She was dead serious
Topazzepony · 8 points · Posted at 06:28:20 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was this guy in 9th grade who spent nearly three hours trying to understand the difference between longitude and latitude. It took three teachers to try and make him understand, obviously annoyed, but he kept coming back at them saying "But doesn't--" or "But the book said--"
grumpycatabides · 8 points · Posted at 13:12:56 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a senior in my freshman physics class. He was taking the class for the 4th time and still couldn't pass it. Pretty sure he couldn't even read. How do people like this keep getting promoted up to the next grade? Oh yeah, his dad was a cop and on the school board. Sad, really. No one should get a HS diploma if they can't even read it. It's not doing them any favors.
Worked with a guy who complained about a specific indicator on a piece of equipment in a lab. There were tick marks for every increment and every 5th tic mark was labelled - you know, like a speedometer. He complained that there was a label for 10 and a label for 15, so "how am I supposed to know when it's at 12?". I have no idea how he got an engineering degree. He stormed out of the lab but not after demanding a replacement "that works" and "has numbers on it" (digital). He must have a difficult time driving.
mrmccl04 · 7 points · Posted at 17:37:44 on August 15, 2014 · (Permalink)
While a classmate was giving a presentation on a yellow posterboard in high school, a guy raised his hand and very seriously asked how long it took to color the entire posterboard yellow. He pooped his pants not once, but twice at football practice. And at the pinnacle of stupid things, he was arrested for growing weed in a public park.
NWSlushi · 39 points · Posted at 04:45:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Created a user account.
Password has a "d" in it.
He locks himself out, tells me over the phone he couldn't find the "backwards b."
agow · 2 points · Posted at 14:46:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I just stared at my screen for 5 minutes losing all faith in humanity.
JustOnMyWayOut · 48 points · Posted at 01:51:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked with a sweet young lady who confessed that it wasn't until after college that she realized that gasoline wasn't 87, 89, or 93 cents per gallon.
And yes, it was because she was finally paying for it herself instead of using "daddy's" credit card.
catjuggler · 28 points · Posted at 04:03:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I got confused there because that's how much gas cost before I went to college
Creature_73L · 22 points · Posted at 09:51:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
everyone point and laugh at the old guy on the young peoples internet. jk
Wife-B-Gone · 4 points · Posted at 20:23:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Same. I remember when it hit a dollar, and I was like damn I will have to start walking soon. This was in the 1990's, I'm not that old!
JustOnMyWayOut · 2 points · Posted at 05:24:10 on March 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was a confession on her part (this was 2008 btw), so to make her feel better I told her that were she my age she would have been correct...even if that was the octane rating.
I remember when there was just one gas station left in town that was selling it's low-grade for $0.99 per gallon. It was their gimmick, and they kept it going until 1992. (or maybe 1993) As a broke college graduate I loved them. I would plan out my "miles left" to ensure I had enough to make it there before running out.
InTheLifeOfAThrowawa · 2 points · Posted at 03:59:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
depends on when she graduated college...
little_o · 2 points · Posted at 10:25:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It costs the double of that per litre here in Germany :(
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:57:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is the best one yet....
IAmTotallyNotHere · 1 points · Posted at 03:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
93 is CHEAP
chemistry_sucks · 94 points · Posted at 00:21:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A moron in my English class asked, "Was William Shakespeare real?" Upon finding out he was, she asked, "Is he still alive?"
[deleted] · 194 points · Posted at 00:48:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
sadzora · 50 points · Posted at 10:30:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For shakespeare we have extensive records on who his family was, where he was born, we have official papers that he signed like contracts, we have the grave of the good man and his actual body.
William Shakespeare was very much real and the only doubters are a small fringe group. Kind alike how ancient alien specialists keep on challenging egyptologists but no-one really takes them serious.
FUZxxl · 10 points · Posted at 11:55:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry. It might be that my impression on this topic was wrong.
ssjkriccolo · 4 points · Posted at 12:27:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are records with his name spelled differently and in different hand writing, but even that that can easily be explained (like maybe he isn't the only one who ever wrote his name) . However that is enough to get conspiracies going.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 12:38:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People misspell my name all the time...I wonder if in a few hundreds years there will be a conspiracy if I was real or not.
smikims · 3 points · Posted at 11:01:22 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was extremely common back then. Standardized spelling just wasn't a thing, at least for names IIRC. You just spelled it like it sounded.
ssjkriccolo · 2 points · Posted at 13:56:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can imagine the Artist formerly Known as Prince going to town.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:26:10 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
The correct apology form in this situation is as follows: This.
The 70s. Good times.
TheCornishPirate · 1 points · Posted at 22:42:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I go to Shakespeare's school. AMA
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:56:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thank you. And a very good analogy.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:04:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Might you link to some of this info? I have been falsely lead to believe that it was either a pen name or that it was a group of people. Now I feel stupid.
sadzora · 1 points · Posted at 08:04:22 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
any google search should turn it up. even the wikipedia page on him should do.
GovmentTookMaBaby · 2 points · Posted at 18:17:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Good Man? The guy abandoned his family because he was tired of being tied down. He was obviously one of the greatest writers of all time, but a good man he was not.
Also have to admit I don't think comparing a known individual to ancient alien specialists is a great comparison to validate your point, although it is valid (the shakespeare part)
sadzora · 1 points · Posted at 08:03:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fair point, he wasn't a good guy.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:34:31 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
You obviously didn't see the 10 year documentary the Sci-Fi Channel ran about Doctor Daniel Jackson.
faithfuljohn · 5 points · Posted at 05:08:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Based on no actual evidence, might I add. (and before I hear it, doubt is not evidence)
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:26:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. "Many scholars" do not believe this.
AltairsBlade · 1 points · Posted at 09:50:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or a group of playwrights working together.
Miglin · 1 points · Posted at 12:43:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or several someone elses!
cdoublejj · 1 points · Posted at 05:59:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
not only this on front page not too long ago was post about other ancient people/philosophers who possibly may not have been real as well.
ghostfox1_gfaqs · -2 points · Posted at 04:42:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yup. I think Lord Byron (iirc, I could be very wrong) is one such person who's been thought of as the person behind the name.
OhHowDroll · 7 points · Posted at 07:11:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure there were more than 200 years between the lives of two, so I doubt that he'd be a possible candidate for Shakespeare, but (and I could be very wrong here too) I think he might be a potential suspect in a different case of an author going by a pseudonym
striker111 · 4 points · Posted at 07:59:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Close. You're thinking of Sir Francis Bacon.
AdmiralAtLaw · 2 points · Posted at 11:49:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
BAAAAAAAAAAAAACON
HiG33k · 3 points · Posted at 07:11:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lord Byron was of the romantic period, some ~200 years after Shakespeare's period.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 07:37:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:25:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shakespeare didn't show 'much knowledge about far away lands'; his European plays took after innumerable contemporary English dramatic descriptions of "corrupt Catholic city states", or were based on ur-plays already set in particular locations (like the Danish-set ur-Hamlets that go all the way back to Saxo Grammaticus). I mean, have you actually read any other Early Modern English drama?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 18:34:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:25:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I am perfectly happy. Your post seemed sneering and obnoxious, and I just wanted to take you down a peg for laughing at academics when you clearly have no domain knowledge whatsoever. That's all.
Incidentally, the whole "aww you mad" reply gambit is a bit out of date by a good two years or so. You should try something new and wittier. Come to think of it, you might actually get some ideas from reading more Shakespeare.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:52:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:57:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or much else, it would seem.
[deleted] · -7 points · Posted at 03:41:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are few descriptions of him, but I remember one journalist (or whatever) described him as very tan and had big lips. I really want to believe they hid the darkie from the whities.
LastSatyr · 1 points · Posted at 06:03:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He was born around 1564.
So... is that a yes?
LesWaff · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my Philosophy class asked if Plato was still alive. We'd been studying him for 6 weeks.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:06:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"He was, but he's not real anymore. Not since we invented time travel."
Profpalpee · 0 points · Posted at 08:16:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait... is Leonardo da Vinchi dead????
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 15:05:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hanelise11 · 2 points · Posted at 16:04:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sorry but... You're*. If you're going to insult someone's intelligence, at least use proper spelling and grammar.
RinardoEvoris · 14 points · Posted at 04:05:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met a lot of smart people in University but I'd have to say the dumbest people I've ever met in my life were also in University. Tons of them. They can memorize what's in a book but couldn't hold a conversation about anything.
bertlayton · 4 points · Posted at 05:38:22 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Here we go. This is where I finally agree with someone on what "dumb" is. Some people just don't know information, doesn't mean they're dumb. But people that go around memorizing but are incapable of understanding their respective fields, I think they're dumb.
wiithepiiple · 14 points · Posted at 14:21:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Granted, this was middle school but:
Someone: "'The' is spelled T-H-A"
Me: "It's definitely spelled T-H-E."
Someone: "It's totally T-H-A. You're just dumb, D-U-M."
Me: "B?"
Someone: "B what?"
Me: "D-U-M-B, like lamb or bomb."
Someone: "You're stupid."
Entangledphoton · 3 points · Posted at 16:50:50 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
You know in your heart that they really meant, "your stupid."
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 09:03:55 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Things that 125% happened.
undeadbill · 20 points · Posted at 03:46:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dude, I ride public transit... do I really have to pick just one?
llBoonell · 2 points · Posted at 08:30:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, the wonderfully stupid people you meet on public transportation...that said, you do meet a few gems every now and then.
uncleraw · 105 points · Posted at 23:54:02 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in middle school asked what a rabbit was when discussing animals in science class. Legitimately had no idea.
IAmTotallyNotHere · 112 points · Posted at 03:09:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe English wasn't her first language? She could have easily not have learned it.
uncleraw · 12 points · Posted at 05:11:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Except for the fact it was a private school in NY.
Gutterman2010 · 6 points · Posted at 07:35:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If itwas upstate thenshe has no excuse, but I can understand some ignorance if she lived in the city.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 13:53:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah it's a shame. I kind of live in the country and I almost feel a pain in my chest when some freaks out if the see a deer or a rabbit. I went to NY once and someone absolutely refused to believe that it is a common occurrence to have 5-8 deer in my yard in the evening when they are grazing.
uncleraw · 2 points · Posted at 13:50:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Albany Area
LordZeya · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
STOP GIVING THEM BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
Redditors can't be so much stupider than the girls in this thread that they can't understand whats wrong with some of them.
ThaJarseff · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:53 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
this is a good point. I remember my first day in Physics in high school my teacher had to take time out of the lesson to explain to the german exchange student in our class what "slope" meant when referring to graphs.
IAmTotallyNotHere · 1 points · Posted at 23:41:55 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, your late.
ThaJarseff · 2 points · Posted at 05:14:26 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
What about my late?
IAmTotallyNotHere · 2 points · Posted at 05:30:07 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
You don't get a laté.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 18:04:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've done stupid stuff like this, but it's because I often mishear things and have trouble with accents or when there's ambiant noise.
"A bug harz." "What's a bug harz?" "It's a larger than normal harz." "Is a harz a thing?" "How are you this old and don't know what a harz is?" "Harziz?" "Cowboys ride 'em." "Oh, a big horse."
Royal_rider · 1 points · Posted at 06:35:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Alice in wonderland ?
LeGrandeMoose · 1 points · Posted at 11:06:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did she only know them as "Bunnies"?
dontknowmeatall · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When you're learning a new language that's one of the first things you learn: pets. dog, cat, rabbit, parakeet and other animals people usually have at home.
10thDoctorBestDoctor · 0 points · Posted at 03:00:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
thats like some kind of reptile right?
NeverQuiteEnough · 0 points · Posted at 13:50:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that's not that surprising, I'd be impressed by anyone who could name every animal.
Kilojewl · -1 points · Posted at 07:44:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Valid question as this was Her Rabbit
mobile_link_fix_bot · 1 points · Posted at 07:44:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_vibrator
K1NG5LAYER · 7 points · Posted at 04:47:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in my Geometry class answered true when asked "Is Texas it's own country."
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 09:36:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, if you ask the Texans...
TonySPhillips · 3 points · Posted at 11:11:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Especially in an intermediate math class like Geometry.
xxAlphaAsFuckxx · 5 points · Posted at 03:32:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why are you answering questions about texas in geometry class? Perhaps you are in geography?
K1NG5LAYER · 3 points · Posted at 00:14:56 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
The teacher wanted to teach us about using "logic" to answer shit in life
Bagofgoldfish · 2 points · Posted at 19:01:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If only...
xgenoriginal · 6 points · Posted at 11:48:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
no one is more stupid then this man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn4QBoexWtM&feature=youtu.be&t=1m16s
eatashrimp · 8 points · Posted at 14:06:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my "honors" world history told us that Canada was a state and Russia was below us and Mexico was above us. We showed her a world map and she said it was a misprint.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that bitch is bananas.
hihelloneighboroonie · 8 points · Posted at 19:20:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What I learned from this thread: Don't name your son Kevin.
MagicSPA · 7 points · Posted at 15:51:24 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
A PhD researcher who lived with me for a while asked, during the finale of "Jaws":
"Wait - so was that the shark that was killing everyone earlier?"
No. No, that was a practice shark which sunk the boat and got blown up. The next hour of the film is dedicated towards the hunt for the REAL shark.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 01:06:00 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My dumbass friend/weed guy. I mention something about driving to Alaska (we're in Texas) and he's confused because Alaska is surrounded by water. That fucking moron thought that Alaska was as commonly depicted on US maps--floating out in the Pacific. He didn't finish high school, but I guess he knows enough to be a successful drug dealer.
theLoveGiant · 13 points · Posted at 06:43:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Satan personally put dinosaur fossils on the earth to support evolution and drive smart people away from the church" yeah that was said to me. No joke.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 20:35:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
theLoveGiant · 2 points · Posted at 00:12:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've heard multiple version of this made up garbage.
blue_awning · 66 points · Posted at 00:14:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are probably others that are dumber, but I met the world's dumbest dentist recently. I went in for major pain in my back right bottom molar, and the only guy who could see me on such short notice was this genius (I wonder why he was available...)
He looked in my mouth, diagnosed me with an ear infection, and sent me home with a bottle of antibiotics. I got in with another dentist a few days later who said it was an obvious gum infection, which he lanced and fixed in a few minutes. Damned red pepper flakes buried themselves in my gums.
I have no idea how the first dentist even made it through dental school.
emgirgis95 · 80 points · Posted at 04:29:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because of how close in proximity your molars are to your ears, it is actually possible that an ear infection would cause your molars to hurt. That dentist wasn't exactly stupid, he probably just didn't spend enough time assessing the situation before coming to a conclusion.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:10:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still, I laughed at the composition of that sentence.
delicious_ketchup · 3 points · Posted at 17:44:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or, it wasn't as obviously inflamed then as it was a a few days later.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:31:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So, it wasn't lupus?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:03:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TIL
Catty_Mayonnaise · 3 points · Posted at 11:52:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If it was a new infection, it might not have been that obvious and would have had more time to become apparent by the time you saw the second guy. When you get a patient with severe molar pain and no clear cause, it's often an ear or sinus infection because of how the nerves communicate. What did you want the guy to do? Stab blindly? Wouldn't you rather the guy be 100% positive before cutting into your face?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:10 on September 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lower jaw hurts, ear causing pain - but not in closer-to-ear, upper jaw?
Carwindows · 2 points · Posted at 04:16:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't know you could see a dentist for ear infections or that they could prescribe medication for them.
AmputeeBall · 2 points · Posted at 21:41:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is actually a thing to have tooth pain due to sinus/ear problems. The sinus/ear problems can irritate the nerves so that something that wouldn't otherwise bother you in your teeth would start to cause pain or amplify an existing problem.
Source: I've run into this problem myself, a few times.
Perhaps the infection simply wasn't as prominently displayed for the 1st dentist compared to the 2nd.
Bionic29 · 5 points · Posted at 04:03:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ಠ_ಠ
ShamelessDistraction · 8 points · Posted at 05:51:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The most intense pain I've ever experienced was in my teeth, caused by my ear. I'm sure it isn't too unlikely for an infection to do it.
emgirgis95 · -2 points · Posted at 04:29:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgb8inw
ShamelessDistraction · 2 points · Posted at 05:49:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey, I know that link!
bfd64 · 1 points · Posted at 06:43:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What do you call a doctor that graduates with a 2.0 average? Doctor
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 06:48:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That idiot could have killed you if you didn't get a second opinion.
Totesnotatwork · 0 points · Posted at 12:40:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have never heard of a dentist being able to A) diagnose someone with an ear infection or B) give out antibiotics for non-tooth related things.
manug102 · 54 points · Posted at 02:26:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Got two:
1) Ex-girlfriend. Freshman year in college, didn't know who Moses was. Even came from a pretty Jewish area (West Bloomfield, MI). I had no words.
2) Senior year AP European History. Talking about Sigmund Freud. Rich girl next to me raises her hand and attempts to correct the teacher: "Ummm Dr. V, don't you mean 'Siegfried & Roy'?"
Redditculously · 33 points · Posted at 02:51:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
you know there are people who don't care about religion at all...
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 03:59:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Redditculously · 6 points · Posted at 23:20:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
It's not that I don't know that Moses is some guy from the Bible, it's just that i don't know his part of the story. I guess most of you people - like me - don't know every character in the Koran.
CraftyCaprid · 3 points · Posted at 19:01:58 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
You also don't know much about the prose Edda but you know who Thor is.
Moses is kind of a big deal in the bible.
InTheLifeOfAThrowawa · 0 points · Posted at 04:01:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
when you live in the west it's pretty much common knowledge to at least know of the major old/new testament figures...
iKickComputers · 6 points · Posted at 09:42:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Depends on your family. If you are in a non-religous family, go to a public institution, and don't really give a damn about religion, it's totally understandable that you won't know dick about Bible lore.
It is common knowledge in the sense that most people know it, but it is easy to miss without primary religious influences like school, church, family, whatever.
If she was Jewish from a Jewish family and didn't know Moses, then you'd have an argument.
InTheLifeOfAThrowawa · 5 points · Posted at 19:50:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my family is not religious, neither was my schooling, but it is pretty much unavoidable, with references everywhere in society (family guy makes jokes about moses for example)
iKickComputers · 5 points · Posted at 19:55:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It is not universally unavoidable, you just didn't avoid it. Not everybody watches tons of television or Family Guy.
[deleted] · -3 points · Posted at 16:14:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Like you? Youre an athiest right. Proceed to be edgy.
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 12:44:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's silly to ignore multiple entire cultures and dismiss them as irrelevant just because you have some hang up about what other people believe lives in the sky.
ButtsexEurope · 5 points · Posted at 08:49:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, I thought they were the same back in middle school. Because they sound the same, okay?
Rec1umWrecker · 2 points · Posted at 16:44:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Who gives a shit?
Dolinski_Von_Hoyer · 3 points · Posted at 06:04:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe because not everyone is raised as a Christian? Doesn't make them dumb if they haven't heard of some made up story.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:46:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Moses is a figure in more than one major religion? You should have a basic idea of what various religions are about anyway. Did you people not learn about all the world's major religions at some point in your schooling?
Dolinski_Von_Hoyer · 5 points · Posted at 16:14:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not that I remember. Our education in Canada is very secular. There is a bit about which major groups follow which religion. Other than that I didn't learn anything about Moses or other religious figures till much later. Regardless of that I wouldn't call this stupid. More ignorant.
KingOfTheMonkeys · 0 points · Posted at 18:01:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No...? Why would they be teaching about religion in a school?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:22:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because religion is a major part of a huge number of different cultures? We were taught about things from the five pillars of Islam to the caste system in Hinduism by the end of middle school.
IncubusPhilosopher · 0 points · Posted at 19:36:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, not all schools do this. Why should I care about the various religious fables?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:30:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Because those religious fables are a very important aspect of understanding the culture that has created them and the cultures that have adopted them.
slapdashbr · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oy vey
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 02:36:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a guy in my Navy boot camp division that had a few missing brain cells, to say the least (don't even know how he made it in). When we had to do the swimming qualification they told us if you don't know how to swim, go to the shallow end and they will teach you. No big deal.
The rest of us had to jump off an 8 foot platform into the pool. This guy gets on the platform, jumps, and sinks right to the bottom. One of the rescue swimmers had to get him and pull him out of the water. He got yelled at by about 15 different people after that little stunt.
TL:DR Idiot in boot camp can't swim, but still jumps in the deep end of the pool anyway.
neonsole · 6 points · Posted at 04:02:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I sat next to a girl in biology that asked me if Gouda was a country
shoyker · 2 points · Posted at 00:54:45 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
She asked me how to spell orange.
positivelySlime · 5 points · Posted at 06:07:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I worked for a bank, I got a phone call from a very angry guy whose debit card was stolen. The fraud department told him he would be responsible for all of the charges (about two grand worth) because he "provided" the PIN. By provided, I mean he had written it on the back of his card in Roman numerals. We went back and forth for 20 minutes over how he'd fucked himself by doing that. He kept saying that we were scamming him because Roman numerals "shouldn't count."
twistedpants · 3 points · Posted at 10:01:42 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to work for a bank too. Got a kid on my line wanted to borrow 10k, urgently but only for 24 hours. Evetually as I was processing his application he told me it was so he could claim his inheritance. At this point the alarm bells were really ringing so I ask him more. Turns out this kid was the nephew of a Nigerian Prince... And his inheritance of gold and diamonds was being driven round London in a secure truck until he could pay the courier fee. I tried every angle. Asked him if he knew he has Nigerian relatives prior to that day, he says no... Eventually I advise him the loan has been declined and that he's being scammed. Kid gets angry. Calls me a liar and hangs up. So for the next day or so I watch him take pay day loan after pay day loan. And then transfer it all out. I tried to stop his account to prevent it happening. And couldn't. 7 days later. Kid rings complaining he's been scammed.
His case got declined as they saw my warnings. Ha ha
eastmoline4life · 6 points · Posted at 12:39:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I had a lot of classes with in high school dropped a bunch of gems, the best was this:
The Sun is about 26 miles from the Earth.
Physics teacher could not hold back his laughter. She would say shit like this in Accelerated and AP classes all the time. One would think she was trolling but you could tell she wasn't by how pissed she would be when people laughed at her.
Also helped she was usually the first to make fun of and judge someone for stuff beyond their control (being poor/different - I had been a target a few times). Helped me feel OK laughing at her at least.
TayDings · 5 points · Posted at 12:55:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chick from high school jumped off a diving board into a swimming pool she must have thought was full of snow. Shattered both her knees after hitting the ice underneath the almost foot of snow on top. What did she think was gonna happen?
thorns0014 · 5 points · Posted at 14:07:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When talking about the polar ice caps melting and global warming in freshmen biology a girl asked "if the polar bears are losing their habitats why don't we just move them to a colder planet?" at another random point she said "Why dies it rain sideways when you are in a car but straight down when you aren't in a car?"
sjeffiesjeff · 7 points · Posted at 11:58:53 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my class believed that a firmware update would give her BlackBerry a touchscreen.
grumpycatabides · 7 points · Posted at 13:14:34 on June 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope you told her how to download more RAM, if only to have her tell you how much faster her phone ran afterwards.
sephferguson · 6 points · Posted at 19:38:37 on July 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a 20 year old female friend of mine ask me sincerely "what is Europe?"
bustacones · 6 points · Posted at 14:55:17 on August 29, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Two gems from a girl I grew up with:
"After the toll booth, how do we know who goes first?"
"How can I be out of money if I still have checks left?"
jayman9696 · 18 points · Posted at 02:02:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in my 9th grade history class thought whatever way your facing was North. So everyone had their own North. It is OK though. She was quite attractive
Icemot216 · 29 points · Posted at 04:40:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In Jr. High health class my teacher asked us to name a salty food. A girl shouts out " COFFEE!" This wasn't the first time she said something like this. Our teacher was simply dumbstruck. Teacher even asked her "I'm not trying to be mean, but I have to know. Are you just acting stupid or are you really that clueless?" Girl starts laughing and before she can answer the whole class says in unison, "She's really that clueless".
zachm26 · 8 points · Posted at 07:53:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
Eternalpessimist23 · 35 points · Posted at 04:29:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were studying romeo and juilet in high school, the teacher was discussing the prologue and the deaths of the main characters, to which a girl shouted "spoilers!!! Why would you ruin the ending?!"
CappnKrunk · 7 points · Posted at 16:47:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really don't see the problem with this, or I wouldn't call her stupid if it was an isolated event. Sure it is a widely popular story that pop culture constantly recreates but I'm sure she's at least heard of it before, even if her prior knowledge to the text was only "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" Most people probably know the story, but a lot of folks slip through the cracks too.
Eternalpessimist23 · 1 points · Posted at 19:49:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Unfortunately it was not an isolated event
CappnKrunk · 1 points · Posted at 22:00:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well then I redact my statement, kind sir or madam.
llBoonell · 11 points · Posted at 08:28:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She hadn't read/watched it beforehand? This is why people complain about text studies in high school; because nobody ever pre-reads.
Inkpress00 · 2 points · Posted at 02:30:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I HATED this whenever I read Shakespeare in a class. We would read up until a certain point and discuss from there? No, fuck that shit. It's a play that's supposed to be evaluated as a whole. And seriously, this shit is 400 YEARS OLD. And you're going to read it tomorrow night. You should not be upset when I try to bring a "future" point into discussion.
wayfaringpirate · 1 points · Posted at 15:22:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, before I had read it, I didn't know that they dies at the end. All I knew was that it was a love story and that they couldn't be together for some reason. No one really talks about them dying. I'm assuming this was freshman year too, cause that's when a lot of people read it. Most 14 year olds aren't up to date on Shakespeare.
shamWOWWZERS · 14 points · Posted at 02:38:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl named Lisa who said she blow dried her hair IN THE SHOWER, you know... to save time.
blackcain · 3 points · Posted at 04:26:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dear god, I hope you told her not to do that...
ssjkriccolo · 1 points · Posted at 12:29:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She learned quickly not to do it after she got light headed and dizzy. Well,... Maybe she didn't
PandaProphetess · 3 points · Posted at 02:29:56 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she meant that she blow dried her hair after turning the water off so she didn't have to dry off with a towel and also dry her hair.
[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 07:57:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Me: "Who was Hitler?"
Him: "He's that soccer player."
Me: "Who is the US president?"
Him: "Osama"
Rudi_mental · 33 points · Posted at 23:24:46 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not met him, but Joey Essex doesn't know how to blow his own nose.
takenorinvalid · 39 points · Posted at 00:13:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's not so bad. I couldn't blow my own nose until I was 16. I have unusually poor control over my body. It took me until I was 12 to successfully blow up a balloon. And I finally mastered swallowing pills at 28.
Uh, I guess I nominate myself.
blue_awning · 33 points · Posted at 00:28:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait, what? What did you do until you turned 16?
"Dammit, I inhaled again!"
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 17:50:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mother used to think I was an idiot because I couldn't blow up balloons; it turns out my lungs are just weak as fuck. It took me until my teens to actually be strong enough to force the air in.
Of course, I have an asthmatic, smoker co-worker who blows up the balloons for every office party and just loves to brag about how strong his lungs are, because life isn't fucking fair.
Tlahuixcalpantecuhtl · 1 points · Posted at 16:09:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had this trouble, I just inflated my cheeks.
Ezmar · 5 points · Posted at 01:49:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't tend to "Properly" blow my nose often, because I have some pretty large blood vessels in my nose that are close to the surface of the skin, and if I blow too hard and my nose starts to bleed, it fucking BLEEDS. It's only recently that I've realized that when people get nosebleeds, it's not always a thick dribble of blood steadily coming out of the nose. I've never had my nose just bleed a little.
catjuggler · 1 points · Posted at 03:55:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I still can't swallow pills and I turn 31 this week.
tehzeroFIN · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I haven't tried blowing up a balloon since 4th grade when i failed at that, i also don't know how to whistle. Maybe there's something wrong with my mouth/lips.
Chumlax · 1 points · Posted at 13:01:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe, but he was also literally unable to tell the time from a clock and when quizzed, amongst myriad other idiotic misunderstandings, thought that Wales was next to Russia, so it is pretty much that bad.
I_AM_A_IDIOT_AMA · 82 points · Posted at 00:08:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Me.
Tlahuixcalpantecuhtl · 4 points · Posted at 10:28:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
*An
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 21:01:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What congressional district do you represent?
2_STEPS_FROM_america · 5 points · Posted at 01:31:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I see you everywhere
Jhat316 · 8 points · Posted at 12:29:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You must own a lot of mirrors then! I'm sorry!
2_STEPS_FROM_america · 2 points · Posted at 21:31:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ooooooooooohnice
Katalysts · 2 points · Posted at 07:10:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What do you do for a living?
maku098 · 2 points · Posted at 09:19:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
AMA?
sumcpeeps · 2 points · Posted at 14:11:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why when I google my username does a picture of your username come up? This shocked me yesterday!
BVTheEpic · 1 points · Posted at 22:14:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Username checks out.
Drwg · 1 points · Posted at 03:20:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your time has come.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 00:22:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 01:37:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
whoosh
Uncombustible_Lemon · -1 points · Posted at 08:05:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well your username says "a idiot"
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 10:16:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thatsthejoke.jpeg
millionsofmonkeys · -1 points · Posted at 01:12:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How do you know?
Trcymcgrdy1 · 29 points · Posted at 01:38:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow, seems like most of Reddit met that dumb girl in high school. Fuckin Stacey, that bitch.
redditslave · 43 points · Posted at 05:22:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ya but her mom though, like holy shit did she have it going on!
Opdm · 4 points · Posted at 06:35:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But her mom though...
keepitgangster · 1 points · Posted at 09:31:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Patjeff · 1 points · Posted at 13:19:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But her mom tho...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:15:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I fucked Stacey
ButtsexEurope · -2 points · Posted at 08:52:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A lot of these I think are made up, exaggerated, or overlooking some pretty obvious things. I'm seeing a lot of sexism here. You have to remember a lot of girls are told that acting stupid in front of guys is supposed to be cute. Combine that with the "airhead bimbo" stereotype, that stupid girls are cringeworthy but stupid guys are funny, and you've got the perfect mix of why feminism is still relevant.
iKickComputers · 2 points · Posted at 09:46:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not seeing lots of sexism, more people recognizing that society treats stupid (pretty) girls and men differently when it comes to intelligence. That's not sexism, that's awareness of sexism. It isn't the perfect mix of why feminism is still relevant. There are far better cases than whatever persecution you may see here in this thread. Honestly, this has been pretty fucking tame, and even if there are a few off color comments, the overwhelming majority of them are not sexist.
ButtsexEurope · 1 points · Posted at 10:10:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You bring up another great point. Pretty girls who say smart things are just parroting and don't know what they're talking about and should get back in the kitchen. Ugly girls who say smart things are ignored or actually attacked (see: Michelle Obama, Elena Kagan). pretty girls who say dumb things are expected and sought out, so we remember them more. It's the same reason why we don't remember smart reasonable republicans and only remember the crazy, homophobic, historically ignorant hypocrites. I'm more annoyed with how the top comment is actually a legit cosmological question and everyone is saying that the hypothetical girl talking was an idiot for asking.
iKickComputers · 2 points · Posted at 10:17:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Michelle Obama is not ugly. Also, people in general who say smart things get ignored or attacked, because often they conflict with dumb ideologies or the agendas of powerful people. It is totally a minority view that intelligent women belong in the kitchen.
"What is the speed of dark?" in a high school science classroom is probably a question deserving of ridicule, unless you have low standards. I don't see what her gender really has to do with it. If a guy said that, he'd be just as stupid. In a philosophy class... well, alright. Fair enough. In science, though, at a high school level, it is an extraordinary concept to not understand.
Pereqt · 1 points · Posted at 11:18:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think she's ugly
iKickComputers · 1 points · Posted at 14:27:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Say whaaaaaat? That woman is may be past her prime, but she aged well.
Pereqt · 1 points · Posted at 15:02:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Alright, ugly may be an exaggeration, but I see nothing attrative about her at all.
ButtsexEurope · 0 points · Posted at 10:20:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://sciencequestionswithchris.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/what-is-the-speed-of-dark/
iKickComputers · 2 points · Posted at 10:27:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Which proves nothing. It's some dude named Chris with a blog. Whoopdy doo. You could've just said that you think it is acceptable ignorance at the high school level and we'd be in the same place.
High schoolers should have a firm grasp of this concept and I think it is inexcusable that even a fifth grader moving on from elementary could fail to understand that darkness is simply a lack of light.
It either highlights a failure of the school system or that an individual is properly stupid, not understanding that concept. Assuming the one who made the observation is average (stupidity is relative), I'd say the person was probably just a numbskull.
ButtsexEurope · 0 points · Posted at 10:34:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Guess these physics students are numbskulls, too. Also, the answer is -c. There is an actual serious hypothesis that darkness has weight.
iKickComputers · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You sorta just cited a shit post. Did you even read it? Dude wanted to use planet sounds to create a black hole for time travel. Fuckin' wacky, went nowhere, and had no real bearing on physics. So that OP was a numbskull, yeah. Just because somebody is a physics student totally does not mean they know jack shit. By nature, it means they don't know jack shit and must learn.
Source that hypothesis.
ButtsexEurope · 0 points · Posted at 21:05:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shit i can't find where I saw it. I think it was in reference to dark matter. Oh well, I guess I was wrong about that. But I still maintain that it's not a stupid question because it's a great launch pad to explain how photons are their own antiparticle, why photons don't have mass, etc. it's not that unreasonable to think that if light is a particle and all matter has antimatter then there should be a speed of dark, especially in a high school introductory physics class. It's no more stupid than asking if electrons have a negative charge how can there be positively charged ions, or if the subatomic particles that make up neutrons have a charge if neutrons have no charge.
A stupid question implies one should know better ("Are Jews real?"). Asking for clarification on a concept by positing a hypothetical shows critical thinking, which asking "if light is made up of particles and all particles have antiparticles, then shouldn't there be a speed of dark?" demonstrates. She might not be eloquent, but it's not like no scientist ever jumped to a conclusion that seemed logically sound (e.g. That fetal development represents stages of evolution, pangolins are related to anteaters because they look similar) only to be wrong.
iKickComputers · 1 points · Posted at 22:04:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, dark matter has nothing to do with shadows. It's called dark matter because we can't see it, but we can observe its gravitational effect. Basically, the orbital velocities of galaxies didn't match up with their mass, but we could see why. The solution? There exists subatomic particles that do not absorb or emit light or electromagnetic radiation. Anyways, it's a strong hypothesis but neither here nor there.
Eh, it's not really a great launch pad, since the question is so easily resolved with the explanation "Darkness is nothing more than the absence of light." It doesn't really lead to anything past that. I'm fairly confident that nobody else really gained much knowledge from that, which makes mostly a jarring interruption. The question is no more complex than why there can be open air on one side of a dam and water on the other. Actually, it's probably less complex than that. It's just that simple. I'm guessing they were already talking about light because the person referenced the speed of light. I'm also guessing that question was well below the knowledge level of the classroom. By high school, one definitely should understand the concept of shadows. I don't see how one could have any grasp whatsoever of antiparticles without first understanding the basic concept of shadows. I don't think one could have a solid grasp particles or photons without understanding that.
Asking what the speed of dark is is definitely more stupid than those questions. No one intuitively understands atomic structure, but shadows... are pretty straightforward, especially once you know what a photon is. It demonstrates profound ignorance. It is just not acceptable for a high school level classroom. One SHOULD know better. And I don't know why you're trying to excuse this stupidity by constructing some narrative where she is actually exploring the deep nature of antiparticles or whatever. There is no chance one will be able to form any sort of reasonable thought regarding antiparticles (and I might add, that sort of quantum physics tend to be left out of high school curricula) without having the presence of mind to understand how a shadow works.
PUTTY1 · 19 points · Posted at 04:27:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Me: hey Kip, how many points is a 3-point shot worth in basketball? Kip: Five! (Holds out his hand with all five fingers up)
This actually happened in 8th grade. He has no mental disabilities. I have never laughed so hard in my life
bloodfruit · 21 points · Posted at 08:08:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe Kip was being sarcastic?
PUTTY1 · 1 points · Posted at 19:54:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No he wasn't
TrucksNShit · 2 points · Posted at 08:12:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Classic Kip
dieDoktor · 1 points · Posted at 14:39:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where were you 8th grade? Tampa?
bucknakid14 · 20 points · Posted at 07:21:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nichole. Goddamn Nichole. She was my brother's girlfriend for a time. Oh god, I didn't think someone could be so stupid. Example:
She wanted to come over to my house. Said she didn't have the gas. I told her I always pee in my gas tank til I can afford some gas. She goes to the garage and gets a funnel and then calls me back when she can't angle herself right to get the piss into it.
DqChu823 · 4 points · Posted at 12:52:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I gotta say though, I give her credit for the effort to see her bf / your brother.
Yourwtfismyftw · 3 points · Posted at 10:21:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She didn't have a good start if her parents couldn't manage either acceptable spelling of her common name.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:19:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nishhhhhole?
ModernStrangeCowboy · 11 points · Posted at 05:17:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my highschool who thought Hitler was still around and asked why no one had stopped him yet.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 05:31:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
HITLER2012
Creature_73L · 3 points · Posted at 10:29:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
umm I don't want to alarm you sir. But it's 2014.
Yourwtfismyftw · 1 points · Posted at 10:20:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jillian?
ModernStrangeCowboy · 1 points · Posted at 00:55:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Her name was not Jillian. I feel like this is unfortunately a common dumb girl thing
Sir_Tmotts_III · 12 points · Posted at 05:39:55 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was in the 9th grade, A girl asked which continent was Africa and which was South America. Two years later, she would go on to get her credit card stuck in a computer so she could buy stuff off amazon.
RabidMuffins · 4 points · Posted at 20:48:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My cousin's husband is really dumb. One Christmas, my uncle gave him a nice watch, which didn't have numbers on it. A few days later, he brought it back and said he couldn't use it because "There's one hand pointing this way, one hand pointing that way, and one that just keeps going around and around." My mother said "That's the second hand." and he replied "Yeah, but there are two others!"
Akintunde · 5 points · Posted at 20:32:55 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
While she's not dumb, my girlfriend tends to be very absent minded from time to time.
Like that time she asked me "Do you smell coffee?" "I, yes, this is Starbucks, yes I smell coffee."
The best is the look on her face when she realizes what she said before I even get to answer.
pfiumano · 5 points · Posted at 04:23:31 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew this girl that thought Alaska and Hawaii were close to each other.because, on a map, they are in boxes relatively close to each other. She thought Europe was a country. Im petty sure she thought Florida was a country too, but I don't remember
pfiumano · 4 points · Posted at 04:34:48 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to explain to my cousin that the Sun is a star, like all the stars you see at night, and that you cannot see the sun at night. She told me, tried to convince me, that you can see the sun at night. Although nighttime is when the sun does not shine on that side of the earth. She told me that her teacher told her you can see the sun at night. Fuck that.
Interestingsubspecie · 24 points · Posted at 08:07:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's this guy in my earth science class... Two of the questions he's asked:
"If the dinosaurs were on earth for so much longer than humans why didn't they make a space program or something to blow up the meteor that killed them?"
(During a talk about why academic journals are the best source for writing papers)
Idiot: "But what if the person who wrote the journal is wrong?"
Teacher: "well they have taken their information from other respected individuals in their field"
Idiot: "well what if they are also wrong?"
Teacher: "well they did the research and field work to come up with their information"
Idiot: "but what if they didn't do the proper procedures that you're teaching us?"
At that point the professor just moved on...
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 18:07:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those are actually good questions.
Let's not forget that anti-vax started with a primary source in published journal... Someone said, "Hm... what if they're wrong, did they do a scientific study? No? Well this is BS!"
Smartest question you can ask is, "Is this true?"
Interestingsubspecie · 1 points · Posted at 21:12:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It wasn't about specific studies though, you probably had to be there. Everyone in the class just groans whenever he speaks.
kitetsuto · 4 points · Posted at 12:45:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
lazy dinosaurs. cant even make a space program
bastocrat · 1 points · Posted at 17:58:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They tried, but without Bruce Willis...
AlexDr0ps · 46 points · Posted at 00:22:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I met in high school. I once spilled water on the table and was asked, "Is that clear pepsi?"
TurtleTitan · 70 points · Posted at 00:52:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Crystal Pepsi did exist... How many years ago was this?
smellysallie · 91 points · Posted at 01:39:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Crystal Pepsi
1992-1993
You've never seen a taste like this
RIP
TheDutchNorwegian · 3 points · Posted at 12:05:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seen the vid of the guy drinking the 25 year old Crystal pepsi? "It tastes quite ok" 2 minutes pass and he is puking all over the place.
AltairsBlade · 2 points · Posted at 10:03:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I miss it so, never forget.
cam_malkavian · 2 points · Posted at 00:42:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
requescat in pepsi....
AlexDr0ps · 8 points · Posted at 02:53:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
just a few years ago... Well after crystal pepsi was gone
GovmentTookMaBaby · -1 points · Posted at 21:09:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
aaaaand your dumb for not knowing to look up if there was a clear pepsi.
AlexDr0ps · 2 points · Posted at 21:28:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
*you're
And crystal pepsi was not around when this incident occurred.....
GovmentTookMaBaby · -1 points · Posted at 01:57:15 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Autocorrected so fuck it, and obviously she had heard about it so she was likely 1. Joking and you just didnt catch it 2. She was being facetious, meaning she was intentionally making a reference to something she knew didnt exist anymore.
StQuinten · 16 points · Posted at 08:42:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Not dumbest person, but definitely not his brightest moment: A friend of mine, who is actually finishing his PhD in civil engineering thought that emperor penguins were as tall as human beings cause ... you know ... 'there is no frame of reference in those pictures on antarctica'.
redditforcash · 16 points · Posted at 22:21:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The average height for an emporer penguin is 110-130cm. That comes out to be about 4 feet 3 inches. That is about the average height of a fourth grader. So in fact emporer penguins are as big as humans. Who's the dumb dumb now?
KingOfTheMonkeys · 3 points · Posted at 23:12:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or a very short adult!
EmoKidSid · 1 points · Posted at 04:36:54 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
Encountering a penguin that big would be kind of terrifying.
Wife-B-Gone · 3 points · Posted at 21:08:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have to give it to him, I never thought of it that way. I know the "cute" penguins are like knee-high because I have seen them in a zoo, but an emperor penguin? That sounds like one large penguin.
ButtsexEurope · 10 points · Posted at 08:28:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
An anti-vaxxer. She also told me to use peppermint oil on an itchy spot on my arm. While the itchiness was relieved, it turned out to be psoriasis. She also said that even though we get lots of medicine from plants, they shouldn't need to be synthesized and just eaten right from the plant instead. So instead of taking digitalis, she wants you to go munch on tons of foxglove flowers instead. She was a good masseuse but infuriating. She also said that she never vaccinated her kids and they were never sick. This was in California.
Vaie · 7 points · Posted at 12:25:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah I expect there are a lot of her kind in California.
ADF01FALKEN · 3 points · Posted at 19:46:45 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Checks out.
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 16:32:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
California is the bleached asshole of the United States
foodie42 · 2 points · Posted at 03:28:36 on May 15, 2014 · (Permalink)*
To be fair, some herbs actually are better for people allergic to ingredients in the synthesized version, and in general are cheaper to get ahold of (ex: ginger); it's just that generally you would need to eat extraordinary amounts of said plants to get any benefit.
In relation to the rest of your description, I seriously doubt this was her case...
Opalm · 9 points · Posted at 09:29:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from high school biology, "How do ugly people exist?", the teacher baffled says nothing. She continues with her foolproof logic, "Since they are ugly they can't find anybody that wants to have sex with them, so how are there ugly people if they can't reproduce and make more ugly babies."
DefinitelyNotInsane · 20 points · Posted at 23:53:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is a very obvious and not remotely stupid question to ask if you are learning about evolution.
lunchb0 · 9 points · Posted at 05:55:04 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to work in an electronics store, and ran the TV department. An old guy called over the phone one day, asked if he could return a 73" projection TV to me (then around $3,000). I asked if he had a receipt. He said yes. I ask when he purchased the TV (1 month return policy). He said 6 months ago, from a competitor's store, that had since gone out of business. I said no, but inquired why he wanted to return it now. He said, and I quote, "I'm blind. I ain't got no damn use for a TV." Facepalm Dot Jpg
[deleted] · 25 points · Posted at 02:14:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommates boyfriend. He said and did an array of stupid things... but one thing he said that I'll never forget was "my ex wife had post-mortem depression" .I was like. . How could she be depressed if she was dead? He didn't get it.
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 06:55:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:49:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, he meant post partum. Maybe it wasn't THAT bad... but it's just one thing he said that I still laugh about. Let's put it this way. .. I caught him eating cigarette butts out of the ash tray like it was a bowl of cereal. Him mixing up "mortem" and "partum" was definitely not the dumbest thing he's ever done.
theLoveGiant · 7 points · Posted at 07:01:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's why she was depressed...
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 08:29:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Have you ever seen a happy corpse?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:46:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
True. But if you don't have any brain function you can't be depressed either.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 20:52:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Have you ever seen a depressed one?
GovmentTookMaBaby · 3 points · Posted at 19:16:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A slip of the tongue does not constitute the dumbest person you know, and if it does, its probably one of those cases where you are the dumbest person to most of the people you know.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:42:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No no.. haha. This was no "slip of the tongue" he probably legitimately had an iq of about 70. This was just one thing I specifically remember him saying.
lovo_matterhorn · 33 points · Posted at 04:37:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey storytime! So one day after a game of basketball on the courts outside of my dorm, me and two of my friends decided to stop through our local Circle K. After getting our gatorades and standing at the checkout line, my friend, we'll call him Jim, decides to look at the gum. Sarcastically, he tries to joke "Hey guys, look at this gum! It says thirst quenching, I should totally get it right?!". He proceeds to buy this shitty gum and give all of us a piece. After about a minute of driving, my other friend and I decide to spit the gum out. Apparently Jim did not noticed this action because he continues to joke about the gum and this is where the conversation went...
"Guys.. I don't know about this gum har har I don't think it's working har har"
I look at him... "Dude, you're not supposed to be chewing the gum. It's like water. Think about it, you don't chew water."
My other friend and I show him our empty mouths to confirm we are both 1) not chewing the gum and 2) to confirm our thirst has indeed, been quenched. After this confirmation he goes ahead and swallows the gum.... More seconds go by...
"Dude, I don't know... Maybe I didn't do it right... Are you supposed to chew it at all?"
I look at him with a blank face, "You chewed it up first? You idiot haha you have to just put it in your mouth and swallow it dry for it to work"
He quickly takes another piece of dry gum and tries to swallow it whole. It's a miracle I'm still alive after watching him try to gulp that down.
tl;dr: my friend swallowed two pieces of gum to try and quench his thirst
[deleted] · 41 points · Posted at 23:36:11 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I work at a touristy place that's popular with celebrities... so probably a three way tie between Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, and a particularly stupid girl from my grad class
EDIT: We rented stuff at my work place and my bosses honestly suspected that Zac Efron stole our product because we had to call him to get it back after over a month. He was also pretty cocky. Selena was nice but just came across as a bit of an airhead (taking selfies and stuf)...
gu3sswhoiam121 · 20 points · Posted at 00:04:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please elaborate on this.
DancesWithDaleks · 12 points · Posted at 10:18:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Any girl between the ages of 12 and 25 is likely to take selfies when they're at a touristy place, especially one with a social media presence that helps fuel their career.
I personally don't think that alone would make her an airhead.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 16:21:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Selena Gomez should shove the camera in her ass in a public place. That might help her career more.
Hank_E_Panky · 22 points · Posted at 00:04:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
But Selena was a wizard. You can't tell me that you can be dumb and be a wizard! No wait, I'd rather not know. crosses fingers
xolemoncello · 5 points · Posted at 02:16:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Story time?
Ginger-saurus-rex · 4 points · Posted at 04:23:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
AMA or story time or something Plz tell us things
Ghede · 2 points · Posted at 14:21:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can't just leave us hanging...
Let's hear about that stupid girl from grad class!
March_of_the_ENTropy · 2 points · Posted at 15:31:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People I don't like are dumb. This person does a thing that people I don't like do. This person is dumb.
LordDoombringer · 4 points · Posted at 02:02:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Please elaborate on selena gomez. Op, we need dis
[deleted] · 103 points · Posted at 00:02:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I met this girl in college, when I first met here she had a big dumb smile on her face. I kind of thought she was being friendly but I had the feeling of stupidity on her. I didnt hang out with her, she just happened to be in the circle of people I ate with.
Anyway one day at lunch she comes with yogurt and shes like I got blueberries and craisins in it.
Nope. She put in black olives and kidney beans. Yeah she thought black olives were blueberries and she though kidney beans were fucking craisins.
I laugh so hard at the person watching her put that shit into her yogurt, their face mustve been hilarious.
She didnt like the yogurt that much.
EDIT: For clarification: Craisins are a real thing, they are dried cranberries, google it /u/HorseIsKing. I wasnt watching her gather her food, she just came back to the table with it. She wasnt colorblind. She was just extremely, extremely sheltered. For example we were once talking about what music we all liked and all she said was Britney Spears (this was 2 years ago). You dont have to believe me but I swear on my life this really happened.
Nezrac · 11 points · Posted at 08:54:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wow... just incraidible
FengaPapit27 · 4 points · Posted at 03:55:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was shaking my foot while reading through this thread and this one actually made me stop what I was doing and stare. What the fuck
HorseIsKing · 49 points · Posted at 04:11:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm kind of starting to think that you're the dumbest person I've ever met
[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 13:09:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dude craisins are a real thing, google it
TheSixthVisitor · 5 points · Posted at 15:38:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you dim? Virtually nothing he said was wrong (although the story itself was lacking). Craisins are an amalgamation between the words "cranberry" and "raisin" to mean "dried cranberries". To be fair, they're pretty good when they're actual craisins and not kidney beans.
Rap15t · 3 points · Posted at 14:31:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I agree. Who thinks kidney beams are crasins when it is obviously fetta cheese
bananabobby · 3 points · Posted at 08:17:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
They are craving for some craisans from the crestaucrant.
TopHatPanda · 14 points · Posted at 11:09:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
are dried cranberries although it's craisins.
Google can do a lot. No idea it existed untill now.
Edit: cranberies -> cranberries. Thanks to /u/crotchcritters for pointing it out.
crotchcritters · 1 points · Posted at 12:38:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cranberries
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:05:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is that OK to say in English? I think the phrasing is incorrect.
fire_is_catching · 3 points · Posted at 11:28:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It would just be "they are craving [food]".
RiKSh4w · 2 points · Posted at 12:19:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or "They have a craving for [food]"
phoenixink · 1 points · Posted at 22:21:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why's that?
EdGG · 2 points · Posted at 06:14:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't be mean... here, have a craisin [sic].
LivingInShanghai · -4 points · Posted at 05:33:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Clayton sure is high on that list. Clayton...
spotwork · 3 points · Posted at 03:03:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Making fun of the colorblind isn't nice.
Creature_73L · 9 points · Posted at 09:38:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There are serious texture and shape differences at play here.
deltaroo · 2 points · Posted at 21:00:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe they're called cran-baisins
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:52:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cranbaisins?
puremanbird · 0 points · Posted at 08:30:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I LAUGH so hard at the person watching her put that shit into her yogurt, their face MUSTVE BEEN hilarious. "
really.?
Creature_73L · -5 points · Posted at 09:37:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
just fyi. Wouldn't take more than even 3 raw kidney beans to make someone deathly ill. Even as little as 5 to kill someone.
[deleted] · 28 points · Posted at 01:15:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A friend of mine, S, who is a stereotypical white girl (air head, blonde, frappacino blood infusions, etc;) was trying to describe the battle of Waterloo so we could tell her the name. "YOU KNOW! THE ONE WHERE AMERICA FINALLY BEAT THE FRENCH GUY!"
Another friend of mine, V, who isn't usually as dumb as S, but has her moments, made fun of me for thinking the bombing of Pearl Harbor happened in 1941. "It was 1761 you idiot!"
Bonus Edit: S once stated matter-of-factly that the reason astronauts wore such big suits was because they created gravity. If you stood on the moon without one, you'd fall of. I asked if she meant float. Nope, fall. "Right into the sun."
My ex-girlfriend didn't know astronauts were real until I told her about the Apollo missions.
Edit: where not were.
theLoveGiant · 21 points · Posted at 07:15:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Columbus nuked Japan to end the hundred years wars between France and the moon people.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:27:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And the Russians beat us to putting a monkey on Neptune. We then got so mad, we're not talking to Russia anymore.
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No. It was the mole people!
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 00:29:52 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hans Moleman.
blackcain · 2 points · Posted at 04:20:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I swear I think some fo these people just are compeltely disinterested in history or any kind of common facts. Sigh.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:29:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well i don't know about S and V but my ex just didn't know. She actually loved to learn but she didn't know a lot of common knowledge. I have no idea how she got to highschool without learning this stuff.
johnpaul1990 · 2 points · Posted at 12:46:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did we date the same ex?
I also dated a girl that didn't know astronauts were real. She was inquisitive and was interested if someone taught her, but I usually would have to teach her information she should of learned in elementary or junior high. Makes me believe that it could be the education system's fault.
She was dumber than rocks, but was overall a great girl. I miss feeling smart for a few minutes when explaining how to do basic division.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:56:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm in Fl
Creature_73L · 2 points · Posted at 09:57:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did she actually say "were" instead of "where" ??
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:26:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope. I just type to faster than I can brain.
Numbnuts50 · 2 points · Posted at 00:33:02 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Right into the sun."
It should be illegal to be that dumb.
Bekenel · 1 points · Posted at 11:17:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, it's debatable that Napoleon was French - he was Corsican, born to an originally Italian family, only the year after the French gained control of the island. His birth name was changed to make it sound more French. Legally speaking, French of course; in terms of ancestry, not.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's actually really cool. Thank you.
LeopardusMaximus · 8 points · Posted at 02:41:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I know had no idea what a uterus was. Also the same person who was legitimately convinced that people only had to have sex once, and visibly shivered upon learning otherwise. She's 19. God bless whatever man marries that girl.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:57:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
See, that man is going to either be fucked, or be blessed.
evlgns · 8 points · Posted at 07:58:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friends girlfriend asked how the car knew where it was going on cruise control, and another time she asked why it was called "afternoon" .
choofy · 31 points · Posted at 23:50:37 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
2 way tie. An ex-neighbor that made literally EVERYTHING suck just by being around. We found out that she was coming to a party, so all the men took their clothes off to get rid of her, and she stuck around for an hour until her friend got uncomfortable enough to make her take her home. I still tell people she's the Bloody Mary of stupid - say derp in a mirror 3 times and she appears.
2 The epitome of gullibility - a short list of stuff our friends told her that she believed: It's super dangerous to light a cigarette over a still-fizzing diet coke (because nutra-sweet is highly flammable), the air in your tires needs to be changed every 3 months or they will go flat (she SCREAMED at the Firestone employees for not knowing what "seasonal air" was), the chick from the original Total Recall ACTUALLY had 3 boobs (which is how she got the part)... She once got in a fight with her married boyfriend and peeled out of the parking lot - we described it as "like a dingbat out of hell".
littleoctagon · 9 points · Posted at 02:00:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ohgod, the laughter would not stop! I must reuse dingbat out of hell!
FOTBWN · 9 points · Posted at 01:25:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I guess she had a three titty'd daughter for the new one.
DoctorDean · 3 points · Posted at 09:40:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
All the men took their clothes off? This seems really stupid to me.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:29:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
After reading your massive response (on Mobile) I can not read the tiny font again.
adrippingcock · 2 points · Posted at 05:13:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah! LOL I answered a phone call and left in the middle of that comment, when I came back and finished wondered why the others' font was so tiny. Guess I now qualify for this list ... Yet I am no woman. Or blond. Or maybe I am!
FreewheelinAMC · 3 points · Posted at 03:46:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from my old school once, or at least tried, I'm not 100%, to put tic tacs in her eyes claiming they were contact lenses.
mdragon13 · 3 points · Posted at 05:09:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
she asked if unicorns were real. in biology class.
we were talking about genes n stuff, horses came up and soon after, rhinos. so she asked. she got a lot of "are you actually retarded" looks from people around her.
Rec1umWrecker · 1 points · Posted at 17:07:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well if she takes the word of the bible as fact then it's not that dumb of a question, was he religious?
mdragon13 · 1 points · Posted at 17:15:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i dont really know, she went to another school this year. she also brought up creation a few times during discussions about evolution, which pissed me off a bit.
TheSimonToUrGarfunkl · 3 points · Posted at 06:27:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hopefully someone has met Karl Pilkington.
bean_king · 4 points · Posted at 06:36:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who did not know where California was in relation to where we live ... We live in Oregon
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:02:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm a pretty smart guy in some ways, but all I could tell you right now about Oregon is "near California"
Numbnuts50 · 1 points · Posted at 00:44:38 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's right above California, understandable to not know if you don't live anywhere near those two states but you should at least know which state is below your own..
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:34:55 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh yeah, not knowing California is effing ridiculous.
Angelofgeek · 1 points · Posted at 01:19:50 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I still constantly forget that Oregon is between Washington and California, and I live in Washington!
CraftyCaprid · 1 points · Posted at 19:45:21 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I constantly forget that Washington is above Oregon. I blame Vancouver.
Shaunaaaah · 3 points · Posted at 06:41:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a guy in my grade 11 philosophy class, he was on his victory lap and taking a grade 11 class so that says something right away. He managed to prove that there are stupid questions. I can't remember many anecdotes except that most the way through discussion of euthanasia he revealed he had thought it was 'youth in asia'.
I don't think I've ever felt smarter than in that class.
EmoKidSid · 1 points · Posted at 17:21:34 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
In 7th grade, one of my classmates was supposed to do a project on euthanasia. She showed up on presentation day with a paper and poster board about the youth in Asia.
Stelzigson · 6 points · Posted at 07:07:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Woman in front of us at Cleveland Indians game: "Where's the clock? How do you know when the games over" Her SO turns around and high fives us as the game goes into extra innings and I said something like "I love free baseball" to which she replied... "Neat! How do they make sure everyone gets a free baseball?"
sloppy_waiter · 4 points · Posted at 07:22:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in Grade 9 history at a Canadian school asks if Canada is a country. Somehow I got in trouble for laughing at her.
Another Girl, same grade asks if the moon is bigger than a football field.
I wish there was a bell curve in Grade 9.
RyanTranquil · 3 points · Posted at 07:37:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in High School (~ 2003) .. history class, we were discussing the largest states for economic development..
Teacher asked: What's the largest state in our country with the most economic development activity in the past 5 years?
Typical Jock not paying attention answered: "Dude that's so China!"
.. many laughs followed.. and he just had this state of shock (and embarrassment) on his face..
The answer was California I believe for the record.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 08:46:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My current roommate. She doesn't have the guys she has sex with use condoms because "she has an IUD" and "doesn't need them"
Shit you not, today she came back and opened my door, said "guess what!? I might have herpes!" with a raise-the-roof gesture. Then when she called her boyfriend she said "I KNOW I can't have it but I don't know yet because the results aren't back". I told her she doesn't know she doesn't have it and not to say she knows because "she doesn't think so" but got sass.
She's so fucking dumb. Guess that's what you get when you have sex with your ex (who is known to cheat..) while he's dating your ex-best friend and then instantly start dating and fucking some guy you hardly know.
fashionandfunction · 3 points · Posted at 20:08:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i overheard the two most stupid people i've ever seen in a long time at the movie theater.
1.) during the LEGO movie this loud guy behind us was laughing HYSTERICALLY the entire time. then after the movie, we overheard him say "i loved the ghost part because he was on strings!!!! you could see the strings!"
2.) during the new muppet movie, there's a monster's inc. short that ends with parents coming into their kids bedroom asking to sleep there because there's monsters in their closet. the loud annoying guy behind us said "see it's funny because it's a reversal!"
it was the most horrifically embarrassing thing i've witnessed in a long time.
tl;dr: loud stupid guys in the theater explain the punchlines of jokes to feel smart.
HooksFourHands · 5 points · Posted at 21:21:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mother. Among many other stupid things, she believes cake is a diet food because there are pictures of cakes on the covers of the stupid magazines she reads alongside the [insert new fad diet here] on the cover.
This is what she reads.
jcdale · 5 points · Posted at 23:04:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a crush in high school who once asked me if I would cook up hot dogs at her house for a mutual friend's birthday. I of course said yes, then asked her what kind of barbecue she had (wondering if I needed to get propane or charcoal).
She turned her head slightly to the side and looked at me in puzzlement, stating, "oh I only put ketchup on my hot dogs, not barbecue sauce."
...
Teh_Slayur · 6 points · Posted at 02:46:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can kind of understand her misunderstanding, because not everyone grills hot dogs. my family has always just boiled them. I like to saute them in a little oil.
shelbydavis22 · 5 points · Posted at 01:26:00 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in high school pointed to a poster of Wisconsin and said "Oh cool, Africa!"
We live in Wisconsin.
Justynpunk98 · 1 points · Posted at 01:26:51 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
where in wisconsin? i lives in baraboo
Inkpress00 · 3 points · Posted at 02:22:57 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In my high school, there's two things to know. One, we were in just the right location that rich kids, ghetto kids, and redneck kids all kind of converged. Two, the class rating system was kinda fucked up - level 2/multilevel classes were the lowest levels, then went level 1, Honors, and AP.
I've always been an English person - that is, I'm better at writing and reading than sciences or maths. So keep that in mind when I say I was taking multilevel Ecology to get an easy science credit. This was also the class that literally went all over the school on Fridays and collected all the plastic bottles and cans and sorted them. For a personal grade. Not shitting you, we were literally doing the custodial work for class.
Anyway, it's an ecology class. Nature and shit. Two morons in their own right were presenting a slide show on Yosemite National park or something, I don't remember. Came to the past slide, huge fuckin grizzly bear, with the caption, "Come meet Teddy!" Obviously a joke. But this one girl. Oh my god this girl. Typical vapid rich fake blonde girl, got her Audi in the parking lot and her Coach bag on her arm, goes, "Teddy? If we go there can we actually meet him? Is he like Shamu?"
Me and the girl next to me literally look at our teacher who just shakes her head and says, "Multilevel," like it explains everything... which it does.
Most of the class was dumbstruck by that, but whatever, small potatoes compared to this one chick. Jesus fucking Christ. Redneck from the edge of town, let's call her Amanda cause that's her name. We actually had two dumbfuck redneck Amanda's in my school, same grade, but this is the brunette one. Another Ecology project, picking countries to do a profile on their ecosystems - "Can I do Louisiana?" Teacher goes, "Sorry, not states, countries." And yeah, you know where this is going. "Yeah, Louisiana's a country, isn't it?"
Actually don't understand how someone can be so ignorant.
suddenlysalamanders · 3 points · Posted at 02:51:34 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in my 8th grade science class actually thought the sun turned off at night
I3eta · 3 points · Posted at 20:56:18 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In high school a girl said if she puked she would feel sick because she's scared of her own vomit. Sweet ass tho.
AcrossTheUniverse2 · 4 points · Posted at 16:39:49 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know I'm late for the party...
"Print our waiver at http://www.mygroup.com/waiver.pdf, sign it and bring it with you to the first meeting."
Girl arrives with a piece of paper with:
http://www.mygroup.com/waiver.pdf written on it in pen with her signature below it.
MissMarionette · 4 points · Posted at 15:49:39 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
I've posted this before but oh well.
8th grade history class. A girl asked "So did Marco Polo, like, invent the game 'Marco Polo'?"
Of course, being the smug smart bitch I was (and always will be) I retorted with something along the lines of "No, you idiot!"
Also, same year, during my Wednesday catechism Bible Study thingaroo (I'm Lutheran, so we apparently get this shit done much earlier than Catholics do), someone brought up the Holocaust for whatever reason, and one girl who must've been only a grade below me and the handful of classmates that I had there asked, "Wait, what's the Holocaust?"
You had to read a book on it in 6th grade. You're in 7th grade and when you're in 8th grade you and your class will have to do a report AND a poster on a book about a Holocaust survivor which will be hung on the wall in the hallway for everyone to see. And the whole 8th grade is made to watch Schindler's List in the auditorium, a 3-day-sad-fest of beautiful cinematography.
Though now that I think about it, she might have come from one of the church schools, but that doesn't excuse her ignorance, at least not to me.
sharkbit3 · 4 points · Posted at 21:50:59 on March 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
Roommates ex-girlfriend... This was from a conversation they had via text message over a holiday break. He was back home in Florida, but she was at home in Minnesota (where we all go to school).
Roommate: "Well it's pretty late here so I'm gonna go to bed."
Girl: "Isn't it only a couple of hours ahead?"
Roommate: "No, no, no. What are you talking about? Florida is an entire day ahead of MN."
Girl: "No it isn't."
Roommate: "Are you serious? Yeah, it is."
Girl: "How?"
Roommate: "Geez, it's pretty scientific. I don't really wanna get into it."
Girl: "Ugh, I never know these kinds of things."
derpderp3200 · 2 points · Posted at 17:28:55 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't live in the US, but assuming they're on the opposite ends of the continent, isn't the difference at most somewhere around 3.5h?
sharkbit3 · 2 points · Posted at 20:38:04 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Three hour difference from coast to coast in the continental US. In this case is was an hour difference. Even so, neither of those are close to an entire day...!
kempsishere · 5 points · Posted at 15:50:18 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Knew a girl in high school that thought the dalai llama was a real llama. Super book smart, but past that, dumb as bricks.
ThatSpazChick · 4 points · Posted at 21:00:10 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
I girl I knew in middle school and high school was in my 7th grade science class. She really was a nice person but dumb as a post. My favorite thing she did was when we were learning about sound and frequencies. Our teacher had given us tuning forks and demonstrated how to use them. She hit the tuning fork to her hand as instructed then proceeded to hold her hand up to her ear.
"I don't hear anything."
eBunni · 5 points · Posted at 19:58:45 on April 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back when I was in 3rd grade we had a 13 year old in our class. A 13 year old. Obviously he wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box but we didn't know he was so lacking until he came to us complety confused about his grade in a science sheet. Besides not answering anything right, on the human body chart he switched all the body parts. Including the mouth and anus. As in, the mouth with the anus. I was so shocked I couldn't laugh like the rest did.
RiffRaffRuff · 4 points · Posted at 22:22:08 on April 22, 2014 · (Permalink)
After being pulled over for a blown headlight, my friends girlfriend tells the cop how we're all hanging out for the 4th of July.
It was in fact close to the 14th of July. After we told her that it was no longer a holiday, she then proceeded to say, in front of the cop, "Noooo, the 4th of July is like, a week long." I thought for sure that we were about to be searched for drugs.
The cop let us go though, and then we took a second crack at trying to explain to this girl, that the 4th of July, was only 24hrs long, just like every single other day. She wrap her empty little around it though..
qefbuo · 4 points · Posted at 04:49:17 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex girlfriend wouldn't eat seafood because "fish poop in the ocean", she looked at the ocean like a big pile of fish sewage.
I copied this one down especially:
"I was browsing through my favorites bar and came across a college sex video blegh, how these people even get into college is a mystery to me "
But I had conflicting emotions because she also said things like:
"Seeing everything in black and white makes you forget there's a whole rainbow there too"
"you're nothing but a speck in the memory of strangers. Only friends remember you and they remember you fondly."
Strange girl.
IGotChips · 4 points · Posted at 08:32:45 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wouldn't say dumb....but I taught a girl who didn't know the order of the alphabet. THERE'S EVEN A SONG!
kathanjohnson · 4 points · Posted at 13:31:35 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone I knew was similar, but he thought u always had to come after q, even in the alphabet. So he'd always get stuck around q and get confused. He was 15..
Glasses_Brother · 3 points · Posted at 02:15:02 on August 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wonder if anyone will notice
grampipon · 3 points · Posted at 07:46:20 on August 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
I did :)
112358Fi · 3 points · Posted at 21:28:56 on September 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
notice what?
sanmadjack · 4 points · Posted at 12:52:10 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Anything I can come up with doesn't top some of the commenters in this thread. Those claiming that a person is dumb for not knowing some particular fact, or for saying something that is actually correct that the redditor claims is wrong, these people are the true heroes of this thread. Learn to fact check before you condemn, folks.
Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa · 13 points · Posted at 03:13:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think our winner is the genius who said during class:
"Did the Big Bang kill all the dinosaurs?"
Hoo boy. Toss up between him and my buddy who thinks that reality shows aren't scripted and will blindly believe what any politician says on TV.
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 06:53:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Duh the big bang was created by a rogue dinosaur physicist.
Eternalpessimist23 · 11 points · Posted at 04:30:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Another girl asked if speed was measured in kilograms.
Katalysts · 52 points · Posted at 07:08:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Depends on what kind of speed your talking about
available-username- · 2 points · Posted at 09:16:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh she knew what she was talking about
Rec1umWrecker · 1 points · Posted at 17:02:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this made me LOL, oh my god I'm dying. It's not even that funny but I can't stop laughing.
theLoveGiant · 4 points · Posted at 07:07:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well it can be. Oh you're not talking about amphetamines...
bphilly_cheesesteak · 7 points · Posted at 07:21:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend Meaghan has said some really stupid shit before.
For example: "Which one is bigger, the earth or the world?"
And "Why don't we just drive to Europe? Isn't there an underground bridge we can just drive on? Why do we have to fly?"
notacareerserver · 3 points · Posted at 14:09:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If she hadnt had to spend 90% of kindergarten learning the ridiculous spelling of her usually simple name, she may have turned out a lot smarter...
I BLAME THE PARENTS
EmoKidSid · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:15 on July 6, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl who swore up and down that she and her family took a road trip and drove to Hawaii.
CiciCasablancas · 11 points · Posted at 09:20:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once lost my best friend in primary school, when i tried to convince him that the sun was indeed much bigger than earth. Even when i brought a book the next day he wouldn't believe me and got really mad and called me stupid. furthermore, even my teacher and the biggest nerd in my class weren't sure about it. I sighed when the discussion ended with "yeah, maybe the sun is just a little bit bigger than our earth, are you okay with that??!"
A_sexy_black_man · 21 points · Posted at 00:11:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Born in the hoods of Newark, NJ. Oh I've met some dumb mofos.
Just_another_opinion · 9 points · Posted at 01:02:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope you mean Newark, since Newar isn't actually a place that exists.
Source: Lives in New Jersey
Steveisonfire · 5 points · Posted at 01:15:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think he was admitting he was the dumbest person he'd ever met.
Just_another_opinion · 2 points · Posted at 01:21:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, it is New Jersey, so its not completely out of the realm of possibility.
Source: Still live in New Jersey
taboo007 · 11 points · Posted at 01:24:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I remember a girl in 4th grade who couldn't tell time on a non digital clock. Same girl who wouldn't walk over someone laying on the floor because it would curse her and her family for thousands of generations.
Other then that I think about 61% of the strangers I met after that have been pretty dumb.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:26:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
88 percent of statistics are completely made up
ThatWhiteCanadian · 1 points · Posted at 04:12:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe you got cursed by talking to her.
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 04:31:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
What? Is she a Hindu by chance? There was a rule or something similar like that. The only who gave a shit was teh people in teh Mahabharata themselves.
Creature_73L · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
eh. 4th grade is pretty young. I remember them teaching that some time between 3rd and 4th,
[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 04:44:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Clarck_Kent · 3 points · Posted at 21:32:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Seasons don't always start on the same day. For instance, spring usually begins on March 21, but sometimes it can start on the 20th or even the 19th. Seasons are a very specific alignment of the earth on its axis and the ecliptic, and solstices and equinoxes (equinii?) occur not just on specific dates, but at precise times. I.e., spring began at 12:57 p.m. on March 20 this year.
BTW, I am a college dropout.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:59:29 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
For the second one, that's fairly common, especially if you didn't see it announced on the news or something. And honestly, while seasons are TECHNICALLY determined by the positioning of the earth, in practical terms something like first frost is more helpful.
NotEsther · 1 points · Posted at 12:29:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Uh... I am 24 years old and have a Master's Degree and I did not know until right now that seasons officially have a start date...
Jhippelchen · 5 points · Posted at 12:57:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nah, winter starts when the Citadel sends out the white ravens. Though everybody knew that ;)
Chumlax · 2 points · Posted at 14:12:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Er snap, 24 with a Master's and I have never once in my life knowingly encountered anyone telling me that seasons start on one prescribed day. I am English, but I am struggling to think of a good reason why that would necessarily change anything...
NotEsther · 1 points · Posted at 14:25:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I too am English, and also wondered whether this was an American thing...
Chumlax · 2 points · Posted at 14:30:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hmm, maybe, if we're lucky, we have a non-embarrassing answer...!
BrainwashForJesus · 7 points · Posted at 23:36:35 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in one of my classes thought earth was the only planet with gravity.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:41:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What year was that?
I'm trying to find out if she grew up to be my 1st grade religion teacher. Who also thought the sun was a planet, and couldn't explain why the moon changes shape.
BrainwashForJesus · 1 points · Posted at 16:08:22 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That was a good two weeks ago
blackcain · -4 points · Posted at 04:28:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, it's the only one confirmed to have gravity. :)
BrainwashForJesus · 4 points · Posted at 04:29:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, no it is not.
Zeov · 1 points · Posted at 08:47:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
WHAT?!
you cannot be serious.
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 14:15:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hehe. Yes other planets have gravity. I was saying we can definitely confirm this one does as well.
Zeov · 0 points · Posted at 17:13:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
that was not the way you said it.
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 01:10:51 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
True. But come on, saying other planets don't have gravity when clearly most of the planets in this solar system have gravity is kinda dumb. looks at thread title Excuse, I'm going to show myself out.
Chronos-X · 7 points · Posted at 08:29:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't you have taste buds on your penis. Literally just happened...
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 18:07:45 on July 17, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy named Kevin who told me a story about how he was once wiping his butt and his finger tore through the toilet paper and went into his anus. He also stuck his dick in a vacuum cleaner hose, and liked to tell everybody he just met the story of the time he shit his pants when he was driving his truck.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 04:44:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brothers girlfriend didnt know when 9/11 happened. She also didn't know that it actually happened, she thought it was just a story.
Herald_of_Ragnorok · 3 points · Posted at 01:51:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I know doesn't know which is bigger: the earth, the sun, or the moon. Last year she looked at a map of the world and said "what's that?"
joeomar · 3 points · Posted at 02:05:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A college roommate of my sister's who thought the stars shown by reflected sunlight. She was majoring in elementary school education.
just_cows · 3 points · Posted at 04:25:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
eating breakfast with a group of friends after a night of drinking, friends one night stand looks at her plate, looks up and says "are these eggs like from chickens?" Best part was he tried to humor her like it wasn't the dumbest statement ever since he was balls deep like 3 hours prior. Priceless memory.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:32:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she was just way drunker than the rest of you.
miles_its_katie · 3 points · Posted at 04:40:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl that went to grade school with me who didn't even know who George Washington was.
Tracybugaboo · 3 points · Posted at 04:42:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend isn't dumb, but she thought miniature ponies weren't real, and that was pretty dumb.
ironfaust · 3 points · Posted at 04:48:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
New girl at work over heard a coworker and I talking about how we loved upstate New York and how beautiful it is especially all the trees during the fall season. She interjected with this: "I didn't know there were farms and stuff in between all those big buildings."
0_o
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 05:05:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:42:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If this is at Subway, I can assure you that it is not turkey.
PlasticGirl · 3 points · Posted at 06:11:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Worked with this girl who was hired Christmas help one year at a retail store. She couldn't tell which was considered 'carbonated' - juice or soda. I asked if Europe was a country or a continent and she said, "I've never had to think about it before." Another male co-worker couldn't spell butterfly. He wanted to be a psychologist. Somehow, I doubt that.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 06:49:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was stargazing with my stepbrother and boyfriend once and I saw a shooting star. I pointed it out to them, and when my stepbrother told me he missed it, I told him that shooting stars appear about every 12 minutes. The next minute I saw another one and pointed it out. He called me a liar because it hadn't been 12 minutes, so it was impossible that I saw one.
He also didn't understand why females use toilet paper just to urinate.
urnmur · 3 points · Posted at 07:27:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A story from a friend. He was working at a coffee shop and he overheard a girl saying very loudly, "only poor people share." Like.. no.. people share things all the time.
TonyKawk · 3 points · Posted at 07:53:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
a dumb girl in my baking/pastry class told me there are absolutely no carrots in carrot cake. She said this AS WE WERE MAKING CARROT CAKE THAT DAY. She thought the grated carrots were for a soup class next door. I wish I were making this up.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:56:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Revilo_ · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's an Enter Shikari song
verysillyperson71 · 3 points · Posted at 08:15:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl asked "Was Hitler bad?" I wish I could make this up.
KanyeEast11 · 3 points · Posted at 08:16:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roommate boiled sour milk to "kill off the bacteria" so he can eat cereal.
DEEMANYWNA · 3 points · Posted at 08:17:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A third year Business student believed that it is possible to plant sugar cane on the sun, harvesting will be done during the night. We had this discussion for a week, I don't feel bad for laughing at her.
I still have no clue how someone like her can be in her third year of uni.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 08:41:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I worked with (who is currently 21 years old) maxed out her credit card, and didn't pay it off, because she believed that a credit card balance remained the same until you just decided to pay it off. She didn't discover what APR was until she tried to get a loan for a new college she was applying to and had to have her denial explained to her by a financial advisor.
ThatCatLife · 3 points · Posted at 09:38:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my college English class who told us that "the Mexicans are all pregnant because they don't understand a woman's cycle." She also doesn't believe in science in general and thinks Nazi Germany is a valid analogy for the American Cancer Society, because stem cell research is apparently "just like the holocaust."
Normal_aussie · 3 points · Posted at 10:48:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kurt Coleman.
hurricane_bear · 3 points · Posted at 11:09:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Highly doubt this will be seen, but want to share. I'm a trainer at a call center, and a few weeks ago one of my agents (we'll call him Rob) was talking to this chick in class about science in an attempt to impress her. I'm not paying much attention to the conversation, but then I hear "chemistry is just, physics. Like,chemistry is physics."
Chick is looking at Rob all starry eyed. One of the other agents looks at Rob with a holy shit did you just say that expression. Before I can think of anything professional to say, a third agent says "mothafucka, WHAAAT. " Rob attempts to defend his intellect by responding "haha.. Wait, like, isn't it though? "
He doesn't work there anymore. I had to fire him after he no call no showed three days in a row. Turned out he was in jail after having been arrested for playing with a laser pointer in a public library whilst on shrooms.
Bruce_NGA · 3 points · Posted at 11:21:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Not so much dumb, just ignorant.
blackhairdontcare · 3 points · Posted at 12:13:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm friends with a girl who asked if you can go to jail for committing suicide, and that she doesn't believe in dinosaurs. She believes in fossils, but just not dinosaurs.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:59:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You can actually go to jail, if you survive a suicide attempt.
blackhairdontcare · 3 points · Posted at 23:03:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We explained that to her and she said "No I mean if you actually go through with it." She thought they would put your dead body in jail for murder of yourself.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:40:49 on March 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wow. Honestly? Where? I'd really like to know!
awaitsV · 3 points · Posted at 12:13:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were being taught about feminism in France during 19th century, the teacher asked for examples of feminist organizations and the girl next to me said "Kamasutra".
In college a girl was telling me about why she doesn't like a guy from class and i quote "I get bad vibrations from him, you believe in bad vibrations don't you? they are scientific." :'(
bertie182 · 3 points · Posted at 13:31:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had one girl who asked 'Where is the pork on a cow?', the thing that confuses me is that we were in a maths class so I've no idea as to why she'd ask that question anyway
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
shit doesn't add up no way you slice it.
decembrrr · 3 points · Posted at 13:59:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was one of the only international kids at my small high school in NY state, and this one kid came up to me and asked: 'Hey, you're from Europe, right? Does that mean you speak European?'
He also thought Europe was a country.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:38:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dated a girl that insisted that only 3 planes were hijacked on 9/11. I said no, there was 1 for each of the 2 towers, the one that hit the pentagon and the one that crashed in the field in PA.
She said "No, the Pentagon and the PA one were the same."
After some explaining, it turns out she thought a plane crashed into the pentagon, took off again, and crashed in a field in PA. She failed out of college in the minimum possible number of semesters (3).
cheesus_riced · 3 points · Posted at 15:02:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I live on a peninsula with a canal separating it from the mainland. It's connected to the mainland by bridges. A girl in my history class asked "If the bridges weren't there, would we float away?"
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:28:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in college, our university dining hall had these plastic cereal dispensers. They had labels, but the plastic was clear and you could still see through it.
I walk up to the cereal one day and I'm behind this girl ho has four bowls of cheerios in front of her. And she is filling up the fifth. Weird, but whatever.
But then she points at the label, looks perplexed, and says, "It says Lucky Charms up there, but only Cheerios are coming out down here!"
betabrains · 3 points · Posted at 19:11:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a roommate who was, for lack of a better work, a poseur. She got this obnoxious rock-mullet haircut, went out and got a full-sleeve of tattoos and decided she was going to be a trust-fund punk rocker (or something similarly annoying).
One night we were drunk on my porch and she was wearing a Ramones shirt, you know...the one with all of their names on it. I said to her "Without looking, which one of these people is the name of a Ramone: Ignatius, DeeDee or Bilbo?"
She answered: "Bilbo, D'uh" BILBO FUCKING RAMONE.
Another time, I asked her who won WWIII and she told me "the generals."
Hands down, dumbest person I've ever met.
warriors15 · 3 points · Posted at 19:37:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Conversation between a girl in my 11th grade English class and the teacher. Teacher: "Why should education be mandatory?" Girl: "Because if not, everyone would be dumb." Teacher: "If everyone was dumb, what would be the problem?" Girl: "Dumb people are stupid!"
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:32:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
thusly Reddit.
jerichoholicbrony · 3 points · Posted at 20:01:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So we had a debate about censorship, and while the debate was going on, this guy in our class said that if you look at a statue's genitalia you instantly lose your virginity... tried to convince the guy, but no use.
tinamcc · 3 points · Posted at 20:36:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My daughter was in Jr High school and she loved to read books. Some kid told her "You read books for fun? You're dumb".
Nahguacm · 3 points · Posted at 20:44:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One person asked "If the sun is so bright, why is space dark?" and in class we were learning about a saint who was clubbed to death, and the teacher said that is why his symbol is a club. She replied "Like a golf club, or the club that you dance at?"
Nixon45 · 3 points · Posted at 21:02:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a guy that believed the satirical news story, stating that North Korea had landed a man on the sun. That's right... the sun.
"WE LANDED ON THE SUN!"
asdgen3456 · 3 points · Posted at 21:15:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some girl that argued that Alaska was an island. we even showed her a map and she still did not believe us.
LurkerKurt · 3 points · Posted at 21:46:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a cat that was fairly large. He weighed about 20 pounds. I got him from my cousin's farm.
My friend's wife knew that my cat came from a farm and wondered if a dog had gotten together with my cat's mother for some interspecies sexy time.
You are reading correctly, my friend's wife wondered if my cat was part dog.
She is a college graduate.
pollyd16 · 3 points · Posted at 22:00:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once worked as a waitress with this girl, second year of college, really nice and sweet.. One day she left a note for our manager: "Left my paperwork on the tabel for you.. TABEL."
purplewings25 · 3 points · Posted at 00:04:00 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Went on a school field trip to a histroic plantation full of actors who had to stay in character. After we leave from talking to a "slave" (the guy did an awesome job), I overhear a girl asking another girl if it was real in a shocked voice. The other girl responded "I don't know". I told them that no, that actually doesn't happen anymore.
generatedbysomeone · 3 points · Posted at 00:05:46 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Walking around downtown Chicago when a girl around my age came up to my friend and I asking for money so that she could get her wallet back since she forgot it on the train. My friend and I being okay with the story and giving her some change she asked "what are these"? I said quarters, then my friend said "fucking chucky cheese tokens"! We headed down to the subway and a rugged looking guy yelled at the girl asking her what we gave her. She yelled back "Quarters"!
cravingnoodles · 3 points · Posted at 01:11:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister thought that the methods and technology used in the show CSI are real. Yes, she even believed in the ridiculous zoom and enhance stuff they use. Her argument was that "If they can do it on TV, they should be able to do it in real life as well".
Zouea · 3 points · Posted at 03:24:54 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I went to high school with had never seen a whole peanut, and thought they were made in factories, "like, out of plastic or something."
caliman64 · 3 points · Posted at 17:40:16 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My family was in a mall and trying to figure out where a certain store was. They were looking at a map. My sister saw the little star that said "You are here" next to it and asked, "How do they know where we're at?"
Meriog · 3 points · Posted at 20:28:58 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In my 11th grade biology class there was a guy who once asked, in all seriousness, where ice came from. The teacher just sighed and said, "Frozen water, Dave..." (name changed)
Meriog · 3 points · Posted at 20:34:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I knew a guy once who couldn't differentiate between the letter "q" and the letter "g". I learned this when I told him to check out a game on Gamefaqs.com.
Edit: Just to clarify, this was in high school.
redditsoaddicting · 7 points · Posted at 22:31:02 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
gamefags.com? Does that exist? Edit: DON'T DO IT!
Deadjuice · 2 points · Posted at 15:30:59 on May 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you google that, it'll try to give you a virus.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 01:42:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[removed]
[deleted] · 26 points · Posted at 03:41:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
'99? God im getting old...
Heemsah · 1 points · Posted at 10:50:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Try 1961...
InTheLifeOfAThrowawa · -1 points · Posted at 03:59:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
god damn, im born in '96 and i still see people born in '99 to be in elementary school for some reason.
emsude · 4 points · Posted at 07:06:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
And I'm quite a bit older than all of you and I still feel like a child.
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 16:33:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait a while old person disease gets worse. Born in '86 and you damn young whippersnappers are still in diapers aren't you?
zachm26 · 0 points · Posted at 07:51:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shit, I was born in '94 and you could be a legal adult now.
lich2000 · 0 points · Posted at 05:47:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He's older than me.
SILLIjimithingMAXIMI · 9 points · Posted at 03:36:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My freshma year in Highschool a girl in my class asked if dogs laid eggs. My hand to god, she was dead serious.
A_favorite_rug · 8 points · Posted at 13:24:34 on September 14, 2014 · (Permalink)
This might me the lat comment on this thread...
So...
Kevin...
Yeah...
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 04:58:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:41:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or she took a 6 hour break/nap and just Cosby'd her way out of it.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 01:01:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is back from high school. Girl from one of my history glasses when we were talking about WWI, "Wait... Where is Europe? Isn't it part of South America?" My teacher had to pull down the map and actually show that Europe and South America were in fact different places.
Numbnuts50 · 2 points · Posted at 00:56:04 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
It must have taken many years of training to do anything but fucking face palm at that.
M4zzm4n · 6 points · Posted at 02:32:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl in my biology class in high school ask if plants could get you pregnant.
M4zzm4n · 6 points · Posted at 02:33:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Also, she's pregnant now. Damn those plants taking all our women.
blackcain · 3 points · Posted at 04:34:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did you ask her which plant did it? It's that fucking nightshade isn't? If it wasn't, it was probably "Jack in the Pulpit"
dvboy · 6 points · Posted at 17:38:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was celery. He had been stalking her for a while.
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 01:09:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
You need to see yourself out.. right now!
M4zzm4n · 1 points · Posted at 17:45:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
They call it Atropa belladonna for a reason ;) I hear it's deadly sexy.
Edit: ...Ill see myself out.
blackcain · 2 points · Posted at 01:08:37 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
hehehe..
Rec1umWrecker · 1 points · Posted at 17:59:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
obviously it was the Nepenthes holdenii
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 01:09:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a cup of death right there.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:19:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In anime, they can.
reactionarytale · 4 points · Posted at 03:18:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: No differentiation between dumb and uneducated. Not saying there's no correlation.
On Topic: In art history class on architecture (art nouveau and such) our professor shows a black and white picture of the main shopping street in Frankfurt, Germany.
In the picture there are no cars, pedestrians are all wearing suits/dresses etc. I think there was a horse-drawn carriage in the background.
The professor says "this is Frankfurt in the 80s".
Some guy in the class asks "19th or 20th century?"
Gormweiss · 7 points · Posted at 03:47:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know someone who thinks France is in Quebec
notyourbrobra · 4 points · Posted at 04:48:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
took a class in high school my senior year called "The World Since 1984" as in the history, not the book (although quite good). We spend half of a semester on the cold war and this girl, I shit you not, asks the teacher, point blank, "why did they call it the cold war? was it like another ice age? we should have just given the russians coats!" My friend and I (we sat behind her) look at each other and can't keep it together. The teacher makes an uncomfortably long amount of eye contact with her to make sure she's not fucking with him, he squints, " Are you serious?…" she responds, "Ya, I thought…" "STOP" the teacher interrupts. "Just no…" and the class moves on…. she was attractive and saying she was dumber than a bag of rocks gives her too much credit. I am not a mean person but she earned all of the laughs that came her way… She was a prime example of how some kids get through private school because their parents have too much money. Yes, I went to private school and had to earn my way like everyone else. no, i wasn't given any privileges nor did I grow up with much money (a little friend we call debt), these cases were few and far between but they do exist. Sorry for the rant.
TL; DR - Girl thought the Cold War was another Ice Age
Bekenel · 1 points · Posted at 11:26:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Russians can make their own damn coats. The Russians do warm coats really goddamn well. That's why the Russians still live in Russia.
EsCaRg0t · 5 points · Posted at 05:56:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Convinced a girl in my AFJROTC class in high school that stop signs with a white border are optional.
QuaranteDeux10 · 2 points · Posted at 11:12:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Second time I have seen this bunch of letters. Australian here, please explain.
Furthur_slimeking · 2 points · Posted at 12:13:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brit here. I'd also like an explanation, again.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:52:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Air Force Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps. Basically its a class/club offered by high schools for students interested in joining the military.
EsCaRg0t · 2 points · Posted at 16:02:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Expanding on what tsloan27 said, AFJROTC is like a trial period for those interested in the military at high school age deciding whether they want to enlist; some go on to service academies (West Point, Air Force Academy, Naval Academy) while some go on to a college version (a la Corp of Cadets at Texas A&M or an ROTC program at another university).
In America we have zoning so, depending on where you live, you are sent to specific high schools. My high school would have been a school with around 1,000+ graduating class and the school with the AFJROTC program had around 400 in their graduating class. To switch schools like that you have to be accepted into a magnet program, which AFJROTC was, so a lot of kids who didn't care about anything military related would use the loophole to attend a school to get away from the large amount of kids at the other high school.
I enjoyed it for 3.95 years and had a scholarship to go be in the Corp of Cadets at Texas A&M until I was kicked out for "fake coughing in the back of a classroom" 2 weeks before graduation and became disillusioned with the military.
ScreamSalvation · 2 points · Posted at 16:29:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I believe it is like the British Cadet Force.
Furthur_slimeking · 1 points · Posted at 16:40:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ah! I was in that. I hated it, but we got to play with guns.
QuaranteDeux10 · 1 points · Posted at 09:35:54 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cadets. Got it. We have those too.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Air Force Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps. Basically its a class/club offered by high schools for students interested in joining the military.
limecakes · 7 points · Posted at 07:54:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Karen.
purple_bee · 1 points · Posted at 08:46:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
god karen, shes such a douchebag !
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 01:10:57 on August 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Whats Poland? That's a city in Russia right?"
This girl was in 11th grade. Not mentally challenged or anything. Just a bimbo who preferred to get drunk every Saturday(and usually drive herself home). She's lucky that she's pretty enough to be a model, if she lives that long. She ended up getting a 40 for the year and a 29 on the Final test, for regular US History. It's a shame I didn't get more quotes from her, half the time she showed up she was asleep.
Also a huge Duck Dynasty fan, a fact that surprises nobody.
Abcdeopqrs · 6 points · Posted at 00:17:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I had a friend, Roann, ask another friend, Justin, how to say "I quit" In mandarin Chinese. Justin responded correctly and Roann responded with "Wait, what does that mean?"
montu7777 · 2 points · Posted at 02:23:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Might be something about the name. My coworker, Roan, is similarly stupid. He's a really nice guy, but just doesnt get some things.
he'll also use common phrases and expressions completely out of context. i can't think of an example right now, but it's bad.
thelizahhhdking · 6 points · Posted at 08:06:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Porn star Casana lei.
I was dating one of her closer friends, but I lived about an hour away.
One day, a friend and I drove "Casana" and the girl I was dating to an event and as we're driving past a local skydiving spot near my town, I point it out and say "That's a world famous skydiving spot, they've set records and filmed movies there!"
This chick honestly and sincerely asked "Oh, where do jump out of?" She was dead serious.
Apart from just being all around ditzy and sounding like the stereotypical California beach hippy chick, she just seems so..dim.
Anyway, I dated two of her friends and see her strange and questionable antics on Facebook every so often, so I have a few stories but that's what came to mind
I_AM_BREADFISH · 5 points · Posted at 02:24:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone in my high school asked if MLK day was for his birthday or his conception day. Yeah...
Yourwtfismyftw · 2 points · Posted at 10:06:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really hope her family celebrates conception day. With videos and cake.
MightierThanThou · 4 points · Posted at 02:45:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When me and 3 of my friends crossed the border and went to Vancouver, BC to drink when we were 19 we met a Canadian who was probably 10 years older than us. The moment he detected that we are American he started telling us how ignorant Americans are. He said that we probably didn't know who the Prime Minister of Canada is. I actually answered correctly, I said Paul Martin. The guy goes "Haha you idiot. No, it's Jean Chretien! Who is Paul Martin?"
Jean Chretien hadn't been PM of Canada for 3 years.
For the rest of the trip, as a sort of experiment, I'd ask Canadians who their Prime Minister is and at least half of the Canadians I asked got it wrong. They'd mostly pause for a bit, think hard about it, and say Trudeau or Chretien.
9001 · -1 points · Posted at 03:47:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Here's why your story is bullshit:
MightierThanThou · 2 points · Posted at 05:02:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
When people discuss time they often measure it by how many of years we were in when something took place, not just time elapsed. Jean Chretien was PM until 2003. Paul Martin was PM from the end of 2003 until 2006.
So says the internet stalker.
By the way, the story isn't bullshit, you're just incapable of accepting anything that anyone says about your country that isn't glowing praise. I've met many Canadians who have admitted that a lot of Canadians can't name the Prime Minister yet almost every Canadian can name the President of the US, showing how much Canada revolves around the US. Intelligent Canadians are aware of how ignorant Canadians can be about their own country.
Saarlak · 0 points · Posted at 12:20:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair I doubt you'd find a dozen average Americans that knew who their state's senator is. Or which years we have presidential elections. Or how to navigate Walmart without an electric cart.
Source: 'Murican
OpMagickarp · 6 points · Posted at 03:43:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my friend doesn't know when new years is. He is 19 years old. The funny part? He still doesn't know and when i ask him he just tells me to shut up. I need to make new friends....
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 05:00:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 16:29:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Should have told him you were going to paint the ceiling so that it had extra protection against foot traffic.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 05:16:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My Sgt Team Leader in the Marines said this beauty:
Sgt: Hey Cpl Sothisthenewyear, I'm sending up the SITREP, whats ZULU time?
Me: Sgt ZULU is plus 10 hours.
Sgt: What do you mean its plus ten hours?
Me:You take 10 hours and add it to the current time. Its 0800 so just add 10 hours.
Sgt: Okay then whats the ZULU TIME now?
Me: Plus 10 hours.
Sgt: Just do the math for me when I ask you what ZULU time is tell me ZULU time!
InfoSponger · 4 points · Posted at 09:15:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Im gonna park this right here for ya, as you might appreciate it more than the others. I was working as a liaison between Aberdeen and Quantico and this Major and I would end up at the same meetings on both ends of the trip most times so we would do dinner or whatever in the evenings. One night after about 3 months I thought I had heard the dumbest shit he could stack and he blurts out......
Maj: Did you see that thing in the sky last night over the main gate?
Me: What thing??
Maj: The thing.... with the lights and shit... up in the sky....?
Me: Helicopter? Airplane? ET? gimme something to go on here.....
Maj: Well thats why I am asking... I couldnt identify it....
Me: and it was flying?
Maj: Yeah... no noise or anything.... just ... this.... object.....
Me: Soooooo..... there was an object
Maj; right
Me: flying?
Maj: yeah!
Me: that you couldnt identify?
Maj: Exactly!
Me: So.... an Unidentified Flying Object?
Maj: YEAH! (Looks around real quick) wait.... no.... Gunny.... only crazy people see UFO's, right?
Me: I didn't see anything.
Maj: Well me neither.... I mean.... not me personally......
I excused myself to go to the mens room and damned near cry from laughing so hard.
Shyatic · 3 points · Posted at 06:01:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My boss. I have no idea how he was put in charge of anything.
darkdoppelganger · 2 points · Posted at 06:21:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think I used to work for your boss, or his intellectual equal.
Rec1umWrecker · 1 points · Posted at 16:45:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
HAHAHAHA, that follow up though haha, I'm dying here, well played sir.... well played.
Shyatic · 1 points · Posted at 17:27:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I honestly wish I was kidding. He really is too dense to understand anything. Think of him as the boss from Dilbert.
oWatchdog · 2 points · Posted at 06:59:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Guy I work with called our cordless phone to find it since no one could locate it. Turns out it was in his back pocket. He pulls it out, glances sideways at it like a dog, then answers himself. He said hello several times before hanging up. On himself. He also wrote Bluck Bens instead of Bulk Bins for what it's worth. Ironically I was the one who was ridiculed for being able to stoop down to his cognitive level and figure out what he was trying to say. Admittedly it's a fair point.
joelthezombie15 · 6 points · Posted at 07:31:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I went to school with. She legitimately couldn't spell the word "special" like at all. She would spell it speshull. She was a normal girl very pretty but damn she was dumber than dirt. You couldn't have a conversation with her because she just had to ask dumb questions all the time. She was like Brian's girlfriend from family guy.
Fireboltsword · 3 points · Posted at 09:06:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, this one guy I met who was stone deaf, blind and totally mute. He has never spoken a word in his life. Completely dumb by definition.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Still probably smarter tha half the people in this thread
Vertana · 6 points · Posted at 10:09:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't join the military or you could fill this thread single handedly.
Bunchasomething · 4 points · Posted at 19:15:10 on May 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not a teacher but there's this one girl in my humanities, science, and math class who is just the most horrible person. At the beginning of the year she would do jack shit, read manga and hiss at people. And that's it. Around the middle of the year she would pick her nose, smear it all over her desk, or flick it at people, hiss at people, play her FLUTE FROM BAND in the middle of class when the teacher was giving a lecture swear really loud for no apparent reason, and read manga, when she would get up to go to the bathroom she would yell freedom right as she left the classroom (I could hear her from across the school when I was in the fucking gym), later in the year she would spit on other students, would take off her shirt in the middle of class and wave her flab around, and call other teachers cunts, and read manga.
Deadjuice · 4 points · Posted at 15:05:38 on May 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
Did she by any chance read manga?
firehatchet · 8 points · Posted at 00:05:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The hottest girl at my high school was totally on my to do list, until she asked "What was the holocaused?". Nevermind, not touching that with a ten foot pole.
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 02:53:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Do you convince yourself you had a chance with that amazing intellect?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:04:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Being retarded isn't something you catch.
Tlahuixcalpantecuhtl · 2 points · Posted at 08:52:50 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm sure she missed a great opportunity.
firehatchet · 1 points · Posted at 11:36:39 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh she did.
disco-nixon · 1 points · Posted at 06:53:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl ask what the holocaust was, then her friend came over, asked what we were talking about, and then said "the holocaust? What's that? Like a disease or something?"
joe-manji77 · 9 points · Posted at 08:54:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My high school world history class had debates every Thursday, when one day a girl came in after watching a video on the Internet trying to debate dogs are not intelligent because they don't speak using words my first and only line in the debate before being sent to the principal was "Yet you can speak with words but are still dumber than a dog"
Volundarkvioa · 5 points · Posted at 06:52:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Honestly, my mother. I love her to death, she knows a great deal about law (she worked as a paralegal for about 15 years before her company was closed and she was out of a job.) and would probably make an excellent lawyer given the chance she ever wished to pursue it (although she's worked with scumbag attorneys and believes almost all of them are corrupt, so she never wants to do that kind of work).
The reason I say this is twofold: My mother is highly religious, to the point of discrediting any element of science she even thinks goes against Biblical teachings (e.g. evolution). She also listens to a lot of conspiracy theories and believes those. Her biggest ones she listens to are on the illuminati and about Hollywood "blood sacrifices" that actors must go through to become famous. I've tried explaining science to her and explained to her the difference between theories that forfeit the idea of a god (see: abiogenesis) and those that do (see: biogenesis). A few that I've heard from her over the years.
On abiogenesis vs. biogenesis:
"Oh, it's called that because of Genesis from the Bible?" (I can see where she got that idea, but the word "genesis" simply means "beginning of" and it comes from Greek. See here: etymology of "genesis"/γένεσις)
On HAARP:
Preface: HAARP stands for High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, it is "The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP) is an ionospheric research program.. its purpose is to analyze the ionosphere and investigate the potential for developing ionospheric enhancement technology for radio communications and surveillance... It is also HAARP is a target of conspiracy theorists, who claim that it is capable of modifying weather, disabling satellites and exerting mind control over people, and that it is being used as a weapon against terrorists. Such theorists have blamed the program for causing earthquakes..."
rant:
Now my argument against HAARP worked on the basis of earthquakes, as this has been one of the biggest theories pinned against HAARP. I went into great detail about how plate tectonics work, how if we wanted to use such a powerful weapon, why use it on countries like Haiti, Chile, China, Japan, etc. (countries either allied with the US or posing no real resource we could gain from), ESPECIALLY when the "war on terror" happened nearby Iran, which is considered to be "one of the most seismically active countries in the world". After about an hour of detailing all the issues wrong with this theory, my mother agreed with me but said "I don't think man could do those earthquakes either. But it has to be demons doing it." After explaining plate tectonics. After explaining how earthquakes happen. It comes down to: demons.
Illuminati & "Hollywood blood sacrifices" With the Illuminati and "blood sacrifices", there is far too much to cover. However my mother seems to have this belief that any outspoken artist who talks about the Illuminati is some saviour who is trying to stop them. No, it's not something along the lines of the antichrist, but simply someone trying to stop a group that not only controls the world but every facet of the media (per Illuminati theory, not what I believe). Secondly, she NEVER looks at fucking political figures. Amazingly she has not once even considered Obama to be the antichrist (she doesn't like him, but she's never insinuated he's this false shepherd), it's ALWAYS fucking pop stars. It's always Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus or whoever is in the tabloid. She also obsesses over celebrity deaths, to the point that she condemned Michael Jackson to Hell for his allegations of molesting a child (not arguing whether this is true or not, but he was found not guilty), yet she cried her eyes out for a week after his passing. When Amy Winehouse died, she had never listened to an ounce of her music, but wouldn't stop playing it for a week after it happened.
Evolution:
My mother's main stance against evolution (or "evilution") is that it suggests we weren't created in God's form. I tried arguing that perhaps God's form changes over time, perhaps the concept of a "day" in Biblical terms is different than ours (not related to evolution, but part of trying to explain that the Bible could have non-literal elements to it [see: parables]). Still it's an issue of "but it says we come from monkeys". No it doesn't. Never has it said that. The March of Progess showcases "ape-like" ancestors, but they're not monkeys.
TL;DR: Hyper-religious mother disregards all scientific theory for anything she even assumes is speaking out against the Judeo-Christian God, follows Illuminati theory/"Hollywood blood sacrifices" (but is only concerned with Hollywood stars, not political figures or those who could make an impact on our daily lives), and thinks that demons are behind all mishaps, such as earthquakes.
AbsoluteLoss · 2 points · Posted at 09:09:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
...she has no business being a lawyer.
Volundarkvioa · 1 points · Posted at 09:18:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No, honestly she's never spun her viewpoints into her legal work. Trust me, I have overlooked it. It's just that outside of the law it gets a bit too crazy.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:24:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
All the law degrees in the world wouldn't top that kind of stupid, no, that is a special kind of stupid. Almost a willingness to be stupid.
yaarsala · 5 points · Posted at 07:49:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
idk if this is more ignorance or stupidity but i went to disney with this girl and we were on a ride when i screamed "oh my god" she took that moment to ask "wait don't you believe in Allah, not god?" ..face palm.
same girl..we were at a party and she was complaining about a giril in her literature class on isreal and palestine and how the girl talks to much about the politics and should focus on the writing..and said, "if she really wanted to talk about the politics I know there is a political science class this qtr on 'india and palestine' " that time i corrected her saying it was 'india and pakistan, telling her that her comment was ignorant and that the countries were in different parts of the world. She really didn't take it well..it really is funny how ignorant people think they know so much.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 08:23:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Literally yesterday in my English class, after writing about space, she addressed to the class that she 'didn't believe in the universe'. She then went on a rant about how she has never seen the universe, and that the 'stars' are just helicopters and planes.
Another girl then added that she did not know what a helicopter looked like.
For the record, I do not go to a special school, this class was only for registration.
Edit: the first girl is the same age as me, 17. Second girl is about 13/14.
AzusaNakajou · 1 points · Posted at 10:31:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's a shit ton of helicopters and planes
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:08:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think it has to be my self. The shit I think is stupid
AquaticCupcake · 2 points · Posted at 03:14:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Isn't Hitler famous for killing his son or something?"
Stevethepuppy · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ivan the terrible?
hurrymycurry · 2 points · Posted at 03:58:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this girl my freshman year of high school who was paired up with me told me to pick Michigan for our country project...it was supposed to be a European country
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:12:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend Tom. I called him dumbass in an exaggerated way you didn't know if it was dumbass or Thomas. Anyway this kid packs a lip of chewing tobacco in science class and puts his lips inside an empty water bottle and spits but fucking misses and gets it all over his sweatshirt. Now he doesn't want to get in trouble for chew so he gags himself and pukes all over himself to spare him suspension and got sent to the nurse. He could have just taken of his sweatshirt. He also thought there was a country called Islamia. I have more if you want.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:14:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
why would you get in trouble for having chew?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:13:06 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Most schools don't allow students to have any tobacco products, even chew, regardless of age. At least in central tx.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:15:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kid I knew in elementary school didn't fully believe that you could make yourself throw up by sticking something down your throat. So he shoved his pen down his throat and immediately puked all over his desk. He duped the teacher into thinking he was ill so he got sent home for the day. I don't know if that counts as clever or dumb?
purpleooze · 2 points · Posted at 04:53:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a roommate who was dumber than a box of hair. Once he asked me if rent was due "the same Saturday every month". Another time I overheard him on the phone with a client "I found the problem: the zip code has to match the city." He was a consultant at deloitte.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:06:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A girl in my wife's class thought that Caucasians came from Caucasia. Strangely she didn't go to college, just married a guy and started popping out babies. Poor kids
Edit: was supposed to Caucasia. Stupid autocorrect.
freethink17 · 1 points · Posted at 17:50:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, it's kind of close to the truth. Caucasus..
thuggycrocket · 2 points · Posted at 05:14:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In geography a few years ago, we were talking about the world's population reaching 7 billion.
"So 7 billion, that's the same as 700 million, right?"
My friend couldn't stop laughing.
DjPon389 · 2 points · Posted at 05:40:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
drivers ed, get to unit about standard transmission, blonde girl says "Teacher, this car has a third pedal, what does that do?" facepalm
mad_infinitum · 2 points · Posted at 05:51:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked at a sushi restaurant with a girl who was 17 or 18 and about to be Valedictorian at her school. I verified this through other people at her school because I could not fucking believe it.
One day she picked up the bottle of seafood sauce and the bottle ginger dressing, both with huge all-caps labels on them that say SEAFOOD SAUCE and GINGER DRESSING and asked me how to tell which one was which. Mind you, they were similar colors and bottle shapes, but a little literacy should solve that problem.
Another day I went into work sneezing and coughing. She asked if I was ok and I said it was just a minor sinus infection. She responded, "What's a sinus? I never had one of those!"
JonnyBoomBots · 2 points · Posted at 06:08:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Knew/dated a chick who thought Steven Colbert was legitimately a republican. She just thought he was one of the good republicans, who "got it". We actually had real arguments about this.
Then again, she also thought I didn't like "The Hangover" because I only liked juvenile humor and didn't get intelligent humor.
teamrocketgruntjosh · 2 points · Posted at 06:20:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid in my English class didn't like the book we were reading because it "has poverty in it and poverty is a democratic thing." He also thinks that our English teacher is brainwashing the class into becoming Democrats, solely because she said that poverty was an issue for some families.
SparklingBlueberry · 2 points · Posted at 06:27:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"The earth is bigger then the sun, right?" She's 21.
Thissqid · 2 points · Posted at 06:31:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My girlfriend but she's so hot
theLoveGiant · 2 points · Posted at 06:59:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was asked how people dye their hair. I responded spay paint (completely joking and obvious about it) the next day this kid comes to school smelling like chemicals and has paint stains in some of his hair and on his scalp and forehead.
mrssacco · 2 points · Posted at 07:04:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
High school science, a boy asked which country owns the moon.
warpfield · 3 points · Posted at 08:25:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well if putin doesnt get ukraine he may take the Moon :)
impingainteasy · 2 points · Posted at 07:06:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy I knew in high school. He never had any idea what was going on. He'd always ask, "So what are we supposed to do?" After the teacher had already explained a task, and then repeated it a couple of times for the jerks that weren't listening. I don't really remember anything specific he said, but it was mind boggling how someone could be so clueless. He pretty much never did any schoolwork, just sat at his desk with that typical idiot grin. I'm not even sure he knew how to write.
punkrockchick · 2 points · Posted at 07:33:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was in mexico during the summer & had left mexico already & texted my friend saying that I was in New Mexico then she texts me back saying "aw, I thought you were in the US already"
not friends anymore.
jerrygarcialovedme · 1 points · Posted at 17:36:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to UNM, people always ask me about taking classes in Spanish.......... a lot of people really do know it is a state.
ThereIsBearCum · 2 points · Posted at 07:39:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my year 12 Spanish class. She was convinced that Mexico was in Spain (yes, she even tried to correct the teacher on this matter, who was from Madrid).
She claimed she was saving the world by driving a hybrid. I live in a city where almost all of our electricity comes from a coal power station. She didn't get the relevance of that.
Also on her car, she claimed she'd never had an accident or hit anything in it. The fact that half the panels had dents or scuffs on them said otherwise.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:19:59 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haha, funny story. My best friends gf is a shit driver. Pulls out in front of FAST traffic, constantly tags curbs, almost hit a cop on the highway, and the other day i had to fix the plastic skid plate on her car, thing was torn ALL to shit, but she claims to haveno idea how it happened. But she claims she's still a good driver, because she's never had a ticket. A week and a half ago I bought her first vehicle from her dad because I needed a cheo beater with room to haul stuff, and he needed the cash. Paid him, and as I was clearing all her old shit out, found and OLD parking ticket. Haven't brought it up yet. Honestly, I'm afraid that she might never have paid it and the next time she gets pulled over she'll be going to county.
MA02007 · 2 points · Posted at 07:52:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Few years back went on a school trip to Italy. Here's some classics from one kid on the trip:
-"Do pick pocketers steal stuff?"
I can't remember the other stuff he did, but god he was stupid
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:00:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy in my high school government class spent an hour playing with a nail and some copper wire. At the end of the class he showed me he had wrapped the nail with the wire and asked why it wasn't magnetic.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:21:01 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In his defense, that's just a misunderstanding of electromagnets.
IWantAnAffliction · 2 points · Posted at 09:37:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not sure if she was the dumbest I've met, but...
We were in grade 10 history class discussing WWI and our teacher says, "The Germans started shelling the Belgians" to which she responds (shortly after applying lip gloss, not even kidding) "What, like, with seashells?"
She's blonde.
sharifood · 2 points · Posted at 09:37:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My best friend once asked me how to spell milk. She was 18 at the time.
iamaredditman1 · 2 points · Posted at 12:08:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a friend who, and I shit you not, thought Greggs was a country in Hungary. I think she acts thick. Another one was "I'm gonna shoot you with a knife!" She was dead serious.
nuno9 · 2 points · Posted at 12:08:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"A gazelle is a type of bird right?" "Is that the world map of Europe?"
Her: do you have a sister?
me: no.
her: is she called Robin?
JackTheJill · 2 points · Posted at 20:25:40 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
...well, is she?
nuno9 · 1 points · Posted at 21:15:34 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know what to say man.
JackTheJill · 1 points · Posted at 05:13:30 on April 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
it's a simple yes or no question!
she deserves a response.
evilengine · 2 points · Posted at 12:09:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
already mentioned it once, but my brother's friend was pulled over and ticketed for speeding. He somehow managed to secure a court hearing so he could argue against the fine, unfortunately he was running a bit late to the hearing, and en-route he was pulled over... for speeding. Sigh.
You stupid boy.
futboljunkie12 · 2 points · Posted at 12:29:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid in my advanced bio class: Teacher :"Do two gay men need contraception" Student : "Yes!" Teacher(looking puzzled) : "Why?" Student : "So they don't get poop in their willy."
All was said with a straight face.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:23:48 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I mean, yeah. That's a risk.
lukeyboy767 · 2 points · Posted at 12:33:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man, I hope this isn't too late.
You know how when a house is for sale it may have an additional sign above the for sale sign that says, "Reduced Price" if the price has recently been cut, or "Pool" if the have a pool? I was riding with a girl I used to date who was driving and she slammed on the brakes in her neighborhood and the conversation went like this:
Her: OH. MY. GOD. Me: What's wrong?! Her: WHY WOULD SOMEONE ONLY SELL THEIR BASEMENT?!
IronOmen · 2 points · Posted at 12:43:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My girlfriend sitting next to me during a solar eclipse:
"I forget, which one is in front...the sun or the moon?"
crowther3 · 2 points · Posted at 12:58:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This thread makes me want to be a teacher. Pure hilarity.
DeBlazin · 2 points · Posted at 13:08:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my science class asked my black friend if "Africa America is a country" later she asks me "where are a womans testes"
illy-chan · 2 points · Posted at 13:25:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my friend's had a classmate who was disappointingly dimwitted considering how much money her folks spent to send her to a nice private school. Here are the gems that were related to me:
1) She thought Cuba was Japan when asked to point out the latter on the map.
2) She thought a map of the Mediterranean Sea was a map of the US.
3) She believed that planes were slower than cars since they appeared to be going so slow when she watched them in the sky.
J-DAR · 2 points · Posted at 13:34:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kid I knew dropped air compressor on his hand cut off two finger tips also broke his foot jumping off a roof and trying to roll to disperse energy and also setting his hand on fire with ferbreeze
picklejuicedrinker · 2 points · Posted at 13:59:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I met in college didn't understand how credit cards work. She thought that if you "charged" something, then you just got it for free. She didn't understand that a bill came in the mail that you had to pay later. She didn't see why everyone didn't just charge anything they wanted like she did. Dumb or ridiculously spoiled?
ScreamSalvation · 2 points · Posted at 17:03:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Both
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:20:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Freshmen year history class we were talking about Kuwait.
Her: "What's Kuwait?" Me (sarcastically): "It's a type of bagel." Her: "Really? That sounds kind of good."
She wasn't the sharpest shed in the tools.
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 17:05:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Or the brightest box in the crayon?
dontknowmeatall · 2 points · Posted at 14:21:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I know once put her dog in the freezer because it was hot.
smalltowngirl07 · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wat
dontknowmeatall · 1 points · Posted at 23:27:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She's hot and speaks French, she can afford to be stupid.
smalltowngirl07 · 1 points · Posted at 19:48:13 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not gonna argue that.
Tentacula · 2 points · Posted at 14:37:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"...What is hotter, the north or the south pole?"
"The southpole of course. The more south the warmer!"
sutwilso · 2 points · Posted at 14:46:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I work at Walmart, one day me and this new cashier where talking. After a long time of asking me why I didn't know if the chicken at the deli was good, I confessed to her that I was a vegetarian. "Wow that's like impossible how do you do it...... Are hot dogs meat?" She has 3 children she is raising children and dose not even know that hog dogs are made of meat -_-
smalltowngirl07 · 2 points · Posted at 15:25:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You don't have to be smart to get knocked up.
bm97 · 2 points · Posted at 14:47:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Patrick Star
BigDMcSwizzle · 2 points · Posted at 14:58:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A jock in my science class:
"Which way is horizontal?"
He is a junior in high school.
lovelylayout · 2 points · Posted at 15:12:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She asked me how to spell orange.
Haced · 2 points · Posted at 15:36:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In middle school this girl asked my friend, "so are you Chinese or Asian?"
minecraftingredditor · 2 points · Posted at 19:07:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was in 5th grade, there was this really retarded kid. He squeaked and made retarded noises every day, and pretends he's a superhero. I remember this one time he spent 2 days on a 5 question quiz, and got a 0 on it. some days later, he asked the teacher if he could go somewhere quiet. The teacher's quote was "Why do you want to go somewhere quiet when you make noise and everyone else can take it?" His family is retarded too. I could come up with more stupid scenarios, so I will. I remember this time when he just kept squeaking really loud during a kickball game. Then, one time in math, multiplying fractions, he put 5x5=0, then 5x5=30. He also does not know what forms of words are, and he barley listened.
lunalives · 2 points · Posted at 19:12:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
She was one of those dumb as in dim students..
I had multiple classes with this twit throughout high school and I swear to Cthulhu, they based Amanda Seyfried's character in Mean Girls off of her. First day of American History, we got put in groups to make a list of anything that meant "American" to us. Her responses included "Galileo," "Sunlight" and "Julius Newton" (god only knows what she was thinking of with that last one.)
I later had her in a college psych class (no idea, seriously, how this happened, and I transferred schools that year) where I found out she had a boyfriend but they both believed it was illegal in the state of Alaska to have sex before marriage, and was thereby mystified that it was possible to do so. As in, she thought the state had somehow taken measures to prevent illicit games of hide-the-sausage.
wagsyman · 2 points · Posted at 19:17:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from my high school astronomy class asked how many stars there were in the sky, and when they would run out. She thought that a shooting star (she called them falling stars) were actually stars falling into earths atmosphere and burning up, and that we would eventually run out of stars and that wouldn't happen anymore
gb12rulez · 2 points · Posted at 19:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A few days after the Boston Bombing my social studies class and I were watching student news by CNN and The anchor says the suspect this to be a terrorist attack. This one very obnoxious stoner chick just proclaims "Uhh it wasn't terrorism because the guys were white." I was to shocked to reply fast enough and also wanted to watch the video.
Another time same girl is giving a presentation for the same class. We were asked to create a country and make rules for it. One of her rules were we have an area for white people and an area for black people. One of her rules were if you were black and were "well trained you could live in the white area" and viseversa for the blacks. I knew she was going to say this so i prepared a soundbite of Donald Glover saying "That's Racist!". She starts the presentation and sure enough she talks about her segregated country I play the soundbite and everyone laughs except her.
VenusFlyTrap13 · 2 points · Posted at 19:29:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
CNN Student News? You mean CNN Student News with Carl Azuz? Carl "makes a shitty pun out of everything" Azuz? Yeah, I dig that. Edit:
gb12rulez · 2 points · Posted at 19:30:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yes mother fucking Carl Azuz's puns were the shit
VenusFlyTrap13 · 3 points · Posted at 19:38:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Every time he signed off and made his last shitty pun my class would roll their eyes and say "ughhhhh" and then my teacher would say "I hate that guy" and turn off the screen.
adrenalineinduced · 2 points · Posted at 19:20:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl that asked my friend Viktor why he "talked so funny". Viktor was a recent exchange student from Russia, and told her this.
"What's Russia?"
this girl was a junior in fucking high school. the question wasn't "where in Russia?", or even "where is Russia?", no; she legitimately had made it to age 17 with no fucking clue what Russia was.
docious · 2 points · Posted at 19:30:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Does it count if I only met them on reddit? Cause if so it's definitely somebody from reddit... because you know... reddit. (Not YOU though! ... ;))
Black_Hipster · 2 points · Posted at 19:35:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I don't need to get an education, I'll just get a guy to buy things for me anyway"
Made especially tragic since she wasn't pretty at all.
ZachTheOwner · 2 points · Posted at 19:35:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Riley
5ype · 2 points · Posted at 19:39:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is more of an IT nightmare.
I worked with a guy in IT once. This was one of those people who think they are good at IT but really have no reason to ever touch a damn computer. Ever.
He was tasked with plugging in a Floppy drive into a server. The floppy drive was the old IDE floppy scsi cable. Well he couldn't quite get it on right. God knows that he was just putting it on upside down or something, or didn't notice the little notch in the middle of the female cable that fits directly into the male end of the cable. So, what does the guy do? Grabs a hammer. He hammers it on, breaks all the floppy pins on the motherboard.
That is also not his worse story either.
This guy did not belong in our society.
nonesuchthing · 2 points · Posted at 19:39:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Worked for a petty officer 3rd class in the Navy, that constantly amazed us with awesomely stupid beliefs, not that any of us were especially well educated! I remember whenever he ate French fries he wouldn't eat the last quarter of the fry he was holding, just drop it on his plate. We asked him why, and he said "you don't know where that part has been". After a few seconds of trying to mentally digest that statement, we asked what he meant, he believed when the Cook prepares French Fries, they hold each fry individually in the hot oil, one at a fucking time. When we pointed out that just isn't true, and how the hell did he tell which end of the fry the Cook had touched, he threatened to write us up for insubordination....
digitalstrife · 2 points · Posted at 19:41:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My bros friend applied to a retail job and after turning the application in he stole a guys wallet off the counter. The cops showed up to his door and he denied it until they told him that the store had cameras and they found all his info from the job application. That's just the top of the iceberg for that tard.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:43:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
During the Rob Ford crack scandal, before he admitted it, a guy I know actually insisted that Rob Ford can't have smoked crack: "even HE says he didn't do it!"
Yeah.
comFive · 2 points · Posted at 19:44:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dumbest person I've ever met was a girl that thought that Canada was below USA. And this girl is Canadian. She's just fucking dumb. That's what happens when you don't pay attention in school EVER.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:45:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class once asked my physics lecturer if he knew someone who had been in a black hole. So, that was fun. The same girl also believed that a gun bullet weighed 500g. Yup.
electricpanda · 2 points · Posted at 19:51:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brother's high school girlfriend. She came on vacation with us to Florida. Everyone kept reminding each other to be sure to wear sunscreen, because even though they tan easily, the "sun is different in Florida." Meaning, we're closer to the equator and the rays are harsher. After a few days, she asks us if the sun is literally different, if we only have two suns or are there more. We laughed pretty hard, but tried to be nice when explaining. There were other things, but that's my favorite. She's a working model in L.A. now. Ducking gorgeous, but oh, so, dumb.
trafficrush · 2 points · Posted at 19:51:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Playing cards against humanity at my uni with some new people in the basement one night. Girl did not know what catapults OR the Virginia Tech Massacre was. Sigh.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:52:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Those people who make idiotic, nonsensical comments on this website, yet still get gold somehow.
Pancreatic_Pirate · 2 points · Posted at 20:11:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was working the to-go counter at work, and a girl came in. She was looking through the menu while simultaneously gabbing on and on to her cell phone. I'm slightly eavesdropping, only because she's super loud. Finally, she drops this gem, "I'm getting food... No, I don't want to go over her house.... Because her dad has cancer, I don't want to catch it."
tehnico · 2 points · Posted at 20:16:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy I used to work with. Something about Olaf from Frozen reminds me of him.
swordthroughtheduck · 2 points · Posted at 20:17:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in one of my social studies class in grade 9 or 10 was looking at a map of the world, put up her hand to ask a question, and said "so, if you go up, and turn (does the thing with your hands to tell which way is left by making an L with your fingers) left? You would go to Russia?" She didn't seem to understand that the earth was round.
RunningRabbit_S · 1 points · Posted at 04:10:11 on March 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
OMG ! This guy I new totaly used to make fun of me for this exact thing. He was such a flirt!!
antanith · 2 points · Posted at 20:19:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I work at an academic library, and I had a part time worker a couple of years ago who didn't know what a bagels are, she asked me to explain "photosynthesism", and couldn't identify the cardinal directions to save her life.
thebageljew · 2 points · Posted at 20:27:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This ethiopian kid in my world history class thought that Africa was a country. BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Goodbye_JoJo_ · 2 points · Posted at 20:40:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl in secondary school/high school, let's call her Sarah. During our mock exams for our leaving certificate or final year exams we took a couple of the same subjects. One such subject was English. Now for our English exam we had two papers on separate days. We were told far in advance of the exams which paper was on which day and we were are fairly familiar with the layout of each paper to recognise one from the other by content alone.
Anyway, Sarah and I head in for English paper 1. I'm sitting in the exam , one hour in, not sure what to write so I decide to look around and waste time. As I'm surveying the room I notice Sarah is staring off out the window. I watch her for a few minutes while she continues to stare. About 20 minutes later she calls for the teacher, there's a brief moment of intense whispering and the teacher sighs and walks off.
After the exam I ask Sarah what happened. Turns out it took it over half the exam to realise she'd accidentally been given paper 2 despite it stating on the front page and along the top of each page which paper it was. The teacher had told her to continue since she'd used up too much time to change paper.
On top of all that she'd discussed the same text for question 1 and question 2 despite it saying in bold to use different texts so she'd lost a huge chunk of her marks.
After the exam results came out I found out she'd failed English and lower level Maths.
speabody0702 · 2 points · Posted at 20:41:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my sister and i are both in our 20s and we met a girl that was completely confused at the fact that we don't have accents when she found out we were half vietnamese half white. our asian mom has lived here since the fall of saigon and we were born and raised in tx.
DoctorGirby · 2 points · Posted at 20:43:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This sap in my modern physics class didn't know what an infinite square well was. It's like he didn't even read the book. The gall of some people...
leavethechickens · 2 points · Posted at 20:49:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A little late to this party, but a friend and me were smoking weed a couple years back. A girl in the room goes, "Is that a plant?" We're like, "Yeah." "Is it still growing?"
DenimMan13 · 2 points · Posted at 20:51:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My father's Marine Corp buddy, friend of the family, had a son, Billy. When I was in high school, Billy--who himself was now in the Marines--was stationed about 2 hours away from us, versus the 4 hour plane ride home. So on weekends Billy would come hang out with us, spend time at the beach etc. and would usually bring 4-5 of his closest friends.
All this is prefaced to introduce Dusty. Dusty was six foot seven in all his Marine glory, held intelligent conversations, not the brightest bulb, but smart enough and personable. Our guest bed was getting torn up by its box spring so Dusty offered to take a large cardboard box and cut it down to place under the mattress, but would just need some scissors. My mother handed him the kitchen sheers, the ones that cut through chickens, bones and all, and told him to be careful, they are very sharp. He says 'alright' and walks down the hall to the guest room to get to work. A few minutes later Dusty walked back to the kitchen, holding his blood-dripping thumb clenched in his other hand,(still attached) and asked for a bandage of some kind.
It seems that Dusty wanted to see how sharp the scissors really were, took his thumb and slid it along the blade, cutting his thumb rather deeply.
Elardi · 2 points · Posted at 21:00:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl during GCSE Geography and I were talking, And I mentioned that I was going Sking the Alps after Easter. Someone else mentioned that that was late in the year and the snow could have melted: I agreed but said that we were going to turn it into a walking holiday if that happened. Then the girl chimes in:
Girl: But wont they have melted?
me: They? err sure, but there is still snow at the tops
Girl: but once they melt you wont have any slope
me: what?
Girl: Once the mountains melt you wont be able to walk on them.
me: Sorry?
Upshot was: she thought the mountains were just piles of snow. During GCSE geography.
fromtheill · 2 points · Posted at 21:01:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The Dumbest (and by far the dumbest) person I ever met is on the Honor Roll at Rutgers University and is going to be a teacher...I still can not wrap my mind around it. I don't think I want to. Guess they just give those things away these days.
IAmAMagicLion · 2 points · Posted at 21:04:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A pretty common misconception is that the monitor is the computer. This is probably because monitors used to be quite large.
I had to explain to a 17 year old that the keyboard isn't the computer. The computer was attached to the back of the screen. They probably went away with the first misconception.
They're quite intelligent as well...
Haonsnikle · 2 points · Posted at 21:08:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know if any one will see this, since i'm pretty late, but i was talking to this 9th grader who had just found out that cats give birth. I asked him if he thought they came from seeds or something but i think he was too embarrassed to tell me.
Mypen1sinagoat · 2 points · Posted at 21:12:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Today a girl got her iPod taken away when she was using it during class. I heard her telling her friend about it during lunch and she said "It wasn't a phone, so they had no right to take it." Another time she her phone taken away on Friday and didn't get it back until Monday. Before the vice principal have it back, he told her he sold it on eBay and she FREAKED out.
RyanWyrzykowski · 2 points · Posted at 21:13:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"How many quarters are in a football game?"
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:17:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in high school who didnt know what a slew of common vocab words meant such as extermination and she thought that we were still at war (or at war at all) with Russia. She also thought that it was racist to state that polar bears are stronger than brown bears. Oh i could go on and on.
rabbithunter7 · 2 points · Posted at 21:19:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm in a 200 lvl stats course and in one of the examples we were doing in class had a part where we were adding the same two numbers together (very small part of whatever it was)... A girl raised her hand in front of 150 people and asked, "Instead of adding both numbers together, can I just times the one by two?"
sportstalker · 2 points · Posted at 21:22:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sheri Kruser
ninegiggles · 2 points · Posted at 21:36:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope I'm not THAT late...
There was a guy I used to work with, his whole house got flooded in a storm.
After the water came down, he thought the best idea to dry EVERYTHING he had, was to just throw some gasoline and lit on fire...
1ninjaunicorn · 2 points · Posted at 22:06:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well last week I met a coworker who doesn't believe in dinosaurs. Does that count as being dumb?
Mathamatical · 2 points · Posted at 22:13:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Max
mrmabry · 2 points · Posted at 22:18:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Best friends ex girlfriend TOLD me in a matter of fact way that only gay (men) can get aids from gay sex. She really, truly thought this was true. How, I'm not sure. She was 17 or 18 at the time.
l3v10 · 2 points · Posted at 22:18:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have this friend who does crazy stuff for laughs.
Snorting tabasco sauce.
Swallowing a live gold fish.
Piercing his lip three times with a safety pin.
Volunteering to get branded with a bent paperclip on his stomach.
Today he suggested eating a live feeder mouse.
He's fun to hang out with.
TheCubeGeneral · 2 points · Posted at 22:21:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was in my Sociology class, taking a huge test, when someone behind me raised his hand asking, "What's sociology?" The teacher sent him to the office less than a minute later. True story.
Godolin · 2 points · Posted at 22:43:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl I went to school with named Erin. Once, during history class, the teacher asked her a very simple question with a smirk on his face. He knew what was coming.
"Erin, how many days are in a year?" From across the room, I could hear the long rusted gears of her mind slowly clanking into motion. Like an old ticker tape, the answer strolled across her face and lit a dim bulb in the recesses of her eyes.
"Uhhh.... 246?"
This is the same girl that had no idea Brett Favre played football. We live in Wisconsin. This was during the heyday of his career.
draftysalmon · 2 points · Posted at 22:57:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
was legitimately asked what the capital of Manchester was...
Firevine · 2 points · Posted at 23:03:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, any given customer of mine at this store could fit this description. Holy shit these people... We'll just say that the ones that can tell me their name are the good ones.
Though I think that a couple of a good friend of mine's ex girlfriends might fit the bill. Lauren, for one, was basically illiterate. When I say "basically" I mean jesus tapdancing christ, Lauren couldn't read. It's been years since I have seen her, so particular instances don't stick out anymore, but the illiteracy was a biggie. Also the fact that she thought people believed her blatant, outright, pathological lying. She had her looks to go on though I guess. Mary, the girl he dated afterwards wasn't much better. She worked with me, and even this guy who worked there who had been a straight up crackhead for a while would look at her incredulously when she'd talk, like "what the fuck is this stupid bitch saying?" Once again, it's been years, but I do recall her not being able to count change, do basic math, or cut a pizza straight. I flat out told her to remake something she cut one day because I wasn't going to take her slop ass shit to my customer, and she finally had enough of me giving her shit and walked out. The manager said "thank fucking god." Mary did not have looks going for her like Lauren did. Mary was also a wwwhhhhhoooooorrreeee.
I do not know why my friend dated these two girls. I call him "Mexican Doc Brown". Dude has a mad scientist lab in his basement, and can cobble together some crazy shit out of what most people would throw away. Dude should have gone to Georgia Tech. Brilliant fucker.
To poke fun at myself for a bit, I asked one of my old EverQuest buddies who lived in Scotland if there was pizza delivery in Scotland. I'm sure it sounded pants shittingly retarded at the time, but I meant it in a "Has American laziness made it over there to you drunken bagpipe blowing sheep fuckers yet?" kind of way.
buttons301 · 2 points · Posted at 23:06:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were seniors in college, in the beginning of our practical teaching experience, and my partner, a 21 yo girl, proudly says, "I only learned how to tell time last year!" We were going to be teaching our third graders how to read a clock. Sigh...I ended up leaving the teaching program, and she is going to grad school.
_amandadanielle · 2 points · Posted at 23:53:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I see to work with a girl named Dana a couple years ago. We were receptionists at a busy salon. We used to check people in when they came for their appointments and cash them out. Dana would regularly check people in, and 30 seconds later when they returned to the frot counter to ask a quick question (like where the washroom is or something) - she would say the whole greeting speech again "hi how are you? Who are you here to see? Why time is your appt?" . The customers would always give me the "is she retarded look?". This happened regularly. The worst is when customers who have spent hours getting their hair done and would come to pay with a full head of curls or a giant up do that costs a lot of money - Dana would always ask then what time their appt was and etc.
Isco919 · 2 points · Posted at 00:46:23 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy in my biology class. This guy is so outrageously dumb that some questions he's asked and some things he say include: "Is it possible to have a baby born outside the womb?" "Would it be possible for me to have sex with someone and make a super baby?" "Sorry, teach. Let me just finish this level before I start listening."
perfectlyquiet · 2 points · Posted at 00:50:45 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Trillion is a number? Since when?"
This was a girl I went to high school with. We were also talking about pacts in social studies once and she said: "Like a pack of Indians?"
She goes to my university now. No one knows how.
gman_90 · 2 points · Posted at 00:55:10 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid today in my honors history class just learned that Pearl harbor is in Hawaii. Prior to that, he though it was in Boston, Massachusetts. He is a junior in high school...
RoaringLion5 · 2 points · Posted at 01:09:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl that a buddy of mine had in an intro art class asked the teacher about "how did they move these?"[http://www.ccsf.edu/Library/exhibits/olmec1.jpg]
Also another girl in a psych class asked "if Celsius was measured in degrees"
mattahari · 2 points · Posted at 01:48:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister-in-law recently asked me, at a gas station, how to stop the gas handle from pumping more gas in her car, as in, if she only wanted five gallons of gas, how does she stop it? .... I just stared at her, I thought it was a joke.
SocketLauncher · 2 points · Posted at 03:34:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one girl in my 11th grade art class had no idea when the war of 1812 started.
taitums · 2 points · Posted at 03:39:32 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl I went to high school with thought wheat pennies were made out of wheat.
TyrannosaurusBlack · 2 points · Posted at 04:01:12 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were learning about kidneys in biology class and the teacher was explaining how the kidney almost looks like a bean ,so this boy raises his hand and askes "So...does that mean my dad has a kidney the size of a bean?"
That was 9th grade biology class.
TheManOnTheMountain · 2 points · Posted at 00:16:02 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Golden
_Avalon_ · 2 points · Posted at 01:56:43 on September 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sad thing is, I taught a kid just like this.
Killzark · 4 points · Posted at 02:51:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once met Rick Santorum. He's pretty dumb.
Wardryer · -2 points · Posted at 20:46:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah it's pretty easy to tell how dumb someone is by meeting them once. Actually was around him a lot and he was pretty intelligent. Granted he's made some poorly worded statements and you may not agree with all his views, but that doesn't make him stupid.
Killzark · 2 points · Posted at 23:16:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was at one of his rally's when he came through my town. He straight up said we need to take nuclear weapons and blow up nuclear weapons favorites in Iran. I'm not even exaggerating.
Wardryer · -2 points · Posted at 13:21:50 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
What's the worst that could happen?
Endulos · 2 points · Posted at 04:30:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This woman I knew over the internet.
She was dumb as a brick in general, took her 30 minutes to understand simple concepts, but god damn one time she went overboard.
I went afk to eat dinner and when I got back she asked me what I had for dinner, I told her I had a poutine.
She asks what the heck is a poutine? She's American, so I don't blame her. I tell her "It's a Canadian food dish. It's basically French Fries, Cheese Kurd and a type of gravy. Usually, it's beef gravy but some companies do produce a "special" type of gravy specifically for poutine"
And she responds "What kind of gravy???"
I reply "I just told you... Usually Beef Gravy..."
"Yes but what kind????"
At this point I'm like, you can't be serious...
"Gravy made out of beef..."
She just replies .........
She says NOTHING for 15 minutes and then links me to a picture of a packet of some sort of fucking spicy kajun chicken gravy and asks "You mean this????"
wat
no
just
wat?!
I met her playing Ultima Online, so there were tons of shit like that....
theLoveGiant · 3 points · Posted at 07:09:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was she trolling you or was she mentally handicapped?
Endulos · 1 points · Posted at 07:18:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The sad part is, she wasn't trolling me. SHe was fucking serious.
ScreamSalvation · 2 points · Posted at 16:21:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
As an American if you told me you had poutine I would have asked WTF that was too.
But after hearing fries, cheese kurd, and gravy. I'd have just associated it with a some type of "loaded fries" and been done with that conversation.
Endulos · 1 points · Posted at 17:12:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't blame anyone foreign for not knowing what poutine is, it's just that she was an incredibly stupid person. She was a nice person, but dumber than a fucking brick.
Worst part is she was in her 30s.
ace_blazer · 5 points · Posted at 05:21:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT dumb high school girls.
valentinsteph · 4 points · Posted at 10:42:33 on June 1, 2014 · (Permalink)
Be French > Move to the US > Listen to the questions people ask you >
Some others are just clichés so I'm not complaining too much, even if they are not true at all, that's how it works ... (So french girls don't shave at all? // You guys never take showers, right?)
PigeonDetective · 4 points · Posted at 01:29:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister. Holy fuck is she bad at geography, and history, and anything that required reading at some point. Some of her more famous quotes are: - Is India in the EU? - The capital of Denmark is Holland - Where's Spain? - What's the capital of Africa? - Wait, there's a 'South' America?! (she thought there was only one America, the US) - She didnt know who Stalin was - Or who the SS were - or Mussolini - or palpot
She's 17 by the way
freethink17 · 2 points · Posted at 17:54:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You mean.. Pol Pot?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:56:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl from high school "Don't they like speak Hong Konganese in Hong Kong"
LivingInShanghai · 2 points · Posted at 05:45:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Almost. People speak Shanghainese in Shanghai.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:22:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't even think there was such thing. Thanks for the enlightenment!
Veritis · 2 points · Posted at 16:21:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Lots of different dialects in China.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:15:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is it based of mandarin and Cantonese but is a little different. Or is it really different like comparing Spanish with Italian (both similar but very very different)
Veritis · 1 points · Posted at 14:01:26 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's definitely based on mandarin. But I can't understand any Cantonese... and am fluent in Mandarin... soooooo.... might as well be completely different. Lol
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:36:05 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's really cool. I've been influenced by the north East Italian dialect from my grandparents all my life but never realised that Asian cities would be the same
MyUsernameIsJudge · 1 points · Posted at 03:47:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In high school chemistry, the teacher mentioned that the sun had a lot of helium in it. She asked if it had so much helium, why doesn't it float away?
She was also in my English class. One guy asked a trivia question, saying there were two or three basketball teams whose names were not animals or plural. She yelled out "Cardinals."
UNSTABLETON_LIVE · 2 points · Posted at 05:11:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Jazz heat and thunder?
Grok22 · 4 points · Posted at 04:46:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"When was the war of 1812?"
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was in the future.
RedLegionnaire · 1 points · Posted at 07:47:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
1814
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:52:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to be a bagger. (Person who puts the grocery of lazy customers in bags, so they don't have to do it themselves.) My co-worker put eggs under heavy stuff in grocery bags. Obviously they broke. He wouldn't be dumb if it was the only thing he did, but he did it 3 times. And everytime this happened he would look at us really confused asking what happened.
Cheef_queef · 2 points · Posted at 14:47:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You want me to spend over $100 in groceries AND bag them myself?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:34:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be honest, as much as I hated my job, I think it's better to have a slave to bag people grocery. I saw so many customers bagging in a terrible way that I believe the job just create a better environment.
But damn, the poor baggers are slaves. Most of the time they're doing twice the job of a cashier, but they get less paid because they don't have to deal with money.
Cheef_queef · 2 points · Posted at 17:56:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I actually bag my own groceries if there's no one down there. Also, they're usually kids and kids are basically tiny slaves.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The worst part is when there is a big rush that we don't expect and there is no bagger (because someone is missing or doing another job in the store) at one station and the customers just stay there watching. I wanted so much to kill those persons because it meant that I had to bag 2 places at the same time all by myself.
Also, I felt bad when I saw a customer trying to keep up with a cashier. Some of them where I worked could go 37 items/minute average and they wouldn't relax even if a costumer was bagging their groceries... Poor guys being drowned by their own groceries.
Cheef_queef · 1 points · Posted at 18:43:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A terrible way to go.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:45:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yea and most of the time when we were making graves the only thing we could write was "We think he liked cereals"
Trizger · 1 points · Posted at 08:25:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My step brother and his friend wondered how left handed people play golf. They concluded lefties have their own golf courses. Same step brother put swimmers ear drops in his eyes because he was too lazy to read a label.
exoomer · 2 points · Posted at 13:11:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Firstly, I have nothing against any American, I like you guyz, I have friends in USA and I know that not everyone is the same. But I never came across so many people who would believe so much stupid stuff I told them, as when I was in USA. I can't even really say those people were dumb, they just didn't cared about most of the things around them. They had no idea if I was telling them the truth or making up, even when I was saying the biggest stupidity I could imagine. I won't even write it here, just imagine something funny you would tell a 8 yrs old and he would still believe you - that was the same with adults.
KingWaffl3 · 3 points · Posted at 14:50:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just me. Or all the dumb people female in this thread?
smalltowngirl07 · 2 points · Posted at 15:23:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think some girls act that way because they think it makes them look cute. If a guy is a moron, his friends call him retarded and make fun of him and he learns to not say stupid shit.
mshecubis · 3 points · Posted at 16:03:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Buddy's girlfriend comes up to me while I'm playing cards and asks me: "What are you playing?"
I answer: "Solitaire".
She asks: "By yourself?"
Vaux1916 · 2 points · Posted at 16:31:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Sounds like something Yogi Berra would have said.
diamondeyes18 · 3 points · Posted at 16:14:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 01:11:44 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, one of my friends is a creationist.
SmittyTheSwede · 5 points · Posted at 22:35:51 on May 30, 2014 · (Permalink)
My class took a trip to NY and we saw the USS enterprise. She asked what it was and I explained what aircraft carriers were for. She gave me a firm and serious "thats so stupid" and walked away. This infuriated me and I dont completely know why.
Loverien · 4 points · Posted at 02:42:24 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
My cousin argued with me for a full fifteen minutes that the acceleration ramp to access the interstate was the lane that you slowed down in. This was an hour before she was to take her test for her learners permit.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 23:57:22 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my history class didn't know that Russia was an Asian country. She also didn't know what a peninsula was.
raddestnomaddest · 21 points · Posted at 00:14:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
To be fair, Russia is seen as predominantly an African country.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 00:24:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, come on! Everyone knows they're a Middle-Eastern country. How else would they be on a peninsula when Africa doesn't even have a coastline?
/s
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 03:30:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
How Can A Peninsula Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
Edit: Thanks /u/PopeSleepy for correcting my Jaden poetry
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:35:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think you mean "How Can A Peninsula Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?"
[deleted] · 20 points · Posted at 01:21:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well in seriousness, this is pretty dumb but even with most of Russia being in Asia, the more populated areas and such are in the European portion. Not saying she's not dumb, but I can see how she would make the mistake.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:15:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yeah....i didnt know russia was technically an asian country.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:43:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shame on you.
iamaredditman1 · 1 points · Posted at 12:14:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I can honestly say I don't know what a peninsula
Ask_Me_If_Im_Plato · 0 points · Posted at 03:07:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is a peninsula a big penis?
scienceofseduction · 1 points · Posted at 04:07:05 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Are you Plato?
crazymoon · 6 points · Posted at 01:48:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school who thought showing up a half hour earlier to a job interview meant showing up an hour later. His logic was that he thought people showed up a half hour earlier, so when his prospective employer phoned him he thought that when they said show up at 3:00 he thought that they meant 3:30, so disregarding said advice he showed up at 3:30.
perkyzebra · 7 points · Posted at 05:46:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Wait, what?
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:58:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He'd heard you're normally supposed to show up a half hour early and assumed that half hour had been knocked off the time already so when he was token 3:00 he thought that was 30 minutes before when he should have shown up while he actually should've shown up at 2:30 which is an hour before 3:30
crazymoon · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
His sister always told him to show up to a job interview a half hour earlier. He got a job interview for 3:00 on some weekday. He thought the interview was at 3:30 because he believed that this interviewer took into account the half hour earlier rule. He showed up at 3:30 because he didn't take the advice seriously.
DDoubleDDose · 6 points · Posted at 02:52:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Kid goes to get high in school. Gets high near fire alarm. Fire alrm goes off. Teachers come out of class and see him smoking. I try to explain that he got caught because his joint set off the alrm. He tells me that fire alrms detect FIRE not SMOKE. He is Arab and idolizes Hitler because Hitler hated Jews and he does too. He thinks that the UAE has the best military because "their cops drive ferraris so they can kick America's ass in a war with their ferraris".
He also asked me to get his book one day. I walked over to the bookshelf and threw it on the ground, took mine and made sure to walk all over his. I walk back ot our desk, flash him a big smile and say " idk where your book is". He spent 20 minutes trying to find his book. He actually stepped on it multiple times and I heard him constantly repeating " who's fucking book is this".
feanturi · 1 points · Posted at 14:04:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He might have been confused because emergency sprinkler systems are triggered not by smoke but by high heat from a fire. Of course there's usually an alarm already going by the time those start spraying...
DDoubleDDose · 1 points · Posted at 22:01:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some do detect smoke.
AshesOfArtorias · 4 points · Posted at 02:01:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At my job in a small grocery store, an elderly woman asked me to throw away her shopping list, which was on a piece of paper. "I'll recycle it for you." I said. "You'll what?" She replied. "I'll recycle it, rather than trow it away." I said, and gave her a smile. "But there isn't any room left to write on it." She said, pointing at the fully written on piece of paper. I was a little confused, so I merely said "You're right" and laughed about it with my co-workers after she left.
Parsles · 2 points · Posted at 03:59:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not met but heard of. Suggested going to the sun "Since we've already been to the moon" While we are at it, maybe we could go at night when it's not so warm there.
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 06:54:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At night the sun turns off and you can walk around on it.
Careb · 4 points · Posted at 04:29:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My best friends ex girlfriend was so phenomenally stupid. I went and saw the hunger games with them, and we had this conversation.
Me: hey Jill you know what the most fucked up part of that movie is?
Her: what?
Me: it's based on a true story!
Her: wow!! Really?!!!
theLoveGiant · 1 points · Posted at 07:06:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah we found this story written on stone tablets from the future.
pineappleorangejuice · 3 points · Posted at 16:41:31 on July 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend convinced someone that her eyes changed color on Wednesdays, and that she wore colored contacts to cover it up so that no one would notice.
I convinced the same person to believe that I (a very Caucasian girl) was half black, but had pale skin and green eyes due to a melanin deficiency (which I told her was a deficiency of pigmentation).
We were high school seniors.
i_smoke_trees · 2 points · Posted at 02:37:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My step mom. Just a recent example: She called me up to ask how to connect her tablet to her parents' wifi, so I was walking her through it. "Hit settings...you find it? Ok now click on Wifi." "Ok got it." "Ok, now that's where their wifi will show up, in that list." "Wait, but who are all these people?? I don't know these people!!" (She sounded really defensive when she said this last part). "....." It felt like forever explaining that those "people" are just all her neighbors' WiFi, and that she doesn't have to know whose wifi they are for it to show up in the list.
Edit: This was probably the wrong "stupid story" to use. Lol
adrippingcock · 1 points · Posted at 05:08:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My grandpa has me explain this everytime I connect a new device of his (he likes to learn how to do stuff) and I always explain like he is a little child. I love doing it and he is always defensive like that, but in the end, when he gets it, his face lights up like dawn. I don't think he is stupid, he just doesn't know.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:11:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I tried to guide my grandmother how to make a Facebook profile by phone and it gave me such a headache. She's not stupid, just hopeless when it comes to technology.
Commander_Shepard_ · 2 points · Posted at 02:41:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was a lifeguard lead I met this girl.
They called her Gullible Girl. Yes. You read that right. The lifeguards actually called her that because of her infamous repute for her gullible, stupid antics. To her credit, she was very polite to the guests of The Park, unlike some guards I had the misfortune or managing, and then firing, and she always went out of her way to help people. But logic did not exist in her seemingly feeble mind. She was notorious for being the protagonist of a myriad of harmless pranks by the guards, who in their perpetual state of bordom, devised all manner of ways to test the limits of her gullibility. But one day her stupidity outshined everything. I was at the break table, announcing to the guards on break the latest event the guards of the Park were having, a barbecue at a nearby park. Meanwhile, Gullible Girl is manning one of the pools, and a man approcahed her. For context, you must know that three days prior, our manager reminded the guards to not go into the pool unless it was an emergency. The exact details of what he said are lsot to me, but regardless they play a key aspect in the story. "I need your help!"
"What's up?"
"My kid is stuck in the pool."
"Where is he?"
"He's in that tube."
"He looks fine."
"But he can't swim."
"If he's not drowning there's nothing I could do."
"Where's your manager?"
She points to me. Guest comes over. Guest approaches me.
"What the fuck is the matter with your lifeguards."
"What do you mean, sir?"
"My kid is stuck out there, and she won't go get him!"
I look at him with a puzzled look. He's angry, but not panicking, so his kid isn't in any sort of danger, or he's an Argonian. But he doesn't have any scales or a tail, and Argonians have gills and can swim from birth, so I keep asking questions, and deduce the problem. After a brisk facepalm, I head down to where gullible girl is standing.
"Gullible girl?"
"Oh hey COmmander Shepard!"
"Where's the kid in the tube?"
"Right there!" She says. I examine the kid. Some 5 year old is stuck in the water, hanging lazily onto the tube."
"Gullible girl, if someone can't swim and is stranded, what do you think you sould do?"
"Ummm, throw him a lifeguard tube?"
"NO. Get in there and drag him out of the water, hopefully keeping him in the tube!"
"OKAY!"
The child was removed form the water without incident. Gullible Girl was spared the wrath of the angry parent, but not me. No, she got shamed by her peers after she told them herself, and I made her go through a round of safety training and 2 laps around the park!
mortuusanima · 2 points · Posted at 03:59:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm related to two people who are 100% going to vote for Rob Ford again.
I don't even tell people that I'm so ashamed.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:28:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well he's a fun guy
jfrey4 · 2 points · Posted at 04:17:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl I know told me that she initially failed her drivers test but her dad paid of the instructor for a pass. She later joked at a party that she once drunk drove her and a bunch of friends home after a night out...
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:19:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
theLoveGiant · 2 points · Posted at 07:05:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That is bad education and probably stupid parents poor girl.
BrothaBatman · 2 points · Posted at 04:36:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stupidest person is my Step-Uncle, my dad offered to pay for him to go to College. He declined, there was this girl that was cheating on him and using him for what little money he had, my dad told him that he should leave here, He didn't she had a child with someone else and left him. My dad said he should become a truck driver and that he could stay with us for 4 months so that he could save up and get his own place. He didn't do it, now he is 36 years old, no Job, no place to live, no woman and now his a complete conspiracy nut job believe every thing is against him and that is why it can't get anywhere in life. You can't even have a conversation with him anymore with out wanting to blow your head off.
Coffeezilla · 1 points · Posted at 05:24:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is it possible he's since developed a schizophrenic disorder?
susielythgoe · 2 points · Posted at 04:41:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
During a test in grade 12, we had to write out certain counties on the world map. She did it upside down
Edit: She put the countries in the wrong places upside down
vanquish349 · 3 points · Posted at 08:31:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well she isn't wrong.
theLoveGiant · 2 points · Posted at 07:10:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Was she from the southern hemisphere? Because if she was that's normal for her. In Australia you can buy "upside down" globes.
susielythgoe · 1 points · Posted at 10:15:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nope, she put the countries in the wrong places.
theLoveGiant · 0 points · Posted at 10:24:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh... lol
Creature_73L · 0 points · Posted at 10:19:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd say she's a genius for memorizing county lines like that.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:23:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a riveting conversation with a touched child in 8th grade about his understanding of WWII. Apparently my understanding was completely wrong.
The war started in 1941 when Germany nuked Pearl Harbor, so we invaded Japan and fought them in the winter, so we had no bullets so we had to use bayonets so we could made all the metal into a nuke so we could nuke Stalingrad, which is why it "is so dirty" This made the Russians think the Germans do it so we "invaded D-Day together" Then nuked Germany again. Then they surrendered. The end.
Also, the only aggressors were the US, Germany, Japan was neutral, and Russia was bad but fought us later cuz they were dumb.
I think that kid still works at McDonalds.
Saarlak · 2 points · Posted at 12:22:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is proof that we need to add history lessons to video games.
"The only way to stop the nuke from destroying Los Angeles is to type the name of the First US President on this here keyboard..."
DuckToots · 2 points · Posted at 06:24:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
2 parter:
My Ex-girlfriends called me while on the highway. not the exact quote, but close enough She asked "If I roll up the windows in the car while I'm driving down I-75 will I have enough oxygen to breath?"... It took a few moments for me to wake up, and I said "You're not in a fucking submarine. The holes for the air vents are more than enough...". She's studying to be a pharmacist.
She was by no means dumb... just... oblivious to things and blonde. She redeemed herself later by telling me at the drug store a man walked in and said to the pharmacist his house doctor recommended Gatorade for his wife, and asked if it was behind the counter...
MidEastBeast · 2 points · Posted at 07:04:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why are all of these about females...
Eliza_Douchecanoe · 4 points · Posted at 08:26:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really don't know the answer to that, but I do know that in middle school some stupid bitch, Sarah, asked out loud "Where is the ANY key?!" while in the computer lab.
ScreamSalvation · 2 points · Posted at 16:45:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Where does the TAB come out when you hit the Tab key?"
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:44:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Guy in my class was convinced that Antarctica wasn't a continent. and a girl in my class thought that the hutu's and the tutsi's were candy brands
Bekenel · 5 points · Posted at 16:30:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One time, I saw a guy on reddit that thought it was totally fine to use apostrophes in plural nouns. Goddammit.
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. So sorry.
Enderthecat · 2 points · Posted at 09:44:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Once on a road trip my friend's girlfriend pipes up that wolverines aren't real, that they're only made up for the comics. First time in my life I was ever speechless from stupidity!
DaveC93 · 2 points · Posted at 10:57:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I lived with a girl in university who genuinely thought that giraffes would build better ladders than humans because they are taller.
On a separate occasion she tried to convince us that aliens are grey shrivelled humans from the future where the sun has dried up the earth.
Maqata · 2 points · Posted at 13:08:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know someone who thought that Leprechauns had leprosy, which is why they were short. This same person also once drove an hour to find the end of a rainbow before giving up.
lexandroar · 2 points · Posted at 13:26:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's this girl in my biology class who...well. Basically, we were learning about genetics and DNA and all that jazz. We discovered that she believes DNA is an STD. And we have't corrected her, we let her continue to believe that. She later spread a rumour about this girl in my grade "catching DNA from some guy at this party last Friday"...
ScreamSalvation · 2 points · Posted at 17:02:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well... Depending on what the girl and guy are doing the girl could sort of catch some of the guys DNA.
lexandroar · 1 points · Posted at 02:07:25 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
She would have plenty of experience with that, I'm sure.
Numbnuts50 · 2 points · Posted at 00:48:57 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
"catching DNA from some guy at this party last Friday"
Sounds like a clever way to describe sex or swapping spit.
lexandroar · 1 points · Posted at 02:52:13 on March 29, 2014 · (Permalink)
See like it would be a clever way to say it, had she not proved her stupidity on the occasions she didn't know who Broccoli Obermah is.
iSmokeFrancium · 2 points · Posted at 13:28:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My jungler in EVERY League of Legends game EVER.
CORRU9T · 2 points · Posted at 17:42:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
An american soldier in Kandahar: "Y'all know what the 'm' in m16 stands for? Stands for 'Murican."
And he was dead serious.
bjos144 · 2 points · Posted at 19:51:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A mentally retarded person, probably.
Nintendo_Fan1 · 2 points · Posted at 18:57:15 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Literally started tearing up because of all the lighter this story gave me x'D
theknightinthetardis · 2 points · Posted at 01:24:37 on April 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to work as a receptionist with a girl who couldn't even manage to file things correctly. Where I worked, the charts for patients are numbered and the file cabinets have labels on the drawers for the number range, like 1-200, 210-400, etc. Any time she filed charts away they were usually in the wrong drawer.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Xilent_Lions · 2 points · Posted at 14:11:42 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
dammit I lost faith in humanity again
JKL97 · 2 points · Posted at 19:31:24 on July 16, 2014 · (Permalink)
My cousin knows a girl that thought that Denmark was in the south of Ireland
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 20:23:50 on July 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I always thought Denmark IS in the south of Ireland. Did NASA change the location?
kjbrasda · 3 points · Posted at 23:36:46 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)*
One contender would be the friend who drinks a daily dose of hydrogen peroxide for health. "...but it is food grade hydrogen peroxide."
He also doesn't have a job because he doesn't like people telling him what to do.
Another would be hubby's ex-coworker. Someone once asked him "did your parents have any kids that lived?" He replied "You should see my sister, she's really dumb!"
Out on a job, he would let all the air out of the old tires (big semi truck tires) before loading them into the service truck "so they would not be so heavy."
Ginger-saurus-rex · 2 points · Posted at 04:29:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, to be fair, those tires do hold a good few pounds of air in them at a fairly high pressure... Unless I am missing something?
kjbrasda · 2 points · Posted at 04:53:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
It would not change the weight any significant amount, especially compared to the weight of the tire and rim themselves, combined. It will, however, make the wheel harder to handle, and might make it pop off the rim.
eta: When they say "fill tire to 35lbs", that means 35 pounds per square inch, the pressure of the air in a properly inflated car tire. A person working at a tire and auto shop should know this, and if he didn't when he started, he should certainly have noticed after changing tires many times every day that the weight didn't really change.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:36:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
madsnorlax · 2 points · Posted at 23:09:23 on April 23, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she meant to say Ricin?
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 23:33:22 on April 24, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 04:28:32 on April 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
madsnorlax · 3 points · Posted at 23:44:34 on April 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
That escalated Quickly.
yanroy · 2 points · Posted at 15:02:36 on July 11, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once went on a date with a girl that consisted of playing beer pong/beirut at my apartment -- the game where you throw ping pong balls into cups of beer at the other end of a table, and the cups are arranged in a triangle. I believe we were both 21 at the time. We hit enough cups such there was only one side of the triangle left, and if you were to extend an imaginary line through that side of the triangle, it would have gone to the opposite corner of the table to the one this girl was standing at. She requested that the other team "rerack" the cups such that they were "in a line", with the clear implication that she wanted it pointed at her. I suggested she just swap corners with me and then it will be in a line. She was confused by this suggestion. A round or two later, she happened to end up at that corner, and suddenly exclaimed "they are in a line!"
There was no second date.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:20:10 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a guy come up to me as I was reading a manga book (Attack on Titan Vol. 2) And laugh at me because "I was reading the wrong way."
I sighed, and explained to him that the book was meant to be read like that.
He didn't understand, and walked away saying "Fuckin' Stupid.
Zay36663 · 1 points · Posted at 01:17:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this bitch named Holly
300zxTwinTurbo · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a dude once who would fight about literally anything. Granted, it was 5th grade. But still... he was seriously just dumb as shit.
WillWorkForSugar · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my Spanish class could not comprehend that America wasn't the name of a country and that it could actually apply to North and South America.
IllogicalProgrammer · 1 points · Posted at 02:27:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
So, there is this guy I worked with. Let's call him S. We went to same college and we went to same company after graduating. Friendship aside, sometime I am really tired with his shit. I will just provide two examples:
Year 1 of college. Everyone is busy with assignments. Since I am done with mine, I am helping out my classmates as they need it. He need some help with his coding so I took a look at it. Despite bragging about how great he was with coding, it seems that he got some basic coding concept messed up. Those are not a big deal, as people make mistake. So, I corrected it for him and move to help someone else. 15 minutes later, he call me for help. I look at his code again and got a sense of deja vu. Didn't I fix this earlier? I can't really tell as I had seen some other codes in meantime. I just fix it and move on. Then, he need help again. This time, I am pretty sure it was just the same code that I fix earlier, but still correct it. Then it happen again. This time I am rather furious as he is wasting my time. So, I asked him, "Didn't I fix this earlier?" His response is, "Yeah, and it worked, but if I remove your code, then enter my original code, then it doesn't work."
I went to cafeteria with another classmate and we saw him sitting there with yet another classmate of ours. So, we go over to say hi. Then, my classmate decided to ask an obvious question, "Hey, S. What are you eating?" Before anyone can point out his question is silly, S immediately answer, "Shit!" We all got stunned for 3 seconds and have no idea what to do. S then elaborate, "I am eating shit."
Edit: I can not into formatting :(
Monkey_Kebab · 1 points · Posted at 02:40:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In the late 80's I was the kitchen manager of a restaurant in Seattle, and was busy working when this waitress came back to ask me if Budweiser was 'imported'. Without missing a beat I responded 'from Milwaukee'! Next thing I knew she was heading out to tell god-knows-what to the customers at her table. Realizing the black hole of intelligence I was dealing with, I ran to intercept her (just in time).
dvboy · 1 points · Posted at 18:40:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This was back in the 80's... I went to a pub (in the US). Had a sign "All domestic beer, $2.50. All imported beer, $3.25." Got charged $3.25/per for Killian's. I pointed out the error to the waitress, who insisted that was right. Said I could speak to the manager if I wanted. I didn't bother, just paid it.
RabidRob · 1 points · Posted at 03:14:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
18 year old girl asked in geography class where a city center in a city would be... same girl asked in history class what hitlers role was in ww1 and if he was 'friends with america' She wasn't hot.
nasua · 1 points · Posted at 03:14:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met a guy at a science convention who asked one of the speakers: "Well, if we date things by AC and DC, how is it that the people before Christ know when he would be born?"
Later that day, he asked us how people had painted the Equator and longitude and latitude lines, and how it was that they marked them in the ocean.
studylyfe · 1 points · Posted at 03:34:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cousin: my favorite sushi is Dragon eyes
Everyone: oh yeah that's a good one, that's my favorite too.
Friend: Uhm.. I have a serious question , okay well..Uhm if Dragon eyes are your favorite then what are they made out of ? Dragons? Cause I'm so confused I didn't think dragons' were real
SteamBoatWilly21 · 1 points · Posted at 03:42:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in my high school driver's ed class asked if cars had autopilot...
RIPGeorgeHarrison · 1 points · Posted at 03:47:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
This is more of group of people, but one third of my class thought Cuba was US owned. I don't know how so many people could think that it one class.
Edit: this was someone else, dont know but I heard these people talking about how this one student claimed he was born in Russia was lying. Ome of the, said "He's not Russian, He's white".
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:48:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Keshia. Seriously. She is in her 20's and spent 10 minutes saying "gullible" Really slowly because I told her it would sound like "green beans".
MildlyAgitatedBidoof · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If TV Tropes is right, Ke$ha is actually pretty smart- she got a 30 I believe on her ACT and took Cold War history classes for fun. Of course, I can't say the same for her twin sister, Keshia.
LetsJerkCircular · 1 points · Posted at 03:55:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a customer go rounds about brand vs. carrier, in regards to a phone.
Yeah, it's compatible with [carrier]
It was actually made by ZTE, but it was branded with the company. (Most shitty ones are)
customer intensifies
...
I felt like I was Not Sure describing the use of toilet water on plants instead of Brawndo. It went on for so long, and they wouldn't let me activate the fucker. Trust me!
Melly_Gibsons · 1 points · Posted at 04:02:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He is actually one of my good friends… But this one time we were playing person, place or thing and after none of us could guess (it was a place by the way) he says, "Tits! The answer is tits!". After we all told him he was an idiot he tried to justify it by saying you can cum on tits so they are places. Now everywhere you cum is a place.
OsamaBinVader · 1 points · Posted at 04:07:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Myself.
TheOstrichLord · 1 points · Posted at 04:22:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy I worked with at McDonalds who got fired for being too stupid. After cleaning the bathroom he somehow managed spread blood all over the door handles and the sink. Everything he did had to be redone.
Sassy_Assassin · 1 points · Posted at 04:23:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know any particular thing this girl said but I do remember in English class, 10th grade year, she said something smart. Our English teacher was so taken aback he pretended to fall out of his chair.
sharkx69 · 1 points · Posted at 05:11:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
After reading a lot of these comments, I realized i'm probably the dumbest person I've ever met...
FDA_appr0ved · 1 points · Posted at 05:15:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Darkness EVERYBODY!!!!!
BATMANDK · 1 points · Posted at 05:18:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
there was this guy that thought drinking smart water would make him smart
redditslave · 1 points · Posted at 05:23:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my high school history class asked how people knew when to go and stop at stop lights in the early 1900's because everything was in black and white...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:41:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my sociology class thought that you could recycle toast.... I don't even know how you'd do that or what you'd do with it
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:42:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl last quarter in my history class, after a full one hour lecture on Du Bois and what he did for african american culture, yes I mean full hour not over an exaggeration, asked "wait is he black" it was mentioned roughly 40+ times that he was black. She the followed it up with "Was he a member of Ku Klux Klan?"
Trowzerpants · 1 points · Posted at 05:42:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Got an IT call from a site.. "Hi. I'm trying to plug in this printer. But the plug has 12 pins on the top and 13 on the bottom, but the hole has 12 pins on the bottom and 13 on the top????" Had to think of a tactful way to tell him to turn the plug upside down without it sounding like I was calling him an idiot.
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Guess I lack tact. Had similar situation and just told them "Spin it around the other way."
derpfacemcg33 · 1 points · Posted at 05:43:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"is delaware a city or a state?"
Commissioner_Freeman · 1 points · Posted at 12:27:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
From the UK. No fucking clue.
derpfacemcg33 · 1 points · Posted at 04:54:11 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
i guess anyone outside of the united states wouldnt get this...
mralbania · 1 points · Posted at 05:44:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was black history month, teacher asked the class who refused to get up on the bus. The goomba says aunt jemina.
eclip01 · 1 points · Posted at 05:49:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I don't get STD's I make all the bitches I fuck take a shower first"
WillIamn0t · 1 points · Posted at 05:51:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to high school with a girl that didn't know what a rain forest was. Rain.Forest.
QuantumDrej · 1 points · Posted at 05:56:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone I knew my first year of college, who insisted that he wasn't racist but would tell all who would listen that his family's in the KKK.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:03:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably my friend from school who told his Mom that he is a racist, and wants to kill everyone who is not white.
bitchmctwist · 1 points · Posted at 06:08:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in one of my early health classes asked if she could get pregnant from drinking dog semen.
No lead in, no awkward pause before or after. Just... out with it.
FeatherC1 · 1 points · Posted at 06:14:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a roommate once that asked me which nozzle in the shower was for the hot water, I said, I don't know look for the one with the "H" on it, after about 5 minutes she returns and says, "there isn't one with an H on it". So I said, I don't know turn one and if the water gets hot you win.
TheAmazingNord · 1 points · Posted at 06:16:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from my high school class wouldn't believe the sun is a star because it doesn't twinkle like the other stars.
teharchitect · 1 points · Posted at 06:17:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TL;DR girls make up most of the dumbest people we know
thesoupthing · 1 points · Posted at 06:17:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my sophomore English class actually thought that the world was in black and white before color TV was invented.
nightcloudd · 1 points · Posted at 06:18:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Person who asked the question "Could you land a spaceship on the sun at night?"
Lovethisgame33 · 1 points · Posted at 06:20:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Half the Kobe fans on r/nba
kentoad · 1 points · Posted at 06:23:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP
Banhammer40000 · 1 points · Posted at 06:28:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my managers at my old job. She said, "I'd like to subway into a new topic." She meant segue. Instant facepalm.
SpottieOttieDopa · 1 points · Posted at 06:29:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I used to work with looked at a memo and asked what "deters" means, she pronounced it "deeters"
l0rdsatan · 1 points · Posted at 06:30:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A chick I fucked, only one time... I think she was mentality retarded... Sex was good but she did not know what APR was... :/
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 01:11:14 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have two degrees and had to Google that!
JackTheJill · 1 points · Posted at 22:22:55 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
So, was the sex good?
JefeV88 · 1 points · Posted at 06:30:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one idiot that I went to high school with, that unfortunately has the same first name as me, which always somehow bothered me. I worked at the same place as him several years after high school, and one day while tossing cardboard into the compactor, he literally asked, "If I was in there (the compactor) and had you guys turn it on, the cardboard would protect me, right?"
I was so tempted to either keep my mouth shut and let nature take it's course, or maybe even encourage him to help natural selection along. "Sure Jeff, they'll protect you. But just to make sure, hop in and we'll test this theory." This guy is so dumb, he is never even aware that people are making fun of him. Kinda takes the enjoyment out of it, if you ask me.
Numble · 1 points · Posted at 06:50:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I was in there (the compactor) and had you guys turn it on, the cardboard would protect me, right?
I always tried to make jokes like this, where the answer to the question is so blatantly obvious, that the question itself is so fucking stupid that invokes a momentary "wtf.. are you fucking stupid?" Most of the time it went right over everyones head and I'm probably the town retard, but when there are those few that really get that my intention was to pull some strings, they start laughing their asses off. To me, I think it was because I always admired those spoofy movies, tv shows, and characters: Hot Shots, Naked gun, Woody Boyde, and Coach from Cheers. I always thought that humor was so fucking clever.
But, since I don't know this person you're talking about, it probably is possible he is an idiot, but I for one would probably laugh and play along. Again, cause I think its clever.
JefeV88 · 1 points · Posted at 07:16:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Knowing him, it was definitely not a joke or an attempt at cleverness. He legitimately thought that the things we were putting in there to be squished would prevent him from being turned into a .zip file. Unfortunately sad and stupid. Everyone in my hometown uses this guy as the epitomic example of stupidity.
Numble · 1 points · Posted at 07:45:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats sad.. even sadder that I think most of my friends, well the ones I'm starting to shed from, think of me the same as your hometown think of this guy.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:34:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once worked with a girl, and we had spent most of the evening blowing up balloons for an event the next day with our own breath. Then, we had some helium balloons that were starting to droop, so as a fun break I decided to inhale some helium and start talking which make her giggle. She then proceeded to grab one of the balloons we JUST inflated (not with helium...) and tried the same. She was really upset that her voice sounded the same.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:34:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
.
LittleDevotionalx · 1 points · Posted at 06:37:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl I used to work with posted on Facebook that her boyfriend (or whatever the hell he is) got her a promise ring. Then she posted another picture of two different "wedding" bands saying that she's engaged. Okay, great. THEN she posts something about "4 years strong". The kicker is that she was dating another guy (and posting about it regularly) about 3 months ago for 8 months. She has a daughter and used to refer to her past boyfriend as the father. He wasn't...
She's been engaged 3 or 4 times in the last 3 years.
Bonus story: This same chick openly refused to tell anyone where she worked once she got a new job, which is totally fine. Except she'd purposely make a huge deal about it when people would asked her. About a few months or so into preaching about privacy, she added photos of her wearing her Quick Check uniform. So much for that...
coladp · 1 points · Posted at 06:40:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl told me that coffee can make you dark skinned. She said that her stepfather was light skinned and the more he drank coffee the darker he got. I tried to explain this to her and she insisted.
occupyredrobin · 1 points · Posted at 06:44:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Late to the party but when I was 14 or so I met a guy who was 15-16 and I asked if he'd every tried drinking beer because I was curious. He said he had and I asked how much. His reply: "a handful." A handful of beer. This was just one of the stupid things he said and did on that boyscout campout, including shitting his pants and claiming it was mud as if mud smells like shit, but we all laughed about the handful of beer for years.
ScreamSalvation · 2 points · Posted at 18:59:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A handful is actually a legitimate thing. It can stand for "something that fits into your hand" I.E. a handful of skittles or it can stand for "a small number" I.E. I had a handful of beers.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/handful
occupyredrobin · 1 points · Posted at 22:30:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ha if only he said "a handful of beers." He said beer, as in the uncountable noun, and when asked how much a handful of beer is he told us its the amount you can pour into your hand. I guess I wouldn't have questioned it if he had said a "mouthful." Just ridiculous phrasing, I think.
Thanks for replying though :)
bridekiller · 1 points · Posted at 06:46:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My former roommate is a mechanical engineering major. He firmly believes that perpetual motion machines are possible. There was also a conspiracy theory sprinkled in regarding the government silencing inventors of limitless free energy machines.
anonisfag · 1 points · Posted at 06:47:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I like how most of these are "a girl I knew". MaleMasterGender.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:48:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid in my 8th grade English class answered a true-or-false question incorrectly......twice.
MattyG2314 · 1 points · Posted at 06:48:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend Bobby was convinced that Mississippi wasn't a state but a city in Louisiana. "Yeah dude, its Mississippi, Louisiana." Also this kid got a 30 on his ACT.
AFirstCourse · 1 points · Posted at 06:48:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP
cjfrey96 · 1 points · Posted at 06:49:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I know wanted to join the Air force, but unfortunately for her she forgot how to multiply. Fortunately for us she won't be allowed in the Air force and either fly or fix planes. She has no disabilities and is kind of a bitch so I don't really feel bad for her.
Goodlybad · 1 points · Posted at 06:52:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class asked "what does low risk mean?" . In year nine. It wasn't even a low class or anything.
Ohmcamj · 1 points · Posted at 06:55:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a partner in my Junior Lit. Class in High School. We wrote an assignment that just about exceeded the word limit.
So the girl I was working with printed out the assignment in size 8 font. I told her I was going to increase the font size and hand it in. I shit you not, she responded with "but if its bigger won't there be more words???".
Fucking floored by that logic. I have no idea how she dresses herself in the morning.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:02:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Told a girl, my friend had a Napoleon complex. She says, "like Napoleon Dynamite?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:02:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 19:06:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Good thing she didn't crash the internet.
brocessor · 1 points · Posted at 07:07:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Nick.
Tommycarpp · 1 points · Posted at 07:11:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Phillip
theMFbomb · 1 points · Posted at 07:21:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I went to high school with "is good Friday on a Monday?"
ZarquonsFlatTire · 1 points · Posted at 07:33:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my sister's exes asked if our dog had ever treed a deer.
SirACG · 1 points · Posted at 07:41:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/u/qondom
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:41:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So, this tread is about dumb girls apparently...
decay- · 1 points · Posted at 07:43:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have two different coloured eyes, and this girl asked me if I see two different colours in each eye, legit
alamodafthouse · 1 points · Posted at 07:49:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my waiter yesterday at Wahoo's in austin was either really stupid or really high, or both
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:04:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
so i am sitting here reading these comments.......why is that 90% of these are girls??? and mostly hot girls??? like if you are nice loocking then you dont need to learn anything about this world or something?
resonanteye · 1 points · Posted at 01:47:06 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP3cyRRAfX0
exactly why.
edit: also, fuck verizon in its filthy fucking scamming facehole.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:03:12 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
thank god i dont need to deal with verizon since i am not American :).....I think this has to do with the way we expect girls to not take intelligence as their main attribute, but rather focus on ""pretty looks'' and so on, thats usualy why hot girls are not as smart as for instance girls that worry less about their physical appearance
resonanteye · 1 points · Posted at 07:13:19 on July 12, 2014 · (Permalink)
girls are not encouraged from a young age to be smart, mostly. they're not rewarded for taking risks, getting their hands dirty, trying things out, being active or mechanically inclined.
everyone tells little girls they're pretty, though. I think it definitely is a big part of the problem
sisterstigmatic · 1 points · Posted at 08:05:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Religion is bad because in like the Old Testament, they like burned witches on the cross."
JackTheJill · 1 points · Posted at 22:45:05 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
"and what burns apart from witches?"..."MORE WITCHES"
sisterstigmatic · 1 points · Posted at 22:56:25 on April 18, 2014 · (Permalink)
Man I just liked the visualisation of them crucifying a witch and then standing around going "Man this is taking too long...let's just burn her." Also Noah's Arc is bobbing around in the background too.
acor003 · 1 points · Posted at 08:07:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Daniel
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:12:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
and also, could somebudy who has studied in elementary or high school in USA tell me, what kind of geography lessons are you taught???? i mean, here in Latvia we take that shit pretty seriously , like we need to learn Capital city of Morocco and Madagascar and shit like that.......
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 19:10:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Depends on the school. We do a World Geography class which goes over some basics. It touches on capital cities of larger countries. Then we do a US Geography class which is more in depth with listing of all states, capital cities of each state, state histories, symbols that represent that state, etc.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:56:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh, i see
mb2z · 1 points · Posted at 08:21:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Top 5 posts all quoting females... I bet all 5 were fine as fuck
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:22:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Haven't met him, but yeah, Gavin Free for sure.
How do your legs know they are legs?
Does rocks float on lava?
warpfield · 1 points · Posted at 08:27:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
oh man. after reading these posts, i understand why so many people believe in creationism.
prongs06 · 1 points · Posted at 08:28:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Dammit why are all the top ones girls???
jelvinjs7 · 1 points · Posted at 08:34:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A friend said his soda can could be biodegradable because it's aluminum and lot metal.
moonie1993 · 1 points · Posted at 08:35:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class asked if you could grate water... we were 17.
your_momy · 1 points · Posted at 08:46:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
myself
xAaaaa · 1 points · Posted at 08:49:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend once said: ''xAaaaa be careful of those scams that come on TV about starving children in Africa, they have huge bellies they just want your money''.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:51:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Interesting that most people here are saying he dumbest person they've ever met is female.
Mollyban · 1 points · Posted at 08:51:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People who say their eye color changes with their mood.
MindyChitChatter · 2 points · Posted at 10:20:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In those people's defense, "When my pupil dilates, the outer ring of my iris makes my eyes look green" is a bit of a mouthful. ;)
daxskye · 1 points · Posted at 08:53:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ex-Boss's wife is a winner here, I came to New Zealand from South Africa and she said she didn't know where South Africa was even though she's 40, she couldn't find her way around anywhere out of our town and would phone her husband to ask which way to go on every street corner. She couldn't download pictures from the net on her PC and so used an iPhone to take screenshots. Also, when we were discussing ages of livestock we talked about when animals cut their back teeth aged around 2 years she said; "that's so cruel, why do people cut their teeth?"
awesomefacepalm · 1 points · Posted at 08:58:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a girl in my class once. She promptly believed that hitler wasn't dead. And another time when we saw a film about Beethoven she asked if the guy in the movie was the real Beethoven or just ab actor. And this is just the tip of the iceberg
ojsca · 1 points · Posted at 09:00:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy in my high school English class asked the teacher out of the blue "sir, do the waves happen at night?" Deadly serious...
Doughnutkiller · 1 points · Posted at 09:02:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were talking about sea level and its effect on boiling point and a girl asked "so wait if your below sea level you can like breath underwater or something?"....came from nowhere at all.
MindChild · 1 points · Posted at 09:12:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some years ago in school there was a girl that seriously asked our teacher if "I can touch the earth if I am in space" I dont know what was up in her mind. She asked such questions frequently. Left school after 1 year.
ThatNordicGuy · 1 points · Posted at 09:13:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one time, in Berlin, two girls got "stuck" in the parking garage at our hotel, TWICE, because they accidentally took the elevator all the way down, and couldn't figure out how to get back up. Hotel staff had to take the elevator down, guide them into the elevator, and bring them back up.
MikeyNathan · 1 points · Posted at 09:16:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We went on a tour of Israel when I was 16 way back in 2000. One of the guys who i claim is the dumbest guy I have ever met. During a debate about the religious divide, proclaimed that he found the solution to the conflict in Israel/Palestine. And that bit of genius was to divide up the land between Muslims, Jews and Christians, 50 / 50 / 50. I laughed so much that i was kindly asked to leave the discussion.
candybaconlad · 1 points · Posted at 09:16:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I lived with this girl who asked our other flatmate if he 'still had his tattoo'. She was so thick that when she got angry she would just yell whatever came to mind; 'get out the fuck!!' was my favorite one.
palsc5 · 1 points · Posted at 09:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Year 11 history. After 6 weeks in the course she said: "Wait, were the Nazis the bad guys?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:18:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
rennaps · 1 points · Posted at 10:31:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ha ha, thats a beauty!
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:25:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Be me in year 12 Standard level maths. Learning about triangles, A= 1/2 base x height Girl asks what if the triangle has four sides
MFW She went on to get 96% Atar
Ruxini · 1 points · Posted at 09:25:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
friends GF: "Ew, we must get rid of the spiderweb - because when there are spiderwebs the spiders will soon follow!"
WithoutCaution · 1 points · Posted at 09:32:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh god, I've met some amazingly dumb people in my time, but these three are my favorites:
1 - In high school we would all sit on the floor in the corner of the cafeteria and hang out. One day this girl that we all knew was a little special, just lit up randomly and declared the following; "Guys, GUYS!!! I just realized... Every day, when we sit here, we make... A CIRCLE!!!" She then pantomimed what a circle was.
2 - A few years ago I took an extra job delivering pizzas. One day this little tweaker kid was standing there staring at the food coming out of the oven, and suddenly said this; "WHOAAAAAA... I get it now... The breadsticks... They're like made out of... BREAD!!!" I swear to god, I wish I was kidding. He was later shocked when he got fired for threatening a customer.
3 - Possibly my favorite... Last year me and a coworker were having a stupid conversation and making deliberately silly remarks. I said that when Unicorns get stabbed, they bleed rainbows. She casually corrected me and stated that their blood is in fact, silver. I then attempted to end the silliness by saying that her point held no validity, since Unicorns do not exist. Another coworker who had been listening to this entire exchange then piped up; "Ummm... Yeah they do!" She was serious. Dead serious. She really and truly believed that Unicorns existed, because she thought had seen one at a petting zoo one time. NOTHING could be said to dissuade her. She was over 21, had a kid, was barely able to do the most basic task assigned to her, and was an endless source of both frustration and entertainment to us all. Other doozies included: "7:15? It's almost 8:00!", "I had twins, but one died or whatever", If someone didn't speak English, she would scream to make them understand, and finally... I once told her that Panda Express was made from actual Panda meat, knowing that she would believe me. She just shrugged and said; "Whatever... Panda's taste good".
TL;DR We make a CIRCLE, Bread is Bread, Unicorns are real, and Panda's taste good.
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 19:22:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The whole kid dying thing reminds me of a co-worker I had that had twins. Both kids died shortly after birth but she had pictures taken of them before "they turned too blue".
She would show these fucking pictures off to everyone and had a binder she carried around with her where she had photoshopped these two dead kids into pictures of her at the beach, at home, on vacation etc. I'm not talking about one or two pictures. She had photoshopped them in dozens.
It was really sad but one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. Super nice girl, super fucking scary.
circusgirl · 1 points · Posted at 09:32:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My boyfriend. He didn't know that pickles are cucumbers. He figured they are just their own thing.
malahorna · 1 points · Posted at 09:40:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Matic Kocbek
SaintAndrew92 · 1 points · Posted at 09:44:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm currently studying for a degree in Chemistry, final year.
In my first year I had to do Radio Chemistry labs, working with radioactive material. One day, after finishing a lab session, the lab technicians checked the room with a Geiger counter to make sure no one had spilled anything in the room. The damn thing goes nuts!
Turns out a course mate of mine had spilled a bottle of radioactive solution all over his desk, tried to clean it up with hand towels and then just walked away without telling anyone.
The head of Chemistry tried to throw him out of the course, but somehow he's still here.
DRTwitch1 · 1 points · Posted at 09:46:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Girls
LiftsFrontWheel · 1 points · Posted at 09:47:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to school with a girl who thought that Hitler is still alive and that he was a russian, that there are populations of every single species of animals in Somalia ( she was a somali) and that Somalia is the best country in the world. She was absolutely serious. She also did stuff like stealing chicken from the school cafeteria. She was also fired from a mandatory two-week work practice program because she stole something. A worker caught her in action, but she still accused the manager for racism because she got fired. God I hate her. Luckily, I'm currently in a different school.
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 19:25:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You just better be glad she didn't try to take over the school, or try and ram the school with a boat. Those Somalians love playing pirate.
rainbowyuc · 1 points · Posted at 09:48:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had this one dog handler at my airbase who was borderline retarded. He had gate duty once and he asked one of the sentries to call base to get a replacement because he had to go take a shit. The sentry was kind of an asshole and told him he wasn't allowed to just to mess with him. So he holds it in until the end of the shift and then runs straight to the guardroom toilet trailing a line of shit from the pavement to the toilet. Me and some other guys were in the pantry when we smelled the worst fucking stench ever and came out to find him with his pants down washing shit off the floor with a hose. This guy was 20 years old at the time and he shit his pants.
HarfNarfArf · 1 points · Posted at 09:52:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kristine O. Went to school with her from K-12. She actually did quite well in school but man, she was dumber than a bag of rocks.
Here is Kristine on:
SCIENCE:
Ninth grade science teacher is giving a passionate and hilarious lecture on diffusion. He's a short, wiry, insanely athletic bald guy with a booming voice that is somehow both goofy and deadpan. Mr. Z. He's being quite animated, moving fast, then pausing for clarity, then moving quickly again to accentuate his point. His knees are slightly bent, his arms are at the ready, like a football player, as he helps us visualize the process.
"Ok, let's just imagine that a teacher on the second floor is making popcorn for his class. They can smell the popcorn just fine, but we can't; We are too far away. Ok?"
Class nods in approval.
"But if we wait 5 minutes, that goody popcorn smell will slowly travel from his room, down the hallway, through our open door. Now we can smell the popcorn. That is how diffusion works. The transfer of particles from areas of high concentration, to low concentration. Ok?"
Class silently approves again. Z is bouncing around as he lectures, making eye contact, eager to make us understand this concept. Then Kristine goes and kills him by saying, with a content dumbass grin, "**I can smell the popcorn."
To say Z deflated is an understatement. The intense longing for pedagogy in his eyes was brutally murdered with one short statement. He stood up straight again, and just sighed.
WORLD HISTORY:
Our social studies teacher, a lovable oaf and brilliant supporting character in the comedy that was our junior high school. He loved classic rock, Cold War-era American history, mob movies, all that fun stuff. He talked to us like we were friends (me especially, because I'm awesome).
We were more than halfway through what was by FAR the longest unit of study in any social studies class I have ever taken: Russia. We had been on the topic for probably 6-7 weeks at this point. I think we were doing a class of review for an upcoming class. Mr. Reid, the teacher, was going over the list of Russian leaders we had studied at this point, and the various reforms and notable events that fell under each man.
He went on a tangent for a while talking about the various atrocities committed under Stalin.
Kristine like a dumbass blurts out "Wow, Germany had some really bad leaders."
Reid was WAILING with laughter. He was quite literally so pleased with her stupidity that tears dripped from his eyes. It took us, a class of 30-minus-one 13 year olds and one 38 year old man to explain to Kristine some combination of the following:
Not only have we not studied Germany in the past month and a half, we have not studied Germany this year.
Russia is not Germany, nor is it almost Germany.
Hitler is not Stalin.
Hitler and Stalin have never led the same country.
Not only have we not studied Germany in the past month and a half, we have not studied Germany this year.
WORLD HISTORY CON'T:
In the same classroom, probably a few weeks before the previous incident. Mid lecture, another teacher, Mr. K (who coincidentally, could have his own "dumbest person I've met" essay) enters the class to talk about the upcoming basketball schedule for my team that Reid coached. Mr. K is this creepy, balding man with the stupidest facial hair and creepiest "I want to befriend my students" smile and unblinking dead eyes I notice Kristine staring intently at K, then looking even harder at the wall. She goes back and forth about three or four times and I just know the gold mine is about to be tapped. K leaves and Kristine says "Mr. K looks like John Lennon." Everybody, including Reid and myself, just kind of stare at her before going "...whhaaaat?" She repeats herself like it might help us understand. I make a crack about how Mr. K could literally not look any less like John Lennon. She points at the wall and says with a dumbass smile, like she just beat me, "look!"
I look. I see nothing. Pictures of the various Russian leaders we have been studying. Birthmark Gorbachev. Eyebrows Brezhnev. Mustache Stalin. Bald Len- Ohhhhh... Vladimir Lenin. Yeah, you didn't beat me.
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY:
One time she leaned an inch off her desk to pick up her textbook off the side shelf and it weighed her down. Somehow. She literally tipped though, like her head followed a perfect parabolic travel path from upright, to the floor.
heimdahl81 · 1 points · Posted at 09:53:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Two quotes from an ex-girlfriend:
"What do you mean I need to buy ink. I thought it was a laser printer."
"Fossils are just God's joke on scientists for not believing in Him."
Before you ask, yes, DD.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:56:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:06:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Congress woman Shelia Jackson Lee, just last week, said it was 400 years old.
rivfadder · 1 points · Posted at 10:02:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy i knew while i was at university:
-Why do you have the same key twice on the same keyring??
-Because if i lose this (holds up one of the same keys) i'll have this (holds up the other)
DrahcirWolf · 1 points · Posted at 10:02:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister-in-law. She was shocked beyond all reason when we told her that the moon moves. Then there was the time I found her looking at the map at the mall entrance. "You are here," she reads. Then, in a voice filled with childlike awe and wonder, "How do they know?!"
Coconuteer · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex is probably the most stupid person you will ever meet, here is a little list of her shenanigans (this was observed under the span of 2 months)
First thing: "my friend needs to poop all the time, she has such a small blatter!"
"Babe, the blatter is for pee, not poop..."
"Isn't it the same blatter for both!?"
Another gem caught while discussing foods: "i've started eating alot of meat, there is no fat in that"
"There is though..."
"No there isn't, where?"
"The white part of the steak is..."
"Isn't that pieces of bone??"
Aaaand:
She had acctually burnt cereal with milk... (She thought the milk was too cold so she microwaved it for 10 minutes...) she puts the toast in the toaster with butter and ham already on it... She nearly burnt down her house when she was frying bacon and the grease caught on fire, she poured a cup of water on it witch made it burn even more, when that did'nt work, she kept tossing more water on it........
Dat_Class · 1 points · Posted at 10:10:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dated a girl who believed that South America referred to the Southern part of the United States and The actual continent of South America was Africa even though she had seen the actual continent of Africa on the map as well. Didn't last all that long.
Clown_Penis_Fart · 1 points · Posted at 10:15:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Good old (lets call him Will) of year six. He got paper stuck in his ear and had to the doctor in the middle of class. Twice. He also spelled his name wrong and didn't figure it out until someone pointed it out, this wasn't just any class work either, it was his assignment for the term and by the time he found out it was already handed up. Good old Williamiam.
myxanodyne · 1 points · Posted at 10:17:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a girl in my RE class in secondary school who said 'Of course elephants are self aware, how else could people be able to ride on them?'
Nuklear41 · 1 points · Posted at 10:17:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who didn't understand the idea of MPG (Miles per gallon). She only knew that the higher the number, the better. I even tried to explain but there was no hope.
MisterPanty · 1 points · Posted at 10:22:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
there is a big difference between stupidity and uneducated.
cnwil · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend was twenty two when he got the name of his sixteen year old fiancée tattooed on his bicep on huge letters. He has since covered it up but I will never let him forget it.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my class thought that when someone with glasses took their glasses off, they couldn't see. Like a blind person can't see.
I just said "So, why don't blind people just wear glasses then?"
That blew her mind.
I wish I was making this shit up.
somethingfamiliar · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"So there are TWO Koreas? Which one do all the pop stars come from?"
Bronystrongwing · 1 points · Posted at 02:39:07 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Korea 2: Electric Boogaloo
The_Serious_Account · 1 points · Posted at 10:29:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Stories about girls.
Mancino · 1 points · Posted at 10:30:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pete, he once mistook his own reflection in a window for a customer, and addressed them 3 times before he realised.
longtermbrit · 1 points · Posted at 10:31:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I used to know thought that the earth was hollow and we all live on the inside. She was unclear on whether there was a flat plane we live on with a dome surrounding us or if we lived all around the inside structure but if it was the latter then the stars we see are actually the opposite side's city lights.
ZingasMcCoy · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"You're not chinese. You're asian."
chevyuk · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably not the dumbest person I met but when I about 10 my friends little brother knocked and asked if I could come out. I was about to have dinner so I said i'll be out in half hour then he said "but john said he'll be half hour, you're gonna be half hour, that means I have to wait an hour". I remember feeling so bad for him I just nodded and went along with it.
DeadFor7Years · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sitting in music class behind a guy. Dumbest person who always tries to pick fights with me. I start rubbing my jeans on the plastic chair and build up a static charge, reach over and static shock him and quickly return to my original position. Kid freaks out but doesn't say anything. Do this a couple more times until the kid looks up and comes to the conclusion that the lights above him were doing it. Screams at the music teacher that "THE LIGHTS ARE HITTING ME WITH LIGHTNING!" gets kicked out of class, still never told him it was me
Cursedpanda · 1 points · Posted at 10:43:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met a girl who was convinced that any gun control legislation would inevitably lead to a communist country.
When quizzed, using Australia as an example to the contrary, she replied, "no, it happens like 3 years afterwards".
Ummmm...
MindyChitChatter · 1 points · Posted at 10:46:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was 11 years old, my brother's (now ex) wife told me that she and I were blood related. When I tried to explain the meaning of "blood relative," she started nudging my mom and repeating, "That's something your mom will have to explain when you're older" wink winknudge nudge*
I felt so betrayed when my family laughed along. I learned later that they often laughed along with her so that she'd shut up sooner.
ladysomnambulist · 1 points · Posted at 10:54:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a flaming gay friend during high school who didn't understand why there was an issue with gay adoption because he thought when he met the right man, he'd just stop using protection and get pregnant. Why yes, he had failed biology.
Later, me and his boyfriend convinced him blinker fluid was a thing. As in, when your turn signals in your car don't work, you just need to refill the blinker fluid. He actually went into an autozone to buy some and spent a half hour arguing with the clerk that he needed blinker fluid, not light bulbs.
He was adorable but man, that boy was not the sharpest tool in the drawer.
ScreamSalvation · 1 points · Posted at 19:43:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We did the blinker fluid thing to someone in high school. Best one we ever pulled on them was that it sounded like their "muffler bearings" were coming out. I grabbed a handful of ball bearings we had in our machine shop and threw them all around the back of his car.
He left and came back a couple minutes later asking us how he could put his muffler bearings back in because they had all fallen out in the parking lot.
CorrosiveYolk · 1 points · Posted at 10:55:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one crazy ho ex-girlfriend of my friend:
She looked up at the moon while driving us somewhere,
"If someone were to blow up the moon, how would night come..?"
It's been, like, 5 years and this line is still rattling around my noodle.
owmeow · 1 points · Posted at 10:55:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl found out my mom is from Japan and asked if there were any beaches. She also believed the entire world was within the United States.
LiquidSwords89 · 1 points · Posted at 10:57:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In 11th grade a kid named Johnny stuck a pen in an electrical outlet, shocked himself pretty bad and blew the power in the entire school.
Went home that night and he got drunk and passed out in a bus shelter in the middle of Winter. He's pretty high up there.
maxipoopoomouth · 1 points · Posted at 10:58:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Friend of a friend, 29y/o girl. Thought the moon and sun were the same, "they just get switched on and off" she was deadly serious.
rennaps · 1 points · Posted at 10:59:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I shit you not: "you can tell the dinosaurs they use in films aren't real"
FortuneFaded · 1 points · Posted at 11:01:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Been friends with this girl for a while now, shame she really is a nice person, but not very smart. She once told me, in all seriousness "Dont you think its funny how all anorexic people are skinny?"
gantothes · 1 points · Posted at 11:02:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my college speech class gave a presentation on furs and why we shouldn't wear them. It was only fox furs that were ethical. According to her research fox furs were the only fur where an animal isn't hurt, she said she guessed they grew their fur back. Took me a minute to realize she meant "faux" furs and didn't know what the hell she was talking about. I had one of those barely containing an inappropriate "laugh until I shit myself" moments.
workingclassbum · 1 points · Posted at 11:03:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my old Germany class she was so fucking dumb it should have been illegal for her to breed, of course she now has three kids. Idiocracy was spot on.
Cuddlefluff_Grim · 1 points · Posted at 11:05:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I once met thought that the icons on the desktop on a computer where actual physical things lying somewhere inside the computer. I don't know, maybe she thought that the monitor was some sort of overhead? Don't really remember the conversation, hard to follow logic from people who are completely devoid of insight. She was also stalking me for a while, until she got knocked up by some other poor guy. At the ripe old age of 17.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:05:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably myself to be honest.
Jsut61 · 1 points · Posted at 11:06:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a girl who tried to convince me that Great Britain is a 3rd world country
Accidentalpizzaguy · 1 points · Posted at 11:09:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The temp sitting across from me in the break room at work as I type this.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:12:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in AP US History:
She asked if "is Viet Nehm part if Korea?". She was dead serious and wasn't aware that the Korean War and Vietnam War Are different things.
yarg93 · 1 points · Posted at 11:17:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my best buds "I thought the Holocaust was like Jewish christmas"
TheNoodlyOne · 1 points · Posted at 11:18:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"So evolution still happens because people still go to grocery stores?"
I... Um... What?
In her defense, we were talking about the Scopes trial, and allegedly one of Scopes's friends that convinced him to do it was a grocer.
Still though.
MoreThenAverage · 1 points · Posted at 11:19:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We show some pictures of Indonesia and there was a pic of a rice field. And saw green plants in water, pretty normal. Then my aunt ask how do they get the rice white. She thought foodcolor.
zb6422 · 1 points · Posted at 11:19:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My cousin of 18 thought a "black comedy" was a movie genre exclusively staring African American actors.
SquirmWorms · 1 points · Posted at 11:19:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sisters boyfriend didn't realise that the lamb that you eat... Comes from lamb. He thought it was goat.
Juhltan · 1 points · Posted at 11:20:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I convinced someone Lincoln (Spielberg) is based on a Shakespeare play of the same name and that Abraham Lincoln isn't a real person.
zacree · 1 points · Posted at 11:21:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I knew in highschool. She thought Bill Gates was the guy who orchestrated 9/11, thought Mother Theresa was a fictional character, thought chromosomes were what transferred sounds throughout the air, thought to had to shake pencils and MANY MANY MANY more. It's like she was just placed into existence with a basic knowledge of the English language at age 18 and that was it. Idk how she didn't choke to death trying to tie her shoes. Idk how she would do that, but I'm willing to bet she'd find a way.
Yoshistar · 1 points · Posted at 11:21:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A friend of mine had to ask another friend of mine if her natural hair. Color was blue.... Yes she was serious
CabrioFanboy · 1 points · Posted at 11:21:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My fiancé and I were buying our weekly groceries. The cashier had just moved to Connecticut from somewhere down south. She was telling us how she missed not being able to see drive-in movies. We were telling her that there used to be one near by but it had closed a while ago. I said something to the effect of, "yeah it's too bad, they closed Southington (meaning the drive-in theater) years ago" her response was, "really the whole town?" I was to astonished to come up with a smartass comment.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:22:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My ex-wife's sister is the most ridiculously thick-headed person I have ever met, hands down.
My ex and I bought a VCR when they first came out and my wife was telling her about how we can go to the store and rent a tape to watch a movie. Her sister went and rented herself a movie, then called us to ask us how she was supposed to watch the movie.
She did not have a VCR.
EDIT
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:22:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
An old work friend once exclaimed ''I thought I could hear something smelling'', to which I just could not reply
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh, Ana... She was a model. Think that one girl who married the guy from lost. She was a lot like her.
One day, I saw her trying to operate a vending machine. She had the dollar upside down. You know how that doesn't or didn't work a long while ago. Well, after 50 tries, I spoke up. "Ana, you have to flip it."
"Ohhhh...."
So instead of flipping it upside down for George Washington's face to look at the sky, she flipped it 180, horizontally... Back to the grind, Ana went...
I didn't have the heart to correct her twice.
bigfoot_is_real024 · 1 points · Posted at 11:26:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well, a mother of one of my good friends was born in Cuba. She came to the US when Castro let a bunch of people out, saying they could never return. Well this girl i know walks straight up to my friends mom and says "Mrs. (blank), Did you swim here from Cuba?" I don't think she knew what she did wrong....
kirlefteris · 1 points · Posted at 11:29:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I have met many genuinely stupid or uneducated people, but still, what I consider the pinnacle of stupidity is the obsession with religion, patriotism and other right wing views.
There are many educated or successful people with this kind of views, but I can see the underlying stupidity when someone makes the purpose of their life to force their beliefs and way of life on you.
I'm pretty sure my opinion is really unpopular though.
Jujewb · 1 points · Posted at 11:30:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had one of those little basic knowledge sheets first day of civics. Asked for out towns mayor, girl next to me writes "Steven Harper". Also, when we were speaking about the Magna Carta, she starts referring to it as "he".
brucetwarzen · 1 points · Posted at 11:30:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was on a date with that chick who said that grown ups is the funniest movie ever made. I thought she was joking, so i just said: "haha yea..." she quoted the movie all night long
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This extremely religious kid in my high school legitimately thought that dinosaurs were around 45,000 years ago...he also was extremely against gay rights. Lets just says he wasn't the most liked kid
akaCactus · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In primary school the classrooms got brand new carpet, we were sitting down listening to the teacher and he starts poking the carpet with a pen and a little bit of the carpet was starting to come out. He went to rip it off and ripped a good 15 cm line of carpet out. He got in so much trouble I did see that kid for 3 days after that.
ThugAimer · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex girlfriend's friend. On the beach in New Jersey, literally the jersey shore, and she asks "what part of Pennsylvania is this?". Apparently Pennsylvania is bordered by the ocean.
darrah2o12 · 1 points · Posted at 11:33:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl from my German language class: "Where is 'S' in the dictionary?" She was stupid as hell but the whole class was in tears of laughter when she said this.
FrozenFae · 1 points · Posted at 11:34:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My father....where do I begin?
Creationist
Tea Partier
Racist
Homophobic
Global Warming denier
Vaccine Denier
Seriously believes Obama is the antichrist
Seriously believes gay people are possessed by demons
Seriously believes atheists ARE demons
Thinks Stephen Hawking is a high ranking demon sent to deceive true believers
Honestly believes women are subservient to men
....shall I continue on?
adorkable93 · 1 points · Posted at 11:35:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A friend of mine replaces words with other ones all the time. Sometimes, they sound similar or they are related in some way, like fondant = fondue or constellation = consolation. But, other times, there just made up, like a "door-bender" = door hinges or "harry-foams" = pheromones. I feel bad occasionally, I used to correct her when she did it, but I gave up a while ago. These are some of the things she's said:
This last one isn't about switching words, but it's still ridiculous... * "Only people who were sex abused as kids are gay." She gave us this gem when she announced she was a "lesbian, who still likes dick"....
shrc91 · 1 points · Posted at 11:37:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once convinced a girl at my school that we needed a passport to get into central London (we live about two hours away) and that they use Euros there.
Following day she's packed a mini-suitcase, had exchanged £150 worth and had passport in hand.
Entire day: 'when is the border?'
icy37 · 1 points · Posted at 11:37:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Year 9 history- "Ohh, I though guerrilla warfare was something to do with big, hairy men"
anniemg01 · 1 points · Posted at 11:39:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex-boss was caught cleaning her computer thoroughly because she "didn't want to catch the computer virus going around." I am not joking.
chinote · 1 points · Posted at 11:40:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brides mother, "don't put to much in the balloons otherwise they will get too heavy and sink"
took_my_time · 1 points · Posted at 11:42:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We have a tv show called "The 7:30 report." Our teacher asked us to watch it that night. A girl who is known for these types of questions then asks what time it is on.
TheSpecificRandomer · 1 points · Posted at 11:42:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Very late to the party so this will probably get buried but...
One girl in my secondary school (she was 17 when she said these)
"If planes fly really high wont they bump into God?" and
"If a woman has a nose job will her baby have her new nose or her old nose?"
I thought she was stupid before these comments but after she said this i knew she was thick as pig shit....
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:43:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A classmate:
"What's a dam?" "But...aren't vampires not real?"
sreiter920 · 1 points · Posted at 11:44:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm late to the thread but here it goes. One of my friends fully believed that Latin was not a dead language because there are people living in Latin America.
indiederp · 1 points · Posted at 11:45:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl at my high school: "who cares about global warming, if the sea levels rise then all of the islands will just like float away..." The teacher nearly cried.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I uses to train for directv. I was doing an "up training" during the big HD push for a group of agents who had worked there for roughly 2 years.
I was explaining that when customers call in to order HD equipment and schedule the install a new dish would be required, as the HD channels came from a separate satellite location.
One girl who had been on the account for almost 2.5 years was staring at me blankly. When I asked her what she didn't understand, the conversation went something like this:
Her: you mean the dishes are used?
Me: what do you mean?
Her: the dishes. On the roof? They actually do something?
Me: are you serious?
Her: yeah. I thought we put those up there for advertisement.
Me: ... ... ... .... promptly sits down and places head in hands
I have so many stories about stupidity from my 4 years working for that company I have seriously considered trying to write a television series.
Bronystrongwing · 1 points · Posted at 03:14:39 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'd watch it.
Balls_deerp · 1 points · Posted at 11:47:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend isn't dumb as such just has massive gaps in her knowledge.
"Early bird gets the germ"
"Bob Marley is the king of Jamaica"
"Nelson Mandela is the king of Africa"
Joliet_Jake_Blues · 1 points · Posted at 11:48:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: "I know this girl..."
psjoe96 · 1 points · Posted at 11:49:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once dated a girl who in all seriousness asked me if lightning was alive.
I dated her for 3 1/2 years so I'm not sure which one of us was the dumbest.
EdgarMallory · 1 points · Posted at 11:50:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex-girlfriend actually. I guess she wasn't particularly dumb, but she used to mispronounce words all the time, like she would say horizon the same way you pronounce horizontal- like horry-ZON :p And she thought you could get a virus on your computer from using online multiplayer in minecraft.. But she was cute and pretty and liked me, so I didn't care :)
TayrificHo1 · 1 points · Posted at 11:51:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I used to work with thought that Brazil was the capital of Spain.
blackmist · 1 points · Posted at 11:51:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A chap I sat next to in school.
He once copied every single answer from a test paper. I didn't really care until I was asked why I'd handed in two papers.
He'd copied my name as question 1.
Gingervitus455 · 1 points · Posted at 11:51:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I know made a cake one day. Nothing complicated, just one of those add oil and eggs Betty Crocker type deals. When everyone was eating it, it was noticed that it was..... Crunchy. Her response? "Well, the box said I needed egg whites. Didn't I crush them up enough?" That's right, she used the shells.
The sad thing is that stuff like this is extremely common with her.
Bull_Saw · 1 points · Posted at 11:52:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl i knew once said "It smells like salmon in here, if i knew what salmon smelled like."
diddy1 · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sigh..I work with this girl now that cannot figure out how far you travel in an hour if you're going 90 miles per hour.
zxcvbnmmssdh · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My grade in general
TheRobberBar0n · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my history class once asked if Mike Krzyzewski was the guy from Monsters Inc.
rolo66 · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Studying The Merchant of Venice at aged 16, this girl interrupts the teacher saying, "I think you mean Sherlock'. :(
HaroldCollins · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy I knew in high school had his Facebook picture changed to two gay guys making out. He got really pissed off at this loner computer nerd, who he thought had somehow managed to hack into his Facebook page and change his profile pic. He proceeded to change his status to, something to the effect of, 'I'm gunna find you 'computer nerd' and kick your ass'. It turned out he got fraped by one of his douche bag friends.
LadyWidebottom · 1 points · Posted at 11:57:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brother's ex used to be a close friend of mine, and one day I needed her to get into my online banking (it's a long story, but she was trustworthy). She gets on, does what I needed her to do and then it's done. Easy enough. Until a few months later I find she's running around telling everybody I have $22,000 savings in my account. The only $22,000 in my account is the $22,000DR that I'm in debt. It clearly says "DR" for debts and "CR" for credits. I wasn't friends with her anymore by that point (no wonder, really), and I never bothered correcting anybody on it.
jaemann · 1 points · Posted at 11:58:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I recently had to give someone directions from 42nd and 7th to 21st and 7th. Not even "Downtown is that way." STEP. BY. STEP!
And no. She wasn't a tourist. She's from here.
For those of you who aren't from here, Central Manhattan is almost completely numbered streets, in order, in a grid. Almost all of the train stations have names associated with the numbered streets they are on.
tehzeroFIN · 1 points · Posted at 12:00:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend didn't know how to spell "street", he thought it was "streat", i don't know who he's doing now but he had some drug problems.
hpclone25 · 1 points · Posted at 12:00:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl from my high school named China. Easily the dumbest stoner I've ever met. Just a really dumb girl in general. My geometry class got cancelled because the failures of Algebra b were so massive they needed a second class to fit them all. I couldn't change my schedule without sacrificing band, so they put me in an "applied geometry" class cause it was the only other geometry class in the time slot. Applied Geometry is geometry for peple who don't understand math at all. So I was in there with some pretty stupid people, but she tops the charts.
Teacher: "China, give me a number less than ten."
China: "Ten"
T: "No, less than ten."
C: "But ten is less than that."
She spent 15 minutes trying to open the door to the classroom on 4/20. 15 minutes, the teacher just sat there laughing. As did we all, we pretty much bagged her the whole class for that.
Dropped out of college to pursue a "modelling" career with a dude who factually lives in his mothers basement at the age of 28.
It never ends, this girl is as dumb as stone.
dong_dangletaint · 1 points · Posted at 12:00:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i know a girl that studied for a few months for the asvab (US military basic aptitude test). the first time she took it she got a 27. a twentyfuckingseven. she studied for a few more months and took the test again. this time she got a 42 (almost the lowest acceptable score from what i understand). when she got to boot camp she decided that she wanted to quit. i never knew you could quit the navy.
RamshackleLand · 1 points · Posted at 12:00:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I substitute taught a 7th grade science class for three weeks. It was in a less than desirable neighborhood.
In our unit on space, one of the girls asked me, "if you go up into space, can you reach out and touch the earth?"
I told her, "No, honey, if you want to touch the earth, you go outside and put your hand on the ground."
She debated the validity of my answer for about 20 minutes.
iFuzion · 1 points · Posted at 12:01:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Freshman girl in my school: she didn't know Delaware was actually a state and also didn't know what a baseball looked like.
rj20876 · 1 points · Posted at 12:02:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was sleeping with a girl for a few weeks and made a joke about her being a Nazi poster girl due to hair and eyes. She didnt know what a Nazi was. She was an adult, in the Air Force with me and didnt know what a Nazi was.
KarsanMan · 1 points · Posted at 12:02:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There's this kid at my school who posted a picture on Instagram saying "Went to a midnight drag race at 2 in the morning."
Flawns · 1 points · Posted at 12:02:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This guy at my school thought South America was Africa, I brought it up a few months later and he denied it saying he was " just joking"...
SteadyTrap64 · 1 points · Posted at 12:03:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my Chem class thought that taking a pee in a hot tub/pool was acceptable and proceeded to compare it to peeing in the ocean.
roosterfeed · 1 points · Posted at 12:03:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend claims that his dyslexia is to blame for his poor spelling and pronunciation.
He's 25 and pronounced the word "legendary" as "leg-and-dairy." I laughed because I thought he was joking and he just looked at me with a confused look and didn't understand why I was upset with him for making the excuse that dyslexia is why he pronounced the word wrong even though he technically read the word correctly....
Now I understand that dyslexia is a real thing, but he does this all the time. Even when I've corrected him on the word he said incorrectly he will keep making the mistake basically immediately after I help him.
"That word is stack."
"OK that stap of food is...."
"No....The word is STACK."
"That's what I said. stap."
"DAMN IT THAT GOD DAMN WORD IS STACK "
"Bro chill I have dyslexia. I can't help it."
Rage. Every. Time.
GurleyStevenD · 1 points · Posted at 12:04:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some friends and I were at a party in high school and we felt like showing off because there were a good amount of people around. We both run up to this wall and each do a back flip after taking a step up the wall. This dumb girl was shocked that it was actually possible to do. She sincerely thought that it was only possible in movies.
pinkrosesandthegrave · 1 points · Posted at 12:04:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT; Questions I SHOULDN'T ask.
joannasauer · 1 points · Posted at 12:05:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I bet police lights flash red and blue for America..." "..........yeah, sure (name). That's why. rolls eyes" "I knew it! I'm so smart."
WE'RE ADULTS. WTF.
Ryandaou · 1 points · Posted at 12:05:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Notice how most of them are girls..
labubabilu · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A 17 year old girl in high school legitimately thought that islands are floating in the ocean and not moving because they are chained to the ocean floor.
thegirlfromthatbook · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Super late to the game but my ex roommate thought that when you made chicken broth the bones would disintegrate into the liquid. She had no idea that you had to actually remove the boiled bones from the pot.
SatisfyingCrayon2 · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, I didn't meet the person but I was sitting behind her on the bus. The bus stopped to pick up a few people and was directly across from a bridge over a main road. The bridge had a staircase and also an elevator on each side. She turned to her friend and said "Hey, I know they have elevators on the bridge so disabled people can can up, but like what's the point if they have to go down the stairs on the other side?"
She thought the elevators only travelled up.
kineticweaponry · 1 points · Posted at 12:07:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister (13 at the time) asked how to spell her own last name...
NovarisTheBlueHusky · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A young former female co-worker of mine.
I worked at a BBQ joint which was near a sign advertising "horse boarding and care."
This girl says, "I've always wanted to go horse boarding, it sounds like fun!"
She thought it was a sort of ride where a horse pulled you on a "land sled."
Jakeable · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I met: "Which coast is the East coast?"
get_me_another_beer · 1 points · Posted at 12:10:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kid I went to high school with. We were reading Hamlet in senior year English and someone read the line, "something is rotten in the state of Denmark." This kid immediately goes, "whoa, whoa. Denmark is NOT a state. It's not even in the UNITED States, guys."
TacticalVegas · 1 points · Posted at 12:11:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In high school there was a girl who swore Canada was a state and the US ruled over Great Britain because we beat them in the civil war. To be honest not the dumbest thing she ever said just the only thing I can still laugh at.
eliasv · 1 points · Posted at 12:12:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't actually meet her, but a friend was talking to a girl outside a club once in the smoking area in winter, and suddenly she squats down to the ground. He asks her what she's doing, and she tells him that it's warmer down there... Because it's closer to the equator.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:13:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cousin's ex fiancé. Here is a brief list:
Was in a hurry to get to work and melted a hair roller to her hair while blow drying it. She had to cut a large chunk of hair off her head to get it out.
While being taken to the cottage in northern Ontario, she commented on how the rivets in the road were speed bumps created by construction workers to slow your car down, and how ingenious that was (it was evident it was caused by rain water, and erosion).
After swimming in a lake in this very rural part of the province, she commented that she was happy to shower off the slimy lake water, by showering in the cottage, where the main source of water is - lake water.
There is more. She dumped my cousin right before their wedding, at my grandparents funeral (they died about a day apart). Then criticized our family for being heathens. She didn't like me in particular :)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:14:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm still scrolling, and all the top comments are still about girls. I'm not sure if I should be concerned about reddit, or about society.
x_spectre · 1 points · Posted at 12:15:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was this really loud, annoying girl in my Chemistry class. The first week of class, the teacher was talking about everything we were going to learn about. After the teacher was done talking, annoying girl blurts out, "So are we gonna like, split atoms in this class?" She was 100% serious. The teacher lost it.
LastPhantom · 1 points · Posted at 12:34:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We shall power our atom splitting with stupidity!
redboss4 · 1 points · Posted at 12:16:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone I know thought Mahatma Gandhi and Gandhi were two different people. And they also thought Mahatma was his first name.
papker · 1 points · Posted at 12:16:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Many years ago I was helping my then girlfriend with some undergraduate astronomy homework. It became clear in the course of our discussions that she had a very, very warped view of the size of the son. I asked her, "How big do you think the sun is?" And she got very evasive. Once I pinned her down she answered, "I don't know! Like as big as a car?"
That was pretty staggering.
That said, I also once had convinced her you could unboil an egg, so I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised.
edit: typo
vanoreo · 1 points · Posted at 12:18:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I know a guy who has had 3 pregnancy scares in a month, contracted Chlamydia in the next month, and when asked what 8x8 was, he said it was 63 and didnt understand why he was wrong for several hours. I love the guy because he is nice and ewliable, but sex ed and math aren't that hard.
missingsf · 1 points · Posted at 12:18:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Total ditz I went to college with. She had big hair and was insanely tan year round. We told her that the moon absorbs your tan the same way the sun bronzes you only in reverse. She believed it for the entire duration of our junior year. She would cover herself completely and run to her destination any time the moon was out. She would also take cover to catch her breath if her destination was a ways away. Absolutely ridiculous sight to see.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:19:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Our English teacher wanted to know what books we were all reading and this girl told everyone she was reading "The Sub-tull Canifee".
She was actually a few chapters into "The Subtle Knife" by Philip Pullman.
francescakate · 1 points · Posted at 12:20:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Wool is murder. You have to skin the sheep to get it." She also thought polar bears came from Poland and that the periodic table is actually a table (wooden, four legs). I guess it doesn't sound so bad but to say we're zoology students, it is.
CyanPeppa · 1 points · Posted at 13:56:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well...
nertaperpalous · 1 points · Posted at 12:20:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mother's ex-boyfriend's daughter.
Thought that wearing matching, hideous, bright orange eye shadow with her sister would make them get more friends. They truly thought this.
Once we were waiting in a parking lot of a strip with tons of restaurants and shopping and there are seagulls flying around. "Oh I bet I know why the seagulls are here, because Red Lobster is over there!"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:21:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This will get buried, but God it deserves to be told. A girl I went to school with found out her dad was marrying a woman from the Philippines:
"So, if my dad marries a Filipino, does that mean I'll be half Filipinian?"
algorerhythm35 · 1 points · Posted at 12:21:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roommate
He was late with the rent (as usual) and he told me he was out of checks and asked to borrow one of mine. He legitimately thought borrowing one of my checks would magically take the money out of his account.
CyanPeppa · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wonder if he really thought that. It's possible he came up with that to somehow hide the fact that he tried to steal your money with your permission.
Got any other stories about his (lack of) genius that'll remove any doubt of his idiocy?
algorerhythm35 · 1 points · Posted at 17:26:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well he is a sophomore in college and he asked me how to write a check when he first moved in...
He also called me 2 months after he moved in and asked if we owned a toaster. There had been 2 toasters on the counter since the day he moved in. He's also one of those people that asks you what's going on every 20 seconds in a show you're trying to watch.
The good thing about him being an idiot is that we can prank him with out him knowing it was us(me and my other roommates). He takes long showers and plugs speakers into the outlet and cranks the volume. So we just go to the breaker box and flip off the outlets in the bathroom(which are on a separate circuit from the lights). We've been doing this for about 5 months now and he hasn't figured it out.
CyanPeppa · 1 points · Posted at 18:29:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sounds like an idiot. :D
TankTopsAndBeatDrops · 1 points · Posted at 12:22:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: The reasons why some people should have to pass a test before being allowed to reproduce.
FappingDemon · 1 points · Posted at 12:22:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My uncle. But then again he has down syndrome.
wddolson · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy I know drove the opposite way while heading back to his hometown. Was supposed to be driving west and actually drove 2 hours east and ended up at the beach. In the same trip he also ran out of gas because he wanted to stop at the same gas station he always stops at on his way home. This was last year and he had a GPS and Smartphone. Also, he once told us that he wouldn't ask the bank to send him a new debit card because he didn't trust the mail, when we asked him how the bank received a debit card to give him at their building he said “I thought they just had a machine to create them in the back." Another time, he attempted to do a backflip off the side of an in ground pool and busted his face on the side of the pool, this guy is a huge guy and stated that “the chances of me hitting my face on that pool were astronomical." There are more examples but I'm starting to feel bad.
hannahgrov · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend, who was a junior in HS at the time, confessed that she had no idea potato chips were made from potatoes. She was in complete awe when I told her.
Other friend, freshman year of college, she struggled with the ATM machine because she didn't know what a "personal identification number" was. She kept trying her student ID number until she asked someone and they told her it was her PIN number. It wasn't until I pointed it out that she figured out "personal identification number" stood for PIN...
samfringo · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl who slept with all my friends, "I don't eat eggs because of the poor chickens inside"
jbhunt85 · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a girl in my classes in high school (We were French immersion students, so we all took the same classes) During biology, we were discussing evolution, and somehow got to the topic of gills, and how fish breathe under water, she piped up "That's stupid, I don't have gills and I can breathe underwater" ... silence... I said "honey, you can't breathe underwater, if you went swimming right now, put your head under the water and took a breath you would drown" She then sat up, and very smugly stated "Well I can breathe in the shower!" ... I just shook my head and replied "yes honey, you can also breathe when it's raining out, but just please don't try breathing underwater the next time you take a bath, your parents would be devastated" My teacher quickly changed the topic, and the rest of my class just stared at her quietly and sadly, while pondering how she managed to make it this far in life. There were many other instances with her, in one case she missed the day we concluded studying the chapter on WWII, when she came the next day she asked "who won?" When my teacher explained "Hitler obviously, we are speaking German right now" trying to get a few chuckles, she burst out crying and couldn't believe no one had told her she was German this whole time "what if I'm a nazi and didn't even know it!" ...my soul, it hurt that day.
qwertyseeker · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Guy from school. Let me give you some quotes:
'You have to be smart to have parents'
'It must have been a man, it had a hat on'
'Dolphins aren't mammals, they don't have a pouch'
'He's portuguese, so that makes him... portuguese'
and wait for it
'wow dickhead what does then I'll read you mind physic how come thats not there then. Did u use your physic powers and delete the definition to confuse me?'
Rawrsicles · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Everyone in /r/funny.
Twotonne21 · 1 points · Posted at 12:25:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A person I used to work with said: "Wales? That's in Scotland, isn't it?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:26:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/wh5DrBa
It was right in front of me this whole time. seriously, though- he could have died.
hottubfriday · 1 points · Posted at 12:27:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kid thinks that locking people in jail for 6 months for every drug infraction will fix the drug problem. I say education will, as people will know what will happen and not to take those drugs, as it will not be perfect but the best way to do it. He said his way was not using fear because people need to be held accountable to the rules.
hottubfriday · 1 points · Posted at 12:29:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kid didn't know how to cook an egg. He put a pan on the stove, and without any oil or butter, without waiting for it to get hot cracked an egg on it. He was 18 and did not understand that a pan needs to be hot to cook an egg and that it should be greasy to not stick.
Sheepiebro · 1 points · Posted at 12:30:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a friend explain in class that a mestizo is a "mixed-gender person."
BSchneider00 · 1 points · Posted at 12:30:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Quotes from a girl in my environmental science class:
"If the earth is tilted at 23.4 degrees, is that celcius or fahrenheit?" "What is Oceania?? Is that like a water park?"
derkaese · 1 points · Posted at 12:30:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was at a party at a friend's place and his neighbour was also there along with this one girl. At some point my friend's neighbour talks a bit about his collection of old coins.. and one of these were from the beginning of the 19th century..
Upon hearing this the girl enters a wild-eyed state of amazement and almost shouts "oh WOW!.. I didn't know they HAD COINS back then!!"
GlenThen · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had to re-read your question thinking it was "who is the dumbest GIRL you've ever met" and not once is girl mentioned but these top posts...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I was in grade 10 this girl asked me if bacon was a meat. This same girl also asked a Canadian exchange student if he spoke Canadian. She was also certain that "Orienteering" was a made up word and that people in my grade made the word up just to trick her. She's had other stupid moments but I can't remember all of them.
To this day she is the dumbest person I have ever met
gkiltz · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's like asking an experienced diver what's the wettest fish!!
mhzx6 · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My boss. She has a hard time putting two and two together. For the amount of money she makes, it's absurd. I think she was dropped on her head as a kid.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
God bless her I love her so much, she's definitely not dumb otherwise but she asked me one of the most ridiculous things once. We were staring at the stars from the deck of a cruise ship, and my girlfriend asked: Are there any stars closer than the moon? I just didn't know how to respond...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:35:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stranger: "Is your name Bob?"
Me: "No"
Stranger: "Are you sure?"
Ajdmacphail · 1 points · Posted at 12:35:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I met at work, " honesty I don't care who I marry as long as the ring is nice and big."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:35:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
MattyNiceGuy · 2 points · Posted at 16:05:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have high school students who don't know how to read a clock face. Worst part? They get mad when I try to teach them.
Big_Ape · 1 points · Posted at 12:36:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I know thinks that dogs bark at and chase cars because they smell something on the tires...
Normalenergy · 1 points · Posted at 12:36:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"The civil war was between America and Canada, right?" High school girls, man.
andrew_c_r · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were talking about Hawaii in AP US history, and some girl thought Hawaii was the 51st. A junior in high school, who had lived in the US her whole life, in a college level course, thought this.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I knew in high school. She thought carpenters replaced carpets. She thought robots were like unicorns santa clause and the tooth fairy as far as existance goes and when we showed her a video of one, she was adamant there was a little man in the suit. She didnt know what mammals were, didnt know where North America was on a map (we live in the US). The list goes on and on but Im drawing a blank on her other knowledge gap
The sad thing was that I absolutely blew her away in SATs and tests but because I was so lazy and she always cheated, she was higher in my class rank
derp4life · 1 points · Posted at 12:38:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was tutoring a girl in my physics class junior year of high school. Had to teach her why 1 + 1/2 =3/2. Drew her pictures and everything, she took notes.
This girl some how was our saludictorian, which makes me feel like the dumb seeing I was ranked below her.
RNA4lyfe · 1 points · Posted at 12:41:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one girl back when I was a senior in high school. She adamantly insisted that the past tense of the word bleed is bleeded. She even got a friend of hers to back her up on it. To this day she still insists that it's bleeded. And to this day I still think someone should throw a dictionary at her head.
Kurky123 · 1 points · Posted at 12:42:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to college with a girl who took about 10 minutes to understand that the American Revolution and the War of Independence were the same thing. Again this was in COLLEGE not elementary school
TorontoBrian · 1 points · Posted at 12:43:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A coworker - honey used to come from bees 'a long time ago'
Bronystrongwing · 1 points · Posted at 03:38:28 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
In a galaxy far far away...
frattythefish · 1 points · Posted at 12:44:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl on a field trip to Washington DC "how to they get all the flags to go in the same direction?"
dialcforcasey · 1 points · Posted at 12:45:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met a girl who was about 7 years younger who argued with me over whether or not "Hurt" was a Johnny Cash song or a Nine Inch Nails song for about 20 minutes. After I finally got her to admit that MAYBE he didn't do the song first she said to me, "Wait, was Johnny Cash a real person?" Probably not the dumbest person I've ever met, but definitely stands out as one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.
Investicrocodile · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
According to this post, the dumbest girls tend to be dumber than the dumbest boys.
johnnybones23 · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
After watching a video on ancient greece in class : how did they film that war all the way back then?"... dead serious. The class and teacher were astounded.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just some quotes I've heard around my school. They are some pretty intelligent things I pick up while walking around school.
"Where are Native Americans from?"
"We should call my mom and pretend that we got kidnapped. Tell her we are in a white van and don't know what to do."
"What's the difference between pants and shorts.. Like, they're still pants."
"That's 3 dollars in American money."
"So Jewish people celebrate April Fools day in March?"
"Hemroids are like mini meatballs from your ass."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Went to uni with this girl - cute and adorable. She was studying science with me, but goddamn some of the dumb shit she said over the years...
"I don't know why people do chemistry... Why believe in something that you can't see?"
I thought she was joking - clearly wasn't. And she was a devout Catholic.
"I hate reading".
Now don't get me wrong, nothing wrong about not having a passion for books, but the way she said was that she came across as proud of the fact. Crazy.
The thing though was, if I called her out on it - she'd get mad and upset, and I'd look like a dick. So I just left it. The last time I talked to her, was on FB, she deleted and blocked me after that. :(
aligeekay · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my food tech class in high school asked: "What's the difference between chicken and beef?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:50:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I try to pretend that I'm the dumbest person. That way, I can learn something from everyone.
Captain_Caribou · 1 points · Posted at 12:50:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl is my science class thought the Milky Way was a planet
I_YELL_AT_SOUP · 1 points · Posted at 12:51:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A guy I know believes that dual roles in old movies were actually played by two different actors who happened to look exactly like each other because we didn't have the technology back then to make them appear on screen at the same time.
nitrofan111 · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chem trails.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:54:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"What is the only state that borders Maine?"
"uh...Canada?"
TheLaugh · 1 points · Posted at 12:54:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A freshman in college, valedictorian of her high school said,
"Abraham Lincoln is the second president"
"England is in Asia, right?"
"Isn't Japanish a language, TheLaugh?"
Ricepattydaddy · 1 points · Posted at 12:54:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My best friends sister once asked me "How do deer know to cross at the deer crossing signs?" I was totally floored and couldn't even answer her. It was a serious question, too.
pnwgirl2 · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
18 year old high school senior couldn't point out Canada on a map of North America. We live in Washington State.
slavejamhour · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
High school chemistry, lab partner is dumb as a box of rocks. In a HCL lab, she pours some on her hand, and immediately sticks hand in mouth. Lab accident reports suck.
RaitzeR · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a guy who told me that "Modern Warfare 2 (video game published in 2009) has better graphics than Black Ops 2 (video game published in 2012) because the title says its MODERN". He was being dead serious. This was just one of the not-so-smart things he said.
Doremo · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP
MicroCosmicMorganism · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Definately the girl who thought soap operas were real life. I thought she was kidding at first, unfortunately, she wasn't!
Epicghostrider · 1 points · Posted at 13:01:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I didn't meet them, but...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a girl in my freshman year foundation of science class
"Are power plants flowers?" "Is there oxygen is airplanes?" "Is the moon a planet?"
She's gotten much better. Actually, quite intelligent. But I'll never forget those moments.
ProphetOfDisdain · 1 points · Posted at 13:04:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in high school asked my friend if his computer had Sci fi. She was the hottest girl in school and we were just happy she was talking to us
joshx56 · 1 points · Posted at 13:11:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl that goes to my school asked if George Washington fought in the Cold War. I suggested to my friend that she tie her Fallopian tubes.
PirateNixon · 1 points · Posted at 13:11:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When explaining the antenna television I grew up with to my wife (then girlfriend) I said: "It works just like the radio, the signal come in through waves in the air."
To which she replied: "Wait, so you only get sound?"
Cpt_more_Gain · 1 points · Posted at 13:11:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
No sexist , but why are the stupid people you all have met , are only females ?
reganthor · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
/u/timbrox75
skiliks · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Myself. I don't know too many people.
naturalalchemy · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Went to uni with a guy that had grown up on a farm and was doing a biology degree that females have three openings between their legs not two. The degree of stupid needed to have actively avoided that information was incredible!
sn0wym00n · 1 points · Posted at 13:14:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The kid in my photography class this year that was presenting his powerpoint, and his opening line was "He was born at the age of ten in the country of Paris". I am indeed in high school. It actually went downhill from there.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:15:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Told a girl in hs biology that if you were conceived through anal sex you were born with an outy belly button. She didn't believe me so she then asked the teacher. While the teacher was trying to wrap her head around the question the girl blurted out that it wasn't true because she would of been pregnant by now......
xkaradactyl · 1 points · Posted at 13:15:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One girl from my high school thought stop signs in alaska were white....because snow....
Edit: I forgot, the same girl, when jokingly told that there were drug sniffing hamsters checking our lockers, said, "OH MY GOD WHERE?!"
nbgkbn · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have met Rep Bachman of MN and I presented a concept to the one-time female gov of Alaska.
abeetzwmoots · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Frank
Saphro · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roommate sat down and argued with me and my other roommate about why NASA is a useless waste of the American budget. His reasoning ranged from: "Why would humans ever want to live on another planet?", "The works is sustaining our population just fine!", "The governments will never let the world population to get past 5 billion!", "20 billion dollars is like half of our year budget! Why the fuck are we giving NASA half the budget!", to "No one will ever agree to leave the planet!".
We showed him numbers and articles that proved him wrong and he still didn't believe us. Even about the population. He didn't seem to understand that population gross exponentially. Hell, he didn't know what exponentially was! We're in college and he graduates in two months.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my printmaking class (this is in college, mind you) who did a screen print of the Eiffel Tower (that happened to be a rip-off of someone else's stylization of the Eiffel Tower) and it turned out she didn't even know where the Eiffel Tower is. "Wait, isn't it in New York?" Another girl says "No, I can't even believe you just asked that." So the dumb girl goes "What's the one in New York then?" We didn't know if she was thinking of the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building or maybe even the Eiffel Tower that's in Vegas.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"dumb things people in art school say" could be a thread of its own...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:48:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ooooooh yeah, I got a million examples of those.
NotAFatGuy · 1 points · Posted at 13:18:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably my year twelve Geography teacher.
I mean, she had an infinite plethora of stupid, misinformed shit to say, but i think the highlight was the time that she was absolutely adamant in telling the class that weed cures schizophrenia.
like, my whole class was immediately like, "what... no..." Which then turned into "... are you... are you actually fucking serious?"
This sparked a debate between the teacher and class which lasted for an hour before one of my classmates silently stood up, walked to the front of the class and googled it on her computer which was connected to a smart board. After google flawed her opinion, she was simply like, "oh that's right! it causes schizophrenia! oops!"
Bitch was so fucking dumb but so overqualified that the school simply couldn't fire her because they couldn't replace her.
abcwjl · 1 points · Posted at 13:21:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister: "I thought nostalgia was a posh medical word for a blocked nose"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:24:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
When I toured UT Knoxville's campus in 2001, I asked an employee for directions back to the interstate, and she said something like "Go here and turn left, blah, blah, wait...I meant turn right. Sorry, I ain't too good with my left and right." At that moment, I knew I would not be attending that university.
IM_HERE_FOR_THE_CATS · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A resident I had when I was an RA. She would knock on my door to see if I would answer. She also thought that Greek and Latin were the same language
Connaghan · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once met somebody who though the world was more than 2014 years old lol.
masterjesse · 1 points · Posted at 13:27:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid that I work with at a fast food hot dog shoppe asked us once, "What do you guys think is a better job, a physical therapist or an assistant to a physical therapist?"
Later that night when the dishwasher put her break in she told us she wanted just a burger bun with cheese. Chris wasn't getting it so I said make a cheeseburger without the burger. He said okay and the first thing he did was put a burger on the grill.
Dumbest person I personally know.
hopeless_dick_dancer · 1 points · Posted at 13:27:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex-girlfriend, and current fuck buddy. You literally cannot hold a conversation with her.
lexandroar · 1 points · Posted at 13:27:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In Ecology we were learning about food webs, and in particular we were learning about the food that deer eat. This guy asks the teacher "Miss, what do you mean by grass?". Needless to say, a brick has more potential than him.
Carliiful · 1 points · Posted at 13:31:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm super late but there was a girl who when we were 13-14 passed me a note in class and said 'do you believe in maggit?'
I was like huh? But after class she asked me again 'do you believe in magic?'
'Oooh thats what you meant, its spelt m-a-g-i-c, so you know'
She looked at me with the most pitiful look and told me I was wrong. She was notorious for being really stubborn so I just let it go and moved on.
'Well, what do you mean do I believe in it? You mean like magicians?'.
She didn't, she meant wizards and she spent a long time trying to convince me spells were real. I think that part was just wishful teenage thinking.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
more like wimsful teemage thinging. <8^{D>~
Carliiful · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm not quite sure what you said but is that a wizard? I like it
Lee_power · 1 points · Posted at 13:31:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Government class.
Teacher: what countries were our allies during WWII?
Girl: I'm not sure of the others, but I know Japan and China were.
cyanidepancakes · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, she was half right.
Lingnis · 1 points · Posted at 13:32:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl that was in my class back in elementary school.
It was the beginning of the school year, and we had just finished a geography test. It was just a simple test, we just had to name the capitals of the provinces/territories of Canada.
We found out that she put Tokyo as the capital of Alberta.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ah so ehhhhh.
Lee_power · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My US history class is just full of enlightened minds.
"Aren't the Philippines next to Cuba?"
"I thought Mongolia wasn't real"
" Wait, Canada isn't a state?"
"What? The Vietnam War actually happened?"
"How could there have been any countries before the US"
olifin · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl from my AP US history class could not for the life of her understand how a ship could burn. "But.. But it's on water!" facepalm
amycd · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my 7th grade Latin class: "I don't understand why we're required to study Latin. The only time we'd need to speak it is in Latin America."
vlsy · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If you haven't watched this, you must.
I'm still amazed at how this person can function in everyday life and manage to make millions a year.
eat_me_now · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My old roommate... dear god I wish I would have wrote down the dumb shit she used to say but just one example:
While sending a bill "The back of this envelope says 'Don't forget to enclose your check' so like, that means I have to sign the back of the check I'm sending right?"
"No..."
"Oh well what does it mean then?"
"IT MEANS DON'T FORGET TO PUT THE FUCKING CHECK INSIDE THE ENVELOPE BEFORE YOU SEAL IT!"
"Oh haha, well that's dumb!"
blank stare
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not sure if he had to be convinced that planes wouldn't be damaged by he clouds.
TruNameless · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Former Co-Worker: "How do we even know hot the Sun is if we've never been there?"
Thereswaldo101 · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my world history class asked "Wait so Jews are like the black people of europe? Do they do thuggin like us in the america?"
Also asked such hits like "I don't understand, how cannot a black irish be black. MR.__________ I DONT UNDERSTAND"
"So -2+2 is -4 right?"
"Why are all muslims so mean, can't they just chill and be like tupac?"
"DUH, WE HAVE NEVER LOST IN ANYTHING, EVEN OUR GPA IS HIGHER THAN THE PEOPLE IN THOSE SHIT COUNTRIES" (she was referring to america never losing anything, ever)
RyanPlt · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I remember asking a girl what weighs more, 1 kg of iron or 1 kg of feathers. She replied with 1 kg of iron and I told here why it was wrong, but she didn't believe me, so I went through the whole joke again, step by step (three times), but she still doesn't believe me to this day.
empathicplagueq · 1 points · Posted at 13:48:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One time, in Grade 12 AP Chemistry, we were going over molar mass. We were reviewing every element, and their molar mass. When the teacher stated the molar mass of water was 18, a student asked; "what's the molar mass of Ice"?.
Not really dumb, just a brain fart I guess.
toiletowner · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl who works at my grandmothers pharmacy ... "Giraffes and rhinos aren't real"
Me, "why do you think this"
her "have you ever seen a giraffe or rhino in real life?"
Me, "yes, at the Nashville zoo, haven't you been there before?"
her "well... yea but the animals at the zoo are fake like dinosaurs, duh, if a giraffe was real it's neck would break and everyone knows rhinos are cow versions of unicorns"
mind you in her world im the dumb one because I don't believe in jesus christ
she's really sweet though ... and that counts in that town(1 stoplight total ... it blinks caution)
Chaserboy · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In science class the subject of fossils comes up. My teacher explains that we have found fossilized dinosaur eggs.
This not so bright girl in my class perks up, "Do any of the eggs ever hatch?!"
blijdorp · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Co-worker in her 20s who couldn't string together a coherent sentence and needed to have everything even remotely technical repeated countless times. Couldn't pull out of the parking lot without hitting and seriously damaging other coworkers car. She had been hired for phone sales even though she knew nothing about the product (very detailed knowledge needed, that even the newish owner didn't know or understand) but had worked customer service before. The rest of us wondered how many drugs she had taken for how long to get to that state of being.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
During science in 8th grade I sat next to this really stupid girl who was kind of an asshole. One day she asked me what ethnicity I was and I told her I was Asian American. She asked me if I was born in Asia and I replied yes, I was born in japan. At that point she decides to blurt out "OH SO YOUR JAPANESE NOT ASIAN"
Athos4228 · 1 points · Posted at 13:57:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Back in my junior year of high school, an ex-girlfriend stated with supreme confidence that the civil war was like a game to the South, since all of its troops were used to hunting and fishing.
Before you ask, no, she was not hot. We've since gone our separate ways; I've gone to college, she's gone nowhere.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:01:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably my redneck neighbors.
Coburg · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my year 11 science class asked the teacher if she held coal long enough would it turn into a diamond.
facts_sphere · 0 points · Posted at 14:03:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Most diamonds are not formed from highly compressed coal. More than 99% diamonds ever mined have formed in the conditions of extreme heat and pressure about 90 miles (140 km) below the earth's surface. Coal is formed from prehistoric plants close to earth surface, and is unlikely to migrate below 2 miles (3.2 km) through common geological processes. Most diamonds that have been dated are older than the first land plants, and are therefore older than coal. Diamonds can be formed from coal in two unlikely and commercially insignificant processes.In subduction zones, and in meteoroid impacts.[259]
rennaps · 1 points · Posted at 14:25:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
thanks for clarifying that, i can now understand the post above.
Toasterfire · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Whilst nowhere near the dumbest person I've ever met, I did know a girl who was incredibly smart when it came to subjects taught in school (off doing a masters in chemistry now, probably on to a PhD knowing her) and the like, but... not so hot when it came to real life.
The icing on the cake came when she said one day her sister was incredibly stupid- she didn't know where the Great Wall of China was. We all laughed, and we asked where she thought it was. "China".
"No, where did your sister think it was?" "That's what she said. China. God, she's so stupid."
Mildly stunned silence, before someone asked "Where do you think it is, then?"
Turns out she mixed up Hadrian's wall and the Great Wall, mixing up where each one was. God only knows how she thought a Roman Emperor ended up in China. Or, indeed, how she missed the word China in the name of the Great Wall of China. It took us half an hour to convince her.
jajg · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some dumbass in college (yes college) was giving a presentation on birth control and protection from STD's. His conclusion was "so as you can see, girls being on the pill is the only 100% proven method to not get an STD"...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
STD = standard tax deduction.
kjtest21 · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well I think I met palin once.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Context is key here, the senior law partner I work for. Guy is third in line to the throne, a named senior partner, for a law firm with 10 offices nation wide. He is a nice guy, but completely glib and slow. He never understands legal concepts that are important to our cases, and shies away from anything that seems difficult.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was in school. This particular week we had graduation tests, and every day was a new subject. The first day was English. There was a sign outside the door that said "MONDAY: ENGLISH ect..." Also, every student got an email stating the schedule for the week. On top of that, we all got a phone call from the school and they told us the schedule once again. So I'm at my desk and some girl walks in and pulls out a calculator. The teacher tells her she doesn't need a calculator, and the girl says "Oh, right, I'm sorry. I forgot you guys supply us with calculators for the math test." To which the teacher replies "No, you don't need it because today is English..." She didn't believe the teacher. How do you miss an email, a phone call, and a giant sign outside the door?
shisa808 · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
My stepmom. She isn't dumb, exactly. Sometimes she just has major lapses in basic knowledge. It baffles me the things she forgets sometimes.
For example:
"Yeah, shisa808, the color orange is made by mixing red and... red and..."
At this point, I'm horrified that she could forget something this simple and am waiting for her to work it out by herself, but she can't.
"...Yellow???"
"Yeah yellow!" continues conversation like it was nothing...
And this also happened:
"When a song is paused and you want it to play again you press the button with the... uh... uh..."
She's air-drawing the triangle "play" button shape.
"...rectangle!!"
facepalm "It's a triangle..."
I hope this isn't what getting older is like...
charwizz · 1 points · Posted at 14:15:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl on my college course says some really dumb things sometimes and I just stare at her in amazement when she says them because it's shocking how dumb some of it is.
Only one I can remember at the moment is how she is completely convinced that Macklemore is gay because of his single, Same Love. I told her he isn't, he has a girlfriend and yet she wouldn't believe me and firmly told me that he is in fact gay. I didn't bother to correct her again out of fear she'd smack me for telling her she is wrong.
buCk- · 1 points · Posted at 14:15:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend telling me and a girl that a guy a few years older than us had been in an accident and had been decapitated. Without hesitation she says, "Oh my god NOO that's like so sad. Do they know if he's going to be ok?" Such a horrible horrible time to burst out laughing.
isitmeyou-relooking4 · 1 points · Posted at 14:17:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dated a black girl who thought Theodore Roosevelt was black. she had said things like this in the past, and my friends were about to tear into her, so I immediately pointed to everyone in the room and said "shut the fuck up!... babe, why is it that you think he is black?" her response: "Theodore is a black name" (this is after Obama, the first black president was elected mind you) needless to say we did not last long.
lurker824 · 1 points · Posted at 14:18:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my 8th grade English class: The teacher was talking about tuna at one point and she screams at the top of her lungs "WAIT tuna is a FISH?!" Apparently she saw "chicken of the sea" as the slogan and took it to heart.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Definitely a girl who was my colleague who actually believed that there was some celebrity yogi who was 200 years old and looked like he was 65. I was like... whaaaat?
Smackberry · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Insects aren't animals".
"Pretty sure you're confusing animal with mammal."
"Mom, are insects animals?"
"No, sweetie, they don't have warm blood."
adanipse · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
this guy
pyrusmole · 1 points · Posted at 14:25:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Granted this was in kindergarten but relevant as the stupidest statement I have ever heard: "There are no numbers past 100. If there were, then teacher would have put them on the number chart."
BigBlack12 · 1 points · Posted at 14:26:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in my high school seriously asked in class when we were talking about native Americans "where is native America?". I didn't even know how to respond
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:30:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A women that I worked with in a restaurant years ago. Her husband had left her and she was forced to work for the first time in her life. I was trying to teach her how to operate the dishwasher, which is simply a matter of pulling down a lever, waiting about a minute, then pulling it back up. While you're waiting, empty out the clean tray of dishes and prep the next tray.
She just couldn't figure out how it should work and would freak out constantly. Of all of the jobs I've had in my life, so far it was probably the easiest and most relaxing. When I was done a shift, that dish pit was the cleanest part of the restaurant. When she was done, it was like a nuclear bomb went off.
DammutDave · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl asked me one time in high school if the headphone jack on an MP3 player was a small speaker. "I should be able to hear it without headphones, right?"
Told her to put it to her ear and let me know what she discovered.
Her-"I think I can hear it!" Me- "try turning it up" Her- "good idea!" volume up "It's still really quiet though"
facepalm
mrsmittens · 1 points · Posted at 14:34:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The girl I hanged out with everyday back in the elementary school. In geography class she was standing in front of the map looking for the sea that's surrounding Switzerland.
BigFatBaldLoser · 1 points · Posted at 14:42:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A redittor told me that they were fat because vegetables are too expensive and impossible to grow without special training. Actually it's so easy a caveman did it.
AnalogPen · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shit, last year, my girlfriend's garden would not STOP growing. Fucking tomato plants as tall as her shed.
BigFatBaldLoser · 1 points · Posted at 18:24:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friends had tomatoes growing out of the pile of dogshit, but some fat redditors are dumber than that.
ThisOpenFist · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In high school, the girl who unironically told me to stop using big words in my papers... in our Honors English class.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:01:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Where did she think you were supposed to use them, at the Laundromat.
jordanrevenge · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I swear this will forever be ingrained in my memory.
In 5th grade we had assigned state projects, one of the girls in my class got the state of Washington and when she presented things she ended it with "and I know Washington D.C. is located there but I couldn't find any maps that showed where." Even at the age of 10/11 I was completely shocked.
AtochaCastaway · 1 points · Posted at 14:45:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A ditz girl who used to come to our college parties. One night at a party, the intellectual discussion turned to drunk driving. She blurts over us "It's better to drink WHILE driving, than to drink AND THEN drive!". She was dead serious. We recited that quote for months!
Margrave · 1 points · Posted at 05:27:48 on April 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
Technically yes, given the same amount of alcohol, if you drink it while driving some of it won't hit you until after you're probably done driving. From the perspective of safety, not legality.
agero · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
back in secondary school we were watching a black and white movie and this girls asks "was everything black and white in the past".
Plsdontreadthis · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kid I knew thought that the lower your IQ was, the smarter you are. I asked what his IQ is and he told me it was forty. I said "Oh, I understand you thinking that if your IQ is 40."
He took it as a compliment.
JPMoney81 · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I gave up near the end of high school and took a basic english class to get my last credit. After getting a 98% on my final grade the teacher wrote "You did not try very hard and should not have been in this class"
Anyways the rest of the class was SUPPOSED to be there based on the intelligent questions they asked during class.
My favorite was "Mrs White what's a See-oh?"
"Pardon? a See-oh?"
"yeah it says right here he was the See-Oh of the company"
~sigh~ "It's a C.E.O. something tells me it's not a term you will really have to worry about when you graduate"
I loved that class.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I went to high school with came to class with a glowing red triangle on her chest just above her cleavage. She told us it was a burn from her iron. My algebra teacher asked how she burnt her chest of all places; she lifted her hands explaining how she didn't have time to pull out the ironing board, so she just ironed her shirt while it was on.
My teacher looked at her with that "oh honey.." Look then turned back to the board and started the lesson. We laughed at her for a while...
Coziestpigeon2 · 1 points · Posted at 14:57:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP's mom.
WorkAccountIDC · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Myself
Teiiri · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
So I had this girl in my class that thought that you'd get a tan from sitting next to a campfire. Her explanation? "The sun is fire, and a campfire is fire too, so you should get a tan from that!"
Me and my friend in class tried to argue with her, but she just wouldn't listen. Just, fuck. Yes she was blond.
Munchnones · 1 points · Posted at 15:15:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Roommate last semester. She once told her boyfriend she needed his credit card after asking to use his car because,"if a cop stops me, I can show him your credit card as proof that you let me use your car." That didn't work. While watching an interesting episode of Bones,"Death in the saddle," she walked into the living room and saw the part where a bunch of men are being led by dominatrix women as they neighed trotted around. She's a psychology major so she said, "that's what I wanna do when I graduate." Another time, she mistook the oven directions to a crappy <$1 frozen pizza for the microwaving directions and microwaved the poor thing for 10 minutes into a black,rock-hard inedible saucer. She then proceeded to eat it while I held my laughter back. To top it all off, she called the RA on me because we had a mutual friend (minor) over drinking and then texted another mutual friend telling her she did it specifically to get me in trouble. That also did not work.
jellyshoes11 · 1 points · Posted at 15:19:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My boyfriend told me he used to date a girl who thought buffalo were mythical creatures like unicorns.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:22:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
what a doodoo bird.
Sarcasticsuperhero17 · 1 points · Posted at 15:24:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Shortly after my wife and I got married, we went on vacation with her family. I convinced my then-college student sister-in-law that the state of Iowa had no capital city.
My brother-in-law still has not let this go 9 years later.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:24:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sisson
shadyoaks · 1 points · Posted at 15:25:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A coworker of mine. This girl has been here several years and still asks for help doing parts of her job that are very basic. She often has to ask people that are much newer than she is. She has no idea how to minimize a window on the computer, despite several of us showing her how to, multiple times. She repeats EVERYTHING and only talks about herself, so talking to her is the most mind numbing experience. I talked to her yesterday and she says she watched Fight Club for the second time the other day, and she just realized that Brad Pitt's character wasn't a real person. She gets confused so easily. I dumb down everything I say to the best of my ability and she still gets confused. She'll truncate sentences wierdly, when she's talking to customers. We're supposed to get shoes for our customers, and she'll often just ask, "what size shoe?" Instead of, for example, what I say: "hey, what size shoe do you wear?" She CANNOT make changes. To anything. Ever. This woman has worn the same makeup and hairstyle as long as I've known her, about 2 years. Everything she does is exactly the same as she's done it before.
Worst part is, she's a lazy, mean person. It's super obvious too, since she's not very bright, but she thinks she's getting away with it all the time. She drives me fucking NUTS!! I'd be able to deal with it if she was just dumb, but she's mean on top of it, and very judgmental. Everything is black and white to her and she has no original thoughts.
Ugghhhhh, venting is nice
Ioseb · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"I'm not so good with writing with letters."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The girl in my college history class (300-level) who was serious when she asked our professor, "Who was president when Richard Nixon resigned?"
OverusedKleenex · 1 points · Posted at 15:30:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
worked with a girl at a golf course, she was one of the pretty faces that sells drinks out on the course, one customer asked for a hotdog so she goes to the clubhouse to grab a hotdog and bring it to him, without a bun. her explanation was "he didnt ask for a bun just a hot dog" in hindsight i should have just let her go and deliver the wiener to the customer...she would have learned quick
TheMightyLisp · 1 points · Posted at 15:31:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
tom
sArmington · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In high school, in my US History class, a girl asked what the stars on the United States flag represented and another asked if Nixon was our president.
ProMayhem11 · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl who thought the American revolution was fought between the Americans and the colonists. She was an American and we had just spent the last month in our history class learning about it.
Xleader23 · 1 points · Posted at 15:33:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex-fiance. I could go on and on about it, but I think it's a tie between the time I convinced her that the minionese in Despicable Me was a legitimate language that had been lost for centuries or the time she tried to give away the ending of Remember Me by saying over and over that Robert Pattinson was on the "50th floor of a building."
Mecha1911 · 1 points · Posted at 15:33:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in 6th grade didn't know if the city we lived in was a city or state, not knowing that city is in a state. Dumb teacher got mad at me for not teaching her myself.
twerkin · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Currently the 9 highest rated comments are about women, democratic sexism on display
jdd881 · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some guy from High School Canadian History. Immediately after a lecture about Adolf Hitler and WWII, he raises his hand and asks who Hitler was.
How the teacher kept his composure is beyond me.
MyDads7Speed · 1 points · Posted at 15:35:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my chemistry class, she thought the moon was closer to New York than Florida. Her argument simply; "we can see the moon, we can't see Florida".
oh_alright_then · 1 points · Posted at 15:35:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I would say 75 percent of everyone I ever worked with.
em1793 · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My roommate. Who didn't know what area 51 was until I told her.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I tutor football players for one of the powerhouse universities in the south. I was helping one of the offensive linemen in remedial math, he couldn't solve X+0=2, solve for X....this is a fucking college student with a free ride
obbelusk · 1 points · Posted at 15:38:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had just had a class on North Korea, whether they had nukes, what they were doing to their prisoners, we even got to see a diagram of how their borders look like (barbed wire, mines, guards with rifles, etc.). And this one girl in class raises her hand and asks
"Why don't they just move?" Dead serious.
acubrooke64 · 1 points · Posted at 15:38:49 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We had a friend in high school that we convinced ice had calories. She was obsessed with her weight and didnt eat ice for a year or two.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A kid in my elementary school was convinced that clones and twins shared their consciousness. In other words, they would feel each others pain and both would die if only one of them was stabbed in the heart.
We argued about it for hours . He just couldn't wrap his head around the possibility of two people who look exactly the same having separate experiences.
roflofogus9420 · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my freshman world history class asked "What's Obama's last name?"
yeezy_23 · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
in class today we were learning about the holocaust and genocide etc. so about five minutes ago a girl decides to ask " Are Jews still alive?" to which the teacher replies "yes there are about such and such million in the world today" the girl then says "oh is there any at this school?" teacher then answers the question with "i'm sure there's one with the 2000 kids at our school" the girl finally says "Oh i bet the has a big ol' party when Hilter (yes, Hilter) died." .
were in the 9th grade (15 -16 years old) -_-
SteroidSandwich · 1 points · Posted at 15:40:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My engineering teacher in grade 11.
I owned a shirt that had this design on it: http://cf.mp-cdn.net/3c/c9/cad3292fbcf8e4b613b44c78328a.jpg
I only wore it once a year just to get a rise out of people.
I wore it on grade 11. Apparently she approached a friend of mine in the class and said "what does SteroidSandwich's shirt mean?"
forgottenatma · 1 points · Posted at 15:40:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I explained to a girl that 1000 was a third of 3000. She didn't get it. I asked if you she knew that 1 was a third of 3 and yes she did. But could not get that 1000 was a third of 3000. I worked in an assembly line, that god that is over.
syrupant · 1 points · Posted at 15:41:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had a girl in an International Relations university course declare that the Afghanistan War had claimed more lives than all of WWII. She wouldn't drop it until a bunch of us, including the tutor, kept listing casualty figures and cities that were destroyed.
rennaps · 1 points · Posted at 15:41:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Someone was trying to sell my wife something over the phone, i heard her say "At least robin hood had the decency to wear a mask while he was robbing you..."
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:44:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
a friend last night asked me if piranhas were snakes or spiders
rogerryan22 · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chad...he's the worst
lumberjane327 · 1 points · Posted at 15:47:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Which takes longer to fly to Florida or to drive?" We live in Canada.
Also thought windmills made the wind. :s
jvbb20531322 · 1 points · Posted at 15:48:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brother-in-law got a 14 on the ACT. Hard working guy but really dumb.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:50:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Stuff that makes me want to punch babies.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had to teach a guy that had been working as a framer for 10 years how to properly read a tape measure. He knew what an inch was and what a half inch was. Beyond that he had no idea and just rounded. It was painful trying to explain it.
"1/4 is half of a half"
"but...no 4 is double 2 how can it be half?"
"because it's a fraction of a whole. If you have 1 inch being the whole number and you break it down into 4 piecs, two of those 4 pieces, or 1/4, will make up half or 1/2. Same goes for 1/8"
"but how can there be 8 inches in an inch it doesn't make any sense"
"...not 8 inches in an inch, 8 pieces in an inch"
"but you just said there were 4 pieces in an inch"
jld2k6 · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At my buddies birthday bonfire a friend of a friend showed up and was saying the most ridiculous things to try and impress the ladies. At one point he said "I'm all about stem cells; make your shit grow big." My buddy and I both heard this and I don't think we have laughed that hard since.
Onelove225 · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I feel like a lot of these are about girls so here is the dumbest guy I ever met. We work together and I was talking to another coworker about the show "cosmos" coming back on tv and we were both really excited. He comes up and he said "I really don't like that science stuff, they just make it all up" I asked him what he meant and his reasoning was that science is all fake because none of it existed 200 years ago so how can anything in science be real, it's all people making stuff up to try and sound smart and fool us all into believing them. I tried to explain to him about how they try and prove everything in science wrong over and over again and that "theories" in science don't mean just ideas people have. But he still to this day says science is all made up.
Yesterday he told me that he believes the government puts plastic in our snow and it's the reason for this bad winter we just had and he learned this from some video on Facebook. Yet I'm still the gullible dumb one for believing in science.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:54:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Stupid people making themselves feel better by talking about someone even more stupid.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:47:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
hey we didn't invent the internet, Al Gore did, or was it Al Bundy?
brennabru · 1 points · Posted at 15:54:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A girl in my Geography class thought Leicester (UK, where we live) was an island. To save you googling it, it's not an island, it's in the Midlands. Oh and there was a girl in my advanced level modern history class who said totally seriously 'Why do people get so offended at that bent cross thing?' and pointed to the SWASTIKA in our textbook. She also came out with things like 'my sister told me that Hitler didn't do the Holocaust' 'Hitler wasn't such a bad guy cause he didn't even know about the Jews'. She left pretty quickly.
Didditt · 1 points · Posted at 15:54:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I and an acquaintance of mine were working on applying multiple simple electronic circuits on a breadboard in Uni,since they were just examples they gave us illustrative figures on how things look like connected on the board and in normal circuit diagram....
So the circuit diagram was labeled fig x.2 and on the opposite page the bread board connection diagram ,which needless to say looked completely different, was labeled fig x.3...yup you saw it coming,I spent almost a good 15 minutes trying to convince him they still can be the same circuit,"but they have different numbers" he said.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Friends girlfriend. Age 19.
"What are balls(testicles) used for?"
shimmerdoom · 1 points · Posted at 15:59:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In highschool i convinced a girl that pineapples came from the sea, i provided a picture of a pineapple fish as proof, the only reason she realized i was lying was the giggles of the rest of the class.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to everyone's favorite Canadian coffee joint, Jim Borton's.
The cashier was wearing rubber gloves and taking orders. She takes my money, digs around in the cash drawer, gives me my change.
She then starts picking my donuts out of their bins. I stop her and ask if she could use the wax paper to grab my donuts. She says, 'Oh, it's ok, i'm wearing gloves :)'.
TL:DR- Woman is invincibly clean as long as she has her gloves. Can count to potato.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Do atoms breathe? They're living things, so don't they have to breathe?"
yeah. This girl went to U of M and got a nursing degree.
InvaderSimian · 1 points · Posted at 16:05:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in my AP World History class sophomore year of high school constantly said some of the most absurd crap imaginable. For example, she once asked "Why didn't they give the Chinese dynasties names that are easier to pronounce?"
Then there was this guy in my chemistry class the same year who refused to accept that the sun is a star, that stars have mass, and that stars are really far away. Basically, he had all the same opinions about astronomy that most people had around 2000 years ago.
Catanian · 1 points · Posted at 16:07:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably my boyfriend's sister. She is a recovering drug addict who spent a handful of years in jail. She is now out and clean, but damn, this girl is not the brightest crayon in the box. Every time she posts anything on Facebook I just cringe. She can't spell (and not just substituting "u" for "you"), her understanding of simple comncepts just astounds me. But as he said the other day when I made a small comment of his sister's spelling giving me a headache: You can't expect someone who has never prioritized learning (she dropped out of HS because of the drugs) to suddenly care about it in her 20s".
sweeetneet · 1 points · Posted at 16:08:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had class with the most annoying girl. She would get attention from the professor and then formulated her thoughts after the floor was yielded to her. She literally silenced the class when she referred to South Africans as African Americans. Several people in the class tried to gently correct her and she kept continuing with her thought until the teacher interrupted her and blatantly told her she was wrong.
goodcase · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a girl who had recently moved to Ontario from Arizona, she was a nice girl just really really dumb. Our group of friends were having a heated argument about Canada vs America and she says "what ever, you guys steal all of your culture from us" so we asked her for an example and she said "I dont know, John Lennon and The Beatles"
eZico · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my World History class thought that Hitler was just a fictional character told in stories. When she asked out loud, "Hitler is real?!" the whole class went silent and the teacher was just giving her the "bitch, you serious?!" look.
sofakiller · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my best friends unfortunately was raised by hyper protective parents so no internet, no TV, and as such very weird thoughts that we had to correct. "To survive in a shipwreck, you have to go to the bottom of the ocean, push up on the floor, and go back up to the surface: it makes you breathe less and keep your energy instead of swimming at the surface." "Blowjobs, yeah my mom does that all the time, she has to blow all the leaves from the sidewalk!" "Wasn't Hitler just trying to save his people from the invasion of aliens?"
dabbadabbagooya · 1 points · Posted at 16:12:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
At a bonfire with some friends. Girls in the grade below us are invited. One asks, "Can gasoline burn by itself? I always thought that if you put gas on wood or paper it only burnt because of the wood or paper." Trying to hold back laughter I answer, "Yes gas can burn by itself." "So you're telling me, if you threw a match into a puddle of gas it would light on fire?" I couldn't hold back the laughter any longer. Then I got called a jerk because it wasn't a "stupid question"
she_loves_ham · 1 points · Posted at 16:13:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in high school didn't understand what the 3rd world is..."I thought we all lived in one world." Also, she asked if people lived on sun spots. At least she was hot.
soupz · 1 points · Posted at 16:15:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ohhh... this girl at a party probably. She was so extremely stupid that she didn't notice everyone was appalled by her stupidity and also stupid enough to think she was actually smart. I still felt a tiny bit bad when I really insulted her by accident. She was again saying some complete shit when someone questioned her logic and corrected her and she replied with "Oh, of course I know that. I'm obviously not dumb!". I just blurted out "Yeah...!" and couldn't hold back my laugh. Everyone else started laughing again. I had never received such an evil death stare before.
zippy_throwaway · 1 points · Posted at 16:16:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I have a good friend who is becoming a vegan for more ethical reasons and due to lactose intolerance. Though I admire her commitment to her own ethical guidelines (I also have a brother who is vegan upon his own ethical guidelines), I cannot help but think that she is making her life far more difficult for herself than necessary as now she needs to take supplements for various vitamins, which is far less enjoyable than actual consumption. To be honest, she frustrates me a bit because she is one of the types that would disparage the idea of being exposed to "chemicals." I say this only in quotes because chemicals are found in everything and though I get that she is talking about synthetic compounds, they are not necessarily all harmful. Hence, I get a bit frustrated when she talks about food and nutrition, or gets ridiculously into the self-promotion of her own lifestyle.
Is she the dumbest? No, by far she is incredibly bright and has a lot of vigor in studying, but her opinions and some of her cluelessness as to the effect of her words frustrates the heck out of me.
Hambulance · 1 points · Posted at 16:18:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I live in Colorado.
The intern: What parade tomorrow?
Me: The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.
TI: Oh, is that downtown?
Me: No, it's in New York. Every year since forever.
I taught her how to use bleach in laundry to clean whites.
She did not know which mountain range runs through our state. Neither did her mother.
Man, I wish I could remember more. I even started a twitter feed for the things she said.
BeeDelly · 1 points · Posted at 16:18:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Theres a girl I know through a good friend of mine. She loves attention and will do almost anything for people to comment on her posts. One day she posted a 'status' saying, "I kind of want to try heroin :)" (She's innocent and comes from a good family). Needless to say I deleted her on Facebook that instant in spite of her raw stupidity.
Dawiii · 1 points · Posted at 16:19:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Upon discovering I'm Polish "Is Poland somewhere in England?"
jakechris · 1 points · Posted at 16:22:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl in high school who told me the only way to get to Canada was by boat...
BlorfMonger · 1 points · Posted at 16:50:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, without a point of reference for where you live, she could be right.
Ezbior · 1 points · Posted at 17:08:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, unless he lives in an arc/antarctic circle, you could always take a plane as well.
ducklax21 · 1 points · Posted at 16:25:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My 9th grade biology teacher asked my class, "What were the first organisms on earth." Recently, we had learned the answer to this. This girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. Her answer to his question was, "Dinosaurs." She's far from the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
rainbrodash666 · 1 points · Posted at 16:25:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
in middle school there was, in one of my classes, lets call her kaykay, and she is by far the dumbest person that I have ever encountered. while we were learning the name, position, and capitals of the states in America, on the day of the final test it was her job to come up to the white board and point out where Florida, Washington, and Tennessee fall on the map.
so kaykay points out washington, not to hard because that is the state we live in, next comes florida, the dumb bitch points to Oregon. the teacher says that she is wrong, but she argues with the teacher for 15 minutes saying that Florida is below Washington. the teacher ended this conversation by face-palming and ignoring her. her big problem was that she was always right. and if someone disagreed with what she said no mater right or wrong she was a colossal bitch.
ThunderCraft · 1 points · Posted at 16:25:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in separate class asked their teacher "where does the moon go when it goes down"?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:26:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brothers girlfriend. She thought Eskimos were mythological creatures but unicorns were real. She also thought you sat on stools at shows because seating areas are called stalls.
ppp24 · 1 points · Posted at 16:27:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A Malaysian asked a foreigner this, "if you're a Muslim, how come you can't speak Malay?"
ChoiceD · 1 points · Posted at 16:33:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This has been years ago before cell phones were common. My next door neighbor woman didn't have a phone and came over asking to borrow mine so she could call and check on her ailing uncle. After a lengthy conversation I asked if her uncle was ok. She said yes and informed me that he was in the hospital recuperating after having to have an ovary removed. She was completely serious.
nick96baker · 1 points · Posted at 16:35:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my history class "look, I know what hitler did was wrong, but wasn't he technically right? The bible says Christianity is the best race."
LukeTX4 · 1 points · Posted at 16:39:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my best friends "illegal means you can do it, and legal is the bad one?"
howdoimakeaspace · 1 points · Posted at 16:41:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in my chemistry said, "Why would you want to put warm water on a fire, wouldn't that make it worse?" After she learned we had warm water in the safety shower.
A girl in my history class asked, "Didn't Hitler kill Jesus?" She was dead serious. There is some serious stupid where I live.
PigPen220 · 1 points · Posted at 16:42:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was sitting in the back seat of a car, listening to the two Southerners in the front seat having a conversation.
Ben: If a pond doesn't have a stream leading into it, how do all of the fish get there?
Carrie: I think it's when tadpoles grow up. Once they get to a certain age, they have to decide if they want to become frogs or fish. Then the fish stay and the frogs hop away to spread more tadpoles.
Rhodestrip · 1 points · Posted at 16:42:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Health class "So like, if you have sex after you're pregnant, that's how you have twins right?" And then from the same girl, "If you're pregnant, and you get ran over, the baby can be pushed out and then possibly be fine, right?"
ronglangren · 1 points · Posted at 16:43:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My wife's best friend. She thinks each state has their own sun and moon.
ted3681 · 1 points · Posted at 16:47:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: Girls.
Also heres my stupid testing question: "What's the role of the third (bottom) prong on an outlet?" It's common shit to know and you should feel bad for not knowing it.
Klondike3 · 1 points · Posted at 16:47:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
Let me see. There was a girl I knew in high school who was a member of the preppy cheerleader clique. You know the type; blond hair with expensive highlights, perky boobs, had a sports car in the parking lot (With the dealer plates still on it. If you don't know what that means, just ask me.), always dating a different jock every week, etc. Anyways, she insisted that Africa was a country, not a continent, and that Nelson Mandela was its king. And she thought that Antarctica and the Arctic were the same thing, and that polar bears ate penguins. She also confessed to thinking that if one of her boyfriends came in her, then she could immediately go out and have sex with another guy so she wouldn't get pregnant. She honestly thought that sperm from two different men would cancel each other out. She also thought that credit cards were literally free money and didn't understand the concept of debt. Well, she managed to graduate high school with all C's because she flirted with nerds and got them to do all her homework, and yet she got a full ride through college because of some obscure athletics scholarship (aka, Daddy paid for it all).
And then there was my friend back in high school that thought "facepalm" meant running up and smacking someone on the forehead a la "Coulda had a V8." He wasn't dumb --in fact he was a physics student-- he was just ignorant of the truth.
EDIT: Oh! How could I forget about Monster Guy! There was a guy in my old community college who seriously believed in monsters and stuff. Now I'm a bit of a hypocrite; I like to think that there are some mysteries left in the world, and I indulge heavily in the fantasy genre. But this guy was absolutely convinced that monsters were totally real, and the government was trying to cover them up, or that the government was controlled by those very monsters! He liked to show me youtube videos of supposed monsters and stuff, and after a polite while, it became my mission to gently debunk his crazy and stupid theories. "No, I don't think that's a chupacabra, I think it's a coyote with mange." "That's not a blob monster, I think it's a decayed alligator. See the skull?" "I'm pretty sure that's not a demon skeleton on display. It looks more like folk art. See how the ribs and the wings are made of aluminum?" "Nope, doesn't look like an alien to me. It looks like someone photoshopped the creature from Extro onto a different background." And so on. Eventually he caught on that I didn't really believe him or his wild theories, and then he accused me of being a government agent out to get him. And the absolute best part? He had a clean bill of psychological health! He wasn't insane at all, he was just an idiot that believed in insane things.
tehrobot · 1 points · Posted at 19:48:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
..but Africa IS a continent
Klondike3 · 2 points · Posted at 05:47:18 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Edited for derp :P
caboose1984 · 1 points · Posted at 16:48:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Gfs friend thought Norway was in Canada and Normark was the Scandinavian country. All while trying to remember where rammstein was from
jerrygarcialovedme · 1 points · Posted at 16:48:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Friend in jr./sr. high grew up crazy, like in motels, never had a stove. One day my mom asked her if she wanted to make a cake while I was at work. She told her to add 2 eggs. Friend asked what does she use to poke hole in egg? She also asked if you put butter on the bread before you put in it the toaster.
Mr-bliss · 1 points · Posted at 16:48:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A friend of mine was looking for a picture online. She found the image but it was not large enough. She then proceeded to zoom in until the picture was large enough and then copied it, pasted it on her work and then yelled "stupid computer" when it did not turn out how she expected.
Man_Serpent · 1 points · Posted at 16:49:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My buddy Kazden isn't very sharp, but he did something yesterday that ascended to a new level. We had to write a research paper for school, and his was a frankenstein of plagiarism from different scientific articles. Not only was it obviously written in a style far above his level, but I SHIT YOU NOT, at the end of every paragraph he included a link to his "source" because we were required to cite sources.
He plagiarized every paragraph, and at the end of each plagiarized paragraph he included a handy link to where he copied it from.
spaceeoddityy · 1 points · Posted at 16:51:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex thought that once a girl gave birth to a baby, her vagina stayed the size of the baby head.
Also I once had an entire room of people convinced I made up the animal red panda because no one had heard of it.
AverageDickSquad · 1 points · Posted at 16:52:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I hope this gets seen, but there's a ton of comments already so whatever.
In my US history class last semester our professor was talking about Lincoln and his Emancipation Proclamation and one girl asked why they didn't film it.
youthxlagoon · 1 points · Posted at 16:53:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Probably too late for this, but a girl from my high school thought that you could get leather from a cow without killing it. She knew that leather was the hide too, but for some reason thought it could survive without it.
macnbloo · 1 points · Posted at 16:53:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once met a girl who couldn't understand that the sun was a star, she kept saying, "no, you can't fool me. The sun is a sun"
throwawaystuoopd · 1 points · Posted at 16:54:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl who was 16 who was actually quite intelligent said "what's an orgasm?". The whole class laughed at her for the rest of the year before she left for college.
Also a girl at my college thought Prince George's first name was Prince.
Slobotic · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I dated a girl for a while who has probably earned a mention here.
We were in a car and she was driving. There was a sign that said something like "WARNING: Deaf child in the area." I told her to honk her horn. She seemed confused. I said "Didn't you see the sign? Honk your horn so the deaf child can hear you coming." So she starts leaning on her horn as we drive through this quiet suburban neighborhood at about 10:00pm. She finally stops when she seems me laughing like an idiot. She keeps saying "what? what? What's so funny?" I say, "don't you get it? Honk your horn so the deaf child can hear you coming?"
A minute passes.
"Oh, I get it. You're an asshole. There is no deaf child is there?"
Ninjas_Always_Win · 1 points · Posted at 16:57:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy who went by the name of 'Ovens'. Don't ask me why. He snorted a spaghetti hoop, brought Microwaveable meals to a festival and decided, when sleeping in the back of a car, to push the front car seat so far back that it crushed him. Easily the biggest idiot I've encountered to date.
destria · 1 points · Posted at 16:59:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl I worked with was asked to do a deep clean of a food stand. It included a slushy machine hooked up to multiple boxes of slushy mixture underneath the cart. She thought she had to clean the machine out so she put a garbage bag underneath the nozzle and pulled so slushy came out and filled the bag. Now obviously the machine would just refill itself but this girl was so dumb she didn't realise and just kept filling bags of slushy. She filled like 10 giant bags worth and never once wondered why the machine tank (which is pretty small, like smaller than a single garbage bag) never emptied. A team leader noticed her dragging bags of slushy to the bins because of the huge trails it left as the bags aren't 100% waterproof and stopped her. We like to think she would have carried on until every box was emptied which is equivalent to about 500 litres of wasted slushy.
ml_burke925 · 1 points · Posted at 17:00:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
College: that whole thing of having to wait 10 minutes for a professor if he/she is late or 20 minutes for a doctor. I had a professor from Turkey that had an accent.
After 10 minutes, this annoying girl says "that's it, time to leave"
Me: "he's a doctor, you need to wait longer"
Girl: "how can he be a doctor, he can hardly speak English"
Dgeiger · 1 points · Posted at 17:01:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
In civil rights, we were going over a quick review of the end of slavery and one kid thought slavery existed until WWII when black people helped to fight and earned their freedom. It's hard to believe these people exist. Different friend tried to argue that Australia was continent and not a country.
k_princess · 1 points · Posted at 17:02:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A lady that I work with.
She is LDS. Nothing wrong with that particular religion. I've known many others of that faith, and some of them are quite bright. But this seems to be the basis for everything wrong with her.
1) She seems to embody the philosophy of the husband is always right, no matter what. He wants to sit on his ass and not work? Ok, she works two jobs and sells her plasma for extra spending money. Their son is introverted so he is not obligated to go get a job or earn anything towards living expenses because he still lives with them. Their daughter on the other hand, is paying her own way through college.
2) She really liked an outfit that someone at work had on. They got it out of a catalogue, so brought that in so she could see what other clothes were in it. There happened to be an ad for sex toys it in. She stated that she would not support a company that breaks down the moral fiber of our country.
3) Her husband wrote a letter to the editor about homosexuality. She has been ranting (in support of her husband) about how sex is for reproduction only. We all have been stating that some who are done having kids are still having sex, even though they don't want more kids. And then there's the couple that are in relationships, and livong together but aren't married. Her views on the world are limiting her acceptance of others.
4) Her daughter went on one date, and she started picking out wedding dresses for her, and checking availability for venues (temple for LDS ceremony, and other place for non-LDS ceremony).
Xamius · 2 points · Posted at 21:24:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yea, normal mormons find them dumb too.
legendofdirtfoot · 1 points · Posted at 17:09:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I don't know if she's the dumbest person, but I was genuinely shocked when I was chatting with my old hairdresser about my vacation last year and she didn't know what/where the following things were: Denmark, Copenhagen, Germany, narwhales, amber, Toronto.
Really the only thing that genuinely baffled me was the narwhale bit. I pulled up pictures of a narwhale on my phone in the middle of the salon. The rest I just attributed to not paying attention in geography class.
TimMarben · 1 points · Posted at 17:10:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: A lot of beautiful, special snowflakes severely miffed that the world just can't match up to their intellect.
Especially teenage girls.
RedHotChiliPenguins · 1 points · Posted at 17:11:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP
nintynineninjas · 1 points · Posted at 17:15:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Submitting buried post.
Friend of mine has had a few. She's quite intelligent, but sometimes speaks quicker than she thinks.
"I haven't even been 21 for a year yet!"
After being interupted several times in asking, because they saw where she was going, finally got to ask "does friday the 13th ever fall on halloween?". Every friday the 13th she gets a "happy halloween" now.
Munchnones · 1 points · Posted at 17:17:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in geography class pointed to the full world map poster and asked "what countries are on other side." Playing it off as a joke didn't work well. She flowered into the loose-Lucy we all knew she could be by junior year.
pervyninja · 1 points · Posted at 17:17:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
I had study hall with this girl who would constantly eat twixes. Like 4+ everyday during study hall. She was very skinny. One day I told her she was going to get fat. Her response (I'm going to attempt to type this in local Tennessee vernacular) "Tweexes don't make you fayyyet. Coooach Stowe, (teacher) do Tweexes make you fayyyet?" The look on his face was utter disbelief. He simply said no. She is big as hell today.
_Bones · 1 points · Posted at 17:21:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl I knew in HS once asked "Do rocks grow?" And no, she wasn't talking about crystals.
Se also had to write a note to my sister as part of an assignment, in which she spelled blonde "blound" and made so many grammatical and spelling errors that to this day my sister can recite the entire note from memory. her mother was the English teacher, too.
Me_Speak_Good · 1 points · Posted at 17:21:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My former roommate was fun, and the dumbest person I've ever met. I should have known when I was moving in and she asked one of my friends in all seriousness, "What are pliers?" She was afraid of the VCR. Her TV had spots in the corners due to the fact that there were two honking big speakers right next to it and she refused to even try moving the speakers away from it because speakers don't have magnets and was stupid for thinking so. She was obsessed with a minor celebrity, and could bring any and all conversations back to him. Car broke down? Minor Celebrity's car broke down once! Hungry? Minor Celebrity's likes to eat potato chips! It sounds minor, but it was constant. Her cat was named after Minor Celebrity and when she accidentally got pregnant so was her kid. There's more, but I can't think of them at the moment.
pbt3 · 1 points · Posted at 17:22:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A guy once told me that you can stop the bus. Just find a position near the back of the bus, put your hands on the walls and push with all your might. He's in civil engineering.
animoogles · 1 points · Posted at 17:23:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Isn't Niagara Falls a country?" Girl in my grade 9 geography class. Happened years ago but I'll never forget it.
SmarmyStrong · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I used to be a manager at a catering company. The owner hired a woman in her 50s who was not too bright. She set her hair on fire while lighting Sternos (cans of gel fuel used to keep food hot in chafing dishes). I hear a shriek and turned around to see a coworker beating this idiot in the head with a dish towel to put the fire out. Another time I asked her to scrub the lime scale deposits off the steam table. She tells me it won't come off. I told her to use some elbow grease. She then asked me where we kept the elbow grease.
kirkboy · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In my freshman history class in high school a girl raised her hand asking, "Wait so Hitler was against the Nazi's?". My God.
rod81 · 1 points · Posted at 17:30:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend "so sad Ray Charles did not get to see Jamie Foxx play him in RAY" with the straight face of a poker champ.
that_guy_next_to_you · 1 points · Posted at 17:32:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One time myself and 2 friends spent a good 30 minutes trying to convince another friend that humans are mammals.
Her: Humans aren't mammals
Us: Of course we are! Just like cats and whales
Her: Humans are not like whales! Since when do we live in the ocean!
Us: uhh...so what are we then
Her: Duh...humans of course
Us: but humans are a type of mammal
Her: No they aren't! They're their own seperate thing!
Like that. for 30 min. In the end we couldn't convince her. And we all graduated as engineers.
anarky21 · 1 points · Posted at 17:32:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, i play League...
BaronBifford · 1 points · Posted at 17:33:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Once I was walking through the street and this hobo walked up to me and asked if I was a wizard who could talk to animals. He then asked me for some change and told me to go away.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:35:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
well he had questions that needed answers.
Rashkolnikov · 1 points · Posted at 17:34:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A dude I met during security work at a festival. I believe he had good intentions and was a good kid. But my god, he was dumb as rocks and associated with the wrong crowd.
Anyways me and a friend of mine tried to explain a simple joke to him. The joke only works in dutch, so that won't work. But it took us 15 minutes and we didn't succeed.
Rashkolnikov · 1 points · Posted at 17:34:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A dude I met during security work at a festival. I believe he had good intentions and was a good kid. But my god, he was dumb as rocks and associated with the wrong crowd.
Anyways me and a friend of mine tried to explain a simple joke to him. The joke only works in dutch, so that won't work. But it took us 15 minutes and we didn't succeed.
aValiantRiceGrain · 1 points · Posted at 17:34:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
TIL people can't make shit up about girls they know.
pyromanser365 · 1 points · Posted at 17:39:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
God love her but this girl in my highschool history class. I convinced her in 5 minutes that there is a bridge going from California to Hawaii called the transAtlantic bridge. (Yes Atlantic) And that only native Americans are allowed to live in Oklahoma.
piaband · 1 points · Posted at 17:43:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The customer service person at priceline.com
Total moron
ailweni · 1 points · Posted at 17:43:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chick who didn't know if she had a gas or electric stove, and who had to google how to open up a storage unit (the actual door).
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:43:35 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend and her boyfriend have a long distance relationship, he's in a frat, they're allowed to make out with people but nothing else.
xX_420_nosc0pe_Xx · 1 points · Posted at 17:44:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
someone from school: she wanted 2 kids, and a spare one. for when one of them died...
spicolidudes · 1 points · Posted at 17:48:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One girl I know wrote a speech about how Houston, (from the phrase "Houston, we have a problem.") was a real person..
Sargurl · 1 points · Posted at 17:48:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
my friend thought figi boarded Puerto Rico and USA had 52 states
3verthesame · 1 points · Posted at 17:50:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My history teacher used to joke with us all the time. One day he told us his mother left him as soon as she found out she was pregnant with him.
A girl in the class believed the story. She gasped and said "that's so awful!" In cases like that there's nothing to do but laugh.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:50:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just the other day we did an activity in class where we had to put certain historical figures into one of four categories. The four categories were determined by a survey we took. Some of the historical figures included George Washington, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Harriet Tubman, etc. This one girl asks my professor, "Did all of these people take the survey?". She was completely serious and had no idea why half the class facepalmed and the other half were laughing.
Another girl asked my Global History teacher in high school if Venice was in Venezuela. You know, because they kind of sound similar....
ChelseaSJL09 · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Had Maths class today when a lower school student was sent in for being disruptive. When my teacher asked her why she wasn't working she said she didn't understand the work. The response from my teacher was something along the lines of "How can't you do it, you're only counting negative numbers?" She was at least 12-13
shaggy1265 · 1 points · Posted at 17:54:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A friend of mine who had just graduated high school thought Canada was a state in America.
I made fun of him for a good while after that.
CalvinandHobbes2 · 1 points · Posted at 17:54:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Easily my mother. I'm too embarrassed to give examples.
kleedawson · 1 points · Posted at 17:55:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
All too often it's me.
SidiusMaximus89 · 1 points · Posted at 17:55:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I meet him every time I look in the mirror.
jaymeyer · 1 points · Posted at 17:58:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl who I graduated high school with, just a few things she said during senior year: "Wait... Asia isn't a country?" "Wait, are black people black because they have lead in their skin? GUYS! It must be! Thats why they can't swim!"
Listening to her speak was painful...
the_resistance88 · 1 points · Posted at 17:59:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
r/stupidshitzachsays
Kleeo87 · 1 points · Posted at 18:02:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My ex. Let's say his name is Andy. We lived together (regrettably) whilst we were dating and I owned a super cheap fiber-optic lamp. Just a little black base with a bunch of fibers sticking out of it, ya know, it can change colors, blah blah. Well he says to me one day that he went to Office Depot looking for new light bulbs for this lamp. I said "But Andy it's working fine. It's on right now." He responded with "Well some of the little light bulbs are out. They're not changing colors." Andy thought there were teeny, tiny little light bulbs at the end of each and every one of the fibers on this lamp. I had to explain that there was a kink in some of the fibers so the light FROM THE ONE BULB IN THE BASE could not travel to the end making it appear darkened. I can only imagine what the Office Depot employee was thinking when this moron showed up looking for 1/2mm small bulbs...
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Kid named tyrik who sits next to me in chemistry. Not a prime example of stupitidy but one day in class I heard munching when I looked over tyrik was eating my lunch.
NinaaColadaa · 1 points · Posted at 18:07:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Former friend in high school: We live in Texas. She says, "I only thought stars (in the sky) were in the country." Her logic: Since stars are more visible in the country (less populated and fewer night lights), she assumed that there are only stars in the country side, not in the city.
Liquid_Aids · 1 points · Posted at 18:07:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A new kid from Arizona came out to my school in Massachusetts. At one of our football pasta parties, he asked Liam (kid from Arizona) if there was a moon in Arizona.
Hiro, a transfer from Japan got asked, "Does it snow in Japan". This was by a sophomore in highschool....
CallMeDragon420 · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm a Chicago Cubs fan and I am fucking CERTAIN were going to win the World Series this year. Am I the kind of person everyone is talking about?
hina-himex3 · 1 points · Posted at 18:15:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Sophomore year, a girl in my science class said, "Minnesota is a country." She was dead serious too...
gregory_s · 1 points · Posted at 18:18:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My sister said "they are letting the water in" when we were swimming with dolphins. I was dumbfounded to say the least.
Spodson · 1 points · Posted at 18:22:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I had a roommate in college. Body like a god, mind like a rock. I spent most of that year explaining the most basic shit to him to help him in classes. But the dumbest thing ever… he was going on a date, pretty common, he was beautiful. As he rides his bike across the street, against the light, he gets hit, thrown over the hood and puts his head through the windshield. The driver jumps out and helps him off the hood. Desperate, he asks if he can take him anywhere. My roommate looks at his totaled bike and says, I was going on a date, can you drop me off there.
He tells us the next morning with a sly grin on his face like he got away with something, and my other roommates and I start yelling at him to go to the ER. He refuses and then calls his father to tell him the story of how he got away with wrecking a guy’s car and then got laid. We could hear his father through the receiver two rooms away yelling at him to go to the ER.
Guitarshredder6898 · 1 points · Posted at 18:31:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
In my world history class we were going over the continents. I was so bored because I though everyone knew this. I was wrong. As I was drifting off to sleep and my attention was grabbed by this one comment. "No there are 8 continents. You forgot China." I looked up at the girl who had said this and told her, "China is part of Asia." She couldn't get that through her head, and she belligerently argued with everyone in the class and the teacher.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:38:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE have asked my adopted Korean brother, "Are you Chinese or Asian?"
DriftClub · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm pretty dumb, I put it down to really bad memory and bad genetics.
Problem is I just can't remember anything, it annoys my colleagues because they have to pick up the slack.
Oh you have to recapture something because I forgot? Try being in my shoes bitch knowing that your dumb and their is Fuck all you can do it about it.
Nothing worst then being dumb and knowing your dumb.
OrbitalWanderer · 1 points · Posted at 18:44:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Friend of mine dated a girl for a few months. She constantly refused to swallow during BJ's because she thought she'd get knocked up.
Nerdtronix · 1 points · Posted at 18:49:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Working at alfy's pizza in the NW in highschool . A pretty girl, a year younger than me, got hired to work the counter.
Customer: what's the soup of the day (salad bar)
Pretty girl: uuuh, mine-strone, and the chicken noodle is out-of-order.
She got pissed when the customer laughed In Her face. She came to me cause our older brothers were friends, and I was the only person she knew well.
I explained to her that A: it's pronounced min-a-stro-nay B: soup does not go "out of order" we reserve that for the broken steering wheel on "OFF ROAD" in the arcade room.
PasteeyFan420LoL · 1 points · Posted at 18:59:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I actually knew any of you I would say reddit...
billybobbingo · 1 points · Posted at 19:01:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ruchi.
gobacktozzz · 1 points · Posted at 19:05:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: This girl...
makapepa760 · 1 points · Posted at 19:06:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
guy I worked with once said, "If I could be any dinosaur, I'd be a rhinoceros." Other guy said, "Rhinos aren't dinosaurs", to which dummy replied, "Not a rhino, a rhinoceros." He was referring to a triceratops.
TheDevlsPlaything · 2 points · Posted at 04:39:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This one retarded kid at my school who was so mentally handicapped that they had to strap him to a dolly or he would just beat the shit out of himself and other people. Like smacking his head full force into a solid wooden door retarded.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:23:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I really dont think people such as him should be able to go to the same school as non disabled people.
kennypayne · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Really? I don't think people such as him should go to school.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:14:47 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, for one, they don't exactly contribute much to the school. They also make others (such as me) feel uncomfortable, even if we don't admit it.
Honestly they'd most likely be better of in a segregated school.
TheDevlsPlaything · 0 points · Posted at 19:58:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
He pretty much didn't. They kept him segregated with all the other retards. We didn't even know his name so we just referred to him a dolly boy.
laterdude · 0 points · Posted at 03:37:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once shook George W. Bush's hand. Does that count?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:43:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yes
your_a_moron · 0 points · Posted at 12:15:42 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
People on this site. Baseline mensa folk. Top comment for example, that guy is stupider than the person he was insulting.
Firstly, lacking knowledge on any given thing is not an evidence of a lack of intelligence. The retention of knowledge has no, and I mean zero, relevance to intelligence.
And that is why a baseline mensa person is stupider than a person considered to have average intelligence. Their perspectives are virtually negligible, but the difference is the person considered average does not perceive himself to be intelligent. Whereas the baseline mensa person erroneously considers himself to be smart. And comically, because there is very little difference in the way of actual intelligence, they usually believe so because of a greater amount of information retained. Which is comical because that is one of the biggest indicators of a lack of intelligence.
So yeah. The primary demographic of the reddit community are the stupidest people in existence.
Top_Wop · 1 points · Posted at 04:16:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
On "Jaywalking" this girl, who was a teacher by the way, did not know the name of the country due south of California.
lgainor · 1 points · Posted at 04:21:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Mike
nuno9 · 1 points · Posted at 12:36:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That guy is so dumb!
unlimitednights · 1 points · Posted at 09:22:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went on a date with a girl named Christine, we were talking about abuse in relationships and got to the topic of her ex-boyfriend, she told me "No he wasn't abusive, he just kind of yelled at me sometimes". Granted verbal abuse probably doesn't click in a lot of people's minds. She then continued with "Well like he hit me sometimes too, but he wasn't like... abusive".
breadandfaxes · 1 points · Posted at 09:30:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I live on the Eastern shore of Maryland.
So, take your pick.
kittlies · 1 points · Posted at 18:27:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
... I have a MENSA level IQ and don't know my multiplication tables, and regularly mispronounce or forget simple words.
One of my exes was in a PhD program and didn't know that the sun was bigger than the earth.
RabidRob · 1 points · Posted at 03:08:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Best friend of my female uni flatmate asked us if abraham lincoln was from lincoln and if his favourite band was linkin park... Yeah.
blackcain · 1 points · Posted at 04:49:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Just like the french eat french fries, french bread, and wear french beards. They also speak the international language of love.
daisy_dandelion · 1 points · Posted at 03:30:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Watching Mean Girls with a friend of mine when we were in high school. It gets to the bit where they're talking about how stupid Karen is. Damien says 'she asked me how to spell orange'. My friend turns to me with a dead serious look on her face and asks 'how DO you spell orange?'.
FengaPapit27 · 1 points · Posted at 03:47:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I went to high school with two girls which were cousins, one was school smart and the other was trashcan smart (aka she's dumb as a fucking piece of trash.) Anyhow our teacher told us to write our name in the margin and school-smart says "what's a margin?" and trashcan says "I think it's like butter!" and everyone had a braincell commit suicide for being in their presence. Keep in mind we were all 17/18 year olds...
MisterGoober · 1 points · Posted at 04:23:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A classmate in my middle school history class on 3/14, "You spelled pie wrong." She even knew what day it was and all of the math teachers were teaching about pi that month.
jbrendlinger6152 · 1 points · Posted at 04:35:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
im pretty dumb, maybe the dumbest person i know, im not sure though
lemystery · 1 points · Posted at 04:48:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I was in a upper level history class on Asian history and there were some education majors in the class due to some cultural requirement. We were watching The Last Emperor, and the girl raises her hand and goes, "So they all speak English in China?"
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:05:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Okay, I'm not calling my mom dumb but she thought that Hawaiian natives were Asian because their eyes looked similar. Then she tried to say that Japanese people could have immigrated to Hawaii a thousand years ago and that would have explained the similarities.
jimmy17 · 1 points · Posted at 11:36:08 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yeah, you're mum is right.
EvilGrandpa · 1 points · Posted at 05:13:33 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Floridas not a southern state, you idiot"
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:45:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's not. It's actually further south than "the south," culturally-speaking.
Source: Am from Florida.
jay_emdee · 1 points · Posted at 05:29:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The girl who asked me the difference between even and odd numbers. She also thought she couldn't get pregnant unless she had an orgasm. She was in her 20s.
gen_robert_e_lee · 1 points · Posted at 06:13:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My high school English teacher, seeing the picture of Kurt Vonnegut on the back of my copy of Breakfast of Champions: "Hey, that guy's picture is in our English book!"
Or my roommate during my freshman year of college, on the phone with her dad: "Dad, what's capitalism?"
lostandfound1 · 1 points · Posted at 06:19:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Interesting how most of these stories are of dumb women. 2 out of the top 10 are men at the moment.
Good ole' Reddit.
Lolbusaur · 1 points · Posted at 07:04:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This kid in some of my classes is an absolute dumbass. He said that "if the reformation schools (for Native Americans during the 1800's) made the indians wear certain clothes and act a certain way and have a set schedules, then they're basically concentration camps. And catholic schools are the same way aren't they? So aren't catholic schools basically concentration camps?" And, he thinks Native American culture doesn't exist because he's never seen a Native American.
Zan_dur_bar · 1 points · Posted at 07:05:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Cory and Trevor.
thebrownkid · 1 points · Posted at 07:39:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My jungler. He never came for ganks and always fed.
quitesimplylaura · 1 points · Posted at 18:46:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stay bronze.
DOAKES_MOTHAFUCKA · 1 points · Posted at 08:44:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my friends is an engineer and has a good job but he has no general knowledge. Dumbest thing I've heard him say during cards against humanity: "Auschwitz? what is that?" and "Genghis Kahn? I don't know what that is either."
ryan9911 · 1 points · Posted at 08:57:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl I go to school with thought John Quincy Adams killed Lincoln...she got the first name right, at least.
peterbouton · 1 points · Posted at 09:08:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were learning about mont saint-michel in France and the teacher said something strange happens when the water rises over there. Some girl asked if Mon saint-michel was a boat and would go of in sea.
Chillbacca · 1 points · Posted at 09:18:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This is one of the best threads I've ever had the pleasure of reading.
rennaps · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
yes me too, I've got tears running down my leg!
ScoobyD00BIEdoo · 1 points · Posted at 09:52:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Roommates 26yearold model cousin, when asked where eggs come from: "Eggplants"
420senberg · 1 points · Posted at 10:00:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My mom once told me "Even Hitler could have gone to heaven if he asked for forgiveness. No matter the deed everyone can enjoy eternal happiness" she helped me realize religion wasn't my cup of tea and heaven must be filled with very interesting characters
Downvotesohoy · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once convinced my ex girlfriend (Who lived like 100 meters from me) To go outside and wave up in the sky, so I could see her on Google earth. She did it. I was sitting at my house, watching her, laughing my fucking ass off. (In her defense she's not actually stupid, but gullible.)
SoundingWithSpiders · 1 points · Posted at 12:26:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
A girl I knew in high school managed to pull off all of these in one marking period of bio:
called me [first name] [my father's first name] [last name] because she assumed my father's name was my middle name... EDIT: I'm female, so she was basically screaming "Homigod Amanda Joseph!"
screamed "ewmygod are those PEOPLE LIVERS?" during a "calves liver enzyme lab".
And my personal favorite - a guy answered a somewhat tricky question correctly, surprising the teacher causing him to jokingly call the kid a genius. The girl, seated behind him, pipes up "duh, of course he's a genius, its written all over his pants!" The room went almost slient as ~20 people shifted in their seats to see his pants
ihatezeeggs · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: All stories about girls
BishSticks · 1 points · Posted at 15:57:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I work in the PC repair business. A coworker of mine: "I don't have the software to play youtube videos" "Whats Napster" "how do you restore the OS' "what's wiffle ball"
Then there are others "I self-diagnosed my son with asbergers". That same woman told me "My daughter comes home after visiting her dad and cries for days. It's completely normal for a girl her age"
I also dated a porn star that told me the only reason she does it, was to be able to provide to her daughter. That's fine and all, but if she wouldn't spend $200-$300 A FUCKING week on sex toys, then she'd have money for her daughter.
petershaughnessy · 1 points · Posted at 16:05:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I took a girl on a date, and one of the things we did was see "Romeo and Juliet." Intermission came at the end of act 3, after the wedding scene. When the lights came up for the act break, she said, "That was great. Wanna go get dinner?"
Asunder_ · 3 points · Posted at 16:15:23 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How does that make her the dumbest person, if she has never been to a play how would she know about the intermission?
Hax_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:29:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP.
bungunala · 1 points · Posted at 16:49:22 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your mom... zing
purellmysoul · 1 points · Posted at 17:59:48 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were reading out loud a Greek play in 9th grade, different people reading different parts. This kid gets to the word "Zeus", stumbles around for a couple seconds and then blurts out "Z-z-z-...Jesus". I promptly lost my shit and was told to sit outside until I could control myself again.
pinkfatticorn · 1 points · Posted at 19:10:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
27 year old person, and my mother is still the stupidest person I have ever met in my life. She is a diagnosed narcissist who thinks she is perfect too. Life is pain princess.
StrangerInHighPlace · 1 points · Posted at 19:24:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pick any Tea Partier I've met.
Broken_Limb · 1 points · Posted at 19:39:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chad.
Anonimized · 1 points · Posted at 20:42:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Most of the time, I think it's me.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:56:30 on May 31, 2014 · (Permalink)
This girl in my laboratory: "Voltage is the same when in series"
monkeyballs2 · -2 points · Posted at 04:11:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
mw 'oww i got something in my eye' him 'oo you should take an aspirin' me ' no like theres a scratch on my eye or an eyelash can you see anything' him ' like take a few aspirin' me 'i don't need medication i need to get something out of my eye' him ' well maybe try an advil... or some shrooms!' ...
whackadoodlydoo · 2 points · Posted at 07:12:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This was the hardest thing I've ever had to read and comprehend. And I read Trainspotting once.
Once
Africanistanian · 2 points · Posted at 07:52:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
While arguing with my first girlfriend Me: you have the IQ of a fu**ing carrot! Her: Is... is that good?
I stared at her for a second, threw my hands up an 'noped' out of there. Never saw her again.
A_Link_to_the_Post · 0 points · Posted at 10:17:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my Christian youth group spent a good 20 minutes trying to make hell sound like a good place. Her argument was that if your friends went to hell then you would be around your friends and can talk and stuff. That was really the only point she had, and the youth pastor kept trying to explain that hell isn't some cave filled with little red guys with pitch forks, it's a realm of eternal suffering and communication between 2 souls is most likely impossible, but she wasn't getting it. I guess some people don't really get the concept of hell and think it really is a fiery underground place with little demons poking you in the butt, and not that the true nature of hell is incomprehensible.
Also a girl in elementary school thought that Monday was the first day of the week. Not too bad but she continued to get the entire class convinced that Monday was the first day of the week because that's the first day of the school week.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:34:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
A_Link_to_the_Post · 0 points · Posted at 10:52:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
An interpretation of the hell in Christianity isn't accurate if it is pleasurable. I know we can all interpret it our own ways because it is incomprehensible, however seeing it as a place that's "not so bad" and claiming to be a Christian (which she was doing) is irrational.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 17:47:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Woosh!
A_Link_to_the_Post · -1 points · Posted at 11:15:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Why am I getting downvoted? I want to understand what I did wrong so I won't do it next time. I hate this
piobaroja · 2 points · Posted at 18:44:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My friend who was into metal used to say he wanted to go to Hell because then he could party with metal bands and drink JD all day. He thought heaven would be all straight laced and boring.
Then my christian friend would try to explain that for him heaven would be like a metal concert and hell would actually be like sitting round knitting or whatever.
Such a dumb conversation, from two otherwise intelligent people. So it doesn't really fit the thread but the above comment just reminded me.
[deleted] · -3 points · Posted at 01:13:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl in one of my classes back in high school thought that Pablo Picasso designed the lighthouse of Alexandria
My ex boyfriend once told me (a brown-eyed girl) he'd know I was cheating if we had a kid come out with blue eyes. He already thought I was always cheating anyway so I didn't bother to further "incriminate" myself by explaining to him how dominant and recessive traits work. (Basically, brown eyes are dominant so if I did fuck a blue eyed guy behind his back, the kid would come out brown eyed anyway cuz blue eyes are recessive. SCIENCE, BITCH!)
LeafySeahorse · 5 points · Posted at 03:22:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your explanation would have been wrong
gimily · 3 points · Posted at 04:53:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Not if ur heterozygous for brown eyes, in which case u could pass on a trait for blue eyes and have a blue eyed kid if ur mate had blue eyes, thats why kids can have natural blonde hair even if one of their parents has brown hair etc.
superherocostume · 2 points · Posted at 02:23:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My eyes are blue. Mom's are brown, Dad's are blue. There are other factors, although I don't know what they are off the top of my head.
dyslexictom · 2 points · Posted at 06:52:59 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
if i remember correctly your mum could be heterozygous has both traits but only the dominant one shows so it is possible for you to have te blue eyes
Andrew9623 · 2 points · Posted at 19:44:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Unless your eyes genotype is Bb (Brown showing, blue present) if you had a child with a blue-eyed guy (bb) then it's possible that you'd get a blue-eyed child. (Bbxbb has two possible results: Bb (Brown showing, blue present) and bb (blue).
WillWorkForSugar · 1 points · Posted at 01:42:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
It's the perfect crime... eh heh heh...
ImJustMe2 · 1 points · Posted at 20:14:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My husband had blue eyes, I have brown...my son... yeah, blue eyes.
Myth...busted.
scienceofseduction · 1 points · Posted at 04:03:23 on June 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
Oh my god the urge to correct you is almost painful
sufferingcubsfan · 1 points · Posted at 04:25:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Be careful with that, ahem, "science". Four of my six kids have blue eyes like their mom. I have brown eyes. Pretty sure she's their real mom.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 00:59:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Raccoo · 0 points · Posted at 01:42:50 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
David, who believes that Hitler and Ghandi were friends. He frequently talks into the wrong end of his iPhone Also he can not take any social ques, like picking up on the energy of a room, he'd be the one to tell a horribly offensive racist joke during the eulogy of a funeral. He's like a lost puppy, but goddamn if isn't one of my best friends.
mewditto · 2 points · Posted at 02:50:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
GhandiGandhikbghost · 0 points · Posted at 04:40:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
only came to see if i'm on here.
MrMischiefMackson · 0 points · Posted at 05:16:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You op
BiddlyBongBong · 0 points · Posted at 10:21:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You. Huehuehuehue.
kparker13 · 0 points · Posted at 18:16:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Tea Party convservatives during a rally, boy what a day indeed.
Rufus_Sewell · 0 points · Posted at 14:23:22 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Aazzs
MrTwizzle · 0 points · Posted at 01:39:56 on May 4, 2014 · (Permalink)
I figured out what he's good at. Getting laughed at
I_Modz_Codz · 0 points · Posted at 01:17:47 on May 5, 2014 · (Permalink)
my friend
Pyranoside · -3 points · Posted at 01:33:17 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl from high school. In American History class as we covering the civil war she blurts out "OMG! I hate war it's just like murder!"
FACEPALM
clevernamesgetchicks · 11 points · Posted at 02:39:32 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats actually pretty deep if you think about it
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:14:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How is that dumb
Pyranoside · 0 points · Posted at 05:24:01 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
It was dumb because it had just occurred to her at the end of high school. It was a basic fact that everyone else in the class understood many years prior.
IncubusPhilosopher · 1 points · Posted at 19:03:36 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Le facebalm memes! Am such funniez! Lelelelele
unoriginal_commenter · -6 points · Posted at 02:11:40 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your mom.
IAmTotallyNotHere · 3 points · Posted at 03:23:46 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Pretty unoriginal, to be honest.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:48:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH gottum
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 02:59:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A mentally retarded child.
General_Eisenhower · -1 points · Posted at 05:06:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Hey dumbass: it's "WHOSE the dumbest person you've ever met?"
Rufkwest · 2 points · Posted at 13:47:04 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Umm. Generale, you sire are grammatically challenged. Its Who's ( as in who is not the whose you are so much in in love with. That one is a possessive pronoun. Do you know of individuals who own dumb people?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:15:53 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Is this sarcasm?
General_Eisenhower · 1 points · Posted at 17:09:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ding ding ding!
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 03:17:51 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
girl in my science class in high-school once told us that smoke was flammable, and that we close the doors during fire drills so that 'the fire doesn't get out'.
superdupertaco · 4 points · Posted at 06:05:34 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Smoke is flammable. I only recently found out about that myself though.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:03:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Thats candle smoke. The reason a candle works is (I believe, feel free to correct me) the wax when gaseous is flammable. So in reality, he is able to relight it because there are still fumes. I wouldn't believe wood smoke to be flammable....otherwise I'm the idiot and she's the genius..
jimmy17 · 1 points · Posted at 11:29:56 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I think most smoke is flammable given the right conditions. Smoke, as far as I'm aware, is the product of incomplete combustion. If the fuel were being perfectly burnt there would be no visible smoke, only CO2, NOxes etc
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:04:35 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
Stop. You're making me look bad in this thread.
blehonce · 2 points · Posted at 09:42:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
since no one else asked, what do you think the reason is?
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:00:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Well, a fire is going to burn right through that door. Its so that students don't go back in after its been cleared.
fuckfart · 1 points · Posted at 05:38:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Maybe she had someone do this to her: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cPJLw7Xkmzk
Reed_Solomon · -4 points · Posted at 04:46:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP
sloane-peterson · 0 points · Posted at 01:45:10 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my coworkers. He was told that he shouldn't be in his major by his grad school advisors. He failed his internship/whatever it's called because he didn't do his job well. He's still in grad school. He also doesn't have any common sense. It's so aggravating.
popokangaroo · 0 points · Posted at 05:09:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
There was a girl in my AP english class who spent 30 minutes up in front of the class describing the method holepunchers use to destroy the circle of paper. Like eliminated from existance with no waste. At one point she said it was fire or lasers that burned the paper. And then spent the rest of the time hole punching paper and going "see? It just vanishes!" She was like a 5, so she didn't have much going for her
IlluminatiJesus · 0 points · Posted at 05:51:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I'm gonna be sexist for a second and point out how the majority of these responses start with "this girl..."
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:58:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP's mom.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 06:14:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I worked with a girl who had many things that made her a moron. Among them:
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 07:43:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
helpmeouti · 2 points · Posted at 08:04:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That's actually not a terrible question.
flakkannonen · 0 points · Posted at 09:20:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl that could not understand, How Long is a chinaman. I tried to to draw it out and everything.
smyth3717 · 0 points · Posted at 09:51:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Worked with a girl who asked "where do deer go in the winter?"
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:07:14 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
bobnoski · 0 points · Posted at 13:29:20 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
For one. since you said push the button again. We can assume he either presses the button or holds it down. holding the button down can actually be faster then the reboot button because windows needs to unload a lot of stuff before safe shutdown.
There is actually a faster way than just pressing the restart button if you don't want to force shutdown. If you hold down shift and then press restart it will do a hot-reboot. Keeping the hardware on and skipping things like the bios screen. It just unloads and reloads windows. So it might sound like something stupid but there is a valid answer to it :)
oodlesontoast · 0 points · Posted at 10:41:08 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I may be late to this party, but I definitely have an entry into this one. We were in class last year and my teacher starts talking about 3D printers, and how you can print whole objects e.t.c. One girl raises her hand and asks, "But sir, wouldn't we need 3D glasses to see them?"
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:45:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl that asked me how to make icecubes. She had the tray in her hand and was standing next to the fridge.
After half an hour she went to check and they where not "finished" ie frozen yet. I told her she must have made a mistake and try again.
newjackruby · 0 points · Posted at 11:07:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The dumbest people I ever met were a large group of people queuing for a Sarah Palin book signing outside a Barnes & Nobel in sub-zero deathly wind chill conditions. I just had to go see it for myself. Like a car crash you can't turn away from.
ScarfacedTyrant · 0 points · Posted at 11:18:13 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my school:
-Auschwitz was a footbal arena -She can't tell time until 14 -Spain was a capital of Brazil -Industrialisation was before Jesus
ScarfacedTyrant · 0 points · Posted at 11:18:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Girl in my school:
-Auschwitz was a footbal arena -She can't tell time until 14 -Spain was a capital of Brazil -Industrialisation was before Jesus
CommieLoser · 0 points · Posted at 12:21:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
"Dude, I don't know, I'm not a birdologist."
He isn't dumb, but in the words of Steve Jobs, "He just won't read!"
JusticeY · 0 points · Posted at 12:32:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This bitch I know, Caitlyn. Dumbest person I've ever met.
Bob_Abounds · 1 points · Posted at 12:45:21 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Damn, that name just reeks of stupid. I also know a very dumb woman by that name.
Smackstainz · 0 points · Posted at 13:33:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Myself
DragoneerFA · 0 points · Posted at 13:38:05 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A co-worker of mine once told me that pigs don't have blood... which is why they're the "other" white meat. They don't have blood so their meat tends to be lighter in color.
He was dead serious.
YogiBarelyThere · 0 points · Posted at 13:43:47 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Every 21 year old university student with a drink in their hand at a noisy nightclub.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:46:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
wait a second thats me sometimes... -__-
YogiBarelyThere · 2 points · Posted at 13:51:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Don't feel bad. It was me too.
[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 13:55:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My brother-in-law. Total clusterfuck.
i_am_legendarski · 0 points · Posted at 14:14:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
You, OP. Your name is "quondam" you must be a dumbass 12 year old...
WitherBones · 0 points · Posted at 15:26:52 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We (me and two others) had a half an hour conversation with my ex where he believed that two portions of 3/4 a cup of water (1.5 cups) poured into one bowl was not the same as one portion of 1 whole cup and one portion of 1/2 a cup (also 1.5 cups) poured into one bowl.
He started that he understood that the amount of water was the same, but that the former form of measurement was actually considered 2 cups, but only because it was cut differently despite having the same mass and volume.
He also would purposely wear his break pads down and then not change them, because clearly the metal base stops the car better if it's metal-on-metal, cause they're both really hard.
Or how about the time he said making water run up hill is easy, all you need to do is add air to it cause 'air floats because gravity doesn't effect it, so if you add air, it'll be gravity proof'.
Yeah. He was a dumb ass.
itsjasondoe · 0 points · Posted at 15:58:39 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am a teachers assistant in a 9th grade class and this one girl had her moment. school experiences a blackout Girl: uhm..if we had a blackout, why aren't the ipads shut off? Aren't they technology too?
EveryoneElseIsWrong · 0 points · Posted at 16:20:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
i met a guy who said that it was a woman's responsibility to get out of an abusive relationship and that if she didn't get out of it for the sake of her children then SHE was "JUST AS BAD" as her husband who was abusing her.
i just ... i just ...... why.
So_Fantastical · 0 points · Posted at 16:27:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
We were talking about drugs and commuities one would find them in and such. The professor mentions meth is occasionally found in trailer parks.
"I think I'm at risk for meth" -girl who lives in trailer park
erbeardeclares · 0 points · Posted at 16:29:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ex boyfriend:
"Oh I don't sell weed, I just get it to the right people who are looking to buy and collect money for it."
Really? Thats called selling weed dipshit -.-
nrasa · 0 points · Posted at 00:35:08 on August 21, 2014 · (Permalink)
he's not dumb...he worded it so that it wouldn't sound as incriminating.
Vaux1916 · 0 points · Posted at 16:35:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I once convinced a woman from Connecticut that the second "c" was actually supposed to be pronounced. ConnECT-i-cut.
Murphthegurth · 0 points · Posted at 18:03:12 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
The girl I'm sticking it in thought that because she was traveling north on the train that she was travelling uphill, thought Jerusalem is in Germany, told me to stop making stuff up when listing the planets in our solar system, Didn't know that Madagascar is in fact real and a bunch of other stuff that makes me question how she is a Uni student studying forensic science.
AniDanny · 0 points · Posted at 18:52:45 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I knew a girl in high school who insisted that mermaids were real "because nobody can PROVE that they're not."
create_thread · -2 points · Posted at 08:58:23 on June 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
MYSELF. I THOUGHT MY ACID IN MY STOMACH IS TOO STRONG FOR NORMAL FOOD SO I OFTEN FELT STARVING AN HOUR AFTER MEAL. AS A RESULT, IVE BEEN EATING A BAR OF CRAYON EVERY DAY SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. AND I HAVE THE COURAGE TO POST THIS!!
CrimsonComet · -9 points · Posted at 23:43:17 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 06:23:44 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This thread is a perfect example of Reddit's outrageous entrenched misogyny. Fucking hell.
LordDakson · -3 points · Posted at 12:12:06 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
High school, during biology the pretty blonde. Typical type stuff. 3 absolute gems stand out in my mind.
Couple years out of high school i run into her again. Shed working as a topless waitress at a pub. Shed very embarrassed but knows ive spotted her, so comes over for a chat. Me:"Hey..... Nice to see you got a job, at least its something." Her:"Yeah! My dad owns the pub and said it was perfect for me!" So her dad had to give her a job in his own pub as a topless waitress.. Kinda sad really.
Sniksder16 · -1 points · Posted at 17:43:24 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your mom
lol_jesus_died · -2 points · Posted at 01:20:24 on March 26, 2014 · (Permalink)
I met Bill Nye once. He was a fucking asshole.
create_thread · -4 points · Posted at 08:31:57 on June 9, 2014 · (Permalink)
op,because U R the most narcissistic person Ive ever seen!!
Arkaboop · -2 points · Posted at 01:22:15 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Many years ago when working for a share registrars, I managed to convince two of the office's 16 year old temps that I had lost both of my nipples in a horrible mountain biking accident.
Anytime they asked to see them, I would refuse on the grounds that I was self conscious about the scars on my now nipple-less chest.
Managed to keep that particular charade going for 9 months. They were not smart girls.
IAmTotallyNotHere · 5 points · Posted at 03:24:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
How? How does that make them dumb? They beleived you and there is nothing strange about losing your nipples and being self concious about the scars.
BluesFan43 · -1 points · Posted at 02:52:37 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A coworker who are designed ocsillcocsinium, or however you spell it.
evildarkarmy · -1 points · Posted at 02:54:54 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Chad.
coucilpresident · -1 points · Posted at 04:01:07 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
This anemic girl. Bio major. She just can't help it.
renegadetoast · -1 points · Posted at 09:04:31 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I wish all of these replies had a picture of the person they're talking about, just so I can reach my maximum potential of disappointment.
blaze413 · -1 points · Posted at 11:06:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
OP
TheGamingOnion · -1 points · Posted at 11:15:28 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Any console gamer arguing that their system of choice is better than a pc.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:47:55 on March 27, 2014 · (Permalink)
Brother!
TheGamingOnion · 1 points · Posted at 07:08:24 on March 28, 2014 · (Permalink)
Ultimate pc gaming master race!
LanceHardwood69 · -1 points · Posted at 11:35:29 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Your mom!!
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 15:45:43 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Conversation with my ex.
Her: What's this pillow made of?
Me: Duck down.
Her: What?
Me: Duck down!
Her (proceeds to squat in the middle of the living room): What? (As she's giggling...clearly confused)
I proceeded to lose my shit for 20 minutes.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 16:11:19 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Her name is Abigail and she is a cashier at the store I work at. Only 17 but she smokes so much pot I think half of her brain cells are gone. As her supervisor, I'll ask her to do a simple task and I am met with the worlds most blank stare. You can just tell that there is absolutely nothing going on in there.
singeorgina · -6 points · Posted at 00:31:16 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Some girl from my high school math class... "So when you're adding fractions, the bottom doesn't have to be the same, right?"
chimplax · -2 points · Posted at 01:16:57 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bicep charles
-eDgAR- · -2 points · Posted at 02:27:30 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
One of my closests friends up until 8th grade, who was actually pretty intelligent, but threw all his potential away by dropping out of high school and getting involved in gangs and drugs.
MildlyAgitatedBidoof · 1 points · Posted at 12:39:11 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Go away DARE officer.
a_sad_sad_man · -2 points · Posted at 03:17:03 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
UR mum.
jellyfudgecakes · -2 points · Posted at 09:28:26 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
My reflection
AnotherMetalGear · -2 points · Posted at 11:20:01 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I recently volunteered at the Special Olympics. It's a toss up.
kesekimofo · -3 points · Posted at 01:47:18 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Obligatory your mom.
xxxni · -3 points · Posted at 03:24:38 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Bitched asked, "when was 9/11" in civics also didn't know Obamas first name, it pisses me off because she thinks she's rite sometimes and tries to argue it lol
MildlyAgitatedBidoof · 1 points · Posted at 04:07:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Obviously his first name is Obama.
CAGOCHI · -4 points · Posted at 04:15:09 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
whose*
h4tt0ri · -2 points · Posted at 09:21:25 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I am sorry but how are we not supposed to be judgmental and stereotypical when almost every post here is starting with "There was this girl..." :D :D
Gurtol · -4 points · Posted at 09:28:02 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
A girl who was in my year at school reached the age of 8 and stopped growing both mentally and physically. We once showed her a picture of Hitler in history class and convinced her it was David Beckham.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:55:00 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
That wasn't very nice.
Gurtol · 1 points · Posted at 18:33:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
I probably worded that badly. There was nothing wrong with her. She just looked very young and was extremely stupid
Red_Gardevoir · -6 points · Posted at 09:12:41 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
ITT: really dumb women
Ipad207 · -4 points · Posted at 01:42:58 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
Yo mama
lobsterbreakfast · -5 points · Posted at 02:18:56 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
your're mum! xD
afdsadf · 1 points · Posted at 22:34:24 on April 3, 2014 · (Permalink)
Fuck off back to youtube
[deleted] · -6 points · Posted at 19:11:27 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
[removed]
Anotherheadache · 4 points · Posted at 23:58:55 on March 25, 2014 · (Permalink)
If I could down vote you twice, I would.
BashfulTurtle · -8 points · Posted at 23:31:06 on March 24, 2014 · (Permalink)
You guys ever seen Between Two Ferns?
Zach has my vote.